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#they have got the spirit!
variousqueerthings · 2 years
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I live with one of my best friends and to the even mildly discerning eye obviously do not look like heterosexuals, and it’s so very funny to experience different places in the small town we live in accommodate for the nice young lesbian couple/trying very hard not to galpal us while also not saying the “l” word out loud and ofc the funniest thing is
neither of us is a lesbian, nor are we women, nor are we in a romantic relationship
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glitter-stained · 4 months
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Random goon: Hey boss, were you the one to pick that name as an alias? And why this one?
Red Hood : I used to have another name, before... A long time ago. But that person is dead now. I get to choose for myself now, they can't take that from me. I won't let them.
Goon: Huh.
***
Random Goon: Say boss, why do you never take off your shirt in front of us?
Red Hood: Well uh, I actually have that really fucked scar on my chest and I'm not comfortable with...
Random Goon: Don't worry boss, we get it, you don't have to explain yourself to us.
***
Red Hood, high on some toxin: God, I wish my family...
Random Goon (on boss-sitting duty): why not try reaching out to them?
Red Hood: They would never accept me as I am now... They wouldn't agree with my so-called "life choices". Besides, they don't miss me, they miss the person they think I used to be... I wasn't even a man when I last saw them.
Random Goon: Damn boss, that sucks.
***
And then the goons throw the Red Hood a party on trans visibility day and Jason is so confused he straight up cries.
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mickules · 3 months
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Happy Pride?
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[♥] [♥]
Another entry in Taka's accidental adventures in insulting people.
As someone who has an allergy to face-paint I have to duck and weave when folk bring out the rainbow face-paint sticks at pride, and I always have the urge to justify myself...
But no one believes you if you say something like 'I swear, I'm not honophobic! I just have an allergy!'
an "Allergy" indeed...
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clockwayswrites · 2 months
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5 Times the JL Learned Batman was Married and the 1 Time They Met the Spouse.
One. Two. Three. Four.
Four.
Clark stood up and positioned himself between the door and his injured teammate before it even opened, though not much before. His own delayed reaction made sense when it opened to show one of Batman’s teammates. While for the longest the League had thought Batman ‘worked alone’, they were now aware of there being a variety of heroes in Gotham, even if they were far from sure how many there might be or who those heroes were.
Nightingale was a notable exception what with his influence on the newest generation of heroes.
The young man flashed Clark a cheery smile and a little two finger wave. The motion almost distracting with the bright blue that marked the fingers.
“Hey Supes, I got notified that B was laid up.”
Clark paused. “You did?”
“Yep, I’m down as B’s emergency contact for Justice League matters. Feel free to confirm it if you want,” Nightingale said and leaned against the door frame with an easy shrug. “That’s exactly the sort of paranoia that B would approve of.”
It really was was, Clark thought. He grabbed the tablet that he had been using and pulled up Batman’s personnel file. It was a sparse file, of course, but clear as day Nightingale listed was next to ‘emergency contact’. Under his name as an alternative was ‘Condor’.
“Who’s Condor?”
“Me,” rumbled the man who stepped up behind Nightingale. He wasn’t as tall as the other hero, but he was broad. His lower face was covered in some sort of sleek gas mask, though Clark’s focus was pulled to the red lenses of the domino mask.
He certainly made for an intimidating figure.
Nightingale rolled his eyes. “Dramatic.”
Condor just shrugged. “I’m here to be the muscle.”
Clark’s brow furrowed. “For… what?”
“Oh, we’re taking B home!” Nightingale, well, chirped and pushed himself off the doorway.
Clark stepped in the way. “Batman needs to stay under medical supervision.”
“We know. We’re taking him to the Batcave. There’s a full medical set up there and we already have Batman’s personal doctor on hand to look him over,” Nightingale said as he smoothly edged his way around Clark. “Not that we don’t think you all have done your best! Just that way we’ll have his status for our files and he can recover at home.”
“Besides, you don’t want you-know-who to get wind that B is laid up like this and come storming the castle,” Condor said and came to take the other end of the medical bed.
Nightingale gave an over-the-top shudder. “Yeah, best to avoid that, he’s not having a good week already.”
“I, no, I don’t know who,” Clark said with a frown, though he did finally step out of their way. He couldn’t really tell them no, they did have control over Batman’s care. Still, he carefully watched them undo the clasps that would let them take off the top of the bed like a stretcher.
Condor lifted his end of the bed. “B’s husband, of course. Guy’s a little protective.”
“A little?” Nightingale asked as he pivoted with his end of the bed so they could start walking. “Calling him ‘a little’ protective is like calling what happened on Monday a ‘little’ multidimensional incident.”
Condor shrugged, the bed shifting a little with the motion, though it barely rocked Batman. “Okay, so maybe he’d rewrite the world for B if it came to it. That’s exactly why we’re getting B back to the Cave where he can be safe and settled before his paramour gets back from dealing with that ‘little’ multidimensional incident.”
“Right,” agreed Nightingale. “Thanks for looking after him, Supes!”
“You’re welcome?” Clark replied as the two heroes left the room, Batman carried between them.
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nonasbirthday · 11 months
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Clear as mud! But I expect nothing less from a Homestuck 🫡
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methoughtsphantom · 3 months
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Danny fake guardian angel au
You know how sometimes it’s highlighted how you have to be very careful on what you say in the presence of a spirit because they can twist your words and end up bidding yourself to it?? well uno-reverse-card the spirit also has to be careful on what he says because when Danny had said he owed the dude one for coming to his rescue in a gala Vlad had dragged him to, he didn’t expect that to be taken literally.
danny: wait seriously?? i literally say that all the time!
cw: not after being crowned ghost king, you haven’t
danny: but—but I was also human when I said it. doesn’t that protect me or smth
cw: *shakes his head*
danny:
danny: omg this is a nightmare
cue timmy’s brucequest period (cuz he’s the guy) being so high strung and tired, he just wants some company, which is a so low stakes thing to want the deal Danny unintentionally goes sure we can do that and pulls him towards the guy, despite Timmy never outright saying he wants company. (tim always speaks in the sanctity of his own mind, not out loud)
So. random spirit manifesting. Tim going all who the fuck are u
and Danny panicking and saying your guardian angel
Tim not being impressed while Danny promptly blushes like a moron because that did not come off as he wanted it to.
Yes accidental dead tired where the dynamic goes from Tim trying to shake this probably demon that somehow latched to him being all like ??? dude leave me alone, and Danny being there like bitch i’m trying
to
huh. im actually being protected by a spirit like he said he would. he’s strangely an idiot but also he’s overpowered and just never leaves my side which he says it’s an angel obligation but I think it’s bullshit but also hoping it’s not because it appeals to my crippling fear of abandonment (anyways he really seems to take after those little cartoon angels that poof into your shoulder to keep from me doing wrong decisions) translate into my future boyfriend seems increasingly appalled to what i am up to
meanwhile danny
Bitch you better thank your god I’m dead because otherwise I would already been killed. I did not sign up for a assassins what the fuck I thought you were a normal civilian not a literal superhero and omg that is a fruitloop. no no back off you wrinkly raisin this is my emotional support idiot you can’t have him and what do you mean you’re messing with time whatever this way I can get back to clockwork—
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kedreeva · 8 months
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I'm so sorry, I'm absolutely losing it. I went to my neighbor's today to find out what I would need to do to care for their puppy this weekend, and This Fucking Thing appeared ajgldfkjhfg she is a turkey hen. you know, the birds who quite famously look like this
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with no feathers on their heads, or very little, mostly along the spine/top of the head... and this gal just rocks up with not only a LITTLE bit of feathering, but almost completely covered. Even her WATTLE had feathers.
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I'mc rying
i said, what the hell is going on here? and they were like
her name's Fluffy
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jestroer · 11 months
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im back with the goods
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animentality · 4 months
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controversial hot take of the day:
game of thrones fans deserved what they got in 2019.
they deserved it.
nine years.
NINE years.
NINE YEARS they circle jerked themselves all over the rest of us, with the "omg game of thrones is the best story ever written in the history of humanity" and "it's so dark and there's so much sex and violence and it's so hot and it's sooo mature, it's not boring and sexless like lord of the rings-"
yeah well, Lord of the fucking Rings stuck the landing, didn't it?
it also had a fucking ending.
game of thrones fans probably won't see a novel ending. so the TV show ending is their canon ending.
and they deserve it.
they talked it up for nine years, acted like it was this perfect beautiful thing that would go down in history as the greatest story ever to grace this earth, and if you didn't like it, then you were called some kind of moron.
by fucking soccer moms with the literary comprehension of a tortoise, and cis white men who think anything with tits, rape, and people being beheaded is "deep" and intelligent.
I remember being pestered nonstop by my peers and my coworkers to watch it, because it's part of the "cultural zeitgeist" and it was a "part of history."
Well, well, well.
Icarus called to tell you your time was up, but you didn't listen until you hit the ground.
But those wax wings sure were beautiful while they existed, weren't they?
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arktic-rage · 3 months
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honestly I absolutely love the Avvar in Jaws of Hakkon. How they worship the gods, how they view the world around them, how accepting they are and just how interesting they are too. I absolutely despise how the Inquisitor and Companions make commentary as if they're stupid or wrong in their beliefs, or that they're "just crazy people who worship spirits".
The dialogue you don't choose or even the ones you do are on the line of condescending, and it's frankly insulting, especially that all options on the dialogue wheel fall on that line.
the Avvar are so fucking cool, I hate we only get a DLC with them. (I also miss the Chasind - I wish they weren't forgotten or left in the dirt by BioWare :( )
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demaparbat-hp · 5 months
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Almost
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kikker-oma · 1 year
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THE CHAIN WITH A CHILD
I REPEAT- THE CHAIN WITH A CHILD
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s0fter-sin · 5 months
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i need ghoap frantically making out against a door finally taking the leap on their feelings. need ghost grinding against soap, expecting to find him just as hard as him, only to feel nothing
and in all his wisdom and experience, he concludes soap was tortured and never told him
he’s trying to think of a delicate way to say he understands, that he’s been through it and it doesn’t change anything about how he feels (and who the fuck touched him so he can hunt them down and rend them limb from limb)
meanwhile trans!soap’s just trying to find the best angle to grind his cunt on ghost’s thigh
just it never even entering ghost’s head bc he’s never known a trans person but he has met plenty of people who’ve been tortured - himself included - so of course that’s his logical leap
soap takes off his shirt and he sees his top surgery scars and ghost asks if he wants him to kill the one who did it and soap just hums like, “actually, man did pretty good, they healed real well,” and ghost’s just teary-eyes with awe at how well he’s coping, “looking on the bright side, that’s my johnny.”
imagine he thinks johnny was fully castrated but sees he’s determined to still have a sex life with him so he buys packers and straps to help him bc hell yeah healing and soap’s just like, “holy shit i’ve never had such a thoughtful partner before, such a sweet man, lt.”
#he a little confused but he got the spirit#its so good bc it can be super angsty of ghost really dreading whats been done to his sergeant and trying to make it right#or just go full crack treated seriously and have fun with it#i love just completely oblivious ghost#in any military context hes the smartest guy in the room#he always knows the play and has more experience than anyone#but stick him in the normal world? man is Lost#ghost just thinks hes had some kind of reconstruction surgery after being tortured and accepts thats what johnny looks like#bc hes never seen a pussy before#it takes years for soap to actually come out to him bc he just never thought to#hes seen him naked theyve literally slept together what else is there for him to say#then he shows him like a family album or something and ghosts just like ‘why arent you in any of these i only see girls’#and he just goes ‘hang on a second’#soap gets one of his sporadic periods one night and panics a little thinking it would weird ghost out or remind him that hes not cis#but ghost just thinks its a normal part of such a thorough reconstruction that hed bleed sometimes#and doesnt question it when soap grabs a pad out of his drawer bc ‘thats such a good way of handling the discharge my johnnys so smart’#just really supportive ghost for the wrong reasons#coming out of my cage and ive been doing just fine.txt#we’re a team. ghost team#soapghost#ghostsoap#simon ghost riley#ghost cod#john soap mactavish#soap cod#save post
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haunted-xander · 5 months
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Compromise
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artkaninchenbau · 2 months
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You know what day it— Daisuke?! Happy 24th Anniversary Zero Two! [Redraw 2020 / Appmon] [2021 / Tamers] [2022 / Frontier] [2023 / V-Tamer]
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poorly-drawn-mdzs · 4 days
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This one is for all my fellow "My gender is 'I have a job and I can't worry about that right now"'. I see you.
(part 1, part 2)
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