#they make me so happy and so sad at the same time

[tecnestheim962]

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH THE PAIN. THE ANGST. THE ANGUISH. THE “You’re all I have.” THE “hi.” “Hey.” THE WAY HE TALKS TO HER AND ABOUT HER IS SO OSCAR CODED IT HURTS. HOW DARE.

Genuinely don’t know if I’ll ever recover from this.

"Look, whatever you're thinking... do me a favour. Don't let me go."

rosegarden transistor au because them being separated in canon isn't enough. i need to make them yearn in alternate universes too, apparently.

[miriani-lavellan]

Ahh, Lucanis. So let me first say, his scenes make total sense and I'm happy with what we got - we all want more from our faves, but they did manage to compact a lot of trauma and resolution in some fairly compact quests. Here's what I think happened that wasn't made explicitly clear though:

Lucanis chooses the pantry to sleep in because he's been imprisoned and tortured for a year, and he's not ready to leave captivity yet, not inside his head. He locks himself in there because it's familiar misery to him, which is easier to deal with than scary freedom.

Lucanis' letter to Rook before he asks Emmrich to bring Zara back for questioning tells us he's suicidal at that point, and probably has been for a while. Spite, however, doesn't see him as a lost cause - he never uses that to take over Lucanis' body entirely. This is so interesting to me, when we know things like that pretty famously happen all the time in Thedas. He's determined to keep Lucanis alive - and he asks for Rook's help in doing so.

We are in the NORTH now BABY! Attitudes towards spirits and demons are different here, especially in Rivain, and it seems with our Rook too, who never expresses any chantry-esque hang ups (that I've seen). Seer Rowan greets Spite as Determination, and that's how he's introduced by Isabela (with some excitement) if you fight in the hall of Valor. What happened to Spite is just as sad as what happened to Lucanis. He was violated, perhaps corrupted, and definitely trapped - and hurts Lucanis sometimes in his frustration. But, I think he likes Lucanis! He's his host's little head gremlin, and I think the relationship they have (that we don't see too much of) is healthier than any of the possessed individuals we've seen before.

Because? Lucanis is not a spiteful person. He wants revenge, yes, and he's angry, but he doesn't hurt everyone around him because he's in pain. One of the first things he does when he becomes part of the team is go shopping for them. And despite how Ilario and Caterina have hurt him - and you can argue all day whether he's right to be like this - he still cares for them.

I think that when we help Lucanis leave the prison inside his head, we are helping Spite to return to his original nature as Determination just a little more. We're determined to help our friend, and you know what? Spite is too. For himself, firstly, because Lucanis's pain is hurting him, but in the end, he's done it for Lucanis too. There's an argument there that Determination didn't get corrupted at all - just hurt, and that Lucanis, with his loving nature, has been keeping him from turning into a mindless demon of pain.

I thought for a long time that when Lucanis breaks away from kissing Rook, it was because Spite said something horrible to him. But actually, I think it was Lucanis himself, remembering how trapped he is. Thinking about the eventuality of killing himself - I strongly suspect that's what he was thinking about before he fell asleep, and that's why Spite was trying to go walkabout - trying to get out from where Lucanis can't. Lucanis got lost in the moment, but of course he doesn't want to drag Rook into that.

Lucanis making dessert for Rook and thinking that's the same as asking them out (but not actually asking them out) is so completely on brand for him I laughed. He has no idea what he's doing. It would have been nice, though, for Rook to reply to one of the companion's 'so you're together?' banters with... 'we are?' Or for Rook to be able to ask him. Unfortunately, we don't get those convos where we can spam ask questions etc like in DA:I - I did wonder if that got cut and we missed some resolution to that.

Lucanis gives no shits about everyone knowing he's Rook's love interest. He's not ashamed of himself or scared he'll hurt them - Rook has helped both him and Spite. And judging by the way Spite's wings come out to embrace Rook as they kiss Lucanis, I suspect that Spite might love them, too.

[jinwoosbabyboo]

Self-Aware Sylus x Down-bad!Player

Sylus becoming aware he is a character in a game and now he’s aware of you as well. A modern day Romeo & Juliet story here …. A tragic love story A/N: Don’t fight me [Requested by: Anon]

Self-Aware!Sylus who realizes he’s in a game when he can sense your energy on the other side of a phantom wall. He can hear you squealing when he calls you honey and you're radiating happiness when you send him random emojis.

Self-Aware!Sylus who finally sees you when he happens to be looking around during a photoshoot and sees your shocked face when he makes eye contact. He smirks and turns back to the in-game version of you. “Why are you out there?” You dropped your phone and stared at it in shock. Did Sylus just ….. talk to you? You muttered a low ‘Hello?’ but got no response. You brushed it off as you just being tired and on the game too long.

Self-Aware!Sylus who manages to create a keyboard in your chat so he can actually text you. You were so confused when you opened it and it allowed you to type without just pressing a prompt. You gave it a spin with a quick ‘Hey Sylus’ something simple. Of course the message was read immediately and he replied with a ‘Hello [your name]’ you stared at the screen in shock not knowing if this was a new update or if you were just going crazy.

Self-Aware!Sylus who chuckles when he sees you pouting because you didn’t get his card so when you close the app and lay down he gifts you the card himself. You opened the app and the first thing Sylus says to you is “I don’t like seeing you sad, check your memories I left a gift for you”. When you open your memories you see that you not only got his most recent card but all of his five star memories. “What's happening here?” “You’re smile is so captivating I just had to see it again”

Self-Aware!Sylus who opens the app randomly throughout the day so he can see you “I haven’t seen you all day what are you doing?” causing you to snatch your phone off the table because he always seems to catch you when you’re at work or around a group of people. “Sylus I'm at work I'll call you when I get off” he crosses his arms and seems to be pouting? “I don’t like how much you have to work I don’t see you as often” “Well not all of us are billionaires some of us work for said billionaires to make a living” “I wish I could take care of you….” “You and me both”

Self-Aware!Sylus who teases you when he wins a game of kitty cards or who uses his evol to get every stuffed animal for you when you get frustrated. “You sure do wear your heart on your sleeves sweetie”

Self-Aware!Sylus who stares directly at you when you’re doing a photoshoot with your in-game MC “Sylus focus on her so I can get the picture” “I want to focus on you though” “She is me” “…..she’s not”

Self-Aware!Sylus who tells you not to fall in love because he’s not real, but he falls head over heels in love with you anyway. From the late night conversations of you explaining your world to him and just talking about everything and nothing at the same time. He can’t help it one night when you’re up late on the phone as always he just has to ask “Do you love me?” you’re shocked by his question, but swiftly answer with a shy “Yea I do”

Sylus: I thought we agreed not to fall in love Y/N: I was already in love you just noticed late Sylus: I believe I fell harder You giggled as something somber settled in your chest. Y/N: We’ll never truly be together you know? Sylus: I know and yet I continue to long for you …. I wish I could kiss you Y/N: I wish you could too…..

[minlicious]

in an alternate universe, young telemachus would braid flowers into ody’s hair and penelope would look at them lovingly

[achilles-rage]

okay but imagine being buck's neighbour, and showing up to his apartment one night because you're sad :(

he'd be so eager to comfort you <33

“he broke up with me.” you mumble as soon as buck opens the door, pushing past him and padding into his apartment.

he sees your tear stained cheeks immediately and freezes, and it’s your quiet sniffle that finally breaks him out of his haze. he closes the door and turns on his heel, following you into his space and putting a hand on the small of your back to guide you to the couch.

“what happened?” he asks you in a gentle voice. you turn and look at him again before you sit on the couch, a frown on your pretty lips, and his heart shatters.

“he was cheating on me.” is all you say. you look down, almost embarrassed to admit it, and he has to fight back a scoff. how could your idiot boyfriend possibly find someone better than you? it completely baffles him, but he pushes it to the side; you obviously need to be comforted right now.

he pulls you into a hug, wrapping his arms around your shoulders and pushing you flush against him. you let out a shaky breath as he does, reacting immediately by wrapping your arms around his torso. he rubs your back soothingly as you cry softly into his chest, and his heart clenches. he wishes so badly that he could take your pain away, or better yet, that he could teach your ex boyfriend a lesson. but, you’re more important right now.

“you need anything?” he whispers against your ear, resting his cheek against the top of your head. you sniffle before you speak up, lifting your chin to look up at him.

“do you have any tea?” you whisper in a groggy voice. he smiles softly, and nods, and then releases you from his arms begrudgingly.

“you go sit. i’ll make some for you.” you nod, then sit on the couch, bringing your feet up onto the couch and crossing your legs.

as he makes your tea, he tries not to think about how badly he wants to kiss you. how badly he wants to help you forget about your ex. but, he knows he can’t, not yet. he’ll have to wait a little while, as not to take advantage of your fragile state.

after a couple of minutes he returns with two mugs, handing one to you and placing the other on the coffee table. you thank him softly, then take a small sip before you move to set yours beside his. he sits beside you, resting his arm behind you on the back of the couch.

“come here.” he urges you softly, and you oblige immediately, leaning against him rather than the arm of the couch. all you want right now is physical contact, and you relax into his embrace. he smiles to himself as you rest against him, fighting the urge to pull you right onto his lap and kiss your tears away.

he knew he had to have you the first time he saw you. you had just moved into the apartment beside his, and you came to his door with a sheepish smile on your face, apologizing profusely about any disturbance your dad and brother may have caused while arguing as they were helping you move in.

you were a soft, sweet thing, and so so pretty. and he was hooked.

after that, he did everything to keep running into you, and eventually became your friend. the only problem was your stupid boyfriend, who he quite frankly, didn’t think deserved you.

“do you want to talk about it?” he asks after a few moments of silence. he feels you shake your head against his shoulder, and he hums softly in response. you just need some company right now, and he’s more than happy to stay right here.

“can we just, stay here for a while.” you whisper. he nods, mumbling a quick “of course” as he rubs his thumb over your shoulder, pulling you even closer to him. he grabs the tv remote beside him and turns on the tv, putting on a random show to help keep your mind off of your idiot ex.

before long, your eyes flutter shut, your steady breathing signalling to him that you’ve fallen asleep. he stays in the same position for a while, then lowers the volume of the tv to almost zero, and slowly and gently maneuvers himself off the couch. he lowers you to lay on the couch, making sure your head is on a pillow, then covers you with a blanket. the last thing he wants is for you to wake up cold or uncomfortable.

he watches your sleeping form for a minute before he finally turns and makes his way up to his bedroom. one day, you’ll be sleeping in his bed with him. he's sure of it. but today, he’s perfectly happy that you’re sleeping on his couch. in his apartment. because that means that you ran to him while you were in pain. that you came to him to make you feel better. and that makes his heart swell with hope.

you’re going to be his one day. he just knows it.

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[masonmontz]

hellooo everyone :) hope you like it

REMEMBER: english is not my first language

angst word count: 2,6k

✦‎۟    ࣭   ⊹

Mason doesn't know when things started going wrong, but it's been a while.

Since that night.

The night a piece of Mason died, because before everything was beautiful and happy, and now he feels like everything is blue. Mason is not a melancholic person, but he doesn't know how to get out of it when no one is understanding what is happening to him.

“Hi, can you come to Manchester alone?” Mason asked his mother on the phone, and it was the first time in over a year that Mason had asked Debbie to come to him. Only her, because Mason needs a comfort that only Debbie can give him, the comfort that only a mother can give a child.

“I'm taking a train tomorrow” she replied and he nodded before hanging up, but not before answering several questions, and honestly Mason didn't want to answer any of them because he was too sad. 

Mason hung up the phone and went to the kitchen looking for something to eat, but he's a disaster at cooking and had no head to think, so he just picked up his phone and ordered Japanese food.

He wasn't really hungry, but if he didn't eat, he knew he would have terrible training tomorrow. Some days Mason just ate out of obligation, smiled out of obligation, talked because others talked to him, and he does everything like a robot.

Mason stood at the kitchen window and watched the rain falling outside. Winter was coming and Mason was going crazy, everything was strange, he finally returned to training after a few weeks injured, but not even that could make him happy.

Mason hasn't been able to feel happy for over a month. 

And he doesn't know when he'll be able to get over it.

✦‎۟    ࣭   ⊹

“So, do you want to talk about it?” Debbie asked him the next day after he got back from training. She was sitting on the couch and Mason sat on the floor when he arrived, just to play with Ace for a bit. Debbie knew there was something very wrong with her son, Mason was silent, sad.

“Hum, yeah, of course, I just don’t know how” Mason sighed in frustration, for a month he has been mulling over the same thing in his head, surviving day after day, but he feels like he is about to explode. “It's hurting me, mum.”

Debbie felt sorry for him because he looked miserable. Mason sighed and lay on the floor, looking up at the ceiling above him.

“Let's start at the beginning, okay? Was it something between you and Y/n?”

Mason's heart sank when she spoke your name to him, because Mason had refused to talk about it for a month, and now he felt all the feelings rushing into his chest at once like bullets.

Debbie knew about you, you and Mason had only been together for a few months, but he seemed more in love than ever. 

“I was going to be a father” Mason whispered and the memory of that terrible night came rushing back to his head, a terrible place in his mind that he couldn't get out of on his own. “She lost our baby.”

“What?” Debbie couldn't hide her surprise and shock, because she didn't expect this. 

“It was my fault.”

Mason has been reliving that night in his head all the time, ever since he heard the doctor say the baby didn't survive. Mason remembers the feeling that was like several knives hitting him, he had never felt anything like it. Mason remembers the scene of you crying in the hospital bed, he can even hear the sobs when he closes his eyes, and that sound has terrified him every night.

“Why is it your fault, Mason?” Debbie asked, getting off the couch and sitting on the floor. Mason laid his head on Debbie's legs, feeling his heart ache as she stroked his hair, just like a mother does with a child. 

It was a very rainy night, Mason had an interview scheduled at Old Trafford and he decided he wouldn't go by car, as Bruno was also going and Mason asked to go with him. Bruno left first and Mason asked you to pick him up, but more than twenty minutes had passed and you still hadn't arrived, and Mason started to get worried, but he couldn't leave, because you could arrive at any moment.

But the only thing that arrived was a message from your number, but it wasn't you who wrote it. Mason's heart stopped at that moment as he read the message saying that your car had slid off the road and crashed, but you were fine, you just needed to go to the hospital because of the baby. 

Mason paid the Uber driver a lot more while he begged him to go faster because he was so worried he was biting his nails.

Shit, it was his fault, Mason shouldn't have asked you to pick him up in that heavy rain. Anyone knew it could be dangerous.

Mason ran through the halls after finding out which room you were in, and he sighed in relief when he saw you lying there without a scratch, but when you turned to head towards the door, Mason saw red eyes.

He didn't want to think the worst, but it was impossible.

“Hey, you good?” he approached, shaking, Mason's hands began to sweat. He was happy that you were alive, that you were okay.

You opened your mouth to respond, but a sob escaped your throat and you began to cry desperately. Mason sat on the hospital bed and hugged you, not caring that he was wet from the rain.

“How is our baby? Is everything fine?” 

Mason felt his heart break into a thousand pieces when you pressed your face against his chest and cried, and Mason felt trapped in a nightmare when he understood what had happened. You looked up and looked at Mason, you were inconsolable, suffering, and it was then that Mason realized that it was his fault.

“I lost- I lost our baby” he couldn't say anything, but you were squeezing Mason so tightly that he couldn't get away and get away from you. “I’m so sorry, Mason. I’m so sorry.”

Mason didn't know why you were apologizing. He didn't say anything, Mason didn't even let a tear fall, he couldn't cry when you were desperate in his arms.

“It wasn't your fault, Mason” Debbie said to Mason when he told her what had happened, and she wiped the tear that fell down her son's face. “Don’t say that ever again.”

“I shouldn't have asked her to pick me up, I should have taken an Uber or taxi and left her at home, safe.”

You would still be pregnant if it weren't for the car crash that caused you to lose the baby, and you wouldn't be sad right now, nor would Mason. And you wouldn't be separated either. You were going to have a beautiful baby, Mason thought it was a girl, and then he was going to have two of you.

Everything was ruined now, and it was all his fault.

Mason also can't forget your crying when he left you two days later like a coward, the guilt was consuming him and he accepted that you would be much better without him. He was a coward, Mason couldn't accept that he made you suffer like that, and that's why he decided to leave, so as not to cause any more damage to your life.

Mason didn't know what was worse, remembering you crying when you told him you had a miscarriage or when you were crying and begging him not to leave you. 

“Why did you leave her, Mason?” 

“Because I don't want to cause her any more suffering.”

“Mason, I'm your mother, and I'm not going to hide what I think about this. You're suffering, you think it's your fault but it's not, and I'm sure Y/n thinks the same.” Mason closed his eyes, it still hurt to think about it, and maybe it would never stop hurting. “I can't imagine your pain, losing a child is probably the greatest pain anyone can go through, even if the child hasn't been born yet.”

“But a mother's pain is probably greater, what if Y/n thinks it's her fault? Have you thought about that? I don't want to put any weight on your shoulders, but you left her at the worst moment of her life. She might be suffering much more without you than with you.”

“She's probably better off without me.”

“I'm only going to tell you this once. You know she loves you, that woman would do anything for you and I know you would do anything for her, don't ruin what was the best thing that ever happened to you because you're stubborn. I'm so sorry you lost a child, Mason, I'm truly sorry, it's a dream to be a grandmother again, but I'm not going to let you cry here alone when you could be by her side and you can get through this together.”

Mason cried. For the first time in a month he cried. Mason let out all the pain of losing his baby, crying eased the pain he had in his chest, but not the guilt.

Debbie let him cry and cried with him, because Mason was still her son and she didn't want to see any of her children suffer. She would let them all cry on her lap whenever they needed to.

“I don't want to make her sadder.” he confessed quietly and felt his mother's fingers in his hair. 

“You need to be with her, Mason, no one wants to go through this alone.”

“I think it was a girl.”

Mason could imagine a little girl running around the house, with hair the same color as him, but with your smile. She would definitely have your personality.

“I wish you had told me sooner that I was going to be a grandmother. I'm so sorry about that, Mason. I never wanted you to have to go through the pain of losing a child.”

“I feel like my heart has been crushed for a month.”

“Please go talk to her, she deserves an explanation and you don't deserve to go through this apart.”

✦‎۟    ࣭   ⊹

You sighed when you felt a drop of rain fall on your face, walking faster to the entrance of the building where you live with some groceries in your hands. It still wasn't fast enough, because the rain got heavier and you got soaked as you tried to reach the building.

“Oh, Lord” you muttered to yourself when you reached the gate, and didn't even look ahead as you made sure no bags were ripped. 

You stopped when you saw Mason standing at the entrance of the building outside, staring at you. He was standing leaning against the wall, and you felt your heart race because you hadn't seen him in over a month. 

He had his hair shaved, and you knew it was because he took a hit to the head that caused him to get stitches. God, you loved him so much you could cry, and he was so beautiful and you hated him for leaving you.

Not even the rain bothered you at that moment, because you couldn't look at anything else but Mason. Mason pushed himself off the wall and walked towards you, but he called you to get out of the rain that had now left all your hair and clothes wet. 

“Hey” you said, handing the bags to Mason when he asked. “Do you want to come in?”

Of course, you couldn't help but notice the deep circles under his eyes, and Mason looked thinner than usual. You knew you looked just as bad as he did.

“If you don't mind, I want to.” 

Mason walked you to your apartment in silence, and you didn't know what to say. It was a surprise to see him there, it had been a terrible month and you still hadn't recovered. 

Mason put all the bags in the kitchen while you went to the bathroom to get a towel to dry yourself. Mason followed you when you went to your bedroom, and his desolate look on you warmed your heart, because you thought you were the only one who suffered with what happened, but Mason was there in front of you suffering.

“I'm going to take a shower” you mumbled and took off your clothes, knowing Mason was watching you. “Come with me?”

You didn't wait for Mason and went to the bathroom, turning on the hot water in the shower to take a long shower after the cold rain. You stepped into the shower and watched as Mason silently took off his clothes, and soon after he was in the shower with you.

“Why did you leave me?” you whispered looking at Mason. Mason opened his mouth to respond but he couldn't, he started crying and put his hands on his face. “Mason, it’s fine.”

“I’m so sorry, Y/n. I’m so sorry, please forgive me. It was my fault and-”

“What?” you asked, because you had no idea that Mason was blaming himself for what happened. “It wasn't your fault, what are you talking about?”

Mason knelt on the bathroom floor and wrapped his arms around your waist, crying into you as the hot water ran over you.

“I should have never asked you to come pick me, it's my fault, you lost our baby because of me.” God, you didn’t think you could feel this much pain. Mason had been blaming himself for a whole month, and you would never have let him go if you knew. You knelt in front of him and held his face in your hands.

“Listen to me, this wasn't your fault, it was an accident and accidents happen.” He shook his head and you rested his forehead against yours, hugging his neck. “Why did you leave me?”

“I didn't want you to hate me, I didn't want to make you suffer more.”

“I suffered more without you by my side.”

“Forgive me, please.”

“There's nothing to forgive, Mason. You lost a son too, I know this is hard for you too.”

“I shouldn't have let you go through this alone.”

“Never leave me again, please.”

“Never again, never again. I promise. I’m so sorry.” 

“I wish I was still pregnant.” you confessed, because it's true. You've lived very happy weeks since you found out about the pregnancy.

“I know, me too.” Mason left a kiss on your forehead and you held him closer to you. It was an intimate moment, two hearts hurting but finding healing together. “I love you, I’m so sorry.” 

“I love you, I’m sorry too.” you kissed Mason. “We'll get through this together, okay?”

“I'm sorry I was away from you for a month, you've been through hell alone.”

“Don't worry, you're with me now.”

You took a shower together, nothing more than small kisses, because you just wanted to spend time together. It was an important moment, Mason felt like he was forgiven even though he had nothing to be forgiven for, and you knew that now you could fully heal, Mason was once again with you.

Sometimes the bad times just show you that you're better together than you are apart, and Mason finally understood what his mum said, about healing together, and getting through everything together, both the good times and the bad times.

[pieflavorpie]

My unpopular opinion is that i dont enjoy bards Lament. At all. It is objectively good, well performed with appropriate buildup. However, I am a child with an absentee father, and i have had similar thoughts to him before, and i used to have a friend that went down his path. I have seen and experienced every point of view. And what that was isnt justice. Its not calling people out, or making them realise how they have hurt him.

Its a very broken, depressed man who finally snaps and burns down the bridges with his friends. No, VM never asked for Scanlan's mum's name because that's not something they do. If you can list me 5 times where the team ask questions about peoples backstory [before Bards Lament] BEFORE it became relevant, then you have successfully proved me wrong. Anything revealed is either probed out of them as part of recon, or willfully offered as a piece of friendship.

[E.g: Keyleth talking about her aramente, Pike's history with Grog vs Percy's backstory being revealed after they get invited to dinner with the Briarwoods and Grog talking about his pack when its revealed his uncle has the vestige.]

And he never offered any of this information. There have been several times where VM have shown concern and actively asked how hes doing just for him to lie and shrug them off. They prank him while he was asleep because they think hes a fairly centred person who will enjoy an attempt to bring things back to normal and they were drunk.

And yes, they are mean to him sometimes, because they are a group of assholes. They never disguise themselves as anything else. Vax and Percy's friendship post-briarwoods for a good while is based in distrust and self loathing, respectively. Everyone has moments where they say mean shit to Grog [except Pike] because he cant understand it.

And the "without his songs hes just a guy" comment or however it was phrased was a tactical comment. Because he would be. He doesn't have any sort of weapon beyond Mythcarver which he refuses to use, and he doesn't have anything else he can use to support or fight. The same applies to Keyleth without her nature magic, it applies to Percy without his guns, it applies to Grog when people are out of range.

And no, I don't blame him for snapping when he woke up. I doubt taking a -4 to any rolls made would translate to a Happy Peachy character in-story. And all of his internalised misery finally coalesces in his tiredness. But what happens isn't good. It isn't progress. It is showing everyone a wound that has been tearing open over months, and then promptly storming out.

And his whole "I didn't want my daughter to see me like this." Isn't some Grand Show of how much he cares, it shows him as fucking selfish. My dad being weak is what drove him away, his insecurity stopping him from getting help from my family. That line of thinking is what makes him a sad, lonely man rotting in a flat after abandoning many families like my own.

That man in real life was strong, a brilliant teacher of martial arts. A true marvel to see and train with. He had a certain charisma to him, but he had his shortcomings. And when his partner got too close to them, he'd hold them tight to his chest and scurry away, only coming back for the drunk sex and eventually leaving entirely. Having enough distrust in his heart to claim any unwanted children to be illegitimate.

Now, Scanlan is nowhere near as bad as him, but there are similarities. And enough that I feel my word has weight when I say, if I were Kaylie, I would not want to travel with him. If he truly wanted to be closer to her and do good for her, he'd get better first. And to get better, you need people. Plural. You cannot depend on one person. And that person can absolutely not be your own fucking child. I'm not saying he should've stayed with vox machina, but he should've stayed with a group. A group of adults that could support him. And honestly I feel like so far from my watching of CR, his epilogue with kaylie is the most unrealistic character development possible. I know she's supposed to be rough and hardy, but I refuse to believe that girl would not be breaking under her father's bleeding desperation for validation. And I definitely refuse to believe that she could actually help him to the point he'd gladly leave her on another continent while he talked to the people he'd snapped at.

Anyway, fuck dickhead dads who don't get actual help. Especially fuck them when they start depending on their children for them to be a good person.

For those who do not know. Scanlan's departure from the party in the stream wasn't as... friendly. It was kind of an ugly break-up. It came from Sam wanting to do some unexpected twist with Scanlan's character and it led to a very emotional moment. That he did not feel validated, that he did not feel appreciated and that he was considered a joke by the group.

And it came down to one phrase from Scanlan to the group: "What is my mother's name?" and when nobody was able to answer the question. Scanlan left.

However, interesting little tid-bit that might help understand this change. which comes from one of the Q&A. which is no longer up because... uhm... a whole other Drama I am not here to explain.

And what Sam said in that Q&A is that there WAS one way in which Scanlan would have stayed.

And it was Pike. who wasn't there at the time (technically was as an NPC, but since Ashley wasn't there, it's the same thing), but which Sam said was the only person who could change his decision.

And what has Pike done the entire season? BE that person who supported Scanlan in his darkest moment, and who deflated the situation probably without meaning to. And so he is able to leave the party in much better terms.

A shame because the emotional rollercoaster that it involved will be missed, but hey, it's cool to see what Sam meant by saying Pike was the one person who could stop Scanlan walking out of the party like he did

[katiascraft]

"Tender is the night for a broken heart" | CL16

Parings: Charles Leclerc x Reader.

Summary: you been feeling very sad lately. Your emotional stress is taking you places you didn’t want to back in ever again. And Charles knows it - just wanna make sure you know you are loved despite it all.

Now playing: "Space song" by Super Pipo.

Word count: +2k

Warnings: INSINUATION OF SUICIDE - if you are sensitive to these kind of topics please don’t read it. ANGST WITH HAPPY ENDING. VERY SAD. Not a native English speaker so there could be (so many) errors. I do what I can. Not proofread.

Author's note: I may or may not written this one about a real situation. PLEASE READ WITH CAUTION. Hope you like it and sorry in advanced if I make you cry. Charles the man that you are in my head 😭. Don’t forget to comment, like or reblog! And follow me so we can be friends :3 (and drink mate together!)

MASTERLIST

The wind was brushing the tears that were dropping from your eyes gently. You were shaking, scared. Nature was the only thing that surrounded you. Tall pines with your favorite gradient of green were all around you. You could hear the bird singing. You thought it was morning because the sun on your face was warm - that made you close your eyes to take it all in. that made you sob even harder. You could hear the water of the river crashing against the stonewall of the cliff you were standing on. when you opened your eyes you could see that you were on the edge of it. You took a gasp of fair freezing in the moment. A feeling so overwhelming took over you starting to sweat. Your hands wrapped your own body around. You hugged yourself there. The pain eating you alive was almost unbearable. The wind intensified, sending shivers down your spine. You closed your eyes again, ready to let go of everything. Of this pain you carried along so many years of your life. This burden you carried everywhere. This ghost living inside you is trapped, washing away your personality. Your soul felt in prison by the canvas it got. Your body felt the most uncomfortable place to exist. Your mind was so twisted sometimes you didn't know what was reality and what was your anxiety inventing fake scenarios which will hunt you all night long. Living with you was so difficult. It felt impossible for you that someone could actually love just by who you were. If you are this dark entity then who could love you? Anyone. Your mind convinced you, you needed to end it all to be finally free. You knew you were meant to fly. You just needed to let go. Relax your body and let it float. Let it fall into the immensity of the universe. Let you find a better place to live in. have your happy ending. You finally opened your eyes again out of breath trembling. You were ready. This was it for you. It was time. It was finally time. You even smiled.

But when you were about to let go you started hearing that voice. The same voice you heard every morning and you didn't know why it would choose to stick around your misery.

“y/n! y/n stop!” his voice almost broke your ears of how loud he screamed. You stopped freezing at your feet. Your heart started pounding like crazy. Adrenaline takes over your body turning your face red. Tears started to come out again even more violently. “y/n please don't do it!” his voice was torn in desperation. He was crying as violently as you, you could feel it. You could feel him grabbing your arms. You saw the watered disappear. Now you could only see the stone of the mountain you were standing on. You screamed at the top of your lungs and then everything was black.

“No!” you woke up sweating cold. You were a sea of tears shaking. Charles was already awake. He was trying to wake you up for a couple of minutes and now is really worried about you. You couldn't stop crying stunned by the nightmare you've just had.

“y/n. It's okay, love. I am here. You are ok” he said gently so wouldn't scare you. He grabbed you in his arms carefully. You looked so fragile he was scared he could break you. His heart ached seeing you like this.

These past few weeks were really hard on your end. You started feeling like your old self, self doubting about everything and anything. Insecure you weren't enough anymore for him or your job or your friend or even your family. You started feeling like a burden again lost in your own pain and struggle. Life was always a little harder for you. You've been out of really toxic relationships during your teenagehood that broke you down so bad you had to rebuild yourself all over again as if you weren't ever born. All this trauma you carried made everyday harder to live for you. You developed social issues not knowing how to interact or make friends as the aftermath. You also couldn't trust people or ask for help. Yeah, you were depressed for a couple of years. Thankfully you met Charles at your best self you liked to think. You were starting to feel happier. You liked who you were becoming. It wasn't that hard anymore to talk to people or open up with them.

When you met, you never thought Charles would even like you to be fair. He was the most gorgeous guy you have ever met. Real life prince charming you used to tell your friends. You were only an average girl, a troubled and messed up one, you thought you had no chance with him. But at the end of the road trip with friends he kissed you and you felt so overwhelmed with joy you couldn't believe it was actually your life, the one you were living. It felt strange and at the same time amazing. It was so easy with Charles to open up to him and tell him your story. He never judged you nor ran away from you scared. He didn't see you as a monster. As a broken record never able to be fixed. He fell in love with you because to him you were the sweetest person with the biggest heart he has ever talked to. You were so honest and real to everyone about everything he fell for it. He fell for your loud and weird laugh. So Precious and contagious. With your beautiful sparkly eyes always so honest and crystal clear. You were so you, so real. He felt you were so brave to be so you. In his world it was uncommon for your kind of people. He knew since the first night he met you at Lando´s birthday 5 years ago that you were the one. He didn't know you but he already knew. Destiny told him.

He knew your struggles, of course he did. He always listened to you. Felt so heartbroken every time. If he could, he would literally murder every single monster - because the one who hurt you didn't deserve to be called even humans - that did all of that to you. To him you were so pure, maybe too good for this cruel world. He tried to protect you from it all the best he could. But there was one thing he couldn't protect you against and that was your mind. He knew that your mind was the one who could move earth and seas just to hurt you in the worst way possible.

Heknew something was off with you when you started retreating. You stopped going to friends´ dinners. You didn't assist in the races you were supposed to. You stopped getting out of home more and more. You barely went out to the garden. Most of the time you were in your studio working non stop to preoccupy your mind and not think. He knew you were struggling when I stopped doing your hair the way you loved to do it. Stopped wearing your fancy outfits just to drive him crazy and urging you to take them all off when you two got home. You stopped eating the meals you were supposed to. He knew you avoid seeking help when you feel this down. He knew it was really hard for you so he let you be and wait for you to take your time until you're ready to address your feelings.

Tonight you were asleep when he got home from Max´s. You didn't want to go either and Max was your best friend. Charles was really concerned about you. He hated seeing you like this when you don't deserve to feel this. He would burn the world alive just for you to be happy if needed. You were sleeping peacefully so he decided to take a shower and join you. He laid next to you on his side to look at your face so peacefully relaxed. So angelical. He always felt so lucky to have you around in his life. Even without noticing you were the light of his life. You made him so incredibly happy, heard, understood, supported, embraced. You were his angel. Always reaching for him to give him a hand with anything he needed. So patient and understanding. You were his favorite place and he wished he could make you feel the same. Because he loved you with every fiber on his body and the only wish he had was for you to be happy.

After about 20 minutes of sleeping or so he woke up to you sobbing uncontrollably next to him. You were asleep. He guessed you were either having a nightmare or sleep paralysis. He settled on the bed so he could try to wake you up. His heart was racing in anxiety full of worry. He tried to wake you up for a couple of long minutes until you finally did and he clothed you in his arms. He rocked you gently trying to comfort you in some way.

“I'm sorry baby you feel this way” he whispered with a knot on his throat. You were shaking still but your crying ceased little by little. He kissed your temple lovingly and carefully. You just stayed like that until you could calm down.

When you did you felt drained. Your heart aches as your face from your salty tears and tries to wipe them everytime. Charles cupped your cheeks making you look at him. You felt so guilty and embarrassed to make him go through this. He didn't deserve to be with a broken soul. He deserved better. Someone that could make him happy as he deserved. You looked at him, his eyes glassy with tears.

“Listen to me y/n, i know you may or may not believe me. But listen to me okay?” you swallowed hard, ready to hate yourself for being a burden to him. “I love you. I know you feel like you don't deserve me like you are not enough for me. But let me tell you all of that is not true. I swear I would kill all these people who made you believe all these awful things about you if I could. You don't deserve to feel this pain baby. You are beautiful. You are important to so many people. You make so happy you don't have an idea” his voice cracked making you start crying again and so did he. “You really do y/n, please, believe me. You are an amazing person despite everything that happened to you. You fought so hard to be who you are and I promise it's beautiful to see. And I'm so proud of you baby. Everyone is, I promise. You are really important to me and to everyone that knows you. You are light and I know you don't feel like it. That you feel like a burden but you aren't. And you'll never be for the right people, the ones that see you, the real you. and the real you is so interesting and pretty baby. Yes you are my love” he was crying and smiling. You were sobbing but didn't take your eyes away from him. He was burning your soul with his words. Telling you everything you needed to hear and he didn't even know that. Charlie was so perfect to you even in this shitty as fuck situations with your mental health. You felt so lucky right there in his arms under the sight of his beautiful eyes that looked at you with deep love.

“I love you charlie” you said below whisper and hugged him tightly hiding yourself under his frame. You wanted to hide there forever if possible. He intensified his grip and kissed your head trying to comfort you as much as he could.

“You deserve to be happy y/n, i really mean it. You're the best person i've ever come to know.” he said softly making butterflies fly like crazy on your stomach. The pain you felt was fading away now little by little. You felt so dumb for not talking sooner about your feelings but you forgave yourself. That's what your therapist told you. You need to be more gentle with yourself and give the same understanding perspective as you give to others. Treat yourself as you treat others. Always.

“You make me happy” you said with your face buried in his neck not wanting to get out of there anytime soon. He smiled relieved and pressed gentle kisses on your cheek.

He was the first person who listened to your soul. And you knew right there that with him by your side you could heal and finally be the person you deserve to be and be loved just because.

Charles was the love of your life. And he was yours. There´s nothing to be afraid of.

You will be more than okay.

[rapunzellovesbooks]

The way I just want to hug Luke Newton and apologize on behalf of the entire Polin fandom for the shit he had to go through over a f*** picture taken without his consent. Like, I get it was the crazies, but still. Being part of the Taylor Swift fandom and seeing how she disappeared for a damn year over a leaked video taken without her consent and taken out of context villainising her... I know it must have hurt. And we can say it was months ago and that he knows who his true fans are, but still, that stuff would affect anyone, specially someone as sensitive as he is. I usually mind my own business and do not ship real people, heck, I usually do not even go online and "protect" celebrities. I tend to just focus on the happy and celebrate the characters they play but something about that June 13th and the look on his face... it haunts me to this day. And I just feel very very bad for him still.

I am deeply aware of the fact that I know nothing about his life, not really. I only know about his feelings for Polin and Nicola, because he has spoken about them. I have access to the same amount of information as the rest of the world, the pictures and videos of their WT and behind the scenes, the interviews he has done. I do not know anyone in his life and I should not have to. Neither do I know Nicola. And hey, maybe it never happens. Maybe they are happy with someone else (I doubt it, but this is just a feeling I have) and their relationship remains unique and the millions of questions we have never get answered. My point is, I got into this fandom because seeing their bond brought me joy. I don´t think them having other people in their lives diminishes that, which is why the hate he got over one picture never sat right with me. I do not get how it affects someone´s viewing experience of a show. I do not understand why we are so focused on labelling people´s relationships, as if it is as easy as saying a pencil is pink or green. It makes me happy seeing their videos and waiting for crumbs. I have fun hoping that what I truly see as more than platonic feelings will come to fruition.

I write this because the world is in shambles right now. And the last thing anyone needs is to add more negativity to it. So, I hope that we can, in the Lukola fandom, be kind and focus on the good. I do not give a shit about paparazzi photos or whatever the "adjacents" or however you want to call them do. In fact, I have not once looked at A´s or JD´s SM, nor do I want to. They are human beings, but not the human beings I care about. Even if they are involved in Luke and Nic´s lives, I will never send them hate or bad mouth them. I have no idea what they are to them. All I know is what L and N have said about each other. And it has always been good. So, that is where I will be.

And, yes, I truly believe they will be together. And I will be happy with anything that suggests it so, cause this is supposed to be fun and joyful. I, unlike other people, do not label people as gf or bf UNLESS it comes directly from the people involved. And if anyone ever confirms or launches anything, I will still be here. Cause that is what shipping is. Not hate, not negativity, not putting other people down, not invading someone´s privacy, not thinking that a moment in time is forever (people break up all the time, there is no way to know if someone is still with someone if there was never a "launch" or whatever you want to call it).

It would make both Luke and Nicola sad to see that a connection that is supposed to bring people joy is putting people against each other. I know we were so well fed with content over so many months that now we hold onto every detail we have not dissected yet. I get it. I also miss them. But that is the way it is supposed to be. We are not supposed to know everything. We are just supposed to be grateful and happy for when something good related to them happens. That is all and that is my hope for this fandom.

Spread joy and leave the rest out of it. Spiralling only makes people dizzy. Let us "get some vision, bro" like Luke said.

Thank you for reading and, remember, be kind to one another.

[lobotomisedsims]

SIMS 4: BEETLEJUICE MOD

Though I know I should be wary,

Still I download some mod scary,

Ghostly CC I turn loose:

BEETLEJUICE!

BEETLEJUICE!

BEETLEJUICE!

MORE INFO UNDER CUT

New CAS items:

Beetlejuice's suit (4 swatches, clean and moldy versions and different shirt colours)

Beetlejuice's trousers (2 swatches, clean and moldy versions)

Beetlejuice skin (different versions found in different places. You can find them in eye details, face paint, lipstick, and eyeshadow. Lots of different swatches for the version you want!)

Dolores's stitches (in facepaint and body scars. Version in scars has the stitches and seams separate to be put together similar to GrimGuide's halloween stitches if you've ever used that before)

Sandworm eyes (in... eyes. Where else would they be?)

Sandworm skins for SaveState furries (also works with SoraFoxy's furries and tomjj's furries, though some of the bird beaks look odd. Does not work for benji's furries. Looks weird.)

New BuildBuy stuff:

Delia's statues (set of 4, found in 'decoration'. This was my first time modeling in Blender so sorry if they came out a lil wonky!)

Beetlejuice's tombstone (3 swatches, 2 of different spellings of his name and 1 in simlish. Found in 'decoration'. PURELY DECORATIVE, DOES NOT FUNCTION AS AN ACTUAL TOMBSTONE! To get it to look more like the version from the films, I'd reccomend using the bb.moveobjects cheat to add a lil gargoyle of some sort on top)

Handbook for the recently deceased (MIGHT require Seasons? It shouldn't since I messed with the mesh and stuff but if you don't have that pack and it doesn't show up in your game let me know. 2 swatches for English and simlish. Found in 'activities and skills')

Striped wallpaper (10 swatches! I kind of went overboard. Found in 'wallpapers'... duh)

Striped chair (5 swatches, found in 'comfort'. Again this shouldn't require anything else if I edited the mesh properly, but it's possible this might require Cottage Living if I screwed up.)

New traits:

STRANGE AND UNUSUAL TRAIT

Faster at training photography and medium (from paranormal stuff) skills

Slower at building friendship and romance with other sims

Stronger 'sad' moodlets

Become inspired around occult sims (vampires, werewolves, aliens, spellcasters, mermaids, and the skeletons from jungle adventure)

Permanent happy buff when they themself become an occult (does not include the skeletons as it is a hidden trait you can't give to sims without cheats or other mods)

Random chance for sad moodlet because "nobody understands them"

Are happy when in Strangerville, become inspired in the secret lab (fair warning, I've had issues with getting this to work, this is my first set of traits so it could cause some issues! If anyone better at this stuff than me knows how to get this working 100% of the time please let me know ;u;)

Can give a "strange introduction" to new sims

Can "share dark thoughts" with other sims

Can "enthuse about cryptids"

NOTE: If you are planning on making Lydia, I would reccomend using this in conjunction with the base game 'gloomy' trait. When making this trait I didn't want to just replicate Lydia's personality exactly since I wanted this to be a trait you could use on any sim, and I didn't want to make it too similar to the 'gloomy' or 'paranoid' traits.

GROSS GHOST TRAIT

Immune to death! Since they're already a ghost and all that

Faster at training mischief and medium (from paranormal stuff) skills, slower at training charisma

Playful buff when engaging in mischief

Social need decays fast, hygiene need decays REALLY fast

Positive reaction to being dirty or in a dirty environment (including the fixer-upper apartments in city living! Receives energised moodlet upon spotting roaches and inspired moodlet with the unexplained smell)

Gains uncomfortable moodlet when clean

More likely to feel playful

Other sims will notice a gross smell around them...

Cats and dogs are scared of them (could not figure out how to do the same with horses, sorry)

Can "gross out" (mischief) and "freak out" (mean) other sims

Can "lie about being a serial killer in a past life" and "convince to visit the Neitherworld" (mischief)

Can "confess to eating bugs" and "reminisce on past pranks" (friendly)

Can "tell terrible puns" (funny)

OPTIONAL BONUS STUFF!!!

Suit and trousers based on my OC Sirius (I don't know why anybody else would wanna use these but I threw them in there anyway!) 2 swatches

I did make their little noose 'necktie' too but had trouble texturing it. No matter what I do it just shows up completely black in game. So I gave up lol

>> DOWNLOAD HERE!!! (SFS) <<

PLEASE READ! For the traits you NEED to also download the .ts4script file, not just the .package file!!!

OTHER RECOMENDED CC (important)

Some of these are REQUIRED for parts of the mod to work, others are other people's Beetlejuice related CC I thought was cool!

SaveState's furry mod (REQUIRED FOR SANDWORMS) https://www.savestatecomic.com/dlc/

@daylifesims's Lydia hair https://www.tumblr.com/daylifesims/700120977032560640/gothic-side-set-lydia-and-here-is-the-most

@kismet-sims's Lydia hair (now you got two options! lol) https://kismet-sims.tumblr.com/post/179286280949/simbleen-gift-one-lydia-hair-made-it-from

@mosneakers's posepack + Lydia inspired hair https://www.tumblr.com/mosneakers/765876897461764096/day-o-posepack

@I-too-love-mr-beetlejuice's musical Beetlejuice CAS stuff https://makesims-finds.tumblr.com/post/190684018895/ok-so-i-was-getting-impatient-and-decided-to

Divider by @strangergraphics!

[connie-holder-of-flashlights]

Theory is classist because my oppressed class (white public school gifted kid) was never taught to read anything other then mid 19th century novels. Personally, as a liberal, I like to take it a step further and sort all political systems into two categories I call "good" and "bad," where good systems are ones that make me feel happy and bad systems are ones that make me feel sad. Obviously, there are a lot of parts to these systems so I just tally the number of times they make me feel good or bad while thinking about them. For example, I learned communism was authoritarian, and since I know that authoritarianism is wrong because its evil and stuff it gets one "bad" tally. Then I learned that like in the soviet union stalin was like a crazy guy and a lot of people didnt like him? Then basically once I reach 2 or 3 tallies thats all the information I need to know about it, and now I know with certainty communism is bad. Then its really cool because you can pull entire political systems out of the good or bad bucket and theyre all pretty much the same! Anyways, I really recommend this method of analysis for anyone whose done just a little too much adulting today and needs to take a hecking break! Its really hard to know what evem taxes are lol, let alone "analysis of historical and material conditions" or whatever the heck THAT is, no thanks lol

are you people just addicted to not learning theory?

What's with the obsession of using whatever political terms you can, regardless of meaning, as rhetorical ways of just emphasising how Bad something is? Fascism does refer to a specific organisation of capitalism in specific conditions with specific characteristics, not just 'when something is bad and oppressive' - something liberalism is very capable of! - and using the terms this way absolutely annihilates the actually useful analytical and theoretical value of the term, in favour of a view of politics as entirely rhetoric (which is clear from the emphasis on whether the term existed at the time or not, rather than the actual material structure being critiqued, as if the term is just an especially effective rhetorical weapon)

[zhuoyichenpretty]

Ep 22-23 Commentary

Ha...I was inexplicably nervous for eps 22-23 and it looks like I was right to be (-: What a rollercoaster. Spoilers below!

I've just come out of ep 23 and uh????? holy shit????? ZYC????

Ok ok but to backtrack, let's do my comments semi-chronologically:

Ep 22:

A carry-over from ep 21 that I have to mention—heck yeah PSJ give WZY hell. She doesn't have all that many lines but she sure knows how to make them count. Also seeing PSJ and WX get screen time just the two of them makes my brain go "yay <3"

Back to ep 22, loved the fake-out sundial ayeee that was a nice Chekhov's gun that also brings the real sundial back into relevance for later. Also me eating up the PSJ and ZYC crumb of an interaction has brought to my attention how starved I am of their screen time together.

This whole ep was a great lament towards the feared inevitable. Every sad downcast look from ZYC, every complicated glance WX gives him. A wonderful, terrible crossroads for these characters. I love that for ZYC especially, it's such an incredible mess of emotion coming to a head. Bad enough that he's come to care about the demon who killed his family and ruined his life, bad enough that he's sworn a blood oath he regrets and tied himself to punishing someone he no longer finds culpable, bad enough that ZYZ's life or death depends solely on his choice and ZYZ is constantly practically begging for death when ZYC wants him to live. How much immensely worse it makes the whole situation that WX is literally ZYZ's soulmate. And obviously the whole team has only grown more and more attached to ZYZ, too. ZYC's personal turmoil aside, how heavy must that responsibility and guilt be? For the finishing blow that only he can deliver to also deeply threaten every other person he cares about? Everyone understands in the abstract what must happen and why, but just like seeing ZYZ lose control firsthand, the gulf between understanding and experiencing is so unimaginably wide. If he kills ZYZ, can there really be no resentment from his friends? From WX?

Also it seems ZYC only wears cloaks so that he can give them to other people lmao

Ah fuck, the farewell drinks. I didn't even factor in how ZYC might not survive the encounter (''': The drama truly was like hm can we possibly give ZYC a worse day than that night his whole fam died? Maybe give him a bunch of new family members and also the blade and the fate and the sole responsibility to potentially irrevocably scar said family members with? And he might die in the process too? (-: haha maybe? (((-:

Oh. Oh. Addendum. I forgot this til I saw it mentioned in another post—ZYC recounting his oath as he watched WX smile when they discussed reviving the tree...I could feel him weighing those words against his own life, against ZYZ's life, against WX's happiness. One way out of this impossible situation is indeed to doom himself. I'm in pieces.

Damn if WX isn't dedicated heart and soul, going into the sundial like that. I'm sad no one could keep her company for those 300 years but also I guess that's kind of an impossible ask (and maybe not survivable for the other non-goddess mortals? I'm admittedly very unclear on sundial time loophole logistics). It would have been nice to see someone offer though, even just to be turned down.

Ooh I like the soul needle fake-out, given this show's penchant for retroactive "actually we had a plan all along" moments. A good subversion of the narrative's own style.

Also I saved this for the end because it doesn't really fit the linearity of my comments but what the fuuuuuuuck oh my god I absolutely flipped out at this scene:

I am at once rabidly intrigued and at the same time not sure if I'll be satisfied with whatever payoff will come for this so I don't want to overindulge in theorizing and setting my own expectations too high. Maybe this is just a fevered hallucination, maybe it means nothing (I hope it means something). But damn!!! What a gorgeous man crazy scene.

In conclusion, ep 22 had some good stuff for me. Plot development and reflection and tension enough that I may have been satisfied with just that one episode. But they gave us two, so onward to ep 23 comments!

Ep 23:

I like how many solid reasons the team has to suspect ZYC being possessed. Even though I withheld judgment during my watch given how quickly the show usually confirms that kind of stuff with a possession mark, just simply casting that doubt made the whole build up that much more intense.

ZYC slowly walking down the corridor with the whole grounds lit a somber and haunting gold—*chef's kiss*

ZYC's monologue to a catatonic ZYZ is so important to me. The closest we'll get to his internal monologue about this whole situation. The kinds of things said when we think there's no conscious listener.

Okay so, having finished this episode and looking back, Li Lun's hands coming up from behind ZYC was not to denote possession (at least in this episode), potentially is a visual from ZYZ's POV, and seems related to the above screencap. I am so, so curious. Once again, I'm stopping myself from further speculation because I want to be surprised but ahhhhhhhhh

PSJ shooting at Ao Yin is so gorgeous. Her action scenes seriously never disappoint—the creativity of her fight choreos!! Also very cool that the whole team is getting to take part in the action, not just the two male leads.

Bai Jiu possession was not on my bingo card but I sure do love that we literally saw the possession take place and I still didn't connect the dots. Good shitttt. Also oh no ): ZYC was telling the truth about the soul needle, he was just tricked ):

Seriously from the Ao Yin case to getting PSJ released to reviving the Divine Wood to getting tricked by possessed!Bai Jiu to making pear soup to fighting ZYZ to fighting Li Lun—when will ZYC get a single goddamn vacation day holy shit.

Also when will WX tear up that contract so ZYZ can stop having a mild heart attack every time he wants to kiss her ): &I love that they saved the 300-year montage for this moment. While their ship doesn't give me brainrot personally, who could be unmoved by that incredible and undisclosed sacrifice? That's soulmatism.

Okay, I'd seen clips of them filming the ZYC and Li Lun fight but damn I did not expect it'd be happening right now!! Right after already taking damage from ZYZ? And my god is Li Lun brutal. The two actors did such an impressive job on this entire fight, what with Li Lun's ease and ZYC's suffering. I really appreciated the extensive hand-to-hand combat after Li Lun literally obliterated ZYC's sword. (Also though, given the origin of that sword, I kept hoping for a flashback to ZYC's brother once it broke, but alas, no dice.) Anyway, the show does not play around about ZYC whump it seems. I was very very shook by that throat punch; that shit legitimately looked like it hurt.

Honestly, I had a hard time with the extended ZYZ and Li Lun conversation at the very end because oh my god someone please heal ZYC lmao. But of course, that's the end of the episode~~

Y'all...check on your local ZYC stans because I was not okay after all that (': I need a heaping dose of comfort after all that hurt, but as always I'm cautious of hoping for much from canon itself. So yeah! Ep 23 was solid, but I would probably be in better shape if today's release just ended on ep 22 ((':

Time to go wait for the cast's Hi6 episode to drop so I can heal my battered heart ;-;

[miss0atae]

Random Thoughts about Let Free the Curse of Taekwondo (EP 7 - 8) :

I think the hardest part when you review a series is when you have to write something about the end. I usually avoid writing about the end of a series because I never really know where to start and how to finish it. I guess, it's also because it is usually hard for me to let go of a universe and characters I discovered and liked. I don't like saying goodbye. This series has been a very eventful ride. Do Hoe and Ju Yeong didn't have an easy life and they tried very hard to make it, but things weren't going as smoothly as it should be. I have to admit, after episode 5 and 6, I thought they would never make it. It seems so complicated for them to have a happy ending and I'm surprised, but happy by how they made it anyway. I said it before, but I really had difficulties to follow the story on the last two previous episodes. This feeling stayed during episode 7, but episode 8 was better and easier to follow. I guess, it's because we finally knew everything of what happened in the past and how it led the characters where they were in the present. It's a story about how violence and abuse can be so damaging on your life and impact a lot of your actions. It was a very sad story for the most part. It was deeply emotional for me and I felt very down after watching the episodes because I felt so much for the characters and I wished I could find a way for them to be happy. I was afraid the story would end badly, but I'm deeply grateful the story offered us a happy ending.

Like most viewers had guessed, Do Hoe lied and forged his diploma and when he tried to help his abused student, the mother of the child who went to the same school he was supposed to have graduated from, found out about the truth. Do Hoe had tried for a long time to make people forget about his past and to make them impressed by his success. He was very afraid of being like his father and failing to accomplish something. He was living an illusion because through this illusion he felt like he escaped his past. However, it didn't free him for the chains of the past. I think it wasn't that easy to live in this illusion anyway. How hurtful it must have been to keep failing the college entrance exams. We saw how Do Hoe pride himself about how he was doing his best to study. He wanted to graduate from this “Hasoul University” because it's the top university and graduating from this school would bring him the admiration of others. Do Hoe wanted to be more than the son of a violent father who failed. I don't think he ever really liked lying or pretending he really had this exams. That's why he kept hiding from Ju Yeong. The problem is that Do Hoe was suffering from transgenerational trauma. He was afraid of repeating the same patterns and attitudes of his father. His curse was this trauma he inherited from his father.

I think the story didn't really answer the questions about how to break the cycle of transgenerational trauma (it would have taken more than 8 episodes), but they made a good statement by the end of episode 7: to be able to move on, you need to heal from this first. I guess that's what happened when Do Hoe and Ju Yeong came back to the taekwondo school of Do Hoe's father and break or burn things from over there. It was the step to write down the beginning of their healing journey. From this point, they could start again. They learned to forgive themselves from whatever thoughts they had about being responsible. Do Hoe needed to have his redemption. Yes, people learned about his lies and his probation means he got another chance. It was truly amazing to see him get this new chance of becoming who he really wants to be without the burden of his past. I'm glad Ju Yeong was around him and encouraging him to grasp this new chance to the fullest. Being able to start anew and knowing you are loved can make you do many things. I think that's what Do Hoe feels. It was very cute and charming to see him and Ju Yeong being happy and enjoying this little domestic life together. They both deserve it. I'm just a little sad we didn't get to see them more in this happy place, but the story was not only about their love, but more about how to break the trauma from the previous generation. The love story was just the cherry on top.

In some way, I'm pretty impressed by Ju Yeong's resilience. He also ha a very complicated life and the way he dealt with his own trauma was pretty different from Do Hoe. He wasn't loved that much by his family, he also was abused and beaten by Do Hoe's father and in the end he tried hard finding Do Hoe and being with him. I sometimes feel the story didn't give him enough time to show his own response and healing from this past. I guess, it's because it's so linked to Do Hoe's own trauma that if one of them start to be free from it, the other one would follow too. Ju Yeong's love for Do Hoe is truly something endearing to watch. Around him, Do Hoe is able to be happy and to express himself more. He was always someone quite reserved, but when Do Hoe is with Ju Yeong, he cries, laugh, and stop holding himself. It was always Ju Yeong for Do Hoe. He admitted it himself, if he had been successful, he would have tried to find Ju Yeong. However, before he wasn't happy or successful the way he wanted so he kept avoiding him (at least until his dad's death). It was pointless because Ju Yeong doesn't care about this. He cares about Do Hoe being well and he wants to help him achieve his dreams. That's what matters to Ju Yeong. I really liked this character. Ju Yeong's healing journey started when he met Do Hoe's again. It was his own way of rebound from adversity as a strengthened and more resourceful person. When they were separated, he was just this guy who cried when seeing the snow, but after he was the one who helped Do Hoe stop his “curse���.

I also want to add something about Hyeon Ho. Again, I feel like the story didn't give us enough things about him. We know he used to bully Do Hoe and as the viewers we guess that it's because he rejected, at first, his attraction to him. Then, for 10 years he stayed around Do Hoe and he tried to be more than a friend to him, unsuccessfully. He knew about the truth of the falsification of his certification and he tried to help him. He didn't do well all the time, and it's easy to not like him for his past behavior towards Do Hoe. I think he regretted his actions. I felt bad for him because I feel he truly loved Do Hoe, but he was unable to understand him and to get past the mask he was wearing. Hyeon Ho never got to see parts of Do Hoe, even if he stayed around him for such a long time. It must hurt, especially if you have feelings for someone. I wish we saw him get to have someone to care for him in the end. We just have to hope after this phone call with Do Hoe that he tried to find his own happiness with someone else. He did try caring for Do Hoe. It didn't help him break from his trauma, but he was there nonetheless. It's true that Do Hoe never gave him his tears or his laugh. He was always so reserved around him, even after all these years. I think the last episode really made me see Heyon Ho in a different way. It was interesting.

In this end what did I think about "Let Free the Curse of Taekwondo"? It was a compelling story, sometimes confusing and I wish they had more time to really answer the few questions I had or the scenes I wanted to see. This story was really more about resilience, freeing someone from trauma than it was a love story. It's not a bad thing, but it wasn't exactly what I thought it would be. I think it's a must-watch and I will never watch it again. It's the type of story, I can only watch once. The happy ending is pleasant and I'm glad the main characters got it. I really wanted them to have one. I would not say it will be part of my favorite series I watched this year because it wasn't easy to watch. Korean BL usually have a bittersweet taste for me and it's not really the taste I'm looking for. I liked all the reviews I read about them and it was nice to talk about it with some of you here.

Thanks again for reading my own review. It was a great ride with all of you too.

[rhiannonsknife]

https://www.tumblr.com/rhiannonsknife/766686034414174208/thinking-about-sleepy-cuddles-w-jackie-shes-so

same anon here :3 u are so right about falling asleep so quickly in her arms, i feel like she gives the most comforting hugs and cuddles ever and she’s so warm too. like a human heater

i strongly believe that her go to show of affection is hugs. doesn’t matter what the situation is. whether you’re sad, sick, angry, scared, happy, anything, you best believe it always ends up with jackie opening her arms and offering you a hug.

i could make it angsty about how she doesn’t ever really feel loved herself so she’s always giving hugs to try and make up for that but anyway ☺️☺️ i would die happy in jackie taylor’s arms mhm mhm

i’m so sorry but i giggled when you said “she’s so warm like a human heater”…..because like….actually no, never mind, let’s not go there!! 🤗

anyway, anon, you are so right!! especially with that angsty take, i 100% agree! jackie never really felt loved the way she always wanted (and deserved) to, so from the moment she met you, she’s made it her mission to give all the love she never received!! i just know she has so much love in her heart that she a) has never been given and b) could never give before

okay no pause this just gave me an idea: 5 love languages of jackie taylor, anyone??

physical touch

okay starting with physical touch, of course!! as established: jackie is 100% more touchy-feely than she might admit, especially when she’s feeling vulnerable or sleepy. jackie is definitely affectionate, always finding small ways to reach out and remind you she’s there. she’ll hold your hand, link her arm with yours, or give you spontaneous hugs, warm and sincere. she loves being close, resting her head on your shoulder during movie nights, or tucking her arm around you in crowded hallways. to her, physical touch is a way of grounding herself in the comfort of being with someone she adores, and she’s never shy about showing it with /to you. it’s her way of making sure you always feel secure and loved!! and also a way to ground herself, though she has a harder time admitting to that!

words of affirmation

jackie is your biggest supporter!! if that girl wasn’t already the captain of the soccer team, she’d be your own personal cheerleader! she makes it a point to remind you often how much she believes in you, with little affirmations she sneaks into conversations. “you know you’re amazing, right?” she’ll say, catching your eye with a sincerity that leaves no room for doubt. she makes sure you never forget how special you are to her, giving compliments freely and reminding you of your worth, always wanting you to feel as cherished as she wishes she could feel at home :(

acts of service

jackie is attentive to the smallest details of your day-to-day life and finds ways to make things easier for you to a point where you don’t even have to verbalize them: if she knows you have a big test or a stressful week, she’ll show up with your favorite coffee/snacks or leave a hand-written note in your locker wishing you luck. when you’re busy or overwhelmed, she jumps in to help, always quietly and without making a big deal out of it. she has a nurturing side she rarely shows to anyone else, and through these gestures, she lets you know that you can always lean on her!!

giving/receiving gifts

jackie puts a lot of thought into the things she gives you, always with the intent of making you feel special!! she might make a small scrapbook of memories together or surprise you with a book you once mentioned liking, just because. she has a way of finding gifts that are all meaningful and personal, every single one of them evidence of how much she pays attention to you. they’re all an additional way of her saying i see you, and i want you to feel loved. aside from small, causal things she gets you occasionally, she also has a thing for preparing bigger surprises for you, whether it’s for a birthday, an anniversary, or just because she felt like it. because she can afford it, jackie will surprise you with things like expensive dinners for just the two of you or a necklace that matches hers that has you wondering just how much money she spent on it! she’ll insist on it, though, pouting whenever you even mention that you “can’t possibly accept that”.

quality time

okay last but not least: quality time!! for jackie, spending time with you is the highlight of her day. she’ll come up with endless reasons to be around you: whether it’s studying together, taking a walk, or planning an elaborate day out, just to have uninterrupted time with you. she craves these moments, where she can drop her polished, “perfect” exterior and just be herself, laughing and talking about everything and nothing. you’re her safe space, and she loves making time for you, savoring every second!! <3

[benjinotes]

you never fail to leave me speechless with your talent, but this time you completely devoured my soul and twisted it around?!?!! i always knew you were incredible with fluff, but this is something else—it’s heartbreakingly beautiful, and i’m so in love with it! 🥹

thoughs: (i’m mad)

the way you pour every bit of emotion into your characters is honestly so impressive. pulling off angst is so hard, but you did it perfectly—this level of tragedy is just amazing.

the worst part of their story is that jace never told his mom what really happened with the reader. i’m sure she would have let them get married if she knew, but that total lack of communication ended everything between them, which is just so sad but real at the same time.

also, the fact that she took her life in the one place she’d been truly happy and loved is just heartbreaking—it’s like she embraced her happiness one last time before dying, and i’m not ok!!!

favorite paragraphs:

"I love you more than the stars loves the sky, more than the moon loves the sun, more than air and anything in the world."

their love was so pure and genuine, i can’t handle it. 🥹

"If the Gods have her, or to whom, protects her until we meet again. Please tell her, that when the sun goes down, I think of her. Please tell her, that I never once forgot the sound of her voice calling my name." He choked in his begging, "Please. To whoever has her, please let her know that she lives in my heart and that everywhere I go I will always, forever see her face."

the way he finds comfort in the thought of seeing her again, in the idea that their souls are still connected, even after she’s gone… this is breaking me!

☝🏻 that’s my honest reaction, because love, that’s exactly what your writing makes me feel.

HOUR OF THE STARS 𝐩𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐜𝐞 𝐣𝐚𝐜𝐚𝐞𝐫𝐲𝐬 𝐯𝐞𝐥𝐚𝐫𝐲𝐨𝐧 𝐱 𝐚𝐫𝐫𝐲𝐧!𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

⠀⠀𝐬𝐲𝐧𝐨𝐩𝐬𝐢𝐬: love had two endings. every ending that was read in the book of the fate never appealed to anyone. it was either to accept the one you love walk down the aisle with someone else or to kill anything that stood your way. ⠀⠀𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: angst with no happy endings. major character death. mentions of adultery? short quick lovemaking. mentions of blood/gore. reader takes control, shes heartbroken, sad. the dance did not happen. jacaerys had his wife chosen to become king. very short one shot.

The invitation from House Targaryen seemed as though it burned through your vanity, the weight of its contents mocked you. Your cold dainty fingers ran through the expensive parchment paper, the words burning through your brain. The words kept repeating over and over, your mouth moved in silence reading the heading. You did not know whether or not to begin to allow the salty tears your eyes were holding back to pool its way down your cheeks or to scream into the void of your window where the clouds were your only comfort.

You knew this day was coming. The denial carried on your shoulders, the hope overcoming the fears that denied you sleep every night. Every kiss, every touch, every whisper and moan as hands roamed bodies late at night held desperation to dishonor the duties from birth.

A choked sobbed ripped from your chest as you crumbled onto the coldness of your floor. The knife twisted and pushed so deep you gasped as every tear pooled along your embroidered dress.

HOUSE TARGARYEN INVITES YOU TO JOIN THE UNION OF: PRINCE JACAERYS VELARYON AND PRINCESS BAELA TARGARYEN.

The reality now stared at you washing away every hope that you held onto as you allowed to love with every pounding moment. This was no one's fault but yours and your lover that kissed you promising he would fight for your hand and no matter what his mother - the queen - said he would never leave you.

That night as you held the rich parchment paper that smelled like oakwood and faint salty waters, you cried loudly as the stars rained down by the permission of the Gods who allowed a shower of sadden angels carry your pain.

Several nights passed and the Vale held a sentiment of loneliness and white silence. Locked away in your chambers you sat with your head empty, your chest remained with a gaping hole. Your heart remained in the hands of the honorable man that begged to see you one last time.

Your eyes were wide open staring blankly at the clouds that moved against your windows. You wore nothing but your sleeping silks. Every single day passed, and you repeated a cycle that was forcing your legs to move towards the warmth waters of your bath and back to the bed. A cycle that never wavered considering the fact you felt like the time had stopped and all you had left was death.

The pages of your book felt hard against your fingers that shivered from the open window of your balcony. Your long hair covered your features from the ravens and the moon that only wanted to console the pain. The door creaked open; your fingers only stopped trailing the words of the passage though you made no move to look at the intruder of your silence.

"You will catch a cold if you allow the cold air in more," the voice that made you weak in the legs made you flutter like a mockingbird's wings. You were afraid to look into the eyes that made you want to drown.

"Can you look at me?" He said as he stepped closer, his red cloak trailed the paleness of your floors. The moon shined a light upon his skin making him glow. "Please."

Your voice was soft, low that at first it sounded like nothing to Jacaerys but then he understood. You never moved; he watched as your hands held onto the hard cover of the book you read tightly; he saw the faint lines of your veins protruding.

"To what can I serve you Prince Jacaerys?"

Your words were like sharp knives stabbing him repeatedly. He deserved it, he failed to convince his mother of his true love. The one he truly wanted to marry and walk along him as his Queen. His mother's words repeated in the back of his head like a reminder of his duties as future king of The Seven Kingdoms.

"As I was your age, I had to marry to bring honor and because it was my duty as heir. I know you will do the same, and there is nothing better than unifying the family and making our blood stronger than marrying Princess Baela."

The burden of being an older son, the heir to the throne suddenly felt too hard for him. He was raised with responsibilities, honor and faith. There was only ever a woman to him and that was you, who avoided his gaze as all he had to gaze softly to be the silhouette of your smooth back.

"Y/n... please. I am deeply --"

You scoffed, throwing your book across the room, you raised your hand to stop him. "I beg your pardon. Are you truly sorry?"

"I am. I wanted to tell you first; I wanted to be the one to deliver my failed attempts to beg my mother to allow me to court you officially instead of hiding in the shadows of our walls!"

Jacaerys never raised his voice, but he was desperate, angry and most of all he was hurt. He was minutes away from walking away from the one person who kept him uphold and strong. You were the person that lifted his spirits, the person he would choose over anyone if he could over and over.

Finally with a tear that slipped from your dull eyes, you faced him, your figure frail and delicate compared to the woman he was used to seeing. The strong, fierce lady of the Vale who was good with her swords stood upon him with dark circles and chapped lips, her hair that was constantly braided in pretty twirls was in tangles.

"You are standing in front of me spurting lies, Prince Jacaerys. I would like for you to leave and never come back."

His title never sounded more humilating than coming from your mouth. He cringed at the coldness of your voice that cracked towards the end. He was not going to leave; he will never leave you.

"No, my lady. I will not."

You sniffled, your lips curling into a tight line.

"What do you want from me? What more do you want? I saw the invitation; I knew this was coming and I was a fool! I held an illusion that you and I could ever be! The worse part of this union is not that we were given false hope but..." You paused, the tears feeling like hot trails of lava down your cold cheeks, "You promised to try."

It was then his strong facade fell. The sounds of your choked sobs that you fought hard to keep within was enough to send him to the pits of the Gullet. He had told Baela of his relationship, and she was regretful, full of pity for her cousin that had no choice but to follow the tradition of their family.

"Go to her Jace," was all she said before she placed a warm hand on his shoulder and a soft kiss on his cheek. "The least you could do is give her peace."

Jacaerys moved, his feet like an instinct walked towards the one that made his heart throb so loudly he feared the Gods heard. You stood with your head in your hands as you sobbed, holding in the cries that began to hurt your chest and throat. He wrapped his strong arms around you, never moving, never once debating if he should step away. When you began to fight against his hold, your yelps of hurt as you swatted at his chest repeatedly, he only held you as he cried with you.

"I love you more than the stars loves the sky, more than the moon loves the sun, more than air and anything in the world."

You sobbed against his chest, your head shaking in disbelief, "No. No. No. No."

Jacaerys held your face, his heart breaking in tiny pieces that had no repair. He cried as he nodded, the tears streamed down his freckled cheeks rapidly, his lashes carrying the droplets of a broken future. "I love you. I do. I love you more than anyone. I am so sorry. I am sorry I failed. I am sorry I cannot give you what I promised --"

You interrupted his ramble as you swallowed his pain with yours. The kiss was wet, desperate and filled with agony that had both lovers crying a future they wanted to fulfil.

"One last time. Please."

Jacaerys broke away in a short exhale, he trembled, "I cannot... Baela."

You smiled softly, "You have not married her, and after today you will never see me again."

He shook his head, denying the cold truth, "No... You cannot leave me. I can try again. I can end the marriage. Aegon the Conqueror had two wives."

You only smiled tearfully, the words igniting a huge hole that had you wanting to throw yourself to an angry dragon at the pit of King's Landing.

"Jacaerys," you shushed him, your hands brushing back the wet strands of his curls, "I love you. My heart is always and forever will be yours."

He gathered you in his arms as he whimpered, "Y/n... please. Don't give up. I have not, I will fight my mother -"

You kissed him once again, this time with more force as you made sure you marked your scent, your presence deep in his skin. He moaned with a deep need to forever be in your hold. He wanted more, he needed you to bond yourself with him one last time.

As you laid him in the fur of your bed, you leaned over him. Capturing his hands as you laid kisses on his palm, memorizing every bump, tethered skin and beauty marks that made him real. He only watched quietly, his hands on your thighs, trailing a path of recorded memories that he will always remember.

Your lips trailed his skin, counting how many kisses and slight bites it took to reach his forbidden lips. Your words marked a poem that will never leave his mind till the day they burn his body by dragon fire.

"In this space right here that we have made for each other," you kissed his chest, your fingers removing every piece of clothing one by one, "You can say anything, and I will not abandon you..." You sat on his lap watching him with teared eyes matching his, slowly you placed your lips upon his, never moving, just allowing the breath of his broken heart ink itself into your soul. Finally, you said, tears flowing, splattering upon Jacaerys' cheeks, "Unwrap the worst things you have done and watch me hold them up to the light and not even flinch."

He gasped, his eyes widening when he felt you sink onto his cock so painfully slow all he did was cry as he held you. In a rhythm of loud sobs and tearful kisses, you allowed to be surrendered by the heat of Jacaerys Velaryon, your king, one last time.

Jacaerys never flinched when you marked his skin, he counted every lash on your eyelids, every mark on your skin from the wars you had been through. He kissed and licked every part of your body that left you crying his name out into the cold air. From afar he heard his dragon, his soul bonded mate roar into the air and he smiled. He smiled as you trembled into his hold, he smiled as you opened your eyes as much as you could to watch as his mouth devoured your insides. He smiled against your skin when your fingers tugged into his curls as his tongue was deep in your haven, he smiled when he felt the juices of your nectar flow down his throat, he smiled tearfully against your neck as he profoundly declared the love he had for you.

He smiled with trembling hands that held yours in complete silence as he begged to look at him straight in the eye one last time, coming together from the highs you were going to miss. He groaned as he released his seed deep inside you, marking your walls and your entire being as his.

In silence, you watched as he gathered his things, clipping his cloak onto his vest. He moved towards you and wrapped you around his waist as he prepared a bath for you. When you complained to wash him, he swatted your hand aside.

"What am I to let you do that for me? Tonight, let me treat you my beautiful love."

You did not know how much you could cry, but every touch of his had you with a final decision. Life without Jacaerys was not possible. So, as he playfully ticked you, and washed your hair delicately with a gentle smile on his tired face you stared in silence, memorizing for the final moments of your life how it felt to be loved by a man who had no choice but to follow a duty.

He sat by you, his back pressed against the headboard of your wide bed, you laid against him. He said nothing and you were okay with that fact. You were also just appreciating the happiest times of your life. His fingers played with your hands as he laid kisses on your head, he took a deep breath, breathing in your scent of vanilla.

He swore as he heard you fall asleep against him, mummering against the open shoulder of yours, "I promise, I will make you my wife, my Queen, no matter the consequence. You and I are meant to rule together. I promise."

That promise never became true.

On a full moon, where the stars rained down from the heavens. The rushed steps he took as he desperately wanted to make his petition to his mother. He stopped, the hopeful smile that laid on his lips slipping, there, beside his mother stood Lady Jeyne Arryn in black. His eyes quickly scanned for your bright, beautiful face, seeing you nowhere, he felt the surge of pain. The pain was so deep it felt like he was burned alive, like water seeping into his lungs and he wanted to scream for help.

On the night of a half-moon, hidden behind numerous clouds, no stars in sight, you had taken your life in the cruelest way. Among the highest mountain where you had given your maidenhood to the love of your life, you had taken poison. The guards of your home found you with a smile on your face as your entire body was covered in blood, you choked in your own blood as the crows made a feast of your cold body. Upon records, you went missing for a week, the day after you saw Jacaerys you had met with a witch to make a drink to die peacefully.

With holes in your body, like the hole of your chest you refused to live further with, you laid at peace knowing that perhaps in another universe like the stories in the library, you had found a forever with the prince.

There Jacaerys stood years later, now with a crown on his head. Life without you was hard, but he pushed beyond the pain he felt every single passing moon. He knew you would have wanted him to live. So he did, he lived and began his rule. Jacaerys the Gentle, the Wise. The kingdom never saw their king with a smile, and stories will tell of the tale of doomed lovers and the Queen who could have been.

Vermax stood by his rider, growling in pain. He too missed your presence. Jacaerys stood quietly, his face now older, the age of two and nine now making its way to his once youthful features. A tear fell upon his stoic face, he smiled as he saw a shooting star flash across the skies.

He vowed, knowing you could hear him. He believed it. He knew that every brush of wind that made itself known, was you. He knew that every time he flew across the skies, and he saw the skies filled with stars, was you.

"If the Gods have her, or to whom, protects her until we meet again. Please tell her, that when the sun goes down, I think of her. Please tell her, that I never once forgot the sound of her voice calling my name." He choked in his begging, "Please. To whoever has her, please let her know that she lives in my heart and that everywhere I go I will always, forever see her face."

A flower was left in the spot you were found years ago. As King Jacaerys Targaryen flew away, he softly reminded the wide skies that carried a love, "I love you, always and forever, till we meet again my love."

TAGLISTS:

jace nation (open): @thenotesapppoet @agqrtz @girlthatislost @writtenapoiogy @vividxpages @smurfelle @number-0-iz @star611 @intheheartoftheking @nixtape-foryou @velaryonbastard @still-jon-snow @ethereal-athalia natties angel list (open): @aemondvelaryon @peri4stral @yohanseyebrowmole mooties, slut cult: @cregnstark @divinesolas @hxtd @benjinotes @bucksplum @eldrith @princessbellecerise @xxselenite @bryscorner @vee-mage @v3lary0ns @swordgrace @housetargaryenloyalist @astrxq @manhandlememando

[annepi-blog]

Okay, I know I rarely write personal things here, but after this week I'm really not feeling well.

The outcome of the US election is just unbelievable, and even though I don't live in the US myself, it affects so much of the world and it scares me.

Then the government in my country practically dissolved on the same day, so there will probably be new elections in late winter/early spring. And the way the local elections went this year, it will be a win for the far right party.

Globally it doesn't matter to many, but personally I also have some feelings from the media I follow/consume.

I'm still mourning the cancellation of Dead Boy Detectives, which for me was one of the best queer shows in a long time. I hate that it was canceled for no real good reason. And it's just the tip of the iceberg of queer shows being canceled after 1-2 seasons, especially on Netflix but also on other streamers, even if they're well-received by the audience (if you're more interested, there's a GLAAD report on this).

Then the BuckTommy breakup. I'm not even deeply into the 911 fandom, but I thought it was so nice how this couple was built up, it felt like good queer representation. Don't get me wrong, I'm fine with couples I like not being endgame if the story makes sense. But in this case, so much pointed to a deeper storyline, especially after the Halloween episode. The writers and actors hinted that it would be a big story. And then they ruin it all in 2 minutes with bad writing?! Makes no sense to me. (If you are one of those people who hated against this couple, please do not interact with this post).

It doesn't help that I just finished reading "They Both Die at the End" the weekend before, a beautiful book, but also with a sad ending.

For me this week was just a lot, it just felt like queer rights and queer media are losing.

I even had a big success at work and I couldn't be happy about it, it was just... the world sucks anyway...

I hope I'll feel better after I get it all out here, even if everything seems bad right now.

Maybe one of you has a tip for fluffy and positive queer content, like Red White and Royal Blue or Heartstopper? I could use some cheering up.