#they only come to me in visions
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Taking my brain out and beating it up bc it won’t think of anything creative to make
#I wanna dRAW!!! think of things brain#they only come to me in visions#at 4 am#when I should be asleep#crimsonkenjii rambles
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little comic for disability pride month! HoH rouge is a headcanon i've had for a while but I never do anything with it... tragic... well now I've changed that :)
#sth#sonic the hedgehog#rouge the bat#amy rose#fanart#comics#id in alt text#umm my only reference for daily living with hearing loss is my grandpa#i wasn't able to find the sort of testimonials I would've liked to see online..#so if this is actually wildly inaccurate feel free to let me know </3#my vision is her hearing loss comes from repeated exposure to gunfire without proper hearing protection#hazard of working with GUN while having bat hearing </3#anyway yay done! that was fast! with the magic of Copy/Pasting Panels ^_^#had to save this as 26 separate files... for layering reasons...
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comic about v2 and the goal they'll never fully reach alongside a dissatisfying conclusion. intimate rivalry and all (alternative ending comic. V1 dies instead of V2 during 4-4. V2 is narrating. V1 is dead.)
#high of victory drops to an overwhelming crushing feeling of what comes next now that youre done#if it wasnt clear v2 is trying very hard to put v1 back together after it kills them. very very poorly. weight of your actions hits#v2#v1#ultrakill#v4v#heavy implied at the very least. see as you will#i realize now that the writing is very disconnected and so are the drawings but bear with me here. do you see my vision#theres something going on between these two that is beautiful but also extremely codependent#at least on v2s end#tried to do those two descriptive pages in a way where it went like. 2 - 3 small details about v1. and then something very specific. some-#-thing theyd only know if they paid close attention to how the other acted or looked#took me a few days to put together and im pretty happy with it i think#feel free to dub or do whatever as long as you gimme credit where credits due#there are many ways to interpret v2 and this is one of them#gen art
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EDYN TIDESTRIDER, CHALLENGER OF THE UNDERSEA, RIVAL OF THE DEEP. WHAT WOULD YOU DO IF YOUR BROTHER WAS CHOSEN TO BE A WEAPON OF THE GODS? HOW WILL YOU UNDO WHAT THEY HAVE DONE TO HIM?
#jrwi fanart#jrwi show#jrwi riptide#edyn tidestrider#cw blood#EDYYYNNNN TTIDESTRIDERRR OHH HOW I LOVE HERRRR#THIS IS A PAGE FULLA REEAALLY OLD DOODLES AND REALLY REALLY OLD DOODELS AND NEW DOODLES. ENJOY.#ONLY CLEANED IT UP A BUNCH TTODAY AND IM ACTUALLY SO SO HAPPY W IT WEEEEE#WHAT WAS IT LIKE? DOWN IN THE UNDERSEA. TO VISIT YOUR BROTHER WHENEVER THE ADULTS WOULD LET YOU#A KID WHO DIDNT UNDERSTAND WHAT WAS GOING ON OR WHY HER BROTHER WAS BEING TAKEN AWAY OR WHY HE KEEPS GETTING HURT#OR WHY THE ADULTS JUST KEEP LETTING IT HAPPEN. ITS FOR THE BEST? FATE OF THE WORLD AND ALL THAT? HEY WHO THE FUCK IS IN CHARGE HERE#HOW DO WE STOP IT. HOW DO I STOP IT. THERES PEOPLE OUT THERE WORKING ON SOMETHING. ARITIFICIAL LEVIATHAN YOU SAY?#WE COULD BUILD A THING TO RIVAL THE GODS. WELL. SIGN ME UP. IM GOING TO UNDO WHAT THEY DID TO YOU#WHAT A FASCINATING THING SHE ACTUALLY SAID. 'IM GOING TO UNDO WHAT THEY DID TO YOU' HELLO?? EDYN? WHAT DOES THAT MEAN#WHAT EXACTLY DID THEY DO TO HIM. OTHER THAN THE PROPHECY TRAINING. YOU CAN UNDO THAT? YOU CAN UNDO ALL THAT? HOW?? HELLO???#LIKE SURE I JUST SPOUTED MY THEORIES I THINK SHE WANTS TO KILL GOD BUT THATS JUSTA THEORY... A GA#WHAT IS EDYNS GOAL AND WHY CANT SHE TELL ANYONE OOUUUHHH EDYNNNN CMERE EDYNN CMERRE STOP WALKING AWAY CMERE. COME HERE.#fuuuuuck shes so mysteriousss what is she HIDING!!shes also so so so so angry i fucken know she is. shes so gentle and so sweet and timid#but she is ANGRY and shes SMART and clearly shes AMBITIOUS bc shes TALKING TO THE FUCKING BIG HEAD HONCHO O THE FUCKEN NNAAAVYYYYY#ALSO WHO IS NICHOLAS. IF THATS EVEN HIS REAL NAME. WHO DID YYYOU MEET EDYN. DO YOU HAVE A WISH TO BE GRANTED EDYN???#CHEWING ON THE BARS O MY CELL I NNNNEEEEED TO KNOW MORE ABOUT EDYN IM SO CURIOUS IMG ONNA KILL PEOPLE#i said once in another post 'the oath an eldest sister takes on is on par w that of a paladins-#-and sometimes upheld w the very same ferocity'. I REALLY LIKED THAT LINE.#pleeese... if u can hear me.. pls join me and draw edyn w unbridled plasmatic rage abt the way her brother was treated by the Elders#also pls draw her SCARY. I NEED HER TO BE SSCARY. PLEEASEE I NEED HER TO BE JUST AS VIOLENT AS GILLION BUT INA ICE COLD WAY#JUST AS VIOLENT JUST AS STRONG JUST AS MUCH OF AN AQUATIC MONSTER. im sure u see the vision.#ok i gotta go t bed now i got work in tha morning n i should nnot be stayin up this late. if u hav thoughts abt edyn pls scream abt em#okay byyyyeee goodniiigihhttttt
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rewatched madoka magica again today bc i fucking hate myself and to absolutely no one’s surprise i went through all five stages of grief in a single evening
#let’s talk about sayaka miki for a second#genuinely the fact that her whole character is centered around tragedy almost to a shakespearean extent#she’s selfless and brave and values her justice and righteousness above all. calls herself an ally of justice#in fact i think it’s rather intriguing how her whole character is centered around “justice”#her story being a more twisted retelling of the original little mermaid#how she is initially portrayed as a very heroic and confident character even before becoming a magical girl. always shielding madoka#selling her soul to heal the boy she loved out of a selfless desire to see him well again#her being absolutely distraught abt being robbed of her humanity and betrayed by kyubey#she combats this harrowing realization by immersing herself in her duties not caring that she is slowly deteriorating in the process#becoming numb with pain and fighting recklessly and psychotically trying to drown out the pain#finally coming to the sickening conclusion that humanity doesn’t deserve her saving and she succumbs to a fate of her making#last words being “i was so stupid” which trumps her previous statement of “there’s no way i’d regret this”#ALSO? the fact that her costume and weapon are symbolic of a knight. she rly portrays this hero of justice who will protect and defend ☹️#i think abt the fact that homura said that sayaka’s wish was so selfless it was only a matter of time before she died#sayaka being the example of what happens to magical girls who go through the entire cycle and eventually become witches is so sad to me#genuinely just like. sick and twisted#very very fucked up.#characters who have their own misconstrued interpretation of “justice” or who are centered around justice in general.#you will always be dear to me.#sayaka reminds me a lot of akechi in some ways ngl#harboring an almost idealized vision of justice but it slowly rots and festers and corrupts their hearts the more immersed w it they become#actually losing their sanity when they fight bc of how much pain they’re in but refuse to acknowledge it until they break#refusing any help and wallowing in misery despite having ppl who love them and want to save them#last words are those expressing regret for being such a fool. for being ignoring#being used by yhe main villain as a stepping stone towards their true goal. they were merely a pawn#also doomed in every version of their reality. always doomed by the narrative no matter what choices they make#i have a type i fear#HAHAHAH ALSO the fact that they’re both dressed so regally compared to everyone else in their respective series#meant to portray them in a virtuous and princely light. only made more apparent by the sword being their weapon of choice#i’m gonna shut up now but they’re soo eerily similar its unnerving tbh 💀
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A bit late, but I hope that those who celebrate Halloween had a good time! Have some goofy goobers
(I sure had fun, it's the first time I hadn't celebrated that one alone in...many years, I don't think I want to count LOL) It's been over a decade since I carved any pumpkins too, so that was fun to do again! Ofc I had to attempt a Creature hehe
#(it was well past midnight when I finished this and I figured it'd be wiser to just post it the next day if it's late anyway pff)#also HI I haven't posted any art in months oops. Still alive still drawing - I'll get to picking away at some backlog soon perhaps#Peaches is the only one here who isn't technically False Ravens critter but I had to put her in here. The animal...#OC:Peaches#maulerfiend#daemon engine#OC:Krall#OC:KoVraan#(and the corrupted Leviathan doesn't have a name yet but that will come to me when I'm haunted by the right visions LOL)#Wh40k#Halloween 2024#Jet art#chaos space marines#homebrew warband#False Ravens
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I could write an essay on Doctor Odyssey and how the fantastical aspect of the ship isn't due to it being the purgatory or a dream but rather linked to the metatextual plot of the show and how the Odyssey is meant to be an in-universe representation of what the show aims to be in our reality, a direct answer to the effects of the COVID pandemic on our world that aims to create an atmosphere of escapism in a medical environment to create hope and happiness while still acknowledging current events. The weekly themes, along with the very goal of the show, are the strongest indicator of a meta narrative, very clearly designed with the show's weekly nature in mind. They wouldn't work as well in a show designed for streaming. Captain Massey himself says the ship is carefully built to show itself as a heaven to its guests, explaining the unrealistic scenarios and vibe of the show, but by focusing on the emergencies that happen on board the show allows the viewers to explore the cracks in that illusion and creates a place in which both serious themes and mindless fun can be equally approached. We see that contrast in 1x06 when the screen cuts from a threesome straight to the suicidal hotline screen; the episode successfully indulges in the hedonism of the cruise ship established early on without detriment to its more serious storyline, which includes one of the best portrayals of panic attacks I've ever seen on tv. Although both concepts are more clearly separated throughout the episode, the cut-off from one to another at the end is jarring, reminding the viewer of how both concepts coexist both in the Odyssey and in real life. As silly as it might be at times, the show isn't mindless, but rather a well-executed reminder that there is light at the end of every tunnel, and that maybe that light comes in the form of a Ryan Murphy network tv show about a throuple solving medical emergencies on a cruise ship.
#not to give too much credit to a ryan murphy the show but giving too much credit to a ryan murphy show#I love you hedonistic cruise ship show with emergencies connected to real world themes that acknowledges itself as being an answer to covid#anyways I wrote this to procrastinate writing what I actually need to so this means zero proof read sorry#probably only like 20% of this makes sense but do you see my vision.#this is also me coming out as a purgatory/coma dream theory hater. tired tropes are way less fun than a metatextual show. I love irony.#doctor odyssey
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wanderer
(referenced from that one shot in the 3.3 interlude quest)
#genshin impact#wanderer#scaramouche#my posts#ser draws stuff#anyway this is way too late but!!! may all wanderer wanters be wanderer havers!!!#I originally wanted to finish this before I pulled for him with my friend last Fri but I didn't manage to rush it in the end 😓#good news is!!! I won the 50/50 so I still have funds for hutao if she comes out next patch in the chronicled wish banner#okay I swear though this guy is so convenient for exploration#I put him on a team with nahida faruzan and beidou they have zero synergy and no healing but it's fine I'll just make a lot of sweet madame#ALSO I only realized he's smiling at his glowing vision in one of his idles before realising he's being watched#and hiding his face with his hat#AND IT MAKES ME SO EMOTIONAL OKAY#like that's essentially the symbol of his freedom and rebirth placed over where his heart should be#and it's his power and his power alone not something anyone else has control over#YOU KNOW#this guy istg
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Prompt 299
Hear me out- Ghosts have wings. They have wings, which are affected by their cores, and can make them disappear from sight if they want or need to. You got that? Good.
Ecto-contaminated people? Don’t have wings. Liminals and Halfas, who have developed cores? Do have wings, and they can’t hide said wings, because unlike ghosts? Their bodies are physical living flesh.
Now Gotham? Ecto-contaminated, there’s no doubt about it. The amount of portals that have been opened there and death pits and death cults… yeah it’d be surprising if it wasn’t. But again, no one really notices, because at most? Most just get a bit of eyeshine.
The Bats however? Oh man are they freaking out when they wake up with aches in their back and feathers starting to poke through their skin. Curse? Nope! Welcome to Liminality, enjoy the second puberty of wings, emotion-sharing, fangs, claws, and whatever else you might develop- also enjoy the whole eating fear thing. (Wait, the what-)
#DCxDP#DPxDC#Prompts#Liminal Batfamily#Except for Jason who is straight up a Halfa#Halfa Jason#Comes out from the Pits with massive fuckin wings bursting wide from his back#Which is hilariously how the batfam figure out that Red Hood is Jason almost immediately when he returns to Gotham#And Jason is so wrong-footed the first time he gets utterly slammed with the rest of the fam’s emotions and utter Joy at him being Alive#Jason has albatross-shaped wings that have protruding bones & a glittering underside like an explosion or falling star#In human form they’re more naturalistic red-brown colors with black & white patterning#Bruce’s wings are massive black ones that fade to a gray on the top like a moving shadow#Dick’s is deep blues & flickering stars & dust#Do you see my vision#Shadow Core Bruce#Star Core Jason#Storm Core Dick#Wind Core Tim#Shadow Core Damian#Light Core Cass#Sun Core Duke#Sea Core Steph#Earth Core Barbara#yes this includes metals#yes Steph can control water & paints & has canisters full of glitter water for mischief#Remind me to describe the others’ wings#because I am worried about running out of tags or Tumblr eating them lol#but also imagine ghost chirp au too#And it could even be before the JL have formed or it could be after#But if it's before JL form or early JL I just think it'd be funny if they only know Batman with wings lol
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#a doodley#okkk 2022: the torture chamber....i only sparsely drew al and developed talon (he was borned...) bc my mind was occupied with other things.#2023: exiting torture chamber; it took me a tiny little bit to get back to drawing and ''interacting with'' al again but i did it even#though it was a reminder of the Bad bc he's my copium#summer 2023: i view and witness media and suddenly have like 5 fictional men i cant decide on which to focus... and september (talon month)#comes along so I decide to focus on Talon after not touching him much at all throughout the entire year#(forced this btw i did not wanna do it LOL i didnt even remember how to draw him)#september 2023 to now: talon has infiltrated the brain. but i want to swivel back to al#now: i've forgotten how to Talk to al (just like i did in beginning of 2023)#(and just like i forgot how to talk to talon for most of 2023)#so ive kind of just been replaying the smunker cow al daydreams from when they first met#so I can find my way back...retracing my steps#in doing so ive kind of also forgotten how to interact with talon but still havent gotten back to al#so rn my life is so boring without imaginary bf interactions. just the before sleep plot rehashing daydreams...#or sparse visions of em Sometimes#nobody in my brain rn just like the short period last yr and its distressing#what do i draw without a love obsession.....#how do i pass time without it....! so boring. idk what to do#i miss the me of several yrs ago when i was drawing 50 different aus with al....ive downgraded in skill and imagination and creativity#so bad since then. idk. idk. i hope they come back to me soon#maybe i shld just draw al a lot which is how i kickstarted caring abt talon again almost a yr ago ?#hoping i can get him to come back before my surgery i need my big sexy boy nurse for recovery#(complaining abt things usually fixes em for me so im hoping thats the case here)
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Had a seismic moment today where I completely reframed my outlook on ambition & started looking at it (in the context of seeing it in other people) as admirable rather than opportunistic to a fault
#To be clear ppl who only work to serve themselves exist & they’re never fun#But as a pre med student surrounded by other ambitious pre meds it’s like actually motivating to see ppl wanna make a name for themselves#And be resourceful#I think the issue only comes in when people get frugal ab their resources and gatekeep them which is like#Very rampant in pre med culture unfortunately#But not w my friends & I love that#Like we’re all very tunnel visioned on what we wanna do but we will share resources w each other always#And no question goes unanswered#We r genuinely happy to be of service to one another#This also made me think ab how I frame ambition in men vs how I do in women#But now I’m very careful about when I label ambition “annoying” like it actually is just inspiring#Esp when exhibited by generous ppl who wanna see u succeed too
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Hey do you ever think about Orym being a self proclaimed romantic who is “super lonely all the time, especially at night” and how guilty he feels about wanting romantic connection because he still loves his husband, and sees Will’s face every night before going to bed, but he’s starting to realize his deeper attraction to Ashton as something real and realize his pining for Dorian as something he shouldn’t ignore, but he was supposed to be with Will and he’s come to terms with Will dying, but sometimes it hurts so much, and yes he wants romantic connection and he’s so lonely, but he still hasn’t gotten revenge for Will’s death, and he may die soon so why pursue anything if he’s gonna be with Will again in the afterlife, BUT he may die soon and why hold off on admitting how he feels when he knows that despite losing Will the time they had was real good and he wouldn’t trade it for anything, and what if he doesn’t die what if it all turns out okay and maybe he now really has a reason to want and hope for not just *the* future, but HIS future because that future could include Dorian or Ashton and is it bad to not want to be with Will sooner or is it better to want to live and be with someone who cares for him because thats what Will would want and he wants romantic connection and he is so lonely all the time, especially at night, and what if I started chewing the drywall huh?
#Hello My Brain Is Only Thinking Orym Thoughts#Liam can’t just drop that Orym is super lonely all the time especially at night and expect any of us to be normal about it#critical role#cr spoilers#orym of the air ashari#this is your chance to get a peak into my craziness#ashrym#dorym#again I’m not much of a dorym girlie pop#BUT#I see the vision#and if Robbie comes back for a long time and can give me the good good slow burn I desire? what then am I to do but agree#but I’m still on my ashrym bull shit#I’m so deep in my ashrym bullshit my passive perception is 48#a forehead kiss and loneliness admission makes me lose my gd mind#I admit that this is excessive but blame the adhd hyperfixation I am just along for the ride
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Finished System Collapse the other day & Murderbot has never been more relatable
First image based on this post by @murderbot-moodboard
#murderbot#the murderbot diaries#system collapse#perihelion#asshole research transport#ratthi#ayda mensah#amena#googling to make sure I'm spelling amena right. bcos I misspelled Ratthis name in a previous post and haven't recovered from the shame#Sadly names pass thru my brain like sand thru time or whatever so. vibes only. i remember the sound not the letters. nightmare#Anyway murderbot mental health moment: the book was alot of fun#i need to do a reread now knowing what REDACTED meant the whole time#cause the wife and I were in torture thru the whole book like what the FUCK did murderbot DO#we were CONVINCED it had stood in the middle of ARTs lounge & loudly announced suicidal intent or something#or like yelled at everyone for risking their lives to come back and retrieve equipment <= it means itself#the combo misery and also sort of relief finding out it was literally just that murderbot has Been Through It#& is Suffering the Consequences#was kind of immense#anyway murderbot who is a crazy little asshole. its so me#Shadow the Hedgehog Gijinka looking motherfucker. I gotta pin down my design for it better#hope the memory visions r comprehensible but tbh whatever if theyre not#squiddlyart
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thinking about kurapika and chrollo and parallels and this circle of horrors where they are the victims AND the tools of their fates.
they both think they are neither or more like they don't care about it at all. they don't see themselves as victims, and they see absolutely no other way to live other than this role they took upon themselves. kurapika had such a strong sense of identity and what he wanted to do with his life and understands himself perfectly at all times. he was a part of his clan, but he was more an individual than anything else. kuroro, on the other hand, never knowing, never thinking what his motives are, deliberately not understanding himself and desperately holding on to the spider. he can't be an individual but with others, he can be the spider.
and for both of them, it all started on vengeance. kurapika abandoned himself in order to become a tool, a weapon, to avenge his clan, and to collect scarlet eyes. he stopped being himself and became his people. kuroro didn't know his family, didn't know where he actually came from, didn't know who he was or what he was supposed to be. so growing up in meteor city, he held on to his people strongly. and in order to avenge and protect his people, he would become a tool, a weapon, he would give himself to them. he started being himself as he became his people.
kuroro could be something for his people. and kurapika could be nothing for his people.
kurapika took on the role of judgement for vengeance. kuroro took on the role of villain for vengeance. kurapika acted his part by diminishing everything he was, and kuroro acted his part by filling up his identity with it.
but one thing stays clear and fixed with them throughout it all. they would do anything for their people. for whomever they consider their people. "he'll put his friends before his mission." a weakness kuroro sees in kurapika so quickly and so easily. but the same thing he considers a strength in himself. "i am not your top priority. it is the spider that must be kept alive." as long as his people are alive, his identity will live on. and as long as kurapika is alive, his people’s identity will live on.
"now you will get to experience the pain of losing your home." kuroro (and the spiders) killing the kurta clan set this parallel in motion for himself as the circle began for kurapika. and (speculatively) kurta clan hurting his people was what set the circle in motion for kuroro, too. now thinking about where they are in the story and how their end could be, it is very clear that they are finally ending up in a place where they mirror each other (as they have from the beginning) and they can recognise it in each other and themselves. kurapika ending up empty after his mission and kuroro ending up empty after losing spiders. both of them purposeless and with no self left outside of it. in a way, this is how the circle ends. "i can hear that he accepted death." they walk with death every day with no fear and full acceptance and after losing the only thing they live for, not even something they hold on to because they don't see a point in being alive outside of the fact that they must keep going for their people, for their purpose, and if not then there's no reason to exist, they are meaningless.
kuroro's vengeance left kurapika all alone, with everyone he knew dead, and feeling hollow at the end. by fate, he ended up all alone, with everyone he knew dead and feeling hollow at the end.
and at that point, they will have to start a new page and build a new self for themselves.
#hunter x hunter#kurokura#kurapika#chrollo lucilfer#hxh#&#when the narrative of characters are so sweetly fucked up and so intertwined that they dont even have to interact for me to go insane#also there are two wolves inside me. one wants them to never leave this fucked up circle and going around feeling lost#and having nasty sex about it bc they are obsessed with each other.#for kurapika its like. 'you're the one caused all of this i will always hate you. but you are the only one who will ever#understand and know me completely like this. i want you to take everything. i want you to give me anything.'#and for kuroro its like. 'i want you to give me purpose. i want you to hate me. i want you to love me. i want to give you everything.#i'll kill for you if you want. i'll die for you if you want. i'll die by your hands if you want. give me anything. give me everything.'#yeah. so#i have a very specific vision for them like the pepe silvia meme. you see my vision or you dont#and the other wolf is just them being kinda mentally stable and living for themselves and building a healthyish relationship#like they come to an understanding and go their own ways but then they keep ending up in the same business and maybe have to work together#and a very slow burn of having to be civil with each other to lovers. or something boring like that#but the sex is still nasty btw#i mean if not. whats all that catholic imagery for
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i-
i had an idea-
now i really want to redraw scenes from the movie
god help me
#like OF COURSE i would draw frost as ultron#she's a cyborg in mk11 like COME ON#cyrax as vision mb?#tell me i'm not the only one who sees the connection#mk fanart#mk1#mortal kombat 2023#mortal kombat#mortal kombat art#mortal kombat fanart#mortal kombat 1#mk frost#mk sektor
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oh to be a Billy Maximoff fan and NOT be an MCU!Wanda ass kisser...I mean apologist. 😞
It's hard.
#billy kaplan#anti mcu wanda maximoff#comic wanda is okay because she actually showed remorse for what she did#mcu wanda is always “wHaT aBoUT mY feEliNgS” in response to someone telling her that she kinda maybe fucked up a lot of people#everyone's like but girl power?#natasha was right there#also carol#jennifer#bruhilde#gamora#nebula#mantis#all great female characters to look up to#and if we want a I support all women's rights and wrongs character we have Agatha#who has done fucked up shit but is not uwu “woe is me” about it#but most of it comes from bad writing#like they don't know what they want to do with her#Wanda Vision was the only show where she was tolerable and then they had to ruin it in the end#that rant was wrong#agatha all along#marvel
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