#my friends mom who i help in the garden and constantly tries to improve when she does make a mistake

[cascadianights]

Absolutely baffling that when I talk about my partner (who is clocked as a cis male by the general public 90% of the time) the second some people realize he's trans they start using they/them?? Despite clear usage of he/him and their grasp of it before?

Then they struggle ENDLESSLY with using they/them for me bc even though I cut off 3/4 of the hair on my head and have more chest & body hair than the cis men I've dated, my hips and chest still clock me as female no matter what

[hooniee]

 — ꒰‧⁺paris run away  *ೃ༄

↷ heeseung x reader ⋯ ♡ᵎ

↷genre: fluff | comdey ⋯ ♡ᵎ

↷ warnings: not proofread | none! ⋯ ♡ᵎ

↷ synopsis: (y/n) just graduates from high school and feel incomplete but doesn’t know what’s missing. a trip to paris might be able to fix that ⋯ ♡ᵎ 

↷ author note: this is @enhypenwriters​ event of the month! strangers to lovers <3 i think this was my favorite to write out of the three pieces but i feel like it’s lacking some flare :( i think it still turned out okay though. i hope you enjoy <3 ⋯ ♡ᵎ

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ────── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .*

you should have listened to sunoo when he said that it wasn't a good plan to travel to a foreign country on impulse.

you wouldn’t say you’ve ever been the most courageous person in your life. determined to break that trend, you planned this super out of the blue trip without much thought.

yeah. maybe this was a bit TOO courageous.

you didn't comprehend what compelled you yet here you were, arriving at paris charles de gaulle airport.

you stared at the large windows of the airport, viewing the plane that you had just left.

the gate for the concluding passengers had been locked by the flight stewardesses.

one of the stewardesses obtained eye contact with you, before shooting a smile and lightly bowing her head.

you absentmindedly returned the gesture, mind elsewhere.

bustling throughout the airport were people hurrying to their connecting flight or slumping into their lover's arms

people carried two or more suitcases with various bags strapped on their bodies, nothing on you besides a petite sling purse and one small carry on suitcase.

as weaved your way through the mass of stressed travelers, you briefly thought to yourself

how the hell did you get here?

2 days earlier

clusters of kids outfitted in blue gowns and caps could be recognized a mile away.

the graduation from high school to university.

your friend minji encloses her arm around your shoulder, your arm resting on her waist.

minji’s mom was stood in front of the both of you, gesturing wildly as she tried to take the ‘perfect graduation photo’ as she had put it

"okay pose! get a little closer, perfect. 1, 2, 3"  your friend's mom counts.

the camera shudders which creates a beaming light to flash, eyes faintly twitching.

shrieks could be heard throughout the campus as girls queued up to take their final photographs with the popular guys.

minji's mom draws back the camera and we check the picture.

"it's cute," minji exclaims, peering at it a bit more closer. you nod your head in approval.

you would miss minji, one of the friends you could constantly count on in math class when you neglected to do your homework from binging korean dramas.

"i'll send you the picture later (y/n)! don't forget about me alright? you have my socials and you can always talk to me," minji grasps your hands

you smile, feeling sad at the departure of your best friend, "of course minji, don't forget me either"

"i could never," she brings you into a secure hug.

"sweet pea perfume," you say and she chuckles. sweat pea was minji's preferred perfume and you would miss that aroma.

"i have to go now, but i'll see you around okay?" minji says.

you could notice tears well up in her eyes and she fans her eyes to prevent the tears.

"don't cry ji, i'll start crying," you joked. "i live near here and you can always visit me! my door will always be open."

she smiled, "the same goes for you." her mother shouts her name before she has to go.

"alright, see you around," you wave to her as she leaves.

on the opposite side of the garden, your mom signals to you with your bouquet of red roses in hand.

"are you ready honey?" she asks you and you smile, nodding your head.

the car ride was in pleasant quietness, light radio music fluttering in. you had taken off your cap and laid it in the car seat next to you accompanying with your bouquet. 

you had glimpsed outside to see your campus still arranged with your classmates, beaming and posing for additional pictures.

you bitterly smiled. 

for the first time, graduation didn't appear like one of those liberating scenes of a movie,

1 day ago

you sprawled on his bed, staring straight up. a fan in your hand, fanning the perspiration that threatened to come.

your eyes match the fan's speed directly above your neighbor and best friend, sunoo's, bed.

his air conditioner was broken. with the avail of those elementary paper fans and the only fan stationed in the house, you were able to find comfort

you questioned if he ever got frightened of it dropping on him when he slept.

sunoo occupies the bathroom that's joined to his room, applying some light powder.

your mind strays, more thoughts simmering in the back of your brain. you sigh for the 10th time and sunoo being exasperated, allows out a loud groan. 

it draws you out of your daze and you snap your head towards him."

"what is with you? what is on your mind sunshine?" he shuts his cushion, flinging himself on the bed.

"are you ever scared of the fan falling on you?" you felt the bed dip

"no, it's been like that for years, and don't change the subject. what's wrong?" sunoo retorted 

"what makes you say that? i'm fine, " you answer

"uh-huh," sunoo rolls his eyes

it's the blatant eye-roll rather than the hushed one, he implied business

"you've been sighing for the past ten minutes, spill," sunoo says

of course, sunoo could recognize your distress. what sort of best friend would he be if he couldn't distinguish your emotions?

you huff, " okay then"

"i don't know why but i just feel stuck? i just graduated high school and nothing feels different, i mean it doesn't have to, but what do i do now? maybe i just watched too many movies"

sunoo tsked, " (y/n). sweetie, i graduated last year and i'm still stuck here. i do nothing besides go out or stay in my room. no in-between."

"but you have something sunoo. you have a bunch of your friends, you're an instagram star and i don't know, it's just different, "

it was accurate, sunoo was extremely popular. he had a bunch of friends and acquaintances from being the vice president. 

sunoo inflated up on social media for his content from makeup to dance practices, a versatile instagram star.

you conceal your face with your hands before emitting a loud groan.

sunoo remarks, "i don't know how i can help you (y/n)? maybe you should try to rest a bit"

"easy for you to say, you, who isn’t dealing with a mid-life crisis, " you whine.

"this isn't a mid-life crisis, this is a post-graduation crisis which is totally normal. how about going out of town? obviously not to paris or whatever but maybe, what was her name again? minjoo's town!" sunoo suggested.

"obviously not to paris"

"not to paris"

"to paris"

"paris"

what about paris? paris was considerably away from your town and had a ring on the tip of your tongue. 

you had sprung up, grasping sunoo by the shoulder and shaking him, "you're a genius sunoo! paris is a genius idea."

sunoo's eyes widen and he shakes his head while attempting to pry your hands off of him.

"no, you have to think rationally-"

you released sunoo from your hold which let him stabilize his spinning head.

"and i am! i need something new. being in this town for my whole life makes me realize, maybe i just need a spontaneous trip. "

your words scarcely blur together, adrenaline rushing through your blood as you understood this could jolt you out of your post-graduation slump.

"but-"

"no buts! pass me my laptop,"

present-day

you are currently disliking your choice, anxiety rushing through your veins, but it's too overdue to have other opinions.

you had landed in france and this was a life-altering moment; a chance of a lifetime.

peering nearby, you squint at the tiny english translations of the signs. you pull out your phone.

you open up the camera to see if zooming in would improve it for your eyes. as if on cue, your stomach rumbles vaguely making you startled.

you panicked as the pocket that was previously supplied with snacks became loaded with empty wrappers.

maybe if you would be lost in this wonderful city, you might as well try some of their famous pastries.

your muscles had retracted, the result of finally getting some movement after being restrained in a metal machine that was adjacent to the fiery sun.

you stumbled across this petite bakery and enter, sparingly bowing your head. 

the owner was an older lady with her greying hair that designed it to resemble ashy highlights, pulled into a loose bun.

"que puis-je vous offrir?" she smiles.

"i'm sorry, i don't speak french?" you admit, embarrassed

as much as you assumed duolingo and rosetta stone could benefit you on a flight to paris, the only thing you could accomplish to say without messing up is "bonjour"

"that's fine mademoiselle! what can i offer you?" the lady shifts to englsih

you let out a sigh of relief, appreciative for blundering into this bakery.

"may i have your most popular pastry to go and a water bottle?" you smile, fishing out some euros.

you had looked down to the currency that you had exchanged before embarking on the plane.

"of course mademoiselle!" she says, reaching behind the counter and with her gloved hand, seizing a chocolate croissant.

"that will be 4.12 euros!" she rings you up in the cashier.

"is this the right amount? i'm not very good at counting euros," you revealed your hand where the money was.

she nodded her head and took the money, printing your receipt out. before giving you your receipt, she interviews you with a question that you weren't confident in answering"

"if you don't mind me asking, why are you here in france? not to sound rude! but i'm just curious"

you softly smile, sensing the kindness illuminating from her tone of voice. she wasn't rude at all and she was asking a simple question, but your brain struggled to obtain an answer.

"well, i would say i'm here to explore?  i just finished high school and life felt incomplete. my best friend jokingly said "go to paris" and so I booked a ticket."

you look back up at her to see her delicate gaze. the rustling of the paper bag stopped the moment of silence

"that's amazing mademoiselle! france is the city for that. you must visit the notre-dam cathedral while you're here, it's beautiful. and maybe even find some love?"

she winks at you and you engage with a small giggle.

just like the show "emily in paris," you could merely fantasize about living a life like hers but it was an altered universe. she was an employed woman and you; a fresh graduate from high school.

"maybe! but i'm not looking forward to dating right now"

it wasn't a lie nor the truth. you would love to date someone right now but dating someone from a foreign country with a language barrier? not the most desirable idea. the owner laughs, handing you your pastry and water bottle.

"thank you for dropping by here mademoiselle! please enjoy your time in france,"

"merci beaucoup" you stumbled out, providing a small wave out.

the airport seemed to be more crowded than before. slowly opening the wrapping, you take a bite of the chocolate croissant and let out an audible gasp.

unquestionably, one of the greatest pastries you have tried in your life.

you promptly pull out your phone, snapping a picture for your instagram story. it was an adorable picture with the bakery in the background with the chocolate croissant in hand.

with "just landed" as your caption, you posted it to your close friends story. almost a second later, sunoo request to video call you.

you were welcomed by a piercing shriek into the phone.

"YAH I WAS JUST GREETED BY YOUR PARENTS WHO SAID YOU WERE AT A SLEEPOVER FOR A COUPLE DAYS? SLEEPOVER MY FOOT? YOU'RE IN PARIS-" 

sunoo screeches over the phone and you timidly grimace, turning down the volume as people begin to stare.

"sunoo, i'm currently in a public airport with no earbuds plugged in, can you please STOP screaming?" you whispered audibly to him.

"OH, I FORG- sorry," sunoo sheepishly responds.

"my parents would never let me go this far so i just had to lie that i was going to a sleepover at minji's house which is out of town. plus i'm only going to be here for two days," you consult him.

"you saw me buy the tickets sunoo. why are you scolding me now? shouldn't you have tried to stop me while i was in the middle of buying the tickets?" you added.

"well now i want you to come back, who am i supposed to hang out with for the next 2 days?" 

though it was dark in the setting sunoo was in, you could practically see his pouting face.

"you could hang out with jake? or sunghoon? aren't they both your friends?"

jake and sunghoon went to the same school as sunoo and you're buddies with them. you've known each other since middle school but jake and sunghoon were always closer to each other just like you and sunoo.

"jake and sunghoon hyung are busy on a vacation together in the bahamas"

you stifled a laugh in, "good luck being alone for the next two days."

"not funny (y/n)! besides that point, what if you get caught?"

"don't worry, i won't get caught because you're the only one who knows about this .as long as you don't rat me out sunoo," you scowl at him.

"i won't, i won't, i promise but you have to buy me something? deal?”

you roll your eyes, "deal mr. sunoo-shi, i have to go now. i need to try to find my hotel"

"be safe, love you!"

"i will! love you too"

you sulk after the call ends. without your best friend on your side, you felt a little feeble and lost but it's not time to be pondering like that. 

paris awaits and you couldn't linger at the airport the whole day.

first challenge 

getting to your hotel was a struggling. wandering around a city with no basis of the language besides "hello" and "thank you so much", didn't do enough for you.

first, you had to find a taxi that could converse in english. most people had turned you down as you couldn't speak french.

thankfully, it was a fortunate day and you met this kind lady who had coffee-colored curly locks, gentle chocolate eyes, and light freckles scattered around her face.

"do you speak english?" you crisscrossed your fingers, your legs close to giving out after scrambling for taxi drivers

"yeah, i do mademoiselle! would you like to hop in?" she extended a friendly smile and you had never felt bricks lift off your chest faster.

she opened the back of the taxi and you scouted in, permitting your purse to lay on your lap.

the women examined both directions of the road, looking out for passing cars and entered the driver's seat.

"where are you heading mademoiselle?"

you swiftly pull out your phone to your notes, "hotel le walt paris?"

you corked your eyebrow, making sure it was the right name before she nodded her head. 

"a very famous hotel huh? right near the eiffel tower. i recommend that you wait till it gets dark and sit on the balcony to see the eiffel tower with lights. it's beautiful"

you smiled at the kind words of the lady, "i will surely try that! thank you miss..?"

"elena! elena is fine and you mademoiselle?"

"i'm (y/n)"

"it's nice to meet you"

"likewise"

the entire ride, you felt at some peace finally conversing with someone who understood english,

 after a 30 minute drive, you had arrived at your destination.

feeling a sad departure from this mellow woman, who turned out to be 19 seeking to make some pocket money in the summer, she was one of the first people that you had grown connected with throughout this ride.

"elena, though it was a short time, thank you for keeping company"

you present her with a warm smile as she unlocks the door for you. you exit the taxi, clasping at your phone.

"here, give me your phone."

you softly planted it in elena's hand. you were perplexed about why she showed you your home screen until you realized you had a password.

you enter your password, giving it back to her. she did a bit of clicking and you could see her hands typing something in before returning the phone back to you.

"that's my instagram, stay in contact with me alright?"

you felt the sides of your lips curve into a slight smile. you dragged her into a soft hug.

"thank you elena"

she visibly hesitant before easing into the hug. she softly rubbed your back.

"i have to go, i might get fired if i stay here too long"

you bided her a fare-well. thirty minutes was an extended time to get a know a person.

and that was the first friend you met in france.

second challenge

checking into your hotel wasn't as difficult. most people could speak english and besides the uncanny looks that you received from the clerk, check-in was pretty smooth.

"here you are mademoiselle" the bellman lowers your suitcase in front of your hotel door.

"merci beaucoup,"  you smile and he returns the gesture before leaving you.

you look down in your hand where you are grasping the card tightly. you scan the card against the door meter and it flickers twice. 

red, green

the door clicks before you push on it and reveal your hotel room.

at first glance, your mouth dropped.

the hotel room seemed better than it did on the online photographs which was a rare possibility.

though it was a small room, it was renovated beautifully.

overhead the king-sized bed, there was an extensive painting of the eiffel tower. a blue chair that held a place directly by the bed along with a little wooden table.

the hotel was fine but you definitely weren't

"(y/n) shut down in,"

"3"

"2"

"1"

before thinking, you throw yourself on the bed having the jet-lag kicking in. the bag offers a 'thump' sound as it connects with the ground.

'ouch that hurt'

you fish through your pocket, pulling out your phone. it was hardly twelve pm and you were already fatigued.

what was your strategy? you were in france for two days and you don't have a plan to do anything.

first things first, you needed to sort out this jet-lag.

 1) taking a shower

showers are always a great way to awaken and could shake you from this daze. you endured a scream as your water turned to be ice cold. someone must be utilizing the hot water. that shower unmistakably woke you up

2) skincare

after getting out of the shower, skincare was the secondary way to wake up. cleansing with toner, dropping essence into the skin, and implementing a nice coat of moisturizer to lock-in.

3) fueling with food

food can beat anybody out of slumber if they're fueled with enthusiasm but you didn't have any food on you? that indicates it's time to go out and explore france.

unfastening up your suitcase, you drabble on what you can wear.

reconciling with a simple pair of denim shorts and a light pink tank top, you catch a fast mirror selfie.

being content with the ultimate product, you smile to yourself.

"phone, key, wallet," you whispered, securing the thoughts of having everything. 

everything was arranged to go and it was time to tour paris.

third challenge 

cruising through paris would be by notably the toughest challenge while you were here.

you had your phone to navigate solely with wifi and you couldn't be that favorable to be able to meet people who could speak english all the time. 

you had entered a small restaurant, where you worked to communicate with people in defective french but they moderately understood what you wanted.

after that fiasco trying to order a chicken frricassee, you were able to appreciate your time there along with sending a picture to sunoo who reacted with,

"can that be the souvenir you bring back to me TT?"

you chuckled at the message, knowing typical sunoo, and finished up eating.

eating wasn't the one exclusive thing available in france. there were various activities but you were too afraid to venture any future for the hotel. getting lost too was easy.

that being said, eating after eating all you could do was roam around the city. it was around 2pm and you could spot a diverse crowd of people.

you could see kids. in uniforms that just got out of school or a cute couple that was experiencing their date.

you slightly squint and cover your eyes as the sun is at its highest point.

yes, paris was lovely and you would prefer to travel more but but you didn’ toriginally have a plan

for a couple of hours, you completed wandering around the area where your hotel is. you wished at moments like this that you would have jungwon, sunoo's friend, with you to help navigate you.

 jungwon was also a friend you guys met in middle school but he went to your school. very mature for his age and great at preparation.

before you knew it, the sun had died down and it was time to retreat to the hotel.

'ah right! elena told me to look out at the eiffel tower as it gets darker'

you softly tread back to your hotel, observing the blisters at the back of your foot.

you could clearly sense the entire day of walking take a toll on your body.

you scan your key card and fling your bag to the floor as soon as you get inside. you open up your suitcase to change into suitable sleeping clothes.

you briskly cleansed your face and tied your hair back.

you had approached the balcony, guessing how to cautiously open the glass door.

you gradually shift the handle to the right and the door made a scanty creek. you gingerly put more stress on it, opening the balcony wide.

a distinct gasp could be heard from you.

subsequently taking a step onto your balcony, the frail breeze made you quiver in the long black tee that adorned your top half and the sweatpants that settled on your waist.

the balcony was small, barely able to move besides staying still.

you had peered to your right, glancing at the eiffel tower.

elena was correct. the eiffel tower was breath-taking at night. for the first time when landing in france, you could feel in harmony. below you was a crowded street.

it was only 8 pm yet you could feel your eyes droop as opposed to the bouncy pair of kids that ran through the moobs of people.

the radiant yellowish glow of the eiffel tower was able to save you from dozing off. you softly hum 'fly me to the moon,'

'fly me to the moon,' didn't have significance, it felt appropriate in the second.

you hadn't regarded it but a figure had gently peeked out of the other balcony, attentively listening to the silky melody that you were humming.

"nice song"

a voice interrupts and your humming had come to a halt, eyes widened.

you had turned to the origin of the voice and discovered the culprit

the balcony alongside you.

"thank you"

you glanced over, granting him a slight smile before he returns it.

"new to paris?"

he questioned, now you guys facing each other.

"yeah, just arrived this morning, and you?"

you asked before he softly smiles.

"not really, i've been here multiple times but the feeling is something i'll get used too."

you hum as a response

"how did you know to speak english to me? do i really act like a foriegner?"

you were growing more drowsy but this stranger was fascinating. who else could say they met someone and talked to them from a balcony romance?

"english song, random guess"

you nodded your head, not certain if he could see you but that was all you could muster up.

there grows stillness beside the bustling street below until the stranger breaks it.

"i know this sounds weird but since you're new here, would you like to go out with me tomorrow to travel the city?"

that question felt like ice water was just splashed onto your face. the proposal startled you. 

the stranger didn't appear like a bad person. been to paris varied times, can acknowledge good music and good at conversation.

as much as this stranger flatter you, how could you trust him?

"as much as i would love to, how do i know that you're not trying to kidnap me, even worse, kill me?"

he stifles a laugh.

"hey knock it off, this is a very serious question, balcony boy"

you snicker, desiring to know the answer than anticipated.

"i promise you that i won't try to kidnap OR kill you. i'm just offering and you can even pat me down before we go out together."

this was by far one of the most peculiar offers you had received but this was THE stranger offer you came to france seeking.

you know sunoo would not advocate for numerous reasons and you can hear his voice already 

"number one, dangerous"

"number two, dangerous!"

"number three, DANGEROUS!"

but sunoo isn't here right now. you chose to grab the opportunity. france had provided you luck today.

"alright then"

a moment of silence goes by before you hear him clearing his throat.

"you're serious right?"

he glances at you and your eyes lock. though you can't see that well due to the absence of light, you nod.

the eiffel tower gave you enough light that you could make our curious eyes, tall nose, fair skin that radiated in the soft lighting, and full lips that were curved into a smile

"i'll see you at the lobby at eight,"

next morning

to say you were nervous was an understatement, you were terrified. you agreed to a stranger who claimed to know paris like the back of his palm. you met him off your balcony and now you were agreeing to go a date with him? 

"you must be out of your mind!" sunoo exclaimed through the phone.

"well yes i must have been at 8 pm last night when fatigue was hitting the hardest but how can i say no now?"

"i don't know maybe, I DON'T KNOW YOU STRANGER DANGER?" sunoo shouts

and like you foretold last night, sunoo was not a big supporter of this idea. over the course of fifteen minutes, you had been continuously scolded by him.

you cringe, " sunoo, i promise that i'll be fine. i just need you to help me pick out an outfit"

sunoo rolls his eyes, "what are your options?"

though sunoo wasn't supportive of this, he couldn't let you go on a date without style.

you held up two choices; a blue floral dress that settled to your mid-thigh and a pink tennis skirt with a white cami shirt.

"well do we like this guy or do we like LIKE this guy?" sunoo questioned.

"what- well i literally met him last night? so i don't even like him, we're just going out for this one day since he offered"

"uh-huh, then the blue floral dress, it's hot there right?" sunoo says

"super hot," you groan.

you glance at the time, 7:00 am.

"i have to start getting ready sunoo, i'll update you later alright?" you smile

"alright, try not to get killed but have fun too! love you"

"love you too," you say back before hanging up.

you quickly hop in the shower and make sure to not take too long.

doing skincare, putting on the outfit, and spraying a little bit of perfume, you are ready to head out the door.

one last check to make sure you have all the things.

7:58 am

you quickly head down to see several people in the lobby.

a bellman, a pair of teenage girls who seemed like they were dragged here, a couple around the mid-40s trying to check-in, and a teenage boy that rested on one of the lobby seats.

it was evident who the balcony boy was but you just called out to be safe.

"balcony boy," you say.

the teenage boy that was seated turns around before flashing you a smile. 

"miss singer,"

you airly chuckle at the nickname.

observing him in person was a lot different. you could see his long body proportion, bright eyes, sharp jawline, with fair skin that complimented his rich brown hair.

a distinct experience from seeing him on the balcony.

"i'm (y/n)! and you?" you ask

"i'm lee heeseung"

[a-simple-complexity]

Things about the creepypasta improv thing my close friend and I have been doing since 4th or 5th grade (maybe longer):

- My character doesn't really have a cp name yet but has been around for 401 years

- My character, when not at the mansion, is roomies with JTK (and he steals cheese its)

- Vivian's (the close friend) character is close to Slenderman and has a older sister bond with Sally

- Aside from the Jeff The Cheeze Itz Snatcher gag we have more running gags

- Such as Masky locking Toby in the closet when he's annoying only to turn around and see Toby standing there.... MENACINGLY (lol)

- LJ punts Mr Widemouth across the mansion weekly

- EJ is no longer allowed to cook for others after the barbeque of 2017. We miss you, Butler Bill

- Tuesdays and Thursdays Viv's character takes pets and children out the mansion for a playdate while everyone else has some fun

- Viv's Hidden Stash of Tuna TM

- My Hidden Stash of Vodka and Rum TM

- My character might have a problem but then again immortals aren't really affected by alcohol like most mortals are

- Speaking about my character: Holy. Pets.

- They have a bunch of guard dogs (despite them all being guard dogs they are pampered like you wouldn't believe)

- Pastas respect COVID stuff. Slender ordered everyone to scatter until it's mellowed out alot. Slender caught it at some point. They say get the vaccine and wear ya damn mask.

- There's a "Community Garden". It's just a few pitcher plants, some Butterworts, a killer cow plant (courtesy of Ben pulling some strings), a small patch of wither roses (courtesy of Herobrine), and a oran berry plant (courtesy of a few poke-pastas), rose bushes, etc

- Holidays are fun too

- Christmas time is filled with my character and Viv's taking Sally, Jane, Clockwork, and Nina out for a "girls" night

- Granted Nina only gets taken along bc despite the love-hate relationship between my character and Jeff, Jeff deserves time away from Nina during the holidays at least

- Also despite Jeff hating Nina he appreciates the knives she gives him (and return he gives her some sort of card)

- Due to staying in the vents constantly and stalking everyone my character gets everyone what they think they like would like

- Christmas lights everywhere. Splendor always gets Offender to put the star on top the comically large tree just bc

- Despite it not being Christmas music, everyone listens to Hotel California by The Eagles

- and watches Christmas movies (what was that Christmas movie with Tim Allen?)

- Everyone plays in the snow. Jeff decides to start a snowball fight and Sally makes a snow man.

- Everyone wears something festive and it's normally an ugly sweater thanks to Trender

- Spiked nog anyone?

- Thanksgiving includes everyone gathering together and having fun

- A small hunting trip is planned instead of a football game (the hunt takes place the day prior bc no one wanna miss the parade)

- Sally's favorite float is the Charlie brown float

- You know how the president pardons a turkey? Slender pardons a victim (and has been doing it since meeting Viv's character bc of a joke Viv made)

- My character makes mashed potatoes or some sort of really outdated dish from the 1700's

- The Slender Bros, Viv's character, Sally, Toby, Smile Dog, Jeff, and Nina all watch the dog show after the parade

- Nina is kinda allergic to dogs and doesn't really like them but bc of her lingering obsession with Jeff she puts up with it

- Offender and Trender argue over what dog they think should have won (funny to watch to grown immortal-ass men argue over this)

- Slender carves the turkey

- The pardoned victim is allowed to stay for dinner granted a majority of memories get changed (not really erased, just changed)

- My character, Jeff, and Ben all walk through the woods before dinner and get fucking plastered (and think no one notices....everyone notices)

- the week of Thanksgiving the tree gets put up (acceptable if it's the week of Thanksgiving, any other time then it's just weird)

- My characters mom, (considered the co-founder of Hell) pops in, steals a couple slices of pie, and leaves

- Halloween is celebrated kind of like Thanksgiving and Christmas

- My character decorates the mansion with various bones

- 31 Days of Horror Movies (at some point it's decided to watch Earnest Scared Stupid and some of the serious dog lovers opt out)

- The Slender Brothers dress up as the three musketeers. Splendor is Porthos, Offender is Athos, Slender is D'artagnan and, Trender is Aramis

- Jeff and my character do a duel costume by dressing of as Mungojerrie and Rumpleteazer from Cats (musical not movie, duh) alternatively they dress as Rum Tum Tugger and Mr. Mistoffelees.

- Sally dresses as Carrie or a fairy princess

- Jane, Clockwork, Nina, Viv's Character dress up as four of the five muses from Hercules (Viv changes last minute to a cat due to her character having cat ears and a cat tail)

- Toby, Masky, and Hoodie originally wanted to dress as the three musketeers but after slender took that idea they decide to dress up as separate things. Toby dresses as Masky. Masky dresses as the phantom of the opera and Hoodie is a ghost.

- Smile dog dresses as a hot dog :P

- A small hunting trip is planned and Jane and Clockwork take Sally trick or treating

- Everyone finishes the month with A Night are Before Christmas (a classic)

- Not many celebrate Valentine's day

- It's really only the Slender Bros, Viv's character, My character, Nina, Toby, Masky & Hoodie, and Sally

- and by Sally I mean she just leaves candy from the candy bowl everywhere

- Masky and Hoodie make a day of it since Slender gives them holidays off. They eat cheesecake in the woods and just spend the day together.

- Toby spends the day alone but still celebrates in his own way. Eating waffles.

- Offender (in our improv thing he's not....yeah....he's just a hopeless romantic that does consensual hook ups) and my character spend his their leaving roses out at restaurants and going to bars for hookups. They have a bunch of stuff worked out.

- Viv and Slender spend the day in bed or lounging in the living room watching some cheesy comedy.

- Trender spends the day as a self care day seeing as he's alone at the moment. Every day is self care for him but it's even more on Valentine's Day. He goes all out and even treats himself to a fancy restaurant.

- Splendor likes going to neighborhoods and leaving cute little poems on people's doors then heading to the zoo for personal time.

- Nina harasses Jeff who, in return, leaves the mansion and heads to the apartment him and my character share.

- New Years is something everyone celebrates. While some have resolutions others have new quotas they're trying to meet.

- Sally tries to stay up and watch the ball drop (she's only seen it drop twice before falling asleep)

- My character and Viv's character get shit faced

- Jeff normally sits there with a beer in one hand and Smile Dog beside him

- that's really all that consists of New Years

More about our two characters:

My character:

- a 401 year old demon thing

- in our universe hell is ran by the 7 devil's as well as my characters mother. Hells more of a city than a pit.

- Has lived with Jeff as a roommate since late 2018

- Use to be with Herobrine but broke it off with him for unknown reasons.....they're civil and still good friends. He's one of those people that could make a good boyfriend but is best as a close friend

- On their 400th birthday a crackening happened in Hell that enhanced their powers and they were hunted by Zalgo. Luckily a truce was established.

- Has been by Viv's character side since her characters soul was first created. More in Viv's Character's section

- Y'know those dogs that were talked about in the beginning? They primarily stay at their mothers mansion in Hell.

- Also all cats go to hell but they don't get hurt. They like to watch. Sometimes if you're lucky you might get a celebrity's cat. That's how my character got their lovely (and kinda douchy cat) Delilah. She likes to pee all over people's suits just bc she's like that.

- They were born in 1620 but are progressive

- Still liked fashion through the ages

- Maybe not the health damaging ones

- Is able to fly and teleport but due to back pain and migraines prefers to stay grounded and rarely use teleportation

- Doesn't actually kill much but has had souls sold to them (job as a demon....doesn't really need one though....is Crossroads Demon)

- Had a one night stand with Trender about 240ish years ago

- Does have proxies....it's those souls they take and barter around for

- Souls in hell can be used for currency depending on whether or not they sold their soul

- Anyways, was at some point known for having an obsession with chainsaws and hoodies...still has a bunch of hoodies and a chainsaw but doesn't really use them much (is more of a flannel and gun person now)

Viv's Character:

- her character managed to get everyone's favorite dwarfed rag doll cat from the internet

- Her character use to be with Entity 303 and ended up Slenderman

- that makes two of us who were with a Minecraft pasta and ended up with a slender brother lol

- I think her character is called Kat or KC so for now imma call her character Kat

- Kat has an addiction to tuna and milk

- Also has cat ears and a cat tail which are both very sensitive

- when Kat's soul was created my character was created. Even though Kat has been through many many reincarnations my character has always been alongside her. Even though my character doesn't die they act as a guardian towards Kat.

- Has a tendency to sit up in the cat walks and within the walls of the mansion alongside my character

- Gets lost in the forest from time to time and needs help getting out

- Despite being with Slender she has her own room to store her weapons and stash her plans.

- If I'm not mistaken Kat also was with Toby for a short while but doesn't talk about it much. Imagine dating your ex-lovers boss lol

- Disappears for up to a week sometimes without saying where she's going and when she comes back she acts as if nothing happened

- When both Kat and my character started living in the mansion they shared a room for about a year.

- Kat had a personal garden that was completely wiped out by Zalgo before a treaty was established and she still hasn't forgave him

- The garden mostly had marigolds and a few small plants. The only one that really mattered was Audrey the Venus fly trap.

[snow-wind-and-all-we-will-find]

Hi! My names arthur and im working on improving my word and building my story, which currently has no name haha! I have a myriad of characters who ill try to list out and give brief descriptions of, aether is technically my main character and some of the characters who are up for question are dead in canon. But you can still ask them stuff, itll just be set before death.

When asking characters questions, rememeber to include the name, their age if theres diffrent ages, i dont mind repeated questions, but if you see the question try not to ask it again lol. If you cant find it with a quick scroll just ask it, although i dont know if this blog will even get that big.

Aether

He comes in three evolutions lol, technically, theres four but idk if i would count 7 year old aether.

Ages: 13 yo - colder, hasnt gotten used to emotions, there are two to this as well, pre-rev and then post-rev 13 yo aether, remember to specify lol.

16 yo- a bit more out there, still kinda disconnected and figuring things out, a bit more defensive

22 yo- lax, hes sorta figured shit out, hes not going to go grazy, hes just gonna be chill lol.

!The gaggle Ghosts!

Yurei

Her personality is very, ehhh, becuase i havnt done work with her, and i havnt completly figured out who she is fully yet, shes 18 yo when aether is 22 yo

18 yo- pretty oblivious, somehow still a bit cynical, very nice and sometimes motherly

Kakoku

Few thousand- mean, likes to bully yurei as he huants her, lowkey a simp for yurei but he wont admit that. Kinda cynical and likes to bring others down, generally a bully

Tamashi

19- emotionless, has to be a really strong emotion to make her emote, tends to stray away from other people, likes to be alone, blunt

Gunnar

A few thousand- sweet, warm and welcoming, tries to be very fatherly and a trusted figure, is very busy most of the tiime unfortunatly though.

!The greek gang!

Argus agapov

16- unstable, pretty baby, protective over friends and family

Mythos agapov

23- whore. He also loves his family, lowkey, hes a trad wife

Perceus

15/16- timid, intrested in posiosn and acids, generally quiet, likes to eat leaves, scaredy cat

Diogenes

14- germ of phobe, kind of a brat, more just a bitch, will yell at you if he sees your hands were dirty from gardening or something while you’re walking to the sink, other than that hes fine, picky eater

Herodotus

15- disorginized, trys his best, likes to write stuff down, helps plato with his writing and grammar in general, gullible, likes record data, has a nice typewriter with tha good clicky clack

Plato

8- sweet baby boi, loves his older brother (socrates), idolizes him even, not a good idea though. He writes down everything socrates does, sometimes he imitates his brother as well.

Socrates

17- dumb of ass, also just dumb, held back a grade, feral child, bites alot of people, soft aestechic but hed stab as a warning

Heracles

30- also dumb of ass, loves cars in that ‘mah babeh’ kinda way. Hates motorcycles, he thinks they’re ugly. Chaotic but he utilizes it to be the weird and cool uncle/cousin thing

Zeus

46- too tired for this shit, is a dad, went out to get milk, jk jk, dissapeared for a hot few years, probably got captured by some gang dunno, it happens. Very serious, would make the dumbest jokes with his brothers with a straight face

Hades

50- lowkey the neglected middle child, soft goth lookin ass, loves his kid, tries his best to raise his kid, sometimes gets help from esme

Poseidon

57- proud stay at home dad, buff but does the typically wifely duties, makes sure his children get enough love, nutrience and care

Lillith

54- very active, the money maker, kinda soft, both her and her husband poseidon are so just in love with their kids, dote on them constantly, very extroverted, always makes time for her kids

Esme

51- tired of zeus’ shit, does her best to make sure no one dies, still treats mythos as her ‘little baby boy, tired mom vibes.

!the Eden gang!

Eden is a fictional country that i slapped onto the globe. It is where aether is from, technically aether is apart of the eden gang as well. Everyone here, if they have an age option, the first age option is the age they are when aether is 13, and the second will be when aether is 16 unless stated otherwise

General kyelli

49- fatherly, thinks of most of the gang as his children, calls everyone ‘son’, as a general rule. If you ask for another nickname, he will do his best. Has a bad knee, and is kinda of bad at existing physically

52+- fatherly still, loves almonds, always has a bag of almonds, dont test him. Enjoys travel, might adopt people he meets along the way, still has pains but now he sees doctors, wants to stay active

Indigo

13- sweet, optimistic, always looks on the brightside and tries to see the good in others. Little heater, understands that sometimes fighting is the only option

Akrano

16- lively, very loose and relax, can get serious when needed though, always making jokes and trying to lighten up the mood

19- a bit more, mellow. Still quite lively and childish, but with two signifigant-others you have to settle down sometimes

Ekrano

16- lively, more stern than akrano and kinda worried, but ultimatly also very loose and bright

Lilliana

16- serious, seemingly colder towards everyone, gets along great with psycho-lops, makes him new eye-patches to pass time, actually just very monotone and blank most of the time, although she does care

19- she doesnt change much, she got a bit more expressive, likes babysitting howl

Psycho-lops

16 1/2- always looks determined, actually kinda scared of conflict, likes to help out with healing though, very proficient in it as well, sounds intimidating while talking about how cute puppies and kittens are

19/20- still the same, is considering studying medicine and medical practices to become a doctor.

Bark

17- bright, incredibly lively, loves to joke around and tease and sometimes bully the others, targets aether primarily, hangs out with his brother most of the time, he can fight for himself but he likes the backup, especcially since he is kinda glass-jawed, being that hes a twig

Bite

17- quiet, intense eyes, always sounds vaugly confused when he speaks, deep voice lol, likes to train, doesnt understand barks need to tease others, likes to read to the children

20- quiet, intense eyes still, more so nervous sounding, slightly paranoid, cluastrophobic and cant stand dusty places, usually in his house or at the docks, doesnt really go anywhere else

Hanelle

17- loud, headstrong, adamant about her opinions, gets along well with bark, she tries alot to be intimidating, not a twig, but not very big, pretty friendly and sociable

!the band of pirates!

Aklea

A few hundreds of years- kinda bored seeming, loves blood, technically cannibal, but not really since he isnt human, to an extent. Despite being fine on the ocean, he gets very car sick very easily. Actually quite nice, very easily triggerd into violence, especcially by something that could be used as a good murder weapon, blood makes him jittery and more lively

Nerone

21- calm, too calm, deals with akleas bullshit wonerfully, he just stands there, blank smile on his face as aklea beats the shit outta someone, unintrested in most anything, likes to draw, but hes a much better pastry chef.

!the shakespears!

Midem(pink boi)

33- lively, loves to work with kids, very creative, likes to make things, mainly art, mainly carvings. Often make little minitures of scenes from midens writing, loves his twin, does anything it takes to fund midens intrests. Very loving to those hes close to

Miden

33- calmer by alot lmao, pretty introverted but he can hold a long conversation without becoming too drained, enjoys writing and making stories, also makes plays for fun, runs off little sleep cuase he stays up so late to write, and gets up early to write.

!gods!

Gideon

9 billion- confused boomer, loves his ‘children’, hates to be hated, always tries to help in anyway he can, despite making them, always curious into what mortals are doing, loves the universe he created and does anything he can to protect it

Merik

7 million- sore loser, does get a little salty, ultimatly bounces back and becomes a very good sport, always will adopt tactics, whatever it takes to win within the rules, keeps most all of his trophies from random feats hes done

Ventus

5 billion - calm, straightforward, tends to disregard others and do things himself, likes to sit on cliffs and watch the ocean

Kyle

Hes been around since 776 bc- very loud, lively, bright, tries his best to educate people on proper form, workout regime i intesne, doesnt allow others to take it, makes custom workout regimes for free, owns a gym, dude bro but hes nice, baby

Horo-sha

Her age technicaly is not accurate, shes like, 2 billion? Since dima was made right after her death. But since her history still lives, ima count it

5 billion but older than ventus- bitter, violent, former god of justice, fucking dead haha, hates mortals, primarily humans

Dima

Also not super accurate, hed only be a few centuries of being an active god before being sealed, but since hes technically, concious and has cognitive function hes counted

3 billion- mean lol, likes blood and gets even more violent when it starts getting messy, ‘new’ god of justice, uh, pretty bad at it like the last one, but worse, will kill over slight misdeameanors, everythings a crime smh

!misc!

Ivan

24- softspoken, from imperial russia, died young, he no longer feels his face is his own, has a mask that he likes better, has the sickness, but since he was human it killed him, can control it post mortem, is strong enough to be seen, but weak enough he can go invisible and go through solid objects.

More ocs will be added when i remember them, or create new ones, characters i dont really have built at all are not included

[loveaurapearl]

Tiger Misanthropic (Part 1)

(Fanfic I made, about my fan fusion of Jasper and Steven. Takes place after Prickly Pair and has reference to self-harm and mental breakdowns, mostly in part two. Here’s a link to part two by the way. Link: https://loveaurapearl.tumblr.com/post/190464683545/tiger-misanthropic-part-2 )

Steven looked at the outside of his house, Bismuth, Pearl, Garnet, and Amethyst were helping rebuild the building after Cactus Steven had runaway. He sadly smiled as Bismuth walked up to him. “Thanks for helping us rebuild my house, Bismuth. Sorry for the inconvenience.” He said with a little bit of shame. Bismuth laughed. “It’s alright, Steven. It’s no problem. Besides, after finishing up on the construction of little homeworld, I was hoping for another big job.” She said with gusto. Steven laughed awkwardly and looked to the side. Bismuth noticed this and put her hand on his shoulder. “Hey, are you okay? The OG gems told me about the cactus creature and how it mimicked you. If there’s anything you want to talk about, I’m always up to the task if you don’t want to tell the others.” Bismuth offered. Steven looked at her and softly smiled. “Thanks for the offer. But… I’ll be fine. I just… need some space.” He said as he tried to back off telling anyone. Bismuth folded her arms. “Steven, you know better than anyone that bottling your emotions isn’t healthy. You NEED to talk to SOMEONE about this. If you can’t trust me or the Crystal Gems, who can you trust with these feelings?” Bismuth questioned him. He sighed and clutched his fists. “I know. I know. But I don’t want to hurt anyone's feelings… especially after what happened with Cactus Steven.” Steven told her. He felt nervous. Bismuth sighed. “Steven, I know you’re scared. But remember, you can trust the Crystal Gems to handle this. Just talk to them. However, if you’re really that scared of hurting their feelings, perhaps you should talk to someone who won’t care that you are saying whatever you’re afraid of saying. I mean, it’s not like they’d care.” Bismuth explained as she provided options. Steven blinked as an idea came into his head. “Someone who won’t care… I just know just the gem for the job. Thanks, Bismuth. I’m gonna go out and talk to them. You tell the gems I’m off to Little Homeworld.” Steven said with a happy grin. Bismuth smiled. “Well, okay then. Just be sure you don’t destroy anything! I’ll go back to Buismuth!” Bismuth said as she made a terrible pun. Steven chuckled and walked over to the Dondai. He got in and soon began to drive away.

The air was crisp as the young teen walked through the woods. He looked ahead and then stopped and looked back. He groaned. “Why am I doing this? She’s not going to listen to me, and she doesn’t want to teach me anything. This is NEVER going to work!” Steven told himself as he began to have doubts. He shocked his head. “No, I need to talk to SOMEONE! I need to do something other than be around the crystal gems. To be around the mess I made.” The last part said out of shame. He turned around and continued walking until he was in Jasper’s area. He stopped just before the plucked ground, took in a deep breath and looked around for Jasper. He made sure to look for anything bumpy since it would be a given that she was camouflaging herself again. However, he didn’t see anything out of the ordinary.

“Hello? Jasper, I know you’re here. I’ve come to talk to you.” Steven yelled out. An annoyed groan came from the cave and Jasper exited from behind the drape. She looked at the boy with a frustrated look on her face. “What are you doing here? Do you want to recruit me for your crummy school again or do you want me to teach you how to fight like a real quartz? I was really hoping that since you stopped visiting me awhile back, you had given up trying to ‘convert’ me into believing the same weak ideals as you.” Jasper interrogated him. Steven rolled his eyes. “Jasper, I’m not here to force you to do something you don’t want to do. Besides, I’ve given up running the school. I don’t have the authority to enroll you as a teacher anymore. Not to mention, I only want to help you! Nothing about you has changed since the last time we’ve met. You’re still here, still hating yourself, still directionless! I was at least TRYING to give you a purpose!” Steven yelled at her. Jasper snorted and chuckled. “Wait… (Laughs.) Did YOU give up on that crummy school of yours? I thought you loved bossing other gems around, Rose. Using them so you could feel like you were one of the Diamonds. But I guess a weakling like you couldn’t handle being in charge.” Jasper retorted, getting under Steven’s skin.

“NO! I made the school to help gems! I didn’t make it so I could feel like a diamond! Plus, I’m not Rose Quartz or Pink Diamond! Get it through your head! Besides, the Crystal gems can handle the school without me. All I was doing was getting in the way of everyone’s dreams.” Steven said as his anger turned into self-hatred. He shocked his head as Jasper laughed. “You truly are a worthless piece of dirt, Rose. Why are you even here to begin with? Shouldn’t you be oft doing whatever earthlings do instead of bothering me.” Jasper asked as she crossed her arms in smug pride. Steven looked at her with a worried look on his face. “Well, I… I…” He began to say but began to freeze up. He lowered his head and whispered to himself, “Come on Universe. You can do this. Just… Just talk about it.” He took a deep breath and then lifted his head. “I… need your help.” He said as the words felt like daggers in his chest. This surprised the big Cheeto ball, but she quickly sneered at him. “With what? Helping fight some monster you unleash, or maybe helping those earthlings? Couldn’t you just use or fuse with one of your weakling gems to deal with it?” Jasper asked, not really wanting to help him. The young teen shocked his head. “No, it’s nothing like that. You saw what was wrong with me when we fought recently. You are the only gem whom I can trust to talk about my problems. I… I can’t talk to the others about this, otherwise, I’ll just hurt them,” He said as his mind immediately flashed back to his fight with Cactus Steven and what happened at the reef.

“What are you even talking about, dirtbag?” Jasper as she walked closer to him as a threat. Steven took in a deep breath and then looked Jasper in the eyes. “Jasper… you were right about me. I am nothing without my friends. Everyone in Beach city is moving away to bigger and better stuff, and I don’t know what to do with my life. I thought if I worked really hard at Little Homeworld, I could fill this empty void in my heart, but after Little Homeworld’s Graduation, I realized that the school doesn’t need me. I tried improving Amethyst’s mentorship plan, but I took it over and forced everyone into the roles I wanted. I couldn’t fix Volleyball’s scar… my mom’s first pearl from the damage dealt to her by Pink Diamond in the past. I was tricked into believing Bluebird Azurite wanted to change for the better, then had to watch my dad lose a good chunk of his hair to get away from her. I had to go through a lot of trouble making a gem safety video for Sunstone, using MYSELF as the genie pig for the lesson. I’ve been using that Pink form you saw me in our fight, throwing tantrums left and right. Bubbling my friends in a dome and almost crushing them to death! And, when I tried to relax and enjoy gardening, I create a cactus monster that Spewed Out EVERY TERRIBLE THOUGHT I HAVE ABOUT MYSELF AND THE GEMS, THEN LEFT ME ALONE AFTER I APOLOGIZED!” He soon fell to his knees and began to cry. “Why… why can’t I fix this? Why do I need people? Why… why am I like this?” He asked himself, the pain was overwhelming. Jasper looked at the boy in shock. She was trying her best to process what just happened. She then sneered at him. “Pathetic.” She said, causing Steven to sniffle and look up to her. Tears were streaking his face as her massive form hovered over him.

“I knew you were some snot nose kid before, but this… this is just low, even for you. You badger on and on about how I NEED help and how you try to give me a purpose, when you, the ‘savior’ of the galaxy, don’t even know your own. Hahahaha. Oh, the irony. You truly are something kid.” Jasper said. Steven holds himself, the pain of her words dug deep. He gritted his teeth. “THAT’S NOT WHAT I WANT TO HEAR!” He yelled, his body becoming engulfed in pink light. Jasper jumped back. Steven stood up as the tears flowed down his face. “I… I just wanted to hear someone say, ‘It’s going to be alright Steven… Everything is going fine. We love you.’ BUT NO! All you do mock me! Call me names and belittle me for feeling this way! I thought you would understand! I thought you understood how it felt to be constantly under the pressure to be something more! I thought you could relate your feelings of worthlessness to my own! I thought you would help me out in my time of need! I… I thought you would fuse with me…” He said, the last bit, surprised both himself and Jasper.

“You… want to fuse with me?” Jasper said in surprise. Steven held himself as the ‘pink state’ died down and he returned to his normal colors. “Yeah… I… I guess I do. Although I never thought I would say THAT to you, I guess you know now. I always remembered how you said nobody wanted to fuse with you. How you had to climb your way of Earth and had been fighting for your whole life to be free. I guess a part of me wanted to be that person to help you and fuse with. I never said that because… I… I was scared. I was scared of you rejecting me or worse, our fusion would be as unstable as Malachite. After all, we don’t see eye to eye, you JUST belittled me and said those awful things, and you don’t want to be a part of my life. I don’t want to give away my feelings to someone whom I can’t trust.” Steven confessed. Jasper looked down as she thought about what Steven said. The boy let out a sigh and got up. “I don’t even know why I bothered coming here. I guess my gut was right and I shouldn’t have gone up to visit you. I’ll be going now. I guess I’ll see you never. After all, why do I need to come back if I know you won’t help me?” He said in a cold voice. He began to walk away, but Jasper grabbed his hand, surprising the boy. He turned around and let out a confused “Huh?”. Jasper looked at the boy, then back at the ground. She began to move her mouth, but she soon shut it as if she had trouble talking. The young human/gem hybrid wasn’t used to seeing this from her. “Human… I never thought I was ever going to say this to you but… it’s going to be alright. I’m here.” She said, confusing the boy even more.

“Um… what’s going on?” He asked, very confused and a bit scared. Jasper sighed and then looked to the side. “Y… you are the first person to ever say something like that to me. Even after all this time, you still thought you could trust me with something as important as a fusion with you. That you trust me enough to think we are equals on the battlefield. It honestly surprised me.” Jasper said. Steven blushed in embarrassment. “Well, I could feel how much pain was in your heart, especially when you were corrupting. I thought if I could heal you, we could be friends. I thought fusion could help us see eye to eye for once. I don’t know if I could ever see the world as you do, but maybe this is just we need.” Steven said, offering a hand of friendship, “Although, it would be nice if you just called me Steven Universe instead of Rose.” He chuckled. Jasper rolled her eyes. “Fine. Just, don’t try and force me to live under the ocean like Lapis did or runaway like that Corrupted monster.” Jasper said. Steven smiled. “My lungs couldn’t even handle that much water. (Laughter.) But remember Jasper, we can’t stay the fusion for too long. Our minds could begin to deteriorate. And if you ever feel like you don’t want to be a part of this fusion, you can just unfuse with me and I’ll be fine. I won’t hold you back or try to keep us together as Lapis did.” Steven said, making sure Jasper knew all the rules. She just rolled her eyes. “Fine, whatever.” She stated in a calm voice.

“You take the lead. I’ve never seen you dance except with Lapis, so you’ll have to go first. I’ll sync my dance to yours.” Steven said a smile on his face. Jasper grumbled and began to dance. Her movement was crisp and clear like a ballerina dancer. Steven followed, syncing his movement with Jasper. The two gems stones glowed as they got closer. They soon do a pose together and their bodies soon turn into light and fuse into one large being. The light dissipated as the new being opened their eyes. “Wow! This… is new. This… is different.” They let out in surprise. They had a female voice, but it wasn’t a mash-up of Jasper or Steven’s voice, it was its own voice and it was a slightly higher pitch than Jasper and it sounds somewhat like Smokey Quartz, although not quiet.

The fusion looked at itself. They were about a few feet taller than Jasper, they had two sets of eyes, two arms and two legs. They had medium length brown hair that went to below their shoulders. They had two fairly-size horns that were larger than what Jasper had with the one on the left being larger, the one on the left was bent to the left and then shifted up, they had the same partner design as Jasper’s horns although their colors were mostly dark purple with one horn with an under layer of light purple. A dark purple wavy stripe was across most of Steven’s eyes, some of Jasper’s eyes, and most of Jasper’s gem. The gem was a light yellow, gold and dark brown color. A dark golden-brown stripe was on the fusion’s left cheek, and a stripe of dark golden-brown was across their upper chest. The top eyes of the fusion belonged to Jasper and the lower ones were Steven’s although his eyes looked sinister and they had fangs. Their main color was a light golden brown with darker golden-brown stripes, but they could also see from their arms that they also had two other colors, a deep dark purple-red and a lighter version of that color. They had only two arms with strips of dark golden-brown, dark purple and light purple on their right arm, and a stripe of light brown on their left arm and dark purple and light purple splotches on their left hand. They wore Steven’s jacket but the sleeves only reached halfway up their arms, Steven shirt wasn’t long enough so their stomach area was exposed, although Jasper’s top overlaid Steven’s shirt, covering most of it and blocking out most of the star with only the top bit poking out. Steven’s gem was exposed and around his gem were dark purple and light purple splotches around the gemstone like Cherry Quartz, although there was another blotch of dark purple and light purple on the right of their stomach, separate from the ones near the gem. The gem itself shows multiple shades of gold, yellow, and brown. Steven’s pants reached all the way to their ankles with Jasper’s boots on their feet. However, what surprised them the most was the fact that they had a long lizard-like tail with a row of spikes leading to the end of the tail. The spikes were a mix of the light golden-brown and the darker golden-brown while the tail itself had an upper layer of dark purple scales and a ‘belly’ layer of light purple scales.

“Wh-what the? A… a tail? Why do we have a tail? Why is it like that? If it’s a sign of corruption from you, Jasper, it should be like a dog’s tail, since ya know, that’s kind of what your corrupted form looked like.” The fusion asked itself as it began to panic. Suddenly the fusion slapped itself and took a deep breath. “Calm yourself, obviously this is Steven’s contribution to the fusion. B-but if it’s me, then does that mean I could? UGH! Shut up and calm down! You panicking like this isn’t going to solve anything, Universe. Besides, I don’t see why you should. Unless, you think us uncorrupted gems can NEVER fuse, otherwise we spread the ‘problem’ of corruption.” The fusion began to argue itself, pitching itself up whenever it was Steven in control and pitching itself down for Jasper. The fusion took in a deep breath and began to calm down. “No, everything is fine. We’re fine. This is fine… we’re just… fine.” They said, then smiled. They looked at their hands. “This… is fine.” They said again, then looked around in wonder. “So… this is how it feels to be us, huh. It… feels different. We don’t even know how to feel about ourselves. Still, what should we do now that we’re like this? We don’t want to just stay here and train. We want to experience this new existence. To do things we normally feel as Jasper…and maybe as Steven.” The fusion said, then an idea popped into their mind. “Oh! How about going to beach City! There are games and rides like Whackerman and Video games! But, ugh, that is so Human! I don’t want to interact with those… things. Oh, come on, Jasper, we got to meet halfway.” The fusion told itself.

The fusion sighed and held its nose gem. “Fine. We’ll go. Can we fly? I don’t know. Steg and Smokey Quartz can. Speaking of, what are we?” The fusion asked himself. They began to think. “Jasper and Pink Diamond…Rose quartz… ugh. I don’t know. We’re brown, we have strips, we have a tail, so maybe if we think together maybe it’ll just click like that. So… what’s gold/brown, has stripped, and has a tail… wait… a tiger! We’re Tiger Philanthropist… wait, who? Oh, an identity I made for wrestling way back. I could tell you his backstory if you want. … No. But we’re not this Tiger whatever, we’re a gem. What gem that’s like a Tiger? Wait… Tiger’s Eye! We’re a Tiger’s Eye!” Tiger’s Eye said as they realized what they were. They chuckled to themselves. “Aw man, that’s SO COOL!” They soon giggled to themselves. After a few seconds, they calmed down. “So, can we fly? I don’t know, let’s find out.” Tiger wondered before becoming determined.

They soon jumped high into the air, a few feet above the trees. They shifted their bodies to move forward, but they soon noticed that they weren’t gaining any height, they were just falling slowly towards the exit of the forest. “Ugh, no, we only have your floating powers.” They said in anger, but this made them begin to fall faster. They quickly grab onto a tree before they fell to their deaths. The momentum causes them to scratch on the tree until their momentum stopped. They sigh in relief before looking at the tree in shame. They lifted one of their arms, using their legs and their other arm to keep their position, then licked their hand and use Steven’s healing spit to repair the tree. “Sorry tree.” Tiger’s Eye said in its higher voice, then groan, “Don’t apologize. It’s just an earthling.” The fusion sighed in frustration and then jumped to tree to tree, getting a little bit lower each time until they were at the ground and right next to the Dondai. “Welp, that was a bust, but now I know that we can’t fly, and we got remember that my floaty powers are controlled by me being happy or upset. Ugh. Just like all my stupid powers.” Tiger’s Eye said, annoyed at itself. They shocked their head. “Anyway, since we can’t fly, we’ll have to use the Dondai. But…” They looked at the car then at their tail and compared their height to the car. “I’m too big! It was a pain getting a Quartz in there, now I got to find a way to fit myself and my new tail in there without wrecking the car!” They poked at spikes on their tail. It was sharp, so they had to worry about the spikes. “Hmmm. I could shapeshift to be smaller. But I don’t LIKE that! Shapeshifting is just EMBARRASSING! But I HAVE TO! I DON’T WANNA WALK ALL THE WAY TO LITTLE HOMEWORLD OR BEACH CITY! IT WOULD TAKE FOREVER!” They grunted and held their face. They sighed.

“Fine, but once we’re in Beach City, we get out of the car and return to normal size… after finding a good place to park my baby… Man… Steven, you such a wimp.” The fusion said, arguing with itself again. They take in a deep breath and glowed, their body shifting into the size of Steven. Other than their pants being a bit too long, their clothes fit perfectly with Steven’s shirt covering up his gem again. They pull out the car keys and unlock the car. “Alright, now. To get this tail in without hurting the car.” They said. They looked for a good approach, then an idea appeared in their head. They lifted their tail up and lean it against the back of the seat. They get in the car, got buckled, and leaned forward so they wouldn’t lean up against their tail. “Ya know, if you lived closer to Little Homeworld, we could have just used the warp,” Tiger said as they turned on the car. They soon sighed. “Man, this fusion is just… so fun.” They said sarcastically, “Hopefully once we’re in town, we’ll have a better time.” They then drove back into town.

They looked at the picture of Amethyst, Pearl and Garnet Steven had taped onto the top of the hood. They softly chuckled. “So, you care about them so much. Y-yeah. I do. It’s just… hard living with them sometimes. Sometimes… it’s like they still treat me like a kid. I know they don’t want to do it; they just want to have fun with me. It’s just… hard sometimes.” Tiger’s Eye began talking to itself, switching between Steven and Jasper. “Honestly, I don’t know how you can even stand them sometimes. Honestly… I sometimes ask myself that question too. Oh… really?” Tiger looked at the road, making sure they were driving safely. They still had a way to go before they reach Beach City.

“Yeah. Like… I don’t know. It’s just hard having people needing to depend on you for emotional support. And… to tell you the truth, I know they need me to be strong but sometimes, I don’t want to be strong. I just wanna be a kid and have silly adventures. The Crystal Gems don’t know how to handle me or my powers. They’re scared of me losing control. Like, one time, I so afraid of being seen as a kid, I kept aging into different periods of adulthood until I was an old man and almost died from it. The gems brought me back to normal but… it was still a scary time. Then there was the time that I stretched my body to look older, so I won’t look like that small boy you used to see me as to impress everyone. I… I was so tired of being this little kid, especially after I learned that it wasn’t normal for me to keep looking like I used to. But… I couldn’t hold the form and reverted into a baby. Connie helped me recover from that, and once I learned I was growing facial hair, that helped me feel more confident about my body. But it still was a strange time. And then… there was the time I tried to relax and shapeshift into a cat, but I could only change one of my fingers into a cat. At first, it was fine, but then more cats formed on my fingers and I started losing control, and I was becoming an adorable cat monster! And… and Dad had to be the one to help me and the only way to save me was to go through the Car Wash! And then… c-calm down. I’m here. We don’t need to shapeshift. This is only temporary.” Tiger’s Eye said, Steven’s panicking made her tighten her grip on the wheel before loosening it as Jasper’s mind helped calm them down. They take a deep breath. “Y-yeah. Just… just wanted to explain why we couldn’t just shapeshift with wings or something. Hahahaha.” Tiger’s Eye laughed as tears formed in Steven’s eyes, “It’s… it’s okay. I don’t like shapeshifting too. It just feels so unnatural. I can see the practical uses of it for battle, but I will never use it myself, and you shouldn’t feel pressured to need to master it either.” Jasper told Steven. The fusion sighed and nodded. They soon noticed that they had entered Beach City. They quickly find a place to park the car and get out.

Once out, they release their shapeshifted form and sighed in relief. Although keeping a smaller form was much easier than keeping a larger form, they still felt more comfortable being their regular size. They whip the tears out of their eyes. They take a few deep breaths and then stood up. “Okay, we’re here. Now what…” Tiger asked themselves. Suddenly their stomach growled. “What was that?” Tiger asked themselves, before Steven’s personality kicked in, “Oh. I guess all that crying and talking and… stuff must’ve worn us out. I need to eat. Now, if you don’t want to try the food, that’s all right. We can just unfuse and I’ll get something to eat.” However, part of them was intrigued. “Eat. What do you mean by eat? Well, humans don’t have infinite energy, so we chew up items like pizza, fish, and potatoes to eat. It’s actually quite good. Amethyst likes to eat a lot, but gems like you don’t need to do it. We can just unfuse if you want.” Tiger talked to themselves, letting Jasper have an out. Tiger shocked their head. “No. I won’t let a puny little thing like ‘eating’ separate us like that. Besides, I can withstand any weird feeling you put on me. Okay, don’t say I didn’t warn you.” Tiger explained. They soon walked over to the Fry Stand. Peedee was working at the place when he noticed them. “Um hello, miss…” Peedee began to say in a polite manner.

“Tiger’s Eye. Um… yeah. I can accept female pronouns. But letting you know; I also use They and Them pronouns as well.” Tiger’s Eye explained. Peedee nodded and looked at the gem. “Neat… Hey, isn’t that Steven’s jacket? Steven is that you?” Peedee asked. Tiger’s Eye laughed in glee. “Yep. It’s me, Peedee! Well, it’s more than me. I’m a fusion with Jasper right now! We’re doing some bonding time!” Steven’s personality shined through as she said that. Peedee smiled. “Wow… wait, wasn’t Jasper that big mean lady you’ve told us about. Um… Sorry about that.” Peedee said, then quickly apologized when he realized he was also talking to said the lady. Tiger’s eye rolled her eyes. “Yeah. But supposedly it’ll be different. However, right now, I’m not so sure about it. Anyway, I’ll have… the bits.” She said as she tried to act cool. Peedee nodded. “One plate of the bits, then.” He said then moved to the back of the area. Tiger looked at the boy. “So, he’s your friend, right? Uh-huh. Why does he work for a place like this? Well, because he likes it. He has his own truck where he sells his own food, but Peedee still tends to work here every now and again. I just hope…” Tiger’s Eye began to say but was interrupted by a loud squeal of excitement that was all TOO familiar. Tiger groaned and facepalmed herself as she looked at the sound. “A snerson! Peedee, you got to see this! It’s a real-life snerson!” Ronaldo said as he pulled out his phone. “Huh?” Peedee said as he brought out a bag full of potato bits.

Ronaldo was standing a few feet away from Tiger. He most likely came from the boardwalk. Tiger’s Eye turned towards the man. “Ronaldo, I’m not a snerson, it’s me, Steven! I just fused with Jasper and some of her corrupted forms have transferred to me… Steven… man being a fusion can be so confusing. Anyway, I’m not corrupted, it’s just a side-effect of us fusing.” Tiger tried to explain. Ronaldo squinted his eyes in suspension. “Sure, you are, Snerson. But how do I know you’re not just some Snerson pretending to be Steven fused with this Jasper.” Ronaldo asked. Tiger growled in anger. “Ugh, I’m wearing Steven’s jacket and clothes! I have his and Jasper’s gems! What more proof do you need!?” Tiger asked in frustration. Ronaldo looked at her and then went around her. “So, if you are Steven and Jasper, how come you have a snake tail and snake horns?” Ronaldo asked before stopping in front of them. Tiger groaned. “The horns were on Jasper’s corrupted form first, our fusion just made them more different. Also, what snakes have horns? As for the tail, it must be from Steven. I don’t know how or why, but something about him makes him into a snerson when he corrupts… n-not that I am corrupted or anything. This… this is just hypothetical.” Tiger said a bit scared at the end.

“I mean, one of the corrupted gems used to be that Big Crab we used to record for your vlog thing, so it’s not too weird that maybe Steven would be a snake if he corrupted. Hey… maybe that’s why there’s a snake on the dollar bill! The founding fathers must’ve known the Diamond Authority would become snakes if they turned into monsters!” Peedee said with confidence. Ronaldo gasped and pulled out a dollar bill. “Of course! It all makes sense! The Diamonds ARE SNEEPLE ALL ALONG! But how did the US government know this in advance? Was the Great Diamond authority in on this?” Ronaldo wondered.

“What, that’s absurd. I’ve been with the Diamonds for over two years and other than making peace with the US government, there have been no signs of the Government knowing about the Diamond Authority or about Sneeple.” Tiger’s eyes said. She pulled out a dollar and gives it to Peedee. She then grabs her food and begins to eat. “Okay, but then how did the Government know about this? Why would they put this obvious connection on their money? Perhaps, the Diamonds have been hiding stuff from you, Steven… and whoever you’re fused with!?” Ronaldo said, causing Tiger to chock on her bits. They quickly cough and release the pressure they accidentally build up. “That’s absurd, Ronaldo! The diamonds… they… they trust me…” Tiger’s eye began to say but felt the fear build up in their mind. Images of Pink Diamond sobbing in her room, yelling at the Diamonds, and breaking items flashed in their mind. They held their head. “They… they’re not the same as back then. They… they trust me…” Tiger’s Eye said as to try and rebuild their confidence. Flashes of Jasper fighting in the war, images of gems talking behind Jaspers’ back, then images of Jasper begging Yellow Diamond to attack earth flashed in their mind. “I’m… I’m not worthless…” They said, then images of ‘classic’ Steven waiting for the gems to come back from their mission and Steven’s imagined conversation from an Indirect Kiss entered their mind. Tears flowed out their eyes as the pain was becoming too much.

“Steven, Jasper, Tiger’s Eye! It’s okay! We’re here! RIGHT, Ronaldo! Please, they need us.” Peedee said, the last part a whisper to the boy’s brother. Ronaldo blinked and then awkwardly laughed. “Y-yeah! Tiger’s Eye! That’s right! Besides, it could all just be the Government who’s lying! Of course, not Nanefua, she’s one of the few that aren’t like that.” Ronaldo said as to try and cheer them up. The fusion sniffled and looked at him. “R-really?” They asked. Ronaldo nodded. “Yeah, the Government is always trying to hide things! Anyways, enough sadness! Let’s think of something to CHEER. YOU. UP!” Ronaldo said as to try and help Steven. Tiger took in a deep breath. They quickly finished up eating and sighed. “Welp… at least I’m no longer hungry.” They said. Ronaldo sighed in relief.

“So… Tiger’s eye. That’s a cool name. What do want to do? Who is… Tiger’s Eye?” Ronaldo asked. Peedee nodded. “Yeah, I mean, you’re a whole new fusion, Steven. Maybe you can show some sick moves!” Peedee said with excitement. Tiger chuckled. “Really?” They asked. The two brothers nodded in excitement. Tiger’s Eye laughed and rushed onto the Beach. “Alright, let’s see what my weapon is!” She said as she pulled out Steven’s Shield and Jasper’s helmet. She looked at both objects. Peedee and Ronaldo sat down at the edge of the pier. “Hmmm, a shield and a helmet… what do these two things have in common or… what can I make with them?” Tiger wondered. The group thought. “Oh! How about a complete battle armor!” Peedee said. Ronaldo scolded, “No, that’s too basic for something like her! Oh! How about a laser gun! Or a broad sword! Or a cannon! OH! A SWORD GUN!” Ronaldo yelled out. People began walking towards them. Tiger’s eye began shaking seeing them. They close their eyes and then a thought appeared. They grab the helmet and chuck it into the air. They throw the shield and the two hit each other and glowed. They fuse into one weapon as a double-headed Axe with a medium-sized handle. “Wow! An ax! That’s clever!” Ronaldo said, impressed. Tiger’s Eye chuckled and quickly put their weapon away as it disappeared into light particles.  “Yeah… although, it is the most weapon like a weapon I’ve had with a fusion. Well, that’s because you think of simple toys. I think of something more practical.” Tiger’s Eye said, then giggled.

The people on the boardwalk looked at the fusion, waved at them, and then continued their way. Tiger sighed in relief. “Man, this fusion is really hard to keep it together… but I know we can do this! Besides, we haven’t even done anything fun yet. All we had were meltdowns and crying! I do NOT want to keep doing this! I want to have FUN! I want to know what makes living on Earth worth it to Steven!” Tiger yelled. They were getting so fed up with having to deal with their two sides constantly fighting with each other or having a meltdown. “Alright, alright, calm down. There are tons of fun things to do, like, um, the arcade, there’s the pier, video games at Steven’s house, the Big Donut, um… Oh! Hey, there’s supposed to be a wrestling match tonight! It’s supposed to be like a multi-match event. Supposedly it’s like survival of the fittest or something, whoever stays in the ring long enough wins the wrestling cup. Doubles or Singles are allowed tonight. That sounds like fun!” Peedee explained. This peaked Tiger’s Eye interest. “Oh yeah, Steven did say that he used to use wrestling. Although, I think we got tired of it because he was being too nice, so Lars didn’t like his character anymore, and Amethyst didn’t want to play wrestling now that she was MATURE now.” She said in a bitter tone. She shocked his head.

“Anyway, we weren’t interested because he tried to explain his ‘backstory’ for the event. It sounded pretty dumb from what little we heard. But what was that about the survival of the fittest?” The fusion asked. Ronaldo stood up as shadow draped over his eyes. “The world of wrestling is a dangerous and evil land where only the strong can survive. I tried my hand at the ring and was punched so hard, I never went back.” Ronaldo stated, exaggerating his story. Tiger’s Eye chuckled. “Oh yeah, that was pretty funny. And… punching… that’s something I can do. That sounds like the perfect thing for us to do. But… I still like the idea of building a character… ugh… my head.” Tiger said, then held their head. This made the two brothers worried. “Hey, are you okay? Maybe you should unfuse, at least until tonight. You two might need a break from each other.” Peedee said. Ronaldo nodded. “Yeah. Plus, all your bad mojo could collide with each other too much if you don’t give each other some time to think for yourselves.” Ronaldo said.

Tiger’s Eye looked away. “I… We’ll think about it. For now, we’re fine. We’re going to go walk the boardwalk for now.” They said. Ronaldo and Peedee looked at each other and then at the fusion. Peedee stood up. “Welp, be careful. See you at the ring tonight. Oh! I almost forgot; the wresting even will be at 8 pm at the abandoned warehouse.” Peedee said, then went back to the shop. Tiger’s eye waved at him. “I got my eye on you, Tiger’s Eye. Don’t go pull any Snerson tricks up your sleeves. I don’t want you to hurt yourself or Society.” Ronaldo said, then walked away. Tiger’s eye nodded and then her stomach growled again. She blushed in embarrassment. “I guess that wasn’t enough to satisfy our hunger. What time is it?” They wondered as they pulled out Steven’s phone. They activated it and put in the numbers, but it was much harder thanks to their pretty meaty fingers. “Ugh. Why do these tiny earthling communication devices have to be so small?” They wondered in annoyance. They soon looked at the device and saw it was around 1:30. “Wow, time sure flew. It’s already past lunchtime. No wonder we’re hungry. Why don’t we get a salad and something to drink? Maybe we’ll like that more than just eating some bits. …Whatever.” Tiger said to herself. She put the phone back in their coat pocket and walked over to Fish Stew Pizza.

(To be continued.)

[monotonemanday]

Much More Than The Boy Next Door

Another completed commission! This one is lengthy! Jumin Han x Reader

This is for @all-my-cuffs-have-buttons Thank you again for commissioning me! It was such a pleasure!! Enjoy!

You were standing in a daze when the sudden noise of water pressure coming from the shower head, snapped you back to reality. You were replaying the last couple of minutes over and over again in your mind.

The two families had arrived on the tropical island. Yours and his. Your parents who had stayed together all of these years and his father with the current girlfriend. Both fathers had made a new investment. A fancy new resort and all of you had come to see how far along it was in the process. The whole resort had been built and all of the amenities were yours to access, but not all of it's rooms were inhabitable yet.

Previously, he said he wasn't coming. He had prior engagements. But in the last minutes before boarding the plane, he had made an appearance. Because of his decision, everyone was now at the front desk in the hotel lobby with a flustered staff apologetically informing you that they had only prepared a certain number of rooms. Another wouldn't be ready until the next day. The premise that you two would share a room was all but natural. You had been friends since you were children. The fact you were man and woman wasn't a bother. Everything was still perfectly fine riding on the elevator up to your resort suites, until your mother had to bring up your most recent break up. 

She was always airing out your dirty laundry in front of others. You politely asked her to drop the subject, and she did. However, HE picked it back up.

"I'm not surprised it ended less than amicably. She never puts much care into the men she chooses."

At the same moment those words spilled from his mouth, the elevator doors had opened. You shot him an unforgiving look and stepped off the elevator. Making haste down the hallway, the rest of the family walking in the opposite direction. 

"Can I take that look as a sign you are unhappy with what I said?"

"Yes!" You pushed the card key into the reader hard, the light turned green and you pushed it open. But before entering you turned to him and pushed your index finger into his chest. "You are always so rude when it comes to my love life, and frankly it's none of your business!"

"Oh, is it not?" He came a breaths away from you peering into your eyes and you felt yourself swallow hard. Not knowing what was about to happen, you felt your body growing hot. Yet much to your surprise he simply reached behind you, pushed the door open and slipped past you.

A sense of relief washed over you and you didn't understand what had you so nervous. He was your oldest friend and right now, you were mad at him! You gained your composure and tightened your fists. Turning to give him a piece of your mind...

"Hey, you get back-!" and with a thud you had run into his broad back. 

Barely inside of the room he had stopped short.

"Well this could pose a problem." He didn't even seem concerned with the fact that you had just crashed into him. "They had said only one room, but they didn't mention this shortcoming."

You peered around him and noticed what he was going on about. There was only one bed in the room. And it was no King size, that was for sure. Close quarters.

"No. Absolutely not. We, something has to be done about this."

"Obviously." He sighed, setting both your bags down and taking off his suit jacket. Loosening his tie he started to walk towards  the bathroom. "I need a shower. It's late already, but I will call down to the lobby once I am done." 

Before you could offer any argument the bathroom door had already shut behind him. You sat on the edge of the bed trying to clear your head. Why were you so irritated with him? And why were you so nervous when he got so close earlier? 

Laying your back on the bed you remembered the very first time you met, Jumin Han.

The first time you met Jumin, you were too young to remember. Only two, nearly three years old. Your mother tells the story nearly every time there is a gathering. 

Your father had just accepted a top position within C&R International. Your family was invited to dinner with Chairman Han at his place of residence. They set you up on a blanket in the middle of a large sitting room with toys and blocks for you to play with. An older boy, not much older, a toddler really, was sat on a far side of the room piecing together a puzzle. Your hair was sticking straight up the top of your head in a small ponytail, eyes wide and a pacifier in your mouth. 

Struggling to reach a block that you had your eye on, a small hand grabbed it and set it gently in front of you. As the parents coo’d and awed, the person that delivered you the block turned to address them. Jumin, in his sweater, khaki shorts and long socks, turned the adults and claimed, 

“This baby...is quite adorable.” 

And returned to his puzzle. 

After that you would only see him at company parties and get-togethers. All events would play out the same way, you would greet all the other kids, run around, play, as children do, but as soon as Jumin made an entrance or you spotted him, by his side is where you would be. You would sit next to him, and be on your best behavior. Prim and proper you would be. Listening to him make observations aloud. When you were a child you thought Jumin was playing some game, trying to imitate the adults, or play make-believe. But once you were older you realized Jumin, was just being Jumin.

Soon it was more than just company gatherings. Your father had climbed particularly high in the C&R ranks and was now making his own strides. Starting his own company with the help of his now good friend Chairman Han. Eventually your family was very well off, but not near as wealthy or comfortable as the Hans. Now you were constantly at one another's childhood homes. Spending your days causing trouble for wait staff, maids, gardeners. Always dragging Jumin into your schemes when you could. Most of his time, if he wasn't with his best friend, the boy with the mint hair, he would be spending time making sure you were entertained.

You got up from the bed and moved onto laying across the arms of the large armchair in the room.

"Uuuugghh! Then why!" You were still trying to wrap your mind around why you always got so upset when he talked about your love life and why you would get this fits of nerves when he would get a little too close for comfort. A childhood friend, that's all he was. You wish you could just say that out loud and all these feelings and this confusion would pass. But you weren't so lucky. What about after childhood? What was your relationship with Jumin like? A heavy feeling settled in the pit of your stomach.

Jumin always went to prep schools and you stuck with going to public school. Not being in the same place all day didn't falter your friendship however. Nearly everyday you would meet with Jumin and his mint haired friend after school and Jumin was always there to listen to your gripes from the school day, or help you solve any problem you had. 

You remembered the time you wore your hair in braids and some dreadful girls in your class snipped the end of one braid off, just to be nasty. Once you were home you were sobbing in your mothers arms, when Jumin came over like he was scheduled to. He asked your mom if he could take you out to cheer you up and of course she said yes. He had Driver Kim take the two of you to a salon. The fanciest hair salon you had ever been in. He spoke to the hair dresser and gave them a suggestion. You trusted nothing could be worse than the lopsided mop you were dealing with then, so you didn't speak up or object when the stylist got to work without consulting you. The haircut was finished and when you looked in the mirror you had never felt so beautiful. The haircut was the perfect style for you. It shaped your face and brought out all your features. You remember thinking how Jumin must have just stared at a lot of pretty girls and that's why he could pick something so suiting. But now, no. Jumin was just that attentive and could pay that much attention to detail even at such a young age. Prom, when your date decided last minute he would rather attend with someone else, Jumin was there, with Driver Kim and an exquisite stretch limo, and a trip for a new prom dress so you didn't have to wear the one you were so excited about before it was ruined for you. And he never asked for anything in return. From anyone. He did not flash his stature, his wealth. He tried his best just to be a good friend to you, and if he could somehow improve your life with something only he could, in an extravagant style, he would do it. 

All the stuffy grown up parties you would have to attend throughout your school years. Him, the mint haired Jihyun Kim, and you. You were all raised to be polite, mingle, make connections, even though you weren't grown adults yet. It exhausted both you and Jihyun. You would remember dozing off in many penthouses and lounges, drained from the socializing, and somehow you two would always wake up with blankets on your back. Jumin always managed to find some, just for the two of you, and he would cover for you, dealing with the parents and finishing the work of managing the party guests.

Jumin always objected to basically every relationship you had been it starting since high school and when they would come back to bite you in the ass, he never said I told you so, or tried to bring you down. He comforted you. But just like today, the second you were free of a boyfriend, or your mother had to bring up the past, Jumin always had a comment. 

You heard the water shut off and you sat up in the chair. You still didn't have your answers put that pit in your stomach was starting to rise in your chest and you could only assume what that meant. 

Jumin came out of the bathroom in a very Jumin-like manner. Silk pajama bottoms that had a tie at the waist. Nothing on top, toweling off his hair.

"There is a lady present." You rolled your eyes at him. 

"Ah, then you should be polite and introduce me." He dramatically scanned the room, trying to make it very obvious he saw no one but you in the room. "Where exactly is the lady?"

"Just...put a shirt on please." He smirked at you and now all to confused in your head, you couldn't roll your eyes, you couldn't smirk back. You could only feel the heat covering your cheeks.

Jumin walked into the bathroom to hang up his towel, and came back out finishing pulling a plain v-neck over his head.

"It's been over 20 years, you should have told me that seeing my bare skin bothered you so much. I will have to start wearing a rash guard in the pool, the Jacuzzi, the office, the shower, when I sleep in my bed, wh-"

"I get it!" You knew he was teasing you but you weren't feeling so lighthearted. Your eyes followed him around the room and you were much more aware of how much of a...man, Jumin really was. His hair was still a little damp. You took your hair dryer out of your bag and walked it over to him. "Here." You gently pushed it against his chest. "You'll catch a cold. I'll call down to the lobby."

Jumin had turned off the hair dryer and shook his hair out, lightly tossing his head back and forth. He walked to set it next to your things and sat on the edge of the bed. 

"Well what did the lobby say?"

"They said there is nothing that can be done so late, so it's a good thing this chair is very comfortable."

"Thank you for reviewing it for me." Jumin stood up for the bed and stood before you and the chair.

"What? Jumin, no. I'm already here. Take the bed."

"You have a hard time sleeping in positions like that. This is a vacation. You need to be relaxed."

"Jumin, I said it's fine. Get in the bed."

"I can't. It wouldn't be-"

"Why are you always taking care of me!" The words shot out of your mouth like a rocket and you looked at Jumin, stunned. He returned the same expression. You cleared your throat and ran to your bag, gathering your clothes to sleep in and rushing to the bathroom. You turned at the doorway and shouted "Sorry!" then slammed the door.

"What was that!" You were berating yourself in the bathroom mirror. You began changing into your pajamas. Just a simple tank top and cotton shorts. You had sharp pain in your chest. You had part of your answers. You loved Jumin. And you probably did for a long while. But something still gnawed at your heart. If he cared for you in the same way, why did he never tell you? Or stop you from dating losers? Or why isn't he more concerned with seeing you as a woman? Slowly creeping the bathroom door open you poked your head out and saw Jumin picking up your bags. 

He looked back at you and asked,

"Will you be needing anything else out of these for now?"

You silently shook your head no and he proceeded to move them into the closet and out of the way.

You crept out of the bathroom, feeling nervous but walked up behind him. 

"Jumin..." Your voice was barely above a whisper. 

He turned around and was in very close proximity. He simply turned up an eyebrow at you.

"Jumin, why do you say things like that? Things about how I don't put thought into who I am with. That I don't put care into my choices. That's hurtful and I-"

"I shouldn't have said that. Or, I shouldn't phrase it like that. I apologize. I just mean that every guy you have been with hasn't been good enough."

Any hope you had, faltered. He wasn't romantically interested. He was just protective. Staring at him, lingering for only a moment, you accepted his answer and made your way to the bed. Seeing Jumin breakaway from his spot and walk toward the chair you let out a sigh.

"Jumin...take the bed."

Jumin rubbed the back of his neck with his hand. 

"I did say it was a vacation but...it's...one bed."

"Is my outfit to scandalous, choir boy? Why is it such a big deal?"

A light shade of crimson flushed his cheeks and he held a fist up to his mouth, clearing his throat and letting out a slight cough.

"I guess, we...can see if it is large enough that there will be adequate space between us." Jumin turned off the lights to the room which was now only dimly lit by the table side lamp.

The two of you sat on the bed, backs against the headboard and feet outstretched, as far on the edges you could be.

"Is this alright?" You looked at him with a quizzical arch in your brow.

"Ah, yes."

"Thank goodness. Goodnight."

Shutting off the table side lamp, the room was now dark. You turned on your side, tucking your knees up closer to you and shut your eyes, but the second you heard a little movement, you were painfully aware that Jumin was laying next to you.

A few minutes of silence had passed and the two of you were made of stone. Neither of you moved a muscle. Finally you heard a slight sigh.

"Are you cold?" His baritone voice fell pleasantly on your ears and some of your tension released.

"Maybe a bit."

"How about you get under the covers, I will stay above them." He was trying his best to not be imposing in the situation but you couldn't have him freeze through the night.

"I don't mind if you share the blankets, Jumin. It would be a little rude if I just let you turn into an ice sculpture."

The two of you climbed underneath the covers and were now both laying on your backs, staring at the ceiling. 

Nothing but subtle shifting was heard, and as your nerves calmed down you slowly drifted off when that deep voice serenaded your ears once more, but this time a small whisper.

"No one will ever be good enough..."

You're eyes shot open and you turned on your side, facing the raven haired man you were sharing a bed with.

"Jumin?"

"That's what I have meant all these years. It is not your taste, your decisions, or choices. I just don't think any one man will ever be good enough for you." You didn't have a response, but the quiet didn't last long. "I know that is not for me to decide. That's something you determine but...You deserve the world. Much more than they could give. More than I can give..." Jumin cleared his throat and began to sit up. Turning his table side lamp on, you watched as he began to make his way out of the bed "Perhaps I have said too much. Maybe I should go stay with my father and his-"

Before he could completely stand you had gotten to your knees behind him and wrapped your arms around his waist, face pressed against his back. Sitting back down he turned to you and without a second thought you ran your hand through his bangs, brushing hair out of his face and he cupped your cheek in his hand. Staring into the charcoal dark orbs that were burning whole into your very being, they got closer and closer, you shut your eyes and suddenly it was like someone had attached jumper cables to your lips. A pleasant shock traveled through your body. His soft lips parted from yours and you gently gripped the collar of his v-neck.

"I'm sorry it took me all these years to realize, that I cared for you this deeply, Jumin. I've always thought of you as my dearest friend but really, I was just ignorant to the fact they I have been in love with you for a long time. Probably since we were teenagers."

He took your lips once more and the two of you leaned back into the bed. Sitting up against the headboard, arms wrapped around each other. His lips released yours again and he began to stroke your hair gently.

"No I am sorry. Sorry, for being a coward. I have wasted so many years hoping that you would find someone good enough for you because I felt that I never could be. But I can't ignore my feelings anymore. It's always been you, my love." Never having felt so much warmth and love for and from one specific person, the exhaustion overcame you and as you slowly drifted to sleep you felt a gentle kiss being pressed to your forehead and in the gentlest tone you heard a voice say, "I love you."

Groggily, you stirred a bit, waking up, your eyes half open, hearing a phone ringing near by. You looked down and noticed that your torso was trapped. Looking beside you, you say the most handsome man you had ever seen. A man you had known your whole life but just recently realized was the only person in the world for you. Carefully you sat up, slipping out of his embrace trying not to wake him.

You reached over to the nightstand where the hotel phone was ringing. "Hello?" You didn't mean to sound so annoyed.

"Ah yes, we're sorry for the wake up call, Miss. We just wanted to let you know that there should be another room set up with a separate bed by this afternoon."

Reaching over towards Jumin, you pushed back his raven hair once more, viewing his profile and watching a small smile tug at his lips while he slept.

"Miss?"

"Right. Sorry. You know...don't worry about the extra room. We'll manage just fine." 

Slipping back under the covers you curled up as close to Jumin as possible, still trying not to wake him. You gave one last longing glance at his face. His strong jawline, pouting lips, thin sharp nose, long dark eyelashes, prominent cheek bones. All of his statuesque features. Shutting your eyes to get started on sleeping in, you heard a groggy moan, and felt a kiss on the top of your hair.

"Jumin?" You whispered and looked back at his face but he was very good at feigning consciousness. It seemed as though he was still fast asleep, and just before you thought you were joining him in the land of dreams you heard the subtlest heartwarming remark escape his lips.

 "This woman...is quite adorable."

[volcanicflash]

Soft Concrete

I wonder, where this opposition to channeling pathetic feelings came from – I suspect these are the remnants of postmodernity’s obsession with irony. In all honesty, I tend to go back to these words’ etymologies to deconstruct them, to reconnect with them and rock myself to sleep in the cradle of ancient Greek metaphorical thinking which, despite my Finno-Ugric-patterned mind, is deeply Indo-European. This is what living in „a state within a state” feels like: always bordered, but liquefied, resilient but tough. Pathos, the Greek word means „suffering” and „experience” – a rhetorical notion which appeals to the emotions of the audience, a metaphor in storytelling, a passion, an anecdote. In a society whose public secret is anxiety as a dominant reactive affect, one must take into consideration the possible outcomes of not taking anything seriously that tries to establish connection based on mutual „suffering” and – broadly – „experience”. I know there’s an inherent danger to this – see populism.

But there’s pathos in summer nights. A bacchanal numbing of the underlying anxiety, an amplification of intoxicating ecstasy. When I visit my best friend, we agree to go on a night walk in the neighborhood we grew up in: the first socialist modernist neighborhood in Cluj, by perfectly executed architectural plans, was built with bricks in the 1960’s on the Hóstát farmers’ lands. Their houses disappeared, their land deprivatized, their lives destroyed. Blocks were built, some lives were improved, but the hostility towards this previous era still remains among those who still think living in a flat is the curse of the century. The collective trauma of living on a fifty square meter area among other people was definitely passed down to younger generations, ours included. But we had to break this cycle of living in someone else’s mind before 1989. The newest development in this neighborhood along with a sports field with free facilites is yet again: building blocks. Without the helping hand of the Carpathian Genius, Ceaușescu.

H. and I grew up as „playground kids” among these socmodern buildings, ten-story towers and more modest four-story ones, with green mosaic, with some hidden brutalist ornaments and shapes, with boiler-houses and tiny garbage cabins. We were measuring time by the street lights switching up. When the dangerous older bully kids came out to play football, we vanished. We were constantly putting our life to risk, like sliding down on concrete chutes. There were also rules: the older you were, the farther you could go to the next playground. We were measuring space in the blocks’ sense: the four-staircase order. By the time we entered 7th grade, we were rightful citizens of the area, climbing on garages, rolling in dirt, doing gymnastics on carpet duster poles.

We go out for the night walk, with two joints, moon’s shining and the tiny owls are screeching among the shadows of branches. The indulging summer night, where you’re surrounded by endless melancholy and longing for your past, but in the same time: it’s still your present, it’s the cessation of time, it’s time’s embodiment in eternal concrete and brick cuboids and cubes. It’s the lingering of the flowering linden’s smell, the soft jasmine odor-filled breeze with occasional honeysuckle. It’s the symbiotic anthropocene, a forgotten modernity that takes place in front of our eyes: the symbiosis between carefully planted trees and wild, tall grass, the plastic and metal swings, see-saws and benches among freshly mowed hay. We sit on a bench, breathing in the smell of the night with that of the weed, and we pretend that there is no underlying anxiety and fear within two young women sitting alone in the darkness of the park. We talk about this. „But our moms told us not to roam in on the streets at night, because it’s dangerous, anyone can kidnap and rape you”. By the time we share these words, two, seemingly young boys appear in the distance, approaching the trees on the other side of the playground. Then two others come. They sit down on the grass, lit up their cigarettes, show things to each other on their phones. I become tense as I watch them, I feel the deeply engrained fear emerging in my body as I remember that a girl’s mission in this world is to be afraid of men, of men who are probably ten years younger than her, but eight for sure. And they outnumber us, I say to her.

H.’s on fire, the week took a toll on her, hormonal changes makes her aggressive. She speaks louder than me, which is unusual for our duo. The weed doesn’t calm her down. She’s prepared to fight everyone who even thinks of approaching us. I watch the stars above me, The Plough is very shiny tonight, I see its cartwheels and handle between two walnut trees on the impeccable royal blue horizon. Not as shiny, as the moon behind me, above the ancient metal garages and a newly changed street lamp.

These lamps are not the same. The original ones were crooked, with concrete poles that have been fragmented by harsh weather of the dictatorship’s decades. The lampshades were cylindrical, slightly asymmetrical, with a flat cap. They looked like serious men with top hats, each of them had a personality – by the light they cast on people’s paths. I occasionally tell H. how I miss these lamps. Especially the blue one, that I witnessed its death on a grey, frosty January day. It had deeper blue light, because some of that street’s residents changed the lampshade to a cobalt plastic one. The neon toned light flickered in the lampshade, like a suffering moth, then within minutes, as the other lights were switching on in a row half past seven, it died.

The young boys are dressed in white shirts, one of them has a blazer on. They return to the opposite direction. H. tells me they must’ve been coming from the school nearby, as it’s banquet season. We sigh and laugh at our silliness. There was an emerging desire to free ourselves from the cell-deep internalization of patriarchy. Going out leaving our bras at home, with our weirdly shaped and uneven breasts quivering in the night, when no one sees them in their purest form. Like a half compliment. Be free, but in darkness. In dim lights, cast on perky breasts, like on sharp-edged brutalist blocks. Corporeality – corpus and reality, rough presence for ourselves, radically accepting a life that sprouted from these environments. We joke about being badass hood girls roaming in the night in slippers and flowy-comfortable attire, taking a vacation in our Balkanic mindset.

In my non-Indo-European language patterns, these arguably construed Balkanic experiences are the ones that built the state within a state system. The constant oscillation between two worlds and different languages, I remain the pathos of the soft and curved and the sharp, the brutal. I’m the linden smell next to the garbage bin, the lively hedgehog that hides in communal gardens, the concrete petunia pot, that one piece of green mosaic in a child’s hand, the garlicky soup odor that comes from a grandmother’s ground-floor apartment.

[ollie-ask-and-roleplay]

Everything you need to know:

Looks defined: Silver hair. Blue eyes. About 5'6" tall, weighs around 130 pounds. Natural hair length is just past the ears, they have hair extensions that can make hair shoulder blade length. Has strap on breasts.

Their name:

Oliver Emanuele (Usually goes by Ollie)

Age: 22

A little about them:

Ollie is bigender (identifies as both a boy and girl), they are biologically male. They have a stutter due to severe, constant anxiety. Definitely the mom friend in a group. 100% human unless somehow changed in the future. Most of the time they are kind and shy, although this is the first muse that has seen the NSFW side of roleplay. They are confident and dominant when in "the mood" ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°). Haha (I like to think that they are secretly very kinky; but that's yet to be explored)

Has a history of self-harm, suicidal thoughts/tendencies, depression, and crippling anxiety. They are currently working on controlling themself better and improve mental health.

Likes: Making food for other people, helping others, quiet places, windchimes, baking, hoodies, zen gardens, low intensity yoga, etc.

Dislikes: Small spaces, themself (🙁), nuns, large groups of people, spicy foods, etc.

(Likes and Dislikes are to be updated)

Anyways! Ollie often carries fresh cookies with them, don't question it.

Usual Attire: When feeling more male they usually wear a large hoodie with whatever pants they have around. When female it's always different. (Just assume there is a skirt or dress)

Pronouns: Ollie uses They/Them to avoid confusion.

Background Knowledge: (warning: story about parents first) Ollie was born into a very "normal" family. A mother and a father that were happily married and went to a Christian church every Sunday. It was the happiest day in their lives when their first and only child was born with the birth name, ''Oliver". The mother's name was Elaine, she had lovely deep brown hair and bright, piercing blue eyes. The father was Samuel, with blonde hair like sand and blue eyes like the day's clear sky. They were highschool sweethearts. Unfortunately, it was Samuel's brother who had silver hair, received from their father above them. Of course, it could have been a gene that simply skipped Samuel, but he was certain.

Elaine was over-joyed and had hope that they could continue their lives as a happy family. After all, what her husband didn't know couldn't hurt him, right? Oliver was a happy healthy baby, that they both adored almost to the point of worship. Samuel kept quiet for the first month, acting as if the thought hadn't occurred to him. One night, after they had gotten Oliver to sleep, he confronted her.

"Elaine..." He said, the look on his face so morose it could bring someone to tears. "That isn't my son, is it?"

And like that, Elaine's fragile hopes cracked to reveal the ugly truth. She had to face what she'd done. She touched Samuel's face as both their tears started to fall, his of bitter pain and her of regret. She gazed into his eyes knowing this would be the last time they would look at her without hatred.

"... No, not biologically. Ol-Oliver was conceived b-by... your brother and myself." She could no longer look at him and her voice was no more, for sobs had started shaking her body to the core. Her hand fell from his face as she moved to cradle her own body.

Samuel had known. He let his tears fall and left his wife to cry alone. He went into the nursery where baby Oliver was sleeping peacefully, unaware of anything that had happened.

Samuel kissed Oliver's forehead and whispered, "I'm sorry, my son. They wronged us both. I'll be sure they pay for it..." Samuel stood there for a few more moments, tears dropping into Oliver's crib.

The events that followed that night were not what anyone had planned for.

Samuel left his home with his wedding ring on the counter. He drove to his brother's home and didn't bother knocking. He broke a window with a brick laying outside and climbed in, knowing exactly where to go. Samuel stood beside his brother's bed with a brick in hand. He stood there, his rage boiling just beneath the surface of his stoic face. The rage of a man whose family had been stolen from him. Then, as the unsuspecting man was started to wake, Samuel hit his brother once over the head with the brick. Twice. Three times. Samuel did not kill his brother that night, but he did cause brain bleeding which which lead to death several days later.

Samuel got back into his car and started driving back to his home to gather his belongings. He planned to get a small apartment in town and fight for custody of Oliver. However a semi-truck had other plans. Samuel died in a "crash", his small car practically obliterated.

The only reason Elaine had to live was Oliver now. Unfortunately Elaine had always been selfish and her child wasn't enough for her. After attending her Husband and her child's father's duel funeral, she grabbed Oliver in his little mourning tux and left them on the porch of a nearby orphanage. Little Ollie had only the clothes on their back, a letter detailing who they were, a roughed up stuffed bunny, and a chain-necklace around his neck with Samuel and Elaine's wedding rings. Elaine knocked on the door and ran as fast as she could. She committed suicide later that day.

(Okay, parent story end)

Ollie grew up in that orphanage. It was a religious orphanage run by nuns. Ollie wasn't bullied at first, but was often ignored. They were small and quiet and did everything they were told, so the nuns decided they didn't need any extra attention besides "Have you eaten?" and "It's bedtime now".

They played with their bunny until the arm ripped off, at age 5, which triggered his first fit since he was an infant. The nuns quickly sewed their bunny together again, not used to the quiet one being so upset.

At age 8, a boy named Johnny on the playground at school decided to start picking on Ollie because they were an easy target. Ollie started coming back from school with scrapes on their knees from running away and falling. Plus bruises from Johnny and his group when they caught up.

At age 10, Ollie got caught playing with one of the older girls' makeup and dresses for the first time. The nuns were called quickly. Oliver got punished with 10 spanks for getting into another's property and 10 more for "inappropriate behavior". Ollie didn't understand why wanting to be pretty was wrong.

At age 12, puberty had started and something was really bothering Oliver. Some days they didn't feel right in their own skin and other days they were perfectly fine. Oliver was in middle school now, which meant everyone around them were becoming couples for a week or less at a time, and being very curious with themselves. One day, Oliver was listening in on some 8th graders and words of "sexuality" and "gender identity" were getting thrown around. They got curious. "Am I different?"

At age 13, they started seriously researching gender identities on the public library's computer. They were in awe that there were words to describe how they were feeling. They decided they identified with two genders, male and female. Ollie decided to start going by "Ollie" instead of "Oliver".

At age 14, Ollie got up the courage to ask a nun for a dress, and "maybe a lip gloss". The nun was outraged and gave him 10 spanks in front of all the orphan children at dinner time. The nun "made an example" of them and let all the kids know that the orphanage would never spend money on something a child does not need. Especially when the child wanted something that would "make them a disgusting fag". Ollie started getting picked on not just from the kids at the school, but from the kids in the orphanage too. So many slurs and hateful words were thrown towards Ollie that they started to internalize it.

At age 16, they were severely depressed and constantly on edge. The bullying didn't stop and had started getting more physical; ending up in the ER a couple times for stitches or broken bones. They had tried to kill them self multiple times at this point and always wore a baggy hoodie. The life was quickly draining from their eyes. A younger nun, who had only been with the orphanage for a few months decided it was enough. One evening the nun directly asked them, "Do you want to live?"

They replied, "Not here."

The young nun gave Ollie 2,000 dollars of her savings and told them to get as far as possible. They gratefully took the offer and was gone by dinner time the next day.

At age 18, Ollie had made a great life for themself. They lived with two other people to help pay rent of an apartment. They got a girlfriend. They work at a nice Subway job and graduated high school as the Salutatorian of their class. They were fairly accepted as a bigender person both at home, and in school.

At age 20, they broke up with their longest relationship of 3 years. Ollie sunk back into a deep depression and what little progress they made was thrown out the window. Ollie barely managed to keep their job, calling in "sick" too many times. Ollie worried their roommates by spending most of their time in their room alone.

At age 22, things have settled down. Ollie is over the breakup but the depression still lingered. They are trying to heal. They now go to college to get a culinary degree and hope to get their own bakery or restaurant one day.

Thanks for reading Ollie's Story!

[mypetshopworld]

How to train your dog to walk heel. The secret of Dog training.

Who let the Dogs out ...

Have you ever had a dog or knew of someone who has a dog and when they go for a walk with the dog the dog is walking them not the dog owner is walking the dog. It is not difficult to train your dog to walk heel.  I only learned it recently with my friend Jennifer. I never put much thought into dog training as my husband is training all of our dogs.

I have a friend and she has two dogs both are a kind of a mix a white/black dog called Vanshi, and the black one called Choc every time they go for a walk it is crazy it is like heavy weight lifting on the move, as both dogs pull so strong and it is a struggle to keep them under control. These Dogs are so distracted in sniffing, looking and peeing everywhere marking the trees and the streets that they do not pay attention to their Owner. Jennifer my friend was really was upset about it, as one dog pulled her mother last time she walked with Jennifer's dogs so much that she fell and broke her hip.

Walking with your Dog should be fun

Many Dog Owners when walking with their dog walk in despair and in the process strangling themselves. This is one of the most common problems dog owners face when out for a walk, and there is a good reason for this. If the dog believes he is the leader, the decision maker, he thinks it is his position to be at the front of the pack, and this is why you will see dog owners getting pulled everywhere by their dogs struggling to keep their dog or dogs under control.

Will all these Gadgets like choke chains and shock collars help?

What many people do in these situations is end up resorting to gadgets and tools like choke chains and shock collars to try to keep that dog to heel. But the problem here is you don’t actually stop the dog from wanting to be in front, you actually force him into a situation where he can’t get in front of you. What those gadgets do is actually just adjusting the problem but not solving the problem, this can only be done through proper training. There are plenty of books and Information available and I can highly recommend the Training "Secrets to Dog Training. Stop your Dogs behaviour problem." Click here

Train your dog how to walk heel.

Jennifer, my Friend, went to a dog trainer to help her to walk with her dogs so that they stop pulling and try to strangle themselves. Jennifer actually got a strained shoulder because of her dogs, not alone the accident with her mom really made her worry. I went with her through the training, and I will tell you how we got Choc and Vanshi to stop pulling on the leash and how both dogs learned how to walk heel.

What Every Dog owner needs to know.

What every dog owner needs to know that out on a walk there are loads of different smells and site distractions which keeps the dog’s attention from being on us. It is tough to train a dog out there if we want to train a dog to heel than the best place to do it is where the dog feels safe, where the dog feels happy, and the dog feels relaxed and to do that you have to go back a few steps.

The psychology of an animal.

Every animal on the planet has psychology including the dog, and the tapping into that psychology of an understanding of why the dog reacts the way they do is the key to training your dog. If you ask an intelligent question like what is in for your dog when he follows your training? Of course, your dog likes to be rewarded, and the practice should be relaxed and fun. Make it as comfortable as possible for the dog to learn.

Did you know that there are only three things we need to train a dog walk heel?

We need a leash, lots of patience and food rewards now with food rewards dogs are a little bit picky, and they don’t like certain treats and biscuits, so I always cover my basis by that and bring out my secret weapon. Grilled sausages the secret weapon of every dog trainer. No dog will resist that treat.

The Process. Teaching A dog to walk heel.

Stage one. Repeat and Repeat the basic. Is picking up the leash then calling the dog to you, what will happen a lot of times here is the dog will not actually come to you which is quite ridiculous than taking the dog out for a walk. If the dog is not listening to you in the house or home it is not going to listen to you outside. With stage 1 we pick up the leash, and we call the dog over if the dog becomes a little bit overexcited, we put the leash back down again. The reason for this is if we can’t keep the dog in a calm state, we don’t want to move on to stage 2. A lot of owners don’t realize this, as they put the leash on and go straight outside and because of that they haven’t identified the problems earlier on, so we are going to try this with Choc now. The trainer is calling Choc over to him and try to put the leash onto Choc. He comes and sits down, soon as the leash is on, Choc is fighting the leash. That means Choc is trying to take away the power of the walk from the trainer. What Choc is telling the trainer is, I am taking you for a walk. Choc is trying to make decisions for the trainer, so if that happens, you must take the leash off and start this process again until Choc understand it and gets it perfectly right and doesn’t bite the leash. Only then we can move forward. Now that we have got the dog on the leash we can move to stage 2.

Stage 2: Stop, Start, Change Direction

What we do is a little thing called, stop, start, change direction in the house. What the trainer is doing is to encourage the dog to be by my side up and down these rooms we are in. Every time that choc pulls the trainer forward, he stops stands still, and then he changes the direction again, every time Choc gets it right the trainer encourages Choc with food reward and praise. What the trainer is doing is keeping Choc to walk up and down the rooms. Then he stops, starts and changes the directions.

Every Time Choc gets it right, he will be rewarded with food. Important keep the leash loose do not hold on too tight, that puts tension on your dog. After a couple of trips up and down and around the house, Choc started to get it and went around the house with the trainer without mistake or pulling on the leash. Choc is ready for stage 3 going out in the garden ( If you do not have a garden use an area what your dog is familiar with) If you can walk with your dog without him pulling constantly the leash it is a pleasure moment you share with your dog. Dog training is not difficult and everyone can learn it.  I can highly recommend the Training "Secrets to Dog Training. Stop your Dogs behaviour problem." Click here

Step 3: The Garden with different smells and distractions

Out in the garden, Choc still feels comfortable and safe, so it is a great place to train Choc the dog. When a dog is stressed you can’t get any information into their brain so keep doing the training when they feel comfortable and keep the building of those foundations. The Trainer started to go around in the garden, and every time Choc got it wrong, he showed him what he wanted calmly and patiently. It was actually very relaxing, and I have to say I did not believe that Choc would do it so fast. Again every time Choc does it right, he will get the food reward and the praise what is very important in making progress. The great thing about this is there is no tugging any jerking on the lead necessary. Choc is following the trainer because he wants to follow him. When Choc continues to get it, then we can move forward to stage four. It is like when a child learns how to ride a bike, you should work with your dog the same way one step at the time guiding them from the beginning to the end until they get it right.

Stage 4: walking out the door with your dog.

This stage walking out the door is when Choc really tests the trainer and if Choc pulls the Trainer 100 times than the trainer goes back 100 times until Choc understands he is not going anywhere by pulling the trainer. Choc also has to understand that he has to wait in a sit position when the trainer is open the front door to go outside. Choc and Vanshi both got it after I lost count at 37 times, but now we are out the door.

Stage 5 Leaving the house.

Choc and Vanshi tested the trainer more than 37 times. So finally, the walk is starting. I have to say I am excited as to see how much improved is there in a short period. Jennifer, my friend she is nervous and lost her cool. She got a time out form the trainer as the dogs will take over her energy. As the trainer progresses many times Choc is questioning the trainer, and he answers Choc the same way by coming back, and Choc loses ground. I am surprised Vanshi is following so quickly with me, and it is a pleasure to train her. We got back from the walk, and Choc was trying a few more times to let the trainer know he is the boss, but when we came back, Choc for the first time would not run into the front door he actually sits and was waiting until the trainer went in first. Wow, what an improvement. Dog Training is easy the only thing you need is time, passion and treats. I can highly recommend "Secrets to Dog Training. Stop your Dogs behaviour problem." Click here

Stage 6: Find a quiet outdoor place for more training.

Choose a quiet outdoor spot with a few distractions such as not many people cars, or dogs for teaching and guiding your dog one step at a time is essential. Always remain calm convincing and consistent. I can see that the Trainer is going back soon as Choc tries to pull the leash or try to walk with the trainer. I have to say I have learned a lot at the same time. I also have fun and enjoy the training. We are not yet finished we continue. I have followed the same rules with Vanshi, but it is so much easier with Vanshi, she follows in no time it is a pleasure training her. She follows so easily compare to Choc he is a handful and has a strong will.

Stage 7: A Residential Street to train your dog walk heel.

As you progress and the dog is learning to find a quiet place like a residential area which has a few more distractions. Step by step increase the distractions. The work is ongoing keep going and keep it up. If you come across other dogs, keep a reasonable distance so that you can focus on the task in hand. I have read a few dog training books and I found them interesting but the best one is the secret of dog training.  Only when the dog is ready, then you can progress to a place with more distractions keep guiding your dog to stay positive and create every attempt by your dog to lead you. As you can experience the more distractions or potential threats, the more the dog will react in this case keep correcting your dog. If your dog appears anxious, then go back to a place where you both feel comfortable and progress again from there keep going until your dog feels safe and accepts you as the leader.

Train your dog when you have time do not rush.

Remember to teach your dog when you can dedicate quality time to the task it will not be easy when you are in a hurry and trying to take your dog for a walk. The more rushed you are, the less time you are likely to have to offer attention to detail.

If you haven’t got time wait for a time when you do have time. You have to remember as you start to make progress of each individual step, and the dog becomes less distracted at all the smells, sights and distractions out on the walk, and they are walking heel it is so pleasant to see the improvement. Always come back and repeat the steps, so the dogs know you are in control. Dog Training  This powerful information has helped thousands to successfully halt their dog’s behavioural problems—and how it can help you, too! Top Secret Dog Training Tips. "Who Else Wants To Know Top Training Secrets That Dog Experts Use Daily To Ensure That Their Dogs Are Always Well Behaved And Listen?" These Secrets Can Be Used Anywhere By Anyone To Get Their Dogs To Listen, Understand And Obey... Without Spending Countless Hours In Training! Get this training now.

Final stage: The Park. Test your dog and see how good he can walk heel. A big day.

Finally, you have gone through all the stages, and the dogs follow the leader by their own free will. There is no need for Choke Chains and Shock Collars if you have the passion give your dog the proper training, and if you do not have the time then get professional help. It is so much more comfortable having dogs who accept you as the Pack Leader instead of your dogs taking over you. You will find that your dog starts following you wherever you want to go when there are other distractions around the dog will look at you as the leader. If you concentrate on this process and take your time, you will realize it does work, you. Don’t shout, get aggressive or use choke chains or shock collars. This is the fantastic thing about this training and if you put it into place and take your time and you will see your dogs will follow you wherever you want to go. Soon you are walking down the street with a dog or dogs who are happy to walk heel. Vanshi was a faster learner, and she got it very quickly. Jennifer is so happy to have two dogs who do not take her for a walk. Now she is walking her dogs. The shoulder strain also has gone. One thing always to remember is that when you give a dog a treat for training do not give him that treat in-between. The treat for training should be a special treat. I learned great dog training techniques. I never thought that dog training classes can be so much fun for me. I know when my husband walks first time without dogs he uses an instant dog training leash. 

Is there a Secret To Dog Training? I'll say one thing. This isn’t a complicated book. Why should it be? Dog training isn’t complicated. This is a book that gives you a system that professional trainers use to ensure that your chaotic four-legged friend is soon the most perfectly behaved good boy you’ve ever known. All you need to know is the secrets. Like most of the best secrets, these are obvious once you realize what they are.  

    Walking with dogs or a dog does not mean it has to be like heavy weight lifting. It is a pleasant experience and walking with your dog will be fun. I hope you enjoyed this blog on how to train your dog to walk heel. Please let us know how you train your dog and what kind of treats you use. All Yours Melanie Read the full article

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How to train your dog to walk heel. The secret of Dog training.

Who let the Dogs out ...

Have you ever had a dog or knew of someone who has a dog and when they go for a walk with the dog the dog is walking them not the dog owner is walking the dog. It is not difficult to train your dog to walk heel.  I only learned it recently with my friend Jennifer. I never put much thought into dog training as my husband is training all of our dogs.

I have a friend and she has two dogs both are a kind of a mix a white/black dog called Vanshi, and the black one called Choc every time they go for a walk it is crazy it is like heavy weight lifting on the move, as both dogs pull so strong and it is a struggle to keep them under control. These Dogs are so distracted in sniffing, looking and peeing everywhere marking the trees and the streets that they do not pay attention to their Owner. Jennifer my friend was really was upset about it, as one dog pulled her mother last time she walked with Jennifer's dogs so much that she fell and broke her hip.

Walking with your Dog should be fun

Many Dog Owners when walking with their dog walk in despair and in the process strangling themselves. This is one of the most common problems dog owners face when out for a walk, and there is a good reason for this. If the dog believes he is the leader, the decision maker, he thinks it is his position to be at the front of the pack, and this is why you will see dog owners getting pulled everywhere by their dogs struggling to keep their dog or dogs under control.

Will all these Gadgets like choke chains and shock collars help?

What many people do in these situations is end up resorting to gadgets and tools like choke chains and shock collars to try to keep that dog to heel. But the problem here is you don’t actually stop the dog from wanting to be in front, you actually force him into a situation where he can’t get in front of you. What those gadgets do is actually just adjusting the problem but not solving the problem, this can only be done through proper training. There are plenty of books and Information available and I can highly recommend the Training "Secrets to Dog Training. Stop your Dogs behaviour problem." Click here

Train your dog how to walk heel.

Jennifer, my Friend, went to a dog trainer to help her to walk with her dogs so that they stop pulling and try to strangle themselves. Jennifer actually got a strained shoulder because of her dogs, not alone the accident with her mom really made her worry. I went with her through the training, and I will tell you how we got Choc and Vanshi to stop pulling on the leash and how both dogs learned how to walk heel.

What Every Dog owner needs to know.

What every dog owner needs to know that out on a walk there are loads of different smells and site distractions which keeps the dog’s attention from being on us. It is tough to train a dog out there if we want to train a dog to heel than the best place to do it is where the dog feels safe, where the dog feels happy, and the dog feels relaxed and to do that you have to go back a few steps.

The psychology of an animal.

Every animal on the planet has psychology including the dog, and the tapping into that psychology of an understanding of why the dog reacts the way they do is the key to training your dog. If you ask an intelligent question like what is in for your dog when he follows your training? Of course, your dog likes to be rewarded, and the practice should be relaxed and fun. Make it as comfortable as possible for the dog to learn.

Did you know that there are only three things we need to train a dog walk heel?

We need a leash, lots of patience and food rewards now with food rewards dogs are a little bit picky, and they don’t like certain treats and biscuits, so I always cover my basis by that and bring out my secret weapon. Grilled sausages the secret weapon of every dog trainer. No dog will resist that treat.

The Process. Teaching A dog to walk heel.

Stage one. Repeat and Repeat the basic. Is picking up the leash then calling the dog to you, what will happen a lot of times here is the dog will not actually come to you which is quite ridiculous than taking the dog out for a walk. If the dog is not listening to you in the house or home it is not going to listen to you outside. With stage 1 we pick up the leash, and we call the dog over if the dog becomes a little bit overexcited, we put the leash back down again. The reason for this is if we can’t keep the dog in a calm state, we don’t want to move on to stage 2. A lot of owners don’t realize this, as they put the leash on and go straight outside and because of that they haven’t identified the problems earlier on, so we are going to try this with Choc now. The trainer is calling Choc over to him and try to put the leash onto Choc. He comes and sits down, soon as the leash is on, Choc is fighting the leash. That means Choc is trying to take away the power of the walk from the trainer. What Choc is telling the trainer is, I am taking you for a walk. Choc is trying to make decisions for the trainer, so if that happens, you must take the leash off and start this process again until Choc understand it and gets it perfectly right and doesn’t bite the leash. Only then we can move forward. Now that we have got the dog on the leash we can move to stage 2.

Stage 2: Stop, Start, Change Direction

What we do is a little thing called, stop, start, change direction in the house. What the trainer is doing is to encourage the dog to be by my side up and down these rooms we are in. Every time that choc pulls the trainer forward, he stops stands still, and then he changes the direction again, every time Choc gets it right the trainer encourages Choc with food reward and praise. What the trainer is doing is keeping Choc to walk up and down the rooms. Then he stops, starts and changes the directions.

Every Time Choc gets it right, he will be rewarded with food. Important keep the leash loose do not hold on too tight, that puts tension on your dog. After a couple of trips up and down and around the house, Choc started to get it and went around the house with the trainer without mistake or pulling on the leash. Choc is ready for stage 3 going out in the garden ( If you do not have a garden use an area what your dog is familiar with) If you can walk with your dog without him pulling constantly the leash it is a pleasure moment you share with your dog. Dog training is not difficult and everyone can learn it.  I can highly recommend the Training "Secrets to Dog Training. Stop your Dogs behaviour problem." Click here

Step 3: The Garden with different smells and distractions

Out in the garden, Choc still feels comfortable and safe, so it is a great place to train Choc the dog. When a dog is stressed you can’t get any information into their brain so keep doing the training when they feel comfortable and keep the building of those foundations. The Trainer started to go around in the garden, and every time Choc got it wrong, he showed him what he wanted calmly and patiently. It was actually very relaxing, and I have to say I did not believe that Choc would do it so fast. Again every time Choc does it right, he will get the food reward and the praise what is very important in making progress. The great thing about this is there is no tugging any jerking on the lead necessary. Choc is following the trainer because he wants to follow him. When Choc continues to get it, then we can move forward to stage four. It is like when a child learns how to ride a bike, you should work with your dog the same way one step at the time guiding them from the beginning to the end until they get it right.

Stage 4: walking out the door with your dog.

This stage walking out the door is when Choc really tests the trainer and if Choc pulls the Trainer 100 times than the trainer goes back 100 times until Choc understands he is not going anywhere by pulling the trainer. Choc also has to understand that he has to wait in a sit position when the trainer is open the front door to go outside. Choc and Vanshi both got it after I lost count at 37 times, but now we are out the door.

Stage 5 Leaving the house.

Choc and Vanshi tested the trainer more than 37 times. So finally, the walk is starting. I have to say I am excited as to see how much improved is there in a short period. Jennifer, my friend she is nervous and lost her cool. She got a time out form the trainer as the dogs will take over her energy. As the trainer progresses many times Choc is questioning the trainer, and he answers Choc the same way by coming back, and Choc loses ground. I am surprised Vanshi is following so quickly with me, and it is a pleasure to train her. We got back from the walk, and Choc was trying a few more times to let the trainer know he is the boss, but when we came back, Choc for the first time would not run into the front door he actually sits and was waiting until the trainer went in first. Wow, what an improvement. Dog Training is easy the only thing you need is time, passion and treats. I can highly recommend "Secrets to Dog Training. Stop your Dogs behaviour problem." Click here

Stage 6: Find a quiet outdoor place for more training.

Choose a quiet outdoor spot with a few distractions such as not many people cars, or dogs for teaching and guiding your dog one step at a time is essential. Always remain calm convincing and consistent. I can see that the Trainer is going back soon as Choc tries to pull the leash or try to walk with the trainer. I have to say I have learned a lot at the same time. I also have fun and enjoy the training. We are not yet finished we continue. I have followed the same rules with Vanshi, but it is so much easier with Vanshi, she follows in no time it is a pleasure training her. She follows so easily compare to Choc he is a handful and has a strong will.

Stage 7: A Residential Street to train your dog walk heel.

As you progress and the dog is learning to find a quiet place like a residential area which has a few more distractions. Step by step increase the distractions. The work is ongoing keep going and keep it up. If you come across other dogs, keep a reasonable distance so that you can focus on the task in hand. I have read a few dog training books and I found them interesting but the best one is the secret of dog training.  Only when the dog is ready, then you can progress to a place with more distractions keep guiding your dog to stay positive and create every attempt by your dog to lead you. As you can experience the more distractions or potential threats, the more the dog will react in this case keep correcting your dog. If your dog appears anxious, then go back to a place where you both feel comfortable and progress again from there keep going until your dog feels safe and accepts you as the leader.

Train your dog when you have time do not rush.

Remember to teach your dog when you can dedicate quality time to the task it will not be easy when you are in a hurry and trying to take your dog for a walk. The more rushed you are, the less time you are likely to have to offer attention to detail.

If you haven’t got time wait for a time when you do have time. You have to remember as you start to make progress of each individual step, and the dog becomes less distracted at all the smells, sights and distractions out on the walk, and they are walking heel it is so pleasant to see the improvement. Always come back and repeat the steps, so the dogs know you are in control. Dog Training  This powerful information has helped thousands to successfully halt their dog’s behavioural problems—and how it can help you, too! Top Secret Dog Training Tips. "Who Else Wants To Know Top Training Secrets That Dog Experts Use Daily To Ensure That Their Dogs Are Always Well Behaved And Listen?" These Secrets Can Be Used Anywhere By Anyone To Get Their Dogs To Listen, Understand And Obey... Without Spending Countless Hours In Training! Get this training now.

Final stage: The Park. Test your dog and see how good he can walk heel. A big day.

Finally, you have gone through all the stages, and the dogs follow the leader by their own free will. There is no need for Choke Chains and Shock Collars if you have the passion give your dog the proper training, and if you do not have the time then get professional help. It is so much more comfortable having dogs who accept you as the Pack Leader instead of your dogs taking over you. You will find that your dog starts following you wherever you want to go when there are other distractions around the dog will look at you as the leader. If you concentrate on this process and take your time, you will realize it does work, you. Don’t shout, get aggressive or use choke chains or shock collars. This is the fantastic thing about this training and if you put it into place and take your time and you will see your dogs will follow you wherever you want to go. Soon you are walking down the street with a dog or dogs who are happy to walk heel. Vanshi was a faster learner, and she got it very quickly. Jennifer is so happy to have two dogs who do not take her for a walk. Now she is walking her dogs. The shoulder strain also has gone. One thing always to remember is that when you give a dog a treat for training do not give him that treat in-between. The treat for training should be a special treat. I learned great dog training techniques. I never thought that dog training classes can be so much fun for me. I know when my husband walks first time without dogs he uses an instant dog training leash. 

Is there a Secret To Dog Training? I'll say one thing. This isn’t a complicated book. Why should it be? Dog training isn’t complicated. This is a book that gives you a system that professional trainers use to ensure that your chaotic four-legged friend is soon the most perfectly behaved good boy you’ve ever known. All you need to know is the secrets. Like most of the best secrets, these are obvious once you realize what they are.  

    Walking with dogs or a dog does not mean it has to be like heavy weight lifting. It is a pleasant experience and walking with your dog will be fun. I hope you enjoyed this blog on how to train your dog to walk heel. Please let us know how you train your dog and what kind of treats you use. All Yours Melanie Read the full article