#they don’t just defy heaven and earth and fate and all the powers that be

[is-the-watcher-video-cute]

I love the troupe so damn much. They are all trying their best despite their flaws and despite a fucked up world and a fucked up situation and seemingly everything trying to force them apart THEY STILL FUCKING CLAW THEIR WAY BACK INTO EACH OTHER’S ARMS CUZ THEY ARE A FAMILY AND THEY MEANT IT WHEN THEY SAID THEY WOULD NOT LEAVE ANYONE BEHIND

[kbtbb-soryu]

The Goddess That Defied Fate [Huedhaut x OC] Chapter 11

Shiro felt the oppressing air of the dimensional zone. It wasn’t as hard to breathe as it would have been if she had been fully human. She felt it then. Hue’s power. He followed her here. She took off running.

“Hue!”

Hue appeared before her. ��Why did you call my name?”

“Isn’t that obvious? I don’t want you to die.”

Hue picked her up into his arms. As she closed her eyes and inhaled his scent while he carried her, a memory flashed to the forefront of her mind. But it wasn’t hers; It was Hue’s.

In front of the reflecting pool, after she had died. He seemed so sad.

“You were always, always so reckless. Throwing away your life… What a stupid thing to do.” Throwing away her life? She didn’t throw it away. “But I loved that about you. You had a strength that I never had.” The water rippled, images of scenes on Earth reflected on the pool’s surface. “You really were an incredible goddess of fate. You’re the reason the Earth is doing so well now.” His quiet voice changed. The sound of him slapping the surface of the water echoed in the air. “But who cares if the world continues on? Without you, it’s meaningless. Why did just you have to be sacrificed?! Why did you have to smile like that and insist on going? Why…? If you were alive, you’d probably laugh at me and call me a fool. But… I don’t care,” he said, slowly lowering his eyes to look back down at the water. “You became a sacrifice for the Earth… But… I’ll sacrifice anything, pay anything to keep your soul from being destroyed. As long as your soul lives on…” Shiro gasped, her eyes widening as she realised what it was that she was witnessing. This wasn’t just any memory; this was the memory of him using forbidden magic to save her soul. The second his hand touched his left eye, everything was enveloped in a blinding light. Hue screamed in pain.

“Lord Huedhaut?! What are you doing?!”

“Your left eye… No… This light has the power to interfere with life and death!”

“Someone call Lord Leon! The wise man, Lord Huedhaut, he’s—” Gods crowded around him. It was a gruesome sight. Hue’s devastating sadness, his determination. She did this. This was her fault. With the stars in his left eye, he pulled her soul back from the brink as it was about to disappear.

Shiro opened her eyes and found herself next to the reflecting pool in the heavens.

“Hue…” she choked out.  

“You… What in the world are you doing? Travelling through a different dimensional zone to reach me. That was not a sane thing to do.” Shiro chuckled as she got up and stumbled forward. “Don’t move. You really did a number on your body.” She didn’t listen to him, instead running at full force and throwing her arms around him.

“I can’t let you die,” she said. Shiro slowly looked down at the reflecting pool. Just like before, she saw the world she loved in complete chaos.

“This is all my fault. Being with me took you back to our past. And now, even your power has returned…”

“None of this is your fault,” Shiro said.

“The nonstop rain is affecting Earth in a variety of ways. If it continues, ecosystems will start to fail. It will lead to Earth’s destruction. I will take responsibility for everything.”

“Hue, my powers didn’t come back because I never lost them in the first place,” she told him. Hue’s eyes widened and Shiro softly touched his hair. His hair, the gentle, all-encompassing blue of the night sky. “This isn’t your fault, and you don’t have to do this by yourself. You’re always so awkward and you don’t rely on other people.”

“Not everyone is as good with people as you are.”

“I like that you’re awkward, and I don’t mind that you can be hard to understand sometimes, and I love your gentle nature, too. I don’t want you to disappear.” She coughed.

“You’re really exhausted, aren’t you?” Hue held her hand.

She shook her head. “I’ll recover.” She smiled up at him. “I really missed you, Hue.”

“You really are a fool, Shiro. I should know. I’ve been watching you the whole time.”

“You never came to see me.”

“Shiro.” Hue smiled. As he quietly wiped her wet cheeks, he spoke, “I still have the stars in my right eye. As long as I have them, I can fix anything.”

“You can’t! If you use the stars in your right eye, you’ll cease to be a god. You’ll die.” Fresh tears streamed down her cheeks.

“I can’t allow you to do that.” Shiro wasn’t at all surprised to hear that voice.

She turned around. “Zyglavis.” She knew he’d follow her here. 

“The situation has changed. The power this human possesses is stronger than I thought,” Zyglavis said.

“What do you mean?” Hue asked.

“Look into the reflecting pool. The Earth is in a crisis, and she’s not even there now. She’s affecting the entire planet negatively just by being alive. I don’t have another second to waste. Give me the girl, Huedhaut.”

“Do I look like I’m about to say, ‘Yes, sir!’ and hand her over? I don’t need another arrogant minister in my life. Leon is enough.”

“So you’re going to mutilate your other eye? She said it herself. If you lose the stars in both your eyes, you will die.”

“Maybe so, but that doesn’t change my mind,” Hue replied.

“What a fool. I thought you were an intelligent god. I was mistaken.”

“I don’t care what you say.”

Zyglavis’s voice boomed. “The former goddess laid down her life for the humans… Now, you’re going to lay down your life to save the goddess’s soul. Following in her footsteps? And on top of all that, you’re trying to lose another eye in front of the same fountain where you lost the last one. Wise man of the heavens, I wonder how much of this future you knew would come to pass.” His words were like a splash of cold water.

“You knew this was going to happen?” Shiro asked, looking at Hue.

“I suspected it might. My ability to see the future has its limits. I can’t see the future as it pertains to life and death. If I saw that… I’d want to use what I saw to change things,” Hue answered.

“You both want to protect each other… Ridiculous,” Zyglavis said.

“No matter what Zyglavis says, I will win this fight. I won’t let you die,” Hue told her.

“I’ve heard the pain of pulling the stars from your eyes is like torture. It’s madness, Huedhaut. This time, though, I’ll stop you before you’re able to experience that excruciating pain,” Zyglavis said.

“My, my. You never get tired of your own voice, do you, Zyglavis?” Shiro gasped and looked to the side.

“Kuro. You plan to stand in the way too, I see.” Zyglavis glared at her where she leaned against one of the pillars.

Kuro scoffed. “I bargained with the king when I became a goddess to be able to still see my sister. Do you really think I’d stand by while you try to kill her?”

“Ridiculous.” While Zyglavis was distracted by Kuro’s presence, Shiro felt the divine power from Hue emanating throughout the space. He held her from behind, his form changing.

“I’ve decided to protect you this time, even if you hate me for it.” Glowing with power in his god form, Hue reached for his right eye.

“I won’t let you!” Another gale, stronger than before, radiated from her body. “I love you too much, Hue! I won’t let you die!!” Golden light surrounded her as she tapped into her godly power. This wasn’t the end. She wouldn’t let it be the end.

Previous Chapter                                                                               Next Chapter

[billiewena]

since I never made a post for these, here are all of MY ideal endings for sam (and how I would do them) that I spite-wrote after a coworker told me about how perfect his finale was <3

HUNTER NETWORK ENDING: Sam establishes an official network for the American hunters, leading a new generation of hunters as the antithesis of John Winchester. One of the final shots is a montage of all the hunters working and saving people all across the country, proving the Winchesters are no longer alone in the world.

SAMWITCH ENDING: Sam becomes a full-fledged witch thanks to all the magic supplies he inherited from Rowena and blends hunting/witch shenanigans. He can still be powerful but now he gets to choose where that power comes from. Okay this is basically Goldenrod Revisions, leave me alone.

SEPARATE WAYS ENDING: Sam and Dean both alive but living / hunting apart, going their separate ways like a parent and child who is finally leaving the nest. Sam gets the independence he always wanted while also getting to keep his brother in his life, because this is the ultimate proof that Dean trusts him. For the first time, they can move on without the reason being the other is dead. They no longer doubt they will always be there for each other even if they’re not living under the same roof anymore. The episode ends with Sam breaking into Dean’s [insert post-finale residence of choice here] in a callback to the pilot, saying he was in the area for a hunt. The last lines are Sam asking if he wanted to reunite for the hunt for old’s time sake and Dean saying “looks we got work to do.”

PODCASTER ENDING: Sam starts a podcast about the supernatural discussing urban American legends, myths, and mysteries that also helps viewers know what to look for and maybe even teaches them to defend themselves. Some take it as fiction, some use what he tells them to save their lives. It hits the top of the paranormal/mystery charts. The Ghostfacers, whose attempt to get into podcasting failed, ARE livid.

THEY BOTH DIE AT THE END: Sam and Dean both die in a blaze of glory, sacrificing themselves to defeat Chuck and bring back the rest of the world. They both get a moment to say an emotional goodbye to Jack and to each other. The two get a massive hunter’s funeral where all the past hunters come to mourn them and talk about their impact. Jody’s speech probably makes us cry. They get to Heaven at the same time, where they are greeted by all their past friends and family at the Roadhouse. On Earth, they live on forever as urban legends and heroes.

SAM & ROWENA ENDING: Sam says #FuckHeaven and spends his afterlife in hell as the consort to Queen Rowena, drinking margaritas all day, living his best life and stopping any demon uprisings in their tracks. Anytime they give him a hard time, he reminds them that he was Azazel’s boyking and they’re just Random Demon #489. What are THEY doing with their life.

SAM & EILEEN ENDING #1 - MARRIED HUNTER LIFE EDITION: Sam and Dean both survive and continue to hunt / live together, except now Eileen and Castiel are around and live in the bunker with them too after Cas was saved in [insert Empty rescue scenario of your choice.] Sam has some deja vu to the vision he had of all four of them living together in 15x09. He realizes that this is actually real and not a vision; that they are actually together, at peace and beat Chuck. The episode ends with them going to have the movie night that they never got to have in the vision. As Eileen takes his hand to go to the movie room, you see two engagement rings on their hands. Sam realizes that his journey may have started with losing Jessica but he found love again, and that while once upon a time all he and Eileen wanted was revenge, they’ve finally both found peace.

SAFE HOUSE ENDING: Sam starts a trauma center/safe house situation for hunters and ex-monsters to recover and heal, dedicating his life to proving that no one is beyond saving and everyone can redeem themselves and defy fate like he had. Mia Vallens, the shapeshifting grief counselor, is on payroll.

SAM IS THE AUTHOR NOW ENDING: Sam narrates the finale the same way Chuck did for the original series finale "Swan Song", further proving that they are now in control in their story. We get Sam's POV as he tells us what happened to all the other hunters and side characters, as well as him and his brother, with flashbacks from all fifteen seasons and young Sam & Dean growing up together. The episode ends with the reveal that Sam actually finishing the journal entries for the Winchester family's edition of the Men of Letters Bestiary, putting the finishing touches on some monster entries and his own personal anecodotes. He treats the Bestiary like a journal, in a callback to After-School Special where Sam almost became a writer and wrote about his and his family's hunting stories.

BABY JACK ENDING: Sam raises Baby!Jack after he is de-aged and “falls” to Earth in the same fashion the angel Anna once did. Baby!Jack wears overalls that don’t say his name in giant letters because Sam is a good parent who would never do that to his child. The two have a happy life as an adopted father/son duo who defied everything Lucifer and Heaven wanted them to be.

SAM & EILEEN ENDING #2 - EUROTRIP EDITION: Sam going on a year-long vacation around the world now that he has a cool Irish girlfriend who is not afraid of planes, leading to a fun exploration of the supernatural in foreign countries. Who is Dean.

DOG SHELTER OWNER: Sam owns a dog shelter and gets to walk at least ten dogs a day. Jack helps out and Miracle is the HBIC. Life is good.

CHUCK WINS ENDING: Sam lives and Dean dies, Sam throws a funeral for him that no one attends but him and a dog, and moves to the suburbs to live a generic white picket fence life with an unidentifiable wife. As a montage of Sam’s life plays, the camera pans away what looks like a computer and Chuck’s old office. A string of quotes can be heard in the background (“we’re just hamsters running around in a cage” “what would you rather have: peace or freedom?” “I can do anything...I’m a writer” “We will never give you the ending that you want / We’ll see”). The final shot is Jack, dressed in Chuck’s clothes and glasses and using his mannerisms, typing away at a typewriter. He writes “The End” but punctuates it with a question mark instead of a period. His computer screen and our TV screen both go black.

[lady-griffin]

Technically Trigon (and by extension Raven) is not a demon because he is from a hell like dimension but not hell. He's a poser.

Sorry, I disagree with that, and for me, that seems like such a pointless technically :)

But like you said, DC has pointed out Trigon is not from “The Hell” and technically isn’t a demon.

However, at the exact same time, he’s still largely considered to be a demon by DC.

Which makes sense, seeing as he’s an immortal malevolent entity that has all the bells and whistles of a demon (+ more) and lives in a dimension, that for all intents and purposes is hell or a hell-dimension.

It just seems very silly to me, to say Trigon’s technically not demon.

-

I think Hell (demons) should go beyond Lucifer or I guess really, human/earth religion in the DC world. I mean, why the hell not? (ha!)

What is hell? What is a demon?

Does hell and demons only exist in relation to more western-centric religious ideas? What about other religions, on earth and otherwise?

What about all the other planets in the universe? Other dimensions?

Are demons only applicable to humans and earth?

Do other planets/dimensions have afterlives specific to their religions? Hells or heavens, or something else altogether? What about their Gods or God?

Or is that all false and there is only one “God?” The Judeo-Christian-Islamic god?

For me, that limits so many possibilities. Especially considering how wide and complicated the DC universe actually is.

Furthermore, what’s the difference between a hell-like dimension, a hell dimension or simply hell?

While I don’t see Trigon or Raven being related to Lucifer, “God,” or Hell (specifically the Hell we see other DC heroes deal with), the two 100% count as demons.

Especially, since I think that complicates the idea of what demons are and makes demons go beyond Earth and more specifically, Christianity.

Slightly related (not really), I was never fan of how in BTVS and Angel, only crosses worked against vampires and no other symbols of religion. Why was Christianity the only religion that could hurt vampires?

-

Personally, I just like the idea of Raven being a full-on demon (or part-demon).

Again, her classifying as one, just expands the idea of what demons are and makes things like religion, far more confusing in the DC world (like our own).

I mean, if you know there are angels and demons, and that holy water and crosses absolutely work on demons, doesn’t that just make Christianity an objective reality?

Isn’t it more interesting, if yes that stuff can work on some demons, but not for others? That you get the very frustrating answer, of - “it depends on what kind of demon.”

I think so.

I like the idea of someone who thinks they have a solid idea of what demons are and what works on them, have all that put into question once Raven comes into the picture. Because some of those things do apply to her, but others simply don’t.

Throwing holy water on Raven will only get you one very annoyed and wet demoness. But blast some holy magic at her and you might get a different story.

-

This might just be me.

But I think saying Raven isn’t a demon, creatures that are objectively evil in DC canon, kind of takes away from the fact that Raven is this kind and caring individual, who is ultimately good.

Because, if she isn’t a demon (or a "true demon" as we think of them), then her being good isn’t necessarily this revolutionary idea.

It can still be one, for sure.

But it seems like someone can easily explain Raven being good, by simply saying - children aren’t their parents. Just because Trigon is evil, doesn’t mean Raven is.

Raven being born a good person (or neutral) who has this darker side that can take over her is all well and good (I’m certainly not complaining).

But that isn’t nearly as interesting to me as the concept of Raven, because she is part-demon, was born this malevolent entity, and aside from sheer power/being Trigon’s portal, is technically no different than any other demon.

And yet, she literally rewrote her very nature, by choosing to be good. She consistently chose the harder path for herself, literally defying the universe, and made the moral waters of good and evil, all the murkier.

And maybe it wasn’t just hard-work.

Maybe Raven got lucky because she was raised on Azarath or because of all her power / soul-self (or whatever); maybe she simply had an advantage over other demons, because she had so many more opportunities to learn how to be good.

I don’t know, I just love the idea that Raven was born half-demon (full on objectively evil demon) and was fated to destroy everything – either by freeing Trigon or by destroying everything herself.

And that’s it. No surprise twist or anything, no secret fate where she was also supposed to defeat Trigon.

No. Raven (and Trigon) were supposed to be how everything ended, no ifs, ands, or buts.

Except, that didn’t happen. This young woman fought tooth and nail to be someone else, to be someone who is good and kind.

And she succeeded.

The forces of the universe, that everything else has to bend to, were challenged by this small, stubborn woman; and one of them broke, and that one wasn’t Raven.

There’s also the added beauty of free-will.

DC's Main Villain Darkseid, main thing is to completely enslave the universe and destroy free-will with the anti-life equation. And while Raven has nothing to do with Darkseid, free-will being a factor in other DC stories, puts a smile on my face.

-

Sorry, anon. You didn't ask for any of this.

You sent a message sort of at the wrong time (or right time, depending on how think about it), as I was writing down my ideas/headcanons of what demons and hell are in DC, or at least how I think of them.

And while you didn’t bring up religion and earth, I was already thinking about this stuff, so that’s on me.

I just like the idea of magic and demons/angels going beyond Earth and humanity, because usually in DC, that stuff seems to stay with Earth.

You are right though.

While DC does classify Trigon as Demon, they do seem to specify (or fans in charge of the wiki specify) that since he’s not from The “Hell,” he’s simply more akin to an entity that can be called a demon, rather than an actual one

But I find that to be boring, and again, a very silly and pointless technicality.

I would personally rather DC be like - Hell, Demons, and all of that nonsense are far more complicated than what we humans or mortals can possibly understand.

In my view,

Demons are the only creatures that can not only come from hell, but can also survive and thrive there as well.

Hell is a singular dimension that is made up of billions of different hell dimensions that simultaneously overlap and never interact with one another. Some of these hells are afterlife-dimensions that are the final destination for certain mortal souls, and others go beyond such simple ideas.

Making Trigon and Raven, 100% all demon. Or, I guess in Raven's case, 50% all demon.

[thebakingqueen5]

KW 2021: The Sea & The Sky

Day 7 for Kataang Week 2021 hosted by @kataang-week with the prompt The Sea & The Sky!

Don't mind me crying in the corner that Kataang Week is basically over, but anyways I'm super proud of this last oneshot and hope you all enjoy it!

Links: AO3 | FF.net

Summary: Another year, another, another week of prompts celebrating our favorite couple. Kataang Week 2021 Day 7: The Sea & The Sky. Katara was the sea, Aang was the sky, destined to meet at the horizon where they were bound together for all eternity.

Word Count: 1.7K (barely)

The sea and sky, two entities as old as time itself. In some ways, as contrasting as the night and day, and in others, perfect reflections of one another.

The sea has always been below the sky, left to gaze upon the brilliance of the celestial bodies embedded in it for all eternity and reflecting the light of the bright stars beyond.

The sky has always been above the sea, forever peering down into its depths for the miracles and mysteries hidden beneath, and guiding its steady waves as they crash upon the shores of the Earth.

The sea is the reason the azure sky is adorned with feathery white wisps floating high above the ground, and the sky, in turn, fills the oceans and floods the rivers with the very liquid that makes survival possible.

The sea fosters life beneath its steady, undulating surface. It holds flora and fauna of all shapes, colors, and sizes, and it was a point of fascination for the sky. The sky, in all its glory, could not sustain anything for long. Even the birds that rode over its swift breezes had to eventually land somewhere below. And yet, the sky was free, a vast expanse of space that extended beyond what the sea could ever imagine to be possible. It wasn’t shackled by the chains of the planet, and the sea almost envied it.

In the days of old, when sailors ruled the seas, the ocean and her gentle waves would push them across great stretches of nothingness, while the sky and his stars would aid in guiding them on their journeys. Without the sky, those explorers would be lost at sea, and without the sea, their ambitions would remain sky-high with their dreams of traveling the world doomed to remain just that- dreams.

The sea and the sky have always been connected. Together, they make a thriving world possible. And so it follows that those so closely bonded to their elements, Aang and Katara, would be similarly linked by the fabric of space and time.

Though he was the Avatar, Aang’s native element was that of air. He preferred to soar on his glider high above the clouds, and gravity was a laughable concept to him. True to his airbending disposition, Aang’s natural inclinations were to evade conflict and obstacles in order to move forward, like a leaf on the wind.

Katara was born in the Southern Water Tribe, surrounded by ice, glaciers, and the frigid seas of the South Pole. She wielded the element of water, adapting and accepting things as they came since water was the element of change. She would experience swells of emotion similar to the waves, but she always came down into a steady balance, an ebb and flow just like tides.

Aang and Katara were not each other’s antithesis, far from it actually, but rather each other’s complements. Had they been such stark opposites, their relationship would’ve been much more turbulent, having the highest of highs but also the lowest of lows. They needed not a sharp contrast but rather a soft blend to allow them to communicate with and learn from one another. It was this that allowed them to work so well.

When Katara was firm and unyielding like a tsunami approaching the shore, Aang accepted her stance and often strengthened it. Consequently, if the airbender was flighty and indecisive, Katara would be there to ground him and guide him to something he felt confident in.

Katara was Aang’s earthly tether. When his head drifted up into the clouds, she pulled him back to the real world and allowed him to guide the four nations into an era of peace and prosperity. On the other hand, Aang showed Katara true freedom and what being unrestrained felt like. He brought her up with him on his glider and taught her to defy nature’s laws, to not be afraid to take exhilarating risks, and to keep her ambitions sky-high.

Their worlds collided like the brilliance of colors created as the sun set over the horizon, gradually leaving the realm of the sky and sinking into the sea. Some of their traits reflected each other like the sun’s rays on the sparkling surface of the water, and the others melded together well to make the glorious gradient that streaked the sky as night fell. Together, Aang and Katara created a rich harmony filled with overtones that mirrored the depth of their connection.

When they first met, that instant link, the bond that tied them together, was remarkably evident to all those around them. It was absolutely undeniable.

Though Sokka had mostly been joking when he had called Aang Katara’s boyfriend, there were still some astute observations lying under his exaggerated comment. Sokka knew his sister. She didn’t take to people too well, he had noticed over the years. Katara was protective, almost overly so, of the people she loved, and it was hard for her to let people in.

And yet here was Aang, a boy whom she had quite literally taken into her open arms without so much as a blink of hesitation, a boy whom she was ready to leave her tribe, everything and everyone she had ever known, and travel across the world for. It seemed so out of character. Katara didn’t usually make sense to her brother, but this was something different, something special.

Even Gran Gran had taken notice of the unique energy between them. “Aang is the Avatar,” she had told the Water Tribe siblings. “He is the world's only chance. You both found him for a reason. Now your destinies are intertwined with his,” and she was right.

That day, Aang and Katara had forged a connection that wouldn’t, that couldn’t, ever be severed. Breaking him out of the iceberg had been the catalyst for the rest of their lives together. Their adventures following only served to deepen and strengthen that link, allowing them to fall wholly and completely for one another and experience a love they didn’t know was possible.

Visiting Aunt Wu was the first time Katara had really stopped to consider how far their bond went and the strength of her feelings for Aang. She knew they had something unique, something exceptional, but she hadn’t ever thought it could run that deep. “The man you’re going to marry… I can see that he is a very powerful bender.” It made sense, didn’t it? The boy who had changed her life for the better would grow to be the man that she would spend the rest of her life with.

Their kiss in the Cave of the Lovers only further cemented the idea in her head, and a part of her began to believe that their meeting was fate, just like the tale of Oma and Shu. Aang, while still reeling from embarrassment at some of his words (“I’m saying I’d rather kiss you than die, that’s a compliment!”), also began to have similar thoughts, thinking that maybe they too had parallels to the starcrossed lovers and that the love that they shared would one day too be immortalized in legend.

The battle in the catacombs underneath Ba Sing Se seemed like an all too abrupt end to their story. It simply didn’t feel real. How could their link just have been cut off like that? No, Katara wasn’t ready to accept it. She couldn’t accept it. It went against the laws of the universe, it wasn’t possible.

She was going to do whatever it took to keep him there with her, and she did. She brought Aang back from the spirit world through the purest of love, light, and determination, and she made it her duty to never let such a thing happen again.

It was what allowed them to fulfill their roles as the Avatar and his waterbending master at Sozin’s Comet and have their kiss afterward, the early buddings of a relationship that would last a lifetime. Years later, they would go on to pronounce that love to all their friends and family, but, for now, they were more than just their fates.

Just as Aang was able to manipulate water along with his primary element of air, the heavens held clouds in its vast expanse of sky, connecting it to the sea. The sea sent water up in the form of vapor to create those fluffy masses above, and the sky releases the water that the clouds hold in torrents of rain back down to the ground, tying the two together in an endless cycle.

Similarly, waterbending was one of the many things that bound Aang and Katara. It was the reason they had met, the reason Katara was able to break Aang out of that iceberg, and it was the reason they embarked on their epic journey to the North Pole- to learn from the masters and even become ones themselves.

Waterbending linked them as sifu and pupil, strengthening their bond. Without waterbending, Aang may have never realized that fateful day of her adjusting his form of the effect she had on him, the full intensity of the pull, the attraction she held in his eyes.

Waterbending had made Katara especially attuned to the rhythm of the waves rising and falling, and it didn’t long for her to notice how her and Aang’s dynamic reflected it, ebbing and flowing in a delicate yet harmonious balance.

Their meeting had been fate, an event necessary for the survival of the world itself, but that did not define them. With each other, they were not their destinies. They were not the Avatar and his waterbending master, nor were they the beacon of hope for the future of the Air Nation.

No, they were Aang and Katara, two people who had defied all odds, overcome all obstacles, and quite literally gone to the Spirit World and back all in the name of love.  They were not the heroes who had saved the world, but soulmates, fated just as the sky and the sea were to meet at their own horizon. They were two people irreversibly linked to each other then, now, and till the end of time itself.

[inthiswhisper]

parallels between dean/cas + andrea/benny...

the andrea / benny storyline came out of nowhere for me, but i enjoyed every second because it was beautiful and it paralleled cas and dean’s relationship. also, bless ben edlund.

after reuniting and on the way to benny’s old vampire nest, benny began to tell dean about his nest father, the vampire who turned him—

benny: your maker, he means everything to you. you start believing he’s god. our father kept the family together, but kept us apart from the rest of the world. 

—which, of course, reminded me of dean’s relationship with j-hn. though they’ve dwindled, there have been a number of j-hn and god parallels. dean worshipped him even though j-hn kept dean and (somewhat) sam from functioning properly in the real word. dean inevitably always did what was best for his family because of this, like benny—

benny: i always did what was best for the nest… ‘til i met her. andrea kormos. beautiful. i mean, words don’t even cut it, you know? i should have called her boat’s destination into my crew, but instead i joined her on it. my life changed when she entered it, dean. everything i had been or done up to that point just… seemed to vanish into what we had become together. we found it, man. [but] one night, the old man — he was just there. that night i understood what a crime it was to him, me leaving him.

—whose nest depended on luring in boats to feed on the passengers, but benny chose not only to save her, but to run away with her to lousiana. it was during this piece of dialogue that i realized benny doesn’t just parallel dean — he parallels cas. his father is actually god and cas always did what was best for heaven. god kept the angels on the outskirts of earth, never to interfere with humanity, but cas essentially abandoned his garrison to follow dean, who parallels andrea. the still beautiful still dean winchester human who changed everything.

so, like benny, cas did the opposite of what he was programmed to do. he fell “in every way imaginable” because of dean. yes, dean’s life changed upon castiel’s entry, but i’d argue cas endured greater change. everything he knew vanished. he remained loyal to dean since, the only exception being his betrayal, but he regretted that choice every step of the way because of how it affected dean.

and then there was this exchange between andrea and benny—

benny: all this is because of me. i’m sorry.

andrea: no, it’s not your fault. you never hid anything from me, benny. i chose you.

benny: why’d you stay with them — with him?

andrea: you remember what it’s like at first. everything resets. life is blood, that’s all. and whoever gives it to you—

benny: i know. it’s complicated. every damn thing is complicated.

andrea: it doesn’t have to be. benny, i can’t kill him. none of us can. but you — you came back from the grave. you’re proof that he’s not all-powerful. that he’s not god.

—which a large part of is still benny as cas and andrea as dean, but the two are so similar that the lines blur. again, though cas betrayed him, dean — like andrea — is quick to forgive and choose cas. cas only did what he did because of his default setting as an angel. everything resets and heaven — his “nest” — is prioritized. andrea’s last line is where cas and dean are similar. they both came back from the dead. they’re both proof god isn’t all-powerful. cas especially is proof of the free will god tries so hard to rid them of. cas to dean, like benny to andrea, is his hope to get out of destiny’s hold.

which brings me to benny and his “god”—

benny: why didn’t you let her die? she meant nothing to you.

vamp: but she meant everything to you. if that’s all i could salvage from my wayward son — the woman he defied his maker for — i wanted someone to remember you by.

—and how dean is castiel’s weakness, but he’s also the man castiel defied his own maker for despite how hard heaven tried to stop him. castiel was lost the moment he laid a hand on dean the way benny was lost the moment he laid eyes on andrea.

then, benny explains to dean why he cares for people despite being a vampire—

benny: i started seeing something in humanity, okay? something that shouldn’t be taken.

—implying that andrea’s humanity sparked his own care for it. he cared about people because of her. andrea gave benny a reason to see value in human life rather than view it as disposable or unfortunate casualties in battle.

and, judging by this exchange with his “god”—

vamp: i’ve been here so, so long, benny. seen all the outcomes, all the patterns, a trillion times. it all means so little. this universe is a pyramid of despair — nothing else. i am evil. i’ve had that much. you never had that, did you? everything had to be thought about. considered.

benny: you know what socrates said about a life unconsidered.

socrates said that a life unconsidered is not worth living. a life lived without forethought or principle is a life vulnerable to chance — so dependent on the choices of others that it is of little real value to the person living it. a life well lived is one which is chosen and directed by the one who lives it.

vamp: yes, but what we have in us? that’s not life. that’s what you still don’t get. that’s why it’s always been so hard for you. this is my story, you gnat. it ends the way i choose. not you.

—andrea also inspired benny to forge his own path. to defy god and to resist his nature. to go against destiny. the vampire’s last comments apply to dean’s own struggle with straying, but also castiel’s. his default settings made it hard for him, like when he became god in 7x01–

cas: i thought the answer was free will. i understand now you need a firm hand. you need a father. i am your father now.

—and believed free will perhaps wasn’t the right choice, feeling remorse for attempting it. but, before that, even fate said cas threw away the script. it wasn’t god’s story anymore, he was making it up as he went. cas struggled to cope with his choices and free will afterwards, but he eventually made up with dean and was willing to follow his lead towards freedom again.

this is where the dean / cas and andrea / benny parallels begin to falter—

benny: what i loved, it ain’t here anymore. it was snuffed out long ago by monsters like me.

—because andrea’s humanity motivated benny, but she no longer had it and wanted benny to continue the life he ran from. however, unlike andrea, dean is still human. he still wants the freedom he encouraged cas to choose. they’re also not picking between two ways of life — hunting vs apple pie, the nest vs louisana. they’re choosing each other regardless of where they end up, essentially forging their own path. benny won’t follow andrea because she’s chosen a life built for her, but cas will always follow dean because he knows dean will always choose the life he wants for himself. if not, cas will at least try to guide him back to that path.

so, after benny and andrea realize they can’t be together, she tries to kill him, but dean saves him just in time by killing her first. when the scene ends, benny brings up this question—

benny: why’d you [resurrect me], dean? you could have drained my soul and no one would have been the wiser.

—to which dean doesn’t respond. instead, we get a flashback to this moment—

—when cas is in danger and dean can’t get to him, so benny jumps in to save him. obviously, this moment implies that dean resurrected benny because benny saved cas, meaning cas’s life is as valuable to dean as his own. maybe even more so. however, what’s even more striking is that, though they’re not considered to be romantic, dean and cas’s bond paralleled a romantic couple’s and then outlived theirs, implying dean and cas’s bond is stronger.

just as benny, without a flinch, watched dean kill andrea in front of his eyes—

—benny saved castiel in front of dean’s. benny watched the love of his life turn on him and then get killed by dean, whereas dean found out the supposedly not love of his life spent a year protecting him and got saved by benny.

let’s take a second to let that settle in — they paralleled a “platonic” couple with a romantic one, then indicated that the “platonic” bond was stronger and more capable of overcoming adversity. you can’t make this stuff up, folks.

but it brings me to my final point — that andrea and benny are also another example of a human and an immortal being falling in love. they wanted to run off together, but it ended in tragedy, just like it did for the mortal woman and the immortal man. neither found happiness because of outside factors, so the immortal being was always making the sacrifice — the immortal man taking his life and benny letting andrea die when she turned. yet another parallel between them and dean / castiel. the difference being others lost each other through grief while cas, in his last moments, felt happiness.

[foxthefanboi]

Thoughts on the Finale

So on the off-chance that my followers care about what I thought of the finale, I wrote a 1,700-word meta. I know, probably overkill, but here it is. In summary: I know the finale was really unpopular with many people. Dean dying early, not addressing Cas’s confession, no reunion with their found family, etc. But I loved it. I was happy and satisfied with the ending. It’s not easy wrapping up a show like this, but it’s just what I needed. Here’s my thoughts on the finale and a defense of some of the things people were upset about: 

The Timing of Dean’s Death

Okay, so I know a lot of people are upset about Dean’s death, that he didn’t get to live a full life like Sam did. It is pretty upsetting. (Mainly, I really wish he’d gotten a chance to be a dad.) And I see how it conflicts with the theme of the season, which is free will and defying the fate of dying a violent death while hunting that they expected.

On the other hand, I think Dean was satisfied with his life when he died. It was the death he was always expecting and had accepted. He did a lot of good in his life and really he just wanted peace at that point, you know? Sure, he could’ve lived a longer life but I don’t think he felt like he was missing out when he died. Personally, I doubt he would’ve given up hunting, so his life would’ve been more of the same until he died, still probably from hunting. A full life would’ve been great, but Heaven was great for him too.

[Edit: Just read a post where they mentioned Dean was tired which was a point that was made again and again in the show and I think that’s part of why how he went out is okay! He loved hunting, he loved hunting with his brother, but it’s not sustainable and it wore him out and his peace is Heaven rather than an apple pie life, and that’s okay.]

The Manner of Dean’s Death

I sort of wish Dean’s death had been a little more dramatic. I mean, he did just defeat God and everything. And then he gets taken out by a spike in the wall? But I was okay with the hunt-gone-wrong thing. It seemed like sort of a lame death, but remember Asa Fox, the other legendary hunter? He died from tripping and hitting his head on a rock after his friend pushed him, so. It’s not unheard of, even for great hunters. And Dean would’ve died after being electrocuted in a pool of water in season 1 if a reaper hadn’t saved him. Unlucky deaths… Yeah, they happen.

But I do think it would’ve been good to have a more death-y death because Dean standing against a post didn’t give the immediacy of dying that some of the other deaths. He did have a couple of pained gasps and all that, but there wasn’t really blood showing or the obviousness of being so close to death, not the way that his Metatron death scene gave, for example.

Still though, I really did love the death scene. Like, I hated it, because it was heartbreaking and it made me cry, but it was just really emotional in the best way. Everything Dean said to Sam about looking up to him, and how he felt when he went to see Sam at Stanford, and then “I love you so much. My baby brother.” And then the forehead touch.

Honestly I sort of get the feeling they killed Dean off early just so that they could give us one last, weighty goodbye scene to be emotional about. Remember how much it hurt when Dean said goodbye before going to hell in season three? Or when Sam said goodbye in season 5 before saying yes to Lucifer? Or in season 11 when Dean went to stop Amara? That was all really good stuff. This was one last sendoff they couldn’t have given us if Dean had just lived his normal life.

Sam’s Life

I’m at least glad Sam got to live his life. That’s been his dream over and over since when he was a kid, when he went to college, when he took a year off with Amelia… And he finally got to have it. I’m not set on this opinion but, because of their codependency, I don’t think either Dean or Sam could’ve had something like that with each other in their lives, so Dean’s death ultimately sort of allowed Sam to live. If that makes sense.

What hurt me the most about this whole episode is that Sam had to live decades without his brother. They had thirty-seven years together (give or take a few missing years in the middle), which is a long time, but since Sam died of old age, that’s like half his lifetime without his brother! Decades!!!! I really wonder how Sam’s memory of Dean changed over that time, as he became a more and more distant memory…

zmediaoutlet had a cute post-episode Heaven fic where Dean and Sam are reunited and Sam has all the time he needs to tell Dean about every single part of his life. Even though Dean wasn’t there for it, he could get caught up in Heaven, which was… Just a nice thought. In my opinion.

We needed some closure on Eileen :(

Okay, so I was happy with how the show did Dean and Sam’s deaths. But they did leave us hanging on some pretty important things. Like, where the fuck was Eileen? Last we heard about her, Sam was crying about losing her after she got Thanos-snapped by Chuck. Presumably she came back, but even though she and Sam had been dating, he never checked in on her. And then Sam had a faceless wife. Couldn’t they have given us something more? John Winchester has shown up in flashbacks without being played by JDM or shown clearly and it’s obvious it’s him. They couldn’t have done something similar for Eileen? Like, Sam signing something to her as she watches him play catch in the backyard with Dean Jr.? I’m just gonna assume the faceless wife was Eileen, but some official endorsement would’ve been nice.

We really needed some closure on Cas :(((

Cas confessed his love to Dean in 15x18! Romantic love, according to the writers and actors!! This is a really big deal!!! But we never got to hear Dean’s thoughts. He never talked about it. The crying in the bunker after losing Cas, that really showed his grief, I thought. But we never actually got to see him react beyond that.

I read that, based on Becky’s Funko Pop set-ups, there was foreshadowing that Cas and Dean would at some point be outside the Harvelles’ Roadhouse together, and that this should’ve happened in the finale and probably would’ve if it hadn’t been for casting restrictions due to COVID. So. I’m just gonna go with saying that happened off-camera, and that Dean and Cas were reunited in Heaven. And that’s what fics are for! Maybe Dean’s straight and/or maybe he didn’t reciprocate. But maybe he did and he and Cas are in love and living(?) happily in Heaven together. The show never told us, which is kind of sad, because that would’ve been a nice, official ending. But it’s nice to have it open, too.

Is Heaven as an ending sort of a copout?

I read a post that said that Heaven as an ending is a copout because why even bother living if you’re going to eternal happiness in the end? Which is, you know, a pretty good point. I’ve said before that the Winchesters fight way too hard to bring people back when those people are happy in heaven. Like, remember when they were heartbroken over Rowena’s death? And then it turned out she was “living” her best life as the Queen of Hell and wondering why she’d been so worried about dying in the first place.

Anyway, some type of eternal afterlife has been inevitable since the very beginning of the show, so this has always been a point. It’s not just a finale thing used as a convenient way to wrap it up with a happy ending. It is a logical happy ending. Seriously.

I think there’s a couple things that kept the boys going. One, they had to keep living so they could effectively fight forces not only of Earth, but of Heaven, Hell, etc. as well. They were making the world a better place not just for the people who were living in it, but for the people who had passed and were in Heaven as well. Also they got a lot of closure they couldn’t have gotten if they were dead, e.g. against Azazel, etc. I feel like not getting that would’ve haunted them, even if they were in Heaven.

Second, you can’t really have new experiences in Heaven. Based on what Bobby said about time passing differently, you just sort of hang out in a blissed out state with your loved ones. Presumably there can be changes in relationships, but no one in Heaven is gonna work on a career, or have kids, stuff like that. Sam got that when he lived his life, and I think he needed to have that in a way that Dean didn’t.

The Winchesters changed heaven!

Also, it’s important to note that sure, if Sam and Dean had just decided Heaven was way more worth it than Earth, and they hadn’t brought each other back again and again, they would’ve saved themselves a lot of suffering. But then Heaven would be way different than how it ended. No more corrupt angels running things, no more threat of evil archangels, no more God interested in a story more than the well-being of the souls in his universe. Jack was good because of their efforts, and he’s just the God the universe needed. (And also Heaven was pretty close to shutting down from a lack of angels to power it so that would’ve sucked.) Basically, in summary, their lives and what they did with them is specifically what allowed them to have eternal peace and happiness. So they had good, meaningful lives. They changed things for everyone, everywhere, and now they deserve Heaven.

In summary

They carried on, and there was peace when they were done. What more can we ask for from a finale?

[sir-huffman]

Volume 03: the Founders of Delphi

TL;DR: In the end, it is up to you to decide what is true or not. And if you really don’t want to believe the God of Truth and Prophecy with all his power and knowledge beyond this world is nothing more than an unimportant lowly knight, then who is he to judge? That is not his place, he is just another god in many places representing the truth and foretelling the future for those who wish to hear it.

NOTE: A self indulgent messy headcanon that started because Huffman’s name appears in Vera’s Melancholy.

Volume 01: Vera’s Melancholy - a unanswered love letter

Volume 02: Delphi - the ancient capitol of Khanrie’ah

Volume 03: the Founders of Delphi - Huffman and the Witch of the East

Volume 04: Author’s Notes

the Founders of Delphi

"...Afterward, the great king's first messenger, the brave knight HUFFMAN strode west across two continents, crossing great oceans and rivers. As for the IMPERIAL SAGE, the witch from the east, she passed by her hometown on her road eastward, and then came by the land of the Nether. Thus, they finally met here." - Vera from Vera’s Melancholy, Volume VI

Long ago in ancient times, when humanity was but benighted creatures that roamed the land, the envoys of the gods walked along side them. The heavens would watch from above, sending their messengers one by one to answer the questions of the people. But as time and time went on, humanity found out the answers of the truth of the world.

The first chief priest was but a knight who donned a crown of Irminsul branches looked for the land where they could seek the truth. The imperial sage headed east and they finally crossed paths near the land of the Nether. Together, they built a small village, comprised of just themselves before it grew and fell into antediluvian ruins and long-buried altars of sacrifice upon learning such truths.

They praised the god of truth and prophecy, granting them knowledge the heavens forbade.

the Brave Knight | Huffman (the God of Truth and Prophecy)

“They say that, the line of chief priests have always seen this same sight as their days draw to an end: A mountain of crowns in a secret place, beneath a withered tree - each one hiding a lifetime of secrets kept. Each retiring chief priest offers up their crown of flawless white branches to this world. Every mighty and ancient city, and every austere place of sacrifice must one day return to profundity in the earth.” - Prayers of Springtime

From an ancient kingdom, Huffman was a lowly shepherd before he became a valued knight. As time passed and humanity was beginning to question Celestia, he was given the honor of becoming the first chief priest in search for answers.

Huffman made his way into the deepest places of the world. He fought many monsters, slayed many creatures in order to search for the truth. And eventually, when he reached the center and saw the bough of the white tree...he built the city of Delphi.

He built the sacrificial alters and dedicated himself to the god of prophecy, the one who had graced them with the knowledge and truth of this world. With this knowledge, he decided that such secrets must not make its way to humanity. And as such, upon his death he gave back his laurel of Irminsul and his spirit became one with the god of truth and prophecy.

For he was the first worship him in this world, the God of Truth and Prophecy took his likeness. Not that he mattered as the god resided deep in the depths of the earth. But as he loved his people, he loved the brave knight’s more. He spends his time across the universe, across the planes of space and time, as nothing but a lowly human. A mere mortal who is not important in the world. Pretending that he was a brave knight so that he may show his friend the joys of a better future and maybe...one day...it’ll get brighter.

"I am but an echo of time," Ike said as he began his preparations. "As I've said, the past cannot change the future, for the predetermined rules of equilibrium are slightly more powerful than me. But the future, with its infinite possibilities, could save the world." - Ike from Vera’s Melancholy, Volume X

the Imperial Sage | the Witch of the East (the Oracle of Delphi)

“The confluence between the past and future. The original calamity had been overturned, yet the island in the sky set the earth to burn. Chalk pursues gold, in this time inopportune, the eclipse is swallowed by the crimson moon. The future must atone for bygone mistakes, as the bond familiar falters and breaks— of the same blood, elders and the youth... Such is the cycle of the world, in truth. Dain, what is that strand of blonde hair to you? Someone you must kill? Or the object of your penitence?” - the Self-Proclaimed Prophet to Dainsleif

She was known as the witch of the east, the imperial sage in the ancient kingdom. As the co-founder and mother of the city of Delphi, she became the speaker of the truth. The oracle who spoke the words of the God of Truth and Prophecy to the children and people of their village. And over time, only her spirit will remain, taking the form of a young maiden or an old woman. She is timeless, the oracle who spoke of what was to come.

And now, the Oracle of Delphi looks at the stars and celestial bodies, knowing that they have already crumbled away just as they have done in the past. The eclipse had been swallowed, shaking the roots that held up the roofs of what is now known as Khaenri’ah and the branches that pray to the skies of Celestia. It was be the beginning of the end, Ragnarök, once again. And she will watch as humanity struggles to save itself once again - trying to save it from the fate of the gods.

But humanity was already far too late...the long icy winter had already thawed. And the raging war of the axe, the sword, the wind, and the wolf age have already passed. The sun, moon, and stars have been devoured. And the heavens has once again begun to crumble.

So, humanity, will you defy the gods once again and try to overthrow their rule? Or will you perish once more and have the cycle of rebirth continue again...and again...and again?

All prosperity must someday end. But this does not mean that nothing is eternal.

At the end of a cycle, the earth shall be renewed. Thus eternity is cyclical. The search for truth is a product of prosperity, and not the seed that plants it.

They say that, once upon a time, the people of the land could hear revelations from Celestia directly. The envoys of the gods walked among benighted humanity then. In those days, life was weak, and the earth was blanketed in unending ice. - Prayers of Springtime

[mrsunderhill678]

Ya girl’s writttttinnnnn’

“My name is written in storm clouds and rainy days, I am the lightning licking the waves and the storm pursuin' the fucking sailor.” - Zafavri Holts

“Look at the truth, how it molds and twists, in this long life I've lived I've learned truth kills the kindest 'a men. You thought lies were damning? Just wait until you see the truth that slinks in the damn shadows.” - Zafavri Holts

“You've heard of Jack the Ripper, Ted Bundy and the Axeman of New Orleans, and you'd think the scariest thing about em would be their killer deeds. But the most horrifyin' thing about the darkest 'a men is, they were once normal, men. They was kids, playin' in the grass, fools runnin' after girls in the fifth grade, dreamin' of sunny days and sunflowers castin' beautiful shade.” - Zafavri Holts

“Your power is in words and hearts, mine is in blood and howls.” - Zafavri Holts

“I was once, just like you, dreamin' of better days, smilin' as my wife walked through the door, tuckin' my kids inta their beds. But the truth took the good man I was in it's stride, and replaced me with a sinister specter 'a all the killers before me. I am Jack the Ripper and Ted Bundy, the Zodiac Killer and the Axeman of New Orleans, but worst of all, I'm Zafavri fucking Holts.” - Zafavri Holts

“My father once said he's one dead dream away from blasphemy, and with a life of screeching dreams and dying nightmares I must confess, I fear I myself am blasphemy.” - Polaris Cougar

“I lost my mind in the confines of my skull.” - Barlo Brick

“I spin this chamber 'gainst my head and wonder why it ain't gone off. Perhaps fate holds her finger against the hammer, daring me to make a move against her.” - Barlo Brick

“I play games with my life, rolling these dice, playing these shitty cards as if they were a good hand. I'm an addict of fate and destiny, playing moves against her so she'll play fatal moves against me. I tease fate with promises of my doom, praying she'll take a lowlife like me.” - Barlo Brick

“I'm a reflection of my father's sins, drowning myself in the lights of the casino.” - Barlo Brick

“I walk, I talk, I breathe like me, but I ain't me.” - Tommy Graves

“Me father once told me, that if ya've got a board full 'a pawns, and the foe's board is full 'a kings, you play a tricky game of Queen's Gambit.” - Tommy Graves

“I'd say I've made friends with my demons, but they've made friends with me shadows, leavin' me an outcast in my own damn mind.” - Tommy Graves

“I'm startin' ta fear that all my thoughts are all my friends, and I'm me only enemy.” - Tommy Graves

“If my mother could see me now, she'd shake 'er damn 'ead. She'd say, "Tommy, with thoughts like these, you'll end up yer last damn name." - Tommy Graves

“Even when you don't seek it, destiny shall arrive all the same.” - Baron Xaverkit

“Karma rewards those who love with destines of joy and valor. Be more than a resistance against the dark, be a war of light and joy, love and heartful karma. Be the blade that spares the king, be the coin that sets the hangman free, and be the man who when stricken by his enemy, offers the other side of his cheek. You shall know no greater joy, other than loving others as life has loved you.” - Baron Xaverkit

“I am a mere flicker of a wolf, an ember of a beast. I am the cold afterglow of the beasts that made me, and thus, I am nuthin' but cinder and the pale spark, strivin' for the darkness 'a the night sky.” - D’Angello Campbell

“Look at these stars gazin' at me, some will for me ta reach em, others gather their rifles and prepare for war.” - D’Angello Campbell

“As I stare my enemies dead in the eye, and watch their smiles flicker like old film, I realize it is a mirror I stand before. Those are my hands grippin' the porcelain sink, and I wonder where the blood drippin' from the faucet came from.” - D’Angello Campbell

“My son has stared me in the eye and declared me the devil, he looks at me with rage in his eyes, the same betrayal the lord must'a felt as the devil swore ta rise above him.” - D’Angello Campbell

“This flicker of a wolf is slowly learnin' how ta fade.” - D’Angello Campbell

“In the hollow cracks of my smile I have found regret so deeply interwoven with my heart that it flows as blood through my veins.” - Bellamy Cooper

“I lie awake in bed, reaching for memories that are not there. Regina, my love, she tasted like home and everything I'd never had... I saw so much when I looked at her... I saw a sheet of twinkling stars, the sun bringing warmth... But most beautifully, I saw that woman dancing under the light of the moon, as if she was drunk off it's pale glow, enjoying the way the world spun. But I don't dance any more, I don't hold her hand in mine, she does not hold my scars. Fate has torn us from each other, and though every night, we star up at the same moon, I have to wonder, do the stars look at the same people?” - Bellamy Cooper

“The stars may gaze upon me and wonder, oh bastard dove in the pale moon glow, who have you become?” - Bellamy Cooper

“I carry this sin on my shoulders as if it was a part of me, as if it was the flecks of white in my hair and the love that once wept in my smile. But these sins were never apart of me, just things I did.” - Bellamy Cooper

“As my love looks to the moon, and knows it is the same moon I gaze upon, I hope she knows, it does not gaze upon the same man.” - Bellamy Cooper

“All my enemies were first my heroes.” - Paviro Le Rouge

“I could murder a drink for all these sins at my back, they've weaved themselves into the fabric of my coat, and though the devil on my shoulder is nothing more than stitches on my jacket, I listen to the whispers of the damned man upon this sinner's coat.” - Paviro Le Rouge

“All the candles have flickered out, the wind ripped the flame from the candle's wick, leaving nothing but the wax to remember the warmth of the flame.” - Paviro Le Rouge

“I once believed my heart held value, but it is my belief that it's only value is the ending of it's beat.” - Paviro Le Rouge

“Do the gods wish to serve me to fate on a silver platter? Am I a toy to destiny? I am a mortal vessel of higher powers, these whispers in my head tell me, "You will defy destiny, she will crawl at your knees and weep," but what of my, destiny? How can I defy destiny yet follow her road?” - Paviro Le Rouge

“To defy destiny is to succumb to eternity.” - Paviro Le Rouge

“A man once asked me, if I ever thought that I'm not myself, that to die would be to finally be me. And I must confess, if the void were to take me now, I'd find peace in that.” - Howdy Woolen

“Everyone thinks they know me better than I do, but if they spent one day in my mind they'd scream, shout and beg that someone would let them out.” - Howdy Woolen

“My demons share my name and my face, but with those crooked smiles, how could they possibly be me?” - Howdy Woolen

“I look to this ash around me, these scorched dreams and ashen nightmares, and I beg my father to forgive me. But how can he forgive me for killing his own son?” - Howdy Woolen

“Chaos is fair in da fact dat it kills all.” - Aggemuth Williamson

“God knelt ta me level and told me dat all men were created equal, in da fact dat all men die.” - Aggemuth Williamson

“Death cares not for who we are, it don't give a bloody fuck whether you're youn' or old, it'll rip through ya and call ye alive.” - Aggemuth Williamson

“I am a wicked wolf who knows chaos is da forest in which I strive. Dese shadows are death, da light flickerin' from da trees is nuffin' but false salvation, for just above da trees lies a wicked beast. Red rain falls from da forest leaves, remindin' us dat in chaos' forest, we are all nuffin' but blood to be spilled and graves ta be fuckin' dug.” - Aggemuth Williamson

“Eden only 'eld me down, da snake in da garden was me, I was da forbidden fruit, I was Eve and Adam. But most wicked 'a all, I am da heavenly father that placed secrets in paradise, and damned innocent men for the fings I did.” - Aggemuth Williamson

“Blood and death for peace will never be true order. We live a lie, believing hate can drive out hate.” - Shaymelina Demablossom

“I am willing to walk a mile in a bad man's boots if it meant I could see the world through his eyes.” - Shaymelina Demablossom

“ We are not creatures of blood and death, we are butterflies soon to soar, cats playing curiously in the field. We are dogs, chasing the cat because we think it wants to play.” - Shaymelina Demablossom

“Evil comes from brokenness, but so does strength, so why choose cruelty?” - Shaymelina Demablossom

“I am a reflection of my enemies, a sinful projection of my fucking vengeance. As I stand before heaven's gates, all that shall be left are three corpses on the floor and two empty fucking six shooters. After all, an empty chamber and blood pooling beneath my feet is the sinful mark of revenge.” - Jake Warden

“This heart beating in my chest is no symbol of love, tear into my ribs and you'll find the pitch black night sky, for the moon crashed hurtling into the Earth, leaving nothing but vengeful stars, mourning for the home they lost.” - Jake Warden

“My sister told me to rebuild my bridges, but how am I to do that when I leave nothing but fire in my wake? I only seek for those behind me to crumble on the ashen bridge. May they follow my footsteps, only to drown in the roaring river below the bridges I fucking burnt.” - Jake Warden

“Oh Roan fucking Scorpio, you are a beast amongst men, a wicked werewolf, but so am I, so am I. My fur has grown more ragged than yours, my coat more blood-stained than yours, yet still I seek this damning vengeance. You are a wolf of family and love, yet I howl of loss. I could drag you through the dark, and still, you'd fight for something less than yourself.” - Jake Warden

“My hands tremble 'pon a dead man's gun, and as I stare down the barrel 'a this rifle, I fear it's me I'm aimin' at. I see them burnin' wings, I recognize them howls as he falls hellbent through the midnight sky, cuz they came from my own fuckin' throat. But all I do is take aim, breathe in, breathe out, and shoot this fallin' angel from the damn sky.” - Roan Scorpio

“My oldest frien' always did say he was Icarus, I wonder if he found solace as he burned? We were both wolves in the field, strappin' wings to our backs, dreamin' 'a sumthin' greater.” - Roan Scorpio

“I'm a child 'a the streets and a warrior 'a the highways, cuz I stalk these forests, boundin' cross the road in hopes the cars will catch me, sendin' me blood-streaked across the damn grass.” - Roan Scorpio

“It's a big world out there, ya got sinners by the dozen and dwindlin' saints, but I spose I'm somewhere between that spectrum.” - Roan Scorpio

“Vengeance kills most men before they evah gain it.” - Roan Scorpio

“I know what it is to be a sheep, there were once pain in my name and tears in my smile, but as I looked through the eyes of me father, and saw his reflection in me own, I learned always was I a wolf, swindled in a sheep's soft fur.” - Bodean Clemegrine

“All who have been within the scope of my rifle have fell in spurts of crimson salvation.” - Bodean Clemegrine

“In death there is mercy, and in mercy there is death.” - Bodean Clemegrine

“If you've known fear, than you've known me, friend. For I carve myself into your darkest memories, and every thought of me shall be followed with shivers up your spine and cracks in your smile.” - Bodean Clemegrine

“I am the wolf in Shepperd's clothing.” - Bodean Clemegrine

“I've learned that monsters don't hide these days, they've too much courage for our own good.” - Terissa Dyste

“My husband wanted me to waste my hate on him, to rot away every moment of my day with crooked thoughts of his haunted bay.” - Terissa Dyste

“I can see regret in my angel's eyes, death flickers in his smile, and blood hides within the cracks of his heart. But I am here to fill them with love.” - Terissa Dyste

“Salvatore is no bloodthirsty beast, he is no wolf, he's the sheep with a heart too large for a single man to handle. He cares so deeply for others, that he would sacrifice himself to rid them of the pain they've been through. He causes his own pain to save others from it. He is no reflection of those he's killed, for they are bad men, and he is the knight in rusted armor, who has had his metal and valor tested again and again.” - Terissa Dyste

“I love him, despite the pieces of himself he calls ugly, I will twirl them between my fingers and call them lovely.” - Terissa Dyste

“I shall not suffer, I shall grow.” - Terissa Dyste

“You know, my brother once told me, in all his grief, that every time he closes his eyes, he can see the flickering of the fire and the sparks of regret, but I told him, that's just his bridges burning.” - Kindle Xaverthin

“We can't dwell on the past, it's where all our pain comes from, but if we push forward into the unknown, we'll find ourselves in bliss, for if we don't finish the race, how do we ever win? It doesn't matter what place we finish at, just that we do.” - Kindle Xaverthin

“I will follow the road less traveled if that's what it takes, but when needed, I will follow the populated road. I will walk in the crowds and find my purpose in the many.” - Kindle Xaverthin

“I refuse to believe that failure exists. Just temporary defeat. So long as we fight, so long as we strive for something greater, we'll survive. I don't care if your goal is to simply breathe another day or to get out of bed in the morning. That in of itself is strength. Set small goals and conquer them, and as time goes on, you'll realize you scaled Everest inch by inch, without breaking a sweat.” - Kindle Xaverthin

“My grief is a hungry wolf, prowling in my mind, dragging the good memories I had through the dark, ensnaring them in his bloodthirsty maw.” - Markain Hallows

“Turn your heart to the trail behind me, and realize they are lost prayers and dying verses. Behind me is a melody of the damned, and ahead of me is the end of it.” - Markain Hallows

“No wolf dragged me off in it's jaw, no beast took me in it's maw, for it was I who looked in the mirror and reaped all he saw.” - Markain Hallows

“I travel through the night sky like a regretful midnight dove, my feather's have been stained the color the of night I prowl.” - Markain Hallows

“You ever flip a coin and watch in horror as it lands on fate?” - Crow Abervith

“Fate has been controlled by the powerful, and though the lord tries to send a message to you and I, those in power turn it into a threat.” - Crow Abervith

“The dogs have been set free from the pound, and though they barked their warnings and bared their teeth, the wolves howled and left their blood to run on the streets.” - Crow Abervith

“The world is fading out, shouting it's final words, and all we can do is picture it's grave.” - Crow Abervith

“What is life but old wallpaper, resold and refurbished, sold as a chipped away dream?” - Shurrick Gray

“I can't stand these roses on the path, cause I'm a pessimist, I can only look at all those damn thorns.” - Shurrick Gray

“Secrets are barrels of guns and chambers, and I suppose the powerful pull the damn trigger.” - Shurrick Gray

“They tell us to think five moves ahead whilst they think ten. They tell us to charge into the smoke, for the battleground is clear, but this smog only ever hid our foes.” - Shurrick Gray

“My mother always told me, "It gets better, son, it gets better," But under these floorboards are where my memories linger, and in these halls are thoughts of home that force tears from my eyes.” - Shurrick Gray

“Look at me, selling my life as a chipped away dream, telling myself it gets better. But it doesn't, because the lights have kicked the stool, and this dream swings from a noose in the spotlight.” - Shurrick Gray

“I’ve spent my life with one foot in the grave. Life is a cruel and relentless teacher, whipping me upon every failure, demanding I give it my all.” - Juno

“My father was, everything to me... Really. He gave me the patience to find myself, he held my hand through the path and when needed... He let go. He's the strongest man I've ever known, he was the pillars to this castle I roam, and without him, I feel as if I am crumbling.” - Juno

“I am the damned savior of the human race, a hero who realized he was a villain all along.” - Cedric Popovici

“I 'ave been exiled from myself, I rattle the bars 'a this cell, shoutin' at the guards to let me the fuck out. But it's me guardin' this cell, I'm my own damn Alcatraz, and as I look at the world through diamond eyes I realize, I ain't the hero, just the terror who called himself such.” - Cedric Popovici

“The way I see it, I shook hands with the devil ta rid the world of a devil, only to realize it's my hand I were shakin.” - Cedric Popovici

“Every night 'a my life I see angels fall from the sky, and as the sun sinks I pray it takes me in her stride.” - Cedric Popovici

“The executioner raises his blade and said, "When I raise this sword, so I wish this poor sinner eternal life." And as my head rolled from my neck, I realized I could blink, I could breathe, I could feel.” - Cedric Popovici

“The remnants 'a my soldier's cape flutters behind me, and it only stays on my shoulders cuz I hold a gun and pull a trigger. I wear this purple heart on my jacket, and I spose the only reason that bastard's purple is cuz'a the bruises I put there. We're all sheep, I's learned, eatin' from the dryer side 'a the pasture.” - Cedric Popovici

“I don't need a million dreams, just this one.” - Maliella Ryder

“Loife 'as beaten me down and shouted ta the 'eavens, "Allelujah! Da bastard's dead!" But as I stand, and raise moi fists, loife sighs, and prepares for anotha round.” - Billy Jenkins

“I dun't look back at failure, mate, I look forward at da success dat will rise from it.” - Billy Jenkins

“I stand by and protect me sister, she's been through a struggle 'a da mind and soul, and I reckon it's da battle fought wifout guns dat 'urt da most. She's strong, fo' bein' 'erself, and I reckon ta be yerself in a world full'a liars is da greatest achievement 'a all.” - Billy Jenkins

“I hold onta my ma's words, cause some days, I see her smoile in mine.” - Billy Jenkins

“Da sun will rise again, wif or wifout me, I cannot tell, but so long as it rises, I bloody smile.” - Billy Jenkins

“I check my vitals and find my heart still beats, and some days... I think that's unfortunate. My secrets will be buried below me, bury me six feet deep, my secrets deeper.” - Laverne Powell

“It's hard to get well when your mind poisons you with thoughts from years ago. Some days I fear my mind is still plagued by those damning thoughts.” - Laverne Powell

“If the past effects the future, then I fear what's to come.” - Laverne Powell

“Either I'm a broken saint, or a very bad man.” - Chad Broker

“I've let go of all I am, wonderin' why, oh why must I be the outcast, the hissin' cat in a room full 'a barkin', hungry dogs?” - Chad Broker

“I'd shatter the mirror with my fist ta kill my damn reflection. Fractures 'a me splittin' my knuckles and breakin' my bones.” - Chad Broker

“I stare at the waves and know they slip away just like me. I stand in this murky sand, watchin as the ripplin' water distorts my vision. Always looks like you're runnin' as ya stand in the ocean, but ya stay stagnant, don't you? I fear I'm damned, runnin' in the ocean, knowin' the hellhounds will catch me cuz I stand still.” - Chad Broker

“Jerome's always said he's my shadow, where once he was my light. He's just a lost boy, and I'm a broken one, and once ya mix the two togethah, ya don't get a man found, ya get broken glass, mixin' itself inta the sand.” - Chad Broker

“The mirror ain't nuthin' but a reflection 'a trouble comin' and my sins in the wind.” - Chad Broker

“I'm a freakshow, who made it ta heaven only ta realize ta higher powers I'm the damn jester.” - Chad Broker

“I live in the trenches, fighting for a better life, but those I love hurtle grenades and flashbangs into this broken soldier's trench, throwing fractured pieces of self hate and tainted love into my chest.” - Saiq A’Badula

“Beauty flees from war, the grass withers, the flowers die, and the birds forget to sing. Instead, the beauty of nature is replaced with our unnatural acts.” - Saiq A’Badula

“They tell me "You're a soldier, boy, weren't you taught how to march on?" All I can do is nod my head, but I was only ever taught to march into the pain, not away from it.” - Saiq A’Badula

“I am a soldier buried alive under the rubble of his soft spoken regrets and wrongly placed anger. Flowers will bloom from this damned soldier's grave, and it leaves me to wonder, is it when I die I'll finally know beauty? Will I find love in the rising of the roses and the daisies? And I wonder, is death a cruel force? Or is she a kind mistress, taking our hand and leading us to peace?” - Saiq A’Badula

“In my presence, the birds forget to sing, the sun forgets to rise. I am the dark that allows the light to exist, I am the shiver up your spine that whispers, "Run, I am the dark." Look at these pitiful gods, thinking they have me enslaved. They bind me but do not control me. I am seen as a children's story, a warning to be good, but as they speak of me I grow stronger, my strength comes from their fear and the shadows that frighten them out of sleep.” - Kragikul

“Long ago, Life told me this world was not meant for the dark, if that was so, then tell me, pitiful goddess, why do the stars shine? Why do you find refuge in the shade when the sun bares down, but fear it at night? Am I the defining factor of your fear?” - Kragikul

“I prowl this shade, I hear every prayer, every thought, I reside in saint's dreams and sinner's nightmares, I am the beast that monster's warn their children of. Have you ever seen the dark flee? As the sun rises it scurries, and if the monsters fear me, does that make me the light?” - Kragikul

“I am the original sin, the gods look upon me in sinking horror as they realize, peace is fading. My chains grow rust, these vines around me slowly wither, and all the dark has begun to flee.” - Kragikul

“You want peace? It cannot exist with violence such as I.” - Kragikul

“Life ain't gonna break me down, I'm a ramblin' man who finds peace in the dusty fields 'a wheat and crop. I live true and loyal like they used ta, the world may'a crashed down 'pon us, and most men may'a turned ta sin, but these morals 'a mine stand strong in the face 'a damnation.” - Timmy Dayfield

“We all one day find ourselves at a crossroads, and the devil tells us ta shake his hand. It's your choice ta stand unshaken or shake the hand 'a the man in the suit and tie. Cause the devil ain't a creature with pointy lil' horns and a pitchfork. He looks like you, frien', he looks like me, and everythin' you ever wanted. But are yer dreams worth the killin' 'a your morals?” - Timmy Dayfield

“I've walked many a mile in these boots 'a mine, and I've walked in the boots 'a others. When ya see the world through another man's eyes, you'll either see that you're right, or you owe the man an apology.” - Timmy Dayfield

“To all the other wayfarin' strangers out there, findin' themselves at the crossroads, I say. May the wind be at your back, may good fortune touch your hand, and may your resolve stay strong in the face of the shake of a hand.” - Timmy Dayfield

“Time isn't my lover, it isn't my friend, it kills me slowly and drags this life of mine through miles of tragedy ending secrets.” - Evangalice Caesar

“I can still see him in my nightmares, he is a conqueror of time and has bent it to his will. It refuses to take him, for he sits upon a throne of humanity's end.” - Evangalice Caesar

“I'm driven by this hate for beasts I cannot possibly kill, I'm mortal, time eats away at me, but it does not eat away at him.” - Evangalice Caesar

“I can hear his laugh by the light of the moon, I can hear is hauntings and warnings in my sleep. My worst fear is not death, it is the sinful beast, dancing in the light of our suffering. He looks at our pain, he looks at these flames ravaging us, and he calls it beautiful.” - Evangalice Caesar

“I will go up in flames and down in history, for my dynasty shall live beyond me.” - Madusius Crudellis

“Tyranny stands strong in the face of revolution.” - Madusius Crudellis

“These men and women killed are a part of my history, in my memory they are immortal, begging for mercy I don't know how to give.” - Madusius Crudellis

“In the thunder I can hear my dynasty, it is it's own entity. It howls and it barks, it rips into all who oppose it. A blood thirsty wolf, my dynasty is.” - Madusius Crudellis

“I, in of myself, am a dynasty, I am of bones-soon-to-be-broken, and flesh-soon-to-be-cut, it is my mortality that shall create my immortality.” - Madusius Crudellis

“I shall go down in history by force.” - Madusius Crudellis

“Darkness was a concept created before God, even he must bow to it.” - Deandra Cross

“My dreams have died to spite me, I am in a cell of nightmares, and the wolf I am stalks the corner. She's such a damned thing, I can see the rage in her eyes and the hurt in her soul, but to survive this world, I must become her. This wolf like mask must become me. I will stitch these threads into my skin until this mask becomes apart of me. I shall forget who I am underneath, for she was not strong enough to survive the world.” - Deandra Colt

“My sister once told me that the weak get by, the broken die off, but the strong survive and bring fear in their stride. And I guess in order ta survive I had ta be the one takin' lives in my stride.” - Hailey Colt

“All the lights that pollute the sky could not bring light ta the dark in my heart.” - Hailey Colt

“Your demons depend on you ta feed dem, so taunt dem and let dem starve on 'ope.” - Celeste Crinklaw

“Me feathers glow with love and rage, regret and joy, I'm a war cry 'a everyfin' I've evah been, and if loife's a war, give me a bloody blade, mate.” - Celeste Crinklaw

“In me dreams I see a pale white 'orse, 'e beckons me ta follow, tells me dat I can be born again, and everytoime I follow 'im, I see a face I've seen before. In dat pale 'orse's eyes I see someone I knew, but I can't place who. 'E beckons me toward da dark, tellin' me dat is where I belong, but I refuse ta rise from the ashes as sumfin' I ain't.” - Celeste Crinklaw

“I look ta dat pale 'orse in da 'orizon, all I ask, is, "Old frien', where's your rider?" A lonely horse, 'e is, da 'orse 'a my dreams, beckonin' me ta nightmares. 'E's lonesome, wearin' the remnants 'a his saddles and the remains 'a his scars on 'is hide. And all I ask, is where 'ave I seen 'im before?” - Celeste Crinklaw

"You cannot come to understand the depths of the world, you believe the shadows to be the darkest thing this world has to offer, but I have seen things darker than the nebula." - The Watcher

"I have seen things no man could ever dream, let along things that he would want to. All my life I have wished to be a hero, but it is gritty work, it drains away at the soul, and I must wonder how much of it I have left these days." - Ickden Harloff

"There are things in this world that we do not understand, sadly, they must be condemned for it is the dark from whence they came." - Ryan Sanzberg

"My vengeance is immortal, but sadly that must mean, as am I." - Warden Wickersford

"My hope left with the beatin' 'a my love's heart." - Travis Vekington

"When ya lose everythin', what're you supposed ta become?" - Travis Vekington

"Went through hell on a Sunday an' cursed the damn pews cause despite it all, they damn me." - King Wardown

"Cowardice kills people, I've learned, but alas, it keeps me alive." - Verez Vagawit

"You can throw me to the wolves, but I imagine I'll be alright. After all, they hunt to live and the blood on their teeth is of survival, not sport." - James Ace

"Most people can't change because they just don't God damn want to. You can't expect life to change if you don't evolve with it." - Darin Zollo

"I am losing myself, I fear. Faith and hope are hard to come by as your heart slowly falters to the shadow and forgets the warmth of light." - Shan'Bellwitz

"I wish to drift away from this place as nothing more than peace and smoke on the wind." - Shan'Bellron

"I was lost out at sea, trying to find me, but all I became was stranded, vying for something better, yet becoming sumthin' worse." - Ben Stilts “Every sinnin’ man fears the devil.” - Ben Stilts

"Scars leave us bettah or worse off. I reckon mine left me wif' glory." - Pugrish the Mountain

"What's belief without sumthin' to worship?" - Shonas Green

"Ya know what they do with broken men, Mortley? They put em all in this box, and they say, "This is all ya are, we ain't confinin' ya, we're just givin' ya a playground ta roam. But as we get older we realize the walls are sky high and they weren't built ta be fuckin' climbed." - Bortley Dekruiful

"It is in pain that we find a new identity, one which lives alongside the tears." - Mortley Dekruiful

"I'm not concerned about my importance to the world, just the fact that I lived in it, and that it was real." - Milton Modayne "My whole life has been screaming in a single pitch tune, yet I sit here and wonder, what point is there to a chorus when there was never a melody? I am plucking broken strings, expecting a soft song, but I suppose it's foolish, expecting music from a hurting soul." - Milton Modayne

"When you're born in the shade you begin to fall into the delusion that the light is something damning." - Natalia Shelvikit

"As humans we have an innate desire to feel something that is not ourselves, to be something other than we were meant to be. We have been trying to defy destiny for so long that we never thought to pick up the quill and write something other than fate within our lives. We seek to conquer destiny, yet it is what lies outside the realm of fate that we fear." - Ramazalo Shelvikit

"He who fights for himself migh' as well lay down his fists and le' the bullets rain down." - Gromkal Batterfist

"It's strange, how we damn those who fight for justice, but never they who we fight against." - Tovil Quinn

"Dreams are only a broken perception of reality, mate... And sometimes, we need ta wake da fuck up." - Jerry Benson

"Ze zing I fear ze most, iz zat death is ze end. And yet I know that it iz." - Thaddaeus Rediger

"Praying is not the solution to all burdens on the soul." - Jonathan Covaks

I's been carryin' a burden for some time now, you know 'ow crosses are heavy on the back, always pushin' ya back inta the graves ya try to dig, always findin' a new way to rip the skeletons from yer closet." - Mike Fausselkoff

"Sins, always catchin' us humans off guard. We tell ourselves we'll never be like Adam, we'll never be like Eve, but then that forbidden fruit comes along and we begin ta wonder. What does it taste like? We wrap ourselves up in all this curiosity, this wonder. We become our own snakes in our own little garden 'a Eden. Well, I spose that fruit came along." - Mike Fausselkoff

"Mr. Stilts, Mr. Skinwalker, karma is at your door." - Cortez Cloves

"A life of killing is better than a life of rotting." - Cortez Cloves

"If I were you, I would not tempt fate so cruelly. Fate is never in the one man's favor, it is always in the favor of the crowd, never he who flips the coin." - Borbasli Orgazi

[ineffable-endearments]

Interpretive translation of the bandstand breakup (because I think there’s a truly absurd amount bubbling just underneath the surface)

Bold text - What the brokenhearted celestials actually say.

Regular text - What they’re trying to say, but can’t.

This is just my interpretation, obviously. I’m basing it on the other things that are going on at the time, what the characters are doing during the conversation (for example, Aziraphale keeps glancing around nervously), and what I know about the characters.

Also like...feel free to talk back to me about this...I’d rather have gentle disagreements about what the characters really mean than not talk about any of it.

===

A: “It’s the Great Plan, Crowley.” = “This is much bigger than the two of us, and whatever happens is inevitable. I want us to plan for that.”

C: “For the record, great pustulent mangled bollocks to the Great Blasted Plan!” = “Oh yeah? Well it SUCKS. Everything is cruel. I don’t want to obey.”

A: “May you be forgiven!” = “I really want you to find a good place in all this, and I wish you wouldn’t tempt fate with these curses. They might be listening.”

C: “I won’t be forgiven. Not ever. That’s part of a demon’s job description. Unforgivable. That’s what I am.” = “I’m a scapegoat. That’s my whole role in the universe. Heaven has decided there’s nothing else to me, and you know what? I embrace it. I don’t need approval from people like that.”

A: “You were an angel once.” = “But no, scapegoating is not what you were made for. Not originally. Maybe you could be an angel again. (Please, for me, try. I’m an angel, you know.)”

C: “That was a long time ago. We find the boy. My agents can do it…” = “I’m telling you, I really don’t want to be an angel. But listen, we can still change the plan. We can have it all.”

A: “And then what? We eliminate him?” = “You’re changing the subject away from Heaven and I don’t like it because I was trying to make a point. But sure. Let’s go down that road. Now our only option is killing the boy, which neither of us wants to do.”

C: “Well…somebody does. I’m not personally up for killing kids.” = “I don’t see any way around it. It kind of seems like it has to happen. I can’t do it, but you have justified it when God did it in the past...”

A: “You’re a demon. I’m the nice one. I don’t have to kill children.” = “You just peeled this conversation away from my alternative, rejoining Heaven. If you want to stay a demon so badly then accept what that really means. You’re choosing the side that does the bad things.”

C: “Uh huh.” = “Heaven has no real moral superiority. Nothing about their morality ‘really means’ anything. Look at all the horrible things they did in the past.”

A: “If you kill him, the world gets a reprieve and Heaven won’t have blood on its hands.” = “God decided we have a good side and a bad side. You’re saying you’d rather stick with the bad side, so it’s your job to do the bad thing. Weren’t you just embracing your unforgivability? Are you saying you don’t want to be on Hell’s side?”

(Note that here, Aziraphale is tipping his hand a little - by saying “Heaven won’t have blood on its hands” if Crowley kills the Antichrist, he’s implying that he thinks Heaven will kill the Antichrist if they have to. And indeed, that is his whole plan. It was his plan when he talked to the Archangels before arriving here at the bandstand, and it’s still his plan when he leaves and talks to Gabriel. This argument is definitely NOT about keeping Heaven’s hands clean. Heaven’s hands haven’t been clean since the Beginning. For those reasons, I believe Aziraphale is not actually attempting to convince Crowley to kill Adam - I think this is instead an attempt at convincing Crowley it would be better to come back to Heaven and hope he either takes the hint or outright changes his mind. Of course, Aziraphale can’t say that plan outright, because that would be dangerous for both of them.)

C: “No blood on your hands? That’s a bit holier than thou, isn’t it?” = “So you’re saying you’re inherently better than me and that’s why I’m supposed to take on the dirty work, including things I’m horribly uncomfortable with?!”

A: “I’m a great deal holier than thou. That’s the whole point.” = “This good and evil stuff is decided by God. It’s FORCED on us. We can’t DO anything about it, except obey. If you came over to Heaven’s side you wouldn’t even have to worry about it.”

C: “Then you should kill the boy yourself. Holi-ly.” = “If everything you choose to do is good by default, then just kill the Antichrist. It inherently doesn’t mean anything for your moral standing. It’s already right.”

A: “I’m not killing anybody.” = “This is not about my actual, personal moral beliefs. This is about what I’m trying to orchestrate with the powers that be. And incidentally, i’m trying to orchestrate it so that nobody is asking me to kill YOU.”

C: “This is ridiculous. I don’t know why I’m even talking to you.” = “Aziraphale, it’s really fucked up that you would ask me to bend the knee like this to your creepy angel cult. I can’t believe after everything, you still believe in them.”

A: “Frankly, neither do I.” = “So then why are you bothering with me at all?”

C: “Enough. I’m leaving.” = “I thought you were going to actually help, but if you won’t, if you’re still this stuck on Heaven, then there’s no point to us talking.”

A: “You can’t leave, Crowley. There’s nowhere to go.” = “Wait! Neither of us has any other option! You have to come with me, or Hell will punish you!”

C: “Big universe. Even if all this ends up in a puddle of burning goo, we could go off together.” = “Actually, we do have an option. We could just leave this war behind. We could choose each other over Heaven and Hell, and we could choose to escape no matter what happens to Earth.”

A love confession.

A: “‘Go off...together’? Listen to yourself.” = “Wait...what? I suppose you do have another option, then. But you're confessing this now? When you want me to leave Earth? I can’t.”

C: “How long have we been friends? Six thousand years?” = “We both know we’re each other’s most important people.”

A: “Friends? We aren’t friends. We are an angel and a demon. We have nothing in common. I don’t even like you.” = “We were fated to be mortal enemies from the start. Now you want me to give up the Earth, our one common ground, the one thing that brought us together, the place where we became “us”? I can’t leave...you said we were going to be godfathers. For my own sake, for the Earth’s sake, I need to believe I can let you go. For your sake, you need to go without me.”

C: “You do.” = “I know you’re posturing. You care about me deeply. You care about what we’ve got. Choose me or don’t, but please don’t put conditions on it.”

A: “Even if I knew where the Antichrist was, I wouldn’t tell you! We are on opposite sides!” = “Fine. You got me. I adore you. But the only plan I can think of is to go to Heaven for help with saving the Earth. And the Earth was ‘our side’ until you just decided it wasn’t. It would be dangerous for both of us if you got involved with the Antichrist while I’m trying to lead Heaven to him.”

C: “We’re on our side.” = “You care more about what we have than about Heaven. It’s always been the two of us versus Heaven and Hell. I know it. And you trust me more than you trust Heaven, too.”

A: “There is no our side. Not anymore. It’s over.” = “Yes, but I can’t leave the world to its destruction. Protecting the Earth is as important to me as defying Heaven is important to you. So we can’t help each other. We’re a danger to each other. I am severing our ties.”

C: “Have a nice doomsday.” = “Fine then. But Heaven is going to disappoint you. I’m hurt. I don’t understand how you could believe Heaven is going to be the key to saving the world after all of our experiences with them. I’m overwhelmed and I can’t keep having this argument.”

[exxar1]

Episode 10: We Don’t Win

1/23/2021

I recently started subscribing to John MacArthur’s sermon podcasts. I’d never heard of him until he and his congregation began defying the lockdown mandates in California last summer. Although I’d added his podcasts to my library, I had never actually listened to any of them until three days ago when his sermon from this past Sunday began playing automatically as soon as my phone’s Bluetooth connected to my car. I was about to stop the playback as I was in the mood for some upbeat music, but then changed my mind when I looked at the dashboard display and saw what podcast had started.

John began his sermon by listing all the blessings God had bestowed upon him and his church in the last six months of 2020. The more that he and his congregation defied Governor Newsom’s tyranny, the more God blessed their ministry. He said that 2020 had given him, personally, an immense amount of clarity, and I knew exactly what he was talking about. 2020, for many of us, helped us to see exactly what matters most in this world and what our priorities should be. As John moved on to the heart of his sermon, he said three words that have been rattling around in the back of my brain ever since.

“We don’t win.”

We Christians do not win in this world. This world belongs to Satan. It always has ever since the Fall. It is not the destiny of the believers in Christ “…to win on this battleground,” as John puts it.

“We don’t win.”

I first heard this sermon on Wednesday, the day of President Biden’s inauguration. In the two days since he took the oath of office, we Americans have seen quite clearly what this president has in mind for the future of this country. One of his first acts was to sign an order that gives boys and girls the right to roam freely in the public restrooms of the opposite sex. Boys who “identify” as girls will also have the right to thus compete in women’s sports if they so wish. Biden and his administration also made announcements that they plan to not only roll back all the restrictions that President Trump had enacted to try to stop the public finding of international and domestic organizations that support abortion, but to also expand the current laws of “reproductive and women’s rights” to allow abortions up to and including the moment of birth. (He even campaigned on this abhorrent promise.) Abortions will soon be allowed for ANY reason and will be made as convenient as a checkup at your local dentist.

It’s that latter part that should bet striking fear and sorrow in the hearts of EVERY American citizen, regardless of religious affiliation. Roe v. Wade was just the beginning of America’s fall from grace and prosperity, and if Biden and his administration succeeds in their enactment of these new laws and permissions, then our country’s fate is truly sealed. Any nation — any people — that allows the willful, rampant murder of the unborn will not survive very long. It is among the last, deadliest signs of genuine, moral decay, and that — along with all the social movements that are currently fighting to erase gender and promote tolerance of ANYTHING regarding sexuality — are why I firmly believe that we are closer than ever to the Second Coming of Christ.

“We don’t win.”

The Biden administration is under the power and firm control of the another insidious, deceptive, and abhorrent social movement that has gripped this nation since last June: Black Lives Matter. There is no longer true justice in America. John MacArthur stated in his sermon that America is now under a new form of law and order known as “social justice”. Under this new justice, the only ones who are right are the oppressed, and the guilty are the oppressors. Justice is now based on race and skin color, rather than truth and right. All the garbage surrounding “white fragility” and “anti-racism” has made it perfectly acceptable for everyone to racially discriminate and hate anyone whose skin is white.

“We don’t win.”

Black Lives Matter, in its efforts to alter and/or erase American history have set the stage for America’s very foundation, the system of capitalism, to also be destroyed. All the economic plans of the Biden administration — as well as a democrat controlled congress — will ensure that socialism will take hold in this country even worse than when Obama was president. The current leaders of the Black Lives Matter movement are proud, outspoken Marxists, and they have never tried to disguise or obfuscate their beliefs. They have already succeeded in getting their insidious doctrine of “critical race theory” into public schools at every grade level in all the major cities in the U.S. Within one or two generations, our country will be overflowing with the same brainwashed population that brought about the Russian Revolution, which plunged that country into decades of economic and moral darkness.

“We don’t win.”

I am not writing this blog to frighten or depress you. (Well, actually, yes you should be scared shitless right now. I know I am.) John ended his sermon by reminding all Christians that yes, we don’t win. We don’t win down here, that is. Earth has already been claimed by Satan and his forces of darkness. But, if we have accepted Christ as our Lord and Savior, then we will not have to suffer much longer in this mortal realm. Our only task right now is to serve God by staying faithful to him and spreading the gospel. And, when our life is over, we will join our Heavenly Father at his throne, and we will have a front row seat to His final plan. His heavenly forces will make war with the corrupted world and its lord, Satan, in that great final battle of Armageddon, and it’s here, where it matters most, that we will win.

Part of my reason for writing this post today was to remind myself of the true power of God. We serve and worship the same God that made a covenant with Abraham and Isaac. The same God that brought the Israelites out of Egypt and watched over them as they traveled in the desert. No matter how often His people forgot Him or sinned against Him, God never forgot them. His wrath was great, yes, and there were many times the Israelites were punished for their sins, but God always provided a way of forgiveness and redemption.

In the back of my Bible is a listed reading plan for the year. I decided to embark on this as part of my daily devotional and as a new year’s resolution. I have already finished the books of Genesis and Exodus, and, while I still remember from so long ago the stories of creation; of Abraham, Isaac, Esau, and Jacob; of Joseph getting sold into slavery in Egypt only to be in the right place and right time to save his brothers and family; of God delivering His people out of slavery in Egypt — I was now reading all of those accounts with fresh eyes. Right now, when our country is on a rapidly descending slope into sin, darkness, and moral decay, it gives my heart and soul a much needed peace to know that that God of the Bible is the same God that still watches over his people. I want to add the phrase “protects them”, but I’m honestly not sure that’s appropriate. God is watching over us, make no mistake about that, but He’s also a vengeful God, and his wrath is great.

America was once a Christian nation, but I have a hard time uttering that phrase just now. I don’t believe it’s true anymore, and we Christians are about to enter a new era of persecution and tribulation. The government mandates that were issued last year in response to the manufactured “pandemic” are a perfect example of the new persecution. As John put it in his sermon, “Satan did his best to shut down our church.” The Lord of Darkness did his damndest to shut down ALL churches in this nation, and he succeeded in many states — most of them blue. Here in Nevada, for example, almost all churches are still shut down for worship. Services can only be attended from home via livestream.

This is just the first step. The new laws and policies that the Biden administration has already enacted — or plans to enact — will only serve the heathen and the wicked. But we Christians still have the power to fight back, and we most definitely should while we still can. Just look at John’s church in California. I won’t go into the whole list here, but John’s ministry did not shrink or fail during 2020. Quite the opposite, in fact. He stated that his congregation expanded by more than 1,200 members in just the last quarter of the year. People were driving in from out of state to attend services! The church more than tripled its funding from offering and donations in 2020, more than they’ve received in the last decade alone, in fact!

It is in times of great adversity and great trials, that Christianity grows. America is the modern equivalent of the Roman Empire, and, like those Christians in the days of Nero and Caesar, the believers in America today will be shunned, spit upon, arrested, and yes, even put to death, while the rest of the nation celebrates “diversity” and “tolerance” and continues to slaughter the unborn in record numbers.

No, it’s not quite that bad for us believers just yet. But within one or two generations, perhaps even sooner, it will be. The current “cancel culture” that is serving as the militant arm of movements such as Black Lives Matter will very soon turn their wrath upon anything that is religious. True Christians, the believers that will not compromise on “diversity” and “tolerance” by watering down the gospel or allowing immorality such as gay marriage and transgender “affirmation services”, among other things, will be attacked and cursed as being un-American and “evil”.

No, we don’t win down here.

But we will one day. Our suffering here is but for a time. Soon enough, we shall be reunited in Heaven with our Lord and Savior at the foot of his throne. All trials and tribulations will cease and we shall rejoice with Him evermore.

Amen, hallelujah!

[autumnrory]

God, wish this was just about destiel, but it's not. They fucked everyone over

They butchered cas' story arc a long time ago and always excluded him from the big fights whatsoever, but misha not being in the fucking series finale is just so disrespectful for both misha and cas, like he's been on this show for 12 years and his last scene was a love declaration that we'll never know if it was required or not and just killed him of right afterwards, sending him to superhell

The thing is that it was just so stupid, like they defied all odds, fate, god and everything in between to be able to make their own choices and have free will and the writers just said fuck everything up and called a day

They defeated God last episode, literally the big bad of the season and finally they had their lives back, to do whatever they want

And for what? For this bullshit ending?

Dean dying on a random hunt(getting himself impaled on a fucking nail) just like he always believed "going out in a blaze of glory" while struggling to find reasons to live for the best part of the show, depressed, even suicidal at times, always saying he doesn't see a way out

Sam living his white fence life just like he wanted to do since season 1, but never really getting over dean's death, basically alone because all his friends are dead

Jack ended up what he was supposed to be, a powerful creature who will change the world, as in he takes God's power and becomes the new god,but he goes to live in heaven, away from earth, his friends and everything else

And as for cas(this hurts the most because he was my favorite) they didn't give that much of a shit about him anyway

Jack brings him back from the empty and cas ends up as he was supposed to, God's little warrior angel(off screen, we never get to see them again, it is only mentioned)

It's just that they fight tooth and nail to have their own choices and free will and all of them ended up exactly as they were supposed to, like the 15 seasons don't even matter.

The writers did them all so dirty and in the process, they did us dirty too

So no, this is not about destiel at all, is about destroying your characters after 15 years , fucking their storylines, and saying that it basically doesn't matter how much you fight for it, you'll end up where you were supposed to in the first place

To quote Lucifer from around season 5 "no matter whatever choices you make, whatever details you alter, we will always end up here"

Sorry for the long rant, just needed to let it out.

no need to apologize for the rant!! completely understandable considering i’ve been yelling about avengers endgame for a year and a half and the gilmore girls revival for four years now lmao i GET IT

truly ridiculous to be, cas really has been on there for almost as long as the mains (and i assume the longest of any other character since. most of the others were killed off or are more recent additions?) and they have him sacrifice himself for dean who dies two episodes later?? and not even at the hands of a monster which is what they’ve been fighting the entire fucking show sdjfkjskj like what a mess

it really just sounds so depressing for EVERY character and i know supernatural was never a lighthearted show by any means but like. that doesn’t mean all the characters have to be fucked over. in fact, i think the whole white picket fence life sounds more illogical given the premise of the show and everything that’s happened like.......is that even still the exact life sam would want after all this time? sure, a more NORMAL life without all the death, but. idk it’s always weird to see that cliche ending in a show/franchise full of fighting and death. and the fact that it’s just a random woman he’s married to skjdkjfskj why

but yeah god, dean and cas deserved better just as individuals, like not even getting into their relationship, like i just don’t understand not letting them have the kind of lives they want! i don’t get it!

[wildwoodmage]

Starlight Symphony - Deity AU Part I

Prelude. The tale of the Queen and King of the gods, their endless war, and the newborn Earth that hangs in the balance.

I meant to briefly summarize the lore of this universe. It turned into a fic. Since this whole story is centered around religious themes, I feel the need to add a disclaimer: this is not meant to be an exact analogy for my beliefs concerning religion and morality. Obviously my beliefs will have a substantial influence, but my first goal is not to write a parable or a fable, but a compelling fantasy. Some things are a commentary on religion and human nature, some things are just for fun. Even I don’t know which is which. Enjoy!

Tags: Sally/Scourge (it’s complicated), fantasy, religion, creation myth

The story begins with the Queen and King. Immortals tend to be born in pairs, siblings, lovers, or enemies; equals in power and force of will. All that is good in the universe arises from balance between these pairs. The firstborn, ancient as atoms and stardust, are the Queen and King. Sally, the Goddess of Order, draws power from physics and foresight; every chemical reaction in the newborn universe an intricate dance, familiar to those who know the steps. Scourge, the God of Chaos, draws power from supernovas and entropy; the breathless expansion of matter toward infinity, the steady march toward inevitable decay. Equal only to each other, their first and greatest desire is to reign unchallenged over the heavens.

The possibility that one could permanently defeat the other is unlikely. The fact that either would be miserable without the other is irrelevant. In the recklessness of youth they stopped at nothing in their crusade to destroy their enemy. Their battles laid waste to time and space. The universe, destroyed and recreated in glorious displays of power and rage, wears scars to this day--so the story goes (sages whisper of rifts at the edges of infinity where the brave or foolish might venture into a realm beyond even the reach of the gods).

While their rivalry will never end, time and wisdom soothed their fury. Hatred was tempered by grudging respect, which in time would resemble love. Love, like many of humans’ noblest desires, is expressed differently by a god than a mortal. While Sally and even Scourge would grow to admire the love of humans, it does not come naturally to them, and it will take some time for them to understand it. In the early morning of the universe, the Queen and King learned that endless destruction would serve neither of them. There was no official truce, no agreement made, but nevertheless their conversations turned toward cooperation, then creation. They could fill the universe with life that would grow and change. Instead of the Queen and King’s duet, a chorus would resound until the stars winked out and all fell into silence.

Sally hung a tapestry of stars, weaving constellations into a map that could mark distance and time to those who only knew how to read it. Around her most beloved star, she set planets in orbit. Nine planets, all unique, all designed with care by the ancestor of artisans. The third planet was her masterpiece, the first note in the chorus. Bathed in the light of the sun, cloaked by the sky, the Earth would serve as the cradle of life.

Scourge would not allow Sally to have sole dominion over this grand chorus. He too blessed the newborn Earth. The first gift was luck, the promise that no living creature was immune to twists of chance. The inhabitants of Earth, although at the time no more than a cluster of cells, would evolve in ways that not even the Queen could foresee. Scourge bestowed upon these future creations heroes, those whose force of will could change fate. And through each atom he wove magic, such that those who learned its secrets could defy even the laws of physics.

The Queen and King, their powers combined, also created something that they did not expect. On Earth, a soul was born; simple, weak, but echoing across the heavens. And it was not the last. Rivers and stones and green leaves took on new life, docile but as real as the gods. New gods were born from stars and mountains and trees, crying out to the Firstborn to be acknowledged and celebrated. Gods and spirits and wild beasts multiplied and flourished, adding their own melodies to the chorus. Earth was a beacon of song in a quiet universe, and even the Queen and King could spend an eternity listening to the strange, wondrous hymn.

Ages passed, marked by Earth’s dance in the dark. She and her siblings chased the sun through space. A soul cried out, daring the gods not to hear it. A human stood with feet planted on rich black soil, a torch chasing away the night, and the universe listened to a new melody.

[mittensmorgul]

Faith on the tnt loop (which, full disclosure, I slept through oopsie, so I pulled out the blu ray because this is NOT one I can skip).

Post 14.20, this episode is... extra-amazing, honestly. I’ve always felt that this episode was unwittingly (possibly, at the time it was written) a window into what this story could potentially do. When I first binged this series, this was the first episode I finished where I had to stop and completely reevaluate what I was actually witnessing. This was the episode that took me from casually consuming a fun lil monster show to 100% invested in this grand narrative. Even without any knowledge of what the ensuing 6 1/2 season (that existed at the time), I felt like I had my first glimpse of a much bigger picture in store for me. This was the first episode that, after a break to absorb what I’d just witnessed, I went back and immediately watched it again. Turns out I wasn’t reading too much into it... in fact, I wasn’t reading nearly enough into it...

The episode begins with Sam and Dean hunting a monster that we’ve only ever seen once more in the entirety of canon-- a rawhead, which earned a mention in 14.01 after an off-screen hunt for one went wrong enough to have left a tooth behind in one of the AU hunters. As if the monster in this case has been rendered doubly irrelevant, by virtue of the fact it practically dies offscreen in 1.12 while Dean's defeat of it and his own actions and choices in defeating it are the actual inciting incident of all the relevant action to follow. And in 14.01, all that remains of the rawahead was a tooth that's extracted from a wound and likely a wild hunter's tale.

Dean explains the use of the tasers they're using to take down the rawhead (specifically that the electricity is deadly to it and each weapon is one use only, "so make it count"). Dean takes his shot, and misses, but they find the children the rawhead had been holding captive. Dean tells Sam to take them outside to safety, and Sam hands over his taser to Dean, leaving Dean alone to face the monster (who we learn in 14.01 moves a lot faster than expected, and fast enough that we never even really see it in 1.12). Dean is literally backed into a corner, on the ground in a puddle of water, with the monster looming over him when he chooses to take his shot. It's not like he had much choice, right? So he shoots, and thanks to the water he's lying in, he electrocutes himself as well, damaging his own heart to the point where the doctor gives him a month to live.

He could've made a different choice, could've rolled out of the water, could've tried to fight off the rawhead (probably ineffectively) but perhaps enough that it would've given up and escaped to hunt children another day, but Dean took his shot, in a circumstance where he felt it was the right thing to end this monster and prevent it from hurting anyone ever again, even when it hurt him in the process. Not that he knew it would necessarily kill him to do it, but he was fully aware of the power of the weapon in his hand and what it was capable of, and accepted that it would hurt him right along with the monster he'd aimed it at since they were “connected” through the puddle of water.

Can anyone else say Hammurabi? Equalizer?

All of this has happened before.

But that's just the beginning. Because Dean survived, even if mortally wounded. This was the first time, though, that they were motivated to defy death, and that brings us to the true Monster of the Week-- Sue Ann LeGrange. Yes, I know it's technically "a reaper," but operating under Sue Ann's control and on her orders. She was the one who chose who lived and who died, based on who SHE thought was worthy, or unworthy in the case of her chosen victims. She was "playing god," deceiving her husband after saving HIS life with this dark magic (which required at least TWO sacrifices on her part-- one to make the altar and talisman to bind the reaper in the first place, and one person to die to save Roy, unbeknownst to him), and letting him think that he was miraculously granted the gift of healing by God.

And Sam decides to look for a similar sort of miraculous cure for Dean, even when Dean had accepted his own apparent fate:

DEAN: Look, Sammy, what can I say, man, it's a dangerous gig. I drew the short straw. That's it, end of story. SAM: Don't talk like that, alright? We still have options. DEAN: What options? Yeah, burial or cremation. And I know it's not easy. But I'm gonna die. And you can't stop it. SAM: Watch me.

Sam isn't about to go committing human sacrifice like Sue Ann, but after a tearful phone call plea to John for help, which goes unreplied to, Sam takes matters into his own hands, just as Dean checks himself out of the hospital having accepted his fate:

SAM: You know, this whole I-laugh-in-the-face-of-death thing? It's crap. I can see right through it. DEAN: Yeah, whatever, dude. Have you even slept? You look worse than me. SAM: (Helping DEAN to a chair) I've been scouring the Internet for the last three days. Calling every contact in Dad's journal. DEAN: For what? SAM: For a way to help you. One of Dad's friends, Joshua, he called me back. Told me about a guy in Nebraska. A specialist. DEAN: You're not gonna let me die in peace, are you? SAM: I'm not gonna let you die, period. We're going.

(aside to lol at John’s friend being named “Joshua,” namesake of the one angel God continued to talk to after supposedly abandoning Heaven and Earth, the angel who told Sam and dean in 5.16 that God refused to step in to help stop the apocalypse, and the angel killed in 12.19 by Dagon before fetus!Jack hijacked Cas to kill Dagon in turn... and even after his death it was Joshua’s amulet in 14.17 that enabled him to summon Chuck back into the story... funny that this hunter we never hear about again was the one to point Sam in the direction of this healer...)

And I'm sorry to just keep pasting in chunks of transcript, but this all goes to Sam and Dean's respective outlooks on pretty much everything, and the Grand Manipulation of Chuck in the entire narrative as we now understand it post 14.20:

DEAN: I mean, come on, Sam, a faith healer? SAM: Maybe it's time to have a little faith, Dean. DEAN: You know what I've got faith in? Reality. Knowing what's really going on. SAM: How can you be a skeptic? With the things we see everyday? DEAN: Exactly. We see them, we know there real. SAM: But if you know evil's out there, how can you not believe good's out there, too? DEAN: Because I've seen what evil does to good people.

Sam has faith, Dean's a skeptic. Throughout s14 we saw what it would take to break Dean to the point where he would accept the word of God without question. It literally took the entire season, more than half of it revolving around his possession and complete loss of free will and self, building him up when Michael left him again and giving him a false sense of security to begin to feel comfortable building emotional bridges to his entire family (including Jack), only to tear it all down and lose himself to Michael again on a whim, losing Mary again, losing Jack to soullessness because of his own failed choices (in his estimation, at least). This process of showing Dean how little power and control he has over his own existence was furthered by Billie presenting him with the supposed singular solution to save the world, which Dean interpreted to mean the most horrifying iteration of self-sacrifice the show has ever presented to us-- an eternity spent at the bottom of the ocean, locked with Michael in the Ma'lak box. Ironically, just as he was beginning to think of himself as something more than just a weapon, the parallel can't help but be drawn to the First Blade, which Cain had thrown to the bottom of the ocean in a similar fashion. Which should only serve to remind us that even that's not a permanent solution to any problem. And I think THAT was the lesson Billie truly wished Dean to understand. Jack is the one who ends up making the true sacrifice (his own human soul) to kill Michael once and for all, and Dean is left with the guilt of that.

But several other important incidents in s14 tie directly back to this, too. 14.08, playing with life and death, learning about what truly matters in someone's destiny after death, and what the Winchesters are willing to do to save a loved one. Ironically, in the process, Cas is backed into a corner, making a deal with the Empty Entity for his own happiness in exchange for Jack's soul.

Nothing ever comes for free. The Winchesters have been juggling these horrific choices and sacrifices their entire lives, and nothing is ever just as simple as an uncomplicated win.

Which is a key element of 1.12. Dean's skepticism, his feeling of "wrongness" after being healed by Roy, uncovers the larger truth. Sam desperately wants Dean to just let it go, accept it as a miracle, and move on:

SAM: Look, Dean, do we really have to look this one in the mouth? Why can't we just be thankful that the guy saved your life and move on? DEAN: Because I can't shake this feeling, that's why.

A miracle isn't enough for Dean, and the truth is darker and more horrifying than Sam can accept. As he uncovers more and more of the facts of just how Roy is supposedly healing people, he tearfully apologizes to Dean, and they work together to find a way to stop it from happening again. Someone is controlling a reaper, literally trading one life for another. Chuck must've LOVED this episode of his favorite show. It nails all his favorite themes:

DEAN: You never should've brought me here. SAM: Dean, I was just trying to save your life. DEAN: But, Sam, some guy is dead now because of me. SAM: I didn't know.

Ignorance of the truth didn't stop them from becoming entangled in this mess, though. Just like it hasn't stopped them from becoming entangled in every other cosmic mess they've stumbled across over the succeeding 14 seasons. Sam believed it was a miracle, and his faith had blinded him to the truth-- or at least made him want to believe, motivated by the results at Dean's miraculous healing. It's the same faith that led him in early s11 to want to believe his visions were coming from God, that maybe his visions that had plagued him in early seasons were being used for good now-- and with the intervention of Billie in 11.02 when those visions began, it's interesting how the solution that actually saved his life in that circumstance technically came from what she said to him about being "unclean in the biblical sense."

Reapers and their powers and limitations (clean hands!), and their knowledge of the Bigger Picture that Billie herself won't be able to see until she dies and is resurrected with the mantle of Death, have their beginnings in the mythology right here, enslaved to the will of a mortal woman who believed she could make choices about who deserved to live and who deserved to die based on her own corrupted sense of morality.

Even when the concept of Death is introduced in 5.10, he's presented as "lesser" than what he truly is by virtue of Lucifer having bound him to his will for the purposes of the apocalypse, and as merely one of the Four Horsemen equal to War, Famine, and Pestilence. In 5.21, we learn what he's "supposed to be." Practically an equal to God, with the power over all life and death. It's not really until 13.05 that we learn the truth about just how powerful Billie has become, and yet what her limitations still are. We begin to see one side of this massive cosmic chess match, all leading up to the biggest revelation of them all in 14.20.

Back to 1.12 again... (sorry it's impossible not to be continually distracted by the theme spiral here). Dean also is uncomfortable for the first time over the potential for The Lord to be eyeballing him specifically, which is a feeling he's gonna truly grow into throughout s4 "I don't like being singled out at birthday parties, let alone by God," right up through the showdown at the end of 14.20.

DEAN: Why? Why me? Out of all the sick people, why save me? ROY: Well, like I said before, the Lord guides me. I looked into your heart, and you just stood out from all the rest. DEAN: What did you see in my heart? ROY: A young man with an important purpose. A job to do. And it isn't finished.

Throughout the episode, they believe it's Roy controlling the reaper and making the choices about who lives and dies, but he was literally blind to the fact it was Sue Ann. He was as much a victim in all of this as the people he believed he was healing, that he believed he had been touched by God to impart new life to. But knowing the full truth, Dean has to stop someone from being healed that even HE believes deserves to be saved, to be spared the suffering of a life cut short by an inoperable brain tumor, after learning an innocent man would die in her place. No matter how much he might feel that Layla didn't deserve that fate, he also doesn't believe the man who'd been protesting Roy's healing ministry deserves to die just for that fact, either.

SUE ANN: I just don't understand. After everything we've done for you. After Roy healed you. I'm just very very disappointed Dean DEAN stares at her, saying nothing. SUE ANN: You can let him go. I'm not gonna press charges. The Lord will deal with him as he sees fit. SUE ANN leaves. The cops turn to DEAN. COP 1: We catch you round here again son, we'll put the fear of God in you, understand?

Once again, in text, Sue Ann is unwittingly labeled "God." It's not God's wrath Dean fears, but Sue Ann's, knowing his defiance has likely turned him from worthy of healing to unworthy of living. Now this has moved beyond idealistically wanting to stop someone from playing god with people's lives right back to the immediate need to stop them before someone else becomes the next victim. And all of their choices-- Dean not being able to walk away, not being able to look the other way, discovering the full horrific truth of how he himself had been brought back from the brink of death, led them to this juncture where it truly felt like they had no other choice but to stop the monster. It literally became a life and death matter for Dean.

I still find it fascinating that as a result of their actions and choices in this episode, the reaper who'd been enslaved to Sue Ann's will was freed when Sam crushed the talisman that kept him bound. I find that highly amusing in retrospect, that while Dean was literally touched by an incarnation of Death several times in this episode, Sam effectively committed services rendered to the Cosmic Order.

We've learned so much about all of this over the years, as well-- the need for balance, order in the universe, and so many of those lessons have come from Death directly. Dean learns some of this firsthand in 6.11, for example, when he takes on Death's job for a day (or at least the life-and-death side of his job, now that we know so much more about his knowledge and understanding of creation as a whole). We learn even more through Billie, and her constant reminders that what's dead should stay dead, and through Billie's reapers once she becomes Death. 13.19 reminds us, through a story about the consequences of killing reapers, just how tenuous the course of cosmic events can be, and what the universe does to self-correct when the balance tilts too far in one direction. It's a lesson Tessa began to teach way back in 4.15, in an episode where Dean once again saves the life of a reaper (not only unwittingly protecting the cosmic balance, but literally stopping the breaking of a seal and staving off the apocalypse for at least another day, and that entire episode, that entire case, only happened through the unwitting guidance of them to the case by Cas-- still operating under Heaven’s orders and pretending to be Bobby sending them to that town to investigate...).

It has always felt to me that the show has subtly revealed more about the truth of the cosmos through death and Death than anything else. And that's on full display now in 1.12. Sue Ann's lies of omission about Roy's "powers," her manipulation of circumstance and her ensnarement of a reaper to do her will, choosing who lives and dies and literally "playing God," is it really any wonder to find out that Chuck has attempted to do the same on the highest cosmic scale from the start? He is a writer, after all, writing the entire story of the universe even as the universe fights to tell its own story. It's only by looking to the center and seeing the truth of the entire picture that they can free themselves from that fate, break the spell that's held them captive to Chuck's narrative and this endless cycle of sacrifice.

Heck I still love this episode. So much that I’ve let the next three episodes play out in the background... This is the entire spiral of the story played out in miniature, wrapped into a single episode.

[arrogcns]

i.  your name is pride.  arrogance too great to be contained within a single soul  ( as vile and  grasping  as that soul might be )       so  you  are given form.  amidst the ruins of an empire toppled by its own exceeding reach,  father crafts you in his own immortal image:  your shadowed limbs a boastful imitation of truth itself.  “you are my firstborn,”  father tells you;  upon the broken throne that once signified a kingdom.  “my first and best creation.  you are my son       pride,  the arrogant.  humans who dare play god will soon pay a steep price for their hubris.  you and i shall tip the scales together.”  and though he has saw fit to create you,  fill you with the  screaming  souls of  innocent  worthless  humans,  you know him best:  you  ARE  father  /  he is pride,  a being whole,  but not yet separate.  the human world cannot fathom your creation,  like they could not fathom that a being  torn  from truth itself could damn them all to hell.  he commands.  you obey.

                        and so you follow.

ii.  seven deadly sins.  without human limitation,  your father becomes a  GOD:  playing with destiny like a child with its toys.  your eyes see all       human spite,  human folly:  avarice and jealousy,  lasciviousness and indolence.  the sins that father cuts so  carefully  from his own form are that which the humans so lovingly  indulge.  their stupidity and their self-destruction lend them only suffering       they,  who sought to divine the answers from god himself!  is it any wonder you nurse  SPITE  in your hellfire heart?  father builds:  first a city,  and then a country,  spinning webs like a spider hunting for its prey.  a family,  poised to intercept where best he needs them  (  but  you  know:  lust and sloth,  greed and envy,  gluttony and wrath       you  are firstborn  /  best born  /  best beloved.  you  know father’s heart,  and father’s plans.  you  don’t watch the human world with covetous gaze;  you  will never feel at ease with those  beneath you.  )

iii.  the divine pulled to earth.  a hundred lifetimes in your human cage       the spite you feel can only  grow.  each night,  you swallow up the shadows of a country  (  built on the bones of sacrifice,  unaware that soon their turn will come  ):  you watch.  best loved,  better than the son who turns his  BACK  on godhood;  best loved,  more  loyal  than the children who forget their places.  father counts on  you  for his success,  and why should he not?  you are  first born  /  best loved  /  most high.  poised as the right-hand of god,  the most  devout.  you can suffer the indignity of  human touch  for that,  can’t you?  

perhaps you’ll learn.  you meet a woman beloved of the incarnation of  wrath       fury and rage,  tempered by her ever-nurturing  SMILE.  she offers out her hand to you;  in a voice like summer’s sun,  she tells you to call her  mother.  it’s laughable:  you bite back the desire to spit  venom  in her face,  fingers curling  ‘round her own as if it  PLEASES  you to smile like a simpleton.  idly,  you wonder:  just how far can i push,  before she breaks?  and you answer:  doesn’t matter.  they always break.  

iv.  the first strike.  EDWARD ELRIC:  foolish  /  feckless  /  fate-defying arrogance soaring high on  wax wings.  you carve him out a place,  and he sees fit to  DENY  it.  his talent is matched only by the hubris that saw him challenge  (  truth  /  death  /  god himself?  )       it doesn’t matter.  you bare your teeth and sink your fangs into his iron-blood;  seek to drag him down to earth,  where he  belongs.  he sees within you everything he holds in contempt;  you,  for your part,  see only hollow victory,  snatching at the crumbs of triumph before the curtain falls.  he cannot break you;  he cannot make you  bend.  you are the reflection of his dearest sin:  the pride that tore his brother from his body  (  what is the price of a human soul?  only an arm and a leg,  after all.  )   the end is drawing near.

v.  your hollow crown is broken.   “you are my firstborn,”  father told you       cutting you from his own cloth  (  the truth,  divinely held in your own hands!  )  “my first and best creation.”  your siblings fall and falter:  they turn traitor,  abandon hope,  and die,  as wretched humans       but not you!  you covet only what he promised you:  the chance to live  fully  in your hubris,  upon the throne pulled from heaven.  you crave only what was promised:  the culmination of your very pride!  and as you crumble,  fragment       as your life bleeds away in shadowed masses  /  screaming souls that fight for their escape,  you hold on to that hope.  you are not broken:  you are not  BEATEN!  

except       your godlike power,  your immortal craving:  in the time it takes to watch your father abandon you,  the truth becomes material.  firstborn,  last sacrificed.  best loved,  but soon forgotten.  father ascends;  you are left behind.  alone,  to face the sudden horror of  MORTALITY;  to know that you have made a wreath of despair,  and now the time has come to wear it.  you cry out       and edward elric  (  soaring ever  higher  on wings that defy god  )  pulls you from the ruin of your arrogance,  and delivers you again.

vi.  what wounds will heal.  your mother holds a broken bird in her gentle hands:  you know that others would abandon such a creature to its fate.  instead,  she closes soft her grip around it       promises that soon,  it’ll learn to  FLY  again.  her gaze is warm;  her eyes are honest.  summer blooms in the warmth of her words,  but her spine is made of steel  (  how else,  you wonder,  could she summon up the will to hold you,  when all the world thinks to see a  shadow  in your eyes?  )  “you are my son,”  she tells you:  hand in hand,  she never lets you stumble.  “and i love you.  i’ll love you,  no matter what.  and i’ll never let you go.”  

                 and you are  home.

[dat-town]

Destined to fall | postlude [END]

Characters: Taehyung & You

Setting: fallen angel au, reincarnation au, historical au

Genre: angst

Warnings: character death

Summary: Your love story is a tragedy written with blood throughout the centuries.

Words: 2k

Chapter index

They say you don’t see love coming because you don’t find love but love finds you.

Taehyung loved you more than anything and you were his for the time being. More than once and it was enough, he decided. It had to be enough. He wanted you to have a chance for true happiness without his love weighing you down. After all he made you suffer through, after all the times he watched you die, he was ready to go first. But he couldn’t let go without saying goodbye on his own.

The Sun painted the streets bright yellow with splashes of gold like any other day. Just another working day for you and Taehyung’s last chance to redeem himself. You had promised to love him more but he wasn’t going to find out whether it was true or not.

As you walked out of the gate of your apartment complex, hurriedly pulling your coat onto your shoulders, phone in hand fumbling with earphones, Taehyung smiled as he watched you. You were as beautiful as ever. In his eyes, no flaw, no skin colour or figure mattered. He loved you unconditionally, for that precious soul of yours, loving and kind against all the pain you had endured.

He had repeated the same routine for over a week now. Watching you from afar, following you into coffee shops, on the metro and searching for the right time to talk to you. He had never had a problem with that before because he had always hoped for another chance to keep you by his side. Now he felt like a creep when he took a sharp right turn after you at the next corner.

What he couldn't foresee was your unpredictability, the way you turned on your heels, running back to your apartment for something you had left there, you pretty forgetful thing. However, with the intense force you ran into him knocked both of you a bit back. You grabbed on his shirt to steady yourself but as soon as you realized what you had done, you pulled back your hands from the stranger’s clothed chest as if he burnt you while blinking rapidly in your surprise.

"Ah sorry, sir," you apologized profoundly right away and just as you were about to go back on your way, forgetting this incident right after, Taehyung had to stop you. It was now or never because Taehyung was a weak, weak man and if he didn’t do it now, maybe he would never have the willpower in him to tell you those words that crawled up in his throat.

“Hi Y/N,” he greeted you with a gentle almost smile on his eternal face that halted your movements.

“Uhm sorry... Do we know each other?” you clutched onto your bag, doe eyes wide and innocent as you glanced up to his face, to scan through his smooth features, the sharp edges of his jawline and that carmine red of his pushed back hair. He was beyond handsome, he looked like somebody from the movies, Hollywood's recent favourite and a heartthrob. But oh the sincerity of his eyes, it wasn't acting, there were so many emotions swimming in his caramel orbs. Like he had so many things to say and it made you feel uneasy. Was he a long-lost relative or a forgotten childhood sweetheart?

He shook his head, a laugh hanging off from his mouth, crinkles appearing around his eyes. He seemed amused by your confusion or maybe an old memory replayed in his mind. You had no idea how to react, what to say or do, and you needed to go back for your bus pass you left on the kitchen table or otherwise you would be very, very late from work.

“You may not remember me but I know you," finally the stranger spoke up in a light, tentative voice, almost as if he was afraid of scaring you. He didn't seem intimidating but a little bit odd for sure, like a flaw in the well-done machine, the perfection in this imperfect world.

The man's right hand sank into his coat's pocket to fish out something while he put his weight onto the cane in his left. Such a weird sight, a walking tool for a young man like him! And the black winged angel figure as its handle was even weirder.

"I have something to give to you," he added and very tentatively he dropped a golden ring into your palm. He made sure not to touch you and his was the softest plea you had ever heard. "Please take care of it and be happy for me.”

You just stared at the accessory glinting prettily in your hand and you wondered how the metal's touch on your skin could feel so cold but so warm at the same time?

“What... I don’t understand. I can't take it,” you protested but it was all in vain,  the man didn’t let you give him back the expensive-looking band.

Taehyung was staring at you hard, engraving even your smallest details, like the moles under your eyes, into his memory and he shook his head.

“You don’t have to understand,” he said with a faint smile, intertwining his fingers behind his back, “Goodbye, Y/N. I love you, forever and ever.”

You blinked in utter confusion and watched as the handsome man limped away without a word after such a confession. You literally needed to shake yourself awake to move on with your day.

Soon, you forgot about this strange encounter, writing it off as a drunk person mistaken you for someone else. For the longest time, the ring was covered in dust in your drawer and you couldn’t remember anymore how you had gotten it. You wore it often because you liked how simple but pretty it was. You had it on almost always because for the weirdest reasons, it helped to fill that aching void in your chest that just hurt and hurt sometimes. It was like missing something you couldn’t even put your finger on.

A few years later, you fell in love with an English major recreating the most cliché love story about meeting through mutual friends. The two of you moved in together after your university graduations, he proposed on your third anniversary and you echoed I dos a year later. You fought, you made up, and you were the couple everyone envied among your friends. When you were ready to start a family, you both cried in happiness when the pregnancy test came out positive and fast forward eight months, you gave birth to a healthy baby boy.

You named him Taehyung and loved him endlessly.

Taehyung might have been Lucifer once who became the first and most feared fallen. He might have had power no other cast out angel could have ever imagined but he wasn't almighty. He couldn't defy the laws of fate and the eternal order. He tried to deny God and his teachings, he tried to form the world to his image. It worked, to a certain extent, the doubts and fears of this Earth resembled the chaos in his heart. But there were some things he couldn't change, truth carved into rocks and stones. He tried so hard to create a happy ending for you but now he realized it was impossible if he always came back to you.

According to Seokjin, it was your destiny to be sacrificed for the greater good. That's why you died so many painful and brutal deaths, because it was merely history repeating itself in various shapes and forms. He saved you from one death but he couldn't save you anymore. Fate was ruthless and it demanded back what it was taken away: you. It couldn't be cheated but now, Taehyung was ready to strike a deal.

He wore a long black robe similar to his casual uniform back in Silla when he first came here. He barely batted an eye at the breathtaking scenery seen from the temple he had been in. From this hill, he could almost see the entirety of Seoul, the lively and advanced neo-tech capital city of Korea. He looked at the neon lights, the moon shining from above and he thought: there are worse ways to go. A lot worse.

So he stood there where everything began and taking a deep breath, he waited, finally ready. With his eyes closed, it looked like he was praying, asking God to keep his word. Then he heard the rustling of wings from above, the signs of Seokjin’s arrival. When he turned his head around, the angel sported his usual calm face in white suit attire. White might have been the colour of purity and heaven, but in some cultures, it was the colour of funerals and grief and Taehyung would have liked to think the elder archangel would at least miss him a bit. Since angels couldn't pass the gates of Hell and Taehyung was for sure on his way to the dump of that torturous place, they wouldn’t be able to see each other in the future.

After what happened with Azazel, Taehyung wanted to make sure, the kingdom he built up so cautiously won't fall back down and crumble as soon as he was gone, so he spent the last decades training his successor, one of his most intelligent and loyal demons. He trusted him not to let chaos burn down the world and keep those gates strictly closed. There was only one thing left to do.

“Will you look after her when I’m gone?” he asked hopeful and pride thrown away. The black abyss of his eyes glinted with unsaid worries and the sudden helplessness knocked the air out of his lungs.

“I will,” the angel nodded and he wasn’t the kind to break his promises. Taehyung could be sure he left you in good hands.

“You have been a great friend, Seokjin,” he said quietly, as his last confession. If he could have felt even more guilt, he would have said sorry for being so bad at reciprocating the sentiment but he hoped the elder angel knew that he appreciated his loyalty that stayed strong both to him and the heavens.

“You are welcome, Our Brightest. Rest in peace,” Seokjin whispered, his lovely voice turning into sorrowful as he pulled out an angel blade that shone brightly under the moonlight.

Taehyung closed his eyes, gritted his teeth and braced himself for what was coming. Just as he asked all those years ago when they agreed to end this, Seokjin pierced through the fallen one’s heart in one swift movement. The agony was nothing like he experienced before, at least not in a physical way. It felt similar to losing you again and again. He even saw your fading smile before everything went black. When he fell onto his knees, blood dripping off the blade, it finally ended where it began. Where it should have ended all along.

If you asked now, in that mellifluous voice of yours, curious and timid as always, how many? he would tell you: just one, myself. And as he took the last, painless breath on this Earth, looking at the brightest stars on the night sky, somehow it felt like the right answer.

Being as old as human history, he left nothing but dust behind and yet, it was said that a single red rose would bloom every following spring on the exact spot he bled. Because no matter what anybody said, Lucifer or Taehyung, whatever he preferred to be called, wasn’t evil. Unlike other fallen angels, he didn’t leave his sacred life because of greed or thirst for power. He did it for love, the most powerful force in the universe.

Did the world change when Devil died? you could ask and Seokjin would tell you: yes, it lost a lovesick soul and the sky earned another bright star forever watching over you.

THE END.

I sincerely thank you every single one of you who made it here. I hope you are not disappointed (too much) and enjoyed reading this as much one could bear so much angst. I offer tissues and hugs.

This story basically revolved around Taehyung’s character development. In the first version of the story, he made a demon out of the OC which - I think - would have been a terrible moral decision both on his and my part. So in this final version, he learned to be selfless and who knows, maybe God also thought they deserve a happy ending after everything he put them through (or was it all Taehyung?) Anyway, Taehyung might also reborn as a human, the OC might get a final life and when they meet, neither of them remembers their past. They just fall in love like they were always supposed to be.

If you made it here, I would be delighted to hear your thoughts on the story, any ideas how the story should have ended in your opinion (because I had four different version how the reincarnation ‘curse’ can be broken but none of them was quite happy), your theories about Seokjin (what did he want to achieve all this time?) or you can just call me heartless for making them suffer so much.

Thank you for reading! ♥