#they have already shown their true behavior

[ludo-nadir]

There any many contentious points that must be addressed here, and so I will do so to the best of my ability. Needless to say, the abhorrent stance taken by user bruce-boinkers-69 is repulsive, I will nevertheless attempt to discuss why their remarks are grossly incorrect, as well as deeply bigoted in nature without colouring my words with my disgust.

Naturally, user bruce-boinkers-69 will most likely not engage with the following at all, given their history of vitriol towards all who oppose their actions and words.

Firstly, the terminology used:

Regarding other humans as "illegal" or "illegals" is a primary case of dehumanization. User bruce-boinkers-69; the more appropriate term is "undocumented".

To address people as "illegal" is improper and falls under racist ideologies due to the nature of the word: it frames all such people with the connotation of criminality and thusly exploits the hatred and fear ignorant masses have of the Other.

You create a negative association with violence and criminality where none exist and thus perpetuate a cycle of violence and hatred against a marginalized class of people.

Secondly, the framing:

User bruce-boinkers-69 is a prime example of the perpetuation of fearmongering and radicalization tactics employed by the far right.

"people who come across the border into my country without taking the proper steps to integrate into my countries culture and customs"

It is of import to note that such regulations of immigrations have been in place only within the past 100 years; prior to this, immigration such as what user bruce-boinkers-69 is vividly imagining was perfectly acceptable and a normal aspect of life. Furthermore, claiming the country as "theirs" erases the history of the indigenous people, of which they most certainly take advantage of and benefit from the violent theft of land and genocide from.

People are alive today that are immigrants or first-generation children of immigrants who have known a free border with no such vitriolic rhetoric as theirs.

"after essentially invading my country"

Again, this terminology is specifically chosen to illicit a negative connotation with immigrants. The verbiage is intended to provoke a sense of criminality and impending fear, not unlike the tactics utilized by the radical right.

Thirdly,

"and using what’s supposed to be my resources"

Pray tell, of what resources do you refer, user bruce-boinkers-69? Social security? Undocumented people do not receive such. If you are concerned, you need look only to your current leadership in wonder of where it is being funneled.

Jobs? Certainly, I believe you must truly wish for the same jobs that many undocumented immigrants pick up, yes? You wish to work in construction, agriculture, warehouses? No? Perhaps you believe it to be other jobs?

Perhaps your ire is better reserved for the corporations who choose to hire people they more easily take advantage of to earn more profit than your fellow human being, yes?

Do tell, what "resources" do you believe these people are erroneously "stealing" from you? Such clarity will never be provided. This rhetoric, after all, depends on obfuscation of logic through vague fear.

Fourthly,

"they then proceeded to be criminals and cartel members."

Ahh here we go, the heart of the matter. A prime example of the violent language of hate spewed forth by those who are supremely ignorant, particularly racist, or of the higher echelon aiming to pit lower-class civilians against each other to conceal the true villain depriving others of wealth and dignity. Which one is user bruce-boinkers-69, I wonder?

To clarify my point, this is again another clear-cut case of the utilization of criminality to spark fear of the Other. To proclaim all immigrants as dangerous criminals to be feared and ostracized.

And yet, if pressed, this user will not have the capacity to support this wild claim. They have no means of which to supply data to verify to others that immigrants are dangerous people.

Because they are not.

Fifthly,

Take particular note of user bruce-boinker-69's terminology: "Cartels" It takes little imagination to discern what they are truly implying with their harmful language of "illegals". They do not truly mean all undocumented immigrants, only those that are of darker complexion from central and south America. That is where the heart of the problem lies to them, after all. "Criminals" and "cartels", words associated with Hispanic immigrants.

What this user fails to realize, or is blatantly ignoring, is that undocumented immigration comes from all parts of the world: Asia, the pacific islands, the Caribbean, Europe, Canada. Are we to believe all these people are also criminals part of the Cartel?

Surely not. After all, this user doesn't mean those immigrants.

Only the ones they associate with the cartel: Hispanic immigrants.

And therein lies the heart of the matter:

Every word and phrase spun by this user is drawn from an inherently racist origin. They mean to imply criminality specifically with immigrants from Central America, of which their hatred is indirectly focused.

They obfuscate their hatred with well-known racist rhetoric; "illegals", "stealing resources", "cartels", "invading", oft in an effort to provide plausible deniability over accusations of racism, but the evidence is quite clear.

Make no doubts about it: the very essence of each of these phrases spewed from the vile mouth of this user come from deeply racist origins.

To fall into the trappings of hateful propaganda spun by the radical far Right can feel shameful. I am certain many people have fallen into the same beliefs, as it is by design.

However, it is important to understand that knowing the intent of these words is a critical step towards unlearning the damage. Towards treating other humans with respect and dignity, and avoid the beginnings of systematic racism, segregation, and genocide.

User bruce-boinkers-69, however, will likely dig their heels in on the matter.

A shame, but at the very least, perhaps others can learn from their failings and avoid repeating such deplorable rhetoric in the future.

I know people like to dunk on her but seriously do not give Bruce the time of day. She's a racist asshole.

[seraphdreams]

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY, MEGUMI!" | MEGUMI FUSHIGURO.

𓏲 ࣪₊♡𓂃— synopsis. it would be so very cruel of you to not show your appreciation for your best friend, especially on his birthday.

𓏲 ࣪₊♡𓂃— cw. smut, college au, reader calls him “megs”, mention of “angelcunt”, unprotected love-making, bimbo!reader / best friend!megumi, a bit of asphyxiation, megumi with a crush! fingering, and praise. mdni <3

𓏲 ࣪₊♡𓂃— word count. 1.7k, a quick read !!

𓏲 ࣪₊♡𓂃 — dolled up! hellooo !! it’s a real one’s birthday, this is the least i could do to celebrate. i’m trying to get back into the groove of writing again so stay tuned n ready 4 fics in the future !! sweet college au best friend megumi is always on my mind, something about a stoic but secretly in love trope .. (he’s no better than his father, sigh) .. as always, if you enjoyed this, please reblog / comment. i’ll bake u you’re favorite sweets if u do !! thank u ♡

megumi has always been there for you. through ups and downs, taxing breakups, even the times you’d get exceedingly inebriated and ramble endlessly about your ever-growing appreciation for him — there was no denying the cordiality he’d shown throughout the many years of your friendship. sure, he could be quite cold, maybe even grumpy; but that was just the joy of megumi fushiguro.

and for that, it’d only be right to repay him.

for all of the times he would show up uninvited to your dorm with the notes of the lecture you’d fortuitously missed, blaming the absence on the absurdly quiet lull of your alarm clock, or when he’d let you have the last bite of his food, because only god knows megumi was never above tolerating you. it’d be the work of a terrible friend to let it all go unnoticed, especially on a special day like today.

“happy birthday, megs!” there you stood,

bubbly and bright as ever, in the doorway of his bedroom, clad in nothing but a tiny pink pajama set with a top reigning transparency, it barely left the skin beneath to the imagination.

he had invited you, along with yuuji and nobara, over to his dorm the previous night to keep him company after class — which led to a kugisaki-induced movie marathon, and eventually phased out into the four of you passed out on the fushiguro’s couch, hues of light omitting from the colorful rays of the forgotten television screen and onto your slumbering faces.

with megumi holding the title of competency within the friend group, it came as no shock when he’d woken up the others to send them on their merry way. all except you, of course. the light throw-over blanket clinging to your body neatly as you slept, soft snores resonating within your being aided in megumi’s decision to give you a few extra minutes to rest.

he could never interfere with your comfort.

after your unanticipated birthday wishes, it took a moment for megumi to come to, blinking away his awareness for your scantily clothed body and opting for a more stoic expression.

“thanks,” he replied, tone low and clouded with an air of vague appreciation.

“wanna know what i got you for your birthday?” your query was that of a sing-song manner as you swayed in place. megumi was used to being around absolute rays of sunshine, but you? you were different. it was as if you were the sun itself; warm and inviting yet shone luminous enough to blind onlookers. you were tooth-rottingly sweet, and as bubbly as you were naive.

matters weren’t made any better forgoing the fact that megumi had true feelings for you. it was a running gag within your friend group, jokes that itadori and nobara would make concerning the contrast between megumi’s unwelcoming behavior when it came to them, and impassive patience had times fell upon you.

in fact, obliviousness was your specialty in being ignorant to the feelings of the fushiguro. it wasn’t your fault, you truly didn’t know.

megumi responds curtly, although with a hint of sarcasm, “a break?”

you pout as you rest your head against the lacquered doorframe, reigning defeated already despite the conversation barely racking up a minute’s time. “no, silly.” the words come out as a giggle. “i got you me!”

a hint of confusion glosses over his features before it morphs into that of a neutral expression. shirtless from his shower just minutes prior, and puzzled from what your mind had conjured up this time, he questions again. “you? you got me you?”

you shake your head affirmatively as he starts up once more. “and what do i do with you?”

clear as day, your exchange took a rather suggestive turn, one that neither of you were intending. “well, you can do a lot of things with me,” now stepping into the room to close the distance between your bodies, your response is thick with an air of lust that megumi noticed seemed to come naturally for you. his heart picks up in pace from the sight of your pretty face, and even prettier eyes looking vacantly into his, as if you weren’t aware of the trap you set up for yourself.

he brushed off the slight arousal brewing up within him, chose to play it off as mirth like he usually did when it came to you. “i guess so.”

you held onto his arm, a more distinct, yet adorable look of seriousness on your features. truly, you were a little doll. “i’m for real, megs. it’s your birthday, i’ll let you do anything you want.”

yeah. you’re really going to regret this one.

the word “anything” came with free reign. and even though megumi thought of himself as anyone but a pervert, he certainly was bound to start acting like one.

“anything?” his question came out as if he was treading lightly while he moved to dig through his drawer, perhaps looking for a shirt.

you stepped back to allow him the space of rummaging, while nodding your head and confirming his suspicions. “anything.”

“let’s fuck, then.”

his tone was nonchalant, easy on your ears as his speaking voice regularly sounded, and you would have missed his request had he not straightened up to search your countenance for an answer — deadpan, as if he hadn’t said a thing.

in that moment, all of what you hadn’t noticed, no. all of what you chose to deny had finally been put into perspective.

megumi fushiguro was fucking hot.

“i mean, if that’s what you want then i don’t mind.” your response was succinct, gentle on your tongue and provided him the response he’d been aiming for.

this might be his best birthday yet.

he strode closer to you in light steps before his large, glacial hand found its place on your cheek and silken lips met yours, pulling you into a salacious kiss filled with hunger and want. the press of his tongue begging to be allotted within the slot of your lips was accepted with your own muscle dancing against his. it was dizzying, and dissimilar. for all your years of knowing megumi, you would’ve never thought up the occuring situation.

lithe fingers danced up the skin of your thighs where you part them on instinct, allowing his digits to work on their own to slip past the barrier of elastic fabric and into your little lace panties, softly drumming along the puffy nub of your clit.

“megumi,” you rasp against his lips, swirling your hips over his hand to build up the sweet friction surging from your core. the saccharine croon of his name tasted sugary like vanilla rolling off of your tongue and onto his. he was in pure bliss; ready to take everything you gave to him.

his body responded to your need, fingertips at your clit circling tightly, an action that pulled a string of mewls from you before you gasped at the intrusion of his long fingers dipping into your core. they curled upwards against your gummy walls just until they increased in pace while his thumb pivoted at your sensitive nub, and fuck! where’d he learn how to do that?

he pulled away only slightly to read your expression, the tent in his pants growing taller, tip leaking carelessly at the onsight of your face, screwed taut in pleasure — plump, glossy lips that were slick with spit and moans slipping past without prevail.

underneath him, your legs felt feeble, as if they’d fall beneath you from the surgence of pleasure. “m-megumi, wait, ‘m gonna!-“ you held onto his shoulders for leverage, your warnings of orgasm falling on deaf, distracted ears, until finally, you were a gushing mess in his palm, coating his digits in your essence.

“fuck. you’re so pretty when you cum,” in that moment, he gave you no chance to react when he gently positioned you over his dresser, pulling down your little shorts until they pooled around your knees.

“y’made me so hard, y/n. can you feel it?” he grinded himself over the plush of your ass, teasing before pulling his sweats down just enough so that his hard, throbbing and leaking, length could be free. it bobbed ever so under its weight while one hand began to pump from base to shaft to soothe the excruciating ache. once he felt satisfied in his ministrations, he lined his cock along your awaiting slit.

“a condom, megs.” your reminder came in the form of a soft lull. after all, you two were just free-spirited college students, unable to pay the consequences of spontaneous actions. “don’t have any.” with that, he sunk his cock inside to the hilt, a low groan rippling from his throat at just how tight your pussy clamped around him. it felt like fucking heaven. he could die in your cunt and be at peace.

while you adjusted to the stretch, he began to move; slow, deep strokes as if he were savoring this moment forever. who knows when he’ll be able to have the luxury to sink inside your perfect angelcunt again? you bit your lip to stave off impending moans which ultimately failed when his arms snaked around your body — one hand underneath the cloth of your shirt and pinching at your perked nipples while the other finds its place right back at your clit.

“sh-shit!” you cry out, eyes rolling and mind hazy from the pleasure. his rhythm increased gradually until he built up a vigorous pace. “i’ve been needing y-you so bad.” megumi groans along the shell of your ear. how he got so lucky as to have his dream girl engulfed around his cock, he doesn’t know. all he’s aware of was the tightening of his abdomen, signaling his own impending orgasm.

white hot pleasure replace all feeling in your body, counting down its time until the familiar numbness washed over you in euphoria. a pitchy moan sounded from your lips and an even whorish whimper when the warmth from spurts of his cum coated your insides.

after what felt like a minute of the two of you recollecting your breaths, megumi finally pulled out, shuddering at the added stimulation at his oversensitive cock.

he leaned your head back to meet his lust-filled gaze; calmness of his deep navy orbs now deepened with sin. megumi pressed gentle kisses all over your face while his hands took purchase at your now, exposed, neck and squeezed tight enough to keep you lightheaded.

“you’re the best birthday present.”

[horreurscopes]

i wish having to remind someone something three or five or fifteen times or however many it takes until they remember it on their own was more destigmatized within the framework of disability accomodations

like i understand the emotional significance given to the act of remembering, i have myself have had the kneejerk reaction that maybe i'm not as important to someone as they say i am if they forget something i asked of them or told them. i get it. but that's like. a societal expectation that isnt necessarily true, you know.much like eye contact to mean you are listening or a smile to mean you are friendly. like, yeah, of course an asshole who isn't listening to you might not make eye contact, but that doesn't mean that every single time someone isn't making eye contact it means they are an asshole.

to me disposition is much more important than memory, especially in the realm of boundaries and cohabitation, like: let's say you don't like it when your partner puts their shoes on the bed. extremely reasonable thing to ask them not to do, and something that, if not done, would very quickly become a point of contention because them continuing to do the thing you asked them not to is interpreted as a dismissal of your feelings and a violation of a reasonable boundary. and i know a lot of people themselves already struggle putting up boundaries and enforcing them and are extremely reactive to anything that can be interpreted as a boundary being crossed, and this can be super hard to deal with. but like. disabilities ARE hard to deal with, you know, they are frustrating and they might slow you down or inconvenience you, and that's just part of the deal! is it really an accomodation if the line is drawn at whatever arbitrary point someone decides they're done accommodating? do you walk alongside a person on crutches for three blocks and then are like, ok, i've accommodated you enough, time to go at my pace now?

and yes, yes, i know "i forgot" or "i didn't know" can be used to truly harm someone else in a number of infinitely nuanced scenarios. context clues, people. to me that's where disposition comes in and separates "literally struggles to remember" from "disrespecting and pushing boundary", and i think that separation, albeit fuzzy for people who strongly correlate memory and respect, can be learned?

if my partner was like, "hey, don't put your shoes on the bed!" then a respectful disposition towards their boundaries would immediately make me go, "oh no! sorry i forgot! here, i will stop doing it immediatly, and if necessary amend the damage of me forgetting (in this analogy, washing the sheets)". and if this has to happen thirteen times before i remember on my own, i would feel truly bad about it because i'm letting my loved one down even though it's something i legitimately can't control. i don't know! it's the "if you cared, you would remember" unstoppable force vs "if you cared, you'd cut me some slack for not remembering" immovable object, it's hard. like thats what i mean by context clues, what is more likely: that a person who in every other way has shown up for you has suddenly become toxic/selfish/abusive specifically about shoes on the bed, or that they struggle to remember?

i don't know man. the way i see it, ultimately it's a lot more feasible to adjust your expectations of what someone loving you and caring about you will look like and how it shows up in their behavior, than it is to literally force yourself to remember something. and my memory issues are not even that bad! after the fifth or sixth reminder something will generally stick around (unless it's a situation that does not happen often, in which case the large stretches of time in between might hinder my progress), and like someone might just decide the rest of the Me is not worth the trouble, and that's their prerogative, but i do think it says more about them than it does about me.

everyone's always up for disability rights until it becomes inconvenient or clashes with their idea of what "good behavior" should look like. like i can't help but think that if this is something that *i* struggle with socially, i can't imagine what people who have a legitimately debilitating memory disability, who may need to be reminded forever, feel like every day of their damn lives

[raven-at-the-writing-desk]

I really loved the Idia's club card, I think it's one of my favorite cards of his, I love the various references to Hercules, the movie, the hairpins, the hoodie, the game pieces, which are very similar to the ones Hades wears in the movie! And I think it's the first time Idia actually looks like he's wearing a school uniform, a school uniform in such a formal way, the sweater and the tie!

I really like this look on Idia too!! The smug expression + hood up suits him well. The tie and sweater vest is also surprisingly so nice on him… 😭

Come to think of it?? This may be the ONLY “Idia in formal wear” outfit that I actually like with my whole chest so far. I don’t find his Nightmare Suit, the birthday lines (Birthday Boy, Union Jacket, Platinum Jacket), or even Suitor Suit super appealing. I think it’s because this one strikes that perfect balance between looking fancy/semi-formal while also highlighting Idia’s true gremlin behavior. The other suits seemed “off” to me because those feel as though Idia is trying to be “cool” or to pass as someone he’s not. EMBRACE YOUR CRINGE AND BE FREE, MY GUY.

I was going to compile a list of references I noticed, but Twitter user @/miu_mt124 already beat me to the punch so I'll link their original post + share their work here:

It's amazing how many references Twst was able to squeeze into a single clubwear card... though I guess it really helps that Hades was shown literally manipulating multiple monster playing pieces in the film. ahudybaysodasda I LSUGHED whEN I NOTICED tHE hAir CLiP SHAPEd LIKE THE lOLLUPIP HaDES OFFerED TO BABY HERc 💀

I also saw some jokes that Idia with his hood up looks a lot like Gregory Violet from Black Butler’s Public School arc. They both have that gloomy emo boi Yana DNA in them 😂

[witchyafterdark]

— Ominis Gaunt Headcanons; pt. 3

• The Pros and Cons of being with him •

This post has been sitting in my drafts for a very long time now, and was supposed to be the second installment of my previous post about Sebastian! Nevertheless, here it is. I've thought about this one a little bit harder than the other since it's my boy Ominis. All photos used are not mine, and all credits to their respective owners.

・❥・ PROS

He is the most empathetic, compassionate, thoughtful, and caring man you'll ever be with.

Most people need to be taught how to have compassion towards others, or that an example needed to be shown in order for them to learn. But with Ominis, this is something inborn. Empathy is nestled deep inside his bones, and it will be very difficult for anyone to make him act out of alignment from his true caring nature.

He is tremendously protective of you, and by extension, those you consider very close to you.

One of the many ways he demonstrates his devotion to you is by means of providing you with protection. Understandably, he knows that you aren't some damsel who needs help all the time. That's why he discreetly protects you when you need it the most; which are during the times you do not see the danger you're about to encounter, or are already in the midst of.

Quite ironic, he sees certain social situations leagues ahead of you, given his aristocratic upbringing, and can definitely read between the lines of people's intentions toward you. He will immediately step in — with practiced grace mixed with lethality — and eradicate any threat that looms over you before you even begin to notice anything amiss.

By extension, he is also very attuned to your emotional states, physical needs, and mental processes.

You wouldn't have to worry about being with someone who doesn't know how to understand you in ways you want to be understood because that couldn't be further from the truth with Ominis. One of the factors that make him a good partner is that he would actually get to know you before being with you. He took the time to learn your patterns and behaviors, and he genuinely studied you thoroughly in hopes of doing right by you.

Therefore, being in a relationship with him means he truly knows he can be a good match for you, as he doesn't want to waste both of your time. He understands when you're stressed, and would do anything in his power to alleviate your pains. And he knows when to step back and give you your personal space to figure things out by yourself.

Surprisingly, he has a mischievous and adventurous spirit in his heart, and he knows how to keep the fun alive between you two.

Being born blind, he has been told endlessly by his punitive family that he would most likely amount to nothing in his life without their illustrious influence and infamous reputation. But ever the rebel, Ominis wanted to prove to himself that their words hold no significance in his ability to live life to the fullest. To your pleasant surprise, he is much more lively and playful once you truly get to know him and he lets go of all his defenses! He isn't Anne and Sebastian's oldest friend for nothing; he knows a plethora of ways to rebel, bask in the moments of fun and adventure, and get into the occasional mischief to feed the need for a little adrenaline rush. Most people would probably consider him a boring and rigid person to be with, but he's just waiting for the right one to share the joy and happiness with.

Ominis is one of the bravest and most loyal people you'll ever get the chance to be with, whether for friendship or romantic relationship. You'll get to enjoy certain... perks of being with him. And he's more than willing to ensure your comfort and satisfaction as his partner.

Simply put, he has no qualms in waving his family name around to protect and preserve the peace around him — and that includes making sure you're safe, unbothered, and given the same special privileges as he has. Rest assured that once he made up his mind that he wants to be with you, you wouldn't have to worry if he's thinking of anybody else besides you. Everyone will know that he is yours, but most importantly, everyone will know you're his. and he's not embarrassed to say he is with you. In fact, he revels in it; albeit, more privately. While he does want people to know that he is off the market, he loathes the notion of people getting to know what goes on with your relationship with him. He's still a private person at the end of the day.

Behind closed doors, he is the most affectionate, touchy, and loving man you'll ever know.

Ominis is the kind of person that is sensitive to the energies of other people. He is sensitive like that, and for good reason. He can "read" the room perfectly without the need for sight. And so, he would definitely know simply by the sound of your heavy footsteps that you've had a tiring, rough day. Wordlessly, he would have the initiative to cook dinner for you, prepare you a hot bath, not forgetting to lay your night clothes on your bed, and caressing your hair to send you to sleep as you lay secure in his warm embrace at night. He also knows when you just need time alone to be by yourself, and tend to your own needs without him in the picture.

Nevertheless, you wouldn't even think of him as someone that needs to be "coached" into being a good partner — he has that naturally built into his personality.

╭━━━━━∙⋆⋅⋆∙━━━━━╮

・❥・ CONS

Due to his unstable upbringing, he is actually the most possessive person you've ever met... worse that Sebastian.

It is known that Ominis is a very closed-off person. He is very difficult to win over, let alone befriend and to romance. When he was a child, every family connection his father had made was exploited to the bone. Those people would unwittingly feel honored to be acquainted to the Gaunts that they would most likely do anything to win their favor. Ominis' father once taught him that the people around him was supposed to obey him out of respect for their ancient, noble lineage.

Therefore, once Ominis lets you into his life, he unconsciously views you as his possession; someone that must remain in his life, unless he deems otherwise.

During arguments, he would not back down, and would sound punitive at times.

Having to fight for his life — quite literally — at the hands of his cruel family, Ominis has learned that using his words can equally be as destructive as combative magic. His usual sarcastic quips are one of his normal defense mechanisms. But if you're engaged in an argument with him, especially when he knows he is right, best believe he will not hold back. You will get your feelings and pride and dignity hurt. He will lay out the truth no holds barred. He will make you understand why he knows best, and that you should just listen.

After what happened during fifth year with Sebastian, he's had absolutely enough with giving people the benefit of the doubt. Once he made up his mind about a certain topic, good luck trying to change his mind now.

If you are rumored to have been getting closer to another man, best believe he will be taken care of as soon as possible. You won't see that man ever again. (He isn't a Gaunt for nothing).

As far as he's concerned, the only type of friends you need in your life are those he knows of; Poppy Sweeting, Natsai Onai, and perhaps even Imelda Reyes. Sebastian can be part of your circle but even that he is wary of. But if he so hears about other men trying to be close to you (even as your relationship with him is already public knowledge), or you're in the process of entertaining the possibility of being with other men, he will get them out of the picture by the end of the week.

He is not afraid of twisting the truth, fabricating lies and offenses that those men seemingly committed, and falsifying being a witness to a breach of magical protocol just to send them on their merry way. You'll be confused as to how and why these men just keep on getting questioned by magical authorities but you'll be none the wiser about his involvement.

Speaking of, no matter how hard he tries to undo all the conditioning he was put through as a child, his Gaunt tendencies tend to rear its ugly head when he feels out of control, or threatened in any way.

This one is something he does not want you to know. It's one of his deepest, darkest secrets that he tries to bury underneath his caring and compassionate efforts of becoming a better man. Some days, it truly gets the best of him, especially when he perceives that he is not being taken seriously, or that things around him are getting out of control. Being someone without sight (that is also a Gaunt), having absolute control of his surroundings is something he needs to feel safe and secure. Without it, it's as if he is wandless — holding his hands up in front of him like when he was a helpless child.

And so, if he perceives petulance on your part, in spite of him exercising patience, he will resort to intimidation and manipulation. He doesn't need to exert physical force to make you understand exactly what he is capable of if you keep up with your actions.

(There's a reason why Dominis is a thing to begin with. People know he is capable of it!)

Once you're with him, there's no backing out. He won't allow it. You are his.

When you agreed to accept his courtship, he understood it as a mutual agreement that this is not something casual in nature. You are not with him to waste his time, as he wouldn't want to waste yours. The decision to court you was not made on a whim. He realizes the potential of a great and fruitful romantic partnership with you. Therefore, in his mind, you need to validate his assumptions about you. You need to prove that he was right about you.

Of course, he will subtly guide you through the stages of your relationship in order to fit his narrative as he intended. He will mold you to be the person of his dreams, and will give you whatever you want that is within his power. You'd do well to be grateful and acknowledge that through your cooperation.

And if you ever break his heart by being with someone else behind his back, he will make sure you will pay for it... one way or another.

╭━━━━━∙⋆⋅⋆∙━━━━━╮

So, do the pros outweigh the cons for you?

[clingyduoapologist]

At the end of the day, Dream has no position. He has no angle to argue from, because getting away from the realm of allegation or speculation, the things he’s admitted to, the people he chooses to surround himself with, the things we’ve seen him do are already enough to disqualify him from being taken seriously in any capacity. Any opinion you form about Dream has to take into account the people that he himself has admitted to hurting. It’s not a situation or drama or discourse it’s a trail of destruction.

We’re not waiting for another shoe to drop or for a straw to break some camel’s back, because the camel’s been fucking run over. We can sit here and speculate about the degree to which he’s an asshole, over which allegations are really credible, who we can believe, but that doesn’t change the fact that Dream has already proven himself, at the very very insanely oversimplified least, to be irresponsible with his platform, with his fanbase, and with the other people his platform has allowed him to meet.

He loves to pretend that, because he’s admitted to things he’s done in the past, now he’s completely exonerated. That because certain specific claims haven’t been true, that all the criticism against him is petty and stupid and should be ignored. But specifics don’t fucking matter when he’s shown patterns of harmful behavior that haven’t seemed to change for years.

He’s had his chances to show us that he could do better. Too many, in my opinion. By now, my mind is thoroughly made up. What’s important now is to show your support for his victims, the victims of his friends, and to not accept similar behavior from to creators you love.

Dreamwastaken is someone I do not know, that I feel like I’ve gotten to know all too well recently. I will not pretend to know the extent of what he’s done, to get parasocial and try to divine some ultimate truth to his character. All I have to go on is what he’s shown us and what others have told us. And I feel like that’s more than enough to form an opinion of him as a creator, and as a person.

[miraculouslbcnreactions]

I think it's interesting that the shows problem of "marinette can and will do everything herself unless we decide to f her over" is clear pretty early, but esp in Reflekdoll back in s3... hell it worsened the problem of "cn is kind of a useless teammate" by making him start the ep interfering w lb and spending the rest of it actively struggling.

From what I understand when most shows do some form of "role swap" where the characters were previously dissing each other's roles, both characters in the swap are shown to struggle.

Reflekdoll, on rewatch, doesn't do that. Except I can't really think of a clear way to make Marinette struggle with the role of CN unless it's in her struggling to step back and let others do the work, which she can't do in the context of that episode since she spends all of it making sure Adrien doesn't F Up.

So if we redid reflekdoll to be a swap with a struggle on both sides, how could it be done?

Trope Overview

The power-swap trope is all about learning to appreciate someone else's point of view. That can include the struggles they face, but that's not a requirement. One of the best power swap episodes out there is the Teen Titans episode Switched in which the characters Starfire and Raven switch bodies. This is a problem because Starfire's powers are all about feeling and embracing emotions while Raven's powers are all about controlling and repressing emotions as you can see from this clip that takes place right after the switch:

There is no failed fight to kick this episode off. The girls already fought well together. They don't need to understand each other's powers to be functional teammates. Understanding each other's powers just lets them be better friends and lets the audience get a deeper understanding of the two characters which is exactly what this trope is supposed to do.

Miraculous

Unlike Teen Titans, Miraculous failed the role-switch trope assignment. Adrien kind of learns a lesson in Reflekdoll, but it doesn't change his behavior in other episodes so it's hard to say that this moment of awareness did anything useful for his character. There's also the problem that Marinette learns nothing as we can see here:

Mister Bug: (looks around, trying to figure out how to use his Lucky Charm) Okay, I admit it. It's not easy being a super Ladybug. Lady Noire: (keeping Reflekdoll occupied) And I admit that I like wearing your costume. It's a lot lighter on the shoulders. (They hide behind a chimney)

And here:

Mister Bug: Honestly, I understand why you never have any time to make jokes, m'lady. Lady Noire: We both have our roles, huh Bugaboy? (They jump into separate alleyways.)

This highlights the exact issue anon brought up in their ask: if Adrien continues to joke around and be dismissive of how rough Ladybug has it, then what was the point of all this? if Marinette has nothing to learn, then does Chat Noir even matter? And is there a way to fix this episode to remove those issues?

To be frank, a true fix requires massive rewrites to the entire show because this episode is highlighting an actual issue with the writing. Chat Noir has not been given a clear or important role and he often doesn't take fights seriously enough as we once again see just five episodes later in Oblivio when Chat Noir's flirting and laidback attitude get them hit by the day's akuma:

Nadja:(from a helicopter) Looks like Ladybug and Cat Noir are struggling today. (Ladybug is rapidly spinning her yo-yo to deflect Oblivio's blasts while Cat Noir sits down casually.) Ladybug: And stop calling us a couple!

This means that there's not great option for what Ladybug needs to learn from Chat Noir. The best small change I can come up with is to have her struggle to fight Reflekdoll solo, helping her apricate her partner's fighting and distraction skills. That's no where near the level of lesson Adrien is learning since Ladybug already apricates those skills, but at least it's something.

You could also go the route of having her learn to have more fun, but that's not a great lesson for a superhero charged with defending the city. The fun lesson that would have actual depth is a body switch one where Marinette learns Chat Noir's identity and sees Adrien's life first hand, helping her understand why Chat Noir is so big on having fun. It wouldn't make his actions okay, but it could lead Marinette to better understand his needs so they take time to have fun out of battle. He becomes more serious in fights and she becomes more fun out of them. But then we have identity reveals and canon won't allow that so, while this is the best fix for canon as-is, it's not really one that canon could actually do.

While were on the topic, I'll note that there actually is a fix-it fic for Reflekdoll over on AO3 that you might enjoy. It stays pretty true to the episode, but does a better job of actually letting Adrien learn his lesson while also letting Marinette acknowledge her faults in the episode because she wasn't exactly perfect here. I don't think it solves the issues we were talking about above, but I do think this is probably the best canon could have done without major rewrites and/or an identity reveal.

In an ideal world where the show is fully rebooted and our leads both feel like vital parts of the team, this episode probably would have been something similar to the Teen Titans episode I discussed above. Ladybug and Chat Noir already canonically respect each other's skills, so it's hard to see the need for a lesson around that topic. It would be far more interesting to have an episode on Creation vs Destruction where we learn why Adrien is the best black cat and why Marinette is the best ladybug. An episode where Adrien can't figure out the lucky charm and where Marinette can't control cataclysms because it requires skills that she doesn't have like strong self control and focus. (No, Adrien doesn't really have those in canon, but they are the traits that should define a Destruction wielder. I will die on that hill.)

This new version of the episode wouldn't be about resolving a conflict so much as it would be about helping these two - and the audience - appreciate how they're the only ones who can do what they do.

[kiame-sama]

Do you think we can get a pt 2 to the yandere Lilia fic? I am honestly so starved for Lilia content and that one made me laugh really hard :)))

What Are You, Twelve? (Yan!Lilia x Reader) Pt 2.

(Part of what makes this funnier for me is the fact that Lilia is taller than me, but because he ACTS so mischievous and young it is easy to still assume he is a child despite his height)

Warnings; reader is 18+ but believes Lilia to be 12, the power of disbelief is unending, yandere behavior, Lilia refuses to quit, yandere temper, lilia is a patient yandere but his patience wears thin,

*Magi-shop; what I think Photoshop would be called in Twisted Wonderland

~~~~~~~~

You'll have to believe him now. Surely you couldn't continue to believe he was a child with all the evidence presented to you. He would get over the laughter from the others soon enough so long as he could get the one he craved in his grasp. There were many things the old Fae planned to do with the object of his affections and obsessions once he got his hands on you, but for now he needed you to understand him completely.

He knew you may try to reject him more harshly when you finally understand his true age, but he planned to deal with that when it came. Still, Lilia would have you one way or another and soon enough that frustratingly persistent laughter would end. Every time he tried to proposition you for a quick tryst with him, you rejected him with another quip about his assumed age and another bout of snickering would erupt from around him. That laughter wasn't going to keep up when he finally had you wrapped around his arm.

Lilia could deal with many things, from other students teasing him and his endless struggle for affection, even to the little names other students gave him. He would be lying if he said he didn't react violently to the teasing of Floyd recently, the miniscule name the eel appointed to Lilia pushing his temper just a bit too far. Still, just one face punched versus the slaughter Lilia could enact was quite good all things considered.

Silver had obeyed Lilia's request and showed you an entire photo album of his infancy despite his absolute embarrassment with the situation. He was dubious about helping his father hook-up with one of his classmates, but he did want his father to be happy in life and you certainly made Lilia happy. You hadn't shown any facial reaction to the photos so Lilia had hope you believed Silver, but his hopes were dashed as you let out an unimpressed sigh.

"Magi-shop* exists in Twisted Wonderland, you could have just edited the photos and printed them out. I refuse to be tricked by all this."

You couldn't possibly be serious- okay, he was going to have to try another avenue.

Lilia had tried many things to convince you. From pontificating and showing off his vast historical knowledge in Trein's class- which he conveniently shared with you- to flaunting his prowess in potions. He technically was in other classes, but he decided to just join you for your classes and the teachers exasperatedly allowed it. That in no way meant any of the staff would help Lilia in his endless cause to convince you. He already tried those avenues and got scolded promptly by the teachers about being his age and pursuing a bright young student. Sure, you were an adult by human standards, but so was Leona, and Vil, and Cater, and Malleus. Wasn't he a student too, technically?

If anything, your assumption of his age was the only hang-up he could see getting in the way of establishing a relationship with you. He was hoping that as soon as he got you to understand, you would be willing to move forward in a relationship with him. Lilia was willing to put you under the effects of a love potion or one of his own spells if you insisted on arguing with him even after he got you to understand. The more you tried to distance yourself from the elder Fae, the more he craved your attention and presence.

It was currently a matter of pride for him to make you understand his age before he finally got to have you. He could just slip you a love potion and be done with it, but he needed you to understand just what kind of creature you have gained the attention of. As innocent to the cruelty of the world as you were, Lilia needed you to know the full gravity of having an elder Fae interested in you. Children of man didn't often gain the affections of a fae such as himself, so he wanted you to realize how special you were to get his attention the way that you did.

"Father, they didn't believe me."

"Of course they didn't. My sweet (y/n), such a stubborn child of man. I'll have those thighs smothering me soon enough."

"... I don't wish to hear these things, Father."

[fitnessadvicethatfitsinyourlife]

Something I've seen a lot in faux-health fitness spaces is a diagram comparing 500 calories from different sources. But the way it compares them boils my blood into a fine mist.

They compare the amount of space these various sources would allegedly take up in your stomach. Showing that 500 calories of oil would take up very little space, while 500 calories of fruits and veggies would fill your whole stomach.

And, if we were comparing the space these items take up on your kitchen counter, that might mean something, but that's not how digestion or fullness works at all.

First of all of the food in your stomach has already been chewed and partially digested by the enzymes in your salvia, turning the food mass into what we call a "bolus."

It's still true that you would end up with a higher quantity of partially digested food bits from 500 calories of broccoli than you would if you just took a 500 calorie shot of oil (which I do not recommend for numerous reasons completely unrelated to diet or weight, but I'm going to assume you already weren't doing that.)

However the quantity of stuff sloshing about in your acid sack (stomach) does not actually relate to the feelings of fullness like those diagrams are desperately trying to imply.

What controls how satiated you feel after eating is your hormones. Specifically Leptin, Amylin, and GLP-1. And there is some value in knowing that certain foods, like lean protein or fibrous veggies, have been shown to increase levels of these hormones and can lead to more feelings of satisfaction after eating.

Conversely certain foods, like highly processed snack foods, can increase the hunger hormone, Ghrelin, making you feel more hungry after eating, not less.

But that's more of an issue about corporate greed destroying the quality of our food than it is about calorically dense foods as a concept.

As mentioned in the study I linked above, eating fats and sugars also helps decrease Ghrelin production. Eating a diet that's rich in fruits and veggies can make you feel fuller. But it doesn't mean that fatty, sugary foods can't too.

It also leaves out the fact that depriving yourself of calorically dense foods can also lead to disordered eating behaviors. And it ignores the reality that minimally processed whole foods have become a luxury item that most people simply cannot afford.

The takeaway here is: The pendulum between hunger and fullness is complicated. Eating a whole bowl of broccoli might make you feel bloated but it won't necessarily alleviate the sensation of hunger. Humans are complicated.

Our nutritional needs cannot be simplified into a diagram urging you to eat unsatisfying foods.

[butterfly--empress]

And Another Thing...

Because actually, the more I think about it, the more it just pisses me off...

If The main writer wanted this to just be a simple formulaic "magical girl powa" kids show that sells merch. With no overarching story plot.

MLB could've just simply BEEN that. A cutesy Sailor Moon inspired story!

MLB could've just BEEN an all female superhero team with Marinette as leader, Alya second in command, and Chloe and/or Kagami being her love rivals/friends for Adrien's affections.

And Adrien could literally just BE THE DAMN LUKEWARM LOVE INTEREST that she wins in the end. Because the Deuteragonist of this show, sure as shit ain't been him since at least S4, let's be so for real.

Nothing against Alya, I love her, but girlfriend has overshadowed what used to be Adrien's role.

But in this version of MLB, being an all girl team of superheroes with a secret identity. Marinette's absurd 'whacky' antics in this show could easily be ignored/deflected/handwaved away, if we never knew much about Adrien outside of him being a popular, good looking rich kid, whom Marinette crushes on and daydreams about often.

And TA doesn't have to twist himself into a pretzel to defend his poor writing choices, when the only POV that matters is Marinette's.

There would be no need for the lore, or vaguely changing it when he feels like it. Or worrying about the unnecessary drama of the whole 'they can't know each others identities' main plot that has all become meaningless.

The original main plot of the whole secret identities for romantic drama and the reason many of us were drawn to this show to BEGIN WITH, is moot when the writer constantly refuses to do ANYTHING with the setup he writes for himself.

He won't let none of his characters have any real development and growth and only seems to care about ONE-HALF of the original two man team.

And I'm over it. 4 episodes and a lame ass Special that literally excuses the main heroine's reasons for LYING to her One True Love has shown me this show is NOT interested in doing anything beyond what it's given.

All of us invested or holding your breath for any real progress with the romantic/main subplot are going to be waiting for naught.

I was already convinced but now I'm certain:

There will never be a big reveal. And if there is one, it'll be purposely left to the VERY end of the series. And it won't even be satisfying.

Nothing will EVER be done with the Lie. Why should it? Marinette finally has the boy she wants, and even if it ever got addressed, the writer would handle it in the most contrived way possible that somehow excuses Marinette's decision anyway.

How much you wanna bet, he'll just end up retconning his own story to SOMEHOW scapegoat Marinette's bullshit to be Lila's fault?

Or Chloe's? Because even when she's not around, not in the same school, city, or even country, the writer STILL finds a way to hate on Chloe.

No...wait even better! Adrien finally finds out and to avoid allowing Marinette to own up to her fucking mistake/betrayal of trust, she decides to 'sacrifice' her memories and being Ladybug...and oh my fucking god.

......This is why TA had Marinette entrust Alya as the new leader isn't it? He thinks he's so goddamn clever!

Marinette's gonna fuck up big time in this season and then get temporary or semi-permanent amnesia to forget EVERYTHING to avoid owning up to her mistakes?

And instead of people seeing the manipulative writing to handwave away how she's been very selfish and self-centered, and her need to control everything. People are going to praise TA for believing or redeeming her bad decisions/behavior on how much she was finally willing to 'sacrifice' herself for a change for Adrien.

*groans*....god this sounds even worse.

You know what, this post had a point and I spiraled again.

Oh yeah...MLB should've just been another inspired typical 5 teamed magical girl knock off because hoping the writer does anything worthwhile with his Deuteragonist, is just waiting for Levithan to reveal itself from the deep, dank, ocean depths, and in this timeline the world's in rn, that's actually more plausible than hoping for meaningful character arcs after 6 seasons of MLB...

[crystalsenergy]

Astro counselling- Rising Signs (all)

Ascendant in…

ARIES Self-sufficiency is not the same as self-sabotage. Beware of behaviors that harm your physical and mental health because you are someone with an extreme focus on doing things alone and end up carrying the world on your shoulders.

TAURUS Your material possessions don't define who you are. Having more, having less, doesn't make you better (or worse) than anyone else. Beware of material attachment as a way of seeing yourself. Do you believe or have you ever believed that you are how much you have?

GEMINI Your tendency to be very adaptable to environments and exchanges can make people unable to define exactly who you are. Be adaptable and flexible, but not superficial in your conveyed image.

CANCER Beware of a tendency to want to be everyone's mother figure and feel too responsible for the lives of those around you. Beware of emotional manipulation because of your kind and compassionate nature - which is beautiful but needs to be shown in doses to some people.

LEO If you have pride and defensiveness as your tendencies, see that you are greater than your ego forces. Find ways to improve this. Realize how much pride can be preventing you from expressing your true feelings to others.

VIRGO Pay attention to your overcompensation behaviors. What is this, Paty? This happens when you want to make up for something you think you failed, and you do this very intensely. You don't have to act this way in order to (re-)establish the sense of inner usefulness. You are already useful. Your successful or unsuccessful tasks don't erase this.

LIBRA See the value YOU have. Your worth is not conditioned by how much others appreciate you. You are self-sufficient. You don't need to be dependent on other people's approval because you are enough. You are enough.

SCORPIO Your depth and intensity tend not to appear so much to others, after all, you are, by nature, a deep and mysterious sign. If you just internalize everything and not externalize, it can do you more harm than good. Your inner intensity can make you IMPLODE, which will be bad for you. Beware of self-destruction, even if “imperceptible”.

SAGITTARIUS Your essence is deep, optimistic and grandiose. However, beware of attachment to optimism and hedonistic philosophies of life (which seek more happiness and pleasure than anything else). Life is full of ups and downs, and the lows are just as uplifting and educational as the highs. You can live blinding yourself in the optimistic vibe, forgetting to see where you need to grow, evolve.

CAPRICORN Contrary to what they say (“Capricorn is indifferent, Capricorn is cold”), you know that this is not the case. Deep down, you care a lot about others, however, the mistake is exactly in the focus you give - your focus is very much on the opinion of others, on the image of being successful, on the importance of pleasing society, even if society is not just a person, but the whole - and that's why this search can imprison you so much. This is a lesson for the sign of Capricorn, eliminating the search for appearance and being in standards, however, on the Ascendant this search is focused on the vision of oneself. So, take care of how much your self-esteem is linked to your level of social approval.

AQUARIUS You are very mental, you are constantly stimulated by your thoughts, your behavior is largely based on your mental activity. Just be careful with excessive thoughts moving in your mind, it can generate a lot of anxiety. Therefore, pay attention to the amount of subjects you come into contact with in a short period of time. You have a more reflective nature, so you can be overstimulated in your mind and lose mental energy.

PISCES The greatest care of the Ascendant in Pisces is exactly the one that involves the outside world, what is outside of him/her. Because Pisces is a sign that is not natural aware of what enters its mind, since it captures energies from the outside quite automatically, it is important to pay attention, more than anyone else, to whom you talk, with whom you exchange energy, the environments you frequent...

[signfromeywa]

Statement and realtalk:

I have to adress something open to you, something that is going on on bluesky atm.

It is one of the reasons why my chronic illnes is flairing bad up and noramlly I would not adress this on my blog, this blog is not about drama but I feel forced to do it:

(also I don't want you to harass anyone I mentioned in this post, I just want to view my side before they try to ruin my reputation even more. I want you guys just to know my side.)

I got accused of stealing the design form Ava from other artists, coz she has a white suit on and red curls. I proofed afterwards with a statement that she exsisted LONG before I joined the Avatar fandorm. But they don't stop talking openly about my name in bad manners, dragging my name to the mud. So here is my open statement I posted on bluesky already:

Just want to say: I see you, and I see your bullying behavior towards me. How you speak about me being evil while you call me a copycat and an entitled European. You step on me even though I just PROVED that my OC is not stolen. You never stop, even a person is already on the ground. You are evil. I'm not going to stop drawing a character in a white Lab coat just because these people don't like it. I can only advise you: if you see people publicly trashing other people, keep your distance from them. Don't support bullying. I didn't do anything wrong by having my character wear a white suit in a sci-fi franchise. It's a common trope in sci-fi, just like Ghost in the Cell and Alita: Battle Angel—just examples. Pinterest is full of such examples. So why shouldn't I have a character with a white suit? It's obvious in a sci-fi movie. Why can't my character have red curls to look like me? Is that forbidden now, too? Am I no longer allowed to have red curls?

Ava is a cloned human with a cybernetic spine. She doesn't even have a kuru. She's a test subject and won't have much to do with the suit once she's out of the lab. One of the core aspects of Avatar is the aspect of artificial bodies, so its also not really something only one group of people can claim, as their "IP". I hate to openly discuss this and address it. But I won't let the perpetrators continue to bully me. They'll just continue to show their true color by continuing to publicly drag my name through the mud. I suggest we just leave each other alone from now on. I'm working on my sick note, and she's working on hers. You two should just start behaving like adults again, not like 10-year-old elementary school bullies. My proof that I designed Ava before I joinded the fandom: bsky.app/profile/ritr... Her character sheet with more infors to her origin story outside of the Fandom: bsky.app/profile/ritr... I don't know what else to say, except that I want you to stop, because I'm not going to stop drawing Ava. Just leave me alone to enjoy myself. I've been warned by so many people independently of these people, and I always form my own opinion. But they've clearly shown me that it's true: they systematically exclude people, publicly drag their names through the mud, and bully them. This has to stop. I don't want anything more. And because my name was also publicly dropped, I'm now also publicly speaking out names: It's about the bullies: Celbizarro, kingsevil, hypodriive, mapiezaddy, sabasquatch I could drop more names, but I'll leave it at this point. These people are together on an Avatar AU Discord and are united against one person. It's an echo chamber of bullies, and I want people to understand that. I'm not going anywhere. I'm peaceful and just drawing a red-haired woman in a white suit. Inspired by many sci-fi universes out there. People need to understand that similar concepts that aren't even that original, like a simple white suit in a sci-fi universe, red curls, or a clone in an Avatar universe, don't necessarily mean that anything was stolen. No attempt was ever made to clarify this with me privately or to ask about it. Why do people embrace my idea of ​​painting cloned creatures and humans? Quite simply, because it seems to have been forbidden by a certain group, and you can't forbid something so simple. It's meant to prove a point. side note: I didn't encourage anyone to be inspired by my AU. These are just people who support my idea, and I'm not saying it's unique, but I'm not going around accusing everyone of stealing it either.

here again my screenshots, that I had ava since 2018 and designed her suit 2023:

(If you wonder about my screenshot. I have a German PC I had to translate it with Google lens so everyone can understand. So I added the original and the translated version. Also the created status is newer than the last edited, coz I moved all my files to a new storage. But edited means, when I worked on it the last time in my art program. Last acces is when you view a picture in big.)

I have more old pictures and artworks from her to prove my point. I never ment to steal anything and I never did. It looks similar coz Avas look is a common look in the sci-fi franchies.

Here is also pictures, that shows that I drew white suited characters quite a while already:

Its just a trope I really enjoyed already since ages.

And here my OWN design for an adapter for her cybenetic Spine:

Also more proof how old Ava my OC is already

Even with her new suit already:

The oldest pictures I have from her:

I joyined the Avatar fandom 10 month ago on tumblr and bluesky btw (my bluesky acc is older than that, but I was not active or part if the fandom.)

The thing is, I just want my peace and I want you guys see this before you hear their bully words from somewhere. I want you to know my side. I never wanted to do harm or have a fight. I am a chronic ill person and this blog is my safe space.

I just want to be in peace!

I blocked all these people above and just want them to let me alone. They don't need to like me, but they should stop dragging names from others through dirt. Thats the worst behavior and they call ME evil and I am just trying to defend myself and try to have fun. Nothing more than that.

I hope you are not mad about me, that I shared this openly on my blog this time and I hope its the last time I have to do that. What else can I do more than just proof that my OC Ava is an old OC of mine that I've now turned into an avatar AU to have a little fun with it. Without any ulterior motives, without stealing anything, because I didn't need it, I already had the design finished, yeas ago.

I hope this is enough for me to get some peace and that I finnaly can enjoy the fandom now and they let me do my own thing. I just want to have fun with you guys drawing about my characters and enjoying the fandom. Nothing more.

Thanks to everyone who read this long post till here. I know its silly that I was even presured to adress this childish behavior of these people. Stay save and happy.

Signfromeywa/ -> RiTroxart.

[silentmes]

Today I’m here to talk about something ridiculous, disgusting, and dishonest happening in the Brazilian ACOTAR fandom, more specifically within the Elriel fandom. In this space (on the X platform), these same people have already accused different artists of absurd things, in addition to calling artists names like “whores” and similar insults. This has been a constant behavior, and in my view, it needs the attention of both the community and the community of artists and those who commission art, because there are people disrespecting your work and the goodwill of those who provide artistic content to the fandom. I share the tweets made today (regarding a piece made for Nesta Week) and I translate them.

👇🏻 This is the person who first started it.

It says: They comissioned.... Nesta... as Cassian's mother... MOTHER.... when they have sex 465464x times a day.... and even depicted.... him as child..... in the artwork...........

She is implying that it’s absurd someone made an artwork of Nesta as Cassian’s mother (which is a lie, that’s not what the artwork shows) and that Cassian was depicted as a child because the two of them (in the canonical book) are mates and have a sexual relationship.

Anyone who has actually seen the artwork knows it’s NOT about that. The description of the artwork is clear.

Next 👇🏻

Here, she posts the artwork along with the Instagram caption and also adds an automatic translation (because she doesn’t know English). It only serves to prove that she is still exposing the artwork and the artist. The link to the artwork (so you can check it out) is below.

For those who have seen the artwork, it’s very clear that it depicts Nesta as the Mother (the entity, not a literal mother) appearing in a multiverse to Cassian, who is still a child, living through war and struggle. There is NOTHING sexual about it, nothing implying anything sexual, nothing suggesting that the artist is a criminal, or that the artwork is wrong. It’s a LOVELY piece, showing the Mother entity appearing as Nesta to give strength to a younger, insecure Cassian from the past.

Oh, but they are mates in canon. Their relationship is romantic — yes, that’s true. In canon. Not in an artwork, a drawing, something that came from someone’s imagination, a multiverse, with Nesta as the Mother. The Nessian relationship doesn’t always have to be shown as sexual or as romantic partners, because they are more than that. There can be artworks and artistic interpretations that place them in other types of relationships (in this case, Nesta showing support to a young Cassian simply as a warrior figure).

Next (still about the art) 👇🏻

It says: “It’s just Nesta going back in time to be Cassian’s mother.” Do you even read the bullshit you write? Going back in time to become the mother of the guy she has sex every day is NOT acceptable. Thinking this fanart is normal is SICK. And then you have the audacity to talk about ped**? Look at the crap you’re supporting.

It's from another elriel and her wrong interpretation of the art.

One more 👇🏻

It says: I think it’s weird because it is weird. No normal person looks at a couple they like and thinks, “wow, what if they were mother and son? 😍” You’re just being weird, that’s all.

There are many other comments like this — people accusing the person who commissioned the art, the artist who drew it, and even those who liked it of being “sick” and supporting a crime. ALL because they twisted an innocent artwork into something it is NOT.

This is not the first time that the person from the first screenshot and her friends have done this kind of thing to artists and commissioners. I have proof of her claiming that a fandom artist drew Elain being raped (which is a lie), and of her calling another artist a whore just because she drew Elain with the Band of Exiles. And there’s much more.

It’s time for this community to stop allowing people like this. People who do not respect artists’ work, the effort of commissioners, or the fandom. People who twist everything they see into something wrong, distorted, criminal. People who speak with so much certainty and ease when accusing others of being pedo** or supporting pedo**. Enough.

[haniette]

(in)visible.

pairing | yoon jeonghan x fem!reader

genre | fluff, angst, college au, hidden relationship au, non-idol au, comfort

word count | 7k

warnings | use of pet names (angel, baby, sweetheart), kissing, slight harrasment, mention of abusive behavior, alcohol consumption, jealousy, swearing, soft but also sometimes possesive jeonghan 😩 big angst bro-, THE SAINT LAURENT JEONGHAN???? (on my knees fr)

summary: he decided to give you time, to let you feel comfortable with him and everything else. but you don’t want and need it anymore. you want to be visible. you want the two of you to be visible to the others. that you’re his and he’s yours.

a/n: oh my god.. my writer's block really hit me hard like a truck 😭 i’m so sorry for not posting anything for past few months.. </3 however ! here’s the small gift for you guys <3 hope u enjoy !

(i have already planned new jeonghan fanfiction and i’m SO proud of myself, watch me get the writer’s block again and post it after months again LMAOO)

i got you, you got me,

when it's us, babe,

you make me feel complete.

you're all i need.

Does Yoon Jeonghan have a girlfriend?

That was the question which was asked probably the most past days on your campus.

You could hear it everywhere. People were gossiping about in the hallways, in the bathroom, in the cafteria and even during the lectures, trying to get to the truth.

Is he single or not?

This whole situation began when someone from the campus took a photo of him, hanging out with a girl and holding her hand with a big smile on his lips. The face of the mysterious girl wasn’t shown in the picture, which is why they were wondering who it might be and if she’s his girlfriend.

Jeonghan was a 3rd year student and as far as everyone had known, he was staying single for a long time already. But now, nothing was sure.

People had mixed opinions on it. Some were happy for him that he found somebody to love, some were just really confused while not wanting to believe it's true, and the last group was really negative about it (thinking they even had a chance with Jeonghan, pfft).

However, it was obvious that everyone wanted to know the truth.

Does Yoon Jeonghan have a girlfriend?

However, only two people knew the answer to it.

Yoon Jeonghan himself, and you.

Jeonghan came out from the lecture class with his black messenger bag overhanged across his chest while being deeply immersed in his phone, when Seungkwan, campus’ sweet boy, joined him by his side.

“Hello Jeonghan!” he started enthusiastically, “How’s your day? Are you okay?” the boy blinked a few times and sent him a cute smile, while taking a sip of his beloved iced americano.

Jeonghan frowned, looking at him quite suspiciously.

“Hi,” he mumbled, letting out a sheepish chuckle, “Yea, I’m fine. Just finished my schedule, and I’m a bit tired. And you?” Jeonghan asked, continuing the conversation as the two of them slowly walked towards the entrance of the campus.

“Uhh.. I still have one lecture left, so I need to stay.” Seungkwan pouted, making the other boy smile, “Are you meeting someone? Or going home by yourself?” the sunshine boy asked, making Jeonghan stop mid-step, crossing his arms over his chest.

He looked at the younger boy with an amused expression as he snickered, “Seungkwanie, come on. Don’t tell me you’re also into this whole gossip trend on our campus.”

“Oh, hyung! But is that true? Are you seriously in a relationship?” Seungkwan questioned, tilting his head to the side, while wishing to get the answer everyone wanted to know. “Please! I won’t tell anyone.” he pouted.

Jeonghan let out a quiet snort, while looking to the side as he was kind of getting tired after hearing another person ask him that question.

Why was everyone suddenly so curious about it?

“I’m sorry Kwannie, but I won't tell you. Nice try though.” Jeonghan muttered, fixing his bag on his side, “See you tomorrow.”

Then, he turned around and walked out, leaving the younger boy and all of the gossip behind him in that building.

December's cold, evening breeze hit Jeonghan’s face, finally letting him breathe out in relief. The boy placed the hood over his head, tugging his hands into the pockets of his big hoodie.

He did it. He survived another day without getting caught.

Gosh.. it was so hard for him not to react every time he passed next to you in the hallways. To not stare at your beautiful face for too long, to not send you a soft smile, to not yield his food to you at the cafeteria or just hold your hand. He wanted to do it so badly, and many times he caught himself almost doing it.

But at the same time, Jeonghan was aware that even the smallest thing that could have been taken as ‘more than close friends’, might have caused suspicions from your or his friends. Which you two wanted to avoid at all cost. At least for now.

Your relationship had to stay invisible to people around you.

Even though the boy didn’t like that idea at first, after some time you two agreed that for now you won’t show your relationship in public, especially in college.

Jeonghan decided to give you time to get comfortable as it was your first relationship after being in a really harmful and traumatic one in the senior class at highschool. Your ex was a very cute and nice guy at the beggining who later turned into being really abusive towards you, especially verbally. And when you revealed at the beggining, that you two are dating, a lot of people abandoned you, leaving you behind with the problem that after a while you were forced to deal with all alone.

That’s mostly why you weren’t sure if you wanted to reveal your new relationship. And it’s not that you didn’t trust Jeonghan, because you did. You trusted him as no one else. But because of your past, you were not certain if you could go through that all over again.

Jeonghan couldn’t wait to finally see you, after this long and tiring day. He really wanted to hug you close and tell you how good you looked today. Because he missed you. Your voice, your smile, your smell, your warmth and your touch. He missed every single thing about you, and he hasn't interacted with you for only around 6 hours (not counting all of the texts that the two of you shared today).

Rushing towards your apartment with a bag of takeout food that he bought on the way, Jeonghan was already thinking what you two could do tonight. But the truth was that even if you two laid in your bed, cuddling, he was okay with it. Because what mattered to him was spending his time with you. Not the activity you did.

Right after only one ring to the door, you opened it with a tired smile visible on your face. You were already dressed in your kuromi pyjamas (to which Jeonghan had a matching, ‘my melody’ one), wearing fluffy socks.

Your boyfriend giggled, excited about seeing you and finally having you for himself only.

“Hi.” he said gently, with a bright smile shining on his face.

“Hi.” you replied softly, while connecting your hand with his, taking him into your apartment, and closing your door right behind him.

“I brought food!~" the boy cheered, taking his shoes off by his heels. You couldn’t help but melt, and a bright smile appeared on your lips.

The boy swung the bag in the air with a big smile, and you approached him, slowly kissing his cheek while thanking him sincerely. Then, he quickly placed the bag on the floor and wrapped his hands around your waist, hugging you tightly to his body.

Jeonghan laid his forehead on your shoulder, “I’m tired.” he murmured, closing his eyes while sighing, “I need to recharge.”

A smile creeped onto your lips as you slowly started to play with Jeonghan’s hair, him still being close to you.

“Don’t worry, baby. We have time.” you smiled, caressing his head. You let him ‘recharge’ as the boy didn’t move away from you for even a second.

“You’re doing a great job, Hannie.” finally, you broke the silence, feeling how he snuggled closer into the crook of your neck. The scent of your body has always had a calming effect on Jeonghan, and it wasn’t different now.

“I can’t believe that acting like a stranger with my girlfriend might be that tiring.” he murmured into your skin, immediately catching you off guard.

Your face saddened in the split of the second, with the feeling of guilt starting to take over you.

“Hannie-”

“No, it’s okay.” the boy looked up at you, with his shining, full of understanding eyes, “We both agreed on it after all. And I want you to feel comfortable when you’re with me. So I won’t pressure you into doing things you’re not okay with.” he added, and gently cupped your face with his hands, admiring your features.

“I’m sorry..” you mumbled, feeling the lump in your throat, “I’m sorry that because of me you have to pretend something you don’t want to, but.. please, believe me that I’m really.. really trying to somehow overcome this-”

Jeonghan quickly placed his lips on top of yours, connecting you in a gentle kiss, while stopping you from speaking more. At first your whole body stiffened, not expecting this. But the feeling of Jeonghan’s soft lips on top of yours started to overwhelm you, making you crave for more of him.

However, before you could even react and reciprocate his sweet action, Jeonghan already moved away from you, sending you a reassuring smile.

“Let’s eat, darling. I’m sure you’re hungry.” the boy suggested, and took the bag from the floor, making his way to your kitchen.

“And then I need to put my baby to sleep.” Jeonghan giggled, to which you quickly responded with a scoff, “I’m not a baby anymore.” you muttered, but the smirk was still present on your lips.

You quickly followed right after him, sitting by the kitchen island as you silently watched him take out the containers with food.

But the slight feeling of guilt hasn’t left you at all, making you stay up at night, tossing around in the bed, overthinking everything, while being tightly hugged from the back by Jeonghan.

Should you finally become visible to people?

Or should you let things stay as they’re now?

“So..” Millie — your best friend, started and you looked at her suspiciously.

The two of you were coming back from the nearest coffee shop after buying a coffee to go for yourselves. This small break was good for you as you still had this one lecture to survive.

“So?”

“I met a guy.” she said while covering her face as she already knew how you’re going to react.

You let out a sigh, closing your eyes whilw tilting your head to the side. “Millie, I swear to god..”

“But listen!” she interrupted, “He’s actually really nice and he cares for the others a lot! He’s the greatest gentleman I know! And you won’t believe me, but he’s actually close friends with Yoon Jeonghan.” after hearing that name, your eyes immediately widened.

You choked on your drink, immediately starting to cough, “Ooh..” you started trying to stabilize your voice, “What’s his name?” you asked, quickly realizing that you sounded too interested about that.

Even though you remembered a few of Jeonghan’s friends as he was sometimes going out or just talking about them with you, you were really curious which one stole Millie’s heart.

She grabbed your hand and squeezed it tightly, “Hong Joshua! Can you believe he’s also half american half korean? Just like me!” the girl exclaimed while grinning.

“Yeah, I’m happy for you-” you mumbled while trying to get off her hand, that was slowly starting to make your palm feel numb.

“I think we can even go and meet him now! Joshie said he’ll wait for me by the entrance.” Millie giggled just at the thought of the boy, and already started walking faster, leaving you behind.

You looked at her with some pity written on your face as you shook your head and followed her steps.

A few minutes later, the two of you were already standing by the entrance, waiting for Joshua to join you. On the way, Millie already told you that you’ll have this lecture together.

“He texted me he’ll be here any second!” Millie cheered, showing you the text that he sent her a few seconds ago. And as Joshua said, several seconds later, you two noticed him going towards you. However, he wasn’t alone.

Yoon Jeonghan, who was smiling brightly while listening to Joshua, accompanied him. It made your breath immediately hitch in your lungs.

Oh shit. You haven’t thought about the fact that he might actually come right now with Joshua.

“Hi Joshie!” Millie shouted enthusiastically, waving to the boy to get his attention. As soon as Joshua noticed Millie, his face brightened up as his eyes turned into two small crescents and a cute smile adorned his lips.

But you had your eyes stuck on him. And so did he, with a slight smirk that creeped onto his lips.

“Hi y/n! Millie talked a lot about you, it’s a pleasure to finally meet you.” Joshua greeted you, sending you one of his charming smiles to which you smiled back.

“This is my friend, Jeonghan.” he added, making you move your gaze at the mentioned boy, only to find him already staring at you.

There was a short silence before you decided to make the move.

“Hi.” you finally uttered, smiling gently.

“Hi.” Jeonghan replied, the same way as he had always greeted you.

It was your small tradition that only you two understood. Each of the smallest ‘hi’ you said, also meant ‘i missed you’ or ‘i love you’ at the same time.

“Oh, right, I almost forgot to tell you!” Millie said suddenly, making you twitch.

“Today, together with some other people from campus, we’re going to a barbeque restaurant! If you want to, you can join us. I think it’s going to be more fun and less uncomfortable if you’ll be there.” the girl remarked, and sent you a pleading look.

You looked at Jeonghan, searching for an answer on his face and he silently nodded, “Yeah, I can join you guys. And y/n too.” the boy answered, and shifted his eyes back to you.

“Perfect!” the girl cheered while hugging Joshua’s arm, “Then we see each other tonight at 6PM! I’ll send you the localisation later. But now let’s get going, the lecture is about to start!” she added, and then Millie pulled Joshua to the lecture hall, leaving you two behind.

“Are you okay?” Jeonghan asked, worried by the absent look in your eyes.

You smiled briefly, “Yeah.. I’m just a bit tired. I just need to survive this one last hour. But now let’s go, we don’t want them to get suspicious, do we?” sending a small wink to Jeonghan, you quickly followed your best friend’s steps to the hall, with Jeonghan going right behind you, not being able to hide the smirk on his lips.

When you sat down in the hall room, several students were already there. Millie sat next to Joshua, and Jeonghan decided that you'll sit in the row behind them.

As soon as the lecture started, you placed your arms on the desk and laid down. The feeling of tiredness after not getting enough sleep tonight was taking over you, making it really hard for you to survive this day.

However, it didn’t go unnoticed by Jeonghan that you looked exhausted. Gently, he removed your hair that got in the way, and stroked your back.

He leaned closer and whispered, “How about you rest a bit, hm? I’ll take the needed notes for us, so you don’t have to worry.”

You smiled gently, melting inside from the softness and care that the boy treated you with. Nodding softly, you whispered a small ‘thank you’ to Jeonghan.

Opening your eyes one last time, you saw Jeonghan’s focused face. He was playing with the pen in his hand as he always had to have something in his hand.

As you shifted your gaze to Millie, you immediately noticed that compared to your boyfriend, the girl wasn’t paying attention to the lecture at all. She probably wasn’t even planning on doing it, because Millie was busy studying the boy next to her. Smiling weakly at the mere sight, you closed your eyes, finally drifting off to sleep.

Little did you know, Jeonghan also decided to follow Millie’s steps after some time.

“Hi angel, are you ready?”

Jeonghan peeked into your room as you were finishing getting ready for the night out. You looked up at him in the mirror, and the boy smoothly came closer to you with a smirk playing on his lips. He bent down to be on your eye level, and looked at you from the back by the mirror. The scent of his freshly applied perfume and shower gel hit your nose, showing that he just finished getting ready.

You two came back from the college around two hours ago. At the end of the lecture, the boy patted your arm gently, whispering your name to wake you up. He caught himself smiling at the sight of your sleeping figure, but quickly scolded himself for it, remembering that he has to take notes and act completely unaffected by you.

Not going to lie, it quickly became a big challenge for him.

The boy was wearing a black silk shirt with a deep neckline, paired with black loose pants. His hair was freshly styled, with his bangs resting right over his eyes. He looked incredibly attractive at that moment, making you rethink about how it is even possible that a man and an angel like him is actually your boyfriend.

You, on the other hand, did natural make-up, and wore a black dress that hugged your body perfectly, reaching around your calves area, with a deep cut that reached right above your knee. Your hair was left loose, and with a delicate gold necklace that Jeonghan gifted you on your birthday, your whole look was finished.

It was indeed intentional to choose an outfit that would match Jeonghan’s, and vice versa (but not too obvious). However, the more you thought about it, the more you were starting to doubt if you should go with that dress. Of course you wanted to look elegant and step out of your comfort zone a bit, but you quickly started to think if it was really worth it.

And just as if your boyfriend heard your thoughts, he whispered into your ear, “You look beautiful, sweetheart.” Jeonghan left a sweet peck on your cheek, “You don’t have to feel unsafe or uncomfortable. I promise I’ll be there to protect you everytime, at any cost.” he added, solving all of the problems that you could have been thinking at that moment.

The boy moved away a bit, finally allowing you to let out the breath that you didn’t even realize you’ve been holding the whole time. The scent of him was always really strong and just being by his side, you thought that you might go insane by any second.

Soon later, the two of you finally left your apartment, and sat comfortably in Jeonghan’s car that he parked in front of your house. Your way to the restaurant went actually really comfortably, and even when you didn’t say much, Jeonghan tightly held his hand intertwined with yours, whispering from time to time compliments to you.

When you entered the restaurant, Millie, Joshua and some other people that you didn’t really know were already sitting by the table. As soon as your best friend noticed you, she yelled your name and waved to you. The two of you joined the group, and you sat down next to Millie and a guy that you didn’t know. Jeonghan sat on the other side of the table, next to Joshua, and a girl who was really known in your college, Siyeon.

“I’m glad you guys actually made it!” Joshua cheered, and you smiled at him.

“Why did you two come together?” Siyeon asked, “Are you two dating or something?” she added, gaining everyone’s attention as everyone heard about the gossip.

She always knew how to get people to look at her. Siyeon was not only called the goddess of the campus, but also she made it with her attitude. And even now, she successfully gained everyone’s gaze by looking at her and at you two, while smirking lazily.

Her question made you immediately start to panic inside, but you were trying to not show it that much on the outside. Not knowing how to respond, you looked at Jeonghan, frightened. The boy immediately read from your facial expression what’s happening, and he decided to take action.

The boy laughed out loud, “Oh come on, guys! Does really everything have to be about dating? I just gave y/n a ride because it’s dark already, and she lives near me.”

Smooth.

Jeonghan looked at you, and sent you an apologetic look, “We’re just friends. We’re not in a relationship, guys.” he added, making the others start joking and laughing because of this situation.

Oh.

Even though you knew that the boy did it to protect you, and your relationship, you still felt that stinging pain in your heart.

But actually, what did you expect? Jeonghan did what he had to do to keep your relationship a secret. Something that you two agreed to do, especially because of you.

So why did you feel that way? Maybe.. just maybe, you deeply hoped that he would admit it, and say that you’re his girlfriend.

“Hey, you okay?” you heard Millie’s whisper by your ear, bringing you back from your thoughts.

You nodded, chuckling from embarrassment, “Yeah, I’m fine. Sorry.” she stroked your arm gently while sending you a reassuring smile, and you sent her a small smile, reaching for your glass of water to take a sip.

When all of you ordered, and the food together with alcohol was finally brought, your group started to eat, while telling stories, joking around, and slowly getting more drunk.

You weren’t really a fan of drinking as you had a light head, so you were always the responsible one for Millie as she always wanted to drink. But even now, when she had Joshua by her side, you still decided not to drink.

Jeonghan always reminded and assured you, that you shouldn’t worry about not drinking anymore. He insisted, that if you’d want to have some fun with friends then you shouldn’t stop yourself, because he’ll be there to protect you and take you home afterwards. But even when you knew he truly meant it, you still decided to stick by your glass of water.

Millie was already clinging to Joshua, already getting tipsy from the drinks she drank. People were laughing loudly at something and you were sitting silently, listening while finishing your portion of tteokbokki that you decided to have. A few minutes later, Jeonghan excused himself by the need to go to the toilet.

As soon as he disappeared by the corner, the boy next to you named Changmin, who also drank a few bottles of soju after the challenges the boys from your college made, turned around and suddenly shouted, “Oh y/n!” what made you immediately look at him, not knowing what was happening.

Then, the boy leaned closer to you, making you widen your eyes and he clumsily sweeped some of the sauce with his thumb, that was in the corner of your lips.

Unfortunately, while being already tipsy from the alcohol, he made even a bigger mess on your face as he not only smeared the sauce to your chin but also some of your lipstick.

“Oops!” he laughed goofily, and some of the boys that were there started to laugh with him.

You just hoped that someone would somehow help you. But Millie was already passed out on the chair, with Joshua being concerned about her. Other girls, including Siyeon, were busy gossiping and drinking more soju. So you were left alone with this situation.

Quickly, you reached for the napkin that was near your bowl, and turned slightly to the side, gently removing the sauce and leftovers from your lipstick. You felt embarrassed because of what happened, just as if that boy fully meant to do it.

But it wasn’t funny to you at all.

Changmin looked at you one more time before smacking your thigh with his palm and squeezing it slightly. You widened your eyes as you were flabbergasted what just happened. And in the split of the second, you pushed his hand away.

“What the fuck are you doing?” you asked angrily, as you immediately felt uncomfortable but also pissed by the boy’s sudden action.

“Aww, poor baby is not in the mood,” he chuckled and reached for his chopsticks to take another piece of the tteokbokki from your plate and put it in front of your mouth.

“We need to feed the baby, say aaaaah~”

You hit his hand away once again, and the boys around started to laugh even more, making you feel ashamed. The tears from helpless frustration started to sting your eyes, but you strongly resisted to open your mouth and eat the tteokbokki that Changmin put in front of you once again.

“Come on, y/n! Say a-”

“I’m sure y/n is not hungry anymore.”

You heard a voice from behind you, and the person quickly pushed Changmin’s arm away. You looked up, seeing Jeonghan’s serious face behind you. He took a quick glance at you, immediately noticing the tears that swelled in your eyes.

Your boyfriend grabbed your wrist and pulled you up, the chair squeaking by the sudden drag.

“Oh come one, dude!” one of the boys shouted, but he was totally ignored by Jeonghan.

He quickly hid your fragile body behind his silhouette, looking into your eyes which glistened with tears.

Jeonghan cupped your cheeks with his hands, “Talk to me, angel. Did he hurt you?” he whispered gently, looking at you intensively.

You didn’t respond to him, tears glistening in your eyes.

The boy cursed under his breath, quickly focusing on you once again, “I’m sorry.. I’m so sorry angel that I left you here alone..” he whispered, gently kissing your forehead, “I’ll take you home now.”

“Jeonghan, dude! Your friend is so damn pretty,” Changmin yelled, lazily getting up from the chair, stumbling over his own legs, “Can I have her number? You know that I like girls like her, especially in bed.”

You could see how Jeonghan’s face immediately darkened, and he let out a loud scoff after hearing the boy’s question. He took a deep breath and grasped your hand.

“Okay, then I’ll text you later!” Changmin shouted.

Not even glancing back anymore you two left the restaurant, immediately getting into Jeonghan’s car.

This time, the silence was really uncomfortable, compared to the time you drove here. The atmosphere between you not knowing why thickened.

During the whole way home, Jeonghan was silent. He focused on the road, still holding your hand, and only taking small glances at you from time to time. There were a few times when you wanted to say something, but as your mouth opened, nothing came out. You thought as if you’re going to explode from the nervousness you felt at that moment.

When you finally reached your apartment, you walked into it silently, taking off your coats and shoes.

You knew that the boy was trying to give you some time and space, but as you’ve already known Jeonghan well, you knew that something was bothering him as well.

The boy muttered something about getting a glass of water for himself, and you, feeling guilty about everything that had happened, decided to follow him to the kitchen like a puppy.

He took a glass for himself and also for you, and poured some water for you to drink before drinking from his glass. But you had other plans than drinking that stupid water.

You knew it was finally the time to destroy the wall between the two of you.

“Jeonghan-” you said, but in the blink of an eye his glass hit the hard surface of your kitchen island and he scooped you up, placing you on the countertop.

Jeonghan’s arms rested by the two of your sides, securing you, as he stood between your legs. He was silent, with his head lowered.

Your heart was beating like crazy and your breathing sped up. You had no idea what you should do in this situation.

“It’s so.. fucking frustrating.” the boy hissed, still not looking at you. You decided to give him time and you waited for him patiently.

Finally, after a while the boy raised his head, looking straight into your eyes. As he was slightly bent down, his eyes were on the same level as your, dangerously close to your face.

“It’s so fucking frustrating, that people can’t see that we are together. That you can’t call me yours, and I can’t call you mine. That I have to tell everyone that we’re just friends. That we can’t have any, even the smallest interactions..” he stopped for a second, being completely drowned in your eyes.

“Please.. y/n.” Jeonghan sighed painfully, “Can’t you see how hard I’m trying? Just give.. us a chance. I will show you that we can be together in the public, and that we can survive by being by each other’s side. Because I love you, y/n.”

And for the first time in your life, you saw Jeonghan's eyes fill with tears, making it really hard for you to also not tear up.

“A-and..” he stuttered, as his voice slowly started to break.

“Recently I’m not even sure anymore if you still love me the same way as I do.”

Ouch.

Just one sentence. Small like a needle, but painful like a knife.

You immediately cupped Jeonghan’s face, wiping his tears away with your thumb. The boy had stuck his eyes still to yours, desperately looking for an answer.

“I’m sorry, I’m so so so.. sorry, that I made you feel that way..” you uttered, “I was blind, mainly following my feelings and needs, while not focusing enough on yours, which you also had.” you stopped for a second, taking a big breath to not let your voice break.

“You’ve always been so patient with me, always honest and so soft with the way you treated me.. You protected me, and was with me when I needed you the most. And I..” your voice broke, and you let out a shaky sigh.

“I gave you nothing back but rules. I feel so stupid because of that..” your eyes shone with the tears that you couldn’t hold in anymore. Jeonghan was listening to you silently, with his eyes still watery, but now you could find hope in it.

“I’m so sorry, Hannie..” you whispered as you brought the boy closer, crossing your hands over his shoulders. He snuggled into the crook of your neck, while holding your waist tightly, and inhaling your scent.

You stayed in this position for a few good minutes, before you finally pulled away, resting your foreheads over yourselves. You had your eyes stuck on Jeonghan’s shining ones, and he had on yours. And at that point, when you were staring at your boyfriend, you'd made up your mind.

You were ready.

“Hannie..” you uttered.

The boy sent you a soft smile, “Yes, angel?” he murmured.

“I want us to be visible. I don’t want us to hide anymore.” you decided, immediately noticing how much you caught Jeonghan off guard by your sudden statement.

On the spur of the moment and Jeonghan’s confusion, you leaned down and placed your lips on top of his, connecting you in a soft kiss.

At first, Jeonghan didn’t react to your action. But then he melted into the kiss, turning it into a passionate and hungry kiss. He quickly cupped your cheeks with one of his hands, holding your face gently while not allowing you to pull away with his other hand that rested on your waist.

You ran your hands through his soft, dark hair. The boy lifted your body from the kitchen island, and you wrapped your legs around his waist, not breaking the kiss as the boy made his way to your bedroom.

Yeah.

You were sure that you wanted to make you two visible.

The sound of the messages blowing up your phone has been ringing for the past 15 minutes, echoing in your room. Irritated by another incoming call, you finally woke up, and it turned out that it was Millie, the same as all of the messages.

You answered the call and put it on the speaker, placing your phone next to your pillow as you layed back on the bed.

“Millie.. I swear to god, if it’s something unimportant and you woke me up on the day when the lectures start later-”

“Wait y/n! Have you checked my messages?” Millie’s loud voice made you squeeze your eyes from the loudness, as you were still half asleep.

A sigh left your mouth, “Girl be for real. You just woke me up, how could I check your messages?” you muttered while rubbing your eyes.

“Then check it! I think you need to see it!” Millie shouted, and lazily, you took your phone, unlocking it and going straight to messages.

Millie sent you a screenshot with an Instagram post, uploaded by Siyeon. She took a selfie with Jeonghan, who sat next to her (probably not even knowing she was taking photos).

You immediately noticed that this photo was taken at the meeting that you attended a few days ago. Siyeon was wearing the same, short burgundy dress she wore that day, and Jeonghan had the same black shirt on.

But the most disturbing thing was the description she wrote under the post.

Liked by shushu_a and 16 134 others

SolLaSiyeon: finally breaking the radio silence 😘

“Can you believe that Lim Siyeon is in a relationship with Yoon Jeonghan?!” Millie squealed on the other side, and she started talking about something, but her voice began to gradually mute. You didn’t respond, being completely stunned by what you just saw.

“Wait. How do you know they’re together?” you asked, wanting to deny Millie’s assumption, “She didn’t say anything about it.”

“Oh y/n.. the title holds the whole meaning!” your best friend was quick to answer you, “She breaks the radio silence while posting a photo with Yoon Jeonghan. And in the description she writes ‘breaking the radio silence’ which refers to the gossip about Jeonghan’s girlfriend!”

Now it actually made sense, what made you feel even more terrified.

That one scene kept playing in your mind.

“Why did you two come together? Are you two dating or something?”

The girl was planning it from the beginning, making sure that her plan would work out.

Your best friend was still talking about something, but you didn’t really have the time to listen about how Joshua did this and that, so unfortunately you had to cut her off, “Sorry, Millie, but I really have to go. I’ll see you at the lectures later.” and you hung up, quickly getting up from the bed to get ready.

You couldn’t just leave it like that, you had to do something.

But what exactly..?

Your heart was racing and you felt like throwing up. You were waiting by one of the lecture halls, pacing back and forth while trying to calm yourself down. From what you’ve heard from some people on the campus, Siyeon was supposed to finish her lecture now, making it easier for you to catch her and talk with her.

And just as you were coming by the door again, it opened widely and people started to flood out of the room. You waited, standing on the side by the wall, while nervously biting your lower lip. You kept observing when the girl would come out from the lecture hall.

Finally, after some seconds you noticed the familiar face, immediately feeling how your insides start to roll from the stress. Siyeon was talking with one of her friends, not even sparing one glance at you, being deeply immersed in her conversation.

You took one deep breath before following them, and finally calling Siyeon’s name. The girl stopped her movements and turned around to face you, immediately putting the fake ‘shit i have to look friendly’ smile on her face.

“Hi y/n, what’s up?” she asked, trying to sound as enthusiastic as she could. You gulped, feeling how hot your whole body started to feel.

“Hi,” you mumbled, “Could I ask you a favor?” the girl looked at you questioningly.

“Could you delete the post with Jeonghan that you recently posted?”

Siyeon’s eyes grew bigger as her smile turned into a grimace. “Huh why? Is something wrong with that, sweetie?”

“I don’t want you to create confusion and another round of gossip about my boyfriend.”

There you go. You finally said that.

However, the girl pressed her lips tightly, and looked at her friend, bursting out laughing. The wave of coldness ran through your body. That wasn’t something you expected.

“Okay, o-okay,” Siyeon stuttered, trying to calm down from laughing, “You got us. That was a nice one, y/n. Now if you excuse us-”

“I’m not finished.”

Suddenly, your hand gripped onto her wrist, stopping her mid-step from walking away. Siyeon glanced at your hand that was tightened around her forearm. She rolled her eyes, letting out a scoff as she turned around to face you.

Then you finally noticed how people started to circle you, observing what’s happening, some even recording. Your mouth immediately felt dry but you knew you couldn’t give up now.

“I don’t want you to post any more photos that include my boyfriend, while trying to make an impression as if he is your boyfriend. Yes! We might have been secret about our relationship, but it’s not as if we didn’t have the right to. It’s actually none of anyone’s business who Jeonghan is dating, because it shouldn’t be anyone’s main concern. But, when you post a photo with a description that says ‘breaking the radio silence’ as if you’re proposing to everyone, that you two are dating, then nothing else is left for me than to finally reveal the main secret, that everyone has been dying to find out the truth.” you smirked, while letting out a quiet snark.

“Yoon Jeonghan is dating me. I am his girlfriend, and Jeonghan is mine.”

Everyone and everything around you fell silent. The only thing you could hear at that moment was your rapidly beating heart, and your own breathing.

After some seconds, you finally looked at Siyeon, only to find she wasn’t looking at you. The girl had her eyes set on something behind your figure. You frowned, and slowly turned around.

At that moment, you felt as if your heart dropped. Your whole body froze, the feeling of embarrassment and shame striking you right at that specific moment.

Because no one else than Yoon Jeonghan himself was standing a few meters from you, in front of the whole crowd. He had his hands stuck in the pockets of his jeans, head tilted a little to the side while a proud smirk was stuck to his lips.

When Siyeon finally came out of her daze, she hit your stiff figure with her shoulder as she ran up to Jeonghan, pouting. “Jeonghanie! Did you hear what that crazy chick was saying? Isn’t she stupid? How could she even say such insane things! You’re not her boyfrie-”

“Oh, but I am.” he cut her off, with that lazy smirk he always loved to wear.

If your speech made an impact on people who stood around you, Jeonghan’s approval surely caught the whole crowd off guard. Everyone started to whisper, gossip and murmur about something.

“W-what?” Siyeon’s lips started to tremble, “But oppa..” she whined, trying to argue with him, but Jeonghan simply ignored her.

He slowly approached your shaking figure, sending you a warm grin. Gently, he took your hand and connected it with his, intertwining your fingers. The boy left a butterfly kiss on your knuckles, immediately getting sounds of adorations and approval from around.

Your eyes met his, and the boy whispered, “Trust me.”

Jeonghan slowly walked out of the crowd, pulling you out from that corridor. The two of you left the building silently, and finally when you were in the campus’ park, you had to break the silence.

“Hannie..” you removed your hand from his, gaining a questioning look from your boyfriend, “Listen, I’m sorry.. I know I should have stopped myself from doing it, from getting jealous, from confronting Siyeon, and from letting out the secret, but believe me I didn’t do it on purpose.. I-I.. ah..” you stuttered, being lost in your words, “I couldn’t just leave it like that when everyone started to gossip about you being in a relationship with her and-”

“y/n, stop.” Jeonghan’s firm voice ran through your whole body, shutting you up right away.

The boy chuckled, gently cupping your cheeks with his palms, and looking deeply into your eyes with his shining ones.

“Did you really think I would get mad at you for any of these? Angel.. why would I even do that..? You can’t imagine how happy I felt when you finally gave us a green light. But still, I wanted you specifically to tell us about us and our relationship.” he caressed your cheeks with his knuckles, smiling at your pouting face.

“And that moment when you claimed that you’re my girlfriend and I’m only yours? Damn, sweetheart, that was so hot-”

“Yoon Jeonghan!” he immediately got rewarded with a slap on his shoulder as the boy bursted out laughing at your shyness.

“Okay, I’m sorry!” he giggled, and you finally broke the grimace, sending him a soft smile.

“But seriously, you can’t even believe how happy you just have made me right there.” Jeonghan added, and left a sweet kiss on your forehead before conecting your hands once again.

“Hot chocolate?” he asked charmingly.

“Hot chocolate.” you nodded.

Walking down the main sidewalk of your campus, many people looked at you, and specifically at your intertwined hands. With your cheeks burning red, you took your phone out of your pocket, only to find lots of calls and messages from people from the campus. And one of them was Millie.

Millie:

YOU.

bitch

how dare you not tell me anything!!!! >:(

you have LOTS to tell me

and i won’t let you go

oh nononononooooo

so better prepare yourself

cuz i need to know

every.

single.

detail.

EVERYTHINGGGGGG

As you think of it now, while laying peacefully in your bed and having Jeonghan snuggled into the crook of your neck, even if you liked the way you two functioned while being ‘invisible’, you had to agree.

Being visible with Jeonghan was much better.

© shuawonie | 2023, all rights reserved.

reuploads and likes are highly appriciated ♡

[constantcrying]

Ersatz, baby

m!shape-shifter!yandere x gn!reader. 4k words. yes. I'm so sorry.

TW: Obsession, possessive thoughts and behaviors, mentions of violence, gore, consumption of humans, idk how to tag it but the shape-shifter eats humans and has considered eating the reader so like heads up about that

Heeeeey

Somebody PLEASE tell me if the length of this piece is detrimental to the experience of reading it it’s like 4k words. Here’s something I’ve been kicking around for ages. Frankly I am shocked I have something at all after a year

“Odd couple” is the best way to describe the friendship between you and Sasha. You’re awkward and responsible and outwardly boring. He’s highly social, wild, and intriguing. You’re genuine to a fault. He’s an expert in facades; he is a facade. You’re human and he’s something utterly not.

The freak accident of affection between you two is...still hard for him to wrap his head around. It seems to be your fault. If you weren’t so pitifully earnest toward him he would have just gotten rid of you. You were aware of his true nature, and definitely scared of it, but you kept going out of your way to be the Good Roommate™, to play friends. He had to let you live, just to see what the fuck your deal is. Now it’s too late. Now he wants you around.

You are the only person in the world that he has shown his real body to.

Some of his victims have seen it, but you’re the first person he intended to see it. The decision was quiet, perhaps a little impulsive. A simple exchange of “What are you, Sasha?” and “I don’t know. Wanna see?” had you both going to your bedroom and locking the door.

For the first time in his life, his heart pounded as he shed his clothes. He almost didn’t want you to turn around and look. It might be better if you only knew the carefully curated version of him, the handsome appearance he painstakingly crafted for the easiest social life. Even though you already knew he wasn’t human and pretended it didn’t matter, what if you saw him now and knew with absolute certainty that you didn’t want to look at him ever again? He would have to swallow you whole. He wasn’t sure if he could do it.

Regardless he said, “turn around.”

He showed you the unvarnished form that he had inherited from his mother. To be frank: It’s a predator’s body. Worse that that, it’s a monster’s. There are features and junctures of him so uncanny it must hurt the logical mind to observe them. If you were ever looking for the perfect rebuttal to the existence of a loving God, look no further than his cruel mouth.

He crept onto you bed looking like this, towering over you, your bed-frame screaming to protest the weight. He’d have to cut you off at the source, if you were to scream. And though he could smell the fear wafting from your skin, could practically feel the constricting blood vessels and tightening muscles in you, you still asked him, “Hey, is it more comfortable? Do you prefer being like this?”

Honestly? He isn’t sure there’s a body that’s comfortable and natural to him anymore. He’s so used to a human state that anything else feels awkward, even when it’s easier to shift to. As you took his massive claws into your hands and examined them with gentle curiosity, though, he was struck by the warmth of you. It was a long time since anyone had really touched him. It might’ve been even longer for you, loner that you are. Which meant you were the only person who could understand the way he felt in that moment.

He flopped over next to you, letting out an embarrassing dog-like whine, but you just laughed sweetly, and shifted pillows around to accommodate his bigger size. His feet and tail still dangled awkwardly off the bed. “You can relax in here,” you said. “You’re always welcome, since you’re my friend.”

You rambled about your classes and professors until all the adrenaline had left your system. He didn’t say much in response, but you didn’t mind. After a while, you could almost meet his preternatural gaze. You even dozed off like this, with a monster beside you, you utter weirdo. He put his head closer to your chest and felt your sleeping breaths for hours, thinking that your throat would be butter-soft under his teeth.

Sasha knows very little about what he really wants. He’s not sure if he’ll stay in his major, or in school, or even in human society. He knows for certain, though, that he wants more time to study you. He wants just your quiet voice and humble body heat and the understanding that, whatever he is, it isn’t going to chase you away.

So you two keep doing this. Every few days he’ll skulk over to where you are and make room for himself, and the two of you will talk for hours. Sometimes he shifts. He doesn’t always want to, but you get more comfortable with him that way. You...seem more keen to pet him when he looks and acts like an animal, and he wants you to touch him so bad he’s worried he’ll start asking for it. Could he ever live it down, if he started asking to be coddled? No. So he wags his tail and butts his head against you like that isn’t it’s own special brand of pathetic.

It’s not like you’re one to judge, though. You’re just so happy to have a friend that comes to hang out with you. You’ve never had very many of those, but of course Sasha knows he’s extra special. There’s much he’s learned about the world from his strange perspective, and you’re always excited to listen to his stories.

You do understand that he needs to eat a lot. You see him clear out four bacon cheeseburgers as a snack once, and he cracks jokes about how breakfast was red bull and adderall, but you know that it’s just a part of his biology that works against him. So you go out of your way to cook more meat, and give him bigger portions than anyone else, ignoring the way your blatant favoritism must look to the other roommates and occasional visitors. He doesn’t bother explaining that your idea of a big meal is like his idea of an appetizer, and he never will.

He doesn’t talk about the people he eats, either. He’s starting to think you don’t realize he does that.

(If you really don’t know, if this is the way you treat him when you don’t know, there’s no fucking way he can tell you.)

As for you, you talk about your courses and your classmates. From the way you talk around it, he’s mostly figured out the sad shape of your childhood and he decides that’s why you’re so weird and naive.

Mostly, you tell him about your hobbies, and your taste in TV shows. That’s when something in you is unlocked, revealing you to be more witty and giggly than your initial impression. It’s gratifying to know most other people don’t discover that side of you, like being the only prospector who knows where gold is. You tell him about everything you used to watch and play with your best friend, back when she had time for you. He’s a little confused by just how fervently you love things, how you start to care one day and then never, ever stop.

He never did it before, but now the two of you watch garbage TV together. (You tried to invite your best friend to join you, but to Sasha’s satisfaction, she gave you that cringing sort of smile and told you she didn’t have time.) Every Friday comes a new episode of Crater County, this schlocky supernatural police procedural, so every Thursday night you ask him to watch it with you. He’s a busy man, of course, but he’ll fit it into his schedule since he knows you so look forward to it.

This Thursday you must have forgot.

Somehow, in the early morning on Friday, you slip away without Sasha noticing. He wakes up to the honks of geese and distant cars, and the ever-present hum of electricity. As he thinks of pestering you to make ham and eggs, just to watch you get annoyed, he notices the conspicuous lack of your heartbeat.

He knows better than to doubt his hearing. But he still goes into your room across the hall to find the bed unmade and unoccupied. He almost goes to check your pillow for warmth, only stopping when he realizes it’s...stupid, to do that. He stays in the doorway for a long moment, overly-conscious of your scent. Then he goes to pace in the empty kitchen.

It hadn’t occurred to you to say goodbye to him, or leave him a portion of breakfast as you usually do, so you must have been in a hurry. Distantly, he remembers your fast food job. You probably got called to cover for someone at the last minute. Even so, shouldn’t you have said something to him? So that he wouldn’t wonder? Because he’s—

—well, you called him your friend.

It bothers him the more he thinks about it, while he showers and gets coffee and goes to class. The two of you haven’t talked since Monday and it feels weird. You always tell him when you’re going out, so what happened? Where can he even find you?

Not that he would need to find you. Sasha isn’t clingy. Clingy is his ex making alt account after alt account to pester him on instagram with stupid questions like, “are you seriously trying to ghost me you asshole?” And Sasha isn’t doing that. He hasn’t even texted you yet, because you haven’t texted him, and you always text first. If you don’t go through with the trouble of asking for him, he absolutely will not bother coming.

You haven’t sent so much as a “hey!” in the last seventeen times that he’s checked, so. Guess you guys aren’t hanging out. Whatever. It’s not like he doesn’t have stuff to do. He’s behind on several classes, a habitual skipper, and there are four other people begging him to come out tonight. He hasn’t hunted in a while so he should probably do that too.

He should go and talk to other humans, re-acquire their speech patterns and body language. He should catch himself when he makes gestures you would make, stop himself from making them. That’s why he goes to lunch with a friend group he met last month, and fits in with them seamlessly—or, almost seamlessly. No one can say he isn’t a good talker, slick as oil and quick with comebacks, but he’s a little more sensitive than usual today. While he’s in the middle of charming them he slips up and says something you would say.

“Isn’t that a Crater County reference you just made?” One girl says to him, stopping the conversation cold. “I thought you hated nerdy stuff like that.”

Sasha laughs shortly. “What? Says who?”

“Says you. You laughed at someone’s Supernatural tattoo at the party, remember?”

“It was a fucking horrendous tattoo. And I don’t like Crater Country or whatever, either, I just know some lines because my,” his throat feels like a desert, but he continues, “my roommate is obsessed with that shit.”

They brush over that thought soon enough, shifting focus to upcoming concerts, but Sasha can’t get comfortable again. He feels like he forgot how eyes work, and his are going to slip and turn reptilian in the middle of this well-populated restaurant. He’s scared his hands are going to morph into paws. In the end, he excuses himself before he can finish his meal.

Since he’s still quite hungry, Sasha decides he’ll drop by the butcher and get a few pounds of beef chuck to tide him over until dark. He’ll go to that fancy shop with all the grass-fed cruelty-free organic stuff, because he’s passionate about the well-fare of livestock, and definitely not because it’s just down the street from your job.

But since he’s there, anyway, he’ll pass by and peek through the windows to see what’s happening there.

Your restaurant is packed. A sports team, or special event or something, has filled every table in sight, and more people queue up at the register. You’re boxing fries and passing them over to waiting customers’ trays. Even though you’ve got mountains of food to work through, you’re smiling. It takes only a few seconds to find out why, following the arc of your eye up to a man in the same uniform as you.

The guy is tall and average-looking, and he keeps leaning toward you to talk like he doesn’t know how to speak loudly even though he works in a goddamn kitchen. Sasha doesn’t know him by face, or by word of mouth, since you’ve never told him about a co-worker that can make you giggle so much.

Why hadn’t you told Sasha about the funniest man of the century, huh?

More importantly, why hadn’t you noticed the way this asshole was looking at you? Staring so intently, exaggerating his expressions, mirroring you. All the same tricks Sasha has used before but with none of the grace, and yet somehow you liked it from this guy when Sasha had seemed scary to you.

He just can’t understand. That wouldn’t be such a problem if he hadn’t believed that he did understand you, and the way your mind worked. You had said Sasha was your friend and you had sat in the truth with him, relieved to see him for what he truly was, and you had been asking after his health and his happiness, wasting nights with him, cooking for him, cuddling up with him, and now here you were forgetting about his existence with another friend that he didn’t know about.

Sasha has been cheated on by a partner in the past. They left him one night and came back in the wee hours smelling like a fresh shower, with traces of someone else’s odor still clinging to them. It hadn’t felt like anything, to know that they were sneaking behind his back. Not a betrayal, no sting or ache in the heart he supposedly had. He broke up with them a week after, and that, like all his other breakups, was simply annoying. Sasha had always felt like he wasn’t with any of the people he was with. He was watching them, and touching them, and living among them, but there was some kind of invisible barrier between him and all the world. So when they broke a connection, well, what was there to even break? How could he care?

And why did being cheated on come to mind when he saw you happy with some other guy?

Sasha would later find out that you pulled a twelve hour shift that day, and, pushover that you were, you didn’t take a break long enough to check your phone. But he doesn’t stay to watch you, he really couldn’t. A pit had formed in his stomach, some void, some black hole that he had to attend to.

He leaves you there in your job and your apparent fun, none the wiser, and goes to the butcher. He gets himself a rack of ribs, and a few pounds of steak, and a heart just because the shop had one on hand and they were happy to serve a customer with such deep pockets as him. He gets a couple of cheeseburgers for the ride home and finishes them in a few bites.

As soon as he knows your other roommates aren’t home, he tears into the paper packaging of the prepared meats and gorges himself over the kitchen sink, soiling his shirt with myoglobin. It all tastes like ash, disappearing into him the way so many things do. When he’s done, when every last shred of flesh and sliver of bone has been swallowed, his stomach growls.

He’s always been this empty. Maybe that was the thing you saw that made you so afraid upon first meeting him—the bottomless trench that he actually was.

You said he was your friend. You knew what he was and didn’t back away. But you have so little else in your life. If you gained anything more, real friends, real family, a lover, wouldn’t someone as hollow and alien as Sasha be easily discarded?

There’s nothing for it. He has to go and hunt now.

Your co-worker is pitifully easy to discover. By checking the likes on your posts, he finds the creep has been hounding you for three weeks now. His unmitigated social media addiction leaves the entirety of his existence splatter across the internet. Sasha learns and forgets his name. He knows exactly what place he’ll be at tonight, with whom, for how long. He shifts to look exactly like you, heads out and stops at the right street corner with a bulky gym bag, waiting.

It’s so easy. Sasha can play You, but this guy hardly deserves all that effort. It’s enough to show up magically with your face, even if your clothes and piercings seem out of place. All Sasha has to do is bat lashes and flash a smile that he has already memorized—your stupid sincere grin that had made you, like the sun, difficult to look at directly—and this idiot thinks the person in front of him is really you, out on the same night by coincidence. He’s happy to see you, and happier still that you want to go somewhere together. He lets Sasha take him by the hand, convinced that the two of you are going out for drinks through innocuously empty backstreets. It doesn’t strike him as weird that you’re so energetic and flirty all of a sudden. Asshole.

He at least has the decency to carry the bag, no doubt hoping to come off as a gentleman.

“Why a duffel bag, anyway?” He marvels.

“To change clothes before I go home, silly,” Sasha tells him, leading him further into the night.

It turns out the co-worker is deeply uncomfortable with silence. He cracks jokes that aren’t funny, to which Sasha politely chuckles for what is only ten minutes but feels like an hour.

“When you kept turning me down,” he says, predictably, “I was worried you had a boyfriend or something.”

“Why would I not tell you if I had a boyfriend?” Sasha croons in your voice, fighting with all his will-power to not crush your co-worker’s hand. They’re finally on a quiet street, between two condemned houses, where there are no cameras and no pedestrians.

“Haha, I don’t know. You’re like, really private. That roommate you talk about all the time? The one going to the same school? I honestly feel like I know more about her than I know about you.”

“You mean, ‘him’? Sasha?” Sasha blinks owlishly with your eyes, his heart melting a little when he imagines you gushing about him to other people.

The guy laughs nervously. “No, I mean Maya. Is Sasha another roommate? Have you mentioned her before?”

Really. Maya. That “best friend” who basically pretends you don’t exist, who takes up valuable real estate in your mind when some people who have spent months getting to know you don’t even get a text.

Sasha gives up on looking friendly.

Your co-worker has finally sensed something is off, wincing as he tugs his hand out of Sasha’s vice-grip. Stretching out his fingers, he asks, “Hey, how much farther ‘til we get there? I swear we’ve passed like, three bars already...”

He doesn’t get to say more because Sasha lets out his teeth and goes for the throat.

It must be said that a warm meal always beats a cold one, but other that that it’s a shitty fare, gristly and lacking in flavor. This guy’s blood, fresh from the veins, is flat and forgettable. Even the marrow of his bones disappoints. At least he didn’t put up a fight...though maybe some enrichment could have saved this boring dinner.

Sasha feels more bloated than full when it’s all over. He wipes down and changes into fresh clothes, stuffing all the bloody garments into the duffel bag. He still feels kinda gross, and considers a long, hot shower while picking muscle fibers from between his teeth.

Are you going to worry about your co-worker? Are you going to miss him? Will you cry if they identify his blood on clothes found in the dump? Will you even tell Sasha why you’re crying?

Sasha snaps out of his deep thoughts when his phone buzzes. The text from you reads:

hey! i forgot to ask, are you on for crater county tonight?

What the fuck. Renewed frustration flushes through his system. What is he, your backup plan? He has a life—actually, many more lives than you! You should know better than to screw around with his time. He shouldn’t even dignify your bullshit with a response, but he does anyway—

At a party

And your answer is,

oh ok

we’ll watch it some other time

have fun!

…

Stay safe ok! Call me if you need something

It’s such a low blow he has to wonder if you’re doing it on purpose: you’re telling him all the same things he’s heard you tell Maya when she blows you off. He can hear the disappointment and embarrassment in your voice, the way you assure her of your eternal affection and concern while she practically dismisses you. Once he’s imagining your face, then, all he wants in the world is to look at it.

He’s a good runner. He’s barely out of breath when he arrives home, tossing aside his sweaty hoodie and kicking off his shoes while he quietly closes the door behind him. The dishwasher is running. He can just make out the low moan of the central air system, and one lazy heart thumping in the living room.

For a moment you don’t notice that Sasha is there. He gets to watch you quietly. You’re languishing on the couch in your bedclothes, staring blankly at the No Signal screen on the TV with a bowl of popcorn untouched on the coffee table. It surprises him. He hasn’t seen you with an expression this dull in a while.

But it disappears in an instant.

“Sasha!” You bolt upright, your face brightening like the sky at dawn when you find him standing in the doorway. “Did the party end already?”

He doesn’t know what to say.

You glance back at the TV. “Um, I swear I wasn’t going to watch without you! I was just…”

“Were you waiting for me?” He asks.

Your expression flickers, betraying the anxiety in your eyes before you have the chance to look away. Why did he even bother to ask? You’re here for him, like a puppy waiting for their owner, and suddenly he’s flushed and queasy—no, it’s not sickness that he feels, it’s butterflies. He’s so delighted he feels dumb, all of his frustration and embarrassing angst vanishing in an instant because all he can think of is how sweet you are.

“Ah,” he laughs dryly. “I’m screwed.”

Before you even know to cry out, he’s thrown himself at you, arms coiling around your waist. The two of you fall back on the couch.

When you get your bearings, you scold him. “Sasha, don’t just do that! You scared me!”

He mumbles, “I had a bad day.”

“...you did?” Your left hand cups his head, almost protectively, and your right strokes his back. “What happened? You’re not hurt, right? Are you hungry? I have some stuff in the fridge—”

“Can we just stay like this?” He asks.

“U-um. Well...” You must be thinking of your other roommates, who could walk in on this scene and “misunderstand” the relationship you have with him. You don’t want to cause weird rumors or tension. But he wants you so much he can’t pretend to be above it anymore. He squeezes you just a little bit, betraying his own desperation, so you say tenderly, “Of course we can.”

It’s scary to be honest. Sasha considers it contrary to his nature. However, he has never in his life avoided adapting or transforming to get what he wants. If he has to bare himself again to endear himself to you, he’ll do it.

“You’re the best friend I have,” he admits, “and I didn’t see you all day, and I missed you.”

Your heart quickens. “Sasha…”

“I know I’m being clingy. I just can’t help it. Say you missed me too. Say I matter to you.”

“I did miss you,” you murmur, your smile bleeding into your voice. You pull him closer. “It feels wrong when we don’t talk all day. And I worry about you, you know. I never see you make a proper meal.”

“I like it better when you make it. So keep cooking for me. Please.”

“I was going to do that anyway,” you say.

His whole body thrums with satisfaction. You care about him so much he can feel it all the way through. He’s soaking up your warmth and savoring your smell, face pressed into your neck. Twisting his hands into your shirt, he finds that he resents your clothes. He even resents your flesh and bones for barring direct access to your heart. Right now, though, he’s almost content with a body in his grasp, a pulse fluttering under his lips.

God help him, he’s been starving for this.

[apoloadonisandnarcissus]

Let’s Talk Galadriel Heartbreak in Season 2

Am I the only one who thinks her whole vibe about “Halbrand is Sauron” in Season 2 was way too over the top for the interactions we were shown back in Season 1 and for something merely platonic?

First, we can’t analyze Galadriel and Halbrand’s interactions with “shipper goggles” on. We have to be unbiased, here. And the truth is: we have enormous plot holes, and many things that just don’t add up. This makes us wonder/theorize what happened off-screen between Galadriel and Halbrand back in Season 1.

Not to upset my fellow shippers (you know how passionate I am about Galadriel x Sauron to the point I was accused of being delusional), but we didn’t see any interaction between Galadriel and Halbrand in Season 1 that could explain the seven stages of grief that Galadriel went through in Season 2.

They flirted, shared stares and the “I’ve felt it too” scene, and then Halbrand was revealed to be Sauron. And that’s it. We saw him as friends, basically. The argument that “Elves feel everything more deeply” is kind of weak when we look at the full picture.

Galadriel behavior in Season 2 wasn’t “I fell in love with him and he lied”. Like at all. We saw her heartbroken, angry, desperate and tormented by her memories of Halbrand, and by being deceived. It was personal but was no longer about getting revenge for her brother’s death; she wanted revenge because she got played.

1) Galadriel tried, at all costs, to keep Halbrand’s true identity hidden from everyone else

First, she allowed the Three Elven rings of power to be made. She tells Celebrimbor not to deal with Halbrand anymore, but provides no explanation (endangering him in the process). And clearly Celebrimbor himself doesn’t take her warning seriously, because he allows Halbrand to return to Eregion forge.

Then, she literally hunted down Elrond all the way back to Lindon. Why? Probably because she didn’t want Gil-galad and Elrond himself to find out that Halbrand was actually Sauron. And the question here is: why?

Was it only because she was humiliated and her pride was wounded for not “being strong enough” and allowed herself to be deceived (like she tells Celebrimbor in 2x07)? Or is there another reason for this behavior? Because we did see Galadriel lying left and right in Season 2, to hide the truth of her connection to Sauron. He promised you an army? Not even Adar believed that.

Besides, Sauron is known as “the great deceiver”, after all. Gil-galad is pissed but he doesn’t hold it against Galadriel, too much. I think he’s more upset by her disobeying his order to return to Valinor than anything else. Sure he doesn’t allow her to command the mission to Eregion, but he is concerned she might be susceptible to deception, again, after all. And that’s the reason why he appointed Elrond as the commander. No one holds Celebrimbor accountable because he got deceived by Sauron. So; what does Galadriel have to hide?

2) Galadriel was obsessed in meeting and fighting Sauron alone

This was Galadriel’s main drive in Season 2: find Sauron and kill him. All by herself. She bitterly joins Elrond & co, but goes rogue when she gets the chance.

However, she is worried about what may happened if she does meet Sauron alone, but that fear doesn’t stop her, anyway. Which makes me ask, again: why? What does she have to hide?

3) Galadriel and Adar: the meeting of the exes

Galadriel is unwilling to face Sauron alongside her Elf companions. However, she is prepared to do it alongside Adar, in 2x08. Which is interesting, because Adar himself was also played by Sauron, his revenge is also personal, and they already overshared with each other in 2x06.

Adar and Galadriel share a mutual understanding of Sauron and his seductive ways. In a way, Adar is the only character with whom Galadriel can relate in this matter. And that’s probably why she’s willing to actually join him to destroy Sauron.

Galadriel and Adar's “wine and dine” in 2x06 was, pretty much, them being the bitter exes crying at each other’s shoulder because they got played by the same fuckboy (Sauron). That was the subtext of that scene. Adar was clearly in love with Sauron, too.

This makes me wonder: why is Galadriel saying life without Halbrand has been a “dull gray”, exactly? Because, back in Season 1, Halbrand was always pretty moody and angsty, except when he was at the forges working (both in Númenor and Eregion, with Celebrimbor). Him smithing was the happiest we saw him, then.

4) Galadriel's reactions in her fight with Sauron

When Sauron arrives and says her name, Galadriel is absolutely terrified. To the point she actually freezes on the spot and is unable to move. Why? We know she’s not afraid of Sauron, come on. She is so scared because she’s afraid he might still be on Halbrand form. And she doesn’t know how she would react to that.

Luckily for her, he isn’t. He is on Annatar form, and she doesn’t have a connection to it. Still, she’s only able to attack him when he had his back turn on her, and she is not able to see his face, anymore.

This point is made clear when Sauron shapeshifts into Halbrand, and she’s unable to continue the fight:

This is clearly a reaction of “oh, look, the friend I was in love with platonically”. That’s why she’s crying, and hurt and with this look of betrayal on her face, I guess.

Does Elrond know something we don’t?

Elrond was at Eregion the entire time, and he was the one who found Galadriel on the Glanduin, and she's a wreck:

Elrond later finds the scroll with the Southlands bloodline and puts two and two together (Halbrand lied about his identity), however, it was only in 2x01 that he discovers that he was actually Sauron in disguise, when Galadriel is forced to reveal it to him, and to Gil-galad.

And his first reaction is odd: “How could you?” And he’s pissed. Not “Gil-galad pissed”. But actually, outraged by the whole thing, which again, is strange because Sauron is the “great deceiver”, after all. Everyone knows this: Sauron deceives, that’s his deal. Why is Elrond so vexed at Galadriel?

And he’ll keep on rubbing it on her face, throughout the first episodes of Season 2, and all of this seems to have some sort of double meaning:

Galadriel: Sauron used me. And under his hand, I was played like a harp to a melody not of my choosing. Elrond: It was entirely of your choosing. Sauron looked inside you, plucked the very song of your soul, note by note, making himself out to be exactly what you needed. "The Lost King" who could ride you to victory. You gave him everything he wanted and then thanked him for it. Rings of Power, 2x02

How did Galadriel “thank” Sauron for giving her everything he wanted? What does this mean? What does Elrond know? 

When did Galadriel ever “let Sauron in”, exactly? Because in Season 1 they were merely friends and she resisted his offer at the end. Because she “felt it too”? But we didn’t see her acting on feelings, right? So this doesn’t make any sense.

I know many in our fandom have this headcanon of a kiss (or more) happening in Númenor, but I don’t think so. If any kissing happened off-screen it had to be after the “I’ve felt it too” scene, and not before. This leaves their time together in Eregion as the only possible option, here.

We don’t know for how long Galadriel and Halbrand were there together in Eregion; only that Gil-galad gave Celebrimbor “three weeks” to test his theory (craft an object that could save the Elves on Middle-earth), and that Sauron worked there “for weeks” (according to Elrond in 2x01).

The only argument against this possibility is that Galadriel started to suspect Halbrand could be Sauron. Which leads me to the next point:

The Halbrand = Sauron reveal in 1x08

Everyone assumes that Galadriel starts to suspect that Halbrand might be Sauron in disguise after she hears Celebrimbor saying “a power over flesh”. But is this true?

The episode itself framed it this way because they wanted to build up the big “he is Sauron” reveal, however we have clues in the episode itself that contradict this. Namely how shocked Galadriel was when Halbrand revealed to be Sauron himself.

She was in denial when Halbrand said “I told you I found it on a dead man.”, and tried to racionalize everything that went down between them, like him saving her on the raft, him fighting beside her against Adar, etc. She couldn’t bring herself to believe it, at first. Odd if she was so certain he was Sauron all along.

Galadriel started to suspect Halbrand was hiding his true identity (he might not be the heir to the throne of the Southlands) and that he could have a hidden motive in Eregion, yes. But why does this immediately equals her suspecting him to be Sauron in “fair form”, exactly?

Sauron is ancient and known for being a powerful sorcerer, cunning and cruel, yes. But he was also Morgoth’s chief lieutenant and sucessor, and Galadriel herself believed he was still out there, gathering strength, and followers to raise to power, again. Would Galadriel actually believe that a powerful and mighty being (super villain level) like Sauron would ever present himself as a mere “low man” (heir to a throne or not)? I don’t think so. Sauron is way too vain and arrogant to allow himself to be humiliated at every turn, and this could have been Galadriel’s way of thinking, as well.

My interpretation is that Galadriel suspected that Halbrand could be a Sauron loyalist (like Waldreg), and even working for Sauron (double agent), and not that he was Sauron himself. Why?

1) Sauron is Morgoth’s sucessor, and the Southlanders made blood oaths to Morgoth in the past.

This would make sense with the entire Southlands plot in Season 1, actually; we’ve seen how the Elves were so against the Southlanders because they sided with Morgoth, that they had to keep an eye on them for centuries. We saw this in Arondir scenes from 1x01: But the Men who live here have not [changed]. The blood of those who stood with Morgoth still darkens their veins.

2) Everyone loves to bring up Galadriel’s pride and royal lineage except in this case. Deep down Galadriel could have a intuition that “Halbrand = Sauron”, but I don’t think her pride would allow her to believe she had romantic feelings for Sauron himself (at that point), and she had two-three weeks time to racionalize her options. Besides, this was her main conflict in Season 2, not in 1x08.

This would also make sense with what Elrond said in 2x01:

However, and even if she had her suspicions, she also had time to brush it off, especially because she was in love with him. In 1x06, Halbrand shows up when Galadriel is about to kill Adar. This was after the scene where Adar talks about Sauron’s plans of “a power over flesh”. Meaning: Halbrand was nearby and could overheard Adar saying it. Maybe he talked about it with Celebrimbor for some reason. When people are trying to cope with unpleasant truths and are in denial, they come up with every sort of weird excuses.

This would also make sense with her scene with Celebrimbor in 2x07:

Galadriel is agreeing with everything Celebrimbor is saying here. “I blinded myself to what he was”. When did Galadriel “blinded” herself to what Halbrand was? Because this scene connects with Elrond’s in 2x01 (“you were blind”). The whole “King of the Southlands” plot was Galadriel’s idea, in the first place, and Halbrand reluctantly agreed to it: so that’s not the “being blind” bit. Again, a lot doesn’t add up here.

Galadriel could only have, truly, blinded herself to what Halbrand was while they were at Eregion, and she started to suspect him.  

And this line makes Galadriel extremely angry and explosive:

What is Sauron talking about here, exactly? The power of his gaze? Their stare competition? Because that’s all we saw back in Season 1. 

“The door is shut” is Galadriel saying: “f*ck you, you lying piece of sh*t, scumbag! You used me and deceived me (“Sauron used me. And under his hand, I was played like a harp to a melody not of my choosing.”)!”

Are you familiar with Fleetwood Mac hit song “Dreams”? “Players only love you when they're playing”? Yeah, that’s the vibe I’m getting from this scene.  

In short: there is no way all of this is because “Elves emotions are very strong”, or Haladriel was platonic, or the interactions we saw in Season 1 was all that happened between Galadriel and Halbrand/Sauron. Something physical (a kiss or else) did happened between these two off-screen: that’s the only rational explanation for all of this.