#and he only first started to comprehend anything about his own emotions after it was all already irrevocably fucked

[aphel1on]

not sure how to phrase this but something i have been ruminating on recently is that xue yang is strangely fragile. obviously he is also incredibly resilient. he survived, and continues to survive, impossible things. he has a million barriers between himself and the world, but none of this actually matters when it comes to what he feels. everything is personal to him. everything pierces straight through all that armor and goes right to his battered heart, the heart that no one else believes he has. that even he is not fully cognizant of. the world strikes and strikes and strikes and so he strikes and strikes and strikes back, even (especially) when the wound is something other people would not think worthy of retribution.

xue yang would never realize this- would be outraged at the concept of it- but the way everything, everything is something to rally a defense against is in itself a form of fragility. he does not know how to let go of things, or let them pass him by. passivity is death. so he is ruthlessly cruel and violent. he projects himself as a lunatic untouchable by anything you might possibly do to him, and on some level he even believes this. but in actuality he is one raw emotional wound. he never learned to separate himself from his emotions, much less process them. the volatility is not so much insanity as it is the constant lashing out of an animal in a trap, and the trap is the world, and the trap is himself, and he is never going to get out. and like so much else, this pain is just part of the background radiation of his life. it hardly registers. to be able to register the hurt, you would have to be able to register a time in which you were not hurt.

i feel like it is a fragility that could blossom into such tenderness, given exactly the right set of circumstances. how at the very first touch of softness in his life he fell into a domesticity from which he never recovered. how much was there, still, to be salvaged from the cruelty. on some level i am always thinking about the little apple bunnies. about the meal for daozhang and the straw in a-qing's bed.

it was too little, too late. it shattered like glass when the world intruded back in. but the tenderness was there. no one, least of all xue yang, knows what might have happened had it been unearthed in him any sooner.

[akutasoda]

the fans are always right. right?

synopsis - mr reca seemed a bit more downbeat then your used too, maybe some rather interesting reviews would cheer him up

includes - reca

warnings - gn!reader, fluff, slight crack, wc - 1.6k

a/n: i uhh had an idea... lost it and tried to salvage what i remembered and this was the result- anyway all the reviews used were given to me by some lovely people ( @tragedy-of-commons, @singularity-sam, @vxnuslogy, @mikashisus, @/milksnake-tea, @/tetrachrxmacy and @theother-victoria) try and guess who's who :))

a huffed sigh escaped you, slouching down in your chair as the clock ticked rhythmically in the background. mr reca was supposed to meet you around fifteen minutes ago. he'd never been late before.

a reasonable explanation would be that he had something more important to tend to. and that would be understandable. but for now you were bored out of mind and leaving wasn't an option as reca could show up at any time - he probably wouldn't be as forgiving if you were to show up after him.

today you two were meant to develop a new script and start on the storyboard for his latest idea. in honesty, you're still not quite sure how you landed this job. you wanted to start getting into directing films of your own but couldn't quite place how to start and so you settled for finding a job as a co-director.

after helping co-direct a few pieces here and there, you got a message from the esteemed mr reca. you had to do a couple (maybe even hundreds…) of checks to make sure you weren't actually dreaming. mr reca didn't exactly strike you as the kind of person to need or even want a co-director.

and yet here you were. apparently he enjoyed the sense of style you breathed into the films you helped direct and thought it would pair nicely with a couple of his. even to this day you find it hard to believe that you still had this job.

but you put your all into it. a lot of trust and expectation was placed upon you and you would be sure to not let him down. even if that meant waiting for him to show up for your appointed meetings.

twenty minutes.

you looked around the room for anything to pass the time, all you could think of was your phone laid idly on the desk. then an idea crossed your mind. reca had recently released a film. perhaps you could read some reviews to pass the time.

you never really expected yourself to be mentioned in any of them. yes you got credits and the recognition for being reca's personally selected co-director but most people still only talked about him in their reviews, which wasn't exactly a problem.

it didn't take long to find a rather reputable review page and so you began scrolling.

you should've expected the first one being a five star review

@bebe_fanpage101 : ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

- "This film has changed my life. My whole outlook on everything that exists in this world, in fact even in the entire universe. I can never look at anything I know the same way ever again. This film represents emotions most humans could never comprehend. But I can. Thanks to this film I have been awakened to many things previously thought unimaginable. Thank you."

a rather extreme opinion in your eyes, reca did have some “over-the-top” fans. your became intrigued after stumbling across a one star review soon after

@frankenweeniehater4life : ⭐

- "what ?"

[review has been deleted]

maybe it wasn't an actual review, but you stifle a laugh at the next review being from the same person

⭐

- "wrong movie how do i delete a review" (Edited)

perhaps this could definitely entertain you until reca arrived. you idly scrolled through the reviews, only stopping when some peaked your interest or made you smile

@seas_ablaze : ⭐⭐⭐

- "A film that does a lot of monkey business and goes bananas with it."

or alternatively,

@frankenweeniehater4life : ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

- "i've seen about a million movies and dear god this has to be one of the worst. an absolute slog to get through. the pacing was awful, everything took years to happen. the soundtrack was grating. the actors either put no effort in or way too much- either put them back on the street or send them back to the musical theater. the cinematography was dull at best and straight up nauseating at worst- i had to pause multiple times so i didn't get physically ill. and don't get me STARTED on the stilted script and dull characterization. and the dog isn't even a weenie."

you reckon they might have gotten the wrong film again… but it definitely explained the username-

and at that moment reca finally showed up, he pushed open the doors grumbling something - obviously whatever kept him busy wasn't pleasant. he had walked in with a huff and his expression didn't exactly read that of happiness.

you brushed it off and greeted him like you usually would, something that was greeted with another grumble which you could only guess was a hello of sorts towards you.

watching, you noted how he slumped into the chair on the other side of the desk and it became clear that he wasn't in the mood to get any work done. the silence was starting to get uncomfortable and so you slid your phone over to him, reviews still open.

reca perked one eyebrow up and questioned you “what's this about? we have duties to complete not waste time”

you hummed in response before sliding your phone closer until he picked it up “it's reviews from your latest film, it's not like we'll be getting things done soon and maybe they could help guide our planning” a small pause “they're quite entertaining”

he scrolled for a bit before stopping on one and reading it out loud

@/blink!vxnus! : ⭐⭐⭐⭐

- "film was great and very informative. it made the story far more interesting compared to other documentaries tackling the same story. - 1 because mr reca wasn't in the actual film"

“it's not very helpful, just compliments” he sighed “and wishful fans being normal”

you smiled in response before reaching over as he turned the phone to you and scrolling back up again “this one's a personal favorite, especially the comments”

@/bebe_fanpage101 : ⭐⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

- "came for the reca shirtless scene, stayed for the storytelling. no regrets stan robin"

- @/ultimate_recakisser : "I mean I’d be the same as well I MEAN WHAT WHO SAID THAT Speakingofshirtlessrecaifoujdthisonefanartdoesanyonewantmetosendit?"

- @/bebe_fanpage101 : "me. dms. shhh."

- @/iwishsundaywasmywife : "id judge u both. but. im the same way abt bird man so i cant"

reca stared at the review, then the comments, before his face began morphing into something akin to the middle point of shock and disgust.

he sighed “there wasn't even a shirtless scene, these people are… enthusiastic, to be nice”

you hummed in response before suggesting that the lower rated reviews may help more and scrolled until you found some.

@/iwishsundaywasmywife : ⭐

- "Great movie. Plot flows well, characters are charismatic and overall a wonderful viewing experience. Just hate the director."

@/abardslyre : ⭐

- "my gf broke up with me for the director. mr reca count ur ******* days."

you had to hold back laughter at the sight of his face distorting into confusion and a slight grimace making the corner of his lips scowl

@/seas_ablaze : ⭐

- "This is awful, pretentious garbage. In all objective fact, he's an auteur wannabe who makes idiotic movies for the normie audiences who are too stupid to think for themselves. I didn't even watch more than five minutes of it, I just know it's bad from his name attached to it. I never made a movie before or have ever taken a film class, but even I could do better than this disgrace of an art form that only a few can ever hope to master. Hell, I would personally kill all subpar directors myself if I could, I'm just that smart. As Lord Scorsese says: Cinema is dead!"

mr reca sighed, deeply, “i can't decide if this helped or not, but im leaning no at the minute”

you definitely could say you enjoyed scrolling through the reviews more, but it wasn't hard to notice how his demeanor changed. how he wasn't so grumpy and you could've sworn that at one point you'd seen a smile on his face. your idea worked.

eventually you two managed to start discussing ideas - which was more him talking your ear off with his ideas and you listening and writing down anything he told you to. and then he paused.

before you even had the chance to question if anything was the matter, reca surprised you “maybe those reviews could help for the next film”

“what do you mean?” you couldn't believe what you were hearing, your spur of the moment idea to show him reviews to hopefully boost his mood so you could both actually talk about his next film properly worked. it actually gave him ideas.

reca prattled on about how some of the reviews gave him the idea for how to expand his latest idea that had hit a wall and now he could continue to elaborate the idea. it was sort of satisfying to see how passionate he had become despite his earlier attitude.

he then abruptly stopped before trailing off “maybe i should listen to some of those reviews and change genres”

you thought that was a rather drastic suggestion, arguing that his current genres worked perfectly fine and it was his speciality, his signature if you would. but then he started mumbling again

“maybe if we went that route… then you could…” he was trailing off, you could barely piece together his coherent sentence but you could pick up on “based on us”

“what? could you repeat that again mr reca?”

“what?”

mr reca was never easy to work with.

taglist - @little-miss-chaoss, @frankiesteinn, @https-sourlimes

[ln4bub]

Okay so how about 21+39 + Oscar. like seven minutes in heaven or spin the bottle situation. (Only if you want tho)

I saw this request and I just had to write it immediately, this fits Oscar so well

———————————————

Oscar was never really one for emotion, he was almost impossible to read. So when he reluctantly agreed to play Truth or Dare with you, Logan, Robert, Arthur, and a few of your female friends you were surprised. He was always a ‘stay in the corner and observe’ kinda guy, but now he was sat in a circle, an ice cold beer in his large hand.

“Y/N, it’s your turn.” Logan nudges you, forcing you to take your eyes off Oscar. “Oh, uh dare?” You say, doubting your own choice. It’s Arthur who speaks up, a devious smile on his face.

“I dare you to do that minutes in heaven thing that Logan had to do with a driver of your choosing.” He tells you, the smirk on his face suggesting that he expected himself to be picked.

You stand up, smoothing down your dress before walking over to Oscar and extending your hand. “You coming?” You ask, eyebrow quirked. “He hopes so.” Logan laughs, sending the circle into a fit of giggles. Oscar rolls his eyes before pulling himself up and grasping your hand in his, leading you away to the closet. Arthur trails behind the two of you, locking the door after you enter. “We’ll start a seven minute timer for you, if you want to leave early then knock on the door three times.” You and Oscar confirm that you’re good to go before you hear the soft pad of Arthur walking away.

The two of you are left illuminated by the pale yellow lighting of the closet. The shadows cast over Oscar’s face, revealing a gentle smile. “We, uh, we don’t have to do anything. I have no expectations of you and I don’t want to make you uncomfortable.” Oscar rambles, his eyes avoiding yours.

“Oscar.” You say, attempting to interrupt his rant.

“I don’t want to assume that you picked me because you’re attracted to me, I mean don’t get me wrong I’d like to hope that that’s why but if it’s not that’s totally okay.” He continues.

“Oscar.”

“What?”

“Shut up and kiss me already.”

He freezes, lips parted and eyes wide. “You really want that? With me?” He asks. You giggle slightly at his reaction. “Why else would I pick you Oz?” You question, hand coming to cup the back of his neck. He leans in, your breaths mingling in the small space. His lips touch yourself, briefly and softly, but you know they’re there and you whimper, pushing your lips harder against him.

Once he senses your eagerness he’s quick to reciprocate it, his lips moving perfectly with yours. His hand comes to rest on your jaw, his tongue now sliding against your own.

“Oscar, we have seven minutes. Do something please.” You beg against his lips, causing him to groan in response and rest his forehead against yours. “You want me to touch you? To make you cum with everyone outside?” He asks teasingly, shocking you with this switch in demeanour.

“God yes please Oscar.” You whine, grinding your hips against his thigh resting between your legs. His large hand comes to rest under your dress, sliding your underwear to the side and feeling the slick gathering already.

“Is this what I do to you?“ He asks and you nod in response, unable to find words as his fingers find your clit. “Poor girl, you must be so needy. Desperate.” He whispers, placing kisses across your neck as your hand tangles in his hair. You pull lightly when his finger slips inside you, making him moan against your skin.

He curls his fingers against your walls, your back arching in pleasure as you let out a moan of his name. “Oh god, right there, fuck- please.” You babble incoherently as a second finger joins his first.

“So tight for me baby, I want you to cum on my fingers so I can lick them clean. Have the taste of you in my mouth for the rest of the night, d’you want that?” You barely comprehend Oscar’s words, his fingers moving at a rapid pace. Your moans become more high pitched, joined by the slick sounds of Oscar’s fingers moving in and out of you.

“So close Oscar, please, please, please.” You whine, grinding your clit against the palm of his hand as he continues his actions.

“I know Y/N, I know. Soak my hand for me come on, we haven’t got long.” He reminds you, hitting the spot that makes your legs turn to jelly. Your mouth drops open, a moan on the verge of slipping out before Oscar’s mouth covers your own. He muffles the loud moan of his name with his tongue, feeling your walls spasm around his fingers.

“There we go, good girl. Let it go f’me.” He tells you, slowing his fingers but continuing to draw the remnants of your orgasm from your body. When you’re spent he slides his fingers out, sucking them clean with a groan.

Arthur’s knock sounds and the lock clicks open. The two of you hastily pat down your hair and clothing before stepping back into the room. You’re a sight to behold, hair and lipstick messy, dress hitched slightly too high and legs trembling. Oscar’s not much better, flushed cheeks, ruffled hair and a sly grin on his face.

“So, what did you two besties get up to in there?” Logan asks, smirking as you both go beet red. “Didn’t sound like anything people who are ‘just friends’ do.” He adds, quirking an eyebrow. Arthur slaps his hands onto Oscar’s shoulders. “Right there Oscar, so good, oh god.” He mimics, everyone laughing at the way you both side eye each other in awkwardness.

Oscar grabs your hand, pulling you out of the party to finish what you had started. But not until he tells Logan that you’re not just friends, and now everyone knows it.

[yois2aki]

੭୧ chishiya realizing he's in love with reader... . ۫

chishiya shuntaro x gn!reader (requested)

— warnings: fluff, ooc chishiya, maybe a rough talk at the start, chishiya is just shy and in denial...

— summary: chishiya doesn't like being in love after experiencing it for the first time.

— word count: 1.3k

it's irrational. it's irrational and a waste of time.

chishiya believed he had long ago lost all his will to live. he was barely capable of feeling simple human emotions after viewing firsthand how ruthless those same human beings can be to each other.

children die everyday due to the crazy prices of medicine their parents can't afford. women are abused and sexualized and after speaking up somehow it is their fault. lives are taken away only for the fact that others seem more valuable to the society. people choose money over their own loved ones. he's seen it all throughout his course of life, his job as a future doctor not helping the attempts he would make to distract himself from this reality. this is what made him so emotionally distant.

chishiya couldn't comprehend why people took their lives so seriously, trying their best to make it out alive of the deathly games they were condoned with. anyone could die at any given moment, doesn't matter if they are in the borderlands or not. after all, unless you have money and power, in a few years no one will remember who you were.

he considered altruism useless, prioritizing his own life instead of others. if he could help someone who was at the doors of death with no negative outcome, he'd choose not to interfere, knowing that same person would die sooner or later.

and in truth, you were the complete opposite of him. if he had to define altruism in a word, he would say your name.

you made no absolute sense in his mind. so why did he feel so attracted to your mindset? why did he want to constantly learn more about what you believed in? and why did he feel so different around you?

chishiya had never felt this way about anything. so when he realized how his heart fluttered when you looked his way, or how his smart head unlearned how to properly think when you both had a deep talk, he was nothing more and nothing less than afraid. afraid that what he was feeling for another human being was love, a big flaw in the borderlands.

sometimes at night he'd ponder about how things would have turned out if he had met you in the real world. if things would have been easier there, and if he wouldn't be as afraid.

"do you like them?" kuina asked, straightforward as usual, as he stared endlessly at your back from the other side of the main division of the beach. "if you like them, you should date."

"i don't like them." he replied sourly, not bothering to bat an eye towards kuina, knowing well she'd have an eyebrow raised to show her uncertainty to what he just affirmed. "i just think they're smart, is all."

chishiya knew deep down he was lying, but he couldn't get his mind wrapped around the fact he might be falling for someone, his only visible option at the moment being denial, denial and denial.

"they could die at any moment," kuina said, a hand moving to her dummy cigarette as she kept chewing on it, now her eyes were also on you. "you should tell them about your feelings already."

"i already told you i don't have feelings for them." chishiya rolled his eyes. kuina had always spoke what comes to mind and it wasn't something chishiya liked about her, especially when it was directed towards him.

but he couldn't help but stop for a while, as his mind betrayed him and let his heart take over. was it that obvious? he definitely didn't like you, he just resonated with your standards, that's it. or maybe it was a small crush, and something he didn't want to ponder a lot. he would get over it in about two weeks.

which obviously wasn't true. actually, his admiration grew stronger, but now not only honing on your mental capability, but also your physical features. you were exactly his type, he had to admit.

he could be planning something devious inside his mind, or imagining ways he could make the stupid militants shut up for once. but all it would take was a glance at those sweet eyes of yours, staring deeply right onto his, and that damned cute smile — which he learned to love hate — you give him when you both walk past each other in the halls, that his mind would completely fly elsewhere. all his deceitful schemes he spent so much time and effort coming up with late at night, now long forgotten. everything that occupied his mind being you.

before he could realize it, he was standing awkwardly on one of the halls for the hotel rooms. he was probably going to his own, until you showed up and flashed him a quick smile of sympathy, moving the opposite way from his and paying not too much mind.

it was such a simple activity, something he used to do with his colleagues on the real world, or even with strangers that were having a very nice day. yet his face felt like it was on fire, his heart about to leave his own body, and his legs couldn't work anymore. suddenly your voice was heard from behind, and he could only freeze completely.

"chishiya?" you sounded honest, a bit of worry present on your tone. "are you alright?"

shivers went down his spine as he, for once, didn't know what to say. typically, when someone has a crush, all they want to do is to spend time with them. but for some reason, all chishiya wanted you to do was get out of his way. perhaps it was due to the lack of care he received throughout his entire childhood, but he didn't like this feeling. being in love was terrifying.

but he guessed it had to happen someday. everyone falls in love, and it ended up being his turn. it wasn't something he was used to. love wasn't an exact thing, like maths or biology, that's based off of facts. it all depended. he couldn't predict the outcome by reading your body language or solving equations with an abacus. everything was subjective.

he took a deep breath and didn't move from his position, instead focusing on letting his voice come out as nonchalant as possible.

"mhm." he mumbled, immediately wanting to punch himself in the face.

he bit his lip in embarrassment. no one would ever answer someone with "mhm" after being asked about their doings, especially not him.

"are you sure?" you asked again, moving closer to him to check on his face.

as soon as he heard your steps, he started moving himself, his body betraying his heart. he tried hiding his face with the hood, as he walked slightly faster than you.

it didn't take long for you to notice he probably didn't want to talk, so instead you just stopped and watched his back move further and further from you.

"i'm..." he started, his face turning to the side to let you know he was speaking to you, his feet not stopping. "i'm getting something from my room. goodbye."

and with that you were left alone and confused on that same hall, after he made a turn at a corner and went who knows where. you had never seen chishiya this nervous, but didn't fret too much about it, instead planning on asking kuina what was going on later.

in truth, chishiya had rushed to his bedroom and closed himself inside with the key he created since locking doors wasn't allowed at the beach. his back stuck to the door, as he breathed in and out frantically. he had looked like an idiot and knowing he did it in front of you didn't help.

this was chishiya's first time being in love and according to his analysis, he hated it.

— a/n: CHISHISYSTATYAAAAA </3 the day i write something not cute about chishiya help me because i might not be myself... i love him i need to see him pathetic rn..... hope u guys liked it!

[sorcerous-caress]

Meta Magic Seduction | Rolan

[ smut, fluff, starts intense then becomes playful, Dom!reader, Nb!reader, Bottom!reader, sub!Rolan, magic foreplay. ]

[ Reader is a sorcerer ]

"Cat got your tongue, wizard?"

If only looks could kill, you'd have been 6 feet under by now. And if things were any different, maybe a spell or two would've done the honours instead.

Alas, wizards tend to be quite useless with their mouth all gagged and pretty. Such a shame they can't comprehend the simplest magic tricks of sorcery.

Pushing your fingers deeper into his mouth, Rolan's incomprehensible mumbling only got worse as you reached the back of his throat.

Looking into his abyssal eyes, two golden rings met your gaze. You dared him to bite down or even think of scratching your delicate skin with his teeth.

"Where's your magic now?"

You rolled your hips, forcing a moan after another out of him. His leaking cock squeezed between his own body and your plush thighs. Teasing the thing each time you moved and grinded your hips on top of it.

Light began bending around his hands, sparks flew and a faint glow grew brighter and brighter as he attempted to channel the weave yet again.

You pressed your fingers harder against his tongue, holding it between your two fingers and rubbing it.

The magic fizzled immediately. Without a spoken incantation, his cute little studious magic education was worthless.

You've wanted to do this since the first time you met him, his cocky attitude, his air of false superiority. They just let anyone become a wizard these days, apparently.

But even then, these wizards really forgot their place, first Gale and now Rolan. It's about time you reminded them that no matter how much knowledge they shove down their throats, they will never be chosen by the weave itself like you were.

You are magic incarnation itself. and the only use you have of any wizard is to serve you. That's their true purpose that they forgot.

"And you call yourself a mage, pathetic." After his second failed attempt at casting anything, not even a simple cantrip, you retracted your fingers from his mouth.

Grabbing one of his horns, you pulled his face closer to yours as you observed the mess you made out of him. A look of anger and shame filled his eyes, breathing heavily with drool dripping down the corner of his lips.

But you weren't blind. You saw clearly behind the curtains of hate he veiled his every emotion with. You saw pure arousal.

Pressing your lips against his, Rolan tried resisting you at first, but that act of his quickly faded away as he melted into your mouth. Forgetting his own anger for a second at the taste of your lips, your tongue against his and god, did you always smell so good-

A sudden heat sparked at the tip of his tail, making him jolt as his eyes flew wide open.

With the hold on his horn, you kept him in place, your other hand raised as a flame slowly evaporated from your hand.

Deepening the kiss, you silently cast another spell. A sharp shard of ice resembling a knife. Carefully holding it between your fingers as you ran it over the tip of his tail, slowly teasing the ridges and bumps.

"Look at me." You broke the kiss, "open your mouth wider."

With a look of disbelief, Rolan's eyes darted between you and the ice knife. "You can't be seriously considering-"

Another pull on his horn, "I said open wide. Wizard."

You felt his cock twitch under you. He closed his eyes before opening his mouth in defeat, hands clenched and lips trembling.

"Good, now look at me." For a person who's supposed to be good at following spell instructions, it was honestly embarrassing how much wizards struggled with simple orders.

Rolan begrudgingly obeyed, eyes looking up at you in total submission as his mouth stayed open wide.

"Good boy."

Pressing the flat side of the ice knife on his tongue, the coldness contrasted against the heat inside him. His attempt at squirming to escape the cold only led to his cock getting rubbed against you ever more.

Dragging the knife slowly on his tongue, you watched the sharp edges dull and melt away, leaving nothing but a trail of water dripping from his mouth alongside his own drool.

"You really are a mess if you only could see yourself right now."

Leaning behind, you grabbed his cock from under you as you held the swollen thing in your hand, giving it a firm pump.

"A leaking mess from both ends, very fitting."

With a few more pumps, you forced moan after moan from his mouth. You've been edging him for what felt like hours, and you had no doubt he'd do anything you ask of him for release.

"Tell me, wizard, do you know what education sorcerers get about their magic?" You pressed your thumb against the slit on his cockhead, toying with it and rubbing the sensitive head.

Any attempt Rolan made at speaking ended up being incomprehensible, nothing was even gagging his mouth. Maybe you accidentally fried his brain, how disappointing.

He settled for shaking his head instead.

"None. We get nothing." You tightened your grip against the base of his cock while still toying with the head with the other hand. "You either control it, or die trying."

Your hands were drenched in his precum, the wet sounds of you pumping his cock got louder the faster you went.

"We grew up very aware of our own fragile morality, which is why you don't see us blowing up ourselves very often, you know like your kind tends to do." He was nodding along, clearly brainless and not even comprehending a single word you're saying.

He was getting close, his tail was moving wildly and his thighs were shaking under you.

"You think you can just throw money to buy scrolls and learn spells, as if true magic can ever be bought."

Keeping up the brutal pace, you kept speaking. "Rolan, do you want to cum?"

His haze filled eyes stared at you in desperation, tears collecting at the corners of them. Somehow his skin was even redder than it normally is.

"Ple…" his breath was shaky, "please." He frantically nodded.

You smiled at him.

"Then beg."

Stopping your movement, you gave his cock one final squeeze before leaving it to the cold night air.

"No…nonono you can't I was" To your disappointment, his hand unconsciously reached over to stroke his cock.

You slapped his hand away. To your surprise, he reacted quickly as his hands glowed, lips moving to whisper an incantation.

Not wasting a second, you were even quicker in altering your magic. It barely took any effort to conjure a square beneath him that completely paralysed his body.

"You really don't understand it, do you? Or maybe you simply just can't? It's embarrassing to still be unable to comprehend how much better I am than you in every way." Concentrating on keeping your spell active, you let him completely drink in the feeling of being bound and unable to move below you.

"I thought wizards are supposed to be intelligent, But what's the point of being very smart if you have the wisdom of a magic 8 ball?" Dismissing the square of magic, Rolan was free to move again.

"How did you-"

"I am faster than you, and I can cast more spells in less time. It was never a competition to begin with." You looked at him with disappointment, "and I thought you agreed to obey beforehand when we negotiated how this would go. What do you have to say for yourself?"

Taking a deep breath, Rolan steadied himself as he spoke. "I wasn't thinking….I apologise. My lips moved on their own, and I don't even remember what spell I was casting."

Your gaze softened as you cupped his face gently, "do you want a break? Maybe get some water or just completely stop."

With a quiet chuckle, Rolan shook his head, "by the nine hells no. But thank you, for stopping me"

You smiled at him, "Now, where were we?..."

Moving your hand from his face, you reached upwards as you tugged his horns again. "Oh yes. Beg."

A whine died at the back of Rolan's throat, "please…let me cum" his cock throbbed.

"And why should I? You've been nothing but useless this entire time. What do they even teach you at these schools?" You pulled his horn more, making him wince in pain as he bit his lips to try and suppress the sounds.

Rolan swallowed his pride as he looked at you with pleading eyes. "Please…please mighty sorcerer, let this pathetic wizard cum."

With a snort, you let go of his horns at his embarrassing words. "Maybe there is a use for you after all."

Raising your hips, you moved his cock with your hand until it pressed against the tightness of your entrance. Rolan's breath hitched as his lips trembled. His cock smearing precum against your opening.

Leaning over, you pressed your lips to his again. With a slow sensual kiss, you left his mouth hanging open afterwards. Looked him in the eyes as you opened yours just above his, spitting into his mouth.

"Maybe if I get enough of my fluids inside you, you'll end up with some of my magic." You watched him keep your spit in his mouth, struggling not to swallow it yet. "I guess in a way that'd make me your patron wouldn't it."

Giving him the permission to swallow, you felt his needy cock pressing more against your hole.

"Although you'd end up as a warlock then, wouldn't you?" Pushing your hips down slowly, you felt him stretch you open. "Ah I'm just kidding, after all who would ever want to fuck a warlock?" You saw the corners of his lips curl into a smile as he suppressed a laugh.

Your tightness enveloped him, inch by inch until he bottomed out inside you. His hands held onto your thighs as the pleasure overwhelmed him. Never daring to move his hips as he handed all of the control over to you.

Rocking yourself, you moved your hips at a slow pace. Your insides memorising the shape of his cock and making you the perfect fit. Pressing against all the good spots that made your hips stutter.

Rolan was struggling not to crumble, especially after all that edging. He just entered you, and he can feel his orgasm approaching fast. The way you bounced on his cock, the way your hips moved and how powerful you looked above him, it was all very overwhelming.

"I don't think…I can hold on much more." He breathed out, leaving marks on your thighs from how tightly he was gripping them.

"You may cum, Wizard. Be a good boy and do it for me, completely humiliate yourself for my amusement." You moved your hips faster, in and out, using his horns to steady yourself as you kept riding him.

True to his words, he barely lasted a minute more before white clouded his vision. Filling your insides with his seed and becoming a moaning mess in the process.

You felt him soften inside of you as you came to a stop. Giving a chance for the both of you to catch your breath.

You gave him another kiss, a quick one as you kissed the corner of his lips, moving to his cheek, then finally his forehead.

His arms wrapped around you in a hug.

"How are you feeling?" you whispered against his skin.

With an amused expression, he said. "Like I have more magic inside me now."

"I should've kept you in that hold spell, Rolan."

[forthevillains]

I wish I was your girl [pt.1]

Albert Wesker X fem! Reader

[this felt long enough already so I’ve decided to make two parts instead of just one - second will be nsfw ;)]

You were always looking at him, sneakily that is at first, but that didn't last long. You were doomed, completely lost in what you desired, so caught up in your own emotions you could barely think straight. Watching that man felt like it was gonna be the death of you, as he rolled up the sleeves of his shirt while you stood in the doorway, envelopes in hands, your grip on them tightening just from the sight of his muscular forearms. Each revealed part of his body felt tempting and your throat suddenly felt dry, so dry, you had to force yourself to gulp to make sure you're physically still there.

"You can leave those on my desk," he said and gazed at you, the shades he wore pissed you off as they blocked your way to look straight in his eyes. His voice however got you out of your own thoughts and your eyes shot up to meet his hidden ones.

"I-Of course, captain Wesker," you muttered and stepped closer, putting the envelopes down, leaving the only thing you could hold onto to suppress your nervousness.

It would be such a shame if Albert Wesker, your captain ever got to know about your feelings for him. It'd be such a shame if only he'd feel the same way... He watched you carefully, aware of how flustered his presence made you feel, not just now, but every single time. Your reactions were hard to ignore, really, especially for someone as observant as he is.

Wesker caught up with your intentions a while ago, though he would never go as far as to bring it up. No instead he'd use it to his advantage, teasing you, making you so nervous you could barely do the simple tasks he'd ask from you.

"You can leave now, unless you've got something to tell me." The man smirks as he leans against the desk, gripping the edge to keep himself steady.

Your knees got weaker at that very moment and you just shook your head. "Oh no, no, I'll just... keep going," you replied quickly and managed an awkward smile before you forced yourself to get out of there. You couldn't do anything stupid. You kept telling yourself that, over and over. He's too old for you, he's your boss on top of that, you're nothing more than a secretary... You shouldn't even do as much as you do for him, it must look as if you're his assistant instead to everyone else.

The dangerous game has begun though, the moment you started giving him looks, bringing him coffee even though he hasn't asked for it, desperately trying to spend more time with him. You wanted him too badly to comprehend, it was making you go crazy while it all was only to Wesker's amusement.

He liked to see you try, he liked to tease you about the littlest of things, even giving you compliments sometimes, only to see the blood rush to your cheeks and hear you stuttering over your own words. That only happened in private though, he made sure to keep everything a secret from everyone else.

You'd often think of him, even in your own apartment, you'd always think of how it would be if you were his girl, if only he'd love you the same way you loved him. How it would feel to wake up next to him every morning, to care for him, to have him care for you. How good it'd feel if he wrapped those strong arms around your tiny body. Oh to be held by him, you'd often thought.

However one night, one specific night... Everything was about to change for you, whether to better or worse, that's the question.

You've been in the office till the night, you were working overtime as you often did after all, you wanted to get done with as much work as you could. Though you also liked to spend time at the station, when it was all peaceful, not a single foot threatening to step in and bother you. It was your alone time, in most cases that is at least. Only one who also stayed after shift was captain Wesker, who's proven to be the definition of workaholic as he barely stepped foot out of the office. You've never seen him come in and barely twice have you seen him leave. He always worked, from early morning to late night and it made you wonder if that man got any sleep at all. How did he even function with as much lack of sleep?

It was getting too late, even for you. So you've decided to carry reports the officers left you to deliver to Wesker. Whether they were afraid or just lazy, you cared not. You'd never turn down on such an opportunity.

Walking through the station, in pure darkness, you made your way towards captain's office. It was the only source of light for you so it was easy to tell he hasn't left yet. Holding the papers to your chest as you got closer, your heartbeat quickening at the thought of talking to him yet again.

You didn't expect what you'd hear in the slightest. As you were ready to knock on the half opened door, you stopped in your own tracks as you recognized his voice. He was speaking to someone, probably through the phone. You were ready to interrupt, but then you've heard him mention Umbrella and you froze in place. At first you'd think he was speaking to someone close, maybe even a wife, but as you listened more closely, you couldn't believe your own ears.

He must've been thinking he's alone in there, what fool would be in there so late, right? Another word you've caught on made your eyes widen - a virus. It wasn't your job at all, but considering how friendly everyone was with you, you've been able to get to know of almost everything going on around here. Even the weirdest of cases...

Your blood ran cold, the realization hitting you as hard as a truck. Your hands were shaky, you couldn't believe what you were hearing. Could he really do such a thing? To all of you... To the people who were his employees, even more than that, his friends...

The papers disappeared from your hands quickly, you dropped them. A gasp escaped you soon after and you slapped a hand over your mouth, closing your eyes in frustration, hoping that the captain didn't hear. But he did.

Wesker was quick to end the call and get up from his chair. He had no idea someone was there with him, he was cursing himself in his head. How stupid it was to do that there... How stupid it was to think that you'd leave sooner...

You didn't have many options, you were panicking.

What would he do to you now that you got to know such a thing?

You decided to do the only thing that came to your mind - run. Bad choice. That act alone sold you completely. Wesker was after you in no time, he was much faster than you, especially when you were wearing an uncomfortable skirt while he was still in his uniform.

He caught up quickly, pinning you to the nearest wall, which made you let out a gasp and attempt to push him away, to no avail.

"I didn't - I didn't hear anything!" You shrieked, almost hysterically. You were panicking, wanting to slap yourself for giving yourself out like that. You should've acted confused instead, but now you've just admitted to hearing him.

"Why were you running then?" The captain asked, catching your wrists with just one of his hands and holding them behind your back to make you stop fighting. You were too shameless punching him in the chest, desperate for freedom. He found it amusing, though it was better to hold you in place, reminding you how small you are compared to him. Small and weak.

You went quiet and only looked away, awaiting his next actions, your body trembling. You were scared of him, as he towered over you with those shades on as usual, hiding all the emotions that could at least give a hint of what was about to come. His expression was unreadable. He may be mad, he may be disappointed, even scared and you'd never know.

"That's what I thought," he breathed out, the tight grip on your wrists suddenly loosening, you almost expected him to pull away, but instead he leaned closer to you, his face so close you could feel his hot breath on your cheek. "Though I feel like there's a way both of us could come to an agreement, hm?"

continue to part 2

[genloss-confessions]

New campfire analysis. Guys guys guys. Niki genloss, oh boy do I have a whole lot of feelings on niki genloss. My brain isn't working well enough right now to comprehend and then express the entire weight that carries with niki's character being squished and squeezed down into "nice" after being shown as emotional and having more depth than just that. However, I can express how Niki's death made me absolutely sob internally because oh my god. My mind sometimes tries to like recreate how the scene must've gone down in the booth, like where she was shot the first time and what angle the puzzler must've had his gun to shoot her like that, and then how she fucking screamed for help and begged for anybody to help her because she was still alive bleeding out onto the floor struggling to move. "It's cold," so what if I threw something. And then how she was put down like an animal. In the live when the puzzler goes to shoot her to kill her, its heard as only one bang but the flash from the gun kind of flickers, probably a light thing, but I hc that puzzler had to shoot her twice to kill her because he didn't hit a vital area as his second shot (In the founders cut the bang happens twice so I think it was meant to be two shots for the kill.) So, the way I see it is that she got shot once in the abdomen somewhere nearing the left or right side rather than the middle area, and then the second shot was to somewhere directly below where the neck starts and then another shot to the neck, which kills her. Another thing I have that applies to the hc that the gun went off three times is that before niki dies and the sound of the gun goes off she screams, so when she gets shot below the neck it doesn't immediately kill her, so she has time to scream, and then the third shot kills her. Or or or, when shes laying on the floor screaming for help she keeps talking about how dark it is (which makes me wanna end it all) so her screaming before the actual bang could be her seeing the door open with puzzler, gun in hand, purple light behind him, being the last thing that niki ever sees. Or just combine the two together, she sees puzzler, gets shot, screams, and then dies. Last hc I have (maybe not last) is that when the gun first goes off the sound does so much damage to her ears that she goes deaf, which is why she keeps screaming out the same things and not really paying attention to what any of the others are saying. Also her questioning tone throughout each plea for help. Guys. guys. guys. this scene? unfiltered? I might end it all imagining it. (Unfiltered generation loss save me.) Guys if you just stick to the "she doesn't see the light when she dies" theory(?), think about how Niki died(was put down like a damn animal. I'll never let that metaphor go) in a pool of her own warm blood, most likely unable to feel its warmth because her body was slowly shutting down and becoming unable to retain heat while bleeding out, unable to move and in the cold darkness for her last moments, or she stared down the barrel of a gun held by a man she could barely see, still cold, still unable to hear anything, still unable to move like a deer caught in the headlights. Niki died cold, quiet, and in the dark, every sense taken away from her in the blink of an eye.

"It's cold. I don't know what's happening. I can't see anything." -Sincerely, the anon who ranted about puzzler and the religion thingy. (I had to reveal myself because Niki Genloss.)

.

[ettawrites]

Hello, can I request Tobirama Senju with a reader who is actually Harmonia, Greek Goddess of Harmony and Concord, daughter of Aphrodite and Ares.

The story is Harmonia travels around the earth under a fake name of reader(Y/N) Namikaze. Tobirama fell in love for her after she had saved him from a near death battle and they had one child named Minato Namikaze. But one day on their supposed engagement day, her father(Ares) told reader(Harmonia) that Tobirama died in a battle. A heartbroken Reader(Harmonia) had to raise baby Minato on her own inside a village she never knew well.

I apologize if it’s too much to ask…

Might’ve butchered this but bare with me okay 😫 I hope you like it (hopefully? Maybe?)

- also fyi, was not too much to ask for, your requests are not too much don’t be silly.

I Miss Him (Tobirama Angst)

Warning: angst + swearing

It was dark, frigid and damp where the two strangers sat. A light green glow came from the woman's hands as she placed them over a wound of the broad stoic man.

The battle was long over, the wounds still remained as they waited out the heavy rain that fell over the land.

“I would thank you but you don’t have an allied headband, in fact no headband,” The man pointed out, his lips turned in a frown. It looked like that’s all his mouth could do, just frown with displeased eyes.

“Where I come from there is no such thing as these silly headbands, they are just metal on fabric,” She spoke, clearly not pleased by the lack of gratitude. The man only scoffed, swatting her hand away.

“It’s a symbol of loyalty, how can you not comprehend that? You clearly don’t seem stupid from how skilled you were on the battlefield,” Tobirama's voice was firm, a hidden compliment seeping through.

She didn’t respond to that, sitting back against the cave walls as the fire crackled. Their faces were illuminating from the flame, eyes heavy with thick emotion- there was a deep tension that was unsettling to them both.

“Tobirama,” He spoke, she looked at him dumbfounded.

“My name is Tobirama Senju,”

“Oh,” Was all she said, the name sitting on her mind once she learnt it. The man grew impatient, not liking her lack of reaction nor response.

“Well? Your name, women?” Tobirama spat, clearly irked.

“(Y/N) Namikaze,” you had replied, like it wasn’t anything special or meant anything.

“Hm,” Was all he said, and that was the start of it all.

It had been a year since the two had first met, they had gone their separate ways that night but every so often they would find each other. Whether it was in a village or a trail, or even a couple of times on the battlegrounds.

These meetings had been assumed to be fate by Tobirama, who could not get you out of his head. But for you, they were planned.

Your father had advised you not to fall for a human, especially one with so much power and influence. But what words of a father could persuade a daughter so madly in love?

It only took the 5th meeting for Tobirama to come out with it, he had a couple drinks in his system and the right amount of impatience to just ask.

You both were away from the eyes of his comrades, the bar was alive and did not miss the two slipping away.

“I believe the universe as a way of telling you where they want you,” He said, the red paint on his cheeks were smudged.

“And I always- always thought my place was strictly for the ninja world, but god damn it (Y/N),” Tobirama’s voice was thick, but it didn’t hold any anger in it.

His hands were gentle as they cupped your cheek, fingers even more so as he threaded them through your hair. He was taller, much taller and everything about him was just so justifiably well written- like he wasn’t even real.

The kiss was expected, yet so good. It was firm and sweet, a bit desperate and well waited for.

“You are where I am supposed to be,” his words muttered against your warm lips, a hint of whiskey on his breath.

“Tobirama;” Came your irked voice, a frown on your lips as you walked into the unfinished room.

“Okay..-“ Tobirama started, trying to defend himself as half the room was coloured in blue.

“Shut it! I said I wanted green for the nursery, this is not green is it?” You crossed your arms over your chest, your belly swollen under the dress you wore.

“Well blue is a part of green is it not?” It was a smug reply, which made it worse considering he was walking closer to try and embrace you.

“Do not touch me,” You spat, pointing your finger at him. His lips were in a grin, nowadays that’s all his mouth could do. A smile with bright eyes.

“You don’t mean that,” Tobirama whispered, one of his hands cradling your face with the other placed firmly on your stomach. He kissed your pout, then the top of your head. “I’ll change it after our party tomorrow,”

Tobirama had left early the next morning, apologizing over and over for being asked to do a mission. it was a supposed simple one, he promised it would be quick and he’d be back in time for the party to celebrate your one year anniversary.

When the knock on your door came you were confused, it unfortunately had turned out to be a dreary day and you rushed to open the door for whoever was standing out in the rain. It was assumed to be a friend that had come to help get you ready.

“Harmonia…” you hadn’t heard that name in a long time, nor that face. You blinked, seeing the solemn look on your fathers face. Your heart sunk deep into your stomach, so deep your baby boy had kicked in discomfort too.

“What? What happened?” You panicked, cheeks flushed and mind heavy. Your world was spinning when your father had announced your lover was dead.

It was the strangest thing, you had saw his lips move but his voice hadn’t reached your ears. There was this loud silence all around you, the hammering of your heart beating to it.

You sat for a long time, long after your father left and you stayed in the kitchen til morning came. The sun rose, illuminating the wooden table and it felt warm against your cold skin. You rose, slowly walking upstairs to the nursery.

The room that was left unfinished, the white wall half painted with blue. You could only cry, your body crumbling to your knees as you cried so loudly til your voice gave out and you fell asleep from exhaustion on the floor.

“You look pretty,” Came Minato's voice, he had begged you to get out the photo book for him. You were in the kitchen, stirring the pot of stew on the stove.

You wandered over to where he sat in the living room, your fingers threading through his yellow locks. The seven year old was referring to your wedding photo, his finger slightly tracing over where Tobirama stood in it.

“You think so?” You mused, sitting next to him. He nodded, a smile on his face and all you could see was your late husband in that warm expression.

“Of course, you always look pretty but you looked really beautiful in that photo, dad must have been happy,”

Ever since Minato had learned snippets of his father, he always brought him up whenever it seemed fit. He was curious, of course he was curious he had never met the man.

“He was, for such a stoic man I swore he cried when I walked down the aisle,” You told your son, flipping to the next page.

“That’s him crying when I told him I was pregnant with you,” a laugh escaped you at the memory, the photo was a bit blurry but it was clear to be Tobirama with tears in his eyes and a hand extended to try and stop you.

Minato laughed too once he saw it, then he had closed the book and set it aside. His fists were bunched up on his knees, shoulders slumped.

You frowned, your hand caressing his back. You knew he was upset and it pained you to see it.

“Is it weird for me to miss him? Even though I never met him…?” Tiny tears welled up in his eyes, escaping down his cheek and you gently wiped them away.

“It’s not weird baby, it’s normal I promise,” you whispered, bringing him to your chest as he latched onto your tightly. You hugged him, your cheek pressed into the top of his head.

“I really miss him,” His words muffled into your sweater, for a little kid his grip was strong.

“I miss him too,” You replied, your eyes glossy. It was hard, living in this village without Tobirama; raising his boy he never got to meet. It wasn’t supposed to be just you and your boy, alone together.

For the goddess of Harmony your life was not balanced, ever since Tobirama had passed you felt your heart had a small empty spot; he must had taken it with him. Or perhaps you didn’t reside as that goddess anymore? Maybe that was a curse by the fate for deciding to fall for a human. Even though it was short lived and left you heart broken, the time that you did spent together was worth ever second.

[bluerose5]

Just some of my Iron Bull in BG3/Faerûn AU musings from discord, so that I can keep them organized if I ever want to reference this and write something:

Out of all of the dragon age characters to be dumped in Faerûn, he would probably be the one to adapt the quickest to the change. He is a spy after all. He was trained to infiltrate foreign lands and learn more about their people, culture, etc. in order to blend in better and live there, if need be. He'd personally like the challenge. Still approaches everything with a healthy balance of fear, respect, and distance because this is new territory to him.

Although he likes the challenge, that doesn't mean he isn't freaking about the whole situation too. He still has some weird worm in his head. Some of the Forgotten Realms races (tieflings, gith, mind flayers), he knows nothing about, so he has no idea what to expect from them. He doesn't know how magic works in Faerûn and if it's as big of risk as it can be back home. I simply see him as being the more cautious, observant type when he's just starting out in a new land, so he's not as reactive at first. A lot of the freaking out is done internally. Eventually, once he gets comfortable with the companions, he'll open up and be his loud, boisterous self again and show more emotion overall, good or bad. He's trying to get a better understanding of his surroundings before he starts acting on anything, though.

He enjoys spending time with and getting to know the companions, but boy do they all need some serious help.

He picks up every book, letter, and journal that he can find. If it has information, he's taking it and utilizing it. Plus he likes collecting knowledge. He's smarter than people give him credit for.

People first assume he's a tiefling of some sort. He doesn't bother correcting them. If they believe him to be from the area, then that could possibly be used to his advantage. It also would be hard for everyday people to comprehend the whole "I'm from another universe" aspect of his story. He tells the companions eventually but on his own time.

He likes playing chess with Gale while they're traveling as he did with Solas. Tells him that he reminds him of this old friend he used to fight alongside.

He reads Astarion like a book. Not only does he know something isn't right there, but he also does not fall for the seduction routine at all.

On that note, when he recruits Astarion, I can see him picking Astarion up by the back of his shirt like he's a misbehaving cat or something because The Iron Bull can smell an (especially bad) attempt at an ambush from a mile away.

Oh yeah, he's definitely having the time of his life getting to watch the red dragons tear the nautiloid apart at the beginning, but that's a given.

There were other good ideas thrown around, but these were my headcanons specifically and I wanted to post them to my blog. Probably more to come in the future.

[starry-hughes]

"Why do we keep pretending we don't want to kiss each other?"

jack

star’s 1 year celly!

-

the amount of times you and jack almost kissed was a lot. you’d known jack since he moved to michigan. when you got accepted to a college in nyc he asked if you wanted to live with him, even offered to pay for your metro card so you could commute from jersey.

but it was always just jack and (y/n) best friends. jack and (y/n) best friends who everyone mistakes as lovers. jack and (y/n) best friends who probably almost kiss way too much.

the first time was the night after his first goal. he had been so excited. you were waiting in the hall after the game. standing with his parents and brothers as you all waited for jack. his parents asking about your studies when jack came bolting out of the locker room. only he would score his first goal against his brother. he skipped his parents and his brothers, immediately rushing to you as he hugged you. “congratulations,” you mumbled in his ear as he slipped a game puck into your jacket pocket. when he pulled away from the hug, for that brief second, you were both thinking you were going to kiss. jack pulled away, remembering his family next to the two of you.

the second time was a while later, almost two years later, when the devils were on a hot streak. celebrating with drinks after a particularly good game. you were drunk. jack normally had girls surrounding him but tonight, he had you. he had an arm around you, keeping you steady as you drank more. “you doing okay?” he asked laughing a little watching you struggle to find your cup on the table. “peachy!” your face was warm and eyes glassy as you looked at jack. he thought for a second, if he kissed you now would he taste the vodka crans or your lipgloss? you cleared your throat, looking away and pretending you didn’t want to kiss him. at least drunk you had some morals.

jack was home more when he wasn’t playing due to his injury. which was a blessing and a curse. you loved having him around. it was a bit hard though, being around the person you wanted to kiss all the time. luke was at an away game and it was just the two of you. you had shared a bottle of wine. then two. “what happened to that one girl you were seeing? what was her name?” you giggled. “oh, she broke it off because she didn’t like my relationship with you.”

you frowned, suddenly remembering you were in fact, just his best friend. “i hope i don’t cause problems like that all the time for you.” he panicked. “no! it’s not like that, you’re my best friend.” he cringed at his own words. the wine in your glass swirled. “i think i’m going to bed jack.” you stood quickly from the couch, the wine getting to you as you had to steady yourself.

“(y/n) wait.” jack stood.

“why do we keep pretending like we don’t want to kiss each other?” you finally asked. your cheeks were red and you were finally letting out emotions your held back for years. “we act like we don’t almost kiss one a week jack! o-or that we aren’t upset when one of us starts dating someone. i’m sick and tired of it. and if you don’t reciprocate anything then just stop making me hold out hope every time you almost kiss me.”

he looked at you, comprehending all your words. “i can’t live in the same space as you anymore if i’m just going to be waiting on something that never comes. i’ll just move to-”

jack kissed you. he kissed you so hard that it made up for all the times he didn’t kiss you before. he was done pretending. he let his hands run along the sides of your torso before he pulled you in. you subconsciously let your arms wrap around his shoulders and his neck. when jack finally pulled away, he breathed heavily, forehead resting on yours. “i’m done pretending,” he whispered.

[haikyuufanficwriting]

Chapter 8: Ushijima

Prompt: Reader falls asleep on Character’s shoulder Character: Ushijima _________________

Since starting your third year at Shiratorizawa Academy, you can’t remember the last time you’ve gotten a proper amount of sleep.

Much less sleep in general.

Being in such a prestigious school, of course the workload would be bigger than any average high school. You just didn’t expect to be struggling this hard.

Back in middle school, you remember being levels above your peers. Maybe it was the hours your parents spent drilling you at home, or just natural talent, but you’re pretty confident that your reputation half brought you here.

But as you would learn, reputation and talent could only take you so far.

With your house being way too far to walk or bus, your parents allowed you to stay in one of the schools many dorms. While you were ecstatic about your new freedom, it did have some pitfalls.

Pitfalls being that your study habits were only enforced by your parents. So as any normal teenager would, you started to become lazy. And your grades began to slip.

Fortunately for you, there was rule where students had to obtain a certain average by the end of the year, or they would be kicked. That rule definitely blew some smoke up your ass, because during your first and second year, you did your absolute best to keep above that average. Which you did. Fairly well, too.

But entering your third and final year, you were just so tired. All of the motivation and strength seemed to vanish the harder your classes became. You couldn’t understand your subjects, which lead the unhealthy habit of pulling all nighters, trying to grasp the material on your own.

Eventually, your sleeping schedule had become so messed up that you were only powering on coffee and instant noodles just to get through the school day. And like a deadly cycle, certain classes and concepts were harder to comprehend the longer your brain was starved of sleep.  

One example being. Advanced Functions.

For the life of you, you just couldn’t seem to understand anything in that class. No matter how hard you tried to concentrate, tried to focus, it was always in one ear out the other. The textbook seemed so convoluted that it only managed to confuse you further, so studying on your own was a no go.

Needless to say, you weren’t even close to passing this class, and final exams were coming soon. You absolutely needed to do well in this, or else you’d get a letter sent home to your parents, and you can’t even imagine what they’d do to you.

Thankfully, your teacher had the same thought. After class ended, he called you over to his desk.

“I’ve asked a student in this class if they’d be willing to tutor you. I haven’t told them anything about your grades, just that you need some help. They’re available to work with you on Tuesdays in the library. Will that be alright with you?” You manage to keep your face passive and devoid of any emotion. Honestly, you weren’t exactly keen to be tutored, but with your grades this low, you’re really don’t have any other choice other than to throw away your pride and bite the bullet.

“Yes, thank you Sensei, that would be perfect.” You bow and make your exit, having your respectful smile drop the second your face is out of view. You sigh heavily as you made your way to your dorm.

You just hope whoever’s tutoring you can help make sense of this nonsense.

~~

Ushijima was a busy man. Key word was. After losing to Karasuno, the time he needed spend in the gym was significantly less than before. Of course, he went to the gym to practice regularly anyways, working on anything and everything to improve. But, after the coach found out, he told Ushijima to relax and take a break, claiming that he should take this time to rest and relax. Just for a couple weeks, and to take time focusing on his studies.

The only problem was, he didn’t need to focus on his studies. Or relax. He already had highest marks in most of his classes, and stress had never been an issue for him. While most ordinary students could study everything under two hours, he could. While most couldn’t function with five or less hours of sleep, he did. Ushijima had gotten so used to his hectic timetable, that having a huge chunk of it missing was extremely odd to him. Like he didn’t know what to do with himself.

“This is your time to find a hobby, Wakatoshi-kun.” Tendou had told him, to which he only tilted his head in confusion.

“But I do have a-”

“One that isn’t volleyball.” That made him pause. A hobby… That wasn’t volleyball?

Was there really anything?

If there was, he couldn’t think of one.

“How do I find a hobby?” He asks, causing Tendou to hum.

“You gotta try different things out. See if you like it or not.” Ushijima nods, absorbing the advice. It was good advice, but it did bring up an important question.

What’s one thing he could try?

That stuck with him, circling his head for the rest of the day. There seemed to be too many and none all at once. Even if he did find some that seemed interesting, which would he do first? Could he do multiple at once to become more efficient? What if he liked a new hobby but had to stop due to his schedule becoming normal again? If that’s a possibility, what was even the point of trying to find something new?

Ushijima was close to exploding with all the questions that he couldn’t answer and was about to call Tendou again for help, at least until his advanced functions teacher called him to his desk.

“Ushijima-kun, I need your help with something. There’s a student in this class, (Name), who needs a little help understanding the material. Since your season is over and you’re fairly good at the subject, do you think you could help her out?”

As if the gods heard his cries for help, an opportunity had dropped on his lap. But did tutoring count as a hobby? It seemed like a commitment too…

‘You gotta try different things out. See if you like it or not.’ Tendou’s words ring in Ushijima’s head. Well, if he had to try different things out, this seemed like a good start. With the thought being the final push, he agrees with a solemn nod.

“I don’t have a problem with it.”

~~

You jerk awake from the bell ringing loudly in your ear. You confusedly look around to see students getting up and collecting their items around you, signaling in your brain that you must’ve fallen asleep in class again, and you slept through yet another lecture.

Guess I’ll be staying up late again…

You yawn, standing and picking up your bag before making your way out of the class, about to go the cafeteria, at least until you feel your phone vibrating in your pocket.

Was someone calling you?

Confused, you pull it out to hear a soft alarm and text across your screen in dark bold letters reading ‘Tutoring today at the library!’ causing your eyes to widen. You had completely forgotten about it! You let out a slur of curses as you rush up the stairs to the library, hoping that you didn’t make your tutor wait too long.

Practically slamming the library door open, you speed walk to the study area of the library, searching the students that littered the desks, seeing if you recognized anyone from your class. You stand there for a couple minutes longer than necessary, with your extremely heavy eyelids making it considerably difficult to scan peoples faces, but after not seeing anyone at first glance, you start to walk around the area. You don’t know how much time passes until someone calls out to you.

“(Name)-san.” The deep voice makes you jump far harder than it should’ve, with you almost dropping your school bag. You collect yourself as fast as you could and turn your head to the sound, finding none other than the star of the school.

Ushijima Wakatoshi.

Your brain blanks as you continue to stare at him, your mind too tired and too shocked to put together sentences. After a couple minutes of silence, he tilts his head, clearly waiting for your response. That manages to kick your brain into gear.

“Wakatoshi-san.” Your voice is meek, and your face flushes at how stupid you sound. If Ushijima sees your cringe, he doesn’t acknowledge it.

“I’m glad I found you. I thought for a moment you had forgotten about our session.” His comment confirms your suspicions, but it only manages to disorientate you further.

You just never would’ve assumed that the Ushiwaka, the ace and captain of this powerhouse school, was wasting his time tutoring you. You mean, you’re not entirely surprised he was picked to help, he was one of the smartest in your class, (You’re fairly certain he’s a robot, how could someone be so good at everything?) but you just thought he would be way too busy to help anyone.

You also thought with his personality he wouldn’t want to help anybody. Honestly, you’re just confused as to why he even agreed to help you at all. Maybe to put it on his resume?

You don’t know, you assumed that being a prodigy in sport was enough, but you digress.

“Come, I’ve already set up a table.” He motions you to follow him, and with a soft ‘alright’, you follow him to a more secluded part of the study area, with a single desk surrounded by bookshelves, each stocked to the brim with dusty old books. On the desk was you assume his study books and utensils neatly organised. Of course he was a neat freak.

You sit in the chair just across from his, feeling your body almost go limp in exhaustion the second you sit down. You wait until he settles himself and opens one of his books. Your brain once more begins to fail you as you stupidly watch him flip through pages, basically falling asleep with your eyes open. You don’t even realize until you hear a sharp knock on the table.

“(Name)-san?” The voice suddenly comes into focus and you snap up. “Y-yes?”

“Aren’t you going to pull out your books?” Ushijima asks, face stoic as ever. You stutter out a slightly slurred reply as you open your school bag and search for your books.

Only to not find your math books, but your biology books. You scrunch your nose in confusion. It takes your brain a couple of seconds to realize what you did.

You switched your books on accident.

Oh, how badly you want to curl up and cry right now.

Not only was it embarrassing to have one the most popular boys in school tutor you, but to also act like a total ditz was almost too much for you to take. It’s almost like the gods want to mess with you for shits and giggles at this point.

You have to slowly put your bag down, and look back to your tutor, who’s been staring at you for the past few minutes now.

“Wakatoshi-san, I just realized I brought the wrong books by accident. I’m sorry but I’ll have to go back to my dorms to get the right ones.” You give him what you hope is an apologetic smile and begin to stand up, until his voices rings in your ear once more.

“That’s not necessary.” You pause.

“Excuse me?”

“We’ve already wasted enough time as it is. I have no problem sharing my books for this session.” With that he pulls out the chair right next to him and offers the seat.

You’re pretty sure almost every girl would kill to be in your position right now. You can’t stop the blush that forms on your tired face.

“Oh-uh… ah, thank y-you.” You finally managed to get out, wanting to slap yourself subconsciously as you take the seat next to him. The second you sit down; your overworked brain is hit by so many things at once.

He smells nice. Like really nice. You definitely wouldn’t mind curling up to that. Not to mention, his warmth.

You can feel the warmth coming off him in waves.

Sleeping next to that would be so comforting…

You’re snapped out of your thoughts again when you hear a textbook being slid over to you. If you were a little more awake then you are now, you would realize how intimate this was. Sharing a book caused you to be a lot closer than necessary, but of course with you being sleep deprived and Ushijima being Ushijima, neither of you commented.

“So, what are you having troubles in?��� He asked, and you go to answer, only to be met with emptiness.

You were so confused; you didn’t even know what you were confused about. You mentally kick yourself. That’s a new low.

Of course, not wanting the captain to know how much a dumbass you were, you responded, “The first couple chapters really messed with me.” Which isn’t a lie, you just didn’t mention the rest of the chapters that messed you up as well. He nods and goes to the beginning. Then begins to explain the main concepts of the chapters.

“A polynomial function has specific characteristics that define them from another other kind of function. With those characteristics being a domain of real numbers, a possibility of the range being restricted by both upper and lower bounds, and these functions do not have horizontal…”

You hear his words turn into nothing but mixed sounds as he continued to explain. As much as you tried to focus, you feel your eyelids becoming impossible heavy. You were trying, you really were, even pinching yourself ever once in a while and biting the inside of your mouth as hard as possible, but with Ushijima’s voice this low and soothing, you were fighting a losing battle. You didn’t expect that when he wasn’t scaring you out of sleep, that his voice was actually extremely nice to listen too.

Not to mention his unexpected but totally welcomed comforting aura, his warmth, his smell and the quiet atmosphere, they were all begging you to let go and leave the realm of the conscious. While you were too busy fighting the war, Ushijima was too focused on the book and pointing out examples that he didn’t even realize.

You only manage to last a couple more minutes, until you see nothing but long awaited black.

~~

“…Then there’s quartic, quintic, so on and so forth. There are polynomials bigger than these, but the likely not to appear on the exam so we don’t have to cover them. Between these main five functions there are subdivision that we can also use to characterize them, for example-” Ushijima is cut off by a warm pressure falling on his arm. He turns confused to find you, positively knocked out and now using his arm as a pillow. His thought process is cut off.

Well this is… a development.

Ushijima figured you were tired. In fact, he had known for a long time, that you weren’t getting the sleep you needed. Just a quick glance in class, or talking to you, your slurred speech and heavy eyes, made it easy for anybody to figure out. However, he didn’t think it was to the point of passing out anywhere and everywhere.

He’d be impressed if he wasn’t inherently worried.

He been around people who were sleep deprived, previous senpais and enthusiastic kouhai’s who couldn’t get enough of volleyball, and it does terrible things to brain. Once it had been the point of someone ending up in the hospital.

Ushijima watched you with worried thoughts swirling his mind, as you had a look of absolute comfort on your face, even sleepily nuzzling your face into his arm, which caused him to stare at you a couple seconds above normalcy.

His slightly weird stare was cut off by the bell, which did put his thoughts back into gear. What was he supposed to do? Wake you? Call a teacher?

Well, one things for sure, he couldn’t just leave you here.

So, seeing this as the best course of action, he attempted to wake you.

“…(Name)-san…” He said gently, nudging you with the arm you were sleeping on, you made some sounds of discomfort, before rubbing you nose into his arm again and falling back to sleep.

It was almost cute. Almost.

“(Name)-san.” Ushijima says with a little more finality, which does cause you stir a little more, even causing you to open your eyes a little, but he could tell you were far from awake.

“She’ll be right with you.” You breathe out, which does make Ushijima lips quirk up the tiniest bit.

“(Name)-san, you have to wake up.” He’s reached his regular loudness now, hoping that he wouldn’t have to raise it higher to get you to wake. Thankfully, you manage to open your eyes fully, but is was safe to say that you weren’t completely conscious. You were almost like in a drunken state, with your pupils blown wide and the dazed expression you wore. Looking at you, Ushijima then decided what he needed to do. He couldn’t possibly let you go to class like this, not when you needed something so vital to the brain.

He grabs you by the shoulders to bring your head off him, making sure you don’t wobble too much. Once he’s sure you won’t bang your head on the table, he gets up and starts to collect your things.

“Hm? Is the session over?” You slur, eyes have lidded as you watch him pick up your bag.

“Yes.”

“Did I do well?” You ask with a tired smile, clearly not remembering what happened. Or what didn’t happen. For reasons even he didn’t know, Ushijima decides to humor you.

“Yes.” You raise your arms in the air in happiness, letting out an excited ‘yay!’ in a shushed voice, which Ushijima is extremely grateful for, as he didn’t want to cause a ruckus in the library.

He turns back to you. “Can you stand?” His question turns your mood for some reason, and you huff like a child. “’Course I can stand! Who d’you take me for?” And very quickly, as if to prove your point, you stand from your seat, only for your mind to spin and knees to wobble. Out of reflex to stop you from falling, Ushijima grabs your waist to steady you.

You two stand like that for a while, with your bodies a lot closer than they should’ve been. After what felt like an eternity, you break out into a goofy yet proud smile.

“See? Told ya I could stand.” Ushijima face is passive at best and remains silent. Only giving you a nod while he grabs his stuff along with yours as you two make it out of the library. He holds onto your waist to make sure you don’t fall when walking, but when he secures that you can walk, albeit a little slow, he still doesn’t let go. Walking through the halls and out to the dorms you both we’re met with a lot of stares. And whispers.

Not that either of you noticed.

After he’s exited the school and begins to walk to the girl’s dorms.

“What is your dorm number?” Ushijima asks, for you to snap out of whatever trance you were in.

“Uhhh… red… I think…” He looks at you, visibly confused.

“What?” You look at him back, clearly trying to think through the mess that was your brain.

“Wait… What did you ask me?” Ushijima has to keep in a sigh.

“Your dorm number.”

“Oh… That’s… Uhh… four…thirty-one.” You say.

“(Name)-san, there’s only two floors.” You two now stand in the front of the girls’ dorms, and since it was lunch hour, the likelihood that someone would be there, was considerably low, which did save Ushijima the explanation. You try to articulate a proper answer, but your brain this melted, Ushijima didn’t really have high hopes. So instead, he let go of you for a second, to read the names on the lists of the many mailboxes that littered the entrance hall. After a couple minutes, he found your name.

“208.” He says. Not even close. He watches the look of realization appear on your face.

“Ohhh, yeah that’s right!” He doesn’t hold back the sigh this time, grabbing your hand, and bringing you up to your dorm. Surprisingly, the dorm is unlocked, but you must’ve forgotten to lock it this morning when you left. He opens it and leads you in. You just follow in after him and just stare, clearly not knowing what to do.

Ushijima drops your things on your desk and takes you and sits you on your lower bunk bed.

“You should stay here and rest. You don’t have to worry about your next class, I’ll go and tell your teacher that you’re not feeling well.” He tells you, but like before, you just stare at him, telling him its just going in one ear and out the other. Out of the corner of his eye, he’s spots a random notepad and pencil. Ushijima turns away from you and takes the notepad and pencil.

“I’ll just write this down for you, so you can read it when you are in a correct state of mind. I hope you can learn to have a proper sleep schedule, it’s extremely vital to your health and not sleeping is actually- ” When he turns to you again to place the note, he finds you just as before. Knocked out on your bed, not even lifting your legs from the ground.

Ushijima watches you again for more than he cared to admit, before taking his stuff and leaving your room.

And to think he just wanted to try something new…

~~

You slowly open your eyes, to find yourself on your bed and still in uniform. You sit up, confusion hitting you hard.

How did I get here? What day is it? What time is it? How long did I sleep for?

You started panicking a little, at least until you spot a piece of folded paper on your nightstand. Curious, you open it.

(Name)-san, you fell asleep during our session, and I didn’t feel it was acceptable to leave you, so I brought you back to your dorm. I told your teachers that you weren’t feeling well, so please feel free to relax and rest. I strongly recommend that you get a proper sleep schedule, as what you are doing is dangerous.

We’ll continue our tutoring next Tuesday, hopefully you should feel better by then.

Ushijima Wakatoshi

You might just have cardiac arrest.

[oneforthemunny]

could i request a fluffy blurb of rockstar eddie taking sephy on her first holiday when shes a baby 🥹

ofc love <3 anything for you!!

"She's a tiny little thing, ain't she?" Wayne hummed, cradling his granddaughter in his arms, propped up on his thighs so he could look at her.

Persephone was two months now, still tiny and growing into her features, but old enough she didn't do the little newborn scrunch. When she'd stopped, it had made Eddie unexplainably emotional. He'd pouted all day with her in his arms, moping about how she "was growing up too quick already".

The vacation had been Eddie's idea. To go out to the Laguna Beach house, not too far but away enough for privacy. Out of the city and out of your house, where you'd cooped yourself up for the first few weeks of being new parents. Both of you were too scared to take her out, the paparazzi alone made Eddie want to keep her inside, and the car was a whole other thing. Yet somehow you'd agreed to go a few hours up the road, the first car ride with baby Seph, and with Wayne of course. He'd agreed far too easily to come stay with you for a while, help the two of you out while you adjusted.

"She's gained a pound." Eddie said proudly, beaming from his place by the open windows, the soft crashing of the waves was lulling Persephone to sleep after her feeding. It must've sounded like her sound machine at home because she'd gone down so easily.

"Lookie there." Wayne beamed at you, eyes crinkling and shining when they met yours. "Told ya she'd be alright."

You had a brief panic a few weeks ago, worried that Persephone was too small, that she wasn't growing the way she should. Wayne assured you babies went through it, and why you trusted him, your nerves never settled. Until the doctor proudly announced that she's started to gain some weight. Just a pound but still, it was a victory to you.

"She eats enough I'm surprised it wasn't more." You giggled, looking down at your baby girl with pure adoration. The tiny faces she'd make even while sleeping- God, she was such Eddie's child. She was getting more expressive every day, wide eyes that would look around, just watching and taking in everything.

"Think she likes the sound of the water." Wayne nodded, thumb caressing her little fat cheek, grinning when she curled into his touch.

"Yeah," Eddie agreed, walking behind you, hugging you to his chest sweetly. You leaned back into him, your own hand finding his arm, stroking it gently.

"I'll go put her in her crib," Wayne stood slowly, shushing Sephy when her face crumbled, clearly upset about the movement.

"I got her." Eddie said quickly, stepping to take her from Wayne. "We're about to go unpack anyways, so I can put her in there."

Wayne nodded, a final look at his granddaughter before he passed her to Eddie gently, moving his hands so he supported her head. "If the two of you are gonna be a while, I'm gonna lay down." Wayne stretched slightly. "That drive was brutal."

You smiled, padding behind Eddie. "I think that's a good idea. The chef should be here later to make dinner. We'll see you later, Wayne." You went one way following Eddie and Wayne went the other.

Only, the two of you didn't sleep. Even two weeks ago, you would have been passed out on top of each other the second she was asleep, far too exhausted to do anything else. Now, maybe it was routine or comfortability, but you had grown used to not napping all the time. More well rested.

Persephone laid between the two of you, both of you watching her sleep. Every tiny baby yawn or stretch or squeak in her sleep had the two of you looking at each other, melting in adoration.

"Sometimes I just look at her, and it's like I can't even comprehend she's real." Eddie muttered, his finger tracing down the tufts of hair on her head, so soft and downy. "Like we made this. You carried her inside of you and now she's like a real thing that's here. Moves and breathes and eats and all."

You giggled lightly, reaching your own hand out to touch him, scratching at his scalp. "And poops and cries and bites my nipples off." You added playfully.

Eddie snorted in amusement, looking up at you. Your heart skipped, his eyes so sweet, so full of love that you thought you might melt under them. "You're fucking amazing, you know that?" Eddie muttered. "The best. Better than I deserve."

"Don't say that." You blushed.

"It's true. I never deserved you but now... You're so out of my fucking league it's not even funny. On a different level." Eddie admitted, his own hand reaching out to cradle your face.

You nuzzled into his touch, the ocean behind him making the most gorgeous scenery. Serene and peaceful and exactly what you needed to relax.

"You know you had a part in making her too." You gave him a pointed look. "Takes two."

"Yeah, but I had the easy part. You did all the heavy lifting." Eddie scoffed gently. "And I can't thank you enough. I really can't. You're just... you're the best person I've ever known." Eddie's eyes shined when they met yours, his jaw clenching with emotion. "And I've known a lot of people."

"And I'm the best?" You choked out, your own eyes watering. You'd blame it on your hormones still raging, though you knew better. Eddie always made your sappy and sweet like this, for no one else but him.

"The absolute fucking best. No competition." Eddie grinned. "I love you."

"I love you." You whispered back, leaning in over Persephone's head. He kissed you sweet, tender, much slower than he would have in his earlier years. It was all gnashing teeth and mean kisses to prove who was more in control. Not now, now he took his time, kissed you like you were his lifeline. To him, you were.

Eddie ended up opening the windows, sitting with Persephone on the balcony later when she was awake. Her in his arms, pushed against his chest so she could watch the water. You didn't have the heart to tell Eddie it all looked like blobs to her, so you sat next to him, head on his shoulder while he babbled away to her. The breeze from the water wrapped around you, comforting and thick, it made you relax finally.

[ravilson23]

The Full Moon ep is finally here! Warning, this post has a ton of spoilers.

I think it may be the best episode of the second season. Though i feel like its still nowhere near as good as ep 6 and 7 of the first one. I like the starting song, the contrast is good and the emotions of characters are clear. Its also a nice set up.

I especially love how everyone interacts with each other in this episode. Moxxie and Blitz seem like friends and their talk about sex is hilarious cause of Moxxies attitude. "Fuck him good, sir " was a brilliant line only because he was the one to say it. He seems too proper for this, maybe too shy. Blitzos good mood and his cackle after teasing Mox was also good to hear. Maybe cause he wasnt offensive this time. Anyway it just brought a lot of joy since its quite some time since they had a moment like this.

Then we have Blitz and his shopping trip. I liked when he went to buy candles. I think it has really shown that for Blitz sex isnt and probably never was about intimacy. He understands mood just as "horny" and honestly its very fitting. Though its not shocking i heve never thought about it . We know he is afraid of intimacy, but i thought about it strictly as an emotional closeness. I didnt think that sex could be so... one-dimensional for him in general.

Next we have cherubs. Tbh i didnt like this part mostly cause i dont think like it changed anything. If they were killed, well that would be awesome especially since i see no reason why it didnt happen already. They had been beaten and yet the I.M.P. has just send them back. Makes no sense, they are assasins and the cherubs are their enemies. Unless cherubs cant be killed without blessed weapons then well its somewhat fine. But still nothing they did was interesting or suprising. It feels like they were there to fill half of the time so the ep wouldnt be too short. Unless its more of a set up. But if so it still was somewhat weak. Maybe as i was so interested in Stolitz i just didnt have enough patience to care about cherubs. The fight was fun though, as was their reaction to Blitzos shopping. I am glad the I.M.P. got a chance to shine too. Especially Moxxie and his bitch line.

So now one last thing left. The ending. Obviously the best part. I loved how confused was Blitz and honestly i think his anger was understandable. After all he had no idea how Stolas felt and how he planned to end their arrangment. Blitz was both vulnerable and safe thanks to their deal, he was in a position of a "plaything" but also didnt have to be emotionally invested. He clearly hates himself, is insecure and generally cant imagine someone truly wanting him. So its not suprising that he reacted the way he did. In a way Stolas once again was the one to decide everything. He started the deal and then ended it. Without talking with Blitz. And to be clear, i dont think its fair to really blame Stolas. He tried his best. But well, they both lack the understanding. Stolas isnt aware that Blitz didnt believe in his love because of his own self-hatred. He now believes that Blitz simply hates Stolas. And Blitz really didnt have time to comprehend anything that happened so he acted harshly and in the end didnt even get the chance to apologise. I would like to also say sth about music in this scene. The fact that it was very emotional right from the beginnig even when Blitz was still in horny mood, it just selled it. It felt like real life when sth is wrong, but u notice it a little too late and then u just kind of crumble, get down from your high way too quickly and get a whiplash. It made it painfull to watch. I didnt cry though i heard many people did.

Anyway i am rather excited to see what will happen next and i really hope the episodes will hold some standard. Cause boy, the second season failed me a little to often.

Thanks for reading, hope u found sth interesting and sorry for any grammar mistakes and such.

[locallixie]

best friends — han

> summary . "used to stick together. You're my best friend, i'll love you forever."

> genre . angst, best friends-to-lovers, best friend!jisung, gn!reader

> warnings . mention of self-harm

(wc) > 1.6k

(taglist) > @jihanlovic

(sunny's note) ☆ i've been so up and down this week, maybe that's why this exist. this is the last post before july, happy pride by the way! inspo from "You Got Me So High" - The Neighbourhood.

When did the air got so tense between the two of you? You and Jisung has been friends for years, best friends even. Though it was perfectly logical for you to feel upset, when he showed up out of the blue after five years of ghosting you. Five whole years, he got you waiting and begging for a reply on the other line, just to find out that he fled to elsewhere.

Regardless of what he did, you agreed to meet him to catch up on things. But maybe it was a bad idea, you didn't know how to start a conversation, and neither did Jisung. What would you talk about to him? 'How have you been?' 'Isn't the weather today so weird?' 'Why did you leave without saying anything?'

"I hope you're not mad at me, for what happened between us." Jisung said, his eyes were on the floor since he couldn't bring himself to face you. He was not the best at dealing with serious situations like what was unfolding now.

You nodded, "Don't worry, I'm fine." No, you were disappointed, were absolutely furious. But you had to save face, and blowing up on him was not going to solve anything. When Jisung left, your entire group fell apart. As if he was holding them together, because Jisung was close to everyone and was a vital part. So when he decided that he have had enough with all of you, everyone began going on their own ways as well. Only a few you still kept in contact with, remained friends.

"The past is in the past." You told, your fingers digging into the glass surface of your drink.

"[Y/N], even if you are, it's fair, I understand." Jisung added. He knew, he knew it all that back then he shouldn't have left so sudden. And he knew, to ease his mind that would not rest; he had to mend things with the people he had once caused pain. Starting with you, the hardest person out of everyone. You weren't a terrible person per se; it was just that you were mentally straining for him to face. Especially after what he had done to you.

You meant too much to him, too much to bear for a fact. Everything, everything ached inside. His emotional unavailability, your romantic feelings; they didn't seem to mix. At night, he stayed up with his head filled with regrets. If only he could have been a better person for you, if only his dumb self could accept the love you gave him, if only things didn't end this badly. Was he too late already? Now that he was living better without you, it felt wrong to say so. Oh, he wished he could have been this version of himself when you two were still friends. Yet, as much as he hated to admit; he couldn't have progressed if he chose to stay. Maybe it was all written in the book; that he had to go on his own for the story to continue.

Jisung almost wished that you didn't say 'I love you' back then, all of this mess wouldn't have happened; and maybe you two could remain as friends. But no, he was so overjoyed when you asked him out—simply because you were his first relationship. Though there were doubts, he was afraid of something that he couldn't quite grasp just yet. Feelings stood in the way of friendship, no longer friends, but he couldn't comprehend the fact that you two were lovers either.

"How are the others? Have you been talking to them?" Jisung switched topic, an attempt to push away his emotions. Flashing a smile, forcefully, to the point where his facial muscles felt a bit sore.

You changed the direction of your gaze, sipping your drink as you gazed at the scenery out in the window. "I've only been talking to Felix, I'm not sure about the rest."

"Well, is he doing fine then?" He kept going, he wasn't in a good mental state to talk about 'us' right now. However, the more he tried to deviate from the main topic and his feelings with other trivial matters, they came for him when he began to notice how much changes happened in the duration of his absence. Even you, whom he thought he knew well, didn't feel like the you from his hazy memories. You talked differently, dressed differently, acted differently. Not anymore, the you he once fell in love with, the you he called his best friend. Who was this person sitting in front of him?

The atmosphere has never been as awkward as it was in this moment; he was trying not to cry and you were hesitating at addressing the actual problem. You didn't want to hurt him, though, you were denying the fact that he hurt you. Han Jisung disappeared and came back another person, you hated that you still would love him regardless of how much he may change.

"Felix is doing fine, you should give him a call sometime, I'm sure he would love to speak to you." You told, turning your eyes on him.

"What have you been up to, Jisung?" Asked, shifting the spotlight over to him. You were curious of where he went after leaving, he definitely had a glow-up from how much more attractive he became.

You could tell that he learned to take care of himself, developed a sense of style. But you saw right through that shell, after everything, he was still there. The boy you loved before, sitting across from you and chatting with you, as if none of the things that tore you apart ever existed.

A week ahead of this meet-up, he had a dream. Where you were there, in a house party full of people. As soon as he spotted you, his feet gravitated towards your direction. However, in a split second, he physically hesitated. Despite how much his heart yearned for you, his mind couldn't bring itself to be rejected. Maybe it was a way of self-defence, to further maintain the silence, keeping himself away from you was the best option. Much rather he would stay quiet, until you forget about him entirely so you wouldn't get hurt once again.

Though, he didn't know what happened. Because he did approached you, and being face-to-face with his fear was terrifying. That was a sign, dreams were suspected to convey messages of our waking life. He had to, so much regrets and distress had built up throughout the long, lonely years about the same subject, make amends with his best friend—you.

"I missed you, [Y/N]." Jisung blurted out, his eyes glossy as he tried to look at you. His true dream was to be with you.

He couldn't stop thinking about you when he left, and he wondered, did you ever think of him too? Jisung despised himself for one thing, that deep down inside he wanted to see you miserable without him. If you were absolutely shitty when he wasn't in the picture, he would gladly come back to regain the position of the light of your life. But as he matured, he realized that he was the problem. Once making you the antagonist of his story, and everyone else treated him terrible. In actuality, he was the most toxic person. Abuser never really notice their actions to be abuse, guess he was the wolf in sheep's clothing all along. How could he?

Keeping a conversation going was never as difficult as it was for the two of you, there was just this invisible wall of sort that created distance between you and Jisung. The rain had stopped for a bit, hopefully you could get home by the time it start again.

"Do you have a ride? Or I can drive you home." Jisung offered, gesturing to his parked motorbike by the sidewalk.

"Wouldn't it rain soon?" You asked.

"It would be more fun." Jisung smiled, guiding you to his vehicle. You glanced down at his forearm, the scars of the past was still there and has yet to fade completely. You remembered, crying and begging him to not do anything stupid when he walked in with his arms all wrapped in bandages. Seeing them once more was strangely relieving, you were glad that he had chose to stay.

For old times' sake, you got on the back of his motorbike. You used to be the one driving, while he held onto you as you brought him sight-seeing. One time where he received a call from you, just minutes after you bid him goodbye and drove away; caught him off guard when you started crying because you fell off your motorbike on the side of the road. He didn't know what to do, why didn't you call your mom or the hospital instead of him? He was worried sick and was miles away from where you were. Your youth were filled with him, in a way, your friendship was all you knew.

You hugged his waist, leaning your body against his back as you rested your head on his shoulder. Things felt slow, with Jisung around and it was a comatose. If only this moment could last a little longer, and your destination was a little farther. You would absolutely trade anything to have things back to how it used to be—Jisung would happily do the same. As scared as he was to reconnect with you, he desperately wanted and needed to, because he treasured you too much.

You spoke up into the summer breeze, "You know what, Jisung? I am upset, and I hate you! What are you going to do about that?" You didn't want him to come back into your life, just to cause you pain. Both has grown from mistakes, both has came into terms that you and him has hurt one another.

"You're my best friend, [Y/N], I'll love you forever!" Jisung beamed, the gummy and bright smile whenever he think about you.

[baldurs-gate-official]

Ok I just need to vent for a sec because I finished my Romanced/non-ascended Astarion run and gosh

As someone who suffers from severe PTSD... this means a lot to me. I've seen so many characters in media with PTSD where the condition isn't taken seriously/written poorly, or the only 'happy ending' they get is death.

But this... This is nice. The life I've lived is abnormal. I don't talk about it much because most people either wouldn't believe it, or might feel bad just for hearing it. I've survived torture, starvation, attempted murder, and I'm only just coming out of a lifetime of that. I was trapped for ages. Years. So many years. It's made it hard to trust people, or feel genuinely cared for. And being able to play a character on the other side of that, as someone confronted with a person traumatized and tasting freedom for the first time... and being able to help them, despite the difficulties, and get them to a place of safety and happiness is... I don't even know what word to use. It makes me feel hopeful, in a way. Seen. Understood a little.

And his reaction to freedom and safety! While it's not exactly like my own, it's so close. And I've never seen that feeling represented before. Safety is terrifying! Trusting people is terrifying! It feels impossible to believe anyone would genuinely stick with you while you work it all out.

When you go through a life of trauma, there's no such thing as safety. You get so used to the danger that going without it is the most terrifying thing in the world. Your brain and body can't comprehend that there isn't a threat. Before I escaped my situation, I knew there was always danger. I was always prepared for it, I was used to it, and knew how to tell when and how I needed to react. Being scared is familiar. It's a crutch, almost. The fear keeps you alert and alive. But... when the source of that fear is gone, you're left with this horrible feeling that the danger hasn't passed - you just can't see where it's coming from or what shape it'll take.

It's numbing. But a weird numbness. You flip between that and deep periods of, 'Oh fuck oh god, all of that really happened and now I have to pick up the pieces and live with it'.

Seeing someone else going through that, and being able to say the things I wish someone would tell me (and not even realize I needed to hear it until after) feels so good in the most aching way possible.

And the Cazador scene! There's one part at the start that hits so hard:

That last line is everything I wish I could say to my own parents. I was punished for everything. Anything I did was an excuse to hurt me, even something as simple as showing an emotion or reacting to the pain. But when I escaped it all, and my father tried to pull me back, he tried to frame it like he'd done it all for my own good. That I was the one at fault, and failed despite his best efforts to 'help' me.

I wish I had the courage to yell those words at him, instead of trying to keep peace and make myself meek. "Fuck you and fuck everything you've ever done to me". I feel that in my soul. I want to scream it at him until my lungs hurt and I can't breathe.

And his ending... He can't stay in the sun anymore. It hurts him. It'll affect him for the rest of his life. But he has someone who cares for him, who will stay with him despite that, who doesn't view it as a hindrance. I can't even describe how that makes me feel. I have wounds from what was done to me that will never truly heal, and until now I've always thought of it as a flaw that would make me unlovable. As odd as it is... Him not being able to go in the sun makes it an even happier ending for me? Yes, it hurts and it sucks. But... He's not alone. Part of him believes you'll leave him now that he's confined to the shadows. Proving him wrong feels like a final affirmation that, yes, you're really staying with him. It's real, and he won't be alone. Everything will be okay, despite the pain.

Anyways thanks for coming to my traumadump. I really wish Larian would give us more opportunities to hug Astarion.

[ashleyh713fanfics]

Dazai X Odasaku!Sister Ch6 and Ch7

Double Post:

Chapter 6: "Why Don't We Go On A Date?"

Chapter 7: "As Long As I Have You In My Life"

Summary: After Dazai's horrifying discovery that he is Odasaku's sister's "lifeline" and "only tie to her brother" the boy tries to give her something more permanent than a sad suicidal mistake like him.

Warning: pm! fifteen year old dazai, Dazai self destructing Odasaku death mentions, mention of torture/cruel training, manipulative behavior from both sides, underage drinking, talks of suicide. I gave Oda's sister a name but you can imagine it as y/n.

(This is chapter six and seven of my fanfic "Timeless" which is now on A03. It carries on from the three part intro I posted a couple days ago. I'll link it below to fully understand the story. Asagao's ability is to stop time for up to six seconds.)

Three Part Intro Here: (just cause the first chapter is so long)

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

A03 Version Here:

Word count: 10k total

Chapter 6:

Osamu..I think you’re a good man. 

Six little words, six little words brought his entire world to a stand still. 

The foolishness of them danced across Dazai’s brain over and over again trying to decipher anything and everything about them only to come up empty. He couldn’t comprehend them, he couldn’t form them into reality no matter how hard he tried. 

So much so, that time passed by in a millisecond, Dazai staring at absolutely nothing, not present in the world at all. 

The bustling laughter of children as they made their way to school, the soft music from the speakers of the nearby shops, the feeling of a soft breeze across his features, none of them registered inside his brain. 

The only thing that did was the weight on his back, both emotional and physical as Asagao’s form slept motionless, unaware of the malfunction she had ushered by saying those six stupid, foolish and dangerous words. 

Just then, his phone started to sound inside his pocket only for the executive to finally look down and pull the object out, the move causing Asagao’s lips to let out a disgruntled groan in the process in order to shift the back of her head further across his shoulder. 

Answering the call, Dazai then heard a very familiar voice, pissed off per usual. “Hey Dazai! Where the hell are you!? I’ve been waiting for you to start this raid for three hours! You better get your sorry ass over here right now before I kick ya into next week, you hear me?!” 

At that, the boy’s eyes couldn’t help but flash with realization. Oh yeah, that’s right. Chuuya and him were supposed to raid a rival organization's hideout today. 

You see, the thing was, that whole little plan had slipped his mind because it was so utterly unimportant to him in every possible way. 

So much so, the bandaged menace lifted an eye in amusement. “Oh yeah, I decided I’m not coming! I got more important things to do. So do your best in my place, kay?” 

Lifting the phone away from his ear, he then waited as Chuuya’s voice shouted straight through the speaker, peaking the audio from how close he was to the device. “Ha?! You’ve gotta be fucking kidding me! You can’t just ditch!! What the hell do you gotta do instead?!” 

Dazai then put a finger up to his lips before humming back teasingly. “So nosey Chuuuya, are you jealous?” 

Almost immediately, the hot headed boy replied, disgusted by the notion. “Why the fuck would I be..! 

Yet that’s when the mafioso smirked before reaching forward in order to wrap his fingers around one of Asa’s crimson strains of hair hanging by her back in order to speak suggestively. “If you must know, I’m spending my day with a beautiful woman. So now you see why I can’t be there for your little raid. I’m already gonna have my hands full with something else.” 

The way he spoke those words, it was like he was implying something. Like he had just found another whore to sleep with and break for his own pleasure. And although that wasn't the case this time, Dazai knew that Chuuya would make the incorrect connection for him. 

And a moment later, the idiot man did just that. “You sick bastard! I swear to god I’m gonna..” 

Dazai only cut him off though, satisfied with the rage he had incurred before cheerfully replying back in a devious tone. “Oops! Seems like there's a bad connection. Gotta go, Chuuya! Now go be the good dog you are and capture that organization for me! Kay, byeee!” 

Then before he could interject, the brown haired mafioso quickly hung up the phone before throwing it into the grass with a large sadistic smile.

Ah, that was better. Nothing like Chuuya’s idiot thinking to snap him back to reality. 

Glancing back towards the sleeping Asagao, Dazai then lifted his hands up in order to physically push her head off of his shoulder only for the girl to groan in irritation, still not awake yet. 

Dazai then turned his body only for Asa’s head to fall onto his lap instead, the sudden warmth causing her to snuggle deeper only for the boy to tense at the sudden contact. Did this girl have no shame? She was just cuddling up with a murderer like nothing. 

Forcing himself to relax at the contact, the man then looked at her in exasperation. Damn, this girl slept like a rock. He supposed he’d have to try something else. 

Lifting his hands up, he then slipped his fingers around the large circular frames of her glasses in order to pull them off slowly with hum. “Time to wake up, sleeping beauty. Being so defenseless around a man like me, it’s not a wise decision.” 

She didn’t respond though, causing the boy to then narrow his expression before pressing his forefinger straight in the middle of her forehead roughly and poke the surface only for her to finally flop her eyes open with a whine. “Samu..” 

What was going on? She was so warm, so comfortable. 

Hold on, why was Osamu in her dreams? 

Just then, Asa then seemed to register the situation before she blinked in realization in order to propel her head off of his lap and gasp. “Osu?!” 

Laughing at her confused state, Dazai  then turned his head towards the fumbling girl. “Good afternoon, sweetheart. Glad you could join us today.” 

Asagao was still groggy though, the events of last night not fully registering as she placed a hand to her head. “W-What? What happened? Why was I…” 

Yet Dazai was happy to cut her off, his voice coming out pained and over dramatic as he held his back with a fake little pout. “You fell asleep on me and now my back really hurts. You’re so mean, Asa-channn making me stay here like this. Owwie..It was so uncomfortable!” 

It wasn’t really, but the boy wasn’t about to tell her the real reason why he had stayed complacent the whole time.  He didn’t want her to know that he had malfunctioned beyond basic human understanding. 

That just the mere belief in him had caused the boy to unravel. 

Asa only turned her head though, not really buying his “poor me” act in the slightest. “But you stayed here this whole time? Why didn’t you wake me up?” 

Almost immediately, the girl was confused. She knew Dazai wasn’t a touchy kind of guy, so the fact that he had willingly let her sleep on his shoulder for hours wasn’t in his character. So why had he done it? Why had he allowed such a thing?

And that was the question wasn't it? Why didn’t Dazai wake up, why did such a simple yet foolish statement cause him to lose sight of reality. It was stupid, he was stupid for it. Those words didn’t even mean anything. So why was he so enamored by them all the same?

But of course, he said none of those things, his mind an impenetrable fortress as he only smiled goofily in order to cover up his own conflict. “How could I when you looked so cute?” 

Asa didn’t even blink though, seeing through his facade in an instant. “I’m being serious Osu, you didn’t have to stay here for hours. You should’ve just thrown me off. I’m sure you had something important to do today.” 

That’s what he should’ve done, both of them knew it. Dazai wasn’t the kind of man to just selflessly allow such a thing to happen. Usually he’d just leave them in the grass and abandon them all together.

But this time, for some reason that Asa couldn’t figure out, he stayed. 

Not wanting to talk about such things anymore, Dazai then glanced towards the phone a couple inches away from him before recalling Chuuya’s pissed off reaction. 

And yes, he did have something to do today but letting his partner struggle was way more fun. So maybe this wasn't so bad after all. 

Because of that, the boy simply shrugged before fixing his crumbled black jacket carelessly. “Nothing interesting, but I must thank you, love. You gave me something far more entertaining in return.” 

Not understanding Dazai then watched Asa bat her innocent little eyes and turn her head in return. “And what’s that?” 

Already feeling his lips curve into a smug sadistic smirk, he finished cheerfully. “Why, an opportunity to mess with my favorite dog!” 

In fact, Dazai could already picture the stupid dumbfounded look on Chuuya’s face when he told him that he was ditching. It was music to his ears. Now he couldn’t join the raid, not when he had already gotten such a satisfying reaction from his favorite toy.

And though Asa didn’t fully understand what he was saying, his twisted response didn’t bother her in the slightest. In fact, it was the opposite, the girl thinking he would’ve been pissed after hours of having to be her pillow. 

Brushing the dirt and grass off her skirt, Asagao then pushed her feet to stand before looking out towards the bustling sounds around her. “Well, I’m glad you’re not mad but I guess I should be heading back. I already took up way too much of your time.” 

After this annoying night, the only thing she wanted now was to crawl back in her bed before she died of embarrassment from drooling on her brother’s best friend's shoulder without knowing. In fact, she could already feel the heat emerging to her cheeks at the memory. 

Yet that’s when Dazai paused before glancing towards the girl. “That might not be the best idea, love.” 

Asagao then paused only for the mafioso to grab his phone in order to show her the message he had received just a couple minutes prior. “I had my men stake out the place and it seems like Ango is still there. If you go back now he’ll probably try to drag you back again..” 

Then all at once, she felt her face fall. Oh yeah, Ango. She had forgotten about that stuck up, straight laced, government agent. Damn it, looks like she couldn’t relax like she wanted to now that he was chasing after her again. 

Grumbling to herself, Asa then ran a hand across her face with frustration before shaking her head in exasperation. Just when would he give it a rest? “...Great...looks like I can’t go home after all..” 

She then closed her eyes, trying her best not to show her annoyance before Asa sighed in order to turn back to the bandaged boy with a wave of her hand. “Either way, thanks again, Osu. I’ll let you get back to your illegal activities now.”

Dazai then watched her start to leave, already knowing that she was going to bumble around the city in order to kill time until Ango left. The question was, would she even make it back home with her blurry offset eyesight? Now that was to be determined. 

Just then, last night's events began to play in his mind like some kind of punishment. There was her voice again, mocking him into still silence. 

Osamu..I think you’re a good man.

Just great. First Odasaku was haunting him and now his sister was doing the same. Why couldn’t he get her foolish little statement out of his head? 

It’s not like he was happy about it, it was just a delusion on her part after all. Although now that he thought about it, Asagao seemed to delude herself about everything. 

She deluded herself by hoping that life had meaning, she deluded herself into never looking at the negatives and she deluded herself into thinking her big brother resented her even though it was not true.

But the biggest mistake she seemed to make was picking Dazai to be her constant, her unmovable tangible source of Odasaku’s life. Sure, letters were one thing, they were physical, unchanging, but him? He knew that he wasn’t reliable in that sense. 

Yes, Dazai knew himself better than anyone else. He was fragile and flighty, a flicker in this pathetic life that could burn out with just a slightest blow of air. He was wavering and artificial, and the fact that she had so openly stated that he was her lifeline was something that the boy found incredibly foolish. 

Because he couldn’t give her what she desired, what she needed more than anything. 

She couldn’t ground herself with him, even if she wanted to.

Because Dazai didn’t want to live, he didn’t want to wake up tomorrow and carry on with this joke of a life. And one day he was sure he would succeed in his wish to finally disappear from this world entirely. It was inevitable, and yet Asagao still clung to his physical body simply because she had nothing else to prove Odasaku’s writings. 

And Dazai knew she would be ruined like that, that putting such desperation into an already dead man would result in a cataclysmic detonation beyond human prescription. 

Because of that, the boy felt himself move, reaching forward in order to grasp onto Asagao’s hand and pull her against his chest. “You know, since we are now both suddenly free. Why don’t we go on a date?” 

Asagao only paused though, feeling the warmth from the proximity before turning to look at him in confusion. Did she just hear that right? No, it couldn’t be. “You’re asking me on a date?

Lifting his hands up with excitement, Dazai then spoke back. “Why not! My darling girlfriend has planned two of them already. I think it’s time I do the honors this time.” 

And he thought Asa would jump for joy at that, although it seemed she only stared at him with disbelief, like she couldn’t comprehend what he was saying. “I didn’t think you’d care about that kinda thing..” 

Pouting his lips, Dazai then jumped back from the girl in question before dramatically whining back. “How mean, Asa-chan. How could you say such hurtful things to your boyfriend like that? Did you ever think I just wanna spend some extra time with my cute girl?” 

Once again though, Asa deadpanned, not buying his boy-ish act. “Not really no..”

Gasping at her blunt reply, Dazai then shoved his hand over his heart in order to hunch over like he had been shot. “Ouch. You wound me, love! I don’t know how I’ll ever recover now!”

Although that’s when Asagao simply shut her eyes before giving a heavy sigh in order to turn back to the boy with a light smile. “Osamu, I appreciate the gesture but you know you don’t have to push yourself like that for me. I’ve already bothered you enough by going past our agreement and fell asleep on your shoulder without asking. I couldn't expect more.”

At that, Dazai couldn’t help but pause. Ah, she knew he was going out of his character and pushing himself past what he would normally do. What a clever girl, picking him apart like that. He couldn’t help but admire it.  

And though she was right in a sense, it wasn’t about want or not. It was more of a need. The need to give Oda’s sister something more reliable and tangible then just a sad suicidal boy like him, something that wouldn’t fade from her fingertips without warning. 

Because of that, Dazai simply reached forward in order to hold onto both her hands, a new sparkle in his eyes. “Aww Asa-chan, you’re so sweet for worrying about me. My heart has been restored! And don’t worry about the agreement, just think of this little outing as a freebie!” 

Asagao still didn’t seem overly convinced though, the girl trying to decipher his hidden intentions silently as Dazai smugly smiled. Oh, she was working overtime to get into his head, wasn’t she? Too bad he wasn’t going to reveal this little secret. 

And just as the boy predicted. Asa was stumped. She knew he wasn’t being genuine about asking for a date, that he had some kind of plan underneath it all. Hell, the boy didn’t even care about her, that much was already established. So why all of a sudden had Dazai asked for this strange request? 

She was curious, sure, but Oda’s sister still tried to stay strong, knowing she had already burdened him way too much today. Who cares if he was trying to manipulate her right now into something, their agreement was only about the letters. Nothing else. 

And she had already broken that rule tonight. No, she couldn’t break it any further. 

Yet that’s when Dazai lowered his eyes slowly before adding nonchalantly. “Oh, and did I forget to mention we are going somewhere that has to do with Odasaku?” 

Then all at once, Asagao felt her head immediately snap back to his. Wait, he was going to take her somewhere that her brother visited? Damn it, he knew she couldn’t resist that, not when she had been searching for traces of him all throughout Yokohama. 

Dazai on the other hand was smiling like a fiend, knowing that he had her right where he wanted her. From just the look on her face he knew she was squirming with conflict right now. Just the way he liked it. 

A moment later, Asagao replied, her voice slightly desperate. “Where?”

The mafioso then darkened before pushing a mocking finger up to her lips in order to cut off her curiosity. “Ah ah ah, you gotta say the magic words first. Now, let’s try this again..” 

Pushing his fingers away, Dazai then dipped his head down in a dramatic bow in order to lift his hand out to the girl in question, already knowing she was trapped against a metaphorical wall. “What do you say, love? Will you go on a date with me?” 

And for a moment, Asagao paused, not wanting to give him the satisfaction. But the more the silence clung onto the air, the more her fingers began to fidget and twitch with the idea of finding out more about her brother. 

Then all at once, her resolve faltered before muttering under her breath with embarrassment. “As long as you don’t mind..” 

Yet Dazai only shook his head at the weak attempt, wiggling his fingers in front of her before humming back in dissatisfaction. “I need a yes, love.” 

And then he waited, he waited for the submission that was a guarantee. Yes, Asagao was clever, she read him a million different ways but it seemed he still knew how to get what he wanted. And this time, he would win their little game. 

Taking a heavy breath, Asagao then closed her eyes before lifting her hand out to the devious man in question, already knowing she had lost this round. “Yes, Osamu. I’ll go on a date with you...” 

Although before her fingers could make contact with her hand, Dazai immediately closed the distance before grasping onto her hand with an excited cheer. “Yay! Now that wasn’t so hard, was it? Come on, let’s go!” 

He then shifted his fingers down to her wrist before turning around in order to drag the poor girl down an uncertain path as Dazai beamed happily, pulling his tamed little puppy along the way. 

And with that, he marked another tally in victory. 

Dazai Osamu: 2  Oda Asagao: 1

----

Chapter 7:

Throughout her blurry uncertain vision, Asagao felt her body pulled towards the unknown as she focused on the solid black mass that had consumed her whole world. And whether he realized it or not, the girl slowly felt the outside murmurs and voice disappear into her own mind. 

Because nothing else but him mattered to her.

Osamu seemed to have that effect on her every time she saw them, Asa always desperate to soak in everything about the oblivious boy regardless of the barriers in front of her eyes. His words, his actions, the way he held himself, the cadence in which he spoke, she categorized it all. 

Which was why his decision to take her on this date was so odd. 

Because as far as she knew, Osu wasn’t that kind of man. He was a cruel, manipulative, mafia executive that only did things out of pure entertainment or for some kind of tactical advantage. 

Yes, her brother was different but Asagao knew that the blood in her veins didn’t fully protect her from Dazai’s real character. 

Which was fine. She didn’t care that he was incapable of emotion and kindness. That’s not why she was here in the first place. She wasn’t that simple minded, and the last thing she wanted him to do was force himself out of that box and make him uncomfortable. 

But it seemed that today he wouldn’t take no for an answer which meant that he either had some other intention with their date or he was pushing himself to do something strange for the sake of Oda. 

Sighing to herself, Asagao then paused as her body collided with the mafia executive, not realizing the man had stopped completely. Oh, were they here already? She didn’t recognize this part of town. 

Yet that's when she felt his fingers reach forward in order to snatch the large circular frames from her face, eradicating her safety net as Asa’s eyes widened in fear. What was he doing? She didn’t want to see the world right now. “O-Osam..”

Although before she could protest, Dazai replaced the object with his hands, pushing her back against his chest in order to darken her surroundings before she could have time to process them. 

Then she heard his voice, sharp against her ear. “You’ll want to fully see this, love.” 

Fully see it? No, that was impossible. She didn’t want to see anything, she didn’t want to decipher anything fully. Then she would see the darkness, she would see the cracks in the perfect facade that life displayed. 

Dazai seemed to sense her distress though, his tone teasing as his fingers pressed deeper across her eyes to show her that they weren’t going anywhere. “What’s wrong, don’t trust your boyfriend? Afraid I’m going to hurt you while you’re defenseless like this?”

He was trying to scare her, to intimate her per usual. But if he thought that she was going to crumble between his fingers then he was sorely mistaken. “You know that’s not why..it’s just..my eyes..” 

Asa then heard him laugh in pure amusement before his bandaged arm brushed against hers in order to lift the surface and place it on an unknown doorknob in front of them. “Don’t worry, darling. I got you.” 

Did that mean he was going to keep her eyes covered for her until they got to where he wanted her to see? But what if he slipped up, what if he let go accidentally or for some kind of joke? What he was asking for required a lot of trust, trust from a boy that thrived on sadistic games. 

But even so, Asa complied, her fingers turning open the door as Dazai urged her forward in order for her breath to lodge inside her throat with each step. She had nothing to guide her, nothing but his body to rely on. 

Just then, his fingers found her wrist before lifting them up in order for her to register a railing as the mafioso hummed back into her ear. “Count the steps, love. There are twenty of them.” 

And so she did, the girl gripping around the railing for dear life as she counted each invisible step in her mind, careful not to trip as her back brushed against Dazai’s body in order to ground herself. 

Finally reaching the bottom, Asagao then sighed in relief only to hear him speak once again, the sound causing shivers to run down her spine. “Good girl, here’s your reward.” 

Yet that’s when she felt the safety of his fingers start to disappear from her eyes, causing Asa to gap in horror. Wait, what was he doing? He hadn’t given her glasses back. Was he serious about her seeing this place with her eyes? No, that was too scary. 

Blinding lights then filled her vision, causing the girl to squint before she couldn’t help but freeze at the very sight before her. And in a millisecond, she seemed to forget her own rule about viewing things from a blurry lens. 

Because staring back at her was a small cozy little bar, the atmosphere warm and secluded with rows of stools and the smell of liquor wafting through the air. 

Wait, she had seen this place before. 

Aggressively shoving her hands into her pockets, Asagao then pulled out the picture that Dazai had shown her last night before her eyes couldn’t help but widen with realization in order to lift the photo in front of the place slightly. 

Her assumption was right, it was a perfect match. 

Feeling any response fall silent in her throat, Oda’s sister whispered. “Is this…” 

Dazai finished for her, his hands in his pockets as he looked at the place in nostalgic sadness. “Bar Lupin, where the picture was taken.”

And almost immediately, Asagao felt her throat fill with emotion in order for her vision to blur with tears only for her to immediately blink them away. 

No, she didn’t want to only see the blurry picture of this place. She needed it to be real, to soak in every nook and cranny into it was permanently etched in her mind. 

Now she knew what Dazai had meant by saying she would have wanted to fully see this place without the barriers of her glasses. He was right, he was so incredibly right. This feeling, these physical floorboards under her feet. They felt so real. 

Her big brother had stood in this same exact spot, he had breathed in the same air and had seen the same view. 

Sure, she had been living in his old apartment for some time but Asagao had no proof that he had ever inhabited the place. 

But with the photograph between her fingers, Asagao knew that her mind wasn’t playing tricks on her. Oda was here, and now so was she. The idea was so simplistic and yet it brought her so much joy, her hands unable to stop the shake and smile towards the empty bar. 

Then she turned to the supposedly heartless mafioso before speaking through her tears. “Osamu, this is..thank you..I’m so happy..” 

So this is what he was trying to show her? He must have gotten the idea after hearing her outburst to Ango about not having anything but Osamu to cling to. How sweet, he knew she needed this more than anything. 

He always tried to act so scary but he really was like this, huh?

Dazai on the other hand stared at the empty place in silence as a mix of grief and familiar comfort coursed through him all at once. He had promised himself that he wouldn’t come back after Odasaku's death, and yet here he was all the same. 

The memories, the feelings were all so suffocating, he wished he never felt them in the first place. But this was the only place that Dazai knew Odasaku in, this was the only place that he could give Asagao. Because of that, he had gone against his own wishes. 

At least this place wouldn’t fade like himself, and that was enough for Dazai. 

That’s right, now when Dazai finally succeeded to die, when he left this world he knew that she could wallow her sorrows here, she could find her big brother in these walls. 

Now the boy wasn’t the only physical tie to Odasaku she had. 

Yeah, now he could die with peace again without the guilt of destroying the last piece of his best friend that resided in this shitty little life. Did that make him a good person? He wasn’t sure but this was something he felt like he had to do. 

For Odasaku, and for his precious little sister that the man had left in his fingers. 

Closing his eyes, Dazai then tried to wash away the feeling before settling into his usual seat by the bar in order to wave over the girl in question. “Let’s have a drink, love.” 

He then watched as she complied immediately, slipping into the stool beside him only for an unpleasant deja vu to fill his throat. Without her glasses she looked even more like Odasaku, especially from this angle. 

The bartender turned to him immediately, his tone plain. “What will it be, Dazai?” 

Tapping his fingers onto the top of the table, the mafioso already knew the answer. “Whiskey.” 

Then the boy turned his gaze towards Oda’s sister only to rest his head on the palm of his hand with a slight tease. “Well, what about you, darling? Don’t worry, they have apple juice.” 

He didn’t expect her to actually drink alcohol of course. She was just a fifteen year old girl, hardly old enough for liquor.

And hey, so was he but being in the mafia gave him a free pass. Besides, considering his other crimes, underage drinking was pretty low on the list of immoral behavior. 

Yet that’s when Asa pushed her lips together cutely before pushing her hand up in order to shield her hollow eyes and reply to the bartender. “Make that a double, please..” 

At that, Dazai couldn’t help but raise an eye, not expecting her response.“Ooooh, I’m impressed. But your brother would’ve had a heart attack hearing that.”

And he really would have. In fact, Dazai knew Odasaku would’ve definitely shut down Asagao's request for alcohol. Unlucky for her though, the boy wasn’t that considerate about laws and such. 

What could he say? Ango was right, he was a bad influence. 

Two amber colored drinks then slid into view as Asagao lightly traced her finger around the rim with a hum. “Would he? Then he better not find out that I started years ago.” 

Years ago, huh? Perhaps Asagao wasn’t as good of a girl as he once thought. “How scandalous, Asa-chan. Should I tell Ango about that?” 

At that, he watched her scrunch her nose up in disgust. “And what about you, Osu? You’re the same age as me.” 

Dazai only hummed though, knowing it wasn’t the same. “I’m also a criminal, love.” 

Asagao was silent, like she was processing the words before she threw the entire drink into the back of her throat before whispering bitterly. “Yeah well, so was I.” 

The words were so small and yet Dazai heard every symbol before curiosity and intrigue couldn’t help but take up his entire throat. Now why did she have to say something like that? Now he wanted to pry into her mind and pull out an answer. 

And there were many ways to do it, but none of them were savory in any way. You see, Dazai was skilled in manipulation and exploitation. He could seduce and coax even the strongest willed people. 

So trying to make Asagao talk about her life was as simple as blinking for him. 

It didn't matter if she seemed bothered when Ango brought it up last night. He’d get her to talk about it one way or another. 

Lifting his hand up excitedly, Dazai than beamed towards the bartender before waving. “Two more!” 

And as two more sets of liquor appeared in his vision, the boy simply slid them over to Asa with a fake innocence and a smile. “Go ahead, Asa-chan. And don’t worry about the price, it’s on me.”

He then watched Asagao look down at the new glass before picking up the object between her fingers.

And for a moment, Dazai thought he had succeeded in his bribe.

Although that’s when the girl simply closed her eyes before speaking into the glass plainly. “You know, Osamu. You don’t have to get me drunk. I’ll answer any question you want.” 

At that, Dazai felt himself pause before his smile dropped all at once in order for him to change into his true cruel nature. 

Ah, he should’ve figured it wasn’t gonna be that easy to coax her into his plans. He still wasn’t used to that, having someone that could read him almost instantly like a book. 

Although that’s when he truly processed her words. Wait, did she just say that he could’ve just asked her about her life? Interesting, Dazai had never had that before. Usually they shut him down and he had to resort to dirty tactics. 

How refreshing and yet utterly stupid on her part to open up to a man like him 

Parting his lips to reply, he then watched as Asagao quickly downed the two drinks he had given her anyways, causing his eyes to flash with confusion. 

Hold on, she had already figured out his plans to get her drunk and yet she was still going along with that anyways? What a strange girl. He thought she’d just push the glasses away. 

And with no answer to his intrigues, Dazai couldn’t help but speak back. “Then why are you still accepting it?” 

Pushing the glasses down from her lips, he then watched as Asagao paused before answering with a small smile. “Cause if you think I should be drunk for this conversion then I figured I should take you up on that offer.” 

She still wasn’t looking at him though, and Dazai concluded it was because she still felt uncomfortable because he hadn’t given her glasses back yet. It’s not like he minded though. She was really cute when she hid her face like that, all shy and meek. 

So instead, the boy didn’t speak about it, watching her call for another round of drinks before Dazai started his interrogation now that there was a rosy pink color to her cheeks. “Ango called you a hellhound. ” 

Almost immediately, Asa laughed under her breath before swirling the drink between her fingers. “Ah, so that’s what it is. You were right to order those drinks.” 

Dazai then watched as the girl threw back another shot before speaking distantly, like she was wrapping herself in some sort of memory. “The Hellhounds are an elite level of assassins, brought up from birth to be the perfect tools to those that hold their leash. Oda and I were orphans that were brought up into the same faction but because of my different way I saw the world,I was chosen as a candidate to be a hellhound.” 

Smiling bitterly, Asa then lifted a finger up to her throat before ghosting across the skin. “By age five I knew how to run a knife across someone's throat and put a bullet in their brain without them knowing. My ability allowed quick, precise and clean kills. You could say I was a bit of a prodigy, just like you are.” 

She then pushed, her face falling with unpleasant memories. “But the training..was intense...”

And as Dazai listened to her explanation things started to make sense. He didn’t know much about Odasaku before he joined the port mafia. He knew he was a freelance assassin but that’s about it. It made sense that he got those skills from somewhere. 

But try as he may, he couldn’t see sweet little Asagao as a bloodthirsty prodigy like he was. Sure, she had fought him before but the girl never seemed to intend to kill. 

Unless she was holding back on him this entire time.

 Ah, what a sneaky little princess. So hypocritical to tease him about playing around with her when she was clearly doing the same thing. She threw that gun away on purpose and limited her ability use during their fight to make it seem like he had the advantage. 

Now he wanted to fight her for real to see just how scary she could really be. 

Turning his head in curiosity, Dazai then pointed his finger towards her distant expression. “Is that how those pretty little eyes of yours became so hollow and empty?” 

He then watched as she clutched the empty glass between her fingers before the mafioso silently slid the rest of his drink over to her only for Asa to accept it gratefully. 

Damn, the answer to that question must’ve really been traumatic given that she needed more alcohol in response. 

And though most men would’ve changed the subject, Dazai only let her compose herself, silently watching as she closed her eyes before replying. “They made me see the darkest part of the world, they waterboarded me, disoriented me and then forced me to analyze every single depravity that the human mind could conjure up. It wasn’t for the weak of heart and… it broke something in me permanently...” 

Then before she could process it, memories and past feelings couldn’t help but creep up her spine. They were blurry and out of order but Asa got enough to know that her time as a hellhound wasn’t the most pleasant. 

Even now, she could feel the sharp cold chill of the icy tub as her ears drowned out any semblance of noise only to be assaulted with fingers on her face in order to scream at her to analyze the situation before her. She felt the blinding feeling of pepper spray in her eyes and blows to her head as she tried to answer the prompts that her captives had given her. 

She even felt the lingering sensation of cloth around her eyes as they plunged her into pitch black darkness for months on end only to blind her with bright lights and disorient her further. 

Her spine then began to shiver before forcing her eyes back open in order to blankly stare at the amber colored liquid in front of her. “I can’t turn it off anymore, I can’t help but see every fucked up corner of people’s intentions. My eyes catch every spec of darkness, every disappointment. So much so that it hurt to see, still does. I hate it, this thing they made me into..”

And that was the thing she hated more than anything. It wasn’t that those people had molded her into a robotic mold of their perception. It wasn’t that they essentially tortured her into their own design. 

It was the fact that she was now permanently damaged, doomed to live the rest of her life in a sacred manner. She couldn’t look at the world anymore without seeing the bad. She couldn’t escape the sharp headaches and nauseous feelings in her chest just by wishing she was any semblance of normal. 

Some days she even thought about ripping her own eyes out of her sockets, to perfectly gouge them out and blind herself so that she didn’t have to perceive anything ever again. 

Forcing herself to carry on, Asagao finished robotically. “But one day my body couldn’t keep up. They left me to die because I was no longer sufficient and Oda found me. Then he faked my death, hid me away, gave me my glasses so I didn’t have to see anymore and became an assassin in my place.” 

At that, Dazai felt his fingers slip into his pockets before feeling the metal of her glasses in order to pull out the object and place them on the table. 

He had taken them for her benefit but now that the boy knew the full story of such insignificant objects, it didn’t seem right to withhold them anymore from her. 

Sure, Asa had vaguely told him about the reasons for her glasses but now that the details were all laid out, Dazai couldn’t help but look at her with a new light. 

These lenses weren’t just a preference, they were a necessity to her. 

She needed them just like Dazai needed his bandages, and that was something the fifteen year old boy could understand quite well.

 It seemed like they had more in common than he originally thought. 

The girl accepted the glasses immediately, her fingers wrapping around the objects before placing the safe guard around her eyes before smiling softly in return. “And now, I’m free, my big brother gave me freedom.”

Freedom? The term was incomprehensible for the young boy. What did that feel like, to be free? To not be tied down by the darkness of the past? He didn’t know. 

Just then, Dazai’s mind filled with that same twisted mindset he had come to know. What a stupid girl, she was talking about freedom when she was sitting next to one of the most dangerous men in Yokohama. 

She had just dangled her skills and past resume in front of his face so carelessly.

Swirling his finger around the rim of his drink, the mafioso threatened back. “Shouldn’t you be a little more cautious about telling me all of this so easily? I am the demon prodigy after all. I could force you back into that life..”

And he could. If he really wanted to, Dazai knew he could pull her into the port mafia and use her talents for his own selfish desires. She had to have known that. 

But then why was she just spilling such dangerous secrets so easily? 

Asagao only hummed though, his threat leaving her unshaken. “Hypothetically yes, and I’m sure you’ve thought about it at least once or twice. I’m a tempting offer after all. Any executive would jump at the chance to use me..”

Then he watched as Asa narrowed her eyes for a moment before adding lightly. “But unlike what Ango believes, I know you won’t actually do it.”

Wouldn’t actually do it? Now that was a bold statement. He wondered what proof she had for that. “And why is that, love?” 

Although that’s when Oda’s sister turned her body towards him for the first time since their conversation in order to speak with a victorious tease. “Cause it’s not what Oda would’ve wanted.” 

At that, Dazai felt his lips curve into a bitter smile. Ah, she was right. She knew that Odasaku’s blood in her veins was keeping her safe. It was almost like she was rubbing that little detail in his face. Low blow.

For as dark and twisted as his mind was, Dazai knew that Odasaku had spent years trying to keep his little sister safe. Sure, having her in the port mafia would be a great benefit, but it would also ruin everything his best friend had ever worked for. 

And that was something Dazai couldn’t do, no matter how evil he claimed to be. 

Feeling himself laugh under his breath at her correct assumption, the boy then turned his head, playing devil's advocate just for the hell of it. “And let’s just say I didn’t care about that. What would you do then?”

Asagao then paused, thinking about his question before answering back with confidence. “Then I would let you drag me into the port mafia. But the only orders that I'd ever answer and respect would be yours.”

Dazai was certainly taken back by that. Was she serious? He knew her dedication to him was rather irrational but would she seriously put herself back in the darkness for his sake? Would she really disobey her big brother's last request that easily? 

Trying out to laugh off her foolish joke, the boy pushed his hand under his chin before teasing sensually. “I’m flattered, love. So you would be my loyal subordinate then?” 

But there was no hesitation or humor in her response. Only straight laced honesty. “Yeah, cause I need you by my side in order to see my big brother. Subordinate, girlfriend, they are just titles. An excuse, a way to keep each other around. In the end it doesn't matter what I’m called as long as I have you in my life.” 

And try as he may, Dazai couldn’t help the bitter, unpleasant taste that built up in his throat. No, she wasn’t serious. There was no way. Her admiration, her desperation to find her brother, would she really have gone that far just for Oda’s sake? 

He hated it, he hated the very little self respect she displayed, knowing that Odasaku would’ve also been horrified by what she was saying. She didn’t need Dazai in her life. Hell, her life would’ve been so much better without even knowing him. 

And he knew that their titles of boyfriend and girlfriend were a sham but he never thought it would go this deep, that she would so desperately grab onto whatever excuse she could find in order to connect the two of them together. 

Because of that, Dazai felt his mind run wild with possibilities.

In another reality, if that actually happened, if he had dragged Asagao back then did that also mean that Oda’s sister would’ve killed for him? Would she have snapped back to her old ways just in order to please him, to give him a reason to keep her around? 

Didn’t she know how dangerous that was? 

How could she possibly give a demon like him that much power to abuse?

Stretching her arms up in the air, Asagao then gave a goofy smile before beaming towards the boy all at once. “Like I said, it doesn’t matter what we call ourselves. In any universe or reality it would still be the same. You’re not getting rid of me anytime soon, Osu!” 

She said that so proudly, so confidently that Dazai couldn’t help but allow his eyes to fall back on his drink. How could she be so passionate about him? He was a mess in every possible way. No one wanted to hang around him, and for good reason. 

Their lives were so similar, both filled with horrors and brutal truths, and yet Asagao always wore a smile while he drowned in the pointlessness of it all. How could she do it? How could she feel so free when he was still chained by his own mind even today. 

Because of that, Dazai felt his own tipsy lips move without permission, whispering into his glass with a sadness he rarely let free. “After seeing all that evil, how can you not want to die like me?” 

And then he waited for her response, his shoulders tense and anxious from the sudden spilled murmur before Asagao lifted her head up in silent thought. “Mmm I don’t know. By all aspects that should be the case, right? But I’ve never felt that way, not once..” 

Then her lips formed a lighthearted smile in return. “I guess it’s because I’m waiting for life to pleasantly surprise me. Just like you do, Samu.” 

At that, Dazai lifted his head up in confusion. “How have I surprised you?”

Pushing her hands across the bar in explanation, Asa then replied lightly. “Well, you showed me this place to make me feel better, right? Even though I’m sure it brought back unpleasant memories, you still took me here for my sake..”

And Asagao knew that Dazai could act all he wanted but he had shown his true colors tonight. Sure, he may have used an underhanded tactic to bring her here but he had knowingly done the one thing she needed more than anything else. 

Dazai though, didn’t feel the same way, knowing this date wasn’t as pure as she was making it out to be. The only reason he brought her here was to shift her devotion and admiration to something else, something more permanent than a dead man walking.

Pushing his hand up to his lips, the boy frowned under the skin. “Did it ever cross your mind that my reasons were selfish?”

And for a moment he thought she’d be disappointed, that she’d yell at him or cry once she realized the fabrication he had set up to make himself feel better. 

Although that's when he watched the girl turn to him, her hand to her heart in absolute passion. “So what? Selfish and selfless, those are just small details. The results are the same. Doesn’t change the fact that you gave me such a precious gift..”

Lifting her hand to rest against her head, Asagao then gave the stunned boy a toothy smile of glee before adding wistfully. “But then again, nothing could ever be as precious as you, Dazai Osamu.” 

And with those words, Dazai’s eyes widened in order to find himself slipping back into the very same malfunction that had plagued him just a couple hours ago. 

Precious? 

Him? There was no way. He was just a pathetically depressed kid. He wasn’t anyone, especially anyone precious. She was the precious one, she was Odasaku’s beloved sister and he was..well..he was nothing of value..

So much so, the boy tried to wipe the compliment away, not knowing how to take it. “You’re drunk, love.” 

He then watched as Asagao’s lips turned into an adorable little pout in order to whine back to him through her rosy pink cheeks. “Whaaa, am not! I was being serious! I really do think you’re precious to me, even if you don’t feel the same. And anyways, It takes a lot more than..one..two..three..a bit of booze to knock me down!” 

Dazai then watched as the red haired girl looked down at her fingers before failing to count the number of drinks she had ingested only for the boy to snicker under his breath. 

Oh yeah, she was definitely drunk. 

So much so, the boy lifted his hand up before patting the top of her head like a little puppy in order to break her concentration. “Careful, sweetheart. You’re gonna burst a blood vessel if you think that hard.” 

Seemingly jumping back to life, Asa then lifted her finger in the air. “The point is..!” 

Her eyes then began to daze in order to slowly drop her head with confusion. “What was the point again..” 

Yet before Dazai could answer, Asagao was back at it, her expression changing back to one of passion in order to lean closer on her stool. “Oh yeah! The point is, why would I wanna die when there are still so many opportunities for the world to be beautiful? I don’t wanna miss one by giving up so soon..” 

Leaning even closer, the girl then gasped as she slid out of the stool completely only for Dazai’s strong bandaged arms to catch her before she hit the ground. 

Asagao didn’t seem to care though, her eyes showing through her glasses in order to lift her finger up and boop his nose with a slight giggle. “And neither should you, love”

Then the girl seemed to gasp in excitement before completely slipping out of his arms in order to turn to the small radio next to the counter. “Ah! I love this song! Turn it up Mr. Bartender!”

Skipping over to the open area, Asagao then began to bounce and dance to the song in child-ish glee only for Dazai’s eyes to travel down to the hands that once held her before balling his fists with a bitter chuckle. 

What was she saying? He shouldn’t give up on life? Foolish girl, he gave up a long time ago. It was too late for those kinds of words. She should’ve known that. 

How dare she put such pointless and toxic thoughts inside his head like that. 

Lifting his head to look up at the carefree girl, the mafioso then watched in stunned silence as she twirled and giggled across the bar without a care in the world. 

She looked so free like this, so unchained and open. He wondered how it felt, to radiate such genuine happiness and to be unequivocally herself. Because Dazai had never felt happy, not in that kind of way. 

He used happiness as a tool, as a mask to further his manipulation. He knew the concept, sure, but actually conceptualizing such a thing? He had realized from a young age that it was impossible for someone as broken like him. 

But Oda’s sister, she seemed to radiate the emotion with her entire soul, she knew the wonder and mystery of it. And Dazai couldn’t help but be jealous of such a fact, knowing he would never experience such a human emotion to the level that she was. 

That’s when his eyes couldn’t help but flash with painstaking realization. 

Oh, he had it wrong this entire time, didn’t he? Dazai had connected the similarities between their backstories, their intelligence, their manipulation and their necessity for his bandages and her glasses. 

But looking at her now, the boy knew they weren’t anything alike. 

In many ways Asagao was like a sun, her light always exuding positivity and hope with every response. She was unreachable, a fragile yet strong flower that was just barely out of reach in every possible way. 

And Dazai, well he was a black hole, unable to find anything of value but the darkness that always consumed every part of his twisted fucked up soul. And while she was unreachable, he was a ghost, flickering in and out of this life, unable to touch anything or anyone. 

They shared so many similarities and yet Asagao still saw the good, she saw the very best the world could offer while Dazai couldn’t even find one beneficial thing around him. 

He almost wished that they didn’t weren’t so alike, simply because then the boy could excuse their lives as plain nativity on her part. 

That’s what he thought all that positive bullshit came from in the first place, thinking that she was just a spoiled and sheltered girl that Odasaku had protected. 

But she wasn’t, she had seen just as much evil and pain as Dazai had. And yet, her responses were so vastly different. She had managed to keep her humanity while the boy had descended into a full blown monster. 

And Dazai would be lying to say he wasn’t both incredibly jealous and yet so genuinely intrigued by her in every way. 

No, that wasn’t the right word. 

He was enamored, he admired her resolve more than anything else. What a beautiful, enthralling sight. It was intoxicating, and enchanting in every way, seeing how she defied the corruption of the universe. 

Although that’s when the bartender interrupted his thoughts, his eyes also gazed towards Asagao in question. “Dazai, who is that woman?” 

Shifting his body to rest his back against the bar, Dazai then smiled to himself before answering honestly. “She’s Odasaku’s sister.” 

The bartender then felt himself freeze before looking at the girl in a whole new light. “I can see it.” 

Lowering his eyes in admiration, Dazai then felt his lips curve a bit wider. Ah, she’d be so happy to hear that. “Me too.” 

And he really did, he saw Odasaku in her so clearly, especially now. It was in her carefree attitude, it was in the sense of unbothered calm she always had when she was around him. If only Asa realized just how much she brought her big brother to life by just merely existing.

Lifting his head to the sky, the boy then closed his eyes in order to speak to his old friend. Oh Odasaku, why did you give me to your sister like this? Don’t you see I’m no good for her? Did you really trust me not to corrupt her?

Yet that’s when he heard another voice enter his mind only to watch a drunken man try to make his way up to Asa only for Dazai to darken his eyes in order to quickly jump off his stool and lift an arm out to the girl in question. 

Asa then felt his bandaged arms wrapped around her waist a second later, pulling her into his chest only for the girl to look up in her drunken daze. “S-Samu?” 

She was then met with his endless brown gaze, staring at her in order to slip his hand into hers with a light chuckle. “Can’t leave my girl hanging, now can I?” 

Feeling his head tilt towards the unwelcome presence, Dazai then pushed her body closer to him before glaring wordless in silent threat for the depravity that lay behind the drunken man's eyes. 

The stranger then stumbled away in order for the mafioso to hum in acceptance before his hands traveled to his “girlfriend’s” hips as she hummed to the music. “Didn’t think the great executive liked to dance.” 

Smiling under his breath, Dazai lowered his head, meeting her eyes. “What can I say, you’ve inspired me.” 

Yet that's when Asagao’s lips turned into a frown before turning away from his gaze with a mutter. “What am I gonna do, Osu? I can’t go home..Ango is gonna say annoying things again..” 

At the mention of Ango, Dazai felt his throat tick with unpleasant memories. Ah, that’s right. Ango was still staking out her place, hoping she’d come back. Well, it wasn’t like she could show up drunk either, then he’d really have a conniption. 

But it also wasn’t as if he could let the clumsy glasses-wearing girl out free in Yokohama. She couldn’t even find where she was going sober, which meant she definitely wasn’t going to be okay like this. 

Which only left one option left. 

Asagao then felt his lips brush against her ear before she heard Dazai’s next words, the meaning causing her entire body to shiver and her eyes to widen all at once. 

“If you really have nowhere to go then how about you come to my place, sweetheart?”