#they make me so ill. and i'm fine with it actually. lmao

[majimaisms]

sometimes i wonder if theres a meta(i guess.?) aspect to how kiryu and majima never quite “work”, (i am NOT saying ‘theyre queerbaiting!’ or ‘it was actually supposed to be like this but my uncle works at rgg and told me they changed it!’ LOL) i am a big kiryu fan and honestly half the shit he does feels like its supposed to lean into this like. Male Stoicism because hes the macho man protagonist, except for substories, where he is more vulnerable and open with people (including…goromi…but not majima…ill let that simmer) at times kiryu can feel like a disney animal sidekick where his role in the story is reflecting what energy other people are bringing to the interaction rather than what he “is” if that makes sense (while i relate as Captain Autism i severely doubt that was rgg’s intention with this characterization. lol)

i’m saying “meta” here because between eng and jpn dialogue sometimes the eng version really does feel like “sorry majima san if this looks gay/not hypermasculine to the viewers” LMAO

youre completely right in saying majima cares abt him more than he does majima. which is truly tragic. but i find it interesting that in ishin and kenzan, two spinoffs that carry zero of the baggage of the games, they’re WAY closer and have way less ambiguity as to how they feel about each other . Like truly if you want this fanon dynamic to kazumaji that everyone thinks exists. (Which is fine i love playing dolls im just saying the main games arent ideal for this.) Just play Ishin

okay, gonna try to address all of these points, and it'll be pretty long so im putting it under a cut

hi!! first of all dont worry about the paragraph vomit lol i like getting long asks <3

so, i'm still a little unclear on what the "meta aspect" youre suggesting for kiryu and majima not working is...? but i will say that kiryu does not i think lean into the stoic male archetype, but he is *seen* that way by everyone around him. there was an rggo story that touched on this. people see him and think he must be the tough, gruff, never-shows-his-emotions hypermasculine hero, and they're intimidated by him or perceive him as an instant Threat to their own masculinity. but he's not, not in the way other characters of that archetype are, he's literally just. kind of autistic. but actually quite emotional and passionate and empathetic. i dont think this is a coincidence, he is characterized this way consistently throughout the series. it's not that the writers were *trying* to write that kind of character but ended up with something else. in fact rggs' writing team regularly astonishes me with the amount of thought and detail put into characterization. they are really, really good at writing characters that feel real, fleshed out, and true to life.

the thing here to note, i think, is that for characters to feel "true to life" to an audience, they have to share some cultural context with the writers. kiryu, majima, and in fact all rgg characters, are people whose motivations, expressions, "vibes" will not be immediately obvious to a western audience. for japanese fans of the series, a lot of things simply "click" into place, intuitively, through subtleties that western fans will not and cannot recognize. another thing to note is that rgg emulates a very specific genre of japanese cinema called "ninkyo". so a lot of character archetypes are borrowed from or subvert that genre. @0nsyu-archive would have much better insights on this, so i'll tag him just in case he wants to add something

another thing is age. kiryu and majima were born in the 60s. their patriarchs, the men they idolize, were born in 1945 and 1948 (!!!) respectively. kiryu spent 10 years of his life in prison and never fully recovered from that setback. their social environment, cultural environment, *values* and *awareness* in general is very different to a lot of their audience's. they are very old school. but they are also products of a changing world. the fact that kiryu criticizes "financial power and a loving family" being "common sense" makes so much sense to me. it's only jarring if you read kiryu as being intentionally portrayed as earnestly hypermasculine. but as i pointed out, the writers are very deliberate about how they write characters, and kiryu always has been quite sentimental and unconcerned with his masculinity. he's not trying to prove anything to anyone, including himself. he's concerned with different things. "being a man" is about *doing the right thing*, not performing masculinity. and this also comes down to different cultural values. it's about protecting women, about not being greedy or opportunistic or underhanded... the "masculine ideal" for a yakuza is not the same as the western masculine ideal.

kiryu is an outcast. all yakuza are outcasts. this is the core of this lifestyle. they are social rejects who have nothing but their honor. the protagonists and main characters are who view the yakuza as a family for people who have no other choice, who have been rejected by and have rejected in return, mainstream society. this is the vision for the tojo clan (and the yakuza) that the "old guard" are trying to protect, in a world that is increasingly more concerned with money instead of what's right or wrong. kiryu, and all the main characters, think being yakuza, being an outcast, is cool. it is by its very nature a rejection of "common sense" and what society Wants them to do. so what he's saying here – of course kiryu understands this. he has nothing to his name. he has no family, no money, no assets. he's an orphan who dropped out of school, he has no prospects. having a "loving family" was never an option for him growing up, and he doesnt seem interested in having a romantic relationship or marrying a woman. he understands that having "financial power" requires education or having inherited money, or bootlicking rich assholes his whole life. if youre going to be bootlicking your entire life, isn't it better to do that for someone you *choose*, someone YOU think is worthy of it? someone you admire? this is the core of what being yakuza is about, this is the appeal. kiryu does not blindly follow social conventions, it's quite the opposite – hes consciously rejecting them, and has been his whole life. even his ideal family is an unconventional one, and this is pointed out in the game itself in that fortune teller substory; he's a single father of 9 and has never been married.

im not sure i ever got the impression while playing these games that i was being "apologized to" for kiryu acting gay or less than perfectly hypermasculine. it is played as funny, for sure, but i dont think rggs has ever felt the need to compensate for kiryu's masculinity. again, i think this is partly because the "masculine ideal" of the yakuza and the western fanbase are completely different.

i definitely agree that kiryu kind of just goes with the flow of what everyone else is bringing to the interaction rather than what he "is", but i think the meta aspect there comes from the fact that he is a playable character and the protagonist, in a way thats more about leaving kiryu as a blank page for players to project onto. i think its generally true for kiryu as a character however that he just sort of takes what life gives him. i cant attest to this personally just because i am not very familiar with japanese media, but a friend once pointed out this is very common in japanese media as opposed to american media where the main characters are always going out of their way to get what they want, to work for something they're trying to achieve, and they're very driven. majima is like this. but if you look at characters like kiryu, saejima, daigo, i do think it's true that there is a sort of "acceptance" of their position and doing their best to *honor* that instead of like, working to change their fate with their own hands. things sort of just... happen to kiryu. he doesn't *make* things happen.

if you look at rggs' writing and the themes and values it deals with, i think it's very clear they are not trying to prop kiryu up as someone to emulate or look up to, btw. he is a tragedy, just a compelling one. but the way kiryu is presented is not because it is *endorsed* by the writers. this is why infinite wealth is what it is. they've started making their stance on these things more obvious in ichiban's saga instead of sticking to ninkyo conventions, at least as far as i can tell.

as for the points about kiryu and majima specifically, i actually don't know if majima cares about kiryu than kiryu cares about him. i don't really know how to quantify "care" here, or to compare it. majima is more affected by kiryu leaving than kiryu is by leaving kamurocho (and majima), is that because majima cares more about kiryu, or is it because he's more neurotic and has less things going on in his life? i think it's more accurate to say that kiryu and majima care about each other in *different* ways. but this asymmetry does not necessarily have to be the "amount" of care, if that makes sense.

ive played ishin btw and i love their dynamic in it, and id actually heard similar things about it so i kinda went into it thinking "okay, maybe this is the game that will sell me on kazumaji" LMAO. and i will say that they definitely make sense to me as friends in that game, in a way they dont in the main series, but i still couldn't "see" it as a ship. but that's just me lmao

AS FOR GOROMI. god i hope i can keep this one short ive already talked so much. but its one of my favorite things to talk about.

i dont know if you've met guys irl who have trouble speaking to women, but god knows i have. in my experience its usually because they get nervous because they aren't confident in their *ability* to communicate with women (and kiryu is already naturally awkward and bad at communication) and their whole lives they've seen men and women as different species because theyve lived in a culture that treated them as such, and not been exposed to social circles where they aren't seen that way. again, it's very "old school"

and this is way more common in cultures where people are more sexually repressed/frustrated and where there's less gender equality. because it becomes a huge deal, and this, like, elephant in the room. people are taught as children that relationships between men and women are always sexual, and this colors their experience interacting with the opposite sex for the rest of their lives. often times this is accompanied by insane amounts of misogyny. for someone who is already uncomfortable with sex and sexuality, for someone like kiryu, this raises the stakes very high.

but those men don't have a problem talking to me, and they openly admit to this. i think they are more comfortable talking to openly queer/gnc people because it feels like there is less at stake. like, you're already more of a freak than they ever could be so you can't judge them, or sometimes, you're as much of a freak as they are (sometimes because theyre queer and don't know it themselves, sometimes its autism and the ostracization that comes from that, sometimes both or other factors that contribute to them feeling like they cannot perform the social role theyve been assigned correctly, ie not performing masculinity correctly when it comes to sexuality) so they feel safe. the stakes are lower. i think for kiryu to feel this way he might also need to perceive majima as nonthreatening, as in, believe there can't actually be anything sexual between them. because if he didn't believe that, he would still feel nervous. this is only one possible explanation but it's one that makes sense to me, especially with how he says "why are you so offended? you're not even a girl" admitting he doesn't actually see goromi as a woman. and that's *why* he feels comfortable talking to her. if he saw her as a woman (aka potential sexual partner) he wouldn't have felt comfortable. maybe, though, goromi severs that tie between "woman=potential sexual partner" for kiryu. because he knows majima, and doesn't see him as either. i dont know, there's different possible readings here

anyway, i dont think kiryu is constructing intricate rituals – i dont think kiryu is constructing *anything*. i think its majima who does that. and those rggo stories do not necessarily imply kiryu is going there *for* goromi, it's just his preferred hostess club and majima is taking advantage of that. that being said, i don't think kiryu would be unhappy about this at all. i think, regardless of the reason, having the opportunity to talk to a woman he doesn't feel uncomfortable around is enjoyable and precious for him

honestly, thinking about it, i think its just the case that he's bad at talking to people in general. like its not even just with women. it's just that with men, he doesn't have to talk. he can let his fists do the talking. i think majima being an excellent conversationalist is part of it too, he can carry the conversation but he's also blunt enough that he'll just scold kiryu for not keeping up. majima is very real around him as goromi, so its easy to match that energy, i think. too bad majima has problems that make him incapable of doing this under any other circumstances <333

sorry if i misinterpreted any of your points, i think i kinda just took the opportunity to talk about some things i like to talk about JDKSHDKKF. feel free to explain further if it feels like i didnt address something!!

[daemon-in-my-head]

Somehow this escalated at some point.

The frame can be untoggled and I've somehow added another... thing (which is just chilling untoggled as well).

[vaguely-concerned]

there's a self-help/mental health adjacent post that's going around and it seems to be really helpful for a lot of people which is very good. I also personally hate it with all my fucking heart

[sunrizef1]

imgonnagetyouback

Pairing: Lando Norris x Fem!singer!reader

Warnings: Cursing

Authors note: I guess I lied about the Lando thing… this songs just so Lando I can’t explain it and I’m actually obsessed with this song rn. You probably have to at least know the premise of the song to understand the second half of this.

INSTAGRAM

yourusername

📍New York, New York

liked by maxfewtrell taylorswift and 13,998,887 others

yourusername hello, New York!

tagged: taylorswift

Load comments…

user1 my fav

user2 love her

user3 so pretty 🤩

taylorswift 🩵

yourusername 🤭💋

user4 welcome to New York, so real

user5 I miss Lando

user6 hi queen!!!

user7 new music when

user8 “I love NY not you” lmao Lando get up

user9 now why in the world did max like this

user10 and now Lando will post an Instagram story of him partying with some random girl to prove he’s having more fun than y/n is, we know how this goes

user11 you can not tell me they don’t miss each other

sabrinacarpenter pretty 🤩 🤩 🤩

yourusername no u 💋

user12 I just need a video of her English ass trying to navigate new York please and thx

maxfewtrell hey bestie!

yourusername oh my god get out of here

user13 wtf is max doing 😭😭

gracieabrams I ❤️ u

yourusername 🥰

oscarpiastri hi

yourusername hi?

———————————————

landonorris added to their story

user14

Now wtf

user15

user10 was right

user16

Alright ig

oscarpiastri

oh okay

MESSAGES

INSTAGRAM

yourusername added to their story

oscarpiastri

Still can't believe you convinced me to do that

yourusername

You'll be fine, ill get you concert tickets

can't even tell its you either

oscarpiastri

fine

they better be vip

yourusername

Dw they will be

—————-

maxfewtrell

???

yourusername

Dw its just Oscar

maxfewtrell

Jesus i cant believe you

yourusername

He started it. This is the first time I've included a guy in my posts, landos been doing it for months

maxfewtrell

you're gonna be the death of me

yourusername

💋💋💋💋

maxfewtrell

take care of yourself though y/n

yourusername

I am

Thx tho max 🫶

maxfewtrell

Yeah yeah 🙄

——————————————

yourusername

📍Paris, France

liked by charles_leclerc oscarpiastri and 21,008,771 others

yourusername I can tell when somebody still wants me

load comments…

user17 oh yay they're gonna sneak diss in their Insta captions again

user18 I miss dad ☹️

user19 she's so pretty omg

maxfewtrell oh wonderful we’re doing this now

yourusername leave

user20 lando its your turn

user21 IM IN LOVE WITH HER

charles_leclerc I'm amused

yourusername congrats

user22 they're so messy I love them

oscarpiastri great he's about to drag me into doing something stupid because of this

yourusername that is not my problem

user23 I sense new music coming along

user24 I do genuinely think he still wants her lowk

user25 they want eachother, don't lie. Its defo mutual

user26 😍😍😍

taylorswift 🤩

yourusername 🥰

jackantonoff 🤪

liker by yourusername

user27 why is jack here???? New music???

————————————————

landonorris

liked by maxfewtrell martingarrix and 12,008,998 others

landonorris I have what I want

load comments…

user28 oh… yay

user29 🤩🤩🤩

user30 say what you want about their shitty personalities but they sure do know how to make an aesthetic post

user31 the shade is immense

maxfewtrell im nauseous

landonorris 👍

user32 they’re so into each other it’s actually insane

user33 OH MY GOD WE GET IT YOU MISS EACHOTHER

user34 🤩🤩🤩

user35 he’s so fine

user35 LANDO-

user36 now what’s y/n gonna do

user37 how long until they both apologize and get back together… these are not the posts of people who have healthily moved on from their previous relationship

user38 fine as hell lowk

oscarpiastri this is 100% the most healthy way to handle this

landonorris I didn’t ask

user39 all of their friends are so annoyed and it’s so funny

———————————————

yourusername added to their story

maxfewtrell

Is this a song where you admit you’re still in love with Lando so you both can finally get over your emotional immaturity???

yourusername

kinda

maxfewtrell

Oh fr?

I thought you’d just be mean to him for the whole song

yourusername

Uhhh-

——————————————

yourusername

liked by sabrinacarpenter taylorswift and 21,000,111 others

yourusername imgonnagetyouback out now 🩶

Load comments…

user40 IM GONNA GET YOU BACK

user41 oh my god it’s so good

user42 LANDO GET UP

user43 THE CAPTION FROM PARIS WAS A SONG LYRICCCCC

user44 oh so she’s still in love with him

user45 “you were never not mine” 💀

user46 I CAN FEEL IT COMING HUMMIN IN THE WAY YOU MOVE

user47 PUSH THE RESET BUTTON WERE BECOMING SOMETHING NEW

user48 SAY YOU GOT SOMEBODY ILL SAY IVE GOT SOMEONE TOO

user49 EVEN IF ITS HANDCUFFED IM LEAVING HERE WITH YOU

user50 “I’m an Aston Martin” okay lance strollll

oscarpiastri “I’ve got someone too” no you do not 💀

yourusername oh my god shut up

user51 she’s still in love with him dhmu

maxfewtrell when I asked if this was going to be emotionally healthy and not a diss I can now see why you were conflicted…. Bit of both tbh

yourusername 🫶

maxfewtrell 👎

user52 told my friends I hate you but I love you just the same 😭

user53 SO GOOD

user54 WHETHER IM GONNA BE YOUR WIFE????

——————————————

landonorris added to their story

maxfewtrell

…

what does this achieve

landonorris

What do you want

maxfewtrell

Mate come on

you’re still obviously in love with her

and the song litteraly shows she’s still in love with you

all you’ve done is post a thirst trap of yourself with song lyrics on top

landonorris

It’s not a thirst trap

maxfewtrell

I hate both of you

text her mate

you’re happier together

And I’m tired of both of you annoying the shit out of me

landonorris

Fine

Maybe I will

maxfewtrell

Thank god

It’d be the first time you listened to me

—————————————

MESSAGES

INSTAGRAM

yourusername added to their story

maxfewtrell

That better be Lando or so help me god

yourusername

Calm your tits

It is

maxfewtrell

YEAHHHH

Finally

I can stop playing matchmaker

yourusername

😒😒😒😒

————————————————

oscarpiastri

Oh so this means you’ll both stop dragging me into your dumb shit

yourusername

🖕🖕🖕🖕

oscarpiastri

🫶

———————————————

TWITTER

INSTAGRAM

landonorris

liked by yourusername maxfewtrell and 13,001,881 others

landonorris told my friends I hate you but I love you just the same

load comments…

user55 YEAHHHHHHH

user56 Y/N LIKED WE’RE SO BACK

user57 my favs

user58 my parents are back together 😭

user59 unlike your real ones

user58 woah???

user59 🤷‍♀️ it’s the truth

user60 I missed them so much 😭😭😭

user61 admitted you love your ex-gf on main, this is self-improvement

yourusername pick your poison, babe

landonorris I’m poison either way

user62 I appreciate the repeating lyrics at each other because it is cute but those are not the kindest lyrics to be repeating 😭

user63 who knew that shit-talking your ex in a song could get him to re-admit his love for you

maxfewtrell took you long enough

landonorris legitimately who asked you

maxfewtrell I’m the reason this even happened in the first place. Watch your tone.

landonorris thanks i guess

maxfewtrell “I guess” @/yourusername this is how happy he is to have you back

yourusername landoooo

landonorris sorry. Thank you so much max, I’m so grateful you brought the loml back to me.

maxfewtrell you’re welcome ☺️

—————————————

yourusername

liked by landonorris maxfewtrell and 20,887,991 others

yourusername got you back

load comments…

user64 she got him back 🥹

user65 YEAHHHHH LFG

user66 awwwww

user67 I love them so much

user68 sleeping on the highway tonight 🫶

oscarpiastri 🥳🥳🥳

liked by yourusername

user69 these pictures are so cute oh my god 😭

user70 IM GONNA GET YOU BACK

landonorris you decided wether you’re gonna be my wife or smash up my bike yet?

yourusername still not sure… maybe both 🤔

user71 BOTH?????

user72 YEAH YEAH THATS FUNNY AND ALL BUT SHE JUST SAID SHE’D MARRY HIM

maxfewtrell congratulations nerds

yourusername thanks mate

user73 I’m in love with both of them

user74 they’re both so much happier together I really hope they stick this time

user75 and when she releases a love album then what

landonorris ily 🫶

yourusername ily2 🫶

user76 Jesus Christ they’re such teenagers 😭 USE FULL WORDS 😭😭😭

user77 no I get them. I wouldn’t post full love confessions in an Instagram comment section either lmao

user78 they got each other back 🫶

———————————————

Taglist: @casperlikej @evie-119

[fruity-mond]

We don't talk enough how Kaeya literally just. Appeared.

Thinking about how Kaeya literally has NO legal documents. So like, logically, Crepus had to forge some stuff. Where is he from? Who knows but his birthday is on Nov30- don't fact check that.

Since Kaeya was abandoned, it does actually qualify him for the Late Birth Registration law in most places, and it probably makes it a lot easier that they're in the city of freedom but STILL, Crepus having to fill that up is so funny to me because he is STRUGGLING.

This kid is seven and the only way they knew his age was bc of some wacko they met on the way to Liyue for a family trip, who was high as a kite, being like "oh ya I'm a licensed pediatrician that is a SEVEN YEAR OLD" and threw up right after. And that was all they had to go off of bc Kaeya was near meltdowns at any mentions of medical testing (he's scared they'll figure out who he actually is, but comes to the realization that there's nothing to match him to)

This kid doesn't even remember his BIRTHDAY. Crepus and Diluc literally had to assign him one. Dude, he is JUST mastering Mondstadtian, he's still stuttering. How do you expect this kid to remember if he's gotten his mandatory baby shots? And he shouldn't be expected to!! HE'S SEVEN.

Crepus, filling out the forms with Kaeya on his lap:

"Kaeya, do you know your blood type?- Wait have you gotten vaccinated?"

"…Huh"

"Archons is this why you're ill 89% of the time"

Eventually, Kaeya agrees for a medical check up bc they genuinely need info on him to fill in his legal meds reports and good fucking lord HOW is this kid SURVIVING. Why is he deficient in 9 different vitamins?? Do we even HAVE 9 different vitamins to be deficient in?? So he ends up in the cathedral for like. A solid 3 months. A month where he literally couldn't leave and 2 where he's in and out for tests and check-ups.

(Turns out he IS seven but alchemy can only go so far so still no concrete birthday)

Crepus is pacing front and back, cursing Kaeya's stupid family.

Not for leaving him, no, Crepus actually feels slightly guilty that he's grateful they left him bc it gave the Ragnvindrs a wonderful new son.

No he's cursing them bc could they really not have made it easier by leaving his STUPID birth certificate and medical records with him? If you wanna abandon him, fine! MAKE IT EASIER FOR THE PERSON TO TAKE HIM IN. GOD.

Diluc and Kaeya was NOT aware of their father's anguish lmao Diluc kept sneaking in with a bunch of trinkets and books to make sure Kaeya isn't bored. Him, Jean, Kaeya and Thoma play Uno on Kaeya's medical bed

(No one is winning but Diluc is DEFINITELY losing. Kaeya has 6 wins, Jean 5, Thoma 5, and Diluc none. He nearly accidentally set Kaeya's cathedral bedsheet on fire after his 12th loss)

At some point, Crepus just starts making shit up bc dude he just wants to take this kid in please. The kid seems to know as much abt himself as Crepus knows of him, so he's no help

(and that's not his fault but come on these documents need filling)

HE JUST WANTS TO TAKE HIM HOME AND ENROLL HIM IN CLASSES WITHOUT THE KNIGHTS BEING ON HIS ASS FOR TECHNICAL KIDNAPPING.

He tells Adelinde this in a rant once:

"You forged legal documents."

"I mean, technically? Most of them were true and obtained by legal means"

"…most of them."

"Okay lets be honest right now, Addie, this is probably the tamest crime you know I've committed"

Ragnvindr Family ily (Also I'm a firm believer that Thoma was a frequent friend in Jean, Kaeya, and Diluc's schemes)

[nor-4]

Formula 1 Incorrect Quotes with reader

F1IQ - Part Two

Y/n: You have issues Charles: Omg you noticed🥹❤️

Max: How tall are you? Yuki: Extremely. Thank you for asking

Lando, apologizing: . . .—-. - / … —.-. .-. -.- Y/n: What’s that? Lando: remorse code Y/n: I’m even angrier now

Lance: So girl what that mouth do Y/n: complain

Christian: Nice ass, sorry about the mental illness Toto: Thank you king

Y/n in drive to survive: If you’re ever losing an argument hit them with the “you just want me.” Max: I’m just saying you are in the wrong and you are yet still stubborn Y/n: you just want me Max: I do and now i need you to listen to me

Carlos: *wearing a turtle neck* Y/n: I heard in the internet that men who wear turtle neck are most likely to be a whore.

Y/n: Wtf people actually tell their crushes they like them???? Fernando: What the hell do you do? Y/n: i die? Lmao what kinda question…

Lewis: Bro. I am on my way

Lewis: Sorry for calling you bro you are my girlfriend and i love you

Y/n: I love you too brah

Daniel comforting max: Always here for you bro 🌹🌹🌹

Daniel: Those were flowers btw

Daniel: For our bromance

Y/n: Anyways see you in court

Lance: I get to see youu😍

Oscar: You're a reoccurring guest in my sleep

Y/n: are you in love with me

Oscar: i just see you when i sleep often

Y/n: because you are in love with me

Y/n: i am not normal about this man

Sebastian: You are not normal in general

Y/n: I need a relationship advice

Kimi: break up

Y/n: listen to me first

Y/n: You know you can open up to me anytime

Charles: Okay fine

Charles: Idrk how to explain it it's just i wish i was dead *Y/n liked this message*

Charles: Why the fuck did you like the message

Sebastian: Dinner is ready. Come down and eat.

Sebastian: bring down your lady friend

Y/n: ?? It's my friend charles. He's a boy

Sebastian: Gay. Christian thought it was a chick.

Y/n: well he has pretty face

Sebastian: Gay

Sebastian: Both of you come eat.

Lando: You heard a joke about gas lighter?

Carlos: no

Landos: yes you have

Carlos: No i haven't

Lando: You've literally heard it already

Carlos: I DONT KNOW

Lando: You're crazy

Y/n in drive to survive: Playing among us with a gay is really hard

Charles: Give me the code bitch

Y/n: Waitt

Y/n: SKSJHK

George: Omg what happened

Y/n: BITCH THAT'S THE CODE

Logan: You are really cute

Y/n: Thank youu, you too

Logan: So what do you like?

Y/n: murder

Y/n: Wait you like me??

Y/n: for my personality??

Yuki: i know I'm surprised too

Oscar: You are so annoying

Y/n: But you like me

Oscar: Doesn't make you less annoying

Y/n: So can we talk?

Lando: talk about what?

Y/n: about us

Lando: Why would you want to talk about United State

Lewis: that's it?

Lewis: You done bitching?

Y/n: That was just a warm up

George: THERE IS SO MANY SNACKS IN HERE

Y/n: WHAT SNACK

George: Like hot guys

George: NOT FOOD YOU FAT FUCK

Lance: How come you are abnormally nice to me lately

Y/n: what do you mean

Lance: You seem nicer than usual

Y/n: I'll punch you in the face if you want

Logan: What's up?

Y/n: about to have mental breakdown hbu?

Logan: in the middle of mental break down

Y/n: Why do we fight over stupid shit

Max: cause you say stupid shit

Y/n: baby are you flirting with me?

Logan: yes I'm trying

Logan: i dont even have an idea on what am i doing

[bowsellie]

we have chemistry

warnings: college!ellie x college!reader, stoner!ellie, chronically ill reader (not specific, just mentions of fatigue and a medical accommodation for a single room for plot reasons lol), weed usage (Ellie and reader), mild language, briefly proofread, no use of y/n minors dni! smut in 3rd section! top!ellie, some degradation, praise (reader called a good girl, pretty girl, etc., ellie told she's doing a good job), SO MUCH CONSENT WE <3 CONSENT, fingering (r! receiving), oral (r! receiving), aftercare.

💗💗💗

You didn't want to be taking organic chemistry. Nobody in that class did--not even the chemistry majors. But as finals season rolled around, you found yourself spending extra time to make sure that it would at least be worth your while. Needless to say, not everybody shared the same drive.

As the clock hit 8:49am on the last class before the exam, everybody started shoving their laptops away despite the professor's continuing drone. To your right there was an extra loud snap! as the student beside you--an auburn-haired girl you'd never seen before--shut the screen with finality. You shot her a glare, gently closing your notebook as people began to trickle out.

"You're smart, right?"

You angled your face towards the sound, assuming somebody was having a side conversation close by. Instead, you found yourself face to face with striking green eyes leaning to reach your line of sight.

"Hi. Yeah, you. You're using an actual notebook and have all the fancy pens and shit, so...are you smart?"

Your eyebrows drew together slightly as you shrugged with one shoulder. "I try, I guess. Um...why?"

One corner of the girl's mouth picked up. "I don't know if you've noticed, but I've literally never been to this class before. My grade sucks. But I really don't want to retake this shit. Do you think you could help me?"

You stared at her incredulously, mentally calculating the equation of audacity and arrogance it must take to expect a complete stranger to help despite a clear lack of effort.

You opened your mouth slightly to say some variation of hell fucking no, who do you think you are anyways?, maybe you should have considered that before skipping literally every other class meeting when she stuck out her hand. "I'm Ellie, by the way. I'll pay you for helping me." When you hesitated to shake it, she added a "please".

You rolled your eyes, shaking the girl--Ellie's--hand with slightly too much force. "Fine. Whatever. Give me your number." You slid your phone across the table, already open to the contacts app, and watched as she typed.

"You're a lifesaver! Thank you..." she asked, pausing for your name. You gave it. "Thank you."

💗💗💗

Getting back to your dorm and settling into bed for a nap, you briefly texted the number now in your phone as "Ellie" with the last name "Wehavechemistry".

hey

Almost immediately, three dots popped up.

hey there. do you like my contact? lmao

i mean, we do have chemistry together. so like...sure?

no no no. i meant like...we have chemistry. wink wink nudge nudge. and my last name starts with a w so it's funny. do you get it?

...

it's funny.

yeah yeah sure. very funny. hahaha. anyways.

when did you want to come over? i'm free all weekend, and the final's monday. sooooo

oh shit

didn't realize the final was monday

ummmmmmmm how does tomorrow at 8pm work? do you have a roommate or something we need to accommodate for?

no, no roommate. tomorrow at 8pm works fine for me. see you then, ellie.

:)

Turns out, texting with Ellie wasn't all that insufferable. She was friendlier than you expected, and every time you put your phone down to try and fall asleep you found your heart beating too fast at every notification to actually put it down.

Instead, you kept the conversation going until 8pm the next day rolled around, when instead of a text you got three loud raps at the door.

Opening it up, you saw Ellie in the same hoodie as yesterday. This time, her hair was slightly damp and she smelled like...old spice and something pungent and earthy. Did she shower already?

"Hey," you said, suddenly feeling awkward and over dressed in your jean shorts and crop top, hair still done from that afternoon. "You can come in."

Ellie grinned at you as she slid in the door. "We have a semester of schoolwork to cover. Hope you're prepared for a long night," she said.

"Trust me, I am. Did you bring anything?" You asked, looking for a bag as she climbed on to your bed.

"Nope. Not school stuff, anyways." Curious, you tossed your notebook towards her and watched as she pulled a pre-rolled joint and lighter from her hoodie pocket. "I'm assuming you don't smoke since you're like, a nerd, but do you mind if I do?"

You shook your head, dropping your jaw in false offense. "How lame do you think I am? Just because I actually go to class doesn't mean I'm a nerd."

Ellie shot you a disbelieving look, but handed you the joint anyways as you joined her on the bed. "Here, have the first hit. As a thank you for helping me out."

She lit it for you as you inhaled, passing her the weed and opening your notebook. "If this keeps you from retaining information that's not my fault. Just saying."

"Trust me, I'm so alert right now it's crazy. All of tonight is gonna be stuck in my memory for a while."

💗💗💗

The room gradually grew darker, lit only by your adjusting lamp and the last smoldering ashes of the joint as you reached halfway through the notebook.

You breathed heavily through your nose, looking at Ellie seriously. "It's so late. We're not going to finish this tonight."

As she looked up at you, you suddenly noticed how much closer you two had moved over the course of the night. Had your thighs been touching the whole time? Has her breath always been so close it's hitting your cheek? Why did she have to smell so good?

Your own breath caught in your throat as she leaned even closer to you, placing a hand so close to your leg you could feel the fabric of her sweatshirt against her bare thigh. Almost imperceptibly, her gaze flickered down to your chest, now rapidly rising and falling.

"How set do you think I am for this stupid final?" Ellie asked seriously, a rasp in her voice either from smoke or the lowered pitch.

"You picked up on everything really well, so at least the first half I think you'll do fine."

She grabbed your left hand in both of hers, causing your breath to catch again. Her eyes flickered down again, this time lingering longer. Following her gaze, you noticed the top of your bra peeking out.

"Sorry," you said, quickly adjusting your shirt to cover it as heat spread through your body.

"No, no, you're fine. Sorry for looking," she said. You looked at her face, watching as her eyes seemed to trace the shape of your shoulders and the line of your throat.

The air thickened with tension, but you found yourself not wanting Ellie to leave yet. "So, why did you take this class anyways? If you didn't want to go?"

Finally, she met your eyes. "I need a chemistry for my major. Astronomy. I thought I would like this one, but didn't realize it was a fucking 8am when I signed up. By the time I realized I wasn't going to make it up that early it was too late to drop." She shrugged. "What about you? Big chemistry fan?"

You snorted. "Not really, but I also needed a chemistry for my major. I like the 8ams, it lets me have afternoons free to sleep. That's why I don't have a roommate--medical accommodations for fatigue or whatever." She nodded along, genuinely listening.

"Well, hopefully I don't have to retake this class. Next time there probably won't be a pretty girl willing to help me out."

You smiled at her, breathing sharply out of your nose in a laugh. "We'll see what we can do."

A beat of silence washed over you before Ellie pointed towards the pride flag on your wall with her chin. "So...are you..." She began, causing you to laugh full out this time.

"Yeah. Obviously, I'd hope, but if you're feminine people tend to assume otherwise I guess." You smiled and looked at her. "Are you?"

Ellie placed a hand on her chest. "I'm hurt you had to ask. I've been trying to flirt with you since I got your number, babe."

Oh.

"Oh."

She leaned back a little. "I can cut it out, if you want. I couldn't tell if you were into it or not."

Without giving her time to continue doubting, you sprung forward and attached your lips to hers. Threading your fingers in her hair and breathing in as you pulled back.

"So...you are into it?"

"I'm a little dense, Ellie. Don't let the color-coded notes fool you. But yes. Now that I know...I'm into it."

She smiled at you with one side of her mouth again, this time leaning forward to kiss you first. Lips opening slightly, you felt her body around yours as her hands found the bed and pushed you on to your back.

Ellie pushed her tongue gently into your mouth, settling between your legs as they fell open. As you felt her weight between your hips, you groaned a little.

Whining a little as she pulled away, your eyes fluttered shut as Ellie threaded her fingers through the hair by your ear. "Is this supposed to be my payment?" you asked, leaning into her touch.

"Shut up," she said playfully, leaning in to kiss you again. This time it was more forceful, teeth bumping against teeth as your tongues chased each other. Too focused on the overwhelming sensation of Ellie's mouth on your own, you broke the kiss to moan in surprise when you felt her knee push against your core.

Using the opportunity to trail her mouth down your cheek, to your jaw, to your neck, Ellie asked "is this okay, baby?" between kisses. You nodded before remembering she couldn't see you, instead responding with a slightly choked "yes."

In response, her lips attached right behind your ear as her teeth sunk into you and she began to suck. You groaned, bucking your hips against her knee. Kindly, she began to push it back into you, laughing into your neck as you continued whimpering.

"What?" you asked. "Why are you laughing?"

Ellie pulled away from the spot she had been working into your collarbone, meeting your eyes. "You're just so pretty. Can't believe I have you falling apart for me and I've barely touched you."

Your mouth fell open at her words, groaning. Ellie's mouth found yours again, her hands reaching for your tits over your shirt. "Can't blame me for looking at these," she said between kisses, "You look so good in this shirt."

"Take it off, then," you said. You sounded braver than you felt, your stomach doing absolute flips as the girl over you quickly complied to reveal your lacy nude bra.

"I like this," she said softly. "I want it off, though. Is that okay, pretty?" You nodded. The bra was nothing special--just comfy and the right color. If Ellie liked it, though, it was now one of your favorites.

Her mouth moved down your chin and neck to attach to your left nipple, bringing a hand to your opposite hip as she sucked and licked lightly. Your hips continued to buck against her knee, which was now stationary as you essentially rode her thigh.

Chuckling a little, Ellie looked up at you and began unbuttoning your shorts. "Knew you'd be needy. What kind of thoughts are you hiding from me?" she asked, pulling off your bottoms and panties in one go when you lifted your hips to help.

You smiled a little watching her eyes attach themselves to the spot between your legs. "What can I say?" you said. "Maybe I'm a little slutty if the right girl has me under her."

This seemed to light something in Ellie, who watched your face as she brought your face down to your pussy. Close enough to feel her breath, her eyes gleamed as she moved away from your hips chasing her.

"Please," you asked, voice breaking. "Please, Ellie."

"Guess you are a slut, huh? Begging for me already." Whatever response you had was cut off by a screaming moan as her mouth attached itself to you, immediately lapping at your clit before interspersing it with longer licks. Your legs shut around her face as your hands grabbed into her hair, pulling a little as you noticed the groan she made at the pressure.

"That feels so good, Ellie." Her motions sped up at this, and you hurriedly repeated the phrase as she focused more attention on your clit. Feeling everything tighten, you wrapped your ankles around her back as your hips lifted almost completely off the bed. Still attached to you, Ellie fully moaned as you pulled her hair and came over her face.

Whimpering softly as she pulled away, you audibly groaned when she looked up at you and wiped her chin with the back of her hand. "You did so good, baby. Do you have another one in you?"

You quickly nodded, feeling words escape you. All you wanted was for her to say you did good again.

Ellie leaned into you, placing her head into the crook of your neck as her fingers ghosted lightly over your hips, stomach, and thighs. Finally, you felt them dip into the pool of wet that had collected in your cunt. Spreading the mix of saliva, cum, and arousal up to your clit and around your hole, she slowly pushed a slender finger into you. Your back arched off the bed when she began pumping it in and out, chuckling against your neck.

"Such a pretty girl. You're doing so good," she whispered. Your moans grew louder at her words and she pushed another finger in. "Good girl," she breathed, kissing your neck and jaw as she worked into you.

"Ellie," you gasped. "Ellie, please."

"What, baby?"

"Please, Ellie, please. Wanna cum."

You felt her lips quirk up against your collarbone as she added a thumb to your clit and a curl to her fingers. Quicker than you'd ever been able to get there yourself, you felt the tightening of your gut. She swallowed your moans with a sloppy kiss, gently catching your bottom lip between her teeth before soothing it with her tongue. She used her other hand to hold on to your hair at the scalp as you writhed, second orgasm shuddering through your body.

"Good girl," she said as she worked you through it. Sitting up, she wiped her fingers on your thighs before moving up up to let you rest your head on her chest. "You did so good, baby. My smart, pretty, good girl."

You whimpered a little, not prepared to speak just yet. Ellie seemed to understand and didn't push you, holding you and playing with your hair until you leaned back to smile at her.

"That was good. Thank you," you told her, leaning in for a kiss that tasted of your sweat and pussy.

Ellie broke away, moving the hand wrapped around your waist to grab something out of your back pocket. She placed it on your bare chest, tucking it between your tits.

"What do I look like, a prostitute?" you asked. "Much love to them, but..."

Ellie raised her eyebrows. "I mean, you fuck like a professional, but this is for helping me study."

You grabbed the bill and pushed it back into her pocket. "Save it for next time. We need to finish that notebook if you want to actually pass this class."

Ellie kissed the top of your head. "How does tomorrow work?"

A/N this is basically a self insert...my bad. tried to make it as inclusive to different readers as possible. let me know if there's anything I can improve on!! <3

[obsidianpen]

I saw your comment on BG being a dark romance versus NG not really being able to claim the label, and it occurred to me I think that's part of what I like about NG? I'm also in the same camp of readers who argued that NG was less emotionally distressing than H&H, so make of that what you will.

The short version of this is just that I'm not really a fan of the dark romance genre (no shade to people who are, it's just not for me) and I like NG because I fundamentally agree that it's not actually a dark romance, at its core.

The longer version of this is that I would argue NG is not a romance, full stop. Does it have romantic leads? Yes. Does the plot center itself around their interactions and developing relationship? Yes. Is it a romance?

I would argue not, and for one key reason:

Harry doesn't like Voldemort.

Harry may manipulate or seduce, may challenge or cajole, but all of this is really a means to an end. He has some scant fondness for Voldemort, kind of, in select circumstances, but the reality is that if you gave him a "make Voldemort stop existing with no major consequences" button, he would smash that thing before you could even blink. He might not want to kill Voldemort, but Harry's closeness to him right now is primarily practical.

Voldemort, by contrast and against all his better judgement, genuinely likes Harry. He craves his approval and attention, and would likely be absolutely gutted to think too hard about how mercenary Harry's relationship with him truly is.

I say this as someone who's sitting on the sidelines with popcorn, rooting against all odds that somehow these two will work... something... out. But there's not actually a foundation of mutual interest upon which a romance novel is typically built.

For this reason, I'd argue that NG is probably closer in genre to dystopian fantasy. The dystopia is told through the relationship of Harry and Voldemort, pushing the societal ills of the Wizarding World into pretty glaring view for the audience, but that doesn't actually make their relationship romantic (in the modern sense of the word).

I was pretty conflicted on whether or not NG followed the hallmark of Austenian romance, whereby loving someone fundamentally changes your perception of the world, and I think my answer on this is that it is certainly changing Voldemort's, but not Harry's. Voldemort is busy having the foundations of his world shook every time Harry walks in the room; Harry, meanwhile, doesn't have the freedom to even think his own emotions privately. Under those conditions, love, for Harry, is a freedom he simply can't afford.

The one-sidedness of Voldemort's affections doesn't produce a romance from an audience perspective -- it highlights the disturbing disparities in the Wizarding World's "glorious" new dystopia.

Maybe I'm wrong, because I am due for a re-read, but overall I think that NG intentionally sacrifices a lot of its traditional romantic tropes to further a complex narrative of power, justice, and mercy (on both the individual level and the societal) and I think as a book, it's come out the stronger for it.

I think you are pretty spot on - but I am SO overdue for a reread myself at this point lmao I am not fine tuned on the details at all myself. I want to say Harry’s feelings are a little - a lot? - more nuanced and confusing than that. I’d say he does kind of like Voldemort. Sometimes. For fleeting moments. It’s more that he fundamentally loathes what he stands for, what he’s done, and what he’s doing, and simultaneously finds him physically attractive (now - he went hard with that monster comment), and well that whole soul bond and having an intimate relationship sure makes things messy af huh. God I need to read whatever the fuck I wrote

[nightlyrequiem]

HI HIHI i hope ur well!!! I would LOVEEE to make a very self indulgent Valeria request, so basically I am an autopsy tech and embalmer/mortician and I think it would be a cool plot like Valeria’s gf works with her and helps her out with all the bodies that she has to deal with basically. Id love for her to have a very feminine personality like a lil bimbo wife that is lowkey covered in blood 90% of the time lmao. And for the plot itself im not very creative ill sorta take anything fluff or smut mostly 😼 but its my birthday in like a week so ill leave it in your hands hehehe

HIIIIIII! I'm doing well, hope you're doing well too!! It's actually kind of funny that you request this because I have a thing in progress where Reader works in a morgue! Such a cool job btw

I enjoyed writing this, I did a little research but there might still be some inaccuracies I hope there aren't too many 🥲

Happy early birthday, too! I hope it's an amazing day <3

Tags/Warnings: WLW, Very Minor Graphic Depiction of a Corpse, Fluff, Suggestive Themes, Smut, Pre-Established Relationship

Embalming and Bows

You hum to yourself as you prepare the cavity embalming fluid. Trocars connecting to a man's hollow organs doing the work to suction out unwanted fluids. A cheery song with questionably sexual lyrics plays quietly while you work. The man on your table hasn't been handled with the usual respect you'd award corpses. You haven't even closed his eyes. He crossed Valeria. Stole drugs, or something. You aren't actually sure. Doesn't really matter. You're embalming him for her so she can display him outside as a warning. Slowing down the decomposition process long enough for the point to get across. You've done this for her a few times. Happy to support your partner's hobbies.

Your pink apron has a few stains. Blood as well as other things. Hands grip your hips, startling you into dropping the scalpel you just picked up.

"You've been down here for hours." Valeria murmurs into your ear. You smile and turn your head to look at her over your shoulder. 

"I'm working." You reply. No bite to your voice. Valeria is always welcome to come interrupt you.

"Yeah?" Valeria hums, glancing at the man. "How's that going for you?"

You pull away gently and bend down to pick up your scalpel. Intentionally giving Valeria an eyeful of your panties. A short skirt isn't ideal to work in. But you're not technically on the clock and you felt like dressing cute today. "It's going fine." You reply, looking at the corpse. "I'm almost done. Just need to finish the cavity embalming and then he's good to go."

Valeria nods approvingly. There's a gleam in her eyes as she watches you move around. You're done draining him, so you begin to pump in the embalming fluid. 

"Quite the lengthy process, you should walk me through it sometime." Valeria says.

"I'd love to." You grin, eager to share your career with her. "It's a bit of a long process, even more when you're preening them."

Valeria moves closer and presses against you. "Oh yeah?" She hums.

"You're going to get all gross." You warn. Some of those stains aren't stains yet. Valeria lowers her head and presses a small kiss against your throat.

"A little blood never hurt anyone, in fact I like it when you're covered in it." She replies, voice dropping an octave. "Tell me more about the preening, sounds sexy."

"Not at all." You shake your head, slapping her shoulder playfully. "I have to shave off the peach fuzz on their faces, wire their jaws shut, clean them, close their eyes, and sometimes do their hair and makeup."

Valeria peppers your throat in kisses.

"I'm sure the makeup bit is enjoyable for you." 

You carefully peel off you gloves and chuck them at the trashcan. Missing terribly. "hm. You should let me do your makeup sometime." You say. Valeria grabs the backs of your thighs and hoists you onto the counter. It's cold under your bare skin. She steps between your thighs and sucks a bruise into the skin of your throat.

"You can do my makeup whatever way you want when I die." She offers. She's making a joke, but you don't find it very funny.

"I don't like to think about you dying." You scold. "Nobody wants to embalm their own girlfriend."

"Have me stuffed then, my other girlfriend is a taxidermist. She'll give you a discount."

You don't find those jokes very funny either. You gently push her away and hop off the counter.

"Not funny. Just for that you're not getting any tonight." You check on the body, making sure everything is going smoothly - that there are no leaks in the tubes. It was a nightmare to clean them the last time there was. The smell lingered for a week.

"I'm kidding Mi pequeña tanatorio." Valeria says. "That skirt looks very good on you." She very tactfully changes the subject. You beam at her from over your shoulder.

"Thank you, I bought it yesterday, along with a bunch of other things." You say. Turning to face her. "I found this new, super cute store full of the most beautiful dresses I've ever seen." 

"And how much did that cost you?"

You begin to start putting your tools away. "It costed you nine hundred-fifty."

Valeria quirks a brow.

"I don't recall you asking to spend my money." She says. You blink at her innocently.

"Oh, whoops!" You grin. "I guess I'll just have to take back all those low cut, form fitting dresses... shame, they did wonders for my tits." You turn back around, filling up a tub with bleach to clean some of the incision tools.

"You don't need to do all of that, Corazón." Valeria dismisses. "You'll just have to repay me."

"Yeah?" You reply with a sultry tone. "How would you like me to repay you, hm?"

"You'll see soon."

A week passes by. Your efforts have kept the man decently fresh, but nature's will is stronger than any embalming fluid and soon the man begins to rot. You and Valeria pass under the bridge he's hanged from as you walk back to her car. You're fed, full, and content. Valeria treated you to a very nice restaurant for your birthday. Presenting you with gift after gift in a secluded corner. smiling at your girlish gasps. Valeria is of course carrying the bags and boxes they came in. You're limping slightly, your heels having chewed blisters into your heels, but you ignore the pain. Excited by the gifts and dinner, and what's going to be occurring when you get home. Dinner, gifts, and sweet sex to end your night.

Back in the bedroom, you shed your heels and sigh in relief. Freeing your feet from their pretty, arched prisons. You sit back on the bed while Valeria lights a few candles and sets your presents on the floor beside the closet. She approaches you while loosening her tie, it's enough to flood the silk of your panties. She crawls onto the bed toward you.

"Had fun?" She murmurs. Grabbing your thighs and pulling you towards her.

"I did." You reply quietly. Wrapping your arms around her shoulders.

Valeria's lips curl into a small smirk. 

"Good. Lay back."

You comply, laying back against the feathery pillows. Heat pools into your lower stomach as Valeria sits up and removes her pants, chucking them off the bed. Her belt clatters against the floor. You watch her reach into the nightstand, grabbing a harness. You snake a hand between your legs to lightly tease yourself. She straps it to her hips and moves over you, reverently running her hands over your arms.

"You're so beautiful." She whispers. Hands gravitating towards your breasts. Valeria gives them a gentle squeeze as she kisses you. One hand slowly moving down between your bodies. She grabs ahold of her silicone cock and aligns it with your entrance. Knowing you're already worked up enough to not need that much preparation. She buries her face into your neck as she slowly pushes in. Sinking herself into your wet heat. Your inner walls work to pull her in deeper, sheathing her to the hilt. 

Valeria pumps herself into you. You moan into her ear without shame as the head repeatedly bumps into that one sweet spot inside of you. Your legs lock around her hips and pull her closer. Your own hips canting up for a deeper angle. Valeria fucks you sweetly. taking her time with you. One of her hands has found its way to your clit. Fingers toying with the sensitive bundle of nerves expertly.

"I should fuck you in the morgue someday." She growls.

"That's a weird thing to want." You moan, barely getting the words out. Valeria pulls you up into her lap. Thrusting up into you, she can't feel anything but clearly, it's doing something to her anyway. Her panting breaths puff against your neck, her hands digging into your lower back.

"Why? There's something so erotic about doing you somewhere I shouldn't."

"Like when we-" You cut yourself off with a whine. "When we fucked in that bar bathroom?"

The coil in your lower abdomen grows tighter and tighter. You rut against her, chasing that release, your slick trickling down the shaft.

"Exactly like it." She replies. "Are you close?"

You nod, nosing along her neck. You can feel your mascara running. "Mhm."

"Good, that's good." Valeria coos, her strong arms keeping you close to her. Black hairs tickle your face and you reach up and lightly tug them. "I want you to come for me."

With her permission you thrust your hips down, mind clearing of everything but the big pink strap currently penetrating you. You shut your eyes and let out a guttural groan, creaming around Valeria's cock.

She pumps it into you a few more times before going still. Sweat coating her neck and back. You slump against her and she slowly lays you down. quickly detaching the harness. You relax into the soft blankets of the bed while Valeria shuffles around with her pants. The bed dips as Valeria lays beside you, lovingly touching your jaw.

"Happy birthday." She whispers, kissing your forehead. You mumble back at her. Soaking in that post-sex high. "You still need to repay me for that money you spent, though."

You furrow your brows. "What?" You mutter. Not bothering to open your eyes.

"You can't just spend that much without giving me something in return." She replies, a smile in her voice.

"I embalm people for you." You mumble defensively. "How else am I supposed to repay you?"

When Valeria doesn't reply you open your eyes. Stunned into a momentary silence. She has a small velvety box presented to you. A seven-carat diamond ring glittering in the candlelight. You shoot up, mouth agape.

"You can repay me by agreeing to be mine forever."

Your hands fly to your mouth. "You're proposing?"

Your question wins you a dry look from Valeria. Yes, she's proposing. You had always imagined this moment. You in a carefully put together outfit, perfect hair and makeup, Valeria down on one knee. It's not exactly the same as your fantasies but you're happy, nonetheless.

You smile gleefully and kiss her.

"Yes!" You say excitedly, voice bordering on a squeal. Valeria chuckles and slides the ring onto your finger. Watching you immediately start inspecting it. Turning your hand this way and that to watch the diamond sparkle. "It's gorgeous." You gush.

Valeria pulls you back down beside her. Sighing tiredly as she rests her chin on the top of your head. "I'm glad you like it, happy birthday Corazón, I love you."

[the-dragon-girl-27]

remember my L/N dinosaurs and my MMJ dinosaurs well now its Vivid Bad Squad time, look a T-rex an animal normal people know about for once (strangely this is one of my best T-rex drawings lmao) (i'm really bad at drawing T-rex like other big theropods i'm fine but t-rex specifically i useally just can't get right)

anyway for the 2 people this appeals to a rant on why i chose these dinos specifically:

Kohane is a psittacosaurus because she'd be a smol cute dino but she wouldn't be like a theropod or anything like that, fun fact psittacosaurus is a dinosaur where we actually know more or less exactly what it looks like while the color is not the same as the real thing there are a few subtle bits that are like the dots on the neck and the cream colored belly and the yellowish feathers i think thats neat

An is a Deinonychus because she'd certanly be a raptor but Utahraptor is too big and Velociraptor is too small so she's a Deinonychus (this is one of my favs in terms of color scheme i like how she almost looks like a magpie)

Akito is a T-rex because he would be a big theropod (tho the t-rex in this drawing is uhh quite small for a t-rex but shhhhh) ena is also going to be a tyrannosaur so look forward to that when i get to hear in like however long it takes me to get to that

Toya is a Baryonyx because he would also be a big theropod and i think akito being a Tyrannosaur and toya being a Spinosaur fits them in a way. I chose Baryonyx specifically because i don't see toya having the big sail (or the fin like tail to a lesser extent) its just less toya shaped in a way if that makes sense let me cook i am correct for all of these

anyway ill get to wanshow eventually lol ive gotten like 3 people asking what tsukasa will be on discord you guys have your priorities

[tiajk]

Zoro doesn’t let people touch his swords but you are an exception

He looks around to make sure no one is looking before he shows any signs of affection he’s so shy lol

He shares his drinks with you on occasion and every time this happens he tries to get you as drunk as possible so he can make fun of you being a lightweight because that’s just him

Maybe a lil smile on occasion because you make him happy AUGHH

Special Treatment

A/n: OMG YES yall im so single it actually hurts me because No one wants me BUT anyways im staring once piece the anime version AND YALL i got carried away asf with this lmao

SPECIAL SWORDS

When he’s napping and you're not he will set his swords by you and go and take a nap he look at you with this look in his eyes that says “protect these please” he won't say it physically unless you make him. If you do it takes him a while to stutter t out but when he does the tips of his ears will be red and he’ll be fidgeting with the ends of his shirt

You're reading a book about the ocean and all the animals that it holds and you hear heavy footsteps coming towards you. You know them, it's Zoro, the man that you love so deeply you would do anything for him. He doesn't have to say anything because you know that he’s looking over you like a shadow. You close your book making the page that you were on and look up at him and smile “you gonna say something or keep staring at me pretty boy?” The corner of his mouth turns up “Huh my presence isn't good enough for you {name}.” “of course but you lurking like a shadow is kinda creepy”. He crosses his arms and shifts onto his foot “I need something from you” You turned your full body towards him giving him your undivided attention it's rare for zoro to ask someone for something. “Well spit it out Ro” “Can you…can you watch my swords for me while I take a nap?” your heart skip a beat he trusted you enough with his treasure you nodded rapidly as he gave you all three of his swords “I'm gonna take a nap ill be up in about an hour or two” “ok zoro they’ll be right here with be when you get back” He nodded he looked around to see if anyone of the crew was there when they weren't he leant in and put a soft kiss on your forehead “thank you I love you”

SHY BOY

Zoro is not shy in himself nor his skills nor his confidence but when it came to you he couldn't even look at you without blushing from head to toe. The crew teased him for it constantly but he never showed affection to you in public.He wants to but part of his is so shy because hes never one anything like this before he was to busy with his swords hes never eine been in a relationship before

He heard you and nami talking about it in your quarters he was planning to take you out since you guys were docked for 2 days and he wanted to make it special He’s about to knock on your door but he hears nami’s voice and that stops him, “Does he even show you affection {name}?” you put your shoes on when she uses it as she's looking at you “what do you mean?” She sights “I don't think he's ever shown any emotion besides when he's drinking” “Nami that's rude he does show affection just not to the crew and i'm fine with that because he's not for everyone else”. “True but {Name} he's stiff as a board next to you I mean he can't even look at you wrought getting all dam-“ There's a knock on the door that stops her “Well thats my date nami see you later.” you blow her a kiss and open the door and see zoro. “Hi” “Hey you ready to go?” you nod “yea I am” you close the door behind you. He looks around twice making sure no one was around “Zoro what are you doing” He doesn’t answer when he puts his hands around your waist pulling you in gently but firm kissing you softly “Just kissing my favorite girl y’know”

HIS LIGHTWEIGHT

Zoro doesn’t play about 3 things: Drinking, His swords and you. And he trusts you with all of his being. That being exactly the reason why he’s making you drink with him right now. You drink but not a lot because you pretty much lightweight it takes. only about 3 cups of alcohol and you're drunk big time .

Zoro was holding your head from falling on the table. He made you drink about 4 cups tonight and now you're drunk and he's laughing his ass off at you. Nami keeps telling him to leave you alone but he doesn’t care because he thinks it's funny “ZoRo?” “yes {name}?” He looks at your room he can tell your tired but he just thinks that you're so cute when your drunk “I think that I love you” That caught him by surprise before he could conjure up something to say your head almost dropped onto the table he caught you even though he’s a little tipsy himself. When they go back to the going merry he puts you in his hammock sliding along with you. When you wake up the next morning your light head and your head is pounding. You try to climb over zoro and go to the bathroom he drags you back down with him before you can move again “Sleep please” he mumbles into your neck “Why we have things to do” He knows there’s no beating you but he lifts himself up so he looks at you “you know that you were an absolute idiot last night right?” you groan and hit your head back on the hammock “Don't tell me please”

YOU MAKE HIM PROUD

Zoro doesn’t smile as much as he should but with you he does and the crew notices that and there happy about it everyone needs to smile every once in a while

you would be in the kitchen with sanding trying to help him but he was getting on your nerves. Zoro s there with you for his mid day drinking he notices how i rated you are “Sanji or the last time its fucking ketchup it isn’t gonna hurt you” “{name} it’s simple really you just ha-“ “Finish that sentence and im going to beat you to a plump then throw you off the ship” Zoro smiles at you e kos you aren’t on for being mean but to the cook it makes his heart swell with joy

[seeminglydark]

tips for a broke punk trying to make diy patches like your “Useless Patch” patch!

So the current Useless patch I have at cons is hand screenprinted by me, but screenprinting does have an initial cost and i think not the best option for a broke punk who is looking to just make a couple of patches. There are so many ways to make patches, but heres what I did when i first started. Get some good 'ol wax paper you can get at the grocery store. and some cheapo acrylic paint, any kind will do, those little bottles you can get anywhere, and one of those spongy brushes. if you are too broke for spongy brush, (they are cheaper at the hardware store than the craft store often time btw) you can use a regular dish sponge or even a folded napkin, you just wanna be able to dab the paint.

get a piece of paper and draw your design on it, you wanna be careful with letters that have enclose spaces like O's and R's, i actually suggest if youre using this method the easiest 'font' to use is the basic punk stencil, which is actually literally just a grade school stencil. you dont need to buy a set, you can look at a reference and draw it or print it out if you have access to a printer and paper (library might help if you dont!) these are the letter type im talking about. Sorry for all these shitty google images lmao. ANYWAY.

grab a razor or an xacto knife and cut the letters out of your wax paper, wax side down, be careful obviously, helps to put a flat piece of cardboard underneath and you can tape it down to keep it in place if you want. once you have your design all cut out you can place it on your piece of fabric. with the wax side down on the piece you plan to paint, run the iron over it. itll stick! neat! now you can grab your paint and use some method (i really like the dab with a sponge brush, dish sponge or papertowel method myself) and paint in your stenciled letters. dont let it dry between coats, layer it up till its a nice solid white or whatever color youre using, let it get slightly tacky but not dry and peel your wax paper off. the design should now be painted on your fabric! hurray! let it dry and the next day, press your iron over it to heat set it and voila! diy cheapo patch. its not going to be perfect, there will be bleeding in your edges, if that bothers you, you can fix it with black (or whatever color your fabric is) paint. either way doesnt matter, punk can be messy. I've made lots of patches this way, heres a pic of the recent ones, the Punks Respect Pronoun patch is the one ive done most with this method, it has the stencil letters i was talking about so it stays in one piece without me having to piece it together. for the record i am totally fine with people making Useless Patch, and if someone does, I'd love to see it! And obligatory shop shill, i will have my own versions of both these patches in my store soon when I get some time! I'm sorry I dont have pics for the process, next time I do it, ill take some and post them <3

Thanks for the Q!

[ebonysplendor]

Symptoms of Deceit (Demo) Review 🐙

TL;DR: We've all encountered fake people. You know, those people who pretend to be something or someone they aren't. But what makes Thaumo's situation so different...? Why can't he just be himself? Oh, because he's psycho. Right. Okay, fair point.

Game Link: https://strawberrysquid0.itch.io/symptoms-of-deceit

Notable Features: Two Yandere LIs, Self-Insert, Custom Pronouns, (slight) UI Customization, (minor) Backstory choice, Multiple Endings Spiciness: 2.5/5 -- Gets a little suggestive at one point...but not enough, and you're damn right I'm anticipating that in the future LI Red Flags: 3/5 -- Gaslighting, murder, stalking, nonconsensual stuff (two pretty light instances), your typical yandere stuff, ya know?

Wanna know more? Well, let's get into it!

You know when you've been out of the flow of doing something for so long, and you lowkey forget how to do the thing...? Not gonna lie, kind've going through that right now lmao. Like, when I tell y'all that, when I went off of memory, I could not for the life of me figure out why that little intro before the actual intro part did not flow right, and I totally skipped over the features, spiciness, and red flags. Lmaoooo I need to get back on my shit. Not to mention, I really like doing these and want to get back in the swing of things

ANYWAYS. This isn't about that; this is about this. This game that is. That's what I meant by "this", in case that wasn't clear...my bad...okay, anyways, getting back on track lmao

I honestly don't have much for the intro because, as typical, it's more suited for the review portion, but let me just say...it's pretty damned promising, and I have a temporary spiked interest in mimic octopuses...octopi?....octopuses; it'll make sense later, I swear, but let me just say this.

MIMIC OCTOPI...octopuses?...ARE SO DAMNED COOL? Like, it's quite literally what it sounds like. It mimics the behaviors of other marine animals, and damn do they mimic a lot of those things! They can mimic jellyfish, sea snakes, crabs, flatfish, shrimp, sealions, gah damned seaweed, fucking sea sponges-- like apparently it is a lot, and they are damned cool, man. I love these things. We stan the thaumoctopus mimicus -- lmao just remember that long, scientifically correct word; that was literally intentional, not just a random name drop.

But enough of that, because you know what has my interest more? This game, and I am excited to tell you about it. So, as per the usual, I will tell you as much about the game as possible without ruining the game itself, and trust me, you're gonna wanna play...but this also may be a bit hard to make spoiler friendly. We're gonna thug it out, and make it work, though!

So, enough yappin'. Let's get into it.

So boom.

It's the end of the day, and we're trying to kill the last bit of time that we have left before we go home. If you work yourself, then you know that I'm talking about that weird ass "It's too late to start working on something (nor do I want to) but I still have like a smooth 8 minutes before I clock out". That being said, we do the only logical thing and scroll on social media for a bit. We're in the middle of reading a post/news article, when this pops up:

I'll explain the article somewhat later, but just stick with me for a second and focus on the notif. We look up and--

Well hello, handsome! Ain't no way we're just working with someone this fine. His name is Nalis, by the by, and I'm gonna get back on track now lol.

So, we exchange a little bit of small talk before one of our other co-workers come up and pretty much yanks him away for some more work. Now, the thing about this is, the co-worker was acting pretty out of character. Like, she was just in a pretty ill mood...but then her personality totally flipped when she was talking to us, and Nalis just shoots us this look like "...the hell is going on with her?". But it's like whatever, because Nalis and her are part of the epidemiology team at our work, and we just figured that the stress was just starting to get to her due to the building cases.

Anyways, with our interaction with Nalis cut short, we clock out and head on home. While walking into the building, though, we run into this adorable, blushing mess of a man

Remember that long ass scientifically correct word I gave you? Thaumoctopus mimicus? Everyone, this is Thaumo. Thaumo, this is everyone. See? Told you it'd matter later lol.

Anyways, as expected, we get locked into some small talk, and Thaumo takes the plunge and asks for our number under the guise of "neighbors looking out for each other". ...Yeah, no, naur, that's all right.

We make it quick, shut him down, text the bae friendo, and go in for the night. The next day rolls around, we mess with Nalis for a bit, and...something quite curious happens.

Remember our co-worker that was acting weird yesterday? Well, she comes in, and we check in with her about yesterday, and she just--

Wha--? The fuck you mean, you didn't see him...?

Now, this wouldn't be an issue if she was scatterbrained or something, but she isn't in the slightest. Even when she's tired, she has a damned solid memory and would've definitely remembered something like that, so her simply forgetting is not likely or even probable. Something is very clearly off, but we're not entirely sure of why yet and before we can question it more, she leaves to go to her sector of the building.

Some hours of doing work later, it's around lunch time. We didn't bring our lunch today, so we sit for a moment to figure out what we're gonna do, but Nalis comes around the corner just in time. We make eye contact, but he doesn't really say much, and he looks...different somehow. We brush it off though and ask what he's doing about lunch and if it's cool if we can join him and...

Oof...okay, maybe not.

Despite this though, he fixes his face and tells us it's cool and invites us to go to the vending machine with him. Even still though, he's acting really weird. Like, he's being kind've withdrawn, he's being lowkey insulting, he's spewing all this weird shit about ethics and death, and his whole vibe is just extremely off. It's so bad that we don't even feel comfortable let alone safe with him being around us. I think he lowkey picks up on it though because then he's all "Just pretend that this conversation didn't happen", and it's just, lol what?

But bump it, we bail. We leave him in there, and thankfully, he gave us an exit to do so.

More time goes by, and the phone starts blowing up about some new hire. Well, let me rephrase that. Not a new hire, but someone that's pretty much going to be making sure that we're using the money that their company is giving us to good use and, wouldn't you know it--

That very individual is Thaumo, and he's going to be hanging out with us throughout this whole ordeal. Granted, this isn't entirely bad because the things that Nalis and his team do are extremely confidential, and we're quite literally left out of everything, so it's lowkey nice knowing someone else isn't going to have the full picture about what's going on either. Speaking of Nalis...

The asshole popped up at our desk a few hours later. Of course, we're not as happy to be around him, and he's trying to pry about why. This lowkey pisses us off because he's taking that whole "This conversation didn't happen" shit too literal, and it's like, bro, be fucking for real right now; this shit is not cool. Like, don't gaslight me and act like you weren't acting like a complete donkey during lunch.

"Didn't see us at lunch"? "No time for a full..."? Ayo, what the fuck man? First our coworker, now Nalis? What the fuck is going on with this???

Nalis helps us come to the conclusion that we had likely fell asleep and just had a super vivid dream. We don't fully believe this, but we literally don't have any other form of proof that would suggest otherwise. Either way, we calm down, Nalis reassures us, and we part ways with us going home and him back down to the lab.

That day ends and the next one begins in which Nalis makes a new group chat with Thaumo in it and without the boss, and Nalis is like "Arcade?". We decline, though, and so does Thaumo. We spend our lunch break with Nalis more comfortably this time, and the rest of the day proceeds like normal: uneventful. Well, that is until we're about to head home and receive this text:

Now, for some context, SWSS is Sea Star Wasting Syndrome. Remember that article that I mentioned in the beginning? The one with the body? That's what we were reading about, and it's pretty deadly. As I promised, I'll explain a bit more.

The world that we live in, people (can?) have animal associations, and those associations can be either strong or weak -- most people's are weak. That being said, naturally, the people who are suffering from SWSS have associations with sea stars, which is why Nalis was like "even though you aren't susceptible" because that's not our animal association. This also explains the animal contact photos/pfps, if you were wondering about that at one point, as well.

Anyways, we just think about how much SWSS sucks, and we proceed to clock out and take an alternative route home. Well, that kind've goes left because on this route home we still run into trouble. Admittedly, it was by our own nosiness, but it was trouble nonetheless.

To make a long story short...nah, I'm just fuckin' with ya lol. I ain't gonna tell ya.

To be real with you? I literally can't tell you because it'll be, what I feel, is a major spoiler, and there's no way for me to finesse it and tell you what happened without it completely spoiling it...even though I'm pretty certain you can read between the lines and see what's going on.

Just in case you didn't catch on and want a little more insight, I'll tell you this much: Remember that we live in a world where people have animal associations, meaning certain qualities, appearances, and abilities can be adopted; Thaumo has a strong association with his animal...

Again, I'm pretty sure you can read between the lines, but even still, you think you might know what's going on just off that, but you honestly have no clue, because also remember...

There's two yanderes this time, and I didn't even tell you Nalis' animal association.

I'm telling you -- it's not as clear of a picture as you may be thinking.

Okay, so admitedly, this review is LONG over due, because I played this months ago and just never finished the review for it, but I am so excited for this game to be completed!

The story itself is so interesting, and the fact that-- ah, I can't tell you but damn it, just, if you could still figure it out without me saying it or you could read between the lines, I'm just really geeked about this, and I want to see how everything pans out.

Like, I know that the content warning included gaslighting, but I didn't know that it meant like IRL! Like, I was -- oh my fu -- I can't really tell you that either! This is actually frustrating, not gonna lie lol.

Like I've mentioned, I am fairly confident that you can tell what's going on based on what I gave you despite me not explicitly saying it and doing my damndest to tip toe around it...but just know that that whole "gaslighting" content warning is applying IRL for me right now. Like, I have so many questions, and I demand that this game be finished so that I can get them answered!

The other wild part about this game, though, is that, if you actually go back and read it after getting some more information, there's actually allusions as to what's going on in certain scenarios! It literally made me go "Ohhhh now that part makes more sense! ... Yo, that's crazy". Like, it's honestly pretty well done as far being just discreetly enough to have you kind've gloss over it, but you can definitely pick up on it if you pay attention to it, especially if you go to replay it for the other endings.

Now, let's talk about the pacing. Pretty solid and well done, in my opinion! There were definitely some parts that were definitely more "storytelling based", but it didn't drag on for long, and the storytelling bits made sense and were necessary. Admittedly, it had somewhat rushed transitions to certain parts, but I still thought it flowed pretty damned well in all honesty. Then again, that's what happens when you have an interesting storyline, and people are more interested in the story itself versus the "You wake up the next day, and head to work after getting ready" transition.

Then again, I honestly prefer it to be that versus "You wake up. You go to the bathroom to brush your teeth. You look at your teeth. Ick. You get over the ick. You walk out. You go to the kitchen. You open the fridge. You reach it. You grab the mi--" Like oh my Gods, bro, I get it. Please get on with it. It's like, I get it because it's necessary, but like get to the point. That just kills the momentum to me, or if there wasn't any momentum to start with, it just makes the story/transition drag for longer than it needs to. Speaking of making things longer than needed and getting on with it...

If it's not obvious at this point, I definitely recommend this game. I recommend it so much that I will be providing you the link right here, right now, multiple times in a row. So just...ya know...click on any of those and download it to your computer, brah. All jokes and silliness aside, you'd be seriously missing out if you don't, because the story is there, and I find it super interesting. Also! If you'd like to, give the dev that ever encouraging and desperate "DROP ANOTHER UPDATE, AND MY LIFE IS YOURS~! Also, really love your game! You're doing really well! BUT PLEASE LET ME BANG NALIS AND THAUMO!". Also, also! I didn't see anything that indicated that they were open to monetary support, but if you find it, I'm sure they'd really appreciate the donation.

That all being said, that is finally all from me, and I will let you go about your day now! Big preesh for getting this far. Huge reminder! Please drink water, don't be dumb, and hope to see you around~!

Symptoms of Deceit

[yourlocalalpha]

I was reading your bsd organization leaders as parents and was wondering if I could get something similar but with a young teen child around Kyoka and Kenji's age?

(I'm sorry if this is redundant)

NO I love writing family headcanon sm so if you request something like this ill definitely be writing it.

I know I haven't been active lately. I don't use Tumblr much and i have to study🥀 anyways here you go anon

BSD organization leaders with a young teen!reader

Fukuzawa Yukichi

You'd think he would be strict as a father but no. He just says one disappointed sentence and you feel like you've dishonored ten generations of ancestors.

You’ll be like, “I got into a fight at school.”

His reaction ”I see.” That's the punishment

Is it a metaphor?? Is he disappointed?? Proud?? Is this a test??? (He knows exactly what he’s doing.)

Once you came to his room ”i accidentally threw a rock at the police and I need legal advice.”

He thinks something is wrong with you but no you're just like this.

You go to his office and say dumb things just to get a reaction. He doesn't even flinch.

He adapts like it’s the most normal thing in the world.

“Use the other towel if you’re pretending to be a ghost. That one’s still damp.”

You see him holding back a smile everytime.

Your scrolling at 3am with brightness on 100% Fukuzawa will appear in the doorway then take away your phone like he's sealing a cursed sword.

If you get in trouble with the law he refers to you as ”my child” formally. It makes a difference, trust.

He enrolled you in martial arts without asking. You’re not sure if it’s because he wants to pass on his swordsmanship or because he caught you holding scissors wrong.

If you add sugar to your tea he stares at you like you committed war crimes. ”If you wanted candy water you should of said so.”

Ranpo starts questioning your intelligence and your snack preferences.

“Are you good at math? How many jelly beans are in this jar? Go.”

Atsushi knows what you feel. He knows what it's like to lose everything and end up somewhere new. But he's shocked- “I can’t believe the President is raising a Gen Z child”

Yosano is like your older sister now. “If anything hurts tell me right away. Doesn't matter if it’s physical or not.”

You once told Kunikida that his notebook would be cooler if it had stickers.

“You... had so much potential.”

Dazai is canonically good with kids. He takes you out to get icecream. Knows how to get words out of you (lmao) asks if ”You got any weird talents?” while he's smiling like an idiot.

You try to befriend Kyouka. She's not loud herself but she defends you when you get scolded.

Kenji gives you organic milk ”drink this, you'll grow taller.”

Mori Ougai

This man has no gifs💔

Silly with Elise but actually acts like an adult around you.

No fast food.

Gives you vitamin gummies in the shape of organs

When you fake sick to skip school he says:

“Convincing 6/10. Next time add slight shaking and glassy eyes.”

Regular checkups. You know what a stethoscope feels like on your back more than most medical students do.

“Open your mouth wider. Don’t be dramatic, it’s just a tongue depressor.”

You learn all the biological terms.

“My tummy hurts”

“Lower quadrant or upper quadrant?”

”...”

He’s bluntly honest. If you ask where babies come from, he gives you a scientifically accurate 30 minute explanation.

He gives off the illusion of freedom. But you start to realize every street you walk down has a Port mafia member hanging around.

“Wait… am I being babysat by Higuchi in sunglasses and a wig.”

He’s one of those horrible at phrasing it dads.

“I feel like I’m not good enough.”

“Statistically speaking, you probably aren’t.”

“WHAT.”

“But neither is anyone else. You’ll be fine.”

You can't enter his room without permission and there's no expectations.

“I’m the Boss’s kid.”

“Boss said no exceptions.” hello?? That's crazy???

He will compare you to Dazai in the most unhinged ways possible.

“Dazai used to sneak out by picking the lock with a spoon.”

”Okay?”

You once skipped school and Mori was SO unbothered.

“Nice try. Dazai once staged his own funeral. You’ll need to try harder.”

He bribes you constantly. Get good grades and he will buy you whatever you want.

Chuuya’s not the type to get involved in things he doesn’t have to, especially when it involves Mori's private matters.

But he makes sure you don't even stub your toe because well, your father will question it even if it's small.

Higuchi babysits you when Mori leaves you to her. She was very nervous around you at first.

“Are you cold? Hungry? You don’t look well. Wait, are you feverish? Should I call- no. I’ll handle it. I was trained for this. Probably.”

“I love my job” she says her eye twitching as Mori hands her another file for “bonding time” with his child.

Hirotsu is not the type to teach you how to kill. He’d rather teach you how to read body language or defuse a conflict with words first.

Calls you “Young Master” or “Young Lady” (even if you tell him to stop).

Corrects your kanji. Answers every “why” you ask, no matter how stupid.

Kouyou will teach you how to hide a knife in your sleeve, walk without sound, and kill without a sound. (if you choose that path)

To be honest Dazai wouldn't be nice to you or empathize with you.

You cry? He’ll use it to manipulate your allies. You ask him for help? He’ll smile and walk away if he doesn’t use it against you later. To him everything is leverage. Even your pain.

Remember when he told Q that he would rip their heart out next time? The same applies to you.

Taneda Santoka

I'm so sorry you had to see this💔

He’s not strict, he’s tired.

You could show up to breakfast in a full demon cosplay and he would just go

“...That’s nice. Eat your eggs.”

He protects your civilian status at all costs.

You’re not registered as an ability user (even if you are. Doesn't matter if you're evil.)

Despite running Special Division for unusual powers, Taneda would never train you for combat unless absolutely necessary.

He does NOT let you near sensitive documents.

You will not meet Dazai. You will not walk near PM territory or ADA.

You make one (1) mistake and he says “Small mistakes are how buildings fall.” Okay sir?? I just dropped my water bottle??

You said “I might drop out and become a criminal.” He just handed you a folder titled ’Projected Consequences of Your Stupid Plan’ that contains: Maps, survival plans and a detailed list of who would and would not bail you out of prison.

You asked for a game console. He said no so you emotionally ghosted him.

Later that week he bought you a Switch, 3 games and a note left: “I will not be emotionally manipulated. Enjoy.”

You show him a TikTok video and he just goes “This is how nations fall.”

Still says “why are you like this” at least twice a day.

If you turn out to be a criminal? He becomes Chief Taneda, not your father.

He will step back operationally and reassign your case.

Taneda will not be the one to strike but he will not interfere when the Special Division comes for you. That's the only mercy he can give.

Ango just goes “...Of course.” he knew.

He doesn’t treat you like a child. He treats you like a walking diplomatic liability.

If Taneda dies or is weakened, you will be placed under surveillance. Which means he now owns your future.

Tsujimura assumes you know how to kill a man with a pencil. You might not. She doesn’t care.

Ayatsuji thinks you will be an interesting file in the hands of Special Division one day. Probably one that ends with criminal activity.

[glitter-stained]

i'm in love with the lantern bats au.

dick is the two bagels vine.

tim convinces duke and dick to reenact star wars battles with him (because red green and blue)

also since lantern constructs are energy constructs, does that mean that Dick can just make lightning with his hands? (if so, bro is not beating the sith allegations /j)

Glad you like it!!

Lmao just watched the two-bagels vine and it's so funny yes yes i can see this happening

Another thing that I like is the idea that because Dick is so experienced in the field and observant and stuff he'd easily be able to like spot signs of mental illness/vulnerability and be like "Nightwing, what's your opinion on the situation?/ I think all of these people need urgent psychiatric care and also here's a list of their symptoms and professionals I'd advise referring them to./ I mean on the mission, Nightwing./ Oh yeah, we should definitely team-up with them." I also actually believe he'd have good enough insight, like he knows he is also not okay and in dire need of therapy. But is he gonna get it though? He doesn't want to. I like the idea of a Dick who just shoves it aside to deal with later (knowing full well he will not) and lying or pushing people away when they show concern, and I think giving that version of Dick a red lantern ring would make for such funny interactions. Like "yeah no no i'm fine", he says, bright red. And Duke Tim Steph and Dick definitely recreate a star wars battle thanks to a team effort from Tim and Steph. Also love the hc of Duke having comedic unreciprocated beef with Dick and being ecstatic to fight him with a laser saber.

I think Dick masters lightning once he's really gotten through his "actually anger can be a good thing and is not a fundamentally bad emotion that will make me a danger if I unleash it"arc, like a little anime power-up reward for leveling up and getting a passing grade in character development. Duke nicknames him Darth Wing for a whole three months after this.

[futuregws]

yeah no one will ever convince me the slew of hatred for s2 doesn’t come from a bigoted place. some people are normal and don’t like the show, thats totally fine.l not liking the season, fine idc. you’re not even obligated to like bella (can’t imagine that), but if thats the case, its so easy to not interact with content about a celebrity you dislike. these people go out of their way to be hateful because bella is young, queer, enby and an easy target for them. I went to watch bella’s kimmel interview and the amount of comments from fucking obsessed losers spewing their classic lines was insane for a video that was just posted. they literally keep tabs on everything bella does so they can continue the harrassment.

also people who constantly bring up bella as the reason they dislike the show are a red flag to me. season 1 they complained bella was “too ugly”, now they’ve all pivoted to saying bella is a “terrible” actor because they think thats a more valid reason to be a hater. terrible actors don’t get nominated for emmys, GGs, SAGs, and baftas but okay you guys are the experts lol. none of these people think for themselves and just repeat the same horseshit they see others say. and they’ve actually convinced themselves what they say is true. thats why a lot of the criticisms of s2 I don’t take in good faith, bc they don’t come from a rational place, they come from people who were intent on hating bella to begin with.

I think the thing that is """sad""" is that the people who genuinely have criticism for the show and it's coming from a place of no ill intent and simply wanting to share their opinions, end up getting a bad rep from the other people who hate on season 2 for all worst reasons, people obviously do not have to love the show or this season or even Bella, but it's the way things are said that really does it, and while I'm a firm believer that the majority of fans did enjoy season 2 the people who didn't are very obnoxious and very loud and this people in question are the ones saying the nastiest shit that just makes it look like hate for the sake of hating which I still do think for a shit ton of people that is the case so the love for the show, or any valid criticism gets drowned out in a way, when you look at comments of people talking shit about the show there's never one comment that is coherent and makes sense from beginning to the end bc they always include some shit that is just hypocritical (like the examples I posted) I mean saying that the show sucks and that you didn't even finish it, how tf do you even know the show sucks then, if you didn't finish it, my favorite show was one that I took so long to get past the first few episodes but then I fell in love, I gave it an opportunity I didn't go around saying it's a terrible show when I hadn't even seen it lmao it doesn't make sense. And this is more of an unpopular opinion but I hate book/game purists and I don't mean people who want the source material to stick to the original I mean people who will go on crazy rants about it hating on it so much just to then still watch it and give it attention*cough* hotd and tlou fans *cough* so this whole thing really doesn't help how I feel.

It's honestly I don't even have words to describe it crazy doesn't feel like a strong enough word for people that will actively go out of their way just to hate on someone who is doing their job and all bc they don't fit some messed up beauty standard?? It's nuts, and then you call out those people and say "you're just hating on Bella bc you wanted to sexualize Ellie" and the way they get defensive "who said anything about sexualizing" "why are you sexualizing her" oof. The fact that they went to their Kimmel interview video just to hate like what does that say about this whole hate, like tell me I'm fucking wrong about what I've been saying bc I don't think I am lmao, they are switching to their acting now so they can't get attacked but it's still very obvious and the defensiveness too