#they have different calls for different threats
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takeyourcyanide · 1 day ago
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they were already incredibly suspicious to me, every last one of those supposed “professionals.” i think I’m more suspicious than I ever was now - somehow that was possible. I’m even more apprehensive, perhaps even fearful.
solidarity between people who want to take psychiatric meds to function and those who don’t.
What’s important is that we both have autonomy, informed consent and safe access to treatments we want, and to not be forced, coerced or pressured into those we don’t.
#yes yes yes#I feel so trapped right now - it seems I might be able to cancel the appointment and hopefully take nothing but if I’m unable to I think-#-that will be my final straw#horrifying for me. interacting with psychiatry at the age the body is at is traumatizing - traumatizing at any age though perhaps I’m being#-dramatic. I don’t think so though.#my experiences have been less than decent so far - for the most part#plus they tended to want me on medication out of simple stigmatized lenses#they were more concerned about the fact that I even experienced something such as supposed hallucinations (GASP) than my actual experiences#it’s difficult to word but I’ll speak more and hopefully organize my thoughts in a later post#psychiatry isn’t here to help it’s here to put everyone in a single file line - they mentioned me not being normal enough essentially#I’ll elduicate more in a later post#but I was forced and am being forced with the looming threat of long term hospitalization though I will hopefully be able to get out of it#that threat is now always hanging over my head#they forced me and it ended up fucking with a health condition I already have along with general side effects#the courts almost got involved while the impostor was trying to get me out of there because they didn’t want to release me#despite it being an unhelpful place just like every mental hospital. I feel even more ‘unsafe’ as they call it and tempted to run now.#I don’t trust the medicine I’m afraid of it and having threats held over my head it all felt sort of like mind rape - to be dramatic again#it doesn’t matter how much I express how afraid of them I am they don’t understand and I have other reasons besides my suspicion as to why#-I don’t wish to take them. the fact that the body can’t tolerate them for example. not wanting to be forced. the forcing makes me panic.#it’s mind rape. not to mention even despite the inability to tolerate he still wanted to try an antipsychotic down the line - which is not#going to happen. no medicine. I’m not trying anything. I’d be more open if there weren’t threats over my head and I weren’t being forced#but I don’t want any at all. I have my reasons - they want me to take it for medically induced suicide purposes as well - what I mentioned#earlier/ not being normal enough for their standards and being how they even on a subconscious level view me as a dirty schizo#who needs to be fixed so I don’t want them for that as well#I haven’t rambled about it much yet until now but it feels like mind rape to me even if that’s dramatic I don’t generally experience the#instinct to cry and still I cried multiple different times over this shit over being forcefully kept in a bad facility that wouldn’t even#give me my physical meds and did nothing for health conditions so the body dehydrated horribly and shit and some of the staff were pretty#rude too it was just a bad experience not as bad as lobotomy I know but I couldn’t stand it and being forced the threats all the threats#made sure to try and keep myself in check for that reason but the threats of long term if I wasn’t compliant enough I don’t want to be sent#away I want to be left alone I want freedom I want a break I want a hug (?) I want to be away from all impostors I want to disappear
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thesecondhandwoman · 2 days ago
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A CLOSE CALL
Sevika x f!reader
Summary: Sevika was always used to being the saver, never the one saved. But when she went on a mission with you, and it suddenly went south, she experienced opposite roles for the first time.
Request: @veasvka
Sevika was used to danger. She’d built her life on it, thrived in it, and learned to fight her way out of any corner. Missions for Silco were usually straightforward: go in, get what he wanted, leave a mess behind. This time should have been no different.
It wasn’t.
The stolen shimmer was in their hands, but the ambush had been waiting. Fists, blades, and bullets tore through the warehouse as the fight escalated far beyond what Sevika anticipated.
And, for the first time in years, she hadn’t seen it coming.
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It happened so fast that she didn’t realize at first. Her mechanical arm swung forward, pulverizing the face of some unfortunate bastard. Blood sprayed, her eyes locked on the next threat. But she didn’t see the man behind her, moving silently, blade raised high, aimed for the base of her neck.
She heard a shout—your voice—cutting through the chaos.
“Sevika!”
A split second later, she felt the impact. Not the blade piercing her skin, but the weight of your body hitting hers, followed by the sickening sound of steel cutting into flesh.
Her stomach dropped.
She spun just in time to catch you as you fell, the blade slipping free from your side. Blood poured from the wound, staining her gloves as she cradled you against her. “No,” she breathed, her voice shaking with fury and panic. “No, no, no.”
Your face twisted in pain, your hand clutching weakly at her vest. “Got you… covered,” you gasped, trying to smile.
“You idiot!” she barked, though her voice cracked. Her heart pounded as she pressed her hand against the wound, trying to staunch the bleeding. “You didn’t need to do that!”
The attackers were retreating now, frightened by her rage as her mechanical arm lit up with a menacing hum. But none of that mattered. Only you mattered.
“I couldn’t let them…” you choked, coughing weakly. “You’re too important.”
Sevika froze at your words, the weight of them crashing down on her like a tidal wave. “Stop talking,” she snapped, though her voice softened, her tone desperate. “Save your strength.”
You didn’t argue, but your hand found hers, squeezing weakly before your eyes fluttered closed.
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The trip back to the Last Drop was a blur. Sevika carried you, her teeth gritted against the rising panic in her chest. Vander’s medics worked quickly, but they couldn’t hide the grim expressions on their faces as they fought to stabilize you.
She stayed by your side the entire time.
Hours passed, and the night crept on. Sevika sat in the corner of the room, her head in her hands, replaying the moment over and over. The sight of you falling, the sound of your pained gasp—it all gnawed at her. She’d faced death countless times, but the idea of your death? That was unbearable.
She should’ve protected you. That was her job, wasn’t it? She was the shield, the one who took the hits. But now? You’d taken one for her, and it made her feel hollow. Weak.
She glanced up at you, lying still in the bed, your breaths shallow but steady.
“You’re not allowed to leave me,” she muttered, her voice barely audible.
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The next morning, you woke slowly, your body heavy and your side burning with pain. You blinked against the dim light, your head turning to see Sevika slouched in a chair beside you, her metal arm resting on the table, her flesh hand holding yours.
“Sevika?” you rasped.
Her head shot up, her eyes wide with a mixture of relief and anger. She leaned forward, gripping your hand tighter. “You’re awake,” she said, her voice rough with emotion.
“Yeah,” you replied, your voice weak. “Hurts like hell, though.”
“Good,” she snapped, though the corners of her mouth twitched. “Serves you right for pulling a stupid stunt like that.”
You smiled faintly, your gaze softening as you looked at her. “You would’ve done the same for me.”
“That’s different,” she growled, pulling her hand away to rake it through her hair. “I’m supposed to protect you, not the other way around.”
“Sevika…” Your voice was gentle, but firm. “You’re not invincible. I wasn’t going to let you die.”
Her jaw clenched, her gaze dropping to the floor. “You don’t get it,” she said quietly. “I can’t…” She stopped, exhaling sharply. “I can’t lose you. Do you know what that would do to me?”
You reached out, your fingers brushing against her metal arm. “You didn’t,” you said softly.
Her shoulders sagged, her usual confidence stripped away. “This can’t happen again,” she said, her voice cracking slightly. “I don’t care what happens to me, but you? I can’t—”
You squeezed her arm, silencing her. “We take care of each other,” you said firmly. “That’s what this is. That’s what we are.”
Sevika stared at you for a long moment before sighing heavily. She leaned forward, resting her forehead against the edge of your bed. “You’re too damn stubborn,” she muttered.
“Look who’s talking,” you teased, earning a small, shaky laugh from her.
She lifted her head, her expression softer now. “Just… promise me something,” she said. “No more heroics. Let me take the hits, okay?”
You hesitated before nodding. “Deal, but only in understandable circumstances .”
Slightly satisfied, Sevika leaned back in her chair, the tension in her body easing slightly. She reached out, brushing a strand of hair from your face with surprising tenderness.
“Get some rest,” she murmured. “I’ll be here.”
You gently smiled, giving a final nod before slowly closing your eyes and sinking back into slumber. And the only thing that was truly letting you rest was the fact that you knew she would be there when you woke up, like always.
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heavyhitterheaux · 3 days ago
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Hello
See Me Through You Series
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You had me at hello
Synopsis: The day that you met the love of your life and didn't realize it until almost a year later
Series Masterlist
Stepping onto the sidewalk as you had just left the building where your journalism class had just ended, your phone suddenly vibrated in your back pocket. It took you a minute to grab it, seeing as both of your hands were occupied at the moment. Doing a balancing act with your purse, backpack, keys and your binder that contained your notes, but was too big to fit in your backpack, you finally had a free hand.
Pulling it out of your back pocket, you saw it was your younger twin brother by three minutes Ja'Marr calling on facetime and took no hesitation to answer it. This was his fifth call to you today and knew that about four more would come your way and the worst part about it was that it wasn't even noon.
Not that you were upset about it. If your little brother called and needed you, he always became the priority and everything would be dropped at that very moment.
“What does your ugly ass want?” You asked him as his face came into view. He promptly rolled his eyes and sucked his teeth before saying anything. You could tell that he was in the gym and was probably waiting on you to get there since you had promised to work out with him.
“If I'm ugly, so are you because we're twins, stupid!”
“No, that's what mom and dad tell you but they actually found you in a dumpster and felt sorry for you and took you in.” You told him as you laughed and started to make your way back to your car to head to your apartment that was off campus.
It was only a few miles down the road which you were thankful for and the good part is that you could also drive home to see your parents on the weekends if you wanted to.
You were relieved when Ja'Marr decided to attend LSU with you because the two of you had never been apart in your entire lives. Deep down you knew that you would have eventually adjusted to him not being at the same college as you, but also glad that you didn't have to go that route.
“Y/N!”
“Just kidding! What do you need assistance with, little one?”
“Little one? I'm 6’1 and you are BARELY 5 feet on a good day. Try again.”
You were suddenly taken aback as you saw someone come into the frame behind him and did a double take once you recognized who it was.
Growing up in a sports filled household, college football as well as the NFL was not foreign to you. You watched both of them and knew players as well as their stats forwards and backwards. So to your surprise, you were actually seeing him in real time. You heard of the transfer happening, but it was different seeing him right in front of you.
So the rumors were true, he was really here.
Joe Burrow
Who used to play for Ohio State apparently was now playing for LSU.
“Ja'Marr, I will hang up. State your business or move on.”
“I thought you were supposed to meet me at the gym to work out AND bring my headphones that I know for a fact you stole.”
“YOU CAN'T PROVE IT!”
“Hmm, funny. I recall you asking me to use them last week and I haven't seen them since.”
“I threw them away.”
“WHY DO YOU ALWAYS DEMAND ON STRESSING ME OUT? And I have someone here I want you to meet.”
“Who?”
“Will you just hurry up and get here and stop arguing with me!? I can pick your ass up and throw you across the room.”
“Hmm, sounds like a threat. I'm calling mommy. Bye.”
“Uh hold on, WAIT! DON'T CALL HER!”
Click.
Once back in your apartment, you quickly changed into your pink and black Fabletics workout set with your matching HOKAS and went on the search not only for Ja'Marr's headphones, but also yours. Since he let you borrow his, you didn’t bother trying to find yours even though you know you should have.
The both of you worked out with each other several times a week and it was important seeing as he played football and you were on the gymnastics team with your best friend, Erin.
Putting your curly hair into a high bun since you didn’t have time to straighten it this morning, you grabbed your wallet, water bottle, and keys before making your way back down to your car and heading to the gym.
Walking inside, you spotted him along with Joe in the corner next to the weight rack and promptly came up behind him and attempted to pick him up as you saw Joe's face giving a small smirk because of the gesture. You admit that you didn't realize how tall Joe actually was and you noticed that he was taller than Ja'Marr when they stood next to one another.
“HEY! Oh, it's just you. Joe, my big little sister by three minutes and she will never let you forget it, Y/N and Y/N this is Joe. And you are never going to be able to pick me up.” He told you while patting the top of your head as you were now trying to pick up his left leg.
“Just you watch. It's going to happen one day when you least expect it. Anyway, Hi Joe, and Ja'Marr you should know better. I already know who you are.” You told him and he looked a little confused before greeting you.
“Hey, you do gymnastics right? I saw you compete over the summer.”
You smiled before nodding, taken aback that he knew who you were also. Not a lot of attention was put on gymnastics unless it was during the Olympics. Your goal was to go to Tokyo in 2020.
“Didn't take you for a gymnastics type of guy.” You replied while attempting to fix your hair that had now fallen out of the bun you put it in. You blamed it on not being tight enough the first time.
“It's entertaining to watch.”
“Hmm, because of the outfits?” You asked as you were trying to feel him out and you could've swore you heard Ja'Marr mutter something under his breath.
“No, I just think it's insane how you can do all those different types of exercises and routines just like it's nothing. You can literally visualize where you're going to land before it happens.”
“It's the same with football when you think about it. You're a quarterback so I can imagine that before you decide where you're going to throw and who you're going to throw to what the end result will be.”
“Something like that.”
“Stop interrogating the man! Sports journalism is her major and she thinks she's smart. So she of course knows all of the players and their stats. I’m convinced she’s going to start memorizing playbooks and try to get on the field with us.” Ja'Marr said as he turned to Joe and you pinched his arm resulting in a yelp as Joe let out a small laugh.
“I'm smarter than your dumbass. That's for sure and are we going to work out or stand here all day? Besides I wasn't interrogating. You can't get to know someone unless you talk to them and ask questions.” You told him as you gave him his headphones.
“I'm ignoring you and what are we working on today?”
“Hmm full body I guess. I already did my legs, back, shoulders and arms this week.” You answered as you shrugged and put in your headphones. Flipping through your phone, you tried to find the perfect playlist in order to get through the workout and hopefully finish strong.
You usually hated working out with Ja’Marr since he would always want to add on something extra at the end of it when you were ready to go home and crawl into the bed.
Joe and Ja’Marr quickly agreed and it was decided that the three of you would warm up by running on the treadmill for three miles before going back to the weight rack.
On your second mile, your music was suddenly cut off by your phone ringing. Looking down you saw that it was Trevor, your boyfriend of one year who happened to play baseball at LSU and that was one of your primary reasons for going there. Also having your brother there was a plus.
Deep down you knew that your brother didn’t like him, but to you he was the best thing since sliced bread and could do no wrong in your eyes. But what you didn’t notice was Ja’Marr glancing over at your phone and seeing it was him and rolling his eyes.
You simply finished out your third mile before going to call him back leaving Ja’Marr there along with Joe who had turned down the speed to a brisk walk as he had done the same.
“I fucking hate her boyfriend.”
“Wait, what? He’s here too?” Joe asked as he was looking around.
“No, I saw that he called her and I’m guessing that she went to go and call him back. I can’t fucking stand him and she could do so much better. But she’s happy and the last thing I want to do is ruin that for her. He honestly treats her like shit from what I’ve seen, but I guess she doesn't see it that way.” He confessed as Joe had his eyes on you as you were standing in the corner. He figured that you were on facetime by the way you were holding it and making gestures with your hands.
“But he makes sure to never do that shit in front of me because I will take his ass down. I’m always going to protect my sister. I honestly wish that she was with someone who respected her and didn’t take her for granted like his ass does. She is honestly the sweetest most generous person despite how much we might bicker and she doesn’t deserve someone who takes her for granted. But you'll eventually be able to see how sweet she is for yourself. She literally lives up under me. When you see me, nine times out of ten she’s not too far behind.”
It was at that moment, you walked back over to them and Ja’Marr could tell that you were visibly upset.
“Pebbles, what’s wrong?” Ja’Marr asked but you simply waved him off.
Ever since you two were about six months old, your aunt on your mother's side started to call the two of you Pebbles and Bam Bam and the nicknames had stuck. It also was no coincidence since your mom used to love watching the Flintstones when she was small just like you and Ja’Marr did.
“Nothing, I’m fine. Let’s hurry up and get this done.” You responded as you felt tears forming in your eyes and you did your best to quickly wipe them away.
“You aren't fine so don't stand up here and lie to me. Did he upset you?”
Joe could now see that he was visibly upset which was in turn making you more upset.
“Don't worry about it, I just want to get this done so I can go back to my apartment and study.”
“If you need me to kick his ass, I stay ready.”
“JA'MARR! NO!”
“And Joe will back me up too. You should see how much he can bench press. No one will know.”
“I… I appreciate both of you very much for offering even though you literally just threw Joe in there without giving him a say in the matter, but I promise I'm good.”
“I'm here for assistance if needed.” Joe said and that put a small smile on your face.
“Yeah about that, show me how much you can bench press.”
“Oh lord, Joe you got her started. Now her competitive ass is going to see if she can beat you. She might be small, but don't let that fool you. She also eats like a grown ass man.”
“Bam Bam, keep talking and I will throw that 60 pound dumbbell at your head.”
The workout was winding down and you wanted to work on your pull ups a little bit more since the upper body was your weakest area. You stood in front of the pull up bar and noticed that Ja'Marr was in the middle of his set, so the only other option was to ask Joe for help to reach the bar since there was no way in the world that you would be able to get up there on your own. But he beat you to it as he walked over to you.
“Need some help?”
“Hmm, definitely yes since there is no way in the world I'll be able to reach it by myself.” You replied as you both laughed.
“I got you. Jump up and I'll lift you the rest of the way.”
Nodding your head, you turned around and felt Joe's light touch on both of your sides. You couldn't quite explain it, but when his hands made contact with your skin, the feeling that it gave you felt unreal. Almost if it was something out of a movie. Shaking it out of your mind, you focused on the task in front of you as you jumped up.
As promised Joe helped you the rest of the way and stepped back once he saw that you were hanging onto the bar.
“Do you mind just standing there to spot me? Pull ups aren't my strongest thing.”
“Yeah, I'll be right here. Go ahead, you think you can do twenty?”
“Hmm, let's find out. I think I can.”
Fifteen of them came with ease and when you started to struggle, you once again felt Joe's hands on your waist and he helped you do the rest of them. You let go of the bar with him then catching you and placing you on your feet.
“Thank you for that.” You told him and you received a cheeky smile in return.
“Any time.”
“By the end of the semester, my plan is to be able to bench press the same weight or more weight than you.” You playfully told him and the smile that he had before became wider.
“I'd love to see that, princess. So let's put some money on it.”
“How much? 50?” You asked not really knowing how much he was willing to put up.
“Nah, you can do better than that.”
“Okay, 500.” You said as you shrugged.
“Damn, I didn't think you would go that high, but okay. Ja'Marr also mentioned to me that since you're the oldest, what you say usually goes between the two of you.”
“He's teaching you well.”
“Hmm, we'll see if that holds up between the two of us.”
“Looks like we just have to see then, won't we Burrow?”
The next day, you found yourself yawning at five in the morning absentmindedly taking small bites of your protein bar as you began to stretch with Erin coming over to sit next to you.
You hated that you had gymnastics practice so early in the day, making all of your classes be in the afternoon or late at night. The campus itself was huge and you didn't always necessarily feel completely safe when you had to walk back to your car late at night.
“So, did you break up with Trevor yet?” She asked as she began to stretch her arms.
“Uh? Good morning to you too, Erin.”
“Good morning, now did you two break up yet?”
“No, Erin.”
She sighed before rolling her eyes and looking at you in disbelief.
“Nobody likes him! Dump his ass! And I don't like the way he treats you. Truth be told, I've never liked him.”
“But I like him!” You exclaimed and she gave you a blank stare.
“Yeah, only you and his bald headed mother. You could do so much better. Oh! Who did you meet yesterday when you went to workout with Ja’Marr? I guess you fell asleep and never read my text.”
“Joe Burrow. He plays quarterback.”
“Oohh, he's cute! I heard about him transferring here. Break up with Trevor and date him! There, problem solved.”
“ERIN!”
“What? You have addressed me by my name a lot this morning. I like my plan and I think it'll work. Besides, he's a sucky ass baseball player. My goal is to get my best friend to become a WAG and being with him is not going to get you very far. He didn't even get a scholarship here. He was a walk-on!”
“I have literally only met that man one time and yeah I've said your name a lot because how do you wake up this unhinged!?”
“So? Love at first sight is an actual thing. I wasn't there, but I know it happened. And it's been that way since we were three.”
“And he did help me with my pull ups yesterday.” You told her as you shrugged your shoulders.
“I'm going to start planning the wedding when we leave. My class doesn't start until one today.” She replied as she smiled at you.
“I…-”
“What are you two going on about over here?” Your other friend Alisha asked as she sat her bag down to the left of her.
“Y/N is getting married to Joe Burrow! We have to start planning!”
“Erin, shut up!”
“Oh, but he's cute. Do you know if he has any brothers?” Alisha replied as she sat down on the other side of you.
“I.. don't but I will find out for you.”
“And slip them my number while we're at it.”
“He helped her during their workout yesterday. At this point, we can say it was their first date.”
“Erin telling everyone's business as usual.”
“Hey! I'm just good at storytelling! And he had the perfect view of your ass if he helped you with your pull ups now that I think about it.”
“Sometimes I honestly cannot believe you're my best friend.” You said as you couldn't contain your laughter anymore.
“And you aren't getting rid of me any time soon.”
Gymnastics practice was always long and draining so you knew what to expect every time. They typically lasted for three hours and when you were finished, you either got breakfast on campus or went back to your apartment to make something as Ja'Marr would also be blowing up your phone to feed him even though he was on an entire meal plan just like you were.
After taking a shower and throwing on some leggings along with an LSU sweatshirt and your converses, you started to walk out the building with Erin since Alisha had to hurry up to get to her class on time, when you spotted Joe.
Of course, Erin noticed too and squealed.
“Ooh, there goes your man!”
“Erin, be quiet! I don't want him to hear you! You are too loud for it to be eight in the morning!”
“Why not? And I'm always loud. I'm responsible for this love connection and I'm going to be the maid of honor. He NEEDS to know me.”
Joe had turned around and once he spotted you began making his way over.
“Oh shit, here comes your husband!”
“I hate you. I hate you so much right now.”
“You'll get over it.” Erin said as she smiled.
“Morning princess. Just got out of practice?” He asked as he came up to both of you.
“Morning and yes. Now I'm going to stuff my face. Oh Joe, this is my best friend Erin.”
“Hey Erin, pleasure to meet you.”
“You too and the pleasure is all mine.” She said and you couldn't help but laugh quietly to yourself.
“I was actually going to get food if the two of you wanted to come with me.”
“Y/N will go! I have class but she is free ALL MORNING. So I'm going to go and Y/N, I'll text you later. Have fun you two.” Erin practically yelled and you looked at her as if she was crazy.
“And then there were two. Where did you want to go to eat?” Joe asked as Erin had started to walk away.
“You're from Ohio, so you need to get a taste of some good southern cooking that makes you feel like you have just gained ten pounds.”
“Lead the way.”
“We're going on a little adventure off campus, my car is just over there. I think you'll like it.”
Less than a mile from campus was Louie's Cafe that had amazing breakfast as well as brunch foods. Anything that you could possibly think of they served.
On the ride over, the two of you just made small talk and when both of you had placed your orders for your food, you wanted to see how he was feeling for his first game that he would be playing in on Sunday because you already knew Ja'Marr was a nervous wreck.
“How are we feeling about Sunday? You nervous?” You asked as you took a small sip of orange juice.
“A little bit and I can admit it. I mean I played when I was in Ohio, but I was the backup. Now I'm actually starting. A lot of pressure on my shoulders and I feel like I have something to prove. I want them to be able to see that they made the right choice.” Joe told you and you were clinging to every word.
“But that's so exciting! What made you transfer here though out of all places?”
“I didn't want to be sitting on a bench for four years. I wanted to be able to play. I know that I'm good, but I just need a chance to show it.”
“Hmm, I do love a man with confidence. Well I'm very excited for you and my brother. I hate how you guys aren't playing here, but I'll make sure I'm watching.”
“Always confident, never cocky. And I'll try to get my first win as a starting quarterback for you.” He responded as he gave you a small smile.
“I can't wait to see it happen so once you get back here, we can celebrate. I can cook, so I can make you something.”
“I've been craving something my mom makes all the time, Snickers Salad.” Joe replied and you looked at him confused.
“Um? Is that an Ohio thing? Because I have no idea what that is.”
Joe nodded as he laughed and your waiter had set your plates down on the table in front of you.
“It is, but I can always text you the ingredients you need to make it. I figured you could do it justice since Ja'Marr never stops talking about how well you cook.”
“You need my number to be able to do that.” You Cheekily said, but he fired right back.
“Mine is in yours, already. I put mine in when we first got here since I want to be able to see more of these special spots you know about.” Joe confidently told you as he was pouring syrup on his banana pecan pancakes that had been recommended by you.
“I've literally only known you now for about 36 hours and I can say that I like being around you.”
“Good, because I like being around you too.”
Just then your phone rang and of course it was no one other than Ja'Marr.
“Pebbles! Are you at Louie's Cafe!?!? And you didn't take me!? I checked your location! I'm hungry too!”
“I took Joe instead because he doesn't get on my nerves like you do.” You told him as you stabbed your eggs.
“WAIT, you took Joe!?!?”
“Yes, say hi. You're on speaker.”
“Hey Ja'Marr.” Joe said as he was trying not to laugh.
“Joe, just make sure my sister gets me something to go. I'm about to starve messing with her ass.”
“I got you.”
“Bye, baby brother.”
“Wait! I didn't give you my order!”
“Text it to me, bye.”
Once you hung up and placed your phone back on the table, you looked back up at Joe to see him staring at you.
“When do you have class?”
“Not until one.”
“You want to do some more exploring with me? I feel that it's now my obligation as your unofficial tour guide.”
“I get to be around a pretty girl so I'm all for it.”
“Joe, you do know that I have a boyfriend right?” You asked as your face heated up.
“Someone as pretty as you, I'm not surprised. But what does that have to do with me?” He asked as he winked at you.
This is the first time in your life that you were speechless.
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bullet-prooflove · 3 days ago
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Haunted: Leroy Jethro Gibbs x Reader (feat: Mike Franks)
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Tagging: @kmc1989 @riley-kore @ilovemark1951 @love-affair-with-fandoms @mishkatelwarriorgoddess
Companion piece to:
The Ice Queen - Gibbs meets The Ice Queen for the first time.
Break The Ice - A act of decency helps Gibbs to break the ice.
Grave - You and Gibbs bump into each other in an unexpected place.
Safe - You and Gibbs work through your grief in different ways.
Check In - Gibbs checks in with you after the night before.
Wait It Out - You and Gibbs wait out a threat to your saftey.
All Dressed Up - You and Gibbs have a frank conversation about an office event.
Right Here - You come home to find Gibbs waiting for you on your doorstep.
Revelations - Gibbs is surprised to discover a connection between you and Mike Franks.
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There are three cases that haunt Mike Franks.
The Gibbs case, the Larsen case and your sister’s case, the one that was never his to begin with. After all they don’t let special agents investigate the death of someone close to them, especially not the woman that was about to become your spouse.
It hadn’t stopped Mike from hounding the agents that were working the case, sifting through their files or surveying their interviews from the opposite side of the interrogation room window.
It had earned him a suspension, forced bereavement leave they called it.
He’d checked out for a while after that, booze, fights, the whole nine yards. You’d bailed him out more than a handful of times because you couldn’t let the man who had loved your sister throw away his life or his career.
He gets his shit together just in time for the funeral, then spirals again right after.
“She wouldn’t want this for you.” You tell him one night as the two of you sit in your living room trying to regroup. He’s clasping an ice pack to his knuckles from another fight and you’re stitching up the cut above his eye from some asshole’s class ring. “It’s time to put on your big boy pants and start doing the shit she fell in love with you for instead of this nonsense.”
“You don’t understand.” He finds himself saying, his voice raw as the thread tugs tightly, pulling the edges of the wound together. “It’s like I have all this rage, all this emotion but there’s no where for it to go, no one to blame…”
Because they haven’t found the man that brutalised Violet and that case, it just gets colder every day.
“And you Maeve, you just don’t seem to feel a damn thing.”
“That’s because I don’t.” You tell him frankly, sniping the tail off the stitches before sitting down on the coffee table so you can meet his gaze. “I’ve been empty ever since the day they’d found her dead.”
And that’s when he realises you’re depressed.
You’ve spent all this time looking out for him…
And he’s done jack shit for you.
He makes you a promise that night, while he’s sprawled out on your couch. He’ll do whatever he can to pull you out of this fog because he knows where that numbness leads.
You don’t have a gun so he guesses it’ll be slit wrists in a bathtub or a handful of pills down your throat. They’re usually ladies choice.
So he gets his shit together, goes back to work, starts making an effort. He makes sure to check in on you, get you out of the house, dinner, drinks, walks with Gary. You start to come back to the world again and so does he.
It’s when he starts to date again that things hit a speed bump. The moment you see him with another woman, it’s like a flip switches inside you because you realise Mike can just move on, find someone else to take up the position that Violet filled in his life but you can’t, you can’t replace your sister.
The fight you have that night, it’s the first time you’ve exhibited any emotion about Violet’s death. You scream, you shout, you throw crockery and Mike, he just takes it because this is what he’s been waiting for, the moment you admit to yourself that Violet’s gone, that she’s never coming back.
You get distant after that, colder. When he approaches you a few weeks later you make it clear that you don’t want anything to do with him. As far as you’re concerned any personal connection between the two of you died with your sister.
It wounds him in a way he doesn’t care to admit but he respects your wishes because he understands that this, this is how you move on.
Now he’s sitting in your office, on the opposite side of your desk because the probie, he’s been digging through your sister’s case and he thinks he’s found something, and Mike kinda thinks he has too. He just needs you to make sure.  
“They never found her engagement ring.” Mike tells you, his elbows coming to rest upon your desk as he leans forward, his hands clasped together on top of the blue folder he’s placed there. “I was too fucked up to notice at the time. Is there any chance you have it?”
It’s a distinctive piece. An aquamarine stone set amongst a couple of diamonds in a silver band. It had cost him a couple of months salary but it had been worth it at the time because that gem, it had been the exact colour of Violet’s eyes.
“No.” You say softly, your eyebrows furrowing into a frown. “I thought you’d kept it afterwards as a keepsake.”
He sees the realisation hit you, about what must have happened to that ring. He knows it’s like a gut punch because that’s exactly the way that he felt when Gibbs asked him the question. The other man had spent hours trawling through those evidence logs trying to locate it. Mike has to give him his due diligence, he’s spotted something nobody else did, even though he wasn’t supposed to be working the case.
“You think that son of a bitch took it?” You ask him. There’s a dangerous lilt in your voice, one he recognises from the last time the two of you were in the same proximity.
“I do.” He says and he watches you literally bite your tongue in order to stop yourself from cursing out the assholes who clearly dropped the fucking ball with Violet’s case. They’ve moved on now, retired, he’d had Gibbs and Lala check in because he didn’t trust himself not to tear them a new one.
“What does that mean?” You ask him, agitated. “That she was a victim of a serial? Those guys like to take trophies right?”
“Actually, we’re thinking a little more close to home.” He says as he pushes the blue folder towards you with his fingertips. “I got Strickland to put together a profile. I wanted to see if it fit anyone from back then, someone that was in her life, maybe someone I didn’t know…”
There’s a reluctance in you, he sees it. The thing is this folder, it’s a grenade. It has the power to tear your whole life apart and you’re just getting back on your feet, you’re just starting to climb out of that hole you’ve been trapped in for so fucking long.
“I still dream about her Maeve,” He tells you with a tremor in his voice. “I’m with someone else, in love with her but Violet’s ghost, it still haunts me.”
Your hands are shaking when you open the folder, you swallow hard against the ache in your chest as you study the words written in Strickland’s neat scrawl. Age, behaviours, job description. It’s like you’re seeing him clear as day, leaping up at you from between the pages.
“Maeve…” Mike says as he studies the expression on your face. “Do you know him?”
There’s an agony in you, it’s excruciating because this son of a bitch, he still visits your sister’s grave. He puts white lilies against the headstone, every birthday and Christmas because they were friends, such good fucking friends.
“Yea.” You say, your voice devoid of emotion as your gaze sweeps up to meet Mike’s. “I fucking do.”
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clouds-of-wings · 4 hours ago
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I came across this (without the last addition, I thought it was real art) in my archive again and once again started wondering why her lower legs are like that. It makes no sense with what the picture is supposed to express, so I thought: "Maybe this is supposed to express that she's not really human either but some kind of a ghost or something? But having the legs clip through each other like in a buggy video game is a weird way to express that, especially when what makes him threatening and inhuman is all the "evil" black stuff. It seems to mix two different visual languages - expressing inhumanity and threat by making him look demonic and her vaguely... body horror-y malfunctioning..?" When I originally reblogged it I eventually threw up my hands and thought: "Whatever, it looks cool at least! It doesn't have to make sense!"
So I checked the notes again. The "source link" is an Instagram post that is by now deleted and Hive Moderation seems to think the picture is "pretty likely" (65%) to be AI, though it isn't sure.
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I guess the reason why the visual language is confusing might be that there's no artistic intention behind it. Although human artists can also not have their artistic language sorted out.
Btw, just in general, just because someone writes "oil on canvas" or something unfortunately doesn't mean it isn't AI. Sometimes people lie. I have seen very obviously AI pics titled something like "oil painting, now in a private collection". I think when I originally reblogged this I hadn't had that experience yet. Most AI scams who pass themselves off as artists are very low effort, but not all are.
I guess what tripped the AI up is stuff like this in Ferri's original art:
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Her leg is weird too, but here it's in a sense that is immediately understandable. The picture is called "Apollo and Daphne". If you know Greek myth you know that Daphne is a nymph, so a nature spirit. The AI obviously can't understand that, it only sees Weird Shit going on with her leg.
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Roberto Ferri, “Like Poison” (𝟤𝟢𝟤𝟥).
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jazjelspen · 1 day ago
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ex-girlfriend
jeff the killer x fem! reader
(you've dated Jeff the Killer since high school and have known him for longer. You stayed even after he became who he is now.. but what if you became stronger than him? what if you became a completely new person entirely? and left your heavy-hearted killer boyfriend to rot?)
(notes: took inspo from fanon Jeff but also tried to write him into his own person of course :) will try to be realistic when it calls for it + took some creative liberties in certain aspects too. I also apologize if the characterization of Jeff and others isn't super fitting.. I'm still getting used to how I want to express them and construct them as characters and the world around them.)
(CAUTION!!!: includes dark/serious themes, mention of murder/death, use of cannab1s, slight implications of s3x, toxic relationships, physical abu$3, possible ooc(?) )
(NOT PROOFREAD)
[part 1/2]
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you and jeff are a killer duo.
seriously and figuratively.
you two have always been attracted to each other, a connection you two couldn't see but you both knew it was there.
the older and closer you two got, the more you two realized you had more in common than you two initially assumed..
way, wayyy more in common.
but to skip a long origin story short, let me give you some details on how you and Jeff suddenly got separated in the way that you did.
you see, you and Jeff resided at the Slender Mansion.. mostly just to get Slender off your backs due to you guys finding solidarity and a sense of safety in the deep dark forests, far away from home. it kept you two safe from police, as well as anyone or anything else that could be a threat.
of course, the specific area you went into was territory of the thin and tall boss of the forests.. and you would've been dead meat if you two didn't create a sort of alliance with the deity, not exactly proxies yet you two still had to trade something in return for your lives.. the lives and bodies of others seemed to quell Slenderman's hunger quite well.
nonetheless, tonight was one of those nights in which you and Jeff had to find more lives to take, blood to shed.
this night was different though, as Jeff was currently stuck in your shared room after going through a minor operation at the hands of Eyeless Jack, another being that came and left as he pleased.
"You think he'll recover quick?" You perked up as you watched EJ sew in the last stitch in a cut that reopened earlier as he was helping Jeff into your room, cutting up the thread before standing back as you two stared at your injured boyfriend from beside the bed he laid on.
"Not as quick as you may think," spoke EJ, his calm, raspy, and slightly demonic voice sounding monotone as he isn't intending to comfort you in the slightest but just to inform you. "Slenderman's healing properties can only work so fast, the rest depends on his own body's will to repair itself."
"Makes sense, with how much the victim fought back and the cops almost got him by a hair.. " you let out a huff through your nose before crossing your arms over your chest and shook your head slightly. "It has never gotten this bad before..." You murmured before moving away to open the door for EJ to find his way out. "I know you don't usually accept 'thank you's but, thanks. I owe you one for saving his ass."
"Hm." hummed the blue masked being. He may have the form of a human, and sound like one to a certain extent.. but he doesn't have the feelings of one for all you knew. "I'm sure you know how to stitch him up again if another injury reopens, I won't be here the rest of the week as I'll be doing my own business elsewhere."
"Got it.." You opened the creaky wooden oak door to let him through, and he left just as fast as he came in.
Closing the door behind you and letting go of the rusty brass door knob, you sighed in exhaustion.
"Yknow, you've been awfully quiet--"
"Shut the fuck up or I'm going to slice your throat."
Your shoulders dropped as soon as you heard Jeff's empty threat escape his throat. You walked closer to him, your shoes making small thuds and the wooden floors creaking beneath your feet.
"There you are." you cooed, finally hearing him talk after being silent the entire time.. incredibly out of character for him yet you were sure the shame of getting as injured as he is now and having to be 'taken care of' definitely got to him. "I almost started missing you."
"Get my knife, get the rest of your shit, and let's move.. we have people to kill for fucks sake.." Jeff's hoarse voice cracked even further as he attempted to sit up yet the pain coming from his abdomen only caused his nerves his fire up, making him fall back onto the moldy mattress yelping in pain. "You're absolutely stupid for even thinking you're able to go out tonight Jeff." You proceeded to sit on the empty side of the bed beside him, your hand slowly reaching over to gently caress his brutally cut up cheek yet your lover only harshly smacked it away with the back of his own hand. "So.. you're telling me you're going to ignore what I'm fucking telling you to do?" Jeff groveled and huffed in irritation, if he wasn't so incapacitated he'd probably be pulling you by your arm or hair to get you to do what he told you. "Since when have you gotten so brave, doll?"
"Since I followed you and helped you kill your own family that night." You pulled your hand away, reminiscing the night when your Jeff turned into who he is now.
You remembered how much your heart swelled when you saw him covered in his family's blood, his fresh cut up smile and red inflamed burns across his body and face. You continued to love him just as much as you did before he became so disfigured.
He was your religion, and you followed him in devotion.
"Now, we still have to keep our deal with the big boss right? I'll do your kills for the night, then when your better tomorrow we'll finish up whatever else we have to do.. or hell we can just kill for fun to make it up to you, " you hopped off the bed as you spoke and walked over to a wooden rotting vanity in the corner of your room, with drawers that were unable to close and doors that were hanging by their hinges. Your hand reached over to get an empty crunched up ziplock bag and continued on to walk back to your boyfriend with the object in your hand. "What do you say? I'll even get you some of the good stuff to make you feel better." you spoke lovingly, your hand with the bag grazing over his misshapen nose as he inhaled it deeply with a faint sense of delight. It still lingered the smell of his favorite thing to smoke and get high off of.. aside from your kisses and affection of course.
"Fuck that smells good.." he mumbled before his beady black eyes then suddenly shot up at you with this look of angry hesitation. "This is the only damn time I'm ever letting you out of my sight, make it quick, come back, and if you take a fucking second too long I'll get up and drag you back by your hair myself, got it gorgeous?.."
"You won't even have to bother Jeff." you bent over slightly to give him a quick peck on the lips, but just as much as he was addicted to the green he was also addicted to your warmth, your lips, your presence and self.
You couldn't help but have to suddenly sustain your own body weight by resting an arm beside Jeff's head as his own uninjured arm went to grab you by the back of your head to pull you closer in a deeper, much more passionate kiss.
Hearts beating aggressively in a dark passion that was just as fiery and scarlet as the blood you two would spill on the daily, the faint smell of dried blood, mud, and rubbing alcohol reeked as you two struggled to inhale air with your noises clashing against each other, his aggressive and hungry kisses tasting of iron but also of old cigarettes and booze.
Normally this would disgust any one else that wasn't you, but you liked the way he smelled, how he tasted.. it reassured you that this was in fact Jeff, your Jeff.
Eventually, he would finally let you go by harshly pushing you away in order to break the kiss. He knew that if you stayed any longer he was gonna want you all to himself for the rest of the night, as close to him as you physically could.
"Get out of here and get back, ______. Don't make me wait longer than I have to."
You smiled at him, a sweet and sinister little smile that would somehow always get him hard every time you did it.
"You've got nothing to worry about."
two weeks.
two weeks passed since you disappeared that night.
Jeff recovered the night after you left, but you could imagine the absolute horror and rage he felt when he realized you never came back later that night.
With other residents also living in the mansion, residents with personalities and have bits of humanity left similar to Jeff, you can also imagine the slight wave of rumors to those that knew or noticed the two of you in your years in the mansion. Some say you made a deal with Slender and got to leave, others say that you got kidnapped, that you got brainwashed, caught by police, sacrificed to another higher being, stuck in an asylum or- simply that you died. There were endless possibilities but they all ended the same:
you hung Jeff dry, left his grasp and simply didn't come back.
Jeff would obviously try to get in contact with Slenderman as to know your condition, since he knew that the deity had the consciousness and psyches of every being or person he's made some kind of contact with in his hands.
Although he had to go through one, two, three of Slender's proxies, just to have a word with him somehow.. He would eventually get a word from the big boss through one of his more well known lackeys.
"She's fine, Jeffery. She isn't dead, she hasn't made any deals with him, and she isn't injured to death or whatever." the annoyed and exasperated voice of Masky would echo in the empty halls that the pair stood in, the arms of the mustard-yellow colored jacket would fold over his chest while also being in a sort of stance that expressed the fact that he simply just didn't want to be there.
"Then why the hell is she not back?? Does he know where she could be? If she was kidnapped? If she got arrested or put in a fucking ward?" Jeff yelled in an almost desperate sort of tone yet he would never admit it openly.
"Look, I don't fucking care whether she's alive, dead, stuck in a fucking hole or hell! if she's sucking some other guy's dick that isn't yours! But all I know that is that if she left on purpose he would've already had me or one of the others to get her back, but he hasn't so maybe she's nearby or some shit like that."
Anyone around could see that Jeff was on the verge of reaching over for his knife and cut Masky in half, yet he knew better than to do that to him of all people. "Does he at least know where she is?? I'll get her myself if I have to just give me a fucking address, some place to know where she could be!.."
If Masky wasn't wearing a mask, he'd probably be rolling his eyes to oblivion, irritated beyond belief at something like this even being a problem. "No. But as I already fucking said, if he isn't asking one of us to chase her down and get her back then you shouldn't have to overreact the way you are right now." the proxy proceeded to brush past him without a care, but said one last small thing before he left Jeff's vicinity completely.
"By the way, stop bothering the other proxies about this as we could care less about your girlfriend, just get a new one and fuck off!"
Jeff stood there, trembling in an anger he hasn't felt since the day he attacked his bullies and his brother took the blame for it.
He wasn't exactly reassured, but he also knew that he was very limited and there wasn't much he could do.
But he was restless, so you bet your ass he was going to go look for you even if it was just stalking the streets and killing anyone in his wake.
luckily for him, his waiting would end soon enough.
the week after that, he'd get the news of his life.
he'd been killing all week, killing innocents as he usually did but at a quicker and animalistic pace, he would almost get caught this time by the cops yet again but before his spree could continue he received some news thanks to that cheeky voice that would speak to him through the screens.
he would come back to the mansion, battered and bruised beyond belief. the calluses on his hands split and bled, cuts everywhere all old and fresh, he was ruthless in his murders as well as he was careless.
he needed you to ground him, you were the reason as to why he has even been alive for as long as he has.
his hand seemed to be superglued to the handle of his sharpened knife even as he was dragging his legs towards EJ's basement, where he was led to believe he would find what he was looking for.
He aggressively banged on the metal door with his fist in anticipation, not being able to wait any longer than how much he's already had to. The one to answer the door would be Eyeless Jack as it is his "resting" place in the mansion so to speak.
Once the door opened Jeff would quickly push past EJ not needing to be accepted in the space for him to go in.
"Where is she??" he shouted, his voice boasting in the cold concrete room. "I was told you found her, where the fuck is she?"
EJ would calmly close the door before slowly leading Jeff towards a corner of the large space, where a long, clean-white room divider seemed to hide something.
well, more like someone.
That was when Jeff finally saw you, your limp body laying there and your face had this gentle expression you'd usually make when you were sleeping. Beside you stood Nurse Ann, who was gently cleaning the countless cuts and lacerations you had around your body with several cotton pads and changing gauzes as well.
Jeff's heart fell down to his stomach, he would've started reeling and throwing up if he didn't rush to take a closer look at you only to see that your chest was still rising and falling.
He sighed in relief.
"As you can see, she's alive." spoke EJ as he took a few steps closer, "Nurse Ann found her as she was coming back to the mansion, she found her body laying on the edge of where Slender's territory ends and the rest of forest. She also claims that ______ wasn't there when she left, so she probably appeared a little later that same day."
Jeff's hand trembled slightly as he reached out to touch your face with the back of his hand, yet hesitated slightly when his hand could almost feel the warmth of your skin.
But that's when he took a minute to really take in the rest of your appearance.
Your entire body even your face was dirtied in dried mud and soil, your fingernails were dirty and chipped, your arms and cheeks were decorated in scratches and cuts of various sizes, and your clothes.. seemed to have been replaced with a clean hospital gown and your missing shoes were replaced by socks.
EJ continued on, "And so you don't go attacking me, Nurse Ann changed her clothes. According to her they were tattered and beyond repair, and that they were completely soiled in blood."
"Blood?" Jeff spoke up in slight concern,
"The blood wasn't hers."
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cillianmesoftlyyy · 1 day ago
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Moth to the Flame Pt. 2 | Dr. Crane x Reader
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summary: Dr. Jonathan Crane isn't the only 'crazy' in Gotham City and he's about to meet his match. When confronted with an unpleasant secret from his past, he's skeptical to trust the strange young woman who calls herself Victoria Vale, the rightful heiress to Arkham Asylum (and maybe his downfall).
warnings: mentions of attempted suic*de and an insanity plea (follows the plot from the movie Batman Begins).
A/N: I really enjoy using the original DC comic lore so if you've been following me for a while, you'll recognize the backstories in this but I've tried to make a completely different plot line.
Choke- I DONT KNOW HOW BUT THEY FOUND ME 🎶
A few days pass but they feel like weeks. You’re expecting Dr. Jonathan Crane at the precinct to conduct Falcone’s psychological examination, and shift impatiently in your seat. You check your watch routinely, having assumed Crane would be a very punctual person and arrive right at 4:00. And you’re right. 
Crane saunters down the hallway like a black cat, his dark hair combed back against his head and his glasses perched perfectly on his button-like nose. You stand as you see him, pushing your chair back from your desk. You step out to meet him, keeping one hand securely on your hip to ensure your gun stays there and doesn’t get picked up by this handsome criminal mind. Dr. Crane smirks softly when he sees you and gives you a curt nod. 
“Detective Vale,” he greets you and sticks out his hand. You give a professional nod back and shake his offered hand, surprised to find it so warm. 
“Dr. Crane, thank you for coming on such short notice. One of the men we have detained in the precinct attempted last night, I’m sure you understand that we have to follow protocol- get him checked out before his trial in case there’s a more serious issue here.” You explain, knowing Crane can see right through you and your speech (just a matter of routine). 
“I’m always… happy,” he takes a breath, “to help law enforcement when I can.” The smile he gives is false, a lie, but one that you share. You nod and open your mouth to speak again when you hear Rachel Dawes’ voice splinter the conversation. 
“What’s he doing here?” Dawes stands beside you, crossing her arms over her chest in her crisp suit. You watch Crane suppress a scowl as he sees Dawes appear in front of him in her annoyingly professional suit. Though he’d be lying if he didn’t admit to having a thing for powerful women.
“Ah, Miss Dawes. To what do I owe this… pleasure?” 
“I could ask you the same thing,” Dawes retorts, her nose scrunched in distaste. 
“Dr. Crane is conducting a psychological examination on Falcone for the department,” you turn to Dawes, putting your hands casually into the pockets of your pants. 
“Is he? Then perhaps he can also explain why so many of Falcone’s men end up in Arkham because of his diagnosis.” 
Crane holds back a sigh and gives his best charming smile. “Miss Dawes, I’m simply giving professional diagnoses and my most honest clinical opinions about each of Falcone’s men. They end up in Arkham because that is where they belong. That’s hardly my fault, if criminals have a certain association with the insane.” Dawes begins to level a threat at Crane when you cut in. 
“Rachel, we’re going to get him on this one, I promise you. I’m going to oversee the examination with Dr. Crane.” You speak softly to Rachel, meeting her dark brown eyes. 
“Well I’m glad you're overseeing it, some people need it,” she glances over at Crane who looks back without speaking. You look between them before clearing your throat softly. 
“Let me know what the results are, Victoria. The judge wants to meet with Falcone on Monday,” Dawes directs her words to you and then turns to Crane again. “Falcone has no history of psychiatric problems. He got a hold of a blade and claims he wanted to hurt himself. I think he’s faking it.”  
Crane nods once, still cool and clinical despite the unspoken accusations launched at him. “We’ll see.” 
Dawes and Crane scowl at each other before you nod once again and gesture down the hallway. 
“I’ll be there to watch, Rachel, and I’ll let you know what the decision is. We all want a conviction as much as you do.” Your words sound truthful and sincere. Rachel’s pager buzzes and she looks down at it, frowning. She turns and nods at you in thanks before walking away, her black stiletto heels clicking angrily. You look again at Crane whose eyes are already on you, examining you silently.
“Very interesting…” he says coolly. You raise an eyebrow and cross your arms over your chest. 
“How’s that?”
“It’s interesting how you interact with her. You deal with her so casually.” 
“I have many talents,” you answer distractedly and turn down the hallway, beckoning him to follow, “shall we?” 
“Lead the way, Miss Vale.” His voice feels close to your neck, prickly and hot like a hand. You close your eyes for a moment and sigh, allowing yourself to dissolve in the riptide of his voice. Then you’re back, you glance around to make sure that no one has seen your “friendly” interaction and continue walking, your steps wide apart and fast. Crane follows easily behind, his gaze unfazed and silent. You stop in front of one of the soundproof interrogation rooms in the precinct where Falcone has already been placed. You step inside, Crane just behind you, and close the door, locking it and pulling the blinds.
Falcone is sitting at the table with his wrists cuffed, though there are thick bandages between the steel and his skin. He has a cigarette placed between his purplish mouth that reeks of sour milk. He raises a bushy eyebrow when he sees Crane and looks between you, unimpressed. 
“Geez doc, I gotta get help. The voices… blah blah blah,” Falcone looks around for a lighter and then turns his eyes up to Crane’s. “Got a light?” 
Crane’s jaw clenches and he sighs deeply through his nose before he pulls the lighter from his breast pocket. He flips open the cap with his thumb in one swift movement and leans over the table to light Falcone’s cigarette. You watch as this moment passes between the men, your eyes following the silver lighter as it returns to Crane’s pocket. When Falcone leans back in his chair, his cigarette lit, that’s when Crane finally speaks. 
“Now Mr. Falcone, I’m going to ask you a few questions. Answer… honestly,” Crane clears his throat and sits at the table, opening a file folder of Falcone’s medical records. 
“Sure, great,” Falcone mutters and looks at you, narrowing his eyes. “Are you staying? Is she gonna stay?” He turns back to Crane who looks up at him, frowning. 
You regard Falcone coolly and nod once. “I’m here to observe.” 
“If it’s alright with you, I’d like to get started, Mr. Falcone,” Crane cuts in, his patience thinning quickly. Falcone grumbles and nods, waving his chained hands to prompt Crane to continue. Crane takes another file from his briefcase and opens it on the table. You can sense Falcone starting to get irritated, Crane’s lips pull into a small smile. 
“I was just looking into your medical record. You’ve got a bit of a history with drug use, don’t you, Mister Falcone?” 
Falcone looks over at you for help, confused by Crane’s line of questioning. You shrug and remain silent, your arms crossed over your chest. Falcone thinks for a moment before answering. 
“Oh… yeah. Meds and stuff.”
“And stuff? In your file it says that you’re taking a prescription for a severe anxiety disorder. Is that true?” Crane raises an eyebrow, a plan brewing behind his blue eyes. One that neither you nor Falcone can predict. 
“Say, doc, what kind of question is that? You’re supposed to declare me insane and get me out of here. We had a deal.” Falcone’s tone is low and sounds slightly scared but he tries not to let it show.
Crane pauses for a moment, the statement hangs in the air like a cloud of smoke. You look between Crane and Falcone, your curiosity piqued. Crane maintains a clinical tone as he continues slowly as if he were talking to a child, “I know we had a deal, Mr. Falcone. Our deal was that I’d keep you out of jail, not out of my line of questioning…” Crane smiles, his heart beats faster with adrenaline, “I’m curious. Are you taking any anxiety medication?” 
“Sure, of course…” Falcone stutters and furrows his eyebrows. “I take all that stuff. I’m crazy…” 
You can feel the tension in the room build, and it sets your teeth on edge. You try to keep your focus on Falcone but the dull throbbing between your legs reverberates whenever Crane speaks. He reaches into his briefcase and removes a vial containing one singular pill. 
“This is an anti-anxiety pill. Quite powerful, actually. Do you know the name of this medication, Mr. Falcone?” 
Falcone’s face is a bright red now and he strains against his handcuffs. You regard Crane curiously, asking yourself why he’s asking all these strange questions. Why not just declare him insane and let that be the end of it? Crane feels a deep sense of satisfaction as he watches Falcone struggle, and you notice it evidently on his face and the way he holds his body, taut like a coiled wire. 
“Well? I asked you a question, I do expect an answer. I’m not going to declare you insane until I know for certain that you’re not faking. So, what is the name of this anti-anxiety medication?” 
"I... I don't know! Why are you asking me all of these questions? Just declare me insane already!” Falcone lowers his voice, “You know damn well I don't take any of that..." 
Crane sighs deeply and puts the vial back into his briefcase. He clasps his hands together, pleased. He smiles menacingly and lowers his voice too. 
“Here’s the thing, Mr. Falcone- that pill I was holding? It’s not anti-anxiety medication…” 
When he says that you turn, your brow furrows. Where is he going with this? Falcone rolls his eyes and stubs out his cigarette angrily. 
“You see, this medication isn’t used to treat anxiety. This medication is a powerful hallucinogenic, an extremely potent, mind-altering drug. It’s my most recent concoction, a fear toxin.” 
Falcone freezes and narrows his eyes at Crane. You feel yourself match Crane’s smile, a knowing excitement creeps into your body, your fingers flex. When he sees Falcone start to struggle even more, Crane’s smile widens. Falcone goes white and begins to panic, resorting to a feeble attempt at blackmail. 
"I'll tell everyone that I was working for you. I'll testify. I don't know what kind of drug you had us moving but I know it was something dangerous!” 
Crane lets out a small, humorless laugh and leans back in the thin plastic chair, his eyes never leaving Falcone. 
“How? You don’t know anything. And even if you did, who would believe you? You’re a delusional psychotic criminal with hallucinations. No one’s going to believe you if you tell them you’ve been moving drugs for me.”
“Get me away from this madman! I’m not fucking crazy!” Falcone shouts at you, pulling at his cuffs. You stare back, a small smirk pulling at your lips. 
“Not yet, but you will be. You see, if you want people to believe that you’re crazy, wouldn’t it just be easier to be crazy?” 
“What-what are you implying?” Falcone tries to push away from the table but the chains binding his feet prevent him from making it very far. Crane smiles and looks at you, his gaze giving you permission to contribute. 
“Mr. Falcone, I’d suggest that you shut your mouth before you say anything else you’ll regret. You’re in no position to make threats here.” You lean forward, your palms fisted on the table. Falcone looks between you and nods slowly, a slimy smile appearing slowly on his lips. 
“Oh, I see. You’re working together, aren’t you?” Falcone laughs. 
Crane’s smile drops and he turns back to Falcone, his steel gaze sharp enough to slice right through the mobster. 
“It seems we’ve reached an impasse, Detective Vale.” Crane’s voice is rougher now, more sadistic. Your whole body shivers, your cunt throbs with morbid excitement. 
 “Might I make a suggestion, Dr. Crane?” You cross your arms over your chest and rock back and forth on your heels. Crane looks you up and down briefly, discreetly. You can tell by the way he’s looking at you that he likes how your body looks in your dark slacks and a green blouse. 
Don’t get too distracted, Crane. 
Crane’s struggling to control his breathing as he watches you, his eyes lingering on the way your body moves. He tears his gaze away from you as he answers. 
“A suggestion? And what might that be, Detective Vale?”
“Well if he isn't going to be able to convince anyone that he's as 'crazy' as he says he is, maybe we should help him out. Make it more believable…” You shrug, your voice light and misleading. Falcone looks between you, his eyes wide as he tries to understand what you mean. Perspiration dots his forehead but he doesn’t wipe it away.  
Crane raises an eyebrow at your proposal but his eyes remain on Falcone, shaking in the seat across the table from him. There’s a dangerous tone in his voice as he murmurs. 
“And how exactly do you propose we do that?”
“Don't you have anything else in that briefcase of yours? Maybe something that could make him a little more... convincing?” You tilt your head towards the open briefcase, your eyes saying more than your words. Crane looks over at you, he swallows and nods, another soft smile on his face. He glances down at his briefcase and a slight shiver of excitement passes through him. Crane glances over at Falcone and feels a cruel grin spread across his face as he realizes what you’re implying. 
It’s like you’ve given him permission. You don’t need to tell him twice. Crane removes his glasses with a sigh and folds them neatly on the table beside him. Falcone watches him warily, his eyes dropping to the glasses then back up to Crane.
“As a matter of fact, I do have something else that would… help.” He slowly reaches into the briefcase and pulls out the burlap mask, his hands holding it with an almost reverent excitement. “Would you like to see my mask?” 
Falcone doesn't even respond. He's gone silent and dumb with fear. In his lack of words, You smile kindly at the man, giving him a false sense of safety.
“He uses it for his experiments, you know. It's probably not very scary to someone like you but to the crazies in Arkham… they can't stand it,” you trail off, backing away in preparation for whatever the hell Crane is about to do. 
Crane’s voice remains low as he leans forward, the mask still gripped in his fist. 
“But for you, Falcone? This isn’t just something to fear. For you… it’s going to be a nightmare.”Falcone struggles in his plastic seat, the chains shaking and clattering against each other as he tries to escape. You release a euphoric sigh as Crane pulls on the mask and gestures to the front of its burlap facade. 
His voice is no longer gentle, no longer friendly, no longer even remotely human as he continues to speak, “You’re going to spend the rest of your life in Arkham, Falcone. That’s a promise.”
As soon as the words leave his mouth his finger presses a button inside his briefcase, releasing a narrow cloud of fear toxin. It hits Falcone squarely in the face, his eyes bulge and lose their focus as some horrible nightmare overcomes him. Crane’s mask morphs into a real scarecrow, something uncanny and deranged. Falcone screams and Crane laughs, rising up from his seat and letting his palms rest on the table.
“I did warn you, didn’t I, Falcone?” 
His voice is barely audible over Falcone’s frantic screams. Crane rips off his mask, smiling contently. His hair is tousled and crazy about his head, your thighs throb. He looks over at you and you nod back, only allowing him a smirk.
“He certainly isn't going to testify now. Dawes won't be able to argue with you either.” He looks more psychotic without the silver glasses that you’re so familiar with seeing. There’s almost a ring of red in his eyes. “Impressive, Dr. Crane.” 
Crane tosses the mask aside and runs a hand through his hair as he tries to catch his breath. His face is flushed with excitement and adrenaline, and he can’t help but smile wider at you, the adrenaline making him bold.
“Thank you, Miss Vale,” he chuckles and shakes his head, looking back at Falcone, “That went well, didn’t it?”
You both look back at the screaming Falcone, smiles on your faces. A match made in hell, you and him.
“I'd stay and savor this moment with you but people will get suspicious. I'll go and arrange for his transfer to Arkham but first I need you to tell me that he's not faking it and that we need to move him to a secure wing in Arkham for treatment. I just need to hear you say it, legality,” you wave your hand about your face briefly. Crane raises a surprised brow. 
“You pick and choose the laws you follow now? How interesting,” Crane says in a soft sarcastic manner, his eyes still wide with pleasure. 
“Technically you are the expert and we brought you in here to diagnose Falcone…” you roll your eyes playfully. 
“Fine,” he takes a deep breath which is more attractive than you’d like to admit, “No, he’s definitely not faking. I believe he’s actively having a psychotic episode and will be in no position to testify. I recommend moving him to a secure wing at Arkham Asylum immediately. He’s a danger to himself and others.”
“Thank you, Dr. Crane,” you smile and turn towards the door. 
“So what? I do this favor for you, Miss Vale and then you leave me alone with the deranged?” Crane chuckles and puts on his glasses, looking you up and down. Your hand is on the doorknob but you turn and regard him, a sly smile on your face. 
“I thought you liked being around the deranged…” 
Crane raises an eyebrow back and turns his back on Falcone who continues to scream in the background. Crane’s nice dark gray suit shifts as he shifts. 
“And what does that mean for you?” 
“You’re the psychologist, not me,” you whisper back and open the door. The door closes sharply behind you but not before Falcone’s screams can be heard echoing down the hallway. You pull an officer aside. 
“Tell Prosecutor Rachel Dawes that Falcone needs to be moved to Arckham. It’s true, he’s insane too. He’ll need to be moved immediately, he’s already becoming violent. Dr. Crane is completing the paperwork and I’ll see to the transfer myself.”
… 
It is late at night when you finally finish Falcone’s transfer. You had shed your quilted jacket days before because Gotham City was in the middle of a miniature heat-spike after weeks of cold, damp weather. You check your watch and look off into the city skyline, thinking. You had followed Crane for weeks before you decided to speak to him, so you know his schedule just as well as your own. He would be in his lab at the university, working on his own projects in the secrecy of the night. His students would never know what their strange professor was up to. You make a rash decision and change directions, your feet taking you a few blocks to the left, to Gotham University. 
  Gotham University was not the type of institution that most students strive for but it still offered a good education for those who could pay. The buildings on campus were all dark and gothic, like orphanages set against a city scene. Students walking home from the library walk past you, speaking softly to one another. Some mention Professor Crane, some don’t. 
The science building is silent and empty when you break in, using the door with the broken sensor (your doing). You find Crane’s lab on the third floor, the only source of light in the dark hallway. You go to the door and open it slowly, silently. Crane has his back to you as he makes notes in a notebook with a red pen. He’s wearing a white lab coat that nearly makes his shoulders look broader, stronger. You stand by the door, watching, and waiting to see how long it takes until he notices you’re there. You pull the string that closes the blinds with a soft snap. 
“Don’t you know it’s rude to stare?” Crane's voice rises from the opposite side of the room. Your eyes widen only slightly in surprise, but then you smile and approach his lab table slowly, eyeing him up and down. His gray-blue eyes remain fixed on his work. 
“Did I frighten you?” 
“Oh no, I’m not scared of anything, remember?” Crane retorts with a distracted smirk as he finishes writing a line in his notes. When he finishes he finally turns and leans against the lab table, looking you up and down. “So, what are you doing here, Miss Vale? Why’d you close the blinds?” His smirk widens, the fact that you’re both completely alone excites him. He nearly shivers. 
“No one can know that I was here. I'm sure Dawes is already suspicious of me because I 'oversaw' your evaluation and approved the transfer when the three of us all know he was fine when we walked into the examination room the first time.” You smile and mirror his posture. 
“Mmm yes, I’m sure Dawes has already had a few choice words with you,” Crane nods and looks up, remembering the exchange the three of you had earlier at the precinct: two smart, powerful women in one room, amazing. 
“I can handle her, don’t worry.” 
Crane looks back at you and shakes his head, “Oh I don’t doubt it. You’re a highly intelligent woman, I’m sure Dawes doesn’t pose much of a problem for you.” 
You smile, flattered though you don’t need Crane to tell you what you already know. You ignore the way Crane’s eyes continue to trace the length of your body, imagining what he’d find beneath your blouse…
“No, but I'm concerned that she'll prove to be a bigger problem the more she finds out. Which is why I'm in charge of the case... or at least until she kicks me off. I'll make sure she doesn't learn too much about the 'operation' you're running here. But I need something from you first.”
“And what do you need from me, Miss Vale?” Crane’s voice is low, husky, and short, like the response was second nature.
You look him up and down, a smile growing on your lips. You can tell that he wants you and it's exhilarating to be wanted by such an attractive man... but first, you need information from him. It must be so frustrating for him but hey, that's life. You walk around the lab table and put your hands over his, gripping the edge of the table. You lean forward only slightly, leaving some distance between your bodies.
“Tell me about your plans for Gotham, Crane.”
His jaw clenches but he keeps his voice calm, composed, and his eyes evade yours. “What do you want to know?”
“If I'm going to be an equal partner in this, I need to know what you've been doing with Falcone and his men.” You look down at his lips as you speak. 
Crane’s breathing gets heavier, more ragged. His eyes are still avoiding yours, but he knows exactly where your gaze is fixated. 
“I know that Falcone has been moving shipments of your fear toxin into Arkham and I noticed that the military’s microwave emitter happened to go missing recently. Did you have anything to do with that, Crane?”
Crane can smell your pheromones like perfume and he stifles a frustrated sigh. He rolls his eyes and shrugs slowly. 
“Perhaps.”
“You could have made Falcone take the fear toxin pills you had in the box but you didn’t. You used a different form, gas. The microwave emitter vaporizes water… Your fear toxin doesn’t work in water, does it? It’s water soluble. It needs to be in a gas or powder form, correct?” 
“You’re clever, pet.” Crane smirks and moves his hands away from yours to cross against his chest. “But the pill I showed to Falcone was just a sugar pill, a placebo. Here’s a little lesson in Psychology: the body’s sense of smell is the fastest to recalibrate. By putting the toxin into gas form, the subject inhales it and reacts much faster. It’s all about speed. Water washes the toxin out.” 
“So the microwave emitter?” You prompt him to continue. 
“Yes, you’re right. If it works, it will dry up the main water line on the island, then I can release the toxin into the air… Every man, woman, and child in Gotham city would be paralyzed with fear.”
You let your lips inch closer, exhaling against his lips. Crane almost believes that you’ll kiss him until you pull away at the last moment and smirk. 
“I’ve read everything you’ve ever written about the chemical components of fear. I’ve tried recreating your ‘recipes’,” you look back at the experiments on the table, “but I can’t get the same results. There’s something important missing from your original research isn’t there? What’s the final ingredient? It has to be exotic, something you could only recently get access to. Maybe you met someone with connections. Someone who also read your research and offered to fund your project….” 
Crane is still recovering from your little trick and sighs tightly, impatiently. He looks up at the ceiling, the fluorescent lighting reflecting off of his glasses. “Is that right?” 
You hum once in confirmation and reach your hand out beside his left arm, brushing his sleeve. He keeps his gaze averted, still pissed that you teased him. While he pouts, you pick up a small petri dish from the lab table. A bright blue flower is preserved inside.
“Blue poppies?” 
Crane raises an eyebrow, finally looking down at you. He wets his lips and sighs, rearranging his arms to rest over his chest. 
“You can recognize obscure botanicals now?” He nearly snaps. You flick your eyes up to his, meeting his icy gaze. 
“That was a lucky guess.” You shrug and smile, “I’ve only read about these. So how did you get these? Who are you working for?”
Crane’s body reacts strangely to your smile, his navel warms. Your smile is so wrong… he loves it. He’s still slightly wary of your skills of deduction. He looks down at the petri dish for a moment, his mind trying to get back on track before he answers your question.
“I came into contact with someone who has strong connections. He’s agreed to fund my research and supply me with all the necessary equipment and ingredients.”
“Who?” You  ask with a little less patience. Crane enjoys witnessing one of your rare moments of impatience and smiles, getting the upper-hand. Crane’s smile only widens as he leans back against the edge of the lab table again, his hands gripping the edge in a white-knuckled grip to keep his body in check.” 
“Oh, I’m sure you know him… He’s quite the controversial figure….”
You lick your lips and you try to think. Surely it wasn’t Bruce Wayne- Crane would never work with him. Not Falcone. Not Gordon. What criminal would have both the money and power to operate something like this. Someone in the League of Shadows?
Crane’s eyes focus on the way your tongue moves across your lips. His mouth waters and he feels himself start to get hard. Instead of shying away, he steps closer, one of his hands fixing the bridge of his glasses. 
“I’m honestly impressed you haven’t figured it out yet…” he tuts patronizingly. 
“Are you going to tell me or are you going to make me figure it out myself?” 
Crane laughs and shakes his head. 
“Oh, this is just too good. You’re clearly bothered by the fact that you don’t have a name yet, Miss Vale.” He leans closer to you, his head tilting to the side as he continues in a low voice, “I wonder what you’ll do to get me to answer your question…”
You scowl, Crane getting on your nerves now. You push him back gently with a few clicks of your tongue against the roof of your mouth. “It hasn’t come to that yet, Crane.” You think for a few more moments and then something you read randomly comes to you, “the blue poppies grow in South Asia… Bhutan.” 
“Ding ding ding, good girl. The blue poppies are indigenous to South Asia.” 
“There’s only one man that I know of from Bhutan, he has a warrant out for his arrest in multiple different countries… Ra’s Al Ghul.” 
Crane’s smile widens into a crazy grin. He claps softly and then takes the petri desk back from you. “Correct.”
“Does Al Ghul know you plan to lead Gotham when it’s all said and done?” 
Crane nods slowly, looking away for a moment, his lips pursed. “He believes that my methods are necessary in order to bring about the change that the city needs. We already agreed that I will have control of Gotham when my plan is successful.” 
“Then what’s in it for him, Crane?” You ask with a raised eyebrow. 
He steps even closer to you, until there are only a few inches of space left between you. His voice is lower now as he continues to speak to you.
“He gets to auction off the city back to the government, he gets the money, I get the power. Oh, I’ve also promised him a certain number of…let’s say…highly skilled individuals for his cause.” 
“People you’ve locked up in Arkham?” You clarify, thinking it all through.
Crane nods and turns back to his research, his hand moving once again to the pen to write something down, putting his arousal to the side for a moment. Work will always come first to a man like Dr. Jonathan Crane. 
“Do you trust him?” 
Crane looks at you, surprised by your obvious question. He scoffs finally and turns back to face you. “No, I don’t trust him. But I see our partnership as a mutually beneficial arrangement. And honestly, I wouldn’t be able to continue my research at the same rate without his financial support and his access to the poppies.”
“Something about him gives me a bad feeling…” you mutter, crossing your arms beneath your breasts and tucking your head slightly to think. 
Crane tilts his head to the side in curiosity, as if he’s studying you. “Why do you say that?”
You shake your head and furrow your brow. “I don’t have a reason exactly except that it’s just an instinct. Something tells me not to trust him.”
Crane clenches his jaw slightly and his eyes harden as he starts to take you seriously. He raps his fingers against his elbow and lowers his voice slightly, almost like he’s trying to be kind.
“When have your instincts ever been wrong, Miss Vale?” 
You look up at him and shake your head finally, confident. “Never.”
Crane takes a final step closer to you, his chest nearly touching yours now. He can’t help himself from being drawn even closer to you, like a magnet. His voice is even lower than before as he looks down at your face.
“So, what do your instincts tell you now, Miss Vale?”
You look up into his eyes, heavy with desire. You feel the same desire, the same unquenchable and animalistic urges. Your noses are nearly touching as you exhale softly against his lips. You swallow and then speak. 
“This...”
________________________________________________
@m0thh3ad @sl-newsie @strangeobsessed @cillamity
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smiley-mcdoggington · 20 hours ago
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Part 2 to this kinda because it kinda left with an implied ending but this one is a good ending ANYWAYS TW SUICIDAL TW STANCEST--
"You deserve a reward, Fordsy." Bill crooned while he moved his pawn forward - Albin Countergambit, damn. The sting of being out-maneuvered didn't gloss over Bill's words, though.
"A reward? I couldn't possibly request a reward when you've done so much for me, my Muse." He said, though the words were empty. His posture had straightened politely and he waited for Bill to argue.
"No, you deserve it." Bill argued, and a curl of satisfaction warmed him. "You solved that equation so quickly, sped up construction on the portal by weeks on your planetary measure. Your mind is doing wonders with me here, I love to see it." His voice dipped a little. "Watching all those neurons firing, you're a piece of art, Sixer." He purred.
Ford blushed. Bill knew what that nickname did to him. "Thank you, my Muse... " He said, hot under the collar and voice maybe a pitch lower than before.
"Don't you wanna hear your reward, Sixer? I hope you don't think I'd cheap out by only giving you well-deserved praise." His heavy eyelashes cut into his pupils. He knew what he was doing.
Ford cleared his throat. "Of course not, my Muse, I wo-would never think of you as cheap." He cursed the slip and quickly tried to refocus on their game - his king was open. Ford moved his knight. "Check." He could imagine what rewards his Muse would have for him - turning every nerve in his body into an erogenous zone, using that sinfully large tongue, going until Ford cried from it--
"All good ideas, Fordsy." Bill knocked over his king with a flick of his fingers, before melting all the pieces into a puddle on the table. "But I've done something different. You know your phone problem?"
Ford's fingers itched for his journal and in the dreamscape a journal appeared. "The ghost haunting my phone? You've found it?"
"No, not a ghost yet, give him a minute." He joked - probably joked. "Really, Braniac, sometimes of all the answers it really is the simplest one. The silent phonecalls weren't any weirdness, they were just your inferior copy."
"Stanley?" Ford blurted. "Why would he be..." Ford had been getting those silent phonecalls since college at least, why would he never say anything? Why would he always call? He felt a flicker of annoyance that it wasn't even an anomaly.
"I know, I know that little mystery had been distracting you, so I even dealt with it for you. No more late-night phonecalls dragging you away, you can even rip the page about them from your journal."
Unease sank into Ford's mind. What had Bill said to make Stanley stop calling? He can't have simply asked, Stan was far too stubborn. Had he threatened Stan?
Had he used Ford's voice?
Dread simmered like nausea. "How, might I ask, did you convince him to him to leave me be?"
"No way but with the truth - Scout's honor. Aren't you happy, Sixer?" Suddenly Stan's old name for him sounded wrong coming from Bill. "I took care of him, he couldn't bother you again if he wanted to. You deserved it, for being so good." His praises sounded like the ones you'd give a child. Ford's stomach twisted.
"Would you show me, Bill?" He asked tightly.
Bill sighed and snapped his fingers. The puddle on the table between them turned clear.
Stanley was sitting in a car on the other side. A gun in his hand shaking minutely. The safety was off, but the gun wasn't turned outward against a threat.
He clicked the chamber out of place and span it before clicking it back into place.
He lifted it until the nozzle buried into his overgrown hair. Ford screamed when his finger flexed - one-in-six odds, 16.666...% chance he never saw his brother again because Bill used his voice to say something so terrible it made him - made him--
The gun clicked uselessly and Ford sobbed. Then Stan drew back the hammer again. One-in-five, 20%, the mindscape around him trembled in his panic, and then his view was taken, back to the puddle of black and white that remained of their game of chess.
"Take it easy, Sixer, you're starting to make me think you're ungrateful."
Ford's eyes snapped to Bill to the - the monster.
He needed to get out. His mind, once a vast expance, folded and curled inwards, stars burning out, glass shattering, the longer he stayed here with Bill the more time passed between hammer pulls, his brain counted up percentages for the chance that Stan was dead and Bill had the gall to call Ford ungrateful? Had the audacity to use Stan's name for him when he'd--
"I don't know what you're trying to pull here, Sixer, but your brother's gone. What's the difference if he's dead or not?"
Ford lunged over the table at him while the sky imploded.
The next second he was snapping awake - on the floor, a fork in his hand just within reach of his old rotary phone. He scrambled to his feet, hand on the receiver and bloody, shaking hand dragging the dial, trying to will the damn thing to roll back faster as he slowly dragged out '*69'.
The phone rang.
And rang.
"Come on Stanley - come on - you've gotta be close to a phone." His voice warbled into the large, empty house. "Come on, Stanley." He pleaded. And then, the ringing cut.
"Stanley?!"
The line was quiet - not dead, but quiet.
"Please - Stanley just say something." He sobbed.
"What the fuck do you want from me, Stanford?" His voice was rougher than he remembered, haggard and worn in a way Ford had never imagined it.
He could have said a million things, words clammered for first in his throat but all he could blurt was "Come home, damn it!"
The line was silent long after he'd spoken, his mind scrambling for anything to say - Stanley was always the one that knew what to say while he scrambled to speak at all. Then Stanley spoke again. "First you tell me I'm not worth the time it takes to hang up, now you're acting like I'm a damn teenage runaway - we're more than halfway to thirty, Stanford, if you're done jerking me around I've got things to get back to--"
"It wasn't me! I didn't say any of the things that previous call was - it was - well, it was an entity that can mimick my voice."
"Yeah? And I bet you're so fucking eager to share the details of how you fucked your brother a decade ago."
"I never--"
"So you never told anyone but the thing that isn't you but has your voice was just also there in our bedroom when we were kids, is that right? And they called me the liar."
"He can read my memories, Stanley, it's not that simple." Agitation seeped in to replace the cold fear. Bill may have been... Encouraged... By Ford to look into that certain childhood experimentation, which was now coming back to haunt him. "Just - just don't go back in the car. Please."
"... What?" Stanley sounded scared, for a second. "You can see me? How can you see me - wh--" his voice left the receiver, too far away.
"Stanley!" Ford called, and the voice came back.
"What kinda voodoo shit are you pulling, there ain't a camera for miles." He demanded more than asked.
"It's - the entity. He showed me you in the car - he - Stanley why the hell do you have a revolver?" The question took the energy out of Ford. He felt like the world under him was fake. His hand throbbed, still with a fork in it.
"Doesn't matter, you weren't bullshitting me?"
"No, Stanley, I wasn't lying. I promise I can explain everything in-depth once I get there." He said firmly.
"Get here? You ain't coming down here, bub."
"... Our stupid face."
Ford sighed. "Do you always have to be so stubborn? Just tell me where you are."
"Florida."
"I'll pay for the plane."
"Not happening."
"Stanley! You scared the shit out of me, there's a fork in my hand, and if I don't see your stupid face in the next few hours I'm going to pull my hair out, would you work with me here?"
"... Our stupid face. "
Ford snorted. "Yes, precisely. What if I take a plane down and we drive up to Oregon together? Road trip like we did that summer of 61'?"
"Waste of money."
"Not if it's you."
The line went quiet.
"... Stanley..?"
"Fuck, fine, whatever, we're grown men no need to get sappy - shit. Fine" He said with a small warble in his voice.
Ford smiled. "I can't wait."
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im-wide-asleep · 3 days ago
Text
OTHER THINGS TO WATCH OUT FOR
-Controlling food intake (what/when you eat, food as a reward system.) I lost 15 pounds and ended up underweight because my ex restricted my food access for “health reasons.
-Controlling your clothing/self expression. Forcing you to wear certain items outfits or things you’re uncomfortable with, or on the other hand, *not* letting you wear what you’re comfortable in. This extends to makeup, hair, etc.
-This has 100% been said before, but the way they treat their family and yours is a big one. If they’re shit talking their own family for no reason, that’s a big red flag. Especially if they do it to their faces.
-Homophobia/Sexism/Racism/Etc. Talking about other women and calling them bitches/sluts/whores. Not respecting your or other people’s identities. Straight up being racist.
-Threats of violence, even if not directed at you. Kinda just goes to show what they’re capable of/what’s going on in their head. Mine would literally gush for hours about literally murdering people that so much as inconvenienced her, way before she even started threatening me. No idea how I didn’t pick up on that.
-Getting handsy/ignoring boundaries after being told to stop. Very self explanatory, doesn’t have to be sexual in nature.
-Fetishizing you/aspects of you. For me, it was fetishizing my (at the time) pansexuality and my various mental and physical illnesses. It sucks, but people do this. If they’re weird about your race/sexuality/gender/etc, it’s because they see you more as an object than a person, and will treat you as such.
Remember that everyone’s different. Some people are gonna have some real unique red flags, and some can be very conditional to your situation. If your instincts are telling you something isn’t right, listen. I wish so much that I was able to tell earlier on.
I don’t know how many boys follow me, but I gotta bet there’s some. I just wanna tell y’all to be careful.
Abusive girls exist and what they’re doing is seen as like “badass tough don’t take no shit” but your girl should not hit you. Ever.
She should not demand for you to hand over your phone to look through.
She should not yell at you and humiliate you either alone or in front of people.
She shouldn’t make you distance yourself from your friends or family.
She shouldn’t scratch you or twist your arms.
She should not call you names.
She shouldn’t tell you ‘she’ll kill herself if you break up’
These are just a few examples of abuse and it’s just seen as okay when girls do it and god knows I’ve fallen victim to it a few times, but you shouldn’t have to.
Never worry about not being in a relationship. If they’re worth it, they won’t hurt you.
No one has the right to hurt you.
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miifu666 · 2 days ago
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What do you think suklha and Wukong kid would look like if they did have one ? 🤔 …..Celestial realm one fear after hearing those two are courting each other 👀
Theres 2 reasons, i believe they would have a child.
1. Yandere! Wukong AU.
2. It was an accident. A GENUINE accident
_____
CW : mentions of abortion, body dysphoria, weird descriptions of pregnancy, Im trying to write it as how Suklha would view it as so it might be uncomfortable, Pregnant Monkey Suklha Doodles?
Lets say its the Latter, should Suklha accidentally drank the water of fertility and somehow had sex with Wukong. She will try to abort the child, out of respect for their life, not out of disgust. Its a child thats created by a creature from within and outside of this universe, to bear one means to conceive a natural disaster. A sort of Red boy and his samadhi fire. But this time, it can sever through time and erase everything from History, a true personification of the end of death and end of life.
Even as Wukong tried to fight the logical side of Suklha, she would insist on not keeping the child. Preferring to care for the mountain cubs than creating such a trigger. "out of the safety for this wretched world" she would claim, but also a part of her is afraid of what outcome, what probability should come once she does give birth.
It is definitely something the Celestials wouldn't want happening. They'll stop at nothing to try and destroy a pregnant Suklha, in which case is also in monkey form. To ensure the child won't be an amalgamation of anthropod and mammal, a combination of two completely different animal kingdoms that shouldn't exist.
Throughout the pregnancy, Suklha would try to lay low with the cubs following her around, and a couple of Wukong's clones being at her beck and call. One would walk beside her, and the other stayed hidden, out of plain sight. Should Wukong have other businesses to attend to. Wearing long and loose garments to walk around the estate, Suklha tries to hide the wretching feeling of carrying something inside of her. She's already dealt with her identity crisis, and now the thought of something living and itching inside is giving her nausea at every second. The pregnancy won't last much, as the combination of her pure Centipede features and current Monkey form will take around 4-6 months.
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Should the child come, it would be the day all hell broke loose. With the underworld using its knowledge on destroying Suklha's vessel, to the Celestials who would try and take the child away, only to keep it in a capsule buried deep within the earth's core. As they have planned, use anything in their arsenal to destroy whatever hope the Monkey king and the messenger have. In this time, Suklha checked the probability and successfully ran to one of the dragons that she kept in touch with. A plan that the celestials wouldn't figure out, to be an opposite of how you usually am. A dragon of the South, A Lady of the red who runs a small village as their protector.
Suklha would soon give birth in the village, particularly in one of the Lady Dragon's estate. While Wukong would try to fight off the several armies, theres a few fake clones of Suklha around Flower Fruit mountain hiding to act as a decoy. The laboring process is enough to shake the heavens. there's a slight tear in the fabric of the universe at each scream, small cracks forming around Suklha as she continues to push out the child inside of her.
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I haven't thought much about the child, i think she'll be someone who is spiteful and energetic (as she should, her parents basically are. It should be a genetic trait atp) but still friendly and cheerful, a glance of her attitude, and you'd never expect she'll scream and curse like a sailor with a cheeky face.
Connsidering both of her own parents are revered gods and beings, she would be bold enough to not get intimidated by mere threats. Prone to lashing out violently, should things "isn't logical at all!!"Despite her bold and strong-willed attitude, she's smart enough to understand the things her mom would give. A small advice and she'll see it how her mom would do it.
A contradiction is what she is. Appear cold and withdrawn when you see her around, yet quickly changes once she warms up to you. Showing a more childlike and jovial side. Someone who shines like the sun under daylight, a being unlike any other beneath the moonlight.
A child who has both the ability of Sun Wukong and Suklha, a mix of Trickery and Knowledge. A child of Sorcery, eager to spread knowledge through the world, she is the reason why humanity is hell bent on discovery the maddness within the void. The truth behind the lies, since her birth humanity has been deriven to madness and delusions far more often than it should.
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misspelledwordswizard · 2 days ago
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Akdiwjabs I love the way you write four but what about the COLORS?
I love the colors sm!! I'll love more requests for them too, hehe
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Sounds coming from outside the inn caught my attention. It was night, all the boys were in the inn, either in their rooms or in some other room in the place, so there was no reason for me to worry. It must just be some drunk talking to himself. The only problem is that I recognized the voice, and besides being someone I know well, I’m sure it seemed to be coming from more than one person.
Well, I guess checking it out can’t hurt, right? I got up from the small sofa I was sitting on, reading a book, and went to look for something to cover myself and protect myself from the night’s cold. After putting on a coat, I went out through the front door of the inn, looking around. The street was empty, so it was easy to identify the sounds coming from nearby.
I walked to the back of the inn, away from the eyes, worried about what could be causing all this commotion. Of all the possibilities that crossed my mind, none of them were that the voice I heard was actually Four’s, but I was also right about there being more than one person, because right in front of me were four Fours. Ironic, I know.
He... they seemed to be discussing something that I couldn’t understand at first, too shocked by what was right in front of me, and they also didn’t seem to have noticed me standing there. Each of them wore the robe in a different color, each one of the colors of the original robe of the hero of the four swords.
Oh, hero of the four swords, so that’s what it means!
Not liking the idea of just standing there watching, or even leaving and them never even finding out that I knew their secret, I cleared my throat to get their attention. It seemed to work, they all looked at me surprised and somewhat shocked, becoming quiet immediately.
— Oh, calm down! It’s not what you’re thinking. – The one wearing the green tunic began, triggering the reaction of the others.
— Well, unless you’re thinking that we’re Four divided, then it’s exactly what you’re thinking! – The one in red said, receiving na elbow from the one in blue.
— It’s okay, we can explain everything. – The one in purple said, not seeming really worried about the situation.
It took me a while to process all of this, but I think it’s okay, after all, it’s Four. They are Four.
— Hm, okay, then explain. – I said, finding myself again at the wall nearby with my arms crossed, waiting.
— Well... we’re Four. – The green one replied, saying what I had already assumed.
— So Four is like, four people in one?
— Not exactly, more like we’re a quarter of one person each. We’re different parts of Four, different sides of it. – The one in purple explained better, and I thought I was starting to understand.
— And I suppose that’s because of the sword.
— Exactly. – the one in blue confirmed.
Right. It’s not that absurd. Just complex and strange. But reasonable.
— And what should I call you? One, two, three and four? – I asked, making the one in red laugh.
— We answer to Green, Red, Blue and Vio. – Green corrected me.
— Oh, right, that makes sense. – I sighed. That’s a lot for one night. – Do the others know?
— No, only Wild. And we prefer to keep it that way, understand? – Blue said, almost sounding like a threat, I just nodded.
Before I could speak I felt someone hug me suddenly. Red grabbed me affectionately, looking happy. If each one represents a feeling of Four’s, I guess this one is love.
— I’m so glad you know this now! I’ve wanted to tell you for a while, but the others didn’t agree. – He said, mumbling about his other parts. – And you’re taking it so well, how nice! Now we can get to know each other even better.
I laughed softly, I never thought I’d see the Blacksmith act so affectionately, it was kind of adorable. And to think that this is literally a part of him, it’s nice to be able to get to know this side of him.
— Okay, I’m still trying to figure this all out, but it’s actually pretty cool. It’s kind of like Four multiplied, all advantages. – I said without thinking very well, and mentally cursed myself for it. Okay, I went around saying that shit anyway, go ahead and confess that you have a crush on him... them.
Luckily, they didn’t seem to notice, or didn’t show it, the next thing I saw was Red being pulled by the hood by Blue, forcing him to let go of me.
— Okay, that’s enough, don’t be so clingy! Do you want to scare her, idiot?!
— Hey, you know you’re calling yourself an idiot too, right, genius?
— No, I’m calling you an idiot, you’re the idiot part, I’m the cool part!
— But we’re the same person!
The two argued back and forth, heavens, I’m still going to go crazy one of these days. The other two got closer to me, avoiding the brawlers.
— Don’t worry, ignore them, they’re a little nervous with your presence. – Green explained, generating more doubts in me.
— Why would they be nervous?
— Oh, it’s because- ouch! – He was cut off by a poor thing on the back of the neck from Vio. – Oh, nothing, forget it.
Oh, I can see it’s going to be a long night.
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beetleluminary · 2 days ago
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Pavlovian Love - an analysis and prediction of Sar/Bien
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This analysis has spoilers and assumes you've read BreadAVOTA until the latest update I1-5-RD, including the Further Reading sections and BienAVOTA.
Bien and Sar are interesting in their mandated un-interestingness: Bien is a character who is designated the antagonist instead of being the antagonist (which clearly mirrors Bread's cosmic role, although that's for a different post altogether). Sar, on the other hand, is a guy who just pops up with no context, no warning and no justification - though this reflects the "measure" he is tied to.
Being the most recently introduced character, Sar and Bien haven't had as much interactions compared to the other Nightmare Duo of BreadAVOTA, but the few chapters that do dwell on them have a vivid inspiration: Pavlov and his dogs.
"Fall in love, won't you now?"
The inspiration is no secret - Sar and Bien's introduction is blatantly labelled Pavlovian Love. What BreadAVOTA does interestingly is that it goes past the layman's knowledge of Pavlov and instead parallels the darker reality of Pavlov's experiments.
Let's start with the surface level interpretation, though. Sar "adopts" Bien and immediately starts conditioning him for his own ulterior motives. The "kindness" of all his interactions, from the superficially polite tone of his unreasonable request ("fall in love, won't you now?"), the constant preparation of food and the "leniency" for Bien's incompetence are all thin veneers over the character who is clearly the "actual" villain of the story.
With Bien being highly coded as a neurodivergent character, showing traits of both autism, schizoid personality disorder and schizotypal personality disorder (or even schizophrenia), Sar constantly talking to him like an ABA therapist would is hard to miss.
Sar's first encounter with Bien which immediately ends in Bien's "punishment" for attacking Sar, the very simple statement of "You don't tell me what I "should" be - I tell you", and all the lovebombing that comes afterward all points to his superficiality. He's nice to Bien as a form of conditioning him, and there's an underlying threat that if Bien goes out of line he'll get punished for it.
Yet Bien, despite being aware of this, can't help but feel a sense of flattery over Sar's exaggerated kindness, having been so deprived of kindness his entire life, like the dog that associates the bell with food even when it knows the sound won't satiate its hunger.
Food and the bell
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Food is a common reward that Sar offers Bien in all their interactions, and we see Sar feed Bien in every update since they start living together: "Good [ Results and Discussion ]", "Christmas Cookies" and in Bien's personal blog entry, "(Call For) Help". In all three chapters, they also talk about music, with Sar playing a piano song before every dinner.
The food and the music have their own significance in the larger BreadAVOTA universe. The "food", which later turns out to be made of "Mindstuff", is said to be how Sar "satiates" Bien, although what it actually does is a little vague. We know Media sent Bon and Bien food supposedly made of the same stuff, with Media telling Bon in a letter that he sends stuff Bien needs to be "healthy" (complete with the air quotes), and it's largely implied the rest of the Living also eat MargiFood™ that Media insists is basically no different from "real" food... you know, for the Living.
Bien is (probably) part-Marginal, and the Marginals as a species are subtly implied to feel insatiable hunger, so the implication that Bien needs to eat "Mindstuff" might not be too surprising.
As for the music, for Bien, it's a way for him to connect to his father. And for the rest of the world, music seems to be one of the ways that magic is performed with: the Annotations seem to be preceded with a song, Sar says that songs are one of the linguistic presentations magic can take, and Ava describes Reality as a song, with the Wires of Reality making sounds and the Voice of Reality being the "chorus" of it.
Sar promises to teach Bien the piano, and with this in mind, Sar might be banking on using music as a way for Bien to rewrite Reality (supposedly because Ava's plans of making him a writer instead are going nowhere).
All that said, the constant association Sar makes with food and music evokes the imagery of the "classical" Pavlovian experiment: a dog is fed food while ringing a bell, and eventually it'll salivate when a bell rings even without the food.
Except for one thing...
There is no bell.
"I'm trying - and will now shred ████ without mercy"
Warning for animal abuse
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Sar's shelf in I1-5-RD lets "you" (Bien) read excerpts from some of his books, and one of them contains a research paper about Pavlov's experiments (interestingly, with all mentions of Pavlov and dogs blocked out).
Although Pavlov's experiments are commonly taught to the general public and first-year psychology students to have used a bell, in reality his experiments were more complex (and often more brutal), using different stimuli like metronomes and electric shocks.
In Pavlov's studies of digestion, as the excerpt says, he would cut out a dog's esophagus and create a fistula. No matter how much a dog would eat, the food would fall out of its throat and never reach the stomach, meanwhile Pavlov and his fellow scientists would collect the secretions to study.
In "(Call For) Help", Bien complains about feeling the need to vomit, and Sar tells him that's impossible because there's nothing in him to vomit.
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We see in I1-4 that Bien's body is completely hollow, and while it's never been completely explained there's implications here and there that because Demon's don't naturally have Bodies, their Bodies might only superficially resemble "Real" Bodies. What's interesting is that Sar spends all his time feeding Bien - for him to comment that there can be nothing inside of Bien to vomit implies Sar must have certain expectations of where exactly that food is going.
Bien does have one thing inside of him: blood... or something like blood. If he's meant to closely parallel Pavlov's experiment that could make for some interesting theories.
The feeding experiments aren't the only things Pavlov did to his dogs though, and Sar's actions parallel some of his other experiments. The "spinal cord surgery" (and the foreboding implication that it wasn't really "just" a spinal cord surgery but a full on vivisection, based on how Sar describes it) is similar to Pavlov's own experiments where dogs where vivisected to study their digestive systems, and Bien's current living conditions resemble the "laboratory for central nervous system research":
The Towers of Silence
Bien's point of view is never shown post-surgery: we're only ever shown Sar, who looks at "you" as if you were Bien and does all the talking. If Bien "says" anything we can only hear it from Sar repeating and implying it, but never from Bien actually being given the chance to speak.
It signifies Sar's dominance over him, both as a character and in the meta-textual context of the narrative. But besides that, Bien's perpetual silence is an interesting parallel to the Towers of Silence experiment.
The "Towers" were soundproof buildings where experiments were performed on dogs specifically to try and break them down into madness: random stimuli were paired together to see how the dogs would react, like electric shocks coupled with force-feeding. "(Call For) Help" shows this the most blatantly. Where Bien ate on his own (if reluctantly) in the previous chapters, in "(Call For) Help" it seems that Sar is actively force-feeding him, with the last lines being Sar telling Bien to stop fidgeting.
Ava, at one point in Bien's blog, compares herself to Bien, saying that Bien's neuroses over his isolation (at this time, when he was alone in the military bunker) reminded Ava of her own experience in the "Recursive Panopticon" - with I1-3's Further Reading section showing to us that the Recursive Panopticon seems to be something vague, surreal and maddening.
There's another very obvious parallel here in regards to being an experiment for brutal psychological experiments, of course...
Like Father, Like Son
Bien's not the first Demonic teenager subject to inscrutable experiments. That crown goes to his father, Bon, whose experiments under the Maldevaran Centre of Supranatural Research and Development were similarly vague and highly traumatic.
Here are excerpts about Milord and Postrel, two of the dogs the Towers of Silence, taken from the Kingdom of dogs exhibit (where the book on Sar's shelf is referenced from)
Milord - Markedly more placid and peaceful than POSTREL. Expected his experimentally induced breakdown to reflect inborn character difference. Hypothesis confirmed — M has broken in the direction of ​‘inhibition’.* Previously established conditional reflexes disappeared. Stopped salivating to most ALL positive stimuli as shock was increased. Attempts to cure Milord with bromide solutions and rest unsuccessful. He has been retired. Phlegmatic character. Balanced, calm, consistent, not easily aroused. *Results later rejected in their entirety Postrel - We are combining shocks with food to test if breakdown can be experimentally induced, and if direction of break reflects inborn character — choleric in Postrel’s case. Hypothesis confirmed — Postrel has broken in the direction of ​‘excitation’.* Previously established conditional reflexes are now erratic. Salivation in response to ANY stimuli excessive and undifferentiated. The animal’s reflexes are shattered. ​‘Will now observe therapeutic effects of bromide salts. and rest. Choleric character. Lively, sociable, extremely excitable. *Results later rejected in their entirety.
Bon and Bien are really similar to the dog of Pavlov's experiment: the more "placid" Bon, who is better at controlling their Demonic "instincts" compared to the more "choleric" Bien, who was far more impulsive and violent. Bon breaking down and becoming more subdued seems to reflect Milord's results - we haven't seen what will happen to Bien yet, but if this parallel means anything then it looks like he's going to become far more erratic under Sar's care.
Going by how Bien reacted to his time with Ava in the bunker, this is likely to be the case - Bien already seems predisposed to neuroticism, constantly freaking out and fluctuating between childish excitement to detached and even cruel apathy in his appearances.
"Your presence (here) is of utmost value to the recipe..."
So Sar is an evil mad scientist and Bien is the schizoautistic kid he's bullying to the death. Alright, we can leave it there, I guess? Sar is nice to Bien because he's gaslighting and manipulating him, case closed.
Well, I recommend reading the paper that Sar's shelf has in full. The paper itself claims that its intention isn't merely to "damn Pavlov in retrospect" but to focus on the lives of the animals that were experimented on and to dispel the illusion that they were completely passive in the experiments.
As Todes noted, this set-up facilitated a relationship in some ways akin to 'pet and master'; it resembles what we might today call a companion species bond. That said, on the experimenter stand it was a relationship often defined by a shared tedium. The hours would often drag for both – experiments were monotonous and wearisome, involving little more than pressing a button to trigger a stimulus, measuring saliva, proffering small amounts of food at strictly regulated intervals. And then waiting. Apparently, a key challenge was staying awake – either animal falling asleep at the 'wrong' time was potentially ruinous for the experimental procedure. However, it also meant human and canine co-workers got to know each other to an unprecedented extent compared to Pavlov's early career. 
Sar's and Bien's time together, despite their shared goal being something larger-than-life and implied to be urgent, is remarkably mundane. The contrast between the Protagonist Half being a disjointed mess of lulrandomxD events to the repetitive, maddening tedium of Bien's life is notable. Bien reads and writes and codes and reads and writes and codes, and when he moves to Anselir with Sar, Sar makes him do all those things again, enforcing a strict schedule on him as a way to keep time stable in the disjointed reality of Anselir.
The presentation of Sar and Bien's time makes it foreboding. Sar's constant dominance of the conversations, his creepy attitude, the visuals from Bien's point of view being a contrast of a dark background with neon text and highly pixellated and distorted graphics, and Bien's increasing incoherence and borderline-psychotic episodes, these are all different elements that make Bien's portions of BreadAVOTA notably more disturbing than Bread's half of the narrative.
And yet, when you look at it literally, nothing ever actually happens. Bien embodies the "measure" he is stuck in, as the Eye of Space.
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Like the Towers of Silence, Bien's stuck in an inescapable torture (especially with the unspoken but horrifying implication that the spinal cord surgery "tethers" him to Anselir so that he can't ever leave), but it's not the type of violence we see happening in the Time measures (where violence, it seems, is rendered meaningless because it undoes itself).
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Bien's torture is more psychological in nature. From his life at home, his time at the War, his time in the bunker to his present day in Anselir, Bien's lived a life of being constantly trapped, in a situation where no matter what changes it stays the fucking same.
...and more importantly, to me"
And the interesting parallel he has with Sar is that Sar is stuck in the same situation.
The obvious interpretation is that Sar is nice to Bien because he needs Bien for whatever bullshit experiment he's trying to run, and that he doesn't really care about Bien to any meaningful degree. And maybe that's true now, but my personal theory is that over the course of them being stuck together in Anselir, a place where it's confirmed that even short periods of time feel like forever, Sar's going to develop a genuine attachment Bien.
Sar's an enigmatic character whose motives are hard to guess, and a major factor to that is that we already met Anthony, and even though Sar is Anthony... well, he's really not like Anthony.
We don't know why exactly Sar is so different, but the author does say that being alone for so long drove him "mildly insane." Anthony's antisocial and seems to hate everyone to the point of considering hate as a more important emotion than love, so seeing Sar being so polite (no matter how fake) is a jarring change in character.
In I1-5, there's one detail I noticed. When Bien asks about the MargiBirds, Sar says that he adopted Media's mannerisms so that the Birds would listen to him. And Sar is... vaguely Media-like, in that Media himself is a person who is superficially polite just to get what he wants. But Media and Sar don't exactly act 100% alike, although it's hard to pinpoint in what way they differ. I guess in a way Sar has a more uncanny quality to him, even though Media's the one who's literally an alien computer ghost.
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The last line here is pretty interesting. I think that in the absence of any "Living" company, Anthony gradually grew more miserable in Anselir, and his weird personality was a way to try and get the birds to interact with him more just so he'd have someone to talk to. And man, Sar talks a lot.
I can't help but feel that although Sar likely has his own secret goals that take priority, he does feel genuinely relieved that Bien is there with him to spend the tedium of eternity with, even if it might be less about Bien as an individual and more about just having an actual person in Anselir.
Results and Discussion (And Conclusion)
BreadAVOTA as a whole strongly delves on themes of isolation and alienation, and the (often terrible) results that come from having it imposed on others without them having the power to do anything about it.
The decision to make such a unique fictional world with a supposed focus on "worldbuilding" and yet to only ever show Maldevaran life in passing, and the tendency to focus on characters who are mostly unlikable and difficult to understand are risky decisions from a writing standpoint, and it's a little arguable whether rolypolyphonic actually does them well, but I recognize that there's a specific question being asked in choosing to make the story be about what it is. It's a question Ava herself asks Bien when she criticizes Bien's shitty fanfictions:
Why should anybody in the audience care about these unsympathetic characters?
Bien's reply is framed as "stupid", but it touches on one of BreadAVOTA's themes: "why do i need to write down why people need to "sympathise" with mieszko? it should be obvious. you should simply feel bad for anybody ever."
Bien being apathetic and violent usually would be in poor taste considering how he's so coded to be autistic/schizophrenic, but BreadAVOTA's worldbuilding helps toe around the fact by making physical "death" something more trivial and by focusing on the more existential aspects of Maldevaran philosophy, which touches upon the real experiences of people with "bad" mental illnesses: schizophrenia, personality disorders and and "conduct disorders".
The idea of people who become "villainous" as a result of poor upbringing isn't new to fiction, but BreadAVOTA does put an interesting focus on the "poor upbringing" not necessarily being explicit abuse or trauma but a more silent yet perpetual feeling of alienation and disconnect, fitting for the story's overarching theme being an "allegory for schizotypy".
The Kingdom of Dogs leaves us with this compelling message, which feels relevant to Sar and Bien and BreadAVOTA's themes as a whole.
It is an understatement to say that we rarely get to hear about these aspects of Pavlov's work today, a forgetting which extends to the majority of scholarship on Pavlov, where dogs appear only in passing as experimental objects, never as subjects about which we should express care or concern.
BreadAVOTA doesn't necesarily asks its audience to "like" or "care" about its characters, and as the breadposters (all three of us) have noted there's a tendency to make the characters hard to like or care about. But it's not a story that tries to convince you to like the characters. It's just taking the opportunity to express these uncommon perspectives from the first person point of view.
Paraphrased from the author's own words, "there's always the risk of offending people with my portrayal of being schizoid, so you can go and read books that say nothing bad about being schizoid by virtue of never saying anything about it at all."
I doubt that Sar and Bien's relationship will stop as something so one-sided and passive, where Sar tells Bien what to do and what to say, but that eventually it's going to be complicated by the effects that both of them faced being isolated growing up (Bien in his Exile, Anthony/Sar as the youngest Judge), the way they were pathologized for it, and the unhealthy concept of relationships they formed as a result.
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kedreeva · 3 days ago
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Here is the link.
https://www.fightforthefuture.org/actions/no-on-hr9495
This may not be a 'the site is going down, man the lifeboats' situation, but it IS a situation where your call can make a huge difference, and help to prevent this being a problem. AO3 is important to a lot of people here, but this bill stands to hurt a lot of other nonprofits as well. You know who else is a nonprofit that I can pretty much guarantee they'll go after? Planned Parenthood. There's also TONS of resources for mental health, low-cost food, facilities that help with paying staple bills (electric, water, etc), many homeless shelters, and so on that you KNOW republicans would love to get rid of so their precious money isn't going to help The Lazy Slacking Poor People Stealing All Their Jobs or whatever nonsense they come up with to justify being horrible. AO3 won't be the only place under threat, any place that might help people the far right doesn't like would make an excellent target. And you can fight for all of them at once by calling and encouraging your politicians to strike this bill down.
When you use the site, this is the script they will provide you, but they won't do this until they're on the line. I KNOW some of us have trouble being ready to make phone calls, and need a script to study up front, so I'm moving it here, but you will want to go to the site. They'll connect you automatically to your rep, you don't even have to look up the rep or number yourself.
“I am calling to urge my representative to vote no on H.R. 9495 today. This is a dangerous bill would give the Trump administration unilateral power to label any non-profit as terrorist supporting and shut it down without due process. I am calling on my representative to defend civil rights organizations and oppose this bill. Thank you.”
Look, we're going to be stuck with Trump come Jan 6th, that's already been decided unless the universe makes an executive decision about his lifespan. What you, and anyone you can possibly reach, is responsible for, is fighting tooth and nail against everything he wants to do. In this instance, it's making a phone call. Do not wait, do not put it off, do not tell yourself you'll do it later so you can forget until it's too late.
This is what resistance looks like today. Resist.
EDIT: So, I called at the end of writing this, and apparently this is for last thursday, as it went to vote. It passed the house, so that's. Not great. Calling did, according to the message I got, flip a lot of votes, but not enough to strike it down. Time to call your senate reps instead.
Readers, make sure you have all your favourite Ao3 fics downloaded.
Writers, make sure you have copies of all the fics you have posted on Ao3.
I don’t want to be alarming, but things could get really bad really fast. OTW shared this today on Twitter, and I'm a bit worried about it 😅
Ao3 is a non-profit organisation. If they have to start paying taxes, I have no idea what will happen.
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rainbowssi · 3 days ago
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moment of silence
girls generation 9th member au
harry defends hannah and makes an statement
masterlist 💎 requests are open feedback is always important to me!
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Hannah watched Harry’s concert from the backstage area as if it was the first time.
It didn’t matter how many concerts she attended, she’d always be shocked at how Harry had the talent to make it different, not two were the same. 
Fortunately, their schedule matched while she was in London for a quick photoshoot for LV and he was there with his tour. Hannah felt so happy she would be able to, at least, watch him doing his favorite thing ever in the middle of the whole chaos of their agendas. 
From where she was standing, she could have a perfect view from his left side profile that she loved so much and the right side of the stadium, which, as usual, was sold out. Drinking a good sip of her beer, Hannah wasn’t worrying about anything but enjoying that moment. 
Every time during a break, Harry would look over at her, wiking or throwing kisses, just to make sure she was being noticed and to reassure her that her presence mattered to him, and Hannah felt like falling for him even more.
By that time, the arena was alive with energy, the crowd’s roar echoing off the walls. Lights flashed in rhythm with the music, and Harry stood in the center stage, pouring his heart into the final chorus of “Golden", Hannah's favorite song. 
But Harry's body language suddenly changed and he tensed out suddenly, making Hannah frown as she drank a bit more of her beer, already warm. 
As Hannah scanned the audience, even stepping out of the backstage area a bit, making some fans scream for her, a board caught her eyes, probably the same that made Harry mad, with large, bold letters painted in black, the fan screaming "Hannah is a slut" with all her lungs. 
She knew some fans didn't like her. In fact, she'd even say they hated her. But it's not like Hannah wasn't used to people having mixed feelings about her. Like, come on, she was a k-pop idol.
But, as for Harry, the words hit him like a punch to the gut. It was his first ever time watching all the threats and misunderstood concepts of his fans in respect of his girlfriend coming to life. 
For a moment, everything else - the music, the crowd, the lights - faded into a blur, and his smile faltered. 
In the back of his head, even with the in-ear monitors on, he could listen to Hannah's voice telling him that it was okay, to let that go, but his voice trembled slightly as he finished the song, trying to push through the surge of anger bubbling beneath the surface.
As the final note rang out, the arena erupted in cheers, but Harry’s eyes remained locked on the sign. He took a deep breath, stepping away from the mic stand.
Just like Hannah did, the band noticed the shift in his demeanor, the subtle tension in his movements. The audience, sensing something was off, began to quiet.
"What is happening?" Hannah heard Harry's management team murmuring. "Why is he stopping?" 
"Is he okay?" someone else, the stylist, asked. 
"There's a fan with a board calling me a slut." Hannah said and the whole team went silent. "He can't stop the concert because of that." 
"Harry," the sound director said in the mic connected directly to Harry's monitors. "let's move on. We're almost done." 
However, Harry walked back to the center of the stage, his voice calm but firm. 
"Can we talk for a moment?" he asked the fans, taking his in-ear monitors off, making the whole team sigh. 
The crowd hushed, anticipation thick in the air. Fans near the front exchanged confused glances as this wasn’t part of the show. Hannah, on the other hand, placed a hand on her chest, trying to calm herself. 
Harry pointed to the section where he’d seen the sign. 
"You," he said, his voice steady but intense. "with the sign.".
There was a ripple of murmurs as the sign-holder hesitated, as if they couldn’t believe they were finally being noticed. The security approached, ready to intervene, but Harry raised a hand, stopping them. 
“No, let them stay.”, he told them. 
Hannah felt her heart in her throat. She wanted to tell him it was okay, that it was just some random person seeking attention. Yet, deep down, she knew it ran deeper than that - there were layers of racism and prejudice beneath the surface. 
Harry scanned the crowd, his voice carrying a quiet, intense fury that commanded attention. He couldn’t comprehend the hatred some fans had for Hannah. She had done nothing but bring him happiness and love. Why would they target someone so important to him? To Harry, being a true fan didn’t include tearing down the person he loved.
“Hannah is someone I love,” he began, his voice strong and clear. “She is so talented, kind, and one of the strongest people I know. She doesn’t deserve to be talked about like that. No one does.” Harry continued, his eyes scanning the audience. “Words matter. The things we say, the things we write. They have power. Saying something like this to someone is hurtful. It’s damaging.”
A wave of cheers erupted, but Harry raised his hand, signaling for silence. For what Hannah could tell, some people were even crying, the raw honesty in his voice struck a chord. 
“This isn’t just about Hannah. It’s about all of us. We’ve created a world where tearing people down is too easy. Where judgment is louder than kindness. That’s not the world I want to live in. That’s not the world I want my fans to be part of.” he continued. 
Harry’s gaze returned to the sign-holder, as did Hannah’s. 
“I’m not here to shame you. I’m here to ask you to be better. We all can be. Think about the kind of energy you’re putting out into the world.” he told the fan. The sign slowly lowered, disappearing into the crowd. Security moved to escort the person out, but Harry shook his head. “Let them stay. Maybe they’ll learn something tonight.”
The fact that he could still be kind after all that, made Hannah’s heart beat even faster - if that was any possible. She didn’t deserve someone like him, he was too precious for all of that. 
The fact that he could still show kindness after everything made Hannah’s heart race even faster - if that was even possible. She felt a pang of disbelief; she didn’t deserve someone like him. He was too precious for this world.
The crowd erupted in cheers, the energy shifting, becoming something brighter, stronger. Fans near the front started chanting things like “we love Hannah”, “Hannah is the best”, making Harry smile while tears glistened in his eyes. 
“Thank you.” he said. 
The band took the cue and started the next song while Harry walked over Hannah’s direction, making her notice the tears she didn't even know she had cried. He opened his arms, giving her a quick yet loving hug, kissing her cheek and wiping her tears. 
“It’s okay.” he whispered to her. “I love you.” he reassured her. 
“I love you way more.” she answered in the same tone. 
“That’s impossible.” he answered before winking at her and going back to his spot. 
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pinkandpurple360 · 17 hours ago
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yikes at that anon lecturing you, but especially at this part
Paying attention to Stolas language in Murder Family, fucked up context aside, he don't bring up consequences if Blitz didn't accept the trade neither mentioned his power to threat him to accept it either, he offered and even asked if it's fair, someone as powerful as Stolas could control Blitz easily, yet he doesn't and it shows a lot about his character, but of fucking course you all don't care about that, Stolas is a big meanie.
what is it with Stolas fans and acting like what he says is the only thing that matters in that scene? saying 'fucked up context aside' is just trying to sweep away the entire problem people have with that scene
the context is what makes it unfair. the context is the threat to make Blitzo accept the deal - Stolas knew Blitzo was in danger and couldn't think straight and kept the call going anyway. there was a literal threat to Blitzo's life that Stolas was leveraging to get him to agree. the context is also where the control comes in - Blitzo needs access to the book therefore Stolas has control over him, because Blitzo has significant reason to agree regardless of whether he wants to or not to be able to keep being able to eat and house both himself and Loona. this isn't that hard to understand; it's no different than a power difference between a tenant and a landlord. except Stolas is worse because he's literal royalty and Blitzo is part of a species considered less than dirt
and Blitzo especially has reason to think there will be consequences for saying no because Stolas is showing him through ignoring all the signs he's in danger on that phone call that he does not care for his wellbeing - he called when Blitzo's life was in danger and he knew that full well. there's no 'yeah but'-ing to get out of that one. saying 'well Stolas could have been way more overt with his control!' is not a defense. Stolas is such a malicious abuser because he's the one person in the cast who isn't a mustache-twirling silent movie villain about it, because he'll do things like say 'sound fair?' when everything about the situation is weighted in his favor. this part is basically saying 'he could have been super obvious about how he was going to force Blitzo into sex but because he tried to pretend like he was being fair (even when he blatantly wasn't) that shows what a good person he is!'
also this:
This misconception you all have that Stolitz fans think all this needs to happen is Blitz to confess, and that Stolas has nothing more to improve is just wrong. Just plain wrong. I love both of these characters and I hate seeing an enormous mischaracterization of both.
I personally haven't seen the (remaining) Stolitz shippers saying this for one simple reason: I avoid their spaces. I don't like seeing posts similar to anon's where anything Stolas does wrong is the result of a misunderstanding or just Blitzo taking it badly because he's insecure or something, or worse where the very obvious signifiers of abuse on Stolas' part are handwaved away. I know that stuff will bug me so I avoid it
but anon clearly doesn't abide by the same rules. they're so bothered by a 'mischaracterization' of their faves that they're marching into people's inboxes to write long screeds about how antis are just missing the point or whatever else.
if there's only one anon or several my advice is the same: stay out of anti spaces. you clearly can't handle it and you need to stop making it everyone else's problem. if this ramping up of pestering people is some strange attempt to shut down criticism of the next ep before it even drops, you're wasting your time. the view counts on helluva show it's turned off a lot of people and you can't debate someone back into loving something that's let them down too many times
just go enjoy the show in your own spaces and block tags/people whose takes you don't want to see. trying to police people's critiques on helluva is both a losing battle and a waste of time
“Stolas is great if you just pay attention to his sad backstory and try not to think about the bad stuff he did. And attribute all the bad stuff to Blitz being a mentally ill tsundere”
Any time I am exposed to a owlizard shipper it’s always against my will despite my best efforts, because they are absolutely everywhere. The creator of the show is one of them, the entire show was thrown out to instead be catered to them and their headcanons. They make up almost the entire fan space and in fact shippers write and animate the very show itself.
But it’s still not good enough? They still have to rant about people that aren’t on their team?
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desmon1995 · 1 day ago
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How the Warriors created a fantastic opening.
When it comes to setting the tone for a concept album, the opening tracks are everything. For The Warriors album, the first three songs—Survive the Night, Roll Call, and The Warriors Cypher—do exactly what they need to do: introduce the world, set up the stakes, and give us everything we need to know about the characters. By the end of these tracks, not only are you fully immersed in this reimagined New York City, but you’re already seeing themes unfold that will circle back perfectly by the finale.
"Survive the Night"
The first track sets the scene in a big way. DJ Lynn—our Greek Chorus and guide for the album—takes the mic, introducing us to the chaotic world of NYC and the boroughs the Warriors have to escape from. This is genius for two reasons.
The Radio as the Storytelling Device: In the movie, everyone listens to the radio to keep tabs on what’s happening. The album leans into this, using DJ Lynn to tie together the narrative. It’s a nod to the original and a creative way to keep the story moving.
The Voices of the Boroughs: Instead of showing us gangs heading to the summit, the album gives the boroughs themselves a voice, starting with Chris Rivers as the Bronx.
The Bronx speaks on its struggles—how systemic change is the only way to stop the violence that’s tearing it apart. Rivers, as Big Pun’s son, brings an extra layer of depth. He’s literally continuing a legacy, which mirrors how various warriors end up inheriting the will of Cyrus like Cleon or how Fox herself ends up taking after her fellow Warriors Swan and Ajax.
Nas follows as Queens, representing struggle and perseverance. He speaks to the creativity and resourcefulness of people born into tough circumstances, as well as the constant threat of being seen as a danger by the system—even when you’re just trying to rise above.
Nas himself grew up in the NYC projects in queensbridge and has directly suffered from Reaganomics growing up, and all of that turmoil caused him to become a rapper so he can literally ride his way out of the situation.
Came’ron as Manhattan shifts the tone, highlighting the borough’s wealth and privilege. Manhattan doesn’t face the same struggles as the others, and the disconnect is clear.
Manhattan out of all of the cities represents the class divide that we see throughout the album as due to lavish the city is it doesn't have to worry about how it's going to survive because it's the upper echelon of New York City.
The Staten Islands, are voiced by Wu-Tang’s Ghostface Killah and RZA which while it's just an elongated joke about how far they have to go to get to the summit there is a lot of insightful meaning here.
Firstly, the Wu-Tang clan renamed the Islands Shaolin to reclaim the image from the media as it being a inhabitable ghetto and to reflect how growing up there in the community made them who they ultimately became.
Reclamation is something many marginalized communities do be it with harmful words used by their oppressors or images that society tries to tout.
Swan does this with Luther's "Going Down" leitmotif before she eventually ends him.
Busta Rhymes closes out the borough roll call as Brooklyn, the most welcoming of all. Brooklyn celebrates diversity, something the Warriors embody as a group. They’re a mix of different backgrounds and styles, but their differences make them stronger.
Busta was a rapper that eventually took off by being a part of their groups and would often participate in various freestyles (his work with A tribe called quest is legendary) so he speaks to the truth of forming a found family within the rap community
"Roll Call"
The second track is quick but effective. It introduces the Warriors as a team and establishes Cleon as their maternal figure. Cleon insists they’re going to the summit, and while not everyone agrees, they all respect her enough to follow.
This track subtly establishes the sisterhood among the Warriors. They may bicker or disagree, but they have each other’s backs no matter what.
"The Warriors Cypher"
The final piece of the opening trifecta gives us a deeper look at the individual personalities in the group.
Cochise: The loyal soldier, always ready to support.
Cowgirl: Wild and free-spirited, she brings the positivity the group needs.
Fox: The youngest and prettiest, with an almost RPG-like growth arc that makes her fun to watch.
Cleon: The fearless leader and heart of the group.
Rembrandt: The introspective artist who sees what others can’t.
Ajax: The temperamental muscle, tough but with a hidden soft side.
Swan: The aloof but big-hearted leader, second only to Ajax in battle-readiness.
By the end of this track, you know exactly who the Warriors are. Their personalities bounce off each other, and you can already feel the respect and trust they have as a team.
After everything is settled you basically understand all you need to know so the musical can surprise you with various twists and turns but regardless of what new themes get added you already know the essentials
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