#they make a point to mention it and her touch aversion
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ellelans · 9 months ago
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Maria Sten as Frances Neagley,REACHER.
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dutybcrne · 9 months ago
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Kaeya is rather touch averse, cringing away from casual contact people give him under the guise of being distracted or idle movement. He's used to it, the Ragnvindrs and Adenlinde got him used to frequent affectionate physical contact, but it can still be entirely Uncomfortable if he's touched by someone outside those he is close to or someone he's otherwise Allowed to touch him.
#hc; kaeya#//Mentioned before; but am Elaborating on other aspects since Aven get brain juices flowing for this#//Unlike Aven; he's FAR more tolerable of people who touch him unprompted. & more willing to indulge for himself outside his comfort people#//Unless he himself had actively given the indication he doesn't want it; in that case THEN he's likely to anger & retaliate#//But yeah; his response is usually Discomfort & trying to get away from it one way or another. Can tolerate it to appear friendly; sure#//But would rather not want people to touch him so easily. Is decently okay with brief touches tho; like shoulder pats or the like#//Will actively lean into it & encourage further touching ONLY as a means to an end; adjusting any wandering hands only when going too far#//Esp if he can use that like a carrot on a string–if they concede to what he wants; they can touch him more. Maybe MORE than just that too#//He won't initiate any touch unless he deems it Absolutely Necessary; WILL internally scream if they Immediately reciprocate the contact#//Uses it as a 'reward' sometimes; a little pinch of the cheek; a hug; getting right into their space; if he sees they'll react favorably#//Maybe more if they have connection enough; like Huffman or one of his longer-running liaisons. Is p ok w/ sleeping w/ them as reward#//Sometimes he forgets some people don't like that he does this; like Rosie. Tries the tactic to get a favor then Remembers#//Absolutely apologizes; feels mortified when she scrutinizes him for it. Esp since she'd be one of few ppl who KNOWS just how Averse he is#to it in the first place. Him slipping up like that in front of HER is smth he'd STRESS over. She could hold over his head for all he knows#//How can he even joke abt it? Worse if she asks abt his way of doing things or indicate she doesnt Like that he uses himself as bait#//Has absolutely accidentally tried to seduce/bait sb like that who he absolutely should Not have. Like Jean. Ended up playing it off like#a joke between friends; but damn near had a panic attack from the guilt the moment he was safely in his office. bc Jean is SPECIAL to him#could he treat her like THAT? How could he almost let her SEE that side of him? His casual charm and facade are ONE thing#//But him actively doing something like THAT; esp for Jean of all people; is COMPLETELY off-limits; no matter his feelings#//Actually; especially BC he harbors feelings for her. Ppl like Lisa on the other hand; he is VERY comfortable doing this with/to#//She GETS the flirty habit & dishes it back without losing image of him in the way someone he regards at Jean's level possibly could#//And as far as Lisa knows; it's Only a playful habit; not a means to an end. The ones who prolly Know might be certain folks in the church#//But that's just bc he gets frequent checkups after every lil Rendezvous of his. Which is why he's got dirt on Every Single Person There#//Except Barbara; but he absolutely makes SURE she's not the one he's dealing with whenever he goes. Wants to spare her his messes#//Damn; veered a little but it's alright. 'A little'; HA. Nah; my tags are but the cluttered corkboard of my thoughts jhdbfjdf#//Diluc; Addie & Jean are the people he most Fears finding out abt his methods. Doesnt wanna THINK abt how they'd feel/regard him after tha#//Knows for SURE it'd be painful if the way they treat him changes even a SLIGHT. ESP Addie; he can bear the other two; but Addie???#//Nah; he'd be fucken DEVASTATED. That's the ONE person he knows hold true unwavering unconditional love for him; no matter what#//To do anything to damage that? He'd be so fucken GUTTED. He expects everyone to get fed up with/disdain him at some point. But not HER#//Keeps this shit on the down low by always having dirt on the people he gets Involved with; if not using keeping it up as an incentive
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cakeinthevoid · 1 year ago
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Porcelain
yes minutes after my warning I am already posting a snippet. Context? What context? I decided on a quick blurb but if you genuinely have questions/want to know more—send an ask!!!!!
Zinc spends more time with Diana now that she seems cooperative. Diana tries to resist it but she’s so lonely and desperate. She grows to like Zinc, barring the fact that he’s a part of the crew. He tells her about his home and how Marc found him. Diana tells him about the landscape of her home, how it’s really a moon. About architecture and ceramics. She gets choked up. Zinc hesitatingly puts a hand on her shoulder. She tenses but doesn’t pull away. Zinc is paged away into a crew meeting. He leaves awkwardly. 
The next day, after Diana gets a batch of seeds to sprout, Zinc brings water in a ceramic bowl. It’s off white, well used with a chip and a few scratches in the glaze, but has an intricate pattern going around the rim. He gives it to her (to drink the water first, which she does in one sitting then regrets because she probably isn’t getting more) to inspect. She tells him it’s a reinforced porcelain and not pure clay. Then she does a deep dive into the ceramic quality and when it was likely made. She flips the bowl around and tracing the ridges with her fingers, getting super into it. 
“It’s… charming.” 
Diana thumbed the design. “If this was hand painted, it’s really well done,” she said, almost only to herself. “Everything is done in an even coat but—oh.” She stopped twisting the bowl and pointed at a barely noticeable break in the seam of the pattern looping around. She tilted it towards Zinc so he could see.
“What is it?” He leaned in to inspect. 
“Misprint. It wasn’t painted; it was stamped. That explains the colour and thinness,” she muttered.
Zinc looked up at her in awe. “You can tell all of that just from looking at it?” 
Diana averted her gaze, dropping it back to her hands that were fidgeting with the bowl. “It’s just educated guesswork. I work with clay.” She paused, turning the bowl so that the glaze could catch the light. “Worked with, I guess. The glaze seems kind of cheap, too,” she added before holding out the bowl. 
“What?” 
“Aren’t you going to take it back?” 
“Oh. Um,” he fidgeted. “You can—if you like it, you can keep it.” 
Diana lowered her arm. “Where would I keep it?” She said after a beat. “Just take it,” she said forcefully, placing the bowl on the floor with care and turning away. 
“Diana—“
“Don’t,” she snapped. “Just… don’t,” she whispered. She pulled away and settled by the wall in such a way that the chain linked above rested on the ground to her right, between her and Zinc. 
“I’m sorry,” he said quietly. 
Diana said nothing, keeping her back to Zinc, despite the voice in her head screaming to turn around.
“...If you keep… cooperating… Marc will probably let you off the chain, you know.” Diana tensed. “You could be a part of our crew.” 
“What makes you think I’d want that?” She spat, still refusing to look at him. “What makes you think that the moment I’m free, I wouldn’t get the hell off this prison?” 
Zinc gasped. “Don’t say that!” 
She finally looked at him over her shoulder and chuckled humourlessly. “Or what? I can’t believe…” she trailed off as she turned away again.
His gaze darkened. “You know if she hears you talk like that you’ll be stuck like this.” Zinc shook his head and sighed, “I don’t understand what would be so bad if you just joined us.”
“You have no idea what you’re talking about,” she said darkly.
Zinc looked up, exasperated. “Yeah, I think I have some idea. You think I’m oblivious to what’s going on? You already told me what happened to your moon. Marc told the whole crew about the deal.” His voice quieted. “And… I run the security systems on the ship… I’ve seen the cameras.” 
Diana was mortified to feel ashamed, and tried to drown out that burning emotion with a wave of fury. 
“You—” 
“Your home is gone. At least here, you could have a new life. It really isn't so bad, and maybe you could even go off the ship someday and help Zeyver get plants or even work with clay again! You could have real friends here. Family, even.”
Diana whipped around. Zinc flinched back at her eyes, bright with tears. 
“How dare you?” She started in a raspy voice. “My home isn’t gone and my family isn’t—they’re not—my real friends aren’t—” her voice broke off into a sob. She dropped her head into shaking hands, gasping between sobs. It hurt because he was right, she thought. She was well and truly alone. 
Her breathing hitched, body tensing at the sensation of something wrapping around her. 
Zinc was hugging her. 
She hated it. Hated him. She wanted him to let go. 
She was desperate. Pathetic.
Diana tried to relax into the hug but, “You knew…” she sobbed. 
“I voted against it, at first," he said into her hair. "But then… I didn’t know. I should’ve gone with instinct.” 
“You knew…” she repeated, again and again. 
“Shh,” he soothed, running a hand down her back. It felt like bugs were crawling after his hand. 
Despite all the noise in her head, she leaned into his touch.
She was aware of every point of contact—it felt like knives, even though he was barely touching her. She couldn’t remember when was the last time someone held her without throwing a punch afterwards. The thought tightened the coil in her stomach. 
Zinc was beginning to shake. Or, more likely, she was.
“Are you okay? Sorry, stupid question—” he began to pull away. 
“No—” Diana choked out, and promptly clicked her mouth shut, face aflame. Her damaged hand was gripping his sleeve. Zinc’s eyes dropped to it and she let go as though it too was aflame. 
Oh, she was truly pathetic now. Begging for a hit—
“You want me to… hug you?” It was a statement phrased like a question, but Diana only clenched her jaw tighter, willing the tears in her eyes to stop streaming, willing her body to stop begging for touch and distance at the same time—willing herself to stop being difficult. 
“Is that a no?” He asked slowly. Diana stayed still. His eyes scanned her and she suddenly felt much too exposed, too vulnerable. 
Gently, he raised the arm she was gripping moments earlier. Her eyes darted to it and he stopped. 
“I’m sorry I didn’t ask before,” he said, looking at her face even though her eyes were pinned on his hand. “I wasn’t—I wasn’t trying to make you cry and I didn’t know what to do.” He tilted his head slightly. “Did you like it?” 
No, she wanted to say. She hated it and hated him. 
She was beginning to hate herself. She wanted comfort, even if it was from the very people who held her like a beast. 
But she couldn’t say yes, because his touch felt like bugs crawling and knives pressing. It felt like the moments between Amsok’s punches, except then, she knew she would be hit. 
I am truly broken now, she thought and felt her eyes well with more tears. 
Zinc’s own eyes widened, settling into a look of worry. “I’m going to hug you now. If you say no, I’ll stop, okay?” 
Diana wanted to move, to at least nod, or even shake her head, but was terrified to realize she couldn’t move. Her muscles locked and she could only close her eyes as she saw Zinc hesitatingly lean in. 
She shuddered as his arms wrapped around her, landing like moths. 
He didn’t rub her back. He stayed as still as though she were made of glass and wouldn't risk breaking her. She felt his breath on her shoulder. It could have been peaceful. 
Diana could only tolerate it for a couple of minutes. Zinc’s arms gradually felt as though they were growing tighter and his breathing was getting too loud and it’s been too long since—she jerked her head to the side. 
“Di—”
“No,” she said. “No no no—” 
Zinc let go instantly. “Okay! Hey, it’s okay.” He raised his hands in a placating gesture. 
She took a deep breath, ignoring how much colder she suddenly felt. She held her left hand tightly with her right hand, focussing on the pain radiating through the metal, up her arm instead. She exhaled sharply through her nose and shut her eyes as fire flamed through her blood. She kept the pressure until her heart stopped racing.  
Diana opened her eyes, blinking to clear her vision, and was startled to see Zinc still sitting in front of her. 
“Why—” she cleared her throat, “—why are you still here?” 
Zinc shifted self-consciously. “To… make sure you were okay.” 
Diana took in a long breath. “Don’t say that,” she said at length. 
He frowned. She sighed again. 
Diana broke the silence when neither spoke for a minute. 
“What do you want from me?” She whispered. 
“Nothing,” he answered immediately, but she just shook her head. 
Before Diana could disagree, Zinc’s communicator began to buzz and flash. He jumped up, stuttered out an apology for startling her again and another for having to leave so abruptly, and ran down the far hall. 
Alone in the main cabin, Diana breathed a sigh of relief. Slowly, the tension bled out of her muscles and she curled up on the floor, spent. It wasn’t long before the darkness of the cabin and hum of the core lulled her to sleep.
~~~
Thanks for reading :))
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heartmaddie · 1 month ago
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soft spot ! kageyama tobio , tsukishima kei , sakusa kiyoomi (seperate) incl ; post time-skip , fluff , mentions marriage (sakusa) , kageyama's is a bit sad ? , fem!reader
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kageyama tobio ! “i need you ‘cause you’re everything that i’m not”
from the ages of fourteen to twenty-five, kageyama spent every night all alone.
with the absense of his parents, the death of his grandfather and his sister being frequently out of the house, kageyama was used to spending hours in solemnity to the point where he had to trick himself into enjoying it. that was until she had spent the first night at his apartment. after intertwined bodies and sleepy kisses shared between the two of them, it was more than just time with the woman that he had suddenly fallen in love with, but a small peek into the romance that he had missed out on due to his previous aversion to love.
he was addicted to her, addicted to her touch, addicted to the way her hands would brush over the skin of his muscular back which exhibited all the work he’d dedicated to his sport. everything about her was so different to him. her soft fingers and calming words, the way she carried herself with some sort of ethereal grace would completely contrast the monster which kageyama tobio was, or at least thought.
because when he was wrapped in her arms, head resting against the swell of her chest, he was someone else entirely. in his peaceful state of sleep, tobio was somewhat reminiscent of the little boy who had missed out on hours of slumber due to his fear of the dark, only amplified by the fact that he was all alone. so now he would greedily soak up any sort of affection she’d offer him as if it were a precious gold liquid that only he could obtain. whenever he found himself in her arms, his heart would swell to an impossible size, and it was almost like her warmth was chipping away at the ice which adorned his cold heart.
her love seeped through the cracks which dug deep. from the night terrors of his childhood to the loss of the one family member who truly loved him to the rejection of his teammates, tobio was brimming with unvoiced malaise. but only in her arms, was that pain finally taken away from him.
tobio would cling onto her as if nothing else mattered, because every night without her, he was brought back to the old reality which was sleepless nights alone, something he’d never want to experience again.
tsukishima kei ! “don’t believe in love but no one makes me feel like you do”
as of right now, her and tsukishima kei’s relationship was nothing more than quiet walks through the local art gallery with intertwined fingers or spending late nights together at the quiet library downtown as they worked together in silence, he was comfortable with that. he didn’t like the idea of being so dependent on another person, he even found it quite embarrassing when he’d see other couples cling to each other in public. he had voiced this opinion before, and it was mutually agreed upon between the two of them.
he had somewhat mentioned how he played volleyball professionally, but he didn’t tell her a lot about it - so he was quite surprised when he caught a glimpse of her signature beige trench coat and black knitted scarf, a large bouquet wrapped in her arms as she looked around curiously. before he even realised it, blood rushed to his cheeks, his teammates grinning and nudging them along as they caught sight of her too.
tsukishima let out a soft sigh before he walked up to her, taping on her shoulder and eyeing the bouquet quizzically.
“what’s that for?” he asked, his voice a low murmur with a hint of curiosity embedded between words. for a fleeting moment her eyes met him, a meek smile ghosted on her face as she awkwardly stuffed the bouquet into his arms.
“it’s a gift, for you,” she murmured, eyes trained down, just missing the flustered expression of her boyfriend. “a couple of friends told me that you had a game tonight and that it was pretty important or something..” she was embarrassed, her back was visibly tensed up. and tsukishima couldn’t help but wonder if he’s seen a more enchanting thing in his life before this.
it was almost automatic how he reached for her, bringing her face close to his chest as he carefully ensured to not squish the pink lilies cradled in the other arm. he buried his nose into her neatly styled hair, inhaling the soft scent which somehow matched her perfectly.
“thank you, it’s quite thoughtful..” he hummed, and he could feel the convulsions which pattered within his heart as he hesitantly brought tender pink lips towards her.
in moments like these, tsukishima pushed away the idea of being embarrassed, focused on the way her fingers intertwined with his as he embraced her. he smiled against her lips, suddenly overtaken by the unmeasurable swelling in his chest, and for the first time, he decided that maybe love would be okay if it was just with her.
sakusa kiyoomi ! “i hate to dance but i’ll dance with you, ‘cause i’d do anything to feel your touch”
in the dim lighting of their modern apartment, the two figures swayed in perfect sync to the 1960s jazz which played quietly in the background. the swell of her cheek was pressed against his hard chest, arms loosely wrapped around his neck as she inhaled the aquatic and woody accords which wafted around his upper body.
his arms squeezed her hips, moving together in endless circles. while she was focused on correcting her movements and not stepping all over his sock-clothed toes, his eyes were solely trained on her face. in the nighttime, and under the stars, the yellow moon cast a mesmerising glow over her face, and sakusa kiyoomi was enchanted by her. his eyes were unusually soft, his signature pouty expression gone as he found himself falling even more in love with the woman right in front of him as they danced under luminescence.
sakusa’s lips ghosted over the fat of her cheeks, pressing a tender, chaste kiss against soft skin, his arms moving to pull her impossibly closer, and he couldn’t help but smile when she melted into his embrace. if someone were to tell sixteen year old him that he’d find himself in a situation like this, he would’ve scowled or laughed it off. but now, in his full maturity as a twenty-six year old man, he would always seek the comfort and warmth of her soft body, he was almost yearnful for it.
he’s become content in the tranquillity of swaying together in the late hours of the night, he looks forward to it now. and when the record halted to a stop, his arms lifted her into the air, evoking a tired giggle from her chest before placing her languidly over the goose-down quilt and falling right next to her. his lips once again press a soft kiss against the nape of her neck, murmuring a small ‘i love you’, unheard to another’s ears as he watched her fall dormant.
his lips pulled into a soft smile, as he carefully lifted her left hand as if not to wake her up. his fingers rubbed gentle circles against the skin of her fourth finger, his heart beating impossibly faster as he imagined smooth skin replaced by the texture of the two-carat diamond ring which was buried at the bottom of his drawers.
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please like , reblog or follow if you enjoyed :p © heartmaddie all rights reserved. please do not repost my work.
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reve-writes · 2 years ago
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—the set-up; kaz brekker.
ʚ kaz brekker x reader | grishaverse | 1,8k words. ʚ from this request. | three times the crows plan to set you and kaz up + the one time they find out you're married. ʚ fluff; the crows are featured (incl. wesper & helnik ship); kaz's touch aversion isn't featured. ʚ a/n this has been sitting in the drafts for a bit. ive been suffering down the leon brainrot hole (honestly an excellent one to fall into). kaz calls reader schatje (i have a fic where he does this. i chose schatje because ketterdam is loosely inspired from 1500s-1700s amsterdam!). i wrote this in a goofy way honestly.
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one. he smiles.
Wylan fiddles with jars and tubes filled with an assortment of chemicals—some of them tend to explode, all of them horrible smelling. He's supposed to be on guard duty and he prefers it over running around guns blazing alongside Jesper—as much as he loves the sharpshooter, gunshots give him a lot of anxiety.
He peers into the room where most of the work is happening.
You are poring over stacks of documents, eyes scanning quickly top-to-bottom to find relevant information. Kaz has his ear pressed against the front of a safe, gloved hand twisting the lock. You move around him in the cramped office space with relative ease, grabbing more files to read on the desk.
It doesn't take long for the safe to swing open.
“No safe is safe from Kaz Brekker, the safe-cracker, huh?” you comment. A light, teasing smile decorates your lips.
“Please never say that sentence again.”
To Wylan's surprise, the ever-frowning Dirtyhands smiles. Not the half-hearted hospitable smile he occasionally gives out, or the scary half-sneer half-smirk that is so intimidating it scares even Wylan sometimes. No, a genuine, amused smile. It is so unnatural that he has to look away, a hand clasped over his mouth in shock.
When he tells Jesper, the taller man mirrors his reaction, dark eyes blown wide and jaw unhinged.
“He smiled?” Jesper gives an incredulous stare as if Wylan has just told him that he is a member of the Council of Tide—which is impossible with Wylan's lack of Grisha ability, let alone tidemaking. “He smiled over that?”
Wylan nods enthusiastically.
“We are talking about the same Kaz?”
“Are there any other Kaz that we know?” Wylan sighs.
“Well, no—”
“I think we have to proceed with the plan,” Wylan ponders. Jesper blinks widely.
“The plan?”
“Nina's plan!” Wylan looks at Jesper as if he's just gotten a strike of inspiration, hand in the air, pointing at nothing in particular. “Operation Kaz and ____. Remember?”
Jesper remembers. It was so ridiculous that it remains impossible to remove from his memory to this day, even though it was mentioned in passing.
Nina, flushed red from too many drinks, suddenly shoots her hand up, flailing it limply. The founder of the idea seems to have a plan ready to set in motion.
“We are the gods of love!” She drunkenly declares, free hand moves to tap Wylan's cheeks repeatedly. “And as the benevolent gods that we are, our first mission is them.”
Nina pushes Wylan's face towards you and Kaz, sat at the bar, deep in conversation. The rest of the Crows followed suit, realising Nina's suggestion. She stumbles over drunkenly and with little-to-no care on making it look as natural or accidental as she can, "trips" over her foot and falls forward.
You take the brunt of the force, being pushed forward that you fall onto Kaz. The latter glares at Nina, hand coming to your shoulder to steady you.
“My bad.... It seems I've lost my balance,” she slurs. “Oh! Would you look at that? The two of you would make quite a pair, don't you think so, Matthias?”
Matthias raises an eyebrow, already hauling Nina with him to get back to their table.
“Poor Helvar,” says Kaz simply, nudging you to get back on the barstool.
“He doesn't seem to mind,” you retort, noting Matthias' loving gaze as he escorts Nina.
It doesn't take long before the chaos settles, leaving you and Kaz, still engaging in conversation as the last patrons leave the Crow Club.
“We would make a good pair, huh?” You tease, reaching over to brush your hand against his, leather soft under your palm. “You think so?”
Kaz looks at you pointedly, tugging your left hand towards him, fingers pressing on the small diamond adorning your ring finger. “Would I have given you this, if I didn't?”
Smooth with his words without even trying. A trait you find both annoying and endearing after all the years you've been together.
“I mean you have a lot of diamonds lying around—”
“Schatje.”
“Yes?” All train of thought immediately halts on its tracks. The petname has a hold over you that he oh-so-often uses as leverage. You pout. “Stop distracting me.”
He smiles—soft and uncharacteristic, contradictory to the harsh rasp of his voice and the rough scars on his skin. He smiles a smile he reserves only for your eyes, and you're falling for it, a hundred times over.
two. the demjin.
You don't like when Kaz gets like this—all wrung up over a waivable matter. It reminds you a lot of what he had to be before, the things he had to do and what Dirtyhands actually stood for. Not at all akin to the Kaz Brekker you know—the one who immediately comes whenever one of your crew is threatened, the one who stays up with you as you wait for the rest of your little heist crew to return, the one who goes out of his way to collect little trinkets to bring home to you.
You are hurt, shallow cuts all over your body from a little dagger scuffle with a mercenary, but you're a member of the Dregs—this, you can take. A little Heartrender magic and some bandages, you will recover in no time.
“You're back.”
Kaz stops and you look over him to find his knuckles bloodied, hair stuck out of place and clothes disheveled.
“You're alright, schatje?”
His room at the Slat isn't big contrary to popular belief. He sinks into his chair with a huge sigh. You're watching him three steps away from the edge of his bed.
“What did you do?”
He shrugs, tugging his coat off. “Business.”
“You went after them.”
“It was one part of the business.” He pulls at his gloves, shedding them into the trash—too bloodied for him to bother cleaning. “Are you sure you're alright?”
You tuck your hands into your elbows, displeasure visible across your features. “Are you?”
“Why wouldn't I be?”
“Kaz.”
“They deserved it,” he stubbornly says. “I had to make sure they know not to involve themselves with us. You understand. Besides, I'm alright.”
“I do understand,” you relent. It is business. The Barrell doesn't stop for poets or musicians or lovers, no, it thrives off of the back of violence, taking an eye for an eye. “I just wish that you were here when I woke up.”
His shoulders loosen and he is your Kaz again. Not the one molded by Ketterdam, birthed at its harbour. He's the man so in love that he will dry the seas for you if you say the word. Kaz takes your hands. They are warm on his skin and his heart swells.
“I am sorry, schatje.”
You kneel in front of him, leaning your elbows on his thighs to press a brief kiss on his lips. “Let's stay off business for a while.”
“Kaz?” A sound outside the door, followed by three raps. “Are you in there?”
“He is, Jesper. Give us a moment,” you reply.
You hear hushed whispers—both low voices, so you assume it's Wylan. Your suspicion is confirmed when the second voice sounds from behind the door.
“No, we—no, Jes—don't have anything urgent. We simply wanted to know if he is well. Take your time. We'll be going now.”
“Good night, Wylan,” you reply, immediately hearing fading footsteps soon after.
“Fifty kruge says they're already together,” says Jesper, out of your earshot.
Wylan rolls her eyes. “Fifty on them not dating yet.”
Jesper immediately clasps Wylan's hand with a loud “Deal!”
iii. the marketplace.
“Busybodies,” Kaz complained, walking a step behind you as you're treading through the Ketterdam food market. “They are not even hiding. In broad daylight. How have they never gotten caught before?”
“Kaz, my love.” You are trying not to laugh as you're picking and choosing fruits. “They usually do a better job on actual missions.”
They refer to your five lovely friends who have decided to tail you as you're coming down to the market. Kaz is the first to take notice—blurry figures moving erratically ten steps behind you.
“I should assign them something to do instead of... whatever it is they're currently doing.”
“They're curious.” You shrug, handing over a few slips of Kruge to the seller and leaving with your bag five apples heavier. “We've been acting suspicious lately. They'll find out soon enough.”
“I'll bet Inej finds out first.” Kaz nudges your fingers with his, taking the bag from you as he matches his step with yours. “The Wraith does a better job at spying.”
“My bet is Matthias.” An unlikely one. He's probably the least nosy out of the five.
Suddenly, you're pulled into a small nook, squuezed between buildings and he presses a kiss on your lips. One turns to two and you're smiling like a lovesick fool when he pulls away.
“We're being followed and you pull this?”
“Schatje, our pursuers are horrendously bad at this.” He shrugs, pulling away. You resume your trek through the market. “Look. They've lost us.”
iv. the marriage certificate.
“Fake IDs,” Kaz says, pointing at the towering Fjerdan. “You'll be collecting them from Anika.”
Matthias doesn't mind running errands, although he does think that he'll be better suited for physical fights other than fetching papers, but he doesn't argue. It seems he is doing more than simply fetching papers though.
“That is real?” He asks Anika, pointing at a marriage certificate she has on her desk. Marriage certificates are mundane enough not to warrant this type of reaction, but it is the name that shocks even him to the core. Kaz Brekker and you, married?
“As real as can be around here.” Anika scrambles to hide it away. “Here are your IDs. Don't tell anyone about it.”
In Matthias' defense, he doesn't end up telling just anyone. He tells Nina and Nina is the one telling everyone else. Within a week, every member of the Crows have known about it.
Wylan hands Jesper slips of fifty kruge, grumbling that this is unfair. Nina looks like spring has just arrived. Inej is probably the least reactive—but that is because she's already found out long before the others. She's the Wraith after all. Matthias is anxious. For all everyone knows, he is the one responsible for the news.
You strut into the dining room, seeing everyone gathered and raise an eyebrow.
“Why are you all here?”
“We want to ask—”
Before Nina can finish her sentence, Jesper blurts out. “You're married?”
You chuckle, shrugging. “You found out.”
“How long?”
“Kaz? Really?”
“How did that happen?”
A series of questions that you don't actually answer. You stand there, leaning on the back of one of the wooden chairs situated in the room—remorseless to your very core.
“Ask him about it.”
That ends the discussion. None of them will actually ask him about it and even if any of them actually finds the courage to, the likelihood of Kaz answering anything that's not a sarcastic remark or a threat is close to none.
“How did you find out anyway?”
Everyone points towards Matthias and to the Fjerdan's horror, Nina's pointer finger finds him, too.
You only smile, silently planning to brag to your spouse that you've won your bet.
[ ].
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kryaaas · 1 month ago
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Harry is very aversive to touch!!!!!
There really only few instances we see Harry touch someone
Most of the time other people initiates physical contact with Harry. Kim often touches his shoulder to comfort him, in the end Jean walks him to the car (and in some endings Jean seems to almost forcefully shove Harry to his side, while harry hesitates). I think the one time Harry touches Kim is when you dont recruit him in the end (🥺...)
Another contact that Harry starts is when he hugs the working class woman and it cause some traumatic memories to resurface
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There are certain moments where Harry physically hurts people (the Unsolvable Case, holding a woman in her apartment, punching cuno) but ultimately it seems like a common occurrence.
If writers wanted to convey some great violence from Harry could have easily been a mention of harry (during the bender) starting a fight with whirling customers or physically assaulting them and Sylvie or attacking his colleagues. But...there is almost none of it. There are tons of other bad things Harry have done, the game doesnt not shy away from it (him harassing civilians and threatening with a gun). But this harassment doesnt seem to actually fighting someone. If anything he seems more comfortable physically lashing out on inanimate objects (jean says he was things things, the skua thing, and the whole anti-object task force thought) rather than people
And of course there is a lot to say with Harry's attitude towards sex and the Half-light check during the conversation with Klassje:
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Sex while sober is something scary and uncomfortable to the point Harry to the point he cant even umagine having sex without alcohol
And the high light suggests some sexual trauma (No, this cannot be interpreted as Harry being a perpetrator because it couldnt be more clear how "cant have sex while sober" is meant to be a direct parallel to Klassje and harry obviously puts himself in her shoes)
Guys, its okay, I promise you can portray pre-martinaise Harry or present Harry as an asshole without making him a rapist or overconfident flirt. You wont die from it. I believe in you. You can do it.
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songofthesibyl · 3 months ago
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Coming out of hiding because I keep seeing people say how sexy it was when Lucien comforted Feyre after her “nightmare” and it’s just probably the most disturbing scene of the book for me. Just like I did not, in any way, shape, or form find Rhysand sexy when he was terrorizing and humiliating Feyre, Tamlin, and Lucien in the first book, and it’s probably why I’m turned off of sexualizing anything from these books in general. Particularly with the fandom the way it is, I can’t be lighthearted about anything—but also reading these scenes by myself before entering the fandom I still felt the same way. 
It’s also difficult not getting annoyed by the “toxic Tamlin narcissistic jealousy” thing, because I see little to no evidence of this in the books prior to this scene in ACOWAR. The first time it is mentioned is in that same section of the book, what Feyre is provoking. She mentions the “back off” conversation from the first book, saying Tamlin was afraid it would get in the way of all of his plans. Out of anger she is ignoring the context of that scene, sure—but there is still no way that makes sense. Lucien was “jealous” of Isaac too—because neither he nor Tamlin wanted Andras’ death to be in vain, when this was probably their last chance. It is too unbelievable that it would be out of some petty immature jealousy. Fear, yes. But not out of lust and desire.
But to that point—apart from Lucien, who simply hasn’t been given a chance to be toxic as a partner yet—which male lead hasn’t been jealous? Rhysand admits to jealousy UTM and when he terrorized her at the manor; he was jealous of Tarquin when she was purposely instructed to seduce him. Cassian roared across the Sidra about his jealousy. Azriel was jealous and resentful of everyone in his bonus chapter. The former yelled and/or were violent. Azriel intimated willingness to violence (however serious he was about it). For Rhysand and Cassian the excuse would be “because mates,” but since Tamlin is not given the excuse of magic, I’m not giving it to them either. Any of the other instances I mentioned would be considered irredeemable red flags for Tamlin, yet for Cassian and Rhysand they are harmless, benign miscommunication trope scenarios.
If people weren’t weird about Tamlin all of this would be chalked up to soapy melodrama, but if people are going to treat him a certain way as a character, then the rest get treated that way too. ACOMAF was supposed to model a healthy partnership in Feysand, not a Vampire Diaries/Buffy-esque dark romance. 
So then, who was Tamlin jealous of that we could see? Bron and Hart? It’s difficult to count Rhysand considering what Tamlin saw him do to her. So, who? This is all based on a half-remembered conversation? 
The bottom line is Tamlin was mentally unwell, and so the thing was to provoke any emotion, because anything could set him off. Confuse him, distract him, unnerve him, out of a desire for revenge. And to use his only friend, who had recently been sexually assaulted by Ianthe, to do it. And so yes, when Tamlin saw the woman he thought was touch-averse due to what she led him to believe happened to her constantly getting touched by Lucien, or seemed to be touched by him, he was confused.
I don’t find any of this sexy.
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waywardnerd67 · 4 months ago
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I Trust You
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Title: I Trust You Summary: A chance meeting leads to midnight confessions and overcoming your deepest fears. Main Characters: Glen Powell, Reader Pairing: Glen Powell x Reader Rating: E - Everyone Warnings: RPF/Fluff/Angst w/ mentions of: touch deprivation, touch aversion Word Count: 3103 A/N: Trying to work out some feelings.
The party was in full swing. People were dancing, drinking and making out throughout the house. I happened to find a secluded corner in the backyard that no one seemed to notice. Still nursing the original beer I grabbed when I arrived hours ago. Watching all the celebrities and models mingling had me sinking further back into my little corner. I didn’t belong among the rich and beautiful, but my best friend insisted I come with her. Taking a look around, I found her sitting on some guy’s lap with her head thrown back in laughter. She belonged here.
I pulled out my phone to see if I could order an Uber home. It wouldn’t have been the first time I left a party without her. She meant well, trying to pull me out of my shell. It had been over a decade since I last felt like the woman I once was and going to some Hollywood party wasn’t going to change me back into her. I had been broken completely and beyond repair.
“Planning an escape?” A low, smooth voice said beside me.
Looking up, I was taken back by the handsome man standing there. Living in L.A. you get use to seeing movie stars walking down the street, but he happened to be one of her favorites.
“I’m Glen, by the way.” He held out his hand.
“(Y/N).” I said, taking his hand and willing mine to stop trembling, “And yes, I think it’s kind of obvious that I don’t belong here. Plus, I’m sure my friend will be taken well care of.”
His bright green eyes followed her pointing finger, “Ah yes, it looks like she has one of my friends wrapped around her finger. He’s harmless and won’t do anything stupid with her.”
“That’s good to know. She’s also a big girl and can take care of herself.” I forced my eyes to look away from him and back to my phone.
He squatted down beside me, “You know if you want to leave, I’d be more than happy to take you home. I haven’t been drinking tonight so consider me your DD.”
I smiled, “That’s kind of you, but I don’t want to pull you away from your own party. That would be kind of rude of me.”
Realization shined in his eyes as he chuckled, “So you do know who I am.”
“Oh yes. You’ve had quite the year with three major movies coming out. Hitman was in the running for my top movie this year until I saw Twisters. Can’t resist a tornado chasing cowboy.”
His laugh covered my skin in goosebumps, “I like that though you could just call me the Tornado Wrangler.” He let his full Texan accent come out, making me smile.
“I prefer cowboy to wrangler. Anyway, I should probably finish ordering this Uber and head out front. It was nice meeting you, cowboy.” This time I held out my hand to him.
He shook it, “Are you sure I can’t convince you to let me drive you home. It would be no problem and then that way I don’t have to worry about you ending up on the ten o’clock news kidnapped by a serial killer.”
I laughed as he still held my hand in his, “Are you sure? I live about thirty minutes away.”
“Let’s go.” He pulled me up from my spot and led me back towards the house.
I sent a text to my best friend letting her know I was heading home. I left out the part that it was Glen Powell who was taking me home. She replied with her usually be careful and talk tomorrow.
Glen handed his phone to me, “Type in your address.” I did, handing it back to him and he took off towards the highway.
It was a beautiful night for it being in August. The cool night breeze felt wonderful after a scorching day. Looking over, I found myself taking in every inch of Glen driving beside me. He had on a Texas Longhorns hat backwards, black tank top and orange colored swim trunks. One arm was resting on his open window while the other held onto the steering wheel. His long fingers kept beat to the song he was playing.
There was a comfortable silence between us and for the first time in a long time I felt relaxed in the presence of another person. Even with my friends or co-workers there was always an underlying layer of anxiety. The need to run from people always being my first gut reaction. Maybe it was the small amount of alcohol I had in my system or a miracle but I found myself drawn to Glen. Or it could be I had fantasized about being with him for years and my inner fangirl was showing herself more than ever.
“Everything okay?” He asked, glancing over at me.
I realized he must have caught me staring, “Yeah, everything is fine. Sorry if I was staring. Sometimes my inner fangirl shows more than I want her to.”
His smile was breathtaking, “Quite alright. Not everyday I can meet a fan who isn’t screaming, crying, throwing up.”
We both laughed, “Has a fan actually thrown up in front of you?” I asked.
He shook his head, “No. Just trying to keep up with all the cool sayings the kids say.”
“You make it sound like you're old and you're not.”
He touched his hand to his chest, “Why thank you for thinking I’m young. I will have you know that I’ll be thirty-six this year.”
I scoffed, “Meh, been there and done that.”
Glen took the exit for my house, “What? There’s no way you’re older than me.”
“Afraid so, cowboy. I will be turning thirty-eight this year. So respect your elder.”
His laugh filled the car, “Wow, I would have never believed you were older. What the hell is your secret?”
The answer was out of my mouth before I could even think about it, “I have no children and no spouse.”
It was the answer that I always said inside my head but never out loud. People asked me all the time how I could still look like I was in my late twenties. I always told them I had a baby face. The real answer was I lived alone and didn’t let anyone close to me. Hence, the no kids or spouse.
“So, no kids and no spouse. Does that also include no boyfriend/girlfriend?”
His question sent a shiver down my spin, “Uh… yeah. There’s no one except for Winchester, my maine coon. He’s all I’ve needed these last few years.”
Why was I being so open with him? I always avoid questions about my personal life with everyone. I looked over to see my house coming into view. A brief moment of relief swept over me knowing I would be safe inside my four walls of security soon. Then a sickening feeling pooled in my gut as Glen pulled into my driveway and shut off his car.
“Thank you for the ride. I appreciate you leaving your own party to take me home.” I unbuckled my seatbelt and placed my hand on the door handle.
“(Y/N), can I tell you something?” He asked, placing his hand on top of mine resting on the seat.
I tried to control my body flinching, but there was no use in it. Touch was always the one thing that set my nerves on edge. If he had noticed me flinched then he didn’t let on to it.
“S-Sure.”
“I’d been working up the courage to talk to you all night. The moment I saw you walk in, I asked my buddy who you were. He told me about your friend being a model and asking about bringing you to my party. Your friend told me that you were shy and to be aware that you don’t often talk to anyone outside your core group of friends.”
My heart was hammering in my chest, “She told you that? What else did she tell you, huh? That I’m a recluse and avoid all social interactions. That my ex completely broke me as a person. That I can’t stand to be around people or to be touched. That I’m all kinds of fucked up and damaged.”
I got out of the car and headed to my front door. My heart shattered into pieces from my best friend telling my darkest secrets to someone, especially to a man like Glen Powell. I made it to the door before I realized my keys were still in her car back at his house.
“Fuck!” I yelled, sliding down to the ground.
“(Y/N), I’m sorry, I swear that’s all she said to me.” He sat down in front of me, “What’s wrong? Other than the obvious.”
I sucked in a shaky breath, “My keys are back at your house in her car. Now not only am I completely embarrassed in front of one of my favorite actors but I’m completely locked out of the only place I feel safe.”
“Do you have an alarm system?” He asked.
“What?” I looked up at him confused, “No, why?”
“I promise I’ll pay for the repairs.” He said before he took off his tank top wrapping it around his fist and sending it through the window next to her door.
“What the hell are you doing?!” I yelled watching as he cleared out the glass then reached inside.
The familiar click of my deadbolt unlocking then Glen pulled out his arm twisting the door knob. It swung open freely and I could feel the tension in my chest release. Standing up, I noticed the blood dripping onto the ground.
“Shit, you’re hurt. Come inside and I can clean you up.” I said carefully walking over the broken glass on either side of the door.
I went into my bathroom to grab the first aid kit while Glen was sitting down at my kitchen table. Unwrapping his shirt from his hand, I found small knicks and shards of glass in his tan skin. The bleeding was coming from a gash on his arm from when he smashed through the window.
“You might need stitches.” I said, cleaning the cut on his forearm.
“You know, it looks way easier and cooler on TV.” He chuckled, “Ow.”
I wrapped his arm with gauze only then realizing he was sitting there shirtless. His well toned chest and abs on full display making my body ache in ways it hadn’t for years. The overwhelming desire to touch him nearly made my knees give out.
“Are you okay? You look like you might pass out.” He asked, grabbing a hold of my hips to balance me out.
A second realization hit me harder than the first. He had touched me and I didn’t flinch. I didn’t jerk away. I couldn’t remember the last time that had happened.
“(Y/N), you’re scaring me.” He whispered, his grip on my hips tightening.
“Y-You’re touching me.” The words were barely above a whisper.
He reached over to grab another chair and guided me onto it, “I’m sorry. I just wanted to make sure you didn’t fall.”
I shook my head, unable to put the correct words together, “I… It’s just… I don’t know how to explain.”
His hands were resting on top of mine, “Whatever it is you can say it. I won’t take offense or have any judgments.”
I had no idea what kind of spell the man in front of me had casted but I found myself wanting to explain everything to him. Looking into his concerned eyes, I just knew I could trust him. Suddenly, I had tears falling down my cheeks.
“(Y/N), you don’t have to tell me anything. I just want to make sure you’re okay.” His thumbs were rubbing against my knuckles sending waves of heat over my skin.
“When I got divorced, I swore off dating. I wanted to work on being on my own, rebuilding my life and not focusing on a relationship.”
He smiled, “That’s smart. I’ve been doing the same thing these last few years.”
“One year turned into two and before I knew it a decade had gone by. No relationships. No kissing, hugging, cuddling, and definitely no sex.” He nodded, continuing to rub my hands as I continued, “What turned from learning to live alone became being alone. I desire to have someone in my life and have even tried to date, but it always turns out wrong.”
“How so?”
I took a deep breath, “Any time I thought about going out on a date I would have a panic attack. The thought of trusting someone to be with them that would lead to touching and that would send me into a complete spiral.”
Glen looked down at our hands, “Is this okay?”
I nodded, “Yes which is why I’m having a deliriously happy and panicked moment right now. I haven’t been touched by anyone in years. Sure, I will half heartedly hug my friend or family but it is always at some kind of distance. Hugging to me is the most intimate form of touch that isn’t sexual.”
His eyebrow arched curiously, “Go on…”
“Think about it. When you hug someone, you are trusting them with your whole body. Their arms wrapped around your body completely. Their whole being being pressed against yours. A hug is sex with your clothes on.”
He smirked, “I have honestly never thought of it like that. I don’t think I’ll ever see hugging in the same way again.”
“Humans need that intimacy. They need to feel that trust in their very soul and act it out physically. I…” I paused, looking into his eyes, “I haven’t felt that in over a decade. My therapist calls it touch deprivation that has formed into touch aversion. I’m desperate to touch someone and be touched, but my brain simply won’t let my guard down enough to allow someone in.”
I watched as his bottom lip disappeared beneath his teeth in deep thought, “The fact that you haven’t flinched or moved away from me is a big moment for you?”
I nodded with a fresh batch of tears flowing down my face, “Yes. I don’t know if it’s because you genuinely seem like a good person from all the interviews I’ve watched or from the good guy characters you’ve portrayed. It could very well be my fangirl delusion masking the pure panic waiting to come out. I don’t know. All I do know is I feel safe around you.”
I looked away feeling my cheeks burning. I had practically told my whole sad truth and ended with a lame love confession. Slowly, the panic was starting to seep through the joy and my hands began to tremble within his.
Glen squeezed my hands then stood up, pulling me up with him, “You feel safe?”
I nodded, not trusting my voice.
“Do you trust me?” He asked as I nodded again without even thinking twice about my answer.
He lifted my hands up behind his neck, interlocking my fingers. I knew what was coming and the rope around my chest began to tighten. My breaths were coming out in rugged puffs as his arms wrapped around my waist. They tightened around me as his head buried into the crook of my neck.
“I got you. I’m not going to let go or let you fall. I’ve got you.” He whispered and a strangled sob escaped my lips, “I’ve got you. I promise nothing will happen to you. I’ve. Got. You.”
My grip around his neck tightened and I pressed my face into his chest. He kept repeating his mantra that he had me and I could feel the rope around my chest being cut away. Finally, I took in a long breath feeling all the tension vanish from my muscles. Glen pulled back enough to look down at me with a brilliant smile on his lips.
“How was that?” He asked.
I could feel my lips spreading into a wide grin, “I… I hugged you. I actually hugged you. I can’t believe it.”
He scooped me up, picking my feet up off the ground and spinning me around. A loud giggle erupted from my lips that surprised me.
“That giggle is music to my ears. Proud of you! I know that must have been a big step to take and I’m grateful you trust me to take it.”
Seeing how happy he was for me stirred up a new emotion, a new line to cross and I found myself pushing myself up on my toes and kissing him. I felt his body tense up and immediately I backed away.
“I’m sorry… I’m so sorry. I got caught-”
Glen pressed his lips firmly against mine once again. The kiss was simple, sweet and ignited an ember of passion within me. When he pulled away, resting his forehead against mine I knew he was holding back.
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“You never, ever have to apologize for kissing me. I’m honored you trust me with your hugs and kisses.”
“I’m really scared I’m going to wake up tomorrow and find this all to be a dream.” I whispered.
He leaned in kissing me once more, “Tell you what. I will sleep on the couch and when you wake up tomorrow I can remind you that this was all very real.”
I knew I shouldn’t push myself any further, but the thought of him being on the couch while I was in my bed didn’t sit right with me. I bit into lip fighting with the urge to lead him upstairs to my room or to agree with him, leaving him downstairs.
“What’s the battle going on in your head?” He chuckled.
“I’m taking a leap of faith.” I said, grabbing his hand and leading him towards the stairs.
Glen stopped us at the bottom step, “(Y/N), are you sure? I don’t want you to feel pressured into anything. I’m fine sleeping on the couch.”
Standing on the step, I was equal height to him, “I’m not saying that there will be cuddling or anything more. The thought of you sleeping down here doesn’t feel right.”
He leaned in, kissing me briefly, “Okay, but I’m going to apologize now if I happen to cuddle you in my sleep. I’m definitely a cuddler.”
“It’s okay. I trust you.” I laced our fingers together and continued walking up to my room.
-----
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daryldixonfanfiction · 5 months ago
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What you fight for! Pt.11 - Pure intentions (*18+)
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Masterlist
Summary: Discovering she's unexpectedly pregnant, Julia struggles with breaking the news to Daryl...
Warnings: *18+, SMUT!, age gap, mutual pining, morning cuddles, fluff, comfort-sex, unprotected p in v, fingering, aftercare, scary situation, creepy men, protective!Daryl, unexpected pregnancy, pregnancy symptoms, aversion to blood, mention of abortion, fear of abandonment, anxiety, panic attack, dissociation, angst.
wc. 5k
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Flinching awake, Julia found herself in Daryl's arms.
His breath blows against the nap of her neck, like the tide, a steady rhythm. He was holding her tightly against him, and she didn't miss his one hand cupping her breast underneath her shirt. It was adorable. Daryl Dixon, completely out seeking comfort in his sleep like a baby. It was unusual to be the first one awake, but she was glad she was, cherishing the innocent moment of his softness.
Careful to not wake him, she turned so she was facing him. And it was a sight to see. His face was laxed with sleep, the harsh lines were not as prominent making him look much younger. And she felt curious, not knowing his age, remembering she had told him hers. It had not thrown him off so he could not be that much older, right? Honestly she didn't think age matters that much and neither did she care if he was. At most she thought him to be a decade older and she didn't see anything wrong with that.
Julia smiled, before pressing her lips to his cheek in a silent thank you. A thank you for him still being here and not regretting her. His confession echoed in her mind just as clearly as he had said it,
“I never regretted you and that's the truth. You hear'n me.”
and she felt so happy, her heart pounding freely in her chest, feeling that part of her that had been hurting melting away with the sunrise glowing on there faces.
Julia didn't know if it was love or what, but how she feels in his presence must be something close to that. And it had been there, slowly growing inside her heart sins that morning. And she had recognized those feelings for him, something significantly deeper, more profound than one would feel for a friend. Staring up at his sleeping face she knew she wanted more than a friendship, that what she truly wanted was what she had longed for…
Love.
Daryl pulled her closer, still in his sleep wanting her flush against him. His face was so close, their foreheads almost touched, and she washed him there closely, tracing the pads of her fingertips along his strong features. And, oh…how she adored him, finding him innocent in his state of sleep. Brushing his bed head out of his face she couldn't help but to feel the attractiveness there, he was a very handsome man. But no. He was far more. She found him beautiful in a way she didn't know a man could be.
She washed him snuggled into her chest, clearly searching for comfort in his sleep, and she wondered what he was dreaming about, if it was a good or a bad dream, but he looked peaceful, so she assumed it must be a pleasant one. Caressing his stubbled cheek she wanted the moment to never end, that they could stay like this forever. But as it got lighter nature called and she thought she could hold it just a bit longer, but it got to the point it felt painful. Carefully unwrapping his heavy arms from her waist she doesn't get far before he pulls her back.
“Were you going?” his deep voice questions.
"Bathroom.”
Daryl sighs with closed eyes, clearly against the idea of letting go, “Can’ it wait, let's sleep some more.”
“I got to go, Daryl.”
With a heavy sigh he opened his eyes, and she washed him back, smiling sweetly up at him.
“What?” Daryl questions.
“Nothing,” Julia smiled.
“What?”
“You slept like a baby, it was adorebulle.”
“Shut up,” embarrassment evident on his face, making Julia stifle a laugh.
Julia grabs her pack to tack with and it’s when she gets up to stand it feels like her body isn't keeping up. With her hands on her knees, slightly bowed over waiting for her vision to return and the lightheadedness to go away, Daryl moves closer,
“You good?”
“Uh, yeah. Think I just got up too fast,” Julia reassured, feeling herself coming back.
A warm hand grabbed her chin, tilting it upwards, “You're pale,” Daryl stated.
And Julia could feel she was but this was nothing new, she had been anemic her whole life so she didn't make a big deal out of it and her answer seemed to ease his worry as he released her chin, beginning to busy himself.
Julia didn't waste any time, heading straight for the bathroom. All the aisles were looted but a small area was left untouched. Female products were almost stocked to the brim with brands upon brands of pads, tampons and hair products. And she didn't think much of it until her eyes landed on the middle shelf. There was almost an audible click in her brain. She felt her mind racing and her body shaking as she stood there before the brands of pregnancy tests.
There was this intense feeling of realization washing over her. That even though she had always been irregular her entire life never had it been this late. No she can’t be - shouldn't she be throwing up if she was, she didn't know. And she certainly didn't understand why there were so many different tests, why couldn't there be just one? It was all too overwhelming and she was starting to jump to conclusions. But she couldn't stand the thought of not knowing in case she was. And she probably wasn't, right?
It almost felt like she couldn't think anymore and in her panic state and her need to pee she snagged a Clearblue week indicator test and a First Response test and locked herself in the bathroom near the back of the store.
Julia sat herself on the toilet with her pants down with the two brands of tests in each hand. She wasn't familiar with brands or which one was best. Did it matter they had expired by a year - she hoped not. Her being an anxious person she felt indecisive in which to pick so she decided to try all of the tests, which all together was six tests. Finishing up she pleased them all face down, letting them develop on top of the toilet lid.
The wait was tormenting and it read she had to wait for 3 minutes. She couldn't stay still for that long, she had to do something in her wait so she did her morning routine, changing undergarments, brushing teeth and fixing her hair. The feeling of doing something normal in a situation like this made her calm somewhat even though she was still shaking.
Taking a deep breath she looked herself in the mirror and she really was pale like Daryl had pointed out, but now it was more likely because she was scared more than anything. With a shaky hand she went for it, flipping the First Response tests over, and to her shock there was an unmistakable strong red line on all three of them, and she just stared as if the lines would disappear if she did so long enough. Then she looked at the Clearblue ones, and to her devastation it said,
Pregnant
3+
Oh, god.
Reading the package over and over again she confirmed she was 6 weeks pregnant and she have had no idea, having completely ignored all the signs.
Julia almost collapsed backwards into the sink as her mind made sense of it. But it wasn't translating - it wasn't even computing as a fact. But the positive tests were there, clear as day, staring right back at her…And it was very real.
Julia covered her mouth, eyes watering as she stared back at herself in the mirror as the world-shattering news sunk in. It feels almost like being given the news that someone was dead...That feeling of reality slipping away like it didn't exist. Her chest expanded suddenly, inhaling a deep breath to keep her from blacking out right then and there - and she looked down at herself, her eyes resting on her stomach. She took her jacket off and in her shirt she backed up so she could see her abdomen in the mirror, turning sideways and smoothed down the fabric there. It was way too early but she was already beginning to show. She could see the little curve there, feeling like it was staring right back at her - and all this time she had mistaken it as bloating. But what about the period of pain she had been feeling and her tender breast? Was it supposed to hurt? Was it normal to feel like this - and she wished she had all the answers, but she didn't, of course she didn't.
It was alive in there. A small thing that was a part of herself and a part of the man she had slept with and woken up to - no… it was a part of Daryl.
Julia felt tears in her eyes. Stupid - stupid - stupid, how could she have been such an idiot? They hadn't - they hadn't been safe at all. Not even a little bit. And why hadn't they been safe? Well...none of it had been planned - it had just…happened. Both desperately seeking comfort in one another without the thought of consequence. The thought hadn't even crossed her mind in either of the moments they had spent together - because she had craved it so badly. But then again, had Daryl not thought about it, or had he just not cared?
Julia felt like she might fall over again - the thought of Daryl...of him knowing - of it actually happening…Oh, god. She felt sick to her stomach of just thinking about it. They had barely begun a journey of knowing each other, but there was a connection there between them that had begun to come to the surface that felt far deeper than just sleeping with one another.
Her hands moved underneath the fabric of her shirt to press down her stomach, and she shut her eyes, and it felt… different, it was definitely something growing inside of her.
Several tears fell just at the feeling and the notion there was a very real baby in there, and when she opened them again she had to sit down on the floor before she would fall over. She was completely devastated, having thought things would be okay and happy, but of course something would destroy…she didn't want it to end.
She didn't know if she could stand yet, it almost felt like she actually would throw up on the floor. And she wondered if that was a sign of morning sickness or because of the anxiety?
She got on her berings slowly, vision tilting just slightly as she held herself up with one hand against the wall. Knowing if she took any longer Daryl would come knocking. So she calmed herself as much as she could, drying her tears and putting on her jacket and pack back on, discarding the evidence in the trash bin before heading out.
Walking back to the same aisle, feeling like she deserves some sort of control over the situation. Because she just wanted to feel like she had a choice and she knew she had to make one before it was too late. She wasn't sure of what to take for an abortion, if any of the over the counter pills worked and she felt like a shameful person as she grabbed an emergency contraceptive. Standing there and just staring at the box in her hand she was still making that choice in her head - and she just didn't know what to do. Did it make her a bad person if she took it? Was it irresponsible? Immoral?
On the back of the package it read, DO NOT USE: If you're already pregnant (because it will not work).
And of course it wouldn't. It wasn't an abortion pill after all, it was to prevent pregnancy after conception. If she wanted an abortion she would have to find a pharmacy, and how was she gonna explain that to Daryl? How was she gonna explain she was already 6 weeks p-
Voices of men entered the store. Julia watched the group of men begin to go through the shelves, looking for food probably and they didn't seem to know they were there. And speaking of, where was Daryl?
Julia continued to hide, staying silent as she carefully begun to move backwards, away from the intruders that loudly chatted amongst themselves and she didn't really listen to anything they said until,
“Thought you said there would be a girl here?” One of the men complained.
“No, I said I saw a girl and a man heading this way.” the other man clarified.
“You claim her?”
“Boys remember the rules. There is no such thing as claiming, only free game,” another man said and all the men started laughing.
Her stomach sank, the feeling of horror had her frozen in place. These were bad people, very bad people and if they were to find her, she imagined very horrifying things would happen.
There was movement behind her and before she could make a sound, large hands clasped over her mouth. She fought against it, tried to scream for Daryl, but she was left defenseless against the strong body. The only sounds that could be heard were the men talking and moving around the store, and her panicked breaths against the hands silencing her. Then one hand moved away and she was being turned around, faced with the man she was silently screaming for… The father of her unborn child.
Daryl.
Thank God.
Julia stopped fighting against him, looking up at him with fearful eyes. The thought she was carrying his child in a world of the walking dead was terrifying for many reasons. She could tell he was scared too, though his fear stemmed from adrenaline and survival to get them out of there, because… he didn't know.
He motioned for her to stay silent with a finger against his lips, Julia nodded and his hand released. She could see him thinking of a plan, because how could they escape unnoticed, and there were many, 8 if she counted wright, all armed. But then she remembered the window in the bathroom, they were close enough to make it without being seen.
Julia pointed towards the bathroom behind the aisle of feminine products and drew a window in the air with her hands. Daryl seemed to understand what she was referring to and he nodded, leading the way to the bathroom.
With the door closed behind them, Daryl opened the small tinted window, then motioned for her to make it true. Glancing towards the trash bin before stepping on top of the toilet lid Julia hoists herself up and out. Daryl passed his bag and crossbow before following, careful to not to make a sound he closed the window shut, to not reveal their escape.
“Go, go, go,” Daryl ordered, and they rushed into the forest away from the band of men.
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Hands in her pockets she could feel how the heavy weight of anxiety loomed.
The more she thought about it, which she had done all day, finding out she was pregnant felt like either choice she was left to mourn something, it already felt like she was. She didn't even know if she was ready to take care of another life even though she had always wanted to be a mother, be married and have a family of her own. But the world was far different then when she had those innocent dreams.
Daryl turned to face her, and his pause almost made her trip over her own feet. He was staring down at her, his gaze making her feel naked, like he could tell what was wrong. With that same expression when he had told her she looked pale he said,
“I don’t like that color on your face.”
And of course her face was still pale, probebully paler for him to comment about it, but she was feeling unwell for reasons she could not tell him yet.
“I’m fine, let's keep going,” she lied.
“We're setting camp here,” Daryl declared, not even bothering to call her out and began to skin the squirrels he'd been hunting along the way.
And of course Daryl didn't buy it, she was the worst of liers there was. Their close encounter this morning had scared her deeply and jumpy all around, which she also knew he had picked up on. He seemed to notice things most people didn't, but she was relieved he didn't push for the truth.
Concentrating on tending the fire as Daryl gutted the animals Julia could not watch on like she usually did. Feeling like the sight of blood or just the notion of it made her sick. It was ironic that it was first after finding out she was pregnant she began feeling symptoms.
Only when eating did the sickness stop. She had been starving all day, the feeling of having warm food in her stomach felt so, so good.
“Slow down girl, no one's gonna take it from ya,” Daryl said from across the fire.
“This is slow.” Julia said, food stuffed in her mouth and she didn't care for manners, she was starving.
Throwing the bones into the fire it didn't take long for that heavy feeling to return, and she just wished for it to leave her alone. Hugging her pack feeling terribly overwhelmed by the events of the day she hadn't noticed Daryl watching her. He moved from across the fire, kneeling on one knee in front of where she was sitting on the cold ground, and as if he was speaking to an injured animal he said,
“Julia. Hey, look at me.”
Slowly her teary eyes looked into his. His look was one of concern, and deeply so. She knew he couldn't fully understand the visual display of emotions nor the reason behind the fear she felt - he probably thought it was a response from their close encounter with the men in the store, which was parsley true. He reached out, wiping a tear away from her cheek and said,
“Let’s go to bed, okay?”
Julia nodded weekly “Okay.”
The fire was soon to burn out, the last ambers drifting off into the night. Huddling up against one another, having zipped their sleeping bags together Julia laid turned from him, letting tears fall along her nose down into the bedding. The smallest of sniffles escaped her. Daryl moved closer, pulling her into his arms, his body warm and comforting against her. Looking up at him as she stared into his blues, taking in his lovely features. He looked so soft in moments like these, she had almost forgotten what was underneath that rugged exterior and what he was capable of. His watercolor eyes looked almost like a creature that would never harm anyone, especially when he was looking at her, with all his kindness and worry.
“Way you cryin’?” He asked, gently drying the wetness away.
He was such a sweet man.. So, why was she so scared of telling him? She didn't know - she didn't know anything anymore. Her world had turned upside down, her bubble had finally burst, and she was just too overwhelmed to think straight and, and…
“I don’t know, I don’t know,” she managed to tell true the tears that just kept on coming.
She was un ugly crier, probably making him feel put off by her distraught state. But he was not put off, more so determined than anything to find the reason behind the tears, and she didn't feel ready to tell him yet.
“Why don’t you know?” he questioned further.
But the tears worked against her, not allowing her to speak.
“Yah scared?” he tried, continuing to wipe her face.
And maybe it was evident that she was, because faces said so much, gave so much away. Especially hers.
“You don’t gotta be scared no more, they're not gonna find us,” his deep voice was so very gentle.
But she could not shake the feeling, and it was as if all the terrifying experience with men tore into her like a sharp pain shooting through her chest. Shaky hands reached out, holding onto the fabrike off his chest like a lifeline, the fer poured out before she new it,
“No! They are gonna find us! And - and, they'll kill you and then they are gonna rape me!”
Only after her words came to life did she realize she admitted to a fear so deep within herself she shocked herself. She felt him stiffen to her words, his heart beating louder as he held her as if he was gonna lose her.
“No, no,” his deep voice rumbled from his chest. “Nothing like that’s gonna happen. No one's gonna hurt ya and nobodys’ gonna kill me.”
“You don't know that. Didn't you hear what they said? They said I was ‘free game and-”
Daryl moved on top of her, caging her in and his eyes looked intense making her worry she had upset him somehow. Tears spilled from the corner of her eyes down to her ears as she stared up at him. With a more serious tone he said almost darkly,
“No. Yah ain't.”
It felt like she couldn't breathe. It sounded like a confession. He didn't outright say it. But why else would he so straightforwardly denie the idea, as if the thought angered him.
Oh.
Did he already see her as is? That would explain the protectiveness, the anger and the gentleness in his touch. Her mouth trembled and the softness in his eyes returned. He searched her face before leaning down and enveloping her in a kiss. The kiss so soft she could feel the pure intentions behind it. It calmed her to the point her tears stopped falling.
Daryl pulled away, resting his forehead against hers, Julia closed her eyes as well. The feeling of his warm breath against her face was pleasant against the cold air as he said almost pleadingly,
"Please stop crying. Just tell me what to do.”
Julia couldn't help herself as her arms wrapped around his neck, and it felt like she could not word what she needed. He let her hold him close in response to her desperate need of comfort. She opened her mouth as if to tell him about the baby. But she just couldn't get the words to leave her. She was so scared. But she needed him now more than ever. His protection, his touch, his voice, him underneath her skin, but even that wouldn't be near enough.
She felt him lean into her ear, “Tell me,” he begged.
She unwrapped herself from the embrace, her hands resting on either side of his face. Gazing up at him she felt shy to say what she wanted. He was staring right back at her, as if reading her, making her feel like an open book underneath his gaze. But what she also felt was his desire hardening against her thigh. His eyes had darkened with lust, filled with that same desire they had shared last night.
He seemed to understand what she was asking for. That same pulse began to beat between her legs and she spread them apart, welcoming him. It seemed to have heightened his own desire as his lower body moved against hers and he did it so very carefully, gauging if she would stop him. But she wouldn't. This is what she wanted. All of him inside of her.
With her hands still on his face she kissed him. His tongue entered her mouth and before she knew it he had taken control, their tongues dancing and it felt like he always was in a desperate need for more. His hips rocked against her front and the feeling of his hard length had her walls squeezing around nothing. Wetness pooled like a poodle, staining her jeans and she wondered if he could feel it. His hand traveled down, cupping her mound she gasped into his mouth. She could feel him undo her jeans, assisting she lifted her bottom and with one swift motion they were pulled down and all the way off, tossing them out without breaking the kiss.
Daryl had her panting as he pulled away for the need of oxygen. She washed on as he pulled his jacket and shirt off, leaving himself in a sleeveless button down, reminding her how strong and broad he was. Just as fast his lips returned to hers and she melted into his mouth, his hand cupped her and she just wanted him inside already. It felt like he was teasing her and probably enjoying her desperate state, feeling the wetness over her undergarment. Painfully slow his hand went underneath the fabrike, thicke fingers going along her folds almost curiously at how wet she was. Just with his fingers down there it felt so good she had to pull away from the kiss and when he dipped his fingers inside of her, going for a spot she had no idea existed inside of her, had her within seconds away from climax.
She could feel him washing her, that intense feeling building and belding before it- His hand clasped over her mouth before the moan escaped her. Julia swore he had her seeing stars, feeling almost lightheaded as she came down. A kiss was pressed to her forehead and she gazed up at him only wanting more.
The unmistakable sound of him undoing his pants has her stomach flutter in anticipation, her legs spreading even wider as he moves closer to lube himself with the wetness. Just as he aliens himself, feeling his head pressed against her entrance he paused, whispering,
“You gotta be quiet, okay.”
Julia nodded, wrapping her arms around his neck and before she could ready herself her promise went out the window. His hand clasped over her mouth once more, his other hand cradling her head. Entering her all the way she could feel how her walls adjust to the intrusion. It was a tight fit but she liked the feeling of him stretching her out.
Daryl pulled almost all the way out before he pushed himself inside, beginning a steady pace. Every rock of his hips had her making sounds into his hand, making him remind her to keep quiet. But how could she stay silent when he was making her feel so good.
Daryl buried his face into her shoulder, heavy breaths of pleasure leaving him. Her legs wrapped around him, sending him deeper. His breath became more laborde as she did so and she could feel him holding himself back, not allowing his own sounds of pleasure coming to life.
The hand covering her mouth was exchanged into sloppy kisses. The pace slowed for just a moment letting her breath for a moment before his hand returned and the pace of his hips as well. Pressure built in her stomach as he went faster, his breaths turning into grunts. But he kept them low and controlled. Daryl was locked in. Eyes closed, chasing after his climax. His hair had become dampened with sweat and in her pleasure she takes in his rugged, wetherd face, his masculine beauty exudes from him. Before she knew it she was on the edge of her second climax, her face turning hot, the intense feeling building up before it would explode like a supernova. The feeling was so intense she couldn't make a sound, legs shaking intensely as she went true it, feeling the wave all true her lower body, down to her feet. It was overwhelming in a pleasurable way, having her almost feeling drunk as she came down. Opening her eyes only to be met by his piercing blue ones as he continued to move inside of her. He seemed to like washing her as much as he liked to kiss her and it felt so good to be wanted.
She could see him fighting it, as if to prolong his chase. But she could see the shift behind his eyes, the primal instinct to finish burning inside of him. As if he couldn't take it anymore he thrusts his hips harder, the pace overstimulating, bringing tears to her eyes. Their flesh collided inside the sleeping bag and she worried the noises would alert nearby walkers.
With an animalistic grunt he pulled out, finishing on her thigh. Their panting breaths filled the night as he stopped himself from completely collapsing on top of her. He reached clumsily for something in his back pocket and cleaned his mess off her thigh, the aftercare sweet she couldn't help but smile.
Puting the rag away he pressed the softest kiss she had ever received from him, closing her eyes she melted into it, completely worked out and ready for bed. With an arm he pulled her into his chest, his chin resting on top of her head and this was where she felt the safest she had ever felt in her entire life. In the arms of the man she trusted her life with, that also was the man that had made her pregnant and had no idea because she had failed to tell him.
It was nice, the unintentional comfort he provided, holding her as if her world hadn't just turned upside down and their shared journey wouldn't come to an end. Because she knew when he found out everything would change and she had a feeling it would break her heart.
And that was when she decided to not tell him. That for the sake of the future, for her selfish desires for love she would simply not tell him. Under no circumstances was he to find out until they found the doctors and finished what she was set out to do. And Julia hoped he would not hate her for it, that he would find it within himself to understand.
With her ear against his beating heart and his steady breath she drifted away from the harsh reality she would be woken to. But for now she would be with the man she just began to know and love.
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Pt.12 Masterlist
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lethalchiralium · 2 years ago
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Tattooed Heart | Simon “Ghost” Riley Headcanon
a/n: this is purely a response to Angel, this is how the 141 reacts to the knowledge of Simon “Ghost” Riley having a daughter. (alejandro, rudy, laswell, and könig meeting winnie soon! also simon meeting you soon as well :)!)
warnings: mentions of afab!reader, cussing, mentions of sex, mentions of death, gaz and price did not know simon knew how to have sex
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- Obviously, Price is the first to see the video. And of course, he’s absolutely speechless. Hearing Ghost speak in a soft voice was one thing, but seeing evidence that Ghost has 1. Had sex. 2. Got someone pregnant. 3. Has a daughter, was another thing. (He really thought Ghost has never had sex because of his whole aversion to physical touch.)
- And of course, as soon as Ghost gets on base, he is hunting his ass down. (“Since when do you have a baby?!” “Since November.”)
- Price does not ask about Winnie unless he knows absolutely no one is around. No one can eavesdrop, no one will know. Asks Simon about what color she likes best, if he really wears the mask around his daughter. (Which Simon answers, “She likes green right now. And yes. She knows me with or without it.”) He also asks if he can ever meet her. (“Someday, Captain. But not today.”)
- Price meets her on her first birthday. He bought her a little light green bear and a necklace “for when she gets older”. (It’s a Price family heirloom. Price considers Ghost to be one of his closest friends, and doesn’t really want a family himself so why not give it to someone who will appreciate it.) (“Thank you, John.” “It’s no problem, Ghost.”)
- Price learns about Winnie’s mom just before she’s two. She had died in an ambulance after a car crash when she was pregnant, Winnie had to be born via c-section two months early. (The woman was a ‘close friend’, Simon was coming to terms with being a father since she had told him two weeks before she died. He doesn’t speak her name.) She’s a happy child, always loving seeing ‘Uncle John’. Price is all smiles whenever he sees Winnie. (which used to be rare, but Simon has grown to truly trust Price.)
- Right after Winnie turns two, Simon asks Price to be her godfather. Price cried. He babysits sometimes for Simon when his pretty nanny has to go out of town and is always so surprised at how obsessed Winnie is with Simon. (“Where’s Daddy, Uncle John! I want him right now!” “Honey, Dad’s workin’. I’m supposed to be working too, can you- Ah!” Winnie smacks him in the face with some of the kid paint she has. She was ‘scolded’ by Simon when he got home (Simon told her to do it again when Price is being ‘mean’.)) Price would do anything for his goddaughter, he would burn the world for that little girl.
- The Task Force would see the video by accident. (At this point, Winnie is almost 4 and for the sake of this whole thing, TF141 is created BEFORE the events of MW2.) Price was drunk at a bar with Gaz and Soap, scrolling through his phone before saying, “Aww, look at my goddaughter.” And he plays the video.
- Gaz is just fucking bewildered. He’d sober up immediately and take the phone from Price, jaw dropped. “What the fuck.” He’d hand the phone to Soap, who is fucking speechless. (And of course, Price would snatch it away and immediately recognize his wrongdoing and say, “You lot stole my phone and saw that video, I did not show it to ya. I am not in on this.” Trying to get himself out of trouble because he knows that it’s incredibly difficult for Simon to let anyone meet his baby. So that would make it VERY easy for Simon to revoke Price’s privileges, albeit not for super long but long enough for Price to regret his whole life.)
- “Ghost has had sex?!” Was Gaz’s first response. (Price uttered a quiet, “That’s what I said.”) And he pushes his beer away, looking at Price while Price looks straight ahead. “He has a baby.”
- “Holy shite.” Soap would then say, tossing the phone onto the bar. “Can we meet her?”
- “It took me almost ten months to meet her myself, I doubt you two will ever.” Price answered, Gaz just sits back in his chair and goes, “Ghost has had sex.” And Soap goes, “Ghost has a baby.”
- When Soap and Gaz arrive back on base, practically dragging a very piss drunk Price while being piss drunk themselves, Ghost meets them. Gaz and Soap both stare at him and Ghost says, “What happened?”
- “You had sex.” “You have a baby.” Ghost looks at Price. Price looks at Ghost. Ghost knows he did it. He doesn’t say a word before he takes Price from the two bumbling idiots and says, “Go to bed.” (Ghost chews Price out the next morning. Price knows he deserves it and does not say one word.)
- Gaz follows Ghost around the next day, asking questions about his daughter out of earshot of others. (“I don’t know what you’re on about, Sergeant. Don’t you have paperwork to do?”) Gaz grumbles when he finally gives up, saying that the video probably wasn’t real and just Price messing with them.
- Soap is a lot more annoying about it. Just like Gaz and Price, he only asks questions when no one is around. (in fear of his life but he would never admit that.) “How old is she?” “Babies are so precious. My sister has one. I love my niece.” “Does she like ducks? My niece likes ducks.”
- Ghost would give him a look of “Shut the fuck up before you get smacked the fuck up.” Soap doesn’t care. “Babies are so fun!”
- It would take just one day on patrol back at their base in England for Soap to trail Ghost home and see the girl for himself. She kisses his mask and hugs him tightly, he pats her back and heads into a house, seeing a very slim glimpse of a beautiful woman. (He reports back to Price and Gaz, freaking out. “HE HAS A WOMAN IN HIS HOUSE.” and Price is like, “Uh, yes… He has a nanny.”) (Gaz is still very much bewildered that Ghost, the untouchable man, has had sex so he does not comment on a woman being in his house.)
- A year later, after both Gaz and Soap have stopped pestering Ghost about Winnie, on her fifth birthday, unbeknownst to Gaz and Soap, Price invites them to the ‘party’. Soap immediately recognizes the building as Simon’s house when he, Gaz, and Price drive towards it. “You tricked us!” “I did.” “We don’t have presents!” “Yes, you do.” Price shoves small bags into their hands.
- Simon opens the door and actually lets them in. Gaz and Soap are absolutely dumbfounded when they enter the house. (Of course it’s in almost the middle of nowhere because he a paranoid man.)
- And here comes Winnie - dressed in pink with the green bear Price got her in her hands. “Uncle John!” She screams, and attacks his leg, clinging to it while Price just laughs. He walks around and chats with Ghost while Soap and Gaz just stand and watch the little girl.
- She would detach herself from Price’s leg before climbing onto the couch next to Gaz and smacking her hands onto his cheek and saying, “Friend.” Gaz would immediately burst into tears and she would hug him around his neck, Gaz would stand and carry her towards Ghost. (He’d be silently pointing at her to Price and mouthing, “Look!” He’s in absolute shambles. He thought that the Lieutenant’s daughter would be conditioned to not like strangers.)
- Winnie holds onto Gaz for dear life and does not like Soap at first. As soon as Soap was near, she would reach for Ghost. He would take her from Gaz without a word and let her squeeze her arms around his neck. (Soap’s face drops but Price pats his arms. “Don’t worry, she didn’t necessarily like me in the beginning either.” Soap feels better then.)
- Ghost would thank them all for coming to visit after they eat, he herded them towards the door and Soap goes, “Where’s the missus?”
- Ghost opened the door, gesturing for them to leave. “Wouldn’t you like to know?” And ‘slams’ the door in their faces. (Price bursts out laughing and Gaz is still all smiles. Soap is defeated.)
- And all is normal when they return to base the next day, except when Ghost is sat beside Soap. He fishes a light pink paper out of his vest pocket, hands it to him. Soap opens it and sees a drawing of an obviously mohawked stick figure and a smaller stick figure wearing pink. And in big, childish letters, Soap was written and pointed towards the mohawked one, and Winnie pointed to the smaller one. He almost cried. (Ghost then pulled out his phone, and opened his photos. “Here’s my girls.” He then showed a picture of you, holding a ten month old Winnie. (Ghost would be lying if he said that wasn’t when he fell in love with you.) “Don’t ever ask again.” “Sir yes sir.”)
———
Copyright © 2022 lethalchiralium. All rights reserved.
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mercillery · 6 months ago
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Falling Devil Yandere Alphabet
WARNINGS: GENDER NOT SPECIFIED + YANDERE THEMES + HUMAN READER + MENTIONS OF CANNIBALISM + NOT PROOFREAD + AT SOME POINT I JUST GAVE UP + OOC I THINK OOPS
NOTES: I literally watched Shrek, Hotel Transylvania, and Ninja turtles 1 and 2 while making this. It’s ridiculous how easily I get distracted when writing but whatever.
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A = Affection (How do they show their love and affection? How intense would it get?)
She may have existed since the beginning of time—I forgot whether this was implied or theorized—but I think someone like her is resistant to influence. let alone by such powerful emotions as love or obsession, or in this instance, both...
Thus, she finds herself engulfed in the boundless depths of her obsessive love for you, a sensation she embraces wholeheartedly. She revels in the overpowering emotions she feels, expressing her affection through tangible acts of care—such as babying you. You could say she embodies the role of a devoted butler or caregiver. While she also yearns to demonstrate her affection by preparing meals for you, she respects your aversion to the idea of consuming human food—since you’re literally a human yourself.
B = Blood (How messy are they willing to get when it comes to their darling?)
For someone typically so polite and mature, she won't hesitate to spill blood in your name if necessary.
Key word: If
If anyone or anything dares to come between you and her or threatens your safety, she will paint every corner of the earth with their blood and guts. There is no force on earth, in heaven, or in hell that she will allow to endanger you or her relationship with you. So, if you wish to avoid a gruesome bloodshed, you better remove that person yourself before she takes matters into her own hands. With that being said, she takes both your safety and the sanctity of your relationship with her extremely seriously.
C = Cruelty (How would they treat their darling once abducted? Would they mock them?)
No, she would not mock or make fun of you in any way. There's not much to elaborate on here. Just know that she won't make you feel bad for being so easily abducted by her. On the contrary, she’ll only express her pleasure and satisfaction that you’re finally with her. She'll gently caress your teary cheeks, her touch tender but completely dismissive of your tears, focusing solely on the joy she feels at finally having you all to herself.
D = Darling (Aside from abduction, would they do anything against their darling's will?)
I have a strong feeling that she likes to baby you a lot. Do you know what this means?
This means that she'll hover over you, constantly attending to your every need as if you're incapable of managing on your own. Each morning, instead of allowing you the autonomy to dress yourself, she takes charge, dressing you in outfits she deems the cutest. It's akin to a child's intense fixation on their cherished doll, with her playing the role of the child and you, unwittingly, cast as the doll. It's a twisted dynamic where her sense of power is derived from your perceived reliance on her, blurring the lines between caregiver and captor.
To add to that, her control extends beyond mere clothing choices. Understanding your human needs, she recognizes the necessity of regular meals for your well-being. However, unfortunately for you, her culinary expertise lies in cooking humans for sustenance. Despite this, she will persistently coax you into sampling her cuisine, assuring you that it is as delectable as any other meat. But don’t worry, she refrains from actually preparing the meal unless you explicitly express a desire to try it. And should you muster the courage to taste her food, it's important that you maintain a facade of enjoyment, for the consequences of expressing your dislike for the dish she so lovingly prepared for you are dire. In essence, she wouldn’t force you to eat her dishes—but if you express wanting to try them, you better finish it all.
E = Exposed (How much of their heart do they bare to their darling? How vulnerable are they when it comes to their darling?)
She's not particularly emotive, nor does she wear her feelings on her sleeve. It's not that she's ashamed of her emotions—she simply tends to maintain a cool and composed demeanor most of the time. However, since she's fallen deeply in love with you, she has no qualms about revealing the extent of her love. The only emotion she may hesitate to display around you is her anger. Nevertheless, she'll willingly show you her vulnerability.
F = Fight (How would they feel if their darling fought back?)
Honestly? The first few times you rebel against her, she'll stay composed, not lashing out at you. However, if you start fighting against her consistently…
She’ll be offended. Very offended.
She's given you all her patience, tolerance, love, and support—and this is how you repay her? By infuriating her with your constant disobedience? How disrespectful of you! She isn't one to tolerate such defiance. You've tested her limits, and now you must face the consequences. Prepare for some very strict scolding from the chef herself.
G = Game (Is this a game to them? How much would they enjoy watching their darling try to escape?)
Absolutely, this isn't a game to her, not in the slightest. She doesn't joke about this—her relationship with you is far from anything resembling a game. She regards the relationship with the utmost importance and doesn't even entertain the thought of trivializing it as such.
You're sorely mistaken if you think she derives any amusement from watching you attempt to escape her loving embrace. Because spoiler alert: she doesn't. I'll concede that, depending on the ingenuity of your escape plan, she might be slightly impressed. However, her predominant emotions will be disappointment and frustration at your decision to flee from her and the love she offers.
H = Hell (What would be their darling's worst experience with them?)
Anytime you’re eating.
She's the sole creator of your meals—breakfast, lunch, dinner, you name it. After all, she's literally hell's chef—whose culinary prowess could possibly rival hers? Admittedly, her dishes typically feature ingredients of the human variety, but just because you're human doesn't mean you can't partake! However, since she respects your reluctance to try them, she prepares normal food for you (steak, spaghetti, soup, or whatever). Surprisingly, despite her expertise in cooking humans, her skills extend seamlessly to crafting dishes that humans typically enjoy, something you’re very grateful for! Otherwise, if not for that, you’re sure she would’ve made you a cannibal long ago.
The reason I consider this your worst experience with her is because every single time she insists on coaxing you into trying her food, persuading you to try something different, and promising it will delight your taste buds. It gets to the point of annoyance. Once, in an attempt to end her relentless persuasion, you reluctantly accept—only to discover she had prepared a rather huge meal made entirely of human flesh. You're left with the choice of either eating it all or giving it a try but then spitting it out, leading to voicing your dislike of the food she so lovingly made, which ultimately results in her extreme frustration—which then escalates to the point of endangering your life, making it an unforgettable and traumatizing ordeal.
I feel like this part didn’t make much sense. Oops.
I = Ideals (What kind of future do they have in mind for/ with their darling?)
Her vision of a future with you isn't unreasonable, at least not in her eyes. All she desires is your total and complete obedience, love, and loyalty. She envisions a time when you abandon every trace of rebellion and disobedience from your soul, mind, and body, allowing her to love and care for you without resistance. She wants to choose your outfits, pamper you with her affection, follow you everywhere, and shower your face with kisses. The ultimate fulfillment of her dream would be you finally letting go of your human morals and indulging in the delicious meals she prepares: limbs and body parts of humans.
J = Jealousy (Do they get jealous? Do they lash out or find a way to cope?)
When our beloved chef is jealous, she maintains a veneer of professionalism. Well, kind of. She confronts the source of her jealousy without hesitation, but there's an unmistakable edge to her demeanor. You can sense her annoyance, even if she tries to mask it. Think of it like this: she addresses the situation directly, yet her words and actions carry a subtle, simmering irritation that makes her feelings clear.
"Excuse me, this is my partner," she'll assert calmly, her tone tinged with a hint of annoyance, her closed eyes twitching slightly in suppressed anger.
Now, depending on the response of the other person, things can unfold in one of two ways: she unleashes her wrath, using her powers to invert gravity on the offender, therefore making that person fall upwards into the sky, inevitably plunging them into the very door that leads to hell. Or she’ll opt for a warning, her tone conveying the gravity of the situation without resorting to immediate punishment.
K = Kisses (How do they act around or with their darling?)
She remains the same: polite and composed. However, some wouldn't be mistaken if they claimed to notice a faint smile on her face whenever you're around—a silent expression of her pleasure and relief at having you near. Regarding possession, it's likely evident to most people. Depending on the situation, like when she's on the hunt for humans who have the ingredients required for whatever dish she’s working on, she might have her arm firmly around your waist or wrist—perhaps to the extent that you're lifted slightly off the ground, unable to touch it anymore. She's tall, very tall, and she's aware that there will come a point where you can't keep up with her anymore, so she occasionally employs one of those long arms of hers to lift you off the ground, if only just slightly.
L = Love letters (How would they go about courting or approaching their darling?)
She wouldn’t. She strikes me as someone who watches from afar.
But the moment she realizes the intensity of her feelings for you, she won't hesitate for a second. She'll approach you directly and declare, "You belong to me now."
No matter your answer, you're hers now.
M = Mask (Are their true colors drastically different from the way they act around everyone else?)
Absolutely not. She couldn't care less about who witnesses her overwhelming love and obsession for you. If anyone were to dare to call her out on it, she'd simply turn her head in their direction, her eyes closed as always, and dismiss them, urging them to give you and her some space.
N = Naughty (How would they punish their darling?)
Scolding. That's her method of discipline. She'll be as stern as necessary during scoldings, but physical harm is off the table. Still, she's strict and unforgiving in her approach. You might initially believe that a mere scolding won't affect you much, but trust me, when she scolds you, you'll find yourself feeling surprisingly remorseful. She has a way of making you question yourself, leaving you wondering why you feel so guilty after her scolding is over. In short, you may underestimate the impact of her scolding at first, but eventually, it starts to hit you.
O = Oppression (How many rights would they take away from their darling?)
Honestly, she wouldn't strip away many rights from you. The only ones she'll take are your right to privacy and your right to choose your own outfits, as she insists on selecting and dressing you herself. If you dare to voice complaints, she'll simply brush them aside, reminding you that she's seen countless human bodies—after all, she literally cooks humans.
P = Patience (How patient are they with their darling?)
She's patient enough to tolerate a few complaints from you, but insults are where she draws the line. Just keep yourself in her good graces, and the chances of her becoming angry with you decrease significantly. By staying on her good side, I mean offering her your complete and unwavering obedience, love, and loyalty.
Q = Quit (If their darling dies, leaves, or successfully escapes, would they ever be able to move on?)
If you were to meet your demise, she'd make it her mission to avenge you and ensure that whoever was responsible for your death pays the ultimate price. She'll deliver a punishment far worse than hell itself. So rest assured, if you were to meet such a fate, she'd be seeking revenge in your name. Until she looks in every corner and crevice of the earth to avenge your death, she won’t be able to move on.
The only time I can see her actually moving on from your death is if you were to die under natural circumstances.
If you were to escape, resentment would begin to fester and swell within her heart at your sudden departure. The idea of her beloved leaving her so abruptly would fuel an ever-growing sense of bitterness within her. Each passing moment would only serve to intensify this gnawing feeling of resentment, pulling at her heartstrings with increasing force day by day. Consequently, she won't be able to move on until she finds you again. However, her motivation for seeking you out would no longer stem from her immense love but from the overwhelming resentment and anger that now consumes her.
R = Regret (Would they ever feel guilty about abducting their darling? Would they ever let their darling go?)
No, she doesn't experience a single iota of guilt when she abducts you. Guilt isn't an emotion she's familiar with, nor does she see a reason to entertain it. After all, why should she feel guilty? She now has the person she loves most closer to her than ever, and if anything, she's pleased by the outcome.
Moreover, she won't ever release her hold on you. You'll never be granted freedom from her grasp until the day you draw your final breath, which will likely occur due to natural circumstances such as old age, a heart attack, or any other form of disease.
S = Stigma (What brought about this side of them? childhood, curiosity, etc?)
Curiosity.
As a devil who typically sees humans as nothing more than necessary ingredients for her dishes, she doesn't usually care or think much of them. That is, until she meets you. You must have caught her eye because there was something undeniably different about you, something that sparked her curiosity and ultimately caused her to fall for you—hard. I'm talking about the kind of fall where she face-plants the floor type hard.
T = Tears (How do they feel about seeing their darling scream, cry, and/or isolate themselves?)
She still doesn't feel a drop of guilt when she sees you cry, isolate yourself, or scream. The closest she ever comes to guilt is disappointment—and guilt and disappointment aren't even in the same realm, so you can already imagine how that goes. However, she won't feel disappointment toward you unless you scream; in that case, her disappointment is directed at you. If you isolate yourself or cry, she'll be disappointed in herself for making you feel this way—I guess you could say this is her own way of feeling "guilt." In those instances, she'll try to comfort you—so that's a small consolation. But if you scream, she’ll simply tell you to knock it off.
U = Unique (Would they do anything different from the classic yandere?)
My mind is actually so blank at this point that I cannot think, so please just take this: She won't ever physically harm you—not even mentally.
V = Vice (What weakness can their darling exploit in order to escape?)
Remember all the times I mentioned how she desperately wants you to try her food, but you refuse because eating human meat would make you a cannibal? Well, here's a potential advantage: if you tell her you want to try her dishes, you’ll surprise her. She'll enthusiastically prepare the meal, and that's your moment—it's either now or never. While she's cooking, you have your chance to make a run for it. But be cautious; she's a long-legged woman with enough stamina to catch up to you within mere seconds. So, act wisely.
W = Wit's end (Would they ever hurt their darling?)
No.
Not sure if this counts, but you know how she only targets humans if they're necessary ingredients for her dishes? Well, here's the great news for you: you're not and will never be an option as an ingredient for her. You are the only human she will never, ever consider attacking, regardless of whether you possess one of the ingredients she's seeking. Even if all the ingredients for her dish happen to be everything that you are, she will never turn to you as a food source. She'll scour every corner and crevice of the earth if necessary, but she'll never resort to cooking you. (This part was supposed to go into the unique section, but I changed my mind because it felt wrong. So if this doesn’t make sense, sorry💪😞)
Yeah, in essence, she'll never inflict harm upon you. While your worst experiences with her may have been near-death encounters, she'll never actually harm you. The most she'll do in terms of hurting you is exert a firm grip. That's it.
X = Xoanon (How much would they revere or worship their darling? To what length would they go to win their darling over?)
She's not a worshipper, but her actions might suggest otherwise. The way she cares for you feels akin to that of a devoted caregiver. She insists on dressing you herself, feeding you, and accompanying you everywhere. It's understandable if you interpret her actions as worship, but to her, it's not about worship—it's simply about loving you that much.
And no, she's not going to any extraordinary lengths to win you over because in her mind, you're already hers. There's no need for her to go to such lengths when you're already with her.
Y = Yearn (How long do they pine after their darling before they snap?)
Y’know how I just mentioned that in her mind, you're already hers? Well, I doubt you share the same sentiment, do you? She's not oblivious, and she's well aware that you likely don't reciprocate her feelings. If your feelings toward her remain unchanged even with all her persuasions, she'll remain surprisingly patient for quite some time. What I'm getting at is that her endurance in trying to win you over during the relationship is remarkable. I can't envision her snapping at you, no matter how much time passes as she endeavors to capture your heart.
Hoping this part made sense 😗
Z = Zenith (Would they ever break their darling?)
Like I've hammered home countless times, no—not mentally, not physically, but perhaps emotionally. Remember when I mentioned how her scolding can make you question whether you're truly ungrateful for her love? Well, emotions play a significant role in that scolding too. She doesn't necessarily toy with your emotions, but she aims for you to feel at least a tiny tinge of guilt for every instance you've angered or disappointed her.
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munson-blurbs · 2 years ago
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Hello my darling sister wife! How about a little angst where reader meets Eddie and he’s all touchy and affectionate with her and she thinks he likes her back, but then she realizes he’s that way with everybody! Up to you if it’s a happy ending or not 🥰 - @corroded-hellfire
Went with angst to fluff because apparently I have an aversion to leaving things angsty :/
Warnings: some language
WC: 1.1k
--
"So this is the crew!" your co-worker, Robin, makes a sweeping motion with her arm. "You already know Vickie and Dingus, of course; and this is Nancy, Jonathan, and Eddie. Everyone, this is Y/N!"
Nancy and Jonathan give shy waves, with the girl throwing in an obligatory, "Robin's told us so much about you!" You smile back at them.
Eddie, on the other hand, throws a tattooed arm around your shoulders and brings you in for a bear hug. "Welcome to our weird little family," he says with a laugh. "We've been expecting you!"
You get butterflies at his touch; it doesn't help that his deep brown eyes are the loveliest you've ever seen and his smile could light up a room. His hands leave your body too quickly for your liking, and you try to hide your disappointment as he picks Robin up and swings her around.
It seems that Eddie's a touchy-feely kind of guy with all of his friends: bumping chests with Steve when they win the coin toss for movie choice, tossing a piece of popcorn in Vickie's mouth from across the room and high-fiving her when she catches it, and laying himself across Nancy and Jonathan's laps with and teasing, "don't make any Byers babies tonight, you two!"
It’s embarrassing how much you want him to flirt with you, how much you crave his attention. While he’s bothering Jonathan and Nancy, you take the opportunity to plop onto his chair, pretending like you don’t notice his jaw drop in mock-offense.
"Hey!" he calls out, rolling off of the annoyed couple and marching over to you. "Get up, you little seat stealer." He grins as you stick your tongue out at him defiantly.
"Finder's keepers," you tell him, snuggling deeper into the La-Z-Boy, your legs dangling from the armrest.
"Oh, that's how it's gonna be?" Eddie leans over and slips his arms underneath you, scooping you up from the chair. A heat creeps through you as one hand wraps around your torso, the other around your thighs. You expect him to place you back on the ground; instead, he seats you on his legs. "Here, we'll share," he compromises. The rest of the group seems unfazed by this display of affection, further confirming your suspicions that this is simply par for the course with him.
When the movie ends, everyone stays where they are. You're certainly not complaining.
"God, that Alex woman was crazy!" Eddie groans. "How could he not see that from the start?"
Steve laughs. "Please, Munson," he jokes, "if that was Chrissy, you wouldn't notice, either."
You wrinkle your nose at the mention of the girl's name. "Chrissy?" you ask, your mouth suddenly feeling dry. "Is that your girlfriend?"
"He wishes," Robin snorts. "She was his crush all throughout high school, always lusting after her and her pom-poms." She waggles her eyebrows at the double entendre.
She was a cheerleader, you think woefully. Probably had a perfect body, perfect hair, perfect...everything. You shift slightly so that you're looking at him. "You never asked her out?"
"Nah," Eddie shakes his head sadly. "Almost asked her to prom, but then I chickened out."
"Plus, Jason would've kicked your ass," Nancy adds, and Eddie flips her off playfully.
"Fair point," Eddie mutters. "'Scuse me, sweetheart," he says to you, and you smile at the pet name, "gotta take a smoke break." Jonathan stands up to join him.
Once they leave, you work up the courage to ask your friends the question that's been on your mind all evening. "So, um, what's his deal?"
"Eddie?" Nancy says. "What do you mean?"
"Like, we just met and he's already sharing seats with me and calling me sweetheart," you explain, chewing on your bottom lip anxiously.
Steve laughs. "I swear, that guy flirts and doesn't even realize what he's doing." He doesn't say it to be mean, but it still stings, like there's a reason Eddie shouldn't be flirting with you.
Vickie notices you wince at Steve's comment. "If you're interested, we can totally do some snooping," she jumps in. "I think you'd be cute together, actually."
You shake your head. "No, it's okay," you mumble. The last thing you need is a blow to your ego when he inevitably replies, "Yeah, she seems nice, but she's not my type."
"I'm gonna head home," you tell them with a sad smile. "It's been a long day." It truly has been; you'd worked a double shift at Family Video before coming over to Steve's place for movie night. You hug everyone goodbye as you grab your bag and walk towards your car.
You pass by Jonathan and Eddie sitting on the steps, deep in conversation as they take drags from their cigarettes.
"Whoa, hey," Eddie says softly as you scoot by. "Where y'running off to, sweetheart?" There's that nickname again; you pray he can't tell that you're blushing.
"Wha-oh. 'M just tired; gonna go back home." You're suddenly too shy to look at his face. Your brazen move of taking his seat seems foolish now that you know he wasn't actually flirting.
Eddie stands up and fixes his jacket. "Aw, okay," he pouts. He glances down at Jonathan, who gives him a small nod and stubs out his cigarette before going inside.
"It was nice to meet you," you tell him, desperate to make your escape, but he gently grabs your wrist before you can run off.
"Hey, um," he stammers, "do you like pizza?"
You almost burst out laughing at the question. "Yeah, who doesn't?"
"People without tastebuds, I guess," he looks at you through his long eyelashes. "Would you maybe wanna get some with me? Some pizza, I mean? Like, tomorrow or something?"
"Like a date?" you ask, hoping you don't sound too earnest.
"Y-yeah," he nods. "If that's okay with you. If not, we can hang out as friends. Just wanna get to know the girl who dared to de-throne Eddie the Banished." His bravado creeps back in with the last statement, making you giggle.
"A date sounds great," you answer with a big smile, and you see his shoulders relax. "Pick me up at 6?"
"6 is perfect," Eddie replies, and you give him your address. "See you then, sweetheart." He leans over, pressing a soft kiss to your cheek before re-joining his friends.
And though you're already halfway to your car, you can hear a loud chorus of cheers when he announces that he's scored a date with you.
--
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pacifymebby · 2 years ago
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Can I request Peaky blinders with a s/o who faints at the site of blood. Love your posts ❤️
I guess warnings, theres be a lot of mentions of blood?
Enjoy this very fucking silly mood board <3
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Tommy
🌿 Youd been doing your best to keep your aversion to blood a secret, not wanting tommy to think you were weak or just another "feeble minded good girl"
🌿 You thought that if he found out he'd think less of you, he'd find it frustrating and unnecessary, he might even think you a little pathetic
🌿 So youd made sure to avoid the sight of blood in front of him. Whenever one of the lads came back injured you found a way to busy yourself and help but in such a way that meant you could avoid seeing the gory details of their injury.
🌿Actually the way that your "issue" comes to his attention is when it is Tommy himself who comes home injured one night... Because you don't want to busy yourself in the other room, you don't want to help from a distance.
🌿 When its tommy who is injured your heart is in your throat. It isn't too serious a wound but its still bleeding, it looks bad. You can't just leave Pol to look after him on her own, he's your man... You need to help him...
🌿 So you do your best... You swallow down the sick feeling in your throat, that tight lump which constricts your breathing and makes you feel dizzy. You try to focus on your breathing... And at first its fine... Youre doing well... You feel terrible but you're okay. Your hands are shaking as you try to clean the blood away.
🌿 But then you get some of it on your hand and its the feeling of it touching you that tips you over the edge and overwhelms you.
🌿 You realise whats going to happen too late to do anything about it and in an instant Tommys hands have caught your body, guiding you gently into his arms despite the pain it's caused him to reach out for you like that.
🌿 Aunt Pol looks at you, shes a little confused, rolls her eyes and shakes her head because shes grown so used to violence that she can't understand why you'd have fainted over a little bit of blood.
🌿 But tommy understands and just sighs, closes his eyes gets struggles to stand, carrying you to lay you down somewhere near by but out of the way.
🌿 "Mustn't judge her Pol, its a good thing if not every girls had as hard and violent a life as you eh... You were scared of things once Pol, don't pretend you were always this cold..."
🌿 "Alright Pol looks like me and you had better get this fixed sharpish eh," he'd chuckle wanting to be there for you when you come round
🌿 He feels bad that you thought you had to hide your fear from him, if he'd known he'd have never let you near him. Wouldn't have let you seen him all messed up like that.
🌿 He'd do his best to make sure that there was no blood left on view when you woke up.
🌿 When you do wake up you feel dizzy and sick and so so embarrassed, its shameful that you couldn't help your man and you feel pathetic
🌿 But tommy is so gentle and kind to you "You tried to help me even though you were scared, that was very brave and very sweet of you angel, you're such a good girl..."
🌿"Im glad you don't like blood angel, shows you're an innocent, you shouldn't have to see so much blood..." "You should have told me angel, its nothing to be ashamed of! My sweet girl eh,"
🌿 He will go out of his way to make sure you never have to see that much blood ever again. He'll still let you try and help but when he can see that youre getting upset he'll kiss you on the forehead and say "enough now angel, you've done your part, go sit down rest..."
🌿 When his brothers turn up at the office or the house bleeding Tommy will get defensive immediately worrying about you as well as his brothers safety.
🌿"If you let Y/n see you like that I'll finish the fuckin job eh?" pointing to the wound and then sneaking them inside trying not to disturb you or attract your attention.
Alfie
🐻 He knows about your fear because you fainting at the sight of blood was actually how you met
🐻 You were weaving your way through Camden market one day with your friend, the two of you picking out ribbon for your hair...Alfie was there because there'd been a threat made against him by Sabini and his men...
🐻 But he'd been distracted from his work when he overheard your conversation with your friend. You had such a soft sweet voice, it had caught his attention, and when you laughed he noticed how it lit up your whole face.
🐻 So he had followed you from a distance, weaving his way between the stalls a little behind you... And he was glad that he had because when Sabini's men did turn up, shooting into the crowd mindlessly trying to cause a stir, Alfie saw the terror on your face and knew he needed to protect you.
🐻 When a bullet ripped through the old man on the stall beside you your friend had let out a scream and pushed through the crowd running away, but you hadn't.
🐻 Instead you'd frozen, your face paling as your eyes fixed unblinking on the man who was dying on the floor in front of you. You want to help but your mind has gone blank, its like you're glitching, you can't move, you feel sheer panic...
🐻 The sight of the blood is whats made you so helpless and you feel your knees begin to wobble as the noise of the market and the crowd fades out, like someone turning the volume and the lights down all at once.
🐻 But when you faint you don't fall all the way to the floor. Alfie catches you, wraps his big arms around your body and lifts you up so that he can carry you to safety. Away from the fighting.
🐻 When you come round you have your head resting on his coat in his lap, he's sitting on the floor behind one of the market stalls, the two of you hidden from the view of anybody else
🐻 When you recognise him you're scared but not for very long. He holds his finger to his lip to shush you and then, with his other hand strokes his fingers over your hair.
🐻 "Reckon you don't like blood very much do you poppet... See you saw some right and you went all pale yeah... When i saw you go all pale i thought that girls gonna faint ain't she, and well, luckily for you i caught you and bought you here to safety..."
🐻 So he's always known about your fear, about how sensitive you are to it too. He's had you faint at the sight of your own finger pricked on a needle before...
🐻 But hes always lovely to you about it, ever so caring a gentle. He really dotes on you and has never snapped at you or insulted you for your fear.
🐻 He likes the excuse to take care of you and be soft with you, to be protective over you. If someone at the factory hurts themselves Alfie will put his hands over your eyes so you can't see and walk you carefully to his office, talking to you gently and reassuring.
🐻 If you injure yourself and start bleeding he'll make you close your eyes and lean back against his chest until he can lower you to safety and patch you up himself.
🐻 And if he's injured he won't give you the opportunity to try and help, his first command to anyone will be "Fuckin make sure y/n isn't around... Don't let her see this mess alright, she don't need to see this mess..."
🐻 He will be so soft with you when you are injured yourself, calling you a brave girl, kissing your forhead. And whenever you get upset or question why he likes you when youre clearly "pathetic being scared of blood and dating a gangster..." he'll get all serious and a little bit gruff telling you never to say things like that.
Arthur
🍂 Oo bestie this ones gonna be rough
🍂 Arthur is literally always getting into fights, he can't keep himself out of trouble no matter how hard he tries.
🍂 So he's always coming home covered in blood. Most of the time, when he's been fighting at the boxing gym, his brothers have done their best to clean him up before you can see him.
🍂 So the first time he realises how much blood effects you, he's shocked by it.
🍂 You were all out drinking at the Garrison, the mood was carefree and you were sitting in Arthurs lap.
🍂 But when a fight breaks out despite the blinders efforts to keep a clean evening, Arthur is the first to stand up. You slip from his lap and watch in horror as he smashes a glass down hard on the troublemakers face, challenging anyone else in the room to fight him.
🍂 The sight of blood gushing free and dark down this strangers face leaves you shaking like a leaf, your insides scrunching up, your head suddenly light and aching as your vision grows faded and then suddenly dark.
🍂 When you come to your ears are ringing and your head is resting in Ada's lap. She has a cool rag held to your forehead and is being careful to tend to you.
🍂 When your eyes flutter open you remember everything and feel a little sick, you're embarrassed of course, a peaky girl fainting at the sight of blood? How ridiculous. More than that though you're worried about your Arthur.
🍂 "Where's..." you start but before you can finish he's at your side in seconds, on his knees holding your hands in his.
🍂 "I'm so sorry love didn't mean to scare you, didn't mean to frighten you darlin..." he's so apologetic and gentle with you.
🍂 From then on he'd really try to control his temper, especially around you. It wont always work and there will be plenty of times just like the first, but he will try his best to keep the violence to a minimum
🍂 In front of you that is anyway...
🍂 The fighting won't stop but he will be much more careful about coming home with blood on his clothes. He'll stop by his brothers house to wash and change his shirt on the way home. He'll never set foot in front of you with blood on him if he can help it.
🍂 He will be so protective of you too, if anyone ever questions why he's with a girl who's so bothered by blood he'll tell them to shut their mouth and threaten them. If his brothers tease him about it he'll skip the threats and cut straight to thumping them.
🌼 Could tell you were a little "soft" right from the first time he met you. Your aversion to the violence in his life was one of the reasons he'd gone soft on you.
🌼 You were so different in that sense from every other aspect of his life
🌼 So the first time you fainted he wasn't surprised exactly, in fact he was kind of ready to catch you.
🌼 He's only really surprised by the way in which it all comes around. He'd always done his best to hide any bad injuries from you, keep you as far away from the violence of the blinders as best he can.
🌼 But he had always presumed it would be the injuries of one of his brothers that youd see... Not one of his own (because hes cocky, hes never expecting he'll get hurt)
🌼 He wasn't counting on getting shot, wasn't counting on you being so determined to help him... He'd tried to tell his brothers not to tell you he was hurt
🌼 But you burst in there practically fighting with tommy to let you help him... The only thing is the second you see John with blood seeping and staining his white shirt, all the fight in you drains away and you don't know what to do...
🌼 Johns stood up in an instant, rushing to your side, his arm snaking around your waist protectively.
🌼 "S'alright flower I'm alright, you're gonna be alright," he murmurs to you as you feel your head go heavy, your ears ringing. He's the last thing your hear and the first thing you hear too because he doesnt leave your side the whole time youre out.
🌼 His brothers fix him up and Polly lectures him about putting himself in harms way...
🌼 Whenever anyone goes to make a comment about you he shuts them up before they can say a word.
🌼 "Don't fuckin say it, i know what you're thinking but don't you dare fuckin say it... Y/n's a sweet girl, shes a good girl... She's not used to all this shit and thats a fucking good thing..." hes so defensive of you that no ones going to try and argue with him.
🌼 He will be very cautious in future to keep you as far from the peaky violence as he can. If you ever cut yourself at home he'll be with you in a heartbeat always ready to reassure you and comfort you, and catch you if he needs to.
Bonnie
🍀 Rather than get caught out you end up having to admit it to him, its embarrassing honestly, you feel like youre confessing this awful stupid dirty secret and you're scared hes going to think so much less of you afterwards.
🍀 You end up having to confess because for the whole time youve been his girl, you havent been to a single one of his fights... You want to, you really wish you could go and support him, but youre just too scared
🍀 Because you know he'll be a bloody mess by the end of the fight and you know you won't be able to handle it
🍀 So every time he has a fight coming up you manage to come up with an excuse not to go, or you manage to disappear into the woodlands for a few days on some "errand"
🍀 But after awhile this starts to worry bonnie, hes upset you dont want to support him and he ends up thinking its because you dont like that hes a fighter, he thinks youre scared of him
🍀 So one day he confronts you and you get so awkward. You actually do consider running away from him... In the end you just cry though, apologising over and over and trying to reassure you it isnt him youre scared of
🍀 When you finally tell him you feel so pathetic and embarrassed.... "if youre going to laugh at me get it over with already Bonnie," you say trying to be brave and pretend you don't care
🍀 But bonnie just shakes his head, smiling because hes relieved you don't hate him and arent scared of him... And also because he can't believe that this was your big secret.
🍀"Why would i laugh at you for something like that eh little dove?" he'd hug you and kiss your cheek, play with your hair and probably enjoy how shy you got... Then he'd reassure you he doesn't think youre stupid for being bothered by the sight of blood.
🍀 He makes an agreement with you, you don't watch his fights but you do promise to come and wish him good luck in the changing rooms before he goes out into the ring.
🍀 He will always be understanding and careful with you and, theres lots of opportunity for bloody injuries at the camp what with the hunting they do and all the sharp knives they have... So he'll be extra careful in future to keep the risk of injury to a minimum... And if there does happen to be one and theres a lot of blood, he will be by your side in a second to reassure you, telling you to close your eyes and focus on his voice.
🍀 He'll tell you a little story to distract you or sing to you, or tickle you... Anything really to distract you and make you forget what you've seen.
🍀 After you've come round from a fainting spell he'll make you an irish tea (idk if thats what you call them everywhere else in the world but i mean normal tea with like, a thimble of whiskey stirred in) its the perfect rememdy.
🍀 If you decide you want to stop fainting at the sight of blood he will very cautiously try to help you with that, but he will always be worried about pressuring you or you pushing yourself too far so he will be a little timid to help.
Isaiah
🐀 He'll probably be surprised when you faint at the sight of blood because you will have done a very very good job of putting on the fearless umbothered act around the rough boy.
🐀 Isaiah is such a "bad boy" that you would be convinced he would think less of you if he found out about your difficulty with blood... So youd do your best to hide it and also to convince him that you weren't scared of anything... You were just as bad as him
🐀 Of course when youre dating a peaky boy there's only so long you can keep an act like that up before you get caught out
🐀And its your own fucking fault... You accidentally break a glass and cut yourself on it when youre drunk at the Garrison.
🐀 Everyone youre with just laughs and takes the piss but you struggle to laugh along, looking down at your hand and the bloody line the glass has drawn across your palm.
🐀Isaiah would roll his eyes, chuckling along with his pals, also taking the piss but trying to help you too. "Alright reckon thats a sign if ever i saw one, alright you lets get you home before you do anymore damage..." hes being cheeky, wrapping your hand in a rag promising to sort it out properly when youre home.
🐀You manage to hold it together for all of five seconds but the moment you stand up to join him in leaving the pub, your body gives way beneath you and you collapse into his arms.
🐀He'd be stunned, thinking you weren't anywhere near drunk enough to have passed out on him
🐀It probably takes him a moment to work it out but when he does he decides to run with the "drunk" story to all your friends, realising youve obviously been hiding this fear of yours for a reason.
🐀When you come round he's carrying you home back to his place, has you bundled up in his arms and is singing a little song under his breath.
🐀"Shit," you murmur as you open your eyes, you can feel the stinging in your hand and it reminds you what happened.
🐀"Not as tough as you make out eh mousey?" he asks you, his voice kind and teasing rather than cruel.
🐀Youd be embarrassed trying to make up an excuse trying to pretend but Isaiah would just chuckle and tell you not to lie... "Whatre you embarrassed for darlin? So you don't like blood its no big deal? I hate the stuff me... Makes a right mess of everything doesn't it..."
🐀He'd try to make jokes to make you feel better about it
🐀He'd definitely tease you about the fact you pretended to be such a tough girl for so long just to impress him.
🐀Will remind you you don't need to try and impress him.
Michael
☘️ Honestly he understands it? The sight of blood makes him feel a bit sick sometimes too, especially after the injuries hes seen on himself and his cousins... Sometimes the sight of blood makes him feel faint and all
☘️So he has a lot of sympathy for you, and hes lowkey glad youre not as unfeeling and desensitised as the Shelby women he knows.
☘️ He can tell you're going to faint by looking at you and will always make sure hes by your side to ease you down to the floor/chair/bed/wherever
☘️ He won't let anyone say a word to you about your fear, he won't let anyone say a bad word about you ever but especially not about this. He's very protective of you.
☘️ "At least shes got a fuckin heart eh tommy... Least she still knows it ain't a good thing to bleed."
☘️He makes sure you never come round alone, waits by your side, holds a cold cloth to your forhead, will get you water, whiskey, tea whatever you need...
☘️ He will never let you put yourself down about it either, if ever you express disdain for yourself over the fainting, he'll immediately correct you.
☘️ "don't say that darling, it doesn't make you weak just cause you don't like to see blood... Who does like to see blood eh? It ain't a normal thing for a woman to like is it..."
☘️ Lots of forehead kisses to comfort you before and after you've fainted.
☘️ Sometimes his cousins tell him he's too soft on you, that they think its stupid he's dating a woman who couldn't even stomach stitching him up if he got shot, they'll tell him he needs to help you get over your fear, but he won't let them bully him or you...
☘️ Of course he would support you if you wanted to try and get over the fear you have, but he'd never suggest it to you, it would need to be your own idea.. He wouldn't want to make you feel like you need fixing because you don't.
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sleepingdeath-light · 5 months ago
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relationship hcs ; beelzebub
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requested by ; nobody / self indulgent
fandom(s) ; helluva boss
fandom masterlist(s) ; here
character(s) ; beelzebub
outline ; “dating hcs for queen bee”
warning(s) ; none, just fluff!
sickeningly sweet on you, endlessly supportive of everything you are and everything you do, protective but not to the point of overstepping and overriding your autonomy, and so deeply in love with you that she couldn’t give less of a shit about about hell’s social hierarchy or how others may perceive your relationship as long as she gets to have you in her life — what’s there not to love about having a partner like beelzebub?
bee can read you like an open picture book and is quick to notice even the slightest change in mood whether it’s positive or negative, and she’s also a quick learner when it comes to figuring out what you need when you’re in a bad or low mood, this means that she’s always able to anticipate and meet your needs, even if you yourself haven’t fully processed them yet — for example, if you’re feeling frustrated and angry then she’ll pull you aside to somewhere more private so that you can vent, if you’re mentally overwhelmed then she can provide the means to give you what you need to calm down/ground (alone time, sensory toys, etc.), and if you’re upset and just need to be listened to and held then she’s more than willing to provide you with that comfort you’re craving
she’s a very chilled out person in general, preferring to go with the flow of the moment unless she needs to step in to help someone out, and that also applies to how she incorporates the various love languages into your relationship at large
acts of service — your favourite foods and drinks are always fresh and available in her kitchen when you come over, breakfast in bed is a consistent part of your routine, she makes use of her status to ensure that you’re never taken advantage of or belittled ever again, all of your needs are met and then some when you’re with her, and none of this is ever mentioned by her or leveraged during your rare spats because to bee these are all just things that she does because she loves you, not because she expects to receive anything in return.
gift giving — though she doesn’t really fit the stereotype of the hellborn royal, bee is still the queen of gluttony and more than capable of buying you anything and everything you could possibly want or need. she never makes a big deal about it, never flaunts her status or wealth like the other sins do, and generally acts like any other hellborn so it’s easy to forget just what she’s capable of… until you come home on your birthday or anniversary and find a shit tonne of gifts waiting for you, that is.
physical affection — she mainly just follows your lead for this love language and only goes as far as you’re comfortable with her going (e.g. if you’re touch averse then she’ll only engage in physical affection when you’ve given her the explicit verbal go-ahead or have initiated it yourself, and if you’re more the sort that thrives off of it then she’s going to be much more touchy with you). that being said, wrapping an arm around her shoulders or waist and pulling her against your side is always going to leave her smiling and staring at you like a lovestruck teenager.
quality time — unless she’s in the middle of a meeting or something like that then she’s always up for spending some quality time with you. sometimes that means planning out a proper date to somewhere outside of her jurisdiction like ozzie’s, sometimes that means making sure to spend time with you during a party (e.g. dragging you out to dance with her when she’s singing, going to a quieter place for a bit to just chat and snack without needing to shout over the music, etc.), but mostly it just means hanging out and having fun as a couple no matter where you are whether it’s in the privacy of your shared home or out and about in one of the rings
words of affirmation — positivity and praise and compliments all come super easily to her, so as her partner you’re pretty much guaranteed to have the queen of gluttony (genuinely) hyping you up and being your number one cheerleader no matter what it is you’re doing. she’s there to earnestly compliment your appearance (clothing, makeup, accessories, hair) with a flirty comment or two thrown in just to leave you speechless. she’s showing up to every event you’re participating in just to cheer you on from the crowd and proudly point you out as her partner to anyone nearby. she’s gushing over your every achievement and introducing you to others in a way that borders on bragging every time she hosts a party in her ring. she’s making comments that leave you unable to speak and hot under the collar so casually that you start to doubt whether you heard her correctly or not (but of course you did because when isn’t she flirting with you?). she makes sure that she tells you that she loves you at least once every day. etc, etc.
she has pictures of the two of you everywhere: you’re her lock screen, a photo of the two of you wearing matching outfits at one of her party’s is her homescreen, she makes sure that her voxtragram profile picture is matching with yours, she posts pictures and videos of the two of you whenever you go out together, she has a photo of the two of you from ages ago on her desk at home so that she has you with her even when she’s doing the most boring stuff imaginable, and so on
as far as pet names go, bee tends to call you either a cutesy shortened version of your name or something more casual like ‘babe’ or ‘hun’, and she’s happy for you to call her whatever you want as long as it’s not outright derogatory
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yumeka-sxf · 2 years ago
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A chronological analysis on Twilight and Yor - Part 7
*This is part of an ongoing post series. If you missed the Introduction/Part 1, click here*
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After setting up the "lovey-dovey marriage kit" before Yuri's visit, Twilight and Yor look a bit embarrassed about the whole thing, which is exacerbated by Anya once again suggesting that they're flirting, and once again they abruptly deny it.
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It's understandable that Yor would be embarrassed, since she never had any notable relationships with anyone besides Yuri, especially not a romantic one. Even though it's only for show, just the thought of it is overwhelming for an emotionally sensitive person like her. But why would Twilight feel uneasiness about it?
In my opinion, around this point in the series is where he starts to show that he probably feels something for Yor…not love yet per se, but maybe a fondness on a level deeper than he had with other women, especially after their recent heart-to-heart conversation. So whenever he's confronted about it, he gets jarred. Perhaps he felt a twinge of it on their first outing when Anya initially suggested that they're flirting, but it starts cropping up more during Yuri's visit. Not only do they both recoil when they accidentally touch hands (again, Yor's reaction is understandable, but why would Twilight be anything but calm about something so minute?) but when confronted with having to kiss, his initial reaction is not what you'd expect from a spy who's wooed women before. At first he's shocked, then he has to take a few moments to regain his composure, telling himself that he's faked relationships with dozens of women and that it's just a kiss.
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I'm sure he's kissed at least some of those women for one reason or another, so wouldn't he be used to it by now? Why would he have to go through a whole spiel in his head just to make himself do it again? It's also worth mentioning that at this point, he doesn't yet know that Yor has such a strong aversion to stuff like this, so that wouldn't be a reason for his hesitation.
But despite his internal misgivings, Twilight switches back to his composed Loid Forger mode and agrees to go through with the kiss. Yor, on the other hand, having never experienced this level of intimate physical contact, is completely flustered. It's debatable as to what stage her feelings for Loid are at this point – she definitely likes, trusts, and respects him wholeheartedly, and perhaps is even starting to feel something more for this man she's only known a short while yet he's given her comfort she's never had before. But unlike Twilight, who responds to emotions he doesn't understand by quickly reverting to his stoic spy persona, Yor responds in the exact opposite way...by becoming an utter emotional wreck.
When Yor intentionally gets herself drunk just so she can handle the whole situation, Twilight realizes how uncomfortable she is and tells her she doesn't have to do it if she doesn't want to. This is, once again, another example of him being a decent guy who tries his best whenever possible to consider people's feelings even if it conflicts with his missions.
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But when (drunk) Yor insists, he decides to just let it happen…much to Yuri's dismay. When Yuri's shouting inadvertently snaps Yor out of her drunken state, and she realizes what she was about to do, she reacts the only way she knows how when feeling such intense, confusing emotions – with (often misdirected) violence.
Soon after, as he watches the interactions between Yor and Yuri as the latter takes his leave, Twilight comments on what wonderful siblings they are and how he admires their dedication to each other.
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While he seems to be putting on his Loid Forger act here, we find out that it was not a total lie. Later that night, as he's sitting in his room, he reveals that he actually was feeling envious of the Briars' sibling bond. He can't remember the last time he felt envious of someone, envy being one of many other feelings he cast aside when he decided to become a spy. As I mentioned before, Twilight prefers not to think highly nor poorly of others, only seeing them as a means to better his missions or gather information. As a result, negative emotions, especially envy, have no place in his heart…and yet, he's suddenly feeling just that.
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Not too long ago he found himself wondering what it would be like to have a family, and now he's feeling envious of a familial bond? As we'll find out later on, something in Twilight is already changing even if he won't acknowledge it.
Continue to Part 8 ->
<- Return to Part 6
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kestrel-bee · 2 months ago
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I just finished ISAT, and. Wow. I am in shambles after Act 5 holy FRICK
Okay, now that I’m done, time to dump all of my thoughts out at once, because I NEED to talk about this game holy crap
(spoilers abound from this point, don’t read if you are interested in playing for yourself)
(CW for discussing religion-related struggles with sexuality, if that’s something that bugs ya)
Okay, for starters, I just want to talk about how well executed this game is.
The gameplay was interesting and not too hard to understand while still being unique and fun, the illustrations and art style was really cute and charming, the character designs are recognizable yet creative, the writing is entertaining and made me love all of the characters in a very quick fashion, and the story overall was just FANTASTIC.
Literally my only complaint is that i had a tricky time adjusting to how sensitive the controls were when walking. Maybe it works better on desktop, but I was playing on the Steam Deck, and the only other platform I can play on is Mac, which this game does not support.
But honestly this ended up being a nonissue, I figured it out pretty quickly and after an hour or so I had the controls down to pat.
I also love how they handled the concept of a time loop, and the slow descent of Siffrin’s mental downfall. The way he started getting so desperate at the end, clinging to every scrap of hope he could find was heart wrenching.
Act 5 was KILLER, omg, I was so wrecked over it I had to take a break to calm down 😭
It’s not often a piece of media evokes THIS much emotion out of me, holy crud.
To talk about some of the characters,
I LOVE me some found family fluff, and boy oh boy was I fed, they’re so wholesome, they’re all so skrunkly 😭
I loved the little snippets of representation in these characters, with Odile being mixed race and attempting to connect to her roots, and Isabeau’s very trans-coded backstory. And yk, the multitude of gays and lesbians throughout the game XD
Even though that kind of representation doesn’t resonate with me personally, I still like to see it.
But oh man, Mirabelle’s cutscene in Act 3 hit hard. I myself am aroace and religious, and marriage was always something I felt was expected from me.
As I got older and realized that romantic attraction wasn’t really something I feel for people, I tried to convince myself I was attracted to a good friend of mine who had a crush on me, which obviously didn’t work out.
I’ve always had a hard time identifying with womanhood in the way my church has always portrayed it as, so having Mirabelle talk about her faith related struggle with her asexuality and identity was such a comforting representation for me.
Another thing, I can’t tell if it’s intentional or not, but I love how neurodivergent coded they are?
Like, we have Siffrin, kinda touch averse and quiet,
Odile who doesn’t like change and needs her routine alone time to recuperate after every floor,
Mirabelle and Isabeau, the funny noise appreciation squad, the hyper-empathetic duo who would always get over hyped over things together,
And while I can’t think of a specific example for them, Bonnie is always there matching Mirabelle and Isabeau’s energy.
Not to mention the frequent amount of times the latter 3 would repeat each other (echolalia) when saying something fun or happy. (Like the “Pie Smell!” candle).
Do these things on their own make them neurodivergent? No, but the way they’re consistently written like this feels very intentional and I love it.
Anyway, whoof, that was very long, but TLDR: this game was PHENOMENAL, and I will be recommending it to everyone I know
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