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LAST FRIDAY NIGHT — choso kamo
welcome to the christmas tour ! take a seat in section (d) and let the show begin !
prologue. → it's been seven days since you wobbled into your apartment and almost threw up on your best friend. seven days since you confessed your love to him. seven days of radio silence as you've done your best to shut him out, hoping that the earth swallows you whole. there's no way he's going to want anything to do with you now!
but it's been years since choso had started silently loving you.
want to try sitting somewhere else ? take a look at the ticket chart again !
pairing. choso kamo x afab!reader
warnings. vírgin!choso, spítting, kíssing, makíng out, thígh kínk (mild), yuuji being a menace 😭
word count. 8k! song inspiration. last friday night — katy perry
a/n. i can't believe i don't write for choso more. i really put a lot of love into this fic but i wish i had expanded on it a bit more 😭 one thing abt me is that i love adding side characters to cóck block
mp3. think we kissed, but i forgot!
"did you hear about the girl who lives in delusion? breakups happen every day — you don't have to lose it."
you jab at the skip button like it's personally offended you, cutting off the mournful strains of the evermore bonus track mid-verse. normally, you'd let the singer's poetic misery hold your fragile heart in a pretty gentle chokehold, for she understood your heartbreak like a nobel laureate in emotional devastation. but not today.
not on this particularly dreary friday, right before christmas, where even ms. swift's dulcet agony felt obnoxiously on the nose.
pinned under the suffocating weight of your quilt, you let out a dramatic sigh that could rival a victorian heroine wasting away from heartache and humiliation.
with the theatrics of someone clawing their way out of a shipwreck, you work one arm free, waving it weakly into the air like your tragic signal of defeat.
the cocoon of your quilts and covers isn't warm nor comforting. it's a smothering trap, a quilted tomb of your own making.
"this is it," you mumble to the empty air of the apartment, your voice muffled by layers of fabric, "this is how i go."
the universe, for its part, remains unbothered by your suffering.
with a theatrical groan that would earn you a standing ovation in a one-person tragedy, you yank the quilt over your head. plunging yourself into darkness once more.
but unfortunately, the muffled strains of your 'sad girl winter' playlist refusing to take the hint seep through, like overly persistent ghosts of your bad decisions in the past. it seemed that evermore was feeling less like a balm for your soul, and more like the soundtrack to your public humiliation.
somewhere in the tangled chaos of your bed, half pillows and half-sulking regret, your poor and neglected nintendo switch lies face down like it gave up on your hours ago. its screen has long since gone dark, but if you listen hard enough, you can almost hear your animal crossing villagers whispering conspiratorially, drafting a formal petition to evict you.
no doubt tom nook is already sharpening his capitalist claws, repossessing your house with an unsettling amount of glee.
but the rest of your room is not much better. the string lights on your walls flicker half-heartedly, casting an uneven glow over the wreckage of the past week.
it's not the charming nor dramatic kind of mess that makes for an artsy photo dump. no, this is the slow and unflattering unravelling of someone who let life beat them up with zero resistance. if rooms could file restraining orders, yours would have done it by now.
teetering laundry piles of discarded sweatshirts are haphazardly stacked in the corner. nearby, an empty hot cocoa mug sits, sticky with the remnants of whipped cream. candy cane wrappers are strewn across the room, the aftermath of a peppermint explosion that made your jaw ache.
but the true centrepiece of this disaster? your phone, face down on your nightstand. neglected and on silent. the one object in this room that's probably begging for attention, and one that you've been skilfully ignoring. and yet, right on cue, it buzzes again.
lighting up with a contact number that you've been ignoring all week.
choso.
and you squint at the notification, at the glowing screen that makes your eyes sting in the dim light.
sweet, dependable and utterly loyal choso.
your best friend of over a decade. the one person that you can't bring yourself to face.
the one person that also deserves so much better than this radio silence, and yet the last person that you can humanly confront. especially not after what happened last friday night.
and here, good friends, lies the crux of your problem.
that doomed night, seven days ago, has mostly dissolved into a series of blurry and fragmented snapshots. like a bad, half-finished film that you'd walked out of halfway through.
but the lead up? oh, you remember that part with the kind of clarity that should have been reserved for more important moments.
you could still feel the heat of storming out of that overpriced restaurant, half-drunk and fully pissed off, tears streaming down your cheeks and thickening your throat.
your ex-boyfriend? well, he had been your current boyfriend, before he decided to break up with you. in public. for all that classy, emotional damage that was so in character for him.
and with a line so perfectly cliché, it practically begged to be immortalised on a 'worst breakup excuses' list in cosmopolitan: i'm sorry, baby. i just don't see it working anymore. we're just too different. oh! and i found someone else.
oh, sure. but you should have been glad to have been rid of the man-child that thought frankenstein was the monster's name, the man who commented 'oxford study' on innocent tiktoks, and called pinterest 'girl instagram.'
god, what a fuckin' loser.
fuelled by a mix of public-induced heartache and questionable tequila choices, you had practically charged across street crossing. your feet hitting the pavement with the reckless kind of abandon reserved for teenagers sneaking out after curfew.
and there choso had been in your apartment. your best friend had been sitting cross-legged on your rug, surrounded by wrapping paper and ribbons. probably wrapping yuuji's christmas gifts with military precision. he had been balancing a roll of tape in his mouth, scissors over his lap dangerously close to the family jewels. but you had barrelled through the door like a feral cat in a downpour.
his eyes had widened, a little startled, as you made your entrance. the tape had fallen out of his mouth, chestnut hair falling over his face as he gaped. you couldn't blame choso, of course. you had looked entirely like a bedraggled, disheveled mess in a storm. cheeks streaked with mascara trails, but then everything went...fuzzy?
what did you remember? crying. lots of it.
and boy, was it a show. the kind of weeping where your face contorts into a puffed-up, berry-red disaster, and you would feel the headache creeping in even before the tears had finished.
choso's arms had caught you before you could face plant into the couch. solid, broad. warm and familiar.
you had caught the scent of clove and pepper, alongside faint citrus that you had been associating with him over the years. you had been saying something, raw and desperate.
your words had spilled out of you like water from a broken faucet.
and here you were now, reaping the glorious consequences of your own unfiltered word vomit.
seven days of stewing in your own shame and regret. but seven days were not enough to undo this level of self-sabotage. you briefly considered the options: faking amnesia, dropping out of university entirely, or best case scenario — moving to antarctica and herding emperor penguins.
you groan, sinking deeper into the abyss of your covers. and then, of course, your phone buzzed again. the dull and persistent vibration drilled into your skull like a tiny, digital drill.
cho 💜
(01:09am) hey, are you doing okay? (08:42am) tell me if you need anything! (04:23pm) hello? did i do something?
you peek at the screen, trying to avoid making eye contact with the tiny and terrifying letters. your sheet mask scrunches uncomfortably, making you look like a particularly pathetic mummy. choso's sweet and utterly patient messages were a sharp control to your gross sulk, and his concern makes you want to curl into a ball and crawl into a snowbank.
outside, christmas snow fell gently, blanketing the world in a soft and untouched white. it was like something out of a dream, a world of calm and peace. peace that your trifling ass didn't deserve.
if choso wanted to speak to you, he'd have to drag you out of your self-imposed misery himself. and even if he were to arrive at your apartment door, he'd only find a note tacked to the wall. with a map leading to the south pole.
so, what exactly had happened last friday night?
the memory rolls out like an old film reel, all jagged and distorted. the kind that you can't skip, even if you wanted to. it comes in fragments, each one more excruciatingly clear than the last. the haze of vodka-infused whipped cream shots over hot drinks slowly melting away like a bad handover.
the door to your apartment? you remember that part with embarrassing clarity. you had kicked it open with awful, ragged flair. your heel slipping on the floor, and you had nearly stacked it. face-first into your own doorway, standing there with the grace of a giraffe on roller skates.
the second the door had slammed shut behind you, a gust of frigid winter shot through the apartment like a chill reminder of your situation.
choso had been sitting cross-legged on the floor by the coffee table, in the midst of complete, barbaric chaos. the roll of mauve wrapping paper teetered precariously on his dark jeans, and scissors dangled from his lap while a stripe of tape was wedged between his teeth. in between the mess of clippings and discarded tape, he seemed more like an absurdly morose-looking christmas elf that had been tasked with being santa's helper after an entire bottle of mulled wine.
but as you had walked in, or rather stumbled in, his gaze had shot up. his chestnut hair falling in messy curtains around his face, with one unruly strand intertwined with a red-white rogue ribbon. choso's face had twisted in alarm, his usual solemn manner replaced by someone who looked like they were trying to figure out whether they needed to brace themselves for good or bad news.
"hey," he had said, voice soft but sharp, like he was trying to handle fragile glass. choso had spat the tape out of his mouth unceremoniously, and he had been tugging the ribbon free rom his hair, concern all over his fine features, "what's wrong? are you okay?"
and you? a disaster. drunk, crying, furious. the recipe for an emotional molotov cocktail.
"i hate him," you had snarled, yanking off your beige coat, hurling it in the general direction of the couch. instead, your aim missed entirely. flopping halfway onto the floor, and halfway across choso's knee.
choso simply plucked the coat off his leg with two fingers, gingerly draping it over the arm of the couch. your best friend was frowning as he set down his oversized scissors, rising to his feet in a fluid motion. amber-hazel eyes flicked to yours, wide with alarm as he stepped closer, "are you hurt? is this about —?" he was hesitating, "your boyfriend?"
"no, my ex-boyfriend!" the words were ripped out of you, and your voice pathetically cracked halfway through as tears spilled down your flushed cheeks, "and 'm not hurt, cho. unless you count emotional damage," punctuating your statement with a tragic, breathy hiccup.
choso's perpetual frown deepened, as thick and unruly brows knit together, "okay," he said, voice low and steady, "do you want to sit down? i can get you some water, wait." his steps are slow, purposeful as he closes the distance between you gently, with measured care. or like he was defusing a bomb.
but you were having none of his gentle care, "no, i don't want water! i want — i want to un-date him," you wail, arms flailing as you start pacing like a caffeinated hamster, "god, i'm so stupid for dating him in the first place. and yes, i know, stop looking at me like that. i know you want to say i told you so, but he's such a —," you pause mid-rant, clawing the air for the right word, "a troll. a goblin, an ogre."
choso blinks, "maybe you should just get some fresh water in you," but there's an underlying layer of grimacing amusement painted over his quiet features, "and i didn't even say i told you so."
"no," you blurt, your head snapping so fast that your neck immediately files a complaint in the form of a sharp crick, "i don't want water. i want —"
and then, your brain short-circuited. because that's when you'd actually looked at him. like really looked.
warm hazel eyes framed by dark, sleepless circles that seemed to follow choso around like cursed ghosts. soft, feathery strands of mahogany hair that refused to stay tied back, and tumbled rebelliously into his face. that damn sweatshirt, loose and charcoal gray, and perfectly slouched over his broad shoulders. the sleeves pushed up just enough to reveal forearms so solid that they could make a renaissance sculptor pack and quit.
and like a freight train at full speed, like whee-woo, the realisation hit you. choso kamo.
your best friend in the entire world. your steady and reliable, and kind to a fault best friend. better than any stupid ex that you'd ever had.
and because tequila is the nectar of chaos, and heartbreak has no filter, your mouth decided to unleash the words that you would haunt you for the next week.
"i should have been dating you."
the room is silent, as choso freezes entirely. like someone had smacked the pause button on him, and his hand, mid-reach for a glass of water, stops cold. his eyes are wide, mouth parting as though he hadn't yet processed what you had said.
"what?" choso finally manages, the words soft and stunned, like he wasn't sure that he had heard you correctly.
you, in your infinite wisdom (or rather, drunken idiocy), barrelled on like a bull who had just seen red cloth, "i'm so serious! you're the one i should've been with all along!"
you wave a hand at him, as if showcasing him to an invisible jury, "you're smart and you're sweet, and you actually care about me, unlike him!"
choso blinks, his expression unreadable, "okay," he says slowly, setting the glass back down on the table, "i think maybe, uh, you should sit down?"
"i don't wanna sit down, i want you to stop looking so perfect right now."
there's a faint flush creeping up choso's neck, like red pigment staining cream watercolour canvas, "perfect?"
"yes!" you hiccuped, teetering over the couch, "you're supposed to be my best friend, and instead you just stand there with your stupid forearms, and your everything, and it's not fair!"
choso doesn't move, doesn't even speak. just stands there, vaguely dumbstruck. like you had hung the moon, and then yanked it back down to earth to hurl it at his chest.
"i should've been dating you, cho," you declare again, louder this time, and your finger jabs his broad chest like it was somehow his fault, "you're the best, y'know that? and you're so hot, how did i not realise this sooner?"
your best friend's expression goes on a journey of varying emotions, shock and disbelief, panic and confusion. all while his candied pink lips open and close, "uh," because by now, eloquence had left the room for both parties. his hands hovering awkwardly like he wasn’t sure whether to steady you or flee. his ears noticeably red, the flush creeping down his neck.
but drunk-dumped you wasn't done. oh no, this was your oscar moment. the hill you were going to die on. the ted talk that no one asked for.
and you were on a roll now, "i mean, look at you! you've got the broody, hot guy thing down so well, and you know that's my type. and everyone knows it, like why aren't we dating already?"
choso's mouth curls again, but no sound comes out. he looks like he wants to crawl into a snowbank and bury himself there forever, "okay, i think maybe you should sit down before you hurt yourself, or, uh, the furniture."
"i'm fine!" you'd declared, throwing your arms up in defiance just as your knees decided that they were absolutely not fine. you wobbled, and in an instant, choso's warm hands are on your shoulders, steadying you with ease.
the searing heat of his touch makes your heart lurch in a way that felt far too real for comfort. you look up at him, his face close enough that you could see the faint freckles dusting his nose, and your breath hitches.
he's close enough now that his lips could press against yours with the mere turn of his head. but you know that choso's just too kind and thoughtful to kiss you in this state right now. he also looks like he's about to gently suggest that you pull yourself together. you wouldn't know, because you've just bulldozed right over him with zero brakes.
tears stream down your face still, but they're starting to slow. sticky and hot, tacking to your cheeks, as you deliver the final blow, "if i asked you to kiss me now — like genuinely right now, would you, cho?"
you would never know what choso's reply would be, because you hiccup violently. the kind that punches your chest and makes you sway. fate was never done with you, because your stomach lurches in warning. you had clamped a hand over your mouth, eyes wide with panic.
choso, bless his heart, had looked ready to throw himself in front of you, "bathroom. now," he'd commanded, his voice taking on a rare, firm edge.
and that's right where your memory cut off, mercifully plunging you into the black void of your vodka-soaked brain. no idea if you'd made it to bathroom. no idea if you'd thrown up all over him, classy as always.
but the last thing you did remember, the thing that haunted you eve now, like a ghost tapping on your shoulder, was the look on choso's face. wide-eyed, jaw slack. like you had flipped his entire world upside down.
choso sits cross-legged on the cold dorm floor, the faint creak of wood beneath him. in his hands is a neatly wrapped gift, small and unassuming. but painstakingly chosen for you. the crimson ribbon, shiny and festive, catches the light of the desk lamp.
it wasn't extravagant, nothing flashy nor pricey. but it was thoughtful, personal. something that he had picked out weeks ago, back when everything between you two had been normal.
back when you didn't look at your phone, and decide he wasn't worth answering.
choso's thumb grazes the corner of the box, smoothing over the edges of the paper that he had meticulously folded after watching youtube tutorials. but now? the box felt heavier than it had any right to. would you even want this anymore? would you even want to see him?
choso sighs, letting his head tip back against the edge of his bed frame. it was a tight and awful feeling, something small and sharp that had wormed its way into his chest.
it wasn't just the silence. it wasn't even the unanswered texts or the way you’d been avoiding him like he was the human incarnation of bad news.
it was the fact that you were you. his best friend. the person he always knew how to read — until now, when everything felt scrambled.
he stares at the gift again, his brows furrowing. he'd been turning this over in his mind for seven straight days, wearing grooves into his thoughts like a track stuck on repeat. did you regret it? did you even remember what you said?
and worse — what if you did mean it?
that last thought was the one that always hit hardest. he exhaled sharply, running a hand through his hair, the dark strands falling back into his face. somewhere on his desk, his phone buzzed softly, and for a second, his pulse jumped. but when he checked, it wasn't you.
because of course it wasn’t.
"pathetic," choso muttered under his breath, dragging a hand down his face.
seven days.
seven long, agonising days since you'd stumbled into your apartment like the ghost of heartbreak past — tear-streaked, half-drunk, and dropping words so raw they’d knocked the air out of choso's lungs.
seven days since you’d looked at him like he was everything good in the world — right before nearly puking on him and passing out on the couch in a heap of drunken devastation.
and seven days of brutal radio silence ever since.
choso groaned, dragging a hand down his face as he slouched against the edge of his bed. he got it — why you'd be embarrassed. he, he was still processing it, the memory looping in his head like a cursed highlight reel.
"you're amazing, cho. you're perfect."
the words echoed, soft and slurred, over and over like a broken record choso couldn’t shut off. a selfish part of him — a really shameful, awful part — had been glad your ex was out of the picture. not that it was a surprise; choso had never liked that guy. too loud, too cocky. the kind of guy who thought buying overpriced cologne absolved him of skipping deodorant.
but then there was the other part of him — the one that made him feel like a jerk. the part that felt guilty for feeling anything at all. because he wasn’t supposed to feel this way about you.
choso wasn't supposed to have spotify playlists privately curated with all your favourite songs. wasn't supposed to have started buying extra hair ties, just because the thought of you stealing one was so annoyingly appealing.
and he definitely wasn't supposed to have been quietly, hopelessly in love with you for five years and counting.
how many times had he messaged now? four? five? enough that he was starting to feel like that guy, the one who couldn’t take a hint. what if you'd sobered up and realised last friday was just drunk nonsense? what if you didn't like him like that at all?
had he not spent seven days drowning his misery in tubs of mango and pistachio ice cream? enough was enough.
choso's thumb hovered over your contact for a long, stupid second, debating whether to send one more pointless text. but before he could add another "hey, just checking in," he swiped away and hit a different contact. a boisterous teenager with a shock of pink hair.
he shoots off a quick text, almost grimacing as he hits send.
Choso Kamo: Need advice. Got a hypothetical situation. yuujithegoat2003: if this is smth weird i'm not googling it for u
choso rolled his eyes, already regretting this decision. but he needed to hear an outside opinion.
Choso Kamo: It's not weird, serious this time. If someone confesses something private to you while they are drunk, then avoids you for a week, what do you do? Hypothetically?
a pause, and then:
yuujithegoat2003: is this someone a hot girl lol
choso sighed, his dry lips twitching despite himself.
Choso Kamo: Yes. Also, serious answers only. yuujithegoat2003: ok ok. do they remember what they said? Choso Kamo: Most likely not.
yuujithegoat2003: huh...so did they say something good? or was it rude? Choso Kamo: It was good. Really quite good. yuujithegoat2003: bro this seems easy, just ask if they meant it.
choso blinked at his phone, at the...almost reasonable response. suspiciously reasonable, coming from his younger brother.
Choso Kamo: And if they freak out? Or say that they didn't mean it? yuujithegoat2003: then u say 'just kidding' and blow the place up and leave the country. i can get u a fake id, i know a guy. i know lots of guys.
Choso Kamo: You need to stop being influenced by Gojo Satoru. Just because his public break-up landed on national news does not make it a premise for my own situation. Hypothetical situation. yuujithegoat2003: ok, gojo just said no one gaf abt your love life anyway. seriously tho if u like this hypothetical person, just be chill. don't be all intense and scare them off bc its never that deep.
Choso Kamo: Love is that deep. Especially when you care for the other person a lot. yuujithegoat2003: ur so dramatic bro. anyway good luck.
yuujithegoat2003: also if you get rejected don't tell me bc i can't handle second hand embarrassment. thx. gtg to work. these pizzas don't deliver themselves ay
choso glances down at the gift still in his lap, the ribbon he'd so painstakingly tied now a little crushed — much like his pride. the box stares back at him accusingly, as if to say, what's the plan here, genius? wait for her to magically show up?
choso exhales through his nose, sharp and frustrated. sitting here wallowing wasn’t doing him any favours, and neither was yuuji's unhelpful voice.
"yeah, sure," he mutters under his breath, shoving the box into his jacket pocket. he stands abruptly, grabbing his jacket off the back of his desk chair.
if you weren’t going to talk to him, fine. he'd bring the conversation to you. answers, he thought, stepping out into the cold. the winter air bit at his face, but it was bracing, grounding even. one way or another, tonight was going to settle this.
the knocking was relentless.
you tried to ignore it at first, clutching your blanket like it was a shield against all outside forces. whoever was at the door would get the hint eventually. probably. hopefully.
but no, the knocking persisted, evolving into a deliberate rhythm, like some overzealous drummer auditioning for a garage band.
"unbelievable," you groaned, peeling your headphones off and tossing them onto the pillow where they landed with a hollow clatter. if this was the pizza guy you'd ordered from two hours ago, he was wildly late, and you were too broke to tip him anyway.
dragging yourself off the mattress felt like an olympic event. your legs wobbled, your blanket fortress collapsed behind you, and your pride was buried somewhere under the covers still. at least you'd showered earlier — small victories.
your damp hair dripped cold trails down the back of your oversized sweatshirt, and you caught a whiff of cocoa butter as you shuffled to the door. that was…something acceptable at least. but then the mirror by the entryway betrayed you, reflecting sleep-swollen eyes, and the faint ghost of face mask residue clinging stubbornly to your skin.
perfect. a vision of grace and dignity.
you yank the door open, ready to unleash a pointed what do you want? — but the words lodge somewhere in your throat.
smooth. and oh, just your luck.
there stood choso, a walking anomaly in the drab matrix of your sad little existence. his tall frame fills the doorway, backlit by the flickering hallway light, clad in a baggy black tee and faded denim that didn't quite match the nervous energy rolling off him in waves. his hair was tied up in a messy bun, spiky strands sticking out like an afterthought, and of course, he looked unfairly good for someone who had probably spent the past week avoiding the sunlight.
"uh, hey," he says, his voice softer than usual — careful, even. like he thought you might throw the nearest piece of furniture at him and sprint into the night.
"hey?" you echo, voice brittle as you folded your arms tighter. the sweatshirt you were wearing — his sweatshirt, one that he had left here weeks ago — suddenly felt two sizes too big and painfully obvious, "what are you doing here?"
choso scratches the back of his neck, his gaze flickering over you briefly before darting to the floor, "i needed to see you."
"at…eight at night? without warning?"
"would you have answered if i'd texted you?"
the air between you stilled as your brain scrambles for a retort, but he had you dead to rights. with a reluctant huff, you step aside. "fair point. just come in."
choso hesitates for half a second before stepping inside, his presence making your already small apartment feel even more claustrophobic. he's taking a quick glance around, and you watched, mortified, as his eyes landed on the pile of crumpled tissues precariously close to a half-drunk mug of cocoa and a bottle of jack daniel's teetering on the edge of the coffee table.
"sorry for the mess," you mutter, your voice defensive as you crossed your arms tighter.
"it's fine," choso says, a little too quickly, shoving his hands into his jacket pockets. his gaze lingers on you for a beat longer than necessary, "i didn't mean to…interrupt."
"you didn't interrupt anything." you wave vaguely at the disaster zone that was your apartment.
choso's lips twitch, almost like he wanted to smile but wasn't sure if now was the time, "look, i just —" he trails off, his usual dull voice faltering as he pulled something small and neatly wrapped from his pocket, "i came to give you this. and talk."
you stare at the gift in his hands, shiny crimson ribbon and all, your pulse kicking up like it had somewhere urgent to be, "christmas came early? thanks, cho," you say, mirroring his words with the kind of ease that only comes from too many shared silences. "i'm fine, though. i wasn't up to much."
choso cracks a small, half-hearted smile, but it's like watching a flicker of light in a dim room — there, but not really there. "i tried texting," he says, glancing at you, searching for something.
"i know," you murmur, suddenly finding the floor very interesting, "i just wasn't in the mood for much talking."
choso huffs, a sound halfway between exasperation and amusement, "i noticed," he says dryly, and that only makes the air in the room more thick and uncomfortable.
you sigh, letting your shoulders slump as you flop back onto the couch, curling your knees up to your chest like you're trying to make yourself small enough to disappear, "so, what? you came here to check if i'm still breathing?"
"kind of," choso admits, settling awkwardly on the edge of your coffee table, his long legs folded beneath him in that way that makes him look like he’s trying to physically contain himself. his knees bump into yours, and you have to fight the urge to pull away, like you could get too close, "but mostly...i came to talk about last friday night."
your stomach does a horrifying little flip, the kind that sends cold fingers crawling up your spine. you stare at him, silently willing him to read the begging look in your eyes and back off, but he doesn't. he's never been the type to take the hint.
"i've been thinking about it all week," he continues, his voice quiet but steady, as if he's preparing himself for something big, "and i need to know if —"
"nope," you interrupt, holding up a hand, "nope. we're not going there."
choso blinks at you, like he's trying to process the sudden barricate that you've just put up. but you're so not ready for this conversation, not now, nor ever. and you'll be damned if he gets any closer to the minefield. he scowls, his brows knitting together like he's resisting the urge to push you off the couch, "why not?"
"because it doesn't matter, okay?" you lean your head back against the couch, staring at the ceiling like you can will this conversation away, "i was drunk as hell, cho. you're overthinking it."
he scoffs, his voice sharp now, like he's cutting through your flimsy deflection with a blade, "i don't think i am."
you wince, shrinking a little under the weight of his stony gaze, "why does this even matter?"
"you think i can just brush it off like it didn't happen?" and there's a rawness in choso's voice that hits you harder than expected.
your cheeks heat up, a fiery blush creeping up your neck, "i didn't mean it," you mutter.
"yes, you did," choso snaps back, with uncharacteristic heat, and he leans forward, enough to close the distance between you two, "and you know how i know? because you've been ignoring me all week. if it was just some drunk nonsense, you would have laughed it off by now. but you haven't."
you open your mouth to argue, to push back. but the words stick heavy in your throat. nothing comes out, and it must prove choso all the more right, because you watch as his bottom lip is captured by his teeth, suddenly watching plush skin split.
"do you want me to apologise?" you ask finally, voice a little too sharp for comfort, "because i will. i'll say i'm sorry for putting you in that position and —"
"i don't want an apology," choso cuts you off, and the dim light of your apartment makes the dark circles under his eyes stand out like bruises, "i want the truth."
you freeze, your heart thudding like a drum in your chest, "what truth, cho?"
"that you meant it," choso says softly, "that you meant it when you said that you wish it had been me."
the words hang in the air, heavy and electric. your breath catches, as your mind goes blank. an entire power outage, as you blink at him like a fish out of water. finally, after what feels like an eternity, you force the knot in your throat to loosen just enough to speak, "yeah," you whisper, "i meant it."
choso's whole body seems to deflate, like he's been holding up the weight of the sky. his shoulders slump, and the sheer relief on his face hits you like a tidal wave. it's almost enough to undo you. there's a sound, soft and shaky and far too vulnerable that escapes him.
neither of you move. the moment stretches out, fragile. like it could snap in half if either of you dared to breathe too loud.
then, choso is the first to move.
there's no hesitation, no uncertainty. just pure intention, like a dam finally bursting open. he shifts forward, hands finding their way to your waist with an urgency that makes your pulse go into overdrive. choso's grip is firm, but there's a reverence to it, as if you're something he's waited his entire life to touch. he pulls you to him, and you can feel the heat of him flood your chest, your blood, your bones.
"what if you regret this?" you murmur into his chest, voice muffled as your arms slip around his necks, holding onto the beautiful man like he may float way.
"not a chance," choso replies, and his voice is raspier than you've ever heard it, like he's saying it more to himself than to you.
choso kamo finally kisses you.
the kind of kiss that feels like a storm is finally breaking over clear skies, with an unrestrainted longing that crashes over the both of you.
his sweet lips meet yours with a hunger that makes your head spin, raw and real. choso clearly doesn't want to hold back, and neither do you.
his hands tighten at your waist, pulling you closer as your fingers thread through his hair, tugging lightly at russet strands.
choso groans into your mouth, a soft and burning thing that ignites every nerve in your body.
without breaking his hold on your lips, his wide hands slide down, finding the back of your thighs, making you shamefully clench them closer together.
but he's tapping them in silent invitation, and you leap into him, your legs wrapping around his waist as he lifts you effortlessly. the world around you blurs as he stumbles backwards.
and when the back of his knees hit the edge of your bed, gravity does its job. you both tumble into the mattress in a jumbled mess of limbs and muffled laughter, your heart pounding so loud, as you muster up the courage to prod your tongue at his lips, letting him part his mouth so you can take up more of choso.
you land beneath him, his weight pressing into you in the best way possible, sending sharp spikes of heady arousal through you. and you blink up at him, breathless.
choso is so close now, his hazel eyes locked on yours with a rare intensity, like the calm façade is entirely shattered now. but there's a smile on his lips, a crooked little thing that sends a rush of warmth through you.
"hi, choso," you whisper, your voice soft yet breathless as he chases your lips again, a desperate hunger in his eyes. it's as if he can't bear to be apart from you, even for a heartbeat.
"hey," he murmurs back, that low rumble sending shivers down your spine, igniting a heat you can't ignore.
you keep pressing kisses to his glossy lips, the world narrowing down the press of his mouth and how choso's hands cradle your waist like you might slip away if he doesn't hold on tight enough.
without breaking contact, choso shifts, his strong hands guiding you gently, firmly.
"don' wanna crush you," he spills against your mouth, his voice low and rough, and before you can reply, he flips you effortless.
the movement is seamless, fluid even. and you're suddenly perched atop him, straddling his thighs and sinking into the worn denim of his jeans.
he's leaning back against the covers beneath him, as his chest rises and falls in unsteady waves as he gazes up at you. expression caught somewhere between awe and hunger.
choso looks so completely, heartbreakingly in love with you that it leaves you breathless. his hands tighten on your waist, fingertips pressing with a near bruising intensity into the soft fabric of his sweatshirt that clings to your frame.
his cheeks are flushed a deep, telling pink, and you can't help the soft, teasing coo that slips from your lips as you trace the curve of his temple with gentle fingers, "is something wrong, cho?" you murmur.
his lips, swollen and glistening from your kiss, part slightly, his breath uneven and catching on the edges of unspoken emotions, "nothing. nothing, i swear," he says, the words tumbling out rough and raw, his voice pitched low and vulnerable.
his hands slide you closer, his grip firm but trembling slightly, and his next confession nearly undoes you, makes your core moisten even, "just…never done this before."
"really?" you whisper, eyes widening as you take him in — the flush on choso's cheeks, the way he won't quite meet your gaze, the way he holds you like you're something precious.
the realisation that he's never shared this part of himself with anyone else tugs sharply at your heartstrings, "never?"
choso swallows thickly, nodding once, his voice a quiet hum as he admits, "mhm."
"ah, you're so cute, cho," you giggle, watching as the man scrunches his nose in mock protest.
"tch, 'm not meant to be cute."
you huff, feigning disappointment, "and here i was, wishing you a very merry christmas eve." he whines as you lean in, pressing a teasing kiss to his neck, right where his heartbeat thrums beneath his pale skin. your lips find their home at the juncture, and you can't help but smile at the way he whines at your touch, bucks his hips up into yours.
"must have been real good to get a holiday gift like this."
you pull back just enough to admire your handiwork, a little red bloom that blossoms on thin skin, bruised petals that mark him now. choso's swallowing thickly, his adam's apple bobbing, as a soft whine escapes his lips again as you lean in, this time closer to the jaw. leaving a trail of kisses in a messy that makes choso squirm.
you press your thumb against his lower lip, feeling the soft and trembling skin quiver under your touch, "hey. open up," you coax, a teasing lilt colouring your voice.
choso looks up at you, his wide eyes clouded with desire as dark strands of hair fall across his forehead, "huh, what?"
you tap his lip again, impatience bubbling in your chest, "c'mon, open your mouth. properly," and the way he immediately obeys, parting his glossy lips sends a thrill through you. the scent of clove and citrus envelops you as you lean in closer, running your tongue over his lower lip.
you let a glob of spit fall from your lip into his mouth, with a thick thwack! echoing in the air. you deliberately miss, just a little bit, to watch him squirm as he swallows, eyes fluttering shut and inky lashes staining his cheeks.
"so good, aren't you? good at playing nice, hah," you use your thumb to smear the slick over his lips, just a bit. to watch him shudder, entirely captivated by you. it's exhilarating and makes your cunt clench around nothing. probably seeping through the thin material of your shorts and onto his thick jeans.
bang bang bang!
a sharp knock that booms at your door, enough to make your ears ring. you hear choso groan beneath you, shifting slightly so you can feel the full, thick curve of his bulge right where you need him most.
"think we can ignore that?" he rasps, his voice rough and low, the sound of it leave slick strands clinging between your thighs.
you spread your legs just a little wider over him, watching as his frown dissipates and his jaw drops, distracted by the preview you've given him, "i'm really hoping so."
but whoever is at the door has no intention of being ignored. another knock rattles the wood, followed by an all-too-familiar voice yelling, "hey! open up! delivery!"
your brows furrow, recognition sparking, "cho, isn't that—"
he cuts you off with an apologetic sigh, lifting you off his lap with surprising gentleness. choso sets you down on the quilt, pressing a quick kiss to your forehead before muttering under his breath, "it better not be."
you watch him go, more than a little distracted by the sight of his broad shoulders and the way his messy hair bobs with each step. already, you're plotting exactly how you’ll get your hands back in it once he returns.
choso swings the door open, and you hear a collective, "what the hell?" echo through the apartment — one part you, one part choso, and one part…
"itadori yuuji?" you blurt, leaning over to get a look. sure enough, there's choso's younger brother, standing in the doorway in a bright red pizza delivery uniform, balancing three large boxes in one hand and his phone in the other.
yuuji blinks at the two of you, then raises an eyebrow, his expression a mix of confusion and something vaguely accusatory before reading off his phone in a robotic voice, "uh…merry christmas eve. i have three pizzas. extra cheese. stuffed crust," he pauses, not able to keep the act up as his golden eyes narrow, "but, uh — bro, what happened to your face?"
you bite your lip to keep from laughing as choso straightens, his expression caught somewhere between mortified and furious, "yuuji—"
but the younger man's attention shifts to you, his gaze taking in the oversized sweatshirt you're wearing, choso's sweatshirt, and his jaw drops, "oh hell no. this is the hot girl you texted me about?"
choso visibly flinches as you burst into giggles.
"that's like your best friend? that's like my sister-in-law!" yuuji throws up his hands in mock disbelief, "you really keep your circles tight, huh, man?"
before choso can even respond, yuuji leans in closer, squinting at his older brother, "and seriously, dude, what's all that on your face?"
choso groans, snatching the pizzas from yuuji with one hand and shoving him toward the hall with the other, "okay, that's enough. get out."
"you haven't paid me! that's against the law!" yuuji protests, but choso grabs the scruff of his brother's uniform collar, steering him out the door.
"i'll pay you double. triple. just leave."
"my pizzas are probably cold now anyway," you call out, adding fuel to the fire.
"yeah? well, you look a bit too busy to eat them anyway," yuuji swivels his head over his shoulder to wag a finger at you with a grin, before choso finally shoves him fully into the hallway.
as the door slams shut, you hear yuuji's muffled voice echoing, "i'm telling everyone. i'm telling dad. i'm telling sukuna. i'm telling gramps, gojo, nanami —"
you can hear their bickering voices fade down the hallway, to where choso is probably gonna pack him into the car and send him off.
you glance down at the box you'd set aside earlier, your curiosity getting the better of you. carefully pulling at the ribbon, you open it to find a small scrapbook, beautifully made. inside are photos and clippings of you and choso: movie ticket stubs, receipts from late-night takeout runs, train tickets from your trip to the coast.
your chest tightens as you run your fingers over the familiar handwriting scrawled in the margins, a quote from a cheesy romantic movie that you had forced choso to watch with you a few months ago. what an honour it is to be loved like this.
#jujutsu kaisen#choso#choso x reader#choso smut#jjk smut#choso kamo smut#choso fluff#jjk fluff#jujutsu kaisen x reader#jujutsu kaisen smut#choso x y/n#choso x you#choso kamo#choso kamo x reader#jjk choso#works#jjk#jjk x reader#jjk x you#kamo choso
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sylus x reader (mc)
just a short fic on sylus’s marking instinct.
sylus would have a thing for marking as we already know he canonically wants to showcase a mark on mc especially if it’s to serve a purpose. but gradually, it becomes a habitual thing - gentle nibbles turning into prominent hickeys. ones that flaunt the beauty of his work as his fingers trace through them every time you’re near.
his draconic instinct makes this very clear but in this universe, he finds himself becoming more obsessed with it; he would purposefully leave hickeys on their neck to let the rest know what they’ve been upto. the first time he gives in to that ache was when you wore that red dress during the auction. fuck. he loved how it hugged your curves as you walked side by side with him. everyone’s eyes glazed over to the prize by your side most of the night which agitated him for some reason.
not because he didn’t like the attention you got. he was not a jealous, insecure prick. it was the way you didn’t put his mark on him yet. it was idiotic to even consider that since you barely knew him in this lifetime. but the desperation hide under his skin despite everything. he wanted you to leave your marks so that everyone knew that the grandest possession - the demon, also had his curser.
thus, started his crazy demeanour. even a slight scratch from your claws which have him sated for days. he found himself seeking your touches that lingered longer as time passed by, craving those sinful lips to gnaw at his neck till you engraved him into a feeble soul who laid his heart out, just like he once did in the past.
just to have you sucking on his adam’s apple as your hands fisted his silver roots, longing for your marks that emulated a field of pinkish-purple datura flowers on his flesh. sylus knew this ravenous feeling belonged to his instinct to mark and mold their souls into one - yet, he found himself yearning for you to make that move. he wanted you to realise that these thoughts - this hunger - made him feel more human with you. that was enough for him to feel alive in a place that reeked of ghastly sights.
#lads sylus#love and deepspace sylus#sylus#lnds sylus#sylus x reader#l&ds sylus#sylus x mc#love and deepspace#persey’s works
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𓆩♡𓆪 for the first time
― luigi thinks of you in his cell. that's it that's the fic.
notes :: thank you for all the support to show my appreciation i would like to throw a rusty screwdriver into your hearts i love u guys!!
The thing they don't tell you about prison is that it's really cold.
No, seriously. It's really fucking cold, even here in NYC where it's already cold to begin with - it's like you're in the back of a deep freezer in a shitty jumpsuit, because you kind of are. It's cold enough that I have to curl up into a ball on my "bed", knees to my chest in order to try and stay warm.
And because I have nothing to do, I find myself staring at the white, emotionless wall, and doing that sort of thing is kind of a surefire way to get your mind to wander. One of the tried and true methods, if you will.
It's lonely here. Sure, the inmates like me, they're nice, but I mean... I'm not really in the mood to socialize with anyone. This whole ordeal has sucked the energy out of me. I've been being thrown around the country for days, ever since they found me.
I don't even want to think about what's happening outside of this place, either. I'm sure people have lots of thoughts and things to say about what I did.
I wonder if she saw it.
The news, I mean. Of course she saw it, who didn't? I bet her and all my old classmates and friends are probably talking about it, about me, what I'd done - right now. Trying to pick apart my motive, maybe grieving about the life I'd thrown away. Guess I had a lot ahead of me.
Can't help but wonder what she's thinking. I wonder if she's disappointed in me. Or maybe proud. Why am I thinking so much about what she thinks of me? It was one fling, from ages ago, I can't even remember when... at one of countless parties, and yet I still see how she looked underneath me so clearly.
It wasn't really just a fling. I talked to her about it - about how the system was falling apart (if it was ever together to begin with) and I felt the need to put all this privilege I'd been granted to good use. How I felt like I had to do something. She told me about herself, too, how she'd been fucked over time and time again and how she knew countless others who felt the same way.
Actually, yeah, we spent a lot of time together, thinking back on it. She'd come over on those cold winter nights I remember so fondly and we'd keep warm together, whatever way we could find. She was kind of... below me, I guess. Lower class. Not that I cared that much, though. Didn't make her any less of a lover.
And then I went radio silent. Then I figured out exactly what that thing I had to do was, and I put all my effort towards it. I didn't have time for love anymore. I had to take the chance I'd been given and fix things.
So I started leaving her on seen, stopped answering my door, even when she'd yell that she knew I was there, stopped showing up at the places I'd loved before, I stopped everything. Dropped off the map and left nothing but a ghost in my place.
She probably hates me.
I'd like to think that maybe this brings her solace... that maybe the idea that "it wasn't because you did something wrong" made her feel better, but I doubt it does.
When I get out of here, if I even do, she'll probably have forgotten all about me, because everybody forgets. I'll be old news by the time that day comes, and everything we did, everything we wanted to do - would just be a hazy memory.
I still remember seeing her for the first time. I remember the way her eyes pierced through my soul, and I remember how it made me feel inside.
I wonder if she remembers that too.
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What it feels like for me most of the time on tumblr...
SB fans: Honestly, Conner being a Lex and Clark clone is bullshit! Freakin hate that Geoff Johns made it canon istg it's such a lame idea
Me: 🥺
SB fans: No, not you, Dom. You're cool
/j
#personal rant#i'm joking of course#i hate geoff johns writing so i get it#but i also hope you all will enjoy SB Hope Reborn#because ive put my heart and soul in that fic#so i hope you can get past the fact this headcanon isn't ideal for you#just take my AU as a “what if”: It's not canon and never will be
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Across the Universe (deer!reader x Chris)
*ೃ༄ contents: smut, friends to fwb, sub!reader, softdom!Chris x deer!reader , slowburn, substance usage, fingering, multiple fem!orgasms, squirting, high sex, aftercare, some fluff, no use of y/n, proofread
wc: 4.7k
✰ a/n: this WILL be a series fic, just to lyk. also guys i get that this is quite a niche thing to put into a character au esp for Chris who loves hip hop and rap but i just love the idea of it sm, i hope you guys enjoy. <3
this is loosely inspired by @darksturnz artist!chris character au !
Art school. Hell on earth, you might call it. You came off as an odd soul to others, you always have. Ever since kindergarten. You struggled to make friends with anyone in your class, not that you cared that much, you were used to the isolation.
Around the start of high school, you realised that you didn’t need friends, you made yourself believe they were a waste of time, but deep down, your heart was aching for some sort of special, genuine connection with someone.
You stood right beside the tracks waiting for your train to arrive. This is a new experience for you entirely.
You were content with riding your bike to school everyday, until just a few days ago you stumbled off a curb a bit too aggressively and ended up scraping your knee pretty bad, leaving a gnarly patch of missing skin on your leg that you tried your best to conceal with a large square plaster, bulging weirdly out of proportion in contrast to your cool skin, a pool of purple green bruises surround the wound.
But what upset you the most was the chain broken and the brakes in shambles. You can’t ride your bike for a while, not until it’s repaired.
You start fidgeting your fingers and feet, unsure of how to keep yourself busy while waiting. The grainy and muffled noise of your music blaring in your wired earphones could be heard from miles away. You then start to rummage through your auburn brown rucksack. Again, trying to make yourself look busy.
You were the type of person to overthink every little thing. When your stomach rumbles a little too loud, you panic and wonder if anyone overheard, using your card at the cash register, being too indecisive whether to insert or tap it. And like now, you’re too worried that you look like an idiot standing still, waiting for the train to come.
You start to nibble at the rugged skin around your nails as you disassociate into your own little world, thanks to your music.
“Your music’s a little loud, kid” a dry, supple voice snaps you out of the imaginary dream land you were just in, it makes you jump slightly. You hastily go to grab one of the buds out of your ear and shift your head to see Chris standing there, giving you a lazy smile.
You wouldn’t call Chris your friend. You wouldn’t call anyone that. He was also quite a lonely individual at art school. Which confuses you since you always thought he had such a peculiar charisma to him, and he seemed snarky and confident. You’re not so certain that he cares that much though, like you.
You’re one of the only people he speaks to properly, besides a few acquaintances that he sits next to in class. He gave you his phone number just in case you needed something from him, like help with notes and such.
Chris’ art was beautiful, they really captured all of the right emotions in one single piece. It made you admire him, look up to him like a role model. You were never open about that to him though.
Chris had always had this attraction to you, whether it was platonic or not he always found you so interesting.
The way you always kept to yourself, never spoke up unless asked to, when you sometimes crotchet in pure distilled silence during lectures you had together, your shyness, although you have no fear in killing your hearing by blasting your tunes until your cochlea was about to explode through your worn out earphones. It’s what made you so appealing to him.
You were weird, sure. You had a few peculiar interests that most wouldn’t have, but he liked that about you. He enjoyed having you around.
“Oh, hi Chris” you speak shyly, just slightly above a whisper. You struggle to find eye contact with Chris as your back to staring down, tangling your fingers together nervously. “Hey doll, never thought I'd see you here. You’re always on your little bike” he chuckles softly.
You come to the realisation that Chris has to travel by train. It makes you wonder how close or far he must live from school, maybe somewhere close to you. “My bike broke. I'm taking the train until it’s repaired” you mumble almost incoherently. Your lips barely move to enunciate the vowels and consonants falling out of your mouth.
“Oh, that’s a shame” Chris replies, studying the assorted freckles on your face without trying to make it look too obvious. There’s an awkward, jarring silence between the two of you. It's deafening to say the least.
“What’re you listening to anyway? From what I heard, it sounded nice” he inquired, snapping the uneasy feeling from the quiet. His voice was low and casual, the slight smirk on his face shifts into a kind beam. “J-just Fiona Apple” you mutter.
You’re not sure why, but Chris makes you so nervous whenever he’s around. With others, you’re just distant, emotionally unavailable.
Chris however, makes you feel a weird tingling sensation all around your sternum. Like a cocoon blooming into a hive of butterflies fluttering through your ribcage.
“Ooh, I've never heard of her before. Y’gotta put me on her songs” his voice pours out nice and smooth like silk. The request makes your face flush reddish pink and you twist your head around, completely concealing your embarrassment from him.
Quickly after, you turn back to face Chris and look up at him for a split second through your long mascaraed eyelashes.
“Sure, I can do that” you mumble, a smile creeping up your mouth. Chris’ eyes widen at the subtle but rare sighting of something of a positive expression on your face, which makes his mouth curl into a toothy grin.
“Wow, was that… a smile?” he looks down at your figure, he examines how your chest quickly rises and falls to match the timid giggle at his dry but charming sarcastic joke.
You turn your head to fully face Chris, switching in between his icy blue irises to the train rapidly approaching. “After class, I'll put on one of my main playlists for you. I-i’ll maybe show you more than fiona apple” your voice slowly transforms from a hushed, mousy tone to almost a shout as the train finally comes to a screeching halt.
“Sounds like a plan, you have my number, don’t you? Message me, we can link after class. We can take the train back to my place” he yells, trying to make himself heard to you over the noise of everyone’s footsteps clamoring close to hop on the train.
You opened your mouth to interject and speak up but the doors of the train were already open, Chris swiftly turned forward, breaking the stare he held upon you the entire time you waited together to step on the train. You quickly followed before the doors closed. You decided to give up on trying to debate, you’re going over to Chris’ house.
Class was over, finally. The thought of spending time with Chris at his house so suddenly after only being strictly acquainted jumbled up your thoughts completely. You rub at your forehead and muddle your bangs about as some kind of way to shake the nerves off.
You don’t know why you’re so anxious about the whole idea. It was just a friendly hang out with Chris. Just a friendly hang out with Chris.
You rush to pack all of your pens and pencils back into your rucksack and speed out of the classroom with a gallop in your step. You’re scrambling for your phone after you push your portfolio into your locker to text Chris that your class is over and that the two of you can meet now.
‘i’m out now, where shall we meet?’
read at 12:32 PM
‘meet me outside of the courtyard, i’ll take you home with me afterwards :)’
You’re stuck waiting awkwardly again, until you see Chris’ figure come into your frame of vision. He gives you a benign smile which makes your eyes light up ever so slightly. He nods his head up faintly as a sort of “Hey” gesture. You look up at him with a gentle shimmer in your stare as he approaches you.
“Hey doll, ready to go?” you missed hearing his deep, raspy voice. It had only been a few hours, but you longed to hear it again. You loved the slight growl he adorned in his vowels when he spoke. It was almost primal.
You never thought about it much, but you thought a lot of the things Chris did ever so naturally, were quite attractive. “Yeah, I'm ready”
The two of you stroll side by side in yet another awkward silence. Chris drifts his eyes elsewhere to the foreground of hedged bushes. You however, soaked up the sound of both of your footsteps trudging into the crunchy gravel below.
“So, how come you’re so quiet, kid? I rarely hear you speak. And you’re always on your own at lunch” Chris pipes up. The question snaps you back into reality. Mostly because you were miles away, but also because no one has ever really asked you that question wholeheartedly, just slightly concerned teachers and patronising bullies.
“I-i don’t really know… I don’t have a lot to talk about with others, I guess” your voice is ever so soft to Chris’ ears. “Oh come on, don’t give me that shit. You’re more interesting than that” he scoffs. “‘You think so?” your eyes wide and dilated with curiosity.
“I know so, you need to stop putting yourself down like that. You’re cool”
The whole portrayal of the compliment makes your heart pound inside your chest, enough to make your rib cage rattle. There’s an airy feeling in your stomach which almost makes you feel sick, but not the bad kind. It tells you that you’re enjoying yourself and that you’re excited for what’s to come next.
“How…how about you then? I don’t see you with many people at school either” The question he’s heard oh, too many times, similar to your predicament.
“Ehh, I just don’t fuck with big groups of people like that” he seems truly careless by the way his expression doesn’t move one bit. Whereas you, a feeling of hurt lingers in the hollowness of your bones whenever people stray away from you with looks of disgust. It makes you go green with envy.
You soon make it to the station, no later than that you step on the train alongside Chris. The two of you sat next to each other on one row, your shoulders ever so slightly touching every now and again.
Chris rests into a manspread as soon as he sits, though he makes sure he’s not taking up too much space, for your sake.
You take your wired earphones out of your knitted cardigan pocket to prop the right one in your ear and the left leering around Chris’ face, offering it to him. To which he gladly accepts. He has to inch slightly closer to not put tension on the wires between you two, making his shoulders touch yours indefinitely.
You scroll through your playlists to spot the one you were playing in the early morning. You scroll through the songs to play ‘Across the Universe’ by Fiona Apple.
The somber guitar playing makes you sink into your seat as your head sways to the window beside you, gawking at the grey sky and green and orange pine trees zooming by. You sing the mellow lyrics of Fiona’s winsomely but quietly, perfectly in key. Leaving Chris in a trance.
While you’re looking away, he takes the chance to admire every little thing about you. Your pouty lips smudged with lipstick. The way your ears perk out slightly from underneath your lively, beautiful locks, your collarbones migrating with every rise and fall of your chest, your nail polish chipping off into funky patterns as you fidget with your fingers and bite the cracked, outgrown ends off your nail bed.
The song comes to a close and fades into nothing. You go to press pause before the next song in the queue plays.
“So, what did you think?” your irises huge with passion as you turn to Chris. Who was whacked back into the real world after being heavily enthralled by just your existence.
“It was beautiful, very you” Chris beams a cute smile. Your expression lights up, enough for Chris to notice. He knows you don’t know how to take compliments, but he at least knows your expression is somewhat readable so he knows how you’re feeling.
Chris soaks in the moment and stares down at your lips again, before snapping his eyes up to meet yours. “Not long until our last stop” you maunder.
Chris sighs to himself and rubs his eyes with a quick “yep.” He offers your earphone back as you both stand up and wait for the train to break into a complete stop after a few seconds.
You both hop off and you twist around to find your pocket to put your earphones back in. Chris leers at you with both of his hands in his pockets, waiting patiently as you fix yourself up before walking again all the way to his house.
After natural and laid-back chit chat during slow walking, you finally reach Chris’ house. The door was a dark forest-y green. Which you found quite pleasing to look at.
Chris shuffles in his pockets to obtain his house keys, they jangle about as he carelessly swings it into the keyhole of his door to unlock it. He pushes the door open by grasping the knob and twisting it. He turns to you and beckons you with a sway of his head, manoeuvring you to come inside first before him.
Chris clamours up the stairs and you follow like a lost puppy behind him. He lazily nudges his bedroom door open with his shoulder and face plants into the bed, twisting his head to the side after a minute to let out an exasperated sigh.
You invite yourself to sit on his bed in proper etiquette form, unsure of what to do with yourself while Chris lays still for a second.
He kicks his shoes off and reaches out to his bedside table to grab a small, ceramic pot with psychedelic patterns embroidered into the pottery.
He pops open the lid to take out half a joint. He extends his hand back into his pocket to have a lighter in his grasp whilst the other hand places the butt of the joint right into the opening of his mouth.
You simply do or say nothing but watch. Your eyes follow the way his hands cup the lighter before he realises he needs your approval to smoke.
“Shit- uhm, are you okay with me smoking, doll? I won’t if you don’t want me to” he purrs in a sympathetic tone, half his words muffled by the spliff clasped between his lips. “Oh, no, I don't mind at all. Do as you please”
It was strange because you genuinely didn’t care about him smoking in front of you. You weren’t the type to judge people to do such unfaithful things, like doing drugs, however whenever you were talking to someone who was vaping and they had the audacity to blow it all in your face, making you cough. Yeah, that made you seethe.
But Chris was different. It didn’t surprise you that he smoked, of course. You’re unsure of what this feeling was, but there’s a strange comfort in seeing Chris trust you enough to where he wants to smoke weed in front of you. It made you feel warm seeing Chris in a somewhat vulnerable state.
“D-do you live on your own, Chris?” you inquire, you noticed that no one was home to greet him when you first came in.
“Yeah, I moved out of my family home as soon as I turned 18. Nothing personal, it was just a spur of the moment thing, I guess. I had a ton of money saved up ever since I was, what, like… 14? And I wanted to live closer to art school, so…” he rambles, mumbling with the joint still in his mouth, clicking the lighter alight. Taking the smoke into his lungs.
He pinches the roach out of his mouth as he exhales. A cloud of smoke lingers and the scent of marijuana invades your senses. You don’t complain much though. You think it smells quite pleasant.
He stretches his hand out towards you, blunt in hand. “Want some?” his eyes already low and bloodshot red with that same faint smile plastered on his face.
You hesitate, you glance at Chris’ red orbs then back down to the joint. “J-just one puff. And then I'm done” you snatch the roach off of Chris and take a long drag. You were unsure of how much to take in. A good bunch of the joint fell into your lap in ashes from the amount you took.
“Hey! ‘Fuck you doin’ kid, are you trying t’green out on purpose?” he hisses, plucking the joint from out of your hand. A vast amount of smoke comes seeping out of your mouth and you hum in ecstasy.
“Oh…wow…” you exhale in awe. It hits you like a ton of bricks. Your mouth goes dry and you let out a raspy but loud giggle at Chris’ scolding from earlier.
“Your Bostonian accent comes out a lot when you’re pissed” you snorted, your cheeks hurting from the huge gleam on your face, your high eyes wrinkled. Showing your full set of pearly whites to him. You’re not used to smiling this much.
Chris’ bothered expression softened into a smirk that he tried to hide with a hushed “shut up.” looking away, indistinctly laughing at your snarky, non-sober remarks.
“How did you even know I was from Boston anyway? I haven’t told anyone that shit. ‘You been stalking me? Hm?” he snarls slyly. Squinting his eyes at you with a smirk.
“Uh, no. I just know what a Boston accent sounds like. Don’t flatter yourself” you snap back smiling whole-heartedly, lightly punching Chris’ arm. He fakes being hurt with a hyperbolised “ow…”
You both chuckle at each other’s jokes until it eventually dies down, you rest your head against the wall staring at Chris with your huge blood-like optics. The drug melted away all of your timidness from before, making your nature more carefree in front of Chris. He doesn’t complain though.
You were only inches away from Chris’ stature. You took in all of his features.
His flaky lips that ran dry from cotton mouth, no thanks to the drug. His stubble that rests on the sharp ridges of his cheekbones. His adam’s apple bobbing up and down every time he swallowed. As you soaked in all of his devilish features, you took in your bottom lip in between your teeth. He looked too good to be true.
“It’s rude to stare like that, doll” he coos, inching his body closer and closer to you. You were centimetres away from him. The tip of his nose nearly grazing yours.
“Chris..” you confide, you’re breathless just by sitting still. Chris’ musky, natural scent mixed with the weed drives your head spinning. He replies with a sultry “Hmm?” with a slow tilt of his head.
It was like a time bomb ticking inside of your head. Everything about Chris made you burn up, and you were ready to explode at any second.
All at once, your body moves on its own. Your head rushes forward and your lips clash into his. His body was taken aback by the sudden manoeuvre, his hands knuckled into his sheets behind him. You’re kneeling in between his legs, smothering light kisses on his now wet lips.
No sooner than later, Chris’ shock simmers down. He reciprocates your movements and the intimate moment shifts into a sloppy makeout session. Both of your heads tilting between clumsy kisses to find easier access to one another’s lips.
His slick tongue slips through your lips, prodding at your teeth to invite himself in, which you accept dearly. The warmth of the muscle twisting inside your mouth makes your breath hitch inside your throat and you whine into the soaking kiss.
“Fuck, I’ve been wanting to do this ever since I laid eyes on you. You’re just too cute” Chris sighs, lightly pushing your body back. Your back fully resting into the mattress. The instant motion makes you gasp. Chris reaches for one of your hands and intertwines his fingers with yours, his palm resting on your own.
“‘You okay with this, baby? We can go slower if you’d like” he purrs.
His body fully towering over yours which makes you blush and attempt to look away. His stubble tickling the tender skin on your face, the feeling of his hot breath making you shiver. You say nothing, you simply feed your bottom lip in between your teeth.
Unsure of what to say. Your clasp on Chris’ hands tightens. Telling him that you want to keep doing whatever this was.
Chris moves his knee to rest in between your legs intentionally. He smirks into a sloppier kiss than before. Your tongues twirl and swivel together. Chris whines into your mouth at the sensation. Making the sickly stir you had in your stomach pool down to your folds. Your clit almost forms a heartbeat of its own.
He instinctively reaches up your skirt and you pant breathlessly as your lips are still connected with his. Chris lets go of your hand to adjust himself, he plops down on the mattress next to you. Hand still up your skirt.
The pads of his fingertips rest on the waistband of your panties. Before he takes any more action, he asks for your reassurance and consent. “Do you still wanna do this, doll?”
You nod briskly with a whiny “Yes” full of desperation.
Chris’ enamels sink into his bottom lip, a tent starting to form inside his jeans just at the sight of you vulnerable like this. Aching and twitching for any kind of friction.
He starts rolling his hips lazily against your thigh as he dips his fingers into your panties and sinks them into your slick heat. You let out a loud whimper from the sudden euphoria pulsing all around in between your legs.
“Fuckkkk. Wet already, baby? You jus’ couldn’t help yourself, could you” He coos, peppering a light kiss on your sweaty temple.
Chris swipes his fingertips on your clit swiftly. Your back arching and your hips bucking up, begging for more pressure on your swollen bundle of nerves. You feel Chris’ rock hard cock poking into your thigh through the denim. You hear his breath shudder with faint whimpers every time he presses into your leg, making your slippery cunt wetter and wetter by the second.
Chris slips his middle finger inside the opening of your sloppy pussy. Your body jolts as the pleasure is like electricity zapping across your nerve endings.
“Oh my god” you sobbed. Chris groans low and tired out as he sticks his ring finger inside and curls them upwards, feeling the slight roughness of your tender g spot makes his tip leak a clear liquid through his boxers, seeping into the rough fabric of his pants.
“Chris…” you whimper helplessly, melting into his touch. “Shh… it’s okay baby, I know it feels good.”
His fingers flicking relentlessly inside your sloppy cunt makes your stomach tighten. He can’t help but take in how much you writhe under his touch.
Chris loved making you feel good. He didn’t need you to do anything to him, just seeing you drown in pleasure that he offers to you is enough to get him off. This was also quite an ego boost for him.
The mysterious weird girl, stone cold expression all day long. Keeping her distance from everyone. Her music on blast. Unable to hear the background noise that is her life that she despises so much, now a hot squirming mess just from Chris’ fingers inside her. And he fucking loved every second of it.
“I-i’m gonna cum” you cry out, the knot tangled in your stomach about to snap loose. Chris’ digits pistoning into your soppy heat with constant fervour tips you right over the edge.
“Yeah, c’mon baby. Cum for me. Cum for me like a good girl.” Before you knew it, your pussy twitched open from the release of Chris’ fingers. Spraying out a glistening liquid all over his hand and on his sheets. You let out a pained shriek at the extreme intensity of the orgasm that had just washed over you. Your limbs left shaking and your hips thud back into the soft mattress as you come back down from your high.
“Holy fucking shit… I never would’ve guessed you could squirt. Always the quiet ones, huh…”
Within an instant, you could feel Chris’ fingers push into your sensitive cunt again. Your eyes shoot open and your jaw falls slack, your mouth agape into an ‘o’ shape.
“I-I jus’ came…” you can barely enunciate words properly. The stirring of Chris’ fingers inside your pretty pink hole has you seeing the stars across the universe.
“I know baby, be a good girl f’me and cum again. I know y’got another one in you…” not long after, another orgasm creeps up from the lowest pits of your stomach shooting all the way up to the tip of your skull. Your delicious liquid makes a wet spot on Chris’ sheets once again. Your eyes rolling back whilst your hips shudder from the vigorous pleasure.
“God, you’re so fuckin’ sensitive for me baby, your pussy must feel so good right now huh.” he growls, flattering himself and you by the way you came almost instantaneously.
You peel your eyes open to view Chris sucking on his fingers, savouring your earthy taste. He whimpers with his fingers in his mouth, making a complete mess of himself with his spit smothered all over his puffy lips, before he pulls them out.
“Y’taste sooo fuckin’ good doll” he rasps out, pecking a sweet kiss on your lips. You whine into his mouth. The taste of your wetness lingering on his breath.
“I c-can’t do it anymore, I can’t cum no more…” you sigh. Tears brimming your eyes, staining the black mascara into your cheeks. Chris wipes away the wetness on your face as reassurance.
“Oh, c’mon doll… Just one more? Please, I can’t get enough of it, it’s so hot..” he pleads and begs. His words are velvety and slick, making your clit throb.
You nibble the skin off of your lip and spread your thighs open once more. “Thanks baby, ‘ppreciate it.” He leaves another sweet kiss on the side of your face. Your bangs stuck in strings to your forehead beaded in sweat. Melting half your makeup off.
You looked like a mess. Chris enamored every little bit of it, though. He sinks his digits in, one last time. His cock ached at your teary eyes and the feeling of a pulse inside your puffy pussy. You reach to grab the fabric of Chris’ longsleeve.
“I really like you, Chris…” you murmur. Your voice is sultry but sweet, sticky like honey to Chris’ senses. “I like you too doll, I always have” he leans in once more to give you another tender kiss. This time, it was much more intimate.
Your free hand slithers through his brunette curls. His fingers crimp up inside your heat and you gasp in between kisses.
“I’m gonna cum again…!” You pull away from Chris’ face and grit your teeth. Your knuckles almost go white from clamping down onto Chris’ shirt so tight. “That’s a good girl. Cum f’me one last time…”
Before long, Chris had you cumming all over his bed and on his fingers for the third time. His sheets almost flooded in your liquid. Chris lets out a satisfied sigh as he’s proud of himself for making you cum three times in a row, that and the view he’s getting is fucking perfect.
Your mouth is like sandpaper, your bruised legs still shudders as you’re coming down from your third orgasm this evening.
“How was it, doll? Did I make you too tired?” you nod your head fervorously. Your eyes barely open with your face soaked with tears. You see Chris reach for a bottle of water in your peripherals.
“Drink up baby… you’re gonna need it” he feeds you the bottle as you sit up slightly.
“Oh yeah, can you send me your playlist later, doll? I really enjoyed that song, as much as I enjoyed spending time with you” he brushes your sticky strands of hair out of your face and holds you in his arms, you roll into his embrace lazily. Your voice now replenished by the water Chris gave you.
“Yeah.”
*ೃ༄ a/n: oh my gosh i love this au sm i can’t wait to make a part 2 of this
I love you all sososososo much i love deer!reader soooo much
have a holly jolly christmas !
divider creds: @/cafekitsune, @/dollywons, @/fairytopea
#ohmanareyoucerealfic ꩜#ohmanareyoucerealcharacterau !#christopher sturniolo#nicolas sturniolo#matthew sturniolo#matt sturniolo#chris sturniolo#nick sturniolo#chris sturniolo smut#chris sturniolo x reader#sturniolo triplets#sturniolo smut#smut#sturniolo#Spotify
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i posted my donations for @alliwantforchristmasislou earlier, but i wanted to make a separate post about how much bucktommy changed my life this year.
before i tell my personal sob story, i just wanna thank all my bucktommy friends for making me smile again. to my 20 tommy fans and my lou fuckers, you really did save me 💜
@shannondiazs @half-oz-eddie @theweewooshow @louisjude @xofemeraldstars
@disaster-j @reginamillls @wikiangela
@tommykinard @aringofsalt @apartmentsmoke
@kiinard @ohithankyou @shaunashipman
@tommykinard217 @louvemeanyway @loucifersbitch
@kinardevans @louferrignojrofficial @teenmaximoff
and to all the people that support my silly little posts and icons, thank you, i appreciate you so much!
i started watching 911 in 2020, but i never really connected with the fandom. I always felt like I got to it too late, and everyone already had their friend groups, so I just watched the episodes and read fics on my own.
at the end of 2022, i moved to portugal, because my mom got a brain tumor and she was living there, and my husband got accepted to a doctorate program there, so it made sense for us to move. after we moved, my mom lost her pension because of the stupid brazilian government, and my husband wouldn't get his scholarship approved because of the stupid portuguese government, so i had to financially support everyone. that made me work 3 times as hard, which led me to a terrible burnout and depression, but i couldn't stop working or we wouldn't have any money.
i kept going kinda like a zombie, just working, sometimes eating, sometimes sleeping, nothing sparked joy anymore. until april 4th 2024, when bucktommy kissed for the first time. i was still watching 911 through all of this, but i wasn't checking tumblr anymore, but that was such a shock that i had to see what everyone was talking about.
and what i found was a bunch of people that were just as happy as i was to see buck be happy. as we got to know tommy, we fell so deep and so hard for him. and we fell even deeper and harder for lou. we joke that someone put drugs on that man, but his big heart and big tits bewitched us, body and soul.
i found my people, i found a reason to smile again. i was inspired to create for the fandom, something i hadn't done in over 15 years. seeing such a loving relationship and a positive queer representation gave us all hope, and that's why the breakup hurt so much.
let's hope that 2025 brings them back to us, and if it doesn't, we'll always have each other 💜
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You hummed quietly to yourself in the kitchen of the small two-story house you and Daryl occupied in Alexandria. After a harsh, intense period of fighting with not only the undead but the Saviours as well, it was nice to have some semblance of peace in the aftermath. It had been a grueling process to rebuild the remains of Alexandria from the ground up, but with the help from everyone in the community, as well as from people in other communities as well, Alexandria stood tall and proud once again. With all the houses rebuilt and with additional houses built as well, you and Daryl had opted to claim one of the smaller properties as your own, a sanctuary away from the bustling crowd of Alexandria after an exhausting day.
The paragraph of my first ever work in the The Walking Dead writing community. The story that kick-started this blog into what it is today. in SICKNESS and in health, posted February 25th 2024. Honestly, it feels like a lifetime and no time at all has passed since then. It’s such a surreal feeling.
When I wrote that story, I definitely did not expect anything to come of it. I remember being on season seven at the time of writing that, and feeling my heart break with what happened to Daryl in the sanctuary. I wrote that little comfort fic for myself at first, just to feel better about the hurt that was season 7, but then I thought “hey. I might as well post it. I’m sure someone out there will enjoy it.” And that’s what I did. I posted it and exited Tumblr directly after, and did not touch it again for a whole day. And when I did…
I saw my notifications showing me a bright blue ‘99+’. And I had gained a whole 20 followers, putting my follower count at the time at 29. Seeing that made my heart burst with joy. I could not believe that people were actually enjoying what I wrote. Also, I remember scrolling through my notifications and stopping dead in my tracks when I saw that @angelwings-crossbowstrings, aka one of the people whose stories inspired me to try my hand at writing for Daryl in the first place, had not only liked it, but reblogged it and followed me. My poor mom got bombarded with “holy shit, this amazing writer just followed me!” messages that day. She had no idea what I was yapping about, but she was supportive.
After that, I tried it again. Wrote something, posted it, and it got notes. And then again. I wrote my first installment for my “Shopping Spree, Hangout Dreams AU” as my third ever fic, which is still my most popular series to date. That fic also served as the gateway to people sending me their amazing ideas via requests.
And the hits just kept on coming after that. And I still can’t believe that I get to say that people like my writing. Take that, my third grade English teacher.
This year had its ups, and it definitely had its downs. Due to the fact that I was so excited to get this blog up and running, I pushed myself too hard a lot of times, and I have burnt myself out on more than one occasion. I told myself that if I didn’t pump out fics every day, people would be disappointed in me. I had set high expectations for myself, and I felt so bad when I couldn’t live up to them. However, through lots of reassurance and guidance, I realized that it was unhealthy for me, mentally speaking. I was pushing myself way too hard, and I needed to slow down if I wanted to keep the fun of writing alive for me.
This year, I also had a moment where I was scared. I found something that made me realize that my blog could have potentially been the next target for a known plagiarist, and it made me fearful. I pour my heart and soul into every story that I write, so having the safety that I associate with writing threatened was a terrifying thing. However, thanks to the vigilant creators behind the @fanfic-plagiarism-watchdog blog, my worries were settled. (Although I still keep my eyes peeled for any suspicious activity on that other blog.)
Now, for the ups. Let’s get the negativity out of here. We’re ending this year with a bang.
I never celebrated this, but I reached 1k followers this year! It happened so quickly, I barely had time to register and think of how to celebrate it. At the time of posting this, I’m a little less than 70 followers away from 2k, and I just wanna say thank you to each and every one of you for deciding to stick around. Your love and support means the world to me.
I had a work of mine surpass 2000 notes! That number is still so surreal to me, oh my god.
Not something writing related, but I moved this year. It was definitely a good decision and I don’t regret it at all. It was hard moving everything from one house to the next, but in the end, it was definitely worth it.
I also met some amazing people because of this blog. I still can’t believe that I get to say that I know them on a somewhat personal level. @lazyneonrabbitt, @angelwings-crossbowstrings, @enlightndone, @shadowcitrine, @dixondystopia, @dix0nvix3n, @deansapplepie, @snailss, @remnantsofsleep and @yevmarie.
And I can not forget about my girl @holdmytesseract. You’re one of my absolute favourite people ever and I love you. Keep being your awesome self, sweetheart.
And @thevegandarkelf. I still can’t believe that I get to talk to her on a daily basis. What started out with a comment about how our angels (our OCs, Vec and Georgie) would have been friends in an alternate universe spiraled into, if I may be so bold, a friendship. Taylor has become a huge part of my day-to-day life, and I honestly can’t believe that I get to just text you randomly throughout the day about anything at all. I love you.
I would also like to give the biggest of thanks to @daryl-dixon-daydreams. Her fic entitled “Plan A” was the first ever work of Daryl I read here on Tumblr, and she was one of my biggest inspirations to start writing after my long hiatus. So thank you for blessing us with your amazing writing, and I can’t wait to read more of what you put out.
Now, to finish this off, I thought I’d give my personal favourite fics I wrote this year:
Daryl Dixon:
Hazelnut—Daryl Dixon x Fem!Reader
Was It was Boogeyman?—Daryl Dixon x Fem!Reader
Shopping Spree, Hangout Dreams—Young!Daryl Dixon x Fem!Reader
Needs To Be Perfect—Daryl Dixon x Fem!Reader
Crushes Are For School Girls—Daryl Dixon x Georgianna Hawkins (OC)
Scud Frohmeyer:
Look At Me—Scud Frohmeyer x Fem!Reader
Perfect End—Scud Frohmeyer x Fem!Reader
Performance—Scud Frohmeyer x Fem!Reader
Murphy MacManus:
Make A Move—Murphy MacManus x Fem!Reader
The Safety—Murphy MacManus x Fem!Reader
Irish Man In A Closet—Murphy MacManus x Fem!Reader
Thank you all so much for sticking with me this year. I love each and every one of you so much, and I can’t wait to embark into the new year with all of you.
Merry Christmas/Happy Holidays, and happy new year in advance!
#krys rambles ★#thank you all for making this year memorable for me#i love you all so freaking much#wrapping up 2024#daryl dixon#scud frohmeyer#murphy macmanus
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Okay, so this is really random, but I'm super happy you put in an option to have gold colored eyes for the character creation because for most fics in a "normal" universe, they only have basic eye colors, which I get, but it makes me sad because my character has amber/gold eyes and so when I saw the option to have gold eyes, I cheered
That being said, I've finished reading both ending outcomes for all of the characters and I love it.... I love them.... I love YOU! For making this story and putting so much heart and soul into it. It's truly a work of art and just amazing and ugh now I'm rambling but... did I already say I love it??
Oh my goodness, love you, too, anon! 😆 Thank you so much! The fact that you’ve already read both endings has me grinning like a fool, lol.
And you’re quite welcome for the eyes! The stickler in me only wanted to have realistic options but I actually always pick the gold/amber option in IFs when I see it, so that was me being self indulgent 😂
#interactive fiction#writing#viatica#twine if#ask me anything#gold eyes ftw#next if I’ll have more options#throw some red and violet in there why not
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Uh you got any more of those... Gender.. cosmere fics..?
That nb kaladin and lift fic was so good pls
✨✨DO I!✨✨
An Early Ideal, An Unexpected Truth by TrishHankins
Rated Teen, 17,000 words, Oathbringer, CW suicidal thoughts
Transfem Elhokar, nonbinary transfemme Adolin
This fic follows an alternate canon and it has a thoughtful and loving portrayal of Elhokar's transition to Kari that doesn't shy away from difficult topics. And it has a happy ending!
***
Perceptions of Self by Wandering_Channeler
Rated General, 1000 words, Oathbringer
Nonbinary Nightblood
Nightblood wants to try to understand pronouns and gender, and asks various people to explain. This one's funny and sweet!
***
Series: [slaps cosmere] this baby can fit so many gender by werealldreaming
(only visible to logged in ao3 users), 4 fics, all rated General.
Transfem Kaladin; nonbinary Vivenna; transmasc Spook; nonbinary Lift.
Short and impactful moments throughout the cosmere, I'm linking to the whole series so you can read them all in one sitting.
***
Unto Themself by freoduweard
Rated General, 1000 words, Oathbringer
Nonbinary Renarin?
A mother has questions and worries about her child, who may face many challenges as they grow.
***
Self-Soulcasting by TrishHankins
Rated Mature, 18,000 words, WoR canon divergence
Transfem Kaladin
Kaladin ends up in Kharbranth to finish her training, and happens upon a young woman who is in training as a scholar. Spats, pins, and friendship (maybe other things too?) ensue. It's a smart and tender fic that takes great care with characterization. Also it has amazing epigraphs from an in world book about gender and transitioning called Self-Soulcasting. So good!
***
An Edgedancer's Tale by Susanoko
Rated Mature for violence, 22,000 words, set in Alethkar without references to canon events, CW well-marked descriptions of self harm/suicide
Transfem OC Radiant
Thalkum is a ranked duelist in the city of Rashir. His overbearing father wants him to compete harder, and something inside Thalkum breaks. Fortunately, he...she discovers good friends and a spren named Willow, who help fill the cracks. This fic is quite dark at times, which makes the moments of celebration shine all the brighter.
***
Urithiru Pride by Wandering_Channeler
Rated General, 1000 words, references RoW
Nonbinary Lift
Just a fun crack fic! Dalinar and Szeth are not invited but just about everyone else is!!
***
I want to learn to love the way you love by taleisinlefay
Rated Explicit, 6000 words, no spoilers iirc, CW oblique references to past sexual abuse
Transmasc OC
Taleisin and Kaladin confess their love and have gender affirming sex. Just very sweet
***
And of course the ones mentioned in the replies to that original post:
A journey of self-discovery by Wandering_Channeler
Rated Teen, 19,000 words, canon divergence around RoW era
Nonbinary Kaladin, nonbinary Lift
Kaladin unexpectedly finds a community, and they help them figure out what's been feeling off.
***
A Strapping Young Man by whoreship
Rated Explicit, 5000 words, modern AU
Transmasc Renarin
Renarin buys sex toys and figures out how to use them in a way that gives him gender euphoria. This fic has such a special place in my heart
#stormlight fanfic#kaladin experimenting with gender is something that can be so personal#fic recs#fic rec#i love all of these fics and i have so much love for all the authors#they put their hearts and souls into these fics#and i can warm myself by them like a heating fabrial#stormlight archive
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I honestly do not think I've ever experienced as much agony over a fictional character as I have over oscar malevolent. he's just the winning combo of religious trauma, blood, devotion, queer pain, endless kindness and optimism, and vengeance yk?
#every time I read a fic involving him or see art involving him it KILLS ME#even just listening to him in canon is like getting my heart and soul put through a paper shredder#I need to give him a hug I think that would fix both of us#like buddy I truly get the agony of being in love with someone who will never love you back the same#and just having to act like everything is fine afterwards#I am kissing him gently on the forehead and holding him so tight#malevolent#malevolent pod#malevolent podcast#oscar malevolent#blind faith#an eldritch being and his wet cat
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I have infinite awe and respect for people who just do their own thing in fandom. Who ship two random crossover characters (that makes sense to them and them alone) with all their heart. Or obsess over that one side character no one else cares about. It takes a will or iron and a volcanic passion to keep that creativity and love alive, without other people feeding it with equal enthusiasm, ideas and praise. And to not fall into a spiral of fandom negativity because often, they must play alone in their sandbox. They just love and craft and there walks a fandom hero my friends.
All the hats off to you, you amazing, wonderous types.
#Windswept rambles#I'm currently reading a fic about Lucifer Morningstar (DC) x Beethoven#And it's one THE best fics I've ever read#The writer has put their whole heart and soul into it#Just#Words do not do justice to how much admiration I have for them#It deserves so much praise#But is so niche you know it'll never get it#May everyone who ships/loves this individually#Find that one fandom friend who makes it all worth while#Who loves it with an equal passion#One is all you need#Fandom malarkey
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Fanfic authors be like
#this decision has changed the very foundation. stability and course of numerous fandoms#yes. this is about johnlock.#some of you johnlock authors are too comfortable putting out heart gripping. life changing. SOUL CLEANSING work and then just... moving on?#like come back and pick me up 😩 i be so emotional when a S-TIER fic i read ends like please erase my memory so i can experience it again!#ao3#archive of our own#fanfic#fanfictions#fanfics#fanfiction#writers#authors#fanfic authors#fan fic#sherlock & co#sherlock#sherlock holmes#john watson#johnlock
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No AO3 baby no come back please 🥺
#ao3#I'm losing my mind i was reading my first abo fic and Jesus Christ its insane#someone put their heart and soul into this thing and im over here losing my mind over the logistics of that whole fucking trope
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"he's a vicious and dangerous gladiator" TO YOU. to me he's my precious and perfect cinnamon roll angel husband
#you see this man???#i’m climbing him like a jungle gym every night#my heart my soul and my ****** belong to him alone#all that skin you see in these pictures is getting kissed every second of the day by me#i just want to love him 😭😭#he’s the balm to my blistered heart and i want to be that for him#being loved by him would fix me#loving him would fix me i need someone to love#the gushy romantic stuff i put in my fics is a representation of what’s in my heart#he’s so beloved by me#so dear to my heart#i watch gladiator and i’m like DO THESE PEOPLE NOT UNDERSTAND????#DO THEY NOT GET HOW PRECIOUS HE IS????#how can they beat him and mock him and force him to fight like a video game character#when he’s the most honorable good hearted wonderful man#how could they not love him???#how could anyone not love him???#my special precious husband I LOVE HIM I CAN CONTAIN IT NO LONGER#gladiator#maximus#maximus decimus meridius#gladiator 2000#russell crowe
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If you guys have been wanting a: post apocalypse zombie au with a large amount of world building, angsty they/them reader, Ghoap x reader, slow burn… yall should read the fic im working on.
#ghoap x reader#simon ghost x reader#john soap mactavish#soap x reader#ghoap#writing#ao3 fanfic#putting my heart and soul into this fic#fic rec#call of duty#this fic is my baby#slow burn#post apocalypse#zombie apocalypse#polyamourous#throuple#work in progress#ao3 writer#ao3 link#world building#simon ghost riley
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guys I just this minute finished writing if we were lovers. without editing it's at 264 832 words (more or less the exact word count of equals in life lmao)
i am so so happy with it, I love this fic with my whole heart. my beta is gonna go over the last part once I've edited it, and then I'll do a thorough edit of the whole thing, and then it should be ready to post! it'll be beginning of December but I'll make a post the day before I post the first part or something
i cannot wait to share this fic with you, and I honestly can't believe it's over, this fic has been my baby for the past few months
#fic : if we were lovers#it's an AU so it won't interest as many people as equals in life did but i hope the people who will give it a try will love it#i put my heart and soul into this fic i love it so much#tomarry#harry james potter#tom riddle#billie speaks
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