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bonny-kookoo · 4 years ago

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Chivalry is dead (JJK x Reader) 💜(☁️)🔞

🖤 Pairing: Jeon Jungkook x Reader

🖤 Genre: CEO x Secretary AU, Fluff/Romance, Coworkers to lovers?, mild angst, Smut

🖤 Warnings: swearing, mentions of surgery, did I mention swearing, Kookster is whipped, it’s kinda cheesy, please someone get me a Jungkook like that, slow sex, gentle lovemaking, it’s nothing freaky this time, oral (f rec.) protected sex, sugary sweet live confession you might get diabetes

🖤 Summary: Jeon Jungkook was your boss. The roles were clear as day, so why did it seem so complicated?

You had no idea who in the hell actually invented coffee- like who thought roasting some weird beans and spilling hot water over that stuff was a good idea? Well, whoever it was, that person could go fuck themselves royally; because first of all, that stuff tasted bitter as hell, and second of all, it made your early morning shift an absolute nightmare.

Maybe it wasn't the coffee, but the person who loved them- Jeon Jungkook. Self-proclaimed savior of his Dad's company after taking over at the mere age of 22. Now, at 25, he was a well known face in his business, with famous magazines naming him 'one to watch out for' when talking about deals and sudden decisions. He's headstrong, smart, and unbelievably good looking too.

And also an asshole.

Thats at least what your flatmate Jenny usually says whenever he's the main course of your conversations. You'd told her time and time again that he was merely this rough with you because he was stressed- yet she simply stated that you were just an angel too good for this world- and especially too good for him.

"2 Minutes late." Came his rough voice as he didn't even look up to greet you, simply tapping on the surface of his crisp white table where he expected you to put his coffee. (Black and bitter as his soul, as Jenny always said.) He nodded, hand raising to dismiss you as always, until his eyes turned downwards, spotting your scaped up knee; half-hazardly covered by a bandaid that already came off at one side due to the rush you'd been in. Sure, you could apologize now, tell him how you were late because that freaking dogwalker let a leash of one of his huskies slip, which basically ran you over like a truck considering your rather short height, but you'd found out early on that Jeon Jungkook didn't care about your stories. Yet with his still lingering stare, you felt like he'd glued you to the ground by the soles of your shoes, without his dismissal you were forced to stay right where you were. He took a sip of his black beverage before setting the cup down with a sigh, getting up to walk towards a small bathroom connected to his office. Emerging out of the room again with a couple of items in his hand, he sat down on his chair behind his laptop, turning it towards you.

He had to lean down a bit as he took off the bandaid, not even saying sorry as you hissed at the sting. You did notice however how he took it off more gently after that, as he threw it into his bin, opening the plastic bag of desinfectant wipes, before his large hand held the back of your knee, almost delicately. He began to clean the scrape, brows furrowing a bit at the view of the raw skin, thinking about how you probably ran with that all the way to his office just to not be even later. He wanted to apologize, at least give you some form of verbal reassurance that it was okay to put your own health before his goddamn coffee, but the words got stuck inside his throat as he gently placed a new, more properly sized bandaid over the wound, sighing as some red seeped through immediately. "Get that checked after work today." He simply said before getting up to put all of the items away into their proper place as you were left with still tingling skin from his touch. He turned around, looking at you with an almost bored, but soft look. "What're you standing there for? You're dismissed." He said, and you practically ran out of the office.

"He wants to fuck you." Jenny simply said as she bit into her sandwich, while you were left almost spitting out your lunch. "What? That was electricity, I'm telling you! He so wants to screw you." She said, almost accusingly pointing a finger at you as she took a sip of her water, watching you.

"Stop. He only did that because he.." Oh well yeah, why did he do that? He could've simply told you to get it checked instead of taking care of it himself for that matter. But he was someone who wanted things done immediately- e rarely could wait for things to finish or to be done, so maybe he just wanted to have things more proper during your shift? Exactly. He just wanted to keep the image of his company intact- maybe even raise it by showing other employees that he cared for everyone deeply, even if he didn't. "He probably just wanted me not to look like I got scraped off the streets." You mumbled before taking a bite of your lunch, Jennies eyes rolling.

"Truth is;" She started, as she threw away her plastic waste before checking her watch, "That I still think he wants you bend over his desk." She finished, as you turned shades of pink, lowering your gaze at that. You always tried to keep those thoughts away from you, knowing how unprofessional it was. "Does he know you're leaving soon?" She asked, now a bit softer since she knew it was a touchy topic. You shook your head.

"I haven't put in my termination yet." You answered, your food suddenly looking stale. Jenny sighed, hugging your side.

"I'll buy some icecream on the way home, you're finishing later than I do I assume?" She asked, and you nodded again as a confirmation. "Alright. Let's binge on movies tonight, and have a nice weekend alright? Heads up." Came her reply as she left with a wave, to get back to her own desk in the company.

Jenny and you had met while you were waiting for your interview with Jeon to begin, and when you began to talk, you immediately hit off. You'd told her how much the driving back and forth from your old apartment to work would be, and eventually she'd decided to share her apartment with you close to the company. You were a bit hesitant at first, but eventually agreed; and it was one of your best decisions yet. The way to work was basically half an hour by foot- if it wasn't for your daily task of bringing your boss a coffee from this one specific shop downtown, almost an hour away by foot. It was okay however. Everyone had their preference.

At least you told yourself that to feel better about being Jeon Jungkooks personal slave.

"You're in love with her." Jimin stated, as Jungkook almost choked on his instant ramen.

"What the fuck dude, I don't." He exclaimed in a scandalized manner, long dark hair successfully hiding the red tips of his ears. He simply furrowed his brows, chopsticks now digging in his cup as if to search for treasure, just so he didn't have to look up and meet the eyes of his very nosy friends who were sitting in his living room.

"So you only want to fuck her." Yoongi grumbled as he hit after Jimin, who'd tried to steal a peace of meat from his plate.

"Exactly- Wait no!" The young company leader corrected himself immediately. No, this wasn't just pleasure he was seeking with you- but he also denied every single clue that he was into you, romantically. After all, he'd had his fair share of romantic involvements in the past; all pathetically killing themselves royally simply because there was never true love involved. It was either for benefit, for public image, or most of the time- for his money. It was never truly just about him.

Jungkook was simply a number, nothing more. In a way, his success was mostly just a curse for his soul; he was convinced by now that everyone just wanted something from him at this point, as pathetic as it sounded. He was always just the punchline of a joke, elderly woman seeing him as a piece of meat on a richly designed table ready to be consumed- just to be spit out as soon as he'd loose flavor. It was sad really, how much he hated trusting at this point.

"Look." Namjoon started, putting down his empty cup as he sniffled from the spicy meal he'd just consumed. "As far as I know, she'd from a regular background, right?" He asked, and Jungkook nodded, slurping some noodles without paying much attention. "How long has she been working for you at this point, two years? Three years?" The younger in question nodded at three, remembering the moment you'd stepped into his office for your interview, back then with a different haircut and color, and a bit more shy than you were now. You'd found friends in coworkers, when it came to gatherings and dinners you were always missing, however. He'd never seen you at any afterparty or bithday gathering for that matter as well. "She also didn't eye you up at all during these years, right?" He asked, and Jungkook got a bit more serious as that, because his friend was right. You surely looked interested in him, but you kept it charmingly subtle- it was more like a shy glance every now and then, never to linger uncomfortably. Just like a mouse showing itself to the cat every now and then to keep the chase going without any intention to.

"Oh, did you ever pay her for buying you a new suit by the way? The one she spilled her strawberry milk on?" Jimin asked with a laugh as Jungkook shook his head.

"She didn't want it." He said, and suddenly everyone got quiet.

"She what?" Yoongi asked. "Is she stupid?" He got out before Jungkook threw him a serious glance.

"Shut up." He said through gritted teeth, as Jimin laughed and the oldest in the round threw his hands up in mocking defense. "No but.. I offered several times, but she said it was her fault. She even got mad at me when I simply put the money on her paycheck- she practically demanded me to take it back." He explained, and Namjoon nodded.

"Probably because she'd feel bad." He answered. He knew you longest and most personally out of everyone in the current gathering; he'd been in the same class back in school for a few years. And you'd always been like that- you hated being paid back favours, because you didn't want to seem like you did them just to gain something afterwards. You kept people at a safe distance, never to have them cross that line, so you could always push them away without getting seriously hurt in the process. You'd also never been in a romantic relationship for long as far as he knew- only having had one scandal back in school, where the guy you'd lost your virginity to had publicly shamed you for being 'bad in bed'. It was a mess really, and Namjoon had felt bad back then, but there was no way you'd let anyone close to you afterwards. "Look." Namjoon started, looking at the youngest. "I'd say go for it. From what I know, she's a genuine person. I'm more concerned about her in this situation than you, if I'm being honest." He said, and Jungkook looked at him scandalized.

Yoongi chimed in. "You're known to fuck around. Don't just use her as a place to throw your half-assed cumshots into, that's what he wants to say." He replied, making Jimin scrunch up his nose in distaste.

Jungkook only continued to eat in silence. You maybe had the role of the mouse in this chase- but he was a tiger waiting to be taimed.

"What is this?" He asked, very unamused, and very much not pleased. It was understandable to a level- after three and a half years you'd just handed in your termination. What you did not understand however, was the amount of emotion you could spot swimming behind his eyes- he looked a bit like when he'd accidentally spilled tea over his workspace once, scared to death if that accident would mean the death of all his hard work of the day. You'd reassured him back then that everything had been saved on the main servers, so even if his laptop was to die, which it did not, everything would still be save. He could surely find a new secretary however- there was no use to make such a huge fuss over it.

"It's my termination sir. I'll be leaving at the end of this month." You answered, a bit unsure now on your spot in front of his desk, as he pushed the tip of his tongue against the inside of his cheek, a clear sign of irritation on his side.

"Thats in two weeks, Y/N." He stated, and you nodded. "As a reason you stated 'health issues'. Is there something I should be worried about?" He asked, and you swallowed, hard.

"Is it uhm.. do I need to answer-" You began, but he cut you off with a stern voice.

"You don't have to, but I'd have to decline the termination if I don't see the reasoning as fit to be taken seriously under such short notice." He began, putting down the papers as he suddenly looked at you more intensely. "We have clear rules here Y/N, I thought you knew them by now. Vacation requests three weeks prior, and terminations as well, except for important reasons." He said, and you looked down.

"I'll be having an operation that can't be pushed anymore soon sir, and I fear I won't be able to meet your standards afterwards. Which is why I'm terminating my contract." You stated, and you swore you could see a flash of concern in his gaze as he nodded.

"Is there anything I can help you with, in preparation for that?" He asked, now shifting his interest on his laptop screen again, typing something as you got confused.

"Pardon sir?" You asked, and he clicked a few times on his touchbad, seemingly searching for something before he turned his attention back onto you.

"Your severance pay will be quite high due to the quality and timespan you've worked here. I want to make sure however, that you're taken care of personally as well, if you'd let me." He said, in such a manner that you felt like he was actually growing a bit self-conscious.

"I uhm.. I will stay at the hospital for a while to recover, and afterwards I guess I'll be fine on my own. It's really fine sir, I don't uhm.. you don't need to do anything really." You said, before sending a smile his way, trying hard not to think of this chapter as finished. Your eyes already stung at the realization that you'd be leaving this comfortable environment soon. It may seemed childish for someone else, but you considered this place a second home- everything was familiar, every routine saved into the memory of your bones, it was your comfort to work here. "I uhm.. I really enjoyed working here." You finished, as Jungkook took a closer look at you.

He seemed to think about something, before he carefully stood up, slowly walking over towards you. For the first time he didn't look detached or as if he needed to do something; his gaze was soft and gentle, and it made it so much harder not to be a crybaby in this situation. You'd always thought that he merely saw you as a secretary, but this situation, as normal as it seemed, felt so intimate. "I'm glad." He simply said, slightly opening his arms to give you the option to take or not to take his invitation for a hug.

You would've been a fool not to. After all, Jungkook wasn't a physically affectionate person- he hated the act of merely shaking hands with a passion, he'd once told you.

"Will you tell me what exactly it is?" He asked, voice so much richer and deeper now that the side of your face was leaning against his chest, head growing dizzy from his presence. You could smell his faint cologne and a fabric softener similar to the one you used- again showing you that he preferred to wash his clothes himself rather than letting others do it for him. "You don't have to, but you have me worried." He simply said, now detaching himself from you hesitantly as he saw some coworkers outside the office staring. He didn't want to make you the talk of town now, only weeks before leaving. Rumors could be aggressive, after all.

"I uhm.." You started, sniffling a bit as you sat down in front of his workdesk. "I'll have a surgery on my knee, since I take a lot of medication for the pain now, and I kinda don't want that anymore so.." You explained to him, as his brows furrowed.

"Why didn't you say anything? I wouldn't have let you work so hard if I'd known you were in pain." He said, almost with a whine, which made you smile a bit in return. You waved him off, however.

"No no, it's fine really. I keep stuff like that to myself anyways." You admitted, and he thought for a moment, before he decided, no.

He wouldn't keep you working just so he could benefit from seeing you. That would be selfish- and he didn't want to be like that. Not with you, at least. He screwed up his chance, and that was okay; he'd had all the time to ask you out, to get closer with you, after all. Maybe it was simply karma. "Take those two weeks off. Don't worry, it won't affect your payment in any form- you'll need to take your vacation time anyways, or I'll get a slap on my hands for not letting you have freetime." He simply said, as you nodded. "Dismissed." He said, in his usual tone.

This time, it made you smile, as you nodded, stood up and walked towards the door. "Y/N." He said from his desk, not looking up. "I really enjoyed having you here." He mumbled, and you grinned, nodding, before leaving the office- and the building alltogether.

"Still can't believe you haven't hired anyone else yet." Jimin accused,as he drank his soju across from Jungkook, who'd simply shrugged. It's been two months by now, and he still refused to let any secretary work as closely with him as you did before. He rather got up a bit earlier and got his morning coffee himself instead of telling anyone to do so; it was as if that was reserved to you. It wasn't the act of having you bring him his coffee like a personal assistand; it was more the fact that he got to see you first thing in the morning. In a weird way, he didn't want to see anyone so early apart form you- he was simply too grumpy for that. "What about Hannah?" He asked, and Jungkook shook his head. Hannah was a promising candidate for the role of a future girlfriend- he really liked her. But there was no romantic spark between the two, and when she'd looked at him almost as if he'd ate her dog when he'd told the waiter to split the bill of their shared dinner, he knew that it wouldn't work out. She'd been so sure that he would simply pay for everything that he had to pay the entire thing- because she didn't even carry her purse with her. "Another piranha, I see."

Namjoon came into the room, several take out boxes in hand. "What're you talking about?" He asked, and Jimin chuckled.

"Jungkookies nonexistent sex-life." He said, before getting hit with a spoon from the younger one.

"Oh, interesting actually-" He began, putting down the food before sitting down himself. "Just saw Y/N-" He started, but Jungkook, almost chomically, cut him off.

"Did she look okay? Was she alright?" He asked, and Namjoon laughed for a second before taking some chopsticks for himself, breaking them apart and making Jimin laugh when they broke the wrong way.

"She seemed okay. Walked without help, but seemed a bit wobbly still." He explained, and Jungkook nodded. "My dad said she's gonna be alright, but it's gonna take a while since she waited so long to get it done-" Suddenly, Jungkook coughed.

"Your DAD did the surgery on her?!" He yelled out, making his dog bark as if alerted, as Namjoon became wide-eyed.

"Yeah, I mean, didn't I tell you.?" He began, but Jungkook shook his head, still heavily irritated.

"No, you did not!" He began, before letting himself fall into the couch defeatedly, whining. "I could've sent her flowers or some other shit, now I fucked it up!" He exclaimed to no one in particular, his dog jumping onto his lap.

"And they say chivalry is dead." Jimin said, playfully wiggling his eyebrows as Namjoon shot him a look to shut him up.

"You can still do that though?" He asked, and Jungkook furrowed his brows.

"No, that's just.. weird. Like, imagine getting flowers from your boss MONTHS after you quit." He said, before huffing like a child. "I screwed it up, its fine." He mumbled, before Namjoon continued.

"I mean, she asked about you though.." He hummed, taking a bite of his food.

"She did what?!" Both Jimin and Jungkook asked in disbelief.

"She asked about you. How you were doing, you know, that stuff." He explained, before continuing. "Told her you fuck around, she left after that." He said, shrugging his shoulders as Jungkook yelled furiously.

"You did what?! Namjoon, what the fuck-" He started, almost tearing up before the elder one laughed. "Not funny." Jungkook commented, clearly unamused by the humor in Namjoons face.

"Sorry." He said, putting down his chopsticks. "No, but for real, she actually told me to tell you she didn't change her number or anything so.."

Jungkook looked at him quesitoningly. "So?" He asked, and Jimin groaned.

"What the fuck, is she supposed to lay on your doorstep with her legs spread out while telling you 'Oh hey come inside and make yourself at home' for you to get the message?" A grumpy Yoongi groaned out as he walked into the living room, greeting the dog. "She basically told Namjoon to tell you she wants to sit on your dick." He said, stealing a dumpling from Jimin as he took off his jacket.

"She did not-" Namjoon started, before turning to the youngest again. "But she basically did say you should message her."

"To make up a date to fuck each other!" Yoongi yelled from the kitchen. Jungkook groaned.

"I mean I do have her number.." He mumbled, and suddenly a hand was on his shoulder as the eldest came back, a glass of water in his hands.

"Then go get pussy." He said, and everyone laughed.

Everyone but the young man in question.

"You uh.. sorry its nothing special but you said you wanted something not fancy so.." He said, as he pulled out the chair as you sat down.

"No no, its fine. I like this." You answered, now a bit shy with him sitting in front of you- all casual and not at all in the regular environment you both met in. He wore a simple black button up, ripped jeans- clothes that were so.. regular, yet he made them look so expensive. Maybe it was how his body was proportioned, with long legs and a broad chest, or maybe it was simply the way he carried himself.

"You look really nice." He casually complimented, as you blushed a bit, unfamiliar with such compliments as he smiled at your reaction, licking his lips almost impishly.

He would've been a bit more shy if it wasn't for the several conversations over the phone you both have had in the past couple of days; your answers and innuendos making it clear that you were genuinely interested in him, on a higher level than just 'hit and run'. No, you'd asked about his dog when he'd sent you a picture of him, you'd wanted to know about his family, or what he did in his freetime- you both even played several rounds of overwatch together when you'd revealed to him that you play the game as well.

It made him feel confident.

Another reason he was so adamant on making sure his impression on you was the best was that you'd openly talked about your, admittedly shitty ex partners, giving him even more reason to treat you the best he could think of.

You felt a bit weird.

Not a bad weird, but a.. tingling weird. This kind of weird where you don't know where to put your hands because wherever you began to rest them your mind thought about if it looked weird. It made you feel like a kid waiting to finally be let loose on a playground. You felt so comfortable with him, that it was important for you to make a good impression on him. So when the waitress came back after you both ate a bite, you began to search for your wallet, as he smiled at you, his larger hand covering yours in a manner that told you he'd pay. "All on me." He simply said, as he payed, making you pout a bit.

Walking outside, he made sure that you were comfortable with him walking you home before walking side by side with you, never too close to not pressure you. After a moment, you began to speak. "I could've payed, you know-" You started, but he cut you off with a question.

"Why won't you call me by my name?" He asked, and you began to chew on your lip. There was no specific reason you could think of that would make sense to him. It just felt like you'd let him in if you were to say his name out loud. It was a taboo thing to call your superior by his first name, but that had been the past. Now it would mean that you were considering him your friend. Or maybe even.. more. "Do I make you uncomfortable?" He asked, and you shook your head immediately.

"No, its just.." You started, trying to think of something.

"Don't make something up now just for me. I promise I won't be offended; just be honest." He said, and you nodded.

"I'm not someone who, you know, lets people get close to me, normally." You explained, before you continued after he'd nodded, telling you wordlessly that he was following your words. "It just seems.. so intimate, if that makes sense?" Against what you'd expected however, he simply continued his gentle smile.

"That's okay. You don't have to love me right away." He offered, looking down at you with a smile. "Say it when you feel like it. We'll do whatever is comfortable with you." He offered, and you smiled.

"So you both did not, in fact, fuck each other." Jenny said, as she ate another spoonful of icecream.

"No, we did not." You said, and smiled a bit at the memory. Jenny had just gotten back from her business trip; a week full of torture as she'd called it. "We simply talked and he brought me home every day." You explained, and your friend fake-gagged playfully at that.

"Oh god, someone get me a grater for all that cheese!" She laughed, as she suddenly smiled a bit more seriously. "No but really, I'm happy. He seems nice." She said, and you nodded.

"He does."

"Do you treat everyone like me?" You'd asked one night as you shared takeout with Jungkook in his living room, having agreed to meet up at his place.

He shook his head. "Not to that extend, no. But I learned from my dad was common chivalry is- it's not that deep to be honest." He explained, as he continued eating. He looked so young like this; merely wearing a sweater and sweatpants combo, hair a bit unruled and piercings on full display. With all that business on his shoulders, one could easily forget that he was just a young man, even if he did turn 26 recently.

"Its not common, though." You commented, and he shrugged his shoulders, leaning back against the couch as he finished his meal.

"Do you want to take my bed or the couch?" He asked after a moment, after you'd finished your meal as well. You shrugged. "Then we'll sleep together." He playfully said, but got a bit shy after you'd simply nodded, not having noticed that he didn't truly mean his statement. No taking it back now though.

"Are you tired?" You asked, wondering if that was why he'd brought up the question. Jungkook was an honest guy, so he affirmed.

"A bit, honestly. Sorry." He said, but you shook your head, already picking up the empty containers and plastic bags to throw them away.

"It's fine." You simply said, as he nodded, his gaze following you for a moment before he opened the door to his backyard, ushering his dog to go out to finish his business before bedtime.

You knew you should feel at least a bit nervous, after all you'd be sharing a bed with him. But for some reason you weren't- even if something was to happen, you felt comfortable with him- enough to trust you at your most vulnerable state. At this point he'd already sneaked his way around your made up walls, way too close now to be let go off without pulling on your skin painfully at the same time. Hurting him would hurt you now- so you had simply accepted the fact that he was going to stay at your side for as long as he saw fit.

"Alright, bedtime mister." He said, leading the dog to its bed by the front door- a place his pet had chosen willingly, he once told you. "Goodnight." He mumbled, gently petting his companions head before he made his way inside his bedroom, where you followed. He closed the door quietly, turning on a small lamp on his bedside desk, before opening a window. "I like to sleep with the window open, hope you don't mind." He said, as you shook your head. You simply got into the bed after him, your way of trying to find out which side he preferred as you slipped under the covers, the smell of his by now familiar fabric softener, and distinctively his smell flooding your senses. His mattress was soft, way softer than yours at home- but it was probably worth several months worth of rent as well.

"I uh.." he suddenly said, low voice cutting through the silence after he'd turned off the lights, darkness swallowing the room fully. "I have a habit of, uhm.. undressing myself during the night so. Just to warn you." He said, before groaning a bit. "Oh god that came of kind of creepy, sorry-" But you simply laughed.

"It's okay. I hug things when I sleep, so I'll probably latch onto you during the night." You admitted, and he chuckled.

"Oh I don't mind that at all." He hummed, as you felt him turn over, probably to face you as your suspicions were confirmed when a finger almost shyly brushed over your bare arm. He was silently testing the waters, trying to find out if you were comfortable enough with him to let him go that far. To his surprise you reacted by scooting closer towards him, until your nose was close to his. He couldn't quite see you, only able to make out rough outlines as the moon wasn't shining at all outside his apartment. "Is that okay?" He asked, in a whisper, careful as if he didn't want to scare you away. He felt you nod as his hand went to lay down on your cheek, thumb finding your lower lip as he guided his onto yours, slow, as if he was only testing the waters yet.

Always so considerate.

You slowly deepened the kiss, a bit hesitant since it has been a while you'd ever kissed someone; but he took the lead after noticing you accepting his gesture, his tongue gently asking for entrance as you granted his wish, making him close his eyes as he lazily continued kissing you, his desire taking over.

Everything was slow, comfortable, and warm- the way he slowly moved to lean over you, the way his hands roamed over your body underneath your clothes. It was as if you both knew eachother already, as if you didn't need to hurry anything at all. And it was true.

He slowly undressed himself, before directing his attention towards you, helping you out of your clothes as well, careful to leave the covers over his body, as if to shield you from the chilly air coming inside from the opened window. He truly enjoyed every second, every inch of skin he laid bare of you, as his head dipped downwards, placing open mouthed kisses against your neck and collarbone as his hand gently ran over your chest, squeezing the soft flesh or a moment before his thumb grazed over the hardened nipple, making you squirm underneath him. You felt torn between a feeling of being worshipped almost, and the frustration of him going so slow. Every past sexual encounter had always been straight to the point- this was entirely new territory.

"We got time darling." He hummed suddenly amused as you began to squirm more underneath his touch. You felt his hard on against your inner thigh clear as day, yet he seemed to absolutely not notice it; his attention more so on you, as he suddenly moved underneath the covers, shaking his head a bit to get his long hair out of his eyes, piercings jingling brightly at his sudden movement before he dipped downwards, making you gasp as you felt his tongue on your center. He chuckled again as his hands held down your lower belly, keeping your hips down and legs open for him as he sucked and swallowed, making you whine at the feeling. This was the first time someone had ever gone down on you, and it made you feel absolutely incredible.

Jungkook moved again as you became close to your orgasm, hands fumbling around for a moment until he found in his drawer what he'd searched for; the crinkling sound of the foil package filling the room as you still breathed heavily. He rolled the condom over his length before he moved over you again, cooing at the cold feel of your damp skin, sweat making your body cool down rapidly. "Are you cold?" He asked, and you nodded, but held out your arms, desperate to have him close to you again. "Let me warm you up." He hummed lowly, pulling the covers over his back again before he led his cock into your core with the help of his hand, groaning at the feel of your warm walls welcoming him inside. He moved after a moment, kissing you again as if he needed to confirm that this was truly happening. "You feel like home darling." He whispered out of breath as he slowly moved a bit faster, your hands searching for his as he helped you find them, fingers intertwining as he felt his soul grow fond. He loved you, he truly did, and in that moment he realized it to the full extend. It was the same for you as he kissed your neck, hot breath against your skin making you feel protected and adored as he picked up his pace, thrusts becoming more erratic as he suddenly pushed himself inside you in one swift move, hand leaving yours to desperately move over your pearl, making your back arch off the mattress as you whined in pleasure, throwing him off the edge as well as he spilled inside the condom.

His forehead rested against your shoulder as he chuckled, slowly slipping out of you as you laughed along with him.

"I swear that was not my intention when I said we'd sleep together." He said, and you laughed a bit harder at that, kissing the side of his jaw affectionately as he kissed your neck. "I love you. I really do."

"That's okay." you said still a bit out of breath, and he wished you could've seen the bright smile he sported at your next words.

"I love you too, Jungkook."

#bts imagine #bts fanfic #bts fic #bts smut #jungkook imagine #bts jungkook #bts #jeon jungkook #jungkook #bts reactions

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vosh-rakh · 4 years ago

Text

meeting of the minds

Ku-vastei wearily steps inside from the rain, slamming the round metal door behind her. She begins to wring out her robes, swearing to every god and saint she knows under her breath.

A heavily-armored man draws his sword and points it towards her. “What are you doing here, slave?”

Too tired to speak, Ku simply glares at the cyrod as she continues to dry herself off.

“How did you get up here?” pursues the warrior, stepping closer. “These are Master Aryon’s private -”

Before he can take another step, a daedric spearpoint materializes in xanthous light at his throat, freezing him in place. “Come no closer, n’wah,” Ku declares, her tired voice deep and rumbling, “if you value your neck.”

“Turedas? What’s all this commotion about?” calls a silvery voice from upstairs. A dunmer descends the spiral staircase, hiking up his robe so he doesn’t trip. He spies Ku-vastei with her conjured weapon pressed against his bodyguard’s gorget and his face lights up. “Ah, Turedas, settle down. This is the guest I told you to expect.”

The cyrod carefully sheathes his weapon, and Ku follows suit, the spear dissipating into tiny flecks of yellow floating to the ceiling and beyond. “I did not expect you meant to meet with a slave, Councilor,” says Turedas, his eyes still carefully trained on Ku.

“She is no slave of mine or anyone else,” replies Master Aryon, patting the warrior on the back. Ku-vastei notices he lacks the coarse Vvardenfell accent. “She is like Smokeskin-killer, a free argonian. We do not keep slaves in Tel Vos.” He smiles at Ku-vastei. “My apologies for the confusion. My man here once worked at the slave market in Sadrith Mora. Despite his Cyrodiilic origins, his heart was hardened to the abuses there.”

Ku-vastei grunts and goes back to wringing out her robes. “No, no,” interjects Aryon, taking a careless step closer. “Here. Allow me. You’ll feel warmer for a moment.”

Ku narrows her eyes but allows him. With a wave of his hand, vaporous orange light encircles her, pulling the moisture from her clothing and suffusing her body with a pleasant warmth. Her tail pulls itself taut with a cozy shiver. “Thank you,” she offers in return.

“Think nothing of it, muthsera. Come upstairs with me, I was just about to sit down for dinner.” He waves her towards the stairs with a practiced bow and flourish of his hands. “Turedas, if you would, please mop up the entryway.”

Turedas groans but nods in deference to his master. Ku follows Aryon up the fungal stairs, her tail “accidentally” slapping Turedas on her way past. As they climb, she begs the question, “See, you know what stairs are. No levitation necessary to go from one floor to the other. Then why do you require it to access this tower at all?”

“It is a longstanding tradition of the Telvanni,” answers Master Aryon. “We are a House steeped in wizardry, of course. So to reach our finest, you must prove yourself capable of such an essential spell, or at least resourceful enough to buy or brew a potion. This way it is impossible for lesser men to waste our often valuable time.” He pauses, then adds, “...Or so the tradition goes.”

“So you hesitate before tradition?” Ku observes.

“In its most outdated forms, yes.”

“Yet you keep the common folk of Vos a mile away from you. Very faithful adherence.”

The magister turns to look at Ku-vastei for a moment, then smiles. “...Some traditions die harder than others. Some must be followed so that others may be changed. It is a sacrifice. You are very observant, Ku-vastei, and that shall do you well in House Telvanni.”

They arrive at the second floor of the fungiform tower, where a table ladened with food awaits. “Be my honored guest, muthsera, and have a seat,” Master Aryon proclaims, throwing his arms wide with entreaty.

As Ku-vastei sets aside her pack and cautiously tucks her tail to sit at the table, she admires with salivating tongue the grand feast laid out before her: gleaming slaughterfish sashimi with an inky dipping sauce; an entire leg of mudcrab, plump and stuffed with golden meat; perfectly molded saltrice balls, neatly tucked into hackle-lo leaves; a bowl of bright blue roasted dovah-flies; and a large cup of mulled shein, steaming with an intoxicating aroma. She lifts it to her nose with both hands, inhaling deeply. The weather must have clogged her sinuses, because the blast of spices clears them right back out, like a fire removing a colony of its congestive kwama.

“Feel free to help yourself,” Aryon says, taking his own seat and separating his corkbulb chopsticks. “I prepared enough for the both of us.”

Ku takes a mighty swig of the shein before setting it back down. She forgoes her own pair of chopsticks and begins popping dovah-flies into her mouth with gusto, each one carefully pinched between her claws. Aryon watches attentively as he slowly dips a piece of sashimi into the black sauce.

“You knew -” Ku says between bite-swallows, “- that I would be coming.”

Aryon ignores this observation, instead making one of his own. “You approach this meal with proud carelessness. Who is to say I haven’t poisoned the dovah-flies?”

Ku laughs, picking up the massive crab leg. “A man of your status should know we argonians are immune to the poisons of men and mer.”

“Yes,” Aryon replies with a chuckle of his own. “Of men and mer, yes. But I know of at least three brewed in the dark depths of your homeland that are immune to your immunity.”

The leg cracks open violently, mudcrab meat scattering across the table.

“But you needn’t worry,” entreats Aryon. He moves his chopsticks in a single calculated motion to pick up a dovah-fly and pops it into his mouth, savoring the crunch before continuing. “Such poisons have no antidotes. We are here as allies, Ku-vastei. We serve the same purpose. In serving me, you serve yourself.” He pauses to fish a piece of misplaced crab meat out of the murky depths of the sauce. “My Mouth told me you were coming.” He taps on a lavender-stoned ring on his finger as he chews.

“...Telepathic ring?” Ku asks, her pupils dilating slightly as she examines it. She gently takes a saltrice ball and nibbles on it, a bit more cautiously now, despite Aryon’s assurances.

“Close,” Aryon says after swallowing. “Teleportation. I prefer to meet face to face. I had Galos take the long way back to Sadrith Mora.” He rolls the ring under his fingers across the table towards Ku-vastei. “This is yours now, as I’m making you my new Mouth.”

“I’m not standing around in Sadrith Mora all day.” Ku’s hunger gets the best of her, and she finishes off the ball quickly. But the words have an effect - she takes her own pair of chopsticks and awkwardly fiddles with them to pick up a piece of sashimi. She does not touch the ring just yet.

Aryon laughs. “No, no, I won’t expect that of you. Galos will still take care of the minor clerical duties of the position.” He watches Ku’s attempts with a frown. “Look. See how I hold them? Like this,” he says, rotating his hand towards Ku-vastei. He deftly picks up a dovah-fly and pops it into his mouth.

Ku adjusts her grip and tries to pick up a dovah-fly herself. She manages to lift it a few inches from the bowl before twisting it out of the sticks, sending it rolling off the table. “Xuth,” she exclaims under her breath.

“Much better. You’re a quick learner.” He sets down his chopsticks and leans back in his chair. “I suppose they didn’t teach you proper etiquette at the Savethi Plantation, did they?”

Ku-vastei’s nostrils flare slightly. “You’re very well researched,” she remarks, biding her temper.

“Yes,” Master Aryon says. “I’m well aware of your past prior to arriving on Vvardenfell. Your role in the Arnesian War is particularly impressive. You’re quite the impactful character, Ku-vastei.”

“What’s your point?” Ku lays down her own chopsticks.

“You know, unlike most of my fellows in the House, I’m quite sympathetic to your plight, and that of your people.”

Ku presses a palm firmly on the surface of the table. “You know nothing of ‘our plight,’ n’wah. You live just the same privileged life as the rest of you house-folk.”

Aryon clears his throat and leans in. “I may not have ever been a slave, Ku-vastei, but I am fond of progress. The business of slavery is an ancient tradition, and ancient traditions must be abolished for a new society to blossom. Are you familiar with the teachings of Vivec?”

“No,” Ku-vastei lies. She’s read some of his sermons, but admitting familiarity feels treacherous.

“Ah, nevermind then. But as I said, in order for our society to flourish, it must be destroyed and made anew. This goes especially for our Great House Telvanni. You will find me just as progressive as the staunchest abolitionist.”

He lifts his cup of shein to his nose, inhaling the aroma of the spices. “I’m aware how your name translates from Jel to Aldmeris. ‘Catalyst for necessary change.’ It served you well in rebellion, and I think it can serve us well here. Working with me, you can once again be that catalyst, and forever change the face of Great House Telvanni.” With his offer pitched, he leans back in his chair and takes a sip of the wine.

Ku-vastei mulls it over for a bit. In order to advance within the house, it seems she has little choice. And perhaps he truly will end up a valuable ally. She picks up the ring and inspects it briefly before sliding it onto her middle finger. The magical ring glows in reaction to its new wearer, expanding and tightening to fit comfortably. “One condition,” she says. “Build some damn stairs to this place.”

“Well,” Aryon interjects, “with the ring, you won’t need-”

“I don’t care. Build some stairs.”

Aryon narrows his eyes briefly but smiles. He extends his hand over the feast. “Deal.”

Ku takes his soft hand and shakes it firmly, saying nothing.

After feasting further and conversing about House politics and magical theory, Ku-vastei makes ready to leave. On her way out she meets Turedas again.

“Good evening, sera,” he says, hissing the honorific.

“I’m Master Aryon’s Mouth now, n’wah.”

The color falls from the cyrod’s face. “Yes, serjo. Of course.”

Ku-vastei turns swiftly towards the door, slapping Turedas with her tail again as she does, before quickly marching out into the clear night.

#title sucks but w/e #tes #tesblr #morrowind #vvardenfell #telvanni #master aryon #oc: ku-vastei #tel vos

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swagging-back-to · 3 months ago

Text

probably 10, when i went vegan my adopters stopped cooking for me at all. All i had to eat was any extra potatoes or salad they made, so i had to learn to cook on my own. i was self-taught.

when i wasn't vegan egg sandwiches, chicken sandwiches on white bread, and i also got salami veggie sandwiches from subway. after going vegan (and before being diagnosed celiac) it's pb&j's and grilled cheese

around 4spoons of sugar. sometimes i add soymilk sometimes i don't. i usually don't.

take out and to go. take out is what i say to describe the food 'im eating takeout'. to go is what i say to describe the order 'im getting it to go.'

cold but things like tea and cider should be hot.

cook. depending on the meal it can be really easy. dishes suck even for myself.

milk chocolate 100%

i'd like to get some but i don't have anything specific in mind. probably those wooden grinder ones.

honestly? soups. you put everything in the pot and walk away. anything else you have to sit over the stove. besides that tho I'll have kabobs, tostadas, nectarines, and ice cream.

sweet n sour sauce first and foremost, then ketchup, bbq sauce, and vinegar.

steamed broccoli and boiled dinner. i still love both of them but don't have them often.

lick bc anyone who bites it is insane

WHAT???????

i used to but I've started decluttering my life and trying to be more minimal. i still collect some mugs tho bc i put other things in them

tiramisu, bibimbap

low. i can get through 4-6 takis before i have to stop

probably cut fruit. hummus.

cooking

PASSION FRUIT or nectarine. both are good.

that i eat or that i don't eat? probably mayo (vegan). i just think it's gross.

coke and chips. classic and salt n vinegar

noodles are straight and long, single thin strands. pasta is everything else.

roasted foods, vegetables, beans, rice. Specifically uncle ben's rice and wild rice with chickpeas. i will literally eat it all winter long.

DRY FLAVOR???? wtf is dry flavor.... but no i have a dissociative disorder so my preferences for everything are constantly changing. I typically gravitate towards salty and sweet, but i do have bits of sour cravings.

probably plain. runner ups are blueberry and everything

nothing. or whatever is butt-fuck easiest. sometimes it's the rice and beans, sometimes it's microwaved canned corn

it depends on if you count dinner as a set meal time or as a specific meal NUMBER during the day. usuaulyl my 'dinner' is my first meal. like 2pm-5pm

yeah probably

garlic powder, Italian seasoning, cumin, paprika, turmeric

hard question bc i feel like I'm just tolerating most of the gluten free versions. maybe ice cream? it used to be eclair's hands down.

too many. i have a deep one on my hip bone and a large one on 1/4 of my thigh from cooking popcorn and dropping the pot :) weirdly enough the smaller one hurt way more and left a bigger scar

it depends on what it is. if it's something that will be soggy then yes

asian, hands down. i learned Japanese JUST to read recipes

sweet. savory pies are gross as fuck

nectarines and cherries

chopsticks. forks and spoons seem gross to me idk why

when i had bread yeah

NEW BLOCK

bowties. theyre so fancy

uhhhh those strawberry candies that old ladies have

i should have but the place i live doesn't ave any

i don't go to either but i would trust a restaurant more

probably they don't last long

i enjoy a well made salad. sub-urban salads that just have lettuce and croutons? fuck no.

too many. gluten, eggs, dairy, chocolate, grapefruit, kiwi

i drink coke most bc it's the most readily available but i like strawberry or blueberry soda way more.

i do this every day by choice. lol. it changes depending on th ecraving. i would probably go for kabobs tho bc it allows the most variation.

alone. for every reason.

if I'm eating with people and I'm talking, yes.

childhood, or just experimentation. specific things are online

probably chips??? blooming onion or salt n vinegar. i also eat a lot of fruit as a snack

yea

FUCK there is and i don't remember what it was. it was a rubbery thing i would chew on as a kid and i would just chew on it so fucking hard my teeth just about broke off.

too many to name.

never.

fuck no. not even when i wasn't vegan.

yes :'( multiple times

it doesn't really matter I'm adding salt anyway

intermediate to experienced. I'm not pro level but I'm not average eeither

tortilla press

go in. i need to see prices and ingredients first hand

yuh

i useed to have them well done or whatever it's called

sparkling water

i used to get bbq chicken as a kid. now i get daiya pepperoni. if i could order at a shop and have it bee safe for me then i'd get pickles, olives, cauliflower, peppers, onions

in certain dishes they're alright but if they're sliced too big then you taste them too much

uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

eeat at home. whenever i eat in public my stomach acts up

multiple times.

no. bees die to make it and it's an animal product. by definition it is not vegan. and why do you even want to drink bee vomit?

soy sauce

fried rice ig?? i don't share my food with people tho

soy and oat milk yah

brown, or jasmine. jasmine is superior.

No not really :( i can make versions but it isn't the same. (rn I'm counting my favorite food as ham and cheese hot pockets)

yeah actually. i loved the taste of melted cheese specifically.

kabobs, beans and rice, tostadas (quinoa, onion, black beans, taco seasoning, tostadas), and recently fries with baked breaded tofu

yeah but i don't remember them off the top of my head bc why would i

GROSS

yes :')

it depends. i usually just say no

it's alright. I'm not crazy for it

water. sometimes juice

moxie, fluff, red hot dogs, whoopie pies.

Food-inspired ask challenge! Send a few numbers, learn something new!

How old were you when you first learned to cook?

What’s your favorite sandwich?

If you drink it, how do you like your tea?

Which of these terms are you most likely to use?: Takeaway, takeout, carryout, to-go, or grab ‘n go

Do you have a favorite restaurant? If yes, what is it?

Do you prefer hot or cold drinks?

Would you rather cook a meal for a crowd or do the dishes afterward?

Do you prefer white, milk, or dark chocolate?

Do you have novelty salt and pepper shakers? If yes, what are they?

What foods do you like to eat when it's hot outside?

If you eat fries, what condiments do you like to dip them in?

What was your favorite food as a child, and do you still enjoy it?

Do you bite into or lick your ice cream?

Would you consider air to be an ingredient in your cooking or baking?

Do you collect silverware, mugs, cups, bowls, or plates?

Is there anything you haven’t had that you’d like to eat someday?

How would you describe your spice tolerance?

What would you bring to eat at a picnic?

Does caffeine wake you up?

Which do you do more of?: Cooking, baking, or grilling

What’s your favorite fruit juice?

Do you meal plan?

What’s your least favorite food?

What food, snacks, or drinks would you most likely bring to a potluck?

How do you distinguish between pasta and noodles?

What foods do you like to eat when it's cold outside?

Do you have a preference for sour, sweet, salty, savory, or dry flavors?

What’s your favorite type of bagel?

What do you eat when you’re feeling sick?

Around what time do you usually have dinner?

Have you ever cooked something you saw or heard about in a video game?

What are the most commonly used seasonings in your cupboard?

What’s your favorite dessert?

Do you have any scars or burn marks on your hands from cooking?

Do you mind when the food on your plate touches?

Which world cuisine are you the most familiar with?

Sweet or savory pies?

Are there any seasonal foods or ingredients that you’re looking forward to?

What eating utensil do you use the most often?

Do you like to toast your bread?

What is your favorite pasta shape?

What’s your favorite fruit-flavored candy?

Have you ever triggered the smoke alarm while you were cooking?

Food carts or sit-down restaurants?

Have you ever broken a microwave?

Do you enjoy salads?

Do you have any food allergies or food intolerances?

Do you drink soda pop? If yes, what's your favorite flavor or brand?

If you had to eat the same food every day for a month, with no variation, what would you choose?

Do you own any cookbooks?

Do you prefer to eat alone or with other people?

Do you cover your mouth with your hand while you're chewing?

Where do you find the majority of your recipes from?

What’s your favorite snack food?

Do you eat in your bed?

Is there anything that isn't edible that you’ve really wanted to eat?

What’s your favorite vegetable?

How often do you order restaurant food to be delivered?

Do you eat fish?

Have you ever dropped a pot or tray of food that you were in the middle of cooking?

Salted or unsalted butter?

Where would you rank your cooking abilities?: Beginner, intermediate, or professional

What luxury kitchen appliance would you like to own the most?

Would you prefer to go to the grocery store or have your groceries delivered?

Do you have a sweet tooth?

If you eat eggs, how do you like them prepared?

What do you call carbonated water?

Do you drink energy drinks?

What’s your favorite pizza order?

How do you feel about raw onions?

How would you describe your everyday diet?

Would you rather sit down in a restaurant for a meal, or have food to-go and eat it at home?

Have you ever taken something you were in the middle of cooking and thrown it into the trash?

Do you consider honey to be vegan-friendly?

What’s your favorite condiment?

What’s a recipe you’re good at that everyone asks you to make?

Do you drink milk?

Brown or white rice?

Do you have any leftovers you need to eat?

Can you make your favorite food?

Do you like melted cheese?

What are your safe or comfort foods?

Are there any foods that give you headaches?

How do you feel about eating insects?

Have you ever worked in food service?

How do you feel about sharing food that's on your or someone else’s plate?

Do you like the taste of raw celery?

When you're feeling thirsty, what do you usually want to drink?

Would you consider yourself an adventurous eater?

Are there any foods, flavors, or ingredients unique to where you live?

#i never get asks so im doing it here hope this is ok with you ok #if not idc either way lol

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bellatrixobsessed1 · 4 years ago

Text

Protea (Part 5)

She hears Snapdragon before she sees her. That steady and familiar clank-clack of her necklace. Mai could swear that she has added more knick-knacks to it. Her eyes hone in on it for a moment. She wonders if maybe the woman swaps out which trinkets she wears around her neck every now and again, or maybe she simply has several of these necklaces.

“No flowers today?”

“I’m all out?”

“All out?”

“I was only planning on sticking around until the festival was over.”

Snapdragon’s brows crinkle. “But I thought…” She swallows. “Mohi’s gonna be mighty disappointed.”

It dawns upon her that she had forgotten to mention that when she had offered the woman a job. “Stop looking at me like that, I’ve decided to stay.”

The woman seems to perk up again. Mai doesn’t think that she has ever seen someone’s eyes light up so brightly.

“What made you decide to stay?”

“I guess that I needed a little excitement in my life.”

“Oh. Where are ya gonna get that?”

Mai quirks a brow. Snapdragon points to herself and Mai nods. “I’ve never explored an abandoned industrial park before. My parents would kill me.”

“Where are you gonna be staying?”

“The palace.”

“The palace. How did you manage to get room there?”

“I used to date the Fire Lord.”

She blinks.

“It’s a long story. It ends...not so well. But he owes me and my family so I’m staying there.”

“That’s incredible. I’ve never been in a palace. Unless you count the factory. Sometimes I call that my palace and I made myself this throne, I can show it to you one day.” She resembles. Mai folds her arms and gives a slight smile as she continues. “But an actual palace...maybe one day you can take me there!”

“The flowers aren’t in yet so we have a few days off. I can take you there now, if you want. We can get you to the royal spa and wash some of this dirt off of your cheeks.”

“It’s not dirt, it’s oil and grease.”

“Because that’s much better. Come on.” Just as she turns around she catches Snapdragon rubbing her cheek. The effort was valiant and well-intended but she has only spread the grime to her nose and the back of her hand. Mai wonders if the woman will even take well to having a real bath.

.oOo.

Up close the palace is twice as thrilling with its spoked and multi-tiered roof. What a delight it would be to get the chance to shimmy her way up the side of it and leap from tier to tier. To grip those large golden spokes and find footholds in the windows and on the balconies. Of course, she wouldn’t trade her factory for it but the offer is pretty.

It is only when she lingers in its shadow that it becomes so terribly daunting. It isn’t so much about it’s impressive, awestricking size as it is the promise of what waits for her inside. All of those glamorous people and their lavish lifestyles. Their clean faces and pristine manners.

“Come on.” Mai gives her a gentle nudge.

She quietly follows her up the stairs. More stairs than she has ever ascended in her life.

“Nervous?”

“Why do you say that?”

“You aren’t chattering my ears off.”

“This isn’t nervous silence, it’s a...uh...it’s a happy hush.”

“A happy hush?” Mai quirks a brow. For once her amusement is quite thinly veiled. “If you say so.”

Inside the palace is somehow more elegant than its grand exterior. Portraits and tapestries cover gold trimmed walls. Candles flicker in filigree wall holders fixed to many great pillars. Everything is huge, almost absurdly so. She wanders up to a vase and eyes it. She thinks that she can squirm her way into and stand within with her head only just peeking out of it. She makes off to try when Mai says, “I know what you’re thinking. Don’t you dare crawl into that pot.”

Snapdragon frowns and scrambles to catch up with her.

“You really like exploring, don’t you?”

She nods, “you should see the jungles of Hira’a. They were really fun to explore. I was found in a jungle, you know?”

“That explains a lot.”

They pass by several guards and servants. Their eyes seem to follow her. The unease works its way back in, pushing out her sense of adventure. She finds that the stares of the servants have nothing on the glances she receives when Mai leads her into the banquet hall. Around the table are what she can imagine are councilmen, esteemed generals, and noble folk.

She had made a small effort to clean herself up today but she feels absolutely filthy amid all of them. They all smell so pleasantly and there isn’t a smudge of mud on them at all. Not on their finery and certainly not on their skin. Her tummy turns with flutters and queasiness.

“It’s alright.” Mai assures her.

“I don’t think I fit in well with this lot.”

The murmur as Mai leads her past them and she finds herself sticking close to the woman.

“Hi, Mai.” The Fire Lord greets.

“Zuko.” Mai returns the greeting.

“Who is this?”

“Just call her Snapdragon. You’ll understand if you talk to her more.” She pauses. “She wanted to see the palace so I’m giving her the tour and taking her to the spa.”

“Please do.” Comments a man near the far end of the table. “She smells of industrial waste.”

“She smells like an alley dweller.”

Snapdragon stuffs her hands into her pockets and tries to focus on something else. Something like the food. She has never seen so much of it in one place. She thinks that they have everything here; teeming blows of various and colorful fruits, plump roast duck, cabbage stew, miso soup, and plenty of noodles. And it all smells so enticing--unlike her, apparently.

“If you want to take her there you can and then you can join us for dinner. She can wear one of Azula’s outfits.”

At least some jubilance returns to her. She’s going to get to taste the delightfully scented food. Not only is she going to eat lavishly but she will get to do it in comfortable robes.

“This way.” Mai beckons.

The room she finds herself in next is also amazing. The dragon reliefs jutting from the backmost wall gleam in the sunlight that pours through a wide slit on the ceiling. There are plenty of shiny things in here. Glass bottles in many shapes and sizes, golden combs and brushes, a few small sculptures, and these little polished stones that accent the corners of each table. Snapdragon looks to the left and to the right before swiping one of the empty bottles and a polished stone.

“How are you not in jail?”

“I take worthless stuff, I don’t get caught, ‘n you don’t tattle.”

“You can keep the bottle, they won’t miss that. But, remember when you told me that sometimes you find stuff that isn’t trash and so people chase you?”

She nods.

“The stones aren’t trash. They’re rare gems and you will get chased.” She swipes the gemstone back and puts it at the corner of the table. “By the palace guard.”

Snapdragon rubs the back of her head. “I’ll just keep the bottle.” She sits herself down and leans back. The chair isn’t exactly comfortable and the sink is cool on her neck. Though it becomes significantly more pleasant when the servants arrive and begin scrubbing shampoo into her hair. Yet it is still so jarring to find herself being spoiled like this. And she still has a bath waiting for her. They are surprisingly gentle when working the more matted knots out of her hair. A few times they cut the knots out entirely. They finish washing her hair and sit her up. She didn’t realize that she’d be getting a haircut.

“There were a lot of knots that we couldn’t work with.” One of the servants apologizes softly. “We’re going to cut your hair and make it even.”

She stammers out a word or two of consent and by the time that they are done with her, her head feels so much lighter.

“I’ll show you to your bath.”

She follows the girl to the bathroom and slips out of her dirty robe. Once she gets herself situated the servant offers smiles, “would you like me to?”

“Like you to what?”

The girl laughs. “Give you a scrub.” She gently rubs the soap against Snapdragon’s shoulder. “Some nobles enjoy not having to do any of the work. The princess let us soap her back and arms but preferred to do the rest herself.”

“Oh…” she replies. “I’ll do it myself.” It is one thing to lounge in the communal bath and another entirely to let someone get that touchy.”

The girl hands her the bar of soap. “When you are done with it you can hand it back.” She gestures to another girl. “And when you are ready to get out Yora has your towel ready.

Snapdragon nods. She hadn’t realized that bathing was such a complex ritual.

“Try to relax.” Yora says. “We’re here to make bath time more leisurely for you.”

She supposes that it is nice to not have to scamper around for a towel and a change of clothes. She sinks into the tub and scrubs away at her arms until the water is dirtied. They drain it and fill it again until it comes away crystal clear. A floral aroma rises in languid curls of steam and she feels herself drifting off. She ought to savor the comfort because she probably won’t get a chance like this again.

“Aren’t you hungry?” Mai calls into the room.

The reminder leaves her belly rumbling so she gestures for the towel. She wraps it around her body and Yora pats her hair dry with a second one. The first serving girl hands her the most elegant robes.

.oOo.

She looks rather lovely. Well groomed and without that layer of, Snapdragon is rather pretty. Her eyes are wide and bright. Her freckled and soft. If not for the gaps in her teeth and her gangly limbs, she could very well pass for nobility.

That is until she actually takes her seat and begins eating. She doesn’t do it with the poise that the rest of them do. In fact she is a fast eater and she doesn’t bother with silverware nor chopsticks. Not even with the soups. She makes her way through the platters eating only bits and pieces, as though she can’t decide what to eat. And Mai think that, that is just it. She has so many options that she doesn’t know which to choose. Her innocent curiosity is almost endearing. If only she had some table manners.

At last Snapdragon seems to find a favorite and focuses on a helping of roast duck.

“Very good.” She says between mouthfuls.

Mai’s face flushes for her. The woman is clearly blessed with obliviousness and with her focus entirely on enjoying her meal she is spared the weight of a roomful of judging glowers. The only other person who doesn’t openly gawk at her is Zuko, who makes an effort to look away. She guesses that he understands what it is like to be spellbound and captured by the grandeur of the palace and its spoils.

Mai taps her and Snapdragon looks up from her roast duck. “You might want to slow down, you’re going to make yourself sick.”

And the ignorance is gone. Her face flushes. “They’re all staring at me.”

Mai grimaces. “Yeah. That too.”

She has to admire the woman’s resilience. She finishes her roast duck and a bowl of miso soup in spite of the disgusted stares. She helps herself to a small dessert as well--a bite or two of mochi--before setting it down.

.oOo.

Snapdragon leans back in her chair. She doesn’t think that she has ever been this full in her life. She certainly didn’t realize that being so full could ache like being completely empty. Though it is a much different kind of ache. A more sluggish, heavy ache. She supposes that it beats the painful, yearning kind.

“You feel nauseous, don’t you?” Mai rolls her eyes. “I told you to slow down.”

“I never get this much at Mohi’s place. I wanted to try…”

“A bit of everything.” Mai nods. “I can bring you back here again, you know.”

She surveys the table. Many of the nobles are pushing in their chairs and shooting her begrudging parting glances. “Do you think that’sa good idea?”

Mai shrugs. “Who cares. Honestly, I think that this place could use someone like you. It wouldn’t be so dull and uptight if everyone here wasn’t so…”

“If they didn’t act like someone shoved a prickly pear up their...”

Mai chuckles before cutting her off. “I was going to say rigid. But, yeah, that too.”

Snapdragon folds her arms across her chest.

“You got some sauce on your face.” She dabs at the corner of the woman’s mouth. “Let’s get you to bed.”

“I can’t stay here. Mohi gets worried. She ain’t say it but I know she does.”

“Alright, I’ll let Zuko know that I’m taking you home.”

She shakes her head. “I don’t recommend that. Jus’ let me go, the streets ‘round Mohi’s ain’t nice at night.”

“Then I’ll tell Zuko to loan you a pellinquin.”

“I can walk by myself, I’m used to it. One time I took down three muggers, I only got one black eye and my nose was really swollen and…”

“I’ll also bring a few guards along.”

.oOo.

“Are you sure that you want to leave? If you want you can stay in the palace with Mai.” Zuko offers.

“I’m sure.” Snapdragon nods. “I like being in my nest.”

“Your nest?”

“Don’t get her started on that, Zuko.”

“It isn’t any trouble. I think that it would be nice to have you around a little longer.”

“Uh...no thanks.” Snapdragon murmurs. “I’ll come back with Mai some time.”

“The nobles were making you uncomfortable, weren’t they? They’re usually not around.”

“I don’t think I belong in a palace.” Snapdragon says. “It’s easier out there, you know what’s goin’ on in people's heads. Nobles like to be all secretive and slick. That’s what Mohi says. In the streets you get punched in the face and then you know who to look out for. You never know who hates you in a place like this.” She takes a breath. “I mean I do ‘cause I guess that I’m such a freak that they couldn’t hide how they felt.”

“You’re not a freak, Snapdragon.” Mai sighs. “All of these people have decades of etiquette training. Do you know how hard they drill this stuff into your head? If you ask me, that’s what’s freaky.”

“Did they drill it into your head?”

Mai sighs, “why do you think I’m so…” she gives Zuko a pointed stare. “Blah.”

“You ain’t blah.”

“Thanks.” She mutters. “Can you loan us that pellinquin now, Zuko.”

He inhales sharply. “I’ll get a few guards to accompany you.”

“Do you want to come back here some time?” Mai askes. “Or have you been traumatized.”

“I don’t really like the folks here but…” She holds a hand to her tummy, “the food is great and,” she runs her fingers through her hair, “it’s nice to be all clean. Jasmine smells nice.”

“How about this, I’ll tomorrow I’ll meet you at the factory and I can teach you some palace etiquette.”

“I still wanna be in my nest.”

“We can converse in the palace gardens and in your factory. Don’t you want to explore a new place.”

Snapdragon nods.

Mai takes just a moment to wonder just what she is getting herself into. But, Agni, the woman had been so delighted when she stepped into the palace. She supposes that Snapdragon will be worth the hassle of...of dealing with Snapdragon. Mai’s lips quirk up into a slight smile. “Alright, let’s get you back to Mohi’s.”

#Avatar The Last Airbender #Azula #Mai #Maizula #Fanfiction

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cloudshapedpatch · 5 years ago

Text

Misguided Royalty

Chapter 1: The Royal Guard Ain’t Shit

💚 💚 💚 💚 💚 💚 💚 💚

The wind teased the small buds on the trees. The nearly bare branches swayed in the pleasant breeze. Far off yonder laid the mountains. They appeared blue against the cloudy sky, and the tips of the peaks shone white with glittering snowmelt.

Despite the gloomy weather, a girl crept among the bushes of her mother's garden. She was fourteen years old, and dreading her next birthday. This part is important, so you must listen closely.

A 15 year old girl was deemed a woman. A great party was held in her honor to celebrate her passing into adulthood. She would begin courting the young men of the town, laying her fate down in the hands of her father.

This particular girl, however, was not excited for her 15th birthday.

It was not because she thought her party would be boring. She was sure it would be the talk of the town.

It was not because she did not want to marry. She was quite the romantic, and had been dreaming of this for quite some time.

It was not because she wanted to remain a child, young and free. She was ready to be esteemed as a responsible adult.

Well, maybe she was a little nervous because of those things. But those thoughts gave her the warm flutters of anticipation. The real reason she did not want to turn 15 was because of the role it placed on her shoulders.

For at 15, she was set to become the next ruler of China.

So, what was the princess doing in the garden while the sky was preparing to weep? She was running from her scholar.

Marinette was not fond of most of her studies. She ~

Oh, I apologize. Did I forget to mention her name? Well, it's Marinette. Princess Marinette Cheng. I'll have to ask that you excuse my pardon.

As I was saying, Marinette liked to learn of her kingdom's history, and of it's geography. However, she did not enjoy her etiquette counseling. Poor child was constantly dropping tea cups and tripping over her own two feet. It seemed, for the young girl, that the list of rules to follow was ever-growing.

So Marinette, the esteemed princess, was crouching among the rose bushes and making her way to the stone arches on the other side of the statue of her mother. If she could just get there, then she could use the hidden passage and ~

“Your Highness! This is not very lady-like of you."

Marinette rolled her eyes whilst still hidden, but heaved a sigh and stood. Her hands fiddled with a ribbon from her dress.

"I apologize."

“Princess, you must master your studies. You must be a capable empress by the solstice."

It was true. Her birthday was on the summer equinox, fitting for royalty if I may say so. She would have to not only be ready to become empress, but also to become a wife.

"Oh, you and I both know I'd just be a consort." She said bitterly.

Her scholar, a stocky elder whose surname was Damocles, gasped.

"That is hardly befitting language to be coming from you. You are to be empress."

However, Marinette could only roll her eyes. Damocles gave her a wary look, and she looked to her feet in shame.

“Besides, Your Highness, it is not safe out here. We must go inside at once.”

Even I hate to admit it, but he was right. This was no time for the princess to be dawdling about in the open. Who knows who could be listening?

Well, I would know. But that is because I am the all-knowing narrator. You must find out of your own accord as the story progresses.

Sir Damocles led the upset princess back into the palace, where she was immediately summoned to her room. She was going to have dinner with the emperor tonight, she must look her finest.

Many maids fluttered about Marinette, tugging at her clothes and hair. She did not like this one little bit. She preferred the nightly routine better; it was much more gentle. But alas, soon her makeup was touched to match her fresh hair-do.

This was the dinner attire. The silk weighed heavily on her shoulders. And oh, how she fumed as she made her way to the dining hall.

At one end of the long table sat her mother with her shimmering eyes. Everyone adored Empress Sabine. She was just and kind to the entire kingdom, and was always making trips to far off cities to check on the people.

And at the other end of the table sat the Emperor himself. His large frame almost made the roast boar seem small in front of him.

“Thank you for joining us, Princess. Please, have a seat.”

Warily, Marinette sat at the middle of the long table. Silence filled the room as she was served.

Sabine cleared her throat after many long minutes. “So, honey, how were your studies?”

“They were fine, mother. They were the same as they always are.” She gave her steaming plate more attention than it deserved.

My goodness, I’ve never known how moody a child could be until Marinette came around.

Emperor Dupain looked up from his food to stare at Marinette. “Do we need to hire a new teacher?”

“NO!”

The only sound the could be heard was Empress Sabine’s chopsticks falling on the table.

“I mean... that won’t be needed, Your Majesty. Damocles is a fantastic teacher. Thank you.”

“If there is a problem with your studies, then it must be addressed.”

“No, Your Majesty. There is no issue.”

“I just want what is best for you.”

“I can’t say that I agree, tìdài. You want what’s best for the kingdom.”

“Marinette!” Empress Sabine scolded, but she had already stood from the table.

“If you will excuse me, I must be getting some rest. I have a lot more to learn from Sir Damocles in the morning.” And then, she was gone.

She had stormed up to her room. Very typical of her.

Marinette’s personal maids had followed her into her bedroom to remove her makeup and help her into her nightclothes, but she waved them away glumly. Thankfully for the sanity of everyone in the castle, they knew just what to do when the princess was feeling down. So they sent word for the apprentice messenger.

The sun was setting when Alya Cesaire arrived at the palace gates. A royal guard hurried her through a side entrance and immediately to Marinette’s bedroom.

Upon hearing the knock on her door, Marinette only groaned.

“Oh please, Your Exquisite Royalness, do let me in.”

Alya smirked to the guard as they heard something hard fall to the ground on the other side of the door, followed by a quiet grunt of pain. Then in a flash, Alya was pulled into the room and onto the bed.

“Alya! What are you doing here?” The blue haired girl practically shouted.

“I’m here to see you, of course! Why else would I have rode in at sunset?”

“An important message?”

“Possibly. I do have the latest gossip from the market square. Would you like to hear it?”

“Would I? You know it always cheers me up.”

Marinette settled herself on her bed while Alya dramatically cleared her throat.

“Well, everyone is still quite upset with Emperor Dupain. The raised taxes are causing some women to start selling pottery and jewelry. Although, no one is buying because everyone else is struggling.”

“Awful! What else?”

“Lady Haprele got a new hat and has been parading the streets with it. It’s absolutely heinous.”

The girls giggled quietly as Alya started to brush Marinette’s long hair.

Unbeknownst to them, a stranger lurked in the shadows of the princess’s balcony.

He had been watching her all day. He listened in the garden, he eavesdropped their dinner conversation. He had a plan for exactly how he was going to obtain the bounty over the princess’s head. 5,000 gold pieces was certainly worth the effort to kill her.

I don’t know. He seemed like a bitch when he accepted the job.

Now he was here, sitting behind a tall plant and listening to her and Alya chatting about the latest gossip and occasionally switching back to talk about her father.

Correction; her step-father.

Emperor Dupain was not liked among the people. He taxed them when he wanted to go on a trip and barley kept the kingdom in working order. Anyone who was willing to marry him surely was just as uncaring as him. You can imagine how surprised the citizens felt about meeting their new Empress. But they had never seen the heir to their throne yet. She had yet to make an appearance, and her absence reminded everyone of the Emperor. It was not unexpected for the people to be wary. But oh, how they hated her. Never even met her, and yet they wanted her dead.

Could you blame the bounty hunter for accepting? Perhaps the Emperor would be next, and their kingdom would be saved under the wise hand of Empress Sabine. He made a silent promise that he would never let the corrupt princess into power.

This, however, became a problem. As he spent more and more time listening, he started sympathizing for her. He had yet to lay eyes on her, but when he did he was sure that he would be able to go through with the treason.

His cat-like ears twitched as he heard the Princess’s sweet voice bid her friend goodbye. He readied to jump into action, dagger in hand, as she stepped out into the night.

“Hello, Princess. It seems you’ve run out of time.”

She spun on her heel and gasped. And that was when he saw her.

Beautiful. Was the first thing that came to to his mind. His heart stopped beating for a moment, then pumped double-time as her impossibly blue eyes glittered with unshed tears.

“You’re... you’re... you’re Chat Noir.” It came as a coarse whisper. His heart twinged to hear her so scared, and it confused him.

Hell, I’d be confused too.

Before he could process the situation, she had stepped back, her foot catching on a flower pot. His callused hand grabbed her own before she could fall.

She looked at him in fear and confusion, her eyes flitting to the sharp dagger dangling lazily in his free hand.

Almost hastily, he pulled her up until she got her footing.

“You’re here to kill me, aren’t you?”

Now that he wanted to speak, the words stuck in his throat.

“Um...”

Without thinking, he sheathed his knife. He looked away only to give in and gaze at her once again.

“That was the plan, yes.”

Much to his surprise, she took a deep breath and held her arms out at her sides, eyes shut tight. “Do what you must. I must be worth a lot. That is, assuming you’re getting paid off.”

“Are you sure, Your Highness? Does 5 grand seem enough?”

“Dear goodness, I’d have thought I was worth more than that.”

“Have you no sense of self preservation?”

“At this rate, I’ll be lucky to make it to the solstice.”

Now Chat Noir was heavily confused. On one hand, everything he had heard of the princess was malicious. But the girl standing valiantly before him was anything but.

“What’s happening on the solstice?”

Marinette opened one eye. “You don’t know?”

“I can’t say that I do, Princess.”

“Does anyone else know?”

“Not that I’m aware of.”

Her hand dropped dramatically to her hips. “I will be turning fifteen. I will begin courting and soon after I will be married. I suppose to just become a consort.”

Chat Noir stood slack-jaw to hear the princess speak in this way.

“But I guess I won’t get to see that day, hm? Do you make all your victims talk like this?”

“Well, you aren’t a victim.” He said confidently. Truth be told, he felt a little weak. Then and there, he decided he could not kill the princess. Something stirred inside that told him not to. And when your life is spent on the run, you learn to trust your gut.

He still seems shady to me.

“I’m not?”

“Not anymore.”

“I suppose that’s good.” She still looked troubled, but she slowly walked over to her door. “Um, good night?”

“Yeah. I... I mean, good night, Your Highness.”

She certainly had not let him off the hook. Good for her! Marinette looked at him quizzically before softly closing her door and closing the curtains.

As Chat Noir leapt off the dark balcony, he had many thoughts swirling in his mind. But the most prominent one was, ‘What will I tell Papillon?’

#@mikoriin #marichat #secret lovers au #ancient china #princess and a bounty hunter #miraculous ladybug #chat noir #marinette cheng

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artificialqueens · 4 years ago

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Level Up, Chapter Six (Branjie) - Holtzmanns

Asia shoots her a look that is all too knowing. “Sure it ain’t. But if Brooke already had a girlfriend, wouldn’t you be pissed?”

“Why would I care?” Vanessa takes a sip of her coke, because really, why would she? It wouldn’t matter. Not at all.

“Here’s a weird thought,” Monique lets out a little snicker as she leans forward, elbows on the table, “imagine if Brooke and Kameron were dating each other.”

“The fuck-”

“No way-”

“Aren’t they sisters?”

“They have different last names, dumbass-”

AN: Chapter six has arrived! I appreciate all of you for being so patient with this fic, especially with the updates taking more time than they used to. Thank you all for the kind words and reviews too, they make me so happy. Tell me what you think of this one after you read it, too. And as always, Writ is the bestest beta and I love them.

“I vote ramen, ‘cause it’s been way too long since I’ve had my ramen fix.”

“Not ramen, we gotta get burritos. They’ll hit the spot right now.”

“Y’know, sometimes you make real questionable decisions.”

Monet and Monique volleying back and forth with one another is incredibly entertaining to watch, though Vanessa’s too wiped from their class to attempt to contribute to the dinner plans herself. Their weekly Monday night dinners had been Asia’s idea a few months back, brought up after class one night when they’d all been sweaty and thirsty and absolutely starving. Vanessa likes it, because it’s a chance to get closer to the three of them outside of class, learning about them past their hatred for cardio and their preferred colour of athleisure wear.

The sushi place a couple of blocks down from the gym is one that all four of them can agree on, as Asia holds the door open for Monet and Monique with a look at Vanessa.

“Ten bucks says they’re gonna order together and share their sushi.” Asia cocks her head towards Monique and Monet as the four of them sit down in a booth.

Vanessa watches the way that Monet and Monique nudge each other’s elbows, trying to take up more space on the table. “Nah. They’re gonna fight over each other’s pieces and make it a whole thing.”

“You’re on.” Asia holds out her hand for Vanessa to shake. “It’s kinda cute though, not gonna lie. In an idiotic way.”

Vanessa holds back a snicker. “Do you think they’re ever gonna realize?”

“I dunno about that.” Asia shrugs. “It seems like they’re so caught up in trying to get each other’s attention that they’re completely missing it.”

“Ah. Modern romance.” Vanessa lets out a fake sigh and dodges Asia’s elbow towards her rib cage.

“They’re blind to each other, not deaf to us,” Asia mutters, “so shut that foghorn.”

“Bitch-”

“Hi, my name is Simone, what can I get for you?”

The conversation doesn’t stray far after the four of them order, though the focus does shift - and Vanessa is glad that it does, from the way Asia folds her arms and scowls at the mention of a certain redheaded instructor, the slightest hint of pink on her cheeks.

“Fuck off, all of you. There’s nothing going on between me and Kameron.”

“Uh, let me correct you. Nothing yet.” Monique points at Asia with a flourish, looking unbothered when Asia sticks her tongue out at her. “Why don’t you ask her out? She’s clearly into you.”

“What? No she’s not.” Asia scoffs, her eyes darting around the table. “Is she?”

Vanessa snorts. “Please. As if it isn’t obvious to the entire class by the way that she flirts with you. And the way that you always flirt back.”

“I don’t flirt back. I don’t flirt in the first place.” Asia stuffs a piece of sushi in her mouth, though it doesn’t do much to stall the conversation the way she probably wants it to.

“Oh, Kameron, your muscles are so strong and your tattoos are so hot, can I lick them?” Monique’s high pitched, breathy imitation makes Vanessa nearly spit out her coke, even when Asia kicks her under the table.

“Come here, Asia, let me just bench press you real quick.” Monet flexes her guns for good measure when imitating Kameron, and puckers her lips towards Monique, who comes closer and closer with a pout of her own before pulling back at the last second, batting her eyelashes towards Asia.

“Hateful, unbelievable, I cannot believe my own friends are slandering me like this when all I do is support y’all and put food on the table-” Asia’s words are cut off when Vanessa holds up a roll to her mouth.

“Here, this dynamite roll will help you embrace the truth.” Vanessa snickers when Asia throws her the evil eye as she chews. “‘Kay, think of it this way. If Kameron had a girlfriend right this second, would you be mad about it?”

“She doesn’t have a girlfriend.” Asia’s matter of fact tone makes Vanessa raise her eyebrows, while Monet and Monique throw looks at each other. “What? She doesn’t.”

“Now is there any way that you know that, or is that just wishful thinking on your part?” Monet asks, ignoring the way Asia lets out a huff.

Vanessa pats Asia’s shoulder. “She better not have a girlfriend, just so you can get some puss and unwind a little, you know what I’m saying?”

“See, now you’re one to talk, Vanj.” Asia turns towards Vanessa, brandishing a roll in her chopsticks and using it to point. “As if you and Brooke aren’t circling each other like hawks.”

“What?” Vanessa squeaks the word out because hey, she’s having fun roasting Asia.

But it’s too late, because Monique and Monet have matching grins on their faces and Asia looks entirely too happy to have the conversation diverted away from her.

“Now that I think about it, you do spend a lot of time in her office. Does she push you up against the desk that much?” Monet wiggles her eyebrows and Vanessa lets out a scoff.

“It ain’t like that.”

It’s not. Brooke is…her friend. Someone who Vanessa enjoys talking to and learning more about, someone whose smile lights up the room she’s in when she’s really happy. Someone who, for being muscles stacked on a pair of legs, is really clumsy on a set of wheels.

Someone who Vanessa wants to keep spending more time with, that’s all. It doesn’t matter if Vanessa thinks about kissing her sometimes, anyway. Her friends don’t need to know that.

Asia shoots her a look that is all too knowing. “Sure it ain’t. But if Brooke already had a girlfriend, wouldn’t you be pissed?”

“Why would I care?” Vanessa takes a sip of her coke, because really, why would she? It wouldn’t matter. Not at all.

“Here’s a weird thought,” Monique lets out a little snicker as she leans forward, elbows on the table, “imagine if Brooke and Kameron were dating each other.”

“The fuck-”

“No way-”

“Aren’t they sisters?”

“They have different last names, dumbass-”

But the idea is enough for the four of them to burst into laughter, move on to other topics. And Vanessa’s glad for it, because she can take a step away from thoughts of Brooke for a little while.

Except that they filter back into her stream of consciousness as she sips on her soda, twirling her chopsticks between her fingers. Vanessa would be lying if she ever says that she hasn’t…y’know. Thought about Brooke like that. Because Vanessa’s not blind, Brooke is hot and tall and her legs go on forever and maybe the way she smiles makes Vanessa’s heart do a flip, but-

Brooke is so much deeper than that. Their friendship is. Because Vanessa’s told her shit that she doesn’t really talk about with anyone else, and sure, she’s kept it vague, but it’s more than she lets anyone else be privy to. And Brooke’s beginning to open up to her too and it’s nice to see what makes Brooke tick. What thoughts lie behind her fists and the subtle lift of her eyebrow and power her brain. It feels like Brooke’s trusting her, and thinking of her as more than just an athlete at her gym. Hell, Brooke had let Vanessa take her skating, something out of her comfort zone and had just rolled with it.

Vanessa likes it. And it’s hard not to smile as she finishes her sushi, watching Monique down glass after glass of water because she’s had too much wasabi, thinking about hanging out with Brooke even more.

Plumbers are expensive. Brooke can fix a simple leak.

At least, that’s what she had told herself two hours ago, before being splattered with water and who knows what else and feeling a squelch in her shoes and rattling off every curse word under the sun, as she twists the wrench in her hand because the stupid thing still won’t stop leaking, damnit.

But the bathroom is going to be unusable if Brooke can’t fix it. She’d looked up a tutorial on Youtube and everything, and the guy on the screen had made it look so easy, just with a few tools that she already has lying around in the storage closet. Who needs to shell out a couple hundred bucks for a plumber when Youtube exists?

Brooke, apparently. Because the leak is continuing to drip, drip onto the bathroom floor and is nearly filling up the bucket underneath it.

Maybe Brooke just has to watch the video again. Maybe she’d missed something the first time around, a crucial step that has to be done in order to stop the leak. She reaches her hand up to pat the counter above her, grabbing her phone when she feels it under her hand, and-

“What’re you doing under the bathroom sink?”

“What - ow!” Brooke winces at the ache forming at the crown of her head, lifting a hand to her still speeding heart. “You scared me.”

“Sorry.” Vanessa’s voice sounds sheepish from above her, before she squats down beside Brooke and shrugs her shoulders. “You having an 80’s movie moment or something?”

“What does that even mean?”

“I dunno. Sitting in the bathroom by yourself seems deep.”

Brooke snorts, lifting the wrench in her hand the point at the pipe in front of them. “No movie scene. Just fixing a leak. Well, attempting to fix a leak,” Brooke groans, rolling out her neck, “because it’s refusing to cooperate with me.”

“Scoot over.” Vanessa elbows Brooke’s side, fitting herself in the small space beside her. “Gimme the wrench.”

“Why, you wouldn’t happen to have a hidden career in plumbing, would you?”

But Vanessa’s barely listening, leaning forward to look at the pipes. “Broken seal right under the sink. Get some sealant from Home Depot and it’ll be good as new.”

Well. Maybe Vanessa does.

“You think as a kid my mom was gonna, in her words, ‘let a crook rip us off and break everything more so that we have to pay extra ‘cause it’s all part of a money making scheme?’ Nah. I can find my way around some tools.” Vanessa hands the wrench back to Brooke before nudging her shoulder. “Now that’ll be two hundred dollars, please.”

“Nice try.” Brooke snorts. “But thank you. Let me grab you lunch or something?”

“Well…there is something I wanted to ask you about anyway.” Vanessa’s shifting in place, her eyes suddenly flickering back along the pipes. “And no pressure to say yes at all, ‘cause I was just wondering, but it would be real great…”

The way Vanessa trails off makes Brooke raise an eyebrow, turn towards her because she has no idea what Vanessa’s talking about, but maybe it’s because Vanessa doesn’t really want her to stick around for extra training anymore, or maybe Vanessa’s tired of spending time with her, or something else that’s going to make Brooke want to hide away for a little. But Brooke swallows, ignores the way that she feels her lungs filling up, and pushes on. “What? What would be great?”

“So hear me out first, don’t get mad…” Vanessa trails off, and the way she’s fiddling with the ends of her hair makes Brooke want to shift in place herself. “There’s another tournament coming up. Kameron mentioned it during class yesterday. And I know that’s not your thing, and that’s cool, but I wanted to sign up for it at a higher level than last time and maybe…you can help train me for it?”

Brooke’s about to open her mouth but doesn’t really know what to say, because Vanessa’s right that it’s not her thing, but Vanessa holds up a hand before she does. “Don’t say anything. Just think about it. I’d pay you and everything, though with the rate that all these classes are taking my money I’m about to be broke as hell. But still. Think it over?”

Vanessa’s getting up onto her feet, slinging her bag over her shoulder before Brooke can even think of something to say. “So. Sealant. Home Depot. Maybe training me? I can be your padawan or something. You into Star Wars? ‘Cause I was, as a kid. Anyway, I gotta bounce, but think about it!”

Vanessa shouts the last bit as she exits through the door and Brooke can’t help but let out a breath, resting her cheek on one of her palms as she watches the slow and steady drip of the water from the pipe.

She really does have a lot to think about. But that’s what Brooke is good at doing, after all–thinking, and thinking, and overthinking. Mulling over scenario after scenario until they all blur together and it becomes too difficult, really, to discern what is actually real and going to happen. Not that Brooke even knows.

Vanessa’s question stays in her mind once she’s home that evening, curled up on the couch with Henry and Apollo on either side of her, the episode of Parks and Recreation on the television one that she’s seen a dozen times already. Brooke can hear Yvie clanging her pots and pans in the kitchen, letting out a string of curse words when the oven begins to beep, but the noises of her roommate and from the television aren’t enough to distract her mind from what it really wants to think about.

Vanessa wants Brooke to coach her. Actually, properly, coach her. It’s not as if Brooke doesn’t do it right now, anyway - spending time with her in the gym behind a punching bag and giving Vanessa tips here and there. But it’s never for an actual purpose, to reach a goal. It’s just for Vanessa to get better, to motivate her and sue Brooke, she enjoys the time with her, too.

But coaching towards something, like the tournament that Vanessa wants to sign up for?

It feels too…close. Boxing in the gym is safe, because punching bags and controlled matches leave some room for error but not too much, not the way a competition does. The athletes at Brooke’s gym don’t go home with broken noses or goose eggs on their heads, because they’re not fighting to win at all costs. They’re there to get better and work out and work on technique and if they sign up for tournaments? It’s on their individual coaches, such as Kameron. It’s not on Brooke if something bad happens, she’s not the one leading someone towards injury or…worse.

If Brooke coaches Vanessa more, if she works on drills and plans workouts and and trains her, properly trains her, then it’s on her. If anything happens to Vanessa, it’s Brooke’s fault. Brooke’s going to be the one left to pick up the pieces, the one who’s going to have to tell Vanessa’s sister and mom when things inevitably go wrong. She’ll be responsible.

Brooke can’t do that to Vanessa. She can’t be the one to ruin everything for her, the one to mess things up in a way that can’t be fixed anymore.

“Scoot over.” Yvie plops herself down on the couch beside Brooke, pulling the blanket on Brooke’s lap to cover her own legs, too. “Want some? Latest kitchen experiment. It’s supposed to be jambalaya but I strayed a little from the recipe. Well, I strayed a lot. But still.”

“It’s 10 p.m. You’re having dinner this late?” Brooke raises an eyebrow but reaches for a spoon nonetheless, taking a bite. “This isn’t half bad.”

“Scarlet facetimed me in the middle and I got distracted.” Yvie shrugs, taking a bite of her own. “But we got here in the end.”

“What, did she hypnotize you with her boobs or something to make you forget about your dinner?” Brooke ducks out of the way when Yvie shrieks, whacking her with a pillow.

“One day, your lonely ass is gonna get a girlfriend, and I can’t wait to tease you about it, you old hag.” Yvie cackles as she says it and Brooke can’t help but snort, too.

“You share this old hag apartment with me. We’re both old hags.”

“Speak for yourself, grandma.” Yvie lifts up her bowl when Henry climbs into her lap, reaching his nose up towards the food. “Speaking of the apartment, I’m thinking of doing a Target run Sunday morning for a cast iron skillet. Wanna come with?”

“Can’t. Gonna be at the gym with Vanessa on Sunday morning.” Just like Brooke does every Sunday, and many other days during the week, but she can feel the way her heart turns in her chest, the way it feels like there’s a current running through her fingertips because…

Well, Brooke still doesn’t know what to do.

“Hello? Did you hear anything I just said?” Yvie’s snapping her fingers in front of her face and Brooke jumps, causing Apollo to let out an annoyed meow.

“Maybe? Not really. Sorry.” Brooke mumbles, shifting Apollo on her lap. “Repeat that?”

“I was gonna say we can go Saturday instead. But let’s backtrack, why do you look like you just swallowed a bag of nails or something?” Yvie tilts her head slightly, and Brooke can’t help but make a face at her description.

“Nails? Jesus.” The mental image is a little too strong in Brooke’s brain for her liking, but Yvie is unperturbed.

“What’s up?”

Brooke sighs, her hand scratching Apollo’s chin the way that he likes it. “Vanessa asked me to coach her.”

“And? You’re already doing that.” Yvie raises an eyebrow.

Brooke shuffles on the couch, turning more towards her. “Yeah, but I’m not officially coaching her right now, I’m just there to hold the punching bag and sometimes throw her pointers, it’s not like I’m her personal coach and responsible if things happen to her and it ends up being my fault.”

“Alright, hold up.” Yvie covers her mouth as she chews, though she still gets her words out. “Your fault? And who says anything is going to happen to her?”

“I’m not saying it will, but if it did.” Brooke sinks herself further into the couch cushions. “Boxing competitively is a lot, y’know? It’s not just easy matches and punches, it’s hits to the head and occasional tears and stitches. It’s shit going down that you don’t feel until after the match is over.”

“And? Vanessa’s a grown woman. And from what you’ve told me about her, it seems like she can handle herself just fine.”

It’s true that Yvie’s heard a lot of stories from Brooke about Vanessa. About the hilarious things that she says, the way she cheers anytime there’s a water break during her classes, the way she brought Brooke some timbits that one time. But the way Yvie’s looking at Brooke with eyes that are too knowing makes her want to shift in place, pull a cushion on top of herself.

“But what if something happens and she can’t?”

“Here’s the thing. Bad things happen all the time. When you step onto the street, you can be hit by a car. Hell, a vending machine can fall on you. You can get attacked by a vulture or something-”

“I’m not so sure about that last one-”

“-and honestly, there’s no stopping any of it. Shit happens. And knowing Vanessa, she seems like the type to want to train more and more and compete more too. She’s going to do it regardless of whether you’re there or not. Wouldn’t you rather be the one training her and making sure that she’s as prepared as she can be? That she’s ready? Isn’t it better that she learn from the best in the first place?” Yvie’s eyes are sympathetic, though the effect is slightly ruined as she takes a bite of her jambalaya.

“Who’s saying I’m the best?” Brooke has to hold back a laugh at the way Yvie’s rolling her eyes.

“Don’t start fishing for compliments with me, you know what I mean. If she’s competing anyway, support her. Be there for her. Beat up anyone that she loses against.”

“Not very sportsmanlike.”

“Regardless, maybe you being there can help prevent any chance of something shitty happening, because you can catch things. And you actually care for her as a person rather than just an athlete, which is more than can be said for many coaching relationships.” Yvie shrugs.

“I don’t do coaching, though. I never have before, not properly.” It’s another reminder that takes over Brooke’s thought process, because she doesn’t know how to refine someone else’s skills, not really. “What if I’m shit at it and it makes her crash and burn in a competition?”

Yvie shoots her a look. “Do you really think that’ll happen?”

“It could.”

“You take what you already know about boxing and what you’ve learned from your own coaches in the past, and you pass it on. That’s all it’s gonna take. You two can learn the rest together.” Yvie’s hopeful smile makes her words sound like the easiest thing to do in the world, but it’s not that simple. It can’t be.

“This isn’t an elementary school group project.”

“Yeah, it is. Gym class.” Yvie snickers, before reaching out to squeeze her hand. “Honestly? I feel like it could be good for both of you. You get to spend more time with her, don’t you?”

Brooke raises an eyebrow. “What does that have to do with anything?”

“As if you don’t absolutely love it and come home from each practice session with her with a million stories about her.” Yvie’s knowing look is paired with a snicker, and it makes Brooke scowl.

“I’m just telling you about my day, Yvette.”

“Not the full name, Brooke Lynn. But either way, you know you’d enjoy coaching her. You’re telling me you wouldn’t be jealous if someone else started coaching her one on one?”

“What? No, I wouldn’t care. She can do what she wants.” Brooke scoffs, because it wouldn’t matter. None of Brooke’s business what Vanessa does, anyway.

“You’re as convincing as fifteen year old me was while trying to convince my parents that no, I didn’t have a hickey on my neck from my chem lab partner. Spoiler alert, didn’t work.” Yvie has a shit-eating grin on her face that makes Brooke roll her eyes, nudge her side.

“Shut up.”

“Do it. Coach her. You know you want to.”

Yvie’s right, which is a problem in itself. Brooke really does want to. And when the clock on her bedside table passes one in the morning because she’s unable to fall asleep, she finds herself reaching for her phone.

BLH: Fine, I’ll train you.

The three dots at the bottom of their conversation pop up immediately, and Brooke rubs her eyes as she waits for Vanessa’s reply. It’s not a text that comes through, but rather an audio message that Brooke eagerly presses play on.

“BIIIIIITCH! Are you serious?! Yesss! This is gonna be so good, you won’t regret it I swear. Question, can we play Eye of the Tiger the first time we train? I feel like it’s gonna set the mood real well. Also, why you still awake? Go to sleep. NIGHT!”

Brooke has to stifle a laugh as she shuts off her phone, placing it back on her bedside table. She’s not sure how it’s going to work - coaching Vanessa, trying to recall her days of training under her dad and what she’d do day in, day out, to refine her skills. But it’ll be interesting to try and get back into that mindset.

Maybe Brooke can start now. She’s not going to fall asleep anytime soon, anyway.

It feels strange turning on her laptop and going to the boxing folder, then the subfolder of training videos organized by year, with the most recent being five years prior. The folder is a time capsule filled with videos taken at the gym of Brooke training with her dad to watch and observe her own techniques, all of her tells as a boxer. She remembers watching them during practices back then, her dad pointing out moments where she’d left herself vulnerable to attacks, others where she would have been able to strike more efficiently.

Now, when Brooke clicks on a video, she’s not watching for herself, not anymore. Now? She’s watching for her dad.

He’s in the blue t-shirt that he always used to wear, the watch with the cracked screen on his wrist as he holds up punching mitts in front of Brooke’s face on the screen. A Brooke five years ago with less worry lines on her face, less bags underneath her eyes. One with muscles that flexed as she moved, with an expression of steely determination that’s almost surprising to see now, so many years later.

“Don’t drop those arms. Even if you’re taking a second to breathe, keep them up.”

Shit.

The sound of her dad’s voice is like a cold gust of air to Brooke because she hasn’t heard it in so long, and the familiarity of his intonation, his rhythm pulls her right back. It’s as if he could still be here, as if she could wake up tomorrow and go to the gym and practice like nothing has happened, like it hasn’t been five years of trying to cope and heal and not necessarily succeeding.

“Good one. Try that combo again.”

Brooke still has the tank she’s wearing in the video, she’s sure of it. Another item that she hasn’t let go of.

“Step sideways, not always backwards. You know that. Don’t get cornered in the ring.”

She can keep watching these videos and try to relive the moments, the practices with her dad and give into the longing that clings to her heart like debris, that she’s never truly been able to shake off. It does provide that short term relief, the feeling of seeing her dad happy, breathing, alive. Seeing how good he was.

“That’s what I’m talking about! Let’s take five, grab some water. Then we’re gonna keep going.”

But it also shows Brooke a past that isn’t here anymore. A time that she’s not going to get back no matter how hard she tries to manifest it, because she can’t step into her computer screen into a simpler time that she used to take for granted. It’s a fact that she knows well, one that’s been repeated to her by friends and family members and therapists and one that her brain ignores on default, despite the way that doing so can make the knife twist in a little deeper.

“Get your gloves back on, we’ll-”

Brooke shuts her laptop, pushing it to the other side of the bed before her brain can protest. Apollo lets out a mrrp at the movement on the bed, and Brooke reaches out and scratches his chin, trying to ignore the silence in the room that feels deafening with her screen off.

She tends to get sucked in. It’s a fact that Brooke knows well. That when she finds something, she clings to it until it loses all meaning, until the sentimental value is diminished.

But Brooke isn’t going to now, with the old videos. Because sure, it’s her dad in shitty old iPhone video quality and it’s more of him than she’s had in ages, but…

It’s not helpful. Not right now.

Not that any of Brooke’s coping methods are, but she’s trying. Or at least, she’s going to start.

Brooke can almost hear the faint cheer of her old therapist in her ears, thrilled that she’s finally being listened to. Sure, it’s something insignificant, something small, and maybe part of Brooke really does want to open up her computer again, rifle through the videos, but she wont. Her hands are buried in Apollo’s fur, anyway, and why would she want the purring to stop?

Her cat is a big enough reason for now to avoid watching them, falling back into the memories. He’s a start. And maybe that’s all Brooke has to do, find more reasons to keep herself grounded and in the present.

But first, she has to find another way to prepare herself to properly coach, though that’s a problem she can save for the morning.

#rpdr fanfiction #brooke lynn hytes #vanessa vanjie mateo #branjie #lesbian au #boxer au #level up #holtzmanns

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osamusbigtits · 10 months ago

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"you called?" the courtesan teases as he closes the door of suna's suite behind him. his robe exposes his chest and leaves almost nothing to the imagination below the waist. not that suna needs to imagine.

"come here." suna beckons and pats his lap.

osamu struts over, slow strides that make suna hungier for him. osamu sits between suna's legs, resting his broad back against suna's chest.

"I couldn't stop thinking about you," suna murmurs. "I knew how much you would love a taste of this meal I have tonight. take a taste of anything you choose, baby."

"no, I couldn't, your highness. it's your dinner."

the training osamu's had instilled into him. the training that suna's slowly chipping away at. which he knows, he can see the glimmer in osamu's eye just look at the food.

a man who is so disinterested in politics it makes suna a little jealous, but more so infatuated. osamu cares more about sex and food and time spent with his mother and brother. it warms suna's heart to see so much love in one person.

suna picks up a bite of food- roasted duck with the finest seasonings in the country- and holds the chopsticks close to osamu's plush lips. he hesitates but opens for suna.

"good boy," suna whispers as he places the bite of food in osamu's mouth.

osamu moans at the taste.

"tastes good, huh?" suna asks and osamu nods. "I could have the servents start bringing you some." an offer suna's given before.

an offer that gets denied everytime. and suna knows it's coming when osamu shakes his head. "I couldn't. besides, no one wants a fat whore," osamu replies. he doesn't meet suna's eyes.

that last statement was a new excuse. although sunas is sure osamu's heard it many times, as all courtesans are told. the girls are given strict diets, just a little bit more than they need to survive, so they're skinny but well developed. and boys go through similar training the guards go through, so they're muscular. as many women in the castle prefer.

"I don't want a fat whore," suna says softly. "I want you, osamu. no matter what you look like." he wraps his arms around osamu's waist and kisses his shoulder. "skinny or fat."

"you're just saying that, my prince," osamu says softly.

suna presses his nose against osamu's cheek and osamu turns to him. "I'm not, my darling."

osamu closes his eyes. suna takes the chance to kiss osamu, slow and gentle. they pause, osamu seeming to want to say something. instead, he kisses suna again.

"bed," suna says, lips brushing against osamu's. osamu hums in acknowledgment but doesn't move, he just kisses suna again.

suna's fingers find their way underneath osamu's soft silk robe. the robe moves like water, sliding off osamu's thighs as suna slips his tongue into osamu's mouth.

"you're eager today, my prince," osamu says. he smiles as suna kisses his jaw and neck. he spreads his legs when suna wraps a hand around his length.

suna tugs osamu's robe open to ger a view of osamu's gorgeous body.

osamu's pliant and soft. he melts into suna's touch, sighing as suna feels him. those thick thighs and squishy tummy despite all the training and dieting he goes through. suna strokes osamu slowly, not to tease, but to feel osamu get hard.

with a soft laugh, osamu turns and kisses suna's cheek. "most just bend me over the nearest surface," he says.

"wanna make you feel good," suna replies. he turns and kisses osamu. he speeds up to feel osamu's breath hitch.

osamu takes suna's wrist and stands up. suna gets led to his own bedroom by osamu. and he wouldn't have in any other way.

osamu lays on the bed, his robe still on his shoulders but wide open so nothing is hidden from suna.

suna quickly unclothes himself, swearing to himself as he struggles.

osamu watches, looking over a body he's seen many times. the lust in osamu's eyes is real; the want, the need, the attraction.

finally, suna climbs over osamu, and osamu connects their lips, pulling suna's chin towards him to do so. suna braces himself on his forearms and kisses osamu deeply.

wrapping a leg around suna's waist, osamu begs for suna. "I need you," osamu whispers between messy kisses. "only you."

the admission makes suna shudder. "only me?" he asks. he finds himself doubting osamu's affection, turmoil in his heart always saying he'll get hurt if he lets anyone in.

osamu's gray eyes turn soft, his touch is just as gentle. "only you, rintarou," he says softly. "I've only ever wanted you."

something inside of suna cracks wide open, a flood of emotions and warmth. he kisses osamu to hide his swelling emotions, to distract himself from those feelings.

osamu wraps an arm around suna's chest, his hand placed on suna's back.

when suna pushes into osamu, osamu gasps. it's a shakey breath.

suna's surprised to see tears in osamu's eyes. "what's wrong?"

instead of answering, osamu just pulls suna in for a kiss.

and that's when it clicks.

this affection, this want, this need and desire between them is love. and suna's had a sneaking suspicion, but he's never confronted it.

suna bottoms out. tears stain both of their cheeks as they kiss. it's slow. it's gentle. suna could sit like this forever.

but osamu groans. "rin. please."

suna breathes out harshly. the nickname unexpected, despite osamu using it before. but it feels more important now.

the first thrust is always suna's favorite. osamu's pretty moan always makes suna's heart flutter. even now, in this intense moment, the moan floods through suna's body, right to his cock.

setting a steady pace, suna kisses osamu's face, neck, and chest. he feels the rumble of moans and gasping breathes.

osamu's hands grab suna everywhere they can reach, pulling suna closer and closer.

soon, every bit of skin possible is touching between them. and suna can't help but kiss osamu. he's never wanted- no, needed to kiss someone so much. to feel every inch of them, to hold them, to show them every single bit of love suna can give.

suna presses his forehead to osamu's. and, because suna is ultimately a coward, he keeps his eyes closed as he whispers, "I love you."

osamu comes with a broken moan and suna's following him.

suna rests on top of osamu, both of them breathing together. suna's body shakes; from the nerves, the intensity, his own feelings.

osamu grabs suna's face and kisses him softly. "I love you, too," he whispers.

and suna's falling all over again.

prince suna and his favorite courtesan, osamu

#. anyways #bex thoughts #hq #courtesan au

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a-spoonful-of-home · 5 years ago

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My Top 17 Foods To Eat In Chengdu

Szechuan cold spicy noodles 四川涼面

These are hands down my favourite food to get in Chengdu. Sitting down in the heat outside with some cold spicy noodles (and a beer - of course) is the best way to spend a hot summers day here. It’s a great mixture of garlic, spring onions, ginger, and lots of chilli oil. I think I prefer cold noodles over hot noodles because it takes the heat down a level. Just writing about these noodles is making me want to go for a walk down to the noodle joint near our complex! An absolute staple of Szechuan cuisine - 10/10!

Steamed buns 包子

Steamed buns, or baozi, kept me alive when we first arrived in Chengdu and were running round trying to get all our documents sorted. They’re so convenient and you can really get them everywhere. I love the snacking culture here in China because it means you’re never very far away from some tasty street food. Steamed buns, sweet or savoury, never break the bank and you can pick one up normally for around 20p/30p. Steamed pork buns are my favourite bun but it’s always fun to try new ones - like the custard buns that you can poke with a chopstick and squeeze all the custard out… granted it can look a little disturbing but it’s still fun!

Dumplings in chilli sauce 红油抄手

Another classic here. I wasn’t a huge fan of these the first time I tried them but now I can’t get enough of them. I think I’ve really worked up my heat tolerance since moving here and now there’s nothing better to me than a big bowl of pork dumplings covered in spicy chilli sauce! It’s the intensely aromatic sauce they’re coated with, made with vinegar, garlic, and roasted chilli oil, that makes these dumplings so irresistible. You can also get dumplings in soup but I prefer the dry dumplings with chilli sauce.

There are lots of different types of dumplings in Sichuan and China as a whole, but Zhong dumplings are named for the family who first made these in Chengdu around 100 years ago - and now they’re recognised officially as one of Szechuan’s most famous street foods! They’re a simple dumpling with sweet soy sauce and chilli oil and they’re great for beginners. James and myself were actually lucky enough to get to go on a dumpling making course when we first arrived - it was really fun!

Roast pork 烤猪肉

This isn’t a Szechuan specialty but it’s still very much available here in Chengdu. My favourite way of eating pork here so far has been where the pork is served on a sizzling plate with a sweet sauce and peanuts. Normally the server will pour the hot sauce over the pork in front of you and it’s great to watch it sizzle. I love it when meals feel more interactive like that. It’s super sticky and sweet and is everything that roast pork should really be!

Hotpot 火锅

I think it would be a sin to come to Szechuan and not try hotpot at least once. Unfortunately, I’m not the biggest fan of hotpot with red oil but I do quite like the version of hotpot at a restaurant near us that uses what I think is some kind of chicken stock/soup to boil the ingredients. This restaurant is Hong Kong themed so it’s not typical Szechuan food. When the food is cooked you dip it in a sauce that you can put together yourself - this is chillis, garlic, soy sauce, and spring onions. There are a few different types of hotpot but some of the most popular here are chuan chuan 串串 (where you get your food on long sticks and place it in the pot) and huo guo 火锅 (where you place the food directly into the pot and scoop it out when it’s ready).

It’s a really fun way to eat though because at most restaurants you start by going around a fridge section of the restaurant with a basket and get to choose what you’d like to boil, then take it back to your table and cook it in the pot with your friends. Chinese style eating is quite different to the UK because typically you share food more instead of ordering just for yourself and I really prefer it like that - it just means you get to try more things and don’t have to worry about ordering something you won’t like! It’s a much more sociable way of dining and it’s just so much more fun.

Eating with friends

It’s always so much more fun to share your cooking with your friends - especially when you all come from different parts of the world. I really love the other teachers in my class and so I decided to cook them some ‘traditional British food’ because Tina, one of the teachers, really loves trying new food. It was also a bit of a thank you for how welcoming they’d been and how much easier the job is working in our team. Of course, being the welcoming people they always are, they came to the dinner with Szechuan food for us to try too! They made us kung pow chicken, fried chicken wings, and mapo dofu (silken tofu in a spicy sauce) and we shared with them a cottage pie, potato and broccoli soup, Hellmann’s egg mayonnaise sandwiches, biscuits with brie, and a steamed syrup pudding - the best of both worlds!

Dan dan mian 担担面

Dan dan mian (noodles) are so called because historically the walking street vendors who sold the dish would have a type of carrying pole (dan dan) that they carried over their shoulder with two baskets containing the noodles and sauce at either end. The name of these noodles is literally translated to noodles carried on a pole. They’re another Szechuan staple food and one of my favourite things to pick up when I’m walking around Chengdu. They're served hot with minced pork in a spicy sauce. They’re also served with preserved vegetables like zha cai 榨菜 (lower enlarged mustard stems) and ya cai 芽菜 (upper mustard stems). Living in Chengdu has meant that I’m a lot more into preserved vegetables than I was in the UK!

Xiaolongbao 小笼包

Now this is definitely not a Szechuan food but you can still get it in some places in Chengdu. It’s associated with Wuxi and Shanghai so I’m really excited to try some more when we move cities! It is a steamed dumpling with broth inside that's typically made from chicken or pork. You eat them using a soup spoon and a pair of chopsticks and bite into the dumpling on the spoon then suck out the soup. There’s a restaurant called ‘Modern China’ that we’ve been to a fair few times. It’s got a huge menu but recently I’ve been ordering just xiaolongbao and calling that my dinner. It’s been wonderful!

Roast Duck 北京烤鸭

Some of the best roast duck that we’ve had in China (so far!) was when we went to Hongyadong 洪崖洞 in Chongqing - which was once the site of the earliest and most developed pier in ancient China. It has since become a popular destination for visitors to experience Bayu culture and houses a large-scale stilt house complex built along the bank of the Jialing River. It was full of food vendors and we ended up going for a dinner roast duck which was skilfully carved in front of us. Again - I just love food where you get to see the chef or servers work with it! The restaurant we visited is called Quanjude and it’s a restaurant famous in China for its roast duck and longstanding culinary heritage since it was established in Beijing in 1864. There’s no way that we’re going to be able to live in Shanghai without at least one trip on the bullet train to Beijing now!

There’s also a restaurant called Bao Bao Ding just near our apartment and they sell really great roast pork and duck with rice. It’s not hard to find and I’ve never found it to be anything other than delicious! James also swears by the spicy duck neck snacks that you can get here but I think they’re still too spicy for me!

BBQ 烧烤

One of the first restaurants that James and I went to near our new apartment was a BBQ joint just across the street and I fell in love with this area! I’m a big kid and I just love getting involved in cooking the food myself so I really enjoy going for BBQ here. You’re supposed to dip the cooked meat in chopped peanuts and spices when you’ve cooked it on the grill and it’s so good. Unfortunately, I went to a different BBQ joint in the city and ended up getting food poisoning (I don’t think that I cooked the chicken enough) and so I’ve got off BBQ for the moment but I’m sure I’ll be able to get back on it!

Sweet water noodles 甜水面

I love these noodles so much - they’re always the star of the show. Most famously, you can get them from the Wenshu temple area where there are plenty of vendors selling this street-side snack. They’re quite different to the other noodles in this list because they’re made using a much thicker, square-cut noodle and are served in a sweet-and-spicy sauce. They're served cold and are very chewy with a rough surface to help them grab every bit of the sugary sauce that they're served in. I really love both the chunky look of these noodles and their mouthfeel and I think they’re always going to be something that distinctively reminds me of our wonderful times in Chengdu.

Pastries 蛋糕

Although I do miss a good Greggs sausage roll - Chinese pastries really are off the hook. We live by a bakery called Holiland which opened in the mid 90’s and became the biggest chain bakery in China. I think that’s fantastic news because we won’t have to go without our Holiland fix in Shanghai! Chinese pastries and breads are typically a lot sweeter and lighter than those in the UK and always seem to be much more creative in their presentation - maybe it’s just because they’re new to me but I really find them to be so beautiful. Some of my favourite pastries here are the hotdog pastries (literally just a hotdog in sweet bread) and the half baked cheese (which is sort of like a cheesecake with no base). It’s a very dangerous shop!

Bubble tea 珍珠奶茶

I really love just how readily available bubble tea is everywhere you go here. Every famous western fast food company that’s come over to China has their own bubble tea (McDonalds is the best one) and there are so many other chains (like HeyTeaGo and Fresh One More Time) which sell some really amazing teas. It’s really going to be one of the things I miss the most when we do eventually move back to the UK. One of the best teas you can get is a watermelon tea with a cheese foam topping. There’s a lot of cheese flavoured things here (like cheese flavoured yoghurt) which I’m really into. It’s not so much a hard cheddar cheese and is more like a cream cheese/mascarpone flavouring (if that). I’m really obsessed.

Vegetarian food at temples

I really like visiting temples. I think they’re such beautiful places that offer a calm that you don’t seem to find in many other places in the city. They also often have vegetarian restaurants nearby and the food is super tasty and affordable. When we went to visit the Leshan Buddha with my parents, we went to a restaurant near the temple there and had a lovely meal overlooking the square. I’m just really into these vegetarian restaurants and love what they’re about.

Cake at the kindergarten

We always bake a cake with the little ones whenever its one of their birthdays at the kindergarten. There’s a great mini kitchen downstairs and they’re so precious in the tiny chefs hats and aprons. The cake itself isn’t the most delicious cake I’ve ever had because we don’t put any sugar in it, so it’s more like a bread with fruit on top, but it’s so much fun to share it with so many excited four year olds. It’s great for them to get to bake the cake and then eat it together. I love birthdays at the kindergarten.

Street food 路边小吃

The best part of living in China is the abundance of street food. There have been so many new things I’ve had the opportunity to try from vendors in the road. It also keeps our cost of living down because they’re never that expensive and can be quite filling! I love just picking up some noodles when I’m out and about, or grabbing some Guo Kui 锅魁 (deep fried meat pie) which tastes a little bit like a sausage roll with lots of Szechuan spices.

Liang Gao (Glutinous Rice Curd) 凉糕

Liang gao is a sweet summer dessert which roughly means 'cold cake' (although it's more like cold tofu thing). It's served with sweet molasses and has a texture like jelly pudding but is just mildly sweet without the sauce. I first had it at the noodle shop near our first apartment and it was a great accompaniment to our noodle feast that we had!

Variety of crisps

China has some really out there crisp flavours. I’m not sure if they’re just novelty or if people really like them but I guess they wouldn’t sell if people weren’t buying them! The most interesting flavours I’ve seen have been lychee sparkling drink flavour and yoghurt drink flavour. Some of the flavours like spicy crab and hotpot flavour are really good but I think I’ll be avoiding the yoghurt for a while longer!

Sugar people 糖人

Sugar people is a form of traditional Chinese folk art using hot liquid sugar to create beautiful shapes and animals. This isn’t really something that is particularly delicious to eat - just because it’s made purely of hardened sugar but it really is beautiful. The reason I love it so much is because I think it’s such an amazing art form and it’s handmade and blown in front of you. I really enjoyed this pig candy because I got to blow it up myself (which a lot of help from the vendor). It’s kind of like glass blowing but you get to eat the finished product (highly recommend not doing this with actual glass).

#china #szechuan #sichuan #chengdu #food

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lifedeathanddinner · 5 years ago

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A Pared-Down Passover Menu

Streamlined Seder Menu: Salmon with pomegranate gremolata, hasselback potatoes with garlic butter, and parley-pomegranate salad.

Has anyone quite figured out how a Zoom Seder is going to work? My sense is that we’re all winging it, and that’s absolutely fine. I’m scanning all the relevant pages of the Haggadah so that my virtual guests can be, literally, on the same page. It would be great if they all had their own matzo and charoset; parsley and horseradish, but if they don’t, then holding up mine for the camera will certainly suffice.

There will be three of us at my holiday table, so I’m working out how to scale down my matzo ball soup recipe — or maybe we’ll just forgo that course this year. In a stressful world, the order of the day is to make dinner as care-free as possible.

By happy chance, I created a Passover menu for the Forward last year that’s simple and scalable, easy to make for many or few. It incorporates a number of symbolic elements, which can serve to streamline the rest of the meal. The salad, for example, consists of parsley (the bitter herb), apple and walnuts (charoset), and pomegranate seeds, which are symbolic of spring. As always, if you have some ingredients but not others, don’t fret.

As I wrote in the Forward article that accompanied the following recipes, “As much as I love maintaining and passing down traditions, I also recognize the beauty of experiencing new things — in the kitchen as in life. A simple, streamlined holiday dinner seems like a good place to start.”

This year, it feels all but essential.

Parsley-Pomegranate Salad

½ cup walnuts, roughly chopped

2 bunches (about 8 ounces) curly parsley, leaves roughly chopped

1 apple, cut into thin 1-inch slices

½ cup pomegranate seeds

3 tablespoons walnut oil

3 tablespoons red wine vinegar

3 tablespoons heavy cream or half & half

¼ teaspoon salt or more to taste

Place walnuts in a hot dry pan over medium heat and cook 1–2 minutes, moving the pan to shake the nuts, until fragrant. Let cool slightly.

Place parsley, celery, apple, pomegranate seeds and walnuts in a bowl.

Make the dressing by whisking oil and vinegar together, then very slowly adding the cream. (If you add it all at once the dressing may curdle.) Add salt. Pour over salad and toss.

Salmon With Pomegranate Gremolata

A gremolata is a fresh hit of flavor and color that’s sprinkled over a dish just before serving. Most commonly a mixture of chopped parsley, minced garlic and lemon zest, this one incorporates flavors of Pesach and symbols of spring: horseradish subs in for the garlic and pomegranate seeds replace the zest. (After Passover, when horseradish root is hard to find, garlic will be great.)

½ cup pomegranate molasses

1 tablespoon olive oil or butter

8 six-ounce fillets of wild salmon or one whole 24-ounce fillet

½ teaspoon salt

Freshly ground black pepper

½ cup parsley (curly or flat-leaf), finely chopped

1 tablespoon grated horseradish

2 tablespoons pomegranate seeds

Preheat oven to 425 degrees F.

In a small pan, heat the pomegranate molasses and oil or butter for about a minute. Cool slightly.

Arrange salmon in a shallow roasting pan or rimmed baking sheet. Run a finger up and down the top and sides of each fillet, and if you feel any bones, use your fingers or a pair of tweezers to remove them by pulling straight out. Brush salmon with pomegranate mixture and sprinkle with salt and pepper. Roast 8–13 minutes, depending on thickness of fillets and whether you prefer salmon medium rare or opaque.

While the salmon is roasting, prepare the gremolata by combining parsley, grated horseradish and pomegranate seeds. If you don’t have fresh horseradish root, substitute finely minced garlic rather than using bottled horseradish.

Horseradish Cream Sauce

8 ounces créme fraîche

2 tablespoons freshly grated horseradish or 1 tablespoon prepared white horseradish

2 tablespoons finely chopped chives

Place ingredients in a bowl and stir to combine.

Hasselback Potatoes with Garlic Butter

Placing a chopstick on either side of the potato before making your slices will stop the knife from cutting all the way down to the cutting board.

1 stick butter

4 cloves garlic, minced

8 russet potatoes

½ teaspoon salt or more to taste

Preheat oven to 425˚ F.

Melt butter in a small pan and add garlic. Simmer over low heat for about 2 minutes, until garlic is fragrant and slightly soft but not golden.

Peel potatoes, and make a thin slice along what will be the bottom of each to create a flat surface. On a cutting board, place a potato flat-side down between two chopsticks arranged on either long side of the potato. Starting at one end, make slices about ⅛-inch apart, being sure not to cut all the way down to the cutting board so the potato stays in one piece. Place potato on a rimmed baking sheet lined with parchment paper. Repeat with the rest of the potatoes.

Brush potatoes with about a third of the melted butter mixture, using your fingers to gently separate slices a little so some of the butter can drip between them.

Roast 30 minutes, remove from oven and brush with another third of the butter. Roast about 20 minutes more, until potatoes are golden on the edges and cooked through. Brush with a little more butter before serving. Serve with horseradish cream and additional chives if desired.

These recipes first appeared in the Forward.

#passover #seder #dinner #holiday #salmon #potatoes #hasselbackpotatoes #salad #horseradish

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dietsauthority · 7 years ago

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Ditch The Takeout And Try These Delicious And Healthy Chinese Food Recipes

Chinese food, as the majority of us recognize it, is an oily, harmful takeout choice for those active evenings when we have actually finished job late as well as are famished as well as tired. A conventional Chinese diet plan is, on the contrary, an extremely beneficial, healthy and balanced and satisfying way of consuming, supplying a range of wellness benefits and also fascinating, delicious dishes.

Can Chinese Food Be Healthy?

A whole lot can be learnt from standard Chinese cooking, medicine and also way of livings. For a beginning, the Chinese didn't have a word for "calories" till they embraced one from the English language, and they definitely really did not count them. Rather, they checked out food as nutrition, not additional inches around the waistline. Some studies over the previous couple of years have actually ended that counting calories can give individuals an unhealthy partnership with food, which could result in binging or food constraint, and a detach with the nutritional worth of food. Other concerns with counting calories consist of the prospective error of food labels as well as the fact that not all calories are equal.

Chinese food can be exceptionally healthy and also satisfying, with lots of dishes as well as components that use a selection of health advantages, including ginger, garlic and also spices. There have been some compelling research studies suggesting Chinese diets could cure disorders and prolong life. Conventional Chinese diet plans were mainly vegan, and also included just 20% meat or fish. Food was steamed or gently pan-fried in something like peanut oil, which was much healthier compared to the meat and veggies that are battered, deep-fried or sank in sweet, salty sauces that you tend to obtain from Chinese quick food outlets.

Like the Ayurvedic medical system of India, typical Chinese medicine incorporates a general technique to healing, consisting of acupuncture, massage therapy, natural medicine, workout, and also, you guessed it, nutritional therapy via food. In the western health and wellness system, food is evaluated on its nutritional value, without taking the private person who is eating it right into account. In Chinese medicine, nevertheless, food is classified according to its energised impacts on the patient, instead compared to its components. That implies the exact same dish would have various worth relying on an individual's yin and yang power. This ideology permits people that follow its principals to be harmonic with what their bodies need.

What You Should Know Concerning Chinese Takeout

Like most takeout or fast food, Chinese contains oil, sugar, salt as well as, frequently, man-made preservatives. Regrettably, not also getting veggies from a Chinese convenience food electrical outlet will certainly guarantee you're preventing a few of these dangerous ingredients. Side veggies from Chinese takeout restaurants are often deep-fried for included taste and also appearance, or smothered in undesirable sauces. There are a couple of health issues keeping that, the main one being the reality that there are a variety of vegetables that absorb oil like a sponge (such as eggplants). That implies an eggplant side recipe that is deep-fried, as an example, would certainly have a big portion of oil in it, as well as probably not healthy oil.

Tip: If you are purchasing takeout, you should say, "Many thanks, but no many thanks," to shrimp crackers. Although they could appear healthier that crisps or crunchy noodles, all they are is a deep-fried mix of starch (undesirable carbohydrates), salt as well as flavoring. Even though one of the lessons from this article is not to count calories, it's worth noting that a tiny handful consists of even more than 200 calories and also 14 grams of fat, and also not the nutritious kind!

Is MSG Harmful?

There is still a lot of conflict surrounding monosodium glutamate (MSG), a flavor-enhancing food additive that has tormented the Chinese takeout globe for numerous years now. MSG is a white crystalline powder acquired from a non-essential amino acid, which the human body is able to create itself. It is made throughout a starch fermentation process and is utilized to improve the savory flavor of a meal. Throughout the years, MSG has been criticized for a number of health concerns, consisting of bronchial asthma, frustrations and also mental retardation. That, however, is contested by companies like the FDA, which wrapped up in its latest examination into the additive that it is safe to eat.

There is, however, something called Chinese dining establishment syndrome (MSG symptom complex), which could cause a reaction or set of signs and symptoms complying with the intake of Chinese food in some people. Signs and symptoms consist of upper body pain, headaches, flushing, tingling or burning around the mouth, facial pressure as well as sweating. MSG has been blamed for the condition, but it has actually not been verified to be the cause.

MSG has additionally been connected to obesity and also conditions related to metabolic disorder in a research study carried out by a team of international scientists. Researchers in the research study discovered that, although MSG has been regarded 'safe', there are elements, including its dose, communication with various other compounds, results on individuals with persistent inflammatory problems, impacts on at risk populaces and results on individuals with neurological conditions, that are still unknown.

Some Tips For Healthy Chinese Eating

Poach (Jum), broil (Chu), roast (Kow), barbecue (Shu), heavy steam or gently stir-fry in healthy oil when food preparation Chinese food, rather than deep frying or finishing in white flour, breadcrumbs or batter.

Use chopsticks, especially if you are eating Chinese takeout. This will reduce the quantity of oils as well as sauce you are eating with each mouthful. It additionally encourages slower consuming as well as smaller sized bites, which could decrease calorie consumption and also help to keep a healthy and balanced weight, along with provide you a chance to understand when you're full before it's as well late and you have actually overeaten!

If you are consuming Chinese takeout, avoid the starter. One propensity individuals usually have when consuming takeout is to binge or over-indulge. Main dish servings are generally huge, so you definitely don't need beginners on top of that. You could also go one action additionally and also share, state, 2 main courses between three people so that you quit consuming when completely satisfied, not when you're concerning to burst!

And our final, really obvious suggestion, is to make your personal homemade Chinese dishes instead of going with the takeout option! That could seem complicated, yet that's why we have actually added some amazing, very easy as well as creative healthy Chinese dishes below to obtain you started!

Healthy Chinese Food Recipes

Salmon Rice Dish - This vibrant dish of goodness is fresh, healthy and delicious. Not just does it look attractive when dished out, however it is complete of flavor and also healthy and balanced active ingredients. To earn this recipe that additional little bit special, utilize fresh, locally-sourced salmon, if possible. As well as if you can't, you might always replace the salmon for a regional fish that's very easy to locate where you live. The important things we enjoy about this recipe is just how quick as well as simple it is - all you need is one frying pan and a bowl!

Asian Pear Salad With Orange Ginger Dressing - As the name suggests, this salad is light, fresh as well as excellent for summer season! If you're a follower of wonderful, crunchy Asian pears, after that this is most definitely the recipe for you. This blog writer has picked the best mix of veggies to go along with the pears, with spicy orange and also ginger, crispy cabbage and the solid, earthy flavor of shallots, to match the wonderful fruit. This salad is so convenient because it fasts as well as very easy, without cooking needed. It's additionally excellent to see the writer offering a simple homemade clothing recipe, due to the fact that most of us know premade sauces as well as dressings are where the added calories originate from! This dish is a wonderful light lunch choice or side meal that would certainly match poultry or fish.

Chinese Poultry Kale Salad With Peanut Dressing - You will never call salad boring once more with this 2nd superb salad option! This set is a far better choice if you prefer to a tasty and also filling up salad for lunch or dinner. It is absolutely bursting with colors as well as tastes, and the author suggests seeing to it you slice whatever well to ensure that you get a couple of various tastes in each bite.

The Ultimate Vegan Chinese Noodle Soup - You're most likely made use of to the conventional poultry noodle soup, however this satisfying vegan different deals just the same authentic Chinese tastes without the meat! It has everything, including flavor, tang, structure, as well as a little spicy kick from the chili oil.

Spicy Vegan Chinese Eggplant - This recipe has lots of various preferences and also is a terrific home cooking. Certainly a far healthier option than spare ribs or sticky Chinese pork, this vegan choice has all the extreme tastes without the ingredients and also calories, as well as has a wonderful spicy kick to it. It also consists of a pretty useful suggestion for dealing with zesty components, particularly if you unintentionally get any in your eye!

Mongolian Beef With Brown Basmati Fried Rice - This quick, straightforward meal takes about as long to make as a Chinese takeout order will certainly take to show up at your door. As the writer admits, this recipe was substantiated of laziness, which is fantastic information for us, since it means it is fast as well as straightforward! It aided her ditch the takeout alternative and also satisfy her yearning for Mongolian beef with a healthier homemade variation. There are great deals of Mongolian beef recipes drifting around the web however this set appears to be among the much better, a lot more authentic variations, so enjoy!

Stir Fried Chicken With Pineapple And also Pepper - This intriguing blend of flavors is an innovative take on the standard sweet and also sour Chinese takeout alternative, and also much healthier! It is a wonderful fast dish that could be whipped up in regarding half-an-hour, making it a fantastic weekday alternative. The author also provides some valuable ideas regarding the devices and methods needed to make the supreme stir fry, which you could after that make use of with any mix fry dishes in the future!

Lettuce Wraps With 5 Flavor Flank Steak As well as Peanut Sauce - These juicy, savory flanks take just HALF AN HOUR to prepare, and also the lettuce is a great alternative to typical Chinese pancakes. We needed to include a dish that featured mouthwatering Chinese Five Spice, as well as this is the perfect one. If you are not familiar with Chinese Five Flavor, it includes cinnamon, cloves, fennel, star anise as well as pepper, all ground with each other. There's likewise one more wonderful peanut sauce recipe consisted of in this blog that you can re-use in other meals.

Easy Vegetable Lo Mein - This food blog owner used to operate in a Chinese takeout dining establishment and saw firsthand exactly just what enters into those scrumptious, and also often addictive, dishes. That's why she has shared this simple and also tasty low-sodium version of Lo Mein, without the excess fat as well as salt you would commonly get. It's a wonderful recipe since you are free to use whatever fresh veggies you occur to have in the house or whatever remains in season.

Hot And also Sour Soup - It takes just 15 mins to work up this flu-fighting tasty, tasty soup. It is low in both fat and also calories, as well as is inexpensive as well as really easy making. There are simply 8 ingredients that primarily have to be chucked right into a pot with each other - hen supply, vinegar, soy sauce, sesame oil, mushrooms, tofu, an egg and also scallions (springtime onions). As well as, regardless of being low-fat, it is warming up and satisfying!

Pu-Erh Delicious chocolate Brownies - We can not finish without providing you a delicious, indulgent treat dish. This isn't really technically a traditional Chinese dish, however it supplies a great as well as innovative use some healthy Chinese components, with an irresistible mix of chocolate and tea! Matcha, Earl Grey and also Chai are frequently made use of in cooking, however this blog owner intended to try Pu-Erh, as well as found that it was the excellent tea to utilize with delicious chocolate. This dish is damp, dense and also preferences definitely indulgent, however it is complete of nourishing active ingredients, consisting of cocoa, tea as well as spinach.

#cabbage diet #detox diet #diet #diet plans #diet recipes #dieting #health and wellness #metabolism diet #nutrition #nutritional value #vegan diet #wellness

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khloeskitchen-ffxiv · 6 years ago

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Khloe’s Kitchen: Recipe #3 - Valentione Lobster Platter

Happy Valentione’s Day, everyone! Normally we should say something about the meaning/significance of the holiday, but really the best part of it is the food! Lovely lunches, delicious dinners, salivation-inducing sweets. (Oh, and delightful day-after discounts on chocolate!) We promised a savory dish, after our first two recipes were delightfully sweet, so here we are: tantalizingly juicy lobster, a light, crisp pizza, and sides both savory and sweet!

Researching how to prepare lobster was quite an interesting experience. We read all about various discussions on humane (food) handling - in the end, if we’re okay visiting a restaurant and eating something like lobster, we’ll actually develop a better appreciation for the creature by preparing and cooking it ourselves. (What I’m really saying here is that it puts into context the hours spent spearfishing for lobsters in the Ruby Sea - fond memories of churning out onigara-yaki for raid dinners!)

The pizza was also quite fun to learn about and work on, although as it turns out, kneading dough could possibly replace your workout for the day (depending on your typical exercise routine). Because of all the stove and oven time required for the various parts of this meal, we selected a cold-prepared pizza sauce that’s simple to mix together in a bowl and top your pizza before sliding it into the oven - the sauce has some lovely seasonings and a little kick of heat to it as well.

As always, thank you for reading along and joining us on our culinary adventures! For us, this blog is all about learning some kitchen skills, having some fun, and sharing our experiences with you. (Because unfortunately there is no real life equivalent to levequest powerleveling - one of you should get to work on fixing that, by the way!) So much love to all of you, on this day of delightful delectables and every other day - and don’t forget to do the in-game Valentione’s Day event before it ends! <3

Happy adventuring,

Caly and Miga

Recipe details: - Overall difficulty: ★★★☆☆

- Makes approximately 3-4 ten-inch heart-shaped pizzas and 1 cooked lobster dish with (optional) sides [Extra pizza dough can be set aside and refrigerated or frozen]

- Dough prep time: 10-15 minutes (+4 hours for resting)

- Pizza bake time: 8-10 minutes

- Lobster prep time: 20 minutes

- Lobster cook time: 20-25 minutes

- Roasted broccoli prep time: 5-8 minutes

- Roasted broccoli bake time: 18-20 minutes

- Brown sugar glazed carrots prep time: 8-12 minutes

- Brown sugar glazed carrots cook time: 20-22 minutes

Pizza dough ingredients: - 1 ⅜ cups warm water (may need slightly more water if using all-purpose flour, depending on brand, etc.) - 1 teaspoon active dry yeast - 3 ½ cups all-purpose or type “00” flour - 1 teaspoon salt - 1 teaspoon sugar

Pizza sauce ingredients: - 1 can tomato paste (6 oz.) - ¾ cup warm water - 2 tablespoons grated Parmesan cheese - 2 teaspoons minced garlic - ½ teaspoon sugar - ¼ teaspoon black pepper - ½ teaspoon onion powder - ¼ teaspoon dried oregano - ½ teaspoon dried red pepper flakes - 3 leaves fresh basil, chopped (or approximately 1 tablespoon dried basil) - salt to taste

Recommended pizza toppings: - Mozzarella - Pepperoni - Fresh Basil

Lobster dish ingredients: - 1 approximately two pound lobster - Stock pot filled with enough water to cover lobster, generously salted - 2 wooden skewers - Seafood cracking tools (optional)

Roasted broccoli with Parmesan ingredients: - 1 head of broccoli - Salt, pepper, and olive oil - Shredded Parmesan cheese

Brown sugar glazed carrots ingredients: - 1 pound of carrots - Salt, pepper, and olive oil - 1 tablespoon butter - ⅛ cup brown sugar - 1 teaspoon cinnamon - ¼ teaspoon nutmeg - Chopped parsley for garnish

Pizza directions:

1. In a small bowl, combine warm water and dry yeast. Continue mixing until yeast is dissolved, around 4-5 minutes.

2. In a medium bowl, mix together flour, salt, and sugar. Make a small well in middle of the flour mixture and carefully add the yeast water. Next, begin incorporating the flour into the water.

3. Knead the dough for about 10 minutes, until dough is stretchy and smooth. It’s recommended to move the dough from the bowl to a floured surface for a much easier kneading process!

4. In the same medium bowl, lightly drizzle some olive oil and put the dough back. Roll the dough around in the olive oil and cover the bowl. Set aside to rest for 4 hours (or longer, if desired or convenient).

5. Prepare the pizza sauce: combine and mix tomato paste, water, Parmesan cheese, garlic, and all spices in a bowl. Depending on your preference, you can optionally add more garlic, cheese, or red pepper flakes - we did all of these (Yum!). Add any extra salt to taste. Refrigerate the sauce while the dough is still resting.

6. Once the dough is finished resting, place it on a floured baking sheet (or pizza sheet) and divide in half. Squish each half of dough with your hands (turning around on the other side and doing the same motion), until it slowly makes more of a circular shape.

7. Optional heart design: Carefully roll out dough to make a rough circular shape that’s approximately 10 inches in diameter and ¼ of an inch in thickness. Fold dough in half, and trace the shape of half a heart. Once design has been finalized and perfected, use a sharp knife to cut the shape out. Delicately unfold heart. Save any leftover scrap dough to make more pizzas later.

8. Preheat your oven to 400°F/200°C.

9. Press your fingers into the dough, approximately 1 inch away from the edge, to help form the crust of the pizza. Lightly dress the surface of the pizza with sauce, drizzle a little olive oil, add some salt on top, and lastly grate some fresh Parmesan cheese. Depending on your topping preferences, add whatever you like for the finishing touches! For the photos, we decided to go with fresh mozzarella and basil, as well as some dried pepperoni.

10. Bake for approximately 10 minutes - the crust should be lightly colored and the cheese melted.

Lobster directions:

1. Prepare the lobster for cooking by chilling in a freezer for 10-15 minutes.

2. Fill a large pot with enough water for boiling (enough water to cover the lobster) or for steaming. Heat on the stove to reach a heavy boil; add a generous amount of salt.

3. Preheat the oven to 350°F/180°C.

4. Once lobster is chilled, remove it from the freezer and lay it flat on its legs on a large cutting board or other flat surface. Using a sharp, heavy knife, line the point of the knife at the nearest crack in the shell behind the eyes (pointing downward, but along the length of the lobster). Cut firmly and rapidly through the head, driving the knife down to cleanly pass through. (**note** This step is done to quickly kill the lobster and minimize movement/thrashing during cooking. Alternatively, some prefer to simply place the lobster head-first into the boiling water. Thanks to Serious Eats for some great instructions on handling and cooking lobster!)

5. Hold the tail portion (the “half” of the lobster toward the rear) and the carapace (front “half”) firmly in each hand, making sure to keep your fingers away from the underside of the lobster. Twist and pull the tail away from the carapace, and set aside. (Tip: try using two wooden skewers, like in the picture above, to keep the tail straight and avoid curling during the cooking process!)

6. Hold the carapace firmly and twist the two claws off, one at a time. We should now have four pieces: carapace, tail, and two claws. Great work!

(**Note** If you’d like to save the carapace/head for making stock, they can be set aside here for immediate use or freezing.)

7. Steam or boil the lobster for 2 minutes. This helps release the meat from the shell, making for easy removal (and eating) later on!

8. Line a baking tray with foil, place the lobster pieces on the foil, and finish cooking by roasting the lobster for 15 minutes. The claws can be removed from the oven after 8-10 minutes. Cooking time may vary, depending on lobster size (ours was just under 2 pounds) - the goal is to reach an internal temperature of 135°F/57°C.

(**Note** If you’re serving/presenting the lobster in it shell/as-is, you’re good to go!)

9. Remove lobster from the oven and place on a clean surface for removing the meat. Hold the lobster tail and firmly press the sides of the shell towards each other. Make sure each segment of the shell is cracked - this will help split/peel the shell away from the tail meat. Now, pull the sides of the shell away from each other, being careful not to rip the meat. If necessary, a pair of kitchen scissors/shears can be used to cut along the membrane on the underside of the tail.

10. Break off the smaller pincer from each claw. Using a chopstick or similar utensil, you should be able to pull some meat from the pincer! With the remaining (bigger) part of the claw, firmly strike the flat side with the back of a knife, or use a seafood cracker to open the claws. Again, the kitchen scissors or shears can be useful here to cut open, being careful not to cut through the meat! Finally, twist off the knuckles, again using a chopstick or similar utensil to extract the meat.

11. The last part left is the carapace (with the head, legs, etc.). The legs have a little bit of meat in them too, so you can extract them in a similar way to the claws and knuckles (you may also be able to open the legs at one end and squeeze the meat out from the other end, almost like a tube of toothpaste). If you’re feeling adventurous you can eat the goodies in the body/head as well! We left that part in the oven for an extra five minutes just to be sure - there may be some of the delicious tail meat still attached!

Roasted broccoli with Parmesan directions:

(**Note** Both sides can be cooked in the oven simultaneously, so if you’re making the broccoli and the carrots, prepare both while the oven preheats!)

1. Prepare the roasted broccoli side: Preheat the oven to 375°F/190°C. Cut the broccoli head into small florets, discarding the stem. Place the pieces on a baking sheet, and then sprinkle with salt, pepper, and olive oil. Toss to coat evenly. Roast for about 16 minutes. After, remove sheet from the oven and grate some fresh Parmesan on top of the broccoli, let roast for another 2-4 minutes. Serve immediately when cheese is nice and melted, either in a separate bowl or around the lobster for a nice presentation.

Brown sugar glazed carrots directions:

1. Prepare the glazed carrots side: Using the same temperature as the broccoli for roasting, cut across the width of the carrot to create circular shapes, approximately ¼ of an inch thick. Place evenly on another baking sheet, drizzle with olive oil, salt, and pepper, toss to combine. Bake for approximately 16-20 minutes, until carrots are just tender. In a small saucepan over medium heat, combine butter, brown sugar, cinnamon, and nutmeg. Stir constantly until sugar is melted and bubbling (be careful not to burn!), simmering for about 3-4 minutes. Reduce heat and add in the carrot slices, then cook for another 3-4 minutes. Serve in a separate bowl and top with chopped parsley if desired.

Serve everything together for a delicious dinner - enjoy!

#ffxiv #final fantasy #Final Fantasy XIV #valentine's day #khloe's kitchen

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healthbolt-blog · 6 years ago

Text

New Post has been published on Health bolt

New Post has been published on https://www.healthbolt.net/cooking/healthy-way-to-cook-bacon-and-eggs/

Healthy Way To Cook Bacon And Eggs

Contents

Pan-roast pork chops

Fried pork chops

Health education; nutritional counseling

24 recipes offer delicious

Local takeout spot

4 minutes undisturbed (

Healthy Alternatives. You do have options if you want to eat bacon and eggs on a regular basis. Eliminate the yolk, which is the part of the egg that is rich in dietary cholesterol — and, unfortunately, also high in vitamin A and dietary iron. Choose reduced-sodium turkey bacon, which is lower in saturated fat and sodium than regular bacon.

How To Cook Healthy Pork Chops In The Oven If I were to pan-roast pork chops in the traditional way, I’d first brown them in a skillet on the stove, then transfer the skillet to the oven to finish cooking. They would be juicy and delicious…b… Healthy Oven Baked Pork Chops Recipes 2,061 Recipes. Would you like any fruit in the recipe? Fruit Without Fruit No Preference. Skip. … Healthy gluten free oven fried pork chops Food Done Light. 80. paprika, garlic powder, egg, bone-in pork chops, onion powder and 4 more . BROWSE. The Best Healthy Baked Pork Chops Recipes on Yummly | basil-garlic porterhouse pork chops, Sizzling Chili Pork Chops, Crispy Baked Breaded Pork Chops … Healthy Gluten Free Oven Fried Pork Chops Food Done Light. 80. ground pepper, egg, bone-in pork … The only time I would ever eat pork chops when I was little was when my Aunt B … She taught me about searing meat at a high heat so it crusts, then finishing the cooking at a low temperature in the … Want to join in? Watch below for a sneak peek of the episode—and then make Yearwood’s Stuffed Pork Chops along with them when the episode airs on Nov. 23, at 10:30 a.m. on the Food Network. 1. Preheat … Healthy Tasty Ways To Cook Chicken Breast Is Steam Cooking Healthy "In this season of giving, Red Robin is making our communities better by giving back to children who need help getting health… I Want To Learn How To Cook Healthy “My perspective on working out has changed from wanting to fit into a certain dress size and hit certain measurements, to wor… Cook ¾ cup of the desired grain according to the package directions, then fold in one of these easy combinations. (Each recipe serves 4.) Raisins, Almonds, and Scallions Fold in ¼ cup raisins, ½ cup chopped roasted almonds , and 2 chopped scallions . The treat factor has disappeared and that does nothing to encourage our kids to adopt healthy habits. Want to learn about health and goal planning, as well as meal preparation, vegan and vegetarian re… How Anyone (Yes, Even You) Can Learn to Cook. … it was to want to make a lifestyle change, but lack the know-how to do so. Eventually, through years of trial and error, I figured out how to … healthy cooking classes Dallas Tx The help includes clinical and recreational services; diabetes and health education; nutritional counseling and cooking classes; an annual walk … the ER,” said Joel Allison, CEO of Dallas-based Bayl… How To Cook shrimp healthy similarly, Dr. Pidich’s cards say that she can’t eat clams, shrimp and lobster … you steer you clear of anything you’re all… Though sometimes a simple shrimp cocktail is all you’re looking for, these 24 recipes offer delicious and healthy ways to cook up shrimp for lunch, dinner, or as a healthy snack. Best Way To Cook Asparagus Healthy These templates can also be a great way to build some healthy meals …

The IPO is inviting noodle heads to share their favorite pasta recipes on Facebook or Instagram—just use the tag #WorldPastaDay. This Bacon and Egg Spaghetti is an easy way to start World Pasta Day—or …

Can be used to eat bacon and eggs, too … only $7 for a pack of five, these metal chopsticks are a decidedly better deal than hoarding the bamboo ones from your local takeout spot, even if you never …

Is there any way for bacon to be part of a healthy diet? … (not to mention the cholesterol from the eggs that often accompany bacon. … Pour in the broth and continue to cook the spinach …

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At Kichin, snacks like bacon, egg and cheese rice balls with kimchi-mayonnaise make perfect sense when you consider the … design), BB Cha approaches Taiwanese-style bubble teas the same way mixologi…

All that being said, eating eggs is generally super healthy no matter which way you cook them. So you may just want to cook and eat them in the way you enjoy the most and not obsess over the small …

This is a post from NF Team Member Staci. Ahh, bacon and eggs – one of the most standard and easy breakfasts. Plus, it’s Paleo!. Whether you’re trying to lose weight or put on muscle, bacon and eggs is an awesome (and delicious) option.. Before I learned to cook, I …

There’s a right and wrong way to cook bacon in the microwave. To do it correctly, place 3 to 4 slices on a microwave-safe plate lined with a paper towel (be careful not to crowd the plate).

Although they’re tasty any time of the year, deviled eggs are synonymous with the Easter holiday. This treasure from the Patch archives offers several twists on the traditional deviled egg recipe to s…

Not only does she have an amazing number of completely fabulous recipes on the blog, she found a way to make a full bacon and egg breakfast in one awesome-looking muffin. Bacon and Egg Muffins look pr…

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Want to learn about health and goal planning, as well as meal preparation, vegan and vegetarian re… How Anyone (Yes, Even You) Can Learn to Cook. … it was to want to make a lifestyle change, but lack the know-how to do so. Eventually, through years of trial and error, I figured out how to … healthy cooking classes dallas Tx The help includes clinical and recreational services; diabetes and health education; nutritional counseling and cooking classes; an annual walk … the ER,” said Joel Allison, CEO of Dallas-based Bayl… How To Cook Shrimp Healthy Similarly, Dr. Pidich’s cards say that she can’t eat clams, shrimp and lobster … you steer you clear of anything you’re all… Though sometimes a simple shrimp cocktail is all you’re looking for, these 24 recipes offer delicious and healthy ways to cook up shrimp for lunch, dinner, or as a healthy snack. Best Way To Cook Asparagus Healthy These templates can also be a great way to build some healthy meals … and it’s best if you wind up with a little browning. … Healthy Ways To Cook Shrimp How To Cook Healthy Salmon In A Pan Make sure the fillets are dry: Before adding the salmon fillets to the pan, use a paper towel or a clean dish towel to pat each one dry. When the fillets are moist or wet, … I really like to use chicken thighs for these dinners and salmon is always good, too. I took a favorite meatloaf recipe and j… Pan-searing salmon is the quickest way to prepare salmon – short of microwaving it. Cooking salmon on the stove in a frying pan is one of the easiest ways to prepare a quick, healthy, delicious meal. resist the temptation to add the salmon before the pan preheats! Using long-handled tongs, carefully add the salmon fillets skin-side down to the pan. Cook the salmon for 4 minutes undisturbed (again, resist the temptation to move the fillets around in the pan or flip them after only a moment or two). This is the fastest and easiest way to cook salmon ever. Get the recipe from Delish. Healthy Thai Cooking We’re all healthy and strong. Healthy Tasty Ways To Cook Chicken Breast Is Steam Cooking Healthy "In this season of giving, Red Robin is making our communities better by giving back to children who need help getting health… I Want To Learn How To Cook Healthy “My perspective on working out has changed from wanting to fit into a certain dress size and hit certain measurements, to wor… Cook ¾ cup of the desired grain according to the package directions, then fold in one of these easy combinations. (Each recipe serves 4.) Raisins, Almonds, and Scallions Fold in ¼ cup raisins, ½ cup chopped roasted almonds , and 2 chopped scallions . The treat factor has disappeared and that does nothing to encourage our kids to adopt healthy habits. Want to learn about health and goal planning, as well as meal preparation, vegan and vegetarian re… How Anyone (Yes, Even You) Can Learn to Cook. … it was to want to make a lifestyle change, but lack the know-how to do so. Eventually, through years of trial and error, I figured out how to … healthy cooking classes Dallas Tx The help includes clinical and recreational services; diabetes and health education; nutritional counseling and cooking classes; an annual walk … the ER,” said Joel Allison, CEO of Dallas-based Bayl… How To Cook shrimp healthy similarly, Dr. Pidich’s cards say that she can’t eat clams, shrimp and lobster … you steer you clear of anything you’re all… Though sometimes a simple shrimp cocktail is all you’re looking for, these 24 recipes offer delicious and healthy ways to cook up shrimp for lunch, dinner, or as a healthy snack. Best Way To Cook Asparagus Healthy These templates can also be a great way to build some healthy meals … and it’s best if you wind up with a little browning. … Healthy Ways To Cook Shrimp How To Cook Healthy Salmon In A Pan Make sure the fillets are dry: Before adding the salmon fillets to the pan, use a paper towel or a clean dish towel to pat each one dry. When the fillets are moist or wet, … I really like to use chicken thighs for these dinners and salmon is always good, too. I took a favorite meatloaf recipe and j… Pan-searing salmon is the quickest way to prepare salmon – short of microwaving it. Cooking salmon on the stove in a frying pan is one of the easiest ways to prepare a quick, healthy, delicious meal. resist the temptation to add the salmon before the pan preheats! Using long-handled tongs, carefully add the salmon fillets skin-side down to the pan. Cook the salmon for 4 minutes undisturbed (again, resist the temptation to move the fillets around in the pan or flip them after only a moment or two). This is the fastest and easiest way to cook salmon ever. Get the recipe from Delish. Healthy Thai Cooking We’re all healthy and strong. There’s so much food we want to eat when we get out. We want to go straight home.

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mohnday · 8 years ago

Text

tagged by: @balsamina

headcanons to consider

can they use chopsticks? HAHA

No. He tries really hard but ultimately after many stubborn attempts and after many demonstrations he will /not get it/. This man can build and engineer machines and equipment meant to tear open the fabric of reality-but something about keeping chopsticks poised perfectly in his hands and gripping food at the same time can’t be done. Hand him a fork please--

what do they do when they can’t sleep:

That’s basically his day to day life: not sleeping. Mind you he becomes completely focused on a project that he gets caught in his own work. Mohn will start a project or a complex equation exclaiming he’s “close to a breakthrough” when he could very well just have set the paper down and pour himself into his work. Ultimately someone has to remind him to sleep-and that’s when he’ll realize just how tired he is.

In bed he sleeps like a rock and prone to snuggling up to his wife <3 or being the complete opposite and stealing the blankets and rolling over to the far side.

what would they impulse buy at the grocery store: Not usually the one responsible for shopping for the whole family because he’s rather hopeless (frozen chicken or not? 70% or 80% beef? organic or not organic? GAAah-let’s just get some frozen dinners and Kid Cuisine for the kids-- ) but he often will buy silly fake news magazines (what’s this? A strange unknown Pokemon called MissingNo can corrupt the very fabric of the universe??), often expressing though while funny to laugh it, it gets him exploring. Other than that he’ll get the kids their favorite snacks or some fresh cut flowers for his wife. what order do they wash things in the shower: Prefers to suds over before getting to the untamable mat of hair; shampoo first, conditioner second, rinse off whatever soap is left before washing out the conditioner. Most likely Mohn has used whatever shampoo he could get his hands on first without a care (sorry Lusamine, your expensive hair products are victim to it) and a notorious shower singer. what’s their coffee order: Flavored hazelnut syrup first (exactly three pumps), half n’ half creme and finally a light roast blend.

what sort of apps would they have on their smartphone:

The usual ofcourse including a full to the brim Calendar App, a Map App crowded with many pre-saved locations of UB and Wormhole hotspots, a good bunch of apps connecting to the science community to get hints or report findings and research. And when he’s not pouring over some research....he’s playing Angry Pidgeys (”Mohn, how much does it cost for you to keep that app??”

“But honey, I needed to get to the next level and those damn Tepigs won’t pop unless I add more lives and powerups!”).

how do they act around children: He. Loves. His. Kids.

Adores them.

Legit not the same person without them.

There’s not a day he won’t smother them in some sort of affection. Often times he might even be over-bearing, but it’s just his way of expressing how proud he is. All in good, healthy amounts though. If there is some critique needed to be taken account for he’ll be sure to give them guidance without giving them the whole answer so they can grow up for themselves. “I chose my path around your age you know! Don’t be afraid to choose somethin’ different than the norm. I know I got my fair amount of ridicule when I decided to pursue science, and look where I’m at now! I’m changing the world for Pokemon and human kind alike and I know you’ve both got somethin’ for the world to see!”

Not to mention he’s Loose Canon Dad and when the wife is away the kids get to play. If they wanted to eat malasadas all day in their pajamas they’d get away with it (sorry Lusamine that you’re made the Bad Guy in the family gdfgbfd).

what would they watch on tv when they’re bored and nothing they really like is on: ...Most likely the person to look at Netflix for hours without actually watching anything.

tagging: who hasn’t done this yet I wonder--

#meme:|| A-OK fun!#headcanon:|| take note its important #|| blE SS ||

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watermarginhk-blog · 8 years ago

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Thriving in The Orient

FICTION

Ever since their fall from grace into middle class, Mum’s temper had quickened and the tallies marking her lips had grown to outnumber the ones around her eyes. Wilhelmina had suggested some creams, but Mum was in denial.

“Ladies and Gentleman, welcome to Hong Kong,” says a man with a funny accent. “It is a safety requirement that you remain seated yada yada yada. Yada yada yada, on behalf of Captain Darryl and my team, thank you for flying Cathay Pacific and enjoy your stay in Hong Kong. Goodbye!”

Wilhelmina, or Willa as her friends back in Grimsby call her, has butterflies. As in she has literally hidden a jar of dead butterflies, cleverly wrapped in a scarf, in her bag. What if they stop her at customs?

She’ll probably breeze through. They eat turtles and frogs here for crying out loud.

Plus, she is wearing her rose quartz choker. Willa chants a long ooommmmm in her head and shivers as it reverberates through every chakra of her body. She smiles and bows to the flight attendant, who smiles back at her wearily. It had been a long flight.

* * *

Two months into her new position teaching English at a Youth College for disadvantaged youths in the New Territories and Willa is ready to hop on a plane to Bali. Or Laos. Or Vietnam. She has been dreaming of Angkor Wat since her best mate back home Constance Jane returned from her Asia trip eyes wide skin red and peeling like an apple under hot water. She’d told Willa about a tiger-breeding monk who had taken her under his wing for a day and opened her third eye during a short ceremony she couldn’t clearly recall.

The week after, Willa’s ex-boyfriend Colin, who graduated the year before with a 2:2 in English Literature, same as Willa, got back from his teaching job slash gap year in Hong Kong.

When he asked her out for coffee, she knew it was an omen. A symbol from the Creator that she should explore her options in Asia. Career-wise. The guys there were a bit on the short side for her liking, but her good friend Laura had written in her weekly newsletter that her Chinese boyfriend worshipped her like some kind of goddess, and especially loved her hair, which was blonde. She’d made a pact with herself after she and Colin’s mutual break up over Skype, anyway.

Willa thinks about asking Margaux, one of the other female NET teachers, about travelling together at the next Bank Holiday weekend. Margaux is French and has Rosemary’s Baby hair. At lunchtime, Willa goes downstairs to ask the quiet receptionist girl, whose name is either Vicky, Kathy or Fanny, where Margaux’s classroom is.

“Upstairs the second floor, Room 15,” says Vicky or Kathy or Fanny. “Thanks,” says Willa, and dutifully inclines her head.

“Margieee hiyaaaa!!! Want to grab a dim sum after work?” she asks, swinging from the doorway, a bit like Pocahontas from a tree.

Margaux whirls around. She’s wearing fluorescent orange eyeshadow today.

“Mais yes, sounds délicieux—but s’il vous plait never call me with that name again uh?” she rasps with a sophisticated wrinkle of the nose.

Willa’s cheeks itch and Margaux turns back to her monitor.

She was only trying to be friendly.

“Brilliant!!! Meet you there at six, Margaux!!!” she warbles and turning to leave, almost trips over a small child. Quiet as ghosts, these children. Like their parents are training them up as ninjas or something. Even more disturbing is when there’s thirty of them staring vacantly at the whiteboard after being asked a seemingly obvious question, like how to conjugate a verb to match plural nouns.

She is dreading next class. Maybe, if she’s lucky, the ring leader will have caught that nasty stomach bug that’s been going around. Maybe the back row girl gang won’t threaten her life today.

She had taken this job at the Youth College, despite it being farther out, because four days into her initial job at St. Margaret Teresa Catherine’s Royal Kindergarten, she'd realised she hated young children, actually, because they were annoying little cunts who snotted everywhere and never listened no matter how many times she shouted for them to sit down.

The older the better, she had mistakenly thought, but it seems Asian kids only have two settings. Dead loud or dead silent.

As soon as her last student fucks off out the door, Willa packs her bag, checks her lipstick and virtually flees the school. Today is one of those days she questions her very impulsive decision to move thousands of miles away from the comforts of home to a foreign country where barely anyone knows any English. Did these people learn nothing from the Brits?

* * *

There’s no queue outside Dim Sum Palace, which is not its real name, but it sounds good on her blog and the name stuck. It’s usually quiet at this time, which is confusing, because don’t Chinese people eat dinner too? She approaches the pinch-faced hostess and holds up two fingers. Leng gow, she mouths, meaning two people in Chinese. The hostess looks bemused and smiles at her as a mama bear would smile at a sweet little rabbit in the woods.

Twenty-two minutes late, Margaux shows up with Nina. And Marty. Of course.

Margaux undulates into one of the chairs at the next table, Nina and Marty either side of her. Seeing the p-d off look on Willa’s face, Margaux grins.

“Willa cherie don’t look so angry uh? The more the merrier non?”

She crooks her finger and Willa comes to sit.

They order the usual ha gow (shrimp dumplings), sew moy (pork dumplings), cha sow bow (roast pork buns), low pak gow (fried turnip cake). Marty insists on steamed chickens feet because he wants to “expand his horizons.”

“Your wife not doing it for you lately?” Willa asks.

“Well as you know Willa my wife just gave birth hey and look I hope this won’t put off your appetite guys but as you know guys I don’t do well with all this lady stuff right and when I come back in the room after her you know Scisserion right you know where they snip the belly open right because what with me being a Westerner and all the baby would’ve got stuck or something so they handed me the baby and I said guys I said no right I mean come on that thing came out of my wife’s……like it was covered in blood and piss and shit before they wiped it I mean what were they expecting me to do here right?”

Nina frowns at her tea.

“But Marty you are le papa de bébé non? Why don’t you want to ‘old ‘er?” Margaux asks.

Before he can spring to self-defend, steaming baskets of pungent dim sum appear on the lazy susan. Everyone deploys their chopsticks as best they can and the wait staff try not to laugh.

* * *

An hour later, Willa is home and scanning the fridge. She’s still hungry from dinner because actually, she finds Chinese food abhorrently bad, and Marty’s story about his wife’s placenta or whatever really did put her off her appetite. But she wants point 28 on her “Things You Should Know About China Before You Move” list to sound authentic. Readers can intuit lies, so she always does the things she writes about so she can’t be called out.

She settles on the Quinoa Egg and Baby Spinach Protein Boost Pot she bought from M&S last week. Definitely worth the $30 it cost for the thirty minute cab ride home.

“Willababes is that you? Could you grab a beer for me while you’re at it please?” shouts Colin from the living room.

Willa reaches for the last Kronenbourg. Behind it is a small velvet box. The kind they keep rings in. She drops the can and it explodes across the kitchen.

“Nevermind that, love. We’ll get the cleaner to mop it up tomorrow,” says Colin from behind her.

He’s down on one knee.

Willa squeals and throws herself onto him, knocking him over onto the wet floor. They lie kissing in the beer puddle until the doorbell chimes off-key Für Elise.

“Don’t you want to get that, babes?” asks Colin, nuzzling the bindi on her forehead.

Willa can hear giggling behind the door. She gets up to answer it, thankful that the Chinese prefer tiles to carpet.

“CONGRATULATIONS MRS COLLINSON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

Constance Jane, Mum, Laura, Margaux, Nina and Marty are grinning ear to ear, waving streamers and blowing party horns.

Willa pulls out her phone and snaps a picture for her blog.

#FICTION

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