#they really dont care about anything else
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Could you give us some more about gem in the au? I love all the stuff about this au
very funny to me how i said "oh im not gonna do anything else for this au" and here we are now...
first of all, have a doodle. it felt unfair that all the other characters have refs bit gem doesn't, so here she is now
gem is not "officially" part of the crew, she doesn't really like cave exploring unless it's like, a big open cave close to the surface. anything more complex than that and she's out. but she does love her caves obsessed friends, so she usually ends up being the one to drive them to the sight, and often stays outside in case of emergency.
on the night pearl and tango died she was doing exactly that, chilling outside in their van waiting for them to return. who knew that everything would end this way...
gem is... interesting to think about. because she lost two very dear people to her, but she wasn't actually there to see with her own eyes. and after etho tells her about what happened down there... it's not that she doesn't believe him, etho's changed appearance being proof, but its certainly hard to grasp. and she just has to accept it as a fact.
and then she also has to take care of etho, who is injured and so deeply affected by everything that happened that she probably feels a little bad for not being able to fully understand what he's going through. she's also grieving and she's in a lot of pain from loss too, but she has to put it to the side to be there for her mess of a brother.
i dont think she blames him, not consciously at least. she probably doesn't think etho is lying, or that he killed them on purpose and is now pretending. she knew him her whole life, this is not something etho would do. but it's still difficult. for both of them it's very difficult.
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Emeryposting today….I mentioned a while ago that i never really talked about her lore so here it is 😵💫 “foster fail person edition” as my friend ky described it
as for How they actually ended up in corona: In short some of the first policies implemented by Eugene (who works in social work rather than as captain of the guard in my au) included two things: the very early workings of a foster care system, and a youth program, which allowed adolescents who aged out of the orphanage (around 13-14) to be assigned to apprenticeships, giving them shelter and a potential career when they may otherwise be tossed out, leading them to turn to crime to survive.
both of these programs actually ended up being so successful in corona that other kingdoms (specifically those with very large populations of orphans…) wanted to send kids in that direction as well!
Emery was born in ingvarr and orphaned when she lost her mother, Florence, at around three years old to a preventable illness. with no other known family available to take her in, she lived in an orphanage for a little less than a year. when this particular facility was preparing to send some teens over to corona for apprenticeships (think kind of like the 1850s orphan train program), emery ended up sneaking in with the group by mistake, and due to overcrowding in ingvarr’s child welfare system nobody really noticed until it was too late….😭😭😭 very worrisome for eugene who expected a group of teenagers and got a bonus little girl who was like. barely past toddler age 😭
i dont think whoever was running the orphanage was like, evil or anything though, just really stressed and overworked. they definitely worried when emery was gone, but eugene managed to get in contact and reassure them she was okay, and to save on travel costs they sent over the little info they had of her and entrusted her in eugene’s care.
In the meantime though, the twins (around 7 at the time) had a new playmate and were having the Time Of Their Lives, introducing them to everyone like she was a weird little wild animal they found or something like “Can we keep her 🥺” GAHAHAHAHA. Ilmari (10) also liked their weird little ass although they really didn’t want to admit it, they were very bossy and protective of her in that “older sister who thinks they’re hot shit” kinda way
meanwhile varian and hugo, now newly in their 30s, married, and still childless (and very happy about this decision mind you, they SAW what uknighted dream went through) are lowkey getting a little bored and looking to maybe do some travelling with nuru and yong again. They had heard about the ingvarr kids and, knowing hugo’s history, eugene had offered them to take an apprenticeship, but for a variety of reasons they had decided to decline for now…. …..And then they find out abt this four year old who apparently just Showed Up and now nobody knows what to do with her and var and hugo IMMEDIATELY get attached.
. So. obviously they didn’t have much else to do so why not.
#pansy-art#emery#tangled kids#vat7k#varian and the 7 kingdoms#varian and the seven kingdoms#varigo#varian#hugo rottewange#hugo vat7k#vat7k donella#olivia#ruddiger#princess nuru#eugene fitzherbert#I flipped hugo here a couple times by accident Whoops
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I do think that if you're close to them, Mhin and Vere are the best at figuring out when you're upset or feeling melencholic. But they figure it out differently.
Mhin knows because they are observant and and have a habit of monitoring your behavior and file it away in their mind (and maybe notebooks whos to say really) so they have already identified your nervous/sad ticks before you let out a sigh. They would have ALOT of trouble just... to bring it up to you i think. So they would just... find ways to distract you. By leading you to an alleyway filled with cats and giving you little factoids about cats, plants in Eridia, or anything else. They might try to weave a metaphor in their exposé. Stuff like plants that survive the fogfall by shedding aerial parts and continuing on throughout a cimolex root system of roots and bulbs. And when you inevitably exclaim "like a potato?". They just turn away and chuckle. Before you can revel in this first of its kind achievement, they turn on their heals and invite you to dinner, "since you're so hungry", and they add that a couple of baked potatoes would suffice as payment for the day. You're much more animated as you follow along. Good. Thats how they like you.
Vere figures it out with his keen sense of smell. His way of asking you if you're ok is to remark on the suffocating stench of your misery (not the kind he could put you through. that is to say, the good kind, the only kind, you're his plaything". He also asks if this is your attempt at killing him. He assures you that it wouldn't come close, but he is bothered enough by it to remedy it personally.I think he would try to distract you too. By taking you to see his favorite performers (that luthist really does have talent) or activating your fight or flight instinct. Depends really. If it can be fixed by getting rid of someone, he takes care of it. Brings you their bloody fingers, to offset this uncharacteristic show of empathy. He can't have you going around thinking you'll always be in his good graces you know? If it can be solved with money, he steals it for you. Also brings you fingers, or hands you the coins in a bloody pouch. He fully expects gratitude btw.
Now the rest of the cast also catch on pretty quickly, mind you, i just think these two are the first .
As for Leander, he would also catch on quickly by interacting with you and picking up on subtle clues. If you spent enough time with him you develop a knack for knowing when his mask is thicker than usual. There is just, a glint in his eyes when he speaks about certain things that makes his usual demeanor look... unauthentic. And when you're upset, truly upset, his praticed lines irritate you. You might be tempted to yell at him to leave if he's just going to throw some half hearted words at you, even if those words are tailored to you and your responses.
Tbh i dont think that would ever be enough for him to open up completely, but he might give you a vague, roundabout inch. By, for instance, showing you something and vaguely mentioning that it was crucial in helping him become the man he is today, and that he holds it dear. That its a testament to his resilience, a trait he knows you share.
And while small, and practiced there is a hint of vulnerability there. You know that its the most he could ever give (at least at this point), and it warms your heart. Leander is happy to know that he could help ease your pain a little, but he looks at you and this valuable object and he makes a connection: both you and it have come to him at a time of great need. This connection places yet another green seal on your fate.
#MHIN MY LOVE TEACH ME ABOUT CATS AND PLANTS AND THINGS THAT SURVIVE#TBH Leander also self restraint to NOT basement-spouse you is this 🤏🏿 thin.#You wouldn't have to deal with any of this if you would just... spend your days on his bed#leander touchstarved#vere touchstarved#mhin touchstarved#touchstarved game#tangerine madness
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Hate or love Lilith Sorrengail, you cannot deny that she is really similar to Xaden.
Both of them can do anything to protect their loved ones (especially Violet), and they do protect them in their own fucked up ways. For the two of them, there is no difference in keeping someone alive and keeping someone safe.
Both of them have done questionable shit, have hurt who they loved in the process, but do not regret it, because they kept the person alive after everything.
#lilith sorrengail#xaden riorson#fourth wing#iron flame#the empyrean#definition of morally gray characters#they really dont care about anything else#they couldve been a good duo
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Thinking about human behaviour compared to animal behaviour again.
It's funny to hear people (the older gens) complaining that "kids these days are lazy, they don't wanna work, etc." What do we get for busting our asses? There is no reward. Many will never own homes. Many are unemployed, trying to find work, and nobody will hire them because they don't have a million years experience and a masters degree OR they want people to work for minimum wage??? People are giving up because there is no reward. Why would we do all this for nothing?
Same as a dog that won't recall when you haven't reinforced it with a reward. Your dog isn't going to do what you tell it to if there is no incentive. No, your dog SHOULDN'T listen just because you're boss and it should respect you. That isn't how it works. They don't think that way. And honestly neither do people.
When we went hiking Sprocket wasn't always taking treats gently from me when I recalled her or she checked in and I rewarded and my one friend told me to stop giving her treats. I told him I won't work for free so why should she. And he said "I do things for free all the time because I want to do them," and I didn't say it then, but I wish I had, but if you like doing it, that's the incentive. It's a self-rewarding behaviour. Just like anything else a dog does, like chasing a squirrel or sniffing things or getting into the trash. Heeling instead of going off to sniff stuff or recalling off of something they want to chase is something you have to reinforce. You have to give them something better so they make the choice you want them to make. They won't make it just because they *respect* you. They won't willingly recall off of exciting prey out of RESPECT. You need to give them a tangible reward for that. You cannot possibly expect your dog to listen just because and then punish them for disobeying you.
Yeah, Sprocket bit my fingers a couple times. The one time pretty hard. But she was excited. She knows how to take gently and I reminded her and she tried very hard to be gentle most of the time. I wasn't going to stop rewarding her for checking in with me and recalling while we were off leash hiking in the woods. I want her to know that coming back to me is good and in the event of an emergency I would like her to not blow me off.
#barkin up some trees#personal#the way my friends train their dog is not the way I would ever train a dog#in fairness he isnt food or toy motivated#and i dont have issues with ecollars#but they dont actually reward him for anything really#praise but little to nothing else#like yeah of course he is gonna blow you off to jump in the lake#lake is more rewarding than recalling to you when you have nothing to offer him in return#the way they recall him is that he has to come to them and then give a hand boop#and if he doesn't make contact they keep asking him until he does it#and then no reward#other than praise#which he doesnt seem to really care that much about#idk it just doesnt feel right the way they train him and i dont take advice from them on training#they also basically never have him on a leash even tho it is required by law in town#after the hike we went to the lodge restaurant and luckily we had an extra lead in the truck#otherwise they hadnt even brought one along so they were gonna leave him in their car while we ate#idk like i love my friends and they are nice people but jesus christ
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watched mouthwashing finally. the fact that i saw people be more aggressive towards curly than jimmy is kinda strange. kinda real weird
#mouthwashing#captain curly#jimmy mouthwashing#i saw people draw fanart of anya. pouring mouthwash on his exposed flesh? as punishment for failing her?#which okay. 1. i dont think shed like that. 2. are we seriously blaming curly for this more than. jimmy. the guy who DID IT?#like okay do not get me wrong. curly is to blame. he made terrible mistakes he did horrible things his inaction is inexcusable#he should have handled the situation better. if he couldnt 'take care' of jimmy (likely) he should have just at least#been there for anya. supported her and comforted her more than he did#im not saying any of it is untrue#hell the aus i saw where anya is angry with curly? where post-recovery shes genuinely mad and to a degree disgusted with him?#great! real! very reasonable! it makes sense it works its everything#but like. some of the people i saw were being straight up vile. for zero reason#'yeah curly deserves to be tortured and like skinned more by anya for closure because of what he did' HAVE WE FORGOTTEN WHO DID IT#WHY IS JIMMY GETTING LEFT OUT OF THIS CONVERSATION. ARE WE FORGETTING WHOS THE LITERAL ASSAULTER?#one of those people also said that if you ship anya and curly you should kys so uhhh not really taking that opinion seriously but. jeez#i dont ship them either for the record i just think telling people to die over it is a little excessive. thats the whole thing really#theyre being really excessive#on a similiar note i saw people say 'nobody on the ship is black and white in morality' and i agree with that about everyone BUT jimmy#for one simple reason. there is never ever a reason to rape someone. not EVER. everyone else has reasons. is complicated#and while jimmy is complicated too obviously that doesnt. like undeniably hes the worst. he is the worst because what he did is just#one of the only crimes that never ever has an explaination that means anything. its always evil
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what do i have to do to get a viral dc tumblr post nowadays? i'm desperate. do i need to talk about "i wanna see damian with darker skin" but thats it and never expand on it? do i need to talk about the batboys being damian's only family and how i hate the al ghuls for what they did to damian? DO I NEED TO TALK ABOUT ALL THE SUPERBATS TOGETHER FOR THE NTH TIME? what do you want? i'm desperate! unpopular opinion guys, DAMIAN SHOULDN'T BE BATMAN! but cass should! <- this has never been thought of before by the way. like please is there anyone out there?! CAN ANYONE HEAR ME? something something this ship is actually better because something something stephanie and damian potentional something something dick is damian's father because talia doesn't exist something something... TIM DRAKE! *and then everyone cheers*
#nothing against yall but its been getting very dry recently like...#damian wayne#dick grayson#cassandra cain#bruce wayne#talia al ghul#like some of these are fine but like do yall ever think about anything else#stephanie brown#dc comics#i dont really care for likes personally i just find it funny that the same things will circle around and nowadays it be having my head#literally spinning
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not sure how to phrase this but something i have been ruminating on recently is that xue yang is strangely fragile. obviously he is also incredibly resilient. he survived, and continues to survive, impossible things. he has a million barriers between himself and the world, but none of this actually matters when it comes to what he feels. everything is personal to him. everything pierces straight through all that armor and goes right to his battered heart, the heart that no one else believes he has. that even he is not fully cognizant of. the world strikes and strikes and strikes and so he strikes and strikes and strikes back, even (especially) when the wound is something other people would not think worthy of retribution.
xue yang would never realize this- would be outraged at the concept of it- but the way everything, everything is something to rally a defense against is in itself a form of fragility. he does not know how to let go of things, or let them pass him by. passivity is death. so he is ruthlessly cruel and violent. he projects himself as a lunatic untouchable by anything you might possibly do to him, and on some level he even believes this. but in actuality he is one raw emotional wound. he never learned to separate himself from his emotions, much less process them. the volatility is not so much insanity as it is the constant lashing out of an animal in a trap, and the trap is the world, and the trap is himself, and he is never going to get out. and like so much else, this pain is just part of the background radiation of his life. it hardly registers. to be able to register the hurt, you would have to be able to register a time in which you were not hurt.
i feel like it is a fragility that could blossom into such tenderness, given exactly the right set of circumstances. how at the very first touch of softness in his life he fell into a domesticity from which he never recovered. how much was there, still, to be salvaged from the cruelty. on some level i am always thinking about the little apple bunnies. about the meal for daozhang and the straw in a-qing's bed.
it was too little, too late. it shattered like glass when the world intruded back in. but the tenderness was there. no one, least of all xue yang, knows what might have happened had it been unearthed in him any sooner.
#he is easy to hurt. this is a fact. it is also anathema to his own self conception as well as the model of him in anyone elses minds.#xue yang#yi city#mdzs#aphelion.txt#xy#Contact is crisis; every touch is a modified blow#<- xycore anne carson quote. if you even care#meta#i guess? idk#it is always character analysis hour in my head#with a disclaimer that whether or not someone experiences empathy is NOT correlated to their morality#i dont think its necessarily that xy is incapable of empathy it's that any empathy that might exist in him is deeply deeply repressed#bc he views it as a death warrant. he (at every moment in his head and really quite often in reality) is on trial for his life#and it would be suicidal to give a shit about anyone who is not him.#especially since he knows- down to his bones- that no one is ever going to give a shit about him EXCEPT FOR him#the one chance he ever got to escape this cycle of brutality came with an expiration date built in by consequence of his past atrocities#and he only first started to comprehend anything about his own emotions after it was all already irrevocably fucked#in canon he is doomed. in fandom i am always picking him up and putting him somewhere kinder#shakes you by the shoulders do you understand what he does to me. do you. do you#if you tell me im excusing his crimes i will kill you w my lazer beam.#this isnt ABOUT THAT. this is ME BEING UNHINGED ABT HIS PSYCHOLOGY in a moral vaccuum.#i'm not saying 'hes sensitive uwu' but like i kind of am. unfortunately it mostly just motivates him to murder people#OH and when i connect the fragility to the tenderness i dont mean that i believe hes like. secretly soft#i mean that being as he is so deeply impacted by people's slights against him. he is just as deeply impacted by people's kindnesses#and he's not incapable of reciprocating it. he is INCREDIBLY fucking bad at it. but not incapable#ok i have to post this before i feel compelled to ramble any longer in the tags. jesus#got consumed by my a-yang feelings on a sunday morning sorry#not sure why i worded it as 'continues to survive' other than a constant subconscious denial that xue yang is dead
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Society immediately healed once we saw Matt Murdock in flannel tbh
#daredevil#matt murdock#charlie cox#hes pulling off this hot suburban dad look so much#on that note i miss him so much...give him back to me 😔#i really dont care about anything else in the mcu lol just give me matt already
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the bad: i have been raised without much warmth from my parents in childhood, but also pressured to conform to familial authority, doubt myself always, and value familial connections above all else (<- failed at this, and feel guilt about it.)
but also in experiencing this i have been so isolated from the entire rest of the world and others, that it will be nearly impossible to create my own "family" -> find safety and comfort in anybody else once my family is Gone. despite dis i find it really difficult to break away from the familiar, disobey and disappoint, because, well, why are my wishes more important than anybody else's. why would I cause upset and distress in anybody, and exert so much effort into my doubt filled half decisions, for my meaningless little Wishes. being away would also mean less time with these people who I'll never see again once they're gone. being raised this way is definitely paying off for those who did so.
the good: yaaaay adjacent inspiration for writing talon lore
#talkys#my dad scaring me but also giving me no advice on what to do instead only saying if i do this it will be the wrong choice leading#to more wrong choices well yep you got me i am scared. i am inept. i fear regret and punishment for wrong decisions.#i struggle to make decisions because i cant go back on them.#''ill never have savings again'' and ''you cant value friends over family they'll abandon you''#and ''living here is only a problem for you because you dont communicate. there is a way to work things out''#i wish i could work it out and stay i dont know why i cant work it out ! and what do i want#to leave so badly for... to continue to never have stable housing#never have savings again? be alone and in danger?#to be able to wear whatever i want and...buy things? really? that doesnt seem very worth it#nothing seems very worth it#im miserable here but maybe i'd be more miserable away...it is true#well at least the chances to leave are very slim. and will continue to get slimmer the more time passes.#but maybe its fine i dont want to ruin my life or be even more of a burden or reason for distress in someone else's#moving out wouldnt fix anything. wherever you go there you are.#my friend said i have to be a little selfish (positive) to push myself to leave. bt i dont want to be selfish. im ashamed of that as a trai#delete later#even now i feel immense guilt and stress when my dad does things that hurt or bother me bc i know ill miss him when he's gone.#(and ill have nobody after all of that. due to the being kept in a cage)#that sucks. why does everyone else always win. why am i always the weakest pliable one. i wish i had no emotions#my surgery is the only decision in my life ive been 100% sure on for years#and even then my parent's words had me crying and rapidly changing emotions daily until the day came#im not strong enough or sure enough about anything else to withstand More of that#<- and i know that tomorrow im gonna be like actually you know what who cares lets try to leave#and the next day ill be resigned to staying here forever#and the next day ill be like actually you know what who cares l
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you know as a neurodivergent person I only have two fucking requests of anyone I consider a friend: 1) do not cold shoulder or get aggressively angry with me for something you didn't bother to communicate you had a problem with and 2) do not fucking infantalize me and treat me like a naive fragile broken child who is a burden on everyone in my life. shouldn't be too hard right??? insane how many neurotypicals are fucking incapable of doing the bare fucking minimum
#literally the only prerequisites i have for someone to be my friend#like if I love you legitimately everything else is a non issue. it doesn't even occur to me to get mad#and it's not even in a “sigh i will look past this for you” way. genuinely there's very little you can do to bother me if you're my friend#ill just assume you had good intentions#because i trust that you wouldn't intentionally hurt me if you're my friend so getting angry is pointless#but i genuinely don't know how to handle it when people i care about get mad at me. it scares the shit out of me#ugh i can't explain what i mean#but god some people really just don't give a shit once they dont need me anymore huh#it's the way they go out of their way to make me feel like a helpless 13 year old who can't do anything right again#vagueposting the shit out of tumblr dot com#i swear if you manage to lose ME as a friend 9 times out of 10 there's smth seriously wrong with you#because i virtually have no standards and will put up with everything#and am the person who cares too much in almost every relationship in my life
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Being someone who read a lot of myths & fairytales & also has existed on the internet from a young age, I don't think the leaked pokemon stories are that big of a deal
If anything I'm just annoyed because all I'm going to hear about for the next 3 months is typhlosion pedophile jokes
#which sucks cuz i like that pokemon#but generally i get kinda annoyed whenever i hear a lot of people yapping about pokemon outside of like talking about the games because its#just like . it always feels like a pain because of how large the fanbase is to the point there are whole other fandoms within the greater#pokemon fandom#like im still annoyed that vaporeon got turned into a sex joke & no one online seems to think abt anything else but that copypasta#but like its the internet so whatever idk what i really expected#ig im just annoyed because i dont really care about the leaked stories and i dont want to hear people be shocked that the fake monsters that#kinda resemble yokai are doing things you might expect in old yokai myths idk.#🐛: bree rants#nd also its like. not officially publizhed stories. this could be someones fanfic so who . carss#cares * i am not typing that again#okay rant over#im sorry for everyone who likes a pokemon that was featured in those leaks
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i love the penumbra podcast and i love second citadel and i really enjoyed listening to the finale but i feel. weird about the way this show treats its female characters???
#as in... in a show that prides itself on defying gender boundaries and heteronormativity it still seems to frequently push its female and#genderfluid characters to the side? and ik it can't really be called bury your gays in a podcast where most of the characters are queer#(and i also do think it is important for a narrative to give character the endings that make sense rather than prioritising keeping alive#those who weren't meant to live past the end of the story so i'm not necessarily saying that it's sexist#or that caroline and quanyii should have lived for the mere fact of them being second citadel's only lesbian characters)#but it still does feel off somehow? i don't feel that it's easy to say that they were used as a vessel through which to keep the other#characters alive but i just ?????? i don't know if this is something that anyone else feels? i love tragedy in fiction but it just feels#as if this doesnt mean anything...i can see in part how their character arcs were complete but they deserved to have their happy ending and#rather than feeling the devastation of tragedy after having listened to this episode i only feel mild frustration that they weren't able to#live to see the world that they helped save? i think i will have to think of it as a once and future king thing where when olala rises so#too will caroline#i have had complicated feelings about this whole podcast for the last season or so but i can't tell if it is genuinely the podcast or if it#is just the fact that i dont need it as much as i used to and that my love for it hasnt lessened that instead my heart has just grown#bigger around it#so maybe im completely off base with this and that its just an extension of my weird feelings about almost all of season 5 in general but#hmm#also i did not care for caroline that much through the best part of this podcast so its not as though i am annoyed about her dying because#i loved her so much because honestly i didn't love her as much as i wanted to (or as much as i loved olala and quanyii and rilla)#and also!!! it was nice that they were able to be together and have closure!!!! i think it was well done in a general sense i just ???#i can't articulate it any clearer than this#second citadel#tpp#tpp spoilers#the penumbra podcast#the penumbra podcast spoilers
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🫖🐭☁️🍚
#so i did meet my old friend from years ago yesterday. i was sooooo nervous omgggg. and i was waiting outside the café we agreed on#and then saw them walk in and i was like omgggg. the anxiety... but then i gathered courage and walked towards it and thry saw me thru the#window and came out and immediately hugged me. then they were like 'omg i've been so nervous. even more than before like a date!!'#so that made me relax a bit. i feel like i dont really fully estimate what i mean to them. maybe they care about me as well haha !!#then we just got our stuff and i chose a smoothie and was ready to pay but they just got it with their stuff (they work at this chain so#they got a discount). i feel so so bad & anxious when someone else pays for me. like i feel like a burden#but i asked twice if i should send them money for it and they were like no that's fine. so i had to tell myself to just shut up abt it 🥲#bc if u keep asking u make it into a thing and make them uncomfortable etc. so i really appreciated that and it was nice even if i felt bad#but yeah then we just sat down and talked. and it was so much easier to talk to them than i had been worried abt#like it flew nicely and yeah.. i feel like i forgot a lot abt them. like they're good at conversating. so they kept it going & even if i was#awkward it was fine for them. i did however get swept up in my own anxiety so as they asked me questions i answered#but then was too whirlwindy so i didnt really ask as much back and there were things i wanted to ask but didnt :')))#then they had cards and a card game with them. so we played for a bit too. and it was a lot of fun!!! (i was anxious and kinda slow lmao#bc when i dont know smth or the rules etc already my brain stops working so yeah.. even if it was simple games i was like um um what do i do#felt stupid but yeah again they didnt do anyhing to contribute to me feeling stupid but i still felt slow >.<#but i still thought that was so much fun. i wanna do more of that T-T like yeah...that was nice#then we took a lil longer walk to a bus stop before hastily said goodbye bc the busses came T-T#it was really really really nice tho. i have missed them a lot#and i didnt .. think we would ever see eachother again. i really didnt think this could happen#im so glad i somehow got brave enough to message them and im so so glad they wanted to see me too#i cant help but wish i could go back to when we were younger#and we spent every day in school together and messaged during the days and evenings and spent sm time together#when we went into the city like several times a week and took long walks. ahh... well. im glad we got to have those moments#& idk what will happen now. i really really want to see them again. even if we'll never be that close friends again i'd *wish* that we could#still be in touch. but im so bad at replying which doesnt go over great with them.. i'll try my best to reply quicker to them#*if* they message me. sadly i cant erase my avpd but i'll try my best to reply faster if and when they message)#they also complimented my sweater i was wearing (which is my fav sweater) !!!! and yeah.. they looked so cool. which they always have#and i kept thinking abt how nice their eye makeup was (i was too shy to compliment it tho bc im really bad at like 'nice' affectionate and#anything feeling related. like im so bad... so i couldnt say anything </3)#ugh it was just so nice to sit and talk with them. im so glad i went despite my fears. bc this was so good and nice :')))
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"i am so good at misinterpreting songs to fit my blorbos" THAT'S NOT THE FLEX YOU SEEM TO THINK IT IS AND I'M GATEKEEPING MY FAVORITE MUSIC FROM YOU
#.lyr#honestly ever since just being really into music i can barely stand to blorbotag songs anymore#like no this is already about a specific story/character/situation i dont need to make it be about this other one#it stands on its own#but also i cant expect everyone else to actually care about the music on its own theyre busy caring about their blorbo#so i largely just dont say anything.#caps
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i am the only one who understands this but. sludge saturday baby
#(it is 2:34 am on a tuesday)#trousled arts#undertale#papyrus#sludge#and someone else!#dont worry about it!#atbb#pro tip. you can post spoilers if nobody knows what the hell is going on#the actual scene in my head im basing this off of is so much more intense and fucked up. but hes sillyy 😌#im really annoyed tho bc i was gonna post this with a buncha other doodles and then i hyperfixated on this one for nearly three full hours#if i manage to doodle him some more before i get my computer packed up that would be so poggers but i cant promise anything :')#does anybody still say that ... eh who cares I still say it!!!!!!!!#ahem. i am going to bed now
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