#they have each other and at this point that’s more than enough really that’s way too much to expect

[the-lady-bryan]

So at first I reblogged this with nothing. No comment, no tags. But then... I dunno I just felt compelled to share this from my life and came back to edit my reblog.

Years ago in February 2010, I moved from Florida to Georgia due to my parents splitting for good. I knew if I stayed with my dad, violence would happen at some point and one of us would be dead and the other in jail for it. I had just started treatment for my bipolar in August 2009 shortly after getting my diagnosis. To move, I had to drop out of college. I'd had to take a year off previously due to family and financial reasons, and had finally gotten back in January 2010. I also had to get a new psychiatrist and therapist so I could continue treatment for my mental health.

It was in group therapy at the new facility in GA where I met this woman. We'll call her Raven, as that's her preferred name. Raven was an older woman in her 50s. We did not have anything in common. But I saw her every week at group. She's been doing this for years. Decades at this point, and while we didn't really interact beyond polite greetings and goodbyes or small talk in the waiting room, a lot of what she said about coping skills resonated with me. Standard coping skills never worked for her, and they don't for me either. So any time she had suggestions for others outside the box, I'd make a note to look into it or try it out. Little by little, her suggestions began to help me adjust to my new situation and work on myself finally after years of being a punching bag for various members of my immediate family. I also heard a lot about her kids, especially her oldest. She never named them. Just indicated them as first son/eldest, daughter/middle, and second son/youngest.

Due to being unable to find work, I left GA for Florida for six months in 2011, returning to GA in September of that year. When I went back into treatment, I didn't see her anymore. I didn't go to group, didn't have transportation reliable enough. And we didn't have appointments near each other either so I didn't cross paths with her again. I'd largely forgotten this woman who had such a positive impact on my recovery and healing journey.

Then, in January 2013, I (unknowingly) met her again at my local library. At this point in my life, I was finally at a point where I was able, with some difficulty, start socializing. I was more confident in myself and my skills and while I hadn't landed a job yet, I did have a few interviews, that sadly I didn't pass but it was better than my job hunts before! And I owed a lot of that progress to that woman's nonjudgmental attitude and suggestions during group years previous.

When I met her again, not recognizing her (admittedly I didn't realize our connection for about 4-6 months after our remewting at the library) I also met her eldest son who was with her that day, who's name I did not know. Because of her suggestions, which I took to heart and used to work on myself for a few years, I was able to not have a panic attack talking to new people. So when this dorky but kinda hot looking guy's phone shouted "EXTERMINATE!" at top volume in the library in a Dalek voice, it immediately drew my attention and prompted me to go over and chat him up. I was only interested in making a new friend, and it was obvious we had a shared interest (as I was wearing my Tom Baker scarf that day as well, so yeah... Very obvious shared interest).

Now, 11 years after marrying that man who's name I learned that very day, and 14 years after meeting his mother, my life is not at all where I imagined it to be at 37. I expected to be a hermit with dogs and alone forever. Now I'm a married person with a 10 year old kid and a dog older than the kid by about a year or two. It's been hard, yes. But I'm actually quite happy with the way things turned out.

Weird how it all started by meeting this one crazy old woman at group therapy.

What’s crazy is you can just meet someone and have no idea they’re going to change your life forever

[kaisaerinlover]

inspired by @twijaxx take on the kaiser scene at the end of ep 14 😍😍😍

imagine kaiser booked a nice little hotel getaway for you both to get a way for a bit on his break, a really rare occurrence for him. he barely ever gets a break from football so it’s nice to escape once in a while and have some normalcy. berlin is a really nice city too, and kaiser’s pockets are deep enough to afford the best of the best. that’s why you’re both sitting on the balcony after his shower, sipping at champagne worth more money than either of you could have envisioned a few years ago. kaiser likes treating himself to the luxuries of life; expensive champagne, 5 star hotels, designer robes, exquisite jewellery. but most of all you. you are the greatest luxury of them all.

and you know how to use that nice little mouth you have on you as well - so almost every single night like this ends with you on your knees sucking his cock, taking it so well.

and tonight isn’t any different, he’s a bit drunk, you’re sober. he throws you that charming smirk that no girl can resist, not even you, and you know what he wants. the city is so beautiful at this time. it’s a shame your view is obstructed by his cock, or not, you like the sight and he knows you do. he has you on your knees beneath the opaque table, has you at his feet exactly where he likes you, almost spoon feeding you his length. and you open your mouth so meekly. so willing and so obedient for him just how he likes it.

you know you’re doing a good job the way his hand is tangled in your hair and he’s pushing your head down on his cock so hard your nose is smashed into his pubic bone. but neither of you care; you’re both as disgusting and perverted as each other. “keep going f’ me baby” he breathes out. and he feels like he’s about to cum, he really does, until his phone vibrates on the table. you expect him to not answer because of the way he growls in such an irritated manner, until you hear him breathe a sigh of relief. before he can even answer you stop sucking him and look up at him with big pouty eyes. “micha are you really gonna answer at a time like this?” god he wants to destroy you, he really fucking does. looking at you with saliva coating your pretty pink lips and teary eyes whilst you’re on your knees looking so desperate to have his dick lodged in your throat again, you’re a sight for sore eyes. but he just rolls his eyes and snaps at you “obviously, if i was going to press answer before you stopped sucking me, stupid whore” you’re used to his chastising at this point. so you just whine up at him, before he shuts you up again with one thrust of his cock back in your mouth. you’re mad, you look ridiculous with your angry pouting face and his shaft in your mouth. he does a shushing motion to you before he starts speaking on the phone.

he knows you won’t do anything against him, so he just leaves you to cockwarm him whilst he talks. you’re dumb and malleable, so he knows the call doesn’t need to be made in private. every so often he leans down and smacks your cheek affectionately, but god. the wait is so fucking agonising. it really feels like it’s been an hour. you just want to taste his cum, feel his cock, have his fingers inside you, anything. but you’re forced to sit on your knees whilst he makes some stupid call.

so you do something a little unprecedented, especially for a girl who kaiser thought was so obedient. you stand up from where you were originally kneeling and sit yourself down on his cock. and boy is he mad, he’s never shoved his hands over a phone speaker so fast. “what are you doing you fucking idiot?” his words are sharp and he hisses them at you. you just whine back at him. “you’re making me wait too long- don’t w-wanna wait- ah” he wants to fucking punch you right now, wants to grab your jaw and break it. he really fucking does. thank god he’s holding his hand over the speaker or they’d hear those precious moans that only HE deserves to hear. kaiser is really angry at you, but this call is important, so he simply brings his mouth to your ear and whispers, “fine stay like this then, but you better be a good fucking girl yeah? behave or you won’t cum tonight.” and you’re elated, you really are. you feel so full with his cock inside you. kaiser just dead eyes you and goes back to talking with whoever is on the other end. some boring football stuff, you suppose.

but god, this is even more agonising than before now; you stupid horny little thing. it’s even worse now, you wanna bounce on his cock so bad. you want him to fuck you so hard oh so desperately, but if you move you know you’re in trouble. he has one hand holding his phone to his ear as he talks and the other twirling pieces of your hair around his finger as he stares off into the serene view of the city. god you hate this, you hate it so much. you hate how sweetly he’s playing with your locks, how the city is so fucking peaceful and boring, and how he’s not doing anything. kaiser is a man who knows how to control all of his stimuli, he’s toying with you, you’re too stupid to realise it. he wants to laugh at you and your pathetic state, but he can’t; he has matters to attend to!

your pretty little head is filled with nothing except thoughts of how hard you want him to bang you on this stupid little table. how you want him to just bend you over and fuck the living shit out of you. but he’s still talking. you’re so desperate, poor stupid you, you contemplate moving despite his words. but that won’t end well. but i called you stupid for a reason, you did it anyway! you try to do it as lightly as you can; you really swear! you’d never want to anger your boyfriend on purpose. but it’s on his fucking cock you idiot. you think he can’t feel it. he growls in your ear, getting agitated now “listen you fucking whore, if you can’t even wait a few minutes for me to finish talking what does that say about you?” he’s insulting your self control. it’s true you’re so pathetic. but he keeps going to your surprise, having muted his end of the line to give you this scolding. “pull that shit on me again you little bitch and i swear to fucking god i will leave you like this and i won’t touch you ever again. understand?�� he’s angry, and you gulp. kaiser’s wrath is not something anyone would ever want to face. but you’re so desperate, you beg, you plead for him to reconsider “p-please- can’t wait more- i can’t micha i can’t i can’t i ca-“ and god does your sweet begging just make him even harder. pisses him off even more. he has your throat in his tattooed hand now. “i said, do you understand, don’t make me ask again, engelchen” engelchen, what an ironic nickname for what you’re doing right now. “mmmhm- micha-“ he slaps you a bit. “use your words or i might not know what you mean, baby” he’s such a fucking tease. it’s so hard to speak without moaning, and you know if you get him in trouble he’ll be super pissed. that’s a line you don’t wanna cross for sure. “u-understand micha-“ and he glares at you. but he releases his grip, picks up his phone and praises you before he unmutes himself again. “good girl, wait a few more minutes yeah? then i’ll give you what you want.”

those few minutes were the most painful minutes of your life. even torture couldn’t compare to this. you want him so fucking bad, you’re like a bunny in heat, and he forced you to wait and sit still the entire time. if you so much as moved he shot you a look so cold and mean it could probably kill the average person. you’re used to it; and you hate the fact it turned you on even more. you’re literally foaming at the mouth, bless your poor soul. you don’t even realise when your boyfriend finally hangs up the phone until he grips your waist again and takes a swig of his champagne. ready? and you’re so ready, oh you’re so fucking ready, you nod so eagerly - when you hear the glass clink on the table and feel him picking you up off his lap you know what’s coming.

it’s like heaven when he bends your sweet little ass over the table and fucks you into oblivion. you whined so much, god your moans are music to his ears. the neighbours probably thought there was an early christmas choir with all the slapping and the noises. no; that’s just you and your boyfriend’s disgustingly crude display of love. kaiser is a rough fucker, and today is no different; well, yes it is. he’s mad at you, he’s so mad, you can tell from the way he’s holding your head down against the table and smashing his fat girth so hard into your little cunt. you might just split open. it wouldn’t surprise you. but who cares? this is like heaven.

all of his rage from your stupid, impatient, slutty antics is poured into each thrust. after he was nice enough to let you sit on his lap? “you fucking slut, you- ah- deserve this so much-“ he condescends you as he pounds your little backside. your pussy is aching and his cock is filling you up and hitting the right places so well. he pulls your face up by the hair just enough for you to be able to respond to him. he wants to hear you. “m-michaaa- hard-der- more- micha- ‘m sorry- love you- love your cock- love you lo-love you-“ your cries are so cute. he loves your teary face and your desperate whines. with a final hard thrust he finally finishes inside of you. and just the feeling of his hot cum in your womb is enough to give you an orgasm too. the feeling of him inside you is incredible. you’re kinda like a jigsaw puzzle; you want to laugh at that thought. that would be a really disgusting puzzle.

when he finally pulls out, your saliva from before and his cum drip out of your pussy. there’s slick rolling down your legs and your hair is all messed up. he doesn’t like seeing his essence leak out of you though, so he roughly pushes it back in with two fingers and leans down to peck your forehead. “today i was nice, you and me both know that. fix up your act, prinzessin” and all you can do is nod, you both know nothing will change, you’re a cockdrunk little slut. but you can pretend, you’re both good at that. all you can do is pant as you feel him lift you into his arms and lean into his chest.

tonight’s sleep is gonna hit so different.

[drunkinyourbenz]

drunk arguing w billie?

i went slightly overboard i am so sorry anon

୨ৎ i don't wanna talk right now. b.e

୨ৎ billie eilish x fem!reader

୨ৎ genre: angst

୨ৎ content: fighting (duh), billie's drunk, toxic relationship, emotional abuse (?), billie's a bitch, dont wanna spoil anything else js read it babe <3

୨ৎ taglist: @47lake @st0nerlesb0 @n0vabug @darkside-0f-the-sun @asterisk-eyes

୨ৎ note: sorry in advance <3

you were anxious, to say the least. you knew it had gotten bad again for billie, that much was obvious. but you’d expected her to maybe… talk to you about it. after a year and a half of dating, you felt like perhaps you could be someone she trusted enough to turn to. but you weren’t. 

it was nothing personal, you supposed. she wasn’t talking to anyone about it—not finneas, not zoe, not even maggie. she had a tendency to close herself off, and you knew that was something she had to work through herself. 

…but that didn’t stop the fact that you were up at eleven thirty at night, wondering when your girlfriend would come home. you felt sick with worry, your stomach turning in the most heart wrenching way. what if something was going really badly wrong? what if it was worse than you thought? 

you couldn’t take your mind off it, no matter what you did. you’d even dragged yourself into the kitchen to bake some cookies, thinking that maybe having something else to focus on would ease your worries. but no, after every cup of flour and every pinch of salt, your mind drifted back to her. you almost burnt the cookies because of how heavy your heart was with worry. 

recently, she’d been getting home later and later, and although you acted as if nothing had changed, you could remember vividly every hour where you wondered where she was, if she was okay. most nights, she would get home around ten pm, crawling into bed with you and wrapping her arms around you. the feeling of her head buried in the crook of your neck brought far more comfort than it should, considering the situation. 

earlier in your relationship, she would get home at around six, maybe eight. either way, you’d have time to spend together. you ate dinner together like a normal couple, and sometimes you had movie nights. it didn’t matter what you did, because you were together. 

but now, you weren’t sure if you’d eaten dinner together once in the past two weeks. 

each time she got home late, you could smell the alcohol on her. it wasn’t that strong, but it was the pattern that worried you. all signs were pointing towards a downward spiral, and she wouldn’t even talk to you, her own girlfriend. 

upon hearing the door open abruptly, you looked up from where you’d been staring blankly at the chocolate chip cookies as they cooled. you pursed your lips as you heard the door slam, and you suddenly didn’t want to see billie anymore. you’d been so anxious about where she was, so eager to finally see her again, but… you didn’t want to see her, not like this. 

but it was her house too, so soon enough, stumbling footsteps could be heard through the hallway, and you heard her lazily kick her shoes off at the door. it didn’t take long for her to come into view as she walked into the living room that was connected to the kitchen you were in. she dumped her bag on the couch, shrugging her jacket off while she was at it. 

she did a double take when she saw you, as if she’d expected you to just be fast asleep in bed. she froze for a second or two, before letting out a heavy sigh. 

there was no other sign of acknowledgement, she walked to the sink and grabbed a glass of water, looking past you as if you didn’t exist. you could’ve sworn you felt your heart sink—this was worse than usual. 

closing your eyes briefly, you inhaled deeply, you were well aware she hadn’t been talking to finneas or maggie about this—you’d just gotten off the phone with a very concerned maggie, and you felt so guilty for not being able to assure her that everything was fine, that her daughter was okay. because you truly didn’t know. 

the silence that hung over the room was heavy and uncomfortable, making you feel strangely claustrophobic. you knew that the silence would have to be broken eventually, so you spoke. you skipped the usual ‘how was your day’ and simply got straight to the point. “...are you okay?”

her head snapped up as if she’d been snapped out of a daze, and she looked at you as if she were suddenly seeing you for the first time. you watched as she swallowed, and finally forced herself to speak in a whisper. “...i don’t know.” billie replied blankly, and you felt your heart ache at her tone. it was as if she had already accepted that fact, and wasn’t going to do anything to drag herself out of the pool of endless self destruction.

“is there anything i can do, my love?”

in the past, that sentence would have had her collapsing into your arms, letting you hold her until she felt even a little bit better. this time, however, just she looked at you for a moment. behind that cold facade, you could’ve sworn you saw something flash in her eyes–hope? love? you weren’t sure, because it disappeared as quickly as it’d flashed over her face. 

her voice came out harsher than you’d expected when she spoke, “you could leave me alone.” 

you simply blinked in surprise. you weren’t going to push her to talk to you about it, obviously, but it confused you that she was resorting to this…meanness. she didn’t just say it like she needed space—which, in reality, was something she had gotten a lot of lately—she said it like you were the issue. like you had caused everything wrong in her life at the moment. that stung more than you thought it would. 

however, you didn’t want to be that pushy girlfriend who couldn’t let things go, so you just nodded slowly, trying to hide the concern still in your voice. “i mean, if that’s what you need…”

the two of you stood in the kitchen for what felt like hours—it was probably just five minutes, but the tense silence was suffocating. you wanted to say something, to help her, but what could you do that she wouldn’t just scoff at and ignore? 

abruptly, interrupting the strangling silence, billie stood up. in her haste, she knocked over a glass on the table, and you flinched as you watched it fall to the floor and shatter. billie didn’t spare the broken glass a single glance as she snapped, “you know what?”

your eyes dart between billie and the glass before settling on your girlfriend, looking at the uncharacteristic anger in her expression. “what?”

“i hate that you do this! you never push me to talk! you never help me! you never…” she trailed off, running out of words to say but certainly not running out of anger. 

“excuse me?” you raised an eyebrow, “haven’t you noticed the way i’ve been doing absolutely everything i can to help for months? everything. no matter what i do, you push me away. you push everyone away—i just got a call from maggie, who was crying because she’s so worried about you. i can’t do shit to help if you don’t want to be helped, billie. no one can.” 

her mouth fell open, and she spent a minute just staring at you. you could see the debate she was having with herself in her mind, the way she was wondering whether to follow the rational or emotional part of her brain. you could tell that she knew you were right, but it looked like her frustration was too intense and her mind was too clouded by alcohol to actually think properly. 

the anger won, as it had been a lot recently. you were right, of course. you always were when it came to her—you knew her better than you knew yourself. 

“shut up! you’re not helpful, and you can’t fix me! you can’t fix anything!” her voice was only raising in volume, and she stepped closer to you, a finger jabbing the air between you to emphasise her words. 

you subconsciously took an instinctive step backwards as she stepped towards you, your back hitting the countertop. “then tell me what i can do!” 

billie scoffed, “you can leave! you can ignore it like you usually do!” she was yelling at this point, “you can be useless like you usually are!” 

you visibly flinched at those last words. part of your brain reminded you that she’s drunk, she doesn’t mean it, but the other half was shouting at you about how drunk words are sober thoughts. your mind was racing at this point, was that really how little she thought of you? you swallowed heavily before speaking softly, “do you…do you really think i don’t care?” 

momentarily, she seemed to recognise the hurt on your face, and something like guilt appeared in her eyes. said guilt didn’t last, and the anger was rushing back even more all-consuming than it had been before, “of course you don’t care!”

you stared at her in disbelief—did she genuinely believe you didn’t care? did she not see all the effort you put in for her? you opened your mouth to speak, but she bet you to it. 

“you know what?” she didn’t give you time to speak, she just rushed into her point. “i wish you weren't even here. i’d be better off dealing with this alone. without your stupid, useless attempts to help.”

yet again, you stared at her in shock. you didn’t think you could be more hurt in one night even if you tried. she’s drunk, you kept telling yourself, but deep down you knew that wasn’t an excuse. if she loved you, she wouldn’t say these things. once again, she continued before you could get a word in. her anger was consuming her in her drunken state, there was no thought behind her words, just the first insults she could find. 

“you’re a fucking burden, you know that? i don’t need you, i don’t want you, you’re just in the way. always in the fucking way!” 

just when you thought it couldn’t get worse, she went there. you froze in place, taking a long moment to just stare at her in disbelieving silence. “...what did you just say?”

noticing that her words finally seemed to hit a nerve, she only pushed further, “you heard me. you always have been.” 

that hit like a slap in the face, leaving you speechless. you truly didn’t know what to say, it didn’t feel like you were looking at the love of your life anymore. this was a stranger, someone you knew so well but at the same time knew absolutely nothing about. you weren’t sure when the first tear had fallen, but they were now streaming down your cheeks. 

“you–” billie opened her mouth to continue, but you interrupted her. 

“that’s enough.” your voice was shaky but surprisingly firm, and at your firm tone, billie pauses. her mouth was still open to continue, but then she looked at you. she really looked at you, and saw the tears on your cheeks and the look in your eyes.

it was as if she were seeing you for the first time in the whole night, and you watched as the angry mask crumbled right in front of your eyes. after watching her for a moment, your eyes trailed down to the floor as you took a deep breath, wanting to look anywhere except for her. 

“fuck,” she murmured, her breathing shallow as she seemed to actually realise what she’d just said.  

“i-i’m sorry–” billie whispered, her voice weak as she looked at you, reaching out for your arm and only causing you to shift away from her so she couldn’t touch you. you watched as her eyes widened in panic at your avoidance of her touch, as the weight of her words seemed to sink in. “i didn’t mean it–you know that–”

you give her a look, raising an eyebrow, “really? because you had a lot to say.”

“i love you. you know that.”

those three words didn’t feel like they held the same meaning as they used to, they weren’t giving you the butterflies you used to get. actions speak louder than words, and her actions were greatly lacking. “then start acting like it.” 

“how?” her voice was a whisper, barely audible. 

you swallowed, looking down at the floor and then back at her. it felt like her fist was in your chest, ripping your heart out. it physically hurt you to have this conversation. 

“i can’t spell it out for you, billie. you used to show it, you’ll figure it out if you want to. if you really can’t, i think that says something for itself.”

in your mind, you silently wished for her to say something. to say she can try, she can fix this. but you weren’t sure how much was even left to fix, after all these months of cracks spreading through your relationship and pushing you further apart. but you remembered. you remembered when the two of you use to dance through the kitchen just because you felt like it. you remembered staying up all night cuddled up in bed having whispered conversations about absolutely nothing and everything at the same time. it hadn’t been like that in a long time, but you knew that both of you remembered it as if it were yesterday. 

and despite it all, despite how much billie wanted to beg you to stay, to do everything she possibly could to cling to you until she somehow mended all the broken patches in your relationship, she knew you were right. she couldn’t let you tell her how to fix this, she’d have to figure it out by herself.

and she didn’t know how, so she let you stand up and walk out the door. 

which, its own cruel way, was an answer in itself. 

[himbosandhardwear]

Steddie I Soulmate AU I 2k I Rated Mature I idiot4idiot

The thing about linking with your soulmate, you never knew when it was going to happen. There were horror stories about it happening during weddings to someone else or while performing heart surgery or landing a plane, but linking was so rare, stories like that seemed more like fairy tales than cautionary ones.

If anyone had asked Eddie what he thought about it, he would've said the odds of there being some guy out there destined to be his mate, let alone that he'd have to worry about linking during some critical moment, were astronomically low.

He'd be wrong.

Because his ears are ringing, his vision has tunnelled, and there's an empty vacuum where his usual chaotic thoughts should be. All signs pointing toward-

Hello?

Jesus H. Christ, not now! Not right now, this cannot be happening now. Quick! Think of something else! Uhhh… Golems! Ice golems! Or maybe frost giants. Yeah! Not having hate sex with your arch nemesis. Shit! Stop thinking about it! Frost giants, frost giants, frost giants!

Hate sex? He hears echo around his noggin next. Arch nemesis?

Fuuuuuck. No, darlin’, don't even worry about that stray thought! Nothing to see here. I'm, uh, baking! Yeah. Brownies. For a charity bake sale

A long pause, empty space between them, before he says, I don't believe you. I think you are having sex

Sex?! He screeches. How dare you! I would never!

You would. Go balls deep into a guy you don't even like, sounds like to me. Class act.

Oh god, there’s gotta be a way to salvage this.

No, let me explain, please!

Knock yourself out

Right. So, this guy, I know him from school, right? And he was always kind of a jerk. The space between them pings with a sort of stung feeling but Eddie doesn't understand how any of this works yet so he ignores it. But we end up having a few mutual friends, and this one really weird event happens that forces us to, like, team up, I guess. After all that I'm spending more time around the guy and he's not so bad. Invited me over to smoke up with him, which was cool. I'm gonna be totally honest, I'm not sure how exactly we got here, the sex part, but it’s pretty hot and heavy, kinda aggressive, so… yeah. Hate sex I guess

Soulmate is quiet again. His feelings bleed through anyway, at least Eddie's pretty sure that's what he's getting. It feels like embarrassment and disappointment.

You okay? Did I scare you off?

You don't like the guy at all? You said arch nemesis

Oh. Uh. Well… How did he explain to his future partner, if he hadn't already ruined it, that he likes him plenty, he's just been holding him at arms length, metaphorically, because he assumed the guy was straight? Up until roughly twenty minutes ago. He should probably start with honesty.

No, I like him okay. He's not as bad as I'd always thought. We give each other shit but I'm pretty sure it's just left over bullshit stereotypes from high school. I bully him about his music taste, he bullies me about my shitty van. That type of thing

…Right

He waits to hear back from his soulmate but he's not very talkative. That's okay, Eddie can talk enough for both of them.

So, what were you up to when we linked? Not driving I hope

He can hear the guy sighing over the link, which is worrying.

You'll never believe it, but I'm also having sex at the moment

Seriously? That's hilarious

Yeah. A hoot

Not having fun?

I was. But I recently found out the guy doesn't like me that much. So, yeah, real mood killer

Oh man. That sucks

Oh my god. Yeah, it really does. Kinda wish he'd get off of me so we can get the awkward part over with but he's distracted at the moment

Doing what?! Eddie yells, offended on his behalf.

“He’s busy not realizing he linked to the guy he was hate fucking.”

Huh?

“Eddie, open your fucking eyes.”

That's Steve talking.

He blinks his eyes open to see Steve looking up at him. He's not pleased.

Wait

“Yeah.”

Oh my god

“As impressive as it is that you managed to stay hard through that whole thing, I'd appreciate it if you-” He hisses as Eddie, rudely he realizes, pulls out without warning.

He scrambles to the end of the bed, bunching up the comforter around his junk. “I'm so sorry, fuck, Steve, I'm so sorry. I don't… I didn't…”

He can't fix this, he starts to slowly comprehend. He's made Steve think he hates him.

“Nah, it's cool. I get it.”

I don't hate you, I swear. You have to believe me

“Sure, Eddie.” He's yanking his briefs back on, angry and trying not to show it. “You just don't like me much.” Can't believe I did this again. So fucking stupid

Eddie's certain he's not meant to hear any of that but he responds anyway.

You're not stupid. Please let me explain

“You already did. And I am fucking stupid,” he snaps. “Here I thought we were flirting this whole time and you thought we were bullying each other. That's real fuckin’ stupid of me. I'd convinced myself you actually-” He snaps his teeth shut but Eddie can still hear the unfinished -liked me. “I really wish you would control your feelings, dude. You're broadcasting your horror straight into my head.”

“I don't know how to stop,” he quietly admits.

“Well if you'd ever shown up to health class you'd know how to control it.”

I never thought I would get a soulmate

Steve's surprise at that pings around his brain before he does what Eddie can't and shuts it down.

“I did. I've been thinking about it for years.”

And you ended up with me… And I ruined it before we even got started. I ruined it. Steve Harrington is my soulmate and I ruined it. What the fuck

“You don't have to say it like I'm some kind of prize.” He steps into his jeans and tugs them back up to his hips, not even bothering to do them up. Which is- “I guess it's nice that you think I'm hot. That's something. Maybe we'll be the first casual hookup soulmates.”

He has to fix this. Somehow. Think, god damnit! Wait! That's it! He just has to show Steve what he's thinking!

“I wish you wouldn't.”

“Too bad!” He snaps back.

Okay, as embarrassing as this is about to be, he has to tell the truth.

Eddie was in the 8th grade, Steve in 7th, when they first met. Or, when Eddie first noticed Steve anyway, they never really spoke to each other, their cliques already established by then. But Eddie can remember it like it was yesterday. It was lunch, Eddie was walking by with his bagged PB&J, when he heard it. Steve laughing. It was so joyful, Eddie didn't even know what he was laughing about but it made him smile anyway. Of course one of Steve's shitty jock friends caught him staring and called him a queer freak but that wasn't unusual.

“What the fuck, Eddie? Why do you remember that? And how are you so good at visualizing?”

He ignores the questions to move on to the next memory. Eddie's sophomore year they somehow ended up in the same Shop class. Again, they never spoke but he got to watch Steve work, tongue poking out while he concentrated, the proud look on his face when he whittled some hunk of wood into a recognisable shape.

“I forgot about that. It was a dolphin. I was dating Chelsea Hosteller, they were her favorite animal.”

“Lucky her.”

“Hey, fuck you, man, you're the one showing me this shit! What am I supposed to assume from any of this? You thought I was cute? So what? You clearly don't like who I am as a person, so what difference does it make?”

He's not going to have the patience for every single moment, and they're a lot of them, Eddie realizes that now. So he speed runs through them, making sure to send every bit of feeling through their link.

Steve in his Scoops outfit, luring Eddie to the mall but never making him brave enough to go in. The horror of not knowing whether Steve was alive or dead when he heard about the mall burning down. The joy of finding him at Family Video, somewhere he had reason to visit.

You never even talked to me there

Listening to every word to every story Henderson told him about Steve and his bravery. Pretending to be annoyed so no one noticed he was eating it up. Getting to know the real Steve over Spring Break, the giddiness he couldn't quite tamp down, even as he was scared shitless. The pain of knowing Steve was still in love with Nancy Wheeler, even though it was the obvious narrative to Steve's fairytale life. Of course he gets the girl at the end.

What? Is that why you-

The way he stuck around afterward, even though their dynamic was more antagonistic than friendly, and the way Eddie thrived off of every snarky comment. How it felt like banter even though Eddie knew, by all logic and reason, Steve was merely tolerating his presence. They would always be antithetical to each other, circling but never meeting.

Eddie, no

Steve growling ‘Do you ever shut up!’ before pouncing on him downstairs. The heavy pounding of his heart as he wrestled Steve up the stairs. The way his brain never did catch up to what was happening or why, until it was too late, and he was ruining both the greatest sex he'd ever had and also the chance to prove, though he's still completely unworthy, that he has already been primed and ready to fall for Steve for years. The shame of ruining it. The heartbreak of ruining it. The teeny, tiny spark of hope as Steve stares him down. He has to close his eyes to avoid it, lest he say something stupid and fuck it up again.

You…do like me?

Yeah, Stevie. I like you a whole lot. I just didn't think I was allowed to like you. I didn't realize you liked me too. I'm sorry I said all that shit earlier. I didn't want to tell the guy I'd just linked with that I was thoroughly enjoying the chance to sleep with this guy I'd had a crush on for years. That seemed rude

The bed dips and so does Eddie's stomach. Steve's enormous hands slide up his neck, into his hair, and gently cradle his face as he leans in to kiss Eddie square on the mouth.

Oh. Hi

Hi

This is nice

I think so too. How do you feel about finishing what we started but this time we both know that we like each other?

That sounds awesome. But are you sure? I really, really fucked up the first time

I thought you were perfect up until you called me your arch nemesis

I have been told that sometimes I'm a little dramatic

You know what, that's fair. I really should've taken that as a compliment, if anything

See? Now you get it

What I'm getting is another condom. Hold my ankle so I don't slide off the bed

You got it, baby

Unbelievable. Salvaged the wreckage of his own stupidity and managed to bag the hottest guy in town! Score one for the nerds!

“I heard that.”

[charcubed]

Okay in the genuinely least shady way possible and not trying to start a debate here: I understand the wider point OP is making but I also, personally, feel insane when I see posts about this topic phrased in this way lmaaaoooo

“queerbait tv”

???????

What, supposedly, was “queerbait TV”?

[Rhetorical question. I can rattle off the list of shows people would probably reply with, and yet I'd also probably insist that each of them is vastly different and should be viewed through a unique lens rather than compared to the others because no 2 situations are alike]

Because what this post is describing (and what some people are even understanding in the notes of it) is subtext. These discussions are often really about subtext and queercoding and thematically compelling narratives!! That’s what’s described here and it’s what people – or at the very least me personally – desperately crave!!

And look, I’m obviously not saying that advocating for gay people being openly explicitly represented on TV was or is a bad thing. Of course that’s important, whether the gay people are going on healthy dates or killing for each other lmao.

But for God's sake... this is why my repetitive rant and personal hot take is that we need to abolish the word "queerbaiting." It's done so much damage in this regard and it doesn't even fucking mean anything of consistent substance or value at this point, if it ever properly did. Once upon a time and only briefly, "queerbaiting" was intended as an accusation that corporate marketing and false advertising were deliberately being used with the intent to increase viewership of a show with no explicit follow-through or validation of queerness within the story itself. It was a type of pinkwashing for ads about TV shows – something that was actually pretty rare in the grand scheme, to be honest – not about the writing or execution of a story itself. But that potential meaning for a very specific thing quickly became entirely lost, and now the use of the word "queerbaiting" is literally just about vibes. You'd be hard-presssed to get even 10 random people to define it the same way. And more often than not, using "queerbaiting" is about derogatory vibes specifically thrown in the direction of devaluing subtext or deriding creators for whatever a fan personally considers to be a failure, disappointment, subtlety (or even too-slow burn) in a story's writing.

[Btw OP, if you're reading this, I'm really not trying to make an aggressive accusatory example out of your singular use of the word here lmao. I apologize if it feels that way. I'm working up to a point]

At the end of the day, so much of these recent takes about boring gay people on TV or ~queerbait hits harder~ route back to how, in the (still worthwhile!) pursuit of explicit representation and the implicit assumption that it's always the Best, somewhere along the way people got it in their brains that subtext and queercoding deserved vilification as the Worst. And that became the loud and prevailing opinion. Of course a lot of that also stems from personal hurt, anger, or disappointment by past TV shows which is all obviously understandable... but that's why people cling to the simplicity of the word “queerbaiting” as an umbrella anytime something's upsetting, and the accusation is often hurled with misplaced ire at creators.

Ultimately in some ways the concept of subtext became synonymous with "not good enough," and in other ways it came to be seen as something cowardly or malicious that creators put into stories to tease, bait, and disappoint fans. Nuance got lost, as well as the understanding that subtext/queercoding exist at all because they're tools used to tell (or enrich!) stories despite interference, constraints, and censorship – obstacles which have never fully gone away.

So we've ended up here: the need for whatever constitutes Good Representation – an endlessly shifting goalpost – and room for little else. The fear of all the ways stories can hurt and the advocacy for avoiding that hypothetical or potential hurt. The "all or nothing" mentally where if a ship isn't canon in the way someone personally deems acceptable – or in a way where every straight person on the planet will miraculously, mythically accept it's queer – then the story has Caused Harm and therefore doesn't have much value or can't be queer. And the overall cultural framing that subtext only exists when creators are too cowardly to do something more, rather than possibly as a creative choice to add complexities or a byproduct of censorship or both.

I find it all pretty fucked and exhausting to witness.

So, judging by [gestures broardly] the hamster wheel of bullshit out there and specifically the high note count on this post...

Here's where I land, as always:

I truly believe so many people and fandoms would free themselves if they realized that “queerbaiting” as a term is mostly bullshit, and as a concept the fear of Being Baited often robs people of finding joy and meaning in stories on their own merit. And I think they'd also free themselves a bit if they learned, understood, and acknowledged that subtext and queercoding are forms of canon. They're canon and they "count." Explicit queer storytelling is important for all the reasons we all implicitly know and understand, and of course we want to see sweeping epic character arcs reach the natural loudly queer conclusions we and the characters often deserve. But even if a story doesn't have that or get that, if you see and understand it's queer, that's still enough in its own way. It still has value, and you don't need permission or validation from anyone else to maintain that to yourself or to others.

Final apology to OP for hijacking their post. And maybe the TL;DR is I genuinely am "advocating for a return to queerbait TV" – or rather the sorts of storytelling and subtext people too often derogatorily slap with the "bait" label, past or present. Maybe people should think a little more about how stories like that were and still are good as well as often legitimately queer... and examine why there's often an implication that they're somehow not.

I am genuinely not advocating for a return to queerbait tv, I was vocally against it the whole time it was happening that was like my whole shtick for a while but it is kind of wild that when gay people weren’t allowed on tv, gay characters (who weren’t allowed to be gay) would be drinking poison for each other and killing bad guys for each other romantically and offering to go to prison in each other’s place and now that we are allowed to have gay people on tv…gay people will just be having a healthy conversation and going going on a date like normal people. Get OUT of my face with that

[insomniadreamzz]

Okay, you asked for freaky shit.

What about Jinx being totally in love and obsessed with fem. Reader secretly loves Jinx as well, but is dating Vi and feels a commitment to her.

Maybe one day Jinx sees Vi and fem kissing and she can’t take it anymore and loses her shit!

She goes back to her hideout and invents a serum that will make fem love her!

Ends with some rough smut 🤭

Idk if this is too dark and freaky 😅 but..…. ummm…… yeah bye

Oop I love dark and freaky stuff so here we go 👀

Jinx xFem!Reader plus little VixFem!Reader for the plot

Mentions of angst, smut, kidnapping, forced love, rough smut, blood, knife play

———

You are mine and only mine

You knew Vi and her sister Jinx for a while now. It’s hard not to since they were pretty popular in Zaun. Everyone knew them but not only in positive ways. Vi gets into fights with others, especially in the Last Drop, her temper was thin and if someone was talking shit about the ones she loved she just had to show them a lesson. Or she just gets provoked by Sevika which was enough to cause a fight with those two. Jinx on the other hand was known for her chaos. Blowing up stuff especially in Piltover and stealing stuff. When Jinx wanted something she will get it and she won’t hesitate at all, using everything she could to achieve her goal.

Even though they were sisters, they always mocked each other and didn’t really have a healthy sister relationship caused by certain events in the past.

You and Vi had a relationship going on but you couldn’t ignore the fact that Jinx began to like you as well. Whenever Vi wasn’t with you, Jinx tried to talk to you and gave you obvious signs that she had a crush on you. Besides being very chaotic and deadly dangerous Jinx was beautiful, her smile always did something to you, you hated it but you couldn’t control what you felt whenever she smiled at you. Slowly you started having a crush on Jinx as well but you weren’t the type of person to cheat. Especially not because you alresdy were engaged to Vi.

„Hey Toots!“ Jinx caught you in the Last Drop hanging out without Vi and of course she took the chance to talk to you. She was always like the wind, appearing out of nowhere as she suddenly sat beside you. The usual happy smile on her face which made your heart do a flip but you ignored your feelings at this point. „Oh hey Jinx.“ You answered, turning on your seat. „What ya doin here? Aren’t you supposed to be with Vi?“ She asked and you just nod your head in response. „Yes she will join me soon.“ You answered her and her pink eyes traveled down to your finger, seeing a ring on it which made her bite her own lower lip, you noticing she didn’t like it at all, knowing what it meant. „Is that from Vi?“ She asked with a more lower tone, her usual quirky voice changing abruptly. Your gaze went down to look at the ring, forcing a smile on your face. „Yes. Me and Vi are engaged.“ You said and Jinx‘s facial expression dropped, making you worry she would flip but she stayed calm which surprised you as she forced a grin on her face but she looked more creepy than anything else. „O-Oh? I didn’t know. Congrats.“ Her voice being a little shaky, she wanted to scream. You on the other hand didn’t know what to answer and luckily Vi appeared, finally joining you as she hugged you from behind. „Hey my beautiful girl“ She said and you turned to your fiancé, Vi leaning down to press a kiss on your lips, right in front of Jinx.

The blue haired woman bit the inside of her cheek hard, tasting her own blood. She was boiling inside, standing up from her seat. „I will give you more privacy. Have fun.“ She spat out her words disgustedly, leaving the last drop with rage inside of her, leaving you and Vi alone.

Jinx paced around in her hideout, mumbling various things to herself, her usual insane behavior. „They are engaged…she is mine though…Vi must have manipulated her…there is no way she doesn’t love me back.“

‚You aren’t good enough for her‘ She heard the voice in her head and that made her snap. „SHUT UP!“ She screamed as she threw a few of her tools off her table in rage, a little insane chuckle escaping her lips. „Oh no…no she is mine. MINE!“ She yelled once again, her gaze moving to a piece of paper on her table which she wrote down a plan to get you to love her. A plan for inventing a serum which was like a love potion. She wanted to do this a long time ago but she hesitated…long enough. Now it’s not too late, you are only engaged, she can still do something about it. Her fingers digging on the table as she looked down at the piece of paper, a few tear drops falling on it, her body shaking of rage. „Sorry sis…but you are engaged with my girl…I won’t let you marry her.“ She talked to herself before sitting down on her chair and started to work on her plan.

You were walking along the streets of Zaun alone, Vi was on a mission up in Piltover so you got bored and just wanted to take a walk which will turn out to be a huge mistake. Generally Zaun wasn’t the most save place to walk around, all those shimmer addicts hanging out in the dark corners of the streets, begging to get some of it. You were used to it though, not paying attention to their pleas. Suddenly something hard hit your head, making you whine in pain and made you black out in seconds as you fell to the ground.

The pain in your head got worse, your vision blurry as you opened your eyes to find yourself tied up on a chair, as your vision got a little more clear you noticed your surroundings being not familiar to you but the graffities drawn everywhere where familiar to you. Tools everywhere, creepy self made dolls of people you didn’t recognize hanging around and a lot of weapons. Some finished some halfway finished. You took in a familiar scent as you heard footsteps getting closer to you from behind and soon the person stood in front of you, looking down at you with a dark smile. „Look who is awake.“ Jinx said as she then placed herself on your lap.

„J-Jinx?? Why did you do this??“ You asked and she just chuckled as she wiped the blood coming from the wound of your forehead. „Because I love you. Isn’t that obvious?“ She cooed and you furrowed your eyebrows, not really understanding her. „You kidnap me because you love me? That’s a weird way of showing love don’t you think?“ You couldn’t believe she really did that, you knew she was crazy but that still surprised you. „I just saved you from doing the biggest mistake of your life. Marrying the wrong person.“

Your eyes widened in shock, she really went this far because of jealousy? „I love Vi!“ You said, making Jinx roll her eyes in response. „Uh huh…sure you do. And why did you always look at me with that intense gaze when she isn’t around? Come on don’t lie to yourself toots, you love me.“ She said and you knew she wasn’t wrong. You had a crush on Jinx as well but you were promised to someone else and breaking Vi‘s heart is not what you wanted to do. Stupid of you to marry her even though you didn’t love her to only not break her heart.

„So…are you still going to lie directly into my face? Or will you finally tell me about your true feelings?? Because I really don’t want to hurt you baby.“ She tried to give you a last chance but you just couldn’t. You promised Vi to be hers and forever hers so you refused to say anything, moving your face away when Jinx tried to kiss you, making her groan in frustration. „Ugh…you really are hard to convince aren’t you? Well then let’s go the painful path.“

Jinx didn’t hesitate as she rammed a needle into your neck, making you yelp at the sudden pain, you could feel she injected something into you but since your hands were tied behind your back you couldn’t push her off no matter how much you squirmed. Your body started to feel hot as you panted, feeling your limbs getting numb and slowly losing your vision again, Jinx holding you close as she whispered softly to you. „Shh…it’s gonna be alright. I know it hurts but the pain will go away and we will be together forever…you are mine and I won’t let you go ever…“

Your dizziness fading, eyes opening as you looked into Jinx’s eyes and when you looked at her beautiful face you felt so in love, more like you ever loved someone before. The memories of you and Vi together fading. She caressed your face with her cold fingers, admiring the look on your face, looking into your with love filled eyes, showing she succeeded. „You belong to me…“ She mumbled and you smiled, her words suddenly meaning so much to you. „Of course I am..“ You answered and that made her realize she really succeeded this time with her invention, looking like she was about to cry as she crashed her lips against yours, finally kissing you, feeling your warm lips on hers. She hummed softly into the kiss. „Mhh…this is all I ever wanted…“ She cooed before connecting your lips again. You kissed each other passionately, your tongues fighting with dominance as you both felt aroused, soft moaning escaping both of your lips into the kiss.

With a swift movement Jinx cut the rope with a knife which held your hands tied together. Once your hands were free they traveled up and down her body, sending shivers down the blue haired girls body, making her bite her lower lip before she looked at you with a smirk, the tip of her knive pointing against your throat. „I will make you never forget this…and never forget who you belong to.“ She said before dragging you to her couch, throwing down all of things on it which would only disturb you so you have enough space. As soon as you laid on your back she removed all of your clothes, looking at your exposed body like a predator would look at it’s prey. „What you waiting for love? Make me never forget this.“ You said, really wanting this and you calling her love made Jinx‘s heart skip a beat. She wanted this for so long, hearing you call her names, touching your body, hearing you moan.

„Impatient aren’t we?“ She chuckled before leaning down to place kisses on your neck, making you gasp at how rough they were, feeling her teeth bite at your skin, leaving marks everywhere around your neck and chest. But there was still something that Junx didn’t like on you, the ring. When she leaned up once again to look at your weak expression, seeing how your chest already rose up and down in excitement she took your hand in hers, removing the ring from your finger and throwing it across the room. „Now we can continue.“ She mentioned before running the blade of her knife gently down along your stomach, seeing your body tensing up before she stopped the blade right above your pussy.

„Tell me you love me.“ She demanded as she poked the tip of her knife into your flesh, threatening you but you didn’t have anything to worry about since you obeyed. She would probaby hurt you with the knife if you refused but you were drunk in love with her. „I love you, only you.“ You answered and she finally knew this is real, tossing the knife away before she went down on your body, getting her head between your thighs as she bit down on the soft flesh of your inner thighs, maybe a bit too harsh since she made it bleed, making you whimper at the playful pleasure, her tongue licking over the little wound, tasting your blood but there was something more she craved to taste for eternity. Her tongue gently licking along your wet slit, the moment her tongue reached for your clit you moaned softly. She was focused on fucking you with her mouth as she licked you harder like she was starving for it before kissing and sucking your clit, tongue slipping inside of you, making you moan louder as you threw your head back, squirming under her which made Jinx pull back, her needy gaze driving you crazy. „Just wait for a little more baby, I want us to come together.“ She mentioned before sitting up, taking off her clothes now, exposing herself now to you. You never saw someone this beautiful, she was just a goddess in your eyes, wanting to touch her so bad. „You are gorgeous my love…“ You whispered loud enough for her to her, a little blush appearing on her face but she never lost her dominance. „My love…that sounds beautiful…that’s what I wanted“ She talked to herself but you didn’t mind it, letting her continue as she got on top of you, slowly grinding her wetness against yours, making both of you whine softly at the good feeling. Jinx pulled you up to her, kissing you as both of you were grinding against each other, filling the room up with wet needy sounds, going almost crazy whenever your clit is rubbing against hers. The only thing that could be heard of you were needy muffled moaning sounds as you fucked each other like that, not wanting to leave the kiss.

Only when you both were close to cum, your lips parted as you moaned out. „F-Fuck!…m…cumming…!“ She whined before you came on esch other, your bodies trembling before collapsing on each other.

You laid in each others arms, cuddling for a while before Jinx got her usual attitude back, grinning as she looked down at you. „Heh…I got something way better for you.“ She mentioned before leaning to the side, getting something which looked like a ring she made herself with her name engraved on it. She didn’t even ask you as she slipped it on your finger. „Now you‘re my fiancee. We are going to marry and be happy forever.“ She just decided herself but you were so addicted to her by the serum she injected in you, not caring about anything else in this moment. „Of course we will stay forever. I can’t wait to marry you. I love you Jinx.“ You said before kissing her and she kissed you back, so in love with you and she will make sure no one will take you from her.

[iloveazzifudd35]

Shower Thoughts

okay I did another!! I actually really enjoy this so give me suggestions for more or things I can improve on!! 4.4k

themes: friends to lovers kinda they already lovers / angst

tw: smut they get a lil freaky like face sitting 😺sry got carried away ig

Convincing Azzi to come to UConn came with a price. If she came to UConn, they would not be able to date. 

It was obvious both girls had feelings deeper than just those of best friends to anyone who knew them. But being teammates and all would mean that they couldn’t date in case they broke up and jeopardize the team's chemistry. 

Paige and Azzi were not worried about breaking up in the slightest. They were 3 years strong at this point and even after having a more open relationship that allowed them to see other people they always came back to each other causing them to tie it off. But now, they are back where they started. 

At first having Azzi at the same school as her was worth it even if they couldn’t date. But she didn’t realize just how hard it would be to hide it until the time came. 

Geno had set a rule that most of the other college coaches agreed with. Teammates couldn’t date. It was a pretty common sense rule, unless if you were fucking gay and paige bueckers and Azzi fudd. 

Of course this would affect them. 

They decided it wouldn’t be that hard to hide it would be fine, no one would realize it. But they realized they would have to go a lot longer without touching each other and being together than they thought, so they vowed to not make it official until at least Paige's senior year so Geno couldn’t complain about them causing problems, even though they knew nothing would happen.

This would be a lot harder than they anticipated. 

—-

They didn’t room together, so it was already bad enough not getting to see each other at nights. 

Paige found herself lying awake at night Azzi’s profile the closest she could get to her

—-

Me: I’m gonna murder Geno for this istg😩

I miss u 

Az: you saw me literally 30 minutes ago not even p 😂

Me: I don’t care it’s not enough I miss touching u and sleeping next to u and smelling ur hair. 

Az: maybe next tournament we will get roomed together 🤷‍♀️ 

I miss u too tho

Wanna get food in the morning? 

Me: can’t 

 I have to meet with the trainer earlier  

Az: damn really putting in the extra reps huh 

Me: yuh tryna be like u what can I say 😁

Az: fuck 

I really do miss u 

Me: we will get through it together

It will be worth the wait trust

…

I’ll do u right Az dw 

—-

In addition to the pause on the relationship, they decided to pause having sex until they had a break to go back home. They weren’t freaks or anything- kinda- but going months without it was harder than they thought. 

So far they were holding strong. 

—-

The next morning Azzi was slow to get up.

The sun was blasting in through the windows. When she slept with Paige, there was always a blanket covering the gaps so no sun could sneak through the creases. 

But Azzi was not with Paige.

She hadn’t been for a while, or at least since the summer break. It was now November just 4 games into their season and they would have to wait all the way until Christmas break to sneak a sleepover without raising questions from their nosy teammates. 

You weren’t allowed to sleep in another dorm, it was just a college rule. No one checked up on it, but Azzi and Paige were still under class man so they didn’t have their own dorms yet, meaning not only did they stay in the suite with the rest of their teammates, but also shared a bedroom- Azzi with Caroline and Paige with Ice- meaning they had no way of getting a secret sleepover-their was simply no room. 

Azzi was annoyed when she woke up this morning. The sun was too bright, and Paige was busy. 

She glanced over at Caroline who was still asleep, looking at her phone. It was only 8 o’clock. They had practice at 1 and the weight room after. Azzi only had one class this morning at 11. 

3 hours. She had hoped she would get to spend with Paige, but for some reason Paige had decided to go meet with a special trainer to help her go over some new skills at like 5 in the morning.

Azzi rolled out of bed quietly walking to the bathroom to get herself ready. 

About an hour later she was about to get coffee herself when she got a text from Paige. 

—-

P: hey Az can u pick me up? 

Me: I thought you drove? 

How did u get there?

P: I’m not at the trainers anymore, I’m at the hospital. 

—-

Azzi froze, she felt her stomach drop all the way down to the floor. 

She felt sick. Her fingers hovering over the keyboard.

—-

P: I can’t drive cuz I broke my foot landing wrong on a layup 

Me: PAIGE WHAT???

ARE YOU SERIOUS ROGHT NOW?? 

GENO IS GOING TO KILL YOU

ARE YOU OKAY??

R U ON CRUTCHES????

CAN U WALK HOW BAD IS IT??

P: Azzi it’s okay I just need you to pick me up I have already talked to Geno don’t worry about me. 

Me: I’m on my way don’t move

P: yup don’t have to worry about that 😀 👍 

—- 

Azzi’s heart was in her stomach, they had only played 4 games together so far. Azzi came not just for Paige but to play with her. Their chemistry on the court was undeniable and was a big reason why they were doing so well. Without Paige there was no telling of how successful they would be as a team. 

As Azzi drove she couldn’t help the nagging guilt in her. She should have gone with her to practice this morning. She should have stopped her from overworking herself. 

She has been working so hard to make sure she is in the best shape, but it’s also because she can’t be with Azzi, working out is the only thing that gets her mind off of it. So Azzi couldn’t help but feel partially responsible. 

The guilt was also accompanied by pity. She knew how much Paige loved basketball, it was her whole life, and this was her first serious injury. 

When Azzi had torn her ACL in 2018, Paige had been the first one to protect her and take care of her, now it was Azzi’s turn. 

—-

Although Paige was upset and frustrated with herself she knew it wasn’t the worst case scenario. After watching Azzi go through the entire ACL tear and watching her resilience as she returned to the court, she had full belief that this would not be the end for her. 

The second she fell she thought of Azzi. Paige knew that Azzi would feel guilty for not being there. Paige knew that she pushed herself too hard. Paige felt this level of guilt when Azzi got hurt. Azzi shares a part of her heart and she knew that if Paige got hurt she would feel it too. 

When the doctor told her it was a minor fracture in her medial talus she was freaked out for sure, but remembering the look on Azzi’s face when the orthopedist told her she would be out for a year max and need surgery, she felt surprisingly grateful. 

She wasn’t expecting this reaction from herself. But knowing she would be back in as early as 2 months made her feel lucky more than anything. 

All she was worried about was Azzi. Sure it would be a setback. But she remembered what Azzi had told her after her knee surgery. 

“A setback is only a failure if you let it stop you from working hard.” 

And as Paige watched Azzi work tirelessly for those 12 months, she knew what the word resilience meant for the first time.

—- 

Azzi slammed the door of her car, racing into the building to find Paige.

When she saw her big blue eyes rimmed red and puffy from crying her own began to water. She quickly hurried over to her wrapping her arms around her. Looking down at her foot in its cast. 

“Oh my god Paige what did you do?” She says laughing out of shock with an obvious pain that showed Paige exactly how she felt. 

“I’m okay Azzi honestly, it’s just a minor fracture I’m only going to be out for a couple months.” Paige said squeezing her shoulder

Azzi reached out, touching the hard cast. 

“But you have been working so hard. We only just started.” Azzi said against her shoulder. 

“Exactly . We have so much time together it’s okay. It’s just a minor setback, but after watching you recover and work so hard- maybe I needed this- maybe I needed this setback to put in perspective how much this really means to me.” Paige paused, pulling Azzi away from her grasp to look her in the eye. 

“ I believe everything happens for a reason. Maybe it isn’t clear now, but I’m sure it will be soon. Who knows maybe I’ll have the comeback of the year or something.” Paige said with a laugh. 

Azzi felt a little better hearing her laugh and seeing a smile on her beautiful face. 

“Are you sure you’re okay? Does it hurt.” Azzi said worriedly, helping her to her feet and grabbing her some crutches. 

“Nah I’m okay don’t worry it only hurts a little.” Paige said wincing as she steadied herself, her face saying another story. 

Azzi gave her a knowing look and made her sit down.

Grabbing her crutches and helping her hobble over to her car. 

“I’m gonna pick up your car later okay?” Azzi said looking at Paige all comfy in her front seat, she always kept a blanket there, claiming it was in case she got cold, but paige was the only one who ever used it. 

“No, don’t leave. I want you to stay with me. Just today.” Paige pleaded, widening her eyes and fluttering her eyelashes. 

Azzi sighed. There was no arguing with her. 

As they pulled into their suite, the rest of the team was already there worried for her, including both Geno and CD and one of the athletic trainers. 

They spent about 45 minutes going over Paige's injury and talking about resilience and comeback and what not. 

Azzi ended up finding her unicorn arm cushions from when she tore her ACL and set Paige up with a nice comfy system. 

“Alright now for Paige’s sake I need someone to take good care of her while she is hurt.”  Geno started, looking around the room.

—

There were 4 suites for the team, 2 rooms in each one. The three were upstairs except for the one Azzi, Caroline, Amari, and Aubrey shared. 

—

“Ok Paige since you obviously won’t be going up the stairs for a little while, why don’t you stay down here and swap rooms with Caroline for the time being.” Geno continued. 

Paige and Azzi looked at each other. This would be the first time they slept in the same room since August. 

Paige couldn’t hide the smile that started curling on her lips, noticing Azzi having the same reaction. 

As everyone started to roll out of the room, one of the trainers paused. 

“Paige by the way, whatever you do u cannot get that cast wet. And you are going to have to get a bucket or something so you can sit in the shower. I’d recommend you get a teammate to help you clean yourself. You’re both girls, it's fine.” She said as she walked out the door. 

“Uhm so who’s going to literally shower paige.”  Aubrey said laughing. 

“I mean I guess it might make most sense for Azzi too since we are rooming…” Paige trailed off trying to hide her excitement of finally feeling Azzi’s soft fingers on her skin after all this time. 

“Wow, seems like someone knows exactly what she wants, I guess it’s settled, good luck Azzi…. And you should probably get on that cuz paige u smell like ass- must’ve been a good workout.” Amari chimed in laughing as Paige’s face turned bright red. 

Paige glanced at Azzi and watched as her lips twisted into a smirk 

“I have class in an hour but I guess if we make it quick.” Azzi said, looking  Paige up and down. 

Aubrey and Amari were completely clueless to the shift in the air. Paige on the other hand felt a warm sensation in her stomach as her panties dampened under Azzi’s intense stare. 

15 minutes later they were alone in the bathroom. The suite was empty except for them.

No one really suspected anything, if anything they felt bad for Paige having to be exposed like this. Paige on the other hand was both eager and nervous to be alone-naked with Azzi again.

Azzi locked the bathroom door.

“I feel like you got injured on purpose just so I would have to touch your naked body.” Azzi scoffed, creeping up to her. 

Paige had crutches into the bathroom and sat on the closed toilet as Azzi moved her crutches and set up a plastic crate in the shower for Paige to sit on. 

Paige's breath hitched as Azzi walked towards her placing her fingers on her shoulders running them up and down her arms. 

Paige looked up at her with needy eyes. 

“Missed you so bad.” She said taking in Azzi in front of her. 

“I can tell.” Azzi laughed watching the way her body flinched under her touch. 

Azzi leaned in and started to unzip her hoodie.

“I have missed you too.” Azzi whispered into her ear, pressing her lips against it as she slid her hoodie off her shoulders. 

Paige whined craving more, helping pull her arms out of the holes. 

“So much for not fucking while we are on campus.” Paige said in between breaths. 

“Who said we were gonna fuck?” Azzi questioned, teasingly laughing as Paige pouted.

“What? I'm just following the trainers orders, nothing wrong with this baby.” Azzi continued as she guided Paige to lift her arms, raising her shirt over her head.

Azzi’s eyes flicked over her abs, watching as Paige's nipples poked through her sports bra under her gaze. Azzi ran her fingers over the sports bra paying special attention to them through the cloth. 

“You didn’t hurt your arms, you know.” Azzi noted, as Paige raised her arms again, wanting Azzi to take off her other layer as she felt the heat throbbing in her pants. 

“Azzi come on. I’m crippled.” Paige whines. 

Azzi rolls her eyes dramatically, wrapping her fingers around the band of her sports bra and making a show as she takes it off of her, revealing Paige's breasts and pink nipples all hard for her. 

Azzi’s breath hitched as she saw her beautiful girl in front of her naked and on display for the first time in months. 

She wanted nothing more than to latch her mouth and rub her hands all over her nipples, but seeing Paige cocky smirk at her reaction made her want to make Paige beg for it. 

Azzi couldn’t deny how hot this side of Paige was, this desperately submissive side she had been hiding, she wasn’t about to give in just yet, she wanted to make it last. 

Paige huffed as Azzi moved down to her pants, ignoring her pink nipples longing to be sucked, and going straight to work.

Azzi looked up at Paige's desperation-filled eyes and wrapped her fingers around her pants. Paige lifted her ass clawing at Azzi’s back for support as Azzi slid them down her legs slowly paying extra careful attention to her hurt foot. 

Paige closed her legs embarrassed about how wet she was. 

She had thrown on grey Cotton panties so there was no doubt Azzi would see just how much Azzi was affecting her. 

Azzi looked at her with a smirk as she pulled her legs apart, her smirk growing as she saw the pool of wetness that had accumulated in her panties.

“Aw Paigey you’re soaked.” Azzi said teasingly as Paige's face grew red turning away from her, refusing to make eye contact with her. 

“I want you to look at me when I touch you.” Azzi said dominantly running her fingers along the waistband of her panties outlining the seam all the way down to the bottom of her ass. 

Paige shuttered, returning her glance to Azzi melting under her dominant brown eyes that would make her instantly release. 

Azzi ran her hands over Paige's face, pulling some of her blonde hair out of the way and back into the messy bun she had in.

“Let’s get these off and get you cleaned up… you’re such a mess.” Azzi said seductively wrapping her hands around the inner part of her panties brushing her fingers against Paige's folds. Paige let out a moan at the much needed contact. 

After her panties were removed and she was fully naked, Azzi helped her over to the shower, sitting her on the crate making sure her foot was still out of the way of the water.

Waiting no more time, Azzi grabbed a bottle of her soap- coconut and vanilla- the one that Paige would never stop smelling whenever she had it on, and began to massage it into her skin starting by standing behind her and rubbing it into her shoulders and back.

After a few minutes. Paige was confused why it was taking her so long, the need between her legs over powering her. 

“What are you doing?” Paige asked with a laugh as Azzi’s touch lingered against her back running up in back in a specific pattern 

“Writing my name.” Azzi responded simply, before leaning forward and clarifying, “I want you to know you’re mine.”

Paige let out a breathy moan at that, and shivered as Azzi, who was still standing outside of the shower, wrapped her arms from the back to the front of Paige's body blindly kneading her tits, rolling her nipples around in her fingers. 

“Just making sure I don’t miss a spot. Wanna make sure my pretty girl is done right.” Azzi said as Paige's breathing sped up. 

Azzi twists the bucket slightly so Paige is now facing her. She begins to spread the soap down, rubbing it into her lower stomach and passing the place Paige was craving to be touched.

Azzi rubbed her exposed foot and worked her way up massaging her calf and thigh slowly getting higher and higher on her thigh until she reached  her pussy. 

Mixing in some of the water Azzi began to move her hand closer to Paige's pussy, lightly brushing past her clit as she let the water wash off the soap. 

Paige moaned as the water pounded down on her clit, Azzi methodically worked the head of the shower so that it was lingering on her pussy, the warm water hitting her clit just where she needed it. 

Paige moaned at the contact and Azzi could no longer hold back any longer. She placed down the shower head back on the stand and she ran her fingers over paige’s pussy. 

“Need me bad huh.” Azzi whispered, staring at her pussy… 

Paige nodded desperately, thrusting her hips up balancing on her good leg, needing Azzi to apply contact. 

“Relax baby. Let me do the work.” Azzi said as Paige whined. 

She shoved Paige's hips back onto the bucket and began to run her fingers through her folds, rubbing small tight circles on her swollen clit. 

“You don’t know how much I have missed your beautiful pussy.” Azzi said, looking up at Paige as she thrusted 3 fingers inside her immediately, not giving her even a second to adjust to the stretch inside her. 

Paige yelped at the sudden feeling of Azzi inside of her that she had been craving for months. 

“oh god don’t stop baby.” Paige moaned, pulling Azzi closer to her, forcing her fingers deeper in until they hit her g spot. 

Azzi continued pounding into her curling her fingers upwards exploring Paige's cervix with her fingers while continuing to pound into her. 

Paige leaned up against the wall of the shower pulling Azzi towards her flexing her thighs as she began to feel her stomach tighten. 

“So close oh my god Azzi. Please.” 

Azzi, feeling her walls tighten, continued pounding into her, pressing on her lower stomach causing Paige to unravel underneath her. 

“Azzi oh god I’m coming.” Paige shouted as she moaned her wetness gushing out of her as Azzi rode out her high. 

Once Paige was just a pile of moans Azzi pulled her fingers out of her and popped them into her own mouth savoring her taste and making a show of herself sucking on them, refusing to make eye contact with paige.

Paige grabbed her by the hair forcing her tongue into her mouth moaning as she tasted herself in her mouth. 

“It’s not fair I’m the only one with no clothes on.” Paige noted, annoyed that she hadn’t gotten to see Azzi’s beautiful body yet. 

“Patience p.” Azzi said with a wink as she got up and grabbed a towel wiping off the rest of the water off of Paige's body.

She helped Paige hobble back to her room and got her situated, making sure her foot was elevated and she had plenty of Advil. 

“I’m gonna go grab you something to eat, I have class in like 45 minutes so I can’t be long.” Azzi said, taking off her shirt to change.

“Wait ow it hurts.” Paige said calmly to not stress out Azzi. 

But Azzi being how she is rushed over to paige. 

“Are you okay, do u need another pillow, more Advil?” Azzi started questioning, but was interrupted when Paige pulled her onto her lap so Azzi was straddling her. 

“It’s not fair that I was the only one who got fucked today.” Paige said smirking as she ran her hand over Azzi’s breasts that were poking through her tank top. 

“No bra? It’s like ur asking for me to fuck you. How am I supposed to focus on resting when I can see your pretty nipples through your shirt.” Paige noted pulling the straps of Azzi’s tank top down.

“Paige you need to rest come on.” Azzi said, but her breath hitched despite her and she let out a soft moan as Paige pulled her shirt up revealing her nice tits. 

Without saying anything Paige began to rub them, pulling Azzi towards her and wrapping her lips around her nipple. She sucked watching as Azzi moaned into her. 

Azzi could feel the wetness that had already formed in her shorts from when she finger fucked paige minutes earlier. 

“I don’t want you to over do it.” Azzi said between moans as Paige's fingers trailed lower on her stomach. 

“How bout u sit on my face.” Paige said with a smirk as Azzi immediately went red. 

“I’m too heavy paige oh my god that’s no I don’t think-“ Azzi started protesting but paige grabbed her ass squeezing it tightly as she pushed Azzi up towards her mouth sitting her so her legs were on either side of her head. 

At this point Azzi was hovering over her in just her pink Nike shorts. Without another word Paige pulled her shorts to the side and pushed Azzi down on her tongue. 

Azzi let out a loud moan in shock at the sudden pressure. Paige's nose brushed her clit as she dipped her tongue in and out of Azzi.

Pulling it out she began to swirl it around her clit flicking it up and down against her. 

Paige grabbed Azzi’s ass, grinding her against her mouth tasting her wetness. 

“Missed this pussy- taste so good” paige said against her pussy. The vibrations of her voice overstimulate Azzi as she feels her climax start to close in.

“Feels so good.” Azzi moans “gonna come oh god.” Azzi feels herself try to pull away but paige’s strong hand keeps her tight on her face continuing to fuck her with her tongue.

“Look at me baby. You can come for me.” Paige says without stopping. 

Azzi meets her eyes and instantly crumbles under the dominance of the blue eyes. She started coming her white syrup pouring into Paige's mouth as Paige used her tongue to shovel every drop of it into her mouth. Savoring the taste of her. 

“You taste amazing. I have missed this.” Paige said happily looking at Azzi who was folded over on top of her. 

Azzi moved to the side to look into her beautiful blue eyes. Laughing as she sees some of her come on her nose. She kisses it off smiling.

“To be honest I don’t think I can not do this for another month.” Azzi said, running her hand lovingly over Paige's face. Ya I don’t think that’s gonna be a problem anymore, Paige said looking at her phone seeing a text from Aubrey.

—-

Aub: Can u guys shut the fuck up. Like my ears are bleeding 😀

It cannot be that good Azzi

whole new meaning to that 69 joke you made. 

U held out well I’ll give u that, guess I owe ice 50 bucks. 

—-

Paige laughed, turning back to Azzi, who looked a little nervous. 

“What if Geno finds out and gets bad at us.” Azzi starts. “I don’t want him worried that we are going to mess up the team if we break up.” 

Azzi said worriedly as she snuggled closer to paige. 

“Baby don’t worry, that’s not gonna happen, we won’t break up, can’t even go a month without you so trust when I say I could never live without you.” Paige said, reassuring her, and touching her now messy, curly hair. 

“You have girlfriend hair.” She laughed trying to pat it down for her. 

“Ughh paigeee.” Azzi whines, flattening it with her hands and shoving Paige back before snuggling up into her chest. 

“I love you P.” She says muffled by her chest.

“Love you too Az.” Paige replies wrapping her fingers in her hair pulling her closer to her heart where she will keep her forever. 

[dear-ao3]

welcome back. for the last time this year, it is race weekend. were in abu dhabi (part 1), the yas marina circuit. race 24 of 24. the finale of the longest season in f1 history. we’ve had seven different multi race winners, back markers on the podium, mid season retirements, community service penalties, disqualifications, black flags, race bans, crashes, rain, paddocks that smell like weed, the breaking of the monaco curse, stealing each other's taglines, first race wins, rivalries…you name it we’ve seen it. and more.

in the words of crofty: “if you havent been here all season, where have you been? you've missed an absolute thriller.”

the drivers championship, as we know, has already been squared away. but the all important battle for the constructors championship is still on. mclaren v ferrari. a tale as old as, well, time. schumacher v hakkinen. hamilton v massa. will the power of the lando and oscar friendship pull through? or will carlos and charles put aside their differences (that they may or may not have) long enough to snatch the constructors title away from them? and not only are they duking it out for the constructors, but lando and charles are also duking it out for p2 in the drivers championship. will lando hold his ground or will charles come at him with all the fury in the world and then some?

and we’ve also got alpine, haas and racing bulls fighting for p6 in the constructors, the eternal question of the red bull second seat, the v carb second seat and the all important query of Will Valtteri Score Points This Season? 

all (or at least most) will be answered tonight. 

its december 31, 2024 and i know its late but lets fucking go.

the week started off with none other than jack doohan being announced as making his debut in abu dhabi this very weekend. 

jack doohan, as we know, is the alpine reserve driver and has signed with the team for 2025. as we also know there was a rather nasty rumor circulating about him that he was going to lose his alpine seat that he hadnt even really sat in yet to one franco colapinto. alpine squashed this by announcing his driver number (7) but now that he is replacing esteban 1 race earlier than intended, there’s been some theories. 

officially the swap had something to do with esteban doing testing for haas and alpine decided that it would be better for them if jack drove the car in abu dhabi. this does of course sadly mean that he cannot wear his very cool send off helmet this weekend because he is not racing and i also think that he was not allowed to say goodbye to the team.

which is fucked up. he got an instagram post from alpine as a send off. and that was about it. 

sorry, lets rephrase this. esteban ocon has raced with alpine for the last five years. he is their only race winner under the name “alpine” (they had won races under their previous name, renault, but he is the only alpine winner) and they just said nope. fuck u actually. no race. heres a post instead.

this was esteban's reaction

and jack's reaction

and pierre even had some thoughts

but why did they do that? well. there is a theory that they are testing out jack as a driver in an f1 car before the end of the season so that they can decide whether or not they want to keep jack or take franco instead. im going to emphasize that this is a Theory and is not Confirmed. but it is still a Theory. 

alpine also took their end of season photos. and they got crashed by *checks notes* fred vasseur???

yeah, they didn't know either.

anyway. aside from that. we also had the f1 official account horrifically misspell oscars last name. and charles joined in on the fun.

worth pointing out, btw, that charles leclerc has had his name misspelled in every possible which way over the course of time. 

charles would also be doing the fp1 session with his brother arthur, who would be driving carlos’s ferrari. arthur is a test driver for ferrari or is part of the academy or something of that nature. and charles spent pretty much all of the media day session talking about how much he loves his brother and how excited he is that the two of them get to be on track at the same time together:

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and charles did whatever this was. some kind of water …. no not water sport. water activity. idk.

also having fun, or, well, maybe not actually, was valtteri bottas. poking fun at himself for still being the only driver currently driving on the grid this year to not score points.

and! speaking of drivers who didn't score points this year! logan sargeant! got signed! to a team! 

no, it was not indycar. it was the european le mans series. this could lead to a full time seat for him in the hyper car series in 2026. which is cool for him. 

also signing with hyper car was kevin magnussen. he signed with the bmw team. and there is lore here, apparently. because its racing. when isnt there weird lore. 

apparently, his new boss at bmw, a man named vincent vosse, saved him from drowning when he was 2. in a pool at vosse’s own house. according to one k mag: "He was in a suit, dressed up for some gala thing, and he jumped in the pool. Ruined his day! But hopefully I can make up for that now. The contact has always been there, l've known him always."

as we know, this race is the end of a lot of things. several people are leaving the grid after abu dhabi: kevin magnussen, valtteri bottas, zhou guanyu, maybe franco colapinto, maybe checo perez. and several people are changing teams. lewis hamilton is going to ferrari, esteban ocon is going to haas, nico hulkenberg is going to stake, carlos sainz is going to williams. i think that's it. i hope that's it. it seems like silly season has been sillier than that. 

in any case, there were many goodbyes to be had. 

starting with zhou and valtteri and their helmets. 

zhou’s helmet had a picture of him and valtteri on it, along with other pictures of special moments in his career as an f1 driver

and his caption of the picture on instagram said: ‘A special helmet with full of loved moments. It’s been a pleasure Valtteri Bottas, loved every highs & lows that we've been through over the last 3 years, one last dance with Stake F1 Team, let’s enjoy it.”

valtteri bottas’s helmet said “what’s next?” on it, still teasing the little branding hes done for teasing what is next in his career. that was an awful sentence, im sorry, but i am not changing it. 

and as an aside, the stake social media admin made valtteri and zhou certificates thanking them for participating in the insane social media posts of the year

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A post shared by Stake F1 Team KICK Sauber (@stakef1team)

charles did a special helmet for carlos that said “muchas gracias carlos” on it.

his instagram caption said “Special helmet for a special teammate ❤️ Thanks for these 4 years together. Let’s push to the max for that last weekend together.” and he was also clearly emotional about carlos leaving the team in his interviews

and carlos also ran a special helmet that showed his team highlights,

and he had a special race suit with the italian flag on it and smooth operator written on the leg.

and ferrari made a special poster of him for his last race.

kevin magnussen also had a helmet showing his highlights at haas. 

and he and nico also reminisced about their time as teammates

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and george did a special helmet for lewis with little cartoon pictures of them on the back and a real picture of george when he is a Child trying to get lewis’s autograph on the top with a “crazy how time flies”

george, in case you didn't know, is a massive lewis hamilton fan. so he was clearly feeling Feeling about lewis leaving the team. as evidenced not only by the helmet but also by this instagram post

and he also brought That Very Book that he was trying to get lewis to autograph in the picture to abu dhabi to get his autograph. and they did it on the fanstage.

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A post shared by Mercedes-AMG PETRONAS F1 Team (@mercedesamgf1)

lewis also naturally had a send off helmet as well. 

and he also changed his profile pictures to this picture from 2013.

as that was when he joined the team. he also reposted the picture on his instagram with the caption “First year. Last year. And all the memories in between.”

lewis leaving mercedes, in case it was already obvious enough, is a Big Fucking Deal. this is the longest time a driver has ever been with a team, (11 years) and it is widely regarded as the greatest partnership between a driver and a team Ever. so mercedes was expected to go all out for this send off, right?? 

well mercedes did a lot of things for this send off. like a way lot of things. one of them was this video

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 they posted this video that was essentially a thank you to lewis, montaging moments from his career highlights with mercedes (btw, lewis won 6 world champion titles with mercedes (and lost two by less than 20 points), helped the team win 8 constructors titles, and also has 84 race wins (someone edited it together here) with mercedes, not podiums. race wins. for context, if we compare this to michael schumacher’s career, he won 5 world championship titles with ferrari, helped the team win five constructors titles, and had 72 race wins with ferrari) inter cut with video footage of small lewis and other children of color and young girls essentially talking about how lewis was a trailblazer for the sport and helped pave a path for many people. and they tag line it with. 

“every dream needs a team.” 

the dream as in lewis’s dream to essentially be an f1 driver (i think?) or to win

(going to leave here that lewis didn't start at mercedes tho, he started at mclaren. and he also won his first world title with mclaren. don't worry, we’ll get back to the every dream needs a team thing In A Bit. it is a nice video though, it highlights how hes a good sportsman and also quite literally the greatest of all time. it was generally agreed upon though that the tag line was. odd.)

they put this tagline on lewis’s car this weekend as a graphic along with the names of 150 people who won the competition to have their name on the car

also with this video was some other tributing. i wont include all of them cause there were a lot and frankly, i also have a lot to talk about. but we had some good stuff.

pretty much though, every mercedes tribute seemed to include everyone Except for one nico rosberg (yea i know this is about lewis leaving mercedes, not about nico, however, as we have seen this year, you kinda cant really talk about one without talking about the other). but anyway, pretty much all of the photo collages left nico out (as we know lewis doesnt talk about him, maybe he asked for this, maybe not, whos to say. again this is where i say i don't think they owe eachother anything im just reporting the news) until mercedes decided to post this one: 

which, in terms of photos of nico and lewis to post. that ones more on the unhinged side of things. and if you're annoyed im talking about nico rosberg, well, stay annoyed i guess cause he pops up again shortly. unfortunately, you cant really talk about one without the other, as i have said.

aside from that, we had bono, lewis’s race engineer, talk about their partnership a little and about how grateful he is for it and how much fun it has been. as he says, most engineers only have one shot at working with a champion, he has had many many years

lewis took everyone on his side of the garage on hot laps around the track

lewis himself was pretty emotional about the whole thing. which is to be expected. hes been with mercedes for twelve very long and (mostly) very successful years. again, i remind you that lewis joined merc in 2013 (which everyone thought was a terrible idea btw) and then won the drivers championship in 2014, 2015, 2017, 2018, 2019 and 2020. the team won the constructors title in 2014, 2015, 2016, 2017, 2018, 2019, 2020 and 2021. that is a long time to be in a very competitive car. that's a lot of success. like, an unprecedented amount of success. 

this was a bit too long to transcribe, but he did talk a lot about what he was going to take with im as moments from the team in the press conference. (swipe to hear what he said)

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speaking about this year, he said that “its been an emotional year for me and i think ive not been at my best in the…in handling and dealing with those emotions. and i think this year, as so many of you have been here for my whole career so some of you all think you've all seen the worst of me and you've seen the best of me. and im not going to apologize for either because its..im only human and i don't always get it right. and i definitely would say this year has been one of the worst in terms of handling that from my side. which ill work on trying to be better at. but i hope the good and the highs far outweigh the negatives in how ive handled it or behaved and…and as i said i just remember the good times” 

after taking the team photo for the last time he said that “its hard to believe that was our last team photo together. weve had twelve amazing years together. and its hard to believe that that's our last photo that we’re going to take as a whole team, as a group. and its such an honor and a privilege i thik to look back when im sitting on the car, i look back and see everyones face, everyone that's been so hugely influential with the success that we’ve had over the years. had my back and supported me and hopefully vice versa, which is a really proud moment. that's pretty cool. its something that ill definitely cherish. i think the first and the last will be the two that i cherish the most.”

and not really a tribute. but speaking of the team photo, toto wolff was seen wearing not only a short sleeve shirt, but also doing a peace sign

so that was basically lewis’s side of the garage. lots of emotions and feelings and paying tribute and etc etc etc. 

so what was going on in george’s side of the garage?

complete and absolute chaos.

if you’ll remember. in qatar max essentially, for lack of better words, called george a two faced bitch because of george supposedly arguing with the fia to get max a 1 place grid penalty for going too slowly in qualifying. max got said penalty and was demoted from pole to second while george started on pole. i need to remind you all that 1. max had already won the world championship and 2. george was not even remotely in contention for the world championship and also mercedes and red bull are hardly rivals this season

if you’ll also remember, george did not say anything about said incident. mostly because max talked about it predominantly in the press conference which im pretty sure happens After all the media interviews? tho i could be wrong about that. regardless george didn't talk about it. 

until he decided to come out full guns blazing in abu dhabi. 

because this is formula 1. you really thought we were going to have a normal end to our incredibly insane season????

so. first. lets get a little refresher on what max actually said about the penalty situation after qatar *insert rewind noise here*

about the penalty, max said “I think I really spoke about valid reasons of what happened. And it was clear cut that around me there were different scenarios going on as well, with people having colder tyres and stuff so they had to push anyway, and I didn’t want to then cause a scene into a last corner, and then no one had a lap. So very, very surprising. i think we all here, we respect eachother a lot. and of course ive been in that meeting room many times in my life [with the stewards] and my career with people, you know, ive raced. and i’ve never seen someone trying to screw someone over that hard, and then for me i lost all the respect.

he also gestured towards charles when he talked about drivers that he respects, and charles was nearly giggling the whole time like he had tea we all didn't

and he also said, “actually, I just tried to be nice. So maybe I shouldn’t be nice. But the thing is that well, being nice, because at the end of the season, everything is more or less decided, for me especially, I didn’t want to screw anyone over to prepare their lap. And by doing that, being nice, basically you get a penalty. And that’s what I tried to explain as well. But I just felt like I was talking to a brick wall. So there’s not much that was possible, for whatever reason.” (which sounds hilariously like charles’s vegas radio but i digress)

later, max was asked if he was going to try and talk with george about the penalty and the incident with the stewards. 

here’s what he had to say about that. 

“not right now, but you know what it is? he always acts extremely polite in front of the cameras but if you sit together with him personally, he's a completely different person. i truly can't stand that. then you might as well fuck off, i don’t want anything to do with you.”

max was also backed up by christian horner, who said about george that “yesterday's penalty was more based on hysterics from George, who has been quite hysterical this weekend. There was a little bit of gamesmanship going on in that.”

(yes i did just copy and paste that from the qatar post. sue me i want to be done writing this) 

anyway, you’ll also remember (maybe) the article that i quoted talking about the penalty. *cue a second rewind noise*

it appeared that all of the drivers had been informed after sprint qualifying that any going slowly would be taken seriously, after yuki received a warning for just that. and one article reported that:

“at the bottom of their decision Warwick and his fellow stewards made a very important comment: ‘The stewards advise all competitors that particular attention will be paid to adherence to the event notes in the qualifying session and that any potentially dangerous behaviour or impeding may result in the application of grid penalties.’”

in addition, it was also reported by a journalist that the new race director does not take impeding lightly. 

“He [the race director] stated that if a car was going slow in a high-speed corner, it should not be on the racing line. The stewards regard this case as a complicated one in that clearly car 1 did not comply with the race director’s event notes and clearly was driving, in our determination, unnecessarily slowly considering the circumstances. It was obvious the driver of car 1 was attempting to cool his tyres. He also could see car 63 approaching as he looked in his mirror multiple times whilst on the small straight between Turns 11 and 12. They also made it clear that they had opted for a lesser penalty than they could have. Unusually, this incident occurred when neither car was on a push lap. Had car 63 been on a push lap, the penalty would have most likely been the usual three grid position penalty, however in mitigation of penalty, it was obvious that the driver of car 63 had clear visibility of Car 1 and that neither car was on a push lap.”

however. someone combed back through all going slowly/failing to follow race directors instructions infringements back to 2022 and found that max is the only one to have ever been given a grid penalty or penalty point for it. when looking at that stat though, keep in mind that theres different race directors making different decisions, the widely claimed “british bias” that the stewards have towards certain british drivers (which george btw doesnt seem to be included in) and also mitigating circumstances, not everything in this sport is clear cut. 

and finally, george had some comments about the whole ordeal, but not too many. which i speculated was because he didn't know exactly what max had said until After it had already been said which Likely would have been after george was done with his interviews. so he had relatively normal things to say:

*cue a third and hopefully final rewind noise*

“Yeah, to be honest, I was expecting a crash. But ultimately we [george and lewis] made it easy for him, because both Lewis and I made terrible starts. So it was a pretty simple overtake for him, which was a bit frustrating for us.”

he did say though that his concerns about a crash were not related to max’s comments. 

“We know Max is a fighter and is aggressive. I expect no different. I really wanted to go out there and fight with him today, like we could have done in the sprint.”

now. something i mentioned but somehow forgot to properly include in the last update was a brief clip from ted kravitz’s bit that he does at the end of the weekend called teds notebook where he goes over important stuff, gives opinions blah blah etc. anyway. i had referenced that one journalist heard that george and max had had words of some sort outside the stewards room, but not much beyond that. 

ted’s notebook from qatar went a little beyond that:

important to take away from this was that before the drivers parade in qatar there was some kind of Incident between max and george where max some something akin to “you and your fia mates, i hope you're happy with what you’ve done.” though apparently, also according to ted, it was “far ruder than that.” 

so. we were gearing up for Something. and Everyone was Wondering if Something was Going To Happen in abu dhabi. 

the f1 fans (or at least some of them) spent the week between qatar and abu dhabi speculating and there were takes in every which direction about who said what and how and when and whether or not max was telling the truth and ugh this is why no one likes george and blah blah blah (idk i avoided most of it)

and max was asked his opinion on the whole thing again at the press conference on media day. george had still yet to say anything and he was not at the press conference (its random who gets chosen week to week). but we did get max saying this about this comments last week (you know, the two faced comments):

"No regrets at all [about what he said about george], because I meant everything I said. And it is still the same, if I had to do it again maybe I would have said even more, knowing the outcome of the race itself. I still can't believe that someone can be like that in the stewards' room - to me, that is so unacceptable. We're all racing drivers and we all have a lot of respect for each other, we even play sports together, we travel together. Of course you have moments where you come together, crash or whatever and you're not happy. But in my whole career I've never experienced what I experienced in the stewards' room in Qatar and, for me, that was really unacceptable."

so max was not budging. and we were all waiting on george’s side of the story. and boy, did he deliver. 

before we get into this. a reminder to everyone that george doesnt usually get involved in stuff like this. he doesnt have many controversies, the most controversial thing in his career is probably that time in imola in 2021 where he smacked bottas on the helmet after the two of them were in a pretty big crash and battling eachother for a seat at mercedes.

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but he was effectively bullied off the internet several years ago for death threats (i think around the mercedes seat controversies, unsure exactly when, im not up to snuff on my george lore sorry) over something or other and now gets all his memes and the like from alex albon. and yeah he does weird pr stuff, but he doesnt really get involved in controversies. and hes also not all that popular as a driver. he mostly gets memed and also made fun of. 

he’s also, im going to remind everyone, the gpda president. and the gpda, in case you need reminding, as of vegas, (a mere two/three weeks before the incident) were trying to get max to not get penalized for the swearing in the press conference (among other things).

there were i think several interviews that he gave about the whole thing, all on media say (pretty sure it was media day) and theyll all rather long, (if you want to watch the whole full ones, im pretty sure there were multiple but this is a good one here) but this one has pretty much a good summary of everything he said

which is a lot to unpack. 

george came with receipts. 

so lets break this down a little. 

george says “we’re all fighting on track and its never personal.” 

objectively true. other drivers have talked about this before. most of the time battles on track do not translate to battles off track (with some exceptions. you know. nico and lewis. im looking at you two. also prost and senna. the difference here being that they were both insane actual title rivals and max has won four championships and george arrived at mercedes in the middle of their shit arc and has never been in contention for a champion title.) even after….oh god what was that race….austria? where max and lando slammed into each other while battling for first and while they were kinda pissed max was like all that matters is repairing my relationship with lando blah blah blah (max and lando are seemingly more friendly than george and max but that is not the point here)

anyway, george’s argument was that max made their on track battle personal. which is a big no no (according to george) (as i said up top we had people make on track battles personal all the time. see quite literally the most famous example in recent history: nico rosberg and sir lewis hamilton)

george also famously said “someone needs to stand up to a bully like this” because “so far people have let him [max] get away with murder.” 

people online really really went off with that. and let me put my english major hat on here for a second to say that Getting Away With Murder Is An Expression an expression meaning, loosely, “get away with anything.” so no, george is not saying that max killed anyone. 

george defended himself against what max said in the press conference about how hes “never had someone try that hard to get me a penalty” and george maintained that max was going too slow on the racing line and they all have rules to follow. (true, but again to devils advocate george, remember that max is the only one to ever have gotten penalties in this context for going to slow. but then to that also also remember that the stewards said that they were going to crack down on anyone going to slow after yuki went too slow in practice.) 

he also said in a different interview that "It's funny because even before I said a word in the stewards, he was swearing at the stewards. He was so angry, before I'd even spoken. And at the end of the day, there's nothing to lie about.”

then, he of course hits us with some new information, saying that “i find his comments pretty ironic, when he comes out and says ‘im going to purposefully crash into you, im going to put you on your fucking head in the wall.’ for me, that isnt acceptable. and hes gone beyond the line here, and im not going to accept it.” 

now, in case you've been keeping track, this is far different than george’s attitude about the whole thing in qatar. george is claiming that max said this to him after the stewards room. which would have been saturday night before the race. and, if you will recall, here is what george said on sunday in qatar about the max incident during qualifying: *yet another rewind noise*

“Yeah, to be honest, I was expecting a crash [during the race]. But ultimately we [george and lewis] made it easy for him [max], because both Lewis and I made terrible starts. So it was a pretty simple overtake for him, which was a bit frustrating for us.”

when asked if this [the likeness of a crash] was because of comments that max had made to him, george apparently “didn't bite” according to one journalist and instead said that “We know Max is a fighter and is aggressive. I expect no different. I really wanted to go out there and fight with him today, like we could have done in the sprint.”

so. little confusing. because if max had said all of this on saturday then why didn't it come up in interviews on sunday? 

the same journalist had a theory: “In other words [george] had a chance then [in qatar] to reveal just what Verstappen had said to him [putting him in the wall], and in effect drop him in it, but he chose not to. He's only done so today [in abu dhabi] because of Max's ongoing criticism.”

and george did kind back that theory up. he likely elected to ignore the whole thing and chalk it up to heated emotions in the stewards room and only brought it up once he realized that max was publicly tearing into george’s character. and george said this himself, that he had “no intentions of bringing this up. he said this to me saturday night and i woke up sunday morning feeling fine. but to come out of those press interviews (the post race in qatar ones) saying that i’m two faced, that im a f word and this and that, hes taking this personal. what happens on track is professional, what happens in the stewards is professional.” 

so again, george’s main argument here is that max made a race related argument personal, when in george’s mind that is just a fact of racing that stuff like this happens. 

also, as many people pointed out, if max did actually say this, (as in threaten to crash into george and put him in the wall) then in nascar that would get you a race ban. and while those same rules don't exist in f1, it is still a very serious threat in some kinds of motorsport. 

now, here george also brings up new and interesting lore, saying that “like carlos said to him on sunday morning ‘you would have done the exact same thing.’” and then he cites max getting lando a penalty for not lifting in the yellow flags and blah blah but the real interesting bit here is about carlos. 

remember those pictures from before the drivers parade? and remember that ted said something happened before the drivers parade in qatar?? well! 

george said (i think in a different interview than the one that i linked) this: 

"And I almost joked with him [max] at the drivers' parade about this with Carlos [Sainz] and Checo [Sergio Perez]. I came around, put my arm around him [max] and laughed, 'How are you doing today?' and I said to Carlos jokingly, 'Listen to what this guy said to me yesterday' [the im going to put you on your fucking head line] But I could see it in his eyes that he meant it [the line about you and your fia mates that ted quoted]."

so. this explains then this lovely set of photos:

there were a lot of people online citing these photos as justification that george is a two faced bitch because Why would he have been that nice to max right after max had told him that?? but it seems now that george literally intended to never bring this up and then max went and ranted to hell and back to the press about it so he had pretty much no choice but to bring it up and the timing of everything made him look bad. 

george was asked about the thing max said about his “fia mates” and george was confused about that as well, going into detail about the lap times that you have to follow on the out lap. “he [max] was in breach of that, and i was following it to the letter of the law, i wasn't trying to get him a penalty, but that's just how things transpired.” 

as some people pointed out, i don't think george was on a flying lap when max was going to slowly, he might have been, im not sure, i don't remember and im not going back to look. but there was debate over this.

george also said that max “cannot deal with adversity. whenever anything is not going his way he lashes out with unnecessary anger and borderline violence. weve seen it in brazil in the past with ocon, we saw it in 21 with lewis, and then mexico with lando, first race of the year in budapest when he didn't have the most dominant car, crashes into lewis, slamming his whole team. that is not a guy who i respect.” 

in a second interview george also referenced this batch of receipts he brought up, saying that “I don't know why this topic has got him so angry. And like I said to you before, he cannot deal with adversity. He's had the most dominant car in recent history for two and a half years. I'm not questioning his driving abilities one single bit, but the second he does not have the fastest car - let's take Budapest as an example, he crashes into Lewis. He slams his whole team and he loses the plot. Straight away after that race, 25 percent of his engineering team were sending their CVs to Mercedes, to McLaren, to Aston Martin because they said they can't deal with a guy like that. And since Austria, he's won the same number of races as six other drivers. So when you say, is Max beatable? Of course he's beatable."

and this is quite the array of receipts that george brought up here. 

ocon and max in brazil was from like. 2018. when esteban, a lapped car in the race, crashed into max who was leading, and cost him the win. max pushed him in the garage after.

i think the incident hes referring to with lewis was in monza 2021 where he and lewis crashed after one of lewis’s pit stops and max ended up driving over the top of lewis’s car, at one point his tire was on lewis’s helmet. both of them were fine, but it was rather insane

mexico with lando is obviously earlier this year when max got hit with the 20 second penalty after driving, as lando put it, dangerously, while the two of them were battling. george also previously said that max’s racing in mexico was “hard but fair” and now seems to have rolled back that comment since he put it in the same boat as other Controversial and Insane Max Moments.

and budapest was also this year, this was the race where max was really going at it on the radio and once again flew over lewis’s car, then tried to blame it on lewis and was told by his team over the radio that he was being “childish” and that they were “not going to get into a radio fight with the other teams”

id also like to point out, that all of these incidents, while famous racing incidents, happened, they are also all resolved. monza and brazil do get brought up decently enough, but even esteban said this year about brazil 2018 that "Everyone thinks we [him and max] hate each other [because of brazil 2018], but that's not the case. I like that he races really hard. It's very straightforward. It's just who crosses the line first. With Max, there is no bullshit.”

and also. while im devils advocating myself here, there have been plenty of other world champions in recent history who have been pretty vicious on and off track. lewis hamilton is kind of the exception to this, he is a pretty clean racer and doesnt really make things personal (not after 2016 at least and definitely not unless its with nico rosberg but im absolutely not getting into that here)

however, for your perusal i bring up once again incidents like:

-sebastian vettel and mark webber, malaysia 2013, the infamous multi 21 incident where sebastian vettel over took mark webber for the lead when he was explicitly told not to and was kind of a jerk about it.

-spa 1998 where michael schumacher almost decked david coulthard in the pitlane because he thought that he had tried to kill him and also thought that it was a plot by mclaren to fix the race to benefit his rival mika hakkinen.

-japan 2005 when fernando alonso was trying to help renault win the constructors title (he had already won the drivers championship at the previous race) (he had also qualified 16th) and was effectively bullying michael schumacher (driving for ferrari at the time and already a 7x world title winner) trying to pass him earlier on in the race. eventually, michael kinda let him by (michael himself was also a very hard racer, and fernando was pretty young at the time) and after the race fernando famously said: “I knew he would hit the brakes because he has a wife and two kids at home” 

these are all drivers, by the way, that max has been compared to. 

george, in a different interview, compared max to lewis, saying that "He's [max] a four-time world champion. When I compare his actions to the ones of Lewis [Hamilton], Lewis is the sort of world champion who I aspire to be like. The way he fought Max in '21 was hard, very hard. It's fair, but never beyond the line.”

now again, as i said, this is mostly true. lewis is generally regarded as a pretty good sportsman and a clean racer. but that is if you omit the years 2014-2016 where he was tied up in a raging title fight with one nico rosberg that culminated in the end of their friendship (after knowing each other since they were children), nico’s retirement after his one and only championship win in 2016, and lewis’s absolute refusal to ever talk about him. 

though, i will say, even though nico and lewis are their own absolute disaster that really cant be compared to max because of their whole history and everything, there was the famous post monaco interview in 2014 (after a very intense race that nico eventually won where nico had been accused of crashing purposefully in qualifying and preventing lewis from trying to take pole from him) where lewis told the press about nico that “well we’re not friends. we’re colleagues.” (admittedly, the press was really harping on him about this and he later tweeted that they were friends, but i couldn't talk about Not Making Things Personal and not bring this up so) just goes to show you that even the most composed drivers and champions have their moments. its a hard sport, obviously things get tense sometimes. 

as for the part about red bull engineers wanting to leave red bull. not sure how true that is entirely, but we do know that adrian newey went to aston and jonathan wheatley is going to stake and they were a large part of red bull great ness. (unclear if this was in any way related to max though, newey’s departure seemed to be more related to the horner allegations (yeah that was also this year. its been a long season)). 

in Yet Another interview, george said that "They're [red bull] doing their utmost to get Horner out of Red Bull,” along with then continuing to repeat that the red bull mechanics were applying to other teams. i seem to remember someone, maybe zak brown, maybe toto wolff, saying something like this earlier in the year. but it is kind of unclear how george himself would have known that fact Specifically given that he is a mercedes driver and not a mclaren or aston driver.

and horner said. something. about this specifically. that i cant find. but it was something about how george shouldn't comment on other teams inter workings because its not his business. which is kinda fair, george knows what's happening at mercedes, not what's happening at any other team because hes only on one team. he might know the rumors and the gossip and all that, but he definitely doesnt know the ins and the outs, just like anyone else doesnt. 

max later had this to say about george’s comment about people leaving red bull though: 

"it is also very difficult for them, when you see that we have taken a lot of people away from mercedes for our engine program. then frustration comes out. we have the last laugh, because we won the race last week. they start on pole position because of that nitpicking with the stewards, but 300 meters he was already behind. everything he brings up has nothing to do with it. i was very relaxed with the stewards, i had already won the championship. but he had to be so dramatic to start first."

toto wolff also talked about horner. because of course he did. 

and remember these guys have a history too. we all remember the great “i have it printed out” incident in 2022 during the meeting about the porpoising.

anyway, toto said this about horner (who remember also had some choice words for george last week, calling him essentially overly emotional) "Why does he feel entitled to comment about my driver?...Yapping little terrier - always something to say."

horner was definitely not impressed by that comment At All. (surprise surprise) he said this: “I love terriers! I think they’re great dogs. I’ve had four of them, I’ve had a couple of Airedales, they’re the king of the terriers. I had a couple of West Highland terriers called Bernie and Flavio. The thing about terriers, they’re tremendously loyal. To be called a terrier, is that such a bad thing? They’re not afraid of having a go at the bigger dogs – I’d rather be a terrier than a wolf maybe.”

he also posted this on his instagram story after toto made that remark, which is a picture of his own terrier.

but anyway. back to george. because yes, he still somehow wasn't done dunking on max. 

one of his other arguments here was about how max should be a better role model. "I think we've also got a duty as drivers I've got an eight-year-old nephew who's just started go-karting, who watches all of my races, watches TikTok, watches YouTube, and for a world champion to be coming out saying he's going to go out of his way to crash into someone and put them on their effing head, that is not the sort of role models we should be."

this is another interesting argument. because i believe that one of the main arguments for drivers to not curse so much (which again, is something that george is actively arguing against as the gpda director) is that they should be being a good role model for younger kids watching. so, while it makes sense that george would bring this up as a like “hey maybe we shouldn't threaten eachother” argument, but again, max is hardly the first world champion to ever have a controversial moment. and also with the role model argument being used about the cursing right now, idk maybe not the best idea. 

he also said that he thought that max didn't attack him specifically. as in, it was not personal to george. he thought that it would have been the same with anyone in the stewards room in that specific incident. and circled it back more to how that makes max a bully: 

"I think [Verstappen] has been enabled because nobody stood up to him. Lewis stood up to him in 2021 and Lewis lost that championship unfairly. Could you imagine the roles being reversed and Max losing that championship in the manner that Lewis lost that championship? I mean, [former FIA race director] Masi would be fearing for his life. So, as I said, some of the recent incidents, he has been punished and he punished himself. I honestly think it could have been anybody in that stewards' room and Max would have reacted the same way. He's made it personal when there was no need to make it personal. He's a year older than me, so we only crossed paths once in go-karts in 2011. But as I said, he was wound up and frustrated before I even spoke in that stewards' room."

so this is now Another racing incident that george has brought up, abu dhabi 2021. weve talked about this before, max won the championship instead of lewis on the last lap of the race after a bs safety car call that allowed cars between lewis and max only to unlap and cost lewis the championship. michael masi was the race director at the time and he resigned i think not long after that and i believe got sent death threats about how he called the end of that race (as did nicholas latifi, the driver who caused the safety car). so given that masi did get death threats when lewis didn't win, i cant imagine that it would have been any different if max had lost. max did chill out a decent amount in the last year when he was really dominating, so we havent seen this side of him in awhile, as was pointed out several times by many different people over the course of the year.

if max really was this wound up though when george got in the stewards room, that might have resulted in a more heated debate than normal. horner said about the stewards meeting that  “Max does nothing but tell the truth so I believe 100 per cent what he said to be accurate. There [were] other people in those stewards’ rooms as well, and they also came back and reported that they were quite surprised at the approach that was taken.” and maybe that approach was that george was a little more forceful than he would have normally been. 

in the original interview i inserted, at the end, the interviewer asks george at the end:

“just to finally put to max’s point, which was that he felt that you crossed a line in terms of respect that was broken and he would say ‘well im not lashing out, im telling the truth and that's the way i am…’ he would say ‘that's just the way i am, that's i tell the truth, i say it the way it is.’”

this is objectively true, max has said this many times and so have other people, hes pretty blunt and to the point and just says it like it is. george though was not overly pleased with this.

“well im telling the truth that he said to me that hes going to put me on my fucking head. and for me that is crossing a line.” 

in another interview though, george said that "So as of tonight, for me, this is put to bed, and it's in race mode, and I'm focused on the weekend. I don't need to talk to him at all., there's nothing for me to say. I know what Max is like. This is not the first time I've seen him like this. I've seen him like this as a 14-year-old in the go-kart paddock. So this is just me sharing what happened on Saturday night. I walked into the stewards' with no problem with Max. I walked out of the stewards' with no problem with Max. Then, s**t has hit the fan and the words he said to me. I went back and I told my team and we laughed about it. And then I woke up the next day and I was expecting to have a laugh about it. But as I said, I saw the fire in his eyes.”

now, if you will recall, max’s original argument about the stewards room was:

“i’ve never seen someone trying to screw someone over that hard, and then for me i lost all the respect.”

“I just felt like I was talking to a brick wall.”

and

“he [george] always acts extremely polite in front of the cameras but if you sit together with him personally, he's a completely different person. i truly can't stand that. then you might as well fuck off, i don’t want anything to do with you.”

so george did not really address any of that at all. instead he brought up a lot off different points about how max had been behaving, how hes a bully and how hes been allowed to get away with things and how george himself was just following the rules. 

max, obviously, saw george’s scathing remarks about him and had this to say:

"that's not true [that i said i'd drive him into a wall] i didn't say it like that. he's trying to exaggerate it again. do you know what else i can't stand? that he attacks me in an unacceptable way with the stewards and then comes back a day later as if nothing is wrong and slaps me on the shoulder. then i think: stay away for a while. he makes up all kinds of things that aren't true. with me you always get the same: here, at home, with the stewards; i don't change. you can't say that about everyone. but i'm not surprised by that with him."

now, we’ve already heard george’s justification for why he was so casual with max in the morning before the drivers parade, it was because he didn’t think that max was still going to be pissed about it, but he was (or at least that's how i understand it. sorry guys im on hour 9 of writing just the george max part alone and its all starting to sound the same to me)

in any case, as ted said, drive to survive apparently has the sound byte of whatever the two of them said before the drivers parade and knowing netflix, they will milk this for all its worth in the new season of drive to survive. so i suppose we wont have any real information that isnt speculation about any of this until march. 

max also addressed george calling him a bully, saying that, "yes, but george is a bully. that he brings up all these kinds of things. he is just a loser. he lies and sticks all kinds of things together that are not correct. i only gave my opinion about his behaviour to the stewards. he clearly does not appreciate that. what he said about 2021, that is also what happened to the stewards. he insinuates a lot of things that do not make sense."

and yes, like i said, a lot of the stuff that george dragged up had absolutely nothing to do with the incident at hand and it was probably a pr move to just get the press to focus on a whole lot of controversial max moments (because yeah however way you spin it, he does have those. george really only has the one and its that time he slammed valtteri on the helmet in imola in 2021. which people did drag up, but that's only one incident and george alone brought up five separate racing incidents of max’s. people also brought up relentlessly that max’s father is literally abusive (remember i said a really long time that he was accused of murdering someone once), which doesnt really have anything to do with this other than to say that sometimes max might resort to anger?)

also. important to note. and i cannot find the original quote of this, but at some point george switched from just saying that max was going to put his head in the wall to “i was going to let you by, but now im going to put your fucking head in the wall” or something along those lines. which everyone was like, yeah no way max ever said that. which is fair. max has never been known to let anyone by even a little bit. many people saw this as a crack in george’s argument. but there is also the possibility that max was saying that he was going to let george off for his behavior or not punish him in the race or something and then he changed his mind.

and finally, at some point, george reportedly said that he had tears in his eyes (out of frustration likely) and upon being told that, max said this: 

"it wasn't that dramatic last week with the stewards, maybe next time then i'll bring tissues."

so. clearly this was not a mild incident. and im going to express that this is literally just a sampling of it. there was a lot more of just the two of them in their interviews tearing into eachother, but it did get very repetitive. so this is pretty much the main bits of it.

and ive tired to present as much of the information as i can as unbiasedly as possible so you can decide for yourself. there were a lot of opinions about the whole thing. like a whole lot. so i really did my best here. 

(and if you want my opinion, i think theyre both telling the truth here. i think probably something did get heated in the stewards room and maybe max was really pissed and george pushed a little harder for a penalty. max probably also did tell george that he was going to put him on his head. none of this seems that insane to me. i also do think that george is telling the truth that he wasn't that concerned about the whole thing on saturday night and then max was still going at it on sunday morning. all in all, in my opinion, they both fucked up here. and don't worry, it wasn't over)

but, tldr: 

-max drives slowly on his outlap in qualifying, potentially impeding george

-george cites this as dangerous driving, potentially lying about how severe it was, potentially also telling max that he didn't think it was a big deal before they got to the stewards room 

-there was already a precedent for the weekend about how drivers driving slowly would get punished (as established with yuki in fp1)

-something in the stewards room gets said that causes max to lose his temper and make him think that george is being unreasonable with the stewards

-max gets a 1 place grid penalty

-max tells george that hes going to put george’s head in the wall

-george takes this as a heated and of the moment comment

-george approaches max the following morning before the drivers parade and jokes about max’s comments from last night to carlos and checo 

-carlos and checo are seemingly confused and carlos says that max would have done the same thing in the stewards room

-they race 

-max ends up winning from p2, george finished p4 from pole

-after the race max tells the press that george is two faced and was unfair with the stewards and pushed really hard for a penalty that he felt he didn't deserve given the circumstances 

-george says virtually nothing about it

-rumors circulate about what might have been said

-max continues to bash george in abu dhabi, saying hes not sorry for what he said 

-george drags up years worth of racing incidents about max, calls him a bully, says that he threatened to put his head in the wall

-max says that this is not true and it never happened and this is more reasoning why george is two faced

-toto wolff calls christian horner a terrier, christian says hed rather be a terrier than a wolff

-george continues to lay into max, saying that he has lost respect for him and also saying that he didn't intend on dragging this up but now that max insulted his character he has no choice but to

-max says it wasn't a big deal and next time he’ll bring tissues

-remember. max already won the world title, george was not in contention. mercedes was solidly 4th in the drivers championship. 

-max doesnt usually go at people hes not title fighting for no reason cause he kinda hates the press

-george also doesnt usually go at anyone because he also doesnt like the press and also knows that people don't like him

so. certainly other people must have opinions about this, right?

well. lando definitely did. 

lando, remember, was max’s sort of title rival this year. he was in a lot of battles with max for sure, including mexico, which george cited as one of max’s controversial racing incidents. (george also implied that he wasn't sure why “people” (probably lando charles and checo) havent stood up to max before) lando is also pretty good friends with max (they fly together regularly, they hang out together, lando also seemingly has a pretty good relationship with max’s girlfriend kelly’s daughter penelope and i think theres evidence that hes known her for most of if not all of her life (i think shes like somewhere in the 5 year old range), so theres definitely some element of trust there). and hes also pretty good friends with george. george, lando and alex all were in the younger junior series together (f2 mainly, but i think also f3) so they have been racing against eachother for awhile, and its pretty obvious from videos and interviews and all that that theyre friends. 

and lando, as we all saw last week in qatar, loves to stir shit up. especially when its not his shit. 

and mclaren, in case you forgot in all of this, are in a constructors title battle against ferrari. ferrari are a little ways behind, but they still could beat mclaren in the final race of the season. 

so lando was of course asked about the george and max drama. 

and here is what he said:

“I hope it doesn’t get smoothed out… I hope they stay fighting and arguing, because it’s amusing to watch”

first of all, absolute man of the people

second, objectively hilarious response

third, this was definitely taking a decent amount of the press pressure off of mclaren, who as i said, were in a title fight with ferrari, so this was probably benefiting them in a weird backwards way. 

zak brown though was asked this by martin brundle: 

“Is Lando too compliant with Max Verstappen? Is he too submissive with him because he hasn't come out really and supported George at all in this latest spat?”

which is an….interesting choice of words to say the least. 

and zaks response was not all that much better: “Yeah, I think we've seen him race Max really hard. Lando's a different type of character.”  

in any case, lando did not defend either one of them. in fact, he just added to the shit storm. 

and how, you might be wondering, how could this get any more insane?

well. it is abu dhabi. final race of the season. and that means. its time for the annual drivers dinner. 

in case you don't know what this is, every year at the end of the season all of (or at least most of) the drivers get together to have dinner. its usually on the thursday night, before the real racing of the weekend has started. 

there was for awhile that i think the previous years champion would pay for dinner, but i think that stopped one year when nico and lewis got into a heated debate over who was paying for dinner that year and everyone ended up paying separately 

in any case. the first of the posts to be posted about the drivers dinner was, to my knowledge, lando’s. and it was this: 

which is. objectively hilarious. he’s once again stirring the pot. and also max’s beef emoji. does this ever fucking stop? (the answer is no)

and of course everyone posted virtually the same photo so oscar of course shit on it with his caption which read “Exclusive pic from the drivers’ dinner. Won’t find it elsewhere”

esteban ocon later posted the seating arrangement: 

yes, george and max were seated as far away from eachother as possible, lando did not lie about that

though apparently, that was not intended. 

liam lawson did an interview after the race weekend where they asked him about how the drivers dinner went, specifically the seating chart. and well. just watch it. 

so good to know that everyone else finds the beef funny except for george. 

lewis also took the time to make fun of lando’s inability to sit still: 

and unfortunately i lost the stupid link. but he posted a series of pictures of landos face zoomed in with hhis eyes closed or not looking at the camera in all of them and cat opined it "lando multiple takes norris"

and if you're wondering where lance and fernando are. apparently they went on a date with lawrence stroll? to get dinner. no i am not joking. i have no idea what this sport is anymore

not sure where kevin and nico were.

the drivers were also asked the following day about the team dinner. the drivers in question being oscar lando alex and franco. it was a bit of a trainwreck. 

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and valtteri ended up paying for the dinner, in case you were wondering. and it ended up being apparently 5k euros.

and in all of this, charles leclerc managed to get food poisoning. potentially from the dinner. though he was the only one. this was especially tragic for him as he almost missed out on doing fp1, which he was doing with his younger brother, arthur leclerc. a fact that pretty much got entirely overshadowed by the whole george and max drama of the day before.

now you might be wondering. is that the end of the max and george drama? or did something else insane happen?? 

now. if you don't know the bomb i am about to drop. i want you to take a second. and think to yourself. what could make the george and max drama more insane. 

go ahead

think to yourself

make a guess

….

do you have it?

great!

now take that guess and throw it out the window because theres no way you guessed what actually happened here:

yeah. max verstappen and his long time girlfriend, kelly piquet, announced that they are having a child. 

and now, i know that i tried to remain unbiased here. i know i tried. but im sorry. how much of a pr save do you need to be like oh hey. you know what will distract the press from this weird feud im having with a driver over a one place grid penalty that actually didn't really affect my race at all in a season where i’ve already won the world title? announcing that i am having a child. 

this did pretty effectively shut the press up (for the most part) about the max and george drama. but like. absolutely insane that they chose to do this. because there was absolutely no way that this was Not a pr move. first, look at the context of the weekend so far. george had just dragged up every bit of dirt he could on max verstappen and they clearly needed something positive for the press to talk about instead. and this. was what they landed on. 

because it really seems like this was supposed to get announced After the season was over. mostly because max is a pretty private person. second. who would, in normal circumstances, post this literally less than an hour before the first day of practice sessions for the last race of an insane season???

(also kelly posted some stuff on her instagram that made it seem like the two of them had been trying to have a child for awhile, so, weird that theyre still using this as a deflection for pr purposes. or at least, that is what i think)

also, this kid is going to be a verstappen piquet. the childs father will have won four (minimum) titles and grandfather (nelson piquet) won three. kinda wild. 

in any case, regardless of how it got announced, congrats to them.

and because this post is too long, i will see you all on part 2.

the 2024 formula 1 silly season and drama master post, part 2 (part 1 here)

Hello and welcome to ah fucking fuck auto caps fuck fuck fuck how do i turn off auto caps AHA there we go okay. take 2

hello and welcome to the great and very insane formula 1 2024 season drama post, part 2. if you are new here or are just looking for part one (which contains the previous 16 (?) races, the off season, pre season testing and everything else, that can be found HERE. (a word to the wise: open it in a browser, not the app, and preferably on a computer to avoid crashing. its fucking long). 

what the hell is formula 1? car go fast. fastest cars in the world zoom around tracks at top speeds of over 300kph, piloted by the top 20 drivers in the world. it might not sound dramatic, but oh man. you will Not be disappointed. this post focuses on the drama, the insanity, the sheer what the hell how is this a serious sport. no legitimately. we've just about seen it all this year. grindr, dogs, watersports, ice cream brands, its all here.

the point of this post? to educate, to catalog the insane drama, and to just have a good time. people like to gatekeep this sport, there is also a lot happening. i try to make it easy to understand. again, probably best to start at the beginning of the post because it does a pretty good job of explaining things, which i began way back in january, and can be found HERE (again, shes long, be careful)

and, as usual, if you do not want to see this post EVER AGAIN, block the tag #saph explains silly season 2024

and a second caution, i assume this post will be getting long as well. including this one we have minimum 9 updates left!

anyway, those of you who have been following along the whole time, welcome back! i know we got a little delayed. and i know we’re on a new post, so lets just briefly take a second for me to explain what the fuck happened. first i had an anatomy test, second i work 2 jobs with fuck ass hours, third tumblr decided to stop letting me look at any of my drafts, fourth tumblr support ghosted me about the drafts issue and the post was half saving half not so i just decided fuck it, were going with post 2, electric boogaloo, and fifth, i decided to start typing this instead in a google docs so. many changes. if you're new here i am usually more on top of this.

but here we are. were back on street circuits. we’re in baku, azerbaijan, for the start of the last third of the season. 8 races remain, world championship titles are still within grasp of multiple people. the drama is dramaing. and today is september 22, 2024 and lets fucking go. 

first and foremost, on account of the fact that this post is late (again, see above), were going to have to do a bit of a speed run. if you're new here, i promise that this is not representative of my normal dedication to the update post. and for those asking, yeah, ill probably compile it somewhere better than a tumblr post after its all said and done, but we don't have time for that now. 

what we do have time for is the Off Week (and like some of the media stuff). and it was filled with silliness: 

george russell decided to wear what can only be described as slightly ugly yellow short shorts with his taylor swift shirt that he got at the eras tour. this was baffling for several reasons, the main reason being that i don't think the internet knew that he was capable of wearing a graphic t shirt

fernando alonso got his aston martin valkyrie finally. in case you are unfamiliar, a valkyrie i think is the worlds fastest street legal car. he posted tweets about this that made it seem like he wanted to fuck the car. hilariously, the car broke down an hour later.

we also had the very thrilling conclusion to grill the grid. oscar won and he somehow managed to look more pleased about his grill the grid win than his first race victory. 

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nico rosberg went to the green awards and he wore a fantastically insane teal blue suit. yes i know hes not a current driver. but you all like hearing about him so ask and you shall receive. unfornunately i cant find a picture of it though

and also not a current driver is mick schumacher, but my roommate asked me to include that he was seen on his girlfriends instagram being bad at golf. like. exceptionally bad at golf. like he hit a tree 20 feet in front of him.

also playing golf was lando norris. except he managed to look like try bolton from high school musical 2.

he also talked about the world driver championship with his friend max fewtrell while they were playing golf. unfortunately i lost this link in the sea of technical difficulties, but the gist of it was that he was saying that there is still hope for him to beat max in the championship (hes about 60 points behind right now). lando doesnt usually talk about the championship because he doesnt want news outlets to paint him as “desperate” so this was interesting

charles leclerc had an insane off week. first he rear ended someone in monaco. then he spoke at a yacht conference. he was not scheduled to speak at said yacht conference, he was there doing something else and they were like hey you're cool people know you, heres a microphone. he alsp ended up on a weather channel while promoting a karting event he was doing for the jules bianchi foundation (his god father, the one who died during the f1 race in japan 2014). he also changed his instagram pop and re centered it because some random tiktoker told him it matched his aesthetic better.

oscar piastri posted a photo of himself sitting in the cockpit of a plane and then promptly deleted it. because he posted it on 9/11. for anyone who doesnt know what that is, that was when some terrorists hijacked commercial planes and few them into the world trade centers in nyc and the pentagon in washington dc

max verstappen also posted a plane pic with himself and lando norris, but he did not delete it.

we also had the return of daniel ricciardo’s jpg instagram account, which is kinda like a finsta for photos that hes taken. i think lando started this a few years ago. 

heading into the race week we certainly got a weird ass batch of pr. including but not limited to:

lewis hamilton was back on top and slaying in the fit game. as was yuki. 

lewis hamilton also exposed george russell as listening to katy perry pre race. katy perry and taylor swift (this was after he claimed that he liked listening to old school rap music.) though, lewis then started singing wrecking ball???? confusing vibes all around

george was not off the hook yet tho because some intern definitely make him say skidibidi toilet or whatever the thing is idk, i might be gen z but im not insufferable, okay? actually george in baku was just all kinds of unhinged

george and alex also got up to something, what it is no one knows but it is clearly something

max pulled up to the paddock de aged about 10 years. picture one is of him in baku in 2015 (i believe he was 17) and picture 2 is this year. no i am not kidding. 

and franco walked into the paddock telling everyone about argentinian mate (which is a drink, not a friend)

and max shoved a microphone out of the way so everyone could gossip

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then of course, we had some slightly more relevant drama

haas announced that ollie would be replacing kevin at baku. in case you forgot, kevin magnussen received a total of 12 penalty points over the season so far, which means he gets one race ban. how did he get the points? well he was mostly wreaking havoc on everyone else so that his teammate, nico hulkenberg, could drag his car into the points. lets all remember the time in saudi arabia where he managed to get 20 seconds of penalties by basically driving like a mad man just to make sure that nico could keep his position after he pit stopped. anyway, nico was kind of pissed about the race ban situation and said “maybe the guidelines for F1 penalties need to be reviewed as the stewards ‘want to get involved’ no matter the contact.”

in any case though, k mags was out. and ollie was in. we’ve seen ollie before. notably he subbed in for carlos sainz at the saudi arabia gp when carlos had appendicitis. he managed to get points as well. since then, he has been announced as a haas driver for 2025 and is now subbing in for k mags (haas, later in the week called him a super sub. clearly no gen z person read that over.) he can do this because ferrari has a haas engine so they share reserve drivers.

adrian newey finally got employed. i know! i can hardly believe it either! but he did! and youll never guess where! 

ferrari? no that would be too obvious. 

mercedes? nah

williams? no too much of a shit show

aston martin? ding ding ding! just the right amount of shit show! 

that is right. newey is going to aston for 2025. 

apparently he was offered a “good package” according to himself, which i assume means pay and also the fact that lawrence stroll made him a shareholder? stakeholder? whatever its called. in the team itself. basically he has a lot of power. 

he said that he always wanted to work with fernando and lewis. and he couldn't do both. and aston had a better package than ferrari. 

fernando looked positively evil during all the announcement pictures. and called the team "definitely the team of the future" and for those of you who don't know, fernando is positively evil. hes just been stuck in a shit box and we havent seen very much of him, but man does he know how to evilly slut it up. so that will be fun to see.

by contrast, people said that lance was not excited enough. and well. lance 1. has resting bitch face and 2. never really looks excited about anything. also he lives in a world where take your child to work day somehow became his job. (his dad owns the team).

lewis hamilton was asked what he thought about adrian not going to ferrari, and here's what he had to say:

"i feel like, while I have mentioned before that it would be an honor to work with adrian, i have been privileged to work with two championship winning teams that didnt have adrian."

mclaren announced pato o ward would do FP1 in mexico. who is pato o ward? hes one of mclaren’s indycar drivers and one of the f1 reserve drivers. he is incredibly charming and definitely runs his own social media as seen here:

mclaren Also claim they figured out who their number 2 driver is and they claim its oscar. i say they claim because the statements were a lot more complex than that. essentially, according to andrea stella, the priority is to the team first, then lando and then oscar. so they didn't outright say that oscar is the number 2 driver and i am willing to bet real money that this is because mr mark webber, oscars manager, has something in oscars contract that prevents him from being a number 2 driver. this is of course because mark webber was one of the most infamous number 2 drivers in f1 history to none other than menace war criminal sebastian vettel, who in their time as teammates, managed to win 4 back to back world champions. or, top to bottom if you're mrs darbus from high school musical. 

lando was asked about this and he said that yes, the team does support him. though he would not expect oscar to give up a win for him and that it is more complex behind the scenes. i suppose we will see if there are any papaya rules coming out this weekend….

and oscar said "i think the main point is its not purely just going to be me pulling over for lando every single race, because thats how none of us, including lando, wont want to go racing, if we feel that someone has done a much better job on a weekend, whichever way it is, we want that person to be rewarded."

max verstappen commented on the mclaren situation as well. which was funny mostly because red bull has one of the most defined number 1 and number 2 drivers of any team. he said "you look at it form oscar's perspective, he is closer to lando than lando to me. they have to deal with that."

and allow me to put on a tin foil hat as we are about to talk about the future of the red bull seat. because all i have to offer here is a baseball hat and a red bull can. 

a long time ago we talked about the red bull cans. the ones that red bull makes to promote f1. at the end of last season red bull put max and checo on the red bull can. this season at the start it was just max on the red bull can. well. now checo has reappeared on the cans too. and i will tell you what i think this means. it means that checo is not getting swapped this season, which was a possibility for awhile. 

but! there is more! 

daniel ricciardo made an instagram post this week. and it was very interesting. but most interestingly he was wearing a red bull hat.

which he does occasionally, no big deal really. he did race for the for several years, he technically does currently. BUT then he showed up TO THE PADDOCK wearing the red bull hat.

which is Big Interesting. usually you show up in a statement outfit or wearing the team kit. and daniel is not a red bull racing driver. he is a visa cashapp racing bulls driver. they might be owned by red bull but they are Not the same team. so why the red bull hat. in the paddock. well, the rumor is that hes taking checos seat for 2025. and the rumor is that this will be announced before mexico. so checo can have a proper send off. 

and with that. the baku lore. 

theres a lot that has happened at baku. as i said its a street circuit. and i think its the fastest street circuit. but over the years theres been some notable events. 

such as the great kimi raikkonen radio for gloves and steering wheel:

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they gave mini kimi this week gloves and steering wheel in honor of that

the max and daniel crash in 2018 when they were running p1 and p2 respectfully

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and of course. how could we forget. charles’s infamous “i am stupid” radio.

speaking of charles, he crashed again in fp1. not quite in the same spot, but nearly. he took a picture with the marshalls. 

then in fp2 he rage quit, basically saying that the car sucks. 

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but he was back and better than ever in practice three because he managed to top the time charts. welcome back fuck ass ferrari.

some other teams definitely experienced the lows but not really the highs of baku during practice. like lance stroll who came on the radio to say “this is not a car” (good thing they have adrian newey now, right? 

franco colapinto also cut his ear before practice on the neck strengthener stretcher thing that they all use and the team wanted to give him stitches but he was like no no no i need to be in the car in about 5 minutes im not doing that. so he jammed on his helmet and jumped in the car. he also crashed and when he went to the medical center he took off his helmet and there was blood everywhere and they were like no no no you cannot race! and he was like no! this is not from the crash! and then explained it and they let him do qualifying. 

also im pretty sure? ollie bearman crashed? in practice? but frankly i don't have time to google it so whos to say. 

but alas. qualifying. 

i know i know this is kind of a shitty update. i promise ill go all out in singapore. i PROMISE. 

so as i said. its a street circuit. high speed. 90 degree corners. and also windy as hell. we also had the dynamic duo of karun and harry in the commentary box. 

max led the first practice, george led the second and i think charles led the third. or some order like that. 

slipstream here is almost essential (slipstream: going behind another car to reduce the wind drag so you can go faster) 

charles has the last three pole positions (first in qualifying) here in baku, but he has never won. by comparison, red bull have never had pole here but they have won. 

and franco has never been to baku before. 

i think that's all the exposition that we need here. 

q1 started with max complaining about his car. “the car is jumping around like crazy on the rear axle” he said. despite this he was sitting in p3. 

the mid field battle though….the mid field battle was heating the hell up. mostly because none other than franco colapinto, who if you will remember, has never been to baku before, had split the two ferraris. he was in third for the moment, .109 seconds behind carlos sainz and .159 seconds ahead of charles leclerc. we still had a lot of qualifying left to go, so this was probably not going to stay, but it was still insane. he was pushing insanely hard, nearly kissing the walls. clearly he had learned from his crash in practice. 

the two mclarens waited until the very end of q1 to do their final flying push lap, and oscar made it through, but tragedy struck for lando. 

lando was in the middle of his last flying lap, time was ticking down, and there was a Very Brief yellow flag on the track. now, according to rules, you cannot complete your flying lap if there is a yellow flag. so lando pitted and was stuck down in 17th and out of qualifying. this would be the first time that he was out in q1 since vegas last year (which if i remember correctly was also not his fault) 

now though, of course nothing is ever that cut and dry. people thought that there had been a mis showing of a flag. yellow flag means that a car is stopped on track, white flag means that a car is going slowly on the track. and people thought that there had been a yellow flag shown when it was actually supposed to be a white flag (if there had been a white flag then lando would have been able to keep doing his flying lap) lando himself said that he had no idea what people were talking about because there is a light on the steering wheel that lights up when flags are called and he had a big yellow light. so it was clearly a yellow flag. 

if you're concerned about lando being able to pull it out of the bag, id like to point you in the direction of the mexican gp last year where lando qualified 17th and finished 5th. on a track that was hard to overtake on. he can be absolutely insane when he wants to be. worry not gentle reader. 

in any case. also out in q1 was daniel ricciardo, valtteri bottas, zhou guanyu and esteban ocon.

and notably, williams, who was on fucking fire this weekend as we already saw, finished q1 with alex albon in second (ahead of oscar) and franco colapinto in 8th. pierre gasly had somehow managed to also get into 4th. and nico hulkenberg was in 7th with ollie bearman in 13th. i told you the mid field battle was heating the hell up. 

q2. everyone zoomed straight out of the gate. they didn't want to get lando norris’d. but, speaking of that, if lando managed to get no points in the race and charles managed to win, charles would overtake lando in the drivers championship. mark webber himself told this to charles, who was absolutely baffled. 

in any case, charles was kinda suffering right now and that was because he was not getting slipstream from carlos to make his lap faster. meanwhile, carlos seemed to be actively trying to give charles the slipstream because he came on radio to say “he keeps missing the tow” 

and amazingly, franco colapinto was 4 tenths AHEAD of alex albon. alex albon who had not been unqualified by his teammate once since the start of 2023. ex red bull driver alex albon. that alex albon. 

max topped the times in q2, followed immediately by charles. insanely, fernando alonso managed to drag the aston martin to fifth. and franco was right behind him in 6th. by comparison alex albon was in 10th. 

and from q2 we lost ollie bearman, yuki tsunoda (who has never qualified lower than 8th in baku), pierre gasly, nico hulkenberg and lance stroll. so yes, ollie bearman managed to outqualify nico hulkenberg. this is ollies second ever f1 race. 

steaming on forward to q3. 

we had, for review, in q3 the following: 

both ferraris, both red bulls, both mercedes, both WILLIAMS (has not happened since vegas 2023), plus fernando alonso and oscar piastri. 

right out the gate it was wild. 

“red bull! theyve re found their mojo! or have they!” karun said. red bull were in 5th and 6th and not entirely sucking for the moment. 

everyone did one flyer and then came out at the end for a second flyer. 

here were the standings: 

charles, carlos, oscar, george, checo, max, lewis, alex, franco, fernando

and everyone was making it to the line and all was going smooth until-

wait a second what is that

could it be! alex albon! with the air box fan still on his car! surely not!!!

oh but it was! and harry and karun were like oh wow so unfortunate for williams tisk tisk

meanwhile ted jumped on the radio to Loudly announce to everyone that this was insane and if i have time here i will put the rant he ranted cause it was Fantastic.

and what do you know i have time

so we had 3 minutes left qualifying and everyone was pulling out of the pits for their last flyer when oscar hopped on the radio to say

"the williams still has the air box fan in"

"oh what an error! disaster for williams!" karun and harry said. they speculated if the marshalls could get it or if the session needed to be red flagged. but alex threw the fan off the car.

and then they asked "ted have you ever seen that before?" and ted did not hold back:

"ITS A MASSIVE YELLOW FAN HOW COULD YOU MISS IT???!!! HOW COULD THE MECHANICS MISS IT???? I CANT BELIVE THEY WOULD MAKE SUCH A MISTAKE DOWN AT WILLIAMS! SUCH AN EXPERIENCED BUNCH OF GUYS AND GIRLS! WHAT IS GOING ON AT WILLIAMS OPERATIONALLY? HOW COULD YOU SEND A CAR OUT LIKE THAT?"

alex, obviously, got fined for an unsafe release 5k euros. he also had to throw the fan off to the side and got slightly covered in dry ice. he did not get to the a second flying lap. 

franco did tho!

and here were out qualifying results: 

p1: charles p2: oscar p3: carlos p4: checo p5: george p6: max p7: lewis p8: fernando p9: franco p10: alex  p11: ollie p12: yuki p13: pierre p14: nico p15: lance p16: daniel  p17: lando p18: valtteri p19: zhou p20: esteban 

oh ho ho but we werent done yet. because pierre gasly got disqualified from qualifying. for failing fuel flow regulations. and lewis was going to have to start from the pit lane for changing his power unit. 

everyone, and by everyone i mean oscar max and checo, pretty much said that charles was going to get pole no matter what, they knew this coming in and the best they were trying for was second

onto the race. 

notably, this is considered a checo track. this was one of the three races that max did not win last year. because checo won it. its a track that he does well on, evidenced by the fact that he qualified above max in qualifying. so people were expecting big things from him.

and so, we head into lap 1.

charles managed to hang onto the lead. checo passed carlos straight out of the gate for third and max managed to pass george to take fifth. lando had managed to get ahead of nico and up into 13th. notably, franco held onto 8th and ollie was able to hold onto tenth. 

someone who was not doing well was lance stroll, who came on the radio saying that he had a puncture. this was from contact with yuki. lance had to pit for fresh tires and was pretty immediately thrown to the back of the grid. 

by lap 2 lando had managed to get past daniel and was in 12th, he was trying to get past yuki next, which he managed by lap 3. yuki also lost a  spot to nico. 

also slaying in the mclaren was oscar, who took fastest lap. then charles took fastest lap.

and lewis hamilton, who had started from the pit lane, was up to 16th. already. somehow. though he was displeased with the tires, sayig that “this tire is pretty bad” over the radio. 

yuki meanwhile was clearly having a problem because he had started going very very slowly. thought the pit wall said that he had no problems. this would later turn out to be false but we will indulge them for the time being. 

franco was STILL ahead of alex albon on lap 6. STILL. 

lando on lap 8 managed to push his way into points positions, overtaking ollie bearman for 10th. though this was where things were about to slow down for him because in front of him were alex, franco and fernando, who were all very close together and would be hard to get past. 

george was back in bad luck hell as a plastic bag entered his airbox. will he ever catch a break. 

on lap 11 nico hulkenberg finally caught up with ollie bearman and passed him for 11th. 

and max’s car was not working. to potentially no one’s surprise. “i have zero bite in the car” he said. and this was probably true because checo was a whole 6.5 seconds ahead of him. insane gap. 

several pit stops later that i will not detail out because we simply do not have the time, alex albon ended up in 4th and lando ended up in fifth. and oscar was about to get undercut by checo. 

“mojo seems to be back for checo perez” harry said, correctly. 

mojo was back for him indeed. and now he was right behind lando. 

and if you will recall, according to mclaren themselves, priority at mclaren is the team first, then oscar, then lando. but oscar was ahead of lando. so what did mclaren do? 

they asked lando do hold up perez, but not compromise his own race. 

remever a long time ago when i said mclaren wouldn't have any internal drama this season? man how i was wrong.

lando managed to hold up perez for around a lap or two before he got past. this was crucial because this was during when oscar was in the pits. 

thanks to lando and the power of the papaya rules teamwork, oscar ended up coming out in 4th, only .706s ahead of checo. 

mclaren are working together everyone! mclaren are working together!

meanwhile, turns out that yuki did indeed have problems because he retired on lap 17 with a hole in his sidepod from the contact with lance on lap 1. this was now two races in a row where he had had to retire for reasons out of his control. 

several more people pitted. and eventually charles was back out in front, oscar was in p2. until he wasn't. no, he didn't dnf. he overtook charles! he was in p1! he popped out of nowhere! nowhere being 2 car lengths back and just flooring it to spring around charles like a little silly slinky! karun called it a “good, fair and robust defense,” which sounds like its descibing notes in wine. but this was not wine. this was the baku gp. and we were only half done. 

ollie bearman was defending against lewis hamilton, holding on tightly to 14th place. 

charles was still behind oscar and he could not get past, despite the fact that he was still very much in spitting distance. “they are pushing like crazy or they have more grip than us” he said. 

carlos got past both lando and alex albon and was up into 4th

this brought max up behind lando. max was on 11 lap old tires and lando was on 24 lap old tires. but lando still defended like hell and managed to hold onto sixth. max was 0.632 seconds behind lando on lap 25 when he said that “my brakes are not working.” this was hardly a surprise. max has hated the car since china.

also experiencing technical difficulties was sir lewis hamilton. he was stuck down in 14th and was first told to do “everything you can do to get the surface temp down” of the tires. he said “im trying” then several laps later on lap 29 he came on the radio to say “are you seeing how i have to drive this thing?” “yes,” bono, his engineer said. “quite effective though.” 

max was still half a second behind lando. mclaren faked a pit stop call over the radio to get max to pit. he did not. 

but, george russell did manage to pass him. which was “not good for max’s world champion aspirations.”

this was also when ted very bafflingly said that “if i had a sofa in the pit lane i would be jumping up and down on it” im not sure what that was in response to. 

meanwhile, ollie was still holding off sir lewis hamilton. and charles was trying to get oscar to pit again by lying over the radio. it was not working. 

lando did a pit stop finally and came out a whole 15 second behind max. he was hoping to catch max by the end of the race. but it might be tight. lets go last lap lando. 

“lando, imagine andrea on your shoulder saying ‘zero wheel spin’ in every exit,” lando’s race engineer said. if you're confused, everyone else was too. 

10 laps to go and here were the order of affairs:

oscar

+.449s charles +1.865s checo +2.989s carlos +16.530s george  +1.909s max +11.535s lando +9.715s fernando +2.589s alex +2.451s nico +4.667s franco +1.590s lewis +1.261s ollie +1.791s pierre +9.205s daniel +23.919s esteban  +.789s lance +3.862s valtteri +3.631s guanyu 

lando was determined. he took fastest lap on lap 43 and was 8.8s behind max

at this point, the leaders were starting to lap the cars in the back. “the back markers are starting to come up,” checo’s engineer said to him. “its going to get messy.”

“hold onto your hats and if you don't have one go get one and hold onto it” harry said. harry would turn out to be correct. 

we had the top 3 all running very close to eachother, that was oscar, charles and checo and “welcome to the party carlos sainz!” who was now 1.2 seconds behind checo in the four way battle for the lead.

definitely not leading was lance stroll, who retired on lap 47 with a brake problem. 

oscar managed to pull ahead of charles by 1.5 seconds, finally knocking him out of DRS range. so now it was a three way battle for second. and charles had “no rear tires. no rear tires at all.” 

and, just like i said he would, lando managed to pass max on lap 49. he was closing the gap slowly in the championship. 

“verstappen’s day goes from bad to worse,” harry said. because lando still had fastest lap, so he would score 3 more points than max. which is important if lando wants to beat max in the championship (though i think hes still like 60 points behind)

meanwhile! franco managed to pass nico hulkenberg for 10th! he was in the points!!!! at his second race!!! 

but this was short lived because there was a crash! a big smackeroo! between carlos and checo!! checo was mad, carlos didn't know what happened. 

what happened was that carlos was trying to pass checo but checo did not move over. it was deemed an equal fault accident. both of them were utterly confused at what happened and apparently spent 20 minutes in the medical center being utterly lost and aparently saying that sometimes this sport sucks. and! contrary to what several people said! checo did not bang on carlos’s helmet after the crash. 

the crash actually caused chef's dad to have a heart attack. he is stable now.

and well. this clip of george from the post qualifying interviews definitely didnt age well:

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but! since we were a matter of a few laps from the end, this meant that the rest of the race was finished under a virtual safety car. 

which meant 

OSCAR PIASTRI WINS THE AZERBAIJAN GP

and george inherited p3! 

and on his own merit too! no safety cars, no team orders, no weird shit! 

“yes!” he whispered over the radio. 

he almost fell getting out of the car, then gave us all the “one moment” hand gesture before properly celebrating. 

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he also got driver of the day! 

(this was marginally better than george russell, who said over the radio “i cant get any rubber (to pick up on his tires) all im getting is leaves”)

gunther steiner also hosted the post race interviews. which was interesting. 

george said that the most difficult part of the race was “driving full gas into a wall of carbon fiber on the penultimate lap…the vsc should have come out sooner” 

charles bashed ferrari because they didn't do any high fuel runs in practice. 

oscar was entirely pleased. “i managed to overtake and hold onto it for the next 35 laps..one of the better races of my career.” and honestly, oscar winning a race straight after mclaren basically announcing that he was their number 2 driver is nothing short of hilarious.

and! mclaren was now leading the constructors championship by 20 points! for the first time in ten years!!!!

the top three had a moment outside of the car that was filled with baffled: 

and oscar's engineer tom got to stand on the podium with him. he usually takes a selfie with oscar after each race he podiums at, but he was too excited to so george took this picture for them

(george also aparently demomished oscar in a game of uno on the plane, immediately humbling him)

george also shielded himself from the champagne on the podium

the cooldown room reacted to the crash in a very straight forward manner:

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and very quickly cause its midnight and the singapore gp starts in 8 hours, the post race, speed ran: 

-mark webber told off laura winter for thinking that oscar didn't have good tire management

-alex albon was “super happy, that's a lot of points for us” (williams finished in 7th and 8th). he cut his own interview short when ollie bearman arrived, saying “I can go, im happy to go” and then waving comically. 

-williams was so pleased with this result they blasted everyone with champagne. and they overtook alpine in the constructors championship! this was also their best race finish all season

-(and a quick note, if youre going to really blame logan for being that shit of a driver here, please remember that the car he was driving was several rounds of upgrades behind alex's pretty much the entire time he was driving it)

-ollie became the first driver to ever score points in his first two races for two different constructors because the double dnf pushed him up to 10th place. he said that there was not much difference between the haas and the ferrari, the ferrari was just red

-franco continued to charm everyone and flirt with the reporters. 

-they interviewed george and lewis and the camera had to be adjusted for george's height. it was comical and resulted in my favorite edit so far of the season (sound on)

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-lando looked pleased and happy for once. he said about holding off checo that “i didn't hold him up i just had to cool my tires a little.” he was delighted to be leading the constructors for the first time in ten years and he defended alex albon saying “i struggled to get past alex for a while, which is common, alex doesnt make mistakes.” he also ratted on max for going to fast during the VSC and said “i didn't complain, facts were stated.” and to sum it all up he said that “im executing things well, i’m very quick…i’m not going to be the happiest guy, but i am never the happiest guy….car is performing well everywhere…some red cars behind us seem to be our biggest competitors right now” 

-by comparison george insulted all of pirelli. the tire people. “pretty infuriating that it (the pace) changes this so much….its black magic, people who make the tires don't understand the tires…..for 20 laps we had a car not worthy of points and for 20 laps we had a car fighting for victory and the only difference is the tires.” 

-lewis was notably upset after the race and walked through the paddock with his helmet on, not wanting to talk to anyone. but he did talk to franco and ollie and congratulate them on a job well done defending against him and racing against him. franco even fangirled over this on his instagram. 

-charles was clearly upset with ferrari. he was so upset he posted a thirst trap.

-and oscar. oscar was very happy this afternoon. and his mom was there! she doesnt usually come cause it scares her, but nicole was there today! 

-mclaren celebrated with a hell of a lot of champagne. both oscar’s wina and lando’s insane recovery, and the fact that they were leading the championship. red bull have been dethroned, at least for now. 

-there was so much champagne that lando took off his socks to spray it. all seems well at mclaren. 

-at least one thing is for sure, oscar had a better time here this weekend than last year when he got food poisoning and only ate four pieces of toast

and with that. we head into singapore. quite literally as it is starting in a few hours. again, i apologixe about this post. its a little sad, but the next one will be better. pinkly promise. 

see you all soon!!!

[grandline-fics]

Hey dear! I really love your writing,so so much! And if you were still open for requests I would love to see you write Smoker with the prompt 'Kiss to prove a point' If that is okay? <3 Thank you so much and thank you for sharing your amazing writing! <3

DESCRIPTION: Prompt: Kiss to prove a point

WARNINGS: Hi there! Thank you so much for this request, there's very Smoker love on my blog which I'll have to try and fix haha. I had a lot of fun coming up with the scenario for this prompt and I hope you like what I wrote.

CHARACTERS: Smoker

WORDS: 1,276

A/N:

*REQUESTS ARE OPEN*

DIRECTORY | PROMPT LIST

————————

When people looked at Smoker they took in the tall imposing figure; the broad shoulders, the scar, and the constant scowl and nearly hostile stare that kept everyone guessing on whether he was incapable of being in a good mood or if someone had pissed him off the second he woke up that morning. Some on the G5 base now joked that Smoker scowled when he was a kid and his face got stuck that way, his expression only changing to evoke angrier emotions, never positive ones. The subordinates of G5 obviously worshipped their commander, it was just they needed to find something to comment on, to joke about and use it as a way to see that he was human just like the rest of them. While focussing on Smoker’s constantly grumpy face was always a classic for them, a new topic had arisen to entertain the masses: his blossoming relationship with you.

The term blossoming was very, very loose for the G5 Marines because nothing in anyway juicy or scandalous had so much as occurred on the base between you two. At this point they would have  taken something borderline tame. Just something. Anything to show them that their boss was actually in a relationship. Because as far as they knew one morning they all came down to the mess hall and Tashigi gleefully passing along the news that you and Smoker were officially dating. That was it, just the Captain’s solid confirmation of the romance. Nothing changed though. You both were the visions of decorum and stellar professionalism. 

Now you were the more cheerful of the pairing-which wasn't hard by comparison- but when you and Smoker were seen talking in the corridors or in the other's office it was always respectable, enough space between you both as it had before Tashigi stated you were an item. There was no quick jolts out of each other’s presence like you’d almost been caught getting cosy, no flushed faces or lingering looks shared. Hell, no one had even seen you touch the other even something as simple as you putting your hand on his arm would have given them something. After a week of waiting they came to the conclusion that Smoker was clueless and they felt sorry for you.

“Should we say something?” One asked in the middle of the training yard one afternoon. “Not even in a prying way…maybe he just doesn’t know?”

“Know what?” A second questioned with a frown.

“Maybe he doesn’t know how relationships like this work?”

“Yeah he could be unknowingly neglecting them?” The third suggested make the first Marine nod firmly, happy that someone was on his wavelength.

“Exactly! It’s not prying exactly, just offering encouragement?” He stated with a proud smile. “And if the Vice-Admiral’s in good spirits then the entire base’s morale will improve too.”

“Guys…I’ve had a thought.” Another Marine uttered nervously. “What if it's too late? What if they’ve already broken up?” Silence fell over the group as they now considered the very possible scenario. Poor you, already fed up of no change in your relationship with Smoker had ended things but you were both so professional that no one knew anything. 

“No!” One of the Marine’s laughed, more to convince himself that couldn't be the case. “Tashigi would have said!”

“What? So soon after telling us they were together?” The Marine asked with a solemn shake of their head. “Announcing a breakup so soon after would be a greater wound to Vice-Admiral Smoker’s pride than anything.” Once again the dejected silence fell over the group, mourning their commander and idol’s dead love life. 

Sharply behind the group, a loud and obvious throat was cleared and every Marine snapped their heads around to freeze and pale at the sight of Smoker staring down at them; arms folded, eyes narrowed, and teeth slowly grinding against the cigars in his mouth. “The point of the training yard is to actually train your bodies and skills, not train your tongues to gossip like teenagers.”

The group flinched at the harsh words but they swallowed their fear enough to meet his stare.

“W-we’re sorry sir but we-”

“I heard.” Smoker sharply cut off the pathetic excuse before he had to suffer hearing their ridiculous opinions in his personal life another time. “I just don’t know how any of it is your concern.”

“Morale!” Smoker rolled his eyes at their unified explanation. When in doubt, that always was their go-to reasoning for immaturity. One dared to continue with hope in their eyes. “Please at least tell us you haven’t blown things yet. Don’t be afraid to make them feel special, it’s okay to show you care.”

“I haven’t-” Smoker stopped himself to roughly run a hand down his face at exasperation at the group. He was beginning to consider he was being too soft with his subordinates and let out a sharp huff. This was all Tashigi’s fault. Why couldn’t she have kept her mouth shut? “You have no need to worry. Everything is…everything is fine.”

“Just fine?” One of the Marine’s questioned with a tense frown. “Sir…”

“What now?”

“Fine is how you describe the mess hall’s food…not a new relationship.” The Marine told him. “If you're not careful they could be seduced by someone who’s not afraid to even hold their hand.”

Smoker was about to launch into a full tirade at the group for meddling in his life and inferring he wasn’t treating you properly. He’d been very close to throttling them when they hadn’t realised he was there and neglecting you in some way. Now hearing it being said to his face only angered him more. Thankfully for their benefit, you’d appeared in the training yard in search of another Marine. Your eyes locked on to the Marine in question, spotting him amongst the group in front of Smoker and began to approach.

Feeling something snap in him, Smoker swiftly discarded his cigars and closed the space just as you drew closer. You gave him a cursory nod and prepared to step around him, only to gasp when Smoker’s arm caught you around the waist and turned you to face him properly. Your eyes widened when Smoker’s lips settled over yours, luring you into a slow and gentle kiss. As always with Smoker, his presence enveloped you completely, settling you into a sense of calm and had you responding to the kiss immediately while quickly forgetting your surroundings. The second you returned the kiss Smoker heightened it once more, inwardly smirking in satisfaction at your eager reaction and the fact that this would now promptly shut up his squad and teach them to never doubt him or his ability to know how relationships work. 

Reluctantly Smoker parted and pressed a final peck against your still parted lips. Blinking out of your daze you stared up at your lover, breathless and pleasantly surprised. Pressing your lips together you finally felt you were being stared at and glanced to the side to see your slack-jawed audience and cleared your throat, forcing a polite smile to the group before looking away again. “It’s not our anniversary is it?” You asked softly to Smoker while he offered you a rare chuckle that was often left when you were both in private.

“Nah, everything’s fine.” He told you, finally releasing you. “Don’t think about it.”

“Easy for you to say, I’ll be thinking about this all day.” You laughed before walking away, the kiss effectively making you forget why you even came out to the training yard in the first place.

——————————————-

TAG LIST (If I’ve missed anyone or if you want to be added just let me know) @3v37773, @tsaaps , @i-am-all-love-puns-and-lazy , @sanemisnonexistenteyebrow , @fiery-captain-spider-santa@kabloswrld , @atanukileaf , @ane5e , @stuckinthewrongworld , @deathsmajestysworld , @cloudysunset04 , @chillerkiller , @extremely-ashtridic , @decayingpizza , @liesatemyocean , @ace-for-ace , @nerium-lil , @destynelseclipsa , @dreamcastgirl99 , @my-name-is-heartache , @iamn1ya ,  @yunho-leeknow , @hinata7346 , @h0oouwlss , @missrandomdreamer , @sleepykittycx , @ddawn111 , @jaygrl22 , @sylum , @acehyacinth , @resident-cryptid , @treelogirl , @maellem , @its-a-dam-blue-brick , @thulhu , @appalost

[eternalbuckley]

⋆౨ৎ˚⟡˖ WISTERIA VINES. (an aemond targaryen series)

— chapter one: Your Romeo. Your Juliet.

SUMMARY: You and Aemond find out that you got the roles of Romeo and Juliet but didn't know yet about the other one. You only found out that Aemond will be Romeo through a phone call with Helaena. And Aemond got the news about you from his older brother. How do you both react to these news?

word count: 4,415

genre: just some tiny angst i think? | no specified reader, queer!reader, bipoc!reader and plus-size!reader friendly

warnings/tropes: modern au, Y/N and they/them pronouns are used a few times, english is not my first language, slightly proofread and edited — if I forgot something, please let me know!

a/n: i'm more than excited to finally share the first chapter of this series. i've been working on this whole project for a while now and i really hope you'll enjoy reading it as much as i enjoy creating it! this will be my last fanfic this year, so i hope you'll have a great start into the new year or had a great start (whenever you're reading this) <3 reblogs, feedback and comments are highly appreciated and welcomed! ♡

disclaimer: please do not repost or try and take ownership of my work or post this anywhere without my consent. i don’t give you my permission to use my writing for any ai related things, don’t do it. do not translate my work and post it anywhere — i give you no permission to do that. i only post my stories here, so if you find my work anywhere else please let me know!

dividers by saradika-graphics

⋆౨ৎ˚⟡˖ navigation | wisteria vines masterlist | main hotg masterlist | series taglist

You nibbled nervously on your nails while you sat on your couch in front of your opened laptop, rocking with your leg as you waited for an e-mail from the production team that produces the ballet show of Romeo and Juliet of the upcoming ballet season. Ever since you’ve first seen a performance of this production, you wanted to be a part of the ballet as well, especially in the role of Juliet. You’ve always dreamed of it and worked hard for your dream.

You’ve already worked with the choreographer before and would love to be able to work with her again. You’ve worked with her on two different productions before; the Nutcracker and Sleeping Beauty. You loved working with her and were fascinated by how she was able to put her visions into reality.

You first got into ballet shortly after you turned five and started having ballet classes. It didn’t fill you with joy in your early stage of being a ballet dancer, you sort of disliked it, but you grew to love the art of this dance over the years. One of the main reasons for falling in love with ballet was a performance you saw with your family in a theatre when you were almost seven years old. You were fascinated by the dancers, the costumes and the whole representation of the stage. It was magical for you and since then, you were determined to get better each day, hoping you’d be as good as the dancers you saw on stage. Eventually, you were allowed to use pointe shoes for the first time when you were thirteen years old – causing you to be the happiest person.

Officially, you have been a professional ballet dancer for a few years now. When you were seventeen, you had the opportunity to be able to dance in a bigger role in a Nutcracker production, which changed you into a better person and was a big step for your ballet career. It was one of your favourite times you’ve ever had, thanks to different people who were involved in the whole process.

“Come on…” You whispered to yourself and refreshed your e-mail inbox for the hundredth time today, hoping there would be an e-mail for the production. You wished there would be a positive message – a message which would tell you that you were a part of the production in the next ballet season. You’d be happy enough to be a part of the production in general, but your main aim was to get cast as Juliet. But after all, you would be happy either way.

You stood up with a sigh and walked into your kitchen to get yourself a glass of water. While you poured the water into your glass, you got a notification on your phone – an e-mail.

‘Casting Results for Romeo and Juliet’

You widened your eyes and immediately sat down your glass on the counter to sprint to your laptop and refresh your inbox to read the e-mail. Your pulse increased and your palms started sweating as your nerves almost exploded. You deeply breathed in, opened the e-mail and read the first lines.

“Hello Y/N,

we are more than happy to tell you that you have been selected as our Juliet for the Romeo and Juliet ballet of the following season. Congratulations!

The complete casting list will be released in the following days. The date for the first rehearsal will be sent to you with the official casting announcement – please make sure you’re prepared for everything!

Until then, relax as much as you can. We’re sure everything will be more than perfect this season! We’re very excited for it.

See you at the first rehearsal,

your production team :)”

You reread the lines multiple times, you couldn’t entirely believe it yet that your dream has just come true. “OH MY GOD!” You happily screamed out loud, jumping on the spot multiple times – you were more than happy. A few tears slipped out of your eyes while you unlocked your phone to call your best friend – Helaena Targaryen. Your hands shook a bit from feeling overwhelmed by the news.

You met her through ballet classes you took together when you were nine and ten years old, and you became best friends very quickly, grew up together and were inseparable. You were thankful to have her at your side. You were there for each other whenever you needed each other and built each other up whenever the other one wasn’t doing well. Especially when Helaena had a knee injury when she was eighteen and sadly had to give up on ballet. She wasn’t doing well mentally and lost her love for it. For a while, she tried to avoid it at every cost after her injury. Even you. You never blamed her for acting the way she did, you understood her. You would probably act the same way if you had to stop the thing you loved because of an injury.

It wasn’t an easy time for Helaena, but over time, she found other interests, and slowly got happier again when she discovered her interest in fashion and designing. It filled her with joy to create her own clothes and bring her ideas to life – it was Helaena’s passion. Being able to design clothes in the way she wanted brought her self-confidence back and gave her a voice. While you thrived in the world of ballet, she thrived in the world of fashion. You support each other in every step and success you’re able to make. Over the years, she had designed your costumes for different performances you were a part of. Seeing you in her creations whenever you danced on stage made her proud. Both of you moved in together shortly after your nineteenth birthday and had been living together for six years by now.

Your phone rang a few times until Helaena eventually appeared on your display. She wasn’t home because she was currently in Winterfell for a design job.

She smiled at you and leaned against the bed headboard in her hotel room. “Hi babe, what’s–“ Helaena began to speak but immediately sat up and gasped as soon as she saw your happy expression, “Did you get a part?!”

You nodded quickly while you walked over to the couch in your living room and sat down cross-legged. “YES! I will be a next Juliet,” you grinned proudly and excitedly while you put your phone against the plant pot that stood on the coffee table.

She clapped, “Oh my god, yes!! Congratulations, babe, you deserve it so so much,” she matched your excitement but then became a bit more serious for a moment, “Wait… Do you already know who your Romeo will be?”

You shook your head, “Not yet, the e-mail said that the complete casting list will be announced soon. I don’t know when, but I hope soon, and I hope it will be someone who’s…” You noticed her serious expression and how she nervously bit down on her lip, “Wait… What do you know?” You furrowed your eyebrows – you were confused.

“Nothing…” She cleared her throat to hide the nervous tone in her voice, but you knew she was lying because she wasn’t looking at you anymore.

“Helaena,” you said warningly, “Tell me what you know?”

She sighed and nodded her head. “Aemond just called me before you did,” she began, and your face faltered for a moment – you knew what this meant, “He will be your Romeo.”

“Oh… Uhh,” you cleared your throat in surprise, “That’s fine. Really. I’m sure it will be fine, I mean… He’s a wonderful dancer, and I adore his passion, but…”

“You’re afraid it will be weird between you? Considering that you’re not together anymore?” She interrupted you without a second thought. Her face showed sympathy as she asked you a question you tried to ignore for yourself.

Your shoulders were slightly slumped, and you nervously bit down on your lower lip. “Yeah,” you nodded slowly and shrugged. “But we’re professionals, and I’m sure we’ll be able to work through it in the next months. I doubt there will be any problems; we ended on good terms. In some way. We agreed to stay friends, remember?” You inhaled and put a few hair strands behind your ears.

“Babe,” she tilted her head, “You two can’t really be in the same room with each other. Every time you stare at each other like two lovesick puppies that obviously still love each other. When was it the last time you actually saw each other?”

You were aware that you and Aemond were extremely professional and wouldn’t let personal feelings ruin any experiences for your careers. But even if you agreed to stay friends and that you wouldn’t let any personal feelings between you, you had to stop dancing with him entirely. The weird tension between you was too heavy after your breakup. You and Aemond used to be dance partners, even before you got into a relationship. You only hoped it would end well.

“I don’t know. It probably has been a few months by now.” With an apprehensive sigh, you leaned against the backrest of your couch and placed a cushion on your lap to play with the fabric. “And besides, the moments you mentioned probably happened shortly after we broke up. I’m sure he and I moved on and can be professional. You know how important our careers are for us.”

Helaena hummed teasingly and nodded her head, “Of course, of course…. I’ll pretend I believe it now.” She chuckled as you rolled your eyes and huffed. If she were here, you’d have thrown the cushion at her. “Whatever! This only means that I’ll finally be able to design another dress for you,” she smiled and clapped excitedly. You chuckled and smiled at her through the screen, her excitement made you happier.

You talked for a few more minutes with her before she had to end the call because she got called by one of her clients. You sighed after the call ended. This was not what you had planned. This was not what you thought would happen. You weren’t exactly sure how to feel about it that you’d be dancing together with Aemond, especially in such a story as Romeo and Juliet. If you were honest, it didn’t bother you that you’d have to dance with him, but you were nervous. More than nervous that something might not work out in the way it should be.

You weren’t lying when you told Helaena that you and Aemond decided to stay friends, but she wasn’t lying either. You barely saw each other or were able to stay in the same room for long without staring at each other when the other one wasn’t looking. There were still feelings between you. Feelings that both of you tried to ignore and deny, even if it was obvious that they were still there. Especially to Helaena – she knew what you and Aemond still felt for each other. She deeply hoped that you would get closer again someday and maybe be honest with yourselves and each other.

You met Aemond and the rest of Helaena’s family when you were having a sleepover at her place for the first time when you were ten – it was like a little celebration of your friendship. During the first years of your friendship with Helaena, you barely talked with Aemond or any of her brothers, you barely knew them, only the things Helaena had told you about back then. The interests were too different, even if Aemond was into ballet and a ballet dancer as well. You couldn’t really find a way to connect with him.

Surprisingly, you had talked with Aegon more than with Aemond, despite the slight age gap. Aegon was like an older brother to you and treated you like a second sister – even if he technically had two already. He was happy to see that Helaena had someone who shared her interests and didn’t judge her for the way she was. You had met the other half of their family only a handful of times so far. Even if everyone tried to be polite with each other as much as they could, you were able to notice the tension between everyone – some had more and some had less tension, but it was there.

But over the years and the older you were, you grew closer to Aemond and became friends. You found interest in each other and realised that both of you had sides inside you that neither of you were aware of. You had been spending more time with him after Helaena had her injury and wasn’t able to dance anymore. Whenever you weren’t with her, you spent your time in the studio with her younger brother. You started to like him more after you got to know each other better. You trusted him, he trusted you. Both of you motivated each other for your dancing and after some time, you tried to dance together, and it was like you were made for each other. Dancing with him always seemed more than easy and the chemistry between you made it even more magical. You supplemented each other, which resulted in both of you being able to dance in a Nutcracker production together when you two were seventeen. It was the start of the best time of your lives.

Both of you were able to turn your hobby into your career and danced together in many productions, even the teams behind every production were mesmerised by the chemistry between you. Many times, you were asked by other dancers if you two were in a relationship – which you had to deny every time. Although, you had a crush on each other, but you never told each other, even if everyone around you seemed to notice the underlying feelings between you.

Especially Helaena noticed it, then and even now, and she loved teasing you about it. Even Daeron and Aegon seemed to notice something after some time. They cracked jokes about it many times before, about how well you’d fit together. Both of them didn’t even notice the glares Aemond gave them or how his and your cheeks heated up. Nevertheless, it took some more time until Aemond got the courage to officially ask you out on a date when you were rehearsing for a production. You didn’t realise in the first place that he was asking you out but once you did, you agreed happily.

You were the one who was able to bring out a happier and more cheerful side of Aemond, one he mostly only shared and barely let out due to different things that had happened in his life. Especially since he was ten years old and got into an incident with his younger nephew and lost his left eye to it. Since then, he has been wearing a prosthetic eye, which brought him his own difficulties from time to time. There had been days when the pain would be unbearable for him, and nothing could help him to ease the pain. Before he had been with you, he wanted to get through this alone and show everyone that he was strong enough, but he slowly let you comfort him and be there for him, the more he trusted you. But even then, there had been days when he pushed you away and wanted to be alone.

In your presence, he was mostly able to forget about his burdens and worries and could feel peaceful because of you. Especially whenever you danced together, he was much calmer and able to forget about his problems during these moments. He may have gotten rude comments about him being a ballet dancer from different people throughout the years, but he paid them no attention. Ballet saved his life in a way only you could understand.

Luckily, your relationship didn’t end because anything negative happened between you. It was rather a decision the two of you had made together almost a year ago, so both of you could focus more on your careers as ballet dancers without any distractions. You had been quite busy with your schedules and barely saw each other that much anymore, given that you and Aemond had to work on different performances and were busy with your training, classes or rehearsals all day. At the time, it was the better decision to part ways and stay friends.

Even if that worked in some way, neither of you wasn’t truly able to move on. Even if you had agreed to stay friends and act normally, it wasn’t easy to see each other afterwards. You kind of grew apart even more and only saw each other rarely. Before and during your relationship, Aemond used to visit you and Helaena a lot, but after your breakup, he rarely stepped into your and Helaena’s apartment. Only if he knew that you weren’t there.

It hurt Helaena to see her younger brother and her best friend growing apart like that, she felt kind of helpless. She didn’t want to get between you, but she understood your decision and tried to be there for each of you as much as she could. Even if it could be difficult for her sometimes – she tried her best, and so did you and Aemond.

After a while of thinking about old memories, you cleared your throat and got up from the couch to distract yourself. You didn’t want to spend the rest of your day thinking about your ex-boyfriend and what you experienced together. You wanted to focus more on being happy that you were finally going to have the opportunity of your life – you were a next Juliet in the ballet world.

You walked into your kitchen and took a sip from the glass you poured yourself before you received the email with the news of the casting. Your phone lit up with a message from Aegon – he congratulated you on getting the part in the production. You smiled and shook your head, Helaena must have texted or called him after her call with her client. You quickly opened the message and replied to him before you started to cook yourself dinner.

Meanwhile, Aemond cut some vegetables for his dinner and was on the phone with Aegon. He just told him that he got the part of Romeo and was more than excited to start the rehearsals – but Aemond didn’t know yet that you were going to be his Juliet. He hoped that the other dancers he’d work with would be as professional as he was.

“How was the first concert, by the way?” Aemond asked his older brother and got a pan out of his kitchen counter – fully unaware that Aegon was texting you.

Aemond furrowed his eyebrows when Aegon remained silent, “Brother?” He placed the pan on the stove and continued to cut the vegetables.

“Hmm? Yeah?” Aegon cleared his throat on the other side of the phone, “Sorry, what did you say?” He changed the position of his body while lying on the couch of his hotel room, a quiet groan leaving his lips as he tried to find a comfortable position.

“Your first concert… How was it?” Aemond repeated his question with a short sigh and added the vegetables to his pan and turned on the stove. But he didn’t get a reply again, which caused him to snap slightly, “Aegon, are you even listening, or what are you so busy with?” Aemond hated it when his brother wasn’t listening or was only half-listening.

“I’m just–“ Aegon paused and thought about his next words for a moment before he continued, “I’m wondering… How does it feel for you to know that you’ll dance with Y/N again?” He furrowed his eyebrows in contemplation.

Aemond stopped his movements, and the grip on his knife tightened with Aegon’s question. “I have no idea what you mean?” He hoped that he just misunderstood Aegon, that it was just some mistake, but how could it be a mistake? Aegon used your name, he must mean you, it could only be you. The words echoed in his mind as he gulped with the consideration that Aegon was telling the truth – that he’d have to dance with you again after everything that happened.

Aegon chuckled nervously. ‘Didn’t he already know that he’d have to dance with Y/N?’ He asked himself and cleared his throat. “I uhh…,” he sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose, he couldn’t save himself anymore, “Helaena called me before you did and told me that Y/N got the part of Juliet. And you’ll be Romeo. So… They’re your Juliet. I thought… You already knew.”

Aemond stared at his cutting board, did he hear his brother correctly? You were going to be Juliet? No, he must have misheard something, right? This newfound information caused him to stay quiet for a few moments. He wasn’t sure what to do with that information. On one side, he was happy that he got the part of Romeo, but it meant to dance with you. He felt conflicted about it, he knew that dancing with you always felt magical and easy, but he wasn’t sure how it would be after everything that had happened. Even if it has been a year since the end of your relationship, he didn’t know what to expect. He should’ve expected that this could happen, but he didn’t.

“I certainly didn’t know that at all. I only got the news of my part…. They’ll announce the complete list of dancers soon, but I didn’t know about Y/N.”

“Sorry, I–“

Aemond cut him off and shook his head, even if Aegon wouldn’t see it. “Do you know if they know that we will... You know,” he cleared his throat, he felt somewhat tense, “Dance together?”

“I don’t know, perhaps?” Aegon replied, quite unsure of his answer, “If you already have told our sister about it, then I’m quite sure that Y/N knows too by now.”

Aemond hummed and pursed his lips. Should he text you and congratulate you on getting the part for Juliet, or should he wait until you see each other for rehearsal? But what if you didn’t know yet that he would be your Romeo and that you’d find out because of him? It could be strange. After all, he knew what the whole Romeo and Juliet ballet meant to you, so it wouldn’t be weird to congratulate you for getting the role you always wanted, right? But he wasn’t sure if he should reach out to you after all.

“We’ll talk later. I’ll prepare my dinner now. I’m sure that you… Must prepare for your show tonight. Bye,” he quickly ended the call and let out a desperate sigh. This wasn’t how he thought he’d spend his next months.

You haven’t seen each other in months, how would things be between you two? He was excited about the production if he was thinking about his career, but he was nervous about his personal feelings.

Later that evening, you found yourself sitting on the couch of your living room, one of your favourite blankets wrapped around your body while a movie was playing on the TV in the background. You shivered a bit, even if the room was warmed up by the fireplace. But you weren’t sure if you shivered because you were cold or because you were feeling nervous. You stared at the screen of your phone, eyeing the chat with Aemond – you were considering if you should text him or not. After all, you were about to spend your next months together, almost every day until the last performance at least. It wouldn’t hurt to text him quickly, right? But did he even know about you being his Juliet?

Your thumb hovered over the chat with him, your nerves causing your hands to sweat a bit, and your pulse beat strongly in your ears. It was just a simple text; it shouldn’t be anything you should worry about. But your pulse was still beating strongly, your mind flooded with a whirlwind of thoughts and emotions.

Little did you know that Aemond was in the same situation as you while he was lying in his bed. His blanket covered half of his body while only the small lamp on his nightstand brought some light into his bedroom. One arm was placed under his head while he held his phone in his other hand. His thumb hovered over your chat as well. He desperately wanted to text you and let you know how happy he was for you that you were going to be Juliet. He was happy for you, but the thought of dancing with you caused his nerves to hit him deep inside. Aemond rarely felt nervous, but if it involved you? Completely different. You made him feel things no one else could, even after your breakup and not having seen each other in a while. The thought of you increased his pulse immediately.

After some more thinking, both of you tossed your phones away, letting out a long and exasperated sigh. Both of you covered your faces with your hands while your shoulders relaxed. This wouldn’t be easy. If you couldn’t even text each other a simple ‘Congrats’, how should things go when you would dance together? How were you supposed to spend your days together in such intimate moments? You’d have to be close – very close with each other and trust the other one. You were sure you could trust each other, but you were afraid of what else might happen.

And that’s when it hit both of you all of a sudden – he immediately sat up, his shoulders tensed while yours did as well as you both realised what it meant to be dancing as Romeo and Juliet.

You’d probably have to kiss each other.

On stage.

In front of so many people who would watch the performances.

It would most probably be a part of the choreography, and neither of you could change it, even if you could – neither of you wanted it to be changed, either. It is such a delicate moment between the characters and displays the feelings between them – it would be foolish to erase that moment. The next months surely would be interesting.

[jaosol]

I'm new to all the League lore, but definitely not to the whole shipp thing (been reading for a long time, even though I don't engage much on fanfics or discussion). Since I also have strong feelings about these two and can't seem to stop thinking about them, I also wanted to share my point of view about this one! 

I never really tried to analyze a show like this, and I'm not nearly as good in writing as you, so I'll do my best lol.

Ekko spend a considerable amount of time on that perfect world. Enough time for him to fall in love with that different Powder, what Jinx could've been, what they could've been. But at the same time, is enough time for him to also recognize that that reality isn't hi's, and that that Powder is not the Jinx that he knows. But that's all things that you already said, and here is where I diverge a bit.

In his scene with AU!Powder on the roof, he sound somewhat regretful when he talks about him giving up on Zaun, and on Powder (but actually referring to his Jinx). But at least to me, it also sounded kinda hopeful. As if while he realized that he couldn't be with or even truly love (and I could talk more about that later) AU:Powder, he also thought that maybe, just maybe, things could change in his own reality, and there could be more to Jinx than just the persona Silco fostered.

And I think that's not only just a senseless hope because he had just spend time with what Jinx could've been (even though that might've been a big part of it), but also because he knew Silco was dead. And since then, Jinx didn't make an appearance anywhere - so maybe she was already different, and changing her mind wasn't that crazy of an idea after all.

Don't get me wrong, if he came back and found Jinx as she was before, I think he would scratch that ideia very quickly if she attacked him or something. But that's not at all who Ekko founds, cause as you said, Jinx was living her own love (and very tragic) love story before that.

And her arc that started with Isha, was all about she discovering that she could - and liked to - connect to other people. Not Silco and Vi, not someone who would boss her around everywhere, not an idealization of her sister that she hold on for so long. People who genuinely liked and looked up to her. She was for the first time being treated as neither a child that needs protection, nor a crazy threat. And that trend continued with Sevika, Vander and even Vi, rebuilding a completely different relationship with her.

So Jinx was actually a very different person - some could say she was trying to fix everything, huh? Sry that was bad lol. 

But even after all this effort to be different, to make friends, to control herself and work with Caitlyn who was the one person she hated the most. After all of that... things ended up very tragically. So much so, that she went completely depressed.

So when Ekko found arrived, she was on the lowest she could ever be. And given her state, I don't think it's fair to say that she was "ready to kill him". I truly think she wasn't, because she just pulls the pin when he doesn't get any closer. But when he steps in and sits down, she throws herself off instead. In summary, I think the explosion would hurt, but not kill him.

Well, maybe that is a stretch, but even if it wasn't the case, because of how bad she was mentally I still don't know if I would really blame her or say she's okay with killing him.

But the fact is that when she's convinced, either because of curiosity or whatever reason, even though they don't know about each other stories, I almost think that helps in a way?

Ekko finds a Jinx that's completely changed, a Jinx that values her connections and relations more than ever, and that proves to him that he was right about not giving up on her.

And Jinx, for the first time in years, encounters an Ekko that does not despise nor hate her anymore, and is willing to give her a chance. The person that seemed the most convinced that she was beyond saving, wasn't agressive at all.

In my eyes, if there ever was a moment for them to have a romantic relationship, was after this. Maybe not between that and the final episode (I actually got a bit lost on how much time has passed between those events), but I wouldn't exclude the possibility completely.

Having all of that said, I completely agree that we can't act like it's cannon, and it's dumb that anyone is being toxic over this. All I wanted to share is why I think that timebomb could've happened and I don't think it's such a crazy ideia. 

I also just finished Arcane yesterday and wanted to talk about it, and thought it would be a fun challenges for me to try and write what I thought since that's something I don't really do. Sorry if I said too much or if it came out confusing, but I was inspired by how good your writing is and wanted to give it a shot!

Okay Fine Let's Talk Timebomb and Season Two.

I do want to talk about this because I have a Lot of thoughts and feelings and it has been building up and building up, not only based on what's happening in other social spaces, but what people keep bringing into mine despite my best efforts to avoid it.

This isn't any kind of hatepost, I don't think I could hate Ekko or the ship if I tried, I just want to explain my very mixed feelings about the whole thing.

My likely-to-be-very unpopular take on Season Two's Timebomb romance is that it left me feeling uneasy and uncomfortable.

Not with what was in the show itself, I feel like that was perfect. Powder and Ekko sold me completely. They made me feel things. I even liked how Ekko and Jinx's story ended. I think it was beautiful, poignant, perfect...

...until.

'The Discourse' since, the way the fan culture has exploded around it, and particularly some of the creators' commentary on it, has made me sour on the whole thing.

It feels like I'm suddenly part of an increasingly small subset of people who saw what they did with S2 Timebomb and applied our media literacy to what was on our screens and got something very different to what the fandom consensus seems to be.

For context, I semi-shipped TB before this. Though I've always been Team Lightcannon, I had a lot of respect for timebomb, I understood it, I had read a few very good fics, I was just in the space of "Jinx has hurt Ekko too much for him to ever fully forgive her for murdering his friends, they might come to an understanding, and there will always be a silent undercurrent of love beneath the hurt, they may fight together on the same side again someday, but whatever bond they had as kids is broken and they can't go back, and both know it."

I respected, and still do, people who shipped them romantically, but I've always seen them as a broken childhood friendship being a much more interesting dynamic, and being hot for each other lessening that to an extent and not really adding anything to it.

All of his interactions with Jinx in season one are violent; she murders five Firelights point-blank in front of him in her intro scene, and Ekko reacts particularly upset to the pink-haired girl, Eve or Eva, whom Jinx shoots in the back. It's clear this isn't even the first time she's fought them. We don't know how many of Ekko's found family she's put on the Memorial Wall or how close he was with any of them.

Ekko is clearly convinced that "Powder" is gone, and the person who replaced her is a cold-blooded killer who can't be reasoned with. Leading to the Bridge confrontation, and this:

This is the first time Ekko catches a glimpse of "Powder", yes, but more importantly, this is the first moment he recognizes Jinx's humanity. He's hurting her, killing her, and he can't do it.

....and she knows he can't do it.

So, to save him the weight, she pulls a grenade, with the intent to kill them both, foreshadowing quite neatly where Ekko/Jinx (but not Ekko/Powder) is going to go in S2.

Fast forwarding from Season One here, Ekko disappears for 2/3rds of the second season, completely offscreen.

When we catch up with him he's woken up in the S2E7 AU; the Powder Timeline.

Here's where I start to get a little confused by the fandom take. Because, you know, I've seen enough Star Trek and Stargate and Supernatural and Batman the Animated Series and Quantum Leap to know exactly what this is.

This is the 'bottle episode', this is the 'Perfect World' trope, where the protagonists find themselves in an alternate universe - or trapped in a dream - or they've died or think they've died and this is their 'heaven' - where they have everything they ever wanted.

This is familiar storytelling and E2 follows a familiar pattern, the protagonist struggles to adapt to the surreal new circumstances, they are seduced by the illusion, particularly falling in love with someone in the Perfect World, but eventually, they start noticing something incongruous - something isn't quite right - (In this case, it's Vi's death, and Powder holding back her genius and hiding her grief to be support girl for others) - that reveals the Perfect World to be not as perfect as it seems.

And the hero has to choose to go home, because he realizes that this isn't real, it doesn't belong to him, he doesn't belong here.

Which is exactly what happens with Ekko in E7.

Which brings is to AU!Powder and Jinx.

And here's where I really start to struggle with the seeming consensus that the romance between Ekko/Powder automatically leads to Ekko/Jinx, like you can just transfer the one to the other.

I'm sorry, fam, I thought my basic media literacy was telling me that this girl:

Is not the same person as this girl:

....and I am not getting into any debate about "Jinx" vs "Powder" as identities within our current Jinx. I'm talking about Powder in the E7 AU.

AU!Powder is literally a different human being.

She may have been the same person up until the explosion in Jayce's laboratory, but from that fork in the timeline, she becomes a FUNDAMENTALLY different person to Jinx, shaped by different experiences, different relationships, different life events.

Powder's physicality with Ekko, as you can see in those GIFs, the casual intimacy, the clear affection, the way she touches him, looks at him, her awareness of him in her space, is so utterly opposite to the way Jinx interacts with him that if anything, it nailed home to me how savagely absent this kind of feeling is from his relationship with Jinx.

Powder loves Ekko. She leans on him, snuggles into him, touches his hands, dances with him, kisses him.

Jinx cares so little about him she barely makes eye contact and would casually kill him without blinking.

And I thought that was the point.

I really thought that was the whole point of E7. Being in the perfect world, getting his perfect love story with his perfect Powder, the girl Jinx could have been, but can never be, drove home for Ekko that his feelings for Jinx, both romantic and resentful, were tangled up in his illusions of "Powder", and it took living those illusions as a physical reality for Ekko to see his mistake.

To be true to himself, and true to her, Ekko had to let that go and go home.

To face his world's Jinx, and be there for her in her darkest moment, even if it meant giving up the love he'd found with Powder, a love that belonged to a different Ekko, for someone who could never love him back.

To me that was Ekko's most heroic moment, an act of selfless sacrifice. But that's what it was - a sacrifice.

Meanwhile, Season Two Jinx is not aware of any of this. The last time she saw Ekko was on the bridge where she nearly killed him, and for all we know she might have thought she succeeded.

She never talks about, thinks about, refers to, or even has scribble-nightmares about Ekko, not even once.

Season Two Jinx is, instead, having a love story of her own.

And Isha was and is a PUZZLE to me. Because she's more plot device than character, she isn't necessary except as a way to give Jinx a villain-to-hero arc and a way to reconnect to her humanity.

But she could have been Ekko.

If they really, really wanted us to have Timebomb Canon, instead of confining the entire arc to a bottle episode in an alternate timeline with a literally, physically different girl, they could easily have given all of Isha's considerable screentime to an Ekko and Jinx romance.

I'm sure Amanda Overton would have been on board with that. But that's not what we got. It's almost like reading two different fix-it-fanfics for the same character, put into the same show and running in parallel.

I'm not crazy, this is what's happening for Ekko in s2;

While this is happening for Jinx at the same time.

But Jinx's love story, too, ends with a tragic sacrifice.

And here's where the two stories finally intersect.

When Jinx is in her darkest moment, her absolute rock bottom, Ekko comes back into her life, a miracle, impossible, a Boy Savior.

But she's still ready to kill him.

Because she didn't dance with Ekko. She didn't invent a time machine with him. She didn't sit and watch the city lights with him and share a tender kiss and a heartfelt gift.

That was Powder.

Jinx and Ekko are resuming right where they left off on the bridge, right back to "I pull this pin and we both blow up".

They've both loved and lost, but their stories are absolutely unknown to each other. Ekko Doesn't Know About Isha. Jinx Doesn't Know About Powder.

It's only when Jinx (a genius, a reminder here) sees monkeys of her own design inside the Z-drive - recognizes her own handiwork, but knows SHE didn't make those - that, I think, sheer curiosity stirs her out of her darkness.

She has to know what that was about. She hesitates, just long enough for Ekko to speak. And, though offscreen, he tells her his story, and maybe she tells him hers.

And it's enough, just enough, to set Jinx back on her Redemption Arc, to become the hero Isha always saw in her.

Maybe even the hero Vi and Ekko saw in her, too. Her new costume is full of references to all of the people in her life who never gave up on her.

(side note, the yellow stars and crowns puzzle me, though - they're quite prominent, but who are THEY for? Isha? Maybe? Yellow isn't a color associated with anyone in Jinx's life, but that crown's identical to the one she scribbled on Demacia in Fortiche's map, is... this a very subtle future Lightcannon tease? Nah. I'm not that crazy.)

I mean her costume is also almost literally both a Fishbones and a Fiddlesticks cosplay, with her hair as Fiddle's tongue, so take from that what you will.

It's clear Jinx and Ekko war painted each other for the battle, but the Firelights are also similarly painted up, and (with Linke even confirming this) there really wasn't time to develop anything else, guys.

And I am, honestly, fundamentally angry at anyone who would suggest that, even if she'd been in any space to want it, our boy Ekko, one of the most genuinely good men in recent fiction let alone in Arcane, would take advantage of a girl he just talked out of suicide.

Moving on. During the battle, Ekko is knocked out and lying not far from Jinx. She doesn't even look at him, she leaps up to defend Vi instead.

And that's their final interaction on the show.

Instead of returning to Ekko, Jinx chooses one final act of sacrifice.

Ekko's final shot of the show is this.

He's sitting, alone, burning a mourning paper, where he sat with AU!Powder - where he and AU!Powder kissed - a place that has no significance to himself and Jinx, whatsoever.

It's little wonder who he's thinking about here, and which name he's burning on that paper. The girl he truly loved and lost.

For all he knows, Jinx is dead. But it's not only her he's mourning.

Or maybe he does know, or suspect, she's alive.

But either way, he's making one final act of sacrifice, too, with that paper burning into the breeze.

He's letting her go.

He's choosing his own story.

He's staying where he belongs.

Jinx may have become a symbol of the revolution, but it's Ekko who is, and always will be, the true hero of Zaun.

And this is Jinx's final shot.

Because let's face it, we all know she's on that airship.

She's "breaking the cycle". She's "walking away". She knows that Jinx has left too many scars on the people she still loves - on Vi, on Ekko, on the cities of Piltover and Zaun - for her to pick up the pieces.

She knows that if she's going to find out what "Jinx" might stand for now, she has to go very far away from everything and everyone. She has to leave it all behind and find something new.

Maybe even someone new?

And ultimately, that's why I feel the Timebomb we got was perfect, they shouldn't touch it, they shouldn't try to force it to be "Endgame", not because it couldn't have worked, but because that's the opposite of the story they told.

For the rest of my analysis, lol, this got a bit long but i have FEELINGS.

Now, I'm not saying I wouldn't buy Jinx and Ekko as a love story if they had actually told that love story. But they didn't. It had no screen time. They have less interactions in S2, maybe even in both seasons added up, than Vi and Loris. Let that sink in a bit.

We know it's Amanda's favorite ship, so she may have intended more, and may even actually give us all more at some point, but please, dear god, let's stop pretending they fucked or kissed or even held hands offscreen.

That's honestly a bit insulting to both of these characters, to insist hell or high water that this very important milestone in their relationship happened, but they just didn't even bother to depict it. That an entire love story (because it would be a whole one, remember, Ekko and Powder had a romance but Jinx did not experience any of that, she and Ekko are back at Square One) would just be cut for time.

They both deserve better than that.

Let's stop pretending there was some grand, horny, Forever Love story with 60 minutes of cut footage, all of it timebomb content, somehow left on the cutting room floor of an animated show where every single frame has to be deliberately hand painted.

Because if in some insane universe they had written, storyboarded, voice acted and animated an entire 60 minute additional timebomb storyline and then cut it from the show, that would itself be a searing indictment of the quality of the storytelling in that imagined arc, but that's not what happened. Anyone who knows how filmmaking works would shoot this one down, and the showrunners already have, so let's leave it behind.

I know Timebomb blew up hard, and I get it, but what we got on the screen is not confirmation that there is any relationship at all between Ekko and Current Timeline Jinx. If anything, Ekko and Powder's beautiful romance only highlighted the tragic 'never to be' of Ekko and Jinx.

And it's absolutely fine to look at the art book, look at the creator comments, and imagine what could have been. Draw the fan art, write the fanfic, imagine the what-ifs and the fix-its, those are all beautiful and valid expressions and deserve their space.

But don't go insisting it's "the canon" and going after the shippers of other ships for these characters as "not canon" or somehow offensive theirs, some ships that, yes, have been around much longer than timebomb, is uncool.

I think this is mostly people who are New From Arcane, it's Baby's First Ship and they don't know how to share space. The timebomb fans I knew pre-season two didn't do this, at least not often enough for me to notice or care.

But I'll just say to them, if a Timebomb follow up happens and they actually tell a good love story for Ekko and Jinx, I will accept it. Grudgingly, because I think Lux/Jinx is an untold, untapped story full of incredible character dynamics that would complete Jinx's story in ways that as much as I love Ekko, he's too tied to her past, he can't.

But I love Ekko, and I love Jinx, and I will accept it.

But I'll also say to them, if the followup doesn't eventuate, if things take a turn you don't expect, if Jinx's airship is heading for Demacia, maybe they'll have to experience just a taste of what it's been like for Lightcannon fans for ten long years.

And maybe that's healthy. Maybe that's okay. Maybe our endgames don't need to be 'canon' to have value and that's a lesson we should learn.

Maybe there's a new Light on her horizon, and that's okay too. Maybe Ekko won't be alone forever. Don't forget - until Arcane - his story had nothing to do with Jinx, and there was a whole lot of it.

More with the firelights, the lost children of Zaun, his inventions, his parents, all could yet be in his future. Who knows? He might find a way back to AU!Powder - or she might rebuild what they worked on together, and come to him, no matter what butterfly effects that could set in motion...

But if Jinx is heading for a Light on her horizon, maybe Ekko might Explore some of his possibilities. Find a new Spark of connection. Just saying. Jinx isn't his only ship, either 😌

And it is okay for people to move on, and let go. Maybe, for two characters whose themes are letting go of the past, living in the moment, redefining their identities, and moving on, that's what their story should be.

[gd-dollopole]

Just wanted to point out how interesting the choice of the directors has been here:

to shift the camera to very specific people when Lancelot makes his speech as to why he wants to serve Arthur as a knight in the episode, “The coming of Arthur” (season 3, episode 12).

When Lancelot says, “Justice” and, “Honour”, the camera immediately shifts to Arthur. That’s what the king stands for. That’s why Lancelot and Gwaine and everyone else, although sceptical, decides to serve their king. For these are his values:

Although Lancelot says that Arthur has thought him to fight for freedom, which is in part true, since he had shown him kindness and strength and mercy, even against the strongest enemy, the moment Lancelot says it, he turns to Merlin:

and the camera shifts to him:

Merlin looks at Lancelot with hope in his eyes, for he sees the future Arthur might bring, for he knows Lancelot understands what this might mean and bring for him and his people too, for those with magic, and Lancelot is more than happy to see it through, and help him along the way, and if that means to serve Arthur, for Merlin to be free, Lancelot is more than willing to accept.

They both know something the others don’t:

Lancelot is serving Merlin too, without saying it, simply because he can’t. To Lancelot, it was Merlin who thought him the value of freedom and courage: “You’re the one Arthur should knight. You’re the bravest of us all, and he doesn’t even know.”

But most importantly and heartbreaking at the same time, it’s the end. Lancelot says, “And all that’s good”,

and the camera shifts to Guinevere:

The choice of words is interesting.

Guinevere is, “all that’s good”. If her and Lancelot has to be like Arthur and Merlin, then they really are, “two sides of the same coin”.

Guinevere is the one who reminded Lancelot to fight, to live better, because he deserves it, because he’s a good man, because he loves her like no one ever did. He was there for Guinevere since the first moment. But it’s also not only referred to Lancelot, isn’t it? After all, Guinevere is more than an attachment to another character.

Once again, Guinevere is all that’s good.

Gwen is what remains of Camelot’s growth.

She is the daughter of a Blacksmith.

She is not only vital for the city, but she was thought to be patient, kind, generous and to be helpful towards those in need. She helped Camelot’s citizens during the siege with Morgana by sharing food that she didn’t have, and she never asked for any later.

She forgave Arthur’s sins and mistakes, although that would have meant a life of perpetual loneliness and worry towards those she loved.

She could have betrayed Arthur and Camelot in a second, if it meant she would have lived, but she had preferred to lose her friend and to stand for what was right.

She fought for Camelot, for her friends, with a sword, with her words, against Agravaine, and even Uther. She never backed down, and by doing so, she was able to help her father, her brother.

Merlin’s loyalty is admirable, but so is Gwen’s.

She is, and always will be, “all that’s good.”

And Lancelot is ready to serve Camelot’s queen, even if he may not be her king. He loved her enough to be able to do that, they respected each other, and that was all they needed.

Lancelot is such a brilliant character.

Not only he shows what he stands for each episode he’s in, but he brings with him everything that he learned in the past episodes too.

I must admit that among each character in the show, Merlin and Arthur included, Lancelot is perhaps the most constant one.

He knows what his values are, and he knows who he has to thank for them.

And it’s bittersweet to know that he died too soon, that he wasn’t able to see, even if small, the actual change Arthur brought to his reign, that he couldn’t be there for Guinevere as a friend when she felt lonely as a queen, to help Merlin with his destiny when he felt hopeless thinking everything he had helped Arthur build may have fallen.

The directors knew what they were doing, and this is one of the many reasons this show attracts me completely.

It may be wrong under so many aspects, but the way the choices for the camera movements, the little facial features, along the dialogues were made, are such an important part of BBC Merlin that makes this TV show stand out amongst the rest, and it has to be appreciated.

[silliest-sideblog]

New Years Kiss

Pairing: Etho/Tango

Length: 1k words

A/N: It's technically New Years here already and I wanted to post this before people are heading out. So here's another little Slabtek fic, this time for new years eve!

Technically it's set after my other fic "Just a little distraction" but it's not relevant. I just wanted to write something indulgent for the holidays.

Happy New Years everyone, hope I can get even more writing done next year!

Etho and Tango sit in the reiling of the steampunk blimp that looms above Tango's still unfinished factory, looking towards where Cub is hosting a large fireworks show with the help of some of the others. There's food and people are talking and laughing.

Almost everyone is there, but not these two.

Of course they love their friends and enjoy spending time with them but it's already so noisy and crowded at times and right now they prefer the quiet of it all. Plus Tango insists the view from up here is so much better than being up close.

They sit, legs dangling, and just watch over the server for a while. It's a comfortable silence around them, without the need to fill it.

Tango got out his notepad occasionally to write down some idea or another that went through his head, telling Etho about it as he writes.

Neither of them has a clock on them and they don't know how late it is.

Eventually, Etho breaks the silence."So when do we get sappy and talk about the past year?"

The smile is audible in his voice and Tango doesn't even need to look up to see the way his eyes crinkle slightly alongside it.

"We don't have to if you don't wanna" he just offers in return. Neither of them is the type for this kind of stuff anyway.

Etho shrug and they sit in silence once more but now that Etho mentioned it once, Tango is of course thinking about it anyway.

"It sure was a year. Thought I would've gotten more done" Tango sighs. He's now looking down at his unfinished factory. "Thought I'd at least have that thing done a bit more done by now. Instead I spent half the year in a hole and the other half fixing this mess." he laughs sorely.

Etho gently kicks against his boot.

"You got everyone addicted to your game. Again." he throws in and Tango knows that it's not just to cheer him up.

"Only took me what? 5 months? And even then it was kind of a mess. All the bugs and so much that went wrong..."

A beat later, "Sorry. Didn't want to spend the last few minutes of the year being miserable" Tango says but he can't help the slight smile in his voice because Etho knows how he is. And Tango knows that Etho doesn't mind; that sometimes Tango needs to talk himself down, let out an annoyed sigh at himself and get to it. But there's not really a getting to it now on New Year's now, is there?

But the sigh already helps enough.

"What about you? Happy with this one?" Tango asks, changing the subject away from himself. Funny thing how neither of them can stand bring the focus for too long.

"Sure, could say that." Etho says but doesn't really elaborate.

Many good things have happened for the both of them. They made games for their friends and had the joy of watching them play and laugh. Struggle and get better.

Etho got over himself and built a roof for his house, something he's at least decently happy with.

Tangos factory is, despite the flaws he's deeply unhappy with, quite the impressive piece of redstone work.

The time they spent with everyone, laughing and learning from each other, watching their friends grow and live alongside them.

Neither of them says it out loud but that's what's been filling this year for them.

Another thing they don't say out loud, not earlier, not right now, is them. For a few months now they have been closer than ever before and since that one afternoon in the redstone of Hungry Hermits...

Things have changed between them, kisses have been stolen away, nights spent at the others, mostly Etho's, base; Tango's starter house being mostly unused at this point.

Still they haven't talked about it. Why would they? It's not like that would change anything.

Or it would. It would put expectations up, and Tango doesn't know if he's ready for that.

What would Etho even expect from him? Dates? Kissing? To tell other people?

Tango is lost in his own thoughts, he barely hears Etho's question.

"How long do you think we still have till midnight?"

"Huh?" Tango looks up at him, taking a moment to register the question and as his brain catches up and he wants to reply, the fireworks are beginning to light up the night sky.

And Tango can't take his eyes off Etho, his face illuminated by the flickering lights all over the night sky.

What would be expected of them? Shouldn't they kiss now?

Does it matter what's expected of them?

"Happy new year, Etho" Tango says with a bright smile as he realizes it doesn't matter.

He can see Etho return the expression, see it in his eyes, his eyebrows, the way his cheeks move under the mask.

Carefully, Tango reaches out and pulls on the fabric and Etho doesn't stop him. He never has.

Slowly their lips meet, as if they're making this something special.

Tango smiles into the kiss. He wouldn't have expected to be the type of person who enjoys something as dumb as a kiss on new years but here he is. And he wouldn't have it any other way.

Of course it feels silly and cheesy and neither of them really need it. But maybe that is part of the charm.

Once Tango pulls back he cant stop grinning at Etho. And that grin doesn't vanish when the taller one starts leaning his head on Tango's shoulder, slouching slightly to get comfortable.

Tango's tail wraps around his waist affectionately and he hears Etho say quietly, "Happy New Year, Tango."

[my-rose-tinted-glasses]

Rose Recaps 2024 - Thailand

Started with Korea and now not it's Thailand's turn. At some point this year, talking about one of this year's thai bls, I wrote something like, that show was gonna join a much contested category, the 'it could've been so good if only it didn't lose itself and went completely off the rails in the second half' category. I also wrote something similar in my Thailand recap for 2023. So it seems not a lot has changed since then. So many times this year, by the time I finished shows, all I could think was, it could've been so good, if only... And although these are my favourite shows of the year, most of them are not without their issues. Also, before anyone get's too upset, Thailand is not alone in that particular category, there are more than enough shows across all the different countries that can fight for this title. With all that said, let's recap my favourite bls from Thailand 2024.

The one with the Thai magic - Cherry Magic Thailand

As far as bl adaptations from different countries go, I think we can all agree that no one did it better. It was a smart adaptation that managed to keep the spirit of the source material and still make it their own with some really clever and culturally appropriate changes. TayNew were at their best and continue to be one of my favourite pairs. This is probably my favourite thai bl of the year, with the only negative point being the forbidden dating rule change from the source material that I wasn't a fan personally. I think in general it's a lazy obstacle to put in a romance and one we've seen enough of. By far my favourite change they made was Karan's singing. It was refreshing especially in a thai bl. Of course, I couldn't not mention Tay Tawan. One of the reasons I love the character of Kurosawa/Karan in all versions is that dichotomy of someone so put together but then inside their heads they are just such dorks in love. And Tay managed to portrait that beautifully.

Favourite Moment

Did I mention how much I love him? This is why. He just fully embraced the magic and it was incredible.

The one where they talk. To each other. - Cooking Crush

By far my favourite thing about this show is how great communicators they all are. Ten and Prem actually talk to each other when something is bothering them. Even the separation was something they agreed on. They made decisions together. I love Dynatime & Fire so damn much but I won't get into that because better things have been written about them that I could ever do in this post. You can find it all in @waitmyturtles post; @lurkingshan post @bengiyo post; @twig-tea post. And the friends. I forgot them on my best friendship list and I will never forgive myself. I love how supportive and meddling they all are and The Three Must-Eat-eers fight felt particularly real to me. I had such a good time watching this show.

Favourite Moment:

Ok. It wasn't this particular moment per se, but most of episode 8 and one of the reasons that despite not being perfect, this show will always be great to me. I started to write but it got too long, so I'll just say this. I get so annoyed sometimes with the way misunderstanding plots and shallow conflicts get dragged for way too many episodes, because characters don't talk to each other, that watching communication break down and be resolved in the same episode by having them talk to each other made me so happy. And it would be easy in this particular episode to make things worse not better, but the show avoided all that because they were good communicators all along. So for all the times I'm screaming to my screen 'TALK TO EACH OTHER, this deserves the same amount of screaming for doing it right.

The one with the cuteness - Only Boo!

This show had its issues. The whole plot about the agency was contrived, the sides dragged unnecessarily, and I'm not even gonna get into the Shone character or the mother. But damn, they are so freaking cute. I rewatched this one recently and I still smiled through most of it, which is more than I can say for other shows. So it's a win in my book.

Favourite Moment

I'm basic. I'm a sucker for a public confession in a bl. And they suffered to get here and so did I. Also this - Moo: "Kang you. Kang you the most". The cutest.

The one with the sex ed - Knock Knock Boys

My favourite things about this show were the friends, those relationships felt genuine, and the conversations around sex and consent. It's important and refreshing to have these types of conversations in a bl. Or really any show for that matter. I don't think it was a perfect show, imo it stumbled a couple of times, but it was one of my favourites weekly watches of the year. Both couples delivered compelling moments. I loved both of the girls, Lukpeach and Jane and what they brought to the story.

Favourite Moment:

The one where they didn't have sex. Latte realized that it wasn't what Almond wanted or needed in that moment and stopped himself. I love their friendship first and foremost. And in that moment Almond needed a friend, and not to get laid.

The one with the photocopier - The Trainee

I love the friendships. I love the growth of the individual characters and how they helped each other through it all. I love the message that you don't have to have everything figured out to have value, and it's okay to not have a "dream". I laughed at all the silly, I swooned over Jane and we collectively lost our minds over a hand gesture. I giggled over paper messages and cheered for the fries speech and got angry at Jane at the end. But this show had problems. The Bahmee/Judy storyline never really seemed to fit here. I never understood Judy's side of things and it didn't work specially in contrast with Jane/Ryan. And the time skip. I mean, 5 years? I mean I would wait for Jane forever, but there are these convenient things like mobiles, and laptops and a thousand messaging apps you can use to keep in touch. There's no actual excuse for this behaviour. I needed more grovelling. Like way more. And perhaps a reasonable explanation. But it's okay, I forgive you Jane. You so pretty.

Favourite Moment:

Not only was this moment beautiful, but the whole conversation before with Ryan asking to Jane to call himself Phi forever, was so cute. Also the office flirting. Such a great moment.

The one with the BLs inside the BL, inside the BL - Every You Every Me

I adored this show. I love the progression of the stories, all the ways they used the tropes, sometimes to hilarious effect, and how differently it was shot through the different episodes. The concept is refreshing and one of the reasons this show works so well is definitely the leads. They have solid chemistry that can keep you invested through the different stories and characters. It stumbled and it rushed the final and 'real' couple but as a whole this was an original and charming show that I will be rewatching more than once for sure.

Favourite Moment:

It made me laugh so hard. No, but seriously. These two episodes were great. The carrot, the nail polish, the lack of shirts, the communication about sex. So much joy.

Honorable mentions: The one I would always like, even if I didn't - Jack & Joker YinWar came back. That's enough of a reason for me to be glad this show exists. They are still great together. The show, not so great. But you know, they were in charge and did the show they wanted to do, so good for them. Hopefully we get something else from them soon. The one with the cutest penguin - Caged Again Please, I'm begging the bl gods. Please please please, stick the landing. It's been said a million times before, but the fact that a show with this premise is one of my favourite weekly watches, will never not sound crazy to me.

Well, that's it for Thailand. See you next time with Japan. 💜

[rayofmisfortune]

Realized I've never really provided context for this? Or I may have lmao. Anywho found the context to this doodle in my notes app and may as well post it hehe

The drabble and au by extension take place after a video from nearly a year ago at this point. I'm not at all caught up to the current events. There are some mentions of things that make no real sense show-wise but they are connected to a one-shot I had written for this au, sort of a prequel-ish thing before everything went to shitz. No real need to read it, but it provides some more context to why Solare is going off at Wamoon here. The fic if anyone's interested.

Anyway without further ado, le ✨context✨

"Are you sure the exit's this way?"

"As sure as any other of the dozen times you've asked, I'm losing more and more hope of ever getting out with each time you ask me, Moon."

"Right, right."

The two trapped attendants round yet another of the labyrinth's corners. Each turn and twist of the path diminishing their spirits more.

Moon batted at the watery end of his nightcap. "I just hope that when we get out it won't be to find out Ruin's crazy face leering down at us."

Solar's shoulders stiffened at the mention of Ruin. They were the one reason they were even trapped in here. Though he can't really blame them. They couldn't have known their rescue mission would turn into such a disaster. He really hoped they were okay.

"I hope they're okay."

"Who? Sun and the others back home?" Moon tilted himself, manhandling his watery nightcap. It got too close to brushing Solar again.

The firey attendant peered around a corner. "Those too, but I was more so thinking of Ruin."

Moon swatted at Solar's gloved hand. "Psssh. Why him? If I'm being real with you, I don't trust 'em farther than I can throw 'em. Which..." he considered, "is rather far." Moon shock his head as if to shake the wrongly used expression away. "What I mean is, I don't trust him. Don't you see how suspicious it is that Eclipse comes back shortly AFTER you're knocked out. The only person there to witness the whole thing didn't see anyone and was SITTING with you for an hour waiting for you to wake up? Ruin's been there with you unconscious long enough to copy over your files to use to make Eclipse."

The exit/entrance was down a darkened hall. Hopefully no... lurkers would jump them before they can get to it. It's all been rather peaceful thus far.

Solar turned around to look Moon in the eye. He shook the hand Moon batted at previously. The leather helps with avoding any pain reactions, though it does still leave a slight sting. "No, no I don't."

Moon sputtered. "Wha- wh- you can't be serious. Did he brain wash you while he had you knocked out as well?" He adds on in a mutter. "I'll have to check your systems for any out of place protocols..."

"No, no THEY didn't. Don't think I can't hear you, you will be doing no such thing." Solar was trying to hold back from raising his voice. Moon's been going on and on about Ruin betraying them. He's been TRYING not to snap, keep his promise to Ruin. He really was. And he'd been doing a stellar job at it. As seen in the lunar bot openly doubting said merged AI.

He'd had enough. He'd had enough of this. "It's them, not him. For one."

Moon's vocalizer stuttered, getting a retort ready. Solar shushed him before he could even think of opening his mouth. "No, no no shut UP for once and let me talk." Solar ran his hands over his face. "You are SUCH a hypocrite, you know? You have no proof of them working on something behind your back, but EVERY proof of them just trying to reach out and help. Yet you turn them down or send them away at EVERY TURN. Do you know what happened on Christmas Day? Why I left?"

"I just thought you w-"

"No, no let me FINISH!" The flames around Solar's head flared up. "I went up there, because I saw Ruin watching us from the balcony. You know, at first I thought they were spying on us to gain some form of information out of it, as you kept on hammering in my head at EVERY chance you got! No, no that wasn't why they were there. You wanna know WHY?"

"Why was he th-"

"THEY were there because THEY were LONELY, Moon! They came to the Daycare to help YOU with clean up." Solar jabbed a finger into Moon's chest. "And you wanna know the best part? The COMPUTER ITSELF told them where we were! Would it do that with someone who has bad intentions? NO! NO IT WOULDN'T!"

Moon glared at Solar through the rim of his hat. "That DOESN'T prove anything, Solar! They could have even the computer fooled!"

"Ooohoho, doesn't it? If I'm going by your oh so SOUND logic. Then by all means, I would be in the right to assume you're not some new guy, with no knowledge of past events. But just the Old Moon pretending to have gone through a memory wipe! Taking enjoyment in making everyone fumble to keep him in the loop of things when they're all in deep SHIT! Taking the chance to throw all his misdeeds into some personality he calls the Old Moon."

Solar took a step back. "No, no, what you did. Was throw a person clearly struggling to come to terms with the situation they suddenly found themself in to the wolves. The first chance you got, you threw them under the bus. Discarded them like an unwanted TOY. And then you're SURPRISED when they distance themself when they clearly see they aren't wanted..."

Solar turned around, back towards the next exit. He took in an artificial breath. "I hope you're proud of yourself."

Solar didn't look back. The automatic door activated by his elemental signature to let him through. He had his fists tightly clenched, shivering in barely held restraint. He waded through a pool of lava. If he looked at Moon's face any longer, he's sure he would've done something he'd regret.

Moon stood in the empty corridor. Speechless. Thoughts running through his mind so fast he couldn't focus on a single string of thought. Was... was Solar right?

Some future stuff for the au

✨No context✨

[kamimarroco]

this was supposed to be shorter, but i ended up exaggerating. also posting now because i really don't know if i would have the courage to do it during the day while aware of the mistakes that the story has :)

high chance that at some point I will delete it, or not. anyway

Words: almost 900

you find yourself sprawled across the grand, uncomfortably soft bed in the room, your gaze fixed on the luxurious ceiling, distracted by the figures drawn above. the blanket is too low to even cover your feet, the cold of the night hitting your skin protected only by the fabric of your pajamas.

you look to the side and see Fox curled up on part of the bed, his back turned to you and the upper half of his body completely exposed, unlike the lower half. you feel tempted, a desire you haven't felt for a while.

it wouldn't hurt to try, right?

you put boredom aside and decide to make the effort to get closer to him, being careful so that he doesn't notice the changes in weight on the bed. you get close enough to have him within arm's reach, reaching out to gently run your fingers over Fox's fur. your skin instantly picks up the capillaries, not so bold as to actually touch, but enough to feel something. your eye widens, your cheeks slightly burning, and then you move.

you run your fingers down his back, feeling his fur, tracing the scars that adorn his age-affected skin, noticing the details that you never took the time to pay due attention to. it's interesting, and most importantly, it's something to keep your mind busy. 

you lower your fingertips, and lower and lower, getting close to the part of the body where his tail starts, about to feel-

“what are you doing?", comes a harsh, deep and authoritative voice, and perhaps above all, angry.

your wrist is violently grabbed by one of Fox's hands, stopping your activity of exploring his body, your gaze seconds later moving to meet his. furrowed brows deepen the wrinkles that decorate his face, amber eyes glaring furiously at you. 

he didn't expect you to do that.

“nothing. i'm just touching you”, you answer honestly with a calm and collected attitude, not realizing the need to lie about something so small that was more than obvious. 

“touching me? without my permission?”, the way he takes great offense at your little act is ironic when you remember that he scourges your body until you open up, not caring about your consent or the pain inflicted on you.

it's strange, of course. you never had a good relationship with Fox, let alone initiate something as intimate as simply touching him while he sleeps. it's weird when you two point your nails and teeth at each other at least most of the time.

“i was just trying to do something good”

“oh, really? you, who never accepted my affections or showed gratitude for keeping you alive?”

you feel as if a thousand arrows have been aimed at your heart and shot all at once, the discomfort is too real for you to let go, but you really don't want to let it show.

“okay. yeah, fine. have it your way", you quickly remove your wrist from his grip, his gaze never leaving you even as you begin to distance yourself, returning to your spot on the bed, away from him and still without the blanket. you don't hear him say anything or feel him move from his spot, but you know he continues to watch you with distrust.

you turn your back and close your eye, trying to fall asleep as you curl up into yourself, the cold that afflicts you no longer just physical, but emotional.

you don't know how many minutes pass, but when your eyelid threaten to cover your vision, you feel something envelop your body. warm, soft, and furry.

not only does the warm, soft fabric of the blanket catch you, but someone else's body does too. you feel Fox's claws caressing your arm lightly, his chest pressed against your back. you feel his breathing behind you, controlled, not really relaxed. 

“i don't know why you did that", he whispers, the tone lower than the one he usually uses. “you've never done it before, why now?”

do you really need a reason for what you did?

“i don't know. i wanted something different. i wanted something that wasn't just fighting or hate sex”, you open the only eye you have to look at the wall, not finding the strength to turn your head and see him. “maybe i was actually trying to do something good”

you can't fool yourself into thinking that this doesn't sound weird. Fox, then, has every reason to doubt you even more. and yet, your voice sounds genuine, not with the intention of deceiving.

perhaps a part of you really wants to make your relationship more pleasant, despite the intrigues that often come to light countless times. or maybe you're just tired of fighting for something over and over and over again. a genuinely true change would not be terrible, quite the contrary.

"i kind of liked how you touched my body," Fox confesses quietly, warming up to you in both a literal and figurative sense. his claws no longer seem to awaken a fight-or-flight instinct within you. "you really seemed fascinated by it…"

in one of the rare moments, you can tolerate and, incredibly, appreciate each other's presence, so different from the dynamics you usually have. it's refreshing in a way you can't put into words

even if you know that this will not last