#they made such a big impact on me and it's still kind of a mystery why

[stuffgoeswrong]

Heyy, for the ship game - soukoku and ranpoe?

Thanks for asking!

Soukoku

Don't ship it

Why don't you ship it?

I am like, constantly at war with myself on this ship to be honest. I was really on board with it when I first started BSD, and then I really liked Oda so I was like, hmmm, Dazai has two hands man. But that gradually fell away, and now maybe for a week one month I'll be really into it (mainly cause one artist or writer really just gets the dynamic right and piques my interest), but then most of the time I'm like, eh, so I went with this category. I agree with others who believe the fandom has really dumbed down the complexities of Dazai and Chuuya's characters for the sake of the ship and amped up the stereotypes. My biggest issue with Soukoku is the Chuuya feminization problem and how overly sexual their relationship is always portrayed. I once saw a post that said something about how Chuuya in canon embraces his masculinity and loves being a guy, and I hate when people take that away from him. For Dazai's part, I also don't love how he's always the one in control and who has a plan, etc. Just, a lot of reasons.

2. What would have made you like it?

If it wasn't the most popular ship and the fans were more chill about them. If they were just more open to other ships with potential too. Soukoku is literally in the top 100 (I think 20-30?) ao3 ships according to ColeyDoesThings's 2022 summary video. I like Dazai and Chuuya and their partnership, but I've grown to prefer their dynamic as best friends who argue like siblings.

3. Despite not shipping it, do you have anything positive to say about it?

I'm sure I could think of something, but I've spat out a lot of my brain capacity already tonight. I like it sometimes, just trust me😅.

Ranpoe

Ship it

What made you ship it?

Oh gladly! I mean, it's Ranpo and Poe, how do I not ship them? I love opposing dynamics like theirs a lot, like where there's one outgoing half of a ship and the other is more introverted and they can help each other grow socially because of their differences. That was a big appeal for me, and them having some history aside from the main story leaves room for interpreted events which is always fun imo! Of course, the fact that they're in opposite organizations but it really does not matter to either of them past their second meeting is so funny and wholesome. Poe just continued to show up at the ADA and he and Ranpo share mysteries and cases, leaving room for inspiring each other.

2. What are your favorite things about the ship?

I like that it's wholesome and seems very natural I guess? I like that they have things in common and how it's actually healthy. I have stickers of them on my laptop actually! I've been trying to get through a 100k+ fic about Poe's life since summer and it's really good, so I'm glad there's balance in Ranpoe's relationship and appreciate how people can imagine them without each other too. And they're both so funny with each other?? Poe taking small competition things seriously that Ranpo doesn't, Ranpo being stunned at Poe's paycheck, I can't explain it, they just immediately become more enjoyable in each other's presence.

3. Is there an unpopular opinion you have on your ship?

Not really on the ship, but Ranpo's not one of my top favorites, so I don't talk about this ship or draw for it very often. It's kind of just there in my mind as fanon and I feel like my brain is not creative enough to wonder about them day to day to find the intriguing and fun bits. I did think Ranposano was better at one point, but that was a very very brief time.

[makeste]

BnHA Chapter 425: New Normal

Previously on BnHA: Everyone was all “and with that we conclude our final battle for better or worse!! We will now commence our slow return to the new normal, beginning with our protagonist and deuteragonist who are miraculously more or less intact, albeit exhausted and mildly traumatized. Also the words ‘more or less’ are kind of doing a lot of heavy lifting there.”

Today on BnHA: The Big 3 and Aoyama are OUT. Shinsou is IN. The Tododrama is PENDING, and the mysterious figure in the shadows is UNIDENTIFIED. Also class 1-A finally becomes class 2-A and it only took them 425 chapters and TEN LONG YEARS. Can you imagine if this series had actually run throughout their high school experience like people once expected. “THE YEAR IS 2044 AND MY HERO ACADEMIA IS FINALLY WINDING TO A CLOSE.” There’s an alternate universe somewhere where this actually happened and we were all so very, very tired.

This is once again a shorter than usual reaction summary post, as opposed to my typical page-by-page liveblog. Not gonna have time to do those for a while yet most likely, but like hell am I gonna miss out on the last days of the series, so here we are.

Once again basing this off of @pikahlua’s spoiler translation summary here!

watching the eighteen inch tall Rat Principal standing at a podium overseeing this graduation ceremony is surreal in the most wonderful way. it’s like receiving your diploma from a sentient Funko Pop

I love how they established that Mic sitting there screaming at the top of his lungs is also a beloved U.A. graduation tradition, and that the senpais just roll with it while everyone else is in varying stages of trying to decide if it’s too late to transfer to another school

ngl sometimes I forget that Ochako and Toga were actually the second canonical f/f ship in this series. shoutout to Hadou and her adorable girlfriend whose name I absolutely cannot recall

absolutely wild that Horikoshi gives credit to Rat Principal for coordinating the entire disaster recovery nationwide. are you serious. the “world-famous” Principal Nezu?? you’re telling me this little capybara is effectively the secret president of Japan now or something. when does he even sleep

“the principal made great contributions to quirk morality education” is also a VERY interesting tidbit that I really want to know more about. “hey guys what if we did a better job at teaching people not to be dicks with their quirks” AND JUST LIKE THAT JAPAN WAS SAVED huzzah

“we lost many things, but we gained nothing” is both HILARIOUS and soundly depressing, but I can see what he’s trying to get at. still an odd choice for a graduation speech though. “our job is all about harm reduction, and we couldn’t even do that this time around, but in the future we hope to balance things out and maybe even get some net positive impact going!” lmao. again it’s all true, and in all honesty it’s spectacular that they managed as well as they did, all things considered. and I guess it would have been disingenuous to just ignore the reality of everything this particular school body has been through and pretend like everything is great right now. but I still can’t help feeling like there was probably a more inspiring way to get this message across lol

regardless of what he says, Aizawa 100% either bribed or threatened Rat Principal behind the scenes in order to stay with his class. and will do so again next year. he can and will keep getting away with it. he is never leaving these kids

and the sheer relief from all of them upon hearing it is all the justification he needs. these kids have four thousand nine hundred and seventeen accumulated traumas among them. they don’t need a four thousand nine hundred and eighteenth. this man is their father ffs. MINA WAS CRYING AND EVERYTHING

Kacchan watched that YouTube video about a dozen times until he managed to tie his tie all on his own with the one hand. and he did an amazing job. he’s such a model citizen now

also it looks to me like he has his right arm hidden in a sling underneath his shirt, which is interesting. if I’m not mistaken (and I very well could be, since it’s been a hot minute since I did any BnHA timeline math), the final battle took place sometime in early May, so this chapter is taking place roughly one month later. the hospital chapter took place about a week after the battle, so it’s been about 3-4 weeks since then. I really want to know what kind of shape Kacchan’s arm is in, but I guess Horikoshi will get to it when he gets to it

also, “we all gotta be together today” was a real wakeup call to me in that it gave me just an absolutely ridiculous amount of feels. just a totally unreasonable amount. and it’s like. listen, self. Kacchan has completed his character growth arc. he’s a team player and a leader who loves all his friends and they all love him in return. we’ve known this for years now. it’s an established fact. you can’t keep bursting into tears or whatever every time he shows it. this is no way to live your life. I need an intervention

anyways later this evening class 2-A is gonna have a celebratory movie night in the common room, and Kacchan is gonna fall asleep two minutes in peacefully surrounded by all his classmates, and they’re all gonna nudge each other and smile fondly and cover him with a blanket and stay up until 2am and Aizawa will have no mercy on them the following morning. it’s gonna be so wholesome you guys

(ETA: I decided to go back and have some more feels about this one tiny Kacchan panel, because apparently the four paragraphs I already wrote about it weren't enough. so the thing is, Sero's wonderment at Katsuki being out of the hospital initially read to me as half bemused awe, and half "oh boy, time to get back into our usual rhythm of antagonizing Kacchan!" but my second time around, I can't help remembering that all of Kacchan's classmates got to watch this kid getting tortured and strangled and stabbed through the heart in 4K. like, even if they were busy with their own fights at the time, there's no way they didn't see the footage later on afterwards.

and that had to have been traumatic for them. their friend literally died and was just lying there so still for so long afterwards. and him getting better and going back to his usual asskicking self later on doesn't just erase those memories, you know? especially with him having lasting, permanent damage afterward. not just his arm, even! like who even knows if his heart is going to be okay long term. when people get organ transplants they have to go on immunosuppressants afterwards because otherwise their body will try to attack the replacement organ. so I wonder how exactly it works when it's still your heart, but it's being held together by various bits and pieces of a spindly little floss man. idk, but I bet you it's still pretty rough.

anyway so long story short, I'm now reading this as one-third bemused awe, one-third joking antagonism, and one-third genuine "no seriously, is it okay for you to be here, please don't do anything to put your health at risk because we seriously cannot handle you dying on us again." and Kacchan's not even disagreeing with him lol, which has to be the most concerning thing of all. "they said it's okay if I rest." even he knows he's pushing it, but it was too important of an occasion to miss. anyway please take it easy kiddo.)

Aoyama leaving makes me sad but it makes total sense for his character after what he’s been through. he needs time to sort things out and continue down his own personal honor-regaining journey. respect

also glad to hear that it was his own choice and that both Rat Principal and Nao would have supported him if he stayed. I still to this day do not understand Naomasa’s actual level of authority lol. like, he’s supposedly a detective, and yet he seems to be personally in charge of every single important police operation, on like a national level. and he has the authority to make decisions like letting Aoyama go free. he is the law, literally

Aoyama trying to feed Deku some farewell cheese also took me out. like he just walked in there and was all “sorry everyone, I’m leaving, but I’ll still aim for the path of a hero and will one day return, don’t you worry!” and at some point in the midst of this tearful speech he made a beeline directly to Izuku and tried to give him some cheese that he apparently just had in his pocket or something. and Izuku was all “YEAH!” all solemnly but HE DIDN’T EVEN TOUCH THAT POCKET CHEESE. like he loves you and accepts you for who you are Yuuga but COME ON

at this point in the chapter it also became clear to me that Aizawa has his hair up in some sort of loosely assembled messy bun and that’s why it looks so especially flowing and gorgeous today. this is great cinema

and then AT LONG LAST, the admission of Shinsou into class 2-A. they tried everything they could to keep him out, BUT NOT EVEN THE END OF THE WORLD COULD STOP HIM. his rightful place

Ojiro’s scandalized response to hearing Fuwa refer to Aizawa as “Era-sen”, and then Fuwa subsequently revealing all of Aizawa’s secrets and Aizawa getting flustered and kicking her out, was one of the most delightful sequences I’ve read. “nooooo don’t tell them that, what the hell am I gonna threaten them with now”

Izuku has not even attempted to crack a smile since the final battle, aside from when he was frantically trying to reassure Kacchan in the hospital. I’m worried about him but also loving this a little bit, ngl. I am content to wait for you to eventually have a proper breakdown, mister Greatest Hero

also I singled him out on the whole not-smiling thing, but really this is true for just about all of them. my heart aches :(

were there really so many people freaking out over Izuku’s hair that Horikoshi felt compelled to throw in that “HEY DEKU-KUN, YOU SHAVED YOUR HAIR LIKE THAT DUE TO AN INJURY, RIGHT? BUT IT’LL GROW BACK, RIGHT!?” line in there lol. the hilarious thing is that this chapter was already in the books before 424 was released, so it means that Horikoshi anticipated the backlash ahead of time. the man knows his audience

and now for this mysterious little barefoot man randomly emerging from some rubble somewhere. who are you. fandom already thinks you’re everyone from Tenko to Hisashi lol. my personal theory is that he’s just a random citizen who’s hurt and traumatized and needs help. and unlike what happened with baby Tenko once upon a time, this young man actually will be helped by a hero in his moment of need, and it’ll be all hopeful and stuff because SOCIETY IS CHANGING FOR THE BETTER NOW HOORAY

or maybe he really is Tenko, idk. what do I know lol. don’t listen to me

lastly, Shouto out here immediately leaving U.A. after class and ruining my dreams of a class 2-A movie night. FINE THEN. GO AND BE WITH YOUR FAMILY my precious little life preserver. and I’m actually really, really excited to see what their endgame is actually, so yes, Horikoshi, bring it on please and thank you

[pillow-anime-talk]

Hi it’s me again 😅 can’t get enough, so I thought of Ayato and prompt 12 with fem reader!! Them being childhood sweethearts. Again congrats on 4000 followers, you deserve it :)

# tags: scenario; friendship; fluffy shit; flashbacks; childhood sweethearts; human!reader; sfw

includes: female reader ft. ayato kirishima {tokyo ghoul}

author’s note: hello once again! i hope it's the ayato from tokyo ghoul (not from genshin impact or diabolik lovers), based on your previous request :) thank you for this prompt!

12. “But we are not married.” “Then marry me.”

You and Ayato have known each other for over eighteen years. Now you are twenty-four and twenty-five, have enough knowledge about life and also many situations behind you.

Your friendship is a sequence of pleasant memories, it’s dozens of trips together outside of Tokyo, weeks without contact and months of living in silence, your long-hour quarrels, your live together for three years in small flat, your ‘on college’ chapter, his being a ghoul and all the bad things he’s done, your own first love and his broken heart after several relationships with women... It’s all your moments with a glass of wine or something stronger, it’s just watching horror movies together until dawn, running away from important meetings, also your first serious work and all the other things that have kept the two of you apart for almost twenty years, but also made your relatio stronger than ever before.

You understood each other without words, you understood each other through gestures, facial expressions and the way of breathing. You knew each other perfectly, you knew about all your failures and about every, even the smallest, situation that made you smile or happy. There was no taboo between you, no shyness.

And although Ayato in your eyes has become a really handsome and calm guy, still looking at him to this day you are able to remember his much younger – seven-year-old – version, who stole your favorite bucket from the sandbox and argued with you that he just found it and had to take care of it... At first your friendship was turbulent and full of contradictions; the boy took your toys, scared you and ran away from you, while you called him ‘nasty black cat’ and ‘big dummy’. His father and your mother looked at you with light amusement on their faces, wondering when you will finally come to an understanding.

To this day, you remember how – after almost a year of friendship and playing together in the sandbox – Ayato approached you with a paper bag filled with cookies in your favorite flavor. It was a kind gesture that put the most beautiful smile on your baby face at that time. The boy thought it was really cute. It’s cute to see you happy and looking at him as someone you really like.

“...You should give me a kiss as a ‘Thank you’. I made them with my sister.” He said then an you only giggled under your breath. The present Ayato looked at you with furrowed brows and you just shook your head. You were at the coffee shop.

“But we are not married.” You said seventeen years ago and he just stamped his foot.

“Then marry me.” His declaration was sincere and loud at the time, causing your mummy to giggle and his dad to laugh out loud; he almost dropped the newspaper from his hands.

The memory only made you smile more and more, the tip of your nose turning slightly red.

“What’s going on, Y/N?” The dark-haired man put down the mug with the steaming drink, and you sighed amused.

“I just remembered something...” You began mysteriously, causing another surprised look to be sent in your direction. “It’s a really nice memory.” You looked down at the surface of dark coffee and could have sworn that for a brief moment your reflection looked like a six-year-old version of yourself.

[cookies-over-yonder]

an illusion of the mind

A bully suddenly targetting Riz and yanking him by the tie startles him a lot more than it should. And it's because he's choking.

inspired by i've made a mystery of myself by gczebos

ao3

Riz is walking through the hall with the Bad Kids when he suddenly bumps into another student. Not a common occurence, but considering his lack of sleep, it isn't too shocking.

What is shocking, is the pure voice of rage he hears as his tie is yanked forward and his throat constricts. "Watch where you're going, bitch!"

Riz shuts his eyes and sucks in a breath, feeling dizzy.

The air comes in short bursts, something sending pain through his chest and making him shake.

He tries to speak, but the grip on his neck gets tighter, and all that comes out is a choked whine.

There's more yelling. It sounds like his friends.

They're yelling for him, aren't they?

The grip gets even tighter—large, calloused hands squeezing, and squeezing until he can't breathe.

Riz has never been strong. He's never been strong, and he never will be strong, and he knows any attempt to pry the hands off from around his neck is fruitless, but he still tries. He tries, and he gasps for air, and cries out in little whines, and he can't breathe, he can't breathe, he can't breathe—

There's another hand on his shoulder, probably to pick him up and throw him before he's even dead.

And he's right, and when he feels himself lifted into the air, he braces for impact, continuing to fruitlessly gasp for air.

The hands squeeze their tightest around his neck, and this is it.

This is it.

He hears his name.

He hears his name and he digs his fingers further into the grip around his neck in a last attempt to pry himself free.

"Riz..."

It's faraway.

It doesn't sound like one of the Bad Kids, Riz thinks, continuing to choke and pry.

"...Jawbone," he hears.

Jawbone isn't on this adventure. He's back in Solace.

"Riz, it's me, Jawbone, your counsellor, can you hear me?"

Riz nods. Why is Jawbone here?

"Riz, it's me Jawbone. You're in Elmville, in my office at Aguefort Adventuring Academy."

No... this is another trick. Get them relaxed and then take them out when they're not expecting it.

"You're not in the Nightmare King Forest. You're not in danger. You're safe here."

It doesn't make sense. Not when he can feel himself actively choking to death.

"You're not choking, you're hyperventilating. You're in Elmville. You're not in danger. You're with Jawbone, your counsellor. You're safe here. Can you hear me?"

Riz nods again.

"Can you open your eyes?"

Riz opens his eyes, and he's all but blinded by the pink of Jawbone's salt lamp.

"Can you look around the room?"

Riz sees a desk, a waste bin, the door, his tie...

His tie?

Riz feels around his neck. His tie isn't there. It's on the floor.

"Your friends took that off for you," Jawbone says, and Riz sees his face.

Kind eyes.

"You're with me, and we're in Elmville, and you're safe. You're not in danger."

Riz nods, feeling a sharp pain in his chest.

"We're gonna take some deep breaths, okay?"

Riz nods again.

"Alright, breathe in with me," Jawbone says, before taking in an exaggerated breath.

Riz tries his best to follow.

"And let it out," Jawbone says, doing a big sigh.

Riz sighs as well.

Jawbone breathes in again, and so does Riz, and he sighs, and so does Riz.

They do that a couple more times, and Riz isn't sure when it happened, but he's holding Boggy in his lap as they continue.

"You with me, kiddo?" Jawbone asks after a while.

"I—" Riz winces at the raspiness of his voice, and nods instead.

There's a bang against the door, and then:

"Kristen!"

"Are you okay?"

"I'm good, guys! Saved by the pull-up bar!"

"Shh! We're gonna disturb them! Also you're welcome for that by the way!"

"Guys, I'm sure he's alright. He's with Jawbone, it should be fine."

Riz looks at the door and then back to Jawbone.

"They're just worried about you," he says.

"Wha—what—what happened?" Riz asks, mentally cursing at the stutter, his gaze fixed on his tie.

"From what your friends told me, and from what I saw, I'd say you might have had a flashback."

"I—I—I..."

Riz keeps staring at his tie on the floor, and Jawbone picks it up and passes it to him.

He puts it on with trembling hands, keeping it loose. 

"How—how did..." Riz starts, looking down at Boggy, who's giving him a reassuring, adorable smile. "I was in the—the hallway..."

"Your friends brought you here," he says.

"Ri...right. Okay. I..."

Riz feels his ears and cheeks heat up, and he cups his face in his hands, knowing he's blushing hard.

And to make matters worse, he feels dried tears stuck to his cheeks. Surely he'd been sobbing in the middle of the hallway. This is gonna do wonders for every bully.

"It's nothing to be embarassed of, kiddo. You went through something traumatic, and that's serious."

Riz doesn't respond. Nor does he look up from his hands.

"I know you like to keep to yourself, but  I'll admit I'm getting to be a little concerned, and I want you to know we can work on this together if you're open to it. My door is always open for you, Riz."

Riz wants to go home.

He doesn't want to face the other Bad Kids. Not like this.

"Can—can you... can you call..."

Riz clears his throat. God, it's hard to talk.

"You want me to call your mom?"

"Uh-huh..." Riz whines, drawing his knees to his chest and burying his head in them. "I—I don't... I don't want to... I—I... Sorry. Sorry."

"It's okay, kiddo. It's all okay. I'm gonna call your mom, and we can excuse you from the rest of your classes for today."

"'M gonna—gonna—gonna miss my—my clubs..."

"That's okay, you hear me? Hey, can you plant your feet on the ground for me?"

Riz does so.

"Watch me, now," Jawbone says, and Riz looks up. He's got his feet on the ground too, mirroring Riz. He starts to slowly tap his thighs with his hands. Left, then right, then left, then right. "Can you try this with me? Just tap. Left, right, left, right."

Riz follows along, tapping each leg and gazing at his trembling hands.

"There you go. When you start feeling anxious, thinking about your trauma, I want you to start doing that. Just start tapping, left and right."

"O—okay..." Riz mumbles.

"Alright, you can stop for now, but I want you to keep that in your back pocket, okay?"

Riz nods, and gives Boggy a squeeze.

"I'm gonna step out and call your mom, alright?"

He nods again.

And Jawbone is gone.

Riz thinks he can hear a hushed conversation outside the door between the Bad Kids and Jawbone.

Riz looks down at his backpack beside his feet.

...

He crawls inside and zips it shut.

This way, he can just be carried to the car and no one will see him.

And while he's alone in this room, no one will hear him cry either.

So he does.

He cries, and he waits, and he cries some more.

And eventually, he hears a knock at the door, and he sucks in a breath.

"Riz, honey?" he hears from the other side.

Mom.

"I'm coming in," she says, and he hears the door open and shut behind her.

"Can you carry me out in here so my friends don't see me?" he asks, voice wobbly.

"Riz..."

He feels a hand on his back through the fabric of his backpack.

"It can't be comfortable in there, can it?"

"Please, Mom."

He feels her slide on the backpack and start to walk.

During the walk back to the car, he checks his crystal. It's almost blinding against the darkness of his bag.

There's a few texts from his friends in their group chat.

The Bad PhotosyntheKids

Fig: riz if anyone tries to bully you like that again we'll fuck them up

Gorgug: Fabian says we'll eliminate them

Fabian: ELIMINATE. IN ALL CAPS GORGUG!

Kristen: we'll always look out for you bro

And some private messages.

Fabian: The Ball, are you alright?

Fig: i think that asking if you're okay is probably a bad question but i'm not sure what else to say so i'm just gonna say let me know if there's anything i can do to help ok? love you man

Adaine: i know how embarassing it is to break down and panic in front of people and i just wanna say im here for u and it's not ur fault when ur brain gives u hell and i love u and i'm here for u always. i'm here if u want to talk or if u just want to not talk about anything and just hang out just in general i'm here. i feel like im rambling sorry i just want u to know i care about u so much and ur never alone ok?

Riz reacts to Fig and Adaine's messages each with a little heart. Adaine sends a close up picture of Boggy smiling after he sends the reaction, and he gives that a heart too.

"Riz, honey, it's time to get in the car," Sklonda says, unzipping his backpack.

Riz climbs out and slips into the passenger seat, bucking the seatbelt and staring at the ground.

Sklonda shuts the door beside him and travels to the other side.

"Jawbone didn't tell me much, you know," she says while she drives.

Riz whines.

"He said that you should consider meeting with him weekly. I think it's a good idea too."

Riz whines again and Sklonda sighs.

"We can talk about it another time, right now I just want you to rest, okay, baby?"

"Okay, Ma..." Riz mumbles, fiddling with his tie and running the soft fabric between his fingers.

Riz doesn't say much else as they park, go through the elevator, and get inside. Sklonda walks beside him the entire time, not touching him, which he appreciates.

He curls up in his parents bed—it's second nature, really, to lie down on Pok's side when he's feeling vulnerable.

Sklonda sits on the other side, and he grabs her hand to hold and shuts his eyes. She gives his hand a squeeze and slides his glasses off, and he hears her fold them and put them on her bedside table.

Riz shifts to wrap both his arms around one of hers and pull her closer, rubbing his forehead against her bicep.

She runs her fingers through his hair, and he yawns.

"I love you, honey."

"I luh you too," he mumbles back, and promptly drifts off to sleep.

[pineapplefulfillseveryneed]

The Revenge Of Two Hands One Mouth - O2 Academy Bristol (November 27, 2013) by Adam Gasson

After 11 years of not finding a single photo from this show, I found these yesterday! I can not begin to express what this means to me, I nearly cried and I couldn't sleep last night. I was still a rather new fan and this was my first time going to a show in the UK, the first show I went to see with a friend, and my first time meeting that friend, too. And these above photos are SO GOOD! Not much was preserved from this show at all, there was no recording allowed (no charcoal drawings either), and to my knowledge not even the full setlist for this specific show was preserved anywhere. So better late than never, but here's what I remember (with some help from these photos!) and the things I've puzzled back together:

If there was opening music or an opening act, i don't recall, but Russell entered the stage alone. It was dramatic and impactful, and it went quiet as he gave an intense stare into the audience and did a drawn out "ahhh" into the microphone. After a little moment of quiet, it turned out the microphone had been connected to a sequencer which now started repeating "ah ah ah ah ah ah". Suspense, excitement. Russell added: "Hold, hold, hold, hold". (...I was definitely freaking out.) While that started looping on top of the ah ah ah sequence, he made stop signs with his hand as we all listened. A few repeats passed. "I'm getting mixed signals, mixed signals - mixed, mixed, mixed signals".

^ the only seconds of this show I recorded as I didn't yet know it wasn't allowed - security signed at me and I put the camera away. It was fine. (Here's a recording of it made during the US tour later that year - recording seemed to be less frowned upon at that point.)

I don't recall when Ron entered the stage at this show, whether it was during the song or after, but what a way to open! And what an amazing song choice!

The performance that left the biggest impression on me at this show though was Nicotina. It was a choice I didn't see coming, but also the way Russell sang it! Falsetto heaven. (Sadly not a single video is to be found of Nicotina from this tour. But for your falsetto heaven needs, I hope you can find a video of Here In Heaven that they also performed on this tour, because that will also kill you.)

As everyone here probably knows I am quite big on Bergman, which at the time was heavily promoted during the tours, and, the excerpts they played on this tour were different from what they played during Two Hands One Mouth! They played "I Am Ingmar Bergman", The Studio Commissary (my favourite song on Bergman), Limo Driver (but sang by Russell, and HOW!) and "Oh My God". (Here's a video of it from one of the American shows. It's extremely good. People who've been around for a while have seen me lose it over this video many times.)

The most unexpected song choice was probably Katherine Hepburn. Me and my friend had been joking for absolute months that we were going to see Sparks and they'd play Katherine Hepburn (as if that would ever happen, we were obsessed with that song though!). And here we were, and they were playing Katherine Hepburn right in front of our eyes. (What is reality.)

Falling In Love With Myself Again had me losing it over the organ sounds, always a fan of Ron on organ, and I LOVE that song. Russell sang a line in my direction (I died), and he managed to throw another line at me during Those Mysteries ...I died a few times that night. As you might expect. That was kind of the whole THOM/TROTHOM experience anyway. Lots of dying. But the variety of dying where you end up in heaven. (You're at a Sparks show after all.)

They wrote a song especially for this tour, which was not released but only ever played live: Revenge Of Two Hands One Mouth. What a thing to experience! A very dark song, but wonderful. (REVENGE! REVENGE REVENGE!)

At the end of the show Ron took a photo of Russell with the audience. I don't really remember that happening, but the photo exists and it really was not a thing they did often back then. We had been a good audience :)

Here's all the songs that were probably played that night in random order:

Your Call's Very Important To Us. Please Hold., B.C., Good Morning, Here In Heaven, Academy Award Performance, Those Mysteries, Falling In Love With Myself Again, Big Boy, Nicotina, Popularity, This Town Ain't Big Enough For Both Of Us, excerpts from The Seduction Of Ingmar Bergman, Tryouts For The Human Race, Katherine Hepburn, Revenge Of Two Hands One Mouth. They likely also played The Number One Song in Heaven, When Do I Get To Sing 'My Way' and Suburban Homeboy. (I see mentions of How Are You Getting Home? and How Do I Get To Carnegie Hall? in setlists for this tour as well, which they very well might have played but I very sadly have zero memory of ever hearing those songs live.)

This tour had a real air of mystery, possibly even more so than Two Hands One Mouth, as the lack of existing footage definitely adds to it. But luckily some of it *is* out there, and I am so grateful for these photos :) On top of the songs I especially mentioned above, I would also advise people to look for recordings of Tryouts For The Human Race and Popularity from this tour, because the arrangements are probably not going to be the way you expect them to be. And as you might expect: B.C. is stunning live. (I could start a whole rant about Good Morning and Suburban Homeboy live but I think I sufficiently screamed about both in my personal notes on THOM the year prior.) Final note: I know Russell had some sort of dance move for Big Boy because me and another friend couldn't stop talking about it for months. I don't remember what he did, but both THOM and TROTHOM were wonderful for Russell dances <3

[theromanticrationalist]

I am not okay. Not even a little bit. 😭😭😭

Young Sheldon is special to me. I have not been a fan of it super long, but it was an unexpected surprise when I had given up on any American show ever making any profound impact on me again. (Yes, I am being dramatic, but so it is.)

It introduced me to Sheldon Cooper, which finally forced me to give in and watch The Big Bang Theory, and then I fell in love with Shamy and the rest was history.

Sheldon Cooper is a special character for me in that I never had a character so closely be relatable to me. It was kind of shocking and I still kind of can’t believe that this character exists. Things Sheldon Cooper has said and thought have been quite literally things I have said and thought. His struggles are my own struggles. These things of life that come more easily for other people, do not for me. I mean I am going to be 38, and I am just now getting my drivers license! I am pretty proud of myself for this achievement, but it is just one of many examples of how I totally understand Sheldon’s way of processing and navigating this world. It is slow. It is hard. It is a constant uphill battle that pretty much no one understands. Everyone thinks you are weird, and you might as well be speaking Klingon whenever you talk about the things you are passionate about. Even your own family thinks you are a little strange, even if they love you. You wish you could just live as a brain, as that would be SO much easier, but nah, you gotta deal with complex and frightening emotions and biological processes and somatic experiences!

So yeah, Sheldon is dear to me. I am upset to have to say good-bye to the character when I literally have just met him. (Thank you binge watching!) I mean I have rewatches and future meta analyses to look forward to, but there won’t be anymore of his story. It makes me sad.

And of course, the whole Cooper Family I have come to love, and I think this whole show is absolutely brilliant, despite its flaws. I hope to be able to talk more in-depth why I think it is such an important show for American television and the state of our current culture. It might be a spicy take, but necessary. 😏

Sheldon Cooper can teach us a lot. He can teach us that the human experience is myriad, and that the world becomes ever the more beautiful by that which is obtuse, weird, and bizarre. Human beings weren’t meant to be neatly categorized, and life wasn’t meant to be quantified. There is beauty in the imperfection. Not because the Ideal does not exist, but that somehow, in a mysterious way, that which is already Perfect becomes fuller, more realized, deeper, and more itself - through - imperfection.

I don’t know. I’m still figuring it out and discovering this life myself…

“For by one sacrifice he has made perfect forever those who are being made holy…” | Hebrews 10:14

[blackaleycatt]

Random Wild Kratts Headcanons: Megan Thee Stallion Songs

Songs that I think the characters would like or songs that represent them because I love Megan.

Y'all better stream Hiss!

Martin: Ungrateful

Everyone knows that Martin is a nice man. Even the villains know it.

Sometimes it seems like he's a little too nice tho. Like the villains definitely take advantage of it.

Martin can be a nice person but when you mess with animals, his friends, or his brother he can become a different person.

I think the lyrics “Y'all actin' really ungrateful, I'm sparin' you hoes” represent this.

I feel like he could be a lot more violent towards the villains but chooses not to.

Basically, he is sparing the villains despite everything they have done to the team and the villains are “ungrateful” because they constantly act the same way.

Chris: Savage

His sassy attitude fits this song well.

It doesn't matter if it's a villain or his own brother. That lil sassy attitude is always gonna be there.

I feel like he would actually call himself a savage after listening to this song.

“Been that bitch, still that bitch”

And he literally is. Not only has Wild Kratts been around a long time, but Chris has been iconic since Kratt’s creatures and Zooboomafu have been around.

Koki: Plan B

This song is about Independence and having a high self-worth.

Koki definitely has all of that.

She's technically a minor character but she leaves a big impact on the team and the show in general.

Also, I feel like a lot of the time she’s the team's “Plan B” meaning when there's a problem that the boys or Aviva can't fix she has to step in.

Usually involving the miniaturizer because they never listen when she tells them to keep up with it.

She’s like the only other person on the team with a fully functioning brain cell.

Jimmy: Hot Girl Summer

This was THE summer song so you know Jimmy was listening to it.

Probably says “It's hot girl summer” every year to Aviva and Koki.

The chill vibe of the song matches his personality.

I can see him lounging in the sun bobbing his head to this song.

I don't really have a deep reason for why this song is for him, it’s just chill.

Aviva: Hiss

Hiss blew up because it was a diss track calling out basically everyone in the music industry.

I feel like this fits her attitude towards Zach specifically.

Like she seems like she wants to say “Fu*k you” to him so badly.

Based on the “Mystery of the Weird Looking Walrus” episode Aviva seems to be a very observant person and knows a lot of tea about people.

Like how does she know what Zach eats every day and how many toes he has on each foot 💀.

And she was able to guess his password easily on the first try.

Basically don’t piss her off or she will air out ALL of your business, like she did with Zach.

Also, I feel like she listens to Megan when she’s angry.

Donita: Megan's Piano

If feel like she's also a Megan stan.

This song is her anthem.

One thing about Donita is she is gonna let you know that she is NOT poor and she works hard for her money.

Like she’s the hardest-working villain besides Gourmand.

Donita is a self-made queen.

Girlboss.

She likes this song because it reminds her that she's better than everyone.

Every time Chris and Martin come around she mentions wanting to give them a makeover and drags them for their fashion choices.

Definitely says “Sorry, hoes hate me 'cause I'm the it girl”.

You can't spell Donita without “it” after all.

Gourmand: B.I.T.C.H

I don't think he would actually call someone a bitch (he's southern-raised, he has some manners) but the vibe of the song fits him.

I think he would like the lyrics “You know you can't control me, baby, you need a real one in ya life.”

Gourmand is kind of like Zach in the sense that he does what he wants whenever he wants.

Hence why you can't control him.

He’s not like Donita who would use animal substitutes in his profession (the fake spider silk) no matter how hard the Kratts try to convince him.

He does what he wants and you can't control him.

He's also very straightforward with his feelings.

If he doesn't like you he’ll let you know.

Zach: God's Favorite

Zach relates to the song based on the title alone.

He truly believes that he is favored and highly regarded.

Him being the “favorite” could be a general feeling or a reference to how he feels about Aviva and her inventions.

He doesn't see himself as equally matched to her or anyone. He sees himself as the ultimate person basically, even above the other villains.

Despite his incompetence, he is still rather skilled in some things and successful.

The lyric “Here's a toast, who you love the most?” is also him talking about himself since we all know who his favorite person is.

I feel like he would listen to this song to boost his confidence.

[zealsoughtsequesterustanxiedemon]

Shadow of Erdtree Spoilers regarding Miquella

I haven't posted a lot of my thoughts regarding the DLC, but overall I really liked it. However, it did have a disappointment for me. I really wanted something more out of Miquella's story. Don't get me wrong, what we got works well as a story, it was just kind of expected? Oh this mysterious character we never get to see who is associated with great kindness AND mind control, I wonder how their story is going to end once it gets focus...

Fromsoft's usual suite of characters include a bunch of charaters that are either good-natured but meet a tragic end OR are developed to be much more morally grey with a sinister nature inside or surrounding their story. However, there are the rare charachters that escape the tragedy. Characters who are either 100% unquestioningly on your side, with the occasional one who's good to you as long as you're good to them/seeking the "good" ending. These usually take the form of the level-up maidens, but in general they are women. All of this isn't objective (I haven't even played all the souls games, missing out on DeS and DS2), but the main point I'm trying to make is that there is typically a friendly female npc who stands out and feels particularly benevolent.

Sekiro was refreshing with having this character, Kuro, be a boy instead. Elden Ring's level-up maiden, Melina, although crucial to the plot takes more of a step back outside of exposition and a few big plot moments (including not trying to have you fuck up). She unfortunately must be sacrificed (unless you betray her and then cleanse yourself of the frenzied flame to do one of the other endings). So the closest thing to this type of character feels like Ranni, although she's a ends-justify-the-means type of gal and has her trust issues, you do get to talk to her a decent amount, you get to marry her, and you have those ending with her which feels pretty hopeful all things considered.

Ranni definitely felt like a new direction for a Fromsoft game and so I was hoping Miquella's story would be taking points from both her and Kuro, into exploring a new kind of "maiden" in this dlc. Unfortunately, we have really no interaction with him besides reading the notes he left behind. Miquella's actual screen time is wholly within the final boss fight and the surrounding cutscenes. That alone disappointed me a good amount. Like the type of story they went with would have actually worked A LOT stronger if we had that interaction. At least the fight would've hurt more.

It's something where we didn't get what I hoped the most for and I didn't get what would've made what we got interesting or impactful for me. Again, I liked the DLC and I think this story beat still functions for this character, it was just a little underwhelming, especially compared to the rest of Elden Rings major story paths and questlines.

[tarnishedinquirer]

Into the Old Keep

Returning to the Liftside Chamber, there was this one stubborn door that refused to open. Which was frustrating because it led right down into that mystery abyss.

I tried dropping down from the ledge right outside the chamber, but only got a sprained ankle for my troubles and the realization that, while I could keep going down, I could not get back up to unlock that door.

So, time to go up. I took the lift to the top of the tower, and found a very peculiar sight. Miniature jars, like Alexander but much smaller. Seemed almost cute.

....until the mother jar showed up. It tried to smash me with its bulk while the little ones pounded me with their tiny fists. Once I shattered them, the big one dropped a Living Jar Shard and a.... a.... a meat dumpling.

Oh gods those are teeth.

A pungent raw meatball, made succulent by virtue of being on the verge of turning. Heals, but also poisons the user. Not recommended for those who prefer to know the origin of their meats.

Thanks, voice. If I run out of Crimson Tears, I'll just die instead.

This confirms what I suspected about Alexander. He is definitely filled with actual people, mashed into a pulp. The though turned my stomach even more than the "dumpling" did.

The jars actually were alive. Not just animated. The meat had turned into some sort of...tissue.

A fragment of a living jar, hardened after its death. Such fragments command a high price due to the magical power locked within. This leaves the living jars unfortunate targets for poachers.

So why were there so many of these broken around the Weeping Peninsula Minor Erdtree?

Another thing I found in the jar nest was a Cracked Pot, like the kind I use for holy water or fire. Are these jar eggs or something? If I put human meat in it, would it grow into one of those smaller jars and attack me? Curiosity and disgust warred in me, but disgust won. I would not be investigating that.

Past that was a very strange collapsed part of the floor. It looked less like a collapse and more like an impact. Like something landed here and dug a furrow, collapsing several floors before coming to a stop. It was hard to even envision what this place was before the collapse, and the only way I could make sense of it was that this is a place where construction stopped. Whatever renovations Godrick was making had completely petered out at this spot. Even if the rest of it was sometimes a confusing patchwork, the construction here did not match up at all.

I climbed up some scaffolding to a ledge, then across to a window. When I stepped out, I saw another one of those red Banished Knights. She was kneeling over the corpse of one of those fire-breathing Warhawks, with a regular Stormhawk joining her.

Had she killed it? If so, she still clearly held great respect for the beast. The feeling was mutual, as the other hawk was docile and joining her mourning. This all but confirmed for me that the hawks were intelligent. Perhaps the Banished Knights were once kin to the hawks of Stormveil, but the Warhawk hadn't recognized her due to its far more invasive prosthetics.

I continued on my path through a storage room, across more scaffolding, up to an even worse collapsed floor, and into what seemed like an even older part of the castle.

Here, the construction was completely different. It felt even more familiar. The only inhabitants were long-neck commoners, who didn't appreciate my intrusion. Under the stairs, someone had stashed a Manor Towershield

An iron greatshield large enough to cover the entire body. Depicts the Roundtable Hold, gathering place of champions.

God. It just hit me. I finally figured it out. Why the older parts of the castle seemed so familiar. The arms, the armor, the whole thing. I'd been looking at it for so long without seeing the significance, I didn't even notice it anymore.

The Roundtable Hold. This castle was exactly like the Roundtable Hold. At least, originally. The same arms and armor that decorate Stormveil could be found there.

Before the gaudy facades. Before the curse of pox and thorns.

At one time, Stormveil and the Roundtable Hold had been twin castles.

I stepped out on the battlement, and a rune message greeted me. Far more articulate than your typical runes, and with Rogier's visage. I knew that if I followed his instructions, I'd finally reach the secret of Stormveil Castle.

Were the knights banished from the Roundtable Hold?

What kinship do they have with the hawks?

What impacted this area of the castle?

Do Living Jars grow from the Cracked Pots?

What awaits me down below?

[omegothic]

opinion on ffxv after 75 hours of playing (and one hour of running in circles to level gladio's skill up) (still haven't played any of the dlcs but i'm gonna take a break or something for a few days because i severely neglected my university stuff and spent most of the last week obsessively playing this game)

i love this game. am i tired? hell yeah. would i want all these hours back? hell no.

the game is a mystery to me.

the sidequests are genshin impact open world quests level (which means that if i hear anyone talking, i'm pressing the skip button because i don't give a fuck). you listen to someone yapping about unimportant stuff and they make you collect the same shit over and over again. peak game design.

the main quests are good but the ending made me age 10 years in a week. there's NO NEED for these tragedies. boy you literally have the power of gods on your side and they tell you the only way to get rid of the big bad villain is to kill yourself? sounds like bullshit to me. also why even bother if there's only a few thousands people left in the world. you already lost, all this stuff had to be done 10 years ago to have any meaning. and there's no way the world didn't just implode or something when the sun stopped rising. the true ending is noctis getting spat out of the crystal and realising everyone is long gone because there's no sunlight.

the mentally ill hobo could have been more cooperative too geez. i'll be honest i like him much more than the six. and everyone's like "oh gods are helping you" no they hate me and want me to die for no reason. i'd rather join forces with ardyn and try to take them down. even if he did a lot of questionable stuff (cough- killed my bride -cough-cough- and her brother -cough- also kidnapped my friend and tortured him-)

the hunts are kinda fun when it's a big monster but when it's a bunch of goblins i'm like,,, why did you call me here? ngl i thought all hunts would be like the first one, it was truly cool. there was some kind of plot, some interactions with my friends, some stealth, the monster seemed really tough (meanwhile me, fighting the lvl 99 adamantoise 65 hours later: the ring of lucii go brrr-)

the dungeons are ass. i thought nothing could be as disorienting as daggerfall's randomly generated dungeons but they really managed to do a miracle with ffxv. although the dungeons in ffxv are not scary at all, that's the difference.

the open world is okay. there're some interesting places (when you first see the big mysterious creature in the lake you're like do i have to fight it?? can i get closer to it?? what is this??) and the nature is beautiful. altissia looks majestic but sadly there's not much to do. i appreciate the hard work tho.

using regalia was a delight. when you want to take a break and just look at the landscape you can just sit still with a controller in your hands and enjoy the ride. really therapeutic. don't drive at night when you're low level though... listen to ignis. ignis is always right.

the camp life is by far the best out of all games i've had an experience with. there's so many little details everywhere that you cannot help but adore your companions. it's the way every time you make camp you get a bunch of photos prompto took since the last break. it's the way your companions talk to you almost all the time and you truly feel like you are on a road trip with your friends. it's the way gladio calls you out on your bullshit and afterwards you want to bite his head off each time you talk to him. it's the way ignis cooks for the entire party and makes you help him sometimes. i just love the way friendship is portrayed here.

what was not as good is luna and noct's relationship. there was not enough of luna. yes she loves noct but why? yes noct loves luna but why? luna literally appeared in the plot for two minutes and then tragically died. i think it's really bad. also imagine not seeing your bride for 12 years, when you finally meet her again she immediately dies, then you spend 10 years trapped in a crystal, fucking die and then get to marry your bride. honey it's been 22 years since i last talked to you in person. i'm NOT marrying a random woman in the afterlife (no hate for luna, just this love story didn't seem convincing enough). hopefully i'm gonna see what they wrote in the dawn of the future soon (please pray so that my amazon package doesn't get lost 🙏)

the music is incredible. the woman who wrote the soundtrack is my goddess and i am a devout worshipper 🙏🙏🙏

so, why is the game a mystery to me? because no other game could make me endure 75 hours of boring side quests. i managed to play hogwarts legacy for 44 hours and i despised that game when i finished it. i despised it long before i finished it. but not ffxv. they could make me do all this boring stuff again and i would do it (not for free tho because i've got better things to do with my time 🤣)

i enjoyed ffxv a lot. it also made me depressed for a week because ending a game like that should be a crime. i think i'm gonna do a few last quests after that but there's not much left (and i'm not looking for more because if i think i am done then i am done). not sure how long episodes gladiolus, prompto and ignis are gonna take, but they're also in my plans (no ardyn tho, gotta go watch some playthrough). there's also anime and a film so plenty of content for me. and i am waiting for the arrival of my book 🫡

(noticed that there's nothing about the combat. well it's because i don't care. i don't like combat. i don't like it in any game. i prefer to flee)

[decks-writing-blog]

Whatever the Fuck Benrey Is: Chapter Seventeen: Just a Peek

Chapter One

Previous Chapter

~

‘Aperture’s haunted.’ read Bubby’s text to the group chat several days after he’d left.

Gordon shouldn’t ask because he shouldn’t have even checked his phone and had only done so because it going off had reminded him he hadn’t put it on silent. At work, still sorting through Black Mesa’s recovered hard drives – so far nothing on Benrey had been found – wasn’t the time. But on the other hand… ‘What does that mean?’

It was Benrey who replied. ‘theres ghosts there’

Dr. Coomer’s reply came a second later. ‘It means the Aperture Science facility is inhabited by ghosts and/or demons. Both of whom are known for existing in or sometimes being trapped or bound to specific locations that are then referred to as being ‘haunted’. Sometimes they will also haunt specific people, following them when they move to a new house or just sticking with them throughout the day. One could perhaps say that you were once haunted like this Gordon, when you claimed a skeleton was following you that the rest of us couldn’t see. There are also haunted items, meaning that a ghost/demon is connected to that item.’ How did he type all that so fast? … Probably some cybernetic thing in his hands giving him superhuman texting speed. Gordon was a little jealous, he was used to it now but one-handed texting was still uncomfortably slow.

‘I know what the word haunted means. What I meant was, ‘please explain in what way the Aperture Science facility is supposedly haunted, Bubby’. What drew you to that conclusion?’

‘Should’ve just said that then, dumbass.’ Bubby replied at last. ‘I mean everyone’s dead. I had to break in to even get inside because corpses can’t open doors.’

‘How’d everyone die?’ Tommy asked.

‘I don’t know and I wasn’t sticking around to find out. I think I’m gonna get a job at NASA instead. They’re more ethical so less fun but I want to go to space anyway.’

‘Maybe we should go check out Aperture? They might need help. Like maybe they did a resonance cascade too.’ Gordon didn’t particularly like the thought of going to a place in the middle of something like that but they’d already dealt with one. They’d be more prepared this time too. If Aperture’s got more out of hand it could come back to bite them.

‘I don’t think that’s it. No one was injured and the air smelled bad. Worse than just normal death smell. It made me feel a bit unwell. I think it was poison.’

It would maybe be a good idea to make absolutely sure that whatever it was wouldn’t crawl up out of the facility and do who knows what. Also like with Black Mesa’s disaster, there might be survivors in need of help. And then there was the technology aspect of it. What all Aperture was working on was a mystery but if any of it was anything like some of Black Mesa’s projects, it was some pretty big stuff, potentially capable of making a big impact on the world. Whatever had been on the Borealis had certainly been a pretty big deal before it vanished a couple years ago, bringing Black Mesa’s spies – it had been a big enough deal to draw all three of them in – with it to never be heard from again. An event big enough that it had become the gossip of the whole Black Mesa facility for like a week, ending once and for all the ‘secret’ part of Black Mesa’s spies at Aperture being an open secret.

On the other hand though, it would be dangerous, the drive down there was multiple days and they were kind of in the middle of something right now. Finding Benrey’s files before someone else on the Black Mesa staff did was important. If they left for that long, someone else would take over the sorting job now that it had been started.

‘Maybe we wait for it to clear out a bit more then go investigate. Or just send other people.’ Gordon had a position of power in Black Mesa now, he could use that to his advantage. Aperture being their long term rival would make it justifiable as a company move too. He wouldn’t condone stealing their research but if they were all dead anyway or just as defunct as Black Mesa now was… Or they could maybe merge and become just the one big science tech company that he was trying to not let be super unethical anymore but Breen was still the boss and likely wouldn’t be willing to continue to bend to Gordon’s will as much as he had been for too much longer. They could still potentially do good things though. If they got there anyway. ‘For now, I gotta get back to work.’

His phone beeped again before he set it to silent and put it down but he ignored it. He was a professional. And Tommy and Dr. Coomer were literally in the room with him so if it was either of them had something important to say or relay from Benrey or Bubby, they could just tell him verbally.

~

By some bastion of luck one of the last already recovered hard drives contained the data on Dr. Coomer’s clones. The experiment had started with cloning mice, then rabbits, then monkeys before finally reaching human studies. Given that it was about cloning, Gordon shouldn’t be surprised to encounter the name ‘Harold Coomer’, especially since he’d decided to keep reading instead of moving on because he’d known of Coomer’s clones, but he kind of was anyway. In his defense it was late and they were staying overtime to finish sorting through the rest of the data so he was tired and his brain was a bit fried. Most of Black Mesa’s experiments being interesting didn’t make them not taxing to sort through.

Tearing his gaze off his screen, he looked up at Dr. Coomer sitting at the desk across from him. They hadn’t discussed what to do should any of them find Dr. Coomer or Bubby’s data. Anyone else at Black Mesa seeing it wouldn’t be as much of an issue as they weren’t being kept secret. But it might still contain the kind of info one or both of them didn’t want the friend group knowing. After all it was kind of like looking at medical records, right?

So Gordon should tell Dr. Coomer what he’d found. Maybe even ask him if he wanted the data deleted or stolen to be put solely into his possession the way they planned to do with Benrey’s. It’d be the polite thing to do. …. On the other hand though, Gordon was curious. It was natural to be curious about one’s super-powered friends, right? Since things had settled down, Gordon had made several attempts to talk to Dr. Coomer about his clones and cybernetics but while he always answered questions, he wasn’t often particularly forthcoming on the specifics of how it all worked. So delving a little bit further into his data couldn’t hurt, right? Just a peek, nothing more.

~

A few hours later, Gordon looked back up after having gone over the whole experiment. That was fine though because most of it had been about the clones and what had gone into trying to make each one more powerful than the last – resulting instead in each clone’s death, making the real Dr. Coomer stronger – and not too, too much about Dr. Coomer himself. Other than his literal medical records which Gordon had only skimmed for the scraps of information it had on his cybernetics. Most of which seemed to have been put in after the cloning had been completed as there wasn’t much about them. It was an entirely different experiment done by an entirely different department so it made sense that there wouldn’t be much.

With a sigh, he pushed back from his desk and stood to stretch. It was just him and Dr. Coomer in the office now. Tommy had left to feed Sunkist her dinner. And about an hour ago, after falling asleep on his keyboard, Darnold, had been shooed off to go home and rest. So now would be a good time to tell Dr. Coomer, Gordon had looked through his cloning records. But… it wasn’t that important, was it? Dr. Coomer wouldn’t care so… no need to share. Gordon should just sit back down and move on.

They were almost done, would’ve been done by now if not for Gordon’s distraction but no one needed to know about that. And then as Black Mesa’s members continued pulling stuff out and bringing it here for safe keeping until the far off distant date when the facility was functional again, Gordon and friends could sort through it right as it came in. Benrey’s stuff would show up eventually, no need to go down there themselves. And then Gordon could easily get a peek at it, just a peek, nothing more. He’d skim it to answer just a few questions before giving it to Benrey to do with as he pleased. Yeah, he hadn’t just skimmed Dr. Coomer’s clone stuff but it was less personal anyway, he’d be better with Benrey’s stuff. And then if he was lucky he’d get to peek at Bubby’s records too and possibly Dr. Coomer’s cybernetics stuff as well.

“You got terribly focused on something for a bit there,” Dr. Coomer said as Gordon sat back down. “Did you find something?”

“Uh…” Gordon should tell him. He’d literally asked and it wasn’t that personal so it was fine that Gordon had looked. “Yeah… um… an experiment that was kind of interesting, wanted to know more, got a bit sucked in on accident. We’re almost done though so… yeah, just a bit more.”

“Ooh, what was the experiment?”

“Light sabers, they were trying to make a real one.” Why was Gordon lying? It was fine. Maybe it was a bit weird to have read through the experiment data without letting Dr. Coomer know about it first but not a big deal. “They failed, unfortunately.” He had indeed skimmed through such an experiment earlier so at least he wasn’t making that up too.

“Ah, a shame. I quite liked Star Wars. Perhaps that is an idea we could return to in the near future. For now though, onwards and upwards.”

With a mostly clear conscious, Gordon got back to work. He’d come clean about looking through it later, wouldn’t even have to admit that he’d lied initially. Just causally bring up that he’d come across it and had read through some of it. Not a big deal at all.

***

“It’ll take longer but if we just keep sorting through all the experiment data as it comes in, your stuff, if its intact, is bound to show up eventually.” Gordon had stayed over at work late to finish sorting through the rest of the stuff they already had only to come home with this. “And no one seems suspicious that its just us and Darnold looking through all of it so the risk of someone else seeing it first is relatively low.”

“Yeah but then I don’t get to participate in the heist.” Of course it would’ve been easier if they’d already had his records waiting to be sorted but it also would’ve been more boring. Going and finding them in the facility itself was far more interesting and would give Benrey something to do other than hang out in the basement for a couple hours a day, trying in vain to find any sort of ‘true form’ while the others to did all the real work for him.

Gordon sighed as he resumed heading into kitchen. “Feeling particularly urgent about it?”

Benrey followed, stopping in the doorway. “Uh… guess so, yeah.” Every failed shape shifting session in the basement, though nowhere near as long or arduous as the first, made him more frustrated with the question. “It’s your fault for making me care ‘bout it even though it doesn’t matter.”

Gordon opened the fridge to stare at its insides. A thing he did frequently. Why was it so hard for him to decide what to eat if he was so hungry he had to eat two or three times a day every day? “I suppose it is, huh? But I think it matters. You might not be the only one of your kind, wouldn’t that be cool to know?”

That thought had come to Benrey multiple times since Gordon had first brought it up and refused to completely dissipate no matter how many times he pushed it away. What if he was an alien with a whole alien race out there somewhere and maybe even a family he’d been taken from Though… “If I’m not the only one, there’s a whole bunch of others out there on Xen just like me, what then, huh? You gonna help me reunite with them?” No, of course he wouldn’t. Going back to Xen would be silly after the resonance cascade.

“Uh… maybe. I mean we’d been going into Xen for years just fine. I don’t even know how long, not my department, but longer than I’d been working there for sure. Not sure how we got there the first time but if we did it once we could do it again. And then once we have one means of travel there and back we just need to not fuck around with anymore resonance experiments and it’ll probably be fine.”

It would still be a risk though. And it would certainly be a lot of work just for Benrey. … No, not just for him. Gordon was a scientist, he wanted to study things and see if he could make a portal to Xen happen just to see if he could. That was fine though because it would still be partially for Benrey, even if only a little, and that would be pretty neat. Assuming he was an alien anyway and not made in the lab from ground up alien plants or something.

“So yeah,” Gordon continued as he finally selected last night’s leftovers from the fridge and moved them to the microwave. “If it turns out you’re an alien and if you wanna meet your people or whatever, I’m sure the others will be willing to help see if we can make it happen. It’ll certainly give us something to do, huh? And uh… speaking of that, I guess tomorrow we’ll meet up with the others discuss if we actually wanna make the drive to get your stuff ourselves or if it might be better to just wait.”

That trip really would be just for Benrey’s sake. No one but him would benefit from it but Gordon was seemingly still open to it. He certainly wasn’t shutting it down anyway even though he was right in it not being strictly necessary. … Probably more of him being nice because he was lonely, traumatized, and scared of being alone. Benrey shouldn’t take advantage of that. “I could walk. Long walk though so uh… you’ll have to find someone else to cuddle at night ‘til I get back. Tommy probably wouldn’t, don’t think he likes touching a whole lot, Coomer or Bubby might though. Sunkist don’t like to be held but she might lay on you if you ask nice.”

“Oh, um nah, dude, walking would takes ages. If you really don’t wanna wait, I’ll uh… drive you down there even if the others don’t wanna join us. Don’t worry about it.”

Benrey could insist and maybe even head out right now. Gordon couldn’t stop him. It would maybe even be the right thing to do since this was without a doubt Gordon’s need to please raising up. Encouraging him in it might not be good for him. … Or maybe it would be good for him and help him eventually get better about it. Benrey barely knew how his own mind and emotions worked, anyone else’s, especially a human’s, was beyond him.

Also it was a very long walk just to get to the facility and then another not as long but still long walk from there to get to the part that his data was housed in. And then all the way back doubled both. The second long walk was inevitable either way as the trams no longer worked but it’d be less boring with company – even if said company would also mean he wouldn’t be cutting as many corners – especially when cutting out the long, lonely boring first part of the trip. So… “Okay. Thanks.”

Gordon hummed an acknowledgment, patting Benrey lightly on the shoulder with his gun hand as he walked past him, bearing his sad microwaved leftovers. “Uh… play something so I got something to watch while I eat?”

“Sure.” Benrey had paused his game to come chat with Gordon upon him returning home so he had no complaints about doing so and followed. They would talk about it more tomorrow. If they decided to wait, Benrey would just go by himself and walk.

~

The conversation was surprisingly brief. Gordon suggested they wait, Benrey said he didn’t want to and would’ve preferred to walk instead. Ultimately they all agreed to go.

With how long the trip to the old Black Mesa facility was and how deep they were planning to delve into it to find what they were looking for, they’d be spending at least one night there, probably more like two but perhaps more. And thus Gordon and the rest of the Science Team bought what they called ‘camping gear’. No tent though, the one thing Benrey associated with the idea of camping.

“We’ll be indoors,” Gordon explained on the drive home when asked, “so a tent’s not really needed. Sleeping bags will do just fine.”

“Lame. Guess it’s not a camping trip though so… whatever.” Benrey had got to see and touch the display tents in the store anyway so not having one was fine.

Gordon sighed. “I really gotta take you out more, huh? Being less lazy would probably be for good me too so… how ‘bout we go real camping sometime? I’ve never been but how hard can it really be?”

“Ooh, where?”

“I don’t now. Maybe somewhere in Colorado. They’re just north of us and supposedly got good outdoorsy areas. Could probably go skiing or something too. …. Or uh, maybe not since you’re cold-blooded so the cold might not be fun for you. So maybe we should stick to the desert.”

“Nah, I wanna go skiing, looks fun.” And the snow, was it really as soft as it looked in games?

“All right, it’s a plan then, I guess. I’ve certainly earned a vacation. So we’ll do that sometime in the near future once were done with… you know.”

From there it wasn’t long before they reached home. The plan had been to pack as soon they were through the door but with only a little bit of prodding, Benrey got Gordon to play some games with him first. They were leaving early tomorrow morning so it was important they get some good game time in today. Gordon did eventually put his foot down though; disappointing but probably for the best.

Some of their supplies were provided by Black Mesa as the trip was being made under the guise of it being another salvage run. Benrey coming along and thus being another body to put a pack on apparently meant extra could be brought. The fact that he wasn’t planning on eating or drinking while there made it a bit annoying to be loaded up with water bottles and food rations but he was being allowed to bring the Game Boy Advance and some games in his pack too so he’d put up with it.

Benrey helped with the packing at first but Gordon apparently found issue with his packing style and shooed him away. Leaving him to just wonder around the bedroom and watch. Or he could head off to play more games until it was bedtime; Gordon could come join him again when he was done packing. But someone needed to make sure he didn’t forget anything important such as the HEV suit still sitting in its box in the closet. He could of course be planning on not taking it out until morning but he was forgetful sometimes and it should probably be put on charge tonight to make sure it was fully powered when they go to the facility so… “Don’t forget the HEV suit.”

Gordon paused and looked up at him. “Why?”

What did he mean ‘why?’ “Might be dangerous.” The deeper one went into a dungeon, the more dangerous it was after all. Not that the facility was the exact same as a video game dungeon but it was close enough that the same basic principle had to apply, right? Especially since it had during their first journey through it.

“Maybe but… no. I’d rather not. It’s heavy, a pain to put on, and probably out of power by now.”

“Yeah, that’s why should bring it out now, put it on charge so its all juiced up tomorrow.”

“I don’t have anything to charge it with and don’t really wanna bother anyway.”

Since the idea had first been brought up, Benrey had been assuming that Gordon putting the HEV suit back on was part of the plan. Unlike their first trip back when they’d only intended to venture into the living area of the facility, they were going deeper. Not as deep as they’d gone in their initial journey through the facility but said journey had proven that deeper meant more dangerous. At the time ‘more dangerous’ had translated to ‘more fun’ for Benrey. Now that he knew and cared more about how weak and fragile Gordon was though that wouldn’t be the case anymore. Especially if he was going without the one thing that had kept him alive that first journey. If he lost another limb, it was probably gone for good. … Or if he died, he wouldn’t come back.

“But uh… what if you die? That’d be a bummer.” … More than a bummer actually. Once the thought had made Benrey sad, now it was making him squirm. Was this what anxiety was? A raising tension caused by a fear that wasn’t sourced by a proper threat, just the potential of one. No wonder Gordon was always so twitchy and unable to hold still whenever he got anxious. It was a very unpleasant feeling. Benrey would like to stop feeling it … “So you should wear the HEV suit just in case.”

Gordon looked back down and continued packing. “Nope, not happening.”

“What if there’s more zombies or the lightening aliens or… or the squid guys? What if the military shows up again?” Almost anything except maybe the first was almost certain death if Gordon got hit without protection, right?

“I doubt any of that’ll happen.”

“Could though. What if we run into more… radiation stuff? That’s bad without the HEV suit for normal humans, right? Or an earthquake hits and uh… a wall falls on you or something. Probably survivable with the HEV suit but not without it.”

Gordon paused and looked up at him again, even straightening to fully tun towards him. “You really worried about me?”

“You’re weak, easy to kill, and wouldn’t come back if you died.”

His confused expression turned into the more familiar annoyed one. “Dude, there’s no need to word it like that. It sounds like a threat.”

Benrey shrugged. “Is true though. Maybe I should just go by myself after all.” In hindsight, he should’ve just gone when first deciding he wanted to look at his records. He’d have already had them by now if he had… assuming the computers they’re on were still intact anyway.

“No, no, no. We’re going with you because we already said we would. And we’re already signed up for the thing so can’t back out now.” Gordon walked around the bed to stand in front of Benrey. Looking down at him, his expression softened again. “I’ll be fine though, ‘kay? I got this,” he held up his gun hand, “and I know how to use it. And all you guys are all kinds of powerful so… I’ll be fine. If I do get hit or something, you could just bleed on me a bit and that’ll fix it. We already tested that, remember?”

“I guess so, yeah.” Logically it made no sense to be so worried and normally Benrey wouldn’t be. Worrying about things wasn’t his style. It never accomplished anything, much easier to just roll with whatever happened as it happened. None of it could permanently hurt him anyway so why concern himself much with any of it? But he wouldn’t be able to just roll with it if Gordon died or got hurt in some other permanent way that couldn’t be fixed.

Somehow Gordon had gone from a fun fascination to worming his way into Benrey’s brain and making him feel all sorts of things he didn’t normally feel. Some of those were pleasant feelings but this was very much the opposite. This feeling sucked even more than Gordon having made him care about his past and whether or not he had a true form. And that was saying something because that sucked pretty bad. Even worse would be if Benrey’s newfound anxieties did come true.

“You okay?” Gordon asked, drawing Benrey’s gaze back up to him. He was giving Benrey a mildly concerned look. … His annoyed looks were more fun. That was the problem with getting closer to him; he was annoyed with Benrey less often and worried for him more instead. People being worried for him sucked. The only concern Gordon or anyone should be feeling in regards to Benrey is concern for what kind of mischief he might get up to. But Benrey was concerned for him too, meaning they were concerned for each other. Which was stupid.

“I’ve never felt like this before. I don’t like it. It’s lame.”

“Like what?”

Part of Benrey didn’t want to say but Gordon had told him he could talk to him about things and this was certainly a thing. “Anxious.”

Gordon stared at him for a beat or two in silence before letting a slight chuckle. “Oh dude, being anxious sucks so much, believe me, I know. But uh… uh…” The mirth left his voice as he expression to something more serious. “You’re uh… really actually anxious that I might die or something?”

Benrey had just got done saying so. But by now he was mostly used to Gordon needing things repeated for him. “Yeah or getting hurt in a way that can’t be fixed again. Could lose you other hand or… a foot or something.”

“Please don’t put that thought in my head. But uh… wow, um… didn’t think you… Being anxious sucks. So how ‘bout, because I can’t put the suit back on even if I’d wanted to, if it’ll make you feel better, I stay at the back of the group?

“Middle of the group. Something could sneak up behind.”

“Okay. Middle of the group then. And I promise I’ll be careful as I can be because trust me, I don’t wanna die or lose another body party either. That help you feel a bit less anxious? I know it’s not that easy but… you know, there’s only so much we do about anxiety while still living our lives.”

“Guess it’s better than nothing.” And once they were deeper in the facility Benrey would stick close to him, make sure nothing take advantage of how weak he was.

“Good. Now, I should finish packing. But first uh… I um… uh…” He lifted his hand as if intended to touch Benrey’s shoulder or perhaps go a bit higher to his face. He did neither though as he grimaced and pulled away instead. “You’re a good friend. Thanks for uh… that, being a good friend. It’s… I appreciate it.” Before he’d even finished speaking he was back pedaling, going back around to resume packing, doing so with a bit more intensity than before.

Sweet. Benrey was a good friend. That somehow made the negative feelings Gordon inspired in him more bearable. Being anxious sucked but at least it made him a good friend. … Which also meant Gordon being worried about him, made Gordon a good friend too. It was still uncalled for and kind of annoying but maybe it wasn’t the worst thing in the world.

~

Next Chapter

[avastrasposts]

Hello!

So I just realised about 300+ people decided to follow me and, I suppose, read my stories? And 300 is such a small number but to me it's surreal that so many of you want to read what I write!

So I thought I'd introduce myself a little, just to be polite you know, and be like those author blurbs they put on the inside flap of books. So read on if you want to know more about me and my writing, or just keep scrolling if you'd rather I remain a redheaded mystery with a thing for Frankie Morales.

Also, chapter 16 of The Pilot and his Girl will be posted tomorrow, it just needs another round of editing.

Also, again, this got long, so if you can't be bothered reading all my ramblings below the cut, I totally understand. I have a habit of getting wordy....

So, I'm in my 40's and I've been writing for most of my life, starting with embarrassing little short stories in adorable misspelled fashion when I was just wee. I aspired to be a journalist and then went on a completely different tangent career wise, ending up with a PhD in an area I no longer work in (fifteen years of higher education never to be touched again but you definitely want me on your team in a pub quiz!). I have vague memories of writing fan fiction in my early 20, I think? (I'm old, give me a break). But I only got back to it late last year as a way to kick start my imagination and discipline around writing again. I needed a creative outlet and writing is something I always enjoyed and found easy to do.

I live in England, in the amazing but fucking expensive city of London. I look pretty much like my profile picture, only more wrinkles and maybe a bit of silver in all that gingerness. I'm a very good cook and baker (Pedro, I'll teach you how to cook any day!) and I'm married to my very own sweet Latino man. He's not called Frankie but he does call me cariño. I have big chunk of family in Sweden and I speak a little bit of Swedish (it's actually where I am right now, we're over here celebrating midsummer).

I started writing fanfics for The Boys fandom and Karl Urban as I was binging the whole show after finishing season 4. Then I stumbled into the Pedro Pascal fandom as I watched The Last of Us.

TLoU has a very special place in my heart. I've been gaming since my early teens and bought a Playstation 3 after saving for months, my first console after playing on PC for years. When TLoU came out in 2013 I bought and played it straight away and I, like so many others, had an experience playing it. It's the only story, in any medium, that's made me cry after just 10-15 minutes of game play. The scene were Sarah dies, still gets me every time. And the rest of the game...I turned up at work the next week in a daze, just needing to tell people about this incredible story and experience I'd had. It was like no other game I'd ever played, before or since. And I've replayed the game about once a year since 2013. Back then, that kind of game was totally unique, there was nothing like it. Some games had explored stronger story telling elements, but not on this level, nothing came even close to creating such a bond between gamer and characters. Now days we're spoiled by powerful storytelling in video games, in 2013, The Last of Us was totally unique (sorry, I'm blabbering, but I could go on at length about TLoU and the impact it had).

So when I heard there was talks about turning into a tv-series, I was scared. Really worried. The gaming community have seen so many horrendous adaptations of video games, my beloved Assassin's Creed was butchered in 2016. But then I heard Pedro Pascal had been cast as Joel and I was carefully hopeful, and then Bella Ramsey as Ellie and I got really excited. I'd seen them both in Game of Thrones, both of their performances sticking in my mind. I even remember reading about Pedro being cast in GoT and looking him up and being disappointed because he looked nothing like I'd pictured the Red Viper when I read the books. But then he just swanned in and crushed it, he was so damn good, he won me over straight away. I can't imagine anyone else playing Oberyn.

And then of course, the first few trailers of TLoU dropped and we got glimpses of the show and I remember texting my equally TLoU obsessed friend and we squealed in delight at how good it looked! And the first time I heard the clicker sound....I shuddered, it was a very real physical reaction. If I'd been on the actual set and heard it, I think I would've run a mile.

And then, as I was still writing The British Connection, a fic set in The Boys fandom, I watched Triple Frontier, and, like so many others, fell hard for sweet Frankie Morales. So jumping the gun a bit, I decided to write something with him, just a drabble, to get used to writing him and to write in the Reader insert format. But it kind a grew in scope and when I had the idea of sticking him and the rest of the Triple Frontier boys into TLoU universe I knew I had to create something bigger.

Looking back I would've made the story tighter, less lengthy, had I known from the start that's where it was going to go. But part of the fun of fan fiction is posting as you go, I think. I get feedback from you guys and it makes me think of other elements to add to the story. There isn't always a set road map for how a fic is going to develop.

If you've made it this far, congratulations and thank you, I'm impressed you read all that rambling from some stranger on Tumblr! The Pilot and his Girl has a set plan now, I have chapters drawn up and although I'm not sure how many chapters I'm going to end up with, I know where the story is going. You'll find out what's happened to Pope, Will and Benny. And Joel and Tommy will of course come back to the story later on. There will be more trauma and angst as the story continues but there will be a happy ending, of sorts, in the end.

And again, thank you all for reading, commenting and reblogging! I love you all!

[iloveyanderes]

Shikama doji/sika madu yandere analysis, this is mainly for me and my friend that will probably never read this despite the fact that they'll probably never read it, warning bad words and sexual themes.

This same friend made me read the manga and I have to say no character has such a big of an impact on me as shikama doji gives me, this man is number two on my list of favorite characters, sitting right next to my beloved shiraori(btw I headcanon the both of them as siblings) and I've noticed a very short amount of fics on him, I've really only found one so if someone could send me some more I haven't found it be very appreciated.

Anyway moving on the analysis we go into the first part, his character.

To this day he remains very mysterious, he's an angel like character who's intentions still remain partly hidden, my greatest guess is that he wants to revive his son Mika but Mika is kind of alive? Maybe there's like two Mika's and he attempted to create a perfect replica of his son but failed so many times until we got our current Mika? Maybe our Mika is a reincarnation of his son and shikama knows this but that wouldn't make sense since he kinda was really unnice towards Mika when he was turning into a demon and destroyed his dreams, one thing is clear is that he has an attachment towards his son because he quite litterly kept him in a clear coffin for an unknown amount of time, I'd guess about a thousand years.

He also is very manipulative while making himself seem almost saintlike, he uses people and then abandons him, he seems to care about people by calling them endearments before threatening to kill them and attempting to follow through with it.

I imagine him as a controlling yandere, while also being a training yandere(one that trains you to act a certain way), he's not one to lose his temper but on the rare occasion he does I pray for you. He's also not big on physical punishments, most of the time he'd opt for mental ones, even so he does really not like punishments going more for positive reinforcement. Kidnapping you is a pretty much guaranteed but locking you up really depends on the situation, a bit protective but really possessive.

I have so many ideas for this guy and I'm so excited to share them with you.

If we were talking Platonic yandere I have a couple ideas.

1.you being the angel Mika's twin brother, after his son died he'd probably lock you up, on a tower like Rapunzel, funny enough I could imagine him singing mother knows best,.in this idea I don't think he'd ever let you talk to anyone other then him, he would leave you alone for days sometimes even months, only to appear at the most random times, brushing your hair so delicately as if he didn't just leave you totally isolated for the longest time. He's overprotective anyone that even dares go near you will meet death, you wouldn't believe how many of his fledgling vampire accidentally walked into your quarters and perished.

2. Your one of the orphans he took in and turned into vampires, in this idea he would give you a lot more freedom, not consistently worried that your going to die if someone bad even looks at you, though he would keep you with him all hours of the day, those other Orphans and salves he brought? They wouldn't even have the chance to express there jealousy towards you simply because you have never once left his side, he'd also occasionally wrap you in his wings and hold your tiny body next to him, I don't think he'd let you age, preferring to keep you as a tiny child that he could forever manipulate.

3. This is my final idea for platonic yandere and definitely the funniest in my opinion, imagine if you were his younger sibling and he absolutely adored you from birth, taking over the job of whatever parents the two of you came from, being there when you said your first word, when you took your first steps, EVERYTHING. The funny part of this comes from you, you've always known that your brother Is a psychopath, you know about the people he's tortured despite how hard he's tried to hide it, you want nothing more to get the absolute fuck away from him, he's absolutely fucking delusional, everytime you try to hide from him he somehow convinces himself that your playing hide and seek, every time you run he's right behind you asking where your going in such a hurry, he follows you everywhere and your trying to get the Frick away from him. Imagine you somehow manage to seal him away for a couple hundred years and you meet our Mika and yuu and get super confused about it, wtf is his son here and the weird creation that he made. Imagine just dreaming peacefully, feeling happy you don't have to deal with your brother anymore and waking up terrified when your brother whose now possessing shinoa is hugging you, screaming on the top of your lungs and bolting down the hallway of whatever house you decided to sleep in. Basically this entire idea is you running while screaming and him following you.

Moving on the the romantic yandere:

1. Imagine being a cute little bird he found one day, one of that he ended up liking a little too much, so much that he turned you human and kept you in a cage, a cute golden one only for the most beautiful of birds, almost no one knows about you and it's going to stay that way, he's very territorial over you, being an angel himself he thinks of birds as lesser beings, so technically he owns you.

2. Instead of shinoa getting him as cursed gear, he gets you instead, though unlike shinoa he ends up liking you a little too much, haunting your dreams every night, clinging so close, and forcibly possessing your body just so he could be a little bit closer to you, he's with you all hours of the day.

3. Your one of his servant, you were a slave he bought and you listen to every single one of his orders, when he wants you to kill someone you do it, when he wants you to watch as he tortures an innocent person you had the audacity to help you do it, when he demands that you place your head in his lap you do it. With him you don't have anymore free will, just him only him.

This is all I've got for now, pls let me know what you thought of this and feel free to give me your ideas! Have a great day.

[wildgeese98]

I want to write down some of my thoughts about Magnus Protocol so far. I am definitely enjoying it. It's really fun listening as the episodes come out and screaming with everyone on here afterwards. I'm having a blast theorizing and analyzing. But my opinion of the show is still evolving. It's early days, but I am beginning to settle on the things I do and don't like about the show so far.

It's inevitable that Protocol will be constantly compared to Archives. It is of course a sequel and will suffer the heightened scrutiny that all sequals are subject to. The two biggest differences I've noticed so far have to do with pacing and characters.

Archives started slow, very slow, and I love that about it. Season one remains my favorite. In my mind nothing will ever compare up to the way the danger slowly creeps into the story, appearing in little drips and bursts until it suddenly explodes and everything gets turned upside down. Protocol has made no attempt to emulate this slow build up. We are almost immediately plunged into the thick of things. I think this was a good choice. As much as I yearn for that season one slow burn there's no way something like that could work now. Not when the majority of the audience is coming in champing at the bit for the story. I just hope they will be able to maintain this pace. After episode 7 things seem to be happening very quickly and I worry that too much might be revealed too soon in an effort to keep everyone engaged. I personally would love a bit of delayed gratification on some of these mysteries, even as I'm frothing at the mouth with curiosity.

As a consequence of this faster, more plot laden pace I have noticed something of a de-emphasis of the statements/cases in favor of plot progressing dialog. This isn't necessarily a bad thing. Nor is it something that sets Protocol totally apart from Archives. Seasons three and four had almost as much dialog before and after statements. However I do hope that the cases get some room to breath as the early season excitement evens out. I would love a few episodes that end on a case with little to no dialog afterwards. In some of these early episodes I feel like the dialog has kind of stepped on the cases and lessened their impact. As much as I am here for the plot and the mystery, the statements are what made me fall in love with Archives. Some of my favorite episodes are not relevant to the plot at all. It seems like there is less room for that in Protocol, which I figured would be the case but I would still like to see them allowed a little more space.

Speaking of the cases, my opinions on the eight we've had so far have varied for "oh this is very cool" to "meh, ok". Nothing has really wowed me yet but none have fallen completely flat either. My favorite so far is either Making Adjustments or Putting Down Roots. I'll be honest I have been a little sad about the lack of Jonny written cases. I know Protocol is much more of a group effort, but Jonny's writing is a big part of why I'm here. Granted he has had some hand in all of the episodes. Still there really is nothing like a fully Jonny written episode. Though neither of my two favorites were written by him so maybe I should be keeping a more open mind. It was an interesting decision to front load so many of the guest writers into these early episodes. There are 24 guest writers slated and we've already had three back to back. I suppose with almost a third of the episodes featuring guest writers they will be fairly frequent and It has gotten the audience used to the concept early on.

Side note: I was looking at the list of guest writers and it includes both Muna Hussen and Jon Ware, creators of I am in Eskew and the Silt Verses. I am positively wriggling with excitement to see what they come up with for their episodes.

The other big difference I've noticed between Archives and Protocol is the characters and how they're interacting. We knew already that we would be jumping in with an ensemble already established. It took Archives quite a while to build up to this many regular characters and even then Jon was the Main Guy throughout. Now, despite Sam somewhat falling into the main character role, we have a much more even focus on all the characters. This I think is what is going to truly differentiate Protocol from Archives. Broadening the focus to a whole group rather than just the one guy (as much as we might love that guy) feels like it will open up so many more directions for the narrative to go. We have the potential for side plots and multiple narrative threads happening at once. We are already seeing this play out as Sam and Alice, Gwen and Lena, Colin, and now Celia all have their own separate yet connected things going on. I'm excited to get more of everyone's back story and to see how they all react as the plot puts more pressure on them.

I really am enjoying Protocol however if I am being honest most of my enjoyment is coming from the mysteries and overarching plot rather than the cases. This is a total reversal from my feelings about Archives, where I was mostly there for the individual statements and at first tolerated, then eventually enjoyed the overarching plot. This isn't to say that the Protocol cases have been bad. They just haven't grabbed me like Archives did. There is also still plenty of time for this to change. The problem right now with comparing the two is Archives is a full, completed story and Protocol currently consists of 7 episodes (8 if you're a fancy early access person). It is just too early to fully judge Protocol, either on its own or in relation to Archives.

Overall what really matters to me is I'm having fun and I've got something to look forward to every week. I think to key to fully enjoying Protocol is accepting that it is never going to scratch the exact same itch that Archives did. Still, it has the potential to be its own different but equally satisfying experience.

[dolphin1812]

We see the impact of M Leblanc's charity now! . . . but it's limited. Those two new blankets will be a big help (given the winter weather), but the money didn't fix the Jondrette family's broader problems (and not just because M Jondrette isn't going to spend all of the money on his family). Once again, charity's utility is shown to be limited, even if it's certainly a kind gesture.

And Jondrette continues to be cruel. His decision to use the money for one of his schemes is awful, but it's not even his only horrible act in this chapter. He casts his daughters out into the cold just because they don't recognize M Leblanc, and, given that he says they saw him 8 years ago, they were both young children when they first saw him (and therefore, it makes sense that they wouldn't remember him). That moment suggests that M Jondrette is not only harsh but self-absorbed, feeling frustrated when others don't see things/people the exact way he does because it impedes his schemes. His wife shares his anger once he points out the girl (and wow, I wonder who this very mysterious woman who has a sneaky husband, loves only her daughters, and hates a "beggar" girl could be), but her rage is still mediated by other concerns. For instance, she assumes that the left-over sums after the purchase of charcoal will be for food, and she's confused when her husband says that they can't worry about that now. She's definitely a willing participant in his plan this time, but she also has other priorities and is probably thinking more of how she can keep her daughters from starving (a very real worry, given that the eldest often hallucinates from hunger) than of how she can dedicate all her energy to getting M Leblanc's money.

Although the Jondrette parents (especially M Jondrette) are pretty despicable, their very reasonable desires are given a sinister edge because of our lack of knowledge of how they'll achieve them in a way that's fun plot-wise. Here's one example:

"“My fortune is made.”

The woman stared at him with the look that signifies: “Is the person who is addressing me on the point of going mad?”

He went on:—

“Thunder! It was not so very long ago that I was a parishioner of the parish of die-of-hunger-if-you-have-a-fire,-die-of-cold-if-you-have-bread! I have had enough of misery! my share and other people’s share! I am not joking any longer, I don’t find it comic any more, I’ve had enough of puns, good God! no more farces, Eternal Father! I want to eat till I am full, I want to drink my fill! to gormandize! to sleep! to do nothing! I want to have my turn, so I do, come now! before I die! I want to be a bit of a millionnaire!”

He took a turn round the hovel, and added:—

“Like other people.”"

Mme Jondrette's look is just funny, but M Jondrette's desires are (mostly) very understandable. Of course he wants to be full after always being hungry! Of course he wants to escape this dilemma of choosing between warmth and food! But his "like other people" is ambiguous and somewhat threatening. It could be a simple statement that not everyone suffers like he has. He merely wants to experience joys that most people get to, like eating. It could, however, be that he wants to "be a bit of a millionnaire" like M Leblanc, making this comment menacing rather than a simple expression of what he's lacked. We know that he's plotting something, but this feels like one of the better instances of Hugo expressing M Jondrette's needs and making them sinister? His comments about his poverty are sad to read because they stem from genuine suffering, but Hugo also wants us to see Jondrette as evil. Consequently, there can be a lot of tension between the sympathy his situation demands and the awareness that he's a horrible person. Here, the greed at the end ("millionnaire") and the implied threat at least succeeds in making him threatening.

And this was a wonderful line:

"“Bah! Who’s here? Our neighbor? I saw him go out a little while ago. Besides, he doesn’t listen, the big booby. And I tell you that I saw him go out.”"

[adamwatchesmovies]

The Imposter (2012)

On paper, The Imposter sounds like a jazzed-up episode of Cold Case Files. It’s got archival footage, interviews, re-enactments and a real-life mystery that’s so wild its honesty seems dodgy. The mystery is compelling, the scenario is unusual but it doesn’t feel like something that needed to be on the big screen. That’s until the film drops a bombshell of an idea on you. At that point, you forget this is a movie and not a live news broadcast. You keep wondering if the case will break wide open before your very eyes. Then, there’s another big revelation that makes you question everything you saw previously. This is the kind of documentary that sticks with you long after it’s over.

In 1994, 13-year-old Nicholas Patrick Barclay vanished. Three years later, Frédéric Bourdin, a 23-year-old living in Spain contacted the police, claiming to be Nicholas. Inconceivably, Bourdin was accepted with open arms by the boy’s family.

You can understand why this is one of those true stories that feels like it was made up. Early on, we see Bourdin talk about what drove him to pretend to be Nicholas. You buy it but for him to fool everyone the way he did? It seems impossible. Nicholas was a blond American with blue eyes. Frédéric speaks with a French accent, has black hair and brown eyes. He’s also 7 years older than Nicholas would be and living in Europe. Even with all the techniques he used to make himself look like Nicholas, how could Bourdin deceive everyone? You have to know.

After seeing the interviews with Nicholas’ family, you can sort of understand what happened. When a child goes missing, you eventually accept that you will never see them alive again. You know they’re dead but a part of you wants to know what happened, no matter how horrific it might be - because that void is so much worse. Even so, was Nicholas’ family really convinced, or did they convince themselves that they were convinced so they could leave the agony of the unknown behind? As crazy as Bourdin fooling those who knew Nicholas sounds, you can understand how grief might’ve blinded them to the obvious. What’s just as bewildering is that he also managed to fool police officials and even FBI agents.

I don’t want to say too much and risk spoiling the later surprises. The initial situation is crazy enough but then, it gets even loonier because you learn certain things about Bourdin, the family that adopts him and about Nicholas that turn this fascinating real-life case of Catch Me If You Can into a white-knuckle thriller. It shouldn’t be as intense as it is because you know who’s still alive/free in 2012 but in the moment, you forget that you know. Once the credits finish rolling, you better hope you were watching The Imposter with someone else. You'll be compelled to turn to ask “So… what do you think really happened at the end?” when you do, you'll have an epiphany. “What a second, am I doing exactly what they wanted me to do?” There’s a particular line that Nicholas’ sister says about what this spotlight brought to the family that really stuck with me. You’ll know which one I’m talking about when you see it.

The Imposter is a real-life story you can never forget. You also won’t forget the way it makes you feel. For a long time, you might think you’ve cemented your feelings towards this one person, only for your thoughts about them to make a complete 180. The testimonies are moving and thought-provoking. The re-enactment footage is equally effective. Adam O’Brian plays a younger version of Bourdin and he’s got his mannerisms down to a tee, particularly his facial expressions. I didn’t even realize they were different people until I watched the special features.

Like many documentaries, I don’t know if The Imposter would have the same impact on you upon a re-watch but I can imagine myself seeing it again, if only to see how others react to its big questions. (September 21, 2023)