#they dont know about the ancient horrors

[draconic-distress]

Inktober Day 31: Halloween!

thank squod, october is over! Here's a funny fic of the children again for the final day :) spoilers for the splatoon 3 story mode btw, enjoy!

as always, credit for the prompts goes to @tidalknave

And that’s when the monster creeped up behind him—!”

“Aw boooo,” Pix groaned, slumping over dramatically. “Not this one again!”

“You tell this story every year; Reef,”—DJ rested his head on one fist, his leg bouncing a bit as he spoke—“Don’t you have anything else?”

Reef flicked off the flashlight in xir hand and crossed xir arms. “Well it’s not like anyone else has any stories.”

“I have a story.”

The group turned to Kaiden, who’d been sitting quietly with its small fry buddy Jorge up until now. Kaiden wasn’t exactly the creative type, so having a spooky story to tell was new for them. 

“Alright, the floor is yours, bud,”—Reef threw the flashlight to xir teammate—“This better be good.”

“Don’t worry, it will be,” Kaiden hopped up onto its feet, Jorge on their shoulders. They flicked the flashlight on and held it below their chin.

“A long long LONG time ago,” they began. “Before inklings and octolings, there were humans!”

“This is gonna be some cheesy sci-fi story, isn’t it?” Reef interjected.

“Shush!”—Pix pushed Reef aside, leaning close and holding her pointy hat—“I wanna hear the rest!”

“Ok ok,” Kaiden continued. “So humans. They used to be the dominant species. But one day, the world turned against them! Volcanoes! Floods! Meteors! Pew pew! Pfffssssh! Booom! Aaah!”

The octoling waved their hands for dramatic affect as they added their sound effects, Jorge gargling for emphasis, earning a laugh from their friends.

“When all of it ended, humanity was basically extinct. All the survivors escaped to the underground in domes to hide from the broken world.”

“Like the octarian kettles?” DJ tilted his head; he didn’t know much about the domes, having grown up in the deep.

“Exactly!”—Kaiden pointed to its friend before continuing—“Anyways, the humans started building a life for themselves underground, and called their new home Alterna. 

“They started 3D printing all their favorite things, like trees and big, funny-looking heads made outta stone! And then we started putting ‘em in our lockers!”—Another laugh from the rest of the group—“and you wanna know what else? They found sea creatures, and started farming them!”

“I bet they wanted to know how we got so fresh,” Pix pulled one of her dorky cute poses, more giggling ensuing.

“Nuh-uh! They harvested us to EAT US!!” Kaiden growled, circling their friends who flinched as they screamed. “Turn fish’s scales into bags and ink sacs into mind-reading crystals!

“But even then, the humans wanted more and more! They built a big rocket, and planned to escape the dome, but it exploded, killing all the humans left and shattering the dome, which was covered in those crystals! 

“They dissolved into the waters they kept the sea creatures in, and little by little, they infused them with humanity’s essence. Their culture, their fashions, and one goal: to see the sky.

“Inkling society isn’t built on new and fresh ideas, it’s built on the ancient past. We are the remains of humanity, we are the INFERIOR SPECIES!!”

The sound of lightning echoed across the dark, cloudy sky as Kaiden finished their story, Jorge completing with a little ‘dun-dun-DUUN’. The rest of the group leaned in closer with distorted faces, fearful yet no less intrigued.

“Woah…” Pix mumbled at last. “That’s so COOL!! It’s creepy and I LOVE IT!!”

“So we’re, like, the next evolution of humans?” Reef rolled and crinkled xir white sheets xir hands.

“Basically, yeah!” Kaiden concluded, switching off the flashlight and flopping back down to sit with their friends. “Pretty cool, huh?”

“Yeah,”—DJ gripped the frilly edges of his shirt sleeves, glancing between the others, who seemed to have the same thought—“it’s not real, is it…?”

“Maybe it is,” Kaiden shrugged, readjusting their fuzzy eared headband. “Maybe it’s not, who knows?”

“Well whatever,”—Pix stood up from her spot on the floor, dusting off her dress—“the Splatoween festival’s gonna start soon, let’s go so we don’t miss it!”

The rest of the group hurried along with Pix, heading for the Splatsville square to enjoy the autumn festivities. Kaiden hopped back up, Jorge in his little pumpkin costume on its shoulder. They leaned in closed and whispered to their little buddy:

“They don’t know about the ancient horrors.”

“Kaiden c’mon!” Pix called out from beyond the alleyway. “It’s gonna start any minute!”

“Coming!” It returned, running along to meet up with its friends.

The other didn’t need to believe the story, there were some parts that even Kaiden didn’t believe itself. But it was all in good fun, and it’s not like O.R.C.A. was gonna find out that they told their friends. Scary stories were the best part of Splatoween, and Kaiden was happy they finally had one to tell.

I mean, it’s not like humans are gonna rise from the dead and take over the world again… right?