#they invading my headcanons nowadays

[lovefrombegonia]

Angsty Beefleaf headcanon:

*whispers* you have been warned. it's angstyyy.

I hope that post cannon shi qingxuan lives a fulfilling life. I hope he lives appreciated and admired by people around him. I hope he is surrounded by friends and loved ones. I hope he falls in love again. I hope he makes his own family again, lives a long, happy and healthy life, and he passes away in the arms of his beloved, knowing that he is moving on to the other side with peace and content in his heart. I hope he never sees he xuan again. In fact, I hope he somehow...one day, "forgot" about he xuan. He kinda recalls having a best friend during his time as wind master, and that his brother died in the hands of someone they wronged. Which is why he was banished from heaven. But other than that, it seems SQX gradually forgot about HX. He knows about blackwater calamity but only as that...a distant legend. No one ever talks about that past to him now. Everyone agrees that maybe SQX forgetting about it all is for the best. Xie Lian was worried at first that he was cursed by some entity but Hua Cheng assured him that he is in no danger. In the end, SQX lived a happy life. So, it doesn't matter he doesn't remember any Ming-xiong or he xuan or he sheng. Only what matters is that SQX is happy, free of the trauma he went through because of black water sinking ships. Atleast...as much free of the traumatic memories as he xuan could erase without hurting the one who tethered him to the mortal realm.

So, I hope SQX lived a happy life. I hope he xuan could finally rest in peace.

[markerofthemidnight]

Turbo (vs) Time

(THIS PALE SHITLORD HAS INVADED MY MIND LIKE ITS NAME IS SUGAR RUSH PLEASE HELP)

Okay but we need to start talking about just how interesting Turbo is as a concept.

Ladies and gentlemen, we are talking about an old 80s video game character whose game was fun enough to be considered popular in its heyday, but quickly aged terribly as more complex competitors came along, to the point where nowadays he’s willing to go to all kinds of lengths just to stay relevant.

We are talking about the indignant wrath of an outdated media character who refuses to accept that the world is done with him.

And you know what? Of course he does. Because, not only is that a difficult thing to come to terms with, but he’s the protagonist of a racing game. He’s programmed to want to be the best, no matter what happens.

But still, no matter how fast he goes, eventually he’ll always lose at the most important race of all: the race against time.

…With that in mind, the name ‘Turbo Time’ is actually pretty poetic. Because Turbo time comes… and then it goes, never to be seen again. Like a certain arcade cabinet.

That’s his real enemy here. It was never Vanellope, it was never RoadBlasters: it was what both of them meant for him. That times are changing, and he’s not fast enough to keep up.

And that’s not fair for him: of course it’s not! What is a racer who can’t keep up? Who is Turbo, if he isn’t the best? And how is it that games like Fix-It Felix Jr. and PacMan have stayed in the arcade this whole time, but he is one of the first to go?! What do they have that he doesn’t?!

There’s… there’s not really an answer to that question. More engaging gameplay that would stand the test of time and wouldn’t be replaced so easily, perhaps.

And… god, with all this in mind, the (lack of) treatment he gets in Ralph Breaks the Internet is actually poetic too, as stupid as it is. The second his rule is successfully toppled by a competitor… the world just forgets about him, like that fateful day all those years ago.

Also, headcanon time: I like to think Turbo Time was made by a pretty big company with other popular games, that had no reason to try and save it once competition started rolling in and the game became less and less popular.

Why? Because, if this were true, it’d be very likely that, out of all the Turbos in all the Turbo Times in the world… he’s the last one left.

And I dread to think how he’d react if he ever found that out.

[kitkatopinions]

I'm not going back through my posts to find this, but like three years ago I made a post that was like "when people say things about Ironwood that aren't true like 'he invaded Vale' I'm just gonna be like 'cool headcanon. My headcanon is-' and then insert some random headcanon." Well, nowadays, RWBY fans are making me want to do that again in response to every time they say something happened off screen.

"It's not that Yang and Blake 'don't talk about their problems,' they just talk about them off screen." Yeah cool headcanon. My headcanon is that Blake was actually closer friends with Neptune than with Weiss before the Fall of Beacon.

"Jaune isn't 'the only one who got to mourn Pyrrha,' obviously the others mourned, it just happened off screen." Uh-huh, cool headcanon. My headcanon is that Qrow and Raven are actually the children of Salem and they just don't realize it.

"You can't say that Ruby's message to the world in V8 didn't contain all the vital information, because some of the message just wasn't shown!" "Yang and Blake didn't keep secrets from the rest of their team by never telling them they told Robin everything, they told them offscreen!" "It's so stupid that people are saying Yang is a hypocrite for yelling at Oz about keeping secrets after she lied to Qrow about Raven, clearly she told the truth off screen!" "I can't believe that people are complaining that Weiss was never shown to deconstruct her anti-faunus beliefs or apologize and therefore her white-knighting for Blake feels performative. Clearly she unlearned that stuff off screen!" Cool headcanons, bro. I have this headcanon that when Ruby and Yang were kids, they started fighting over this toy yo-yo because they both thought the yo-yo belonged to them, and then one day Ruby was playing with the yo-yo and since she was mad that Yang kept saying it was HER yo-yo, Ruby clonked her on the head with the yo-yo and of course that dissolved into even more fighting, so Taiyang took the yo-yo from them. But then that only dissolved into even MORE fighting because they blamed each other for the loss of the yo-yo, and so Tai 'banned' all conversation of the yo-yo incident and even banned the word yo-yo and Yang and Ruby hold to that rule even as teenagers and will breakout into (now good natured) bickering about it if it comes up.

People sometimes think "if the RWBY writers did (insert thing they did here) it would be bad. Therefore they can't have done that, so what's the other explanation? I just must need to flex my imagination and fill in the blanks!" So then they see something like the show having Yang literally lie to Qrow's face and the show still four seasons later having not had that addressed despite the fact that Yang has been anti-lying to the point of angrily calling someone a bastard, and they're like "Well if Yang didn't tell the truth, she'd be a hypocrite. So she had to have told the truth and we just didn't see it, or else it would mean that the writers made a mistake. Why would someone say Yang has lied in the past when she clearly told the truth off screen!"

And it’s like.... Or... They got something wrong.... Or they made a mistake.

Some rwby fans will do this thing where they confuse 'I recognized the potential and imagined/headcanoned to fill in the holes left in this story to make it more enjoyable' with 'this story is great and actually DOESN'T HAVE HOLES.' It's like RT made a road that is full of holes in the concrete, and then when people are like 'wish this road wasn't full of holes,' other people come in like "um stop saying there are holes, clearly we're meant to pretend that the road is smooth and free of holes. How dare you call this bad construction and an incomplete road, the concrete is in the cement truck, duh. Why do you need your hand held?"

Before someone comes in and is like "so nothing that happens off screen can ever be considered canon?" that's not it. If it's established in canon that it happened, then it's different.

Let's use Volume 9 as an example! There's a scene where Weiss summarizes events she's been told including Yang's prosthetic being stolen. Obviously Yang had to have told her about it. I wouldn't be here like 'Why is Weiss acting like Yang told her something that isn't on screen?' I did however complain that the writers skipped over that conversation, because it left the interaction feeling stale, pointless, and it limited my connection to the characters because it bypassed all emotion that wasn't 'being done' and cynicism. But they established that it happened in some way, so if someone says 'Yang told the others what happened to her off screen,' I'd say 'yeah, she did, that was made clear."

However, then there's a mistake that Eddy Rivas himself said was a mistake where they decided 'Ruby should find out that Jaune killed Penny off-screen' and then they never gave any indication that she knew at all. So not only did they bypass what should've been included as an emotional scene that humanizes Ruby and clues the audience further into her mental state while seeming more respectful of a well-loved character, but they also fully made it seem like that interaction just didn't actually happen. So in the actual show, there's no reason to believe that Ruby has been told that Jaune killed Penny, and most people kept waiting for it to happen and then the whole season ended and we were confused about it because as far as people who don't follow Eddy Rivas on twitter are concerned, there's no reason to believe that it happened at all. 'It happened off screen' doesn't actually mean anything when there's no reason to believe that except that some people really want it to have happened.

Again, RWBY isn't real, and author's notes dropped after the fact only tell us about intent and do not alter what's actually presented to us in the actual product. Stuff doesn't just 'happen off screen, but it's still happened' the way that a documentary might not include all the footage, but the events still happened.

This post is running long, but yeah. When stuff doesn't actually happen on screen and isn't referenced and doesn't make it into the show and plot, it's not only disappointing - because that stuff should make it into the plot (I can't believe that there are bees shippers that just do not care that crucial moments and conversations that lay conflict to rest between their one true pairing just 'happen off screen' according to them like I would be kicking down doors for my ships) - but also makes that stuff not canon.

[random-iz-stuff]

An aroace that doesn’t ship anything ranks every Invader Zim ship they are aware of:

No offence to anyone. Also don’t expect many “I ship it” moments because I really don’t ship anything.

ZaDr (Zim and Dib romance):

The one and only Invader Zim ship that needs no introduction. If you’re been in the modern fandom for any amount of time, you know about ZaDr. It’s the most common ship in the entire fandom and I see why. The enemies to lovers dynamic, the parallels between the two of them in canon, ✨ The Gay✨, etc. This ship is THE Invader Zim ship and it’s easy to see why.

I personally don’t ship it for a few different reasons. I like my Zim and Dib with a more frenemies dynamic when they aren’t at each other’s throats for one, plus I just don’t ship things like 99% of the time. That just how I work.

This right here can be said for any ship on this list involving Zim; but I also headcanon Zim as being aroace, which conflicts with literally every ship involving Zim. My version of Zim just doesn’t mix with any ships. For me, Zim and romance is like oil and water.

That being said, I’m not against ZaDr and I don’t dislike it. I don’t actively seek it out, but I also don’t mind looking at it if it pops up on my dash. I just like ZaDf a bit more.

Do I ship it: No

How I pronounce it: Za-Dur

Rating: 8/10 (it’s a classic and even though I don’t ship it, giving it anything less would be a disservice to it)

ZaGr (Zim and Gaz romance):

ZaGr is a really interesting ship to me. Not in a character or canon way, but in a meta way. Because from what I understand, ZaGr used to be the most popular IZ ship back when Invader Zim was a newer show, before ships like ZaDr became acceptable and more mainstream.

Now it’s way less common when compared to ZaDr, but you can see it everywhere in older works. I just find it cool that you can tell how old parts of the fandom are based on how popular or common ZaDr and ZaGr are. ZaGr is still popular nowadays, but it used to be the go-to IZ Ship before ZaDr became mainstream and overtook it in popularity.

Kinda but not really moving on from a meta perspective, I can see why it originally became popular, but also why it fell from grace and was overtaken by ZaDr. Both Zim and Gaz show a hated for humanity, share an interest in video games, have the same dislike of Dib and Gaz seems to be one of the few characters that Zim shows any respect towards whatsoever. There was also the rumoured (and later disproven to exist) episode “Invader Dib”, which was rumoured to be the series finale before the show was canceled and would have supposedly implied that Zim and Gaz got together post-canon.

Plus in my uneducated opinion, ZaGr probably also became so popular because of the environment it came into existence in. ZaGr is one of the oldest ships in the entire fandom (I think), being a thing all the way back in the early 2000s when Invader Zim had first come out and recently been canceled. Back then, gay ships like ZaDr and TaGr were a lot less normalized than they are today and were considered to be either crackships, rarepairs or morally wrong because the early 2000s wasn’t exactly known for being accepting of LGBTQ stuff. So ZaGr simply had a lot less competition.

Then, when ships like ZaDr and TaGr became more normalized and popular, people started jumping to them because ZaDr simply has a lot more chemistry than ZaGr. Zim and Gaz only have a few minimal interactions after all.

ZaGr still exists and it’s definitely still prominent, but it’s often overshadowed by its gay relatives that are ZaDr and TaGr.

On another note, I really like the idea of Zim and Gaz becoming friends (much to Dib’s dismay and frustration).

Do I ship it: No, but I adore the more meta details of it.

How I pronounce it: Za-Gir

Rating: 6/10 (the meta stuff elevates it quite a bit, but as an actual ship, things like ZaDr simply have way more chemistry)

ZaSr (Zim and Skoodge romance):

I don’t know why, but the ship name always gives me vibes of strength and durability. I really can’t explain it in any other way. Just wanted to get that off my chest.

Moving on from that, I can see why this exists. Skoodge was supposed to live in Zim’s base after all. Plus, with how underwritten Skoodge actually is, he’s a character that can be molded to fit the story or ship, basically making Skoodge a fanfic writer’s dream and basically any and all details regarding ZaSr to be sadly fanmade.

Now, I HAVE actually actively sought out ZaSr content before. It was mostly to find ZaSf stuff because the ZaSf tag is next to empty, but I have gone through the tag once or twice. Even though I don’t ship them romantically, I like the idea of Zim and Skoodge being friends and the ZaSr tag, despite being a shipping tag, is the best place to find content like that.

Do I ship it: Not romantically, but definitely platonically, in a best friends sort of way, and the ZaSr tag is my best (and only) source of content for that kind of thing

How I pronounce it: Za-Sir

Rating: 8/10 (I don’t ship the two romantically, but the tag is a very good way to find content of Zim and Skoodge being friends)

ZaTr (Zim and Tak romance):

This one is in a very similar vein as ZaSr. I have gone through the tag, but mostly just because I ran out of content in the ZaTf tag.

Ship-wise, I don’t really get this one, but at the same time I get the impression that it was popular at SOME point because I’m pretty sure that it was a semi-common thing in older works. I just don’t get WHY though. Maybe as an alternative to ZaGr back before ZaDr became an acceptable option? I really don’t know. I just don’t see it.

Do I ship it: No, but I have used the tag to search for ZaTf content before

How I pronounce it: Za-Tur

Rating: 4/10 (I really don’t understand the appeal of it. I’m a fan of ZaTf with Zim and Tak becoming friends or at the very least frenemies, but shipping the two of them romantically seems like overkill)

ZaTr alternate version (Zim and Tenn romance):

No. Just no. I headcanon that Zim and Tenn are twin siblings, so that should sum up my thoughts on ZaTr [alternate] pretty damn well.

And I’m confident to say that no one is going to fight me here and argue that “it’s just your personal headcanon that they’re siblings so it’s fine” because literally no one ships this.

This ship is stupidly rare and I’ve only ever seen two, maybe three things with ZaTr [alternate] in it. I’m including it simply because of those two or three things and because I said I’d review every ship I’m aware of, even if the ship barely exists and is accidentally made into twincest because of a headcanon I have.

Do I ship it: Fuck no

How I pronounce it: Alternate Za-Tur (or Za-Tur 2)

Rating: 0/10 (it’ll be a cold day in hell when I ship twincest and a goddamn blizzard in hell when I let go of my “Zim and Tenn being siblings” headcanon)

TaGr (Tak and Gaz romance):

I actually used to ship TaGr way before I made this blog. Then I stopped without really knowing why. I left the fandom for a while and when I came back TaGr had just sort of fell off for me and didn’t hit the same. I don’t know what changed. Nowadays I don’t actively seek it out, but also won’t complain if it pops up in my dash. I’m neutral towards it.

Tak and Gaz have basically no interactions in canon, and yet based purely on their personalities you KNOW that they’d work well if you placed them in the same room together. They even have similar aesthetics. And as an added bonus, you have ✨The Gay✨.

You can also pronounce the name by saying “tiger” in a super heavy southern accent and that makes it the best ship by default. You can do the same with the misspelling of the name (GaTr) by saying “gator” in a super heavy southern accent.

Do I ship it: Not anymore (but I used to)

How I pronounce it: Ta-Gir (like tiger with a super heavy southern accent)

Rating: 9/10 (the name and how you can pronounce it does some of the lifting there. It’s just fun for me to say. If you couldn’t pronounce it like tiger or gator in a super heavy southern accent it would be a 7/10)

DaTr (Dib and Tak romance):

This ship definitely exists and it is a ship.

To be honest though, DaTr gives off the vibes of a toxic byproduct of ZaDr and TaGr.

Despite that however, to my knowledge, DaTr is another one of the oldest ships in the fandom that’s as old as ZaGr, being a ship that was often seen alongside it. Zim gets with Gaz and Dib gets with Tak. Like ZaGr, it became a lot more rare with the rise of ZaDr and TaGr. It’s still around, but it’s a lot less common than it used to be.

However, I don’t think it really holds up nowadays. Dib and Tak simply don’t have much chemistry together besides an equal hated of Zim and ZaDr and TaGr seem like way better alternatives.

Plus, just by looking at them, I refuse to believe that Dib likes women and Tak likes men. ZaDr/TaGr shipper or not, there’s no way in hell that they’re both straight.

I do like the name though, I’ll give the ship that. DaTr. Reminds me of Data.

Do I ship it: no

How I pronounce it: Da-Tier or Da-Tur. I alternate between the two

Rating: 2/10

TaTr (Tak and Tenn romance):

I get why this ship exists. A part of it does have to do with Tenn having no canon personality and being able to be molded to fit the story or ship, just like Skoodge but even more malleable because Tenn has even less canon details, so you can really have any dynamic or story that you want with this ship. There’s also a few other details like Tenn being one of the only named, canon, female Irkens in the show besides Tak. ✨The Gay✨ is also a factor.

I’ve mentioned before that I find this ship a bit funny when you take into account how similar Zim and Tenn look, with Tak looking at Zim and thinking “worst enemy, kill on sight” and then looking at Zim with eyelashes and curled antenna and being head over heels, but I got to admit, TaTr has grown on me quite a bit.

It’s one of the only ships I’ve actively searched for (not counting the ships I’ve looked at when searching for platonic content like ZaSr and ZaTr) and I don’t even know why exactly. I just enjoy it.

Do I ship it: I don’t exactly know. I like the ship, but I’m not sure if I’d call myself a avid shipper of it. Probably? You know what? What the hell, my answer is Yes. TaTr is the only ship on this list that gets a yes from me

How I pronounce it: Tatter

Rating: 9/10 (I like this one)

RaPr (Red and Purple romance):

I can definitely see the chemistry between the two of them. They’re practically inseparable in canon, share the same interests and likes and also the line “he LIKES snacks Zim” exists. I’ve seen compilations of the Tallest just called “the Tallest being gay for each other compilation” and I completely understand where they’re coming from.

That being said, I have exactly one complaint. The name. If it was structured as “Purple and Red romance” instead of “Red and Purple romance”, it would spell “PaRr” which can easily be pronounced as “Parr”. RaPr had the opportunity to become one of, if not THE ONLY Invader Zim ship that’s actually pronounceable by a human tongue in one universally accepted way, but it actively refused to do so and now I can’t stop pronouncing it like “Wrapper”, which I think, in Tallest Purple’s own words, is a stupid name.

Do I ship it: no, but I have no reason not to. I honestly just refuse to ship it out of spite over the stupid sounding name. That’s the only thing stopping me from shipping it

How I pronounce it: Wrapper

Rating: 8/10 (would be 10/10 if it was spelled as Parr)

PRaZr (Purple, Red and Zim romance):

I don’t usually give this one much thought, but it’s kind of funny when you think about it alongside the actual events of the show. “Invader Zim gets kicked out of the polycule to work eternal food service after permanently ruining a major military operation”

Do I ship it: no. I got no real thoughts on it either

How I pronounce it: Praz-er

Rating: 4/10

PRaDr (Purple, Red and Dib romance):

Wait that’s a thing that actually exists? Really? Neat.

Do I ship it: I literally didn’t know it was a real thing until writing this (so no)

How I pronounce it: Prad-er

Rating: ???/10 (In my opinion, I simply don’t know enough about the ship to say anything. I’m just putting it on this list because I learned about it’s existence while making this post)

Anything with Keef in it (ZaKr, KaDr, etc):

Honestly, I keep forgetting that Keef exists, and the same can be said for any ship involving him.

For ZaKr (Zim and Keef), I can see it as an unrequited crush on Keef’s end, but just can’t see Zim returning any feelings.

For KaDr, I can’t see anything. Apart from the unmade episode The Return Of Keef where Dib teams up with Zim to get rid of Keef, I don’t think they have any real interactions. I could very easily be wrong because I just don’t have a very good memory when talking about Keef, but I can’t think of any times where the two of them interacted positively, or even interacted at all.

Plus, unlike ships like TaTr, where Tenn has no set canon personality and can be molded to fit the story or ship, Keef, despite his lack of appearances, does have a set personality, and both Zim and Dib are very annoyed by it. Keef is one of the only things that can get Zim and Dib to work together, and that’s only so they can get rid of him. KaDr simply has no foundation in my eyes.

However, I have nothing but compliments for the names. ZaKr and KaDr just sound nice to me. I think it’s the “K” adding something that isn’t seen in any other ships. It has an almost exotic sound to it.

ZaKr:

Do I ship it: No

How I pronounce it: Zak-er

Rating: 4/10 (Keef having an unrequited crush on Zim is an interesting idea that I might want to keep in mind and I like how the name sounds, but that’s doing all the heavy lifting. Without those two details, ZaKr would be even lower)

KaDr:

Do I ship it: No, but the name has a very nice ring to it. Even better than ZaKr.

How I pronounce it: Kad-er

Rating: 3/10 (purely because of the name)

Za2r/ZaZ2r (Zib and Zim Number 2 romance):

I don’t really get this one. I get the appeal of ZaDr, and I understand why Za2r exists (evil counterpart to ZaDr) but Za2r just doesn’t work in my eyes.

Ignoring my headcanons for Number 2, the whole point of Zib is that he’s a Dib that’s absolutely lost it and gone down the full xenophobic genocide route, becoming something worse than the very Irken Empire he seeks to exterminate. Putting him in a relationship with Number 2 sort of defeats that whole thing he’s got going on.

Bringing back my headcanons for Number 2, Number 2 is waiting to betray and overthrow Zib at the first possible opportunity, and never gets his chance because of Zib’s virus plan. No relationship between the two of them is going to work out for any amount of time in my eyes or perspective, especially when you factor in my Aroace Zim Headcanon.

This ship is also completely impossible to say out loud. Invader Zim ship names are already hard enough to pronounce on their own. YOU DIDN’T NEED TO ADD A NUMBER INTO IT. If you add a number into the middle of the ship name, my brain is going to bluescreen trying to pronounce it.

ZaZ2r looks like the password found on a wifi router and I’m going to remove a point just because of that.

Do I ship it: No. Not really a fan

How I pronounce it: I don’t because you can’t pronounce this abomination of a name IT HAS A NUMBER IN THE MIDDLE OF IT

Rating: 1/10 (I’d give it a 3/10 if the name wasn’t impossible to pronounce and difficult to read)

DaGr (Dib and Gaz romance):

Fuck no, fuck you, I’m not even going to give this one the time of day. THEY ARE CANON SIBLINGS. THEY ARE BROTHER AND SISTER. Thank GOD I’ve only ever heard of this ship and have never actually seen anything with DaGr in it. It’s so rare that it’s practically nonexistent.

One thing I hate about this ship (besides the obvious) is the name. It’s Dagger. DAGGER!! Why does this horrible ship get one of the best names?! WHY??!

Do I ship it: fuck no I would rather die

How I pronounce it: Dagger

Rating: -9/10 (at least ZaTr [alternate] was only twincest due to a headcanon I have and therefore isn’t universally twincest. It’s only twincest to me (and anyone else with the “Zim and Tenn are twins” headcanon). Dib and Gaz are fully canon siblings. That’s incest no matter how you look at it. Plus I’m super pissed off over the name. Why does the incest ship get the cool weapon name?)

[antiyourwokehomophobia2]

Straight people invading gay spaces has definitely fucked up people's perception of tops and bottoms and that's why it's so frustrating to talk about it nowadays. You'll have people arguing with you that Character X is a bottom because they're attracted to stronged willed characters and it's like ??? Gtfo lmao. Also, there's a weird obcession with people making headcanons where the butchier characters are bottoms, and the femmes are tops, and when you watch the thing it's like, obviously the other way around. I simply don't get it.

My het said she's a top once. Like. Bestie. Lmao.

I honestly think that "top" and "bottom" is best enjoyed when it's mostly a joke. I never get too serious with it tbh because I think the discourse is one of the more ridiculous ones, and I think that lesbians are usually verse, anyway. Idk, I have complicated thoughts on the whole thing but I get where you're coming from.

[bnnuy-wabbit]

I think Fandom is easy to engage with if you were there from the start, or early on. It feels less far removed when you're there for some ridiculous OOC headacanons etc. Its like you said, when you obsess for a long time you def do the thing and it's somewhat far removed from the outside. But when you were there, it feels less so!

The Headcanon became canon collective over time, so newbies are like 'wut' but you're like 'yeah.' IDK. TL:DR i agree and its easier when you're there early on b/c it builds around you.

yeah!! you're right.

I'm usually into things pretty late, so it's really hard. i was lucky to have gotten into homestuck around 2016 so things were still pretty fresh! but i assume anybody getting into it nowadays probably has the same experiences as me trying to get into the magnus archives fandom or the invader zim fandom (one of my favorite cartoons since i was like 15 btw). theres So Much Stuff and man i am just bouncing around.

[yanderes-galore]

Hello hello this is the anon who asked for more lolbit headcanons hm for the theme can I request a part 2 of your original headcanon where they get a better model? Its fine if you dont want too!

Sure! It may be short, take it as supplementary to the other one. I mostly focused on them getting a better body and what they do in the meantime. Animatronic or android, does not matter.

Yandere! Lolbit Concept

Lolbit Getting a New Body

Pairing: Romantic

Possible Trigger Warnings: Gender-Neutral Darling, Obsessive behavior, Possessive behavior, Manipulation, Forced affection, Kidnapping, Murder, Robot gaining sentience, Illegal activity, Invading privacy, Implied stalking, Delusional behavior.

- Lolbit would be more of a threat when they manage to get their first body.

- It's temporary, they just couldn't wait to be able to hold you.

- Lolbit's current vessel is made of rusted scrap metal, they know it scares you but they try not to be too threatening.

- "Don't worry, (Y/N)! I am already hacking into some systems to get some new parts. I'll be sure I look to your liking!"

- Of course, they expect you'll try to run, so you become locked in your house.

- It's hard to get away from the bot for long as they always seem to know where you are....

- Lolbit has access to everything they can get their hands on.

- Redirecting money flow, ordering scrap parts, buying small gifts....

- You have no need to worry about financial trouble with them!

- You soon start to notice parts arrive at your house, quickly being dragged in by the AI that's trapping you.

- They go for hours making something in your garage.

- Yet when you try to go check, Lolbit stops you quickly.

- "It's a surprise! You can't see it yet...! I need more time, dear...."

- You swore you saw them drag in parts that belonged to other bots from that old pizzeria....

- Lolbit does take breaks to come and see you despite being in the garage half the time.

- You almost wish they stayed in the garage, though....

- You're mostly in your room with restricted internet access nowadays.

- When Lolbit comes in they greet you with that terrifying smile before sitting beside you.

- "How's your day today? I have some gifts on the way for you! My surprise is also coming along swell...!"

- You most likely don't answer but they don't seem to mind.

- Lolbit's gifts vary a lot. Some days you're given a couple plush toys, some other days jewelry, maybe even given some games or movies.

- They try to track your likes based on past browser history.

- Affection, as with all the bots, can be difficult.

- They try not to hug you with much force, kisses are usually them pressing their mouth against your cheek gently.....

- They mostly try to explain vocally how much they adore you along with gift giving.

- It'll take weeks before they finish their 'surprise'.

- Which turns out to be a new high tech body freshly painted white, orange, and purple.

- "Don't you think it's neat? I'll move into it soon. It even has some new features compared to this current hunk of scrap!"

- This new body they made acts like Funtime Foxy's, voice coming from the speaker and the ability to open the panels on the body.

- If they feel you want it, they may even add faux fur to it so you can feel more comfortable during hugs.

- They are obsessed with making the perfect shell to impress you.

- While this shell is mostly designed for entertainment and comfort purposes, it has some extra features for more... hostile actions.

- Such as if anyone tries to enter your building....

- They are immediately stalked and attacked by Lolbit.

- Now that they have achieved the perfect body to care for you with...

- You need no one else.

[velvetgoldminecherry]

Kakashi Week 2022 Day 1: Nukenin & Senses

Thanks to @kakashiweek for all their support. Hope you enjoy this story that basically is based on a headcanon of mine, in which the Hatake clan is extremely related to wolves and like them, it’s members have highly developed senses. And you know how animals can feel that bad things are going to happen? Well, Hatake clan also has that sixth sense, which becomes a nightmare if you’re not trained to control it, because you can feel too much..

I hope you enjoyed it. By the way, english isn’t my first lenguage, so forgive me if they’re mistakes.

Link to AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GoneGirl199999

Blood Legacy

Fifteen years ago...

A shinobi with silver hair runs in a hurry over the rooftops and in the shade of trees, nowadays it isn't safe to walk the streets if he wants to return home in one piece. It's been hard times since father came back from that mission. It all began with the nasty looks, then with the civilian's rumors, some time later the disrespect from other shinobis, the stores that wouldn't accept them, finally the loneliness and the abuses from everyone.

Kakashi used to be able to escape from his abusers, but some times there were too many of them. On those occasions, his father would heal his wounds, while blaming himself and mumbling apologies, for then locked himself and cry, praying that his son wouldn't listen to him.

Another year passed and Kakashi became a legal adult at the age of five, after getting graduated from the Academy, and he was taken as the aprentice of Shibi Aburame. One of the few shinobis who still treated him like a human. He was taught in the art of war. He was sent to infiltration missions, even tho he was only a genin. But he was born a shinobi, and he had a debt to pay to the village. He was the son of Sakumo Hatake and his inheritance made him a pretty good weapon to use during war times.

So the silver boy became an adult at the age of five. Not because of his special abilities, not because he had been taken to assassination misions before he knew how to walk, but because what happened that curse bloody day.

He woke up with the feeling that something bad was going to happen. The ninken knew it too. Throughout the day, the growing anxiety made him believe that he would lose his mind. Every little detail told him something bad was coming, the worst of all was that no one else noticed the nauseating smell of fear and failure in the air. No one else noticed the unusual humidity, the strange earth movements, the anguised song of birds, the bitter taste of miso soup...

He smelled the blood ten kilometers before arriving home. Desesperation invaded the small creature, who forgot the first thing he learned in his first day at the Academy: "A shinobi never shows any feeling", he runs faster but when he enters the house is too late. 

That was the first time Kakashi hated with all his beign the inheritance of his clan. He smelled his father's suicide before it happened, he felt it, he heard it, he tasted and later... He saw it. Some years later he was asigned to a genin team. Even tho he alredy was a chunin who had been on war missions. It seemed that the old Lord Hokage thought the experience would help him healed his wounds and realize that the mission and the rules weren't as important as his people.

Said the one bastard who let Danzo and the villagers killed the great White Fang of Konoha, because of a failed mission. The one who allowed the other villages and clans to masacrate his whole clan, the one who allowed a boy to be treated like scum just because of his fathers mistakes and let another to murder his family to protect the damn village.

So Kakashi became part of team 7, while he was sent to missions out from Konoha to pay his father's mistakes, to suffer the punishment, to suffer from his Hatake legacy, which became stronger as he did. He would come back home smelling the blood of all the victims in his own skin, no matter how many times he washed himself, until his own blood appeared... 

He hated it.

He hated it how Obito, Rin and Minato sensei reached his inner wolf and domesticated it, he hated how the smell of Rin's perfume made him feel like he was in home, how the sensation of them being near to him made him felt like he had founded a new pack, how the touch of their hands would bring him back to earth when the sensations of everything became to much to bear. How Obito's voice would enchant him and made him feel like everything was okay and how much it hurted to know that Obito only had eyes for Rin. But even those little details, in those moments his Hatake legacy turned almost acceptable. But happiness didn't last that much, neither did his new founded peace with his bloodlines, because it was that damn curse of his extinct clan the one who told him that Obito would die, even before he knew it, it was the one that made him knew he would kill Rin with his chidori. His bloodline curse was the one who aknowledge him about the Kyubi's attack, that Minato and Kushina would die, that one of his kohais would end with his entire own clan...

He wasn't able to know what was going to happen, he couldn't read the future. But he always knew what was going to happen.

How much longer was he going to take it?

With the secrets of his clan destroyed by those who feared the power of the Great Wolf, without a single scroll to read, a relative to ask, Kakashi was destined to suffer the curse of his hypersensitivity. It was a perfect weapon for war and at some point in his life he would have been happy about it but... Did it really make sense now? Was it worth all the pain and sickness that took over his body after each fight? Was it worth how he lost more and more his sanity smelling the blood, feeling the terror of the fallen when it cracked their heads or burst their chests?

The only thing his curse couldn't predict was that he would end taking the Hound mask and in a trance-like state, crawl to the ROOT facility, where the next morning there would be a butcher shop, where the main course was the head of Lord Danzo, hunging with a look of terror from the ceiling beams. Beside him on the ground, a scroll addressed to the Hokage, with all the interesting things Danzo told him some minutes before his dead.

Everyone would knew what their precious Hokage and elders did. They would knew who the real scum was 

After that he would walk away protected by the shadows, with a broken legacy he had sworn to protect, now turned into trash. He walked away until the rooftops turned to ants and the smells and sounds of Konoha disappeared, he walked away until the forests surrounding the village disappeared and he walked away until he crossed the borders of the Valley of the End.

When he stopped to catch his breath, Fire Country was already a long way off. It was then that he understood everything he had done, it was when he looked at his hands full of blood, his ANBU uniform splattered with viscera and noticed the pieces of cartilage entangled in his hair sticky with blood when he realized what he had done. When he understood he wouldn’t came back to Konoha.

After all the he did to clear his father’s name, after all the sacrifice he made to be considered a hero, to be loved again, after promising his dad he would protect his dearest people he just got so thirsty for revenge and screwed everything. They would put a price to his head, the golden child who was expected to became stronger than the White Fang and the Great Sannin... Turned into a traitor.

Itachi became a nukenin for the sake of Konoha, he became one because he wanted Konoha to suffer like he and his beloved ones did.

It had been a long time since Konoha had been his home, surprisingly having failed as a shinobi didn't hurt anymore. Now that he thought about it, he couldn't remember wanting to become one of his own free will... But the faces of his cute kohai and his eternal rival hadn't stopped following him. He had failed them, he had ruined the last bonds he had.

He alredy could feel Gai's tears and his heart breaking when he heard the news... This time his Hatake gift wasn't necessary, because he felt the same way Gai did, even when he never sayed it out loud, Gai was his only reason to live and his most precious beign. Gai was the love of his life, Gai did everything for him, and he just took it and then ran away, breaking his heart...

Kakashi hadn't cried in a long time, but Gai was the only thing that still made him human. Kakashi never deserved him, he realized too late how much he loved him, that he wasn't able to thank Gai for always being by his side. He was nothing but scum that took the lives of others and then ran away leaving everything destroyed around him. He fell to his knees and slammed his fists against a rock, barely feeling his knuckles break. The faces of Gai, Tenzo, Obito, Rin, Minato and his father appeared again and again, completely disappointed in him and hurt in a way he couldn't describe. But even now, he wasn't even sure those tears were his. Because only one of his eyes shed tears.

Obito’s eyes was the only thing that made him human. And he spoiled it.

The village coulg go to hell, they never cared about him, about his dad's pain and sacrifice. They didn't give a shit of anything. He wanted to burn everything, let his inner wolf free and tear every damn neck of Konoha apart. But he wouldn't, it was the last thing he could do to honor the sacrifice of his father and his team. The last thing he could do for Gain and Tenzo.

It wasn't long before they came looking for him, he smelled them months before they knew who he was. He knew Itachi was among them, he knew there was no point in refusing. He was a lone wolf who had lost his pack deep in the woods, a creature with the breath of death, blood and gore soaking his fur. A wolf that hid stealthily, ready to attack, too scared and hurt by the world.

That's why he joined Akatsuki, he had no other reason to exist, he didn't need them, he didn't share their goals. But the Hatake Clan's gift was what their leader needed to capture the tailed beasts, and Kakashi knew no other life than serving as a weapon. So he cut his hitai ate and put on his cloak and ring. He fulfilled the missions without real motivation. 

He gained power during his years in Akatsuki, so his blood curse got stronger, turning every single battle into a nightmare. The smell of iron, dead, fear. The mist of desperation and pain. The sound of kunais, shurikens and katanas colliding with each other, the agony screams and the bodies falling into the ground, blood rivers impregnating his nose for days...

How much will he has to live like this? How more days will he spend nights washing himself trying to remove the horrible stink that impregnates his skin? How much will his punishment last? How badly will his heart break before he collapses from the sensations and finally dies forgotten like a mangy dog? How much he’ll have to deal with Akatsuki? When will the rage od the Great Wolf and his ancestors will end?

When will the curse end?

[nimedhel09]

Other Fairy Tail headcanons noone asked for

Yes, I have more. Again, be prepared for the longest post, but also for probably some Frenchisms and inaccurate English.

- Human-hating-and-eating dragons existed long before the war, but they were few, as human meat wasn't that good for most draconic tastebuds... Most of the dragons preferred to just ignore humans, as they were seen as lesser beings by a big part of the dragon population.

- Dragonof and Montes Secreta are a rare show of dragon-human symbiosis. The dragons protect the territory from invading forces, be they human, dragon or otherwise, and the humans take care of the dragons and feed them.

- Dragons and dragon slayers hoard. What exactly depends on each individual's interests.

-> Natsu likes to hoard stuff that makes him think of his friends... or that belonged to his friends before he hoarded them.

-> Gajeel hoards metal (because food), comfy stuff (mostly cushions, pillows and sheets) and he began hoarding books when he began to form a friendship with Levy.

-> Erza, of course, hoards her armor and weapons. She has a very difficult time parting from any of her belongings, which is why she always over-prepares for quests. The slayers and herself realize the origin of her "problem" when her parentage is discovered.

-> Rogue collects frog stuff. He had a passion for frogs as a child (seems like a headcanon I share with @pencilofawesomeness hehe) that never really went away. So each time he goes on a quest and sees anything ressembling a frog? He buys it. Frosch has many maaaaany frog onesies, in all the colours imaginable, as they also share Rogue's love for frogs, but her favourite is the pink one (yes, in my head, Frosch is a girl).

-> Sting hoards jewellry and gems. He loves the colours and the sparkliness.

-> Laxus collects music. He does not realize he hoards it until he hears the other slayers talking about their hoards and realizes he has a lot of vinyls in his house.

-> Erik/Cobra hoards miscellaneous stuff that catches his eye for longer than 5 seconds. Usually, it's small and he got in the habit of hiding everything in places he marks to find later, since he never had the stability of having a nest/cave/territory that belongs to him until after he was pardonned with the rest of Crime Sorcière.

-> Wendy hoards tea sets. She loves them, she loves to look at them, and each time she can find one that calls to her, she'll buy it and add it to her hoard. She also has a special tea set for visitors. It is the only tea set that people other than her and Charle/Carla can use or touch. Noone outside of the slayers, exceeds and Levy know that.

- The god and demon slayers also have biological modifications to get closer to the creatures they have the ability to "slay". Gray has little horns that his hair hides, he has night vision, which makes his eyes reflective in the dark (something that has freaked out a few guild members and people he had to fight against) and his teeth are very SHARP, although they're smaller than dragon slayer fangs and narrower.

- Juvia has had a very stern talking to by Cana, Mira and Erza about her harassing of Gray. Gajeel was not happy to see her so despondent afterwards, but when she explained what happened, he gently told her that it was something she needed to hear, because her behaviour was not OK. She still struggles with obsessive behaviour, low self-esteem and anxiety, but she gets help from Mest.

- Gray and Juvia have a talk when Juvia realizes that she does not want to be that person, and they finally get to have a healthy friendship. No romance, though, as Juvia finally grows out of her unhealthy obsession with Gray and realizes that's not what love is supposed to be.

- As a coping mechanism for... everything, Juvia bakes. A LOT. And she offers her confections to everyone in the guild. You know she is having a bad time if she brings a lot of pastries, and if it lasts for more than a day, it's very bad. Mira and Gajeel have developed a system without meaning to when that happens. Mira works on getting Juvia to cheer up and Gajeel gets her to open up to him.

- Mest never turned Brandish against August. Nuh-uh. No sir, he definitely did NOT. Also no pedophilic thoughts about Wendy. He finds her warm and adorable and he loves her as a little sister, thank you very much. He was also head over heels about Lahar and it took years to get over his death. He is understandably very weary of falling in love. He also develops a crush for Macbeth/Midnight after Crime Sorcière was legalized and the members came to mingle with Fairy Tail more often.

- Most of the members of the younger generation, at least, are not heterosexual (because sexuality is a freaking continuum, people). I might expand on this at a later date if anyone is interested.

- Jellal and Erza have a very serious talk and both work on their Tower induced trauma for years before they decide they might want to try a romantic relationship. Jellal is the one that has the most difficulty healing from the past and seeing Erza as a person instead of his saviour/deliverance/light and stops putting her on a pedestal.

- Erik talks to Kinana about Cubellios and how he thinks she might be his lifelong friend. Since Kinana has bad amnesia, she asks Mest to help her retrieve her memories, and, although everything is still quite hazy, she remembers her attachment to Erik. They slowly work through her memories, but Erik is very respectful and does not push Kinana into anything, he just wants to know her, and, maybe, if that could happen, his friend back. They end up slowly falling in love.

- Juvia is like a little sister to Gajeel. He is very protective of her, and she is the only reason he joined Fairy Tail. They stay close through the years, and Juvia ends up being the godmother of Gajeel's and Levy's children. Juvia is understably over the moon and spoils the heck out of her nephew and niece.

- The original appearance of most of the Celestial spirits is quite different than what it is nowadays. Leo/Loke's original appearance is closer to his Eclipse Celestial Spirits ark than his current one. He is a fighting spirit, after all.

- As there are 88 (accepted) constellations in the sky, there are 88 keys. The silver and gold ones are the most known, but there is another set: the platinum keys. Those keys are as powerful as the gold keys, but not much is known about them.

- Since opening a key gate demands so much magic power, celestial wizards have slowly decreased in numbers. Celestial magic is coming closer to becoming a lost magic every year. It does not help that Celestial wizards are so often used by dark guilds as sacrifices for dark intents.

- Many civilians think that, because there are "light" guilds and "dark" guilds, some magic powers are considered dark and light too. Which, in turn, makes them afraid of any kinds of magic that is not in the accepted definitions of "light". That's one of the reasons why Freed, Mirajane and Bickslow hated their born magic for so long. It took them years or even decades to stop the self-hate, with the help of their friends and family.

- Since the awakening of his etherious nature, Natsu has been terrified of losing control. Which made him train harder and subtly distance himself from the guild. Of course, the other slayers, Erza, Gray and Lisanna saw right through him and Lisanna confronted him about it and he spilled the beans.

- NaLi is a thing. They're very cute together. Natsu is not interested by sex (yep, he's asexual), but he loves the proximity with Lisanna so sometimes they do have sexy time, but not often at all.

- Mira is a big gossip, and she does the shipping thing, and she does try to imagine ship-kids, but when someone tells her they're uncomfortable/they don't want kids or she sees that she makes them so, she stops and apologizes and never does it again. Because Mirajane is a respectful friend that does not push her friends and family to follow patriarcal societal rules, thank you very much.

- Gray inherited his devil slayer magic genetically. So he was born with it. But it was dormant or sealed until Silver awakened it (it makes more sense that way, in my mind).

- Fairies did exist, but they are extinct in Earthland. They do still survive in another dimension with other elf-like beings (because I said so and because I like the idea of a Sidh in-universe, because travelling to parallel universes is a thing, so there!)

- Talking about that, there's a difference between parallel universes (Edolas) and dimensions (the place where Angel's "angels" dwell). A parallel universe is a different kind of world on the same "wavelength" as the one Fairy Tail exists, and a different dimension is in the same universe, BUT on a different level (you know, the 2D, 3D and so on, and so forth). But because I do not want to go full-on-nerd-mode-that-will-never-stop-talking-about-the-thing, I'll stop here.

- Minerva and Rogue are a couple and you cannot tell me otherwise.

- Talking about the saberkitties, that guild desperately needed to heal after Jiemma. It took them a lot of work to get to a level where everyone began to trust in their guildmates and the guild itself. Minerva is the one that had the hardest time, as she was the daughter of the abusive jerk and his favoured and longest victim.

- She also had the hardest time after Tartaros, because it took months for her to have a human body again. Sting, Rogue, Orga and Rufus were there every step of the way for her. She loves them with all her shriveled little dark heart.

- She stays a badass with some violent and cruel tendencies, but she's mostly awkward, nowadays. She feels most comfortable with Rufus and Rogue because they're calm and quiet. She also adore Frosch.

- It took Yukino months to decide that she might possibly want to rejoin a guild. She goes to Sabertooth to confront her bad treatment and the trauma from her excommunication and has the longest talk with Sting, although she sees that he's far from his cocky, rambunctious, confident self (because Tartaros + losing his dad + Minvera stuff going on). They have a heart to heart and Sting apologizes profusely about how he acted until the Eclipse gate thing. She accepts his apology, but still hesitates to rejoing the guild. Noone pushes her, but Sting asks her to at least stay around for a few days so that the other guild members can see her. She does, and gets apologies from everyone. However, she does not see Minerva, and since she was one of the biggest offenders when it came to bullying in the guild, she really wanted to confront her, but the situation is explained to her. Yukino rejoins the guild after a few weeks of hard thinking, and patiently waits for her very needed conversation with Minerva, although she does not push for it when she knows that things must definitely not be easy for the spatial mage.

- Orga is half Fioran and half Encan. That's why he weats the clothes he does, and has the tatoos. The facial paint he has during the GMG is because of a warrior tradition from Enca. He goes to visit his maternal family at least once a year. Although noone outside of his friend circle (which was noone during Jiemma's tenure) knows of that tidbit about his background.

- Freed, Rufus and Lucy are all from high society, but they never mingled or even talked. Freed's father was very strict and rarely allowed him to go to parties because he was never good enough, and then when his magic realized itself, he was too ashamed of the creature that was his son to even consider it. Rufus, on the other hand, was too young, but he saw Lucy from afar. He just never talked to her. Freed only knew of Lucy's name, but Lucy wasn't aware of him at all, because she would do anything to not do a good impression.

- Talking about Lucy, she is very sensitive to any kinds of comments about her physical appearance due to a childhood with the pressure of having to look like a perfect breedable doll, due to her father's expectations and just high society. Because she was seen more as an asset than a human being. And even though she rebelled about all the expectations, she internalized them still. She still struggles about it.

- Another thing she struggles with is: independance and freedom. Two things she never really had until she decided to flee her home. That's one of the reasons she kind of lets Natsu drag her on adventures too, because making decisions for her life and having the responsibility of her own destiny freaks her out and gives her major anxiety. She even had panick attacks about those.

- Lisanna had a very hard time getting used to Edolas, but also getting used to being back to Earthland. Her siblings and close friends (aka Natsu and Happy)? Even more so. Lots of angst and not believing it to be true and stuff. Also, she had quite a bit of difficulty reconnecting her Earthland friendships. She tended to see the guild as their Edolas versions for a while. But now everything's fine.

- The Raijinshuu bonded over their eye magic and their respect for Laxus, because he was the one to help them and make them join the guild.

- Laxus, under his not-approachable, cocky veneer, is just a very awkward sweetheart that has no idea how to interact with humans outside his three friends. He exudes big introvert energy and you cannot tell me otherwise.

- After the war, Laxus is lost. He does not know what to do without his grandpa. But the guild has to go on, so he tries to hide his grief and buries himself in work, because there is a lot to do. Of course his team sees it and with a lot of coaxing, he does properly mourn Makarov. He also goes to Porlyusica to talk about him and get help with his lungs (because there's scar tissue caused by the bane particles still there).

- For weeks on end, Erza and Laxus talk about who should be the next master, even though Laxus does not even want to take on the role anymore. And because no consensus is reached with just them, they decide to have a guild poll and let everyone choose their favoured candidates (could even be someone else, they do not care). In the end, poor Laxus still ends with the responsibility, and when he discovers all the paperwork his grandfather left, he nearly has a breakdown. Fortunately, Freed comes to the rescue, and when she hears about it, Lucy also helps. Lucy gets closer to the Raijinshuu and the new master that way and Freed, Laxus and her talk at length about their childhood, expectations and the verbal abuse they had to live through.

- When he discovers the amount of money that team Natsu makes the guild lose every single mission, and the destructiveness of most of the guild members, he decides to change that with the help of other guilds. The new Council, hearing this, jumps on the opportunity to try and get the guilds more involved because they do not want to keep on dealing with Fairy Tail nonesense. They have better things to do.

- Hisui gets more involved in the politics of the country and tries her best to make relations better with their neighbours Bosco and Seven. Since Bosco was hit the worst by the forces of Alvarez, she also organizes humanitarian missions that she sends to all the guilds in Fiore. Getting missions from the crown is a never seen before occurrence, but she thinks that it's a cause important enough to get involved. Her project pays, as relations with Bosco thrive after that.

- This also makes the population more curious about the other countries of Ishgar, as Fiore has always been mostly self-sufficent and autocratic.

- The Raijinshuu + Laxus (also, I hate that Laxus isn't officially part of the team and they're just his followers, come ooooon!) is actually the strongest team of the guild, but since they're not official, well... it's not official. Even without Laxus, the team is very efficient and rarely destructive. They have the advantage of all the members being quick thinkers and all of them are quite strategic, and if Freed tells them to do something, they do it without question. And even though Laxus is very powerful, he is also very analytic when he goes on missions, and even in fights. (Yes, I have a bone to pick with team Natsu when it comes with how they operate. Also, that particular way they work? Well, makes Lucy and Wendy not blend with them very well)

Ok, I think that's it for today. I might add to my list of headcanons, because I have MANY (too many to count).

Here's a little list of things I'd like to tackle at one point or another:

- where all the (time travelling) dragonslayers originated from and how they came into the care of their dragons

- Fairy Tail ships, sexualities and the why (aka, why I think nearly none of the characters are straight)

- Acnologia's backstory, but done in a way that does not make him one-dimensional, because the King of dragons deserves it, thank you very much

- Why I dislike the characterization of the cast, and what would have worked better from a narrative point of view (from my point of view as a reader, writer, someone who LOVES character development, but also maybe a bit someone who's actually studied literature in Uni)

- Maybe also ways for the magic system to actually have consequences? Because in the canon material, we've got nearly nothing for the main cast and I am annoyed.

- And probably some more worldbuilding, because you know I LOVE me some worldbuilding. I also think way too much about stuff, so yay?

[oumaheroes]

hii its bougie <3 if you're still taking hc requests, i was wondering if you'd have thoughts on something that's been on my mind for a while. i was interested in the nuance to english culture due to regional differences. eg.,dinner being called "tea" in the north of england, rugby being more popular in the south, the difference in how scones with jam and cream are enjoyed in Devon and Cornwall?? or how certain english accents are perceived as... "less attractive" i guess (the black country accents are unpopular apparently?) -- you'd probably know more about these particularities than me ;u;

i was wondering how these cultural differences might map onto hws England's character, and how they might influence his attitudes and behaviours. because there's such a clearly defined stereotype of the english that i think shape people's expectations of what the english are like, i usually think that Arthur usually consciously acts according to what counts as positive interpretations of himself. however, i love nuanced and somewhat subversive interpretations of his character, and am very curious if you might have any ideas on how these kind of internal regional differences might shape him.

--------------------

Bougieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee <3

I’m not gonna lie this sent me down a RABBIT HOLE of thoughts, so hang on tight cos we're gonna get messy.

Accents:

Let’s start with my personal favourite, so excuse me whilst I geek out for a second. I’ve gone into this area already in this headcanon, but I personally see England being a very proud little dragon regarding English accents, those both native and non-native to the British Isles. Focusing just on accents within England for this post, the way Arthur himself sees them, (regarding class and general preference), comes a lot down to how I see him feeling about language and the unification of England in general.

England is a tiny country. It’s really teeny, compared to some, and yet holds an incredible number of regional accents and dialects (from digging about the internet for a good source, I keep finding numbers ranging from 37 to 43). There are a number of reasons for this, but the one that I love the most is that accents are influenced by the previous/ influential other languages spoken in a given area. Accents on the East of England are more influenced by Viking invaders, both phonologically and via the dialectal words used, and accents/ dialects in the West are more influenced by Welsh, for example.

Accents and dialects tell the history of a place, all who ever came there and influenced it to some degree. The map of English accents is a patchwork quilt of old cultures and people now lost to time, but their ways of speaking have been preserved in the modern tongue. The old English kingdoms might now be mere counties- Kent, Essex, Sussex, East Anglia, etc- they may not have their own influence or language these days as they used to, but their old ways have been imprinted on their people of today whether they know it or not and they carry pieces of the past in their words and how they speak them. Older speakers of the Northern English dialects liek the Yorkshire dialect still use ‘thou/thee’ where this has fallen out in other areas, the Midlands and parts of the South-East still keep the ‘-n’ ending for possessive pronouns (‘yourn’ instead of ‘yours’, ‘ourn’ instead of ‘ours’), and there’s even some linguistic research into how Brittonic, the ancestor of Modern Welsh, influenced English structure and phonology (for references, see notes at the end).

Back to England the person (to contain myself slightly), his regional accents are a story of himself, his history being kept alive in all of its variety every day. He doesn’t hold a classist view of a ‘good’ or ‘bad’ accent because he knows why they’re all there- what languages and people influenced them and how these events affected him- the older generations now lost and forgotten being kept alive in the smallest of phonemes.

Every dialect, every accent, and every language tells the story of a people, from the smallest phonological marker right up to a language as a whole and England takes comfort and pride in his dialects and accents’ longevity and variety. He is as much of the North as he is the South, as much of the East as the West and a patchwork man born of patchwork cultures it makes no sense for him to favour one particular accent over another.

That being said, he is aware that there is a common cultural stance on accents as well as an opinion regarding ‘ugly’ ones, ‘common’ ones, and ‘classy’ ones, but he himself doesn’t partake in these ideas. I like to think that a nation takes on the speech of the people and the area they’re in, matching the person they speak to or the area they visit to relate to their people. So, for me a Chav Arthur exists as much as a Brummie one does, or a Scouser, or a Geordie, or a Cockney. They’re all English, and thus they’re all a part of him.

Class

I have to include this one, if only to touch on it lightly regarding accents and dialects. Class does influence which words you speak, arguably just as much as which accent (this is known as a sociolect). Although I said that England adopts the accent of whatever area he’s in, or whomever he’s talking to if they’re English, the class people are will also affect which words he choses to use.

Here’s a short example from here:

'It is pudding for the upper class. Dessert is sometimes used by upper middles, but afters and sweets very clearly put you below stairs.'

Have some more!

Upper class: Spectacles, Lavatory or loo, Die, Napkin, Sofa

Middle class: Glasses, Toilet , Pass on, Serviette, Settee or couch

(Working class is a mix but harder to find sources for).

This is where England treads a fine line. It could be that he again adopts more of a class lexicon regarding who he is speaking to, matching his people word for word. However, England is not unaware of the affects of class, regardless of how he himself feels, and also although class snobbery and divide frustrate him, he cannot deny using this understanding to benefit himself, which also conforms to how his own people behave. (I myself have, many times, diluted and filtered my speech to be seen as ‘better’).

Want to be seen as more reliable and powerful? Want to be taken more seriously? RP and Estuary English (a lot more so these days), hold undeniable sway and England is not above adopting a manner of speaking to come across ‘better’ or more polite, or a more ‘common’ accent to fit in with the working classes. I think of England as leaning more towards a working-class mindset- he’s very hands on, very up for and used to manual labour and this particular English class has always made up the bulk of his population. It makes no sense for a nation, who represents all of their people, to have a snide view or a preference for a particular group and England as a person I see is someone who does not enjoy the foppery and false airs of aristocracy.

That being said, England is an intelligent man. He knows how to work a room and use a crowd to his advantage, knows what must be done and what he needs to do to achieve a goal and if this entails courting the upper classes for a time then he will do so. He’s adepts at switching himself like a chameleon, blending his behaviours, accent, and dialect to match who he’s talking to to achieve a goal or to fit in with someone’s perception of him, or to gain influence or prestige. He also doesn’t hate his upper classes- they are of him too, and the middle and working class have their own prejudices and ideas against the others. But he doesn’t adopt a stereotypical distain of lower classes because to him, it really doesn’t make much sense.

Abroad, this need to cultivate a particular perception defiantly comes under greater pressure. RP and Estuary English are more well know, more heard and taught, and more recognisably ‘British’, and so these are what he uses when speaking English to other nations or foreigners, either wanting to uphold an image of himself (more so in the Victorian/ Edwardian period than nowadays) or just for the ease of being understood.

Regional Differences

Okay, this one is a lot more fun. Does England put in his milk first or last when making tea? Does he put jam first, or clotted cream when having a scone? Does he have chips with gravy, or curry sauce? Does he have dinner at 6, or 9? To marmite, or not to marmite.

Ah, that is the question, and England does not know the answer. Does he do what he does because that’s what he likes, or because that’s what his people do? He didn’t grow up with these habits, after all, they’re all relatively recent in his lifetime, and so these habits are defiantly things he cultures for a particular audience.

I’m not really sure if the above preferences are class based, (well, milk first when making tea is argued to be, but I can't find any sources I'd consider entirely credible. I put the ones I did find in the notes below, in case any one's interested), so it’s hard to get a sense of which one to use. Overall, it doesn’t matter which you do and neither is right or wrong, but the English feel strongly about them, one way or another, and often Arthur the man isn’t sure at all which one he himself actually thinks is better.

Food in another sense though is something he can be surer of. A Cornish pastie not from Cornwall is not worth eating, nor is a Bakewell tart outside of Bakewell. England can be very particular about this sort of thing and enjoys maintaining and supporting the ‘original’ flavour or recipe of a thing where he can, considering this to be the ‘best’. Sally Lunn Buns from Bath, Gypsy tarts from Kent, Eccles Cakes from Eccles.

England wants to preserve his food and culture and has what could be considered a snobbish view on the ‘best’ way of creating or eating his national foods. Some things he is more lenient with: he will eat cheddar cheese, whether or not it is from Cheddar, same from Cumberland sausages not from Cumbria. But he certainly has a preference and he is not afraid to voice this when asked for his opinion.

Okay, we're done

Phew! This had me digging out my old linguistic student brain. To anyone who has made it this far down, gosh golly miss molly thank you for reading! I hope you enjoyed the ride, and especially @prickyy who was kind enough to want to hear my opinions about all of this <3

----------------------------------------

Notes:

Brittonic influence on English:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Brittonicisms_in_English

https://scholar.google.co.uk/scholar_url?url=http://journals.mountaintopuniversity.edu.ng/English%2520Language/Celtic%2520Influences%2520in%2520English%2520A%2520Re-evaluation.pdf&hl=en&sa=X&ei=2ohDYdq3BoWImwHn6oWQAg&scisig=AAGBfm29zTF0FBCpd1KqDiAbjM-0X7nfoA&oi=scholarr (PDF)

https://scholar.google.co.uk/scholar_url?url=http://www.oppi.uef.fi/wanda/unicont/abstracts/14ICEHL_MF.pdf&hl=en&sa=X&ei=2ohDYdq3BoWImwHn6oWQAg&scisig=AAGBfm3UvOXbJEb0b51J73eBnTJvgGaQOA&oi=scholarr (PDF)

Sociolects and class distinction within language in English:

https://languageawarenessbyrosalie.weebly.com/social-dialects.html

https://www.grin.com/document/313937

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/U_and_non-U_English

Milk in tea first and the potential class reason:

https://www.theteaclub.com/blog/milk-in-tea/

https://qmhistoryoftea.wordpress.com/2017/05/11/milk-in-first-a-miffy-question/

[kaimaciel]

Can you give us more azores and madeira headcanons? My Azorean-American heart grew three sizes when I saw you did them a while ago and wanted to ask for more if you don't mind!

Sure! Shout out to all luso-descendants out there! You’re all beautiful! 

Azores and Madeira are fraternal twins and the oldest of Portugal’s children. Though they don’t see each other like father/child, they act more like equals, co-workers, or even roommates who happen to be related, due to them never leaving Portugal’s territory and consider themselves as part of him as much as the mainland. 

Azores is a sweet boy. He’s relaxed and enjoys his peace and quiet, planting his hydrangeas and looking after his cows. He’s a real cowboy, loves his cows, and keeps adding more. When he’s bored, he likes to wrestle bulls into submission. He’s terrified of his volcano and fears when it’ll erupt again.  

In fact, one of his proudest moments was when Spain tried to invade him while Portugal got caught during the Iberian Union, and he managed to repel him by realizing hundreds of raging bulls on him. 

He was born when Portugal colonized him with Belgium, thus he has a french sounding accent (and one of the hardest Portuguese accents to understand).

He has strong ties to America, ever since they built an Aerial Base on his islands for WW2. He’s also very close to his sister Madeira. 

Madeira is the more beligerant one, she was also raised by England. She has bone to pick with Brazil ever since he ruined her sugar cane business and (according to her) stole her Poncha recipe to create the caipirinha (though Portugal thinks they both copied him since he used rum to preserve oranges and limes during his sea travels). It doesn’t help that Brazil never remembers who she is. To this day, she still calls him “the brat” since she’s 81 years older. 

Madeira is a very good hostess and is a popular tourist destination. Her main rival nowadays is the Canaries, who is a Spanish autonomous region. She’s famous for her bananas.  

[cablestwisted]

phalanx facts: if possible! or nemesis.

NEMESIS FACTS (and some certifiably spicy lore opinions)

The tank outside of Nemesis Subterra is called the Stag, it featured in the Nemesis comic.

In the comics, the group known as the Phalanx used to be the Knights of the Round Table (the fellowship of King Arthur. I'm not kidding.)

The uniforms worn in the comics are very different to those worn by the phalanx as seen on the park, resembling power rangers style superhero outfits rather than full on military garb.

Important note: I wholeheartedly believe that the comics, while having some degree of truth to them in lore, are Phalanx propaganda - portraying the group as superheroes and twisting reality just a little in order to make themselves look mythological, as the rest of the lore states that the Phalanx are a specialist Military group formed by the Ministry of Defence in order to keep the Nemesis creature contained. However, it is worth noting that the story about the international defence system mentioned in the comics re-appears in the nemesis subterra videos. These videos seem to dispute the story of the Phalanx being created by the Ministry of Defence in response to the original incident, impying that they existed before their deployment at Alton Towers. The Phalanx are known to be quite powerful and apparently have a 48 hour response time to any incident around the globe that needs their attention, and have authorisation from most world governments to use any necessary force to achieve their objectives. Another fun fact, there’s a large system of caves and tunnels beneath the Nemesis site that stretch for 27 kilometres. Linking to my Ministry of Joy headcanons this means that beneath Alton Towers is like swiss cheese with all the tunnels and caves.

According to the comics, Nemesis is said to be of a species of creature that is known for plundering planets for their resources and food. Earth was initially protected from these creatures by a complex "mystic defence system" of monuments created by early humans that worked up until a cult destroyed the stone circle in Forbidden Valley.

Nemesis is said to have mind controlled this cult of early humans to do its bidding, and pulled a similar stunt with the village of Alton when it was awoken in the 90s.

Nemesis apparently invaded earth because of this gap in earth's defences and made a lair beneath Forbidden Valley.

Nemesis lay undisturbed in its lair until humans disrupted it trying to build a rollercoaster, and that's when the Phalanx, funded by the Ministry of Defence, sprung into action and quarantined Forbidden Valley.

The creature is shown to have an ability to mutate into various forms, and I theorise that this is due to rapid healing abilities - notably, it fused itself onto the rollercoaster tracks holding it down in multiple places.

It’s also been through a lot and got rejected by every galaxy everywhere because nobody understood it. Thus it’s very angry and considers most people, worlds, and civilisations to be irritating. It also draws energy from the earth’s core, and people gave their souls to it etcetera - It is incredibly angry that it’s now a rollercoaster. So far there have been 3 incidents caused by Nemesis that prompted a response from the phalanx - the main Nemesis events, the events of Subterra, and the events of Project 42.

Pictures from Project 42 display some posters from the Sanctuary in their labs, implying that the Ministry of Joy has some form of link to the Phalanx nowadays, despite a tweet from Alton Towers which I unfortunately do not have a source for which stated that the Phalanx have bigger things to worry about than the Ministry of Joy.

This is by no means all the info but some brief information at least lmao, hope this helps!!

[irkenheretic]

9. Most disliked character(s)? Why?

ok so im actually going to give a few answers because i have 3 characters i reallysuper dont like

so lets go:

my most disliked character from a purely canon stance is.... sizz-lorr. i feel like this is a pretty safe choice for Least Liked. like man he was an asshole to zim et cetera, sure zim escaped but idk i just dont like him at All. hes the kind of character i love to hate yaknow, frycook is one of my favorite episodes and i live to just yell at the tv whenever hes on 

but ngl the whole “sizz-lorr did nothing wrong” side of the fandom rubs me the wrong way. like you look me in the eyes and tell me that authoritarian-ass irken empire would be just.... fine with sizz-lorr enacting vigilante justice like that wrt finding zim and borderline torturing him? “its just like any retail job” man i remember when my mcdonalds manager made me climb into the ronald mcdonald costume that was filled with grease. standard part of the job!

(and yea they might be fine w the vigilante justice thing bc zim but i feel like theyd still give sizz-lorr SOME sort of punishment because that sort of thing is... generally frowned upon)

so yeah that side of the fandom really pisses me off bc theyre the type that tends to force their headcanons onto others and be The Correct Ones. like let people do whatever goddamn. im not reading ur dissertation on why sizz-lorr is a good guy..... im happy for you. or sorry that happened.

anyway im putting the other 2 under the cut bc then i can nuke the post if controversy happens

other most disliked: ZIB. in the comics he’s.... okay. he’s a cool villain! i liked the reveal! BUT THE FANDOM....... guys, y’know he was planning to commit multidimensional genocide, right? he’s not an uwu softboi? right? you know this right??? i REALLY like him as the worst traits of zim and dib combined and showing that dib can (literally and figuratively) BECOME zim in the worst possible timeline and im sure a sort of rehabilitation of him could be treated well but idk nobody rly does much w him other than making him a slightly more prickly dib to project on

i feel like its part of the fact that a lot of the fandom is newer fans from florpus where dib is more the good guy and WAY more mellowed out, so they tend to project on him, so when a Meaner Dib shows up they can project on him too while kinda sanding off the edges to make sure theyre not being TOO problematic 

(this phenomenon is why theres not much serious tallest stuff i dont think. many tallest fans r antis so they gotta be Nice N Pure so they cant actually do any deep dives bc theyre assholes and Bad Space Dictators so no nuance here! only funny jokes)

anyway my number one disliked character.... that i cant even watch the episode she appears in...

is TAK.

i just.... i just find her so overrated!! i thought id like her better nowadays since i disliked her AND gaz when i was younger but.... i dont??? I REALLY DONT GUYS..... I DONT GET IT!! (fwiw i fucking love gaz now)

her WHOLE schtick is just, Zim, But Better. it gets old REALLY quickly and i always thought her disguise kinda sucked? like, think about it. sure zim’s disguise looks shitty but its at least TANGIBLE. you can just... UR HAND IS GONNA GO THRU A HOLO THINGY!!! WHAT HAPPENS IF SHE HAS TO GO ANYWHERE AT NIGHT? OR IN THE DARK??? WONT IT GLOW?? SINCE ITS A HOLOGRAM???? every time i see her im like MA’AM WHAT IF DIB TOUCHES YOUR HAIR?? HIS HAND IS GONNA GO RIGHT THROUGH!!

also if she was such a brilliant invader she shoulda figured out how to get out of a room.... bet zim wouldve figured it out. sure he wouldve figured it out by blowing the whole building to smithereens but hey.... he figured it out!

and idk i just find her SO OVERRATED by the fandom like shes EEVERYWHERE and it just makes me hate her even more like idk i just donnnnnnnt get it shes NOT THAT COOL she just brooded for 20 years or however long it was until she could get to zim and kick his ass and take his already fake mission?? if she didnt have that hypno thingy she wouldve been toast.

[peculiar-shardscape]

Completely random headcanons that nobody asked for

-Yawgate, Morward and Pasless do Not understand personal space, and will sit directly next to you, when you’re not in the mood for it

-Yawgate’s starting to learn that it’s annoying. Morward and Pasless do Not have the braincell for that

-Voixer likes to keep their space, but will only invade your personal space if he needs cuddles. Please give him cuddles

-Nothing will stop me from believing that Umbra has magical powers, GO MAGICAL GIRL GO-

-I have NO idea if this is actually canon or not, but I like to think Sheldon created Miobot

-Miobot was NOT supposed to gain sentience but he did anyway and Sheldon is very much happy about it

-Totally did not scare the shit out of Evon who thought he got possessed by a demon

-Despair is a demon.... a good(not really) chaotic demon!! :)

-Anshine is a pacifist, but will most likely kill you if you refuse to let him wear dresses

-Mason and Trussey are huge dress fans. Disrespect their dresses and you’re out of Maytown

-Laoin/Arrolin is a HUGE plushie fan. Totally does NOT have a whole ass pile of plushies hidden in his home or anything

-As much as a 2braincelled shitnut as Evon/Signol is, he’s still a nice lad but i still want to punch him in the face

-Compale can change his own temperature anytime the FUCK he wants. He could be ice block cold or just kin himself as Ixol and set himself on fire

-Ixol disrespects everyone except Compale. Compale can and will threaten him if he does any shit

-Nobody disrespects Compale. He’s like a strict teacher when it comes to trouble

-Compale has a soft spot for anything extremely fluffy. He does not admit it though, and refuses to

-Ulipse has the habit of snapping at people, but can be extremely apologetic straight afterwards. By extremely apologetic, I mean they feel so guilty to the point they feel like you’ll never forgive them for anything

-Cyalm is British I’m sorry I’m in love with British accents and Cyalm is a fucking god I simp f—/hj

-Okay but take it like this. Cyalm considers himself a narrator, he drinks tea, and majority of the time, most British characters have a tinge of blue on them. Yes he’s cyan but shut the fuck up

-Shard Saviour does not know how to process being touched. Any physical contact will just confuse them unless they’re being attacked, having the fact they’re being used to fighting for a while

-Nobody ever takes into memory that the Red X was Cyalm’s first symbol he ever had, so like. I like to think Claud used to have a red aesthetic the first time he came to Maytown, but nobody ever knew that was Claud

-Compale seems like a serious and stern character, but you should see them once Christmas comes around. They’re fucking mad babey over Christmas and he vibrates out of pure excitement

-As soon as Christmas ends, Compale’s back to being serious and nobody knows what the fuck is happening

-Laoin/Arrolin is an artist and nothing can change my mind

-Mason and Umbra used to do clotheswaps a lot when they were younger, and they actually enjoyed doing so. Totally not the reason Mason really likes dresses nowadays or anything

-As besties as Mason and 1SS were, Mason and Umbra’s sibling dynamic will stay with me and my soul forever. I can not leave behind Mason and Umbra’s sibling dynamic

-Whett used to be a Maths teacher but he doesn’t speak about it

-This headcanon has been said several times, and it’s actually a pretty old headcanon, but I like to think “Randal” was prepoint Solgon’s birth name, but he just didn’t like it so he went by “Simon” instead. I’m sorry but I too cannot stand calling him Randal (ONLY because I automatically think of the purple bitch from Monsters Inc. when I hear “Randal.” I’m not kidding, that bitch will forever haunt my dreams)

-Despair/Ixol seems like a bad bitch, but if you flirt with him, he will literally Windows XP ERROR Message at you and is unable to process flirts. However, if he sees it as a compliment, you’re only bringing his hopeless ego up

-Evon will flirt back

-Ixol is actually touch starved but he refuses to let anyone touch him unless he truly trusts them because... Ew... People....

-Morward and Pasless are possibly the least human like compared to everyone else. Majority of the time, they’ll be on all fours, making very strange clicking sounds at each other. They too will also skitter on the walls and ceilings if willing to

-Laoin and Umbra really love moon cakes. Seriously, do you even know how good that shit is?

-Despair’s daily diet is of peanuts and gasoline

-Anshine can fluently play the flute. And thanks to that, my friend Florin made the headcanon that Mason, as a kid, used to play the freaking kazoo

I probably have a shit ton more but they’re somewhere

[justmailuck789]

Lightis ‘The Witcher’ AU Headcanon

Ever since I was watching Netflix’s The Witcher, my life’s never been the same. I was hot and bothered by it, constantly thinking about it…I was dying for more lmao. Thankfully, there is a Lightis day dedicated to The Witcher, so I thought…why not make silly headcanons about it? I will say though my knowledge of The Witcher storyline and the lore of it is very lacking, so if I got anything wrong, please accept my humblest apology. A bit of a warning though: The headcanon is very lengthy and long. And by lengthy I mean I did it from the beginning and end, because I couldn’t help it to be honest 😅. Hopefully, the undercut will save you guys from reading such a long post. If not, I’M SORRY. Blame Tumblr. Without further ado, let’s start! @lightisdays2k @givelightningherharem

So instead of the existent of “witchers”, there are l’Cie folks living in the world of Eos. And let’s just say these l’Cie have… “superhuman” powers such as strength, prediction of the future, high intelligence, healers, skilled hunters, and more. Finding a l’Cie is pretty hard nowadays since they’re all typically humans. And yes, to identify a l’Cie is if they have their brand on the skin. Most of them cover it up though.

Lightning Farron is a known mercenary l’Cie, always travelling and looking for some gil to feed for herself and sister. Light will accept anything that involves beast eliminations. But because of her always killing beasts, actual hunters who do this for a living get irritated. So, there are a few hunters who are willing to seek her and have her head.

Now let’s fast forward to where Lightning was minding her own business with Serah. The two were trying to find some wood for the fire to use for the night when they hear someone calling for help in the middle of the forest. Light instructs Serah to go back to the tent and hide. The older Farron investigates where the cry is coming from. Lightning finds a lone woman struggling to fight off a big behemoth. The woman’s magic is defending her from the incoming bites and scratches, but her powers are quickly fading. So Lightning comes to the rescue and easily defeats the behemoth before it can eat the woman for dinner.

The woman is thankful for Lightning and asked what she wanted. Lightning has nothing she desires, but the woman insisted. She decides to invite Lightning and Serah over to an upcoming banquet with a neighboring country from Niflheim. This is when Lightning discovers she and her sister are going over to some royal banquet and finds out the woman is Queen Aulea of Lucis. And yes, Queen Aulea knew that Lightning is l’Cie (and Serah too).

So at the banquet, Queen Aulea is already exposing the fact that Lightning and Serah are l’Cie, a race that is thought to be extinct.

Let’s say there as an assassination attempt on King Regis in the banquet (they were probably Niflheim spies, but no one knows), but Lightning has yet again saved the royal family and putting that assassin behind bars. Thankful once again, Queen Aulea asks if there is anything Lightning wants. Lightning does not want anything but finding her “focus”.

Every single l’Cie that is breathing in Eos were destined to find their “focus”. If they were fulfill it, then that l’Cie will be granted eternal life by turning into crystal. Or if they fail/give up finding it, then they turn into a beast. But for the sake of this AU, imma say that the l’Cie were already granted eternal life without being turned into crystal, staying forever in their 20s-30s.

ANYWAYS…the element of surprise comes to play when Queen Aulea suddenly vomits in the banquet! “What did you do?!” Regis panicked. His Queen is pregnant, and it’s linked towards Lightning. Of course, I’m not saying Light is gonna be the mother of Noctis in the future, but he is gonna be connected towards her “focus”.

Destiny (and Serah) starts throwing clues at Lightning about the future of Lucis and the whole world, but Lightning coolly dismisses it because she thinks it’s all foolery.

12 years and 9 months later, Insomnia falls. Just hours before the fall, Lightning and Serah decided to visit Insomnia, after the two sisters had an argument about how the past events they got themselves into were just too coincidental to begin with: like how Lightning was unable to sleep that whole week, the vague words of a dying princess she was hired to kill. Lightning eventually agrees with Serah to accept the fact she and King Regis’s child were meant to be. However, King Regis refuses and puts Lightning and Serah in prison.

Once Niflheim invades Insomnia, Lightning and Serah escaped the prison. They both see that King Regis is dead, making it a very high priority for Lightning to search for the kid.

I KNOW IT’S STUPID BUT HEAR ME OUT--Oh yeah and maybe Serah turns into crystal after fulfilling her “focus” when she tells her sister to find Noctis, now that things are starting to get real.

Meanwhile, 12-year-old Noctis escapes Insomnia, his father’s words of “finding a l’Cie named Lightning, for she is your destiny”. Now I dunno if I want to add in Noct’s friends (Prompto, Gladio, and Ignis). …Maybe I should since it’ll be weird to have Noctis to be by himself. Don’t worry, none of them dies!

Of course, Niflheim does find out Prince Noctis is still out there, alive…and the emperor wants him dead.

At some point, Lightning and Noctis meets up. The real fun begins here because lklfkds. Lightning trains Noctis and the boys most of their lives. Of course, the beginning of training wasn’t too fun in Noctis’s eyes. Wooden swords? Fighting with dummies? LAME. Noctis wants some real training, but Light is so damn strict. She probably made him run about 3 miles and back to her home as punishment.

Noct will quickly learn that Light also has a soft heart. Light can be relentless with her kills whenever there were beasts or bandits within her property, it makes Noct wonder if she’s “human”. This all changes when he sees her tending to an injured black wolf pup. He thought she was gonna kill it, but she didn’t. She was nice enough to let him keep the pup since she can tell the pup is an orphan. Thus, Noctis affectionately names the wolf Umbra hehehe.

Along with the intense training Noct and boys were doing, there were also some cute moments within Light’s house. As a little boy with child-like tendencies, Noctis wanted to play in the beach near her home instead of training today. And because Noct was being so damn cute, Light couldn’t deny him and let him relax. He swore he saw her smile for a second.

And maybe…just maybe…Noctis started to develop feelings for Lightning. He shook his head, it’s only a small crush. I mean she is pretty and all, but she probably has a lover or something…right?

Then about 6 months later (after the beach time fun), some snitch pointed a finger at Lightning’s house, and a small Niflheim army marched over there. SHIT! Lightning cursed and woke Noctis and the boys up. The only thing Noct heard from her is “RUN!” before she clashed a sword with a Niflheim soldier. Noctis wanted to fight, too, but he was too young. So he and the boys fled off while Light fights off every soldier. And it took her a while, got a few injuries, but she survived. She tried to go look for him, thinking maybe he’d hid somewhere but he was nowhere to be found. Light searched high and low for him without any luck.

And let’s say Noct and the boys were caught, but Niflheim only got him in less than a minute because Noct somehow warped away from his captures and escaped with his friends. The boys never really did reunite with Lightning now that Niflheim knows Noct is on the run.

Years later, Lightning finally gets a lead of Noct’s whereabouts after looking for him in what it seems like forever. She wouldn’t know how old he is since it’s been THAT long the last time she saw him. He’s must be an adult by now…she guessed. She eventually learns that the young prince is looking for royal arms scattered around Eos and attempting to defeat Niflheim by himself and his friends (also reclaiming the throne as the rightful king of Lucis).

She would be so close in reuniting with him after years not seeing him, but he’s always a step ahead of her. While Noct is on his mission, Niflheim is also tracking him down. Being the last prince of the Caelum family, he is still connected to the Crystal’s power. And let’s pretend that Emperor Aldercapt can’t get his wrinkly fingers on the Crystal, so as long as Noctis is still alive, which is the reason why Niflheim is hunting him down.

FINALLY, Lightning and Noctis reunite in Altissia! Light would notice…Noct grew to a fine young man, as well as Prompto, Gladiolus, and Ignis. But their happy little reunion would be cut short when there’s word that the Niflheim army is approaching. And Noct and Light knew they wouldn’t be able to fight the army with only five people, so they need to round up few more people. Noct would be asking around the people in Leide region, Duscae, and Tenebrae while Lightning will be rounding up other l’Cie folks, Cleigne region of Lucis, and talking to first secretary Camelia in Altissia.

With the whole world of Eos fighting against Niflheim, the empire army gets a bit overwhelmed heh. The army retreats. But it’s not a celebration yet! Emperor Aldercapt is still alive, and Noct is determined to kill that old man now that he has the 13 royal arms with him.

LET’S TALK ABOUT THE DAMN ROMANCE NOW THAT NOCTIS IS OLDER YAYYYY 😘. Noctis actually wanted to reunite with her earlier, but things keep getting in the way. Maybe Light started to feel attracted to him too when she sees him for the first time in years. Even though he has physically changed, he’s still the sweet boy she remembers. Oh yeah don’t worry Umbra is here too!

In battle though, Noct is little too eager to fight and wants to go in head on with his warp strike. Light would be annoyed by it and the two would argue about how they battle. For example, Noct would sometimes overuse his Royal Arm weapon which drains him and make him vulnerable to attack. Light would be there to deflect the attack and give him a potion. And Ignis and the others would tell Noct he needs to be careful. To his defense, he forgets, but not when Light is yelling at him as if he just committed a murder and didn’t tell anyone.

Now there was a point where Noct and Light were doing a side mission where they were attending a masquerade ball because there is a former Niflheim spy wishing to talk to Noct and spill the tea about the emperor’s plan. The ball itself was beautiful. Light was beautiful in a dress. Noct couldn’t stop staring at her. There was that one time a drunk was stalking them and hitting on Light, that it made Noctis to kiss Lightning to show that she’s supposedly “taken”. The kiss was sweet. She realized…he’s a good kisser 😩.

They probably banged a few times too when the chemistry starts heating up. First time was when they were arguing after the fact a djinn escaped and Noct wanted to use it to grant three wishes 🤭. Light knew djinns are no joke, so she fought and freed the djinn, making Noct pissed hehe. Their second time was when Noct confessed his feelings to her. “You’re important to me…” he whispered in his sleep.

Pillow talk moments where he learns how she craves to be human again instead of being a l’Cie, how he promised her they’ll get rid of the l’Cie mark together, even though it look sexy as hell on her left shoulder 😉.

Romance aside, Noct, his friends, and Light now are gonna prepare to fight Emperor Aldercapt once and for all. They knew the fight is gonna be tough. The travel from Lucis to Niflheim will take them a while. The party created a plan to infiltrate the imperial palace. A group of l’Cie mages will create a magic barrier around the palace to prevent anyone from leaving and/or entering the premise. And if the backup tries to harm the l’Cie, Ignis, Gladio, and Prompto will be there to defend.

Noct and Light would be the one fighting Emperor Aldercapt. It was a tough fight. The old man sure can use his magic pretty well 😯. Noct was gravely injured at some point and was about to be killed when Lightning jumped in took the hit!

But…BUT. Time suddenly stops! Light meets Etro Herself in another dimension. Seems like Etro is mad that Lightning is intervening Noct’s inevitable death. But Light wasn’t going to let it happen because she loves him. Then Etro says something about Light’s focus, which is to make sure Noct doesn’t die and that he is crowned king. But because Noctis is gonna die, it’ll mean Light has failed her focus, but she’s not gonna have that shit. So you know what happens? She fights with Etro 😱. Light ended up winning and decided to let Noctis live and make Light defend the incoming blow once time resumes back to normal. Unbeknownst to her, she didn’t notice her l’Cie brand is gone.

At last, Emperor Aldercapt is defeated! Noct and his friends are now deemed heroes of Eos. Noctis wants Light to be queen, so they married and start rebuilding Insomnia to its former glory 😊.

[cerealla]

james hurley and zim!!

Ha! Thank you, Lulu!!

Zim

How I feel about this character: A dumbass. Likely a child. Tumblr’s big-brain moment when the movie happened was putting Zim in more a kid-like light (be it as an alien experiencing Earth culture through human children, or an alien that’s the same age as them), and that’s kind of how I see him now. I think he can be a real danger to Earth, what with all the creepy inventions he’s made, but in the way of having a toddler with a magnifying glass over an ant colony. Except the toddler is standing in the colony. And the ants are fire ants. And he has the magnifying glass pointing in wrong direction (at his face). In the end, I like the idea of him getting used to Earth and understanding that his home planet kind of hates him, so he puts the world domination thing to rest and moves on. Maybe switches gears and has more fun being an evil 12-year-old than a wannabe dictator.

All the people I ship romantically with this character: I confess, back in my edgier middle school days, I used to ship him and Gaz, but not anymore. Invader Zim isn’t exactly the kind of place for ships, specifically since most of the characters are kids (and the world they live in is so damn comedically dark).

My non-romantic OTP for this character: His and GIR’s friendship is actually adorable. Zim had more chill moments than I initially remembered, some of which he’s just tolerating GIR’s antics. The potential of him getting along with the Membranes is also cute.

My unpopular opinion about this character: I have no idea what the general opinions of the IZ fandom are nowadays. I thought people were shifting away from shipping Dib and Zim, but I’m pretty sure I’m wrong. Otherwise, I don’t ship that and I think it’s weird. The situation is two-fold: either Zim is the same age as Dib and you’re shipping pre-adolescent middle-schoolers, or Zim is actually OLDER, and... yeah. Naw.

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon: Nothing I can really think of off the top of my head. See more of Irken culture? That’s not a Zim-specific question, I know. Maybe the comics talk more about that.

James

How I feel about this character: Also a dumbass, very much a child. Wanna give him a hug. WASTED by the writers. Most of my love for him comes from me filling in the holes with headcanons. 

All the people I ship romantically with this character: Not even Donna, and certainly not Laura or Maddy. It’s all a disaster. He and Bobby have some potential, but I see that more as a confused, budding-bisexual, teenage fling than anything else. Like they kiss once and they have no idea what to make of it and maybe decide to keep their distance, and end up becoming friends in the process.

My non-romantic OTP for this character: Bobby, because they both need more friends, and they’d make a good duo (comedically). Freddy, too. Also Shelly (she said he was always cool, so I’m inclined to believe they interacted at some point).

My unpopular opinion about this character: People’s opinions on James have been shifting in recent years, so I don’t think saying the kid ain’t the worst character ever is all that controversial anymore. Maybe one would be that his and Laura’s romance was not legitimate, and based more on fantasy than anything else. Don’t get me wrong, I think they certainly cared about each other, but compared to Bobby and Laura, who knew each other fully and painfully, their relationship appears to lack grounded substance.

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon: HAVE SCENES WITH CHARACTERS OTHER THAN MADDY, DONNA, AND ED. Something with Nadine! Something with Norma! That deleted scene with his mom! You’d think the former two both would be presented as these prominent potentially-maternal figures in his life (one as his aunt, the other as his uncle’s girlfriend), and to balance out the strained relationship with his mother. That’d be cool! I also wish he didn’t leave town the way he did, or at least so soon. What if he met Annie? What if he met Hank? What if we explored his feelings over Ed dating Norma while Nadine was incapacitated? What if the stuff with Evelyn made him reflect on Maddy and Donna (and Laura), and made him see his uncle’s affair in a different light? What if we saw him deal with Nadine’s memory loss vs his mother’s absence? What if he punched Mike in the face? Someone build me a time machine so I can become a Twin Peaks writer and save my boy from being neglected in the writers’ room.