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thelovelyruin · 1 year ago

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𝖜𝖍𝖎𝖙𝖊 𝖗𝖔𝖘𝖊𝖘.

𝖙𝖍𝖊 𝖑𝖔𝖛𝖊𝖗𝖘 : choso x fem reader

𝖙𝖍𝖊 𝖘𝖚𝖓 : choso has had a crush on you for oh so long.

𝖙𝖍𝖊 𝖒𝖔𝖔𝖓 : smut, porn with plot, vaginal sex, oral sex, praise, love, teasing, fingering, edging, (emotional choso lmao).

𝖙𝖍𝖊 𝖈𝖍𝖆𝖗𝖎𝖔𝖙 : 5.5K

𝖙𝖍𝖊 𝖘𝖙𝖆𝖗 : inspired by lyrics from white roses by charli xcx.

𝖙𝖍𝖊 𝖊𝖒𝖕𝖗𝖊𝖘𝖘 : hello lovelies, thank you so much for reading! i hope you enjoy it, if so, follow me for more. au revoir!

18+ MDNI ADULT CONTENT

Maybe my only light, don't you recognize you're the only one I want?

Choso knew for a while now that he was in love with liked you. How could he not? Not when you’re always sparkling in every room you walk in, and all he wanted was for you to be his firecracker. It didn’t go unnoticed that guys on campus practically throw themselves at you, acting like dogs whenever you wore a particularly short skirt or a tight top, he knew cause he was looking too. Unfortunately for him, you pretty much had him in the friend zone. To be fair, it’s not like he’s made a move yet, so how were you supposed to know? Well, that didn’t stop you from referring to him as a mutual friend while talking to other people. Now, the one person who did know he liked you was his brother, Yuuji.

“Dude, you better tell her before she gets a boyfriend, then you’re really gonna be hurt.”

“Shut the fuck up, Yuuji.”

“C’mon, you know I’m right.”

And he was. When Choso caught wind that you had a thing for Megumi, (which was debunked because he made Yuuji ask you and you told him no), he pretty much wanted to throw up. Not that Megumi was a bad guy or anything, he was your best friend after all, and Choso was just related to Yuuji, who was Megumi’s best friend. His proximity to you was short, while Megumi and you talked all the time. He started thinking about what it would be like to be that close to you, inhaling your scent, seeing your smile when he spoke to you, the way your chest moves up and down when you breath. Then, he realized that kinda made him sound like a fuckin’ weirdo, so he stopped.

Now, he was in hell a bus with a bunch of other people in your friend group, headed to the mountains for a ski trip. It’s not like he didn’t like your friends or anything like that, it’s more so jealousy that the only thing he’s ever been able to say to you is a measly, hey, when Yuuji introduced you to him. That and Megumi and Todo were arguing, about what, exactly? Women. Megumi expressed that he wasn’t picky, which was the catalyst for Todo telling him he has to take what he can get cause he’s so stand-offish. So, now they were going back and forth about Megumi’s ability to pull. And, it was giving Choso a damn headache.

“Hey there, Choso!”

Cold like ice, petrified, lovin' what you're doin' to me.

Choso nearly shit himself the second he turned to his left and you were sitting in the seat with him.

“Um, hey.”

He hated himself for how awkward he sounded. He was too worried about the fact that you never really talked to him, but that was his own fault really. All the times he’s gotten the opportunity to talk to you, walking around campus, parties, and he’s never taken the chance. So much so, Yuuji came to him and asked if he had something against you, which sparked the conversation where he told Yuuji he actually had feelings for you. Then came Yuuji’s antics.

“I know you’re chillin’ over here by yourself, but I wanted to come say hi!”

You looked around the bus, seeing the chaos running amuck.

“I’m sorry about them, Yuuji told me when there’s too much going on, it kinda bothers you, but I can totally get them to shut up, if you want.”

He was gonna fuckin’ kill him. Now, his mind was boggling. What else had Yuuji told you? Lord knows he couldn’t keep his damn mouth closed, for all he knew, Yuuji had went ahead and told you he likes you.

“He said that huh? What else?”

“He also told me that you’re a little shy, but you warm up once you get more comfortable! If there’s anything I can do to help you out, just let me know, kay?”

He was scorching at this point. Why the fuck would he tell you that? As much as Choso wanted to give Yuuji a piece of his mind, his brain wasn’t really working. Because now, he was able to get a good look at you. Pink tinted lip gloss that accentuated your already pretty lips, and that perfume you were wearing, you smelled like a piece of strawberry cake. And he wanted a damn slice.

“Do yo mind if I stay back here with you? I’d rather not go up there and hear them bicker.”

“Uh, um…sure.”

You were infectious. He could feel himself practically light up when you asked him that, you wanted to sit with him? He must be dreaming and he knew he was when he saw you begin to take off your jacket.

“Know it’s cold outside, but this jacket is just way too hot for this bus. Hold it for me?”

Choso obliged immediately, the jacket served as a cover for the tent growing in his pants. Of course today of all days, you wear a v-neck shirt, your tits practically spilling out the fabric and talking to him. If he was hearing things correctly, they were begging him to free them from their captivity. He quickly snapped out of it when you began resting your head on his shoulder.

“Gonna take a nap, kay?”

This was gonna be a long fuckin’ ride.

White roses in the snow, never let me go.

When you guys got to the lodge, Choso exhaled deeply, removing his headphones and preparing for a long day. He had wanted to take a nap on the bus, but all he could think about was your pretty little head on his shoulder, and how it might be the last time. So, he relished in the moment, sighing when you stirred awake. You turned and gave him a little smile, followed by a yawn as you reached for your jacket. Everyone began to walk out of the bus, you were shortly behind, but you forgot you left your purse in the front row of the bus. As Choso walked up behind you, you were about to panic.

“I can’t find my purse anywhere! Did I leave it somewhere else?”

You began to check under the seat, giving Choso a front row view of your ass, stretched out by your insulated leggings. You were driving him crazy. The drive up was already enough for him, but now your ass perked in the air? He was practically edging himself. He knew he probably shouldn’t be looking, but he was mesmerized as you shifted around looking for your-

“Looking for this?”

You jumped up, looking at Megumi holding up your bag. With the assumption that you’d probably forget it, he went ahead and grabbed it to meet you outside the bus.

“Ooo, thanks Megs! You know you could’ve told me you had it!”

“Yeah, yeah. Sorry bout that.”

With that, you grabbed your bag from him and smiled, proceeding off the bus. Choso was stuck, still in awe, but as Megumi was walking off the bus, he shot him a menacing look. Had he caught Choso staring at your ass? Probably. Shit, was he gonna tell you? Choso panicked a bit but took a deep breath and took his exit off the bus. If Megumi was gonna tell you, he deserved it, he had no business looking at you like that. But fuck, was it hard.

Lyin' in your bed and movin' slow, takin' off our clothes, givin' you it all.

Everyone piled into the cabin, which was pretty damn nice for a vacation rental. Everyone had a room fortunately, and there was a hot tub out on the back patio. While the girls went to find their rooms, the guys stayed behind to help with bags. As Choso went to pick up his and a black suitcase that was closest to him, Yuuji intercepted him. With a wink, Yuuji handed him a bubblegum pink suitcase.

“A gift, for you.”

Choso rolled his eyes at him and took the bag, still upset with him for the things he told you. Walking through the halls, he looked for your room, wondering if you were still walking around. When he couldn’t find you, he sat your suitcase down in the room at the end of the hallway, seemingly empty.

“Why thank you, kind sir!”

He turned to see you in the doorway, giving him one of those bright smiles. You looked around confused for a bit, like you were looking for something. Then, Megumi walked into the room with his bags, and of course, your makeup bag. Why hadn’t he thought of that? Megumi shot Choso a confused look that said what the fuck are you doing here?.

“Sorry Megs, this room is off the market!”

“Oh no, whatever will I do? I’ll go find another room, but here, you forgot your makeup case.”

“Awe, we can share the room you know!”

Choso cleared his throat, causing the two of you to look at him. Him and Megumi were both obviously taken aback by your offer, causing you to chuckle at them.

“Awe, I was just kidding, duh! Megs, if you sleep with me, people may get ideas. Promiscuous ideas.”

You gave him a smirk and laughed at his flustered reaction. Choso had to contain himself. You had blatantly friend-zoned Megumi, right in front of him. Then, there was the look of defeat on his face that made Choso nearly jump for joy. Not that he was praying on his downfall or anything, but seeing Megumi lose this little game made him pretty damn excited.

“That goes for you too, Choso! Things like that are how rumors start.”

Now, Choso felt like shit. And it didn’t help that Megumi was now smirking at him with a look that said welcome to the friend-zone, bitch. It’s not like Choso got the idea that he would be sleeping with you, but it didn’t feel very good that you dismissed the possibility altogether. Even more reason to carry on, there was no chance he was admitting his feelings to you now. After that, you kicked them both out, preparing for a day at the lodge.

All I need is you and me alone. Love is like a rose and baby, let it grow.

Once you guys were done at the slopes, it was evening time. Everyone had decided to cook for dinner. Much like a potluck, all of you made something with ingredients you brought from home. Nobara’s pasta salad was pretty good, and Inumaki’s onigiri wasn’t half-bad, but the best thing was your brownies. A little known fact about Choso is that he loves sweets. That’s why when he tried your brownies, he nearly scarfed the whole thing down. You got the perfect texture, rich and fluffy with a decadent chocolate. You noticed him eating one and walked over, a blush on your face.

“So, how do you like them?”

“They’re delicious.”

“Really? You think so?”

“Yeah, good job.”

You were beaming now, so proud of your baking. Choso felt really good, satisfied in the fact that he made you feel that way. Maybe he wasn’t always a fuck up.

“Hey, we’re about to do spin the bottle! You two playing?”

Maki had walked up to ask you, a slight look of annoyance on her face, it was obvious she wasn’t interested in playing, probably dragged into it by Nobara. But, that all changed when she saw the optimistic look on your face, her dread turning into a smile.

“Uh, duh! Sounds fun, you’re coming right, Choso?”

It’s not like he had much of a choice, because before you even finished your sentence, you were dragging him over to the living room. He didn’t really wanna play, but damn, he was happy you were touching him.

“So, we spin it and whoever you land on, you have to kiss. Sounds good? Okay great.”

Mai hadn’t given anyone a chance to answer the question, cause to be frank, she didn’t really care. All of you sat in a circle now, couch and chairs moved back to accommodate everyone’s seating arrangements. Choso sat next to Yuuta on the opposite side of the circle, while Yuuji sat between you and Megumi. At least Megumi wasn’t sitting next to you. Mai crawls over and spins the bottle first, landing on Todo.

“Hell no.”

“The fuck is that supposed to mean?”

“It means hell no! I’m not kissing you.”

As her and Todo sent killer looks at each other, Yuuta went ahead and spun the bottle, landing on Maki, who was blushing like crazy. Everyone knew Yuuta had a thing for Maki, but it was a surprise when Maki kissed him back. After cheers and howls from the others, they sat back in their positions. You went up and spun next, Choso staring at the damn bottle like he had the powers to stop it. It landed on Megumi. Choso nearly lost his shit, I mean, was the damn universe against him? Yuuji raised his hand, a look of concern on his face.

“Uh, Mai, I don’t think she wants to kiss her best friend, that would be kinda awkward.”

“Well, spin again.”

Yuuji, you fuckin’ saint. You give Megumi a playful pout, while he looked like someone’s sad puppy. Crawling up to spin again, Choso held his breath, mentally preparing for who it would land on next.

“Oh!”

He couldn’t fuckin’ believe it. The bottle had landed on him. You give him a sultry smile, crawling over to him and kissing him firmly on the lips. He nearly died in that moment, high on the adrenaline pumping through his body from the feeling of your lips on his. You pull away and smirk at him, crawling back to your position on the floor, earning some whistles and claps from the others.

“You know all you had to do was kiss him on the cheek, right?

“Yeah, but I wanted to make things exciting!”

Oh, Choso was excited alright. All the way down to his-

No one knows the secrets that you know. Come on, pull me close, lay me in the snow.

After playing a few more rounds, Yuuta and Maki got a bit tired, calling it a night. Yeah, right. At that point, someone got the idea it would be fun to go out to the hot tub, which you happily agreed to. Choso couldn’t be more uncomfortable. Sitting in the hot tub with Megumi and the others was the last thing he wanted to do, retreating to his room. That is, until there was a knock at his door.

“Choso, you’re coming out right? Where’s your trunks?”

Choso was about to die, and you were killing him slowly. When he looked at you, he didn’t expect you to be wearing such a revealing bikini, one of those with the triangle tops and thong bottoms. He nearly short circuited when he saw how pretty your tits sat in the cups, rubbing together a bit more due to your lean on the door. It didn’t help that you were fucking pouting again, giving him that look that said you weren’t gonna take no for an answer. And you looked really damn good in pink.

“Uh…yeah, sure.”

“Yay! Hurry up and get changed, I’ll wait out here for you!”

With that, you sat down on his bed, tits bouncing from the gravity shift. He could’ve sworn he was high, but damn it, he had to keep it together. He swiftly grabbed his trunks from his suitcase and went to the bathroom, closing the door shut behind him. For a moment there, he considered relieving himself before having to sit with you half-naked beside him, but there wasn’t enough time for that and it would also be really fucking wrong.

After putting on his trunks, he opened the bathroom door, you still waiting for him patiently. When you saw him, your eyes went wide. Choso was not the type to walk around shirtless, but he knew he couldn’t get into the water with a shirt on. It’s not like he was bad looking, just less built than someone like Todo, so in turn, he was convinced he was mildly unattractive.

“Ooo, Choso, nice abs!”

Who was insecure? Not him, never. Your validation was all he needed to be in better spirits, loosening up a bit as you guided him through the house. Nobara, Yuuji, and Megumi were already in the hot tub. Much to Megumi’s surprise, you were holding Choso’s hand as you walked out onto the patio, and Choso could swear he could see the smoke shooting out of Megumi’s ears. As you got into the hot tub, Choso took a seat next to you, clearly fighting the temptation to stare at your body again. Yuuji started talking about some thing that happened back at school, but he couldn’t pay attention at all, why? Because, thankfully, you were still holding his hand.

I know you can feel it.

You'll be mine every night, I'm tryin' to effortise you're the only one I want.

Everyone had long since gone to sleep, the clock showing 1 AM now. Choso had been tossing and turning all night, just couldn’t stop thinking about the day. It was the most he’d ever interacted with you, and it was making him nuts. The way you touched him, spoke to him. Respectfully, he was in love with you. Tensed, he decided to go out and relax on one of the chairs on the patio.

Hold me tight, Marlboro Light, lovin' what you're doin' to me.

He brought a cigarette to his mouth and lit it, inhaling the smoke like a breath of fresh air. Laying back, he put his arm behind his back, allowing himself to decompress.

“That’s a bad habit, ya know?”

You had come out on to the patio, dressed in an oversized t-shirt and shorts that were practically underwear. He brought his hand to his face wiping down, preparing to fight his boner for the umpteenth time today. You walked past him, taking a seat on the chair next to him and taking the cigarette. To his surprise, you smoked it, inhaling softly and blowing out.

“Thought it was a ‘bad habit’?”

“A habit I never denied having.”

You put your lips around it again, Choso in a trance. He didn’t even care that your sticky lipgloss was staining the filter, all he could think about was how good they would look around his-

“So, you don’t talk much. Why’s that?

“Not really much to talk about.”

“Nonsense, there’s always something to talk about.”

The cigarette is finished now, Choso sitting it in the ashtray. You stood from your chair, walking to the door and waiting for him. He stood up too, noticing how cold it had gotten, following behind you into the living room, fireplace crackling with a light fire.

We're gonna melt down, gonna disappear into the sun.

“Oh yeah, like what?”

“Like, about how we can finally warm up in here.”

You sat on the rug in front of the fireplace, patting the floor beside you, signaling Choso to sit with you. Like a fish to water, he came down and sat, looking between you and the fire.

“So, what are you studying?

“Um…Pre-Med. I wanna be a phlebotomist.”

“Like blood and stuff? How cryptic!”

You playfully jab him, talking for what seemed like forever on all sorts of topics, music, movies, memories. Every thing you said made him fall more in love with you. Your enthusiasm in the way you spoke about your interests, god, he wished you talked about him like that. Eventually he became more and more comfortable, relaxing a bit.

“So, wanna talk to you ‘bout somethin’.”

“What’s up?”

“A little birdie told me you were crushin’ on me, is that right?”

Yuuji was a dead man. Choso locked his jaw and stared down at the floor. This was it, this was the end. He knew damn well you were out of his league, he couldn’t even compare to the guys who approached you. Guys like him don’t pull girls like you, shit, at this point, he had something in common with Megumi. Unrequited love for you.

“Um…I…uh… yes.”

“Is that so?”

You looked him in his eyes now, getting a bit closer to him. He swears he’s gonna combust, your face is so close to his, god, if he had any balls he’d make a move on you right now. He nodded and sighed, ready for the influx of humiliation.

“Yeah, I like you. A lot, actually.”

“So, what are you gonna do about it?”

The fuck did you just say? He was hearing things, has to be. There was no way you were implying he make a move on you, but when you brought your hand over his and gave him that sultry look in your eyes, he knew exactly what you meant.

Gonna burn down together, like fire, we can't get enough.

“Fuck it.”

Choso slammed his lips on to yours, so high on life that he nearly comes undone at the feeling of your hand crawling behind his neck. You start to lean back onto the rug, Choso climbing on top of you, claiming your mouth as his as he begins biting your lower lip. And when that makes you moan softly, he swears he was gonna fucking lose it. He moves down to your neck now, kissing and sucking the skin there while your fingers run through his hair. Can’t help but leave hickies all over it, now that he’s got you, he wants everyone to know you’re his.

We're tied like white roses, you know we're never comin' undone.

As he comes down your neck, his lips find their way onto your chest, licking the skin of your breasts as his hand comes under your shirt to massage your tits. Isn’t it his lucky day? You’re not wearing a bra. Choso’s imagination runs wild for a second there, thinking there was a possibility you were braless because you intended to fuck him, but it was an incomplete thought as he brought your shirt over your head. Back on you immediately, he took a nipple into his mouth, tongue circling on the bud, obsessed with the light moans and whimpers he was pulling out of you. Sucking all over your chest, he was running on lust and adrenaline. Kissing his way down your stomach, making you arch your back a bit, he found his way down to your shorts, taking them down slowly as he kissed the skin around your pelvis. He hit the jackpot. You weren’t wearing any panties either, and to make it better, you spread your legs for him, your lower lips inviting him to indulge.

'Cause I wanna stay forever, I know that you're the only one, only one.

“Wait, what if someone sees us?”

Choso is a bit frustrated now, interrupting him sucking the skin of your thighs. He nearly told you he didn’t fucking care, but when he looked up at you, there was that damn pout again. Swiftly, he scooped you up as you scrambled to grab your clothes before anyone found them. Hoisting you over his shoulder, you giggle a bit as he carries you down the hall and into your room, ensuring no one could hear you from all the way down there. After closing the door and locking it, he sat you on the bed, laying you out and opening your thighs so he could continue is mission. That had you chuckling, which was interrupted by you moaning his name as he took your clit into his mouth. He was a man starved, exploring pandora’s box for the first time. The sweet, sweet treasure he’d been waiting so long for, you exceeded his expectations. He was dedicated, sucking the bud in and out of his mouth and massaging his tongue against it in a circular motion. God, did it feel good, your fingers were pulling at his hair, you could swear it was gonna rip out. But he didn’t care. You could’ve killed him right now, but your pussy was already killing him. Especially when you got wetter and wetter, which Choso decided he wanted to explore before the main event. With two fingers, he brought them into your pussy, feeling your walls stretch around them. He was self indulgent, pumping them in and out of you, curling his finger up to hit that spot that was obviously very effective. He’s heard you say his name over twenty times now, each time you say it his dick is aching more and more. You were being so good, arching your back as he took all you could give, making you feel things you’d never felt before. You’ve had your fair share of lays, but Choso was surely the best so far. You feel yourself getting closer and closer to the edge, whimpering as you rub your pussy on his lips. He was going crazy, his tongue working on its own at this point, fucking in and out of you as his thumb rubs your clit. And he wasn’t ashamed to moan as he ate you, he wanted you to know just how much he enjoyed it, how grateful he was. With one particularly hard suck, you came undone all over his lips. God, you were an angel, back arching off the bed as you pulled his hair, bringing him up to kiss you and kiss you he did. He was hungry now, continuing to finger you as you cracked from overstimulation.

“God, Choso, please.”

White roses in the snow, never let me go.

He wasn’t stupid, he knew exactly what you meant. That’s why he immediately went to work, stripping himself of his pijama pants and top, leaving just his boxers, which he was currently freeing his dick from. Now, Choso wasn’t the thickest guy around, but what he didn’t have in girth, he made up for in length. That’s why you looked in anticipation as he pumped his hands on it, taking some of your cum to saturate it before slipping inside of you. He’s died, thats it. He’s in fucking heaven. His brain can’t even comprehend the way you feel, almost upset with himself he hadn’t made a move on you sooner, knowing he could’ve been putting his dick inside you a long time ago. But none of that mattered now, not when he finally found himself all the way in.

Lyin' in your bed and movin' slow, takin' off our clothes, giving you it all.

Your moans, they were becoming too much. Choso wasn’t selfish, not at all, but the way you were sucking him in, he was tortured, waiting for you to adjust to his size. He was gonna do whatever he could to make this good for you. He didn’t even care about cumming himself, as long as you cum again, he’d be complete.

“You ready, baby?”

“Yes…please…fuck me.”

And with that, he let go. All resolve he had to not rush into things? Gone. Asking you to be his girl first? Gone. He was fucking you, here and now, and you were loving it. You bring your hands up to rub his back, pulling him in closer so you could kiss him, moaning into his mouth as he fucked you. God, you were addicting. He was doing anything he could to hear you say his name, singing him a lullaby that would be etched into his brain forever. All of a sudden, you bring your legs up to wrap around his back, locking him in place to fuck you deeper. That was Choso’s breaking point. He fucked you like he was insane, he swore you two would fall into the mattress. And you? You were so fucked out you were speaking what sounded like it was supposed to be his name. He brought his lips down to kiss you again, feeling the vibrations from your throat of you whimpering in pleasure.

“You like that baby?”

“Yes, Choso, so much.”

“You’re killing me.”

Choso had no thoughts, so focused on the way your pussy sucked him in and out, feeling like it was made for him. You were wrapping around him like a warm blanket, and he was addicted. He saw it when your lips parted to moan out louder, and as much as he loved the way you reacted to him drilling you, he had to bring his mouth up to your ear.

“You gotta be a little quieter, princess. Can’t have everyone hear how good you feel.”

He had gotten a bit cocky now, knowing he was about to make you cum again. It was so obvious, the staggering of your moans, your nails in his skin, your tits pressing against his chest from arching your back. Your whimpers sounded more like begging now and it was sending him over. He felt himself about to cum, but he had a mission to complete first. He brought his thumb up to rub your clit, making you squirm uncontrollably.

“Choso, I’m…I…”

“You gonna cum for me, baby?”

You couldn’t even answer, too busy focusing on every motion of his thumb, like watching every stroke of a paintbrush on a painting. Unfortunately for you, he needed that validation.

“Let me hear you, baby. Am I making this pussy feel good?”

“Yes, Choso, fuck!”

With that, he rubbed your clit even faster, bud sensitive from the second orgasm approaching.

“Wanna feel you cum for me, kay?”

Fuck, you were a good listener. In seconds, you came all over his dick, body jerking as you felt the ripples of your orgasm consume you. You swear you’ve never came that hard before, and Choso was reveling in it. The way your pussy was spasming around his dick, he couldn’t hold it much longer.

“Where do you want it?”

“Inside!”

All I need is you and me alone. Love is like a rose and baby, let it grow.

That was it. With another thrust, he spilled himself into you, heart and soul. God, was he in love with you, even more so that he unlocked a new part of you. His orgasm felt like an eternity like his body was giving him triumph after waiting so long to have you. And when it all came crashing down, he dropped beside you and laid on the bed. It was instinct, wrapping his arm around you to lay on his chest, panting from the fatigue settling in after fucking you the way he did.

Neither of you said anything for a few minutes, Choso instead running his hand over your side, eyelids getting heavy. You shuffle a bit, turning you body to rest on your arms, looking up into his eyes. He was preparing for the worst and hoping for the best. What if you only wanted to fuck him? To be fair, you never told him you liked him back, and when he realized that, he felt himself go back to his typical nervous state.

“So… did you like it?”

“Yeah, a lot.”

“Good, um, glad I could make you feel good.”

You give him a confused look, like you were expecting him to say something else. He shook a bit, intimidated at the way you stared at him. The result? Word vomit.

“Look, I don’t know if you, uh, like me…you know like-”

“I do. Have for a while now.”

His heart skipped a beat, stomach doing backflips. He couldn’t believe it, he must be dreaming.

“You, uh, what, I-”

“Surprised you didn’t know. Everyone else does, even Megs. Sadly for him, I’m crushin’ on you. I mean, why else would I agree to kiss you? Or hold hands with you? Or not say anything when you shamelessly stare at my tits?”

You had a damn point. He felt stupid now, again, wishing he would’ve said something sooner.

“Can…um, do you…shit, will you be my girlfriend?”

“Thought you’d never ask.”

No one knows the secrets that you know. So come on, pull me close, lay me in the snow.

The next morning, Choso wakes up before you. You were like an angel, sleeping and breathing softly under the sheets, still laying on his chest. Begrudgingly, he pulled off of you, needing to piss and have a smoke. When he finished in the bathroom, you were still sleeping, and the last thing he wanted to do was interrupt. So, he quietly put his clothes back on, walked out the room, closing your door softly. He walked down to his room and jumped at the sight of Yuuji at his door.

“Choso, you motherfucker, didn’t think you had it in you!”

I know you can feel it.

♱ the song used in this story is white roses by charli xcx. 🖤

♱ masterlist.

♱ all fics playlist.

𝖆𝖚 𝖗𝖊𝖛𝖔𝖎𝖗, 𝖙𝖍𝖊𝖑𝖔𝖛𝖊𝖑𝖞𝖗𝖚𝖎𝖓.

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captainpondlilly · 1 year ago

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Okay! The Gilear plush has arrived. This is my best attempt at all of his lines. Two have been unintelligible to me, and several are pretty long and fast which made it hard to follow.

My search history is.. hospitals near me, foot stuck in object, head stuck in object

You're low, he's low, It's Gilear's day baby!*

A guy on the street kicked me in the nuts as hard he could

I don't like "lunchlad"

Help me to understand what I have done to deserve this

My horoscope says "today is a good day to die motherfucker"

I ate a quick cup of yogurt on the way over here to bolster my spirits after I changed, I'm ever so sorry

What do you mean "When" life gives you lemons

I went to apply for the guidance counselor position but I was usurped by a drug dealing werewolf named Jawbone

In my haste to put the armor on I buckled the leg plate and think I clipped the tip of my penis against one of the leg plates and Everytime I move it feels like it might fall off so I ASSURE you demon I have no pride to speak of!

In highschool I was voted "Most Likely To Get Pushed Out Of A Tree"

My car was repossessed by the ride share app that I was working for

It's actually a good thing that no one came to my birthday party because the bounce house flooded and was swept out to sea

I just discovered that *all* of my emails have been going to everyone's spam

Unfortunately I have been banned from that hot air balloon service not because of anything that happened to me in particular but the guys who run it just sort of know my whole deal

Mmm this yogurt tastes like *potatoes*

I asked the woman at Home Depot why my plants kept dying and she said it seemed like they were reaching away from the sun

I've found out recently that one of my shoes is so filled with mildew because a pipe in my bedroom is leaking and I've developed a fungal infection in my foot which I didn't know was possible for elves to get

I don't think that I've ever "Peaked" in that we started neutral and have been going downhill ever since

I am currently trapped in a storm drain. The bottom half of me is above the ground, the other is below

Another Own Goal for Gilear Faeth, yes

Everyone knows you eat 7 spiders in your sleep every year, but I have a bunch coming into me the backway

My sandcastle I'm afraid was destroyed, as I was about to finish it, the tide came in and with it a man holding a bazooka who shot me and killed me

I know you're not going to believe this but Ive just been kicked by a snake

I found out the hard way that people can legally reject status as an emergency contact

The title of my autobiography is going to be Gilear Faeth: Please Stop

On my way here I was carrying a large bowl of Italian wedding soup which shattered on the ground in front of me and several of the small pasta balls rolled through the cracks and alerted vermin to my presence. I've since learned after a trip to the hospital I am deathly allergic to the sting of millipedes which is a way of me saying I need someone to come down to the hospital and pay for this. There is a doctor holding a gun to my head and now that I think about it this clinic is in the back of a storage unit and I think have gone to the wrong place

he said and I quote "he'd stomp my goon ass" if I ever got on his bus again

Gorthalax it was very nice to meet you, you've made a cuckold of me

We're the throw up boys!*

I've been informed that the brownies I consumed were laced with cannabis and rat poison

I am completely unprepared for the perils ahead and am deeply frightened, I'll go get the coffee

A gorilla monster punched me so hard in the back of the head I died

Today I have been hit by 3 scooters

Everytime you squeeze my hand it breaks several small bones

My imaginary friend as a child ghosted me because he said I was too depressing

Do you want me to go back? I warn you, it will break me

Can I interest you in an herbal soda? You must understand I am an intern at a ponzi scheme*

When I go to sleep at night I dream of a world where I might be able to walk through a field without stepping on a rake or gopher hole

If anyone needs me... I will be surprised.

If it wasn't for bad luck, Id have no luck is both true and what was written upon the billboard I crashed through

I wonder if any of these will feature in Junior year 👀

*Thanks to @cappa-cappa for telling me the lines I wasn't able to make out!!

#d20 #dimension 20 #naddpod #bahumia #brian murphy #emily axford #brennan lee mulligan #gilear faeth #siobhan thompson #lou wilson #ally beardsley #dropout #spire #fantasy high #fantasy high freshman year #fantasy high sophomore year #fantasy high junior year

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pluckyredhead · 10 months ago

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The Lost Titans in Canon: Rose and Eddie

Hello, friends! Are you ready to get your heart broken?

Rose and Eddie both joined the Titans during the 2006 One Year Later gap (when every DC book jumped one year ahead after Infinite Crisis) and first appeared on the team in #34 of the 2003 Teen Titans series. They're already buddies, at least enough to...hang out in the kitchen together, not facing each other and throwing oranges on the floor? This art is baffling:

What mind-bogglingly prudish teenager instituted that swear jar, let alone decided that "damn" was enough to qualify?

We later learn that Rose vouched for Eddie to get him on the team, apparently two seconds after having met him. Rose herself was on the team because Dick asked Tim to give her a chance.

Eddie is already protective of Rose, like when Cassie, uh...punches Rose hard enough to give her a nosebleed for the crime of being annoying.

Guys, you should...you should probably quit this team. I know it's just your first issue, but yikes.

Their second issue features a drunk Rose climbing into Tim's bed and trying to seduce him, and then Cassie showing up and everyone attacking everyone else, and then Marvin hitting on Cassie (I'm glad you're dead, Marvin), and it's pretty much just trash all around.

But it also features this moment:

Eddie has never recovered and NEITHER HAVE I.

Rose then confesses that she's afraid that the Titans will kick her off the team, since Tim doesn't really want her or Eddie around, just his real friends. (I could write a thesis on how Rose is afraid of being kicked out so she deliberately tries to provoke them into kicking her out, but this isn't the time.)

She hides it better, but Rose has never recovered from this, either.

Then Eddie gets hurt and Rose pulls they "Stay with me!" trope:

It has only been two issues! They're obsessed with each other!

But Rose warns him off:

Eddie continues to be ride or die for Rose, defending her when she's accused (falsely) of being a traitor to the team, and protecting her when his own dystopian future self shows up and tries to kill her. Also, Jaime joins the team and Eddie is wildly jealous of how much Rose seems to like him:

Rose 100% knows Eddie's right there and is doing this to make him jealous, btw. This is extremely explicit in the issue. She doesn't actually care about Jaime one way or the other (and Jaime tells her very clearly that he has a girlfriend).

Meet Rose Wilson! She has absolutely no idea how to cope with liking a sweet boy who is nice to her, so she spends an entire issue trying to make him jealous and making fun of him in a way that's genuinely mean! Oh, honey, no.

Between Rose blowing hot and cold, Tim and Cassie being just incredibly nasty to Eddie all the time for no reason, and the trauma of, you know, having sold his soul to the devil and being functionally orphaned and all, Eddie makes a very bad decision. He invites a bunch of civilian teens to Titans Tower, where they promptly run amuck. The Titans are furious, and Eddie is left feeling completely friendless and about an inch from being kicked off the team completely.

That's when he's approached by the Terror Titans, a team of teenage edgelords led by the Clock King, who DC was trying to make into a cool scary villain by having him *checks notes* fuck teenage girls and constantly murder people on-page as gorily as possible. This whole storyline is trying so, so hard to be cool and edgy but it's just incredibly tiresome.

Anyway Eddie recognizes that actually all these people suck, and refuses to join them and betray the Titans. So they kidnap him and Clock King proceeds to torture him.

Meanwhile, the Terror Titans attack Titans Tower. The only people there are Wendy and Marvin, who are non-combatants, and Rose. Rose defeats every member of the Terror Titans, gets Wendy and Marvin to safety, and then, beat to hell, walks back into Titans Tower to fight the Terror Titans again. Why?

THEY'VE GOT EDDIE.

Rose drags herself back into the Tower, hurt and bleeding, to beat Eddie's location out of the Terror Titans. It's such a good gender reversal of this trope, where the damsel in distress is an eldritch horror and the grizzled warrior coming to his rescue is a teenage girl. The execution of every single bit of this story is absolutely awful and unreadably stupid, but the idea in there is so good! Theoretically!

The Terror Titans manage to escape Rose's wrath, but Rose follows them to where Eddie is being kept: an underground cage fighting ring for captured teenage metas. The Teen Titans also realize what's happening and show up to rescue Eddie as well.

Rose saves Cassie's life and defeats Clock King, but Cassie is still like "Rose is crazy and dangerous and shouldn't be on the team" and Tim's like "Hm maybe you're right"...and Rose overhears.

Meanwhile, Eddie learns that Rose went apeshit when he was kidnapped, and is thrilled because maybe this means he has a chance! He shows up with flowers...

...and Rose is already gone. She's quit the team.

Rose is gone for about ten issues (she temporarily joins the Terror Titans, which is as unbearably stupid as you might imagine), and during that time, Eddie loses his powers and becomes just a regular guy. And then Rose makes her glorious return:

AND EDDIE LITERALLY SWOONS.

But Rose is not okay. She's becoming addicted to huffing adrenaline to enhance her precognitive abilities [insert eyeroll here]. Eddie, of course, is the one who notices:

I love that first panel in the last row. They've moved past the point where Rose can pretend she doesn't care about Eddie and Eddie can't tell the difference. The intimacy of that line (and that touch) - he knows her, and he's telling her so. UGH MY HEART.

Rose gets into another fight with Cassie, and it convinces her that she doesn't belong on the Titans. And, she argues, neither does Eddie, who has no powers and no training.

AND THEN THIS PAGE HAPPENS AND I HAVE NEVER RECOVERED:

Rose leaves. Eddie stays. And in the very next storyline, he dies. YOU SHOULD HAVE GONE WITH HER, EDDIE!

I'm not going to recount Eddie's death because I've done that already, but during this time, Rose had a backup solo feature in the Teen Titans book, and it included her hallucinating conversations with various characters. The last hallucination is of Eddie:

The next page is his last line: "...but that doesn't mean you'll never get another chance someday..." She doesn't know he's already dead. I WEEP. I WEEP ETERNALLY.

And that's pretty much the end of the canon Rose/Eddie story. Rose returned to the Titans in the next issue, but there's no scene of her learning or acknowledging Eddie's death - iirc she never mentions him again, which honestly I feel like is pretty in character. Her grief is private.

The comics Rose and Eddie appear in together are objectively awful. But somehow there's still a really compelling and heartbreaking little almost-romance in there, and now that Eddie's back in canon, I'd love to see someone at DC remember this couple, because they are so, so good together. (And imo much more interesting that Jason and Rose, who are functionally the same person and work better as two halves of the Eddie Bloomberg Defense Squad.)

Anyway if you also think they're neat, I wrote a sequel to The Lost Titans about them! You should read it: Five Couches Eddie (Tried to) Crash on After He Was Rescued from Hell (and One Time He Went Home).

#eddie bloomberg #kid devil #red devil #rose wilson #ravager

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j-eryewrites · 5 months ago

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Look for the Light

The final part of A Sinner's Redemption

SERIES MASTER LIST | MAIN MASTER LIST

Word Count: ~9.8k

Author's Note: Agh, I'm honestly crying. It's all too bittersweet. I started this fic over a year ago, and now it's over. I'm happy with how it ended and I'm glad you were all there along for the ride. Thank you for all your support for "A Sinner's Redemption". I hope you all enjoy the conclusion to Ellie, Joel, and Piper's story.

- With much love, the author.

Warnings: Canon typical violence, spoilers for the last episode and game, Joel goes full momma bear, mentions of death, suicidal ideation, mental health, explicit language, major angst and hurt (with comfort), deceit and lies, gun violence, mentions of gore, description of gore, Joel kills a whole bunch of people, mentions of surgery and medical procedures, mentions of infected, descriptions of child birth, mentions of trauma and coping mechanisms, mentions of injuries and scars (let me know if I missed anything)

Look for the Light (the Final Chapter)

Piper seemed to hit every low branch as she was dragged along. The warm hand holding hers was sweaty. Her mother’s long fingers tightened its hold.

“Ow, mommy,” Piper whined. She looked up at her mom, who quickly apologized, fighting off a painful groan.

“Baby, let’s keep going. Come on.” Anna, the girl’s mom, tugged her child along. A distant howl made her blood run cold. Everything was going wrong. Contractions constricted her body’s muscles. A runner was after them. She’d been running for who knows how long with Piper in tow. Despite the overwhelming surge of fear, Anna knew one thing. She had to keep her sweet girl safe. Both of them, now that the other one was fighting to come out into the world.

“Mommy, I-“

Anna pulled Piper along. “I know, sweet girl. I know. Once we get to the house, we’ll be safe. I promise.”

Heavy huffs of breath fall from Anna’s mouth. The pains were getting worse. She couldn’t keep the sound in—the sound the monster used to track them.

“Fuck,” Anna cried, using her free hand to clutch her round stomach.

“Mommy?” Piper peered up at Anna with worried eyes.

Taking a deep breath, Anna softly smiled down at her daughter. “Mommy’s okay, Pipes. Mommy’s okay.” She knew Piper didn’t believe her. Three-year-olds were brilliant, especially when it came to their mothers.

“Look, Pipes.” Anna pointed to the tall gray house up ahead. “We’re here.”

Anna hastily waddled her and Piper along into the house. The door swung open. “It’s me!” Anna announced. No one answered. Frantically, she looked around. “Anyone?!”

“Mommy?”

“Not now, sweetie.” A screech pierced the air. “Shit!” Anna cursed, pulling Piper up the stairs and into the farthest room. “In here, sweetie.”

Letting go of her daughter’s hand, Anna closed the door, locked it, and dragged a chair to barricade the room.

“Mommy?” Piper whispered. Her tiny finger pointed to the puddle of water underneath Anna’s legs.

“Oh…” Anna grasped her stomach. “Sweetie,” Anna winced. “Help mommy sit down.”

Piper ran to her mom’s side, reaching for her hand. With a thump, Anna collapsed against the floor. Gently, she wiped some of the grime off of Piper’s face.

“I love you; you know that, right?” Anna asked. Piper nodded.

Suddenly, glass broke. It came from downstairs. Anna bit her lip to stifle her groan. “Baby, go hide in-,” Anna howled in pain. “Go hide.”

The chair against the door thumped. Growls seeped through the cracks. It found them.

“Piper! Go-“

The door flung open. The infected charged into the room. Its sights were set on Anna’s little girl. Except it didn’t attack Piper. With a swing, the girl was tossed to the side. The infected’s actual target was revealed as it lunged at Anna.

Piper screamed, and Anna fought. With a switchblade, she swiped at the monster, fighting it off as her body fought to push a baby out. The creature gnashed its teeth, searching for something to bite. The rotten bones found home in Anna’s thigh. She cried out in pain, bringing down the blade into the Infected. She grunted with each slice of her weapon until it dropped dead.

A new cry filled the air. It was the baby.

“Oh…oh…” Anna cooed, lifting her baby. She was tiny. Her frail arms flailed in the air. Her dark eyes crinkled open.

“Mommy?” Piper’s voice called to her mom.

Anna glanced up. “Piper, come meet your sister.”

Piper tip-toed over to her mom and new baby sister.

“Hi…hey…” Anna cooed. She turned the baby over to Piper. The young girl brought her face as close as possible to her new sister.

“She looks funny,” Piper muttered.

The baby started to cry again. Anna held her close. “Did I make her cry?” Piper sniffled. Anna shook her head and chuckled.

“No, sweet girl. Babies just cry.” Then Anna turned to the baby. “Yeah, you tell ’em. You fuckin’ tell ’em, Ellie.”

“Hi Ellie…” Piper whispered. Baby Ellie grew quiet. Her bright, wide eyes looked over at her mom and sister. “I’m your big sister.”

“Do you want to hold her, Pipes?” Piper nodded. With her tiny arms, Piper held Ellie close.

“Hold her head like this, and-“ Anna adjusted Piper’s arms. “Just like that.” Anna sank deeper into the wall. Her eyes watched over her daughters, the view growing blurry.

“Yeah, it’s okay…” Anna whispered to herself. The pain in the thigh crawled its way around her body. She could feel the infection spread.

“Piper,” Anna said. “Can you take your sister and sit in the corner over there?” Piper looked confused but did as her mother said.

Anna bit back a growl. “Fuck,” she quietly cursed. She prayed that Marlene and the others would be back soon. She prayed the last thing her daughters would see was their mother become a monster.

“It’s okay.”

When Anna opened her eyes next, crickets began to chirp outside. Silently, she scolded herself for closing her eyes. Beside her, Piper sat, curled up around her baby sister, the two of them fast asleep. Anna lovingly smiled even if Piper had left the corner.

Taking a hand, she began to run her fingers through Piper’s hair. Her voice croaked but quickly smoothed out as she sang to her baby girls.

♪ Hold me ♪

♪ Close to your heart ♪

♪ Touch me ♪

♪ Give all your love to me. ♪

“Anna?” Marlene’s voice called out. Anna sat up straighter as the door to the room creaked open. Bright white lights momentarily blinded her.

“Oh god,” Marlene cursed, noticing the bite on Anna’s thigh.

With a calm voice, Anna looked up at her friend. “It’s not your fault.”

“We were delayed getting out of the zone. I’m so-“

“They’re hungry,” Anna said, looking down at her girls. “The baby needs to be fed, and I…I didn’t wanna nurse her.” Marlene furrowed her brows in skepticism. “I cut it before I was bit, and it never got to Piper. Marlene,” Anna begged.”Before.”

Sighing, Marlene lowered her gun and approached Anna. Her hands gently reached for the baby in Piper’s arms. Unconsciously, the young girl’s grip tightened around her sister.

“Sweet girl,” Anna whispered, rubbing her finger gently up and down her daughter’s nose. “Piper, I need you to wake up.” Piper stirred and snuggled deeper into her mother’s side. “Baby, please.” Piper awoke. Bringing her hands to the sides of Piper’s face, Anna smiled. Her eyes fought back tears. “There’s my sweet girl.”

“Mommy?” Piper said groggily.

“Yeah, it’s mommy. I need you to promise me something, Piper. Can you do that for mommy?” Piper nodded. “Can you promise to watch over your sister?” Again, Piper nodded, wiping the sleep away. “I need you to be a big girl and a big sister.” Tears began to flow out of Anna’s eyes. “I need you to promise me you’ll always be with her. Piper and Ellie forever. Okay?”

“Mommy, why are you crying?” Piper’s hand reached up to her mom’s face. Her tiny fingers wiped away tears. Anna struggled to peel off her daughter’s hands.

“Piper, remember Aunty Marlene? She’s gonna take you and Ellie to a new home.”

“Where are you gonna go, mommy?” Piper asked, and Anna wanted to break in two.

“I want you to…” Anna’s voice trembled as she looked at Marlene. “…take them with you to Boston… find someone to bring them up, and make sure that they’re safe.”

“I can’t do that,” Marlene breathed, but Anna ignored her.

“And I want you to give her this.” Anna handed over a small switchblade.

“Anna.”

“Her name is Ellie,” Anna explained.

“I can’t,” Marlene sternly said.

“How long have we known each other?” Anna asked. Her eyes held strength even as her mind fought the monster crawling within.

“Our whole lives,” Marlene answered.

“So you pick her up right now…take Piper, and then you kill me.”

“I can’t kill you.”

“Please, please, please.” Anna cried as Marlene stepped away with her daughters in tow. “Please!”

“Mommy?!” Piper began to cry, seeing her mother so distressed.

Anna groaned as a growl grew from her chest. It was coming—the monster.

“Marlene!” Anna screamed. Tears poured freely from her face.

“Mommy!” Piper flailed around as Marlene drew her back from her mom. “Mommy!!”

Suddenly, Marlene’s hand withdrew and was replaced by another.

“Here,” Marlene instructed the Firefly. “Hold her head… There you go.” Ellie cooed in the man’s arms. “Cover her ears.” Then she crouched down to Piper. “Cover your ears for me, Piper.”

Piper shook her head. Her only thought was her mother. “Mommy!” She cried. Anna’s sobs followed the sound.

Marlene clenched her jaw and stood up. The gun felt heavy in her hand as she marched back into the room. She had to make it quick. Anna nodded and closed her eyes. Thoughts of her daughters flashed before her as the bullet tore through her skull.

Piper’s ears rang. Ellie cried, and her sister screamed. Piper didn’t stop screaming for her mother until sleep overcame her petite body. Even when she woke up, she still cried for Anna. But she’d never come. Instead, Piper clung to her baby sister. Although memories faded with time, one thing remained clear. Piper promised. It was her and Ellie. Sisters forever.

꧁_____________꧂

A smile beamed from Joel’s face at his surprise find. Pulling himself away from the car, he called out to his girls. There was no response. He sighed.

“Ellie! Piper!”

No reaction. Joel walked closer to the truck the girls sat on. Their eyes glazed over, stuck in their own heads.

“Girls!”

Piper blinked, her ears ringing as Joel’s voice called out to her. With a gentle nudge of her elbow, she pulled Ellie out of her trance.

“D’ya hear me?” Joel asked the girls.

“No…,” Ellie shook her head. “What?”

“Well,” Joel began, “found this in there. Beefaroni. Chef Boyardee.” He proudly grinned at them.

“Oh, cool,” they muttered at the same time. Their postures shrank back down.

“And have you ever played this?” Joel blurted, regaining the girl’s attention. “Boggle? It’s a word game.”

The girls shook their heads.

“Well, if you wanna beat me at somethin’, it would be this.” Ellie’s ears perked up at Joel’s words, but she didn’t speak. Neither of them did.

With each moment of silence, Joel felt his heart tear in smaller and smaller pieces. “Well, all right then. We’re gettin’ close.” He strolled over to the girls, packing away his finds.

“Mm-hmm,” Ellie hummed.

“Hospital that way.” Joel pointed over their shoulders. “May be the one we’re lookin’ for.”

“Got it,” Ellie muttered, hopping off the back of the truck.

Slowly, Piper placed her feet on the ground. Her hands clutched tightly to the metal of the vehicle. Joel’s eyes flashed with pity, looking at the teen.

Scars had littered her body. The biggest one was found on her face like a crevice carved by tears from her now pale eye. She couldn’t see out of it anymore. A consequence Joel blamed himself for. Joel had done his best to help her heal, but it was never enough to stave off the bouts of pain that would arise from time to time. He knew even more scars were hiding deeper under her skin—for both of them.

“Take this for me?” Joel asked Piper, holding up his gun. She held it as Joel slung the backpack over his shoulder. “Thanks.” Piper nodded, brushing her hair behind her ears.

It had grown out since they’d left Jackson. Her dark curls were tucked beneath her chin. The length helped hide some of the more minor scars that lined her face.

“They had a guitar in that RV,” Joel announced as they passed an abandoned RV on the highway. The girls nodded with false amusement. “It was all smashed up but got me thinkin’, maybe I should find one. I haven’t played in forever.” Joel turned to look behind him at Ellie and Piper. “In fact, I was thinkin’ maybe I could teach you two. I bet you guys be great at it. Maybe make our own little band.” A slight chuckle left Joel’s mouth as he thought about a band of the three of them plucking away at guitars. “Do you two wanna learn how to play guitar?”

Piper shrugged before tripping over some rubble. Thankfully, she caught herself before falling to the ground.

“Ellie?” Joel muttered.

“Hm?” Ellie’s brain quickly recovered. “Oh, yeah. That’d be great. A little guitar band.”

Joel smiled at his girls. His grin was big enough for the three of them when neither of his girls felt like smiling.

The birds chirped louder and louder as they entered Salt Lake City. Even in late spring, the city emitted a ghastly heat.

“Okay, so this is what I’m thinking…” Joel began, wiping sweat from his forehead.

“Cut through that building to get around that stuff, find the skyscraper, go up and look around,” Ellie vacantly finished.

Joel’s eyes widened in surprise, but he quickly collected himself. “Uhh, actually, this time, I was thinkin’ we blast our way through that rubble.” The girls looked up at him with expressions of pure confusion. “I found some dynamite in that RV back there,” Joel said, fighting off a telling smile.

“Really?” The girls cocked their brows.

“No,” Joel teased. The smile exploded on his face. “So we’re gonna cut through that building, find a skyscraper, go up and look around. But I had you goin’, didn’t I?”

Piper rolled her eyes and bit back a smile. Ellie scoffed and continued on walking.

“Look at this place,” Joel muttered, peeking around the abandoned construction site. “Talk about bad luck.” Ellie sent him a questioning look, and Joel answered. “Military drops bombs… not one of them hits the building you’re trying to demolish.”

“No way up,” Piper mumbled. Joel peered around, discovering she was right. Spotting the edges of a ladder above, Joel turned to the girls.

“I get you two up there. You guys can drop that ladder down; maybe we go through that way,” Joel proposed. “Come on. I’ll give you a boost.”

Piper stepped up. Her hand clutched onto Joel’s shoulder as he hoisted her up. He could feel her legs shaking in hesitation as she reached for the edge. Suddenly, her legs buckled beneath her.

“You okay?” Joel asked.

“Yeah, I’m fine. Just my leg.” Piper’s hand rubbed the area where she got shot. “Get Ellie to do it.”

“Alright.” Joel nodded. “Ellie?” The girl didn’t answer him. “Ellie?”

“Els!” Piper yelled.

“What?” Ellie said, whirling around. Her attention had been taken away from the flapping construction sheet.

“You alright?” Joel questioned. “It’s just you kinda seem extra quiet today, so.”

“Oh… I’m sorry,” Ellie apologized.

“No, it’s fine,” Joel reassured her. “Did you hear what I…”

“Yeah, boost. Got it.”

Marching over to Joel, Ellie copied Piper’s earlier motions.

“One… two, up.” Ellie stood up tall and reached for the edge. A grunt escaped her mouth as she pulled herself up. The ladder clattered as Ellie slid it down to Joel.

“Ya got it?” Ellie asked.

“Yeah,” Joel huffed, trying to latch onto the ladder. Suddenly, the ladder dropped. The metal clambered to the floor. Joel narrowly dodged the object.

“God damn it, Ellie!” Joel cursed and picked up the ladder. “Shit.”

“You stay there!” He instructed Ellie.

She didn’t listen. Joel heard her voice echo off the walls of the building as she moved away from the ledge. “You gotta see this!” She exclaimed with excitement.

“Ellie?!” Joel yelled. Climbing up the ladder. Upon reaching the top, he helped Piper come to her feet before they ran after Ellie.

“Up here!” Ellie announced.

“Ellie!” Joel reprimanded.

“C’mon!” He could practically hear the young girl jumping up and down with joy. “C’mon, slow pokes.”

“Just wait. God damn it,” Joel grumbled. His knees ached as he trekked up the stairs and after Ellie. When he got to the top, his breath stilled.

His feet didn’t move. He stood there watching Ellie admire a giraffe. Piper stopped beside him, catching her breath before she approached her sister and the animal. Joe wanted to freeze time as the girls stared in awe at the peaceful creature. But time didn’t work like that.

Slowly, Joel stepped forward.

“Don’t scare it,” Ellie whispered.

“I won’t.”

His hands deftly snapped some leaves off the tree the animal was munching on. He passed the leaves to his girls.

“What are you doing?” Ellie asked, taking the leaves.

“It’s all right.” Then Joel stuck out his hand, feeding the giraffe. He raised his brows and motioned for the girls to do the same. “Come here, hurry up. Come on.”

Ellie was the first to step up. Hesitantly, she stuck out her hand as far away as she could from her body. The giraffe sniffed the leaves before opening its mouth to munch on them. Its dark tongue licked around Ellie’s hand. Giggles erupted from the girl’s mouth.

“Ellie, give me a try,” Piper interjected, sticking her hand of leaves to the creature. The giraffe moved from Ellie’s hand to Piper’s and began to feast. Disgust and amusement contorted on the teen’s face.

“God, it’s wet and it tickles.” Piper felt a shiver go down her spine. Ellie laughed and teased her sister.

Scratch what he thought earlier. If Joel could freeze time, he’d do it now. His girls were happy. God, he hadn’t heard them laugh in so long. It was better than any music he’d ever heard in his life.

“So fucking cool,” Ellie muttered at the giraffe. Before the girls knew it, their hands were empty of leaves, and the giraffe had pulled back. Its lanky legs were taking it away.

“Aw, where’s she going?” Ellie hopped back before entering a sprint, determined to follow the giraffe. “Come on, come on, come on, come on!”

Piper skipped after her, eager to spend longer with the animal.

“Okay,” Joel chuckled, chasing after his girls.

When he finally reached them, Joel couldn’t help but feel an overwhelming sense of deja vu. There, Ellie and Piper stood, gazing out across a city. The sunlight reflected off the shattered windows of the skyline. Nature overcame the city. Vines and trees ensnared everything in sight.

“So… is it everything ya hoped for?” Joel repeated himself.

Ellie grinned. “It’s got its ups and downs… but you can’t deny that view.”

Joel laughed and then joined them. The view was lovely. His eyes scanned the scene and froze on what appeared to be a hospital.

“Look,” he turned to Ellie and Piper. “I don’t know exactly where this hospital is…”

“Yeah, we’ll find it.” Ellie didn’t remove her gaze from the view.

“Sure. It’s just…” Joel trailed off, thinking of his following words. “Maybe there’s nothin’ bad out there, but so far, there’s always been somethin’ bad out there.”

“We’re still here, though.” Ellie was facing him now.

“I know. I’m only saying there’s risk.” Taking a deep breath, Joel made sure he had both girls' full attention. “We don’t have to do this. I just… I want you to know that.”

Piper froze. All of a sudden, she felt like she was on fire. Did she want to do this? She knew what awaited her and Ellie. Sick boiled in her stomach, and Piper wished she hadn’t eaten anything that day.

“What do you mean? What else are we supposed to do?” Ellie questioned.

“Nothin’. We just go back to Tommy’s.” Piper could tell it was all he wanted to do by the way Joel spoke. “We forget about the whole damn thing.”

Ellie shook her head. “After all we’ve been through… everything I’ve done… it can’t be for nothing.”

With Ellie’s confirmation, Piper knew her answer. She could see the hope in Ellie’s eyes. Those eyes had been so void of anything since their entrapment with David. Piper had already failed Ellie once. She knew she couldn’t do it again. How would she live with herself if she let her sister mindlessly walk alone into death's hands?

“I know you mean well,” Joel began.

Standing straighter, Ellie interrupted. “I know you wanna protect me. You have. And when we’re done, we’ll go wherever you want. Tommy’s, sheep ranch, the moon.” Joel laughed.

Inside, Piper cried. Her dream flashed in her mind. She returned to it every night and almost stayed in her dream that day. God, Piper wanted more than anything to have her dream come true. But Piper had made a promise. It was her and Ellie until the end, and if Ellie wanted to march right into death's arms, so would she. After all, maybe then Piper could do something good. Maybe in her death, she’d finally be able to do what she always wished- then perhaps she’d be able to save someone instead of killing.

“I’ll follow you anywhere you go,” Ellie continued. “ But there’s no halfway with this. We finish what we started.”

꧁_____________꧂

Joel’s plan was a plan. That was all Piper could say. After they’d found a way around all the rubble, Joel decided they would just walk around. They’d stumble upon the hospital eventually. However, Piper saw through Joel’s confusion. It was hard to comment on anything over her pain.

The worst of it came from her leg. Getting shot wasn’t fun. It's definitely an experience Piper wouldn’t recommend. Next came the pain in her eye. About a day or two after they escaped from the cannibalistic cult, she started to lose vision until she became completely blind.

It was tricky navigating the world with a crippled leg and a narrower peripheral vision. Some days, it was too hard. Phantom pain from her other injuries nabbed at her, cutting deep into her mind. She was weak. Piper couldn’t even walk a few miles without her leg giving out. Most of their travels to Salt Lake consisted of Piper using Joel as a crutch. Eventually, Joel assembled one for her, but she refused to use it. She just couldn’t. Not when she knew how strong she could be. If anything, Piper would just suffer through the pain. After all, it’s what she deserved for failing her sister. Piper deserved it all.

“Was this a FEDRA thing?” Ellie’s voice cut through the torment circling Piper’s mind.

Joel shook his head as they entered the abandoned encampment. “No. Army,” he corrected. “They put these places up all around the first few days after the outbreak. Emergency medical camps. Obviously, it didn't last. They had me in one just like this.”

Looking back, Joel noticed Piper lagging. Her face clenched as her hand grazed over her leg. Nodding to Ellie, he led them to a makeshift bench. The tension in Piper’s face eased.

“Were you there with Sarah?” Ellie asked, resuming their previous conversation.

“No,” Joel’s face dropped as he looked at his hands. “She was gone already.”

“Oh,” uttered Ellie.

“So what did happened?” Piper piped up to distract from the lingering pain in her thigh.

“It was for this.” Joel pointed to the scar on the side of his head.

Ellie’s eyes widened with recognition. “Ah, the guy who shot and missed. I figured that would’ve happened later.”

“No. Second day,” Joel explained.

“Well, I’ve gotta hand it to the Army people,” Ellie sighed. “They were way better at stitchin’ you up than Piper was.” She peered at her sister, hoping her teasing comment would help distract Piper. It didn’t.

“It was me,” Joel admitted. “I was the guy who shot and missed.”

Piper gulped. “Oh…” She breathed. All thoughts of her pain were replaced with concern for Joel.

“There’s no story.” Joel began. He hated telling this story. He was at his lowest. His weakest. He had lost everything. “Sarah died… and I couldn’t see the point anymore. Simple as that. And I wasn’t scared either. I was ready. I couldn’t have been more ready. When I… When I… went to pull the trigger, I-I flinched. Still don’t know why.”

Piper fiddled with her fingers, tracing the scars along her palms. She’d been there. Piper would have done it, and she wouldn’t have missed. In her mind, she saw the mall, the infected, and Ellie and Riley. Unconsciously, Piper trailed up to the scar of her bite mark. The mark was a perfect match to her teeth. She could still hear Riley and Ellie’s begs–asking her to kill them.

“Anyway, the reason I’m telling you all this…” Joel trailed off, looking at Piper’s, whose knuckles had turned white.

“I know why you’re tellin’ me all this,” Ellie interjected.

Joel turned to her. “Yeah, I reckon you do,” he smiled.

“So time heals all wounds, I guess.” Ellie jokingly rolled her eyes at the cliche.

“It’ll be fucking years then…” Piper mumbled, making Joel’s heart shatter.

“It wasn’t time that did it.” It was said so softly, but even through their trauma-induced daze, the girls heard it.

“Oh…” Piper softly said. A faint smile ghosted her lips.

“Well, I’m glad that… that didn’t work out,” Ellie muttered.

“Me, too,” Joel admitted.

Suddenly, he felt a gentle weight on his side. Joel’s eyes trailed over to Piper, who leaned against him. She avoided his gaze, but the gentle pressure said more than anything she could muster. Like a domino effect, he felt Ellie rest her head on the other side. There, they sat in silence, embracing each other’s comfort.

Just as fast as their moment started, it ended.

“We should probably get going,” Joel sighed, pushing himself up.

“Yeah,” the girl half-heartedly agreed.

“You know what I’m in the mood for?” Joel announced.

“What?” Ellie asked.

Joel smirked and peered down at her. “Shitty puns.”

A groan erupted from Piper’s mouth. “God no, Joel, why’d you have to-? “

“Oh-ho-ho.” Ellie chuckled, already flipping through the pages of the book. “People are making apocalypse jokes like there’s no tomorrow.” Joel winced. “Too soon?”

“No, it’s topical.”

Ellie giggled. “Oh, I love this one.”

“Moon rocks taste better than Earth rocks. Why?” She paused, wiggling her brows at Joel and Piper. “Cause they’re meteor.”

“Oh, that’s terrible,” Joel exclaimed.

“Fuck you,” Ellie scoffed. “That was actually good.”

“That’s a… That…,” Joel waved his hands in search of words. “That’s a zero outta 10.”

“All right, all right.” Ellie read a new joke. “What did the green grape say to the purple grape? Breathe, you idiot.”

“That was a three outta 10.”

Ellie shook her head. “Seven, minimum.”

“Uh-uh.” Ellie disagreed.

“I’m sticking with the three,” Piper added from behind the group.

“I’ll give it a five,” Joel settled.

“Five outta 10. Five?” Ellie dramatically gasped.

CLANG!

The trio whirled around. In between Ellie, Joel, and Piper sat a small flash bomb. Joel grabbed onto Ellie’s shoulder, pulling her close. Piper ducked and covered her ears.

As Piper’s head hit the ground, she couldn’t hear anything. She knew she was calling out for Joel and Ellie. It looked like they were saying her name if she squinted hard enough. Her head hurt, and it felt wet. She groaned and fell to her side. Two foggy figures loomed overhead. And then it was black.

꧁_____________꧂

“Is her head okay?” A faint voice tickled Piper’s senses.

Someone was touching her. Piper’s hand clasped around the person. Her eyes whirled open, and then she pounced. She fought until the poor woman lay on the ground. The teen could see the terror oozing from the woman, her hands raised.

“Piper?” A familiar voice commanded. “Piper! Let her go.” Piper tore her gaze off the trembling woman and onto Marlene.

“Marlene?” Realizing she still sat over the woman, Piper pushed herself off. She sent a silent apology, collecting herself. One thing was for sure. Everything hurt, more so than usual. “What happened?” She croaked, rubbing her aching head. Her hand felt sticky. It was covered in a clear ointment mixed with blood. Her blood.

Marlene dismissed the woman, who quickly left the room. “Patrol didn’t know you were coming. You got the worst of it.” The woman pointed to Piper’s head injury.

“Yeah,” Piper scoffed. “I could tell. Where’s Ellie and Joel?”

There was a pause before Marlene answered her. “Ellie’s fine. Been asking about you. Joel’s still unconscious.”

Ellie. The Fireflies. If they were here at the hospital, then… “Can I see Ellie?”

“Piper,” Marlene’s gaze grew avoidant. “All you need to know is that she’s safe.”

It was a bullshit answer. An answer Piper wouldn’t take. “Marlene, where’s my sister?”

Marlene sighed with a look that made Piper fear the answer. “She’s being prepped for surgery…” Piper shuddered, and a gasp left her mouth. She couldn’t look at Marlene. She couldn’t look anywhere. Piper couldn’t do anything as sobs choked their way out.

“You know.” Marlene stood straighter and marched over to Piper. Her eyes glared down at Piper. “Did Ellie-?”

“No,” Piper sniffled. “I…I couldn’t tell her. Not when I had- can I say goodbye?” Marlene shook her head. “Fuck…” Piper whimpered. Tears stung her skin as they trickled from her eyes down her cheeks.

“Piper, I’m sorry-” Marlene tried to comfort her.

“What about Joel?” Piper yelled. She stared up at Marlene. The pools in her eyes reflected the woman’s stern expression. “Can I say goodbye? Please, Marlene. Please.” Marlene didn’t answer her. Piper had to see Joel, she had to–“I’m saving the fucking world, and you won’t let me say goodbye?!”

Marlene took in a deep and steady breath that seemed to last hours. She raised her finger, and in came a Firefly soldier. “Grab her some paper and a pen.” The materials magically appeared. Marlene threw them into Piper’s hands. “Here, you’ll write your goodbye.”

Piper hurriedly placed the papers down and uncapped the pen. “Does Joel know?” She asked.

“Know what?” Marlene’s voice came out harsher than Piper had ever heard it.

“That you’re killing us for the cure.”

There was a deafening silence before Marlene answered. “No.”

“Are you gonna tell him?” Piper asked, tearing her attention away from the letter.

“Just hurry up and write that goodbye,” Marlene hissed.

Piper didn’t need another warning and scrambled to scribble on the papers. Her hands shook so much that Piper worried her last words would be illegible. She inhaled. She exhaled. She calmed herself, but only as much as could be expected from someone about to die. As she wrote, her vision grew sloppier. It was hard to see even with her blind eye. Still, she pushed through. With a trembling hand, she signed the letter. When Marlene snatched it out of her hands, a strangled sob scrambled out.

“Promise me he’ll get it,” Piper begged. “Promise me, Marlene.”

Marlene folded the letter and shoved it into her pocket. “Finish bandaging her up and get her prepped,” she instructed her fireflies. Then, turning on her heel, Marlene stepped out the door.

Behind her, Piper yelled. “Marlene, please! Please promise me. Please!”

꧁_____________꧂

“Welcome to the Fireflies” was the first thing Joel heard once his consciousness returned. Groggy, he pushed himself up to sit opposite Marlene.

“Easy.” Marlene gently spoke. “Ya got hit pretty hard. Patrol didn’t know who you were.”

Joel’s eyes scanned the room. Something was missing. Someone. His girls. “Where’s the girls?”

“Ellie wasn’t hurt,” Marlene began. Her answer relieved Joel, but it was not what he needed to hear. “Not even a scratch. Piper got the short end of the stick. My people are fixing her up now. They’re mostly worried about you.”

“Where are they?” He gruffly asked. His eyes stared down into Marlene’s, who remained calm.

“We lost half our crew crossing the country.” Joel frowned. She didn’t answer him. Why? She refused to answer him. “I had five men whose only job was to protect me. And I still almost got killed. How’d you do it?”

“It was all them,” Joel admitted. “Ellie and Piper fought like hell to get here.”

Marlene shook her head in disbelief. “They would’ve been dead on day one.” Sighing, she leaned back into her chair and crossed her arms. “You are the one person I never wanted to be in debt to. But I owe you. We all owe you.”

“Just take me to them,” Joel pleaded. His voice was soft, and in a tone Marlene had never heard from the man.

“I can’t.” Joel’s face contorted, and his jaw clenched. “Ellie’s being prepped for surgery. Piper soon after.”

“What surgery?” Joel questioned Marlene so slowly it sounded like a growl.

“Our doctor…,” Marlene explained, “he thinks that the Cordyceps in the girls have grown with them since birth.”

His teeth started to grind against the others. His tanned knuckles grew paler by the second. “Why is Ellie in surgery?”

“It produces a kind of chemical messenger. It makes normal Cordyceps think that she’s Cordyceps. It’s why she’s immune. He’s gonna remove it from her, multiply the cells in a lab, produce those chemical messengers… and then we can give it to everyone. He thinks it could be a cure, Joel.”

“A cure,” Joel scoffed. Then he froze.

No. No. No. No. No!

“Cordyceps grow inside the brain,” Joel stated.

Marlene gulped before confirming Joel’s fears. “It does.”

“Find someone else,” Joel gasped.

“There is no one else.” Marlene stood up and held out her hand to Joel. In it were wrinkled papers. He could see dark ink seeping through the thin sheets. “Here, this is for you.”

He snatched them from her hand and flicked them open. His hands gently straightened out any faults caused by Marlene’s mishandling. His breath shuddered, and his body trembled as he began to read.

To Joel:

I’m not really sure when and if you get this, but God, I hope you do. Marlene wouldn’t let me see you; she said you were out. She wouldn’t let me see Ellie either, and I’d rather get out one goodbye than never have said anything at all.

When we started this journey, we were just cargo, and you were our carrier. That’s how it was supposed to be. Then you did something I never thought would happen. You made me trust you. You made me feel safe. You made me feel at home, even when it was the last thing I ever wanted to feel. You reminded me how to live and not just survive.

God…I…there’s so much I want to say, but I can’t. Marlene’s getting impatient. Ellie’s going into surgery, and then I’m next. You came into this thinking we’d walk out, but we won’t. And it’s okay. It’ll be okay, Joel. Maybe now I can save someone. Maybe with me dying, I don’t have to kill anymore.

I just want you to know that when I go, I’m gonna dream of that farm. I’m gonna dream of Ellie and her puns, you playing guitar and yelling at some stupid sheep. Cause that’s my dream. A home with my family. A home with my sister and my dad.

Goodbye Joel Dad

- Piper Williams

With as much care as he could muster, Joel folded the letter and placed it in his breast pocket over his heart. A large tear fell to the floor, and Joel stifled a sob.

Marlene took Joel’s silence as a cue to speak again. “We didn’t tell Ellie. We didn’t cause her any fear; there won’t be any pain. Piper-she knows.”

Joel’s head started shaking. A physical sign of his rejection. He couldn’t let them do this. He wouldn’t lose his girls. Not when he’d just- “No. No, you take me to them. You take me to Ellie and Piper right now!” He stood up, all anger and fury, and lunged for Marlene. Joel was fast, but her men were faster. With a swift kick of the knee, Joel toppled to the floor.

“Please...” Joel cried. You don’t understand.” He kneeled in front of Marlene as if to pray. He needed the girls; he loved them. They were his redemption. “Please.”

“I do. I was there when she was born, Joel.” Marlene glared down at Joel. “I promised her mother that I would save her children. I promised. So I do understand. I’m the only one who understands. I’m sorry. I have no other choice.”

But he did. Joel had a– “I do,” he growled.

“Walk him out to the highway,” Marlene commanded. “Leave him there with his pack. Give him this.” Joel saw the glimmer of Ellie’s switchblade. His baby girl. “He tries anything… shoot him.”

The Fireflies nodded and nudged Joel off the floor with their guns. Joel scowled as Marlene watched him be escorted away. Each step farther away from the room, from his girls, was agony. In the dimly lit hospital hallway, Joel plotted. He was Joel fucking Miller, and he was going to get his girls back. The lights flickered, and Joel saw it. It was a sign reading “pediatric surgery: 6th floor.” The sixth floor. That’s where his girls would be.

“I didn’t hear anyone say, “Stop.” One of the Firefly men shoved Joel along.

“Which way?” Joel mumbled.

“Down the stairs.” They pushed Joel along.

As Joel stumbled down the staircase, he found his feet frozen. He refused to move any farther.

“The fuck are you doin’? Keep walking!” Joel stayed still. He waited. Marlene had only sent two men to escort him out—a mistake. Marlene should have known it would have taken much more to keep Joel away. “I said keep walk–”

Joel brought the heel of his palm into one of the men’s noses. CRACK! Blood poured out of the broken nose. The firefly tumbled to the floor, clutching his injury. Joel saw his chance and grabbed the gun. He cocked it and fired. The second man died. Shot right in the head.

“Where is she?!” Joel demanded, holding the gun to the surviving Firefly's head.

Through all the blood, the man looked up at Joel. “Fuck you.”

“I don’t have time for this.”

BANG! The Firefly fell limp. His radio blared to life.

“Shots fired. Shots fired!”

Joel frowned. They’d all be coming for him now, but he didn’t care. He had to save his girls. Marching up the stairs, Joel began his prowl. Expertly, his gun aimed and fired. The soldiers dropped like flies in the path of Joel’s protective fury.

BANG!

The sound of the gun followed Joel wherever he stalked along the halls of the hospital. Some of the people he came across fought. But like a bear in pursuit of protecting its cubs, they didn’t stand a chance. There was no such thing as mercy for Joel when these very people were out to kill his girls. He was swiftly making his way through the hospital–a trail of bodies in tow.

BANG!

And then silence. His breath stilled as the sign for pediatric surgery came into view. He scoured each room for any sign of his girls. But he found none. Still, Joel trekked. A faint light seeped from beneath a pair of doors up ahead. Quiet beeping sounds echoed louder than the shots from before.

“Do we have enough power?” Someone asked.

Joel pushed the door open with the butt of his gun.

“She’s ready,” a nurse said. Her hands hovered over Ellie.

The young teen’s hair lay long and brushed. All the grim from before had been washed from her body. She looked clean and peaceful as she lay on the surgery table.

“Unhook her,” Joel uttered. The nurses gasped at the sight of the gun, immediately raising their hands.

The surgeon, however, seethed with anger. In his hand, he held a scalpel. The blade glinted over Ellie’s scalp. “How did you get in here?”

Joel carefully watched the blade. “I said unhook her.”

No one except the surgeon made a move. The surgeon surged forward and stood between Ellie and Joel. In his hand, he defensively held the scalpel. “I won’t let you take her.”

BANG!

The surgeon dropped dead. Nurses screamed and cowered.

“Unhook her!” Joel yelled. “Move!”

Quickly, the nurses unhooked Ellie. Silently, they prayed to a god, to anyone to have mercy. The beeping monitor went silent. Blood trickled down Ellie’s arm from where the IV was placed.

“Cover her arm,” Joel commanded. “Fast.”

Within the blink of an eye, one of the nurses had covered the wound.

“Turn around.” Joel watched as the women quickly turned away. Just as fast, Joel lifted Ellie off of the table. She was cold but breathing. Her head flopped against Joel’s shoulder, and he worried. If Ellie was in this state, what about Piper? He didn’t have the arms and the strength to carry both girls out of the hospital. Joel held Ellie tighter. He’d have to do something he never wanted to do. Joel would have to get Ellie safe and then find Piper. He just prayed she’d be fine until he could rescue her.

Elevator doors closed in front of Joel. His arms ached from the unconscious weight of Ellie. He sighed, and Ellie snuggled closer to him. Soon, the silver doors slid open. Joel stepped out into the hospital’s parking garage. If the Fireflies had power, then they’d have cars. Working ones. The low rumble of a car engine drew Joel’s attention. He shuffled over to the vehicle.

CLICK!

“You can’t keep her safe forever,” Marlene taunted. Joel turned around. There stood Marlene with a gun. But it wasn’t pointed at Joel. No. It was pointed at Piper.

“Joel,” Piper sobbed in Marlene’s clutch. Relief flooded her body at the sight of Joel holding Ellie. She was alive. Her sister was alive.

“Piper…” Joel met her dark eyes. “Let her go.” He demanded.

Marlene shook her head. “No. I won’t let you take them, Joel.” Her hand pushed the barrel of the gun deeper into Piper’s head. The girl groaned from the pain.

“Let her go!” Joel yelled.

“Joel!” Piper gasped. “Take Ellie. Take her and let them have me. Save Ellie. Save her.”

Shaking his head, Joel fought back tears. No, he had made it this far. He was going to save them both. He had to save them. “No, Piper. No. I’m gettin’ you both out of here.”

“No matter how hard you try, no matter how many people you kill, they’re gonna grow up, Joel,” Marlene scoffed. “And then you’ll die. They’ll leave. Then what?” Marlene cocked her head. “How long till they’re torn apart by Infected or murdered by raiders?” Piper whimpered under Marlene’s grip. Her grasp tightened around the teen’s neck, making it hard to breathe. “Because they live in a broken world that you could have saved.”

“Maybe,” Joel agreed. “But it isn’t for you to decide.”

“Or you,” Marlene scolded. “So what would she decide, huh? ‘Cause I think Ellie’d wanna do what’s right. And you know it. It’s not too late. Even now…even after what you’ve done. We can still find a way.”

Joel gazed down at sleeping Ellie and then at Piper. They were his world. Maybe he wouldn’t be saving the world by taking them, but he’d be protecting his. It was selfish. He knew, but Joel deserved to be selfish, and so selfish he chose to be.

“Piper…” Joel muttered. “Do you trust me?”

“Yes,” Piper whimpered.

BANG!

The world thrashed around Piper as the tight hold on her loosened. Marlene groaned. Her body was on the floor as blood flooded from her.

“Joel!” Piper screamed, running to him. Her feet tripped over her hospital gown as she ran. “Joel!” She collapsed at his side, clutching his shoulders. Sobs ransacked her body. Joel leaned his head against hers. It was the best he could offer with his hands full of Ellie.

“I got you,” Joel whispered. “I’ve got you, sweet girl.”

A guttural cough cut through their reunion. Joel’s softened face grew dark as his sight landed on Marlene. It was a pitiful scene. The woman’s hands clawed at the floor over to the discarded weapon. A trail of her blood trickled after her.

“Piper,” Joel calmly said. “Take your sister and put her in the car.” He passed Ellie’s body into Piper’s arms. Momentarily, she buckled under the weight. Regaining herself, Piper limped over to the vehicle. She braced Ellie against the doors before lifting her to lie in the back seat.

Behind, Joel stalked after Marlene.

“No, wait.” Marlene raised her hand. “Wait, wait, wait.” Joel peered down at her. “Please,” she begged. Her breaths had become pants as her body pumped more and more blood onto the concrete. “Let me go.”

“You’d just come after them.” Joel cocked his gun and aimed. “You’d come after my girls.”

꧁_____________꧂

They had left the city far behind. Now, the tall buildings were specks of dust in the wind. Piper sat with her head against the passenger window. She wasn’t sure how she was supposed to feel. One thing was for sure: Piper didn’t feel numb. After she danced with death in the smoke of the room, she was almost butchered in; Piper found it hard to feel anything but pain. A part of her only wanted to feel pain. It made everything easier: the guilt of failing Ellie, the guilt of leaving Joel in that basement, the guilt of– Piper hissed. Her nails had dug into the skin around the scar on her thigh. Damn, these hospital gowns for being so thin.

“You okay?” Joel asked, peering over at her.

Piper removed her hand and shrugged. “I’m…” fine. It was the easiest thing to say. She’d said it before, and Joel didn't push. But was it what she wanted to say? “No.” Joel stayed quiet. She was thankful for it. As long as she continued to look out the window, maybe she could trick herself into thinking she wasn’t telling anyone these dark thoughts–that she wasn’t telling anyone the truth. “I don’t think I’ve ever been okay. Ever.”

Getting into a more comfortable position, Piper continued. “I was twelve when I first…when I first killed someone. I thought I could trust him, that he’d keep me safe, keep us safe.” Joel peeked at Ellie through the rearview mirror. “But his safety came with a price. One I couldn’t pay, so I–”

“Piper,” Joel interjected. “You don’t have to tell me.”

“But I do, Joel. I need to. Please?” Joel nodded and remained silent. “I killed him, and then FEDRA decided that if I could kill a man in self-defense, I could kill for them. So I did. That’s all I did for five years.” She stifled a sob. “I couldn’t–mess up, get sick, nothing, or else they’d leave Ellie all alone. It was my punishment. Then, one night, we ended up in the clutches of the Fireflies. They kept us chained in a room until you came along. Next thing I knew, Ellie and I were special cargo to be taken across the country.”

Piper sniffled and then chuckled. “You know when I first met you, I hated you.” She laughed again. “Funny how we ended up here, huh?” Joel gazed over at Piper. Her laughter died down, returning to sniffles. “Can I ask you something?”

“Yeah,” Joel replied.

“When you said,” Piper hesitated, “you weren’t afraid of death, that you welcomed it, what did you–what did it feel like?”

Joel sighed. “It felt…easy. Every day after Sarah’s death was filled with pain. It still hasn’t gone away,” Joel turned to give Piper a comforting smile. “But it has stopped hurting.”

Piper nodded, taking in Joel’s words. “When I was trapped in that building, knowing I failed Ellie, that I’d failed you-” Joel desperately wanted to tell her she hadn’t failed. She had survived. They all had. “I wanted to give up. It was easy just to lay down and breathe in the smoke till I–” She looked down at her hands. “But, I didn’t…and some part of me still wishes I did. That’s why I didn’t tell you or Ellie. It was easy to keep quiet and march like a lamb to slaughter. I wouldn’t be in pain anymore. I wouldn’t have to feel all this guilt and hate. I wouldn’t have to be a killer. I wouldn’t have to be Piper.”

A warm hand encased Piper’s shoulder. Joel’s fingers rubbed up and down in a soothing manner. “Even if some part of me wanted the easy way out, the others didn’t. I-” Piper took in a shaky breath. “Thank you, Joel. For saving me. For saving Ellie.”

Joel knew that no simple “you’re welcome” would suffice. Instead, he wrapped his arm around Piper and pulled her to his side. “Always,” he whispered. “Always.”

Pulling back, Piper wiped tears and snot away from her face. “Joel?” Her quiet voice questioned.

“Hmm?” He hummed.

“What are you gonna tell Ellie?”

Joel sighed. His hand holding the wheel tightened. “I don’t know, kid. I don’t know.”

As if on cue, Ellie groaned. Her body shifted on the back seat. Piper grew quiet and leaned back up against the window.

“What?” Ellie mumbled.

“It’s all right,” Joel cooed. “You’re with me.” Ellie pushed herself up but immediately toppled back down. “Take it slow. The drugs are still wearin’ off.”

“I was with the Fireflies, and then…,” Ellie groggily furrowed her brows. “What drugs?”

“They were runnin’ some tests on you…” Joel trailed off, finding his next words. “And some others. Turns out there’s a whole lot more like you… people that are immune. Dozens of ’em. And the doctors, they couldn’t make any of it work. They’ve actually…They’ve stopped lookin’ for a cure.” Joel heard Piper hold her breath at the lie.

“Where are my clothes?” Ellie wondered in her dazed state.

“Raiders attacked the hospital. I barely got ya outta there. We’ll find you some new ones on the way.”

Ellie laid her head back down, snuggling into the seat. “Were people hurt?”

“Yes,” Joel solemnly said.

“Is Marlene okay?”

Joel gulped. “I’m takin’ us home.” Ellie half-presently nodded before dozing off again. “I’m sorry,” he whispered to the young teen.

After Piper was sure her sister was out, she turned to Joel. “Joel?” She asked.

“You should get some rest,” Joel brushed off her inquiry. “You’ve been through a lot.”

Piper scoffed and shook her head. “I’m not tired.”

A knowing smile crept onto Joel’s face. “That’s what they all say, kid.” Piper wasn’t having it. Sighing, Joel compromised. “Just rest your eyes. It’ll be a long drive.”

“Okay…” Piper reluctantly agreed. She sniffled one last time before closing her eyes. The constant rumbling of the car’s tires rolling against the road beneath lulled her to sleep. Her breath slowed, matching the cadence of her younger sister's slow inhales. All the while, Joel drove. Strangely enough, he found himself feeling content. His girls were safe, and they were going home. Home.

꧁_____________꧂

“Well,” Joel’s hands slapped against his thighs as the car hood shut. Steam angrily fled into the air. “She got us close enough. We gotta walk the rest of the way.” He trotted to where the girls sat and leaned against the car's frame. “Probably about a five-hour hike… but we can manage that. Remember?”

“Yeah.” Ellie nodded.

Piper finished rolling up the sleeves of her shirt. Joel had found both her and Ellie new clothes. The hospital gowns weren’t the chosen attire for an apocalyptic world. “Yeah,” Piper chimed.

Joel flashed them a smile, and then they went off. Piper found herself welcoming their journey. She hated to admit that she missed trekking through nature. While driving in a car was nice, easy, and fast, it wasn’t what she was used to. Besides, Piper preferred feeling the ground beneath her own two feet.

“You know,” Joel huffed. The hike was getting to him. “Sarah and I used to hike like this all the time. I wouldn’t say it was her favorite thing. She wasn’t a fan of the mosquitoes and such. But she was a big climber… or scampering. That’s probably the right word. That girl… she’d see a big rock and just… pew.” He chuckled as a memory of his daughter appeared in his mind.

Piper nodded her head and playfully nudged Ellie. “Sounds like someone I know.” Ellie rolled her eyes.

“Sounds more like you–” Ellie countered.

“Well, you were the one who climbed up a tree and couldn’t climb down.”

“That was–”

Joel snickered at their bickering. “She woulda liked you two.” Piper and Ellie stopped arguing. “Not to say the three of you are the same.” Joel smiled as if he knew some inside joke the girls didn’t. “Definitely different kids.”

“How so?” Ellie wondered, stepping up beside Joel. Piper stood on Joel’s opposite side. Their attention was drawn to Joel.

“Well,” He began, “she was a lot more… I wanna say girly, and I’m not sayin’ that you’re not girly.”

“I’m not,” Ellie smirked. “If anything, Piper’s more girly than me.”

Piper wasn’t sure if she should take it as a compliment or an insult. However, responding to an insult was preferably much more fun. “Hey!” She feigned offence.

“Yeah, you’re not,” Joel agreed with Ellie. “She was taller. She had a killer smile. Again, not sayin’ that you two don’t.” Ellie smiled broadly at Piper and winked. Piper rolled her eyes but smiled back. Joel laughed. “But you know why I think she’d like you, Ellie?”

Ellie’s smile fell. “Why?”

“Cause you’re funny,” Joel stated. “I think you would’ve made her laugh. Anyway, I bet you would’ve liked her back.”

“Yeah, bet I would’ve,” Ellie muttered.

“And for Piper,” Joel said, not forgetting the other girl. “Sarah would love to try and make you laugh. And she’d look up to you.”

Piper paused, and a soft smile appeared on her face. “Thanks, Joel. Sarah sounds nice.”

“She was.” Joel concurred. Briefly, he looked down at the cracked watch adorning his wrist. Once he glanced up, he beamed. Ahead stood the faint outline of Jackson. Home. “Not much further now.”

Joel and Piper eagerly continued down the path. Ellie did not.

“Hey, wait.” Joel and Piper whirled around. Ellie’s eyes widened as if she didn’t expect them to respond. “Fuck,” she softly cursed. “Back in Kansas City, you asked me about the first time I killed someone.” Joel placed his hands on his hips. His ears listened as Ellie spoke. Meanwhile, Piper grew distantly quiet.

“When I got bit in the mall, I-It wasn’t just Piper and me.” Ellie looked away. Piper could see the tell Ellie tried to conceal. “My best friend was there, and she got bit, too.” Ellie sniffled. Piper felt her own eyes grow watery. Riley. Sweet Riley. “We didn’t know what to do, and she says, “We can just wait it out… be all poetic and just lose our minds together. And then she did. And I had to…” Piper wanted to draw Ellie into a hug, but she knew her sister had more to say. The comfort could always come later. “Her name was Riley… and she was the first to die. And then it was Tess. And then Sam and Henry.”

Joel shook his head. “That’s not on you.”

“I know, but…” Ellie tried to argue, but Joel continued.

“Look, sometimes things don’t work out the way we hope.” Joel peered over at Piper. He wasn’t just saying this to Ellie. It was a message for both of his girls. “You can feel like… like you’ve come to an end… and you don’t know what to do next. But if you just keep goin’… you find something new to fight for. And maybe that’s not what…”

“Swear to me,” Ellie interjected. “Swear to me that everything you said about the Fireflies is true.”

Piper looked away. She had never been more interested in her feet. Joel had an expressionless face as he answered her. “I swear.”

After a moment, Ellie spoke. “Okay.”

She had believed him. Piper let out a shaky breath and looked over at Joel. They shared a glance. Their eyes agreed to the lie. It was a necessary one. A lie that they both now concealed.

The rest of the journey to Jackson had been uneventful. Tommy had found them close to Jackson when he was on patrol. The reunion was sweet. Joel hugged his brother before breaking away, allowing Tommy to steal hugs from the girls. They hadn’t been expecting it by how brief and tight the hugs had been, but they had been welcomed embraces.

Maria smiled when they walked back into town. The streets had changed from the snow-covered, Christmas-decorated roads to colorful and lively bustling ones. People discarded their winter gear for lighter clothes. The summer sun and heat crept over the mountains, waiting to pounce. But for now, the air was at a pleasant temperature. As Maria showed them back to the house they had stayed in during their brief stay in Jackson, Piper spotted a familiar head of curls. Charlie. He amicably waved at her. By amicably, Charlie practically jumped where he stood, calling out her name. Piper flushed a deep shade of red and flipped him off. Joel laughed, and Ellie smirked. Her clever eyes darted between the two teens. She had something to tease her sister about.

The sun had begun to set as Joel, Piper, and Ellie settled back into the house. Each crawled out of their rooms after a long nap. Joel was the last to emerge. Age had made his cravings for naps extremely powerful. With a yawn, he pushed open the front door. A wave of deja vu fell over him.

There sat his girls on the porch. Ellie was teasing Piper about the boy they’d seen on the street. Piper rolled her eyes and denied everything, making it hard for Ellie to continue her interrogation. Instead, the young teen pulled out her pun book. Fingers flipped through the pages, landing on a particular joke. Piper dramatically groaned, and Joel realized he had seen this all before.

It was the dream. Joel’s dream. Here they were, his girls safe and sound with a whole life ahead of them. Joel felt a pleasant warmth spread throughout his body. He stood and leaned against the door frame for ages, capturing this moment in his head. The girls had been his redemption–a sinner’s redemption. Now that he had his dream, Joel was content with just living it. This was why he missed that day. This was why he stayed. He, too, deserved a second chance. They all did.

꧁_____________꧂

Thank you all again for your support. If you enjoyed this series please comment and reblog so that more people can embark on this journey with Piper, Ellie and Joel. :)

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starry-907 · 3 months ago

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Animation vs Life SMP

alright so i said in the tumblr community if we got new life series and influencer arc ep 3 on the same day i'd post my (currently very minimal and disorganized) thoughts for animation vs life series! and uh. we did indeed get new life series today soooooo yeah.

thoughts below the cut cuz it will likely be a bit long shgsldjf

Explanation of life smp

so! for those of you that don't know what life series/life smp is, it's basically hardcore but you have (usually) 3 lives instead of just one (there's been 2 seasons that don't follow that exact idea). when you hit your last life (referred to as your "red life") you get to be hostile and kill others outside of specific circumstances. last person alive wins! there's been 5 seasons so far (and a vaugely canon april fools ep), with the 6th season starting today, leading to me writing this here.

a lot of folks also add in some additional lore with these beings called the watchers, with the lore being that they're the ones organizing the games and kinda keeping the players locked in this loop of death games. i think one of the content creators has his own lore involving the watchers, martyn inthelittlewood.

if you want an explanation of ava/avm i can't type that here or we'd be here all day so instead i'll just link this post i made a while back that should help explain some stuff

The foundation

essentially this au starts with the idea of what if instead of mcyt-ers, the watchers decided to nab some silly sticks for their death game instead? the current lineup that they grabbed is:

Vic, Chosen, Dark, Second, Green, Blue, Yellow, Red, Purple, and Mango. i might add the mercs if i want more people for more complexity, but i'm still in the baby stages of ideation here.

thing is though, the watchers want to have a pawn member actually in the games, so they can manipulate events the way they want to, whenever they need to. so.....

(yeah that's right i made drawings to go along with this explanation)

ok so it isn't just because they're also purple, it's because they seemed the best candidate in terms of skill and such. cunning and resourceful, but still desperate for approval in a way, so just breadcrumb some praise and you should be able to get them to do what you need them to do right?

i mean purple does eventually realize something's up and doesn't listen to the watchers as much (when they can get away with it).

purple's changes

of course, being made a watcher does come with some changes, external and internal.

external, they get these floating eyes around their head, and the watcher symbol on their back. both of them are usually not visible, only really showing up in low light (light level 3 or less) or when under extreme stress. somehow no one's really questioned it? i mean if you're stuck in a death game (that you don't know is a loop of death games), your friend suddenly getting a bunch of eyes isn't a major concern.

what does garner attention (esp cuz these can't be hidden), is the fact that purple's elytra have turned into full on feathered wings (also with the watcher symbol). they don't allow for flight in the games (unfair advantage), but they do serve as a more... permanent reminder of where purple's ultimate loyalties should lie.

(in case you can't tell, i'm working with majority morally dark watchers here. there are some that don't like the idea, but most of them are more than down for it).

ok jumping ahead a bit we're talking curses!

what's a life series without some curses and patterns, eh? i do not have many right now, but i do know what the biggest one is, i'll do that last.

mango gets a curse to always fail to protect a close ally from death at least once

vic is cursed to always have one death that was preventable

blue has sort of a reverse of mangos, she will have at least one death protecting an ally.

ok starry but what about the canary curse?

i'm glad you asked. who's the one that always runs into battle first in ava, and is therefore the one to always die first?

THAT'S RIGHT. HECK YOU *CANARIES YOUR RED*.

i realize there's other characters that could've fit but at the same time canary red just hits so much more to me. granted the watchers didn't know for sure who their canary would be during the first game, but once red died they just collectively went 👀 and hit him with the curse.

after the first game, the ends of red's bandana become stylized to look like wings, and anyone who knows how to look can see faint images of canary wings on his shoulders. only purple knows the exact reason why.

hey so are they just stuck forever or what

uhhh haven't fully thought this part through. HOWEVER! i do know the main focus characters of this au! purple is clearly one of them, since they have a connection to the watchers (kinda against their will). the other primary focus character... well a lot of folks headcanon that the winners get to remember the past game(s) as a reward for their victory, and the first winner is someone who's more than used to dealing with having an urge in the back of their mind to kill.

basically woe, platonic bugduo upon ye. dark wins the first game, learns about the watchers and stuff, and decides to work with purple on trying to break the cycle. also! for those of you who know how third life ended take that but instead it's chosen and dark. tragic siblings.

(i guess dark did wind up fulfilling their code to destroy the chosen on- *gets exploded*)

other misc things/the scenarios imagined

they would go through all the current games, i don't have many ideas for limited life though (i've only watched all of third and secret life, i need to catch up on the others)

i realized that the boogey curse session from secret life could be very interesting to deal with (blue would be the one to start with the boogey curse), i might write that one if i ever write things for this

purple realizing at the start of limited life that everyone had their memories of third life erased (except dark, they realize dark knows but maybe by that point the alliances are already made)

purple gets to go feral at least once as a treat. is it the boogey curse? red life urges? the watchers? who knows but they get to go feral

as i said, dark is able to resist the red life urges a bit better due to experience with the mission code (which is somewhat suppressed by the watchers, they don't want to let their game be ruined by something like that). also remember how scott didn't kill anyone while affected by the boogey curse in limited life yeah dark does that and it's actually the worst

red notices the wings, he knows about canaries but he doesn't know the full significance of them.

idk what associations the winners would get (i'm still thinking about the different winners at this point anyways). I think yellow would win one, maybe also chosen or second...?

unlikely alliances, unlikely alliances as far as the eye can see. double life especially

PLEASE if you have any ideas or questions come yell at me in my ask box, i would like to talk more about this and i'm curious what thoughts y'all might have

#animator vs animation #animation vs minecraft #trafficblr #life smp #i drew this #if you have the means to check the titles of the drawings i made please do i made them kinda interesting #avlifesmp

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andreabandrea · 1 year ago

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what if you were a fortune teller and you were dating a nuclear bombgirl who escaped from a military lab and a bunch of government guys had chased you two down trying to recover her so they could use her for war but in the end your ability to predict the future helped the two of you escape and now you live peacefully on an island with a relatively small population of a few hundred - a few thousand people. and your girlfriend the nuclear bombgirl was really scared for a while to live in peace because she was created to destroy and even an accident could detonate her and theres no way to disarm her without killing her entirely and you used your predictive powers to tell her that she wont detonate so you two can live out the rest of your lives in peace. but it turns out that you lied to her. the truth was that you knew that in 2 years 1 month and 11 days, just a month before your wedding, you two would be on a picnic date at the park and she would stand up and a soccer ball would roll past her and a bunch of kids would ask her to kick it back so she would get up and run after the ball and on the way she would trip on a rock and fall to the ground and this would trigger her detonation which would kill her, you, and every single person on the island and potentially lead to a chain reaction that could devastate the entire world. however she would die peacefully without realizing the danger she really poses and the human population would eventually recover from this tragedy and possible conflict that would follow. but if you get the soccer ball instead, she will never detonate but you will have severed the thread of fate and the timestream will descend into madness, ultimately dooming humanity over the course of your lives and severing you or any other fortune teller from ever reading the future again and you would live out the rest of your days uncertain, and she would figure out that indirectly she was the cause of this and the guilt that she felt would forever drive a wedge in between you even though you had spared her life and ultimately the bond of love between you is so strong that you would still be together despite the shadow that would follow you everywhere. you're at the park now and you see the soccer ball rolling past you. and your girlfriend says "i'll get it" and she's beginning to get up, oblivious to the rock ahead of her on her path. would you stop her? or would you let her go? your nuclear bombgirl

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tamamita · 1 year ago

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(apologies ahead of time if this is something you already talked about) you're very invested in this conflict and I am genuinely confused by some things, you seem to support hamas but from my pov they're a fascist organization that took power with military might, and oppress their own people. according to people I know living in israel they've been kidnapping, r@#!ing, and killing civilians. and I've been told any palestinians who speak against it or try to escape are labeled as traitors and executed. basically what I want to know is if you support hamas despite all that, why? what am I missing here? is everything people are saying despite being documented or even personal expereince from people I know is a lie? I understand not supporting israel and I understand supporting palestinians but I don't understand supporting hamas

I'm disappointed, because you say that you've been in touch with a bunch of Israelis, yet you've made no efforts to consult with a Palestinan. The Israelis aren't suffering; the Palestinians are and have been ever since the Nakba of 1948 (which I hope your Israeli friends mentioned), 105 years if we count the Belfour declaration. So next time, please consult with a Palestinian if you want to understand the occupation better than to consult with a bunch of privileged people living in an illegal settler colonial state. It's even more evident that you'll hastly accept any information from Western and Israeli-sponsored media, e.g Hamas mass r*pe, beheaded children, etc, despite the fact that they've been debunked to death now.

I support violent resistence against colonialism and imperialism. Israel has been occupying Palestine for 75 years, so the Palestinians have actively been resisting the ever expanding settler colonial regime. Once again, Hamas at its conception was initially funded by Israel as an attempt to undermine the secular and socialist resistance groups in Palestine. Indeed, the former IOF Brig. Gen. Yitzhak Segev confessed to Mehdi Hassan that Israel funded Hamas (thus being complicit in the creation of its outdated 1988 charter). The Israelis did not expect the blowback when Hamas grew to power after they secured power in Gaza. Hamas, for me, is just a resistance group that continuous to uphold its legacy of decolonization by actively fighting against the apartheid regime. Now you may ask, why not peaceful resistance? Habibi, the last time a peaceful protest was held, 200+ Palestinians were shot to death during the Great March of Return. Israel seeks to undermine any attempts for Palestinian self-determination.

As for the death and kidnapping of those Israelis. This was inevitable. Israel is NOT a safe & peaceful country, it is keeping an entire population of people inside a cage, while blocking them from food, water, electricity and humanitarian aid. Even UN secretary general António Guterres said, what happened on October the 7th, did not happen out of a vacuum, that was the culimination of 75 years of oppression against the Palestinians. It was obvious that the resistance movement would fight back, it is the government's damn fault for putting its citizens and settler villages close to world's largest open-air prison, while expecting everything to run smoothly. Indeed, surveys show that Israelis are blaming the IOF and the government for the lack of security which resulted in the death of the Israelis.

Now, even if Hamas was removed from the equation, did you forget about the Palestinians in the West Bank who are constantly being targeted by violent settlers? Do you think Palestinians have no right to self-defense when they are being subjected to harassment, torment and systematic oppression? Palestinian children and women are constantly kidnapped, r*ped, tortured to death, blackmailed, jailed for life under a conviction rate of 99% under Israeli courts. You tell me how Palestinians feel first before you consult with a bunch of Israelis who will never suffer a fraction of what the oppressed are going through.

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thechekhov · 1 year ago

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Hello! Just wanted to say I love all your content but I wanted to ask if you had any advice/tips for running curse of strahd? I'm working on getting ready to run it with some friends/my partner and while I've run a fair amount of homebrew stuff this is my real first attempt at a legit module so I was curious if you could share anything since I believe you also are running/had run that module as well?

Thanks for asking! This is a very fun question!

I have indeed run Curse of Strahd. It was my first foray into long-term DMing and my team and I finished that campaign a little under a year ago. It was awesome, and I'm always excited to talk about it. Curse of Strahd had be a great game if everyone is on the same page!

First of all, I'm gonna say

Having Experience with Homebrew will be a huge boon

When I ran CoS, I followed the actual module about... 60% of the time. It was good... as a baseline/blueprint. But the reality is that I changed up a lot of the details. Either because I didn't like the vibes of the story, or because the plot points were antithetical to my team's goals. I changed up an entire floor of Ravenloft. I threw away a whole storyline for a major NPC because I felt it was too boring.

I think most people who run Curse of Strahd do this, actually. I've heard countless tales of how others Homebrewed their own meat onto the skeleton, and still came out of the campaign with an awesome, Strahd flavored experience. So don't worry about that part.

Here's my advice:

1. Everyone should vibe with what Strahd IS as a game.

Strahd can be a lot of things - you can Homebrew your own motivations into him, or make him a her, or change the history of his castle if need be. But if there's one thing Curse of Strahd is... it is DARK.

The Venn Diagram of Parties Who Understand That Suffering Can Be Fun To Roleplay and Parties Who Had A Good Time Doing CoS is probably a circle. You cannot do this adventure with a group of people who just want to hit monsters a whole bunch. It's an inherently 'oh my god this SUCKS' adventure. That's the main theme. Your players need to be able to enjoy that sort of game, otherwise they will just be miserable.

One of my players, upon arriving in Barovia, immediately said 'I hate it here' and then continued to say it for the rest of the campaign. That is kind of the catchphrase of CoS. Your players need to be comfortable with that sort of bleak horror and overall misery. It makes the end and the potential to finally end Strahd worth it.

That being said, Strahd can also just be... a lot. It has death and torture and psychological horror in there. KIDS DIE. Please discuss this stuff with your table, and remove elements if they guarantee a bad experience for everyone!

(Yes, you can trim down some of the viscera if you need to, that's fine. But keep in mind it will still be tragic. It SHOULD still be tragic. I set some boundaries for myself, but I also killed a whole town in an avalanche. It happened to be the only town my players had grown to like. It was a dick move. It was exactly what you would expect to happen.)

2. Read ahead - A LOT AHEAD.

For a self-contained world, Barovia isn't actually that big. It's a very small map, compared to some that span continents. That means you have the ability to flesh it out, as it were.

To add to that... some areas are... severely underdeveloped plot-wise. Sometimes there are places your players will go where it FEELS like it should link up to another point in the game but it just... doesn't. There is room to expand there. Use your Homebrew skills to connect the dots that the module doesn't!

I greatly recommend taking the time to either read through the whole adventure OR listen through some video-essays. There IS some cool stuff that comes in in the later game that you can grab and put down breadcrumbs for from day one. Or add to your own story twists.

My recommended resource for this is the Curse of Strahd DM's Guide video series.

...and to that end...

3. Start living in Ravenloft Castle WAY before your players get there.

Listen..........listen. look.

Look at this, and suffer as all GMs have suffered.

Castle Ravenloft is unarguably the biggest, stupidest, most architecturally ludicrous hurdle when it comes to GMing CoS. And I am here to tell you - IT IS DOABLE.

You can understand the castle, you can grow comfortable with it. But you need to start early. Hell, I think I began to set up Ravenloft maps before my players even knew it existed. Then I stopped, because I was scared.. but then I went back, and I.... roleplayed SOLO on my off-days! I set up little scenes between Strahd and others and imagined him setting traps, and doing other things. It helped me understand which staircase led to where, and what floors were accessible from which angles.

A part of me actually thinks that there should be a mini GMs-only class where a more experienced Strahd GM takes some time with other GMs to guide them through a map of the castle. A CoS Learning Oneshot, if you will.

There's also a LOT of talented mapmakers that create beautiful, digital CoS maps! Here's one:

Even if you are playing analogue, at a physical table, I greatly encourage you to check it out for reference. The official CoS maps are bleak and a little bit more... rustic? Than they are gothic.

Anyway, in order to avoid talking your ear off, I will end it here.

My last bit of advice is... to have fun!

Yes I know I just said that Strahd is an inherently bad-vibes game. But it's actually GOOD to let your players goof off now and then. Don't be afraid to let them do shenanigans. It builds character, and allows them to regain the energy they need to role-play properly heavy elements later.

My group did a whole bunch of funny stuff. They felt so bad about losing Ireena that when they saw Ismark, instead of explaining themselves to him they cast Darkness and tried to scramble away. There was a running joke that the cleric was too good to know about sex, so they used the euphemism 'play cards' around her, much to everyone's amusement. They got kicked by a walking house once and never forgot nor forgave. And finally, they defeated some Flame Skulls by putting them into a bag of holding.

Anyway, the point is... have fun! I wish you and your party the best of luck. :)

#chekhov answers #curse of strahd #cos #ttrpg #dnd #5e #d&d #cos 5e

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i-am-trying-my-best-okay · 9 months ago

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Attempting To Analyze Luka And Till To Try And Figure Out How Round Seven Will Go

LUKA:

From what we've seen of him, while he knows how to manipulate people's emotions, doesn't quite know how to understand them and process them. We see this as far back from when he was a kid, when he and Hyuna's brother would get into fights, and he would use his frailty as an excuse to go running to Hyuna for her to defend him; it's an excuse to get her attention, to get her to side with him against her brother. This probably made him feel good, like she placed him above her brother, even if it was momentarily.

However, this strategy came crashing down when he went too far, when he killed her brother. Perhaps this was an accident, just him being too frustrated that day, him going to far, and he didn't realize it till too late. Even so, it was fine, he just needed to present himself as the victim to Hyuna like he usually did. What he didn't anticipate, was Hyuna's complete horror and rejection of him.

Now, we don't know when exactly Hyuna ran away and went rouge, but it couldn't have been right away; also, if we're going on what we saw that one time with Hyuna still having cuffs when she was an adult, then it wouldn't be till many years later. The aliens wouldn't have put Hyuna in a different group or anything; even if she did somehow try and plead a case that she was worried for her safety or something, they'd take one look at little prized Luka and be like 'nah he's harmless; that stunt with your brother was in self defense', basically not caring at all about Hyun Woo dying at all; he wasn't as profitable as Luka. It helps that Luka is so sickly; it helps with him getting out of any actual punishment on the rare occasion he slips up. And so, in the aftermath, Hyuna and Luka still had to interact with each other everyday for the remainder of their training in childhood.

Now, to backtrack, for Luka's backstory, this is more speculation than anything. But from what I can tell, he's always had a camera in his face, some sort of eyes on him looking for media entertainment. Even before he's been properly trained, we saw that small scene of him as a child with a bunch of aliens crowding him, eyes on him, and him just looking so tired from it. I'm assuming that he was either breed and born for being a singer, or he was clocked at a very early age. Either way, he started getting media attention from before he was even put into training with others. It's in this, that Luka formed his understanding of interactions; it's performative, doing whatever the aliens want out of him for their entertainment, he learns that he needs to do certain things in order to get a positive reaction out of the aliens. It's what he needs to do to survive, all he's been trained to do really. From this all he knows about socializing is how to get an emotional response out of someone, a completely hollowed understanding of how emotions work.

And then he was put into training with other humans, which is likely the first time he's actually put with other humans. He's ostracized; he's seen as sort of 'other', since he's leagues ahead of the other humans who've barely started properly learning and he's been trained for this since forever. Also, the other humans likely have been around other humans before, meanwhile we have Luka over here who as none of the common social ques that humans have. Basically; he's never been treated like an equal before, he only knows the dehumanization dynamic from aliens, who just want him to perform. But with his group, their not asking him to perform, so he essentially ignores them, thinking that's all an interaction is. That's when Hyuna comes in; she feels like the sort of person to see how Luka is put on the outside of the group for being strange, and doggedly tries to become friends with him, despite his initial disinterest. It's through this, that Luka forms an obsession with Hyuna, his first friend, the first living being that doesn't demand anything from him. He can relax around her, do weird shit like chew on his sleeve if he feels like it and she doesn't mind, doesn't have to mask a response. He actually has positive feelings himself when he's around Hyuna, something he's not really used to. But despite this, Luka still has a dysfunctional idea of how emotions are, and really likes Hyuna, so he wants to get a positive out of her, so he still tries to do things he knows will get that out of her, like that thing with her brother.

Now, back to Hyuna now being horrified of Luka, he really doesn't know what to do with this. He tries to fix it, do every trick he knows to get a positive response from her, try to get her forgiveness, but nothing was working, and he doesn't understand why, and he's getting increasingly and dangerously frustrated. Luka is not use to getting a negative response, and I think it's through this that he really learns what that's like. So, I think to ward off his frustration, he tests getting negative responses from his fellow humans, particularly his opponents. It's through this, that he finds out how useful that can be, a more secure way to survive. As the years go by, Luka gets all the better at manipulating others emotions, and it's through this that he understands why Hyuna still won't forgive him, despite his understanding of these emotions being very clinical. Because of this, he knows how to try and better manipulate Hyuna into forgiving him, so much so that it actually starts messing with Hyuna's head. She emotionally begins to be swayed into forgiving him, but rationally she doesn't want to, and it gives her a whole complex of what she knows what she wants to feel versus what Luka is manipulating her to feel. But she ends up running away from the aliens before Luka could completely manipulate her.

When she runs away, Luka falls into a spiraling depression. The one person he's ever loved is gone, the one person who made him feel anything. From this, he dives into his work, trying to glean any sort of joy from manipulating negative responses from his competitor's to make them mess up, turning it into a sort of game at this point. It becomes his only defense against the constant eyes on him from the aliens, the constant and disgustingly dehumanizing attention that has choked him ever since he could remember. Luka folds further and further into himself, burying whatever sliver of humanity he felt with Hyuna. However, he follows very closely the revolution movement that's happening, knowing for a fact Hyuna would join (or start?) the group. The aliens likely have covered up this revolution, especially from the humans so they won't get any ideas, but with Luka being Luka, he likely has the influence to get some insider information whenever he can, causally eavesdropping on important alien figures talking about it while he sings for them. Whatever the case, no matter how much time has passed, Hyuna haunts him just as much as he haunts Hyuna. And even after all this time, he still doesn't hold the proper remorse of murdering her brother or trying to manipulate her into forgiving him, just regretting the results.

TILL:

From what I can try to glean from Till's past, it's littered in violence from the aliens. I can see there being a sort of cycle with Till; he does something that his alien owners lightly punish him for, which puts him on the defense and gets violent, which in turn makes the alien's get violent and try to restrain, which makes Till get even more violent, and so on. The aliens viewed him as sort of this feral dog, completely untrainable, moving him from home to home, shelter to shelter. They try all their methods they have to make him 'submit', but each and every time he simply refuses.

I sort of have this theory that Till didn't start out as someone with an owner, or someone who was even regulated by an alien in a adoption facility or something; he used to live on the streets, completely unmanaged, which is very rare for humans. Maybe he even had other stray humans he hung around, or maybe he managed on his own. Either way, eventually he gets captured by the aliens, and maybe his fellow stray humans get captured and broken down or killed in this. The aliens try to integrate Till into their human pet system, but he's just not having it. He wasn't trained by aliens since birth to act a certain way, which would explain his intense resistance towards them. He sees the situation for what it is, how humans being put in such a degrading and dehumanizing dynamic is wrong, and it makes him angry to be expected to put up with it. It makes him especially angry that his fellow humans expect him to go along with this dehumanization, just to keep the waters calm. Because even the humans that have sort of realized that this is wrong, were still trained under this system, and has just accepted that they need to live with it, and Till won't. They all act like he's crazy, aliens and humans alike, but Till refuses to give in.

Whatever the case, Till proves to show constant resilience, something that probably was having him set up to be on track for being 'put down', having no worth as a 'pet'. Till knew this, but it just made him push even harder, fight back harder. We see in a few flashes of Till be experimented on with syringes; possibly in an effort to make him calmer. This was probably something that happened before and after he became a singer. Even then, physically and biologically abused, he refuses to go along with this system, to try and hold on to any sense of autonomy he has even as they try to restrain and degrade it. And all this fighting does take a toll on Till; we see it in the heavy bags under his eyes, but even so, he keeps going. You know, unironically, I think Till is the embodiment of the term "the indomitable human spirit"; he just absolutely refuses to be cowed for the sake of an easier survival.

I think what kept him from being 'put down' was when it was discovered he had a talent for singing. I don't know how this was discovered; maybe Till was just bored and entertaining himself with singing or strumming a guitar, or maybe they had him tested for a talent before the decided to kill him just in case he had any sort of monetary worth. Once they figured out he had a talent, he was shipped off to be the Anact Garden's problem.

Now, Till, at his core, is an extremely protective person; it's actually kind of insane. Once he decides something is 'his', he tightly holds onto and protects it with everything he has. We see this time and time again; deciding to be the sole protector of the flowers and encouraging them to grow, literally beating someone up if they stepped on them. Following Mizi around just in case she would need help, and one day she did, and she didn't hesitate to run into that cave and fight off whatever monster she had stumbled upon, literally just some child squaring up against some mutated beast (or possibly striking a deal with it? we didn't see the whole thing. either way whatever he did must have been a huge deal because it literally changed Ivan's life). He doesn't even care if Mizi loves Sua and that she'll never love him; he just wants her to be safe and happy. And in defending Ivan as well, cause he was a weird kid, and I know Till would go from snarling at Ivan to snarling at another kid who's making fun of Ivan. And that's why he fights so hard for his own rights and autonomy as well, because he's protective of his own sense of self, refusing to let go of it. His protective instincts are his main motivation for basically all of his actions, all of his supposed feral behavior.

It's probably this that trait that drew Ivan to Till in the first place; his and Till's first interaction was Till beating him up over some flowers. It kind of looked like Ivan felt alive for possibly the first time in his life during that fight. I bet afterwards, if Ivan were to question Till on it, Till wouldn't even understand the point of the question; like of course he would defend the flowers till his last dying breath? Duh? Don't be a dick? Ivan probably followed Till around all the time, but I imagine the reason Till didn't form as close a connection to Ivan was because Till sees Ivan as just another source of violence in his life he needs to fight against. It's why he probably developed such a crush on Mizi; Till is drawn to kindness more than anything, to softness. It's why he forms a connection to the flowers, to Mizi. He can't see the kindness in Ivan, not till it's too late.

It's probably those protective instincts that made him turn back when Ivan was trying to get him to run away; of course he wanted to run away. But then he thought of Mizi, left unprotected. And then he considered Ivan, who upon running away, would also be left unprotected out in the world. His need to protect was being torn at, and in the end, he chose Mizi, leaving Ivan to fend for himself. What he didn't expect, was to see that Ivan came back too. That's when Till truly stopped seeing Ivan; his guilt didn't allow him to. He feels like he abandoned him, thrown him aside what he feels he needs to protect, forced him to come back to the facility, and now Till can't look him in the eye.

Honestly, I think it's these protective instincts that serve in his break down after Mizi left. He feels like he failed in protecting her, and not only that, he feels like there's nothing left for him to protect. He'd already thrown away the idea of protecting himself when he was entered into this competition, only motivated to protect himself to get far enough to go against Mizi in the final round, in which he was going to throw the round so that she could live. He completely threw away any protective instinct for his own survival, having accepted that at the beginning of this competition, because those he loves will always come first, and he and Mizi both couldn't survive, so really it was a no brainer for him. But now Mizi is gone, and he doesn't know how to get that desire to protect himself back, can't find the motivation for it. And so, going up against Ivan, all of the years of constantly fighting are just coming to get him, and he's just so tired. With nothing left, he was just going to throw the match. And then Ivan comes up and starts kissing him, which catches Till completely off guard. But then Ivan starts choking him before Till could process what that meant, and this made a lot more sense to him. Ivan killing him on stage lines up with everything he thinks Ivan to be; just another source of violence, and he's going to let him. But then he realizes what's actually going on, and it all clicks into place for him; Ivan loved him. Ivan had a whole inner world Till never knew because he decided to look away. And Ivan was something Till still had left to protect, but now he was gone. And all he has left to protect is the sacrifice Ivan left behind; himself.

TOGETHER:

It's unlikely these two have ever really met before; they were in different age groups when they were being trained as kids, and given their extremely different vibes it's unlikely they'd be asked to perform together or even be asked for from the same clients. So this competition is likely the first time they've met. Having never really met, what they currently think of each other is Till thinking Luka "is a dick who messed with Mizi and kisses up to the audience", and Luka thinks of Till as "an idiot who will go unhinged at the drop of a hat and has no sense of his own self preservation".

Till finds the motivation to want to survive, for Ivan's sake. He wants to protect Ivan's cause for dying, almost like he wants to make up for not properly seeing him over the years, for tossing him aside and not protecting him. Bro's got a whole complex he'll work on for the rest of his life, but right now it's really motivating him to win, so at least there's that.

It would be really easy for Luka get a negative reaction out of Till; he's very reactive to things. But I think Luka will fail in getting the right kind of reactions out of Till. Typically, when he backs his competitors into a corner, they feel too much turmoil to properly sing. But that's the thing with Till; he's reactive. If Luka pushes him physiologically, his response won't be to shut down, it'll probably motivate him to sing even better, try to sing over Luka out of spite. So Luka's best bet is to try and provoke Till into violence, and it'll prove a challenge for Till who probably already hates this guy for giving Mizi a breakdown. I bet for the entire round Till will have to try so hard not to beat this guy up, to push all his aggressive energy into the performance, but it's so clear how much he just wants to murder this man, leaving the crowd and the guards on pins and needles.

Till's normal style of competing seems to be singing over his opponents, making sure they have absolutely no time to collect themselves. It's kind of funny, how both Till and Luka's strategy is just to make the other one look worse. But Luka has a lot of experience with making the crowd like him, so he throws tricks at Till he wouldn't be expecting, somehow blending the performances perfectly. But Till has never been one to stick to the script, so I can imagine him just playing a wildly different tune, trying to force Luka to change lanes again and again, seeing if he can keep up. In the end, this isn't a performance; it's a fight, a tug of war for the spotlight.

On another point, I wonder if Till will accidently remind Luka of Hyuna; she was obviously a rebel herself, given her whole thing of going to go join a revolution, so I wonder if at some point in the performance Luka will see a bit of Hyuna in Till, and it'll cause some faulter. It's kind of funny; Luka will on purpose psychologically torment Till with those that he lost, and Till will accidently psychologically torment Luka with the one that he lost.

Really, them competing with each other is sort of like a round of chicken, seeing who will crack first. But of course, all this could be for naught when we thrown in these two uncontrollable elements; Hyuna and Mizi. They're here, at the facility, and they're in trouble. This is something both of them will deeply care about, and it's unclear how it'll factor in. I wonder, if at some point during the performance the two of them will realize Hyuna and Mizi's situation, and give each other a look, like they're saying to each other "okay fuck you and all but we've got to help them", and then their battle turns into a weird sort of temporary alliance. Maybe they try to distract the aliens with their performance or start actually fighting. Maybe they do some sort of weird complicated dance move that's made to break the power and to make it easier for Hyuna and Mizi to get away. Maybe they just say 'fuck it' and run off the stage together, going to help the other two and have them all escape. Either way, I think the ending of their performance won't have anything to do with the two of them at all, but rather another. And I suppose it's fitting for the two of them, whose current sense of identity is tied so closely to other people, rather than themselves.

#this became more of a disorganized rant of my little backstory theories then anything lol #I'm actually so chill and normal about alien stage thanks for asking #alien stage #alien stage till #alien stage luka #alien stage hyuna #alien stage sua #alien stage mizi #alien stage ivan #till #luka #hyuna #sua #mizi #ivan

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