#they deserve it after everything they've been through
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Theo's eyes don't look like his own, especially with the way they're red and green and glowing. He isn't fully there, but he sees this, he never wanted to break Argo's arms. He did it because he had to. He never wanted to see Argo hurt. But he had to. It was the only thing he could think of. He looks utterly pissed, though not at Argo. Never at Argo. Never in a million lifetimes.
He's breathing heavily, he has control but his sister's voice is guiding him for the most part. He can do whatever he wants, but he has no idea what to do, so he just blindly follows his sister's advice, it's never failed him before. It won't fail him now.
'Say something. Come on, talk. Stop gritting your teeth together. It looks like betrayal from his perspective. It's not his fault. He's just saying that because he thinks you're doing this on purpose, just hurting him for the sake of hurting him. Explain yourself to him. Let him know what's happening. Fix this.'
Theo nods, though not at Argo. At Andrea's voice. He's going to do what he should've long ago. He's going to help- no matter what it takes, whether Argo likes it or not. That's his best friend and brother. He's not going to leave him. He promised not to. He promised he would never do that. And he's a man of his word.
"Well, you are mine. Whether you like it or not- I fucking love you. And I'm not going to stop just because you're scared of getting hurt or hurting. I'm sorry I'm not a magician! It's going to hurt! But I'm trying to save you- to get your fucking autonomy back! To let you live your own life- because you don't deserve this shit, and I won't stand for it!"
Theo screams, starting to cough halway through, a voice joining in with him at times, Andrea speaks through him as well. Like she's trying to convince Argo that this is true. Andrea cares for the both of them, why would she lie? Why would Theo lie? After everything they've been through together- why would he lie to Argo? Even though his face is angry, Theo's tone sounds geniuine.
°â˘âĄOpen Starter âĄâ˘Â°
I Live Inside You Forever, With Satan Himself By My Side
ANYONE CAN INTERACT
>TW: Unwilling transformation, derealization, loss of bodily autonomy, body mutilization (possibly other things) <
Argo had locked himself in one of the prison cells the moment he felt it start. His wings had somehow.. absorbed back into his body? Making it all the more painful when they burst out again.
Argo lets out a bloodcurdling scream- like millions of souls worth of agony are being channeled through Argo right now.
Argo is wearing a weird outfit; like something an old puppet would wear. Bows. Everywhere. A bow tie, bows on their gloves, and bows on their little socks- and on every individual set of wings.
It would be cute, but the bows sprout into string; tying tightly around their respective areas. Wrists, wings, ankles, neck- and they lead back to an invisible control panel.. somewhere above Argo.
His wings are pure white- but tied back by razored, barbed, wire. So are his facial wings- and the smaller pair of facial wings that sprouted out with the large; actually functional wings.
They make Argo look almost.. angelic- in a biblical way.
Argo looks up, repressing another scream. Their voice already hurts.
They see a person and their face goes deadly pale.
You notice they're missing all their facial scars; like they're wearing a perfect porcelain mask.
The 'mask' which seems to now just be Argo's skin cracks; right where their jawline scar used to be.
Argo tries to move back- but their razor wire restraints prevent that. He almost objects; almost vocalizes- but a stitch comes undone from their neck and that shuts him up really damn quick.
Argo looks like a perfect little angel puppet.
So, what do you do?
taglist (ask to be added or deleted): @orion-the-hunterpt2 @lilacnightshade @pain-is-forever @reyno-solis-real @faceless-bugger @unlicensed-field-medic @the-great-emperor-commodus @the-eclipsed-sun @sophia-hunter-of-artemis @daughter-of-thanatoss
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I hope Bex and Dannis got to have their little orange cat in the end
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[ day 5: companion ]
Sometimes a family can be your two husbands and your glittery purple dog.
#ffxiv#febhyurary#day 5: companion#azem#oc: persephone 'azem'#hythazemet#emet-selch#hythlodaeus#endwalker spoilers#unsundered azem au#ship: distant skies#verse: written in the stars#post endwalker#look they deserve a little peace after everything they've been through#gif#gpose#reshade#my screenshots
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aoba would soon form the "younger siblings who found out their older sibling is actually INTERESTED in DATING PEOPLE" support group
#dmmd#aoba dmmd#sei dmmd#implied mizusei#implied kouao#love their sibling dynamic (they spoke once and one of them is canonically d e d)#this is part of the sei lives au#after everything they've been through they deserve the WORLD!!!!!!!
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What's your favorite thing you've written?
I don't know if I could objectively say what the best thing I've written is, but hands down the one I had the most fun writing was Darling, Let's Run
I think about that AU constantly and I really miss the shenanigans of Prick the cat. Maybe one of these days I'll write an epilogue just to see how they're doing đĽ°
#I need really need to return to dog!Cassian too#The Archeron sisters deserve a reunion after everything they've been through with these insufferable males đ
#Darling Let's Run
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they would be part of my dream blunt rotation
#fire emblem#fire embem awakening#fe 13#robin fe#lissa#weed mention#after everything they've been through they deserve a little weed
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Crowley - says the We/MC doesn't belong at the school, doesn't know how we got there says he''l look into how to get us home
Also Crowley: does fuck all about trying to find us/them away home
--
They don't need to be mean about it but I wanna see MC finally go off and snap, yes they've made a lot of new friends a NightRaven but gdi they want/need answers.
They can't exactly just live at that school forever, they're homesick also you know what they're sick of acting therapist for everyone just overblotting.
They're always the one helping and bailing others out of trouble so let them be the one in need of saving this time.
Yuu out here always how everyone else is doing but does anyone ask 'How's Yuu?' or 'What does Yuu want'
How much do these guys really know about us/MC does anyone ever ask about our home and our life? No.
After solving and helping everyone else with their problems I think it's high time to have that returned and have everyone try and help Yuu- if Crowley won't find away home time to take matters into our own hands and start doing our own research
#I'm not saying Yuu/MC needs to suddenly turn into some bitchy selfish asshole just#you know they've been through a lot in a short time they deserve to vent and just have someone check on this poor kid#at the very least the fact despite claiming they have 0 magic and shouldn't be there well they are#I think it's about time we stopped ignoring that little detail/plot point asf#twst#twisted wonderland#all I'm saying is where is Yuu's therapy time after everything
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hey so i also decided to search wattpad. so far this is all i've found. yeah this is the entire thing. honestly i think they ate
Omg I found that one too....... good for them tbh
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I hate Ghost dying or worse in every ending so much I HATE IT, and it's genuinely amazing cuz I've SO MANY FEELINGS ON THIS sometimes you can do every single thing right and still don't get your happy ending
Amazing lore and writing and game design--
#they and their siblings deserve so much better after everything they've been throughđ#fix-its live rent free in my head#hollowknight
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You know what hits me hard? When 5 to 6 year old children, all the way in Southeast Asia, knows about what's happening in Palestine right now. That children their age is getting bombed, that they're starving to death, that they're getting shot at, and sniped in the head. Because, just this past 2 or so months, I heard some of the little ones in the Kindergarten classes I'm TAing in as an Intern talk about it. Hell, one of the little boys downright said he didn't like Israel, because Israel is bad, because they do scary things. Another was questioning whether Palestine was bad too, because, "why else would they shooting at them?". A little girl in one of my classes doesn't want to finish her food at all, because she wants to save at least half her meat and rice for kids in Palestine, because she heard that, they don't have food. And that's just the ones I remember. Namely the inciting cases before their classmates slowly follow suit. The littles are fricking SCARED. We had to sit these kids down, and tell them that the topic is too mature for them at the moment, that they shouldn't even be concerned because they're KINDERGARTNERS, they're not even old enough to properly understand. The one teacher I was TAing for had to make a class announcement saying that. What gets me is, these are 5 to 6 year olds, the youngest I've worked with in this specific age group is 4. 5 years old on average, and they've already been exposed to the worst horrors genocide has to offer through the news and snippets of conversation among adults and hell, considering how many of them say they like to play games on Mama's phone, or their IPad, even from fricking social media. And the fact that, these literal babies, from all the way in Cambodia, has more empathy in their entire body and soul, than full grown fricking adults have in the nail of their pinky finger, gets me. FFS we as adults could LEARN from them I feel sometimes. I honestly don't know what to feel about it anymore. On the one hand, this is the next generation I'm working with. And if the next generation's default response to a tragedy such as Palestine, is what I've seen come up on occasion so far? Perhaps there's some bloody hope for this world after all. At least in this country. Especially since a majority of them already come from families who survived a genocide. These are the 3rd - 4th generation descendants of those who survived the Khmer Rouge. They've got grandparents at home, who no doubt are more than intimately familiar with what Palestine is going through right now. And it shows.
But on the other, it makes my heart sink because these are CHILDREN, these are LITTLE KIDS, they should be playing with their toys and watching cartoons and talking to their friends about everything from Spiderman to Speakerman to Kuromi and her friends, and be worried about whether or not they can go to playground that day, guranteed they're well behaved, or if Mama remembered to pack in their costume for swimming lessons that week. NOT JUST MY KIDS. But the little ones in Palestine too. They deserve better. They all deserve, so much better. Hell, it's come to the point that whenever I look at my kiddos right now, whether they'd be working in class, playing, doing something as mundane as eating lunch or getting ready for their nap. I think of the children their age in Palestine that didn't even get the chance to survive. I think of the ones whose memories from this age, is nothing but absolute horror and pain, rather than what has slowly become my normal, who never got to experience what my littles do on a daily basis right now.
Children shouldn't even be concerned about "War", about a Genocide. The last thing that should be on a 5 year old's mind, is pain, and suffering, and the worst horrors imaginable ever to be inflicted on a human being. ESPECIALLY WHEN IT'S INFLICTED, ON OTHER CHILDREN THEIR AGE. And for that alone, the world has failed them. Especially the kids in Palestine who didn't ask for any of this. They just wanted to carry on with life as kids do, the same way as my littles do on a daily basis no doubt, learning, playing, chatting with friends over their favourite cartoons and characters, worrying about whether they'd get to go to the playground or not that day.
I apologize for talking about this on this blog. I know my blog tends to be lighter in feel, a lot more unhinged and light hearted typically. I mean, I'm just a fricking nerd who likes to draw and write, and lurk about her favourite fandoms to consume and support what is shared among other nerds who also like to draw and write. But I couldn't stop thinking about it. About contemplating it, especially since I'll be back on a roll tomorrow, working with my kiddos again after not seeing them for 5 days straight because of Holidays. And, I just had to talk about it. This is something I felt I couldn't keep to myself this time, I don't think my soul'd be able to carry it. I had to talk about it.
FREE PALESTINE. Our children deserve better.
#free palestine#gaza#palestine#rafah#israel#current events#gaza strip#human rights#childrens rights#save the children#cease fire in gaza#cease fire now#cease fire permanently#palestinian genocide#support gaza#pray for palestine#ceasfire now
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You know what? I'm gonna say it. There are some characters who are GOOD and that is a CHOICE that is INTRINSIC to their character. There are some characters who wake up every morning and make the choice to be a good person in the face of a world that gives them every reason not to. There are some characters who "deserve a dark side arc" or "have a right to be a little evil after everything they've been through" and they actively choose to deny themselves that right because even after everything they still choose to do the right thing and to help people and to love everyone even after it breaks them and THAT'S what makes them such a good characterâ the very fact THAT they could easily but CHOOSE to do right instead. There are some characters whose choice to be good is an intrinsic facet of their character and to take that away from them is to take away everything that makes them such a compelling character in the first place.
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To defend tommy (and perhaps give the writers more credit than they deserve), has buck been able to figure himself out whilst they've been dating? because for all oliver's talk about buck's bi-awakening being about buck, on screen it still doesn't seem like he's grappled with his sexuality outside of his attraction to tommy.
They're six months in and buck can't even clarify his sexuality when his sister makes a (pretty poor taste) joke about him having been "turned gay." He does the same thing he's been doing since 7.04 and talks around it.
Plus, let's be real tommy's not wrong about buck being impulsive, and he specifically has a history of using grand gestures in place of actually working through his issues. So whilst i think buck does know what he wants re: his future with tommy, like i've been saying since april i don't think he's actually thought about what that means for him and his identity. Even with Gerrard, he doesn't seem to put together why he's getting under his skin so much. There's been a very steady (if perhaps accidental) thread through buck's bi-awakening of him pretending to be more okay with it than he actually is. Like, sure could his first queer relationship be his last, yeah, but he probably should be able to say the word bisexual outloud before trying to make that happen.
I'd also argue that buck's put tommy up on a pedestal a bit, despite the fact tommy's been very open about his flaws. Even after the abby reveal, he's willing to brush past it with barely a conversation and asking him to move in. That doesn't scream, "I love you in spite of your flaws and mistakes," it screams "I'm ignoring your flaws because I love you." and that's kind of a recipe for everything to all come crashing down at some point. Which is exactly what tommy's afraid of happening.
In theory I don't even mind them breaking up/going on a break if it forces buck to actually deal with all those things, but that's only really satisfying if there's a full circle moment where he's able to go back to tommy with real clarity about who he is and what he wants.
#entering my delulu era everyone#i've decided he'll be back#911 abc#911 spoilers#bucktommy#evan buckley#tommy kinard#tevan
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SUNNY AND KEL SWEEP!!!!
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just look at how sweet their energy is
ADHD/Autism Duos: Round 1, Side B
Matchup 6:
#adhd vs autism bracket#sunny omori#kel omori#omori#<prev#but like#kel is the most adhd#and sunny is the most autistic#kel was the one who finally got sunny to exit his house for the first time in four years#kel is incredibly accurate adhd rep#which i am qualified to say as an adhd person#like his entire arc just resonates with me so much#and sunny#is the most autistic#like he was even in the autismswagsummit he's just that autistic#and it's so clever how throughout the game you're put into his shoes and can see just how uniquely he sees the world#without it being shoved into your face#also he likes to hide in cardboard boxes#their moments together in the game are just some of the best#like there's a reason their ship is one of the most popular in the fandom#i just---#i love the two of them so much#and they totally deserve this after everything they've been through
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i don't want to see Wyll cut off Ulder because he sucked as a father and deserved better as a 17 year old who was scared and alone and desperate to do the right thing with the immense pressure of not just his father, the man he idolized, but also The Entire Nobility of the city he loved bearing down on him.
i want to see them sit down on a bench overlooking the sea, somewhere they once spent every spare day (however few they may have been as time went on and Duty Called) Ulder had available bonding over training or fishing or listening to music or whatever else they enjoyed doing together.
i want them to have half-started and never-finished conversations about how Ulder failed, and how he wants to make up for it, and how much grief he holds over everything. about how many nights after his exile Wyll spent crying and screaming about how unfair it was and how "if he'd just listened to me." about how Wyll deserved better and Ulder should've known better but they can't go back and do it over again.
i want them to talk about Wyll's mother and who she was and why Ulder loved her and how he never really recovered from her death. and how bittersweet it is to look at Wyll - not because he blames his son for his wife's death, but because Wyll has her laugh and wears his hair the way she wore hers when they first met and it reminds Ulder of the woman he knew and loved and wishes so so so bad Wyll had also known and loved. of the woman he's certain would have protected Wyll from her husband's misplaced judgement.
i want Ulder to try and fail and succeed and fail and succeed and try over and over again to be the father Wyll deserves Now as an adult who's quite literally been through All The Hells and has the horns and claws and glowing red eye to prove it. and for Wyll to step away and back and away and back over and over again because he knows he wants His Father but he doesn't know what that means after everything they've been through.
i want to see the Ravengards learn to be father and son again and be able to laugh with and cry with and talk with and genuinely trust each other.
Wyll deserves to have a father who loves him and who has the humility and honor to listen to him and respect him and learn How to be the father he needs.
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I was already on a hair trigger today trying not to snap at a mutual for reblogging a "fuck authors who use Amazon" post, but, like, this shit is why some authors can only afford to use Amazon.
They don't have the $75+ to distribute through Ingram Spark. They don't have the $25 it takes to change your files if you need to update them after they've been accepted. They can't afford to take the cost of printing hit to their sales. They can't afford to lose an additional 40% of their income to retailer discounts.
And just so we're clear, Ingram isn't a vanity publisher. They're one of the largest print monopolies in the world. They're used by most mainstream traditional publishers and indie and self-pub authors alike. Amazon uses them when their print demand is too high.
My friend, whose work is published by Gollancz, is printed through Ingram, the same as mine. The difference is their publisher takes the hit for them. In theory. We won't get into dwindling advances here or how publishers are increasingly putting the onus of marketing and sales onto their authors or the fact that their editors can't afford rent or food while the executives get richer and richer.
So what do you do when the mainstream doesn't want you? What do you do when you're told if you can't keep up with the rat race, that you don't deserve to have your work published? What do you do if all you have is the ability to tell stories for a living, and no one wants you?
Well, you could die of starvation. I'm sure there are several people on here who'd be happy if that happened to me. (I know. Because they tell me. Often.) Or, you can shake hands with the devil, knowing it's a bum deal, knowing everything is fucked, but also knowing that every other aspect of this fucking industry is just as fucking bad.
There's no escape. It's relentless.
And you've got people out there posting things like, "Actually, I think authors who charge for their books are part of the problem."
And yeah, in an ideal world, I'd be making art for art's sake.
But we're not in that world. We're in the bad place, and you're actively making it worse. You're encouraging people to steal from people who are struggling just like you and calling it activism against billionaires or putting them in the same moral category as said billionaires as though we're not trapped in this system, same as you. Some of you are fellow fucking authors. And, like, my mind boggles at what it would take to stab a fellow creative in the back like that, but here we are.
Hell world.
#long post#vent post#publishing#author stuff I get#anyone clowning on this post gets put in the wood chipper
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đđđđ đđđ đ
đđđđđđ [đđđđđ đđđđđđ]
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PAIRINGS â James Wilson x fem!Reader
SUMMARY â It was never Reader's plan to be a single mother to a newborn child, but a longtime friend steps in and before long they both have the family they've always wanted, the only catch: they're still just friends
WORD COUNT â 13.6K
WARNINGS â mentions of pregnancy and birth, breastfeeding (like non descriptive? does this need to be a warning?)
NOTE â Okay this fic has been in the works for a while and I have been swamped with school so I'm so happy I'm finally able to post something because it's literally been a full-ass month since I last came out with anything ._. hoping once finals are over I can get back into my writing groove and give some of my ideas the attention they deserve!
Middle photo credit goes to @shots-of-wilson-and-whiskey
âAre you sure this is okay?â you looked back while holding a baby carrier in both hands.Â
âLike I told you back at the hospital, and in the car, and then again in the car, I promise this is okay,â James assured you, following right behind, bags under each arm. âYou just went through a 40 hour labour, did you really think it would be a smart move to come home alone?â
He was right about that, physically you were exhausted, you were sure how much longer you could keep your eyes open.Â
âGo take a shower, Iâll look after her until you get out,â he suggested. âIf you had a support person here you would have taken shifts.â
âI know, but you have a life James,â you sighed. âOne that didnât involve your friend getting pregnant and then taking care of her.â
âWould it make it any better if I told you I really donât mind? I like spending time with you, itâs why weâve been friends for so long,â he put the bags down by the table and then placed a hand on your shoulder.Â
âJames, I love you, but Iâm going to be brutally honest because my filter has vanished. This is what happens to all your wives, all your girlfriends. I really donât need that happening to us too,â you said.Â
âIt wonât,â he pressed. âCome on, just take the shower. I know you want to.â
You sighed, âAlright, but Iâm not gonna call for you to come in the middle of the night and every which time of day. If you want to come and see us, do it of your own accord and if you donât want to then donât,â you emphasized. âDo what you want, not what you think I want.â
âIf I say I will, will you go take a shower?â James asked and you rolled your eyes at him.Â
âDonât drop my baby while Iâm in there, okay?â you pointed at him. âYou still owe me for that vase you broke.âÂ
âYou mean the tacky one your crappy ex-boyfriendâs mom gave you? I think I did you a favour there.âÂ
âYouâre insufferable sometimes, you know?â you said carefully putting the carrier down in the living room and looking down at your resting daughter for a moment before heading towards your room.Â
âI love you too,â he said simply, replacing you by her side and keeping a close eye on her while she slept.Â
You had to admit, it was a relief to be able to step into the shower, knowing there was someone you trusted outside looking after the small human you were now fully responsible for. At least before dealing with the stress and everything that would come afterwards youâd be able to be clean.Â
When you came out of your bedroom after your shower, dressed in the most comfortable clothes you could find lying around, you saw James in the kitchen, the carrier now propped up on the table while he unpacked something from some grocery bags.Â
âI was craving Indian, do you want some?â he asked.Â
âOf course I do, the food at your hospital sucks, hand it over,â you put your hand out and he gave you a bowl so you could serve yourself some rice and curry. âSheâs still asleep?âÂ
âWoke up once, but I got her to fall back asleep pretty easily. She might get hungry soon though too.âÂ
âSo I should eat while I still have the chance,â you sat down at the island and began munching on the food, turning around the carrier so you could see your daughter.Â
It was interesting, sheâd been around only for a short few days but you could barely ever take your eyes off her.Â
âDid you pick a name for her yet?â James asked, leaning over the table and eating his portion of dinner.Â
âI think so,â you nodded. âI was between two when she was born, but now that I look at her she fits one better than the other.âÂ
âSo whatâs the winner?âÂ
âLiana,â you smiled and brushed your fingers along her small curled toes. âIt suits her doesnât it?âÂ
âI think it does,â he nodded. âYou made a pretty cute baby.âÂ
âI made a very cute baby, thank you very much,â you scoffed with a chuckle. âYou think you could do better?âÂ
âWell I donât have a uterus so I donât think weâll ever be able to find out,â he shook his head. âShame, I probably would have demolished you.âÂ
âAs if,â you laughed, continuing to eat more food just as Liana began to stir awake. âAnd thereâs my cue.âÂ
You stood up and carefully took her out of the carrier, cautious of supporting her neck before moving over to the couch where you could comfortably feed her.Â
âOnce youâre done Iâll burp her,â James said. âSo you can keep eating.âÂ
âSure,â you nodded. âGot practice from your med school days?âÂ
âYeah, actually,â he nodded. âI thought originally I might specialize in working in the NICU so I spent a lot of time in the maternity ward.âÂ
âWhat made you change your mind?â you asked.Â
âI would have burnt out,â he admitted. âSeeing babies and spending time with them is one thing, but seeing them sick and sometimes not get better? Itâs a lot harder than youâd imagine.âÂ
You hummed thoughtfully, âYou would have been good in that department if you decided to go that route. I think at least.âÂ
âReally, why do you think so?âÂ
âJames, youâve always been great with kids and parents. Donât you remember how we met?âÂ
He chuckled to himself, âSummer camp days. Yeah, you really did have to know your way around both.âÂ
âYou somehow managed, as a nineteen-year-old, to calm a child who was freaking out about staying away from home and dealing with an unhappy parent of a different child. I think your people skills just got better as you got older.âÂ
âI donât think thereâs much in life that trains you to deal with crises as much as being a camp counsellor.âÂ
âYou can test your skills with Liana and see if youâve still got the magic when it comes to babies,â you teased, followed by a yawn.Â
âTrust me, I definitely do,â he assured you. âBabies love me.â
âAnd do you love babies?â
âI do, and I think Iâm gonna end up loving yours a little more than most,â he admitted.Â
âGood, sheâs gonna need it,â you sighed. âIâm gonna need it.â
There was a pause for a moment before James spoke up again,
âHave you talked to him since the break up?â he asked and you shook your head, feeling the tears develop in your eyes.Â
âI donât really want to talk about it, not right now,â you whispered, looking down at Liana again.Â
James did not peg your boyfriend as the abandoning type, but after he had coaxed the news out of you during one of your visits, he could see how much it crushed you to think of what lied ahead. Not because you didnât want a child, but because Liana was all you wanted and you thought you were on the same page as your partner, but when it came down to things he couldnât hold up the mask heâd been wearing any longer.Â
âYou should talk about it sometime though, right?â James said softly. âDoesnât have to be with me, but youâve been so laser focused on getting through the past nine months you havenât really processed what happened.â
Liana had since finished feeding and you carried her over to the kitchen island, passing James a burp cloth that he could drape across his shoulder before taking her from your hands, after you pressed a small kiss to her forehead.Â
âNot sure if I want to process it,â you admitted. âIâd rather focus on her.â
âAnd Iâd rather you take care of yourself so you donât crash and burn,â he said.Â
You knew he was right, but it was nicer to pretend you were alone from start to finish than even imagining the possibility that someone was supposed to be with you through everything. The doctors appointments, the morning sickness, the preparation.Â
Instead you ended up feeling like a burden to your friends who had gone out of their way to help you and be there for you.Â
âOkay,â you nodded simply. âIâll do it for you and her then.â
âItâll end up being for you in the end,â he assured. âBut justâŚtrust me on this okay?â
âI do,â you smiled. âJust like I trust you with her.â
You finished eating your dinner while James took care of Liana and even managed to get her to go back to sleep. It seemed that even though sheâd only been in the world a short while, she felt just as safe in his arms as she did in yours.
âYou can put her down if you want. I have a cot set up in my room,â you pointed.Â
âIâm alright like this,â he shook his head. âIâll hold her until youâre done then Iâll leave you guys so you can get some sleep.â
Considering how hungry you were, it didn't take that much longer for you to finish eating and while you cleared up the dishes, James went and put Liana down in her bed and then gathered his things so he could give you some time alone.Â
âIâll see you around, James. Thanks for coming to help today,â you gave him a big hug and he held you tight in that way he would when he wanted to say something, but knew it should probably wait.Â
âAnytime,â he gave you an additional squeeze. âYouâre gonna be a great mom. You are a great mom already. Iâm really happy for you.âÂ
You couldnât bring yourself to say any words in response so you just nodded your head and held onto him tighter. After a moment he pulled away and pressed a quick kiss to your cheek.Â
âLove you, now go get some sleep.âÂ
âYouâve got it Dr. Wilson,â you saluted him.Â
You walked him out of the door and after closing it shut behind him you took a deep breath. It was going to be hard, but you could do it.Â
â
A few months laterâŚ
âDonât you have a life?â you yawned, bouncing Liana in your arms to try and get her to fall asleep.Â
âI mean I went bowling with House last night and I consistently stay late at work, and thatâs about it, so no,â James shook his head.Â
âSo you figured that coming and bothering me is a good use of your spare time.âÂ
âI wouldnât call it bothering,â James gave you a look. âI made you dinner.âÂ
âYeah you did, and unfortunately it was really good too,â you sighed. âSo you just want to hang out with me and Liana?â
âYeah, is that so hard to believe?â
âA little considering I always have baby vomit on me now,â you chuckled.Â
âIt brings out your eyes,â he teased. âHere, why donât I take her.â
âLast time I agreed to that you riled her up, which I didnât think was possible for a three month old,â you eyed him skeptically.Â
âI promise Iâll put her to sleep,â he crossed his heart.Â
âWrong religion, James,â you shook your head and he laughed.Â
âDo you want me to swear on the Torah?â
âIt would help,â you nodded.Â
âAlright, I swear on the Torah that I wonât rile her up.â
You reluctantly passed Liana over to James and scoffed when she almost immediately stopped fussing.Â
âSee,â he smiled and kissed her small nose while he rocked her gently, making her eyes slowly close as she fell asleep.Â
âYou two are in kahoots. Sheâs fine whenever youâre not around, but when you are itâs like she knows she can get passed off to you if sheâs fussy enough,â you laughed a little. âItâs cute though, I like how much she likes you.â
âMe too, why do you think I keep coming here?âÂ
âSo you came to visit, what do you want to do?â you asked. âMy plans were to clean the kitchen and do laundry, so not much more exciting than sitting around at home.â
âWhy donât you let me put her down then we can tackle the kitchen together. I mean I did make half of the mess there.â
âI wonât argue with you there,â you sighed and put your hands on your hips. âOkay, Iâm gonna throw a load in before you put her down.âÂ
It took a little bit for James to be confident Liana was fully asleep before putting her down in her cot and then meeting you again in the kitchen where you were packing up leftovers from dinner.Â
âHave you had many visitors?â James asked.Â
âWell, I do have this one guy that keeps coming around, about this tall, practicing oncology, I think heâs a little bit obsessed with me,â you joked.Â
âAside from me,â he shook his head and went over to the dishes.Â
âYeah, a few. My parents were here for a bit while you were out of town and then some of my friends have come around to help with a few things here and there and to meet Liana.â
âNice.â
âYou sound like you want to say something,â you looked back at him.Â
âItâs not too much having me over all the time, is it?â
âNo, not at all,â you shook your head. âYou know me, Iâd tell you if it was.â
âBecause I really do like spending time with you both. Itâs a lot nicer than going to an empty house at the end of the day,â he admitted. âSo if you donât mind, maybe I can keep bothering you and making a mess in your kitchen.â
âI think that would be okay,â you smiled.Â
You cleaned in silence for a bit before James began asking a few questions about Liana.Â
âShe had an appointment with her pediatrician recently, right? Everything went okay?â
âYeah, fit as a fiddle,â you sighed. âThank goodness.â
âHave you decided if youâre gonna use formula yet? Or will you wait it out?â
âI was actually going to ask you about this, whenever I ask anyone I think has an opinion Iâd like to hear they say I need to make the decision myself and then everyone I donât want to hear from seems to have something to say,â you chuckled. âWhat do you think? As a doctor?â
âI mean, if I were in your situation I might wait a bit longer, sheâs still pretty young and thereâs no real reason to switch over yet. I think a lot of people start maybe around 12 months and from what Iâve seen that works well,â he shrugged.Â
âThanks for giving me a straight answer,â you placed a hand on his arm. âI also donât know if I should try and take leave from work or hire a nanny, but I think I probably have to figure that one out myself.â
âDo you have enough savings to take the time off?â he asked.Â
âI get a few more months paid leave from the company I work for since I have seniority, but after that I have to figure out what to do. I think I have enough saved to last me some time, but Iâm going to have to go back eventually.â
James hummed thoughtfully.Â
âDo you wanna come up with solutions tonight or relax now that weâve finished cleaning?â he asked, motioning his head to the kitchen that was definitely in better shape than before.Â
âLetâs watch a movie or something, I donât think Iâve turned the TV on since Liana was born. Iâll fold the laundry when itâs done while we watch,â you said. âIâll figure something out later.â
âWe should watch, oh jeez whatâs that thing we started ages ago and never finished?â
âThe really bad soap?â you asked and he nodded, âOh yes, weâre definitely watching that.â
âOkay, you go get settled, Iâm gonna make some tea, do you want some?â
âSure, just make me whatever youâre having,â you nodded and grabbed the remote from under the pile of blankets on the couch, turning on the TV and trying to find the episodes you had recorded to watch later.Â
By the time James had finished making the tea, you had found the show and were just about to start it.Â
âHere,â James passed you the mug. âSo what was the last thing that happened?â
âI think the main guy was sleeping with the head nurse, right and then there was the whole thing with her being engaged to the other surgeon and then her sister was in a coma?âÂ
âWait, I thought the surgeon she was engaged to was sleeping with one of his patients?âÂ
âHe was,â you nodded. âIt was a whole thing.â
âAlright, just start it, Iâm sure Iâll remember more as we watch.â
James was very sorely mistaken, if anything heâd gotten more confused and you were absolutely no help because nothing was making sense anymore.Â
âWhat is up with the writing?â you asked. âLike did they just completely forget they had a whole storyline dedicated to this huge procedure and now theyâre acting like nothing happened.â
âDonât get me started, that guy was doing surgery without gloves, like that doesnât even take much effort to get right. Youâd think it was common sense,â James added.Â
âMaybe we should turn it off,â you looked over at your friend, âitâs getting us all riled up.â
James pressed his lips together, âI know, but I kind of want to find out whoâs the father of Paulaâs baby.â
You leaned back into the couch, you had managed to fold all the laundry, and it was still a little too early to go to sleep, you supposed a few more episodes couldnât hurt.Â
âIf I fall asleep, just lock up on your way out, okay?â you looked over at him and he nodded as you started the next episode.Â
Just as you predicted, about halfway through the second episode you began to drift off, and as soon as James noticed, he stopped the episode already having decided you could finish it together another time.Â
He shifted you slightly so you were lying down on the couch instead of in the uncomfortable position you were in before, placing a blanket over top of you. He leaned down and pressed a kiss to your cheek, wishing you a good night before going to check on Liana, and after seeing she was sleeping soundly and the baby monitor was on, he saw himself out, taking your spare key from where it was hidden on the porch and locking the door.Â
â
âHowâs my girl doing?â James grinned, scooping Liana out of your arms. âI havenât seen you in so long,â he kissed her nose making her giggle.Â
âJames, you were here two days ago,â you laughed.Â
âAnd it feels like an eternity.â
You crossed your arms over your chest, âSheâs got you wrapped around her finger.â
âI donât mind,â he shrugged. âJust as long as we get to spend time together.â
âYeah, well she hasnât napped yet so it can wait until after that,â you reached to take her back but James insisted he could put her to sleep. âJames, you just got off work are you sure you donât want to eat something or take a break for a bit?â
âThis is like a break for me,â he assured you.Â
âOkay, Iâm gonna make a salad, come out and eat when youâre done.â
James nodded and went off to the bedroom so he could sit on the armchair there and coax her to sleep.Â
Usually he didnât need more than twenty minutes to half an hour to put her down, so when you were hitting the forty-five minute mark you wondered if Liana was being fussy, so you went to check in on them, instead seeing James fast asleep on the armchair with Liana snuggled against his chest.Â
You bit back a big smile and went to go grab your camera quickly, and quietly snapped a shot of the two of them.Â
Not wanting to wake either of them, you made your way back to the kitchen, shutting the door of the room behind you to make sure the sound didnât travel.Â
Figuring it might be a while before James came back out, you decided to eat your dinner, that way you could take Liana from him when they woke up so he could get something to eat too.Â
As you had predicted, James exited the room about an hour later, Liana now awake and hungry for her own dinner.Â
âWant me to take her now?â you teased and he rolled his eyes while you took your baby from him, sitting on the couch to feed her while he grabbed himself something to eat. âYou had a good nap?â
âGreat actually, I think I needed it. Been pulling a lot of late nights at the office getting paperwork done,â he admitted. âIâm surprised you didnât wake me.â
âYou looked comfortable, I didnât want to bother you.â
âWell, I appreciate it cause I needed the sleep,â he sighed and came and sat next to you while he began to eat his dinner.Â
âJames, IâŚI tried to talk to him the other week,â you said, knowing he would be able to connect the dots back to your ex. âIâd been meaning to tell you, it just slipped my mind I guess.â
âYou didâŚwhat did he say?â
âGod, Iâm gonna start crying again,â you let out a humourless chuckle and lifted a hand to wipe away the tears beginning to form in your eyes. âIt doesnât matter what he said. What matters is that it was probably good that we broke up. He wouldnât have been a good father or husband for that matter when it came down to it.â
âIâm proud of you for reaching out anyways. It takes a lot of guts to do that after someone leaves you.â
You nodded your head, âIâm justâŚI know I said you should keep coming here because you want to, but I really do like having you around. It just makes it seem simpler. Easier,â you looked over at him. âYouâre a good friend Jamie, I love you.â
âLove you too,â he leaned over and pressed a kiss to your forehead, watching as your attention turned back to your daughter as she finished feeding.Â
You held her just like that in your arms for a little while longer, watching as she reached out for your fingers and then tried to go even further to grab James. Clearly her attention was addictive because he was ready to put his food down to help burp her, but you made a teasing remark about him hogging her and that he needed to eat his food so youâd take care of it and he could have her when he was done.Â
Eventually, you traded Liana for Jamesâ dishes and went to load the dishwasher while he kept her occupied, letting her gnaw on his tie while making all sorts of nonsensical baby noises that James took as conversation starters.Â
It was funny to watch the two have what looked like a full blown conversation and you were sure James had been reading some parenting magazine or another that spoke of helping babies develop linguistic abilities.Â
âHey James,â you crossed your arms over your chest, leaning against the wall.Â
âYeah?â
âDo you want a key?â
âA key to what?â he looked at you confused.Â
âThe house,â you said. âI just thought since youâre here all the time you can come and go whenever you want and if you forget something and Iâm out you can come get it yourself.â
âA key,â he thought about it. âThis feels like a big milestone moment.â
âI mean I already have the key to your place, but that was because you refused to have anyone look after you after you got your wisdom teeth removed.â
âWait, you have my key?âÂ
âYeah, I just took yours and had it copied,â you shrugged.Â
âI feel like I should be a bit more concerned about this, but Iâm not.â
âItâs because youâre friends with House, youâre used to it,â you waved him off.Â
âLiana, did you know your momâs a thief?â he looked down at the baby in his arms and you rolled your eyes.Â
âDo you want the key or not?âÂ
âIâll take it, and I guess you can keep mine, but Iâm never there anyways.â
âItâs okay, Iâll just use it if I need to steal your social insurance card to commit identity theft.â
âLiana banana, your momâs being very silly tonight,â James picked her up and held her out in front of him before bringing her down to press a few kisses to her face, making her giggle. âItâs okay, we still love mommy even though sheâs silly, right?â
âYou better,â you flicked his shoulder as you walked by after grabbing an ice cream sandwich from the freezer.Â
âHey, Iâve got something in my bag I forgot to give you, do you mind bringing it over here?â James asked, motioning to the briefcase on the armchair closest to the front door.Â
You nodded your head and stood up again to grab it and pass it to him. He rummaged through it with one hand while still holding Liana before passing you what looked like a receipt.Â
âUh thanks?â you looked a little confused.Â
âRead what itâs for,â James chuckled. âTheyâll get delivered next week.âÂ
âJames,â you put the receipt down. âYou didnât.âÂ
âYouâve been talking about it for four months, I had to do something,â he shrugged. âAnd I didnât get you anything for your baby shower.âÂ
âBecause you planned it,â you laughed. âSeriously this is a lot. I donât know if I can accept this.âÂ
âJust think of it this way. Iâm here all the time, we like to go out with Liana together and itâs a great stroller with good safety ratings.âÂ
âOkay sure youâll use that, but the cot too?âÂ
âThe one you have in thereâs been recalled, I was just doing you a favour,â he said.Â
You chuckled a little, pressing your lips together. âLiana, my darling, we are very spoiled.âÂ
âIâll come over when it gets delivered and help set it up,â James said.Â
âI still donât know what to say, James, this isâŚreally generous of you.âÂ
âBelieve me, right now nothing makes me happier, and I mean that,â he reached out a hand to you and you took it, giving it a gentle squeeze.Â
As promised, the next week James was back at your home to help set up the stroller and the cot and you figured it would be the right time to pull out that camcorder your father had gotten you to help record some memories you were making with Liana.Â
âHey, James wanna tell the camera what youâre doing?âÂ
âWondering why I didnât get a degree in engineering apparently.â he mumbled while hunched over some instructions, a pencil behind his ear and his sleeves rolled up to his elbows.Â
âWhat does your assistant think?â you moved the camera over to Liana, sitting in a rocking seat that was propped up next to James.Â
âThat this video isnât going to be very good for my image in the future. This stuff is worse than IKEA,â he scratched the back of his head.Â
âYouâre doing great,â you assured him and came to give him an encouraging side hug. âAlright, let me stop this video and we can try and tackle it together.âÂ
You put the camera down on the bed and looked over the instructions with James, having a bit of an easier time piecing things together compared to him, so in the end you were put on deciphering the instructions while he assembled the cot.Â
An embarrassing amount of time later, the cot was completely assembled (only after having to disassemble it all the first time because there was one piece left over and you had no idea what step you had missed using it), and you carefully placed Liana inside to see how it would hold up.Â
âYou know they say you can be proud of something you built with your own two hands, but Iâm afraid this is going to fall apart,â James said.Â
âWe followed the instructions really carefully, it should be fine,â you said, trying to convince yourself. âAnd Liana looks comfortable in there, look at her sheâs giggling.âÂ
âI think thatâs because we look like weâve been building a house or something,â he looked between you, seeing your dirty clothes and messed up hair.Â
âWho knew putting together a cot would be so labour intensive,â you chuckled. âI think we can safely say we deserve some takeout. What do you want?âÂ
âAnything, Iâm starving,â James sat down on the edge of the bed. âYou think this will help her sleep a little better?âÂ
âLetâs hope so,â you rubbed your temples. âYou coming?â you asked, taking Liana out of the cot and carrying her out towards the door.Â
âYeah, Iâll be out in a minute,â he nodded and you left him in the room, staring at the wooden babyâs bed in front of him. It was a simple thing you had both made together, but for James, it was starting to feel like so much more than just that.Â
You built a cot, but what did building a cot mean? What did it mean that he bought it for you without a second question or a momentâs hesitation? What did it mean that he couldnât seem to wipe the smile off his face every single time he stepped into this house?Â
It probably meant a lot of things, but at the moment, to James, it felt like he had a family and heâd hold onto that for as long as he was able to.Â
â
As much as you wished it could be, not every day was easy. Today was one of those days at the end of a long week and you wanted nothing more than to collapse and call it quits.Â
Something was wrong with Liana, she was never this fussy, but all the doctors would just repeat the same thing over and over again.Â
She has colic.Â
You have a colic-y baby.Â
Your baby has colic. Sheâs going to be fine.
She didnât sound fine. Not when she would cry and cry and you didnât know what was happening or how to make her feel better. It made your heart feel tight and constricted especially when all you could do was bounce and rock her in hopes that it might soothe whatever was going on inside her.Â
You were so focused on the sounds of the crying baby you didnât hear the door unlock as James entered the house. After putting down his bags, he followed the sound of the crying before finding you in the rocking chair in your room, gently hushing Liana to try and coax her back to sleep.Â
âJames,â you tried to stand up when you noticed he was there, but he rushed over to your side, placing a hand on your shoulder and encouraging you to sit back down. âIâm afraid weâre not really having a fun day today. You might want to just go home and rest,â you suggested.Â
âWhatâs going on?â he asked.Â
âJames, Iâm serious I-,âÂ
âHey,â he said gently, quieting you as a hand came to hold your cheek. âTalk to me, mom. Whatâs happening?âÂ
You pressed your lips together and shook your head.Â
âI donât know,â you let the tears spill from your eyes, just as they were for Liana, but you basked in the comfort Jamesâ simple action offered. âShe just keeps crying and I donât know whatâs wrong. T-They kept saying she has colic, but this isnât colic, James.âÂ
He nodded his head and wiped away your tears while trying to think of a solution to the problem in front of you.Â
âI have an idea, just give me a second, Iâll be right back.âÂ
James went off to the kitchen and came back with a bit of a white powder on his finger. He helped you sit Liana up before getting her to eat a little bit of it.Â
âWhat is that?âÂ
âJust baking soda. I saw this in a few babies. Doctors think itâs colic, but itâs reflux. Have you been eating anything different from usual?â he asked.Â
âMe?âÂ
âYeah, it might be something sheâs allergic to getting in the breast milk,â he explained while rubbing Lianaâs back. âHere let me take her so you can have a break. Go to the kitchen, get some water and write down a list of what youâve been eating recently and weâll go over it and see if we can find anything that lines up with her fussiness.âÂ
âAre you sure?âÂ
âIâll survive,â he nodded.Â
You passed over your baby to him and made your way out of the room, following Jamesâ suggestion and noticing how with a little bit of time her crying had quieted down and instead was replaced by softer sniffles and a much nicer sound. It drew you away from the list you were leaning over and back to the door of the bedroom where you leaned in the frame and watched and listened while James, with his back turned to you, sang a soft lullaby to Liana.Â
I love you forever, Iâll like you for always, as long as Iâm living, my baby youâll be.
Over and over like a prayer until Lianaâs sniffles had faded and there was only silence.Â
He carefully put her back in her bed, waiting a few moments to make sure she was really sleeping, before turning back and seeing you standing in the doorway.Â
When he made his way up to you, you reached out and pulled him into as tight of a hug as youâd ever given him. You held onto the sleeves of your shirt while one arm came under his and across his back with the other around his neck, holding him as close to you as you possibly could.Â
âYou okay?â James asked and you nodded your head, silently while a few more tears streamed down your face.Â
âI will be.âÂ
âI-,â James faltered for a moment, but he said it anyway. âI love you.âÂ
âI love you too.âÂ
Three words he had said so many times, that had meant a particular thing when he said them to you, but now he couldnât help but feel like they meant something a little different.Â
You both stayed like that a moment longer before you pulled apart, wiping away your tears and going back to your list to see if Jamesâ theory could be correct.Â
âMaybe try cutting these ones out of your diet,â he suggested. âSee if she gets any better and if not call me and Iâll get her an appointment with one of the pediatricians at the hospital.âÂ
âOkay,â you nodded. âI just donât get why they kept saying colic like is that just some doctor term for I donât know whatâs wrong, but your baby is fussy?âÂ
âI donât know,â James shook his head, âbut donât ever let anyone bully you into not trusting your gut. Sheâs your daughter and you know her best.âÂ
âYou seem to know her pretty well too. You took one look at her and managed to help her when I couldnât,â you pinched the bridge of your nose.Â
âCoincidence,â he patted your shoulder.Â
âGive yourself a little credit. Youâre with her a lot too, itâs part of why I trust your judgement so much when it comes to her. I know youâre not just going to tell me some medical mumbo jumbo youâŚyouâre with her, you see how she is, you know.âÂ
âI donât know how you managed to hold it together so well,â James said. âI was in there with her for twenty minutes and I wanted to cry right with her.âÂ
âItâs so hard,â you shook your head. âYou can tell sheâs uncomfortable, that somethingâs wrong, but she canât tell you what.âÂ
James nodded his head, âBefore you know it sheâll be walking and talking and hopefully itâll be a lot easier to understand what she needs.âÂ
âItâs hard to imagine that,â you chuckled. âShe is growing so fast though.âÂ
âAnd youâre doing a great job,â James wrapped an arm around your shoulder and you took a deep breath. You wanted to correct him and say âweâre doing a great jobâ, but everything about this felt so delicate. It wasnât his responsibility to parent Liana and you didnât want to pressure him into thinking that it had become that, but regardless you felt like heâd been around so much it would be wrong to give yourself full credit for everything.Â
âIt takes a village,â you settled on saying, extending your arm so it was wrapped around him as well. âSpeaking of a village, I need to hire a nanny.âÂ
âSo youâre going to go back to work?â he asked and you nodded.Â
âJust part time for now. Pay is good enough. I should be fine with that for a while.âÂ
âGood,â James nodded. âDo you need help going through resumes?âÂ
âNah, Janine is taking care of that for me, her boyfriend works with the police so free background checks. Sheâs gonna send me a short list and then Iâll interview them.âÂ
You looked up at James and chuckled,Â
âYou seem surprised.âÂ
âI didnât know you outsourced to other people too,â he teased.Â
âAre you jealous, Jamie?â you tickled his sides a little bit. âCome on, you know youâre my number one. Can you seriously tell me you could have gotten police-level background checks on nannies?âÂ
âI could have tried.âÂ
âI appreciate the sentiment, but Iâm gonna save you from this job so you can help me with other stuff, okay?â you turned him around and patted his chest. âI love you, James, but you canât do it all. I have to look out for you too.âÂ
âYou donât have to look after me,â he assured you. âYouâve got a lot on your plate, I can take care of myself.âÂ
âJames, thatâs the whole point of this,â you pointed between you. âIâm not about to let it be one-sided.âÂ
âIs that why you keep packing me lunches?â he asked.Â
âMaybe,â you shrugged. âAnd it's kind of fun leaving you little notes.âÂ
âHouse thinks Iâm seeing someone because of what you put in the last one. He steals my food, you know.âÂ
âIâll just pack double next time,â you laughed.Â
James smiled at the sound of your laughter, savouring the moment of levity he was able to bring you after a long and hard few days.Â
You looked back up at him once your laughter had died down and filled with a quiet sense of gratitude, you could help but lean into his side, sighing contentedly and it made you feel warm to the touch when his arm wrapped around you and pulled you in closer.Â
Things may not have been simple or easy, but at least they felt right.
â
James was just about to leave his office to get some food in the cafeteria when he heard the phone ring, keeping him seated at his desk so he could answer.Â
âHello, Oncology Department. Dr. James Wilson speaking.â
âJames, itâs me,â you said quickly, almost like you were in a hurry.Â
âIs something wrong?â he asked.Â
âNothing dire,â you sighed. âMy nanny got sick and my backup nanny is out of town and I have this huge meeting at work I cannot miss, but I-I donât have anyone to look after Liana. I hate to ask this, you know I wouldnât bug you unless it was a real emergency, but can I bring her by? Just for two maybe three hours tops. Then Iâll come grab her and she can be in my office with me for the rest of the day.â
âYeah, of course, bring her over,â James nodded. âI have a few patient consults today, but nothing too strenuous or contagious for a small baby.â
âJames, are you sure? I feel really bad asking-,â
âItâs fine. Today was going to be boring anyway, I could use some Liana time to spice things up.â
âJames, I love you, youâre a lifesaver,â you breathed a sigh of relief. âI owe you one okay? Cash it in whenever.â
âIâll keep that in mind,â he chuckled. âIâm gonna go grab a quick bite to eat. Iâll meet you in my office when you come.â
âGreat, see you then.â
You both hung up and when James came back upstairs you were just arriving at his office with Liana strapped in her car seat and a bag slung around your shoulder.Â
âOkay, Iâve got snacks, and a carrier, and her toys, and-,â
âGoodness, take a breath,â James chuckled. âWeâre gonna be fine, Iâve looked after her before.âÂ
âI know, I know. Iâm just nervous about this meeting and rushing around to get everything prepped and then the nannies fell through,â you took a deep breath to try and slow your heart down and James put a hand on your shoulder assuring you everything was going to be alright.Â
âYouâre gonna kill it at that meeting, alright?â he pulled you in for a quick hug.Â
âThanks again, I seriously appreciate and love you and your big fat heart.âÂ
âThanks, I think,â he chuckled again. âI love you too.â
You kissed your hand and tapped it on his cheek before doing the same for Liana who smiled and James took a moment to stare out the door and watch you as you left the room, still feeling his heart beating a little faster after having said I love you.Â
Ever since the day he came over when Liana was having a hard time, his heart would race and his palms would get sweaty every time heâd say those three words, knowing he meant it in a different way than he had been saying it all these years.Â
âLiana banana, what am I gonna do,â James sighed and bent down so he was at eye level with her. âDo you think your mom knows?â
Liana babbled a response.Â
âMe neither,â he sighed. âItâs okay though, cause weâre gonna have a fun day right?â
He unclipped her from the seat after fastening the baby carrier to his back to begin with before propping her up and clipping her inside.Â
Once he was content with that, he checked the time and noticed he was almost late for a meeting with a patient who was staying at the hospital for treatment.Â
James made his way down the halls, knowing not many would question him about the baby on his back, that was aside from his boss who now seemed to be walking directly towards him.Â
He quickly took a detour into an empty room and thinking he lost her, let out a breath only to be startled when the door opened and Cuddy was standing in front of him.Â
âWilson,â she started.Â
âMhmm.â
âWhatâs on your back?â she asked, trying to get a better look, but James simply turned around.
âOh itâs just a backpack,â he lied, only to be immediately ratted out by Lianaâs nonsensical sounds.Â
âYou have a talking backpack?â Cuddy looked at him skeptically.Â
âNo, itâs a tumour. Iâm dying,â he lied again, even more poorly than before.
Cuddy sighed, âAre we gonna get sued for it?âÂ
James pressed his lips together and shook his head.Â
âWill someone get mad at you for it?â
He shook his head again.
âIs House involved?â
A third time.Â
âOkay,â she nodded slowly. âI wonât question yourâŚtalking backpack tumour.â
James nodded his head and Cuddy left the room which hopefully meant he was in the clear for the rest of the day.Â
Liana had other ideas and decided she didnât like being in the carrier on his back anymore and began to cry. James wondered what was different, heâd done this with her before, but perhaps it was the new environment and she just wanted to be where she could see him.
So after some maneuvering, he changed the positioning of the carrier and put Liana back inside and she seemed much more relaxed afterwards.Â
When he got to his patient he apologized for being late, but they were more focused on the child that James had yet to introduce.Â
âSorry, Iâm a little all over the place right now,â he chuckled. âThis is Liana, sheâs going to be joining us today.â
âIs she your daughter?â he asked, seeing the way James smiled and held her when he introduced her.Â
âNo,â James shook his head. âSheâs the daughter of one of my close friends. Iâm just doing her a favour today.â
âEither way, itâs always nice to see someone smiling and happy around here.â
âYeah, I thought so too,â James nodded.Â
âHow old is she?â
âSix months as of two weeks ago.â
âThey grow fast, donât they?â
James smiled and nodded, âThey sure do.â
They continued their consult, and before long James wrapped things up and headed back to his office to meet with another patient.Â
This time around he was feeding and burping Liana throughout the meeting and it felt so much like second nature to him, it didnât take him away at all from the questions the patient was asking, and much like he expected, having a baby in the room was a nice distraction from the heavy subject matter.Â
He got through the next few patients with ease, and he felt lucky that House only decided to come in after all his meetings were over.Â
âIs that a baby?â House squinted, looking at Liana who was calmly playing with a toy in Jamesâ lap.Â
âNo, itâs an alien,â he deadpanned and House ignored his comment.Â
âWhy do you have a baby? That must be breaking some hospital rule.â
âSince when do you care about rules?â
âCause rules are there to protect us,â House said sarcastically. âIs this the one you spend all your free time with?â
âHer name is Liana,â James said while standing up and moving to put her in her car seat for a moment. âHouse, Iâm gonna ask you to do something and Iâm going to trust that you wonât blow this up in my face.â
âGo on.â
âI need to use the washroom, but youâve seen the way they get cleaned here, I donât want to bring Li with me,â he said. âCan you watch her for five minutes? You donât even have to do anything, just stare at her in the carrier.â
House thought about it for a moment before eventually agreeing, James completely oblivious to his friendâs ulterior motive.
House first sat across from her, turning her car seat around on the table so it was facing him. They stared at each other for a few moments before House stood up and grabbed a picture from one of Jamesâ shelves, sitting back down in front of her.Â
âYouâre probably too young to do this, but never too young to learn, right?â
Liana had no response.Â
âYou see this guy?â House pointed to James in the photo. âHeâs dada, right?â
House continued to prompt her, even though he knew she was too young to speak, thinking this would make a great prank if he played his cards right.Â
House continued to go back and forth with Liana between her babbles, until he heard James begin to open the door of the office.Â
âEverything okay?â he asked.Â
âPerfect,â House nodded. âYour daughterâs an angel.âÂ
James frowned, unable to tell if House was being sarcastic or not, but he was quickly distracted by the frame in his hand.
âWhy do you have that picture?â James came closer and took it from him.
âOh, just trying to pass the time with a story.âÂ
âThe story of what exactly? This is just a picture of me with my parents.âÂ
âI donât know I made something up, sheâs a baby, she wonât remember,â House insisted before leaving the office before James could ask any more questions.Â
A little confused by the encounter, he made his way over to Liana who was reaching out for him.Â
He checked the time, seeing as your meeting should probably have been over by then and decided to give you a call.Â
âHey, I was just about to come and pick Liana up,â you said.Â
âYeah, about that, do you just want to leave her with me for the rest of the day?â he asked. âSheâs been really good and honestly I think the patients have been loving seeing a baby around.âÂ
âJames, itâs fine, my meeting is over. I can come get her,â you said.Â
James pressed his lips together before gathering the nerve to say what he was going to say.Â
âI actually would really like it if she could stay with me,â he said. âIf youâre okay with it.â
You paused, âThis isnât just some round about way for you to find a way to give me a break?â you asked.Â
âNo, Iâm really happy sheâs here. I was going to come over after work anyways.âÂ
âYou still have the car seat hookup in your car?â you asked and he confirmed. âOkay, call me if you need anything, Jamie.âÂ
âI will, and thank you.âÂ
âJust donât break her, okay, sheâs not replaceable,â you teased.Â
âIâll bring her back in one piece,â James chuckled. âWeâll be fine, right Li?âÂ
James gave her a little tickle so that you could hear her laugh in response and you couldn't help but smile before saying goodbye and feeling more at ease leaving her with James than you ever had leaving her with a babysitter.Â
â
It always felt interesting coming back to Princeton-Plainsboro after you had given birth to Liana. It brought back a lot of memories, both good and maybe not so great of your pregnancy, but recently you and Liana had been visiting a little more often to have lunch with James when you werenât working.Â
Today wasnât one of those days, you were actually just on your way back home after running a few errands and since you were in the area you thought you might stop in and talk to James about that evening.Â
When you went by his office you peeked inside and noticed he wasnât there and before you could decide the best course of action, you heard a semi familiar voice behind you.Â
âYou looking for Wilson?âÂ
You turned around and saw House standing in front of you.Â
âYeah, actually. Do you know where he is?âÂ
âI think he just went to Cuddyâs office,â he said.Â
âAlright, Iâll head back downstairs then,â you smiled and were about to haul Lianaâs car seat with you, but House stopped you.Â
âIf you want I can look after her in my office,â he said.
âReally?â you seemed a little surprised from the offer, but figured it couldnât be too bad to leave her with him for five minutes.Â
âSure,â House nodded, making it seem like it was no big deal, when really he had already pocketed a picture of James and was looking for another opportunity to continue his prank.Â
âAlright, Iâll be back in a few minutes,â you said while walking over to his office and putting her car seat on the main table before walking down the hallways and over to the elevator to go and find James, but just to your luck, he was coming out just as you had planned to enter. âHey, I was looking for you,â you smiled.Â
âOh, I didnât realize you were coming, did we make plans?â he asked, worried heâd forgotten about something.Â
âNo, I was just in the area and, well my mom and dad are coming over for dinner tonight, I was wondering if you wanted to join us.âÂ
âDinner sounds nice,â James nodded. âAnd I havenât seen your parents in a while, I just seem to miss them every time they come into town.âÂ
âYeah, thatâs why I thought Iâd ask, also maybe as a warning in case you wanted to get as far away as you could,â you chuckled.Â
âCome on, theyâre not that bad,â he nudged you.Â
âMost of the time, but then again, youâre not their child.âÂ
âWait, whereâs Liana?â James asked. âWith a sitter at home?âÂ
âNo, I left her with House.âÂ
Jamesâ eyes went wide, âYou left her with House?â
âYeah, whatâs the big deal?â you chuckled as James began to walk towards Houseâs office to make sure he wasnât up to one of his many schemes. âJames he offered!â you called back and that only made him walk faster.Â
It took you a minute to catch up with him, but by that time he was already interrogating House who was simply sitting in front of Liana.Â
âCan't I offer to look after my friendâs friendâs baby?â House asked.Â
âUsually someone could, but when that person is you you may see why I think you have some ulterior motive.âÂ
âJames whatâs going on?â you asked, coming closer to House. âLianaâs fine, I donât know why youâre being so dramatic.âÂ
âYeah, listen to single mom over here,â he pointed to you.Â
James backed off if only for your sake, but he still kept a close eye on House as you picked up Lianaâs car seat and told James youâd see him after his shift was over.Â
He nodded his head and you exchanged a kiss on the cheek before heading out.Â
âYouâre really telling me youâre not getting some of that on the side?â House asked.Â
âHouse, drop it,â James was unamused. âI know youâre up to something, I just donât know what.âÂ
âI guess youâre just going to have to wait and find out,â House shrugged. âIn the meantime may I suggest you go get your freak on with the mom? You know she probably hasnât slept with anyone since that kid was conceived, Iâm sure youâd have an easy time convincing her.âÂ
âShut up, House,â James rolled his eyes and left the office before he could suggest anything more obscene.Â
He was thankful when the end of his shift came, and before heading to your place he made a stop at the store to buy some flowers and dessert to bring over.Â
By this point, it was such a habit, he never knocked, just opened the door with his key and announced his presence to whoever was in the house.Â
âHey Liana, look whoâs here,â you smiled and pointed to James while Liana was being held by your mother.Â
Liana became very excited at the sight of him and he quickly put down the things he brought on the table before saying his greetings and giving special attention to Liana by means of a kiss on her nose and caress of her face.Â
âDo you want something to drink?â you asked. âMom and dad brought some fancy-looking sparkling fruit juice.âÂ
âI could go for some of that,â James nodded. âHow have you guys been, I missed you the last time you were in town.âÂ
âWeâve been good,â your dad nodded.Â
âUnfortunately our granddaughter doesnât come to visit us very much,â your mom gave you a bit of a look and you rolled your eyes.Â
âMom, you guys are retired, I have a job, why donât we keep this âyou visit meâ arrangement a while longer until my life sorts itself out a bit more.âÂ
âSheâs not wrong, honey,â your dad came and patted his wifeâs shoulder.Â
âI know, I just wish we got to see Liana more. We should come down more often.âÂ
âWhat about you, James, anything new in your life?âÂ
James looked over at you before shaking his head.Â
âNo, still working at the same place stillâŚâÂ
âTrying to find the right person,â you filled in for him, placing a hand on his shoulder and handing him his drink.Â
âYeah,â he nodded with a soft smile and couldnât help but laugh a little internally at the irony. Maybe the right person had been there all along, the person heâd never once pulled away from, the person he let take care of him, the person who heâd realized heâd most definitely fallen in love with, but risking things between you was out of the question so he would have to be content with the way things were.Â
âYouâre the head of your department, right?â your mom asked and James nodded. âWow, thatâs quite something, your parents must be proud of you.âÂ
âYes, it never fails to come up in conversation with my mother,â he chuckled.Â
Liana began to fuss a little bit in her grandmotherâs arms and after a few failed attempts at calming her down James offered to take over.Â
âAre you sure, honey?â she asked. âShe gets a bit cranky and itâs hard to calm her down.âÂ
âDonât worry mom, James is an expert,â you assured her.Â
James nodded and confirmed he was sure before gently bouncing Liana until she stopped crying and wiping away whatever tears of hers were remaining.Â
âShe seems very attached to you,â your dad remarked and James looked down at Liana who now had her head resting against his chest.Â
âThe feelingâs quite mutual,â James chuckled. âDoes she need to be fed?â he asked you.Â
âYeah weâre probably getting close to that time now, Iâll warm up the bottle. Maybe I can feed her and you can deal with the sauce on the stove, itâs missing something and I canât place it.âÂ
âSure,â James nodded and waited for you to heat up Lianaâs bottle before passing her over and taking a turn at the stove.Â
Your parents watched your interactions curiously and shared a few looks between themselves, but chose to say nothing. Theyâd known James since you were both nineteen and a lot of things had happened since then, but a lot of time had passed too. It was interesting how your comfort with each other in friendship had so naturally extended itself in this way that you were practically functioning as a family whether you noticed it, or maybe deliberately chose to ignore it.Â
After you fed Liana and burped her, she was quick to fall asleep and you placed her in her cot in your room before joining James and your parents in the kitchen where they were bringing things to the dining room to lay them out on the table.
âThis looks really delicious sweetheart, thank you for making dinner,â your dad said. âAnd you too James for taking over there in the home stretch.âÂ
âFor all we know it could have tasted terrible before he came in so he can take the credit for that,â you chuckled.Â
âNo, I gave it a taste before adding anything. It just needed a little something sour to balance some things out, otherwise it was perfect,â he assured you.Â
Dinner with your parents was mostly small talk. They shared a little about some of your relatives they had recently spoken to or visited and asked James how his family was doing and they left fairly early to start the drive back home.Â
âIâll load the dishes you put away the leftovers?â James yawned and you chuckled.Â
âHow about I do both since I had a day off and you go and lay down for a bit,â you suggested.Â
âI donât know what youâre talking about Iâm fine,â James waved his hand but yawned again.Â
âGo to sleep, James. Thatâs not a suggestion,â you walked up to him. âMy ex left some sweatpants here you can change into those and take off this button up,â you tugged at his shirt.Â
James pressed his lips together and nodded his head, before heading over to the bedroom and quietly getting changed before climbing into bed and not fighting the sleep that came.Â
He initially wasnât sure how much later it was when he woke up, but by the looks of it much too late to go come considering you were next to him, despite being groggy, he had a million and one things crossing his mind, but all of those were thrown out when he heard Liana begin to cry.Â
You shifted next to him, waking up to go and take care of it, but James put an arm on your shoulder.Â
âIâve got it, go back to sleep,â he assured you.Â
You were too tired to argue with him and let your head hit the pillow again while he stood up and picked Liana up from her crib, heading out to the kitchen so he could heat up a bottle for her before coming back and sitting in the chair to feed her.Â
You watched the scene in front of you and you felt yourself wanting to memorize every detail. How he held her, the quiet things he whispered, the way she curled into his arms while he stood up and rocked her back to sleep.Â
When he came back to the bed he noticed you were awake and he let out a soft chuckle and you smiled looking up at him with his messy hair. Suddenly you were nineteen again and banging on the door of cabin 3 trying to wake your fellow counsellor to come and deal with an emergency. To you he looked the same as he did all those years ago.Â
âI told you to go back to sleep.âÂ
âNot everyone can fall asleep instantly,â you yawned with a chuckle.Â
âYou didnât wake me up to leave,â he said quietly, his head resting on his hand that propped him up.Â
âYou always look so peaceful when you sleep, I feel evil whenever I have to wake you up,â you remarked, but behind your eyes if he could see through the darkness of the room, he would have seen them saying something else. That you wanted him to stay, you didnât want to wake him up because you wanted to wake up next to him. âYou donât mind do you?âÂ
âThat youâre making me do the walk of shame in the morning?â James teased and shook his head.Â
âJust shut up and go back to sleep, Jamie,â you yawned with a chuckle.Â
He moved so he was laying down on his back with an arm behind his head and you couldnât tear your eyes away from him. Maybe he could feel you staring because he reached his other arm out and pulled you closer and you moved with him until your head rested against his chest, your arm draped over top of him.Â
He gave you a gentle squeeze with the arm that was wrapped around you and pressed a kiss to the top of your head.Â
âGoodnight, Jamie,â you mumbled into his shirt.Â
You couldnât see how he looked down and smiled at you after you said that, all that filled your ears was a quiet, âGoodnight.â
â
âI havenât seen you in a few days, how have you been?âÂ
James sat on the carpet of the living room, playing with Liana who was crawling around him while you brought over two mugs of tea so you could chat while you entertained the growing baby.Â
âGood for the most part, just had a patient who wasnât doing so great so I spent some extra time at the hospital to keep an eye on things. Not to mention House has been bugging me to go out and itâs been a while so I figured whatâs the harm.â
âHe got you plastered and you made a fool of yourself, didnât he?â you asked and James nodded while you laughed. âLiana, did James go out with House and act like an idiot?â you tickled the ten month old and she giggled before coming closer to you, tapping on your legs with her hands.Â
âDonât listen to your mama, Li, sheâs trying to-,â
âMama,â Liana repeated after James had spoken and you both stopped dead in your tracks.Â
You looked over at James and his smile was just as wide as yours before you picked Liana up and smothered her with kisses.Â
âLiana, look at you! You said your first word!â
âGood job, Liana banana,â James grinned and gave her cheek a little pinch which made her reach out to him and say,Â
âDada.â
You both had a similar reaction to what happened moments ago, only this time it was pure shock. Maybe you had misheard her, but when she repeated herself, James could feel his heart drop to the pit of his stomach.Â
âI-I donât know where she learnt that from,â he told you. âI swear I didnât teach her that.â
It took a minute for the shock to fade away for you, but once it did you tried to assure James that it was okay.Â
âI believe you,â you said. âI-I donât know where she picked it up from, but itâs okay.â
James chewed on his lip, it wasnât okay though because he wanted nothing more than to hear Liana say that again.Â
âItâs not though,â James said softly. âI love her, but Iâm not her dad. Thatâs not fair to her or to you.â
âJamie,â you pleaded with him, but he still seemed stuck on something.Â
âIâm really sorry,â he apologized again. âI feel like I ruined a special moment.â
âIâm trying to tell you it really doesnât matter,â you assured him, you could see it in his eyes, he wanted to leave, to let you have time alone, but you didnât want to be alone, you wanted him to stay with you. âPleaseâŚplease stay.â
James reached out his hand to hold yours and was about to give you his answer when his pager went off.Â
Your heart clenched and you watched as he read the message and sighed, standing up because he was needed again at the hospital.Â
âYour patient?â you asked, picking Liana up and standing next to him.Â
He nodded his head, âThey were scheduled for an unrelated surgery and there were some complications, I have to go.â
You understood and James wrapped you in a tight hug and you kissed his cheek.Â
âI love you, Jamie.â
âI love you too,â he whispered, wishing he could hold onto you and never let you go, but instead he was pulled away from your warm embrace wondering how on earth Liana had learnt to call him dad.Â
â
âYou look like you havenât slept in days, spending time with the baby again?â House asked, waltzing into Jamesâ office.Â
âNo, I haven't been over in a few days,â James shook his head.Â
âYou havenât been over in a few daysâŚSomething happened,â House deduced and James gave him a look.Â
âNothing happened. Iâm just taking a break,â he lied.Â
âYouâve been going non-stop to spend time with them since the baby was born ten months ago, why do you need a break now?âÂ
âBecause I have a lot on my mind and thereâs a few new patients I need to focus on-,âÂ
âYouâre lying.âÂ
âYes I am,â James admitted and House grinned.Â
âReally?âÂ
âNo, Iâm not,â he shook his head and continued to look down and do his work.Â
âWe do this every single time and every single time Iâm right,â House said. âWhy donât we save the back and forth for another time and just skip to the part where you tell me whatâs going on.âÂ
âOh really and you were right that time you thought I was cheating on my wife and she was the one cheating on me?â he asked.Â
âOkay, so Iâm not perfect,â House shrugged. âWhat happened, Wilson? I could just as easily get your friendâs number and ask directly if thatâs what youâd prefer.âÂ
âGod no,â James shook his head. âLeave her alone, she doesnât need to deal with you on top of working and raising a child.âÂ
âAlright then, what happened?âÂ
James took a deep breath and sighed, âLiana called me dad the other day. I have no idea where she learnt it from.âÂ
âShe started speaking,â House nodded, pressing his lips together. âWas it her first word or-,âÂ
âSecond. She said mom first,â James said, but caught a glimpse of his friend trying to fight back a smile and suddenly all the offers to take care of Liana paired with the photographs made sense. âYou taught her!â he exclaimed. âHouse I canât believe youâd pull a prank on me by manipulating my friendâs baby!âÂ
âOh come on, itâs not that big of a deal,â House rolled his eyes.Â
âHouse, I cannot believe you!âÂ
âYouâre not mad at me,â House shook his head. âYouâre just mad you liked it.âÂ
âNo Iâm-,âÂ
âYes, you are,â the diagnostician emphasized. âYouâve been sitting here tearing yourself apart for the past four days because she called you dad and you liked it. Youâre mad at yourself for liking it because sheâs not your kid.âÂ
âNo,â James quieted down. âSheâs not.âÂ
âYou havenât gone back because youâre afraid to hear her say it again, arenât you?âÂ
âSince when did you become an expert on my personal problems, House? You caused this, why should I listen to anything you have to say?âÂ
âBecause youâre being an idiot. Youâre punishing yourself for liking something. Do you realize how insane that sounds?âÂ
âItâs not insane, House, sheâs not my baby-,âÂ
âSure, sheâs not your baby and you have her feeding and nap routine memorized. Youâve been to her doctor's appointments, sheâs calmer in your arms than she is in the arms of her grandparents. Yeah, go and tell that to any moron sitting out there and theyâll tell you for me, youâre being an idiot.âÂ
James sighed again, âAnd why do you care?âÂ
âBecause once youâre done with this spiral we can go back to the way things were when you werenât a boring depressed lump.âÂ
âHow kind of you,â James faked a smile.Â
Houseâs pager went off, leaving James alone again in his office, thinking about what his friend had said.Â
Youâd told him so many times that things were okay, but maybe a part of him didnât want to let him believe that you didnât mind because that was a slippery slope to him facing himself and his feelings and he didnât care what his heart was telling him, he wouldnât put himself through that. He wouldnât put you and Liana through that. But at the same time, he couldnât keep himself away forever. He didnât want that either.
So with a deep breath he picked up his office phone and dialled your number, putting it up to his ear and waiting for the line to connect on the other end.Â
âHello?âÂ
âHey, itâs me.âÂ
âJames,â your voice sounded almost relieved. âH-Hey, how are you?âÂ
He pressed his lips together, âMiserable, actually. I miss you guys.âÂ
âWe miss you too,â you chuckled with a small sniffle.Â
âC-Can I come over for dinner tonight?â he asked.Â
âYou still have a key, what do you think?â you asked with a bit of a laugh. âIâll see you tonight.âÂ
âYeah, see you then,â James smiled and after he hung up the phone he took a deep breath, his fast heartbeat slowing down by the second.Â
Maybe this time House was right.
â
The next few weeks passed by and things resumed to their normal state, much to Houseâs delight. Jamesâ role as department head always meant at least one day a week where he would stay late and do some extra paperwork, dealing with anything that may have slipped through the cracks before.Â
This time, that had fallen on a Sunday and it was just past dinner when he heard a knock on his door and wondering who was on the other end he called for them to come in.Â
You opened the door a crack and again asked permission to come in and James smiled at you, looking up from his paperwork, not expecting to see you in the hospital.Â
âHey, I wasnât expecting to see you here, whatâs going on?âÂ
âI just wanted to drop by and bring you something for dinner, I know itâs your paperwork day.âÂ
âThanks, thatâs really sweet of you,â he stood up from his chair and came to stand in front of his desk, leaning back on it while you placed the take out bag on the table. âWhereâs Liana?âÂ
âOh Helenâs looking after her tonight,â you said. âI had a few things I needed to do and um just wanted the evening off,â you admitted.Â
âFair enough,â James nodded.Â
âI actually brought you something else,â you rolled back and forth on the balls of your feet and James noticed the tension in your stature. âH-Here,â you handed him a gift bag which he eyed curiously.Â
Today wasnât his birthday or some memorable event you celebrated together. There wasnât much of a reason to get him a present which made it all the more intriguing.Â
He pulled out a wrapped rectangular box from the bag, and putting the bag aside he began to carefully tear away the wrapping paper to reveal what looked like a picture frame. Overlaid on the frame, on top of the photo, James noticed a card which he unfolded to read its contents.Â
Happy Fatherâs Day. We love you loads. - Liana and Mom
James moved the card to see the picture and put his hand over his mouth, feeling tears involuntarily form in his eyes as he saw the familiar scene of your room, lit by the light of your lamp as Liana was fast asleep against his chest while he napped on the armchair.Â
James quickly wiped away the few tears that were in his eyes and looked up at you with a grateful smile, looking back down at the image before placing it neatly on his desk along with the card.Â
âI hope you like it,â you said quietly, biting your lip. âI thought you might want to have a copy of that picture andâŚyou know just a thank you for everything youâve done for me and Liana this past year.âÂ
âI love it,â he assured you. âI-I love it and I love you.âÂ
âI love you too,â you smiled.
âN-No,â James came closer and reached out, taking your hands in his. âIâŚI love you. Iâm in love with you.âÂ
âJamie,â you spoke in a breathy whisper, unsure of how you lost your voice. âI-,â you opened your mouth to speak again, but paused when James raised a hand to your face, wiping away the tears you didnât even notice had begun to stream down.Â
âI just donât want to be away from you, ever,â he said softly. âI never did. And now with Liana, I want to be there, for all of it.âÂ
You held the wrist of his hand that held your face, pulling him in closer so your foreheads rested against each other.Â
You took in a shaky breath, thinking back on those words. Something youâd been saying to each other for longer than you could remember. The first time was so clear in your mind, you were on the phone racking up long distance charges while James was in Montreal. It had slipped out by accident, a reflex, and you had convinced yourself when the phone had hung up youâd never call him back, unable to face what youâd just said, but before you could spiral any further, he said it back and you never stopped saying it.
For the longest time that was the only occurrence that was memorable, everything else was a blur, that was until a few months ago. It was so simple, you had fallen asleep on the couch and James had made sure Liana was fed and bathed and even cleared up some things in the kitchen before sitting on the couch with some tea and a book. You had talked and said I love you as a thank you, but when the words left your mouth they also left a lingering airiness in your heart, a feather light feeling that came crashing down like an anvil when he left to go home because you realized you never wanted to be apart from him.
It took you a few moments to realize you hadnât said anything and James was anxiously waiting for some sort of communication, anything, but since the meaning of your words had changed, for both of you, you thought it might be more conducive to work in actions.
You closed in the space between you, at first gently resting your lips on his and letting him lead you in a soft and slow kiss, putting aside all the restraint you both had been using these past months in an effort to protect your friendship.
One of Jamesâ hands held onto your waist, pulling you in so that there was no space left between you. He kissed you again and again, remembering each one as a core memory, engraved in his mind, paired with the feeling of your arms wrapped around his neck, the feeling of your body pressed so closely against his, his heart beating outside of his chest.Â
It was easy for his lips to trail away from yours, moving along your jaw, to your temple before you had pulled each other into a warm embrace, simply existing in each otherâs arms. James thought to himself what a nice life it would be, not ever having to pull away.Â
â
âI donât have much to say,â James smiled. âEverything is looking good, you still seem 100% healthy to me.âÂ
âThatâs great news.âÂ
âIt definitely is. Standard procedure, but weâll have one more of these remission follow ups to make sure everything is still in order then you hopefully wonât have to see me again.âÂ
âThank you Dr. Wilson, I really appreciate all youâve-.âÂ
âDad!âÂ
âSweetheart, wait heâs with a patient!âÂ
James turned his head and saw Liana running over to him, you valiantly trying to chase after her without much success.Â
He quickly scooped her up in his arms before she crashed into him, pressing a big kiss to her cheek.Â
âSorry about that,â James apologized. âItâs Saturday, we normally have lunch together.âÂ
âNo worries,â he chuckled.Â
âLiana, this is my patient Mr. Kimbilio, can you say hi?âÂ
Liana waved and said hi, very exuberantly.Â
âThis is my daughter,â James introduced. âAnd thatâs my wife,â he pointed over to you.Â
âDaughter,â Mr. Kimbilio smiled. âI think I met you Liana, when you were very small. Your father was looking after you at work and so some of his patients got to meet you.âÂ
âReally?â she looked up at her dad and he nodded.Â
âHeâs right, I remember that,â James smiled. âYouâve grown a lot since then, havenât you Li,â he kissed her cheek again and she giggled.
You finally caught up to the group and James greeted you with a quick kiss, passing Liana off to you so he could wrap things up and you could all go down to the cafeteria for lunch together.Â
âIf I remember correctly,â Mr. Kimbilio started. âYou didnât introduce her as your daughter the first time we met. Iâm glad something changed.âÂ
âMe too,â James smiled, looking over at his wife and daughter fondly who were now in the midst of making him very proud by pulling off a small prank on House as he came out of his office.Â
It didnât take much longer for them to wrap things up and you and Liana made a quick pit stop inside Jamesâ office before heading downstairs.
Liana went to go sit in Jamesâ seat while he put away his files and organized them.Â
It had been a while since youâd been in his office, but it felt like ever since the night you first kissed things had begun to change in the room.Â
His desk was now more littered with photos than knickknacks and Lianaâs artwork was posted wherever there was room.Â
You came around to the other side, looking a little more closely at the pictures.Â
There was one of you, James, and Liana on your wedding day, another of just the two of you during an anniversary celebration, Lianaâs kindergarten photo from school and another one of you as a family on your last vacation. And still as prominent as ever, the framed photo you had gifted James on his first fatherâs day.Â
âYou ready to go?â he asked you, looking up and noticing your eyes gazing at the pictures on his desk.Â
When you didnât initially respond, too focused on what you were looking at, James wrapped an arm around you and tilted your chin towards him so he could press a kiss to your lips.
âI love you,â you smiled and James kissed you again, saying.
âAnd I love you,â before moving over to pick up Liana and kiss her cheek. âAnd you.â
Liana giggled, feeling tickled by the kisses and moving to give both of you a kiss on the cheek before saying.Â
âMom, Dad, Iâm starving. Can we go eat now?â
âSure, Liana banana,â James chuckled and you wrapped an arm around him, walking side by side out of the office and in the direction of the elevator to get to the cafeteria, thinking you were pretty lucky that in the end, your best friend listened to his heart and went after what he wanted.
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