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kcrossvine-art · 1 year ago

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haiiii dungeon delvers! This is a quick one, gratefully both the materials and the dish-type are very close to their real life inspiration :D

As we speak, my favorite catgirl bestfolk is getting introduced to the anime and you haven no idea how much self control its taken to not immediately jump forward to be in sync with her, but theres SO many good recipes before we get there!!!

We will be making a Mandrake and Basilisk Omelet today!

(As always you can find the cooking instructions and full ingredient list under the break-)

MY NAMES CROSS NOW LETS COOK LIKE ANIMALS

SO, “what goes into a Mandrake and Basilisk Omelet?” YOU MIGHT ASKIts made from the egg of a basilisk, which isnt a large chicken egg but instead a large snake egg. Oblong shape, soft leather texture, and no eggwhites just yolk.

A large daikon

½ lbs fatty bacon

Shallots

Garlic

Chicken eggs

Salt

Pepper

Arugula (for garnishing)

OPTIONAL; ketchup/hot sauce :)

You could try cooking this using actual snake eggs, but theyre hard to come by and reportedly quite bland compared to chicken eggs. I tried getting my hands on an ostrich egg for the pizzaz of it all. The zoo lady was kind in her dismissal.

AND, “what does a Mandrake and Basilisk Omelet taste like?” YOU MIGHT ASKOmelettes are standard fair but here we cook them like a french omelette and wrap it up like a burrito at the end.

Wetter eggs than im used to ( <- american)

Daikon and bacon r very tasty together

They end up having the same texture almost

Intensely savory. Heavy on the tummy

Chopped green onions would bring more levity to the filling

Ketchup pairs well

(but i prefer medium hot sauce)

Dark coffee pairs well

The acidity of the above 3 is what makes them work with this nutrient Dense dish

. In the show, decapitated mandrakes are more bitter than mandrakes left 'whole'. If you want that difference, using sweet/sour sauce on some of the daikon while it cooks will make the non-sauced daikon seem bitter by comparison. . Maybe ferment daikon too? . Adding a small amount of water with the bacon transfers the heat evenly, a small amount as to cook off before the fat/grease renders. Could also try cooking in the oven.

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"Consisting of a fluffy Basilisk egg omelet filled with minced Basilisk bacon and mandrake.If the mandrake used was killed with its 'head' still attached, it will be less bitter and more mellow" This dish is important as it marks the beginning of Senshi and Marcilles bonding, and the lead-up gives us our first glance into the school Falin and Marcille met at. Objectively the recipe is basic but it was challenging to write out.

Omelette making is muscle-memory, so having to learn the french variation and slow down felt like trying to ride a bike side-saddled.

It took about an hour and a half from laying out the ingredients, to eating the finished thing. I had to take a break in the middle of cutting veggies as my wrists are flaring up, so you could probably go faster unimpeded.

What would you rate this recipe out of 10?(with 1 being food that makes one physically sick and 10 being food that gives one a lust for life again.) Did you love it, did you hate it? What're your thoughts on what I could do different, and what would you have done instead?

🐁 ORIGINAL RESIPPY TEXT BELOW 🐁

Ingredients:

1 large daikon, chopped

½ lbs fatty bacon, chopped

2 shallots

3 cloves of garlic

3 Eggs

Salt

Pepper

Some arugula (for garnishing)

OPTIONAL; ketchup/hot sauce :)

Method:

Chop your bacon into roughly ½ inch squares. Cut off the ends of your daikon and cube the rest. Thinly dice your shallots and crush your garlic cloves.

Bring a cast iron skillet to medium-high heat. Once at temp, carefully add your chopped bacon to the pan with a very small amount of water.

Add your chopped bacon and stir-fry until almost cooked.

Add your shallots and garlic. Cook for about a minute or until the shallots have softened.

Transfer the bacon, shallot, and garlic mix to a bowl. Set aside. Lower the cast iron skillet to medium heat.

Place your daikon cubes in the cast iron skillet, you should still have enough bacon grease. Add salt and cook until lightly browned on each side.

Add roughly 1 tablespoon of water. Lower heat and cover. Simmer for 2 minutes.

Once your daikon are softened, transfer to same bowl containing your bacon, shallots, and garlic.

Crack your eggs into a seperate bowl and whisk for 2 minutes until 'frothy' with no egg whites visible.

Bring the cast iron skillet back up to medium heat. There might not be enough bacon grease left, so feel free to add butter! If the butter browns you've gone too hot.

Pour your eggs into the skillet. Use a spatula to spread the eggs, scraping down the sides of the pan. Sprinkle salt and pepper in, to taste.

Once your eggs are mostly solid, pour the bacon, shallot, garlic, and daikon filling into the center. If it starts to separate- stop touching and let it rest. Gently fold the edges of the omelette overtop the filling.

Lay a few pieces of arugula on a plate, and flip your omelette onto it :) enjoy!

#dungeon meshi #food recipes #dunmeshi #delicious in dungeon #digital art

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geddyqueer · 2 days ago

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wip wednesday :)

good morning. here's a scene from my 8x11 fix it "no crying in baseball" which i'm really trying hard to finish before 8x15 drops lmfao. not sure who has a wip going at the moment so i am throwing a bunch of penne noodle tags at the wall: @setmeatopthepyre @screamlet @chamacafeahorrible @r-o-s-e-f-i-r-e @beanarie @trombonechurchill and YOU [menacing glare].

They work on throwing. They work on catching. They work on sprinting and sliding and getting out of each others' way. They have batting practice and he convinces Kaylee to do a demonstration on following the ball.

"Okay, girls," he says at the second practice, and one of them pipes up, "We're not all girls, Coach."

"Oh," he says, looking around at them. "Uh, people?"

They shrug.

"Players" is written off as boring; "comrades" goes over most of their heads. "How about Scorpions," he says, and they holler and cheer and throw their gloves in the air.

"Alright, Scorpions, get working on your sprints," he says, and the cheers turn to groans, but it's fine.

Some days Tracy joins him at the field, with a cooler full of juice boxes and orange slices and animal crackers. Some days it's one of Tayla's dads, Marc, a dentist who looks a lot more uptight than he is. Some days it's Rae-Anne's step?mother?—Tommy's really not sure how anyone in that family is related, but he's not judging. Lucy even comes back for another afternoon when all the parents are busy.

Unluckily for him it's the day after they ran into Evan on a call, loading a patient into the air ambulance and stepping back and almost tripping over the guy, Evan's eyes wide as he scanned Tommy's face and clocked the still-lingering bruise.

"Tommy," Evan said, Hen on his other side jumping to attention, "are you okay?"

"Christ, Buck, leave him alone, we're at work," Lucy snapped, and that was enough to make Evan deflate entirely. He stumbled backwards and Hen guided him away from the helicopter before Tommy could fire it up and decapitate himself and everyone in the vicinity so he never had to have this conversation again.

"I mean, don't get me wrong, he's a great guy," Lucy says from her ever-present camp chair the next day. "But he's such a bull in a china shop with relationships."

That's not true, Tommy thinks; Evan may have been clumsy, but it was Tommy who had placed his own heart inside the thinnest, most fragile glass case. It was Tommy who had unscrewed one of the legs holding it up. It was Tommy who had handed over a baseball bat and allowed Evan to go wild.

"Well?" Lucy asks, and Tommy sighs.

"He's kind. He's funny. Curious. A really good friend. Caring and empathetic and gentle and he's going to make a really good d—"

He cuts himself off, feeling strangled, feeling breathless, and Lucy's eyes go wide as she realizes what he was going to say, and she waves him away, sends him down the hill to the pond to clear his head and get his breath back and he can hear her behind him clapping her hands, calling "Hey, Scorpions, let's do some stretches! Coach is fine, he just needed to take a call, okay, let's go," and he's so grateful nobody but the tadpoles and the ducks in this pond have to witness him breaking down over the fact that he thought Evan was going to be the one to finally give him a family.

#i dont think this is long enough to need a read more but i might change my mind in thirty seconds #bucktommy #no crying in baseball #my fic

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maximumzombiecreator · 8 months ago

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I would actually like to know what you consider the basics of improv to be! If nothing else, you phrase these things really well and in ways I haven't heard before, and I'm also aware there's a lot of things I don't know (I'm in a student run college improv group, our theory might be a bit lacking)

Be glad to. A lot of improv stuff is just oral tradition at this point, passed down in musty school drama rooms and community centers, so everyone has to pick it up somewhere. When I've taught people before, beyond the basic definition of what an improv scene looks like, I usually focus on a set of do's and don'ts.

Do's:

Make offers, and make them good offers. A good offer should be strong and elegant, like a power lifter in a ball gown.

Broadly speaking, I'd say the strength of an offer refers to how much it establishes about the scene, and how much what it establishes is different from a theoretical "default" scene. Typically, you think about how much an offer is establishing in terms of the questions words: who are the characters, what are they doing, where are they, etc. An offer that establishes "two characters who are old friends since high school meeting up at a coffee shop to catch up" is establishing a lot, but it's still a weak offer because it's such a typical scene. You're not adding much that can't just be taken for granted.

When I say a good offer should be elegant, I mean that it should be as compact as possible while still doing a lot. The typical inelegant offer is verbose and unnatural. A character walks into a scene and says, "Hey, big brother Billy, I hope you're recovering from the illness you've had for the last six months, ever since our father died," or some other expository nightmare.

So, the best offers are both. They create a lot of unique, interesting details about the scene, and they do it quickly. Let's say you stagger into the scene, miming carrying something under your arm, and say, "Doctor! I've been decapitated again!" In five words, you've established who you and another character are, where you are, and why, and you've implied a lot of very unusual details about the scene, world, and your character's history.

When thinking about elegant offers, it's also worth noting that a lot of offers that you should be making are physical. Depending on the type of improv you're doing, you might be physically embodying objects and the environment, and if you're doing background like that you can add a ton of detail that the audience can pick up without friction. But even if you're not, you can establish location through miming actions, you can create details about your character through how you walk and hold your body, you can endow others with traits through how you physically react to them.

That brings us to the next do: make strong character choices and enhance other actors' characters. People have written whole books on what comprises a "strong character" but for improv purposes I'd focus on three details: quirks, status, and connections.

Quirks are fairly straightforward: what makes this character unusual? Establishing character quirks is the focus of a lot of improv games and exercises, and the best quirks are quick to establish, significantly inform the character, and are handled with enough sincerity to make the character compelling rather than only funny.

Status refers to how powerful and important a character is. High status characters will command the room, low status characters will be ignored or mistreated. Status might shift over the course of a scene. The sheriff is a high status character until the king shows up, for example. Status might seem like an obvious thing to figure out from a character's role, but it's useful to play with it. What does a low status king look like? What does an employee-boss scene look like if you decide your employee is higher status than the boss?

Connections refer to the relationships between characters. This is going to drive scenes more than most other character details, and you almost always want to avoid unconnected characters. Choosing a connection to an existing character is a very good first choice when entering a scene, as it should immediately suggest a direction for the scene to take. This is also a reason to favour unusual connections. If two actors are in a scene where they're arguing about a fender bender they've been in, you could choose to enter as one of their friends, but it'll be far more dynamic if you choose a more unusual connection. What if you're one of their anger management therapists? Their boss? Their dominatrix?

In addition to creating your own character, you should add to other actors' characters. The main way you do this is endowment, giving the character traits through your offers. Direct endowment is when you simply ascribe them a trait. If you say, "Bill, you've been mayor for the last ten years," then you're obviously giving them the trait of "mayor." But there's also indirect endowment, where you add something to a character through part of how you react to them. If you flinch when another character moves suddenly, you're endowing them with the traits of being dangerous and erratic. If you speak to them very slowly and simply, you're implying something about how intelligent your character perceives them to be.

Putting it all together, the last big thing to do is build up. There can be a temptation in improv to build out, to add new details to scenes that sort of sprawl outward from the original premise. Try to avoid that. When you add new details, make them ones that build on the existing details. Instead of adding new tensions or conflicts, raise the stakes of existing ones. Reincorporate and re-contextualize things that have already been established. Incorporate audience suggestions repeatedly, using them to colour other offers.

Don'ts:

No blocking. This is the one even people who don't know improv know. If someone adds something to the scene, go with it. Don't reject or ignore offers, incorporate and build on them.

No wimping. Whatever the scene is, whatever your character is, whatever offers are made, fully commit. Bring all your energy to it. If someone says your character is on fire, don't just stop, drop, and roll and then go back to whatever else was going on. That's wimping. Be the most on fire that you can be.

No dithering. When you're in a scene, always be adding to it or moving it forward. Saying something that just fills space, at best makes a joke, and doesn't add to the scene is bad form, it doesn't give other actors anything new to work with. If you're dithering, you're forcing other actors to pick up the slack. This is called "gagging" if you're being funny by not adding to the scene, and is a great way to be popular with the audience and have everyone else hate you, don't be that person.

Don't make yourself look good at the expense of your scene partners. It's okay to get laughs at the expense of other characters, but not at the expense of other actors. Help others get into the scene, develop their characters, and give them things to respond to, add onto their offers.

Related to the above, don't steal the spotlight. If there's a scene going on that you're not the focus of, you should be trying to figure out how to enhance what's going on. Everyone can tell when an actor can't bear to be in a supporting role, and it's not a cute look.

More than anything, don't betray the trust of other performers. All theatre requires trust, but improv requires so much trust. If you lose that trust, you're done, you've got nothing.

#ask #improv

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simpingforbots · 6 months ago

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I really love your transformers series about a human being on cybertron. Kinda wondering if they ever met a human, so this little organic is just a very, very, VERY, smart rat. Anyway, I was wondering if you could make a part 4? It's ok if not.

Was hoping if you could do Alpha Trion, Shockwave, and Soundwave? Maybe even maegatronus Prime for D-13?

Don't do this request if you are busy, don't want to, or sick. I can wait a few months and years.

Have a good day/evening!!!!!!!

thank you so much.

sadly this is a human we are talking about as Transformers One yet to learn that humans are actually sentient and to learn English, and so is human. their language sounds like a clicks, whirls and other metallic noises. So it's more like figuring out by their body language and repetitive noises they make. like a certain noise thay make at you means its your name. they can see you are smart and if you were to be given buttons with certain sounds like in one video you would be able to communicate. so yes they know you are smart, just not realizing that you are THIS smart to be actually considered a sentient.

What if human ended up in transformers one

part 4

Alpha Trion

Alpha Triton, being one of 13 primes, was one of a few son's of Cybertron that realised you were more then just some organic. HE found you during one of Quintessons attacks, with your space ship being an unfortunate target to their fire. out of all your crew you were the last.

he decided it will be best for your own good to keep you by him self and try to establish some kind of contact and maybe even learn where you are from and what planet is your home. so safe to say it was not an easy task and with you being small week and made out of flesh - you quickly become something every Prime grew soft on. you were pampered with pets, soft coos and nice flesh food they could find on surface. he kept you close by, and did his best to keep away from Sentinel as he could see something dark in his eyes and fake smiles. other Primes seemed to trust the kid for some reason and Triton just decided to keep you close to him self. you did protest at first, being manhandled and treated like a some kind of pet. but soon you got used to it and even felt comfort in hand of a huge cat. You also distrusted Sentinel and just tried to avoid him. you enjoyed your life as much as you could until Sentinel lead all primes in to trap. Triton did his best to keep you out of harms way and fight, but he can only do so much. in the end he had to watch you fall and killed by Sentinel, before he was hurt. what he did not expect as to still be alive after all those years and when Pax woke him up, he saw what was left of you - just a pile of bones, near his body, you probably crawled towards him on his last breath and passed away by him. he wished he couldv'e done more, but now he need to do is give this new generation a fighting chance. though when he is captured and was decapitated, he was a bit relieved to see that Prime deemed you worthy enough to joing their after life.

Shockwave

Shockwave probably would see you as something more interesting that anything on cybertron. And before he would become the mad scientist we know of him now, before Megatron, he would 100 percent would run more safe, though still hurtful, experiments. And mostly because of lack of equipment. He would find you as your ship crashed not far from the hideout, and you only one who survived. He observed you from a far at first, trying to understand just what you are. Some strange organic life matter, super fragile and somehow very-very resilient. He observed from afar, keeping tabs and even running his own little experiment - he would find some edible fruits and place them near cave you were hiding in. He watched as you at first was warry, not knowing if you could eat it, but after time you sort of relaxed around food suddenly appearing on your "door". Then Shockwave moved on to next step. Instead of hiding he kept the distance so that you could see him. Of course first time you hid in your cave that was to small for his servo, but with prolong exposure he was even able to get closer and closer. Even one time you came close to him, watching him with curiosity in return. HE reached out with his only servo poking at your head and you touched his finger. After some time he was sure you won't mind if he brings you with him to show to Soundwave. HE was very proud of his little study! So he decided to "study" you more. You were poked, probed and measured in all sort of ways, without your consent and you protested every test he had done. by the end of all the experiments he would keep you on his shoulder, proudly showing you off to other High guards and proud with his experiments. you just wish to go back to your cave and wait for rescue ship to arrive to pick you up. What you had no idea is that Shockwave knew about the signal and already took care of it, stomping it to the ground and making sure that the signal would come of as false. so you are stuck for his intertaiment.

Soundwave

Soundwave would probably find out about you through Shockwave when he was tagged along to observe you. Soundwave was bored at first, but after some time he would come to your hide out without Shockwave, just observing you. You tinkered with some machine, clearly trying to get of this planet by sending some signal. he did not wanted this to happen as YOU were the only intertaiment here for now and kept Shockwave from dying from boredom. you did not even had a chance to properly scream when you were kidnaped by the bot and brought to High Guards and you sort of become a mascot for them. Every other bot found you entertaining, a bright light of hope to lift the gloom. Shockwave was a bit happy as well as he could run his experiments more closer. Soundwave how ever kept you close, not letting you out of his sigh because of what you were. you did not had anything to protect your fragile flesh body and easily got hurt by ether "walking" in to think, stumbling, tripping and falling on a flat surface. YOU are NOT allowed any where outside the fortress at all. Sleep? you thought you will be able to have a moment of solidarity at such moment? Forget it - your recharging place is in his chest so that Soundwave won't have to worry about you sneaking of while he rests. And Soundwave wiling to go to such lengths as to wrap a chain around your body and keep you close, as scaning your head is a bit more troublesome as the reading always come "wrong" and it's just easier to keep you closer then to know what you wanted to do. Food? you can scavenge for it only when HE brought you out and you better to gather enough to last you for weeks. so yeah. have fun with overbearing bot.

part 1 part 2 part 3

#transformers one #transformers x reader #transformers #shockwave #lock shock and barrel #soundwave #alpha trion #answered #death mention #transformers x human

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jaredpadonlyyyy · 8 months ago

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FUCK ME, SLOWLY

SMUT , SMUTTY, SMUT

D. WINCHESTER x Y/N

Warning: P IN V, FEMALE AND MALE ORAL, UNPROTECTED SEX (wrap it up!)

Dean and Sam had been on a hunt about vampires and what not. Y/n is a 34 year old mother whose husband died 3 years ago. And some agents had come to her home to ask her questions about the kidnapping of her friend/ co-worker. Since she’s been missing for a few days now. “I’m sorry, agent. I haven’t seen her since the last time I worked with her.” She told them. “Was she acting strange, you know before she was kidnapped?” The handsome man with the dirty blonde hair asked her as she shook her head. “No, she was normal as always. Always upbeat, and very outgoing.” She told him.

“Do you know if she’ll be okay?” She asked him as he sighed. “We’ll let you know as soon as we know.” He told her and she nodded her head. “Okay, Mrs. Y/ L/N. That would be all.” The taller one told her as she stood up to walk them out the door. “Thank you so much agents, please inform me when you find her.” She told them as the shorter one nodded at her as he gave her a kind smile as they both walked out her home. Y/ N was kind of scared because of the fact that all the girls that were getting kidnapped fitted her description. But she had no other choice to go to work. It’s how she kept a shelter over her daughter’s head. She sighed and she got ready to go to work.

So, after she dropped off Serena off with the babysitter off she went to work. Y/N was walking to the diner she worked in and suddenly she was hit behind her head making her completely blackout.

Y/N woke up with a gasp as she looked around the place she was in. She was in an abandoned barn. “Hello?” She called out as she groaned trying to touch the back of her head but found out she was tied up. “What the hell?” She whispered and she was trying to get out of the ropes. “Hello, beautiful.” A voice said making her head snap up to the new voice. “Who the fuck are you?” She asked as her body shook. She was so scared. “You, my love.” The man said as he walked over to her. “Are dinner.” He said.

“No.” She whimpered as she tried harder to get out of the restraints she was in. “Let me go!” She said to the man as she wiggled her body. “No can do.” He said to her as she cried out. “Please, someone help!” She yelled but the man just laughed at her attempt for help. “No one can hear you.” He told her smirking.

“Think again, blood sucker.” Said a familiar deep voice from behind the man. The man didn’t get a chance to turn around when he was decapitated. Y/N gasped in horror and she looked up seeing the agent from earlier. “Agent?” She asked as he walked over to her. She tried backing away in fear but he puts his hands up showing her he was no threat to her. She lets out a cry as he untied her. “That.” He said as he points at the man. “Was a vampire.” He told her as she scoffs in disbelief. “Yeah right.” She told him as she rubs her wrist as she looked at the dead body.

So, he told her everything of the supernatural and she, for some reason believed him. Y/N called her babysitter, seeing it was morning telling her she had to take an extra shift and she told her it was okay, to take her time and not hurry. So, Y/N learned the real names of the men that saved her life. She learned that their names were Sam and Dean Winchester.

They sat on her couch after they took her to pick up her daughter. It was still dark outside and she really needed a drink after the night she had. Sam said he wanted to call it a night and head back to his room. Dean, was about to go with him but Y/N begged him to stay with her as she was scared they would come.

“And so my husband died three years ago and I’ve been alone since.” She slurred buzzed. She knew Serena won’t wake up until later in the morning so, a few drinks didn’t hurt anybody. If Y/N was being honest. She felt so lonely and in need to blow off some steam. She looked over at Dean and he looked back at her. Dean, had been in purgatory for a year. Hasn’t been with anyone in over a year and since he got back. And he wouldn’t deny Y/N if she wanted him. She was beautiful, and very single at that.

Y/N got up from the couch and went to go sit down next to Dean. His forest green eyes not leaning her eyes. “I feel so lonely.” She said as he just looked at her. Y/N started to unbutton her uniform knowing she didn’t have a bra over her uniform. She never wore one. She didn’t like them. Her chest popped out and his eyes looked at her hardened nipples as she stood up. She shook off her uniform letting it fall to the floor of her living room, leaving her in only in her pink thong. She pulled off her thong throwing it to the side as Dean quietly watched her as he started to get a hard one as he looked at the beautiful woman.

His hand went over to his pants pushing down his boner, groaning as she turns around, bending down giving him a view of her glistening pussy. “Beautiful.” Dean whispered as she looked back standing back up with her uniform in her hands throwing it to the side. Dean, grabbed her hand and immediately pulled her onto his lap. Crashing each other’s lips against one another as she pants rolling her hips trying to relief some pressure she felt between her legs as she kissed the man. Dean hugged her waist and laid her on the couch pulling away from the kiss as he stood up getting fully undressed. He pulled down his boxer shorts making his dick pop straight up making her hum at his size. Dean, leaned back down kissing her neck and down to the valley of her chest and to her nipples. But she pulled him back. “I still breastfeed.” She said panting as he nods his head and kisses down her stomach his face ending in between legs.

Dean spreads her folds getting a view of how wet and pink her pussy was. His pointer finger circling her clit making her gasp in pure pleasure as her back arched. It’s been way too long since she’s had any type of pleasure. “Ah, fuck.” She whispered quivering as he played with her clit. Her legs over his shoulder as they shook. Y/N moaned louder as she felt his tongue on her clit flickering his tongue making her a mess.

Deans fingers entered her tight pussy making her let out a silent scream as he started fingering her in and out, in and out. His fingers curling on her G-spot. Her back arched her legs spreading even wider as her jaw dropped open, her eyes rolled to the back of her head as she finally lets out a long loud moan. “Aaahh!” She shook, her whole body shaking so intensely as she hasn’t orgasmed in 3 years after her husband died.

“God! Fuck, fuck, fuck, oh god!” She yelled as she wrapped her fingers around his hair bringing deeper as she rode out her intense high as Dean just slobbered her pussy, her walls fluttering around his thick long fingers. Finally she slumped on the couch panting as her eyes closed, a satisfied smile on her face as he pulled out his fingers making her gasp.

Dean stood back up, licking his fingers of her orgasm. And then wiped his mouth as it was filled with how much orgasm she left him with around his mouth. “Fuck, that was hot.” Dean said as Y/N looks at his throbbing cock, leaking so much with pre-cum. She could see how turned on he was from how she had released on his face. Y/N sat up getting in front of the standing hunter, coming face to face with the head of his cock. It was so red and begging for some release. Y/N looked up at him as she puts her hands on his hips, and kissed the tip of his cock making him groan softly as it twitched. Y/N puts the tip in her mouth and sucked on it making the hunter let out a moan as his eyes closed. He hasn’t gotten any kind of action since he came out from purgatory so if he came fast, it’s because it’s been a whole damn year.

Dean let’s out a loud moan closing his eyes letting his head fall back as she took him all in and bobbed her head up and down on him making his hips buckle as his hand found her hair tangling his fingers in her hair and bobbed her head making the hunter grunt as he fucked her mouth. “Fuck.” He breathed out as he tries not to release in her mouth as he wanted to fuck her so hard. But it was becoming impossible to do so.

So, he pulled her hair making her let go of his throbbing cock as he panted. “What’s wrong?” She asked him as he looked down at her swollen pink lips. “If I let you continue, I will cum.” He told her as she nods her head understanding. Instead he picked her up from the couch turning her around. He kissed her shoulders making her head tilt to the side to give him more access to her neck as he grazed his teeth on her neck. Chills erupted all over her body at the feeling of his teeth grazing her neck. She could also feel his very hard dick behind her as he rolled his hips

Y/N gasped as Dean bends her down. His cock poking her entrance teasing her as he slides his dick on her folds making her moan. Finally he slowly entered her making them both moan at the pleasure taking over their bodies. “Ah my god!” She moaned. Dean kept filling her all the way as he tightened his grip on her hips as he panted at how tight she felt.

“God, you feel so tight.” He said breathing heavily as she looked back at him. Dean, pulled her up from her hair, her back against his chest. “You can move.” She then whispered as he rolled his hips. “Aah!” She lets out a broken moan as she felt him hit her G-spot. He pulled his cock out, leaving just his head inside and he slammed back inside making Y/N let out a very loud moan as he himself moan against her ear as he did it again and again and again. “Fuck, Dean!” She screamed out as he started to pick up his pace his hips slapping against hers as both of them moaned.

Dean pulled out of her pussy about to try and lay her down but she pushed him down to the floor as she crashed her lips against his in a lustful kiss. And he did not mind. Y/N got on top of Dean pulling away from the kiss. She lifted herself up and grabbed his cock putting it at her entrance and slides down as Dean hissed. Y/N started to roll her hips moaning as her hands went up to her chest her head thrown back as she played with her own nipples making Dean groan seeing the woman enjoying herself on him. She opened her eyes looking into his as she slowly rolls her hips. Dean didn’t mind about the fact that they were taking their time. Nice and slowly, he was really enjoying it. It’s something he has not really enjoyed with a woman ever. She was so damn sexy.

Y/N up from her knees, supporting herself on his chest and started to bounce on him making the hunter whimper as she bounced faster on him his eyes falling close as his hands grabbed her hips, he bends his legs and stared to slam into her at a fast pace. “Don’t stop, don’t stop, fuck! Don’t stop!” She squealed as she started to shake. Dean took that to his advantage and flipped her on her back as she gasped slamming his cock inside of her as her walls tightened around his cock making his head fall onto her neck as her kept on moaning, and grunting. “Aaah!!” Y/N saw white spots as she came around Deans cock her walls fluttering as she shook in pure undeniable pleasure. “God!!” She arched her back.

That made Dean gasped his eyes widening as he lets go. “Aargh!!” Deans cock twitched as he released his seed into her. “Fuck!” The hunter groaned loudly as he slammed his cock hard making her gasp as they ride out their orgasms. Dean slowed down grunting.

He slumped on top of her breathing heavily against her neck as he stayed still inside of her.

He kissed her neck lightly as she hugged him letting their breathing settle and their heart rates slow down from the amazing time they had. “Whew.” Dean said pulling himself up looking down at her as they both smiled. “It’s been a while.” He said as he pulled out making Y/N gasp softly as he rolled over to her side.

“That was amazing” she said as he looked over at her. “Yeah, it was.” He told her smiling.

They both ended up on the couch naked both had fallen asleep cuddled with satisfied smiles on their faces. It’s something Y/N hasn’t felt in 3 years. It’s something that the love of her life used to make her feel, she felt alive, alive for the first time in 3 years.

Y/N slowly opened her eyes a few hours later and still felt the man next to her. His chest rising softly up and down and she looked up seeing him still asleep. She looked over at the time and it was 9 in the morning meaning that Serena wasn’t waking up until another hour. So, Y/N sat up slowly trying not to wake him up getting in between his legs grabbing his soft dick and started pumping it making it get hard.

She puts it in her mouth fully making the hunter gasp awake as he felt her mouth on him making him moan. As he bobbed her head up and down so fast.

Y/N walked Dean over to the door with Serena in her arms. He ate, they fucked two more times and out the door he went refreshed after an amazing night. “You got my number, right?” He asked her as she gave him a smile and a nod as Serena babbled next to her. “Call me.” He told her as she blushed at him.

Smiling she closed the door as she felt more alive than she’s felt in such a long time.

#supernatural #spnfandom #spn #dean winchester #dean winchester x reader #dean winchester x female!reader #dean winchester x y/n #jensen ackles #dean winchester smut #supernatural smut

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lalacliffthorne · 2 years ago

Text

⚔️ I really don't think now's the best time ⚔️

Azriel x Reader

summary: battlefields are really not the right place for important revelations.

notes: like I said, this is totally inspired by that iconic scene in Pirates of the Carribeans. there's a shit ton of fighting involved, so prepare for graphics. if you want to go all in, listen to this specific part of the soundtrack over and over again and the vibes will be immaculate. now go and have fun, kids.

______________________________________________________________

The middle of a battlefield was arguably the worst place for any kind of not remotely expected revelation.

“Why,”, gritting my teeth, I swung my sword and neatly decapitated the huge, wolf-like beast, “do they,”, dodging a blow, I dropped to my knees, whirling through the mud and slicing open another one's belly, “keep,”, I slid to my feet and finished in an angry, “coming?!”

Slashing my sword across a soldier's throat, I turned around. A gust of wind sent a splatter of rain right into my face, strands of soaked hair clinging to my cheeks as I breathed heavily, my gaze darting over the world going to shit around me, my heart rising in my chest as I tried to catch a glimpse at the familiar sight of blue blazing siphons and leathally flowing shadows.

The battlefield was complete and utter chaos. The heavy rain that had set in only shortly after the fighting began had turned the land into one huge muddy puddle, dirt splashing and covering allies and enemies alike. Our defenses were close to being overrun. In the sky, only a few Illyrians were left fighting alongside Gwyn, the only Valkyrie on the northern flank, up against gryphons with talons like iron and blood red eyes. The rest of the Illyrians had taken to the ground, now fighting side by side with the Fae warriors left on foot, but more enemies seemed to just come flooding from the North, like a never ending stream of monstrous beasts and soldiers armed to the teeth.

Something churned in my chest, and I had to fight the surge of dread rising in my chest.

Unless Feyre turned up with reinforcements soon, we were dead.

There was a call of my name, deep and thundering over the sound of battle, and when I slashed my swords over one beast's throat and raised my head, my heart tilted in a wild flutter.

Azriel kicked a soldier back before turning to look at me over his shoulder. His dark hair was soaked by the rain, mud sprinkled over his armor, the sword in his one hand and Truthteller in the other gleaming with blood. His eyes looked wild, but something flashed through them for nothing more than a second when they found mine.

“I need to tell you something!” His deep voice reverberated over the battlefield.

I sent a soldier flying with a kick to the chest and caught another's blade with my crossed ones, yelling back: “I'm a little busy at the moment!”

Slicing my swords down, I dropped to my knees, sliding over the muddy ground and taking down a row of soldiers with blades to the back of their legs before coming back to my feet, and my breath hitched, my heart dropping out of rhythm when Azriel appeared right in front of me from a cloud of shadows, wet hair curling and mud and blood spattered over his face as his eyes darted over my face, wild and almost desperate.

“It can't wait!”, he called.

Breathing heavily, I stared up at him through the rain pelting down, feeling the ache of my sore body wash over me now that I wasn't moving, and my brows furrowed as concern tightened my chest; because I had never seen him so blatantly unguarded and expressive, emotions practically swirling in his eyes.

“What –“

Azriel pushed me back, and I whirled around, deflecting a blow of a soldier coming at me as the shadowsinger rammed his daggers into another one's chest in the place I had just stood, rain running over his face and shadows rising, wrapping around a third soldier's throat.

“I really don't think now's the best time!”, I yelled, the slight absurdity of Azriel of all people deciding he needed to talk in the middle of a battlefield making my voice dip almost comically.

"This might be the only time!” Azriel's deep voice vibrated over my skin, his rough shout audible even over the roar of the rain and the clashing of weapons, and I whirled around, sword flying down on a soldier's neck and sending blood spattering.

A hand closed around my biceps and pulled me back, then I was spun around, and my heart skipped into my throat when Azriel's chest pressed into mine and he dipped his head, his eyes flying over my face as streams of rain ran over his own, and something like desperation flashed through them when he called over the war cries and clashing of weapons: “I –“

His eyes darted up as my instincts flared in warning, and we moved at the same time, his shadows throwing up a wall against a wave of ash arrows as I slid past him and threw one of my swords at the beast, huge and bear-like, leaping at us. The weapon sank into its side, causing it to crash onto the ground, and I whirled around and rammed my other sword into its throat.

“I need you to know –“ Azriel broke off again, dodging a sword and gutting the belonging soldier in one smooth movement, and I landed a kick on another soldier's back.

“Are you sure this can't wait?!”, I yelled back, diving to avoid a blow to the head and rolling off over my shoulder, sliding through the mud and baring my teeth at a beast that growled back before jumping at me, and I dipped and slit it's throat.

Azriel stabbed his daggers into another wolf-like monster, siphons blazing as he beat his wings and a wave of shadows rolled away, drowning a row of soldiers as he turned, and something staggered in my chest at the sight of him; shadows shrouding his tall, lean body and curling around his shoulders, even broader under his black armor as a flash of lightning illuminated his face.

Even caked in dirt and blood, drenched by the heavy rain as drops of water ran from his hair over his cheekbones, he was utterly and annoyingly beautiful.

“Yes!”, he called back, and I whirled around, swords slashing and reflecting another strike of lightning as thunder rolled and I knocked a soldier to the ground. “I need you to know tha–“

There was a snarl, and I dove out of the way, rolling through the mud as a beast crashed into the spot I had been in a mere heartbeat before. I pushed myself up and slammed my swords down into its back with an angry sound, then I raised my head, my heart thrumming and adrenaline rushing through my veines, and my eyes met golden ones, desperate and wild and only hesitant for a second before the chaos vanished, replaced by something else, something deep and worldshaking. Then Azriel's deep voice rumbled over the noise of the battle.

“I love you!”

The world fell still for a moment. Became quiet and stagnant as my heart did one mighty leap.

Then time fell back into place, something staggered in my chest, and my eyes grew wide.

“What?!”

Somehow, I dodged a blow crashing down out of nowhere, parrying another and directing it to the side as I slid my other blade over the soldier's throat, ramming my shoulder into his chest to push him back before turning around wide eyed, and my gaze met another, shining like amber in sunlight.

“You –“

Movement at the corner of my eye made me duck, and I swerved, dropping to my knees and sliding over the muddy ground. Ramming my swords into two soldier's lower regions, I pulled them out and used the momentum to push myself to my feet. Then I whirled around and yelled, disbelief and sheer shock making my voice rise an octave: “You what?!”

A hand closed around my wrist and pulled me forward, and I stumbled into a solid chest, my heart jumping into my throat as my head whipped up and I could feel the sensation of shadows rising behind me and heard swords dropping and a struggle. But it all felt far away, because I could feel Azriel's body press against mine and his eyes were piercing, looking wild and desperate and pained when he called over the noise of the battle, voice rough: “I love you!”

My throat closed as I opened my mouth in shock; Azriel pulled me past him, and I whirled around and parried the blows of a soldier, slicing my swords over his arms before ramming my blades into his chest, then I threw my head around, my wet hair clinging to my face, and Azriel dropped another soldier. For a second, our eyes met, mine wide and completely dumbfounded, then he dodged a blow.

“You –“ I tried to get closer to him but almost got jumped by a huge beast. Shadows wrapped around me and pulled me back, and Azriel slit a soldier's throat before looking back at me, rain running over his face and desperation flashing through his eyes as he yelled: “I had to make sure you knew!“

A war cry made me spin around, and I dodged, swerving the blow of a sword and slashing my own across the soldier's throat, blood spattering as I yelled back in almost comical disbelief: “So you're telling me now?!”

A hand wrapped around my wrist, whirling me out of a beast's reach and right into the way of a sword crashing down, my own blades catching it effortlessly. A familiar scent rose into my nose, distinct even under the smell of blood and dirt, and my heart thrummed into my throat as I pushed, my swords sinking into the soldier's chest, then I spun around, rain dripping over my skin as I stared wide eyed at the male right in front of me. He was so close that I could hear the roughness in his voice even though he didn't shout, one corner of his lips quirking almost helplessly as his eyes dragged over my face like he wanted to ingrain it into his mind when he called hoarsely: “Better late than never.”

My heart skipped into my throat as I stared up at him, and my lips parted, but then Azriel's eyes darted up, and he pulled me out of the way, his sword catching the one of an enemy soldier.

“What –“ I gutted a gigantic wolf, widening my eyes as I threw the shadowsinger a disbelieving look. “How late is late?!” I ducked, swerving the blow of a sword and ramming my own blade into the side of the soldier's neck.

“I couldn't lose you! If you knew -"

"Azriel!" My shout made his head whip around, and I stared at him, breathing heavily, feeling an ache build under my ribs as I widened my eyes desperately. "Since when?!"

"Since the day you stayed up with me for first time!” Azriel dodged a blow. “Probably even before that.” He raised his head, and something rose in my chest when his amber eyes found mine, his voice raspy when he called lightly: “Probably from the moment I met you and everything went silent.” His gaze flickered over my face, and my heart skipped and tumbled at the emotion swirling inside as he added hoarsely: “I think it's always been you.”

My throat closed up, and I kicked a beast to the side and sliced through some soldier's necks.

“What do you mean?”

“I mean that it's you.” Even though Azriel's voice was raised, I could still hear how unsteady it was, raw as the words tumbled from his lips as he called them over the raging battle around us. “From the day I met you, there was something about you that made everything wash away, that made breathing easier, everything easier, even though you drive me insane sometimes! Something that makes me want to be with you, all the time, that makes not being with you fucking ache!” His eyes flickered over mine, chest rising and falling quickly with his heavy breaths as rain streamed over his face, and his throat worked like he was trying not to swallow.

“And it scares the shit out of me, but I don't care anymore!” His rough voice sent shivers down my spine when his amber iris found mine. “You're it.”

Something rose in my chest, fluttering so wildly it felt a little difficult to breathe.

“Why the hell did you never say anything?!”, I yelled in disbelief, and Azriel's jaw shifted as he dodged a blow, slicing the soldier's throat.

“Because I was afraid you didn't feel the same, and I couldn't lose you!”

“What?!” Rain pelted down at me, my soaked armor becoming heavier with every moment, but for a change, I didn't feel any of it. Breathing heavily, I stared at the godsdamned beautiful male, and my heart rose, rose until it was in my throat and the world turned into a tilt.

“Of course I do!”

Azriel's head whipped up, and I kicked a soldier away and slashed his throat before turning around, feeling the words echo through me as I yelled: “I love you too, you idiot!”

As the last syllable left my lips, Azriel stared. Stared as something seemed to rise in his eyes. Then darkness wrapped around him, and he appeared in front of me like formed from shadows. His amber eyes were bright with desperation and something so much deeper, it caused my breath to simply still. Caused my heart to swell and time to slow as he took one last step and slipped his arm around my waist, his scent washing over me in an intoxicating wave, his movements never faltering as he leaned down without an ounce of hesitation, and something shifted in my chest, locking into place with a soundless snap when his lips crashed onto mine in a hard, desperate kiss.

My heart pulsed once. Twice, as something bloomed under my ribs, warm and rising until it thrummed through my whole chest, pulling towards the male pressed against me, body tall and solid and unwavering, and I sucked in a soft, trembling breath.

Oh.

Slowly, Azriel broke the kiss, like he had to force himself to pull back, his nose brushing against mine and causing my heart to miss a step. Then he slowly raised his head, and my breath hitched, gave out completely for a second when I caught the way his iris shifted like amber in golden sunlight, lips parted and gaze piercing mine.

There was a war cry behind me, and Azriel's eyes snapped up, sharpening.

My heart flew, and my instincts kicked in.

Azriel pulled me out of the way with a growl, and I whirled around, swords clashing with two others, blocking their blows as I dropped to my knees and turned, and the blades found their home in the soldier's stomachs. Pulling them out, I raised my head, and my throat closed up when I saw our lines slowly beginning to unravel while the steady stream of beasts and soldiers didn't seem to waver.

My gaze found Azriel, in a cloud of shadows, teeth bared in a snarl and blades flashing in a clash of lightning, rain pelting onto his shoulders, and that feeling in my chest rose until I was sure it had to be visible, like a golden light thrumming under my ribs.

“Azriel!”, I shouted desperately, and he slammed the hilt of his sword onto an enemy soldier's head before turning around, amber eyes finding mine.

My heart tightened almost violently, and before I could stop myself, before even really thinking, I called, my voice a little weak: “Marry me?”

Azriel froze. Stilled on the spot as shadows swirled around him, catching ash arrows and knocking out soldiers, his eyes piercing mine as emotions swirled through them like the storm above.

And suddenly I knew he felt it. Maybe not yet that the bond was vibrating in my chest, thrumming in synch with my racing heart. But that he knew.

Azriel blinked against the rain pouring over his face, and I could see how he suppressed the urge to swallow. Then he shouted, his deep voice causing my heart to flutter: “Gwyn!”

My breath hitched, and Azriel's eyes pierced mine, golden and bare and burning as he yelled: “Marry us!”

“I'm a little occupied right now!”, Gwyn shouted from high above us, cursing as her winged horse barely managed to swerve around a gryphon.

A soldier came at me, and I dodged his blows, sliding my sword over his chest.

“Gwyn!”, I yelled, my voice breaking, and somehow, she must've heard it over the noise and chaos, because she yelled back, only halfheartedly annoyed: “Fine! If I fall, it's your fault!”

I landed a kick on the soldier's chest and sent him flying backwards, then I turned around, and Azriel was there, his hand wrapping tightly around my wrist as he pulled me forward until we were chest to chest, and that golden thrum in my chest soared at the way his eyes pierced mine.

“Dearly beloved,”, Gwyn yelled over the roar of thunder, “we've gathered here today to pull every single one of your feathers, you miserable excuse of a bird!”

There was an irritated screech followed by a scuffle high over our heads, and Azriel pushed me back as two enemy soldiers came at us with swords drawn. Swinging around, I sent my blade down onto the right one's hand, severing it cleanly, and as he screamed, I shoved my sword into his chest.

Azriel called my name, and when my head whipped around, his hand closed around mine, pulling me out of the way of a beast and with my back into his chest, his deep voice rumbling through my body when he shouted over the rain: “Do you take me,”, I kicked out and the beast yelped, “to be your husband?”

Slashing my sword over the beast's snout, a laugh bubbled in my chest when Azriel spun me around, and my heart rose in my chest when I stared up at him, feeling pressure build in my throat as his eyes darted over my face, almost like he was expecting me to change my mind, pull back -

“I do!”

Azriel blinked, and his eyes brightened, became as radiant as amber held into the evening sun. Something shifted in my chest when a smile spread over his face, widening with every second, until creases formed in his cheeks and crinkles around his eyes, and I had to physically fight to keep myself from burying my fingers in his messy hair and pull him in to kiss him.

There was a war cry from our left, and I widened my eyes and jumped back, feeling the a blade whizz down where I had been standing just seconds before, and Azriel growled, wings flaring and sending out a wave of shadows that took down the row of soldiers behind him as I parried the next blow and slammed the soldier to the ground.

Whirling around, I grabbed Azriel's outstretched hand and yelled: “Do you take me,”, I ducked under his arm and blocked a blow, “to be your wife?” Azriel pulled me back, parrying the next as I stabbed my sword into another soldier's stomach. “On the good days and the bad; though,”, smoothly slicing the soldier's throat, I growled, “we might not see a lot more!”

Azriel's grip tightened, and he twirled me around, pulling me out of the way of another soldier, and my heart fluttered violently when my chest pressed into his and that golden feeling thrummed when Azriel nodded, eyes darting over my face and deep voice hoarse when he called over the rain: “I do!”

My breath hitched and heart fluttered, the feeling in my chest rising, and above us, Gwen yelled: “Then hereby, you may be bound! Bound by soul, bound by heart, bound to one!”

There was a flare of heat in the middle of my chest, and my breath hitched when Azriel's grip tightened like he felt it too; the burning of a tattoo appearing on his skin, the sign of the vows made visible in ink.

Gwyn's voice echoed through the skies when she yelled: “You now may –“

Movement at the corner of my eye made Azriel and me dart apart.

“You now –“

I dodged a blow, Azriel's hand closing around mine and spinning me around to parry another as his sword clashed with a third.

“You may kiss the –“

Thunder struck, I ducked under a beast's claw, then Gwyn shouted in frustration: “Godsdamnit, just kiss her!”

My heart surged and skipped and Azriel pulled me around; his arm wrapped around my waist as mine slipped over his shoulder and I could feel him dipping me back lightly as he leaned down, then he kissed me.

Kissed me as rain poured down our faces, my free hand slipping up to cradle the side of his neck and my breath hitching as I kissed back, deep and desperate, and a hoarse sound rumbled in Azriel's throat as he tightened his grip around me, kissing me like it was the first and last time.

The sound of a horn ripped me back into reality, reminding me that the world was close to ending.

Azriel pulled me back up onto my feet, breaking the kiss, and I was thankful that he was just as out of breath as I was, could feel his heart pounding just as quickly. Then he raised his head, and when I looked over my shoulder, my heart skipped high as relief so kneebuckling washed over me, I was glad Az was still holding me.

The cavalry had arrived.

“Come on, you two!”, Gwyn yelled somewhere above us, sounding gleeful. “Let's finish this!”

I raised my head, and Azriel's arm slipped away from my waist, amber eyes finding mine. For a second, I could see something flash through his gaze, like he expected me to pull back, suddenly regret this.

But I just sent him a wide, wicked smile.

“Shall we?”

It was still raining, but the storm had moved on. In the west, the clouds were breaking up, allowing the light of the sinking sun to flood over the lowlands, making the light rain shimmer as a rainbow spanned across the sky.

Breathing in deeply, I tipped my head back and closed my eyes as I felt the rain drizzle onto my face and body, washing away the smell of blood from the air and only leaving the scent of wet grass and moss to fill my nose with every slow inhale.

Feyre's arrival with the reinforcements had turned the tide, every last warrior gathering all their remaining strength. Still, there had been many losses, even after our victory, and wandering through the bloody mud, paying respect to the fallen, had caused a weight to rest on my chest, one that could not even be brushed away by the knowledge that my friends, my family was alive; exhausted and strained and with quite a few scratches, but alive.

Which was why I was standing on a hill, a little away from the tents, just listening to the patter of rain and breathing in the clean air as I felt the tension slowly melt from my muscles, leaving only exhaustion and heaviness in my limbs and a feeling of being so tired, I felt like falling asleep on the spot.

I felt him before I heard the call of my name, the feeling in my chest that had shrunk to a small, warm hum pulsing and growing.

Tipping my head back down, I looked over my shoulder, and my breath hitched when Azriel came towards me.

Just like me, he was still in his armor, specks of mud and blood on his cheeks, hair damp and curling like he had attempted to dry it and then got distracted. His dark brows were drawn together as his golden eyes pierced into mine.

“What are you doing?”, he called, his low, deep voice sending pleasant shivers down my spine.

He looked so close to his usual scowl, I felt my heart rise and skip as my lips curved up.

“Cleansing,”, I called back, and Azriel huffed, but it almost looked like he was fighting to keep his lips from twitching as he crossed the last bit of distance.

Turning around, I squinted up at him through the drizzle of rain, the thrumming thing in my chest soaring at the sight of him.

Godsdamned beautiful.

Up close, I could see the signs of exhaustion. His shadows were lazily swirling around his feet, his wings were drooping so much they almost grazed the ground, and his eyes were tired. But something sparked in them when they moved over my face, my heart skipping when I could feel his warm breath brush over my forehead.

“You know we have this ingenius invention for that? It's called a shower.” His voice was so dry, my heart skipped, and a smile slowly spread over my face, wide and bright and freeing in a way that caused something to stagger in my chest.

Azriel's eyes narrowed in, and his shoulders seemed to sag a little.

“I know.” Squinting up at him, I felt my smile grow smaller as I shrugged softly, something tightening gently in my chest.

Azriel's gaze flickered over my face. Then he blinked, and my heart fluttered into my throat when he reached out, gently pushing a wet strand of hair out of my face. His fingers, out of his gloves, brushed over my skin, warm and rough, and my breath hitched, a shudder running over my spine.

One corner of Azriel's lips curved, and that thing in my chest pulsed and thrummed at the way his golden eyes started to shine.

The shadowsinger dipped his head, and my heart skipped and jumped when his lips brushed over mine. Then his thumb and forefinger gently closed around my chin, and Azriel tilted my head back to kiss me, deep and slow until I sank into his chest, my knees simply too tired to keep up with the way all of him made the world spin. My fingers curled into his sides, and Azriel's other hand rose to move to the back of my neck, gently tangling in my hair, and his thumb brushed over my skin until a soft sound broke from the back of my throat and my whole body shuddered.

Azriel's lips curved up against mine. Then he slowly pulled back, and my heart skipped when I saw his eyes, lids heavy and iris hazed over, the only thing betraying him; showing that I had more than the same effect on him that he had on me.

The thought made something rise and flutter in my stomach.

I blinked. Then I furrowed my brows and mumbled: “Crap.”

Azriel's gaze cleared a little, brows drawing together, and his hand slipped down to rest against the side of my neck. “What?”

I stared past him into nothing.

“I just realised we have to explain to Rhys and Cass that we got married without them.”

#azriel #az #azriel x reader #azriel x female!reader #azriel imagine #azriel/reader #az x reader #az imagine #az/reader #acotar x reader #acotar #acomaf #acowar #lalacliffthorne

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2-dsimp · 7 months ago

Note

Hi hi hiii! Omg i binge read about ur yandere ovs and now yhey're running around in my mind like little hamsters.

What if darling somehow managed to see/hear Moros torture someone? And as a result, they're quite scared of Moros now, thinking he could snap on them at any moment? Thatd be so cool :o

Ur such a good writer!!! Keep writing, youre terrific! Have a good day n night :D

Cw: MDNI, NSFW, Heavy Angst, heavy Gore, yandere tendencies.

Yandere Torturer! Who forgot to lock the fun basement room, that you’ve always been curious of seeing. Whenever you come by to hangout at the agency he lived at with his other colleagues of Hitmen.

“N-no! Y-you can’t go in there, the basement is not really f-fun at all. It’s scary and d-dark… Not a p-place meant for you to see little one.”

Yandere Torturer! Would always plead for you to heed his warnings. He really hated keeping things from you but, it was for your own good. The burden he had to carry was his and his alone. And he planned on keeping it that way until he couldn’t.

Didn’t you know that curiosity killed the cat?

The stench of metallic blood hit your nostrils like a freight train. The jars of decapitated limbs, appendages, organs, littered the worn down shelves. You then choked a gasp seeing the state of your manager.

Hollow empty eye sockets, that dribbled tears of blood. He was still alive mouth breathing like a fish out of water. Though missing a whole bottom and top row of his teeth.

You remembered, briefly having an argument with him. About how he was always giving you creepy looks. Checking you out like you were a piece of meat and catcalling you.

But you never imagined that on his weeks notice about taking days off. Would you ever imagine seeing him strapped to a chair in tight chains like a dog. Teetering on the brink of death but unable to get true relief.

All because of the man who you thought to be the gentlest giant. One who’d never hurt a fly since he was oh so cutely timid and jittery. The same man in front of you donning a bloodied bunny mask and wearing his signature latex gloves to cover his huge hands.

“Moros… What the hell is this? Why is my manager here? Just what have you been doing in here?!”

“S-Sunshine?!”

Yandere Torturer! Who was so startled from your outburst that his butcher knife sliced through your coworker’s tongue. Making the latter thrash and choke on his own blood. The sight repulsed you and made you feel like hurling as you stumbled back away from the entrance.

“Oh n-no, you’re not s-supposed to be h-here. It’s d-dangerous I said. You’ll get sick! P-please wear t-this mask it’ll help you—“

Yandere Torturer! Who panicked over your wellbeing as He jerked off one of his bloodied gloves to search for a spare mask. To cover you from the carnage, but the damage was already done.

“No, no, no, stay away from me! Y-you murderer!”

You practically slapped away his trembling hand feeling all sorts of things ranging from loss, disgust, and denial. You couldn’t believe what you had seen, and wanted to escape this nightmare you believed that you had to be trapped in.

Yandere Torturer! Who let out a terrified noise at feeling you reject him for the first time and from seeing you suddenly flee from his sight. Almost as if you were afraid of him…

Yandere Torturer! Who became sick to his stomach and it was the due to the gore. Were you truly afraid of him? All he wanted was to be your caregiver, shield you from harm, take care of you the best way he could. So when he saw you getting harassed by your manager, he had to do it.

He wasn’t in the wrong! You were just shocked. You’d come back to him right? Right? If not then… He’d crumble.

“Sunshine… please don’t be afraid of me, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m—”

Yandere Torturer! Who slumped down into a ball like a lifeless husk in the corner. His fat tear drops falling from the holes in the rabbit mask.

——————-/——-

A/n: Here is the angst you’ve been wanting dear anon, I hope you’re satisfied _(:3 」∠)_

#Moros the Torturer #yandere hitman #yanderecore #yandere male #yandere scenarios #yandere imagines #yandere x reader #yandere oc #yandere x you #yandere concept #yandere male x reader #yandere angst #cw gore #yandere x y/n #yandere x darling

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hightowerz · 5 months ago

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one of the best things about transformers one is, to me, is how we were shown how genuinely close d-16 and orion were, and how their relationship is genuinely destroyed. there’s no coming back from the line they crossed, optimus himself openly states this. sentinel still influences the narrative. even in death, even after being ripped in half, he still influences megatron and optimus, in a way. because he is exactly what megatron and optimus think the other is. megatron thinks optimus is a false prime, that he is everything sentinel embodies. optimus thinks megatron used his powers to betray cybertron, chose his own desires over the people, just like sentinel. did optimus see sentinel’s corpse, ripped apart, and think to the vision where sentinel decapitated megatronous? very likely. did megatron see optimus looking down at him after his defeat, just like sentinel did, physically and figuratively, his whole life? mocking him while standing tall with a power, in megatron’s mind, optimus doesn’t deserve? yeah, probably. they both think the other is like the mech who betrayed them, their people, and their planet. and it’s so fucking tragic because sentinel didn’t even try to do any of that! he didn’t even have to try to erode their relationship. it just happened, and now, whenever they’ll see each other, they’ll just see him staring back at them.

also, while we’re here, i think it’s really cool that they made orion and d-16 equals in this. not a middle-class archivist and a miner turned gladiator who originally share the same vision, but true, genuine equals. they’ll always be equals, each will be the only equal the other has in terms of physical prowess. however, they kept orion’s love and interest for archives, and d-16’s violent tendencies. the latter was really interesting to see. said violent tendencies were brushed off as jokes, because he did not have the power to manifest those tendencies physically. not toward his superiors, at least. so you see him, on some level, subconsciously or not, directing that anger and violence onto orion, because they’re equals. but as soon as he gets that physical power, as soon as he learns the truth, he immediately becomes far more violent and confrontational and angry. he’s never had this power, he learns he was physically deprived of it by the mech he worshipped, it’s like he’s on an adrenaline rush. but he very quickly allows that anger to manifest in more violent and deliberate ways because he, finally, has the power to back it up. he doesn’t see how his anger is blinding him and directly hindering him (via his declaration to kill sentinel and shooting into the sky alerting arachnid of his presence, and the presence of his friends and the mech he nearly killed in a blind rage). it’s genuinely just so fascinating and tragic to see because they loved each other so deeply. but now they’re enemies and and a

#maccadam #transformers one #sentinel prime #orion pax #optimus prime #d-16 #megatron #ship: megop #astra.txt

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zan0tix · 1 year ago

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Pleaseeee tell me more about that homescryption au

A little something between you and me and everyone else who happens to look at this post. Im working on a lineup for the four scrybes :D

Roxys design is subject to change and you guys have already seen D1rk. Jane and Jake are in progress!!! (Also D1rk and Harley are the names for dirk and jake but weve been struggling to come up with appropriately fantasical/magical names for Jane and Roxy that align with magnificus and grimora😞 Harley feels old-manish enough that it fits in well… im sure well get there but if anybody has ideas feel free to comment ✌️)

But yes i can tell you more!!! ILL PUT IT ALL UNDER THE CUT THIS POST IS GOING TO BE LONG o7

Working with cyrus repliiku to flesh it out x3 he was the one who got me into the game and im CRAZY NOW!!!!

The four alpha scrybes methods of inscribing cards are that Harley uses his magic blunderbuss and the things he shoots become cards, Roxys cards are the fantasical characters she creates in her stories, Jane will be a detective of death, uncovering how cards die and writing up a casefile in her detective agency about them (might give her a magic magnifying glass. Well see), and D1rk were trying to figure out something with Sburbs captcha card + ghost captcha system like how Po3’s cards are printed from real robots

The students/the scrybes underlings are going to be other homestuck characters or splinters!

D1rks will be the robots (aradiabot, arquius (wanted him to me more unique than just brobot + hal so he gets to be a robot) and jadebot.

Harleys will be jake-ish splinters rather than new characters. Thered be the Adventurer (prospector), the Hunter (trapper/trader), the Sailor (angler), the Ectobiologist (mycologists), and the Actor (woodcarver) and his campaigns would be more Action packed like jakes action movies type stuff hehe

Janes will be the dead trolls, nepeta, equius and feferi. Not much to say besides them being dead lol 😭

And roxys were still figuring out but nerm. Viceroy/Casey, Rose (maybe goobert but they are actually nice and kind to her) and Eridan….(lonely wizard he was banished to the shadow realm for being annoying 😁👍)

Luke Carter is going to be Calliope and Satan in the greater scheme of the daniel mullins-verse will be Caliborn/Lord English because i think itd be very funny for him to just. Be making video games and thats his evil plot. LOL and Sado would be Gamzee. (Will not expand to pony island or the hex this is just clearing up the ending of inscryption)

Kaycee would probably be Aranea but like just some normal girl. Not all that sure abt the OLD_DATA tho ??? Maybe just all the wrong doings Lord English has committed and influenced culminated into the files or the code that brought him into the universe I DUNNO.

Retconning the drawing i did when i first scribbled this AU, i believe when harley turns the other scrybes into preexisting cards d1rk would become a seagull (kingfisher replacement) roxy would become a jaguar (wolf replacement) and jane would become a jackalope (pronghorn replacement) 😁

And the way harley would be defeated would be using his blunderbuss on him with a special bullet instead of film. Po3’s decapitation fulfilled the Dirk prophecy too LOL

I think that of the gameplay/card gimmicks themselves would work basically the same but i might try and come up with more creative homestucky twists on them

Im planning on finishing the designs and making sprites and more mockup screenshots :3

I might write up or draw a comprehensive ref sheet for this au someday but for now heres what weve jotted down 👍

#homestuck #inscryption #homescryption #my art #zan0tix #daniel talks #IM GLAD PEOPLE ARE LIKING IT SO MUCH ITS SO FUN TO THINK ABOUTTT

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funnelcakesandinfinitesuffering · 8 months ago

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Things I loved about the Murder Drones Finale: Part 2

Spoilers, obviously

Everything about Cynessa is perfectly terrifying. The way she moves. The way she talks. She’s one of the highlights of the episode edit sure.

“Hello Uzi.” “HI N!”

N’s panic is very justified. An Eldritch entity is wearing both of his sisters at once, and Uzi noticing and immediately trying to comfort him is perfect.

The way I screamed when Uzi’s core got ripped out.

“Let me in. Let me in. Let me in.” This show can be so scary when it wants to.

They knew how much the hand stuff from episode 2 freaked us out, and amped it up to 100.

BTW, watch the Callback Ping scene with headphones on, the sound design is great.

N having flashbacks to Cyn mutilating him and V at the mansion and turning them into murder drones.

Uzi’s heart was literally crawling out of her chest but she still calmed down N and he held her hand.

V’s apology to N was everything. Nola Klop respect.

That was N’s heart in the teaser?

KHAN’S DOORS FINALLY CAME IN HANDY!

”God f—-ing d—-it.”

I guess that did get a line, lol.

Uzi’s “I’m cringe and free!” Moment was everything. And Nori supporting her too.

Nori’s IPod must be indestructible.

I can’t imagine a better way to close out the show than a big anime fight set to nightcore music.

This fight has too many great things for me to fit in here, so I’ll just do my favorites:

The railgun shooting off J’s wig, and Uzi not even waiting for it to recharge, so she just threw it.

J getting beheaded and Uzi whacking her head like a softball with the gun.

When N’s hologram glitched away, Cyn’s eyes turned into :p faces.

UZI, N, AND V ALL WORKING TOGETHER WAS EVERYTHING IVE EVER WANTED!

N finally getting his revenge for all his decapitations by cutting off Cyn’s head. (and then she put it right back on backwards)

The puppy dog eyes again.

#murder drones #uzi doorman #serial designation n #serial designation j #serial designation v #murder drones cyn #murder drones khan doorman #murder drones thad #murder drones lizzy #nori doorman #liam vickers animation

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hyohaehyuk · 7 months ago

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Den of Geek - Interview With the Vampire Cast on the One Thing They Don’t Tell You About Playing Vampires

Den of Geek: Jacob, in the first episode, Louis asked Daniel to let the story seduce. Do you feel you’ve accomplished that, and how does it feel?

Jacob Anderson: Yeah, I think he does let the story seduce. I think it reveals at the end that Louis let the story seduce himself. I remember Rolin talked about this quite a lot, Louis tries to hypnotize himself a little bit when he’s telling this story. To the extent that he believes it himself. Maybe he believes there are things that he says that might not be completely reliable. But then, who among us really tells a reliable, completely truthful, story about our own lives and our own participation in our lives, and other people’s? Yeah, I think he succeeded. Maybe a little bit too well.

Sam, you are center stage in two character-defining genre moments. When you’re holding a head and punching tickets, is there an awareness of how this is gonna play on screen? And how does that energize your performance?

Sam Reid: Yeah, definitely, I think Rolin knew what he was doing, too, when he wrote those moments. I don’t write those beats, I see them on a page, and it’s my job to interpret them. Actually, the decapitated head had a lot of discussion around it, and whether it was going to be too far or not. I think I may have shot that sequence, and Bailey was there too, so I’m expected to remember, more times than I think I shot anything, ever. We did it so many times.

I always talk about the practical effects of this show, but they’re so astonishing. It’s almost worth ruining the illusion just to know how we shot it. So, when I kick open that door, I’m jumping across a little moving car that I’m standing on, to another one that’s being held by members of the production design team, shaking the cart. So, it’s being shaken by people, and then the carriage that disappears behind me is a 2-D flat piece of wood that is being pulled apart by a whole bunch of guys on ropes while I jump across it. It’s so detailed. Every shot was just beautiful the way they make those things.

Jacob Anderson: And fun fact, that head is the head of Adam O’Byrne, producer.

Sam Reid: Yeah, it’s the head cast of one of our producers on the show, which was very funny to walk around with his head and have to work out how to manipulate it into being a puppet.

Jacob Anderson: [Mimicking] Get back to work!

Bailey, you play the same scenarios in two different worlds. Louis’ first telling and then after Daniel bullies them into the real story. I’m assuming you shoot these on the same set at the same time? How do you differentiate these realities internally?

Bailey Bass: We have an incredible crew that’s very supportive. Alexis Ostrander was very great at directing how Claudia should feel, and Rolin Jones knew exactly how he wanted the audience to feel in those moments. Because I was playing Claudia so truthfully as her for most of the show, when I’m doing that scene that’s not true – that Louis made up to make himself feel better – it was a bit of a challenge. I was grateful for both of them, Alexis and Rolin, for giving me guidance on how to live Louis’ lie rather than Claudia’s truth.

When you add up all the vampire abuses, do you feel Lestat earned an attempted death sentence?

Sam Reid: I hope so. I hope he earned it, and I hope people feel like that was earned. I mean, God, what other choice do these people have but to kill him? And I think he knows that too. I really hope the audience feel that he should have died. Lestat, particularly at the end when he realizes that it’s Louis with the knife and not Claudia, he feels like, “Okay, I’ve gone too far. And I need to die.” [Laughs]

Bailey, Claudia instigated it.

Bailey Bass: I think Claudia is, definitely, like: “Yes, he should have died.” I’ve been watching every episode as it airs on AMC+ so I can live it with the fans, and there are all these arguments about Louis, Lestat, Claudia, and our relationships. It’s really interesting. Because of Rolin’s great vision and writing, our characters are so equally specific, which makes audiences fall in love with them. When I’m watching it as a fan, I see why people don’t want Lestat to die. But then I also played Claudia, and I know how her brain works. And of course, he deserved to die.

And finally, Jacob, you’re the one who left Lestat with the rats, do you feel he deserved it?

Jacob Anderson: No, I think Louis doesn’t necessarily feel like he wants him to die. I think a lot of it is about freedom. They’re trapped in his house, and Claudia and Louis are essentially prisoners. I think that the only way they’re going to be able to escape the situation they’re in, is for Lestat to just be off the board for a little bit. He needs to go and sit in the naughty coffin and think about what he’s done. It’s like they’re on a break, essentially. That break will facilitate Claudia and Louis being able to explore their existence a little bit more, and explore their relationship, and their lives outside of this house. Get out of there. They’re not going to be able to get out of that house, unless Lestat is also out of that house.

Sam Reid: It’s also a very kind gesture, in a way, for Louis to do it to Lestat, because Lestat doesn’t really develop that much as a character over the first season. He’s got a lot of issues that he doesn’t really deal with. And sometimes the nicest thing that someone can do, or that a monster partner can do, is kill you to instigate a bit of personal change. Hopefully, this is the first step in a character arc for Lestat.

Jacob Anderson: It’s like any relationship, right? Sometimes you just have to have the big, big, big argument that completely changes how you perceive your relationship. Without that, how can you move on and establish something new?

Sam Reid: Yeah, yeah. They live forever, you know? You gotta make big choices.

Cosmetically, technically, and emotionally, what is something no one prepares you for when you take on the role of a vampire?

Jacob Anderson: Nights. The nights.

Sam Reid: Yeah. Working at night.

Jacob Anderson: Yeah, because the scripts are so beautifully written. They’re so dense, full of ideas, and full of beautiful dialogue. You don’t want to mess any of it up. You have to switch your brain into a place where it can operate at full capacity. At 4 a.m., you’re having to do this very lofty stuff, and it’s very difficult to actually prepare for that without just doing it.

Bailey Bass: Because, eventually, we all have a time at night where we start to get delusional. I documented the whole show, I’m watching videos of myself and I can pinpoint exactly when I started to lose my mind. You have to rework it to keep acting at 100%.

Along with that, no one could have prepared me for the lenses. Your vision is restricted. Sometimes we couldn’t see our other actors’ faces while we’re acting, which can make it really difficult because one of the first things you learn when you’re acting, as part of acting, is reacting. It’s mainly: when you can’t see the muscles of your actors’ face, how are you supposed to do that? Along with that, the lenses change how they feel in your eyes, based on the environment you’re in. So, if we’re working at 4 a.m., depending on the degrees it is outside, it will affect how the lenses feel on your eyes. No one can even explain that until you feel it on your eyeball.

Sam Reid: Yeah, the nights and the lenses. It’s very hard to grasp what that feels like, for the extended period of time that we did it. You enter something like a dream world, literally, that’s the best way that I can think of describing it. It’s like this bizarre dream primordial soup.

How will season two deal with Claudia and Louis’ falling out?

Jacob Anderson: How exciting to find out. I can’t wait to find out.

#jam reiderson #jacob anderson #sam reid #bailey bass #interview with the vampire #iwtv #season 1 press

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matherofdragons · 10 months ago

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I guess it's my obligatory rant time.

Rhaenyra spends 10 days looking for Luke's body and it's constantly crying over her kids. Meanwhile our sweet Helaena who was actually in despair after B&C is so nonchalant about her sons decapitation after just few days. "Babes die every day"

It seems that they are also aiming at the Alicent is at fault. Cole was supposed to guard Alicent anyway. They just fucked up and instead of B&C sneaking inside they just reduced the number of guards.

Everyone at King's Landing is doing nothing but sending letters. Although the smallfolk seems to be doing fine. What was that about Rhaenyra being merciful lol? As if Aegon isn't a good lad buying everyone a drink. How dare he contribute to the economy! I guess they'll use this as retcon since we can't have Rhaenyra starve them. You see Aegon is just spending the money on wine and they be starving! Bad bad Eggy!

The only people who move the plot forward are Daemon, Aegon and our favourite plot device the White Worm. How convenient she's always there. Yet I can't forgive the constant teleportations in King's Landing. First Daemon, now Rhaenyra. If it's so easy why didn't they try another assassination attempt? Why didn't Alicent kill Rhaenyra? I will take anything at this point just release us from this bad writing.

It's kinda comical how Daemon and Aegon are both made to look impulsive and stupid for actually taking action and trying to move the plot forward. I guess they should have just started sending letters instead! Otto being mad one episode that Aegon did something while in the previous he was plotting and did the exact same thing is very stupid. I am starting to miss D&D.

Also every episode has a scene where the greens admit they're usurpers and Rhaenyra is the rightful queen. It's so in our faces that even my normie parents switched sides to the Greens lol.

#house of the dragon #aegon ii targaryen #alicent hightower #helaena targaryen #otto hightower #anti hotd #rhaenyra targaryen

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electricalhuzzah · 3 months ago

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What would happen if bill cut his hair?

CAN he cut his hair? Is it like a Rapunzel in tangled the series type situation? Is he just not allowed? Would it turn into a bunch of smaller snakes? What if he shaved it? What then?

I’ve thought about this quite a bit and I need to know Eva

oooo this is an interesting one. let’s see if i can answer it and not create new plotholes accidentally. actually,,, lemme answer in the form of a not-fic-canon drabble >:D well, not-canon as far as the story, canon as far as the mechanics.

taking place as a variant of chapter 5 after ford bandages the stupid oyster shucking wound. tl;dr at end. a little bit suggestive. enjoy, or don’t, this is a little fucking stupid

⠂⠄⠄⠂⠁⠁⠂⠄⠄⠂⠁⠁⠂⠄⠄⠂ ⠂⠄⠄⠂☆

The ex-deity sat upon the kitchen counter, legs crossed as he swirled his wine. Smiling in good humor, a bandaged cut on his hand, snakes atop his head slithering excitedly as though they, too, were laughing. The light of the sunset came in through the window and hit Bill’s face just right, illuminating his skin and smile a beautiful golden color.

It was then Ford thought to himself, how could something this beautiful possibly be a mistake?

Ford put the oysters into the oven and set an egg timer before moving back over to Bill, leaning on the island opposite the counter where Bill sat.

“You know, if we’re going to keep this a secret, those snakes are gonna give us away quick,” Ford stated. “Earlier today, we got lucky that I’d brushed them out right before Stanley saw us. If we were fighting and those damn snakes looked all happy, we’d be discovered quickly.”

Bill pondered for a moment. “You’re right. And it’s not like I can keep brushing them out all the damn time.”

The scientist tapped his chin thoughtfully. “Is… cutting them an option?”

“Huh. Guess I never thought about it,” Bill shrugged. He reached across the counter to the knife block, pulling out a pair of kitchen scissors which was immediately wrestled away from him.

“You’re not using sharp objects for a while,” Ford grumbled, putting the scissors back in the knife block. “Can’t you just ask your axolotl-therapist-guy anyhow?”

Bill pouted. “Awh, where’s the fun in that?” He hooked his leg around his partner’s knee. “Wouldn’t you rather find out for yourself?”

Ford couldn’t explain exactly why the action, or perhaps the way Bill said his words, made his heart stutter. “My muse, we’ve had enough problems with various parts of you getting cut already. If someone you can access already has the answer, it’d be much easier to—“

The blonde hummed quietly as he touched Ford’s chest, which managed to shut him up quickly. “Wasn’t it Gotthold Lessing who said something like—” He leaned in close to whisper in the scientist’s ear, “—If God were to hold all Truth concealed in his right hand, and in his left only the steady and diligent drive for Truth, albeit with the proviso that I would always and forever err in the process, and to offer me the choice, I would with all humility take the left hand. —?”

Ford refused to explain why that, also, made his heart stutter. “A-Are you trying… to quote philosophers… in order to get me to do something we both know would be stupid?”

Bill gave a little grin as he pulled away from Ford’s ear. “Is it turning you on a little bit?”

“I really don’t wanna answer that.”

The ex-deity handed his partner the kitchen scissors once more. “You can do the honors, smart guy.”

Ford snipped the scissors at thin air experimentally. “Should I just—“

“Yeah, just snip the head off one,” Bill said with a nod.

The scientist cringed at the suggestion. “That feels like decapitation.”

Bill rolled his eye. “They’re not alive, IQ. They’re made of hair. Just snip it!”

“No!” Ford protested. “At least brush them out first, so I don’t have to look in their eyes as I decapitate them!”

The ex-deity obliged, running a hand through his hair until the snakes disbanded into little strands of honey blond hair. “Happy?”

Ford gingerly took a lock of hair between two fingers, and snipped off what must’ve been five inches of Bill’s long hair. To his wonder, the lock appeared to spontaneously grow back at inhuman speeds, all the way to the length it was before he cut it.

“Astounding,” Ford marveled as the snakes began to reform in his very hand. One slithered up the side of Bill’s face to headbutt his forehead disapprovingly.

Just then, a chime rang from Bill’s prism watch. When he checked it, the message wasn’t anything like what he’d seen before.

DON’T DO THAT AGAIN.

“Hm, I suppose that settles it,” Ford conceded.

Bill looked up from the glowing face of his prism-watch. “Where are your clippers?”

Ford blinked with surprise. “Bill, the watch said—“

“Yeah, I know what the watch said, Sixer!” Bill exclaimed. “But goddamnit, I wanna have sex with you, and I do not want your brother to punch me in the face again! And getting rid of these damn telltale snakes is the only way to actually keep us a secret! So unless you have any better ideas, please, tell me— where are your clippers??”

⠂⠄⠄⠂⠁⠁⠂⠄⠄⠂⠁⠁⠂⠄⠄⠂ ⠂⠄⠄⠂☆

“For the record, I still think this is a terrible idea,” Ford said, clippers buzzing in his hand.

“Come on!” Bill pleaded. “Worst case scenario, they grow back, and we try fire next.”

“No, worst case scenario is finding out you’re not only bald, but you have a lumpy head,” Ford muttered. “And it would be a shame if I had to break up with you for such a petty reason.”

Not finding the joke nearly as funny as his partner did, Bill flicked Ford’s forehead disapprovingly. “Just start shaving, smart guy.”

Hesitantly, Ford pressed the blade of the clippers to Bill’s hairline and dragged them from the front of his head to the back. He made quick work, like ripping off a band-aid, hoping to get the pain of losing his partner’s gorgeous hair done and over with. When he was done, he turned off the clippers and tried to suppress a grimace at how Bill looked with his new buzz-cut.

“Are they growing back?” Bill asked.

Ford carded through the centimeter-short hair, trying not to grieve the blond locks on the kitchen floor. “Doesn’t look like it.”

“Cool!” Bill replied, running his hands just across the top of his head. Ford withdrew his own hand, biting his tongue as to how much he disliked the new look.

Just as the scientist repressed his complaint, he saw something. The tiniest spark, coming from Bill’s control collar. Another tiny spark, and another.

Then, a not-so-tiny spark. One that made Bill jolt, then convulse, then scream. Ford could do nothing but watch as his partner’s every muscle forcibly contracted at the sudden electrocution. Between each flash of impossibly bright light, another few inches of Bill’s blonde hair grew back.

Only when Bill’s shirt began to smoke did the shocks stop coming. His hair, with newly reformed snakes, had grown back to their original length. Amidst panting and shaky breaths, the two heard another chime from Bill’s prism-watch.

I SAID NOT TO DO THAT. THE THERAPRISM HAS A BUDGET, YOU KNOW.

“Are you alright?” Ford asked, his hands clutching Bill’s shoulders like precious stones.

Bill let out a hiss of pain through his teeth. “Not exactly, ya genius.”

Ford bit the inside of his cheek, wincing at himself. “Sorry. Stupid question.”

“No, that’s… I was the one who…” Bill sighed, burying his head in Ford’s chest. “Y’know, for an all-knowing dream demon, and a genius with twelve PhD’s… we’re pretty stupid.”

The scientist chuckled, laughter running a little rumble down his pillowy chest that inexplicably soothed Bill.

“So, you said something about trying fire next?” Ford ribbed, burying his face in Bill’s newly regrown snake-hair.

Bill groaned at the mockery. “Absolutely not.”

“Oh, absolutely not? But what about Lessing? What about the steady and diligent drive for truth?” Ford teased.

“You’re an ass.”

“I know, why don’t we try acid next!” Ford suggested sarcastically. “Surely that’s a good idea!”

Rolling an eye, Bill placed a peck on Ford’s crackled little lips. “Would it kill you to shut up?”

“It would, actually,” Ford crooned, going soft at the gentle kiss. “Keep kissing me, though, and it might ease the pain of death.”

As much as Bill wanted to give his lover a slow and painful death for being such an obnoxious asshole, he did not. He opted, instead, for the kiss.

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when the haircut so bad they electrocute u :(

^ me but yapping 😎

tl;dr— bill’s snake hair has set length and doesn’t grow beyond that, so no practical needs for haircuts. he is Greatly Discouraged from cutting it (read: electrocution). if it is cut, it magically regrows to its set length. if it’s shaved, ford pitches a fit and it is Greatly Discouraged (read, once again: electrocution).

#oh em gee we got bald bill before chapter 15 #yeah yeah sHUT #bill cipher #gf heinz dilemma #billford #drabble #eva answers questions without fucking answering questions

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