#they r both dumb and in love ur honor

[bones-of-a-rabbit]

seamonster n pirate get married (not clickbait)

a silly fluffy/romantic bunch of doodles from a stream the other night. i made up the lore on selkie marriage on the spot, but it's now canon in the seamonster/selkie aus that some selkies refer to being married as being 'for forever' (as in together forever). and it's also now canon that Pirate Eclipse has a big fur-lined coat that he wears whenever meeting other ships and Seamonster Reader gets flustered every time bc it's him blatantly showing off that he is their Husband and he is Extremely Proud Of This and he can and will make it 90% of his personality

[meownotgood]

MAGS HI HOW R U!!!!!!! i missed checking ur blog all the time but i shared ur gale x reader fic w my friend (they got me into bg3 and we are both so normal abt gale) and AAUAUUAUAUAYG!!!!!!! so GOOD!!!!!!!!

also got lookup aki and i fully understand all the accessories u bought for him.. i keep taking silly pics hes just such a little goober and i love holding him like 🤲 hes so cute

anyway …. imagining aki in a normal no-devils au as ur coworker .. he has a crush on u but keeps it very respectful at work, but he also loves helping u clean up/hes quick to help out customers if ur already busy. he Loves being scheduled around the same time as u and usually ends up clocking out + leaving kinda late bc he just wants to talk to you :( and hes always texting outside of work (you get flirty with him late at night but dont address it in the morning) .. i started a new job so imagining aki working w me has made it a lot more easy to manage cries

- 🐙

(also a closing thought tht popped into my brain just now: playing with gales hair and braiding it)

HI LOVE!!! I'm doing good! and I hope you are well :D good luck with your new job 💞💞💞

aw you'll make me emotional... thank you so much, I'm glad you enjoyed my fic 🫂 I'm very honored!! it was super fun to make and I'm excited to write more gales!!!!

lookup aki is pure seratonin, he has so much love in his little fat head. I must kiss it every time I see him. they truly made him so cute it should almost be a crime

aaaakiiii 🥹 aki in a no devils au will make me emotional because he finally can rest a bit... I think he would be very different but a lot more comfortable to be his awkward self lol. he thinks he's bad at flirting but the simplest things he does always make you fall head over heels. your coworkers comment on how handsome he is but he never talks to them as much as he talks to you (he has an obvious crush, apparently he doesn't know he's making it obvious). he comes up with dumb excuses to meet with you outside of work, offering you come over for dinner for no special reason at all, because he's nervous about asking you to hang out. honestly... so boyfriendly.....

and you have spare gale thoughts for me??! I AM SPOILED!!! I feel like if you played with gale's hair he would fall asleep so fast... just relaxing with you... my bg3 oc has little braids in her hair so I imagine her trying to put matching small braids in gale's hair..... haha

[babygirldennis]

im sure this has been pointed out before but... mac is literally dennis systeming dennis

[guqin-and-flute]

The Soup Incident [Episode 22]

Random Jin Guy: hey u know ur sister

WWX: everyone's mom? best person in the world? beset by terminal heterosexuality? rings a bell

LWJ: i'm sure this is more important than a war

Random Jin Guy: something happened with j

WWX: [overrunning other line] I MUST GO MY MEDDLING IS REQUIRED

Random Nie Guy: oop there he go

LWJ: wow this sounds serious

WWX: what horrors will i find what trauma will this compound what cruelty will i be met with also how did i know exactly where to go

WWX: OH. YOU.

JZX: gross

JYL: oh an audience perfect i'm sure this will de-escalate things

WWX: can we solve this with castration? tell me we can

JYL: no thanks i'd still like the option if it's all the same to u

WWX: it's not let me remove his body parts

JZX: like i'd let u near me u classless hellion

JYL: listen life hasn't been like the greatest lately had a lot of shitty carriage rides i'd like things to chill out and by things i mean namely u in this moment can we go now pls i have an appointment to cry into my pillow that i'm missing

WWX: omg noooo i'll behave i'm here to support u i'll be impartial

JYL: i don't believe that for a single second tho hun

WWX: impartial to how mUCH BLOOD I'M GONNA GET EVERYWHERE HOW IS IT  EVERY TIME I SEE UR STUPID FACE I HATE U MORE fuck u u piece o shit

JYL: and there it is

JZX: [angry sleeve flap of disdainful eloquence]

WWX: wtf

JYL: yeah he's good at those

JYL: honey ur not helping urself here he beat the shit out of u BEFORE he marinated in dark energy for 3 months pls use ur words and ur brain

WWX: WAT DID UR SLEEVE SAY TO ME BITCH

JYL: can we just go pls i like to not be reminded of exactly how much stupid i willingly allow into my life

WWX: but shijie M U R D E R

JYL: inexplicably i still want to marry him so no thank u

JZX: oh look mianmian's here

MM: u fuckin bet i am u dipshit

WWX: wtaf is wrong with him

MM: ok listen LISTEN i know i feel u trust me

JZX: time to return to the arrogance corner

WWX: UR YOUNG MASTER'S A BITCH

JYL: a-xian  n o

MM: no he totally is u right

JYL: well then he's MY bitch :(

MM: why do i bother to stay up late to practice conversations with u if u don't bother to try all that time wasted am i supposed to cover for u now?

JZX: bold of u to assume u can but go for it still don't know why tf ur all here just wanna eat my soup

WWX: HEY I HAVE A FUN GAME IT'S CALLED HOW MUCH OF CHENQING CAN WE FIT INTO JIN ZIXUAN quick someone pick an orifice

JYL: gross

MM: tempting

LWJ: oh hey i'm here now i walk slow oh shit the nice jiang is crying who would hurt the nice jiang?

MM: ok so u know how ur sister makes soup?

JYL: i never really stop it's a little pathological at this point maybe i should talk to someone...

LWJ: oh more heterosexual antics wei ying's achilles heel best wait outside thank god Xichen is mostly functional and gay as the day is long

MM: so she makes soup right? 2 goes to you chuckleheads and the third goes to emporer perpetual foot-in-mouth over here

JZX: [buffering]

MM: jfc why do i even try

WWX: DID HE INSULT UR  S O U P ?!

JYL: sorta i am soup and soup is me

MM: so anyway

JZX: [overrunning previous line] HOLD UP I THOUGHT RANDOM SERVANT NUMBER 62 BROUGHT ME THE SOUP THAT'S NATIVE TO YUNGMENG WHERE MY EX-FIANCE GREW UP

WWX: ur in love with an idiot

JYL: i'm in love with an idiot

MM: I STG UR HEAD IS FILLED WITH JUST HAIRBALLS AND LINT HOW ARE U STILL BREATHING

MM: SHE MAKES SOUP. SHE'S THE SOUP LADY. ASK PEOPLE WHAT THEY THINK OF  WHEN U SAY YANLI AND THEY'LL SAY KINDNESS. A N D  S O U P . and her murder-brothers but that's not the point rn

JZX: ...u made me soup

MM: i'm so fucking sorry pls marry him i need a competent woman to hang around with i'm getting dumber by the day

WWX: seriously this guy u love this guy?

JYL: xianxian pls romantic idiocy runs in our family it's practically traditional

JYL: i mean...yes i have 2 coping mechanisms; soup and crying neither of them are working rn tho help i don't unlock righteous fury until level 25

JZX: wow she made me soup

WWX: of course she made u soup  u human inner-thigh chafe show us the flashback mianmian

MM: [off screen] oh yeah that roll the tape jeeves

[ENTER FLASHBACK]

JYL: i made u soup bb

JZX: ur not servant number 62 go fuck urself

JYL: wut

[END FLASHBACK]

WWX: NO FURTHER QUESTIONS UR HONOR

Random Jin Guy Who Brought Wuxian: perhaps this was a [cursive writing] Mistake™

JZX: ouchie i can twirly fight countless puppets can't dodge a punch of the life of me cultivation jesus that's gonna leave a mark

JYL: GOD I WISH THIS WAS MORE CATHARTIC how does this always happen? who raised this kid? oh right me

Group of Random Jin Guards: we are all well intentioned but ultimately expendable extras fear us

Random Jin Guard: UNHAND HIM FIEND

WWX: cool imma write u a song it's called Don't Care Didn't Ask Gonna Kill Everyone In This Tent Over Soup in b flat tootly toot here comes the murder flute

Random Jin Guards attacked by resentful energy: [keyboard smash]

LWJ: wait hold on that's his shit starting music has shit been started?? wEi YiNg

WWX: are u prepared for the journey i'm about to send u on little man

JZX: i'm actually good here thanks

[unintelligible teenage screaming]

MM: HEY LISTEN U CAN'T DO THAT MURDER IS BAD and i still like him i sympathize but like...u can't

WWX: the semi corporeal black smoke demons that sublet my soul tell me that it's fine sooo

JYL: a-xian if u kill him now i will have put up with so much bs for n o t h i n g

LWJ: take a deep breath us ur words what in the actual hell is going on

WWX: fuck u ur not my therapist

LWJ: u do not have a therapist never has someone so clearly NOT had a therapist except maybe jiang cheng

WWX: SOUP MURDER IS GOING ON

LWJ: wut

JYL: pls understand it's just as dumb as you think

LWJ: ... i refuse to let soup related crimes of passion be something my future husband is known for u stop that

WWX: THEN I'M LEAVING

LWJ: wow

JYL: we're both in love with idiots

JZX: am i still gonna keep getting soup?

[this is a thing i do sometimes so if you would like to see more...]

Scene suggested by @nagisachan1​!! (I’m so sorry I forgot to tag/credit you when I posted this!)

[bastardtetsu]

wowowow. over 200 of y’all ??? insane. i know i don’t put out content all that consistently but thank you all for following my dumb lil thirst blog ! wild to think that less than a year ago i was embarrassed to admit that i even had a weeb phase in middle school, only to end up back on my bullshit in full swing as an adult writing reader insert fanfic on tumblr dot com,,, the validation i am feeling is unparalleled. so thank you ♡

i wanted to do something fun for this milestone, so i’m having a nice lil barbeque ! come get fed, grab something to drink, or just vibe w me :) all are welcome !

status: closed

○ THE FOOD ○

drabble requests : come get ur food fuckers !!! with permission i am taking a page out of my darling elle @/karasimpno’s book and asking u to send me:

a character 

a body part

a time of day

whether you want it mild (sfw) medium (suggestive) or spicy (explicit)

your preference of f!reader or gn!reader, if any

& i’ll write you a lil sumn sumn (~200-700 words probably) also i’ve updated my guidelines with specifics on who i write for/lewd, so be sure to take a look at that before you request !

anons are welcome, but if ur off anon you must be over 18 & indicate somewhere on your blog to request anything besides sfw

>> drabble mlist here <<

○ BEVERAGES ○

FMK : send me 3 characters & i’ll tell you which of them i’d fuck, marry, + kiss and include one or two hc’s for what i think that might be like ;) (you can include characters not on my ‘who i write for’ list, that’s only for drabbles!)

doodles : send me a character (or whatever u want idk) and i’ll draw a shitty lil doodle :) once again it will not be good :)

○ SMALL TALK ○

chat with me !! here’s some ask games if u need ideas, or ask me ur own questions, send thirsts, hc’s, roast some mf’s, flirt w me, the possibilities r endless !

all posts for this event will be tagged #bbq.200

ok moot time under da cut >:)

@karasimpno literally where would i be without u. thank you for diving into this pit of degeneracy with me and supporting & gassing me every step of the way, i can’t think of anyone else from my irls who i could go on this journey with and just make me feel so VALIDATED in all my insanity !!! i am so endlessly grateful for you ❤️❤️❤️ ilysm MWAH xoxoxo

@strawberryakaashi cait pls ur one of the funniest bitches on here not to mention a fantastic writer, so thankful we both joined the whorehouse around the same time bc having another newbie around to interact with made me way less nervous hehe :shypiss: thanks 4 being my sexiest beta & bestie 💞💘💖💗

@cultsumu nina nina nina i am SO happy i discovered your blog & started chatting with u, i’m obsessed with ur brain and talking with you is so great aaaaaa <3 we truly just clicked right away, i think we must be sexy aliens from the same planet or smth 👽💫🪐💕

@heauxzenji my angel daisy 💕💝💫 literally i was starstruck when u first followed me back, i love you so much ur always keeping us fed with ur writing, nsfw alphabets, p word hours, astro knowledge, suga content, all of it. AND ur the sweetest person in the whole world ?? bye get over here n smooch me 😩

@honeybunny-sawamura JADEEEE the sweetest ever, you are truly one of the nicest / most positive presences on my dash and i am so grateful for your support and friendship !!! all the hugs and kisses for u lovely 😇💓💘💖

@sugardaddykenma linnnnn truly The blog that made me officially return to tumblr & start this sideblog 😳 ur a sexy evil genius madam and i am in LOVE with u. yet another who i was starstruck to get a follow back from, ur brain is huge ur funny asf and ur the loml 🙏💗💞

@tsumurai OKAY FIRST OF ALL HOW WAS I NOT FOLLOWING U SOONER i really thought i had before i’m so sorry djhfdsj,,,, but darling your comments and tags on elle & i’s ficmas fics were truly keeping the two of us going, your support & enthusiasm is so encouraging and genuinely means the world 😻🥰❣️ also we gotta discuss the fact that i, too, am rabidly in love with rin matsuoka and have been for years plssss 😭😭

@stonersugawara​​ @miyangel​ @daishou-s​ (+ @strawberryakaashi @heauxzenji & @sugardaddykenma again) hi whores 😏💛 i love kicking it in the server with u all, & all of you are such talented writers and i feel honored to be amongst such icons :hheeee:

@ceo-of-daichi @chaotickatts @kagsbitch @aiiishiiiteru @tetsurolls @saetyrn9​ @velvesagi​ we’ve only interacted a lil bit (either bc i am shy or bc we became moots 2 seconds ago, or both) but either way I AM SUCH A BIG FAN OF YOU ALL & i am formally giving u an open invitation to hop in my inbox, DMs, or discord whenever u want 🥺💘💗💕

@daichis-kitty @keibby  @scorpiosanssexy @bobawithpomegranate @kmorgzz @waitforitillwritemywayout @rintaroutea​ we may not interact as much / at all bc i’m shy & we haven’t gotten to know each other yet 👉👈but know that i love you sm and you also have an open invitation to hmu wherever whenever xoxo

[pressedinthepages]

Shenanigans

Fandom: The Witcher

Pairing: Eskel/Reader (gender neutral)

Word Count: 1392

Rating: T

Masterlist

a/n: Reader Request [ just found r esk/read stuff and WOW delicious... umm could you do an esk/read fluff? just some goofy stuff at kaer morhen? i love ur writing hav a nice day!/ maybe some pranks? inappropriate usage of signs and playin stuff like 'who can steal more of vesemirs stuff w/o noticing' ] omg cuteeee this was so sweet to write and im living

(There is a link on my page where you can be added to my taglist :D)

Warnings: a little bit of language, pranks, but not the shitty kind, inappropriate usage of signs

Eskel is the victim of a prank, and enlists help with revenge.

    Your nose slowly regains feeling, having been in a regular state of freezing before being toted into the library and plopped in front of the roaring fire. Kaer Morhen was typically quite chilly in the winter, but none of the Wolves particularly enjoyed the cold, especially not Lambert. They kept numerous fires and piles of furs around the great castle, just waiting for someone to warm.

    You lay on your side atop one of these furs, something soft and dense that smells just like Eskel. Said Witcher is laying behind you, his arm wrapped around your waist and his legs intertwined with yours. His breath tickles the back of your neck as you both lounge before the fire. 

    “Lambert scared the shit out of me today,” Eskel mumbles, brushing his nose lightly against the nape of your neck. 

    You hum, settling further back into him. “How in the world did he manage that?”

    “Dumb bastard was hiding up in the rafters above the armory, apparently he had been up there all morning just waiting. Then, when I walked in, he dropped down behind me and tackled me to the ground, and then ran away before I could grab him. Ever since he’s started hanging around that Cat, he’s gotten much more agile.”

    You grin, a haze settling over your vision, “I think he’s good for Lambert, makes him feel more human.”

    Eskel only grunts in response, sleep clearly approaching quickly for both of you. “Would you help me enact revenge?” 

    You turn in Eskel’s arms, kissing him deeply and nuzzling into his neck, basking in the warmth of his body. “Anything to protect your honor, my dear.”

    And thus began the great Kaer Morhen Prank War.

***

        It starts innocently enough, only needing to borrow a few of the animals from around the keep. You and Eskel rise before the sun, tending to the animals before carting a few through the cavernous halls of the castle. Eskel only needed to Axii Lil’ Bleater to be quiet for a moment, since she was the only one making any noise. 

    You carefully tip open the door to Lambert’s room, noting how he snuffled into his pillow. You nod at Eskel, letting him step in to cast the same sign over his brother. Only enough to keep him asleep while you herd the animals into the room, Lambert snored loudly as three goats, a pig, two chickens, and Scorpion file into the room. You hadn’t even planned on Scorpion, but once he noticed your little parade he just decided to follow. 

    Eskel slowly lifted the signs, the two of you sliding out of the door and hiding in a small alcove at the rear end of the hall. It only took a moment before you heard a shout, followed by a bang as Lambert presumably hit the floor. Your eyes widen as you see Lambert scramble out of his door, stopping to peer back inside of his room. 

    “Oh-oh fuck. How? Shit. Okay, no problem. Just got a fuckin’ barnyard in my room, it’s fine.” Lambert turns and sprints the other way down the hall, leaving you and Eskel to finally succumb to the laughter that had been threatening to burst at the seams. Once you catch your breath, you move quickly, gathering all of the animals and urging them out of the hall. Eskel leads, keeping an eye out for Lambert. 

    You make it back down to the courtyard without running into anyone else, depositing your herd before casually making your way back inside. You and Eskel walk back up the stairs, turning into the hallway that houses Lambert’s room. You can hear voices coming from inside, mainly Lambert’s.

    “What the hell? I swear Vesemir, they were just here.”

    Lambert is gesticulating wildly, turning on his heels when he hears the two of you enter. 

    “What’s going on Lambert?” Eskel queries, quirking an eyebrow with a smirk.

    The younger Witcher narrows his eyes, immediately pegging the two of you as the culprits. “Not damn thing, mind your business.” But you can tell by the twitching of his jaw that the game has only begun. 

    Vesemir sighs, leaving the room. You can hear him grumbling about how things never seem to change, no matter how many years go by.

    ***

    Lambert then corners you after supper, yanking you unceremoniously into an abandoned bedroom. His hands find a place on his hips, looking all the world like a parent scolding their unruly child. 

    “Really??? I thought you better than this, I can’t believe you helped him get back at me!”  Lambert hisses. You only shrug, not wanting to incriminate yourself further. Lambert squints, and you can clearly see the gears turning in his head. 

    “Would you help me?” He asks. You blink, a smirk crossing your lips at the prospect. 

    You nod, holding up a single finger. “Within reason, I won’t condone anything cruel.”

    Lambert scoffs and rolls his eyes. “What do you take me for, an asshole?”

    “Well, yes.”

    “Eh, that’s fair. No worries, this is all just fun and games, I promise.” Lambert holds out a hand and you shake it, a new pact formed in the secret halls of the abandoned castle. 

    ***

    The next morning, you convince Eskel to take you into the courtyard for some training. He is gentle with you, but firm enough for the both of you to actually benefit from the exercise. Your breath comes in visible puffs in the air and you try to keep your eyes trained on Eskel rather than where you know Lambert is hiding. 

    You are doing your best to corner Eskel into the spot that you and Lambert had agreed on, but you had failed to remember that Eskel is a fucking Witcher. Every move that you make towards your goal only sends you two steps backwards, until you finally come up with an idea. 

    You hold up a hand, feigning the need to catch your breath. When Eskel asks if you are alright you only nod, slowly creeping over to the designated spot. You put your hands on your knees and brace yourself, letting your chest heave with deep breaths. Eskel comes to your side and sets his hand on your shoulder, his golden eyes gleaming with worry. You glance over to your right, only a brief moment for confirmation of what will happen next.

    Eskel murmurs your name and you look up, catching his eyes and smirking before twisting away, leaving him still for a split second, which is all Lambert needs. He launches out from behind the shed and signs aard, sending Eskel soaring into the giant mound of snow that you and Lambert had put together the evening before. You see Eskel’s head pop back up from the middle of the hill, a powdery white dusting over his hair making him look even more like Geralt. 

    Lambert is doubled over with laughter and you step towards your Witcher with a smile on your face and your hand outstretched. Eskel takes it, fitting his fingers with your own and letting you help him out of the snow. As soon as he has his footing though he growls, tackling an unsuspecting Lambert to the ground. They roll over the cool cobblestones for a minute until Eskel has Lambert pinned beneath him. You approach cautiously, setting your hand on Eskel’s shoulder. 

    “Now, love. Don’t get cross with him for a little bit of payback. I mean, we did put half of the barn into his room.”

    Eskel sighs, hanging his head before climbing to stand. He helps up Lambert, clapping him on the shoulder. “Well played, brother.”

    Lambert chuckles, rolling the same shoulder as if Eskel may have lightly dislocated it. “Same to you...maybe we should slow the pace? We won’t last all winter if we keep going like this..”

    Eskel only hums and nods, turning back to you. You smile, pulling him in for a gentle kiss to the cheek. “Traitor,” he whispers, mirth evident in his voice.

    “Oh no, love. That was my penance for helping you in the first place.”

    Eskel smirks, a mischievous glint finding a home in his eyes. You barely have time to register that before he hauls you up over his shoulder, breaking off in a sprint to the keep, your laughter echoing in his wake. 

[tcphra-blog]

hey guys!! i’m so excited to be here ( been stalking this place since it first came up in the tags but alas, real life )!! yall prob already know, but im dree ( she/her ) && right off the bat i should prob warn you, i’m already one of the slower muns in this directory,, , didn’t wanna include that cause i didn’t want u guys to Not want to plot w me, but my conscience got the best of me so!!! anw pls don’t let that deter u i literally love plotting and rping and i guarantee, if we share a ship, im either a) thinking up scenarios of them tgt and giggling, b) scrolling through ur muse’s tag fc and swooning for my muses or c) both......

enough of my rambling tho!!! below the cut are some random plots that i think are p neat to get the ball rolling, but don’t hesitate to like this post even if none of them tickle ur fancy!! we can alw brainstorm!!

✨ A L T E R E D C A R B O N. YOU HEAR ME!!! technology exposed humanity as the biggest snake since taylor && muse a was poor but In Love, but then their lover died tragically and their sleeve is now used by muse b and muse a has to cope w that ( also fall in love w muse b xo )

✨ ROYAL AU!!! i’ve written a few princes and princesses in my time, but clearly not enough!!! i absolutely love royal historical au ( modern is also ok but im partial to historical tbh ) ( edit: bit more selective since i already have 2 royal plots rn!! granted one of them is modern and fantasy-like :x )

✨ mutant au?? not so much the “we’re running from the government” mutant au, but the “oh shit wtf i touched that mug and my hand literally just went through it??” beginning phases!! don’t think that’s explored enough in krp tbh

✨ zombie apocalypse au!! “we had a thing before the zombie apocalypse started and u REALLY fucked me up and now surprise i have to save ur ass bc im still not over u get moving or im rlly gna shoot u”

✨ idol au,, , im a trainee abt to debut and ur one of the dancers and ur rlly hot but im rlly not supposed to care

✨ mafia au!! “im a police spy and im p much a pawn rn so no one tells me anyth but im sleeping w u bc im hoping to get into the mafia inner circle and... wait wtf why are you in my department pretending to be the new detective.......” spyception

✨ rich kids au!!! “im rich, ur rich, our parents say we should get tgt, but ur actually vile”

✨ for slice of life.... maybe ballerinas in a rlly competitive, world renown ballet school?? young adults in love in a place where ur supposed to deem everyone as ur competitor && enemy? yep

✨ jocks,, , originally a fuckboy jock but he’s now pussy whipped by honor roll cheerleader...... ( prob the best time to say that the kinda cliche i write The Best are dumb jocks w an overactive sex drive )

✨ rich girl + boy next door ( varchie is my shit )

✨ “ive been in love w u forever but Anxiety anw i made some half-assed pact telling u we should get married when we’re still single by the time we hit 30,, anw we haven’t talked in 5 years but im 30 now so wyd”

✨ UNHEALTHY. RELATIONSHIPS. THAT. MAY. NOT. END. WITH. A. HAPPY. ENDING. 

✨ kim jisoo/nam joohyuk friendship PLEASE

✨ literally anything ( i mean it ),, i especially love aus based on books/movies/anime and even if i don’t know it, literally just give me a tl;dr of it and i will be into it i promise

[0n-y0ur-left]

@machine-dove sent me a message yelling about my tags on this post and said I had to write the ficlet.

I’m always a slut for prompts, so...

The thing was, Steve would swear in the years that followed, he really felt like him and Bucky had been dancing around this for months.  They’d been best friends for years, for as far back as either of them could remember, but after the weirdness that had been middle school there’d been a charge there, a spark of something humming beneath the surface of their interactions that both excited and scared the hell out of them.  

Or out of Steve, anyway.  He’d finally gotten the nerve to admit - to himself and his friends and loved ones - that he had a thing for both girls and guys at the start of eleventh grade, and while he didn’t have dates of either sex lining up to ask him out, it had at least cleared the air between him and Bucky.  And when Buck had broken up with his last girl of the month, four months ago (not that Steve was keeping track), and they’d started constantly hanging out together again, like old times… well, there was a nasty little voice in Steve’s head that couldn’t help reading more into it.

Especially when Bucky insisted sharing milk shakes when they went out after school, or popcorn when they went to the movies, or letting Steve borrow his Varsity jacket when he accidentally/on purpose forgot to bring his own coat to the Homecoming game they’d gone stag to.  There was definitely something there, something more than Steve had ever dreamed of hoping for - but while one mean side of him liked to point out the possibility of his best friend becoming something even more, the other, meaner side always shut him down: making sure to remind Steve as harshly as possible just how delusional he was being.

Because Bucky, even if he was single, had never once expressed an interest in being with other guys.  And even if he had, Buck was so far out of Steve’s league that it wasn’t funny.  He was smart - honor council this year, top of their class since he’d first transferred to Brooklyn in elementary school - he was on student council, starting pitcher for the varsity baseball team as  a sophomore, a key player in every drama production Washington High had put on since he’d started there.  People were tripping over the opportunity to hang out with Bucky Barnes, never mind the chance to date him.  And Steve… Steve was just Steve.  Scrawny asthmatic with a chip on his shoulder, painfully average student and GSA representative.  He was a decent artist when people took the time to actually look at his work, and Bucky swore up and down that he was funny as hell, but for the most part Steve knew that the only reason he wasn’t regularly getting shoved in lockers anymore was because he was most famous for being Bucky Barnes’ best friend.

Steve was an idiot for even imagining that he had a chance with someone as perfect as Bucky, but he wasn’t so stupid that he’d go and risk something as important as their friendship by asking him out.

Besides, they hung out so often that Steve felt he could pretty safely pretend they were dating.  In the deepest, darkest corners of his mind.  And if ninety-nine percent of his schmoopy fan art of late was based on an AU of Clark Kent and Bruce Wayne as dorky high school boyfriends that maybe bore a little bit of a resemblance to the dumb shit that the two of them did together?  Well… no one needed to know.

It got more hits to his blog, at least.

That said, there were still nights when Steve’s stupid brain couldn’t help but wish.  So when Bucky had sent his text on the Sunday before the MLK Holiday, when Steve was already pouting about the fact that he couldn’t join him in their volunteer plans because his stupid head had decided to come down with a stupid cold, well… Steve couldn’t help feeling a little reckless.

Text from Bucky Received 09:32 PM

What do you wear to bed?

Steve had been staring at it for a solid thirty seconds, blinking and trying to convince himself that it really wasn’t the Nyquil that he’d taken earlier - that Bucky really was asking him that question.

He had to know how suggestive it was.  Steve had watched Bucky charm girls since they were in elementary school… he knew how to flirt, he knew how people took his words.  Which meant - he had to be flirting with Steve.  It wasn’t completely out of the blue, not really, but it still left Steve such a squirmy mess that he actually had to abandon his tablet on his desk and fall back onto his mattress to read it again.

Bucky had stayed over enough times over the years to know damned well that Steve usually just slept in whatever outsized summer camp t-shirt was cleanest in his drawer and either a pair of old boxers or ratty pajama pants; but he couldn’t very well say that.  Not in response to his first sext.

He bit the hell out of his lip, dismissing the thought as fast as he could, before  finally forcing his fingers to type out an answer.  

Text to Bucky Sent 9:34 PM

depends on the weather

if its summer just a black jock or smth ;)

He held his breath as the ellipses bubble appeared on Bucky’s side of the screen, rereading his response obsessively.  Best case scenario: Bucky really was flirting with him, and they could get it out of their systems the easy way… break the ice on a text screen, then make out like fiends in person the next time they hung out together.  Worst case scenario: Bucky would ask him what the fuck he was talking about and Steve would laugh it off as a joke.

He was golden.

He was really, really fucking hoping for the former - although as Bucky continued typing he couldn’t help but start panicking.

Text from Bucky Received 9:35 PM

k but what about like in the winter

do u wear warm pajamas?

What the fuck?

Steve actually started to type as much, but the rest of Bucky’s responses came in a flurry of messages.

Text from Bucky Received 9:35 PM

my mom is making me throw out my old superman pajamas and i kno theyre about ur size

i swear theyre not gross or anything

ill wash them before

if u want them

i just know u like superman and its dumb to throw them away

Steve finished reading the texts, dropped the phone onto his comforter, and covered his face in his hands because - oh God.  It was so painfully cute, so painfully Buck that he couldn’t help giggling, and immediately picked the phone back up to read the exchange again.

Before he could talk himself out of it, he took a screenshot and hit the share icon for his Tumblr account.  After a second’s debate he added the hashtag #Ur fav would NEVEr #This boy and posted it.

He rolled onto his side, staring at the screenshot and grinning like a crazy person… and then succumbed to the cold meds, finally.

Steve woke up coughing a short while later, blinking in confusion before realizing that he’d definitely fell asleep on top of his covers, with his damned contacts still in.  He reluctantly moved to the bathroom to pop them out (his eyes were already a sticky, awful mess, so leaving them in absolutely wasn’t worth how he’d feel in the morning), then stumbled back to his bed, groaning when he noticed the time on his alarm clock.

He face-planted back into his pillow, only to bash his nose against the cold, hard surface of his phone.  With a curse he moved the damned thing to his nightstand - then remembered how he’d fell asleep in the first place.  He knocked three books on the floor feeling for his glasses on the nightstand, but finally got them on his nose and pulled his phone screen close to his face, blinking in surprise when he saw his Tumblr app notifications.

With a little red bubble that read 1,000+ next to it.

Steve opened the app with shaking fingers, only to laugh out loud when he realized which post it was that had blown up.  He hadn’t imagined the interchange with Bucky, and apparently the entire damned internet was every bit as charmed as he’d felt.  A quick scroll through his inbox confirmed that at least fifty people thought they should get married.

Which… was probably jumping the gun, but was something that Steve couldn’t help preening over, just a little.

Text to Bucky sent 06:03 AM

I PUT THIS CONVO ON THE INTERNET

If nothing else, Buck would get a good laugh out of it in the morning, Steve figured with a giggle.

A giggle that stopped as soon as the blue check mark appeared next to Bucky’s name.

Text from Bucky received 06:03 AM

hmmmmm?

Steve - had definitely not expected Buck to be up yet, but he could hardly abandon the conversation now.

Text to Bucky sent 06:04 AM

I put this on tumblr.  U should see the responses!

It vaguely occurred to Steve that he probably should have asked for permission ahead of time, but it was Bucky.  And it wasn’t as if he’d said anything terrible - if anything, Steve came out looking like the pervy idiot.

Besides, none of their classmates would guess that this random Bucky on the internet was their Bucky: no one outside of their immediate friend group knew that Buck was such a dork, or would believe it in the first place.

Text from Bucky received 06:04 AM

is that ur art site?

Steve hid his grin behind his hand.  His art site.  Please…

Text to Bucky sent 06:04 AM

yeah sort of.  i post on it sometimes

it got huge responses!

more than any drawings :P

PS how old r these pjs?  if they r gonna fit me? XD

Text from Bucky received 06:04 AM

shit

Steve’s heart sank in his chest as the ellipse button appeared immediately under Bucky’s response.  He was in the middle of stumbling out of bed to retrieve his laptop to delete the damned thing when his phone chimed again.

Text from Bucky received 06:05 AM

i lied to millions of ppl on the internet

my mom isnt making me throw my pajamas out

i saw them at target

Steve was about to laugh and make a snarky reply about the ‘millions’ part (he had a grand total of five hundred twenty-three people following his crappy fan art blog, but Bucky always was one for dramatics) but the rest of Bucky’s rant stopped him cold.

Text from Bucky received 06:05 AM

they were on sale tho

i know we already did xmas presents

they just made me think of u

Steve’s smile was so wide his face ached.  The ellipses kept coming.

Text from Bucky received 06:06 AM

no they werent

they werent on sale

thats another lie

sorry tumbler

can they see this now???

Steve was dying.  Bucky was going to actually kill him with adorableness, and he didn’t even seem to realize it.  After smothering a squeal in his pillow Steve got his shit together and started typing back.

Text to Bucky sent 06:06AM

nope! no worries ;)

He gnawed viciously on his bottom lip as he typed up his follow up, started to delete it twice, then finally manned up and hit send.  

Steve was a lot of things, but he sure as hell hoped he wouldn’t ever be called a coward.

Text to Bucky sent 06:07 AM

i got about 50 message overnight tho

they all say i’ve gotta marry you XD

The emoticon, Steve decided when he saw the blue checkmark beneath it, was a nice touch.  If Buck freaked out now, he could just laugh the whole thing off as a joke.

(he wasn’t laughing while the ellipse bubble flashed next to Bucky’s name ten billion times in the next two minutes)

Text from Bucky sent 06:08 AM

we should prob start with coffee first

if ur feeling better i can pick u up tuesday?

is seven okay?

Steve stared at his phone for a solid thirty seconds, gaping in shock, before pressing the call button next to Bucky’s name with shaking fingers.  Seven was perfect, but he could hardly trust himself to type as much.

[border-to-insanity]

Barista Blush

~**Coffee shop AU because I’m fucking cliché alright?

‘I want to speak with the manager Coffee shop AU, but wait? You’re the owner?!’

Words: 1621 (Sfw, but just an asshole lady)

Enjoy**~

    Callow glanced down nervously and tugged at the hem of his shirt as he padded down the street to the corner coffee shop. The phone in his pocket buzzed and he pulled it out, quickly swiping the screen to read the message from his sister as he padded along.

    From Itchy: R u gunna finally ask her out?/??/???

    To Itchy: No Blinky, Im gonna to get ur dumb coffee an run.

    From Itchy: Aww :,( bro don’t be leik that

    Callow grumbled as his phone buzzed once more, he pocketed the device with a small scowl, not bothering to read her newest message. He drew in a deep breath, Callow could see the bright cheery flowerpots on the sidewalk outside of the coffee shop’s windows as he turned down the street. Callow may or may not have fallen for the cute barista that works there the one time he ran to get Glitch coffee because ‘Cal, It’s to die for. If I don’t have their coffee at least once a day, I swear to the gods I think I might keel over.’ So here he was, running to get the coffee this oh so wonderful early ass Sunday morning.

    He casually pulled back the doors to the shop and let the smell of baking pasties and creamer fill his nose, smiling as the bell chimed overhead and he joined the line. Sundays weren’t bad. People slept in, and today seemed to be proof as there were only two others ahead of him. He held the door open for someone as he entered, and they fell in line behind him.

    His phone buzzed consistently in his pocket and he let out a small frown before pulling it out to check his newer messages.

    From Itchy: CAL, DO U HAVE HER #???

    To Itchy:  No.

    From Itchy: GOOD

    To Itchy: Wtf Glitch.

    From Itchy: i changed my mind, if u don’t get her number and she rejects you horribly, ill lose u as my coffee bitch

    To Itchy: I don’t know if I should hate your or not right now.

    From Itchy: i just love free coffee

    Callow glanced up as the people in front of him stepped up to the register. His heart fluttered as he saw the familiar barista there, she smiled at her customer and grabbed a cup to write their order.

    The bell by the doors chimed as someone else stepped in but Callow was fixed on the cute barista. Her hair was cut short in a bob, which today was pinned back by a blue beret in her golden hair, her bangs had been streaked with blue and magenta. He put his phone back and was about to step forward as the couple stepped away but a looming figure stepped in front of him.

    “Hey!” Callow scoffed but the other person didn’t pay any attention to him, the woman didn’t even glance to him as she stepped up to the register where the barista was, and began to order. “I’d like a large, triple caramel roasted latte with an extra shot-”

    “Will the next customer please step up?” The barista paid no mind to the other customer and looked over to Callow, she grinned widely and Callow returned the smile, his cheeks flushing.

    “Hey! I was ordering!” The woman demanded, her foot tapping on the tile floor in frustration.

    “I can definitely take your order after these other two people” The barista kept her honey sweet smile, and big ol’ doe eyes on as she gestured to Callow and the person behind him.

    “No, no sweetie.” The woman fluttered her hands as if she was talking to a five-year-old. “I’m ordering my coffee, now. I’m running late for a meeting and need it, now.”

    “You can wait just behind these lovingly patient people too and I will be more than happy to make your coffee so you can be on your way.” The barista makes a small shoo movement but kept her smile plastered on.

     The woman sneered in disgusted, as if waiting was something she’s never done or heard of. “I could have had my coffee and been out the door by now! Honestly, what good are you? Where is your supervisor? I want to speak with your manager!” Her shrill voice rang out.

    The barista bowed her head, “Oh course, one moment please.” She turned and walked back behind the swinging doors.

    Callow shifted his weight uneasily, he looked over to the woman in front of him and the doors to the back room. They were still swinging as the barista caught them and added back through, this time a male following her, he was slightly taller and had his hair tied back in a bun. “This is her, Psi.” The barista said nodding from the woman to the man.

    Psi cranked out a fake smile and said “Thank you, Gamma.” Callow’s heart sunk as the barista turned and went back into the back room, he hoped that she was alright… Unfortunately, the woman’s shrill screeching caught his attention and he was dragged out of his thoughts and back into the now.

    “Your insulant barista refused to take my order and now I’m late for my very important meeting!”

    “I am so sorry about this, I am sure we can accommodate-”

    “Oh, yes you will!” The woman pointed a crooked finger at Psi “I want her fired and my coffee free now!” Callow’s mouth dropped.

    Psi raised both hands in mock surrender “I am sorry madam but I do not hold that kind of authority, if you would like I can get you the Owner and you may take it up with them.”

    She made a shooing motion, her face twisted up. “Yes yes! Go do that, right now!” She barked at him and Psi went into the back once more.

     Not even a moment later, Psi and Gamma returned through the doors.

    Gamma lifted a small hand in a half wave.

    “What is she still doing here? I thought I was going to talk to the store owner and have you fired!” The woman snarled.

    Psi shrugged as if he couldn’t care less what was happening or that the woman was practically foaming at the mouth in rage. “You told me to get the store owner, and so here she is.” He gestured to his adorable co-worker.

    Gamma’s face split into an ear to ear grin as she placed her palms on the counter and leaned onto it. “Hello again ma’am, I do believe we’ve spoken before. And I will be more than happy to take your order, after theirs.” She gave an indication to people in line and then called out “May I take the next customer please?”

The woman looked as if Gamma had just slapped her across the face, she took a step back, her teeth grit as she tore her gaze away from Gamma long enough to see Callow and the other patron in line. “Fine!” She spat out in disgust. “I’m never buying coffee here again!”

    Callow watched as Gamma tried to hide her amusement, Psi crossed his arms with a light-hearted shrug as the lady stormed out. “Gamma, why do you always do this to me?”

    He stepped to the other register as Gamma motioned Callow forward and Psi took the next customer.

    “Uh…” Callow froze up as he locked eyes with Gamma, a blush creeping up his face as he stood in front of her at the register.

    “It’s Callow, right?” Gamma said as she grabbed one of the cups by the register, he was about to open his mouth when she said. “You come in almost every single day and get the same two drinks.”

    “Oh, yeah. The medium tea and large coffee with milk.”

    Gamma hummed as she wrote the orders on the cups. She placed them down and looked back up at him as Callow handed her payment for the drinks. “Who’s the second for if you don’t mind me asking? You don't really strike me as a coffee drinker.”

    “My sister, she swears by it that without your coffee, she wouldn’t make it through the day.” Callow beamed as Gamma tilted her head to the side as she laughed.  

    “Wow! What an honor! If you don’t mind, I’d like to give you my number. I love meeting people who think so highly of my shop!”

    Callow grinned “Of course!” and graciously accepted the napkin that Gamma had written her number on, he pulled out a twenty and put it in the tip-jar.

    Gamma turned to make the coffee and Callow stepped away from the counter.

    He watched as Gamma and Psi effortlessly worked around each other as the two shifted places constantly in a synchronized dance behind the counter to grab the ingredients that they needed. Sooner than Callow wanted to admit he was tearing his gaze away and Gamma was sliding his two drinks into his reach.

“Ya know...” She mused with that cute small smile on her face. “I hear the Owner here is really nice”

    Callow grabbed the warm cups gratefully, he inhaled the scent of freshly brewed tea and chuckled. “Do you think they’d mind if I asked out one of the employees on a date? I’d just hate for them to get fired.”

    Gamma’s eyes gleamed brightly “Actually, I think the Owner gets off at 8pm? If you want to ask them yourself?”

    “I’ll be sure to swing by to pick them up” He grinned and she waved him goodbye as he turned and sauntered back out the door. The chime overhead sounded miles away and Callow began to imagine his date later tonight with the cute barista behind the counter with the big doe eyes.

[0n3-h4lv3]

10:17pm 9/7/18

FUCK yall. Heres some things that *i* have 2 say. @ morgan : i love u so much !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! U literally deserve every good thing in this entire world. You are so loving and bubbly and positive that it is Infuriating to me that you have to face any hardship whatsoever. You dont deserve that, but you are strong enough to push through it and to make the most of any bad situation, and im SO excited for your future and the amazing things you will accomolish. Youve been my best bud for like ??????? 12 years almost ??????? How badass is that !!!!!!! U are the one bitch on this planet that i truly can tell everything. Nothing on this blog would suprise ir shock u, like a bitch knows whats up bc. God i rlly truly can 100 percent relax in ur company. SOMETIMES i still worry abt dumb shit but then i tell u anyway and it works out ok. Im mad greatful for that. Even with my other besties, i think id go mad without u and our friendship. I dont always send u the most responsive texts, but i DO think abt u every day and i LOVE u 2 bits and bits and bits. I wanna have sleepovers again. And tell bad stories abt marvel and folklore characters in the dark until we pass out laughing at eachother. I miss being kids. I dont think there was a point in my life so far where i have Truly been blissful or care free, i wasnt built that way, but memmories of u and me playing and creating and laughing together are truly the happiest i have. If not for you I would have killed myself three years ago in my bedroom after school, that day that i couldnt stop crying ? I went home and i tore at my shirt and i screamed and sobbed and slammed my head into the floor, lamenting how unlovable i was, but i really did have something that kept me from giving up, and it was you! I know thats heavy, which is why im putting it here and not actually telling you, but even though liv was my big fp at the time, you were rlly my reason to live. I just pray that i can do something meaningful for you, to repay you for being there for me before i die.

Finny! : BUD!!!! Ur actually. An angel but irl. Like sometimes i see you and stop breathing for a second. And im not even talking abt that ur like hot or whatever, its like. Gosh, finn you just have this presence ? And you are simultaniously so forgiving and understanding while taking Absolutely no shit and i respect that hard. Its like rlly hard to be uncomfortable in your presence. I still manage to sometimes, because god made me and was like "yeah this bitch will never see rest of any form", but like compared to the discomfort i feel around Most people, the discomfort i sometimes feel around you is WAY less and very warm asfjgja. I wish i got more hugs from you, i know thats like Mad stupid, but theyre. Validating and wonderful and they mean a lot and feel rlly good so more of those would be cool. I miss laying w u on the couch and watchin horror movies !! I know that was just like a month ago and its not like we cant do it again, but with how busy we are and how busy Everything is im very scared that we actually wont get to, or that u dont want to. Anyway im rambling, but u DO mean the world to me, and im so so sorry if im too much or overbearing. I dont know if you know how much you mean to me ? If youre on this blog you have an idea but i dont think these posts actually paint it accurately. For the past 10 or so years ive had a pattern of latching on to people, one at a time, and putting "all my eggs in one basket" so to say. It can be a best friend, or romantic interest, or both. But regardless ! This person directly and immediately impacts my emotional state. And rn its you !!! Which sucks a LOT. Bc even outside of my shitty "favorite person" thing, you are very important to me, and your friendship is so important to me. But i havent figured out how to negate or counter the whole fp experience, and so whenever u do anything... that i could interpret as disinterest or disgust or like anything negative, it has a 50/50 chance if sending me into a panic, sometimes a full fledged anxiety attack ! And whenever you show interest or affection or anything positive, it beyond makes my day. And thats. Like weird ? And it sucks even more for you, because if you realized how strongly just the tiniest thing can fuck me up, you wouldnt even want to talk 2 me. You would distance yourself to save urself from the stress and me from the whatever this is. But i know that my brain would just pick someone else as soon as you abandon me, so i have to just keep in my head and to myself until the fp thing moves on, or u abandon me anyway, or whatever. Bc i dont want to lose our friendship. And its ok !! But it makes our friendship more complicated on my end. I unintentionally put so much stock into how u percieve me, and so you not wanting to date me for suoer valid reasons still tears at my heart a lot. Like somethings wrong with me or you dont rlly love me or whatever even tho thats not necissarily the case. Anyway. Ill be ok. I rlly will, this is something i just need to man up about and push through ! Thank u for being such a cool friend :).

MADI !!!: UGH bitch. I do love u. Im sorry im late every time u pick me up in the morning and that i complain so goddamn much. I know its unbecoming but in my defense im feeling pretty rock bottom these days and u r like a cute little ray of sunshine that drinjs too much coffee. You are so. Beautiful okay ? That sounds like bullshit cuz im ur best friend and all. But this is honesty hour. See what i wrote to finn and mj ?? Im not fucking around. Im laying it all bare. This is the post yall will find AFTER i kill myself, so im not gonna LIE to u in it. Could u imagine ??? Anyway point is: you are so beautiful, and you are complex and interesting and Capable okay ? Like ur not a background character or basic or none of that. U feel like u are, and u say ur not pretty or whatever, and its like. The dumbest shit bc if u could only see what Every One Else was getting to look at ? U wouldnt recognize urself. Also. U have an INSANELY kind heart. I cant believe u were ok with me fucking your boyfriend. I cant believe you put up with my drama. You buy me coffee ? You go out 2 lunch with me ?? You seem to take genuine interest in me, and like my company !! Its bananas girl. I dont know how i can be so vile and low and selfish and you still stay by me. I dont believe i deserve it, but ur kinda adimant abt remaining my best friend, so hopefully ill have time to become a better person for you, and 2 return the favor. I love u mads. Like, big time. Ur a rock and roll girl and id do anythin 4 ya <3

Myla !! : buddy. Oh my god. A lot of people r likr "ohh im chaotic good" or "wow shes got such chaotic energy" and its MAD bullshit. But real talk ??? U like... do have such powerful chaotic good energy. Ilysm. Ur smile is Contagious. Actually just seeing u at school makes me smile. Ur company and friendship is such a blessing. ALSO lmao ur so ??? Like coy ?? And cheeky ???? Its mad fun, ur just like a very silly very lovely bud. I know you are Also very depressed and hurting. And i hate that so much. You dont deserve it. Nothing about you has earned it, but like depression doesnt care who earns what ya know ? Anyway ur strong. Likr 4 real, and i want u to know that you can SO overcome it, and u have such a bright future okay ?? I love you ! I KNOW finny loves you! I dont know ur parents that well but they'd be BATSHIT to not totally love you. Having you in my life is like a blessing, and i rlly rlly rlly hope i can repay the good energy some day okay ? I know u dont like talking abt how ur feeling, but if u ever want to, or u think of ANYTHING i can do to help, tell me asap okay ? Bc i will not hesitate to be there 4 u, no matter how big or small.

OKAY @ all of you !!! :

I LOVE YOU MORE THAN WORDS CAN SAY !!! IM *SO* GREATFUL YOU ARE ALL IN MY LIFE !!! Literally i cant. Express how important you all are. Im crying and i would Literally die for any one of you. That sounds like a silly thing but it would be. An honor to actually lay down my life for the sake of any of u guys, tho im not sure how the situation would arise lol. I feel like i owe y'all so much. I also know that if i am going to get better, i cant do it alone, and i might end up asking more from u guys :(. I hate that, but im hoping you can understand and allow me to return the favor somehow someday.

[outlandishscenarios]

Ahhhhhhh it's to cute I'm drowning in my tears. His little heart break thinking it was a no and reader's lost confusion and the proposal ahhhhhh I've become a river of the happiness

seamonster n pirate get married (not clickbait)

a silly fluffy/romantic bunch of doodles from a stream the other night. i made up the lore on selkie marriage on the spot, but it's now canon in the seamonster/selkie aus that some selkies refer to being married as being 'for forever' (as in together forever). and it's also now canon that Pirate Eclipse has a big fur-lined coat that he wears whenever meeting other ships and Seamonster Reader gets flustered every time bc it's him blatantly showing off that he is their Husband and he is Extremely Proud Of This and he can and will make it 90% of his personality