#they eat their eggs sunny side up

[shimmering-spoon]

[thegreatestheaver]

does nyanyone else eat eggs whole or am i just that big backed

[inflammatory]

Keeping the phrase “dirty bulk” in your mind will have you eating truly unspeakable things at 12am

[crehador]

think we can add mayo on sunny side up egg to food crimes georg's rap sheet. vertical pizza. candy apple incident. and now this

[omomriii]

maturing is realizing eating the yolk isnt so bad i think

[twilit-tragedy]

Sucks that I can drink a fuckton of water and an expresso to up my blood pressure before trying to donate blood, but I can't speedrun hemoglobin. Consuming iron AND vitamin C? A big of a struggle ngl. Watch me be denied for donation in an hour and the doctor on-site tell me - again - to eat more red meat "not well-done" 🤢. My man, I'll eat spinach and medium meat and you're LUCKY. If I wanted to destroy my TMJs faster than I already am I'd find nicer stuff to chew than raw fucking meat.

[ironbite4]

mmmmm...sunny side up fried in bacon fat.

reblog with your egg thoughts im curiouse ... bc i know eggs are very divisive esp with autistic folks . give me egg propaganda idc i love thoughts

[undyinglantern]

let it be known i limit myself to 2 eggs per day otherwise id be eating double that on a regular basis

[serene-sapphic]

bro have you guys ever tried sunny side up eggs.

[wtfuckevenknows]

Cucumber from the garden on chive cream cheese Brötchen and a fucking Leberkässemmel 😩❤️

[writtenbymoonflower]

how about

and hear me out

room mate! marauders who are obsessed with their shy roomate

oh trust me, hunny, i am hearing you. hope this is okay! shy gn!reader x poly!marauders

cw: nothing really, just fluff, reader is very flustered

1.1k words

Your eyes were blurry as you shuffled into the sunny kitchen. You weren’t used to waking up to the curtains open and breakfast on the stove. You’d lived with people before of course, but none as lively as this bunch. You weren’t complaining, though, you were quickly warming to them, even though you had probably spoken a total of 50 words to your new housemates in the three weeks you had lived with them. Most of these words likely consisting of sorry, excuse me, thank you. 

They had been talking though. Ever since the day you met they had been treating you like their best friend. Not even that. They were all best friends. (Though you considered that wasn’t all, on more than one occasion you had caught Sirius with his head in James’ lap, or Remus’ legs swung over one of the other boys. You had also observed a fair number of kisses between the three boys). But rather, they treated you like something precious, like a porcelain doll they were begging to get a hold of.

That thought made you immediately think of the nickname Sirius (or ‘Pads’ as the boys occasionally called him) had stuck you with. 

“Hey, dollface! You sleep well?” The coal-haired boy looked like he was itching to beckon you under his arm, but resisted. You were thankful, not knowing if you could survive that.

“It was good.” You hummed, barely legible to James over the sound of his bacon sizzling. You padded over to the breakfast table, sitting one chair away from Sirius and his huge bowl of cereal. No sooner had you sat down when a steaming cup of coffee was placed in front of you by a spindly hand. 

“Here you go, dovey.” Remus sat in the chair between you and Sirius. 

“Oi, Moons. You’re blocking my view.” You turned in your chair to look behind you at the ‘view’ he was referring to, brows scrunching in confusion when all you saw was the archway. You heard a light chuckle from Remus and a snicker from Sirius as you whipped back around. The possible meaning dawned on you, making you his your heated face in your mug.

“Don’t torture the poor thing.” James scolded, giving a (what you were sure he believed was comforting) squeeze to your shoulder before he sat on your other side.

“I never tortured anyone.” Remus corrected from behind his morning paper, slowly eating a cup of berry-yogurt. “Collective punishment is a war crime, Prongs” 

“Leavin’ me to the wolves huh, Moons?” Sirius sassed, sipping on his coffee that was mostly just cream and sugar. 

“Oh trust me, I’m sure we all know how much you’d love to be left to the wolf.” James smirked, clearly in on a joke that you had no idea about. He abandoned his teasing to turn to you, fixing a horribly kind look that made your tummy turn to mush. “There is some bacon and eggs on the stove for breakfast, but I’m sure Sirius would let you into his cereal.” 

“There’s also yogurt.” Remus looked pointedly to his near-empty cup. 

“Oh no, I’m okay. I could never take your food. I’m not hungry anyway.” You muttered into your mug. 

“You’ve gotta eat somethin’ babydoll. Can’t have you skipping meals.” Sirius had a playful, if not protective tilt to his tone. 

“I’ll find somethin’ don’t worry.” You scrubbed your bleary eyes with irritated cadence, still on the brink of sleep despite the warm caffeine swirling in your system. Thick fingers wrapped around your wrist to pull your offending hand away. 

“Gentle, sweetheart.” James scolded lightly. “Gonna hurt yourself like that.” He squeezed your hand before letting it go but it felt oddly like your face and your lungs were being squeezed as well. If this was the boys normal, you weren’t sure if you were going to survive. 

You mumbled a sorry looking at the mahogany table like it held the meaning of life, or the extra hour of sleep you desperately craved. 

“What’ve we told you? You say sorry too much, sweet thing. It’s like, your favorite word or something.” Sirius laughed, slurping down his cereal milk and licking his chops. You bit back another apology and rubbed your eyes again, though much more gentle this time. James cooed in sympathy. 

“You still sleepy?” He rubbed your back again, which made you both more heated and more drowsy. 

“Yeah.” You hummed, shamefaced as you played with the hem of your oversized t-shirt. You were thankful that you were still too shy to not wear long pants around them, because they would definitely be able to tell how tensed your legs were. Remus set his paper down.

“Do you have work today, love?” 

“No, ‘s my day off.” James grinned at that, but Sirius spoke up. 

“Happy coincidence! It’s ours too.” He grinned. “How about we all watch something? We can put something on in the lounge room and you can catch a bit of sleep on the settee?” He suggested. You shrunk at the thought of sleeping in front of them, but weren’t opposed to the idea.

“We’ll make sure to wake you up so you don’t sleep the day away.” James added, still rubbing your back. You were easily convinced. 

“Okay, that does sound nice.” Barely above a whisper. 

“We can all have a big lunch when you get up, too. Maybe we could go out?” Remus suggested as he led you gently to the living room. You tried to make your way to the armchair, but you were tugged to the couch. 

“That won’t be comfy, dollface. Here you go.” Sirius sat on the settee close to one arm, Remus by the other. Sirius pulled you between them while James sat on the floor and you whined in protest. 

“No, I’ll move. You sit here, James.”

Remus swore that was the loudest he had ever heard you speak. 

“No, I’m good right here. Thanks though, sweetness.” James reassured. He was sat in the middle, though rather close to Remus so the mousy boy could reach out with one hand and scratch James’ scalp, roving his long fingers through the thick curls. You were so distracted that you were startled when Sirius tugged on you again, maneuvering your head onto a pillow that laid on his lap. You tensed before relaxing into his warmth. You tucked your legs into yourself as Remus covered you with a blanket before going back to loving on James. 

“There you go, baby. That feel nice?” Sirius said, unfamiliarly soft as he stroked your hair, hand a welcome warmth on your scalp. 

Baby. Baby. Baby.

It would surprise you if you woke up from this nap. Your heart had nearly stopped on the spot.

[thursdays-adult]

Being a picky eater is damn difficult when you don’t want other people to find out. I keep finding myself in situations where I have to pretend to enjoy food that to me is absolutely repulsive.  

[wttcsms]

fwb to lovers where he’s actually a sweetheart & ur a bit of a mess. after giving u the greatest dick of your life, you decide to reciprocate his kindness by making him breakfast - specifically, eggs.

except you’re a horrible cook in the morning & he’s too nice (and whipped for you) to say anything bad. you cook him scrambled eggs and there are shells in them (“it’s ok, baby. i like the crunch!” he tells you), you try to make him an omelette and it’s all weird and runny and kinda scrambled actually (“yum! you made the omelette easier to eat. goes down easier this way. speaking of going down on someone…”), you do sunny side up eggs and they’re still raw (“extra protein this way, right?”), and throughout this whole ordeal, the two of you realize this is oddly intimate. sharing a (somewhat horribly cooked) breakfast together. and at the very end of the fic, you’re cooking eggs for breakfast again and your kids are gobbling it up + your husband, your former fwb, has a crinkle around his eyes when he smiles and tells them, “yknow, your mom used to cook me eggs in the morning all the time.” he goes on to talk abt the shells in his eggs, the raw eggs, all of it. the kids are making faces and ask him what’d he do about it.

“i married her, obviously. she couldn’t get it right for a while, but i could tell she made it with love every single time. i wasn’t lying when i told her they tasted great.”

[thelovelybitten]

things I never say — 180

I ate a piece of moldy bread this morning without warning and now my day is ruined. I now have mold in my system and a chest cold. NOT IT gamers. NOT IT.

[wall-eye]

We've unlocked a old safe food again lads 💪

[wolfythewitch]

My dad's been cooking this sort of cylindrical puck like egg that you find in those mcmuffins or something because it's "healthier" and my mom thinks I refuse to eat it because it's less oily but she doesn't understand that I would rather chew on a hockey puck than put that rubbery bastardized disc of an egg into my mouth and feel it's coagulated contents slide down my throat in mockery of a sunny side up