#they love each other so much and i am being parasocial but whatever...

[bedforddanes75]

i say i dont care about celebrities and their relationships However i scream and cry and jump for joy when charli posts george

[badaleesbish]

I want to see something where Bada gets idol!reader pregnant and their relationship is public. I dont have a plot just want to see something cute. Maybe throw in some drama cause why not

Down bad bada is a must

What A Life. | Bada Lee x Reader

°SUMMARY:

"𝚆𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚊 𝚕𝚒𝚏𝚎."

"𝚆𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚊 𝚕𝚒𝚏𝚎 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝙸'𝚟𝚎 𝚋𝚎𝚎𝚗 𝚐𝚒𝚟𝚎𝚗."

"𝚆𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚊 𝚕𝚒𝚏𝚎."

"𝚆𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚊 𝚕𝚒𝚏𝚎 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝙸'𝚟𝚎 𝚋𝚎𝚎𝚗 𝚕𝚒𝚟𝚒𝚗𝚐."

"𝚆𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚊 𝚕𝚒𝚏𝚎."

~ 𝙹𝚑𝚎𝚗𝚎 𝙰𝚒𝚔𝚘 - 𝚂𝚝𝚊𝚢 𝚁𝚎𝚊𝚍𝚢 (𝚆𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚊 𝙻𝚒𝚏𝚎)

°CW:

𝚏𝚕𝚞𝚏𝚏, 𝚊𝚗𝚐𝚜𝚝, 𝚐!𝚙 𝚋𝚊𝚍𝚊, 𝚝𝚘𝚡𝚒𝚌 𝚌𝚘𝚖𝚙𝚊𝚗𝚢, 𝚝𝚘𝚡𝚒𝚌 𝚏𝚊𝚗 𝚋𝚊𝚜𝚎 (𝚛. & 𝚋𝚊𝚍𝚊), 𝙳𝙸𝙳 𝙽𝙾𝚃 𝙿𝚁𝙾𝙾𝙵 𝚁𝙴𝙰𝙳‼️ 𝚂𝙾𝚁𝚁𝚈 𝙵𝙾𝚁 𝙼𝙸𝚂𝚃𝙰𝙺𝙴𝚂‼️

There is a lot to being an idol. From having some sort of talent, just simply being a pretty face to look at to strict diets and contracts, hectic overloaded schedules, and toxic groups and companies, but there is something that is expected of you is an idol. Can you guess what it is...

Being the only one for your fans, a parasocial relationship if you will. You are supposed to stay pure and innocent for your fans, no sex, no relationship, no children, no drinking or smoking, no potty mouth. You are supposed to keep your fans as happy as possible, whether it makes you uncomfortable or not. Just do it with a smile, they say. Well, so much for not "breaking" the "idol rules."

You may have screwed up a few months into your solo career as an idol. Your relationship with your choreographer, Bada Lee, was exposed by fucking sasaengs and then was quickly picked up by Dispatch, fucking snitch. There was some hate with comments on your social media like,

"Unnie, you are not ashamed for abandoning us like this?"

"Well... there goes her career."

"Noona, a woman, seriously?!?!? Maybe you should get a real MAN?!?!"

"Wow, so we fuck our choreographers now."

"STAY AWAY BADA, YOU DIRTY CUNT!!!"

But despite the hate, you and Bada decided to go public with your relationship, which gained quite a bit of support with comments from both your fanbases,

"Come on, guys, just admit it. They are cute as fuck."

"Love it!!!"

"Both of my worlds are colliding. What the actual fuck?!?!?."

"My parents are so cute!!!"

"Made for each other fr."

"Look at how they look at each other."

You both were happy. Your careers were skyrocketing, and you two still had somewhat of a supportive fanbase together and solo. Your company were somewhat supportive but still made you apologize to fans to regain their trust again.

"So what you are telling me is that I have to apologize for falling in love?" You scoffed as you sat across from your manager and a couple of members of your staff. "Are you hearing yourself right now?"

"Well, ma'am, you signed a contract that states everything regarding the dating ban as well as the consequences that may follow if broken." Your manager said, pushing the contract towards you as well as pen and paper to follow. "It's there in black and white, ma'am."

"So what's next? Are you gonna make me apologize for getting married and starting a family, too? You said as you began to write your heartfelt apology to your fans.

"Well, let's just hope that doesn't happen, right?" Your manager said as he leaned back in his seat with a smirk on his face. "You are our money maker, sweetheart, so we kind of need you. Tell your bitch to wrap that shit up, okay?"

"Yeah, whatever." You scoffed as you pushed the pan and paper back towards him, standing from your seat as you made your way to the door. "Also, if I were you, I'd watch what the fuck I say since ya know, I am your money maker."

"So what do we do with it?"

"Bada, you don't have to do anything. I have to handle this."

"It should be fairly easy, right?"

Bada was quite confused about the whole situation. It's like, at one moment, you were perfectly fine and then you end up sick at the simple scent or taste of a food. At first you both thought it was your menstrual cycle until you realized you were a whole two weeks late. It can't be, right? There's no way... Is there?

"Okay, I'll just read the instructions and just go for it. What's the worst that could happen?" You grabbed the bag of pregnancy test and made your way to the bathroom with Bada hot on your heels. "Baby, just let me take the test, okay? Alone, please?"

"Yeah, of course. If you need me, just call." Bada said, kissing your forehead before backing up allowing you to walk into the bathroom. "I'll be right here, okay?"

You nodded as you closed the door behind you. Nerves began to rush over your body as you pulled the test from the bag and began to read the instructions.

"Okay, step one, remove the plastic cap and use immediately. Step two, hold the absorbent tip in urine stream for five seconds. Step three, replace cap and lay test flat. Step four, wait 1 to 3 minutes for results." You read, taking deep breath after the mouth full. "Alright, seems simple."

After five tests, constant hand washing and the struggle of just trying to pee on the stick, you were finally done and now is the even more nerve-wracking part, waiting for the results. The three minutes seemed like hours, but it was time, and to be honest, you were scared shit less. If these tests come out positive, what will this mean for both of your careers?

"Bada..." You called out for your girlfriend on the other side of the door. "Come in here now."

"What does it say? Baby, why are you crying?" Bada said as she rushed into the bathroom to see you sitting on the floor with a test in your hands as tears stream down your cheeks.

Bada looked over to the other tests on the counter. Her hands flew over her mouth as she let out gasp. "Positive... it's positive."

Bada sat next to you, wrapping her arms around your body as you sob into her shirt, still gripping to test in your hand. You are pregnant, and there's no going back now. It's not that you don't want children, you do, but not this early and not like this. You wanted to getting married and be settled, no more idol life just you, Bada and your baby living somewhere discreet and outside the public eye.

"What are we gonna do, Bada? What about my career? What about your career? The fans? The company?" You began to play out everything in your head of what would happen if the public found out. All the backlash and more negative comments. "I'm scared, Bada."

"Hey, it's you and I, okay? Don't worry about all of that. If this was not meant to be, then it would have never happened." Bada lifted your head as she wiped your falling tears, gently caressing your cheeks. "It's okay to be scared, baby. This is new for both of us. We're gonna take it one step at a time. Together."

You smiled weakly as you leaned into her touch, nodding in agreeance. "I love you."

"I love you too." Bada said, pulling you into a kiss. "We got this."

"We got this."

°AN:

Ummm... I really hope you enjoy this, and I am sorry for the VERY late response. Enjoy, tho!!! 💙

[zenythycal]

HEY SO I RARELY DO THIS BUT ONE OF MY FRIENDS IS BEING STALKED AND ACCUSED OF HORRIBLE SHIT SO PLEASE READ!

Toyhouse <- Their call out post

Screenshot for those who don't have it and I will also include a transcript in case it's hard to read! (It'll be under the read more!)

Thank you all for taking time and listening to my friend, I know and trust them. I think it's DISGUSTING to make false accusations like this. As a victim of stalking and grooming myself I am sickened by this persons actions and I hope my friend Adder can finally get away from this. Send them love and support for me!

Also do not harass the person. Last thing we need is more stress, just help spread this around.

Transcript for those who cannot read the screenshot:

"EDIT 1 : STOP stalking my account. I am not the one reaching out to you. If I want to warn my friends, I can do so In peace. 

Hi yall. this is directed towards the pressure community mainly, but I do encourage anyone who sees this to steer away quickly as possible. 

before we dive in, i am professionally diagnosed with PTSD (post traumatic stress disorder) and GAD (generalized anxiety disorder) from these events, I relive them almost daily. Back in June, as you all have seen on my bulletins, shorelinesiren, known as JD, Jacob, whatever, made a callout post on me, calling me a pedophile and a groomer. I have cleared my name, but the damage is still there to this day. (as of 9/12/24) I am neither, as I was groomed myself when I was a younger teenager. Its also worth mentioning that I voluntarily when into a psychiatric hospital to get better. Jacob released the callout post while I was still in the hospital, recovering, unable to DEFEND myself. He made the callout post to roughly 3k people, through his now defunct avatar discord server and his also defunct instagram. 

My relationship with jacob was strictly monetary as he used me for money. He managed to get me to spend $300USD in ONE MONTH on his adopts, art, and merchandise on his Etsy store. While Jacob ran his Etsy store, He had stickers made for Palestine, which all profit would go to charities/reliefs/supports. I have never seen a receipt of his donations, In dms or the 2 servers we had.  Since then, he's moved accounts 3 times and deleted his 2 avatar servers. Jacob has shit talked his "closest" friends, his brother, and server members to me. While we were friends we used to shit talk server members, mainly 3 people. Danny, Rose, And Teylu. Jacob had said disgusting things about his so called friends, calling them names, talking about how needy or annoying they were and especially how much Danny and Rose were dick riders. Specifically how Danny would suck up to each admin/mod, and How Rose was annoying, opinionated, and how she would constantly ask for admin/mod privileges. Teylu got the worst of it, as they were described constantly as weird, annoying and a beggar.  As for me, I conformed to fit in with Jacob's group. I always have felt it was never a genuine friendship. I've always had the sneaking suspicion that he talked about me behind my back to his friends, while I wasn't around. Only now I feel I can confirm it, since I have found out he stalks my page, and my other friend's page, as well as their partner's.  (I only recently posted about him again since I found out from a friend that he was using my art without crediting me.)

Jacob has a cult like following. Anyone following him is willing to defend him no matter what. He stalks my instagram account through his admin/mod team. I only know about this because when I posted on my story about him not properly crediting me and essentially saying "Jacob I know you can see this, you need to credit me for my art, even if commissioned" He then deleted the art from one of his character's profile, instead of crediting me.

 After that, I had an EXTREMELY toxic altercation with one of his followers, who I'm assuming has a parasocial relationship with him outside of commissions. I also encourage you to stay away from this user, Mothbone_s, who had dmed me back in June when the original post was made and said ; "You're 19 dude grow tf up you're continuing drama no one else cares about like a fucking child." I responded (huge mistake), calling them a glazer, and got back 3 PARAGRAPHS. Mothbone_s had to say "womp womp your a grown ass adult who thinks harassing a minor so long that said minor is an adult now and doesn't give a fuck about you is embarassing Ghost." cont 1, "No one actually gives a fuck you the way you think, we could actually give less of a fuck if you curled up and died right now because we least wouldn't have to deal with you continuing old shit everyone has moved on from" cont 2. "you aren't hot shit, you ain't scary mf, you're just some internet goon with no job, no life and an unhealthy desire for control and attention. now that your not getting it back your trying to take it back yo again in some miserable attempt to make a statement when all your doing is looking like a fucking idiot" cont. 3 "you ever dm me again i'll tell you straight up about how i actually feel about you, you pathetic piece of shit. go be a creep somewhere else and stop thinks harassing the enemies you made by being a fucking lunatic" and replied to the me telling them to mind their own business like an actual adult. cont 4, "if you were an actual adult you'd grow the fuck up and stop dwelling on shit from June" cont. 5, "like, you're a proshipper, you're a dirty pedophile who enjoys little kids and beastiality" cont. 6, "nothing you say is gonna scare me, bitch you ain't scary. you're a zoophile a pedo and a groomer" CONT. 7, "you ain't the big dog bitch so dont lil sis me". 

I have never interacted with this user before. I don't even remember who they are LOL.  Goes to show how toxic Jacob's fanbase is. Makes me wonder if Mothbone_s is projecting. but anyway, It's important to me that you all stay safe and stay far AWAY from both of these people, so you don't hurt like I have.

Moving onto a different topic, Jacob has also plagiarized names and fanclans. My mutual, Donquixotte, has had their original gator fanclan plagiarized. There was no direct changes, everything was almost identical. From the coloring of characters, down to the design of the body and attributes. everything was the same. Jacob has taken so much from other people, I wouldn't even call it inspiration. 

To the pressure community, as well as JC'S AVATAR community, please please PLEASE, steer away from these individuals. They are severely wrapped up in their own delusions. 

Be safe. 

Adder"

[gvftea]

If you just wanna attack the guys over every thing they do, why the fuck are you a fan? Go find another band to be creepily parasocial with and leave the rest of us to our “problematic” faves. I am so serious about this, either shut the fuck up or just leave.

Despite your months of wailing about Palestine on Twitter you still camped for barricade and I didn’t see ONE of you performative bitches (LOOKING AT YOU SHAY! 😉) on barricade holding up a sign in support of Palestine, asking them to speak up where the band would’ve seen it face-to-face.. why? Because that would’ve diminished your IRL interaction with them and derailed your delusional attempt at a y/n moment. You can hide behind your PFP and Twitter handle but sure as fuck won’t back anything up when there’s a chance to do it face-to-face.. because God forbid Josh read your sign and not give you a fucking rose. 🥀 They never spoke up about Palestine, despite you calling them out for months. You’re still here…

FUCKING LEAVE

They’re still associating and in relationships with people that you bitch and whine and complain about nonstop. People that you have confidently labeled as bad people. Last I checked, you are the company you keep. So obviously, that must speak volumes about the guys’ character. So why continue to support them?

FUCKING LEAVE

Josh hugs and kisses a few fans on barricade and y’all lose your fucking minds, calling him a predator and comparing him to a fucking pedophile. What the fuck is wrong with you people? If you feel that you need to make that comparison, what the fuck are you doing here? How the fuck can you come out with that shit and still be a fan? So he’s being creepy and kissing fans without (what YOU consider to be) proper consent and yet you’re still here supporting him and the rest of the band?? Are you fucking serious? If I felt that any member of a band I supported was sexually assaulting fans (cause sexual assault is what you were describing in your tweets) I would stop supporting them immediately. Not publicly whine about Josh’s actions and how badly they triggered me and made me feel so unsafe in the fandom, but then turn around and still gush about how much I love the band. Be so fucking for real.

FUCKING LEAVE

Now you’re turning on Josh about cultural appropriation (yet again) for including a fans sign in a photo dump. And most of ya’ll are white bitches with no ties to the indigenous community yelping like you were personally victimized by a photo of a sign. At what point will you finally fucking acknowledge that they are not living up to the stupidly lofty ideals you’re holding them to and find yourself a band that aces your purity tests?

JUST FUCKING LEAVE

It’s exhausting watching you attack the band over and over and over again for miniscule crumbs of Internet clout cause you don’t have shit going on in your real life. And let’s be honest, that’s all it is, a performative circle jerk of outrage ya’ll are acting out for each other. Every time one of your self made dramas blows over you initiate a new one within a week cause you can’t seem to survive without something to rage at the band about. I don’t blame the guys for going as far underground as they can when they are on hiatus. They are in an abusive relationship with their alleged “fans”. No matter what they have going on you always find shit to nitpick and attack and bitch about. And if you’re not attacking the members of the band, you’re attacking each other. I’ve never seen any band have such a miserable bunch of cunts for fans. What is it that keeps you around? I genuinely would like to know because it seems like you truly hate the members of the band. They can never do anything right yet you won’t just leave them in peace to the rest of the fans that actually want to support them. I fucking implore you, next time you feel like you want to get on your little soapbox and call out the band for whatever imagined slight you’ve conjured, how about you just cut your losses and walk away from the fandom instead?

[sunnist4rs]

Blare White is super misogynistic… he also supports trump. You know the anti abortion, pro rape guy. I think you may be defining who you love/idolize and what you say you think based on who entertains you the most on social media/YouTube and your personal connections rather than really getting into WHY each view is right or wrong factually/ethically, and aiming to be consistent. To be clear I myself am a radfem and (within that) critical of gender ideology I am not trying to convince you to not criticize gender ideology or to not criticize specific trans identified people. Yes: some people Blaire white and that kind of guy opposes are also fucked up people who do harm. But the enemy of an enemy does not alone make a friend and I encourage you to look with a more critical eye at anyone aligned right wing and against women, whether they are novelties or famous on YouTube or whatever else or not

Among other things remember Blaire white is just a man who calls self woman but hates the other men who call themselves women. His critique of them is typically either copied (without him really understanding) from feminist women, or at other times basically rooted in him saying those other trans women are ugly or don’t pass or haven’t done [insert random shit] “Blaire” thinks makes him a real woman and these other trans women into pretenders. It’s just an egotistical man getting attention and money off of this while still claiming he’s a woman and doing so for sexist (“I pass as feminine so that makes me a woman” = sexist) reasons. This issue that is actually impacting women and girls (a category that doesn’t include him)

Thanks for sending me this ask (and being so civil about it). Before I joined the radfem community (and when I wrote my bio) I was pretty conservative but the more evidence of woman’s oppression I’ve seen, the more leftist I’ve become. This has left me feeling kind of lost because the people like Blair White who I used to turn to for comfort on bad days and to hear what I thought were reasonable political opinions no longer click with me. I don’t resonate with her (I’m gonna use she/her even though I’m he’s a dude because I do have that personal attachment right now so it just feels right) beliefs anymore but distancing myself from her feels wrong because she’s been a part of my life for a while, y’know.

I don’t watch YouTube much so I haven’t seen one of her videos since I became a radfem. But, I do remember how my old community used to act so Ik if I did watch another video of hers I’d be disgusted and disappointed by her behaviour (I almost want to avoid watching her at all so that I can keep pretending I align with her side- also I’m aware this is pretty parasocial, I’ll work on that). While I’ve become more aware of this I’ve continued to defend and preach how good her content is as a way of pretending I do still like her to myself. I knew I was doing this but I didn’t really think about it until now.

I’m pretty good at thinking critically about the media I consume, it’s just something I’ve always done when discovering something new to enjoy. But I think Ive developed a blind spot for people I previously loved as while I agreed with them in the past. Now however, me promoting their ideology is hypocritical at best. I’ve been practicing separatism (that’s not the word I want to use Ik it) more and more in my daily life. I now realise the next step I need to take is starting to distance myself from these people as they’re making me into someone I don’t want to be (hypocrites are one of my biggest red flags).

Thanks again for the ask as it’s genuinely helped me uncover a therapeutic break through lol. Whether or not that was your intent it’s definitely gonna help me be a better feminist and improve my life so thanks.

[nesisamess]

my first impressions of the characters from the twitter post thing that DRDTDev made about the other killing game. First off: I love all of them, and half the cast gives me gender envy. I am continually impressed at DRDTDev’s character designing ability, especially in making them interesting, non-boring designs that still communicate their personality and aren’t too complex or over designed. ugh. love them for it (/platonically and/or parasocially)

Also, this post will be kinda assuming you’ve already read the very little info we have about them. If you haven’t, go here: https://href.li/?https://t.co/muTM8j8MPH

ANYWAYS

First off, here’s an image of the characters!!

Beautiful, right?

…

Just take a few seconds to admire them.

Ok! I’ll be going over some theories that relate to all of the characters, and then character by character, and then at the end a little general reflection.

So, one of the main theories that have been posed is that this killing game takes place before the events of DRDT, which I am like 87% sure of (up 7% from my last post, woo). It makes sense, especially in the context of the other theories regarding the characters. As well as this, it just makes sense timeline-wise.

There is also a theory that every character is somehow connected to someone in the current killing game, which I am still a little unsure of. I can definitely see it for some characters, but we know so little about each of them that it’s really hard to say whether or not that’s true. I will be going over who I think could be connected to who, just in case it does end up being true. However, I think a more likely theory is that a couple of the people involved in this killing game (likely the survivors) are connected to the current one, and exactly how much is up for us to discover.

Ok, on to the characters!

First off!

(I don’t know why, but she’s the only one who’s photo is cropped. oh well)

Pretty!! For the sake of this post, I’ll be calling her Spiral (I will be using the names that @xmicrophonyx came up with!).

My first thought when I saw her (besides the obligatory screeching) was that she gave me teacher vibes? That might be since I already had the context of this story being “about a person who wants to become the perfect teacher”. But outside of that, she definitely looks shy, with her hunched over posture and expression. I do adore her color palette, and the pops of teal add a lot.

In terms of a possible talent/role, I still think she gives teacher-y vibes, whatever that means, although outside of that I would think her talent is something a little more professional, considering her attire being formal (the coat, top, and scarf most of all). So other possibilities could be a secretary, librarian, buisness woman, etc.

Spiral could also be some kind of fancy art critic, or someone who works with the Spurling Foundation, if we need to connect her to the current killing game somehow.

—

Next up!

The boy!!!!

I’m going to be honest with you. I think he’s my favorite. His demeanor, the neon green jacket, the fingerless gloves, the cap, the khaki capri pants, the aura of a 14 year old shoujo protagonist—he is the moment. The fan name for him is Soundwave.

I think he likely deals with music, since the pattern on his shirt reminds me of sound recordings. Specifically, he probably is into the more technical side of music, such as EDM or techno or something like that (I know pretty much nothing about music, so take my word with a grain of salt).

Because of this, I think Soundwave would be connected to J. J also is in a similar sort of technical profession, so I think that maybe he could be someone who ends up working with J in the future/has worked with J or something like that.

There’s one thing with Soundwave that also is present in 2 of the other characters—he looks quite a bit younger than most of the cast. He’s shorter, yes, but his proportions also make him seem younger. However, the DRDTDev specifies that all of the characters present are 18 or above, so it likely doesn’t mean anything. People can just look young, after all.

I think that’s all, but I’m really excited to learn more about this character because he just seems so fun :)

—

Oh boy, let’s talk about them…

Hello there, XF. I will also be trying my best to use all of his pronouns! (Those being he/she/they). I am so happy to have yet another gender-non-conforming character in the general DRDT universe, and it is amazing to see such a wide array of diversity and representation in this cast, as well as the cast of the current killing game. Genuinely, I am just… blown away.

She is also the character which we have the strongest connection to the current killing game/a character from the current killing game, that being Min. Min mentions in her bonus episode that an organization called XF-Ture Tech were the ones to sponsor her for the test to become the Ultimate Student. On XF’s coat is an XF-Ture Logo. As well as this, they have the exact same tie clip that Min has.

PLUS, on top of this, he has the same purple/pink eyes that Min has. That last detail almost made me think they were related, but I don’t necessarily believe so. I mean, they might be, but I’m more inclined to believe that XF is just affiliated with/the leader of XF-Ture. There are A LOT of theories for her (along with a lot of simping ahem), but I won’t be mentioning all of them.

If they are the founder of XF-Ture Tech, I imagine their talent would be something like Ultimate Founder, Ultimate Inventor, Ultimate CEO, or something in that vein. He may not be the founder, however, and instead may just work for XF-Ture Tech. I’m not entirely sure, but I am inclined to believe that she is the founder because of the pink eyes. I have a theory that Min actually wears contacts, and that’s why her eyes look the same as XF’s. I may be totally wrong about this, and I thought that DRDTDev already said they weren’t, but I looked through the QnAs and I couldn’t find anything saying that. Unless it is confirmed somewhere, or it gets confirmed, that’s my theory for now!

As well as this, in the chapter 2 part 1 QnA, DRDTDev mentions that Min’s least favorite color(s) are pink and white together, because it’s “annoying”. Since that is a part of XF’s color palette, that draws an obvious connection between the two of them. If Min has had a lot of interaction with XF, and perceives them as annoying, this could be the reason for that connection. It definitely furthers the theory that Min and XF are connected. I’m pretty sure I barely scratched the surface in terms of what has been theorized about them, so I recommend you check out @accirax @googledetective and the posts they made, as well as any of the posts that are bound to be made by the rest of the DRDT theorists.

—

Him!!!!!!!

For all of you who don’t know, this character uses he/him pronouns and I absolutely love him for that :,) I am truly just… flabbergasted at how amazing DRDTDev continues to be in adding representation to their stories, and not only that, but doing such a good job of it.

Anyways! I will be calling him Dandelion after the dandelion in his hair.

As far as what we can deduce based on his outfit and demeanor: obviously this is a character who messes around with gender presentation (we stan) and doesn’t fall into the rigid categories that many cultures try to enforce. He also looks somewhat naive, and young (though all of these characters are ~18, of course). I also definitely don’t think his talent is something physically demanding, since he seems pretty skinny, and his clothes don’t look like they would be good for running around in.

However, this character has a few things that might key us in to what his talent might be. The first of which is his clothing, since my first thought on seeing it was that it looked trendy, or like something an influencer would wear. In a way that kind of juxtaposes their outfit, however, he has a dandelion in his hair, through the band keeping it up. It is very different from the rest of his color palette, and dandelions are usually considered ‘weeds’, which makes me think that Dandelion’s talent is instead something plant-based.

Since that dandelion is just so different from the rest of his outfit, I believe the latter is true, and that his talent is something like the Ultimate Botanist.

In terms of characters he might be connected to, my first thought was Levi. They both are fashionable, and if my previous thought of Bunny being an influencer or something of the like, it makes sense for Levi to know them somehow. Still, it’s a shaky theory.

—

I love asymmetrical designs, and the green/blue hair strand balances out his hair really well. I do also really like the strap on his leg, it gives him a slightly edgier look. I will be calling him “Scale” for convenience (I had names for each of these characters before someone came up with better ones, but @pastelclownkitty and I actually had the same idea for this guy!).

So, firsts things first: I do not think he is Elliot Cuevas. I saw this theory, considered it, and have come to the conclusion it doesn’t make sense (at least to me. if this is one of your theories that’s totally fine!). Elliot is described, by DRDTDev in the chapter 2 part 1 QnA, as having looked “shockingly similar” to how Charles looks now. I think the comparison is vague at best, not shocking. They do both have purple hair and dark skin, but both shades of those things are darker for Scale.

In terms of talent, the pattern of his shirt has been pointed out, and I agree that it probably relates to his talent. In fact, Scale somewhat reminds me of an anglerfish, with that bright green in his eyes and that strand of hair. I don’t know, I think I’m just saying things at this point.

Due to the mentioned factors above, I believe his talent is related to fishing or swimming, something like the Ultimate Angler. I can’t discern his build from under his clothing, but he looks a little skinny to be the Ultimate Swimming Pro or anything like that.

Ok. I’m sorry, but he looks a little… Fishy (don’t mind the pun). Maybe it’s how calm he is, or his mouth, but he reminds me of Rantaro somewhat. I love his design, though, and I think his color palette is supremely cool. I also like how his hair highlight is very faintly rainbow. It reminds me of how when you look at water a certain way, it shows a rainbow.

—

Our protag!! Or, well, Teacher.

Now, I’m pretty sure almost everyone agrees that this character is the Ultimate Teacher, or something of the like. He also has an ID card which says:

This ID card is the property of Hope’s Peak Academy. Use of this ID card by any person other than the rightful holder is prohibited. Report lost or stolen ID cards by contacted 555-483-7367.

(Thank you to @weightedblankettt for the blurry text translation!)

Now, numbers starting with 555 are used for fictional phone numbers, specifically in North America, which is how we’re able to tell that this killing game’s participants probably come from the same Hope’s Peak that the participants of the current killing game are from. Other than that, it doesn’t really tell us much, other than our Protag has an ID card for Hope’s Peak. This leads us to believe that he may be staff, however DRDTDev confirms that these are 11 students.

One thing, though, that I think may be something…

What if Teacher is, instead of just a student, a student teacher? Basically, what if he is someone who comes in to help the actual teachers with the class load and such, but isn’t a classmate of the rest of the Ultimates. Either that, or he’s just a student who carries around his ID card from a lanyard. Like a weirdo (/j).

Now: The Mai thing. Many people think that Teacher may be a relative of Mai, or connected to her in some way, due to the red in his hair, on his shoes, and on the inside of his coat. However, the red used with his colors is very different from Mai’s red. Another theory to why he might be related to Mai is because his eyes are always closed in all the art we’ve seen of him, so maybe he’s related to one of the cast and DRDTDev is keeping his eyes closed to not spoil who. I do believe this part, just not with Mai.

Okay well, here my theory goes:

Teacher is the older brother of Teruko. Teruko mentions in chapter 1 episode 4 that she has an older brother, but they were separated when she was 5. She likely doesn’t remember much about him at all (and I suspect that he was the one who Teruko says she “couldn’t remember the face” of as well). Although they don’t have the same hair color, they do have a very similar skin color, and the closed-eye thing could be just as true with Teruko as with Mai. As well as this, most characters in all of DRDT have a gradient on their eyelashes. 3 characters who don’t? Mai, Teruko, and now Teacher.

Imma be honest, it’s a bit of a crack theory, but I kinda like it, and think it’s interesting. I’m pretty sure I’m going to be the only one to believe this haha

Oh wait! I almost forgot! The whole thing on him being the “Teacher” referenced in secret text. I don’t have much to say on that except that yeah, that’s probably true. Maybe. Who knows.

—

Sigh, I love men.

I’ll be calling this dude Mint, which I know is separate from the names that @xmicrophonyx came up with, but… I think it’s cute, so. First off, his design is great, yada yada, and I love his little cropped jacket. Very cute.

I definitely think his design is pretty sporty, especially with the layers of the undershirt, over shirt, and jacket, along with the coat around his waist. My first thought for him is that he does some kind of racing, either with cars or motorcycles, because that’s what his jacket reminds me of. Race car drivers do wear gloves, so this would make sense for that. I imagine this isn’t his actual racing clothes, instead just casual clothes, but there are still elements of his racing clothes in there. Along with this, it makes sense that he’d have his hair tied back so then he could fit it under his helmet and it wouldn’t get in his face too much (although I suspect his ponytail is too high to fit under a helmet. Oh well, he might wear it lower on race days).

His personality seems like it would fit that sort of thing as well, since he looks serious and somewhat aggressive. He also has those little marks under his eyes. I’m not entirely sure what they’re for, but I’m sure I could connect it back somehow if I wasn’t working on this post for like 3 hours and had any energy whatsoever to do research into it (I just got home from a very long car ride, so keep in mind I am still somewhat delirious). Idk. Maybe he just wanted to look pretty/intimidating/whatever so he put markings under his eyes.

—

A Child?!? Well, no, probably not, but she does look very, very young. Perhaps it’s the fact she’s right next to Teacher, who I’m pretty sure is the tallest out of the cast? Maybe it’s also the fact that the color that dominates her design is pink, and her complimentary color is baby blue.

So, her design is pretty clearly inspired by sheep/rams, since her pupil is the same shape as them, her braids are coiled up similarly to ram horns, and the bottom of her coat/dress looks like sheep wool. The bell on her bow also looks like the pupil of a sheep, too. I actually had a phase of drawing people with that type of pupil, too, because I thought it looked so interesting and unique. I still think characters with those kind of eyes are pretty cool.

Since her design looks so much like a sheep/ram, you would think that was involved in her talent, however in her eye you can see a little needle. That makes me think she’s a tailor or seamstress or something like that. Perhaps, since wool is a big material used for fabric, she cares for sheep and then makes fabric out of their wool, or something in that vein.

She seems pretty peppy and happy, so I assume she would take on an Eden-esque role in this killing game (Though, I assume, she is actually far different, and likely more naive than Eden is).

—

Our girl Fire! She is hot, amiright? (Cue the applause). I don’t know what came over me, with that pun. Maybe the spirit of Whit or something.

But no, seriously, she is certainly a… very attractive woman. The snakebite piercings, eyebrow piercings, nose piercings, and bellybutton piercing? Oh my. A win for the girlkissers. A win indeed.

She certainly gives aggressive energy, like she would fight you (and win, obviously. It wouldn’t even be a competition). She looks like she could take Xander. Also!! I really like her teeth, because one of my teeth stick out like that too. I’m pretty sure it’s the one in the exact same spot as her, just mirrored. I’ve always kind of liked it.

Now, her outfit is definitely very sporty, though I’m unsure of which sport exactly. Her abs and chunky gloves give the vibe of something like a boxer or weightlifter, but she also has chaps on. I’m truly unsure if the chaps are just decorative or if she actually does ride horses (I want to say they’re just decorative because white chaps? Not a good idea. No white clothes are really a good idea when you ride horses a lot. Especially if the horses are unruly lol). Plus, she has a lot of skin exposed, and I can say from experience that flies and bugs are a bitch, and there are a lot when horses are involved.

I also just wanted to point out that Fire and Ice (her brother, who I’ll be talking about next) have eyes that are half brown and half grey, and they each have a color palette of either brown or grey and another color (the extra colors are also complimentary). I personally believe this is because the siblings/twins are very different, and likely don’t get along too well, but that’s just a theory. A DRDT theory. I’m mentally unwell, I think.

[mecachrome]

loll thank u for confirming it to me re:kpoppie fan past!!! i think i remember it was you (?) who said aomething about landoscar coworkerisms and i was like EXACTLY! this is what makes them interesting to me. i get people who don’t really like 814 bc on the surface they are just teammates who have content together thus easier to ship but at the same time, that’s the beauty in them isn’t it <33 and lando’s comment about being contractually obligated to hang out together was Romance to me actually bc >coworkership.

alsooo once again i would just like 2 say i love your metas/analysis cause i think yours is such a fun pov to read from!! not sure if this is bcs of our commonality in fandom history but it’s truly like, a different perspective than if you were like on the 1d > f1 rpf pipeline or just a general sports rpf background. i’m not sure what makes kpop so unique in this ejduksdj maybe perhaps bcs we spend so much time dissecting idolsona and manufactured content or whatever 🙂 anyways! love your work and your gifs 💘💘💘 u are a godsend for the fandom!!

yesss anon coworkershipping is literally so important and real 2 me!!! ofc people are entitled to their own opinions and preferences and i will never force my silly little ships onto anyone but admittedly i am 100% the type of guy who thinks that sometimes Things that aren't romance are romance and sometimes Things that aren't sex are sex. so that's a me problem HKLSDFH

i think the ability to be self-aware about your coworkerisms and find humor in it or even show fondness for it is really sweet... like to me it's meaningful that oscar followed lando's career for so long and clearly rates him and just sincerely objectively LOVES being his teammate and is satisfied with that alone because again "i'll have you in whichever way you'll have me" is lesbianism to some. it's also interesting when they're regarded as a pr bait ship especially considering how much mclaren like... Don't bait them to us that much anymore and how simple and stripped bare the content they post nowadays is? i think there's just a general conflation of [shares hobbies off-track] + [likes each other as people] in that regard...

fandom history is definitely so interesting, i've been in 132402382834 fandoms so i reflect on this a lot !!! i got into hockey like 10 years ago so i think just wrt like, the sporting aspect of f1 then i view it through that lens primarily (and hockey is a sport that's a lot just like... less Sympathetic to individual athletes because it's very explicitly about systems which i think is why i'm less like. parasocially invested in flop careers halsdfh), but when it comes to the celebrity consumption and sheer global influence of f1 then there are genuinely a lot of parallels to k-pop, which adds an interesting dimension. the thing about many other sports/esports/etc. fandoms is that not all of them have the same tenuous 4th wall + measure of exclusivity that f1's genz marketability propels itself off, which i think is where this accusation of 1d/k-popification comes from because it's a less familiar space in quite a few sports. but there's a lot of nuance there of course...

so random but i actually had this discussion with someone earlier where i was like my "type" in k-pop is always pathetic gayboys with horrible personalities alsfdkhalksdfh but in sports i like really adjusted normie boring straightguys (my 2 favorite hockey players are also very much Polite Cats who have cute nicknames hehe :3c) so it's interesting how despite certain fandom similarities there are many cultural nuances that influence our investment.

also idk if you're familiar with bbb but i thought i'd share the hockey version my friend made of it :') it's all quite interesting to me because hockey is like, MUCH more accessible as a fandom product just because of how many players major sports leagues have and the fact that it's not as successful in north america as any other league save mls (lol) (actually idk if this is still true with messi we might fr be flops now), so you can spend $20 to go to a game in some markets and see your favorite player up close during warmups whereas that... is not possible in f1. there's just a lot of considerations for how personas are built up & managed and the space f1 occupies in that analysis !!!!!!!! but i don't want to talk your ear off too much aklsdfhldfh thank you so much for your kind words! 🥺💕

[personthattoleratesme]

So, you want to study new phannies?

well, same, i don't know what happened to me either but let me try to explain, you might find it amusing

you see, I'm 19 now, so back when they first were active i wasn't enough chronically online to be obsessed with any internet personality. (for reference, i was five when dan posted his first video.)

then covid and lockdowns happened and through some twists and turns i was catapulted deep into the 1D fandom, more specifically the larry portion of it. it was incredibly toxic and unhealthy, but it was also so much fun and taught me a lot about fandom and shipping culture. i eventually moved on into much healthier fandom spaces and honestly thought (and hoped) i was over being a fan of Real Living Human Beings.

now, i had obviously heard of dan and phil before but never watched any of their videos. so when they announced the return of dapg and everyone here freaked out about it i thought, eh, might as well take a look.

i don't know what it was about them, their dynamic, the casual happy queerness, the way they love and care for each other, their little stupid quirks, dan's way with words, but it pulled me in so damn quickly. so far i have no regrets, watching them is so nice and comforting.

however it also felt so intoxicatingly familiar to when i first got into larry, which scared me at first because i did not want to go back to anything like that time of my life. by now i have realised that this is different. it feels like a better version of whatever i had going on back then, because this time there is no need for wild speculations and intrusive theorising. them being themselves and sharing what they want to share is more than enough. maybe it's just hopeful thinking but i feel like it is actually possible to have a healthy parasocial relationship with them.

i might have missed it just a teeny tiny bit.

also!!! i feel like i picked the exact right time for this new obsession because there's so much going on, it's so fun and i amm excited for the future!

dunno if the tumblr phandom is the right place for me, right now i am pretty content with just lurking and watching you guys do your thing

with love,

a new phannie

first of all i want to say welcome new phannie! i hope you enjoy and benefit from the enrichment of our little corner of the internet.

i really enjoyed reading your story. as soon as i read larry i had a visceral full-body reaction ngl, i'm so sorry you went through that.

you have really chosen an excellent time to become a phannie. the toxicity is mostly out of the fandom, dnp are in control of the narrative now, and we don't have to deal with all the phan proof shit anymore.

it gives me so much joy that nowadays their queer happiness can be a factor in becoming a fan of theirs. there's just something so special about how after everything they've been through - and everything we've been through as phandom - that there is now this wonderfully queer and happy space that can feel safe and inviting for young queer people.

i really hope that this parasocial relationship with them will turn out to be what you're looking for. when i was a teenager they helped me through so much, and now that we're all older and have been able to grow as people i think we genuinely have a very good and healthy parasocial relationship with them as a fandom.

thank you so much for your sharing your story, i genuinely find it so fascinating to learn about 2023 phannies.

you're totally welcome to lurk here for as long as you want. i was a lurker for a long time cause phannie tumblr kind of scared me. i used to only exist in the anon asks of other users and feel free to do the same.

now i want to know: what was your first dnp video?

[brisquad-unit-4402]

hello from 4402

my name is unit 4402 but all my friends call me 4402. i don't like to take my tactical gear off but if taichou asked. well.

my oshi is sonny brisko but i am also american so i'm not really into watching taichou live at 5 am. so i'm also a comfydant, quilldren, and vantacrew, but let’s be real, i’m a vezcrewneer. krisis and noctyx are my favorite units

yeah i'll write some nijisanji x readers here are my rules please read them before requesting

last updated 4/5/24: clarified wording. added my twitter link. fixed typos. changed wording to include all vtubers i write for, not just niji en

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: .☽ . :☆ﾟ. ───

important rules

do not crosspost or copy my works without my permission. unit 4402 will only post from my ao3, twitter and this tumblr, please ask me if you can crosspost my works. this includes translations.

do not feed my work to ai. this is plagiarism. i have an extended statement about ai policies here.

don't be weird. do not act unhealthily parasocial or obsessive about the livers on my blog. please make sure to treat me, the rest of the readers, and the livers with respect. additionally, homophobia, racism, transphobia and other forms of discrimination/bigotry will not be tolerated whatsoever.

i will only write about liver characters, and not the people behind the livers. i will not be writing or discussing the livers irl, including past lives, discourse, etc.

this page is for currently active livers only. do not request graduated livers, their future or past lives. do not request livers that are not currently active. i support the livers' choices to move on and their privacy outside of their career, and there are plenty of other lovely blogs that write for graduated livers. here is a statement on my mysta rias fics and requests after his graduation.

don't be messy. this blog is for fun and i want to keep a positive atmosphere without any drama. please do not intentionally bring up any topics that may cause infighting, discourse, etc within the community.

some words about nsfw. because of my own boundaries, please do not request nsfw prompts. each nsfw post will have a read more, and is intended for 18+ only. i am an adult and will be blocking minors that interact with nsfw posts

disobeying any of the above rules will result in your asks/messages being deleted and getting blocked.

.　 . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆

other things

i will always write reader as gender neutral, and avoid pronouns if i can but if i must then i'll always use they/them. please do not request a specific gender/pronouns for reader.

all of my romantic posts about uki are written with his sexuality in mind. i will not write reader as female-coded in romantic posts about him. this is my one exception to the above gender neutral rule but i intend for his entries to be nblm-friendly just as much as mlm

i will refer to you/mc as Reader because i think using (y/n) is clunky af

please only request when my ask box is open

you may use my askbox just to brainrot instead of asking for a request

for nsfw posts: please assume that every character in the post has given consent. clicking the read more means you also consent to reading it. if there's a role/occupation kink such as teacher/student, etc, please assume that everyone involved is of legal age and roleplaying

if you need a certain content warning or tag blacklisted, please send me a message or ask so i can edit some tags and make posts more accommodating

.　 . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆

i can write:

fluff

angst

comedy

gore

hurt/comfort

brainrot

headcanons

crack/crack treated seriously

polyamory

platonic

romantic

queerplatonic

alternative universes

alters/alter egos (lucy kaneshiro, box akuma, etc)

liver characters as streamers (for example, i will write about shu being a sorcerer that also streams, but not the irl person behind shu yamino.)

don't get your hopes up but i might write these:

yandere

suggestive themes

nsfw (do not request)

whatever the fuck legatus 505's worldbuilding has going on, i don't think i totally get it but i sure can bluff!

i will block anyone who asks for:

rape/noncon/dubcon

pedophilia/shota/loli

abuse

bigotry/discrimination

unsanitary/excretory kink

i will not write:

irl livers

graduated/terminated livers

livers that are not listed below

ocs

uki with female reader/fem-coded reader

in-depth illness/disorders/conditions

i reserve the right to privately delete any requests that make me uncomfortable without announcement. thank you for understanding

.　 . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆

i will write for: all currently active members of NIJISANJI EN, HOLOSTARS TEMPUS AND ARMIS, and FIRST STAGE PRODUCTION AVALLUM

.　 . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆

[solradguy]

I have sent many asks to you before filled with honest yet corny-as-hell sentimental bullshit about how much your blog, and you by extension, means to me— even if we don’t even really know each other. But if this isn’t a better time to actually buckle down and give you a proper “thank you,” than I don’t know what is.

I found your blog a while back, sometime early last summer if I remember correctly, through your Guilty Gear scans. It was around the time I first started actively hunting down whatever remnants of a Guilty Gear fandom were scattered across the internet, and luckily I hit the jackpot with Tumblr (amongst other sites.) God bless whatever made you make this blog, cause the things it has done for me since then have been tremendous. From small things like your discussions about music and your random posts about vintage technology that inevitably prompt me to do deep-dives on the subject, or bigger things like your entire translation or scanning projects that open me to an entire new world of Guilty Gear media, your blog has taught me about so many new things that have molded me into the person I am today, and suffice to say, I’m proud of that person. You have introduced me to new singers, bands, books, movies, games, shows; so many goddamn things and the majority of them have turned out to be things I simply enamor. Beyond that, your art has helped me improve on my own art and has inspired me to make so much more work and work even harder. Plus, you also brought back my obsession with dragons! I used to be enthralled by dragons; collecting paintings, statues, plushies, books, you name it and I probably have it. And just to like them once more due to my exposure with the content you churn out (wether original or reblogged) is something I can also say I am grateful for. Even just ranting about personal interests in your asks or asking if you perhaps enjoy the same things that I do is something that makes me happy.

I don’t want to make you uncomfortable by saying this, but I seriously do see you as a sort of “big brother” figure in my life. It’s a parasocial relationship, sure, but I have found solitude and comfort in your blog, and even a sort of aspiration to be like you. Either way, the truth is your blog has helped me so much this year and has brought me so much more happiness than what I had before. You have seriously helped me become a better person, better in loving myself and finding something to love in the world around me as well.

So, thank you. Thank you for this blog and for everything you post on here. Thank you, and happy new years. I hope next year gives you nothing but unadulterated love. You deserve it.

Ok so, for an uncountable amount of times this has happened now, I typed a really lengthy reply to this and then cut a section of text to move it and Tumblr decided that meant "delete the whole post except the cut text and then close the post editor, deleting everything forever." It is 3:30am. I'm going to summarize what I wrote as I type it for the second time. The last two paragraphs are the only sections from the first draft that got saved.

--

First off, I apologize for taking so long to reply to this. Your message is extremely heartfelt and sincere and, when I got it (around noon), I wanted to think on it for a little and reread it a few times before replying.

I'm... not great... at accepting compliments. For a lot of my life I've been picked on for my physical appearance and interests so I learned how to take advantage of my size and how to project a pissed off aura to get people to leave me alone. It works very well. Online that doesn't work, and I wouldn't want it to, but offline I think I can be kind of a grumpy asshole. I try really hard to only appear to be that way. After making kids/babies cry just from being in the same space as them though, it can be difficult to think otherwise. I'm not used to people being this kind to me, let alone even admiring or looking up to me.

But the online format is nice; people just see me as an icon and if they don't like my posts/interests they can close the tab or filter it instead of making it my problem. Being able to talk about whatever on here and finding other people that also think it's interesting has helped me a lot too. Before getting into Guilty Gear around August 2021, this blog was mostly just an art reference blog with a very, very, small amount of personal posts scattered in-between when it was something I wanted to archive (like when I started HRT).

I started doing scans because I wanted to send a specific illustration to someone but could only find it in a low resolution. Since I had the GGX '07 art book and a scanner, I figured I might as well just scan it myself and it all sort of snowballed from there. The GG community has been incredibly motivating and I don't see myself quitting doing these scans/translations until there's nothing left to scanlate. Guilty Gear has done so much for me and I love the games and its setting probably more than any other series I've ever been into.

Know that I really, truly, appreciate you sending me this message. I have a little folder of nice messages like yours that I keep to look through on bad days. They genuinely mean a lot to me.

It's such an honor that the things I've posted about have inspired you and lead you to new interests, too, and I hope that I can keep motivating and inspiring you. 2023's gonna be a good year, I think, and I hope you get some of that unadulterated love too.

[pinkseas]

[parasocial bestie] you still did progress anyhow and das really really good!!! focus on ur trip the attention might mess up da writing vibe and thought process tho i trust 10000000% on ur gigantic shiny brain what you do on ur writing <333333

ALSO WHAT BREAKUP THERES A??? NO YOU DID NOT TALK ABOUT IT HERE JUST ZHONGVEN RECENTLY 😭😭😭😭 pls elaborate please dump it all on me i am sitting i am preparing the Tea i am Sipping for the oncoming angst silly whatever i am expecting and the piping hot tea stays no matter what reaction LETS GOOOO 🍵🔥

SCREAMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM OMG THANK GOSH I DIDNT TALK ABOUT IT OKAY OKAY SO.

im so excited omgggggg also good morning !!!!!!! :DDD <33333

okay SO. this is actually basically just an idea i initially had for a Different piece of media taken and recycled.

xiaolumi. modern au. lumine and aether move to xiao's town and start at his school when they're like 13 or 14.

aether befriends half of their year in half the day. lumine is quieter, sticks closer to those who are the same. scara, xiao <- im absolutely not biased in any way. aether is chatty but quiet once you get to know him, lumine is quiet but chatty once you get to know her.

she and xiao share loads of classes and work well together and very much want to be closer to each other but dont exactly know how, there's this sort of tension there that neither of them can figure out to save their lives. they're still very close, just. definitely not as much as they could be. and they endure CONSTANT teasing through their school years from friends and family alike about them liking each other/having crushes on each other/"so when's the wedding?" type stuff. people will try to get them together and they just kind of awkwardly laugh it off and dont really know what to do about it. they don't like each other like that. do they?

its never been a question of whether or not they love each other. never. of course they do. but in college they make new friends, and those new friends not ONLY assume they're together from the very start but also jump right in on the teasing after learning that they're not and they finally think okay. fuck it. lets just try dating.

it lasts... a week? two weeks? three? they've never, ever felt further apart from one another. it's strange and weird and they do not like it, even with all the congratulating and claps on the back and celebration that its "finally" happened.

they break up. they make it very clear to all of their friends that they've broken up. and they're scared !! they're scared. they've been each other's closest friend for years now. what they had worked so well for both of them and now they feel theyve ruined it and they're so scared that it's gone for good.

but the breakup is a huge weight off their shoulders. there's a little bit of distance until one day lumine makes a joke about it and suddenly they fall back into rhythm like nothing ever happened. more jokes about the breakup and about each other being shitty partners are integrated right into their vocubulary, and suddenly, somehow, they're closer than ever before. that tension that'd always been between them seems to vanish, they become so COMFORTABLE with each other in a way they weren't quite able to achieve beforehand

venti is probably a pretty big part of it. i am so ready to shove the aroace agenda onto everyone. they meet him in college and he's friendly and carefree and kind and he befriends them both pretty easily, is one of the few who never teases. he does ask, after the fact, about the breakup and how it felt-- but hes respectful and he doesnt come at it from a romantic standpoint and he helps one of them (i havent really decided but Probably xiao) work through a lot of those feelings and what they mean.

lumine and aether end up having a pretty serious conversation about it. lumine has always, always known that she loves xiao, that she's in love with xiao. that hasn't changed. its just... not that kind of love. aether listens. he helps her to better understand, and he starts to understand, too.

"lumine. all that matters to me is that youre happy. are you happy?" and she is. she really, really is.

lumine and xiao do talk about it eventually, too. lumine asks xiao if he loves her. not because she wants or expects to hear a yes, just because she wants to know. wants to understand his feelings, too. and he describes it-- the depth of his care, how important she is to him, describes exactly how he feels and does not once use the word love to do so. he doesnt really know if its love. he doesnt know if any of it is. and lumine tells him that that's okay. that it doesnt have to be love. they're on the same page, they understand, that's what matters.

the Biggest Focus if i were to write it would be that huge comfort and the weight off their shoulders afterwards. the characters i first had this thought for were slightly younger teenagers, one with a huge crush on the other thats so intense they barely manage to befriend them out of shyness, and the thought was that they'd finally date, it would suck, theyd break up, and suddenly without all the perceived romantic feelings in the way there'd be nothing stopping them from being besties. i do think it works a little better with that and in theory i could change this around so that xiao and lumine meet later on and both have ""crushes"" on each other and dont know each other super well before getting together? i actually do kind of like that thought now. fawk. erm. ill Probably end up doing that if i ever do this :sob:

BUT ANYWAYS yeah that's the whole idea/premise smile. breakup fic my <3333333

[goodsgraces]

well , well , well . . . if it isn't my platonic soulmate subscribing to 𝗢𝗟𝗗 𝗛𝗔𝗚 𝗟𝗜𝗧𝗘™️ . there are fig newtons and lukewarm sugar - free cranberry juice waiting for you in the lobby ! @eyelessdoll

[ picture : me channeling my inner heath ledger!joker during his manic / homoerotic monologue to christian bale's batman to tell you that you complete me and i simply am incomplete without you ] .

i say this all the time but it's a feat to picture me living in a world where our friendship would cease to exist . so much so , i've fully convinced myself we would have found each other in some other obscure but beautifully fated way — perhaps in the replies of a tweet discussing josh o'connor's freckles , the comments of ethel cain's tiktok livestreams or as two feral cats who like to weave their tails together when they walk . i've been in awe of you from the very first time we met ( before we even spoke a word to one another , technically . . . but you know the story so i'll spare you ! ) and you've continued to leave me awestruck and inspired ever since . not only have you turned this old hag into a semi - cultured and retired cinephile , you've shown me what it means to be a true friend even from hundreds of miles away . it's an absolute honor to be in your life and it's an even bigger honor that whatever form of a higher power runs my life's path decided that i was lucky enough to not only be in your orbit but earn a best friend that understands me so wholly . being in the world is a lot less terrifying when you have someone like you by my side , just a few taps away on my phone . you've brightened my darkest days and i genuinely can't envision who i'd be or how i'd cope without you if i wasn't blessed with our existences intertwining seamlessly years ago .

here's to the blood offering i'm willing to give so that we can see ethel cain in september — not only so we can sob to a house in nebraska together but so i can give you a hug that would make up for being long distance for what's felt like a small eternity . i love you and i hope you can feel it every single day that i'm alive and living in your phone . here's to wheelchair races around the nursing home , more disgusting things said about our parasocial boyfriends in our discord server and to an unconditional love that has yet to wane in the slightest . happy golden birthday to my better half . here's to another year of jamdice brainrot . 🎀

[letterstopedrito]

#14

Hi Pedro,

I know I literally just talked about how weird parasocial relationships are, so this letter is gonna be ironic.

I romanticize the fuck out of the idea of being of with you.

We could dance in your kitchen to Etta James and Fleetwood Mac and ABBA.

I'd cook for you because I love to cook. Food is one of the ways I show my love to people. I'd learn to make your favorite Chilean dishes, begging you to be honest with me if they weren't quite right.

I'd go pick up our Starbucks orders (your iced espresso abomination and my iced dirty chai latte + vanilla).

I'd run lines with you and you would out right laugh at my horrible acting skills.

I could come with you to Calgary while you're filming TLOU, if you wanted me to. I have a work from home job that I'd keep (even though you would make more from one episode of your show than I'll make in 5 years) So it would be easy for me to come along.

We'd curl up together on the couch, wine in hand, to watch The Shining or Evil Dead or Rambo: First Blood. I grew up on those movies and they mean the world to me. You love them as much as I do.

I'd travel with you to Italy or France between projects and we'd eat incredible food and go to museums and make love in picturesque hotels.

We'd talk each other's ears off about the last book we each read. Describing how this or that quote hit us bone deep and why. Describing the way the author chose to portray a certain scene and why it was the right or wrong choice.

We'd talk about Toni Morrison and James Baldwin and Audre Lorde. I'd introduce you to my favorite fantasy novels and you'd introduce me to your favorite books too.

You'd read Pablo Neruda to me in Spanish, since I only know him in English. That translation from Romeo and Juliet would melt me every single time. The way your voice would rumble deep in your chest as you recite the lines.

I'd learn Spanish for you, and for me. I would want to be able to talk to you and your whole family in your own language.

We would sing along to our favorite songs in the car, loudly and poorly. Prince, Lana Del Rey, Taylor Swift, The Police, ABBA, The Mamas and The Papas, whatever we felt like that day.

I'd tease you about the heart in your patchy beard, and you'd tease me about how grumpy I am in the morning.

I'd run my fingers through your gorgeous curls while you laid in my lap, telling me about your day.

I'd massage your back at night before bed, knowing how hard the full day on your feet is hitting you.

We would have a couple dogs who love to cuddle as much as we do.

We would never have screaming, angry fights. If we hurt each other, we would talk about it, work it out. And then you'd wrap me up in your arms, pulling me against your broad chest, and kiss my forehead softly.

We would talk about politics, rarely if ever arguing about it, just discussing why we're both so angry about the state of the world right now and what we could do to help fix it.

I've never desired to be famous, at least not in a way where people recognize me on the street. So it would be scary, being with you, but you would make me feel safe and protected.

----

I know I'm being ridiculous. I literally don't know you. I have no idea if you'd do any of that with a partner. I have no idea if you'd like me as a person or a friend, much less as a girlfriend. I have no idea if I'd like you. The idea of you is really comforting to me, though. The times when I'm imaging this relationship with you are when I get hit with a powerful sense that I'm not where I'm supposed to be.

When I'm driving down the road, blasting music, no one in my passenger seat, no one singing along with me. When I'm lying in bed at night, staring at the ceiling, listening to my husband sleep beside me, 2 full feet of mattress between us. When my girlfriend locks me out of her room, refusing to respond to my pleas to just talk to me. When it hits me that neither of my partners have touched me in weeks, sometimes months, and I'm desperate for real affection -- beyond a chaste kiss or a lingering hug. When I'm watching a movie and my partners are chatting away on one end of the sofa, my girlfriend watching tik tok, and I can't hear the fucking movie over them. When I suggest going on a trip and my husband says he can't take off work and my girlfriend can't afford it.

God I feel trapped. I wonder, sometimes, if being poly isn't actually right for me. I'm fully capable of loving two people at the same time, but I'm having trouble sharing. The funny thing is that I don't want to take my husband back from our partner or run away with her myself. I want them to leave me. They seem better suited for each other than I am for either of them. I'm so stupid for getting married at 22. I don't know what fucking possessed me to do that.

I'm coming to terms with the fact that I deluded myself into thinking I could be happy with someone who doesn't doesn't feel love in a passionate way. I let him convince me that adults don't love each other like the love poems say they do. That passion and lust are for teenagers. I know it's not supposed to be all desperate passion all the time, but just once I want this man to look at me like I'm beautiful. To make me feel like he wants me and not like he's fulfilling an obligation every time he touches me. I want him to express some level of lust for me beyond saying "titties!" when he sees me topless. And I'm pretty sure my girlfriend isn't even remotely attracted to me, though I'd never get her to admit it.

I think you, dear Pedro, have an inherent sexiness and charm to you that makes me think you'd give me what I've been yearning for. You'd walk up behind me while I'm cooking and kiss my cheek, wrapping your arms around my waist and pulling me against you. You wouldn't push me away when I kiss your neck, whe. I run my hands down your chest, your stomach, further... You would sit next to me on the couch and pull me close to you, instead of going to the other end by yourself. The you in my head is remarkably similar to the husband I have now, actually, except that you want me. You show me you want me. I know you're nearly 48 years old, so I'm probably completely fucking wrong. In all likelihood, you're probably well past the years of waking up and seeking out your partner first thing in the morning with soft kisses and teasing hands and a burning need. But it's fun to imagine and it's getting me through the goddamn day at this point, so... yeah.

Thank you, imaginary Pedro, for being the partner of my daydreams,

G.

[mcdonaldsnumberone]

나야 나!

produce 101/idol au hcs

these r really rudimentary thoughts so . do what u will with them

rin does Not give a fuck about fanservice. he’s the type of edgy contestant that stares at the camera and goes “watch me,” and his fans eat that shit up.

producers will be BEGGING this boy to smile and do some finger hearts at the camera, and he grimaces instead saying smth like “why do i need cheap tricks to show my skill as an entertainer?” MF UR ON AN IDOL SURVIVAL SHOW

otoya, on the other hand, lives to suck up to his fans. always stops in the middle of going from place to place to sign people’s banners, phones, fans, etc… it takes him forever to get from one place to another because of that

he also strikes me as the kind of guy who has all the tea abt everyone in the idol industry?? if u ever upset him, you better pray that otoya doesn’t call up blue lock’s version of dispatch the moment he gets a second alone. bllk! dispatch wld be out of business if it wasnt for him feeding them crumbs of idol drama 💀

bachira is the idol that’s constantly spamming social media. it’ll be 3 am in the morning, and everyone’s notifications are going ham because he’s posting shit like “my guts are baja blasting 🤪🤪🤪” while going through his post-taco bell poop.

at the same time though, he’s probably the one that’s the most “genuine” on camera? he does whatever he wants, so he doesn’t feel a need to fake a parasocial relationship with fans or craft a work persona. this is both a managerial nightmare and a dream-come-true, but we fuck w it here

i also think bachira wld be a dancer btw

nagi livestreams all his gaming sessions. sometimes he’ll set up an among us room to play with his fans (cough nct taeyong cough). he falls asleep all the time whenever he isn’t actively performing, so fans will sometimes play “where’s waldo” with nagi whenever another member is filming stuff backstage.

he’s also RIPPED so like people will sometimes ask him to show his abs and he’ll be like :X before yanking his shirt up. he doesn’t get why people ogle over him, but hey, it gets his bills paid so who is he to complain

karasu’s a rapper. i think the visual of him leaning back in his studio while working on songs is sooooooo hot. bonus points if we get pictures of his hands n stuff

ok i Know rin technically is the first place and leader of bllk eleven, but for some reason, karasu gives me leader vibes? he’s trying to round all the boys up while they’re doing dumb shit and hes standing there like 🧍 mamas i do not get paid enough for this

hiori joins nagi in on gaming. he livestreamed him dying his hair once. it was just him, god, and his truckload of fans in a cramped ass bathroom while he wrapped his head in foil and sat on top of the toilet.

he’s also the one that gets the brightass neon hair each comeback. u know the song’s abt to slap when hiori shows up looking like the froot loops mascot 🗿

chigiri’s sister won’t quit airing out chigiri’s dirty laundry, and it drives him insane. it also drives him crazy when people thirst after his sister. also i think his fancams wld go the most viral just bc he’s very pretty, and i think he’d be fairly reasonable with fanservice

although he does get pretty snappy sometimes, so it’s a delicate balance finding what he’s in the mood for. the hair stylists love dressing him up since he’s one of the less fussy members (thanks to how much his sister used to dress him up when he was younger)

one out of the two visuals of the group (the other being aryu)

aryu practices english with his fans! he’ll attempt interviews, posts, and livestreams entirely in english to learn, and he’ll do his best to correct his mistakes :) everyone’s very supportive of him, even when he’s rambling about his latest hair styling tips in broken english and bits of japanese

also because he’s so fucking tall, he solos everyone whenever those idol sports competitions come around. his long limbs are lethal, and people will thirstpost about him violently. he’s also very fashion-forward, so he collaborates often with the styling team about the group’s concepts and outfits!

ISAGI’S THE MEOWMEOW OF THE GROUP!! he’s trying his hardest and always delivers. he’s also down horrendous for whatever noel noa is as an idol, and he’s practically begging for a collaboration every other tweet. poor boy nearly shits his pants whenever he sees noa at an awards shows or other big events

i’d also love to see him star as an mc on music shows?? he gives off the perfect zealous yet cutesy vibes to pull that off. he’s the perfect level of awkward to be endearing, and he’s always invited back because of how polite and hardworking he is :] he also def has a lot of gap moe between his self as an absolutely fucking feral performer who rips up the stage versus him being Just A Dude offstage

reo was a trainee w nagi! he practices by doing covers of other idols’ works (im trying rlly hard to incorporate his chameleon thing into the idolverse ok), and he’s really touched when trainees do covers of his songs and dances too! it shows him how far he’s come :]

he ties his hair up a lot, so fans beg him constantly to put it down! id like to think nagi once caught him on a livestream fresh out of a shower w nothing but a towel around his waist, and people went fucking NUTS over 1) seeing reo half naked all drenched w water and 2) finally seeing him without his little bun

reo is also a dancer in my heart (i am never wrong btw <3)

omg cld u imagine all the cute names u cld give to barou’s fans? the king and his loyal kingdom :] people also wld kill to see his hair down and ungelled, but he doesn’t like it bc it feels unruly so there’s some beef between his management and him over that

he got wrestled into a maid outfit once, but people loved it so much it became a key moment for the group. he doesnt mind it as much as people thought he would, but definitely wld prefer to dress up in other costumes for once. barou’s also an extremely talented performer, often shining the most when he gets solo performances over group collaborative ones.

niko is literally junji from onlyoneof 🧍he also strikes me as the kind of guy to rock eboy fashion? he absolutely eats up any dark concepts!! he kinda detests cute concepts, but unlike rin (who’ll throw hands w his management), niko kinda learns to grin and bear it

niko also composes his own songs! he’s a very self-made idol, and he’ll treat his fans to a snippet of his latest project every now and then (this is me trying to incorporate his special skills but idol version pt 2)! he’ll lock himself in his room for days on end during off seasons to compose, only coming out to use the bathroom and eat at ungodly hours. other members sometimes drop by to bring him snacks and water

gagamaru’s a lil . unhinged to say the least . he does mukbang streams every once in a while, and it gives his management a stroke when it goes viral because he ate everything using his hands. he’s getting good at using utensils regularly, but hey, if his fans wanna see him stuffing his face in the way that makes him happiest, then who is he to upset them?

gagamaru also solos everything on idol sports shows. whenever he’s on one of those wilderness survival shows, he comes back out looking just the same as he did going in, if not better. he’s also so flexible that it drives every dancer in the industry green with jealous that they can’t control their body like he does. he’s still very sweet and humble though, so no one can really hate him since he’s just a big hunky goofball that does what he wants :]

YUKIMIYA KPOPS GEM YUKIMIYA KPOPS IT BOY YUKIMIYA OUTSOLD YOUR FAVES

ok fr tho yukimiya still keeps up with his modeling on the side (kinda hc to be a model-turned-idol), so he sneaks in a lot of his sponsors’ clothes into his idol outfits! those kpop fashion accounts are always scrambling to identify the clothes he’s wearing

he also has one hell of a gap between performing and being off stage, and he’s so goddamn charismatic that it feels like he’s a completely different person when he’s on stage. like he’ll be all smiley and sweet, and then he’ll go fucking feral just like isagi that it’s hard to believe he’s normally a soft-spoken gentleman whenever the cameras aren’t on him.

ok now that ive talked abt the bllk eleven, extra hcs of idol au bllk that werent part of the main team

aiku gets into so many dating scandals that they dont even feel like a scandal anymore. everyone wakes up and is like “oh this is who he was fucking w this time” and moves on. good for him ig? at least he’s free on that end

sendou gets nervous talking to girl groups. he’s also really generous w fanservice and does gravure photoshoot bc he knows what its like to be a fan of them. good for him good for him!! go feed ur fans!!

sae def placed first on a previous season of bllk produce 101, which got rin inspired to become an idol. imagine the tension at awards shows OOF 💀 or the questions people post abt the brothers potentially collaborating for a comeback. sae also hates fanservice, but he goes out of his way to shut that shit down

kaiser is kpop’s ace!! there is nothing this bitch can’t do! he also refuses to cover up his tattoo and shows it off whenever he gets the chance. talks about wanting to get more in the future, but his management’s successfully keeping him restrained… for now.

ness wld be disturbingly good at cute concepts… it’s crazy how easily he can get people to fall for him with his easygoing charm, but the second people start talking smack abt smth he likes, he turns murderous. it’s always the adorable ones you need to watch out for. sometimes fans admit to liking him more than kaiser which usually throws him for a loop.

speaking of concepts, shidou devours dark concepts too! i feel like he’d make one hell of a vocalist, and he’s constantly hounding sae for a collab together. even his regular clothes are striking enough to be confused for a stage outfit, and he takes a lot of pride in keeping up his demonic aura (even though he lives for the thrill of performing more than anything else)

kunigami gives off such husband material vibes. baby gets invited to shows where he babysits kids, cares for pets, etc and everyone just ends up falling more in love with him. he’s so respectful about turning people down too like goddamn how is this boy real

nanase is 100% the maknae of the group. bonus points if he originally came from a nugu group that rose to a fair amt of popularity, and now he’s starstruck that he gets to interact w idols that he looked up to for so long

ego def used to be an idol before retiring and becoming a manager/head honcho behind blue lock’s produce 101. he hates the artificiality of idols and pushes the boys to become their own version of what they expect an idol to be like. hes also insane in this au too

anri is one of the biggest managers of the produce project! she’s the one behind the scenes, setting everything up! the boys are extremely grateful towards her, and she even has her own dedicated fanbase!

tokimitsu has bad stage fright, and his fans do their best to support him! they encourage him to do what makes him comfortable, and he promises to work hard to not let them down. he has one of (if not, the) strongest bond with his fans, and their interactions are super wholesome.

buratsuta is like jyp. hope this makes sense <3

check out this sick edit of bllk produce btw

[ivyblossom]

Creators, Fans, and Shame (mine)

This is not going to be a useful exploration that adds any value to fandom. This is just my personal fannish agony, documented in the hopes that I can leave it behind somehow.

I'm struggling to cope with the fact of a showrunner who actually seems to be pro-fan. I love it, it's amazing, I'm so grateful, it makes me happy, but then it also scares me. Can any showrunner start out pro-fan, and stay pro-fan?

Which, as I say it, sounds ridiculous. Surely people who create media like their fans. But we know the truth of it: creators have hated fans like us forever. We are used to being hated. We are used to be belittled and mocked. There's a part of my psyche that is just pure shielding at this point because I'm so used to it that I've gotten pretty good at blocking stuff out.

You know what stuff: I think I still have a copy of a cease & desist letter from a creator's laywers addressed to a fan for deigning to make fanfiction available on the internet: that's the kind of reaction I'm familiar with and used to. (It wasn't addressed to me, it was to someone I knew, but weren't we all making fanfiction available? Wasn't it sort of directed at all of us?) And all the laughing interviews, the jokes, the dismissal, being framed as stupid, vapid teen girls (why must everyone hate teen girls? I ask you) actors reading fanfiction in front of an audience for gross, humiliating laughs (my heart goes out to the fan writer that happened to: I cannot imagine, I just cannot), the discomfort with our existence, the dismay that we have voices and react to things, the outrage. We get embarrassed by it. We police each other to try and prevent it (I am guilty of this, and I'm sorry).

We have often been fans in spite of creators who behave this way towards us. The communities we build around a shared language and the stories we tell becomes more important to us than the original content. Fanwork is often criticism: a repair job, a rescue, a different, better narrative choice, or character choice. Does this kind of negative creator reaction to fandom make negatively-inspired fanwork more likely? I don't know.

It's tough when you admire creators so much and they turn around and sneer at you and laugh at you. It feels very personal and humiliating. Don't meet your heroes, etc. etc. right? I feel very weird about all this, because these creators that I admire so much, they don't know me, they're not aware of me at all. For good or for ill, it's not about me, really. We become a mass, a collective noun. But still, it is, on some level, also about me. It is personal.

I don't know what to do with any of this. the humiliation of getting scolded by a showrunner you admire, or even the delight of their joy in fandom when it comes, honestly. Parasocial relationships are a trip. I am very embarrassed about them. When I see any of my heroes in real life I am immediately so embarrassed by my own anonymous excitement that I can only pretend that I don't know who they are. My own one-sided admiration overwhelms me. And embarrasses me. That's a me thing.

Fundamentally I'm struggling now because I've believed in creators before and been let down by them. I've believed that they understood us and wouldn't lash out and hurt us in these specific ways. And I've been very wrong.

And you know, I don't even mean the queerbaiting, honestly. I mean being framed by people we deeply admire as silly, gross, dumb idiots who got it all horribly, self-indulgently wrong, you dumbasses. That really hurts in a way that sticks.

I have my own way of dealing with the queerbaiting thing, but maybe that's also just my shielding. Maybe I've created a way to process it to make it okay because of how common it's been through my whole life, and how much I want to be able to love certain swaths of media, I don't know.

But I don't need a story to do certain things in order to love it, or for it to be queer enough for me, or whatever. My struggle is with how creators talk about fans rationally reading stories as queer. David Jenkins called it gaslighting, and I think he's 100% correct. To dismiss and deny that the reading is there and reasonable at all is hurtful in a way that I find hard to describe. Gaslighting is the right word for it, because it's an abuse tactic. And that's how it feels.

And now I'm going to get into this: I want to talk about Sherlock. (Oh god, really? Yes. Yes, I'm going to talk about it, hopefully just this once, and then let it go.)

When I first saw Sherlock S1 when it aired, I thought it was wonderfully slashy in a self-aware way, and given that it's kind of a prequel, "how Sherlock Holmes becomes Sherlock Holmes," and how they were already framing the relationship, I figured that the story would give in to the romance on some level, though I figured it probably wouldn't be in an on-the-nose way. I imagined it would be romantically ambiguous to the end, and to be honest, after 4 series, I will still argue that that's exactly what it ended up being.

I remain perfectly confident in the argument that Sherlock is very much a story about two men who fall desperately in love with each other, but have so much personal baggage that they can't do anything with the truth of that love other than wrestle with it, know that it's true and real, and have to find a way to live with the sheer impossibility of it.

Conceptually, I like that story, even if it's queerbaity. I think it's immensely tragic and beautiful, monstrous and beautiful, and while it would suck for every story to be like that, I loved a story that would play with love in that way. I loved writing fanfiction that explored and pushed through that tension. The fact of the romantic impossibility was a sort of invitation to write ways that it could happen. Is that strange? Maybe that's just a coping mechanism I've developed. Anyway. I was okay with the story. It's sort of queering the backstory of these two men in Arthur Conan Doyle's stories, giving them this fraught romantic history.

There's a whole mess in there about fandom conspiracies and whatnot. I really never understood any of that and I was truly shocked by what happened in fandom when series 4 aired. I'm embarrassed that I didn't see it coming when the signs were there, and that I didn't understand it that fannish shipping had tipped over into something else that I still can't completely wrap my head around, so I won't pretend to have a useful opinion about any of that.

What hurt me the most wasn't the way the narrative about the relationship resolved. It was the way the creators talked about it the queer reading of the story, and about us, after series 4 aired. As if we were gross and silly and wrong. And ridiculous. And offensive. And they were angry with us.

I realize creators see fandom from a very different vantage point than I do, and I'm sure there's more going on than I can possibly be aware of, real life stuff, scary stuff fans may have been up to, but the dramatic reaction from the Sherlock creators dismissing all the very legible and originally self-aware romantic elements of their own story shocked the hell out of me, and made me feel...well, stupid and ashamed, honestly. Because I didn't see any of that coming on any level. I thought they understood us.

I didn't, and still don't, see anything wrong with wanting an implied queer romance to go from subtext to text. I didn't see anything wrong with arguing that it could, or even that it should. What would actually happen in the story was a whole other matter, but the fannish conversations about the potential of the narrative were fair and legit, as far as I'm concerned. I never expected to be told that I was imagining it the whole time. I trusted that Steven Moffat in particular wouldn't do that. And I'm embarrassed that I believed that he wouldn't. I'm hugely disappointed that he did.

And I'm embarrassed that I'm embarrassed, because of the parasociality of it all! Steven Moffat doesn't know me. It's not about me. But, at the same time, it is. I'm part of that collective noun. And I wasn't wrong about that story.

And now I think David Jenkins would not do that to us, and I truly believe he wouldn't, because he's already confirmed it in the text and in conversations about the text. We're free. I think he actually understands. He seems to understand it better than I do. I like the way he frames it. He's given me a way to think about all this that's actually very useful, and healing. And because this story isn't gaslighting us, there shouldn't be a whole dialogue about fans getting it wrong and stupid, sex-obsessed girls. Right?

Right?

I need a hug.

[aconstantstateofbladerunner]

Hello I am writing a book (fic)

It involves a character developing a sort of para social relationship to another character who died from the things and actions they left behind

I was wondering if you had tips to make it seem more convincing than ''we have similar tastes, I will base my entire personality off of you''

(this got much longer than i intended so i apologize for rambling)

The thing to keep in mind is that there isn’t one singular way to write a toxic parasocial relationship. One of the things that often makes real people fandoms and stan culture so toxic is that there is a lot of infighting between groups with different kinds and levels of toxic. And the groups themselves can often in force their own toxic positivity where they hold themselves and each other up as enlightened paragons superior to the ignorant masses. The way you describe things here, it seems like it’s just one person, but keep the above in mind if there is a ‘fandom’ around the dead character, even a small one.

Speaking broadly for individual thought processes, the core factor of what turns a normal interest/admiration of a famous stranger into a toxic parasocial relationship is when the person on the outside no longer recognizes the scale of the barrier between then and their object of interest. They start to believe the object is sending them all these special messages and details that only a ‘real’ fan would understand. (The ‘real fan’ part is especially important, as another big chunk of the mindset behind toxic parasocial fandoms is the perceived hierarchy. There are haters at the bottom who only live to tear down the object, the ignorant normies who don’t recognize the object’s greatness, there are the bad fans who interpret the object wrong or like them for the wrong reasons, the fake fans who pretend to have the right reasons for clout, and finally the few, the oppressed, the enlightened individuals who are better and smarter than everyone else because they like a stranger in the correct way. Said enlightenment tends to assign them the authority to do whatever they want to anyone who doesn’t meet their standards.) It’s a form of projection; the fan spends all this time and effort thinking about their object, so the object must be doing the same thing and they clearly love the fan back just as much. This can extend into conspiracy territory when they start searching for patterns and messages that aren’t actually there in order to find ‘proof’ of a conclusion they’ve already come to. The obvious example being when fans ship two irl people so hard, they convince themselves that the two are in fact secretly dating and the reason they aren’t public is because of nebulous nefarious forces. And if only the object would listen to the ‘real’ fans even more, they know exactly how to ‘save’ them from their situation because they understand what the object wants better than them. But in the mean time, there is a moral imperative to post about them as much as possible because that is the most important thing for the object. This kind of worldview can be difficult to wrap one’s head around without being in the thick of it, let alone writing it, so hopefully this will help get the gears turning.

As for specific suggestions, the details will vary based on how the worshiped object died. But based on what you’ve said here, I would start with the similar tastes angle that gradually snowballs into the character believing they know them better that anyone who actually knew them before they died. It starts innocently enough, reading about, empathizing with, and imagining that they would have gotten along if they knew each other before the one died. Perhaps the living character is very lonely, and the death of someone who could have been a rare potential friend hits that much harder. Maybe (depending on how they actually die) the living character starts believing that if they did know them, they could have saved them from their end. Maybe hindsight reveals answers the living character is sure they would have figured out before it was too late. To take your “I will base my entire personality off of you,” literally, maybe the character starts copying the behaviors and tastes they don’t have in common under the belief they need to emulate them in order to ‘honor’ them. But on the other hand, they start projecting their own issues onto the object to fill in the blanks: “They never said it, but I know they must have felt [blank] about that because I’ve been there.” Anyone who says otherwise is just too ignorant to read the signs. You could also throw in an insult about how detractors just don’t have the life experience/aren’t mature enough to get it, I’ve seen that one a lot. Picking fights with people who don’t have the exact same interpretation in general. Again, the character earnestly feels deeply emotionally attached to this dead character, claiming them as a lost friend. Any evidence in contrast to that worldview is an attack, on both the titular character and the dead one. And as more ‘attacks’ come, they align themselves as a ‘fellow victim’ to the dead one. Maybe even the dead character’s family are ‘out to get them.’ Maybe they decide the few remaining friends they do have are lesser than them because they can’t see the truth. But, if you want to take them to the next level, they could formulate the fantasy that the dead character made all the stuff they left behind specifically for the living one. It was fate. It was a classical, romantic tragedy selflessly gifted on behalf of the living character. They were meant to find and understand their words better than anyone else, and in turn become the keeper of their legacy.