#they think about you and talk about you too

[nerdpoe]

Bart won't stop talking Wally's ear off about how he's "been adopted" by another young hero, that he "has a brother" and he's "sooooooo much cooler than you", and how that hero's dad "says he might as well have another kid so I'm ultra-adopted". Wally think's Bart's reading too far into a throwaway comment, right up until he's invited to a cookout and huh. Yup. Bart was, actually, 100% right.

Wally finds himself staring up, up, up, into the face of Pariah Fucking Dark, as the massive Tyrant of the Dead glares at him and hands him a plate with a small pile of hot dogs.

There's two mad scientists who keep asking Pariah Dark to let him test their inventions on him.

There's a God of Time sitting on a swing and watching it all with a fond smile.

There's a billionaire Wally recognizes from the magazines hiding under the picnic table, giggling as he...does something on a tablet. Wally thinks he saw the Lexcorp Logo.

He turns away and slowly stuffs a hot dog into his mouth.

The hero that adopted Bart, Phantom, is playing the strangest version of Marco Polo that Wally's ever seen with Bart and two other heroes that look like Phantom.

It's so weird because there's no water.

Irey and Jai gravitate towards them, naturally.

Iris gives him a swat for being rude and goes over to introduce herself to the Mad Scientist pair.

Linda beelines for the grill, striking up a conversation with Pariah Dark, Tyrant of the Dead. They're talking about grilling techniques.

Wally...doesn't really know what to do?

He balances Wade on his hip and just. Follows Iris.

He manages to get a vague explanation.

The Mad Scientists are Jack and Maddie Fenton, their son, Phantom, came home one day and declared that Bart was his brother. They saw nothing wrong with this.

Pariah Dark is also Phantom's father.

The crazed billionaire is his godfather.

The God of Time is sort of his grandfather but for magical legal reasons isn't if a giant floating eyeball asks.

The other two Phantoms are his siblings, but also are his clones and one of them is him from the future.

Wally just. Accepts it.

Of course Bart would get roped into this level of crazy.

[wonderthor]

your neighbor sukuna who lives in one of the apartments upstairs may be a rough and dangerous man, but he’s funny and nice to you, so you become friends anyway. you even develop a little crush on him, and when he calls you little pet names like sweetheart and doll, you start to think he might like you too. one night you decide to go out for drinks, and as he drinks more he lets out more about his past and you learn he is a little more dangerous than you thought. he talks about how he broke into people’s houses at night all the time to steal their things and when he finally did get caught and locked up, he had probably broke into over 200 people’s houses by then.

“that’s crazy, but you wouldn’t get that lucky with me though”

he sets his beer down, raising his eyebrow at you in question.

“what do you mean?”

“i mean that im a very light sleeper, always have been. and there’s no way you couldn’t break into my apartment without me knowing it.”

he picks his beer back up and takes a swig before looking back at you with a smirk.

“you sure about that?”

you confidentially smirk back at him.

“oh absolutely. i get woken up if the wind blows a little too hard against the window. i even woke up that one time i had a mouse in my apartment and i could hear it scurrying across the floor. i would definitely hear you open my door and walk around.”

sukuna taps his fingers against the bar counter with his head in his hands and his eyes still on you, thinking.

“how about we make a bet.”

“a bet? on what?”

“if i can get into your locked apartment and into your bedroom without waking you up, i win. if i do, you win.”

“and what do i get when i win?”

sukuna chuckles at that, almost like a villain’s laugh.

“i wouldn’t worry too much about that.”

you roll your eyes at him.

“oh please, you sound way to confident in your impossible chance at winning.”

he laughs at you again.

“i am. there’s a reason i was able to break in so many people’s houses while they were still in there without getting caught. it’s kind of my specialty.”

you take another sip of your drink and lean back.

“your specialty, huh? and you still haven’t mentioned what we get if we win.”

“what do you want?”

his tone caught you off guard for a second, getting deeper and more serious without you expecting it.

“u-um, i don’t know. you can pick.”

he smiles at you again, a devious smile this time as he leans in closer to you.

“if i win, i get to do whatever i want to you. if you win, you get to do whatever you want to me.”

time stops for a minute and you don’t realize that you’re just staring at him until after several seconds.

“what do you m-mean by that?”

he leans back to hold his beer and his playful demeanor is back.

“well according to you, you won’t have to worry about that, right?”

a couple of days went by and you were still on edge. you mentally slept with your eyes open and even kept your bedroom door cracked, just in case you really couldn’t hear him come in. even though you knew it was just a bet and a silly little game, you couldn’t stop your heart from pounding against your chest. maybe because you still didn’t really know what he said meant. and there was also the eerie feeling that you were essentially waiting for him to break into your apartment, like a real robber. like the robber he used to be. and even though you knew he wasn’t dangerous to you and wouldn’t hurt you, you were still admittedly a little scared. you truly didn’t know what to expect.

it had been a couple of weeks now and you were sure sukuna was fucking with you. whenever you saw him in passing, he was his normal playful and flirty self, and mentioning nothing of the bet. you were starting to think he was kidding, just making that up to scare you and mess with you. or you also thought he could have just forgotten, since he was drinking a little and couldn’t have forgotten all about it.

but little did you know that you were playing right into his hands. he was waiting on you to lose your edge, to slowly get comfortable enough again to slip into deep and dream-filled sleeps. that’s why you didn’t expect it, why you didn’t expect to lose.

when you woke up one night, you felt your heart fall out of your body and your eyes almost jump from their sockets. there he was, in your apartment, in your bedroom, on your bed, leaning over you on his hands and knees. when he saw that you were awake and too stunned to speak, he smirked and leaned in closer to you until his face was just inches from yours.

“guess i win, sweetheart.”

[wisteriaw0rld]

‧₊˚ ꒰ა ᴊᴇᴀʟᴏᴜsʏ ૮꒱‎˚₊ ‧

ᴋɴʏ ᴍᴀʟᴇs x ɢɴ ʀᴇᴀᴅᴇʀ

synopsis: headcanons on how the male kny characters would behave when feeling jealous !

characters: tanjiro, zenitsu, inosuke, genya, muichiro, giyuu, kyojuro, tengen, obanai, sanemi

a/n: this was intended to be a gn! reader, but if there are any pronoun mistakes, please inform me! (i apologize for cutting out gyomei, but i can’t imagine him as the jealous type), (please take this post as a desperate beg for some requests since my block is gone.)

˚ʚ tanjiro ɞ˚

❥ he isn’t necessarily the jealous type. He trusts you with everything in him, and he has a horrible habit of trusting others too easily as well. so, it takes a lot to get him jealous. and i mean a lot. though that doesn’t mean he won’t get jealous.

❥ on the rare occasion he does get jealous, he immediately feels bad. especially if he makes it obvious. after all, he doesn’t want you ever thinking he doesn’t trust you.

❥ that being said, when he does get jealous from seeing you with someone else, it’s usually extremely subtle.

❥ more than half the time, he won’t act on his jealousy unless he feels the person is pushing your own boundaries.

❥ while tanjiro does wish to step in when he feels uncomfortable, he’ll always put your feelings first. therefore, he wouldn’t do anything unless you seem uncomfortable.

❥ overall, he’d be at most a 3/10 when it comes to a little “jealousy scale.”

❥ “tanjiro, are you jealous?” you make sure to let the words out as gently as possible, knowing how embarrassed he gets whenever you mention it.

❥ “no?” he says this while his face is scrunched up and irritated at the fact he just lied. at his partner, no less.

❥ taisho era secret: the first time he ever felt jealous was when he saw you tending to murata’s wounds at the butterfly estate. and he felt guilty about it. not only for making it seem like he didn’t trust you, but for feeling jealous of the fact you were helping someone. you had to keep comforting him and telling him it was normal and okay to be jealous. (he still thinks about it all the time.)

˚ʚ zenitsu ɞ˚

❥ extremely jealous, but it’s almost always driven by insecurity. but come him some slack, he isn’t entirely to blame.

❥ zenitsu’s spent at least half his life searching for a bride, and due to how strong he comes off, he had always been declined before he met you. (of course, you didn’t immediately accept his proposal, but you definitely let him down nicely before finally falling for him too.)

❥ but before you, he was used to rejection. he was used to rude comments and blatant bullying. not only that, but all his girlfriends before you used him for money. it was nice to find someone who truly loved him for him.

❥ so, he’s more scared than anything to lose you as he’s lost almost everyone else. although he does trust you, he doesn’t entirely trust himself and others.

❥ he without a doubt worries that he’s not good enough, and that any other man you talk to will be able to swoon you and sweep you away.

❥ zenitsu can be just about the most jealous person ever, but a lot of that depends on how far in the relationship you two are. a solid-ish 9/10.

❥ “please don’t ever leave me for another man, y/n!” he says this in a begging tone while clinging onto your waist for dear life, as if you’d vanish at any given moment.

❥ “why would i go for another man when ive got someone as perfect as you?” when zenitsu gets jealous, he starts off aggressive with whoever it is making him feel threatened (especially if it’s a friend of his.) but afterwards, he needs comfort from you. it doesn’t matter if it’s physical or verbal, he just wants your reassurance and comfort.

❥ taisho era secret: you were the first lover zenitsu had that he actually cared enough about to get jealous over. and it’s needless to say he didn’t handle it well the first time he felt that way. and for the next few days after feeling that way, he’s even more clingy than usual. (bonus days of clinginess if you forgot to comfort him after he was done excessively yelling.)

˚ʚ inosuke ɞ˚

❥ in complete honesty, inosuke doesn’t truly understand jealousy. there are times he’ll experience it, and times he straight up won’t care how close you get to others. (with boundaries set, of course.)

❥ he doesn’t care too much about physical touch, (due to him being so used to invading peoples space). but he does care about acts of service.

❥ he’s used to you doing things for him, whether they’re small or large. so while he doesn’t entirely mind when someone’s too close to you, he does care when you do something too kind for someone else.

❥ especially if these small acts of service becomes consistent. to him, it doesn’t matter if you’re simply offering left over food from your plate to someone. he doesn’t like it.

❥ when jealous, he tends to be blunt and loud as he is with everything else. as previously stated, he doesn’t really understand or comprehend the emotion too well. but he definitely voices it out to you, (even though he makes it confusing to understand how he feels.)

❥ his overall scale might be confusing. it depends on what you do and how he handles it in that exact moment. but it certainly ranges. 4-6/10 based on what it is that gets him feeling jealous.

❥ “i told you to train with me!” he yells this after seeing you train with another member of the corps. he also yells this with multiple bruises and injuries from his previous battle tattered all over his body.

❥ “and i told you; you’re too beat up to train!” you yell back, hands wrapped around inosuke as your pulling him in an attempt to stop him from beating up your training partner.

❥ taisho era secret: the first time inosuke ever experienced jealousy with you was when you offered your last onigiri to tanjiro and not him. and this happened before the two of began dating. safe to say he snatched the onigiri from tanjiro’s hand and afterwards told you that as the ‘king of the mountains’ you were to only share your food with him. but he shamefully couldn’t hide the blush on his face when you agreed.

˚ʚ genya ɞ˚

❥ genya is scarred, both emotionally and physically. and despite his rough exterior, he’s a softy inside. and that only doubles when he’s around you.

❥ he knows he isn’t exactly the best person. and with that, he has insecurities of his own. and his relationship with his brother doesn’t make it any better. in fact, it only gets him overthinking his behavior over and over.

❥ while he does get possessive easily, he fears that if he voices it, it’ll just get you to push him away. he doesn’t want you to think he doesn’t believe you’re loyal. he knows you are.

❥ when he is jealous, he tends to hide it. he’ll solely stick by your side and try his best to make it clear to the other person that you’re his lover. not anyone else’s. but he’ll try his hardest to do it without making it obvious to you. (but he does tend to pass a few rude comments to the one you’re talking with.)

❥ when and if you catch onto his jealousy, he hates that you caught him. he just dislikes the idea of you, for any reason, getting annoyed at his jealousy. so, he doesn’t necessarily take it easy when you’ve caught onto his little act.

❥ his jealousy overall isn’t strong or obvious. and it thankfully doesn’t happen too often. he typically enjoys watching you show off your kindness to others. but it is a 5/10 when things go too far.

❥ “genya? it’s okay to have gotten jealous,” you attempted to console your boyfriend as you run your fingers through his hair

❥ “i told you, i’m not jealous,” he mumbles under his breath, not even believing his own words. especially when he finds himself thinking back to when he caught another slayer trying to get handsy with you. the way his face turns red from anger from just thinking about it only proves your point.

❥ “well, if it makes you feel better, your jealousy saved me,” you teased, placing a soft kiss on his cheek.

❥ taisho era secret: the first time he had felt jealous was during gyomei’s hashira training. the two of you were the first to finish the boulder-training and agreed to help the others. he didn’t think it would be too difficult seeing you get close to others. but he was proved wrong when he saw you instruct a fellow slayer on the stance they should get into. the moment he had enough of it, he grabbed your wrist and wordlessly pulled you away from the scene with a flushed face.

˚ʚ muichiro ɞ˚

❥ the mist pillar has lost a lot in his life. and though he doesn’t get overly jealous, it’s clear that he doesn’t like when you form close bonds with others. he can’t afford to lose you too.

❥ when it comes to you being close to other people he’s friends with, he doesn’t mind. but it’s completely different when it comes to others.

❥ it was especially hard to deal with his jealousy with his mindset before he met tanjiro at the swordsmith village. he deeply believed you shouldn’t waste your time talking to those ‘lower than you.’ and he’ll go out of his way to intimidate them. which doesn’t exactly take a lot of effort.

❥ but he does learn to control it after a while. somewhat. he still gets upset when you’re overly affectionate to others. but in a way, he sometimes admires it. sometimes.

❥ and when he does get protective, he doesn’t lay it down easy. his natural response is to send a glare to whoever’s getting too close for comfort. (and that’s after he gets his memories back. it was definitely much worse before due to him carelessly throwing out insults.)

❥ when he gets jealous, it does take quite a bit for him to finally intervene, but when he does, he’s more harsh with it. with him, it ranges form a 3/10 to a 7/10. (usually it’s the 7/10.)

❥ “why are you bothering y/n with some useless information?” while he isn’t exactly fond with pda, he doesn’t mind tugging you away from the corps member your talking to and pulling you against him.

❥ “mui, it’s fine,” you don’t fail to catch the cold glare he sends as a small warning for the corps member to leave. but it doesn’t matter that you caught it, because he isn’t the type to simply admit that he’s jealous.

❥ taisho era secret: the first time he had ever gotten jealous was a few months before he regained his past memories. and he was undoubtedly way vulgar back then. so, when he saw a rank mizunoto uncomfortably invading your space, he was quick to react and pull sharply at the boys collar. he left it off with a threat, mostly because he saw how anxious the situation was making you.

˚ʚ giyuu ɞ˚

❥ it’s typically easy for him to get jealous, considering all the close people he’s lost, but he’s great at masking it.

❥ giyuu, like many others, is luckily able to manage his jealousy calmly and usually without struggle. but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t ever feel jealous. it only seems that way.

❥ he’s also the type to bring up the jealousy after the situation. and if not, there’s a chance he won’t mention it at all.

❥ the water pillars jealousy also depends a lot on who it is you’re talking to. if it’s someone much more talkative or extroverted than him, his jealousy just might increase.

❥ but as previously said, he can easily hide and suppress his jealous feelings. (in other words, he’ll protectively stand by your side with crossed arms while you’re cluelessly and happily chatting away.)

❥ on a scale, he’s likely a 7/10, but one would think it to be much lower than that, considering he doesn’t really ever intervene. (the most he’d do is drop subtle hints that he’s uncomfortable.)

❥ “love, are you sure you’re alright?” for once, you finally stop talking to the sound pillar and divert your attention to giyuu, who you noticed was shifting around and standing much closer to you than usual.

❥ “mhm,” his tone is sharp, as always. he glances at uzui for not even a second, before he moves his hand to hold yours.

❥ taisho era secret: while giyuu has been a little jealous on multiple occasions, there was only ever one time you caught him. (and that was when he saw you attempting to stop sanemi from stabbing nezuko during tanjiro’s trial. he simply didn’t like the way you had to forcefully grab sanemi arms.)

˚ʚ kyojuro ɞ˚

❥ he’s extremely optimistic and open minded. it takes a whole lot to actually make him jealous.

❥ when he does get jealous, he’s not in any way clear about it. and he’s not exactly the type of person to step in unless absolutely necessary.

❥ and when he does step in, it’s either if you are getting upset or weary of certain actions or if he deems the other person should stop when you’re distinctly unavailable.

❥ thankfully, when he does say something, it’s never rude. (but it is if the other person still persists.) usually, when he’s feeling jealous, his outgoing personality will disappear for a short while, which should be enough warning for you both to be left alone.

❥ overall, it’s hard to imagine him as the type that’s easily provoked from jealousy. likely a 4/10 due to his trust for you!

❥ “you were jealous, weren’t you, kyo?” you teased lightly, glancing down at the man laying on your lap. after all, you caught the way his arms were intensely crossed from a few minutes before one of your close friends left.

❥ “you catch on fast,” koyjuro let out a light chuckle. he was an honest man, and he didn’t mind telling you the truth. no, he didn’t mind it at all. cause the way you gave an amused smile was worth admitting to something as simple as jealousy.

❥taisho era secret: the first time kyojuro was jealous, you didn’t really notice. but the moment the two of you arrived back to your home, he immediately began covering your face with gentle kisses. but you dismissed it for his usual behavior, as shocking and as out of nowhere it was.

˚ʚ tengen ɞ˚

❥ tengen has an extraordinarily large ego. and at that, he has four wives to feed into it. so, it’s difficult to truly get him riled up jealousy wise.

❥ not only is he aware of his own worth, but he also knows the worth of his wives. you’re beautiful, and he knows it more than you would think.

❥ you could be talking to another man, and he wouldn’t care too much. he’d be too busy thinking about the fact you should be talking to someone much more flashy.

❥ but who is he to judge who you talk to, right? after all, once the two of you are at home again, he can show you how much better he is than whoever it is you were talking to.

❥ on the occasion he does get jealous, even he has to admit he’s rather impressed. but that only lasts for not even a full second. one moment he’ll be moderately impressed, the next he’ll be all over you while your talking to someone else, chiming into the conversation to remind them that you’re his wife.

❥ though he may not get jealous easily, he doesn’t at all try to hide it when he is. he’ll make sure to be doing everything he can to send in reminders of how good he treats you. and how no one else can live up to how nice he is with you. a 5/10.

❥ “you’re hitting on her? seriously?” your husband subtly mocks, looking down at the man that was very horribly trying to flirt with you. “you think you’re good enough for her?”

❥ “tengen,” you jab his side, signaling him to choose kinder words. but he ignores you, instead wrapping an arm around your waist, sending a humorous wink the other man’s way.

❥ taisho era secret: on the few times that tengen gets jealous and a little protective of you, he tends to get rather touchy with you. but he obviously won’t do anything your uncomfortable with in public. (except maybe slap your ass.)

˚ʚ obanai ɞ˚

❥ jealousy easily eats him alive. he’s willing to be unforgiving and crude to just about anyone that ‘selfishly’ decides they’re worthy enough to get too close to you.

❥ in front of you, he tries his best to keep his composure while being jealous of whoever it is you find yourself talking too. but while he’s trying, he’s very clearly seething from beside you.

❥ and the poor person your conversing with is reasonably shaking from your lovers dark company and cold stare.

❥ the moment you’re out of his line of vision, the person he was jealous of is no longer safe.

❥ to obanai, it doesn’t entirely matter if who you’re talking to is even flirting. they could be simply complimenting you in the most casual platonic way, and he’d be giving them a look.

❥ while he may get jealous a lot, he also knows when to force himself to calm down, (on your behalf.) but he’s definitely a 9/10 or even a 10/10 depending on who it is you’re with.

❥ “you,” obanai points a threatening finger at the already shaking demon slayer, “stay the hell away from y/n.”

❥ “obanai, all he did was say hello,” before you could argue more, your angered boyfriend was already dragging you off.

❥ taisho era secret: the first time obanai had ever felt jealous was before the two of you even began dating, which made it even harder for him to interrupt the conversation you were having. but he was most definitely watching you from behind a tree and glaring daggers at a certain someone. and afterwards, he made sure to glare at them whenever he saw them.

˚ʚ sanemi ɞ˚

❥ sanemi is jealous in the way that he’s aggressive with whoever thinks they have a chance at pursuing you. but when it comes to you, he’ll try to be as gentle as possible. especially if the two of you are in an established relationship.

❥ he’s ready to attack just about anyone that even dares to look at you for longer than necessary. but at least he means well.

❥ sanemi’s already an overly hostile person. so that only doubles when it comes to you. especially when it comes to him feeling jealous.

❥ while it’s already bad enough when sanemi’s jealous, it’s even worse when you begin to show signs of awkwardness. he’ll most definitely try and drive the other person out of your way in the rudest way he can.

❥ but at least his intentions are good.

❥ his jealousy happens easily, and his actions are abrupt and mean as well. so it’s clear he might have some issues. an 8/10.

❥ “who the hell are you to talk to her that way?” the man in front of you, who had just passed you a compliment, was now staring directly behind you with a fear driven face. but you couldn’t lie, even you were caught off guard by your lovers sudden appearance.

❥ “it’s alright love, i’m sure they just didn’t know we’re dating,” but before you could further dismiss the flirtatious remark, the demon slayer was already scurrying off while sanemi yelled at him.

❥ taisho era secret: as surprising as it is, whenever you try and tell sanemi to calm down during his jealousy spouts, he listens more than half the time. he doesn’t mind when you tell him. so he’ll try his best to respect your wishes. (but he definitely doesn’t last very long.)

[sufficientlylargen]

It always gets me that the name "Gandalf" literally just means "Wand-Elf" or "Stick-Elf". I'm imagining old Gondorians just being like:

Librarian: I saw that weird guy at the library again today.

Guard 1: What weird guy?

Librarian: The old guy with the beard? Kinda elfy-looking, apart from the beard?

Guard 1: Oh, with the big-ass stick?

Librarian: Yeah, looked like he was carrying an entire tree branch.

Guard 2: Yeah, that's the Stick Elf.

Guard 1: Hell yeah, I fuckin' love the Stick Elf.

Librarian: The "Stick Elf"?

Guard 2: He comes by every few years, usually after some weird book or other.

Librarian: Oh. Yeah, he wanted a treatise on goblin breeding habits.

Guard 2: Like, how they have sex? We have books on that?

Librarian: Yeah, turns out we do. I was as surprised as you are.

Guard 1: What'd the Stick Elf need a fuckin' goblin-fuckin' book for?

Librarian: I didn't ask. So you just call him "Stick Elf"?

Guard 2: I mean, he looks kinda elfy and he always has that stick, so, like, yeah.

Guard 1: Dude also has some fuckin' dope pipeweed.

Guard 2: Oh yeah, his pipeweed is awesome.

Librarian: How long has he been coming here?

Guard 2: Oh, for decades. He's, like, super old.

Guard 1: More like fuckin' centuries. Dude's old as balls.

Guard 2: Wait, really?

Guard 1: Yeah, my gran-gran used to talk about him. She loved his pipeweed too.

Librarian: So he's… an immortal pipeweed dealer?

Guard 2: I think he's just, like, a connoisseur. He doesn't sell it or anything. He just always has some really top-notch pipeweed on him.

Archivist: Oh, are we talking about Stick Elf?

Guard 1: Hell yeah we are!

Librarian: You know about the Stick Elf, too?

Archivist: Oh, totally. Stick-Elf's a super chill dude. Gave me some awesome pipeweed when I was maybe 12, and tee-bee-aitch I think I'm still a little buzzed from it.

Guard 1: What'd I tell ya, fuckin' dope pipeweed!

Archivist: Also he's really old.

Guard 1: Old as balls.

Librarian: Yeah, so Éodan and Jenniforomir were telling me.

Archivist: My grandpa used to tell me stories - he said one time he saw Stick Elf enter a smoke-ring contest.

Guard 1: Ooh, I'll bet he kicked fuckin' ass.

Archivist: Apparently the guy made an entire warship out of smoke and it flew around shooting down the other rings.

Librarian: And how much of this "fuckin' dope" pipeweed had your grandfather had by this point?

Guard 1: No no, that's totally plausible. Dude's got weird elf powers and shit for sure.

Archivist: He brought fireworks for the king's birthday one year, too.

Guard 1: Oh fuck, I forgot about those! Fuckin' incredible fireworks! Dragons and knights and glowy trees and shit! I was fuckin' 6 years old or something, they totally blew my mind. Hey Éodan, did you see that shit?

Guard 2: No, I think that's before I lived in Gondor.

Guard 1: Wait, you're not from here?

Guard 2: Oh, no, I grew up in Rohan. We moved here when I was, like, thirteen because my uncle Éojeff said he could get my dad a sweet job. And also that there were houses that didn't smell like horseshit.

Guard 1: Oh shit, are you related to Éojeff and Éosteve who run that æbleskiver stand on Norndîl St?

Guard 2: Yeah, they're my uncles!

Guard 1: Shit, they cook a fuckin' great æbleskiver!

Librarian: Ok, hold up a sec, "Stick Elf" can't possibly be his real name.

Guard 1: Why not?

Librarian: What? You think his parents named him in the hopes that he would carry around a fucking tree when he got older?

Guard 2: Maybe they gave him the tree when he was born!

Archivist: I don't think a baby could carry that stick.

Guard 1: You ever seen a baby hanging onto something? They're hella strong.

Archivist: It's not a strength thing, their hands are tiny. That staff is enormous!

Guard 1: My halberd's bigger 'n I am, I can hold it just fine.

Archivist: You're not a baby.

Librarian: Also why would elf parents name their kid "stick ELF"?! Presumably they know that their kid's going to be an elf!

Archivist: Is he actually an elf? I didn't think they grew beards.

Guard 1: How'd he get old as balls if he's not an elf?

Guard 2: His ears aren't that pointy. Maybe he's just a really old guy? Like, a Numémoriam or something?

Guard 1: Did you just say "Numémoriam"?

Guard 2: Nûnenorman? Munimõrbitan? Y'know, those guys like the king that can get super old.

Guard 1: You mean the fuckin' Númenóreans?

Guard 2: Yeah, the Númenóreums.

Archivist: Even the Númenóreans don't live THAT long.

Guard 1: Plus he carries that fuckin' stick around.

Guard 2: Wait, what does the stick have to do with it?

Guard 1: That's an elf thing. Y'know, trees and shit? Very elfy.

Librarian: Ok, look, but his parents naming him "Stick Elf" would be weird whether or not he's an elf. In fact, it's even weirder if he's not - what human names their kid "elf"?

Archivist: Huh. Yeah, you're right, he probably does have another name.

Guard 2: Yeah, I guess so.

Librarian: He's been coming here for decades and nobody's ever asked his real name?

Archivist: I dunno what to tell you, he's Stick Elf. Even his library card just says 'Stick Elf'.

Guard 1: Fuck yeah, the Stick Elf!

Guard 2: Maybe we could, like, ask him his name sometime?

Guard 1: Hey, look, Elrond's over there. He's old as balls too, maybe he knows?

Guard 2: Oh, we shouldn't interru-

Guard 1: HEY ELROND, YOU'RE OLD AS BALLS, RIGHT? WHAT'S THAT OLD ELF WITH THE STICK'S NAME?

Elrond (coming over): Do you mean an old man cloaked all in grey and blue, leaning on a rough-cut staff, who came to the great library this day?

Guard 1: Yeah, the Stick-Elf!

Guard 2: (Sorry to bother you, sir...)

Librarian: He's got to have a real name besides 'the Stick Elf', right?

Elrond: Indeed, for no elf is he. You speak of the wizard Olórin, wisest of the Maiar, older even than Eä itself. Many are his names in many countries: Tharkûn among the Dwarves; Incánus to the south; Mithrandir he is called among my people, the Grey Pilgrim.

Librarian: Oh.

Elrond: And here in the North he is called Stick-Elf.

Librarian: Oh.

Guard 1: Fuck yeah!

[bixels]

I'm not getting into The Giving Tree discourse...

[myosotisa]

the 141's reactions to you shaving/waxing your bush

Price: doesn't really mind either way. whatever makes you more comfortable, love. a grown man can handle whatever you have down there in terms of hair or not.

Gaz: is surprised. makes sure to let you know that if you shaved/waxed because you thought he would like it more, it wasn't necessary. but if you did it for yourself, then that's cool too. just wanted to make sure, babe.

Ghost: doesn't react at all. and if you press him for a reaction/ask him what he thinks, he says something about the table dressings not being as important as the meal. cunt is cunt and dick is dick, and brother he's here to eat, not talk.

Soap: 🫨 WHAT HAEVE YE DON TO EM?!?! 🥹🥹🥹 YER NAEKID AS A BAIRN, BONNIE. 😭😭😭 HOW COULD YE DO THIS TO MY SWEET LAD/LASS?????? 😭😭😭

[pettydollie]

clingy!chris who can watch you shower without thinking anything sexual. he sits outside the tub on the clean little bath mat, watching you lather shampoo onto your hair. the water droplets dripping down your bare body didn’t faze him, neither did the way your nipples perked under the shower. he rambles to you about his day sitting cross crossed while you rub bubbly soap all over you. he toothily smiles as he talks, recalling his long day. he helps dry you off when you’re finished too, grabbing your pink hello kitty towel and wrapping your naked body in it. he sits you at the vanity he built for you, you applying your skincare while he combs/brushes your wet hair. he braids it messily with a cute pink rubber band at the bottom. something so simple as being in your presence after a tiring day was enough to make chris feel full again.

[awarmbowlofhomemadesoup]

What I love about Dungeon Meshi is that it writes platonic relationships with the same weight romantic stories would normally be written.

The Character that Got Their Heart Broken Too Many Times

Humanity broke Laois' heart. This is taken advantage later on by the Wingled Lion, but I digress.

Laois got bullied in all-boys school to the point that he ran away to become a soldier. Heartbreak #1.

He got harrassed in the training camp to the point that he became a deserter. Heartbreak #2.

The combination of these events were so bad, his lack of basic self-care can be a sign of a depressive state. If Falin hadn't joined him, who knows what would've happened to him.

Laois was so happy when he became friends with Shuro and felt so betrayed when Toshiro said he couldn't stand him. Not exactly a heartbreak #3 but it hurt all the same. They got past it but Laois remembers.

And when Kabru, for once in his life, stopped playing poker and laid down his cards, Laois wasn't going to let his heart be hurt for the fourth time.

The biggest thing that stands out to me in this manner is how Kabru's blurted confession of wanting to be friends with Laois was treated as much as a big revelation as a romantic one. Because the weight of that confession is Kabru's character development.

The Character Whose Sincerity Doesn't Come Easy for Him

This guy grew up being infantilized and not taken seriously by the elves for being a short-lived race. So, he honed diplomacy as sharp as his assassin's blade.

He knows the right things to say and when to say them, making him well-liked by everyone (much to his team's chagrin over their loved ones). And yet his personal cause puts a distance between him and his trusted teammates (including his childhood friend).

To say his true feelings and thoughts would end up with long-lived races dismissing him for being unwise and irrational.

So he keeps his cards to himself and works with subtlety throughout the manga, until things got worse, and he couldn't make Laois stay.

And he was left with nothing but to be sincere.

Right from the start, he said he wanted the Touden siblings to be unmasked. But in the end, he unmasked himself, much to his horror.

Addition edit: Kabru has been keeping his cards close to himself for so long, I don't think he realized what he really feels until he blurted it out. He chased after Laois throughout the dungeon because Laois might defeat the mad sorcerer. But for a guy who wants to understand everyone, he never understands what he feels about Laois and what that feeling means until his brain catches up with his mouth.

After decking Laois for not believing him, Kabru elaborated in his confession. He has developed a platonic crush (plush for short) or desire to be friends with Laois because:

1. Kabru wants to understand how Laois could love the very thing Kabru hates. Hate is just another face of fear. We fear what we don't understand. To understand Laois is to understand monsters. I think Kabru finds it admirable that Laois could admire monsters when everyone just view them as a threat.

2. He wants Laois to care about the same thing he does, which is saving humanity. Laois and co. are willing to side with the demon to protect Marcille from the Canaries. By asking to be Laois friend, Kabru becomes Laois' link to humanity that whatever they would do from there with the demon, please don't forget how it might affect other people outside his friends. And by gods, this is important to Kabru's development because he has never asked for help for his cause nor asked anyone to care because he's too used to the self-serving nature of all races. And yet, he chose to believe in Laois.

However, it was only in the end that they were able to talk after things had settled down. And they are so different and so alike at the same time.

Source

In this scene, there are two differing thoughts:

Laois, who experienced social rejection growing up: Do you still mean it?

Kabru, who had to deal with those of higher power: Are you testing me?

But they're still thinking the same thing: Is this real?

Like, all of their motivations have the weight often molded into romantic plots in any other story. A character who got their heart broken too many times and another character whose honesty does not come easy for them. But it's not a romantic story, but a start of a beautiful friendship.

There are more examples out there, but this is what came to my mind. Feel free to add more.

[royalarchivist]

Richarlyson: You're skinny sir, are you eating well these days?

Pac: Not really. To tell you the truth, I've been eating... I stole, together with my son, we stole some cupcakes from the Federation. I ate some, but I know chocolate isn't the best thing to eat, right?

Richarlyson: 12 kilos D:

Pac: 12 kilos?!? No– what? My god. My god... Am I malnourished, Doctovo? Am I- Am I malnourished?

Richarlyson: You weigh less than a pitbull, sir.

Pac: Less than the singer? Damn... [Laughs]

Richarlyson: [Hits Pac]

[lyrefromthesea]

Please could I request all the hashira being in denial that they have a crush on hashira!reader. I hope you’re having a wonderful day 💙💙💙

Male pillars x Reader - Denial is a thing

pairing: Tengen x reader, Obanai x reader, Rengoku x reader, Sanemi x reader, Giyuu x reader, Gyomei x reader

content warning: none

type 1 - i don't have enough time for romance, meaning it doesn't exist.

he is the type of person who is fully obligated to his duty. saving people and taking care of others has gotten natural to him.

the demon slayers of lower rank have come to trust him, look up to him, he couldn't disappoint them. he knew how it was to be scared, now he needed to take away the fear others felt.

naturally, he didn't understand why he found his attention shift, suddenly not thinking of his mission anymore.

yet nothing was different, he got a mission assigned, another slayer joined him, you both tried to defeat the demon.

that's right, you.

you were different, you were the thought occupying his mind. he thought it was fine at first, but when he got distracted during the fight, he realized just how severe the connection to you could be.

he would try to keep your relationship professional, strictly related to work, but he couldn't stop himself from learning more about you while you took care of his wounds.

...Gyomei, Rengoku

type 2 - i don't even know what happened, this can't be true.

this was stupid, utterly and absolutely stupid. in no world was it possible for him to fall in love with you.

..right?

you were a nice person, someone he could rely on. fear was evident on your face when the situation got severe, but you pushed through, because you wanted to save the people around you - even him.

he didn't understand, you weren't a hashira, yet you fought with the same determination. he tried to understand, listened to your explanation.

"i can't rely on you just because you're strong, the people who chose this life decided to fight until it's over."

he felt his heart throb right at that moment, heartbeat speeding up drastically. never in his life had he heard another person talk like this.

yes, he couldn't understand how this happened.. or maybe he just didn't want to.

...Obanai, Tengen

type 3 - i will never love again, otherwise i'll lose you too.

what makes him special is not the fact that he's denying his feelings for you, it's how he copes with it.

he wasn't stupid, of course he realized something was different when he felt his cheeks flush or how he accidentally stuttered when he tried to talk to you.

the realization hit him like a brick, immediately excusing himself, trying to never talk to you again.

he knew how this would go. he fell in love with you, he stayed by your side and like everyone else, you'll be taking away from him. it's always that way. it'll always be that way.

it's not like he couldn't stay away, he was used to being alone. other people didn't necessarily talk to him, he would just go back to his old life.

only that it was much harder this time. how come he would always run into you? not only that, but somehow he got paired up on missions with you too.

he cursed himself, nothing about this worked like he had wanted it to.

and when you silently brushed your hand against his, eventually bringing yourself to interlock your hands, he knew he had ultimately failed to stay way.

not that he cared a few months later, when he could wake up to your sleeping body next to his.

...Sanemi, Giyuu

[thelyinggrapevine]

The Marauders & Regulus out in town, enjoying the day...

Peter: Guys, where's Regulus? I don't see him anywhere.

Sirius: Eh, he'll make his way back eventually - he's like a cat in that regard.

Remus: I got this, no worries. *Deep breath* SIRIUS BLACK IS A SHIT BROTHER!

*Silence*

Sirius: Mooney, that's not gonna work, we're barely on speaking terms right now.

Remus: I have a back-up plan; JAMES POTTER IS WEIRD AND NOBODY LIKES HIM!

Regulus, getting closer the more he yells: HOW ABOUT YOU SHUT THE FUCK UP, PIECE OF SHIT?

Sirius: See, Mooney, I told you he wouldn't answer to mine.

Regulus, suddenly there now: No, I answered to yours, I was just too far away. Also, Remus? I will hit you if you say shit like that again about either of them, joke or not. I'm the only one who can talk shit about my brother, I don't care if you guys are dating. *crosses arms over chest*

Sirius, tearing up: Reg... OW-

Regulus, trying to hide his blush: Shut the fuck up.

James, leaning on Peter: Did you hear that, Pete?? He defended me!! That has to mean something, right?? Do you think he likes me? Oh, I hope so!!

Peter, rubbing in-between his eyes: James, he was literally sitting in your lap last night and letting you play with his hair. Not even Barty's allowed to do that anymore.

James, clueless: Yeah?

Peter: I do not get paid enough for this.

[23victoria]

Medicine

cheater!charles leclerc x singer!fem!reader

fc: rihanna and other girls from pinterest

warnings: cussing…lots of it, cheating, cussing, sexual talk, talking shit about charles (please note that i do not agree with the things said it’s just for the fic 😭) i’m back from my breakkkk, much needed cause i have so many ideas to write and requests 🤭 hope yall enjoy this been sitting in my drafts for a min now 😭

authors note: if you wanna join my taglist, click HERE!

f1 masterlist

y/n_ig

liked by carlossainzjr, sza, beyoncé, lewishamilton, landonorris, oscarpiastri, georgerussel, versace and 8,918,122 others

cannes festival 😘✨

view comments

username9 ohhh she ateeee 🥴✨

username21 bodied every motherfucking look 🤭✨

username8 im obsessed with her 🤧

lewishamilton fashion icon 🫶🏾🔥

username41 she ate all the girls up 😵‍💫

username11 she gorgeous, like wow 😵‍💫🥴✨

view more comments

messages

twitter

messages

twitter

y/n_ig

liked by carlossainzjr, sza, kehlani, lewishamilton, landonorris, oscarpiastri, georgerussel, f1gossip101 and 10,968,347 others

i want revenge, i can’t fake it

sza you’re so hot

carlossainzjr 🔥🔥🔥

kehlani my wife is so sexy 🤤

victoriamonet tell em y/n/n 🤭

lewishamilton this is a look 😮‍💨🔥

landonorris 🤩

yukitsunoda you look hot 🥵

comments have been limited

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y/n_ig

liked by carlossainzjr, sza, kehlani, lewishamilton, landonorris, oscarpiastri, georgerussel, yukitsunoda and 11,738,127 others

i don’t think you’ll understand, until i hit you where it hurts

view more comments

username1 YASSS QUEEENNNN 🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️

username12 she looks so fucking good 😫😫

username13 the bob is bobbing mhmmmm 🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️

username7 not her stabbing someone in the head?!?!

username9 yea she out for blooddd 🤭

username2 charles better tighten up his security and lock them doors

username9 THE BLACK LIP?!? THE BEAT?!?! YESSS!!!! 😩😮‍💨

comments have been limited

y/n_ig

liked by carlossainzjr, sza, kehlani, lewishamilton, landonorris, oscarpiastri, zendaya, yukitsunoda and 12,238,222 others

don’t get it twisted, i can play this game too

username1 HOLY FUCK

username15 she so hottt 🤤🤤

username3 how can you cheat on her

sza sexyyyy 😩😩

username22 yummmm

kehlani marry me please 🥴🤧

username69 on my knees for the goddess 🧎🏾‍♀️🧎🏾‍♀️

livelaughlovey/n i’ll cook, clean, do laundry, anything, i’ll do anything please please please please please let me be yours

username1 she can step on me and call me dog shit and i will say thank you 😍😍😍😍

charlesleclerc seriously y/n. can we please just talk? can you please unblock me? can you call me back or answer my messages please?

↳ username1 @.charlesleclerc i know you not - 😧😧😧

↳ username7 @.charlesleclerc be fucking forreal 🧍‍♂️

↳ username19 @.charlesleclerc the audacity of you mf 🖕🖕🖕

↳ username37 @.charlesleclerc are you deadass rn?!?! 😑

↳ username9 @.charlesleclerc yea your fucking delusional 🤣

↳ username81 @.charlesleclerc boy get the fuck off her page 😒

twitter

y/n_ig

liked by carlossainzjr, sza, kehlani, lewishamilton, arianagrande, oscarpiastri, zendaya, judebellingham and 13,938,292 others

medicine tn at 12

view comments

sza yea my bitch is backkkk 😮‍💨

oscarpiastri revenge.

yukitsunoda yea charles never escaping this 🤣

kehlani bad girl y/n/n is back hoes 😈🔥

lewishamilton they not ready 😈

username19 those shall pay for their sins

username27 the three different stages of black?!?! three different stages of anger?!? betrayal?!?! revenge?!?!

↳ username33 @.username27 me when i over think and read into things 💀💀

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y/n_ig

liked by carlossainzjr, sza, kehlani, lewishamilton, landonorris, oscarpiastri, georgerussel, f1gossip101 and 14,968,347 others

he treats me better than you and fucks me better than you 🥴😘 oh! and his dick is bigger as well 🤭

username1 oh - 😮

username3 speechless…🫢

yourbff as you motherfucking should

username17 IS THAT CARLOS?!? 😵

username9 omg!!! jaw dropped 😳

username10 yea she wins

username16 @.charlesleclerc she fucked your bestfriend…🤣🤣🤣

lewishamilton y/n you did not say this in the gc…

landonorris @.lewishamilton none of them did?!?

gerogerussell no heads up at all 😮

oscarpiastri damn 😵‍💫

maxverstappen so proud of you 🫶

yukitsunoda truly proud of this moment, @.charlesleclerc fuck you you fucking piece of shit, that why she’s fucking your ex-best friend 😘

livelaughlovey/n mother mothered ✨

carlossainzjr

liked by y/n_ig, sza, lewishamilton, landonorris, cardib, oscarpiastri, georgerussel, f1gossip101 and 4,568,897 others

thank you charles, your loss was my gain 😘

username6 nahhh

username8 yeaa if i was charles i would be crying like a bitch rn

landonorris 😧😧 again?!?! no fucking warning?!?!

lewishamilton literally defeats the purpose of the gc, i’m not mad though 🤭

georgerussell we are supposed to be in on this, but i’m here for this 😊

oscarpiastri caption ate though i can’t lie 🫢

maxverstappen good job y/n/n 😤

yukitusnoda @.charlesleclerc this is what your bitchass gets you dumb fuck

username23 @.charlesleclerc please know that she was in fact riding carlos crazy like she said

livelaughlovey/n @.charlesleclerc she asked you how you would like it if she did the same to you…now you know 😍

username19 @.charlesleclerc she did say she was going to leave him crying 🤷🏽‍♀️

username69 @.charlesleclerc how’s the taste of you own medicine?!?! 🤭

username1 @.charlesleclerc you fucked around and found out ☺️😘

✯¸.•´*¨`*•✿ ✿•*`¨*`•.¸✯ ✯¸.•´*¨`*•✿ ✿•*`¨*`•.¸✯

✿ .° • everything taglist • °. ✿ : @ham1lton @ietss @animeandf1lover @nelly187 @heartsfromtaeyong

✯¸.•´*¨`*•✿ ✿•*`¨*`•.¸✯ ✯¸.•´*¨`*•✿ ✿•*`¨*`•.¸✯

© 23victoria 2023-24 I all rights reserved. do not republish, steal repost, modify, translate or claim my work as your own

[setare7x]

tim drake's fake uncle

can we pls talk more about the whole fake uncle thing?? bc tim just hired an actor to be his uncle and it's so funny to me like your parents die and that's the first thing you think about??

and it has so much potential about the batfam finding out, like something like this:

bruce, looking through tim's papers bc he needs to do something: tim, didn't you have an uncle? i can't find the papers anywhere

tim, laughing awkwardly (while looking suspicous): what uncle? i never had an uncle

jason entering the room and overhearing what they talked about: but you told me too that you stayed with him?

bruce, who started running facial recognition as soon as he couldn't find anything about tim's uncle: tim, please tell me you didn't hire an actor to be your guardian

feat. jason choking on his drink

it would be so funny😭 we need to talk about it more

[ponderingmoonlight]

Reader and Sanemi going from hating to marrying each other + meeting up with the Kamado family post infinity castle

Pairing: Sanemi x fem!reader

Word Count: 2,2k

Synopsis: Gosh, you hated that guy. Just the way the wind hashira talked to you pushed you over the edge far too often. Little did you know that you'll feel different about that hot-tempered man after everything is over, that you'll find yourself convincing your husband to meet the Kamado family...

Warnings: THIS IS SPOILER FREE Y'ALL, I wrote this without ANY spoilers in it, so none of the outcome is what actually happens in the manga like that (I actually aim for a spoiler-free blog so anime onlys don't have to worry, death of basically every other hashira, language, angst to fluff

Special thanks to cutie patootie @effetsecndaires for that super cute suggestion 🤍

„Me and that guy?“

„Yeah, there’s ain’t no way I’m working with that spoiled brat-„

„Who are you to call me spoiled, you prick-“

“Did you just call me prick you little-“

“Can you two just stop?”, Giyu mumbles under his breath, all pairs on eyes set on you and the wind hashira who is only inches away from your face by know.

God, how much you hate that guy. Since the first time you saw him beating up a bunch of innocent demon slayer to now where you literally feel his urge to slap you right into your face, you can’t stand him. Out of all skilled demon slayers, why does it have to be him? How did he even achieve the status of a pillar in the first place?

“Stay the hell out of it, Tomioka”, Sanemi barks at the water hashira in an instant.

“Stop acting like a jerk. Don’t you get that nobody will ever like you if you treat them like that!?”

“Not liking me? Look at you, (y/n). You’re a total loser.”

“Take that back right now!”

“That’s enough, stop already”, Gyomei finally speaks out.

Oh, you couldn’t care less about the stone hashira lifting himself off the ground or the thick tension that fills the air. Out of instinct, you yank towards, your fist aiming straight for his face. That little fucker will pay for every single insult, for every time he put you down-

“I said enough, (y/n).”

“Let go of me!”, you cry out when Gyomei catches you mid-air.

“You heard him, (y/n). Enough is enough”, Sanemi jeers at you with a slight grin.

Oh, how much you would have given to get teased by Sanemi Shinazugawa like that one last time. How desperately you wish you could turn back time to see all their faces again. When all of you arrived within the infinity castle, you knew you might not make it out alive, that some of your beloved friends will eventually never find their way out.

“Sanemi!”, you cried into the countless chambers around you, eyes aimlessly searching for the man your eyes locked with just seconds ago.

“(y/n)!”, he shouted from afar.

Where is he? Is he safe? What if you’ll never see him again? You swallowed hard, desperately trying to stop your dumb eyes from watering. What if…you’ll never see Sanemi again?

“Where are you?”

“Don’t you dare to die on me here!”, he yelled on top of his lungs.

Before eventually, he stopped replying.  Before you faced countless demons on your own, all at once.

You would have never imagined that those crazy eyes you hated so much since joining the chosen circle of hashira would be the ones you’ll see last before your lifeless body collapses onto the floor.

“No, you can’t leave me like that. Not you too, (y/n). Get yourself together and fight!”, he hissed through gritted teeth while grabbing your body tightly.

“S…Sanemi?”

What a relief it was to fall asleep in his muscular arms.

And what a surprise it was to wake up with him by your side again.

“I’m so tired”, you mumbled before being able to even think straight.

Everything hurt. From your little toe to your shoulder, over your torso and your crushed leg. It feels like you just returned from a trip to hell.

“You’re awake.”

Don’t so familiar voice that suddenly sounds so soft and broken, that maniac orbs that suddenly turned…hurt. Is Sanemi Shinazugawa crying?

“Are you okay?”, you croaked.

What about the others? Are they safe? Did you make it? What about Muzan, the upper moons, Tanjiro and his sister? Your brain threatens to give him, a breathtaking wave of nausea close to hit you with full force.

“Dumbass, look at yourself first. Are you okay?”

Gently, he caressed your cheek with his bruised knuckles, forcing your heart to skip a beat. Is this really the Sanemi Shinazugawa you know and hate?

Hate?

You furrow your eyebrows. Did you really hate him those past few weeks when you sat together after training past after midnight? Did you really hate him when fighting against those demons, when he was all you were able to think about? When on earth did you start un-hating him?

“I’m fine…But…the others?”

Just the way he shakes his head in defeat is enough for you to know. You swallow hard. All the people you loved…Mitsuri who always braided your hair, Shinobu always stitched you up after another fight with Sanemi, Giyu who always scolded you for acting out like that. Tanjiro, Nezuko, Gyomei, Obanai, Muichiro…Are all of them gone?

Suddenly you fail to breathe. Your friends, your found-family.

Everything’s gone.

“Hey, don’t panic.”

Did they suffer? How many people were forced to die in that senseless war?

“Look at me, (y/n).”

You can’t catch your breath, shaky hands clinging onto Sanemi’s sleeve for what feels like dear life.

“(y/n).”

He grabs your face with both of his hands. And all of the sudden, everything around you starts to get calm.

“It will be alright. Not today, not even tomorrow or next week. But we’ll get through this together.”

“I hate you”, you breathe out while getting lost in the new-found peace his eyes radiate.

“I hate you too”, he mumbles.

Why do his lips suddenly look so inviting, roaming closer and closer? Why do you enjoy the way he holds your face in place with his rough hands, how he stares at you in distress?

But there’s something apart from distress, a new-found feeling you’ve never seen before.

“More than anything else”, you add.

“Absolutely, yes.”

And then his lips crash into yours. Longingly, almost desperate Sanemi Shinazugawa kisses you with every fiber of his being, allows his body to finally give him. He never allowed himself a single positive thought when it came to you, always hated every minor thing you did. Until the infinity castle made him realize what he truly feels for you, that he needs to catch a taste of your forward lips before it is too late.

That was exactly one year ago.

“What’s on your mind again?”, Sanemi mumbles into your hair while staring into the sunset and holding you tight.

“Oh, I was just thinking about how much you hated me back then”, you chuckle.

What a relief it is. Being able to watch the sunset without fearing the night. Being able so live another day with your husband by your side.

Your husband, Sanemi Shinazugawa.

“I wonder what they would think, seeing us like that”, Sanemi comments dryly.

“Oh, they wouldn’t believe us.”

“Absolutely not, nah.”

“But I bet they’d be proud, right? I’m sure it’s fine that we’re doing okay…”

“You’re talking nonsense again, (y/n). Why would they ever be mad at us for living our lives?”

“Because they couldn’t.”

You swallow the lump that forms itself deep in your throat down. Not a single day went by without you thinking about your comrades. How they always had to keep the two of you separated, how much fun you’ve had despite the circumstances.

But now, there’s only you and Sanemi left. And Tanjiro Kamado.

“I think we should pay the Kamado family a visit”, you add before thinking about it any further.

To this day, Sanemi refused to meet up with Tanjiro and his sister. Maybe because he still hates the boy with the scar, maybe because seeing Tanjiro means being confronted with his past all over again. Over and over, you begged him to go, to make sure both of them are doing alright.

“Didn’t I say no 100 times already?”, Sanemi grumbles behind you.

“Well, you said you hate me at least 100 times as well and still, I’m here”, you bite back.

Sanemi shifts his weight, his muscles tense behind your back. You know too well that this isn’t easy for him, that seeing Tanjiro means getting confronted with a part of his past he’s so eager to forget. But the Kamado family never gave up their hope, always keeps their doors open if Sanemi does decide on meeting them someday.

“That’s not the same, idiot.”

“Sanemi.”

You turn around and cup his face gently with both hands.

“Maybe you should pay him a visit. We didn’t see him in a long time.”

“Why would I care though? It’s not like I liked that kid at one point”, he barks back at you.

You let out your breath. Despite the fact that infinity castle made both of you softer, Sanemi still didn’t lose his stubbornness and attitude. Well, so did you.

“You wanna act like an asshole? Go ahead, then. I’ll leave tomorrow morning, with or without you.”

Without another word, you get up and make your way back into the house. How frustrating living with him can be. But still…The past is scarry, maybe even too much too bear. After today, you won’t speak up about visiting the Kamado family again.

-the next day-

“Nezuko!”

She doesn’t hear you. The girl with the wavy black hair tied into a knot, her tender eyes focused on the garden in front of her feet. How breathtakingly gorgeous she is, a true beauty just like back then.

“Nezuko!”, you cry out again, waving at her like an idiot.

Back then, she saved your life by almost sacrificing her own. Even though you weren’t as kind as the other hashiras, the Kamado family always stood by your side and believed in you. Seeing her so unbothered and happy forces a wave of tears up your eyes, makes your vision go foggy.

Thanks to your comrades, all of this is over now.

“(y/n)!”, the girl finally greets you while mindlessly dropping her sickle and dashing towards you.

“(y/n), is it really you? I can’t believe it!”, Nezuko breathes out.

“Yeah, the original”, you giggle.

She still wears the same patterns she did back then. But her eyes, they look so different. Nezuko really is fully human again. You can’t stop a single tear rolling down your eyes. And all of this, only due to the sacrifice of your friends.

“No, don’t you cry, (y/n)! Not when both of us should be happy”, Nezuko croaks out, a thin coat of tears now covering her very own eyes.

“Those are happy tears. I’m so sorry for not visiting you sooner, it’s just…”

Yes, what is it? Did you hesitate because Sanemi wasn’t ready, because he refused over and over to accompany you? No, you yourself needed that time to heal, to get over all the terror and suffering you’ve been through.

“You don’t have to apologize at all. After all, Tanjiro and I needed some time to adjust to this new life as well. Do you mind me asking how Shinazugawa-sama is?”

“Sanemi? He’s doing okay. But he isn’t ready yet…”

“Of course, I get that! But there’s no need to rush, right? After all, we now have plenty of time left”, Nezuko replies with that oh so gentle grin plastered onto her face.

“(y/n), is that you?”

Your heart skips a beat. Oh, you’d recognize that voice from everywhere with its unwavering optimism and tender undertones.

“Long time no see, Kamado Tanjiro.”

In the matter of seconds, you find yourself embraced into a tight hug, surrounded by nothing but the signature ichimatsu pattern that burned itself into your brain.

“Oh my, I’m so sorry for casually hugging you like this, (y/n)-sama!”, he adds in a haste, quickly letting go of you and bowing.

“I’m not a hashira anymore, Tanjiro. And both of us are equal. Well, now that I think of it, I should be the one who bows in front of you”, you contradict jokingly.

“It’s so nice to finally see you again! How are you?”

“I’m doing alright. Sanemi and I, we worked quite hard to renovate his estate after what happened. These past few months, we enjoyed watching the sunsets for the very first time in ages”, you explain briefly.

“I couldn’t believe my ears when I heard that the two of you married. It makes me beyond happy you found your luck, (y/n).”

“Don’t you dare making my wife cry, brat.”

Your eyes widen, heartbeat instantly picking up. You’d recognize that voice out of a thousand people. When you turn around, you get greeted by the annoyed expression of none other than your husband.

“Sanemi”, you breathe out.

Did he follow you? When did he decide on meeting the Kamado’s? You’ve been bugging him for ages, almost begging him to pay Tanjiro and Nezuko a visit.

And now he stands there, arms casually crossed in front of his chest.

“Shinazugawa-sama, what a honor-“

“Spare me with that bullshit”, Sanemi interrupts the boy immediately.

“Just tell me how you’re doing.”

Oh. Your eyes threaten to overfill with joy all over again, Sanemi’s arm now wrapped around your waist tightly. Just 2 years ago, you didn’t even think about the possibility to even like Sanemi, to look after the Kamado’s.

But this is your life now. Your oh so sweet life.

“You might have been right. Maybe this isn’t so bad after all”, Sanemi whispers into your ear.

“So, does that mean you finally don’t hate me anymore.”

“That’s a bit out of line, Kamado. You’re still a brat, after all.”

Tags: @chilichopsticks @hellkaiserinphoenix  @ynackerman9499 @keepghostly @beatrexworld

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[kittyfrisk9]

IdeaDpxDc- The petition

Note: Sorry, I don't know English, so please use a translator. I apologize if you don't get the idea.

Nightwing receives a very strange request from a child. Dead On Main (implied)

---

It happened on the rooftop of some building, when Nightwing was taken by surprise by the strange request from his brother's boyfriend's younger brother.

"Are you part of the Bats, huh?" the kid asked, crossing his arms and staring intently.

"Yeah," Nightwing replied, smiling with a slight nod. "How can I help you?"

"I need your help. Investigate my brother's boyfriend," he said, frowning.

"What?" Nightwing responded, raising an eyebrow, visibly surprised.

"I'm usually very good at stalking people," he continued, pacing back and forth, "but this guy, Jason, he's really suspicious. He's hiding something, I know it. I tried to follow him to find out what he's hiding, but he caught me!" He stopped and looked at the other with frustration. "He's done it ten times already. No one's caught me that many times! Well, except Danny the idiot, but he doesn't count," he added, waving a hand as if it were a trivial detail. "Danny's too stupid to suspect anything," he said, looking worriedly at the ground. "I can see it in his eyes, love has blinded him." He looked up, with a serious expression. "What if his boyfriend turns out to be a trafficker and wants to steal his organs? Or gets him into drugs? Or is some kind of criminal mastermind?" He sighed, crossing his arms again. "I've noticed his questionable behaviors. I don't trust that guy."

"I see. You're worried about your older brother, you're a sweet kid," Nightwing commented with a smile as he leaned against the edge of the building, looking out over the illuminated city.

"I'm not a kid and I'm not worried! I'm an adult, I'm older than you!" the boy retorted indignantly, crossing his arms.

Nightwing raised an eyebrow, amused. "Oh, how old are you?"

"... 30," the young man murmured, avoiding eye contact.

Nightwing chuckled. "You look 12."

The boy frowned, clearly annoyed. "I'm not here to talk about my age. Are you going to do the job or not?" He took a step forward, his tone impatient.

Nightwing raised his hands in surrender. "Haha, okay, okay. What makes you think your brother, Danny, is in danger?" Straightening up, he looked at the young man more seriously, ready to listen.

"He met him on a dating app. That's not weird, but when he introduced me, the guy was huge. Big, and Danny's a twig," the young man started, looking at Nightwing seriously. "I know he's 19, but genetics decided to abandon him." He mocked the boy.

Nightwing raised an eyebrow, curious but still confused. "And that's suspicious because...?"

The boy raised a hand to stop him. "Wait, let me finish." He approached the rooftop's edge, looking out at the city. "The guy not only is huge but also knows how to fight. I threw eggs at him and he dodged every single one. And he beat me in a fight!"

"Pff, you threw eggs at him?" Nightwing asked with a raised eyebrow, trying not to laugh at the idea of seeing Jason covered in eggs. The young man gave him a annoyed look. "Okay, okay, don't get mad. What else do you have to tell me?"

The boy continued firmly: "He also knows how to use weapons. Danny and that guy went to a shooting range for one of their dates. I followed them, and that guy was as good as Danny! Not only that," the boy added, turning to look directly at Nightwing. "I saw him threaten someone once, and he seems to have contacts with Red Hood. No normal person has contacts with a crime lord." Warning, emphasizing the danger it implied.

"Yeah, that says a lot," Nightwing agreed, while in his mind he wondered why Jason had taken Danny to a shooting range. There were better places for a date. "I understand, I'll look into it. What's your name, kid?" He asked, more for appearances' sake.

"Dante Nightingale," he replied. "I'll wait for you here on Thursday at the same time for the report," he ordered. This attitude reminded him so much of Damian; maybe he should introduce them.

"Alright, boss," Nightwing joked, then jumped to another building. Tonight he'd have a lot of material to tease Jason with; his brother-in-law didn't trust him. Haha.

---

Note: Sorry, I don't know English, so please use a translator. I apologize if you don't get the idea.

[togament]

suo. sakura. umemiya. togame. pt. 1

"...and the biggest fattest one too. How'd it take him so long to figure it out? What did it take for him to finally realize?"

𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐑𝐄𝐃𝐈𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐒: FLUFF FLUFF FLUFF, general cute stuff really. There isn't much to warn about :o!!! gn!reader, Togame is tall and awkward and cute and and--, Ume's precious as always!

𝐒𝐔𝐎.

✦ when he’s doting on you way more, putting your wants over everything else.

He's attending to your every need even before you realize you even need it in the first place. Need tissues? He's already pulling them out of his bag. Got a migraine? He's already handing you a water bottle and an ibuprofen. He does it so naturally too like it's second nature to him.

✦ when he uncharacteristically gets heated when someone tries to harm you.

Listen. He's usually so, SO calm even in the most intense situations, always ready to analyze before acting--a real brain over heart typa guy. But when he finds you being cornered at an alleyway? He's sprinting towards you to beat whoever's planning on hurting you without even thinking twice. Someone's bothering you in town? He's shadowing you, protecting and keeping watch.

✦ he catches himself being flustered, blushing and folding at the sight of you.

Suo rarely shows any intense emotions. If anything, it's always just a slight smile and a little teasing remark here and there. But around you though? He's smiling widely, cheeks blushing. It's hard to hide sometimes. Goodness. He needs to keep himself in check, he often thinks. He doesn't want you to find out yet. Not yet.

────────────────────────────────────────────

𝐔𝐌𝐄𝐌𝐈𝐘𝐀.

✦ when he looks for you FIRST whenever he achieves something, whenever he's having a bad day--for literally EVERYTHING.

his immediate thought is you. Every time. When he sees the hybrid tomato plant you both grew from seed blooming, he's immediately sending you photos. When he's having one of those nights, tossing and turning in his sleep, thoughts keeping him awake, the only thing that's tethering him down to earth is you.

✦ when he sees you get along with the family that he built for himself.

Ume is never subtle when it comes to this. My god. He's blushing, tripping over his words, movements ever so stiff--it's very unusual to see Ume in this state. He's just so happy to see you interacting with everybody, loving each member as much as he does. He can't just swoop you off your feet and kiss you right? Not right now. Not when he's been silently pining for you for years.

✦ when he realizes his thoughts about his future always has you in it.

He often talks about his future with others, what his plans are after he graduates, where he wants to go, what restaurants to go to. Everyone notices how his thoughts always seem to gravitate towards you, always easing you into his plans with a pensive little, "Hm. Y'think they'd like to go here too? I heard them talking about the spot a couple times!", "Maaaan I wanna go here with them soon. Should I just book the tickets? Surprise them? Yeah I think I should!" Everyone's just waiting for a confession at this point, really.

────────────────────────────────────────────

𝐒𝐀𝐊𝐔𝐑𝐀.

✦ when random things remind him of you.

he could be on their daily patrols, passing by some shops and his mind would drift off to you and how you would look in the shirt he passed by, how your face would probably light up at the taste of the anpan they're selling down the street. Goodness you never leave his mind. Day dreams about it sometimes. Suo and Nirei has caught him multiple times doing so. Always ends with an extremely flustered Sakura.

✦ when he thinks he hears your laughter or your voice, his head snaps towards the direction of the sound.

just like the above! But it's your voice. Nirei thinks Sakura's just on guard by how often he looks around quickly but Suo points out Sakura's reddening cheeks and they immediately know he's thinking about you again. Wants to fish his phone out of his pocket with trembling (and blushing) fingers to ask you where you are. Y'know... Just in case you run into trouble.

✦ when he gave you the other half of his food (he hasn't taken a single bite yet)

Sakura sometimes eats for at least 5 people so to have him offer half of his food to you when you're out eating is saying something. His hands are blushing and trembling as he's trying his best to steady them, slicing a portion of his food to place it on your plate. Of course, you give him the other half of your food too. Of course he's a blushing mess.

────────────────────────────────────────────

𝐓𝐎𝐆𝐀𝐌𝐄.

✦ finds every excuse possible to be close to you. (Subtly.)

Ever noticed how Togame always seems to bump into you at spots you and your friends frequent? How he so happened to pass by the Furin school after your classes are dismissed? Gosh you're his first real crush so he doesn't know what to do with all these feelings. He wants to see you and see you often. He awkwardly and adorably tries his damndest not to seem too obvious when he's trying to see you more to strike up a conversation but his blushing (and tall frame) doesn't help his case.

✦ when he always talks about you to the old men at the public baths he frequents.

Togame's a quiet guy. He rarely ever yaps, always getting cut off mid-sentence since he talks so.. SO slow. But when it's about you, his normal 0.75x speaking speed goes up to a full 1.0x or even, dare I say, 1.25x. He's smiling ear to ear, voice with an uncharacteristic shine to it while he's playing shogi with one of the old men. They already adore you before they even meet you. They often give Togame advice too--bring you your favorite flowers, they suggest. Take you out for a festival date, they suggest. "Soon," Togame responds, scratching the back of his neck, "M'nervous though. I can pull it off ri--" "Of course you can, kame-kun." he looks at the old men with the softest, most lovestruck eyes they've ever seen. Soon. He'll make his very first move.

✦ has caught himself staring at you from afar, smiling to himself like a damn lovesick puppy.

...on multiple ocassions, might I add. You could be yapping away with the Bofurin members, talking animatedly about the most mundane things, arms flinging to and fro to get your point across, snort laughing and head thrown back. Togame's just sat just outside the group, ever the introvert. Face propped on his hand, heart practically melting. He doesn't realize he's doing this before Choji points it out. Loudly. He's immediately looking in the other direction, blush creeping up his neck as he struggles to keep the smaller Shishitoren member in check. While he's preoccupied, it's your turn to stare back at him, hiding a blush behind your hand. Suo notices this and points it out. Now the both of you are flustered messes.

a/n: tried my hand at a new layout!! eeeee inspired by my favorite perfume house but we're not opening that can of worms right now, lest I yap. ANYWHOSIES thank you, dear reader, for getting this far. I am smooching your forehead tenderly with consent.