#they haven't experienced all of the same horrors but there's still some shared ones

[fullscoreshenanigans]

@goldiipond I think she's still a sister candidate at this point since they wear identical outfits to the moms, there's six of them behind Yukko in the full shot putting the total two over the five-plant limit

and a minute earlier in the episode Isabella says "the sisters have received their orders as well" to Peter.

It's still really bizarre in-universe though because for whatever reason they are so hard-pressed for people to fill this temporary role to move the kids out of Grace Field that they fast tracked her promotion when there's got to be dozens of sisters reassigned to the the roles of infant caretakers, doctors, chefs, etc. who would be more seasoned and trustworthy, but if this is meant to be a test of its own for them then I guess it makes sense? Still sad they didn't intend to do anything with it for story purposes.

What if uh...what if Michelle and Olivia? W little Ray

And AU with post canon Olivia and Michelle w Ray:(

Going to preface this with how amazing it is people will send me asks on topics I've had vague drafts of for ages but for whatever reason never published them.

(Evidence of my drafts and queue being fucking messes)

But yes, I'm still really attached to the idea of young sister candidates who still have siblings alive old enough to remember them being able to reunite with said siblings upon the farm system being dismantled, and one of the things that's most appealing about the Emma and Ray & Goldy Pond Resistance kids dynamics for me is them regaining that type of older sibling relationship after they had been the oldest siblings of their family for months if not two years since Susan was shipped out (this is also applicable to Norman with Vincent, Cislo, and Barbara post-imperial capital battle).

It's also a bit funny how CloverWorks provides a bit of foundation for this AU, saving Michelle from death because they wanted to save time and resources by reusing her model for one of the sisters that shows up in S2 episode 10.

Arguably one of the best changes they opted for, though they do nothing interesting with it. There's so much melancholic and healing potential upon a reunion with the younger siblings who still remember her and Olivia after spending years in a cutthroat environment that fostered division and systemic exploitation.

With Ray specifically, there's the belief he failed them by letting them walk off to their fate without lifting a finger to stop it or even just provide them with a warning, anything to give them an advantage and show he loved and cared about them, but in his pragmatic planning, he prioritized Emma and Norman over them, and that old regret and shame resurfaces.

And they're left with that dawning, muted realization of "ah, that explains why he'd get so sad every time a sibling left."

(Chapter 181.1)

Knowing he suffered in silence for so long and having been unable to provide him with a true sense of safety like an older sibling should, a new layer of sorrow tinging the memories of attempting to comfort him, sometimes with him maybe briefly lashing out due to something they said being unintentionally hurtful (e.g., "I'm sure they're happy with their new parents" because no they're not they're not they're not they're dead) but always ending with him curling in on himself and wanting to be left alone. Even during the few times it seemed like they were successful (though looking back, Susan and the collective efforts of Emma and Norman probably held the higher success rate), that ache is still present.

Again, lot of healing potential in that initial reunion hug between them and subsequent late night talks of mutual support where tales of their respective horrors slip out and worries over the search for Emma ebb and flow. (You could also go the route of him opening up about the full extent of his relationship with Isabella, though I'm firmly of the "there is no way in hell he is ever bringing that up until his 20s at the earliest unless prompted by an outside force" camp).

I would extend this out to all the older Grace Field kids from Ray through probably Nat though, if only because the first light novel already highlights Ray has a special attachment to Susan that it feels like he's taking up a disproportionate amount of spotlight without inherently offering a more unique spin on such a relationship, and we see Michelle and Olivia interacting with Emma and Norman a bit too, which is also precious.

(TPN Light Novel 1: A Letter from Norman - “The Ghost Incidents at Grace Field House;” the younger siblings listen to Olivia recount her sighting of a ghost with rapt attention.)

(S1 Ending 1 & Ending 2; some younger children sitting around Olivia as she reads them a story.)

(Chapter 12 Bonus Comic; Michelle and Olivia being won over by Emma and Ray to push for being able to see a sick Norman.)

(Minerva Confidential Report Key Animations for S1 Ending 1 & Ending 2; Michelle having a lively conversation with Emma and Norman as they walk through the first floor hallway of Grace Field. There's an argument that this isn't Norman because we can't see a hint of his shark fin cowlick, but unless this is when they're all walking to to push to see a sick Norman, I default to it being Norman since Ray is in the full shot so there's a complete trio babies snapshot.)

(Chapter 181.1; Michelle and Olivia trying to help ease the distress Emma and Norman are going through at seeing Ray cry.)

(Chapter 181.1; Michelle and Olivia with Norman wishing one of their young brothers well on his shipment day.)

(Chapter 17 | Chapter 32; Don and Ray fondly remembering Michelle and Olivia among their siblings who were shipped out, respectively, and interestingly both deeply internalizing how close the two were with each other by each remembering them in a side hug, though this might have just been for Demizu's drawing convenience.)

[idv-sunsxin3]

Horropedia// Valentine's Day with S/O

Note// Valentine's Day... Not like i would often celebrate much, but that's why i have my pookies with me./ih

___

Before dating you, I think Valentines' Day wouldn't cross his mind much at first. Besides the idea of buying a gift for his grandpa... or treat himself by using his break looking through horror Galleries and book sections.

It is wrong to say that Valentine's Day is just meant for couples. It's a day for celebrating love in all its forms, from self-love to love between friends and family members after all.

I guess he haven't experienced much about giving gifts to other kinds of people. Like it's sometimes rare to see people give gifts to friends during Valentines' unless they are big BFFs-- Horropedia doesn't have a lot of people to talk with about his interests, nor seeing to be as close to anyone in an extent of being more intimate. Until he got to know you, then established a relationship with you.

"I used to not like this holiday much, you know?" Horropedia would say on every February 14th. Having this smile that seems to be recalling a nostalgic feeling.

"You remind me every year, honey." You would half heartedly say the same.

He would be most likely a bit awkward when it comes to looking through that certain holiday- wondering if he should give you something in your first Valentines' together as couple.

I feel like he wasn't too active in the first year of relationship until the time goes by as he slowly finds himself hanging out with you more often. 

You both probably didn't took much of a deal when it comes to the holiday, going on with your lives as you interact with one another normally like an everyday manner. You both didn't ask much from another besides each other's sweet company.

Eventually, he convinced himself in your 2nd-3rd year dating to get chocolates or even a squishable, like ones of a ghost, plague doctor, or a kitty grim reaper;;;;

Valentines Day will often be the day where you two still have to follow your daily routine. So, during work on his break, he would sneak the gifts on your desk or at your suitcase room before quickly coming back to his spot - rather than giving them to you personally.

4th year is when he decides to give gifts to you personally now, feeling more confident and comfortable in the lovely relationship he has with you.

5th year is when he would happily offer to go to some new place with you after your duties before coming back home to have a sleepover.

So on... some things seem to be done differently after the previous.

Dating Horropedia likely happened after you both knew each other so well since you were at the orphanage, taking care of the grades while also doing these kinds of teenage sillies for the last few years there.

Instead of plants, I would imagine Horropedia giving random mushrooms or a jar of bugs in your locker as a gift of affection(....help)

Either if after that went well or not, he would apologize if you point out that you are not a fan of that stuff- your patience will be well-appreciated as sometimes he can't even read the room himself... 😭🫠😔🥺

But well, during those orphanage years, there are few times during February where you both try out each other's boxed candies or chocolates during lunch period. Sitting together in the cafeteria and trying out the delicacies as Horropedia would randomly infordump whatever he brainrots in those hours/ih

And even currently, while now older, you're still pretty much following that tradition with him.

"See, Josh? This is the true meaning of Valentine's Day!" You would chirp at him as you try the new limited edition of your favorite dessert brand.

"Horror romance movies... a box of wine, and enough candy to kill a horse???" Horropedia notices the now big mountain of sweets with only 2 bottles of wine on the shared tables. Adjusting his glasses by the sight.

"You heard me!"

"Babe, I love you, I do. But If I eat one more piece of chocolate- I think I'm going to throw up."

Nonetheless, you both continue on and just enjoy whatever the limit that seems good enough for the both of you. I had these deep but pleasant conversations and got a bit tipsy in each other's arms on the couch. You both watch these classic and modern films together.

I think Horropedia probably would try to take one single flower arranging class- just to see if he can even make the ideal flower bouquet for you...

It went not so great, effort counts though./ih

One funny story as well is that Horropedia once gifted you something... huge in your 7th year during the orphanage years. Like some kind of ghost busting backpack-

As seniors to the arcanists, juniors couldn't judge much at the sight, knowing you too as they look up to you. Whereas the fellow seniors merely take quick, confused glances before minding their own business, going to their lockers, or rushing their butts to their next class.

Like he suddenly came up to you as you opened your locker and present you the bag sized item that is wrapped in a red bow...--

"Thank you--- but I can't even fit this in my locker, Josh! What should I do?

"Well, looks like you'll just have to carry it around all day! Everyone will know you’re all mine." ;)

Kidding, he'll help you carry it around if it's too much for you to grab- Or even a couple of textbooks as e escorts you to your classroom;;;. X')

I have the feeling that sometimes, I think Horropedia is attractive enough to lure some people in the orphanage during the teens/ih

There would be times when some girls would ask him if he's free to go somewhere with them during the love holiday- but his answers will always be the same. Even after the graduation.

"I'm sorry... Y/N already asked me out- Also, wanna take a look at this horror novel? Pretty cool, huh?" :D

"Oh? A hang out on friday? Ahhhhh,,, sorry, I have plans with Y/N for 3 days starting Friday.... Maybe next time???" <:)

"Date? Oh sheesh, sorry, I'm taken. And I'm very faithful. I will say." :)

"Oh- sorry, dude. I have a haunted mall date with Y/N- and when I say haunted mall, I mean that abandoned, haunted mall from 10 blocks away from here. I'm sure it'll be fun for us- they even plan to bring a picnic basket for lunch! *sighs* i like them so much;;;." <33

Yes. You're the one driving. There are times he would drive normally, and other times he would drive ✨️extreme✨️...

Yes. He'll ramble stuff about "horror" and you in the one same sentence. He just finds that very appealing for some reason-

And if not, he'll probably would seem to be the type to not get too interested in Valentine's Day, often still seeming to behave the same as every other day.. The ones who know him very well can describe otherwise. They would already notice the change on his plans as they seem to have you more involved than usual.

[evansbby]

I miss Gaza. I miss my family. I miss my friends. I miss my home. I miss the walks on the beach with my cousins. I miss the corner shops where everything was cheap. I miss going to the mosque with my friends and family. I miss going to the park with my brothers. I miss my school. I miss my kitten Kiki. I miss the summers spent at my grandparents. I miss walking to school with my brothers and talking about what we're going to do afterwards. I miss going to the library every day and constantly reading new books. I miss picking out new dresses at the store. I miss riding my bike with my cousins. I miss my neighbor Mohamed who I would always play chess with. I miss Palestine, my home.

My world turned upside down when my parents told me we were moving, seeing them hastily pack up everything. I was eleven years old, not knowing why we had to leave our home. I remember hearing my mom cry in the other room on the phone with my aunt. I remember my dad driving in a hurry. Nobody wanted to tell me what was happening, but deep down I knew. And then we were in Egypt, my parents were scared that we'd get sent back, if it wasn't for my dad's connections I think we'd be dead by now.

Next thing I know we're on a flight to, in my mom's words, "the big tower clock country" (we were going to London in). Seeing my uncle waiting for us at the airport and talking to me about how much fun it is here and how I'd make lots of friends. All I could think about if there was a chance that l'd ever be able to go back home. Eleven years later and I still haven't been able to go back home. I had to learn to live with the racism, the Islamophobia, the zionists, the constant hate against my people. I had to learn to cope with the dead of my family members, my friends, my neighbor. Luckily some of my close family could also leave, but then a lot could not and I'm honestly not sure how many are still alive.

I'm incredibly grateful and lucky that I was able to get to a safe country, yet I still miss everything back home. I'm so incredibly thankful to everyone who attended the march for Palestine in London and overall just in any city over the world. Hurts my heart seeing Noah Schnapp holding stickers that says 'zionism is sexy' while Bella Hadid got death threats because she speaks up about Palestine. My point in sharing my story is to remind people that the Palestinians you hear about in the media getting murdered, ALL had lives, they all had dreams, they all had friends and families, they all had their whole world taken from them. They are innocent human beings.

I still hold out hope that one day, I'll be able to take my kids to see the Gaza that I saw. 🇵🇸🩷

I’m so sorry 💜 I know nothing that I say could even comfort you at all. But thank you for choosing to share this with me, I can feel the pain in your words. The pain of being forced to leave your home and being so young that you don’t even understand why. And being so scared and confused… my heart truly goes out to you and the millions of others in Gaza who have been displaced, or lost their homes, lost the land they grew up on, lost their lives or the lives of their loved ones. It’s an actual modern day horror, what we are witnessing.

This is real, individual people we are talking about. As you said, they all had lives, all had dreams, all had hobbies and interests the same as we do. And it’s crazy the luxury we have, us who have never known the struggle or heartbreak of being displaced. Of experiencing a literal genocide. I am so privileged to be able to sit comfortably in my bedroom knowing that no one could just come and claim it as theirs. That no fuckass rich white bitch from Brooklyn New York could just shack up in my house and call it HER land. (Sorry for my language, it just makes me so angry. The way some people are reacting across the world makes me so angry… and I know it makes you ever angrier and more upset.)

My heart goes out to you and I pray to Allah that you will one day return to a free Palestine. To a free Gaza and your people can rebuild what was so cruelly taken from them. The same people who were so cruelly dehumanised by the Zionists and their religious ethnostate of “Isr*el.” I have no sympathy for the Zionists or their supporters. I have no respect for privileged celebrities like Noah Schnapp and others like that woman from the big bang theory, who can sit so comfortably in their mansions and feel like they know what is going on and try to persuade others to support their Zionistic views. When there are brave Palestinian children, women, men, babies, all innocent, all dying and they think the world has turned their back on them. All they have now is their faith.

I’m speaking to you straight from my heart, I know I don’t know you. But what you’ve said has touched me so much and I wish I could do more. I’m happy that you were able to escape and your immediate family is safe, I’m happy your father had the connections he did. I mourn the loss of your homeland, but I’m praying for you and all your people. And I will not forgive or forget what every single Zionist (celebrity or every day person) has said, how they have acted, what they have chosen to support. Years from now they will say they were brainwashed, misguided, they’ll sweep it under the rug and they’ll be forgiven but I will not forgive them.

There is hope in my heart seeing how many people (1mill+) that showed up every Saturday to protest in London, and all over the world in support of Palestine. The strongest thing in this world is hope… and faith. In my opinion. And it hurts, because reading your vivid memories, and how well you remember your home… But I know it won’t be for nothing. Idc if this sounds sappy but I’ll hope and pray for a free Palestine, and for you to go home one day.

[moogghost]

happy three years to pmtok! it's been almost two whole years since i first got into it and my obsession with the goofy office supplies still shows no sign of stopping any time soon (i was gonna do another quick thing of harlow and coda after the olly and olivia one but alas i have work today so </3)

(i have. a silly mini essay under the cut just about how funny game impacted me personally that's all it is reading it is totally optional <3)

i think i did this last year too i genuinely cannot remember but i probably did but. once again i cannot stress how much of an impact this game managed to have on me (like. literally. speaking system stuff for a brief moment we have a few pmtok introjects that regularly front lmfao). i didn't get into the game until a few months after the first anniversary, and it was only after listening to some of juno song's lyrical covers of the los themes that i actually got invested enough to watch a playthrough (bc fun fact i did not actually own the game. still don't btw i just haven't gotten around to actually getting it now that i have my own money </3). one thing led me to another and then i ended up sketching the design for my scissors/saxen in the middle of my biology class lol

i've grown to genuinely enjoy writing my los and their lore, and seeing my art and character design improve and change since i first made them - and wanting to share them with people who were also fans of the game was what led me to actually try joining discord servers again for fandoms (i didn't do it or try to make friends in this fandom for several months bc i freshly experienced The Horrors in a previous fandom lol), which i'm glad i decided to do - almost all of the people i consider friends to this day are solely bc of that decision to join funny pmtok discord server despite the anxiety attack i was having at the thought of joining a whole fandom server again

so uh yeah! pmtok genuinely is a game that means a lot to me, despite having never gotten a chance to play it personally for myself lol. i genuinely don't think i would be the same person if i hadn't happened to listen to the juno song's cover of the handaconda boss theme bc i was fucking obsessed with that funny hand snake despite not having that much interest in paper mario prior lol

[sparklecinnamonbunny]

And if you're still doing asks, please entertain me with some you haven't gotten yet, for which you have some really good answers. Two for Sunday and two for Envy. Can be the same or different. Dealer's choice :3

*Puss in boots voice* For you baby, I could be. Hitting 23 and 39 for Sunday, and 3 and 26 for Envy. These answers get pretty long, so you can find them under the break!

23. Would they prefer reading books or listening to an audiobook? Besides, would they rather read for someone or have someone read for them? Sunday unironically owns and listens to Nathan Explosion Reads Shakespeare. She was disappointed to hear there was a whole session Pickles forgot to record. She usually has her headphones on and an audiobook playing when she files the week's incident reports at American Voice Showdown. That said, her guilty pleasure 'adult romance' novels? Print only.

If she had to share a book with someone, she'd prefer to be the one reading. In the AU where she has Charlene, her child with Skwisgaar, she goes all out for bedtime stories, character voices and all. It sets a quality standard for the CEO, who expects the same out of any babysitters, be they once-in-a-century financial geniuses or *cough* the pride of Denmark.

39. If they could go back in time, how would they reassure their child-self about the future? Sunday's childhood cycled between 'incredible opportunities' and 'devastating horror', so this answer's simple. She'd tell her child-self that she's not crazy, she really is cursed, but that doesn't make her a bad person. She'd reassure herself that it gets better, that she gets away from her family and does wonderful things that they can't take from her.

Yes, it is okay that she likes girls and boys. She'll meet incredible people in every walk of life if she lets herself. And if the church is wrong about her being bad, then they can be wrong about anything.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

3. What is something they really like about themselves and what is something you really like about them? Envy prides herself on being levelheaded. She has no problems de-escalating angry patrons and doesn't find it hard to take control of a room. She likes that she can keep her cool even when things take a turn for the worst.

Something I've liked writing for Envy is her warm and nurturing nature. She may be blunt, and she might feel at home in anarchy, but she's a caretaker at heart. Her garden flourishes under her love (and occasional Dead Kennedys singalongs). She treats her employees with a decency and kindness that's unheard of in the hospitality industry. Even the drunks that pass out in (or near) her bar get water and a safe ride home. She's safety for young queers and a haven for kinksters.

26. What would be their ideal romance? Did they find a perfect match already, is it still a work in progress, or have they experienced something out of their expectations? It's not that Envy's unlucky in love; to the contrary, she's had some long, loving relationships. It's that it's hard to pin her down. She's oblivious to flirting unless a lady's laying it on thick. When she gets into a relationship, she finds it hard to make compromises on how much she works, leaving her girlfriends lonely. She works her ass off to run her businesses and keep Club Hedonism's events running.

Her ideal partner would be someone who's just as busy as she is, or someone who wouldn't mind spending time working together. She calls her romantic life a 'work in progress' and frequently claims she'll settle down once whatever project she's doing is finished, but... it hasn't happened yet.

[taegularities]

okay so I'm not experienced (like at all) and I don't have an older sister or a close friend, so I'll take this opportunity to ask a couple of questions if you guys don't mind (thanks in advance) ps guys don't worry I'm not a child, I'm in my early twenties

1. Does getting hickeys hurt? (I suppose it's still some sort of bruising so it must hurt)

2. Does doing it *whispers* sex hurt? I've heard some horror stories so my mind is tainted with fear

3. This one is more of a confession: as I said, I'm in my early twenties but I've never been in a relationship before. This is because (among many other things) I've never been attracted to anyone, haven't had even the tiniest bit of a crush on a real person [I'm very sensitive to touch (I don't know why), I can't even hug my parents or relatives because I feel claustrophobic when people touch me. To be honest, even thinking about being intimate with someone else used to disgust me. And I've been like this even before falling for bangtan, ever since I can remember myself. The only people I can imagine kissing and not feeling uncomfortable are our boys (I'm not delulu, I'm not even thinking of this as something that might actually happen, I'm just sharing my feelings with the only people I'm comfortable with) ... so yeah, just wanted to see if there's someone out there feeling the same way

Thank you for reading and feel free to ignore this, I won't mind 🌻

AHHH ofc, no worries !! we're here for you. thank you for feeling comfy enough to ask <3

you're right, it's some sort of bruising, so i personally find it uncomfortable at times. i know a lot of people enjoy them and love how they turn out, but to me, they're... okay? like, it's not unbearable pain or anything but i find them unpleasant :')

sex doesn't hurt with sufficient foreplay and preparation. and i don't just mean a bit of fingering and clit stimulation, i mean actual foreplay like oral/sex toys/minutes and minutes of pleasure before having penetrative sex (unless you're already wet n soaking n ready!!). it might also hurt if you're not mentally ready for it yet – like tmi, but i remember that it just didn't work for me when i first tried bc i was too nervous lol. but as long as the partner's considerate and you trust them, it should not hurt !!

this is so valid, babe !!! you're absolutely not the only one who feels that way. a lot of people are sensitive to touch or just don't have a very present sex drive. that's okay !! you'll love and enjoy your time with your future partner the way you're comfortable with. sex isn't everything when it comes to being with someone. we definitely have a type of mental relationship with the boys, so we feel that we'd trust them enough with that. but if it's different for you irl, then that's valid, and you don't have to worry about it at all – as time passes, you'll learn what you like and dislike <3

talk to me about this anytime, no worries !! 💕

[f1]

Inside Oscar Piastri and McLaren's Spanish F1 Grand Prix horror showas Aussie fails to score points

Inside Oscar Piastri and McLaren's Spanish Grand Prix horror show: How optimism turned to disaster as season from hell continues for Aussie and teammate Lando Norris Piastri finished 13th in Barcelona, Norris 17th  Norris had qualified third in encouraging sign  Optimism evaporated soon after race start  By Ian Chadband For Australian Associated Press Published: 22:48 EDT, 4 June 2023 | Updated: 22:48 EDT, 4 June 2023 McLaren's downward spiral has continued at the Spanish Grand Prix with a race-ruining early accident for Lando Norris and another afternoon scrabbling in the bottom half of the field for Oscar Piastri. Australian rookie Piastri called it a 'more difficult afternoon than we thought' as all the encouraging signs from qualifying 24 hours earlier evaporated swiftly for the UK-based team at Barcelona's Circuit de Catalunya on Sunday. Norris had been left stunned by finishing third in qualifying and Piastri felt he would have been higher than 10th but for one mistake on his key Q3 run. But all the promise of what Norris hailed a 'special' Saturday disappeared as neither driver could find the same race pace and the Englishman's afternoon was quickly ruined by an accidental first-lap clash with Lewis Hamilton's Mercedes. Piastri (pictured just before the race start in Barcelona) and Norris had reason to be optimistic until the lights went green - then things went downhill fast The Aussie is 13th in the drivers' standings with just five points from seven starts this year - and there's little prospect of him changing that for the better soon Norris went into the back of Hamilton within two turns and had to pit for a new front wing. He re-entered at the rear of the field, from where he managed to creep up and finish 17th. Hamilton, meanwhile, finished runner-up to Red Bull's runaway championship leader Max Verstappen. 'I messed things up on lap one,' Norris said, making it clear it hadn't been Hamilton's fault before painting a gloomy picture of McLaren's prospects. 'The pace was as expected ... which was bad. I don't think we expected anything else. We were slow and we have been all year.' Piastri, who has impressed as a model of positivity through McLaren's woes at the start of his debut season, tried to sound more upbeat, but it wasn't easy. After shocking the field by putting his McLaren into third on the grid during qualifying, nothing went right for Piastri's teammate Lando Norris (pictured) McLaren's car (pictured being driven by Piastri in Spain) hasn't seen the benefits of effective upgrades over the last few races - unlike many of its competitors 'It was a difficult afternoon, unfortunately, more difficult than we thought,' the 22-year-old said. 'We knew getting into the points was going to be a bit tricky so we'll regroup, try and find out why today was such a struggle and make sure we're quicker next time. 'We've got some things in the works, not necessarily for Canada [the next race in Montreal] but for the few races after that, so still positive. 'But it was a tough day [among] many. I believe they say, "We may have lost the battle, but we'll try to win the war". We'll try our best.' Piastri's results in the six races since his unlucky debut retirement have been 15th, eighth, 11th, 19th, 10th and 13th, leaving him 13th out of 20 overall in the drivers' championship, having garnered just five points. The much more experienced Norris is not faring a good deal better, sitting 11th on 12 points. 'A lot of teams have brought upgrades to the last few races and we haven't,' Norris said. 'We are not expecting anything more than we are doing and if we get in the points it is an amazing day - but the expectation is that we won't.' Share or comment on this article: Inside Oscar Piastri and McLaren's Spanish F1 Grand Prix horror show as Aussie fails to score points via Formula One | Mail Online https://www.dailymail.co.uk?ns_mchannel=rss&ns_campaign=1490&ito=1490

[erigold13261]

Nitpicky anon here again. If, if, the percentage of queer people was actually higher in your NSR universe, why is there so much homophobia and transphobia? (Do ignore this ask if this is annoying) (I hope I don’t sound too mean)

I think I just answered this. You just put it in different words, but I can give another answer since now you are using the word "percentage" which has sparked an idea in me. HERE'S the other answer though so you can also read.

Quick recap though: There's "so much" bigotry because we are seeing it through the lens of queer people. Almost all queer people have seen or been the target of bigotry (from microaggressions to hate crimes). So it just feels like there is a TON of it because it is important aspect of these character's stories. Also the fact that there will always be some kind of hate in the world, both cishets and queer people can be bigots, so homophobia and transphobia will still happen.

Okay, but to go back to the "percentage" thing from your ask. I think you might be under a misconception about just how much queer people are in my NSR universe.

There's no way to know for sure how many people identify as queer in our world. We can't ask everyone and some people who "act queer" might not identify as any kind of queerness even though they could fit under a label (such as straight people who are sometimes attracted to the same gender, or people who are GNC but don't identify as any kind of queer).

There are estimates that about 3-10% of the whole world identifies as queer. Meaning that it could be more with people not asked/do not identify even though they fit the "criteria" for queerness.

What I think you might believe the percentage of queer people in my NSR universe might be anywhere from 75-90%. Maybe more maybe less. And yes, if that was the case, that would be a LOT of queer people and I can see why you might think bigotry should be either extinct or at least a lot less common.

However, I never had the idea that queer people would be the majority of the world population, though still more than our world. So NSR would probably have a population of 25-35% queer people, or somewhere around that percent range. They are still a minority, but still more than what we have.

This is why there is still bigotry and homophobia in the NSR universe. Just like our world, some places are better and safer than others, while others are places to stay absolutely clear from if you even "look" a little bit queer.

Plus, like I said earlier and in the other post, we are seeing these acts of bigotry from the view point of queer people. A cishet person is not going to experience queer bigotry against them most of the time (unless they "look or act" queer) so if we followed Martha or Matvey's life, we would almost never see then experience any kind of bigotry related to queerness. For the most part.

We do see Martha experience transphobia and some homophobia from her family after people learn that Neon is trans. Though it is not directed mainly at Martha. This means that throughout Martha's life, she has experienced FAR less queer bigotry compared to Neon, who is a queer person.

Having a story with a lot of queer people means there are going to be a lot more stories of bigotry to go through than if it was a group of cishet people. It's basically like... selection bias? I think that's the one. Or it might be availability bias?

Either way, the reason why we think there is a LOT of bigotry is because the sample group we have is made predominantly of queer people. So of course it LOOKS like there is a lot of bigotry still happening in the world, as it does happen to queer people.

I haven't watched anymore than one episode of RuPaul's Drag Race, but my queer studies professor has and explained how some seasons get very heavy in the topic of bigotry these drag queens have experienced. Almost all of them have had some kind of horror story to share with each other.

Which makes it look like there is a LOT of bigotry in the world. But that is because we are seeing it from the perspective of queer or GNC people. And yes, any kind of bigotry is a lot, but that doesn't mean that every queer person is absolutely going to experience bigotry because of their queerness. At least not to the same extent of hate crimes and legislation pushed against them.

It's also worth pointing out that, just like the drag queens, the NSR characters come from all around the world. There are going to be some places that are more accepting than others depending on all sorts of factors.

Nova came from a pretty small town but almost everyone was accepting of them because they cared more for them than hated the idea of something new. While Neon lived close to a city that sometimes made it dangerous to be out an proud. Mama was in an upscale community most of the time and a rural area the rest. Both were accepting of her when it came to queerness (though her plant/snake half were not as accepted). And then Tatiana was in a decently sized town/city that basically hated her but her boarding school couldn't give a shit as long as she kept it kinda like "don't ask don't tell" kind of deal.

All of this to say, bigotry is still going to a thing, and it's going to seem like a lot when looked at through the eyes of queer people. Not every queer person is going to have to live their life in constant fear of being hate crimed, but also not every queer person can just come out and be happy with who they are without some kind of backlash.

People can be horrible, especially to people they see as threats, different, or the unknown. So even if there was like 75-90% queer people, that isn't going to stop bigotry. Especially since queer people can also be homophobic or transphobic (and other phobics). There's always going to be a "reason" to hate people that are different than you, all we can do is try to work together to survive and fight back.

[sarilolla]

tell us about this new au that you have in mind please 🥺

Yesss, thank you for giving me the chance to talk >:)

So, this au is not fully fleshed out obviously, as it mostly came from me listening to the song "Open The Door (That's Not My Neighbor Song)" by LongestSoloEver and DayumDahlia for about an hour while scrolling through the trolls tag on tumblr, but here's the gist of it (Also, this isn't 100% like "That's Not My Neighbor", but is just inspired by it. There will be some horror/gore elements too)

It's been a while after Floyd's rescue, a month or so, giving the siblings time to get to know each other, while still being unsure of each other. Branch might have known his brothers, but a lot change in 20 years, especially when you're in no contact. Poppy never even knew she had a sister, and while she's hyped to finally have a sibling to share everything with, Viva and Peppy are spending a lot of time together, bonding and talking, meaning Poppy feels left out and alone for the first time ever. It's always been her and her dad, so it stings how he cancels plans to be with Viva. ("We haven't seen each other in twenty years! You understand, right, Poppy?" "Would love to hang out Poppy, but we already planned something, maybe next time?" "Sorry Poppy, we didn't know you were waiting for us." etc etc). Poppy isolates herself a bit from her family in return, and the Snack Pack, in the belief she is joining them on these bonding activities, leaves her alone a lot more so she will have the chance to be with her dad and sister.

So, the point is, both Branch and Poppy feel pretty alone when it comes to their families. Branch's family still have to sort through the abandonment, the near deaths, Branch's grey period (that gets brought up once and Branch shuts it down immediately), and Poppy is experiencing strong family jealousy, all the while their closest friends are not hanging around them to give them a chance to be with their family. So obviously, they stick together.

On one of their dates, as they stick together after a fight with their respective siblings, the two fall down into a large hole, hitting a giant flower, which immediately latches onto them. They are knocked out, as the flower roots through their memories to make copies of them. Doppelgangers. The flower is carnivorous and wants to spread itself, so it makes doppelgangers of the local fauna while extremely slowly eating its victims.

Hours later, when most Trolls are starting to get worried and look for the two, the doppelgangers emerge. The flower is mildly sentient, understanding that these two are important to the Trolls, and so they are near perfect copies. Later doppelgangers will have more and more mistakes until it builds enough material again.

But, they have flaws. Their colder, more snappy, as the latest memories in Poppy and Branch's minds (that wasn't that they love each other) was the fight they had with their siblings earlier that day. It didn't even have to be a big or significant fight, but the doppelgangers latched onto that anger and amplified it.

So now the couples' family and friends have to figure out that that's not their family/friends, before Poppy and Branch die and more Trolls will be taken. Doppelganger Poppy and Branch push for the flower's seeds to be planted around Troll Village and Trollstopia, making it more powerful, while being sweet with each other and snappy with everyone else.

Another thing is that this flower is old, like really old. Before music old. Not sure if its the same, or just the same species, but... Before music, doppelgangers were one of the most dangerous threats to a Troll. Part of the defense and safety Music provided, was a defense against the Doppelgangers as they can't play music. At all. A reason why the Strings of Music was so powerful it could even turn you into a different genre, was because it could instantly kill a doppelganger, and eventually it was reduced to one creation flower deep underground, forgotten by time.

The "no music" bit might clue the others in quickly enough, if the siblings weren't so intent on apologizing to the younger ones, and ignoring all signs that that's not Poppy or Branch.

Not sure who else will be turned into a doppelganger... Trollstopia characters, probably, even if I have watched very little of that show. Some of the Snack Pack as they start realizing? Another leader as they come to visit? Who knows?

But it will be angsty >:) Because I love angst >:) It can have a good ending (doppelgangers fucking blasted by the power of music and Poppy and Branch are saved) or bad ending (everyone dies rip) >:)

Thanks for the ask ^^

[rene-hl-trashcan]

Question 7 - Favourite & Least Favourite Food

Sylvia

LIKES : 1. Super dark chocolate with zero to little sugar content 2. Everything spicy. The very specific liking of dark chocolate came from when she swapped her sweet chocolate with Sylvan's during their childhood because she didn't like seeing him pout (their parents tried to reduce his sugar intake because Sylvan + sugar equals CHAOS, but we know that failed since Sylvia is a softie and swapped the chocolates anyway). As for the liking of spicy food, it developed during her childhood travels. The family travelled a lot during her childhood and they spent her early years travelling around Asia so her culinary preferences developed from all the food she grew up eating. She's particularly fond of curry and chicken kofta. DISLIKES : Nothing specific but her mood will sour if she is served bland food. It annoys her to hell so she usually would have condiments and spices ready to add to the bland dishes.

Sylvan

LIKES : Anything sweet and everything spicy. Same reason as Sylvia, though he likes sweet food for the effects they had on him more than the actual flavour. If energy drinks existed in the 1900s, you'd see him chugging energy drinks like there's no tomorrow, much to everyone's horror. He too, like Sylvia, has developed high spice tolerant from their years travelling around Asia and the liking also is due to the burning sensation he gets from eating the spicy food rather than the actual flavour (spicy isn't a flavour anyway, it's your tongue being in pain and reacting to the chemical irritants 🤣🤣). He has a horrid hobby of snacking on the wide selection of peppers simply for the horror on other people's faces when they see him casually eating the peppers. If he is not trying to mentally traumatise other people, Sylvan's favourite food is spicy beef noodles. DISLIKES : Fish. He hates the texture. It triggered his gag reflex like nothing else could. There's also a terrible core memory he experienced that made the hatred stronger. To no one else's fault but his own, he had a parasite infestation from eating raw fish when he was 6. It was a random salmon he caught when they were in Canada, of which he just chomped on the poor fish (raw and still alive fresh outta the river) cuz his child brain thought it was the same as eating a carefully prepared sushi. It's not the same, and he learned that the hard way. (There were tapeworms involved)

Mildred

LIKES : Fruits and everything made of fruits. Jams, infusion tea, pie, cake—if it's made of fruits and still carry the same taste, she will devour it. She loves to add fruit jam to her milk tea. Mildred used to be a picky eater and would not eat her veggies, so fruits are the way her parents tried to sneak some veggies into her by blending everything into a smoothie. She also likes it because it brings back the good memories of sitting on her dad's shoulder as they walked around their tiny patch of land picking apples directly from the tree and sharing the fruit together. DISLIKES : Eggs and milk. She doesn't like the smell, especially the eggs. She can eat them fine if the scent are masked by something else but on its own, she couldn't stomach eggs and milk at all. When she was a toddler, her mom had to mix their homemade jam into her sippy-cup to get her to drink her milk.

Riz

LIKES : Black coffee and anything with cacao in it. Plus, any meals that are made of genuine effort and love. 🤣 Riz has little food preference because growing up, everything that he showed any form of liking was ruined by his elder sisters. So, he countered that by being fairly neutral with everything that is served on his plate. Black coffee and cacao are the only food that he likes but his sisters haven't managed to ruin. After he got rid of his family, he learned to appreciate any meals that have genuine effort put into them (partially because of his niece's adorable yet horrendous effort to cook for him). He will be most likely to enjoy eating charred food or suspiciously radioactive-looking dishes as long as it's made of genuine effort because it feeds his emotional needs. The taste doesn't matter since he honestly has no preference flavour-wise. DISLIKES: Nothing. He might find some food unpleasant but it's not something he wouldn't chow down on. Food is fuel and he knows he needs fuel to live.

Questions 11, & 17

3, 7, 11, 17 👀

No specific lad requested go ham

@a-usernamelol

I feel like this gonna be a multi-posts answer lol 🤣🤣

Question 3 - Birthday and Zodiac Sign

I'm interested in tarot so lemme up the ante by giving their full birth chart for no reason other than I want to procastinate from my pile of work :

Sylvia - 29th June (Sun ♋, Moon ♑ & Ascendant ♎)

Sylvan - 13th Feb (Sun ♒, Moon ♉ & Ascendant ♋)

Mildred - 7th Aug (Sun ♌, Moon ♎ & Ascendant ♏)

Riz - 31st Oct (Sun & Moon ♏♏ & Ascendant ♍)

I'm a huge fan of worldbuilding (as proven by the forbidden file of worldbuilding I created for an original story which includes a custom-made calendar, lore of creation, and all the necessary systems) so yes, I put in my MCs' birthdays into astrology sites and try to match their personalities to the signs in my brainrot eventhough I am terribly busy to actually sit down and write their story.

Procrastination is a sin but hell doesn't exist if I don't think of it ✨✨

Questions 7, 11, 17

[mc-park]

xiao fanfic idea (based on the 2.7 chasm quest)

REQUESTING FOR ANY BORED GENSHIN WRITERS TO WRITE THIS!!!

hello i dont have any energy to rewrite all my fanfiction ideas for this quest bc i made this long ass post abt it in detail but it didnt save and now i feel so hollow and numb. im going through every stage of grief right now, currently at stage 4, depressed.

all i ask is for xiao chasm content. please. i beg. SOMEONE, LITERALLY ANYONE PLEASE MAKE XIAO FOUND FAMILY CONTENT

and then put him through an indescribable amount of pain and turmoil as he fails to accept his yaksha friends are dead and faces the slow realization he has no family, other than zhongli, left.

please help me relieve some of this pain by reblogging or tagging your favorite writers in the comments and writing down your xiao x reader chasm ideas (also in the comments) for their inspiration ...ill join too once im done crying over all of my work disappearing

for now i'll just share a few of my daydreams at its most basic level and hope to god somewhere in the world a genshin writer will take this idea and bring it to life

(2.7 spoilers utc)

yaksha found family + reader witnessing all of it, being an outsider as another weaker yaksha.

where you, unaware of the suffering and pain that comes with the responsibility of being one of the five yakshas, hope to get an ounce of understanding for them like they do with one another, hoping to be part of what seems like a "family."

yearning to gain even a bit of that familial warmth, you glance over to observe them on the sidelines and smile at the sounds of their contagious laughter directed at xiao's now fully-painted face.

as years pass by, you watch in horror as each yaksha slowly succumbs to the darkness of their karma one by one, never returning to that bright family dynamic they forgot about.

finally, when xiao, the youngest of all of them, the only one remaining, tries to recover from the loss of valiant warriors he considered his siblings, you console him, experiencing a pain similar to his. both of you support one another awaiting the day you can reunite with the rest of the yakshas again.

this can really extend as much as it wants to starting off w wholesome shenanigans and then angst to possible hurt comfort or just you and xiao wailing in pain together. i love a good slow burn so thats my personal request, like each paragraph written above can be extended to a whole post and split up into a whole series, but really its up to whoever wants to take up my challenge to make it however they want.

xiao and reader dynamic:

in this case i feel like xiao bonds with reader where they feel this mutual emptiness but in different kinds of ways.

you feel alone in the world, you feel excluded from the rest of the yakshas, you long for something you don't have and haven't had in a long time, for that bond that effortlessly ties the five yakshas together. despite being surrounded by so many people you constantly feel like not one of them understands.

you want to be with anyone as long as it's someone. but you have no one. there are so many thoughts, feelings and emotions but there's no one to share them with no one who cares enough to listen. you wish for what the yaksha's have, the family they built on their mutual suffering and joys, where they all understand each others pain because they all share the same experiences.

you feel like no matter how kind or nice or strong and heroic you are or can train to be nobody thinks to call or ask anything of you, its this numbing feeling that prods in your chest at the loneliest and quietest of days, it's not like they're outwardly avoiding you, quite the opposite. they tell you to join, but however close you are to them you still feel distant, and when you part for your more meagre duties compared to their wider scale dangerous tasks, the rift between you and the family increases.

you don't feel upset, nor do you feel hurt, if anything you feel acceptance. it's normal. at times you feel gratitude; a warm feeling bubbling inside whenever they come to talk to you. happiness; whenever you see their doting towards one another, their dumb pranks and stupid jokes.

as an outsider, a weaker yaksha, you watch the adepti you've looked up to for so long from a distance and internally relish in the joy of their shared happiness.

whereas xiao is longing for something he's had before but can't do anything to get back, its this feeling of hopelessness and this agonizing need to go back to how things were, how he was before. he's distraught with the frustration and regret of not being able to get back what was lost and never being able to experience anything similar to it again. its sporadic. sudden. when the yaksha's slowly disappear, after years of investing in them from afar you end up feeling this way too, this same hole in your chest, this unshakable itch at the back of your mind that won't go away. the bond that you hoped to join, the joy you've observed for so long and the happiness you secretly chewed off of no longer exists.

now that you and xiao are the last yaksha left, perhaps you can form a new bond over your losses together.

THIS IS JUST FOR INSPO ON HOW TO WRITE THEM BTW!! do it literally however u want i just thought this would be really cool and emotional to write cuz like theres readers loneliness built up over the years and then theres xiaos mourning and that sudden period of grief and then the awkward sort of mutual sadness they feel in the end

family dynamic inspo:

xiao being the temperamental, more self centered youngest and bosacius acting as the more protective self-sacrificing eldest brother. followed by indarius (pyro yaksha) the second oldest almost mom-like, bubbly and loud friend, the walmart zhongli as the mediator, calm middle child and bonanus (hydro yaksha) as the second youngest, possessing a more timid, polite and shy aura.

a sample of how he may feel:

and when xiao is left alone, he tries to remember all his happiest memories with each of his friends. he longs for them, he longs for the past so much that it hurts. he wants to be his old self, to get rid of this aching loneliness but as each happy memory flashes by, he spirals into a deeper pit of sadness and activates this haunting feeling in his heart that feels like something is missing. recounting the memories of his loved ones, he swears that this will never happen to anyone close to him again. even at the cost of his own life. in the midst of his vulnerability, he unknowingly engrains that very same savior complex his leader, no, his brother bosacius once had.

---

im sorry if there are grammar mistakes and stuff i rushed this really short idea bc i was busy trying to remember what i wrote before tumblr decided to reload and DELETE all of my work just bc it was in a silly goofy mood

ANYWAY SOMEONE PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD MAKE A FIC ABT THIS PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE I WANT SOME OF THAT JUICY JUICY JUICY DELICIOUS LORE

STARVED XIAO LOVERS UNITE! PLEASE TAG ALL OF THE GENSHIN WRITERS YOU LOVE AND BOUNCE OFF OTHER IDEAS, NOT JUST THIS ONE, IN THE COMMENTS!!

or reblog if you want to see someone make this themselves.

[bondsmagii]

I saw a meme on tumblr and it instantly made me think of you.

it was the "'oh how cute its a sheep' and I looked on in horror as its neck stretched farther and farther until I realized the abomination before me was actually an alpaca... the stretch between eldritch horror and nature is a very thin line"

but like. that's the thing about nature. maybe some of the things that we don't necessarily comprehend are still very real and very valid. personal experiences of the supernatural are incredibly valid, and its because the spectrum of nature is a pot of water, stretching from our views of "normal" (cold) and "holy fuck what is that shit?" (hot) and humans who have never had to worry about these experiences at some point or another hear the stories of those that have, and decide "this is too out of normalcy for my taste, I'm accusing it of fake"

and then there's those people that are aware of the reality behind the supernatural. they have seen it and understand, "wow. the world is so crazy, and that's what makes it so great" and are able to submerge themselves in the heat and embrace it, without hurting when the water gets hot.

and there's those, that haven't experienced it, but know in their heart. I kind of identify with the third group of people. I never experienced the strange. but when I walk down my highway at night, and I see the deer in the woods. A part of me wonders, "Is that actually a deer?"

god, yeah. a huge part of how I interact with the world is the knowledge that it's fucking wild and there's so much out there that we don't understand. I really don't get how so many people can be so closed-minded about so many things -- everything from the paranormal, to how other people experience reality, etc. it doesn't even have to be a big thing, either. I've noticed that a lot of people seem to take for granted the fact that everyone sees the world in the same way they do, and that if they don't personally experience something, nobody can -- and anyone saying they do is lying for whatever reason. for example, I have a few posts going around about dreams I've had, and in one of them, the dream involved reading. so many people were rude to me in the notes because "you can't read in dreams!! this is fake!!" like... I've been able to read fluently in my dreams for my whole life. I can read books in dreams. the words all stay the same. I can quite literally read in my dreams, and while this isn't common, it is not impossible either. plenty of people can. it probably has something to do with the fact that I read 4 hours a day, so for my brain it is not difficult to imagine. but because a lot of people can't do it, they assume nobody can. it's the same with pretty much everything.

it seems silly to say that "everyone experiences life differently" is a controversial take, but it's become abundantly clear to me over the years that it is. it seems that nobody can wrap their head around this fact, and increasingly often, I see emphasis put on things like the "universal" human condition or experience, and just... there's no such thing. I've had a lot of time to come to terms with this because for my whole life I've been experiencing the apparently impossible, and even the way I exist is apparently impossible to some (the way I perceive reality, certain things about my identity, etc). I've also always been in the extreme minority with a lot of things, and lacked the need for things that people claim is essential to humanity, and just... man. it's exhausting how concerned people are about potentially faking things. it's really self-absorbed. like, why would I fake huge aspects of my own life that I don't even share because it's private, just to lie to you? it makes no fucking sense.

[haddonfieldproject]

<<PREVIOUS⏺<<CONTENTS>>

1.3.6. SATURDAY NOVEMBER 1st

Warren County, Illinois

There was a knock at her bedroom door.

Leighton lifted her head and puffed the blond hair out of her eyes with her mouth, taking a glance at her Hello Kitty alarm clock. ‪8:57‬.

Fuck Diego, I told you to text me. She thought as she cleared her throat.

“Come in.”

Mya walked in the room.

And as if it wasn't weird enough for Mya to be walking in the room---seriously, she wasn't even on Leighton's radar of people who would be walking into her bedroom at that moment---it was even more weird that Mya appeared to be dressed like some sort of leopard. Even the remains of some face paint was smeared all over her round brown cheeks and streaking down her neck.

“Mya?” Leighton croaked as she turned over in her bed, “What are you doing here? Who even let you in?”

Mya plopped down on the end of Leighton's bed. “Your mom did. What are you still doing in bed?”

“My mom is awake?” Leighton lay on her back and looked at the ceiling.

“Yeah, she's up and watching the news like everyone else. Seriously she starts drinking really early. Not even ten and she's got her a bottle of wine.”

Leighton sat back up on her elbows and frowned, “What the hell are you talking about?”

“Why aren't you watching the news?” Mya asked, “I heard about it on the radio. I was on my way home but I didn't want to go home just yet. I don't want to hear any shit from my mom and with what went on last night, I'm sure I'll hear my fair share.”

Leighton shook her head with exasperation, “What?”

“Girl..haven't you seen all the trucks parked outside? Turn on the news! Where's your remote for this TV”.

Leighton pointed to her vanity and swung her legs off the bed, sitting up. “It's over there, knock yourself out I guess.”

Mya padded across the room and scooped up the remote. Leighton yawned and trudged out of the room toward the bathroom. A few minutes later she found Mya at the end of her bed glued to the television.

Leighton sat at her vanity and began to brush her perfect hair on her perfect head. What she saw on the television in the mirror's reflection made her stop. She turned around.

Mya had switched to the local news. An aerial shot showed Haddonfield's hospital in flames. A banner at the bottom of the screen read: HALLOWEEN HORROR IN SMALL TOWN. The news anchor's voice was droning: “So far twenty people are confirmed dead by Warren County Sheriff's office but when pressed if this twenty persons all came from the hospital or from other unconfirmed incidents we were told by our contact within the police department that they, and I quote, 'could not comment at this time'. Someone who may have answers we need however is Channel 7 reporter Holly West who has been covering ‪this night‬ of terror for this small Illinois town all night, she is down there live outside the hospital, Holly are you there?”

Leighton's mouth gaped open in a state of shock and amazement. She slowly put the brush down on the vanity and sat down on the bed next to Mya slowly.

🎃

Valentina Sequera sat on the shabby futon inside the trailer, cellphone in her hands, eyes glued on the old fashioned square television. She pushed her curly black hair, going gray in some places, out of her face, and watched as the news switched from the aerial shot of the burning hospital, to the pretty, albeit tired looking blonde news anchor on the ground.

Channel 7 Reporter Holly West stood in the parking lot of the hospital, the smoking building in the background. Beside her was an Hispanic woman that looked very familiar to Valentina.

I think we go to the same church, she thought.

“Holly West here, live from outside the scene at Haddonfield County-General Medical Center. I'm here with Rosalita, she was inside the hospital having just given birth to her new baby boy...first of all, are you and your baby okay?”

“Yes, yes,” Rosalita answered in an accent not as thick as Valentina's. “Thankfully to our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, the Virgin Mary, and all the Saints me and my new baby boy Rogelio are doing just fine.”

“Glad to hear that,” Holly replied smiling, “Now you were inside the hospital. Can you tell us what you experienced?”

“Yes ma'am,” the woman replied respectably, “my son was born ‪around 11:30‬ and we were resting in our room around 2, close to ‪2:30‬ when I hear a gunshot.”

“A gunshot!?” Holly looked surprisingly at the camera and then back at Rosalita, “We haven't heard reports yet of a gunshot, are you sure it was a gunshot?”

“Si..uh..yes ma'am,” the woman smiled knowingly, “mi husband...my ex-husband that is...he used to shoot guns...so I know the gun sound...and I would have to say it was definitely shotgun.”

Holly West's eyebrows did not fall, “Well you heard it here first ladies and gentlemen, shots fired at the hospital. Then what happened?”

Valentina couldn't pay attention. She picked up her phone, scrolled down into the contacts to the very common pet name hispanic mothers give their sons: MI GORDO and then hit CALL.

Straight to voicemail.

“Hola, dis' Diego, leave a message por favor... dejame un mensaje...”

She cut him off and dropped the phone in her lap. Her legs shook nervously.

Diego and his stupid Spanglish, she thought to herself in Spanish. She glanced at the clock on the wall. The bright green iguana mounted to the disc decorated in cacti and hues of southwest teals, purples, and pinks had his tail on the one and his head close to the nine indicating it was ‪9:05‬.

No need to worry really, she thought, it hasn't been that long. He may still be at the shop. He may have went to a friend's house. Her mind thought of the names of any of Diego's friends. Quinn...was that one? She asked herself. She glanced back at the TV, Rosalita was talking.

“Then Sherriff Brackett came in and took me and my baby to hide in a closet...”

Holly West cut her off, “A closet?”

“Yes,” Rosalita smiled nervously, she was searching for the right words in English, “like for medical supply and stuff.”

Holly West smiled and nodded, “Oh ok, a big supply closet.”

“Si..uh..yes. And then he go look to for help.”

“And then he went to go look for help?”

“Si...yes.”

“And did you see Sheriff Brackett again?” Holly asked.

“No.”

“What time was this?”

“Not long after we got in room, maybe 2...2:30.”

Valentina could only think of one more thing to do. She picked up the large white old fashioned cordless landline phone that lay on the couch beside her. Quickly, she scrolled through the history on the small digital display screen, found the number she wanted, and hit the CALL BACK button.

🔪

Leighton and Mya had moved to the living room. Leighton sat on the small sofa, wrapped in a quilt. The temperature outside had dropped considerably over the night. For the first time in several months the air conditioning was off and the house had a drafty damp feel. The world was gray and misty outside of the large regal windows of the mayoral mansion's living room.

Mya sat on the floor in front of the sofa next to the large glass coffee table. She had swiped Leighton's disposable make-up removal wipes from the bathroom, and now had a nice pile of gold and black stained wipes on the surface of the glass, right next to a large cup of orange juice.

Leigh Ann Roderick-Dodge, Leighton's mother and the wife of Haddonfield's unhonorable mayor, lay on the opposite, but matching sofa. Her head at one end, her feet on the other. She was beautiful, a former model in her twenties, she still looked gorgeous even with no make-up and her blonde hair tossed up in a messy bun at the top of her head. She was still dressed in a robe, and indeed, she held a large goblet of chardonnay in one hand and the television remote in the other. At the moment, all were fixated on Holly West's interview with Rosalita from the hospital.

“Did you notice when the power went out?” Holly asked.

“Si..there was big lightning strike and then...boom. No lights.” Rosalita made hand motions to illustrate the lightning.

“So you think the lightning knocked out the power?”

Rosalita nodded exhuberantly, “Definitely.”

“About what time was this?”

“We were there..about two hours...4 maybe..4:30.”

Leighton's phone went off. She looked at the screen: DIEGO HOME. She smirked to herself and hit the green button.

“What's up fucker? Thought you'd be sleeping.” She answered.

Mya laughed. Her mother glared at her. “Leighton Michelle!” She hissed, and took a sip of wine.

There was a pause on the other end and then she heard a woman's voice, in a thick hispanic accent say, “Um...yes..this Leighton? This is Diego's mom...Valentina.”

Leighton sat up on the couch and put her hand to her mouth to suppress a gasp. “Oh Miss Sequira, I'm so sorry, I thought you were Diego.”

“Is okay,” Valentina said, “So he not with you. You know where he is?”
Leighton frowned. Why would Diego not be home. “No ma'am, I haven't seen him since he went into work yesterday.”

“He no tell you where he is?” Valentina struggled to say.

“No ma'am,” Leighton said, pushing her hair out of her face.

“Si..ok...thank you.”

Leighton clicked the red button and looked at the television. The banner at the bottom of the screen that moments ago had read: TERROR IN HADDONFIELD...now read: EYEWITNESS: SHOTS FIRED AT HOSPITAL.

Diego should have been home and in bed by now, she thought. And he said he was going to text me. She looked at her messages. No texts.

He probably went drinking with that guy Quinn from work.

She looked back at the TV. She read a part of the ticker at the very bottom of the screen: ...ITNESS REPORTS POWER WENT OUT AT HOSPITAL AFTER LIGHTNING STRI...

The storm, her mind exploded. He probably didn't go home after work because of the storm. He probably spent the night in the break-room. He had done it before, a few times, mostly when business got slow and he and Quinn had gotten drunk. She thought about calling Diego's mother back to set her mind at ease. She would have definitely called his work first, she thought. At least I hope.

Leighton picked up her phone and scrolled down into her contacts where it said DIEGO SUPERFUEL and hit the green button again.

She got a three chord tone. “I'm sorry but the number you are trying to reach is not in service.”

“Ok that's weird,” she said to herself as she ended the call.

“What?” Mya asked, eyes still on the screen which was now dominated once more by overhead shots of the burning hospital.

“Nothing,” she said to herself. But now she was beginning to worry.

🎃

Valentina had indeed tried the work phone number first and had gotten the same operator message. She got up from the couch and went into the kitchen and poured herself a glass of lemonade from the fridge. The news reporter droned on from the television after her.

“If you are just joining us, we now have a witness account from inside the hospital stating that they heard shots fired before the power went out and before the explosion. I believe we now have to consider the possibility that some act of terrorism may have occurred in Haddonfield last night. We are going to replay that interview with a young mother who was in the hospital celebrating the birth of her new baby boy---”

Valentina sat down, took a sip of the lemonade and picked up the cordless phone once again. She dialed her son's cellphone number.

“Hola, dis' Diego, leave...”

She threw the phone down on the cushion next to her in disgust

NEXT>>

[dukeofriven]

I feel you on criticisms on John. Dude certainly has his flaws and his relationship with other people, particularly Roxy, have clearly been unhealthy. But the guy have apparently been depressed for years, and he haven't actually ever had much experience with real life on person relationships. He got issues he needs to work on, but he is not a bad person.

It’s the rampant hypocrisy that’s eating at me. “Let they who are without sin cast the first stone” y’know? Roxy and John are the only survivors of Game Over - even given the trauma that everyone went through those two went through more. Even Rose, with her vague sense of her alt-self in a doomed timeline, experienced what it was like to fail on such a profound scale: and to know that your failure is the one which the alpha timeline was aiming for all along. Your utter failure was not only pre-ordained, it was requirement for existence to go as planned.Both Roxy and John experienced this, but Roxy got to move to a universe where her friends were still alive, and their formative experiences were identical: Roxy lived through, what, 24 hours that Dirk and Jake and John’s Hot Mom didn’t? Less? Dirk is still hurtling through space when John and Roxy arrive in Post-Retcon world, just as he was before Game Over broke bad. Roxy has to live with the horror of seeing her friends die - but her ‘replacement’ friends are functionally indistinguishable from the old ones. Which I’m not saying to be callous, but to contrast her with John. John moves to a universe where his sister shares almost none of his memories of years spent together on a golden ship, growing up together, bonding as closer friends, as siblings.We don’t talk about that enough, I think. Jade gets shafted in several ways in the final hours of Homestuck: she gets no chance to speak to John and say “you were dead” - to come to some kind of understanding, some beginning of healing. What must that be like, to meet someone - your own brother - who mostly knows a you you never were? John has all these memories of Jade and Jade has only a fraction of the memories of John.And for John there are those issues that he would have encountered anyway in the OG timeline had things gone well. His other close friends (heck, I’d argue he was closer to Dave and Rose pre-Sburb than he was to Jade; he calls Dave, at least, his best friend) had all spent years forming closer bonds with one-another and new people. In the OG timeline, had Game Over not happened and they’d won, John would still have had to bridge that gap of space and time: but he would have had his sister there for support, and companionship, and close bonds. The Jade he instead ends-up with is practically a stranger who spent three years mourning him (AND HER BOYFRIEND BIRDFRIEND WHO IS PART BOY (thanks @technicallynotanon for the reminder that retcon Jade didn’t date)) alone save for a bunch of none-too-bright animals and her ghost clown grandmother.It’s tragic - and to make it so much worse things seem to have been easy for everyone other than John. They all fell in to new things. Relationships, mostly: Dave and Karkat made room for Jade, Rose got married. Relationships tend to tax friendships: the singular I struggles to compete with the plural we. Only Terezi - with her endless capacity to understand the paths of mind - might have understood him: but she left, taking the blackrom crush with her as she did so.John was isolated. John was more isolated, more alone than any other person: even Callie, who had an intermission of eternity being dead, returned to a world full of friends who remembered her well, and she snagged a don’t-yet-have-the-label-for-it-partner in the process. She too had someone to turn to, and that someone was the only other person John shared his trauma with.Sometimes its hard to talk to people. Sometimes it is harder still when the shadow of a life-partner looms over everything.So John didn’t talk to Roxy. Why does that shock us? Why are we the least surprised? Why are we acting like his actions are so unconscionable? For all that they were so darn cute together that cuteness comprised a relation of several hours over which one of the top two greatest traumas of John Egbert’s life occurred.The other was the death of his father, who was murdered, and whose brutalized corpse John had to witness. A murder - as far as we know - that never had any closure. A murder - as he may have come to realize with some reflection - that occurred largely through the manipulations of the same troll girl his only other crush fucked-off to go find and be with.We keep minimizing John’s trauma. We keep not putting it into perspective. We do him such a disservice.We say, instead, that his not talking to Roxy - that brief surge of anger and shame that threatened to break through his crushing anhedonia, his envy of one person who found another when he did not - we say it is some appalling moral failure. I’m a depression sufferer with a life of regrets and an embarrassing number of long years full of singledom and opportunities that were missed accidentally, but just as often avoided on purpose because self-sabotage is a way of life for people like me.Self harm can be as simple a matter as seeing something you want and letting it slip away, watch it slip away, watch yourself watch it slip away knowing you could do something and then… just… not. And afterwards struggling to explain your actions to other people, and even to yourself: if only I’d… if I had just…why didn’t…?You let it happen because, deep-down, you know you don’t deserve it. The paths not taken, the paths heavy with bitterness, shame, self castigation - paths such as these I have in spades, and hearts, and clubs, and even diamonds.But I, of course, could NEVER see myself acting like John does, and I am sure that no one on Tumblr calling John a creeper has ever done something like it either. I am sure their reaction is born of pure and moral rectitude, and not fear and revulsion at seeing themselves reflected so completely in so unflattering a manner.Surely not they. Surely not I.John Egbert doesn’t need a reason to be depressed. Nobody does. But his depression is not solely an accident of brain chemistry: it is rooted in his sense of self, and his sense of self is a failure. He couldn’t save his dad. he couldn’t save his friends. He couldn’t win Sburb and he couldn’t build the universe he was allegedly destined to build. All of that happened only because Terezi knew how to use him: left to his own devices, nothing would ever have gone right. John couldn’t save anyone.Or so it must seem in the haunting privacy of his thoughts.John has lived with that failure circling around and around in his head since… oh, I’d say about thirty minutes after everything settled down on Earth-C, about an hour after the party ended and his friends went to their new homes and their new lives and he was alone for the first time with the things he had done and the things he failed to do. It probably started the moment he first noticed the silence of his house, the house that was essentially an exact replica of the house he had lived in on the very day his father was murdered and his litany of failures began. It probably began when he sat on the couch in that big empty house and stared at the door that his father was never, ever going to walk through and listened to deafening roar of being the only person there.That was when it started: with a hollow emptiness in the stomach. With a skull that every-so-slightly seemed to be pressing in on his brain, a feeling he’d never felt before. The sudden, sharp, jarring flashes of memory: his father’s body ripped eight ways to Sunday, Rose breathing her last in the dust of LOPAN, that awesome expanse of Skaia local alight with burning worlds and desecration. It began when the Heir of Breath found himself short of his own element for no reason at all, save that he simply found it hard to breathe, hard to make his body continue to breathe.He didn’t say anything at first.He made excuses.He didn’t want to bother people - told himself he was actually enjoying the alone time, enjoying having nothing to do after what felt like a lifetime of doing: although, really, the events of his life comprised little more than two sets of 24 hours spaced three years apart. And that bothered him too - “all things considered it’s not like you went off to war, John, and spent years away” he told himself. Retirement after two days of solid work? Most would kill for that. These and other good reasons not to say anything came and went: there was always a good reason not to say anything, and even those times when some semblance of human feeling  burned hot enough to produce genuine emotion he quickly suppressed it. It’s amazing how quickly depression is something you normalize, how quickly you find reason not to disturb it, to upset the status quo.By the time he realized even dimly that he should have said something to someone, anyone - about Roxy, or about that hollow feeling that now comprised his insides, about how nothing caused him joy or distress, that he could feel his youth rushing away from him in a torrent of time that he could do nothing to stop - it was too late. Perhaps it was always too late. This too, perhaps, was something that always had to happen.Perhaps.There is a moment at the end of Rosencrantz & Guildenstern Are Dead where Guildenstern, standing on the gallows, faced with his impending doom and the absurdity of his existence muses “There must have been a moment, at the beginning, where we could have said ‘no.’ But somehow we missed it.”Then he dies.That line echos with me. I suspect it echos with many people like me. That’s the worst part of depression: the sense that no matter how much your condition explains your past you are never free of the feeling that there was a moment you could have done something about it all - but you missed it. The moment was lost, and everything since has been one long, unending chain of payment for that mistake.John Egbert doesn’t need our pity, and nor do I mean to say that he is free of criticism. Our depression contextualizes our actions, but it does not excuse our frailties. John Egbert, however, deserves better than the disapprobation of sinners throwing stones.