#they don't even need to friend you like on facebook or anything
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yes, and? - G Dragon/Kwon Jiyong
Pairing: sibling!jiyong x sibling!reader (both idols) Summary: your older brother is your hero
☆*: .。. eternal sunshine masterlist .。.:*☆
"My face is sitting, I don't need no disguise (I don't need no disguise). Don't comment on my body, do not reply. Your business is yours, and mine is mine. Why do you care so much whose dick I ride? Why?"
Ever since you debuted with your group, DAWN, Jiyong made sure everyone knew how proud he was of you. He'd actively post stories using your songs to get the hype it deserves, he'd post pictures of you on his Instagram, and he'd even mention you a lot in interviews.
But of course, being THE G-Dragon's little sister isn't all sunshine and rainbows. There was a lot of scrutiny when you debuted, and you mostly blamed yourself for all the negative attention DAWN received. No one blamed you, but you felt responsible for it. You never told Jiyong, but he knew what was happening. He was your brother, after all.
He made a secret account that no one knew about and joined a Discord server, a DAWN subreddit, DAWN Tumblr communities, Facebook groups, Twitter group chats, etc. Everyone seemed to hate you all because everyone thought your talents weren't up to par with Jiyong.
Jiyong watched you grow into a woman you weren't meant to be. He always saw you as outgoing and growing into your features and talent. But because of the hate, you just became... hollow. It saddened him deeply. He saw the spark in your eyes vanish as years pass and he noticed how you're more quiet compared to when you debuted.
It wasn't until he read the comments on your Instagram pictures that he finally threw a fit in front of his best friends.
"Get a load of this bullshit: y/n pls get plastic surgery bc there's something wrong with your face. How could someone say that?!" Jiyong exclaimed angrily, continuing to scroll down.
"Jiyong, don't make yourself angry by reading those." Seunghyun warns him. "You're not getting any younger; you might get high blood pressure. Calm down."
"I don't care! They shouldn't talk about my sister that way." Jiyong sighed angrily.
"Well, you can address it in your interview. It's tomorrow, right? Just address it there." Youngbae suggested.
So, that's what he did. He just had to wait for the right time to say it. The right time came when the interviewer asked about you. It was then that he unleashed his anger and annoyance towards all of it.
"What's it like seeing your sister being an idol like you?"
"It's great! I just don't like seeing the hate she gets. It's so unnecessary! I read all of it. She's just nice enough to not tell me anything. Everything people say about her are so hurtful. They don't know that it hurts me too because I'm her brother." Jiyong said.
"I'm sure it does." The interviewer nodded. "But how do you feel about Y/N dating a BTS member when she was just dating Park Bo-gum not too long ago?"
Jiyong rolled his eyes, "That's her business, neither mine nor everyone else's. She can date whoever she wants to date. My only concern is if they treat her right. She's young, but she's also an adult. She can handle herself. I'll only interfere if she asks me for help."
"Is it true that Y/N got a nose job?"
"Alright, let me make this clear: she never got anything done. It also hurts mine and my family's feelings that people are actively telling her to fix her face. Why would she do that? If any of you really look at her, we look alike. Telling her to get her face done is like telling me to get my face done. And why would we do that, when we look like a mix of our parents? That's like telling us our parents are ugly." Jiyong explained.
"If she gets plastic surgery, what happens then? Will everyone be happy? Of course not. They'll find a new thing to hate on her. The other day pictures of her sitting down at a cafe while eating with her date went viral. I thought it was because she was on a date, which is ridiculous to be viral for in the first place, but turns out, she went viral because of her body roll. That's insane! Everyone has that. It's normal! When are we all going to stop policing people for having a normal body? She also got viral for having cellulite. I mean, come on! It's insane to hate a little girl so much."
"Little girl?"
Jiyong closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose, "Sorry. Sometimes, I still see her as my 5-year-old sister who did nothing but dance. She's very sweet and she doesn't deserve all of those things."
Jiyong got a lot of pats on the back and he got praised for being a good brother, but the only person he wanted to hear from was you. When you called him in the middle of the night, he immediately answered.
"Y/N?" His voice a bit hoarse from being tired all day.
"Thank you." You said after a moment of silence. Jiyong smiled to himself and said, "You're my sister, Y/N. I have to set an example for you. I will defend you until my last breath, okay? I have your back."
"And I have yours." You said softly. Jiyong grinned, "Just know that everyday, I'm so grateful to be your older brother."
"I don't know how to cope with all of it." You cried.
His heart broke. "Y/N, don't listen to anything you hear and don't absorb anything you read. Their opinions don't matter because what matters is what you think. But I'm afraid I'm gonna have to nag you about a few things. Like, don't get plastic surgery and don't reply to whatever comment people have about your body. I'm going to be strict with those. It's your business, anyway."
"That's true. I mean, why do they care about who I ride, anyway?"
"Okay, that's-" Jiyong coughed. "I did NOT need to know that, but that's, uh, that's true. Why do they care, anyway? They're just jealous it's you and not them."
You chuckled, wiping your tears. "Love you, Jiyong."
"I love you too." He smiled. "Now, it's time for you to come clean. I just want to know- who are you really dating?"
"JIYONG!!!"
"I mean, I just want to know if I have a new brother-in-law!"
-
a/n: whoever reads this, i love you. pls be kind to yourself. pls allow yourself to grow into your features before getting poked and prodded by needles and all <3
permanent taglist: @redhoodedtoad @billiesiousji @hayd3n8 @sherrayyyyy @ldydeath @wcnderlnds @infinetlyforgotten @emmiesoverthemoon @breakmeoff @sayugarper @gdinthehouseee
jiyong taglist: @loveesiren @aizshallnotbefound
eternal sunshine taglist: @sevendaysummer @sherxoo @whotfiscamellia @multifanxtvshows @patheticgirl127 @amyyforshort @sylviavf @steponupbabe @galgal-egg
#k's works#k's eternal sunshine#g dragon#g dragon x reader#g-dragon#g-dragon x reader#kwon jiyong#kwon jiyong x reader#kwon ji yong#kwon ji yong x reader#kwon ji-yong#kwon ji-yong x reader#gd#bigbang#gd bigbang#gd x reader
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When did we become so bad at basic internet safety??
Like, y'know, staying anon on the net.
I wanted to check the opening time of a local pharmacy on Google Maps. Pretty innocent, right? Then I discovered that there's a children's playhouse next to it and I was like "huh, when did they build that?" I mean it's on the edge of the city, I wouldn't even go to this location if the other pharmacies had my stuff according to the website, but they don't. Alas, I click on the playhouse to see how it looks like (and if I'll have to go around it or something) and... a little boy riding a toy horse is looking back at me. He's pretty close too, this is clearly a personal video and I cannot see anything from the building itself. Fueled by curiosity, I swipe away. Lots of personal pictures, less pictures showing off the inner layout of building itself. And how many people cared to hide the faces of their kids on this picture? ONE. Also they're the only one with a fake account name. All these people, with their own, real name uploaded lots of personal pictures about their young (sometimes so young they just started to crawl) kids into Google Maps as Local Guides. Like... they know that their pictures are public, right? RIGHT???
#Do they just mindlessly hit okay whenever Google asks them if they want to upload pictures from all the places they went to??#idk something just shifted uncomfortably in my heart#it feels wrong to look at all these kids#I just wanted to know if this thing is built into the building of the pharmacy or is it a standalone#personal#Kay talks#I'm so glad I don't have kids#but even if I had kids I would never do this especially now that we have AI#just imagine what strangers could do with those pictures#the yikes-concentration is off the charts#just fucking stop sharing your kids' photos on a website where anyone from anywhere can access them anytime#they don't even need to friend you like on facebook or anything
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Might I give some advice:
Not everyone has (or needs to have) the energy to thoughtfully respond to republicans on the Internet. You do not have to do that.
But some people do, and can. And I think we gotta let them.
An example:
I have a former teacher, I'll call her Grace, who is an incredibly kind woman in her 70s. Devout catholic, had voted for various parties over the years, but has been pretty strictly democrat over the past 15-20 because that aligns with her values of kindness and service.
She shared a post about the pope's recent letter and expressed that she agreed with his concerns about how trump is treating immigrants. A friend of hers commented a long paragraph basically saying "dear Grace I care for you but I don't understand how you can be a Christian and a democrat. Blah blah abortion blah blah gender blah blah drugs."
Grace replied "I'm very busy right now but I am going to respond to you soon with my thoughts". When she did it was an incredibly generous, rational monologue that connected with this person's humanity, their shared religious values, and made a beautiful case for why she supports who she does. I didn't agree with a good half of what she said as I am not a Christian, but the result was an expression of values that I think put her on the side of justice and compassion.
The person replied and thanked her and said she had a lot to think about. It was probably the best case scenario for a Facebook politics conversation
You know what came very close to ruining it? A bunch of (mostly younger) people piling on with "fuck you you racist maga pos" and "no one has to explain anything to you, go to hell" etc etc. Even after Grace wrote that she intended to reply herself.
I watched this republican respond to all the easy, quick insults by saying "this is why I don't think any democrats can be Christian, this is how you all speak to me." If Grace hadn't put so much work into writing her response in a way that was tailored to fit this person, I would not be surprised if that person left Facebook doubly certain that Christian nationalism is the way to go.
I'm not saying we can't cuss out jackasses. I'm not saying everyone needs to respond to bad faith arguments like Grace did or use their time like she did.
But this was on Grace's Facebook page, and interrupted the work she already volunteered to do. Just so these individuals could feel like they "did something" and got a shot off at an enemy.
I think that's selfish and childish and unproductive. They could have said anything they wanted in their own space, but they made grace's job harder for no fuckin reason. And then "loved" her reply and said "that was beautiful Grace, thank you for sharing your thoughts"
Like... Buddies. Pals. If someone volunteers to scrub the toilet fucking let them.
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the older I get, the more the technological changes I've lived through as a millennial feel bizarre to me. we had computers in my primary school classroom; I first learned to type on a typewriter. I had a cellphone as a teenager, but still needed a physical train timetable. my parents listened to LP records when I was growing up; meanwhile, my childhood cassette tape collection became a CD collection, until I started downloading mp3s on kazaa over our 56k modem internet connection to play in winamp on my desktop computer, and now my laptop doesn't even have a disc tray. I used to save my word documents on floppy discs. I grew up using the rotary phone at my grandparents' house and our wall-connected landline; my mother's first cellphone was so big, we called it The Brick. I once took my desktop computer - monitor, tower and all - on the train to attend a LAN party at a friend's house where we had to connect to the internet with physical cables to play together, and where one friend's massive CRT monitor wouldn't fit on any available table. as kids, we used to make concertina caterpillars in class with the punctured and perforated paper strips that were left over whenever anything was printed on the room's dot matrix printer, which was outdated by the time I was in high school. VHS tapes became DVDs, and you could still rent both at the local video store when I was first married, but those shops all died out within the next six years. my facebook account predates the iphone camera - I used to carry around a separate digital camera and manually upload photos to the computer in order to post them; there are rolls of undeveloped film from my childhood still in envelopes from the chemist's in my childhood photo albums. I have a photo album from my wedding, but no physical albums of my child; by then, we were all posting online, and now that's a decade's worth of pictures I'd have to sort through manually in order to create one. there are video games I tell my son about but can't ever show him because the consoles they used to run on are all obsolete and the games were never remastered for the new ones that don't have the requisite backwards compatibility. I used to have a walkman for car trips as a kid; then I had a discman and a plastic hardshell case of CDs to carry around as a teenager; later, a friend gave my husband and I engraved matching ipods as a wedding present, and we used them both until they stopped working; now they're obsolete. today I texted my mother, who was born in 1950, a tiktok upload of an instructional video for girls from 1956 on how to look after their hair and nails and fold their clothes. my father was born four years after the invention of colour televison; he worked in radio and print journalism, and in the years before his health declined, even though he logically understood that newspapers existed online, he would clip out articles from the physical paper, put them in an envelope and mail them to me overseas if he wanted me to read them. and now I hold the world in a glass-faced rectangle, and I have access to everything and ownership of nothing, and everything I write online can potentially be wiped out at the drop of a hat by the ego of an idiot manchild billionaire. as a child, I wore a watch, but like most of my generation, I stopped when cellphones started telling us the time and they became redundant. now, my son wears a smartwatch so we can call him home from playing in the neighbourhood park, and there's a tanline on his wrist ike the one I haven't had since the age of fifteen. and I wonder: what will 2030 look like?
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could you pretend to be in love? (09/10)
The Consequences
pairing: modern!aemond × fem!reader (fake dating)
summary: things get complicated, you and Aemond's relationship ends and despite finding solutions, nothing can repair the damage to your ruined future.
word count: 8.3k
previous part • series masterlist

fortunately it didn't take me as long as last time and finally here it is hehe🙏😚
I really hope you like it a lot and remember that we're not far from the end, so I'm looking forward to your comments with your opinions. thank you very much for reading beautiful people!❤

You want to believe it's all a misunderstanding.
You couldn't sleep all night. Anxiety and worry consumed you like never before, waiting and checking your mail every moment hoping to see if anything would arrive, but nothing.
Your whole night was summed up in thinking about possible catastrophic scenarios, although they were not possible after all, since that is what is really going to happen because at this point there is nothing you can do because the college applications have already passed.
That's why you checked your email every moment, almost on the verge of tears, thinking about what the fuck you're going to do, how you're going to go to college and why Aemond didn't keep his end of the deal.
There was the urge to text him and even call him in all your desperation and confusion, ask him what happened, but you decided to wait until the next morning to ask him in person to get clear answers.
And that's what you're going to do now.
You don't even know if you are right but there is no other explanation when things are too clear. And you can't help but feel the pain of betrayal burning in your chest, with the anxiety consuming you and the need.
You finally arrive at the school, where without thinking of absolutely nothing, you start searching for Aemond through all the hallways, with determination and rage mixed inside you.
Your eyes frantically search through all the students as you walk quickly and make your way through them all, ignoring their stares at you as you don't care at the moment, you have a goal in mind.
And along with that goal and what you have to do now, still your mind is a whirlwind of thoughts, each one more painful and confusing than the last.
After all the moments you both spent together, both real and pretend, every laugh, every gesture, every kiss, it all seemed so real and so genuine.
But now… it all felt like a cruel illusion.
And to have to accompany it all with this, it's just unbelievable.
You finally see him in the distance, it's not hard to make out his distinctive silver hair, with his figure walking towards the doors leading to the huge backyard of the school, talking to some friends.
Anger and sadness intensify as you see him looking so calm, as if nothing is going on, made worse by the fact that he won't try to contact you either to let you know anything about the university, or even give you the news himself, anything.
You clench your fists and muster up all your courage before reaching for him, feeling completely hopeless.
“Aemond,” you call out to him, your voice tense and cutting.
He turns to you at the call of your voice, his expression changing from surprise to slight concern in an instant. His friends continue walking and he remains standing, as you walk towards him.
And you don't even give him time to speak, as you immediately raise your phone, showing him the college's Facebook ad on the screen.
“What is this?” you ask him, demanding explanations, confusion and pain reflecting in your eyes.
You feel your voice tremble, but you stand your ground, holding his gaze with a determination that belies your vulnerability.
He watches the screen and you see the worry spread further across his face, followed by a nervousness that runs through him from head to toe. He opens his mouth to speak, but the words seem caught in his throat.
“I'm sorry,” he says in a barely audible whisper, leaning toward you and with sorrow in his gaze, ”I-I didn't want you to find out like this.”
The knot in your stomach tightens even tighter as the worry and anxiety intensifies, watching him without understanding.
“And what does that mean?”
He looks to all sides, noticing the number of students surrounding you who begin to watch you both curiously, whispering amongst themselves.
“Come,” he says softly as he places a firm but careful hand on your shoulder and guides you into one of the empty classrooms, away from the stares.
You don't argue with him because you don't want to draw attention to yourself either, but as soon as he closes the door behind you, you feel the pressure in your chest intensify and you immediately turn to him, the need for answers burning inside you.
“You didn't talk to your grandsire or your sister?” you ask, your voice trembling between anger and the anxiety you're trying to contain.
He looks down for a moment, swallowing hard. His silence hangs heavy in the air before he looks up at you, his eyes showing a mixture of weariness and regret.
“Yes, with my grandsire,” he states to you, "But I'm still working on it," he confesses with his tone infused with a sincerity that hurts you more than you expected.
You feel your breath catch and you watch him in shock, with your lips parted and hopelessness all over your gaze, trying to process what he just said. The hopelessness is reflected in your gaze, and your eyes fill with tears of frustration that you struggle to hold back.
“What?” you manage to say, your voice cracking in disbelief.
He takes a step toward you, his eye fixed on yours as he tries to remain calm, though you can see the tension in the way his hands move, as if he's searching the air for the right words.
“Listen,” he begins, your tone softer and almost pleading, ”It's not entirely true that the whole admissions process is over. There are still… possibilities,” he says nervous, ”And I promise you that I've already sent all your documents to my grandsire. I just need a little more time to be able to convince him, and I will, I swear.”
He tries to convince you, observing you completely honest and sincere in what he is saying, but you no longer believe in him.
His words are like a desperate attempt to calm you down, to reassure you that everything will be okay. But distrust grows inside you with a sharp pain that spreads throughout your chest.
You watch him, looking for some sign to give you hope, some spark of certainty you can cling to. But all you see is uncertainty and nervousness, insecurity, because even he doesn't know if he will get you in.
You think about the announcement, how the university has already sent out all the emails, both acceptance and rejection. Then reality hits you like a slap in the face, and suddenly you understand.
“You… you got in?” you ask in a breathy whisper, though deep down you already know the answer.
He doesn't answer you right away, as instead of words, all you get is his look, a mixture of pity and embarrassment that only confirms it.
“Yes but you'll get in Y/N too,” he quickly insists, his voice desperate to convince you, ” You don't need to worry about anything.”
How easy it is to talk when he is the one who certainly should not worry about his future.
And finally the tears find their way, unable to control them any longer. You press your lips together tightly, trying to keep your composure, but the pain and frustration are too intense.
Aemond stirs restlessly, hating to see you cry. His hands tense, wanting to reach out and be able to hug you, but he restrains himself and watches you with concern.
“Y/N—
“ You don't even know if you'll be able to get me in too,” you interrupt him in a cold and distant voice, laden with bitterness with the feeling of betrayal and disappointment in your chest, “I trusted you, that's why I didn't apply to other colleges,” you look at him hurt and annoyed, “Now what am I supposed to do? The time for applications has already passed. I can't apply anywhere else because this, your promise, should have been settled long ago.”
Your words echo in the air, and the reality of the situation settles between the two of you like a barrier. He is affected by your words and falls silent, not knowing how to respond.
Worst of all, you know that he really wanted to help you, that his intentions were sincere, that's what you really want to think in the midst of all this.
But did he really want to help you in the first place?
If that was really his intention, then you wouldn't be in this position right now, in this situation that should never have been allowed. And you also remember Floris.
The tension is palpable and you feel the lump in your throat tighten even more and you look at him with pain.
“You used me,” you say with your voice cracking and barely above a whisper.
He shakes his head, his gaze full of despair.
“No, it wasn't like that,” he tries to correct with his pleading tone as he takes a step closer to you, “That was never my intention Y/N, you know that.”
You pull away from him, increasing the distance between the two of you, tears gathering more in your eyes and this time you make no effort to hold them back.
“I know because of what happened with Floris,” you say bitterly, ”And the worst thing is that I did like you.”
Your words leave him speechless for a moment, his expression marked by a mixture of regret and pain. He reaches out a hand toward you, as if to touch you, to comfort you, but you abruptly pull away.
“Y/N, please let me explain—
“There's nothing to explain,” you cut him off, unable to bear to listen to him any longer.
You feel something inside you crack and he seems to notice your change, to which he doesn't know what to do.
He tells you something else but you no longer listen. The broken promises, the destroyed trust, it all piles up on your shoulders, making you feel smaller and lonelier than you ever felt before.
The pain on his face is evident and when you finally decide to walk away, Aemond tries to stop you, tries to remedy the situation, but you don't even hear him anymore, you don't even see him, it's as if he is suddenly invisible and you leave him behind with pain and bitterness branded on your chest.
All because you realize that he, his promises, his words, were never worth it. And now you're paying the consequences of your future ruined by an absurd contract you should never have accepted in the first place.

You feel as if the world has fallen on top of you.
All the way home, you feel a mixture of intense emotions overflowing and the only way you can get them off your chest is to cry.
You are thankful that your father is still at work or else you would have had no idea how to explain your visibly pitiful state to him. Besides you don't even have the courage to really tell him what's going on.
But all is probably not lost.
Anxiety, despair and frustration wash over you as you sit in front of your laptop. But it also invades you and you cling to hope. You want, desire and yearn to find a solution, one last chance to not lose an academic year, so you open the browser.
Your fingers move quickly over the keyboard, as you search the admissions pages of other universities.
You visit one after another, hoping to find one that is still accepting applications, one that might have a deadline extension. But as you read and watch, that hope fades.
The words ‘admission perido has ended’ are repeated over and over again on every page you visit.
You try a small college in another city, then the only two available in your own city, but in all the answers are the same. Time has run out. The deadline has passed and there is no way to reverse it.
Frustrated, you hold your hands to your head, feeling the despair and anxiety growing inside you. And unable to help it, tears well up in your eyes and finally the situation crushes you.
With a loud sob escaping your lips, you collapse in your chair, feeling completely helpless, hopeless and like a fool.
You don't understand how you couldn't take precautions, have a backup plan B in case Aemond's plan failed, apply to even the city's public university, but none of that crossed your mind at all.
How are you going to explain this to your father? That you didn't apply to other colleges because you trusted a guy's word to get into Citadel in exchange for making his ex-girlfriend jealous?
Even the situation, thinking about what you were doing all that time instead of applying to other colleges makes you frustrated and angry at yourself for being such a fool.
And yet, you still hold on.
The next morning, your spirits still low, you head to the office of the school's coordinator, Mrs. Turner, with this last spark of hope. Maybe, just maybe, you can find some way to resolve this with her help.
Mrs. Turner greets you with a friendly smile, though her face reflects some concern when she sees the expression on your face clearly tired from lack of sleep and swollen from all the crying you've done.
“Miss Y/N, what's wrong? Is everything all right?” he asks you, inviting you to sit down.
You waste no time and explain the situation to her. You decide to omit certain details, especially everything to do with Aemond and his promise. Instead, you opt to say that, due to a family problem, you missed the date for applying to colleges.
“Well, I understand that some universities do a second round of application, but you're mostly private universities in the city.”
“Only private here in the city?” you ask nervously and with a slight illusion.
“Yes,” he nods at you, “Maybe you could make an application for a scholarship.”
You bite your lip, feeling the frustration begin to take hold of you again and the illusion disappears.
You know that, while a scholarship might help you cover some of the costs, it won't be enough. You will only be offered a partial scholarship, and even then, the costs of a private university would be unaffordable for you and your father.
With the scholarship you had applied for at Citadel, you would have had most of your expenses covered, as long as you maintained a good grade point average. But you were rejected.
“No, I-I… I can't afford private college,” you admit as you look at her in desperation, ”Are you sure there's nothing you can do at the public university? Maybe send in a special request or something?”
She looks at you with some pity and disappointment.
“I'm sorry Y/N, but I'm afraid that's not the way things work,” she tells you in a soft voice, “Unfortunately, at most universities, once the admissions deadlines have closed, there's nothing we can do.”
You're not even surprised because you were definitely expecting something like this. Nor do you feel anything, just…emptiness and bitterness.
Mrs. Turner maintains her compassionate look as she continues to speak, trying to soften the impact of the situation on you.
“Y/N, I know this may seem discouraging, but I want you to know that all is not lost. Losing a year before entering college is not the end of the world,” she says in a reassuring tone, ”You can use this time to get a job, gain experience, and prepare an even stronger application for the next cycle. There's no rush, and many people find that taking a year off allows them to better focus on what they really want.”
But you know what you really want.
You want to study law, have a professional career, graduate and work at something you really like where you earn enough money to help your dad, give him a better life. That's what you want.
But you ruined it all by agreeing to a dumb contract, by believing his words and by not backing yourself.
You know her words are meant to calm you down, to offer you a positive outlook in the midst of the storm of emotions flooding through you. But, at this moment, these words offer you no comfort.
All you can think about is how your plan, your future, has crumbled in front of you.
You nod slowly, not wanting to seem rude or ungrateful for his attempt to help you. But inside, you feel misunderstood. You know Mrs. Turner only wants to help you, but the despair and fear of the future you now face keep you from seeing the bright side.
“Thank you, Mrs. Turner,” you say with an effort to keep your voice steady, ”I appreciate your advice.”
She gives you a warm, though still concerned, smile as you rise from your chair.
“If you need to talk more, or if there's anything I can help you with, feel free to come see me, okay?”
You nod once more, thanking her for her kindness and time before leaving the office.
Once outside, the hustle and bustle of students filling the halls of the school envelop you and you quickly make your way to your locker.
You open the door with automatic movements, barely aware of what you are doing as your thoughts invade you. With trembling hands, you put away the books and notebooks you won't need for the next few classes.
As you go through the motions, the pain and frustration begin to build. And when you least expect it, tears begin to slide down your cheeks silently.
You try to control yourself, pursing your lips and wiping your cheeks, but your emotions are too intense to be repressed. When suddenly, laughter reaches your ears.
You watch out of the corner of your eye and see Alys and her friends walking almost in front of you with mocking voices and laughter, full of undisguised contempt.
You have an idea what specifically amuses them about you, you know they must have sent you that picture of Aemond and Floris, but you also feel their laughter as a cruel mockery of your already desperate situation.
Still you can't help but feel embarrassed and angrily wipe away your tears with a sharp gesture.
Rage runs through your whole body, for everything. And your tears, though stopped for the moment, still threaten to return. You hurry to put everything away and slam the door shut to finally walk away.
You walk quickly down the hallway, wanting to get away from all the people, when as you turn down a corridor, you come face to face with Aemond, Aegon and his friends.
The impact is almost physical, but both you and they stop abruptly to avoid the blow. And as soon as you realize who you have in front of you, you freeze for an instant.
Just when your day couldn't get any worse.
Aemond, with his silver hair and imposing figure, is the first to notice you. His expression instantly changes from surprise to concern as he sees the traces of tears on your face.
And although he doesn't say anything right away, his gaze is intense, full of worry and guilt.
The tension in the air becomes palpable, because both you and he have no idea what to do, what to say or how to react. But you, feeling the pressure of the stares, feel trapped and instantly have the urge to walk away.
But first, Aemond takes a step towards you, trying to close the distance between the two of you and your eyes meet his, charged with a mixture of desperation and hope.
“Y/N,” he calls your name.
And before he can say anything else, you don't let him and quickly move away.
Desperation drives you to dodge him, also the fact that you can't stand to be in his presence, which you do but Aemond reacts immediately and follows you.
He calls your name with an urgency that makes his voice echo down the hallway, leaving his brother and his friends behind.
“Y/N, please stop, he needed to talk to you,” he urges you.
His hand reaches out to yours in an attempt to stop you but you continue walking quickly.
Maybe it's the look you both have or it's the unusual attitude you're both having around each other that starts to get people's attention. But you don't care since all you want at that precise moment is to get away from him.
“Please, Y/N.”
And then his hand takes yours, stopping you and you turn to him, your face flushed with tears and anger inside you.
“Let go of me,” you tell him in warning in a cold, cutting voice, ”I won't tell you again.”
The scene definitely draws more attention and some students begin to murmur and watch you both very intently, but the whole whirlwind of emotions makes you lose sight of the awkwardness of the situation.
You really don't want to deal with Aemond right now. In fact you don't even want to have anything to do with him anymore.
And Aemond seeing that, your attitude and coldness, the fact that you can't even stand to see him and the fact that you are being terribly honest, hurts him, really hurts him with a sharp pain in his chest, but he insists.
“Please, just for a few minutes. I need to explain—
Completely losing patience, showing the intensity of your pain and frustration, you release yourself from his grip in a sudden movement that draws more attention from the students and the situation becomes an unwanted show.
“Leave me alone,” you warn him through your teeth before turning and walking away with quick steps.
And thankfully he doesn't try to stop you again.
Everyone is looking at you and everyone is looking at Aemond as well, but you quickly find refuge away from all the stares, taking no notice.
However, you should have expected that little show to go around like plague throughout the school accompanied with the new rumor that Aemond Targaryen and his previously invisible girlfriend have broken up.
And honestly… you didn't even care.
To this point, technically he and you have ended whatever the two of you had, so you don't care to either affirm or deny it, you just don't make a big deal out of it and let people believe what they want.
Besides, how could you care when there are certainly more important things like thinking about your now ruined future?
News you have the confidence to share with Alysanne after all the drama involving you and Aemond, since you two are all anyone talks about in the entire school.
“That fucking idiot,” Alysanne mutters in disbelief, "Just when I thought what he did with Floris was so low but this… I mean, are you kidding me?" she stares at Cregan, incredulous, ”This is so much worse.”
You let out a long breath and bring a hand to your forehead as you close your eyes and simply let your body try to relax. It's uncomfortable because of the hard metal beneath you as you lie on the bleachers but you still try.
“But he said he would try to fix it, didn't he?” asks Cregan in a cautious tone.
“And you believe him?” reproaches Alysanne incredulously, "I wouldn't and Y/N shouldn't either," she observes you, ”He had all this time to do something about it, even to be honest with you and tell you ahead of time that he wasn't going to succeed in helping you. Then you would have had a chance to apply to other colleges but no, he preferred to stay silent and enjoy the acting and all that it provoked in his stupid ex-girlfriends.”
And put like that… everything that happened sounds so much worse.
But you know she's right.
While the whole school is whispering about your ‘breakup’ with him, you can't help but feel that there are much more important things at stake, things that Aemond never understood or tried to understand.
And Alysanne seeing your expression and you basically not reacting because you're thinking about the future and how incredibly fucked up you must feel, lets out a long breath and moves a little closer towards you.
“I know it's a stupid question but are you okay?” she asks you in a warm and concerned tone.
You let out a sigh and take a moment before answering, not watching them and not taking your hand off your forehead.
“I don't know what to do,” you say in a low, emotionless tone.
Alysanne grimaces and looks at Cregan who also returns the same expression; they don't know what to do to make you feel better and relieve that huge weight you're carrying.
College is a big deal, both of them would also feel the same way if they were in your place, that's a fact. But by the same token they are not in your situation, they don't know what to do to cheer you up because, what could they possibly do to even help you? Nothing.
“I'm just thinking about how I'm going to tell my dad.”
You confess finally, withdrawing your hand from your forehead and fixing your eyes on the gray sky above you.
“I'll have to lie to him, tell him I applied but all the colleges rejected me,” you say regretfully, “Now I'm just left to look for a job and do that until I can apply next year.”
Alysanne and Cregan exchange a look.
“It's not a bad plan,” she tells you, trying to cheer you up, “In fact, a lot of people of our age don't go to college after graduation and do exactly that, get a job and apply until the next year or until they're sure of what they want to study.”
“Yeah,” Cregan agrees, "Besides, my family has several businesses in town, I could help you get a job at one of them.”
You can't help but place a small smile on your lips, seeing the willingness of both of them in wanting to support you, however, they can see the sadness all over your face and the discouragement you feel.
“Thanks guys, I really appreciate it,” you say genuinely, "And I know it's not a bad plan but…" you sigh, feeling the frustration and sadness swirl in your chest, ”I know my dad, and I know that, when I tell him that I wasn't accepted, he'll be supportive… but I also know that he'll be very disappointed.”
That's what weighs on you the most, far more than anything else, going over the whole Aemond thing and also over you, your dad.
He has sacrificed so much for you, working long hours at a job that doesn't give him what he truly deserves. He earns enough to support you and the house, he has always made sure you both have what you need; food on the table, clothes and basic comforts.
But he never buys anything for himself and his own dreams have always taken a back seat. All so he can give you a chance to do something else, have a better life and now…you feel like you've failed him.
Cregan and Alysanne watch you silently, their faces reflecting the gravity of your words. They know there is nothing they can say that will truly ease your pain, but you know they are both here, offering you their support.
“Well, I don't know your dad but still, he's your dad and he loves you,” Alysanne tells you in a warm tone, ”He knows you better than anyone and I'm sure all he'll want is for you to be okay.”
“And I'm sure he's seen how you've tried your best and you can't take the blame for something that was out of your hands.”
You understand what they both mean and you also ponder your dad's attitude in your mind briefly, but still, you can't help but place a small bitter smile.
“Actually it was my fault because it was my decision to trust Aemond, instead of making sure I had other options to prevent exactly this,” you say without emotion, “And I also feel that… not only it hurts me to have to tell my dad, but also to feel this disappointment,” you explain, “I really believed that I would go to Citadel and that my life was going to follow that path I had planned for a long time. But now… I feel like that dream has been taken away from me again.”
Alysanne looks at you sadly, understanding the weight of your words and she along with Cregan, no longer have any idea what to say to you. And you notice this, so you watch both of them trying to keep a genuine smile on your lips.
“You know? I really appreciate you both being here for me… I don't know what I would have done if I didn't have you guys to talk to,” you tell them sincerely, ”But I think it needed some time alone.”
Alysanne looks at you uncertainly.
“Are you sure? You know I don't mind, I can skip the next class to stay with you.”
“No, no, don't worry,” you hasten to say.
“I can stay too,” Cregan adds, shrugging.
“No guys, I don't want you to miss class for me, really,” you look at them sincerely, "I'll be fine, I just…" you let out a sigh, ”I need time alone.”
They both exchange a look and Cregan is the one who stands up first, stretching his arms out before looking at you with a mixture of understanding and concern.
“Fine but if you need anything, tell us,” he tells you with a soft voice and a warm gaze.
You nod in his direction.
“Yes, thank you,” you reply as you return a small smile that doesn't quite reach your eyes.
Alysanne lingers a little longer, watching you with the same intensity as always, as if she wants to make sure you really will be okay before she leaves.
“I'll keep an eye out on you, okay?”
“Okay,” you tell her, feeling that simple gesture of support fill you with a strange mixture of relief and sadness.
She nods, smiling a little before walking away along with Cregan, leaving you alone on the bleachers.
And you stand there, thinking about everything and yet nothing, where you allow yourself to let out a long, heavy sigh. You look up at the sky, allowing thoughts to flow unrestricted.
The faint sounds around you envelop you, such as the soccer team boys training on the field and the entire cheerleading squad, as well as the faint, comforting sound of the leaves moving from the big trees along with the birds singing.
And even though you don't want to feel bad, the pain, the disappointment and the uncertainty about what will come next, it all hits you again in an unavoidable way.
And it all blends together in an emotional whirlwind that leaves you exhausted.
Time seems to stand still as you stand there, lost in thought. And you barely notice when someone approaches, as the sound of approaching footsteps barely registers in your consciousness.
And because you are absorbed in your thoughts, you only come out of your trance the moment a soft voice right next to you breaks the silence in your space.
“Hi Y/N.”
You raise your head almost immediately, definitely not expecting that and suddenly you see Floris standing next to you, watching you with a mixture of insecurity and regret.
You frown and look at her confused, not bothering to hide it, truly not understanding what she's doing here, talking to you.
And receiving no response from you, she looks down uncomfortably for a moment, fiddling with her hands as if searching for the right words before speaking.
And this is the first time you see her like this. You don't spend your time watching and analyzing her either but normally she always comes across as confident and sure of her whole persona, but now… you've never seen her so nervous.
“I know I'm probably the last person you want to talk to right now…” she admits with her voice barely a whisper, sitting down next to you on the bleacher, though she keeps an appropriate distance, ”But I really want to talk to you.”
'Talk?'
You repeat in your mind, still watching her without understanding and unable to help but feel a pang of bitterness at the memory of all that has happened.
The truth is you don't want to talk, you already feel frustrated and tired enough without now having to deal with this and especially with her.
But for some strange reason, you don't say anything, you just watch her, waiting, keeping calm, waiting for her to continue. She seems to hesitate for a moment, but then takes a deep breath, focusing her gaze on the horizon.
“I-I… after what happened in Dragonstone…” she begins to speak cautiously, ”Aemond decided to cut off all communication with me.”
That nonconformity and that little ache in your chest comes up as you hear her name and you too look straight ahead, avoiding her gaze.
“He told me that what happened between us was a mistake and that you never deserved that,” she continues in a soft tone, ”I don't know if that gives you any kind of comfort, but I thought you should know.”
'Comfort?'
You don't know whether to laugh or cry but it's clear that none of this brings you comfort.
And she seems to be struggling with her own emotions, as you see out of the corner of your eye how her hands clench in her lap as if she's trying to control the trembling in them.
“And I'm not telling you this to justify myself, I know what happened at that party was a mistake,” she says emphatically, ”I shouldn't have gotten involved, let alone knowing that you were his girlfriend. That was…” she pauses and lets out a frustrated sigh, ”That was a big mistake on my part. I should have walked away from him the moment I met you, given you your place and respected you, but… I didn't.”
Her words fall heavy in the air and although part of you wants to lash out at her, another part of you feels so drained that you can't even find the energy to argue. Besides it's not just her… it's also Aemond.
“I was the one who was all the time looking for his attention at that party, you know? I was the one who had the intention of kissing him all that time, “she confesses, visibly embarrassed, ”I-I… I don't know, I felt so jealous when I came back and saw him with you. I-I guess I… still had feelings for him.”
You let out a long breath and finally speak bitterly.
“If he was the one who sent you to tell me all this to justify what he did and expect me to forgive him, it's not going to work Floris,” you warn her.
She shakes her head instantly, her eyes full of urgency.
“No, no,” she tells you immediately, ”He didn't send me to tell you anything, he doesn't even talk to me and barely notices me when we're in the same place. There's nothing really between us anymore Y/N,” she insists, ”It all ended when I left.”
You bite the inside of your cheek, not knowing what to say or what to really think, also not having the slightest idea what to do.
Even if all of this were true, everything she's telling you, you don't care anymore. All of this just comes with the part where Aemond didn't deliver what he promised you. All of this is just more accompanying pain, but what does it really matter?
“I'm really sorry about what happened,” she murmurs in your direction after you say nothing, “I know my words won't change anything and I'm not expecting you to forgive me… but I wanted you to know that I'm truly sorry.”
You remain silent, jaw clenched and gaze lowered, with the silence still heavy, dense.
Her words echo in your mind, mingling with everything else you've been carrying. But what are you supposed to feel? Relief? More pain? Or both? You don't know.
And resigned to the fact that she won't find some kind of reaction from you nor will you say anything to her, she lets out a last sigh, accepting your indifference without a problem.
“And I also wanted to tell you that…I know that Alys and her friends were the ones who sent you that picture,” she confesses to you and you feel that sharp pain in your chest again, ”And you don't have to worry about them spreading it all over school. I made sure that doesn't happen.”
The lump in your throat tightens. Though his words seek to offer you some sort of comfort, they do not soothe the wound that has already been inflicted. It doesn't change what happened, nor does it erase the humiliation you felt.
But even so, there is something in her tone, in the sincerity with which she speaks to you, that disarms you a little, if only for an instant.
Finally she stands up, feeling that there is nothing more to say. She throws you one last look, full of regret, before turning and starting to walk away.
And you don't stop her, as you have nothing to say, when suddenly, she stops after only a few steps and this catches your attention, so you look at her in confusion.
Floris, still with her back to you, seems to hesitate for a moment, as if considering whether or not to say what has been on her mind. When finally, he turns to you again, his eyes searching yours with an intensity you didn't expect.
“He really loves you, you know? Aemond.”
For the first time in the entire conversation you hold her gaze.
The sincerity in her eyes strikes you, but it's hard to believe those words after everything that's happened.
“When I came back from the exchange, something changed in him towards me. I don't know, he didn't see me the same way anymore,” she explains, "At first I didn't understand why, but when I met you, I knew," she confesses.
She pauses and seems to hesitate, as if choosing her next words carefully.
“The kiss…that kiss meant nothing to him, I know,” she finally confesses. “I saw him at Dragonstone, I saw how he looked at you… completely in love with you.”
You press your lips together and stare at a specific point, remembering those moments.
“And I also saw you completely in love with him too,” she admits in a soft voice, “I saw how you looked at him, with the same intensity with which he looked at you. And honestly… the two of you looked very happy together.”
This makes you feel exposed in a way you didn't expect, stirring a little in your seat, not knowing how to react.
The images of you and Aemond at Dragonstone, the times you spent together on the yacht, the hot tub, on the beach, in the castle and at the aquarium, when everything was fine and neither of you were faking it and it looked like everything was going to be just fine, all flashes through your mind.
“I saw all that, Y/N,” Floris continues, looking down in shame. “And that's why I accepted his decision to walk away from me. Because even though I didn't want to accept it at the time, I knew that what he felt for you was real. And what you felt for him was too.”
For a moment, you stare at her, not knowing how to respond or what to do, since you didn't expect to hear this either.
And you honestly can't deny the honesty in her words and in that it's probably true what she's saying, but you also can't ignore the pain that still burns inside you.
And so you simply nod slightly, as if you are accepting her confession even though you don't know what to do with it.
Floris looks at you one last time before turning completely around and continuing on her way, leaving you alone with your thoughts and the emotions you've been trying to contain.
You feel a surge of sadness mixed with a strange calm, as if there is nothing left to give. Everything that has happened between you, Aemond and Floris is still a complicated knot to untangle.
Now the silence that follows is heavy, but somehow, it also seems liberating.

Aemond POV.
With a folder in hand containing all the documents he needs and a determination all over his mind and posture, he barely observes all the people around him as he walks quickly through the hallways of the building, heading towards a specific office.
When he reaches the corresponding hallway, he slows his pace, cautiously observing his surroundings, making sure his grandsire is not nearby.
After so long keeping him waiting in the hope that he would do him the favor despite having already told him it would not be possible, he must have known that he will never really help him after all the favors he has done for him.
And that is precisely why Aemond has resorted to such measures.
But if his grandsire sees him here, he will immediately know what he wants to do and will not hesitate to kick him out of the building. That's why he has to be quick as the guards have seen him come in and so have all the people who work here.
And it's hard to go unnoticed when you have silver hair, which implies either that you work here or that you are the son, brother or nephew of the people who run the company.
So he quickly makes his way to the office, where he doesn't even knock on the door before entering, just walks in quickly to avoid being seen.
“Aemond?”
He looks at his sister and lets out a long breath watching her wearily, to walk over and take a seat in front of her.
“I'm sorry, my grandsire can't know I'm here or he'll kick me out,” he explains.
“Why? What happened?” she asks genuinely concerned, stopping what she was doing on her computer.
“Nothing, it's just…” he pauses as she brings a hand to his hair, ruffling it in frustration, ”I need you to do me a favor, Nyra. A big one.”
This gets her full attention and she nods slowly in his direction.
“What do you need?” she says to him with all disposition, watching him intently.
Your face, your words, all the moments that happened, whether good or bad, but most of all your hurt and broken face, the disappointment and how terribly sad you must have felt.
All of that is Aemond's drive to finally make things right and the things he should have done in the first place.
But it is not only that, it is also the fact that you no longer want to have anything to do with him, that you no longer want to be in the same place with him, that you can't stand his presence and that you don't answer any of his messages or calls, wanting to stop having any kind of contact with him.
All of that lets him know exactly how you felt about Floris and also about the fact that he didn't keep his promise.
And now he is willing to do anything, absolutely anything to be able to keep what he promised you. It doesn't matter if you still don't want to have anything to do with him, all he wants is for you to go to the college of your dreams.
But Rhaenyra's face after explaining and asking him for the favor, is exactly what he expected but he will still keep trying.
“You know I can't do something like that, Aemond.”
“You just don't have to say anything to him Rhae, please.”
She shakes her head.
“That's only worse. You know how hard it was for me to get him to agree to let me work here since dad died and I still have to put up with his bad treatment—
“Oh please, we all know it's only a matter of time before you and Daemon also get to run this company in addition to Driftmark and Harrenhal,” he interrupts her seriously, “You'll take my grandsire's job and send him to run only the Oldtown company.”
Rhaenyra remains serious for a moment, pursing her lips.
“It's the right thing to do and you know it. My father left this to me, to us,” she clarifies truthfully, ”And your grandfather took advantage to take it all and leave almost nothing to me.”
He lets out a long breath, bringing a hand to his chin.
“When you've finished your degree, you'll run Oldtown and if you want, we can spread out more locations,” she tells him in a soft tone, “Helaena can also run Highgarden and Aegon and Daeron can also help us if that's what they really want. That's what father wanted and I never once intended to take that away from you, your legacy, as your grandsire told you I would.”
“Yeah, yeah, I know,” he tells her in a soft, sincere tone, understanding what she means.
The fight over the inheritance was always in the family ever since their father became ill. He never showed them love or even that he cared even a little for them, but at least he intended to leave them a large part of his legacy.
Neither he nor his siblings fought with Rhaenyra and Daemon for it, it was only their grandsire, who from the time they were all children put hatred towards them to her.
But eventually, both he and his siblings realized that Rhaenyra had other intentions and everything grandsire said was a lie. Rhaenyra didn't want to steal their legacy, she never did.
And now… they have all developed a strange but pleasant relationship with her. He more than anything has developed a respect, even an affection, for his older sister, because she wasn't the villain they had always been led to believe.
“Our arrangement with Citadel University was made precisely from the company in Oldtown, a company he will run until you have graduated,” she continues, “And if he already refused once to help you with that and finds out that I did, this strange peace I have managed to keep will be over.”
And the worst part is that she's right.
He closes his eyes for a moment, feeling the weight of those words.
If his grandsire finds out that she helped him behind his back, all the progress they've made to maintain family stability will shatter, destroying any chance of avoiding another conflict. And all because of a girl only he knows.
If it were a nephew, cousin or someone closer to the family nucleus, everything would be different. Nepotism is a common currency among wealthy and powerful families, like his, but in your case, you are a complete stranger.
That is precisely the reason why his grandsire refused to offer help him.
And now, Aemond is caught between the desire to repair the damage he caused in you and the fear that his insistence will cause an even greater rift in the family.
“Then I'll do it,” he says with conviction, sure of his words and Rhae looks at him surprised and confused, “Just tell me how I can get her into college. You don't have to get involved, I'll take it all on myself. I'll say I asked you for help and you refused. If anything goes wrong, it will be my responsibility.”
Rhaenyra lets out a long, deep sigh.
“Aemond—
She begins softly, but he interrupts her before she can say more.
“She deserves this,” he says, his voice lower but laden with sincerity. “It wasn't her fault. She did a favor for me on the condition that I would do this one for her. Besides, I've done a lot of things for my grandfather and the company, especially this company, so please Rhae, I really want to do this.”
Rhaenyra watches him for a long moment, her eyes searching for something in his.
The intensity in Aemond's gaze does not waver, for he is willing to take the consequences, to stand up to even his grandsire, if it means giving you a chance to repair the damage he himself caused.
“Even if I have to give up my own place to give it to her, I don't care, I'll do it.”
Rhaenyra blinks slowly, her mind struggling between logic and the desire to help him. Aemond rarely shows regret, and seeing him so willing to sacrifice himself for someone surprises her and reaches her deeply.
And finally, after what seems like an eternity, she sighs.
“What you're asking is a huge risk,” she admits, looking at him with a mixture of seriousness and empathy.
He holds his breath, his body rigid, as she seems to debate internally and he waits for a decision. And then, she turns to her computer, beginning to type, letting out a long breath.
“But don't be silly, I want you to study at Citadel too.”
The relief Aemond feels is almost palpable. A mixture of gratitude and hope takes hold of him, and his shoulders seem to relax for the first time since he entered the office.
“Thank you,” he murmurs, “Truly.”
“Just let me make a phone call and I also need her docu—
She doesn't finish saying the word as he, with a quickness that reflects his urgency, drops the folder with all the necessary papers in front of her on her desk.
Rhaenyra raises an eyebrow, looking at the folder with a mixture of surprise and amusement.
“Sure,” she murmurs and opens the folder, letting out a small laugh, beginning to flip through the documents, making sure everything is in order "Well, this folder is quite complete and the grades are excellent,” she says in acknowledgement, "That's good because it will help us speed up the process."
Aemond allows himself to let out a sigh of relief, watching as Rhaenyra steps in to help him with this favor. And as she begins to make calls and coordinate the necessary details, he remains attentive throughout, beginning to feel more relieved than ever.
He knows this won't exactly make you forgive him, but at the very least, he's fixing the damage he's done to you so he can give you the opportunity you deserve.

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#aemond targaryen#aemond fanfiction#aemond targaryen fanfic#aemond targaryen x reader#aemond targaryen x you#aemond targaryen x y/n#aemond x reader#aemond x fem!reader#hotd aemond#modern hotd#modern au#modern aemond#aemond targaryen fanfiction#aemond one eye#prince aemond#aemond targaryen angst
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CHALLENGERS (2024) PROMPTS * assorted dialogue, adjust as necessary.
who says i want somebody to be in love with me?
i don't want to fuck you to prove a point.
fuck me because you want to.
are you gonna do it or not?
tastes even better than it looks.
i just told you i missed you.
i really want to kiss you right now, but i'm worried that if i try, you'll think i'm the worst friend in the world.
you know, it hurts me sometimes how little you believe in yourself.
decimate that little bitch.
let's be honest, you gotta feel bad for the kid.
you're not a spring chicken anymore.
dude. he's a pancake. you're gonna flatten him.
how's this feeling?
we're ready for you.
so obviously this isn't the result you wanted today.
you choked.
i don't want you to embarrass yourself.
i'm just a little rusty. it's a confidence thing.
get your fucking confidence back. i can't do it for you.
i'm so sick of you using this as an excuse to have a fucking meltdown.
you said we could watch a movie.
you're evil.
i'm gonna quiz you on it tomorrow.
sir, i don't know who you are.
i don't think we have much more to talk about.
i haven't spoken to you in five years.
i was just taking a little nap.
move, or i'm calling the cops.
you were really something back then, huh?
we always talked about how amazing it would be to win this together.
i'm a crazy person.
any predictions about how that's going to go?
can you do me a favor? can you not, like... demolish me tomorrow?
shut the fuck up.
if it matters to you so much, i can just give it to you.
i need it to look like i really beat you.
don't guilt me with your dying grandmother.
she's the hottest woman i've ever seen.
you were... fucking incredible.
baby, we've got to get going.
i'm not going to that party.
are you that threatened by me?
we can't both just go in there, dicks swinging.
i'd let her fuck me with a racket.
hey, do you smoke?
of course they will remember you.
see, that's your problem. you think you're like an artist or something.
you just want to win because you love it when people tell you how talented you are.
are you on facebook?
i told you tennis was boring.
you just got this crazy look on your face.
are you on a date?
i don't kiss and tell.
why did you want to have dinner with me?
i think you might be the worst friend in the world.
i didn't know you were so concerned about my feelings.
of course you still have a thing for her.
we just had what i'm assuming is the best sex of our lives.
i fucked your brains out?
what do you think you need? a cheerleader? a fuck buddy? a girlfriend?
you're talented, you're charming, and you've got a big dick.
excuse me for inconveniencing you.
don't expect to sleep here tonight.
stop going easy on me.
i'll be whatever you need me to be. i'll fuck off if you want me to.
i need you here, actually.
you're referring to when i declared my love for you.
you're not in love with me anymore?
i've been dreaming about this for five years.
i'm gonna propose something to you, and it's gonna make you angry. it's gonna make you very angry. but you have to hear me out, okay?
i'm finally ready to listen to you.
how dare you fucking ask me that.
do you think it's cute what you're doing? do you think it's funny?
that's the stupidest fucking thing i've ever heard.
i've always wanted you.
you didn't do anything to me. i did it all to myself.
i think i've reached the limit of my willingness to have this conversation with you.
do you understand how embarrassing it is that you're here?
you've never beaten me.
tell me it doesn't matter.
will you just hold me?
i'm not here to fuck you.
i miss watching you play. you were so beautiful.
#challengers#mcflymemes#rp prompt#rp meme#rp memes#roleplay memes#roleplay prompt#rp starters#ask meme#ask memes#roleplay meme#sentence starter#sentence starters#sentence starter prompt#roleplay inbox prompts#rp inbox meme#inbox prompt#inbox meme#look at me making memes left and right today
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I really love and laugh over your Joel and Preggo. I was wondering about Joel and his mother-in-law. How does Preggo get along with her mother? Maybe mother-in-law who lives out of town comes for a quick visit ? I leave to you what the dynamics or what directions “the mother-in-law” could be!
Joel Dealing with Preggo Wife: Mother-in-Law


^some inspo photos of Pedro with friend or his family. Momma is touchy but it's nonsexual. He's just eating it up.
Warnings: angry sex turns soft, brief oral F receiving, getting caught (not sexy), favoritism war
18+ ONLY
- - - -
You remember when your parents used to hate Joel. From the moment you announced your engagement, they frowned. Why not someone who has a more stable job? Went to college? Doesn't have white in his beard already in his 30s?
But when you refused to back down, they begrudgingly put up with him. And he went above and beyond to impress them. Gifts, kind gestures, helping around their house and treating them to nice dinners.
But oh boy, the SECOND your Facebook friends let it slip that you were expecting, your parents flipped on a dime.
Joel was now their favorite child.
And your mom was—
“I hope she makes that famous apple pie of-hers,” Joel says, a bounce in his voice as the two of you drive to your Mom’s house for the weekend.
Your upper lip gets caught on your teeth as you scowl at his more-than-she-deserves giddy smile. “What about my apple pie?”
“You don’t make apple pie.”
True. "Well. If I did..."
“—Then it would be the best.”
“You’re just saying that because I expect you to. You probably would hate it.”
Joel opens his mouth but hesitates for a moment. “I don’t know how you want me to respond here. We’re talking about a fictional pie you’ve never made.”
Grrr fuck this man and his logic.
He tries to alleviate the subject—maybe you wanted to give baking HIM an apple pie a go? ”She did buy me that Kitchen-aide mixer..."
You shake your head. Not this again… “No, she bought it for me!"
"It was my Christmas gift she gave me.”
"Why would she get you a NICE kitchen aide thousand dollar mixer, when you don't even BAKE??? PLUS I'm her actual DAUGHTER??"
Joel just shrugs. It pains you but you will never admit it's most likely true. Your mom bought it for HIM and you got breast pumps and a barf blanket. She used to get you the over the top nice things, and Joel would get socks. But now…
Your mom always loved you, probably a bit more than most. Sometimes it was overbearing, but that’s how she is. She’s nurturing, caring, always cooking and taking care of everyone, running a million miles a minute yet still having time to tell you everything is going to be ok after you stubbed your toe and cried about a broken nail.
Though, she also expected to be treated like royalty by Dad. Momma knew her worth, knew her value to the family and Dad would grovel if he didn’t give her exactly what she wanted the moment she wanted it.
You’re glad that Joel doesn’t have to deal with a nagging wife who needs to tend to her ridiculous wants and emotional turmoil whenever it falls over less he be beheaded for his insolence.
You narrow your eyes at your bopping himbo Joel now, completely unaware of your thoughts as he jams to the radio.
What a lucky guy he is.
When you pull up outside the old ranch home, Joel hops out and smells the air like it’s the Bahamas.
He helps you down from the passenger side of the truck before you both jump at the sound of your Mom screeching from the porch.
“JOOOOOEEEELLLYYYYYYYY!!!!!!”
His eyes crinkle in a warm smile as the little yet fiery woman you call Mom comes rushing towards you two like a marathon speed walker, pumping her arms at a whopping 1 mile per hour.
He opens his arms and as your mother wraps herself in his embrace. “Hey you!”
“Oooooh! Ohhh you’re so thin!”
You raise your eyebrow. Joel’s no heavy weight champion, but he’s got a dad bod ready to rival any of the neighbors—a body that you LOVE more than anything else as it is.
Finally seeing you behind him, she shoves Joel aside and wraps you up in his warm hug. “MY BABYGIRL!!!!”
That’s right, let’s remember the pregnant one here please!
Your mom is the same height as you, but that doesn’t stop her from getting on her tip toes to kiss your forehead like she always did since the day you were born. She marvels at the size of your belly, filled with excitement and wonder and familiarity. “Oh my gosh look how much you’ve grown already, are you sure it’s not twins??? I have twins on my uncle’s side so its entirely possible—oh my gosh you’re so—“
Please don’t say fat please don’t say fat…
“SKINNY! JOEL! Have you not been feeding her????”
You snicker and throw your arm around her shoulders. “That’s what I’VE been saying. Momma, he’s been limiting snack time.”
Joel rolls his eyes. The two of you ganging up on him wasn’t in the cards just 5 seconds ago when he was sweet Joely.
“My poor starving baby starving my baby’s baby!” she muses, forces Joel to bend at the knee for her fat wet kiss on his scruffy cheek before rubbing her kisses into your head on the other side.
“Come, come in! I’ve made—“
“Pie?” Joel pipes up, his eyes tilted eagerly towards the overly touchy woman suffocating you both.
You roll your eyes, already smelling the apple and cinnamon in the air. Of COURSE she would make his favorite pie. She runs inside to set the table.
Joel starts unpacking the truck but you cross your arms and tap your foot.
“What?”
He towers over you with a duffel slumped over his shoulder. “—Not that shit."
“I'm just saying, she’s nice to you all the sudden. It’s weird—“
“Don’t start.” He interrupts, slamming the trunk with a startling bang. Those biceps look fucking delicious rippling under his tight tight shirt— "Just want her to think I'm good for ya. Not tryin' to replace you."
You scoff him, as if anyone else could pull a man like that except you.
But Joel can still feel that tension radiating off you, knowing you won’t truly acknowledge what’s bothering you until it blows into something ridiculous.
“Jooeellyyyy?” your mother shouts from the kitchen window.
“JoElLeY” you mimic with annoyance. “I used to be the only one with cute nicknames, ya know. You used to just be ‘J guy-my-daughter-is-dating’. And that even AFTER we got married.”
He chuckles before giving you a peck on the lips and guiding your waddling self inside. Joel doesn’t want you thinking that he would ever choose your mom over you, of course not!
Just, for the now, being on her favorable side was something he had been working towards for years. You would just have to put up with her lipstick stains on his cheek and endless praise from his mouth of her fabulous cooking for this the weekend.
-
Your mom zips around the kitchen, going off about the new nail salon down the road, the garden beds that can’t keep the chipmunks away, and how your old ultrasounds to compare baby sizes.
Joel watches the way she waddles. It’s EXACTLY as you do, and he starts to think maybe it’s not the pregnancy that is giving you such a signature walk. You both sit down at the table together and sigh, biting into a cookie and making a nasty face before putting it back on the tray.
Oh.
Oh wow.
Joel has to hide his smirk. You claimed so often how you were NOTHING like your mom. Your mom was pushy, demanding, filled to the brim with extra energy that would come out of no where—ironically all the things that defined you but obviously was not obvious to his wife yet.
Maybe it’s the slight difference between you two is exactly how Joel can relate to Momma—showing love through acts service. Your mom is constantly working around the kitchen, cleaning, cooking, and it has nothing to do with expectations. He can see the little smile on her face, the skip in her step—she loves taking care of her people. She likes that you whine because only she can make your favorite coffee cake the exact way you like it. That you credit your own excellent laundry folding skills thanks to her methods that prevent wrinkles without ironing. How she always had the BEST soups for when you’re sick as if they cured like medicine itself, even if its just poured from a can—its done so with love.
There’s a unique bond between mother and daughter that Joel gets to witness. It’s not self serving either. There’s a sense of personal gratitude in being able to care for someone that makes their world worth living in.
Other times you can be a total bitch but honestly? That’s just pregnancy talk.
“It’s a girl, isn’t it? Grandmother’s just know these things—“
“Mom, I called you a few weeks ago and told you it was a girl. You didn’t just guess—“
“Just as you had predicted!” Joel jumps in. “Grandmother’s intuition is a real thing, and this sweet }Cookie’s got it.” He winks towards her and sips the lovely tea she had made him.
Your mom begins to favor his conversation over yours. “And names…?” She asks expectedly.
“We’re—“
“Yours is definitely in the mix!” Joel boasts.
She clasps her hands together, not seeing the deathstare you were giving him. Momma’s name was only in the mix for MIDDLE names, not firsts. You both had agreed you wanted your baby to have her own unique first that belonged to just her.
He ignores you for now, hoping you can see the ‘please forgive me’, in his pupils as your mom goes to hug and kiss his messy hair like a bird feeding its young in the nest.
You clear your throat, eager to get her hands off your man and back on to the one actually giving her the grandbaby. “I think it’s time we settle down in our room. Right Momma?”
“Oh, you know your way up, I wanted to show Joel some of my new kitchenware—I just couldn’t decide what to buy so I got everything, knowing you’d be by this weekend! Come on, you can pick the ones you like.”
She grasps his hand and guides him, side to side with her piddled feet, into the next room and leaving you alone.
-
The blunt edges of your chewed up nails dig into Joel’s meaty chest. there are wrinkles in your forehead from how tightly concentrated you are at riding back and forth on his cock, your belly dragging along his and hips slamming down aggressively as you ride him with the pent up fury of the day.
Joel’s got a mix of emotions: your tight pussy sucking him in, kissing your cervix with each swallow, deep and delicious in that tight heat, plus the sheer feel and sight of you so pregnant yet fucking him so furiously while he lies back and takes it all in, trying not to cum too soon—but also knowing you’re more angry than you are thinking about the sex you’re having, and you’re going to injure yourself by all this energy not driving you anywhere closer to an orgasm, and he knows he has to works out the knot in your brain before you can let the knot in your tummy snap.
“Why are you so upset?” He asks as his head rubs up along the pillow from each bounce of your body atop him.
“M—m not—upset,” you stammer, your fingers gripping his flesh even harder and slamming yourself down on his cock like you want to hurt it.
You’re sweating, visibly aggravated and probably in pain but refuse to quit.
Maybe you need this, but as he glances down at your bulging pregnant belly that is also being shaken up like a martini, he decides that his unborn baby doesn’t need brain damage too from your furious fucking.
Joel’s hands glide up along your flexed arms until he’s cupping your cheeks gently, wiping the tear that is building along your eyelashes. You slow your pace until you’re just sitting on top, impaled on his cock and letting out an exhausted huff.
“So why are you upset?” He asks calmly.
“You’re MY husband,” you say, and though your voice is full of confidence at the statement, it quivers just a bit at the end.
Joel knew you would be pent up. That your mom was too touchy with him, and in his good faith to keep her good favor, he leaned in and let her butter him up, gave her the attention and kisses and hugs she asked for, and now its getting to you, and you’re jealous of your own mother—
“--and I’m HER daughter. But now she’s acting like you’re her favorite child too, even though I’m the one giving the grandbaby here, I used to be her favorite kid! Just me! I used to be the one BEGGGING her to give ya a chance but now suddenly she’s also loving you, out of the fucking BLUE, like you’re all special when IT SHOULD JUST BE ME—.”
He blinks for a second, and you squeeze your walls around him as if signaling you’ll cut it off if he dare try to act confused.
“Wait, are you jealous… of me?”
Your eyes drift away, just in time for Joel to have the worst fucking reaction by chuckling so hard that the two of you are rolling over to your side.
He wipes his reddened face and calms his breathing so he can talk.
“That why you’re fuckin’ me like you wanna break me?”
Maybe you did want to make a point to anyone who might be in the house about the hierarchy over who’s got right’s to loving Joel…specifically, to make that clear TO Joel himself.
He scootches as close as he can, despite the big baby between your middles, and rubs his nose along yours, his palm brushing your cheek and centering your focus entirely on him.
“I’d shoot myself if I had to spend more than just this weekend with your mom. She’s nice, but I couldn’t EVER stand around bein’ pinched in the cheeks like that. Always doting on my ass all day, tryin’ to service me and make me feel like a spoiled porcelain doll that needed nurturin’ like a baby 24/7. I’d feel like a useless fuck. I think she n’ I are kinda alike in that. Wantin’ to take care of what’s ours.”
You snort in the boogers pooling in your nostrils.
“Look, It’s nice gettin’ praise, THAT you could give me more of.”
“I don’t wanna talk about my mom when you’re inside me.”
“Then lets talk about you being a momma while I’m inside you.”
“Yeah… but I liked being the only one she adored. Now I gotta share?? With you????”
You nod shyly but agree. “I do appreciate you. I’ll try better to show it.”
“Nah, don’t want you to change. N’ I need you to listen to this because I know you’re gonna leave some details out intentionally when you go tattlin’ to Maria—but being pregnant with you has been the best adventure we’ve been on so far. You keep me on my toes and keep life interesting. I like the smile on your face when I give ya something only I can give. The dance you do when you get your little cookie dough milkshake thing, and the pout you make when I tell ya no, and you get all cute on me and do some ridiculous shit that I can’t deny you anymore cuz fuck, I want you happy sooo bad, and I wanna be the one that does it. YOU make me feel special.”
He smiles, stroking the hair away from your eyes. “Think of it this way: when did she suddenly start showin’ me some special treatment? When I put a baby in your belly. That’s it. She’s happy to be getting a grand kid, and she knows I’m officially stuck with you so might as well get used to it. I’m here to stay. “Ya spent so long tryin’ to get her to like me. She does now. Job well done! You don’t have to stress anymore. No need to get all greedy, baby though I know that’s just your thing,” he teases, rubbing his knee along your thighs to part them again.
You furl your lower lip out in a childish pout. “I think the baby is making me possessive over my belongings.”
“Oh? I’m a belonging now?” He wiggles his eyes brows. Slightly more relaxed, he takes advantage and smoothes his palm down your arm, behind your waist to squeeze your ass.
He’s about to pull you in for a victory kiss when your eyes shoot open.
“Wait… am I… the useless spoiled porcelain doll that needs nurturing 24/7 that you have to dote on all day??????”
“No! No you’re not useless!”
He’s offering a sweet smile, rubbing your shoulder with encouragement as a pregnant pause fills the air.
“…you got anything else you wanna deny in that or just that one part.”
He licks his lips before flipping you on your back and sliding down between your legs.
“You know what the BEST pie is?”
T h e o n e b e t w e e n m y l e g s, you mouth out into the air, your belly conveniently keeping your lips out of frame as Joel spread your pussy and blows cool air on your nub.
“S’the one between your legs,” he whispers sensually against your thigh, nipping it and growling before dragging the tip of his nose through your slit, inhaling your scent.
You smile and cover your face with both hands. He’s cheesy, but he’s a keeper.
and maybe, just maybe, worth sharing the love with.
The love that is quickly about to be snuffed out for the both of you as your mom opens the door and begins asking "Joel did you want the red one or the blue--AH!"
Joel and you both frantically cover your lower half, his head accidetanlly bumping into your belly at the same you to strain your back trying to sit up.
"MOM, SERIOUSLY!?"
she slams the door closed but calls out through the wood: "Oh that is NOT appropriate for the baby!" before stammering away.
Joel just chuckles into your breasts. "How does she think I got the baby in you?"
You shake your head and smack him, trying to feel more ashamed then amused right now.
- - - -
More Momma in Law and Sarah
Taglist:
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So I can't edit this to show what it is exactly, but I basically just got shamed by a Facebook "friend" for offering to share this link to get laundry supplies for my birthday. So now I'm miserable and that wasn't what I'd wanted to happen at all.
So if anyone would like to cheer me up, this is my family's Homeless Supplies list. I need as much of the laundry and disinfectant stuff as I can get. Clothes for me (or even my mom, because she still needs pants) would be a huge help, as I lost 40 pounds last year and most of my stuff is too big or it's full of holes. Food is much appreciated by all three of us.
Can't help? Reblog. Don't care/don't want to help? Don't be an asshole about it. Just ignore me or block me or whatever. But I am thankful to everyone who has helped, everyone who continues to help us, and everyone who is inspired to help. It's basically a waiting game with disability at this point for us to get housing, so all I can do is wait and hope.
But yeah. If you can help, or even just reblog, it would remind me there are good people in the world, and I sorely need that as much as I need anything on the list.
#signal boost#mutual aid#mutual aid request#urgent#direct action#community aid#amazon wishlist#please boost#please reblog#please share#please help#anything helps#help needed#donations#homeless support#groceries#laundry detergent#clothing
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Yandere Stardew Valley- Sebastian
I've been playing some Yandere Stardew mods recently. While I love them..... I feel like they do my husband (Sebastian) wrong. The citizens of Pelican Town are telling me that they can't hang out with me because Sebstian threatened them. That they've noticed some weird behavior. That he's physically violent. I disagree with all of these for Sebby.
He's our hot programmer boyfriend who lives in his basement bedroom, and only emerges to enjoy a smoke break, or to go see his friends. Now, while again, I do enjoy playing the mods...... I think his cannon behavior sets him up to be the perfect chronically online yandere. Pelican Town isn't exactly the most connected (6 out of the 11 rivals have access to a computer), but there's still potential. Obviously they're gonners if they have a computer. Sam finds himself doxed after making a comment about the gifts you gave him this week, and poor Haley's socials are blowing up with hate comments- from her personal insta to her photography blog.
But what about the other 5? The ones who are more disconnected? Well. It's easy enough to get Shane fired from joja. A little email to Morris from "HQ" saying he either fires Shane or his own pay gets docked..... well. Suddenly, everyone's favorite alcoholic doesn't even have a job anymore. Elliott suddenly has all these taxes he hasn't paid on his little shack..... beachfront properties cost a lot, you know. The parents stop letting Penny watch their kids after some..... explicit photos get leaked. It doesn't matter that they're edited. These people don't know about Photoshop. All they know is apparently Penny's making ends meet to support her mother..... and there's a new favorite subject to gossip on between all the older women. The other rivals are equally taken care of. All you need to focus on now is how Sebastian is the only reliable option in the whole damn town.
And he knows you so well, doesn't he? You, who lived away from it all until now. You, who WAS connected to the internet. Who had their entire life detailed through Facebook updates and Instagram posts. Honestly, Sebastian thinks that maybe he DOESN'T need to leave Pelican town... looking at the life you lived before coming to the valley, he thinks its much easier to keep you safe when he can control everything that goes on. There were too many factors to your old life. Too many parties to go to, coworkers to talk to, ex-boyfriends/girlfriends worry about. No. Sebastian thinks that city life isn't fit for the two of you to start you life together.
While he enjoyed seeing the trip down memory lane of who you were before becoming the farmer, and learning more about your likes and dislikes, he much prefers this version of you. The version of you who he found bouncing on their toes outside his door, excitedly shoving a frozen tear at him. Who eventually became the only person he was genuinely excited to have come barging into his room unannounced. And the thought of moving into the farm with you was all together far too tempting. He can picture it already. He'd set up a little area to work on his bike, he'd help out around the farm for you (he saw your hands covered in scrapes and splinters one day, and you sheepishly told him your fences had started wearing down.... but fixing a fence was another first for you. So you ended up scraping yourself up a bit on the old wood. Now, Sebastain, who, while he doesn't enjoy it, grew up with a carpenter mother..... well. He's going to make sure you never have that many splinters again.) Oh and he can already imagine it. The two of you, far away from the rest of the town, from prying eyes, no one to hear what you two would get up to as he helped you relax after a long day of working the feilds.....
This fantasy would sustain him until you eventually asked him to marry you. I don't think he would rush anything. To you, and the rest of the citizens, he was just normal Sebastian. Showing up for band practice, playing pool at the bar (although he seemed to play much better when a certain farmer came to watch). He just realized that the best way to control all the factors in town would be to remain anonymous. Avoid suspicion. After all. In a small town like that, it would be all too easy to turn against him if he decided to publicly threaten someone. And how would you react if you came to drop off some fresh sashimi to your boyfriend, only to find him being dragged out of his house by Clint, with Marlon standing nearby, ready to ship him off to face justice in the adventurers guild? No. That wouldn't do. He can't add any more stress to you like that. He'd remain the puppeteer, pulling the strings of the valley.
This isn't to say Sebastian never stalks you in person or anything like that. He can't help himself. He's a night owl. He knows the villagers schedules, has since before you even came to town. So, he knows he can get away with digging in the trash to find the straw you threw away at the bar. And if someone does hear him.... well. Linus is going to be everyone's first thought. He does, however, start adopting a stricter routine as far as monitoring your house after you mention how you sell your produce.
Sebastian was rightfully horrified when you explained that Mayor Lewis comes by your farm at night to collect anything you wish to sell. How it's such a relief to be able to just chuck things in the the bin as you're rushing to bed at 1:50 in the morning, only to get up first thing and start your day again, and not have to worry about lugging all your goods to the store. Sebastian won't criticize you for the lack of sleep..... no. That's not what's worrying. What's worrying is that this old man who has a gold statue of himself and who gets it on in the bushes with his secret girlfriend (of course Sebastian knows about that) is showing up to your house sometime after 2 am. His mind flashes back to his fantasy of the two of you, completely alone on the farm.... and then is mortified as this fantasy morphs into a nightmare where he looks up from bed with you, and sees Lewis' wrinkled face peering through the window. Yea. No. Sebastain installs some hidden cameras to make sure Lewis doesn't get up to anything funny while you're defenseless, asleep, alone..... ok he might need to get a new mayor elected. The old man might just have to go. Perhaps to a home outside the town. Regardless, he makes sure Lewis stops coming by as frequently. Frustratingly, he isn't able to completely stop it, but that'll be an easy fix once the two of you are married. He'll act surprised, "wow Lewis, that's so kind of you to help out the farmer all this time. But hey, don't worry, I'll take over. I'm up late anyways, and it's the least I can do!" But Sebastian still wakes up in a cold sweat and frantically rushes to check the cameras, making sure you're OK. That Lewis really is just checking the shipping bin.
Once y'all get married, he shows a bit more of that possessive side to you. But you chalk it up to just bedroom spicy time, and honestly find his hand tightening on your waist as Elliot asks you to read his latest poem hot.
Just. Yandere Sebastian brain rot.
#yandere#yandere stardew valley#yandere blog#yandere imagine#tw yandere#obsessive yandere#stardew valley#yandere sebastian#obsessive love#yandere blurb#yandere scenarios#irl yandere#irl darling#yandere drabble#yandere x reader#yandere x you#yandere x darling
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...heyyy 😛😛😛 it's the one who asked 4 the hawkeye & punisher trans hcs, turned out perfect btw LOVED IT 2 BITS!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! also anything hawkeye related I also read with pace u write so good and u literally have the inability to ever write ooc it's!!! insanne!!!!!!!
um ❤😛 if u need ben & johnny stuff.... u could do.... reaction 2 be trans .. again... maybe... 🔥🔥🔥
Thank you so much!! I'm so happy you liked the first part, and I'm so honored you think I don't write ooc- literally my worst fear every time I post something.
Also I apologize Ben's part is like half the size of Johnny's, I just think he's more forward than anyone else? Might be tweaking
Before you read, please be warned that I'm writing based on my impressions of them not only in the game (though it's the biggest inspiration), but some of them with the movies/shows in mind too.

This guy…. THIS GUY. He's well versed on things like this, he knows trans people exist- but that doesn't mean he's great at being around them.
It's not like he's intentionally rude, and if he's informed about it he does try, but he's just really- REALLY- bad at remembering anything. He can't remember people's names unless they're someone he interacts with every day, he can't remember phone numbers- hell it took him years to remember his sisters new last name after she got married!
But he does try.
While he does know more than probably the people around him- the people he hangs out with- but he's not great at noticing, you have to tell him to his face. He ignores everything about it until he's told, and then it all clicks. So that's why you were so iffy about this or that, that's why you had this specific clothing piece or started doing that with your hair. Genuinely, it all is basically blocked out of his head until he's told, so you have to tell him yourself- he will not figure it out for himself.
When you do eventually tell him, he does everything he possibly can. He's spending his money on you in any way you allow him to, buying you any gender affirming things you need, he's paying for your haircut and taking you to the best stylist or his barber (who's also the best, obv), he's got your expenses- just say what you need.
Johnny is the type of guy to definitely be defensive over his friends, and even strangers, that are minorities. If anyone were to misgender you or say your dead name he would definitely stand up and correct them- usually politely first but if it keeps happening he'll just get more and more aggressive about it.
And yes, he will go to pride with you (not like he needs you to go, he's definitely gone by himself because- duh, it's Johnny Storm!!), or even go to doctors appointments if you're getting affirming care. He can do your shots for you too, if you don't want to do them yourself.

Ben is a guy who knows what it's like to be different, though not in the traditional sense. While he's not super knowledgeable of most of this stuff, he's a guy who is supportive no matter what.
It's all still new for him, yes, but he does learn as the days go by- willingly, might I add. He's probably in those queer NYC Facebook groups and asks questions in them all the time to understand more, and thankfully many people are willing to answer.
He isn't the type of guy to assume outright, if he suspects he'll ask after about a week of mulling it over- he doesn't want to be rude. If he's right he gives himself an imaginary pat on the back, good job him for that.
If you don't want anyone to know about it yet he'll keep it a secret, he wants you to make you comfortable.
Going back to Ben knowing what it's like to be different, he's so willing to be there if you need to talk about it. Truly, he's someone who knows what it feels like, and if you want advice or comfort he's your guy.
He's also the type of guy to buy you stuff if you need it, though not as much as Johnny, he's more of a words of affirmation guy- which does shine through during one on one moments together, he's real poetic when he wants to be.
Again, just like Johnny, he does stand up for you if you can't do it yourself- but if you can he'll take a step back to let you handle it yourself. Definitely the “they/he/she asked for no pickles” guy more than anything.
#marvel rivals#marvel rivals x reader#marvel#marvel x reader#johnny storm x reader#johnny storm#human torch x reader#marvel rivals human torch#human torch#ben grim x reader#ben grim#the thing x reader#the thing
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Date - Miguel Alfaro (S.W.A.T)
summary: just when you vowed you would never date another cop.
"I hate these."
I chuckled as I looked over at the passenger seat where my partner was sitting with his foot propped up on the dash.
"I don't know, it's a nice change of pace once in a while."
"Nothing ever happens. We just sit around until SWAT is done and usually everyone's dead so we don't even get to save any lives."
I chuckled.
"Why you so bitter today?"
He shook his head.
"Would it have anything to do with Britney changing her relationship status to its complicated on facebook last night like we're back in middle school?"
"I don't even want to talk about it. That girl is going to be the death of me."
"Then leave. You're the one who keeps going back for more."
"You're single, you don't understand."
I nodded.
"Well, if what you two have is love, I don't want no part of it."
He nodded as we heard the first gun shots echo out of the house.
"If you volunteer us for one of these again I swear I'm asking for a different partner."
I shook my head and looked over at the house where the officers were starting to come out.
"Who's Hondo's new guy?"
I shrugged my shoulders as I watched the team make their way down the driveway from the house.
"Earth to (Y/N)."
I quickly looked over at my partner.
"Huh?"
"I said that we should probably get out there and see if anybody needs our help, but maybe you should go introduce yourself to Mr. New Guy the way your eyeing him up right now."
"I don't date cops anymore remember? Let's go."
I pushed open the driver's door of the ambulance and walked off towards the house and Hondo smiled.
"There's my favourite paramedic."
I smiled.
"Anybody need our help up there?"
Hondo shook his head.
"I told you."
"Ignore him, he's bitter because the girl he's seeing put their relationship status as its complicated on facebook last night."
"Ouch."
I chuckled.
"Who's your new guy?"
"Miguel Alfaro. Transfer from Long Beach."
"She thinks he's hot."
"Okay. Well, I think it's time for us to hit the road. It was nice seeing you Hondo."
"You too kiddo."
I smiled as I turned around to make my way back towards the ambulance.
"Hey (Y/N/N)!"
I smiled as I turned around at the sound of Tan's voice.
"You're still coming for drinks tonight right?"
"Wouldn't miss it. Meet you at HQ?"
"Yeah."
I nodded and took one last look over at Miguel and gave him a small smile before I turned around and shook my head slightly to myself.
"You don't date cops huh?"
I rolled my eyes at my partner as I closed the door to the ambulance as a call came in.
"Now we're in business."
I rolled my eyes as he flicked the lights and sirens on while I drove off towards our next patient.
When I opened my locker at the end of the day I sighed. When I got dressed this morning, I totally forgot that I had agreed to go to drinks with Tan, Luca and Powell.
"Nothing to impress the cop you swear you're not gonna date in there?"
I rolled my eyes. Of course he blabbed to everyone how I found Hondo's new guy hot.
"I'm gonna kill him."
"Look you've been single since you and that loser broke up, it would be nice to see you with someone else. Plus just because he was a cop and a shitty person doesn't mean all of them are the same right?"
I sighed.
"Yeah you're right."
She smiled.
"Always am. Let me know how you're night goes."
I nodded. I quickly changed into my blue jean shorts and the black slightly cropped t-shirt I wore this morning. I quickly laced up my white Converses and headed down to SWAT HQ.
I was leaning back onto the hood of my Mustang just scrolling through my phone when I heard the familiar voices of my friends.
"There you guys are. I've been waiting out here forever."
"Forever the dramatic this one. Alfaro meet (Y/N). Our favourite paramedic."
I smiled as he approached me with the rest of the group.
"Miguel."
"Nice to meet you Miguel."
"Likewise. This your ride?"
I nodded.
"She loves that car more than anything."
I rolled my eyes.
"Are we going to get drinks or what?"
"Let's go. You know the place."
I nodded.
"One round says I can get there before you."
Tan nodded.
"I'll take that bet."
I chuckled and shook my head as I pushed myself up and opened my driver's door and ducked inside.
Of course I got there before Tan and he shook his head as he pulled the Charger in behind my car as I was getting out of my car.
We all pilled inside the crowded bar and we all ordered ourselves some drinks before Tan, Luca and Alfaro went to play darts while Powell and I sat at the bar.
"So what's the deal with Alfaro?"
"So the rumours are true?"
"What rumours?"
"That you think he's hot."
I shook my head as I took a sip of the beer that was in front of me.
"He's single. And I think you'd be good for him actually."
"How so?"
"His love life is a mess, but he's got potential."
I nodded as I looked over at the guys and I heard Zoe chuckle.
"You're starring."
I shook my head as I downed more of my beer before I looked over at her.
"I dated a cop once before."
"Luca told us."
"Luca's a blabber mouth. Did he tell you what happened?"
"Not exactly. Just said it ended badly."
I nodded
"Luca is really the only one who truly knows how bad things were for me after the break up. I crashed on Luca's couch for three months after the break up. He destroyed me. Mentally. He wouldn't even want me to see Tan and Luca because they quote on quote wanted to sleep with me."
Zoe nodded.
"I haven't dated since him and deep down in my brain I know not all cops are like him, just look at Tan and Luca, but..."
"But you're scared to trust again. Especially a cop. I get it, but I've knowned Alfaro for a while. You can ask Luca about him too."
I nodded.
"Yeah, enough of this. Let's go school those boys at darts."
Zoe nodded as we both got up and joined in on the dart game the boys had going.
"So (Y/N) tell me how'd you get roped in with these guys?"
I chuckled as I threw my dart my dart at the board.
"I saved Tan's life."
"You just love to tell that story to everybody don't you?"
I chuckled.
"He asked."
Tan shook his head.
"Well go on."
"It was my first week on the job and this one gets himself shot in his leg hitting his femoral artery."
Tan rolled his eyes.
"She miraculously clipped the artery and I didn't die. The end."
I chuckled.
"There's a little more to that story but yeah essentially that's the big picture of it. When I went to check on him in the hospital I met Hondo, Deacon, Luca and Buck."
Miguel nodded.
"After he got out of the hospital he tracked me down and came to the firehouse I work at, while he was on shift which was a pretty bold move, and brought me coffee and some flowers to say thank you and we kind of just clicked as friends and Luca here has always been the big brother I never had."
Miguel nodded.
"So you transferred from Long Beach right?"
He nodded.
"Don't go there."
I furrowed my eyebrows as I looked over at Luca.
"Yeah I know Street."
I nodded.
"Not a fan I'm guessing?"
"We're not exactly best buds."
I nodded.
"I get that. I don't know how Chris puts up with him honestly."
"Not a fan?"
I shrugged.
"After he stopped hitting on me, we got along okay but we don't exactly keep in touch or anything."
Miguel nodded.
"Should we go or?"
I rolled my eyes as I looked over at Tan and walked over to the dart board and grabbed the darts.
"Don't make me turn these into a weapon."
Tan held his hand up and everybody chuckled as I handed the darts to Zoe so she could play.
We played a few mores rounds of darts and eventually decided it was late enough since we all had to be on shift again tomorrow.
"See you around loser."
I rolled my eyes as Tan walked over to the Charger with Zoe and Luca.
"Luca, wait up."
Luca gave me a questioning look and I looked over at Tan.
"I'll get him home."
Tan nodded and Luca didn't question it as he walked over to me. He leaned his forearms on the hood of my car and gave me a questioning look.
"Alfaro."
"What about him?"
"What's your read on him?"
"I knew you liked him."
I sensed my cheek turning a light shade of pink so I just put my head down and smiled to myself.
"He's a good kid. Love life wise Zoe would know more than me but he seems alright."
I nodded.
"She said he's single and that he had potential."
Luca nodded.
"So why you asking me?"
"Because I don't want ever want to be the same girl who crashed on your couch for three months."
Luca nodded.
"My opinion, you should go for it."
I nodded as Miguel walked out of the bar and headed over to us instead of his car which was parked at the end of the street.
"I'll give you two a minute."
I nodded as Luca pulled open my passenger door and ducked inside my car while I met Miguel at the back of my car where I hoped Luca couldn't hear our conversation.
"Look, hum, you seem really cool and this was fun and all but I was thinking maybe we could do it again some time? Just the two of us?"
I smiled and nodded.
"Yeah I'd like that."
He nodded as I pulled my phone out of my back pocket and found my messages.
"Just text yourself that way you have my number."
He nodded as he took a hold of my phone and texted himself. I smiled as he handed me back my phone and I put it away in my back pocket.
"I'm surprised Luca is letting you drive him."
I chuckled as I looked back at my car.
"Yeah I should probably go before he gets too grumpy."
Miguel nodded.
"Yeah for sure, I'll text you."
I nodded as I turned on my heel and headed to my car. I quickly ducked inside and Luca gave me a look.
"Don't even say anything."
I started my car and Luca just laughed.
"Alfaro and (Y/N) sitting in a tree..."
"I swear to god Luca if you continue singing that song you will have to walk all the way to your house."
He chuckled.
"I'm just happy for you that's all."
#swat cbs#swat x reader#swat imagines#swat imagine#swat#miguel alfaro imagine#miguel alfaro imagines#miguel alfaro x reader
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wait, can i ask why DNA doesnt matter when it comes to knowing if youre cherokee? doesnt having the dna confirm you having the ancestry? i dont understand why it is different, i would love to understand
So first off, DNA tests are strictly for entertainment. They are not super accurate, they're basically just for the novelty of it. Being able to enroll in a federal tribe is a legal matter, it's a matter of actual citizenship in a sovereign nation. A government entity like a native tribe will not accept a commercial DNA test as legal proof of ancestry.
A DNA test will not tell you you are cherokee. It'll say 'Indigenous Americas- North,' so it doesn't connect you to any tribe in particular. That isn't useful, you can't assume that a trace native result means your cherokee granny story is true. Even if you take a dna test and you have a like 20% native result, you'll still have to do genealogy to find the actual legal records connecting you to a certain tribe.
DNA tests are not accurate. For example, my mom took a 23andme DNA test a few years back and it gave her a 0.1% native trace ancestry result. She will bring it up and say 'oh I'm native!!' when she feels like it'll make her sound cool, but she's also done her genealogy back generations on all lines and there is zero native ancestry there. This happens a lot. Vs me, I took an ancestry.com DNA test [it was a gift, I wouldn't have done one otherwise I don't really care], and it says I am 100% European. Yet, my cherokee ancestry is easily found in my genealogy, and the DNA tests matched me with cousins who descend from the same Cherokee ancestors and who do have a native result. So you can't trust a positive Or negative result. It just isn't useful in this case lol
I will say, they can be useful when it comes to connecting with family as an adoptee or if you don't have contact with that side of your family. My friend has been able to find lots of cousins through their DNA test, which has helped them a lot since they were adopted.
Some tribes, like the EBCI, do use proper paternity DNA tests for enrollment. These are actual legal tests, though, not gimmicky kits.
So basically, even if you do get a native result on a dna test, you'll still need to do genealogy to confirm it, find what tribe, and find how they connect to you. For cherokees, family and kinship is super important, you'll often be asked who your family is, who your ancestors are, etc, it's part of our culture. If you are going to be claiming cherokee ancestry, you're going to be asked who you are. If your response is 'I got a native result on my dna test' you're going to get laughed at. To claim cherokee, you need to know who your family is, how you're connected to the people, that way you can actually find where you fit with the community. I've randomly found a cousin while visiting Cherokee NC, where I was introducing myself with my line and the guy I was talking to was like 'oh I'm a [surname] too!' And we were able to right there figure out exactly where we connected, which of our ancestors were siblings even when they lived in the early 1800s.
The genealogy will allow you to see if you can enroll as a citizen, teach you about your ancestors, help you find cousins, etc. Cherokee genealogy isnt hard, we are very well documented and there are plenty of resources available, like the Cherokee Research and Genealogy Facebook group ive mentioned before. You can point to an indigenous DNA result all you want, but it won't mean anything to us and it won't get you anywhere. Remember, to claim cherokee is to claim to be a part of a living people, and to reconnect is to reconnect to this community. You can't do it alone, and if you don't have the proof that will legitimize yourself to other cherokees, you wont be accepted and no one will help you learn.
Just.. don't waste your money lol. You can confirm or deny cherokee ancestry properly with genealogy easily and cheaply, while DNA tests are expensive and won't actually do much of anything.
#cherokee#reconnecting#asks#this is rambly sorry#good question tho#i feel like im forgetting smth i might add it if i remember#theres a reason the cherokee genealogy group explicitely bans the discussion of dna tests#and if you see a test that does claim to be able to tell you specific tribes? it is 100% a scam.#theres also the point that the native dna databases are limited cuz natives in general often dont trust fucking corporations with dna sample
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Imagine you are a person who enjoys watching TV after a long day to decompress and be entertained for an hour or two without having to think too much. One day you discover this new show with Angela Basset and Connie Britton and decide to give it a chance. And wow, Athena's a badass! The emergencies are fun, the characters are very likeable, you keep watching. You are a little ambivalent about Buck at first, but he grows on you. You are sad when Abby leaves and breaks Buck's heart, so you hope Buck finds a nice girl to settle with eventually.
Years later, you learn this show you like is now on ABC. As usual, you are hooked with the opening emergency and excited for a new season. Then you see Buck kissing a man and get very confused. Why is he doing that? You've never even considered that Buck could be anything but straight, not even once. Isn't he always chasing girls? So he's suddenly gay? Well, no, he says he still likes women, so now he apparently likes men too. You're not sure about this new development, but whatever, this Tommy guy is charming and cool and seems very nice, and Buck looks really happy, and all of his friends and family are happy for him, even Bobby says he approves, so yeah, you guess you don't mind he has a boyfriend now, maybe he's just trying new things and soon he'll be with a new girl, or maybe this time it will work out, who knows, Tommy calling Buck Evan feels special.
You don't think about the show until September, when it's back on your TV. Okay, so Buck is still with that guy, they are cutesy and seem to really like each other, you realize you actually like them together. Tommy seems to care about Buck a lot, he looks at him like he hung the moon, he doesn't care Buck's face is full of boils or that he's convinced he's cursed, they are fun and adorable together. You see Buck saying that it's the people you love that makes life worth living while looking adoringly at Tommy, not with those words, but with that sentiment. You are glad Buck's finally found his person. And to be honest, you were a little tired of seeing him in a failed relationship after another, so this is great.
Then you see the next episode. Oh, they both dated Abby? Okay, it's a little weird, but just last season Eddie hooked up with his late wife's doppelgänger, so not the most soap opera-y thing this show has done, and it's normal a couple goes through a little bit of drama.
You see Buck say all of these things:
"Yes, I care about him a lot and his needs and wants are as important as mine."
"I don't like what he did to Abby, but I understand why he did it and I see myself having a future with him."
"Until now, Abby was my most important relationship. Now it's Tommy."
"I'm ready to take the next step with him, so I'd really like us to live together."
"It's still soon, but a future engagement and marriage are absolutely on the table."
"My first same-sex relationship can be my endgame."
"Why be apart when we can be together."
And Tommy says he wants more than anything to be Buck's last. So wow, okay! This is serious!
Then you get extremely confused when they break up. Weren't they just happy together a minute ago? Weren't they literally saying to each other how much they want a future together? They haven't said I love you yet, but the sentiment is absolutely there, no?
You usually don't think a lot about the show between one episode and the next, but this time you log on your Facebook and leave a message on the official page. "Hey, why did Buck and Tommy break up if they were so happy together? This feels so sudden and strange. I'd like to see more of this relationship!" You see more comments like yours, so it looks like more people think the same, it's not just you.
You don't read interviews. You are not on social media theorising about couch metaphors or the significance of certain wardrobe colors and you've never heard the words 'media literacy'. You just watch the show and saw a happy couple that you had already warmed up to break up for no reason at all and that left you confused and disappointed. You just don't have the energy to see Buck trying again with a different person, if it was bound to be another failed relationship why bother having Buck in a relationship with a man in the first place? Why so much effort in make you care about Tommy if it was for nothing?
But okay, Buck is baking constantly because he wants to reach out to Tommy, and Tommy also wants to reach out, and then you remember Maddie and Chimney also broke up and then got back together, and didn't Hen cheat on Karen all those years ago and they got past it? Surely if an infidelity wasn't a dealbreaker, Buck and Tommy can fix their issues. So they'll probably get back together when the show comes back, you think, especially now that Buck's best friend is leaving and oh, something is happening to Maddie too? Well, he's definitely gonna need the support of the man he loves, you conclude. Knowing this is how this show does drama, you don't think any more about it until it gets back months later.
And when the show comes back in March, it's possible you don't remember Tommy is a firefighter too, it's been too long since the last time it was mentioned. So maybe that's why the 217 shows up in an emergency and his name is mentioned.
And maybe you also forgot he was a pilot firefighter, so maybe that's why there's an helipad involved.
Because maybe those things are gonna be important for the emergency at the end of the season. Or maybe they won't. But you don't know nor care because you are not constantly obsessing about the show like we do, lol.
#bucktommy#so yeah#whatever way you look at it#it doesn't make any sense that this is it for them#and I'm still confident there's gonna be more#clown make-up and all that#911 discourse
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It's like Tumblr has become almost a diary for me, thanks to no character limit and a read more button. This atmosphere of acceptance and understanding helps a lot too.
I'll get back to posting actual art, juggling with Twitter and Bluesky along with commissions is taking up a lot of my time.
Anyway, thoughts about art community and being social
For the longest time I've had this feeling of being an outsider in this vague community of artists that see as colleagues of sorts. Like I meet all the "criteria" of being in the group, and yet don't really feel like I'm part of it. Well, it seems I am right in some way, and the reason is that they interact with each other, while I sit here drawing alone.
Unfortunately I've always been prone to isolate myself from others. I grew up feeling like I should be ashamed of loving to draw, since it was always fanart monsters, creatures and cool guys instead of "proper art" like animals and portraits. Before social media, I only drew for myself and never showed anything to anybody. I hid my art from my family, from the world, so that I wouldn't be judged. I think it is one of the biggest reasons why I have trouble interacting with people in the context of art (tbh I'm shit at being social anyway but that's a whole another problem).
Even when I had a scanner and means to post my art online, I never did, due to the whole "if you put something online it'll be there forever" mindset. My first actual account anywhere online must've been Facebook in 2010ish, where I only had a few friends. It was the perfect place for me to finally post anything online, and so I did: I used to post pretty much everything I drew on there. Slowly gaining courage, I eventually made my original Tumblr account, then Deviantart, Twitter, etc.
Still, all I did was throw my art out there in hopes of somebody liking it. I didn't really know how to interact with the people who commented on my posts, so instead I mostly just... made more art. I did have some friend groups here and there, but either they ended up falling apart or my social battery drained in such a way that I slowly drifted away. I had gotten used to just being by myself and relying only on myself in the online art world.
During my design studies, I started putting more thought and work on promoting myself, so that it could be one career path for me to take. My mindset was that I'll work hard and become "big", even if it meant that one post gained me just one follower. In 2020 I ended up going viral with a meme and suddenly getting tens of thousands of followers. It was great and a welcome boost of morale, but unfortunately 2020 was otherwise one of the worst years in my life.
Throughout the years people have come and gone, so the only constant for me has been myself, and my drive to develop my skills. Thus it's been too easy for me to just isolate myself. In a way it has been my strength with regards to art, but sometimes I wish I knew how to make lasting connections. I think/know I might be autistic to some degree, which adds to the difficulty of being social. Though, to be honest, I don't know if I'd gotten this far without my autistic hyperfixations.
I guess the thing I need to do now to fix this problem of loneliness and isolation is to just... slowly try and be more social. To reply to comments and talk to people. All of which is easier said than done. Still, just gotta take that first step and then keep going.
Despite lacking the kind of community I yearn for, it seems I've made a name for myself, enough so that people seem to take pride in knowing me. Or at least that's the impression I've gotten a few times. But still, I am happy that I've had a positive effect on people. After all, my two main motivators in art are that I like doing it, and I like when people enjoy my art.
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hello, i love tsukasa suou and you love tsukasa suou what if i request for hcs for tsukasa crushing on someone who likes him back after experiencing an unrequited love? ((Definitely not talking about your floating series)) Anyways thank you and have a nice day~!

summary head canons for crushing! tsukasa. read ask for more details <3
pairings tsukasa suou x gn reader
tw none!!
a/n chat i love tsukasa suou!! also floating timeline!! tsukasas old crush is now leo's s/o 🥲🥲 but ofc you don't have to read the whole smau to understand this <3
hayst how do i even explain this?? this poor baby would just be finished healing from his old crush, when he saw you walking down the halls of yumenosaki.
other knights could see how much he adored you just because of his eyes, the way it would immediately soften once his stares landed on you.
as a lesson from his old crush, he avoided you. it was already obvious that tsukasa was still affected by what happened. just a happy crush— that's all it i-
@rizztsu_kumaz : why the fuck are you stalking their parents on facebook
@tsuk4s4_suou : LISTEN TO ME. listen.
he's either in denial, or is doing anything and everything in his power to make a move. from adjusting his classes to be in the same class with you to literally fullblown asking you out.
GENTLEMAN!!! offers to help you with everything and anything, even if its just carrying your bag, he'll do it just for you! he's down bad can you tell?
once he sees you returning his affection, he's going to go crazy (mentally, don't worry) also especially adores it whenever you run your friends fingers through his hair.
starts rambling to knights about it once more, and knights being excited about his new little crush for him and for you!! but in this case it's a bit obvious to them that you like him back. unfortunately tsukasa does not see that ummm..
his heart starts beating out of his chest whenever you smile at him, even if too just locked eyes for a glance. a very obvious blush creeping on to his face, it makes you giggle.
when he confesses— it's really very sudden. he has it all planned out, until he's standing right in front of you in the place where he asked you two to meet.
“i really like you, more than just a friend!" ?????
VERY surprised and emotional once he realizes you like him back, and gives you one of the most comforting hugs that has ever been given to you.
GREENEST FLAG EVER, would have no problem setting up boundaries, or even court you first before properly being your boyfriend.
tsukasa's the type of boyfriend to make you a playlist on spotify, write you proper love letters, take you out to frequent dates, and most importantly, be there for when you need him the most.
clingy, very clingy. you wish you could say you're shocked but at this point, i think we all know he's a little bit needy in the inside just for your affection and love for him ;(
after a long day, he always finds himself in your arms and his face practically buried into your chest as you comb his hair with your fingers— just how he likes it.
rich boyfriend, has an issue with spending all his allowance and his savings from working with knights on you. but of course he spends it responsibility!
when it comes to you though? uhhh.. not really that responsible. you want something? use his card. you're asking for his card to buy something? which one do you want to use? (he literally owns a rolex wtf.. it's so expensive??)
YEAHH.. but you're not that mean. the only time you ask for something is probably on your birthday if ever— only if he asks you. but its definitely going to be expensive.
and he says as an excuse, HE SAYS AND I QUOTE: "because you only deserve the best."
side eye.. okay mister smooth talker i see you???
myunghology: 🦭🦭🦭
#jian’s works!#ensemble stars x reader#enstars x reader#tsukasa suou x reader#enstars x you#enstars x y/n#tsukasa suou#ensemble stars headcanons#enstars#ensemble stars
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I posted the below on my Facebook. I am secretly trying to head things off at the pass. Every time people see pictures of me out and about, they think I have been magically cured or my health status has improved. And I know going to Florida is going to give people that impression.
But also, I just wish a few of my relatives could understand my situation better. And why I didn't come to Christmas. And why I might try to come to Christmas now.
I guess I'll see how this goes.
-----------------------------------
One of the biggest struggles I've had my entire adult life is explaining why I appear fine whenever people see me. I say I am very sick and bed-bound and then they see me and I am out of bed and talking and joking and... a normal healthy person.
What many don't realize is I am making a choice.
A choice to get sick.
I can use up all my energy in a short time frame to accomplish a difficult chore or entertain a friend or go to a doctor, but that is going to have a consequence.
The more I do, the more severe the consequence.
In the ME/CFS world this is called "post-exertional malaise." (for those interested, you can read more about it here: https://rthm.com/art.../what-is-post-exertional-malaise-pem/ )
Imagine every time you wanted to do something, you were *choosing* to get the flu.
Take a walk, get the flu.
Exercise, get the flu.
Spend a night out with friends, get the flu.
And you might be thinking, "Okay, it can't be as bad as the flu. I've had the flu and the flu sucks. No one would choose that."
I may not get the nasty respiratory symptoms, but everything else is pretty much the same. Crippling fatigue, horrible aches, and the loss of the will to do much of anything. Sometimes it is much worse than the flu. Some people don't know how much being this exhausted can hurt. They have never used up enough energy that their body is unable to power itself properly. I usually say it is like every cell in my body is starving and screaming for energy. I feel it in every inch of my body—and not just on the surface... through and through. So, like... cubic inches.
Sometimes I don't even have the energy to power my legs. Trying to stand feels exactly the same as trying to lift a barbell with way more weight than you can lift. I can't get upstairs or even walk to the kitchen. It's a concentrated misery that defies description, despite my constant attempts to try.
Sometimes I get lucky and this flu lasts for a day or two. But the more active I am, the longer it can last. And the severity increases as well. There is also a cumulative version of this—where if I do a bunch of little things over a longer period of time, eventually it will catch up to me and I may be stuck in bed for a few weeks.
And when I say "stuck in bed" I mean stuck in bed.
Short trips to the bathroom and a few minutes in the kitchen to make food. If I spend too much time upright, my legs will literally give out and I will be stuck on the floor until I recharge enough energy to get up again. It would be like every time you needed to get up, you had to hold your breath. Not to mention, the more I do, the longer the recovery will take.
For a long time I chose to never get the flu. I stayed in bed and did just enough to avoid the worst of PEM. I skipped family get-togethers. I didn't see my friends. And I lived my life inside the computer. Some may find that sad, but I actually found a way to make this work. I ran a successful blog that was seen by millions of people and I met my two best friends who I now consider my new family.
One thing that allowed me to choose not to get the flu was my parents. I fear some thought they were spoiling me. They did my laundry. They helped clean my room. They got my groceries. They cooked my food. They took on any chore they could so I could avoid the flu and live some semblance of a life on my computer. There is a lot of guilt wrapped up in that. I didn't ask them to do that. They just sort of... did. And I am so grateful to them.
To be fair, they would have to do these chores for themselves anyway, and tacking on my stuff wasn't a huge deal. But I know it caused them a little extra pain and a few post exertional consequences of their own. So I appreciated that sacrifice more than I can put into words.
But then they both got very sick. And not only could they not help me with my stuff, I had to help them with their stuff. And this was a difficult transition. I had to choose to get the flu to take care of my parents, but then if I got the flu, and I couldn't take care of my parents. I believe this is called a catch-22.
My initial solution was to just not take care of myself. At all. My health and mental well-being was set aside and I just gave all of my energy to them. I didn't shower. I forgot to take important medicines. I didn't do a single thing that brought me joy. And I'm reminded of that analogy of the airplane emergency where the oxygen masks drop. You put on your mask first before you put one on your child. Your instinct is to save them first at all costs. But if you pass out, they are screwed.
So I kept getting that cumulative version of the flu. I'd help them as much as I could for a week or a month and then I'd be useless to them for just as long. Living in the basement did not help. Stairs were very hard for me and constantly going up and down was a huge waste of energy.
And I'm sad to say, the level of care I gave to my mom was not great. I didn't know what I was doing. I didn't understand how to balance my needs with hers. And it led to costly mistakes. She had several preventable falls that caused injuries. At one point she spent hours on the floor because I fell asleep and did not check on her. When you know someone needs regular supervision, you need to synchronize sleepy time.
Thankfully I learned from all of these lessons. Maybe not as quickly as I would have liked, but I did figure it out. I just wish I had learned them before my mom passed. I just wasn't able to give her the help she needed.
And you can tell me "you did your best" all you like, but this isn't a guilt I am choosing. It's just there and I feel it no matter what anyone says. In time I am hoping it will get lighter, but I'm afraid it cannot be wiped away with a well-intentioned platitude.
But with my dad, I decided to move upstairs. That was something I should have done much sooner. But I liked having my personal space and that was hard to give up. When he slept, I slept. When he spent 4 hours at dialysis 3x per week, I would make sure to take care of any personal needs. I would do chores a tiny bit at a time. 5 minutes here, 5 minutes there. And then I would lay on the couch in between and regain my strength. I did everything possible to not get the flu. And I got my flu shots so I wouldn't get the actual flu. (Get your flu shot! 50K die from it every year!) The only hitch in my plan was when I got a kidney stone at the same time my dad was in rehab. I have no idea how I got us through that.
I was very proud of the care I was able to give my dad. And I'm so grateful I was able to pay back just a tiny bit of what my parents did to help me. And the care I gave my father is the only thing that helps me feel better about my failures with my mom.
But now I am entering a new chapter of my life. And I find myself choosing to get the flu more often. I have decided sometimes it is worth the consequences. Part of that is because I am more used to it after dealing with it for 20 years. I have coping mechanisms and procedures and techniques to manage the symptoms. It doesn't make them suck any less, but it definitely makes it more manageable. It's akin to people with chronic pain who still feel the pain just as profoundly as when it was new, but they get so used to it that they forget that isn't how they are supposed to feel.
I approached this scientifically. I did tests. I went to the movies. I tried once a week and that was too much. Then I scaled it back and that was more manageable. Then I realized I had movies at home and decided to end that experiment.
I started to put my energy into something I enjoyed more. My photography. So I have been finding new ways to take pictures again. More experiments. I'm designing a simpler studio that requires much less energy. I'm creating a little product photography workstation where I don't have to set up everything each time I want to take a cool picture of an object. It will just be "turn on the lights" and "take the pictures."
Figuring all of this out made me realize how much I missed photography. And since I have been shooting test pictures here and there, my mental health has been noticeably better. And once I get this all figured out and set up, I am hoping some of you will let me take your photo. Or a photo of your kid. Or a pet. Whatever you have that needs photographing, I'm game.
I'm not going to charge. It's not going to be a business. I do not have the energy to "hustle." And asking people for money just sucked all of the fun out of my beloved art form. It corrupted it. I just love taking pictures and if you need a photo, I'd like to do that for you. I also restore old photos for fun. I'll talk about all of this more in another post when I am ready to start.
And then my grand experiment is coming next week.
I am going to travel.
I am going to see my best friend in Florida for two days. Two days of travel and two days of visiting. This is a scary choice. I know the aftermath is going to be difficult. But I need to get out of this house. I need to see my chosen family in person. And I have never been on a plane and I love the perspective from high places. I know people hate air travel, but for me, looking out that viewport is stunning television that cannot be matched.
Purposely making myself sick sounds like a bad idea. But it isn't life threatening. I have the free time to recover as long as I need to. And I can always choose not to get sick for a while if it gets too hard.
I just ask that people not see this as going from a worse life to a better one. I was really proud of the life I was able to create for myself while staying in bed. That took a long time to figure out. I met some of my favorite people. And I accomplished things I couldn't imagine in my wildest dreams. Please do not shit on that life and think it was sad or meaningless. I was given that life as a gift from my parents and it kept me alive. It has always been a huge insult when people pitied that precious gift they gave me.
This is not a better life that I am trying to figure out. It is just better for me right now. My needs have changed. I have changed. So I am trying to adapt. I just ask that people understand when I go out and do something, please remember the choice I am making.
You may be tempted to say, "You are doing so much better!" I am not any better than I was 10 years ago. Actually, my health has degraded. It's just that before I didn't think getting the flu every time I did something was worth it. And I would hope everyone would understand that was a valid choice.
And now I am inviting those consequences.
On purpose.
Give me the flu, I guess.
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