#another friend (not ace or Aro spectrum as far as I know but prev ID before lesbian) was talking about friends to lovers today too | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

egregiousderp · 9 hours ago

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I’d love to see what your class has to say, yeah!

I was honestly just delighted with the tags and ready to wave around Cs Lewis’ Allegory of Love. I feel like people know his Christian Stuff and his stories but really gloss over some of the fun stuff he did about medieval chivalry. (It’s actually probably closer to kink or misassumptions people have about kink? Insofar as it’s all about showing your obedience to your lord by having his wife issue orders at you that you obey without question? Which makes The Green Knight all the more interesting. But is that duty or is it love? Similarly, certain ancient treaties for Vassal States use words for Love between the conquering, presumably protective, nation, and the under-city.

“Love” and “Friendship” do indeed have nebulous inter-mixing in the Ace/Aro spec lens. We use “Love” for so many things, and sometimes slap “Friendship” on aggressive mutual desire manipulations.

[guy who is aromantic voice] sexual attraction just makes more sense than romantic attraction. like ok, you want to fuck someone. this is quantifiable. it is quite easy to grasp what "i want to fuck someone" looks like, even if you have no idea what it feels like. romantic attraction, though? this is a nebulous construct which seems to largely be "glorified friendship with sex" in the popular imagination. what even is the difference between friendship and romance? the line between friendship and sexual attraction, though both can coexist, is that when there's sexual attraction present, you want to fuck someone. the line between friendship and romantic attraction, so far as i can perceive it within a heteronormative, amatonormative framework, is that it is... friendship where you want to fuck someone. what?

#I won’t clog poor OP’s tags and reblogs much more #sorry OP #I just wonder how many of the Ace/Aro peeps take a class like this going THE FUCK IS UP WITH THIS?#another friend (not ace or Aro spectrum as far as I know but prev ID before lesbian) was talking about friends to lovers today too #and the whole ‘do people really think that’s boring?’#there’s a softer world comic I wanted to print and put on my fridge #‘hey I don’t know what true love is anyway/but I know Inwant to hang out with you/for the rest of my life’#or for me talking to my dad who had crushes on girls even when he was five #versus my own ‘did people really just say they wanted to be friends forever and not mean it?????’#the English language only having one word for Love and expecting it to encompass great variety leads to all sorts of misunderstandings #we’ll waffle back and forth on sexlessness or sexiness of friendships in history depending on censor #it’s like asking ‘did Newton really die a virgin?’ as multiple biographies like to say #while others point out what looks like evidence to the contrary #the conveyance of a depth of feeling relies so much on another person having that same depth of feeling

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