#they make me so happy and so sad at the same time

[writerdownbookworder]

“What’re you doing here?” I mumble over my shoulder. Although I’m not looking, I know without a doubt who it is.

Ray sighs. “Look, for what it’s worth, I’m sorry.”

“Not worth much,” I say, staring at the picture of my partner, framed and unnatural. She never would have wanted this. Her family didn’t know her anymore, why were they allowed to make these choices?

A groan behind me finally makes me turn. Ray stands there with his arms crossed, full disguise. I stare at him so long - not thinking much of anything, just numb - that I startle when he clears his throat.

“How long are you going to mope like this, Saga?”” He uses my code name, although I’m not dressed in my usual clothes. I didn’t take much care with my disguise today, just throwing on my mask and hood over dark clothes for the funeral.

I look away. “”If you came here to fight, let’s just get it over with. I’m not in the mood today.”

He sighs again. Why does he keep doing that? “I’m not here to fight. I’m here to pay my respects. I know you and Kya were close.”

“It’s my fault,” I whisper, turning back to the picture. She wasn’t just my partner, she was my best friend. I knew she was still a newbie, and I told her to go by herself. I thought she could handle it. 

By the time I got there, it was too late.

“Hey,” Ray says gently, shocking me. “It wasn’t your fault. I was there, remember? No one could have predicted that a normal everyday occurrence would turn so violent.” 

It was true. Ray had been there, for the same reason I was. Our fight had traveled several blocks and we happened to chance upon the scene. My fight with Ray had been forgotten as I rushed to Kya’s aid, and until this moment, I had forgotten he had been there at all.

I start walking toward the door, unable to stay a moment longer. 

Ray follows me. “It’s okay to be sad, Saga.”

I stubbornly ignore him.

He rolls his eyes behind me and I scoff. “You know I can see you. Why do you insist on being rude anyway?”

He grins. “It’s what I do best. I just wanted to make sure you’re okay.”

“Argh!” I whip around to face him, face red with anger. Ray actually takes a step back. “I am not okay! My rookie died because of something I told them to do! My best friend is gone because I wasn’t there for her! And worst of all, she never got the chance to do anything she wanted to do! She was only 19…” My voice trails off with a sob.

Ray opens his mouth, but I cut him off. “No, you know what’s worse? You, coming here, to her funeral to mock me. Follow me, fight me, yell at me to your heart's content, but don’t sit here and mock me by pretending you care about Kya or my feelings!”

“Fine!” he snaps back, finally losing his temper. “I’ll tell you the truth if you want!”

I throw my hands up in frustration. “What I really want is for you to leave me alone, but go ahead!”

Ray’s voice drops back down in volume, slightly lower than his regular speaking tone, his voice shaking slightly with anger. “I’m not pretending anything. I may not have known Kya much at all, but I do know that on the few occasions I saw her, she seemed to be a genuinely good and happy person.”

“Why do you-”

“I’m not finished!” he snaps, before continuing again. “As for you, I do know you. I knew you would blame yourself, I knew you would be upset and sad, I knew that you would be here, and I knew you would stay long after everyone else left. I know you. Your feelings haven’t been a mystery to me for years! 

“The truth is, I know who you are.” He doesn’t meet my eyes as he says it. “Inside, outside, underneath the mask and hood. You aren’t a mystery to me. I honestly thought you would recognize me long before now.”

I stare at him, unable to speak, trying to understand what he is telling me. “You-”

Ray looks up into my eyes, voice soft. “Emma.”

He slowly pulls off the mask, revealing the one face I didn’t expect to see.

The one that equal parts of me hated and loved, unable to decide between desire and defense. Part of me never wanted to see him again, had hoped he died.

Part of me was so relieved that I wanted to cry.

I chose the latter.

your a super Villian/super hero who's partner just died. When the funeral was supposed to be attended, nobody came, except for one person, your arch nemesis, who came there to comfort you through these tough times

[miriani-lavellan]

Ahh, Lucanis. So let me first say, his scenes make total sense and I'm happy with what we got - we all want more from our faves, but they did manage to compact a lot of trauma and resolution in some fairly compact quests. Here's what I think happened that wasn't made explicitly clear though:

Lucanis chooses the pantry to sleep in because he's been imprisoned and tortured for a year, and he's not ready to leave captivity yet, not inside his head. He locks himself in there because it's familiar misery to him, which is easier to deal with than scary freedom.

Lucanis' letter to Rook before he asks Emmrich to bring Zara back for questioning tells us he's suicidal at that point, and probably has been for a while. Spite, however, doesn't see him as a lost cause - he never uses that to take over Lucanis' body entirely. This is so interesting to me, when we know things like that pretty famously happen all the time in Thedas. He's determined to keep Lucanis alive - and he asks for Rook's help in doing so.

We are in the NORTH now BABY! Attitudes towards spirits and demons are different here, especially in Rivain, and it seems with our Rook too, who never expresses any chantry-esque hang ups (that I've seen). Seer Rowan greets Spite as Determination, and that's how he's introduced by Isabela (with some excitement) if you fight in the hall of Valor. What happened to Spite is just as sad as what happened to Lucanis. He was violated, perhaps corrupted, and definitely trapped - and hurts Lucanis sometimes in his frustration. But, I think he likes Lucanis! He's his host's little head gremlin, and I think the relationship they have (that we don't see too much of) is healthier than any of the possessed individuals we've seen before.

Because? Lucanis is not a spiteful person. He wants revenge, yes, and he's angry, but he doesn't hurt everyone around him because he's in pain. One of the first things he does when he becomes part of the team is go shopping for them. And despite how Ilario and Caterina have hurt him - and you can argue all day whether he's right to be like this - he still cares for them.

I think that when we help Lucanis leave the prison inside his head, we are helping Spite too return to his original nature as Determination just a little more. We're determined to help our friend, and you know what? Spite is too. For himself, firstly, because Lucanis's pain is hurting him, but in the end, he's done it for Lucanis too. There's an argument there that Determination didn't get corrupted at all - just hurt, and that Lucanis, with his loving nature, has been keeping him from turning into a mindless demon of pain.

I thought for a long time that when Lucanis breaks away from kissing Rook, it was because Spite said something horrible to him. But actually, I think it was Lucanis himself, remembering how trapped he is. Thinking about the eventuality of killing himself - I strongly suspect that's what he was thinking about before he fell asleep, and that's why Spite was trying to go walkabout - trying to get out from where Lucanis can't. Lucanis got lost in the moment, but of course he doesn't want to drag Rook into that.

Lucanis making dessert for Rook and thinking that's the same as asking them out (but not actually asking them out) is so completely on brand for him I laughed. He has no idea what he's doing. It would have been nice, though, for Rook to reply to one of the companion's 'so you're together?' banters with... 'we are?' Or for Rook to be able to ask him. Unfortunately, we don't get those convos where we can spam ask questions etc like in DA:I - I did wonder if that got cut and we missed some resolution to that.

Lucanis gives no shits about everyone knowing he's Rook's love interest. He's not ashamed of himself or scared he'll hurt them - Rook has helped both him and Spite. And judging by the way Spite's wings come out to embrace Rook as they kiss Lucanis, I suspect that Spite might love them, too.

[masonmontz]

hellooo everyone :) hope you like it

REMEMBER: english is not my first language

angst word count: 2,6k

✦‎۟    ࣭   ⊹

Mason doesn't know when things started going wrong, but it's been a while.

Since that night.

The night a piece of Mason died, because before everything was beautiful and happy, and now he feels like everything is blue. Mason is not a melancholic person, but he doesn't know how to get out of it when no one is understanding what is happening to him.

“Hi, can you come to Manchester alone?” Mason asked his mother on the phone, and it was the first time in over a year that Mason had asked Debbie to come to him. Only her, because Mason needs a comfort that only Debbie can give him, the comfort that only a mother can give a child.

“I'm taking a train tomorrow” she replied and he nodded before hanging up, but not before answering several questions, and honestly Mason didn't want to answer any of them because he was too sad. 

Mason hung up the phone and went to the kitchen looking for something to eat, but he's a disaster at cooking and had no head to think, so he just picked up his phone and ordered Japanese food.

He wasn't really hungry, but if he didn't eat, he knew he would have terrible training tomorrow. Some days Mason just ate out of obligation, smiled out of obligation, talked because others talked to him, and he does everything like a robot.

Mason stood at the kitchen window and watched the rain falling outside. Winter was coming and Mason was going crazy, everything was strange, he finally returned to training after a few weeks injured, but not even that could make him happy.

Mason hasn't been able to feel happy for over a month. 

And he doesn't know when he'll be able to get over it.

✦‎۟    ࣭   ⊹

“So, do you want to talk about it?” Debbie asked him the next day after he got back from training. She was sitting on the couch and Mason sat on the floor when he arrived, just to play with Ace for a bit. Debbie knew there was something very wrong with her son, Mason was silent, sad.

“Hum, yeah, of course, I just don’t know how” Mason sighed in frustration, for a month he has been mulling over the same thing in his head, surviving day after day, but he feels like he is about to explode. “It's hurting me, mum.”

Debbie felt sorry for him because he looked miserable. Mason sighed and lay on the floor, looking up at the ceiling above him.

“Let's start at the beginning, okay? Was it something between you and Y/n?”

Mason's heart sank when she spoke your name to him, because Mason had refused to talk about it for a month, and now he felt all the feelings rushing into his chest at once like bullets.

Debbie knew about you, you and Mason had only been together for a few months, but he seemed more in love than ever. 

“I was going to be a father” Mason whispered and the memory of that terrible night came rushing back to his head, a terrible place in his mind that he couldn't get out of on his own. “She lost our baby.”

“What?” Debbie couldn't hide her surprise and shock, because she didn't expect this. 

“It was my fault.”

Mason has been reliving that night in his head all the time, ever since he heard the doctor say the baby didn't survive. Mason remembers the feeling that was like several knives hitting him, he had never felt anything like it. Mason remembers the scene of you crying in the hospital bed, he can even hear the sobs when he closes his eyes, and that sound has terrified him every night.

“Why is it your fault, Mason?” Debbie asked, getting off the couch and sitting on the floor. Mason laid his head on Debbie's legs, feeling his heart ache as she stroked his hair, just like a mother does with a child. 

It was a very rainy night, Mason had an interview scheduled at Old Trafford and he decided he wouldn't go by car, as Bruno was also going and Mason asked to go with him. Bruno left first and Mason asked you to pick him up, but more than twenty minutes had passed and you still hadn't arrived, and Mason started to get worried, but he couldn't leave, because you could arrive at any moment.

But the only thing that arrived was a message from your number, but it wasn't you who wrote it. Mason's heart stopped at that moment as he read the message saying that your car had slid off the road and crashed, but you were fine, you just needed to go to the hospital because of the baby. 

Mason paid the Uber driver a lot more while he begged him to go faster because he was so worried he was biting his nails.

Shit, it was his fault, Mason shouldn't have asked you to pick him up in that heavy rain. Anyone knew it could be dangerous.

Mason ran through the halls after finding out which room you were in, and he sighed in relief when he saw you lying there without a scratch, but when you turned to head towards the door, Mason saw red eyes.

He didn't want to think the worst, but it was impossible.

“Hey, you good?” he approached, shaking, Mason's hands began to sweat. He was happy that you were alive, that you were okay.

You opened your mouth to respond, but a sob escaped your throat and you began to cry desperately. Mason sat on the hospital bed and hugged you, not caring that he was wet from the rain.

“How is our baby? Is everything fine?” 

Mason felt his heart break into a thousand pieces when you pressed your face against his chest and cried, and Mason felt trapped in a nightmare when he understood what had happened. You looked up and looked at Mason, you were inconsolable, suffering, and it was then that Mason realized that it was his fault.

“I lost- I lost our baby” he couldn't say anything, but you were squeezing Mason so tightly that he couldn't get away and get away from you. “I’m so sorry, Mason. I’m so sorry.”

Mason didn't know why you were apologizing. He didn't say anything, Mason didn't even let a tear fall, he couldn't cry when you were desperate in his arms.

“It wasn't your fault, Mason” Debbie said to Mason when he told her what had happened, and she wiped the tear that fell down her son's face. “Don’t say that ever again.”

“I shouldn't have asked her to pick me up, I should have taken an Uber or taxi and left her at home, safe.”

You would still be pregnant if it weren't for the car crash that caused you to lose the baby, and you wouldn't be sad right now, nor would Mason. And you wouldn't be separated either. You were going to have a beautiful baby, Mason thought it was a girl, and then he was going to have two of you.

Everything was ruined now, and it was all his fault.

Mason also can't forget your crying when he left you two days later like a coward, the guilt was consuming him and he accepted that you would be much better without him. He was a coward, Mason couldn't accept that he made you suffer like that, and that's why he decided to leave, so as not to cause any more damage to your life.

Mason didn't know what was worse, remembering you crying when you told him you had a miscarriage or when you were crying and begging him not to leave you. 

“Why did you leave her, Mason?” 

“Because I don't want to cause her any more suffering.”

“Mason, I'm your mother, and I'm not going to hide what I think about this. You're suffering, you think it's your fault but it's not, and I'm sure Y/n thinks the same.” Mason closed his eyes, it still hurt to think about it, and maybe it would never stop hurting. “I can't imagine your pain, losing a child is probably the greatest pain anyone can go through, even if the child hasn't been born yet.”

“But a mother's pain is probably greater, what if Y/n thinks it's her fault? Have you thought about that? I don't want to put any weight on your shoulders, but you left her at the worst moment of her life. She might be suffering much more without you than with you.”

“She's probably better off without me.”

“I'm only going to tell you this once. You know she loves you, that woman would do anything for you and I know you would do anything for her, don't ruin what was the best thing that ever happened to you because you're stubborn. I'm so sorry you lost a child, Mason, I'm truly sorry, it's a dream to be a grandmother again, but I'm not going to let you cry here alone when you could be by her side and you can get through this together.”

Mason cried. For the first time in a month he cried. Mason let out all the pain of losing his baby, crying eased the pain he had in his chest, but not the guilt.

Debbie let him cry and cried with him, because Mason was still her son and she didn't want to see any of her children suffer. She would let them all cry on her lap whenever they needed to.

“I don't want to make her sadder.” he confessed quietly and felt his mother's fingers in his hair. 

“You need to be with her, Mason, no one wants to go through this alone.”

“I think it was a girl.”

Mason could imagine a little girl running around the house, with hair the same color as him, but with your smile. She would definitely have your personality.

“I wish you had told me sooner that I was going to be a grandmother. I'm so sorry about that, Mason. I never wanted you to have to go through the pain of losing a child.”

“I feel like my heart has been crushed for a month.”

“Please go talk to her, she deserves an explanation and you don't deserve to go through this apart.”

✦‎۟    ࣭   ⊹

You sighed when you felt a drop of rain fall on your face, walking faster to the entrance of the building where you live with some groceries in your hands. It still wasn't fast enough, because the rain got heavier and you got soaked as you tried to reach the building.

“Oh, Lord” you muttered to yourself when you reached the gate, and didn't even look ahead as you made sure no bags were ripped. 

You stopped when you saw Mason standing at the entrance of the building outside, staring at you. He was standing leaning against the wall, and you felt your heart race because you hadn't seen him in over a month. 

He had his hair shaved, and you knew it was because he took a hit to the head that caused him to get stitches. God, you loved him so much you could cry, and he was so beautiful and you hated him for leaving you.

Not even the rain bothered you at that moment, because you couldn't look at anything else but Mason. Mason pushed himself off the wall and walked towards you, but he called you to get out of the rain that had now left all your hair and clothes wet. 

“Hey” you said, handing the bags to Mason when he asked. “Do you want to come in?”

Of course, you couldn't help but notice the deep circles under his eyes, and Mason looked thinner than usual. You knew you looked just as bad as he did.

“If you don't mind, I want to.” 

Mason walked you to your apartment in silence, and you didn't know what to say. It was a surprise to see him there, it had been a terrible month and you still hadn't recovered. 

Mason put all the bags in the kitchen while you went to the bathroom to get a towel to dry yourself. Mason followed you when you went to your bedroom, and his desolate look on you warmed your heart, because you thought you were the only one who suffered with what happened, but Mason was there in front of you suffering.

“I'm going to take a shower” you mumbled and took off your clothes, knowing Mason was watching you. “Come with me?”

You didn't wait for Mason and went to the bathroom, turning on the hot water in the shower to take a long shower after the cold rain. You stepped into the shower and watched as Mason silently took off his clothes, and soon after he was in the shower with you.

“Why did you leave me?” you whispered looking at Mason. Mason opened his mouth to respond but he couldn't, he started crying and put his hands on his face. “Mason, it’s fine.”

“I’m so sorry, Y/n. I’m so sorry, please forgive me. It was my fault and-”

“What?” you asked, because you had no idea that Mason was blaming himself for what happened. “It wasn't your fault, what are you talking about?”

Mason knelt on the bathroom floor and wrapped his arms around your waist, crying into you as the hot water ran over you.

“I should have never asked you to come pick me, it's my fault, you lost our baby because of me.” God, you didn’t think you could feel this much pain. Mason had been blaming himself for a whole month, and you would never have let him go if you knew. You knelt in front of him and held his face in your hands.

“Listen to me, this wasn't your fault, it was an accident and accidents happen.” He shook his head and you rested his forehead against yours, hugging his neck. “Why did you leave me?”

“I didn't want you to hate me, I didn't want to make you suffer more.”

“I suffered more without you by my side.”

“Forgive me, please.”

“There's nothing to forgive, Mason. You lost a son too, I know this is hard for you too.”

“I shouldn't have let you go through this alone.”

“Never leave me again, please.”

“Never again, never again. I promise. I’m so sorry.” 

“I wish I was still pregnant.” you confessed, because it's true. You've lived very happy weeks since you found out about the pregnancy.

“I know, me too.” Mason left a kiss on your forehead and you held him closer to you. It was an intimate moment, two hearts hurting but finding healing together. “I love you, I’m so sorry.” 

“I love you, I’m sorry too.” you kissed Mason. “We'll get through this together, okay?”

“I'm sorry I was away from you for a month, you've been through hell alone.”

“Don't worry, you're with me now.”

You took a shower together, nothing more than small kisses, because you just wanted to spend time together. It was an important moment, Mason felt like he was forgiven even though he had nothing to be forgiven for, and you knew that now you could fully heal, Mason was once again with you.

Sometimes the bad times just show you that you're better together than you are apart, and Mason finally understood what his mum said, about healing together, and getting through everything together, both the good times and the bad times.

[pieflavorpie]

My unpopular opinion is that i dont enjoy bards Lament. At all. It is objectively good, well performed with appropriate buildup. However, I am a child with an absentee father, and i have had similar thoughts to him before, and i used to have a friend that went down his path. I have seen and experienced every point of view. And what that was isnt justice. Its not calling people out, or making them realise how they have hurt him.

Its a very broken, depressed man who finally snaps and burns down the bridges with his friends. No, VM never asked for Scanlan's mum's name because that's not something they do. If you can list me 5 times where the team ask questions about peoples backstory [before Bards Lament] BEFORE it became relevant, then you have successfully proved me wrong. Anything revealed is either probed out of them as part of recon, or willfully offered as a piece of friendship.

[E.g: Keyleth talking about her aramente, Pike's history with Grog vs Percy's backstory being revealed after they get invited to dinner with the Briarwoods and Grog talking about his pack when its revealed his uncle has the vestige.]

And he never offered any of this information. There have been several times where VM have shown concern and actively asked how hes doing just for him to lie and shrug them off. They prank him while he was asleep because they think hes a fairly centred person who will enjoy an attempt to bring things back to normal and they were drunk.

And yes, they are mean to him sometimes, because they are a group of assholes. They never disguise themselves as anything else. Vax and Percy's friendship post-briarwoods for a good while is based in distrust and self loathing, respectively. Everyone has moments where they say mean shit to Grog [except Pike] because he cant understand it.

And the "without his songs hes just a guy" comment or however it was phrased was a tactical comment. Because he would be. He doesn't have any sort of weapon beyond Mythcarver which he refuses to use, and he doesn't have anything else he can use to support or fight. The same applies to Keyleth without her nature magic, it applies to Percy without his guns, it applies to Grog when people are out of range.

And no, I don't blame him for snapping when he woke up. I doubt taking a -4 to any rolls made would translate to a Happy Peachy character in-story. And all of his internalised misery finally coalesces in his tiredness. But what happens isn't good. It isn't progress. It is showing everyone a wound that has been tearing open over months, and then promptly storming out.

And his whole "I didn't want my daughter to see me like this." Isn't some Grand Show of how much he cares, it shows him as fucking selfish. My dad being weak is what drove him away, his insecurity stopping him from getting help from my family. That line of thinking is what makes him a sad, lonely man rotting in a flat after abandoning many families like my own.

That man in real life was strong, a brilliant teacher of martial arts. A true marvel to see and train with. He had a certain charisma to him, but he had his shortcomings. And when his partner got too close to them, he'd hold them tight to his chest and scurry away, only coming back for the drunk sex and eventually leaving entirely. Having enough distrust in his heart to claim any unwanted children to be illegitimate.

Now, Scanlan is nowhere near as bad as him, but there are similarities. And enough that I feel my word has weight when I say, if I were Kaylie, I would not want to travel with him. If he truly wanted to be closer to her and do good for her, he'd get better first. And to get better, you need people. Plural. You cannot depend on one person. And that person can absolutely not be your own fucking child. I'm not saying he should've stayed with vox machina, but he should've stayed with a group. A group of adults that could support him. And honestly I feel like so far from my watching of CR, his epilogue with kaylie is the most unrealistic character development possible. I know she's supposed to be rough and hardy, but I refuse to believe that girl would not be breaking under her father's bleeding desperation for validation. And I definitely refuse to believe that she could actually help him to the point he'd gladly leave her on another continent while he talked to the people he'd snapped at.

Anyway, fuck dickhead dads who don't get actual help. Especially fuck them when they start depending on their children for them to be a good person.

For those who do not know. Scanlan's departure from the party in the stream wasn't as... friendly. It was kind of an ugly break-up. It came from Sam wanting to do some unexpected twist with Scanlan's character and it led to a very emotional moment. That he did not feel validated, that he did not feel appreciated and that he was considered a joke by the group.

And it came down to one phrase from Scanlan to the group: "What is my mother's name?" and when nobody was able to answer the question. Scanlan left.

However, interesting little tid-bit that might help understand this change. which comes from one of the Q&A. which is no longer up because... uhm... a whole other Drama I am not here to explain.

And what Sam said in that Q&A is that there WAS one way in which Scanlan would have stayed.

And it was Pike. who wasn't there at the time (technically was as an NPC, but since Ashley wasn't there, it's the same thing), but which Sam said was the only person who could change his decision.

And what has Pike done the entire season? BE that person who supported Scanlan in his darkest moment, and who deflated the situation probably without meaning to. And so he is able to leave the party in much better terms.

A shame because the emotional rollercoaster that it involved will be missed, but hey, it's cool to see what Sam meant by saying Pike was the one person who could stop Scanlan walking out of the party like he did

[achilles-rage]

okay but imagine being buck's neighbour, and showing up to his apartment one night because you're sad :(

he'd be so eager to comfort you <33

“he broke up with me.” you mumble as soon as buck opens the door, pushing past him and padding into his apartment.

he sees your tear stained cheeks immediately and freezes, and it’s your quiet sniffle that finally breaks him out of his haze. he closes the door and turns on his heel, following you into his space and putting a hand on the small of your back to guide you to the couch.

“what happened?” he asks you in a gentle voice. you turn and look at him again before you sit on the couch, a frown on your pretty lips, and his heart shatters.

“he was cheating on me.” is all you say. you look down, almost embarrassed to admit it, and he has to fight back a scoff. how could your idiot boyfriend possibly find someone better than you? it completely baffles him, but he pushes it to the side; you obviously need to be comforted right now.

he pulls you into a hug, wrapping his arms around your shoulders and pushing you flush against him. you let out a shaky breath as he does, reacting immediately by wrapping your arms around his torso. he rubs your back soothingly as you cry softly into his chest, and his heart clenches. he wishes so badly that he could take your pain away, or better yet, that he could teach your ex boyfriend a lesson. but, you’re more important right now.

“you need anything?” he whispers against your ear, resting his cheek against the top of your head. you sniffle before you speak up, lifting your chin to look up at him.

“do you have any tea?” you whisper in a groggy voice. he smiles softly, and nods, and then releases you from his arms begrudgingly.

“you go sit. i’ll make some for you.” you nod, then sit on the couch, bringing your feet up onto the couch and crossing your legs.

as he makes your tea, he tries not to think about how badly he wants to kiss you. how badly he wants to help you forget about your ex. but, he knows he can’t, not yet. he’ll have to wait a little while, as not to take advantage of your fragile state.

after a couple of minutes he returns with two mugs, handing one to you and placing the other on the coffee table. you thank him softly, then take a small sip before you move to set yours beside his. he sits beside you, resting his arm behind you on the back of the couch.

“come here.” he urges you softly, and you oblige immediately, leaning against him rather than the arm of the couch. all you want right now is physical contact, and you relax into his embrace. he smiles to himself as you rest against him, fighting the urge to pull you right onto his lap and kiss your tears away.

he knew he had to have you the first time he saw you. you had just moved into the apartment beside his, and you came to his door with a sheepish smile on your face, apologizing profusely about any disturbance your dad and brother may have caused while arguing as they were helping you move in.

you were a soft, sweet thing, and so so pretty. and he was hooked.

after that, he did everything to keep running into you, and eventually became your friend. the only problem was your stupid boyfriend, who he quite frankly, didn’t think deserved you.

“do you want to talk about it?” he asks after a few moments of silence. he feels you shake your head against his shoulder, and he hums softly in response. you just need some company right now, and he’s more than happy to stay right here.

“can we just, stay here for a while.” you whisper. he nods, mumbling a quick “of course” as he rubs his thumb over your shoulder, pulling you even closer to him. he grabs the tv remote beside him and turns on the tv, putting on a random show to help keep your mind off of your idiot ex.

before long, your eyes flutter shut, your steady breathing signalling to him that you’ve fallen asleep. he stays in the same position for a while, then lowers the volume of the tv to almost zero, and slowly and gently maneuvers himself off the couch. he lowers you to lay on the couch, making sure your head is on a pillow, then covers you with a blanket. the last thing he wants is for you to wake up cold or uncomfortable.

he watches your sleeping form for a minute before he finally turns and makes his way up to his bedroom. one day, you’ll be sleeping in his bed with him. he's sure of it. but today, he’s perfectly happy that you’re sleeping on his couch. in his apartment. because that means that you ran to him while you were in pain. that you came to him to make you feel better. and that makes his heart swell with hope.

you’re going to be his one day. he just knows it.

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[fcaruana]

Hiii just wondering if you could please translate this interview Maria gave about Franco? https://youtu.be/AqMKHpuQHLw?si=l9pbKdUVwM52dMuY

Sure, here it is! I skipped a few less interesting parts. For those who don't know, María is one of his 2 managers.

About the 2025 rumors: "All those rumors circulating about Franco signing for a seat are 100% not true. There isn't anything signed. I don't know if you've seen Jamie's [Franco's second manager] tweet saying 'Thanks for the info [about Franco confirmed at Red Bull] how strange, you found out before I did!'. For now Franco is a Williams driver, we have 3 races left with them and at the moment we're in Williams. James himself said he's negotiating with other teams, it's a discussion between teams that I can't say much because I don't know. There is a wish for Franco to stay in F1 in 2025, from so many people: his fans, us, the F1 itself would love for him to continue, Williams themselves are pushing to make it possible. If that wish becomes a reality we'll announce it when it happens for sure. For now, there is not any signed contract."

"I admire Franco so much. The way he's been dealing with the pressure and exigency of F1 is admirable. I was sure it was going to be like this, but he's still 21 years old, working with the mindset of a much older person. The physical and emotional effort he's putting in is impressive."

About how they take much more care of Franco now: "In F1, the only difference is that the exposure is many times higher. Now Jamie and I pay much more attention to the way this is affecting him, how he deals with this exposure and everything that's been happening to him. In that sense, the good and bad things have intensified a lot. So we are keeping an eye on him almost every second, both on and off the track."

About Franco meeting fans and signing their stuff even after Sunday's race: "That's just his nature. We spent the entire weekend hearing crazy stories of people who traveled to Brazil from Argentina by motorbike, people who didn't even have a ticket for the race, people getting wet in the rain. And he was incredibly moved, he felt that very intensively, saying 'what a wonderful thing is happening to me, look at all those people!'. From the paddock we all could constantly hear their chants, songs and screams, and everyone else was like 'what is going on?! what is this?!'. That is super positive for Franco, he couldn't stop coming out, he just wanted to go out and greet them. Obviously by the look of his face, his mood, he wasn't very excited at that moment, but he didn't want to stop giving back just a little bit of their constant support. He's still the same person [as before F1]. After the race he went out with that [sad] face, because he thought 'all those poor people, coming all the way to Brazil and look at what happened'. He felt like he had to do it for them, saying it's for all these people that he has to do well."

"We would've loved to be at the banderazo. Picture this: before leaving we even had to buy an extra suitcase just for all the gifts Franco received this weekend. It's been incredible."

About the impact of Franco's fans on F1: "I don't know if you've seen it, but now the Instagram account of F1 has been posting in Spanish (targeted to hispanic countries). I don't remember the F1 ever making such an amount of posts in Spanish before. This means that the F1 is embracing with gratefulness this community, these new argentinian fans and everyone Franco's bringing in."

About Brazil GP: "It was tough, it started tough and it ended tough. Considering it was an unknown track for him, his first time there, the tricky rain conditions we had, if I go back to all the sessions I think Franco was quite fast, even though he couldn't try the inters until the race because of his crash in quali. So I'm happy with the work he's done, considering he's a rookie, it was his 6th race, the wet unknown track, he did a good job. At the end there was too much water, in the straight there were two big rivers. Unfortunately he aquaplaned in one of them and lost the car, there was nothing else he could do. It can happen to you, like it happened to him and many others, or it can't. So it happened, the conditions weren't good and there isn't anything to throw in his face by my part."

About his relationship with his race engineer and their radio in Brazil: "It's always like this, maybe Franco has an opinion and Gaëtan has another, sometimes they agree but the most important part is that they win and lose together. Franco and Gaëtan will win and lose together, in the good and bad times. We'll never know what would've happened if they had listened to Franco [about him repeatedly asking for wet tyres before his crash]. The point is that him and Franco have a great connection, he trusts a lot in his criteria and this hasn't changed at all. They're always together in the simulator, now going for Vegas and thinking about the future."

About Franco feeling bad for the mechanics after his crash: "He wanted to be there helping in any way he could. I don't know what other drivers do but Franco is very affectionate with all the members of his team and greets them every morning, says goodbye to everyone every night, he has a special connection with them. His biggest worry was the effort they had to put to fix his car so he was constantly coming in and out of the garage, asking if he could help with anything, supporting them and thanking them."

About his relationship with Alex and the overall climate in Williams: "The best thing is that it's like a small family. It's our first F1 team so we can't really compare, but it feels good to work there, it doesn't feel like you're in F1 and feels like we're still in MP [F2]. Everyone is lovely and it's a pretty family-like climate."

[willsimpforanyone]

Hi! Could you do a Leo valdez smut where Leo is a sub and is a moaning mess? Idk what I'm saying lol

i have returned from my hibernation with adhd meds that are working, something of a schedule and the desperate need to make people a little bit happy in the wake of a fried turnip becoming president for the second time

--------------------------

leo as a sub is a very interesting concept to me

because i Cannot see him as anything other than a subby switch so i have many many thoughts about this

i am begging you to pull his hair. please. do it for me.

he will moan so prettily it might drive you crazy

he has a permanent blush on his cheeks, pink visible through his brown skin

not gonna lie there is a real possibility he will set himself on fire if he gets too worked up

his hands tremble if he's touching you (if he's allowed), like he can't quite believe he's actually doing it

his fingers ghost over your skin at first, cautious but wanting so much more

as soon as you tell him to either do it properly or you'll make him stop touching you, he's grasping and grabbing at you like he can't bear to be even an inch away from you

i truly believe it takes almost nothing for leo to get worked up

he can flirt as much as he wants but as soon as you give the same energy back?? mans done for, stumbling over his own feet, following you around like a lost puppy

and oh. my. gods. is it easy to get him whimpering underneath you

his lips are swollen from where he's been biting them, eyes either wide open to look up and admire you or shut tight against the force of the pleasure

he can't stay still, even with you on top of him, hands constantly roaming around your body, hips twitching and rolling involuntarily

i am a firm lover of vocal subs so maybe i'm projecting BUT

just imagine him begging and pleading, voice breathy and wanting and sounding so much like a prayer it's a wonder he hasn't been struck down for blasphemy

"please, please don't stop, f-fuck, feels so good, how are you so good, l-love you so much, don't stop, lemme t-touch you, need it, need to touch you, oh-"

-----------------------------

i hope u enjoyed, i am sad but distracting myself with working through my inbox

[ikamigami]

Nxbxbbcbcbcbnxbxbxn

Today's episode heavy breathing was just everything

Moon shouldn't wait till Sun run away to go to him..

But I think that he just needed some time to think what to say..

Cause I knew it! He said to Solar that he said what was needed to be said.. which definitely implies that Moon was afraid that he'll say something insensitive or start yelling at Sun bxbxbxbbxbx

He didn't want that..

And yeeeessss Moon finally realized that no one expects him to fix everything QwQ

And that Sun doesn't need him.. and even if Moon might have said that because he hates himself..

I think that in this situation he meant that Sun isn't going to die without Moon because he's so dumb etc..

I think that Moon finally distanced himself from.. himself.. (edit: cause actually yeah after thinking about it more it really was more about how Moon hates himself and that Nexus was better and that Sun shouldn't choose him but Nexus that's why he said that Sun doesn't need him nxnxnnxnxnxn I was happy too quickly QwQ)

Hdndnndndnndndndn

Which allowed him to see Sun for who he is.. for how awesome brother Sun is.. and to why Sun loves Nexus and that's why he said that he would still be Sun's brother even if Sun loved Nexus more than him and even if Sun chose Nexus to live because he regretted killing Nexus bxbxbxbbxbxb QwQ

I'm so happy that despite Moon being afraid to be left by Sun he put Sun's feelings first.. he was considerate about Sun's feelings QwQ bxbxnxnnxnxnxn

Moon really is trying his best.. it makes me so emotional QwQ 💞

Also Lunar whyyyyy jxnxnxnxnnx

Yes Sun shouldn't be held captive but Lunar should still know where Sun is or if he's away for a long time he should call him or something..

Like Sun shouldn't go out or be left alone for too long.. not in this state..

I hope that Solar and Moon will have a talk and Moon will apologize for getting to upset at Solar especially cause Solar told him such a nice thing and he was right that Sun needed to talk to Moon QwQ

And now onto Sun..

Hooo boi..

Sun can't hate Nexus which is not surprising to me at all..

And ofc Sun said that maybe he doesn't need Moon but he wants him in his life.. which I always knew..

And I think that this is exactly what Dark Sun was unable to understand.. or maybe he understood this while talking with Moon?

But at the same time I'm still angry that he traumatised Sun so much with forcing him to choose to kill his brother and that I think that he knew that Ruin put that bomb in Nexus' chest which is why Sun's magic killed Nexus bxbxbbxbddn

But the most important part I wanted to point out from today's episode is that Sun didn't agreed nor accept Moon's words of support nxnxnnxnxnxnxnxn

Which means that Sun doesn't agree with Moon that he's a good brother QwQ

He also still doesn't want to shout out what weigh on him..

And he didn't thank Moon bxbxbbx

Cause I think that Nexus' words truly felt like proof to Sun.. proof that he's a terrible person actually..

This is so awfully relatable..

Cause at first I thought that maybe it'll be the time for Sun to open up but noooo

And it's so relatable QwQ

Sun wanted to have Moon as a brother.. he wanted to have Nexus as a brother.. he wanted to have a family..

Damn it QwQ

And I only say that Nexus is damn liar xnnxnxnnxnxn (cause I watched the podcast)

I think that he blames everything on Sun cause it's easier to hate a person he loved the most..

Like no one knows that Nexus had that vivid dream - except Monty bxbxbxbbxbx

No one knows that Nexus was afraid of Sun dying..

Nexus was so worried but his worries were constantly ignored..

This is what is the most sad thing to me.. that Nexus never talked to Sun about anything..

They both loved each other so much and yet..

And also ha ha I don't believe that Nexus wanted to kill Sun the most..

Such bs when he never even hurt Sun at all - physically I mean..

I'll die on the hill that Nexus actually cared deeply about Sun but he was just confused..

It's not Sun's fault.. again..

And also people completely forgot that Moon's computer constantly was comparing Nexus to Moon - saying that Nexus is dumb compared to Moon and it tried to and downloaded all the knowledge into Nexus' head..

But no "it was all Sun bla bla bla"

Nexus never wanted to talk to Sun about anything.. he only yelled so Sun stopped mentioning Moon..

Maybe if Nexus talked with Sun like a normal person.. then maybe he'd learn that Sun still loved Moon despite all the abuse.. and then if he allowed Sun to talk about the past and grieve and move on and also talk about his own insecurities etc then Sun would definitely apologized and he'd give Nexus space to be his own person..

But also he actually gave him that space.. he saw how much Solar was making Nexus happy so he didn't bother them.. but also Nexus is such a liar cause he obviously enjoyed playing games with Sun.. they had so much fun.. he wasn't threatening Sun like Moon used to do.. and also Sun never wanted Nexus to fix everything.. and definitely not on his own..

And I think that Nexus knows that..

But I think that the fear of Sun dying was too much so it broke Nexus..

And it was easier for him to hate Sun then even admit that..

Nexus knows that he wasn't the best to Sun like he claims himself to be.. but he can't admit his wrongs..

Just like Moon used to do..

Solar was right that Nexus isn't that much different from Moon but he doesn't want to admit it..

And yet Nexus claimed to be the Moon cause he called Moon a knockoff..

I think that Nexus loved Sun deeply but he also couldn't admit to being wrong..

His ego is what destroyed him actually..

That's why he acted like Creator.. cause I was thinking for quite some time that the more egotistic Nexus was the more he acted like Creator.. cause Creator made them.. so he became like Creator who is a pure ego..

And also Nexus saying that Sun would probably purposely hurt him.. yeah sure Jan keep lying to yourself..

Like they say whatever makes you sleep better, right Nexie ^^

Poor Sun loves Nexus so much yet he has to suffer now because Nexus pretended till the end that he never cared and hates Sun 🥺😭💔

[lilvanillamb]

Thinking about after life.

Attention: this blog talks about funeral and death in general, pls skip if this trigger you somehow.

It's crazy how this year I went to 3 funerals, 2 of them in the same week and from all of them, the closest person was my neighbor. This makes me think about death a lot and how I see death differently than others. I like it, shows how peaceful death can be.

I don’t suffer, I suffer from people's suffering that is what makes me sad and cry. Death is - in fact - inevitable and another part of life, just like birth or birthdays, It can be beautiful.

The pain of the grieving process is because you miss someone, but I see us and nature as one so when someone dies, in my mind, they don’t just vanish; they become what the people liked the most. Like me, for example: when I die, every time you see a cat, I'm part of that cat, every time you listen to BTS, I'm part of that feeling.

Our bodies and skin are what separate the actual essence from the rest, but it is as delicate as everything. The physical returns to the earth and becomes one along with the soul. That's why I told my mama if I die while she’s alive, I don’t want a boring funeral, I want colors, I want BTS in the background, I want a cake, I want a celebration because I see it as a different type of birthday—just another step in life. I want barbecue, I want a pool, I want things that I liked while I was alive because I don’t want to be remembered with pity but with happiness.

I thank my mommy a lot for that type of feeling and point of view, makes me strong to support my loved ones in such a delicate moment.

[connie-holder-of-flashlights]

Theory is classist because my oppressed class (white public school gifted kid) was never taught to read anything other then mid 19th century novels. Personally, as a liberal, I like to take it a step further and sort all political systems into two categories I call "good" and "bad," where good systems are ones that make me feel happy and bad systems are ones that make me feel sad. Obviously, there are a lot of parts to these systems so I just tally the number of times they make me feel good or bad while thinking about them. For example, I learned communism was authoritarian, and since I know that authoritarianism is wrong because its evil and stuff it gets one "bad" tally. Then I learned that like in the soviet union stalin was like a crazy guy and a lot of people didnt like him? Then basically once I reach 2 or 3 tallies thats all the information I need to know about it, and now I know with certainty communism is bad. Then its really cool because you can pull entire political systems out of the good or bad bucket and theyre all pretty much the same! Anyways, I really recommend this method of analysis for anyone whose done just a little too much adulting today and needs to take a hecking break! Its really hard to know what evem taxes are lol, let alone "analysis of historical and material conditions" or whatever the heck THAT is, no thanks lol

are you people just addicted to not learning theory?

What's with the obsession of using whatever political terms you can, regardless of meaning, as rhetorical ways of just emphasising how Bad something is? Fascism does refer to a specific organisation of capitalism in specific conditions with specific characteristics, not just 'when something is bad and oppressive' - something liberalism is very capable of! - and using the terms this way absolutely annihilates the actually useful analytical and theoretical value of the term, in favour of a view of politics as entirely rhetoric (which is clear from the emphasis on whether the term existed at the time or not, rather than the actual material structure being critiqued, as if the term is just an especially effective rhetorical weapon)

[rapunzellovesbooks]

The way I just want to hug Luke Newton and apologize on behalf of the entire Polin fandom for the shit he had to go through over a f*** picture taken without his consent. Like, I get it was the crazies, but still. Being part of the Taylor Swift fandom and seeing how she disappeared for a damn year over a leaked video taken without her consent and taken out of context villainising her... I know it must have hurt. And we can say it was months ago and that he knows who his true fans are, but still, that stuff would affect anyone, specially someone as sensitive as he is. I usually mind my own business and do not ship real people, heck, I usually do not even go online and "protect" celebrities. I tend to just focus on the happy and celebrate the characters they play but something about that June 13th and the look on his face... it haunts me to this day. And I just feel very very bad for him still.

I am deeply aware of the fact that I know nothing about his life, not really. I only know about his feelings for Polin and Nicola, because he has spoken about them. I have access to the same amount of information as the rest of the world, the pictures and videos of their WT and behind the scenes, the interviews he has done. I do not know anyone in his life and I should not have to. Neither do I know Nicola. And hey, maybe it never happens. Maybe they are happy with someone else (I doubt it, but this is just a feeling I have) and their relationship remains unique and the millions of questions we have never get answered. My point is, I got into this fandom because seeing their bond brought me joy. I don´t think them having other people in their lives diminishes that, which is why the hate he got over one picture never sat right with me. I do not get how it affects someone´s viewing experience of a show. I do not understand why we are so focused on labelling people´s relationships, as if it is as easy as saying a pencil is pink or green. It makes me happy seeing their videos and waiting for crumbs. I have fun hoping that what I truly see as more than platonic feelings will come to fruition.

I write this because the world is in shambles right now. And the last thing anyone needs is to add more negativity to it. So, I hope that we can, in the Lukola fandom, be kind and focus on the good. I do not give a shit about paparazzi photos or whatever the "adjacents" or however you want to call them do. In fact, I have not once looked at A´s or JD´s SM, nor do I want to. They are human beings, but not the human beings I care about. Even if they are involved in Luke and Nic´s lives, I will never send them hate or bad mouth them. I have no idea what they are to them. All I know is what L and N have said about each other. And it has always been good. So, that is where I will be.

And, yes, I truly believe they will be together. And I will be happy with anything that suggests it so, cause this is supposed to be fun and joyful. I, unlike other people, do not label people as gf or bf UNLESS it comes directly from the people involved. And if anyone ever confirms or launches anything, I will still be here. Cause that is what shipping is. Not hate, not negativity, not putting other people down, not invading someone´s privacy, not thinking that a moment in time is forever (people break up all the time, there is no way to know if someone is still with someone if there was never a "launch" or whatever you want to call it).

It would make both Luke and Nicola sad to see that a connection that is supposed to bring people joy is putting people against each other. I know we were so well fed with content over so many months that now we hold onto every detail we have not dissected yet. I get it. I also miss them. But that is the way it is supposed to be. We are not supposed to know everything. We are just supposed to be grateful and happy for when something good related to them happens. That is all and that is my hope for this fandom.

Spread joy and leave the rest out of it. Spiralling only makes people dizzy. Let us "get some vision, bro" like Luke said.

Thank you for reading and, remember, be kind to one another.

[satinekryzeweek]

It's super exciting to see a character focus week that isn't ship centric or doesn't feel unwelcoming to smaller, usually queen ships, or alternative headcanons that don't fit Canon or main stream fanon.

(If you know you know)

Satine has grown on me entirely because of friends though I'm still learning all the related lore.

The Mandalorian women like Satine, Ursa, Bo, the Armorer and Sabine are some of favorite characters so I'd love to see more about her. (Are there any Satine or even Bo books? Comics? Anything?!)

I wish everyone luck and hope to see more Satine content in Jan!

Hi Revan,

We're happy to see Satine love growing!

The good and bad news regarding Satine Kryze: there isn't much canon content for her out there. It's sad because we would all love to know more about her character, but at the same time, minimal backstory means there is a lot of room for everyone to develop their own complex fanon lore.

To help everyone prepare for Satine Kryze Week, we've put together a collection of official Star Wars content and fan made resources that feature her! The list is quite long, so we've put it under the cut to spare everyone's dash.

OFFICAL PUBLICATIONS (CANON & LEGENDS)

1. The Comprehensive Guide to the Star Wars Galaxy (2024) Contains data entries for almost every character featured in Star Wars. This book will be released on November 19.

2. Star Wars: Timelines (2023) Briefly discusses the Mandalorian Civil Wars, the events of Master & Apprentice, and the Siege of Mandalore.

3. The Clone Wars: Character Encyclopedia (2021) Features multiple pages of Satine and Bo-Katan Kryze.

4. Star Wars: Battles that Changed the Galaxy (2021) Details multiple battles and wars involving the Mandalore system, including those that occurred during Satine's life.

5. The Clone Wars: Stories of Light and Dark (2020) Two short stories briefly mention Satine Kryze. Dark Vengeance: The True Story of Darth Maul and His Revenge Against the Jedi Known as Obi-Wan Kenobi and Kenobi's Shadow.

6. Master & Apprentice (2019) A novel that covers Obi-Wan's time as a padawan under Qui-Gon Jinn, with mentions to their shared time on Mandalore with Satine.

7. Rise of the Separatists (2019) Era sourcebook for Fantasy Flight Games' Star Wars roleplaying game system, covering the first half of the Clone Wars.

8. Collapse of the Republic (2019) Era sourcebook for Fantasy Flight Games' Star Wars roleplaying game system, covering the second half of the Clone Wars.

9. Star Wars: Women of the Galaxy (2018) Art of Satine on her throne is included, and a new version comes out April 2025.

10. Star Wars Propaganda: A History of Persuasive Art in the Galaxy (2016) Includes art related to the Neutral Systems and Mandalore.

11. Star Wars: Galactic Atlas (2016) Multiple pages dedicated to Mandalore's history.

12. Darth Maul - Son of Dathomir 3 (2014) Comic that covers Maul's time on Mandalore, brief references to Satine.

13. The Bounty Hunter Code (2013) Contains the Death Watch Manifesto at the end, which includes Legends/Expanded Universe Mandalorian lore.

FAN MADE RESOURCES

1. @fox-trot They have done an incredible job archiving the best bits of published Mandalorian lore from across all SW media! We highly recommend her mandalorian tag.

2. @supertaliart They put together an amazing guide on Mandalorian language and culture! If you're a visual learner, it's perfect for you.

3. @ranahan This account has poured hours of love and time into compiling every piece of information they can on Mando'a. Check out their masterlist for a complete breakdown on the language.

Thank you for making it to the end of this list! It's far from complete or comprehensive, but we hope it helps. If anyone else has resources they'd like to share or books they would recommend, feel free to share in the comments below 💙

Can't wait for the event (January 27-31 2025) to celebrate Satine with all of you! For anyone who missed it, check out our Rules and About for more information too 🌸 We'll be sharing older fandom works featuring Satine leading up to to the week using #pre event showcase as well!

[rainismdata]

I'm stressed right now, so— here I am thinking about mpreg!Bruce and how would he deal with the information that he's now pregnant. Because... well— because. And this is all would be very much out of character.

this would be for AquaBat, SuperBat, and LanternBat.

It's in one tumblr post bcs I'm too tired to make separate posts.

Arthur × Bruce

Bruce would be furious, confused, afraid, and sad at the same time. Because, he doesn't have any relationship with Arthur (or maybe not yet, idk). Also, it's only a few years after the first born of Arthur Curry's child. He knows Arthur and Mera has separated and still become good friends with each other. He knows he's older than he was the first time he met Arthur and if anything, this pregnancy then would be having more obstacles than if he's younger.

Arthur would find him in the training ground, tiring himself out of confusion as to what should he do about the information. He was just found out that he's pregnant after he was fainted on patrol, and Alfred was checking up on him.

Arthur would catch him into his embrace to stop Bruce bruising himself any further. To watch the realization hits Bruce's eyes. Bruce then get a hold of Arthur, leaning closer.

I'll make Atlanna and Mera (hell, also Orm, later when the babies has been growing up) to be happy and congratulating them. Helping Bruce in the process. Helping Bruce to live in Amnesty Bay, so Arthur, Atlanna, and Mera can keep an eye on him.

Clark × Bruce

Idk but I think they would be very much in fluffy domestic thing. Like I know He would be very much freightened still, but he's more calm. He waits for the right time to tell Clark about it.

Until then he told Clark about it, and Clark was a smiling mess even more. Clark knew about it, because he heard more clear heartbeat, a new one, coming from Bruce, but it's not Bruce's. And Clark also wait the time for Bruce to tell him.

Bruce would probably protest as to why Clark didn't let him know earlier. But, actuall, Clark has gave him signs. For one thing, he realized as to why Clark's becoming to be more protective, alarmed, and attentive to Bruce; Clark tried so hard not to make Bruce's stressing out of the League by making one himself.

Fluff. Domestic. Cute. Everything. I'm adding it right away.

Hal × Bruce

It was actually close as what he feels on what I was writing in Arthur×Bruce, but without the fighting. It's just him becoming more quiet. He didn't tell anyone about it. Just Alfred who knows about it. At times, he would excuse him self to go out from the JL's meeting room. Hal would recognize the unusual eye blinks as if Bruce is more tired than usual. He's continuously telling Bruce to drink more water as his lips sometimes was dry.

After two weeks of Earth time out for galactical mission, Hal's back to the Mansion when he found out that Bruce wasn't at the batcave. Alfred told him that Bruce was in his room all day. He didn't know if he's already eat or not. He asked Hal to tell him know if Bruce has ate the foods Alfred brought to his room.

Fast forwards, Hal sits on the bedside, Bruce's side and heard faint sniffle. They talk a little, to the point of Bruce telling Hal the truth. Hal asked "How are you feeling?" when he's given the time to finally speak after Bruce's story and sorry(s). Bruce got his head down and closed his eyes while answering the question.

Hal put his hand on Bruce's cheek to feel the tears coming down to his hand. He get Bruce's head up towards him. "Show me." Hal said, then Bruce opened his eyes, Hal sees the watery hazel eyes of Bruce. Hal could see what Bruce is feeling.

[suika-suigetsu]

Quick question what are your fav Yaoi and Yuri Ships in The Narutoverse? Just curious lol

Sorry to answer your quick question with a long text, but I'm just like this... 🥹

So, since I was a kid, I never watched Naruto thinking about couples, I was never a "stan", as they say. I just loved the story and the characters.

It was only very recently, when I started to like the character Suigetsu and researched everything about him, that I saw how perfect I think his relationship with Karin is.

I say this because, as much as I like the cannon couples and defend the story of some of them, I do it more because I respect Kishimoto's decision of the ending and because I think it's cute, but I didn't research it in depth to ship it faithfully like I do with SuiKa. But I like to respect what is cannon, even if some have destroyed other ships that I liked more (but I'll never say... 😭)

I ship when I think that, based on the character's story and the context, they make a good couple.

So, here are some same-sex couples I ship (using information that I think makes them perfect for each other):

Itachi x Kisame

I never really thought about it because I'm not a fan of Itachi, but I like Kisame, so I never saw them together romantically. But I've been thinking and researching about it for a few months now, and after seeing some cute art of them, I'm even more convinced.

I think Kisame fell in love first, and like Sasuke, I don't think Itachi was emotionally mature enough to reciprocate, but as an artist, I plan on pretending that they had a lot of loving moments together and I'll draw them as soon as I have time (I already have some sketches). 🩷

Gaara x Rock Lee

I don't like shipping characters that I feel have a more "innocent" aura. Rock Lee, Jugo, Mitsuki... I see them as babies. But I like to hear everyone's opinion and, sometimes, they convince me.

I like GaaLee nowadays, even though I don't have much information for it, but I just like the idea that the two of them are single parents who share a mutual love for each other and their children, and I also think that Rock Lee's energy would make Gaara's life happy, since he has such a sad past...

Izumo x Kotetsu

I don't need to say anything, right? They've been cannon since the first chapters they appeared, that's just a fact. They're stuck together like nails and flesh, nowadays they must be living together and traveling the world on a never-ending honeymoon. 💖💖💖

A little steal on the list: Sakura x Karin

This one doesn't make any sense, I only shipped them when I was younger, I didn't care about Suigetsu and I hated Sasuke. I just wanted them to use their love for Sasuke to get closer and form a couple, and they were my favorite female characters 🥹🥹 Obviously I don't think that way anymore nowadays, but I'll still draw them together a lot just because I really like it lol.

Another little steal: SuiKarin

Haha, I know it doesn't fit here, but I just think they love each other too much and have enough experience to have tried a lot of things together. After Naruto invented the Sexy jutsu, anything is possible, right? I still want to draw SuiKarin yaoi and SuiKarin yuri... I'm looking forward to it 🫣🫣

Now, other couples that I find cute when I see them, but I don't have enough information to ship them:

Kakuzu x Hidan (I think Hidan would be easy with Kakuzu, but Kakuzu seems too shallow to be with anyone...? Although Hidan seems to be very convincing when he wants to be...), Sasori x Deidara (I'm not just talking about sexuality here, but also about feelings. If Sasori still loves his parents, he can love someone romantically, and I think it's cute to think of him with Deidara. But that said, I didn't feel any chemistry between them in the scenes where they appear together. I'm rewatching Naruto now, maybe my opinion will change, and I hope it does, because I think the art of them together is really cute...), Jiraya x Orochimaru and Tsunade (This is another steal from the list, I shipped them when I was younger, haha. I just think they're a trio that only works if the three of them are together, and if it's just two of them, it doesn't work, you know? It's a hc I've had for a long time. Unfortunately, it didn't come to fruition... In fact, I have another ship with 3 people that I think would close the anime with a flourish, but I'll never be able to say which one it is publicly... 🥹)

Just about Kiri and the Swordsmen of the Mist

I think that just like in Akatsuki, they (the Seven) must have had romances between them too. And unlike Konoha, Kirigakure doesn't seem to care so much about marriage, starting a family and things like that... In fact, I don't know if it's cannon (I don't think so), but it really struck me when I saw in the anime that one of the call girls that Jiraya went out with was married to one of the men that Jiraya captured to get information about Pain. I still think to this day "wow, the people of Kiri are so bold..." .

Anyway, thinking about Kisame's story, they even avoided that (love someone). So I think there had a lot of "quick romances", maybe with more than one person at the same time. They weren't very emotional, you know? Life was hard, just killing and missions... So relationships were just a way to de-stress. That's one of the things that made me ship ItaKisame, because I think that even though he thought that way just because he grew up among the cold population of Kiri, Kisame ended up falling in love with Itachi after knowing him more than he knew anyone else.

Spending time with companions ends up breaking the coldness, even of assassins, so I think there must have been couples who loved each other within the Seven, but I just don't have enough information to know who would end up with who. Give me information, Kishi... 😭

I'm sorry for being so annoying about ships 🥹 But I really like having evidence that makes me like the couple. There are cannon couples that I don't like at all, even though I drew them...... And there are others that I love, but like with SuiKarin, we'll never have confirmation... But since things are complicated on the internet, I prefer to keep my opinion about them to myself.

Thanks for reading. 🩷

[miss0atae]

Random Thoughts about Let Free the Curse of Taekwondo (EP 7 - 8) :

I think the hardest part when you review a series is when you have to write something about the end. I usually avoid writing about the end of a series because I never really know where to start and how to finish it. I guess, it's also because it is usually hard for me to let go of a universe and characters I discovered and liked. I don't like saying goodbye. This series has been a very eventful ride. Do Hoe and Ju Yeong didn't have an easy life and they tried very hard to make it, but things weren't going as smoothly as it should be. I have to admit, after episode 5 and 6, I thought they would never make it. It seems so complicated for them to have a happy ending and I'm surprised, but happy by how they made it anyway. I said it before, but I really had difficulties to follow the story on the last two previous episodes. This feeling stayed during episode 7, but episode 8 was better and easier to follow. I guess, it's because we finally knew everything of what happened in the past and how it led the characters where they were in the present. It's a story about how violence and abuse can be so damaging on your life and impact a lot of your actions. It was a very sad story for the most part. It was deeply emotional for me and I felt very down after watching the episodes because I felt so much for the characters and I wished I could find a way for them to be happy. I was afraid the story would end badly, but I'm deeply grateful the story offered us a happy ending.

Like most viewers had guessed, Do Hoe lied and forged his diploma and when he tried to help his abused student, the mother of the child who went to the same school he was supposed to have graduated from, found out about the truth. Do Hoe had tried for a long time to make people forget about his past and to make them impressed by his success. He was very afraid of being like his father and failing to accomplish something. He was living an illusion because through this illusion he felt like he escaped his past. However, it didn't free him for the chains of the past. I think it wasn't that easy to live in this illusion anyway. How hurtful it must have been to keep failing the college entrance exams. We saw how Do Hoe pride himself about how he was doing his best to study. He wanted to graduate from this “Hasoul University” because it's the top university and graduating from this school would bring him the admiration of others. Do Hoe wanted to be more than the son of a violent father who failed. I don't think he ever really liked lying or pretending he really had this exams. That's why he kept hiding from Ju Yeong. The problem is that Do Hoe was suffering from transgenerational trauma. He was afraid of repeating the same patterns and attitudes of his father. His curse was this trauma he inherited from his father.

I think the story didn't really answer the questions about how to break the cycle of transgenerational trauma (it would have taken more than 8 episodes), but they made a good statement by the end of episode 7: to be able to move on, you need to heal from this first. I guess that's what happened when Do Hoe and Ju Yeong came back to the taekwondo school of Do Hoe's father and break or burn things from over there. It was the step to write down the beginning of their healing journey. From this point, they could start again. They learned to forgive themselves from whatever thoughts they had about being responsible. Do Hoe needed to have his redemption. Yes, people learned about his lies and his probation means he got another chance. It was truly amazing to see him get this new chance of becoming who he really wants to be without the burden of his past. I'm glad Ju Yeong was around him and encouraging him to grasp this new chance to the fullest. Being able to start anew and knowing you are loved can make you do many things. I think that's what Do Hoe feels. It was very cute and charming to see him and Ju Yeong being happy and enjoying this little domestic life together. They both deserve it. I'm just a little sad we didn't get to see them more in this happy place, but the story was not only about their love, but more about how to break the trauma from the previous generation. The love story was just the cherry on top.

In some way, I'm pretty impressed by Ju Yeong's resilience. He also ha a very complicated life and the way he dealt with his own trauma was pretty different from Do Hoe. He wasn't loved that much by his family, he also was abused and beaten by Do Hoe's father and in the end he tried hard finding Do Hoe and being with him. I sometimes feel the story didn't give him enough time to show his own response and healing from this past. I guess, it's because it's so linked to Do Hoe's own trauma that if one of them start to be free from it, the other one would follow too. Ju Yeong's love for Do Hoe is truly something endearing to watch. Around him, Do Hoe is able to be happy and to express himself more. He was always someone quite reserved, but when Do Hoe is with Ju Yeong, he cries, laugh, and stop holding himself. It was always Ju Yeong for Do Hoe. He admitted it himself, if he had been successful, he would have tried to find Ju Yeong. However, before he wasn't happy or successful the way he wanted so he kept avoiding him (at least until his dad's death). It was pointless because Ju Yeong doesn't care about this. He cares about Do Hoe being well and he wants to help him achieve his dreams. That's what matters to Ju Yeong. I really liked this character. Ju Yeong's healing journey started when he met Do Hoe's again. It was his own way of rebound from adversity as a strengthened and more resourceful person. When they were separated, he was just this guy who cried when seeing the snow, but after he was the one who helped Do Hoe stop his “curse”.

I also want to add something about Hyeon Ho. Again, I feel like the story didn't give us enough things about him. We know he used to bully Do Hoe and as the viewers we guess that it's because he rejected, at first, his attraction to him. Then, for 10 years he stayed around Do Hoe and he tried to be more than a friend to him, unsuccessfully. He knew about the truth of the falsification of his certification and he tried to help him. He didn't do well all the time, and it's easy to not like him for his past behavior towards Do Hoe. I think he regretted his actions. I felt bad for him because I feel he truly loved Do Hoe, but he was unable to understand him and to get past the mask he was wearing. Hyeon Ho never got to see parts of Do Hoe, even if he stayed around him for such a long time. It must hurt, especially if you have feelings for someone. I wish we saw him get to have someone to care for him in the end. We just have to hope after this phone call with Do Hoe that he tried to find his own happiness with someone else. He did try caring for Do Hoe. It didn't help him break from his trauma, but he was there nonetheless. It's true that Do Hoe never gave him his tears or his laugh. He was always so reserved around him, even after all these years. I think the last episode really made me see Heyon Ho in a different way. It was interesting.

In this end what did I think about "Let Free the Curse of Taekwondo"? It was a compelling story, sometimes confusing and I wish they had more time to really answer the few questions I had or the scenes I wanted to see. This story was really more about resilience, freeing someone from trauma than it was a love story. It's not a bad thing, but it wasn't exactly what I thought it would be. I think it's a must-watch and I will never watch it again. It's the type of story, I can only watch once. The happy ending is pleasant and I'm glad the main characters got it. I really wanted them to have one. I would not say it will be part of my favorite series I watched this year because it wasn't easy to watch. Korean BL usually have a bittersweet taste for me and it's not really the taste I'm looking for. I liked all the reviews I read about them and it was nice to talk about it with some of you here.

Thanks again for reading my own review. It was a great ride with all of you too.

[fictionalcharactersaremypassion]

Unexpected Encounters

Here you go @zutaralesbian!! I hope it's what you're looking for!

///

“I found a love, for me....” 

Under the dimmed lights, standing nearby the open bar, Fiona Gallagher let out a soft sigh as she took a drink from her beer. On the dance floor, Ian encircled his arms around Mickey to hold him tight, swaying to the song. As if no one else existed, the rest of the world fading away, there they were; it was only them, eyes closed to take in this moment, reveling in the start of a new chapter in their life. 

And it was fucking beautiful. 

For so long, she’d been searching for that kind of love and each time she thought she just might, it was viciously taken from her in some way. Bitter memories of Jimmy-Steve and Sean came to the surface, to which she drowned them out with a large gulp of beer. 

Nothing seemed to be going for her. Not with her love life, not with her life in general. 

Moving out to Florida was supposed to be a fresh start for her. She’d envisioned so much, only for it all to fall short. The felony on her record made it difficult to find a good paying job, let alone her lack of college diploma. She’d found a decent apartment to live in, the first night giving her this sudden feeling of loneliness that hit her. 

Little had changed in her life other than not not taking care of a house full of kids. 

And the thing is, she assumed she’d be happier that way. In some was, she was; it was easier to live, easier to breathe when she didn’t have five kids dependent on her, worryin’ about how she’ll pay the bills or if they’ll have enough food to eat. But in other ways, she didn’t know what to do with herself. It wasn’t like she wanted all of that responsibility again. It was just really fuckin’ complicated. 

Now here she was, back in her childhood home, crashing on the couch until she could find a place for herself. All while her younger siblings had moved on with their lives, coming out more successful than she was capable of being. 

She blew out a breath, eyes shifting to see Vee and Kev at one of the tables, laughing with some other guests. She’d been meanin’ to to tell her that they needed to catch up soon. Fiona missed her best friend a lot in the time that she’d been away. Down in Florida, Fiona had some acquaintances, maybe even a couple people she’d call friends. But nothing ever compared to what she and Vee had. 

Fiona shook off the nostalgia that came over her. There was no use in dwelling on it, especially today. This was about Ian and Mickey, and she’d be damned if she let herself ruin this occasion for her brother and brother-in-law. 

Brother-in-law. It was hard to comprehend that, to think that the very same boy who used to terrorize the Southside was now married into the family. 

Her lips tugged up into a smile as the song came to an end. Ian and Mickey were holding onto each other’s faces as they had been earlier, leaning in for a kiss. 

She was happy for them. There’d been times she was unsure about Mickey, hell, even times she thought he wasn’t good enough for her little brother. But Mickey had proved himself and shown just how much he cared for Ian, going above and beyond what she’d expect from anybody when they dealt with Ian’s bipolar diagnosis together. 

As a new song came on, one of the tables closest to her was empty, so she took a seat, leaning back with her legs crossed. Her eyes flittered around the room, catching sight of her other siblings. In some ways, it was kind of sad to see them so grown up, engrossed in their own issues and having their own lives when she still remembered their bright eyes, chubby cheeks and sweet smiles. 

And where did that leave Fiona? They didn’t need her like they used to. Hell, she couldn’t even find herself needed elsewhere. To some extent, it felt like they all moved on while she was stuck behind, trying to claw her way out and make it in the world. 

Out of her peripheral, a figured moved closer to her but there were lots of people around so she didn’t think too much of it until the person was right there, his hand on the back of one of the chairs. 

“Ay, you mind if I sit here?” Iggy Milkovich asked her, and it was the very last person she expected to see there - at the wedding and asking to sit at the same table as her - so she did a double take. 

Fiona knew very little of Iggy Milkovich. At one point in time, they were in the same grade, dropping out for different reasons. She’d seen him around the Southside here and there but it’s not like they’ve ever really had a conversation. 

It came as a pretty big fucking surprise to Fiona that he was here. She certainly didn’t expect any Milkovich, well maybe besides Mandy, to attend a gay wedding. But here and there were scattered relatives of Mickey’s around the venue; Colin was doing his best to sweet talk a girl on the other side of the dance floor, Joey and Jamie were swiping frosting off the back of the cake with their fingers - and by now Mickey had noticed, reaching into his pocket for a knife that Ian swiftly plucked out of his hand - while Mandy was dancing with Sandy and Debbie. 

What’s more, though, was that Fiona was struck by how roguishly handsome he looked. He was dressed nice with the tie in disarray, hair that was neatly combed and for once, didn’t give off the impression that he was high. 

“Iggy,” she said, surprised. 

“Hey, Fiona,” he was grinning, holding onto his own beer. “Thought I saw you around here earlier.” 

“Yeah,” she pushed back some hair off her shoulder, suddenly remembering what he’d asked. “Have a seat,” she gestured towards the chair. 

He plopped down in it, one arm hanging off the back. “Thought you moved outta here,” he said, taking a swig of his drink. 

“I did,” she nodded, trying not to feel too disappointed when she thought of it, “it just didn’t work out.” 

“So you’re back now?” 

“Yeah,” she said. “I’m crashing at the house for now until I can get my own place.” 

“Ain’t Mick and Red stayin’ there too?” 

“Yeah,” she grimaced at the amount of times, too damn often, when she’d overhear them fucking. 

 Iggy was looking past her, right at Ian and Mickey. “I feel sorry for anyone that's gotta hear them two bastards going at it. Had to listen them fucking for a while when we lived together.” 

“Shit, I’m sorry,” she laughed. She understood his pain. The Gallagher house had thin walls, too fucking thin if she could hear the damn names her brother and Mickey called each other in bed. God, just the thought made her want to shudder. 

Iggy was grinning some more. That could’ve been from the situation or he was just drunk. “Walked in on them once too. Thought Mickey was gonna flip his shit.” 

“Oh, God,” Fiona could just imagine that. She drank some more beer to rid herself of any images that might be conjured up. 

“Wasn’t my fault, though. Mick left the door unlocked,” Iggy shrugged. “Course, he didn’t care. Probably woulda tried to knock my teeth in if Gallagher hadn’t stopped him.” 

“Can’t be any worse than when Lip walked in on them,” Fiona remembered that one. Mickey had been murderous. Lip had been pinned under him with his throat covered by Mickey’s hands. 

Lip hadn’t been pleased with the casual tone in which Ian spoke in when he’d called his husband off of him. 

Iggy snorted. He was watching them again. “Can you believe those fuckers made it here?” 

“No,” she said honestly. She let out a breath. “But I’m happy for them. They deserve it.” 

“Yeah,” Iggy said. “I remember when Gallagher was living with us. Mick was so protective of him.” 

“Same way at our house,” Fiona remembered those days. He would’ve broken somebody’s kneecaps if they uttered a single word against her brother. Even now, now that she’s back and seen their love first hand again, he would do anything for Ian and vice versa. 

Silence came over them both. Fiona repositioned herself, crossing the opposite leg this time.  Strangely, though, she didn’t have this urge to get away like she would have assumed from being near a Milkovich. 

“I’m kind of surprised you’re here,” she admitted. 

He turned to her, blinking. “Why?” 

She raised a brow. “Do you really have to ask?” 

For a couple of seconds, he stared at her with this dumb expression. Then it dawned on him. “Oh, his gay thing. I don’t give a shit where he sticks his dick. Kinda suspected ‘bout him anyway.” 

“Really?” Fiona couldn’t help but ask.

“Yeah. Never used to talk about tits and shit with us and was all secretive about his porn,” Iggy replied. “Figured it out pretty quickly when I saw ‘em kiss.” 

“You saw them kiss?” 

“Yeah, the day Mick got shot in the ass. Don’t think he ever found out I saw ‘em.” 

“And you never told anybody?” Fiona said, blown away. 

“Course not,” Iggy said with a shrug. “I ain’t stupid. Terry woulda killed him. Mick woulda definitely flipped his shit. I just had to pretend I didn't see anything. Course, then the dumbass decides to say something in front of the whole damn bar. Nearly did get himself killed.” 

He sounded fondly exasperated, a feeling she’d felt from time to time for sure, not anything she’d expect from a Milkovich, especially concerning his brother’s sexuality. 

Maybe she was wrong about him, about the family- some of them, anyway. 

Iggy kept Mickey’s secret when he didn’t have to, not to mention willingly lived with them for a while. Plus, his siblings and a couple of his cousins made it here today. Would they really have done it if they were anything like Terry? 

Iggy was oblivious to what she was thinking, just drinking the rest of his beer without a care in the world. 

“So,” she said, to which he looked back at her, “what are you doing these days?” 

Jesus, that was lame as fuck. 

Iggy didn’t seem to think so. “Not much,” he shrugged. “Gotta find me a new job. My PO’s gettin’ pissy about it.” 

“I have to find one too,” Fiona sighed. “I was working in a hotel down in Florida but I can’t see myself doin’ it again. Too many bitchy customers.” 

Iggy snorted. “Fuck that. Would’ve quit the first time that happened.” 

“I considered it some days,” she said truthfully. There was only so much she could take of being screamed at and unfairly blamed for things that weren’t her fault. “But I have to take what I can get. There’s not a ton of places that want to hire felons.” 

She used to feel bitter over it. Used to feel consumed by such anger towards herself for how she’d so carelessly endangered her little brother and ruined her life in a blink of an eye. 

It wasn’t something easy to share either. Unsurprisingly, the one guy she decided to be upfront about it and explain to him, he thought it was better if they went their separate ways.

Iggy didn’t blink an eye. “Ain’t that the truth,” he said, unfazed. “You know, I had to work at a fuckin’ flower shop once cuz my PO couldn’t find me anything else. Should’ve heard this bitch telling me I couldn’t bring any fucking weapons inside. This is the fuckin’ Southside. I’m supposed to walk around without my glock?” 

“You mean the one you’re not supposed to have while on parole?” She smirked. 

“Ay, what my PO don’t know won’t hurt him,” Iggy said dismissively.  

She snorted. “Good point.” 

Flashes of multi-colored shadows fell over their faces, bouncing away the next second. Iggy’s eyes strayed away from where they’d been glancing to look at her, keeping her under a watchful gaze. 

“You want another beer?” He said unexpectedly. 

“Sure,” she said. 

When he brought it back, he said, “Ay, let’s go outside. It’s getting too damn noisy in here.” 

This was where under any other circumstances she would’ve declined, but Fiona found herself not completely put off by the suggestion. “I would,” she said, “but I don’t know where my jacket’s gone...” 

She wasn’t lying. Fiona had taken it off when she arrived and now it was nowhere to be found. 

“I got you,” Iggy said. Fiona wondered how he was going to manage that when he hollered at the top of his lungs - though the music was still loud enough that it drowned him out somewhat. “Ay, fuckwads! Get her-” He pointed straight at Fiona, who muttered out, “Oh, Jesus,” under her breath, “a jacket before I start cracking skulls.” 

“That’s really not necessary- oh,” Fiona was thrown a black suit jacket by someone she didn’t recognize. 

“You’re welcome,” Iggy said, chugging one of the beers in his hands. 

“You couldn't have just given me yours?” Fiona said mildly, a teasing smile on her lips. 

“Fuck no. I’m not freezing my ass off,” Iggy scoffed. He smirked, though. 

Abandoning the reception, they went past the doors and out into the cold. Fiona shivered, folding her arms across her chest. They stayed within the parking lot and there was just something about that reminded her of when she used to sneak off with a couple of friends she had many years ago, just hanging around and feeling carefree before everything went to shit. 

For now, neither one of them said anything. It wasn’t that Fiona was feeling shy or anything, that wasn’t like her, but it was just different that's all. 

So she spoke up first. 

And it just so happened to be her going down memory lane. 

“Do you remember that fucking awful English teacher we had freshman year?” She said suddenly. “Mrs- fuck, what was her name? Mrs. Melvin or whatever. God, I hated her.” 

“Wasn’t she the bitch that quit halfway through class?” Iggy said with a grin. 

Fiona laughed. “Oh my God, I remember that. Nobody was listening to her and she threatened to send us all to the office if we didn’t shut up.”

“Ay, yeah. Had a fuckin’ fit when that one guy, Rubin, shot a spit ball at her,” Iggy said, paused and added, “The fuck kinda name is Rubin anyway? S’fuckin’ stupid.” 

They both laughed, and when it died down, Fiona was marveling over the fact once again that here she was, socializing with a Milkovich and she was having a pretty nice time. 

“Do you-” Fiona thought about what she was asking, deciding to go on with it, “do you ever think about what you would’ve done if you graduated?” 

She had no idea why she chose to bring this up here right now. The question had been on her mind lately, not just this second, wondering just how different her life would be if Frank and Monica were decent parents, if she didn’t have to be the one to step up for her siblings. 

“No.” 

“No?” Fiona repeated, surprised. 

“Nah. Wouldn’t have mattered. Terry woulda screwed it up anyway.”

He was honest about it, resigned, and didn’t sound upset. It made Fiona stop and think, making way for an ache in her chest, about how none of them were ever given a chance to be something, to make something of themselves. They were constantly held back by their shitty parents, shitty situations that they shouldn’t have had to deal with at their age. 

“What about you?” Iggy’s voice brought her back to the present. 

“What?” 

“You ever think about it?” He sounded curious, not just him asking out of polite obligation. Than again, she couldn’t really picture him or any of the Milkovich’s acting out of politeness. 

“Sometimes,” she smiled slightly. Dropping out of school was the hardest decision she had to make for herself, even though it was ultimately what saved them. Though, she couldn’t deny that for weeks after, she’d been plagued with a bone deep sense of sadness. She’d used to dream, used to hope of getting out of the Southside someday with a degree tucked under her belt and a decent job. Those dreams never looked unrealistic until she finally realized the depth of Frank and Monica’s bullshit. 

While other people her age were out partying, rebelling against their parents or figuring out what they wanted to do in life, Fiona was preoccupied in other ways; whether they’d have enough for the bills this month, how they’d get food on the table for all of them, whether Frank or Monica were going to come home when they left for long stretches of time. 

Iggy lit a cigarette, offering it to her. She took it, her smile still intact. 

“You know, I thought I had everything going for me at one time; grades were good, I was doing track. And then it was just gone,” she sighed. “I thought if I got out of here, things would be different. Seems like the bullshit just followed me.” As Fiona was passing back the cigarette, she had an oh shit moment. Was she really spilling her guts to him? “Shit. Forget I said all that.” 

He shrugged. “Where’d you run off to anyway?” 

“Florida.” 

“Ay, at least you got out. S’more than most can say.” 

She supposed that was true. “That’s surprisingly insightful,” she was teasing, only gently. 

He puffed up his chest. “I can be that way if I wanna.” All kidding aside, he knocked into her shoulder with his own. “Ain’t nothin’ wrong with comin’ back.” 

“Even with no job and I’m sleepin’ on the couch?” She deadpanned. 

“Been there,” he said, then considered, “Course, I usually find some chick to shack up with.” She let out a laugh, shaking her head. “I slept out on those streets one night and it ain’t all it’s cracked up to be.” 

“Haven’t been there yet, thank God.” 

“Like all those Gallaghers would toss you out,” Iggy piffed. She had to agree. “Course if they do, left side my bed could use some warmin’.” 

He winked at her. 

Fiona turned her body to face him, plucking the cigarette from him. “Is that right? Who says I wanna be the one to warm it?” 

“Don’t play dumb, Gallagher,” Iggy was closer now, having invaded her personal space. “Saw the way you were looking at me earlier.” 

The cigarette was dropped to the ground, put out by the bottom of her shoe. 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Fiona said slyly. 

Just a second later, her arms around his neck and his on her waist, Fiona was engaged in a fucking hot makeout with Iggy Milkovich. 

It was needy, full of fire she’d been searching for. God, even Iggy’s touch was making her weak. 

“Holy shit,” she muttered. He grinned cockily. 

“You seein’ anyone right now?” 

“And I’m if I’m not?” She said instead of answering his question. 

“How ‘bout you come to my place tonight?”

Fiona grinned. "Better be a damn good bed. My back's been killing me on that shitty couch."

She didn’t come here expecting to find herself in a Milkovich. 

But Fiona was damn glad she did.