#they lost but i won after this bit
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TOR @ MIN | November 3, 2024
#they lost but i won after this bit#mitch marner#oh these are BAD#not sure if its bc 1) i had to screen record it 2) not used to gif hockey games anymore 3) im just RUSTY bc i havent been giffing anything#at all Lmfao
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I am allowed one (1) self-indulgent gacha game post here a year and I'm using it to show my c6 Shenhe + wep I got with 450 pulls.
#she's the only character Im obsessed with and I started playing literally after her first/only banner ended#WAITED OVER 400 DAYS FOR THAT RERUN#i started with 0 pity and no guarantee since I had just got hu tao#i lost ONE of the 50/50s to mona and won every other time#pulled the weapon in my first 10#stupid post#genshin impact#shenhe#i just noticed my fucking mora number i didn't edit it as a bit i swear lmfao#technically the final pull count was probably like 520 with the glitter payback#'how much did you spend' specifically for this banner $100
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found a book about an edge-long (immortal in service to an hour, Generally) that showed up to the hush house at some point lookin for a fight
the librarian is exactly what they sound like so I'm sort've interested in where that's going to go
#bats speaks#the hush house has a Guardian of sorts that keeps getting brought up#so I'm willing to bet he bit off more then he could chew and fucked off after he lost#or perhaps the guardian is more directly related with an hour then I expect and he got fuckin blown up#or maybe he just won and History Happened#book of hours posting
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guys.... i won
#xelle.txt#i've had my eye on her for two years (ever since she first came out)#but every time she comes back with a rerun there's always a character i also want to get BEFORE AND AFTER her banner 😭#i also wanted to get the other character (wan.derer) but i decided to just end my saga right here and then 😭#the first time i tried to get her i lost my 50/50. i was also on 50/50 now but thankfully i finally won 😭😭😭#she's so pretty i'm gonna stare at her a lot#i prefarmed a little bit for her but still need a lot of stuff.....#is this a gush??? AHAGAGAHAHSJSJ#crush: kokomi
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I just passed the artwork on the wall again.
For the 1000th time wondering why she looks like my daughter with glasses on.
I don't even have a daughter.
#I fucking swear to you I don't do this shit on purposr#maybe I really am that fucked#well if a bitch rises from the dead the dick is so delicious (Smh).....#see the problem is I actually have a conscience about things and I will project my own guilt#the name of the got hard performance said it all#the rest of the time it was what the fuck is this shit#and I wonder if there are actual people there or if it was just another gan#and with humanity .. it could be either one#although I am getting pretty close the saying the party won the hunan race and men lost#like sneaking that hot pic in on me I know what you were doing#btw that conversation where you gave that to me I hated but the pics were too good#I am like....I don't wanna send a pic .. but damn you're hot irl I know#I would like a count of how many times you said where are you located#and we will see how red your ass gets#I might make my own hand hurt for that little bit of I Love you but as your brother I am gonna make you pay#I want you to consider that#and also I will give you at least 4 orgasms for every spank too so *shrugs*#pleasure means pleasure pain means pleasure#yes I did get a case of tunnel vision#everything went a little fuzzy after that but I was awake already when I came to....your ass went night night#also I fully admit I qm ignorant yo your emotional games you do on people#ah but *I* (I am both proud because you can't do it to me...unless I want it) am your greatest challenge#at least remotely#in person I just wanna lick you like a quickly melting ice cream cone in the middle of summer#what the fuck was with my fingers in middle school#what the fuck was that shit#mutation effects certainly but only like teasing of what it was#I mean look I would go as far as I had to#uh....did they take either of you within the confines of nature and time? yes then I can get there fast if I REALLY have to#these are not pleasant experiences attached to my usage of my powers
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Okay so, got here from a book on animal behavior but: Vulcan stand-up comedy as a competitive activity.
Because most Vulcans don't actually pretend they don't have emotions, it's all about self-regulation, right? And good comedy usually hinges on manipulating the relationship between our faculties of recognition and surprise in various ways, you can get pretty scientific with it.
So Vulcans go to the comedy act, and the idea is the comedian is trying to make you crack up, and the audience is trying to not even crack a smile, and if you do laugh, you lose. Like all in good fun, but Vulcans are both really competitive and really aware of how dangerous that urge can be to a society, so this could actually be classified as highly orthodox Surakian practice.
So of course the comedian has to actually be funny, or there's no challenge and the game is boring.
Which means the really good Vulcan comedians (most of whom tend to extremely dry delivery of their bits) are going to go around playing to packed houses, which mostly sit staring stonily back at them, with occasional breaks when someone loses it and reacts.
And after a show you'll have Vulcans walking out discussing with great approval how very humorous that was, with varying degrees of muted smugness or chagrin depending on if they won or lost.
I bet there are human comedians whose grandest fantasy is being good enough to do a set in Vulcana Regatta and have people going around bragging about not laughing at them.
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thinking about kozue asking tsuzuri if they can have a moment to talk and tsuzuri starts quietly screaming bc she thinks kozue is about to be mad at her
#gemitus#lost in the fucking sauce ive followed the hasu cast on twitter i dont even follow aqours.#Genuinely a bit sickening that tsuzuri expected sayaka to leave her after she won that figure skating competition
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The dog I think of as My Dog was picked up from the shelter when I was about 16 and he was six months old. He was a cattle dog mix, which at the time was really uncommon in our area.
We were only getting a dog because my mom was worried about home invaders which was a bit insane as we were out in the country and we’d left our German Shepherd down in Arizona with my dad for complicated reasons.
I turned the corner and saw him. Instant connection. He was curled up dozing, all blue and white freckles with red ears and feeties. His clipboard said “SLY” in huge red letters. I called it softly and he opened his eyes, ears perking. He roused to sleepily amble toward me, lick my fingers, then go lay back down.
My mom joined me in dismay, seeing the love dripping off of me. She hadn’t wanted a puppy but it was clear which dog we were going home with.
Sly was a monstrous puppy. Fans of cattle dogs will be unsurprised to learn he was exceedingly clever, mischievous and Bored a Lot. It turned out his name hadn’t been Sly. It was Billy. But I think we all know why a huge red warning had been applied to his kennel. We named him Sly anyway.
My mom doesn’t remember threatening in earnest to bring him back but it happened. Sly loved to chew. He had no interest in fetch or most toys but he adored chewing. I lost headphones, backpack straps, and pillows to his voracious teething. We tried to dissuade him. He just learned to chew when we weren’t looking. Then one day, clever but not smart, he set his teeth to a plugged in cord and electrocuted himself. He was fine, just really startled!
Thus ended the chewing, forever.
He wouldn’t even pick up toys. He was fully convinced having things in his mouth was only a matter of time before they turned on him. He’d run after a ball at dog parks, grab it in the euphoria of the chase, then immediately spit it out.
He was still a lot of dog and my moms rumblings about his poor behavior led me to join 4H with him. My friend Lia was in with her spaniels so I had an in. We did twice weekly training in obedience and showmanship.
That was it. Sly transformed into the best dog. From a bored unmanageable puppy he became a partner, ready to work on whatever we needed to work on. He learned buckets of commands, eager to please. Sit, down, wait, stand, front, back up, shake, roll, heel. The only thing we could never convince him to do was speak. His bark was reserved for Danger.
We went to compete in the county fair together, entering obedience trials and dog show portions.
The instructions are clearly stated before obedience testing. A dog must stay sitting for two minutes when told to stay, and three minutes for laying down. If our dog broke we were not supposed to speak to reissue commands, simply wait quietly.
It was us in a line with five other dogs. He passed the sitting part just fine. The down one was longer and a wretched golden retriever broke. But then his trainer pulled out a ball and started trying to redirect him with it. The other dogs watched with interest but stayed down. Sly started up. He desperately wanted to herd the golden back into place.
With elbows off the ground he froze, realizing his mistake. His head whipped to me. In silence, I swept my arm down in the nonverbal command for down. He dropped obediently and watched me fixedly for the rest of the time. I think he could feel my disappointment.
We failed.
But the judge came up to us afterward as I was petting him and said, “I was so impressed your dog knows nonverbal commands, and that other dog was so distracting! Let’s retest with the next batch.”
I was thrilled and Sly was steadfast, staring unblinkly at me for the full three minutes with utter determination. He won blue ribbons in obedience and got later best in breed since there was no other cattle dogs.
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Suzanne Collins is one of the few contemporary writers who realizes the importance of names in her stories and the significance they bear. They add so many layers to the story, additional meanings that otherwise would not have existed.
The original trilogy:
Katniss: named after a plant of which you can eat the roots. Her father taught her where to find it and told her that “as long as you can find yourself, you’ll survive” (quote may be a little bit off, but it’s from one of the early chapters in THG). Additionally, the leaves are in the shape of an arrowhead, referencing her skills with the bow which her father also taught her how to use.
Peeta: literally bread lmao. But bread is one of the basic nutritions humans need, a little bit goes a long way to keep you alive. Peeta’s presence in Katniss’s life also kept her alive, literally and figuratively—the burned bread he threw her in the flashback and their complicated relationship.
Primrose: a plant with medicinal purposes, even more significant in light of her work as a medic in Mockingjay.
Gale: literally means “strong wind” and considering that in every encounter with Katniss he’s caused some reaction, he pulls her into directions she maybe initially doesn’t want to go in. Additionally, his name also represents his determination and steadfastness in his beliefs.
TBOSAS
Lucy Gray: named after William Wordsworth’s poem “Lucy Gray” which is about the titular character of the poem who got lost during a blizzard. She literally got lost in snow. Rachel Zegler sang this poem in two parts on the original soundtrack of the movie. When Snow asked who the girl in the song is, Lucy answers that she’s a mystery, just like her.
Snow: aside from the obvious snow references, I think his name is most significant in relation to Lucy and the poem. The only one who knows what caused her disappearance is Snow. He is the reason that Lucy is gone. But her traces in the snow are still visible. He will always remember her because the memory of Lucy has manifested itself in every part of his life.
Coriolanus: named after the Roman general (and also the titular character of Shakespeare’s play), Coriolanus wanted to attack Rome and become its ruler. He was scorned and celebrated by the people, only to be later exiled from the city by them. In TBOSAS, Coriolanus is the star pupil at the Capitol’s academy but sent into exile to the districts after he won the Games with Lucy through cheating.
Volumnia: Coriolanus mother who played a part in his ascent to power. In TBOSAS, she almost serves like a mentor to Coriolanus, teaching him how to think in terms of power.
(Edit) Sejanus: a roman soldier who was betrayed by the roman emperor Tiberius, just like the future president betrayed him.
(Edit) Plinth: got this info from here, but it was too good not to include here. A plinth is a base for a statue or vase to stand on. After Sejanus’s death, all of the Plinth fortune was given to Snow for being such a good to friend him. It was this money that skyrocketed the Snow family from poverty to filthy rich. The Plinth money was the foundation upon which Snow built his power.
There are so many other names that have historical (mostly Roman and Greek) connotations—Plutarch, Seneca, Cinna—but also regular names like Trinket and Beetee bear meanings that represent the character beautifully.
Names are important. For any lover of literature or (aspiring) writers, please look closely at them. They can shape your story into something unique.
Feel free to correct me if I’ve said something wrong. I know there are many names missing, but I can only add so many examples ✊🏻😔
#tbosas#the ballad of songbirds and snakes#the hunger games#thg#katniss everdeen#peeta mellark#gale hawthorne#lucy gray baird#coriolanus snow#suzanne collins#literature
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Recently I decided to go to my local fighting game tournament.
Here's how it went.
I had been getting pretty good at Guilty Gear over the past few weeks, to the point where I was getting the input correctly for the Potemkin Buster 1 out of every 4 or 5 times I tried it. So I thought "I might not be the best yet, but, surely good enough for my local" -- and I decided to go.
It took place at a the comic & games store in the town center. The venue was full of people 10-15 years younger than me and even more drastically cooler. They all turned to glare at me as I walked through the door, but as I stood completely motionless like a gazelle hoping to blend into the grassland, their gazes slowly returned to each other and they continued to banter friendlily.
I sat down next to me first opponent, and reached out to shake their hand. They looked down at my hand, and then up at my eyes slowly.
"You're supposed to do that at the end of the match."
"Oh, s-sorry"
I got perfected twice and lost the match. At the end, I reached out again to shake their hand, but they just stood up and walked away.
Because I lost, I got moved down to the loser's bracket, which was literally below the main tournament because it took place in the basement of the comic shop. I could hear footsteps, cheering, and happy conversation in the floor above. Here in the loser's bracket though, the mood was a lot more somber.
My next opponent reminded me a little bit of me. They were equally nervous and disheveled looking. They said "Um, h-hello" and reached out their hand for a handshake as they saw me approaching. I said "you're s-supposed to do that at the end of the match." But as a look of deep sadness came over their face and they slowly put down their hand, I pulled them in for a hug.
I'm not sure why I did that.
I think that some part of me knew that, in this dark, dank, alien place, illuminated only by a single failing ceiling light and the neon glow of a few arcade machines, I had at last found a friend -- someone I understood, and who might understand me too.
They hugged back.
I lost that match by a very narrow margin, and as they jumped up and began dancing around and cheering ecstatically, I began to hate them. This was no friend of mine. A friend would not do this to me. After they were done dancing, they reached out to shake my hand. After a few seconds of pause, I stuck out my hand too, but didn't look at them and refused to close it around theirs as they grasped it. They shook my karate chop.
I thought that at that point, since I had lost and then lost in loser's bracket, I was free to go home. But one of the tournament organizers approached me and informed me that I was going down to sub-loser's bracket in the sub-basement of the store, and pointed me towards a descending staircase.
The people there were fewer, and it was darker. I could faintly hear sobbing in one of the corners, but as I went to investigate, another participant put his hand on my shoulder. He furrowed his brow in a look of pain and shook his head slowly.
"You can't do anything for them."
In sub-loser's bracket I went up against a man in a suit whose face was cloaked in shadow. He spammed May's dolphin move. I lost.
As I went to go back upstairs, one of the tournament organizers held out her palm to stop me, and pointed towards a staircase leading further down instead.
Going down through the levels, I lost to many interesting participants. One player played exclusively by bashing the controller against his face. One player was a mushroom with a few circuit cables clipped onto it, that I later learned was able to play because its bioelectrical signals got sent to a machine that interpreted them as fighting game inputs. One player didn't touch their controller at all, but instead just told me their life story, which was so tragic that I picked up their controller and won for them.
Finally, at the very bottom floor, where construction standards were long abandoned and the stairs and walls were just messily carved out of the earth's stone, I faced my final player. It was a small bit of metal framework, with a controller nestled in it. On it was a tiny piston that just pressed the jab button exactly once every second. I lost.
I hung my head for a moment, then said "close game" and stuck my hand out for a handshake, before remembering that I had played against a metal framework cube with a piston in it and retracting my hand slowly. Then I heard a slow clapping from the darkness.
"No neutral. No footsies."
Out of the darkness slowly walked a woman about my age, clad in a decorative poofy dress that looked more expensive than my entire life savings. She smiled at me warmly, continuing to clap slowly, but there was a hint of mischief in her eyes.
"No meter management. No mixups. No spacing. No learning. No strategy…
…You're perfect."
"Wh-what?"
"You're perfect. I absolutely must have you."
"Have me for…um…for what…"
(Her eyes went wide as her smile grew more manic.)
"WHY, MY MORON FAILSON HAREM OF COURSE."
"Um, I-I"
"Tell me, what do you do for a living? Let me guess, you work at a fast food restaurant? Or, retail?"
"No, I'm a--I'm a comic artist."
"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! Oh my god, you are PERFECT. What will it take to get you."
"To-to ge--"
"You would be well taken care of, of course. 3 Michelin star dining for every meal. Only the finest, softest sweatpants and sweatshirts, pre-stained with whatever flavor of Takis your little heart desires. You would have access to the entire mansion except for the main foyer when I'm in business calls, and you could make all the comics and play all the fighting games you want."
"I'm uh--"
I knew that I had to think fast here.
"I'm already i-in a moron failson harem."
"Oh, DARN IT!! TELL ME, WHO IS IT??? WHO GOT YOU??"
"I-I think I'm not allowed to s-sa--"
She stomped her foot petulantly, her shoe clacking against the stone floor.
"WAS IT SHUXUAN?? IT'S ALWAYS SHUXUAN HOGGING ALL OF THE GOOD ONES."
"I-I'm sorry," I blurted out, shuffling along the wall to make a wide radius around her and then running up the staircase.
As I got home and began making my standard dinner of Trader Joe's microwave falafel, I thought about her offer. Maybe I should have taken her up on it after all. A 3 Michelin star meal right now wouldn't be so bad.
Then I hopped on Guilty Gear and lost 22 matches in a row.
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"IF YOU WANT, I CAN COME INSIDE?" - SATORU GOJO
✴︎ summary: nobara spots gojo with a sorcerer she's never seen before and of course hijinks ensue. aka hearing gojo's english va (kaiji tang) say the above line in apothecary diaries and i lost my mind. ✴︎ contents: just fluff, gojo being a dumbass, lots of playful knocking gojo down a peg, nobara being an absolute menace, innuendo, implication of sex ✴︎ wc: 713
NK: get over here now. [sends GPS location]
MF: Why?
NK: don’t question it. Just get over here.
YI: on our way.
“What is this—“ and Nobara pulls them back, shushing them, as they hide behind the side of one of the residential suites of Jujutsu Tech, designated for staff or visiting sorcerers, “Kugisaki—“
“Look at who that idiot is talking with—“
“Wow, she’s hot — who’s that?” Yuji blinks, tilting his head, “is she Gojo-sensei’s—“
“Can’t be she’s out of his league—“ Nobara scoffs, still peeking out, “do either of you know—“
Megumi answers, saying your name, “she’s a sorcerer - she’s been away on an overseas mission for a bit,” he shrugs at their curiosity, “I’ve worked with her before — I think that’s where she stays usually when she’s at Jujutsu Tech,”
“She must be pretty strong then, I think the only other person who I know who went overseas for a mission was Gojo-sensei,” Yuji scratches his head, squinting his eyes and straining to hear, “what are they talking about?”
“C’mon, one kiss?” Satoru pouts, his arms crossed to stop himself from reaching out, “it’s been so long and I can’t even touch you,”
“Your students are watching us — you’re the one who didn’t bother to tell them you’re married,” you chuckle, shaking your head, “is this how you want to introduce me?”
And he’s leaning even closer, smirking, warm breath against your ear, “if you want, I can come inside,” and you flush at his inneundo, gaping at him, before you shove him playfully, but he catches you by the wrist, pulling you closer.
“Toru—“ and he presses his lips to yours, smiling, as you melt into his touch.
“Let them watch, I need to welcome my wife back,” and he’s kissing you more insistently, arms sliding behind you to press you to him, your palm resting against his chest.
“EHHHHH?” Yuji and Nobara watch, jaws on the ground, as Megumi plugs his ears, shaking his head.
“Can you two be any louder?” He grumbles, as you and Gojo turn to look at them.
“Megumi!” You grin, walking over, “it’s good to see you — how are the boys?”
He cracks a small smile, “The demon dogs are fine — they liked the treats you got them, thank you,” the two of you talk as Gojo makes his way over as well, hands behind his head as Nobara and Yuji stare at him.
“How do you know her so well?” Yuji points at Megumi.
“Well, her and Gojo kinda helped look after me,” he looks away crossing his arms, as you hide your smile — poorly, as given by Megumi’s slight glare.
“Hey what’s the deal?” Nobara glares, still focused on Gojo, “how’d you bag her? Did you lie? Did you suddenly grow a personality? Did you bribe her?”
Gojo scoffs, laughing, head thrown back, “I just won her over with my infinite charm, of course!”
“Wore me down is more like it, Toru,” you elbow him lightly, “wore me down to the point that I’d marry him,” you roll your eyes, as the pair of students stare at you.
“YOU’RE MARRIED?” they shout at Gojo, pointing, who only rubs the back of his head, smiling.
“Did I…forget to mention that?” He tugs his chain out from under his uniform, a platinum ring attached to it, “I don’t wear my ring because I don’t want it getting messed up from my cursed energy,”
The three of them start bickering as you and Megumi stand, watching, “so this is what it’s like when you’re with them, huh?”
Megumi sighs, “Pretty much,” and you give a soft smile.
“No wonder you’ve seemed happier lately,” you give a small laugh at his bewildered expression before Satoru is wrapping his arms around you.
“Sweetheart, my students are being so mean to me,” and you scoff, rubbing his head.
“I’m 100% sure you deserve it,” and he’s pouting again, but leans into his touch, “come on, let’s have dinner together,” you grab his arm, “It was nice to meet you guys. Let me know if Satoru ever gives you any trouble.”
“Huh? I’m not trouble,” he grumbles, as you kiss his cheek, before he’s leaning close again, lips brushing against your ear, “can I make good on my offer now?”
“…after dinner.”
✴︎ a/n: just a short little thing i wrote before i post on friday :). could not resist writing this quick little thing last night before bed :).
#gojo satoru x reader#satoru gojo fanfiction#satoru gojo x you#gojo satoru fanfiction#gojo x reader#gojo x you#satoru gojo x reader#jjk x reader#jjk fanfiction#jjk fluff#satoru gojo fluff#gojo fluff#gojo x y/n#sab [mlist]
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Imagine werewolf bf x werebunny(?) with a predator/prey kink and werewolf bf chases her in the woods and it’s just total smut and filth.
Hope that makes sense
Hi! <3 I hope you like this, it turned out to be a bit more fluffy than expected.
Little rabbit, bad wolf
Werewolf x fem!werebunny || predator/prey kink, chasing, dirty talk, knotting
It started as a bet. If he caught you, you were supposed to be his bunny maid for a week, costume included. But if he didn’t, he would build you a nice burrow for your heat. It was a good deal, and you were sure you could outsmart him. He gave you a head start, just a few minutes, but you thought it would be enough. So you took off your clothes and ran. You ran as fast as you could and found the perfect little spot to hide your quivering body.
When you agreed to play this with him, you weren’t expecting to be so fucking turned on. You thought it would be fun, but the heat pooling on your lower abdomen, and the slickness between your thighs were a new development. The idea of him running after you, him chasing you… it was driving you insane.
A thousand and one ideas were running around your mind as you hide. What would he do when he found you? Would the big bad wolf eat you? Would he go feral for you? Would he grab you by the hair and pull you to his cock? Would he make you get on all fours and ride you until you were panting and drooling over the forest floor? So many possibilities that were only making your breath faster, harder. You needed to calm down if you wanted him to lose.
He had to look for you for more than ten minutes if you wanted to win, just ten minutes and then you won a new burrow. At least five minutes have already passed when you heard a sound close by.
“Come out, come out, wherever you are…” You could hear his rapid breathing and his joking tone as you hid. “You can’t hide from me, little bunny, I can smell you.” You tried to be quiet, covering your mouth to stop the whimper that wanted to come out, his harsh voice making your pussy tingle.
You thought your hiding spot was perfect, but you didn’t think about your rapid heartbeat, so fast and so loud in your ears that you were worried he was going to find you soon. You didn’t think about your smell, and how good werewolf noses really were. You saw him pass a few meters away, thanking whoever it was up there that he didn’t see you. He kept walking and you lost sight of him, breathing a sign of relief.
Feeling in danger of being caught, you ran again. Bad choice, you realized instantly. You could hear him running behind you. The fire in your veins and the heat in your pussy was making your body push itself beyond anything you thought possible. He was fast, but you were a bunny on a mission. You wanted that damn burrow. But you wanted to get caught so badly, you wanted him to ravish you completely. But you kept running. You wouldn’t lose against a dumb predator, you might be the prey, but you were faster. Or so you thought.
At some point, you stopped to listen, your big ears twitching. You couldn’t hear him anywhere, the forest completely quiet. You should have guessed that was a bad sign. “Here you are!” An arm darted towards your body, you tried to escape but failed. He grabbed you by your fluffy tail and pulled you to him, making you scream. You could feel the heat pooling down on your abdomen. “I caught you. Now I get to eat you, bunny.” His voice was predatory, and you had no doubt you were going to enjoy whatever eating he did of you.
He didn’t give you time to react before you were on your back and his head was buried between your legs. He made out with your pussy messily, all drool and eagerness, pulling on your tail every once in a while. He was so good at that, he ate pussy like a champ and you could only moan as he did so, your mind going blank with pleasure.
You came twice before he growled and launched at you. He manhandled you into your stomach, his big body covered your back, pulling at your hips as he pushed your torso down. You were face down, ass up, when he pounded into you, fast and hard. You were the bunny in the relationship, but he was the one fucking you like a piston, so fast and so hard you couldn’t even scream, your throat raw, your mouth open in a silent scream, drool falling off as you panted.
“Are you going to be a good maid bunny for me?” He asked, you could feel the smirk on his voice. “I bet you will. And you’ll like it. You like to be my little servant, don’t you? You like when I order you around and make you do whatever I want. I bet I could make you suck my cock every evening when I get home. I think I’ll do that. I’ll have you kneeling on the floor and you’ll suck my big fat cock as soon as I get in.” Your pussy twitched around his hardness at that. “I felt that. You like the idea, don’t you? You like the idea of me having total control of you…” You whimpered, his words affecting you more than you thought.
He kept telling you every little detail of all the things he was going to make you do when you were his bunny maid. His words so filthy against your ear, his dick so hard as he pushed into you over and over that you lost your mind completely. He was hitting all your erogenous zones at once and you couldn’t hold back the noises you were making. When his knot started to stretch you out, you screamed. He chuckled and pushed deeper. Grinding his knot against your G-spot. You didn’t see stars, you saw whole galaxies as he made you come over and over. When he finished, he came so deep you could feel it in your sternum.
When he pulled out you felt his cum leaking out, your pussy slick with the mixed juices. “Look at that. Your pussy looks so good all messy with my cum.” You groaned, his words making some aftershocks ran through your body. “Looks like the big bad wolf caught the little rabbit at the end.” He chuckled at his own joke and you moaned, too tired to say anything. “Come on, bunny, let’s go home.” He picked you up and cradled you against his furry chest.
He made good on his promise and you had to suck his cock every day as soon as he got home. He also built you a good burrow so he could fuck you properly during your heat, claiming it was more for him than for you, but you knew better. Your boyfriend liked to chase you down like he was going to eat you, but he was very much in love with you. As you were with him.
#monster#monster fucker#monster imagine#teratophillia#monster boyfriend#terato#request#werebunny#werewolf#werebunny x werewolf#monster x monster#monster x reader
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poison paradise.
pairing: theodore nott x reader.
song inspiration: toxic by omido.
author's note: smutty unhinged theo won the poll. here’s your silly little treat. this came to me in a dream proving that even my subconscious isn't safe from theodore. this is pure filth, but ya'll already know that that's what i do best 🤪
The taste of cherry chapstick lingered on your tongue as your eyes rolled to the back of your head. Lost in euphoria, you cried out just as a wave of pleasure crashed over you, dragging you to the depths of sensual self-indulgence.
Back arching off the bed. Fingers gripping the sheets. Moans echoing off the walls.
This was hedonism at its finest.
The heady scent of sweat, skin, and sex permeated in the air long after your orgasm passed, inducing you into a foggy haze as you scrambled to anchor yourself back to the present. Between your legs, your girlfriend lifted her head up with a pleased smirk and pressed a chaste kiss against your lips.
The kiss tasted like cum and cherries, a sweet and intoxicating combination that sent your head spinning. Hannah hummed, her pretty doe eyes focused on you while your own fluttered open.
“Babe, I’ve really got to get to practice now,” she whispered softly. “I’m late enough as it is.”
You chuckled, twirling a strand of her red hair between your fingers. “Whose fault is that? You’re the one who dragged me in here, love.”
Hannah grinned sheepishly as she pulled your red and gold skirt down. “Can you blame me? I can’t control myself when you’re strutting about in your cheer uniform.”
“Then go out there and give me something to cheer about, babe. I expect a win against Slytherin tomorrow.”
“If Potter doesn’t kill me first for being late,” she said with a final kiss to your cheek. “See you after practice?”
You nodded as you tossed her jersey over. “I’ll be here.”
After taking a much needed shower, you sat in front of the vanity and blasted music as you diligently adhered to your skincare routine. The best thing about having a girlfriend was that you shared everything. Since dating Hannah, your makeup, clothes, and shoe options doubled overnight.
As you combed through your hair, a sudden knock at the door caught your attention. You figured it was just a courtesy from Hannah’s roommate. Merlin knows that the poor witch had walked in on you and your girlfriend in countless compromising positions.
Tightening the scarlet robe around your waist, you sauntered over to the door, fully expecting Emma to greet you from the other side. Instead, a looming figure eclipsed the doorway. You were surprised to find none other than Theodore Nott staring back at you.
While you two weren’t exactly the best of friends given the rivalry between your houses, you and Theo were civil. You sat beside each other in Herbology and occasionally shared a laugh every time you caught him muttering sarcastic remarks under his breath about the ridiculous bloody plants that Professor Sprout had you wrangling during class.
“Well, what do we have here?” you teased, cocking your head at the dead eyed Slytherin. “A serpent in the lion’s den? What brings you behind enemy lines, Theo?”
Theo smiled back in response, shuffling a bit and allowing a glimpse of the wine bottle and bouquet of roses cradled in his arms. “Waiting for my girlfriend to leave so I can set this up for our anniversary.”
You grinned. “Oh, how romantic!” You had always been a sucker for cheesy gestures. It was the hopeless romantic in you. “Come in, then.”
To his credit, Theo kept his eyes firmly on your face as you ushered him inside the room. Taking the hint, you quickly excused yourself to the bathroom and changed into something a little less revealing than your silk robe. When you came out, Theo was sprinkling rose petals on the bed.
“Those are gorgeous,” you fawned over the flowers. “You’re definitely getting laid tonight.”
Theo smirked in response as he set the vintage wine bottle into a fancy crystal ice bucket. “That’s the plan.”
Slipping into your fuzzy slippers, you cocked your head at the arrangement. “Wait. I think you set it up on the wrong side. Emma’s bed is over there.”
Theo nodded absentmindedly. “Yeah, I know. This is for Hannah.”
Whatever warm, fuzzy feeling his sweet gesture invoked suddenly soured at the mention of your girlfriend’s name. “What do you mean it’s for Hannah?”
“Hannah,” Theo repeated slowly. “As in, my girlfriend, Hannah.”
The words hit you like the Hogwarts Express. Surely, Theo was mistaken. He had to be. That was the only explanation. “This can’t be right. I’m sure I heard you wrong. You can’t be dating Hannah.”
The confusion in your face was mirrored in Theo’s features. “And why is that?”
“Because I’m dating Hannah.”
Theo stared at you. You stared back. The room fell silent as the declaration hung heavy in the air.
“Wait,” he backtracked, furrowing his brows. “What? That’s not possible.”
“We’ve been dating since term started.”
“We’ve been dating since summer,” Theo countered. Disbelief dawned over his handsome features. “This is for our three month anniversary.”
Desperate to make sense of the situation, you pulled out your phone and scrolled through your photo album. It didn’t take long to find a recent picture of you and Hannah. “See?” you said, pointing at the screen. “This is us sharing a hot fudge sundae in Hogsmeade just last weekend.”
Theo’s mouth gaped open as he pulled out his phone in response, scrolling through his pictures just as you had done moments ago. “This is us swimming in the lake last July.”
The photo of your girlfriend smiling up at the camera while Theo’s arms wrapped around her bikini clad body made your stomach plummet. The confirmation left a bitter taste on your tongue. There was no reason for Theo to be making this up, which left only one possible conclusion. Hannah was dating both of you. At the same time.
You pursed your lips. “Hannah played us both.”
Theo looked about as dejected as you felt. “I can’t believe I didn’t realize it,” he muttered to himself.
“All that tension between you during the quidditch match,” you recalled. The lingering looks that Hannah and Theo shared during last month’s scrimmage flashed before your very eyes. In hindsight, it was obvious that there was more to it than rivalry.
“You know, I think I saw her kiss you on the cheek in the halls once, but she said that the two of you were just really close.”
“Oh, we are,” you said rather bitterly. “She’s kissed a lot more than my cheeks. Gods, how could I have been so stupid?”
“You’re not stupid,” Theo said softly. “How could we have known? Outside of Herbology, the two of us don’t really interact. We’re in different houses and our social circles rarely overlap. If you think about it, it’s actually the perfect plan.”
“Yes, bravo to our girlfriend for being the cleverest fucking liar in the castle.” You winced at the title. "Correction, ex-girlfriend."
Nott nodded in agreement. "Definitely ex-girlfriend."
"What a bloody mess."
Theo rubbed his temples. “Well, fuck.” The sentiment of total and utter confusion was one you knew all too well. “I am way too sober for this.”
Without a word, he swiped the bottle of wine from the crystal bucket and popped it open. You stared at him with slight bewilderment, which he responded to with a nonchalant shrug. “What? It’s not like I’m going to drink this with Hannah now after I found out that she’s been lying to me for three whole months.”
While Theo was taking the perfectly understandable approach of getting absolutely pissed off his arse, you weren’t willing to take the hit so easily. You were angry. Correction, you were fucking livid. Seething in the heat of your fury, you snatched the wine bottle from Theo’s grasp and chugged a good amount.
“That’s a vintage from my family’s vineyard. You’re supposed to sip slowly to really appreciate the flavor—“ Theo grimaced as you leveled him with a glare. “Or drown yourself in it. That’s fine, too.”
You swayed on your feet as you gestured dramatically. “I can’t believe she cheated on me!”
Who the fuck did Hannah think she was? You didn’t need this bullshit. She was the one who chased after you. Before she pursued you, you were perfectly fine ruling this school under your thumb, flashing pretty smiles and innocent doe eyed looks to the unsuspecting masses. You were head cheerleader, for fuck’s sake! You could’ve had your pick of boys and girls in this whole bloody castle. Even worse, Hannah dragged Theo into this too. While the Slytherins certainly had a reputation, he seemed sweet if not a little sardonic and cynical at times.
”I can’t believe she cheated on you.” You added, surveying the now tainted roses and wine. Indignation weighed heavily on every word. You and Theo were both hot as fuck and a complete catch. Neither of you deserved this. “We can’t let her get away with this.”
Theo sighed in response, taking the bottle from you and drinking a decent amount before wiping his wine stained lips with the back of his hand. “If I’m being honest, this isn’t the first time a relationship has imploded on me. Usually, it’s my fault. But I can’t say I’ve ever gotten cheated on. My ego’s taken a little bit of a blow, but what can we do? She fooled us both.”
“What can we do?” You repeated incredulously. “Obviously, you haven’t dealt with a Gryffindor’s wrath before. This is a matter of pride, Theo. She hit us where it hurts the most. I say we hit her back.”
Theo blanched, his watercolor eyes glazed from the alcohol. The wine was no joke. You never would’ve known it from the smooth taste, but this shit was strong. “As upset as I am, I hardly think violence is the answer. My mum told me to never raise a hand against a lady and I don’t intend on breaking that promise. No matter how angry I may be.”
For the first time in that fucked up night, you managed a laugh. Something about that was so endearing to you. “Relax, Nott. I don’t mean we hurt her physically. That’s not really my style. I have a much more effective way to enact revenge.” Your lips curled into a smile as Theo hung onto every word. “We’re going to wage psychological warfare on our ex-girlfriend, Theo.”
“I’ll confess I’m a little bit scared,” Theo declared as he gulped down the last of the wine. “And a little bit turned on. Guess that says a lot about me, huh?”
You smirked as you retrieved the wine bottle and gingerly set it on the nightstand. Theo glanced up at you curiously, anticipation evident on his handsome face. “What exactly is the plan, dolcezza?”
Whether it was the alcohol or your anger, a devious plan started forming as you looked over your ex-girlfriend’s now ex-boyfriend. “Hannah comes back from practice in an hour,” you stated, toying with the neck of the bottle. “She’s expecting to find me in bed waiting for her.”
Mischief danced in Theo’s eyes. Up close, you could see flecks of green swimming in his blue irises. Those mesmerizing eyes—the very same ones that had the entire castle weak in the knees—locked on yours. Now that you were single through no fault of your own, you had no reason not to ogle Theo and ogle you did. Your gaze flickered over his lean physique, examining his solid chest and broad shoulders before snagging on the sliver of skin that revealed the hard abdominal muscles beneath his light grey shirt as he stretched. A cocky smirk graced his handsome face when he caught you looking.
Merlin, he was fucking pretty.
How had you not noticed that before? Oh, right. You were too busy being a good girlfriend. Well, fuck that.
“Oh?” He murmured, his gaze flickering over you.
Though you changed into a baggy shirt and cotton shorts, you might as well have been naked with the way Theo was looking at you. His dead eyed stare burned holes into your skin and a shiver crawled up your spine as he gravitated closer.
“And she will,” you said with a smirk, closing the gap between you. “You’ll just be in it with me.”
“Oh,” Theo hummed salaciously.
“Wouldn’t wanna waste those pretty roses you got, do we?”
The low rasp of your voice seemed to entrance Theo as he shook his head, appearing dazed as you pulled him in by the front of his shirt. “No, no at all. We should…” The nervous bob of his Adam’s apple sent a thrill through your body. “We should definitely make use of them.”
With a grin, you led him towards the bed. Theo walked backwards, his eyes never leaving yours even as he landed on the mattress. The golden glow of the lamp kissed his sharp cheekbones, its warm hue coloring the slope of his nose, which were smattered with moles and freckles, before emphasizing his wine stained lips. The red roses fluttered around him as the bed dipped, soft petals tickling his skin as he settled against the headboard.
Theo felt like he was under a spell as you crawled over him. He couldn’t tell whether he was dizzy from the wine or if it was just the effect you had on him, but either way, he wasn’t complaining. There were worse things to suffer from than a pretty witch straddling his lap.
Instinctively, Theo gripped your waist while you settled over him. The sight of you leaning over him, your face mere inches away from his felt like a fever dream. One that he had no desire of waking up from.
“I thought you liked girls,” Theo whispered softly as your lips brushed over his. Teasing, taunting, tasting. Fuck, what he would give to have you devour him whole.
“I do,” you replied, tickling his cheek with a rose petal. Theo shivered as the low rasp of your voice pulled him in. “But I like boys too. Especially pretty ones like you.”
Theo couldn’t help but blush. Obviously, he was aware that he was attractive, but he’d never been called pretty before. He was surprised to find that he really fucking liked it.
“Don’t flatter me, dolcezza. Not unless you plan on following through.”
“I’ve never been with a Slytherin before,” you whispered huskily. “Tell me, Theo. Will you sink your teeth into me tonight?”
A part of him pondered the slightly fucked up situation that Theo managed to get himself into tonight. Was he really about to fuck his ex-girlfriend’s ex-girlfriend in her own bed? Yes. Did he feel an ounce of guilt over what he was about to do? No.
Honestly, fuck Hannah. But more importantly, Theo needed to focus on fucking you.
“Fuck yes.”
When you leaned in and pressed your lips against his, it was over. There wasn’t a single trace of self control in him as he kissed back, his mouth hot and eager against yours. The infamous Gryffindor boldness didn’t disappoint as you moaned into his mouth, your fingers threading through his silky brown waves before tugging in a way that made Theo weak in the knees. As he parted your lips with his tongue, you grinded against him and laughed seductively when he whimpered in response.
“Yeah?” you purred as you rolled your hips. “You like that, pretty boy?”
“Bloody fucking hell,” Theo groaned before he kissed you again, rougher this time.
There was something satisfying about the way he grabbed you, his big hands guiding you to grind over him, providing a delicious friction between your clothed sex. Theo was hard and throbbing underneath you. By the feel of him, you knew you were in for a ride. The sheer size of him was going to absolutely destroy you.
You pulled away and a glistening trail of spit extended between you as a result of your sloppy make out. Theo panted as you tugged at the hem of his shirt, keeping your eyes trained on him while you licked a path down his abdomen. He watched hungrily as you grazed your teeth over his hard muscles, flicking your tongue expertly while he shuddered underneath you.
“I can see why Hannah went for you,” you hummed against his tan skin. “You’re hot as fuck. Your abs are unreal and your happy trail,” Theo groaned as you pressed soft kisses along his torso. “It leads to something delicious, doesn’t it?”
“Fuck, bella. You’re killing me,” Theo groaned as he fisted your hair in one hand. The whimper that slipped past his lips as you palmed his cock was utterly shameless. “You’ve got a filthy fucking mouth, Y/N.”
“Yeah? Shut me up, then.”
His head lolled back against the headboard as you released his cock from his boxers, stroking purposefully and savoring the filthy moans that echoed against the walls. Those pretty eyes of his were nearly black with lust as he looked down at you, biting his lip while your tongue swirled over the head of his cock. Licking up his precum, you smirked before fully wrapping your lips around him.
Theo tugged at your hair and bucked against your mouth as you sucked, licked, and pumped every inch of his thick, hard cock. You knew you were good, but the desperation in Theo’s voice all but confirmed it.
“Dio mio, right there. Fuck, you’re perfect. Your throat was made to be fucked. You can take it, bella. Choke on my cock, just like that.”
You gagged as he hit the back of your throat. Sucking dick had never been your favorite, but sucking Theo’s dick was something else. He looked so pretty with his waves plastered to his forehead, rosy cheeks flushed as he fucked your face with a dominance that had you growing wetter by the second. Tears streaked down your cheeks as you choked on his cock, but it was worth every second to hear Theo moan your name.
“Fuck, Y/N,” hissed Theo after a particularly rough thrust. You could tell he was close by the way his body seized underneath you, but you weren’t done with him yet. You wanted more and so did he. “So fucking close, but I don’t want to come yet. I need…Fuck, I need more.”
You released him with a pop, but kept stroking him with your right hand. “Use your words, pretty boy.”
“I want to feel you,” Theo whined. “I need to feel your pussy clenching around my cock, principessa. I need you so fucking bad. I’d get on my knees to be inside of you. Please.”
“You sound so pretty when you beg,” you said as you kissed his temple. “Who am I to refuse?”
Theo watched as you shuffled above him, barely breathing as you slipped out of your clothes. When you threw your shirt off, Theo cursed to find you completely bare before him. He cupped your tits, flicking his thumb over your nipples before wrapping his lips around them. You could tell he was eager to please and that alone was a huge fucking turn on. It was rare to find a man who cared about pleasure beyond his own, which is why you usually preferred women. Theodore Nott seemed to be the exception.
With rapt attention, Theo helped you lower down onto his length. He kept his eyes on you as you adjusted, gasping when your walls stretched to accommodate his size.
“You know, I thought the rumors about you were exaggerated,” you groaned as you sank lower. “But I’ve never been so glad to be wrong.”
Theo smirked as he nibbled at your earlobe. “What kind of rumors, dolcezza?”
“That you had a huge dick,” you responded, sounding slightly winded once Theo was finally fully sheathed inside of you. “And that you fuck like a—“ You moaned when Theo shifted his hips to rut into you. He was so big that the minuscule movement felt like you were being split apart.
“That I fuck like what, bella?”
Never one to be outdone, you tugged at his hair and grinded against him. “That you fuck like an absolute demon.”
“Yeah?” He drawled, sliding in and out of you with a cocky smirk. “Well, you’re no angel either, Y/N.”
“You haven’t seen anything yet, Theo.”
The sight of you bouncing on his cock and riding the fuck out of him was almost too much. Theo was mesmerized as you used him to get off, head thrown back as you placed your hands on either side of his legs before bending in an angle that he wasn’t even sure was possible for a human to contort to.
Damn, he should’ve fucked a cheerleader sooner. He should’ve fucked you sooner.
“I guess you’re not the only one who listened to the rumors. They said you were flexible, but goddamn, this is something else. You’re something else, Y/N.”
“Oh fuck, Theo,” you keened as you gripped the sheets. “You’re so big. It feels so fucking good, baby.”
“I like the way you moan my name,” he said. “Gods, I could’ve had this all along. Why was I even wasting my time with Hannah? Sei una fottuta dea.”
“I have no idea what you just said,'' you panted, picking up the pace. Your legs ached from the effort, but it felt too good to stop. “But I’m soaked now.”
“I said,” Theo grunted as he fucked up into you and tugged your hair back. “You’re a fucking goddess, Y/N.”
When he rubbed circles on your clit, you absolutely lost it. The room spiraled around you as you came hard, creaming Theo from tip to base. He pulled out suddenly, making you whine at the loss of contact until he replaced his cock with his mouth. Theo flattened his tongue, licking up along your soaked folds. His nose brushed against your already sensitive clit and you cried out as he lapped you up like a man starved.
“Can’t take anymore,” you whined, tears pooling in the corner of your eyes as you pushed against Theo’s broad shoulders. “It’s too much. I’m so sensitive.”
Theo gripped your ankles and spread your legs wider. “Where’s that Gryffindor bravery, bella?” He chuckled, tracing circles on the inside of your thighs. His mouth glistened with your cum and rose petals stuck to his skin as he looked up at you. “Surely you can take more. We barely just started. I want you drenched in tears. Shaking, crying, and moaning my name. Right now, you’re not even close.”
He sucked on your clit and you swore to Godric your eyes rolled back so hard that you saw heaven. Theo was determined to drive you to the brink of insanity. “I know you want it, baby. Let me make you feel good.”
“Oh gods,” you cried out as he filled you with two fingers. It wasn’t as much of a stretch as his cock, but the way he curled them inside of you, touching that sensitive spongy spot within your walls made you whimper all the same. “Fuck, yes, gods. I want it. I want you, Theo.”
A satisfied smile graced his handsome face before Theo flipped you over, pressing you headfirst into the pillows as he feasted on your pussy from behind. There wasn’t a single thought in your head as he unraveled you with his tongue and fingers. It was a deadly combination that had you on the edge quicker than you thought possible.
“Turn around, principessa,” Theo cooed. “Come ride my face.”
For Godric’s fucking sake. The man was absolutely insatiable. You liked to think that you had excellent stamina. Most of the time your partners struggled to keep up with your pace, but Theo was seriously challenging that. You didn’t know if you could come three times in a row without passing out, but tonight was as good as any to find out.
Theo rewarded you with a sloppy, open-mouthed kiss before positioning your thighs on either side of his head. You held onto the headboard above him. Part of it was for balance, but mostly to keep yourself from collapsing all together. You felt so overstimulated that the line between pleasure and pain was blurring by the minute, but still, neither one of you had any plans of stopping.
At this point, you actually couldn’t give less of a fuck about revenge. Hannah had long become a thing of the past. It seemed ironic that you and your ex-girlfriend were in this exact position mere hours ago yet you couldn’t even recall anything past the Slytherin fucking you with his tongue.
“Theo, oh my fucking gods,” you cried out as you grinded against his mouth. “Right there. Yes, that’s it. So good.” Theo squeezed your thighs in response, which elicited a hoarse laugh out of you. “You like when I praise you, pretty boy?”
Theo hummed against your clit and squeezed your ass in confirmation. “You’re so pretty when you’re eating my pussy,” you cooed, brushing his wavy locks back. “But you’re even prettier when you’re fucking me.”
That seemed to be all the encouragement Theo needed. Before you knew it, your back was against the mattress as he hiked your legs over your shoulder. Theo slipped in easily, thanks to the juices coating both his tongue and cock now that he was filling you up again.
“How’s the view now, principessa?” Theo asked with a cocky smirk.
You bit your lip as he pounded into you, holding your gaze with every sharp thrust. His tanned skin glistened with sweat and his muscles flexed while he buried himself inside of you again and again, watching you take all of him with rapt attention. His balls slapped against your ass every time his hips snapped to yours, drilling so deep that you struggled for words.
“The best in the castle,” you quipped back, putting on a serene smile as Theo grunted and fucked any and every coherent thought right out of you.
Neither one of you noticed the door opening nor the sound of the broom hitting the floor. You were too busy staring into Theo’s pretty eyes to care.
He turned your head towards the door, but didn’t stop fucking you as Hannah watched with her mouth hung wide open. Theo made sure that your ex-girlfriend had a clear view of the money shot as he claimed you with his mouth, moaning your name against your lips as he came with a loud cry. He filled you to the brim and you could feel him leaking out of you and onto the sheets as your eyes rolled back.
Theo collapsed on top of you, sweaty and sinful. As you lay boneless and blissed out of your mind, you couldn’t quite believe that you’d just fucked your ex-girlfriend’s ex boyfriend. In her own bed, nonetheless. If that wasn’t poetic justice, you didn’t know what was. Merlin, you hadn’t gotten shagged like that in—well, ever. The Slytherin really knew how to slither in. You lifted your head to find Theo already looking at you. When you made eye contact, the two of you burst into laughter.
Your ex-girlfriend, on the other hand, was not as amused. “What the fuck!” Hannah screamed.
Her shrill voice brought you out of the post haze aftermath of your earth shattering orgasm. Completely unbothered, you stretched lazily and waved your fingers at Hannah. Theo smirked as he tugged his sweatpants back on, but opted to remain shirtless as he pulled his oversized shirt over your head like a proper gentleman. You were grateful, since you had absolutely no desire to walk around in your ex-girlfriend’s clothes. Plus, it didn’t hurt that Theo looked absolutely delicious from the afterglow.
You bit your lip, already thinking of all the ways you’d like to have him. Again and again. As often as possible.
With a little smile, you met Theo’s gaze. It was clear that neither of you had any intention of calling it an early night. You had a feeling that you had a lot of sleepless nights ahead of you. Theo looked like he wanted to tear you apart and you were more than willing to let him. “My dorm?”
“Whatever you say, dolcezza,” Theo said as he slipped his fingers through yours. “You could lead me off the astronomy tower and I’d follow.”
Theo didn’t bother looking at Hannah as the two of you passed her. You, on the other hand, couldn’t pass up the chance to get the last word in.
“By the way, we’re breaking up with you. Have fun cleaning up the mess.”
Theo chuckled darkly as he tugged you out into the hallway, smacking your arse as the two of you raced back to your dorm. Behind you, your long forgotten ex-girlfriend gaped as she watched her ex-girlfriend and ex-boyfriend walk away hand in hand.
#yes i know this is unhinged but i dreamt it so now you all have to deal#theo nott#theo nott x reader#theo nott x you#theo nott x y/n#theo nott smut#theo nott imagine#theodore nott x reader#theodore nott x you#theodore nott#theodore nott smut#theodore nott x y/n#theodore nott imagine
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mad!max whose a shameless simp for his younger girlfriend. more so because people hate him for dating a 20 year old but that man doesn't give af
idk who u r. but I love u. this shit FUELS me.
max x fem!FERRARI!reader.
mad!max truly doesn’t give one singular fuck.
you’re his girlfriend, the love of his life. this man bought a cat and named it after the circuit because you won a race there.
mad!max who buys you whatever your want. and I mean whatever you want. you mentioned when you first joined f1 that your favourite colour was pink (sorry if it isn’t!) and suddenly everything in your shared home years later is pink?
this man is obsessed to every degree and fuck does everybody know it.
lando said once “yeah I wouldn’t try overtaking y/n. max is known for getting a bit.. mad when she loses.” and everybody waved it off - simply saying max was a bit obsessive - and he was completely correct. this man cares MORE about YOU winning than himself.
“yeah I heard max contemplated going to ferrari when it was announced y/n was going there.” cue christian horner having a breakdown for the 82721 time.
you’re a ferrari driver - and fuck me do the tifosi love you, but that’s for a different day - and you happen to have captured the hearts of every local. there’s streets named after you, hotels with your last name in the tittle (max stays at them all and rates them, lol).
oh remember that one time lando hit you during a race and made you dnf? yeah I do too because max got out the car (after the race) and threatened to punch him after pushing him.
you’re six years younger than your mad bf and the fans were worried how the age gap would play out - and then they saw you practically walking around with max on a leash. forget the term a lost puppy this man is a lost SOUL.
“yeah she’s younger but she’s everything to me.” he all but shouts at a disrespectful interviewer. max takes great delight in this. in being mean to the people who deserve it. you were younger sure, but you could practically do anything to him tbh.
but anyway! max once bought you a handbag (by once I mean for the 82nd time that year) to match his outfit for that week. he claims that you’re his girlfriend so of course your gonna have to match him? duh?
I live for this shit.
#f1 x reader#max verstappen x reader#f1 x y/n#f1 x you#f1 fanfic#f1 x driver!reader#max verstappen#max verstappen x you#max verstappen imagine#mad!max#f1 x female driver#max verstappen x female reader#f1 x female reader#mad!universe
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LOVE ON AiR
SYNOPSiS » two podcast groups, both equally popular on the internet, start interacting with one another. however it isnt how fans want it to be.. OR yn sees sunghoon hating on lauryn hill and accidentally starts an entire fanwar with him.
PAiRiNG » sunghoon x fem!reader
FEAUTRiNG » all of enha, giselle of aespa, txt briefly mentioned
GENRE » smau (social media au), fluff, angst, enemies to lovers (barely), chronically online humor, romance, podcast au, influencer au, HEAVILY inspired from suburb talks and under the influence podcasts, SLOWBURNN
WARNiNGS » profanity, suggestive humor, kys/kms jokes, lots of pop culture references (im chronically online im sorry), drinking, drugs, fanwars, yn haters (BOOOOO), stalking (sorta?) manipulation (NOT FROM SUNGHOON OR Y/N) changes every chapter.
STATUS » completed — (08/03/24) to (10/26/24)
PLAYLiST » your eyes only - enha, after midnight - chappell roan, ex factor - lauryn hill, kiss me - dpr live, read your mind - sabrina carpenter, 3005 - childish gambino, poison poison - renee rapp, thirst - dpr live, just a little bit - enha, daisy - wave to earth, nouvelle vague - wave to earth, thinkin about you - frank ocean. (got carried away .. 😁)
AUTHORS NOTE » BIGGG thanks to my bestest friend ever, my fav british person, @lqfiles , ily so so much and thank you so much for helping me with this process. teaching me how to work tumblr like i was a grandma even tho im only 2 years older than u and making this AMAZING cover (isnt she talented), i love u sooo much more than words can describe, you annoying brit (endearing) 🫶
TAGLIST CLOSED!
written chaps in blue
🔴 RECORDING..
teaser (read first for context!!)
profiles i & profiles ii
1) call my phone a vibrator the way it keeps buzzing
2) YAP CENTRAL EP.135: alpha male podcasts?!
3) first hate thread. feeling nervous
4) pussy slay queen!
5) okay alpha
6) ROUND TABLE EP.149: perfect pitch :o
7) 1 down 3 to go
8) what the fuck is a ynhoon
9) YNXOXO VLOG: night out w/ won and riki
10) wet and bothered
11) just a normal tuesday
12) jungwons evil arc
13) YNXOXO VLOG: cafe date with my girls <3
14) the battle of thirst traps
15) twitch streaming era
16) YAP CENTRAL EP.136: did social media ruin relationships?
17) second interaction: kinda scared
18) fuck skater boys
19) park sunghoon v. round table
20) riki emo era: OVER
21) sunghoons side hoes
22) ROUND TABLE EP.150: we traded phones?!
23) bro define: friend
24) spidey sense
25) on my cellular plan i pay for?
26) YNXOXO VLOG: night time routine + surprise!!
27) a face i would kiss
28) collab of the century
29) YAP CENTRAL EP.137: has love lost its meaning?
30) eyes don’t lie
31) operation: ynhoon (postponed)
32) crybaby
33) operation: ynhoon (BACK ON)
34) chat is this a date yes or no?
35) boss baby jay
36) boyfriend
37) soft or hard?
38) what da heck *tyla voice*
39) YNXOXO VLOG: ice skating! | vlog w/ a special guest!!
40) love is on air
UNCUTS
1) operation: get riki ip banned on twt
2) try not to blow up challenge: FAILED
3) JAYS KITCHEN: my friends trying to help me make food blindfolded. (spoiler: it’s a fail)
4) YNXOXO VLOG: my boyfriend does my makeup voiceover !
5) YAP CENTRAL BLOOPERS: riki kat and yn patreon ad
© all rights to pshbites 2024
#enhypen#enhypen scenarios#enhypen fluff#enhypen smau#enhypen imagines#enhypen social media au#enhypen sunghoon#sunghoon#sunghoon smau#sunghoon fluff#sunghoon imagines#sunghoon x reader#enhypen x reader#sunghoon scenarios#park sunghoon#pshbites#sunghoon x you#enhypen x you#sunghoon social media au#pshbites: love on air
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blowing smoke | max verstappen
summary: you broke up with max a few months ago but that doesn’t prevent you from feeling upset about his new relationship
fc: gracie abrams
a/n: max won the spanish gp and gracie released her album in the same week so ofc that meant i had to make a fic about max inspired by gracie’s album and use her as a faceclaim again ofc ofc
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liked by charles_leclerc, redbullracing and others
maxverstappen1 nice winter ❄️
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username uhm … sir … that’s not yn ???
username well they did broke up like 2 months ago sooo
username still a bit early, no?
username we love a padel king 🙌🏽
username RARE SHIRTLESS MAX
username the second pic … no need to make me feel single like that
username who’s the new gf tho? 👀
username oh so my parents are over over okay i see 😔
liked by francisca.cgomes, alexandrasaintmleux and others
yourusername back at my second home 🎧
tagged aarondessner
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username MOTHER IS BACK
username new music from yn the earth is healing !!!
alexandrasaintmleux la plus jolie💗
yourusername that would be you🫵🏽
username this breakup album is gonna be heart wrenching isn’t it 😔
username if aaron is participating i just KNOW is gonna be painful
username no i’m already preparing myself mentally to drown in my own tears
liked by f1wags and others
f1gossip max verstappen and his new girlfriend during the winter break
tagged maxverstappen1 and gfusername
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username why does he look bored with her
username cause he is
username ??? you don’t know them, leave them alone
username guys this is not funny i miss yn 😔
username her style is so good!
username i don’t like herrrr she gives me bad vibes
username fortunately you’re not the one who has to like her
liked by maxverstappen1, iamrebeccad and others
gfusername my valentine💘
tagged maxverstappen1
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username oh!
username first pic 🥰🥰
username last pic 😍😍
username that should be me!!!
username okay yeah she’s pretty
username they look so good together🥰
username someone check my girl yn’s pulse!!
username honestly i would k word myself if i lost THE max verstappen
username nahhh yn > max
liked by landonorris, oliviarodrigo and others
yourusername back to my ways like 2019
tagged sabrinacarpenter
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username ohhh she saw the post
username girl no!!! come back to 2024!!!
raye ohhh yes! 🍸
username omg 2019 yn you will always be famous ‼️
username okay but escapism is definitely her song
alexandrasaintmleux 🥰
username alex doesn’t approve i see
username guys i don’t know but partying and getting wasted every night like she was doing before meeting max doesn’t seem like the healthiest coping mechanism
username maybe she just wants to have fun now that she’s single 🤷🏽♀️ we can’t judge
username exactly! let her live
liked by gfusername, danielricciardo and others
maxverstappen1 great to be back! let’s go for more victories 🏆
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username to another year of hearing the dutch anthem every sunday
redbullracing for more career wins this year 🦁
username bro really posted a thirst trap for his first race win of the year
username no because the sun hitting his face like that ??? can’t complain
username lovely win 😮💨
username sooo babygirl
username he really is for the girlies!
gfusername 💗💗💗
liked by f1wags and others
f1gossip max verstappen at the after party of the saudi arabian grand prix seen without his girlfriend despite her attending the race
tagged maxverstappen1
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username max with a backwards cap is gonna be the end of me
username only man with a basic wardrobe that can look that hot
username 🥵 🥵 🥵
username WHY IS NO ONE TALKING ABOUT THE CAPTION
username without … the girlfriend … despite her being at the race …
username you’re reading too much into it
username let us be delusional in peace
username good for him!
liked by gfusername, sabrinacarpenter and others
yourusername now you know what we’ve been doing …. “Blowing Smoke” is out now! ⭐️
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username my girlfriend is releasing music again !!!
username song of the summer frrrr
username im obsessed with it 😍
lilymhe certified pop banger🤘🏽
yourusername a hole in one if i may 👀
username “if she’s got a pulse she meets your standards now” damn…
username she didn’t go to the studio to play
username “you couldn’t point her out in any crowd”
username “tell me if she takes you far enough away from all the baggage you've been carrying”
username “you feel nothing and yet you still let her”
username she wrote so many unhinged lyrics it’s insane‼️
alexandrasaintmleux favorite song ever 💞
yourusername you say that about all of them 🙄
alexandrasaintmleux they’re all amazing!
liked by alexandrasaintmleux, taylorswift and others
yourusername miss going on tour so much we’re doing it again! buy your tickets, bring your friends, we’re gonna have a rocking summer! 🎸✨
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username omg i’m hearing blowing smoke live 😭😭
username FINALLY
username she keeps feeding us and feeding us
username guys i just saw the dates and she performs on miami the same weekend of the grand prix …
username i noticed the same! is the only date that coincides with a grand prix
username could it be …. never mind
username no because even if none of the guys are thinking of going i just know the wags are dragging them
username you just made my entire year😩
francisca.cgomes and we’ll be going 😮💨
yourusername 💙💙💙
liked by schecoperez, alex_albon and others
maxverstappen1 lovely miami 🇺🇸
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username none of things i’m thinking of are in the bible
username TU-TU-TU-DU
username men should not be this hot
username pretending i didn’t see the last pic 😁
username he needs to post a warning next time
username let it gooo touch some grass
username SO DID HE WENT TO THE CONCERT OR NOT
username one of the girlies who went let us know!!!
username well the whole grid was there so i can only assume he was too 😭
liked by maxverstappen1, oscarpiastri and others
yourusername miami you are (as always) the loml
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username BEST NIGHT EVER
username you’re surreal and that was the best concert i’ve ever been to 💗
alexandrasaintmleux the most talented ever! 💘
yourusername 💞💞💞
username GRAMMY WHEN
username i may never recover from this night
username max lurching in the likes 👀
username oh he was definitely there
lilymhe screaming crying never getting over it !!!
yourusername obsessed with you screaming all the songs to my face 😭
alex_albon at least she wasn’t right by your side leaving you deaf ❌
liked by f1gossip, lailahasanovic and others
f1wags last pictures of max verstappen seen with his girlfriend arguing outside their hotel during the miami grand prix weekend two weeks ago. they haven’t been seen together ever since and they stopped following each other from social media
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username guys don’t get me excited 😩
username omg ??? are we out of the trenches ???
username not them breaking up after yn’s concert 😭
username ngl i don’t hate this
username does this mean yn and max have a chance of getting back together ???
username pls i need that to happen
username guys can you blame him??? he listened to blowing smoke!!!
username and mess it up, and i miss you i’m sorry, and feels like, and
username my divorced parents are getting back together i’m calling it
liked by yourusername, charles_leclerc and others
maxverstappen1 having a rocking summer🎸✨
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username EXCUSE ME
username not the caption‼️
username THE HARD LAUNCHING?
username how much do we wanna bet that yn gave him that drawing and he was waiting to post it
username THE LAST PIC???😭
username they’re the cutest
yourusername max! i thought we said we would soft launch
maxverstappen1 oops🤭
username we manifested too hard to the sun
username i just know he couldn’t wait to get back with yn
alexandrasaintmleux she’s everything 😍😍
yourusername you’re the loml you know that
maxverstappen1 uhmmm 🤨
charles_leclerc back off 🤺🤺🤺 yourusername
#max verstappen#max verstappen x reader#max verstappen one shot#max verstappen imagine#max verstappen fluff#f1 x reader#f1#formula one#formula one x reader#max verstappen x y/n#max verstappen x you#max verstappen fanfic#gracie abrams#mv1#smau#max verstappen smau#f1 smau#formula 1 smau#social media au#mv33#the secret of us
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