#they see an obvious guy and an obvious women and then they hear its more complicated than that and they short circuit

[cascadianights]

Absolutely baffling that when I talk about my partner (who is clocked as a cis male by the general public 90% of the time) the second some people realize he's trans they start using they/them?? Despite clear usage of he/him and their grasp of it before?

Then they struggle ENDLESSLY with using they/them for me bc even though I cut off 3/4 of the hair on my head and have more chest & body hair than the cis men I've dated, my hips and chest still clock me as female no matter what

[sweetsaladpainterranch]

The Rival

Summary: Alastor sought to possess one of the only does in Pentegram City for the rut season, however, you wanted a mate, not a master. But what happens when a handsome new buck shows up one day and tries to capture your attention away from the Radio Demon. Who will you choose?

(Just some practice at writing drama but I hope you enjoy)

You weren't stupid. You knew that Alastor would call upon you only because he needed a warm body to ride out his rut and not out of any naive sense of romance. Every few months you'd receive an unsurprising visit from the Radio Demon casually resting in your hotel room before whisking you off for a vigorous week of reliving both of your heats. His earthy pheromones having triggered your own. It was usually obvious when Alastor would arrive because you could always feel fiery red eyes on your form and often noticed a dark presence shifting around in your peripheral vision. Of course, this would have freaked you out but it was also nice that you didn't have to go out of your way to avoid the numerous male cervid demons suffering through their own rut cycles of the season. Having never seen another female deer demon, you realized you were probably in for a bad time if one of those desperate bastards got a hold of you. So you didn't mind a little extra security as you went about your business. 

The very moment you walked through your door, an almost overwhelming scent of a warm, mossy, musk invaded your senses as waves of static washed over you. "Ah, there's my pretty doe. How was your day out my love?", Alastor greeted you in his typical cheery voice that made your heart flutter, but you knew the sweet-sounding pet name was only a product of his possessive manipulation. He knew very well how you reacted to his charm and he had no qualms about using it to gain your sexual compliance. "Oh, you know, quiet as Hell can be." You sat across from him on an armchair and smirked at the bittersweet domestic feeling as his shadow appeared next to you with a tea cup and a small bowl of sugar cubes. You scratched its shadowy scalp with gratitude as you took the offered drink, "And thank you for the company lately", you cooed to its delighted purrs. 

Alastor cleared his throat to get both of your attention as he began, "Yes, well”, he suddenly appeared in front of your chair and bent down to your eye level, "your protection would prove much easier if you would simply make a deal with me so that all of those pathetic weaklings would know who you belonged to." You didn't miss how his voice deepened into a static-filled threat but that didn't stop you from brushing away his outstretched hand as you stood up to put away your things. Of course, Alastor had been trying to get you to agree to a deal since the beginning of your...relationship(?), however, you had seen and known many people who deeply regretted making a deal with him. You knew he only wanted the same thing as every other cervid guy, regardless of how you felt about him. He didn't want a mate to love and protect. He wanted to possess the rare commodity of a breedable doe for himself.

 "I don't belong to anyone, Alastor.", you snapped, "You already give me protection from other males in exchange for my working you through your heat." He let out a dismissive chuckle when you shimmied your ample chest, but you saw the slight blush creeping across his face at the visions likely dancing through his mind. 

God, sometimes you wished there were more women deer around so that you could just live your fucking afterlife in peace. (But then, what if you'd never met Alastor and he had found another to see his ruts through?)

***

As you both headed downstairs to dinner, Alastor more so following you as was his habit during the season, you could hear Charlie loudly speaking to someone.

"Great! Well let's head o-", she was cut off by your entrance into the lobby which revealed a large figure sporting an impressive set of thick antlers. You could feel Alastor stiffen and tighten his hold on your shoulders. The scent of the visitor told you why. It was definitely another male deer, also nearing his heat like Alastor, and it was obvious that he must've followed your feminine smell here. Charlie began to walk towards you with a large smile, "Oh, hey there! I was actually just about to show our newest guest", she gestured in the stranger’s direction, "a tour and I'd love you to join us as other deer demons." She had a hopeful bounce in her step, "This is James.", who nodded and began to look you up and down with intensity. 

"Yes, I'm very interested in what your hotel may offer, Ms. Charlie." He was wearing a loose-fitting flannel shirt with his sleeves rolled up and a pair of worn jeans, but you could tell that he was absolutely jacked. His forearms alone looked like freaking tree trunks and he was easily taller than even Alastor with an equally enticing scent that made your stomach flip. James had begun to move further in your direction, however, a loud growl ripped through the lobby as ear-splitting static made everyone turn to its source behind you. 

"I'm afraid we've no vacancies at the moment.", he snarled, "Allow me to escort you towards the exit." Alastor had already begun to grow into his demonic form and used his shadow tendrils to violently eject the large buck onto the front lawn before anyone could make a sound. 

Charlie quickly darted after the two males, followed by you, only to be confronted by an impossibly odd sight. James stood tall without a scratch or sign of fear on him in the face of a giant, demonic Alastor. He even looked like he was all too happy to clap back with a strong, demonic aura of his own. However, the princess halted Alastor's intended strike with a burst of flames and a disappointed comment at his attitude towards a potential guest. And immediately apologized to James as she whirled around him checking for injuries, but none were to be found. 

Did Alastor take it easy on this guy? Why? He's always simply killed potential rival suitors, this one in his territory no less, so, why was he still alive?!

Charlie returned to the lobby, leading James by his massive arm, and proceeded to ask, a very pissed-looking, Alastor to fix the now broken doors as she led the two of you on a tour of the hotel. You could feel both James' smile and Alastor's silent rage boring into the back of your head as you walked with a clueless Charlie.

***

The intense air of murderous intent in between the two male cervids had only gotten worse over the next week after freaking deer Paul Bunion was placed in a room next to yours, which was across from Alastor’s. Charlie thought you'd be able to better connect another deer demon and maybe help him if needed, though she had no idea about the conflict she had placed in your lap.

James commented, during a group share circle, that he assumed that he was a Canadian reindeer, who was relatively new to Hell. He also made it clear that he simply didn't know, or care, who the Radio Demon was. The two constantly locked horns, both physically and metaphorically as the countdown to the rutting season was running out. You also found out through Angel Dust that Alastor was absolutely forbidden from using his power to injure a resident of the hotel. 

Which you assumed was why he didn't simply wipe James off the concrete outside like a pancake off a hot griddle. 

However, this didn't stop Alastor from staking his claim on you in other ways. For instance, he always had to have a hand on you somewhere. On your knee during group talks on the lobby couch, on your shoulder while you ate a meal, and on your lower back when he walked you from room to room. James didn’t seem to give too much of a fuck as he frequently kept at your other side and proceeded to continuously compliment you, give you small gifts, or make a particularly chapped joke that you couldn’t help but giggle and blush at. Of course, that usually resulted in being pulled closer into Alastor’s side away from the other male as he snarled and rubbed his face into your hair to try and mark you with his scent.  

You couldn’t lie. You very much enjoyed the attention of the two strong males as they vied for your affection and mating rights.

One early morning, while Alastor was forced to leave your side, in order to attend an overlord meeting, James found you in your rose garden behind the hotel and offered to help you plant your new buds. After a few minutes of digging and placing the rose roots, he spoke up, “Can I ask if youse and Alastor are an item?”. He smiled at your blushing expression and continued, “Not to offend ma’am, but I’d like to show you what a true buck is.”

Your eye twitched a bit at the insult towards Alastor, but you remained calm, “It's… complicated between us.”. James simply leaned in and smiled encouragingly, “Alastor isn’t exactly into relationships, but he takes care of me during the rut season.” 

“What about the rest of the time?”, he asked while bringing his face practically an inch from yours, “Does he make you feel like the forest queen you are? Or does he simply forget you until he needs something from you?” His steel eyes brightened in victory at your affirming face toward his questions, “I-I…um…”, you tried to defend your reasons for continuously coming back to Alastor again and again even though he couldn't care less about you during the rest of the year. 

He held your hand tenderly in one of his, while also cupping your cheek with the other and whispered, “Let me give you what you deserve, sweetheart. Love not possession. Tenderness, not indifference.” You were so absolutely enthralled by his deep voice and his potent musk that you could only stare blankly as he finally leaned in and softly pressed his lips against your own.

***

Hey, Again this is just some drama and relationship writing practice for a beginner class I'm taking.

-SSPR

[kelluinox]

Current mood as an anti Russia Russian jew:

- Watching western college kids spout the same propaganda you heard on channel one growing up

- Hearing chants of "Death to America" and seeing the destruction of the American flag and whispering "of course" to yourself because you know exactly where this rhetoric came from and who sponsored it

- Watching the world waste its time on a democratic country fighting back against terrorists instead of paying attention to the real evil in the world like Russia, Iran, or China, because... antisemitism is more entertaining and you guys haven't been allowed to kill jews in a while I guess

- Being frustrated by the protests because nobody exerted this much energy on Ukraine and everybody has already forgotten about Ukraine and it's so painfully obvious that you all just hate jews

- Remembering the time you sat in class and had to listen to your professor say shit like "America is the greatest evil", and "America is committing modern day colonialism through globalization and global market" and then comparing that rhetoric to that of the brainwashed western college kids'

- Being terrified of the upcoming 9th of May because you have no idea what kind of shit your country will pull on the 9th of May

- Being very familiar with Islamic fundamentalism because you live near Chechnya and for as long as you remember you have been witnessing the murder of human rights' activists, attacks on lawyers, and young women and girls trying to escape families who promised to honor kill them, mutilated them or poisoned them with medicine - some successfully crossing the border to Georgia but many more being dragged back to Chechnya from where they were hiding in Moscow and St Petersburg to their deaths

- And then watching the west pretend that there is no extremism or problems because then you will be called a bunch of names and obviously that's very scary 👍

- Realizing you have nowhere to run because the west has been thoroughly infiltrated and is digging itself a grave and hasn't stopped doing so for 8 months now

- Losing friends because they either fell for the propaganda and don't see the danger you see so clearly, or they are too cowardly to call out the mob and lose followers on social media. Even though losing followers will be the least of your fucking problems when you lose your democracy and freedoms

- Being furious 24/7 because more sane people aren't standing up, again afraid of the mob and losing their social media status

- Honestly just expecting to be bombed by now

[venomhound]

Hazbin Hotel - Lucifer Kink Headcanons

Personal kink headcanons for the ducky boy Lucifer. Not doing the more obvious/universally accepted kinks. Instead I'm writing about some of my more... niche takes.

Lucifer Lactation Kink Post now available >>HERE<<

Contents/WARNINGS: Gender neutral reader, but is AFAB for the last section; all the kinky shit obviously; discussion of Lucifer and Lilith's past relationship; self hatred and self punishment because Lucifer desperately needs therapy (18+), MDNI, NSFW below the cut ˋˏ✄┈┈┈┈

Exhibitionism/Public Sex ₊˚ ‿︵୨୧

I have it imbedded in my head that Lucifer has a hardcore exhibition/public-sex kink that he tries desperately to keep under wraps. Especially now that Charlie and him are talking again.

He isnt... exactly good at hiding it however. The biggest tell is how he seems to have no shame with how horny he is for you. Lucifer will playfully smack your ass as you walk by each other or invite you to come sit on his lap in front of others. I'm not kidding when I say he has no shame.

What does catch you off guard however is how easily it is to convince the King of Hell of all people to have sex in places he is at risk of getting caught. Once you two have been dating awhile Lucifer may even start to suggest such things himself.

Its not that he wants to be seen fucking you, oh no; he wants to get caught bent in half with you fucking him senseless. He wants desperately to have his head buried between your legs, worshipping you, while your in the middle of work or even a meeting...

Lucifer will have you pinned against a wall, both of your lips desperate from teasing. Then Lucifer will just drop to his knees in front of you. You panic a bit, asking what he is doing. You both are in a hallway that anyone can walk into after all. Lucifer just smiles up at you and tells you to trust him; let him be a good boy and make you feel good.

An aspect of it is definitely a sense of self degradation/self hatred after everything that has happened to him; seeing himself as a pathetic cockslut, a whore who corrupted both of the first women. The other part is he wants to show the entire world just how good he is for you. How good he can make you feel. How much of a good boy he is for you. Only for you...

On that note...

✿°•∘୨୧∘•°✿‿✿°•∘୨୧∘•°✿‿✿°•∘୨୧∘•°✿

Humiliation ₊˚ ‿︵୨୧

This might seem counterintuitive at first as the sin of Pride. But hear me out here. Like any kink, its a spectrum. For Lucifer, its not about actually disgracing the guy, no. Its about taunting him. Teasing, mocking; riling him up until he snaps and shows you just how good he can fuck.

As implied before, Lucifer is kind of a horndog when it comes to you. Especially when it comes to you. An easy way to rile him up is to start reciprocating his touches then pull back. This pairs wonderfully with his whole exhibitionism kink. True, he doesn't want to actually get caught, but he is more then willing to risk it.

Run your hand up his thigh under the table when you two are at dinner, position yourself just right so he gets an eyefull when you bend over, or start eating something a little too provocatively. Lucifer will be hard as a rock and eyefucking you immediately.

Then when Lucifer starts getting handsy, pull away. Whisper in his ear that he needs to be a good boy and wait until you get home as he whimpers in protest. Rinse and repeat.

By the time you two get home, Lucifer cant even wait until the door is closed before pouncing you. He had been waiting for so long it felt like. Now he wants to make both of you cum again and again, until neither of you can say anything but the other's name, and you never, ever, want to tease him like that again. (You always do of course.)

While Lucifer may be all about being a good boy, he can also be an absolute brat. Not even in the sexual sense, Lucifer just is snobbish without meaning to be. Like think when he first went to the Hotel and was struggling not to insult it then called Charlie's friends losers. Guy is just snooty.

This provides many wonderful opportunities to put him in his place. Quietly warn Lucifer that he needs to stop what he is doing or tone it down. Then if he continues, oohh will he regret it later. He had fair warning after all...

Later you'll have him bent over your knee, his hands bound and whole body jolting with every violent smack you give his ass. Lucifer's moans and sobs bleed into eachother as he promises not to do it again. Promises to do better.

Or you can edge him. Edge him until he is a sobbing, pleading mess. You tell him only good boys get to cum as you sit back and masturbate over his bound body. Lucifer writhes desperately begging to let him taste you, touch you, anything, as he ruts up into the empty air.

You can take pity on him. Finally letting the devil cum with you as he deliriously babbles praises and thank yous. Or. You can be the brat for once. See how far you can push him. Bringing him to the edge, over and over for hours. Every muscle in his body trembling uncontrollably, his eyes glazed and unfocused, bloodshot from all the tears. You finally let him cum when you hear him mumble pleads to heaven. Lucifer resorting to begging the place and people that had forsaken him long ago in his unhinged state.

✿°•∘୨୧∘•°✿‿✿°•∘୨୧∘•°✿‿✿°•∘୨୧∘•°✿

Panty Sniffing₊˚ ‿︵୨୧

Look. We all know Luci is a pussy devourer. The man loves it and can't get enough of it. But that's been discussed to death and not why we are here.

He...isnt exactly sure when this started. Lucifer just knows that it happened at some point when Lilith and him were growing apart. Sex had become nonexistent between them; and Lucifer, not wanting to pressure or bother Lilith, started taking her used undergarments to help him fulfill his... needs.

Now that Lilith is out of the picture, Lucifer has been left with the aftermath of a mean panty sniffing kink. Oooo boy has she created a monster without realizing it.

Its the first thing on Lucifer's mind as soon as he takes an interest in someone. What kind of underwear are they wearing? What color? How long have they been wearing them? How wet are they?

This man has now been cursed with the knowledge of how well he can smell and taste the individual pussy that wore the underwear. Its like every pair has been embalmed with the essence of the person that wore it.

Lucifer doesn't like to think of himself as greedy, he will take what he can get. If that means swiping a pair of underwear from your laundry or even your room if he gets the chance, he will.

Lucifer will push the underwear into his face and inhale as deep as he can, his eyes rolling into the back of his head. God, you smell amazing. Now he is just even more desperate to taste you...

So he tries. Lucifer kitten licks at the inside, where your cunt would sit, deliriously trying to get a taste of you. Lucifer moans when he manages to get a hint of your essence. You taste even better then he imagined.

Lucifer feverishly shoves your panties into his mouth, using it as a makeshift gag. Both of his hands rush to his cock; rock hard and aching just from the small taste he got of you. No time is wasted.

Lucifer throws his head back, arching upwards, his hands almost violently working at his shaft. The normally obscene moans he would be letting out are now muffled whimpers.

Lucifer franticly sucks the fabric in his mouth, playing and swirling at it with his tongue. Pretending its actually you he is playing with, your beautiful pussy in his mouth. Lucifer's ministrations completely saturate the garment with his saliva. Rewarding him with every bit of your taste that could possibly be wringed out of the fabric.

If/when Lucifer does finally manage to bed you, he 100% nicks your panties. You might think its a trophy thing; and while that might be true in the tiniest percent, its actually because Lucifer wants them as a memento of the night with you. He wants them so he can relive that mindblowing night.

Lucifer will have the underwear wrapped around his hard-on, using it as a cocksleeve while he desperately fists his weeping member. His eyes are glazed over as his mind goes back to that night. God. He wants you. He wishes so bad you were his.

But he will take what he can get.

✿°•∘୨୧∘•°✿‿✿°•∘୨୧∘•°✿‿✿°•∘୨୧∘•°✿

AN: This was supposed to go up like almost a full week ago but TUMBLR HAD TO BREAK ALL THEIR TAGS YAY

[creamsickle-writes]

Forbidden Fruit: Shanks x F!Reader

Tags: nsfw, Modern!AU, AGE GAPS (at one point he mentions he's old enough to be reader's dad), mentions of creampies/breeding, dirty talk, daddy kink, sex toys, and phone sex

Thank you @aces-sweetheart for making this post which inspired me to write this fic!

Click here for part two!

You were desperate.

After looking for a boyfriend for so long, you were getting frustrated. Boys at your college seemed dull to you, and online dating was a total bust; finding companionship seemed impossible for you.

You wanted something romantic, sure, but right now, you needed something more sexual. You hadn’t been laid in god knows how long, and the sexual energy within you had reached its bursting point.

You thought to yourself as you lay in bed; you could’ve used one of your many toys to get you off, but that was growing old. You wanted someone to be there with you.

You chewed at your lip, trying to decide what to do with your frustrated self.

Until an idea popped into your mind.

Maybe you didn’t have a companion, but that didn’t mean you couldn’t buy some services to replicate the experience.

Immediately you perked up and began searching for online cams and various male voice-over actors you could listen to. 

But after looking at those, you decided that wasn’t quite right either…

That’s when you see a targeted ad about a phone sex hotline. You raised your brows; you had never considered doing something like that before… but the more you thought about it, the more appealing it sounded.

You clicked the number on the search engine page without even thinking it through.

You almost hang up, but you’re greeted by an automated voice.

“Welcome!” It cheerily rings, “You have reached The New World Chat Line! Please select one if you are interested in women, two of you are interested in men.”

You debate hanging up right then, but with shaky fingers, you select ‘two.’

The silence is loud, but eventually, you hear that automated voice again.

“Please select one of our many male operators to chat with!”

The phone begins repeating back various profiles that the men had recorded themselves. There were many different guys, each with their own list of kinks and physical descriptions. You chewed your lip as you listened; some were interesting but not enough to get you to bite the bullet.

That is, until you hear a deep, raspy voice. 

“Hey there,” It starts, “You can call me Akagami. Uh, let’s see, I’ve got red hair, and I’m a little over six foot… I think I’m around six foot six?”

Your eyes bulged; he considered that “a little” over?

“I’m looking for sweet girls that like to play with older men. Real innocent, cute types are perfect for my style of play. I want to guide a girl, teach her everything from how to squirt to how to please me-“

You don’t need to hear anymore. You want this guy now.

Pressing ‘one’ on impulse, the phone begins to ring.

It doesn’t take long before there’s an answer.

“Hey there, sweet thing,” he says it with a familiarity that causes your body to heat up.

“U-Uh, hi-“ you want to smack yourself as your voice comes out way too squeaky and high-pitched.

He laughs on the other end, but you can tell it’s all in good fun, not out of malice.

“And how are you doing today, princess?”

“Uhm,” you pick at the hem of your shirt as you lay on your back, “I’m feeling a bit lonely. I wanted to talk to someone…”

You can hear the smile in his voice, “Is that right? So you decided to talk to me? I’m flattered.”

“Mhm…” you trail off, not sure how to get the ball rolling. 

But fortunately for you, he’s a natural. 

“Honey, you sound a bit young,” he starts, “How old are you?”

“O-Old enough!”

He chuckles, “So you’re a younger girl.”

Your face burns bright red. Were you seriously so obvious that he could read you so easily? 

“Hm, don’t worry, your little secret is safe with me.” He purrs it into the phone, and your body shivers at his tone, “Is this your first time calling for this kind of thing?”

“Um, yeah…”

He chuckles lowly, and your heart skips a beat, “Don’t worry, we can talk about anything you want. It can get sexy, it can get sad, hell, you could just tell me about your day; I’m all ears.”

You smile a bit at his words, your nerves starting to disappear. 

“Well, I called because, like I said, I’m kinda lonely…” you pause as you debate what you want to say, “I’ve been trying to find a boyfriend but no luck…”

You hear him “aww” as he listens, and you talk a bit about your dating struggles, how college has been challenging, and how you’re up to your limit with how sexually frustrated you are. 

“Things can be rough at your age. I remember I had a hard time when I was in college…”

“How old are you?” You chirp up, and he laughs. 

“Curious? I’m 40 now.”

You hummed, “You’re old enough to be my dad.”

“Yeah?” He chuckles, “I kind of figured that.”

“It’s kinda…” you swallow, unsure how to finish your sentence without dying of shame. 

“Kinda what?” He pushes, and you can practically hear his smirk, “Go ahead.”

Your core lit up at his words, “Even though you’re almost twice my age- no because you’re almost twice my age… it’s really getting me worked up.”

He growls, “Yeah? You like fantasizing about older guys?”

“I-I do-” you whimper, “My dad has a friend… I’ve always found him attractive…”

“Sounds like you’ve always had a thing for older men.”

“Always.”

He groans at that, “Dirty little girl… don’t you know it’s girls like you that make things so tempting for guys like me? We want to take advantage of cute things like you who have no idea what you’re getting into…”

You bite your lip, “But I want you to take advantage of me.”

“Fuck-” he hisses, “Alright, I don’t know if I can take the idle conversation anymore, princess. You’re making me so hard right now.”

You swallow, working up the courage to make the first move, “Can you tell me how hard you are? Please?”

Your core flutters at the grunt that comes from the other end of the line.

“It’s getting really hard, baby. My pants feel so tight right now just listening to your sweet voice say such dirty things.”

He groans, and your ears perk up at the sound of fabric shuffling in the background. Your heartbeat accelerated at the action.

You squeeze your thighs together, trying to relieve any discomfort that grew between your legs at his words.

And with that, there’s a click from the phone. 

“Hello?”

“To continue, please enter payment information.”

Shit. Your free minutes ran out. 

You scrambled to grab your wallet on the bedside table and fished out your card. Quickly, you punch in your credit card info before the phone rings again. 

A warm chuckle greets you, “Did I lose you?”

“Yeah-“ you sigh, “I needed to enter some card info.”

You can hear the smile in his voice, “I see… don’t worry, I kept your seat nice and warm for you~”

“Thank you,” you laugh, “I appreciate it.”

“Yknow,” he starts, “I bet a slutty little thing like you has a bunch of toys to play with. Why don’t you take one from your collection and use it?”

“O-Okay.”

You whine as you remove your hand from your cunt and get out of bed, pulling out a box from underneath it. You pull out your favorite clitoral vibrator and a basic dildo. You describe to Akagami the toys you’ve chosen.

“Good girl,” he purrs, “Try easing that dildo inside first…”

As you lay on your back, you spread your legs, teasing your hole with the silicone tip. You whimper softly before pushing in and gasping at the intrusion. You’re plenty wet, so the toy slides right in, bottoming out to the suction cup base. 

“I-It’s in- “

“Good, good.” He hums. “Turn on the vibrator now. Make sure it’s on the lowest setting, alright?”

You adjust so that you’re holding the phone between your shoulder and cheek, your dominant hand turning on the vibrator and placing it on your clit. Even though it was only on the first setting, the buzzing made you jump. 

“God, I can just imagine your flustered body writhing…” he laughs, “You said you’re in college, right? Don’t you have roommates you’re worried about?”

You bit your lip, “She won’t be back for a while… I think.”

“Oh? You think?” He teases, “Now you’ve got me thinking about if I was in your dorm room with you…”

“W-Wh-” you try to get your words out, “What would you do if you were here?”

“Mm,” he drawls, “first, I’d kiss my precious princess. Swipe my tongue over your lips before playing with your tongue.”

Your face grows hot, and you wonder what his tongue would taste like. Does he drink? Smoke? Your tongue darts over your lips as you ponder.

“And I’d play with your tits… squeeze them and play with your nipples that I bet are so hard right now.”

You use your free hand to pull at your nipples, which are just as stiff as the older man speculated.

“A-And then what?”

“Eager, are you?” He stifles a laugh, “I like that….”

“Just for you, Daddy.”

A silence lingers, and for a while, you’re worried you might’ve made him uncomfortable. 

But then he speaks. 

“You know, a lot of dorms have security. And even if yours doesn’t, other students will likely see us…” You press your lips together, wondering where he’s taking this, “You think they’d think I’m your father when you lead me to your room? That our relationship is innocent?”

Your eyes flutter shut as he continues, “Or do you think they’d know I’m just there to use your younger body? That I’m just a perverted old man fucking a college girl?”

“I-I-“you stutter, tossing your head back, “I don’t know-“

“Turn up your toy, princess. Let Daddy hear your moans.”

You obey his command immediately as if he’s placed a spell on you. Your finger clicks the button on your toy again, making the vibrations grow stronger. 

“Oh, Daddy-” you sharply gasp, “I need your cock- how big is it? Tell me-“

“Around eight inches when I’m this hard, princess.”

Your mouth watered.

“Never had a dick that big in me before…”

He chuckles, “No?”

“It’s probably too big-“

“Daddy will make it fit.”

You moan openly, your cunt squeezing the dildo inside you at his words. Even though he didn’t give you permission, you turned the toy up one more notch. You bit your lip, knowing you’d get in trouble if he found out. Over the sound of your toy, you hear wet noises coming from his end.

“Would you let Daddy fuck you raw, princess?” He grunts, “Would you let him creampie your little pussy?”

“Yes-“you breathlessly gasp, “Y-Yes, I want it-“

“Mm,” he moans, “You answered that quickly. You could get knocked up, you know.”

As you approach the edge, your breathing goes shallow, “Don’t care, just need you to claim me. I need you to own me-!”

“Fuck-“he draws it out, “I’m gonna make it so you only want Daddy’s dick. None of those little boys at school will be able to compete.”

You whimper and arch your back as your toy happily buzzes away, stimulating you in all the right ways. Your clit throbs and pulses as the toy surrounds it, and your insides tighten around the other toy. 

“I’m so close-“

“That’s good; turn up your toy one more notch.”

“I-I can’t-“

He hums, “A toy that only has two settings? That doesn’t sound right… did you turn it up without permission?”

Your voice trembles, and your legs shake, “Yes, Daddy…”

“Naughty thing,” he tsks, “I’ll allow it this time, but only because we’re both so close-“

Your eyes shut tight as the pleasure overwhelms you. As you approach the end, your legs begin to quiver, and your heart rate is off the charts. Your body tense as your feelings become too much to bear. You needed to cum.

“Daddy, I-I need to cum!” You whimper, “Please let me cum!”

“Ngh-“He grunts, “Cum for Daddy. Squirt your cum all over your cute fingers* 

Your vision goes dark as you cum. Your body seizes, and your toes curl as your back arches off the bed. Your chest heaves, and you hear a low growl from the other end of the phone, “That’s it, that’s it, princess. You sound so pretty when you cum for me.”

“Daddy,” you moan helplessly, “Cum for me too.”

Akagami’s breath grows ragged as he gets closer, “Don’t worry, princess, Daddy isn’t far behind-!”

He lets out a low groan when he cums, and you bite your lip, listening to him. After a few moments, everything grows quiet. 

“I’ll call you again Daddy. Let’s play again soon, okay?”

“Of course, baby. I would love to guide you through another orgasm.”

And with that, you hang up the phone.

[trekmupf]

Trapped in a Car With Someone You Don’t Want to Be Trapped in a Car With

Pro

Kirk being torn between his "duties" in the military structure of Starfleet and the duty to his crew / his friends

McCoy waking up and immediately doctoring

The way McCoy sits in the chair; Once again I'm stating the obvious: McCoy is very beautiful in this episode and his winged eyeliner is everything

We're getting to know Spock better: his problems connecting with the human crew and understanding them (something he learns later on, which is great character development), a new side to his logic, the fact that he's not driven by power (getting command)

Also the fact that the McCoy / Spock dynamic this early on the show is different from later on: the disagreements are less friendly banter and more actual fights, McCoy doesn't know Spock that well (thinking he's interested in power / command is wrong) and they don't work together as well, which is a great way to mark their development in later episodes

there's also a clear separation between Spock and the others, Spock's alone and doesn't have someone to confide in; later on Spock and McCoy are a duo

especially the scene where they're fighting over the funeral service highlights why McCoy, Spock and Kirk work best together and what can happen when one of them isn't around to balance them out

Spock is genuinely so irritated by his logic not working, he's so visibly annoyed several times

"Strange. Step by step I have made the the correct and logical decisions, and yet two men have died"

Spock's failures as a commander also highlights what makes Kirk such a great captain, as he manages to use logic and command while also balancing the human and empathetic side of it

Spock learning so much and growing during this, technically a great leader but he learns his own limits

Scotty best repair boy, the way he crouches and crawls into spaces to repair the shuttle and then engineer magic!

Also Scotty's attitude in the face of death is so great and telling about him. He realizes first what's going to happen and accepts it calmly, smiles and compliments Spock, having an air of comfort and peace around him

@ Kirk and McCoy in the last scene, how close do you guys need to be to have a conversation?

Kirk pointing out that Spock's action was based on hope and was therefore human and Spock trying to explain it away as a non emotional and therefore Vulcan action and the others just like him so much while he does so; it's not mean spirited but just lovely and such a great contrast to the tension earlier in the episode

So many of the shots inside the shuttle are accidently funny due to the camera angles they had use because of the tight space

Direct and straightforward episode set up: We have limited time (medicine needs to be brought to another planet) and the shuttle with two of our main characters gets lost in a phenomenon

Kirks desperation rising during his scenes the longer his crew is lost

great tension by the double plot: the immediate threat on the planet and the time pressure on the ship

I absolutely prefer the original special effects over the CGI remake. Look at how good the shuttle craft looks in comparison – taken from this youtube video which I recommend

Con

even for Trek the monsters are sort of shit

very minor but I'm annoyed at the uniform inconsistency, its yellow shirts not red shirt dying, the travesty

I know the commissioner is there to remind us of the time frame but his constant repeating starts to be annoying. I'm Kirk, just done with this guy (even though yes, he's right)

everyone but the yellow shirts who die have shit to do and opinions to have except the women who is just scared and doesn't wanna die

Counter: none

Quote "Did I? I may have been mistaken" - Spock "Well, at least I lived long enough to hear that" - McCoy

Moment: When the group sits in the doomed transporter together, knowing they're about to die but they seem collected

Free Bones because you can see his great make up in this one

Summary: Not quite bottle episode (even though it feels like it) that focusses on Spock and his struggles as a (half-) vulcan working with humans and his disconnect with them using a gripping and tense narrative; Over the course of the episode Spock learns a lot about humans, his connection to them and himself and he and his companions gather more respect for each other Previous Episode - Next Episode - All TOS Reviews

[oceanwithouthermoon]

Talking about Saiki and SA here a bit, btw, just a warning~

Thinking about how you said Saiki was a victim of SA and you’re literally so right. I feel like people sometimes just blow right past the fact that Kusuke is like that with his brother, but I think it can add a lot to interpretations of his character. But even if it only goes as far as what is shown in canon — which I almost doubt — it still remains the fact that Kusuke is doing all of that knowing fully well that his brother can hear him. It’s literally sexual harassment.

People point it out more often with Teruhashi and her brother (back to the reasons you said, people think it’s more serious if it happens to women). But the things he does, that’s all sexual harassment. And yet when Kusuke does similar things, it’s often brushed aside. Just,,, a bit crazy to me.

(And that’s not even mentioning when people completely disregard this part of Teruhashi’s story and act like she’s one-dimensional,,, but that’s another story)

But all this to say you’re literally so right. Anyways love you mwah =^•w•^=

THANK YOU SO MUCH. I NEEDD PEOPLE TO ACKNOWLEDGE THIS MORE.

(heed the sa warning + abuse and incest warning before opening, i talk a LOT here.. im mostly just reiterating what happens directly in the manga though.. ALSO EXTREMELY LONG POST WARNING..)

I always viewed kokomi and makoto + kusuo and kusuke as like.. paralleling each other ? not sure if thats the right word, but IMMEDIATELY when i saw both of these dynamics i made the connection.. i guess since it was so clear to me, i assumed that it was so obvious and on purpose that everyone else knew too, but so many people just.. ignore it..

i think most people that read/watch saiki k have recognized the fact that most main characters are meant to parallel or relate to saiki in at least some way, (if anyone who doesnt know what im talking about is reading this, im sure at least someone on here has done a better breakdown on that, i just.. dont know where to find that..) but this particular connection is one i dont see often and i genuinely believe that its almost entirely because of the whole "sexual assault/harassment isnt as serious when it happens to men as when it happens to women" thing.. most of the fandom acknowledge that what makoto does is awful and kokomi is a victim, so why is it different when its kusuke and kusuo ??

its EXACTLY the same.. what we see on screen with the saikis is WORSE, actually.. and what WE see from these two relationships isnt the full extent of what the two victims experience off screen, and i strongly believe that its heavily implied that both kokomi and kusuo have been through much worse with their brothers than whats shown..

we have no idea what kusuke couldve done BEFORE moving away and creating the telepathy canceler (and dont say that he couldnt have done anything cuz they were kids, cocsa [child on child sa] is still a thing and still valid, ESPECIALLY since they were both kid geniuses and kusuke definitely KNEW better.. but yea, kusuo implies that hes been like that for a long time, way before we ever saw them, sooo..) and its highly likely that whatever happened that we didnt see, before or after the move, was WORSE than what he does ON screen (i honestly dont want to think about what a guy with an incestual obsession with his brother does with cameras everywhere in his brothers home..) and what we see him do is already insane..

literally using his brother to get off, manipulating him and forcing him to play the games that give him sexual pleasure.. actually, speaking of, ive seen some people say that what kusuke does isnt really incest because the only reason he uses kusuo is because hes a masochist and kusuo is the only person that can overpower him.. this is a total misfire LOL, his upbringing alongside kusuo and his relationship with him is the REASON that hes a masochist, the ENTIRE REASON why thats what he gets off to.. its not just CONVENIENT that kusuo is there to get him off, he SPECIFICALLY seeks kusuo out and forces him to do things that give him sexual pleasure.. he believes that kusuo is the only person in the world that can ever give him sexual pleasure, what about that doesnt sound incestuous?

and one of the worst parts of it is, kusuo BARELY acknowledges how weird it is.. in fact, he's COMPLACENT in a lot of the games, obedient even, being bribed into them the same way he does with simple things like bringing kuniharu to work.. this is the biggest reason why i believe the off-screen stuff is probably worse, because kusuo is obviously conditioned to think that letting your brother get off to you is just.. fine.. we hardly see him try to get away from this situation beyond simply calling him gross.. theres one moment during the cat tank situation where kusuke tries to get him to grab the limiter off of his crotch specifically so that he can see him in that position and kusuo looks terrified and cant do it, BUT its unclear whether the expression of fear was entirely his concentration because he didnt wanna break the limiter or because he didnt want to let his brother get off to that, and i think its mostly the former ? idk, i dont remember this part that well but im preeeetty sure..

he does acknowledge that MAKOTOS behavior is bad when he sees it, but he never thinks its a big enough deal that he needs to help her or anything, (except for maybe the okinawa situation) which i know is probably just for the sake of not letting the gag manga get too serious, BUT it can also be explained pretty easily by this whole thing.. the way kokomi is treated is literally the same way kusuo lives his life, even down to their incestuous brother being possessive to the point of berating their potential love interests.. (which in this case happened to be each other, kusuo and kokomi..)

so yeah, kusuo just. doesnt really know how bad it actually is ? or maybe he does, but doesnt acknowledge it because he doesnt WANT to.. him barely acknowledging it and being complacent is part of why some people dont really get that its sa and incest, but his complacency obviously plays a big part in how its effected him too, like thats purposeful.. like i said, hes been CONDITIONED not to acknowledge it..

to me, it looks like a classic situation in which kusuo doesn't acknowledge his trauma because he knows that if he did, it would change his outlook on his life, his family, and his childhood FOREVER. he would never be willing to tell anyone or ask for help on his own accord, and accepting that there was anything wrong in the first place means, to him, dealing with that issue by himself for the rest of his life.

why would he ever admit that anything was wrong if nothing would change either way? the only thing that WOULD change is HIM, and why would he want that? isnt it better to be blissfully unaware than to knowingly suffer in silence?

plus, he genuinely does love his brother and knows in the back of his mind that kusukes feelings toward him comes from their unhealthy upbringing and relationship and its more complex than just "hes an evil guy blah blah.." because he isnt really evil and kusuo KNOWS that.. actually, he might be the only person in the world who COULD understand..

so yeahhhh.. kokomi and kusuo are both CANONICALLY victims of sexual harassment.. (and incestual abuse at that..) and, by my interpretation, implied victims of sa as well !! (im not really sure where the line can be when it comes to this sometimes, like when your brother sniffs your bedsheets and rubs himself on them or gets off to you right in front of your face or tries to get you to grab something positioned over his crotch so he can see you in.. THAT position.. but i already said that its pretty likely that both brothers have gone farther than that off-screen..)

anywayyyy.. this is so important to me and i wish people would talk and write about it more instead of pretending it never happened and mischaracterizing every one of these characters, especially for the sake of a ship like i was talking about in my other post.. it sucks that people so often just cast kusuos canon issues aside..

[fungusgnat444]

Vampire König headcanons

Just a few hcs for y’all xo. The first part of the series should be done relatively soon so I thought I’d post this to keep you guys hungry lolWarnings: hes a vampire so minor mentions of blood. Nothing super intense tho. Reader is a medic/doctor so medical stuff I guess, könig being delusional and mildly creepy. I think that's it enjoy. Also almost forgot fem reader

-extremely standoffish at first. To the point where you think he probably hates you. In reality he’s obsessed; he just has no idea how to talk to women (it’s been several hundred years since he's had to “court” so he tries his best to keep you at arms length. This doesn’t work very well of course)

-before he turned his family were all poor farmers so he could never have sweet treats as a kid since suger was pretty much only for the rich at the time. So now he has a massive sweet tooth and is regularly gorging himself on sweets.

-in the 1400’s he took the alias Matthias Grunewald, moved to germany and became a painter (Matthias grunewald was a real artist. My history nerd brain couldn’t help throwing that in there. One of my favourite artists tbh)

-since you’re new to Austria he offers to teach you German just to have an excuse to talk to you but he's delusional enough to convince himself it’s to help you. Of course the first thing he teaches you is how to say König correctly. It’s just so annoying to hear you mispronounce it of course… no other reason. 

-refuses to take his mask off when you have to examine him so you have to roll it up just above his top lip. Extremely insecure about his appearance but his face in particular because of all the scars. Plus he has a cleft lip scar that he used to get bullied for.

-he has basically no friends apart from Horangi so he spends most of his time alone painting and watching old German films. His favourite is The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari (its really good y’all should totally watch it btw)

-secretly collects little items you leave around the place even though he feels like a massive creep because of it. It started with a bobby pin he saw lying on your desk that he snatched while you weren’t paying attention. Now he has a whole drawer in his bedside table full of little trinkets; his favourite is a lip gloss that you had dropped one day (secretly wears it under his mask so he can feel like he’s tasting you throughout the day because he so desperately wants to kiss your pretty lips :( )

-once he opens up just a little more and you start to become friends, he slowly starts returning the items he stole because he feels too guilty. Hides them in semi-obvious places to make you think you had just misplaced them (can’t bring himself to part with  the lipgloss though)

-avoids touching you at all costs. Feels like he's having a heart attack whenever you have to examine his teeth; feeling your soft little gloved fingers brush against his lips, trying your best to be so gentle with him. Likes that you’re always so nice to him; complimenting his gum health and being so soft and praising him when you have to take venom samples from his fangs, patting his shoulder when it's down to soothe him when you’re done. In reality you’re just trying your best to make you’re patient comfortable but he savours every moment. Gets so flustered every time you compliment him, even if its something generic and medically (he starts to floss several times a day after you casually mention that he has good gums)

-hates that he can always smell you even when you wear scent blockers, its so distracting. He can always smell you approaching before he sees you, making him panic and overthink at the thought of having to interact with you.

-pretty much exclusively drinks your blood type once he finds out what it is and gets all grumpy whenever the base’s blood dispensary runs out of it. Tries his best to fast until they’re restocked. He avoids you when he’s fasting because you smell so delicious. The fact that you’re completely oblivious and still hang around him only frustrates him more.

Hehe hope you degenerates like this. First part of the series should be out soon xo

[rainesol]

TWST Main Cast Pride Headcanons!!!

Compiling all of my personal twst gender/sexuality headcanons into one post 💪

Disclaimer: I won’t bother with a DNI, however I won’t indulge any discourse or homo/trans/aphobia on this post. You will be blocked and promptly clowned on in the group chat. o7

Heartslabyul

Riddle Rosehearts:

Riddle is an interesting character to me. I don’t think he’s the type to put a label onto his sexuality, but I headcanon bi with a female preference. Gender identity wise, I think within the current storyline he is satisfied with he/him pronouns. Best way to put it into words is that I think he’s nonbinary and uses he/him, but doesn’t have a label for that either. After finding out the custom, he always introduces himself and gives his pronouns.

I choose to interpret his line about enjoying the way his heels click as gender euphoria that just went unrecognised. At the time that I’m writing this, the Lost In The Book event isn’t out on en, but through this translation, you can see that any problems he had with the outfit came from the amount of skin shown rather than the actual presentation. I wholeheartedly believe that if he had been magical-girled into a sundress he’d have been totally cool with it.

As an extra note, I’ve seen a couple of transfem Riddle headcanons that I love. I’d love to see more fics with that concept in the fandom. Or I could do it myself lol.

Ace Trappola:

We know that Ace has canonically had a girlfriend in the past, and found her boring. Not nice. He also says that he decided that dating was a pain and he prefers just hanging out with his friends. I get it. I’m aroace and I’ve confessed that I’m biased and projecting 😔 But like. Come on. I’m choosing to interpret him as aromantic/arospec. Let me cling on to the representation that I made up in my head. I don’t have any specific gender headcanons on this guy. I just view him as cis. He/him.

Deuce Spade:

Deuce is another guy I don’t have much for </3 I usually view him as a gay man in my head? He/him pronouns, cisgender. I think he’s surprisingly more open to gender non-conformity than people expect of him, though. (For instance, the ballet lessons.)

Cater Diamond:

It’s canon in the jp server that Cater has interest in dating both men and women. I’m with everyone else in viewing him as canon bisexual. I headcanon him as having a male preference, but sometimes that changes.

It’s obvious what I’ll say about his gender, but for sure under the nonbinary umbrella. We all saw the guitar strap. Maybe demiboy? He/they. Cater is very online, and considering that the nonbinary flag is ten years old, he or his elder sisters might remember its creation.

Anyways, here’s the nonbinary flag colour picked from his club groovy, and the bisexual flag picked from his Halloween groovy! :D

Trey Clover:

Trey is typically a cis dude in my head. (He/him) He's the supportive older brother type, so I imagine that he keeps the Heartslabyul public bathrooms stocked on pads. I don't know how helpful he would be with advice, but he'll hear you out or refer you to the guidance councillor if that's what you want o7 I don't think the NRC guidance councillors are much help though. Maybe just speak to your homeroom teacher.

I hc that Trey likes men and women with no preference, but just isn't very vocal about it. It'll come up in casual conversation, but I don't think he'd see the point in telling someone unless it was relevant. You'd be having a casual convo with him in the common room, and he might make a reference to a guy he had a crush on in secondary school. Cue SnapCube 'Woah, he's bisexual, I didn't know that!'

Savanaclaw

Leona Kingscholar:

I've seen so many 'token cishet' Leona headcanons that I cant help but to absorb it a little. I do have another headcanon that he experiences some same-sex attraction, but he's got such high standards that he rarely notices any attraction at all. He/him. Maybe poly cause lions?

Jack Howl:

MLM demisexual/romantic truther. (He/him or he/they) I don't have many headcanons for the Savanaclaw trio <//3 if you see/make any please feel free to tag me!! I love reading I love information I love headcanons‼️

Ruggie Bucchi:

Either transmasc or the personification of the 'I'm probably nonbinary but I have a job so idrc about that rn'. I usually picture him with He/him or he/they. Perhaps a rare they/them if you so desire.

Pansexual, his only preference is hard workers on their grind 💪 Between you both you could create an empire of part-time jobs. I've also seen one or two poly headcanons with him that I enjoy. Dividing the bills between the whole polycule lads come on. We're eating good this week.

Octavinelle

Azul Ashengrotto:

I cannot lie, I don't have anything on this guy. There's nothing to be said yk. Like, he's just there in my head and there's not much else I can add. I tend to agree with the MLM headcanons. I also picture him as demisexual/romantic sometimes. Not always. He's the best in the school at remembering pronouns. He updates his secret file on you right away.

Gender wise, I always just enjoy whatever the fanartist/fic writer shows me. I default to he/him. Ursula was based on a drag queen! I think that there should be post-canon/book 3 Azul drag personas. Now I'm picturing a drag design. She/her/he/him for that.

Floyd Leech:

Asexual and panromantic. I think Floyd uses any pronouns, depending on his mood. I headcanon genderfluid, but he typically keeps near the masc end of the spectrum. Not always. The basketball club made colour-coordinated bracelets so that they can easily tell whenever Floyd's preferences have changed. Blue for he/him, pink for she/her, yellow for they/them. Open for combinations of those three, and no bracelets for when he has no preference :D

Jade Leech:

Asexual and gay. I headcanon that he always introduces himself with he/him pronouns, but at the same time I picture him being cool with any pronouns. In classic Jade fashion, he will be generally unnerving about your choice. Like 'Oh? Is that your choice? ...Fascinating :)'

Scarabia

Kalim Al-Asim:

I don't have many headcanons on him specifically, but he'll totally pay for your HRT. Like Trey, he and Jamil keep Scarabia stocked with menstrual products. Kalim has a LOT of siblings, so he's seen a lot of different kinds of people :D He's got a ton of older brother advice. I see him with he/him pronouns, and MLM.

Kalim is a very supportive friend. Always excited to learn new things about his you. Also, those parades he throws? I bet he's (Jamil's) organised an NRC pride event. If I had the skills and patience, I'd draw that idea. If anybody does, tag me o7 I wanna see.

Jamil Viper:

Jamil is a very well prepared man. As I mentioned above, he's the one that puts Kalim's plans into action. He keeps Scarabia stocked on everything, he's technically still an older brother, but I don't see him as having that dynamic with anyone other than his sister. He's still a supportive friend, though :D

I headcanon Jamil as bi, usually with he/him pronouns.

I once had a transfem au Jamil idea way back when I was 17, but I haven't given it much thought since. Maybe I'll bring the au back someday?

Pomefiore

Vil Schoenheit:

Vil has A LOT of headcanons, theories and interpretations in the fandom. Vil is canonically a very gender nonconforming character, using typically gender neutral pronouns, being comfortable in his gender identity and presentation, and is very open to wider interpretations of gender outside of what is stereotypically considered 'masculine' or 'feminine'.

Surprisingly, I've got no proper headcanons on a set gender identity for him. There's already so much canon info within the series, that I just haven't given it much thought. I think he defaults to he/him pronouns, but is perfectly comfortable with anything. Keeps Pomefiore stocked and educated, and he's very well taught in makeup that can make you appear feminine OR masculine.

Similarly, I don't really have any label-specific headcanons for his sexuality. I normally interpret him as MLM. Vil is one of the characters that I'm always interested to see discussions about. His views on gender identity are pretty refreshing to see in modern media.

Epel Felmier:

Epel my friend! Another character that I like reading interpretations of. Again, I always give him he/him pronouns. He also had a lot of canon information on his views of gender norms. His character arc is honestly one of my favourites.

I typically picture that he’s attracted to multiple genders. I’ve seen a lot of interpretations where he mistakes his attraction for jealousy. A lot of “do I want to date him or be him?”

Another au/headcanon I’ve seen a lot of is transmasc Epel. I know a lot of transmasc people see themselves in him. That’s awesome.

Rook Hunt:

This guy! I see him as pansexual but also on the aromantic spectrum. Hear me out. In his suitor suit he has one (1) singular line about not being ready for marriage yet. Like obviously, he’s eighteen, but it just made the projecting side of my brain whir. I now see him as the type to like the idea of romance, just not for himself. Doesn’t mean that I don’t like seeing art/ships that go against this, but that is a hc I hold dear now.

He/him pronouns, but this guy loves to discuss peoples gender identity and interpretations of gender. Sit down with him and a cup of tea, and he’ll listen and talk for hours about how you both feel. Be warned that he may take notes. Mirror pronouns Rook? Oh wait. I like that. Mirror. Like Snow White.

Ignihyde

Idia Shroud:

I typically see Idia as aroace with either little or no attraction. I like the headcanon that he doesn’t date at all, but I’ve also seen enough Silver x Idia to have another set of headcanons. I like both :D I’ve never seen him as not aroace though.

I do kind of wish I had his Suitor Suit sometimes. Every other line is something I’ve definitely said before. Like, the only time he shows any interest in dating is through video games and manga with characters that aren’t him. That’s so me irl you guys don’t understand. I would die happy if twst had canon aro/ace rep.

I think Idia’s the type to only use different pronouns online. Maybe with Ortho, too. He/they online and with close family. Everyone else knows him as he/him. I said that Cater might remember the nonbinary flag’s creation. Idia does. He was on twst tumblr to witness the creation of many flags.

Here's the aroace flag picked from the Suitor Suit card! :D Very pretty.

Ortho Shroud:

Ortho is downright fascinating to pick apart. Pre book 6, I doubt Idia programmed a sexuality into him. Like it would even be possible. Then post book 6, after he gains a soul/sentience, I think he and Idia would have had a talk about him now having the choice to one day explore his gender identity and orientation (if he so desires). I think Ortho wouldn’t have any interest in dating, though.

Confessional time. Before wiring this I had the random thought of “In second year Ortho downloads she/they.zip and gets a new body made”. I never meant to pay much kind to it but now I can’t let it go. Like I’ve been accidentally referring to Ortho as she in front of friends. I have a future design in mind. I have additional headcanons about this design. It’s completely taken over. If I ever post that redesign is beyond me but it’s there in my head and it won’t leave. Fem!Ortho future au. Idk if anyone would hear me out there.

Diasomnia

Malleus Draconia:

Another character I enjoy multiple interpretations of. One interpretation I have of him is cupiosexual/romantic. The other is demisexual/panromantic. Either way, the concept of a qpr would make him so excited that it doesn’t rain for days on Sage’s Island. The grass withered.

Malleus is old. Not mentally, but chronologically. He’s seen language change a couple of times, and he grew up with people even older than him. He was born in the mid 1800s equivalent. Thon is one letter off of thorn. See where I’m headed? The use of thon/thons was first recorded in the 1850’s. Gender neutrality is not a new concept to him.

If you asked for his pronouns, I feel like he wouldn’t immediately understand. Like, he calls himself I. Me. Sometimes if he’s with someone we. Did you want all of those too? Oh, just the ones you call him./j

Anyways twisted wokeland au where Malleus allows Yuu to make up a name and set of pronouns for him because he refused to introduce himself/j

Silver:

Another guy I never considered. Mayybe also on the aroace spectrum? I think he’d be happy in a qpr. I think he’s not the type to question it. He just goes with whatever he feels. I’ve not got much lol.

Sebek Zigvolt:

Demisexual/romantic and he/him pronouns. Again, I’ve not thought much on him. I think it takes him a long, long journey of self-discovery though.

Lilia Vanrouge:

Again, Lilia was born a LONG time ago. He was born in the early to mid 1300s equivalent. He’s seen so much change since then, and he’s been through a lot of character arcs. I think I’m justified in headcanoning him as an unlabelled king. If he likes a girl, awesome. He likes a guy? Cool. I think it’s common to hear him refer to himself in a dead language. Baby girl, he has heard pronouns you could not comprehend.

If you ask his gender or sexuality, you’ll get some vague dad gestures, and a ‘you know what I mean’ nod. You don’t. You won’t.

Book 7 spoilers, but I hope that they keep the mlm implications in for the en translations. They’ll probably pull a Cater and write out the canon bi implications though. Heartbroken.

⋆｡𖦹°‧★

Thank you for reading to the end of my ramblings o7 If anyone else makes pride themed posts please feel free to tag me!! I would love to see them!

I really like the subtle ways these things are portrayed in the story. Especially within the world building. We know that is generally societally acceptable for men to wear makeup and dresses in TWST, and there’s canon development of language changing over time in a gender neutral way! (Witches and wizards -> mages. Suck on that, Rowling.)

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@tixdixl @cyanide-latte @the-trinket-witch @thehollowwriter @elenauaurs

@emiensr

[ekko-idk]

YOU 🫵

Explain what dungeon meshi is

(You don't have to i'm just new here and wanted to hear it from someone who already knows a lot about this media)

(If you can't / don't want to that's absolutely fine but I would greatly appreciate it if you did :) )

Be careful what you wish for! I'm a professional rambler :)

Dungeon meshi (or Delicious In Dungeon) is a manga that recently started getting an animated adaptation on Netflix. The Manga is completed and the anime is ongoing. And just to be transparent I'm anime only so I don't know the whole story yet :0

The story follows a party (like a DND party) after they lost one of their members to a dragon, and they decide to go back to the dungeon to try and save her.

Laios, the blond guy with the armor, is the brother of the lost party member, Falin. he's very passionate and excitable (some people think it makes him awkward or difficult to talk to), he's just very in his own world.

Marcille, the blond elf girl with the blue dress (i think it's a dress?), is a childhood friend of Falin, she's a mage and casts mostly explosions lol. Marcille and Falin went to magic school together and it's pretty obvious they also have feelings for each other, that's why Marcille wants to save her so much.

Chilchuck, the tiny guy with the green neck wrap, is the group's lockpick. He's often cynical and sarcastic, and honestly at the start of the series I didn't expect to love him as much as I do, there's way more to him than what it might seem at a glance.

There were two other party members in their party but they decided to quit, each for their own reasons, and since the party lost almost all of their belongings in the dragon fight they were now broke. Eager to go save Falin they had a debate on what to do next, in which Laios mentioned he had expert knowledge on monsters and had always wondered what they taste like. Somehow Laios managed to convince Marcille and chilchuck to eat monsters to save up on money, although they were very opposed to it at first.

Laios knows a lot about monsters, but he doesn't know a lot about cooking, that's when they meet Senshi. Senshi is a dwarf that lives in the dungeon and is very passionate about cooking and living healthy. Senshi decides to tag along with Laios, Marcille, and Chilchuck, on their quest to save Falin, slaying and cooking monsters along the way.

This is the premise of Dungeon Meshi! Obviously there's a lot more that goes into it like other characters I didn't mention and a whole bunch of twists and turns in the story. If it's not apparent already by the amount of fanart I did, I'm enjoying the anime a lot lol. I can wholeheartedly recommend it, it's genuinely hilarious, the characters are all expertly written and bounce so well off of each other, there's little to no weird yucky "fan service" (the author is a woman and treats all her female characters with the respect they deserve) and at its core (as I see it) it's a story about passion, and how far following it can bring you.

There's a million and one other positive things I can say, like the LGBT and neurodivergent representation (Marcille and Falin are very clearly Sapphic, and Laios is widely headcanoned as autistic) and the various and diverse body types for both men and women, but I don't want this to go on for too long 😭

I hope this is what you had in mind when you asked me the question lmao💀

[yourlovermumu]

so i was thinkingggg

should i do a bakugo and reader fanfic where its set in a desi setting? like indian, Pakistani, or bangladeshi setting.

and like the trope is slow burn and marriage of convenience. AND CHILDHOOD FRIENDS.

basically bakugo and your parents happen to be in the same social circle and so basically you and bakugo often saw each other at several parties and events such as weddings and family gatherings.

you guys were particularly close but werent exactly strangers to each other. growing up you, bakugo, and izuku would run off somewhere alone to play around at these events. but as you all grew older you both stopped showing up to these events as often. well...mostly bakugo. you and izuku would show up to these family events and such with your parents quite alot more then bakugo would.

you and bakugo stopped seeing each other as often eventually and drifted apart. the friendship and joy you two shared together as kids are now distant memories. especially with bakugo moving to japan to chase his ambition.

but soon enough after your twentieth birthday you hear his coming back and his parents are arranging a friendly gathering with close family and friends and that they are back in their motherland. and of course, your family is also invited.

you dont think much of it, really. its such another one of those events and family gatherings you have grown customed to growing up where you did.

it isnt odd in the slightest to get invited someone's home in occasions such as this.

but what is odd is the way your dupatta gets stuck in his watch and suddenly your not looking at anyone but him. but its not like he is in any better condition then you. he is also frozen. just staring. staring at you.

your eyes are locked with his and suddenly you dont seem to remember why you looked behind your back. why? because you felt a tug on your dupatta? thats not what matters to you right now. because with the air getting knocked out of you with the way his so far but...feels so close. you can see all the features of his face so clearly. he has certainly grown much, much more handsome in the time you two were apart for the past 7 years.

but did his eyes always look at you like? no...not when you two were kids, no.

and that fact only makes you all the more aware that you two arent just two kids sneaking away from your parents to play in a abandoned room in the far corner where no one will bother you both.

his a man. and your a women.

a soft chuckle from him breaks you out of your trance. its a intoxicating sound. his voice is deep, you note.

''not gonna untangle your dupatta, chutki?'' theres that sexy smug smile on his lips when he says that.

you cant help but roll your eyes at the nickname. its the same exact one he called you ages ago. but thats when you didnt even know where babies come from.

if it werent for his handsome face, he best bet you'd slap his face one way or another. just like old times.

but that lighthearted air that surrounded you both is now far gone with you sitting across from him. your parents at your side and his mother and father right by his.

the air is filled with grim air that only you and bakugo can sense. your parents seem to be in their little world.

their beating around the bush is obvious enough. you can already tell what this is about. and so can bakugo.

and non of you know how to feel about it. but one thing is clear, your both not kin on the idea.

''you two have grown of age. its time for marriage isnt that right?'' your mother says with a friendly smile on her face. and you so wish you could just bury yourself into a hole right then and there. sure you knew it would happen. your parents have been quite open about getting you married, saying its high time you give them a grandchild before they bite the dust. because apparently your elder sister and brother wouldnt. your brother is too focused with his multimillionaire company while your sister claims her job as a lawyer is much too demanding to spare time for marriage of all things. so now the pressure of marriage is upon you. but him? bakugo of all people? why?

you and bakugo both eye each other at your mother's words. surely...she cant be..?

''we think you two should get married. you two are a good match for each other.''

and all hell breaks loose. thats the sentence you were anticipating. bakugo is the first to express his disapproval.

''hell no! old hag are ya outta your mind?'' he shouts.

''you have to get married eventually. isnt it better to marry someone who your familiar with rather then a stranger? maybe there would have been more options open if only you didnt chase off girls by the mere sight of you, boy!'' his mother voiced. the volume of her words matching her voice.

bakugo grumbles at his mother's words, shooting her a glare.

you wanna escape. of course you do. because hell no were you gonna marry bakugo katsuki. no offense but that guy is NOT capable of being a good husband. you'd rather marry a beggar on the street then him. but its not like you can say that outright with several eyes on you.

''....abba, mami, is this...necessary?'' you gave both your parents an uncertain look. definitely trying to some how talk them out of this conversation and just go home. you cant bear to sit here and listen to this any longer.

''well...its already settled.''

you frown.

''what?''

''its settled. its not like you two would ever get married on your own record to begin with. so...your father and i as well as katsuki's parents decided that we set it up before you to can back out.''

what was to come now in your future married life?

(just a little thought lmfao lemme know if yall want me to write it <3)

[stickysweetdaydreams]

♡ imagine being a sweet clairvoyant/empath girl & boba fett using that to his advantage for particularly taxing jobs (of which there are few) ♡

♡ clairvoyance and empath abilities were just something you were gifted with ever since you were small.

♡ you somehow encounter boba fett in some trashy bar place where hes busy doing a job.

♡ after taking care of his business, an unsuspected person appears from behind a corner and attempts to shoot at him from far away, but you already saw it coming 10 minutes ago in one of your visions.

♡ you snuck up behind the person and knocked him out with a heavy object.

♡ Fett interrogates you after, suspecting that youre secretly plotting something against him, but you explain your ability.

♡ he doesnt believe you at first, until you prove it to him. you reveal parts of his past to him that no one else knows, and you predict a bar fight 5 minutes before it breaks out.

♡ he kind of dislikes it at first, but then decides you may be useful. he keeps a tab on you.

♡ eventually he comes to find you and brings you along with him on a more elaborate job. work smarter, not harder. use whatever you can to get paid faster and easier, as long as its efficient.

♡ he tests u a lot first to make sure ur actually reliable.

♡ you're able to pick up on a lot of things faster and it saves him a lot of time.

♡ "i think youve got a small group of people waiting behind the next set of doors...5 or 6 guys with blaster rifles..."

♡ "you think or you know?"

♡ "....i know..."

♡ "very good."

♡ he offers you very tiny little praises like that, even just tiny nods of approval leave you kinda flustered.

♡ dont even get me started on "clever girl." goodbye.

♡ after the job is finished you find yourself kind of taken with him and you dont really want to go back to whatever you were previously doing.

♡ "couldn't i come with you?"

♡ "some other time, maybe."

♡ he leaves you in a nicer place, secretly keeping tabs on you still because he finds himself somewhat taken with you as well.

♡ some time passes and you occasionally find yourself being approached by him for small favors.

♡ eventually a long time passes and you dont hear too terribly much from him.

♡ you have visions of the sarlacc incident only a day before it happens, and you immediately start trying to make your way to tatooine.

♡ once you finally get to where it is, he has already escaped the pit after blowing it up and being found by Dengar and his betrothed, Manaroo.

♡ you throw yourself over him and hug him, crying.

♡ "oh, Jaster..."

♡ seeing him all burned and maimed breaks your heart and you apologize for not knowing sooner.

♡ hes kind of in and out of consciousness, but in his weakened state, hes softer and he confesses to you that he had missed you too.

♡ he has always been noted as being an "ugly man" (i.e. "the last one standing" and "essential guide to characters".) and that never bothered him much, but he feels slightly bothered that the first time you're seeing him is when hes even less appealing to look at due to all the burns and etc.

♡ you care very little. hes always said his helmet is his face. his appearance underneath doesnt matter to you.

♡ Dengar and Manaroo are confused. probably dont use his old name in front of other people who dont know about his past? lol

♡ you explain the history between the two of you to Dengar and Manaroo

♡ Dengar is stunned that he ever had any involvement with a woman, for obvious reasons.

♡ Manaroo is fascinated to meet a clairvoyant empath because she herself is an empath, so you two bond over that similarity

♡ Dengar nudges Fett, smirking "those empath women, huh?"

♡ Fett just gives him the look. like, you may have just helped prevent my death, but be quiet, lol.

♡ "well, Manaroo, I already have a best man now. do you need an extra bridesmaid?"

♡ (Fett agreed to be the best man for Dengar at the end of "payback: the tale of dengar" and i think its so cute lol...)

♡ she looks at you and smiles. "would you like to be a bridesmaid?"

♡ "you two are getting married? id love to be a bridesmaid!"

i love the idea of these 4 little sweeties being a friend group...♡ its so cute...hehe...

[bit-of-a-nerd]

What Mike’s Room Means About Byler

we’ve all talked and hear about mike’s rooms queercoding. people talk a lot about the posters, which have two things: fantasy and men. men is obvious queercoding when you look at other characters rooms. the lack of women is interesting when making the case that hes gay not bi. but theres something that people dont talk a lot about

mike and el have a very strong sci-fi coding. that makes sense, its a sci-fi show, and their biggest season together was the season based as an homage to classic 80’s sci-fi films. creators have made comparisons to et, her powers in s1 had a strong “alien” vibe from sci-fi, and imagery with things like star wars. 

however, byler has a strong fantasy coding. their first scene (both at all, but also their first one on one scene) had to do with dnd (fantasy game). this coding does go away for a bit in s2 when dnd takes a bit of a backseat (except for dustin coining the name of the mind flayer). but its back again in full force for s3. their major s3 fight (with TONS of queer mike coding and byler coding in general) was after the failed dnd game. will’s dnd game had some of the most pure fantasty vibes that we’ve seen of st dnd games.  the music he used, the costuming, the village all screamed medieval fantasy. 

not to mention dnd used to point towards mikes conformity. him leaving it in s3 is a sign of conformity, but him returning shows him starting to embrace himself. his costuming at rink o mania show’s thats not fully the case, pointing towards something else being the root of the conformity. then one of the (if not the) biggest byler scene, and the crux of what will be a major byler focused plot point, is will’s painting and the van scene. the painting? A FANTASY DND FIGHT! there’s a reason people love cleradin au’s and love the ship names cleradin and wiseheart. because dnd, and by extent fantasy, are woven into byler.

so keeping all that in mind, lets talk about rooms. rooms are usually a place for self expression. posters and things that express who you are and your interests. we've seen the duffers use rooms to express this in the past. but, they’ve also used rooms to show attraction. we dont see the second point much in mikes season 1 room, but we see the first. his room is a reflection of his nerdy interests and his friends mainly (also closet imagery!!!). but now that hes growing into a teenager it makes sense that we would begin to see the second part when we finally get his room again in s4. 

so: interests, we see his fantasy posters and his guitar. his fantasy posters line back up with his participation in hellfire. not TONS there, but some signals to him adopting eddies style due to some facsination/hero worship/crush(???) of the guy (an example being the guitar).

but attraction is where his room gets REALLY interesting. he has MULTIPLE posters of shirtless men. his one way sign to the closet. does more need to be said? it does. because attraction to men and being closeted, doesn’t mean much for being in relationships. (again bi people do exist!! he could be closeted and still in love with his gf)

In this scene he’s reading a letter from his girlfriend, in their ‘perfect’ relationship, their sci-fi coded relationship. so, even with the attraction to men coded, maybe the duffers didnt see the need to recode his female attraction, they just added coding of his relationship into his room, right? he might just not be the guy to have a shrine to his partner, he might just be more subtle?

except all the posters are more fantasy leaning. which is a different genre from scifi. his room does not point towards his relationship with el. but we fantasy is the coding behind his and will’s relationship. the same relationship that in their time apart he’s somehow managed to start acting weirder around his best friend, and feel the need to assert that they. are. just. friends. the same friend who just got confirmed in love with mike, and is now a love interest. 

I know theres been a lot of talk about mikes room but people haven’t really talked about the fantasy aspect, or bylers fantasy coding and mlvns sci-fi coding. I think it’s a lot more important than people are giving it credit for. 

[ghoulishcraving]

on the theme of queerbaiting and hannibal i have OPINIONS and idk how well ill be able to express them on writing and in english but here we go

i get why some call it queerbaiting, and, although, i myself consider it canon, HEAR ME OUT

I'm going first to put the example of a real life artist, yoongi, from bts, this guy has consistently answered to questions like "what's your ideal woman" by saying "a person like...." or even saying things like "the gender doesnt matter much to me, it's the personality.....", has lyrics on his songs like "either a girl or a guy I'll make you come with my tongue....", and even said on a radio show years ago that he liked "the macho type" in guys, but he is still not considered queer by the general audience, he is not queer, except to queer fans like myself, bc we see that and obviously that means the man is not straight but to the general public, to the straight public he never said explicitly that he is gay, bisexual, pansexual, queer, anything so he is "not gay".

because the thing about queer identities is that they will be denied as long as there is the slimmest chance to do it, as long as there is not a direct rotund answer.

that happens with hannibal, it doesnt matter how obvious is, because there isn't an explicit acceptance or declaration of queerness and there isn't an explicit kiss or sex scene or confession between will and hannibal.

and that is something that we do not realise as much because of the niche audience it has, but if this show blew up, and its audience reached a more general audience we would see the denial of hannigram everywhere.

because even on the "is hannibal in love with me?" we do not get a rotund yes, we get a metaphora, a rephrasal, a reinterpretation, that can be interpreted as platonic. as a platonic obsession.

because even when both actors wanted a kiss it didnt happen it stayed platonic

and what confirmed for me this idea was the treatment of margot and alana's relationship.

we have a show, about the fbi, about a serial killer about violence (traditionally directed to men) protagonized by two very attractive men (usually done to attract a women audience), that plays onto queer topics spectacularly and has a blatantly obvious queer story (for queer people) but it's not a romance, and they never explicitly portray both men as queer, the only (explicit) relationships they are shown having is with other women (therefore not risking the lose of interest or hate from a straight audience that wants to be/men the protagonist or desires them/women) but the moment they introduce a lesbian couple we dont even see how they get together, we barely see anything about them as a couple but we do have a sex scene, wich would be something liked by a straight men audience, ignored by a straight women audience, and liked by a queer audience (confirming the queerness of the show) but without risking the proclaim of the two protagonists.

I hope this makes sense, and I know what fuller says and that the man just need a bit of cheering to write and post hannigram porn on his social media but honestly for me, what a creator, producer or actor post on their socials do not count bc it's not on the show, and again it allows deniability, it isn't canon

most of this is basically how I see the show translates onto a publicity and commercial sense, I myself consider hannigram as completely canon but still I'll always say that not putting a kiss on screen had nothing to do with the purity of the bond, or the complexity of their relationship and more to do with its marketing and the possibility of losing audience over it.

although in the end the audience of this show is the queerest I've seen hajfjdbnrnf

[posebean]

rinky adjacent except its shiina kyoudai (hiki) and sakura nee-han (shinju) that me and @nguyenfinity have an au of and are obsessed with have fun reading

um i think its obvious which characters are mentioned and their relations but if you havent seen the main posts for more information:

hiki: https://www.tumblr.com/nguyenfinity/746817271252533248/bean-and-i-have-been-locked-in-the-kitchen-so

shinju: https://www.tumblr.com/nguyenfinity/749132426169729024/so-like-women-oukawa-nee-hans-rehashed-their

also context is theyre at rinky wedding

Hiki loosened his tie, leaning on the balcony rails. He looked up at the stars, watching as they twinkled in the sky.

“What’s a guy like you doin’ out here all alone? Everyone’s inside enjoying the party, I think Kohakun is fighting the groom right now.” He hears an amused chuckle behind him, Shinju sliding up to stand next to him, a champagne glass in her hand.

Hiki gave a lopsided grin. “What’d Amarinrin do this time? That troublemaker really couldn’t go without instigating something, even on this specific day? Pfft, I still wonder what Nikkun sees in him.”

Shinju emptied her glass, setting it down on the railing. “Not sure, probably started it though. Kohakun is definitely making sure he’s getting what he deserves,” she laughed.

“Ha, yeah, definitely if it’s Chiikawa.” Hiki laughed airily, scooting over so Shinju had more room.

“You didn’t answer the question~” Shinju poked him on the cheek, a silly smile.

Hiki scrunched his face, batting her away. “Can’t a guy get some fresh air? All the idols in there are so~ draining. Did you see that one that was climbing the wall? Or the one that was lying on the floor asleep? Crazy bunch, all of them. How does Nikkun stand being surrounded by all of that 24/7~”

Shinju snorted. “Like you’re one to talk? You’re as bad, or even worse than the red one after several drinks.”

“Shi-chan, I do not appreciate this attack on my character~” Hiki whined, resting his hands on the railing.

They stood in silence, looking up at the stars.

“Shi-chan, Nikkun looked so happy.” Hiki mumbled, still looking up.

“Yeah. So did Ama-chan. I guess they’ve both been waiting for this for so long. It’s really sweet.” Shinju smiled, leaning back on the railing.

“He’s an idiot and dumb as fuck, but really the only one that can make Nikkun smile like that. I’m glad that Nikkun found someone that would never let him be alone again.” Hiki sighed, gripping the railing.

“Hikkun…”

Hiki turned slowly, offering a hand to his companion. “Do you think…we could’ve turned out like that?”

Shinju took it, giving a small shake of her head. A sad smile. “It would never work. You know this.”

Hiki laughed, squeezing her hand. “Yeah. You wanted to protect your siblings, I wanted to redeem my family name. Two dreams on separate paths, too far apart.”

Shinju laughed softly, squeezing back. “Yeah. It really wouldn’t have worked, no matter how much your mom tries to use her puppy eyes on me.”

Hiki rolled his eyes. “Pfft. I’ll tell her to stop. Whether we’re together or not, she does see you as family, though. You’re always welcome for dinner.”

“Hehe~ I’m always down for Shiina cuisine. As long as it’s not made by you.” Shinju stuck her tongue out.

“Hey! My instant food prep skills are amazing, thank you very much.”

“Instant noodles and microwave rice do not count as a good meal, your entire family is saying this and you still don’t believe them?” Shinju huffed.

“They just can’t appreciate taste like how I can.”

They stared at each other before both started to laugh, loud and clear and just them up there on that balcony.

Hiki grabbed her other hand, gently pulling her away from the railing. “But just for tonight, Shi-chan. You’re my plus one~ May I have this dance?” He lifted up one of her hands, kissing the knuckles.

Shinju laughed, eyes glittering. “Only for you, Sweetheart.”

They waltzed around the balcony, dancing slowly to the sound of some song that Hiki pulled up on his phone.

“Maybe in another world it’d be us at that table,” Hiki hummed, stepping one way.

“Yeah, after you try to and fail to fight my father over ten times. No, maybe a hundred times.” Shinju giggled, letting him take the lead.

“Hey! I’m hurt that you have no faith in me~” Hiki whined, spinning them.

“I’m just stating the facts, Hikkun.”

Hiki huffed. “Maybe like twenty. They’ll feel sorry for me and then let me win.” He swayed them, slowly and not even on beat with the music.

“I think Kohakun would rather die than have you as a brother. The other two are okay.” Shinju smirked.

“But he’d be fine with Nikkun?! The betrayal!” Hiki feigned a gasp, swaying them to the other side.

Shinju laughed softly. “Well? Tell me more about this other world.”

“Nikkun would want to be on catering…Maybe Mom and Dad will help. Amarinrin would probably be there too, I can’t imagine a world where he isn’t clinging to Nikkun.” He shifted one of his hands to her waist.

“Probably as annoying as always. The Ama-chan guarantee.”

Hiki smiled. “Yeah. You’d probably look very pretty for the first time ever, ha.”

Shinju pulled her hand free and whacked him gently. “I’d probably be the one in the suit, I think you’d fit the dress better.”

“I’m not Nikkun~ Not every man is willing to be a bride.” Hiki snickered. “No one would ever be able to look as pretty as Nikkun, anyways.”

“Hmm hmm~ I agree.”

Hiki spun them again, stepping lightly. “ We’d go wherever we want to, all over the world. I’d show you all kinds of things, maybe we’d have a bunch of near-death experiences.”

“Which you probably would’ve dragged us into, leaving me to haul your ass to safety.”

Hiki laughed. “My ever-reliable Shi-chan~ What would I do without you.”

“Die a stupid death, I guess~”

Hiki stepped forwards, dipping her. “And…I don’t know. It just feels like it’d be nice, that other world.”

“Yeah. It does.”

Hiki leaned in. “Shi-chan, can I be greedy for a second? Can we live in that world for just this moment?” he whispered.

Shinju smiled sadly. “Yeah.”

Hiki closed the gap, soft and sweet.

He pulled back, helping Shinju back up. “Bleh. B-tier champagne. Didn’t Amarinrin listen to any of my suggestions at all? After I worked so~ hard on that list just for him, and for free, too!”

Shinju laughed, rolling her eyes. “He actually ended up getting way more than what you suggested. ‘For variety’ he said. Come on, it’s cold and I want a refill~” She picked her glass up, pulling on his hand.

“Yeah~ Yeah. Okay, that’s enough fresh air for the night.” Hiki laughed, following her back in and leaving that other world behind.

[tellthemeerkatsitsfine]

There was a party outside the Bill Murray pub yesterday, home to Angel Comedy, a really really cool comedy club in London. They had comedians doing sets out of windows and off of rooftops, a situation in which filming and sharing the film on the internet is fair game, because if you don’t want the shit you say posted online, you shouldn’t shout it from a rooftop to a crowded yard in the middle of the afternoon. As such, yesterday I posted a video of Sam Campbell’s set, which was fucking awesome and everyone should go watch it and take the advice in his crowd work about downloading videos off YouTube.

Sam Campbell talked some shit about Nish Kumar during his set, and this is because Nish was the headline act, so he was in the area to make Sam say horrible things or whatever else he was accused of doing. Well guess what, everyone? That guy who filmed Sam Campbell also got Nish Kumar’s entire 24-minute set, which is fucking amazing. I have been lucky enough to hear a lot of stand-up comedy in the last couple of years, and this specific video, for the novelty of the occasion and the timing and everything else, is one of my favourite things I’ve gotten. And I’m allowed to share it. Because if you don’t want the things you say shared on the public internet, you shouldn’t shout them from a rooftop like, to quote the eighth wonder of the world, a fucking Beatle. (This weirdly is not the first time I’ve said the following sentence on this blog: “That analogy is of course imperfect, because hopefully Nish Kumar has beaten fewer women than John Lennon.”) When I made my post yesterday comparing the rooftop comedians to Beatles, I had not yet heard Nish Kumar’s set in which he did the same thing. I mean, it’s a very obvious comparison to make and was probably everyone’s first thought, but still, let me have this, I like that I chose the same comparison as Nish Kumar.

This is so fucking cool. This is, as Nish acknowledges right at the beginning, pretty much exactly how Nish Kumar is meant to be. He should always be shouting his material from a fucking rooftop, really. I’ve heard him talk in podcasts about how weird it is (in good ways and bad ways) that sometimes some of his gigs start to feel like a rally, but I’ve heard a bunch of Nish Kumar stand-up gigs and I’ve never heard that rally effect before this one. The way the audience cheers and whoops the more significant points, that’s the rally he’s described on podcasts. I’m going to guess the rally effect was triggered 5% because a major general election has just been called so everyone’s feeling pretty hyped up about politics, and 95% because it’s pretty hard to shout political screeds to a gathered crowd from a literal rooftop and have it not turn into a rally. I’ve heard plenty of Nish Kumar stand-up before, but it was something excitingly different to see a Nish Kumar rally (obviously the rally effect has its downsides, as Nish has outlined in measured interviews on podcasts before, but I’m pretty sure this specific one was cool).

This was the Nish Kumar that the tabloids think he is, the Nish Kumar that’s caricatured by other comedians who make jokes about him, the Nish Kumar that he isn’t always. This was 24 minutes of material that was purely, specifically political. I say “specifically” because sure, all Nish’s material is political in the same way that everything is political, he can take cultural or sociological or personal topics and tie them back to some political lens. But this set was entirely material about specific party politics or politicians, which isn’t how he always is. Nish Kumar’s current show involves stuff about football injuries and eccentric billionaires and making fun of Ed Gamble and talking shit about right-wing comedians and terrible Channel 4 television shows and some movie about tennis and listening to podcasts on a train. He specifically chose, for this set, to skip all of those topics, stick entirely to his stuff about various governments, and make it a political rally. And given the nature of this occasion (shouting from an actual rooftop) and the current timing, I think that was a fairly cool decision.

I might be wrong, but I think he’s going to structure his current show, when it’s a proper coherent hour-long format, around that little government history lesson dating back to Gordon Brown, but fill it out with the other stuff, from here and his less explicitly political things. I’m not sure that that’s what he’s doing, but it’s my guess based on how he’s structured these WIP sets, and as I’ve said before, it’s not reached it’s final form yet but if he takes all his current bits and structures them all nicely around some historical context (I fucking love historical context), I think he might be currently stringing together the best stand-up show of the last whole bunch of years. Not Nish’s best show. The best show. The part of my brain that is careful with language is yelling at me to change that to “my favourite show”, which obviously would be much more accurate because comedy is subjective, but no, that part of my brain can fuck off for this one time. You heard me, I meant what I said. It’s the best stand-up show.

This isn’t that show, it’s 24 cherry-picked minutes of it, delivered from a rooftop with the passion of eighteen comedians and six political activists, and what more could you want than that? I have to admit, this video made me start to think… what do I have booked at 14:50 during my five days in Edinburgh this summer, on the four days when I am not currently booked to see Nish Kumar (in his regular show, not podcast)? And should I consider skipping any of them to see Nish Kumar’s show more than once? I won’t, obviously. That would be an absurd thing to do, a waste of the amazing and unique opportunity that the Edinburgh Fringe Festival offers to see that wide a range of acts in one place. I won’t do that. I’m just saying that for one moment, watching him near the end of his set with the wind in his hair like an action movie star/Beatle shouting at the audience at the top of his voice and doing everything at once, I did briefly consider it. Seriously, there's a bit near the end where he does look like he's doing a fight scene in a movie. I don't call him the eighth wonder of the world for nothing.

I am ridiculously lucky that the coolest person I know got this whole thing on video so I get to see it despite the size of the Atlantic Ocean, and anyone else reading this post is ridiculously lucky that you get ot see it too, definitely give this a watch. And a download, as Sam Campbell mentioned. It's not likely to get taken down any time soon or anything, it's just good to get in the habit of saving your media.

(Obligatory note: Obviously this also made me laugh, I always feel the need to clarify that with a Nish Kumar set where I talk about anything besides specifically how funny it was, because I feel like I'm validating the people who claim he's just a "political rally" guy and people like him because they agree with him and not because he's funny, I didn't talk about it much in this post because Nish is always funny so in this post I focused on what made this set different from the others, but yes this set was also very fucking funny, I figure that can just go without saying once in a while. I'll tell you what, the first time I listen to more than three minutes of a Nish Kumar stand-up set without having to catch my breath from laughter, I'll let you know. Until then, assume it's funny.)