#they gossip and stuff me thinks
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S.T.A.R.S. big sisters !
OC on left is @silna-pdf ‘s!!!
alvina and junior sketch under the cut bc i dont wanna clog the tags lol:
#baddiesss pose for me#they gossip and stuff me thinks#jackie lowkey look scary as hell i would not cross her#she will suplex me into a wall#jackie steele#junior also listens to ken carson😭😭#alvina listens to rap too but she will put indie first and foremost#forgot to put in that kids post shes also an ASSHOLE dont be fooled by the timidness. shes literally just her dad#oc x canon#resident evil#re oc#oc#resident evil oc#biohazard oc#biohazard#fengshuioc#wasians are hard to draw#junior has an iphone 8 because he is the least favourite child
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I saw some art in a kind of trading card style and I couldn't help but mock up some rough dungeon meshi mtg cards! I know the party mechanic would fit pretty well here but I was already halfway done by the time I realized lol and also I don't play with that mechanic so idrk how it works!!!
#I should do izutsumi and kabru next#izutsumi I figure will have boring ninja stuff#Kabru I think I'm gonna make do voting that sounds like a funny way to mechanically represent gossip#dungeon meshi#mtg#magic the gathering#Please let me know if you think any of these cards are unbalanced!#dungeon meshi spoilers#dunmesh spoilers#delicious in dungeon#dunmeshi#magic: the gathering#mtg commander#also the maker I was using couldn't do multiple color identities so its a little rough but w/e!
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If you know it in one glimpse, it's legendary.
#chairedit#ggedit#gossipgirledit#dailycb#chuck x blair#chuck and blair#gossip girl#chair mine#gg mine#my typog#my stuff#me making a chair edit on the year 2024? more likely than you think#rewatch was a Big Mistake#(fingers crossed this gets notes lmao)
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saw the headcanon where Heart knows Morse code and came up with this:
Whenever Heart and Mind want to talk about Soul, they beep back and forth in Morse code
Headcanon #623
#chonny jash#submission#cj mind#cj heart#so damn canon to me#lets these mfs gossip & talk shit#let them morse code gossip over coffee#FINALLY someone else says it#yon think they talk shit about each other? you dont even know the stuff they rant about over coffee
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this guy is honestly making me question too much shit
bc there's no way in hell is just that nice, right?
at this point either: 1. he's being this nice and kind bc he has a crush on me, 2. he's honestly that nice, which will make me have a crush on him, bc omg. he's just the nicest person ever
#aj rambles#sorry but this guy is making me so confused#especially since i was having an “am i even attracted to guys” phase - which is not helping this situation at all......#but like ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh#context if you're nosy: i sent an email to all students on my department with a forms to see if anyone could help in the data acquisition#but like this procedure takes an hour - i said so in the email - so i thought no one would be interested#and he just volunteered?? in the forms?? didn't even tell M - who introduced us - to ask me about it. no he volunteered as if he is actuall#interested in this#which i know he isn't bc i talk to him LOL#and like he does stuff like this all the time. like talk to me if he sees me alone - not just hi - he actually asks about stuff#he's watching an anime bc i recommended it to him. stuff like that#but maybe he's just that nice.#he also talks to my other girl friends like this ig#but we have more *moments* like once we seated together gossiping about his bff's love life LOL#idk#again maybe he's that nice. but then bad new's for my heart bc that is just the sweetest thing#ALSO HE'S SHY!!!!! LIKE BLACK CAT ENERGY!! IM A SUCKER FOR THAT#Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh#anyways omg im so sorry for this rant. this makes me think im overreacting#but idc
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Said he likes "crazy girls" but hates when I act "crazy" 🙄 takes two to talk.
#I used to think you were like me#you were attracted to the darkness#gaslight gatekeep girlblog#just girly things#girl blogger#im just a girl#cinnamon girl#girlblogger#girl interrupted#girlblog#girlblogging#hell is a teenage girl#violet harmon#american horror story#blood#morute#grunge#selfie#gossip girl#mean girls#girl blog#gaslight gatekeep girlboss#girl hysteria#girl interupted syndrome#girl thoughts#girlblog aesthetic#girlhood#girly stuff#pearl#maxine minx
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Disco Elysium Gothic and Lolita Tea Party Part 1: Klaasje and The Smoker LET'S GO BABYYYY!!!
I saw people doing EXCELLENT drawings of Harry Du Bois in lolita dresses and I'm obsessed! But why should he be the only one who partakes? What if EVERYONE gets a makeover and they have a big TEA PARTY!
My desk is now COVERED in Gothic and Lolita Bibles. No one is safe. Things are about to get FRILLY and FABULOUS. I did Klassje and The Smoker first at a request from my friend but I have sketched out many more already 3:)
More closeup pictures underneath...
#Disco Elysium Gothic and Lolita Tea Party#yes I know there's no tea depicted here#there are many tea cups in some of the other drawings I promise#my art#disco elysium#klaasje amandou#the smoker on the balcony#yes I'm still obsessed with Disco Elysium#I am having a wonderful time <3#Is it just me or is lolita fashion making a comeback? I hope so! It's so much easier to get stuff shipped from Japan than when I was a YOUT#I wanted to give Klaasje something cute and frilly but not PAGEANTY because been-there-done-that#so I drew something more gothic because it suits her and because I'm BIASED (as a goth)#Anyway they look very stylish but it is now time for me to draw big buff men in frilly dresses <3#I think my favourite sketch so far is Chester and Mack and Jules gossiping and drinking tea#So I guess I'll do that next#I just love these characters so much and this game#Everyone deserves to let loose and wear something FABULOUS!
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MK1 fanfiction
EDIT: now all chapters will be collected under the title of Cracked mirror of black, cold soul
No one asked for it, but as I did not get enough Bi-Han & Shang Tsung interaction, I was forced to write about them myself. The first part is at least done, we will see if I managed to finish the second. Mainly written as a character study of MK1!Shang Tsung, a bit about his relationship with Damashi, General Shao and potential partnership with Sub-Zero post story-mode.
There was a time when Shang Tsung was nothing more than just a pitiful loser clinging to an even more pathetic life. All he could do to survive was to pretend to be someone else, someone better, wiser; someone worthy of trust, someone people like and listen to. Lying to people was easy. Lying to himself anyone would care if he died came much harder and harder with each passing day.
Then came Damashi and offered him not only power but also kindness, a praise for making progress, be it for fulfilling her plans or for his own growing skills. He would gladly burn the world just to earn her smile, a good word, anything really. She made him for the first time in a long long time feel valued, appreciated, even liked despite who he was under all the polite words and charming smiles.
But that was a lie too. A lie he foolishly fell for, like a stray, hungry dog falls for a kind pat on the head and a little treat before the new owner will kick it for fun.
Shang Tsung was many things but definitely not a dog to be kicked, be it by Liu Kang or his Titan self. If none of the gods cared for him, he wouldn't care for them either. And now, after he ran away from prison and a terrifying storm washed him ashore on a deserted island full of magic secrets to unlock, he had time and means to repay each of his pursuers, to make all the realms if not respect his skills then fear them.
Since Damashi’s - his own Titan self’s - betrayal many days and nights have passed and with each Shang Tsung’s mastery of magic grew stronger, his knowledge deepened, his confidence restored and strengthened. He claimed the island as his new home, the impregnable fortress secured by the most wicked, devilish and brilliant traps he could think about and for the first time in ages, he finally felt like belonging to the right place.
It was as good a life as it could be. Not perfect, as Shang Tsung still needed to figure out how to secure his food supplies before he would tame the wild land, unused for years and maybe the animals lurking in the shadows could be useful too. A domestic cattle would be a great addition for sure, as it was the only type of animal he had any skill to maintain but then again, there was no way he would engage in tedious farming. He had no time nor patience for that kind of work yet he did not want any stranger on his island either. All he could do for now was to eat the catched fishes and some plucked from tree fruits while bringing all the needed ingredients and supplies from a quick trip to the land. Using magic portals was a tricky solution - magic brought unwanted attention and once used, always left some traits to follow but after the last storm he did not feel safe on a boat sailing through the open sea. On the land, he did run into some of his former allies, exchanged important news and some secrets here and there, never truly betraying where he was hiding. The General and his men treated Shang Tsung with suspicion, always demanding more than he offered. On the other hand, he and Quan Chi worked well in the past, but after the last betrayal, Shang Tsung couldn’t trust anyone anymore. Everyone blamed him for his Titan self’s lies, like he was the one lying to them all. The Royal Family wanted his head, the Earthrealm Champions hunted him too. It was a mess, amusing and irritating at the same time.
He was going to deal with that matter too, when the right time came. For now, Shang Tsung enjoyed the new found magic - the power awaiting for those who will dare to reach out for it. A power he didn’t need to share with anyone.
Everything would feel much better though if Sub-Zero didn’t somehow find a way to break into his new home like all the deviously set up traps meant nothing.
Shang Tsung should know something was off the moment he felt coldness creeping into his bones, but in all fairness, it was always cold here. He did not have yet an idea how to heat the interior of an abandoned fortress and as much as he liked to not freeze in his own sleep, luxury like that was not on his priority list. He should be more cautious, more focused on the change in the air about him than walking straight into his own room and then be dumstocked at the sight of Sub-Zero looking through his books as if he had lived here forever and Shang Tsung was the unwanted guest.
“Your security is shitty” was all he got as a greeting. Cold, sharp, uncaring words judging him as an incompetent idiot. The bastard did not even bother to look at him, just kept rummaging through the books like it was the only thing worth this attention.
Shang Tsung wasn’t sure what offended him more - being ignored or watching as his precious belongings were touched without his permission. He liked books way more than he liked people.
In the last few years he killed people for less than that yet he smiled his most charming smile, the gears in his head working fast and furious on how to turn the unpleasant situation for his own advantage. The fact that Sub-Zero allowed him to see himself in the open instead of lurking in the shadows to cut his throat gave Shang Tsung a reason for a bit of optimism. As far as he heard from his former, maybe-still-maybe-not allies, Lin Kuei rejected Liu Kang’s authority and were on their own. It of course did not mean that Sub-Zero was his friend or ally nor that he wouldn't murder Shang Tsung at the end of day, either to reconcile with Fire Lord or to bribe the god to let the Lin Kuei be in peace.
Shang Tsung couldn’t blame Bi-Han for that - in this cruel world, everyone was looking after their own best interest, but the vision of losing his life did not sit well with him at all. He wasn’t afraid of fighting and he did beat down great Champions in the last battle, but out of all opponents, it was Sub-Zero's ice axe that was the closest to beheading him for good.
He did not plan to forget that anytime soon.
“What an unexpected surprise,” he said, all the soft, so sweet smile, velvet voice and sharp eyes analyzing the danger standing before him. “What can I do for you, my friend? Or did you just miss my humble company?”
He teased with feigned innocence because men hated when he said ridiculous stuff like that. Shang Tsung hated it himself, because he knew no one would miss him at all.
“For one, drop the false politeness” came Sub-Zero’s cold reply, a mix of disapproval and command that Shang Tsung was so used to, because this was how people treated him, the real him, all his life. “We are not friends.”
There was a flare of anger in Shang Tsung now, the desire to prove himself the superior, not a pitiful dog anyone could kick and command - but he knew better than to allow this fire to burn inside him. Emotions were a weakness he couldn’t afford. Did the man even know how much he provoked the sorcerer with his cold disdain? Shang Tsung had no idea. He heard a lot of stories about Lin Kuei; even in the backwater hole from which he crawled out everyone heard the terrifying tales of Fire Lord’s secret army. Of the ice demons stealthier than shadows and more deadly than night itself and for a long time Shang Tsung did not think of them as living beings from this world.
Still… Sub-Zero was mortal, wasn’t he? A special one no doubt, with control over ice yet he could bleed too. Shang Tsung wondered for a moment what he could find under the fine, cold skin if he ever had a chance to look for the answer. An ice demon, human or hybrid of both?
“But we are still allies, aren’t we?” he asked, still polite and careful, yet walking up to the other man with his typical swagger. Not close enough to be in arm reach, but close enough to show he wasn’t that easily intimidated.
The great military hero of Edenia always looked down on his movements; how he fought, how he gesticulated, how he walked. No self-respecting soldier would walk like some pleased prostitute after a well-paid job, the General said not once nor twice and all Shang Tsung could do then was to smile the brightest smile and thank him, like his disdain was the best praise he heard that day. The only thing they really have in common, beside the desire to take down Sindel’s regime, was being self-made men for both worked hard to be who they were. Yet General came from an old, aristocratic family with even older military tradition and everything that did not fit his narrow-minded idea of the world was treated with hostility and contempt.
Shang Tsung’s skinny body, swagger, shrewdness, curiosity and wordiness unsurprisingly annoyed the great warrior and to say he took no pleasure in that fact would be a blatant lie. Even if it was childish and unproductive pleasure, it amused him to know how little effort he needed to test the patience of such a stern and manly man.
Sub-Zero reminded him a lot of Shao and he suspected it was the soldier thing; the body built for fight and hardship, no-nonse attitude and the way both men moved - with deadly precision and confidence only a person that in fact killed an enemy in battle could muster. Even the way they spoke sounded similar, a barked command that everyone around instinctively wanted to obey, either out of respect or fear.
For that similarity alone, Shang Tsung expected the Lin Kuei Grandmaster to snarl at him some nasty remark about how his Titan self betrayed them all and thus how little he himself was worth of anyone’s trust. Anything to put the sorcerer down even a bit, to remind him what a failure he was.
“That is yet to be seen” was all the Grandmaster said, finally glancing from the book to Shang Tsung.
It was hard to read anything from the man’s face, as half of it was hidden behind that damned Lin Kuei mask. All he could do was to rely on the move of a brew and the incantation of voice, each syllable, a moment of pause. It was a hard task, as the man showed no emotions and spoke so little so far. But the sorcerer knew there was anger, always lurking in each word spoken by Sub-Zero, but also… an excitement at finally being free of Liu Kang’s control. As Damashi foretold.
Shang Tsung couldn’t help but to think there was something much deeper about Damashi's interest in breaking Lin Kuei from Fire Lord than he ever suspected before. Back then the choice sounded logical - every action that would deprive Liu Kang of the advantage was worth taking so he did not question his benefactor. How could he, really? Now though? The truth burned him to the core and he learned the hard way that each of Damashi’s words had a hidden meaning, each action served a different goal than was promised; the victory he was in fact never part of. Yet… even the deepest shade of lie had a grain of truth. He knew that one well, for he lied all his life.
His Titan self for some reason wanted not so much the Lin Kuei itself as the Sub-Zero specifically on his side. Maybe more than Titan Shang Tsung even wanted his own younger self, corrupted by Liu Kang.
The mere thought made him want to curse all gods alike. There was no difference for him between Liu Kang and his Titan-self, as both played him like some pawn, not even an important figure. Just pawn, to hold away from power, to sacrifice it when times would come.
But there was more to it than just jealous anger and the never ending feeling of never being good enough. If Sub-Zero meant so much, if not in the grand scheme of things itself then just for personal satisfaction of Titan, then maybe he could be important to Shang Tsung’s own plans. Allies were hard to come by and these days he could use some, well, not protection really, he was done with living under someone else's wing but he wouldn’t say no to some partnership or at least casual support. The little favor here and there where things were still thick and troublesome to deal on your own. After all, freedom always came at some cost.
Maybe Sub-Zero came to the same conclusion and his unexpected visit was just a reconnaissance. They were more alike than one would think, as similar desires drove them into this madness of Titans. To prove their own might and skills to all those that looked down on them their whole life. But above everything else, to be free and powerful enough to keep that freedom.
To his own surprise, Shang Tsung took comfort in that thought.
If they were meant to stay allies - or as close two stubborn outcasts with grudge against gods could rely on each other, some sacrifices were to be made. Shang Tsung did something he rarely did - he dropped the false politeness under which he hid himself for years.
“How did you find me?” he asked Sub-Zero directly, raising his chin challengingly. He was not afraid of Lin Kuei, just curious.
“You are not as careful as you think you are” Bi-Han answered with no less challenging stare, yet the flick of an amusement in his eyes was unmistakable. Shang Tsung knew the man was smirking under that damned mask and that thought alone made him puff in anger.
The brown eyes shone even more.
Sub-Zero moved from his place, slowly walking from one bookshelf to another. His fingers traced books, never stopping at any particular volume, but always touching the book spines, like there was something interesting in their textures. The man did not pay attention to Shang Tsung and not really to books either. He was studying the room itself. The sorcerer couldn’t place why it bothered him so much but he knew better than to allow Sub-Zero to learn even the most trivial things about himself or his fortress.
Damashi warned him against that the first day when she spoke about Lin Kuei. They are thieves, the mysterious being said, all grace and patience and praise for the unwanted Shang Tsung who drank in her words like the wisdom of gods, who will steal your fortune, life and secrets. Always be on your guard around them, especially around the one named Sub-Zero. If only he was smarter back then, less in need to please his generous benefactor, maybe he could hear in her sweet voice the longing for something, someone, that was not anymore. For the old partnership that was broken and defiled by Liu Kang’s peaceful vision of the world. But he was a fool who thought her yearning was for him alone.
Shang Tsung was done with being played like a fool.
“Who told you about my island?” he demanded, voice still quiet yet no less burning with an old anger. He would get his answers, whatever kindly or by force.
A long sigh escaped Sub-Zero’s lips and frankly it took him out by surprise. Shang Tsung - or rather his Titan self - knew the man was running on frustration for years, but that sounded as a whole new level of annoyance.
“I heard about it from Havik, who heard that from Rain, who heard that from Reiko, who heard that from Shao, who heard about it from Quan Chi. But the whole Sun Do is full of similar gossip.”
For a moment none of them spoke. Shang Tsung stared at Sub-Zero’s impassive, half-hidden face that still somehow emanated his disgust at their maybe-allies-maybe-not-but-definitely-idiots who apparently couldn’t keep a secret to save their own life. The feeling was mutual, because this was the reason why the sorcerer hated working with others. No one apparently could keep their mouth shut down if you didn’t help make that permanently.
He closed eyes and rubbed his forehead, like that could ward off all the bad thoughts assaulting his mind right now. His fingers were cold, too cold for his liking, unpleasantly stiff and numb. He did not like how the mere presence of a cryomancer affected his body, how it made him shiver and weak. He was an Edenian for fuck’s sake, and Edenia did not even know what winter cold was. He did not know that himself, until Damashi led him to a snow-covered fortress and he almost freezed there the first night.
It took him a moment to realize something bad was happening. He couldn’t focus, all his senses dulled, body so clumsy and weak. As if his energy suddenly dropped to zero and fatigue was taking over. A flash of panic crossed his mind, but he was too tired, too cold to even be afraid for his life.
He had no idea how long he remained in the grip of this piercing soul frost. A few seconds? Days? He couldn’t even say. What mattered was that once the control of his senses came back, he was still alive and Sub-Zero gone.
And the fact the bastard stole a few of his precious scrolls and books.
***
The books showed up on his desk a few days later. There was no thank you or sorry about that note, not even the fuck you, loser. Shang Tsung both admired the man's boldness and hated him for it. Still he appreciated the books were returned in a good condition, as there was not a single scratch on any of them, not even a new page crease. He had no idea if that was some sort of weird Lin Kuei’s way to test him, disrespect or Sub-Zero took the books simply because he wanted to read them but he was a bastard with no sense of social politeness to just ask as any normal human being would. Damashi mentioned cryomancers were naturally difficult like that.
Shang Tsung had better things to do than to wonder what the check was wrong with Sub-Zero yet he was too curious for his own sake. Sadly, the titles alone did not say anything useful on the matter and even though he read each book just in case, there was hardly anything worth the time it took to finish them. No grand secrets revealed, no magic or military knowledge, not even historical value. Just some technical nonsense that bore him to death and if Sub-Zero was into stuff like that then no wonder the man lacked any social grace.
The Grandmaster of Lin Kuei so far did not try to kill him and returned the books so Shang Tsung decided to give him the benefit of doubt and so he did not cross out the man from the list of potential allies. It did not stop him however from improving the traps just in case the man decided to return solely to steal again.
***
The scrolls showed up on his desk three days later. Their appearance actually worried Shang Tsung, not just because the trap again turned out to be useless. He was not worried even by the possibility Sub-Zero found some secret entrance he did not know about yet. No, what worried him was the fact he spent the whole morning in his chamber and walked out for like twenty minutes at best and when he returned, the scrolls WERE. THERE.
That actually unnerved him much more than he wanted to admit.
The scrolls turned out to be written in a language Shang Tsung did not even know and the implication that Lin Kuei could read it only added to the feeling of cold unease. There was however a note left on the scrolls; a small paper with only Royal Army searching the coast written in Shang Tsung’s own language.
He was not afraid of empress Mileena’s army but he did appreciate the warning. Of course, the warning could be a fraud, a means to build trust only to betray him. The common sense advised caution yet there was a weird sense of peace within Shang Tsung. A hope or hunch, he did not know, but deep in his heart he felt everything was alright.
All he could do for now was wait to see if Sub-Zero will lead the enemy to his fortress or not. So he waited.
(The fact that another book disappeared with Sub-Zero did not surprise him much. Irritated, yes, but not worried. For some reason he felt everything was like it should be, like some almost forgotten memory of past life came back to him and the sense of deja vu was weirdly comforting.)
#mortal kombat#shang tsung#bi han#sub zero#cienie's fanfiction#and to think i started to write if for the cat propaganda that i did not use yet lol#i'm here for#bi han and shang tsung#relationship colored by various source material#sub zero's love for ancient scrolls full of secret knowledge though in this fic he steals stuff for sektor's project from the mk1 ending#and how he get inside a highly secured places#and don't tell me i'm the only one to think damashi was special person to shang tsung#also lol at how all of the bad guys gossip no one in mk cast know what secret means or what? XD#as for bi han's powers i was inspired by mk book i guess#and it turned out like he changed the ambient temperature unnoticed until it was too late and then get the hell away with books XD
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Ty for 400!
It may be 1:30am, but honestly, I just felt like I wanted to write this. Thank you for 400 followers!! That's crazy. I'm super thankful, and honestly, it means a lot to me! <3 super excited for more to come, I hope my moodboards rn are up to standards!
I'm not tagging anyone this time since I don't want to disturb everyone every time I write one of these. Just know all my mooties and idols r amazing, and I love them. You guys know who you are, ily 💕
Just a boring text post for this milestone post cuz I can't be bothered rn ahh
Teeny Itty bitty vent in tags since I can't get my life tghtr rn erm! Don't feel pressured to read it, idrc ig?? 😭😭
#lil vent i will most def regret in the morning#im not quitting just tired ig? social media and my lack of motivation r just dragging me thru the mud brutally and thats why im slow postin#i literally cannot handle seeing pepple from discord that despise me from when i used to gossip and a bunch of stuff on there#im gonna prob delete the song req stuff in my inbox. im so done w it. js like the event prizes#i want to still provide the full prizes#but its so much work and im unmotivated so ill do it eventually :(#i dont rlly think ill makr an event anyrime soon cuz it kind sucks aaahh#my moots nd friends on here the only reason i havent quit bc im burnt out by myself i only live off the interactions i have on here#i dont know what else to say i just wanna like forget any accounts on anywhere from me every existed cuz im not a good decision maker at al#i'll be normal in the morning probably hahaaha#tysm for the support anyway
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I'm just figuring out how important music is in my life! This is coming from a long while trying to cut down on my music use, mostly because I was listening to it so much that it felt more like I couldn't do anything without popping in some earbuds, and partially because of other personal reasons. Some of my routines changed, forcing me to not listen to music while doing certain things, and it ended up becoming that besides working on homework or drawing, I didn't listen to music at all. But I've given myself a break today since I have nothing to do and since, for reasons, I'm feeling just a lil crappy today—and boy, I'm starting to realize again just why I love music!!
I love the diverse music taste I've developed over the years! My family is not only big about music but big about listening to it loud, so the majority of my music taste for most of my life has just been Christian hiphop (Lecrae, KB, Andy Mineo, Trip Lee, and ironically Tonex, whose album where he was struggling hard with his gayness has been my favorite concert movie since I was 5) and gospel music (Kirk Franklin, Tye Tribbett, etc.). And music was one of the few connections between me and my race (I grew up feeling pretty estranged from my blackness as a kid, but the popular songs they played at the YMCA in the 2010s were some of the few things I could use to feel more connected) and between me and my classmates/friends at the Y (I still have fond memories of playing FNAF songs in mat forts and reciting lyrics at pool parties). But I got tired of knowing I could never bond with anyone besides family friends music taste-wise when I was in high school, and so I started listening to secular music on my own time. And that's how I first found Ghost and Pals, a vocaloid artist and one of the first secular music folks I listened to as a kid (can you smell the religious trauma yet? Lol), and that's how I bonded with one of my best friends in early college (ironically, also my first time being publically queer). Now I listen to Kpop, anime songs, songs from warriors MAPs, songs from musicals (Hamilton and In the Heights <3), latin songs, metal songs, and even some secular songs young me would've been too scared to listen to.
And music has always been one of my biggest sources of stimming! I can't dance to save my life, but music will sure get me to flick my fingers and hit my fist against my shoulder furiously. Music was one of the first clues that I like stimming with vibration too (since I love laying against the car door and turning up the music loud enough to feel the world shake around me). And music was one of the first things that made me look into ADHD or autism (specifically, listening to Ghost and Pals songs for a month straight and getting my friend at early college [who also has ADHD] to start looking at me funny when I was discovered doing chores and listening to one of three songs for the fifth time). Music is so cool it'll get me to wax poetically. It was one of the things that kept me together during my roughest times and soothed me during my best. I listen to it while I write, while I cry, while I hang out with my friends and family and while I chill by myself. It's how I relax after a long day, and it's how I feel safe. I feel kinda emotional finally having music hit that spot in me without feeling like I need it to do stuff.
#songs listened to while writing this post:#Tell Your Girlfriend by Lay Bankz#Get Up (Live) by Tye Tribbett#the Oshi no Ko OP song for season 1 (by Yoasobi) - which I ironically found before getting into Oshi no Ko#Waterfalls Coming Out Your Mouth by Glass Animals#Como Fue by 116#Creator (a Minecraft song I picked up from my college friend J)#The Ultimate Soldier (Evangelion)#Reckless Battery Burns by Ghost and Pals#Uncanny x Deathbody remix by Ghost and Pals#Watch Me Work (Trolls 3)#Mount Rageous (Trolls 3)#Better Place (Trolls 3)#Hayloft 2 by Mother Mother#Hayloft 2 Smashup by Mother Mother#Don't You Worry About a Thing (the Sing movie)#Mama by My Chemical Romance (found through a warriors MAP [yes the one you're thinking of])#Gossip by Måneskin#Looking at my playlists getting more and more secular songs feels like healing#but I also love that I can still listen to gospel hiphop or gospel music without feeling ashamed or (completely) embarrassed#(except for Bizzle but that was always more of my dad's music taste anyway)#also yes I have tinnitus how could you guess? Haha but for real it feels like an okay sacrifice to me (more like a battle wound for loving#music so much - but everyone else please use ear protection if you can! Tinnitus doesn't bother me too much but it could you!)#fenn rambles#gonna use this tag for my favorite rants and rambles that I'm most proud of hehe#(also this is an excuse to not leave some non-alterhuman-themed or non-neopronouns-themed stuff untagged >:3)#music#(also I went to a KB concert recently and it was HYPE)#(and I went to Winter Jam in Mobile and it was legitimately one of the best concert experiences in my life - Lecrae >>>>#love his new album hehehe)
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honestly Adaine is so good at clarifying/directing Ayda socially that it begins to circle back to a dynamic of like, Ayda saying "i don't know or understand these rules" and Adaine responding "have no fear, I've been carefully studying and manually interfacing with these for years, I will explain:" in a way that to me is so autism4autism
#N posts stuff#like Ayda feels like someone who has spent most of her life alone / with adults and so lacks any context at all for socializing with Peers#she's good at Information (bc she's a librarian) and communicating Facts (bc likely most of her socializing has been helping#with research in one way or another on Leviathan) BUT she struggles a lot more with like#friendly gossip and flirting and boundaries <- because she's never interfaced much with people her own age so it's like being lost at sea#BUT Adaine to me at a certain point Stops reading to me as 'Neurotypical who intuits the rules and is just good at explaining them'#and becomes 'autistic with a special interest in social rules/dynamics' and it's less 'i grew up speaking this language natively'#and WAY MORE 'i've been studying this language intentionally for many years so I can help clarify and give you advice'#and i Love That for them I love when they're talking in Hellbound and Adaine is like 'oh lovely! do you have notes on this social phenom?'#because she's 100% canonically the autistic person who is taking notes on social cues (outright in Daddies&Demons) and is like#'Excellent. Surely with these I am going to get a good grade in Social Conversation.'#Autism win! You and the Librarian on a pirate ship have become Best Friends who think each other are SO cool and lovely and kind <3#d20lb#fhsy#d20: bad kids
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#i dont think i’ve talked my nonverbal!Diluc hc on here yet#but i keep seeing posts abt disability/chronjcally ill/neurodivergent hcs for genshin characters so here’s one from me#idk i feel like after That Night™️ and being on the run from the Fatui/working with a secret organization#diluc not just learns the ‘value’ of keeping secrets and staying quiet but also internalizes his guilt and trauma of saying smth that could#hurt people#it started with him telling Kaeya that he’s not a Ragnvindr anymore and then is exacerbated by his 3-4 Year Fatui Murder Rampage thru Teyvat#and with all ghat trauma and self-deprecation and paranoia he just. stops talking.#he picks up sign language in Fontaine and still writes but at some point he just stops talking and never speaks again#when he comes back to Mondstadt it was hard to adjust to for both him and the people around him#Kaeya initially assumes that Diluc just refuses to talk to him until he later hears gossip abt how no one has ever heard him speak since he#came back. he goes to Adelinde and/or Elzer abt it and they tell him that they neve even hear Diluc so much as hum or grunt#afterwards everyone changes up real fast— Kaeya and Venti drinking at the bar and seemingly just talking at Diluc but they’re always#observing his reactions and body language even when they’re drunk#Jean tries her best to be patient but she has a hard time reading him bc he’s changed so much in the time he’s been gone#Adelinde & Elzer and the winery staff are the most communicative he’s with— Diluc is far more likely to write with them to communicate#at some point Diluc has a business meeting with some rich dude from Fontaine or smth#Kaeya walks in bc he has an actual important mission thinf to discuss and he sees Diluc and this Fontaine dude and the dude’s wife#moving their hands so fast and with all kinds of gestured and stuff#and it’s the first time Kaeya sees Diluc look so EXPRESSIVE— he’s frowning and raising his eyebrows and mouthing words and all this#and Kaeya just goes ‘what’#turns out the Fontainian dude is deaf and both him and his hearing wife know sign; she helps interpret this to kaeya for the dude and Diluc#and Kaeya is like ‘oh okay’ and goes to the kitchen like ‘i’ll just wait here till yall are finished’#and he sees Adelinde and Elzer there with stoic faces and they just. stand there in quiet for so long.#Kaeya finally says ‘…..so. sign language huh’ and Adelinde and Elzer have the most pained looks on their faces#later that week Diluc finds like everyone around suddenly doing basic signs with him#he later learns that the winery has ordered a shitton of signing books from Fontaine and are trying to learn#+ Kaeya and Jean too with help from Lisa bc like dont you know learning several languages is a requirement for graduation from the Akademiya#soon the use of sign starts spreading in Mondstadt— there might be some small communities where they have their own native sign but it’s not#as standardized nor widely known as it is in Fontaine#this is getting really long so I’ll stop here but yeah. nonverbal Diluc who signs fjskdjs
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b99 Doodles (Terry & Holt have an underratedly sweet friendship)
#b99#Kevin Cozner#Raymond Holt#that stuff about their families are just my headcanons of course#Holt seems like a perfectionist...student government + debate club + founded the first LGBT club unofficially + Top of his class + Volunteer#work and tutoring on weekends#Meanwhile Kevin was skipping school to read shakespeare or go see an old film and think about how much he wanted to get out of this#NIGHTMARE suburb...#Kevin seems like he stopped being angsty and mad only once he got to college and was able to be himself more authentically#I think Debbie does something where she talks to a lot of people as a job - like a receptionist. Something where she can be friendly and get#a lot of gossip...she was also involved in a lot of clubs and afterschool activities...powerhouses those Holts#Debbie appeared in ONE episode and yet she was so sweet in that ep v_v literally got cheated on but was like 'oh my god!!! No don't worry#about me - I'll be alright - I don't wanna stress you out!!' ...obviously loves her brother a lot <3#b99 fanart
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the older i get the more i wanna hang out with my parents more than my friends like am i just a loser or am i just a devoted and mature daughter or am i just both and is this a good sign or what
#my friend sent me a restaurant she wants to try#and my immediate thought was#omg this would be so fun to go to with my parents for lunch when my siblings are at school#we can just sit and gossip ab stuff#like 😭#idk do i stay home too much#i dont think i do#i feel like im out and about often enough#am i becoming lame
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#one of my only friends who will vent and bitch about stuff w me just told me she ‘doesn’t gossip anymore’#am I the only person left on earth who thinks gossiping is not only vital to survival but genuinely not morally wrong#like to me it doesn’t mean like spreading rumors it’s just like debriefing events???#whatever guess I’ll just kms
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Luv how I'm an sdv shane fan but I do not give a single darn abt coral island mark
#granted when i end up playing the sdv update ill probably marry emily or Sebastian lmao#Sebastian fans ya got me ive been indoctrinated#honestly i think that tracks considering i ended up marrying wakuu in coral island#hmm smart bois w/ daddy issues hmm 🤔 is there a pattern? idk.#anyways i want to talk more abt coral island but. idk im so solitary abt my gaming?#i wanna info dump and share but im nervous lmao#maybe becos the fandom is so small and i dont see a lot of ppl posting abt it#like hcs and fics and stuff#so im nervous to open up aaa ;;;#maybe ill start in my comfort zone and make some art#OH id love to draw wakuu or millie......thats an idea#anyway hi hello ur reading my tags whats up#how's ur day going who did you marry in coral island#tell me abt it (im laying on my stomach kicking my legs like im gossiping at a slumber party)#scout.txt
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