#they got me hormone level tests

[theeretblr]

I am holding so much gender in my hand right now

I'm not starting them just yet, there are some tests and fertility preservation things I've got to do first, but I now have Estrogen! I've been debating getting this for like 4-5 years, I may decide it's not for me after I start. I am still genderqueer/genderfluid and I still use any pronouns. I'm not taking T blockers yet either. We'll see how it goes! :)

If you are wanting to start HRT, I highly recommend Folx. I signed up with them, booked an appointment with a Doctor, and had a prescription for Estrogen within a week! Check them out: https://www.folxhealth.com/

[authorityissues]

*howling in pain* trying to get back on T and I know with words that it always takes longer than you think it's going to take but the longer than I thought it was going to take officially hit agony

[sunwoniie]

KID

Summary : You discover that you're pregnant while on a mission on a completely different planet in another galaxy, and the father is your captain, Han Yun Jae.

Pairing: Captain!Han Yun Jae x reader

Warnings : suggestive, age gap, pregnancy, enemies to lovers

You placed the blood sample into the self-analysis machine and pressed the button to start the process. Your eyes darted around the room as you anxiously checked for any signs of someone approaching while the machine worked. 

It’s been about three months since you left Earth, bound for another planet to explore, test, and determine if it could sustain human life. Every two years, teams like yours are sent on eight-month missions to scout new worlds. The organization dispatches countless teams across the galaxy to increase humanity’s chances of finding a suitable home. 

The machine beeped, signaling that the results were ready. It started printing, the faint sound of ink being laid on the paper filling the room. Nervously, you bit your thumbnail, your eyes flickering around as you waited. The moment it finished, you snatched the sheet, your hands trembling as you scanned the results frantically. 

beta-hCG hormone: 11,233 mIU/mL. 

Fuck. 

You see, the beta-hCG hormone determines if a woman is pregnant. Levels below 5 mIU/mL indicate no pregnancy, but anything above that confirms it. Beta-hCG levels double every 48 to 72 hours, which also helps estimate how far along the pregnancy is. 

You are roughly three months pregnant. 

How had you missed the signs for three whole months? you kept blaming the vomiting, mood swings, headaches, missed periods, and cravings on the stress of being in space. It all seemed so obvious now. 

You pulled out your vitals smartwatch to update your status, indicating your pregnancy so it wouldn’t send you period reminders. As you filled out the prompts, answering the usual medical questions, you froze at the final one. 

What date do you think you became pregnant? 

The words stared back at you, and you stopped breathing. Slowly, you navigated to the calendar and selected the date—the night you made a huge mistake. The night you slept with your captain, Han Yun Jae. The man you couldn’t stand. And who couldn’t stand you. 

It happened the night before the mission began. The team had decided to drink together in his office as a farewell to Earth. you had a few drinks, and soon enough, you was blurting out stupid things. 

Everyone else had already left. you was the only one still there, struggling to stay upright. you tried to push yourself to your feet but ended up leaning heavily against the wall for support as you made your way to the door. Yun Jae, meanwhile, was tidying up, collecting the empty bottles when he turned and noticed you crash to the floor. 

He laughed. 

Groaning against the cold, hard surface, you muttered, “Ajhussi, it’s not funny. Why are you laughing?” you tried to push yourself up but barely managed to lift your upper half. 

“I give up,” you mumbled, flopping onto your back. “I’m sleeping here.” Covering your eyes with your arm to block the soft ceiling light, you got ready to pass out on the floor. 

“No, you’re not,” Yun Jae said, clearly unimpressed as he continued cleaning his desk. 

“Pretty sure I am,” you retorted, your words slurring. “Could you pass me a blanket? That would be so sweet of you—for once.” 

You heard his footsteps approach and felt his shadow fall over you. 

“Y/N, get up,” he ordered, his tone exasperated. 

“You had a chance to be sweet, and you blew it,” you said, stubbornly refusing to move. 

He crouched down beside you. “Y/N, get up,” he repeated, but you ignored him, lying there defiantly. 

“Maybe that’s why you’re still single at fifty,” you muttered, shooting him a smug grin. 

“I’m thirty-nine,” he snapped. 

“Same thing. You’re old,” you teased, earning a heavy sigh of frustration from him. 

“Y/N,” he said again, his voice taking on an edge of irritation. 

You finally lifted your arm from your eyes and glanced at him with a smirk. “Ajhussi~,” you sang in a playful, whining tone. 

“Last warning,” he growled. 

“You sound like my dad,” you said with a laugh, enjoying his growing frustration. 

“Maybe that’s because you’re acting like a child,” he shot back sharply. 

The smile fell from your face, replaced by a frown. “Stop calling me a kid,” you said firmly, your brows furrowing. “I’m almost thirty. I’m not a kid anymore.” 

“Then get up,” he challenged. 

You stubbornly turned your head away from him. “I can’t,” you mumbled, your voice tinged with something almost pitiful. 

For a moment, there was silence. Then, without warning, you felt his arm slide beneath your knees and another under your back. 

“What are you doing?” you asked as he lifted you effortlessly off the floor. 

“Taking you to your room,” he replied gruffly. 

You didn’t argue. you let him carry you down the hallway, though he nearly dropped you a couple of times—he was drunk too. When you reached your room, he set you down so you could unlock the door. you fumbled for your keys, but your vision blurred. Bending down to meet the lock’s height, you tried again, only for the key to fall from your shaking hand. 

“Fuck,” you muttered, straightening up too quickly. The dizziness hit you like a wave, and you swayed, trying to regain your balance. 

Yun Jae sighed, picked up the keys, and opened the door himself. He tossed the keys onto the counter inside, then stood there, holding the door open with an irritated expression. He was clearly eager to get this over with and go to bed. 

“Thank you very much, ajhussi,” you said sarcastically, bowing in mock gratitude. 

As you bent forward, you nearly lost your balance again, pitching toward the floor. Yun Jae caught you at the last second, groaning in frustration. 

“What a dumb woman,” he muttered, hauling you upright by my forearm and steadying you with a hand on you waist. 

He guided you toward the bed, but just as he was about to set you down, you tripped over an empty sample container. Instinctively, you grabbed onto him for support—and dragged him down with you. 

He falls on top of you. 

He's heavy, but not unbearable. His face is only inches away from mine, close enough that you can feel the warmth of his breath. For a moment, neither of you moves. It’s like time itself has frozen, holding you in this strange, uncomfortable limbo. 

“Y/N,” he mutters, his voice low and strained, though whether it’s from anger or something else, you can’t tell. 

“What?” you whispered back, my voice barely audible. 

His eyes lock onto mine, sharp and focused despite the haze of alcohol clouding both your senses. you can’t bring yourself to look away, even though your heart is racing, pounding so hard that you are sure he can hear it. 

“You… are such a pain in the ass,” he says, his tone half-annoyed, half-something-else. 

“And you’re—” Your retort dies in my throat as his gaze drops to my lips. 

The air between you shifts, suddenly thick with tension. Your breathing quickens as you realize he hasn’t moved away yet. Instead, he’s still hovering over you, his weight pressing you slightly into the bed. 

“You should get off me,” you manage to say, though my voice lacks conviction. 

He doesn’t respond right away. Instead, his lips twitch, almost like he’s fighting some internal battle. “You’re right,” he finally says, but he doesn’t move. His voice is quieter now, almost a whisper. “I should.” 

But he doesn’t. 

Instead, his hand, still gripping your arm for balance, softens its hold. His thumb brushes against your skin, sending a jolt through your entire body. you hate the way your stomach flips at the contact, hate the way your heart seems to betray you by beating even faster. 

“Yun Jae,” you say, but it comes out weaker than you intend. 

And then, before you can say anything else, his lips crash into mine. 

It’s not soft or tentative; it’s desperate, rough, and filled with the kind of frustration that’s been building between you for months. you freeze for a second, your brain scrambling to catch up with what’s happening. But then, without thinking, you kiss him back. 

The alcohol has dulled your inhibitions, but it’s not just that. There’s something raw and undeniable about this moment, about him. All the bickering, all the glares and sharp words, it all feels like it’s been leading to this. 

His hand moves to your waist, gripping tightly as if to ground himself. you find yourself pulling him closer, fingers tangling in his shirt as the kiss deepens. For once, we’re not fighting—at least, not with words. 

The night blurs after that. The tension, the anger, the alcohol—it all swirls together, igniting something we’ve both been too stubborn to acknowledge. 

You stare at the screen in front of you, your vitals smartwatch blinking its persistent question: 

What date do you think you became pregnant? 

Your fingers hover over the calendar, hesitating as the memories rush back. That night, so long ago but still so vivid. The way his lips pressed against mine, the heat of his hands against your skin, the way you gave in to something you both swore you hated. 

You press the date, and the screen logs it with an impersonal beep. The action feels like a release, but it only brings more questions, more weight. 

Do you wish to notify the captain? 

You let out a hollow laugh, though there's nothing remotely funny about it. Notify the captain. As if that wouldn’t open a floodgate of complications. How could you possibly tell him that one moment of weakness has brought you to this point? 

My hand hovers over the screen, your mind racing with indecision. But before you can decide, the sound of approaching footsteps pulls you from your thoughts. My heart lurches, and you quickly shove the device into your pocket, forcing a calm expression as the door slides open. 

There he is—Han Yun Jae. Cold, unapproachable, and as sharp as ever. His eyes meet mine, and you wonder, just for a fleeting moment, if he can see it in your face, if he can tell what’s between us. 

"Y/N," he says curtly. "We’re heading out for another exploration." 

You nod, trying to suppress the flutter in your chest. "Of course." 

He steps closer, his presence dominating the room. The tension from that night still hangs thick in the air, unspoken, unresolved. And though he doesn’t know it yet, you can’t shake the fear that everything is about to change. 

“We need to leave soon,” he continues, his tone impassive, his eyes scanning the equipment scattered around the room. you envy his ability to keep his composure, his ability to seem unaffected. You feel like you are on the edge of breaking, but you can’t let him see it. Not now. 

"Right," you say, trying to steady my voice. "I’ll be ready in a minute." 

You grab your gear, moving quickly, gathering the essentials for today’s exploration. We’re on a breathable planet, so you don’t need much—just the basics: a scanner, sample containers, a few tools for analysis. It should be a straightforward mission. But everything feels off today. 

As you adjust your pack, you feel the familiar nausea begin to churn in your stomach again. It’s not as intense as it could be, but it’s enough to make your head spin. A wave of dizziness threatens to knock you off balance, but you keep moving. you can’t afford to look weak. 

We head out to begin the survey of the planet. The bright sun glints off the barren landscape, but you can barely focus on the view. Yun Jae leads the way, as always, with his confident stride and cold, calculating gaze. 

You follow, but every step feels heavier today. My thoughts keep drifting back to the life growing inside you, the life that you still haven’t told him about. you won’t—not like this. Not when the tension between you is still so thick, so unresolved. 

The exploration continues, though it’s more difficult than usual. You are exhausted—physically, mentally. My body feels like it’s betraying you. you keep trying to hide it, but the pallor of your skin, the way your movements seem slower, doesn’t go unnoticed. 

“Y/N, you’re okay?” Ha-neul, one of the engineers, asks as she glances at you. 

You offer another tight smile, masking the fatigue and nausea swirling inside you. “I’m fine.” 

But Ha-neul doesn’t buy it. She knows you too well. 

We continue, and as you near the edge of a cliff to take a sample from a distant ridge, Yun Jae pauses and turns to you, his eyes glinting with that familiar authoritative gleam. 

“We need to get a sample from that ridge,” he says, pointing to the jagged rocky formation. 

“Yeah, on it,” you reply, starting to walk toward it. But before you take more than a few steps, you catch him watching me—his gaze lingering on my face, his expression tight with what looks like worry. 

He holds up a hand, stopping you in your tracks. “Wait. You stay here and keep an eye on the equipment.” 

You clench your teeth, holding back the sharp retort that rises to your lips. “Why do you always assume I can’t handle it?” 

He doesn’t look at you but responds in that cold, condescending tone that always sends a rush of heat to your face. 

“Because you still act like a kid who doesn’t know how to do anything. You get distracted, and you can’t afford to babysit you.” that was just an excuse covering the fact that he was worry at you state just by one look at your face but you didn’t need to know that. 

My heart lurches, and before you can stop myself, the words spill out. 

“I’m not a kid!” you snapped, my voice sharper and louder than you intended. The words hung in the air, heavy with frustration and unspoken meaning. “I’m twenty-eight, for God’s sake! Stop treating me like some helpless child.” 

You turned to face him fully, your glare unwavering as you continued. “I get that being ancient must make you think everyone younger than you need to be babysat, but guess what? I don’t. I’m capable, and I’ve been handling things on my own for a long time now.” 

You noticed the silence that followed your outburst, the kind that was too heavy to ignore. Slowly, your eyes drifted past Han Yun Jae to the rest of the crew standing a few feet away. Their faces were pressed with a mix of concern and curiosity, clearly having heard every word. 

Some of them exchanged awkward glances, unsure whether to intervene or pretend they hadn’t just witnessed you snap. Others avoided eye contact entirely, their focus suddenly absorbed by the dirt beneath their boots. 

Heat rushed to your face as you realized the spectacle I’d just created. My hands clenched at your sides, embarrassment and anger bubbling together. you turned away from Yun Jae and the crew, your voice quieter but no less firm as you muttered, “This conversation is over.” 

Without another word, you walked off, ignoring the weight of their stares as you walked to get the samples. 

My footsteps crunch over the rocky terrain as you make your way toward the ridge, your breath shallow and uneven. you feel the weight of their eyes on your back—on both Yun Jae and you. But you don’t care. you can’t care anymore. 

You are not a kid. You are not the same person you was when you first met him, when you used to argue over everything like it was your only language. He might still see you as that naive child, but you are not. you won’t let him define you anymore. 

The harsh wind stings your skin as you reach the base of the ridge, your hands shaking as you adjust the sample container. you glance over your shoulder briefly, your mind still tangled with everything that’s happened. And, of course, Yun Jae is standing there, watching you with that cold, calculating gaze, his posture rigid as if waiting for you to make a mistake. 

You can’t stand it. 

You remember the first time you met him. you was just a kid—barely out of childhood, if I’m being honest—and he was always there. Always around because of your father. Han Yun Jae wasn’t just your father’s protégé; he was almost like a shadow. Quiet, intense, and seemingly perfect in everything he did. 

My father had always insisted that Yun Jae was a brilliant mind, someone who could shape the future of your father’s work, someone who deserved the respect of everyone around him. But you never saw him that way. 

To you, he was just your father’s trainee who treated you like you was beneath him. He never smiled, never showed anything that resembled warmth, and he always treated you like an inconvenience. A distraction. 

You hated that. you hated the way he looked at you with cold indifference, as if you was just a little girl who didn’t understand the world around you. He’d always brush you off, belittle your attempts to prove myself. At first, it was almost funny—his condescension was so obvious—but as you got older, it started to gnaw at you. you wanted to prove him wrong. you wanted to show him that you was more than just a child, that you could handle things on your own. 

But every time you tried, he pushed you further away. His icy demeanor only seemed to grow colder, and his words became sharper. 

“Don’t be so naive, Y/N,” he’d say, his voice always so cold and clipped. “You’ll never be able to understand. Stay out of it.” 

And you listened to him. you listened because he was older, because he had always been the smart one, the disciplined one. you was just the spoiled little girl of his mentor. 

But something changed after you hit your late teens. The more you pushed back, the more things began to shift. What started as petty bickering turned into real animosity. The tension between you grew, and your arguments became sharper, more cutting. There was no longer any pretense of camaraderie between us. you hated him. And somewhere, buried deep within his cold, emotionless exterior, you began to feel like he hated you too. 

It wasn’t just the typical friction of youth anymore. It became personal. It was as if he saw you as nothing more than an obstacle—a nuisance to be dealt with, nothing more.  

And as you continue collecting the sample, you can feel the weight of his presence behind you, but it doesn’t feel quite as suffocating as before. 

A few days later, after hours spent scanning and collecting samples, your head was spinning, and your body felt like it was on the verge of shutting down. Exhaustion and nausea clawed at you, and you wasn’t sure how much longer you could keep pretending you were fine. Because you weren't. 

You silently prayed you could hold on until you reached the base. Pressing a hand to your stomach, you tried to steady the roiling turmoil inside you. 

“You look like you’re about to collapse,” Ha-neul said, her voice cutting through the haze clouding my thoughts. “Are you sure you’re okay?” she asked as you finally stepped through the base doors. 

You waved her off, forcing a smile. “I’m fine, just a little tired. I’ll rest soon.” 

You made your way to your quarters, your stomach churning with every step. As soon as you were inside, you rushed to the small bathroom. The door clicked shut behind you, and you barely had time to close your eyes before the nausea hit full force. 

You kneeled in front of the toilet, your body jerking with each wave of sickness. My stomach emptied itself, the bitter taste of bile rising in your throat. you couldn't stop it. It felt like it went on forever. 

After what felt like an eternity, you finally pulled yourself together enough to sit back on your heels, your mouth dry and your face pale. you took a few shallow breaths, trying to steady myself. Your mind was spinning—sick, tired, and overwhelmed by the weight of everything that had happened, everything that was happening. 

You stood, hands shaking, and rinsed your mouth with water, trying to rid yourself of the horrible taste. Reaching for your toothbrush and toothpaste, you began brushing your teeth automatically, trying to focus on something, anything, other than the racing thoughts in your head. 

It was then that you saw him. 

He was standing in the doorway behind you, his arms crossed, watching you through the mirror. you froze for a split second, your breath catching in your throat. you hadn’t heard him approach, hadn’t noticed him at all. He looked so out of place, his cold stare boring into you even as you tried to keep your composure. 

But you couldn’t. Your heart was pounding. Still, you refused to look at him directly. you kept your eyes on the mirror, focusing on the task at hand—brushing your teeth, pretending he wasn’t there. 

You felt the pressure of his gaze, but you couldn’t bring yourself to say anything. you just… kept brushing, as if you could make everything go away. 

Just as you was about to spit and rinse your mouth, his voice broke the silence. 

“Are you pregnant?” 

His words hit like a thunderclap, shocking you into stillness. you didn’t respond, not immediately. Your hand froze mid-rinse, and you had to fight to steady myself, your thoughts racing. 

He was right. Something was off. But you couldn’t let him know that. 

You finished rinsing, washing your mouth quickly as you replaced the toothpaste and toothbrush. 

The silence between you thickened. He was still standing there, his posture unchanged, arms crossed over his chest. His gaze never wavered, and you could feel his eyes burning into the back of your neck. 

You turned slowly to face him, forcing a neutral expression, but inside, you were panicking. He was so close now. Too close. Your chest tightened with the sudden proximity. 

“What makes you think that?” you asked, trying to keep your tone casual, even though your heart was hammering in your chest. 

His eyes flickered with a slight, cold amusement. “You’ve been acting strange lately. More tired, more nauseous. The way you keep your distance when food comes around… You’ve been avoiding things, avoiding people. And the way you pale when you're on your feet too long—it all points in one direction." 

you laughed—too sharply, too quickly. “I’m just tired. You know, long missions and all that.” 

He raised an eyebrow, his expression unwavering. “And the fact that your periods haven’t come for 3 months? That’s just… coincidence?” 

You froze, your breath catching in your throat. you couldn’t hide the shock in your eyes fast enough. “How do you know that?” you said, your voice betraying you with a slight quiver. 

Yun Jae’s gaze hardened, but he didn’t break eye contact. “I have my ways.” 

You backed away slightly, your heart racing, your mouth suddenly dry. "That's creepy," you muttered, trying to brush past him. you just needed to get out of there, away from his scrutiny. 

But before you could even turn the door handle, his voice stopped you in your tracks. “You didn’t respond.” you look at him but you turned back to the door, your hand on the handle, but before you could open it fully, he stepped forward, blocking your way. you didn’t look up at him, but his presence was suffocating. 

He leaned in, his voice lower now, the sharp edge gone. “You didn’t answer me.” he repeated in an irritated tone. 

You didn’t have the strength to fight him anymore. Your body was exhausted, your mind overwhelmed, and you just wanted to escape—escape this situation, escape him, escape the uncertainty swirling inside you. 

You met his eyes, standing tall despite the shakiness you felt inside. “You already know the answer.”the words coming out colder than you intended. 

Yun Jae’s gaze softened just a fraction, but the icy wall was still there, still firmly in place. He didn’t respond, but his silence spoke volumes. 

And with that, you pushed past him, opening the door and stepping out into the hallway, the cool metal of the ship offering no comfort anymore. you couldn’t let him get to you. Not now. Not when everything felt like it was spiraling out of control. 

But as you walked away, you couldn’t shake the feeling that things were about to get a whole lot more complicated. 

Days turned into weeks, and you avoided Yun Jae like the plague. you couldn’t face him—not after that conversation. Every meal became a calculated maneuver to dodge him. you either skipped eating entirely, braving the gnawing hunger, or grabbed your plate and retreated to your room or the lab. The smells of food only worsened the nausea, and you didn’t want him—or anyone else—noticing your discomfort. 

But no matter how much you tried to act like nothing was wrong, you could feel the truth pressing against you, literally. Your body was changing. Your bump was small but undeniable now, a subtle curve that you could no longer ignore. you started wearing baggier clothes, anything to keep it hidden. Yet you knew this wasn’t a problem you could cover up forever. 

Late at night, when you was alone in your quarters, the weight of it all would crush you. You would sit on the edge of your bed, your hands trembling as they rested on your growing belly. A part of you wanted to reject it, deny what was happening. But the fluttering beneath your fingers was impossible to ignore. A tiny life was growing inside you, and it terrified you. 

You found yourself crying more often than you cared to admit. Silent, muffled sobs into your pillow as you thought about everything you would imagined for your first child. You'd always pictured being married, having a partner by your side, someone you could lean on when things got tough. you thought about warm nurseries, family gatherings, and laughter. Not this—being stranded on a distant planet, surrounded by cold metal walls, with the father of your child barely able to tolerate you. 

The thought of Yun Jae made the tears come harder. you didn’t want to admit it, but a part of you had always cared about his opinion, even when you claimed to hate him. And now, the idea of raising this child alone, of carrying this weight by myself, was unbearable 

The days blurred together, and you kept your distance from Yun Jae. you didn’t start conversations—not with him. When he spoke to you, it was only about the mission. 

When it came to meals, you continued your routine of avoidance. The smells in the mess hall used to turn your stomach, but now that you was in your second trimester, your nausea had finally eased. you started enjoying food again—more than you ever had before. you were eating everything in sight. Still, you couldn’t bring yourself to sit with the crew. You’d grab your plate and retreat to your room or the lab. It was better than facing Yun Jae’s gaze, which had changed in ways you couldn’t understand. 

You’d catch him looking at you, his dark eyes fixed on you from across the room. It wasn’t the usual cold glare. There was something else there—concern, maybe. Worry? you wasn’t sure. All you knew was that it made your skin crawl. It made you feel exposed, like he could see everything you were trying so hard to hide. 

The lab was eerily quiet after everyone left. you worked in silence, the hum of machinery and the occasional beep from the scanner your only companions. It was better this way—being alone. you could focus on your work without the weight of their stares or the hushed conversations that sometimes carried your name when they thought you weren't listening. 

Before leaving, Ha-neul had paused by your workstation, her gaze lingering with concern. 

“Y/N, do you want me to bring you a plate?” she asked, her voice gentle but persistent. 

“I’m not hungry,” you replied curtly, not looking up from my work. 

She hesitated but eventually nodded, joining the others as they filed out of the lab. The door hissed shut behind them, and you sighed, grateful for the solitude. 

Minutes passed, maybe longer. you was deep in analysis, your hands deftly adjusting the settings on the equipment, when the door opened again. you ignored it, assuming someone had forgotten something. 

It wasn’t until a plate slid onto the desk beside you that you stopped. 

You blinked at it, the steam from the food curling up in delicate tendrils. Slowly, you lifted your head, your eyes meeting Yun Jae’s. He stood there, his expression unreadable, though there was a flicker of worry in his usually sharp features. In his other hand, he held a second plate—his own, you assumed. 

“Eat,” he said simply, his tone firm but not unkind. 

“I’m not hungry,” you shot back, your voice colder than you intended. You turned my attention back to my work, determined to ignore him. 

But then, as if on cue, your stomach betrayed you with a loud, unmistakable growl. 

You froze, heat creeping up your neck. 

When you glanced back at him, he was smirking faintly, the corner of his mouth tugged up in amusement. Without a word, he sat down beside you, placing his own plate on the desk and beginning to eat, his movements unhurried. 

“Eat,” he repeated, pushing your plate closer to you. 

You scowled, reluctant but too hungry to argue with your body. Picking up a fork, you took a small bite, chewing slowly as you tried to focus back on your work. 

“What are you doing here?” you asked after a moment, your tone flat as you glanced at him. 

“I want to talk,” he replied, his focus seemingly on his food. 

“There’s nothing to talk about,” you said, taking another small bite, though your eyes never left the screen in front of you. 

He didn’t respond immediately, and for a while, the only sound between you was the scrape of utensils against plates. But you could feel his gaze on you, studying you like he was trying to piece together a puzzle. 

“Why are you avoiding me?” he said finally, his voice quieter but no less direct. 

You didn’t answer, refusing to look at him. 

“Why do you keep acting like this?” he pressed, his tone teetering between frustration and concern. 

“I’m not acting like anything,” you snapped, dropping your fork onto the plate with a clatter. “I’m working, Yun Jae. If you’re done eating, you can leave.” 

He exhaled sharply, leaning back in his chair. For a moment, you thought he might argue, but instead, he reached out and pushed his plate closer to mine, his movements slow and deliberate. 

“Eat,” he said again, his voice quieter now, almost gentle, as if he knew how close you were to snapping but didn’t want to push you further. 

Then, without another word, he stood and left the lab, the door hissing shut behind him. The sound lingered in the air, leaving an emptiness you couldn’t shake. 

You stared at the two plates of food in front of you, your appetite wavering despite the persistent gnawing in your stomach. His plate sat there, untouched except for the few bites he’d taken, a silent gesture that felt heavier than it should have. 

For a moment, you felt the weight of it all press down on me—the loneliness, the tension between you, the secret you were carrying that was slowly changing everything. My fingers tightened around the fork as you fought back the emotion rising in your chest. 

The food blurred in front of you, and you swallowed hard, forcing yourself to breathe. you hated this—hated how he always seemed to know when to show up, hated the way he lingered in your thoughts even when you wanted to forget him. Most of all, you hated the way his quiet actions, like leaving his plate behind, managed to make you feel so unsteady. 

Finally, you forced yourself to take another bite, chewing slowly as you tried to focus on the work in front of you. But no matter how much you tried to ignore it, the two plates beside each other felt like a conversation left unfinished, one that you wasn’t sure you was ready to have. 

The kitchen was dimly lit, the soft hum of the ship's systems the only sound in the background. you shuffled quietly, rubbing your eyes and trying not to make too much noise. Hunger clawed at you, relentless and impossible to ignore. Sleep wasn’t going to come until you satisfied it. 

After searching through the shelves, you finally found something that looked promising—a container of fruit, sealed tightly with a stubborn lid. you gripped it with both hands, bracing it against your body as you twisted, but it wouldn’t budge. Frustration built with each attempt, the hunger making your movements clumsier. 

Unbeknownst to you, Yun Jae had been there the whole time, leaning casually against the counter with his hands in his pockets. He watched silently as you struggled, his cold, observant gaze fixed on you. 

“Do you want some help?” his voice cut through the silence suddenly, calm and steady as always. 

The sound startled you so badly that the container slipped from your hands, hitting the floor with a loud clatter. My heart jumped, and you spun around to glare at him. 

“God, Yun Jae!” you hissed, clutching my chest as if that could steady my racing heart. 

He didn’t flinch, didn’t apologize for startling you. He just stood there, his expression unreadable as his eyes shifted briefly to the container on the floor. 

You stayed quiet, refusing to look at him directly. Instead, you bent down, picking up the container with shaky hands. Your face burned with embarrassment, but you ignored it, turning your back to him and trying once again to open the lid. 

It was no use. No matter how hard you tried, the lid wouldn’t move. And then, without realizing it, you felt the tears start to fall. 

At first, you didn’t notice them, too focused on your stubborn attempts to twist the lid. But soon, the drops blurred your vision, slipping down your cheeks faster than you could wipe them away. Your hands trembled as you tried to compose myself, but the harder you fought, the more the tears came. 

It wasn’t the lid. It wasn’t even the hunger. It was everything. The pregnancy, the isolation, the weight of being stranded on this alien planet. The fact that you were carrying this alone, with no one to lean on. 

Before you could spiral further, you felt strong arms wrap around you from behind, firm yet gentle. 

You froze, your breath hitching as Yun Jae carefully took the container from your hands and placed it on the counter nearby. Then, without a word, he pulled you closer, his arms circling you in a quiet but steady embrace. 

The warmth of his presence broke something in you. you let out a shuddering sob, your body trembling as the floodgates opened completely. 

“It’s okay,” he murmured, his voice low and calm as his hand came up to gently rub your arm. “Let it out.” 

His tone wasn’t soft or warm—he wasn’t the type—but there was something in his voice, a quiet steadiness, that made you feel like you didn’t have to hold everything together for once. 

He turned you around slowly, guiding you until your forehead was pressed against his chest. His hand slid to the small of your back, holding you close, while his other hand rested lightly on the back of your head, his fingers brushing through your hair. 

“You don’t have to do this alone,” he said, his words deliberate, almost hesitant. 

You didn’t respond, couldn’t. you just stayed there, your face buried in his chest as the tears came harder. 

He held you through it all, his hand moving gently along your back in a soothing rhythm. “Calm down,” he said quietly. “You’re okay. It’s going to be okay.” 

Minutes passed like this—his steady presence anchoring you as you slowly began to calm down. The tears slowed, your breathing evened out. you realized, almost absently, that your arms had wrapped around his torso, holding onto him without even thinking about it. 

When you finally pulled away, he let you go, though his hands lingered for a moment as if making sure you were steady. His eyes met yours, and for the first time, you saw something different in them—something softer, more vulnerable. 

“You’ve been holding this in for too long,” he said, his tone still calm but edged with something you couldn’t quite place. 

You wiped at your face, refusing to meet his gaze. “I don’t need your pity,” you muttered under your breath. 

“Gosh, Y/N, this isn’t pity,” he said, his tone calm but firm. “Why do you always have to be in denial?” 

Silence stretched between you before he broke it. 

“For twenty years, I’ve kept my distance,” he began, his voice quieter now. “Your father—he was the closest thing I had to a hero. He taught me everything, and when you joined the organization, I told myself I’d protect you. For him.” 

You glanced up at him, startled by the admission. He looked away briefly, as if uncomfortable with saying it aloud. 

“But I didn’t know how,” he continued, his voice steady again. “You were reckless, stubborn—always throwing yourself into danger without thinking.” 

You opened your mouth to argue, but he cut you off. 

“And I—” He hesitated, his jaw tightening. “I didn’t know how to handle it. Or you. You weren’t just some kid anymore. Not to me.” 

My breath caught, but you stayed silent, waiting for him to continue. 

“You were twenty when I started noticing,” he said, his tone cool but deliberate. “But you were too young, and I couldn’t—” He shook his head. “I couldn’t let myself feel that way. So I kept my distance. I thought it was better that way.” 

Confused by his words, you frowned. “Wait, I don’t understand. What are you trying to say?” 

He hesitated for a moment, looking away as if gathering his courage. When his eyes finally met yours again, they were filled with an intensity that made your breath catch. “I have feelings for you, Y/N,” he said, his voice low but steady. 

You froze, completely shocked by the confession. He continued, his words tumbling out as if they’d been bottled up for too long. “I started falling for you when you joined the organization. At first, it felt wrong—I thought I shouldn’t feel that way. So I tried to keep my distance, to be cold with you. You’re my mentor’s daughter, and you’re so much younger than me. I mean—I'm ancient, as you call me.” He chuckled softly, and despite myself, you found the corners of your mouth twitching upward. 

“And it’s true,” he added, his tone gentler now. “At times, I thought of you like a kid. I felt like I owed your father everything, and protecting you was my way of honoring him.” 

He paused, letting the weight of his words settle before he continued. “But you’re not a kid anymore.” His gaze held mine, steady and unflinching. “You’re a woman. And now…” His eyes flickered briefly to your stomach, his expression softening. “Now, you’re carrying a life.” 

Before you could respond, he turned, grabbed the container from the counter, and opened it effortlessly. He handed it back to you without a word, his expression unreadable. 

You took it, your back turning to him as you started eating quietly, savoring the fruit. But then, you felt his arms wrap around you again, this time from behind. 

His hand moved to rest gently on your belly, his fingers brushing against the curve. “It’s gotten big,” he said, his voice quieter now, almost contemplative. “How the hell have you been hiding this?” 

You laughed softly despite myself, shaking your head. “Baggy clothes.” 

His hand moved in slow, soothing circles, and for the first time, you let yourself relax into his touch. You stayed like that for a while, the silence between you comfortable and unspoken. Once you were done eating, and since neither of you could sleep, you wandered to the balcony. 

You sat there until sunrise, talking about everything—the baby, potential names, your relationship.  

For the first time, you didn’t feel like he was treating you like a kid. 

[i-cant-sing]

cursed thought that came to mind: yknow how in yandere overhaul fics, they always talk about how he'd prioritise your health over everything? i mean, he's taking blood samples weekly, doing clinical examinations to find any "abnormality", keeping tabs on ur vitals, etc. he probably tests ur hormone levels, maybe even check ur scalp for- anything really- lice, cysts, etc.

ofc, this means he'll be closely monitoring your diet too right? gotta make sure u are getting all the nutrients and stuff. probably starts u on a healthy, high fibre diet too. and that got me thinking....

there's obviously cameras in ur room right? he's watching u 24/7, u know that. what u dont know is... well those are not just normal cameras, they're... infrared cameras.

why does he have these thermal cameras? probably wanted to know if ur body temperature is normal or varying too much. and these cameras detect different zones of heat in the body.

but u know what else emits heat and shows up on the cameras?

farts.

and since overhaul has u on this good healthy diet, probably even makes u exercise, well- ur gut has never been healthier, which means you pass intestinal gases pretty regularly. and the thing is, u dont get to go to the toilet whenever u feel the need to go-no, no. theres a schedule for bathroom and if u abuse it by going in to release ur farts, you'd probably make him worry about u having a UTI or something. its not like he can make u stop. why would he, when it is a perfectly normal human function and he should NOT feel disgusted by it- what do u mean why is he wearing a hazmat suit?

see now, this is his next project. once he's done making those quirk cancelling bullets, then its time for flatulence cancelling bullets.

the things u do for love <3

[nameless-jamie]

DO YOU MIND?

Glimpse Into the Future - Jamie Tartt x fem!PA reader

Masterlist

TW: cursing, jealousy

It was supposed to be a normal day—a quick photo shoot for the team’s upcoming campaign. Nothing out of the ordinary. Just a group of talented athletes, some lights, a few cameras, and a whole lot of media attention.

But, of course, with Jamie Tartt involved, nothing was ever just normal.

Y/N was heavily pregnant, her belly swollen with Baby Tartt as she entered the studio, feeling every inch of the weight and the tiredness she had been carrying around for the past few months. Despite how uncomfortable she was, she had insisted on coming in. She couldn't leave Jamie alone with the media circus that was always drawn to him, especially not now while she was extra pregnant and feeling particularly useless in her job as Jamie's assistant. Jamie, the father of her child and her boss was more like her assistant these days... They weren’t married yet, but she loved him—a lot. She wasn’t going to relax at home when Jamie was out there in the spotlight or working his ass off on the pitch.

But there was something about this day. The air was thick with tension, even though no one would have known it unless they’d been paying close attention. That’s when she noticed her—the photographer's assistant.

Yup, the photographer's assistant had been hanging around the team for the entire shoot, a young woman with a wide smile and eyes that roamed a little too much over Jamie as he posed for the photos. Y/N could see it in the way the woman looked at him, the flirty glances, the playful comments. Her pregnant brain was immediately on alert and her jealousy level spiked.

Y/N felt the stir of irritation brewing in her chest, something she knew she could only partially blame on the hormones. The assistant was clearly flirting with Jamie, oblivious to the fact that Y/N was standing right there, her pregnant belly a clear indicator that Jamie wasn’t single. She probably didn't know Jamie that well; must live under a rock. Jamie Tartt's baby announcement went viral.

"Great, just what I need today," Y/N muttered under her breath, though she couldn’t hold back a little evil smirk. Oh, this was going to be a little fun.

The assistant leaned in too close, hands on her hips, flashing a grin at Jamie. "So," she purred, "you got any plans after the shoot? You could show me around the city, maybe grab a drink?"

Jamie—being Jamie—flashed a cocky smile and leaned back against the prop, crossing his arms in a way that screamed I'm not impressed. "Nah, I’m good. Got a few things to do, y'know."

"Oh?" The assistant raised an eyebrow, clearly intrigued. "What could you possibly be busy with? The shoot's nearly over." Her eyes flicked over to Y/N and the rest of the team shooting glares at her, then back to Jamie. "You sure you don’t wanna... have a little fun after?"

Y/N’s hand tightened on the edge of the chair she was sitting in. Did she really just say that?

The assistant was definitely testing the waters now. Y/N was sure now, she didn’t even know she was Jamie’s girlfriend. Not that it would have stopped her, or so Y/N thought. But her semi-sexual comment crossed a line, and Y/N—well, she was done playing nice.

"You know, sweetheart," Y/N’s voice rang out, sharp and commanding, "maybe you should be more focused on your work than flirting with people who are clearly taken."

Y/N wanted to give her statement a little more gusto by standing up from her chair and walking towards them, but her big belly made it really hard to stand up on her own, so Sam had to help her up.

The assistant’s smile faltered for a split second before she gave a tight laugh looking down at Y/N pregnant state. "Oh? Who's the lucky guy? He must be someone important if you're sitting around the club and giving out orders like that." She gestured to Y/N’s protruding belly.

The comment stung more than Y/N wanted to admit, her job was always something Y/N was proud of and now she was just viewed as some pregnant lady, that had no business 'chilling' in a football club. But she wasn’t about to let this girl think she could walk all over her.

Jamie, who had been watching the whole thing unfold with a bemused expression, was finally ready to step in. His lips twitched into a smile, but it was clear he wasn’t enjoying the exchange. He knew Y/N wasn’t the type to let anyone disrespect her, especially not when she was carrying their child. And he doesn't want her to get all riled up because the stress is bad for the baby.

Just as he was about to open his mouth and tell the girl off, she put her hands on his arm and squeezed his biceps. "Wow, you're really strong, Jamie."

"Do you mind keeping your hands to yourself?" Y/N snapped, feeling a surge of protectiveness rush through her. “And, by the way, it’s not very polite to flirt with someone who’s clearly not interested in you."

The assistant's grin didn’t fade immediately. Instead, she leaned in further, ignoring the obvious tension in the air. "Oh, I get it," she said, raising an eyebrow. "You got knocked up by a footballer or maybe a coach, huh? That's why you feel so important up in here and try to tell me what to do."

Y/N’s blood boiled, but before she could respond, Jamie stood up straighter, the playful grin never leaving his face. He crossed his arms, looking the assistant dead in the eye. “Yup,” he said proudly, his voice full of cocky amusement as he pointed toward Y/N's belly. “I did that. I’m the footballer who knocked her up proper.”

The assistant’s face dropped, realizing she’d made a mistake by misjudging the situation. Jamie looked at Y/N with such adoration in his eyes that it made her heart skip a beat. His protective proud dad side was showing, and it made her love him even more.

Y/N raised an eyebrow at the assistant, her tone cutting. “Next time, you might want to keep your comments to yourself. And remember who you’re talking to. Maybe google Jamie Tartt before you flirt with him, because you'll definitely see my face on your feed, bitch.”

Jamie chuckled, wrapping an arm around Y/N's waist, and pulling her close. "That’s my girl," he whispered, placing a soft kiss on her cheek.

The assistant quickly muttered an apology, realizing she’d overstepped her bounds, and hurriedly disappeared to finish her tasks elsewhere.

The team, of course, had been watching the whole exchange with rapt attention.

Roy, who had been quietly observing from the side, chuckled. “That was bloody brilliant, Y/N. 'You'll definitely see my face on your feed, bitch', gotta remember that one.”

Dani clapped his hands. "Oh, mama bear is fierce!"

Isaac, unable to resist, added, "Should've seen your face, Jamie. You looked scared for a second there, mate."

"I was scared for the girl. Even pregnant she would've fucking rocked her off her socks, mate." Jamie laughed.

Sam laughed, nudging Jamie’s shoulder. “No one messes with Y/N, huh?”

Y/N gave a mock half-bow, feeling the weight of her pregnancy a little more now. “Glad I could entertain you all. Next time, I’ll just throw a chair or something.”

Jamie wrapped an arm around her waist, pulling her close. "Nah, babe. You handled it perfectly. And for the record—" he grinned mischievously, "I’m definitely not interested in anyone else. Especially when I’ve got you and Baby Tartt. By the way, I could've totally handled it without you stressing yourself so much."

Y/N raised an eyebrow, feeling her heart swell with affection. "Good answer, Tartt. Didn't see you handling it, though."

He smirked at her sassy answer, he honestly did not expect anything else. "Well, you didn't even give me a chance."

Y/N just rolled her eyes and puckered her lips for a kiss. Which Jamie obliged to do quickly.

The shoot continued, but Y/N couldn’t help but feel a little more confident about her place in this world—she wasn’t just Jamie’s assistant. She wasn’t just his girlfriend. She was the mother of his freaking child. And there was nothing that anyone—bitch assistant or otherwise—could say to change that.

And when Jamie leaned in to kiss her, his lips soft and tender against hers, she realized that this was exactly where she was meant to be.

[imstillalexcomic]

As a experienced trans lady can you give any tips for a newbie? Like getting HRT, clothes, ECT. I have no idea what I'm doing 😞

Hey!

While it seems like I'm older than most folks here, I'm pretty much a newbie to transitioning myself! I was questioning for about 8 years before realizing what my situation was, and then didn't actually come out to anyone for another 9 years, then didn't actually start my transition until this past year, which was 7 years after that!

Getting HRT

Your experience is going to vary depending on where you live, so I can only speak to my own situation. When I got my current doctor a couple years ago, it wasn't for any gender purposes, I just needed a new doctor since I had moved. When I had my appointment however, I noticed she was wearing a rainbow pin, so I made a mental note that she'd be a safe person to talk to if I ever decided I was ready to transition.

When the time came, I spoke with her on the topic. She was incredibly understanding and got me started right away. Did some blood tests first to see what my current levels were, and then was prescribed hormones based on those levels.

I'm about 9 months into HRT now. There are periodic blood tests to check levels and make adjustments to my prescriptions.

What am I taking?

Estradiol - Initially was doing the patch, but it was reacting pretty badly with my skin. Was breaking out under the patch and the itch was unbearable. I've since moved to doing weekly injections.

Spironolactone - Taken by pill in the morning with food.

Progesterone - Taken by pill at night.

Clothes

I am genuinely the worst person to ask about this lol. I kind of already dress the way I like, jeans/kahkis & a button down. I'm a plain gal and kind of a tomboy. That said, my wife has been helping me out with bras, and I'm realizing that I need to figure something out in the shirt department, since my "guy" shirts are starting to get uncomfortably snug around my chest.

I've tried some shirt tailored for women, but they don't really work with my frame lol. ALSO WHY ARE THE BUTTONS ON THE OTHER SIDE WHAT'S THE POINT OF THAT? Like, why are buttons gendered? My muscle memory for guy shirt buttons is too strong to overcome at the moment, so for now I'm holding off sticking with my guy tailored shirts until my chest doesn't allow for it anymore.

So... that's where I'm at! Again, your experience is very likely to vary from mine depending on where you live (and what your goals are!), so take everything I said with a grain of salt.

I'm wishing you the best on this journey we're on together!

[beatrixst0nehill]

Alice rubbed her belly, flaunting her pregnant form eagerly. "Soooo, this is very exciting. H-Hey guys, surprise! I'm pregnant.... My parents basically gave me an ultimatum. Either detransition or start pumping out kids. Like.... I was thinking of just detransing, like what trans girl doesn't pump her cock thinking of that??? But I chickened out and said I wanted to start breeding! Granted, I was bringing home a new guy or three.... or five.... basically every night. And my parents had to listen to me giggle and moan and get my fat, girly ass pounded for hours, all the while having to deal with the walls shaking and hearing their spoiled princess get spanked and smacked around. I think they really regret talking me into transitioning but it's too late now!

I actually received an already-pregnant womb. Allegedly I'm six months along but I've only had this womb for three months. The hospital got it out of some ditzy college girl who was testing experimental fuck machines. A student cranked it up when she was testing it on her ass and it scrambled her guts. Soooo, lucky me? Is this big for six months? I feel like it is. My doctors assured me everything is normal and it's becoming very common for trans girls to become breeders!

There is one teeny tiny problem. So, they gave me a choice when daddy brought me in to get my womb. Either they don't do anything and my belly just gets bigger and bigger with no birth canal until the hospital scoops me off the street to give me a C-section, or they give me a birth canal. I thought the first answer sounded a bit scary. Apparently it's pretty popular and really exciting for the girls to see how long they can last without getting dragged to the ER and having their kids scooped out. I asked for a birth canal. Ummm, let me just show you."

Alice removed her baggy skirt, lifting her cock with great heft, hanging down to her knees. She slapped it onto the table in front of her camera. It was even thicker than her upper arms, totally swollen, with a gorgeous head the size of her fist and the color of her lips, its urethra drooling precum. "Look at this!" Alice stroked her cock, reaching forward, slipping four fingers into it with ease. "Oh fuck, it feels so good! Look, I can fist my cock! I may or may not be encouraging guys to fuck it, too....... My balls are gigantic, too. How am I supposed to stay a girl with balls the size of grapefruits??? Ugh, I swear I must cum a gallon a day at least, it's unbearable how bad my erections get after only an hour or two without sex or masturbating. I'm told it's a similar level of horniness to most cis pregnant girls. Hurray, I guess?

I am also on very high doses of estrogen to keep my hormones in check, but still! My cock used to be like five inches, and my balls were like marbles. My doctor says they're almost finished growing but I'm not sure I believe him. Either way us trans girls with wombs are apparently kept pregnant by the state. I thought I'd have to go out and get fucked but nope! I have no choice. I'll be kept pregnant forever now, forced to push as many kids as possible out of my 'birthing shaft' as they call it. Since technically it's too big to actually fuck girls with. Doesn't stop them from trying. I get soooo many pregnant girls who excitedly approach me, feeling my belly, asking how far along I am, or to see how swollen my pussy looks, only to lift my dress or skirt and they gasp..... Then these girls take it as a challenge, trying to suck it, stroking it, bending over and begging me to 'try my hardest to ram it in their holes'. It's kinda fun getting so much attention from girls all of a sudden but it's exhausting, too. And I'm only six months? How do girls walk with such giant bellies???

Oh well, another four months or so until the big day. I'll definitely be filming it. Hopefully my cock can withstand pushing out so many kids. I can't wait to try! I feel like even at this side my poor cock might burst trying to do this but I promise to put on a good show either way! I love being pregnant, and hopefully this is the first of many more! ❤️"

[fearfulfertility]

SURROGATE PROCESSING WORKFLOW

DRC, Facility Operations Command, Compound Oversight Unit

Date: [REDACTED]

Subject: Surrogate Management Protocols

Location: Paternity Compound 131, [REDACTED], Oregon

Objective

This document provides a detailed overview of the surrogate processing workflow employed at Paternity Compound 131. It highlights the efficiency-focused methodologies implemented throughout the process, from intake to post-delivery. Personal letters from Surrogate ID S131-279-P are included, documenting his journey from arrival to delivery to help illustrate the overall operations.

I. Arrival & Intake

Transport

"Dear Dad,

I’m not sure where to start. They brought me here in this big, quiet van, and as soon as we got off, they started running all these tests. They gave me a number and tattooed it on my stomach like livestock. They keep saying I’m doing something important for the greater good, but I'm just confused." - S131-279

Candidates are transported to the facility in climate-controlled vehicles, ensuring they arrive in stable physical condition. They are processed in batches of [REDACTED] at a time for efficiency.

Initial Assessment

Upon arrival, surrogates undergo physical and psychological evaluations to assess readiness for the program. This includes fertility screening and compatibility testing for high-multiparity potential.

Registration

Each surrogate is tattooed with a unique ID number for tracking and monitoring throughout their conscription period, imprinted just above their navel.

Compound ID: The facility they will be housed in for gestation.

Arrival ID: The order number in which they arrived at the facility. 

Fetal Count: A letter to indicate the number of viable fetuses they carry:

A (1) - B (2) - C (3) - D (4) - E (5) - F (6) - G (7) - H (8) - I (9) - J (10) - K (11) - L (12) - M (13) - N (14) - O (15) - P (16) - Q (17) - R (18) - S (19) - T (20) - U (21) - V (22) - W (23) - X (24) - Y (25) - Z (26)  Example: Paternity Compound 127 + 437th Surrogate to Arrive + Carrying Quattuordecuplets (14) = S127-437-N

II. Rest & Preparation

Induction & Crowd Control

"Hey Dad,

Things are getting weirder by the day. Yesterday, they gave me a shot that burned like hell and made me feel woozy. It must have knocked me out cause I woke up, and it was tomorrow morning. I don’t know what happened, but I was so sore. I just want to go home." - S131-279, Arrival Weight 170 lbs

Entry areas are designed to funnel a group of surrogates into a single file line. Short but sweeping corridors are employed so that each candidate is prevented from seeing what lies ahead and concentrates on the individual in front of it.

Hygiene Protocols

Surrogates are directed to communal hygiene zones where they undergo full-body cleansing, enemas, and sterilization procedures.

Hormonal Optimization

Subjects are administered hormonal injections and supplements to ensure optimal uterine receptivity and increase the likelihood of successful embryo implantation.

Tranquilization (Optional)

Depending on the subject’s stress levels, mild to full sedation may be administered to maintain compliance and calm.

Note: [REDACTED]% of surrogates require some form of sedative before insemination.

III. Insemination Process

Surrogates can be assigned one of three insemination methods, depending on operational efficiency, donor availability, and strategic objectives:

"Dad,

I don’t even know who I am anymore. My body feels like it’s not mine. It’s only been a week since I arrived, and my stomach is growing so fast it scares me. I can’t stop eating, and it’s like my hunger gets worse the more I eat, but I can't stop. They keep telling me this is normal, that 16 is a "good number"?! They said it was a badge of honor. Sixteen! I feel like I’m being turned into something I don’t understand, and I can’t stop it." - S131-279-P, Day 6, Weight 192 lbs (+22 lbs)

In Vitro Fertilization (IVF):

Procedure: Embryos fertilized in a laboratory are implanted directly into the surrogate's uterus. 

Benefits: High precision, maximum control over embryo count, and genetic compatibility.

Usage: Preferred for surrogates assigned to carry high-volume fetuses or when multiple donors are involved.

Traditional Method (Sexual Intercourse):

Procedure: Selected donors engage in physical intercourse with surrogates under closely monitored conditions.

Benefits: Natural conception methods reduce laboratory overhead and offer efficient insemination for surrogates with high natural fertility markers.

Usage: Typically used donor compatibility is exceptionally high.

Fluids Infusion (Turkey Baster Method):

Procedure: Donor samples are introduced directly into the surrogate's reproductive tract using a sterile infusion device.

Benefits: Combines simplicity with minimal intervention—a cost and time-effective alternative to IVF and traditional methods.

Usage: Often employed in high-volume batches where rapid insemination is required or transportation to the nearest compound is infeasible.

Post-Procedure Monitoring: Surrogates remain in observation units for [REDACTED] hours to confirm successful implantation and address any immediate complications.

IV. Monitoring & Maintenance

Ward Assignment

"Dad,

I don’t think I can do this anymore. My belly is enormous—I can barely move, and I’m out of breath all the time. They keep saying I’m ‘thriving,’ but how can they call this thriving? I heard one of the staff joking about how I’m ‘one of the biggest ones yet.’ They think it’s funny. I don’t. I can feel them—16 of them—moving inside me, taking over everything I used to be. I’m not me anymore." - S131-279-P, Day 13, Weight 254 lbs (+84 lbs)

Surrogates are transferred to gestational wards, where they will reside for their pregnancies. These wards have medical monitoring stations, communal feeding areas, and resting zones.

Nutrition Protocols

Diets are adjusted to high-calorie "one-size-fits-all" solutions, such as nutrient-dense puddings designed to promote fetal growth while maintaining surrogate docility. Hormonal treatments are incorporated into meals to reduce the need for frequent medical interventions.

Weekly Checkups

Surrogates undergo routine ultrasound exams, weight measurements, and health assessments to ensure all embryos develop within target parameters.

Behavioral Observations

Any signs of distress or resistance are addressed promptly through psychological support or, if necessary, isolation protocols.

V. Delivery Process

"This will probably be my last letter. I don’t think I’ll make it much longer. My body’s breaking under the weight—literally. I'm too big, no one was ever meant to be this big. They’re moving me to the birthing wing tomorrow, and I know what that means. I’m terrified, but I don’t have a choice. I just want you to know I didn’t have a choice." - S131-279-P, Day 28, Weight 490 lbs (+320 lbs)

Pre-Labor Preparation

As surrogates approach full term (29-35 days), they are moved to birthing wings equipped with specialized delivery equipment and staff trained for high-multiparity births. Diets are radically adjusted to promote greater weight gain.

Labor Management & Delivery

Surrogates are monitored continuously, and medical staff is on hand to manage complications. Multiple babies are delivered in succession. This process may last several hours or more, depending on the number of fetuses.

Post-Delivery Processing:

Fetuses are immediately evaluated for health and viability.

Surrogates are provided palliative care as necessary.

VI. Post-Delivery Workflow

"Surrogate S131-279-P demonstrated remarkable endurance and successfully delivered 16 fetuses, average weight 14 lbs, in 30-45 minute intervals, after a 34-hour labor. The surrogate's abdomen showed extreme distension, with clear evidence of significant internal [REDACTED]. Full natural delivery was achieved, but the surrogate succumbed to irreversible [REDACTED] failure minutes after the final baby was delivered." - Dr. [REDACTED], Chief OBGYN, Paternity Compound 131

Vital Cessation Verification

Medical staff confirm the cessation of all vital signs immediately following delivery to ensure compliance with humane protocols. Time and cause of expiration are noted for record-keeping and research purposes.

Surrogate Decommissioning & Disposal

[REDACTED]

Note: As standard protocol, all personal items of Surrogate S131-279-P were recycled following his decommissioning, including the destruction of [REDACTED] paper letters addressed to a Mr. [REDACTED] Collazo.

Surrogate Output Metrics

Each surrogate’s performance is evaluated against pre-delivery projections. The Prenatal Division records key performance indicators for review, including total fetal weight, fetal viability, and gestational efficiency. Personal details related to the surrogate are then purged to save computer storage space and maintain confidentiality.

Key Metrics and Efficiency Goals

Average Per Surrogate: 8–14 Embryos

Delivery Survival Rate (Fetuses): [REDACTED]%

Surrogate Survival Rate: 0%

Cost per Surrogate: $[REDACTED]

This structured process ensures that surrogate output meets national population growth goals while maintaining operational efficiency and cost-effectiveness.

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[bustybounty]

You thought it'd be funny to spike the punch bowl with a bit of growth hormones and seeing everyone squirm in their tightening clothes during prom, but your class' bully spotted you. She took the bowl and made constant eyecontact while chugging the entire thing. She wasn't gonna let you leave prom early until she had her fun,though with the libido enhancers that were in the punch aswell, that might take a while.

Turns out I never felt more attracted to that bully of mine than now. She quickly went from someone I didn't like to someone I was actively making love with, as she literally got taller, hornier, wetter, making a puddle all over her swelling, lengthening legs, not to mention growing thicker and curvier all around, this growth hormone being potent enough, and in such quantities due to how much she drank, that she was literally blowing all her clothes up into smithereens, into tiny scraps of cloth that no one would care to clean up.

Sure enough this party, with the high libidos running rampant, would turn into something more akin to an orgy, with all these men and women testing their new swollen bodies on each other, especially on whoever they took to prom, but not limited to just them, depending on the pairing... foursomes were very notably there, as everything became confused, surprised, and finally devolved into pure, untapped debauchery that would be unreachable, even for this place's levels, without some form of arousal boosting compound.

I didn't expect it to be this strong, and while I was aware of the high libido it caused, I didn't think they'd all turn to fuck each other, not caring they were in public, as everyone else was practically suffering the same fate as them...

While I didn't take any of the drink, not wanting to prank myself, my own libido was obscenely large and made up for it as it was probably ten times higher than the normal sexual needs for anyone in the building before they 'transformed'.

Watching my former bully become this tall, beautiful, amazonian-esque, voluptuous, curvaceous, bodacious, delicious woman was making ME very noticeably horny down there as well.

With her pressing me against the wall, her tits smothering me, I knew this was just the beginning of how she'd dominate me, put my body through the ropes for an entire night, if not longer, making this experience even more worthwile than it would be if it had only resulted in some embarrassed chaos like I initially expected.

Though now was no time to think of it, as my mind was going blank with the first of many orgasms this massive, still swelling bully was giving me, she truly was bullying my nervous system by bombarding it with too much pleasure at once, something even my horny levels struggled to handle...

Damn...I'm gonna start pulling this prank at every single reunion I have from now on... <3

[catboybiologist]

Why don't you take Spiro anymore? (You mentioned this in a recent post)

My T is sufficiently suppressed without it. Estrogen and Testosterone inhibit each other through indirect pathways- both signal the hypothalamus and pituitary, which in turn signal the testes/ovaries to produce more or less of their hormone. Unfortunately, T is a more potent suppressor of E than vice versa, so a blocker is needed to drop T levels at first (usually), which then lets E get high. Once E is high enough, then it can suppress T production on its own. For me specifically, I've never had a problem suppressing T, especially later into HRT when my E was getting somewhat higher. Even after quitting spiro, my T has never gotten above 20 ng/dL, and is mostly around 15 ng/dL, which is on the low side of normal even for cis women. AA in general are theoretically unnecessary once E is high enough to suppress T on their own, but this varies strongly dependent on the individual hormone metabolism from person to person. Fun fact, this is also why masculinizing hormone therapy is way simpler than feminizing hormone therapy- T is potent enough to inhibit E right off the bat without extra help.

Personal consideration to add here: I'm quickly learning that I'm a rapid metabolizer, along with about 20-30% of the human population. Essentially this means that most medication has shorter effect periods on me, and I believe it also has had an effect on how effectively my T got suppressed. My T levels were low almost immediately when I started HRT, and I started with spiro. But, the price I had to pay is that its taken forever for my E to go up. With that in mind, I realized that for me specifically, I didn't have to worry about my T going back up if my E wasn't high enough yet.

The above are about why I felt spiro was unnecessary, but why not take it just in case? Simple- side effects. I was having very noticeable diuretic side effects to the point where it interfered with my usual routines, so I tried to quit as soon as I could. Once I quit, a brain fog that I didn't even notice was there, lifted. I was having a lot of issues that I now realize were due to low sodium- my energetics were fucked, my vision was getting hazy when I stood up, and my heart pounded in situations it didn't need to. When I quit spiro, these stopped almost immediately, and I realized that these were side effects that I hadn't even registered as side effects.

These were considerations I made based on my own personal situation, but hopefully it helps. I haven't been on an AA since February or so. I actually just got a levels test back (spreadsheet update pending) and it confirms that my T has been within cis female ranges since early October, and on the low side of cis female ranges since early November.

In my personal opinion, AAs should be used more conservatively than it currently is, but are still necessary for HRT. My ideal HRT based on papers I've seen, personal experience, and conversations with my provider is essentially: brief period of E monotherapy-> E+AA until T is suppressed and E levels are high -> E monotherapy -> additional considerations (like prog). This is not coming from a medical perspective, though, just an anecdotal one.

[trans-axolotl]

Do you have any advice about going from DIY hrt (testosterone specifically) to legal hrt? I have a limited supply of testosterone that I've just restarted and would like to continue T through a doctor ideally just because the source I got it from is not a long term supplier, but I'm not sure how to go about explaining that I've been on T without a prescription on record. I'm on a very low dose but I feel like my levels will still flag as higher than a pre-T perisex afab person's levels. I have been on T legally in the past but it's been a couple years.

Hi anon!

So most of my advice is based on navigating the US healthcare system--please feel free to let me know if that's not applicable, and we can try to brainstorm ideas for how to navigate your healthcare system.

What worked for me was intentionally choosing a clinic that was separate from the rest of the healthcare I received and just lying and telling my doctor that I had a previous prescription from a different doctor but wanted to transfer care here. I went to Planned Parenthood, and just told them that I used to get it prescribed by my primary care doctor but I wanted to get it from here now. I think this would work best at informed consent clinics. Possible reasons to give might include that your old doctor was out of network with insurance so you're switching, that you moved, that it's cheaper at the new place, that the new doctor is closer to your house, etc.

And in my experience at informed consent clinics they really don't care--they haven't asked me follow up questions, they haven't asked to see the prescription, they didn't even ask for the doctors name. And the way that most medical record software sharing works in the US, they'd have to pretty intentionally search for that information to catch you in a lie. All they asked me for was what my old dosage had been and when was the last time I had bloodwork. If they do ask more follow up questions, you can always say that you don't have those records and lie and say that your primary care doctor isn't set up with MyChart or something like that.

The benefit of doing it this way was that so I didn't have to think up reasons to justify my test results and I also was just able to talk a lot more openly about what dosages I'd already tried, what i was looking for in terms of hormone levels, etc.

If lying about it doesn't feel like an option, one possibility might be to just skip your T shot the week before you're having your levels checked, and that might help avoid your levels getting flagged.

What I'll also say is that there already is so much variation in hormone levels and that there is a very wide range of hormone levels in both intersex and perisex people, and there's a chance that even with high testosterone showing up in your levels, that might not cause too much of a barrier.

Wishing you the best of luck, anon, and if any followers have helpful ideas, feel free to add on!

[dolcegbaby]

I'm sorry for the unsolicited advice but i saw that you are having a skin problem. That was me last year. I couldn't understand why i kept having awful chin acne and some mild acne around the nose. (I still do, but that goes away fast and those acnes are small.) My skin was peeled off too!

This is what you must do!!! Go check if you are lactose-intolerant. (I am. I confirmed my suspicions. The lactose-intolerance often causes skin problems!) Go check your hormones. (Mine are fine except for the testosterone level. Mine is higher. The lactose-intolerance might affect hormones and acne lol. Who knew? I didn't...)

I also got tested for 107 allergies and liver, kidneys and iron levels. (Everything was fine)Just go to the lab or clinic and pay for the tests. You don't need a doctor's prescription. Good luck! Also, it's winter. It's normal to have skin problems in winter😄if you live in the climate where you have snow.

omg tysmm for the advice!! 💕

ive never had this problem yet where my skin is both oily and dry lmao ill take ur advice and get checked

[sunboki]

maybe it’s my hormones?? i’ve been so soft lately .. here’s evidence

warning — pregnancy, reader has feminine pronouns

there are oftentimes a lot of moments chris will keep in his memory hall of fame with you and him, but what he hadn’t anticipated was this moment.

since leaning down over the toilet bowl to gape at the pregnancy test you held reading positive, chris was in love.

as if that was even possible considering how madly he was in love before, now was an entirely new level.

like last week, when he was accompanying you to the grocery store and a man preoccupied by his phone nearly ran into you — causing you to have to stop and spend a whole five minutes to calm your bodyguard down. no less his hand was always on your lower back everywhere you went. something very attractive of him to do.

in current time though you’d finally arrived at the bahng household in australia, greeted by the barking of berry and the rest of his family. this was your second time meeting your husbands family and their warmth was simply infectious with how much they favored you over chris, something everyone laughed about countless times in good fun.

after all the jet-lag and hormones though you couldn’t help but be exhausted, resorting to cozying up on the couch and watching Bluey while chris heated up chili from dinner.

“honey~ i’ve got the super duper hot chili that you wanted~” in a sing-song voice, chris maneuvered out of the kitchen, holding the steaming bowl in one hand and his own snack in the other. yet upon peering over the coach to where you lay comfy, he noticed you weren’t only sleeping, but joined by berry who was now dozed off on top of your round tummy in a protective manner that nearly sent the witness crying.

a heart attack did not give justice to the way he felt. not at all. the sweetness of it all making him simply melt.

“thanks for watching over her berry, i know i can trust you to keep her safe, okay? she means the world to me, i can’t wait for you to meet the new member of our family.” he carefully leans down, face all stretched and smiley prior to abandoning the dishes on the counter.

trust that the man snapped countless photos and videos of the precious moment, and as much as the boys found it cute — they got worried chris would never stop talking about it. like, never.

he didn’t.

all rights reserved by @sunboki. repost and plagiarism will not be tolerated.

[scretladyspider]

please don’t scroll; I really need your help to reach my gofundme goal of $3500 and not become homeless.

Im Elle, a queer, ace, disabled person with ADHD, depression, and two cats. In November, I lost my job without warning. I have no savings as the job already had me living to the last dollar of every paycheck. I was denied unemployment and food stamps. I cannot work away from home, a physical job, or something with strict hours due to some yet-to-be-diagnosed illness.

this is my story — what’s going on & how I got here. (Smaller text used because it’s a lot of information/a long post.)

In early 2018, I was doing regular walk/runs. In 2019, I stopped being able to run, so I went on walks. Running took hours, then days, to recover from. My body couldn’t produce energy to do it consistently, so, walks. In 2020, I kept going on walks and tried to do aerobics. I was not able to keep doing aerobics. My body took hours upon hours to recover, where before it hadn’t, I was alone for almost all of 2020, and never developed COVID symptoms; it was what happened with running all over again. In 2021, it started to take more time to recover from walks. Then I started to need to take a nap immediately after I clocked out from work— and it was a work from home job. In 2022, I began to go from my sitting desk job straight to my bed most days, laying down exhausted right after work, even sleeping through lunch to get some rest.

On New Year's Eve 2023, I spent 30 minutes cleaning, including vacuuming my living room. I had to rest the rest of the day.

In the last five years, I've gone from running to being exhausted for hours by taking my garbage to the curb.

Imagine you were someone who enjoyed recreational exercise. Now imagine doing 1/100th of that and feeling sick for days. Thats me.

There are other symptoms also. More vulnerability to infection and more trouble fighting infection. Shooting, sharp muscle pains in large muscles such as the thigh or forearm, like a pinched nerve, that come and go at random. Pulse rate that skyrockets upon standing, to go back to normal soon after. Stomach inflammation. Inflammation without major swelling. Headaches. Complete inability to tolerate heat, leading to excruciating migraines that only go away with things like cold showers, electrolytes, and hours of rest in the dark with ice. Muscles that literally don't feel like they're getting oxygen. Random rashes. Face flushing. Being much more easily out of breath, yawning over and over, like I can't get air correctly. Weight gain, no matter what I eat or don't eat.

And just being so, so tired.

In summer of 2018, something… stopped working in my body. I felt sick all the time. I had a low, unexplainable fever nearly every day. Shooting nerve pain would wake me up at night. The doctor said I had a cold. But months went by and I didn’t get better. When my blood work and thyroid hormone level was normal, I was referred to a rheumatologist.

I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia after he made me wait 45 minutes, came in and asked “are you tired?", poked me hard, said I was tender, and left without running tests. This sort of “uhm the standard blood work came back normal, have you tried exercising more? I know you’re here because your body can’t recover from it but have you tried more of that? Also going to sleep at night?” has been the response over and over and over for five years. It got to the point where I even started to wonder if I was somehow making it up. I see a psych nurse. She thinks there's more than just depression, ADHD, and other things - though we both agree that managing those is vital too. She used to be a cardiologist, so this is reassuring. But when I have tried to see other doctors, it goes differently. Most of the time they see I have ADHD, a long history of depression, and hypermobile joints, and say that explains everything. I can't count how many times I've been told "well, you have depression” when the labs, if they even agreed to run them, came back normal. My standard blood work sometimes comes back with anemia, but I take an iron supplement. No improvement had come of it. I’ve had my thyroid hormone levels tested over and over, but never the antibodies. No imaging or referrals have happened, outside of one to a second rheumatologist. He ran no tests either; he just saw my joints are hypermobile and I was “sure taking a lot of mental health medications” (two at the time), and… that was that.

I had given up on actually even getting help until my SIL recommended a doctor she knew. For the first time in five years, when the standard blood work and TSH tests were normal, she told me we would keep looking. I actually cried with relief at that. It’s amazing to be believed after all this time.

Because of …. All of this, I'm trying to figure out how to either work for myself or find a work from home job that has flexible hours I can choose. I literally wouldn't be able to work a retail gig where I have to stand for eight hours, or even a 9-5 where I have to be there for those exact hours, because my body cannot do that right now. I want to get better but it's a long way off. First I need to know what's even wrong. I'm praying for a diagnosis soon. And treatment. At the least, management.

I have heard of EDS and I have been evaluated. I apparently don’t meet enough criteria, hence the diagnosis of JHS instead. It’s in the same family. I have also heard of POTS. I am pursuing testing. Same with Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, MCAS, fibromyalgia… yeah. The thing is nothing outside of the standard blood count and thyroid hormone level test, no other lab tests have been done. There are so many things this could be that have never been checked. Lyme disease, for example, is extremely common where I live (it’s actually just extremely common worldwide) and matches much of my experience, but 1) in the USA the initial Lyme test relies on a strain of bacteria cultured in the 80s 2) there are over 100 strains of Lyme disease in the USA 3) in spite of decades of research there are doctors who don’t believe chronic Lyme exists 4) no doctor has ever checked and I only recently learned anything about it so I never asked. But… there are a lot of things to check that I’ve never had checked is my point. Fingers crossed someone can help me get there.

I do not have a partner who can try to support me through this, and my family already supports me however they can. My severance (which was low as I found out I was being paid much less than the rest of the team later) paid only my January rent.

Since my ability to work is severely limited right now, and I've been denied unemployment and food stamps, and I would need a diagnosis and to be awarded disability benefits in court (which can take YEARS that I don’t have), I have nothing in savings because of years of underpaying jobs the cost of living and being disabled and going through prior periods of unemployment due to this and other factors, I am left in a tough spot without help. Without this help, this gofundme... I have nothing.

So... here I am. A queer nonbinary disabled neurodivergent writer, trying my best, living with some undiagnosed illness that's severely impacted my ability to function, who got fired without real reasons (in America they can just do that to you without even telling you why), asking for your help to pay my February rent and January bills so I don’t repeat the trauma of being homeless. Or for you to reblog this.

Thank you for reading all of this.

It’s been on my chest for a long time. Even if it wasn’t for the gofundme, it feels good to talk about and be honest about my health. It reminds me you’re not supposed to feel like this all the time when I tell other people and they tell me I should get help and deserve answers. It’s reassuring to see competent doctors who finally believe me. I hope we figure it out.

no donation is too small— they add up. If just 100 people gave $35, the goal would be met. Sharing is also giving— it means someone who can help is more likely to see it.

You can also help via my venmo — secretladyspider

CashApp — secretladyspider

or find PayPal in my tip jar in my linktree

Goal is $3500 or over. Funds needed ASAP. If it goes over, that’ll help with February.

Thank you for anything and everything.

[bumblebeerror]

i saw your post about "testosterone" puberty and while i appreciate the sentiment, i think you're wrong. and i say this as someone who is amab and went through an amab puberty.

i didn't sweat that much at all. and even when i did in summer, it was nothing a shower, soap and deodorant couldn't fix. my hair never got greasy, even when i was depressed and went for a week without showering or washing it. in fact, it was the opposite: it was unusually dry. my skin also never got oily and was always dry.

very few of my peers stinked because we practiced proper hygiene. it's your own responsibility as a teenager to clean yourself and practice proper hygiene, no matter how much testosterone you make. it's not a valid excuse to be dirty.

the reason you're sweating so much is probably because you're overdosing on testosterone. most transmascs on t take doses WAY HIGHER that what the average cis boy/man produces. the average cis boy/man has levels of 400-500, meanwhile the average ftm dosage is around 800-1000.

also, the timing of testosterone production is different. cis boys/men produce it daily (every morning), meanwhile you guys get it weekly (whenever you take your shots). so it's more evenly spread out amongst cis boys/men.

if you're bothered by the symptoms you're experiencing, you should talk to your doctor about lowering your dosage.

Oh yay unsolicited health advice

My levels are round 400 as of my last blood test, thanks though.

I’m gonna stop you right there at my injections - testosterone injections are not done into veins. They’re done intramuscularly (into a large muscle) or subcutaneously (into the layer of fat that sits under the skin). This is because injectable testosterone is oil based, because it is meant to absorb slowly through the week, similarly to how it’s produced.

Not to mention, my body also… does make testosterone. Like on its own. Not enough to masculinize me, but testosterone is a hormone that regulates things like ovarian function and bone density in afab folks. All this to say that my body knows what to do with it, and if my levels were too high, my dose would have been lessened when my blood was tested. In fact I seem to struggle to absorb it properly - I originally started on low-dose T and had to increase it because it barely raised my levels at all.

With that out of the way, I’ll address the rest;

That… doesn’t change the fact that while you personally may not have sweat much or had oily skin, a lot of my classmates the first time I had puberty did. And a lot of them were my friends, because I was the only person who didn’t treat them like dirty and gross for struggling to adapt to their bodies changing.

Going through puberty the first time for me meant almost no change in how much I sweat, stank, or how comfortable I was. A week out of the month I had to deal with smelling like blood and dealing with pads and being extremely uncomfortable - im not saying it was a breeze, but what I am saying is I didn’t have to worry about gym class leaving a smiley face in sweat on my shirt, or being unpresentable in general unless I was on my period. And even then - if someone called me on it I could always say I was on my period and people would fuck off about it. Besides that, I’m saying I didn’t have to change my hygiene as a teen whatsoever. No changes. No increase in showers. No extra deodorant.

What I experience now is similar to what I saw my friends experience, and what I saw them catch absolute hell for.

Something that I, as an adult, do have the tools and knowledge to handle. But as a child, I would have struggled immensely.

I said it before and I will say it again. Sweaty, stinky, disheveled teenage boys are learning entirely new routines in order to be presentable. They’re fucking kids, and I personally think if you make fun of kids for not being able to adjust to a change that is so huge, I think that’s pretty shitty tbh.

They deserve a break.

[scarletwritesshit]

🔬 Dr. Ratio x Ruan Mei 🔬 ...For Science, of course.

She didn’t notice that her robe was sliding down from her shoulders. It wasn’t even tied very well, not exactly serving its purpose of covering her breasts very well. Ruan Mei had other priorities at the current moment in time. For all she could care, her robe could slide completely onto the floor, yet nothing could pry her away from the microscope at her desk.

Ratio still as if this was an unsuitable look for her. She did appear unbothered, especially given as they were both completely naked quite literally moments ago, but he still felt as if it was wrong to leave her in such a state. Ruan Mei probably didn’t even notice. Or care, for that matter. Regardless of what the case may be, he got up from the edge of the bed to help fix her robe.

"Are you making any progress on your studies?" Ratio asked.

"From observations made at a glance, it seems as if you are quite healthy and fertile," Ruan Mei said, sitting back from the microscope and jotting down a few notes. "While you are here, I would like to ask a small favor of you."

"Hm?"

"Your arm. Hold it out."

Ratio complied with her request without a second thought. She pressed her fingers against his wrist and recorded notes with her free hand, likely his pulse from what Ratio could catch a glimpse of. When she was finished, she held his arm out firmly, grabbed a syringe, and jammed it into his vein without a warning. Ratio winced slightly, though he very much knew that it was all a key part of Ruan Mei’s research.

She filled a vial up with his blood before securely taping a gauze pad over the bleeding area. Ratio rubbed his hand on the sore spot and flinched at the sting of pain that shot up his arm. A bit of a nuisance for him, but a small willing sacrifice he was willing to make for her.

"I would advise you to sit down," she said, "I drew more than the first time, and you are bound to become very dizzy within a few short moments."

"Understandable, but if I may ask,” he said, gently sliding her robe back onto her shoulders and around her body, "why do you require so much blood of me?"

"To accurately test your hormone levels," Ruan Mei clarified, "I have vials of both yours and mine, before and after, to give me an insight to the changes our bodies have underwent."

Ratio was starting to feel his body lose strength, so he leaned forward on her chair to steady himself. He noticed the vials of blood standing up on the desk, two marked with Ruan Meis name and two marked with his.

"Are there any other tests that you need to conduct on me for the time being?" Ratio offered, "I am at your service as your Guinea pig, after all."

"Not necessarily objective tests, but an insight into your emotional state would aid me greatly."

"Most interesting, as emotions are more often considered subjective rather than objective in the field of science."

"Emotional perception of a situation has their biases, but as those are caused by chemical reactions within the brain itself, there is no denying their presence. Thus, they are as important to consider as any other variable.”

Ruan Mei glanced over at a stack of notebooks shoved towards the back of her desk. Laying on the top and against the sides of the stack were photographs documenting a multitude of creatures with an apparent gelatinous consistency. Or “snacks,” as they have been dubbed. Though these “snacks” were an example of successfully created artificial lifeforms, Ruan Mei has considered their existence as an ultimate failure.

They were alive. They were breathing. They were conscious. Yet Ruan Mei still felt as if something was missing from their “recipe”. With the assistance of the Trailblazer, she observed that these creations were only capable of feeling a singular, static emotion, an explanation as to why some of them did nothing but cry or scoff, for example.

"You make a compelling statement," Ratio said.

He thought carefully about his next words. There was the physical feeling of Ruan Mei's body that still lingered strongly in his mind, but he believed that she was referring more to his emotional perspective on the ordeal. Curiously enough, the physical feeling of her and his emotional perspective seemed to go hand in hand. The softness of Ruan Mei's skin bought Ratio a great sense of comfort and ease, and being able to gaze upon the bare human body bought him the strangest sense of trust happiness.

This was supposed to be a simple act of assistance for Ruan Mei’s research. Why was sexual intimacy something that he would be more than happy to provide her with again? And why did he only consider such acts with her in particular?

As his body grew even more tired, he subconsciously leaned in closer to Ruan Mei.

"And if you can equate these feelings to sensations, that would be most welcome," she continued.

"Hmm…while in the midst of our act, I felt a certain…pleasure, as one may refer to it as. The softness and closeness of your body bought me great joy, and I felt as if I could trust you with my defenseless flesh.”

Ruan Mei tapped her pen on the desk, listening intently. "Interesting. Do go on."

"If I may add, I would love to experience it you again."

"And how are you feeling right now?"

"...Tired, but still glad that I was able to assist you in some way.”

Ruan Mei tapped her pen on her chin as she jotted down more notes and scanned over her results. Enjoyment of the experiment. A willingness to further participate in sexual activities with her. Most interesting.

Dr Ratio noticed the thoughtfulness in her gestures and expressions.

"Is something perhaps abnormal?" he questioned.

"Not in the context of plausible human emotion, but I am more curious about the significance of what your responses mean for you personally."

He suddenly felt himself become nervous.

"Do elaborate," he said.

"A strong attachment and an eagerness to continue with such intimacy… I do not believe that these feelings in question are part of… routine procedures."

"Well, how did you feel about it yourself?"

"Similar to how you described it. It was as if you were putting my feelings into more concise words. Like..."

Ruan Mei’s voice trailed off. She was beginning to understand what emotions were brewing within her, but the sensation was so new to her that proper words were not yet feasible.

"Like a feeling of not wanting to be separated?"

Ruan Mei nodded her head. Distracted by these thoughts brewing in her mind, she had completely stopped writing in her notebook.

"Yes, that is… precisely what it is," she said.

"Strong feelings of attraction are typically associated with romantic emotions," Ratio noted.

"Is...that so?" Ruan Mei asked, her thoughts finally clicking into place.

"This complex mix of emotions...It’s a part of being a living, breathing human individual."

Complex mix of emotions...Ruan Mei had one solution as to why her experiments didn’t quite net her desirable results. They were lacking a variety of emotions that set conscious creatures apart from entities that merely existed and breathed. A lack of a multiplex conscious, if one may specify.

With one answered question arose many more, and Ruan Mei’s newfound problem was the extent of her feelings.

"Ratio, are you possibly suggesting that..."

"Normally, such feelings are concluded before acts of sexual intimacy, at least to my understanding. If they are indeed mutual between the two of us, then perhaps our little experiment has yielded some rather unexpected results."

"If what you said holds some truth to it," Ruan Mei said, "perhaps...a quick study to determine how true?"

"By doing what, exactly?"

"Just...rest your head on my shoulder for a brief moment," she requested.

Ratio, becoming more deprived of energy by the minute, did as she asked of him and shifted his body weight forward, resting his head on her shoulder.

"Well?" he asked, "how does it feel?"

"It’s...quite nice," Ruan Mei said, gently stroking his hair. "And as for you?"

"Seconded."

"If you agree, then I suppose we have reached one surprising conclusion today."

"If you seek further supporting evidence, I can take you on an excursion often referred to as a date," Ratio offered.

"That would be most...lovely, actually. But not before you rest up. You have just had a significant amount of blood drawn, not to mention the exhaustion is typical among males."

"Noted..." Ratio said, clearly feeling the exhaustion in question.

Ruan Mei slid out of her chair, making sure Ratio was steady enough to not collapse. She swung his muscular arm around her shoulders, and tilted his body weight towards her.

"Allow me to guide you back to the bed. Rest easy, so our results from the date later will prove to be as accurate as possible."