#they definitely thing others are amazing but don't see themself in the same way

[boothillssugarmomma]

Steel Here

(Boothill x Fem!Reader)

cw-: Body dysmorphia, slight talks of hating themself, other than that fluff fluff

🎀 authorsnote: Rn I'm feeling like my body isn't great so I used this fic to sort of get it out! And it actually felt great!

please don't steal my work!

Taglist🎀HSR Master List🎀Other Lists🎀

Boothill’s quietly sitting in his room that you begged him to have on The Astral Express. As his girlfriend you've been trying to get him to stay around more and he adores it.

But it also gives him more time to really think...and he doesn't know if he likes that part.

Ok...he hates it. He hates that fact that he has to see himself when he passes a mirror, he hates it when he feels his cool steel against his face, he hates how he can't feel your hugs...

Boothill stands and looks in the mirror, flexing his mechanical arms softly and glancing over his fake abs. He shakes his left metal leg and sighs.

He hears the small mechanical noise of his bedroom door and looks over to it. He smiles softly as he sees you.

“Hey sweet thang...” He shoots you a warm smirk, trying to cover up what he was doing as he quickly sits on his bed. You glance over at the mirror and back to him. Piecing it in your mind what exactly he was doing. “What do ya need hon...?”

You're silent as he asks. No response as you just blink. Your eyes communicate to him that you want him to tell you what you saw.

Your boyfriend sighs a little. Placing his head in his hands and closing his eyes.

“Don't gimme that look...” He breathes, obviously frustrated as he looks back up at you, “Fine...I'm startin' to wish I was me again...I don't want this body anymor'.”

"Oh honey..." You whisper softly as you sit next to him on the bed. You place a hand on his back but remember he won't even be able to feel it...

“See...now would ya look at that...?” Boothills voice drawls, he places a hand on your thigh and sighs as you shiver at the cold metal. “I...guess this is ma' life now..." He scoffs softly. "Can't even curse...it's all 'muddle fudger' this and 'fork that' and 'son of a nice lady'..."

"Boothill sweetheart..." You whisper as you lean against him. "Don't say that..."

Boothill hesitates on resting his temple against your head, he doesn’t need his body reminding him that part of his ridiculous body is only metal.

But he doesn’t know what else to do to comfort himself. He’s frustrated to the moon and back, frustrated at being in this body he doesn’t want.

“I don’t think you understand, darlin’” Boothill whispers. “I miss the me I once was. I just… don’t feel quite like myself anymore…”

"You're still...my Boothill..." You pull away gently and grasp his cheek.

The corner of his lips quirk upwards at your words, but the warm touch and caress of your hand on his cheek still doesn’t feel the same. He wishes of his could feel the same kind of texture he once thrived from and took for granted in his human skin...not just his face.

It’s almost...cold to him.

“You’re the only one who can remind me of the old me that’s still lyin’ somewhere underneath this piece’o’junk body.” He murmurs.

"It's not a piece'o'junk..." You imitate him with a smile. "Boothill... you're amazing just the way you are..."

There you go smiling. If there’s anything that’s capable of changing his mood for the better, it’s you.

Boothill gives you a chuckle. “Look who’s sweet talkin’ who now,” his voice is a bit more lighthearted than previously. “You’ve gotta stop bein’ like this darlin’. You’re gonna make me blush.”

You smile softly and kiss his cheek. "Honey...look at me..." You take his face in your hands. "I love you..."

Boothill smiles, feeling your lips press against his cheek. His hands find their way to your wrists, gently caressing them and wishing he could feel your skin. He knows it's definitely a lot warmer than the cold of his steel.

“You’re a real charmer, y’know that?” He says, his voice low and amused. “I don’t reckon I can look anywhere else when ya say things like that.”

"Now...how can we make you feel better?" You hum softly in his ear.

“You have no idea how bad I want that...” Boothill replies with a grin. He pulls your face closer to his and whispers into your ear. “But you’ve got to keep those sweet words of yours comin’.” Boothill’s voice is low and seductive. “I’m starvin’ here, darlin’.”

"Pamper Queen tonight aren't we?" You laugh, placing your hand on his chest.

“Only for my darlin’.” He teases, placing a hand over yours and gently rubbing his thumb against your skin. Boothill’s other hand caresses your cheek. “Let’s be frank; you’ve gotten me spoiled rotten, and I ain’t mad about it.”

Your face contorts into a look of pure thought. "Here...since you give me massages sometimes..." You get up and walk over to his closet.

Boothill’s curious as his gaze follow your movements, hands resting on the arm rest. He wonders if you’re looking for something specific.

“Whatcha lookin’ for, darlin’?” He asks, tilting his head to rest his cheek on his metal palm, fingers pressed against his chin.

"How about we polish your metal?" You pull out some wax and a waxing machine.

Boothill’s expression changes into something resembling a mix of disbelief and shock, then into amusement as he bursts into laughter. He had an expectation for what you were going to do, but this wasn’t it.

“Is that a euphemism for something I’m not gettin’?" He jokes, his laughter trailing into a playful smirk as he watches you closely.

"Well...I don't know the equivalent of a massage for cyborgs!" You whine playfully.

Boothill chuckles as he playfully rolls his eyes at you. “Oh, I’m certain a few people out there would call this ‘metal maintenance’ or something.”

He then rises to his feet. “And I wouldn’t mind havin’ ya give me a good ol’ metal maintenance, darlin’. But I hope you know I’m ticklish in some spots.”

"How are you ticklish..." You murmur and plug it into the wall.

Boothill chuckles again, crossing his arms as he gazes down at the metal machine in your hands. “I’m ticklish ‘round my neck and behind my knee, believe it or not. I ain’t kiddin’.”

He walks over to you and stands before you, a grin spreading on his face. “I’ve got a feelin’ you’re gonna use this as a weapon against me, aren’t ya?”

"Phantom tickles on the knee I guess..." You hum and fire it up. "And it's NOT a weapon..."

“Aww, shoot… and here I was, thinkin’ you’d give me a break.” He quips, shrugging his shoulder and letting out a small chuckle.

In truth, Boothill is a little excited for you to polish him. “How are you at polishin’ machines, darlin’? Cause it ain’t gonna be clean if you don’t know what you’re doin’...” He teases as he glances at the polishing machine, then back at you.

You hesitate and cough. "I'm...great?" You quickly get to work before he can question anything.

Boothill raises a brow as he eyes you with a small, amused smirk. He has a feeling you're definitely not good with these machines.

“I’m sure ya are.” He teases, a small, playful chuckle falling from his lips.

While Boothill initially stands still, he can’t help but feel a little ticklish as he can feel the machine polish the outer surface of his thigh. “Careful with that…”

You giggle softly as you keep polishing his metal body. You slide up to his neck and carefully polish it.

A soft, amused chuckle leaves Boothill as he can’t help it. Your gentle polish on his neck is a little ticklish, which causes him to tense up from the sensation. He’d definitely describe it as ticklishness. He rests a hand on the back of your head as you polish his neck, caressing the underside of his fingers against your skin.

“Oh, what a sight to see. I’ve got my pretty lady polishin’ me to perfection.” He teases.

"D-Don't distract me or I'll move!" You whine.

“Distract you?” Boothill murmurs, his lips tilting into a small smirk. “I’m just complimentin' you.”

He gently moves your chin with a finger, guiding it to meet his gaze as he gazes down at you. “And don’t move. I like the way your beautiful eyes look when you’re focused on me.” A tease disguised as a compliment.

You freeze as your heart pounds in your chest...which was not the best move because the polisher slides right off him and shoots at the wall.

A small gasp leaves Boothill when he watches the polisher slide off him. But then he bursts into a hearty chuckle, his hands resting on his waist. His eyes are closed while he laughs, and when he’s done, he glances at the wall where the polisher’s been launched into.

“That wall didn’t do nothin’ to deserve that, darlin’...“ He teases through stifled giggles.

"Y-Yeah well...you distracted me!" You whine before sitting in his lap.

Boothill pulls you onto his lap and rests his chin on your shoulder, his arms naturally wrapping around your waist. As you lean against him, he can see the machine embedded into the wall from the corner of his eye. He shakes his head and laughs again.

“You’re a feisty one, aren’t ya?” He teases, nuzzling his face to the crook of your neck and trailing his lips against your skin.

"It's not like I did it on purpose..." You mutter into his hair.

Boothill lets out another chuckle, feeling the warmth of your breath against his head. “I know you didn’t.” He murmurs, letting out a low sigh that’s a mix of contentment and relief.

He gently presses his cheek to the top of your head, his fingers gently rubbing your waist. “I’m just teasin’ ya, darlin’. You wouldn’t hurt a fly. ‘Sides, look at the bright side.” He adds. “At least the machine didn’t land on my toes.”

"You don't even have toes!" You blink and roll your eyes.

Boothill’s expression turns into a grin as he laughs, pulling you closer to him. “See? Told ya you’re the feisty one.” He teases, tilting his head to kiss your temple. He places another kiss on the top of your head, savoring the feeling of your warmth against his.

“Maybe I don’t have toes.” He begins, placing another kiss on your cheek. “But this body’s got everything else ya need.”

"See that's my Boothill..." You smile warmly. "Don't think of yourself the way you were before...and if you do...let me know?" You whisper.

As he hears your words, a soft smile forms on Boothill's face. He places a hand on your cheek, gently stroking the side of your face as his other rests on your waist.

His eyes look deep into yours with affection, and a corner of his lips quirks upwards. “That's a mighty good offer ya’re givin’ me here, darlin’. But I’d rather you stop me from thinkin’ like that before I could.”

"Now that is a better plan..." You smile before leaning in to kiss him.

Boothill’s eyes flutter to a close as your lips press against his, a warm fluttering feeling erupting in his chest. The kiss is slow and tender, and he melts against your touch as he pulls you a little closer and into his embrace.

Once the kiss ends, Boothill opens his eyes and sighs, feeling calmer and a lot more pleasant than before.

“You’re way too good for this broken ol’ geezer.” He whispers affectionately.

"Boothill...honey... you're not even old!" You laugh softly and nuzzle against him.

Boothill lets out a low chuckle, his hand gently caressing your skin as he leans into your touch. "You sure about that, darlin'? I feel like a relic with all this metal on me."

He glances down at his metallic hand, flexing his fingers. Then, he looks back at you with a smile. “But as long as you’re tellin’ me otherwise, I guess I ain’t.”

"That's what I thought~" You press a kiss to his forehead.

A smirk spreads on Boothill’s face as he watches you kiss his forehead. He lifts a hand and gently caresses your face, his thumb rubbing your skin.

“Ain’t you a precious one?” He muses, his grin widening as he gazes at you. “I reckon I ain’t that old after all.” He adds, his teasing tone laced with an affectionate edge. “What gives you the right to be so adorable?”

"I'm your girlfriend, it's my job!" You smile warmly.

Once again, Boothill’s gaze falls into yours, and he feels a flutter in his chest at your words. He rests a hand on your waist, caressing your skin with the back of his cold metal fingers.

“You’re right,” he murmurs, a warm smile spreading on his face as he nods. His eyes lock with yours, and he lifts a hand to tuck a strand of your hair behind your ear.

“And I reckon you’re doin’ a real good job at it, darlin’...” He adds, his voice low, warm and affectionate.

"Y'know... I'm always going to be here..." You smile. "Hey, hey!" You start to giggle. "I'm 'steel' here..." You joke.

Boothill lets out a loud laugh, shaking his head as you throw in a joke. He takes your hand and intertwines his fingers with yours, lifting it to his lips and planting a kiss on your knuckles.

“You’re real clever,” he murmurs, his eyes crinkling at the corners as his smile grows wider. In all honesty, he appreciates the effort you’re putting into cheering him up.

“Ain’t a doubt in me that you’d always be here for me, darlin’.”

You kiss him one more time. This time more passionate and love infused. As you pull away you smile. "I'll always...be here..."

The unexpected passion in your kiss catches Boothill off guard and leaves him breathless. As you pull away, he lets out a low gasp, his grip on your hand tightening just a little.

When you declare your promise, he presses his forehead against yours, his eyes closed as he lets the moment sink in. He feels a wave of warmth wash over him, and he whispers back.

“I’ll be here for you, too, darlin’...”

🎀End🎀

[marblesarelost]

Update

Damn, it's been a while.

See, I have to get off Tumblr periodically and stay off for a while because unfortunately Tumblr can suck up all of my attention, leaving me with no time in which to actually, you know, work or anything. So when I disappear, dear friends, don't think I'm gone forever. It's just going to be a long break.

Since last I left you, I've been through court reporter school; the only thing I have left for said school is what's called a live mock, which is where a bunch of people pretend to be giving a deposition in which I have to keep up with what everyone's saying and make annotations.

I also am in ... limbo of sorts ... with a court reporting company, waiting to take and pass a live mock with them so I can actually start work. If any of you need a job, can type at a decent rate, and have no problems sitting for a long time, I highly recommend you check out The Court Reporting Academy; they have scholarships available if you're willing to do five jobs at a lower rate than normal, and once you pass, you can make really good money. Like, really good. I know of two court reporting agencies that are paying upwards of $30 an hour, and you can work from home.

So the biggest news is that @Palaquinn and I are living together now in a house. A house that we are buying. That's big news, you guys. The kids are all getting along pretty well, and while we still have boxes everywhere, we're all doing okay.

I'm about to start doing DDPY again, specifically his Kneehab program, because my knees keep getting worse. It wasn't so bad this time last year, but a year of living on the third floor walkup did not help them. That being said, it was my only recourse at that time, and it was a good apartment complex; never had any problem with the landlord or the neighbors, and God bless my downstairs neighbors patience with the fact that both my children walk like elephants.

Bee is doing well; they went to Chicago this summer to the SAIC Young Artists Program or whatever it's called, and they had a great time. They also earned two college credits doing it. I'm proud of them for so many things; they were able to navigate the streets of a very large city by themself, they were able to handle the activities of daily life by themself. Sometimes that can be challenging for them, so I'm proud.

Bonus Kiddo is doing well; they seem to be much more accepting of me these days, which is great, and they even let me hug them sometimes, which is awesome.

Palaquinn is, as always, amazing. I don't know what I'd do without him, it's one of those loves where you don't know how you breathed without them before. Going on two years now and we still have yet to have a fight, which really shouldn't surprise me but does; but I've grown and matured over my years, and we get along and have the same outlook on so many things, it shouldn't surprise me. I still do my best to court him the way he should be courted, the way he always should have been courted, I do my best to remind him of how much he means to me and how deeply I love him just for being who he is. He brings me sunshine every moment of my days.

Football Boy is now learning how to be, of all things, a banker. He's working for a bank here in the area and will eventually be able to do the junior banker type things, he's got his own little area and while he's still training, he's more than just a teller already, though he can do a teller's job as well.

All in all, we're all doing pretty well out here; I'm not looking forward to the winter because I've been assured that this last winter was mild, and to me it definitely was NOT, but maybe I'll be more accustomed to it this year. I'm still going to be surprised if it snows four inches on Halloween, though.

Speaking of Halloween, Bee wants to be, of all characters, Carrie from Stephen King's Carrie. Dear Lord. So we need to get to work shopping for that outfit soon.

As evidenced from my post the other day, I still miss Earthshaker; but i know he is always with me, in his own way. I will never, ever, doubt the existence of life after death again -- I had a couple of experiences this last summer that I cannot explain at all, and I know it was him. I just know. So Earthshaker, as always, pray for us, pray for me.

So in other words, TL;dr, we're all doing really well. We're blessed. We're blessed beyond comprehension. And I hope with all my heart that if you are reading this, that you are blessed as well.

(And seriously if you need work, look into The Court Reporting Academy. Patti is darling, and scholarships are pretty easy to get.)

[silly-lil-scribbles]

HI ID LIKE YOUR OPINION ON SOMETHING :]

so heres a scenario:

person b is best friends with and has liked person a for the Longest Fucking Time and person a knows it, but doesn't feel the same way. person a then dates person c, and person b is fucking devastated so they distract themself by regularly hooking up with person d, who is very hot and is like a bar singer with an amazing ass voice (not exactly relevant but i wanted to mention :P)

only they don't just hook up. they also talk a lot and get to know each other and they really really like each other and they end up falling head over ass in love, only person b is Not aware of their own feelings at first bc theyre not the most emotionally intelligent and also theyve been in love with person a for so long that it doesnt register that they can feel that way about someone else

so theyre not in an official relationship or anything like that

and then person c fucking shatters person a's heart later on by cheating on them with one of their (person a's) other friends and person a is so fucking mad and desperate to make person c hurt like theyre hurting that they decide to date person b (who they know is in love with them despite not returning those feelings in the slightest) to make person c jealous

person b isnt yet aware they dont feel that way about person a anymore (and they probably never did, just felt like really really attached to them bc person a saved them when they tried to kill themself a while ago but thats another thing altogether), so they happily go along with the relationship at first.

but they always find themself seeking out person d to hang out with them because they enjoy their company and find them interesting (which doesnt really happen for them and person a). and person d is not always up for it bc seeing the person they love dating someone else Hurts, but they find it pretty hard to tell person b no.

and then person b also realizes that neither them nor person a is happy in their relationship. and then they realize person a is just using them to hurt person c. somewhere in between all this person b realizes theyve been in love with person d for a While. like a While lol. however, person b has always had an issue with accepting the love they think they deserve, so they don't break things off with person a

instead they drive two plus hours in the middle of the night to see person d/hot singer . bc while person b definitely feels like they dont deserve person d in the slightest, theyre nothing if not selfish as fuck and a whore for love (or at least thats what they think of themself lol).

and they end up talking a little about how they feel about each other and subsequently kissing and having sex but the sex feels a lot more intimate this time than any of the others? more like making love than just having sex. and they both make each other so fucking happy its gross lol (but its also adorable as shit)

person a later finds out about it & talks to person b about how theyre not mad at all bc they were just using person b to hurt person c. and they break up amicably.

soooo bottomline: would you consider what person b did here to be cheating, knowing that person a never felt the same and was only ever using them?

(IM SORRY THIS GOT SO LONG BY THE WAY)

BITCH WHY ARE YOU ASKING ME IDK

uhhhhhhhhhh i. i guess technically its cheating? by definition? and they should have probably told person a before running off to see hot singer, but at least they weren’t upset? technically cheating, but i think it was okay in this concerningly specific situation

again why are you asking me of all people

[amoneki-ramblings]

oh and also idk if the amoneki blog is the place to ask but can u tell me about ur opinion of eto :]

OH HELL YEAH !!!! I should've clarified, I'm cool with asks for anything/anyone, unfortunately I might not have as much to say for some characters/ships since. I'm still getting through the manga orz but I'd down to discuss anyone!!

Also sidenote but thank you for sending two asks?? I'm answering this one first since the amoneki ask will take me. A while. But also I read this and immediately went "eto !!! eto holy shit it's her!!" so I must get the energy out (and hope it's coherent)

How I feel about this character:  Goddd Eto is so fucking Cool as a character. She has so many things I absolutely Love in one character. She's an absolute monster in terms of power, eldritch-like, she is a horror beyond anyone's comprehension and I love her so much for that. When she made her first (I think) big appearance in :re (Volume 5. The Kanae Scene) I loved her sooo much more I love her fucked up-ness, I love her Apple and God Thing and 'breaking down people's idols and becoming their god' because I Love religious symbolism. She's so ominous and formidable and she has such a fucking presence, it's amazing, yet at the same time we still see the same loneliness in her that's prevelant in the majority of Tokyo Ghoul, but maybe even moreso. Throughout the series it's shown how important parents and family are and how they've shaped the characters and give them drive (especially considering almost nobody has both parents. alive, and it effects everyone So Much it's a constant theme.) And obviously Eto couldn't really. Have that. At all. And it fucked her up definitely. The loneliness is overshadowed by. The Monstrosity (which makes sense of course, because that loneliness also brews Hatred for the world) but it also cuts through in things like her writing as Takatsuki Sen (which Kaneki obviously picks up on and relates to), the way it shines through when she's able to deconstruct others' desires and wills and suffering (after all, one must experience suffering themself to truly understand someone else's), and the slight respite with Aogiri (man. I wish to know more of her dynamics with the members/executives so bad) god I love her so much, she also has such a cool character design I'm in love with it, I can't wait to see her even more in :re.

All the people I ship romantically with this character:  Hmm since she hasn't made too many major appearances with individual characters so far none really yet? However I feel like I may grow very intrigued in etoken, two people that share loneliness, they're also a little fucked up I think they could be interesting together (I'm certain they're gonna interact more later also i've seen. the eyeball scene (on accident) and honestly yeah that's my kinda Weirdness))

My non-romantic OTP for this character: Again I want to see more of her appearances/interactions with others more first !! But I'd honestly be happy just to see her interact with the other Aogiri executives more, it's pretty entertaining and it's definitely my kinda thing

My unpopular opinion about this character:  I guess I wouldn't really know if anything I thought is considered unpopular haha, I just kinda like her all around okay?

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon: Well, currently I just want to see her more in general, although I think seeing more of the ways she can totally screw with people would be great, she is so Psychological Horror and I fully support it

my OTP: Again, none yet but there may be Something on the horizon

my cross over ship: Honestly I don't really have any crossover tg ships

a headcanon fact: I am taking this opportunity to increase the religious undertones tenfold. She can pull out So many bible references on the fly (that a lot of people probably don't get) and definitely weaves them throughout her writing (Kaneki canonically knows things from the bible, more than the average person at least, so he would absolutely pick up on them). I think she'd have some very interesting thoughts about the bible and what it says about humanity and the idea of God itself, and she definitely owns one somewhere

Hopefully that wasn't too long orz Anyways yes I see Eto in my inbox and I jump up and down in excitement I don't have a coherent list of favorite characters but she is definitely Somewhere in there and I'd let her rip my limbs off anyday Eto my beloved

[lavenoon]

Hey there, friendly reminder that you are awesome, amazing, and astoundingly talented! <3

Aaa hi Fan!! Making me melt too, I see 💜

🤲 what do YOU get out of writing?

I get to reread my own stuff, in more detail than if I just tried to remember an idea or daydream, and it feels much more tangible written down! I still reread fic I never published because it's just for me, and sometimes surprise myself with scenes I had entirely forgotten! So I'm very glad I wrote them down <3

There's also definitely the engagement/ interaction for published fic. Like yes, I shouldn't make anything dependent on that, but it's just so so validating and fun to hear from other people, and to enjoy something together! I'm very happy I get to share my ideas, and have people be excited for them <3

💋 when you leave comments on a fic, do you want to hear back from the writer?

Answered a bit more in depth here, but in short, I definitely enjoy it! I never want the author to feel pressured though, it's just a little bonus treat <3

🕯️ how do you think engaging with each other through tumblr, twitter, comments, kudos, creates healthy fandom experiences? How do you deal with that if you're not a social person/experience social anxiety?

There's the difference between worth and validation - you may know as a writer (or artist, creator of any kind) that your work has worth, but the validation is what makes you want to share it. If you don't feel like anyone reads your work, why would you continue publishing it? It doesn't mean you necessarily stop writing, but to post something you created means being vulnerable and putting a piece of yourself out there. If there's just no engagement, it feels like rejection.

Fandom is about interaction. We all want to share thoughts and ideas and theories, and it is vital to engage with what is there. That doesn't mean everyone needs to comment on everything! But if you read something, and you enjoy it, you definitely should leave some sort of "I liked this" reaction.

For the socially anxious folks, or people with few social spoons, there's always the options of likes and kudos - as long as these people don't make up the vast majority of a fandom, engagement will easily continue flowing even without explicit words from them! There's also anon options, or those pre-made html codes for more kudos, or other very simple comments (like just "extra kudos!" without any html) that still let an author know you liked it!

Plus, especially if it's anxiety making the engagement hard... The author did the same? Bearing a piece of themself for others to see, and as long as you don't waltz in and just point out all flaws without saying anything else, why would they not enjoy hearing from you? Comments give the author an idea what was good, what might need elaboration, and what ideas resonate!

Some people feel more comfortable on tumblr, some more on discord, some more in a different constellation - but please, please make an effort to engage. It's what keeps things going - you can't just "consume" and not give anything back, if everyone did that, creators would burn out like a flash fire and stop publishing things. I know I did. It's worth the anxiety, it's worth the effort, and a little bit can go a long way. I'm anxious any time I post, and I still do it! So as a creator I just want to hear from people that it was worth it for me, too, that it's received well. Find a form of engagement that works for you, but engage - otherwise, in time, there won't be anything to engage with.

🧿 what steps do you take to not take things personally if a fic doesn't do well, or if your writing/posting/sharing experience isn't going how you'd like it to?

Uh, admittedly, not too many. My rsd and anxiety unfortunately tend to make me catastrophize, and mostly it's damage control, not prevention.

What I do do is look at what engagement I did get - every kudos/ comment is a person, and even if it doesn't seem much, those are real people who like my work. Every bookmark means someone wants to see more. Those already mean a lot, and I remind myself to not get caught up in numbers - with private bookmarks, all the people who bookmarked AU might not even fit into my home! That's so so many people! Even my other fic, which runs at 16 bookmarks - that's a lot of people in a room!

So in short, I visualize the engagement I get as actual people, remind myself that was a real person who took time out of their day to let me know they liked my work! It's really never happened to me that there's no one who interacted with my work, and even if there were... Well, I already write a lot for just myself or friends, things that I don't necessarily share with the wide public, so I know where to go to find the validation I crave, and sometimes that validation is just keeping things entirely to myself and reread them again and again <3

[luminouslumity]

Thoughts On: For the Future

First off, I deeply apologize to anyone who saw my first post on this. I'm so used to the episodes coming out at midnight, I'd assumed the same would apply to the special. One thousand percent my fault for not keeping track of the time, and should this happen again, I'll be sure to be more mindful of times (and more importantly, dates; I also thought the episode had officially come out when I saw the leak) in the future.

Tbh, I wasn't even sure about posting this again because of my mistake, but seeing as how I like to stay consistent, I might as well. So, thoughts are still the same! Poster's my favorite because cosmic imagery, and as for the actual episode...

Animation's amazing as always and it'll probably be the thing I'll miss most about the show, great to see Willow actually get some focus again, and also great to see that Hunter has magic of his own now! As for Luz's palisman, she's adorable and it absolutely fits for her to have one that's a magical creature and not just an animal like most others. I also enjoyed Camilla's role in this, though I don't expect her to stay on the Isles long, or at least not adjust so quickly. Her calling the Collector a cherub also reminded me of that one angel theory I saw the other day.

Intro was also great, especially with it playing a remix of Eda's Requiem in the background, and I also liked that we got more insight on the Collector themself and all the information we've been provided with so far definitely puts a lot of things into perspective. And that isn't even getting into the whole Belos thing; poor Raine has been through enough already! Either way, looks like Eda will have a new kid to take care of by the end of this.

Seeing The Lord of the Flies remake with Hexside was great as well and I enjoyed the storyline with Boscha and having her team up with the others to stop Kiki towards the end. Still don't like her, though; seriously, Willow calling her out for everything was so satisfying to see!

Overall, another great episode! And considering how things ended, I can only imagine how wild the finale will be.

[vinnival]

Hi! Could I get a Madness Combat Main 3 + Tricky x non-gender conforming reader who is going through a lot trying to figure out who they are, and just generally feels negative about themself and everything?

Thank you in advance!

AWAAAAA I LOVE THIS as someone who struggles with how I feel in my own body nfejfjdnf self indulgence!!!

HANK

Him when you explain:

"...hm. I kind of feel like that too," he signs

He's with you on that train ride babey !

Makes sure you're the most comfortable you can possibly be, as long as you do the same for him

Includes: using preferred pronouns/names, helping with things like binding or getting bras- whichever way you lean, Hank is here to help

Will probably give you his old clothes he never uses anymore

They're quite big and very baggy on you so you don't have to look down and see your body

When you have a panic attack over your identity and yourself, Hank is there to hold you calm down! With his understanding grip and listening skills, you're able to take some deep breaths and just vent to him

Just wants you to be comfortable with yourself and will do whatever it takes :)

SANFORD

He's trans <3

So he 100% understands your struggles on finding out who/what you are

Will immediately be supportive of any changes to your appearance, or personality, or more

As long as it isn't dangerous to you then he's all in

Will definitely find ways to make you happy with yourself

Will leave lil sticky notes in areas you might look, compliments scrawled onto it in his handwriting with a little smiley ex; "you look amazing today :D"

"Babe wake up time to find healthy coping mechanisms!" "yes honey"

DEIMOS

You didn't expect him to understand it

And yet

As soon as you reluctantly explained your emotions after you did something dangerous to a very worried Deimos....

He immediately nodded, showed no confusion whatsoever, and just said "Okay, do you want me to help you?"

You stared at him for a good couple of seconds and Deimos could nearly see the mf "loading" symbol over your head

"I get it. You're confused about yourself. I feel that too, sometimes," he leans back and crosses his hands behind his head, "but it's nowhere as bad as yours. I can try and give you some hints on what I do to feel better, yeah?"

"...Yes, yes, that'd be great! Thank y-"

"Now, now, toots! Enough of that, you don't have to thank someone if they're doing something to help you figure out your existence. That's literally the bare minimum, so no thanking me, got it?"

"Ah, okay..." You grinned with happiness

TRICKY

You were just getting done with training one time, frustrated with yourself for suddenly letting your thoughts stray to the usual: "What the fuck is going on with me"

Of course the clown immediately sensed apprehension in the air, coming from you. and he was in the room over, a reasonable distance from you

He moved into the training room, "WHY FRIEND SO WORRY?"

You didn't realize they were there, and yelped in surprise, but quickly calmed yourself to explain

...and once you finished, he approached, and then sat down

Something about him just... changed, and he patted the area next to him for you to sit

"FRIEND... CLOWN KNOW HOW FRIEND FEEL. CLOWN SOMETIMES FEELS UNSATISTFACTORY. AS IF CLOWN WAS SOMETHING ELSE..."

There was a layer of nervousness in his voice

"OR SOMEONE ELSE, EVEN"

You held back a tiny gasp of surprise

"BUT!!!!! CLOWN DO OTHER THINGS TO FEEL COMPLACENT!!!!"

He suddenly threw his hands around you in a very shaky hug

"CLOWN WILL HELP YOU. CLOWN WANT FRIEND COMPLACENT!!!!"

And oh boy did he help

Brings you anything that'll remotely make you happy

"LOOK WHAT CLOWN ACQUIRED TODAY"

Ofc he doesn't use pronouns, he always calls you friend, but he would if he could

As someone who has a very ??? ? ? ?????? ???? gender and identity, Tricky is very willing to help you as well

sorry this took so long I got burnt out as soon as I started on hank </3

This was cute asf though gjsjdnwjf

[onlymexsarah]

Jealousy || Jesper Fahey

Request: "hey i saw your requests were open and i was wondering if you could write something with jesper? maybe with him being jealous of everyone that flirts with the reader or something like that lol, i just want jealous jesper. you are amazing btw i love your kaz’s stories!! <3"

Pairing: Jesper Fahey x reader

Warning: just flirt and my english :)

A/N: Thank you sweety! I'm so happy you liked it, and I hope you are gonna like this too! I'm sorry if it's short, but I have to admit I've never written something about Jepser nor I've never thought about him in that way, and it was a funny challenge, hope you'll appreciated what I've written❤

Working for Kaz Brekker meant that your life was in danger six days on seven when the luck was on your side, but that didn't stop you from having fun.

Not only you were part of the dregs, but you also were Nina's best friend, and that meant that no woman and no man had any chance to say no to you, not when you flirted with them.

It wasn't a secret that you loved fun, and just like Nina and Jesper you loved having people's eyes on you. Kaz knew that the three of you could easily flirt your way out from any trouble if needed to.

"Green or red?" you asked Nina with two dress in your hands.

"Have you seen yourself in the mirror? Definitely green." she answered without looking, she was too focus tailoring her makeup in the mirror.

From the high of his ruthlessly, Kaz Brekker had given to all of you the free night, and you had decided to go out with your friends and have fun.

"Still try to make Jesper admitting his feelings?" asked Nina while you brushed your hair.

"Jesper is Jesper, he flirts with everyone. If he doesn't a move, then there is an entire city that is waiting to do it." you said with more confident than you felt. Jesper Fahey was the boy who had fucked up your mind since the beginning, with his witty remarks and his flirty personality, you had fell for him as a kruge fell in Kaz's pocket.

You didn't want to have to go and console yourself with strangers, but at the same time you couldn't wait Jesper forever.

Nina chuckled helping you with your hair and then walking with you downstairs. "Let see if we can find a worthy partner for you, Y/n."

They reached Matthias and Jesper outside the Slat; you had the suspect that Inej would have stayed sat on Kaz's window all night keeping him company.

Matthias had to shut Jesper's mouth when you girls arrived. He was devouring you with his eyes and the Fjerdan couldn't hold a smirk.

Damn it. Did you plan to seduce all Ketterdam that night? Because he would easily surrender at you.

When you approached he composed himself. "I can't decide if you look amazing in that dress or if you'd look better without it."

He winked and saw a little blush on your cheek, but if you were shy you hid it very well with a sly smirk. "I guess you're gonna have to see yourself."

"It's a primise then." he said before the four of you started walking around the streets of Ketterdam.

Your relationship had always been like that. Jesper couldn't deny that his comments had become more true and spontaneous, he couldn't help it, and it was hilarious for the people around you, because it was oblivious how you both felt toward each other for everyone but you.

"Love, I don't think we can afford a table here." Matthias said to Nina once they stopped in front of one of the most fancy pub in Ketterdam.

"Leave me and Y/n deal with that." she winked taking your arm with hers and bringing you at the counter where the owner, a beautiful Kaelish woman, stood.

Jesper stayed at the door with Matthias looking you and Nina flirting with the woman. He saw how her eyes were on you while you giggled and smiled at her. He couldn't hear what you were saying, but it seemed that it was working because now the woman had her arms rested on the counter, her face close to yours.

"Hard, isn't it?" asked knowingly Matthias beside him. "See the girl you like flirting with someone else and obliviously being reciprocated."

"They are Nina and Y/N, they always do...that" Jepser said waving his hands in the air to point you girls. "You are the one who find it strange."

"Maybe you are right, but it's one of the things I love about her. But still, it's not a shame admitting you are jealous...I am too."

He didn't have time to answer that you and Nina arrived with two huge smiles on. I am not jealous. "Guess who has a table as a gift of the house?"

"We do, don't we?" asked Jesper excited.

"Yes! Come." you said taking his arm and bringing him at the table with Nina and Matthias behind you.

"You have to thanks Y/n, she did all the work. The owner couldn't take off her eyes from her as she talked." said Nina smirking as Jesper shifted on his seat.

"I was lucky she liked my accent." you waved your hand in the hand as it was nothing.

Nina chuckled. "More like she wanted to hear you moaning with your accent in her bedroom."

Jesper and Matthias choked themself with their drinks while you started laughing. "At least my beautiful accent gave us a table and free drinks."

You enjoyed the night, drinking and dancing. Jesper knew that people flirted with you everyday, but he thought that someone was pranking him that night. Every time he turned around someone was talking with you, making you giggle or blush. He was getting crazy.

Couldn't they just...walk away?

He moved closer to you at some point and took you into a conversation everytime he saw someone approaching.

You noticed that something annoyed Jesper, but you couldn't figure out what. You all were having fun, even if with your disbelief he hadn't danced with anyone but you. Was he ill?

"I'll go and take two drinks, stay here dove." he said in your ear walking away and disappearing behind the crowd.

You stayed there for while when a young man of few years older than you approached smiling. "You must be the star of the night because no one is shining like you."

You tried your best to not laugh. "And you must be in the wrong place, the circus in on the other side of the city."

"Ouch, pretty and quick-witten. A letal combination." he said amused.

You shrugged. "What can I say, Ketterdam made me."

You two kept talking about silly things keeping the flirt in the air. He was the one more eager, you were just waiting Jesper but the company of a pretty man wasn't bad at all.

You were laughing at one of his joke when an arm took your waist and squeezed you. "Piss off dude, she is with me."

You watched Jesper with widened eyes as he burned the man with his eyes.

"She didn't seem so to me." said the man annoyed.

"Well sorry to disappoint you. Now go away if you don't want trouble."

"Jesper!" you didn't know what was happening. You had been talking with people all night and he hadn't said a word, so why now was different?

"It's fine, I'll go." you and Jesper remained alone and he looked like nothing happened.

"Drink?" he said offering you one glass.

You shoke your head astonished and walked away toward the door. You needed fresh air and stay as far away as possible from him.

"Y/n!" you heard his voice behind you but you didn't care. What was wrong with him? He had never had such behaviour in none of your nights out. "Y/n wait!" He followed you outside, the drinks forgotten somewhere inside. "Tell me what's wrong."

"What was that?" you asked crossing your arm in front of your chest.

"What was what?" he said confused making you rolling your eyes.

"You were...rude. You had no reason to threat him like you did."

You could see in his eyes that he didn't know what to say. He looked for an good lie but it was hard under your inquisitors eyes. "Y-you were suppose to be with me!"

"So? That never stopped you from finding other partners." you raised an eyebrow obliviously.

He gave a quick look around, as if something could help him, but when his eyes fell on you again he knew he had to tell the true otherwise he could loose you.

"I was annoyed, alright? All those people flirting with you, saints I couldn't even turn around a moment that someone had already approached you." he agitated his hands in the air while you widened your eyes.

"Why should it bother you anyway?" you asked defensive.

He looked at you astonished, as if you were asking why the water was wet. "Because I like you! Hadn't been oblivious enough these past months?!" Now your mouth was a bit hopen, speechlees. He seemed to notice what he had said after few seconds. "Oh...it would be too late saying that it's not true, wouldn't it?"

You nodded quickly. "Yes, definitely too late."

"Well, you weren't suppose to find out like this. I had planned something like a date, maybe with some candles and a good view, but I guess that in front of a pub in the Barrel sounds fine too." he tried to joke shrugging while you were still processing his words.

"You are still in time, the night is not over for that date." you sounded casual but you couldn't hold your smile while you said it.

He looked at you surprised before smiling like a child. "Let's tell Nina and Matthias we are leaving then."

You walked inside the pub, both smiling like idiots, before you felt a hand on you wrist that turned you around and a pair of soft lips on yours. Jesper was kissing you while he kept you close with his right hand on your waist and the other on your cheek, and you didn't think twice about putting your hands behind his neck.

"I have to make sure no one will flirt with you again tonight." he said seductively with a smirk a few inches from your mouth making you blush.

[scatterpatter]

"Where's the essay OP" Said no one, and yet here I am

Lampy isn't stupid, he's neruodivergent: a rushed-together masterpost

Disclaimer: I'm not a liscened medical professional but I'm neurodivergent who's close to many neurodivergent people so I know when certain traits strike me as very familiar... Also tblt is my comfort movie I've seen it probably over 100 times, not exaggerating, so if anyone here's an expert on it, it's me.

I'm only going by the first movie because while To The Rescue and Goes To Mars probably have evidence to back me up, I don't feel like sitting down to watch them as I don't have them as memorized as the original

Point #1: Lampy is arguably the most intelligent appliance in the movie

Honestly it apalls me that so many are convinced that Lampy is an idiot when he displays some of the most intelligent traits in the movie. I'll just list off some of the most important scenes that show this

1: When discussing a way to get to the city, Lampy comes up with plans that end up failing, true. But we should also consider that not only did Radio and Toaster come up with bad plans before deciding on the swivel chair, but 2/3 of Lampy's ideas involved the same mechanic: on something with wheels(yes the mattress had wheels for some reason) being powered by Kirby

2: "From here you can see the really big lamp!" This scene is simply due to the appliances being sheltered from the outside world. Lampy displays the same level of naive-ness as everyone else: Radio seems earnest in calling the sun a "really big lamp", and Kirby calls the grass "shag carpet". Lampy is not at a lower intelligence in this scene, he's exactly at the same level as everyone else

3: The scene with the storm really sells his intelligence. The appliances have a rudimentary understanding of electricity, most likely from being appliances, but Lampy displays an excelled level of understanding by sacrificing himself for the battery. He understands that batteries are powered by electricity, lightning is electricity, and by using himself as a lightning rod, he acts as the conductive metal to easily transfer this energy from the bolt to the battery. Technically this should have overcharged and fried the battery but we'll suspend disbelief for the sake of this movie.

4: He knew that stacking the appliances to roughly human height, creating a dark environment with ominous sounds, and putting Toaster at eye-level to scare the human with his own reflection... Again, this is an intelligent understanding of how to scare a human

5: It's unclear on whose idea it was to look up Rob in a phone book, however this shows that not only can Lampy read(most likely picked up from being Rob's reading light), ESPECIALLY when Toaster struggles to read, but also has an understanding of phone books, addresses, and finding humans based on family names. I cannot stress how intelligent this is for a sentient desk lamp

There's a few more minor examples, but these are the biggest cases. Lampy is intelligent.

Point #2: Lampy struggles with social cues and doesn't empathize as easily as others

My biggest point here is when people think neruodivergents are "dumb" for having trouble picking up on things like sarcasm when that just... isn't the case. A few notable examples include:

1: When Air Conditioner says "You're a real bright little lamp", Lampy doesn't pick up the sarcasm and thinks he's being complimented. Though he definitely shows a level of emotional intelligence because he looks to Toaster to confirm "hey I was complimented", sees they're still looking angry, and gets the hint that he was insulted without someone needing to explicitly tell him that, to which he then responds with "Heyyy >:("

2: Sometimes he's able to read the room and pick up on tones, but other times he shows a level of emotional density. Legitimately not knowing if Rob had returned even when seeing Blanky disappointed to the point of near tears... But then knowing "brains wouldnt hurt either" was a jab at their intelligence and reacting with appropriate annoyance... But also when Radio says "Things could be worse!", doesn't realize he's just saying that to make Toaster feel better and asks "How could they be worse?"

3: He bullies Blanky alongside Radio and the others, unclear if he's actually being a jerk or just "oh this is what everyone else is doing so this is the normal way to act", but he's legitimately confused when Toaster tries to explain why they're suddenly being nice to him. He doesn't get the "now I feel better" argument because his argument was "Well you were never this nice to him before". Even when Toaster tries to explain why it feels nice, it just doesn't click... until Toaster finds a way to explain that connects personally to Lampy's own emotional state. He has trouble empathizing until realizing "oh this is like this thing that I feel sometimes"

4: Something I've noticed when gathering evidence is that more than once, Lampy goes "Wow..." After someone gloats about themself(Twice with Radio, once with the Computer). It's clear by the third time, when Radio goes "What does that mean?" And Lampy responds "I don't know. [To Computer] What does that mean?" That he doesn't even know what's being gloated about, let alone why he should be impressed. He has the emotional intelligence to recognize when someone's gloating and the "appropriate" response of amazement, but it seems like it never comes from a place of earnest. (While Neurotypicals can and do engage in "performative" behavior, I tend to notice this way more commonly with neurodivergents)

Also the "wow..." Performative thing is VERY reminiscent of Peridot from Steven Universe(a characters who many autistic fans see themselves in and the creator herself saying she doesn't consider Peridot or any of the gems to be neurotypical) going "wow thanks" as her default "this is how I've been taught to show gratitude" response

Point #3: Miscellaneous traits that could be neurodivergent

These traits COULD be interpreted as neurodivergent, but I will admit they could also be interpreted as something else so like take these with a grain of salt

1: Lampy appears to have sensory needs. When sleeping, he needs to tap a rock a few times(presumably to make sure it's "right") before clonking his head on it. It's interesting because rocks aren't a very "lamp" thing whatsoever, and none of the other appliances look for pillow-ish objects to rest on, so this could be a sensory thing.

2: Lampy has an interesting vocal quirk: repetition of phrases at the beginning and end of a sentence. Instances include "How exactly do you propose we do that, exactly?" "All of a sudden you're being so darn nice to him all of a sudden" "The fact is there's just not enough facts" The third one is a bit of a stretch but the first two seem to indicate a possible pattern of speech. Part of me wants to say this could be a verbal tic or some type of verbal stimming, but I've never met anyone who has a tic or stim like this so I can't say it's a neurodivergent thing with confidence, but I wanted to mention this quirk regardless.

3: Physically saying how he feels. Two instances where multiple characters are laughing, Lampy speaks while laughing "That's funny - I'm dying!" "I'm aching with joy!". It's just interesting that no one else speaks while laughing and for whatever reason, Lampy needs to verbalize "Yes I find this very funny" as if simply laughing along isn't enough. I've seen somewhat similar stuff in neurodivergents who have issues expressing emotions implicitly so they state them explicitly instead.

4: I've noticed Lampy isn't touchy... except with Radio. Some neurodivergent people can have issues with physical contact, which could explain that. But I've also noticed that Radio also gives me huge neurodivergent vibes... But more importantly Radio is extremely touchy with everyone, Lampy included, hence them often getting into physical fights but also just- tapping them or wrapping a cord around the other and pulling him close(they're so in love but that's a post on its own). A possible explanation is Lampy having issues with touching others, but either feels comfortable being touchy with Radio(due to emotional bonds and trust) or simply recognizes "Radio likes being touchy so I should be touchy back". A stretch of an argument, I'll admit, but I think the interpretation is there and valid.

In conclusion

I mean idk if Lampy was written to be neurodivergent or if the writers just wanted him to be "quirky" and accidentally gave him a lot of neurodivergent traits, but he reads as very neurodivergent to me(probably autistic or adhd but I'm not a professional and can't diagnose him). But while I can chalk up neruodivergency being one of many possible interpretations of his character, I WILL argue that he's not "stupid" given the evidence we see throughout the movie

Tl;Dr: Lampy is evidently intelligent, but sometimes struggles with social cues, empathy, and overall shows numerous traits of neurodivergency

[jadedepitaph]

I feel that this is getting into "having kids is fundamentally wrong because they will experience pain" territory, which is somewhere I know I struggle to see eye-to-eye with, so I'm not gonna dig too deep there, but I definitely disagree with the sentiment. Life isn't strictly good or bad. It just is. Life is full of possibility. A possibility to be bad, but also a possibility to be good. I've had some rough times, but I've also had some amazing experiences in my time alive that I feel make my life worth having lived, so I've never had any feelings of resentment towards my parents for having me. I don't know if your experiences are different, I can only speak from my own perspective, but from what I've seen of life, I don't think pain makes life unworthy of existing.

What your responses tell me about your views on it is that you believe the chance of their being pain and suffering is too big of a risk to take, so it's better to just not have it at all. (Feel free to correct me if I'm wrong, by the way. I'm only going off of what I'm reading and thinking of your text) This denotes a fear of possibility - very similar to anxiety - as being a major component of the Frenzied Flame's belief system. You worry that the next lord will be just as bad, if not worse, so it's better if there is no lord and no Lands Between to begin with. It's the only guarantee.

Like I said this reminds me a lot of a crippling anxiety mindset, continuing to imagine ways that things can go wrong to the point that you can't bring yourself to do anything at all (believe me, *I've been there*) And similarly to this mindset, nothing is ever truly achieved by it. Nothing bad, but nothing really good. Things either stay as they are or degrade as they are ignored/neglected, as unfortunately for us time isn't very patient.

[TW: I mention suicide below, so if that's a sensitive topic you don't have to read it]

To me, the Frenzied Flame ending is most comparable to committing suicide. You decide that the strain of the world and the pain that sometimes comes with life is too much for you to bear, and you take a lack of existence as a way to run away. You're so scared that the next lord won't be any better, so you decide that it's best for no one to be lord at all. And while you're at it, you get rid of everything else as well.

The issue that I have with suicide is that it doesn't actually solve anything. Someone who kills themself isn't fixing their problems, they're giving up and running away from the burdens and hardships of life. But unfortunately, those burdens don't disappear with us. They still exist, but without us others are forced to take up our burdens in our place. We're never as alone as we think we are, and our actions, even our lack of action, affect those around us.

[ok potentially triggering part is done, sorry about that]

The Frenzied Flame doesn't destroy anything, nor does it promise that nothing will exist after it's done. As long as something exists, even as primordial sludge, there is possibility. For new life, or maybe for something else entirely. And besides, Glintstone Sorcery, Stars like Astel and the Elden Beast, the Alabaster Lords, and even the outer gods are undeniable proof that life beyond the world of Elden Ring exists, and we don't destroy any of it with the Frenzied Flame, nor do we have any guarantee that it's possible for the flame to reach those things. We are not alone, and therefore our burdens, which have gone unfixed and unsolved, will simply move onto others. The gods that started all of these issues will just move on to their next playthings, make all the same mistakes that they made the first time most likely, and the choice to burn a whole world will ultimately change and fix nothing.

The things that plague TLB are much bigger than they seem, and even burning the entire world to the ground doesn't really change much because it isn't *truly* all encompassing. It's all encompassing within a certain scale, but there's more beyond that scale that has the same problems, because those problems permeate all of existence. As long as there is existence, there is possibility. That's how anything came to be in the first place. So until you can find something that can somehow destroy all of existence, (which even the flame can't do. It only factory resets the world, it doesn't actually make anything cease to be it just changes it back) you will never truly end all pain. It'll just exist elsewhere, without you.

The best we can do is just take a shot in the dark. It's scary, leaving things we care about to unknown outcomes, but if we never try, we'll never succeed. It's a chance we have to take if we ever want things to actually improve for anyone else. That's what it means to be alive, and if you don't want that then at this point I don't know what to say to you. There's nothing I can really say to convince you, this is just what I believe.

I think that people who think The Frenzied Flame is crazy, wacky, evil or whatever are the sort that think Lord Gwyn was a swell guy with only good and reasonable ideas. Surely things going on forever and ever and ever is worth it and feasible to have go well.

[zigsnose]

have you played every LI route in twc? if yes how would you rank them?

Yes! But ranking them?? Aw man here we go :/

1. LT

I played this route first, and the emotional rollercoaster alone makes it top tier for me. But it's all the little things too... like the longing looks? The juxtaposition between how A and N show or don't show affection? A sacrificing themself for N's happiness? N's initial cluelessness and then slow realization that something is going on? Amazing. And with the bold/shy flirt options for both, the various options for when you have to choose between them, and the detective's customizable personality, it feels like there's endless ways to play this one route.

I've never seen a love triangle in a supernatural story where the two "competitors" aren't sworn enemies. A and N's friendship dynamic makes it all the more j u i c y and I'm dying to see how that whole mess turns out.

2. N

My detective is Agent Sewell's right hand arm man. She is Agent Sewell everything. She's their confidante, their best friend, their silly rabbit. Seriously, their route is such a feel-good experience. I love how quickly they can go from sweet to spicy then back again, and how they're so assured and open with their feelings for the detective. At the same time there are still things they're hiding from them, which is unexpected and adds another layer of complexity to their character.

(And Nat in particular is just 🥺🥵🥰)

3. M

Dumbass (affectionate). Absolute hornball. Pairing them with a detective that's the exact same way, or complete opposite, is super fun to read. I really like their gradual development from rude and uncaring to soft and loyal, and how they don't even know what it is they're feeling yet, but don't attempt to deny it or push it down (except for that bakery scene in the last demo but nvm).

10/10 can't wait to see their aha moment.

4. A

A is legit the endgame in my main playthrough but their individual route is so frustrating lol. Playing the LT first kinda skewed things for me because I placed most of the reasons for them holding back their feelings on their friendship with N, but I understand now that they have a lot of other baggage that has nothing to do with N. In most slow burn romances I've read, the other character's hangups are known upfront or revealed early on, which makes the wait more tolerable, so not having the details yet is hard.

Their route is like the written form of the "trust nobody, not even yourself" meme and I'm looking forward to when they finally put the gun down 😔

5. F

Listen, friends-to-lovers is an awesome trope and I'm usually here for it. I think all the angsty-angst from the other routes spoiled me for this one though. I was missing a lot of the drama in their route, but I also get that it doesn't need it. Characters can like each other without there being some major obstacle in the way, and I think that's what makes this route special, as well as necessary since the other routes already provide plenty of drama for those who want it. That being said, some parts of F's route didn't hit with me, and I definitely need to replay a few more times to narrow it all down.

I do like that even though F is the most overt with their feelings, you still get to see them be nervous around the detective. The fact that all they wanted was to be chosen, and for the detective to be happy had me saying "awww!!" out loud, multiple times. Overall, I just really appreciate F as a character and the levity they bring to the unit. I hope they and the detective get to stay happy and nothing bad ever happens to them again, because it's truly what they deserve.

[haveatoastwiththisgirlalmighty]

1st Album Review

Firstly, Hi! This is my first album review. I'm very excited to get to do this since music is something I really enjoy and I love to talk about it and analyze lyrics (I do take a look on Genius to see what other people, who may know more about the singer and their lyrics to see what they have to say about the song and lyrics.). With that being said, these are all MY personal opinions. Please do not attack me if you do not feel the same. But I am open to hear your opinions in the comments (please be nice and respectful about it). And please be respectful to others too. Anyway, that's it. Please enjoy!!! <3

“Scaled and Icy” By Twenty One Pilots

Release date: Friday May 21st, 2021

Genre: Like a mix of rock, rap and pop.

Tracks-

Good Day: I think this was a good song to open the album with. It has a very upbeat and catchy tune, along with the lyrics. But with that being said, it is definitely different from their past style. But I will go more in depth with that later. Overall for this song I do quite like it, and it seems like something I would play to make myself happier or even just for fun with friends. I give this song a 7.5/10

Choker: This was their second single that they dropped before the album was released. This song's lyrics seem to give off more vibes from their past albums. Mostly “Vessel”. The lyrics that seem to try and sort of hide the pain but also show it in different ways, “Self-sabotage is a sweet romance. Seems like all I'm worth is what I'm able to withstand. Sooner I can realize that pain is the middleman.” These lyrics hit at pain, but hide it with the very upbeat and catchy tune. I give this song 8/10

Shy Away: The first single released before the album. Again sort of like “choker”, these lyrics seem to have vibes or a similar writing style from their past albums. “Shy Away” seems to be about self acceptance. Don't be afraid to be yourself, don't hide the person you are or who you want to be, “Don't you Shy away”. Through the song, the character or person that they may be singing to has a change. In verse two it says, “When you get home. You barely recognize the pictures, they put in a frame.” Sort of showing that you can't find your true self, or can't even see it. Then in verse three it switches, “When I get home. Boy, you better not be there. You're long gone” Now, I think this can mean two different things. Either that their “true self” is gone and that they cant find it or keep pushing it away because they are too scared to be their true self. Or that their old self is gone. They finally shed their skin (“And leave your skin on the floor”) and found themselves and they are able to be themselves. I think that because I really love the meanings and the message behind the lyrics, I'll give this song a 9/10.

The Outside: Again, the beat is very, very catchy. That's the main vibe I get from the album so far. This seems like the first song that really brings out the sort of rap style in different parts of the songs that we saw a lot in their past albums. Though the beat is catchy and so are the lyrics, I’m not a huge fan of this song in particular, 6/10.

Saturday: Their third, and final single (As of 5/21/21). Okay. . .so the beginning sounds like a song they would use on an “Old Navy” commercial. Buuuutttttttt I will say that this song's lyrics are actually quite cool. The chorus seems to align with an old song of theirs, “Migraine” from their 2013 album “Vessel”. “Slow down on Monday. Not a sound on Wednesday. Might get loud, on Friday. But on Saturday, Saturday, Saturday, we paint the town.” I think that the way they describe the days could correlate with the lyrics from Migraine, “Thank God it's Friday, Cause Fridays will always be better than Sundays, Cause Sunday's are my suicide days.” Either saying how, over the time they have gotten better, their days have changed and no longer feel the way they did. I give this a 8/10, mostly for the lyrics and how it may align with their past song.

Never Take It: This song is calling out to everyone. How people are fighting back, fighting to know the truth about our world. Speaking on how people profit off of lies and separating the world from each other. I think this song has a great underlying message. 9/10

Mulberry Street: Fun Fact- Mulberry is actually a real place in New York. This song is like, when you're feeling out of place. You're different and “Everyone relies on synthetic highs” to sort of deal with that, to deal with not having control over everything. I actually really love this one, the beat and the instruments actually feel like “a synthetic high”, it makes me feel light and airy. I love it, 10/10.

Formidable: This song was written by Tyler and is very close to him since it is about his daughter Rosie. With this being said, I’m not going to diss this song because it is something close to him. Plus I think it's a great song and makes me feel happy and like everyone deserves love. 10/10

Bounce Man: Like a man running from maybe his life or trying to find a new life. They are happy and their friends are begging them to come back home. But his friends are trying to know if he is okay while trying to search for him or giving him reasons to bounce back to them. Like almost all of the songs on the album, I truly just adore the beat of the songs, 7/10.

No Chances: This song gives me so many vibes that take me back to their “Trench” album and era Sort of a dark, twisted beat with lyrics that make you feel like people are after you. 9/10, because I love the way it gives me “Trench” vibes.

Redecorate: This song ends the story. But it actually tells a story of the story in the album. . .does that make sense? Through the album we hear a story of this person who seems to be running in circles trying to find themself, to try and be a better person. In the end they find a way that they can change their life, using the metaphor, “Should I keep it on display? Or redecorate?” 10/10

Recap: Going into this album review, I was scared that I wouldn't like it that much. Since I, and many others, were so used to their old style of music, this was a big change. But with the big change there is a lot of good that comes from it. With this album, Tyler and Josh both seem much happier, like they are in a better head space. And I am so thankful for that, because even though they gave us great music in the past, they really were not in the best head space. I feel like many people have pushed away from “Scaled and Icy” because of the change. But I would much rather Tyler and Josh to give us a different style of music, than to stay how they were. I can't express how proud I am of the both of them, not only for getting help but for fighting through what they did. And for giving us a great album that we can cherish. It is truly amazing.

I love the story that comes with the lyrics, how it shows that even if you're an “outcast” you can still be amazing and push through. You can still become the person you achieve to be. Some songs in the album have a truly great message behind them, and I think that's import. Since many people these days spend forever idolizing their idols or favorite band, they look up to them and it makes a huge part of who they are. So I find it important that artists speak on issues in today's society and pledge for a better life in the world we live in.

My final rating. . .8.5/10.

[uppastthejelliclemoon]

I don't know much about Hestia sooo... ☀️🐟🌷 ❤️💗

☀️ How well does your OC take care of themself? Do they tend to put others before their own wellbeing and if so how often? What is their favourite way to pamper themself?

- She definitely tends to put other cats before her own wellbeing, and makes sure that they’re all taken care of any happy. She’s the type of cat who would try to help anyone she can that’s in need (I mean, just look at her, Sekhmet, and Ares. She’s definitely the type of cat to see the good in anyone she can). When she takes care of herself, she really likes just being able to spend some time by herself, and she loves having some tea with Jubilee at the library. Jubilee’s library is one of her favorite places, because it’s so calm, so spending time with her best friend is one of the best ways for her to take care of herself. 

🐟 What was your OC like as a baby? What were they like as a child? A teenager? An adult? How do you think they’ll develop ten years into their future? Twenty years? Will they live to old age?

- She was a very quiet baby, and very tiny. She got lots of cuddles from her dads, and they were very protective of her. As a kitten, she was super playful and happy, and loved spending time with Jemima, Tumblebrutus, and Pouncival. However, the rest of her kittenhood she was quiet and not super outgoing, because that’s when she found out that Macavity was her father, and she didn’t really want to put anyone in danger and/or make anyone think badly of her. It took quite a while for her to come out of her shell once again, and that really happened when she met Jubilee, because Jubilee was so accepting of her magic that Hestia didn’t feel scared anymore. As a teenager/adult, she definitely becomes more like she was as a younger kitten, and she’s more confident in her magic and her abilities. She’s super protective of her family, but she’s is also a bit more cautious around strangers. Later in the future, she’s definitely going to become the resident magical cat, just like her papa, and she and Jemima are absolutely going to be a team once Jemima becomes the main Jellicle protector like her dad. She’s going to be the best mom, and she’s absolutely going to be an even better grandmother once her kittens have kittens. She and Jubilee are going to tell lots of stories, and I definitely think that she’s going to live to be an old age with Tumblebrutus. 

🌷 How much effort does your OC put into their looks? Do they care much about how they’re dressed or what their hair looks like or are they not bothered? Could they be considered a snob or a slob?

- I definitely don’t think she’s a slob. The main thing that she really takes care of is her mane, because she’s very proud of it, and the time she gets to spend with Tugger when they’re grooming their manes is one of her favorite pastimes. Other than her mane, she really doesn’t spend a huge amount of time on her appearance, because it’s normally just a quick groom and she’s good to go. The only time she really takes a while on her appearance is either when she has a date with Tumble, or when the Ball is about to happen. Special occasions is when she tends to “dress up”, which basically just means cleaning and polishing her collar, and adding a ribbon or two in her mane and around her ears. 

❤️ What inspired you to make this OC? How long have you had them? How have they changed in the time you’ve been developing them?

- So, the inspiration for Hestia came from an unfinished story that was actually my first Cats story that I ever started writing. it was a crossover with Harry Potter, and my OC was Tugger and Misto’s owner. I really liked the relationship that I developed between the three of them, and I thought it had a lot of potential, but the story was just not super interesting. it was basically the same scene written over and over again. I knew that I wanted to create an OC for the Cats fandom, so I took the character I created, and I gave her a new name (I chose Hestia because I love Greek mythology a lot). I’ve had her since I started this blog, so since September! I originally didn’t have an interesting backstory for her, but after being part of the fandom for a little while, I wanted to give her a connection to Tugger and Munkustrap where it would make sense as to why she had magic, and why they would be so ready to take her in. I think originally I just had her as a stray that Tugger and Misto’s girl adopted, so they kind of just ended up as a family. 

💗 Ramble a bit about this character!

- Hestia is so incredibly important to me, because she’s the first OC that I’ve actually invested a huge amount of time into, as well as the first OC that I’ve continued to work on and add things to. I created two other OCs for two other fandoms back when I started publishing my stories (on fanfiction.net. I know, that’s very old), but after publishing their stories, I didn’t really work on them or add anything to them. Hestia’s pretty much my favorite OC that I’ve ever created, and I just love her so much. It means the world to me that I’m able to share her with other fans of Cats, and that so many other people really like her and want to hear more stuff about her. Also, the fact that I’ve been able to meet people because of her and because of other OCs is amazing! She’s definitely very special to me, and I love her very much.