#they need to teach critical thinking at school but that still wouldn't do anything

[hotgirlmeg]

not surprising how chappell roan has now made two videos explaining what she said (which...if you were smart you would know there was nothing wrong) and people are STILL saying she's a republican/tr*mp supporter...like there is no help for some of you

[mysteriousbp]

The fact that Ceroba looks like his mother is probably one of the reasons he gave her his bandana?

For an actual question, how does kloverko deal with school? Do they have twice the homework? Do they switch out on paying attention in class when one is borde or do the teachers know to make sure they are both attentive? Do they fight over what they want for school lunch?

I know that I made a post saying that I wish that Clover should have given Ceroba something in the UTY ending. But I never said that the post was part of my AU lore. It was just criticizing the ending.

If it was, I would had nedded to make the bandana one of the items in Bratty and Catty's shop, but that would just make it weird having Frisk collect three Clover items while they collect two of everyone else. Or make an explanation for why Ceroba was allowed to keep the bandana while Martlet and Starlo gave away their last gifts from Clover in UTY ending. Which is kind of unfair.

But anyway. The question.

Is none of those things.

Twice the homework doesn't make sense because they would take turns doing the homework because of controlling the body. Whoever would be second in doing the homework would just be able to do what the other did before, taking away any reason to think. To counter that, the professors would need to make two versions of the homework for Kanako and Clover. And that just sounds like extra work.

Switching out if one gets bored just sounds like a bad idea because they would need to teach each other at home the parts that they miss. That is just more work than paying attention in school.

And the teachers making sure that both are paying attention is just impossible... Because only the one that is in control of the body can see the one that is the spirit, and other spirits like Chara can see the one that is the spirit. So the teachers would need to ask Kanako if Clover is paying attention. Which is a bad system because Kanako would need to pay attention to class and make sure that Clover is paying attention. Which would just make Kanako pay less attention to anything.

How it works is that Kanako is the one that is mainly being taught. Clover watches and learns things by being present and paying attention.

Because Kanako is the one that has to learn to study to become an engineer. While Clover is there to have a high school education. They both still work and think together to solve problems and do home work. But when college comes around is when Clover pays less attention. Because Clover is more of a mechanic type. And since they both can't take different courses, is Kanako the one who studies in college. And having two different courses wouldn't matter because they would only be able to work at one job. And having Clover study something that isn't really an area that he likes is just unfair.

So in short, Kanako is the one who pays attention, writes, and does tests. While Clover also pays attention and works together with Kanako to do work and solve problems in high school. In college, Clover is Kanako's emotional support for college life.

Clover doesn't mind this. He just wants his sister to be happy and have her dream profession.

About the luch thing. They are "my parent pack my lunch" kids. And they bring lunch in a lunchbox. Because Ceroba doesn't trust school food.

Before anyone asks, no. They don't fight to decide who eats. In my AU spirits don't need to eat or really get hungry. So most of the time, Clover doesn't really feel like taking control of the body to eat because he doesn't have the cravings to eat from a lack of hunger. He only starts to want to eat stuff when he is already in control of the body and the body wants to eat something.

And before anyone brings up the ghost sandwich, yes, Clover can eat ghost food. It only gives the sensation of eating and nothing more. Many ghosts and spirits just do it because they can, and it feels nice.

[chewyjellycable]

oooo you want to talk about dele on tumblr soo bad ooooooo

I CAN'T BELIEVE I NEVER ACTUALLY RAMBLED ABOUT THEM ON HERE OH MY GOOOD I NEED TO FIX THIS. (Edit: This is a lie I did it once and entirely forgot about it. There's a lot more info in this one, though feel free to check the other one even if there's repeat information!!)

Anyways here's a list of things about Bredele de Cassonade I think y'all should know (with many accompanying links):

Bredele is intersex (designated AFAB though), and (kind of) identifies as Agender! They use They/He/Zem, but are fine with any other pronouns. It doesn't matter if you use masc, fem, or androgenous terms for them!!

Unlike Langue, they found their identity very easily since they really didn't care what they aligned with. It all felt silly to them. Langue would dog on them about not being "girly enough", but even then they didn't feel like a ""real girl"" (their body always functioned oddly due to being intersex), so! They're not!

They like growing their hair out and letting their facial hair grow in, but they rarely get to do that because of work. They did have longer hair in their school years before they chopped it off for the sake of their job. They let their stubble grow in when they're on vacation, though!!

Though when it comes to relationship, they CANNOT for the life of them figure out what they like. They last assigned themself to be asexual and androromantic, but even they're not sure. It's hard for them to decipher a lot of things emotionally, especially relationships with others.

They currently hold ""possible relationship interest"" in Milk, Espresso, and Cream Cheese Tea.

Their pet is called Ditzboard, who's a ditzy little thing who trip and falls and does all manner of clumsy things but never drops its documents!!

Autism. They bit things as a child and still do sometimes when under stress. They get overstimulated, they hate the sound of their own heartbeat, they have specific tastes in food and textures, they have shutdowns (and meltdowns), they don't understand social cues very well outside of what they've had to teach themself... They also do a lot to themself to make themself feel ALIVE, though I won't specify what here.

They've held an interest in doctors since they were a kid. Hell, as a kid their favorite game series was Trauma Center. Much like how Langue played Ace Attorney when they were younger. :] Both DS games!! I like to think they shared a DS as kids.

Dele also has a keen interest in blood. It may be morbid, but they love thinking about it. It's not that they'd harm anyone for it, absolutely not, but the red fluid is something they think about and it fascinated them endlessly. They'll be bleeding and think of the blood and how it will clot and what it looks like on his skin whilst treating the injury. (They also don't have many to talk about this interest in for obvious reasons.)

Despite their visual differences, Langue and Bredele do get mistaken for each other sometimes!! Dele gets flattered, Langue gets offended.

Dele is ONE inch taller than Langue, and was born moments after Langue was. The lawyer SEETHES at the fact that Dele is better in ANY capacity. Langue will take anything they can get to prove they're better than him.

Langue's jealousy runs deep. Being the louder and more emotional of the two, they're one of Dele's worst critics. They'll lie to zem, bicker with zem, but at the end of the day they're siblings and Dele wouldn't give that up for the world. Langue, however... It's hard to say if they'd truly give up much for zem.

Bredele has learned mending magic from the spare few times they've visited Parfaedia. He's not very magically gifted, so he'll take what he can get!! Besides, it's very useful for equipment (and Langue's glasses when those crack and break too much to reform quickly).

They think Dasani Bottled Water is very unhealthy compared to other types of water bottles due to the lies Langue has told him.

BACK ON THE EMOTIONAL PROCESSING. Dele cannot cry. Well, they CAN, but it's very hard for them to. They can go through the world ending and there's only a chance that they could. A lot of negative emotion just gets numbed out and they can't express it unless it just gets to be Too Much, and even then it's just. So. Difficult. At a younger age, they were called a monster for being so "emotionless".

[shoujoboy-restart]

But is that your opinion or a fact? I guess the whole thing surrounding BLM and PragerU has me very confused since everyone else says some things about them and that they are not actually a university and then there's the fact that it's founder Dennis Prager said something that he thinks nothing wrong with indoctrinating children. Is that being taken out of context because every school's kind of does the same thing about schools teaching students to hate white people while being gay supposedly or is there some disagreement I'm not understanding?

it kind of feels like it's going to lead into that whoever I'm listening to are idiots and don't know what they are saying even though I can't just simply call everybody who thinks BLM and the civil Rights movements are somehow terrorist groups. It's like saying voting for DeSantis or Trump is better than Biden and everybody else is just fear-mongering about them even though I haven't been hearing good things about the Republican candidates and if we say something about Biden in the whole issue surrounding his son, honestly I'm starting to feel like the Hunter Biden stuff is too overhyped and I don't really think Joe Biden is involved in whatever dealing his son is involved as I'm not hearing anything major coming out of it and the Republicans are seemingly more focused on that then the sexual allegations against Biden or his whole deal with the classified documents which hasn't been brought up at often by either side. It's all Hunter this Hunter that and his father is involved in some crooked scheme needs to be impreached.

Let's go by parts.

My opinion is that Prager U uses of real and valid criticism of the organization calling itself BLM to attack people who are fighting against police brutality and racism, it is a fact the org BLM is a profit seeking with many of their CEOs having millions in their banks while not helping, the same way it's a fact that 94% of protest associatied or connected to BLM peaceful and the other 6% are still unfound on whether the violence and chaos was actually caused by protesters since there been multiple cases of confirmed infiltration by far-righters and cops.

I mean if the dude says "indoctrination bad" but then straight up says "actually indoctrination based" because it's for what he believes then ain't really much context that can save that lol most of the crying about "indoctrination" complaints are parents of highschoolers mad they can't obcessively control everything their child do and having a panic attack over the idea their kid won't be a carbon copy of them, I'm sure leftist parents do that as well but conservative ones actually demand their entire state to uphold that.

As a whole the Hunter Biden situation is just...pointless? Oh no, the son of a politician is a druggie and pays for prostitutes...and? Arrest the asshole or not for all I care, they are trying to claim that somehow this would have swayed peoples voting, It is republicans trying really hard to scrape the bottom of the barrel for reason to impeach Biden or attack his image, when as your self pointed out there enough to do just that, but again, since Trump also has allegations and shit.

Also I'm pretty sure the reason why Biden isn't being prosecuted and investigated for documents is because he actually did everything he should have done and the documents were literally a handful of documents in a safe, but on that I could be wrong, while Trumpie literally had boxes on top of fucking boxes in every corner of his damn home for some reason, together with multiple of the documents being classified, which as president at the time he could have just declassified them so it wouldn't be as much of a issue.

But if you want my advice as someone who used to be a anti-sjw? I didn't even stop being one at first because of how factually wrong the whole ideology was, is because almost every figure head I followed was becoming actual neo-Nazis, turning out to transphobic and homophobic while using gay and trans people as shields, constantly getting caught bold face lying(Blaire white) or just grifting as "apolitical" while having nothing but praises to the most extreme right wing lobotomites out here. Steven Crowder was having a 50 million contract and a extra 1 million whenever needed to just attack trans people 24/7, a lot of right wing content is unironically just corporate backed propaganda to regress society, the entire fox news teams was exposed for admitting they thought Trump and his supporters were loonies and that "election fraud" narrative is just bullshit they started talking because another right wing channel was syphoning their viewers whenever they said something like "Trump isn't a god and he made mistakes" in their lawsuit brought by Dominion.

I'm not saying you need to become luxury communism that believes in a 100 genders, but genuinely, the grift within the right is real, at least when leftists say some crazy shit, you have 90% they actually believe in what they are saying, while a right winger is probably just saying the shit to gain a chance of being employed by the likes of Prager.

If you want a really good channel to teach you some rhetoric and how to catch people saying shit without foundation I really recommend Mia's Rhetoric, she's not a bleeding heart leftist or anything, she's very progressive obviously but because of her knowledge in rhetoric she's really good at deconstructing arguments from fallacies to how people signage affects them, linking this video in specific to topical obviously.

[acreepywholockian]

I grew up with a special ed teacher as a mom and she knew both she and I had ADHD. I was a pretty typical case and won't get into symptoms now, but I was diagnosed as a kid and read lots of books my mom got on the subject and even knowing that, I grew up thinking I was less-than for being the way I am. I missed some symptoms and thought they were character flaws I had to fix. I didn't know they were symptoms and during this critical time (11-14 years old, about) I wasn't seeing a counselor or anything because I tried it and didn't like it back then. same with medicine at 13- I didn't think it helped so I didn't use it. by high school I knew myself well enough to push myself through classes but knew it was different and harder for me than it was for others. I was told at age 12 when I asked for extra help due to ADHD, "we all have a little ADD, you don't need help. that's just an excuse," so I never brought it up in school again until late college when my counselor actually helped me cope, recommended medicine, and overall acknowledged my experience and suffering. that 50 year old man cried when I talked about some of the things I went through, and the worst things were nonlethal car crashes, so it wasn't some huge terrible abuse, he was just a man who cared about my story and wanted to help me cope and be someone I could rely on.

when I see similar ADHD symptoms in others, I make sure to point them out and say they may want to look into a diagnosis. how do these assholes think that happens? not everyone sees a counselor for unrelated reasons and then the counselor/psychiatrist sees symptoms and diagnosed them. some people want help but don't know where to look. they see the symptoms online and wonder if they have it. it's natural and may lead to self-diagnosis sometimes, but wouldn't it be better if more kids didn't grow up thinking they're failures and are instead just different from the norm, but so similar to a huge group of people?

this just strikes me as "kids can't know they're a different gender at that age! they can't be trans!" like no, they know themselves better than you know them. you may be a mental health professional but you don't intimately know these people as well as they know themselves, so who are you to say their curiosity and opinions aren't valid? to an extent, most ADHD symptoms are just symptoms of being human, but taken to an extreme, which could be why so many people relate when they likely don't have it. but some people watching will see that and think "maybe I do have this; maybe someone can help me with this and I can feel less terrible about myself." why is that so wrong? especially with the prohibitive cost of healthcare in America- who can afford a psych to evaluate them? who can afford one of the 2 autism specialists in your state that can see you, but they're booked for 5 years? is it ok to self diagnose then? why isn't it ok to get resources and help, even if it turns out you were wrong? the studying skills I developed myself without acknowledging my ADHD are still typical ADHD strategies, like body doubling, which I called "study energy" for like 5 years until I learned that term from the internet. no one taught me these strategies so I played to my own strengths to survive and now I'm a tutor so I teach em to kids with or without ADHD, doesn't matter. I've used strategies I looked up to help with dyslexia on kids who I suspected but still don't know of a diagnosis. it's not wrong, this 7 year old didn't look up the symptoms to fake so if give them more attention and resources. do psych majors really think that's more likely than someone thinking about it for years and wondering if maybe they have a disorder and not a character flaw? hearing this shit will just prevent them from seeking care. what assholes

a while ago i attended this lecture on autism. guy in the audience said he had many of the symptoms that were presented and asked what should he do to get treatment and possibly a diagnosis. instead of answering his question the psychologist went on a tangent about how “the clinic reigns all powerful over guesswork”, and how actually it has become a trend amongst little children on the internet to claim that they are autistic for cool points, and that this hurts real autistic people. no she didn’t tell him how to get his symptoms looked into, she just made it very clear that to her, aknowledging your own symptoms is bad and evil and hurts the poor real mentally ill people.

an ex-friend of mine, then a psychology major and by now probably a full psychologist, once lectured me on how horrible and bad it was that i told her “i probably have some sort of neurodivergency”, and that if i were her patient she would never give me a diagnosis because “you aren’t like this now, but i know that if you get a diagnosis you’ll use it as an excuse to start treating people badly. that’s just how mentally ill people are.”

same ex-friend was extremely disgusted when she found out that fans sometimes make neurodivergency headcanons for characters that have the same symptoms as they do, and that authors sometimes write books with neurodivergent protagonists in stories that don’t focus on that (ex: she seemed horrified that percy jackson has adhd?)

multiple psychologists i’ve seen on facebook agree that they should refuse to treat patients that say “i’m here because i have symptoms of a disorder and wonder if i have it”, and that a patient should arrive to a psychologist as a blank slate.

school psychologist asked me how i was feeling about my trauma situation and i told him i thought my friends would leave me. instead of addressing the issue he said that that no i didn’t, that i was lying, that i had searched “bpd symptoms” online and now i was faking symptoms because i wanted to have bpd, that he shouldn’t have told me he suspected i had a personality disorder because now look what was happening. no, i didn’t search bpd symptoms online. yes, my friends left me, it was a completely founded belief and not a symptom, let alone a faked symptom.

so the next time you hear someone saying they’re “anti self-diagnosis” i want you to understand what they’re saying. what they’re saying is:

- i don’t want people to be aware of their own symptoms

- i don’t think my patients should have access to any information that doesn’t come from me

- i don’t think neurodivergent people should learn how to cope with their symptoms and live “normal” lives

- i think neurodivergent people should be denied a diagnosis because the moment they get one they will become evil and dangerous

- i don’t think people who don’t look like a stereotype could possibly be neurodivergent, even if they have all the symptoms, so i think they are faking it for attention and should be denied treatment

[dismotivatedwriter]

Y'know,

maybe I shouldn't even try creative writing. Maybe I should just try ranting for long hours instead. I've always been afraid. I've always been afraid of speaking my mind in anything, maybe I should just pour out 24 long years of what I think is wrong with the world, maybe that would unblock my creativity? I tend to think things are wrong the way they are, but heck, I'm not a genius to give out other solutions for it, I'm just good at finding flaws.

Every time I gathered the courage to go and bash something I thought wrong, I was highly criticized for it. In the beginning I'd always suggest a better solution, which was often seen as childish. Of course, I didn't have enough studies back then, and being honest I still don't, I dropped out of school and got my degree via a ridiculous govt test in my country, it's stupid.

I think schools are wrong the way they are. I support feminism, but I don't like where it is going in some areas. I support LGBTQIAPN+ yet even in the community i find some minor flaws. I absolutely hate a lot of shit men do, I'm not a radfem, neither a defensor of cis het males doing whatever they please and fucking up in the ways they often do, but hell, were men in general in a better headspace they wouldn't do half the shit they do, and same works for most of the humanity!

Racism, wars, cis-het fuckups, radfem fuckups, LGBTQIAPN+ fuckups, political/economical fuckups, relationship fuckups, damn, more than half that shit wouldn't even exist if people were a bit less hurt and a bit more empathetic.

Everyone has their own pain, their own childhood wounds, relationship wounds, wounds caused by life in general, everyone has their own shit, if you put aside your own shit for half a second and not go into defensive mode just a little bit you can get where they are coming from.

OF COURSE, IT DOESN'T EXCUSE THEIR WRONGDOINGS, yes, I know. But it points at a deeper reason, a deeper cause, a root, and it is only going out of defensive and into empathy that we're able to look at said wounds and root causes in others, and maybe that'd shed some light onto how to stop that from happening, on wether people who are already in a radical stage in some ideology can still change and be saved from radical behavior just by healing themselves.

"It's not my job to try to change people, they won't change" INDEED, it's not ur job, it's no one's job, no one can do that full time, specially because everyone has their own wounds, YOU HAVE YOUR OWN WOUNDS, and then you do a lot of effort to heal on your own, and you do heal, and you go near the same type of people who hurt you again and guess what? Your wounds reopen, they trigger you.

And there's yet another point in that, they have to want to heal as well for it to work, they have to be willing to change, they need to have their own mind open for change to be able to happen in first place, they need to put their pain aside and empathize with those who they hate first and then look at their wound and realize their hatred is justified by their experiences yet unfair to everyone other than the specific person who caused them.

It feels like a loosing game, a lost cause, a never ending war.

In reality, it's all a damn puzzle, a enigma, waiting to be solved.

How to get people to stop themselves from hating others?

How to get people to heal and not have their wounds reopened all the time?

How to get people to be able to feel empathy and compassion for others, even with completely different struggles?

How to get people to understand that every time someone acts or speaks with hatred they're speaking from their pain no matter how unreasonable it may seem, and how to get the people who are speaking from their pain translated into hatred that they're only hurting other people who will turn into people who spew more hatred cause they'd be again speaking from pain? How to teach them all to empathize and listen without being triggered? How to get them all to heal?

All the wounds and hatred are tied to eachother, some kinds of those come from old political affairs, old societies, others from religions, others from the enviroment they were raised in, others from violence they suffered, it's a massive intricate web of pain and wrongdoings stemming from history itself, how to get all that people to heal?

How to get all that people to stop hurting so that they can stop hurting others?

I might be some sort of Freud, mirroring my own personal things into worldwide dilemas chalking it up to human nature and assuming it applies to everyone, or I might have caught onto something that makes sense, I don't know, I have no idea.

What I do know is that right now on a world wide level we have people struggling with their own pain, we have groups of people fighting eachother due to ideologies and their personal motives to engage in these fights. For some is race, for others it's gender, for others it's minorities as a whole, for others it's politics, for others it's history. They all have heavy studies in each of their areas, they're all working with statistics and numbers and the whole big picture, they're all far more educated than myself.

I'm nothing other than a uneducated observer, who has their own pain, who feels compelled to stand up for certain people, who feels compelled to hate certain people, who tries to stop themselves from feeding hatred and trying to empathize and ffs how hard it is to in fact empathize with those who are in the wrong, I feel how hard it is. How exhaustive it is as well, how exhaustive is the fact that in the last couple centuries people have been fighting the same battles and even though they get advances it seems that all those wars are never over, never ending, it feels hopeless at certain times.

People get reduced to tags, numbers, titles (in example, "minorities", "radfems" "trans people" "X nationality" "Race A, B or C"), I'm talking about everyone here, both the oppressors and the oppressed, they're all getting reduced to "parties" while there is still the individual level. They all have pains and they all gotta work through their own issues, they all could use help from people, both from people who go through similar stuff and from people who are against them.

It feels like for all of those to be solved, it'd require collective effort from both parties to work through their own root causes, their differences, their pains, and while they're all in pain and with emotions such as hatred being let loose on the other side uncontrolled, no definitive solution will ever be achieved.

The best analogy I can come up with to explain my point are couples with troubled relationships. They build resentment which can turn to hatred real quick, they forget they're on the same team (we're all human and no one wants to feel hurt), they feed their own resentment and turn against eachother. Both have to heal from their past, have empathy and compassion with their partner, both have to be willing to do their part and put in the effort. Both need to learn how to communicate.

To me, it feels like that can apply to any social issue, war, political issue, economical issue, you name it, the United Nations is like a huge poly couple trying to do couple's therapy amongst themselves while some have already checked out emotionally from this relationship and others are still in too deep in their own hatred to add productively to that exchange. The thing is this affects millions of lives worldwide, the impact is huge and it mustn't be taken lightly.

That's humanity's major enigma, puzzle, issue, you name it: Achieving peace, enlightenment, equality, equity, justice, empathy, etc in a actually fair way without hatred, resentment, ill-will, greed, power struggles, manipulation, etc. IN ALL LEVELS, from personal relationships, day-to-day interactions, nation-wide issues, or global problems.

It may be impossible, it may be possible, all I hope for is that someday a genius be born and find a way to fix it in all levels so we can live in a utopy, even if in the current scenario it's totally unrealistic and farfetched.

Finally, I got one of my opinions on huge polemics out of my chest in 24 years of life, publicly, no matter if I'll be crucified for it or not.

I'm just a uneducated observer, sharing my maybe naive thoughts, in a rather childish and over-empathetic way, from the bottom of my non-confrontational people pleasing heart. Idk what sort of feedback I'll get for this, Idk how tf y'all gonna react to it, I'm just glad I got this off my chest.

If this is right or wrong, doable or not, offensive or not, that's up for y'all to decide.

[frenchly-anxious]

I'm sorry for the fact I'm going to rant again about ladies figure skating but I am oh so mad.

I just learned about Evgenia Medvedeva ending her figure skating competitive career and even if I can't say it was a surprise, I'm absolutely sick in the stomach when I read that she now has what could be a permanent, chronic back pain, because her spine grew/fused in a way that makes her unable to turn to her left. Something that started giving her trouble 4 years ago, at 18.

She hasn't stopped skating, as she does a lot of shows from what I could see. But really, really; I am just so angry and so sad. There's this question that kept popping into my mind everytime we learned new things about her and the other Eteri's students: was it worth it?

Was it worth it? The question made me uncomfortable, because who was I to make decision for her? She's an athlete and I'm not. Every athlete makes sacrifices. Maybe she considered and still considers it's worth it.

But then I realized. This question was never directed at her. It was never directed at the skaters. It was never directed at children who had dreams. Was it worth it? It was directed at all the adults around them. For their coachs, I imagine it was. Money, fame, glory, power. Who cares about a few girls scarred for life anyway. But for the judges? The ISU? The parents? The fans? Was it worth it to broadcast children destroying their life? Was it worth it to teach younger children "see, that how you should do it too"? Were those 4min30 of gracefullness worth the fact we encouraged this child to put their health and their whole future life at risk?

This was not a few athletes deciding to risk it all for a few medals. This was a bunch of adults making money by using children.

There's a reason children can't vote, can't drive a car, can't work and can't live on their own. Because they lack the experience, the emotional stability, the critical thinking to make informed choices. It's the adult's responsibility to make those choices during the time it takes children to gains those abilities.

Was it worth it? We can't ask that to those skaters. Because they were never given the chance to really ask themselves "Will it be worth it?" in the first place. When asked "do you want to become the best?", of course a kid who dedicated their entire short life to figure skating will not hesitate. And of course they won't take in consideration the fact it isn't healthy for their growth, both physical and emotional. That's not their job. It was the job of the adults around them.

I'm so mad because adults failed Yulia Lipnitskaya, Evgenia Medvedeva, Alina Zagitova, all the others who didn't make it as far as them, all the others still competing and starting to crumble. And I'm infinitely sick because we the adults keep failing them and all the other children to come. Because nothing changes, really. If anything, it's worse, as we glorify their bright but oh so very brief careers; as we clap for their impressive but incredibly psychologically and physically violent methods of training. You won't convince me telling kids to "stop being obsessed by food and only drink powdered drinks" is a good, normal way to treat anyone, athlete or not. Just like you won't convince me it's normal to have this kind of pathology at 18. You won't convince me either that it's okay for so many skaters of this particular school to go through the exact same pattern without anyone doing anything.

I remember a time when everyone was saying it wasn't good for young skaters, male or female, to do triple-triple, let alone quadruples at such a young age, as it would put too much stress on their growing body. Now we have 15 yo skaters doing what some adults wouldn't attempt and we praise them.

I loved watching them, I really did. But I can't enjoy it anymore knowing what will inevitably happen; what is currently happening.

Who need Squid Game? We have children slowly dying and/or killing each other under the pressure of expectation put on them by a broken system of adults which forgot its protective role for more money and influence.

The saddest part is, I don't think there's anything we can do anymore. I just wish longevity and health were the goal for everyone.

[bondsmagii]

“some of the American suburbs I've seen are honest to god hostile to human life” this…. This articulates what I’ve been thinking about parts of America for a while tbh. And the worst part is most people aren’t even aware of it? Not through any fault of their own but the “America is the Greatest Place on Earth and we Must Save Everyone Else” mentality is so strong that a lot of people honestly believe it? Imagine not being able to walk 5 mins to your nearest food shop? What the fuck? I mean, parts of Essex are shit and built around cars as well but dear God. Another horrifying American thing I’ve been looking into recently is the teaching profession and how the s h i t e working conditions are driving a horrifying teacher shortage that no one seems to want to do anything about? Hospitality staff having to rely on tips to make ends meet is bad enough but needing to take on a second job when you’re a teacher with a master’s degree on top of having to pay for school supplies for your class or make an Amazon wish list… that country is a real-live dystopia ngl. I’m done with the unexpected rant you definitely didn’t ask for lol but that garage post did something to me

yeah, like... obviously I'm not going to sit here and act like this is a strictly American problem because god knows my country has issues too, but these issues combined with the whole propaganda thing? it honestly terrifies me, and I think a lot of Americans don't even realise it's happening -- at least not until they get old enough to get online and learn about how things go in other countries. a lot of Americans are becoming aware of it now, but there are still so many people of all ages who genuinely outright believe or just don't question what's being taught.

I bitch a lot about how American-centric the internet is, and with good reason. I've had Americans say very offensive things to me because of ignorance over basic facts, and I've been accused of lying because I've spelled things "wrong" or stated things that have happened that apparently wouldn't have happened in America. it's frustrating that the mere consideration that I might not be an American doesn't even cross their minds, and it's annoying that I have to censor my own language and dialect so that Americans don't ridicule me or deliberately misunderstand me so they can make stupid jokes. like, this is all valid criticism -- when I'm online, for example, I do not presume that everyone I'm speaking to is Irish. I don't even presume everyone I'm speaking to is American. it seems straightforward to me, but apparently a lot of people out there just don't bother.

however, I know that a lot of this isn't a conscious, deliberate choice to be an ass. the absolutely abyssmal public education in America is partly to blame... and to be honest, the American-centricness that these people grow up with, I think, makes it physically impossible for a lot of them to consider others. it doesn't occur to them because it's never been taught to them. now, if you point it out, and they still keep at it, that's just being a dick. but you can hardly condemn somebody for something they didn't even realise they were doing. they're literally indoctrinated from birth to accept all these absolutely insane things -- shitty public transport, no sidewalks or stores at all in their massive European-city sized neighbourhoods, terrible public education, fucking lunch debt, having to pay for something as basic a human right as healthcare, working for below minimum wage and having to rely on tips, school shootings for Christ's sake -- and because they're also told that America is The Greatest, they assume (and are often outright told) that other countries are much worse. the genuine anger, surprise, and disbelief I've seen from Americans when I've explained how things are in my country is unbelievable. once a person expressed disbelief in a story I told because it centred around the ending up in the emergency room with a friend, and he could not wrap his head around how I wasn't stressed about bills, and why I called an ambulance when technically we could have got a taxi. (hint: I called an ambulance because my friend was in agony, and you know... that's what the ambulance service is for. it never even occured to me to do anything else. at the hospital it turned out she had a broken elbow, so good call, really.) he was absolutely astounded when I told him it cost me nothing. not a single penny. he had been constantly told that socialised healthcare would never work, and when he realised that I don't even notice my taxes coming out to pay for it, he got pissed, wondering why his country couldn't do the same. it's absolutely insane, what American people are forced to live with -- and then they're lied to, straight up, and told that this is the best it gets.

to my American followers, I am so glad you're waking up to this bullshit, but you have got to keep pushing back. the world is watching your country with heartbreak and horror. to many of us, you live in hell. even with my own country's absolute bullshit (and I say this as someone who grew up in a warzone and who is now putting up with the national embarrassment that is Brexit) you could not pay me to live in America. you couldn't even pay me to visit, at this point. sincerely, wishing you a very pleasant revolution.

[a-queenoffairys]

if you're the sort of person who gets upset when anyone says anything negative about jerlita or jeremie, please don't read this post. if you're fine with that and enjoy critical discussion, hell yeah let's go

At the start of the series, everyone believes Aelita isn't human. Although her friends treat her like a human for the most part, there's generally this sense of otherness about the way she understands things. And then she begins life in the real world, and despite all her preparation leading up to it, she's still naïve and needs to rely on her friends to teach her how to get by. Her friends slip up sometimes and treat her differently without thinking about it, or sometimes they have to treat her differently because of what she is (like explaining the difference between human memory and her AI memory). There's this sense that Aelita is less than human, even to the point of Aelita being self-sacrificing, repeatedly being willing to give up her own life in order to save a "real human."

Jeremie is the one who fabricates her new identity, presumably hacking into government systems to get her information on there. And we joke about how he could have gotten the money to pay her tuition, but genuinely, where is the money coming from? Not just for tuition but also for clothes, supplies, decorations for her room - those probably would have been paid for in cash, not a hackable electronic transfer. You could say that the others pitched in and used their allowances to buy those things for her, but does that mean she'll need to keep coming to them when she needs spending money? Regardless, tuition is the big one and Kadic is expensive, so I'd say it's safe to assume Jeremie did some hacking to pay it. Ergo, Jeremie is also in control of Aelita's finances.

Aelita is Odd's fake family but they don't actually know that she exists. She doesn't really have anyone outside the school or her friend group who she can fall back on for help. It's like her same-age friends are her de facto legal guardians.

Then there's Aelita's dependence on Jeremie to keep working hard to free her from Lyoko and XANA. That ties into this idea I've seen over and over that Jeremie is Aelita's saviour, he gave Aelita her new life and she owes him a debt of gratitude.

Like…that's a lot of power he has over her, right? She wouldn't be able to live on Earth if it weren't for him. So then you circle back to that debt of gratitude idea and think about how the one big thing Jeremie would really like from Aelita is a romantic relationship…

So, what if Aelita eventually realises she doesn't reciprocate his feelings?

I'm sure there are a lot of people who would say something like, well he'd be sad at first, but he'd accept her decision and continue supporting her anyway because he does this out of the kindness of his heart, not so he'll get something in return. And if you firmly believe that, that's fine. I wish I could fully believe that too. But what if?

While it's true that Jeremie is indeed sweet and kindhearted a lot of the time, he does have flaws too. He's shown to be jealous and possessive when confronted with the idea of Aelita being with another boy, and on multiple occasions he's been somewhat controlling, trying to dissuade Aelita from participating in hobbies he has no interest in. He usually comes around by the end of the episode, but initially he can be unsupportive and even order her to stay and work on what he wants to do instead. (This gets very concerning when it bleeds over into fandom and you find people who get mad about Aelita disobeying Jeremie even when he's in the wrong, but I digress.) (And that's not to say that Aelita is a flawless person either, she's not the "perfect angel who can do no wrong" some fans see her as, but I'm pointing out some of Jeremie's flaws here because he holds the power in the relationship.)

So I don't think the answer to the question is as cut-and-dry as "he would definitely be supportive no matter how she feels," I think there's at least some room for doubt. Jeremie gave Aelita her new life on Earth and he theoretically has the power to sabotage it if he wants to. When you think about all this stuff, it's hard not to imagine Aelita might be under some sort of pressure to begin a romantic relationship with Jeremie, either out of obligation after all he's done for her, or a perceived need to appease him so he won't take it all away. And I can also imagine Aelita needing to take Jeremie's potential reaction into account and/or needing his permission whenever she wants to make certain life decisions, and that's not great.

It's a complicated issue for sure, since dependent relationships do exist in real life and aren't inherently abusive, and there is that necessity: Aelita wouldn't be able to establish a life on Earth without everything Jeremie has done. It's just concerning when you think of it like, Aelita's future is contingent on Jeremie continuing to be nice to her.

I don't want to minimise Jeremie's efforts or make him out to be a bad person, he has his faults but it's still a wonderful thing he did for Aelita, putting so much time and effort into freeing her from Lyoko and XANA. And these two are very sweet together when they are getting along. But I also don't want to ignore his flaws and act like there's nothing negative about this ship, like they don't butt heads sometimes, like this power imbalance doesn't exist. Ulumi usually gets a bad rep as a "toxic ship" because checks notes they bicker sometimes and are involved in love triangles, but at least they're equals. With Jerlita there's layers of stuff going on and yet I rarely see people talking about it.

girl help I fell down a rabbit hole thinking about the power imbalance inherent in j*erlita's relationship and I can't get out

[dragonbugsuperior]

Something that I've been meaning to say about Miraculous's "Rich Girls".............

Before I even go into this, All you Lila, Chloe, and Kagami stans out there I suggest to skip this post, leave disgusting comments and I'll block and report you because I'm saying it now, that I will be saying some things about Lila, Chloe, and Kagami that aren't really pretty. If you like their characters "Yay!" good for you,

Nobody cares. grow up

So........something has been on my mind lately and I would like to get it off my chest because it's just been stuck in my head and I think it's good if I do make some clear points that clearly people are missing in regards to the show's "rich girls". So Marinette.....has been going through alot this past season and people are saying stupid things like "Oh wE NEeD a NEw LAdyBUg!"

Or "oH MArINeTtE iS teRRiBlE At dOiNg heR jOB!"

Let's dive right into this

I'll start with Chloe first. Chloe bullied Marinette. She has for 7 whole fucking years. Marinette has done nothing to Chloe literally. She hasn't bullied her, talked about her, criticized her, she has done nothing to that girl. But oh! Chloe is some rich snobbish brat that thinks everyone below her should be treated less of a human than she is. Where was her mom when Chlow started to go to school with Marinette? Also Chloe's mom not playing a big part of her life doesn't excuse her terrible behavior and awful treatment she has given marinette and students at her school. Just because her mom is a total snob and shallow person doesn't mean Chloe has to be exactly like her. It's okay for Chloe to express sadness and frustration but what's not okay if for Chloe to lash out all her negativity on Marinette as if Marinette has done something to her. Her parents have really failed her and she has failed herself. She's so full of herself that I'm starting to believe she's delusional. Clinging onto Adrien 24/7 at school like their some type of couple is already mouth-gagging. Like girl, he is not some toy that is all yours and that you can just cling yourself onto. I'm glad Marinette calls her out on her bullshit and handles Chloe's ass and she's not afraid to do so.

And that tacky ass makeup really defeats the purpose because it's makes her look worser than her personality. Tired of these blonde stuck up popular rich girls that think they can just overrule people.

Treating everybody around her like her peasants is clichè mean girl shit. I'm willing to go as far as to say she's a fucking narcissist. Having excessive interest and admiration for herself and treating everybody around her like shit as if she's 10 times more important than they are when in reality she's nothing but a spoiled brat that's jealous because she knows Marinette is better than her.

2nd to last....Lila

Literally 'lie' is in her name. She lies her mouth off and thinks she's fooling every fucking body. Marinette knows damn well she's lying and tells her up to her face in Chameleon. I'm sorry but her lies are ridiculous and the class is so undeniably stupid for believing her bullshit. Yea she's another "spoiled rich girl" her mom is present in her life but we know nothing about her dad. Don't know what happened to him and I don't care to know what happened to him. I know one thing though. Just like in Chloe's case, her dad being absent doesn't make it "okay" for her to be a two-faced person who can pathologically lie to people for personal gain. That's disgusting and weak of a person. She literally frames Marinette and corners her in the bathroom to a wall and pushed herself down the steps to look like she's actually injured. Her fans can try to shed all the light they want on her character but that's never gonna erase all the terrible shit she's done. And once again! Marinette has done nothing to Lila and somehow Marinette is Lila's main target. She lied about her friendship with Ladybug just to impress a boy. Her negativity she's trying to pass onto Marinette isn't working because Marinette is strong and optimistic. I can't believe she had fans, cough looks like a knock-off version of Dora cough. She's so stupid she really thinks Adrien wants to be with someone like her. A liar and manipulative bitch. lol

Kagami.......

"But Jen she's only been a character since season-

Yea I already know how long she's been in the show but that doesn't mean that I'm going to get her the benefit of the doubt. First time she met Marinette she treated her terribly as if Marinette did anything to her. Then again, people like to claim she's from a strict household so that gives her an excuse when it really doesn't. Secondly Kagami in general seems phony, Marinette is trying to be her friend and give up on Adrien just for her!!! and so she can grow as a person!!!!! Kagami chose Adrien over Marinette while Marinette gave up Adrien just so Kagami can have him. Seems like the only reason Kagami really wants to be friends with Marinette is because of Adrien. But let's not get into that.... In Animeastro she acted like she had a problem Marinette was talking to Adrien. I just don't get her at all. One minute she wants to be Marinette's friend (which I believe is completely fake) and then the next she's glaring daggers at her as if she did anything to her.

I don't even want to fucking hear "Oh but Jenny, Marinette didn't confes- SHUT. THE. FUCK. UP. Marinette has tried time after time to confess she's always getting interrupted. Kagami thinks of Adrien like some prize to win all for herself after only knowing him for not too long. Give me a break then she's the one who got akumatized over a fucking picture instead of asking Adrien "hey, what's this?" She got salty and got akumatized. In Frozer, Adrien told her that he had feelings for someone else, she jumped to conclusions and thought it was fucking Marinette and suggested him to "switch targets" he told her he wouldn't and she still pushes him to literally kissing him and then getting mad because he rejected it. Girl! Did he not fucking say that he has feelings for another girl and he won't be switching targets. She's really that desperate that she's telling Adrien to get over that other girl, and she's so fucking desperate she tried to kiss him then got mad when he didn't kiss her back. Let's not forget she literally cut out the fencing class picture and left Adrien and herself out. Then she gave us a little "insight" on how she views Adrien in Oni-Chan. "Image of Perfection" she likes Adrien because he's perfect? That's funny. Because for 1, he's not nobody is and for 2 that's a stupid reason to like somebody. Let's not also forget when she literally lied in Miracle Queen about the villain attacking people in love. She knows Adrien likes somebody else so why is she trying so hard to push into being with her? Desperate much? "We're so alike" and Kagami really believes their soulmates? She should just shut the fuck up. She sounds stupid as fuck. How are you "soulmates" with someone you just met not too long ago. Bless her delusional soul. After he rejected her kiss and only knowing him for 2 seasons. Liiiiike......are you that desperate for a boy. I can't wait to see her reaction to when Adrien dates Marinette. Lmao

It's so funny how all these girls think Adrien's theirs when in reality Marinette is his true soulmate and is gonna end up with him in the end. Adrienette is literally endgame. There's no need for people like Chloe, Lila, and Kagami to get on the way of that. It's also funny how people like to claim Marinette as the possessive one when all these rich spoiled brats have gotten akumatized over him, cling onto him like he's some coat rack, and go out their way to make Marinette feel terrible. And marinette has given Adrien up. The only real clear reason I can see the 3 of them act bitchy towards marinette without a reason would be because they're jealous and don't have the best lives at home and wish to be like marinette.

If I'm not mistaken who's the one that got bullied for 7 years straight and tries her very best to be strong? Who's the one that literally got sexually harassed by Felix? Who's the one who has anxiety? Who's the one who has pressure and responsibilities hunched all over their shoulders? Who's the one that has go around every fucking day to save their city? Oh okay. Everybody always wants to talk about how tough they are without actually going through some real shit. Because I don't recall Lila, Chloe or Kagami going through any of these things while treating Marinette like shit. Kagami is the one that lied to Adrien, Kagami is the one that treated Marinette like crap, Kagami is the one that pushed Adrien after he said he had feelings for someone else /this b*tch didn't even wait/, Kagami is the one that is acting like Lila and Chloe. Let Marinette act like how Kagami did, I'm pretty sure she would've got bashed.

Once they go through all that bullshit then we can chit chat until then, they don't know what struggle is. Spoiled ass brats who clearly don't deserve Adrien because they're immature. They think Adrien's "theirs" they pushed themselves on him as if they can't live without him and they do sneaky shit in order to be with him. Lila and Kagami have clearly showed they would lie to get with him and Chloe does too. Marinette has the courage to let Adrien go, I'm pretty sure if the shoe was on the other foot Kagami would never let Adrien go.

And before people go around saying how it's their parents fault they act do toxically and immature (bc ppl like to give them excuses for their "mommy and daddy" issues) it's really not. Yes, it's partially their parents because they raised them but they also have a big role for their actions. No body is responsible for making Chloe, Lila, or Kagami a better person. No body. Stop putting the blame all on their parents because it's not just the parents I'm pretty sure Tomoe didn't teach Kagami to "lie" in order to get with a boy. Kagami chose to lie to Adrien in Miracle Queen with her own free will. Nobody said "lie to Adrien" Kagami lied that's her fault Nobody told Chloe to bully and belittle Marinette, Audrey is very shallow and brat-like but I don't recall her ever saying "Chloe bully Marinette" Nobody told Lila to constantly lie and manipulate people hell, her mom doesn't even know she's doing it! None of their parents are responsible for certain shit they do so stop pretending like their innocent kids that have horrible parents. I don't have time to analyze if Kagami is like Chloe and Lila or not because I know she is like them she acts just like them. Treats marinette like crap but acts different when Adrien's around. Simple. I tried to give her character a chance in Oni-Chan but after hearing how she views Adrien and how she acted in Miracle Queen I hated her even more than I did before.

Truth be told, Chloe, Lila, nor Kagami are nothing without Adrien. If we're really gonna go there. Their just some pointless characters that want to get in the way of things and can't stay in their places. Marinette made this show, she's the center of the plot, without her their is no Chloe, without her there is no Lila, without her there is no Kagami.

Call me absent-minded but I see alot of jealous hoes and I'm not with that shit at all. Sorry not sorry

[sasodei-is-real]

Good afternoon💙 Well, or just Hello if you have a different time of day 😅💙

Thank you for your answers!)

And I still can’t reply to comments (I don’t know what is wrong), so I’ll answer like this)

@justanotherblonde thank you very much, it's so nice 🥺💙 And I'm glad that it will be interesting for you) Because the topic is actual and worth discussing.

@movethisalong Thanks for the answer!) I will soon work on the text in drafts, I will publish it today)💗

@bodoquehenko Weeell ... it's not directly related. But indirectly, yes. After all, even though Deidara is an adult, he has a big age difference with Sasori. So, for us - Sasodei fandom, this topic is not completely alien. Anyway, in any fandom, this is a very controversial and interesting topic that is worth discussing. As a sasodei shipper, I was asked questions about this topic. I think it would be nice to say my opinion on this issue and put all the points above and. I will talk not only about the general phenomenon, but also about sasodei separately in this topic.

But of course I will continue the analysis💛. This is not even discussed, because it is for this analysis that my blog was invented. But the point is, right now I only have time for one post. And analysis consists of many parts. And if I had written today about Onoki and Gaara (that is, I would have continued the analysis), I would have been able to move on to the next part of the analysis only in two weeks (this is how long my studies at the university will last). And that's not very good. Because although the analysis consists of different parts, the thing is integral. And it is best to read it without long breaks. I already postponed the analysis for a long time because of the uni , and then I did not want to continue again and stop the two weeks between the next part. I thought, since there is only time for one post, why not write about an actual topic that I would still raise and which would fit into one post. And then continue writing the analysis during the holidays and without long delays between continuation in order to maintain integrity.

Well, then the question was whether it would be interesting for you to discuss the topic of the age difference))

As for the ships, I think to talk after a specific stage in the analysis - when we analyze the characters of Sasori and Deidara. That is, the storage of posts turns out to be something like this - 1 question about the age difference 2 analysis where we left off - Onoki and Gaara (Iva and Suna) 3 The next stage of the analysis is Sasori and Deidara's relationship with the rest of the characters 4 Sasori and Deidarf characters 5 Short conversation about crack ships (which is not part of the analysis of sasodei, but what is worth discussing) 6 Philosophy of Sasori and Deidara, the symbolism of their characters 7 FINALLY 😂 Analysis of the relationship between Sasori and Deidara - Sasodei

Thank you for answer ^w^🧡

@deidaraakasuna Yes, I myself really want to move on to their relationship as soon as possible 🤧❤ Yes, they were created for each other. It is obvious.💫💗

And yes. I agree, everyone has the right to ship whatever they want. I am not against any crackships, or ships with questionable context ... well, any. A person's taste is formed on the basis of his lived life and emotions, and this is too personal to criticize.

But. I'm not talking about WHAT they ship, but HOW they raise their ship, for example, how, by substituting facts, they justify their ships.

I will try to explain what I think about this. The bottom line is that Naruto is a very elaborate and fragile story, the essence of which is her philosophy. Naruto has a very interesting build scheme. Recently I talked with my friend, and she noticed that in its structure Naruto is similar to the Russian classic novel "The Master and Margarita" by Bulgakov. And this is so. The bottom line is that there are a lot of characters in Naruto. Each character has its own story, its own psychology, motivation and internal conflict, the solution of which manifests one thought. The character has a conflict, the opposite or controversial side of his conflict is put in front of him, most often with the help of another character and ultimately, thanks to the contradiction, the truth is found - that is, we get a ready-made thought about any aspect of life. And so on. Everything is connected together, and each such thought, which is formed with the help of the character's life - by doing it with the rest, creates the philosophy of the work.

For instance. Sasori and Deidara degenerate their vision of the world in their art. They were a contradiction, in the end they found harmony, Deidara accepted eternity, and Sasori the truth of transience. Thanks to the fact that Sasori took instant and soul - Kankuro managed to dissuade him and Sasori decided to find eternity in the continuation of generations. During Edo Tensei, we see Sasori no longer hide his concern for Deidara with excuses and aggression - he has evolved. Therefore, Kankuro deals with the question of the soul. Sasori dies while Deidara screams and he pretends to embrace his parents. During the conversation, Edo Tensei, with the help of Kankuro and Sasori, reveal to us the theme of the soul. What is the soul? A haven of pain that poisons the heart, but without which you become a weak-willed marilnet. And Sasori's conflict is directly related to Obito. After discussing the soul issue, we see Obito pointing at the hole in his chest and saying that he doesn't feel anything. This is great preparation for Obito. These two characters are somewhat similar. Both wanted to escape their pain and forget themselves in illusions. Sasori replaced people with puppets, and love with universal contempt and control. Obito wanted to forget himself in the eternal Tsukuemi. Sasori accepted his feelings for Deidara. Obito realized that he shouldn't forget Rin. Sasori died in such a pose like hugging his parents. Obito died again while saving his friend Kakashi. Both died in the same situations that doomed them to suffering and pushed them into the dark. Simbolic 👀.(By the way, did you notice that Sasori's main OST is playing in the background? "Despair"). I mean, in Naruto, everything is very closely related to each other. Sasori and Deidara's relationship is their development. And when, for example, I see the sasosaku shippers dismantle the battle scene and say that Sakura influenced Sasori, proving her validity, it's not very pleasant. Primarily as a Naruto fan. Let's imagine for a minute If Sakura really influenced Sasori.

Sasori would not be able to achieve what he most desired - true eternal art. The role of Kankuro would not be needed and he would not have developed as a character and would not have received future Puppets . Since Kankuro is not needed, then his conversation with Chiyo and her acceptance will not take place. Since Sakura has already influenced him, there is no need to talk about the soul - there is no full disclosure of Sasori and the prologue to Obito's conflict. Complete disregard for Sasori's feelings for Deidara and for finding harmony.

And the most important thing. Sasori is a complex and deep character with his own feelings and motives. Each of his actions is based on his state of mind and thoughts. And when they explain Sasori's decision by the fact that he was influenced by a 15-year-old girl who then shouted that she wanted to get rid of her parents and who was unable to understand Sasori continued to scream, and not his character - this is a spit towards Sasori. As a Sasori stan, I am not pleased.

And so with everyone. I love Deidara. Obito is my heart. But in the pairing, Obiday Deidara is presented not as a deep character with his own conflict, but as a cliché "I behave aggressively, but I like you." Rin and Obito's wonderful story...?? No?😅😂

And yes, of course it is clear that in canon these are all crackships.

And I don't mind when people ship characters for themselves, draw art, write fanfiction and have fun. no, that's cool. BUT when they try to prove the canonicity of such an absurdity ... I'm Here 🌚👍

And after all, philosophy really changes. I was talking to my friend last week and he said, "It would be cool if in the Kazekage arc it turned out that Gaara is Uzuma. It would turn out that Naruto Uzumaki saved Uzumaki." Umm ... no. It wouldn't be.

The fact that Gaara was none for Natuto was done for a reason. From the very beginning, Gaara's history and development prepared us for 1 Pain's Philosophy. 2 To resolve the conflict between Suna and Iva. Two old villages.

Remember the first season? As after the fight Naruto said "I understand your pain, I went through the same." Gaara was not Naruto's relative, his friend from the start, he was from another village and was his enemy because

1. This resolved the conflict between Chie and the conservative villages. Chie asked, "Why does he care so much about Gaara? They are from different villages." Chie of the old school has broken the world into structures, forgetting that, first of all, they are all people and not representatives of countries. Kakashi replies, "He doesn't care what village he is from. They went through the same pain and are the best at each other." Chie dies realizing the old mistakes imposed by generations "You will change this world invented by old and stupid people."

2. Gaara was preparing us for a meeting with Pain. Pain's philosophy was that people who were completely alien to each other could understand each other by knowing the same pain. If Gaara was Naruto's relative, it would destroy the entire structure of philosophy.

3 The example of Naruto and Gaara is Jiraiya's true teaching. "We know what pain is and try to be merciful to others." The idea seems to be the same as that of Pain, but at the same time it is completely different. Pain used pain ( ahh sorry 😂) as a weapon. Against the background of Gaara's example, this looks even more obvious.

4 In the future, just like Naruto changed Chiyo, Gaara will change Onoki.

I want to say that in Naruto everything is very fragilely interconnected. This is the order and the relationship of the characters of the link. So why when the same shippers Sasosaku, Tobidei and Itadei prove their "canonicity" by

1 Sakura influenced sasori

2 Tobi called Deidara his favorite senpai

3 Deidara hates sharingan and talks about Itachi

Well, on the one hand, I don't care as the sasodei shipper , because as many canonical proofs and justifications as Sasodey has, not a single ship has

but on the other hand, as a fan of Naruto philosophy, I hate to see how people are ready to distort the idea of ​​anime and the characters of in order to prove their canon.

So,

In a word, I want to talk about this first of all as

1 A fan of the naruto philosophy that becomes meaningless due to the substitution of facts for some ship

2 A fan of all these characters who are distorted trying to prove their "canonicity"

3 Sasodei shipper

In general, I do not mind "I like this ship and I ship it. Ok"

I do not like "I will ignore the facts and at the same time do not care that I made the philosophy of the anime useless, distort the characters of the persona only in order to prove their some crackship's canonicity 🌚👍"

I hope I could explain why I want to talk about it😶

And this one is so sweet🥺💗Yes, I also know people with a huge difference in age who are beautiful and happy together for a long time. And although I agree that a lot is not visible from the outside, but age really does not matter. It's all about people.

And I'm sorry that it turned out so long 😅

This was a good chance to explain why I decided to talk about other ships (/> <)/

So, thanks again for the answers ^=^ ❤💛

I’ll go and write a post about the age difference in the drafts, edit it a little and post 🐥🦂

[white-chalk-sapphomet]

I don't think I could deal with teacher wages, but if I pursue a well-paying trade like plumbing or welding or construction as supplementation/to pay for school, I do wonder if pursuing a teaching career would be an efficient way to like. Idk.. provide positive influences for future generations. To like try to teach empathy and critical thinking skills, provide practical / life navigation skills their parents (like mine) neglected to teach, n idk like.. try to encourage them and cultivate positive self images, advise on warning signs of abuse/manipulation. Idk somebody to be kind to them, let them know that they're not stupid because they struggle, and ideally provide the perspectives needed to care about making the world a fair place for anybody to live in.

But at the same time, I know realistically w the way school curriculums work, I could only be so ambitious since I'd be on a time crunch to cover material and ensure students make passing grades. N then there's also a certain standard of "you can't pass on a "political agenda" onto your students", which.. in my experience with teachers, they wouldn't ever endorse a particular alignment/party or whatever, even if students kept asking, but like you usually knew who was most likely a republican or liberal democrat or whatever based on like. Almost anything that came out of their mouth.

I'd do like home ec if that was still common, but maybe a social studies or English class would be an easier medium to approach stuff like.. the social state of the world or why they should care for others. But also having a kind and patient math teacher means a lot to people I think.. n then also keeping in mind that being a kind, likable teacher or whatever is something that can't be like.. forced or artificial or whatever, bc that shit is annoying, patronizing, and straight up uncomfortable to a lot of people I think.

Idk, more than anything, I just want to be able to promote positive social change and help people be more well equipped as they're leaving high-school than I was. Myself and so many close friends had such fucked up home-lives, and having a teacher want the best for you and worry about you means a lot to troubled kids I think.

[justhereforfanfiction]

Lost - Logan x MC

Angst, approximately 2, 500 words.

Hi. This is my first ever fanfiction, so any feedback is welcome! Although I haven't posted any fanfictions on there other than this one, I will likely branch out from Choices on Wattpad and if you are interested in that, maybe you could look at my account? It's @ GalaxyGirl20671! Again, feedback including constructive criticism is welcome, and I hope you like it! I think it helps 'set the mood' if you do listen to the song, but in no way do you have to! I hope you enjoy. 😊

I know I didn't use every lyric but that's because I didn't want to use repeated lines in case it became repetitive.

Song - Lost by Freya Ridings

*I know I use 'Ellie' in this instance but it just represents the MC - to me, it feels a bit detached to use 'Y/N' - but feel free to self-insert if you wish! :)*

 'Standing on the platform, watching you go...'

Ellie stood at the turn - in at the end of her block, watching as a sleek, black-striped yellow sports car slid out of its slot into the street. Almost as easy as it had come into her life, she supposed, on that less-than-fateful day. But she knew that that was not the case, just as she knew the boy whose spark plug necklace was slipped under her t-shirt, guarding her rapidly beating heart.

'It's like no other pain I've ever known'

That same heart ached at even the concept of him leaving her side, yet somehow there the reality was painted, harsh and monochrome against the bold, colourful canvas of what had been her hopes and dreams for the two of them. Although with him, those dreams could have been driving around the city or sat in some reincarnation of his loft eating takeout from Kelso's, and it would still make her feel as though she was graduating from a hundred- no, a thousand - Langstons. Her sense of loss was so strong it manifested itself as physical pain - a common symptom of undergoing stress, she seemed to remember from one of their late-night 'study sessions', the knot in her stomach tightening at the fond, soon-to-be-bittersweet memory.

'To love someone so much, to have no control...'

Ellie could still feel her whole body pulse gently, perhaps not entirely from her emotions (although those threatened to overwhelm her), but from the intensity and fierceness of their last embrace before he left. That had been out of her hands, he had wanted to keep her safe - but her father pulling a gun on him only pushed the situation further out of her grasp. It seemed she had come full circle - from her cop father controlling her life to her breaking free, her forgiving him again, and back to him commanding the one thing she loved beside him; the boy with the car. Couldn't she have one untarnished goodbye out of the many to remember him by, without someone accusing them of something? Ellie's dad had only been trying to protect her, and she knew that - but her first everything had been putting HER first as well, being noble for Gods' sake! Even if it didn't feel like it to her...

'You said "I wanna see the world", and I said "Go"'

The look on his face had told Ellie one thing, yet his mouth spoke another. He had known she had plans for the future, and to him, he was getting in the way of those. With his words, he gently retracted himself from her life. He had been 'just some kid you caused trouble with in high school' to her father undoubtedly, but in Ellie's heart, she knew he was so much more. However, while he was saying that, his arms drew her in and she had melted into his touch. The sound of his car engine seemed to call out decidedly that his words had signified his true intentions.

'I think I'm lost, without you'

Without him, Ellie didn't know who she should be anymore. He was the one who brought her into this life, who brought out this side of her. Every time she had been brave, or confident, or even remotely bold, it had been because of him, directly or otherwise? Whoever thought she'd dance at a secret warehouse rave? Or pass her driving test? Or even talk to Ingrid as an equal in any way other than academics? Going back to her old self felt as difficult as trying to separate water from the sand without filter paper. "Be the real you. the one that was always waiting to come out" he had said. She wanted to so badly, but how could she do that when so much of that person was based on him? It was just like Colt had said - every time she gets behind the wheel she will remember them and the year she had spent.

'I just feel crushed without you'

Ellie's emotions weighed down on her like the heavens on Atlas the Titans' shoulders. Whenever they had been driving or executing one of Kanaeko's master plans with the rest of the MPC, she had enjoyed - no, loved - his company, yet now she realised that once the others were gone he had been the one she needed the most of all of them. And now he was about to be gone, leaving her with a stolen car that Toby wasn't here to patch up, and the memories of fleeting touches long since past.

'I've been strong for so long, I never thought

how much I needed you'

Even when he had left after teaching her to fight, Ellie had not felt it with the same note of finality that this moment held. She had always thought there was a possibility - however small - of seeing him one last time. And now, even though she wished it desperately, Ellie knew he wasn't coming back. This time, too much was on the line.

'Strangers rushing past, just trying to get home.'

In the not-so-far distance, Ellie could hear the steady stream of LA traffic that the boy she loved would soon enter. She wondered - would they know a wanted street racer was cruising down the freeway amongst them? That that drive was breaking two hearts and would damage at least one more before the night was out? Nobody knew where he was going, however, not even Ellie. Her best guess was back to Detroit, but Ellie guessed that not even he knew where he would wind up tomorrow morning. Even that one suggestion could have been some sort of plot to make sure she didn't worry about him (although she would nonetheless) or found where he was. He knew her better than anyone, after all. She would only have agreed to Mona's terms if he had reiterated them.

'But you were the only safe haven that I've known'

Those words were true enough. Despite her father claiming to support her in everything she did, the one thing Ellie never knew she wanted had been right under her nose, kept away from her by the one who 'only wanted her to be happy'. Sure, Ellie understood that Grand Theft Auto wasn't exactly a conventional - or indeed safe- pastime, but not teaching her to drive only meant that once Ellie wanted to learn, she was dangerously inexperienced anyway! And look where that got her. With her driving license, of course (since Ellie, as her dad loved to brag, "succeeded in everything she put her mind to"), but with her friends a now orphaned teen with what seemed to be a world (or at least city) domination problem, a hardened criminal currently in hospital, soon to be jail with a bullet through her side because of her, and two mechanic - slash racers on the run, and a boyfriend (well, would-be, since they never defined the relationship, but an ex now involuntarily)being forced by her dad to leave the country at gunpoint.

The boyfriend who had taught her how to drive. Who had cared about her over the safety of his crew, or even being put in jail. Who had guided her through her first... everything, really. First kiss, first car, first heist - whenever Ellie needed him, he was there. And most importantly, she could say next to anything around him and he would listen and give advice without judgement. Even though she had missed the comfort of her bed whilst residing in his loft, that boy was - and Ellie had a feeling always would be - where her heart lived.

'Hits me at full speed, 

Feels like I can't breathe 

And nobody knows'

As soon as the key had turned in the ignition, the Devore roaring to life, Ellie's breath had been knocked out of her as fast as if her car could have accelerated from 0 to 100 in a nanosecond. All she wanted to do was scream and howl at the sky, to God, to anyone who would listen to try and get them to rewrite fate so that they could be together. She wanted to cry to Riya, but she knew that her best friend no matter how much they had in common would just take her to get ice cream and tell her 'these things heal in time'. She wanted to collapse at her mothers' feet as she frequently did in her dreams, but the tightness of the heirloom bracelet at her wrist reminded Ellie that that was impossible.

Most of all, however, she wanted her fathers' understanding; that she loved and had lost just as he had all those years ago. She remembered when her dad had met him for the first time properly, the anger he had wielded towards the boy who had put her in so much danger - who had saved her from it just as many times. The disbelief on his face as she explained that she loved this 'bad boy', this 'adrenaline junkie'  as she was sure her father addressed him in his mind. How the initial shock had moulded into fury at whatever 'trick' he was sure this criminal must have worked on his daughter. No, Ellie was sure he wouldn't understand for at least the next week or so.

'This pain inside me

My world is crumbling

I should have never

Let you go'

The first tear of what was to be many rolled down Ellie's already mascara-striped face as she fell to her knees. Her dad looked at her in surprise as she screamed in the middle of the street, and could see an identical tear roll down the face of the boy inciting it as he drove past the old man, wincing in guilt as the sound of his ride or die's anguish reached his ears. Had it maybe been the wrong thing to do? Had he maybe... underestimated the intensity of the teenagers' emotions? Undoubtedly, but he had to protect his daughter from going down the wrong path.

Ellie's jaw tightened as her father dared to look vaguely upset at the situation. He was the one worsening it after all. It was almost shameful of him to have judged her (literal) partner in crime so quickly. After all, when had he ever hurt her with bad intentions at heart? Ellie realised that her anger was not directed towards her father, but rather towards herself for allowing this to happen. She couldn't have stopped him leaving, but she could have made sure they were farther out of her dads' line of sight so they would have a chance of a 'proper' goodbye, whatever that was;  the one year had spent with him and the crew had felt far more meaningful than any of the 18 she had gone through alone, to the point where the mere thought of goodbye was heartbreaking.  And she had simply let him be treated in that way by her kin?

'I've been strong for so long, I never thought

How much I love you'

Earlier in the evening, once she had dispelled all of her nervous energy, her mind had been solely focused on bringing Shaw and The Brotherhood down. But once that had come to pass, her emotions had hit her like a ton of bricks. The Mercy Park Crew had no reason to stick around now Teppei was dead; it was time to find a new gang. For Colt and Mona, leaving had not been a choice. The latter's injury and the formers' determination to build his name in LA's criminal underworld saw to that. Saying goodbye to each of them had been no easy task, and she had half expected him to have skipped town already, to save them both the heartbreak of saying goodbye. But that had not been the case, as he had stepped out of the darkness to say one final farewell. 

Tears had soaked Ellie's skin at the words he spoke, as they did now as he drove away. Her guard had been up during the heist, channelling her anger and determination to have Jason put behind bars, along with Detectives Wallace and Hester. But when she was around the crew, those she considered close enough to be family, Ellie had broken down. She had been fierce and brave then; that had been to cover up her paralysing fear of losing them again. Of losing herself again. His goodbye had hurt the most, like a slap to the face, short and painful but with lasting effects.

Throughout the brief conversation, their relationship had played through her mind; not just from her perspective, but what it must have been like for him.  How on that day, what seemed to be casual flirting and general friendliness must have been tiptoeing through a minefield for him. A single wrong move and the whole crew could be placed at risk. The initial shock and rush when driving from the cops leading to the beginning of their relationship. How in each moment Ellie fell deeper in love with him, he was doing the same, only that feeling of freefalling was paired with the guilt of tricking her, and the fear of letting her in at the risk of his emotions and her safety - concerns which were not calmed by certain complications they had run into along the way. This myriad of memories only emphasised the emptiness Ellie felt in her heart now.

'Standing on the platform, watching you go.

You said, "I wanna see the world" and I said "Go"'

As Ellie felt the tarmac of the sidewalk dig into her knees and tears roll down her face, she watched as the car she knew so well turned into the next street. When the car swung around, she caught a glimpse of its driver, his eyes trained on hers, smiling weakly through tear-filled eyes. Regret was written undeniably in his gaze, but he was trying to put on a brave face for her to remember him by. Trademark. A thought that once would have put a grin on Ellie's face now caused her to sob in sorrow, grieving the little moments that comfortably passed between them that she was sure could not be replicated with anyone else. She shot him back a brief smile, equally bittersweet in the less than perfect moment, and the last words he said to her echoed in her mind.

"Give 'em hell, troublemaker"

His car finally moved out of sight, and Ellie suddenly felt the repressed need to call out for him spring out in full force; now that her father had walked inside she felt less pressured to avoid the elephant in the room, at least out loud.

"Logan..." she choked out to no one in particular, as she rubbed her road marked knees the way he would have done and slowly got up.

Later, after she had deleted their messages from her phone and laid in her bed in silence, she took off the necklace from around her neck and placed it on the adjourned pillow. "Logan." Ellie whispered to herself as if in the affirmation that he had been real.

She had been lucky to know him. Too bad there wasn't a next time to be ready for.

[punkscowardschampions]

Janis & Jimmy

Janis: 🥱🥱 Jimmy: Afternoon Janis: Piss off Janis: it's the crack of dawn Janis: bet the boy ain't even woke up yet to 👀 the decs Jimmy: it's a lie in for me Janis: before you handicapped me, I was getting up pretty early too 🐕🏃 Jimmy: @ Helena and her 💊s Jimmy: that there's the handicap Janis: her back ain't that bad Janis: anyway 💊s aren't gonna make me jolly Jimmy: go on then Jimmy: what do you need, baby? Janis: 😏 Janis: Is that any way for an elf to talk? Jimmy: depends what you 🖋 in your letter to 🎅 Jimmy: might be dead on Janis: You reckon that's top of my list? Jimmy: know what you're like with 👴💕 Janis: 🥇 or nowt Janis: makes Lucas look 🥉 for sure Jimmy: writing lines in detention ain't gonna come close Janis: Only just started this holiday Janis: you need cheering up too 🌧 Jimmy: don't sound like me, that Janis: ☀️ Janis: not much chance of that today ☃️ Jimmy: you not coming then? Janis: You really are on form this AM Janis: very quotable Jimmy: won't be long til 💀👑's getting out her 🛁 of 🩸 for a new day of torture Jimmy: have to sleep when we're ⚰ Janis: grind never sleeps 💪 Janis: so glad she only has 😍 for one 👴 though Jimmy: they've had years to perfect that roleplay Jimmy: must be 🥇 Janis: 🤢🤢 nah Janis: not gonna be able to face breakfast now Janis: 💔 that's why she can't either, awh Jimmy: stop finding common ground, it's 💔 me Janis: Baby Janis: sure if you asked really nicely, they'd let you work a double shift Jimmy: funny Janis: You walked right into that one Jimmy: there'd be nowt 💔😭🎻 for me about walking our kid to you and pissing off to work if you want some alone time with your real boyfriend 🎅 Janis: yeah right Janis: be all good until he starts 💔😭🎻 and I'd have to come find you Jimmy: I get it, you're off the 🎪🤹🤡 clock Janis: just don't reckon I know enough sign language to win him over Jimmy: reckon you could leave it to 🎅 Jimmy: seems like he'd be a traditional kind of #lad, chuffed for you to be 🤐 and just bake the mince pies Janis: 🤤 what can't he do Jimmy: probably wouldn't have got 💀👑's cooking down him any easier than we did Janis: I didn't mind the excuse to go to the bathroom Jimmy: SUCH a 💊head, you Janis: 🙄 Janis: don't judge me, babes Jimmy: just her decor Jimmy: best that bathroom's ever gonna have looked with your giant head blocking out them ugly tiles Janis: should've dashed yours into 'em Jimmy: 🤤🤤🤤 Janis: gutted we didn't get to sleepover Janis: would've had plenty of time to redecorate 🩸 Jimmy: hang on, I'll set one up Jimmy: liven up the group chat Janis: 😂 Janis: you are SUCH a peacekeeper it's SOOOOOOOOOOO cute I can't 😻 Janis: run out of sleeps before 🎅 pays 'em all a visit Jimmy: 💰 on Asia getting into a #scandal thinking if she rubs the coal he gave her on her face she'll have a charcoal face mask ready to go Janis: Can't wait to #cancel her for good Jimmy: just better not have the sleepover here, that kind of casual racism could have her in the running for my new step ma Janis: imagine the unfortunate children Janis: massive heads and bigger teeth Janis: christ Jimmy: don't Jimmy: I'm basically illiterate, they'd be thick as shit Janis: the work would truly NEVER end Janis: you leave her in charge of 'em... 🍄💉🧱🧨🪓🔥 Jimmy: however many 👶 they churned out, she's one more on top of Janis: can't let that happen to you Jimmy: but near worth it for the #goals 👰🤵 pics obvs Janis: you wouldn't even be the cutest page boy Janis: tragic 💔 Jimmy: long as you keep faking your 😍 mate, don't matter Janis: I think I'll manage Janis: 🏆 at stake Jimmy: gotta take at least one job seriously, I'm doing your other Janis: 1. stop any time and let me 2. and your sister when you can't be arsed Jimmy: my sister when I've gotta be audience to your gingerbread masterpiece, more like Jimmy: can't have you going without 👏 Janis: don't throw down the gauntlet if you don't want me to show you how it's done Jimmy: when a lass begs me for a challenge, she gets one Jimmy: just that dickhead Janis: If I was gonna beg, you'd know about it Jimmy: you did and I did Jimmy: stop flirting with me, I've got a kid to shake away Jimmy: *awake Janis: yeah piss off and be useful Janis: 👋 in a few Jimmy: you got that hint then? Know what your room reading skills are like Janis: 'course you do Janis: got to have something to aspire to Jimmy: 🥇 or nowt don't mean cracking on with the second bit, case you need that spelling out an' all Janis: you're the one that's thick Janis: in your own words, spellchecked, I assume Jimmy: and I've still got better social skills, Julie 💔 for you Janis: if I got paid by the hour, I might bother as well 😘 Jimmy: Oi that's a point Jimmy: never left a tip in my jar, you Janis: you mean the one time I came in? Jimmy: you'd have preferred some festive bollocks off the menu, yeah? Jimmy: I'll sort that for next time 🤶 Janis: maybe I preferred another barista boy, and I know how tip jars work, make you share it out all equally 👎 Jimmy: alright but do you know how pockets work? I've got a few of them to slip 💰 in Jimmy: you can have that tip to slide into your new boyfriend's DMs with 😘 Janis: you aren't strippers Janis: if you want to go the hooter route, you're gonna need to make those aprons shorter Jimmy: there's a few 👴👵 who ain't had that memo Jimmy: I'll @ my manager with your 🥇💡 though, see if he'll get it done for this afternoon shift Janis: you're welcome Janis: you'll be cold but swimming in 💰 so who cares Jimmy: northerns don't feel the cold, bit like strippers Jimmy: *northerners Janis: you didn't totally wimp out on the school trip Janis: or the park Jimmy: 💪🏆 me Jimmy: Ian'll be dead proud Janis: yeah Janis: shame about the complexion Janis: leave it out and you can brag and bond Jimmy: 🍻 Janis: heartwarming Jimmy: hang on, this'll have you 💀💀💀 inside again Jimmy: [Bobby's reaction vid to these decs] Janis: Awh Janis: bless him Jimmy: we did alright Janis: you happy too? Janis: no video needed Jimmy: [a pic like 😁👍] Janis: 🤓 Jimmy: *😎🚬 Janis: 👌 honey Janis: does look good Jimmy: he's doing a letter to say tah to Santa, might need you to spellcheck it for us Janis: He's well cute Janis: doubt I'll get mine to do it but her penmanship is shite so he'll look 🥇 in comparison Jimmy: wait til he 👀s mine Jimmy: I'll have to tell him it ain't just a squiggle but actually says tah for the missus and that, mate Janis: 🎅💔 Jimmy: *🎅🥊 Janis: 😂 Janis: long as the kids are distracted by the shit gifts they'll get Jimmy: do you want your shit 🎨🎁 now or in a bit? Janis: give it to me when they get theirs or I'll 🥺 Janis: love ruining christmas, me Jimmy: don't sound like you, that Jimmy: 🥇🎄 work Janis: don't forget the gingerbread house Janis: as I crave that 👏 Jimmy: I'll knock you up a tinfoil 🏆 to go with your 👑 Janis: what you gonna cover your no carb low fat tofurkey with?!!!!? 😱😱😱 Jimmy: you're more important, girl Janis: taste better, is the honest truth Janis: don't need to be a 🧛 to know Jimmy: 😏 Jimmy: I'll stick that in the group chat Janis: you can say it but they're not gonna find out for themselves Jimmy: as constructive criticism goes it ain't bad but no need to take it as an instruction, lasses Janis: 🤢🤢 Janis: stop making me feel ill Janis: I've got to go break the ✨ surprise and get all the 🏆👑 Jimmy: piss off then Janis: TTFN Jimmy: 💕 Janis: [actually skip forward now] Janis: where do you wanna meet? we're ready Jimmy: We'll walk over, get the intros out the way before 🎅 can stick his oar in Janis: 👍 Janis: she's pretty good at pronunciation for a kid but you might have to step in if she gets too chatty Jimmy: keep her on the nice list, I get it Janis: Don't worry, she's not a dick like my sister or anything Jimmy: I weren't Jimmy: you wouldn't have invited her if she were owt like Gracie Janis: Good Janis: we'll be outside ☃️☃️ Jimmy: 👍 Janis: not got any 🚬🕶 going so can't make it in your likeness this time soz Jimmy: long as you get the 👂 and eyebrows sorted you can still tag me Janis: 🪒 Jimmy: 😍 Janis: you deserve a treat too, like Jimmy: I'm just pleased to see you, soz Jimmy: 🚫🔪🔨🔧🪓 Janis: don't worry, santa is coming through for me later Janis: 🤞 for ☣️ Janis: 🥴🤤🤮💀👻 Jimmy: 💰 on your man having a flask of socially acceptable poison Janis: yeah, give him the rosy red cheeks that complete the lewk Janis: nose that looks like a 🍓 Jimmy: that there's the only treat I need 🤤 Janis: 😂 Jimmy: [show up so these bubs can meet and start a lifelong friendship] Janis: [Libi just like bonjour, what are you going to ask Santa for, I'm gonna ask for this and this] Jimmy: [we know Bobby wants art supplies and a camera and we know why lol cue an eye roll from Jimothy as if he isn't buzzing to be loved] Janis: [no pretending that's not adorable, like, just like WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE COLOUR CRAYON] Jimmy: [okay but imagine him taking a crayon from behind his ear where jimothy keeps 🚬] Janis: [imagine, Janis just 😏 above their heads like not encouraging bad habits or nothing] Jimmy: [jimmy just looking to see if it's black like his soul or blood red and tutting when it obvs isn't either of those] Janis: [shakes head like what have you been teaching him tbh, Libi saying hers is that bluey silver colour like her mum's hair and we oop] Jimmy: [Bobby just like I don't have a mum anymore cos kids don't give a fuck and Jimmy just like so glad I get to sign this] Janis: [just literally like gurl same! 'cos neither of you can tell a child to shut the fuck up lmao 'my mummy and daddy are dead, what happened to your mum?'] Jimmy: [Bobby just like 'she went away' because we truly know not] Janis: [just like fantastic, so glad we came, bet he's thrilled he invited us now, 'cos we're not even looking, just walking in total silence, meanwhile Libi like oh okay 'If she comes back, I can see her' and then moving on chatting about our dog and what we're getting her for Christmas] Jimmy: [Bobby just like 'my dad's about but you wouldn't want to meet him' and doing an impression of Ian's angry face and then telling her all about Twix because dogs 5ever, making Jimothy give him his phone to show Libi pics of this pup] Janis: ['my granddad could fight him' when you're like Libi shh that's not nice but at least that is amusing as a prospect, also clearly doing a phone swap 'cos you'd have that Killer queen content on yours, Libi being like 'Janis knows loads about dogs and has taught her loads of tricks because she used to be a naughty girl and wee everywhere and eat everyone's shoes' and loling] Jimmy: [Bobby just dangerously close to outting Jimmy's secrets by telling her that he fights Ian sometimes so casual so nbd and then telling her about how Cass did that dog walk the other day and going on and on about how naughty Twix is and all the things she's done] Janis: [JJ y'all gotta pick them up and run so you can shove breakfast in their gobs like nooooooooo 'you're so lucky you've got a brother AND a sister, even though your brother's old too' looking at Jimmy and shaking her head in disdain because that's the age of her aunties and stuff and kids have no concept of age they treat you like you're ancient but at least that's a joke we've had so Janis managing to look at Jimmy like lol, she knows your secret] Jimmy: [the most half hearted 😏 but we're a bit more amused when Bobby starts dragging Cass by doing an impression of how angry she is and stomping about etc as if she's worse than Ian] Janis: [she's cackling in that way babby's do 'you're funny, you're my new friend'] Jimmy: [Bobby is buzzing and we're using Jimothy's phone to have a selfie sesh but also take artsy pics of our new bff as we go along] Janis: [run along you innocent children, like you've not just revealed so much, god bless] Jimmy: [JJ just awkwardly af walking in silence now thanks kids] Janis: [going to apologize like several times but you can't even, where would you begin lmao, pretend it's chill] Jimmy: [chuck some snow at her or like shake a tree branch full of it onto her or something, any distraction will do] Janis: [fall into the safety of that] Jimmy: [if nothing else he's good at that when things are awkward] Janis: [likewise, when we sit down for this breakfast, you can do all the posting thus far] Jimmy: [cheers to the fans for that distraction, meanwhile Jimmy and Bobby can teach Libi some easy signing since we're BFFs and gonna be seeing more of you undoubtedly baby hen] Janis: [lucky for you gal, perks of being but a child, she'd love that 'cos mini nerd and she'll be able to pick it up as most nurseries now do makaton so it's a way into learning it] Jimmy: [at least the bubs are having a lovely time until Santa breaks Bobby's heart by not knowing any] Janis: [truly, a day of drama and stress when you're just trying to do something nice, if that don't sum up xmas] Jimmy: [the tea honey, at least that'll be easy to smooth over like the people I work with are dickheads as well boy, that ain't the real Santa's fault] Janis: [it happens a lot 'cos the shopping centre ones freak kids out rightly so, Libi just blowing raspberries at him like understand this loser 'cos we're a baby bad bitch] Jimmy: [I stan Libi and the way she'll protect him and make him less shy, cos you know we're doing it too after she has and didn't get shouted at lol] Janis: [you've got your prezzies kids, fuck him up, just tugging on Jimmy's sleeve and loudly being like 'What's sign for poopoo head?' 'cos the age hen] Jimmy: [obvs we're showing her and we're not sorry, Jimothy is a bad bitch too okay] Janis: [we're just calling everyone a poopoo head all day now, which I imagine is quite visually obvious because the swears etc usually are] Jimmy: [that has cheered everyone greatly thanks Libi] Janis: [you are a funny egg, at least, hence we can't be mad at you/ignore you because what is that achieving, 'tis not your fault Edie is dead luv] Jimmy: [and Edie wouldn't want that like you can be anti Ruster having her because she wouldn't want that obvs] Janis: [make that the hill and we lowkey ignore everyone else rn, at least in comparison to how everything was before, so it's fine lol, think we are gonna get y'all presents that don't suck and I think you should get pups and name them] Jimmy: [keeping them forever, you cannot destroy them Twix or Killer thank you] Janis: [keep 'em safe, lads, I think you should call yours Star, 'cos huskies are that silvery grey colour too and the names work well together because obviously your dogs are BFFs too] Jimmy: [aw Snow & Star 4ever] Janis: [making Janis make the dogs do little tricks for y'all and then cackling again when she makes 'em poo on Libi's head] Jimmy: [love this so much, also can't forget Jimmy giving Janis the 🎨 which can be when the bubs have their real 🎁 cos fuck you Santa] Janis: [we know she genuinely appreciates them honey, we're always excited to see what he's done] Jimmy: [god knows because he blatantly did it last night after she left/early this morning even before this convo started because never sleep well so] Janis: [you know Libi is gonna be all over that hun like SHOW ME and then being like draw me draw me to Jimmy and Bobby] Jimmy: [they shall honey because we love an art sesh] Janis: [the confidence of a child, just posing here with the dogs] Jimmy: [never change gal never lose it] Janis: [we're clearly making Janis too, then shouting out increasingly complicated things, like, make the dogs pull us on a sleigh, make us flying, like gal, your dreams lol] Jimmy: [Jimothy will never back down from a challenge, he's got you bub] Janis: [don't stress out poor Bobby though, at least you not a rude ass bitch so you wouldn't shade his attempt] Jimmy: [it'd be a cute attempt, BFF status cemented] Janis: [can put up these pics for extra cuteness, hoes will DIE] Jimmy: [I wish we actually had some but alas] Janis: [never be as good as our imagination anyway] Jimmy: [true, is there anything else we wanna have them do before he has to go back to work?] Jimmy: [could go to the park maybe because it's right by his house and thus mcvickers] Janis: [that's a good way to end this day for you kiddos, could also get the dogs which would make them lowkey hysterical with happiness so pop off] Jimmy: [love that cos we know Cass has probably walked the other dogs while they've been out for that cash so no time to take Twix] Janis: [live ya life, get ya things, but now you gotta go to work and we gotta] Janis: Thanks for today, reckon they both enjoyed themselves 👍✔ Jimmy: you're alright, were going any road and I reckon he had a better time with her about Janis: they were cute Janis: and she lives at my nan and granddads so if he wants to hang more, easy done Jimmy: 👍✔ Janis: Yeah Janis: well she doesn't always talk about her dead mum and dad so it shouldn't be a big thing Janis: sorry Jimmy: it weren't a big thing to him Jimmy: nowt for you to be sorry for Janis: It weirds plenty of kids out Janis: I could've warned you, I guess Jimmy: loads of kids reckon he's weird Jimmy: Asia's sister included Janis: some front when you look like your ma fucked a cheese grater Jimmy: her dad weren't at the nativity, might be 'cause he were stuck in a drawer, yeah Janis: dunno if she's got one any more Janis: 💀👑 flex Jimmy: what, like she fucked and ate him? Janis: 🐰🥕 Jimmy: #fated Janis: 💔 they didn't think so Jimmy: 💔 I can't change the station to Classic FM for them 🎻s Janis: Perils of 🎅🎄🎁☃️ Jimmy: ❌🎅 that shithead's 💀💀💀 to us Janis: yeah Janis: and his tunes are shit Jimmy: don't even care how fit that 🍓 were looking Jimmy: SO over him and his 👃 babes Janis: better off without him Janis: you can do SO much better Jimmy: 🖋 us a joke about him being a ho ho HOE Janis: I'll hit up the group chat Janis: their level of humour Jimmy: 🥇💡 Janis: and one of them has always just been dumped so they'll comiserate with you Jimmy: tah huns Janis: nothing if not the BEST friends to have Jimmy: DUH! Only time I'll accept 🥈 Janis: charming that is 😏 Jimmy: I get it 🎅 were a right let down, you need some 💕 Janis: just a bit rude that you're so gracious with them Jimmy: Baby Janis: Such a pisstake Jimmy: their BFF status, yeah Janis: you Jimmy: why me? Janis: you just are Jimmy: you can take it Janis: true Jimmy: I know, that'll be why I said it Janis: we're alright, yeah? Janis: I don't think shit needs to be weird just 'cos 2 kids have got no filter Jimmy: don't it feel like we're alright to you? Janis: it was a bit awkward Janis: but I'm over it if you are Jimmy: nowt to be over from where I'm serving overpriced ☕ Jimmy: just the unpaid translator earlier, me, none of my business what they were going on about Jimmy: if you wanna tell me something, up to you, that Janis: alright Janis: works for me Jimmy: she's world class at signing, won't need me after a bit, any road Janis: bit of a third-wheel Janis: cramp his style with your 🤓 Jimmy: *😎 Jimmy: but alright 🖍 are cooler than 🚬 give him that Janis: gonna usurp you in every way, for sure Jimmy: go on then, what's your fave colour 🖍 ? Janis: the important questions Janis: don't know why it's taken you so long Jimmy: tell me Jimmy: edge of the seat I ain't allowed to put my arse near til my next break Janis: 🎻😞 Janis: goldenrod or inchworm obvs Jimmy: gonna do your next 🎨 in them so 🤞 you took it serious Janis: it's 💛💚 so I'm gonna look like a keylime pie Jimmy: never said I were drawing you, bighead Janis: you will be though Jimmy: not gonna now for the sake of Janis: 1. I know you're tired, grumpy 2. How will they know it's goals??? Jimmy: 1. Bollocks 2. everything I touch turns to #goals, nowt I could do wrong Janis: 1. s'fair, you've been an unpaid translator, an artiste, santa and now barista boy who can't sit down 2. alright, if you want to add Midas to the CV but might be a bit much Jimmy: now I've got your permission I'll draw some eyes on 😎 and grab a quick kip 👍 tah for that, Jillian Jimmy: ❌ that off the CV though, noted Janis: it's fair but life and working a minimum wage job for your living ain't Janis: keep 💭 though and I'll let you focus on it and the overpriced ☕ Jimmy: where's your focus going? Janis: need to get another minimum wage job I can do sitting down so you don't take it over/ban me Jimmy: you were hopping round less today, that just for the kid's benefit or were you 💭 about keeping me out of pocket with a full recovery, like? Janis: 💭 about keeping you out the loop and pretending it's permanent Janis: have you munchausened me or am I munchausening you Janis: real question #2 Jimmy: well done on telling me that plan then Janis: Yeah, you know Janis: when you've pissed off who's gonna carry me about Jimmy: 🎅 Jimmy: you're heavy but not sack of 🎁 heavy Janis: true Janis: he's 💪 Janis: oh well, problem sorted then 👋 Jimmy: Lucas is a poor man's version an' all he'd be alright for a few lifts Jimmy: I'll race back for the funeral, obvs Janis: don't Janis: he actually offered me a lift once after a match and it was very awkward Janis: definitely not meant to do that, but he's a maverick, you know Jimmy: did you offer to take a lit match to his car or what? Janis: I'm not as witty as Libi Janis: but I did get detention for a week, which is funny as, like what you saying for? 'cos I didn't wanna get sexually assaulted and dumped in a ditch? Janis: 💩💩🧠 Jimmy: Stockholm syndrome only works for dickheads like me on dickheads like you 💔 for him Janis: 'scuse me? Jimmy: can't ⛓ you to a desk nowhere but in his dreams Jimmy: could've childlocked you into his motor but his lack of 🥇🗨 pissed on that Janis: If there was anything in his plan for me, might've worked Janis: but I'm not arsed about straight As Janis: 🤞 he tried Mia next Jimmy: she does look like she just crawled out a ditch Jimmy: dunno if we can score him any credit for that though Janis: just the #aesthetic babes Janis: try and look a bit buzzing when they come in, 'cos they will Janis: no need to 💔 them about 🎅 when you can act like it was the best time ever Jimmy: 😒 just my face, nowt personal, Mia Janis: NOT pleased to see her 🔧🔨🧨🪓🔪 Jimmy: I'll fake it if she fakes not being a Scrooge Janis: no need to go that far Jimmy: if you can't be a slag for tips at christmas, when can you, eh? Janis: 🙄😏 Jimmy: Oi, dead serious question, that Janis: I don't do your schedule Janis: though maybe I'll pop a CV in Janis: better or worse than step-mum nightmares? 🤔 Jimmy: Depends Janis: on? Jimmy: you gonna leave the ☕🎨 to me or are we making 🎄🍆 happen? Janis: 1. the #goals answer is the cup ain't big enough to do it justice, alright 2. if you were as good a teacher as Lucas, I might be better but most importantly 3. gonna be your manager, I'll never be there let alone ever make ☕s Jimmy: got it all figured out, you Jimmy: be piss easy for you to answer my next dead serious question Janis: yeah, aside for my total lack of experience for the role, well in Janis: so go on Jimmy: I were just thinking are we too 👰💍🤵? 👵💕👴 ain't #goals unless we're chatting my personal Janis: too domestic, you mean? Jimmy: we've done 👶🐕 if there ain't a christmas eve eve party I'll lose the 🤏 of faith I had in paddy teen humanity Janis: there's always parties Janis: it probably is time to hit another one up Jimmy: nowt to do with Ian clocking off for 🎄 and TOTALLY to do with me being chuffed to bits to give the fans what they're after Janis: 🙌 Janis: worth celebrating, I get it Jimmy: 🍾 Janis: as much as it pains me, I can't say I can't make it Janis: so sure, put in an appearance Jimmy: I get it 💔 you can't dance Jimmy: 🦶🎻🎻 Janis: at least I have an excuse Jimmy: me an' all, it's being a white northern lad Janis: 😂 Janis: I meant an excuse not to be ground on by randomers but yeah Jimmy: still works Janis: 💔💔 Jimmy: don't worry, I'll do my 😭 for pity tips, nowt you need to see Janis: if you're going that kind of party Janis: don't need to invite me Jimmy: I'll tell Doris to chuck her cardi on 💕 she'll love a bit of that Janis: unsurprised Janis: dirty bitch Jimmy: 😍😍 Janis: 🤢 Jimmy: green is right Janis: ha Janis: obviously Jimmy: whatever party we're going to, I will need a slaggy 🤶 ootd Janis: Penneys will have one you can pick up Jimmy: owt you want? Janis: not a fake beard Janis: ❌🎅 Jimmy: already got one of them in me Janis: fuck off Jimmy: in a bit then, Ellen Janis: you aren't funny Jimmy: still working on the 🤹 me Jimmy: ☕☕☕☕☕ Janis: keep at it Jimmy: they're here, should I invite 'em to this party or what? Janis: depends Jimmy: ? Janis: do you want an actual night off or do you wanna have to do #goals shit Jimmy: you heard, can do goals shit without trying Jimmy: do you want a night off? Janis: I asked you first Jimmy: so answer me first Janis: 🙄 Janis: I've had enough time off Janis: my ankle is better Jimmy: alright Janis: so answer Jimmy: I did Janis: Bitch, where Jimmy: I said alright Jimmy: I can do it Janis: no need to tax yourself Jimmy: piss off Janis: I'll go home and decorate mine Jimmy: 👌 Janis: don't invite them and you can actually have a decent time Jimmy: where? it's still a shit party full of dickheads Janis: it's your night off Jimmy: 🙄 Janis: you can't think of a single fun thing to do? Jimmy: if I ain't on your clock I'm on another Jimmy: 👶🐕 Janis: you said your dad was off Janis: is that not the entire point Jimmy: the entire point were I don't wanna be there, not that I don't have to be Jimmy: nowt #goals about pissing about for the sake of Jimmy: if you don't need me to be 🏆 they do Janis: if you don't wanna be there, then don't Janis: it doesn't make any odds if we're being #goals or not Janis: like your dad is really invested Jimmy: nowt I do is for that prick's benefit, didn't reckon that needed spelling out an' all Janis: that's my point Janis: do it for yourself Janis: don't need to pretend you're doing me a massive favour to warrant it Jimmy: what's it doing for me if I ain't? Janis: I don't know Janis: some peace and quiet Janis: time to fucking breathe Jimmy: you heard me, where? Jimmy: tisn't the season, mate Janis: for fuck's sake Janis: I never said I had all the answers for you Jimmy: don't have a go at me just 'cause I ain't chuffed at the prospect of becoming a ⛄ walking the streets of this shithole taking deep breaths or some bollocks Janis: you stop having a go at me first and we'll be quits Janis: sorry I don't have any top ideas of what you can do Janis: if I did we wouldn't need to bother with this bullshit Jimmy: 👍 Janis: whatever Jimmy: tah for that Janis: just piss off and do some work Jimmy: going against your night off stance but alright Jimmy: not the hill you wanna 💀💀💀 on Janis: whatever you're gonna do, you're still on the 🕡 right now Jimmy: weren't reckoning I had this apron on 'cause it makes me look even more fit and mysterious Jimmy: just a bonus, that Janis: funny Jimmy: come to the party with me, dickhead Janis: you're so frustrating Jimmy: how else you gonna prove to me your ankle is better and get your 🐕🏃💰 back? Jimmy: come on Janis: alright Jimmy: alright Janis: I thought you wanted to go alone Jimmy: what for? Janis: be off my �� Jimmy: this is the easiest job I've got Jimmy: and before you start, NOT saying you are Janis: I'm not starting nothing Janis: it just pisses me off when you act like it's all my idea, or I wanna do it Janis: it's mutually beneficial, that's the point Janis: and the rest of them are the ones 👀 & 💬 Janis: not me Jimmy: it were my idea, I ain't forgotten that or why it's a 🥇 Jimmy: I'm a mardy prick, can't fake that I ain't all the time Janis: I'll survive Jimmy: I'll make it up to you Janis: don't need to Jimmy: but we both need Ian's stash more than him Janis: not gonna argue with that Jimmy: mutually beneficial, I heard you Janis: he can enjoy some sober family fun Janis: I'm not going to enjoy any party if I'm not at least a bit buzzed Jimmy: you can be pissed as 💀#2 were by round 2 of that game if you want, used to carrying you by now Janis: considering how much we've eat today Janis: literally impossible Jimmy: 💔 I can't accept that challenge 'cause I ain't no lightweight Jimmy: feels wrong turning one down Janis: what else is a party for Janis: be loads of others to 🥇 Jimmy: quick, give me one I can do now before I vanish 👻👋 Janis: 🤔🤔 hmm Janis: I don't know much about this ☕😍 life Janis: but how many non-dairy orders can you 🐄 up before any of 'em notice and complain Janis: trusting you not to bullshit, dickhead Jimmy: I swear on our kid's fake 🐕 Janis: hope the real one ain't savaged poor snow Janis: will be all your fault, obvs Jimmy: sounds like her, that Jimmy: and me getting the blame'd be about right an' all Jimmy: 🤞🤞 Janis: Poor baby Jimmy: you better mean me Janis: 'course I mean you Jimmy: know what you're like 🐕💕 Janis: didn't even buy myself one, firstly Janis: and secondly, you know you're 🥇 don't be jealous Jimmy: I'd have nicked you one but 👀 and 👂 already got our sticking a 🖍 behind his Jimmy: no need to turn 'em into baby Bonnie and Clyde Janis: thank god he's cute Janis: or it'd be baby borstal Janis: use the disability card and there's nothing he can't do 😎🖍 Jimmy: and then it'd be baby 👻 'cause he'd never hack that Janis: 🥺 Janis: got that from you and all Jimmy: how much bollocks were yours 🗨? Janis: I know you're gutted she got your number Janis: 👴 Jimmy: shut up Jimmy: is there owt you can do for our real 🐕 or what? Janis: Oh Janis: well, yeah Janis: that's the side hussle 'cos the rich cunts who cba to walk their own dogs also cba to train 'em, oddly enough Jimmy: it's too 💰💰💰 for us poor lads then Janis: not necessarily Janis: need the funds myself so we can do 💰 and a favour Jimmy: if you're 💭 mates rates he weren't 🗨 bollocks about how 😈🐕 it is Janis: it can't be worse than that thing was Janis: Killer ain't a funny nickname 'cos it was so 😇 Jimmy: might have to be a big favour, all I'm saying Janis: if you can't afford it Jimmy: made 2 🐄☕ with no 🤬 or 💩 already, be alright Janis: 🤞 Jimmy: 🤝? Janis: you don't want to hear what favour I might want? Janis: brave Janis: but a deal Jimmy: I ain't scared of giving you owt you might want, Jules Janis: Good Jimmy: 👍 Janis: be a really boring party otherwise Jimmy: can't have that Janis: would be gutted Janis: and I do owe you for all the kid time today Jimmy: #notallsantas Jimmy: you'll get no 💔 off me Janis: not what I want Janis: but I did miss being alone with you Janis: I know she's a lot Jimmy: she's alright Janis: she's just a kid Janis: she don't know no better Jimmy: 🥈 to 😎🖍 obvs but I rate her as kids go Janis: duh, that 💕🥇 is mutual Jimmy: he's got no mates here yet, it were a 🏆 day for him Janis: I'm glad Janis: she liked him too Janis: wouldn't shut up Jimmy: he's probs still going on to my sister an' all Janis: gonna owe her something now Janis: probably a bit better than a cuddly 🐕 Jimmy: she's done alright out of the 🐕🏃💰 she'll live Janis: she don't need to re-cripple me for the gig Janis: plenty of 🐕🏃💰 to go 'round, don't need to be 14 for that Jimmy: she'll be 💔 you don't wanna 🥊 but yeah Jimmy: she can't be arsed to do ours but I don't blame her when it's Ian's 💰 Janis: I don't make it a habit 👶🍭 Jimmy: brb gotta @ her that fighting 🗨 Janis: such a shit-stirrer Janis: it's alright, not tryna be your new step-mum, don't need to parent-trap me Jimmy: it's called making coffee when it's my 9-5, babe Janis: 😂 get him some chalk he's had an 💭💡 Jimmy: can do my 🐄☕ tally an' all Janis: make your least fave colleague clean the bogs today Jimmy: whoever the lad is you said you liked ✔ Janis: 😨 Jimmy: 😏 Janis: trying to turn everyone against me, I 👀 Janis: only going to have to make it up to him, think on Jimmy: not if I do first 😘 Janis: 🐍 Jimmy: bit of editing that's a 🍆📏 compliment Janis: UGH Janis: bastard Jimmy: 😂 Janis: you always go on about just the tip so Janis: can't confirm nor deny ladies 💁🙊 Jimmy: one way to get me to do nudes Janis: Eurgh, don't Janis: I'll hype you up in the tweets, fine Jimmy: go on then Janis: alright Janis: [least subtle posts ever 'cos a challenge] Jimmy: [cue a flirting via socials sesh because love that for you two always] Janis: [always a mood] Janis: so goals Jimmy: Where do you reckon 💀👑 is on the scale? Janis: 😠 Janis: but if she does come to this party Janis: 🤬 potential Jimmy: but you ain't factored in she can see my 😍 IRL Jimmy: have another go Janis: 😡 Janis: so festive of her Janis: #2 bringing the 🤢 Jimmy: proud of you Janis: Babe 😊😌 Janis: are they all there? Jimmy: yeah Janis: wow ✨ miracles never cease 🙄 Jimmy: 👀 🛍 about to go ask if there's owt for us Janis: real 🎅 right there Jimmy: gonna pretend I can't understand her answer Jimmy: if that other dickhead can get away with it Janis: 😏 Jimmy: Where's Libi when I need her? Janis: she could rinse them Jimmy: I'd dip into the tip jar to see it Janis: too bad she's probably having her tea right now Janis: downsides of being 4 Jimmy: can't promise her owt better off this menu Janis: sounds like too much excitement for one day Janis: my nan'll be fuming Jimmy: I'll be round to make it up to her in a bit 🦷🌹🦷 Janis: no tah, Romeo Jimmy: spoilsport Janis: you wanted an outfit, I'm out 👀 🛍 Jimmy: watch your 🦶 in the stampede Janis: it's mental Janis: 🥊 for the bargains Jimmy: do you a 🥊 alongside my 🐄☕ Jimmy: high scores over here Janis: you're on Jimmy: 🖋👂 til my next break Janis: cute Jimmy: Bill's 👻 on at me to write you a sonnet Janis: how many did he crack out? Janis: so many hoes Jimmy: I'd ask but he's flirting now Jimmy: never takes a break, him Janis: Oh Bill Janis: the slutty friend in this sitcom Jimmy: *romcom Janis: so soz Jimmy: 😘 Janis: can't believe how cliche this shit is and we're still getting new fans Jimmy: just that good Janis: thanks, I am Jimmy: said it before Jimmy: as a muse, you're 🥇 Janis: you're not so bad yourself Jimmy: I'll aim my 😳 at their table, tah for the MASSIVE compliment Janis: I could do better but Jimmy: ? Janis: maybe it'll make me 😳 Jimmy: you're in hell, there's your excuse Jimmy: *🥵 Janis: I already know what we're gonna do at this party and honestly, I would've come even if you didn't want me to Janis: 'til you you did Jimmy: will you come here? Janis: yes Jimmy: 🚫🏃 Janis: okay Janis: but now, yeah? Jimmy: what kind of question is that? Janis: One I want you to answer Jimmy: one you know the answer to Jimmy: 'course now Janis: 👍 Janis: hold on Jimmy: I don't care if they're still here, that's not why Janis: No? Jimmy: I'll still want you here when they've pissed off Janis: I know Janis: I wanna be there Janis: you know, with you Jimmy: I know it gets a bit Jimmy: what I mean and don't Jimmy: what's for them and what's for you Janis: headfuck Janis: but we both knew that Jimmy: yeah Janis: I can handle it Jimmy: I wouldn't have picked you if I didn't reckon you could Janis: not a total bastard Jimmy: just 🤏 Janis: I like it Jimmy: obvs, your type is 🎅 Janis: 💩heads? Janis: maybe Jimmy: works for me Janis: [show up gal] Jimmy: [have an epic makeout sesh in front of all these shoppers going past and the gals inside 👀🍿 through the huge windows] Janis: [you've earnt it] Jimmy: [and Mia always deserves to be fuming] Janis: [very true honey, we know you and Pablo is all but over now] Jimmy: [he won't have bought you any goals gifts, what are you gonna do buy them yourself and imply they are from him? awkward] Janis: [didn't come to your friendmas even though you told him to, he's not serving his purpose hen] Jimmy: [notp in every sense] Janis: [we been knew, bye gals, we aren't remotely thinking about you rn] Jimmy: [lowkey never are, you're a flimsy excuse at most huns] Janis: [one we don't need currently] Jimmy: [are you coming in when his break is over or are you off again gal?] Janis: [we're coming in 'cos he asked you to stay] Jimmy: [we'll make you food you actually wanna eat, it's been ages since breakfast] Janis: [just try and find somewhere to perch and chill] Jimmy: [we'll do you the favour of saying Mia made the gals storm past you mid makeout or whatever so you don't have to sit with them] Janis: [lmao imagine, bring your festive spirit down more than the kids chatting up a storm earlier lmao] Jimmy: [that's the last thing we need, he'd get in trouble by letting you sit in the staff area before he made you share their table lol] Janis: [should do that, you know his managers long gone for xmas lol] Jimmy: [honestly go ahead gal we haven't done any of the getting in trouble stuff yet so his record is spotless rn] Janis: [us 😈 lmao] Jimmy: 👍? Janis: 👍 Janis: like what you've done with the place Jimmy: it were a bit more 🎄 but some dickhead nicked loads of it Janis: shocking Janis: some people have no shame Jimmy: if you reckon that's bad, you'll never get your head round how some people spend their 🚬 breaks, Judith Jimmy: enough to make you 😳 Janis: The people with holes and ink all over their body have bad habits? 😱 Janis: will not hear of it Jimmy: SO pure 😇 Janis: you had a costume change of 💘? Jimmy: that one's gotta be yours, Tiny Tim, for seeing the good in everyone's 💘 Janis: cheers for not calling me a 🐷 anymore, I guess Jimmy: you're welcome 🐸 Janis: 😏 Janis: don't fancy eating flies though Jimmy: Dunno if I could keep faking 😍 for you and your new diet Janis: it is a big ask Janis: wonder if I can convince the gals it's the new thing though Jimmy: nowt more #goals than a lad who'll pick flies out of his 🦷🦷 for you Jimmy: they'll FINALLY know their 💕 is real Janis: Beautiful, truly Jimmy: I'll pass it on to Bill's 👻 Janis: bit rude that he's not solely focused on our story Jimmy: *I'll 👻🥊 Janis: hot Jimmy: that's the ☕ I'm 🤹 Janis: I couldn't actually work here Jimmy: I couldn't actually have you work here Janis: fight for the tips too real Janis: I get it Jimmy: that'll do for why Janis: go on Jimmy: what? Janis: give me the bulletpoints Jimmy: you're alright 🤓 Janis: tah, babe Jimmy: and I'm alright for not 🖋 you a naughty list Jimmy: which you know were what I meant Janis: you're 🤹 Janis: I know Janis: can't blame me for trying Jimmy: you heard me #notallsantas Jimmy: don't wanna watch you sleep either, tah Janis: I appreciate you saying that Janis: don't sound at all like you're gonna Jimmy: 👀 Janis: thank god the sleepover didn't happen Janis: you and 💀👑 meet over my corpse Jimmy: I'll sort a new one since you're 💔 Janis: with who? Jimmy: I'm just the 💪🏆 Jimmy: up to you, that Janis: 🎅👴😎☕ Janis: party Jimmy: and what, we all chuck our 🔑s in a bowl? Jimmy: or just pass you around Janis: UM Janis: how dare you, we do face masks and watch movies Jimmy: 🥱😴 Janis: 😱😱 BABES Janis: 😭 Jimmy: SOZ Janis: you are SO uninvited from the gangbang now Jimmy: 😭😭😭 Janis: it's me who's a 🍆 down Janis: you're so selfish Jimmy: if you've still got that 🪒 it's easily sorted Janis: bit rapey Janis: 😎☕ is basically an open invitation in this place Jimmy: no need to just castrate me with your 🗨 Jimmy: there's my consent Janis: you aren't bleeding out yet Janis: sorry Jimmy: I'll stop it with the steam wand Janis: ooh Janis: resourceful Jimmy: Oi, don't sound so surprised, dickhead Janis: I didn't expect you to have really considered castration that much, tbh Janis: but yes 💪🧠 Jimmy: never gonna unlock all my kinks with that attitude Janis: 😂 Janis: you're keeping the list 🔒 Jimmy: when you're ready for it, I'll give you the bulletpoints Janis: How am I not ready for it? Jimmy: you're here for a start Jimmy: what are we gonna do get a wet floor sign out and stick a 🧹 through the door handle? Janis: are we going to do that? Jimmy: that on your list? Janis: Well, it is now Jimmy: good, 'cause we ain't gonna have time to do more than the one ✔ before Doris is kicking off for her ☕ or invite Janis: She can wait Janis: I don't want to share you right now Jimmy: [showing up for 😈 antics because his manager ain't here and we don't care what our co-workers think] Janis: [live your best lives guys there is no reason not to] Jimmy: [Pete if you're here ILY and you would do the exact same with your gf so but fuck the rest of y'all truly] Janis: [maybe not exactly the same if you're a little less extra but yes, we aren't interested] Jimmy: [you're a bit older and chiller but you know] Janis: [soz you aren't living a romcom lmao god bless] Jimmy: [JJ out here doing the most and living their dreams from day 1] Janis: [we just skirting around our trauma and trying to live and be young and I love that for you] Jimmy: [literally imagine just having to go back to work like 👋 in a bit as if that didn't just happen I always die thinking about stuff like this] Janis: [lol your life, hence I think you should go back out shopping for a bit girl 'til he's ready to leave] Jimmy: [thank god you're both shameless because even though nobody would've heard anything with the christmas tunes and how busy it is, everyone totally knows] Janis: [y'all aren't subtle, enjoy the #bants and/or disgust from your coworkers Jimothy soz] Jimmy: [making friends everywhere he goes, you're welcome for the fact you're gonna get sacked from here because you're not leaving Dublin in a hot sec like you think you are] Janis: [you're all teens/young adults, y'all be getting messy in all the ways, don't judge lol] Jimmy: [mhmm and we know the kinda hipster peeps who be working there ain't it so shhh] Janis: that girl with the pink hair and neck tat gave me the biggest evils Jimmy: it's just her face Jimmy: 😒 part of our uniform Jimmy: and her hair's rose gold, very festive of her, get it right Janis: roots down to her eyebrows and all Janis: tell your girlfriend she's safe it's #fake Jimmy: oh Ashleeeee Jimmy: I'll tell her to get down the salon Janis: or stick a santa hat on Janis: problem solved if she covers her face with it too Jimmy: she'd probably make a better ☕ blind an' all Janis: you're 🥇 are you? Jimmy: you're asking questions you know the answer to again Janis: I don't drink it, I can't comment Jimmy: it weren't a #humblebrag she's a 🎄 temp, can't do fuck all but 😒 and gone before her roots'll reach her chin Janis: makes sense Janis: least you can blame the 🐄☕ on her Jimmy: except 💀👑 and co's, reckon they'll know that were me, if they ever know Janis: none of them are asking for no 🐄 'cos it makes them shit their brains out Janis: but that extra 1/8 lbs will give it away 😣 😖 😫 😩 🥺 😢 😭 😤 😠 😡 🤬 🤯 Jimmy: if it made 'em 💩 they'd ask for it, hoard the laxatives for another day, I get it Janis: True Janis: 🙄 Jimmy: soz if you find any 💩 in the changing rooms though, mate Jimmy: 🐄☕ well into double figures Janis: that's just any other day for Penney's Janis: but I'll sign your name if you like Jimmy: Tah Janis: gold sharpie Janis: make it festive Jimmy: just like that, going from muse to artist, you Janis: A ⭐ is born Janis: don't ruin it for me when I get my grammy and you're an alcoholic Jimmy: nowt fake about their 💕 Jimmy: if you don't go that hard for me when my missus, Ashlee is front row, you ain't having that oscar Janis: 😏 Janis: only to catch her 😒 on camera Jimmy: bollocks, in it for the 👏👏🌹👏 you Janis: you're just in it to be serenaded so don't @ me mate Jimmy: not denying it Janis: 😍 x1000 Jimmy: owt to give me a break from these fucking 🎄🎵 Janis: reckon the staff here have gone full zombie Janis: 💀 in the 👀 and 🧠 Jimmy: bit rude of you not to leave me for 💀💀💀 back there Jimmy: could be us rotting but you're playing 💔 Janis: Rosie was gonna passive-aggressively ask me to buy something or leave if I didn't Jimmy: taking orders from her'll do nowt for them gay rumours Jimmy: need a #LAD to tell you what to do, duh Jimmy: I'll give you a shout when I find one Janis: Shut up, s'why I left before she could say fuck all Janis: and how are there gonna be any gay rumours when the reason she's pissed off is 'cos she's jealous Jimmy: depends who she's jealous of Janis: if she's gay that's her problem Janis: but she's jealous of me, FYI Janis: take the compliment Jimmy: don't sound like me, that Jimmy: you're the 👏👏🌹👏 chaser Janis: 1. rude 2. bollocks Jimmy: 1. ain't much of a compliment if she fancies me 2. I'll have you know my head's genetically this big Janis: you know what you look like and you're well 😏 about it Janis: not saying you're wrong Jimmy: I know what she looks like an' all Janis: not like she's the only one 😍 is it Jimmy: my inbox is as full as yours Janis: yeah Jimmy: so you've got nowt to be jealous of Janis: I'm not jealous Jimmy: what then? Janis: I'm just saying she is Janis: fuck sake big head, don't get it twisted Jimmy: don't get a mard on Janis: I'm not, idiot Jimmy: 👌 Janis: Are you? Jimmy: ? Janis: in a mood? Jimmy: why would I be? Janis: I don't know Janis: why would I be, like Jimmy: 😒 ain't in your job description Janis: I'm not Janis: I only left so you could actually get some work done Janis: that's all Jimmy: alright Janis: don't actually care what your coworkers reckon but you do have to work with them Janis: least for a while longer Jimmy: I'll live Janis: it's about making shit easier Janis: not harder, yeah Jimmy: you did Jimmy: not saying I'm 😁👍 or nowt but Janis: not even a little? Janis: shit review, that Jimmy: you can have one of the dead eyed ones 😀 or 😃 Janis: I'd rather 😒 Jimmy: [a 😒 selfie like there you go ILY] Janis: tah Jimmy: I rate you, you know I do Janis: shh Jimmy: not gonna sing it but Janis: if we've got to be a romcom Janis: not being one with a musical number Jimmy: won't argue 🤐 Jimmy: #notallnortherners 🎭🩰🎤 Janis: you're warning me how embarrassing you're gonna be at this party Janis: I get it Jimmy: can't say you ain't been now Jimmy: #notalldaddys an' all Jimmy: dickhead dad if I'm owt Janis: however goals that may be Janis: I'd sooner grate my face off Jimmy: you always know EXACTLY what to say Jimmy: really fulfil my nursing kink, that will Janis: how great would you look if you stayed with me Janis: my only positive, gone Jimmy: Piss off Jimmy: be even more mysterious to make up for losing how fit you are Janis: 😶😶😶 Janis: what is she thinking Jimmy: 🤯🤯🤯 Janis: do you if you like Janis: #muteandcute Jimmy: the couple who self harms together are obvs gonna stay together Janis: 💀💀 means forever 😃😃 Jimmy: long as it don't backfire when everyone reckons I've been cracking onto Asia's dad 💋 Janis: reunite 'em for the holidays Janis: ✨💕 Jimmy: you're really earning that 😇 costume for tonight Janis: you'll still steal the show, babe Jimmy: you ARE the show, babe 👀🍿🔪 Jimmy: Ashleeeeeee's got nowt on 💀👑 Jimmy: or my long lens Janis: 😂 Janis: dope Jimmy: promise not to do you like princess di, know you'd hate everyone going on about you for that long Janis: what good is 👏👏🌹👏 if I can't 👂 Janis: obvs Jimmy: 👻 perks Jimmy: get to be a right nosy dickhead forever Janis: suits you Janis: no 🧛 perks except the taste Jimmy: 🦷🦷 suit you Jimmy: what about 💪🏆🏃🥇? Janis: that's just me Jimmy: SUCH an athlete Jimmy: I've heard Janis: I'll show you if you ever stop fussing and nursing Jimmy: BUT 🥺 Janis: I know Janis: but I need a redemption arc Jimmy: nowt wrong with 😈 Janis: falling on my arse though Janis: 👎 Jimmy: 👍 for me Jimmy: but I get it, you wanna impress me Janis: if I wanted to impress you, I just would Janis: it's easy Jimmy: 🗨 is Janis: you'll 👀 Jimmy: *📷 Janis: if you can catch me Jimmy: challenge accepted Janis: 💪 Jimmy: tah very much, compliment accepted an' all Janis: when you out? Jimmy: [a time which I hope isn't forever away because work sucks enough without your co-workers gossiping about your love life] Janis: 👍 Janis: might compliment you then Jimmy: you find a party? Janis: [a selection of, 'cos these teens are extra] Jimmy: we gonna #bless the one or do a tour? Janis: a tour is actually a good idea Janis: fuck it up Janis: go before it's really shit Jimmy: there you go again sounding 😱😱 that I've had a 🥇💡 Janis: like I'm meant to reckon every 💭 you have is golden Jimmy: glad we're on the same 📖 FINALLY Janis: 🙄 Janis: I'm on a whole new book, babes Jimmy: alright, give us a chance Jimmy: basically illiterate Janis: awh Janis: keep practising on those coffee cups hun Jimmy: good job I nicked our kid's 🖍 Janis: long as it weren't a swap Jimmy: @ nspcc Janis: you're alright Janis: this country is infamous for not giving a shit about kids Jimmy: that'll be why Ian brought us here Janis: if he tries to give you to some nuns, run Jimmy: into their arms #kinkunlocked Janis: sure that's another costume Janis: want an outfit change? Jimmy: not very festive though, is it? Jimmy: if I were the baby Jesus, that's one thing, but his groupies Janis: well you can't go as baby Jesus Janis: that's obscene Janis: and where am I getting a loincloth as this hour, thank you Jimmy: such a letdown, you Jimmy: seen you piss about and craft a 🐑 for fuck's sake, it's ALMOST like you DON'T WANT to make this happen for me Janis: it's almost like you're a complete exhibitionist Jimmy: Lucas would support me, knew I should've picked him Janis: no one's stopping you Jimmy: UGH and now you're not even gonna fight for me 😭😭 Janis: you'll come crawling back when he's trying to pick up more 12 year olds again Jimmy: less of a rom com more of a crimewatch reconstruction Janis: you, the clueless wife who had NO idea Janis: sure, Sharon Janis: turning a blind eye so you didn't have to fuck him Jimmy: chuffed he's pissing off out so I can watch telly without his loud breathing doing my head in Janis: You're an Emmerdale fan, definitely Janis: neighbours and home and away in the afternoons Jimmy: Doctors is my top pic though obvs Janis: your only friends are the characters in your stories Janis: sad, honestly Jimmy: Oi don't forget the 🐩 I'm starting to look like Jimmy: it hates me, obvs, so I get why you didn't 💭 Janis: it doesn't want you to baby it but it's all you wanted it for Jimmy: he won't put a 👶 in me and that's 💔 but OMG it's just like one of my fave plots #conflicted Janis: Sharon, you're barren Janis: you need to come to terms with it Jimmy: DUN DUN DUN Jimmy: but it's me doing my own piss poor drum roll Janis: 😂 meanwhile, casual serial killer b plot with your mans Jimmy: Sharon, you're having a mental breakdown Jimmy: this is a REAL doctor's office Janis: not you trying to seduce your fave doctor and it's actually your GP and he's gonna call the psych ward Jimmy: 🚨🚨🚨 Jimmy: your man is gonna pin his crimes on you, hun Janis: omg Janis: when the truth outs, you're gonna be fully gone Janis: maybe in a cheeky coma Jimmy: bit of amnesia so I reckon I did do it an' all Janis: oh god Janis: so like a woman Janis: just lethal inject me 'cos I'm a monster who can't even have kids Jimmy: Oh Sharon Janis: Lucas will keep getting away with it for 4 more seasons Janis: then your ghost will pop up and it'll all get sorted in an ep Jimmy: I'll work with the 👻s of his victims, grab a spin off out of it Janis: full circle, you watching your show from your armchair in your dark, depressing lounge Jimmy: 🎨 Janis: welcome for the A on your next art project Jimmy: IOU Janis: not bothered about credit Jimmy: alright, what do you want? Janis: 🤔 Jimmy: go on Janis: I need to think of an idea right now? Jimmy: 🚫⏲ Jimmy: just no need to hold back if you've already got one Janis: I'll take my time Janis: no point saying something now, thinking of something I want more later Jimmy: won't have you 🖋🩸 it's alright Jimmy: if you change your mind, just tell me that Janis: you're bad at business Jimmy: that'll be why I ain't the manager Janis: 💔 babe Janis: the free time you'd have 🤯🤯 Jimmy: could train my own 🐕 Janis: hey now Janis: that's my 💰 Jimmy: real 💔 Janis: in it for the 👏👏🌹👏💰💰 Jimmy: I got that Janis: 👍 Jimmy: 👍 Janis: hush Janis: got outfits to buy and christmas tunes to hear for the 42nd time today Jimmy: I won't serenade you then Janis: if you can get a christmas 🥇 then I will 👰💍🤵 for the royalties Jimmy: alright, piss off I need to crack on with that and you've got a 👰💍🤵 to plan Janis: 👋😘 Jimmy: 💕 Janis: [party time] Jimmy: [obvs we just want them to have a nice time but have you got anything specific in mind?] Janis: [hmm, obvs the main party is tomorrow, so we can be more chill, but we can also make drama if we want 'cos yolo] Jimmy: [I was thinking at one of the parties they hit they should see Mia cheating again cos Pablo is on the outs and also she just would anyway] Jimmy: [but that could be today or tomorrow like] Janis: [we should do today 'cos you ain't the focus tomorrow remotely hun, and it's just fun] Jimmy: [agreed, the focus tomorrow is being festive af as always, as much fluff as I can clutch with my grabby hands] Janis: [so if anything, get drama that isn't them, aka flat whites etc out tonight] Jimmy: [love it because Mia would think she was being so sneaky but we see you hen] Janis: [merry christmas beech] Jimmy: [gather that blackmail lads, you'll want it when she gets him sacked by being a Karen] Janis: [yep thanks for not before xmas at least] Jimmy: [I'm sure she's wishing she could rn] Janis: [too bad you walked out in disgust lmao it got so much worse] Jimmy: [sucks to suck gals] Janis: [what drama can we do with y'all hmm] Jimmy: [unrelated but can we say they're drunk in love enough that he stays at mcvickers because Ian sucks and we don't need that in our lives] Janis: [yes, just know the Libi is gonna come in in the AM to wake you up and out you lol] Jimmy: [ngl LOVE that even if you two won't] Janis: [in my mind if she ain't snuck in Janis' bed before she's even home, she comes in well early as kids do so LOL] Jimmy: [he's used to that with Bobby cos that boy is always sleeping with him we know] Janis: [and I alluded to it in a previous convo so go us, anyway, yes, that can totally happen, it wouldn't be far if he had to run so makes sense] Jimmy: [it's beyond obvious that you both never wanna leave each other so] Janis: [let's not lie to ourselves lads except lowkey we do lol] Jimmy: [tbf this is the first time you've had a chance to get drunk together since fake dating started cos we didn't have enough booze on the school trip and unlike the flatwhites you aren't lightweights who got drunk during that friendmas game sesh] Janis: [hohohohohoh the potential] Jimmy: [evil laugh x 3 because Winnie is too] Janis: [let's hit up this first shit party, idk if she genuinely got you a costume to put on or what, Imma say yeah but idk if I have anything particularly festive for you so I'll have to look] Jimmy: [I hope she did, what's more festive than crossdressing] Janis: [get it boy, you'll look hot and no one can deny] Jimmy: [she should be an angel like in Hazel's book even if we can't document the lewk] Janis: [I'm sure I'll be able to find that content somehow] Jimmy: [I'm not even gonna try because I know I won't, Ezra Miller and Harry Styles can only do so much and I don't think they've been festive lol] Janis: [yeah, I'm trying to think of like a movie or something where it was a thing hmm] Janis: [oh, the try guys do it, maybe eugene?] Jimmy: [body shots have to happen at one of these shit parties because #mood] Janis: [very easily done with your lewks lol] Jimmy: [that's what I was thinking, just think of all the love bites there would actually be too though what a statement] Janis: [turns up to your function in no clothes, excuse me, y'all are already on one today, there will be no chill we know it] Jimmy: [tipsy before we get there as well tah Ian] Janis: [thank you for nothing but that dickhead] Jimmy: [and actually being there for once so he can stay at mcvickers and be a carefree teen] Janis: [I mean yes but you are those kids dad not jimothy so I will not applaud you] Jimmy: [doing the least and we hate you so much] Janis: [I think Mia should be at the first party and we can catch her whilst we're still a bit sober lol] Jimmy: [yeah definitely one of the earlier ones, it makes sense for that reason and because the parties would obvs start out more basic and get wilder as the night goes on cos most people aren't throwing a rager on christmas eve eve] Janis: [yeah, and if she's at some party that's trying to be sophisticated and lowkey and then they show up 1. LOL 2. she would be caught unawares] Jimmy: [ooh what if she's just gone out with Ella and not the others so it's double tea because that's not in the friendmas spirit] Janis: [I really imagined a date and I was like lovely haha, but totally a vibe, pretending they're busy if the other gals are at another party or whatever] Jimmy: [I might fuck around and give Jimothy an injury of some sort for christmas cos tis the season and Ian is 100% that bitch] Janis: [yeah, he is, a vibe, but not, so rude] Jimmy: [it's gonna have to be christmas eve or day cos they are going to Skerries for boxing day so note to self] Janis: [what if what if that's why she goes to see him xmas day, ultimate rudeness Ian] Jimmy: [yeah because we did say they must] Janis: [dunno where you're huffing off to ian but uninterested, we must] Jimmy: [and then it makes even more sense why they go to Skerries/don't try very hard to come back when they get snowed in, not desperate to spend time with you sir ] Janis: [it all makes sense, also remember the ice bath we can make you a snow pack] Jimmy: [so yeah after whatever they're doing christmas eve, remind me he's gotta go home alone so that can kick off] Jimmy: [also if people have been stupid enough to leave presents under their trees they should steal some] Janis: [noteddd, that's so grinchy and why you don't have xmas parties but with friends people, you deserve it lol, also if we wanna do some messaging, they could lose Mia and have to split up to find her rn, could be amusing] Jimmy: [not all the gifts thank you lads but at least one from every party that it's an option as a memento, ooh good idea boo] Janis: report back, scooby Janis: I'm in the bogs, no sign 😱 Jimmy: leave your 🐕 fetish out of it and concentrate Jimmy: she ain't outside ⛄ Janis: alright, you wanna be daphne Janis: full bimbo now Jimmy: piss off do I wanna be a ginger Jimmy: have a word with yourself Janis: omg VELMA 🤓 Jimmy: how am I not Fred dressed like this? Janis: he was so fashionable Janis: I wanna be Fred though so fuck you Jimmy: UGH fine Jimmy: I know you're 🤓 and I'm him but crack on lying to yourself Janis: that's rude Janis: don't make me your #2 Jimmy: if the glasses fit, girl Janis: 😡 Janis: i'm going kitchen Janis: it's a long shot but i'm getting drink for me and none for you Jimmy: smash some glasses and plates, you'll calm down Jimmy: or you know, make me a 🥪 Janis: knuckle sandwich Jimmy: 😍😍 Janis: so distracting Jimmy: you Janis: nah Janis: we're on a mission focus your 😍😍 Jimmy: [sending her pics of #bants things like I've found her, oh no wait] Janis: [have a lil game, nerds] Jimmy: [obvs you're gonna have to find her eventually I doubt there's that many places she could be so be silly while you can] Janis: Jim I've found her Janis: omg Janis: come here Jimmy: [does even though he's expecting a pisstake] Janis: [hopefully this house isn't that big because you did not tell him anything there lmao, also be quiet or she'll see and you'll ruin it] Jimmy: [she said she was heading to the kitchen so likewise and we'll cross paths lol] Jimmy: 😱😱😱 Janis: [you're so conspicuous rn god bless, but keep an eye on her best you can until you can get dirt] Janis: be 😎 nerd Jimmy: keep your head down 🦒 Janis: i'd say make me but you'll just be 😍😍 Jimmy: [a LOOK that's meant to be pisstakey like what am I like but it's just shamelessly a LOOK lol] Janis: [you know when bitches always kiss in movies when they need to hide, doing that, as if there is a need okay] Jimmy: [love that for you] Janis: [oh the tropes, at least you won't seem arsed by Mia remotely so she'll let her guard down lol] Jimmy: [we're just a lad getting covered in silver, you can relax Mia] Jimmy: [will style that into a 🎅 beard because he's an art hoe] Janis: [what a lewk you two can share] Jimmy: [doing a semi decent job of lip reading Mia even though he's not deaf and whispering to her what he's worked out, doesn't technically need to whisper but the excuse is we're being inconspicuous] Janis: [doing the most to pretend he's being scandalous in ya ear but we listening for real obvs and making our 😳🤤 responses make sense 'do you think there's a free room going?' like do you reckon we'll catch her at it, again] Jimmy: [telling her about all the places he found that you could fuck when he was searching for her, which is lowkey suggestive af boy especially because Mia isn't as shameless as you pair and wouldn't hook up in some of these places] Janis: [telling him which you wanna do first but it's actually where you reckon she might if she's gonna] Jimmy: [agreeing because you agree that it's likely and you're on the same page here] Janis: 🕡 Jimmy: *⏲ Janis: same diff Janis: can't lose 👀 on her Janis: what do we do to kill time without being too distracted Jimmy: 🍻? Janis: [goes to get drink like okay] Jimmy: [is 👀ing you Mia] Janis: gonna suggest this to the gals next time I see em Jimmy: they already follow her about Janis: clealy ain't as good at it as us Janis: but no Janis: the face paint Janis: if you kissed anyone else i'd know instantly Jimmy: bit rude to call me a slag for how I'm dressed but Janis: is it though Jimmy: I just happen to be a slag, alright? Jimmy: nowt to do with any of this Jimmy: [gestures to the lewk] Janis: [looks at him for ages like we forgot what we're doing] Janis: alright Jimmy: are you? Jimmy: [😏 af] Janis: [🖕 which can at least look bantsy to the fans] Jimmy: [a lol soz if that's not inconspicuous hun but the bae is funny] Janis: [bring him a drink back, after taking a massive swig from his like ha ha] Jimmy: [taking pics of her because an angel being 😈] Jimmy: [likewise have forgotten what we're supposed to be doing here for a sec] Janis: [casual photoshoot, be a shame to waste your outfits] Jimmy: [Mia's got no game lbr, you've got time] Janis: [god knows the state of this lad by the time she's ready lol] Jimmy: [another good reason it's an earlier party don't be having a Buster and Chloe rapey situation Mia] Janis: [at least you truly would be as gone, that's the vibe not that] Jimmy: [if your father could see you now hun] Janis: [#disappointeddaddy] Jimmy: [I wish they could call him like come get your daughter but we need this hook up to happen first] Janis: [they should genuinely then bounce though lmao she would actually be so fuming] Jimmy: [don't do it yourself though Jimothy the accent is a dead giveaway, get the bae on it] Janis: [seriously, do some voice work hen, at least a party helps that he'll barely be able to hear, use the house phone] Jimmy: [merry christmas bitch, enjoy the trouble you'll be in] Janis: [hohaha, ANYWAYS, we know you can't stop looking at him gal, how you manage this at all is lowkey impressive lol] Jimmy: [when you get to the second party/on the way there haha you can be as extra as you want, that mission is done and dusted] Janis: [we're so buzzing with ourselves at the prospect of ruining her xmas, practically skip there lmao] Jimmy: [don't you twist you ankle boy as hilarious as that would be] Janis: [we can't have more injuries, and you'd make a right mess of yourself if you fell, it's freezing and you've got no clothes on lol] Jimmy: [yeah that's not festive or goals so be careful please] Janis: [what do we wanna do at this next party then] Jimmy: [just have a nice time tbh lads] Janis: [just partay] Jimmy: [do them body shots and other drinking games cos we're having a messy one and we're competitive af] Janis: [get crunkalunk honey, we can skip to when he's left in the AM now if we wanna] Janis: [after Libi has come in and is like WHERE'S BOBBY as if they also have him tucked up in the bed] Jimmy: [unless there's anything that gets said or done when they're drunk af that we need to know, we know the vibes] Jimmy: [Oh Libi I love you so much but they should facetime him on Cass' phone cos she'll be THRILLED cos you know he's sleeping there and nobody sleeps in that house except Ian] Janis: [ooh, good point actually, we'll do that] Janis: [but yes, poor Jimothy like come sign bitch we gotta talk about santa] Jimmy: [god bless, when you just wanna sleep and snuggle your bae but you got so many jobs] Janis: [being like YOU GOT YOUR COOKIES YOU GOT YOUR MILK AND CARROTS like a checklist 'cos I remember how exciting xmas eve was you were lowkey hysterical all day] Jimmy: [plotting how you're gonna stay awake and peep Santa with those gifts] Janis: [just looking at Jimmy like you ain't gonna get no sleep lol] Jimmy: [mouthing at her to kill you away from the lip reading expert's gaze cos you can't do a dramatic death scene rn the kids are chatting a mile a minute] Janis: [pew pew at his head, also mcvickers gonna be fuming lad] Jimmy: [at least you can leave without having to see them cos that staircase] Janis: [chase you away lmao] Jimmy: [hold in the wee that you clearly will need, your house isn't far] Janis: [run boy run, but we'll throw it back to the end of your partying now] Jimmy: [we should start it as a 🚬 break because that's always good for feels and closeness when it's cold and you're half naked even if we're drunk enough not to feel it] Janis: [just drunkenly telling him about crayon colours we looked up lol] Jimmy: [guessing the colours based on their weird names unless it's obvs and then we're just pisstaking] Janis: [there's some wild ones hun, we're probably making up loads too] Jimmy: [likewise but writing them on her so she has to try and work it out when we could just say it] Janis: [we know where this is devolving and fast, wherever you are not being suitable so you're like hmpf] Jimmy: [on some random person's garden furniture that they should've brought in for the winter but have not] Janis: [you're both gonna start shivering before long so walk in the direction of the houses tah] Jimmy: [handholding and doing the little swinging thing because you've been spending all this time with the bubs] Janis: [loling at him] Jimmy: [playfully nudge her like excuse you but don't push her over because of that drunk and slippy combo please] Janis: ['you're such a nerd, you know'] Jimmy: ['Piss off' but the tone is less fuck off and more yeah I know but so are you] Janis: ['fine' and goes to walk off but likewise is joking so doesn't really] Jimmy: [nevertheless pulling her back and close into you as if she's really going because don't] Janis: ['you want me to stay?' even though you know 'cos how close you are rn] Jimmy: ['don't you want to?' even though she clearly do] Janis: [thinking he's making a point about asking stupid questions like 😏 fine] Jimmy: [just softly touching that 😏 face looking at her like no tell me you want to because we're drunk enough to have been genuinely asking and wanting an answer] Janis: ['I just want you to tell me' shrugs 'no confusion'] Jimmy: ['I just want you' because true] Janis: ['go on then' like it's a challenge but you say it so soft so like it's not] Jimmy: [the most intense kiss ever not even because it's a challenge but because the emotions are just that high okay] Janis: [no time to even talk just taking him by the hand back to yours aka mcvickers not all that way lol] Jimmy: [for a million reasons I hope whatever house you were at isn't far from there but the main one being all the kissing pauses there will be along the way regardless because that's the mood we're in] Janis: [we ain't even gon make it home energy] Jimmy: [100% support that always] Janis: [but you do, and frankly, I don't condone ladder climbing in this state so like be quiet and go in the real way] Jimmy: [that'll be a #mood in itself so] Janis: [getting him out of that santa outfit folornly like you are devvo lol] Jimmy: [gal if you're doing a pouty lip in any way you know what's gonna happen] Janis: [but of course 'why don't you care what people think?' once you can get words out again] Jimmy: ['I care what you think' because we're drunk so we can answer a question and answer it honestly] Janis: ['really?' and a confusion face] Jimmy: [😍 af about her cute expression so we lowkey forget about the question] Janis: [nudge] Jimmy: [a look like ?] Janis: ['why do you care?'] Jimmy: ['about you?' when you were only talking about what she thinks but we're drunk and we've gone deeper with it] Janis: [nods like sure, as you brought it up] Jimmy: ['it's less shit being here 'cause of you, if nowt else you should have the same back off me'] Janis: [when you can't help smile at that 'I don't want you to leave Dublin'] Jimmy: ['I'll stay' like it's that simple remotely but it is when you're drunk af] Janis: ['but you hate it here' and a look like same, obvs] Jimmy: ['I hate it everywhere' because again true] Janis: ['me too' not even trying to be banty like literally yeah same] Jimmy: [a little snugg because we don't want the bae to be sad] Janis: [snugging and sighing 'this is so weird'] Jimmy: [an even bigger sigh because it is and you don't want it to be and just saying sorry in the quietest softest voice like did you even actually say that or no] Janis: [at least it's that quiet 'cos you're meant to be that you would hear and you're shaking your head like no no 'not now, specifically or...it's not your fault, you know' 'cos you mean this whole situation for you 'cos you've never and you're like how did this happen so fast and when did we get here] Jimmy: [a shrug because he thinks everything is his fault always thanks Ian so it's like I don't know/believe that actually but we also don't think the bae is full of shit like we think a lot of people are so it's a confusing and conflicting tangle of thoughts up in here as well cos likewise has also never felt like this or expected any of this when he suggested it lol] Janis: ['I mean it' and properly looking at him but not really driving the point home harder than that right now/yet 'it's okay though, isn't it?'] Jimmy: [a nod that encompasses all the things 'are you?' cos if she's okay that's all that matters bye] Janis: ['is it a dealbreaker?' trying to make light of the fact it's like not really no] Jimmy: ['only if you're breaking our deal' like it's not okay if you don't wanna do this anymore even though it's a headfuck because ILY and I will die] Janis: ['I don't want to'] Jimmy: ['what do you want?' as if we don't know sir] Janis: [poke him in the chest] Jimmy: [just resting his hand over hers like okay I accept that and will turn it into a soft gesture] Janis: [when that lowkey says so much about the dynamic and we can't handle it 'let's just-' and kissing him] Jimmy: [kissing will always be easier so I'll allow it kids] Janis: [do that and more 'til you pass out probably 'cos honestly] Jimmy: [gonna let you say her name during at least once if you want boy because we're both not remembering this and we know it'll hit different sober anyway] Janis: [andioop soz you're trashed huns] Jimmy: [but not because it gives us freedom to do things y'all ain't ready for yet] Jimmy: [but soz that Libi will be waking you up early af]

[solo1y]

A Facebook Convo; 7 Years Ago

Timothy O'Fallon [in a status update about his bible study group]: Let's do this Hemingway style (except badly): Exodus. Tomorrow. We journey The Bible in 1 Year then. And it will be 10AM. Climb the steps to the class above the Cafe at CCC. You might hear something new. You might not. More than likely you will. I would enjoy seeing you there. Well, except for Barry Purcell. Everyone else.

Barry Purcell [me]: You're full of bravado when you have the machinery of Florida's justice system behind you, aren't you? Remember, the restraining order runs out in two weeks. Then I can show up to your bible class any time I like and not a single person in this fine democratic nation you have can stop me.

Stupid joke time - "I had to go to a talk about Exodus, but I managed to get out of it."

Tim: That's the day I will teach the class using the gift of Tongues, Barry. And you can interpret. Ha ha! Er...wait...

Barry: I'd probably translate incorrectly: "And lo he said unto Ezekiel, 'I am shuffling. Yea, verily even unto Israel am I shuffling every day.' And every day he was shuffling."

Tim: But does He stack the deck? That's the controversy you know.

Barry: I guess if he's the one who built the deck in the first place, it would be technically impossible for him to "stack" it.

Tim: I'm telling you, you could teach this class

Barry: I don't think so, Tim. At the end of every class, I'd have to say "Just don't take any of it literally", which is probably anathema to the standards and practices department.

Tim: That would work for everything except for the stuff that was intended to be taken literally

Barry: The further back in time you go, the more likely that it's a more helpful approach to the material, regardless of the intentions of the author.

Tim: Chronological snobbery! Personally, I subscribe to the notion that determining what people mean when they say or write something is critical to understanding what they said or wrote...no matter how far back you go.

Barry: The further back you go, the less literally you have to take what was written in order to understand it. Not only are the earliest documents historically inaccurate, but they don't seem to understand "historical accuracy" even in theory. It's a relatively modern idea which we are imposing on the ancient texts, expecting them to bend to our conception of what "accurate" means. Whose fault is it when they snap under the strain?

A wonderful example is the literature of prophecy, which always, without exception, tells you nothing at all about the future and everything about the people making the predictions. This is true of all predictions made my any people in any culture, ever. But you'll miss that entire layer of reality if you interpret the prophecies literally.

Tim: I see historians (including very good ones) impose modern ideas of history on ancient texts all the time. Finding instances of that sort of thing is one of my most amusing pasttimes (pathetic, I know). But we mustn't mistake that sort of misdeed with the equally false notion that the ancients never intended to relate something that actually happened. That's not a modern idea at all, any more than the embellishment of events is exclusively an ancient habit. There is far less separating you and I from an ancient Chinese calligrapher or an Akkadian scribe than not, a fact that modern historians are at great pains to point out in every area of life except that of writing. Again, I find that amusing. And again, I continue to find it instructive and intellectually fulfilling to try to discern what an ancient writer actually inteded to say. In the case of Scripture, I find it a lot more than intellectually fulfilling. *********** Regarding prophecy, of course prophecy tells you nothing about the future if in fact prophetic prediction of the future is impossible. Ever. But one thing it DOES dell you abou the "people making the predictions" is that they were the sort of people who believed you could make true predictions about future events. And again I find that at least in this way, they aren't much different than me. And this adds a layer of "reality" to me that a skeptic, by definition, cannot attain.

Barry: I'm a skeptic and I accept that they were the sort of people who believed you could make true predictions about future events. You get those sorts of people today too, and their predictions are just as accurate at predicting the future.

Also, it's not so much that they never intended to reflect reality, it's that they would have been unaware of the psychological construct of a 'metaphor'. They frequently used metaphors to reflect their reality in a way that we wouldn't, at least not without flagging it down first. It wasn't a question of 'accurate' or 'inaccurate'. They just didn't think of things in those modern terms. However, as you say, once you are made aware of the common symbol database to which all our cultures refer (thanks to the good work of people like Joe Campbell, Carl Jung and James Frazer inter alia), it becomes easier to work out what the authors of these ancient works were getting at.

As far as I know, the Greeks were the first people to understand this, the first people to question their divine myths, the first people to even be aware of the fact that they could be questioned, and hence philosophy.

Tim: The Greeks were not the first people to question their divine myths, though they may have been among the first to misunderstand their own myths, or mythology itself for that matter. Their work in that area has certainly flourished in modern times. And becoming aware of the symbol databases to which all our cultures refer does indeed, in my view, give us some excellent tools to misunderstand the ancients more conveniently. As far as the ancient unawareness of the psychological construct of a metaphor goes, if by that you mean that they used metaphor much more brilliantly than we do today, and that in most cases they had a much greater understanding of how it ought to be used, I would agree with you wholeheartedly. And you missed my point about the skeptic (I am a skeptic too, just about different things). It was a joke. The skeptic can't share the layer of reality in which he identifies with the belief in prophecy. Now that I've explained it, it doesn't seem funny any more.

Barry: Oh well if you're identifying with prophecy in the sense that you think it's true, then yes. That facility will be denied the skeptic. At least until one of them comes true. Then the skeptics will all be on board.

I don't think they used the metaphor more brilliantly than we do. It was just a different way of looking at things. The Greeks may have misunderstood their own myths, but let us not forget that Socrates, the inventor of philosophy (more or less) got sentence to death specifically for the crime of blasphemy.

Timothy: Of course they won't be on board. See, told you I was a skeptic on some things. **** The way the ancients looked at metaphore was infinitely more mature, subtle, and poetic than the modern method. That's what I meant by brilliant. Admittedly, they were less encumbered by psychological theory and the new philology, but I think that's a good thing. And Socrates was sentenced to death in part for blasphemy, but everyone then as now knew very well that is not why he was sentenced to death. You might say he died of metaphor.

Barry: Blasphemy was the charge on the ticket, but of course he was killed for more practical reasons.

Socrates had absolutely no fear of anything; felt like he was on a divine quest to improve the lives of everyone in the world; never wrote anything down himself (so we are forced to rely on the accounts, often written long after his death, of others who make various claims on him); amassed a small gang of followers who delighted in his witty and intellectual take-downs of establishment and authority figures; tried and failed to reject his responsibilities; had his early life (at least the first 30 years) completely shrouded in mystery, relegated to one or two anecdotes; refused to defend himself properly against the charges of blasphemy when called upon to do so; accepted the death sentence even though it was well within his power to avoid it; and ultimately put more value on the truth than his own life.

You might indeed say that he "died of metaphor".

Tim: And we know all this about him because we believe we have ascertained the intent of those ancients who wrote about him. Barry, listen, I just think that when we apply modern theories of interpretation to ancient authors (the "what he REALLY must have meant (even without realizing it)" school of interpretation, we do the author a disservice. And I think we are further from understanding him or her, not closer. For example, I doubt very much I have ever met anyone in my life more misinterpreted than you. I see it happen all the time: you say something clever, it gets interpreted as a personal insult, and a personal insult gets thrown at you in return for your non-insult. But unlike the ancient authors, you are right here to clarify what you intended. Still, the person who originally misinterpreted your intent holds fast to their misinterpretation. It is comic and a little sad. But it shows that people prefer to interpret things based on their perception of things (such as the perception that you are an offensive little snit) rather than the intent of the author. Imagine, if it is that bad for you, how badly our modern perceptions - even ones not formulated by the Jungian school - mangle the intent of the ancients, who aren;t even here to clarify. In my class, I teach (or try to) on the theory that before we can evaluate anything about a text, we first need to do our best to figure out what the original author of that text intended it to mean. Sometimes, as you pointed out, they have a different way of looking at things than we do, and so of course that goes into determining their intent as well. But I do not subscribe to the notion that just because an author is ancient, that he thinks COMPLETELY differently than we do, or that the further back we go the more alien it is when he writes "the emperor made a sacrifice to the gods to cure his toothache" (oracle bones) or "and he shall be like a tree planted by the rivers of water that bringeth forth his fruit in his season; his leaf also shall not wither, and whatsoever he doeth shall prosper"(psalm 1). The intent of the author is comprehensible because we are more alike than not; the distance between us in time does little to distance us in basic inference or the conceptions that follow from it.

Barry: Fair enough. My original concern was that not so much that we might think of modern ways of interpreting texts as "better", but that we would subconsciously parse all those ancient texts through our modern filters *before* we even get around to asking what the author meant. We are often unaware of how much damage we can do to an ancient text just by deciding what does or doesn't count as inside the parameters of what the author meant, and we are often unaware that we're even doing it.

Nothing I've said here is peculiar to the bible, by the way. All this would work as well for the Iliad, or any other ancient text. Despite the sterling work of Schliemann, we may never know for sure what went on at Troy, or if it happened at all. But *something* happened to cause some literary masterminds to record it. And that's as good a start as any.

Maybe what I'm saying is that the further back we go, the less likely it is for us to encounter literal, accurate history in the modern sense, because there was no modern sense of literal, accurate history back then. Does that sound better?