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[lifeandlaughters-blog]

7 Things that Desi Parents Do Which May cause SIDS

Well, in Pakistan not everyone knows about or has information on SIDS  (Sudden Infant Death Syndrome). It’s also called cot death or crib death. It usually happens to the babies under 12 months of age.

When I was expecting my son, I used to read a lot about pregnancy, giving birth and baby care related stuff. It was then when I first read about SIDS. To be honest it drove me nuts. Because when I research about the topic, I got to know that there are no known reasons of SIDS. Even after detailed research and autopsies doctors could not find any specifics issues that caused it. However, the researchers have reasons to believe that certain situations such as premature births, smoker or alcoholic mothers or respiratory issues in infants can cause SIDS in the first year of a baby’s life.

However, there are certain do and don’ts that can reduce the risk of SIDS for a baby. When I read the list, I was shocked to see that most of what the medical practitioners and researchers ask us not to do, is normally what is recommended by Desi families to new mothers. I am going to list them all down.

1)- Putting baby on his side to sleep/ Karwat Litana

It is strictly forbidden by doctors. In desi families, it is said that put baby to sleep on his side. And usually, there are two reasons given for this.

a). Baby may be choked.

b). Baby might wake up suddenly, scared and crying and would sleep for lesser hours

For (a) above, doctors say that healthy babies cough up the fluids automatically and choking is very rare like this. Just don’t forget to burp the baby before putting him to sleep

For (b) above, Doctors say that putting babies to sleep on their side can cause them breathing difficulty. So, I would say that we can always sooth the baby and we can also bear with less long sleep hours for the baby than putting him on the risk of SIDS.

So, whenever you put your baby to sleep, put them to sleep on their back. And do not make exceptions for this. Tell everyone around whoever takes part in baby care for those early days. Because baby who is always put to sleep on his back, if suddenly put to sleep on his side might have higher risk of SIDS. So, no exceptions.

It’s not specifically mentioned because usually everyone knows it. But still I am clearly mentioning it here. Do not ever put your baby to sleep on his stomach. NEVER.

2)- Putting baby to sleep in your bed or with other kids – (Sath litao ziada dair soey ga)

We have a trend in our desi homes for saying no to baby’s separate sleeping space like crib or cot. Some people put baby to sleep in their own beds or with other kids. My baby’s doctor said a big ‘NO’ to this.

Because if mothers are too tired or under effect of medicine and are not well. They might tend to be deep in sleep and roll over and baby can suffocate. Even only the weight of your hand can also cause breathing problems for a baby. So carefully choose a safe sleeping space for your precious little.

credit

To be honest, in-between for some time, I used to put my son with me to sleep but for those days, either I used to be up all the night, or I used to get up even on slightest of his movements because I am a light sleeper. However, for the days when I used to feel very tired, I always put him in his crib to sleep then. So, I believe that it’s a mother’s call. You know yourself best and your baby too. Decide wisely. But make it a point to buy a cot for your baby. Don’t compromise on this.

3)- Giving Honey to babies under 1 year of age  – (Shehed Chataya karo)

It’s a tradition in our desi homes to give honey. I also gave it to my son and there was no problem. However, doctors say that giving honey to children under one year of age can cause some bacterial infections and those infections can increase the risk of SIDS. So, don’t give honey because other have done it. Because others might be very lucky with this. But not everyone is very lucky.

Must Check : Desi Baby Weaning Plan and Tips 

Moreover, know that you know less than your baby’s doctor. So, trust him and listen to him.

4)- Not giving baby pacifiers – (Choosni na lagana bachay ko)

In our desi homes, pacifiers are always discouraged. However, Pacifiers are proven to be helpful in SIDS prevention. SIDS and Pacifiers have a strong connection and one must understand it.

If your baby does not take pacifier that’s fine, otherwise there is no harm giving a pacifier to the baby till he falls asleep. Once baby is asleep take out the pacifier. You can read all about the best use of pacifier in my this post.

Top 10 Pacifiers myth and Facts  

It also includes the best possible ways and situations to use pacifiers. Don’t miss on it.

5)- Layering the baby too much – (Kambal lapait kar sulao warna thand lag jaey gi)

New mothers are always said to keep the baby covered. Well, covered is fine and you should do that. But over-covering the baby can cause over-heating. And over-heating can trigger SIDS.

Don’t cover baby in blankets and woolen cloths while sleeping. Keep the clothing light. Keep the baby in cotton clothing and the room temperature at a level that’s comfortable for you. It shall be comfortable and okay for the baby too.

6)- Blankets, quilts and pillows in the cot or on the bed

Do not cover the baby with blankets. Doctors say that there should absolutely be nothing in your baby cot when a baby is sleeping. No blanket, quilt or pillow. Because baby may be tangled and suffocated if he rolls over.

Also, do not share your blanket or quilt with baby if you are co-sleeping. They can easily get suffocated between you and your quilt/blanket.

Moreover, if you are co-sleeping with your baby remove any handsfree or charger cable from your bed before you put your baby to sleep. Because babies older than 6 months can roll over. They can get tangled with these cables and this can be fatal.

7)- Stuffed toys – A big NO

I know how cute they are. But keep them away from your baby reach. Because they can cause suffocation. If baby happens to fall on them face down, he cannot pull himself up. It’s dangerous.

8 Smart Toys for One-Year-Old kid – Let him Learn More About World

8)- Skipping vaccinations (Rehney do-Hamaray bachon ki itni lambi vaccinations tou nhi hui)

Vaccinations are necessary and if someone says that their babies did well without all the vaccination 20 or 30 years back. Don’t listen to them. Vaccinations help protect babies from infections they cannot fight and lower the risk of SIDS.  Follow through the vaccination schedule and make it a point to be on time with it. I believe that it’s our duty as parents to provide our babies with timely vaccinations.

  Wrap up:

In the nutshell, make your baby’s sleeping environment as safe as possible. Make them wear light, comfortable clothes, put them to sleep in a clean cot without pillows and blankets. Put them to sleep on their backs and keep their cot close to you. Check on them regularly and make dua for them. Because this is what you can do.

That’s all I could contribute to this topic. I hope that it helps you. Don’t fall for Myth, know the facts for the well-being of your baby.

I also suggest this to parents that ask your pediatrician about SIDS and listen to their instructions.

Do let me know of your feedback on this article. Leave me a comment below if it helped you. Did you know about SIDS and what was your methodology to reduce its risk? Let me know you your way of preventing it.

[lifeandlaughters-blog]

11 Ways to Stay Strong in Bad Situations

I was never meaning to write this post. But I got messages asking how I control my nerves in emergency situations. How to stay strong in bad situation? What is my formula of handling an unexpected situation and still holding my ground. To be honest, it is not that easy. But if you think life would be easy and simple then you have to change your angle now.  As we grow older, we have to face different kinds of difficult situations. We can’t avoid such situations as they are unavoidable but we can learn to deal with them.

11 Ways to Stay Strong in Bad Situations

I am sharing my tips to control the nerves and not panic too much

1)- Accept the situation

The more you remain in the state of denial. The more painful it becomes. Accept that the emergency has happened. And there is no way that you can reverse the situation. The moment you accept it becomes the moment your mind starts working on finding the solution . Yon can learn to stay strong the minute you accept the situation.

2)- Don’t hold your emotions back

Even after you accept the situation you can feel pained. If you feel over-whelmed, don’t hold it back. Do whatever helps you. Cry it out loud in private or surround yourself with friends and family and tell them about your pain.

3)- Think about the solution

Start thinking about the best course of action or the solution to the problem. Critically think. Measure your circumstances. If you don’t find a solution, I suggest you to read other people stories online. When you come to know what other people are suffering the same way you are and they find a solution. Your faith boosts up a little more than before.

4)- Don’t listen to every-body

People love giving free pieces of advice. They will keep on giving them. Listen to all of them but do only what you think is right. Your relatives or friends can not think the way you can about your situation. So it is you who need to decide what’s best for you and your family.

5)- Don’t be rude with people who help

In difficult times, when we are undergoing a trauma already. Sometimes we fail to appreciate that how much the people around you who come up and meet & greet matter. How much social connectivity matters. So always be very thankful. Be very expressive and tell them how grateful you are for them standing beside you in your testing time.

Check : 7 Don’ts of a Happy Marriage

6)- Believe, Believe, Believe

If you are a believer, it becomes a lot easier to make your peace in any situation. Because you believe that there is someone above you, greater than you and everything. And that if a tragedy has fallen upon you HE shall be with you and you won’t be left alone.

I am going to quote an ayah from Al-Quran here.

“So Verily with the Hardship, there is Relief.

Verily with the Hardship, there is Relief.”

Reference: ( Al Quran 94: 5-6)

Translation in Urdu: Beshak Her Mushkil k sath Asani hai.

Faith is strength, simply.

  7)- Self-confidence is the Key.

Trust in yourself. Know that only you can do something for yourself.  No one else is ever going to come and save you. Its you and only you. Be confident. Take charge of the situation and be confident about it. Don’t strain your nerves. Know that you can do anything.

8)- Don’t wallow in self-pity

In a tragic situation, it is very easy to fall in this dark hole of self-pity.

Why me?

why am I always in trouble?

No, No, No. You are certainly not the only one. It is just that you don’t know everyone’s circumstances so well. You don’t know their struggles. So, don’t do this. Think about yourself and not others. Others have got problems too and they are certainly not thinking about you or you or problems.

don’t Miss: Postpartum Depression Management Tips

9)- Dealing with harsh-people

While there are so many nice people in the world. There are always those who are usually very harsh and don’t treat you with the sympathy you think you deserve to be treated with. Don’t be rude to them. Done fight with them. While you undergo some tragedy, you might feel helpless or angry. Don’t let that anger consume you. Be patient. Just know that it might not be a very good time for you but it is definitely going to pass.

10)- Ask for help

No matter what. If you need help. Just ask for it. Don’t hold back. You can’t do everything alone. Having help can ease your suffering.  Talk to your family and friends. When they are not available due to some reasons then get help from an expert like a psychologist or therapist.

11)- Make dua

Make dua that You be given the strength to pass the trial period in your life. Dua motivates, it gives hope. I am going to share my favorite dua below. It is well-known as “Ayat-Karima”. You can try this one just to stay strong or go for any dua you have in your heart deep-down. Just know that God knows what you really need and he will ease your sufferings. All you have to do is to pray and ask for His Help.

Check: Umrah with One-Year-Old Kid complete Guide

My 5 Favorite Stay Strong Quotes

I am going to share my favorite stay strong quotes that help you maintain focus on the solution, instead of the bad situation you are facing.

Stay strong, be brave, love hard and true, and you will have nothing to lose.

Strength does not come from winning. Your struggles develop your strengths. When you go through hardships and decide not to surrender, that is strength.

There’s so many things that life is, and no matter how many breakthroughs, trials will exist and we’re going to get through it. Just be strong.

Build up your weaknesses until they become your strong points.

If you feel lost, disappointed, hesitant, or weak, return to yourself, to who you are, here and now and when you get there, you will discover yourself, like a lotus flower in full bloom, even in a muddy pond, beautiful and strong.

Wrap Up

This is all I could think of right now. I practice this in my life. These tips have groomed me and helped me stay strong no matter how bad the situation is. They can help you groom your inner-selves too. And when life throws a difficult situation at you, you know exactly what you are capable of and how you can handle everything more easily.

Do you have your own way of dealing with bad situation? Feel free to share.

 All the best. Have a really safe and good day.  

[lifeandlaughters-blog]

Desi Baby Weaning Plan by a very Desi Mom

Just search baby weaning plan on the web and in a matter of seconds you get thousands of results like weaning schedules, weaning foods, food recipes and many similar things. Thanks to the web, we have a lot of options. But I am a simple person and I still like the old time when desi moms used to feed the baby in their own style. We all grew up watching the Cerelac advertisement on televisions. I remember watching babies being fed with packaged expansive food. Of course, parents back then thought it’s the best and specially designed for their babies. They must have been presented with researches and told the ingredients. They must specifically have mentioned how this is best for the baby to have this food. And it became the trend.

I started offering little something when my baby was four months old. I remember I was scared too because the doctor said offer liquids and semi-solids after Eight (8) months of age. But I decided to start earlier as per our desi style of baby weaning. And guess what. It worked for me!

Is popular Weaning food the right food for babies?

So, they say wean a baby in popular style. Give the baby western style food. No spices, no salt, no sugar They also tell the health benefits of the same. Neither I am a health practitioner nor a medical researcher. So, I cannot comment on that. But I shall tell you about my experience. How I weaned my baby. What did I offer to him? At which age and what recipes, I followed. How I tweaked the recipes to create food in my own style.

My style of weaning, was it desi?

I decided I shall wean my baby in desi style. The way I was offered food. In the age, I started eating. Although along the way my process has got the modern marks too. But it’s still old school.

At what age I started my baby weaning plan?

I gave my baby first food to taste when he was Five (5) months old. I remember I was scared too because his doctor mentioned about nothing other than ilk before Six to Eight months. He mentioned selective semi-solids and juices at the age of eight and not the family diet until he is one year old. However, I have experienced over time that different doctors have different opinions regarding this. Moreover, when we change country the opinion changes and if you change continent, a whole new perspective regarding this awaits you.

After reading, discussing and researching about this, I concluded that it’s my call. Whatever the way I want and whatever the opinion I want to follow. In all this decision making my mother helped me a lot. She always mentioned that make food at home and offer him. She told me she did the same with me. So, said she offered me my first food to taste when I was four months old. I decided to follow her method. The old school method of weaning the baby.

How I started this? First foods offered?

Everyone told me to go with the popular food. The Cerelac. But I wanted him to taste homemade food. First time only a pinch of some mashed rice. I still remember the faces he made. Haha. The pinch of mashed rice was salty. Just slightly though, but salty Food offered for the first week or so on a test basis I started to offer him a pinch of almost everything I used to make at home. Like any curry (salan), lentil (daal) or vegetable. I made sure of only one thing that whatever I cook at home should not be high on spices.A  taste of mild spices and salt at home is added for everyone. I also observed my son for any allergic reaction. When I saw that he accepted the food I offered I decided to take the step two.

Weaning Plan from 6th to 8th month

a) Khidtchri:

I always made it in small quantities. In desi ghee or butter only. A little salty in taste and runny in consistency. You can mash it with a spoon or blend it. I always mashed with a spoon because I wanted my son to taste the grain texture. Which he would not be able to experience if blended rice would have been offered

b) Sooji halwa/kheer: It is so good for weight gain You can make it in breast milk or formula whatever your baby takes Always use butter of Desi ghee to make it My tip is not to feed it too much to your baby or baby may end up being over-weight. But if given o under-weight babies, semolina can do the wonders.

What you need to Know About:

Umrah with One Year Old Kid

Pacifiers Facts and Myths

c) Mashed Potato with white sauce:

Although mashed potato alone made in butter is enough However, if you want to add taste to it you can make a white sauce and pour it a bit on mashed potato. Babies love creamy stuff. It is one of the best and easiest homemade food recipes for babies.

d) Banana:

Babies love eating a mashed banana. Even if they don’t like eating any other fruit. Its rich in nutrition and is always readily available.

e) Lentil soup:

It super simple to make. I used to just boil the lentil with a little salt and black pepper. You can make it with red lentil or yellow. But yellow lentil is recommended for soup.

f) Fruit and vegetable purees:

Whatever fruits or vegetable you prefer. You can make the puree and can freeze it for later use as well. I usually used to store puree in an ice tray. However, if you can, just make small quantities and serve only fresh.

Weaning Plan Food offered from 8th to 12th month

a) Wheat Porridge:

Yes. Porridge made in milk. You can make it sweet or salty. Whatever way your baby prefers. And yes baby will definitely give the sign for whatever taste they prefer.

b) Oatmeal:

There are multiple recipes of oatmeal on the internet. You can google and find different recipes to try. A simple tip is you can make it both in milk or water or broth. I always make it salty and preferably in chicken or mutton broth. You can add minced meat in the meal too if you like.

c) Roti/Chapati

Just a piece to the babies so that they can chew on it. Because they are usually teething during the age bracket. It is one of the best baby weaning foods you can make easily.

d) Rice Combos

You can also offer different variations of rice with veggies or lentil or chicken or mutton curry. Just make sure that spices are not high and it’s not too salty.

e) Yogurt

Plain yogurt, sweet yogurt or Greek yogurt. Whatever you feel is suitable. Or whatever the taste baby prefers.

f) Fruits and veggies

Raw to chew it. Or in puree form or just baked and mashed. Whatever way the baby prefers.

g) Crushed Nuts and other dry fruits

You can add the finely crushed nuts and other dry fruits to baby’s diet.

h) Drinks

Fruit Juices, shakes, smoothies can also be part of babies’ food.

i) Dates

Usually, these are a universal favorite of babies

j) Minced meat:

Chicken, mutton or beef.

k) Eggs: You can try eggs. But offer only a pinch and observe for 24 hours. In case no allergic reaction appears. You can start offering only small qualities. I started with yolk and that too a little runny. You can boil, or you can fry it. I used to offer both. You can also offer scrambled eggs, or a simple omelet made with salt and pepper.

Weaning baby at 12 months to onwards:

Switch the baby to the family diet. Offer whatever are you eating. Offer three meals. In-between the meals offer a lot of water and snacks or milk as the baby prefers.

Must read: Baby Skin care Routine and Tips

My 13 Most Effective Baby Weaning Tips

When it comes to feeding a baby, every mom has her own tips and tricks. I am going to share mine that would surely work for you . 1. Don’t offer cold water/cold milk/cold anything 2. Don’t offer fruits that are sour 3. Read on the internet about the food can cause choking for example grapes. Always cut them to two or three pieces. There Is a list of food that needs such care to avoid choking. They should be on your fingertips 4. Carefully plan the meal times. There should be a good gap between two meals 5. Never leave the baby alone while he is eating. And always keep a close eye on him or feed him yourself 6. Watch you-tube videos on choking. What are the signs and how to manage it 7. Don’t force feed your baby. 8. Designate an eating space for your baby so that they don’t run around while eating 9. Or the best is to get a high chair for your baby and you can give him food and he can try to eat himself. Babies love eating themselves. Although they end up making a mess and eat less than you expect but its fun and they learn to eat themselves. 10. Don’t offer cold drinks 11. Offer only fresh juices made at home. Try not to offer over the counter juices available 12. Try not to give packaged snacks like lays, biscuits etc (Try organic as much as you can) 13. I trust in roti more and breadless. So, bread is not a preferred food in my home.

Don’t Forget to Know About : 8 Smart toys for Kids 

Organic Food Vs Processed Food 

Your baby’s health is first and foremost thing. Whatever you cook at home is organic food made from scratch. Try to offer organic food and try to avoid packaged food. The processed food looks great and it is easy to feed them. But when you check online health websites, then you come to know how harmful they can be for your babies. These days, when moms give packet poisons i.e. Chips, crackers, etc to their babies with a smile on their face. I still like to live in the time when moms were quite conscious about baby weaning schedule and choice of food.

Don’t give your baby processed food just because they are easy to cook. Do a little effort on cooking and you will save your baby from future health issues.Every processed food is not bad. This is another thing you need to learn. There are some purees and other baby food products available which claim that they are organic. They are packaged in tins or pouches. They can come in handy in travel. You can occasionally use it when you can’t cook. But try to choose smartly. Read the ingredients first.

Wrap Up I have shared my baby weaning plan and tips with you. I am sure Desi moms like me also have their own plans and recipes. Would you like to share your own tips and schedules with me? Waiting for some input from your side as well, feel free to comment

[lifeandlaughters-blog]

7 Best Baby Skin Care Products for Massage, Rash, and Dryness

Mothers feel really bad when their babies suffer due to skin rashes and other skin issues. So, I decided to share the best baby skin care products for massage, rash and Dryness. One can grab them to get rid of all such problems a mother can face. My two years old boy did not have any skin related issues. Besides been very thankful to Almighty for saving him from this, I have always tried to be vigilant about it.I have this thumb rule that whatever touches my Baby’s skin should not be less than the best.

So, I am sharing two things here

1)- My Baby Boy’s skin care products which are very few as I believe in using fewer products on a baby’s skin

and

2)- His skin care routine. (Does not it sound cute to you? A two-year-old baby’s skincare routine. Haha)

Best Newborn Baby Skin Care Products

I got a huge set of baby products as present from a friend. However, I picked and chose some for daily use. There are still Other products that I have never used at all. For two reasons

a)- There was no need

b)- I was not satisfied with the product

List of necessary skin care products for newborn

1)- Sudocrem – Rash cream

This should be your first purchase for your newborn. Because babies may develop diaper rash relatively easily and frequently too. Especially babies born in Winters because we tend to wash them less and tendency to develop diaper rash increases. So, it is one of the best baby skincare routines every mom should follow.

So, a diaper rash cream shall help you abundantly. I used sudocrem and sudocrem only. If rashes are in early stage and are not very bad. It can come in handy. There are other diaper rash creams available in market too. But I can’t really talk about them because I have not used them . It is a safe product for newborn baby skin.

Caution: If a baby has developed bad diaper rashes and baby seems very restless and cry non-stop. You need to visit your baby’s pediatrician. Because some medicated antibiotic cream might help to keep rashes from getting worse. Don’t treat severe conditions at home.

2)- Baby Oil

Baby oil is a necessary product to have. It shall help you in following

Baby Massage- Babies love massage. Once you experience your little one’s joy while you do this. It shall become your favorite activity too. Massage before putting him to bed and see how peacefully he sleeps

Oiling your baby’s diaper area- It helps to keep baby calm and his diaper area dry. Oiling does not affect your baby’s skin the way powder does. Every time you change pamper just massage a little with oil.

3)- Baby cologne

Well, why not. Although babies smell heaven. But at times the careful use of baby fragrances can be very refreshing for mama and baby both. Somethings that I used to care for while putting cologne are as these:

Always use this on baby’s cloths- Because, why would you prefer using directly on the body at all. There is no need. Always try using fewer products on your baby’s skin

Put it on baby’s lower body or back (on his clothes)- I once experienced that my son started sneezing when cologne was put on his chest.

Never put cologne on his sleeves- Because babies tend to suck on their hands and sleeves.

I would suggest Johnson baby colonge.

 4)- Olive Oil

No matter how different and good baby oils you use, nothing can beat the goodness of olive oil. Always keep a bottle of Olive oil in your baby’s skin care products. Massage him with olive oil once in a week or in a month. Whatever suits you. I found it very helpful especially in winters. I used to massage my son’s chest using lukewarm olive oil. I used to just put a clove in that oil sometimes. I experienced that it helps and saves the baby from getting cough and cold. It is one of the best organic skin care products which is used by almost every mom in every corner of the world.

Why I don’t replace baby oil with olive oil?

There are basically two reasons for this. Although I know and believe that olive oil being a natural product can help baby’s skin better

It has its smell which is not very pleasant. And I always wanted to wash my baby after using olive oil on him.

This smell gets into baby’s clothing and becomes a permanent part of it until washed. As baby’s clothing is usually more expansive so maybe you would not want it to smell like olive oil all the time. So I used to do olive oil massage once a week only in winters.

5)- Petroleum jelly or baby Vaseline

Vaseline is so helpful. Sometimes baby’s skin is dry or shows the sign of dryness. Baby Vaseline can be used on the dry area. It really helps in healing. Baby vaselines are odorless and such good moisturizes. It is one of the best baby skin care tips home remedies you can use without much concern.

6)- Bioderma Atoderm Creme Review 

Sometimes a moisturizing lotion is necessary. I had to buy one when my son developed dry patches on his skin. His doctor told me about this and since then its in my house. I use it to moisturize his skin after bath. It very helpful and efficient. I chose this product after reading several baby skin care product review online. But I am quite satisfied after using this cream.

Caution- do consult your pediatrician before using. Its always good to keep pediatrician on board before using a product on your baby’s skin.

You can get this product here

7)- Baby shampoo and body wash or top-to-toe wash

Yes, you need baby shampoo and baby wash. There are also top-to-toe wash available. I used different brands for this. My favorite is Johnsons. There are also soaps available. You can also use soap. But I have felt that body wash is easier to use on new-born.

How Do I care for my Baby’s Skin? Follow My 2-year old’s skin care routine

Does not it sound cute to you? I care for my son’s skin more than I care for my skin. Although babies have great skin naturally, but it needs proper care as well

I hardly use any soap for my boy’s face. I usually wash it with some drops of yogurt or little milk. I don’t believe in using soap on the face. Sounds strange? Maybe. But that’s how it is

I never let his face air dry.

I use his face towel. Yes! His separate face towel or tissue paper.

I never rub his skin with a towel. I just pat it to absorb water

I put Vaseline on his face after the bath. Always a little. To avoid any dryness

Sometimes when his lips are dried out. I use butter or milk-cream on his lips

I put baby Vaseline on his lips when he sleeps. Because Vaseline heals dry lips faster

I keep a close eye on his diaper area and in case of smallest of rash I put some sudocrem (anti-rash cream) on that area

I change his pampers at regular intervals even at night.

I save my baby boy’s skin from direct sunlight.

I try to offer him a lot of water. Because of more the water in-take less the chances of a dry skin/lips

I give him oil-massage almost daily

I keep him clean. He takes a bath daily. And more than once in summer. Because only a clean skin is the best skin

Wrap Up

What is your baby’s skin care routine? I am sure you have your own. You can share this with my readers who remain concern about their baby skin and health. In addition, if you are using some other baby skin care products then you can mention them in the comment below. Don’t forget to tell me why you prefer using them.

[lifeandlaughters-blog]

My Formal looks: Party Wear 2018 Pakistani Styles

Recently I posted some photos of my formal looks. And I started getting personal messages about posting a full picture of the dress I was wearing, or the jewelry or the shoes etc. And someone even asked which salon did the magic. So, I thought why not a post of my favorite formal looks along with the detail of the outfit, jewelry, make up, hair style etc. So, I am going to write the best Party Wear 2018 Pakistani dresses Ideas for all of you. I am sure you would love to explore some trendy styles.

So here I am presenting to you my 5 favorite formal looks for different wedding occasions. I have tried to include as much detail as I possibly could. I hope that it serves the purpose and shall collectively answer many of your questions. If you still have some questions or if you think I have missed something, please let me know by commenting below. Moreover, do not forget telling me which look is your favorite and why.

As I usually go for soft looks, so here is the round up for the same.

Look # 1 – Traditional Pink Embroidered Shirt with straight trouser

  This look is from a walima that I attended. I had short hair then. And because I was wearing pink so I requested the make up artist to keep my look just very soft. And I think she did a pretty good job.

Dress:Bano Bazaar ,Faisalabad Pakistan

There are very good shops and lovely designs in Bano Bazaar. Because Faisalabad city is the hub of cloths and clothes related trends. If you ever get a chance, must visit. Also, it offers you a great window of negotiation. If you are a good negotiator, you can end up buying something really cool at a very reasonable price. My tip is to visit different shops and get the feel of the market before you buy. When you need the best party wear dress like salwar kameez, short kurtas, Ferrara, Garara then you would be able to explore a wide variety  there.

Makeup and hair style: New look beauty salon, Lahore

My experience at New look was very good. Staff was very considerate. The make up artist was very good and was actually listening to what I wanted. But I think it’s a bit over-Priced. I paid around PKR 10,000/- for this.

Shoes: I wore silver wedge heels from Insignia with this dress. Heel was not very high

Jewelry: I wore silver jewelry. Ear rings, necklace and 2 wide Bangles (1 in each hand).  Its my mother’s jewelry though. I borrowed from her for the day. Haha

Look # 2 –Angrakha style Peach Party dress 2018 with straight trouser and detailed different color patches of the plum dupatta borders

This look is from a mehndi function in family. As I was expected to move around a lot to greet guests. So, I kept my dress light in weight yet added some embroidery and little bit of style with different color patches at borders of my Dopatta.

You may like to know : 7 Don’ts of a Happy Marriage

Dress: Liberty Market, Lahore

If you are not a regular buyer at Liberty Market, just keep in mind that its almost a replicate of Bano Bazaar. It also has very good margin of negotiation. Just never give up on high price. You can find many shops offering good work in reasonable price.

Makeup and Hair style: Hifsa Khan Salon, Lahore

I loved their service. They are so quick and so considerate. My make up was done by a junior artist named Shazia. I loved her work. She added a detail of shimmer in my eye makeup although I asked her not to. But she insisted saying it will look great and later I liked it too. I don’t exactly remember the hair stylist, but I tried different hair stylist at that saloon, at different times and I loved it every time. It was totally affordable as well. I paid around PKR. 5000/- for this.

Jewelry: I wore just Jhumkay with this. Jhumkas were from a random shop in Liberty Market at its back side

Shoes: I wore stoned Khussa. It has two colored stones both silver and Golden. It was from KhussaMehel, Liberty for around Rs 3500.

 Look # 3: – Traditional full embroidered very light green straight shirt with straight trouser

This was for a Barat Function in Family.  It is one of my favorite party dresses 2018. Let’s break down the stuff for you

Dress: From liberty Market Lahore (A shop situated on the front circle of the liberty market)

Make up and Hair style: Sabz Lahore.

Make up was done by Qasim in Sabz. I think he does not work there any more. Anyhow , the hair style was by one of the hair stylists. He was good. Told her what to do and she made this. Which turned out good as well.

Must Read: 2 Real Life Stories of Young Age Marriages

Jewelry: I am wearing my barat day jewelry here. I will talk details about this in my marriage post, soon.

Shoes: Medium high golden heels from Insignia

Look # 4: – Red Sari Look Best Party Wear Dresses 2018

It was also for a walima function in family.

Dress- A shop in liberty with amazing Indian design saarhis. On the front circle of the market.

Makeup and Hair Style: Araamish, Lahore

Make up and hair style both were done by Khurram in Araamish. Although may people say that lip color should have been sharp, but I am happy with this.

Jewelry: Long Jhumkay from Anarkali, Faisalabad

Shoes: Medium high golden heels from Stylo

  Look # 5: Purple Sari look Pakistani Designer Wear

This was also for a walima function.

Dress: Saarhiby a home-based designer who was kick starting her work and was referred by someone in family. I kept this saarhi full sleeves. The blouse was full embroidered.

Make up and Hair style – Hifsa khan salon,  Lahore

Make up was done by a senior make up artist. I got my hair chopped that day and got them real short to this length. Hair style was done by someone from hair style section. However, all the hair stylists at Hifsakhaan are equally good.

Jewelry:I wore silver jewelry. Ear rings, necklace and 2 wide Bangles (1 in each hand). Fun fact about this jewelry is that it belongs to my mother.

Shoes: Silver wedge heels from insignia

That’s all for today. There are a few more party wear Pakistani 2018. If you would like to see, I shall post a sum up of those as well. Let me know what do you think about this? Look # 2 is my personal favorite. Which one do you like the most and why.

[lifeandlaughters-blog]

2 Young Age Marriage Stories Uncover Facts and Problems

We hear so much about childhood marriages, but no one talks about the early age marriages. When should a girl get married. Should she complete her study first or study should not be dependent on marital status. These are some very frequently asked questions when we talk about marriage.

Story #1 – Story of a Liberal Family

Once upon a time, there was a girl. Super talented, lively and good at studies. She got married quite young let’s just say she did not complete her bachelors yet. She was married with the thought that she will continue her studies because boys’ family was very educated and good. When asked the girls’ mother that why not let her complete her degree first. She replied that boy’s family says she can complete after marriage the boy shall support.

(Actual words were ‘larkay waley kehtey hain hamara larka konsa bacha hai jo kitaabein phaar day ga’.Everyone laughed at this joke. )

It’s worth mentioning that both boy and girl were from well to do families. 

Anyways after almost a year they broke off. Because boy thought he was unduly burdened for her education financially (although he knew that it was going to be so). Further, he had problem with her no contribution in home chores because she was studying. He was not happy with her choosing brands all the time. He thought she had become very high maintenance for him.

He was annoyed with her talking too much to her mom and friends. He was annoyed because she was not wise according to him. It’s not that girl didn’t try. She tried to juggle so much between home chores and study. But she never had done any of them before. So, she was not doing them like a pro.

She tolerated his difficult attitude & shouting for a year. She fell into depression. Boy was not helping, and girl was taking her natural time to learn about the world.Girl wasted a year of her life and her education because of this relationship & it’s chaos. After they broke off, she began her study in full swing again. Completed her degree and started working. Now she has become a confident and empowered woman who knows of her worth.Now can face anything in life with strong nerves and can handle difficult people with more maturity.

You may Like to Read: 7 Don’ts of a Marriage 

Moral of Young Age Marriage Story No.1

It takes time to understand the world and It’s high and lows.To learn self-control. To learn a whole lot of everything about people and their attitudes. Allow your daughters this time at their fathers’ home.Young age marriages are like ‘on job training. And it’s not best in every one’s scenario. Not everyone is that lucky.

Story#2: Story of a Conservative Family

Once upon a time, there was a bright girl. From a very conservative family. There was a trend of early marriages in her family. But girl always thought that her story shall be different as she was so prominent in studies. everyone in family knew.She took the engineering test after doing her F.Sc. But to her bad luck she could not pass. Within 6 months of that exam. They married her off. And reasons given were

Why she needs to study (‘Kia karnahaiitnaparh Kay’)

She is a girl, eventually her job is to raise kids (‘Larkizaathai. Akhir ko bachay hi palnay hain) We are not going to make her do the Job to earn money (‘Hum nay konsa nokari karwani hai) Home chores donot require a degree (‘Ghardaari k liay saleeqa chahiye degree nhi) Etc.

Please note that both families could afford her studies. However, Girl did not study after marriage. It was not even a point. Everyone was agreed on the fact that she won’t continue study. So, the girl started managing household, had kids, raised them and did everything to save & strengthen her marriage.

She had a passion for art. She could have continued it at home. However, there was never even a try by husband to know about his wife’s interests. It is one of the biggest young age marriage problems. Husband doesn’t concern about wife’s interests. Not even a single thought of her abilities. Her dreams or what she would or could achieve. & if she ever mentioned that she could have done so well, given the chance. She would get a reply, Focus on raising the kids (‘ bachay paloya hi boha thai’ ) Moral of Young Age Marriage Story No.2

A talent was brutally wasted. They said it’s in her best interest, but it was not. No one has any idea (still) that she sacrificed her self-confidence, achievements & dreams. How much she wanted to learn and grow but was denied the opportunity. .

When shall people understand that it’s necessary especially for a woman to have a degree. So that she could save herself any trouble that might come in future. Why not make her financially independent so that she could feed herself and her children if need be. Why not let her complete education so that she could raise her kids better? Why not let her grow & be her better self.

Allow your daughters to complete education & have a degree because if you don’t, chances are no one will.

  Ending Note:

We all (or let say the most of us) believe in the institution of marriage. We talk about its importance and its deep roots in society. And we talk about the issues related to it. There is so much literature available online and offline about how to make your marriage happy, how to strengthen your marital bond, how to achieve happily-ever-after in marriage. And all we hear are the things a couple need to do AFTER marriage.

However, no one talks about what can parents and society do to make the bond of marriage a happily ever-after even BEFORE marriage. We always talk about the right time for a boy to get married. We hear a lot about the financial stability of the boy, his completion of study, his maturity and his general achievements. But not many of us think or like to think about if the girl is ready for marriage.

No one talks about her maturity, her studies, her dreams. This is where we make grave mistake. Well it may result in a broken marriage or an unhappy marriage. And this mindset eventually causes an increase of dependents in the society. The girl who could become strong and empowered, emotionally and financially both, eventually end up becoming only a dependent for male members of the family.

I say to strengthen your family, please empower your women. Let them study, become someone and then marry. It can bring so much good to the family specifically and to the society overall. Don’t let talents waste in the name of marriage. Completing education and that too skill-based education which ensure the earning in future should be the first and foremost priority of every parent.

Don’t struggle so much to give them the dowry. Give them time and finances to complete their education, earn the degree and secure their future. So that when they get married, they live with dignity, self-respect and self-confidence.

[lifeandlaughters-blog]

8 Smart Toys for One Year Old , Make your Kid Smarter

Is your baby recently tuned one? Or is he going to turn one and you are planning to add to his toy collection? I am going to share a list of smart toys for one year old, these toys make your kid smarter. This list will give you a helping hand even when you are planning to buy gift for him.

First birthday is a major milestone for parents and baby both. When my son turned one. We got a lot of toys. Some as a present and others we bought ourselves. Because as parents you can’t really walk past an attractive toy.However, I learned with time that not every toy is equally good for my baby. That’s when I felt the need to search for the toys and the skill they help my baby to develop. And then shortlisting the toys to buy.

I realized that many of us including me have been buying toys for one or more of the following reasons

1)- We see other kid’s toys

2)- We do impulse purchases of attractive toys

3)- We go in a shop and buy toys in beautiful packaging

4)- We buy the things which we remember using ourselves as kids

But I say buy the toys that can add to your kids’ skill development. The toys mentioned below can help your baby achieve his milestones. In today’s busy world where parents have less spare time from work, no matter home chores or office work. If your kid has right kind of toys you can expect him to learn and explore with slightly lesser aid by you. However, the toys cannot replace you. The things babies can learn from parents are enormous. But parents can surely use toys are helping hand in baby’s learning process.

This is the list of toys I found very useful based on my experience with y son. Let’s see what I have got.

  1)- Baby Walker

There are many different types of walkers available in market these days. I personally have seen following types

Traditional walkers. in which baby sits and tries moving the walker through his legs

Pushing walker (Cart Style). Baby stands up gripping the walker and tries to push it forward

I got both for my son and what I realized later that the traditional walker is not very helpful because when baby sits in it. His back is always supported. So, when he tries to walk without the walker, he finds it hard to balance himself.

The pushing walker is better in this sense. As in, the baby learns to stand with its help and learns to push and take steps. Also, those walkers have attractive music and activity based front side. (Having beads and colorful buttons). Which keeps baby busy when he is not walking. It becomes a toy for him and he can sit and play with it.

But to tell you the truth. I think the baby learns walking the best in his natural environment. Like standing up with the help of sofa, table and wall. And trying to walk holding them. The babies who learn walking without these walkers, learn fast.

image source

2)- Blocks- Smart Toys for One Year Old

Not many blocks are for one year old. But there are some in the market for one-year-old. If you buy the blocks for your baby when he turns one it can help him develop hand eye coordination. Also, I have seen that small babies who do not walk and run can actually look at the parents and copy whatever they are doing. With a little longer attention span compared to when they learn walking and running. If you buy them suitable blocks as early as one year old and sit with your baby to show him how to build. I am sure you will see them doing this on his own very soon.

Types of blocks I have seen in the market and have attracted me for my one year old kid.

Plastic Blocks set- Which contains blocks that are bigger in size. Because babies as small as one year old, tend to take everything in their mouth. Keeping this in mind. Try to buy blocks which are bigger in size so that they are safe for baby

Rubber blocks set- I have come across this amazing rubber block set. It has numbers written and animal shapes engraved. These blocks connect to each other through shapes. As in the first block has a heart shape and it connects to second block which has the heart shaped space to fit in. So, the benefits you can achieve are multifold. Baby can start learning numbers and recognizing shapes. He can also learn to recognize animals. The set I bought has 6 such blocks.It is one of the best toys for one year old.

3)- Activity Table/Activity gym

This specific activity toy comes in multiple shapes and sizes. Let me explain

Activity Table– It is available as an activity table with very colorful and engaging surface. It has holes of specific shapes along with small blocks of those shapes to put in/Fit in the holes. It has a zigzag beads line. Babies love to move these. Also, you can say out loud the numbers while counting the beads and baby can get familiar to the numbers. It keeps baby engaged for a quite good time. It is indeed a smart toy for kid.

Activity Gym– It is a more moveable form of activity table. It is nice and small and can be carried to different rooms easily. It almost has all the features of the activity table. Just the different shape. You can visit the toy shop and see and decide for yourself. So-as to buy what suits you the most.

4)-Kids Kitchen set/Pots and dishes

Babies love this. It’s my personal favorite. It boosts their imaginations. Because babies love to copy. The way they see their parents and in most of the cases, mothers, they tend to copy and do the same things. They eat and make you eat the imaginary food. They pretend cooking.

One humble suggestion, please buy this for your boys as well. Don’t think and make it gender specific. It is equally beneficial for boys and girls both.

5)-Cars

As babies see cars so much these days. It can be a very good addition to their collection. It helps them do the pretend play. As I can say for myself that I have seen my son try to put on his seat belt on his toy car. So, we can safely say that it initiated a pretend play for him. It gives them the real world feel, which is great. The types available for cars are manual (pushing) cars and remote-control cars. You can buy according to the area that shall be available to drive them.

6)- Pop up activity toys

These are my personal favorites. Because they are small and can be carried anywhere. Moreover, if babies develop an interest in this, they can be busy for quite some time. All you need to do is to bring this toy up.

These toys normally have buttons and when you press the button a lid (Lids are number marked) is popped open. An animal or a shape comes out. You can make your baby learn this way.

Also, the buttons are different in shapes. Like the toy I have has rectangle, square, circle and triangle shaped buttons. Babies spend more time for circle shaped button. Because its not easy to open. But hey, is not this just great?

7)- Toy musical instruments

Such as piano. Xylophone etc. For the moments of peace and the development of a habit to sit, play and enjoy themselves. These toys are great for this purpose. and Indeed they are the popular toys for one year old kid.

8)- Balls and a Ball pit

Throwing a ball helps majorly in hand eye coordination. If you play a ‘catch-catch’ game with baby, it becomes so exciting and amazing physical activity for them. It also motivates them to walk or run. Balls are a great idea. You can also buy a ball pit. Your baby shall love sitting in it initially. And shall learn to climb up to come out when he grows up. (haha)

Must Read: 

Baby Shopping List for New Mothers 

Top 10 Pacifiers Facts and Myths every Mom Should Know

Make your own ball pit

That’s all from my side for now. There might be some other great toys or there can be new toys presenting totally a new idea. So, if you have time do visit the market. Do it. Just don’t give into impulse purchases and try to buy the toys that can really be a helping hand in your baby’s physical and mental growth.

Ending note:

If you have an item to add please leave it in the comments so that everything related to this topic remains at one place. It shall be super beneficial for everyone.I am sure you have your own list of smart toys for kids.

P.S: For the ease of writing baby by and baby girl both are mentioned as “He”

[lifeandlaughters-blog]

Top 10 Pacifiers Myth and Facts Every Mom Should Know

Pacifiers were the greatest myth for me when I had my son. It was a big “NO, NO” by everyone around. I used to hear that

The jaw shape shall be changed Teeth shall not be straight It will make him fall ill often So on and on. But I used it anyway.

To tell you the truth, not everything mentioned above is wrong. Most of them are right. But I faced none of this and avoided all. Do you want to know how? I will explain it step by step.

1)- Whom can pacifier help the most?

Pacifier can be of great help to the mothers who have no one else to help them with the babies. Especially the expat women living alone abroad.

2)- When can you start using a pacifier ?

Pacifiers can be of great help to you when your baby is very small. Because very small babies love sucking. It soothes them. It also helps them fall asleep easily. So, it can spare mothers especially those who are alone and have no one else to help them with the baby. Otherwise, you can avoid it if you have many people around. I used it for my son the first time when I took him abroad. He was only 41 days then.

3)- When can pacifiers help you the most?

Here are some places where you can avail benefits from a pacifier.

Air travels: During air travels, pacifiers can be of great help. Babies feel the ear pressures too and it disturbs them a lot. As elders, many people chew gum during takeoff especially. To manage relieving ear pressures. But babies can’t do that. That’s where pacifier helps. I used to keep the pacifier with me during air travel and would only give my son during takeoff and landing.

Must Read: Umrah with Kid Complete guide and tips Night times: For when baby wakes up and does not want to take the feed, pacifier for some minutes can make him fall asleep more quickly and you can rest too. I used to take out the pacifier as soon as my son would fall asleep. However please do not misjudge hunger. Because if your baby is hungry he will not let go of a pacifier. You need to be very extra sure that you fed him well and his belly is full. Then and only then a pacifier can help.

Special occasions: Special occasions like wedding and parties, when you can’t rock your baby to sleep. You can use a pacifier to make them fall asleep quickly. Because with all those heavy clothes and makeup it’s not easy to handle a small baby too. Pacifier can help you then.

I personally did not use a pacifier during the daytime. Unless and until it would turn out to be my only help.

4)-How many pacifiers you should keep?

If you choose to use a pacifier as much as I did or even more if you like. You should have at least two (2) pacifiers with you all the time. And those should be sterilized. Make sure that you keep them clean all the time

5)- Which pacifiers to buy ?

Although I am not a very brand conscious person. However, we shall agree that quality connotation is attached with brands. So, I learned that I should go for only high- and top-quality brands for bottles and pacifiers. I always used Phillips Avent bottles and pacifiers. They are available in different shapes and colors. And are good to use. They also come with instructions to use. Make sure you read all carefully before you start its use.

Thing You need to Buy for a New Born Baby- Baby Shopping Guide

6)-How to buy Pacifiers

Just like feeder bottles, pacifiers are available according to the age of your baby. So, choose one which is suitable for that specific age

7)- Other Pacifier brands

All brands that manufacture feeder bottles manufacture pacifier as well (as per my market survey). So, you can choose tommytippee, juniors, pigeon etc. If you trust a feeder from a specific manufacturer, you can trust their pacifiers too. (Just saying!)

8)- Pacifier essentials

A chain that can tie your baby’s pacifier with his clothes. So that pacifier does not fall if baby consciously or unconsciously throws it away. It is easily available from any shop selling baby stuff.

9)- When to stop using a pacifier

As soon as your baby starts teething, finish its use. Otherwise, all the myth saying shall come true regarding the baby teeth. My baby started teething by the 8th month. So, the pacifier was a total help till then.

10)- How to stop using a pacifier

You will have to soothe your baby for some days after you stop using. You might keep him on your bed at night so that you can make him fall asleep again if he wakes up.

I have seen moms struggling when they stop using a pacifier. Some of them end up using them again at times. But it shall only make the situation difficult for you. Once you stop using, throw away all the pacifiers. Just like “Burning all your boats”. And stop worrying, it is only a couple of says and baby will learn to live without pacifiers. Remember babies are a very flexible creature. They adapt soon. Just trust yourself and you will do this.

General Tips:

Keep two pacifiers sterilized with you at night. I used to do that. It helps if one pacifier falls and is all dirty. In that case, you can use the other one Don’t give a baby pacifier, if he is going to be on different laps in a short time. Because if baby throws a pacifier, the chances are that he will get the same one again. Because not everyone is very careful about hygiene and cleanliness. But babies are very delicate creatures. Be super cautious.

Must sterilize/Boil pacifier once in 24 hours. But I used to do it as and when needed. Wash it with soap before you boil/sterilize it.

 Never use the same pacifier if:

It touches anything, your hand, clothes, diaper bag, stroller. Nothing is clean

It is torn. Throw it away immediately and get a new one

you lose its cap. A pacifier without a cap is wasted pacifier. Throw it

It is not properly sterilized. Like boil it or sterilize it in your sterilizer.

My experience and planning: I was told many things about pacifiers. But I did not trust the word of mouth. I searched and read about it. And I realized that in my case scenario where I was going to live alone and was not in the best of my health too, Pacifiers could be of great help to me. So, I planned its use. Inventions are there to help us. We just need to figure out how much we can afford to take their help and when we need to stop depending on them. However, I would have been very guilty if I could not have stopped its use before my baby started teething. Because the teething problems associated with pacifiers are scary. I did not take the risk and did not experience how pacifiers go with teething, so I cannot and should not really talk about it.

[lifeandlaughters-blog]

What is Postpartum Depression? How to Manage it ?

Post Delivery or Postpartum depression are two names for 1 thing. I shall not talk about the regular bookish stuff on this topic. That you can find on the internet and in the books. I shall talk about it through my personal experience. And I shall talk about how you can make it easier for yourself.

What is Postpartum Depression: That’s What do you feel

As per my experience, one can feel:

Most of the times overwhelmed. Unnecessarily weak Mentally exhausted Feel like running away from tiring and difficult situations Too emotional most of the times or helpless and hopeless Guilty and depressed on small things Emotionally and physically drained Always at the verge of crying

There can be other symptoms. So, all you need to consider is that your body went through a lot of changes during pregnancy and especially after delivery, rapid changes happen. Expect the unexpected and be ready.

Initial days after delivery: What to Expect

Here are something you can expect just after you are done with your delivery period.

You might not:

feel as fit as you felt before.

get proper sleep or get to sleep at all

be able to go out often

be able to resume your work life the way you have always been

You might feel :

guilty for your parenting imperfections at times

 helpless and clueless about baby demands at times

tired of being needed all the time

You might:

start forgetting things often

 feel a lack of concentration

 lose a lot of Hair (No kidding)

All this takes a toll on new mothers. They start feeling helpless, depressed and alone. Especially those who live abroad and there is no one to take care of the baby with them.

How to manage postpartum depression/Anxiety

1)-Surround yourself with your loved ones:

Especially your mother and your sister. Because they can take care of you the way no one else can. They can also bear with your mood swings and will not be angry at you. They shall be able to out sanity back in your life when you need it the most. So keep them close 2)- Ask for house help:

Don’t shy away from asking for help. You need someone to take care of and you cannot do everything by yourself. Accept this fact. So get yourself house help. You can not possibly take care of a very small baby and yourself while doing the house chores. If you do so, it shall affect your health. If not mentally then physically.

Don’t Miss : My Bried Birthstory– what and how I feel the very first time…

3)-Train your Husband beforehand:

Your husband should absolutely know what post-delivery depression is and how can it affect your health. How your behaviors might not be the same. Mood swings can be there more often. You might feel anxiety and depression. He should be all ready to help you. In whatever way he can.

4)- Do the positive gratitude exercises:

It helped me a lot. I had an overwhelming feeling of helplessness, so I started writing “Three things I am grateful for today”. It helped me channel my positivity. 5)- Know that it is going to be over soon:

Well, it does not remain there forever. You eventually touch base with your old self. Your memory is going to come back. Your hair is going to get better (Or you will make your peace with them. Just kidding). So, keep repeating it in your head that night is darkest before dawn.

6)- Ask for medical help:

If your depression is getting worse, there is no shame in asking for medical help. Don’t delay it. You can go straight to your gynecologist if you know nothing about any relevant doctor. Your Gynecologist shall refer you to the right person.

And there is one thing that never gets better after baby:

It is your peace of mind. As mothers we always are worried. It shall probably go on like this forever. I personally call this real baby blues. They remain there for life with us.

Ending Note:

Ladies it’s not going to be easy. Especially if you take a career break for baby. You might feel depressed, worthless, guilty, hopeless and helpless at the same time. But do not let these feelings disturb your sanity. Be grateful for what you have and remain hopeful for what you can still have. And, it is not going to be easy if you choose to work after baby. You will always have that guilt and worry that if it’s all right. You will always keep on judging yourself.

It’s not going to be easy for any mother in fact. It affects everyone to some extent. Some are lucky but remember not everyone is. I am sure you can handle it better if it does not get to you unexpectedly. Prepare yourself

[lifeandlaughters-blog]

7 Don'ts of Marriage- Avoid Conflicts and Maintain Good Relationship

Do you want to make your marriage work perfect all the time? If yes, then I would like to share 7 don’ts of marriage which let you avoid conflicts and  keep your wedding knot intact. Relationships start with such great passion. No matter if those start after marriage or before it. There is always so much energy, positive vibes, and trust. With an urge to know more about each other because in the beginning there is always this element of surprise. Always a feeling of a prized possession, a pride. So, Couple wants to show off this possession to the world with pride. Even if for that time, being together means to be together only digitally. So, Where does the love commitment go which makes a marriage successful? Why can’t this honeymoon period last forever? 

Here is Marriage advice for newlyweds

Here are some tips that can really make your marriage successful if not wonderful. This might shatter some of your most romantic feels about marriage however it can surely help you make your marriage work. As if you go prepared, you will perform better for sure.

1)- Don’t be impatient

Your life has just changed, give each other some time to settle. To live together is going to be totally different from being digitally together (If you had been). Living together means sharing all your life and things with your spouse. No one is used to this or trained for this. So, to say the least, don’t be mad at husband if you see socks on the bed often. And don’t get frustrated if your wife takes time putting on makeup.

 2)- Don’t expect so much

You cannot know everything about each other .Also no matter how big your claims about have been about knowing your partner, there is always going to be some hidden sides of his/her personality which might take you by surprise at times. It does not mean that they intentionally hid this from you. It naturally happens. So, lower your expectations, get ready for surprises 

3)- Don’t tend to be clingy

 It means to be there for each other doing (maybe) different things. Or maybe your partner has different hobbies altogether, don’t feel disheartened. Having different hobbies or pastimes does not mean that you cannot be in a happy marriage. However, make it a point to spend quality time with each other. The idea of spending quality time with your spouse can be different for different people. It can vary from the most romantic idea of fine dining together to most unromantic idea of talking about politics. So, it depends, and it differs. Just do something that makes you feel connected. And my advice would be don’t focus too much on the quantity of the time spent together because it’s really quality that matters the most.  

4)- Don’t stop living your life

 It’s the most insane thing if you stop living your life because you are married. Just keep living your life the way you always have. Meet friends, go to work, have fun, meet your family. Don’t stop eating your favorite ice cream because your spouse has a different taste, for example (lol). Your partner should be a wonderful addition to your life journey and you should feel upgraded. Don’t feel or make your partner feel restricted in any way. Let him/her have endeavors and dreams and let them chase and achieve. But it does not mean not to include your spouse in your life. However, understand the difference. Including someone and making your life all about someone is totally different. 

5)- Don’t let your marriage take outside blows

You know what was the beauty of the relationship in the start? It was just between you and your partner. However, with time other relationships are involved. Husband’s family, wife’s family, and related issues!! Keep your relationship a private affair. Don’t let it take outside blows. It does not mean to live in isolation without families. No, not at all. It means that if other related to you could not settle themselves with your spouse that should not bother you. Your spouse is married to you after all, not them. Understand it and make peace with it. 

6) Don’t think about responsibilities only

Don’t make each-other feel burdened by the responsibilities that automatically befall on a couple due to marriage. Victim of this sudden responsibility baggage of cooking, laundry, home maintenance is usually the wife. So, extend your helping hand in the house chores. Don’t expect perfection. Don’t glorify your mother and her expertise in home maintenance. This shall not help. Just work with her on these tasks because it’s your house too. Further after all you chose her as your companion. Love your choice and support her. 

7)- Don’t be disrespectful towards your spouse, EVER

Respect and trust each-other the way you guys used to do at the start of your relationship. And work hard to maintain this trust and respect for each other. There can’t ever be an overdose of these. The more the merrier. 

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all things you need to buy for your new born baby

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List of Things You Need for a New Baby (Shopping Guide)

Hi Guys, I am going to write about the seven things you absolutely need to have if you are expecting a baby.  I am not mentioning my favorite brands or any brands at all. This post is about just mentioning a list of things you need for a new baby before your baby arrives. However, rest assured that these are going to help you immensely so do not even think to compromise on quality. Get the best of them.

List of Things You need for a new Baby

Now I am going to share details of 7 things you must have , if you want to relax after having a baby. These things will prove helpful for you whether you stay at home or go out with him. So, let’s dig deep into this list.

1.Cot with mattress and waterproof sheet

It’s basically a baby’s own sleeping place. You need not have a proper nursery for your baby. A cot can just be placed in your bedroom near your bed so that it’s easy for you to approach it frequently. Personally, I would suggest you have a proper Cot, that can be used till the time your baby is ready for his own bed. My tip for you is to buy a Cot with one side detachable so that it can be placed adjacent to your side of the bed and easier for you to handle the baby in early days after delivery.

2. Car Seat

It’s about time that we start appreciating the fact that babies are the safest while they are tied and placed in their car seats. So buy the one really good car seat for your baby. Better to buy the one which can be used for long. Place it in your car and make your baby sit in it. It’s a must have, don’t compromise on this.

3. Electronic Rocker/swing – A must in New Baby Shopping

Did you hear those stories which mention that mothers are not able to take bath, relax, eat or maybe breathe? Because babies are so demanding. Forget it now. Get electronic Rocker, put your baby to sleep, place him in that. Switch on the rocker, set to slow swing mode and voila you are good to be away for whatever you want to do.

However, there are some Don’ts of this:

 Don’t leave the baby unattended for long, especially very small babies. Keep the rocker within your sight

 Don’t let your baby sleep in the rocker for long. As soon as you are done with your necessary chores, take the baby to bed if he is sleeping

One absolute advantage of having this device at home is your baby does not develop a habit to be over clingy to mom. Instead of rocking in your lap you can rock him in this electric rocker and can just sit by his side. Give your muscles some rest and let the technology work for you

4. Playmat

The baby play mat is a must-have. Buy one good mat in the start and it can help you till your baby starts walking. So, it’s worth investing. Give your baby proper tummy time daily. I suggest instead of giving the tummy time on the bed, do it on the play mat. Look for following features at the least for a playmat.

It should be big in size (So that you don’t have to buy another when baby starts rolling over)

but should be soft

It should be with detachable boundaries (Place boundaries when baby start rolling over)

Buy the one that comes with music (It shall keep baby busy when he starts sitting)

If you are planning Umrah with Kids Then Don’t Forget to Check my Umrah with kids Complete Guide. 

5. Cot hanging toys

This is a very good investment. These hangings help soothe and amuse your baby with soft music in his early days in this world. And later help to stimulate baby’s brain and create an urge in them to get up and hold them. Try to get good quality hangings and my advice will be to fix the hanging toys on foot side of the baby. So that when you pick up the baby, you do not end up bumping your head or baby’s head in them at night.

6. Baby sleep bag

Get at least two very good quality sleep bags. The stuff of the bag should be according to weather. And my advice is to buy the bag with zips on both sides.  This shall help you in two ways

Place baby in the sleeping bag and then in the cot. Very small babies feel relaxed when tied up

  Place the baby in sleep bag and he can sleep with you on your bed. For there are days when you don’t feel like putting the baby to sleep in his cot

 Frankly speaking , everyone wants to hold the baby, so put your baby in sleep bag and hand over to others. This way others don’t touch the baby with bare hands and baby remains at ease too. Moreover, you will not have to worry about others not holding your precious darling properly.

7. Stroller

Yes, Buy a stroller. It is indeed a must have in your baby shopping. You don’t want to stay indoor all the time, you will have to plan hangout with your baby. So, make sure that you get not just a stroller, buy a really very good stroller. Because it is going to be your most used accessory in days to come. There is quite a good variety of strollers in a market now. My advice will be to buy the one which can change its baby carrying positions, like from straight to carry very small babies to a sitting position to help carry older babies. Search the market and make a wise choice for your family

That’s all from my side. I made a short list of things you need for a new baby. (But I have a plan to extend this list , later) However, I would like to get your comments about this topic. Is it helpful? Give me  your feedback. Do you think I have missed something? If yes, add it in the comments below so that everyone can access it at one place

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About life and Laughters

Hey, I am Fatima Andleeb. I own this blog. It is my personal space to dig in and talk about the human similarities, You might feel different but not distant . Let’s relate, let’s talk