#they needed so much more time to properly explore the character and make them heal from their trauma

[raggedy-spaceman]

Thinking about how very rushed the pacing of OFMD season 2 felt, I realized that it's actually a good example of why Neil Gaiman taking a gamble and deciding to write a completely new season for Good Omens to properly link season 1 and season 3 and end it at that point was the best thing he could ever do.

OFMD felt like David Jenkins and the writing team were so scared they'd get cancelled that they crammed as much plot as they could in season 2 and tried their best to end it in a way that would work as an actual ending if they cancelled the show, but doing so they sacrificed a lot of interesting character developments and character dynamics, and (imho) wasted a fantastic villain (Ned) killing him off in one episode when he could have been a great foe for the whole season, with Ricky being set up as the main villain in season 3.

I'm not saying OFMD had to end in a cliffhanger like Good Omens did, but they could have still taken a gamble and tell the story they wanted to tell properly, and then adapt it in some other way if the show didn't get renewed, similarly to how Neil said he will write a book if they don't renew Good Omens.

[demonsonthemoon]

Arospec headcanon: Daniela Velasquez from Sense8

I headcanon Dani as aromantic and allosexual. I have also always felt like the show failed to properly explore her character and how she forms relationships. So here is a very short exploration of that headcanon:

Dani clearly sees romantic attachment as leverage, something she can use. Of course, this fits well with her career in show-business, but she seems surprisingly happy to forego any romantic attachment once she settles into her friendship with Lito and Hernando. In the same way, she seems to be using her sexuality to navigate her relationships: she cheats on Joaquin as a way to try and escape their relationship, then immediately tries to have sex with Lito in order to cement their relationship and gain protection. There's some self-destructiveness in her behavior, but I also feel like this shows someone who feels in control of her sexuality, whereas she has a much harder time using the codes of romance to her advantage, even if she tries to.

I've always been sad that the development of her relationship with Lito and Hernando was never explicitally explored. I guess relationship negotiation doesn't make for good television? Still, there are some definite hints that they have a non-traditional friendship, which could be interpreted as a queerplatonic relationship. There's some ambiguity in the series about Dani's photos of Lito and Hernando, but I've always felt as though the two men weren't actually surprised at the existence of the photos, and only afraid of the risk of them being leaked. This makes me feel as though Dani's part in their sexuality (the way she watches and masturbates as they have sex), is something that's been acknowledged and accepted by the two men. They certainly make space for her in their domestic lives when they all move in together, in a way that goes way beyond just protecting Dani and all of their reputations.

I want to read Dani as allo-aro. I want to see her as someone who's been enduring what people have called “love” because she thought that was necessary to get what she wants (sex, safety, affection,...) I want to grieve for the way she's been traumatized by an abusive relationship, in which someone could call violence and obsession love and no one would correct him. I understand how, for someone like her, Lito and Hernando's relationship could be a safe heaven. Lito is someone who does not feel attracted to her, but who still acts caringly towards her and can offer her the protection she needs. More than that, Lito and Hernando's relationship is an example of truly caring love, one that can help her heal from her trauma but which – very importantly – doesn't need her to put her boundaries on the line to do so. She doesn't need to fall in love to learn that love can be kind. She doesn't need to fall in love ever, because she no longer needs a romantic relationship in order to not be alone. I think this reading is much kinder to the character, instead of the way the show brushes off her connection to Lito and Hernando as “gay fetishism” in the first season (while simultaneously also asserting that Hernando genuinely cares for her as a friend.)

In the end, headcanoning Dani as aro is important to me because she's not alone. Her relationship with Lito and Hernando goes against the narrative that it's normal for romantic love to isolate you (inside your closed off couple bubble), which leads to the idea that it's normal for arospec people to be left behind, to always be treated as second best. Instead, we see Hernando break off his relationship with Lito based on how the latter treats Dani. And I want every arospec people to get what Dani gets: relationships that are mutually supportive and which are open to intimacy even if they aren't romantic.

[patchwork-crow-writes]

Hi!! Second question here!!

I see you talking about Kralsei a lot and I honestly LOVE reading about it!! I'm really curious to know what you think about their symbolisms of light and dark, and how this would reflect on their characters and relationship in the game itself!

...oh boy, do I have Thoughts about this topic. I could talk about this for DAYS, but I shall refrain and just offer you some of my most recent musings on the subject.

So yeah, I'm pretty much in the same camp as you when it comes to looking at Kris and Ralsei as representing their respective worlds - obviously Kris is our protagonist and the character we literally control, and they're a lightner, so they represent the light world, while Ralsei is the first (actually second because of Lancer) darkner we meet and get to know, and he calls himself the prince of the dark, so naturally he stands in for the dark world. The two characters have some kind of connection that hasn't really been explored too deeply in-canon, and there's all the talk about the balance between light and dark and how disaster will befall the world if the two were to fall out of alignment, and it does make you wonder what role exactly they will play in redressing that balance... but more on that later.

What complicates this view is the fact that there's three entities you have to consider: Kris, Ralsei, and Us. And then you have to ask a new question, which is that if Kris represents light and Ralsei represents dark, then what exactly are we supposed to represent? Are we the force that works to keep them in harmony? Or could we be the wedge that drives them apart, by forcing them to interact in ways that neither of them really want to? Obviously our involvement is non-negotiable at this stage, as there wouldn't be much of a game if we weren't present to exert our influence upon Kris, and by extension Ralsei. But it is possible that, in our eagerness to force them together/apart, depending on your viewpoint, we could perhaps be sowing the seeds for disaster further down the line.

Another thing I think about with regards to Kris and Ralsei, both in terms of their developing relationship and the debate surrounding them, is how important communication - or rather miscommunication - is when discussing them. In-game time, these characters met yesterday, so they don't really know each other all that well. Kris isn't exactly able to represent themself properly due to our influence, but even putting that to one side their proclivity for pranks might make it difficult for Ralsei (who we must remember doesn't really understand the concept of sarcasm) to properly understand them on the rare occasions they are permitted to speak. And for his part Ralsei is a textbook people-pleaser who seems to default to whatever he thinks would make Kris and/or the player happy over his own preferences, and we also know he has a bad habit of not telling people things he doesn't think they need to know, perhaps until it's too late. Put the two of them in a room together and there's a good chance that neither of them will have a clearer understanding of who the other actually is, but rather hold false representations of each other that all but guarantees further misunderstandings down the line.

And if these two characters WERE to end up in a relationship of some kind, whatever form that might end up taking, those misunderstadings could end up causing the very thing they were trying to avoid in the first place... but I shall park that thought there for right now :P

Meanwhile, there's also the point that WE do not really know Kris or Ralsei that well, or their respective opinions on each other. We have clues, of course, such as the teas and the ways these characters behave around each other, but there is the danger of extrapolating from these meager pieces of information, such as when people thought Ralsei might be "evil", or that Kris despises him because his tea doesn't heal for 120HP while Susie's does. And that can lead to assertions such as "Ralsei is essentially identical to Asriel so shipping him with Kris is essentially incest", which... I don't have enough time in the day to go over what is wrong with that right now, but trust me that is coming down the pipeline.

The crux of what I'm trying to say about all this is: we just don't know enough about the situation right now. We can't read Kris's or Ralsei's mind, and what scraps of knowledge we can glean from their conversations and narrative details isn't enough to base any sort of decisive statement on how their relationship might develop in the future. All we can say for sure is that something connects Kris and Ralsei, the game is pushing them together in these situations for some narrative or thematic purpose, and thus wants to say something about the nature of RPG romance, destiny, love, identity, agency, et cetera, through them.

But yeah... I've kind of rambled for like two hours at this point, so I think that's a good place to stop. Thank you for the second ask! :D

[moonshere]

Another day another ISAT live posting, some more thoughts and potential spoilers

Man man man where to even BEGIN! God this game gets more and more heart wrenching by the minute!!

to be clear, I’m currently at Act 3 I think? I tried to help everyone all at once so I did one full run with no skips to get all the info I needed, and I couldn’t stop thinking about what every else’s pov of Siffrin is like. At the moment my Siffrin is over lvl 60, so he managed to one-shot a lot of the enemies.

How does it look to everyone else? Your friend, the cheeky, pun-loving, trap and puzzle master. Who’s known more for their speed, killing enemies faster than anyone else. And while exploring they don’t look around, they just take the keys in the correct order and manage to choose the correct path every single time.

I noticed that some interactions you can make your friends notice that you’re acting suspiciously. So far I only got Odile to comment on it (and get interrupted rip) and Isabeau to say they will talk later about it. But I’m REALLY hoping there’s a way to get Siffrin’s friends to actually confront him before a loop end so he can actually freaking open up!!!

On that note, I know that I’ve only been talking about Siffrin (I can’t help myself ajdbhsbs they’re my absolute fav and consume my every thought!) I ADORE all the other characters too!!!

Mirabelle is soooooo freaking cute!! (I’ll be honest her character design is one of the reasons that made me want to play the game aidhisns) I’m so so so happy that she’s someone who’s aroace and adores romantic novels!!! There really isn’t that many aroace characters out there, especially one I relate to. But her!!!! It made me so happy!! I loved the scene between her and Siffrin (and that they’re ALSO ace and maybe alloromantic?? Demi??? I’m still unsure haha) their friendship means everything to me!! I also love the subtle way they confirmed she has anxiety! I’m kinda half wondering where she used to live before the House of Change considering how much she talked about how the headmaiden taught her everything

Odile is also so cool!! Finding out that she was only looking for half of her heritage, trying to find somewhere she belongs was something I did not expect but expands so much on her character. At first I thought she was just gonna be the Adult of the group, wise, knows what she’s doing, distant and Too Cool. But this was genuinely so good cuz it showed that Odile is just as unsure as everyone else. Hell, she and Siffrin turned out to have so much in common!! Finding a place to belong but finding nothing but yourself. I loved it so much!

little Bonnie!! They are so stinking cute I would absolutely die for them!! I like how- in a turn on how kids in video games are always put in incredibly dangerous situations and adults let them just cuz they are determined to help- Bonnie is always the one the group wants to protect the most. Even though they wanna help (and they do!! Their heals are lifesaving frfr) it’s always within the limit of their own safety. I also loved their hang out, the hug was so sweet!! Seriously, if anything happened to them I would cry

And lastly Isabeau!! He's so sweet!! i love how much he looks out for Siffrin! I’m not sure if it was a scripted event or that I managed to raise enough sus points for him to notice, but I love how when he noticed that Siffrin isn’t doing ok, he decided to postpone the confession just so he can properly focus later on Siffren’s own mental state! Also also! After looking at the romance novels once again, I almost screamed when Siffren said they were aware!!! They know that Isabeau likes them!! (And their self deprecating comment once again,,,,) Seriously, what torture it must be to see him almost confess over and over and fail everytime!! I definitely want to go back to the ending one more time to see if he ever manages to say it (but man is the king fight long,,,) His hang out was also sweet!! I think also a possible nod to what Siffrin’s home town is? If related to the stars?? But either way, the full on picnic afterwards was so cute!!

I just had to do a full run with them all together once again without any looping cuz Siffrin said so, all the new cutscenes with them together was just the sweetest!! The woodcutting one, the hair brushing, all of it is so soft!! the ending scene where they said they were a family just 🥹🥹🥹🥹 I can’t I can’t this game is too good!! I think the worst part of this though, is seeing Siffrin hoping, despite himself, that maybe, maybe, this time might be it. That all he needed was to be safe, to be happy, to be loved

And it still wasn’t enough

[thyandrawrites]

Dunno if youve answered this already but did you think something of dabi saying sorry to shouto at the end even if no one heard it?

Hi!

I have mixed feelings about that page. I think it was the seed of a better Todofam epilogue, and I wish it was expanded on more, instead of it being tacked on at the end like an afterthought.

What I find good about it is that it's a peek at Touya's emotions. It's the only part of that godawful chapter where we are finally shown how he really feels about his family, past the usual aggression and scorn he uses as a shield. Dabi opening up about his feelings enough to cry again real tears, not blood ones, for the first time in ten years, was a big moment. Because for the first time he's letting himself feel things again, and he's letting himself see Shouto as his own person and not just an abstract recipient of his rage, enough so to genuinely regret the things he told him. This was huge for him! Exploring this side of him was supposed to be the point of letting him survive the war and making him reconcile with the family. That was what foreshadowed with Shouto's resolve to eat noodles with him, anyhow. It's clear to me that Horikoshi originally intended for the brothers to eventually reach a place of mutual understanding, and sharing a meal was supposed to show that growth because meal sharing with his friends is how Shouto formed his first bonds and healed from trauma, and getting included in a family activity, being seeked out as an integral part of it, is how Touya could've healed from his own trauma as well.

So yeah, the tear and the apology were good! They were the start of a process, you know?

What sucks about the execution tho is two things imo:

1. Shouto isn't around to hear it

The point of an apology is to have the recipient hear it. You can't apologize in your head and achieve the same result as having confronted your victim. Not only did Shouto deserve that apology, but it was important for Touya's arc as well. Shouto leaving before Touya could say it to his face achieves nothing, narratively, except making the whole scene feel pointless. It shows his regret, sure, but it doesn't work as the first step towards reconciliation because it takes away communication and reciprocity. All it does is frame Shouto as the bigger person for getting to demonstrate his willingness to bridge the gap with Touya through his actions, while stripping Touya of the chance to properly do the same (in the only capacity he physically can atp, through talking). It's plain callous, it's what I mean. There was no need to make it tragic. Let Touya express his grief and his remorse without using it as yet another way to punish him. Let his family be around to see the change. Let them acknowledge that he feels sorry. Don't make them all leave before he can get a chance to, especially not after dedicating a whole chapter to them sticking around even as Enji went on and on about a self-absorbed apology of his own. Do you see the double standard there?

2. It's rushed and ineffective, and it's never followed up on.

I mentioned this in previous replies, but this chapter should've had much more of a focus on emotions than it did. But Horikoshi chose to write it as antiseptically as possible, sanitizing any ugliness or complexity the fam should've felt and flattening everything into a resolution that feels wildly out of character for all the characters involved.

Touya showed genuine remorse, and he apologized to Shouto, even if Shouto didn't hear it. What does this mean for their relationship? Do they make up afterwards? Does Touya get to say it again, with Shouto present? How does Shouto feel about it?

None of these questions was answered, and there were zero mentions of Touya after the timeskip. This made that scene feel tacked on and inconsequential, at least to me. When Enji started showing remorse, we got over 10 volumes exploring what that meant to him, but all Touya gets is two pages, without even the grace of Shouto hearing it. To me that feels like that scene was only there as an afterthought, only present so that fans wouldn't complain, but it had no overall impact on the narrative. And that soured it for me. Because there was so much potential. But Horikoshi didn't want to believe in it, and scribbled over it right after drawing it

[miscellaneoussmp]

*bounces back* hi hello so! mystery dungeon au. You're my notes document apparently. This is just like. So much angsty hours for the Brazilian mystery dungeon pokemon guys. There was supposed to be fluff in here somewhere but nah. The redeeming feature is that this is multiple years before actual plot happens (well bar the glowy Pac thing, that's still the case), and literally everyone involved is in much better places in their lives now.

Firstly. Shinx glow when stressed? Pac is just constantly glowing. People who don't understand shinx think when he stops glowing he's sick, but then they comment and he gets stressed again. No, no the glowing isn't a normal state of things, it's constant muscle tension from anxiety and trauma he's pretending he doesn't have making excess electricity. If on the occassional times he manages to get peaceful enough sleep to stop glowing (or otherwise gets a break) and you wake him up, Mike will just scratch you to death. He gets less glowy (more lower intensity than less often but hey still progress) when hanging out with Fit, so its allowed. (Mike does not know just how bright - to the point he can't hide it even in the sunshine - Pac gets when he's missing, as he's not there to see it).

The following is um kinda angsty even by above but I've been infodumping it a friend but he's busy now so you get it too! Backstory!!! Fit's the MC but brain not there rn also he doesn't have as much backstory what with amnesia and all.

Bagi is incharge of bounties for collecting criminals (she did used to be a cop in canon), but there's a much lower focus on prison and higher focus on rehabilitation and like. Actually helping. Most people still move into the city where her bosses are and better resources, but sometimes people who were arrested stick around. This is kinda how the Brazilian exploration team happened? After they were arrested and had healed Bagi arranged for Pac, Mike, and Cellbit to join the exploration guild, where they ended up teaming up with Felps. Shared language and also history between them.

Prior to getting arrested! Pac was abandoned as a kid in a dungeon, Mike hatched there without parents, Cellbit was kidnapped as a kid and put in an illegal pokemon fighting ring (please remember the characters are all pokemon, but humans do exist and are talked about) which he escaped. The three were part of the same gang causing minor level trouble in a dungeon, living outside of society (well, societies - most settlements are autonomous and have all their own rules and all). However one really harsh winter the rest of the gang ditched them. Mostly they had stuck to their territory so people just avoided them, but when things got hard and they needed to steal food and resources often violently that's when bounties were put on their heads.

Mike was fine. As a sableye he could eat the rocks. Pac the shinx and Cellbit the cubone though? Not so fine.

Things happen, Pac passes out, probably combo of injury and getting sick and hunger. And Cellbit... Cellbit is really *really* hungry. You don't get just quite how hungry - they were already doing survival theft before this and barely not starving, now they're 2 months into a snowstorm.

And well... You know how canon goes. This is so, so much more desperation and starvation than canon was. But Mike comes back from in on Pac getting a bit chewed on. As the only one who has eaten properly in the last 2 months he manages to get Cellbit off him, and just. Leaves Cellbit dazes on the floor as he decides getting arrested is better than Pac dying (while Bagi and her organisation are on the lets actually try help people build lives side of policing, a lot of towns its really, really not like that at all. And being random teens from a gang? Horror stories of bad places kept them in line). He can stop the blood, but its bad injury. Plus, yk, all the other problems rn.

So he ends up dragging Pac and trying to find a town to hand themselves in.

Meanwhile, Felps is a young adventurer, who has taken out the bounty on Pac, Mike, and Cellbit mostly because Guildmaster Foolish is looking at him like a tasty snack for having not done any jobs recently. Foolish gets to be lazy, the others don't. It's rated as a pretty simple job because, like, the rest of the gang were caught and taken to one of the cities, and three teenagers who have been starving for months. Honestly Bagi posted the bounty herself and with her money because she worked out her brother was involved, but that's besides the point.

Felps ends up finding Pac and Mike at the midpoint of the dungeon, and kinda. That's someone covered in blood. So abandons looking for all three to just teleport them out and to whomever does healing here. Not worked that out yet. Mike is... extremely confused to be just. Left with the healer while Felps teleports off again to get Bagi, and even moreso when Bagi is far more worried about her brother left behind and *eating people* than the two criminals right there. She is also very appreciative that Felps took them to the clinic then came to get her. She doesn't want dead suspects, she wants people to actually get fairly judged and get the help they need as opposed to just throwing them in a cell.

Mostly because she knows some of the crimes her brother has done and wants to believe her brother can still have a life but you know. If she believes there's hope for him, she can believe if about a lot of people.

Unfortunately, Cellbit eating people means she does have to increase the pay and danger level of the bounty, meaning Felps is no longer qualified to finish it. Another team take it, Felps gets to take some time off but does visit those two as curious. And like they stole stuff. They stole a lot of stuff. But also. They're kinda interesting. And they're curious about what he does too. Especially the the guild just gives him a room and pays for all his food yes even with weird diets like Mike has to eat gemstones.

Double unfortunately, the people who pick up Cellbit's bounty... Look. He's horrified at probably killing Pac and Mike (he's killed before, but these two kinda liked him, but he ate Pac and drove Mike out into the snow with what was probably a corpse and was absolutely a corpse in his memory), he's also sick, and starving, and sure he's kinda feral and absolutely resorts to violence first, but if you scruffed him you could probably drag him to town like a naughty puppy.

The team... Do not do that.

They don't even ask for him to surrender before beating him to within an inch of his already tenuous life. And then drag him back to town. And dump him on Bagi's office floor. Rather than, yk, taking the now seriously injured, starving, teenage cubone to the clinic (Bagi is also young, but... it's a small town, she trained apprenticeship style most of her teens, and as the explorer's guild is there if there are problems help is right at hand). Bagi is *not* impressed. Their pay gets docked, and she takes her brother to get help. And wrangles a lot of paperwork to be able to keep him in the village rather than sending him to her superiors in the city who... Have much better resources to help.

But.

Bagi wants her brother, and she's not giving him up.

Recovery from those sorts of injuries is a lot, and also gives all three time to come around to the idea of maybe trying something other than crime. And therapy. Therapy takes some convincing. Honestly having stability in their lives is a lot of a start, though takes a lot of getting used to.

Given time and help getting lives together and all that, the three of them end up at the Guild, because, well, they were interested, and Foolish was willing. And all guild members get bed and board whenever needed (though more senior crews tend to get their own houses with time).

As of Fit showing up they've been with the guild for a few years, and mostly settled in now, and people around town have mostly forgotten the somewhat harrowing nature of them arriving. The scars physically and mentally are still there, but newcomers tend to assume its because exploration work is dangerous, not... yk. Horrific backstory.

They also teamed up with Felps, because he kidna did need a team, and language shared, and Mike liked him and Mike and Cellbit at the time they were teaming were on unstable enough footing Cellbit had to say yes. These days its Cellbit and Felps are besties, though, once Cellbit warmed up to the idea of having friends.

The four of them mostly work in item finding. Pac and Mike were like what do you *mean* we can get paid to legally steal shit from dungeons for people? They get a roof, and food, and no problems with cops, and get to steal shit?! This is like. A dream. And all dungeon explorations involve some fighting, just because of how dungeons go, so Cellbit has somewhere to work out stabby tendencies. They do also do rescue missions (people trapped in dungeons) when needed, but do *not* do bounties on criminals. Its a bit... traumatic for 3/4 of them. Honestly likely 4/4 of them as Felps took one and ended up with some guy a year or two younger than him nearly bleeding to death during the teleport to safety. Just. Different trauma flavours.

Also!!! After searching egg groups, Bagi is a Nidorana (Nidoran both genders matches to Cubone, even if Nidorana can't egg group breed)! It's... Okay yes Cubones do evolve at a higher level than Nidoran, but it is notable she is evolved while Cellbit isn't, despite both being a fair bit into adulthood now. Same with Pac being a Shinx (Felps is mostly just still an Abra as he doesn't see any pressing need to evolve and is just vibing. Some people naturally just chill as their pokemon and this is fine. Someday he'll get around to it, but he doesn't *want* to be bigger and stronger and more able to protect himself and his like Cellbit and Pac). Cellbit did not get the same opportunities as Bagi in life, and so it is taking him longer to get there. Also. Bagi did everything she could to force herself to grow early, to prove her maturity so people would give her what she needed to find her twin.

~Factorial

Factorial, you're really out here writing a novel in my inbox /pos!!

God, they hurt my heart physically in every universe!!!!! There's so much wrong with them. They all need a nap and a hug, I think.

[bluegekk0]

for the “50 questions for your characters” ask game: 24 for the gang :] /nf

24. From childhood to their current age, how has your character changed?

This will be long so I'm putting a divider here. Also, as expected, Vyrm and Grimm will be the primary focus since I think about them the most hahaha

Vyrm - most of his change occured post-hibernation. For most of his life he was the same self-conscious individual haunted by doubt and worry. He was born as the runt of the litter, so he was always behind. Then he outlived his kind by hiding and spending decades in solitude, not aware of how the world actually works, driven by his newfound ambition to prove himself as a leader. Eventually he achieved that goal, but he was just as confused about everything. He unintentionally got himself into a very unhappy, borderline abusive relationship with someone who clearly had a different understanding of love and, in practice, didn't seem to care much for him. But even though the romantic and sexual aspects were new to him, being treated as an object wasn't something he hasn't experienced before. Though it did make him change, for the worse. His self-esteem dropped even more, he stopped paying attention to his own well-being and just did what others expected of him. That changed when he met Grimm, his needs were finally respected and for the first time in his life he experienced a genuine close connection to someone. After his official relationship ended, you could notice a slow change taking place in his behavior, his confidence was still in a bad spot but the reminder that there was someone who cared, who saw him as an equal, helped a lot. Moments of joy became more frequent, and you could tell how much more energetic he was around Grimm. Granted, he was still a wreck mentally, the infection that happened during his rule and the guilt associated with the vessels took a big toll on him. In turn, his only moments of joy and relief was the time he spent raising Hornet (he tried his best to make her as happy as possible and give her a better childhood than his own), and most importantly, Grimm's visits. It's possible that if the infection never returned, he would slowly improve mentally, though with his physical state worsening it would likely not be a happy ending regardless (he was as good as addicted to using soul to replenish his energy, so he needed to have it taken away from him to get better).

As I mentioned earlier, he changed the most after hibernation. First, he lost his soul powers and was forced into a life similar to that of a feral animal. It was humiliating at first, but as time went on, I think part of him found it liberating, he didn't have to hide his instincts anymore, a big part of why he ended up refusing to eat in the first place. But he was still in a terrible mental state, to the point he even considered a way out, to put it gently. That, paired with his wounds that were not given a chance to heal properly, meant that he would likely not survive for long. But then Hornet found him, and took him to Dirtmouth where he reunited with his family, and most importantly, Grimm, who once again became a figure in his life who inspired him to change. It was a long journey, and even now, 10 years later, he still struggles with confidence, but he finally realized his own worth and became more attentive to his own needs. Moreover, he finally found a partner who actually loved him, and through that relationship he was able to explore his own feelings and desires, which was extremely validating. He's happier than he's ever been, in large way thanks to Grimm and the rest of the family, but he wouldn't be here if it wasn't for his inner strength he maybe wasn't aware of. There were times where he thought he was worthless and deserved to die, yes, but he still kept on living regardless. Perhaps one day he will learn to give himself credit for that, but for now, he's already in a significantly better place than he was before, and a far cry from the constantly trembling, self-hating wyrm he once was.

----------

Grimm - in his childhood, right after he was created by his father, he was always the more rebellious of the two siblings. He would frequently pull pranks on his sister, and it was clear that he wasn't as interested in the godly matters as she was. But more than anything, he was naive. As he grew up, he believed he could leave the gods' plane to mingle with the mortals with no consequences, and he ignored the growing tension between him and The Radiance. After all, it wasn't that serious to him, so why would things be different for her? In his youth, he was a lot more selfish than you'd expect from him now, he would often use his powers against the mortals, usually to trick them for his own amusement, but there were moments where he got carried away in his power-tripping behavior. Then his sister has had enough of him, and banished him out of fear that he would one day wish to take their father's realm for himself. Grimm felt deeply hurt by the betrayal, and was left trapped inside his Nightmare Realm, weakened to the point he couldn't maintain his physical form indefinitely. This gave him a lot of time to think and self-reflect, and as he eventually found a way to get his physical form out into the mortal world, he realized he couldn't do it all by himself. He became a lot more humble, a trait shown on full display when he began asking mortals for their assistance with the ritual, eventually forming the Troupe that still accompanies him to this day.

The lesson he learned did not stop him from pursuing fun activities and pleasures, just like back in the day, but he was no longer the same god who abused his powers for his own amusement. In many ways, he acted just like the mortals, with his charisma and allure taking front stage in his interactions in place of being seen as a god. He found particular enjoyment in sexual encounters, and through his pursuits he eventually realized he wanted to find a soulmate, someone he could love in more ways than just physical. He did end up falling in love, but it made him realize one more thing - he was immortal, and 99% of the beings around him were not. Mortality and losing his loved ones became his biggest fear, which eventually ended his relationship and turned him into a loner afraid of making deep connections. So what it meant for him, was that he would sleep with strangers only to satisfy his needs, and would run away at the mere possibility of a connection forming. He masked his fears and insecurities with his charisma, so he was dealing with it by himself.

Meeting Vyrm changed him significantly, it gave him hope that perhaps love wasn't out of the picture for him yet, and their friendship made him learn what it means to truly love someone for who they are. In turn, he became a lot happier even outside of his visits at the palace. He finally had something to look forward to, and someone he was hoping could become his soulmate and lover at some point, someone whom he already loved more than anyone. Through helping Vyrm overcome his struggles, he also helped himself and his loneliness, not to mention, he learned a lot about deep connections that he wasn't able to in his casual relationships. But then the infection returned, and he lost everything.

That period of his life was the most devastating for him. Any sense of loneliness and hopelessness he experienced earlier in his life, returned ten times worse. The casual encounters he once participated in just for pleasure, now became the only way for him to not completely lose it, a distraction from his heartache. He would often isolate himself and drink to forget, but no matter what he did, the pain never went away.

But by some miracle, he eventually reunited with Vyrm, and they didn't waste any time now. He got what he wanted all his life, and he couldn't be happier about it. The ten years of intense change for Vyrm had an impact on Grimm as well. He stopped masking his emotions as much, and is now willing to show his vulnerable side more often, especially in front of his partner. He became a lot softer and more approachable, even to those he would otherwise ignore or scare away, though his enjoyment of intimidating others is still there. That said, his past definitely impacts his character now. He's incredibly protective, often to a fault, as a result of his fear of losing those he loves. And when it comes to his relationship with Vyrm, it's very clear that all the years of sleeping around made him very eager to take things to the bedroom. He's completely infatuated by Vyrm and adores him as a whole, from his passion for his work, to his body, and he's not afraid of showing it. But at the core of it all is mutual respect and deep connection, and in this regard, Grimm has definitely changed. Gone is the lone wolf terrified of loving someone out of fear of loss; the connection he made with Vyrm, and the family he has now, have become his main driving force, and he's the happiest he's ever been.

----------

Hornet - she was born as the fruit of a dalliance, and raised primarily by Vyrm, so that is the childhood she remembers the most. As a child, she was a bit of a headache to put it mildly. She was very confident and loved to cause trouble to everyone in the palace. Some of it was definitely because of spider blood, but Vyrm's tendency to let her do whatever she wanted as long as she was happy certainly contributed. She was 100% the kind of child to use her father being the king to her advantage. That said, she still loved and respected him, and that is why, as she grew older, she began noticing more things. His anxiety, his deteriorating physical health, everything. She was worried about him, and I think that was what prevented her from growing into an arrogant, power-tripping individual. That is also when her frustration began showing its first signs. Despite her concern and her asking whether there is something she can do to help, he claimed everything is fine, which made her feel useless. Yes, she was still young then, but she loved her father and didn't want to see him in pain. In the meantime, she picked up the needle Herrah left for her and began training under Queen Vespa in the neighboring region, leaving the palace for days and weeks at a time, but never forgetting about checking on her father from time to time.

And then he disappeared, leaving her all alone. The shock of finding the palace, her home, completely gone, was indescribable. She didn't know what to do, and being left with no options, she traveled to the Hive to stay there. But soon after, it was overwhelmed by the infection, so she had to leave. During the years of solitude, she grew bitter and angry. At her father for disappearing without a word, at herself for not being present when it happened, and at the world for being cruel and taking away her only other parent. Grimm was still somewhere out there, and in her childhood she grew to see him as a potential father figure, but he was away. She was angry at him as well, after all, if he truly cared, he would be there for them. It was very unfair to him, he couldn't have known this would happen, but in her anger she didn't care.

After the infection ended, she was stuck with injured Holly, and having no other options, she took them to Dirtmouth. She always saw vessels as empty beings she couldn't get attached to, and initially she treated Holly the same, dropping them off at Grimm's troupe tents and leaving. But she did come back, eventually. Holly might have been a thoughtless void being, but they were the only semblance of a family she had, as she was still too angry at Grimm and she knew he would leave anyway. With time, she realized she was wrong about the vessels, and began seeing Holly more as a fellow bug with thoughts and feelings, and most importantly, an actual sibling.

Her father's return marked another big turning point for Hornet. All her anger returned with him, and she became the most unpleasant she has ever been, lashing out at him constantly. But deep inside she still loved him, and felt bad about treating him that way, especially after learning his side of the story. So eventually, she decided she wanted to change for the better and to learn how to control her anger, she didn't want it to get in the way of her having a family again. Her anger at Grimm also subdued, and it was Grimm whom she initially asked for advice. Ten years later, she's still quite moody and unpleasant at times, but she has much better control of her emotions, and has even learned to accept forms of affection she would often avoid in the past. And most importantly of all, her relationship with Vyrm improved significantly, and even though those days are long gone, she does occasionally feel as if she was back in the palace all those years ago.

----------

Holly - their childhood was the most tragic of all of the characters. They has to climb out of their birth place, a journey so dangerous that they had to watch their siblings die one by one. They were confused and didn't fully comprehend what happened at the time (their mother's part of their parentage definitely influenced it as well, they're not as emotional as you'd expect, and so they can move on with more ease than many others), all they knew was that they had to reach the light at the top of the Abyss. That light turned out to be their father, and they became immediately fascinated by him. Since then, they saw him as this powerful bring they could only aspire to be like, and as they were made aware of their mission, they knew they wanted to succeed to not disappoint him. At some point, though, they began hoping that despite everything, they could be considered his child. And there were moments where he slipped and showed them affection, which only motivated them further to make him proud.

But then the infection suddenly stopped, the voice in their head became silent, and they could feel the burning substance leaving their body. Soon after, they stumbled upon Hornet, much older than they remembered, and she took them to Dirtmouth where they were left in Grimm's care. They remembered him, and although they were never close, that soon changed. They got attached to him, and he taught them many valuable things they could use to communicate, something they were never able to do, and over time they began seeing him as a parental figure. Their father's return was shocking to them, they feared that he was disappointed or angry at their failure, but it soon became clear that he held no grudge towards them. And despite their childhood, or lack thereof, they forgave him. After all, they wanted to move on, they had a whole life ahead of them and many things to experience, and they were happy to do so with him and with a family they always wanted. After years of The Radiance's influence, they were simply tired and wanted to enjoy what they had now, even if they were very confused and inexperienced. But the prospect of learning everything they missed out on was exciting, and that kept them going despite all the hardships.

Hornet's arrival made them a bit jealous, but they never lost track of their goal. At that point they were old enough to know that they were not meant to experience that life, though it did not stop them from wishing things were different. They had a mission, they had to succeed. Then they were sealed away, their last memory of Vyrm's bright form being the sight of him walking away. They don't remember many details of what happened after, only what The Radiance told them in her constant attempts to break them down. Their desire to make their father proud was their weak point, and eventually she managed to break their will and spread her infection once again. The only thing they could think about through all the pain was that they failed their father and everyone in the kingdom.

Of course, all those years of torment and pain did not just poof out of existence. Holly had to learn how to deal with their trauma, and on top of that, they had to adjust to their disabilities. But compared to other members of the family, they were able to cope much better. Perhaps this was because they had the blood of a distant, near emotionless being, or they were simply too tired to let a now dead goddess dictate their life. They still struggle with those terrible memories, but they are in a much better state than you'd perhaps expect from someone who has been through so much.

----------

Zote - you wouldn't guess from his behavior, but he has actually changed significantly. From his childhood he was the object of bullying, he was always lagging behind others, and his confidence only made him a laughing stock when he inevitably failed at most basic tasks. Even his own parents didn't have much hope in him, they saw him as an embarrassment and there were times where they even pretended not to know him. This made him furious, and he made it his life mission to prove them wrong and be the greatest knight his tribe would immortalize in poems and stories. But between all those words of confidence and arrogance that he repeated over and over, were moments of vulnerability that he desperately hid from others. It was hard for him, he had no one he could trust or count on, but all of the cruel words still lingering in his memory only motivated him further. In reality, however, he was just as clumsy and incompetent as ever. He left his homeland and somehow ended up in Hallownest in one piece, and he quickly began spreading his nonsense to everyone he passed by, acting over confident and being borderline insufferable. Safe to say that in his attempts to be remembered, he made others dislike him. Was he aware of it? I like to think so, he was convinced he couldn't trust anyone, so perhaps it was a way from him to discourage others from trying to befriend him (and inevitably betray him). Somehow he ended up avoiding the infection, and although he had a few close calls, he managed to survive the worst period of Hallownest history.

Then he met Holly, who for some reason decided to befriend him. To this day he has no idea why, and at the time he tried to protest and chase them away by saying horrible things to them. But they were stubborn, and insisted on hanging out with him. As time went on, he gave up trying to get rid of them, more than that, he started to enjoy having them around. Whenever he went on and on about his accomplishments, they listened and, surprisingly, paid attention to it. It made him feel actually important for once, and, unbeknownst to him, their unconditional kindness started to have an effect on him. He stopped being so unpleasant to them, in fact, he viewed them more like a companion than a nuisance, and would treat them accordingly. Part of it was definitely the fact that they towered over everyone, and having them behind his back made him even more confident. But they weren't a fighter, and although he found them boring, he found himself enjoying just hanging out with them and not doing much.

10 years later, he has changed significantly, though it's hard to notice as he's as loud and annoying as ever. But if you have the patience to spend more time with him, you'll notice that he tends to be less unpleasant. He doesn't look for ways to insult others all the time to make himself appear better, and most shocking of all, he even admits to being wrong at times. This is especially noticeable whenever he's around Holly, though their influence extends past those interactions. He still has a long way to go, but having a friend and some semblance of a family had a big impact on him. For the first time in his life he feels like he can trust someone, and that perhaps he doesn't really have to be the best of them all to be worth anything. He won't ever tell that to anyone, and since old habits die hard, many still find him very annoying and rude. But he's getting there, slowly.

----------

Lewk, Asta and Milo - as much as I love them there isn't much to say here since they're still in the earliest chapter of their life. Lewk is the only one who had the opportunity to expand his horizons, especially now that he goes to school. He's learning more about the world, and the biggest shift in his life was leaving the care of his parents, even if for a short time. The twins are still very young, and since I'm keeping this answer to only current events, there isn't much I can say. The only thing to mention is that their personalities are slowly becoming more apparent, with Asta being a confident escape artists and Milo growing a bit bitter and jealous, and very sensitive. Aside from that, time will tell where their lives lead them.

[crystalelemental]

Finally got myself starting on Final Fantasy 9 properly, and have some general thoughts.

For clarity, I am through the first disk's content and got through most of the Treno stuff.

Kinda like FF8, my recollections of the first playthrough of FF9 all those years ago revolve around a single point: the party split. I dreaded this. I remember absolutely hating the split, because Zidane's party is left with exactly no healing at all, and you have to deal with Potion as your only means of healing. Which costs money. But money is tight in this game because you can't ever sell equipment, because all your equipment has unique skills and different equipment doesn't always pass those particular skills to every character so you kinda just need to keep everything. As such, I remember this segment being a nightmare.

I am pleased to announce, not as bad as remembered.

For one thing, magic...kinda sucks? Again? PS1 era did not like magic, huh? Vivi's T1 spells are functionally useless, but more than that, it's the issue of MP. It's so low that you only get a few casts in any given stretch of time, only to find in boss fights that Vivi contributes less than everyone else just stabbing a target. Garnet isn't exactly much better, given that her healing is only useful a couple of times anyway.

The main reason to miss Garnet, then, is honestly the exploration phases where you need occasional pop heals. Those sections were a little difficult to break into, and required some Mandragora farming for cash. Which...I've done a lot of, I'm not gonna front. I'm also dirt poor again. The streamers I've been watching keep joking about FF12 having no money, but man FF9 feels way worse than 12 ever did.

Anyway, boss fights are the big hangup I have. While the exploration phases are difficult at times, they're at least fast-paced and zones are easily understood just by looking, unlike the other PS1 era games. So I'm overall enjoying this more than the last two from gameplay, at least. The problem is bosses suck.

Here's an example: this morning, my wife took a break from her game to nap around 8:45. We go on a walk and lunch date on Saturdays, usually leaving around 10, so I figure hey, I've got about an hour. I book up the game to play, having just finished all the Chocobo Forest and Qu's Marsh stuff, and about to press to Gizamaluke Cave. I spend about three minutes getting over there, about 12 exploring the cave thoroughly, about 35 fighting the boss, and about 5 getting the next Blue Mage skill (I'm using a guide to indicate Blue Magic, given that Quina is mandatory for an indeterminate amount of time).

"What the hell kept you?" you may ask. "Surely the boss wasn't that hard." It wasn't. I won first try. "It shouldn't take that long, though?" It does. Because of Zidane. Zidane is the main character. He is also a thief. Which means they had to design a system that makes thieving important. Thus, equipment having all the unique skills and such. Bosses have equipment. It's unclear whether you can buy them later (so far everything can be, but how long it takes varies), but even with that, the economy is in shambles, and you likely don't want to spend the money for it. So you spend an ungodly amount of time trying to steal semi-rare equipment, with Zidane failing some 40+ actions in a row for no reason, as your party just sits around waiting for him to do his singular fucking job, draining your Potion stocks from like 90 to 30.

I will admit that to some degree, I may be overly concerned about the stealing mechanic. But I also am 100% certain there will be unique steals sooner or later. I'm kinda surprised they haven't already happened. And in a game where equipment matters so much not just for its own sake, but for learnable skills? Now I need to get everything. The brain disease compels me. The only one I let go was Beatrix, because I didn't feel like resetting after all those scenes just for her rare drop. Turns out it was a sword you can buy almost immediately, so apparently sometimes the game plays pranks.

I dunno. This feels very similar in structure to FF8. What's the functional difference between spending 30 turns drawing magic for everyone, or spending 30 turns stealing? Answer: in the former, your characters are all doing something, and "Draw heal spells" is usually an option. In the latter you just get the piss beat out of you while Zidane does fuckall for 30 of god's own minutes. And yeah, maybe like FF8 there are better ways of doing this, and I'm not really required to do all of this. But shit dude, without encyclopedic knowledge of the game, how am I supposed to know this isn't unique stuff? So the compulsion is reinforced.

I don't dislike the game, I just wish that stealing mechanics weren't always so terrible. I legitimately hate having to do stealing in Final Fantasy games, I feel like it's never good. There's always some stupid shit about rare steals and unique equipment and it drives me nuts. I suppose this game isn't too different in that regard. I just wish it wouldn't.

(also I am actively avoiding the minigame discussion. I hate catching frogs. I hate Chocobo Hot and Cold. Minigames in this era of Final Fantasy are intolerable.)

[upsidedowngrass]

reading your and jaspers posts about bryce with silent admiration because im too scared to contribute but i really love bryce so much hes my girlfriend and my husband and i like hearing u guys talk about him because youre Right. especially as someone who struggled from grief and trauma and being abused i think bryce's case interests me more than any of the other characters (even though liam is my favorite, and it says a lot because i find all of them interesting) because there is so much to him. i doubt he has processed a single thing about what happened. i think stellas death was recent too honestly, within the last few years at least, and he copes by... not coping. burying himself in work and drinking in the hopes to forget about it. not even to mention the fact that in episode 7 it showed him driving home drunk personally i feel he was past the point of caring to the point of engaging in risky/dangerous behaviors (this speaks for itself, i dont think i need to say why). i think that the plane impacted him so much that within those 7 months after leaving he got his shit together. i cant speak for if hes totally sober or not but at the very least he doesn't drink as much as he used to and i doubt he's putting himself in danger anymore. to be honest i think bryce is one of the characters who has changed the most because of the plane, which makes him being rejoined all the more interesting to me. im probably just making shit up but i like to read into it a little more than "bryce and liam were getting along but now theyre separated and liam has to fix it oh no". sorry this ask is kind of word vomit im not in the headspace to tidy it up but i hope you get what i mean

i think if one had continued for longer than it did it would have been interesting to explore bryce finally accepting and coming to terms with his past (him not seeing his childhood home in the wr anymore kind of representing this). i love bryce and he deserves to heal

TY!!!!!!! im glad my thoughts warrant admiration to you :D!!!!!!!!!!! (i will say tho that every time uve ever posted YOURE thoughts i am like ohhhhh.... ur SO RIGHT. i think u have some of the BEST interpretations of the one characters ive seen!!!!!)

(talked SOOO so much .so there is a readmore :) )

brcye really IS such an interesting character???? ik ive said it before but i AM biased towards protagonists so i usually focus on liam but like ...... bryce really IS probably one of the more. indepth ? characters in one in terms of like. background and how he Acts. i think ALL of teh characters are written really incredibly but i think, given how much of his bg is clarified (esp in contrast with how little is shown of the other characters lives pre-one) his motives, personality, emotions all end up being SUPER super elaborate and i REALLY love how he was written ??

(that said i think the reason he IS elaborated on sm is bc like. one doesnt elaborate on character backgrounds like MOST of the time. even charlotte is mostly left up to interpretation, bc one is more about the HOW people respond rather than WHAT made them respond that way. but charlotte and bryce are both outliers, and bryce ESPECIALLY so. because both obviously have Things they havent worked through properly, but bryce is directly just. Living in it. its the fact that he WONT acknowledge the actual Things that hapepned enough to heal that warrants the elaboration. while the other characters stop acknowledging ANYTHING about their lives , save for charlotte, who gradually works out her issues themselves, because THATS whats effecting her, bryce is CONSTANTLY just. he Needs to go back, but his problems ARE about what happened, and the fact that his life outside of the plane was what MATTERED to him, but that even then, he just Wouldnt acknowledge that life when he Needed to. idk if that makes sense but ohhh i think about the decision to elaborate on some characters and to not on others bc it feels Important)

hes so. he mirrors all of the contestants in some ways, but he mirrors amelia a LOT in that both of them respond to trauma by Setting It Aside. like That Trauma Cant Affect Me If I Dont Look At It. like. ur right bryce has NOT processed ANY of his trauma. which like it makes SENSE bc. it prob feels so much easier to him to not think about it by drinking instead, because its a Lot to think about. its a Lot to come to terms with. but bc he WONT acknowledge it but its still AFFECTING him he just gets More and More miserable (the detail about him driving home drunk and not even caring is so. :( )

what IS one of the most. compelling? aspects of his character to me is the way he responded to Everything after getting eliminated. bc it just feels So Real. because he IS healing, not completely, and not in the best way, but he clearly like. started putting SO much work into improving his life??? (the detail of him finally getting an end table for his bed instead of just... using a cardboard box ALWAYS gets to me. and that + the fact that the photo of stella is put up makes it seem like. THATS what was in that box. he LITERALLY started Unpacking thigns. its like poetry to me.) because it IS hard, and i think hes still putting things to the side, shoving the trauma from the plane to the side now instead of all his other grief and trauma. and the removal of the cans from his room yknow?? that hes getting up for work on time now?? its like. yeah i agree idk if hes necessarily SOBER yet but he really does seem like hes working really hard

its not perfect, but its BETTER and it feels. correct?? (and tbh? trying to brush off the plane as a dream isnt even teh worst thing he couldve done with that, i think, bc reasonably what WAS he supposed to do w that experience?? i dont think there WAS a good answer) bc the plane was a whole new kind of trauma. and i think surface level, one would THINK hed get WORSE after further trauma but like. i think he DID in some ways but in the ways that actually affected how he acknowledged and responded to his pre-existing trauma DID get better bc, as he puts it, hed Thrown his life away before, and didnt want to do it again. bc this time, he very well couldve died. and while he was on the plane, being home, on earth was SO much better than the plane, and it recontextualized Everything. hell, maybe after that, the earth finally felt Less daunting, like somewhere he Wanted to be, because for once, he WANTED to be back, and rationalizing That and the fact that he got Lucky, that something Worse couldve just full on Killed Him Forever really DID mean he didnt WANT the worse to come, at least not as much as before. but that meant he HAD to start actually Working on improving things, and i think he may not have Intended to acknowledge Worse things, but simply because the things he had to do to improve his life, like drinking less, making his house more Livable, they all Forced him to think about things More. hes still certainly not thinking about them as much as he Should, hes still not Processing things, but hes Heading in the right direction . he really was SO changed by ONE

and then liam showing up forces him, once again, to think about something he tried to push to the side. aaaaaaaandd then he rejoins and its so. it feels thematically fitting and IS so so SO interessting. because for once in his life hes REALLY facing his trauma head on. but then is brought straight back into it. and i need to think about that aspect more bc those thoughts are a bit less Focused than my other thoughts but given how complex his writing is after he gets OUT, its. SO interesting to think about how being BACK affects him

esp bc like. him starting ep 18 Pissed Off- which historically his responses to trauma are to either just Be Shocked, as depicted a LOT in ep 14, or to get Very Vocally pissed, as shown through the first half of s1, esp ep 6, and ep 11, and ep 13, and ep 18. ive seen it written as 'he doesnt have anywhere to direct the sheer amnt of STRESS and fear so he just. ends up yelling at people bc what else CAN he do' and i think thats?? probably fairly accurate. i dont think hes as Constantly Irritable and Irrationally Angry as fanon presents him , bc it tends to be. excessive. but he DOES get reasonably angry in response to stress !!! i always think abt how his body language in the 'credits' scene of ep 6 look like hes yelling at airy. and im. lays on the ground. i dont even know if thats ever as much 'just anger' as it is Fear and it FUCKS ME UP

but the way i see it, that ties to ep 18 a LOT. because he was really Getting better. hell, what he thought was the WORST that could happen HAPPENED (dying) but he. came out OKAY? its like he was being forced to think about and work through his trauma and he survived and was ok. but being sent back is like. 'oh god i did that all for nothing.' but i think it also sort of?? serves as the Last Push for him to really, REALLY acknowledge the plane (which is why it makes sense so thematically for him to be the rejoiner. he WAS the only contestant whod Chosen to ignore it all. but that has nothing to do with the plane, he cant choose if the plane ignores Him.) past talking about its affects, how its affected people. because after everything hed worked toward, hes Back. hes back, and everyone else is STILL HERE. liam had said they were all still There but seeing them there is a whole other thing. hed SEEN the effects of making it out after 7 months. but he never saw what it was like to still BE there after all that time. and bryce CARES about them (fanon sometimes treats him as if he is a bit. coldhearted? but i think people misattribute him being unhappy with liam as him not caring. i think the problem is that he maybe cares too much, and was affected a LOT, but didnt and doesnt know how to handle that. so he WANTS to ignore it, because it was all he could do, and haaving to backtrack on his haphazard healing from the plane is. highly daunting and uncommfortable and terrifying. thats not being cold though, thats VERY different) and now he HAS to acknowledge Everything, has to be a part of it Again. and i think its a combination of 'liam was here for 7 months after we all thought itd only be a few weeks. Anything could happen. who knows how long ill be here for?' and 'liam didnt have anything when he came back. will I have anything when i come back?? will i have worked so, so hard to heal and fix my life for Nothing?' and 'i dont WANT to be here again.' and 'oh my god all of them Really Really Are Here. Theyve been here the whole time.' and i think all that culminates in an appropriate amount of horror, and that prompts him to do what hes STARTED doing, which was All He Can. and hes pissed off cus hes terrified, so he spurs everyone into pulling out the plug. and then. it doesnt work. it doesnt work and thats the LAST of what he had, and i think iirc hes the LAST one to close his eyes afterwards. because hed BEEN off the plane, hes the one of them who had any hope to give them anymore. and it didnt work

(i also think a lot about how it mustve felt seeing the contestants all so. resigned. because bryce was like that before all this, but ever since one began he was stubborn, and didnt WANT to give up. and i think finding out that these people youd seen try so, so hard just to Handle Any Of This be SO resigned would be. so fucked up. he knew amelia when she was so determined to leave, and while charlotte seems a bit saddened by her resignation, bryce was there BEFORE that happened. he wasnt there like liam or charlotte was to see it gradually develop, and to develop that despair alongside them. all hes seen is that amelia was so determined. and that he may not have known her THAT well before, he knows shes different. he knows she Gave Up and like. GOD. and also i think abt how he mustve Felt seeing the plug for the first time because ehs the only one of them who hadnt seen it before (given its likely all the other characters had, since they casually refer to it). and given the short time frame between him getting there, and the contestants trying to pull the plug? it almost seems that that was like. the last straw. and ive never posted it but i once drew stuff abt it bc. the damage to it is noticable. and i think hes already aware liam was fucked up, but this is like. a tangible, permanent record of that on the plane. and he cares about liam, and has been grappling with all the things liams told him, but thats. thats something he can See. And i think it all of it culminates in him deciding that what hes been avoiding is doing Soemthing about all this, because before he couldnt, and then it was. an awful idea to, and then he didnt have many choices BUT to help. but now theres hardly anything to do, but he has to try. he doesnt want to give up. and it makes me soooooooooooooooooo. head in hands.)

anyway that was a LONG tangent the point is. YEAH. i think rejoining would be. very very significant for his character i dont think youre making shit up its DEFINENTLY a topic w a lot of things to discuss about it

but god. yeah it wouldve been SO nice to see him come to terms with everything hed been through before one. i think the show purposefully included what it did and ended when it did because it makes more sense thematically for it to go unresolved, because the point was that NOTHING was able to be resolved nicely because unfortunately, many things are Out Of Their Control. things COULDVE resolved almost perfect but enough things went wrong at just the right (or more fitting, wrong) time for all of that to not work. i think him no longer seeing the suburbs may have signalled more that maybe, just maybe, he could Do something to help the other contestants even if HE was Dead, that now he finally HAS a goal, if that makes sense (though i think even in the timeline of the series it still wouldve taken way longer for him to process everything Fully, they WERE only in the waiting room for probably about a day) but the idea of finally seeing the waiting room as it is bc hed finally worked through everything .... man.............. man

ik ive already said it though but i DO think it is sooooo so possible for him to heal post canon. im a firm believer that no matter what, at LEAST bryce and ameliaa get home (liam and charlotte have more room for error but i DO generally interpret the ending as them both getting home too, theres just less room for things to go wrong w amelia and bryce). and i think after everything? hed be able to heal. it would SUCK but i think hes, shockingly, in a better place Logistically for things to improve, because he has a support system, he has what hed already worked on in those 7 months, he has so much to aim for. it would be rough and take long but i think ultimately? hed be able to heal :) and its what he deserves

[kitmoas]

Hi Kit, it's comic non! I've been rereading the finale of TGU season 1 for the past few days now, trying to properly put my thoughts into words, because I wanna put even a fraction of thought into this as you have with the finale.

There's so much to take in and process and it's... it's so fucking fantastic. It's so thorough. It has so much goddamn depth. It's detailed, and thoughtful; it almost feels like a character study for all four of them. Which is incredibly impressive given Toy is essentially an OC/reader stand in.

I think that's what makes this AU stand out. Toy is so defined but in a universally relatable way. The distinct relationship they have with each of the MCU women just feel so... right? It's a fantastic capture of not just the canon characters, but what they each bring to the dynamic.

I know we talked a bit originally about Kate's assault storyline. I'm sooo blown away by how you've written it. While I love a good comfort fic sometimes, I personally appreciate exploration on how lack of expression, and therefore comfort, affect the character in question. And the way you handled it with a character like Kate is so fucking fascinating. And CRAZY LIKE I WAS NOT EXPECTING THEM TO COME BACK????? The way I gasped (perfect halfway cliffhanger btw). I'm not sure how much you're planning on carrying this particular storyline over to TGU season 2, but wow, either way this was so gut wrenching in the best of ways. I adore Toy, how they feel so protective of Kate. The scene where Kate breaks down was just beautiful, especially Toy's handling of it. That lingering, comfortable silence that settles between them as they hold each other just... brought a tear to my eye. And the part where Toy is concerned about Kate wanting to be touched by them so soon after her recent assault was an amazing addition. And the fact that Kate's comfort is such a priority to them during sex. The anxiety they have to try shaking away, knowing something Wanda and Natasha don't and what that could bring, is so special to me LOL. I hope Kate heals, and if you do continue this plot, I'd be excited to see what you do with it. Especially Natasha moving forward, given her prior reaction.

Speaking of, very happy Natasha finally spoke to Kate. It's so sad that Kate was scared of her, that she probably compared her reaction to her mother's, but I hope she and Natasha can start to work on rebuilding trust again because I love them lots.

Super excited for what you have set up so well with Wanda. I loved the inclusion of the rest of the team; it really helps set up Wanda's distance from the group and Natasha's position in trying to make her see this is bigger than both of them.

And Wanda's confession to Toy!!! My heart!!! It's definitely been a long time coming and I hope Wanda being honest can help her feel more in control of herself. I love the way you've depicted her feelings affecting her and Natasha's relationship, especially with the mirroring from past chapters that Natasha may be developing feelings for Kate. I know Toy loves Wanda too, even if they don't know for sure, and I can't wait to see them come to terms with it. I'm excited for the prospect of what that could mean, and how that could shake or make the dynamic.

I have different views on how it could go, how Kate and Natasha will react to Wanda and Toy being in love. What insecurities that pulls out and what feelings that forces them to recognize, and what that could potentially lead to. I just want them all to LOVE EACH OTHERRR and be HAPPY. And yet I crave the drama and angst LOL.

I just... adored this. It was a fantastic conclusion, I'm so so happy you shared the TGU with us, and I am so thrilled to see what you do moving forward.

Hi my lovely comic non— I have no idea if you’re still around. Or if you have read tgu as of late but I have read this ask so many times and I have kept it as a lil secret between the two of us any time I need motivation to write. But now that I’m officially bringing tgu back for season 2 I want to share your thoughts with the world

Thank you sweets 🩵

Training Grounds Masterlist

Kitmoas | seized within the silk we grew

[variousqueerthings]

okokok I was gonna talk about the structure, but gonna say smthin about ethos instead with structure folded in I guess, which isn't going to be coherent

for me, I can say that ted lasso is not a perfect show (and then I can go on a tangent about there being no perfect shows) and also that actually comedy isn't my favourite genre anyway and include there that I think that it couldn't always balance the comedy, sincerity, and the reality it was attempting to challenge, especially in s3 -- I think an egregious example was rebecca talking about the love of football to a bunch of billionaires, it just stretched too much disbelief and therefore came off less as a natural development and just out-of-nowhere preaching

but then I was having a good time peeking into a little of rupert and rebecca's past relationship when it did work, and it being a scene that makes her able to let him go entirely (and generally I am fine with taking the good out of the bits that don't overall work for me)

anywhomst, there are things, and it also plays into the oddity of s3 not being two seasons (which I had been so sure was going to be the structure, and I was right to think it might not work out and seriously, are they covering up that it was cancelled, conspiracy unlocked)

there were a few things that happened very quickly and weren't explored in the writing (ex. jamie's dad going to rehab, nate making up with his dad after one talk and generally some nate things in s3, part of keeley's narrative in s3, etc.), which was a problem of structure rather than ethos in my opinion. there's story to be explored there, as there is in a fair few things that came and went too quickly on this show, which tbh I'm sure fanfiction can cover (except for the womens team feat. trent crimm show, that needs to happen On My Screen!)

it has gaps in how it can make the points it wants to make -- I've mentioned that in terms of romance too -- but it really really wants to make them nonetheless, flaws and all. it wants to tell the story about a man with mental health issues, who's scared that he'll fuck up his son in the way his dad's suicide affected him, who runs away and finds himself coaching a London football team of men who grow to be better with each other and the world beyond, and its vehicle is football, an intensely international and adaptable sport, with so much fluid potential for expression!

along the way it comes across limitations (either in the amount of time it has to tell the story or in the lack of in-depth knowledge I presume the creators have in radical kindness and community healing politics and philosophies and how they intersect with queer intersectional concepts), but it's made the story despite them, with all its messiness and it ends well. characters heal, start their attempts to heal, continue their journeys to help others around them

I cannot stress enough either how messy league football is, the level that this fictional team plays on. as someone who's been directly affected by the exclusionary ideals that are promoted by the FA it was good to see this fantasy, it was exhilarating to imagine this kind of change happening at that level in the way I have experienced it happening at grassroots levels. its subject matter is so in need of more of this, I hope it inspires more stories with the same core ethos, and I hope these go further and further with its radical ideas

colin kisses his boyfriend at the end! would I have loved to have seen more time to get to there, to have seen it folded into an arc about challenging homophobia in football at an institutional level, to have also had him apologising to nate for his bullying as part of toxic masculinity masking his homosexuality? all of these yes. do I appreciate what the show wants to do here about something that is barely beginning to be properly challenged in reality? yeah yeah yeah!

any of the gaps I think one can play with in fandom, and if that show about the women's team gets made we gently slide them some bell hooks and get megan rapinoe involved somehow

[overlooked-gems]

A Look At Stuff You Probably Never Heard Of: Digimon World -next 0rder-

As I’ve previously mentioned, I’m a huge fan of Digimon. I saw the original 01 and watched all the way to Frontiers, skipped Data Squad, and saw Fusions (until the dub was cancelled). To me, I enjoyed Digimon about as much as Pokemon. So today, we’ll be taking a look at... Digimon World -next 0rder-!

Digimon World -next 0rder- is an E10+ rated and was developed by B.B. Studio and published by Bandai Namco. It was initially released only in Japan on March 17th, 2016 for the PlayStation Vita. It later got re-released for the PlayStation 4 a year later on January 27th in Europe, January 31st in North America, and February 26th in Japan,. And it saw a Nintendo Switch and PC release everywhere on February 22nd of 2023.

The story follows the player character, Takuto (male)/Shiki (female), being a third-year high school student. One day, they find themselves being transported into the Digital World, where they meet their Digimon Partners, WarGreymon and MetalGarurumon. Together, they fight a Machinedramon, eventually being forced to DNA Digivolve to Omegamon (otherwise known as Omnimon) to beat it. They end up using all their power and die as a result while the Machinedramon turns into a Tokomon.

The Hero and the Digimon are then teleported to a place known as Floatia, where they meet Jijimon, who explains that Digimon Partners can be reborn. There, the player can choose what their Digimon can be reborn into. Jijimon explains that for some reason, Digimon are being transformed into rampaging and destructive Machinedramon and is trying to figure out why and how to stop it, asking the Hero’s help, as they were able to defeat a Machinedramon. At the same time, he asks them to help search for the residents of Floatia who have fled as a result of the attacks.

After some time, they meet up with two other humans named Kouta Hirose and Himari Oofuchi, as well as their partner Digimon, Yukimura the Guilmon and Rikka the Salamon, respectively.

The gameplay follows an open world RPG style. The player is free to explore and find materials with battles being initiated on contact with an enemy Digimon. In battle, the player doesn’t take direct control of their partners. Instead, the Digimon do their own things, attacking and dodging on their own, though the player can command them to perform a specific action, though this costs “Order Power”. The player can raise their Order Power by pressing the Support button at any time, though more is gained the closer the button is pressed when an attack (either by a partner towards an enemy or an attack by an enemy towards a partner) makes contact. By pressing the Left or Right bumpers, the player can bring up the options for the Digimon; use specific attacks or Defend. At the end of a battle, the Digimon don’t get EXP. Instead, they get an increase to their stats. Similarly, the player can also increase their stats at the Floatia Training Hall.

However, time flows outside of battle, as eventually, night will fall and the days will pass. Depending on how much time has passed and what a Digimon’s stats are, they can Digimon to a higher form. Digivolution itself has several branches, as one Digimon can possibly Digivolve into multiple other Digimon. For example, an Agumon can Digivolve into Greymon, Tyrannomon, Meramon, or BlueGreymon.

However, the game is also part pet simulation; at times, a Partner Digimon has a need that has to be met. Either having to use the bathroom, having to be fed, or healing them when they get sick or injured. Failure to properly care for the Digimon leads to Training Failures and can eventually lead to death. A Digimon can also just die once they reach the end of their Life or if they fail to reach any requirement to Digivolve. Regardless, the Digimon will die sooner or later and when they do, they’ll simply be reborn so the player can choose what they’ll be reborn as.

Once again, it’s time for the Final Recommendation: Never Let Go Of It||Get It||Hold Onto It||Try It||Consider It||Stay Away From It

The game is a fairly entertaining game. You can explore the Digital World, fight Digimon, and recruit Digimon to return to Floatia. As you do, more of Floatia becomes available to you and at certain points, the story can progress. Yes, bringing Digimon to Floatia allows you to progress the story.

And as fun as the combat and exploration is, when a Digimon dies, their stats basically reset when they’re reborn, so you’ll have to spend time training to get them back up to speed. It’s also worth noting that the Training Hall takes an hour of in-game time when its used.

However, while I previously mentioned that Digimon can’t get EXP, the player does, gained in a number of ways; including battles, but there are other ways. As the player gains Tamer EXP, they can level up, where they gain Tamer Points, allowing them to unlock new abilities, like Digimon keeping more of their stats when reborn or Digimon regaining HP and MP when walking.

Speaking of exploration, the player can also collect materials such as wood, liquids, metals, and wood. These materials are used by the Builder in Floatia to build or upgrade various buildings and facilities, making them more effectient.

I also want to mention that the game also has voice acting. Not just voice acting, but English voice acting, a rarity for the Digimon games. I bring this up because Richard Epcar, Mari Devon, and ben Diskin are brought back and reprise their roles from the anime. Richard as MetalEtemon (Digimon Adventure 01), Mari as Taomon (Digimon Tamers), and Ben as Shoutmon (Digimon Fusion). However, a common complaint is how the characters pronounce “Machinedramon”. Anyone who has seen the anime know it’s pronounced as “muh-SHEEN-druh-mon”, but the characters in the game pronounce is as  “muh-sheen-DRAY-mon”. Though I heard the reason for the pronunciation change is become Japanese staff involved with the development of the insisted on having the English voice actors pronounce it that way.

Oh! And before I forget, it’s also possible to DNA Digivolve, but it has a few requirements. Mainly the bond between you and your Digimon have to be at 100, as in your Digimon must have a 100 bond with you, as well as each other. They also have to be at least Champion and it costs 150 OP to perform. Needless to say, a DNA Digivolution is incredibly powerful. However, it can only be performed once a day. But once you get Paildramon, you can get a fused Digimon as a partner, provided the two partners are compatiable. For example, if you have a LadyDevimon and Angewomon, you can get a Mastemon, which replaces fills the slot of one of your two partners while the other De-Digivolves to their Rookie state.

And one final thing, there is one character I want to mention. I won’t say his name, but if you’re a fan of the Digimon World series, you may recognize him. He’s grown and matured quite a bit, but still cares about Digimon. Understandable, being a former hero himself.

And with that, I’ll see you all next month!

[northerngoshawk]

3, 18, and 29 for ao3 wrapped!

thanks for the ask choco!

3. What work are you most proud of (regardless of kudos/hits)?

would it be cheating if i had a series i'm proud of? lol

to date, i would consider my Katara-centric series i don't know who i am (but i won't stop trying) my magnum opus. it is my pride and joy in fandom, and honestly i don't think i could ever top this masterpiece of a series lol. i feel like the central themes of colonialism, assimilation, and cultural genocide are themes that aren't really explored in the atla fandom as a whole, and as self-deprecating i am about my fics, i really do think those themes shone through in my series.

i am especially proud of the first fic in the series, teach me how to live my life (because I can't remember how). it was a very emotionally charged fic that was written at the right time with the right feelings, and of the few things i did purposefully in that fic, i'm proud of the cyclical structure, how it began with Katara listening to stories from the SWT myths from her mother and ended with her listening to the few myths Aang remembers from Gyatso's telling him. I'm just really amazed at how well it turned out, and honestly it would be very, very hard for me to top this fic.

18. The character that gave you the most trouble writing this year?

Hakoda. most definitely Hakoda. i wrote him for these sleepless nights we spend (waiting to come home), my very recent Hakoda adopts Aang fic I wrote for @itsmoonpeaches. and boyyyyy that was a doozy.

i think part of the reason is that i never really thought about Hakoda much as a character, considering we don’t really get to meet meet him until end of Book 2, and even then, we only see him a few times afterwards. another part of it might be that Hakoda isn’t as relatable to me as the Gaang (aka Aang lol) so as a result, i had a more difficult time slipping into his mind.

when i sat down to write this fic, i had to think a lot about Hakoda’s grief and how the war affected him. i wanted his grief to entwine with Aang’s as the basis for why he chooses to adopt Aang into his family, because both of them have lost too much to the war (but really, they all have), and in that loss, they find each other and pick up what’s left to keep going. i drew heavily from other sources to make sure i was able to characterize him properly, including two of peaches’s fics, which were Mark of the Living and Snow Drifts, which i highly, highly recommend to anyone who wants Hakoda-centric works.

it was definitely a rough start, getting this fic off the ground, and it didn’t come as naturally to me as my other fics did. i would say i’m relatively satisfied with how the end product turned out, however, and i really do think we need more Hakoda-centric works in fandom that deals with his loss and grief but also hope and rebirth😌

29. Favorite line/passage you wrote this year?

this is the final passage of my platonic zukaang fic dreamless dreams!

That night, he dreams of life.

He dreams of a grassy hill, under the shade of a tree, where he and his friends are laughing as they picnic. He dreams of Aang's brilliant smile, of Katara's laughing face, of Sokka's quips and Toph's crude retorts and Mai's slight smile. He dreams of kids being kids and learning what it means to live.

And then he dreams of towering temples that glisten a brilliant white in the midday sun. He dreams of children in Air Nomad clothing running around the courtyards, laughing as they play airball or ride air scooters. He dreams of flying bison and winged lemurs that circle around the temples, of airbenders gliding alongside them.

Every night, he dreams, and he dreams of hope.

i’m just really proud of this passage because it circles back to the beginning of the fic, when Zuko dreams of his blood family and the genocide of the Air Nomads, dreams that are filled with suffering and hopelessness and death. However, by the end of the fic, after Zuko learns to heal and forgive himself thanks to Aang, he begins to dream of his true family, his found family, and the rebirth of the Air Nomads.

I also really love this passage because the Air Nomad section can be interpreted one of three ways: you can see it as a precursor to Legend of Korra, when the Air Nomads indeed come back and Zuko is still alive to witness it; you can see it as Zuko dreaming of the past reborn into the future; or you can see it as him being determined to help Aang bring back his lost people. Either one of those interpretations are valid, and in my opinion, really really beautiful.

ao3 wrapped

[tev-the-random]

HI @tamblerdraws WELCOME TO THE INSANITY CLUB, THANK YOU FOR BEING HERE

There's no way out

Right?? I grew up without many videogames, so I never got to experience the hype of most of these games first-hand back when they came out. But this is like! A mini remaster of a few of them! And it's so beautiful and crafted with so much love! It feels like such a precious gift.

DUDE, DON'T GET ME STARTED! My first ever Sonic game was 06, this guy has been living in my head rent free for over a decade, and now other people get to obsess with him too?? FUCK YEAH??? He's so silly and evil, I really want him to exist–

Not to go on a wild Sonic 06 tangent, but I really do think it would be the game ever if it got remade with actual time and care put into it. I don't think that will ever happen, it's a very dangerous terrain. But in some universe out there, the story gets the appreciation it deserves. Just the fact that there's a small portion dedicated to it in Shadow Generations already vindicates me.

The hub world and the collectables are such a fantastic idea! They aren't completely pointless, as they offer some incredible content, but you don't actually need to pick up ALL of them to unlock something. The branching level design makes for some fun exploration while trying to find the keys, the different kinds of keys makes it easier to know what exactly you're still missing, and the open hub world, with all its tricks and nooks, offer even more exploring to find the chests! The replayability of this game is fantastic and the collectables are the best goddamn snacks a fan could ask for.

YES! YES YES YES! I'm holding these characters so dearly, I missed the good characterisation! Interactions!

We finally get to see more of Maria as a character. She is so precious! And protective! And enthusiastic! Shadow really gets the best sisters. And Gerald as well, I don't think we've ever properly seen him before the whole ARK incident, so his personality has always been a bit of a mystery. It's Shadow's family, man. I love them.

Though this isn't my favourite Rouge voice ever, I still think they manage to strike the balance between sassy and serious pretty well! ALSO ROUGE OFFERING TO TALK TO HIM AFTER THE WHOLE THING IS OVER IF HE NEEDS HER! Her and Omega talking about each other and about Shadow! TEAM DARK MY BELOVED, YOU'RE FINALLY BACK FROM THE WAR-

YES! So many little references (the rival fight cracked me, with both that dialogue from SA2 and that one line from Heroes. Chef's kiss, very fun). Not gonna lie, I thought it was going to be an actual battle, but the cutscene is so well animated, I can't even complain.

AND THE FAKE EMERALD WAS SUCH A GENIUS MOVE! Not only is it a great callback, but it actually plays an important part in connecting the story to the original Generations?? We love to see it. And I mean, we never do find out what happened to that emerald after SA2, so it's fair enough that it would still be on the ARK. Just one of those things I never really stopped to think about, you know?

This game is everything I've ever wanted. The timeline is finally healing. Thank you for engaging with me to talk about it.

I've been biting my desk and scratching my walls over Shadow Generations and NOBODY is crazy enough about it to want to engage with me at this point. Somebody talk to me about it. Tell me your thoughts. Say hi. Rant to me. Please. I am insane.

[misfithive]

I did mean full on sobbing yeah and I think it could happen from all the pent up tension accumulated at some point. But I wouldn’t mind just him crying, shedding tears.

Also thanks for reminding me of that interview 🥲 but I am the eternal clown and I hope he was making things bigger than what they are, especially since he said WE were the ones getting panic attacks from what would happen in s3 💔

Uhhh but imagine a parallel scene to the football field but this time it’s Simon calling Wille 💔

The point is, s3 NEEDS to further explore Simon’s story, both as Wille’s boyfriend AND as his own character. We need to see his healing process at least starting to develop somehow.

And yeah I agree that Wille will def still suffer from anxiety and depression, especially with whatever is gonna happen after the speech and mental health doesn’t get cured in the span of twenty seconds, not even if you get your boyfriend back, so I do expect him to still have attacks. I just don’t want them to be provoked by new stuff bc not only he doesn’t deserve to have to think about other things on top of everything else, but there is absolutely no time. Too much going on for him, he hasn’t even properly mourned his brother yet, he has so much he needs to do, giving him other stuff would be insane and sadist and repetitive as well.

Lol okay idk how likely it is that he will be full on sobbing but i do think he will probably cry.

OHHHHHHHHHH… LOL maybe that is what he meant 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

If simon calls wille like that from the football field i will be the one having a breakdown omg…

Yeah i really hope so also about Simon’s side being shown. I’m getting worried bc it feels like like there isnt enough time to address everything that needs to be addressed with the 6 episodes but im sure they will find a way to make it work. But i think outside of Wille we could see that through how things go down with Micke or even with Sara. That would be kind of interesting. Since Omar said Simon’s grows as a character i believe him and think that will happen somehow with him continuing to think about what his needs are/ balancing his needs and others needs.

I also agree with about not wanting more things that will hurt them but a lot of people seem to think thats just the kind of show we signed up for 😭 so ☹️☹️☹️

I really desperately need them being happy together and supporting eachother even if there is a lot of outside drama. I do not want prolonged fights and them not talking to eachother that would be so frustrating after s2 thats enough. and i hope new things dont come up to mess with them :(( bc also like we are saying there is more than enough already that could give them stress and drama. I guess idk they have to balance tying up the loose ends they created and also have like enough to keep people engaged thru the 6 episodes? Bc sometimes i dont like with final seasons of show when it seems like they are just trying to wrap everything up with a bow. I dont think yr is like that so i guess we will see how they handle everything thats open ended

[livingalifeofasimp]

☘️𝕲𝖊𝖓𝖘𝖍𝖎𝖓 𝕴𝖒𝖕𝖆𝖈𝖙

𝕴𝖓

🎀𝕴𝖘𝖊𝖐𝖆𝖎 𝕸𝖆𝖓𝖌𝖆🎀

You got teleported into a Novel called Love or Hate, where a villianess of an influencing family gets jealous of people around Crown Prince and tries to kill everyone especially his beloved and meets unfortunate death.

𝔽𝕠𝕣 𝕀𝕟𝕥𝕣𝕠𝕕𝕦𝕔𝕥𝕚𝕠𝕟

𝕎𝕒𝕥𝕥𝕡𝕒𝕕 𝕒𝕔𝕔𝕠𝕦𝕟𝕥

Click on the link for more information, If the link doesn't work then please be kind enough to inform me, Thank you💮💮💮

🖤 𝓩𝓱𝓸𝓷𝓰𝓵𝓲

*:･ﾟ♛ ﾟ･:* On getting into the novel as Villianess and not being able to go back to your world you decided to stop going down the path of original Novel Plot but make your own and live a life in luxury away from all the characters. Your first step was to break the engagement with Crown Prince, who was surprised when he heard you say that to him, you were just so in love with him and then after being unconscious for almost a week you decided to break off the engagement.

*:･ﾟ♛ ﾟ･:* Zhongli could not understand why you would do such thing and you knew he will fall in love with the Heroine when she appears, you told your father to annual it, since you understood that the affection holds no value in Crown Prince's eyes, but Zhongli wasn't able to digest this piece of information, when he tries to approach you, you run away, avoid him at any cost, he realizes how important you are to him, so he rejects your request to annual the engagement even after you nearly begged him and promises you that he will cherish you now on, leaving you thinking what went wrong.

*:･ﾟ♛ ﾟ･:* You sat with pen and paper tried to sort everything out, although Crown Prince was trying to win your favor back by sending you gifts, letters and asks for your audience only to get ghosted by you, getting involved with him will give you nothing but a miserable fate, no matter how handsome the Characters are you refused to acknowledge them any further. Now it felt like Zhongli clingys to you more than anything.

💛𝓐𝓮𝓽𝓱𝓮𝓻

ﾟ･:*༻*:･ﾟWhen your carriage stopped infront of your state you saw Aether was there waiting for you, he told you that he heard you were trying to annual the engagement, for a minute you forgot how fast news spread in this era, Aether had a happy glow on his face, he told you that you deserve better. At some point you knew that Aether grows distant from Villianess in Novel Plot but the case here was totally different now he invites you or comes to you uninvited.

ﾟ･:*༻*:･ﾟYou don't stop him tho, he became your bestfriend, he taught you horse riding, sword fighting and helped you in all those things you were interested in. Thanks to Aether your bad dancing got better, you always wondered how he never go tired dancing with you, when you step on his foot unintentionally during practices. Physical touches increases slightly, you don't doubt it since it's normal for friends to hug a second more right?

❤️𝓓𝓲𝓵𝓾𝓬

⋇⋆✦⋆⋇ Since there was nothing better to do, you started to put your hands on family business and was sent to pay visit to the business partner. To your surprise when you saw Diluc, he looked just like the Novel described him to be, stern, stoic and cold. His presence was intimidating but you had to win this opportunity so you confidently placed your views even when your legs were shaking under the gown you were wearing, you put your hands together and pursued him.

⋇⋆✦⋆⋇ Diluc seemed so lonely, he had no one to worry about him, just him and his thoughts. So you decided to greet him with smile and ask about if he ate his meals properly because he skipped them for one or two days due to his loads of work, which was bad for his health, if he needed to fight with Crown Prince for Heroine then he should be healthy, so you took care of him while you were staying in his Mansion.

⋇⋆✦⋆⋇ At first he was wary of you but he eventually warmed up and when Diluc laughed in one of your jokes, you felt grateful to witness that because no one saw him smiling other than Heroine, he looked really beautiful. He said you were way too different than what the rumours described you to be, you were perfect. 

💚𝓧𝓲𝓪𝓸

✥ ۪۪۫۫◃ ✤◃ ۪۪۫۫✥ Bandits attached your Carriage, it was difficult to defeat them but with your escort and Aether's sword fighting training it became quite easy, even though you are not much of a sword fighter than Aether but you could protect yourself for once. When Crown Prince heard you were attacked he immediately assigned you his Loyal Knight who later becomes Imperial Knight respected by citizens, to which you obviously rejected but as persistent as he is you were made to accept the Knight for the time being since all the knights in your family are either afraid of you or not want to serve you and you had no fetish with working with someone who is not willing to be with you.

✥ ۪۪۫۫◃ ✤◃ ۪۪۫۫✥Xiao was very quite and skilled Knight so he was very attentive to your needs, and once caughted you, when you tripped on your gown while climbing staircase, due to which he got on his one knees and asked for your forgiveness. It left you speechless why would he do such thing? Ask for punishment instead of a thanks for saving your bones, you couldn't help but ask him, Xiao's answer made you clutch your fingers, he thought you, a noble lady would get disgusted by his touch since he is lowly born.

✥ ۪۪۫۫◃ ✤◃ ۪۪۫۫✥ You asked him to stand, Xiao is your favorite character who suffered so much and was never able to voice his love for Heroine, you holded his hands in yours, ignoring his body flinching and told him how he should not look down on himself, he is equal, everyone is equal since you all are humans and that you cherish him, he put his life to protect you. You said him all those things you wanted to when you read the Novel, not everything really but it left him blushing while you laughed walking ahead of him what a tsundere.

💙𝓚𝓪𝓮𝔂𝓪

☽༓✮･*˚ A handsome Mage Master kept on disturbing you, the smug looking guy who you meet in Local bars when you were out exploring about the Novel world, he helped you with your case to find out the solution to obtain the land for the project with Duke while giving you many riddles that exhausted you but seeing a worried Xiao was worth it when he says I don't care after nagging you for hours.

☽༓✮･*˚ You doubted if this guy was the one of the Male Leads who was owner of Mage tower because he was exceptional handsome, for a side Character to be so good looking is quite rare, but he debuted after the Grand ball so it couldn't be him, you debated. In Original Novel Plot they never described how he looked, but it was for sure he was popular among ladies. The guy introduced himself as Kaeya, who sometimes requests your presence in Mage tower, only VIP guest were allowed and when you asked him how he managed to get the permission he says it is one of his ways, suspicious enough.

☽༓✮･*˚ You eventually spend more time with him than required which sometimes anger Aether since your time with him reduced, of course you haven't told anything about him to anyone. To save himself, he once introduced you to the group of women flirting with him as his girlfriend. Kaeya sends his familiar in butterfly form for the most stupidest message through your window to which you react differently depending on your mood. 

"How are you my Lady?"

"Am I allowed to miss you?"

"When will you visit me?"

"Have you been using me all this time?, I am heart broken T_T Heal me!"

🧡𝓒𝓱𝓲𝓵𝓭𝓮

❀⑅*⋆༶⋆❀⑅* Strong hand holded you securely, as you danced with him, who was wearing black laced mask in Masquerade ball organized by King for a yearly festival which you were forced you to attend by your Father and Crown Prince. One of the guys asked for you to dance with him, as per tradition one cannot reject the another requesting party, otherwise you would have been eating the food served for guests, imperial food is on another level, Zhongli sometimes tries to lure you to spend time with him by making such excuses.

❀⑅*⋆༶⋆❀⑅* The stranger pulled you even more closer saying that you are looking much more prettier than before, your first meeting but you did not recognized him or so you thought, and he told you that you are known as the most beautiful woman in the Kingdom, neighboring Kingdoms takes interest in you. You do remember the guy who helped you in fighting with Bandits both of them have the same hair color and playfulness in their voice.

❀⑅*⋆༶⋆❀⑅* When you asked him about it, if he was the guy from before to which he replied maybe, leaving you in the middle of the dance and bended in the crowd, Mysterious as Childe you thought, whoever he was, you hoped for him to not bring more problems than you already have. A groaning voice of Crown Prince from behind made you turn around questioning you why you danced with other guys than your fiance, you never thought a composed man as Zhongli would whine to you for such a small thing.