#they make me physically unwell to think about actually like what the fuck

[certainlyathrill]

hey guys, quick question - what the fuck is their deal?

[pleaseshootthejester]

I don't eat all day and then my partner takes me out for dinner and we eat fish and chips and they're greasy and now it's 3am and I've not slept and my tummy hurty and I have lots of regret

[heylittleriotact]

So I can't stop sharing this after realizing it myself earlier... After Rook tells Emmerich that they're a virgin, during their dinner date, and he clearly processes what is a VERY unexpected fact to him, he tells them that's okay, and you 2 can just take things slowly. :) It's sweet, right? But also... Emmrich... how fast did YOU wanna take things? Because now this man's got me convinced he was SO down bad for Rook, he wasn't gonna waste time NOT hitting it now that they're together. I'm unwell

Okay so I actually really appreciate how ambiguous they left Rook and Emmrich's sexual relationship until the coffin scene in the third act: they wrote it such that the player could headcanon that they had an intimate relationship already leading up to that scene OR it was the first time they slept together, and I think that's AMAZING.

I headcanon that my Rook (not a virgin) and Emmrich slept together for the first time the night of the dinner date, and I think that he planned the night not with the intention of seducing Rook, but with the mindset that if they were interested in moving forward with the sexual aspect of their relationship, the privacy of the Necropolis might be a bit more relaxing that the Lighthouse. It's clear that Emmrich has pulled some strings to have the gardens roped off just for the purpose of their romantic dinner, he goes above and beyond with the meal, they have a very sweet conversation about their feelings and attraction to each other, mention previous dates (or lack of), and the whole thing ends with a fade to black.

... and I'm a romantic degenerate who sighs and stares dreamily into space while twirling my hair at the thought of them making love for the first time on a bed of soft flowers in the garden, illuminated by veilfire as wisps float lazily through the air... but I digress:

Since Emmrich trusts that Rook isn't pursuing him from a place of "charming flattery" I think he takes their new relationship incredibly seriously, and part of that is acknowledging the sexual aspect of it. He strikes me very much an actions over words kind of person (hence the charming flattery remark), and given their circumstances and what they're up against, facing danger, violence and the possibility of death on a daily basis (especially daunting for him), I feel like Emmrich would be very motivated to explore that aspect of the relationship as soon as Rook was comfortable with it.

He's also older, more experienced (even if Rook isn't a virgin), and gives off the vibe that he's extremely comfortable with sex and intimacy based on the banter he has with Davrin. I think he views physical intimacy as yet another way to express his feelings for Rook and show them how much they mean to him. This man isn't sure if they're going to see tomorrow, let alone next week: he's only got so much time to make sure that Rook knows how treasured they are, so that's going to include romantic dates, deep conversations, surprising them with thoughtful gifts, and making love as often as they can get away with it. Regardless of what comes next, he doesn't want Rook to doubt for a second how much they mean to him, but he puts the choice about sex squarely in their hands and will let them ultimately be the one who makes the call as to when they're ready to explore that.

Once their relationship begins, he appears to court Rook quite ardently, with enough enthusiasm that Harding takes notice and points out that he's been mopey and distracted lately, and goes so far as to suggest that perhaps he and Rook are taking things a little fast. Even he's aware that this is moving at quite a pace, and he's clearly worried about how other people will/might perceive that given their respective ages - he probably thinks that people think he's a dirty creepy old man: a besotted fool, but I don't think he could approach Rook any other way even if he tried.

There are no half measures with this man: once he's in, he is IN. He's not fucking playing: this isn't just a casual fling that he expects to end once this evanuris business is over. It's probably why he comes off as a bit guarded and hesitant to engage with Rook's earlier flirtations: he probably puts this amount of care, vulnerability, and passionate authenticity into ALL his romantic relationships, and has probably been hurt in the past because of it.

Anyway, this has become suuuuuper unnecessarily lengthy, but I have so many feelings about this man, and I am indeed unwell too.

[seraphdesire]

Regarding Donna Beneviento and her characterisation in the fandom, I think it's important to note that she really isn't the shy awkward adorable blushing mess that everyone depicts her as being.

This got long but I did a mildly extensive read on her character under the break! :)

Here are the notes I took a screencap of, written by Mother Miranda, which talks about the suitability of Donna being a vessel for Eva:

There's the evidence you need that she is severely mentally ill, so babying her just feels... wrong anyway, all things considered.

Note - "and has divided her Cadou among her dolls in order to control them from a distance." While I'm on my 3rd replay of re8 I still don't fully get how the Cadou works, but what I think is essentially happening is Donna is literally splitting off parts of herself and putting them in her dolls.

The main one being Angie, of course.

I always used to consider Angie a separate character entirely but she's linked deeply to Donna on a very personal level. Considering what she's like and what all the other dolls are like - loud, funny, sarcastic, rude, etc - and how Donna is literally the one directly controlling Angie (that's the only way she moves lol, because Donna is carrying her places. Which is also why, when you kill Angie, the illusion melts away to reveal that you've actually killed Donna), I think it's safe to say that's what her actual personality is like.

Also, her only spoken line of dialogue? Please listen to it. For those who are hard of hearing, like me, she says: "don't leave... I can't let you."

Bearing in mind the way she speaks? Her tone? She sounds confident imo. Determined. And perhaps even a little angry at Ethan for thinking he can escape her.

Just a last addition as well, can I say that her abilities as one of the Four Lourds is genuinely evil? Everyone else has physical intimidation - Alcina has her height and her claws and mutation, Heisenberg has his ability to control magnetic fields and metal, and Moreau can mutate into that huge fish-with-legs thing that vomits something akin to acid? Oh yeah and he can swallow you whole too.

Donna, on the other hand, doesn't have physical intimidation like that. She only has the threat of psychological damage (which makes sense considering she's severely mentally unwell). When Ethan goes through her gardens and has to solve the puzzles in the house, she makes him hallucinate about his wife whom he thinks is dead, and about his baby who is somewhere in this unknown country with a bunch of mutants who only have bad intentions.

It's even worse in the Shadows of Rose DLC imo. As Rose, Donna makes her hallucinate the bullies from back home, being called a freak and a weirdo, made to relive the worst moments of her life. And the puzzles too? Hell. Having to actually recreate the scenes of her bullying with wooden fucking dolls. I remember feeling really sorry for Rose while playing through that part.

And yet Donna is still "the uwu baby" because what? I don't know. People love to declaw female villains just because they're attractive (looking at Lady Dimitrescu here). They love to reduce the characters down to their looks and not consider their actual lore or background or the role they play in the franchise (looking at Leon especially...)

Which, ya know, of course people are allowed their headcanons for characters and Donna doesn't get enough screentime to really have her personality even thought of, let alone to be made canon. But I think it's fair to say that Angie and Donna are basically one and the same because they're literally the same Cadou.

This is a quick reminder that you are, of course, allowed to disagree with me. Everyone has their own opinions and that's fine. If you would like to politely debate about this in my comments or in my DMs, or even in my asks, then you're more than welcome to! Please remember debating and arguing are two different things though.

If it really irks you that bad then please scroll, it's not hard. If you don't want to do that then feel free to block me - the button is free of charge after all and should be used more to cultivate your feed to your liking.

[sweatervest-obsessed]

Feeling Unwell

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Reader (she/her pronouns)

WC: 1740

CW: Angst, illness, mentions of hospitals, satirical hatred of children, fluff, spencer being the best

a/n: Some fluff to bring you a brief intermission to your Kinktober readings.

Spencer Masterlist

The worst feeling in the world is waking up with a headache. 

Your head felt like a dance floor where ballerinas were doing their petit allegro warm ups, and there was no mercy. Every single sound filled your unopened eyes with fluff from a stuffed animal. 

The second worst feeling in the world was realizing that you couldn’t breathe through your nose, almost suffocating yourself from trying. 

“Maybe a tissue would help.” 

Not even opening your eyes, you use your hand to shove some part of your husband, playful, but grumpily. 

“Thanks, genius.” You grumbled, and curled further into yourself, yanking the blanket over with you. 

The man next to you let out a small, unserious, exclamation as the blanket that was once covering him was single-handedly yanked from his body. 

“Well good morning to you too.” 

You felt as he sat up, and properly woke up; most likely running his hands through his hair and putting on his glasses. 

Spencer then placed a hand on your hip, leaning over and kissing your head. “Morning baby.”

But before he could pull away, the heat coming off of your forehead was alarming, even to him. 

The feeling of his lips on your head was momentary bliss, even if it was psychosomatic. Anything Spencer did for you (or to you, if you know what I mean…) always felt good. Being cared for in a genuine way was a true testament to how much people can benefit from love: emotionally, spiritually, mentally, and yes, even physically. 

Spencer gently brushed aside some of the hair covering your temple, and kissed it again, this time with the full intent of taking your temperature. 

“Can I help you?” 

“Does your head hurt?” 

You snorted, but winced as you did, since you didn’t actually cause any sound. Your sinuses were so blocked up, that you ended up making your headache ten times worse.

And that was when the coughing started. 

Not being able to breathe through your nose meant that your chest already ached, but then all of a sudden you couldn’t breathe at all. Your ears both popped, and you could have sworn there was a constant ringing in your right ear. The coughing got worse before it got better, and it only got better because Spencer had jumped out of bed, run into the kitchen in just his briefs, and grabbed a glass of water for you to try and force down your throat. 

“Alright. We’re going to the doctors.” 

A moan of protest left your lips and as you moved to lay back down in the warmth of your own bed, where you could be unbothered by this random man who was insisting that you needed to get up, and go in public. 

“I know, I know baby.” He was now sitting on the edge of your side of the bed, and was running his thumb along your forehead. Your body involuntarily curled itself around his, and you sighed. 

“It’s like you hate me, and you want—”

A cough ripped through your sentence and your throat. 

If someone was walking by, they might have guessed that you were a chainsmoker of thirty years; a chimney of a woman. 

But, unfortunately, you had your guesses about where this mystery illness had come from. 

“Spence.” You managed to croak out. 

He hadn’t left your side, still rubbing his thumb across your head. “Yeah baby.” 

“I think that stupid twerp gave me his illness.” 

Spencer chuckled. “Who are you talking about?” 

“Remember…” You scooted impossibly closer to him, now able to rest your head on his thigh. “Remember that kid from the last case, the one who ended up having to go into the doctors because he was sick. I’d fucking…”

You paused, trying to catch your breath as you spoke. 

If you had to bet money, you’d place your entire net worth–plus your home and all your earthly possessions– that Spencer Reid was some sort of god from beyond comprehension since he was just sitting here, patiently waiting for you to finish your thought, even though it was taking you minutes to spit out one sentence. 

“He must’ve had some sort of stupid…stupid sickness. And I blame Hotch for making me be the one to sit with the kid.” 

Spencer hummed, a sign of support for your theory. 

“If that fucking kid gave me pneumonia or some shit—I’m gonna find him—”

“Alright there trigger happy.” He cut you off and kissed your head again. “I know it’s going to suck so much ass, but we need to go to urgent care because your cough and fever are really starting to worry me.”

“Who the hell even gets pneumonia in the summer anyways.” You grumbled to yourself, and you rolled onto your back, and slowly sat up; Spencer’s hand on your thigh the entire time. 

An anchor as your head sloshed around with illness. 

“I bet I look like a biblical depiction of famine.” 

That made Spencer crack a smile. 

“Glad you feel good enough to joke around about it.” 

“I actually feel like death. That kid’s made worms’ meat of me.” 

Spencer stood up, face filled with amusement. “Alright Shakespeare.”

You took his hand and slowly stood up. Eyes closed as the slight change in altitude made your eardrums pulse, and your head starts to spin. 

“Tomorrow you’ll find me a grave man.” You grumbled, leaning up against Spencer as the world decided to speed up its rotation by about a million. 

“I cannot believe you’re quoting Shakespeare at me while you can’t even stand up right now.” 

You cracked a smile, eyes still closed. “I’ve always liked Mercutio—a man making puns even as he’s dying—that’s my kinda guys.” 

After standing still, in silence, for the next two minutes, you were able to open your eyes and look over at Spencer. “I love you.” 

It was soft, but earnest. 

How lucky were you to have someone who just spent the past fifteen minutes patiently waiting by your side, to get you out of bed so he could take you to the doctors office because you weren’t feeling well. He could have just let you stew in bed, and take the day to be ill at your home. But instead, he sat with you, got you water when you almost died first thing in the morning, and now is your literal crutch as you move to the bathroom, so you could at least brush your teeth. 

You’ll be damned if you don’t at least brush your teeth before going out in public. 

The thought of it almost made you feel worse than what you were feeling now. 

You were awake enough that your body was starting to fight the illness in real time, meaning Spencer had left your side to quickly get dressed. 

He was back by your side a few minutes later, letting you take your time in the bathroom with your morning routine. In his hands was one of your favorite crewnecks to lounge around the house in, and the matching sweatpants. Snoopy around the ankle, and Snoopy and Woodstock across your chest. Something about the Peanuts characters being there made them a little bit comfier. 

“You’re going to deck me out in Snoopy to go to Urgent Care?” 

Spencer nodded and placed them on the counter. “If we end up being there for a while, you’d die in a pair of jeans. Don’t even try to pretend like you were going to put a bra on either” 

“How did a girl get so lucky?” You hummed, and leaned against him again. His arms wrapping around you as your body relaxed every so slightly.

“I have several degrees, including three Phds. That makes me a doctor, and as such, I’m educated well enough to know the perfect woman when I see her. Anyone who doesn’t agree with me, clearly doesn’t have the degree to back up their points.” 

You squeezed him briefly, before pulling away slightly, still encircled in his arms. “We;; Doctor Reid, I can’t argue with a professional. But I must say, your professional opinion is skewed.” 

Spencer kissed your head and shrugged. He went to say some sort of snarky rebuttal, but you interrupted him with yet another coughing fit. 

You had never been to the Sahara desert before, but you could assume this is what it felt like if you were in the middle of it and had accidentally swallowed gallons of sand while the driest wind passed through you. 

Spence just rubbed his hand along your back, waiting for the fit to end. 

Once it had, your body had started to lose some of the initial fervor you had managed to gain from waking up. “Spence, I think I need to just lay down for a while…”

“No.” He shook his head. “You have to put those clothes on and then we’re going to the doctor. I know you want to lay down babygirl, but the sooner we get you medicated, the better.” 

Then he started to talk about breakfast, and your stomach lurched. “The thought of food makes me want to die. It’s not happening right now.” 

Spencer went to speak but you cut him off. “Babe. I will get dressed, and we can go to the hospital, but I’m not hungry. I’m not going to eat, and you’re not going to force me because the thought makes me feel even worse. Deal?” 

He sighed and ran a hand through his hair. 

“Deal Spence?” 

Spencer just looked at you, and his resolve crumbled a bit. This was your best effort as a compromise. Every single atom you were comprised of made you want to collapse to the ground and enjoy the feeling of no longer being upright. But you were trying for him. He just had to compromise. 

“Deal.” He sighed. “We’re leaving in five okay?” 

“Aye Aye captain.” You placed a kiss on his cheek, not wanting to spread whatever you had to his lungs, and grabbed your clothes. 

Eventually, when you later found out that the kid witness from the previous case had given you viral pneumonia, your resentment for the little twerp grew even more, even resulting in a statement that you were 

“Never going to fucking have kids ever.” 

The statement made Spencer laugh as the two of you drove back home, meds in hand, and fresh hatred of ‘snot nosed children’ in the air. 

[vivaciouscynner]

I began reading Gideon the Ninth again - i dunno, it's like the 6th reread so far. And It's actually a good thing that I read digital copies because if I had the physical book, I'd literally take a bite like a sandwich. Like an actual bite with my teeth. It drives me so insane that I'd be motivated to keep going as my gums bleed trying to saw through the cardboard covers (yeah, I'd buy hard cover) and violently grunting until my upper central incisors meet my lower. Like wtf has this book done to me.

"Oh, Griddle! But I don't even remember about you most the time!" I've been internally screaming about this line. Violently screaming because the book is almost completely centered around this lie. It's not even the end where it's all revealed so bluntly with "I am undone without you!" but literally the same chapter where she explains, "I got more hot and bothered digging all night."

OH YEAH, I BARELY THINK ABOUT YOU, I JUST THOUGHT TO, YOU KNOW, DIG THROUGH PACKED DIRT WITH MY BARE FUCKING HANDS ALL GODDAMN NIGHT SO THAT I NEVER SEE YOU LEAVE. BECAUSE YOU LEAVING WILL UNMAKE ME, BUT YOU KNOW... LIKE... AN AFTERTHOUGHT... YOU GET IT

There are so many one liners where I just have to put the book down for a bit and pace around the room manically.

This book makes me so unwell and yet - AND YET - I'm like, "gee what happens on the NEXT page!"

[impala124]

Bad Buddy Ep 6

My thoughts on Ep 1 | Ep 2 | Ep 3 | Ep 4 | Ep 5

Me, at the end of this episode:

Something about the way Pran buttoned his shirt all the way up to the collar, like it's suffocating for him to share space with Pat for the first time since their rooftop kiss, is making me unwell.

Why is Pat's father on my screen? I do not like that man. He makes Pran uncomfortable and I can't allow that. Why does Pran make himself look small when interacting with Pat's dad? Is it just his way of showing respect for an elder or is there something more?

"We know how it's going to end; isn't it better not to start at all?" Pran, bestie, are we still talking about music here? It hasn't escaped me that Pran is leaving the guitar with Wai after Pat kept it with him for 3 years before returning it to Pran. I just hope Pat doesn't find out about this.

Now, What is Pran's mom deal? You're on a timeout along with Pat's dad. Go sit in the corner for a while.

Pa is a child of (PatPran's) divorce at this point. She has to put up with Pat wreaking havoc in his room with the drums.

Pa out her assuming that everyone likes Ink because she likes her. Understandable, bestie, but you're way off in this case.

Pat following Pran to the architecture faculty volunteer camp strengthens my belief that Pat is just a lost puppy following Pran around.

The irony of Pran ignoring Pat by using the earphones that Pat gave him isn't lost on me.

Pran hasn't counted on Pat's pesky persistence. I'm cheering you on, Pat; make Pran go off-kilter.

Now, let's all thank Uncle Tong for coming up with these activities at a volunteer camp and divine intervention for actually pairing them together.

PAT USED HIS HAND TO PROTECT PRAN'S HEAD FROM THE FALL.

Wai is officially on my shit list. Why is he being so damn possessive of Pran? Pran can make his own choices, and if he weren't comfortable with Pat lying on him, I can't imagine why he wouldn't be, he can take care of himself.

Pat, bestie, I love how brazen you are, and I appreciate it.

Pran saying, "Someone like him will quit bothering us when he has had enough," in relation to Pat, and Pat coming with a chair to settle between Pran and Wai is just too fucking funny.

Now, Pran is being the physical embodiment of "My having feelings for you has nothing to do with you. Don't talk to me."

Pat is using the child, Junior, as their unofficial couple's counselor.

So, the trip to the market counts as a date, right? Glad we agree on that. Even the vendor thinks that they look cute together.

PLAYING IN THE WATER TOGETHER!!! This episode is a gift that keeps on giving. The conversation by the beach.

Okay, but what did Pat do to have Pran transferred from the school? I get his anger at his mom, but what did Pat do other than be a part of the band?

I love how, although there isn't any direct mention of homophobia (yet) in the show, their (familial & faculty) rivalry, that they didn't ask for but was imposed on them, feels like an allegory for it.

Without people around, I can sit next to you just fine. But when there's other people, talking to you feels like amatter of life and death. What can we do? We were just born this way.

OMG. Their hands touched, and Pran didn't pull away!!!!

I'm not even mad about the product placements, and that's how you know the show got me hooked.

Wai and Pat sharing a room will be interesting for sure. I don't trust him, though; he looks like he's planning to hurt my boy.

I love how Pat has zero chill, just bulldozing his way to Pran.

Wai, you fucking asshole, who do you think you are?? Pran, save your man!!!

And he does. Pran's on-the-spot lore cooking skills need to be taught in school. It's a survival skill if I'm being honest. He wasn't lying, though. His first love did fall in love. WITH HIM.

Pat CAUGHT Pran's hand and stopped him from leaving. ASFFGHDGJ—

Oh, nothing to see here, just a pair of lying liars sitting by the beach and lying to each other.

Pat's face lit up like a Christmas tree when he heard Pran say It is so obvious that you like me.

Gotta love Pat's tenacity and how he maneuvered Pran into being the recipient of his flirting.

Everything's gotta be a competition with these two. However, in this scenario, both of them are going to win and have fun along the way.

Let the (flirting) games begin!!!

Pran's definition of flirting is licking Pat's finger. SIT WITH THAT INFORMATION!! Pran, my beloved, you are a fucking menace for pulling the big guns out this early in the game!!

Tagging the usual suspects: @shortpplfedup, @incandescentflower, @starryalpacasstuff, @7nessasaryevils, @greenteadumplings, @grapejuicegay, @madworld-bbs, @usodeshou. If anyone wishes to be tagged in the future, let me know.

[dontbesoweirdkira]

For a cunty request can I have a time traveler reader with any of mafia? Maybe Vico or Tommy?

A/N: oh this is going to be hilarious! Thank you for requesting…stay cunty😘✨ (hopefully I did your idea some justice. I didn’t entirely know what scenario you wanted so just some general thoughts)

Warnings: ⚠️a little bit of Joe Barbaro ⚠️

Masterlist

Requests: open 24/7

I’ve chosen Vito because have you ever seen those memes where it’s like, “a victorian child would probably have an aneurysm over this”, yeah…that would be Tommy if you appeared in his timeline

Like that man is stressed the hell out enough! Don’t go ruining his life further with your shenanigans.

Besides Vito would definitely take this far better than anyone else with the exception of the characters from mafia iii. My brother has been to prison, shipped out to war, and now suddenly in the mob…he’s definitely seen some unspeakable shit..

Every soldier has at least one paranormal experience…for him it just happened to be your dumb ass.

He’s not amused by you in the slightest at first..what the fuck is an iPhone and why are you dressed like an idiot? Are you high on something or just unwell?????

“Look Lady, I really don’t have time for this shit and I have places to be. If you need something there’s a Salvation Army right down the block..”

Of course you keep persisting that you’re perfectly fine and that you’re actually from the future. I can just imagine Vito speed walking away with an exasperated expression plastered across his face; you're just continuing to spew nonsense as you follow him.

“I-I don’t want to hear you talk about your fucking bullshit future! Please just go away.”

This man’s blood pressure is through the roof at this point. He’s even trying to physically shoo you away, if it wasn’t for his background he would’ve taken you to the police department.

“Okay do you want a dollar? Huh, will that make you finally stop yapping?? Actually, here take 20 and go away.”

Eventually he just gives up. You’re the most hard headed individual he’s ever encountered and he let’s you follow him. You’re obviously not giving this up.

Partly thinks this is some kind of prank Joe set up to get back at him.

So naturally his first instinct is go go find Joe because if he has to hear the crazy shit you’re spewing, so does he.

Worst. Mistake. Ever.

At first Joe is also trying to get you to leave his buddy alone. Even offering you money just like Vito did earlier but then a light bulb goes off!

Joe’s main mission in life is to piss off Vito and for him…golden opportunity right here for free.

“Sooo…Y/N was it? Tell me, if you are from the future, will Vito always be this fugly?”

“Oh shut the hell up for once would ya? This is a serious situation we have on our hands and you think this is the time to be making jokes??”

“Maybe not fugly but he will end up being a grumpy old man with no wife or kids.”

Joe absolutely loves you and you’re now besties

“Oohhhh no. You two will not be in cahoots!! Joe stop fucking around.”

Don’t worry, Vito eventually comes around to you. He kind of has to now that Joe is riding this thing so hard.

Neither one of them truly believes you though. At least not at first. It’s kind of difficult to prove until the event you’re warning them about actually comes to pass.

You are able to tell them extremely detailed facts and information about themselves and the mafia. You warn them about Henry and give tips about different tasks.

This made them suspicious of you and blew you off as some kind of narc for knowing so damn much. It wasn’t until things started becoming true, they came running right back to you.

They’re both feeling a mixture of excitement, concern and confusion.

Joe doesn’t understand that you only know main historical events and wants you to give him the winning numbers to the lottery.

Vito on the other hand thinks you’re some sort of crazy psychic or maybe one of them aliens from the film he had just seen.

Either way you’re definitely not from here.

Ultimately Vito doesn’t entirely know how to handle all of this. I don’t think anyone would ever be able to fully process this happening. After all you’ve predicted and protected him from, he just accepts that you’re who you say you are.

You’re not a threat to him and Joe seems to really enjoy having you around so I guess he doesn’t really mind you either. He lets you stay at his place too. It’s the least he could do after all your help and the shit he gave.

At least you’re not as bad as that kid, Marty.

[solitudeandseclusion]

SPOILERS. ALL of my thoughts while watching love next door ep 9 (i don't think i've done this since crash course in romance)

every time i see a new love next door episode is longer than the last one, i feel more alive. let's feast.

in most (almost all) kdramas i've watched till date, they don't really show intimacy between an ex-couple, especially no kissing (marry my husband is a recent example). even in flashbacks. love next door at least has some physical affection which is nice to see. seokryu really seemed happy with hyeonjun in the past.

seunghyo being all chivalrous is indeed weird to witness, but i guess he's trying. also the car he drives is ugly af (i guess i'm chatty today 😂).

god, the loneliness of being in another country and not being able to tell your parents about your health issues.

at least seunghyo is still a bit objective even when he's jealous. jung mo-eum, ily you're a great wingman. your love story is gonna be fun.

SHE STILL CAN'T TELL HER PARENTS. THAT HOUSE IS NO GOOD FOR HER!! and now she's feeling sick again :/

ooh choi seunghyo's parents romancing a bit. LOVE IT. lmao the difference between them eating that ramyeon. i hope their past wasn't too ugly 🙈

dramatic ass seunghyo screaming for that milk carton. boy, you already have a photo of the thing, that carton is not so important. desperate loser you're never in the office to care of that tree 😭😭

WHEN WILL THEY ADDRESS THAT HYEONJUN CHEATED???? CAN HE STOP ASKING HER TO GET BACK WITH HIM??

look i love seokryu to bits but she was rude to negate seunhyo's feelings like that. i know there must a reason but it's hurtful. and i'm glad my boy said it.

you can't convince me that danho DIDN'T know what he was doing with that t-shirt. poor mo-eum lol. really really enjoying seokryu's knowing look when she looks at mo-eum praising dan-ho.

oh fuck off chris. i am glad she beat you up & you got fired.

oh so hyeonjun didn't cheat. but i don't like his attitude with her anymore. i get it, it's hard to be with someone who is depressed. i wish they could've talked it out instead of letting it fester and him then blowing up in her face. but well, that's how it goes.

she's rejecting love entirely noooo i'm gonna kms. i hope she gets better pls pls pls.

i don't ever care about anyone's occupations in a kdrama but i have to say seunghyo is a good boss. oh now i see why he was so mad at the end of ep 6. seokryu really does drive him to madness so much so that he is actually unwell.

the child actors are so good. (the last time i was so happy with child actors was in the good bad mother). AARRGHHH. his mother is always away from him and seokryu is always by his side all through his childhood. and now when his feelings for seokryu are making him sick, he sees his mother. OH now seokryu's there too. both women the bane of his existence at different points in his life.

aww my lovely mo-eum being so awkward lmao. every interaction between her and kang danho makes me happy.

ohh so seunghyo's mom wasn't really there then? nooo don't look into her stuff, that's rude. nooo seokryu don't brush it off girl wth? he is DEVASTATED. no great now i'm crying. GIVE ME EPISODE 10 NOW.

[emilybahu]

Just a culmination of thoughts I had and moments I liked during 7x06:

This ended up being MUCH longer than an expected, I just kept adding things to it! So you totally don’t need read the whole thing just skim through if you want…

1. Maddie about a minute away from a panic attack, but still looking stunning✨

2. Hen looks like she’s gonna go all angry mom mode on Buck and Eddie, who are looking ROUGH… she gives them a look that should put the fear of god into anyone!

3. You know, I just wanted them to have one major milestone that didn’t involve one or both of them being in danger, but NOOOO! We don’t even know where Chimney is and Buck and Eddie are a complete hit mess! Evan “✨it’s complicated✨” Buckley.

4. Oh my god I love Buck and Eddie and their shared brain cell so much! Their bickering is hilarious! Buck slapping Eddie’s hand away from the sliders and later Eddie saying, “reach for them and you’ll be pulling back a bloody stump!” 🤣🤣🤣

5. RAVI WHAT ARE YOU DOING, DO YOU WANT TO DIE!? 🤣

6. “Wholesome 80s themed karaoke” and Eddie proposing that he and Buck go as Crockett and Tubbs.

7. I kinda figured Chimney wouldn’t show seeing as HE DIDN’T WANT A PARTY. Then everyone leaves and it’s JUST Buck and Eddie, because of course!

8. And back to Buck and Tommy again… Tommy has to go and put out a LITERAL fire and we get a second Buck/Tommy hug in the span of like 3 minutes! I’m getting FED they are so cute and soft, and Tommy really doesn’t want to leave but has no choice… the soft hug and “be safe” I’m sorry my heart is melting! 🫠❤️

9. Buck and Eddie are just having A TIME with all these random people, and of course being the touch starved boys they are, you get a little (a lot) of alcohol in em they obviously need to have physical contact at all times! 🤣

10. Drunk Buck being like “we don’t have a key🥺” and Drunk Eddie “you don’t need a key,” (hand on shoulder, thumb on pulse point) “we’re fire fighters👨‍🚒😈” continues to kick in the door!

11. CHAOS ENTERS THE BUILDING, I couldn’t stop laughing! Honestly I didn’t realize Buck and Eddie could party this hard! Buck wakes up on the floor, Eddie’s in the bath tub (a shirt? What’s that? Never heard of it) and Chimney is FUCKING NO WHERE TO BE FOUND! 😬

12. Cut to Maddie desperately trying to get ahold of Chimney and track him down, but he’s somewhere in his car dazed, confused and clearly UNWELL! And his car gets freaking stolen!

13. The dinner celebrating Kevin’s life 🥲

14. Gosh dang it, everyone in the room together worried about Chimney, god my heart! I hope they find him soon!

15. Maddie showing up at the dispatch center in her wedding dress! The woman means business! SHE GONNA FIND HER MAN!

16. Doug, DOUG!? What are you doing torturing Chimney in his subconscious!? No one wants you here!

17. Seeing Maddie’s reaction to Chimney in this state is heartbreaking! She just wants to make sure he’s ok, but he’s clearly not!😢

18. Bruh, we keep getting jump scared by Doug, I’m so DONE with that guy!

19. Time jump to two weeks earlier… “telling Buck ‘no’ is like telling a dog not to jump your leg” just more proof that Buck is a man with the soul of a golden retriever puppy…🤣

20. Bobby saying “well evidently our two love birds over there were enjoying some sexy time, when they heard some weeping” had me wheezing! 😂

21. When they figured out what was wrong with Chimney I got so scared, even though I knew he’d likely be fine. Never know what might happen though…

22. When Chimney’s paramedic skills kicked back in it gave me hope, then he saw Doug again… and still didn’t remember that he’s actually a paramedic.

23. He knows he needs to be somewhere and he hears Buck calling for him, Chimney knows they’re looking for him, then freaking Doug makes him almost give up fighting! 🥲

24. NO DOUG🙄 MADDIE DIDN’T FUCKING LIKE BEING ABUSED!

25. KEVIN🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹 Kevin telling Chimney he NEEDS to get up and get help!

26. Maddie in the hospital with Chimney, thinking he doesn’t remember her then him saying “I’m sorry I missed our wedding” GOD MY HEART!

27. Jee running in yelling “daddy!” 🥹

28. “We always get back to each other somehow” please! My heart can’t handle this! They’re meant to be!!🥹😭

29. “I know Kevin is smiling right now” “yeah he is” I can’t breathe! I’m shocked I didn’t cry!

30. Just the whole ceremony, Bobby officiating! Everyone so happy for them together after this day they’ve had! I’m just gonna melt into a puddle of pure emotion! 🥹🥺

31. I love them. I love them! I LOVE THEM!!!!!❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

32. Buck looking down at his phone to see that Tommy told him he’s there 🤭🤭

33. I made a whole post about this kiss, ahhhhhh!! (My reaction remains the same every time I watch it, I lose control of my limbs, my voice gets all high and squeaky, and I lose the ability to form actual words) The damn 10 second scene still has me SHOOK! 😆🫨

34. Buck pulling Tommy into the room, Tommy apologizing for missing the ceremony and Chimney looking up at him and over to Buck and saying “Thanks tommy, looks like you were… busy” (I didn’t even think about how long Buck was gone before, but since they had time to cut and serve cake to everyone Buck had to be just in another world with Tommy for at least 20 minutes…)

35. Hen’s face when she realizes that Buck and Tommy totally were just making out! And Eddie being the supportive king of a bff that the is!

36. The Buckley parents faces… I’ll be ready to throw hands in a second if they say something homophobic later on!

37. Hen saying “well it’s about damn time” to Karen!! Ahhhhhh! Girlllll!!! Are telling me you could see Buck’s raging bisexuality THE WHOLE TIME!? 😆😆😆😆 She so CLOCKED HIM!

38. Chimney feels right at home anywhere if he and Maddie are together!! ❤️🫠🥹

39. Not them mentioning the cruise ship!! Too soon, too soon! 🫠 But I also laughed!😂

40. “So, were Buck and Tommy a thing before my amnesia?” “Um yeah, actually they were.” (Still trying to figure out how much time there was between the coffee date and the wedding… I have no clue. [Please can someone tell me!?])

41. “Why do they call me Chimney?” And cut to black…. Really, REALLY!? That was cruel, so rude. They’re never gonna tell us why they call him Chimney are they?

And that’s the end!

[thegamingcatmom]

Don't worry about not understanding my rambles!! It was a bunch of stuff that just randomly came to my mind!

As for the ask I will try my best to reword it 😂

I was thinking of a moment where (if you had siblings) you guys get into a fight and someone pulls the "MOM" card to get the other into trouble! Or pulling a "Moom *name* is bothering me" like an annoying sibling!!

Would MC use that card if one of the girls are messing with her?? Maybe using it playfully? And how would each sister react to the situation? How would Tanya react if Irina was called to help MC get her away!

-💙

Hey again! 😊

Oh, that's totally fine, really! Rambling is what I do best as well, so I totally get you there. 😅

Thanks for sending me another ask and clearing things up for me though, much appreciated! ❤️

RIGHT, so-

Yes, no doubt about it, LMAO.

Not sure which universe we're talking, but I think it's safe to say that MC would defo make use of the hold she has over them all in just about ANY universe, that lil minx.

(She learns from the best, what did yall expect?)

Most times, it's Carmen's name that leaves her lips whenever things don't go her way someone is bothering her. Carmen is Momma, and MC is basically the baby of the family. She gotta protect her baby cause she's smol and vulnerable and very fragile. 😤

.

(The Sisters)

MC: "Give it back."

Kate: "Come and get it."

MC: "...Give.It.Back"

Kate: "...Come.And.Get.It."

MC: "..."

Kate: "..."

MC: *takes a deep breath*

Kate: *realizes a moment too late what´s going on and is helpless to stop what´s coming*

MC, on the top of her lungs (which is entirely unnecessary considering they're all vampires but MC doesn't know which makes it even more hilarious): "CARMEEEEEN!"

Kate, scream-whispers in horror as her hand flies to cover MC´s mouth: "SHHH!"

MC, muffled: "MOU PFFF!"

Carmen, in the distance: "Mi amor?!"

Kate, under her breath: "Fuck..."

MC: 🫢+😏

*The sound of quick (but not too quick, lest MC gets…suspicious) footsteps echoes from the second floor, drawing steadily closer.*

Kate: *closes her eyes in agony*

MC: 🫢+😏

Carmen: *hurries down the stairs*

Kate: *mentally prepares for the inevitable, eyes still closed*

MC: 🫢+😏

Also MC: *starts licking-*

Kate, eyes flying open: "WHAT THE-"

Kate: *snaps her hand back as if burned*

MC: 😏

...Kate: *regrets her decision right after because that was actually kinda hot-*

MC, who notices the sudden glint in Kate´s eyes and knows exactly what it means: 😏...🤨...😑

Carmen: *rounds the corner-*

MC, as soon as Carmen comes into view: 😑 -> 🥺

Kate, torn between annoyance and pride at the cunning devil that stands before her: "...You little shi-"

Carmen, almost on autopilot as she makes a beeline for MC: "Language, Katrina."

Kate: *spluttering*

MC: 🥺

MC, internally: 😏

Carmen: *wastes no time checking MC for injuries, hands and eyes flying over her body before anyone can even utter a word*

Carmen, once she´s made 100% sure MC isn´t in danger of dropping on the spot: "What is it, my dear? Are you feeling unwell? Do you require medical attention?"

Carmen: *tenderly cradles MC´s face with both hands*

MC, sniffling a bit: "No, I´m alright."

MC: *pauses for dramatic effect*

MC: "...Physically."

Kate, groaning in utter disbelief: "Oh my god-"

Carmen, shushing her without turning around: "Katrina."

Kate: *muttering under her breath (something about "not fair" and "can´t believe this is happening")*

MC: *some more sniffling*

Carmen, still concerned: "What do you mean by that, mi amor?"

MC: *glances over Carmen´s shoulder at Kate*

Kate: 🙏🥺

MC: "..."

MC: *starts lifting her arm-*

Kate: 🙏🥺

MC: *lifts it further-*

Kate: 🙏🥺

MC: *and further-*

Kate: 🙏🥺

MC: *until it´s stretched out all the way, finger pointing right at-*

Carmen, whose eyes have followed her arm: "...Katrina?"

Kate: "..."

MC, behind Carmen: 😈

Kate: 💀

Carmen: "Katrina, what is the meaning of this?"

Kate, panics: "...It´s not what it looks like-"

MC, still pointing her finger: "LIES!!"

Kate, who doesn´t respond well to facts: "NO, YOU!"

MC: "NO, YOU!"

Kate: "NO! Y-"

Carmen: "Girls."

MC: "..."

Kate: "..."

Carmen, eerily calm: "Now...will one of you tell me what the problem is?"

Kate: "..."

MC: "..."

Carmen, using her last resort: "...Alright, I will get Tanya then-"

MC: "Kate stole my Gingerbread Sheep...again!"

Kate: *muttering under her breath (something about "that snitch")*

Carmen: *sighs in great disappointment cause they´ve been over this...multiple times*

Carmen: "Katrina...give it back."

Kate: *still grumbling*

Carmen, not having any of it: "Now."

Kate: *emits the most dramatic sigh in history*

Carmen: *The Look*

Kate: "...Fine! Here-"

Kate: *pulls the abomination out from between her boobs and throws the ugly thing back...with a lot more force than necessary*

MC, the drama queen: *cries out in pain as the plush thing hits her right in the forehead*

Carmen, appalled: "Katrina!"

Kate, in disbelief at this shitshow: "...Are you kidding me?! That thing is made of cotton-"

Carmen, not having any of it: "That is not the point and you know it."

Kate: *muttering under her breath (something about "I know that´s bs")*

Carmen: "I heard that."

Kate: *more grumbling...but quietly*

MC: *picks up the abomination and holds it close like a kid would its favorite plush animal*

MC: 🧸🥰

Carmen: 🥰

Kate: 😑

Carmen: *checks her watch*

Carmen: "Oh, will you look at the time! What do you say, dear - shall we prepare some lunch for you?"

MC: 😇 "Yes, please."

Carmen, swooning: "So polite. Let us hope some of it will rub off on Katrina..."

Kate: *splutters in indignation*

Carmen: "Come then, mi amor."

Carmen: *leads MC out of the room with a hand between her shoulder blades*

Kate: *stares after them in disbelief*

MC: *turns around just before rounding the corner*

Kate: "..."

MC: ...😎🖕

Kate: 👁️👄👁️

.

Sooo, I think it´s safe to say that one should never underestimate their hooman...

Also: Tanya and Irina would have a similar reaction, I think. At least when it comes to Carmen. It´s just...you just don´t mess with that woman. Not because she might become physical or anything. Heavens no. Carmen wouldn´t hurt a fly.

It´s the aura. She enters a room and you just wanna make her happy. I don´t make the rules. 🤷🏻‍♀️

And in case any of you are wondering: Yes, the Gingerbread Sheep is a reference to the unsightly thing from Chapter 2. 🤭

But also, I´ve just realized-

That is literally them here. PLEASE. 😭

.

As for Tanya´s reaction to Irina coming to MC´s aid:

I assume we´re talking The Sisters universe? Because in the "normal" universe Irina wouldn´t hesitate to come get her baby obv. And Tanya knows this.

Irina might be the baby sister, but she's got...personality. Only Kate would be foolish brave enough to poke the (Momma) bear. 🐻😅

In The Sisters though? Well, let's just say nobody quite expected...tbh? I don't even know- 💀

.

Tanya, the horndog: *swaggers into the room*

MC, sitting on the couch: *already done af*

Tanya: *sits down on the same couch...very close indeed*

MC: *scoots away*

Tanya: *scoots right after her*

MC: *scoots a bit further*

Tanya: *scoots right after her*

MC: *stands up and walks the short distance to the opposite couch, about to sit down-*

MC: "FUCK-"

*...Only to jump up again in fright when her bum meets rock cause Tanya, having used her super speed, has already taken that exact seat.*

MC: *turns to face her in indignation*

MC: "Excuse you?!"

Tanya, innocent puppy eyes: "Hm?"

MC: "I was going to sit there."

Tanya, confused (and fake) af: "...What is stopping you, love?"

MC: 😑

Tanya: 😇

MC: *stomps over to the first couch, turns around, makes to sit-*

Tanya, still on the other couch: 😇

MC, paranoid af: *keeps her eyes firmly on Tanya as her bum starts to lower in slow-mo*

Tanya, still on the other couch: 😇

MC: *bum has almost landed*

Tanya, still on the other couch: 😇

MC: *bum has finally landed*

Tanya, still on the other couch: 😇

MC, suspicious af cause that was way too easy: 👀

Tanya: 😇

Also Tanya: *gets up, walks over to the far end of the first couch, turns around, makes to sit-*

MC: *starts to sweat*

Tanya: *bum lowers*

MC: "..."

Tanya: *lowers further*

MC: "..."

Tanya: *almost sitting at this point*

MC: "..."

...Tanya, one second later: 😇...😈

MC, in horror: "Oh, fu-"

MC: *scrambles to get up-*

Tanya: *sits down with such force that the other end of the couch lifts off the ground - exactly the end where MC is sitting*

MC: "FUCK!"

MC: *tumbles down the couch before landing square in Tanya´s lap, throwing her arms around her on instinct to hold onto something...what a coincidence*

Tanya: 🥰

MC: *still recovering from her involuntary takeoff*

Tanya, mind already on other things entirely: "My...you certainly do not waste any time, do you, poppet?"

MC: *indignant spluttering*

Irina: *enters the room and stops in her tracks at the sight of her leader and the Stray wrapped around each other*

MC: 👁️👄👁️

Tanya: 🥰

Irina: *opens her mouth, then closes it again after a moment, opting instead to shake her head, wondering how this has become her life*

MC: 💀

Tanya: 🥰

Irina: *slowly makes her way over to get her book that she's left on the other couch, avoiding any and all eye contact*

MC: 💀

Tanya: 🥰

Irina: *has arrived at the other couch, grabs her book, turns around, makes the grave mistake of making eye contact with MC-*

MC, with her eyes: *HELP ME*

Irina: "..."

MC: 🥺

Irina, actually considering: 🤔

MC, who can't believe her luck: 😲🤩

Irina: *remembers she hates the human*

Irina: "...Anyway, I'll be in my room-"

MC, panics: "WAIT-"

Tanya: *is confusion because MC has never addressed Irina directly before*

Irina: *is confusion too, but hides it well under all that scorn*

Irina: "...What?"

MC: *panics because she never thought Irina would actually listen*

MC, at a loss for words: "I..."

Irina, already regretting her choice: 😑

Tanya, still confused af: ❓👀❓

MC, who is malfunctioning: 💀

Irina, done with this shit: "...Right, if that is all-"

Irina: *turns around*

MC, panics even more: "WAIT!"

Irina: *grumbles under her breath (something about "why me") before slowly turning back around*

A few seconds of tense silence pass...

...Tanya: ❓👀❓

...Irina: 😑

...MC: 💀

Irina, truly done at this point: "Either you SPEAK this instant, mortal, or-"

MC, in her panic: "W-What´s your skincare routine?"

...Tanya & Irina: ���❓❓

MC: *dies inside*

Irina: *discreetly takes a look around as if looking for hidden cameras*

Also Irina, after she´s made 100% sure that this is, in fact, painfully real: "...My skincare routine?"

MC: *slow nodding, as if she isn´t quite sure herself*

Tanya: ❓👀❓

Irina: "..."

MC, starting to sweat: "Yknow cause...your skin looks so...I-I mean-"

Irina: "...?"

Tanya, not liking where this is going: ❓🤨❓

MC: *swallows*

MC: "So...p-perfect..."

Tanya, definitely not liking where this is going: ❓😤❓

Irina: *torn between annoyance and...something else*

Irina: "..."

MC: 🥲

...

Irina: *muttering under her breath (something about "can´t believe I´m doing this")*

Irina, emitting the greatest sigh in history: "I...use water."

MC: *nods in a way that is much too violent for the situation at hand*

Irina: "...And moisturizer."

MC: *nods in a way that is much too violent for the situation at hand*

Irina, remembers she's supposed to act somewhat human: "...Some sunscreen, depending on...the weather."

MC: *nods in a way that is much too violent for the situation at hand*

Irina: "..."

MC: *sweating again*

MC: "That´s...wow, I mean...wow-"

Tanya: *much too focused on feeling betrayed to notice none of this makes fucking sense*

Irina: *painfully aware none of this makes fucking sense*

Irina: "...Right, if that is all-"

Irina: *starts to turn around again*

Tanya: *starts to calm down...barely*

MC: "WAIT!"

Irina: "..."

Tanya: *betrayal 2.0*

Irina, about to lose it: "...What?"

...

MC: "...Can you show me?"

Tanya: *indignant spluttering*

Irina, unsure if she´s heard correctly: "...What?"

MC: 😅

Irina: "..."

MC: 💀

Irina: "...Show you?"

MC: *slow nodding*

Irina: "..."

MC: "I...it´s just...I think you´re...b-beautiful."

Irina: "..."

Tanya: *eye starts twitching*

MC, realizing how this sounds: "YOUR SKIN. I-I mean your skin is quite...beautiful. And I would like to have...beautiful skin too. Because yours is really...beautiful. So...yeah."

Irina: *torn between disbelief and...other things*

Tanya: *brain.exe has stopped working*

MC: 🥲

Irina, who just wants this torture to end: "...Fine."

MC: 👁️👄👁️

MC, in disbelief: "...Really??"

Irina: *says nothing in return, merely turns around to finally leave the room, mentally preparing herself for what´s to come*

...

MC: *unsure of how to proceed from here, was that a yes or-"

Irina, in the distance: "This century, mortal."

MC: *moves at a speed that would stun even a vampire, in fact-*

...A few seconds later:

Tanya: *realizes only now that her arms are painfully empty*

Also Tanya:

Honestly? I have no idea.

.

.

.

Btw, if I might ask: Are you my "frosted anon"? I got an ask sitting in my drafts that used the blue heart as well, so I thought I'd ask. No pressure to answer though! Just curious. 😊

Thanks a lot for your ask! 💋

[sideblogdotjpeg]

hello unfortunately i thought even more about sol + swag as an analogy for being asian and it is . making me unwell. i am putting it under the cut for the main reason that it is stupid beyond belief

OK. so. hear me out .

STUPID REASONS WHY SOL IS ASIAN:

(and hint: this is all me projecting 100%)

1) moist frog who immediately turns off when it gets too cold. SOUTHEASTASIAN BOY AS FUCK (to me). guy who thinks thirty degrees celsius is pleasant temperature. guy who thinks that anything below 25C is sweater weather. guy who is soo sweaty and moist all the time (the humidity) and that is not only a natural state, but a preferrable state. 20 degrees is too cold. anything below 0 is actually not functional.

anyway. sol bufo. keepin it warm and gross. if its too cold and dry he immediately hibernates. king

2) idk if anyone reading this has seen shaolin soccer. but sol bufo. could clump shaolin soccer. essentially what im saying is sol bufo is like a buff asian jock. which is kinda goofy and goodnatured and loud and also very obnoxious. i cannot articulate this very well. but. what can i say except a human version of sol bufo was delivered to me in a dream and it was every buff chinese classmate ive ever met.

3) (you will notice the reasons get progressively more stupid and more deeply specific)

sol bufo would love milo. omg. like. chocolate drink in a juice box container that is branded as a sports/energy drink and also green. also the guy on the front of the packet milo. sol bufo coded. tbh

anyway. milo isnt strictly southeast asian..? but. yes it is actually.

4) the whole monk class is extremely steeped in asian 'aesthetics' anyway. i mean. ki. so whatever i can claim this monk for me thats my right

NONSTUPID BUT STILL KIND OF SILLY REASONS:

and this is also me projecting 100%. obviously all delusion. so i guess see this as a for-fun reading of the sol/swag storyline through the lens of a very specific of asianness

okay so. swag right. his journey is about leaving his home where he was comfortable and safe but also very confined. mothership lures him to ezry w the promise of opportunity & seeing the world, making something of himself. he ends up being exploited for his body and skills. and he runs away, but his blood still oils up the mothership cogs.

so anyway. i think its pretty clear how that cld map onto like . an immigrant experience? leaving home because of the need to find urself, but simultaneously, the threat of exploitation at the hands of ppl who see you as a potential profit to be mined. this is the first part

the part that is more crazy to me is his experience in irondeep. like, when he left moonstone he left his entire community. now hes alone ... and he cant go back. (he is stranded physically, emotionally). and at this low point, of true and utter loneliness and purposelessness, comes along bronzebeard industries. they offer him a job - but more importantly, they offer him connections.

like. thinking about how were introduced to swag. its not at his job, its his downtime, its when hes hanging out with his coworkers, when hes surrounded by 'friends'. w people who think hes cool, and the people who think hes a "sucker".

idk! but i think this also relates rlly strongly to a common experience of being international? like. when you know you are permenantly lost from home. what you want more than anything is to feel the same community and sense of belonging you used to have. and it is very easy for that desire to ge manipulated. (like - im just gonna mention the one specific instance that ive seen. which is like. international students on college campuses getting targeted a lot by christian groups. because they know those people are lonely and want a feeling of shared tradition and practice. anyway. this is one specific example but also this is literally what happens to lyddie and sister rosaline :-| )

anyway so in summary: swags story of hope/idealism, exploitation, and loneliness leading him to be a very good pawn. i think that is something that could potentially be read as the experiences of ppl dislocated internationally from their home. and im saying its asian because I Want To.

... and sol! okay. i think very simply: sol is super white-washed. total banana. and thats part of his character. he is a moonstone bullywug who never knew his own home, and still, has never even seen moonstone with his own eyes. he does not know his own history. (and kinda tangent, the place where he spends the majority of his life is in launchpad, a sanitized corporate version of reality. and i mean, the whole 'boy wizard and frog pal' is very clearly alluding to harry potter. like. its white.) but ignoring that, the essence of his character is like. this is a guy who does not know where he came from

and currently? a large part of his arc is about trying to unravel his identity by figuring out where (who) he came from. swag daniels is his one link to a community hes just now found out he has. that is a part of why hes trying so hard to save swag. swag is his family - specifically the parts about family you cant choose. that is hard, complicated and how you understand where the parts of yourself track back to.

like. i think a lot about how the pivotal moments of connection between swag and sol are all about swag... showing sol what moonstone is like. in a dream, he lets sol experience what that place is like. that place is a muggy swamp. idk. swag is taking sol back home. that fucks me up a lot

... anyway digression aside. i think one of the most painful things gg on rn w sols arc rn is. how its looking right now. sol is going to lose swag. sol is going to have to come to terms w losing swag. sol for the first time, yearns to know who he is and who he came from. but by the time he went looking it was too late. his time is up. that moment of connection was brief and gone. there are so many questions about their history that sol will never know now

so obviously this kind of dips a bit into metaphor at the end. swag represents connection to cultural history and heritage and identity. and in that lens, it reads to ME as a story abt being asian and disconnected from ur roots. but anyway. even without that lens i think sols story is still v much abt cultural estrangement

(i also have a very loose and unformed thought: which is that sols journey from wanting to stand out/be special to wanting to find a place of belonging. is ALSO INCREDIBLY RESONANT to the experience of being whitewashed asian... ESPECIALLY for ppl who do come from asia. and how that also relates to the tragedy of wanting to understand ur roots when its already too late. but . i dont rlly know if that is a common experience so. itll be noodling in my head for now)

anyway. my essay. and yes this is all make believe in my head . TLDR: i think swags an immigrant sols a banana and i am fucking insane thanks everyone

also if u read this all and want to know what part of this long ramble actly answers the question of why i think theyre asian. well. you know what.

[aquaquadrant]

“He reaches for Tango’s arm. “Tango, I love you-” “I know!” Tango jerks away. “I know that, okay? But you- did it ever occur to you that maybe I love you, too?” PAIN PAIN PAIN

“That maybe for once I- I did something ‘cause I love you and not ‘cause I hate myself?” Tango buddy i hate to break it to you but i still think you’re punishing yourself 

“Traps. He forgot to look for traps.” proof of how long he’s been away oh i am unwell

“Well,” Bravo says, stepping into the room, “isn’t this convenient?” I am going to write self insert fanfiction just to punch him in the face so help me god

“Jimmy surges into the air, wings beating, and swoops down at Bravo. “Don’t you dare call him that!” THAT'S MY BOOOOOOY 

“He’s already had ten years in the sun. That’s more than anyone else in Hels got.” and what if i started crying right here right now. 

“Bravo, on the other hand, stands to gain absolutely nothing from this except the satisfaction of knowing Tango is suffering. How strange, that the only player to ever really demonstrate that desire isn’t even from Hels.” and that's it right there, isn't it? This whole series has been exploring the idea of what makes us good and evil, and how easy it is to go from one or the other. The supposed “good” player, Bravo, acting more evil than ANY hels character we’ve ever met. Boom. 

“Tango tilts his head. “Yeah? If that’s the case, then uh, why did the universe send you here?” my jaw physically dropped in real life HOO BOY. 

“Shut up!” Bravo cries, almost desperate. “I’m the one in the right, here!” “Says who?” Tango asks.” I actually think this whole conversation is GREAT for Tango’s mental health. Like, i hope this is healing that little hels shaped scar thats been in him since he left. The part of him that always thought he deserved to go back. 

“And then he pauses. He stares at Tango, and Tango stares back. “... fuck. What am I doing?” been asking myself that about you this whole time buddy. 

“The sword clatters to the ground.” oh i am crying ugly tears rn. That whole realisation/explanation. I’m not gonna copy paste it here but. Fucking beautiful. I am crying. 

“For what it’s worth, I- I don’t think ‘being good’ is somethin’ that’s like… intrinsically handed to us, just by virtue of where we spawn. I think good is a choice that we make, every second of every day of our lives. And y’know, deciding not to choose good in one moment doesn’t mean we can never choose good again.” and there it is there it is THERE IT IS!!! THERE IT IS!!!! 

“Eventually, Jimmy waves them over. “Hey, so uh, you got somethin’ to say to Timmy?” I would die for Jimmy I would like that on the record please.

“the entire Double Life server has joined Hels.” I’m CACKLING get got Tango you’ve got FRIENDS sucker!! 

“Atlas grins.” ALL THE BETTER FOR ME TO KNOCK YOUR TEETH OUT

Fantastic chapter!!! So well worth the wait, I loved every word of it. EVERYBODY SAY THANK YOU AQUA!!!! 

auughhh i love asks like this, it’s so great to see what lines resonate w my readers bc like. when i’m writing, i spend so much time reading them and tweaking them and so they kinda lose their impact for me? so this is just really neat to see <3

[t0ast-ghost]

Hello all to episode 29 (The City On The Edge Of Forever) I’m not making it out the other side of this…

Tallyho! :

- my entire body is tense what is happening

- Whew bones is here

- “I’d better risk a few drops of cordrazene.” “It’s tricky stuff, you sure you want to risk-” Bones immediately gives it to Sulu

- OH FUCK! He stabbed himself! Add this moment to the “his blue eyes are terrifying” collection

- Bones knows how to take out anyone on the ship. He could be a menace if he wants to

- side note: Spock could voice a documentary

- he’s gonna pop out from behind the rock- fuck that doesn’t get less funny even if I anticipate it

- Okay at least McCoy knows how to hide (he isn’t just in plain sight)

- Spock’s jaw DROPPED when he saw the guardian

- HE FUCKING NERVE PINCHED HIM

- McCoy jumped through oh my god. The idiot boyfriends have to go to save their unwell boyfriend

- Are they going to back to the Great Depression? I don’t think Spock’s ears are the most suspicious thing about them, I mean look at those shirts

- Spock almost gets hit by a car, “fascinating.”

- Kirk is thieving and Spock is so done with being here

- oh my omg outfits

- Kirk challenging Spock “sometimes I expect too much of you” he’s so offended by that. Kirk apologize.

- oh no they’ve been caught again. I’d be so much more scared of strange men in my basement… okay it makes a bit more sense now

- Jim was so done in a matter of seconds “shut up. Shut up”

- DO NOT ROMANCE SOMEONE FROM THE PAST KIRK I SWEAR TO GOD

- “We have a flop.” “A what, captain?” They get their own apartment together

- I can’t with these outfits

- “Where would you estimate we belong, Mrs Keeler?” “You— At his side, as if you’ve always been there and always will. And you— you belong… in another place. I don’t know where or how. I’ll figure it out eventually.” “I’ll finish with the furnace.” “Captain. Even when he [Spock] doesn’t say it, he does.” this is such a normal conversation… no no it’s normal. I’m feeling quite normal right now. I don’t like her vibes though, they’re off

- “Social Worker Killed” Haha what.

- MCCOY IS IN THE HOUSE (wait note to self. McCoy: Party rockers in the house- Spock: Party rock is in the house. Kiss.)

- I like that McCoy is able to deduce what’s kind of happening. Oops he’s crying over past medical practices now. Let him rest he’s eepy

- NO SPOCK WAS RIGHT THERE NO

- WAIT THEYRE SAYING MCCOY SAVING EDITHS LIFE MADE IT SO THE NAZIS WON????

- “I’m a surgeon, not a psychiatrist.” WOAHHH. MOMENT.

- McCoy at Edith: You don’t believe in aliens huh? Well, we don’t believe in you.

- Bones’s back to his old charming self

- “MCCOY?? Leonard McCoy? SPOCK!” The panic from Kirk upon discovering McCoy is near

- THEIR HUG! OMG THEYRE SO HAPPY OH MY GOD

- Jim being the one to hold back McCoy :((( at least they get to hug again

I’m screaming I’m crying I am physically sick. I need a reboot or something where the three of them are canonically actually in a relationship or so god help me

Masterpost



[puppypeter]

I kind of want to hear more about like Jamie trying to manage having a chronic illness while also being like a professional athlete. (although we are giving our issues with things to people I have a strong feeling Roy is prone to like tension headaches. )

You lot are feeding me well tonight :)))))

Listen - IBS Jamie is purely for my own joy tbh there is nothing in canon even if I did make a list of some things that could apply >>>> you can find it here

It's a bullshit diagnosis anyway, cause even doctors don't know what is wrong and say it to dismiss you. So I can see him having all these issues and when he does all the tests there is nothing wrong with him and they say it's all in his head and he has to learn to live with it and manage it (there are some studies that bring on the hypothesis that there might be a link to physical, emotional or sexual abuse in childhood and with trauma in general which fits the bill with him, but I am too dumb to actually understand them but oh hey this is fiction we can do what we want!)

From my experience, exercise can be both a very good and a very bad thing. Usually fine during, but when you push too much you might feel unwell and we know he 100% over-does it. I can see him struggling with accepting he needs to put limits in place, he has to allow his body to rest and has to have regular meals etc He would be very frustrated with it. Personally it's actually fucked up my confidence massively as my therapist put it "have you ever thought that your lack of confidence also comes from not being able to ever trust your own body?" funny lady isn't she my own Doc

I think Roy having his own chronic issues (that man hurts just look at him lol but I can see headaches for sure) is actually very understanding once Jamie manages to open up about it which takes a long time >> bootroom breakdown is so spot on for being in the middle of a flare when you are still expected to operate at 110% but you're exhausted, lack of sleep is making it worse, you're bloated as fuck and your tummy hurts and you can't bother with anything (hair, personal care etc) and you just want to curl up and cry >>> Roy helping him put things in place to help like making a meal plan with the doctors of low fodmap items and ensuring the canteen is aware, always having cozy clothing around that is loose around the waist and a heat pad ready to go in the office, well stocked cabinet of ibs friendly tea (he's a tea guy anyway!), he suggest a meditation/yoga session for the afternoons and he makes jamie keep a food/symptoms diary (which then he ends up keeping cause jamie is not organised at all and roy is sorting out 90% of hid meals anyway!!). He also makes him see Dr Sharon because stress can make it worse!

Oh and Roy does gift him this too:

[bsd-obsessed]

How mentally unwell you think Chuuya is?

Your takes on his character are the best so i will be glad to hear your take on this

PD: thank you for the perfect analysis you do <3

Hey! Thank you so much for your kind words 💖

And I’m really sorry to be answering this so late but life has been crazy this last weeks. I want to say that when I got the notification of this question I was at work so I just read the first part and I was /Convinced/ someone has asked me how mentally unwell I was and I laughed out loud because the answer is a lot but I couldn’t figure out why someone would ask it like that 😭 Then I realized it was about chuuya and everything made more sense lol.

Now going with the actual question (and once again apologizing if something doesn’t make sense because English is not my native language.

Chuuya’s mental state is kind of difficult to talk about. The easy answer is that he is in a really bad mental state but it’s a little more complicated than that. Chuuya’s has gone through so much trauma, basically since the moment he started living everything in his life has been a big traumatic experience after another. It has gotten so bad that there’s a running joke in the fandom about Chuuya’s lack of reaction to fucked up things, because that’s just another Thursday in his life. He is /used/ to this horrible things happening to him. We need to understand that there’s no such a thing as a little trauma. But chuuya’s case? Is outrageous. He was experimented in, treated like a weapon, deshumanized by everyone, constantly fighting with his own feelings of inhumanity, he was used and betrayed by the people he gave everything to protect, he made new friends that loved and appreciate him only for them to also be taken away from him, worse than that, they were killed /because/ they were his friends, he had to see them die, he had to hold his own pain and instead be comforting while he saw something fucking horrible, he was hurt, physically, mentally, he was poisoned, tortured and hit by a literal black hole, he saw more people he loved die, the same year later he once again lost his friends during the dragon’s head conflict and the worse part? Shitty things are /still/ happening to him

So no, no one could go through all of that and be mentally intact, it doesn’t matter how mentally strong they are. The pure amount of trauma that Chuuya went through in three days would break any other person and that’s just a minuscule part of his life. And that’s not even the worse part of it, I said it before but Chuuya’s core is all about humanity and he find his humanity in the people that he loves. That’s the kind of person he is and is devastating to realize that this mentality is the only thing that keeps him standing while at the same time being the thing that is destroying him. He was stripped of almost every decision in his life, he is at the worst place he can be in, forced to go against his whole fucking personality, his belief system and his moral code and he can’t leave because that would go against all his character. So chuuya endures, and endures and endures. He takes every hit, he has renounced to vulnerability, he has renounced to the right of being afraid, he has renounced to the right of stepping back. He has internalized that he is strong so he /needs/ to protect the people that is not. In order to protect his people (and his humanity) he needs to be reliable, he needs to be unwavering, he needs to stand still even when everyone else is already in the floor. He has lost such a basic human right as giving up. He doesn’t now how to do it, he /can’t/ do it because people depend on him. And it’s really a tragic paradox because this is what moves him but is takes so much of him. And all for what? He keeps losing people he loves, at the end there’s no difference. All this autocontradiction is killing him, he chose the mafia because the bonds with the people there, because his bonds with the sheep means something to him. Because his humanity is there, not in the organization but in the people that is part of it. He chose the mafia because that means choosing his humanity but the mafia is the kind of organization that works around deshumanizing people, so what’s the point of all of that. He is surrounded by people, he loves and is loved by people but he still is so unbearably lonely.

Now, what makes chuuya different from other characters? Chuuya’s resilience really is a scary thing. He is brave, he takes everything the world gives him and retaliates just as hard. Even when he has gone through hell and back, he still is full of vitality, he is still so hungry for life, he still enjoys all the little things he can get. Even when he knows that the worlds is a cruel place, even when he knows that there are bad people and that fucked up things happen, he never grew to hate the world because he clings to the good things, no matter how small they are. Because it doesn’t matter if he’s using corruption and bleeding from every hole, or feeling like his bones are being pulverized by gravity, it doesn’t matter that he loses the humanity he so desperately clings to, if by doing that he can protect the people that he loves. Is not that chuuya is mentally well, he is not emotionally intelligent (actually he’s horrible at it, it only seems like he is because most of the time he is being compared with Dazai who is far worse) but he is probably the most resilient character in bsd. Chuuya is strong, he is a fighter. He will fight for his place in this world, he will fight the unfairness of all, he will fight the senseless of life.

I also feel like it’s important to add that chuuya has a lot of interesting copying mechanisms and while most of them are certainly not healthy, it’s also what keeps him moving. Regarding all his trauma, I feel like it’s important to talk about how chuuya just never thinks of certain hurtful stuff. He just put all the pain in a mental box and hides it away. Chuuya doesn’t seem as affected by his trauma as other characters because he is hyper fixated in going ahead, he never looks back. He just keeps going forward BUT it doesn’t matter how much he advances, it doesn’t matter how fast he goes, all that trauma, pain and contradictions will catch up on him one day and it will be a terrible sight. Because my boy doesn’t know when to stop, he doesn’t know when he’s had enough, he thinks that limits are just kind suggestions that he can ignore.

So in summary Chuuya is an accident waiting to happen. He is more less stable at first glance, because he has copying mechanisms and a strong mentality and a otherworldly resilience but he also sucks at dealing with his own trauma, he is self destructive, and a living contradiction and that’s gonna wear him down someday. True to his character, his contradictions are fighting between them to keep some kind of weird balance but that won’t last. So, Chuuya is definitely mentally unwell.

Whoa that was longer than what I expected, sorry for that.