#they really do stop being purely a representation of YOU and start to become their own concept

[inksandpensblog]

Can stick-sonas come to life?

I launched a thread off of one of Tulip's posts a little while ago, but I don't want to continue to derail them so I'm making this its own post.

I asked what happens if a stick that's meant to be an avatar of their animator comes to life? But I'm realizing that I may not have been clear about my definition of "avatar" here, so I apologize for that.

When I say "avatar," what I really mean is more along the lines of "stick-sona." Not a self-insert, since it's not really used to tell stories (and I think if the creator did start telling a story with it then it would stop really being a stick-sona, because at that point it starts to become its own character separate from the creator), and honestly not really a mascot either, because it's representing one creator instead of an entire group of them.

So, AvA fandom, I have a challenge for you.

Think of your stick-sona. The stick you draw when it's supposed to be you, whether you're interacting with the characters or with your audience. The stick you draw almost like a signature; more to show the hand you had in the creation of an art piece, than as an actual part of the art. The stick you use to make announcements. The stick you use when you share life updates. The stick you answer ooc asks with. The stick you use when you want to preserve your privacy online but still give your followers some visual means of identifying you.

And ask yourself:

What would it mean, for your 'sona to come to life?

[beevean]

You know I actually think that Lisa flat out forgetting the fact that she had begged Dracula not to commit genocide, just so that she and him can have their happy ending, is actually far more problematic than any case of fridging from the games

Of course fridging a female character just to further a male character's story is absolutely wrong, but N!Lisa's very personality and character motivation for even loving Dracula in the first place (ie:the fact that he still had some good in him and the possibility for him to learn to coexist peacefully with humans) got completely flipped over their head just so that her husband could get an (undeserved) happy ending

The former sacrifices the character's life, the latter destroys their literal character

It essentially treats Lisa as Dracula's "reward" for...doing all the fucked up things that he did. It's an actual, textual example of objectifying a female character

I noticed some time ago that the show doesn't really judge Dracula's action morally, only logically.

Even the most Alucard can say is that it's a shame that his father won't use his genius and knowledge for good because the CHURCH BAD has pushed him to do evil, or that his victory would lead to an empty world. He never points out how utterly disrespectful Dracula is being to his wife's (Alucard's mother) memory: she wanted to help mankind, she (allegedly) cared about mankind, and he's honoring her by exterminating her own species that she wanted to help and heal. That is fucked up, and it shows that Dracula may have loved Lisa, but he did not respect her for who and what she was. But the story only beats you over the head with how stupid and shortsighted and self-destructive Dracula's mass slaughter is, eventually warping it to "ohhh he's just trying to kill himself the long way around 🥺 poor depressed little meow meow 🥺" yeah sure uhhhhh his demons ate babies and he was willing to let vampires starve to death as a price to literally kill everyone. If he only wanted to kill himself, nothing stopped him from stepping into the sun.

I also pointed out how Lisa shows no concern at all for her own son, not thinking about him in her last moments of her life, gleefully leaving him to his grief once she comes back to life (which is one of the parts in NFCV that personally insult me). Why? Because it's all about Dracula. In SoTN, Lisa talks to Alucard, she wants him to do the right thing, and only at the end she expresses her love for her husband - love, not "please stop my hubby from committing genocide because I know he will". Sure, painting Lisa as some sort of cross between Jesus and the Virgin Mary isn't exactly peak female representation because women are not inherently pure saints, but you know, it's still better than Lisa being written as the spineless wife of the Devil and a shitty deadbeat mother while still meant to be seen as this kindhearted person and Dracula's only morality chain!

I really, really am uncomfortable with how whitewashed Dracula is, and how this reflects on the other characters.

And yes, the end really is sick from this point of view. I keep bitching about Lenore and Isaac's "redemption arcs", because one is still the callous abuser she was in S3 behind all the "bonding" and the other woke up one day and decided to become a hero but more or less only to feel good about himself and his life. But Dracula... didn't even go through that. He didn't even pretend to change, or realize he was in the wrong. He died only lamenting that he was killing his boy! That was what broke him! He was horrified that he was about to kill "Lisa's greatest gift to him"! Which sure, it's a wholesome sentiment, but he didn't even have the time to think that maybe his plan was just fucked up from the start. And he gets a saccharine good ending on a silver platter? Lisa is just forgetting that she died with the fear that her husband would kill everyone in her name, screaming to please not hurt her because Dracula is worse than Satan?

It really feels like he was a toddler throwing a temper tantrum, and Lisa was the pacifier stuffed in his mouth to keep him calm. There, wife back, now stop being evil. Not because he had a change of heart, but because he got what he wanted.

That ending is objectively awful under so many aspects, from a characterization and lore standpoints, and I know it was shoved there only as a response to backlash to S3's bleakness. No thematic relevance whatsoever - Isaac's comment that Hector shouldn't bring Dracula back because he has earned his rest feels like the remains of a first draft in retrospect. It's just "yay everyone not named Hector lives happily ever after <3 only good feels all around <3"

[man-down-in-hatchet-town]

Ani: A Parody and the Radical Act of Recovery

Okay, so let’s talk about Ani, and why I love it. It’s not my favorite Starkid show (look, they can’t all be), but the older I get the more precious it becomes to me. And I think that's because of the way it handles failure, damage, and healing.

Ani is of course about the villains, but in some cases it's specifically about those who are the villains of their own story. It's about the losers, the characters maligned for years for being too cringe or pathetic, the ones who self-sabotaged their way out of all success and potential they once held. Even Tarkin, who in A New Hope was a pretty cool and collected guy, is an awkward mess in this version of the story. In different ways and to different degrees, Ani, JJ, and Jeffrey (looking purely at his relationship with Emily here) all start from a place of hopelessness, a nest of despair they each built for themselves despite having once been at the top of the world (for Jeffrey, that would be holding a position of power inside the Empire that could easily impress Emily).

And they're also founding members of the Empire. The creation of the Empire went hand-in-hand with Ani's worst moments and JJ's worst instincts. Really, if you want to get symbolic about it, the whole damn system is a representation of those two characters' failures and traumas. Without even really realizing it, Ani's cast spend their entire lives drowning in a manifestation of their worst selves and mistakes. And whether they are able to put it into words or not, it's clearly not working out for them.

To borrow from Black Friday, the characters' psyches are riddled by holes caused by the decisions they made within the lives they lead. The idea of these "holes" is of course not unique to Ani. Characters having unmet wants and needs is a vital component to storytelling. But Ani stands apart from other Starkid shows because its protagonists start in a place of dreamless failure, where they have already fallen so completely from grace, and dare to dream anyway. Despite all reason and learned helplessness, Ani gets back in that podracer. He chooses to believe that the holes can still be patched.

Obviously, we aren't villains like Ani Skywalker (I mean, I guess I can't speak for you guys, but I hope that's the case). But Ani is nonetheless a show about potential that has already been lost, an adult life that has already and irrevocably become something different and worse than dreamed of years ago. And that's... what life is. At least when you're like me (and at the time of writing Ani, that's what the Langs and Brian were), and just trying to survive your late twenties in an unsteady industry fueled by latent dreams but swamped by late-stage capitalism (hahahaha the arts). And I think it's probably true for people in other paths as well. Unless you're very lucky, growing up contains that moment where your life turns from something you will get to live into something that you are currently enduring until it can be fixed, if such a thing is even possible. Can you recover from this fall? Are you your hero or your nemesis? Did you make the wrong choices? Are your weaknesses and failures going to be what defines you in the end, drowning out all that promise and hope you felt in your youth?

Black Friday says "Probably. All you can do under this system is learn to see the holes, accept them, and stop them from making you worse."

Ani says "No. It doesn't matter how fiercely you burned out. It's never too late to heal." More than lost potential, it is a show about recovery as a radical but ever-possible action, about re-learning to get Back of Top once more no matter the obstacles.

And I think both answers are important.

[msnihilist]

I read a post of yours before about the lack of knowledge of eroticity in ben10 fandom. you know what? You are right.

But in my defense I am from another continent in the Pizza-Mandolino country.

Okay, you know what? Fuck it, let's do this. Prepare for a VERY long, VERY biased rant about erotic works and sexuality that is entirely based on my own personal thoughts/experiences and nothing else.

Please feel free to stop reading at any time if it begins to make you uncomfortable.

Let's preface this by saying that I masturbate to fan creations. I'm an adult, I'm into kinky freak shit, I'm not going to pretend that I have a pure, intellectual reason for being passionate about smut, okay? Okay.

The Ben 10 fandom has some of the most boring, tepid, vanilla smut I've seen in a fandom in a while, which is saying a lot. I've seen more emotional and kinky shit from Miraculous Ladybug fans.

And that's fine, I guess, if that's what you get off to. I'm not here to kink shame. I just think it's a tragedy for a show like Ben 10 to give us so many different alien species and character dynamics, and then when I scroll through the fandom tag on Twitter or Rule 34, all I get is big tits, ten-year-old Gwen with a hyper-inflated ass, and footjobs.

For fuck's sake, the Ben 10 NSFW community looks like a DeviantArt gallery for The Loud House, and it sucks.

Maybe being a Homestuck fan in my teenage years spoiled me. High school is about the time when people start to really dive into their fetishes, and I was fortunate enough to be in a fandom that was absolutely drowning in sodden alien pussy, tentacle cocks, and hate sex.

I don't just mean the tentabulges were nice, though. Homestuck smut has horn play, pheromones, different anatomy headcanons, monsterfucking, fighting that dissolves into sex, and some of the most tooth-rottingly tender sex scenes ever put to the screen.

I've read a fic where Dave got eggs unwittingly shoved up his ass by an alien beast five times his size, and it drugged him with a natural aphrodisiac so that he enjoyed it. I've read a bodyswap DaveKat fic that was so filled with self-hatred and mutual loathing that it looped all the way around into being incredibly intimate and overflowing with trust. I've seen fanart of mind control, wing play, micro/macro, milking, and quite a few different art pieces that make creative use of God Tier immortality for some guro corpse-fucking. Hell, I've seen kinks that I didn't even know were a thing thanks to Homestuck.

And what does the Ben 10 fandom give me? Ben and Gwen having missionary sex. Again. I'm used to full-course meals, and now that I've switched my primary fandoms, I'm starving!

I have nothing against incest ships. I actually love them. I can't get off to porn if nothing illegal is going on, y'know? But it's become painfully obvious to me that the queer folks who drew Dave finger-fucking Dirk's decapitated neck stump are not AT ALL the same as the cishet men who are making 3D models of Gwen's bone-dry loli pussy.

It's sort of infuriating to me, personally, that the Ben 10 erotica scene is filled to the brim with people who are still salivating over the same version of Gwen that gave them their first boner twenty years ago, and who can't get off to Vulpimancers unless it's a female one with huge tits.

You know the Chaquetrix trend that started over on Twitter? It encapsulates everything I hate about current-day Ben 10 smut. It's awful. It's so painfully boring.

These fucking cretins took the concept of alien-fucking and made it BORING! It's infuriating!

I went through old-school Ben 10 smut on Rule 34. I'm talking porn that's probably older than some of the newbies in this fandom. I immediately found Grandpa Max with his hairy cock out (bear representation, fat, hairy belly and all!), Four Arms with two dicks, Grandma Verdona fucking Gwen with her hair tendrils, and Myaxx with a squid pussy that's lined with razor-sharp barbs.

So I know it's not impossible. Freaks and weirdos clearly used to populate this fandom! I have no idea what changed, where they went, who hurt them... But it deeply saddens me.

If I scroll through the Ben 10 tag on Twitter right now, I can find Grey Matter with tits, a mockery of female "Brainstorm" that's just a normal, human woman with orange skin and pointed fingers, straight people having vanilla sex (ALWAYS with ten-year-old Ben), and foot fetish posts, of course.

It fucking sucks. It really does. Where is Zs'Skayr putting his tendrils to good use? Where is Way Big fingering someone? A Vulpimancer eating someone out with their insane tongues? Ultimate Kevin having some freaky nasty sex with Gwen?

Where is the creativity?

I'm not even asking for good characterization and interesting dynamics! Just anything other than the same old shit I can find on the front page of DeviantArt. The intimacy of Kevin and Ben trusting each other enough to sleep together. The hunger of Elena wanting to consume the only thing she loves. The sheer anger that might push someone like Albedo into a fervent kiss. Anything at all!

For the love of fucking God, this fandom is so disgustingly milquetoast. If you're a freak, I'm begging you to watch this fucking show. Please. For my own sanity.

[impostoradult]

I finally figured out why it feels like Supernatural murdered a unicorn (AKA why you need to STOP telling me to watch Black Sails)

I’ll start by saying, everything everyone else has been saying CERTAINLY bothers me: 

- the queer-baiting - the bury your queers - the undermining of Dean’s character arc  - the wasted opportunity for a certain kind of overall narrative closure - the flat out disrespect to Misha Collins and Jensen Ackles

 All of that bothers me tremendously. 

But there has been something else rather ineffable about this that has left a horrible taste in my mouth that I couldn’t quite pin down until last night. Bear with me, if you will, because this will require some set-up. 

*** This is not the first show to ever disappoint me in a spectacular fashion, nor will it be the last, I suspect. And one of the ways I’ve always coped with that disappointment was to remind myself that there will be other stories, other characters, other chances to get it right. (”It” being any number of things from just pure narrative emotional coherence to not burying your queers to not stringing along your queer audience and then yelling fuck you to them on the way out) 

But somehow that assurance -- that there will be other stories, other characters, other chances to get it right -- has rung particularly hollow in this instance, and I couldn’t quite put my finger on why until yesterday. 

I kept asking myself, why do I still have this feeling, deep in the pit of my stomach, like something was lost here that can never be recovered? 

Because something was lost here that I am doubtful can ever be recovered, and I don’t think I’ve seen anyone else talking about this aspect of it at all. 

***

A few months ago, TV critic Maureen Ryan did a great interview piece with Mike Schur (of Parks & Rec/The Good Place) discussing the death of long-form TV in the streaming era. They explore how the longer seasons and longer runs of traditional broadcast/cable TV provided an opportunity to tell particular kinds of stories that you simply can’t when seasons are 8-10 episodes and series typically run 2-4 seasons (thanks Netflix).

One key thing we’ve all lost in this new era of highly condensed TV storytelling (and of prestige TV narrative styles)? The traditional (several season’s long) slow-burn/will-they-won’t-they romance. Not only is there simply no longer the time or space to write such romances, it has also come to be seen as hacky, manipulative, cheap, artistically impoverished, low-brow, a embarrassing vestige of the era before TV became art™. 

Everybody is trying to be Fleabag now. No one wants to be Frasier. (”It’s really more like a 10 hour movie” they all like to brag)

Obviously TV still has romances, even ‘drawn out’ romances. But ‘drawn out’ in 2020 is like 2-3 seasons, maybe. More commonly it’s like half a season. Take Schitt’s Creek. The number of episodes between when David and Patrick first meet and when they first kiss? Seven. Seven episodes. Half a season. If you watched it live, it took less than 2 months for them to move from introducing that dynamic to consummating it. And I’m not bagging on Schitt’s Creek; I think the David/Patrick’s story is very lovely and well-written. 

But Niles & Daphne (Fraiser) had to wait 7 years and over 150 episodes before they finally got there. Josh & Donna (The West Wing) had to wait 6+ years, and 145 episodes. Mulder & Scully (The X-Files) had to wait 7 seasons and 143 episodes. Booth & Bones had to wait...you see where I am going with this. 

And my point is (and I can’t believe I never realized this explicitly until now): there has NEVER been a queer slow-burn/will-they-won’t-they romance of that type on TV ever. EVER. 

I’m going to say that again, because I think it bares repeating:

There has never been a queer, slow-burn/will-they-won’t-they romance that fits the 100-150 episode paradigm of delayed gratification on TV. 

Not ever.  

I can’t think of ONE example  Not a single, solitary one. And I know queer TV pretty well. Arguably the closest we’ve ever come is Legend of Korra, and that ran 50 episodes, a THIRD of the length of old school will-they-won’t-theys like Booth & Bones or Josh & Donna. 

Queer people have had a fair number of canonical romances on TV by now, even fairly long running ones. But we never got a primary/front-and-center romance that you had to root for for 100+ episodes before you got any kind of canonical consummation.

That is a particular kind of TV experience that queer people and queer characters were just 100% shut out of until it was too late. And because of how the TV landscape has changed in the last 10 years, I don’t know that that opportunity will ever come back around in our lifetimes. 

***

Dean and Castiel are/were a legacy of an earlier era of TV, an era that still contained the possibility for a will-they-won’t-they of that particular mold. There were other shows that could have also filled this gap at one time - Rizzoli & Isles, OUAT, House MD, etc. But one by one all of them were killed off, their queer romances unrequited, until Supernatural was the only one of its’ generation left standing. 

And they should have acknowledged that they were a species about to become extinct. 

There are plenty of other valid and compelling reasons Supernatural should have gone full Destiel, don’t get me wrong.

A) It would have been the most emotionally satisfying ending to the series and to those characters (and that would have been reason enough). 

B) It would have stopped the manipulative queer-baiting of the (disproportionately queer) fanbase (and that would have been reason enough). 

C) It would have been queer representation of middle-aged men, of bi men, of queers who came to their queerness later in life (and any/all of those would have been reason enough). 

D) It could have been a glorious subversion of the bury your queers trope, considering how often they’ve died and been resurrected (and that would have been reason enough). 

But point E) on this list is the reason this one hurts in a singular way that no one even appears to be acknowledging. 

Almost all of the other wrongs and missed opportunities contained in this Supernatural debacle have the possibility of being rectified (at least to a degree) elsewhere. I can and I likely will get more bi male characters from TV as time goes on. I can and likely will get more middle-aged queer characters. I can and likely will get more queer characters coming to their queerness later in life, and starting queer romances later in life. I can and likely will get more queer characters who aren’t killed cheaply and prematurely. I can and likely will get more genre TV shows with sprawling myth arc plots that are resolved in a coherent, satisfying way. I can and likely will get Misha Collins and Jensen Ackles involved in other projects that value their work and their talents. 

All of those other things are at the very least POSSIBLE, and many are even likely. 

But a queer 100-150 episode slow-burn romance a la Mulder & Scully or Niles & Daphne or Booth & Bones? That is the one baton Supernatural dropped spectacularly that no one else even has the possibility of picking up again for the foreseeable future. (They don’t even write those types of romances for heterosexuals anymore!) 

Seriously. It was a TV unicorn. And rather than letting it run wild and free, they stabbed it with a rusty nail. 

***

Given the monumental shifts in the TV landscape that have occurred in the last decade, I don’t know that TV will ever go back to the slow-burn/will-they-won’t-they romance spanning 100-150 episodes. Today it is a miracle if you can get ANY show to last longer than 50 episodes in the first place. 

And that is the piece of this that makes it feel (to me) like they murdered a unicorn.  

Because queer people have gotten a lot of things from TV, and they will get a lot more as time goes on. But that one? That one could very well be a totally extinct species.

That is the larger missed opportunity here that has left this feeling especially hollow and destructive. That is the thing that makes me balk when people tell me to go watch Black Sails or Pose or whatever other prestige TV show is doing this representation ‘better.’ Because that’s not really the loss I am mourning here. I KNOW there is ‘better’ representation elsewhere.  

But the will-they-won’t-they/slow-burn romance is a qualitatively unique thing that queer people literally just never got. Ever. There is no substitute, no alternate, no other show I can turn to with that kind of build-up and pay-off for a queer couple, and there probably won’t be in my lifetime. Not unless the TV industry undergoes another monumental evolution similar to the streaming revolution that shifts the incentives back to telling those types of stories again. 

All those shows you want me to displace Supernatural with? None of them can give me the one thing I uniquely wanted (and could have gotten) from Supernatural. THAT ALTERNATE SHOW DOESN’T EXIST. It doesn’t exist. And I have no reason to hope it will ever exist in my lifetime. 

So stop telling me to look somewhere else; you don’t understand what made this one a unicorn. 

***

Addendum: The only other possible show that could perhaps fill this gap is It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia (re: Mac/Dennis). But I’m hesitant to say it exactly meets that criteria, for a number of reasons:

1 - It’s far less serialized relative to Supernatural and (except for a handful of stand-alone episodes) very little of the story is grounded specifically in Dennis/Mac’s romantic dynamic (unlike SPN, where it is absolutely central to much of the narrative)

2 - IASIP is fundamentally satirically in nature/tone which makes it much harder to have genuine romantic pathos (not impossible, but harder) 

3 - All the characters on IASIP are fundamentally crummy people who you aren’t exactly supposed to root for. Which doesn’t mean a romance between two of them can’t have its value/charm/worth but it’s not the same as when it is between characters who unequivocally deserve nice things/happy endings

[nikakistos]

The Perfect Closure of EreMika

The title is pure clickbait (as always), there will be lots of tags (as always) and this post will be huge. As always. So, let’s examine and evaluate the perfect conclusion of the most important relationship in Attack on Titan. We will analyze why this is the best conclusion they could have gotten and of course we are going to talk about what their scenes meant for their relationship, their feelings for each other and the themes of the story.

First, let’s ask the question: What was the purpose of this chapter? Ending the fight obviously, but also giving closure to the relationship between Eren and Mikasa. Now, there were 3 questions that needed to be answered in order for the two of them to have closure. 

Why did Eren say to Mikasa that he hated her?

What does Eren feel for Mikasa?

What would have happened if Mikasa had given Eren a different answer back in chapter 123?

Isayama answered all 3 of them in a spectacular way. Let’s see how he did it. The chapter literally starts with Isayama, via Mikasa, setting up the closure. This was achieved by having her wonder if this really was the end for her and Eren. Could it be that their last interaction ever ended with him saying that he hated her? 

Isayama answers that with a big, fat NO.

That’s the purpose of Mikasa’s vision. Mikasa’s vision is not there to introduce us to Alternate Universes or to portray her as a delusional fangirl that can’t cope with reality. It’s purpose is to answer the above 3 questions. And that it does.

Essentially, Mikasa’s vision is a “What if” scenario. If Mikasa had chosen the ideal for her answer back in chapter 123, Eren would have abandoned everything and lived with her. This means that Eren is also in love with her.  He said that he hated Mikasa, because he wanted her to forget him. That’s why he also asked her to throw away the scarf.

Mikasa though, being the truest representation of all major, positive themes in the series says no. She chooses to remember him. That’s essentially the meaning of life. That’s what Armin taught to Zeke back in chapter 137. Memories of everyday life. That’s the meaning of life. Back in Trost, Mikasa said that she couldn’t die, because she wouldn’t be able to remember Eren. Even back then, Mikasa always knew the true meaning of life. 

Afterall, the series heavily criticizes the usage of memory manipulation. Deleting memories or altering them have been methods empoyed by the Royal Family for years, hiding the truth from the people. One of the themes of the Survey Corps is remembering their fallen comrades and carrying on the torch. Mikasa forgetting Eren would be an insult to the themes of the story. As would be if Eren was revealed to have been sending fake memories and dreams to Mikasa out of pity for her. 

Finally, Mikasa decides to kill Eren. Not because he hated her or because he didn’t have romantic feelings for her. Because she had to save the world and because that’s exactly what Eren wanted. Back in chapter 133 Reiner foreshadowed Eren’s desires. He explained that it is very hard for Eren, mentally, to handle the murder of the entire human race. Through Reiner, Isayama reveals that Eren wants someone to end it all for him. That someone was Mikasa. That’s why Mikasa knew where to find Eren. His relieved face when he saw her swinging the blade said it all. That was Eren’s design and Mikasa delivered.

And so, the chapter that starts with Mikasa thinking that the only closure she would get with Eren was the “I’ve always hated you”, ends with the first and the last kiss between the two of them that puts all of her worries to rest.

Is Mikasa delusional?

I’ve seen this being thrown around, so i have to also tackle said point. No, Mikasa is not delusional. This wasn’t a fantasy that only she experienced. This dream of hers is the same dream that Eren had back in chapter 1. Eren experienced the exact same things she did in the dream. We even see him with his titan marks. It is clear as day that they shared these moments.

Also, i have to give credits to Isayama here for his usage of “itterasshai”. The word generally means “Go and come back safely” and is usually said to people leaving the house. For Mikasa, Eren is her home, but she is also home for him, as shown in the RtS arc:

These were the perfect parting words for the two of them. Nothing else could encapsulate their relationship better. Eren of course, won’t come back, but that’s the irony of the word here.

Moving on to the next point, Mikasa’s characterization in this final arc is about her seeing Eren for the person he truly is and stop ignoring his faults. It starts from the Marley arc and it concludes with chapter 123 where she realizes that this was simply part of Eren’s nature.

He always had it in him to become the monster that he became. However, he always had a different side to him. A side that had been shown to her a few times. At first, when he wrapped the scarf around her and later when he asked her “What am i to you”. Finally, it manifested as a desire to live quietly with her in their shared dream. It would contradict her development and characterization in the final arc, to have Mikasa start seeing an incomplete Eren again, after realizing earlier who he really was. Mikasa understood who Eren truly is and she accepted him and continued to love him anyway, even though she didn’t agree with his genocide. 

It is not out of character for Eren to run away with her either. At least not in that instance. The series highlights the moment that he asked Mikasa “What am i to you” as a pivotal one. Sure, under normal circumstances, Eren would have chosen to fight, but we saw him breaking down just moments earlier. The only person that could have saved him was Mikasa. Alas, that wasn’t meant to happen.

In any instance, the biggest indicator that Mikasa is not just a delusional girl who kissed the decapitated head of the man she loved, when he never really loved her in the same way, is Ymir’s face at the end of the chapter.

Ymir, as i have mentioned in previous posts, is a girl who never knew real love during her lifetime. She didn’t understand what she was looking at, when she first say a couple kissing with their friends cheering them on. And after that she was sentenced to a cruel life, with a man who never loved her and only viewed her as a tool. This girl, remembers longinly that scene of the couple kissing for 2000 years. She was waiting for 2000 years to see real love again.

She witnessed that through Eren and Mikasa. In a scene that would have otherwise been painted in a negative light, Ymir’s warm smile at the sight of the final act of love between two people who never got to be together the way they wanted to, clears any and all doubts regarding Eren’s feelings for Mikasa and the latter’s sanity. Eren reciprocates Mikasa’s feelings and he was alive for enough time to kiss her back, before completely fading away. Eren and Mikasa replaced the married couple and Ymir replaced the crowd that was cheering at them from 2000 years ago.

Of course, one might ask, could Eren really kiss her? Didn’t she just take advantage of him? No, he did kiss her. The way the scene was directed, it shows us that the events, which take place in their dream, mirror the events in real life. Just look at Eren’s lips one moment before Mikasa kissed him and compare them to the picture above, where they kiss. They are different.

 Also, you have to remeber that decapitation doesn’t kill immediately and does not immobilize facial muscles. That was the entire reason that Eren and Zeke managed to get the Coordinate. Eren survived long enough from Gabi’s shot to make contact with Zeke. Even his facial expression changes as you can see below:

More importantly, was there really any chance that Ymir would look at Mikasa beheading and kissing Eren, while also smiling in approval, if Mikasa was a delusional girl who was unable to understand Eren’s feelings for her up to the very end? Most of all, do you think she would have allowed him to die, without experiencing real love? She died in such a way and she stayed for 2000 years in the Paths waiting for someone to show her real love. Eren was her benefactor. Would she ever allow him to die in such a way, when she was being mistreated (sexually and in many other ways) by King Fritz? I doubt it. Actually no. I don’t doubt it. I’m sure this is not the way we are meant to interprete the scene.

Eren’s relationship with Mikasa, from the very start, is an allegory for the world of AoT. The world is cruel, but is also very beautiful. Eren’s story with Mikasa starts with him murdering in cold blood her kidnappers (cruelty) and then warmly and gently welcoming her to his family by wrapping a scarf around her (beauty). Their story ends with Mikasa decapitating him (cruelty) and kissing him (beauty).

Eren’s tendency for violence has always been portrayed as going hand in hand with his better side. That side has always been represented by Mikasa. It is only fitting for them to have their most beautiful moment happening almost at the same time as their most cruel one. This is how Isayama juxtaposes this duality:

If we interprete this scene as Mikasa being delusional and Eren not being in love with her we get a very disturbing and creepy scene, between an obsessed, psychosis-suffering girl who can’t understand the feelings of Eren, a genocidal maniac who never had any chance or willingness to live a normal life, even though there are hints of that, and a 2000 year old ghost who just happily smiled at the decapitation and forceful kissing of her emancipator. I am pretty sure this is not the message Isayama wants to send. Not simply, because it is a disservice to Mikasa as a character and to her relationship with Eren, which has been one of the most prominent and consistent part of the series from the very first chapter, but because it is also a huge disrespect to Eren as a character as well. Does anyone really think that Isayama would choose to write Eren’s death like that? Not a single important person in the entire story has gotten such an exit. Not even Floch. Even Zeke, who thought that his father never loved him and only used him as a tool, got to see that his father truly did love him, before finally dying. Of course Eren and Mikasa would get the same treatment.

What i mean to say is that Eren and Mikasa’s closure won’t be recontextualized in a way that will paint their feelings for one another and their relationship in a negative light. If anyone’s expecting that, he/she will be disappointed. Eren and Mikasa were confirmed as a canonical couple in chapter 138.

On the other hand, if anyone’s expecting that this wasn’t their real closure and that they will get an even happier ending, he/she is also coping hard. Eren died here in this chapter. There won’t be a scarf rewrap (i’m here to eat my words if it happens), because Isayama gave the couple a kiss. A kiss that was in the makings ever since chapter 50 dropped. And of course, there is not going to be a baby born to Eren and Mikasa. Like, no way it’s happening. Eren is not coming back to life as that would turnish the series and it’s ending.

In conclusion, Eren’s relationship with Mikasa ended in the same way it started. Violently and Beautifully. Tragically and Happily. They acted on their romantic feelings for each other the very moment they had to part ways forever. This is how Isayama hurts us. The essence of a bittersweet conclusion.

EDIT: EATING MY WORDS AS PROMISED. EREN DID REWRAP MIKASA’S SCARF. HE KEPT HIS PROMISE.

[bookofjudith]

An Analysis of Ed’s Gate: Or, How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb

So, we’ve all noticed that the Gates (or the portals) of Truth appear differently depending on the person who’s been summoned before it, right?

Al’s gate is a relief from “The Marrow of Alchemy” , a 15th Century Italian Alchemy text. 

Roy’s gate is inscribed with the Flame Alchemy array, similar to what’s tattooed on Riza’s back. 

According to the wiki, the Gate of Truth is source of all alchemical knowledge, and serves as the entrance into the domain of God, where men are not meant to tread. The engravings reflect each person’s innermost self, and their understanding of “The Truth” i.e., the Universe and all contained within it. (does this mean that Roy’s perception of reality is only viewed through the lens of Riza Hawkeye and/or Flame Alchemy? Maybe. Maybe not. Up to you to determine if that makes them soulmates. MOVING RIGHT ALONG.) 

What I found really interesting about this is that while every gate IS truth, a person’s perception of the universe will change how they view it. Understanding Ed’s gate through this light is fundamental to his character and how he perceives the world around him. And that’s the ride we’re going on today, because Ed’s gate is FASCINATING. 

Ed’s gate is the Tree of Life. Versions of the Tree of Life  can be found in practically every religious tradition from ancient Assyrian religion to modern-day Christianity. Most commonly, the Tree of Life is a symbol of knowledge, connecting heaven to the underworld and connecting ALL forms of knowledge together. 

Ed’s gate isn’t just a bastardization of any Tree of Life. It’s specifically the Kabbalistic Tree of Life, called Eitz Chaim, from the Jewish tradition of Kabbalah. 

Kabbalists believe that that Tree is a representation of how the universe came to be. Branching out from the Tree are words for God (Elohim, El, Eloah, Adonai, and so on). The Tree ALSO represents where human knowledge of the origins of the Universe END. The tree flows from pure nothingness and energy to actual physical universe, in the roots, and then this process is thought to reverse itself. “Thus, the Kabbalist seeks to know himself and the universe as an expression of God and to make the journey of return by means of the stages charted by the spheres, until he has come to the realization he sought.” (source) 

even MORE interesting, The Tree of Life can be interpreted as the very same tree that Eve ate the apple from, became “knowledgeable like God”, and was thus kicked from Eden. 

So, what does this it mean for Edward “I don’t believe in God” Elric that the very essence of his being is tied to knowledge as an expression of the very divinity he refuses to acknowledge? Especially when we think about Al’s gate which is simply about the nature of alchemy, just knowledge for knowledge’s sake, what does it mean that Ed’s perception of Truth is indelibly intertwined with Faith, with God? 

We know that Ed views himself as Icarus and that his attempt to bring his mother back was flying too close to the sun. That he’s bitter over having bitten the apple of Knowledge, and thus been kicked from Eden. The fact that his gate insists on there being a natural stopping point to what can be known by man, and it all flows back to God, seems almost antithetical to Ed’s character. 

However. 

I posit that it’s not. It’s not, at all. All gates are truth. The idea that energy is not limitless, that it starts from one place, intangible, flows to become physical, and then back again, losing none, only being transformed, is EXACTLY what Ed believes: In order to obtain or create something, something of equal value must be given up in exchange. 

Ed’s belief in equivalent exchange is so strong that it bypasses a simple alchemical truth that must be learned to perform transmutations and becomes his very perception of the universe- his truth, or perhaps you could call it his faith. Whether or not this faith is “true” in the way one could evaluate religion is irrelevant; we know equivalence is a law of the universe, and Ed’s belief in it is what matters. 

So, with this in mind, remember what Ed does to retrieve Al? 

He gives up his gate. He literally destroys how he perceives what Truth is. I don’t think this means that Ed no longer believes in equivalence, but that he understands that there are powers that supersede conservation of energy. 

After all, the Tree of Life is not only about energy changing forms, but about God creating the universe out of (in many interpretations) love. And when Ed destroys his Tree, destroys his ability to manipulate matter and participate in this great exchange, even destroys the natural stopping point that protects him from flying too close to the sun, does he not do that out of love, too? 

[solreefs]

The Beauty of Unlabeled Things: Your Local Nonbinary Aro-Spec’s Take on Aziraphale and Crowley

or alternatively, Oh My Fucking God Stop With the Good Omens Queerbaiting Discourse Already

*disclaimer: shipping these two is not inherently aphobic or transphobic. that being said, if you romantically ship them purely because you think of them as not queer enough in canon, or don’t consider nb or aspec people queer, with all due disrespect, fuck you.*

Let’s start with the obvious: Good Omens is a comedy about an angel and a demon trying to stop the apocalypse, not a romance novel. It has never been sold or summarized as a romance novel. You were never promised a romantic relationship. Remember that.

Crowley and Aziraphale are presented to us as, quote, “men, or at least men-shaped creatures, of the world”. The implication being, they’re supernatural divine beings, so while they might like to look like men, but do they really have time for our human concepts of gender? Probably not. They have bigger things to worry about anyway. So right off the bat, we’re told we can’t put human labels on these two, because they’re not human. It just doesn’t work. It’s like trying to classify humans as dog breeds. Yes, you can match up some traits, but fundamentally, such labels are incorrect, and always will be.

And that ambiguity carries over to their relationship with each other. The best part of their relationship is that it has no definitive labels other than “an Arrangement”. They care for each other, and see no need to define what they have beyond that. Why do they need to explain it to other people? Isn’t the fact that this relationship works for them the most important part? They don’t need to care what other people think. And therein lies the beauty of this relationship, and in a way, of this book as a whole.

Good Omens was not written to be the beloved cultural phenomenon it has become. If you read the forward of the book, it was just a fun summer project. As such, it wasn’t written with other people’s opinions in mind. It is a weird, funny, and at times strangely thought-provoking book that simply does what it does, without much care for explaining itself any more than is necessary to tell a good story. Things don’t always need labels, or lengthy explanations, or to fit into neat little socially acceptable boxes of conventionality, and Good Omens is a book that celebrates that.

How quickly so many people forget the inherent queerness of unlabeled relationships, people and beings of ambiguous genders, and love that doesn’t quite fit into a neat, acceptable, nicely defined category. When you say “is Good Omens gay?”, what it sounds like to me is “this is a romance between two cisgender men, right?” It sounds like nonbinary and aromantic erasure. It sounds like ignoring the beauty of queer as an ambiguous, unifying label of all that falls outside the heterosexual, heteromantic, cisgender norm of today’s society. Quite fucking frankly, it sounds like entitlement and ignorance.

Unlabeled queer people are queer. Aro people are queer. Nonbinary people are queer. Not every queer relationship has to be romantic in nature. There are other kinds of queer representation besides kissing and romance that are just as important. Good Omens was not sold as a gay romance novel, stop treating it like one. And as a nonbinary aro-spec person, I am so tired of the way the internet treats people like me in fiction.

I also want to close with this Twitter thread, which encapsulates my thoughts on the ship itself quite nicely:

[ID: A Twitter thread that reads as follows:

Beans Turnip (@Hatpire): So, @neilhimself, they’re gay, right? :D

Neil Gaiman (@neilhimself): They’re an angel and a demon, not male humans.

🖤Rhiannon🖤 (@GoodnightSkye): Okay, but they love each other, right? :D

Neil Gaiman (@neilhimself): Absolutely.

End ID]

[thefanficmonster]

Could you write a headcanon (or something like that)... Corpse x NB reader?

I've been trying they/them pronouns and she/they pronouns and I want to read something like a non binary reader who is coming out as non binary and corpse, as a good 'boyfriend' supports and give love...

I can't talk to family and friends about it so I'm trying to find myself and find representation in other places... Idk hope you have a good week :)

Sure thing, darling! I'm so happy you are looking into what makes you happy and what pronouns you feel the most comfortable with! I hope you find someone you can talk to about this subject IRL, but I'm always here for you online! Sending a ton of love, support and appreciation and affection your way 💌😘

Here you go some headcanons! 😊

Pairing: Corpse Husband x Reader (Non-binary)

Warnings: None, just pure comfort fluff

Enjoy! ~ 💕

- You had been wondering what pronouns best suited you ever since you came across the concept

- You've been using certain pronouns all your life and never really felt fully comfortable with them

- They didn't bother you or anything, they were just never right and always felt out of place

- Experimenting with they/them pronouns has been the most true to yourself you've felt

- But along with that realization came the fear of how the people around you would react

- There wasn't a single doubt in your mind that your friends and boyfriend would support you but there was still this one annoying little fragment of doubt haunting you

- Your mind was flooded with 'what if's but never enough to cloud or shadow your happiness which came as a result of finally truly finding yourself

- The first person you wanted to come out to was the person who’s been your biggest support since you two met: your boyfriend Corpse

- Never had you been so sweaty and shaky on the drive to his apartment

- Once again, you knew he’d be nothing but supportive and loving but we humans just have a way of always discouraging ourselves

- Needless to say, you had him quite scared and confused when you showed up at his doorstep a trembling mess with a panicked fake smile plastered on your face

- Alarms started going off in his head immediately, bombarding you with tons and tons of questions on why you looked so worrisome

- “I-I need to tell you something...something really important”

- Well that had the complete opposite effect of what you had hoped

- It made him twice as nervous as his mind started racing with all the possibilities, scenarios and conversation patterns that could go down right then and there as you two sat down in the living room

- Despite his own panic, he gave you all the time you needed to collect and prepare yourself to start off with what you wanted to say

- “So, um, I....I’ve been struggling to find myself lately....I’ve been looking for what really suits me and...and I think I’ve finally found it. I-I mean I’m not completely sure but.....”

- “Hey, hey, slow down. I’m right here, it’s all ok, take your time. It’s just you and me and we’ve got all the time in the world. Don’t rush yourself.“ He took your hands in his, “Go on when you feel ready.“

- You felt genuinely touched by his words and his patience

- You knew that he’s willing to give you anything you want or need just to keep you happy

- And that’s what led you to stop beating around the bush

- “Corpse...I’m non-binary. I now use they and them pronouns. But don’t let that ch-”

- You weren’t given a chance to finish

- Within the blink of an eye, his hands had let go of yours and his arms had wrapped around you, enveloping you in a tight loving embrace

- “I’m happy you’ve found yourself, Y/N. I’m so glad you are becoming more comfortable with yourself.”

- Hearing that brought you to the verge of tears

- Biting your lip you tightened your own hold on him

- “Thank you for being the best boyfriend ever”

- “No...” he pulled away slightly so he’d be able to look you in the eyes, “Thank you for being the best partner ever, Y/N.”

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[astaroth1357]

You know how in some places people hug close friends or just friends in general (depends on how much you love hugs tbh) to greet eachother???? How would the brothers react to an MC that does that??? (pls give me representation, why does no one else hugs their friends. How do you keep your hands to yourself.) if you would like. Thank you very much for your time!!!!

How the Brothers Would React to a (Platonic) MC Who’s Just a Hugger

Personally, I’m a pretty touch starved individual, so I would fucking love hugs!... (but only once there’s a certain point of trust/friendship/intimacy what have you between us, you know? I get as stiff as plywood when random people try to hug me. Just… no thank you. I like my space please, but that’s just me 😅)

Check out my Masterlist for more!

Lucifer

NO. No hugging. This man is not a hugger and would rather they just not, especially if they’re the type to do it from Day One.

Expect him to flinch a whole bunch initially and keep his hands very much up and off of them like, “Would someone pry this barnacle off of me, please?”

With time and familiarity, he’ll start getting used to their particular brand of platonic affection, but he’s still not really going to hug them back… They may get like a shoulder or head pat though (one-handed back pat if they’re too tall for the other things)

IF they ever get him to hug back, it would only be for big occasions, like if he hasn’t seen them in quite a while. In those cases, he’s got himself a firm hug to him. He won’t crush them or anything, but it’d be warm and snuggly.

Mammon

Not going to be used to it at first. He may not understand why they keep hugging him because, let’s face it, these guys probably don’t give each other hugs very often (with exception of the twins but they’re a special case).

At first, he’s going to be really tsundere about it. He’ll get all red and complain about the MC “hanging off” of him all the time… But eventually he’ll stop fighting it and just hug back.

“Tsk… If it’ll get ya off of me, I guess I’ll play along…”

After they start getting closer as friends, though, he might be the one to initiate a lot of them. If questioned, he’ll answer something lame like, “It’s only ’cause I know you’re gonna do it anyway!” But secretly (not so secretly) he really likes it. Hugging Mammon might not always be the most comfortable thing because he’s a little on the bony side in places, but he’s got grip. They’ll know he cares—a lot.

Leviathan

Is going to react like someone just dumped holy water or something on him at first, especially if he doesn’t feel like they’re that close. He’s a shut-in, after all. Direct contact with people of any kind isn’t going to be his thing...

He’s going to jump and be reeeaaallly stiff at first. It’s like he’s totally paralyzed each time they do it, all he can think about is, “Why?! Why do they keep doing this?? Is this what all normies do?!”

But with time and familiarity, he’ll relax into it and even greet them with open arms of his own. If they’re going to be his true friend, then he might as well, right?

Hugging Levi (after he gets comfortable with it) is a pretty casual affair. He doesn’t hold onto them particularly tight or anything, but he has a really calming smell to him? Like, a fresh ocean breeze with hints of beach sand? Hugging Levi can be kind of therapeutic, which is ironic given his emotional turbulence.

Satan

Satan’s met many people, likely from a lot of different backgrounds, so he’s not going to be all that put off by physical contact being used as a greeting. Some cultures just consider that sort of thing perfectly normal, and he’s good at adapting when need be.

Buuuut they’ll notice a difference between how he hugs them at first versus how he will after they get closer. Satan’s original hugs will feel pretty formal like, “Open arms now and put body here then close.” There’s no snuggle or embrace to it really, it’s like he’s just imitating a hug based off of some IKEA instructions he saw one time...

After they get close, especially after the whole magic book debacle, he’ll start putting a little more feeling into his hugs. It’s hard to describe because it’s not like he’d do all that much different, but they can just feel how much more accepting and happy their hugs make him, you know?

Like with Levi, a hug from Satan is pretty casual. He can feel oddly warm at times (due to the burning hatred within his soul), so he’ll probably make a pretty pleasant hug on chilly days. If the feel of a cozy sweater on an autumn day could be in an embrace, then that’s a hug from Satan.

Asmodeus

He loves huuuuuugs. Yes, please hug this man because he will never refuse!

Like Satan, he gets that some people are just used to using some kind of physical affection as a greeting, so he isn’t put off by it. Just know that if you hug Asmo hello, he may kiss your cheeks or something as a greeting back. He thrives on this kind of thing.

When they become closer, he’ll just glom onto them for any old excuse, really. Even if he isn’t trying anything to get them riled up (because you know he might do that occasionally). He just likes the excuse to snuggle the people he cares about.

Hugs from Asmo are pretty dang close to the pinnacle that hugs can get, he’s second only to Simeon (who I’ve said before is the King of Hugs. Period). They’re always just as tight as they need to be, and it’s like he knows all the best ways to stand or put his arms for maximum comfort. You will not find a better hugger in the House.

Beelzebub 

Beel isn’t one to refuse a hug, even if he doesn’t really understand why he’s getting one. He’s probably not going to connect that this is just how they like to greet people for a little while, but will get used to it nonetheless.

The closer they get, the tighter his hugs are going to become. At first, they’ll just be pretty casual and loose. But after they make a pact together, he’ll put more of a snuggle into it. And after everything with Belphie is said and done… oh boy...

Beel has the tightest hug in the House. Full stop. Even tighter than Mammon’s because he’s got all that extra muscle to him. He has to actually be reminded not to hug too tightly by the others all the time just so he doesn’t accidentally break the MC’s spine…

A hug from Beel is like being suffocated by pure affection. It’s warm, it’s comforting... it’s a lot. And he’ll happily keep it up for however long they want him to. The boy is used to being the primary cuddle-bug for Belphie, so he doesn’t mind adding the MC to the list of people who get extra long snuggles.

Belphegor 

The man, the myth, the legend, the guy who will steal all the hugs he can get and give zero shits about it. You want to hug him, MC? Go for it, just know he might not let go for a while...

To Belphie hugs are two things: A nice little bit of comfort in what’s surely a day he’d rather spend sleeping, and a chance to lean all his body weight on someone else because he’s a lazy piece of shit.

He’s not going to care if they want to hug him as a greeting, a goodbye, an insult, or because it’s Tuesday. The second he feels their arms around him, he’s in cuddle mode, and that’s it.

There are three variants of the Belphegor Hug: (1) the Nice Snuggle where he holds them close but gentle, (2) the Lazy Hug where he just throws his arms around them and only gets tight when they try to pull him off, and (3) the “I’m Tired” Hug where he just throws himself at them and they end up quite literally “wearing” his body because he lets his legs give out. Hug Belphie at your own risk because he will make the most of it each and every time.

For more hug-based content from me, check out Demon Brother Get a Tackle Hug and Undateables Get a Tackle Hug!

[09kags]

Happy Haikyuu Day! 

Sorry for the bad quality first off T^T I keep having to resize these so that they’re smaller for Tumblr and it ruins the quality. But more importantly, happy Haikyuu day! (at least it is Japan already!) This edit embodies some of my favorite moments within the series and below, I’ve written some of the thoughts that went into this piece/my feelings on these moments! Manga spoilers ahead (I'm pretty sure I’ve kept them to a minimum but just to be sure, please proceed with caution!), and I hope you enjoy this edit! (Overlays: accio-glow, aulia-chan on dA; PSDs: hurtears, hallyumi, yangyanggg on dA) 1. “Today might finally be the day we get the chance to let our talents bloom… it could be tomorrow. Or maybe next year. Or maybe it’ll finally come when we’re 30. I’m not sure if physique has anything to do with it but I do know for sure that if you don’t believe that day will come, it never will.” This quote is a testament to Oikawa’s growth and is a symbolic representation of Oikawa freeing himself from the shackles of “geniuses” and “prodigies.” So what if your opponent is a genius? So what if they possess more innate talent? As his mentor and inspiration Jose Blanco states, “Are you saying you know what the limits of your abilities are already? Even though you aren’t yet finished growing physically or mentally? Even though you haven’t mastered all the skills you can master? If you’re going to complain that someone with more talent than you will always be better than you… no matter how hard you work, how many tricks you learn and how many great teammates you have… do that only after you’ve given everything the very best effort you have.” There will always be someone better in the world. But to claim that you cannot hope to compare to the likes of them is to resign yourself to a predetermined defeat as well as dismiss both your own efforts and theirs.    There’s no guarantee when your efforts will pay off. As Oikawa declares, it may be today, tomorrow, or even when we’re 30.  But if you don’t believe in yourself first, if you don’t believe that you will bloom in your own time, “that day will never come.”  The flower in the background is the iris. It is known to represent trust, faith, and hope amongst many other ideals. I chose this particular flower because of the manga cap used in this panel. I cannot emphasize how much I love the bond between Oikawa and Iwaizumi, especially this particular moment when Oikawa points at Iwaizumi with such authority and determination as if saying, “This ball, this moment, is meant for you.” Not to mention the pairing with the iconic “Talent is something you make bloom, instinct is something you hone” quote. An absolutely masterful sequence of scenes that always gets my blood rushing. 

2. “Don’t look down! Volleyball is a sport where you’re always looking up!” This moment gives me chills every time. It’s something so fundamental and simple and yet, when Ukai yells this,  it instills that feeling of “You can do it.” It makes my heart flutter and I feel so excited because it’s such a beautiful way of saying “Don’t give up, it’s not over yet.” And even if the ball has dropped for the last time or you have lost this match, there’s always tomorrow. There’s always the next match where you’ll have to look up. This quote gives me the same feeling as when Takeda-sensei says, “For the rest of your lives, you can do anything you set your mind to!” You only truly lose when you stop trying or you give up.  3. “It hurts. I’m tired. This is painful. I don’t want this to ever end.” / “The ball hasn’t dropped yet!” Whenever Haikyuu characters say “Just one more!” or “The ball hasn’t dropped yet!”, the tension and desperation is almost palpable. It’s so incredibly moving to see them strive to save that ball just one more time, to focus purely on what is in front of them. Even if they don’t all pursue volleyball as a professional career, the passion they all have for the sport is real. That sort of passion is beautiful to watch and admire, and I wish I could have that kind of passion for something in my life.  4. “The underhand only uses two hands. The overhand uses 10 fingers. That’s all the more to support your spikers with, which is what it means to be a setter.” / “To cut through the wall that looms before your spikers, that is the purpose of a setter.”  This particular panel depicts the two ideologies of Atsumu and Kageyama respectively, two of my favorite setters and characters in general. Atsumu “may be pretty cocky at times, and overwhelm his teammates with his thirst for victory, but he treats his spikers with more sincerity and selflessness than anyone else.” He may be overbearing and an asshole at times, but his love for the sport and the art of being a setter is second to none. On the other hand, there’s Kageyama who’s so damn cool with his one-liners. Kageyama’s passion and drive to win may blind him to his surroundings and teammates but he truly believes that the setter is the one who clears the path for their spikers. When their spikers feel cornered and the walls are closing in, it is the setter who “cuts through the wall that looms” ahead. The old Kageyama who was a prisoner to speed is no longer, and his growth as a player brings me to tears every time.  5. “Someone once asked me, ‘Do you ever feel bitter over the fact that you’re not a regular on the team, and amongst your juniors there’s a genius to boot?’ I never understood the exact definition of what it was to be a genius to begin with, but upon hearing the question, I understood the general gist of what they were getting at.  Every so often there will be someone who thinks that ‘people like Atsumu’ were ‘good’ from the get-go. But the thing is, if I practiced something from 1-10 every day, then people like Atsumu would have done it from 1-20. Or, they would have done the same 10 but in a more efficient or concentrated manner. They might also ask ‘Instead of doing it 1-10, how about I tried it from A-Z, what would happen then? Now doesn’t that sound interesting?’  They’re the kind of people who think about stuff like that. Even if they fail, even if they are hated and get ostracised by others, no matter whether they’re right or they’re wrong, even if they subvert something the rest of us hold in high regard, they’re the kind of people who can’t sit still without giving it a go. Even if they start coughing up blood from their lungs, they’re the kind of people who want to keep on running, no matter what.  There’s going to be a lot of people in this world who make you go ‘Wow, I’ll never be able to defeat them,’ and it’s only natural that you think they’re amazing people. I think that to be able to keep charging ahead is a talent in and of itself. You can call people like them whatever you like, the term ‘genius’ isn’t exactly an insult. That said, to think they were ‘good from the get go’ is to condemn yourself to a predetermined defeat without even playing a match against them, and I also think it’s very rude.”  This quote, hands down, is one of my favorite quotes of all time. It is not genius or natural talent that makes individuals truly great, but it is grit. Without a doubt, people are not born equal. There will always be someone with more innate talent or latent capabilities. We all begin at different starting lines. But those who truly stand out are those who go the extra mile, like those dubbed to be the Monster Generation (Kageyama, Atsumu, Hinata, Bokuto, Ushijima, Oikawa, etc.). To others they may seem like natural prodigies but behind their flawless technique and precise ball control lies countless hours of training. They trained harder than anyone else, sacrificed in order to hone their abilities, and ran farther than the rest of the pack. They’re the type to fixate on what lies before them without much regard to anything else.They eat, sleep, breathe, and live volleyball with every waking second. They’re always trying new things (Atsumu pulling off the freak duo quick in the middle of the Inarizaki match) and continually looking for ways to improve (“But the thing is, if I practiced something from 1-10 every day, then people like Atsumu would have done it from 1-20. Or, they would have done the same 10 but in a more efficient or concentrated manner. They might also ask ‘Instead of doing it 1-10, how about I tried it from A-Z, what would happen then? Now doesn’t that sound interesting?’ They’re the kind of people who think about stuff like that”; Kageyama keeping a volleyball journal). It is not what they were born with that makes them great; it is their overwhelming desire to win.  6. “‘Yesterday’ has already disappeared behind us. Many, many yesterdays have become a part of our muscles. What shall we do, today?” This quote, chills. There’s no point ruminating about the past or what has already passed; you can’t change it. (In retrospect, I wish I included another quote from Inarizaki in this panel: “One time is enough. We rise to the challenges of today.”) You learn from the mistakes of yesterday and use them as stepping stones for tomorrow. I wish I could eloquently phrase how much I love this quote or my interpretation of it but alas, my writing is fancy Garbage.  7. “But if… just if… that moment comes for you, that will be the moment you really get hooked on volleyball.” If you didn’t get chills when Tsukishima blocks Ushijima, I have no words for you. Tsukishima-it’s-just-a-club Kei, Tsukishima-I’m-the-normal-guy Kei — Tsukishima Kei, who always underestimates his own capabilities and relies on what he can see in front of him, blocking the Ushijima Wakatoshi, one of the top three high school aces nationally. The character development from someone who did the bare minimum (as noted by other players/coaches at one of the training camps) to someone who finally had their moment to get hooked on volleyball is one of my favorite progressions of all time. Seeing him fall in love with volleyball gradually and then all at once is truly heartwarming and beautiful to witness.  8. “No matter what other people may say, we are the protagonists of the world.” This quote is incredibly empowering to me. Even if your days consist of mundane activities, you are the protagonist of your own story every day. You may not be the main character in a shounen manga or an adolescent seeking to usurp the government in a dystopian novel, but this is your story. No one can tell it like you do and no one can replicate your story. It is yours and yours only.  And that concludes my Haikyuu word vomit! I really do wish I could have properly conveyed my pure adoration and love for this series better. I truly do love Haikyuu so very, very much. It will always have a special place in my heart and I will never forget the memories and lessons it has taught me! Thank you, Furudate-sensei, for such a beautiful story. And thank you Haikyuu, for everything. For all the losses and victories we shared. For all the smiles and laughter, and for all the tears we shed. Thank you, from the bottom of my heart. 

[caffeinatedseri]

Murakami and Ranpo

Some minor spoilers ahead for the third BSD LN, The Untold Story of the Founding of the Detective Agency." If you aren't concerned with spoilers, I did my best with summarizing the plot for anyone who hasn't read the novel.

In the third BSD LN, Fukuzawa and Ranpo are tasked with finding the culprit of an ominous death threat at a theatrical play. The threat is written as follows:

“An angel shall bring death, in the truest sense of the word, to the performer. —V.”

This threat fits perfectly with the play, which is a mystery play where each character gets killed by an "angel" who murders. However, the characters don't know if they're being killed by an angel or a regular person, because there's nothing supernatural about their causes of death (getting stabbed by a knife, poison, strangulation, etc.).

Each character was a former angel who had been banished from the celestial world, because they admired humans so much that God turned them into humans. Therefore, the characters in the play believed that an angel was sent after them to punish them for their sins.

This sets up two mysteries for us to follow:

1. The mystery of the real death threat, sent by "V" — who is the culprit behind it, who will they kill, and why?

2. The mystery within the play — is it an angel or real person killing each character, and why?

Paradoxes (and Things That Don't Make Sense)

The play is called, "The Living World is a Dream, the Nocturnal Dream is Reality," which is a quote from the real Edogawa Ranpo's work, but I couldn't find the exact source. The title proposes a paradox: reality is a dream, and dreams are reality.

Several other paradoxes present themselves in the story, but they appear most prominently in Ranpo's big speech where he solves the mystery of the play, and the murder simultaneously:

“The murder and the play’s story are connected on a deep level. This play reversed the tide of the narrative. A group of fallen angels tried to return to the heavens, but the angel of judgment tried to stop them. Meanwhile, the angel’s judgment was but a show, and the supposed victim, a human, faked it. The angel’s and humans’ roles were reversed, switching the judge and the judged. That’s the kind of play this was. "

"...the narrative is in reverse. Our structures have been swapped along with the victim and killer as well. In other words—he isn’t the killer, but a victim."

This reveal subverts the original expectation that the plot would follow two separate mysteries. Instead, the lines are blurred between reality and fiction, killer and killed, and dreams and reality because now the two mysteries are intertwined.

I think this part of the story is deliberately written to be confusing (or at least not very clearly explained) as to fit in with the themes found in Murakami's writing.

Who is Murakami?

Haruki Murakami is a famous Japanese author, and you may have read some of his famous works, "Norwegian Wood" and "Kafka on the Shore."

Since this is Bungou (Literary) Stray Dogs, Murakami makes an appearance in this light novel as the main actor of the play.

Before I go on to explain Murakami's role in the novel, I'll give a brief background on his real counterpart and explain how the theatrical play in the novel reflects the real Murakami's work.

Murakami writes in the genre of "magical realism", where the lines between fantasy and reality are blurred as magical elements are seamlessly incorporated into the story. I'll be using "Kafka on the Shore" as the main example for this point, since it's a great example of Murakami's expertise in magical realism.

In "Kafka on the Shore," there are 2 interrelated plot lines, alternating with each chapter, similar to the 2 supposed mysteries outlined at the beginning of the novel.

Like its moniker, "Kafka on the Shore" resembles a "Kafkaesque" style of writing due to its surreal elements that are bizarre and illogical in the rules of reality.

In an interview about this novel, Murakami said:

"Kafka on the Shore contains several riddles, but there aren't any solutions provided. Instead, several of these riddles combine, and through their interaction the possibility of a solution takes shape. And the form this solution takes will be different for each reader. To put it another way, the riddles function as part of the solution. It's hard to explain, but that's the kind of novel I set out to write."

The Outcome of the Play

In theme with Murakami's bizarre, magical-realism writings, several illogical events take place within the span of the LN:

1. Before the play even starts, Murakami (the character) and the rest of the cast completely disregard the death threat. Even though the logical and safe solution would be to reschedule the play, it is a very literal representation of "the play must go on" mindset.

2. Murakami gets stabbed mid-sentence, on stage by a white blade that magically disappears.

3. Murakami bleeds real blood and has no pulse, which would signify his death, but he doesn't actually die.

Despite all this, Ranpo is extremely good at observing various elements of a situation and putting them together to form a solution, much like how the interactions of "Kafka on the Shore"'s riddles form their own solution.

Ranpo appears on stage and makes an Oscar-worthy performance out of his announcement that reveals Murakami to be the culprit behind his own death. It doesn't make much logical sense that Murakami would fake his own death for a performance, but rather it's an action motivated by pure passion.

“I…,” muttered Murakami in almost a whisper. He raised his voice and continued, “I am an actor! I become someone I am not and live a life that doesn’t exist! My job is to expose what it means to be human! It doesn’t matter if I play the lead part or a minor part. It doesn’t matter if I am a villain or hero. I become them with every part of my body! There is no other job for me! This is the only way I can live!”

And here, Murakami reveals the final paradox of the play:

"But there is one thing that cannot be avoided while acting on the stage of life, and that is death! Death is not the opposite of life; it is life’s symbol and banner. However, it also provides a great paradox! Nobody alive has ever experienced it! That’s why to me, the greatest job of all would be performing the death of a person. Not death as a device or a mere convention, but real death that I could convey to the audience. That was the pinnacle of theatrical performance to me. And this is the outcome of my toil."

Murakami eventually gets arrested for the fake death threat and deceiving the police, among other things. The most notable moment after this comes in Ranpo's dialogue to Murakami:

“I thought you were amazing,” Ranpo suddenly said from behind as Murakami was being taken away. “I didn’t quite understand all of it myself, but I don’t think it’s something that just anyone could do. By the way, take a look at the audience. Look at their faces.”

1. Ranpo sees Murakami's act as something admirable, most likely because Ranpo appreciates a good mystery and had fun solving it.

2. Ranpo tells Murakami to look at the audience, to which he turns around and sees the faces of a broken audience who came to watch a play and instead witnessed a real not-so-real murder.

“You said your job was entertainment, right? But could you really call it that…when you look at their expressions?” For the first time, Murakami’s eyes showed a sign of weakness. “…I see.” A small voice, unlike what one would expect from a stage actor with a powerful voice, fell from the stage. “I was…only performing for myself.”

Murakami realizes that he traumatized his entire audience on his quest to reach the "pinnacle of theatrical performance." In his small world that consisted of just the stage, he failed to see the outside world and forgot to consider how his actions would impact others. It's also important to mention that it was Ranpo specifically who pointed it out to him.

The focus on the audience mirrors Fukuzawa's thoughts when Ranpo was giving his big speech before Murakami appeared on the stage:

Fukuzawa was at his wits’ end. From the playgoers’ point of view, the fact that people knew there was going to be a murder beforehand completely changed their view of the situation. Was it really okay to tell them that? But Ranpo showed no concern for the audience’s worries.

Ranpo, throughout the entire novel, is portrayed as this extraordinarily ordinary kid who means well but simply doesn't understand what others are thinking. He was taught that he wasn't special, but this only isolated him into his own tiny world, because the outside world was filled with things he didn't understand.

This leads to him upsetting a bunch of people by blatantly calling out things about them that shouldn't be called out, like the theater's owner Ms. Egawa, and even Fukuzawa at one point.

However, this moment when he calls out Murakami is pivotal because it shows how he's grown from this event. He's learned to be considerate of others. He's seen how he can upset other people with the things he says, and he's learned from that enough to show another person who's trapped in their own individual world.

Although Ranpo is depicted to be somewhat self-centered throughout this novel and even after it, Fukuzawa taught him that he isn't alone in this world. Because Fukuzawa showed compassion to Ranpo, a special fifteen-year-old kid who didn't know better in a world of monsters, Ranpo learned how to exist in a world where he was different from everyone else, and that was okay.

Thank you for reading! If you haven't read this LN yet, I would still highly recommend it because I didn't cover the entirety of the mystery, and it's a wonderful read to understand more about Ranpo and Fukuzawa's backstory.

[47crayons]

THE WICKED WITHIN—A COMIC SANS WIP REINTRO

!!!!! it's here :D the wip that started to consume me and has been continuing to do so since, now with a much better sense of what exactly is Happening

current tww taglist let me know to be +/- !! @a-completely-normal-writer @writing-is-a-martial-art @wannabeauthorzofija @magic-is-something-we-create @croctears @writeblrfantasy @opes-magnas @author-a-holmes @zoya-writes@fuyugomori @ink-fireplace-coffee

transcript is under the cut!!!

[transcript: a powerpoint presentation of black text on white background, written entirely in comic sans.

start slide one the top left corner reads in red, "warnings (most relevant) war, death, drugs (& addiction), poison". in the center, "the wicked within", and underneath it in smaller font, "a comic sans reintro by @47crayons". the comments around the entire slide read "a family that is so found!!!", "gang rivalry :D and gang content in general", "crime found family basically", "childhood friends to STILL FRIENDS", "all queer cast :p", "eat the rich (not quite, but it’s the right sentiment aldskjfls)", "kickass women, yeah bay bee", "nuanced relationships between different groups :D", "morally grey characters!!!", "so many different governments!!!", "a (mostly alsjflksdj) stable relationship!!!" end slide one

start slide two in the beginning of time… there were four gods: eltenjer, he/him, earth; skari, he/him, fire; aenged, they/them, air; thilda, she/her, water. i didn’t /mean/ for them to have genders, but a quiet breeze whispered “psst. i use they/them.” in the beginning? so you mean… they’re not there anymore? kind of! the gods need followers to survive, and after several unfortunate events, they lost the majority of their followers. the aforementioned unfortunate events: the great ruination, in which natural disasters caused several years of famine and other hardship. the restoration era, in which renovation led people to believe they can live without the gods. if the gods are dead, what’s the point? the gods aren’t /really/ dead, closer to dormant. they can’t actively interact with the mortal realm, but IF they had followers, they would come back to life. oh. did i mention that they control the magic. end slide two

start slide three the dormant gods who can't do... anything control the magic??? hey, no one said magic always has to work. foreshadowing alert huge foreshadowing alert. let’s talk about how magic works, shall we :D people use the Spirit to do magic. people have a Vessel (representation of stamina or how much Sprit can be used at once, can be trained!). people also have a Strength (a type of magic that works well with the user, these have varying frequencies which also depends on location). there’s too much i could say here, but the important thing is the main characters’ Strengths. the right depicts an image of a flowchart showing that gods need followers and produce sprit. people need spirit to do magic. end slide three

start slide four okay but where are we??? where could the magic be so fucked? well, here, of course! the left side shows a line art map, split into five parts going clockwise: portingdale, worchester, the hooks, elderwood, unlabeled. the legend shows that there are mountains in portingdale, forests in elderwood, and rivers that run from portingdale to everywhere else. the place where the four labeled regions meet is called the Inner City. the text on the right reads. welcome to Kjer! there are 3 districts. but wait! there are five? sections? and one isn’t even labelled. worchester used to be a district,,, but it left after the war began. the unlabeled section is the disputed region (re: war). let’s talk more about this war. elderwood wanted easier access to water (see: the rivers in the Wetlands) elderwood & portingdale have been fighting there on and off for over half a century. the hooks has three wards: west (hella rich), south (lower income), north (somewhere in between). end slide four

start slide five whomst. skip to the next slide if you want the actual characters. character basics: the unnecessarily-winded-and-cram-a-lot-of-lore-in version. in the North Ward of The Hooks, there are three main gangs. Kaer Styen, meaning “wicked ones”, Ghetfaer Skarnen, meaning “trickster lords”, Ad Knesten, meaning “the grumbles”. that was so many capital letters i don’t like capital letters alskjdflksjd. they have rivalries and conflicts from time to time, but it’s pretty rare. the tww cast is kaer styen !!! their main means of profit is a drug called jezdin. relieves physical and mental pain. lethal in high. quantities/ when tampered with. can also be addictive. they operate out of a dingy tavern-like building, and they live upstairs!!! okay so this is purely for vibes. how did u know. end slide five

start slide six the Gang. literally :3 Kaer Styen, my beloved. the first thing in each of their bios is their Strength (re: the magic slide). artbreeders!!! i fixed quite a few of them, but my artbreeder skills are questionable at best. this slide is split into three columns. the first column shows a white person with short, brown, curly hair and a firm, but not angry, facial expression. len, he/him, pan. Shifter (can manipulate physical properties). cynical, very cynical (because he has killer instincts). “oh people are dying? am i dying? are you dying? why should i care?” in a relationship with cal. the second column shows a person who appears east asian with long, black, wavy hair and fair skin. chloe, she/her, aroace. Chemist (chemistry but magical). literal archery god. also she’s so quiet it’s SCARY. seems welcoming, emphasis on /seems/ she’ll destroy your ass. knows what you’re feeling. she just. knows. the third column shows a white person with dirty blonde hair. they are smiling. cal, they/them, bi. Whisperer (can persuade others through speech/music). so casually funny all your burdens disappear for a hot minute. gets very attached very deeply. grew up in Portingdale which becomes Important later. end slide six

start slide seven cont. also they have piercings!!!! maybe i will make some picrews later (listen, i KNOW i’ve said this before but. maybe i’m for realsies this time, okay?) this slide is also split into three columns. the first a smiling white female with light blonde hair. eden, she/her?, demi lesbian. Healer (healing magic <3). seen hell and doesn’t want others to suffer. still believes in the gods’ existence. we Don’t talk about her awful parents. raised by a lovely woman in the South Ward, known as Nana. this eye (left) is almost PURPLE which i didn’t do on purpose but is honestly such a cool idea. the second column shows a partially smiling black man with short curly hair. jereth, he/him, gay. powerful life magic thing (will be spoilers if i talk any more). joins them at the beginning. honestly kind of scared of them (who wouldn’t be), but wants to live up to expectations. throws himself into stuff to avoid Thoughts. the third column shows a woman with brown skin, black wavy hair, and a small smile. she is NOT a member of Kaer Styen, but i’m talking about her here all the same. adalaide, she/her, bi (i didn’t like the e in adelaide alskdfjlsj). Melder (metals and the like). heir to the Portingdale throne (assuming her dad doesn’t disown her). Cal’s ex from a few~ years ago she’s still a lil’ hung up on them. technically an antagonist but i love her. so all my characters are queer sue me </3 end slide seven

start slide eight some semblance of plot? coming right up!! the four (jereth isn’t there yet!) are attacked in the Inner City. turns out it’s portingdale soldiers. and then they discover that portingdale has been poisoning the southern rivers (affects worchester and the south ward) because worchester doesn’t really contribute to Kjer as a whole. word gets out, and elderwood, naturally, is even angrier at portingdale (remember, they've been at war). so, they try to stop portingdale from being power hungry enough to poison the entirety of a country while learning about why worchester is so isolated while ALSO trying not to get killed by everyone who hates them. end slide eight

start slide nine memes :> the first is the meme of spongebob reading a sheet of paper and burning it. the paper reads, "going into worchester by yourself is going to get you KILLED", and spongebob is labelled "chloe". the second is the levels of brain template labelled "jereth". from the weakest to most powerful: "trying to figure out his magic", "doing it by accident", "saving everyone's lives". the third is the sleeping person and brain meme. brain: "you're going to portingdale". cal: yeah, i know. brain: you'll see adalaide. cal's eyes are wide open in fear. the fourth says "corporate needs you to find the difference between this image and this image". the first image says, "family", and the second one says, "len, chloe, cal, jereth." eden says, "they're the same picture". the fifth is the spiderman copycat meme where jereth is copying len. end slide nine

/end transcript]

[m34gs]

WIP Meme + Tag game!

List the titles/filenames/descriptions of your WIPs and tell us a little bit about them/wail about them/beg for inspiration/whatever you want! Then tag some people for a no-obligation mutual wailing/cheering/complaining session!

Thank you for the tag, @kimium! I started a separate post because I was worried this would get a bit long, hope that is ok!

Let's start this off with the Big One:

Bar AU:

Akudama Drive - Brawler has a flowchart: this is the part of Bar AU pertaining to Akudama Drive specifically and, as it states, Brawler has a flowchart. Where? In his mind. For what? To determine What Would Swindler Do when faced with a morally or socially challenging new situation. There are other fun parts such as Big Brothers Hacker and Courier, Offerings to Swindler For Managing Cutthroat, Hoodlum and Brawler are Married, and more!

Bleach Crack-fic dating au - Poor Ichigo is being courted by the entirety of the soul society, a hollow, and a few humans. Also Grimmjow is the Best Painter of the Nails.

Blue Exorcist: Rin stop being shocked ghosts exist you are the literal son of satan - Rin is surprised by all the ghosts/supernatural beings in the other universes connected to the bar. Bon is Tired. Shura must never meet Gojo from JJK.

Bungou Stray Dogs: Lovecraft is Trying- Lovecraft just wants to be a good husband. Atsushi did NOT agree to be adopted by Chuuya and Dazai. Chuuya and Gojo from JJK must Never Meet.

Death Note: L and Light are married now - L and Light are a couple. Near, Mello, and Matt are together. Sayu wins L's compliance in embarassing Light by learning to make L the Best Strawberry Short Cake Ever. Watari is Immortal and Ryuk enjoy's Rin's apple pie.

Dr. Stone: Byakuya is Alive - Exactly as it sounds. Byakuya is alive. And he is married to Xeno and Stanley. Senku is oblivious and Gen is Tired.

Fire Force Found Family AU - company 8 keeps ending up with new members of their Found Family. Benimaru and Konro will go after anyone who mistreats the tea. Joker and Licht are married and they didn't have a huge ceremony which according to Maki is A Crisis.

JJK Gojo needs to stop drinking - Gojo winds up at the wrong Bar when he is too drunk. That is what started the Bar AU. Megumi has to sort out his crushes on Sukuna and Itadori. Kugasaki is badass af. Nanami and Geto need to be a bit better when it comes to comforting their husband.

The Adventures of the League of Dads - Dadzawa, Dad Mic, Dad Might, Dadgum, Vlad Dad, Best Dad, and more. Also, who is Dad Magnet?????

And Now Back to Our Regularly Scheduled Programming... ACTUALLY let's talk about some ideas I have yet to really mention; things I have plans for but haven't fully started the writing process of. After all, I can only babble about the things I have already started posting so much before even I would need a break from hearing about them. So. Here we go:

Bokuaka Beauty and the Beast AU: It's pretty simple: Beauty and the Beast plotline with Bokuto as the Beast and Akaashi as the Beauty. Perfectly Simple. A young prince, cursed to live as a demonic entity after breaking the heart of a witch, and the young man, sent by his village to desperately try to explain to the Prince that their offerings to buy his protection were stolen when they were pillaged by bandits, end up stuck in the near-abandoned castle together due to Horrible Weather. Wonder what could possibly happen. 👀

Chaos and Purity: an original work. Two deities fall in love. One is the representation of all things Pure (not "soft" or "uwu", pure as in unmixed, as in absolute. Pure gold, pure silver, pure love, pure hatred, pure malice, etc.) and One is the representation of all things Chaotic. They have seven daughters. Their family is torn apart and set against each other by spiteful and jealous people.

I think I will end it there, at the risk of this post becoming incredibly long and boring, lol. I do have many more, but if I listed them all I feel everyone would run away ahahaha. If anyone wants to know more about any of the above or just wants to chat about them, feel free to ask about it! Inbox is always open :D

Tagging: @collisiondiscourse, @sailormew4, @sithfyremonarch, @kuroosden, and @backwardshirt

No pressure, but feel free to participate!

[guiltycorp]

about the ‘sworn’ or ‘righteous’ part of Kaeya’s relation to Ragnvindrs Considering the fact that Kaeya must have been ~10-13 years old when he was taken in by Crepus and also that his profile description calls him his sworn son (義子) I believe it's safe to assume that this was the primary relationship. Later in his stories Kaeya is often referred to as 養子, adopted or foster son and it is my belief that the meaning is 100% foster because being a sworn son is different to actually getting adopted. Sworn children don't share their 'parents' surnames and they don't inherit anything, in fact, often there's no form of written contract at all and instead it's just an agreement where one side provides patronage and care while the other offers filial piety. So, that means that it probably wasn't Diluc's decision to swear an oath of brotherhood with Kaeya! Instead Kaeya first became Crepus's sworn son and thus became Diluc's sworn brother by association; though calling the children of your sworn parent your sworn siblings isn't an absolute rule it's still kind of expected. Having skimmed through the Chinese Wikipedia page it seems to me like the main contemporary reason to make other children your sworn sons/daughters is because people weren't allowed to have more than one child and 'adopting' sworn children like this allowed the kids to learn the value of 悌, concept of fraternal loyalty. Also just in general easier to make close friends when your parents already did that for you. It would make sense to me if Crepus didn't want to risk adopting a random kid but still took in Kaeya as his sworn son specifically to provide Diluc with a close friend of a similar age and semi-equal status (sorry Elzer т_т). I should note that the practice of sworn parents/siblings was often historically used for political and economical reasons, in turn leading to corruption and abuse. For example, 'I give you filial piety, you give me money and promotions' or 'I give you a roof over your head and you give me your servitude' etc. This isn't really relevant to Kaeya's character since he mentions happiness while being with Ragnvindrs (when comparing his duty to his feelings), but still this is to provide context bc the practice isn't seen as completely ideal&pure. Plus he diiiid become a knight under Diluc ehe, but of course it’s easy to make the case for ‘he deserved it’.  Anyway in my opinion, considering the fact that Kaeya's and Diluc's sworn brotherhood oath wasn't made by them on purpose, the only thing that truly matters when it comes to their relationship is the characters' own view. We don’t really have much information on their pre-fight dynamic aside from them having been very close with Diluc as the older perfect prodigy and Kaeya as his sidekick (support + planning). However, they are said to have been as close as the gemini, like, the sign that means twins. This is probably a point in favor of an actual brotherly relationship rather than a fairly distant friendship. Meanwhile their current in-game relationship is fraught with tension.  Kaeya obviously wants to reconcile and Diluc still relies on him whenever Kaeya suggests it, so when it comes to professionalism they fall back into the same dynamic of brawns & brain, but their dialogues are filled with mistrust on Diluc’s end and with bitterness on Kaeya’s side.  It's fairly concerning that the only sign Diluc might still care about his ex-sworn brother is that ugly ass vase he kept in the lobby.   Considering the amount of things Kaeya managed to do for him already, it's slightly unbalanced immo to say the least :/ :/ Some like to say that Diluc not giving him over to Jean is already a sign of caring on his part but idk, considering his personality he might just see Kaeya as his own responsibility to watch over and I doubt that he would leave Mond for 4 years if Kaeya actually seemed like a threat.  And there were plenty of times when Diluc could have alluded to Kaeya (like, kaeya alludes to him in his voicelines all the time) and yet just doesn't.  Even the line that could vaguely be associated with Kaeya, the one about nightingales, is a mistranslation — he meant night OWLS, his own constellation and symbol. What a pity tbh.  We just have to wait for further content with them to be sure that Diluc isn’t completely heartless.  And more about the pairing though, read only if it’s relevant to your interests.  While ideally sworn siblings are expected to maintain platonic relations and to care for each other their whole lives, being halves of a whole and all that, interestingly enough according to the Wikipedia page the specific kind of sworn siblings you make through parents is less regulated, so if kids grow up and pursue romantic relationships between each other it's seen as just fine, sometimes even encouraged by the more meddling type of grannies. Tbh at first I was surprised by that, but likely it's because becoming sworn siblings isn't really their call? While if you swear an oath of brotherhood/sisterhood by your own decision as an adult you're expected to maintain that specific kind of relationship? makes sense to me i guess (that said, of course there are also practices like 契兄弟, Qi sworn brothers — like, specifically the gay sworn brothers, when men swore brotherhood with their lovers to avoid persecution for homosexuality... also my understanding is that women did that way more often because for them it was also a way to get out of marriages by saying that they were fully devoted to their 'sisters' instead, this isn’t relevant here, just interesting) Basically as soon as you enter a romantic relationship with your sworn-anything the boundary you maintain is replaced by the new romantic kind and you shouldn't count as sworn siblings anymore; unless you're lgbtq in which case open romantic relationships are dangerous anyway so you might as well continue calling your partner whatever. Basically there would be nothing wrong with kaeluc especially since they even already stopped calling each other sworn brothers (the eng translation took liberties again, in the comic it’s not actually clear who was the first one to stop). It’s all about the characters’ own perspective and while I’m convinced that genshin won’t have any outright lgbt representation bc chinese game, we can still assume a lot from how things between Kaeya and Diluc develop, like whether they will reconcile and if they do will they go back to calling each other sworn brothers or if they will start a completely new friendship free of the ties to Crepus. Or will they fail to reconcile in a dramatic and angsty fashion? Either way, this time it would be their own choice and thus all the stronger for it! 

[quercusfloreal]

Le 3e Gédéon

I was hesitating to talk about it but here we go. May I introduce you to the manga "Le 3e Gédéon".

Warning long post

What it's about ?

Manga in 8 volumes, it tells the story of Gédéon Aymé who dreams of becoming a deputy to the Estates General to save the people from misery. George, the Duke of Loire and his former comrade, also seeks to change the system, but instead use violence to achieve his goal. This is going to be a story where the two characters will fight each other, one wanting peace and peaceful change, the other a radical and violent change.

What did I think of it ?

I found the story good. It manages to mix fiction and French revolution. It's full of inconsistencies but somehow it works. However I wouldn’t advise this manga to everyone. There is psychological and physical torture, gore and nudity. The images can sometimes be very crude.

What about historians characters ?

Well, we have the most badass portrayal of Louis I've ever seen in my life, he’s able to detect the slightest lie. Marie Antoinette may seem shallow, but she knows perfectly well how to play her charms to turn the tables in her favor. Their couple is interesting because each of them can't really love the other completely. Madame Roland is an ambitious woman who we learn had a daughter with Gédéon. Saint-Just is the slightly confused teenager who will eventually grow up and assert himself. Charles Philippe, the sociopathic Count of Artois, wants his brother's place and Elisabeth, the king's sister, wants Marie-Antoinette's place.

But what about Robespierre ?

I said in an old conversation that Maxime had daddy issues. Let me explain. One of the main themes of this manga is family and father figures. We learn that Gideon's father is the duke and he has exchanged his son's place with George so that Gédéon can be closer to the people. George has a real grudge against the duke because when Gédéon will be older, he should have become a servant again. But by trapping Gideon he kept his place.

Maxime has a real grudge against his father and George will use this information to manipulate him.

The first time we hear about Robespierre is in the first chapter. George is looking for easily manipulated men who can help him destroy the old system. Saint-Just, recruited by George, tells him that Max would be a potential candidate. Maxime is invited to George's house and has to save a former peasant, now a bandit, from the death penalty because he attacked George. Of course Maxime succeeds but it was a test. Of course, George can’t deny Maxime's skills but I believe it’s hearing the conversation between Maxime and Gédéon about Gédéon’s daughter that made him decide :

Robespierre : Shouldn’t you start trying to be a good family man ? You should leave the Assembly to single people like me !

We see Robespierre again later in a rather amusing scene with Gédéon. Gédéon, drunk, says Saint-Just's erotic writings told the boy is a virgin and is amused. And who is the virgin in the same bar as Gédéon? Boom Maxime !

Their following conversation will confirm that Louis XVI is the father of the kingdom.

Yeah, but when does George act ? Well, Gédéon sees Maxime again when the Estates General stagnate and there is a talk about creating a new assembly. Since Gideon is now part of the King's police force, Maxime asks him if he can meet the King discreetly to solve the problem. But without clearly knowing it, George is already starting to manipulate Maxime.

Keep in mind the puppet representation. It will be important for the next step. Because it’s present when Maxime's words contradict a part of his thoughs and when this thoughs takes controls.

After Gédeon refuses to join Saint-Just, Maxime explains to him, if Gédéon continues to hang out with the royal family, there will be repercussions. And if Gédéon tries to find his lost daughter and make politics at the same time, he will lose both. Because for Maxime, children are burden to their parents. Maxime explains his childhood, his dead mother and his father who left. He is resentful of himself because he believes it was his behavior as a child that made his father disappear, that he was a burden to him. This is why he doesn’t want children.

But underneath this justification, even if he pretends the opposite, he has hatred towards this father who abandoned him.

Gédéon : You have the right to hate your father.

Robespierre : In this case, I have the right to kill him, right ?

On the day of the meeting with the king, on the way to the palace, Maxime admits to Gédéon that his father sends him letters. In this letters, his father talks about his new family. Of course he knows that this is probably a trap, but we feel that it’s a sensitive subject for him.

Robespierre : Over my shoulder, I saw myself when I was ten years old.

Then comes one of my favorite scenes, a scene of tension between Louis XVI and Robespierre. Louis explains there are three locks on the table, if he thinks Maxime is lying, he will break one of them.

Robespierre : Since that time, I have always respected you as a father.

Louis XVI : One...You were warned, lies don't work. Either you don't respect us, or you don't respect the concept of a father.

After two, Maxime admits being one of the instigators of the problems at the Estates General and to make it stop, Necker must be dismissed because he makes promises that the nobility will never accept. Louis accept to think about it.

And here comes the chapter where I most wanted seeing George to lose and die painfully because his plan is totally twisted. Maxime receives a letter from his father who tells him that Henriette might not have died if he had been there, implying that it is Maxime's fault that he left. Then Maxime sees in front of his house a woman abused by a man. He threatens to take him to court but the guy explains that Maxime has nothing to say about the correction of a husband to his wife, named is Henriette...Oh boy !

The next day, Maxime proposes her to leave her husband, that he can help her by offering her a place in the convent of Arras. There, she would be safe. But she refuses because her husband will find her and she is unworthy of his help. Maxime feels unable to do anything. He remembers his dying sister. In the evening, another intermission, but this time Maxime decides to act. He intervenes until the girl confesses her father married her.

At this words, Maxime becomes mad and releases all the hatred he has accumulated towards his father. George's plan to make him forget any peaceful method succeeded

Robespierre now lets his hate guide him. If Louis is the father of the kingdom and the father of his subjects, then he must pay too. He goes to see Necker, tells him to accept his resignation to become a martyr and harangues the assembly to join the people and take up arms. He explains the first attack will be at the Invalides, then the people need to take care of the Bastille afterwards, because it is a royal symbol.

Camille : Maxime notice me !

Gédéon doesn’t agree with Robespierre, he thinks it’s necessary to think of a more peaceful method because it risks having deaths. He no longer recognizes his friend

Robespierre : I assure you Gédéon, I haven’t changed. Gentlemen ! Listen up ! We've been trying to find a resolution through dialogue for a long time! Alas, all our efforts have been in vain...a pure waste of time...and why !?

Robespierre : You too, Gédéon, I bet you've seen abused children love their fathers so much that they fall apart. Gédéon: Yes...

We see him again only after the march of the women on Versailles. Gédéon tells him that George is the one who sent him the letters and played on his dislike for his father to kill the king. He wants to find the wise and peaceful Robespierre.

Gédéon : And this other one love his father.

But Maxime does not believe him. His hatred is still too strong. When another lawyer asks Maxime to save a man, Maxime takes time to think, because the man looks like his father. It’s the words of Saint-Just that convince him to give up this man because he had previously seen the damage caused by the Duke of Loire on his sons George and Gédéon.

Robespierre : He’s a complete stranger, there is no doubt about it !! Saint-Just : Wouldn't it be better if he were really your father? If he were condemned to death, you would be delivered from him.

Saint-Just : Destroying everything to build a new order, that's what I think revolution is !

Finally, Maxime is released when the king died. Gédéon has found the death certificate of his father, confirming Maxime has sent an innocent man to death. Maxime seems to be happy on the day of the king's death but when he saw George and reconised him as the girl he tried to save, everything gets destroyed. He cries because after all he has done, he cannot go back.

Saint-Just embraces Maxime who he’s crying : I will always remain at your side, until death separates us.

The last time we see him is when marie-Antoinette curses him and other revolutionaries at her execution;

I reconize Saint-Just, Robespierre, Desmoulins, Marat ? (right middle), Danton, Hébert, Mme Roland, Augustin ? (bottom right)