#they used their Quincy knowledge to get here first

[troius]

[pilfappreciator]

ATTENTION TROLLS FANDOM!!

This is very important. Mostly to me but maybe you guys have been wondering this too idk but anyways:

How does troll reproduction work exactly?

Cuz I'm genuinely curious. I dont think anyone on the series production team has said anything and so far I've seen absolutely no one touch on this subject but as someone who's always had an interest in the habits of creatures (both fictional or otherwise), I kinda sorta maybe NEED to know this otherwise I'll never be able to sleep peacefully again

Full disclaimer that I'm specifically talking about the whole egg situation, I am NOT ASKING HOW THEY GET IT ON IF I WANTED THAT ANSWER I'D GO TO DEVIANT ART OR TWITTER OR WHATEVER LAWLESS PLATFORM GOD STEERS CLEAR OF. This discussion shall remain STRICTLY educational, thank you very much

But anywho. Let's dive in

So trolls come from eggs. This is basic knowledge. First instance of this phenomenon (as far as I know, I've only seen the movies) is from World Tour.

Egg pops out of Guy Diamond's hair, egg hatches and BOOM, (literal) baby. Now I understand that this whole sequence was probably just a gag and a way for DreamWorks to implement another (merchandisable) addition to the cast HOWEVER this sequence also raises a few questions

First off, as far as I know Guy Diamond has no partner (again: I haven't watched any of the spinoff shows). Either that or maybe the other troll was a sorta one-night-stand/no-longer-in-his-life kinda situation? Which is great either way cuz its shown he obviously cares for his son and we at Tumblr appreciate a loving single father no matter the circumstances, but if my former theory is correct than that would imply that trolls are capable of reproducing asexually. Like onions.

Now if that hypothesis is, as they call it, "cap" then that would mean that some sorta hanky panky has to go down before an egg comes into question. And if that's the case, does this mean that male trolls are traditionally the ones who carry the eggs?

But that can't be right, can it? Afterall, World Tour gave us yet ANOTHER egg scene later on in the movie

In Cooper's flashback, we clearly see Queen Essence being the one carrying the eggs meanwhile King Quincy is eggless. Now, as far as i see it, this could be explained either one of four ways:

1) Quincy was the one who actually produced the eggs and Essence is merely holding them for her husband (since her hair seems more fitting to be a makeshift nest compared to Quincy's)

2) Female trolls are the ones who produce the eggs. Guy Diamond is just a trans icon

3) Troll reproduction differs from genre to genre

4) There is a... *sighs* a/b/o type of dynamic among troll kind where certain trolls are capable of giving birth/siring children depending on a secondary gender

In regards to theory #3, this could also explain why Guy Diamond seems to reproduce and hatch an egg in such a short amount of time (like 5 seconds I'm pretty sure) as opposed to Queen Essence/King Quincy who's eggs presumably went a while longer before actually hatching.

Actually, speaking off eggs, are trolls the only species in their world that reproduce that way?

Because now that Band Together has officially been released, we now know for certain that it's possible for different species to crossbreed. Biggest example? Resident DILF Bruce and his giant muppet wife

(Credit to @captainunderkrupp )

When I saw these two... I swear...

And these two already have a shit ton of kids okay so like... either Brandi was the one giving birth or trollsona Daveed Digs was over here pumpin out eggs, which I mean-

DO YOU SEE HOW BIG THESE THINGS ARE COMPARED TO BRANCH AND POPPY?? Believe me I am PRAYING that Bruce gave himself some serious maternity/paternity leave because my guy is honestly a trooper

But yeah any thoughts? :))

[a-not-so-clean-blog]

Nu carnival boys and how they would react to someone screaming at you

Yakumo

He's scared for you. He holds your hand trying to comfort you and himself. After the person leaves he's going to spoil you for the rest of the day. He's going to get you all kinds of treats and do anything he can to take your mind off of what happened. He's got anxiety for the rest of the day but tries not to show it.

Edmond

He is going to use his knowledge of law to threaten the person right back. He does it in such an eloquent way so that no repercussions can fall back on you. It's his job to protect the kingdom from ‘disturbance of the peace’, ‘harassment’, or ‘threat of bodily harm'. All very serious crimes. The person shuts up and skulks away pretty quickly. Afterwards he'll take you out for some sweets, but you'll have to wait for him to get off of patrol first.

Olivine

Honestly most people calm down as soon as he points out that they're getting aggressive. I mean how are you supposed to argue with a priest about anger? It's incredibly rare that he can't deescalate a situation but if he can't then he will usher you into a different area and close the door. Even if the other person tries to open the door or he is much stronger and can simply hold it closed until they tire themselves out and go away. Then he can sit with you and rub your back until you feel better.

Quincy

For the most part he'll let you handle your own battles, but it's a different story if he starts to see your hands shaking or something telling him that you can't handle this. He'll stand up and loom over you as a silent threat to the other person. He doesn't want to get physical but the moment the person gets too close he's on them like a wild animal. He won't throw a punch but he is going to pin them and whisper something in their ear. You don't want to know what he said and he's not going to tell you. He'll let you cuddle with him after because naps fix everything.

Kuya

He takes in every feature of the person, committing them to memory. Kuya may insult them to take their attention off of you, because he knows he can take whatever pathetic insults this puny human can say. After the person is gone he will tell you not to worry about them and they aren't worth your thoughts. Some time later Kuya is going to find them and trap them in an illusion making them lose their mind. It's what they deserve for upsetting you.

Blade

He's confused why someone is mad at you. Once he realizes what the person is saying to you he enters “protection mode”. If the person takes even a single step towards you then Blade is fully ready to attack. You may even need to defend this person from Blade if it escalates that much. After everything is said and done blade asks why they were so upset and when you explain why he's just so confused because it does not make any sense to him. How could someone get so hostile towards you?

Garu

He's going to physically get between you and the person yelling at you. He's going to try to take their attention off of you and put it on to him instead. He's going to be upset after getting yelled at but he's going to be even more upset if he watches you get yelled at. If things get taken too far he may tap out and let Karu take over, but he'll try his best to make the person leave you alone.

Karu

He's going to bite them. No questions asked. If he has to switch in he is attacking first and asking questions never. It all happened so fast and he is grabbing your hand and running away. He boasts about how strong he is and that he'll always be here to protect you.

Dante

It depends. If you did something stupid he will let the other person say their piece, but will stop them if they go to far. He will comfort you afterwards but will also discuss how the situation could have been handled instead. If you did nothing wrong and the person is just screaming at you then you better believe Dante is going to punish them harshly. Sure he'll try to deescalate the situation first but if the person doesn't back off then they will feel the wrath of the sun.

Rei

He is going to verbally rip this person apart. Normally I say Rei uses his intelligence for evil, but in this case he will pinpoint every insecurity that this person has and break them down piece by piece. If this person didn't have any self-image issues before then they sure do have some now because Rei is about to give them a big inferiority complex.

Eiden

He's going to get mad and start yelling right back. He doesn't care even if you were at fault, he's got your back no matter what. Now it's him and this person screaming and Eiden is ready to throw hands. After everything is over he makes really sarcastic comments about how that person was an idiot. He'll make sure you guys go out and do something fun to destress.

Aster

He'll just jump into the situation and shove a piece of paper into the person's face, and they will instantly go pale. Aster has blackmail on literally everybody and he is more than willing to use it for you. Afterwards he will joke about how dumb that person was to be mean to you and if you're lucky he may buy you something as well.

Morvay

He's going to just take your hand and walk away. Even if the person is still yelling at you and following, he's just going to keep walking and talk to you about whatever ‘fun’ thing you're going to do next. He kind of hopes the person is just going to stop. If they don't though he is going to turn around and say something really vulgar for shock value, then just continue to walk away while the person is too stunted to do anything. Afterwards he just laughs about the whole situation to make you feel better, and goes on about how stupid they looked.

[tako-cafe]

Twisting your Carnival

Time to do my number 1 activity and that is forcing different characters into TWST. This time is Nu:Carnival. I'll be assigning Dorms and Clubs. This takes place in the idea of them waking up via a lot of carriages stole them all overnight but after a time Yuu is already there and running Ramshackle by themselves, but before the first overblot happens. So Yuu is new as well and these boys are late delivery. note: I always write the college as well an actual college. Everyone is at least 18+ here.

Eiden- Ramshackle is a pretty obvious choice due to his lack of magic usage. He serves as a good member of the misfit dorm as Yuu's unofficial Vice. He ended up joining Film Research Club as a costume designer and maker. He ends up being a head in that area quickly due to how well he does his work.

Aster- Octavinelle is pretty obvious really. Aster and Azul are going to get along scarily well really. Aster is very excited to try to get what he can info wise to try to set up business here too. He ends up joining the Science club but more on the side of studying various topics in it to see if he can make one profitable. He stays mostly to the side cultivating plants.

Morvay- He was harder on me but I landed on Savanaclaw. He isn't doing much but eyeing down them all, and then sleeping with them all. Quite a few times over actually. He also does join spelldrive but again it was just to watch sweaty shirtless men so he isn't much help. Basically the unofficial cheerleader.

Olivine- He ended up in Pomefiore because of how inline he was with the dorms tenacity with how he tried to escape his decided fate. To add on it he tried to do so by "poisoning" his alter which lines up with the dorms alchemy inclinations. He ends up joining the film research club behind the scenes as someone who helps transporting supplies and props.

Yakumo- Diasomnia but not in the way the dorm described its students as being above average already but in the way the dorm would help him actually learn to use his powers where he finally is reaching closer to his impressive strength he’s meant to have. He doesn't choose a club but instead chooses to work the lounge as a cook for a few days a week. He loves learning the recipes from Jade for this world, and manages to recreate ones he knew already. He mostly works with Jade during dinner and makes specials or soups.

Quincy- Savanaclaw. It just felt correct. All vibes. He does join the Mountain Lovers Club with Jade and they get along super well. Quincy being so good in the woods ends up being an extremely valuable for Jade to fill in knowledge he didn't have yet.

Kuya- Pomefiore for the fox man. He's one I did partly base this on he'd be pretty in the uniform. But he would fit the queens ideals on his own level. He ends up joining the Board Game Club and loves it. He finds the games enjoyable and especially loves tabletop rpgs but as a DM. Letting him run games means he is pulling wild shit on everyone though. He's chaos itself.

Edmond- Heartslabyul. This man is the perfect person for this. He knows every rule. He wouldn't break them if he can help it and ends up a model student. He also joins the Equestrian Club and does fantastic at that as well.

Garu- Scarabia newest resident. He loves Kalim. He tries to be good for Jamil but honestly Jamil is cold to basically everyone so it ends up being a push and pull issue with them. Garu pop music club!! Kalim heard him sing and invited him and Cater and Lilia take to him so quickly. IE: they gave him headpats and he happily stayed.

Blade- Ignihyde...yes just because he's an android. No I have no other reason. But let me bring forth Blade Ortho best friends would be peak. I rest my case. He also joins the Gargoyle Study Club and loves it. He makes little guys and gives them to Eiden.

Dante- Another Savanaclaw but he's more so in here because I think he could be what finally pushes Leona to really introspect. Dante's attitude mixed with his position could easily end up making the one person who finally gets to our lion prince. They would argue a lot but Leona isn't about to let someone else show him up in his own dorm. He ends up in the basketball club and is pretty good at the sport rather quickly.

Rei- Diasomnia and he's studying the fae. He is mildly concerning to have around. He would love the Fae to study especially Sebek with his unique situation. He is one who joins the science club but does actual science.

Rin-Diasomnia but you'd never guess since he's following Eiden around anyway which also goes for his club. He joined film club too.

[melliotwrites]

Hi! My brain has been going on and on and on about this musical and I’d love to know some lore about what happened to the Adamandi characters in freshman year! It’s hinted at and talked about a couple of times and I’m really curious.

Hi!! I'm really glad you're enjoying Adamandi! Thanks for the great question as well :)

Disclaimer that this is from a writing perspective, and also a snapshot of how we thought about the characters at the very beginning of the production process (when we wrote this draft of the script). Our actors, director, and designers for the Princeton production all came up with ideas about what happened to the characters, so if you're interpreting the choreography or costumes or acting choices or something, you might get a different takeaway (which is part of the magic of a collaborative art form like theater!)

(Stage directions and info about the characters is under the read more!)

The primary source of information in the script for what the characters are doing freshman year is A Word to the Wise; the characters enter as freshmen and then age up to seniors throughout the course of the song. This is the stage direction we wrote for the beginning:

The costume descriptions are meant to signify that when each of the characters begin their education at Address, they don't quite fit in. Quincy comes from an affluent family but is expecting to be met with prejudice by the rest of the student body, so they overcompensate by overdressing. Vincent is an international student from China, and they doesn't have the money or the knowledge of cultural norms in the United States to dress exactly like the other students yet, but they're trying their hardest. Ambrose hasn't found his niche with the sports extracurriculars and spends his time doing pottery instead; Beatrix doesn't care about fitting in yet, so she isn't consciously branding herself as a journalist (and hasn't yet changed her name to an Anglicized version). Portia isn't there because she is a Sophomore in the current day so she hasn't arrived at Ardess yet!

As the song progresses, their costumes change to signify their transformations into the jaded Seniors we know and love: Quincy dresses down to fit in, Vincent gets his long coat to show that he *isn't* trying to fit in, Ambrose and Beatrix get the signature clothing of their school clubs which are also their primary social groups, etc.

The first verse of A Word to the Wise (in theory) encompasses their freshman year, so the stage directions during the song show their social situations and relationships to other characters:

Vincent and Ambrose gravitate together, as roommates and fellow visual arts enjoyers (I also have adopted Tobias' headcanon that this is because Ambrose is trying to "teach" Vincent about being a guy and wants to bond with him over gender things, since he's never met another trans person before). Quincy and Vincent haven't met yet- Quincy, excluded by their year for both their intellectual airs and their race, hangs out mostly with older students who indoctrinate them into Ardess' toxic achievement culture.

Student 5 was played by the same actor as Adrian in the Princeton production, which fit this moment well; initially, Ambrose is trying to use his privilege to protect Vincent from the Marmorei's bullying, but it just means both of them are excluded. Beatrix gets invited but not socially accepted into the Newspaper club.

At the end of their freshman year, Ambrose gets drawn in by the Marmorius Society and slowly stops hanging out with Vincent, leaving Vincent alone.

The second verse of A Word to the Wise loosely covers their second year at Ardess. Beatrix joins the Ardess Daily, and Ambrose officially gets tapped for the Marmorius Society (they're specified here because of the lyric about secret societies- the Marmorius Society is intended to be one of those secret-but-not-secret societies at Ivy League universities that people join by invitation.)

At the end of their sophomore year and the start of their Junior year, Vincent is officially alone, as is Quincy, since both of their friends have more or less abandoned them. Beatrix is fighting for recognition in the Ardess daily, but she remains a Ghost Writer- unrecognized officially but used for her journalistic talent. Ambrose has decided to imitate the Marmorei as much as possible, and is carefully crafting his appearance to that aim- a harbinger of things to come.

The rest of the song covers Quincent meeting, the arrival of Portia, and Ambrose becoming the leader of the Marmorei, but I'll leave it there since you just asked about freshman year! The most significant things that happened Freshman year are Vincent and Ambrose being roommates and Beatrix getting headhunted for the Ardess Daily. Thanks for the question and I'm glad you're enjoying the show!

~Mel

[misterradio]

okay here are my renfield 2023 thoughts [peace sign] you have been spoiler warned.... and long-post-warned.....

okay first off this is the first movie i have watched in a theatre in years and it was really fun ::-) i do have a headache now though. there werent a lot of people in the theatre and apparently at some point someone came in just to have a muttered conversation in his phone and left? RUDE! also the seats were very comfy.

anyways here are some actual movie thoughts:

the set design and lighting was so cool ESPECIALLY for dracula's lair with the eerie lighting around the blood-bag throne. so cool!! i liked renfield's house which was very much the opposite where it was very colourful. him finding his own modern sense of style was a neat detail.

did not care for the cops. didnt even really care for the crime ring plot. actually i didnt really feel invested in any of the characters even though i feel i shouldve... i watched this movie bc i wanted to see how it went and that i did! i wish i could have had stronger positive feelings.

my brother said that it was a very "modern movie" and i have to agree... i've been watching a lot of various older movies in general, this one definitely had a very different vibe. maybe im just not familiar with the genre? it just had like... modern humour / sensibilities... i dont knoowwww

re; the last two points: a lot of this movie was focusing on analyzing renfield and draculas relationship, but it used very clinical language to describe everything, so it did a lot more talking about the idea of an abusive relationship than really making me feel like that's what was happening ??!?!??!!?? also they were really throwing the concept of narcisists under the bus.

i liked the music during the credits but i have to admit i didnt think about the music during the movie. the credits in general were also cool they had really neat visuals ::-)

F--K COPS !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! what else can i say.

one review i read said the gore was over the top and played for comedy aand they were RIGHT i was actually quite shocked at first how much gore there was. it wasnt even good most of the time but that was kind of making it funnier.

it was fun and good in a way that a lighthearted action comedy splatter movie would be good. do not expect emotional depth? (which seems like it wouldve been an important factor to get strong in this movie?) also remember this is following the concept of the 1931 movie not the book lol. i dont think you need to know either of them to enjoy this movie but the background knowledge is nice.

i wish i could see a dracula (book) adaptation where the characters are intact and also renfield is actually 59 years old... he is so young all the time please age this frickin guy

----------

le more thoughts i am adding on after thinkin on it more....

i didnt think of it while the movie was going but they never quoted dracula ever. bit sad. i would have been delighted by any book references (besides the obvious). the most they do is have a characters father be named 'morris quincy' (like quincy morris from the original novel).

how does dracula exist in this universe? ppl seem to acknowledge familiarity with him, but is it as a fictional character thru a book, or a mythological figure, etc..?

i said this in another post but, i would have liked to SEE renfields rocky relationship rather than having it be stated for the audience via narration... i also would love to know how renfield went from the wacky ~insane~ guy in the 1931 movie (which they acknowledge renfield in the asylum here!) to being a regular plain guy in the present. how did he change so much.... was he delusional or did dracula make his delusions real......

also tumblr was dropped by name. in this movie. and i have to say. it was actually funny.

they should have had nick cage look gorey and gross more often. i liked his look when he like had his skin on his face just barely on there. so cool.

[strangeanduncanny]

You've made some really great points here. I love the scene where Mina uses her knowledge of the train schedule (certainly painting her as a modern woman) to help the plan to defeat Dracula. Unrelated, but this also makes her a great narrative foil to Dracula who is also very interested in train schedules.

I just want to clarify some of my original points, but I'm definitely not disagreeing with you necessarily.

When I referred to Mina using modern knowledge to help the men I was actually referring to before her assault not after. For example, one of Mina's standout skills is her ability to write in shorthand, which is pivotal in the plot against Dracula. This is a skill she explicitly learns to act as Jonathan's assistant in his solicitor work. She write to Lucy: "I have been working very hard lately, because I want to keep up with Jonathan’s studies, and I have been practising shorthand very assiduously. When we are married I shall be able to be useful to Jonathan, and if I can stenograph well enough I can take down what he wants to say in this way and write it out for him on the typewriter, at which also I am practising very hard." That is, Mina resembles the New Woman in ways that useful for Jonathan to succeed in his work.

In regard to Mina losing narrative control, she is the one to organize the first half of the narrative. This is said explicitly in the text. We might assume she does the same for the latter half of the text, but there is no evidence for this. In fact the beginning of the novel only states that "these papers have been placed in sequence" and "ll needless matters have been eliminated." Nothing is said of who organizes the papers.

What we do know is the men (Van Helsing, Harker, Quincy, and Holmwood) all agree that it is too dangerous to include Mina in their plans when she is under Dracula's thrall. Van Helsing tells Mina after the attack that that "When we part to-night, you no more must question. We shall tell you all in good time. We are men and are able to bear; but you must be our star and our hope" and "All the men, even Jonathan, seemed relieved." In response, Mina thinks to herself "I could say nothing, save to accept their chivalrous care of me." This to me seems a far cry from the Mina who bore the emotional weight of all the men (comforting Seward when he cries in front of her and reading Harker's diary when he is too weak to do so himself).

The only voice that is left to her (one could argue) is Dracula, as she is hypnotized to tell the Crew of Light (as Christopher Craft names the team against Dracula) of Dracula's leaving England. Something to not about these hypnosis scenes is that Mina longer retains her ability to make sense of or interpret these narrative events. She answers Van Helsing's questions about what she hears and feels Dracula doing, but he is the one that understands Dracula's plan.

Regarding Lucy wanting three husbands: "Why can’t they let a girl marry three men, or as many as want her, and save all this trouble?" Of course, we can read this as Lucy being simply sweet and not wanting to hurt the feelings of Quincy and Seward. It's how I'm inclined to read her.

However, considering her transformation into a vampire makes her a very sexual creature, it's not a reach to say that she is punished for being sexual. Moreover, it's explicit in the text that female sexual desire is evil. Seward comments on Lucy's transformation that she had a "deliberate voluptuousness which was both thrilling and repulsive."

Holmwood claims that "he felt since then as if they two had been really married [because he transfused blood to her] and that she was his wife in the sight of God." This is after she has already received blood from Seward, Quincy, and Holmwood. (Note: I'm not 100% sure she gets blood from Quincy, but if I'm remembering correctly she does). This, in the context of the period the novel was written, does suggest Lucy to be a polygamist.

Also @lasarusbird called me out mentioning that op had already read many academic statements. I was definitely not trying to be patronizing or imply that they hadn't. OP put academic in quotations marks, so I assumed they were being facetious. Also, the articles I referenced are just ones that I find particularly interesting and useful for this field. Carol Senf especially is instrumental in the field of Dracula scholarship.

Finally, I just want to mention that I love 'Dracula' and Mina is one of my favorite characters of all time. My first year thesis was actually written entirely about my frustration with how Coppola weakened Mina's agency in the film adaptation by including her love plot. But I also enjoy engaging with literary criticism which is why I wanted to include my argument her.

actually insane that i wasn't sure if i should read dracula because i had seen so many 'academic' claims of misogyny and then i finally read it and mina murray harker is literally one of my favorite characters in like a decade. like she's got so much personality and agency and like yes she has internalized the expectations of women at the time but they literally can't beat dracula without her, she is essential. she is intelligent and funny and intense and weird and i adore her.

what the fuck is everyone smoking to claim that she's a sad little housewife who is dracula's bride or whatever.

[incomingalbatross]

In the category of "crossovers that only occur because these are the two things I'm thinking about," I suggest: Dracula fix-it where Marty McFly drives a time machine into the middle of the plot.

In order to uphold his narrative roles of "Normal 80s Teen" and "Enactor of Time-Travel Fix-Its," I think it's necessary for Dracula to be a published work in-universe with a similar standing to its real-world counterpart. Since it's an epistolary novel and you can imagine the characters wanting to spread this information, I think that works okay.

Because of this, Marty has a normal degree of late-twentieth-century pop-culture-osmosis familiarity with Dracula.

This means he is preeminently qualified to be the guy who tells Dracula characters they're in Dracula.

Honestly, you can land him in any section of the novel we've had so far. Jonathan's trip, Whitby, London? It hardly matters. The important thing is that Marty McFly walks into/wakes up in the middle of Plot, gets approximately ten percent of the Plot explained to him—and then interrupts to say, in a voice of rising distress, "Are you tellin' me this is a vampire situation?? There's some kinda Dracula deal goin' on here??"

Like Quincy but so, so much more so.

...Unfortunately, Marty can't use any more specific Future Knowledge here because, well, pop-culture osmosis. He's never actually read Dracula. (Jury's out on whether he's seen any of the movies.)

I feel like Marty walking in early enough and going "Dracula? Like the vampire??" could be immensely helpful on its own, though. And he would definitely mesh well with the canon crew.

(Jury's also out on whether or not Doc shows up, I think; in 1897 he's living in California, interestingly, and has the Train functioning, but getting to England might still be rough. Maybe Marty was trying to visit him in the first place but somehow ended up on the wrong side of the Atlantic?)

(Additional note, though: Van Helsing is somewhere in Doc's family tree—not direct, obviously, but a close enough relative to be Christopher Lloyd. This is important to me.)

[hamueltobin]

behold! i didn't see any otgw icebergs, so i made my own :)

if you think i should add something, lmk!!

Explanations under cut :)

First layer:

▪︎Beast!Wirt au - very popular au in which Wirt stays in the Unknown, possessed by the Beast to some extent.

▪︎Bad End Friends - Crossover AU of Beast!Wirt teaming up with Ice Finn from Adventure Time and Bipper from Gravity Falls; sometimes other 'bad end' au characters are thrown in such as a glitched Gumball from TAWOG

▪︎Irl Copies of the For Sara tape - Limited copies of the For Sara tape were sold at two points. They have yet to sell for a third time. (🤞🤞🤞)

▪︎Tome of the Unknown (pilot) - The Pilot of the series. Can be watched on YouTube.

▪︎Wirt Staying in the Unknown - In a scrapped ending, Wirt was to stay in the Unknown, saying that facing your real problems was scarier than staying there.

▪︎Mystery Kids - Crossover AU with other child-late teens aged characters from sources based on mysterious and supernatural themes such as Gravity Falls and Psychonauts.

▪︎Quincy Endicott's grave - Quincy's grave can be seen in the graveyard that Sara and the others are hanging out in.

▪︎Original Beatrice Voice Actress - Beatrice had a different VA in the pilot, Natasha Leggero. Melanie Lynskey voices her in the actual series.

▪︎The Woodsman's Daughter is Named Anna - The comics have several issues focused on his daughter, in which her name is revealed to be Anna.

▪︎Jason Funderburker's Ax Murderer Story - At the gathering in the graveyard, Funderburker is telling a story about a man with an ax; this story is believed to have influenced the existence of the Woodsman.

▪︎Full Versions of Songs in the OST - A handful of the songs are cut down for their appearances in the series and can only be heard in full on the OST. The most notable example is Old Black Train , which is actually 2 minutes and 15 seconds long, but is only in the series for about 15-20 seconds.

Second Layer:

▪︎Sara is named after the Fleetwood Mac song - Listen to it here :) it is notable that it includes lyrics about "drowning in a sea of love" and that Sara is "the poet of [the singer's] heart."

▪︎OTGW Reanimated - a reanimated project for the first episode. Got taken off of YouTube, but can be viewed on Dailymotion.

▪︎Baby Wirt Audio - In the For Sara cassette, there is a small section of audio that can be heard in about the middle of the recording of Wirt's father talking to him as a baby.

▪︎Funderburker/Funderberker - The two Jasons's surnames are spelled slightly differently to avoid confusion.

▪︎The Brothers Never Ate or Needed to Rest - Although Greg expressed being hungry, neither of the boys actually ate anything (outside of one spoonful of bland potatoes and inedible items such as dirt and leaves) and never laid down to rest, only sleeping when night came.

▪︎Book on Interior Design in Wirt's Room - In Wirt's from, a book on interior design can be seen laying on the floor, backing up the knowledge he displayed when analyzing the interconnected mansions.

▪︎Mad Love was Based on a Dream - The plot of Mad Love came from a dream that Pat McHale had about house hunting. In the dream, while exploring one of the houses being shown, he ended up wandering into someone else's home.

▪︎Beatriceoftheday - A blog dedicated to our lord and savior Beatrice, known for its strange shitposts and intense praise of the titular bird girl.

▪︎Wirt is Jealous of Greg's Popularity - Shown in the Circus Friends issue of the comics, Wirt is jealous of Greg's ability to make everyone laugh and have fun. This may factor into his dislike of his brother.

▪︎Greg was Feeding Fred at the Tavern - At first watching, one may be confused as to where all the food Greg was gathering went, why Fred was wearing lipstick and why he was refusing to talk to Beatrice. Shown in a deleted scene, this all explained, as Fred tells Beatrice that he didn't talk to her because Greg was feeding him.

▪︎Elijah Wood Voiced the Crazy Driver - Exactly what is says on the tin, the nutty driver was voiced by Wood.

▪︎Cloud City is Heaven - A popular theory that Cloud City actually represents Heaven.

▪︎Greg is Greg Universe - A headcanon/theory that has mostly died out that Greg is the same Greg in Steven Universe.

▪︎Bee Beatrice - Beatrice was originally cursed to become a bee, but was changed into a bluebird to match better with the seasonal autumn theme.

▪︎Pat McHale Voiced Wirt's Voice Crack - Wirt's voice crack when asking the Beast Are You? was actually done by McHale, not Wood.

▪︎The Other Actors Harassing Elijah Wood When Singing Wirt's Song - In order to make the performance as awkward as possible, the other actors were asked to yell and demand Wirt to sing. This can be heard in the episode.

▪︎Come Wayward Souls Has the Same Melody as O Holy Night - The song shares a cadence with "O Holy Night", and can be sung to its tune.

▪︎Black Turtles Origin/Purpose - No one knows why the black turtles exist, and McHale has said that they're just one of the unexplainable things of the Unknown.

▪︎Anna Never Left the House - In the aforementioned comics, it is shown that Anna had never left the house, living on her own until the Woodsman's return.

▪︎Sailor Suit Greg - Greg originally wore a sailor suit, but was changed later on to his current, Johnny Appleseed inspired outfit .

▪︎Beatrice Missing Being Able to Flip People Off - In the Art Book, Beatrice's introduction states that one of the reasons she hates being a bird is because she no longer has hands to flip people off with.

Third Layer

▪︎Jason Funderberker is Visually Based on a Teen Pat McHale - As seen here, Funderberker was designed after McHale.

▪︎Babes in the Wood is Based on an Old Alice in Wonderland Cartoon - You can view the original 1923 cartoon here! Starts at 4:25.

▪︎Wirt and Sara are Dipper and Mabel's Parents - A popular AU/hc where Dipper and Mabel of Gravity Falls are the future kids of Wirt and Sara.

▪︎The Tune of Wirt's Song is Improvised - In addition to the aforementioned harassment, in a further attempt to make the performance as awkward as possible, Elijah Wood was not given a tune to sing, only the lyrics.

▪︎Wirt's Costume Origin - As said in the art book and on his tumblr, Wirt's cone and cape come from an attempted rock and roll persona from McHale's teen years.

▪︎Greg is Based on Pat McHale's Son - It has been claimed that Greg is based on McHale's son, but Greg existed before him. The similarities are simply coincidental.

▪︎Old Scratch - The original name of the Beast.

▪︎The Beast Killed the Woodsman's Wife - Shown in the comics, The Woodsman's wife was mortally injured, with her attacker implied to be the Beast.

▪︎Wirt and Greg Staying in the Unknown Until Christmas - Another scrapped ending, in which the brothers stay in The Unknown until Christmas, with their absence unexplained.

▪︎Tome of the Unknown (original plot) - Early concepts had the Beast ( then known as Old Scratch as mentioned earlier ) scattering the pages of the titular book for the brothers to collect. Each page would come to life and the brothers would explore each story.

▪︎Dante's Inferno Comparisons - Check out these videos for full analysis!

▪︎Wirt Panty Shots - In the aforementioned Circus Friend comics, Wirt dons a dress as part of a disguise. Later on, he rips off the bottom half off, revealing that he is wearing bloomers.

▪︎The Beast's True Form was Inspired by Trypophobia - As stated in the art book, The Beast's hole-filled appearance was inspired by Trypophobia, the fear of many small holes.

▪︎The Fight is Over is About Drowning - Give the lyrics another read.

▪︎The Beast Last Minute Design Change - The Beast had a very different design, and it was changed into the current one at the last minute.

▪︎Gnome in Cloud City Representing Wirt - Many people believed that the Gnome with the lantern in cloud city was a parallel to Wirt, or a glimpse into his future. However, this was debunked.

▪︎Send Me a Peach - This song is included in the ost, but isn't in the actual series.

▪︎Fred and the Highwayman's Backstory - The comics expand upon the story of Fred the Horse and his involvement with the Highwayman.

Fourth Layer

▪︎Babes in the Wood Title Origin - The name of this episode comes from an old story of a pair of children getting lost in the woods, dying, and being buried in leaves by robins.

▪︎poorlydrawnotgw - This was a blog created during the poorly drawn series meme period. It consisted of poorly drawn and very strange shitposts and has since been deactivated. I was a part of it as mod Goopy Wirt and only have a handful of images saved from it.

▪︎Read and Listen Book Lost Audio - A read and listen book was created, with the book being read by Greg's Frog, who would stop every now and again to talk about being a frog. The pages can be found online, but the audio is currently lost.

▪︎Skinless Witch - A scrapped episode concept involved a skinless witch that kidnapped Greg and rode him like a horse.

▪︎Gentleman Burglar Wirt - A scrapped concept in which Wirt breaks into a woman's home, who is charmed by this young man who has come to visit her.

▪︎Animal Transformation - It was originally planned for Wirt and Greg to be turned into a bear/dog and a duck and remain that way for several episodes. This was later used in the comics.

▪︎The Unknown is influenced by Wirt's mind/interests - The Unknown is influenced by those who walk in it, in this case, Wirt. This includes the old timey mystical nature of it, as Wirt has been stated to have an interest in old folk tales.

▪︎Good Guy Beast/Black Train Scrapped Concept - In an earlier draft, the brothers were on a train, heading to what they assumed was death. They jump off, ending up in the Unknown. The Beast tries to get them back on the train, which turns out to be heading back to life.

▪︎Evil Woodsman - At one point, the Woodsman was intended to be under the influence of the Beast and tried to sabotage the brothers's attempts to return home.

▪︎Lorna Reading the Tome of the Unknown in the Epilogue - In the epilogue, Lorna can be seen reading the titular book from the aforementioned scrapped plot.

▪︎The Beast was Originally the Devil Himself - The Beast was first designed as a devil-like character, the aforementioned Old Scratch.

▪︎The Brothers Never Went Home/The Hospital is Part of The Unknown - a theory based on the fact that the edges of the screen are still blurred at the end of chapter 10, the rushed narration, and the lack of consequences of nearly drowning.

▪︎Beatrice Seeing Wirt Nude - In one of the comics, Beatrice accidentally sees Wirt while he is washing his clothes in the river.

▪︎Sara is a Descendant of Lorna - A theory that Sara is a distant relative of Lorna.

▪︎Exists in the Same Universe as Clarence and Home Movies - The most well known piece of evidence is the overhead shot of the town matching the town that Clarence is set in. Wirt and Greg also have a cameo in another episode, and one of the final episodes shows Brendon Small of Home Movies runs a movie rental store in the town, connecting all three series together.

Final Layer

▪︎Beast x Wirt - Also known as Poetree.

▪︎Candycone - Greg x Wirt.

[goatbi]

Post Future

They were new. Uryu knew this well enough, looking out towards the Soul Reapers approaching their camp. The young Quincy surrounding him looked down his line of sight, looking back up at him when he didn't seem to react.

"Sensei?" One of them asked, and Uryu looked down at them, eyes darting between them, before he crouched down carefully, bringing himself down to eye level with them all.

"I told you all one day I would have to go away for a bit, right?" They nodded, and Uryu smiled, ruffling a few of their hair, and they pouted, and some laughed, leaving him grinning. "Well they're here, and you have older family who can care for you just as well as I can."

"You'll come back to visit sometimes, right?"

Uryu stood carefully, nodding. "Of course. I'll find time to return to you all every once in awhile. I won't be like the old."

They nodded carefully. He had told all new generations of Quincy the stories of the past Almighty, and how he would do everything he could to not be like him.

The new Soul Reapers, babies of their craft, stared him down like they could take him. Uryu smiled at them, gentle and calm as he always was.

"Quincy Almighty, by the-"

"Order of Central Forty Six, and Head Captain Kyoraku Shunsui, I am to follow you, I know, I know. Lead the way, I'm not about to resist in the middle of our home."

The Soul Reapers looked around at the collection, the elders teaching the younger, the ones too young to learn running around together and laughing as they dodged around the legs of the older teens during their breaks. The small town that Uryu had built with the life of new Quincy was thriving, and Uryu was finally secure enough to go back to the Soul Society with them.

He let them put the cuffs on him. They were supposed to suppress his spiritual energy, but they barely put a damper on it. He didn't say anything, however, content to let them believe they had declawed the cat.

The travel was quiet, neither willing to speak to him, and Uryu not up for starting a conversation with them. They were children, but not like his children, the ones he had raised from infancy. These were cocky, believing their simply hundred years was in any way comparable to Uryu's thousands.

He was old, much older than they could ever believe, and Uryu let them believe that they could take his power away.

Kyoraku was not nearly as naive, but his orders didn't come from Central Forty-Six like they children flanking him believed.

Uryu ended up in front of him, and Kyoraku smiled. He was much older, physically, than Uryu remembered, but it had been a few thousand years. Kyoraku was so tired. Uryu figured he was going to let go soon enough. Being without Juushiro had hurt him deeply. He'd lost nearly everything in that war with the Quincy of Old.

"Ahh, Ishida!" Kyoraku grinned at him, and Uryu smiled politely back, lifting both hands-since he couldn't lift them separately currently-to wave at him. Kyoraku sighed shaking his head. "God, they don't learn do they. I didn't want them forcing you."

"You and I both know that only one person has the power to make me do something I don't want to, and that he wasn't there." Uryu shifted, then snapped the cuffs, shaking them off. "How's he?"

"Oh, you would know if you visited more often." Kyoraku teased, probably parroting something he had heard before. Uryu shook his head.

"I had to be sure the Quincy would thrive without me."

"And the treaty going through certainty helped, did it not?" Kyoraku winked, and Uryu smiled, knowing that Kyoraku knew the real reason he had waited that long.

"Uryu!" There was a pause, and Uryu glanced behind him. He had forgotten about the children, their hundred years terrified of the sight in front of them. After all, it wasn't often that the Soul King came down from his post. Ichigo Kurosaki had a job to do after all. "There you are. Hiding from us like that."

Ichigo slung an arm around Uryu's shoulders, and Uryu huffed a sigh, rolling his eyes. "You know exactly where I was."

"Doesn't mean it wasn't nice not to visit once in awhile. Orihime misses her sewing buddy, and Chad's been wanting to talk to you for awhile now."

"I'm sure they were the only ones who missed me." Uryu sent a look at Ichigo through the corner of his eye, and was pleased at just how quickly he could still get the Soul King to go bright red.

"Yeah, yeah... Anyways, thanks Kyoraku, for bringing him in for me. Have a good one, alright?" There was a look that passed between them, and Uryu smiled, content in the knowledge that Ichigo also knew of the man's impending death.

And they were off, Ichigo tugging him along but his hand, and Uryu going along completely willingly. They got away from the rest of the Soul Society pretty easily, Ichigo dragging him into the Royal Realm.

No one was around at first, and that was a blessing, as Ichigo pinned him up to the wall, kissing him hungrily. Uryu didn't blame him, tangling his hands in Ichigo's hair, messing it futher. It had been a few thousand years since they had seen each other in person. Near Omniscience on both their parts wasn't nearly as amazing as being able to feel each other's skin physically again.

"I missed you." Ichigo muttered into his mouth, pulling away just enough to be able to. "Knew how important this was to you, but I was getting impatient... Wanted you back."

"It's alright." Uryu smiled, pulling back a bit further, shifting his hands to cup Ichigo's face, grinning. "I did it. I managed his dream, and that's all I needed to do."

Ichigo grinned at him, and dragged him closer to kiss him again. Uryu went willingly, clinging onto him.

"Oi, you two! Stop swallowing each other whole and get over here! You can get reacquainted later!" Rukia's voice rang out, and Uryu huffed, pulling away, shaking his head, but grinning. Ichigo grinned back, carefully fixing Uryu's hair but not bothering with his own.

"This is kind of what you get for being gone so long. We've all missed you."

"I know." Uryu turned his head, looking out at his collected friends, the children that he knew of, knew about, but didn't know more than they knew him from anything other than stories. "I'm happy to be back though."

"We're all glad to have you back. C'mon." Ichigo pulled back, taking his hand. Uryu smiled slightly, and followed him willingly, mission completed, back to family. Back to home.

[mechanicalinertia]

STMPD Recommends Bubblegum Crisis Fanfiction: NGTM-R's Night Life

"Because when your leader has had her brain altered by outside forces, eventually someone must ask the awkward question: What exactly did it do to her?"

Night Life is incomplete; Night Life came into the world of BGC a decade or two too late; Night Life could be read as cop-aganda if you're feeling frisky; Night Life is more about an OC than it is the Sabers at least in its first half. Night Life is a masterpiece.

Let me clarify: Night Life is a masterpiece because, in its initial snippets, and then in longer, more roomier chapters, it makes us feel for the AD Police who aren't Leon and Daley. Which is... a tricky prospect. The ADP exist to die and make the Sabers look cool in the original series, essentially the Gotham PD but in Megatokyo. Leon's cool but he's also kind of a goofball (he has the voice of Ataru Moroboshi, seriously), less Cobra and more Beverly Hills Cop.

And then real-life context sinks in. America lived through Ferguson, and it lived through George Floyd. Nothing's changed, of course. Public perception of whether or not the police are meant to help us have polarized. Legally, the cops have no duty to protect civilians.

I say this mostly to brush it aside, because Night Life makes us give a shit about the AD Police. The perspective we follow is that of one of the first K-Suit operators, a man who is very, very good at his job - but that doesn't make a lick of difference. People keep dying, K-suit operators who do the best they can but can't stand against military-grade Boomers the way the Sabers can. We see all this, the resigned frustration, the silent admiration of the Sabers, and it - it makes you see the ADP in a unique way. Here's a quote from Chapter 3:

"And of course they'd have a revolt. They'd always have a revolt. They were the AD Police. They served a very important role, critical to public safety, and they were forced to do it very badly by those in charge. Always halfway between a group never meant to win and the knowledge that they were an elite, between total collapse and the highest morale."

Damn. That's good shit.

The plot progresses, though. A massive fire started by natural-gas storage engulfs the city. Our boy, K-11-2 (no name, not yet, just the way he thinks of himself for now), manages to save Linna, of all people. He retires after they bring in shittier suits, the kind he's been begging the department not to use. Kate Madigan offers him a job, he politely declines, GENOM spins it as the ADP losing an officer in a bad way. He joins a USSD strike team. Does a good job. Things get more and more interesting.

Linna, though... Linna's getting bitter. Three years on and this strike team is outperforming the Sabers. There are so many good lines in the fic, especially from Linna. Here's one:

"We're losing, aren't we? They're close to having rebuilt all the towers. Quincy apparently wasn't killed. And those things weren't even our work."

Yes, the dialogue is simple, but what it conveys is this sense of hope and despair at the same time. It's pragmatic. Nastily so. Linna pops the question to Priss: If Sylia's brain is hardwired to get rid of GENOM, what happens if she's not the one who wins? If the USSD has made destroying the megacorporation a possibility, what happens after Quincy gets pitched out a window? The fic ends on that. And that's a hell of an ending.

So... yeah. I'm dubious that the USSD could be an unalloyed good, here, not in bed with GENOM themselves, but if you let that slide you've got one of the greatest BGC fics out there. One that pivots effortlessly from an ADP story to a new kind of story, a real character-driven adventure that asks hard questions about the dynamic between the Sabers and the rest of the world, and gives Linna, ever-neglected Linna, so much beautiful room to breathe.

I just wish it had continued, you know? What a pity.

I guess the real question is what's my next anti-rec...

[recurring-polynya]

Your thoughts and headcannons on Nemuri Hachigou because I don't think she gets talked about enough, when in reality she's pretty interesting, she's essentially, a blank slate, Mayuri's second chance that I don't think he feels like he deserves. She's Nemu but she isn't and I think people(especially Mayuri) forget that a lot, that's a fascinating position to be in.

Puttin’ this under a cut because I’m gonna say some unkind things about Mayuri and I do not want to cause any distress to the many lovely people on this website who delight in his horrible antics.

This is not so much a headcanon so much as a thing I came up with for fanfiction purposes, but it’s all I got.

Right. So, like I said, I despise Mayuri. I just hate him. I understand that he appeals to some people, but I strongly dislike the dude and go to exorbitant lengths to avoid him ever appearing in my fanfic.

Additionally, I do not vibe with Nemu 7. She registers as not-a-person for me, she’s basically an extension of Mayuri himself. Don’t get me wrong, I find Mayuri’s treatment of her to be vile and I wish someone would take her away from him, but she comes off as very robotic to me. She is conscious, but she is not an independent being, if that makes sense. She is not a real girl. It’s funny that Mayuri keeps talking about how advanced she is, because clearly he means only her cognitive and fighting abilities. In terms of recreating a person, she’s incredibly primitive compared to the other mod souls we see. Take Kon, for example, who has a fairly limited powerset, but is never presented as less of a soul than any of the other characters. An even more interesting example is Ururu and Jinta. Ururu is described as being older than Jinta, and she is clearly “less human” than him-- she has less affect, she shifts into a distinct “attack” mode, etc, which implies that Jinta represents advances in mod soul technology. It’s notable that Urahara and Tessai and even Renji, in the canon scene where he protects the Shouten kids, never treats them as anything less than people. The contrast with the way Mayuri treats Nemu is stark. He likes that her feelings and personality are limited, he sees this as a feature.

I was completely unmoved by the entire chapter where Nemu died. Her sacrifice did not come across to me as anything indicating growth or humanity-- in every battle she's ever been in, she nearly dies because Kurotsuchi tells her to. She simply prioritizes Mayuri over herself. She always has. It’s simply the logical extension of her programming. A lot of people say they would have preferred Nemu to live and Mayuri to die and for sure I would have *preferred* that, but I have never seen Nemu as enough of a character to be worth rooting for. Like, at least Uryuu would have gotten some satisfaction form killing his clown ass, and that might have convinced me for at least half a second that he actually was on the side of the Quincy.

Caveat: if some talented fanficcer wants to write a short novel on Nemu discovering her humanity etc etc, I’m all for it, I’m just saying that canon hasn’t given us anything to suggest she would do more than just shut down without Mayuri to tell her what to do.

Onto Nemuri 8. I can’t believe they let Mayuri have another one. It makes my blood boil. The dude is an on-screen abuser and Kubo had the gall to try to make me feel sorry feel him (I did not) and then gave him another one.

So, I took her away from him.

I mentioned earlier that I go to great lengths to keep Mayuri the hell out of my fanfic, and usually the way I do that is to have my characters go through Akon whenever they have to deal with Squad 12. I think I started doing this because Akon is sort of weirdly familiar with Renji and Rukia in the TYBW, but I have projected all over him and he’s mine now. The way I assume Squad 12 functions, based on my career in scientific programming, is that Mayuri is like a primary investigator-- he's the Big Ideas guy and he spends a lot of time doing wholly self-directed research. He’s the face of Squad 12, so he has to go talk to the Captain-Commander and beg for money and defend blowing things up, but when it comes to science stuff, he does what he wants. Nemu is the lieutenant, and I think she handles most of the usual lieutenanting-- paperwork, meetings, etc., but I think Mayuri takes up a lot of her time by using her as a personal lab assistant on his wacky projects. There's nothing wrong with this, but I think in a lot of squads, the lieutenant is responsible for the day-to-day running of the squad and spends a lot of time dealing with their subordinates and other lieutenants. Nemu, instead, focuses on her captain. Now, the rest of the Gotei counts on Squad 12 for a lot actually-- gigai, Hollow tracking, Dangai monitoring, etc. etc. From the point of view of most science people, this stuff is mundane-- it’s all application, not development, and all the difficulty is in the twitchy little details. It’s frustrating and it’s unrewarding and you never get credit for it, and it is vitally important. There is a certain kind of science professional that makes a career out of this. They usually have master's degrees instead of PhDs, and they are usually tragically underpaid and underappreciated for what they do. In the real world, without these people, you wouldn’t have mass vaccination sites or weather data on your phone or cute li’l robots landing on other planets. In Bleach, these are the people keeping soul reapers alive in the field. And in my mind, this is Akon’s department.

So here’s the headcanon:

After Nemu’s death, Mayuri has so much sad clown pain about it that he wants another robot child poste-haste, but can’t bring himself to do the actual work, so he shoves it off onto Akon, with a list of the design specs he wants. The last one was pretty good, Akon can handle a few minor upgrades, it doesn’t need his personal hand in it. Thinking about going through all that work again just pisses him off, honestly. What a waste!

And Akon's like, yeah, cool, fine. It was heavily implied that he did a lot of the work on Nemu 7, it's just a matter of digging out his old notes and cleaning out some vats.

Except that, right around the same time, Rukia and Renji decide to have a baby.

Babies are super rare in the Gotei, and it’s not like those stuffy nobles are gonna let Akon look at their precious offspring. But Rukia is a rank weirdo, and Akon is their pal, so she’s always like “I hear they have these things in the Living World where you can pee on a stick and tell if you’re pregnant, can you make me one?” and Akon’s brain goes, “Wow, what even is the first detectable sign of a newly formed soul, this is very interesting.” So, at the same time he’s trying to grow a new and improved Nemu, he’s got access to the developing fetus of two captain-class shinigami. So when he has to pick between eight good candidate embryos to move to the next vat, he picks… not the one with the strongest reiatsu signature, like they did last time, but the one whose reiatsu looks the most like a real baby.

Akon reminds me of a lot of programmers I know, so I always sort of headcanon him as particularly interested in whatever passes for programming in Squad 12, and I think he takes special interest in revamping Nemu’s artificial intelligence system, which is primarily based on taking in information about the world and building up a realistic personality based on people she observes. In particular, it gives extra weight to “people who resemble her”. Nemu 7 was raised by Squad 12, so she came up very Squad 12, just like Mayuri wanted. Unfortunately, toddler Hachigou Nemuri’s algorithm unexpectedly decides that she has much more in common with toddler Abarai Ichika than any of the adult soul reapers around her.

Nemuri 8 is a very successful sample in terms of power and intelligence but she’s also very boisterous, and the rest of Squad 12 is like “Akon do something” so Akon takes drastic measures: he asks Renji for parenting advice. Distressingly, Renji is full of useful ideas like “tire her out” and “only fight the important battles” and “we’re signed up for baby yoga, you wanna start comin’ to baby yoga? Your back is gonna thank you.”

Akon didn't mean to let them hang out so much, but Ichika is a very useful data point and also if he takes Nemuri over to the Abarai house, the girls will entertain themselves (i.e. chew on each other) long enough for him to have a beer with Renji and Rukia and honestly my man really needs that beer.

I don’t think Akon thinks of himself as Nemu’s dad past the first time when she calls him ‘Daddy’ and he corrects her (she only did it because that’s what Ichika calls Renji, very predictable quirk of her programming). She’s just a work project. She’s not even his project, she’s Mayuri’s project, he’s just handling the little details. Fathering just happens to be an adjacent field of study that he’s found to contain a number of very useful best practices.

I would prefer not to get into the detail of the physical abuse that Mayuri uses against Nemu 7, but I would like to think that Akon finds ways to protect Nemuri 8 from the same, or barring that, maybe this is what finally drives Akon to murder Kurotsuchi and become Squad 12 captain himself.

Other Nemuri Headcanons:

Her favorite book is Rejection of the Twin Fishes!, Captain Ukitake’s posthumously published children’s book.

She prefers to be called “Nemuri” over “Nemu.”

Nemuri’s second favorite person in Squad 12 after Akon is Rin, because he always has candy. Rin actually likes having someone to share his hobby with and helps her make a World of the Living Snack Bucket List. When other shinigami come in for gigai, Nemuri constantly tries to con them into bringing something back for her.

Rukia teaches her to cuss, but tells her never to do it around Akon. Nemuri never actually cusses around anyone, but really enjoys having Forbidden Knowledge.

Speaking of Forbidden, she is mildly obsessed with Urahara, even though she’s never met him. She’s constantly on the lookout for thumbprints of his work in modern Squad 12 technology.

The one thing she does have in common with Mayuri is an absolutely batshit personal aesthetic. She starts painting her face as a tween and is somewhat inconveniently both into piercings and inflatable outfits.

The true proof that she has surpassed her predecessor, at least in terms of humanity, is that she is able to learn the name of her zanpakutou.

Oh, if you want to read any of my fanfics with Nemuri, here's one where she and Ichika play football and here's one where she tries to con Byakuya into buying her shaved ice. I really like writing Nemuri hanging out with Byakuya because I think an adult man who navigates social settings via rigid system of etiquette and class hierarchy and a small child with a pile of Markov chains for a brain would be natural friends.

[chrys-is-back]

Act I: The Journey Begins (pt.2)

Quincy went quiet. The weight he burdened from the knowledge of the question Chrys brought up, although he knew it would come eventually, was still something he wasn’t quite yet prepared to answer. His previous smile was now a little dimmer as he nervously rubbed the back of his neck, but seeing Chrys so intently staring him down from not too far away, he was quick to then let out a small chuckle, albeit an awkward one, to try and keep the tone of the room lightened.

“Chrys, I-er...” he hesitated, gulping once as he let his gaze wander about to avoid seeing her face, but Chrys was quick to lean back into view curiously wondering what had him so choked up all of a sudden. Despite everything she had been through that led up to where she was now, there was a spark of innocence in those eyes still; she held a look of hopefulness, for as long as she could form her own comprehensive thoughts and actions Chrys made it her ultimate goal in life to find her parents.

“Quincy.” She finally spoke up which snapped him out of his trance of thought. “I know why you’re nervous.” She said while looking down a bit. This statement scaring the Lurantis more than she could imagine. Did he make it so obvious? Was he about to crush the closest thing he could call a daughter’s heart without even saying a single word.

“Chrys--” He went to start, but the Lilleena only shook her head, quick to cut him off with her own finished thought.

“If you don’t know anything you don’t have to feel bad about it~!” She suddenly said which froze Quincy in place. He had jumped the gun a bit, the reality of the situation was she thought he was as in the dark about them as she was? A wave of relief washed over him as his entire posture relaxed with a small sigh even escaping his nostrils through a heavy exhale. “I mean, you have to at LEAST know their faces though, are you make me believe that my sister and I showed up in that fantasy tale of the baby left in the rain on the porch in a basket?...In fact my sister was at least old enough to walk on her own! So no way that’s the case, they HAD to have left us...for a reason I swear I’ll find out!”

Quincy gave a solemn smile at that last bit

“So can you at LEAST tell me what they looked like? Were they pretty? Were they tall or short?...Me and Sylph are both mixbreeds of two female species, how is that even possible? -GASP-...were they MAGICAL?”

Quincy was silent again, his gaze going upward to the left for a moment to recollect some details about these mysterious parents before finally returning to Chrys’ face as he leaned forward and gave a smirk. “Well---look...I think you’re old enough now to know about them, are you ready Chrys? I’ll tell you all I know about them and I assure you.” He’d wink at her. “I know a lot more than you think so I think today you’ll be quite more informed about them than you’ve ever been.”

And that was all it took to get Chrys beaming excitedly again as her eyes widened, pupils dilating and even somehow getting sparkles in them that were bright enough to possible even let out a dazzle gleam attack in Quincy’s direction. “TELL ME TELL ME TELL ME TELL ME TELL ME TELL ME TELL ME!!!” She chanted while practically bouncing in her seat getting a nervous chuckle from Quincy who wondered what he had just awoken inside the hyperactive little sprout she was.

“Okay, okay, okay! Hahah, settle down and let me think, okay? It’s been a while. I’m not elderly yet, but I am getting older so you gotta let me refresh myself a bit.” He rubbed the back of one of his claws on his cheek as he thought to himself again for a moment. “Let’s see...you’re right about one thing. Your mom--is actually your moms. A Lilligant and a Tsareena, two commonly known predominantly female species that you and Sylph originate from. As for what they looked like? Hmm...well in the best way I could put it, the Tsareena was much more like your sister Sylph.” “So she was pretty?!”

“Ehehe, yes, she was very pretty. I mean that more in the sense of...she was stern and more like Sylph in the sense that she took her duties around the kingdom seriously, in fact!, Coincidentally she too was very close to the queen like how Sylph is.”

“Really? Why?”

“Well...Darina’s kingdom is pretty big on mix breeds existing I’m sure you already know, but Darina’s not a cruel queen, some Kingdom’s are strict on enforcing their biases to mix species and purebreds, but Darina is nice enough to accept purebreds like even me into her kingdom so long as we can prove we pose no threat and that’s how I got to be here as long as I have and that is also how your mothers got to be here as well, but specifically your Tsareena mother was very grateful to the queen for what she permitted them to do so a lot of her work was volunteer based to help the knights, the denizens, anyone she could to show her loyalty and usefulness.”

“That certainly does sound like Sylph.” Chrys would passively comment with an eye roll which warranted Percy to reach a claw out and platfully push down on her head.

“Yeah well...go easy on your sister, okay? I know it may not seem like it, but I assure you she only does everything she does for you and even if she seems high-strung on the Queen, it’s only because it’s her job to be where as in the end of it all, she’d still put your life above hers, but don’t go saying that everywhere okay? Avoid getting you both in trouble, yeah?”

“I guess..I just wish she would be given more time to be with me is all...wait, but this was all about the Tsareena mom and how she was like Sylph, does that mean-”

“Yes, yes it does. The Lilligant mom was more like you. A free spirit. Now granted, it’s not like she too wasn’t in an eternal gratitude to the Queen for her permiitance to be in this kingdom, but she merely desired a nice life with your other mom which-” “Is kinda like how I want to spend so much time with my big sister!” “Exactly~! BUUUUUUUT, you may also like to hear that she was frequently getting in trouble just as you do for exploring where she shouldn’t be--or, rather, exploring places that she shouldn’t in the sense of it posing a danger to herself. I used to always say you got it from your mother, I suppose now you get to find out what that means, huh?”

There was a big grin on Chrys’ face upon hearing that. Her eyes even began to water a little showing beginning signs of tears welling up as all she could imagine was her mom and her out and about on “adventures” that Chrys tended to go on spontaneously, but these weren’t sad tears, in fact her smile persisted even as she had to quickly close her eyes and wipe her arm on them to rid herself of the tears before they could fall. She felt proud that she could turn out like her mom and to that same extent Sylph turning out like them too. Quickly letting out a giggle to stop Quincy from Worrying, she kicked her feet again while leaning forward with a beaming, ear to ear grin on her face. “So apples didn’t fall too far from the tree then, huh~?”

“Certainly not, Chrysanthemum. And I’m sure if they turned up again some day they’d be just as happy to see that for themselves too.” The Lurantis would reply 

“But I have one more question, Uncle Q.”

“Hmm?”

“How---exactly did two females make Sylph and I?”

“Uhhhhh--”

“If it’s embarrassing or inappropriate leave me out of the loop!”

“No no, it’s none of that--uhm...hmm...it had to do with this special place--”

“IF IT’S EMBARRASSING OR INAPPROPRIATE PLEASE LEAVE ME OUT OF THE LOOP.”

“Not that kind of special place!!! I meant it more like--there was a place in a foreign land they traveled to. It was known something like...Khabadallah’s crescent? Yeah that was it! Khabadallah’s Crescent.”

“What the hey is that?”

“It’s a unique island..from what they explained to me the first time they went there which resulted in Sylph...it’s a crescent shaped island that was once inhabited by a Xerneas who resides there as a giant world-like tree.”

“Like the baby Xern...” Chrys whispered with those sparkles in her eyes again.

“Now how did this result in you and Sylph happening? Well it’s said that a lot of couples who know of the place tend to go out to it because the tree that the Xerneas resides as has blessed the island with the Xerneas’ life creating essences and energies so even the most unlikely of couples to produce kids can pray to the tree and so far with a one-hundred percent success rate find themselves able to bear the child of the partner who’s child they wish to bear. Obviously---the details weren’t disclosed to me, but I think it’s safe to say that when they went there they got all they had hoped for with Sylph and then later on again with you.”

Chrys pondered that for a moment. “So they went back twice, the first for Sylph and the second for me...”

Quincy nodded “Yes.”

“And if they wanted another child...they would go back again right?”

“That would make sense yes.”

“So--if I find this Crescent then surely that means I would be able to find my moms!”

“Er---well..maybe not it’s kinda been a long time n-”

“THANKS QUINCY, YOU JUST GAVE ME THE BIGGEST LEAD I’VE EVER HAD!!” The Lilleena would call over her shoulder as she had then quickly sprang up and was sprinting out of the shop.

A sense of dread coming back to the Lurantis again as he knows that when Chrys has a goal in mind there is almost nothing that will stop her from pursuing it. Reaching the entrance to his orphanage he could see she was already yards ahead of him on another mad dash leaving chaos in her wake, the last thing being heard from her being

“THE NEXT ADVENTURE BEGINS~!”

with Quincy only slumping over in the door way asking himself, “What did I do...?”

[kurosakikai]

. xx1 . Urahara's Return

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As promised, tagging one @mysteriousshopkeeper with the finished result!

There are few things that stop or startle an ageless, nigh-immortal former spy-turned shopkeeper.

The sight before him is one of them. He’d merely intended on visiting Ichigo-kun, see how he was doing, only to be startled by the sight of eyes so green and so vivid that his mind immediately thinks to Kaien himself.

A single blink, and the overlaying visage returns to that of a young little boy, his head tilted in question.

“...” Someone should have warned him. Kisuke should have known, especially, what he was getting himself into, and he has to take a few shallow breaths, shaking a little inside. They say nothing, the two sizing one another up, before the boy unbends enough to offer him a small, shy smile.

It’s like getting slugged in the face a second time, that soft expression bringing him sharply back to sweeter days, to memories of thrown flour and laughter, joyful expressions of happiness and sunshine promises, and Kisuke barely snaps out of it in time to see the flicker of confusion, and hurt, that covers the little boy’s face.

“I… Sorry, sorry,” Kisuke apologizes with a rub against the back of his head, kneeling down so the youth can see him better. “It’s okay little guy, really. It’s just… been a long time since I saw your dad - I didn’t even know he had a kid.” The child relaxes a little, tiny, clutching fingers loosening from the bottom of his shirt. “What’s your name?”

“Papa calls me Kai - but Momma calls me Kaien, sometimes.” Intelligent blue-green watch him, the little boy still a little tense and anxious, but slowly relaxing.

Meanwhile, Kisuke wondered what cruel trick of fate had left this boy with such a name that would evoke such strong memories of the man he’d bonded with, in another life.

“... I can see why...” Kisuke allowed himself to be led by the little boy to take his shoes off, but the pursuit of making a guest comfortable has been waylaid by the quest for knowledge, which was truly adorable on such a young face.

“Really?” The boy looks hopeful, tugs upon a hand gently. “Can you tell me who he is?” Kisuke carefully tucks his geta away - the scolding Ichigo had given him for scraping the floor of his clinic was not a lesson he was willing to put up with more than once - before considering his answer.

“He was your dad’s second cousin,” Kisuke says dutifully, slipping on the house slippers his little host had brought for him - in a rather fetching green color, he might add. “I suppose that would make him your...” Pausing, Kisuke took a moment to count on his fingers. Family trees were always so complicated. Give him a genome sequence and he could tell you if people were related, but the genealogy charts never failed to send him in a tizzy.

Tch.

“Ah-ha!” He says, triumphant. “Second cousin once-removed.” Pleased, Kisuke nods to himself. “Your mother was very fond of him.” Sometimes, Kisuke thinks she might have been in love with him. Of course, that was not a thing said to a little boy who looked like Kaien so much it could physically hurt him.

Tiny fingers find their way into his hakama, and startled, he looks down. “Was he nice?” The boy asks, childish curiosity written all over his face as he gently tugs on the fabric in his hands. “Did he like riceballs like me? Oooh, did you know him?”

Kisuke had forgotten - with Jinta and Ururu now adults and off to their own life - how persistent, how curious, children could be. Paired with those eyes, and that coal-dark head, Kisuke allowed himself to soften a little.

“Oh yes, very well in fact. I was actually quite fond of him myself, you know.” Looking the boy over, he adds with a smile, “You actually bear quite the stunning resemblance to him, I must admit.”

The boy’s eyes - already impossibly coinlike and round - widen even further. “Can you tell me about him? Daddy doesn’t know him, and Momma just gives me bunches of chores to do when I ask.” Those big… green… eyes…

Good grief. He clearly needed to work on his resistance to puppy-dog eyes if he was contemplating standing there the whole time rather than taking a comfortable seat! A little pang reminds him that he has no children at home to aid him in his endeavor.

With a sigh, Kisuke says, “Mind if I sit down?” It’s actually rather cute, to watch as the boy goes from intent curiosity to embarrassed realization at the knowledge that he’d been interrogating him in the entryway, a hot pink blush dusting his ears and the boy lets go of his hakama to take his hand instead, sheepishly guiding him towards the comfiest seat in the room.

Kisuke should know. He used to have that very armchair in his house before Ichigo had absconded with it as payment. (He really should take it home with him, just to be petty.)

“Sorry,” the boy mumbles, looking a little embarrassed as he seats his guest. “Don’t tell Papa, but I sometimes sleep here at night. So what’s your name? I’ve seen your picture, but every time I ask, Papa calls you Hat-n-Clogs and Momma calls you Basketcase.”

Kisuke snorts violently. If he wasn’t so amused, he’d almost be offended.

“I’ve answered to both of those names often enough,” Kisuke says, tone wryly amused. “But if it pleases you, feel free to call me Urahara-san.” No matter his behavior and his… stunning looks… this little one was still a child, and barely knew him aside. No matter how much he resembled Kaien…

Shaking his head, he refocuses on his very young host, who is fussing around him to ensure he - and Benehime (how thoughtful!) - are nice and comfortable before he climbs up to an armrest.

“Okay Urahara-san!” The boy is very amiable, and quite obviously happy to know his name at last. “Do you want some tea?” the boy asks, eyes wide. “Momma always says good tea means happy visitors.” He’s obviously trying to be polite, and Kisuke smiles, charmed.

“If you’d please,” he says with a little chuckle, offers his hand to allow the small boy to climb down safely. “Of course, your mother did always have the better manners, out of the two of your parents.” Shaking his head with a chuckle, he continues. “If you can, I’d love a cup of green tea with honey, if you’re offering. How old are you, Kaien - ah, Kai?” He immediately corrects himself, and feels a flash of guilt at the sight of hurt in those green eyes.

Dammit.

“Kaien’s okay, Urahara-san,” the boy says, the hurt vanishing into the ether as though he’d never experienced it. But Kisuke had been a spy and had made a living being able to read people. The mistakenly given name was not something the boy was unused to, and he bites his lip, upset that Kai would take such dismissal of himself so lightly. Firmly secure on the floor, the boy adds, “I hear it often enough from Momma when she thinks Papa or I aren’t able to hear her.”

Kisuke’s heart breaks a little.

The boy trots off towards the kitchen door, peering over and beaming. “Yay! Momma and Papa left the tea set somewhere I can reach, so I can make you tea!” The boy refocuses on him after a moment, beaming as he adds, “and I’m seven! But, like, an old seven,” he says, making Kisuke’s lips twitch upwards at the innocent, joyfully cute way he said such a thing. Trotting off, Kai goes after his targets.

He can see how the boy assembles his tea set, fetches the finest green tea in the tea cabinet, and gets the candles.

And of course, the honey.

While watching, Kisuke allows his mind to wander. He’s… well, he’s not sure how he would have taken the situation even forearmed, he thinks. Of course, with Ichigo being a Shiba, he’d resemble Isshin’s side of the family no matter what, and with Rukia having such dark hair, well, genetic dominance was certainly a factor.

But those eyes… Silently, he considers. What did happen to souls that passed on? Obviously, human souls reincarnated. That was merely the way of the world, but he’d never known for a pure soul to reincarnate into the human world. That was far more unusual.

Of course, Kaien’s soul had been through quite the conga line, having been hollowfied, reformed into an Arrancar, sent to Hell, and then purified again.

Not to mention the unique physiology of both parents. Ichigo, of course, had his feet in both camps, a son of Quincy and Human on one side, and a son of a Soul on the other, no matter his choice of living full-time in the human world.

Putting that aside, Kisuke allows for a rare moment of pride.

Damn his gigai were fucking good - this was proving to be the second generation capable of reproduction, Ichigo being the prime example of the first.

Of course, that made other questions come to mind, though he sets it aside when his young host finally approaches, setting the tea down with a bubbly smile and childishly overeager hand gesticulations that are a truly uncanny reminder of Kaien himself.

Tuning into the boy’s words, he cannot suppress a smile at the realization that the boy is telling him all about his first attempt of making tea all by himself - he understands the pride a child feels at such an act - and all of the silly shenanigans that had come from that.

He could see their reactions now - Rukia, with a hand over her mouth to hide her embarrassed smile, and Ichigo, laughing himself silly at his son’s childish whimsy.

“... Momma tried to pretend she couldn’t hear the teacup crashing, even though it landed right next to her foot!” The boy rambles, a freshly prepared cup of green tea and honey in hand as he shyly - and a little clumsily - climbed up to the armrest, presenting his tea with the same pride Ururu had, so long ago. “I hope you like the tea,” the boy says shyly, suddenly nervous. “I don’t normally get to make tea for guests.”

Kisuke takes the tea, smiling warmly all the while, even as his mind races. That storytelling, the way he gestured as he told his little tale… it’s almost uncanny, and not for the first time, Kisuke wonders which parent was responsible for Kai’s name.

Of course, a little pang strikes at his heart - he can almost see Ururu there, the little girl he had raised so proudly displaying her first cup of tea for him that she’d made on her own - and he mourns, yet again, having an empty home.

Things simply weren’t the same without a child around to liven things up.

Graciously, Kisuke takes a careful sip, smiling the whole while. He’d not expected it to be very good, but to his great surprise… It's quite decent, for a child his age. This blend has a bit of ginseng in it, he notes, and the inexpert - though lovingly done - cup has just the faintest hint. It’s a little sharper than he prefers, but he dutifully drinks it all the same, so as to allow the little one his joy.

“You did an excellent job,” Kisuke praises, watching Kai beam enthusiastically at his praise. “I’m honored that you found me worthy of such good tea-making skills,” he adds, eyes crinkling with amusement.

Green watches him avidly, before their owner beams, a full megawatt smile so similar to Kaien’s effusions of praise as the boy curls up on the armrest like a small kitten.

Perhaps he should bring Yoruichi around, just for a little bit. It’d be fun, he thinks, to see how the boy treated her.

“Really?” The boy knocks him out of his fond musings, Kai looking delighted. A tiny hand adjusts his hat, and he allows the boy to do so, surprised he simply didn’t take the hat off entirely, merely readjusted it. He’s grateful, however, that the boy didn’t remove it in its entirety. “I’ve practiced lots and lots when Auntie Yuzu’s visiting, but I’m not as good as Momma or Papa yet,” the boy sighs, despondent. “They’re real tea makers.” Kisuke’s lips twitch up into a smile at the wistfulness.

“Well, they are older than you,” Kisuke says, wondering if his words were true, or an unintended falsehood.

Which brings him back to Kai’s curious question from earlier. Leaning back, he suppresses an amused smile as he continues on, “You do remind me of Kaien very much. We were in the military together, for a time. I was a Captain, and he was a Lieutenant - He would have made Lieutenant straight out of the academy if he hadn’t been so determined to not be.” Chuckling, Kisuke remembers how often Kaien had turned down Ukitake-taichou, fondly indulgent.

“We met at a party, of course, and became best of friends during them. He was quite the joker - I never knew if I would need to stop drinking my tea because he would deliver the perfect punchline at the worst personal timing for me, or if he’d taunt me into a drinking game.” Grinning, Kisuke adds fondly, “And he was always waving his hands around - sometimes, he forgot he was holding things, and he stained so many uniforms,” Kisuke says, chuckling. “Of course, Captains wore white, so I was always such a tempting target. People would take one look at me and go ‘ah, you were with Kaien-kun again’.”

Kai giggles shyly, hands pressed against his mouth. The boy clearly admired him, and knowing his upbringing, he probably thought the military to be a very respectable job. Kisuke was looking forward to tarnishing that reputation.

“You didn’t invent on the spot cleaner?” The boy asks curiously, and Kisuke takes in his small host as he speaks. “Papa said you make lots of neat inventions,” Kai says, and Kisuke smiles, amused and fond as the boy adds, “Couldn’t you have done something to keep your coat from getting dirty?”

Ah. A quick glance shows the house is spotless. He hadn’t taken Ichigo as the type to be a neat-freak, but he supposed being a parent would change such priorities in life.

He nearly spits out his tea however, when his mind catches up to the boy’s words, swallowing hastily so he can answer his young guest. Certainly, he could have, but he was often in the pursuit of science - a few measly messes was but a small price to pay for his experiments.

“I think it’s only fair to admit that I didn’t really keep the uniform clean,” Kisuke says with a smile. “You see, clothes were not very important to me compared to my work. I’m sure given time, I could have invented such a cleaner, but truthfully, I spent far more time in my lab making messes than I ever did cleaning them up.”

Oh. Whoops. He was probably confusing the poor child - the idea of the military was a rather strict one, but the moment he chose to tell a tale weeeeeell… he always did enjoy teasing children, and watching them try to figure out what was true or not was always so much fun.

Kisuke wondered if that was a little mean.

Kai is frowning a little, looking thoughtful. “How did people know you were near Kaien then? If being messy was your usual look, how was anyone supposed to know when you were messier because of him?” The boy looks at him, all wide-eyed, eager innocence. “Besides, Papa said you have kids. Wouldn’t you have invented a cleaner by then?”

Kisuke can already see it - as the inheritor of Kaien, poor Kai probably attracted dirt like a magnet, even if he did nothing more special than homework.

Amused, he listens on.

“Did he make special stains or something?” Kai sounds deadly serious, and he’s glad he’d finished his cup of tea. Spitting it out would have been funny, but incurably rude. Chuckling, Kisuke reaches out to ruffle dark hair.

“I was only referring to parties, Kai-kun,” Kisuke managed with nary a trembling lip to show his amusement beyond a chuckle. “I did at least try to arrive to meetings in a clean -” Kisuke clears his throat rather than allow the words to leap from his lips. “... Uniform.” Damn. He’d almost said haori - despite how long it had been. “Kaien and I were in different divisions, you see, so we rarely saw each other on duty. When off-duty, we wore uniforms at the get-togethers.” Here he winks. “That’s when people realized that we were spending time together. But when we were out on our own...”

Quickly, Kisuke glances at his small host. The boy’s eyes are shining with interest, and he gives the boy a little smile.

It was rather obvious that Kai was living a rather sheltered life, if he didn’t know what his parents truly did on the side.

“Mmm… when we were out on our own, we’d wear whatever we liked.” There. That was simple enough. Kai was only seven, after all. He didn’t need the whole kit and caboodle. “I didn’t have children until much, much later.”

The boy wiggles a little in his seat, visibly pouting, and Kisuke can’t help the amused smile as it grows on his face.

“Oh.” The disappointment is palpable, but the boy rallies fiercely, to Kisuke’s amusement. “Did you like wearing the uniform? How often did you get to see Kaien? Do parties happen often for you guys?” The boy bounces a little in his seat, eager. “Papa says you invented things for a living, so did you get to meet people more often than other Captains and learn all sorts of things, right?” At the puppy-like radiance, Kisuke leans back, just a smidge.

My. It seemed that a certain pair of someones certainly didn’t talk about the Gotei, with these rapid-fire questions. In fact, there was a certain… lack of noble graces that he was quite surprised about - he’d have thought Rukia would have drilled manners into her little boy.

Though, looking at Kai, he had quite the niggling suspicion as to why the boy was so graceless. If so, there were words to be had with Miss Kuchiki.

But for now, he supposed a little mischief was in order. It’s been a while since he’d had such a young audience. “Well, I can’t say I ever cared very much for the uniform. To me, it was just a place where I worked. But Kaien… he took such pride in his work, and he was excellent at it. He took it so seriously that often, he didn’t have much free time, but when he did, he loved to have fun and go to parties.” A sly grin crosses his face. This outta be good. “It’s true, of course, that I was - and still am - an inventor. But that wasn’t how I got to know all sorts of things.”

Kisuke leans in, and his young host does as well, eyes wide.

“Before I became a captain, I was a prison guard. And a spy.”

Kai blinks. Once. Twice. Then, his round eyes gleam like Yoruichi spying unattended fish on a counter. A little gasp, and Kisuke knew he had the little one hooked. The boy takes his tea cup, brimming with questions.

“Really? What was it like? Were people in the prison interesting? Did you meet Kaien being a super-sneaky spy? Where did you travel?” He’s a fount of questions, even as his good manners insist upon refreshing his tea, to which Urahara accepts with a little chuckle and nod of thanks to the little boy. Kai quickly clambers back up, and he smiles down at the boy. He was quite the little extrovert, wasn’t he?

At this point, the parallels were simply… uncanny.

“Oh, I travelled all over the countryside, hunting down deserters, mostly. Of course, a good spy never works alone, when you’re going after capturing dangerous people,” Kisuke sips at his tea, radiating enjoyment. “Of course, not everyone allowed themselves to survive being captured...” A wicked grin, and Kai gives him an amazed little squeak.

Ah, he missed telling stories so much! Perhaps he ought to babysit more often. Orihime and Ishida’s little ones were about three or so now - they’d likely be glad to have some time for themselves in exchange for him babysitting them.

Plans, plans.

Lowering his tea cup, Kisuke chuckles. “The prisoners were some of the most interesting people I’d ever met, of course, being such dangerous minds,” Kisuke really shouldn’t tease the little boy, but he was a perfect audience, expressive as he was, little squeaks and wide eyes. “But no, I didn’t meet Kaien until I became a captain. Of course, there was always no shortage of places we needed to get in - or out of - in a hurry, places we weren’t supposed to be, and times we weren’t allowed to uh… technically, leave. Being a spy came quite in handy for that,” he says, grinning.

Ichigo was going to hit him with a bucket of soapy water, he could already tell. He was quite the corrupting influence on the youth of today.

Kai lights up, as he should when faced with a fun, relatively light-hearted story.

“Dangerous minds?” The boy wiggles off of the chair to go fetch some tea sweets, offering him one to his amusement. That boy was just like Kaien, trying to stuff people full of food. “Does that mean you had the most dangerous mind of all?” Kai asks, nibbling on his own tea sweet, swallowing, and then continuing on. “So you and Kaien got really good at sneaking? Papa used to say Auntie Kuu would complain lots and lots about him sneaking out of the house at night.”

Looking around, Kai leans in, and amused, Kisuke does the same. “Can you teach me your sneaky-spy skills? Momma and Papa are always super protective. Once I get home, I can’t stick a nose out of the door without them finding out,” he says, drooping.

Kisuke smiles a little, pets the fluffy mop of hair with a gentle encouragement for the boy to eat his sweet. He wasn’t sure, of course, how that part of the conversation had gone… the most dangerous mind of all… Did he really deserve such a title? He suspected it really belonged to another, though he wouldn’t deny he was a strong contender.

“I think, if you asked anyone back then, they would have whole-heartedly agreed and said so,” was the mused statement. “I was accused of a crime, in the end, and had to leave - I gave up being a captain, and then moved here.” A little smile. That had spelled the end of the best of times with Kaien, though his friend had been nothing if not determined to make him smile. “After that, I didn’t get to see Kaien much, though he snuck off to see me as often as he was able. It was always good to see him when he did.”

The two of them sit in somber silence for a moment, before Kisuke perks up. Now, Ichigo was definitely going to smack him one, but oh, the possibilities… “I think it runs in your family,” Kisuke tells the little boy, who perks up at his cheer. “You see, your grandfather snuck off once and got mixed up in the worst sort of trouble. That’s how he met and married your grandmother, you know.” Grinning, he continues, despite knowing Ichigo would most certainly be giving him grief, as well as Rukia. “Of course, I can’t count the number of times I helped your Papa sneak off too. If you’re determined, I’ll teach you when you’re older.”

Oh, now he’d done it. The child had been a little skeptical before, but now he was incredulous, eyeing him with the same hefty skepticism Ichigo had, all those years ago when they first met.

“No way.” The boy lunges forward to hug him, nice and tight, and Kisuke really appreciated his warmth, how generous the boy was - that clearly hadn’t changed between lifetimes. “Are you serious? Papa would never sneak off!” The boy says, and Kisuke smothers a smile, though the boy perks happily at his comforting having helped, clearly. “There’s no way Papa would have snuck off - Momma would be so mad,” he says, wide-eyed.

It was really so funny, to learn what kind of married couple Rukia and Ichigo had become, though he supposed their marriage dynamic was still more or less the same as when they’d simply been friends.

Oh yes, they were going to kill him, but what could he say?

In for a penny, in for a pound.

“Oh? Did I forget? Silly me,” Kisuke says with a grin. “Your mom snuck off too. Got herself in tons of trouble and ran away from home.” Oh yes, Kai was enraptured now, eyes wide as dinner plates as he followed along, increasingly incredulous. “She stayed with your Papa, even. Now, don’t tell your mom I said this, but she hid out in your dad’s closet.”

Oh am I a dead man, Kisuke thinks in amusement. But it was worth it, just to watch his surprise and amazement.

“So, tell you what,” Kisuke says, and Kai’s head swivels towards him. “If we keep this conversation a secret, next time I come by, I’ll teach you some sneaky spy tricks, okay? And maybe a few more stories about Kaien.”

The boy’s practically vibrating, and it’s cute.

“Okay!” he bursts outs, lifting his pinkie up with all of his childish enthusiasm. “Do you want to make a pinky promise with me? Auntie Yuzu showed me how! That way you know for sure I won’t tell anyone!” Kisuke’s heart melts a little bit.

What a cute kid. Chuckling, he allows himself to be coaxed through the ritual, the two hooking their little fingers together and tugging.

Almost unknown, something shifted, an old, worn connection that had frayed with absence lacing together once more. There was simply nothing to it - just like Ichigo, Kisuke would have to keep a weather eye on this precocious child.

Smiling, he allows the boy to hop of the armrest and scurry off to make him yet another cup of tea, an amused, fond indulgence.

(In the depths of his heart, the forged connection of a soul revived glows)

[akaluan]

23 and 33, erich/kisuke, "Adam and Evil"? :D

(art by ser, as usual XD)

(23: One night stand turns serious, 33: Balcony Wooing scene Erich/Kisuke)

Kisuke eyes the slowly lightening sky, then glances over his shoulder at the bed where Erich is casually leaning back against the headboard, a book in one hand and a lit cigarette in the other.

“I thought you were going?” Erich asks as he glances up from his book, his gaze almost a physical sensation as he trailed it down Kisuke’s body. “You certainly got dressed quickly enough.”

“Maa… well…” Kisuke purses his lips and looks away, trying to focus on the town outside instead of on the awkward urge to simply turn back and crawl into bed with Erich once more. “I should… really head out,” he murmurs, trying to convince himself more than anything else; catching feelings certainly wasn’t in his plans when he fell into bed with Erich the night before, both of them jittery with the relief of surviving— of repelling— a full Otherworld Invasion practically on their own.

He’s proven his theory sound, proven that he can indeed predict the waves of monsters from beyond, and now… now he needs to move on. To the next town, the next critical point, the next lonely struggle.

(He has to do something to make up for all the mistakes he’s made in the past, and if this is all he can do, if running from town to town to fight the hoards until he dies is his penance, then he’ll do it.)

(There is no other option.)

Erich hums softly and turns the page in his book. “You don’t have to do everything alone, you know,” he says, voice deliberately casual.

Kisuke hastily bites back a snort at Erich’s words; no matter how willing the man was to both fight at his side and later fall into bed with him, he truly doubts the man means the implicit offer of his words. The Quincy are a bold people, unafraid of living in the wild-lands under constant threat of Otherworld Invasions, but they are also a prideful people, and the idea that a Quincy would permanently ally with a Shinigami is ludicrous.

(Shinigami are the ones who, long ago, drove the Quincy out of safety and into the wild-lands beyond.)

(Nearly every Quincy he’s come across in his travels holds that grudge near and dear to their heart.)

(That Erich hasn’t shot him in the back already is enough of a miracle.)

(He isn’t going to push his luck further.)

“If you think I’m unaware that you’re a Shinigami, then you need to seriously stop and rethink your approach,” Erich tells him with a touch of amusement. “The sword alone is pretty obvious.”

“Ex-Shinigami, thank you,” Kisuke replies, a bit more sharply than he intends, then grimaces at the way Erich’s expression shades towards thoughtful. “Never mind,” he mutters in an awkward attempt to brush it aside. “Stay on your toes. There will probably be another invasion here in a week and a half.”

“A week and a— hey! Kisuke! Get back here and explain!”

Kisuke flinches at the rising anger in Erich’s voice but doesn’t pause. He vaults over the little balcony’s railing and the minute his sandals hit the pavement below, he darts away in a burst of shunpo.

He has other towns to visit, other invasions to thwart.

He can’t let unexpected feelings get in his way.

(Never again.)

(Never.)

\\\

The next time they meet, Kisuke is exhausted and wounded and fighting for his life, and Erich is a deadly storm that sweeps in and shoves the rising tide of monsters back.

Erich is… Erich is beautiful, Kisuke acknowledges numbly; the man’s every move carries intent almost as powerful as the monsters’ own, and he drives them back with furious ease, leaving dead and dying monsters in his wake. Not one manages to slip past him, not towards Kisuke, not towards the town Kisuke was trying to defend, not even towards the plains beyond. The only way they can escape is back through the Otherworld Tear, and with every minute that passes more and more monsters decide to flee back to their own realm, until finally the Tear collapses and a watchful silence settles.

Kisuke swallows as Erich turns towards him, hand clenching tight around the Benihime’s hilt, but he can’t force himself to move. Can’t force himself to run the way he should.

(He’s weary-injured-exhausted and Erich is fresh-powerful-furious and they parted poorly and he— he can’t— Erich will—)

“You foolish man,” Erich says as he closes the distance between them, gaze sharp and hands warm-kind-soft as he begins to assess Kisuke’s wounds. “Sorry,” he murmurs in apology as his fingers catch on a bloodied scrap of fabric and Kisuke chokes back a pained noise. “Come on, let’s get you back to town so I can actually treat these.”

“N-no, it’s fine,” Kisuke forces out while trying to bat Erich’s hands away. “I can take care of it myself, and I have other places to be.” Which is a lie, or at least the part about needing to be elsewhere is; his calculations don’t indicate another Invasion for more than a week, which is fine. He’ll just… find a place to hole up for a while as he heals. Maybe find Tessai to help. He’ll be fine. He will.

Erich narrows his eyes and steps back, arms crossing over his chest, his voice sharp-defensive-wary as he says, “You have five minutes to get out of my sight, then. Otherwise, I’m bringing you back to town with me.”

The breath freezes in Kisuke’s throat as he stares blankly at Erich, uncertain how to take the man’s words. Last time, they’d fallen into bed simply because they’d fought side-by-side and survived, but this time—

This time, Erich had to come to his rescue. This time, Kisuke is at his mercy, has turned down the (maybe honest?) offer for help, and now Erich wants him gone, so he—

Flees.

\\\

Tessai heals him, because of course Tessai does, and then Kisuke immediately flees before he has to listen to any further comments about his (lack of) common sense; Tessai doesn’t know why Kisuke ran four towns over in the state he did, and Kisuke’s not about to tell him about Erich, so it does probably look like a worse decision than it was, but that’s fine.

Tessai’s had opinions about Kisuke’s common sense since they first met, and it hasn’t changed their friendship in the slightest.

Kisuke makes sure to keep an eye out from then on, senses stretched to the limit in order to catch the smallest trace of Erich’s presence, and does his best to stay on the move. He doesn’t know what a third meeting will entail, but he doesn’t want to risk it; with his luck, Erich will simply shoot him on sight without giving him a chance to escape.

Still, he can’t just stop. He’s the reason for the rising tide of invasions: it’s his research, his experiments, his knowledge that Aizen is using to influence the worlds.

And Kisuke just let him have it.

(He should have seen through the man’s tricks, should have been more cautious, more wary, more alert!)

(Instead, he fell right into Aizen’s trap, too blinded by his own hubris to see the jaws closing around him and now—)

(No.)

(He doesn’t have time to wallow.)

(He’ll fix this.)

(He will.)

(…he has to…)

[merakiui]

Twilight and Night Teams Playing Among Us HCs

The 14th Department decides to play Among Us (PART 2). (Part 1 can be found here.)

Twilight Team (Hesperide)

🎮 Cyrille 🎮

He’s the type of player who overanalyzes everything. Oh, the lights went out and Sian’s avatar passed by him? Yep, that’s sus.

He’s actually pretty good at determining who the impostor is. Cyrille keeps an eye out for those who are around him, stowing that information away for when the next dead body is reported.

Cyrille’s a genius, so of course he’d be perfect as a crew mate or the impostor. It doesn’t matter the role; he’s able to adapt flawlessly. 

Though he still manages to fumble with the controls. Dexterity isn’t his speciality, so it took some time to get used to playing. (He accidentally clicked on the vent button instead of sabotage, and Sian caught him.)

When he’s the impostor, he uses the classic “if you didn’t see it, it didn’t happen” excuse. He’s always asking the others for their proof when they’re accusing him.

“If you didn’t see me anywhere near the body, why would it be me? You lack substantial evidence, and because of that you’ll lose. In other words, voting me out would only benefit the impostors.”

He could probably write an entire thesis paper on why he isn’t the impostor. 

Everyone just believes him because they don’t want to hear a rant that delves into the science behind the gameplay, and they’re also just trying to have fun. No one asked for a science lesson. Sorry, Cyrille.

He’s not that good at completing the tasks because the controls confuse him. 

His go-to color is green, and he wears the goggles hat. 

🛠️ Noah 🛠️

Noah’s soft appearance and way of speaking reflects kindness, so there’s just no way he could be the impostor!

He likes to look at things from the perspective of lawful justice. Although it’s a game, Noah’s certain this tactic won’t fail him.

He considers it to be a great way to pass time, and it’s especially fun to play with the manager. Sometimes it can get tedious when he’s stuck as a ghost for an entire round, but other than that Noah likes it.

He’ll stick with the others in groups so no one winds up dead, but if the manager does end up dying he might tease them about it. 

Noah likes playing with Kati, despite the fact that the younger Soul Reaper is always trying to compete with him. He tends to take on the role of an elder brother whenever him and Kati are in the same lobby, and most of the time he’ll lose for the sake of inflating Kati’s ego.

He tends to break up a lot of arguments between Kati and Sian, especially when they bicker over who did what task.

“It’s just a game. There’s no need to fight so much.”

“The phrase ‘it’s just a game’ is such a weak mindset.” - Kati to Noah, probably. Noah just doesn’t understand why everyone gets so riled up. There’s no point in arguing over Among Us. They should use that time to vote out the impostors. 

He’s more athletic, so video games aren’t his style. But Among Us does improve his observation skills, so he doesn’t mind it all that much.

His go-to color is lime, and he wears the police hat.

🎤 Sian 🎤

He blames everyone but himself. Sian is so quick to point fingers and start arguments based on what the others say. 

“You saw me vent? As if! I’m not stupid like you. If you vote me out, you’re all going to lose. Seriously...”

Sometimes he gets a little too into the game, often getting frustrated when he’s voted out all because someone blamed him. 

He likes to check the cameras in hopes that he’ll be able to catch one of the impostors. 

When he’s the impostor, he goes after Quincy the most. It’s for all the times Quincy’s bothered him. Revenge is best served in Among Us. “This’ll teach you for always calling me a whelp!” 

If someone walks in on him after he’s killed a crew mate, he’ll report the body so fast and blame that person.

“It was Kati! I saw him kill Cyrille! You guys have to believe me.”

Sian is 100% salty in the dead chat, but Cyrille’s there as well so it’s not all that bad. 

He probably looks at Among Us memes and tips to win flawlessly as the impostor, and he’ll show them to Cyrille so that the two of them can team up to throw the game.

His go-to color is red, and he wears the backwards cap because he believes it looks cool. 

🍎 Kati 🍎

He’s competing with Noah. It doesn’t matter if they’re in two separate lobbies; he’s still going to consider it a competition.

Kati’s the type of player who chases the others around while pretending to be the impostor.

Definitely trolls, so much so that sometimes he’ll get kicked from the lobby. 

He’s also the one who constantly calls emergency meetings when nothing has begun just so he can accuse others. 

“I saw Noah fake the scan in Med-bay! It’s got to be him. Vote him out!”

He’ll say the most suspicious things, telling the others to watch their backs or else he’ll bite them. It’s a heavy threat when you consider the fact that he actually will bite you in real life. So in-game isn’t all that far off either.

Kati gets a little too trigger-happy when he’s the impostor, forming pacts with the others and then betraying them shortly after. He’d be good at the impostor role if he wasn’t constantly acting so giddy and sus. 

He teams up with Day and the two of them cause trouble together. It’s especially fun when they’re the impostors.

Kati complains in the dead chat once he’s killed, whining about how he’s so certain that it was Noah who sabotaged his chances at winning. 

His go-to color is pink, and he wears the flower pin hat.

Night Team (Noctu)

🎯 Aitachi 🎯

The others tell him to wear the sticky note that says “dum” because it’ll ward off the evil impostors, and he does just that.

Aitachi doesn’t really understand the concept of Among Us. He’s not exactly up-to-date with modern technology, and so he’s not good at video games.

When playing, he’ll believe whatever the others tell him under the pretense that they mean what they say. Of course, half of them are being helpful and the other half just want to see cute Tachi pout in confusion.

“What does any of this mean, Sir Kirr?” he’ll ask, as if Kirr knows anything. Kirr just tells him it boils down to pure instinct and survival. “I see! In that case, we shall form a group and huddle to keep warm!”

Aitachi, no... You have to do your tasks, silly. 

He never does any of his tasks, so his task bar never goes up. Because of that, everyone suspects him of faking tasks. In reality, Aitachi has no clue what that even means.

When he plays with the manager, Aitachi always swears that he’ll protect them because it’s his duty as a warrior. Unfortunately, as soon as they separate, he’s killed.

He types in the ghost chat as the living debate what their next move will be, wondering why no one’s responding to his messages.

When he does figure out how to play, which will take a lot of time, he actually has a lot of fun trying to find the impostors. 

His go-to color is brown, and he wears the bear ears because it’s the closest thing to a pelt. When he isn’t wearing that hat, he’s got the “dum” sticky note on. 

🏹 Kirr 🏹

Just like Aitachi, he’s clueless. Though he’s able to adjust to the rules once he understands them. 

The only thing on his mind is survival of the fittest, and he uses his knowledge as a hunter to avoid death.

“This world is not much different from ours.” (For context, he’s comparing the impostors to vengeful spirits.)

Kirr likes to ask a lot of questions that have nothing to do with the actual gameplay. 

“If everyone is stuck on this spaceship, why haven’t they had anything to eat yet? They will starve without any nutrition.”

Kirr, sweetheart, it’s just a video game. Don’t worry about that.

He works alongside Aitachi, and the two of them learn—albeit incorrectly—from one another. They’re both so proud when they do their very first task.

Kirr never seems to become the impostor, so he’s always stuck as a crew mate. Along with that, he gets lost around the map quite easily, which is ironic considering he’s a skilled hunter.

He’s one of the few who’s killed first because he’s always alone in electrical trying to connect the wires. :( Poor Kirr.

His go-to color is black, and he wears the miner cap hat because he thinks the light on it will actually illuminate his way when the lights are sabotaged. Kirr’s just trying to do some in-game camouflage, but it’s not really working.

🎼 Nine 🎼

Nine is a silent player, only talking when he needs to. No one ever has time to question him because they’re too busy arguing over whether or not the others are the impostors. 

He wouldn’t have considered playing if the manager hadn’t mentioned it to him. It’s a way for everyone to relax and have fun, so they wanted him to be part of the chaos. 

He tends to stay in the background to avoid immediate suspicion. His tasks are always his first priority, and because of that he ends up finishing earlier than most players. Though a body report or an emergency meeting is inevitable, and sometimes that’ll interrupt him when he’s downloading files.

He’ll only call an emergency meeting when it’s absolutely necessary. Whenever Day follows him around, Nine doesn’t bother with a meeting. He’s certain Day won’t kill him because that human puppy never seems to get the impostor role.

Surprisingly good at faking tasks. He’s learns quickly that certain tasks perform a small animation once completed, so he stays away from those when he’s the impostor. 

Very rarely participates in the discussions. His strategy is mainly just keeping important information to himself so he can win, but as a crew mate he adds in a word or two that can either refute or prove the others’ claims. 

Nine never understands why Theo’s so intent on chasing him around. Once he was outed as the impostor—courtesy of the gracious Theo—and for that entire game he was just following Theo as a ghost. Sometimes Theo’s more confusing the gameplay itself.

He’s still polite to everyone, even if they’re accusing him or getting a little too heated.

“I respect your opinion, but I’m afraid I saw Mr. Cyrille vent.” Nine wants to remain civil despite the chaos that erupts when trying to pick out the impostor.

His go-to color is purple, and he wears the flamingo hat. (Day chose it for him.)

🍦 Day 🍦

Day doesn’t like being the impostor because he feels bad about having to kill his friends.

“I don’t want to kill Nine-Nine! I don’t want to kill anyone.”

He’ll call emergency meetings for the dumbest things.

“What’s going on? No one’s died yet.” And Day will respond with, “I just wanted to say hi to everyone! At the end of the day, we’re still friends, right?”

Nine has to tell him that it’s just a game and that he should just have fun.

Day follows Nine and the manager around because he believes that if they’re in a group nothing bad can happen. Imagine his surprise when Nine ends up killing him the second the manager leaves for navigation.

He feels so betrayed. His expression goes from :D to D: so fast. Poor Day. He just wanted to be by Nine’s side.

He has so much fun when he’s a crew mate. When he finishes his tasks, he’ll run around the map looking for something to do.

Probably dances on the cameras so the others won’t suspect him of being the impostor, or he’ll do figure eights in the lobby while waiting for everyone else to join. 

His go-to color is white with the cherry hat because it reminds him of ice cream.