#they love each other so much and i am being parasocial but whatever...

[bedforddanes75]

i say i dont care about celebrities and their relationships However i scream and cry and jump for joy when charli posts george

[badaleesbish]

I want to see something where Bada gets idol!reader pregnant and their relationship is public. I dont have a plot just want to see something cute. Maybe throw in some drama cause why not

Down bad bada is a must

What A Life. | Bada Lee x Reader

°SUMMARY:

"𝚆𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚊 𝚕𝚒𝚏𝚎."

"𝚆𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚊 𝚕𝚒𝚏𝚎 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝙸'𝚟𝚎 𝚋𝚎𝚎𝚗 𝚐𝚒𝚟𝚎𝚗."

"𝚆𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚊 𝚕𝚒𝚏𝚎."

"𝚆𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚊 𝚕𝚒𝚏𝚎 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝙸'𝚟𝚎 𝚋𝚎𝚎𝚗 𝚕𝚒𝚟𝚒𝚗𝚐."

"𝚆𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚊 𝚕𝚒𝚏𝚎."

~ 𝙹𝚑𝚎𝚗𝚎 𝙰𝚒𝚔𝚘 - 𝚂𝚝𝚊𝚢 𝚁𝚎𝚊𝚍𝚢 (𝚆𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚊 𝙻𝚒𝚏𝚎)

°CW:

𝚏𝚕𝚞𝚏𝚏, 𝚊𝚗𝚐𝚜𝚝, 𝚐!𝚙 𝚋𝚊𝚍𝚊, 𝚝𝚘𝚡𝚒𝚌 𝚌𝚘𝚖𝚙𝚊𝚗𝚢, 𝚝𝚘𝚡𝚒𝚌 𝚏𝚊𝚗 𝚋𝚊𝚜𝚎 (𝚛. & 𝚋𝚊𝚍𝚊), 𝙳𝙸𝙳 𝙽𝙾𝚃 𝙿𝚁𝙾𝙾𝙵 𝚁𝙴𝙰𝙳‼️ 𝚂𝙾𝚁𝚁𝚈 𝙵𝙾𝚁 𝙼𝙸𝚂𝚃𝙰𝙺𝙴𝚂‼️

There is a lot to being an idol. From having some sort of talent, just simply being a pretty face to look at to strict diets and contracts, hectic overloaded schedules, and toxic groups and companies, but there is something that is expected of you is an idol. Can you guess what it is...

Being the only one for your fans, a parasocial relationship if you will. You are supposed to stay pure and innocent for your fans, no sex, no relationship, no children, no drinking or smoking, no potty mouth. You are supposed to keep your fans as happy as possible, whether it makes you uncomfortable or not. Just do it with a smile, they say. Well, so much for not "breaking" the "idol rules."

You may have screwed up a few months into your solo career as an idol. Your relationship with your choreographer, Bada Lee, was exposed by fucking sasaengs and then was quickly picked up by Dispatch, fucking snitch. There was some hate with comments on your social media like,

"Unnie, you are not ashamed for abandoning us like this?"

"Well... there goes her career."

"Noona, a woman, seriously?!?!? Maybe you should get a real MAN?!?!"

"Wow, so we fuck our choreographers now."

"STAY AWAY BADA, YOU DIRTY CUNT!!!"

But despite the hate, you and Bada decided to go public with your relationship, which gained quite a bit of support with comments from both your fanbases,

"Come on, guys, just admit it. They are cute as fuck."

"Love it!!!"

"Both of my worlds are colliding. What the actual fuck?!?!?."

"My parents are so cute!!!"

"Made for each other fr."

"Look at how they look at each other."

You both were happy. Your careers were skyrocketing, and you two still had somewhat of a supportive fanbase together and solo. Your company were somewhat supportive but still made you apologize to fans to regain their trust again.

"So what you are telling me is that I have to apologize for falling in love?" You scoffed as you sat across from your manager and a couple of members of your staff. "Are you hearing yourself right now?"

"Well, ma'am, you signed a contract that states everything regarding the dating ban as well as the consequences that may follow if broken." Your manager said, pushing the contract towards you as well as pen and paper to follow. "It's there in black and white, ma'am."

"So what's next? Are you gonna make me apologize for getting married and starting a family, too? You said as you began to write your heartfelt apology to your fans.

"Well, let's just hope that doesn't happen, right?" Your manager said as he leaned back in his seat with a smirk on his face. "You are our money maker, sweetheart, so we kind of need you. Tell your bitch to wrap that shit up, okay?"

"Yeah, whatever." You scoffed as you pushed the pan and paper back towards him, standing from your seat as you made your way to the door. "Also, if I were you, I'd watch what the fuck I say since ya know, I am your money maker."

"So what do we do with it?"

"Bada, you don't have to do anything. I have to handle this."

"It should be fairly easy, right?"

Bada was quite confused about the whole situation. It's like, at one moment, you were perfectly fine and then you end up sick at the simple scent or taste of a food. At first you both thought it was your menstrual cycle until you realized you were a whole two weeks late. It can't be, right? There's no way... Is there?

"Okay, I'll just read the instructions and just go for it. What's the worst that could happen?" You grabbed the bag of pregnancy test and made your way to the bathroom with Bada hot on your heels. "Baby, just let me take the test, okay? Alone, please?"

"Yeah, of course. If you need me, just call." Bada said, kissing your forehead before backing up allowing you to walk into the bathroom. "I'll be right here, okay?"

You nodded as you closed the door behind you. Nerves began to rush over your body as you pulled the test from the bag and began to read the instructions.

"Okay, step one, remove the plastic cap and use immediately. Step two, hold the absorbent tip in urine stream for five seconds. Step three, replace cap and lay test flat. Step four, wait 1 to 3 minutes for results." You read, taking deep breath after the mouth full. "Alright, seems simple."

After five tests, constant hand washing and the struggle of just trying to pee on the stick, you were finally done and now is the even more nerve-wracking part, waiting for the results. The three minutes seemed like hours, but it was time, and to be honest, you were scared shit less. If these tests come out positive, what will this mean for both of your careers?

"Bada..." You called out for your girlfriend on the other side of the door. "Come in here now."

"What does it say? Baby, why are you crying?" Bada said as she rushed into the bathroom to see you sitting on the floor with a test in your hands as tears stream down your cheeks.

Bada looked over to the other tests on the counter. Her hands flew over her mouth as she let out gasp. "Positive... it's positive."

Bada sat next to you, wrapping her arms around your body as you sob into her shirt, still gripping to test in your hand. You are pregnant, and there's no going back now. It's not that you don't want children, you do, but not this early and not like this. You wanted to getting married and be settled, no more idol life just you, Bada and your baby living somewhere discreet and outside the public eye.

"What are we gonna do, Bada? What about my career? What about your career? The fans? The company?" You began to play out everything in your head of what would happen if the public found out. All the backlash and more negative comments. "I'm scared, Bada."

"Hey, it's you and I, okay? Don't worry about all of that. If this was not meant to be, then it would have never happened." Bada lifted your head as she wiped your falling tears, gently caressing your cheeks. "It's okay to be scared, baby. This is new for both of us. We're gonna take it one step at a time. Together."

You smiled weakly as you leaned into her touch, nodding in agreeance. "I love you."

"I love you too." Bada said, pulling you into a kiss. "We got this."

"We got this."

°AN:

Ummm... I really hope you enjoy this, and I am sorry for the VERY late response. Enjoy, tho!!! 💙

[sunnist4rs]

Blare White is super misogynistic… he also supports trump. You know the anti abortion, pro rape guy. I think you may be defining who you love/idolize and what you say you think based on who entertains you the most on social media/YouTube and your personal connections rather than really getting into WHY each view is right or wrong factually/ethically, and aiming to be consistent. To be clear I myself am a radfem and (within that) critical of gender ideology I am not trying to convince you to not criticize gender ideology or to not criticize specific trans identified people. Yes: some people Blaire white and that kind of guy opposes are also fucked up people who do harm. But the enemy of an enemy does not alone make a friend and I encourage you to look with a more critical eye at anyone aligned right wing and against women, whether they are novelties or famous on YouTube or whatever else or not

Among other things remember Blaire white is just a man who calls self woman but hates the other men who call themselves women. His critique of them is typically either copied (without him really understanding) from feminist women, or at other times basically rooted in him saying those other trans women are ugly or don’t pass or haven’t done [insert random shit] “Blaire” thinks makes him a real woman and these other trans women into pretenders. It’s just an egotistical man getting attention and money off of this while still claiming he’s a woman and doing so for sexist (“I pass as feminine so that makes me a woman” = sexist) reasons. This issue that is actually impacting women and girls (a category that doesn’t include him)

Thanks for sending me this ask (and being so civil about it). Before I joined the radfem community (and when I wrote my bio) I was pretty conservative but the more evidence of woman’s oppression I’ve seen, the more leftist I’ve become. This has left me feeling kind of lost because the people like Blair White who I used to turn to for comfort on bad days and to hear what I thought were reasonable political opinions no longer click with me. I don’t resonate with her (I’m gonna use she/her even though I’m he’s a dude because I do have that personal attachment right now so it just feels right) beliefs anymore but distancing myself from her feels wrong because she’s been a part of my life for a while, y’know.

I don’t watch YouTube much so I haven’t seen one of her videos since I became a radfem. But, I do remember how my old community used to act so Ik if I did watch another video of hers I’d be disgusted and disappointed by her behaviour (I almost want to avoid watching her at all so that I can keep pretending I align with her side- also I’m aware this is pretty parasocial, I’ll work on that). While I’ve become more aware of this I’ve continued to defend and preach how good her content is as a way of pretending I do still like her to myself. I knew I was doing this but I didn’t really think about it until now.

I’m pretty good at thinking critically about the media I consume, it’s just something I’ve always done when discovering something new to enjoy. But I think Ive developed a blind spot for people I previously loved as while I agreed with them in the past. Now however, me promoting their ideology is hypocritical at best. I’ve been practicing separatism (that’s not the word I want to use Ik it) more and more in my daily life. I now realise the next step I need to take is starting to distance myself from these people as they’re making me into someone I don’t want to be (hypocrites are one of my biggest red flags).

Thanks again for the ask as it’s genuinely helped me uncover a therapeutic break through lol. Whether or not that was your intent it’s definitely gonna help me be a better feminist and improve my life so thanks.

[nesisamess]

my first impressions of the characters from the twitter post thing that DRDTDev made about the other killing game. First off: I love all of them, and half the cast gives me gender envy. I am continually impressed at DRDTDev’s character designing ability, especially in making them interesting, non-boring designs that still communicate their personality and aren’t too complex or over designed. ugh. love them for it (/platonically and/or parasocially)

Also, this post will be kinda assuming you’ve already read the very little info we have about them. If you haven’t, go here: https://href.li/?https://t.co/muTM8j8MPH

ANYWAYS

First off, here’s an image of the characters!!

Beautiful, right?

…

Just take a few seconds to admire them.

Ok! I’ll be going over some theories that relate to all of the characters, and then character by character, and then at the end a little general reflection.

So, one of the main theories that have been posed is that this killing game takes place before the events of DRDT, which I am like 87% sure of (up 7% from my last post, woo). It makes sense, especially in the context of the other theories regarding the characters. As well as this, it just makes sense timeline-wise.

There is also a theory that every character is somehow connected to someone in the current killing game, which I am still a little unsure of. I can definitely see it for some characters, but we know so little about each of them that it’s really hard to say whether or not that’s true. I will be going over who I think could be connected to who, just in case it does end up being true. However, I think a more likely theory is that a couple of the people involved in this killing game (likely the survivors) are connected to the current one, and exactly how much is up for us to discover.

Ok, on to the characters!

First off!

(I don’t know why, but she’s the only one who’s photo is cropped. oh well)

Pretty!! For the sake of this post, I’ll be calling her Spiral (I will be using the names that @xmicrophonyx came up with!).

My first thought when I saw her (besides the obligatory screeching) was that she gave me teacher vibes? That might be since I already had the context of this story being “about a person who wants to become the perfect teacher”. But outside of that, she definitely looks shy, with her hunched over posture and expression. I do adore her color palette, and the pops of teal add a lot.

In terms of a possible talent/role, I still think she gives teacher-y vibes, whatever that means, although outside of that I would think her talent is something a little more professional, considering her attire being formal (the coat, top, and scarf most of all). So other possibilities could be a secretary, librarian, buisness woman, etc.

Spiral could also be some kind of fancy art critic, or someone who works with the Spurling Foundation, if we need to connect her to the current killing game somehow.

—

Next up!

The boy!!!!

I’m going to be honest with you. I think he’s my favorite. His demeanor, the neon green jacket, the fingerless gloves, the cap, the khaki capri pants, the aura of a 14 year old shoujo protagonist—he is the moment. The fan name for him is Soundwave.

I think he likely deals with music, since the pattern on his shirt reminds me of sound recordings. Specifically, he probably is into the more technical side of music, such as EDM or techno or something like that (I know pretty much nothing about music, so take my word with a grain of salt).

Because of this, I think Soundwave would be connected to J. J also is in a similar sort of technical profession, so I think that maybe he could be someone who ends up working with J in the future/has worked with J or something like that.

There’s one thing with Soundwave that also is present in 2 of the other characters—he looks quite a bit younger than most of the cast. He’s shorter, yes, but his proportions also make him seem younger. However, the DRDTDev specifies that all of the characters present are 18 or above, so it likely doesn’t mean anything. People can just look young, after all.

I think that’s all, but I’m really excited to learn more about this character because he just seems so fun :)

—

Oh boy, let’s talk about them…

Hello there, XF. I will also be trying my best to use all of his pronouns! (Those being he/she/they). I am so happy to have yet another gender-non-conforming character in the general DRDT universe, and it is amazing to see such a wide array of diversity and representation in this cast, as well as the cast of the current killing game. Genuinely, I am just… blown away.

She is also the character which we have the strongest connection to the current killing game/a character from the current killing game, that being Min. Min mentions in her bonus episode that an organization called XF-Ture Tech were the ones to sponsor her for the test to become the Ultimate Student. On XF’s coat is an XF-Ture Logo. As well as this, they have the exact same tie clip that Min has.

PLUS, on top of this, he has the same purple/pink eyes that Min has. That last detail almost made me think they were related, but I don’t necessarily believe so. I mean, they might be, but I’m more inclined to believe that XF is just affiliated with/the leader of XF-Ture. There are A LOT of theories for her (along with a lot of simping ahem), but I won’t be mentioning all of them.

If they are the founder of XF-Ture Tech, I imagine their talent would be something like Ultimate Founder, Ultimate Inventor, Ultimate CEO, or something in that vein. He may not be the founder, however, and instead may just work for XF-Ture Tech. I’m not entirely sure, but I am inclined to believe that she is the founder because of the pink eyes. I have a theory that Min actually wears contacts, and that’s why her eyes look the same as XF’s. I may be totally wrong about this, and I thought that DRDTDev already said they weren’t, but I looked through the QnAs and I couldn’t find anything saying that. Unless it is confirmed somewhere, or it gets confirmed, that’s my theory for now!

As well as this, in the chapter 2 part 1 QnA, DRDTDev mentions that Min’s least favorite color(s) are pink and white together, because it’s “annoying”. Since that is a part of XF’s color palette, that draws an obvious connection between the two of them. If Min has had a lot of interaction with XF, and perceives them as annoying, this could be the reason for that connection. It definitely furthers the theory that Min and XF are connected. I’m pretty sure I barely scratched the surface in terms of what has been theorized about them, so I recommend you check out @accirax @googledetective and the posts they made, as well as any of the posts that are bound to be made by the rest of the DRDT theorists.

—

Him!!!!!!!

For all of you who don’t know, this character uses he/him pronouns and I absolutely love him for that :,) I am truly just… flabbergasted at how amazing DRDTDev continues to be in adding representation to their stories, and not only that, but doing such a good job of it.

Anyways! I will be calling him Dandelion after the dandelion in his hair.

As far as what we can deduce based on his outfit and demeanor: obviously this is a character who messes around with gender presentation (we stan) and doesn’t fall into the rigid categories that many cultures try to enforce. He also looks somewhat naive, and young (though all of these characters are ~18, of course). I also definitely don’t think his talent is something physically demanding, since he seems pretty skinny, and his clothes don’t look like they would be good for running around in.

However, this character has a few things that might key us in to what his talent might be. The first of which is his clothing, since my first thought on seeing it was that it looked trendy, or like something an influencer would wear. In a way that kind of juxtaposes their outfit, however, he has a dandelion in his hair, through the band keeping it up. It is very different from the rest of his color palette, and dandelions are usually considered ‘weeds’, which makes me think that Dandelion’s talent is instead something plant-based.

Since that dandelion is just so different from the rest of his outfit, I believe the latter is true, and that his talent is something like the Ultimate Botanist.

In terms of characters he might be connected to, my first thought was Levi. They both are fashionable, and if my previous thought of Bunny being an influencer or something of the like, it makes sense for Levi to know them somehow. Still, it’s a shaky theory.

—

I love asymmetrical designs, and the green/blue hair strand balances out his hair really well. I do also really like the strap on his leg, it gives him a slightly edgier look. I will be calling him “Scale” for convenience (I had names for each of these characters before someone came up with better ones, but @pastelclownkitty and I actually had the same idea for this guy!).

So, firsts things first: I do not think he is Elliot Cuevas. I saw this theory, considered it, and have come to the conclusion it doesn’t make sense (at least to me. if this is one of your theories that’s totally fine!). Elliot is described, by DRDTDev in the chapter 2 part 1 QnA, as having looked “shockingly similar” to how Charles looks now. I think the comparison is vague at best, not shocking. They do both have purple hair and dark skin, but both shades of those things are darker for Scale.

In terms of talent, the pattern of his shirt has been pointed out, and I agree that it probably relates to his talent. In fact, Scale somewhat reminds me of an anglerfish, with that bright green in his eyes and that strand of hair. I don’t know, I think I’m just saying things at this point.

Due to the mentioned factors above, I believe his talent is related to fishing or swimming, something like the Ultimate Angler. I can’t discern his build from under his clothing, but he looks a little skinny to be the Ultimate Swimming Pro or anything like that.

Ok. I’m sorry, but he looks a little… Fishy (don’t mind the pun). Maybe it’s how calm he is, or his mouth, but he reminds me of Rantaro somewhat. I love his design, though, and I think his color palette is supremely cool. I also like how his hair highlight is very faintly rainbow. It reminds me of how when you look at water a certain way, it shows a rainbow.

—

Our protag!! Or, well, Teacher.

Now, I’m pretty sure almost everyone agrees that this character is the Ultimate Teacher, or something of the like. He also has an ID card which says:

This ID card is the property of Hope’s Peak Academy. Use of this ID card by any person other than the rightful holder is prohibited. Report lost or stolen ID cards by contacted 555-483-7367.

(Thank you to @weightedblankettt for the blurry text translation!)

Now, numbers starting with 555 are used for fictional phone numbers, specifically in North America, which is how we’re able to tell that this killing game’s participants probably come from the same Hope’s Peak that the participants of the current killing game are from. Other than that, it doesn’t really tell us much, other than our Protag has an ID card for Hope’s Peak. This leads us to believe that he may be staff, however DRDTDev confirms that these are 11 students.

One thing, though, that I think may be something…

What if Teacher is, instead of just a student, a student teacher? Basically, what if he is someone who comes in to help the actual teachers with the class load and such, but isn’t a classmate of the rest of the Ultimates. Either that, or he’s just a student who carries around his ID card from a lanyard. Like a weirdo (/j).

Now: The Mai thing. Many people think that Teacher may be a relative of Mai, or connected to her in some way, due to the red in his hair, on his shoes, and on the inside of his coat. However, the red used with his colors is very different from Mai’s red. Another theory to why he might be related to Mai is because his eyes are always closed in all the art we’ve seen of him, so maybe he’s related to one of the cast and DRDTDev is keeping his eyes closed to not spoil who. I do believe this part, just not with Mai.

Okay well, here my theory goes:

Teacher is the older brother of Teruko. Teruko mentions in chapter 1 episode 4 that she has an older brother, but they were separated when she was 5. She likely doesn’t remember much about him at all (and I suspect that he was the one who Teruko says she “couldn’t remember the face” of as well). Although they don’t have the same hair color, they do have a very similar skin color, and the closed-eye thing could be just as true with Teruko as with Mai. As well as this, most characters in all of DRDT have a gradient on their eyelashes. 3 characters who don’t? Mai, Teruko, and now Teacher.

Imma be honest, it’s a bit of a crack theory, but I kinda like it, and think it’s interesting. I’m pretty sure I’m going to be the only one to believe this haha

Oh wait! I almost forgot! The whole thing on him being the “Teacher” referenced in secret text. I don’t have much to say on that except that yeah, that’s probably true. Maybe. Who knows.

—

Sigh, I love men.

I’ll be calling this dude Mint, which I know is separate from the names that @xmicrophonyx came up with, but… I think it’s cute, so. First off, his design is great, yada yada, and I love his little cropped jacket. Very cute.

I definitely think his design is pretty sporty, especially with the layers of the undershirt, over shirt, and jacket, along with the coat around his waist. My first thought for him is that he does some kind of racing, either with cars or motorcycles, because that’s what his jacket reminds me of. Race car drivers do wear gloves, so this would make sense for that. I imagine this isn’t his actual racing clothes, instead just casual clothes, but there are still elements of his racing clothes in there. Along with this, it makes sense that he’d have his hair tied back so then he could fit it under his helmet and it wouldn’t get in his face too much (although I suspect his ponytail is too high to fit under a helmet. Oh well, he might wear it lower on race days).

His personality seems like it would fit that sort of thing as well, since he looks serious and somewhat aggressive. He also has those little marks under his eyes. I’m not entirely sure what they’re for, but I’m sure I could connect it back somehow if I wasn’t working on this post for like 3 hours and had any energy whatsoever to do research into it (I just got home from a very long car ride, so keep in mind I am still somewhat delirious). Idk. Maybe he just wanted to look pretty/intimidating/whatever so he put markings under his eyes.

—

A Child?!? Well, no, probably not, but she does look very, very young. Perhaps it’s the fact she’s right next to Teacher, who I’m pretty sure is the tallest out of the cast? Maybe it’s also the fact that the color that dominates her design is pink, and her complimentary color is baby blue.

So, her design is pretty clearly inspired by sheep/rams, since her pupil is the same shape as them, her braids are coiled up similarly to ram horns, and the bottom of her coat/dress looks like sheep wool. The bell on her bow also looks like the pupil of a sheep, too. I actually had a phase of drawing people with that type of pupil, too, because I thought it looked so interesting and unique. I still think characters with those kind of eyes are pretty cool.

Since her design looks so much like a sheep/ram, you would think that was involved in her talent, however in her eye you can see a little needle. That makes me think she’s a tailor or seamstress or something like that. Perhaps, since wool is a big material used for fabric, she cares for sheep and then makes fabric out of their wool, or something in that vein.

She seems pretty peppy and happy, so I assume she would take on an Eden-esque role in this killing game (Though, I assume, she is actually far different, and likely more naive than Eden is).

—

Our girl Fire! She is hot, amiright? (Cue the applause). I don’t know what came over me, with that pun. Maybe the spirit of Whit or something.

But no, seriously, she is certainly a… very attractive woman. The snakebite piercings, eyebrow piercings, nose piercings, and bellybutton piercing? Oh my. A win for the girlkissers. A win indeed.

She certainly gives aggressive energy, like she would fight you (and win, obviously. It wouldn’t even be a competition). She looks like she could take Xander. Also!! I really like her teeth, because one of my teeth stick out like that too. I’m pretty sure it’s the one in the exact same spot as her, just mirrored. I’ve always kind of liked it.

Now, her outfit is definitely very sporty, though I’m unsure of which sport exactly. Her abs and chunky gloves give the vibe of something like a boxer or weightlifter, but she also has chaps on. I’m truly unsure if the chaps are just decorative or if she actually does ride horses (I want to say they’re just decorative because white chaps? Not a good idea. No white clothes are really a good idea when you ride horses a lot. Especially if the horses are unruly lol). Plus, she has a lot of skin exposed, and I can say from experience that flies and bugs are a bitch, and there are a lot when horses are involved.

I also just wanted to point out that Fire and Ice (her brother, who I’ll be talking about next) have eyes that are half brown and half grey, and they each have a color palette of either brown or grey and another color (the extra colors are also complimentary). I personally believe this is because the siblings/twins are very different, and likely don’t get along too well, but that’s just a theory. A DRDT theory. I’m mentally unwell, I think.

[mecachrome]

loll thank u for confirming it to me re:kpoppie fan past!!! i think i remember it was you (?) who said aomething about landoscar coworkerisms and i was like EXACTLY! this is what makes them interesting to me. i get people who don’t really like 814 bc on the surface they are just teammates who have content together thus easier to ship but at the same time, that’s the beauty in them isn’t it <33 and lando’s comment about being contractually obligated to hang out together was Romance to me actually bc >coworkership.

alsooo once again i would just like 2 say i love your metas/analysis cause i think yours is such a fun pov to read from!! not sure if this is bcs of our commonality in fandom history but it’s truly like, a different perspective than if you were like on the 1d > f1 rpf pipeline or just a general sports rpf background. i’m not sure what makes kpop so unique in this ejduksdj maybe perhaps bcs we spend so much time dissecting idolsona and manufactured content or whatever 🙂 anyways! love your work and your gifs 💘💘💘 u are a godsend for the fandom!!

yesss anon coworkershipping is literally so important and real 2 me!!! ofc people are entitled to their own opinions and preferences and i will never force my silly little ships onto anyone but admittedly i am 100% the type of guy who thinks that sometimes Things that aren't romance are romance and sometimes Things that aren't sex are sex. so that's a me problem HKLSDFH

i think the ability to be self-aware about your coworkerisms and find humor in it or even show fondness for it is really sweet... like to me it's meaningful that oscar followed lando's career for so long and clearly rates him and just sincerely objectively LOVES being his teammate and is satisfied with that alone because again "i'll have you in whichever way you'll have me" is lesbianism to some. it's also interesting when they're regarded as a pr bait ship especially considering how much mclaren like... Don't bait them to us that much anymore and how simple and stripped bare the content they post nowadays is? i think there's just a general conflation of [shares hobbies off-track] + [likes each other as people] in that regard...

fandom history is definitely so interesting, i've been in 132402382834 fandoms so i reflect on this a lot !!! i got into hockey like 10 years ago so i think just wrt like, the sporting aspect of f1 then i view it through that lens primarily (and hockey is a sport that's a lot just like... less Sympathetic to individual athletes because it's very explicitly about systems which i think is why i'm less like. parasocially invested in flop careers halsdfh), but when it comes to the celebrity consumption and sheer global influence of f1 then there are genuinely a lot of parallels to k-pop, which adds an interesting dimension. the thing about many other sports/esports/etc. fandoms is that not all of them have the same tenuous 4th wall + measure of exclusivity that f1's genz marketability propels itself off, which i think is where this accusation of 1d/k-popification comes from because it's a less familiar space in quite a few sports. but there's a lot of nuance there of course...

so random but i actually had this discussion with someone earlier where i was like my "type" in k-pop is always pathetic gayboys with horrible personalities alsfdkhalksdfh but in sports i like really adjusted normie boring straightguys (my 2 favorite hockey players are also very much Polite Cats who have cute nicknames hehe :3c) so it's interesting how despite certain fandom similarities there are many cultural nuances that influence our investment.

also idk if you're familiar with bbb but i thought i'd share the hockey version my friend made of it :') it's all quite interesting to me because hockey is like, MUCH more accessible as a fandom product just because of how many players major sports leagues have and the fact that it's not as successful in north america as any other league save mls (lol) (actually idk if this is still true with messi we might fr be flops now), so you can spend $20 to go to a game in some markets and see your favorite player up close during warmups whereas that... is not possible in f1. there's just a lot of considerations for how personas are built up & managed and the space f1 occupies in that analysis !!!!!!!! but i don't want to talk your ear off too much aklsdfhldfh thank you so much for your kind words! 🥺💕

[ultrvmonogamy]

can't say i'm feeling social at this point, but i want to reiterate that i invite anyone who's got any misgivings or confusion towards anything i've said or done or allegedly said or done (or has any other meaningful reason) to come talk to me in good faith, particularly if u've been on the receiving end of surreptitiously delivered rumors.

since the inception of this blog around a year ago, i have always maintained that i am here striving to be as authentic as reasonably possible. i have repeatedly asserted that this journey (blogging here this way) is for me abt learning to integrate potentially problematic aspects of my self (born of both trauma imposed upon me AND my own past poor decisions/self-destructive tendencies) into a more positive whole.

if ur unfollowing me or judging me bc ppl r covertly talking shit, but u r not willing to bring ur concerns to me--the guy in question who is actually inviting dialogue without any of the skeezy subterfuge--i have to wonder what side u think ur on and what it is that u think ur serving in that.

i'd imagine some of u (probably not reading this) simply want to distance ur brand from any of that kinda noise, which aligns w the fact that by far most who have unfollowed (or simply not re-followed) have not blocked me n many continue to like or even reblog my posts. i get that. i still think it sucks, n i miss some of u nonetheless. if that's ur need for ur livelihood tho, i can't blame u for that. even so, i'm here if u'd care to talk.

maybe u think u know smth that's all u need to know. i highly doubt that, but if u'd prefer to wear blinders on that front i just hope u'll remember i was here offering to set the record straight n address any questions u might have one on one.

maybe ur influenced by a quite popular blogger who is now well into her 7th month of stalking, harassing, n slandering me. 7 fucking months(!) of publicly urging ppl not to reblog me, mischaracterizing me in direct opposition to my behavior, making claims that r the literal opposite of the facts, and even announcing n mocking my personal sexual business. oh, and celebrating any time one of my blogs gets termed or seems to be getting less activity.

r u wondering what i must've done to this poor girl to incite such retaliation? well, i did not fall in love w a parasocially obsessed anon and instead, once it was clear that we were not compatible (which was soon after we talked w her off anon), i told her directly that i do not want or expect anything from her n that she'd already given me too much. i even dissuaded her from sending me nudes. and, yes, i have receipts for all of that. in fact, one of the reasons i'm writing this message now is to sidestep my urge to publish that evidence (10-15 screenshots, audio, conversation exports etc) n demolish the reputation of a sentient being who is already clearly unhinged n has shown herself to be ill-equipped to handle reality.

anyway, fuck all that noise.

i'm here (and if i'm not here i'll be elsewhere) and continuing to strive to be a more authentic, worthwhile, understanding, reliable, compassionate, n generally together human being w each day. striving, i said. i fuck up a lot (maybe u don't, in which case i'm envious), but i'm pretty fucking pleased w the overall trend. doesn't mean u should be, n that's fine, but this is the best i have to offer. can't be good enough for everyone, n maybe if u were me u'd do it all differently. good thing u've got a u to do that w then n don't actually have to focus on me.

i have never claimed to be anything close to perfect, and i have personally n without external pressure volunteered plenty of my own shortcomings. i have routinely exposed no dearth of my own problematic characteristics in post after post. if u r someone who feels the need to invent more or to spin half truths bc u find some kind of satisfaction in vilifying n isolating me, that says a hell of a lot more abt u than it does abt me. and for whatever my opinion is worth to u behind ur facade, i think it makes u exactly the kind of person that many or most of us in this community r here trying to heal from.

thank u for reading, and i hope everyone's week is going better than mine 🫶

(replies may be delayed. got a life to lead n mouths to feed n shelter to provide etc)

[personthattoleratesme]

So, you want to study new phannies?

well, same, i don't know what happened to me either but let me try to explain, you might find it amusing

you see, I'm 19 now, so back when they first were active i wasn't enough chronically online to be obsessed with any internet personality. (for reference, i was five when dan posted his first video.)

then covid and lockdowns happened and through some twists and turns i was catapulted deep into the 1D fandom, more specifically the larry portion of it. it was incredibly toxic and unhealthy, but it was also so much fun and taught me a lot about fandom and shipping culture. i eventually moved on into much healthier fandom spaces and honestly thought (and hoped) i was over being a fan of Real Living Human Beings.

now, i had obviously heard of dan and phil before but never watched any of their videos. so when they announced the return of dapg and everyone here freaked out about it i thought, eh, might as well take a look.

i don't know what it was about them, their dynamic, the casual happy queerness, the way they love and care for each other, their little stupid quirks, dan's way with words, but it pulled me in so damn quickly. so far i have no regrets, watching them is so nice and comforting.

however it also felt so intoxicatingly familiar to when i first got into larry, which scared me at first because i did not want to go back to anything like that time of my life. by now i have realised that this is different. it feels like a better version of whatever i had going on back then, because this time there is no need for wild speculations and intrusive theorising. them being themselves and sharing what they want to share is more than enough. maybe it's just hopeful thinking but i feel like it is actually possible to have a healthy parasocial relationship with them.

i might have missed it just a teeny tiny bit.

also!!! i feel like i picked the exact right time for this new obsession because there's so much going on, it's so fun and i amm excited for the future!

dunno if the tumblr phandom is the right place for me, right now i am pretty content with just lurking and watching you guys do your thing

with love,

a new phannie

first of all i want to say welcome new phannie! i hope you enjoy and benefit from the enrichment of our little corner of the internet.

i really enjoyed reading your story. as soon as i read larry i had a visceral full-body reaction ngl, i'm so sorry you went through that.

you have really chosen an excellent time to become a phannie. the toxicity is mostly out of the fandom, dnp are in control of the narrative now, and we don't have to deal with all the phan proof shit anymore.

it gives me so much joy that nowadays their queer happiness can be a factor in becoming a fan of theirs. there's just something so special about how after everything they've been through - and everything we've been through as phandom - that there is now this wonderfully queer and happy space that can feel safe and inviting for young queer people.

i really hope that this parasocial relationship with them will turn out to be what you're looking for. when i was a teenager they helped me through so much, and now that we're all older and have been able to grow as people i think we genuinely have a very good and healthy parasocial relationship with them as a fandom.

thank you so much for your sharing your story, i genuinely find it so fascinating to learn about 2023 phannies.

you're totally welcome to lurk here for as long as you want. i was a lurker for a long time cause phannie tumblr kind of scared me. i used to only exist in the anon asks of other users and feel free to do the same.

now i want to know: what was your first dnp video?

[letterstopedrito]

#14

Hi Pedro,

I know I literally just talked about how weird parasocial relationships are, so this letter is gonna be ironic.

I romanticize the fuck out of the idea of being of with you.

We could dance in your kitchen to Etta James and Fleetwood Mac and ABBA.

I'd cook for you because I love to cook. Food is one of the ways I show my love to people. I'd learn to make your favorite Chilean dishes, begging you to be honest with me if they weren't quite right.

I'd go pick up our Starbucks orders (your iced espresso abomination and my iced dirty chai latte + vanilla).

I'd run lines with you and you would out right laugh at my horrible acting skills.

I could come with you to Calgary while you're filming TLOU, if you wanted me to. I have a work from home job that I'd keep (even though you would make more from one episode of your show than I'll make in 5 years) So it would be easy for me to come along.

We'd curl up together on the couch, wine in hand, to watch The Shining or Evil Dead or Rambo: First Blood. I grew up on those movies and they mean the world to me. You love them as much as I do.

I'd travel with you to Italy or France between projects and we'd eat incredible food and go to museums and make love in picturesque hotels.

We'd talk each other's ears off about the last book we each read. Describing how this or that quote hit us bone deep and why. Describing the way the author chose to portray a certain scene and why it was the right or wrong choice.

We'd talk about Toni Morrison and James Baldwin and Audre Lorde. I'd introduce you to my favorite fantasy novels and you'd introduce me to your favorite books too.

You'd read Pablo Neruda to me in Spanish, since I only know him in English. That translation from Romeo and Juliet would melt me every single time. The way your voice would rumble deep in your chest as you recite the lines.

I'd learn Spanish for you, and for me. I would want to be able to talk to you and your whole family in your own language.

We would sing along to our favorite songs in the car, loudly and poorly. Prince, Lana Del Rey, Taylor Swift, The Police, ABBA, The Mamas and The Papas, whatever we felt like that day.

I'd tease you about the heart in your patchy beard, and you'd tease me about how grumpy I am in the morning.

I'd run my fingers through your gorgeous curls while you laid in my lap, telling me about your day.

I'd massage your back at night before bed, knowing how hard the full day on your feet is hitting you.

We would have a couple dogs who love to cuddle as much as we do.

We would never have screaming, angry fights. If we hurt each other, we would talk about it, work it out. And then you'd wrap me up in your arms, pulling me against your broad chest, and kiss my forehead softly.

We would talk about politics, rarely if ever arguing about it, just discussing why we're both so angry about the state of the world right now and what we could do to help fix it.

I've never desired to be famous, at least not in a way where people recognize me on the street. So it would be scary, being with you, but you would make me feel safe and protected.

----

I know I'm being ridiculous. I literally don't know you. I have no idea if you'd do any of that with a partner. I have no idea if you'd like me as a person or a friend, much less as a girlfriend. I have no idea if I'd like you. The idea of you is really comforting to me, though. The times when I'm imaging this relationship with you are when I get hit with a powerful sense that I'm not where I'm supposed to be.

When I'm driving down the road, blasting music, no one in my passenger seat, no one singing along with me. When I'm lying in bed at night, staring at the ceiling, listening to my husband sleep beside me, 2 full feet of mattress between us. When my girlfriend locks me out of her room, refusing to respond to my pleas to just talk to me. When it hits me that neither of my partners have touched me in weeks, sometimes months, and I'm desperate for real affection -- beyond a chaste kiss or a lingering hug. When I'm watching a movie and my partners are chatting away on one end of the sofa, my girlfriend watching tik tok, and I can't hear the fucking movie over them. When I suggest going on a trip and my husband says he can't take off work and my girlfriend can't afford it.

God I feel trapped. I wonder, sometimes, if being poly isn't actually right for me. I'm fully capable of loving two people at the same time, but I'm having trouble sharing. The funny thing is that I don't want to take my husband back from our partner or run away with her myself. I want them to leave me. They seem better suited for each other than I am for either of them. I'm so stupid for getting married at 22. I don't know what fucking possessed me to do that.

I'm coming to terms with the fact that I deluded myself into thinking I could be happy with someone who doesn't doesn't feel love in a passionate way. I let him convince me that adults don't love each other like the love poems say they do. That passion and lust are for teenagers. I know it's not supposed to be all desperate passion all the time, but just once I want this man to look at me like I'm beautiful. To make me feel like he wants me and not like he's fulfilling an obligation every time he touches me. I want him to express some level of lust for me beyond saying "titties!" when he sees me topless. And I'm pretty sure my girlfriend isn't even remotely attracted to me, though I'd never get her to admit it.

I think you, dear Pedro, have an inherent sexiness and charm to you that makes me think you'd give me what I've been yearning for. You'd walk up behind me while I'm cooking and kiss my cheek, wrapping your arms around my waist and pulling me against you. You wouldn't push me away when I kiss your neck, whe. I run my hands down your chest, your stomach, further... You would sit next to me on the couch and pull me close to you, instead of going to the other end by yourself. The you in my head is remarkably similar to the husband I have now, actually, except that you want me. You show me you want me. I know you're nearly 48 years old, so I'm probably completely fucking wrong. In all likelihood, you're probably well past the years of waking up and seeking out your partner first thing in the morning with soft kisses and teasing hands and a burning need. But it's fun to imagine and it's getting me through the goddamn day at this point, so... yeah.

Thank you, imaginary Pedro, for being the partner of my daydreams,

G.

[mcdonaldsnumberone]

나야 나!

produce 101/idol au hcs

these r really rudimentary thoughts so . do what u will with them

rin does Not give a fuck about fanservice. he’s the type of edgy contestant that stares at the camera and goes “watch me,” and his fans eat that shit up.

producers will be BEGGING this boy to smile and do some finger hearts at the camera, and he grimaces instead saying smth like “why do i need cheap tricks to show my skill as an entertainer?” MF UR ON AN IDOL SURVIVAL SHOW

otoya, on the other hand, lives to suck up to his fans. always stops in the middle of going from place to place to sign people’s banners, phones, fans, etc… it takes him forever to get from one place to another because of that

he also strikes me as the kind of guy who has all the tea abt everyone in the idol industry?? if u ever upset him, you better pray that otoya doesn’t call up blue lock’s version of dispatch the moment he gets a second alone. bllk! dispatch wld be out of business if it wasnt for him feeding them crumbs of idol drama 💀

bachira is the idol that’s constantly spamming social media. it’ll be 3 am in the morning, and everyone’s notifications are going ham because he’s posting shit like “my guts are baja blasting 🤪🤪🤪” while going through his post-taco bell poop.

at the same time though, he’s probably the one that’s the most “genuine” on camera? he does whatever he wants, so he doesn’t feel a need to fake a parasocial relationship with fans or craft a work persona. this is both a managerial nightmare and a dream-come-true, but we fuck w it here

i also think bachira wld be a dancer btw

nagi livestreams all his gaming sessions. sometimes he’ll set up an among us room to play with his fans (cough nct taeyong cough). he falls asleep all the time whenever he isn’t actively performing, so fans will sometimes play “where’s waldo” with nagi whenever another member is filming stuff backstage.

he’s also RIPPED so like people will sometimes ask him to show his abs and he’ll be like :X before yanking his shirt up. he doesn’t get why people ogle over him, but hey, it gets his bills paid so who is he to complain

karasu’s a rapper. i think the visual of him leaning back in his studio while working on songs is sooooooo hot. bonus points if we get pictures of his hands n stuff

ok i Know rin technically is the first place and leader of bllk eleven, but for some reason, karasu gives me leader vibes? he’s trying to round all the boys up while they’re doing dumb shit and hes standing there like 🧍 mamas i do not get paid enough for this

hiori joins nagi in on gaming. he livestreamed him dying his hair once. it was just him, god, and his truckload of fans in a cramped ass bathroom while he wrapped his head in foil and sat on top of the toilet.

he’s also the one that gets the brightass neon hair each comeback. u know the song’s abt to slap when hiori shows up looking like the froot loops mascot 🗿

chigiri’s sister won’t quit airing out chigiri’s dirty laundry, and it drives him insane. it also drives him crazy when people thirst after his sister. also i think his fancams wld go the most viral just bc he’s very pretty, and i think he’d be fairly reasonable with fanservice

although he does get pretty snappy sometimes, so it’s a delicate balance finding what he’s in the mood for. the hair stylists love dressing him up since he’s one of the less fussy members (thanks to how much his sister used to dress him up when he was younger)

one out of the two visuals of the group (the other being aryu)

aryu practices english with his fans! he’ll attempt interviews, posts, and livestreams entirely in english to learn, and he’ll do his best to correct his mistakes :) everyone’s very supportive of him, even when he’s rambling about his latest hair styling tips in broken english and bits of japanese

also because he’s so fucking tall, he solos everyone whenever those idol sports competitions come around. his long limbs are lethal, and people will thirstpost about him violently. he’s also very fashion-forward, so he collaborates often with the styling team about the group’s concepts and outfits!

ISAGI’S THE MEOWMEOW OF THE GROUP!! he’s trying his hardest and always delivers. he’s also down horrendous for whatever noel noa is as an idol, and he’s practically begging for a collaboration every other tweet. poor boy nearly shits his pants whenever he sees noa at an awards shows or other big events

i’d also love to see him star as an mc on music shows?? he gives off the perfect zealous yet cutesy vibes to pull that off. he’s the perfect level of awkward to be endearing, and he’s always invited back because of how polite and hardworking he is :] he also def has a lot of gap moe between his self as an absolutely fucking feral performer who rips up the stage versus him being Just A Dude offstage

reo was a trainee w nagi! he practices by doing covers of other idols’ works (im trying rlly hard to incorporate his chameleon thing into the idolverse ok), and he’s really touched when trainees do covers of his songs and dances too! it shows him how far he’s come :]

he ties his hair up a lot, so fans beg him constantly to put it down! id like to think nagi once caught him on a livestream fresh out of a shower w nothing but a towel around his waist, and people went fucking NUTS over 1) seeing reo half naked all drenched w water and 2) finally seeing him without his little bun

reo is also a dancer in my heart (i am never wrong btw <3)

omg cld u imagine all the cute names u cld give to barou’s fans? the king and his loyal kingdom :] people also wld kill to see his hair down and ungelled, but he doesn’t like it bc it feels unruly so there’s some beef between his management and him over that

he got wrestled into a maid outfit once, but people loved it so much it became a key moment for the group. he doesnt mind it as much as people thought he would, but definitely wld prefer to dress up in other costumes for once. barou’s also an extremely talented performer, often shining the most when he gets solo performances over group collaborative ones.

niko is literally junji from onlyoneof 🧍he also strikes me as the kind of guy to rock eboy fashion? he absolutely eats up any dark concepts!! he kinda detests cute concepts, but unlike rin (who’ll throw hands w his management), niko kinda learns to grin and bear it

niko also composes his own songs! he’s a very self-made idol, and he’ll treat his fans to a snippet of his latest project every now and then (this is me trying to incorporate his special skills but idol version pt 2)! he’ll lock himself in his room for days on end during off seasons to compose, only coming out to use the bathroom and eat at ungodly hours. other members sometimes drop by to bring him snacks and water

gagamaru’s a lil . unhinged to say the least . he does mukbang streams every once in a while, and it gives his management a stroke when it goes viral because he ate everything using his hands. he’s getting good at using utensils regularly, but hey, if his fans wanna see him stuffing his face in the way that makes him happiest, then who is he to upset them?

gagamaru also solos everything on idol sports shows. whenever he’s on one of those wilderness survival shows, he comes back out looking just the same as he did going in, if not better. he’s also so flexible that it drives every dancer in the industry green with jealous that they can’t control their body like he does. he’s still very sweet and humble though, so no one can really hate him since he’s just a big hunky goofball that does what he wants :]

YUKIMIYA KPOPS GEM YUKIMIYA KPOPS IT BOY YUKIMIYA OUTSOLD YOUR FAVES

ok fr tho yukimiya still keeps up with his modeling on the side (kinda hc to be a model-turned-idol), so he sneaks in a lot of his sponsors’ clothes into his idol outfits! those kpop fashion accounts are always scrambling to identify the clothes he’s wearing

he also has one hell of a gap between performing and being off stage, and he’s so goddamn charismatic that it feels like he’s a completely different person when he’s on stage. like he’ll be all smiley and sweet, and then he’ll go fucking feral just like isagi that it’s hard to believe he’s normally a soft-spoken gentleman whenever the cameras aren’t on him.

ok now that ive talked abt the bllk eleven, extra hcs of idol au bllk that werent part of the main team

aiku gets into so many dating scandals that they dont even feel like a scandal anymore. everyone wakes up and is like “oh this is who he was fucking w this time” and moves on. good for him ig? at least he’s free on that end

sendou gets nervous talking to girl groups. he’s also really generous w fanservice and does gravure photoshoot bc he knows what its like to be a fan of them. good for him good for him!! go feed ur fans!!

sae def placed first on a previous season of bllk produce 101, which got rin inspired to become an idol. imagine the tension at awards shows OOF 💀 or the questions people post abt the brothers potentially collaborating for a comeback. sae also hates fanservice, but he goes out of his way to shut that shit down

kaiser is kpop’s ace!! there is nothing this bitch can’t do! he also refuses to cover up his tattoo and shows it off whenever he gets the chance. talks about wanting to get more in the future, but his management’s successfully keeping him restrained… for now.

ness wld be disturbingly good at cute concepts… it’s crazy how easily he can get people to fall for him with his easygoing charm, but the second people start talking smack abt smth he likes, he turns murderous. it’s always the adorable ones you need to watch out for. sometimes fans admit to liking him more than kaiser which usually throws him for a loop.

speaking of concepts, shidou devours dark concepts too! i feel like he’d make one hell of a vocalist, and he’s constantly hounding sae for a collab together. even his regular clothes are striking enough to be confused for a stage outfit, and he takes a lot of pride in keeping up his demonic aura (even though he lives for the thrill of performing more than anything else)

kunigami gives off such husband material vibes. baby gets invited to shows where he babysits kids, cares for pets, etc and everyone just ends up falling more in love with him. he’s so respectful about turning people down too like goddamn how is this boy real

nanase is 100% the maknae of the group. bonus points if he originally came from a nugu group that rose to a fair amt of popularity, and now he’s starstruck that he gets to interact w idols that he looked up to for so long

ego def used to be an idol before retiring and becoming a manager/head honcho behind blue lock’s produce 101. he hates the artificiality of idols and pushes the boys to become their own version of what they expect an idol to be like. hes also insane in this au too

anri is one of the biggest managers of the produce project! she’s the one behind the scenes, setting everything up! the boys are extremely grateful towards her, and she even has her own dedicated fanbase!

tokimitsu has bad stage fright, and his fans do their best to support him! they encourage him to do what makes him comfortable, and he promises to work hard to not let them down. he has one of (if not, the) strongest bond with his fans, and their interactions are super wholesome.

buratsuta is like jyp. hope this makes sense <3

check out this sick edit of bllk produce btw

[ivyblossom]

Creators, Fans, and Shame (mine)

This is not going to be a useful exploration that adds any value to fandom. This is just my personal fannish agony, documented in the hopes that I can leave it behind somehow.

I'm struggling to cope with the fact of a showrunner who actually seems to be pro-fan. I love it, it's amazing, I'm so grateful, it makes me happy, but then it also scares me. Can any showrunner start out pro-fan, and stay pro-fan?

Which, as I say it, sounds ridiculous. Surely people who create media like their fans. But we know the truth of it: creators have hated fans like us forever. We are used to being hated. We are used to be belittled and mocked. There's a part of my psyche that is just pure shielding at this point because I'm so used to it that I've gotten pretty good at blocking stuff out.

You know what stuff: I think I still have a copy of a cease & desist letter from a creator's laywers addressed to a fan for deigning to make fanfiction available on the internet: that's the kind of reaction I'm familiar with and used to. (It wasn't addressed to me, it was to someone I knew, but weren't we all making fanfiction available? Wasn't it sort of directed at all of us?) And all the laughing interviews, the jokes, the dismissal, being framed as stupid, vapid teen girls (why must everyone hate teen girls? I ask you) actors reading fanfiction in front of an audience for gross, humiliating laughs (my heart goes out to the fan writer that happened to: I cannot imagine, I just cannot), the discomfort with our existence, the dismay that we have voices and react to things, the outrage. We get embarrassed by it. We police each other to try and prevent it (I am guilty of this, and I'm sorry).

We have often been fans in spite of creators who behave this way towards us. The communities we build around a shared language and the stories we tell becomes more important to us than the original content. Fanwork is often criticism: a repair job, a rescue, a different, better narrative choice, or character choice. Does this kind of negative creator reaction to fandom make negatively-inspired fanwork more likely? I don't know.

It's tough when you admire creators so much and they turn around and sneer at you and laugh at you. It feels very personal and humiliating. Don't meet your heroes, etc. etc. right? I feel very weird about all this, because these creators that I admire so much, they don't know me, they're not aware of me at all. For good or for ill, it's not about me, really. We become a mass, a collective noun. But still, it is, on some level, also about me. It is personal.

I don't know what to do with any of this. the humiliation of getting scolded by a showrunner you admire, or even the delight of their joy in fandom when it comes, honestly. Parasocial relationships are a trip. I am very embarrassed about them. When I see any of my heroes in real life I am immediately so embarrassed by my own anonymous excitement that I can only pretend that I don't know who they are. My own one-sided admiration overwhelms me. And embarrasses me. That's a me thing.

Fundamentally I'm struggling now because I've believed in creators before and been let down by them. I've believed that they understood us and wouldn't lash out and hurt us in these specific ways. And I've been very wrong.

And you know, I don't even mean the queerbaiting, honestly. I mean being framed by people we deeply admire as silly, gross, dumb idiots who got it all horribly, self-indulgently wrong, you dumbasses. That really hurts in a way that sticks.

I have my own way of dealing with the queerbaiting thing, but maybe that's also just my shielding. Maybe I've created a way to process it to make it okay because of how common it's been through my whole life, and how much I want to be able to love certain swaths of media, I don't know.

But I don't need a story to do certain things in order to love it, or for it to be queer enough for me, or whatever. My struggle is with how creators talk about fans rationally reading stories as queer. David Jenkins called it gaslighting, and I think he's 100% correct. To dismiss and deny that the reading is there and reasonable at all is hurtful in a way that I find hard to describe. Gaslighting is the right word for it, because it's an abuse tactic. And that's how it feels.

And now I'm going to get into this: I want to talk about Sherlock. (Oh god, really? Yes. Yes, I'm going to talk about it, hopefully just this once, and then let it go.)

When I first saw Sherlock S1 when it aired, I thought it was wonderfully slashy in a self-aware way, and given that it's kind of a prequel, "how Sherlock Holmes becomes Sherlock Holmes," and how they were already framing the relationship, I figured that the story would give in to the romance on some level, though I figured it probably wouldn't be in an on-the-nose way. I imagined it would be romantically ambiguous to the end, and to be honest, after 4 series, I will still argue that that's exactly what it ended up being.

I remain perfectly confident in the argument that Sherlock is very much a story about two men who fall desperately in love with each other, but have so much personal baggage that they can't do anything with the truth of that love other than wrestle with it, know that it's true and real, and have to find a way to live with the sheer impossibility of it.

Conceptually, I like that story, even if it's queerbaity. I think it's immensely tragic and beautiful, monstrous and beautiful, and while it would suck for every story to be like that, I loved a story that would play with love in that way. I loved writing fanfiction that explored and pushed through that tension. The fact of the romantic impossibility was a sort of invitation to write ways that it could happen. Is that strange? Maybe that's just a coping mechanism I've developed. Anyway. I was okay with the story. It's sort of queering the backstory of these two men in Arthur Conan Doyle's stories, giving them this fraught romantic history.

There's a whole mess in there about fandom conspiracies and whatnot. I really never understood any of that and I was truly shocked by what happened in fandom when series 4 aired. I'm embarrassed that I didn't see it coming when the signs were there, and that I didn't understand it that fannish shipping had tipped over into something else that I still can't completely wrap my head around, so I won't pretend to have a useful opinion about any of that.

What hurt me the most wasn't the way the narrative about the relationship resolved. It was the way the creators talked about it the queer reading of the story, and about us, after series 4 aired. As if we were gross and silly and wrong. And ridiculous. And offensive. And they were angry with us.

I realize creators see fandom from a very different vantage point than I do, and I'm sure there's more going on than I can possibly be aware of, real life stuff, scary stuff fans may have been up to, but the dramatic reaction from the Sherlock creators dismissing all the very legible and originally self-aware romantic elements of their own story shocked the hell out of me, and made me feel...well, stupid and ashamed, honestly. Because I didn't see any of that coming on any level. I thought they understood us.

I didn't, and still don't, see anything wrong with wanting an implied queer romance to go from subtext to text. I didn't see anything wrong with arguing that it could, or even that it should. What would actually happen in the story was a whole other matter, but the fannish conversations about the potential of the narrative were fair and legit, as far as I'm concerned. I never expected to be told that I was imagining it the whole time. I trusted that Steven Moffat in particular wouldn't do that. And I'm embarrassed that I believed that he wouldn't. I'm hugely disappointed that he did.

And I'm embarrassed that I'm embarrassed, because of the parasociality of it all! Steven Moffat doesn't know me. It's not about me. But, at the same time, it is. I'm part of that collective noun. And I wasn't wrong about that story.

And now I think David Jenkins would not do that to us, and I truly believe he wouldn't, because he's already confirmed it in the text and in conversations about the text. We're free. I think he actually understands. He seems to understand it better than I do. I like the way he frames it. He's given me a way to think about all this that's actually very useful, and healing. And because this story isn't gaslighting us, there shouldn't be a whole dialogue about fans getting it wrong and stupid, sex-obsessed girls. Right?

Right?

I need a hug.

[brisquad-unit-4402]

hello from 4402

my name is unit 4402 but all my friends call me 4402. i don't like to take my tactical gear off but if taichou asked. well.

my oshi is sonny brisko but i am also american so i'm not really into watching taichou live at 5 am. so i'm also a comfydant, quilldren, and vantacrew, but let’s be real, i’m a vezcrewneer. krisis and noctyx are my favorite units

yeah i'll write some nijisanji x readers here are my rules please read them before requesting

last updated 4/5/24: clarified wording. added my twitter link. fixed typos. changed wording to include all vtubers i write for, not just niji en

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: .☽ . :☆ﾟ. ───

important rules

do not crosspost or copy my works without my permission. unit 4402 will only post from my ao3, twitter and this tumblr, please ask me if you can crosspost my works. this includes translations.

do not feed my work to ai. this is plagiarism. i have an extended statement about ai policies here.

don't be weird. do not act unhealthily parasocial or obsessive about the livers on my blog. please make sure to treat me, the rest of the readers, and the livers with respect. additionally, homophobia, racism, transphobia and other forms of discrimination/bigotry will not be tolerated whatsoever.

i will only write about liver characters, and not the people behind the livers. i will not be writing or discussing the livers irl, including past lives, discourse, etc.

this page is for currently active livers only. do not request graduated livers, their future or past lives. do not request livers that are not currently active. i support the livers' choices to move on and their privacy outside of their career, and there are plenty of other lovely blogs that write for graduated livers. here is a statement on my mysta rias fics and requests after his graduation.

don't be messy. this blog is for fun and i want to keep a positive atmosphere without any drama. please do not intentionally bring up any topics that may cause infighting, discourse, etc within the community.

some words about nsfw. because of my own boundaries, please do not request nsfw prompts. each nsfw post will have a read more, and is intended for 18+ only. i am an adult and will be blocking minors that interact with nsfw posts

disobeying any of the above rules will result in your asks/messages being deleted and getting blocked.

.　 . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆

other things

i will always write reader as gender neutral, and avoid pronouns if i can but if i must then i'll always use they/them. please do not request a specific gender/pronouns for reader.

all of my romantic posts about uki are written with his sexuality in mind. i will not write reader as female-coded in romantic posts about him. this is my one exception to the above gender neutral rule but i intend for his entries to be nblm-friendly just as much as mlm

i will refer to you/mc as Reader because i think using (y/n) is clunky af

please only request when my ask box is open

you may use my askbox just to brainrot instead of asking for a request

for nsfw posts: please assume that every character in the post has given consent. clicking the read more means you also consent to reading it. if there's a role/occupation kink such as teacher/student, etc, please assume that everyone involved is of legal age and roleplaying

if you need a certain content warning or tag blacklisted, please send me a message or ask so i can edit some tags and make posts more accommodating

.　 . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆

i can write:

fluff

angst

comedy

gore

hurt/comfort

brainrot

headcanons

crack/crack treated seriously

polyamory

platonic

romantic

queerplatonic

alternative universes

alters/alter egos (lucy kaneshiro, box akuma, etc)

liver characters as streamers (for example, i will write about shu being a sorcerer that also streams, but not the irl person behind shu yamino.)

don't get your hopes up but i might write these:

yandere

suggestive themes

nsfw (do not request)

whatever the fuck legatus 505's worldbuilding has going on, i don't think i totally get it but i sure can bluff!

i will block anyone who asks for:

rape/noncon/dubcon

pedophilia/shota/loli

abuse

bigotry/discrimination

unsanitary/excretory kink

i will not write:

irl livers

graduated/terminated livers

livers that are not listed below

ocs

uki with female reader/fem-coded reader

in-depth illness/disorders/conditions

i reserve the right to privately delete any requests that make me uncomfortable without announcement. thank you for understanding

.　 . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆

i will write for: all currently active members of NIJISANJI EN, HOLOSTARS TEMPUS AND ARMIS, and FIRST STAGE PRODUCTION AVALLUM

.　 . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆

[aconstantstateofbladerunner]

Hello I am writing a book (fic)

It involves a character developing a sort of para social relationship to another character who died from the things and actions they left behind

I was wondering if you had tips to make it seem more convincing than ''we have similar tastes, I will base my entire personality off of you''

(this got much longer than i intended so i apologize for rambling)

The thing to keep in mind is that there isn’t one singular way to write a toxic parasocial relationship. One of the things that often makes real people fandoms and stan culture so toxic is that there is a lot of infighting between groups with different kinds and levels of toxic. And the groups themselves can often in force their own toxic positivity where they hold themselves and each other up as enlightened paragons superior to the ignorant masses. The way you describe things here, it seems like it’s just one person, but keep the above in mind if there is a ‘fandom’ around the dead character, even a small one.

Speaking broadly for individual thought processes, the core factor of what turns a normal interest/admiration of a famous stranger into a toxic parasocial relationship is when the person on the outside no longer recognizes the scale of the barrier between then and their object of interest. They start to believe the object is sending them all these special messages and details that only a ‘real’ fan would understand. (The ‘real fan’ part is especially important, as another big chunk of the mindset behind toxic parasocial fandoms is the perceived hierarchy. There are haters at the bottom who only live to tear down the object, the ignorant normies who don’t recognize the object’s greatness, there are the bad fans who interpret the object wrong or like them for the wrong reasons, the fake fans who pretend to have the right reasons for clout, and finally the few, the oppressed, the enlightened individuals who are better and smarter than everyone else because they like a stranger in the correct way. Said enlightenment tends to assign them the authority to do whatever they want to anyone who doesn’t meet their standards.) It’s a form of projection; the fan spends all this time and effort thinking about their object, so the object must be doing the same thing and they clearly love the fan back just as much. This can extend into conspiracy territory when they start searching for patterns and messages that aren’t actually there in order to find ‘proof’ of a conclusion they’ve already come to. The obvious example being when fans ship two irl people so hard, they convince themselves that the two are in fact secretly dating and the reason they aren’t public is because of nebulous nefarious forces. And if only the object would listen to the ‘real’ fans even more, they know exactly how to ‘save’ them from their situation because they understand what the object wants better than them. But in the mean time, there is a moral imperative to post about them as much as possible because that is the most important thing for the object. This kind of worldview can be difficult to wrap one’s head around without being in the thick of it, let alone writing it, so hopefully this will help get the gears turning.

As for specific suggestions, the details will vary based on how the worshiped object died. But based on what you’ve said here, I would start with the similar tastes angle that gradually snowballs into the character believing they know them better that anyone who actually knew them before they died. It starts innocently enough, reading about, empathizing with, and imagining that they would have gotten along if they knew each other before the one died. Perhaps the living character is very lonely, and the death of someone who could have been a rare potential friend hits that much harder. Maybe (depending on how they actually die) the living character starts believing that if they did know them, they could have saved them from their end. Maybe hindsight reveals answers the living character is sure they would have figured out before it was too late. To take your “I will base my entire personality off of you,” literally, maybe the character starts copying the behaviors and tastes they don’t have in common under the belief they need to emulate them in order to ‘honor’ them. But on the other hand, they start projecting their own issues onto the object to fill in the blanks: “They never said it, but I know they must have felt [blank] about that because I’ve been there.” Anyone who says otherwise is just too ignorant to read the signs. You could also throw in an insult about how detractors just don’t have the life experience/aren’t mature enough to get it, I’ve seen that one a lot. Picking fights with people who don’t have the exact same interpretation in general. Again, the character earnestly feels deeply emotionally attached to this dead character, claiming them as a lost friend. Any evidence in contrast to that worldview is an attack, on both the titular character and the dead one. And as more ‘attacks’ come, they align themselves as a ‘fellow victim’ to the dead one. Maybe even the dead character’s family are ‘out to get them.’ Maybe they decide the few remaining friends they do have are lesser than them because they can’t see the truth. But, if you want to take them to the next level, they could formulate the fantasy that the dead character made all the stuff they left behind specifically for the living one. It was fate. It was a classical, romantic tragedy selflessly gifted on behalf of the living character. They were meant to find and understand their words better than anyone else, and in turn become the keeper of their legacy.

[kkyujikoo]

These are my... 2...? Maybe 50, cents about the whole "freejk" thing. I'm gonna be extremely petty and at some points a whole lot sarcastic and it's gonna be long but I had to say it. As soon as I get my computer I'm gonna make it under read more, but the app does whatever it wants, as we know.

Listen, this ain't my first fan rodeo, and not even the first fan rodeo where I've been directly or indirectly accused of being some sort of pervert or delulu. I've been in fandom spaces since I was a teen, I was shipping mlm couples when queerbaiting in TV shows was still something that was seen as the norm rather than some cheap disgusting trick. I was there when fanfic spaces saw "slash" fics as something "different" and to be tagged with a more mature rating even when they just looked at each other.

I was in BBC's Sherlock's fandom and I shipped Johnlock during the hiatus between S3 and S4, at this point I'm not even feeling it when people call me delulu or a weirdo.

So, yeah, take this with a grain of salt: as a person who has seen thousands of times fandom drama unfolding and has lived too much of it... This whole situation is so ridiculous it makes me laugh. Like, yeah, it's maddening how people will blame anyone and everyone because they don't even see their own bias and homophobia, granted, but like... It also makes me laugh for the sheer dumbassery of the reasoning behind it all?

Like... Y'all are getting mad and for what? Because it sure as hell isn't the invasion of privacy, since y'all are watching the same content we're all watching and you're paying to see it the same way everyone else is. If you don't want to "invade their privacy", you should just... Stop watching content that isn't their music videos, RUN episodes or interviews. Memories and any kind of dvd/video that shows what they're doing behind the scenes shouldn't be part of their job as musicians, and therefore we're intruding in their privacy... Or aren't we?

Or maybe it's more nuanced than that: maybe the content they release on dvd/on their official channels is part of their job as entertainers, and it's been approved, and it's a small window THEY are granting us.

You know what's the REAL invasion of privacy and what REALLY invalidates someone autonomy? When you, who maybe aren't even paying to see that content (which is something I understand, like, dude, I'm not covered in money either), DEMAND what kind of behind the scenes content you want when I swear ABSOLUTELY NO ONE has asked you. Once again: you don't like it? You think it's some huge invasion of privacy? Don't buy it. Don't interact with it. Convince your friends to do the same. For all I care, just go and petition to boycott this kind of content. I know you won't do it, because... That's the thing, isn't it? It's not the invasion of privacy that bothers these people.

Y'all aren't mad because we get into their business or else you would have gotten real mad when we were privy to REAL private moments like people crying their hearts out.

No, no. Y'all are mad because it's "shipping content" and "fanservice" which apparently bothers you because it lacks authenticity.

Pick a side, lovelies: either you DON'T want to invade their privacy, and thus all the content they release should be focused on what fans want to see, or you WANT to know how they interact TRULY in private.

And here's the catch: "shipping content" can be anything. Shipping existed WAAAAAYYY before the word for it was invented, same way with fanfictions. Shipping means, literally, "seeing two (or more) people interact and thinking they would make a good romantic pair". That's it. That's quite literally it. Everything else is just some nuance of the concept of shipping, but at its core, it's nearly impossible to ban all shipping content when it's a group of seven people, because they should for real go in social distancing mode to do so. Most people who have parasocial relationships tend to have "ships" whether they know it or not, because we've all, at least once, looked at a dynamic from the outside and thought "oh man they look cute together". So, even if, o dear ones, your wishes were granted... What the hell do you mean by "shipping" content? Should they just film solo clips, avoiding talking about the other members? But wouldn't that be fanservice, since it's focused on pleasing the fans? (Which, ultimately, is what fanservice MEANS, and I hate to break it to y'all but the whole concept behind entertainment and thus all the content BTS releases it's... For the fans. Like, they're not going out of their way to just meet our expectations but they're certainly doing fanservice by the mere act of releasing bonus content.)

But it's not even quite that, is it? Because no one bats an eye if it's Tae kissing Nj's cheek. I've seen no hashtag against everyone - and I mean literally every one of them - wolf whistling at Nj. It's okay to show intimacy... Because they're bandmates and it's okay to be close to someone who you see basically 24/7, I hear you. And it's also okay when people see that and gush over that closeness, because it's such a nice thing to see.

Soooooo... We've got to free JK from whom exactly? From what?

Are y'all mad cause people pointed out there's very little way a bruise that stayed for a whole ass night could be a quick bite? Because that doesn't harm jk, at most makes fun of him and jimin and their poor excuses (seriously, guys, next time consider using mosquitoes or "I was doing stuff". It'll be equally embarrassing but at least the meme will be funny), and it's literally... A fair observation. Like. It's a hickey, people are gonna make jokes about seeing a hickey and poor excuses of covering it up in the exact same way they're gonna make jokes over jimin falling out of chairs. And yeah, a hickey is AT LEAST something that happens in a sensual context. Like, I could understand "people who are extremely familiar with each other will have different body language/touch in areas where usually you wouldn't see friends touching each other", but that's not. Not a hand on the thigh. It's a hickey on the neck. I don't even know a more stereotypical placing for a hickey. But once again, are y'all mad because someone is pointing it out? Because that's not being delulu or even being a shipper, really, it's just commenting on something that was approved to be shown and discussed in something that was released BY THEM.

Are y'all mad at hybe for showing something that literally fell onto their hands? Cause like, unless someone (I'm counting on Jimin, since as we know Jungkook was busy spinning him round and round and had both his hands busy) called at hybe headquarters to say "yo bang pd substitute, is it okay if I give my friend jk here a hickey? Cause he's being really annoying rn and he has to pay", I highly doubt anyone expected Jungkook to come to rehearsal all neatly marked up. Or idk, maybe someone at hybe asked them "we need Jungkook to come in with a hickey but refuse to say it's a hickey, so that fans will feel reeeeally served." That sounds perfectly plausible too. Or a good marketing strategy.

Now, if you're a big company and your objective is to have some footage of the rehearsals for a concert, and the fandom is too good at noticing stuff for their own good, and one of your artists comes in with a very visible mark, and he and his bff bropal4lyfe come n with a story about how they were playing and a bite happened, you've got three choices: 1. Cut the artist out of aaaaalll the footage. Someone would have noticed the "bite mark" anyway, you best believe that. If you don't want anyone to notice it, you gotta cut him in most of the footage where it's visible. 2. Keep the hickey, discard the explanations. You could do that, but also it would feel a lot more unfaithful to everyone involved. Also they clearly worked their ass off to invent an explanation, come on! They truly tried to do their best inventing something that was not "it's a mosquito bite", they should get some credit! 3. Keep the bite, keep the explanation.

Notice how none of these solutions include the biting never happening because... They couldn't prevent it? The only thing they have any control over is how they're framing each "accident". And that's not an easy job.

I applaud you, people on the editing team.

So... On whom should we cast the blame now? Ah, yes, I think it's finally time for the ultimate scapegoat of this fandom: Jimin. Which is funny, cause... You know... If this were really about privacy, or being "victims" of shipping... This should be about freeing him too, you know? But obviously Jimin does it for attention, while Jungkook, poor angel that he is, doesn't even know what shipping is.

Furthermore, don't we all know how much Jimin imposes himself in Jungkook's life? To the point where he, multimillionaire man feels compelled to share a car with Jimin even if they're both late in the process. And can't you see how uncomfortable he is, draping himself over Jimin, making Jimin drap himself over him?

Oh lordy, truly such an awful eight years Jungkook spent, choosing to have vacations with someone who made him uncomfortable, spending free time with him, even having to suck his ear in public to the point you can see his saliva just because Jimin was sad :( truly an all-around bad time for Jungkook, as evidenced by alllll those times when he said Jimin was pretty, cute, and all-around knowing every little thing about Jimin. I absolutely concur, the dude would be so much more happy if jimin was not in his life.

Did that sound weird and absolutely ridiculous and a really absurd joke? Because that's what y'all sound like to me. Like. Jungkook is out there living his best life, getting hickeys and showered in affection and y'all paint him as a fucking martyr??? I'm sure he's really truly desperate that Jimin holds him in such high regards 😭😭😭 I can see him suffering whenever he starts doing his own serendipity rendition 😭😭 and when he claimed you are me, I am you as his and Jimin's only 😭😭😭 I cannot believe this poor baby 😭😭😭

I've reached a point where every time I hear this stuff I laugh because the levels of twisting reality when it comes to jikook are extraordinary, Jungkook will have a literally blissed out face and people will cry in outrage.

But coming back to my point: let's pretend you're not mad at Jimin and the possibility that jikook are dating: are y'all mad... At the hickey? Because at this point it seems like the only feasible solution. And if you are, do not worry: I'm sure Jungkook's skin was throughly healed by his boo. A kiss soothes even the worst pain, doesn't it?

[literallyshiv]

this discussion on your blog is making me realize how much i hate how fandom for shows becomes fandom for people who watch the shows. i mean this in the kindest way possible but everyone including you and your friend group are just some guys. silly little people who watch a television show and sometimes reblog or post things i like. maybe ive just seen far too many people get far too inflated egos about it all and then they start being mean and insufferable to other people and its like bro you post on the internet were all losers here no one care how many notes you get if you are being a jerk or making it not a fun place anyway sorry for the ramble i just trust you wont start being an idiot (derogatory) and keep being an idiot (affectionate) because youre a good egg i think <3

actually yes though i absolutely understand and agree because the other side of the coin is that people start parasocializing the friend group and being weird about it and treating them as if they are a joke machine who they can just say whatever they want to just to get a funny reaction without any regard to the boundaries that person might have. like the reason i am so okay with making jokes that Push The Line of whats appropriate or whatever with my friends on here is because we are like. actual friends. as in we arent just random people who follow each others blogs we regularly talk to each other behind the scenes and are comfortable with each other and have a sense of what is funny because we know each other vs what would not be funny because it crosses their boundaries. but other people don't see the behind the scenes part they just see the funny posts part so they feel like they can just hop in and join in when really thats like. not someone who has any real relationship to the group at all.

and im not talking about this blog everyone has been perfectly lovely in my experience except for a few weird anons that some of my other friends have gotten. im more just Observing the pattern that other popular friend groups on tumblr go through

[mariaiscrafting]

ahhhh ty ty ty <3

ok, so I think that what makes Dream act this way (iykyk) is how dreamwastaken became so big so quickly. and by quick I mean fucking lightning speed.

he didn't have enough time to learn enough about cc etiquette, especially in these three aspects: influence, boundaries and fanbase/stans/whatever you call it. I'll try to explain it:

• Influence: Does he know the influence he has? Like, when he hears that he is the myct with the largest fanbase, does he really process that? I remember he talked about not being able to control all of his fanbase and there's bad apples everywhere -- which is true, and that only like 1% of his fanbase breaks his boundaries (that include sending hate for him, harassing, doxing, etc. yk, basic twitter culture lol) but, honey, with your big ass fanbase, 1% is still a lot of people. As a content creator you *have* to be aware of that.

let's take the hbomb situation. First off, as a streamer, it's you that set the mood of the stream. Even if he was only messing around with his pals, even if they did say to do not send hate to hbomb, dt dunking on him created a toxic environment, which caused his fans being toxic towards hbomb and you know what happens next. Hell, when this happened, I was watching Tapl and he was watching them and he was crying laughing over them screaming bc they were just. so loud and so aggressive that it was kinda ??? Sirs, this is literally a Minecraft Stream lmaooo

my point is, that was not the road that dreamwastaken, 21M fans, should've taken. he don't condone his fans actions but he knows his fans are diehard and will always be on his side, he should be more careful before stating negative opinions, especially if its towards another person.

• Boundaries and Fanbase: He posted a list of his boundaries a while ago, idk if you know or seen it (btw please george copy your bestie for the love of god <3) but I'm not talking about those boundaries, I'm talking about the basic boundaries between cc and viewer. boundaries that, in my opinion, should exist between cc and viewer. I get that Dream is an open person, an oversharing type of open person if I may add, but I think he should take a step back regardless. When I heard that he was taking a time from twitter, I genuinely got so glad, not because he couldn't start any drama then, but because it would do so so good for his mental health. I'm not even that fond of him, it's just that for me, any cc taking a break or outright leaving twitter is a win for me. I know how RSD is hard to deal and honestly letting shit out it's better but dream you have dt you have bbh so please don't make things worse online 😭 I know how good can be to feel validation from millions of people but. it's not a good idea, especially in the state that his fanbase is on rn (this topic is kinda sensitive to talk abt for me bc people be outright ableist and hide it as criticism like. say that shit's not helping his reputation and whatever without acting like he's fucking. manipulating his fanbase for being affected by his rsd💀 or, on the other hand, don't say that hes just being adhd🤪 when he's just being an asshole like damn that's a Him thing bro lol)

(omg it's so big I'm so sorry and theres a part two I'm so sorry tumblr user messed-up-gal ToT) - morango 1/2

pt. 2:

Dream is the proof that the people who loves you can be your downfall. istg. Have you noticed that every drama that Dream enters, people usually get more mad abt how his fanbase reacts (85% they'll react in a bad way) than Dream himself? it's not always, but its definitely more likely. I'm not saying Dream is saint, he Is petty and his ego does him dirty and made him choke multiple times before,, But! i dont think hes a bad guy. he's literally just a dude. ok, he's a 21yr old white gamer man that has a trumpie past (maybe?? idk. I think hes cured now ig lol) so he's bound to do some shitty things but he still tries to get better and hopefully he'll mature. 21 is old enough but it's still so young, yk? I kind of lost my mind during the end and my eyes are literally begging to be closed so tl;dr: Its gonna be hard for him to become a better cc bc his fans don't let him be criticized (by infantilizing his adhd symptoms or the mob mentality as soon as someone says anything abt him), the honest criticism get lost between lies from antis that don't know shit, he still has a lot of growing up to do and overall he became famous too fast and he needs to learn things even faster bc as soon as there's not a single one dream hater on sight they'll turn their back and attack him instead lmao I hate twitter i definitely have more to say but I'm tired and my memory is shit. just-- hate dream if you want, love dream if you want, nobody is obligated to have an opinion but I wanted to express mine. have a lovely day! -morango 2/2

Aight, there's a lot to unpack here, so Imma try to only go into the points I have something to add to (here's what I talk about in each paragraph, if you want to jump to a specific point):

Speed of Dream's rise to fame

The "bad apples" in the Dream fanbase

Post-MCC HBomb stream

Not condoning versus actually condemning his fans

Manipulation & RSD

Criticism of Dream, his fanbase, and his brand

The “just a dude” argument, flipped

First, I agree that one of the many factors that has resulted in the current image Dream has set up for himself, the way his fanbase functions, the ways people hate on him, and the way the Dream brand functions, is the speed of his rise to fame. It's unique, and there are probably a hundred social/psychological angles that could be used to examine the exact effects of that speed upon all of these facets of the Dream Name; did rapid fame beget the rapid rise of unrighteous hatred, did those waves of hatred then instigate the rise of a surprisingly overdefensive fanbase, did that rapid fame get to his head and/or result in an inability to appropriately handle all the after-effects of rapid fame, etc.? That point you bring up, about how the speed of his rise to fame requires him to learn even more quickly, is so interesting to me. I think that maybe Dream expected to get pretty famous pretty quickly, hence the preparedness in regards to some mechanics of influencer fame- merchandise, business-building, networking, knowing how to manage his fanbase to best benefit him. But I don't think he expected to get this famous this quickly. This is all speculation of course, as are this entire post and your ask, but I think that he just couldn't anticipate having to learn how to handle enmasse controversy, waves of antis, or every Youtuber speculating/knowing about him; and yeah, that results in him having to learn all of these things very quickly, lest he allow his whole brand and fandom to fall apart.

Second, I disagree with the frequent argument that Dream's fanbase is only marginally toxic. Personally, I think that the circumstances of Dream's fame, his personality and management of his fanbase, and his brand of content have resulted in the very specific kind of stan that Dream stans are. I don't think this is simply a case of "all fandoms have a small percentage of assholes who take it too far;" rather, the nature of the community itself breeds the kind of mentality of "an asshole who takes it too far." I only even know this because I was a Dream fan (kinda a stan, I'm ngl). At one time, I watched every single Dreamwastaken & Dream Team video multiple times; I listened to the Manhunts on repeat, as though they were podcasts; I followed mostly smiletwt and dttwt accounts on mcyttwt; I had upwards of 10 tabs for AO3 DNF fics open on my phone at a time; I watched DNF and Dream Team Being A Family-esque compilations on repeat; I watched every George and Sapnap alt stream I possibly could; I went out of my way to defend Dream against Redditors and Twitter antis regarding the cheating scandal. For the latter half of 2020, and a couple months of 2021, I lived and breathed this part of the fandom; so when I say that Dream stans are a whole other breed than any other kind of mcyttwt stan, I say that because I used to be like that, too. I usually use parasocial very loosely or ironically, but Dream stans are genuinely one of the most parasocial fanbases I have ever seen or been a part of. The level of investment Dream stans have in this man's life, the lengths they will go to to defend him, the amount of psychonalysis and digging they do on his life and character, the amount of emotion he can evoke in them- it's taken to another level, man. This isn't just characteristic of a fraction of his fanbase; this is what the fanbase is like as a whole.

Third, I partially disagree with your take on the HBomb thing, but not in the way one might think? I actually empathize with the way they reacted much more than I thought I would, simply because I suspect I have RSD (also suspect I have ADHD, have for several months now) and I can see myself getting insanely frustrated because of something like that. Like yeah, it was "just a MC stream" or "just an MC game," but that's kinda disregarding the fact that something that might seem like "just a [insert inconsequential thing]" to a rational mind might have a major emotional consequence/take a major emotional toll on someone with RSD, or really anyone who gets easily impatient/angry about video games (Sapnap reminds me of many of my friends, in that way). The issues I, personally, had with the way they handled the HBomb situation is that these are simply explanations and reasons for my empathy; they are not excuses. I have no excuse when I get irrationally angry about something inconsequential in my own life, for a couple of reasons. One, because I am an adult and I need to learn how to handle my reactions and manage my own anger. Two, because as someone with many mental problems, it is my responsibility to learn coping mechanisms to ensure my own emotional stability and livelihood; this includes learning whatever I need to handle RSD- whether that be isolating myself from others when I know I will become violently/passionately angry about something, creating and sustaining a support system that can get me through bouts of extreme emotion, finding healthy emotional outlets for my negative emotions that won't harm myself or others, or a combination thereof. I don't think what they said about HBomb post-MCC was an irreversibly horrible thing, or anything. I think there were errors committed by two men who should be fully capable of foreseeing and preventing those errors, but I don't unconditionally hate Dream or Sapnap for the post-MCC stream or comments. I just wish they had made amends quickly, publicly, and sufficiently, because the greatest consequences from the whole thing weren't even from those two criticizing HBomb themselves; they were from the waves of backlash because of their immense influence on the MCYT fandom, which could've been prevented, if they had acted maturedly and responsibly after the stream.

Fourth, you’re right, that he doesn’t seem to condone his fans’ behavior. I detest the frequent anti argument that one of the reasons Dream should be criticized is because he explicitly uses his fanbase to attack others, or something of the sort. Personally, I think he created his fanbase in a very specific way and interacts with them in such a way so as to benefit him as much as possible, yes, but he never actually tells his fanbase to go and yell at or harrass anyone. Still, there is a significant difference between not condoning something and condemning something. It might seem unfair, and it might be annoying of me to say this, but I truly think that someone with this large a fanbase, especially one as overzealous as Dream’s, needs to be condemned every single time it goes on some kind of rampage/harrassment campaign. Either that, or Dream needs to make a definitive, permanent statement against any kind of harrassment of others on his behalf. I know he’ll occassionally make the odd tweet or serious stream addressing something his fanbase did, but one of the many reasons his fanbase keeps doing the same damn thing is because he’s so lukewarm and spotty about this condemnation. A fanbase like his needs to be given explicit guidance and boundaries for the numerous things they do in his defense- harrassing/doxing antis, harrassing people who criticize him who aren’t antis (respectful criticism, other CCs, other MCYT stans, etc.), harrassing the people he critcizes (i.e., HBomb), speculating about his personal life (his relationship with his gf, his mental health/ADHD, his romantic life, his childhood, etc.), and speculating about his relationships with his friends and colleagues.  My personal ideology is that, if you have significant influence over someone or a group of people, you are at least somewhat responsible for the things those people do or don’t do, if it at all relates back to you. I’m so fucking tired of the argument that CCs aren’t responsible for what their fans do. Obviously they aren’t responsible for every single one of their fans, and obviously they can’t fully control their fans at the end of the day. But I think there are certain things that reach such a level of extremity that does make those CCs responsible. This can be measured by either scale or intensity; that is to say, if a CC’s fanbase does things on an extremely large scale, or one person from/a fraction of the fanbase does something really extreme, then the CC is made all the more responsible. Another CC I’ve always had trouble discussing with other people on this subject is Pewdiepie, in particular, about the extremists in his fanbase. Because the things a small handful of his fans have done in reference to him and/or in his name were so fucking extreme, I thought Pewdiepie had to take at least some responsibilty. Along a similar vein, because the things Dream’s general fanbase does are so widespread and on such a massive scale, Dream has to take at least some responsibility.

Fifth, okay. Hmmm. I want to tackle this point you made about the ableism he faces in some criticism of him carefully and with empathy, but not coddling. One, I do think a lot of the criticism he receives for the ways he handles criticism (post-cheating Tweets, reactions to John Swan, post-MCC HBomb stream, etc.), disregard his RSD and can be oftentimes ableist. I’ve actually encountered people irl who criticize this aspect of Dream’s character, and have had to explain to them their disregard for how ADHD/RSD affect neurodivergent people’s reactions to criticism. But - and this is a big, and very controversial but - I think mentally ill/disordered people can 100% leverage their mental illness/disorders for the sake of manipulation. This is actually something I’ve learned from a psychiatrist, regarding the ways people I know and I handle our anxiety and depression. This manipulation can be unwitting or intentional, but it is entirely possible, and the possibility shouldn’t be entirely dismissed as ableist. Living with a mental illness or disorder that others know about/that you are very public about puts you in an interesting position to receive frequent sympathy, empathy, and/or pity. I’m not saying that empathy for Dream having ADHD/RSD is entirely unjustified; on the contrary, I have frequently expressed how I can relate to his ADHD symptoms and have defended him for expressing those symptoms, both on mcytblr and in real life. I am saying that Dream fans tend to use his ADHD as a kind of shield for a lot of criticism levied against him, including the supposition that he could be manipulating his fanbase to defend him because of his public expressions of RSD. So yes, my theory is that Dream knows how to levy every aspect of his life for his personal gain and for the growth of his brand, and that includes his ADHD. I think he has courage for his openess about his ADHD, I think his openness has contributed to the rise in awareness of mental health and empathy for neurodivergent people within Gen Z, and I think at least some of his expressions of RSD publicly/online weren’t intentionally made public. All that being said, I also think he has to know just how much his fanbase cares about defending him for his ADHD, and I think he has to know that some of the things he does related to his neurodivergence endear him to his audience, in a coddling, baby-ing, mildly ableist sorta way.  Maybe this is all incredibly presumptuous of me. Of course, I can never know the real intentions behind any Dream video, Tweet, or stream. Maybe I’m just projecting, because I can see myself doing just this, if I had the maturity I had circa 2018-2019. Idfk know, man.

Sixth, I actually agree with you here, people probably do get more mad at his fanbase than him. Dream puts out content pretty seldomly, considering the frequency of content output for other Youtubers/streamers in his field/at his brand size. And yet, he has received masses of criticism. Considering that the things Dream himself does/says do not entirely correlate with the amount of criticism he receives, I think it’s a logical assumption that a lot of that criticism actually goes back to the size of his presence online, rather than the man himself. That is to say, because of the massive community he’s amassed, the exponential growth of his fanbase, their presence on every single social media site and in virtually every single Internet space/fandom, and the size of his metaphysical presence in his fields, Dream is much bigger than the man himself, so the criticism he receives will, at least in part, be a direct or indirect result of all these other aspects of the Dream brand.  Something I don’t think many Dream fans/stans, or even most MCYT fans in general, understand, is that Dream isn’t just “one guy” in the eyes of the Internet- at least, not anymore. He hasn’t been for nearly a year. Like Pewdiepie, Mr. Beast, and other CCs who have amassed similar levels of fame and wealth via Internet content creation, Dream is a brand now, and most people will treat him as such. He isn’t just some uwu soft boy playing Minecraft anymore. He is on a whole other level from any other MCYT in his friend circle or colleague interaction bubble. His words will never again live in a vaccum or private bubble, his friend circle will never again be under anything less than intense scrutiny, his past actions will never again be simple mistakes or silly errors, his words will never again be casual tweets or streams for laughs among a couple thousand followers. Dream’s name represents something much bigger than just the one man. As such, all aspects of his brand, including his fanbase, will tie back to him and, ultimately, to any general criticism of him.

I’m not saying I like any of this, and I actually think the evolution of influencers from people to a marketable brand with similar mechanisms, responsibilities, and liabilities as a corporation is some kind of late capitalism nightmare fuel; I’m just stating my own observations and theories as to why so much anti-Dream criticism seems to be directed at his fanbase, rather than him.

Seventh, he’s just a guy, you’re right, but I think a lot of the antis on Tumblr understand this more than you know. As I’ve seen it, the sentiment among much of the “DSMP stans DNI” crowd seems to be that of “Dream/other MCYTs are such ‘bad’ people, so why do their fans stick to these mediocre, racist men, when there are so many better people to watch/better content to consume?” We know this argument is flawed for many of the obvious reasons - the conflation of all MCYTs’ actions regardless of individual identity, the equating of a CC’s fanbase’s morality to that of the CC they enjoy watching, the exxageration of any error MCYT CCs have committed as bigotry/racism, the fundamental misunderstanding and misinformation that led antis to believe this exxageration of the facts, etc. But I want to focus on the general, underlying sentiment of, “why not watch someone better, when your creator is problematic?” Sometimes, I ask this of Dream stans. Yes, being mildly ignorant, getting involved in the scandals Dream has, and being a right-leaning/libertarian centrist in the recent past all seem like harmless things, all things considered. One could say Dream isn’t nearly as bad as many antis who are misinformed seem to believe, and that there are much worse CCs Dream stans could be watching and creating fan content for. But I think what Tumblr antis wonder is, aren’t there also much better MCYTs/CCs people could be watching and stanning? Because he’s just some guy, right? Is his content truly so exceptional or is he really so exceptional a person, that people have to stick by him, despite the things that spike up regarding his current or past actions? I think that’s what made me finally decide to stop watching Dream. I realized he was just Some Guy. The Dream Team was a comforting dynamic to indulge in, DNF was a cute ship to read and speculate about, and Manhunts were fun videos to watch; however, once the Reddit posts came out and I read them in-depth, the cost-benefit analysis tipped over to the “not worth it” side for me. I realized Dream’s content, while fun and comforting, was not entirely unique, and wasn’t worth sticking around for, given what I then knew about his past political leanings. If he is just Some Guy, then there are a hundred more like him out there. There a hundred more ships, a hundred more found family dynamics, a hundred more entertaining and skilled Minecraft players. So while I agree with you on the point of people being allowed to love him regardless because he is just a guy, at the end of the day, I think that, if we are to believe that sentiment or use that argument in such a manner, we should also understand the flip side- that, if he is just some guy, why is it worth sticking around? To that I say, maybe because people just enjoy the simple things they enjoy.

Anyways, I wholly agree with your tl;dr. Thanks for that insanely long ask, this was a fun thing to keep me occupied while I’ve been at work, facilitating Zoom sessions this whole morning.

[thekitschdiet]

the kitsch diet part II

part one alr posted!! this chunk is about 3,000~ words long... let me know what u think :-) thank u all for all the luv already!!! looks like I really will hit 31 followers by easter!!!!!!!!

  Who is the Kitsch Girl? 

 I think this is more loosely defined, but The Chic Diet did a truly admirable way of reducing a girl to her YSL bag and her really skinny legs. Now, that implies an archetype, or a population in a specific location. I think kitschness is kind of the niche you fill when you’re not really much of anything else, sort of your own conglomerate of mainstream-specific. One major requirement, though, is being a little too into something somewhat uncool. And the whole illusion falls apart if you have any sort of outward insecurity. See, the Kitsch Girl is somewhat undefinable because she is so much of everything. She exists in multitudes, in a way that is also quite simple to understand; think of a list of axioms, or principles to live by. And now add a section to each one that says “but…” to make a collection of verified exceptions. Say, the kitsch girl will never wear jeans. But she thrifted this pair of vintage flares she just loves. She doesn’t reply to texts efficiently, but sometimes she will within a couple seconds. No mascara, no dinner forks, candles are to be collected not burned; but that was a gift, or something. It’s not personal, of course, those are just the contradictions she exists in. Don’t try to understand it, the enigma is essential to the facade. Or maybe she just lives like this, and her character is so homogenous with her inner world there’s no sense in trying to separate it. You have to have a little bit of an individuality complex about the whole ordeal, which is normally so eugh, but if you’re kitschy enough it works on you. Trust!The Kitsch girl is not someone unlikeable, but amiable and well heeled. I double checked that last one, assuming it meant liked by most, but apparently means affluent. I suppose that is an aspect of the kitsch girl too, having seemingly endless frivolous expenses with no real strain, but that’s not important right now. People that don’t like her think so out of jealousy, or something. Envious that her clothes are all kind of shake-it-up-esque and her highlights desperately need touching up, but she still seems so enthralled with the whole of life… How does she enjoy her own company so much when other people want to know her better? Doesn’t she feel weird about blowing people off to make a joke about reading Kafka in the bath? Why would she document her cluttered, unexciting life on Instagram so delicately, so vibrantly? Of course, no one would say this to her face because they are really baseless claims. She’s nice, generous, and valuable to have as a friend. Trade-offs exist, as they do with anyone. But I like thinking it’s easier to overlook a forgotten birthday when your kitschy best friend gave you a multi strand pearl necklace to celebrate the welcome breeze of June. Or some other made-up holiday. She is so unassuming if you’re not really looking. Girls want in on her inner circle. Or they just don’t care. Nothing wrong with being liked or thought of naught, for the most part. Boys are either enthralled or repulsed by her. Her doctor knows her as something of a hypochondriac, but only minorly. It’s just carpal tunnel, don’t worry… The sales staff at CVS turn a blind eye when she slips an eyeliner pencil into her tote bag. She shoplifts on occasion, just to see if she still knows how. But she is not a shoplifter. $9 here and $6.45 there doesn’t really add up to much. Everywhere she goes, she makes a tertiary friend or two. The term of friend is loosely used here, of course. But it is nice to tell a stranger you like her earrings. Or her phone case is so fun, is it Wildflower? The kitsch girl has an eye for this kind of detail. Simply put, she is sort of unspectacular. But in a way that makes you sort of wish you knew her better.

Phone cases

The phone case is, like, religious for the kitsch girl. Sorry, but there’s just no other accessory as flippant and expensive and single-purpose as a trendy little iPhone case with some semitacky stickers plastered over the design. I used to have an iPhone XS- extrasmall-  with like, 18 phone cases. It was kind of a sordid affair. I jest, but really… owning that many phone cases was kind of sick. We get it, you are frivolous and spontaneous and sooo stylish! Stop posting mirror selfies on your Instagram story, your crush isn’t going to see it. Kidding again. Having an extensive collection of phone cases is just so fun because while attainable, most people just simply do not partake in it. That makes you kitschy and unique. I really thought I had more to say about the IDEA of the phone case, but I guess in practice it is all very, very simple. You can slide your driver’s license in the back of a clear case. At what point does it stop being cool to have legal operational control of a vehicle? I don’t display mine because I don’t really like the photo. I look round. In the eyes but also just in general, swollen, unglamorous. Whatever. Not like I drive a Nissan or anything. I drive my *Mom’s* Nissan. Playing Bladee in the car seems sacrilegious. She would hate it.Back to phone cases. Sonix ones are cute but kind of overpriced retail- unless you have like, an iPhone 12 Pro Max or whatever the fuck is new this year, just go to Winner’s. They always have Xs and 11 cases. I had a cherry one for my previous phone, like the exact one Lana Del Rey had? Thank god I sold it before she got outed as a copfucker or whatever. Casetify is for an inadvertent flex. Flexing your lame, lame taste. Sorry, I know you bought it because you liked it, but what you failed to consider is just how un-Kitsch they are. SO common, and they advertise on Instagram. Sorry, I just can’t get into it! Kind of how I just never liked the Brandy Amara tanks. Or lowtop converse. Otterbox is just distressing. Like, if my boyfriend gave me an otterbox phone case I would probably break up with him because somebody clearly isn’t paying attention- one of my favorite, potentially overused joke is how Otterbox cases are the equivalent of orthopedic insoles. Sorry but if you have poor arch support or whatever, but no pain is worth giving up a good pair of Margiela slingback tabi heels. Obviously I couldn’t afford that right now because all loose income goes directly to Wildflower and my cig boy. But like, one day. I hope you want to punch me in the face a little bit after reading that.  If Wildflower isn’t your thing, at least have the decency to get a beaded phone strap. But not from String Ting. Pray tell you aren’t keeping score, but they are one of my several parasocial enemies. That should have been ME collaborating with Wildflower! Should have been ME mailing shit to Caroline Calloway (more on her later, but she is the only blue check I follow. I adore her! I was on her patreon for a bit I thinkl!!) …. Side note. Phone cases are cute but there is no way to properly protect your laptop without looking just absurd or colossally lame. The foam sleeves… ick.

Having the shittiest music taste ever

So like, here’s the thing. I’m an Apple Music user, which sort of reinstates my status as an unironic My Bloody Valentine Hyperpop Death Grips kinda gal. Read; volcel. My most recent conquest ended up being a huge L on my part, but also… I totally dodged a bullet. The guy had an iPhone 11 (female trait) and didn’t know who Rei Brown was, which just seemed suspicious given his Niche. I just know he had a “making out playlist” comprising entirely of like, Joji. Which isn’t a bad thing I guess but so unembarrassing it horseshoes back to being humiliating.Like I said. Having the worst music taste. It’s nice how subjective and deeply personal your music taste can be; no one really Needs to know you’re a die hard drainer. But there’s also no point in being a die-hard drainer and Not capitalizing off it somehow. I added it up and I have well over 150 hours of just Bladee and Yung Lean. Which is so yass? The more I write, using myself as a case study, I realize just how desperately jobless I am. And Yogenfruz isn’t even hiring! UGH!I think there is something very kitschy about liking hyperpop in the least ironic, least obnoxious way. Sort of feeds into a “I’m not like other girls” thing, but I mean… That’s kind of the idea of kitsch, isn’t it? Be a little different but also the very same as your lipgloss brethren?!Side note. If you make monthly playlists I am genuinely kind of afraid of you. That is just so organized!! I just make playlists with esoteric titles and then make a new one when I’m sick of the stuff on the last. I have exhausted most genres but I think my favorite is the “I’m wearing f****ng air forces and my teeth are SO white”. Guess what genre it is. Or don’t, but it’s probably what you think is. Okay, moving on….

Curating a scent

I like thinking I smell like mango and peach, Glossier you, whatever citrus is in that Lush shower jelly and mint 5Gum. But of course it is probably less distinct and just kind of generally fruit-floral-mint. Anyway. I think Glossier You is the perfect scent for anyone with a rather elementary understanding of the whole.. Perfume business. Every bottle of intentional fragrance I own was made via aesthetic choices… it really helps that Glossier You is so cute And so universal. Now, Glossier is kind of interesting to me because it really is at the intersection of cheugy and kitsch. Kind of basic, overplayed, unspectacular. But also…. Often popular things are popular because they are good. Glossier has excellent customer suurv, they ship SO fast (and no import duties! W!) and their stuff is just so sweet and nice if not unoriginal, in kind of the same way strawberry ice cream is. Which is still my favorite, of course, especially if there’s a vegan option. I was talking about Glossier. What the hell! It’s really worth trying out. A huge principle of kitsch is just… having as many possible layers and appendages to your composure as possible. And adding a signature scent just really completes that! When curating your own, I say this as a complete amateur, know-nothing; make it something that comes kind of naturally to Your Character. Like, I’m just not a Chanel No 5 kind of girl. Odds are you aren’t either. My bottle (before she asked for it back when I told her I didn’t use it, in exchange for a Nordstrom’s gift card) was from my grandmother. Ummm.. Yeah, I really have no expertise in curating a scent. But it is nice to have a signature. And having a bottle displayed on your dresser next to your aughties McDonald milkshake themed beanie baby and a handful of lip products is just way too fun! This is the kind of girl I am, everyone! Cluttered, but prioritizing pretty-delicate things!

Cheugyism

Cheugy is a relatively new word that has unfortunately wormed into my vocabulary to replace “uncouth”. Which I use to mean graceless or tacky, but if that isn’t what it means…. Don’t tell me. That would hurt more than weighing myself after a “feast” slash pastry binge at my dear Grandmothe’s house. Like I was saying. Cheugy. It’s sort of a fucked up concept to me because it is a critique on consumption, but not the pace or volume or magnitude of it. But rather… the idea of not being “good” enough at engaging in microtrends, or involvement in the fast paced fashion cycle. Don’t get me started on TikTok, or do, but… yeah,. No. That will require a cigarette because I’m so sorry, but writing a thinkpiece on social media is so lowbrow I would need to find about six ways to aesthetically counteract it…. Moving on.  I think the idea of cheugy is good, we really do need a word to simply and efficiently define “out of date/uninspired/lame”. But the way it is used to shame others for not liking the same trends or whatever is kind of gross. If you use cheugyism to put other people down and not as a neutral identifier umm… you will become what you fear. Sorry, that’s what happens. Some things that I think are cheugy or embarrassing, or just not part of my stylistic lexicon are… 1. Hooded or zip up clothing, or things with a large graphic on the back. Bingo if it's all three! I just can’t get behind it. Side note, my summer home outfit is brandy sweats and a tube top (Urban Outfitters tank I ripped the straps off) and a large cardigan that should have belonged to a stoner, but probably didn’t. I can dunk on bulky, uninspired clothes because I would honest to God NEVER be caught DEAD out of the house wearing any of it. I’m so serious. Next segment should be about the kitsch girl’s inadvertent affinity for diuretics. Remind me….. One of the ports of my laptop is dead. Not really sure what to do about that.

Eye makeup and what it means to me….

Personally, I am one of those people who never wears foundation and kind of has a complex about it. The kitsch girl wears fluffy eyelashes and owns a plethora of sparkly eyeliner. Or maybe she doesn’t, but she has something distinct and a little ritzy, if not haphazard. We all saw Euphoria and it like, totally imprinted on us. The way glitter sits on your face after a long day is so resplendent. When it’s shining and a little bit melted off from your long, semi-productive day… ugh! Just made for film. Pictures on film. But not the Prequel app. I keep getting fucking ads for it. But it’s so embarrassing. Like, isn’t the whole point of film the authenticity of the moment? The texture of the afternoon? Why would you fabricate that? Prequel is just so cheugy. More on that later. But anyhow. Wearing a ton of eye makeup kind of fits with the idea of film too I think. Like, look at you, in the moment. With your strip lash falling off! It’s all so tres-chic. Plus, for whatever reason, it’s kind of unique or notably dedicated to ~Pull up to the function~ with more eye makeup on than everyone else. Sorry, but it really doesn’t take that long! But yes I will gracefully accept your praise… it’s kind of like the dropshipping of complements if you think about it. Easy to source with little to no effort in the curating. Side note, lashes are like $20 for 40 weeks if you cut them in half and use each pair about 5 times. You could probably do more but I lose track. How the fuck is it almost June? I was trudging through the snow to check the mail for my Online Ceramics shirt just last week, I swear. The trick to cutting your lashes (the way I do it anyway) is pretty simple. Get out two lashes that are symmetrical. Find the middle and cut one slightly to the left and one slightly to the right. This means you have two sets (one set is a little more dramatic than the other but at least they are symmetrical) with longer outer edges. Glue this to the outer corner of your eye and you will look so Composed… obsessed with how this layers with three eyeliner tails (one traditional one pointing up and one pointing down directly below it, sort of like the tail light on a 2019 Lexus UX) and one below your eye, like a clown. Fun, irrelevant fact, is the first time I added this third tail to my eye makeup, my dad had just gotten home from the hospital because he was sure he had like appendicitis or something and it was actually.. Not that. Typical indie hypochondriac. He made me bring him cottage cheese on a plate with a teaspoon that evening. I put black pepper on it for flair, which he hated. Walking up and down stairs with a plate of cottage cheese is much more imprinting than most of the multiplication tables. Don’t forget to use a bright shimmer eyeshadow in your inner corner. It really opens up your eyes. I recommend Too Faced.  One time I got a little bit too high and tried to film an “editorial” makeup tutorial. You will never, ever, ever see that video. But I essentially covered my whole eyelid in the ABH shadow “palermo” and smudged out the edges with a tan Tartelette Toasted shade, coupled with my long-expired Milk Makeup holographic stick. Lopsided lashes and near-blinding eyeliner experience aside, it was kind of cool. My point is, you really cannot go wrong with an arsenal of shimmers, taupey mattes and a good eyeliner pen.