#they can't just have this kind of relationship and not have a 20 chapter story about it

[chronologiical]

why can't the entirety of the tunguska event just be taigong wang & daji's flashback

[pienhime]

my ten manga/game/anime/etc recs for jirai

hiii long time no long ass recs post! i wanna recommend media that is popular w landmine types for newbies to the subculture, and recommendations for those who might have been here long enough to know the most popular media within jirai subculture and want some recommendations beyond that!

so without further ado...

1. Tomorrow, I Will Become Someone's Girlfriend

TW: unsafe sex work, abusive relationships, body dysmorphia, self harm, substance use, misogyny, and parental death

Okay you knew this was coming. It's probably the most popular manga amongst jirai girls as it literally is about Kabukicho, sex work, trauma, and jirai culture. Everyone's seen Yua at this point, and she is a jiraicon, but the other characters are interesting and may be relatable to jirai girls too!

2. Mahou Shoujo Site

TW: sexual assault, r@pe, abusive family dynamics, transphobia, self-harm, suicide, murder, gore, bullying, human sacrifice

This is probably also familiar to people in the jirai community and yandereblr. Super mega fucked-up parody of magical girl animes with a cast of memorable but mentally unhinged and often morally gray-to-terrible characters with a hopeful message at the end. The most unfortunate girls around Japan get given magical girl items to improve their lives, but using them drains their life force- and someone's on the hunt for magical girls, all while the countdown to the apocalypse ticks down on the mysterious magical girl site. DO NOT BOTHER WITH THE ANIME, JUST READ THE MANGA!!

3. Needy Girl Overdose/Needy Streamer Overload

TW: substance abuse, self-harm, murder (potentially), suicide, non-graphic sexual content, abuse (player is being abused by the main character), unreality, internet addiction

Duh. I can't not have this game on here! Created by a renowned menhera subculture artist and featuring Jirai icons Ame-chan and KAngel, this game has blown up unexpectedly since its release, getting art exhibits and collabs with brands like DearMyLove. You play as P-chan, Ame/KAngel's boyfriend and producer, while you try to help her achieve her goals of becoming an influencer and prevent her from killing herself or going insane along the way. If you've been in a relationship like this as the P-chan, I'm sorry we relate but this game was super therapeutic to me so maybe it'll help you process too!! Also the soundtrack fucks. Hard.

4. Neeko wa Tsurai Yo!

TW: agoraphobia, existentialism, substance use (kind of), ecchi (of both adult and high schooler characters), suicidal ideation, internet addiction

This is a super underrated personal favorite I've posted about a few times before. It follows hikki-NEET gacha gamer Niiko, as she faces jealousy of her little sister for being farther in life than her as a high-schooler, the trauma of a particularly horrific job rejection keeping her from going outside or trying for another job, and being totally fed up with her life. It's a pretty depressing read for the first half, but becomes a realistic story about recovery by the end.

5. Wristcut Warriors: Menherachan

TW: suicide attempts, self-harm (duh), parental abuse, parental death, parental neglect, attempted sexual assault, mild gore, societal ableism/sanism

Much more popular in the menhera subculture than anywhere else, but still popular enough with landmine types to be included, and a personal comfort series of mine. This is a satire manga about three teenage magical girls who have to self-harm to transform, meant as an allegory for how suffering and self-sacrifice for the sake of upholding societal norms is seen as more noble in Japan than speaking out etc. It's pretty short with only 20 chapters and some supplemental material, and tons of merch collabs but due to Ezaki being the actual fucking worst i encourage you to only but fanmerch and second-hand.

6. Danganronpa

TW: murder, suicide, ableist depiction of DID, misgendering (kind of, im not getting into ******* discourse so ill put it jic), SA, addiction,and general violence and blood

I'm biased as a Danganronpa multi-kin and selfshipper but I personally think every jirai should play Danganronpa, read the supplemental materials and watch DR3 if they can. Quirky teens with mental issues locked in a school and forced to kill each other or themselves? Prime insanity and mindbreaking ensues, with some really cool characters coming out of the franchise. Despite the premise, theres a pretty hopeful message.

7. Oshi no Ko

TW: stalking, teen pregnancy, exploitation of minors, suicide attempts, murder, terminal illness, age gap relationships, bullying, abortion, parasocial relationships, and... sigh... pseudo-incest is apparently in the manga as well

If you are into idol anime and expect your standard cinderella story about passionate girls and guys hitting it big... Oshi no Ko isn't the idol anime you're used to. This doesn't even follow the hit idol herself- rather, her two children who are reincarnated fans. They have to find their way in the exploitative and often dark showbiz world while trying to solve their mother's murder.

8. Bocchi the Rock!

TW: agoraphobia, alcohol abuse

I only watched this one recently, but it's already an all-time fav. It follows agoraphobic and severly socially anxious Hitori (aka Bocchi), and her newfound friends as they do their best to become a successful local band! They make odd friends along the way and Bocchi starts to try to recover and better herself, with often comedic failures along the way.

9. TUYU's interconnected songs

TW: abuse, substance abuse, unsafe SW, dysmorphia, suicide, self harm, parasocialism

Okay so... ik the timing is bad but I meant to make this list ages ago and this was on it so... a lot of the TUYU songs and MVs are interconnected! Some specifically cover jirai kei and ryousangata otaku topics! My favorite songs and MVs are the ones involving my favorite characters, Anhiro and Anzu, who are heavily featured in the Under Mentality album.

10. School-Live!

MAJOR SPOILERS AHEAD!!!!!! I RECOMMEND GOING IN BLIND FOR THIS ANIME SPECIFICALLY!!

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TW: unreality, major character death, parental death, self-harm, animal death, graphic depictions of delusions and hallucinations

I loved the anime, so I picked up the manga recently. I'm only a little ways in, but I want to complete it since the anime didn't cover it all! You don't even know the plot until the final seconds of the first episode, where it's revealed that Yuki is the only member of the squad who doesn't realize what's going on- she's not in school for class, she's living there for shelter in a zombie apocalypse. Oh, and she sees dead people. She has moments of clarity, and the story often follows other characters' memories and POVs, so you still get to have a clear look into what happened and what's going on for real.

That was my list of my current top ten media recommendations for jirai kei! Please lmk if you decide to give any of these a try! Remember that I also regularly post music recs under #music too! Bye-bye!!

[mykingdomforapen]

LC's Link Click fic shout-outs

I worry I'm going to come off as nagging but I do feel strongly about it. Link Click has some INCREDIBLE fic, written by people who put a lot of time and energy and effort into writing, but they don't always get a ton of reader interaction. I feel like I often find a fic I enjoy, scroll down to comment, and find I'm maybe one of 2 or 3 people to comment on it.

Link Click is technically not a small fandom--on the contrary, it's so incredibly active! But it seems that unless a fic was published in the s1 era or happens to get lucky, this is the norm. Which strikes me as sad, because the fandom is popping and active on other platforms.

So here are a handful of fics (by no means exhaustive) of fics that I've thoroughly enjoyed that I had scrolled down and went, They deserve so much love! (again, not exhaustive!)

liminal by Anonymous

Qiao Ling and Lu Guang talk. Much is left unsaid.

It's such a subtle fic, but so effective in showing Lu Guang's emotions, Qiao Ling's worry, and the nature of their relationship in conjunction to Cheng Xiaoshi. It's truly just so soft and nice.

stain by HeavenlyDusk

The only way for Cheng Xiaoshi to be dead is for Qiao Ling to have died first.

I just love a Qiao Ling confronts Lu Guang about Cheng Xiaoshi's death fic, and this one really captures big sister Qiao Ling and how much she cares about both of her boys. I love it!

resolve and reverberations by macrauchenia

Lu Guang rarely fumbles, rarely cracks, and rarely steps up to the sparring mat first. Nevertheless, on a random day in the middle of September, he does all three. Alternatively, Qiao Ling and Cheng Xiaoshi can't figure out why their best friend seems so *wrong* for no explicable reason.

A slice of life fic that adds such a delicious sprinkle of angst at Lu Guang's expense hehe. But it makes me feel so sad for Lu Guang, who just is so traumatized of losing Cheng Xiaoshi, and then it gives him a soft encouragement at the end. It's so sweet.

Instinct (Part One) by JordannaMorgan

Hired to solve a wealthy client’s personal mystery, Cheng Xiaoshi and Lu Guang discover there are even darker powers in the world than they realized… and the damage left in the fallout will not be easily fixed for anyone.

Man, this fic is so CREATIVE. It is great at suspense, kept me on the edge of my seat from chapter to chapter, and the Cheng Xiaoshi angst is so delicious. And then the ENDING. gahhh, I cannot wait for Part Two and really hope that it will come!! I think about this fic so often

A Day Like Any Other by rane_ne

After three long years, for the very first time ever, Lu Guang finally gets to turn 20.

It's just ... gahhhh. Cheng Xiaoshi is my blorbo, yes, but Lu Guang being so relieved and emotional at the end because he's finally done it, and is turning another year older because he no longer has to dive back because his friend is alive??? GAHHHHH

Memoriam by JordannaMorgan

Even for those who have no powers, photographs are powerful things.

This is a lovely case fic that is so thoughtfully, emotionally, and tenderly told. I love the compassion that the story has for the characters, and it gives me the feelings that the Earthquake arc concluded with--finding joy and kindness even within the tragedy. I really love it.

sept, oct by Toothpaste_Fresh

The first time around, there are no rules, and Lu Guang and Cheng Xiaoshi must learn all of their lessons the hard way. The first time around, Cheng Xiaoshi is the seventh of Liu Min’s victims. The second time around, there will be no seventh victim.

Gosh, this fic is so goooood. I love the speculation of what the first time round was like, and GOSH it's just such a gut punch of dramatic irony, of both CXS and LG being bold and idealistic and naive, and then how it tragically leads to CXS' death. It's EXCELLENT.

Golden Hour by StuckIn_aTimeLoop

The salty breeze feels nice. Cheng Xiaoshi smiles as he kneels down in the sand, happy they managed to make it in time for golden hour. Cheng Xiaoshi holds up the camera to capture his shot.

I LOVE ME SOME PARALLEL SCENES THAT ARE CONNECTED AND INTERTWINED BY AN EMOTIONAL MOTIF!! The juxtaposition of two types of golden hours is done so well, and both are so full of energy of opposite kinds in such a well balanced way. I was so excited when I heard this fic was being written and I was so happy reading it.

the shine in your eyes reminded me of the moon by StuckIn_aTimeloop

Cheng Xiaoshi was barely a child when his parents died. The king took him in, raised him as his own. Now he's older, it is time for him to choose his own knight.

Prince Cheng Xiaoshi and Knight Lu Guang. Need I say more??? It's so indulgent and I love it.

[worldunbent]

chapter notes - natori shuuichi

a compilation of all of midorikawa's chapter notes concerning natori (as of volume 29)

all are from the official viz releases, translated by lillian olsen.

Chapter 7 - He Can See For the first time, Natsume meets someone else who can see yokai too. I was pretty nervous because I was breaking the established rule that only Reiko and Takashi Natsume were different. Natsume kept running away from yokai, but I made Natori into an expert who kept proactively learning about yokai. I wanted to draw someone who indentured yokai even though he doesn't like them. I wanted his mark to look a little like a human figure upon closer inspection. Natori doesn't like Natsume's hypocrisy, and Natsume doesn't like how Natori doesn't bother to explain his actions and makes himself out to be worse than he really is. I feel like Natsume finally realized how difficult it is for people to understand each other, no matter how similar or different they are.

Chapter 11 - The Meeting of Exorcists l enjoyed being able to do another story with Mr. Natori. I have an easy time with plots that advance by things happening, but there isn't as much emotional content, so l was nervous about reader reaction. But they seemed to enjoy it because it was unusual. Natsume is surprised that there are so many others who can see yokai, but he can't even tell yokai and humans apart, so most of the crowd he saw were yokai. And I hadn't drawn a human woman (Ms. Nanase) in a while. There should be lots of things Natsume can learn from Natori that wil make life easier, but it's an interesting question whether those lessons will alter his relationship with yokai. Will he be able to come to an understanding with people who share the same abilities? I was happy to reveal a little more about Reiko, but the difficulty is that focusing on her story would disrupt the episodic nature of the series.

Chapter 14 - Natsume Goes to the Hot Springs Natsume went on his first overnight trip. I wanted to try all sorts of things since Natori was making a repeat appearance, but then I was given the chance to have Natsume be the first manga in that month's issue. Since it's an important slot, l aimed for a story suitable for first-time readers. The two of them have gotten so used to lying with smiles on their faces, but they’re finally realizing that there's something inherently wrong with that. Natori is good at giving advice, but not comfort. At first, l used to feel oddly sad when I was drawing stories about Natsume and Nyanko Sensei, but these days I feel that way with Natsume and Natori. Maybe that means they're starting to understand each other.

Chapters 20 - 22 - Takashi's Friend Natori gets a thankless role, but I don't want to draw just kindness all the time, so he's very useful. When two awkward, clumsy people get together, things might not always end well, but I like such people anyway. It was fun to draw Taki again, and a child like Kai.

Chapters 23 - 26 - Inhuman Thing I didn't have a chance to write a story about Matoba until now due to page constraints or manga cycling issues in the magazine. I had fun when I finally got around to it. Matoba's appearance means Natori's hardships become more obvious. Natori settled upon his current philosophy after a lot of reflection. But then he sees Natsume wrestling with the same choices and slogging through the same place he used to be, and it's both amusing and frustrating at the same time for him. Natsume might realize this and not be able to presume so much on his kindness. Natsume and Natori are left with a problem, so l hope to take my time drawing them dealing with it.

Chapters 39 - 41 - The Harvest Festival The idea was to have Natsume and Natori get asked to do conflicting sides of the same job by yokai and humans, respectively. But when you give these two the same objective, they somehow hesitate, to see how the other makes a move, and agonize over whether they’re doing the right thing. They really shouldn’t be so alike, but it’s like they’re staring into a mirror. This is how they struggle for a solution, while Nyanko Sensei and Hîragi sigh in the background, I’m sure. They take pity upon each other that they have few friends. They want to remain friends and equals even when their opinions differ, and yet they have a strange inferiority complex towards each other.

Chapters 49 - 51 - Beyond the Glass Tanuma wants to help and tries to help, but he can’t. The more he tries to take action, the more he comes up against this wall. Natsume gradually realizes that while he wants to talk to Tanuma, it also puts him in a dilemma. Seeing this, Natori wants to say, “I told you so,” but he hopes that Natsume will be able to succeed where he failed. I was also excited that I could draw Sensei/Natsume with expressions that he doesn’t usually make. Natsume is really not very expressive with his face.

Chapters 52 - 54 - Behind the Chains Natsume is now able to face a variety of things. But I also feel that the distance between him and Natori grows each time they encounter one another. They see the same things and hope for the same outcome, but because their paths are a little different, it's hard for them to take action when they're together. It's a strange feeling. I'm sure Natori wants to remain Natsume's ally, and Natsume wants the same with Natori. I'm happy I got to draw more about Matoba, too. Whereas Natori tries to do what's right and is afraid of making a mistake, I think Matoba is the kind of person who doesn't fear making mistakes.

Volume 14 (Sidebar notes) It feels strange - I'm not quite sure if he's changed since he first showed up. His thoughts towards Natsume are changing, but maybe the man himself won't.

Chapters 60 - 62 - Different Eyes The Book of Friends is the reason yokai come after Natsume. He wants to talk to Natori about it, but since exorcists are a threat to yokai, and since he literally holds the fate of many of them in his hands, he doesn't want to betray them. Back in volume one, Natsume might've taken the Book of Friends and disappeared with Nyanko Sensei somewhere if he really got into trouble. But working on this episode, I don't think he'd be able to do that any longer. How things have changed. I looked at Natsume trying to understand Tanuma even though they live in different worlds, and I thought he was doing the right thing, but the whole thing also felt comical. I wondered how Natori felt when he saw Matoba making Natsume help with the exorcism work. This case was frustrating for Natori, who had to witness his old mentor become so oblivious that he could no longer see yokai in his own house. I think the existence of Natsume, with his different opinions, and Hîragi and the others, continue to affect Natori. I would've liked to draw more about Mr. Takuma and Tsukiko, so I'll do it when I get another opportunity.

Special Episode 15 - A World Without Distortion This was a story I've been longing to work on. I couldn't fit in all the parts I wanted, even though they let me do a two-parter, so I hope to get another opportunity some other time. I'd like to show more of the dilemma and frustration of wanting to do the right thing but having your actions distort your goals.

Chapters 72 - 73 - Closed Room Natsume had made up his mind to keep the book of friends a secret, but Natori ended up overhearing about it from another yokai - quite an undesirable situation. He decided he couldn't pretend it didn't happen. I think it had great meaning for Natsume to tell him with his own words, albeit belatedly. Meanwhile, since Natori had some clue about what it was, I think Natsume's decision to tell him meant more to Natori. I think he's the kind of guy who would act differently based on whether Natsume was willing to tell or not. I can't describe it very well, but with these two, when one of them steps forward, the other stalls out. I was happy I was able to draw Ms. Nanase again.

Chapter 77 - The Two Rings This was another story I had always wanted to do, but the timing never worked out, so I was very happy to get to it now. When I'm drawing Natsume, I always agonize over his dialogue and pick his words carefully. But when I'm drawing the Matoba clan, I don't have to think about the impression they're making, and I just use words that pop up in my head. Mr. Natori is somewhere in between. It's always a bit refreshing to draw the exorcists. I hope people form their opinions of Mr. Matoba based on what's on the page. In good ways and bad, he's a character who lies but is also uninhibited.

Chapter 78 - Tsukihigui I wanted Natsume to have different reactions that usual, so I picked a story not in the past or in the present, but a weird in-between. I debated a lot whether to have little Natsume be taken care of by the Yatsuhara yokai or the humans Tanuma and Taki. But upon further reflection, since Nyanko sensei is yokai, Tanuma and Taki would have a different approach to the situation and be more fun. It would've been interesting to go to Natori and have all three of them stare at each other with furrowed brows, but I discovered that whereas Natori would have a difficult time adapting to a situation like this, the students would display steadier nerves.

Special Episode 17 - A Hand Extended They let me do another episode of Natori as a high school student. There was another anecdote I wanted to include, but it wouldn't fit, no matter how hard I tried to rearrange things. Still, I'm happy I could depict more of Natori and Matoba's relationship. Sometimes you can't come to an understanding with a person, but once you become aware of your own feelings, you can often begin to be more objective. Then you start to see aspects of the person that change your mind, which is natural. But unlike Natsume, Natori can be stubborn and won't allow his feelings to change. It was interesting to see how Natori would feel about the aloof and unwavering Matoba.

Chapter 87 - Natsume in the Moonlight This one was 30 pages, so it was compact, but I wanted to make something that was a little creepy. You know how it's exciting to see a friend late at night, in a different light? This story couldn't be done with Tanuma, who knows Natsume's circumstances. It was only possible with Nishimura, who wouldn't question who the person in front of him was. If Natsume went to visit Kitamoto at night, he'd panic, scold him and send him home. And Tanuma would notice that something was off and cross-examine him. It would get even more out of hand with Natori, causing a domino effect. Though all of them would be fun and exciting. I only realized after the fact that someone who knows about Natssume's circumstances would make things more complicated in this type of story.

Chapters 92 - 94 - The House of Promises I have a memory of some boys climbing the gate of the town hall to pick some loquats at the end of spring and getting scolded. I made it seem like spring when the chapter appeared in the magazine, but then I heard that loquats ripen in early summer, so my older sister helped me race to redraw the clothing into something more summery before the graphic novel release. I enjoyed drawing the exorcists. Mr. Natori just can't catch a break and Mr. Matoba has many things going for him, but he often gets shut out. They don't really get along, and they're skeptical of each other even when real empathy is extended. Natsume is always at least trying to listen, so conversations are easier with him present. No matter what, Mr. Natori is older, and Mr. Matoba is younger. End of story. When I include the exorcists, there are all these dilemmas and convolutions that make things complicated and fun to draw. It feels fresh to me. I get nostalgic for the first time Natsume and Mr. Natori met when they're together. Their bond is getting deeper, but it was easier before for Mr. Natori to casually invite Natsume on outings. When you know someone a long time, there are more things to say, but sometimes, just as many things remain unsaid.

Chapters 103 - 104 - Where Vessels Lie in Slumber* I was so happy to work on a longer story for once. My head starts filling up with what to do next while I'm still working on the current episode.when I'm in one-shot mode. But being able to linger on a story arc reminded me of the excitement I felt back when I first wanted to be a manga artist. I still have a lot of storylines I'd prefer not to cut short, so I hope I get more opportunities like this. I've wanted to do this particular story for a long time, but. I feel like it could only be done now because of how Natsume's currently feeling. I hope you can pick up on how Natori and Matoba's relationship changes subtly depending on the situation, and that you get a feel for their solidarity as exorcist peers. It was so fun drawing everything I wanted to include: Natsume's faith in his friends; Natori's belief that he can still offer help even as an exorcist; Matoba, who's sometimes prevented from action because he knows and sees too much; Tanuma, who's surely able to help, but is unable to accompany Natsume; the cats protecting their secret; Nyanko Sensei. And of course there were even more things I wanted to expand on, so I'll take my time working them out.

*The first three chapters of this arc are in the previous volume and there's not enough in the other note for me to include.

Chapter 116* - The Younger Cousin This is a story I'd been saving for a long time. I had a clear vision of what I wanted to do, and I was worried about whether I could pull it off. I finally managed to thanks to my editor and everyone who supported me. I hop I was able to depict Natori's point of view, since he slips between the yokai and human worlds much more than Natsume, and how that appears from the yokai point of view. While Natsume has a narrow set of experiences in a narrow field, Natori has so much freedom and yet somehow seems much more trapped. I hope I can depict the path he's taken and the path he's going to take.

*Again, this arc is split between volumes and there wasn't much in the previous afterword.

[crayonkant]

Saezuru Chapter Titles

Well, my archival obsession with the chapter covers continues. Here are all titles to date as of October 2023.

Legend, based on the illustration:

Yashiro - italics Doumeki - bold font Yashiro and Doumeki - blue font

[1] Defiant, or twisted, there's nothing else to do... but continue living.

[2] Unconsciously, love is born.

[3] Sentimental, irritating, suffocating.

[4] Quietly, secretly... passionately.

[5] Just staying by your side...

[6] So close, yet our hearts are afar.

[7] There are things I want to tell you, but I have no words to convey them...

[8] You don't know how important someone is to you until you're about to loose them...

[9] It's so cold, it gives people a lancinating kind of pain, yet, there is an unspeakable sense of comfort. (note: unusual color cover with Misumi and Yashiro's naked legs)

[10] Back then, when he was still a nobody...

[11] Those unseen wounds, hurting little by little.

[12] Something is about to change...

[13] Downtrodden, life continues -

[14] The past... begins to stir - (note: unusual color cover with a bird's pov and tiny unrecognizable figures)

[15] (no text)

[16] I want to protect... I want to be protected... this contradiction is - (note: unusual cover with story panel of Hirata on the ground and speech bubbles. One bubble could be read as continuation of the title : "[this contradiction is - ] ... pretty dangerous".)

[17] I don't want to vanish from your gaze. (note: unusual cover with story panel and speech bubbles. D: "You could say I'm no match for the force of this person." Y: "I don't want to vanish from your gaze".)

[18] Everyone goes on living with the weight of the past on their shoulders. (note: unusual Nanahara? cover)

[19] Even the smallest things can alter fate.

[20] Someone's hatred towards someone Someone's feelings towards someone - (note: unusual car chase cover)

[21] no cover

[22] The time for everything to change has come -

[23] Even though all I want is to love him it will only hurt him...

[24] I can't allow myself to be touched by those hands

[25] What is this The way this is Is not the way that I know (note: crazy double page cover that will get its own post)

[26] nothing

[27] When it's too late I always think... "Why..?"

[28] A past that can never be erased Memories that won't be forgotten

[29] The feelings that ensnare and the feelings that are real... In the end, will they be revealed as love, or...

[30] Little by little... Things start to go crazy.

[31] So many thoughts, So much anticipation, All blending together...

[32] There's something I've always wanted to know.

[33] I've never needed Anyone Or any thing

[34] nothing

[35] Endings and beginnings Beginnings and endings (note: could also be read "Beginnings and endings Endings and beginnings")

[36] nothing

[37] 4 years have passed... and time flew by in parallel lines

[38] Living under the same sky

[39] Finally, things are moving

[40] There is something in the memory that can't be erased.

[41] I never planned on meeting him again

[42] Feelings are aching

[43] Things that changed Things that haven't And some things that cannot be changed.

[44] Yashiro and Doumeki's On equal footing New relationship Begins! (note: strangest title, so different in style than all others)

[45] After being separated for 4 years, The thing Doumeki saw was...

[46] I thought I fully understood that guy...

[47] What is it you desire?

[48] Pretending as if nothing happened

[49] Even if our positions changed, The feelings are...

[50] Wanting to destroy everything (note: unusual cover, portrait of Yashiro with only Doumeki's gloved hand in the picture...)

[51] I didn't know. Was this what I wished for? (note: unusual cover showing only legs, assuming it's the both of them)

[52] nothing

[53] What I really wished for was...

[54] For us both, There are things we don't know

[hestzhyen]

Chapter 47 Yaoibachi Posting

Hokazono-sensei really slammed the gas this chapter, man. No search and rescue mini-arc here- just going back to the series' roots by having our good guys slaughter nameless mooks in suits. Excellent decision! But goodness it feels like he's trying to rush through this set-up to get to what he really wants to say this arc. I trust the emotional impact to land so I guess this really is the Kunishige lore/flashback arc since that's where the narrative focus went.

First off, I got the official arc name wrong last post. It's actually The Sword Bearer Assassination Arc. So, uh, maybe don't get too attached to any of the guys Chihiro will be trying to save. Might be difficult though if they're all as endearing as Uruha.

This Fucking Manga, Man

I just can't even this chapter. I CAN'T. I'm sitting here drafting this on Thursday and I'm in awe of the spreads. Cover and color pages? Stunning. Fanservice? Immaculate.

Yes, we got onsen fanservice after all!

Now accepting bets on who Uruha will be shipped with more: his personal guard guy or Kunishige.

Of course it pulls double duty to give us insight into Uruha and, by proxy, Kunishige. I was right on the money about Uruha being a free-spirited dude with a unique perspective last week... but I didn't imagine he'd basically be a wholesome AF version of Sojo. The Kunishige worship from this guy is off the fucking charts (and so are the Hakuri-Chihiro parallels)!

"This blade suits you" from Kunishige is a callback to Hakuri's words to Chihiro in chapter 20. I love it when authors do this shit. Can we infer that Chihiro felt the same level of awe for Hakuri? Probably not, but he did need to hear that affirmation quite badly, so it's still significant.

You don't get to comment on other guys being weirdly obsessive over a Rokuhira on sight like that, Hakuri.

THESE DUMBASS GOOBERS. Poor Chihiro's still collecting weirdos while Hakuri has no self-awareness at all. I'm in tears this is just too good. Hakuri, I love you. You're perfect.

I don't wanna get hyped after just one chapter for something that probably won't be happening. I get just about everything wrong week after week anyway! But I wouldn't mind Chihiro and Hakuri's relationship being compared to and developed through Uruha and Kunishige, just sayin'... Please... Hokazono-sensei went through the trouble of making sure we know that Uruha is obviously meant to parallel Hakuri, so that won't go to waste right?!

TFW the light of your life dies and leaves you behind.

'Cause this feels like a set up... I don't know, man. It's impossible to guess how the story's going to go but I get the sense that Uruha is going to have a lot to teach both of these guys- Hakuri in particular.

Neither Hakuri nor Uruha put a lot of value on their own lives until a Rokuhira showed up to praise them. And they're both freakishly devoted to the image of their savior to the point that they're willing to fight and possibly die for them. So we could be exploring that aspect of Hakuri's mindset as a subplot while the larger machinations swirl around them, since it's a pretty potent character flaw and all. I need Sazanami "defend to the death" Hakuri being convinced to give a shit about himself so, so badly.

Goddamnit, please stop hurting yourself.

Hakuri's also unable to use Isou due to burnout, as expected. Still wondering if the Kamunabi knows he can use two sorcery techniques but I won't hold my breath on getting answers for that. It's not necessary for this to be addressed unless it would cause some kind of friction, after all. And for as much as I would like to see the council's reaction to Hakuri and his circumstances, I don't think it'll be relevant. We'll just have to assume they either don't know his last name or are completely fine with a Sazanami being included in the plans. I wanna be wrong though. I really do.

Contract, Powerscaling, and Naming Conventions

We learned some interesting things this chapter. One, the theory of the Lifelong Contract erasing a Bearer's innate sorcery is confirmed. So if we are ever going to learn what Chihiro's sorcery is, Enten will have to be an exception to the other six swords, or he has two sorceries and the contract only nullifies one. I'm not sold on the second one since Hakuri only overworked the storehouse but is limited using both of his, implying there's a common pool of spirit energy they draw from. Looking forward to more details on how this works!

It also seems that the Bearers weren't tucked away in "safe" locations until Kunishige's death three years ago. So they probably got to live their lives as they wished until the Hishaku ruined things... which would explain how Sushi guy ended up at a restaurant. I feel like each location could have special meaning to each Bearer so hopefully we see more about how and why they ended up where they did.

Hiyuki also wasn't lying about the Kamunabi's forces being spread thin. Just 14 talented sorcerers to defend each Bearer, and even then Uruha would have felt more reassured if Azami or Hiyuki was there.

Nice going, Azami! So we know you're hella strong since Hiyuki's the best fighter in the Kamunabi- the only one in the force who can contend with Kunishige's WMDs (ch. 18). I think a Bearer would know how strong an enchanted blade is, so we can assume that Uruha's assessment of Azami's strength is accurate. Azami can't be sent out on the ground like the rank and file as a higher up now, but I'm highly anticipating him demonstrating that fearsome sorcery of his.

We also got another name! Kuregumo's original bearer was named Misaka (巳坂). This is most probably a family name like Uruha (more on him in a bit). 巳 (mi) means "snake" for wisdom and intelligence and 坂 (saka) means "slope/hill" or "embankment" for steady progress, a peaceful life, security, and/or strength and resilience. We'll definitely learn more about them- it's just a matter of when. The upside of Hokazono-sensei being stingy with names is that we all know to sit up and pay attention when one gets dropped.

We also got Uruha's given name this chapter (Youji [洋児]) and the name of his blade (Kumeyuri [酌揺]). Strange names for a strange fellow, but that's expected of someone whose family name implies a free-spirited nature with a unique outlook I guess. 洋 (you) is a kanji that specifically describes the ocean in an expansive, almost foreign sense. Not just the sea in general, but vast waters extending far away from one's current location. It has a ton of possible interpretations, naturally: courage, ambition, adaptability, limitless possibilities, harmony, inclusiveness... on and on. 児 (ji) means "child" in a straightforward way and carries connotations of joy, hope, and potential. So Uruha Youji [lacquer feather ocean child] is quite the character in his name alone.

Kumeyuri's name doesn't really give us any insights into it's potential abilities or theme, unless Kunishige was drunk (or wanted to be) when he made it. 酌 (kume) is the kanji used for pouring sake and implies generosity, abundance, and celebrating joy. 揺 (yuri) means to shake, sway, or jostle and connotes a sense of energy, playfulness, enthusiasm, and fun. I'm getting a lot of entertainment value trying to imagine how a sword named after a shaky pour of sake works, let me tell you. Somehow it seems very apt for Uruha already though.

Dead Dad Trivia

So Kunishige himself requested to hold on to the blades- it's very certain now that whatever happened during the war changed him into the man we met in chapter 1. Seitei war flashbacks please, I'm dying over here! But keep up the layering and scattering of little details! Don't feed me too fast! Make me wait and get all impatient every week! Torture me-

Curious that many people who seem to have known Kunishige doubted his potential as a father. Whether they see him as a savior or a selfish prick, most of them scoff a the idea of him having a kid. Maybe Kunishige was just a guy with layers like his son, so only those who actually knew him well would believe he could be a decent dad. We saw him goofing off with Shiba and Azami when they were Chihiro's age in chapter 12 so it's not like he was a stoic since birth (he said himself that Chihiro inherited that trait from his mom). We're going to slowly piece together the real Kunishige this arc and I can't wait!

Also a bit odd that few people see the resemblance between Chihiro and Kunishige until Chihiro's passion shines through or they get a good look at how he carries himself. Won't hang my hat on the blood test showing that Kunishige wasn't his bio dad after all, but the groundwork is there if it does. Regardless of what happens, though, it's pretty obvious that Chihiro is Kunishige's son thanks to the ideals he took to heart.

Hishaku Theory

RIP bandanna guy you were too cool to live.

Yeah, "enemies of the state" isn't a term you use for a regular criminal gang, no matter how threatening they are. I'm more convinced than ever that the Hishaku are primarily a political threat to all of Japan (though still very willing to admit that I might be reading too far into things).

Kyora's conversation with an unknown Hishaku member in chapter 22 referred to "dissidents". That's also a very pointed descriptor for people with differing political ideologies, especially ones agitating against the "legitimate" ruling group.

Could Soya come back to finish what his dad started? Meh.

This implies that Kyora and the Sazanami clan were aligned with the Hishaku's goals beyond merely business. The Hishaku probably have sympathizers in and outside of mainstream society, and likely within the Kamunabi itself as well. And then there's the kiku flower -which has strong ties to Imperial imagery- in the vase that's shown up twice now, arraigned alongside other flowers symbolizing deep desire and patience.

So I think the Hishaku lost the war and have been plotting their comeback for a long time now. How does this tie into Chihiro's personal journey beyond the revenge mission? We'll have to see. John Hishaku's goals and methods are shrouded in secrecy right now, so I look forward to learning about why he needed to foster Chihiro's hatred to enact his plans. Cool job making the core plot hook so compelling, author-san!

HakuHiro Brainrot

I have to, I'm sorry. This chapter was a godsend.

Give me an inch and I'll run a thousand miles with these two.

Chihiro acknowledging that Hakuri is special! Feels like a very deliberate reference to the language used in Chapter 33, especially by Tenri. Makes sense since Tenri was a parallel of Chihiro's devotion to his father and his legacy.

"Hakuri- my older brother by a year- is different." would have flowed a little better, but it's a clunky sentence no matter what...

The reference was probably made in order to imply that Chihiro sees Hakuri as a brother (or family in general) via the Tenri connection. However, that won't stop me from shipping them romantically because I'm illiterate as fuck.

ANYWAY.

FOOD IMAGERY WITH HAKURI FOR THE FIRST TIME SINCE ICE LADY!!

Hakuri's sharing snacks with Chihiro on the train- he feels so safe with his samurai! And this is the first time we've seen Chihiro accept food since he reluctantly (metaphorically) shared dango with Sojo in chapter 17! He's rejected Shiba's offers, provided one-sidedly for Char, resigned himself to connecting to Sojo to understand him, skipped getting ice cream, and missed the gaming session, but he accepted Hakuri's small gesture...! I'M GOING FERAL

Hakuri is canonically the only character Chihiro's accepted emotional comfort and support from since his dad died. On screen so far, at least.

Hakuri, who was deeply traumatized when he last tried to connect with someone, feels secure enough to do it with Chihiro...

Chihiro, who is only at ease with providing comfort, accepts it for the first time from Hakuri...

The first time we see them exchanging the comfort/security visual metaphor is while they're on their own...

And it's just so casual for them to do this...!

I sounded confident when I called Hakuri the heroine of Kagurabachi in that long-ass post I made a few months ago, but... I was actually right?! Hakuri is Chihiro's first and only emotional safe haven. He's got plot-related utility and can hold his own in a fight, but he's not going to be outshining the likes of Chihiro or Hiyuki any time soon. His faith in Chihiro has been his most valuable contribution to the story- even moreso than awakening to his storehouse ability. The only thing that's missing at this point is the chance of HakuHiro being canon! Seriously!

Alright void... thanks for letting me yap again. Definitely not going to go back to writing fan fiction for the first time in 10+ years because this stupid edgy sword manga broke me. Nope, never, not me...

[from-the-coffee-shop-in-edoras]

For a reason I can't tell you yet 🤐, I'm thinking a lot about Bryttalíf and Hálwinë today... Do you want to tell us some headcanons you have for them?

I WILL make my own headcanon public once it's not a spoiler for unpublished pHORSE chapters anymore! (Not that they will appear in pHORSE, only that the HC is related to some of my OCs who haven't had their big reveals yet!)

I am very intrigued that there is any kind of connection between my Háma’s family and a HC of your pHORSE story, and I look forward to hearing more about it (at the appropriate time of course)!

I’m about to unload probably way more than you ever needed/wanted to know, but I’m not sure the fic I was working on that would include a lot of this is gonna work so I might as well spoil it all! So, here’s a bunch about Háma’s family, which also naturally features lots of Háma himself!

Art by @ rinthecap (I’ve got no art of Háma’s family but imagine he’s thinking about them!)

—Bryttalif (Brytta to her friends) was originally from Harrowdale. Growing up in the mountains gave her a hearty constitution — she was outdoorsy and strong and not afraid of hard work or getting dirty.

—Her father was a swordsmith, and they moved to Edoras when she was a teen because there was a bigger market for his work there. But a capital city is a more expensive place to live, and so Brytta trained as a midwife in order to add another income to the family. She was a natural, and by her mid-20’s she was the most popular midwife in Edoras, known for being especially calm and efficient.

—Because she was unmarried, she still lived at home. Her father was *extremely* domineering, and both Brytta and her mother spent a lot of their time trying to avoid upsetting him.

—He pushed her *hard* into a relationship with Grigan, the son of one of the wealthiest merchants in the city. She liked Grigan well enough — he was much nicer than her father, at least — and she wanted to please her parents, who clearly thought the match would be advantageous for all of them, so she tried to make Grigan happy even though she never loved him.

—That resulted in her getting pregnant while they were still courting, and Grigan freaked out. He ran, leaving Edoras to go stay at a family estate in the Westfold, and refused to acknowledge that he’d ever had anything to do with her.

—This obviously made things very hard for her — the gossips and scolds of Edoras had a lot to say about an unwed pregnant woman (fed by damage control from Grigan’s family), and her father, in particular, was furious with her for having “ruined” his plans. But into this chaos and unhappiness walked Háma!

—He met her by chance when he came to commission a sword from her father. (Their meet-cute is here as a WIP snippet.) They started to spend time together, and she fell for him hard, knowing almost immediately that she felt far differently about Háma than she’d ever felt about Grigan or any other man.

—She was (happily) shocked when he seemed to like her just as much. He didn’t care what anyone else thought of her (“a man of worth trusts in his own wisdom”) and wasn’t put off by the idea that she was going to have a baby (“often times the best things in life are those that were unlooked for”).

—There was quite a stir in town when people found out that Háma had taken up with her. It even came up when he was considered for promotion to captain of the king’s guards. One of the king’s advisors asked what it said about him that he was consorting with someone like Brytta; Háma answered that Brytta was clever and kind and brave, and so it said that he was a lucky man. (He got the promotion, obviously, with Théoden reasoning that a man of unshakable loyalty is exactly who he wanted in charge of his safety.)

—The stir quieted down fairly quickly once people realized the whole situation was a lot less interesting and salacious when there was a loving couple at the center of it. And in all the best ways, Háma and Brytta were boring — they got engaged and were happy and lived a quiet life with a small, tight circle of friends and family.

—When Hálwinë was born, Háma loved her like she’d always been in his plans. She was even registered as “Hálwinë, daughter of Háma” (Háma cried when Brytta asked him if he’d like to be Hálwinë’s legal father). When he and Brytta were finally married two months later, he carried Hálwinë through the whole ceremony.

—Hálwinë was an enormous daddy’s girl. She loved to braid his hair (badly), go for rides on his shoulders and listen to him tell stories. He was her first hero.

—It tickled her to see the other guards all treat him with the respect due to a superior — she didn’t totally understand it, but she could clearly see that her dad was Important and she agreed!

—Once he became door warden, she liked to visit him while he sat watch, and Théoden knew her by sight from how often Brytta brought her to Meduseld to see Háma, give him a hug and sit with him for a few minutes.

—(Incidentally, she became a bit fixated during these visits on Gríma, who she saw often. After Gríma scowled at her once, Háma told her that Gríma was a sad man who used his sadness as an excuse to be mean. This made her decide that Gríma just needed a friend, and so she tried repeatedly to befriend him, always waving and saying hi and sometimes bringing him little flowers she’d picked or a treat that Brytta had intended for her. Gríma found this very confusing and eventually told Háma to keep his brat away from him; this is the closest Háma ever came to murder.)

—Hálwinë was barely 6 when Háma died. She had a hard time truly understanding what had happened and would periodically ask Brytta when he was coming home. It wasn’t until the next year, when Brytta was able to take her to Helm’s Deep to see his grave, that it really sank in. She went back to visit him there regularly for the rest of her life.

—Brytta was 5 months pregnant when Háma died. She had a boy and named him Wilspell (“welcome news”). The need to care for Hálwinë and Wilspell carried Brytta through this extraordinarily painful time, along with the love and support of Háma’s sisters and the guards, who looked in on their old captain’s family often.

—Once Hálwinë and Wilspell (“Willie”) were old enough, Brytta went back to work and was the one to deliver Éomer’s kids because she was *still* the best midwife in Edoras and would be until she retired.

—Grigan came back to Edoras to take over his family’s business when Hálwinë was 13, and he and Brytta inevitably crossed paths. He sort of apologized, and she told him it was all for the best because things had worked out much better for her without him. She asked Hálwinë if she wanted to meet him, but Hálwinë had no interest in a father that wasn’t Háma.

—Brytta never remarried, though she had offers. When she died, she was buried at Helm’s Deep beside Háma, the only woman buried there among the war dead.

So…like I said, way more than you probably wanted! Thanks for asking and hope it wasn’t a total overload! (And yes, the Háma of my HC is a dream, he’s a dream based in reality — I borrowed the Háma - Brytta love story from an elderly relative of mine, who was pregnant and unmarried in the 40’s when she met the love of her life!)

[coeluvr]

Frequently Asked Questions

Hello! There have been a lot of repeated asks and I wanted to answer them once and for all so I don't clog the dashboard with the same thing over and over. :)

What is the purpose of MC being a child in the beginning?

I wanted MC to be at their most vulnerable place possible so MC is a child in the beginning. In Chapter 2 there is a timeskip to when they are 15 and then in Chapter 3 they are 20.

Does MC have to become the Royal Consort?

Yes.

How many books will there be?

I'm planning on this being a duology!

Will we be able to choose X, Y, and Z?

Regarding the MC, you will be able to choose the following:

Appearance except for their eyes which are red by default. *

Pronouns

Gender identity

Type of compliments they prefer

Type of clothing they wear

Tattoos / Scars

Coping mechanisms **

Personality and Public Image

The things that are set are:

MC's age

MC's eye color *

Due to the events of the story, your MC will want revenge at the beginning of the story no matter what. ***

* Why are MC's eyes red by default?

Each of the royal families has a signature eye color, MC's family's eye color is red. Eye color is extremely important in this story.

** What kind of coping mechanisms are there?

Here is a list of the current unhealthy coping mechanisms:

Alcohol abuse or excessive drinking.

Excessive oversleeping.

Chronic insomnia or complete lack of sleep.

Overextending oneself through excessive work.

Engaging in unnecessary risk-taking.

Engaging in a high number of sexual activities excessively.

Neglecting self-care entirely.

Engaging in excessive or impulsive spending.

Here is a list of hobbies that are considered a coping mechanism if your MC does not have an unhealthy coping mechanism:

Dancing

Singing

Playing instruments

Cooking / Baking

Hunting

Forging weapons

Gardening

Painting

Writing

Reading

How many can I choose?

You can choose:

2 hobbies = 2 healthy coping mechanisms, mostly treated as hobbies

1 hobby + 1 unhealthy coping mechanism

1 hobby + 2 unhealthy coping mechanisms

Is this mandatory?

Your MC must have a hobby but they do not have to have an unhealthy coping mechanism.

Which unhealthy coping mechanism is the worst for each RO's route?

I'm not a fan of spoilers and I think it will be much more interesting to see for yourself later on.

Can MC have a pet?

Yes, MC gets a pet in Chapter 4.

Does MC have any powers or can they become a mage?

No.

*** Why is MC set on revenge in the beginning of the story?

MC lost their entire life at the hands of Luceris and then got forced into the role of the Royal Consort. It wouldn't make sense, to me (the author), if young MC didn't want any sort of retribution.

Can MC decide not to pursue revenge once they are older?

Yes.

Just to make sure, there is a path of revenge in this IF, right?

Please read the intro post and what I wrote above.

Quick answer: Yes.

So MC can kill Luceris as revenge?

Yes. This is the only possible death I will confirm so please do not ask me about the other characters.

Can MC do X, Y, and Z as a form of revenge?

Why don't you play and find out?

At least tell us if MC can romance Helios for revenge.

Yes, that will be possible.

If MC does that, can they also genuinely romance someone else?

No. The ROs are all on friendly-ish terms with each other and would not have that type of relationship with MC if they were playing around with Helios.

Remember, the routes WILL lock at some point, until then everyone is free game.

MC will be able to have flings / one-night stands in any route though.

Will any of the ROs support a vengeful MC?

Your first mistake was assuming they will know about MC's plans. MC can't go around telling everyone about what they want to do.

If they find out then some ROs will support them (I will not be saying which) but it also depends on the level of MC's revenge as majority of the ROs have a good moral sense.

...Will they at least still love MC even if they don't agree with MC?

Unfortunately for them, that is very likely. ;)

Moving on... who can we have a fling with?

The following list will be updated as characters are introduced:

Lord Eadred / Lady Eadith

The others have not been introduced yet!

Is romance mandatory?

No.

Can MC sleep with the ROs without having actual feelings for them?

It is possible to sleep with Soarine or Vincent without having any romantic feelings for them. This type of relationship is not available for the other ROs.

Does MC have to engage in [insert immoral things]?

No.

Isn't MC being the Consort of a grown man weird?

Yes, it is. People in the story do not think it is normal or acceptable.

It is supposed to make you feel uncomfortable.

For some reason a Luceris x MC romance sounds good...

Absolutely not. If you send me an ask with this type of content you will be blocked.

Is Luceris and MC's relationship considered abusive?

Yes.

Is Alistair really dead?

Yes he is. It is up to you if you want to believe me or not.

Can I call Hunter [insert gendered term]?

Sure but I will not answer asks in which they aren't referred as they/them. I don't want people to think they are a specific gender in my head.

Is Hunter really an RO?

Yes.

Then why is Hunter's route so angsty?

Wait and see!

Will MC have to confess to Hunter 24/7 to get them to like them back?

No, just show you care for them.

Does every route have angst?

Yes. Even the ones that are "easy." :)

Will there be cheating in the game?

No, none of the ROs will cheat on MC.

I do want to say that being involved with other people before MC and the RO get into a relationship is not considered cheating since they don't owe MC anything.

The same goes for MC, they can be involved with whoever they want until the relationship becomes official.

When do the routes lock?

Very late into the game, currently the plan is 2-3 chapters before the end of book 1 but each route will lock at different times.

When the routes lock, will MC and RO be in a relationship?

That depends on the RO. The only thing I can say is that feelings will be somewhat mutual.

Is NSFW allowed?

Yes.

When's the next update coming?

When it's ready!

Wait... Did I miss an update?

Please check the game's itch.io page and take a look at the posts. I will always post something to let everyone know about updates or other extra content.

You should add the game to your collection to receive notifications of posts.

Due to an update I had to restart the game for it to work properly, is there any way to avoid this?

This is a WIP so there will likely be instances where you will have to restart the game entirely for it to work properly and that is just the way it is. I would suggest for you to keep a save from earlier chapters as they are less likely to be modified.

When does MC become an adult in the main story?

As I mentioned before, MC is 20 in Chapter 3.

Can you add [customizable thing]?

You can suggest it but I can't promise anything.

Can we draw the characters and imagine them differently?

Yes, you can draw them.

Yes, you can imagine differently as long as it does not whitewash any characters. I don't want to see fair white pale skin Luceris/Helios/Fadiya/Hunter.

Yes, I've seen it before and hated it.

Can we write fanfiction?

Yes! I won't interact with it to protect myself so please don't send it to me.

Can we create other types of fanworks?

Yes!

You don't answer my questions.

Sorry! For a better understanding of what I answer and what I do not answer see my ask guidelines.

How would the ROs react to X, Y, and Z?

I'm guessing you didn't read my ask guidelines.

All the asks are very appreciated, but I'm afraid you will be disappointed if you send me these because I won't answer.

[Any theory]

I love reading them so keep them coming but I will no longer post them!

If you wish for others to see it and discuss it with you, I suggest joining the Official Discord Server.

This whole thing is problematic to me.

Great, this is supposed to have problematic elements and none of the characters are saints.

Why can't we choose [insert thing + complaining]?

Please write fanfiction or something else and do not come to me to complain.

Are Luceris and Lancelot just friends?

Stick around and find out.

Luceris or Lancelot romance route when?

They were adults when MC was a child. I would rather die than write that.

Luceris is a loser pedo!

He is a loser but not the latter. He doesn't find any children attractive. Hope that clears things up! :)

Well then... you're the pedo!

Please look up what that word means and stop throwing it around.

I don't like this.

Don't read it. :)

Can I give you [insert gift]?

It makes me extremely uncomfortable so I would prefer it if people didn't gift me things. If you wish to support me please do it through Ko-Fi, Patreon, or Itch.io donations.

[Any rude comment]

I don't care.

[Any praise or jokes]

I might not reply but I read all of them! Thank you for being here. 💗

That's all I can think of right now. This will be updated as I remember more.

Don't hesitate to send me asks that weren't answered here!

[vechter]

do you have any fics where dick kicks ass? ive been reading a lot of relationship fics lately and i just wanna see him do some cool stuff! or any comics <33

hmm, all the fics i've read are older ones tbh because going into the dick grayson tag on ao3 is a true test of my patience and mental health now. but here's a couple of my favs:

greatest of ease by ijustwanttodestroy: multi-chapter outsider pov and it's just stellar. it was one of the first few dc fics i read so it will always have a special place in my heart.

strong enough to carry him by one_step_closer_to_death: dick and jason centric one shot. all the angst.

big d stands for big (demon)or by danishsweethearts: multi-chapter and still updating but this one is great. dick grayson as a part time exorcist. great voice for dick.

the primacy of personal conscience by birdsofthesoul: also one of the first few dc fics i read! multi-chapter, multi-pov, set in the modern comics era which is rare. genuinely fantastic writing and grappling with the morality and ethics of vigilantism. kinda iffy about some aspects of it but i adore this one.

as for comics:

nightwing (1996) #140-153: tomasi's entire run is just great. competent and complex dick grayson, when will you come back from war?

the brave and the bold (2007) #14-15: short story also featuring hawkman, deadman and green arrow, excellent stuff

let them live!: unpublished tales from the dc vault (2021) #2: one shot with a manipulative, earnest and hyper-skilled dick grayson

teen titans (1996) #12-16: this one also features garth, lilith, roy and wally. it has team-leader!dick & rlly shows how much everyone looks to him for directions + how well he can rise to that

justice league of america (2006) #41-60: this one is part of his batman era and it has donna! rlly highlights what a skilled tactician he is + how deceptive he can be

batman/nightwing: bloodborne (2002): i know i talk about this one a lot but it's just so good. dick grayson, you will never recover from that kind of devotion.

jla (1997) #68-75: obsidian age my beloved <3 dick leads a kinda B-team justice league to save the main one and he's great while doing it

batman and robin (2009) #20-22: okay, i know this is primarily a morrison run but the issues tomasi wrote for this are actually pretty solid

detective comics (1937) #871-881: this is snyder's black mirror arc and it has a healthy mixture of dick!bats kicking ass + some really great humour and dialogue. but also there's james gordon jr so rlly goes to show you can't have it all sigh

nightwing (1996) #35-37: part of NML where dick takes back blackgate for bruce. i've said this before but truly, no one shines more than dick grayson in a room full of people who want to kill him

just realizing a lot of the NML and dick!bats eras have some solid storylines if you're looking for a hyper-competent dick grayson. sadly, a lot of dixon's writing blurs together for me so i don't think i can give you individual issues.

hope this list helps, anon!

[kyleoreillylover]

Chapter 3- Time

Series Summary/Masterlist

word count: 13,537

tag list: @southerngirl41 @venusesworld @jeysbae @reci1996 @tbonesteakwithasideofmashngrav @hope4more @selena-tyler-564 @saintaquarius @whatdoeseverybodywant @raya-hunter01

warnings: wrestling related violence, manipulation, mentions of cheating.

Chapter Summary: It's time for your test. You have a choice to make. Will you finally get your revenge on Becky and take what's rightfully yours, that title? Will you choose your best friends for over 20 years over Roman, or will you finally be selfish and choose yourself for once? Will you finally put away your kind heartedness in favor for retribution? Only time will tell.

a/n: This chapter is my favorite one that I have written, so I hope you guys enjoy! Also there will be a big time jump in the next chapter from 2020 to 2022, so be prepared for that lol. Love you guys and thank you for reading my silly little stories <3

liked by uceyjucey, trinityfatu, beckylynch, jimmyuso and 600,00 others

y/n: bleeding out red and gonna be dripping out in gold 💋 #eliminationchamber #rawwomenschampionship

view all comments:

user: mother looks so freaking good!!!

user: red hair era makes me go feral

samizaynwwe: wishing you the best of luck <3

↳user: omg this is so cute!! I miss their friendship 😩😭

↳user: more like relationship 😭 friends do not look at each other like the way they used to look at one another 😭

↳y/n: you already know that, you picked out the gear for me 

user: the fact that ur still competing when ur bestie has a whole broken arm

↳user: and what do u want her to do? forfeit her title match cause becky got attacked by some rando? pls exit this comment section and never return

user: why all the red suddenly... 👀

↳user: why question it when she looks so good in red 🥰

Beckylynchwwe: may the best women win. 🤝 Love you <3

↳y/n: may the best women win 🤝 Lyt <3

user: you better win!!! 

uceyjucey: red looks good on you 🩸

↳y/n: you already know that, you picked out the gear for me 😒♥️

↳uceyjucey: that just means I got good taste ;)

↳user: what's going on here???

↳user: idk but i’m loving it

"Becky, are you sure you should be competing in this type of match like this?"

Your concerned voice rang out in the locker room as you leaned against the wall, looking at Becky who was wrapping her injured arm with a supportive bandage. Her fiery red hair cascaded down her shoulders as she glanced up, meeting your eyes with a determined look.

"I have no other choice," Becky replied, a steely resolve evident in her tone.  She continued wrapping up her injured arm, securing it carefully. You stared at it with a unreadable expression on your face, your worries etched in the furrow of your brow. Becky noticed your concern and paused, meeting your gaze once more.

"You always have a choice." You retorted sharply, expressing your concern for her well being.

Becky sighed, a mixture of frustration and determination evident in her eyes. "I know Y/N," Becky said softly, her voice tinged with both determination and a hint of vulnerability. "But I can't back down from this. I've worked too hard to get here, and I won't let anything—no injury, no setback, no attacker—stop me."

You nodded, understanding the gravity of her words. "I get it, Becky. I just don't want to see you hurt any further. This match is brutal, and with your arm—"

Becky cut you off gently, her eyes reflecting a mix of gratitude and determination. "I appreciate your concern, I truly do. But I've made up my mind. I'm stepping into that ring, and I'm going to give it my all."

There was a moment of silence as you both exchanged looks filled with unspoken understanding. Despite your worries, you knew Becky's determination was unshakeable, and you knew that no matter what you said, she wouldn't change her decision.

With a a sigh, you relented, realizing that your words might not dissuade her from her chosen path.

"Alright, Becky. I'll be right there, rooting for you," you said, offering your support despite your reservations. "May the best women win." You offered her your hand, giving her a firm shake before offering a supportive hug. Becky reciprocated the hug, her fiery spirit burning even in the face of adversity.

"Maybe the best women win." Becky mumbled into your jacket, tightening her grip on you like you were all she had before letting go. You gave her a smile that was wiped away when you left the room. The cameras that were waiting for you caught it, and Kayla Braxton, who looked eager to see you before the match, rushed forward, holding a microphone.

"Y/N, could we have a moment of your time before the Elimination Chamber match?" Kayla's voice carried a sense of urgency as she positioned herself to get the best shot for the viewers tuning in.

You offered a quick nod, acknowledging Kayla's request before making your way down the corridor, cameras trailing behind. The anticipation for your upcoming match was palpable in the air, the buzzing energy of the arena adding to the already charged atmosphere.

Kayla posed her first question, her voice projecting professionalism despite the evident excitement. "Y/N, you're about to enter the Elimination Chamber match for the Raw Women's Championship. With Becky Lynch injured and the odds against you, how do you plan to approach this match?"

Your expression shifted to one of confusion and determination, a resolve etched on your face. "Odds stacked against me? Kayla, you clearly didn't do your research before coming to me. I am the "odds." The word rolled off your tongue with a confident smirk.

 "Those other competitors are probably hoping for me to be the last one released from the pod so they have a better chance. But guess what? I thrive in this kind of environment. I have fun in this kind of enviornment." Your voice turned cold yet fiery at the same time as  you continued, your eyes focused on the camera.

"Shayna, Natalya, Becky, Nia, and Auska wanna act like they have the upper hand? Newsflash, I beat Shayna and Natalya last week, and they showed me that they are nothing but speed bumps on my road to victory. As for the others, I will happily stomp on them on my way to the top. Let's not forget I am the woman that broke Ronda Rousey so badly she had to go take another vacation cause she couldn't handle taking that title from me, and she's the one that won!" 

You giggled at Kayla, the fervor in your voice matching the intensity of the situation. "So, in case anyone's forgotten, I am the Princess of Pain." You paused for a moment, a sly grin crossing your face. "And I plan to remind everyone why that's the case when I walk out with that Raw Women's Championship tonight."

Kayla gulped at the intense proclamation, her eyes widening as she attempted to maintain her professional composure. Your demeanor was not your normal one; it was a blend of anger, determination, and a hint of ferocity that spoke volumes about your mindset entering the match.

The aura you exuded was one of someone willing to destroy themselves to destroy their opponents,  channeling a potent mix of confidence and aggression that was unlike you to have before you get in the ring.

"And I have to ask, do you feel guilty going into this match knowing you might have to hurt an injured Becky to secure the title?" Kayla's question hung in the air, her gaze expectant as she awaited your response.

Your expression shifted, the fire in your eyes dimming slightly as you considered the weight of Kayla's inquiry. "Kayla, let's get something straight," you began, your tone calmer yet laced with determination. "This isn't about hurting Becky. This is about competition, about proving myself in that ring. Becky and I have mutual respect, and if she's stepping into that Chamber, she knows what's at stake just as much as I do."

You paused for a moment, gathering your thoughts before continuing. "If she wants to go into this match injured, then she needs to be prepared for the consequences. I won't hold back, not because I want to hurt her, but because in that ring, we're all fighting for the same thing—the championship. Becky knows that as much as anyone else in that Chamber. It's every women for herself, and there are no friends once that bell rings. I respect Becky, but I won't let sentimentality cloud my goal—becoming the Raw Women's Champion."

Kayla nodded understandingly, her demeanor maintaining its professional facade despite the charged nature of your response. "And my last question, how do you respond to claims made by a now injured Seth Rollins- who was taken out of his match- that you were the one who attacked Becky?"

You internally smiled at the mention of Seth being injured, but your expression remained serious and composed. "Seth's accusations are baseless and unfounded. I have no reason to attack Becky, especially not before a match of this magnitude. As much as Seth may want to stir controversy, I'm solely focused on this Elimination Chamber match and claiming what I rightfully deserve—the Raw Women's Championship."

Kayla nodded, giving you a bright smile. "Thank you for sharing your thoughts, Y/N. Best of luck in the match tonight."

You nodded in acknowledgment, offering a quick, determined smile before the cameras panned away and the backstage scene transitioned into the electrifying arena. 

It was almost time.

All you felt was red hot anger as you were putting on your gear. Your skin was on fire, your thoughts were racing at a million miles per hour, and the sensation of frustration coursed through your veins like a wildfire.

 All you could think of was finally getting your hands on Becky and hurting her like she hurt you. Slamming her into the steel. Throwing her into the glass pod and reveling in her agony. Sticking that knife into her back like she had done to you and making her feel what you felt. All of those thoughts made your skin feel even hotter, and you barely registered the voice calling out for you from outside the bathroom.

"Y/N, pretty girl, you finished yet? Match starts in 10 and I wanna see you in your pretty gear." Knocking accompanied Jey's  expectant yet concerned tone, and you jumped at the sudden interruption, momentarily pulling you out of the dark thoughts swirling in your mind. Your breathing was ragged, your hands slightly trembling as you tried to compose yourself. 

"Yeah, gimme a sec." You   replied, your voice low and cold, trying to mask the turmoil brewing within. You took a deep breath, attempting to steady your emotions, knowing you couldn't afford to let this rage control you before the match.

Quickly finishing up, you emerged from the bathroom, wearing your wrestling gear—a crimson ensemble that matched the intensity of your emotions, and opened the locker room door.

Jey was waiting, and any words he was gonna say were quickly forgotten as he took in your beauty. Your beautiful crimson gear hugging your body perfectly, red makeup accentuating your fierce expression, your sun-kissed brown skin on display making Jey's mouth water. It took everything in him to not kiss you right then and there.

"Damn." Jey whispered out, eyes darkening at the sight of you and trying to not look down at your gear and instead maintain eye contact. "You look incredible, Y/N."

You forced a small smile, though your eyes still held a hint of the lingering anger. "Thanks, Jey." You appreciated his compliment, but your mind was preoccupied with the upcoming match and the intense emotions swirling within you. 

"You don't look too bad yourself." Not too bad was an understandment, Jey looked like a greek god; sporting his gold chain and his abs on full display since he was shirtless underneath his black jacket that showed off his muscles. The tension between the two of you was undeniable, the charged atmosphere only adding to the intensity of the moment. 

Jey stepped closer to you and gently put his hand on your shoulder, his touch warm and reassuring.  "Hey, you're gonna do great out there. I know you're feeling a lot right now, but don't let it consume you. Stay focused, okay? You're the Princess of Pain for a reason." 

His hand left your shoulder and cupped your cheek, stroking your cheek gently with his thumb.

Your breath hitched slightly at the contact, the warmth of his hand making you get out of your head, if only for a little while. You looked up into his honey-brown eyes that seemed to lighten up just for you  before they grew serious again, mirroring the emotions swirling within you. 

"What's wrong?' Jey softly asked, his concern palpable in his gaze.

You shook your head, trying to brush off his concerns, but his thumb remained on your cheek, gentle yet insistent. "It's nothing, just pre-match nerves. I'll be fine once I'm out there." 

Despite your attempt to downplay your emotions, Jey knew you better than to take your words at face value. He observed you for a moment, and it felt like he was staring into your soul, waiting for you to open up and share what was truly bothering you.

Finally, unable to resist the comfort Jey offered, you sighed, feeling the weight of the emotions crashing over you. "It's Becky," you admitted in a hushed tone, your voice barely above a whisper. "I can't shake off this anger. It's consuming me, and I know Roman told me to let it fester until the right moment, but I feel like I'm losing control."

Jey's face softened at your admission, and he gently brushed his thumb over your cheek again, offering you a comforting gesture. "I get it. But think about it. Finally getting your revenge, taking her down and showing her she can't mess with you again, that's your big moment. And you're gonna have that moment." 

Despite his words, you felt the anger lick at your insides like a relentless flame, almost drowning out Jey's comforting words. You blinked, trying to refocus on his face, to ground yourself in his calming presence.

"I want that moment, Jey. I want to make her pay for what she did to me." The intensity in your voice matched the ferocity in your eyes. "But you don't understand. Once I get out there,  I don't know if I can control it. I don't know if I can stop myself from going too far." 

That was the understandment of the year. You've had this problem for years, you weren't called the Princess of Pain without a reason. It was why you tried for so many years to be the good guy, to fight against the darkness inside you. Sami and Kevin were usually the ones who helped you keep it at bay, but they weren't here this time. They wouldn't be able to pull you back if things got too out of hand. 

You've never let your anger out like this before except for one time in the NXT when Kevin cost you your NXT Women's Championship after you took Sami's side in their feud. 

That night haunted you- and the moments that followed it haunted you as well. You attacked Kevin in a fit of rage backstage, and injured him, fighting him all the way to the parking lot and breaking his arm in the process.

Sami wasn't in the arena to calm you down, and when the security guards finally sepeated you from Kevin,  your eyes red with anger and tears, you found a empty spot to sit at to get away from everyone.

You felt like crying until you had no tears left,  feeling the guilt and shame consume you. But before you could, a tap on your shoulder made you look up, your eyebrows furrowing in confusion. 

It was Bray Wyatt, his serene yet enigmatic presence somehow calming the storm raging within you. He sat beside you, not saying anything at first, just offering his silent support. The two of you didn't speak until you eventually found the words amiss the storm of emotions you were experiencing.

"What do you want?" You snapped at Bray, the anger still boiling under your skin, not understanding why he was approaching you at such a vulnerable moment.

Bray didn't flinch at your outburst, his calm demeanor unwavering. "I don't want anything from you, Y/N. I'm here because I understand your pain. I see the turmoil within you, and I'm here to offer guidance if you're willing to accept it."

You scoffed, feeling a mixture of frustration and confusion. "Guidance? What do you know about my pain? About what I'm feeling right now?"

Bray leaned in closer, his piercing gaze fixed on you. "I know more than you think. I've danced with darkness, embraced it, and found my way back. I see the same struggle in you. The anger, the hurt, it's consuming you, because you are scared of it. But you have a choice. You can either be scared of it and push it away, but that will only worsen it, or you can embrace it, acknowledge it, and learn that it is a part of you. The choice is yours, Y/N."

His words resonated within you, cutting through the chaos in your mind with a clarity you hadn't felt in a long time. You looked at Bray, a mix of emotions still swirling within you, but his calm demeanor somehow grounding you in the moment.

"What do I do?" you asked, your voice softer, a hint of vulnerability breaking through the facade you had built.

Bray smiled gently, his eyes holding a depth of understanding. "You will see." With that, Bray stood up and left, leaving you with a sense of intrigue and contemplation. The memory of that encounter with Bray Wyatt was etched in your mind, his enigmatic guidance lingering as you grappled with controlling the anger brewing within you.

Back in the present moment with Jey, you felt a pang of that same uncertainty and inner turmoil, knowing that this time, you might not have someone like Bray Wyatt, Sami or Kevin to guide you through the tumultuous waves of anger and darkness that threatened to consume you.

Jey's voice pulled you out of the memories, his concern evident in his expression. "Hey, listen to me." He gently cupped your face with both hands, his touch grounding you in the present.  "I can stop you if things get too out of hand. You know that, right? I won't let you hurt yourself."

You blinked, the sincerity in Jey's eyes cutting through the tempest within you.

"Jey, I appreciate that. I really do," you began, your voice wavering slightly as you tried to express your gratitude, "but this isn't something you can just step in and stop. Not this time. I don't even know if I can control it myself."

You felt a rush of anger and gripped Jey's wrist tightly, the intensity of your emotions almost palpable. "I'm just scared that no one will be able to pull me back from the edge this time."

Jey's gaze softened, his hands gently squeezing your shoulders in a reassuring manner. He knew you had a side to you that he never really saw before until Becky confessed about her and Seth, a side that was darker, more intense, and harbored deep-seated emotions.

But he didn't care about the darkness within you. He cared about the beautiful women that was capable of so much more, the woman who was passionate, driven, and compassionate.

"I won't let you go over the edge." Jey shook his head and grabbed your hand firmly. "You focus on winning, and when you come back, I'll be waiting for you no matter what."

You shook your head, pulling your hand out of his grasp. Jey didn't understand. You could barely control it, how could he pull you from the edge if you were teetering on it? How could he tell you that you'd come back unscathed when the rage within threatened to consume you entirely? 

"You can't promise that." You harshly whispered , your voice carrying a mix of fear and frustration. "You don't understand, Jey. This isn't something you can just control or stop. I don't even know if I can."

Jey grabbed your hand back, his eyes locked with yours in a silent exchange of emotions. "I understand that I can help you with this."

"Don't waste your time trying when you can't." You tightened your grip on Jey's hand, your voice desperate yet resigned. "You can't save me from myself, Jey. No one can."

"I can."

"No one can Jey!" You broke free of his grasp, the emotions swirling within you too overwhelming to contain. Tears welled up in your eyes, a mixture of frustration, anger, and fear threatening to spill over. You turned away from Jey, unable to bear the weight of his comforting gaze. "And I won't risk let you get hurt because of me."

"You can't take that choice away from me. I want take the risk." Jey's words made you turn back to him with a glare that conveyed a mix of emotions. You wanted to push him away, to protect him from yourself yet a part of you longed for his comforting presence, his unwavering support.

"Well too bad, cause I'm not letting you take it." You moved to grab your jacket, but Jey stepped in front of you, blocking your path and capturing your attention with a resolute gaze.

"I'm not gon' let you push me away cause I care about you." Jey stated firmly, his voice unwavering as he held your gaze. "I'll fight for you, even if it's against yourself."

"I can't let you do that." You tried to push past him, but Jey just stood his ground, refusing to let you leave.

"You can't stop me from caring about you, Y/N."

"Yes, I can."

"No, you can't."

"Yes, I can!" You raised your voice, frustration and desperation seeping through every word. "I'm not worth it, Jey! I'm not worth risking yourself for!"

Jey remained steadfast, his gaze unwavering as he reached out to gently cup your face, making you freeze in your tracks. His touch was warm and comforting, his eyes locking onto yours with a sense of determination that matched your own.

"You are worth it, Y/N," he said softly, his voice laced with conviction. "You're worth every bit of effort, every bit of care. I won't let you believe otherwise." Tears welled up in your eyes, a mix of emotions churning within you. You wanted to push him away, but his touch, his proximity, just him in general was making you feel things you hadn't allowed yourself to feel in a long time. 

"I can't hurt you..." You mumbled softly, Jey's expression softened even more, his thumb gently brushing away a tear that escaped from your eye.

"I can handle the pain, pretty girl, trust me." Something about his words made you internally heat up, feeling a mix of emotions at his unwavering support and care. 

Jey felt the shift in your demeanor, felt the tension that threatened to explode between the two of you, and when he looked down at your perfectly glossed lips, he couldn't take it anymore.

The only warning you got was him pulling you into his arms before his lips pressed against yours in a heated kiss. When he felt your lips not moving, his brain started working again and panic began to fill his body.

Holy shit, he was kissing you.

Jey quickly pulled away, his eyes wide with shock at what he had just done. He looked at you and expected to see a disguted expression, but instead, he was met with a look of surprise mixed with something else, something he couldn't quite decipher.

"I-I'm sorry, I shouldn't have done that," Jey stammered, taking a step back and running a hand through his hair, his gaze fixed anywhere but on you. "I understand if you wanna slap me or not wanna be friends anymore-" Jey was cut off by your sudden movement as you grabbed his face and pulled him into another kiss, this time more fervent and filled with an intensity that surprised both of you.

Your lips moved against his in a desperate embrace, your hands sliding around his neck as you deepened the kiss, feeling a mix of emotions surging through you.

Jey's initial shock melted away, replaced by a raw passion as he responded to your kiss with equal fervor, his hands finding their way to your waist, pulling you closer.

The intensity of the moment, the emotions swirling within you, they all converged in that fiery kiss, a collision of desire, desperation, and unspoken words. His lips were rough yet soft against yours, the taste of him sending a wave of warmth through your body.

For a moment, it felt like everything else faded away—the anger, the turmoil, the impending match—leaving only the two of you in that charged, passionate moment.

Breaking the kiss, you both panted slightly, the air around you thick with unspoken emotions. Jey's eyes met yours, a mix of surprise and longing reflected in his gaze, mirroring the emotions you felt within yourself. You both stood there, caught in a moment of unspoken connection, the tension between you palpable yet strangely comforting.

"I... I don't know what came over me," Jey finally managed to say, his voice filled with a mix of confusion and desire, his eyes searching yours for some semblance of understanding.

You shook your head slightly, trying to process the intensity of what just happened, the flood of emotions still coursing through you. "I don't either," you admitted softly, your heart racing with a combination of excitement and uncertainty.

A knock on the door startled you both, making you snap out of the moment. Jey quickly composed himself, adjusting his jacket as he moved away from you, trying to regain his composure. You took a deep breath, attempting to steady your racing heartbeat and clear your mind.

"Y/N, it's time. We're about to start," a voice called from outside the door, interrupting the charged atmosphere that lingered between you. 

"Give me a minute." You called out in response, your voice slightly shaky as you tried to regain your focus.

You turned to Jey, who looked like he was still reeling from the unexpected turn of events, and walked over to him, placing your hand on his arm, gingerly making your way to his chest before grabbing his chain, gently tugging on it to bring him down to your level. Both your skins felt like they were still ablaze with the remnants of the intense moment you shared, and you locked eyes with him, a mix of emotions reflecting in your gaze.

"We'll talk about this later, so don't worry about it." You ran your hand along Jey's jawline, your touch light yet conveying a sense of reassurance. "But I promise you we're good. Wish me luck?"

Jey's eyes softened at your words, and he wished that he could say more, that he could express the myriad of emotions swirling within him.

Instead, he gave you a nod, a faint smile tugging at the corners of his lips.

"Good luck, pretty girl. Kill it out there." he replied softly, his voice filled with a mixture of support and love. You gave him a blinding smile, and he watched as you let go of his chain, your hand sliding away from his jawline, and made your way towards the door, steeling yourself for the intense match ahead.

He just hoped that you'd come back to him unscathed.

You glared through your pod, your gaze fixated on Becky as she made her entrance into the Elimination Chamber match. The sight of her intensified the emotions within you, the anger and resentment threatening to consume you once again.

But this time yo would let it consume you, let it overwhelm your senses and take control of your actions. The anger boiled inside you like a tempest, urging you to unleash it upon her, to make her feel the pain and anguish you had harbored since the betrayal.

Natalya and Becky were to start the match, and as the countdown began for the first pod to open, you focused on preparing yourself mentally for the chaos that was about to unfold.

After 30 minutes- it was like a war zone. Natalya was the first to be eliminated by a roll-up by Shayna, who turned on her. One of the pods were broken when Tamina speared Nia through it, who eliminated Nia. Becky was nursing her arm after Shayna targeted it and you eliminated her before she could tap Becky out with your finisher.

And you and Auska were tangled in the corner, exchanging fierce strikes and attempts to gain the upper hand. You slammed her into the steel, blood pouring out of your mouth from where you'd been hit by her kicks.

The match had taken a toll on everyone, leaving bruises, blood, and fatigue as the competitors fought tooth and nail for the coveted Raw Women's Championship.

As you grappled with Asuka, you could barely think, you were barely yourself. You let the darker side of you take over, your vision tunneling to focus solely on inflicting pain and securing victory at any cost. The crowd roared, the steel structure reverberated with the impact of bodies colliding, but it was all a distant symphony to you, drowned out by the internal fury consuming your thoughts.

"You are not ready for Auska!" Asuka screamed at you as she slammed your head into the steel over and over again. But all that did was make you smile with every hit, making Auska angrier and try to fight you even harder.

The pain seared through your body, but you welcomed it, reveling in the agony as it fueled the fire within you. You grunted with each impact, the taste of blood on your lips as sweet as candy.

With a sudden burst of strength, you managed to reverse Auska's assault, throwing her into the steel structure with a resounding crash. You saw her wince in pain, but you didn't relent. Your movements were almost mechanical, your mind was clouded, your vision hazy with the red mist of aggression and determination.

You grabbed her head and slammed it against the steel again, and again, and again, each impact echoing through the chamber. The crowd's chants and screams merged into a cacophony, but your focus remained singular—inflict pain, show no mercy, and secure victory at any cost.

Blood trickled down your face from the earlier blows, mixing with the crimson of your attire, making you look like the darkness that consumed you. The intense desire to win, the need to prove your dominance, all these emotions drove you forward, blurring the lines between competition and the dark turmoil within.

From the corner of your eye, you saw Tamina barreling down at you, and you managed to sidestep her attack just in time, causing her to crash into Auska with a fierce impact. You laughed darkly, the sound almost maniacal as you watched both of them reel in pain, before you grabbed Auska and hauled her into the ring for the pin. 

"Auska has been eliminated!" The announcer's voice boomed through the arena as your victory was declared. But there was no elation in your expression, no triumphant celebration. Instead, a cold, almost detached look adorned your face as you stood over Auska, panting heavily, your gaze fixated on the fallen competitor.

Your gaze went to Becky, who was still nursing her arm, watching the chaos unfold in the ring. The sight of her triggered a surge of raw emotions within you, the memories of her betrayal and your desire for retribution resurfacing with an overwhelming intensity. You were consumed by an uncontrollable rage, the darkness within you clawing its way to the surface as you eyed Becky with an unspoken promise of vengeance.

Your gaze went from Becky, to Tamina, then Becky again. You smiled and moved closer to Becky, who was already on her feet, albeit visibly weakened from the match. "The two of us, get Tamina. Then it'll just be us." 

Becky nodded, understanding the unspoken plan as the two of you cautiously approached Tamina, who was trying to recover from the previous onslaught. As a team, you and Becky coordinated your attacks, trying to neutralize Tamina's advantage.

You grabbed her from behind, while Becky kicked her in the midsection, trying to weaken her. But Tamina was stronger, and she powered out of your grip, sending you to the mat with a forceful shove. Becky, in her weakened state, tried to fight back, but Tamina's power was overwhelming.

You staggered to your feet, the pain and exhaustion beginning to take its toll, but the fire within you burned fiercely. You knew you had to take down Tamina to secure a chance at the championship, and you couldn't let anything—especially the betrayal that fueled your rage—distract you from that goal.

As Tamina advanced towards Becky, you launched yourself at her, driving your shoulder into her midsection and knocking her down. You and Becky seized the opportunity, both delivering a series of coordinated strikes, attempting to weaken Tamina further. Tamina realized that this could mark the end for her and swiftly ran away from the both of you, climbing the cage and trying to escape.

You and Becky quickly went after her, scaling the cage and trying to get her. Tamina climbed onto the top of the pod to try and get away , but you and Becky both grabbed Tamina's legs to prevent her escape. She struggled, thrashing wildly in an attempt to break free from your grip, but both you and Becky held on, determined to keep her from fleeing. 

With a combined effort, you and Becky managed to pull Tamina back down kick her, making her slump in the corner of the pod.

"How do you like that, Tamina!" You yelled at her , your voice filled with a mix of exhilaration and a hint of vindication.

You turned away from her and realized Becky was dangling off the edge of the pod, struggling to maintain her balance. In that split second, the memories hit you— when she had told you she and Seth were seeing each other behind your back — and you knew the choice you had to make. 

"Give me your hand, Becks." You extended your hand to Becky, offering her support to pull her back up onto the pod. 

Becky sighed a breath of relief, her grip on the edge faltering slightly. "I... I can't reach, Y/N!" Her voice was strained, panic evident in her eyes as she struggled to maintain her precarious position.

"I got you!" You moved towards her and grabbed her hand, and for a moment it felt like everything between the two of you was perfect; that nothing had changed, that she still held your trust.

And then you kicked her away from the edge of the pod.

"Oh my god Corey, Y/N just kicked Becky off the pod!" Cole's shocked voice was drowned out by the cheers and gasps from the crowd as the camera panned onto the sadistic smirk on your face. 

You licked your lips as the sound of Becky's body hitting the mat echoed through the arena, a sickening thud that sent a chill down your spine.

The chaos around you, the loud exclamations from the commentators, the roar of the audience—it all seemed distant as your gaze remained fixated on Becky's prone form.

This is what you wanted. This is what she deserved. This is what you needed.

You turned to Tamina, who was knocked out next to you, and grabbed her from the corner of the pod, yanking her by the head and standing her up.

You grabbed her by the throat and looked down at how high you guys were up, and turned back to her with a chilling smile and choke slamming her all the way down to the ring, dropping the two of you from the top of the pod, crashing violently onto the mat below.

The pain from falling felt like a rush of adrenaline, a mix of exhilaration and agony that surged through your body. You laughed at Tamina's howl of pain and rolled her over to pin her.

"Tamina has been eliminated!"

The announcer's voice echoed through the arena, but all you could focus on was Becky's fallen form a few feet away from you. The sight of her lying motionless on the floor made you smile with a twisted sense of satisfaction.

The rush of power, the vindication, the culmination of all the betrayal and hurt fueled your actions. The cheers and gasps from the crowd became distant echoes in your ears, drowned out by the chaotic symphony of your own emotions.

You slowly stood up, never breaking eye contact with Becky's motionless figure. It was like a hunter relishing the sight of their prey, except in this instance, the prey was someone who had betrayed your trust, someone whose actions had fueled an uncontrollable rage within you.

You stalked toward Becky, every step deliberate, every movement calculated. The audience's reaction was a mix of shock, disbelief, and some even cheering at the audacity of your actions. But you were oblivious to it all, fixated solely on the fallen figure before you.

Standing over Becky's motionless body, a myriad of emotions churned within you—anger, hurt, and a dark satisfaction. The memories of betrayal flooded your mind, intensifying the storm of emotions raging inside you.

"You thought I forgot what you did to me, Becky?" Your voice was low, filled with a venomous intensity as you grabbed her head, your fingers curling around her hair. The crowd's hushed murmurs created a haunting backdrop to the tense moment, but your focus remained solely on Becky, on the feelings that surged within you.

"You thought you could just betray me and walk away unscathed?" The words dripped with malice as you pulled Becky up to her knees, your grip unyielding. Her eyes fluttered open, registering the danger in your demeanor as fear etched across her face.

"Y/N, please... I'm sorry. I didn't mean... I never wanted..." Becky's voice trembled, the desperation evident in her plea.

"You never wanted? You never wanted what, Becky?" Your voice rose, punctuated with bitterness and anger. "You never wanted to hurt me? You never wanted to lie to me?"

The memories flooded back, vivid and painful. Both good and bad.

When she hugged you the moment you won your first main roster title. When you snuck from everyone on a international tour in Italy from your time on the Indies and had gotten lost. When you both got signed to the WWE and threw a party and gotten so drunk Sami and Kevin had to carry you both back to your hotel rooms.

These memories flooded back in an instant, as if they were tugging at the last strings of sanity within you. But then you flickered back to the moment when that trust was shattered, when deceit became the foundation of your relationship with Becky.

"I trusted you! I trusted you more than anyone else!" Your voice cracked with emotion, the hurt resurfacing with a vengeance. "And you destroyed it all!"

Becky's attempts to plead or apologize fell on deaf ears. The betrayal had festered deep within, feeding the darkness that had consumed you. Your grip tightened on her hair, a vengeful glare fixed on her.

"But now... now you'll pay for what you did." With a sudden burst of rage, you slammed Becky's head onto the cold, unforgiving steel floor, a sickening thud echoing through the chamber.

The crowd's gasps and cries blended into a cacophony as you repeated the action, each strike fueled by the pain of betrayal, each impact a testament to the seething anger within you. The once vibrant and fearless Becky Lynch was now at your mercy, helpless against the onslaught.

"You thought I forgot everything you did to me?!" You screamed at her as you pushed her head into the steel cage, the clang of metal echoing the chaos within your own mind.

Becky's struggles weakened, her body becoming limp under the relentless assault. The rush of power surged through you with each strike, a grim satisfaction stemming from the torment inflicted upon the person who had shattered your trust.

"You don't get to apologize, Becky! You don't get to plead for forgiveness!" The words tore out of you, laced with an uncontainable rage that had simmered beneath the surface for far too long. Each blow against the steel was a manifestation of the pain she had caused, an outlet for the betrayal that had gnawed at your soul.

You made her stand up, her knees buckling under the strain, her eyes pleading for mercy. But there was no mercy left in you, only the searing desire for retribution. With a cruel determination, you hoisted Becky up, making her lean against the unforgiving steel structure of the chamber.

"This is for everything you didi to me!" The words dripped with a cold ferocity as you speared her into the pod, the glass shattering upon impact. Becky's body crumpled amidst the debris, and you breathed out angrily at the sight.

The rush of adrenaline coursed through your veins, a mixture of vindication and a twisted sense of satisfaction washing over you as you stood there, heaving with exertion and emotion.

But you didn't stop there. You slowly stood up and grabbed her hair, pulling her up once again. Despite the exhaustion creeping into your bones, the rage and hurt refused to ebb away. You wanted her to feel every ounce of pain you had endured.

"You made me suffer, Becky. Now it's your turn." Your voice was a venomous whisper as you dragged her towards the chamber's unforgiving steel walls. The walls were slightly open from where Nia and Tamina had crashed into earlier, creating jagged edges that now served as a menacing backdrop to your vendetta.

You threw Becky down into the middle of the steel, and with a primal roar, slammed the steel wall into her injured arm. 

Becky's anguished scream pierced the air. Her body convulsed with pain, her face contorted in agony as she writhed on the unforgiving steel surface.  You slammed the door into her injured arm again and again, the metallic clang merging with her cries of agony. Each strike was fueled by the betrayal you felt, the pent-up rage finding release in the physical torment you were inflicting.

"You wanna have Seth? Go right ahead, I'll have something better- your title." You  spat out the words, each syllable filled with the bitterness of betrayal as you continued the onslaught. "The two of you can destroyed each other, for all I care!"

The chamber's atmosphere had turned eerily silent, save for Becky's agonized screams and the brutal sound of the steel door colliding with her arm. You didnt stop until Becky lay there, barely conscious, the torment etched into her features. Her arm hung at an unnatural angle, broken and battered from the relentless assault.

You leaned down and took the cast off of her injured arm, tossing it aside with disdain, before leaning down and retrieving the metal pole you had broken her arm with yesterday and smiled at the sight of it. Holding it aloft, a crazed grin etched on your face, you relished in the feeling of power coursing through your veins.

"You really thought I forgave you, Becky?  You thought I'd forget what you did? You thought wrong." Your voice was a sinister growl, dripping with malice as you towered over the battered and broken figure of Becky.

She lay there, barely able to move, her gaze filled with pain and shock as she looked up at you. She hoped to see mercy in your eyes, but all she found was a cold, unyielding resolve.

"You are worth nothing. The only thing worthy you have is that Raw Women's Championship, and I'm taking it." You lifted the metal pole, ready to strike again, your eyes filled with a ruthless determination. "And I'll take it by any means necessary."

Becky's howl of pain echoed through the chamber as you crashed the pole into her injured arm once more, a vicious determination driving each strike. The chamber seemed to amplify her anguished cries, the sound bouncing off the steel walls in a haunting symphony. You didn't relent, your movements fueled by an unquenchable thirst for revenge, the need to make her suffer as you had suffered.

You finally stopped when Becky's body convulsed in agony, her voice hoarse from screaming. The once defiant and confident champion now lay broken and defenseless beneath your relentless assault. You threw the metal pole to the side, staring down at her with a mix of satisfaction and a lingering bitterness.

This was it. This was your moment. This was your time.

You hauled Becky up by her hair, her body limp and broken, and dragged her to the ring, pulling her lifeless form through the ropes. The audience watched in shocked silence as you tossed her into the ring, her body barely responsive to the impact against the mat.

With a cold determination, you climbed into the ring, standing over Becky's battered form. The taste of vengeance was bitter on your tongue, but it was the only thing that gave you a semblance of satisfaction amidst the turmoil within. The desire for retribution had driven you to this point, and there was no turning back.

"You did this to yourself." You stated coldly, gently cradling Becky's head in your hands, forcing her to look up at you. Her eyes, once full of fire and confidence, were now clouded with pain and fear. But you felt no remorse, no empathy for the woman lying broken at your feet.

"This is what happens when you betray someone who trusted you, Becky," you continued, your voice laced with a chilling calmness. "You thought you could walk over me, but now, you lie here broken, defeated."

You pushed Becky's head back down to the mat with a disdainful shove, watching her writhe in pain. The taste of victory was bittersweet, the turmoil within you still raging despite the apparent domination you displayed.

"You said I was a sweet girl, Becky," you sneered, your voice tinged with contempt. "But you've awoken the darkness in me. And now, you'll pay the price."

You pulled her into a guittoine submission-courtesy of Roman- and tightened the hold with a sadistic grin, relishing in the agony evident on Becky's face and grabbing her injured arm and twisting it in a way that elicited a scream of agony from her.

"You made me this way, Becky!" Your voice echoed through the chamber, filled with a raw mixture of anger and vindication. "You made me unleash this darkness!"

You maintained the hold, ignoring the desperation in Becky's eyes, the pleas for mercy that fell on deaf ears. Every second felt like an eternity, and despite Becky's best efforts to resist, the pain and exhaustion took their toll. Her struggles weakened, her body succumbing to the relentless submission hold, and she tapped out in excruciating pain.

The bell rang, signaling the end of the match and your victory. The referee rushed in to separate you from Becky, who lay there, broken and defeated, the once-champion now a mere shadow of her former self.

But you didn't let go. You pushed at the security that tried to separate you, tightening even more and refusing to release the hold. The crowd's gasps turned into a chorus of boos as the officials struggled to pry you off, but your grip remained unyielding, a testament to the rage and vindictiveness that had consumed you.

"Let go, Y/N! You've won! It's over!" The referee's voice was a desperate plea, but you were deaf to reason. The need for retribution blinded you, overshadowing any semblance of rationality

"You see what you did?" You screamed at Becky, your voice filled with a chilling mix of triumph and fury.

"This is your fault! You made me do this!" The darkness was beginning to take over completely, clouding your thoughts and senses. The chaos around you seemed distant as you held on to the submission, refusing to release Becky even as she lay there, gasping for air, her face contorted in agony.

"Pretty girl, it's finished, you did it! Let her go!"

That was the only warning you got before Jey's arms wrapped around your waist and forcefully pulled you off of Becky, breaking the hold. You let Jey drag you away, the remnants of your dark rage still coursing through your veins. This was the backup plan- if you were too deep in your own darkness, Jey would be there to pull you back. You relaxed into his embrace, the remnants of your rage simmering beneath the surface but still boiling.

"You won. You did it, you won!" Jey exclaimed into your ear, attemtping to bring you back to reality. You managed a smile, a twisted satisfaction lingering on your lips.

"Gimme her fucking title!" You heard Jimmy arguing with the ref, and looked up to see him holding the Raw Women's Championship, a smile on his face as he moved towards you.

"You fucking won!" Jimmy cheered, hugging you tightly, lifting you off the ground in celebration. Elation and adrenaline is all you felt as you hugged him back tightly before he set you down, handing you your Raw Women's Championship.

The gold felt cold against your skin, a tangible symbol of the victory you had fought so ruthlessly for. The cheers from the audience were a distant hum as you clutched the title, a dark satisfaction washing over you.

"I won." You whispered softly, but Jey heard you. He smiled softly at you- you finally did it, finally captured the championship you sought so relentlessly.

"You did, and you deserve it." He opened his arms for you, and you didn't think twice before falling into the embrace, the chaotic storm within you weirdly subsiding slightly when you fell into his arms. You didn't have time to dwell on it before he pulled away and gently cupped your face in his hands. "You deserve it. Now show everyone why you the champ."

You looked down at the Raw Women's Championship in your hands, the gold reflecting the dim lights of the chamber, and held it high above your head, the sinister satisfaction still lingering in your eyes.

You finally had what you wanted, the Raw Women's Championship, and the whole women's locker room fearing your name. You didn't care if they respected you, because fear was the true power.

Jimmy and Jey stood on either side of you, holding up their hands in a one sign, the three of you standing tall, an embodiment of ruthless dominance, and leaving more questions than answers in the minds of the WWE Universe.

Why were you with the Bloodline? Why did you unleash such brutality on Becky Lynch? Why were Jimmy and Jey by your side in this calculated rampage?

They'd get their answers soon.

"You did good. I'm proud of you." Roman smiled at you with a hint of approval  and something else you couldn't pick up on as you came to the back, bringing you into a dark embrace. "You showed them what it means to be a true champion," he continued, his voice low and resonant. "No one will underestimate you again."

You nodded at Roman when he pulled away from you, the darkness in his eyes mirroring the intensity you felt within yourself. "I appreciate it, Roman. It's just the beginning. There's a lot more they haven't seen yet." Your voice held a quiet determination, the fire within you still burning bright. Roman nodded in understanding, a sense of mutual understanding passing between the two of you.

Roman turned to Jimmy and Jey, who were standing next to you with a mix of satisfaction, concern, and pride. "You guys need to deliver too. Jey, get ready for your match. Jimmy, go back to the locker room, I'll take Y/N to the trainers and we'll be back."

Jey furrowed his brows at Roman's command, a slight tension in the air. "You sure you're good, Y/N?" he asked, his concern genuine.

You gave a nod, the dark satisfaction still lingering in your eyes. "I'm fine, Jey. Just go out there and do what you do best. We'll handle the aftermath later."

Jey was confused at Roman's decision. Roman never offered to take someone to the trainers unless there was a significant reason. He didn't think it was smart to have your anger clash with Roman's but he trusted Roman's judgment and giving you one last hug, headed towards the entrance ramp for his match.

Roman  led you towards the trainers' area, his steps deliberate and his expression unreadable. Anyone who tried to cross your path would be stopped by Roman's glare that cut through the air like a knife. As you walked side by side with Roman, you couldn't help but feel a sense of validation. You had proven your worth in the most brutal way possible, and now you were under the protection of the Tribal Chief himself.

The trainers' room was a mix of antiseptic smells and the low hum of conversations. The medical staff looked up as Roman entered, their eyes widening as they took in the sight of you, still in your ring gear, holding the Raw Women's Championship. Roman's presence demanded respect, and they quickly shuffled to clear a space for you.

Roman gestured for you to take a seat on one of the medical benches. "Sit down. Let them check you out," he commanded, his voice carrying a stern authority.

The trainers approached cautiously, assessing the visible signs of the intense match you had just endured. They checked for any potential injuries, bruises, or signs of a concussion, but you remained stoic and unresponsive to their efforts. Roman observed with a watchful eye, ensuring that everything was done to his satisfaction.

As the medical staff continued their examination, Roman's gaze never wavered from you. There was a complex mix of emotions in his eyes—pride, perhaps a hint of admiration, and something else that remained elusive. He didn't say much, but his silent presence spoke volumes.

"Don't do that." He piped up when you tried to calm your anger down slightly, his voice cutting through the silence in the room.

"What?" you asked, genuinely confused.

"Don't try to suppress it. Embrace it," Roman said, his tone unwavering. "You showed them what you're capable of tonight. Let that darkness fuel your dominance. The more they fear you, the more control you have. I need that tonight."

You nodded at Roman's cold wisdom, but furrowed your brows at his last sentence. "What do you mean, 'I need that tonight'?"

Roman's expression remained enigmatic, a cryptic smile playing on his lips. "You trust me right? Trust our friendship?"

You nodded slowly, uncertain about where this conversation was heading but choosing to trust Roman's judgment. "Of course, Roman. You know I do."

"And I've never betrayed you, right?" 

You stared into Roman's eyes, searching for any hidden motives. "No, Roman. You've always had my back."

"Good." Roman's smile deepened, revealing a rare sense of camaraderie. "Tonight, you've proven yourself. Now, I need you to trust me a little more. I have a plan, and I need you to play a crucial part in it. Can I count on you?"

You studied Roman's face, his eyes holding a mysterious glint. "Of course, Roman. I trust you," you replied, determination in your voice. "Whatever you need, I'm in."

Roman's smile widened. "Against my better judgement, and my ego, I know that Kevin will be the one to win that number one contender's match against Jey tonight. I need him to be the one challenging for my Universal Championship. But I also need him softened up, vulnerable. That's where you come in."

Roman's plan started to unfold, and you listened intently to his instructions. As he laid out the details, you realized the significance of your role in the larger scheme. The darkness within you, the dominance you had displayed in the Elimination Chamber, was now a strategic asset for Roman's plan.

"I need you to make a statement, Y/N. Show everyone in that match, and especially Kevin Owens, that you're not just a champion—they should fear you," Roman explained, his voice a low rumble that resonated with authority.

"I know you and Kevin have a history, and you and Sami as well. But when the cards are on the table, Kevin will always choose to backstab you. Will always choose to betray you. How many years have you given him chances? How many times has he let you down?"

Roman's words resonated, stirring up the memories of past betrayals and the pain that accompanied them. 

"When was the last time you gave him a chance and he didn't disappoint?" Roman's question hung in the air, the weight of the truth behind it sinking in. "This is your opportunity, Y/N. Take it. Show everyone that you're not to be taken lightly, and in doing so, finally get the revenge for the years of betrayals. And as for Sami-"

Roman sensed your smoldering anger and paused for a moment, choosing his words carefully.

"Sami Zayn is an annoyance, a distraction. He might be your friend, so I am giving you the leniency to deal with him swiftly, efficiently. But what matters is  making it clear that anyone who stands in your way will face the consequences."

If you were in any other mental state, and didn't feel the smoldering anger  within you, you would have hesitated and questioned Roman's motives, told him you wouldn't hurt your best friends.

But in this current state, you couldn't think clearly. The darkness within you, fueled by the betrayal and the desire for retribution, clouded your judgment, and Roman's words only resonated and fueled that anger.

And that was Roman's plan all along.

Make you so angry and unleashing that dark side so that you couldn't see your morals in jeapordy, the bigger picture, couldn't question the morality of the actions he was asking you to take. In that moment, you were a pawn in his game, a tool to achieve his objectives.

"I know it's a lot to take in, but trust me, Y/N. This is the path we need to walk to secure our dominance," Roman concluded, his eyes locking onto yours with an intensity that brooked no argument. "As long as you're with me, as long as you embrace that darkness within you, there's nothing we can't achieve."

You nodded, a cold determination settling within you. The darkness, once a mere undercurrent, now surged to the forefront, shaping your thoughts and actions. "I'm with you, Roman. Whatever it takes to secure our dominance."

Roman clasped your shoulder, a silent acknowledgment passing between the two of you. "Get ready, Y/N. Go to Jimmy. It's time to make a statement."

You watched on the screen as the Men's Elimination Chamber match was taking place, bodies being violently thrown against the steel, the carnage unfolding inside the chamber. The raw aggression and brutality were palpable, and you couldn't help but feel a twisted sense of satisfaction, knowing that you had set the tone for the night.

Jey, Sami, Kevin, Daniel Bryan, and Cesaro were all engaged in a fierce battle for the opportunity to challenge Roman Reigns for the Universal Championship. As the chaos unfolded, you could feel the anticipation building, knowing that your part in Roman's plan was about to come into play.

You winced as Kevin tossed Sami into the steel structure, the impact echoing through the arena. Jimmy patted your back as a silent comfort, and Roman turned to you at the movement. 

"You see what he does to his so called best friends, Y/N?" Roman's voice held a mix of disdain and calculated satisfaction. "This is your chance to make them understand, to make Kevin Owens understand, that betrayal comes with consequences."

You nodded in agreement, your eyes fixed on the screen as the chaos continued to unfold. You let out a sigh of relief as Kevin hit Sami with a stunner to pin him for the three count. At least you didn't have to hurt your Sami directly, but the next part of Roman's plan was now in motion.

Cesaro and Bryan were fighting on the top of one of the pods, each trying to gain the upper hand. Kevin and Jey were slamming each other into the steel cage, the sounds of bodies colliding reverberating through the arena. The anticipation in the air was palpable, and Roman's plan was inching closer to its climax.

1.

Cesaro was pinned by Daniel, who had just delivered a brutal running knee. The referee counted, and Cesaro was eliminated.

2. 

Jey managed to eliminate Daniel Bryan with a superkick, leaving only Kevin Owens and Jey Uso as the remaining competitors.

3.

Kevin hit a Pop-up Powerbomb on Jey Uso followed by a stunner, securing the victory and earning the right to challenge Roman Reigns for the Universal Championship.

"Now!" Roman roared at you, a command that snapped you out of your intense focus on the screen.

 It was time.

Jey, angry after being eliminated, stomped on Kevin, not allowing him a moment of respite after the grueling match. You followed Roman's lead, storming down the ramp with a determined stride and Jimmy right behind you.

Jey had Kevin trapped in between the steel steps and the chamber wall, delivering relentless stomps and kicks. The exhaustion from the match was evident on Kevin's face, but the anger in Jey's eyes fueled the assault.

"Y/N, make your move," Roman's voice echoed through the arena, urging you to unleash the darkness within.

“Y/N!” Jey screamed through the cell, beckoning you to join him.

 You looked to Roman; and any slight hesitation you might’ve had was washed away by the adrenaline coursing through your veins and Roman’s relentless gaze that was a silent demand for loyalty. If you backed out now, the consequences were grave. 

You stepped into the chamber, the cold steel beneath your boots sending shivers up your spine. Jey motioned for you to come closer to him, and it was like he sensed your inner conflict, giving you a comforting and encouraging look.

The anticipation in the air was palpable as you approached Jey, the steel structure enclosing both of you in a sinister dance of betrayal and loyalty.

“Do it!” Jey roared, his eyes filled with intensity. He kicked Kevin to make sure he stayed down before turning back to you, holding the steel doors open. “Do it, Y/N!”

And for just a second, you felt the weight of the moment, torn between loyalty and the darkness Roman demanded. You were sobered from the darkness, and for a split second, you stared at Kevins face, and wondered, just wondered, if the roles were switched, if Kevin would choose you. 

And just like that, the moment ended. 

“Ahh!” Kevin groaned out in pain when you took over from Jey, and just like you did with Becky, slammed the steel cage into Kevin’s arm, the steel deliciously meeting flesh.

 The impact reverberated through the chamber, a savage exclamation of your allegiance to the Tribal Chief. You slammed the steel into his arm over and over again, yelling at Kevin to stay down. 

“I told you to stay out of my business!” You screamed with each vicious strike, the sound echoing in the unforgiving steel chamber. “I told you to stay away from Roman! But you never listen!”

 Your voice was filled with a mix of anger, hurt, and frustration, the echoes bouncing off the cold steel walls. “You never listen to me! You never CHOOSE ME!” 

You rammed the steel cage into Kevin's arm one final time before letting go of the steel, leaving him writhing in pain on the unforgiving steel floor. You were breathing just as heavily as you ran your hands across the cold steel cage, the darkness within you pulsating with a newfound intensity. 

Your loyalty to Roman was now etched in the vicious strikes you delivered to Kevin. The symbolism of the steel meeting flesh resonated with the dominance Roman sought, and you had become the instrument of his will.

Jey wrapping an arm around your shoulder jolted you out of your thoughts, and you looked up at him, meeting his beautiful brown eyes that no longer held fear about your loyalty.  

The Tribal Chief stood outside the chamber, a satisfied smirk on his face, witnessing the culmination of your allegiance. The crowd's mixed reactions were drowned out by the satisfaction in Roman's gaze.

 Jey squeezed your shoulder and brought you closer to him as Roman made his way towards the ring, the Universal Championship draped over his shoulder. 

“I’m proud of you.” Jey whispered into your ear, his words barely audible over the fading echoes of the chaos you had unleashed. His lips grazed your ear, and the tension in the chamber slowly shifted to a moment of eerie calm. “Kevin didn’t pick you, but I chose you, Y/N.”

You know this is the part where the guilt should hit you, but it didn’t. Why would you feel guilty? You warned Kevin that you were a force to be reckoned with, that loyalty to Roman Reigns was your priority.

And what did he do?

Kevin defied your warnings, and now he had to pay the price. And you knew that if the roles were reversed and you were in Kevin's place, he wouldn't have shown you any mercy. 

So why should you extend a courtesy he wouldn't offer?

You would only feel guilty if you hurt Sami, and thankfully Sami was eliminated before the crucial moment.  Was it fate? You didn’t know. But what you did know was that you had proven your allegiance to Roman in the most brutal fashion, and you didn’t regret it one bit. 

Your head snapped towards Roman when he entered the ring, a smirk of satisfaction on his face. The Tribal Chief's presence commanded attention, and he nodded approvingly at the scene before him—the aftermath of your loyalty displayed in a brutal ballet of steel and flesh.

"You've made the right choice," Roman declared, his voice authoritative. He brought you into a dominant embrace, his hand gripping the back of your neck. The intensity in his eyes mirrored the satisfaction of a plan executed flawlessly. “I’m proud of you. Do you acknowledge me?”

You pulled away from Roman, a cold determination in your eyes. "I acknowledge you, Tribal Chief," you responded, the weight of those words resonating with a sense of finality.

Roman smiled at your words, a predatory glint in his eyes. His plan had come to fruition, and now he held not only the Universal Championship but also an unwavering allegiance from you, and that would not only hurt Kevin physically, but also leave an indelible mark on his psyche, solidify his dominance in the WWE and also secure your place by his side.

And that was the night you fully embraced the darkness, fully committing to Roman Reigns as the Tribal Chief.

"You wanted a match with me, Kevin?" Roman continued, tauntingly addressing the writhing Kevin Owens on the cold steel floor. He leaned down, his face inches from Kevin's, a sinister smile playing on his lips.

"Well, you got it. Get up." Roman straightened up, never breaking eye contact with Kevin. "Jey, Jimmy, grab him. Y/N, stand back," Roman commanded, and you complied without hesitation.

Jey and Jimmy, sensing Roman's desire for a prolonged punishment, dragged Kevin up. The once defiant fighter now seemed broken and battered, a shell of his former self.

Roman circled Kevin like a predator closing in on its prey. He reveled in the moment, savoring the defeat he orchestrated. The crowd's cheers or jeers were inconsequential; all that mattered was the dominance he asserted over the WWE and the loyalty you had pledged.

Jey and Jimmy lowered Kevin to the ground on his knees, and Roman chuckled at the pitiful sight before him. The Tribal Chief stood tall, the Universal Championship glistening in the harsh arena lights. Roman's eyes bore into Kevin, the intensity of his gaze almost suffocating.

"Look at me." When Kevin refused to comply, Roman harshly yanked Kevin's face up by his hair. "I said, look at me."

Kevin's eyes met Roman's, a mix of defiance and pain still lingering. Roman chuckled again, a dark amusement coloring the sound.

"You thought you could beat me? Challenge me? Take my place?" Roman's voice dripped with disdain, his words a venomous reminder of the consequences of defiance. "You never had a chance, Kevin."

With a swift motion, Roman delivered a thunderous Superman Punch, the impact sending Kevin sprawling to the mat. The crowd's reactions were drowned out by the dominant presence of the Tribal Chief.

"Your mistake was not acknowledging me," Roman continued, pacing around the fallen Kevin. "You see, Y/N understands. Loyalty is everything. And you seriously thought she would choose you over me when you have no loyalty? When you betrayed her trust time and time again?" Roman's voice was filled with a cold certainty, his words cutting through the air like a razor.

"I might hurt her, but I won't let anyone else hurt her." Kevin spat blood onto the cold steel floor, his defiance unwavering even in the face of such overwhelming odds. Roman chuckled at Kevin's feeble attempt to maintain his pride.

"You think she believes you Kevin? Look at her." Kevin weakly raised his head to glance at you. The conflict in your eyes was replaced with a steely resolve, a clear reflection of the choice you had made. Roman's smirk widened at the sight, the confirmation of your allegiance bringing him a sense of triumph.

"She will never forgive you. She will never be by your side again, she will never be your best friend again. And you know whose fault it is that she choose me? You." Roman laughed, a sinister satisfaction in his tone. "You pushed her away, and now she's where she belongs."

"You see, Y/N," Roman said, turning his attention to you, "this is the price of betrayal. Loyalty is not just a word; it's an action. And tonight, you've shown where your allegiance lies."

He gestured for you to step forward, and you did so with a mix of pride and reluctance. Roman handed you the Universal Championship, the weight of the title in your hands a symbolic gesture of your newfound allegiance.

"Finish it," Roman commanded, his eyes locked onto yours. The crowd's murmurs and gasps filled the arena as you stood over Kevin, holding the championship that now represented your loyalty to the Tribal Chief.

Your eyes locked with Kevins, and you could see the pain and betrayal in his gaze. The conflict within you briefly resurfaced, but Roman's dominance held you in its grip.

"You're not their blood, and even if you were, they'd never treat you like family." Kevin coughed out, his words strained. The bitter taste of defeat mixed with defiance lingered in the air.

"And you are?" You spat at him, the darkness within you responding to Roman's influence. The crowd's boos and cheers seemed distant, drowned out by the intensity of the moment.

"You know the answer to that." Kevin's voice trembled with a mix of pain and disappointment, steeling himself for what he knew was coming. For a second, you hesitated, the weight of Kevin's words lingering in the air. But then, as if on cue, Roman's gaze bore into yours, a silent command to complete your task.

You slammed the title onto Kevin's face with a resounding thud, making him crumple to the mat, sealing your fate with Kevin's defeat.

Roman laughed proudly, raising your hand along with the Universal Championship. The arena erupted in a mix of cheers and boos, but none of it mattered in the face of the dominance Roman had asserted, and you had willingly embraced.

"Ring the bell." Roman ordered at the referee outside the ring, who seemed hesitant but complied with Roman's command. Roman easily pinned Kevin for the three-count, making Kevin's efforts in vain.

The referee signaled for the bell, declaring Roman Reigns the winner, the Universal Champion who had not only conquered Kevin Owens physically but also broken his spirit in the most ruthless manner with you by his side.

You had done it. Proven your loyalty, passed the test, proven that you are the champion you said you are, and that you were willing to go to any lengths for the Tribal Chief.

And as you stared at Kevin lying defeated on the cold steel mat, the red blood drying on his face, your own title wrapped around your waist, you felt a surge of power, the intoxicating allure of victory and loyalty.

You looked down at the red stained title in your hands, the metallic taste of triumph in the air.

Red.

Red was definitely your favorite color now.

"I think we gotta talk about us now." Jey moaned out as you straddled his waist and kissed down his neck in the confines of your hotel room, high on adrenaline and power. The room was dimly lit, and the shadows played on the walls, mirroring the complexities of the choices you had made in the ring.

"Later." You sucked on the sweet spot on his neck, hoping to distract him from the conversation you needed to have. The taste of victory still lingered on your lips, and the primal energy from the ring had seeped into the intimacy of the hotel room.

Jey's hands gripped your hips, his breath hitching at your touch. "Wait, wait-fuck." Jey groaned as you licked a stripe on his chest, savoring the lingering taste of triumph.

"Y/N," he managed to say, catching your attention. You paused, looking into his eyes, the darkness within you still flickering like a flame.

"Is this not okay?" You asked softly, gently tracing your fingers along his jawline. Jey sighed, a mix of pleasure and contemplation in his eyes.

"It's more than okay. It's perfect," he admitted, his hands now cupping your face. "But you made a choice, a powerful one. You embraced the darkness for Roman, for us."

You leaned back, studying Jey's expression. There was a vulnerability in his eyes, a desire to understand the depth of your commitment. "Jey, I did what I had to do. Roman needed me, and I made the right choice."

Jey nodded, but there was a hint of concern in his gaze. "Did you do it for just him, or for me too?"

You met Jey's gaze, your mind processing the weight of his question. The room, once filled with the aftermath of triumph, now felt heavy with unspoken truths. Your allegiance to Roman had solidified, but what did it mean for the connection you shared with Jey?

"I did it for both of you," you admitted, your voice steady. "I did it for the family, for the unity. Roman needed my loyalty, and in choosing him, I'm choosing all of us."

You shifted so that you were now sitting beside Jey, your fingers tracing abstract patterns on his chest. "I want to be with you, I want to have you in any way that you'll let me." You paused, the intensity of the moment hanging in the air. Jey remained silent, his eyes searching yours for sincerity.

"I want us to be powerful together, Jey," you continued, your voice a gentle whisper. "I don't want to lose what we have, but I had to prove myself to Roman, to the family. It doesn't change how I feel about you."

Jey sighed, his fingers gently grazing over your intertwined hands. "And how do you feel about me?"

You looked at him as if he should already know the answer. "Jey, I had the option to back away from all this, to grab that title and hit you with it, but I didn't. I chose this, I chose Roman, and I chose you. I feel… conflicted, yet empowered. This is the path I've taken, and I want you with me on this journey."

You tightened your grip on Jey's hand, seeking reassurance. "I like you, and I want us to be together. I want there to be an us. We can take it slow, I think we both need that after tonight."

Jey took in your words, the complexity of the situation reflected in his eyes. He nodded slowly, a mixture of understanding and acceptance in his expression. His beautiful brown eyes locked onto yours, and he brought your hand to his lips, placing a soft kiss on your knuckles.

"I'm with you, Y/N," Jey said, his voice a reassuring murmur. "Whatever path you choose, I'm riding with you. Just promise me one thing."

You looked at him, waiting for his request.

"No matter what happens, no matter what Roman says or does, you never turn your back on me." Jey squeezed your hand even tighter. "I've had too many people turn their backs on me, and I can't handle losing you like that. Even if Kevin and Sami try to drive a wedge between us, promise me you won't let them succeed."

Jey pressed his forehead against yours, and you could feel the vulnerability in his plea. "Promise me you won't leave me."

"I promise, Jey," you whispered, your fingers gently tracing the contours of his face. "I won't turn my back on you. No matter what."

It felt like hours as you waited for Jey to respond. The room held its breath, the air heavy with unspoken emotions.

Finally, Jey broke out into a genuine, heartfelt smile, and in one swift motion, pulled you into his lap and brought you into a mind numbing kiss.

He licked at your lips, his hands exploring the contours of your body, a mixture of passion and reassurance in his touch. Every touch felt like heaven, every kiss felt like he was bringing you to life after the darkness of the ring.

"You can't leave me." That statement was backed up by the hard press of his lips against yours.

"I won't." A promise from you that was reassured with the soft caress of your tongue in his mouth. And for the rest of the night, the two of you lost yourselves in reassuring each other, not caring who heard or what consequences awaited in the world outside, and you realized that the anger subsided with every touch of his, and with every dampening of it came with an ease you only ever felt with one other person.

Unbeknownst to the two of you, that one other person stood outside your hotel room, heart dropping at the sounds of passion and commitment emanating from within. Sami had pretend to the hotel clerk that he was your manager, needing to check on you after the intense match.

The truth was, he wanted to make things right with you after seeing everything that happened tonight, wanted to try to get the woman he lov- the woman who was his best friend, back.

He had come bearing a bouquet of flowers, and two tickets to Montreal, to see your family that he knew you missed, ready to apologize and express his feelings. However, the sounds of intimacy between you and Jey shattered his hopes like fragile glass.

Sami's heart sank, realizing that he might have lost you for good. That should be him making you feel loved and wanted, not Jey. He leaned against the wall outside your room, the weight of the realization hitting him hard.

The bouquet of flowers in his hands and the gift bag suddenly felt like a pathetic offering in the face of the passion and commitment he could hear behind the door. The satisfaction he had at seeing Kevin broken in the ring was now overshadowed by the bitter taste of his own defeat in matters of the heart.

Sami took a deep breath, fighting back the emotions threatening to overwhelm him. He couldn't bring himself to knock on the door, to interrupt the intimate moment between you and Jey.

Instead, he turned away, his steps heavy as he walked down the corridor, leaving the flowers and tickets at your doorstep, a silent acknowledgment of his failed attempt to win you back.

Before he went to the elevator, the sadness that enveloped him left and was replaced by motivation. You were his best friend, and he couldn't let this be the end. Sami would find a way to make things right, to prove to you that he could change and be the person you needed.

As the elevator doors closed, Sami took a deep breath, a determined glint in his eyes. He wasn't gonna let Jey win this without a fight. Sami had lost the battle tonight, but he was ready to wage a war for your heart.

Sami would do anything to make you see that he was the one who truly cared about you, who had been there for you through thick and thin, to have you in his life.

Even if that took hours, days months, or years, he would find a way to win you back. He had some business to take care of first with matters of the IC title, but eventually he would focus on winning back your heart.

Sami Zayn walked away from your hotel room, determined to prove that he was the one who deserved your loyalty and love.

And he would do anything, even join the Bloodline, to prove it.

[wannab-urs]

The Spreadsheet Digest - Fic Recs | Vol 11

Hi friends!!

I've really outdone myself this week, folks. I read TWENTY SEVEN new fics (including three very long series) + a bunch of updates to WIPs I was already reading. That being said, I'm gonna sort these by character for you because it's a lot to scroll through.

If you're new here, these are all the fics I read this week (except series updates and unnamed drabbles) and my unhinged/unedited ramblings about them :)

You can find the full spreadsheet here, and you're always welcome to tag me in your fics <3

Fic recs below the Pedro <3

Din Djarin

Wherever You Stray, I Follow a one shot by @beskarandblasters

This is one of those fics that makes me genuinely pissed I'm not living in the Star Wars universe. Why can't I run away from an arranged marriage with my bodyguard who just so happens to be a very very handsome man in a suit of pure beskar? It's not fair.

Beskar Doll a series by @justagalwhowrites

Okay so I read 40+ chapters of this in TWO days. The story is so engaging?! Also we all know I love me some angst and the angst in this is so well done. It's believable, it's painful, it's excellent. I'm always hype for reader characters/FMC/OFC that are strong and capable (not that I have an issue with the damsel in distress fics either but...) I am obsessed with the reader/MC in this. She's so fucking cool and strong and AGH!!! There was no part of this where I was bored or wondered why the story went in a certain direction - it always made sense to me and I was completely engaged the whole time. That's pretty impressive for a long ass fic like this. I usually fall off after 20 or so chapters. Everyone should read this, tbh.

Significant a one shot by @softlyspector

AHHHH okay first of all, you gotta read the drabble first so you get a feel for the relationship. This was SO CUTE. I support every choice made in this fic. I don't want to spoil anything, but just know that I love the characterization and dialogue in this. I love how quickly I got sucked into the story and believed their relationship despite it only being 5k. I could kind of imagine a full series around this. It was sooooo cute UGH. (Look at me reading fluff, what's goin on).

Fix it a one shot by @jksprincess10

I love how you've barely written Din before (1 fic) and then you produce this. It's so fucking good. We get helmetless!Din without a fuckton of buildup and like I get that it's not the most realistic, but sometimes you just want Din Djarin to eat you out without 20 chapters of wondering what his face looks like or having to be in the dark. And the tattoos... nad... you gave him tattoos.... I'll pass out and die on the floor right now.

a little attention a one shot by @luckbealincoln

Din has a rough day (haha get it?) and reader knows just how to get rid of his pissy ass attitude. I love love love dom!Din so fucking much this is so hot PLEASE

Best Kept Secret a series by @lincolndjarin

Bodyguard!Din and princess!reader!!!!!!!!!!!! I love this trope so much. I expected the fic to be a little kitschy because I mean... it's a kitschy trope. And I love kitschy shit that's why I clicked on it... but guys! guys!! it's not!! This fic has so much depth, so much emotion. The little glimpses of Din's backstory, the depictions of mental health, that bastard Kodo, my beloved Elaine and Lysa... just... there's so much in this story that I adore. It feels fresh and interesting and it's heart wrenching and wonderful and sexy and....yeah read this one thanks.

Who do you belong to? a one shot by @beskarandblasters

HOT!!!!!!! Possessive!Din is so fucking hot. The smut is.... oh my lordt it is good.

Joel Miller

i can be your pretty girl a series by @walkintotheriveranddisappear

A little innocent reader/manipulative dbf!joel never hurt anyone, right? I fucking love this. And the subsequent part is... even better (worse? more depraved?).

Epiphany a one shot by @jksprincess10

This story hurts. It hits you right in the chest and takes the breath out of you. Worth the pain though. It's gorgeously done <3

I'll Do Anything a one shot by @beskarandblasters

I feel like I've seen some fics that are this trope but in reverse, where Joel is the one making reader pay with sex. I think I like this better tbh. Desperate, needy Joel is everything.

Seven a one shot by @proxima-writes

Starting with the dream was so fucking good! And I really like the choice to not make it a 1 to 1 direct recreation of the actual scene with Sarah. I loved the early interactions with Joel and reader so much. The library scene AHHH!!!! And then fast forwarding through the reallly good smut, the dream that's not a nightmare???? Are you kidding me??? genius. Reader still believing in beautiful things and making joel believe he deserves good things and oh my god just shoot me now this was adorable.

sensational a series by @sinsofsummers

I guess I was on an innocent reader kick this week idk. I love the buildup of the reader's background in this though. She feels like a real person and not just a vessel for actual reader to pretend we're virgins and Joel Miller is teaching us about sex. Like she is that, don't get me wrong, and I love it. But!! She's a real person, with feelings and a backstory and I am a slut for a good story with my smut. Okay and also Joel doesn't feel like a creep in this, which is a little hard to achieve given the premise. I really liked this and I hope we get more. (there's a part two, but like I'd read 10 parts of this are you kidding)

Desire a series by @toxic-seduction

Good ol' depraved smut. I haven't read one like this before!! And the follow up is just as yummy. Highly recommend if you're feeling a little freaky :)

Gimme What I Want a series by @atticrissfinch

Oh my god oh my GOD oh my god. This was so fucking hot?! And the little moments of humor too?! I love the format for this so much. And the attention to detail with the timestamps and everything!! And then part two... I was not prepared. God it was so hot. (and the lil bonus of Joel being awkward and adorable ughhhh). The blend of sexy and funny and a tad bit depraved and a tiny bit sweet... perfect.

Lavender a series by @justagalwhowrites

Hey, it's not nice to break people's hearts repeatedly. There are barely even words to describe this fic. The nanny trope to start out with, meaning that you get really really attached to Sarah and pre-outbreak Joel and you build up all these hopes and dreams for the two of them.... and then... (trying not to spoil things) Joel being a moron and then the outbreak of course and... I always want to know what happens in that 20 years between outbreak and Joel meeting Ellie. I really adore the way that canon content was blended with original content in a way that seems to make Joel's actions make even more sense than they do in canon. Doc is such a cool character also??? And oh my GOD Andrew and Jess... I seriously cannot explain how fucking perfect this is. I could read it forever. Like I hope you carry it on through season two when that comes out, it's that good. I would read 500 chapters of this.

Mine a one shot by @the-scandalorian

How does one write Porn Without Plot, anal at that, and make it profound? Apparently this way. How dare you make me feel anything but a little ashamed and lot horny about an ANAL FIC?! Are you a fucking WIZARD?! Anyway yeah y'all should read this one.

Stay here, honey a one shot by @swiftispunk

This is just porn but I was having that kind of day. dbf!joel + really high chance of getting caught PWP. Wonderful <3

What I need a one shot by @swiftispunk

knife kink knife kink knife kink knife kink knife kink knife kink knife kink knife kink knife kink knife kink knife kink knife kink knife kink knife kink knife kink knife kink knife kink knife kink knife kink knife kink knife kink knife kink knife kink knife kink knife kink knife kink knife kink knife kink knife kink knife kink knife kink knife kink knife kink knife kink. Oh and also a lil bit of sweetness at the end. Yes please

Your Summer Dream a series by @swiftispunk

Look I've only read chapter one and I'm already in love. The set up is so good. Joel seems so sweet and charming and cool and HOT?!? Reader is about to win the rebound Jackpot for real. I'd be jealous if I wasn't,,,, ya know,,, the reader.

exile a one shot by @tieronecrush

Oh hey cool, thanks for hurting my feelings... just kidding you know I love angst. This was so gorgeously written. I love all the descriptions a lot. And also... I read a lot of joel/reader breakups where she just immediately crumbles and takes him back because like wouldn't we all? But I really like how you had her hesitate even though she's clearly miserable. At least one of us is emotionally mature enough to not dive headfirst back into a toxic relationship (couldn't be me).

Javier Peña

a pile of cards a one shot by @undercoverpena

There are very few things I love more than fluffy, soft!Javi Peña. That man has the capacity to be so sweet and caring and kind and loving and AHHHHHH. I really love the way this story is told. A story in birthdays for your birthday celebration... that's so fucking creative I love it. I just... I can't say enough about this fic. Read it!!

not here, not now a one shot by @gracieispunk

Reader gets in trouble with Javi and handcuffs are involved... I feel like I do not need to say more.

(Re)union with Elvis a one shot by @tieronecrush

I've read a lot of these lil accidental marriage fics, and this is one of my favorites so far. I loved getting to see them meet up sober, go through the whole night, experience the silly wedding, the mind blowing sex, and then the wakeup scene is actually so cute? I rarely see one of these without a defcon level freak out about the fact they got married. Imagine telling this story at your wedding? Like oh yeah we've actually already divorced each other and it was before we ever started dating.

Pero Tovar

Xìngjiāo a one shot by @absurdthirst

I finally watched The Great Wall and my literal first move after finishing it was to see if absurdthirst wrote a sex pollen fic for Tovar and she FUCKING DID!!!!! Gods I love sex pollen.

Pero Tovar and his Guerrera a series by @prolix-yuy

This lil loose fit series makes my heart sing. Pero being an idiot? Reader being a badass? Silly arrangement to be able to stay near each other without having to admit feelings? Finally admitting feelings??? Wrap me up in this story and bury me in it, thanks.

Dave York

Stormy Secrets a one shot by @absurdthirst

Kinda randomly got in the mood to read something fucked up and stumbled on this lovely Dave York fic. Murder daddy didn't let me down, this was EXCELLENT. Pretty much checked every box on the list of what I would kill to have Dave York do to me.

Just Your Average Suburban Couple a one shot by @absurdthirst

What if Murder Daddy had a Murder Wife? I know it's a hot take, but I love the fake dating trope so this is so fun for me. Add in badass reader, infidelity, murder, Dave York being soft (in his own way), domestic Dave, and possessive/jealous!Dave? Oh and of course delicious smut. I LOVE THIS SO MUCH

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Do y'all prefer it sorted like this or was it fine the old way? This takes a little extra work, but it's not that bad.

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Happy Reading!

[happyely]

Fic authors self rec! When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you've written, then pass on to at least five other writers. Let’s spread the self-love. 🥀🖤

(Thank you for the tag @dynamars) 🪷

Although at the moment there are only two to be published here are my stories

My Hogwarts Accademia {DabixFem!ReaderxShigaraki}

Set in the famous school of witchcraft and wizardry, the story follows the protagonist as she begins to navigate the dangerous world of magic in which her parents have disappeared, but she won't be alone: ​​Dabi and Shigaraki will become two very important people to her...

A Song of Love and Blue Fire - [work in progress] - {DabixFem!Reader}

You are Princess Fuyumi's lady-in-waiting. Even though she is two years younger than you, you have a very close relationship with her and her family. Only Prince Touya keeps his distance from you, but you can't blame him, he likes another kind of women and he is the heir to the throne, you are just his sister's lady-in-waiting. Life in the palace goes by quietly, Princess Fuyumi's birthday is upon us, it promises to be a very important celebration for the royal family and for the nobility. But something doesn't go as planned and suddenly you find yourself having to pass out a conspiracy against the royal family and working closely with Prince Touya and his attendants.

Egyptian Tales - [work in progress]

Four very spicy one-shots with an ancient Egyptian background🌅

My Hero Accademia Crossover/ Jujutsu kaisen - Sorcery Fight - The Curse of the Blue Pearls [ DabixOc]

Dabi is a curse that was awakened when Erena broke a blue pearl necklace. Erena has always seen paranormal things since she was a child, she is not afraid of the curse she has released, but she is attracted to it and wants to help her. In a difficult situation they are forced to make an agreement, but this is not seen well by sorcerers.

ProHeroTouya x FemVillainreader! [Work in progress]

A very particular Au, I'm undecided on how many chapters to do, I estimate between 15/20 just to do things right and I don't know, I would like to have your opinion🥺, I would also like to put some nuicge, I already have a couple in my head🥰 obviously there will be hot scenes and smut 🥵 🌶️🔞, but there will also be a lot of angst and a lot of introspection.

Bonus:

Dabi

10 short essays on Dabi

Tag: @airanke @dabislittlemouse @dabislittlebeaniebaby @dabislilbaby @dabisqueen

[aithusarosekiller]

fic recs, some positivity for your blog!!

(all on ao3, it's all i use)

"only the brave" by solmussa is genuinely my favourite fic ever (in my years of obsessive fanfic reading), it's got jegulus, wolfstar, dorlene, rosekiller, pandalily, amazing ocs (elspeth fawley my love my darling my beloved), MOONWATER FRIENDSHIP SUPREMACY, regulus being an evil (not actually) mastermind and literally i like fucking cannot. i cant even begin to describe how much i love this fic, 100/10 absolutely recommend reading if you haven't already [completed, 64 chapters, 645k words]

"go east" by xinasvoice is a wolfstar howls moving castle au, literally need i say more [completed, 11 chapters, 84k words]

"threes family" and it's sequel "eights company" by darkbluedark, im obsessed with marauders time travel fics if you couldn't tell [threes family is complete, 5 chapters, almost 20k words; eights company is a wip, 3 chapters, 15k words]

"the golden king" by maladaptivewriting, another time travel fic!! jegulus, wolfstar, drarry, regulus being a slayboss icon as per usual [wip, but already has 123 chapters and almost 500k words]

"like real people do" by arins_writings has jegulus, wolfstar, dorlene, time travel (yippie!!!), enemies to lovers, forced (ish) proximity and all sorts of shit that makes my autism happy [completed, 60 chapters, 201k words. sequel is a wip, 6 chapters, 16k words]

"into the dark" by phantomgrimalkin another time travel fic!!! wolfstar, jily, drarry, bastard rat ass motherfucker albus dumbledore [complete, 20 chapters, 88k words]

"(i will) wear you down" by rainiris is an amazing motherfucking concept, really slow updates but is absolutely worth it. jegulus, wolfstar, marylily, dorlene, past jily (and harry!), basically regulus fakes his death but james goes looking for him, the cutie patootie [wip, 18/32 chapters, 121k words]

"you only live twice" by drift99 is also really good, it's wolfstar, jily (jegulily later on ehehe), polyamory time travel bullshit (literally my favourite kind of bullshit). remus and hermione saving the world, underrated friendship tbh [completed, 47 chapters, 95k words]

"anti-hero" by rweoutofthewoods has jegulus, wolfstar, bamf regulus, moonwater friendship!!! regulus fakes his death, but remus finds him. platonic soulmates istg. also has marylily but it doesn't end well for them :((… [completed, 41 chapters, 237k words]

"dear your holiness" by mollymarymarie is basically, at it's barest bones, a wolfstar fleabag au. priest remus lupin, modern au, sorta-partly-kinda texting fic, very very sacrilegious, and a happy ending! [completed, 12 chapters, 142k words]

"saccharine" by moonymoment is a sweet little (maybe not little, but shorter than my usual 100k+ word fics) wolfstar modern ghost au! background jily, happy ending, basically sirius is a ghost that haunts remus' apartment and its really domestic

if you've read any/all of these pls lmk what you think i love to talk about the marauders

OMG HIIII

I also only use ao3 so don't you even worry 😭 ao3 is my baby I live there

THIS IS PERFECT TIMING bc i started only the brave last year big for some reason stopped? Idk if it was school work or something but I've been telling myself that this summer im gonna read it all the way through because I remember loving the writing and the story so I can't wait to sit and get all the way through it again. I've already seen so many spoilers but I'm gonna pretend I haven't 💀

I've been subscribed to the golden king since Reg's first Diagon trip and it LOVE IT SO MUCH 😭 the bond with Harry, the relationship with Sirius creeping back, the entire MESS with James. I love it. So good.

Okay about like real people do 😭 I SWEAR I MUST HAVE READ IT???? I love time-travel and I love Jegulus and I love long fics....and I SWEAR it rings a bell in my mind so tell me why I just went over to ao3 to double check and I literally cannot remember it 😞 maybe I read a bit then lost the tab???? Or started smth else and forgot to go back???? Either way it's going back onto the tbr bc why the hell would I not have read it all that's insane. Thank you for reviving my pea-memory so I can come back to this one 🙏

I LOVE ANTI HERO SO SO MUCH DUDE like I remember reading it last year and not putting my phone down until it was done, it's a PROBLEM. Whenever I think about reg lives I think about that even when I've read so many others with the concept it's just so...AAAAA. The desert scene of forever stuck in my mind for some reason idk 😭

I personally will probably not read the others (the people who know my blog could smell this coming, I see you) because wolfstar and jily aren't really my thing anymore (I dealt with a few elitist/aggressive fans over the years which has unfortunately just completely put me off being able to enjoy any content for them anymore :( still makes me sad icl) but!! I will tag it with them so all the people who DO love them can see these recs and go and read them if they haven't already because the premises look SO cool

[mirkomos]

Between me and You~ cp.2

Armin x reader...

♡♡♡♡~

Chapter tw: Armin x reader, tension, arguing, cursing, falling asleep on him

Word count: 1.8k

story context: your newly broken up with jean and he won't leave you alone. You start to "date" Armin to get jean off your back, but during this fake relationship you start to develop feeling for him—your relationship with Armin becomes a bit...confusing. No other then any other relationships yours and armin's has its ups and downs but maybe it will turn into the real thing...

You wake up to the loud blaring of your alarm for the second time, you knew by anytime sasha would come bursting into your room–snatching the sheets off of you and forcing you to get out of bed. Your first class is at 9:40 and Sasha ends hers 30 minutes before yours even starts so shes usually the one to wake you up in the morning. Lazily, you get out of bed to go get ready across the hall– in the kitchen there was sasha and connie having their breakfast “ So i hear you and armin have FINALLY gotten together after all this time and you didnt bother to tell me?” For years connies have been bugging you and armin about getting together saying you guys would be such a good couple…but its not like you guys are a real couple so what does it matter.

“Oh well i guess it must have slipped my mind” you say as you make your way to the bathroom to brush your teeth.

Connie continues to yap on and on to you but you pretend that your listening.

Nevertheless, wont stop “you know connie i really think that we should talk about this when im finished getting ready” your right he says and he finally goes back to the kitchen to keep talking to sasha. As your doing you hair you hear a ding on your phone–you look down and it was armin who sent you a good morning text… wow he's really committing to this role huh? Cute… As your texting him you can feel a smile creep across your face as he ask you what you dreamt about…it was him “Y/N HURRY UP YOUR GONNA BE LATE.” 

Shit she was right, it was 9:20 and the building was right across campus–you make your way to the kitchen to find breakfast before class but low and behold there was sasha and connie eating most of it “oops” they both say in unison. It’s like you can't have anything to yourself in this place “i have to go anyways” as your getting your stuff your hear a ding on your phone but cant be bothered because you gonna be late– as you go to open the door your met with a surprise

“Armin what are you doing here?” it was such a shock to see him ‘what a cute jetser’ you think to yourself as you can hear connie and sasha snickering in the background “didn't you see my text this morning? I'm walking you to class.” you heart stops a little and you can feel your face heat up “oh um…yea ok thanks” you knows he can see how nervous you are–as you close the door you can hear sasha “Damn i wish niccolo would do that for me” 

That comment made you giggle a little bit 

“So um…thanks for picking me up.” you kind of whisper, you guys were starting to walking down the halls together “Oh yea i thought that it would be better for people to see us walking to class together” armin has a tendency to not really make eye contact when talking to people but he tries–the awkward silence between the two of you is excruciating painful until you walk out of the dorm building and armin wraps his arm around you. This took you by surprise and you looked at him but he didnt look back–he just kept his head up and kept walking “your shoulders are tense, ease up a bit” he whispers in your ear. 

Hes right…in fact you're the one who came up with the idea that you guys should ‘fake date’ in the first place you needed to act comfortable in the relationship. You relax yourself -and lean into his touch and lean on his shoulders, you get a few stares from people around campus but it felt good to be walking with Armin. You felt comforted.

You and Armin start walking to class–there wasn't much conversation between the two of you on the walk here but it was a comfortable silence.

You walk into class and there he was sitting in the front row…Jean. The look on his face was one of absolute terror and anger. All you can feel is joy as you whip your smug look off your face and  look at his dumbfounded face as you an armin walk bye him to your seats in the back of the class.

“So eren told me last night about how he found you and armin snuggled up on the couch together huh?” mikasa retorts. Eren looks away as mikasa says this–he can't seem to ever keep his mouth shut about anything “oh really he did..” you go to shoot him a dirty look but he isnt paying attention, for once he decides to pay attention and do his work. “you know sooner or later i knew this would happen. “ she says as she goes back to writing her assignment. Is this really what people have been thinking, you and armin?. You look over to him– hes head down reading and doing his assignment. He looks so… peaceful and sweet, maybe you were staring at him for a bit to long because professor levi speaks up “Hey y/n why don't you stop looking at arlet and do your assignment.'' You can hear armins quiet laughter from the side with a smirk on his face.

As you look in front of you– you can see jean fazed out with a constipated look on his face or angry–you cant really tell they always looked the same to you but you go back to getting your assignment because class was gonna be over in half-hour. 

........

The bell rings and class is over, you wouldn't have another class with him for the rest of the day but you got a break in between so you could still see him if he wasn't in the library. “Alright i'll see you soon” armin says as he’s packing up– “ok bye” he wraps his arm around your shoulders and gives you a kiss on the head. You look up at him and flash him a smile as he walks away, out of he corner of your eye you can see jean looking at you with anger in his eyes. When jean get angry with you he's not reasonable at all, That's one of the main reasons why you broke up with him in the first place–you try to make a run for it to the door but the he is standing right behind you

“Hey I really need to talk to you” you don't want to block the entrance so you just keep walking “ listen jean i don't have time to talk right now.” You sped up your pace and he noticed that because he sped up until he couldn't keep up and he grabbed your wrist and pulled you toward him “Are you serious you moved on this quick? And with Armin on top of it!” he practically yelled and people stopped to stare at the two of you. All eyes on the two of you “I dont wanna talk to you right now jean, and don't try to act all innocent as if you treated me like shit half of the time!” You stand there for a second or two and walk away pushing through the crowd of people as you can feel a tears welling up, Jean tried to get after you but he loses you in the crowd.

Annie and hitch who have been your friends since middle school saw all of this and went after you as you made your way out of the courtyard doors “Are your ok” hitch said as she stopped you “ Yea you don't look too well.” Annie said. She’s not someone that you talk to a lot –mostly when you go to parties you hang out with her “ oh yea…i'm ok i just don't really want to talk about it.” you say as you can feel the warm tear trickle down your cheek. Hitch looks at you with a sorrowful look in her eyes before she gives you a hug and walks aways, annie flashes you a smile, pats you on the back and follows after hitch.

You stand there at the entrance of the courtyard looking stupid–just standing there–holding back tears, you go to take a seat at one of the tables in the courtyard and debate on whether you wanted to go to your next class. You just felt so embarrassed of what happened, you never liked to have too much attention on you but there it was silent…with all the students in that hallway you could hear a pin drop when you and jean weren't arguing.

You felt so small in that moment– the way you felt in your relationship with jean. Nevertheless, you didn’t wanna seem weak so you had to continue with your day.

By the end of the day you ended up not talking that much. You were just–in your own world–most of your friends tried to cheer you up but you barley talked to them. The only person to get you to ever open up and talk about your feelings was armin… he was the only person you wanted to talk to so when your last class was over you went to go look for him. Sure enough there he was in the library.

You go into the library and walk towards where hes sitting–he looked up at you and immediately got up out of the chair and hugged you. You hesitated at first but then…you just fell apart in his arms. All that pent up frustration you had all day just fizzled when your crying in his arms, “Hey, lets go back to my room ok?” you sniffled tearfully with an ok and walked back to his place with your head hung low.

Why were you letting this jean situation get to you this much?

He opens the door to his dorm and you sit down on his couch while Armin puts his stuff away and you dont realize that a tear was traveling down your cheek. But Armin did…he sat next to you on the couch and wiped the tear off your check.

 You tell him all about what had happened that morning after class–in the hallways and the rest of the day. He already knew because word got around and eren told him, you could see the hurt and anger in his expressions as you told him what had happened–sniffling through the day. Laying down in his arms, letting him comfort you again about jean. You couldnt deny the fact that you felt safe in his arms– you felt so comforted and whole when you were with armin. 

As you thought about your feelings with armin, you felt yourself drifting off to sleep onto armin and he could feel that too because he held you tighter. You heard him whisper something but you were to delirious to make out what had happened ,inhaling the scent of vanilla on his hoodie and then after a few seconds you fell asleep in armins arms...

tags:@aotlb

comment any suggestions :)

[skyrim-forever]

11.First "big purchase" they ever made on their own for Theo

W. First time they realized their relationship is endgame... or isn't for Ondo

🖌️ - First character you created, or first character you wrote for for well you!

Awe thank you so much friend!

Theo's first big purchase was actually buying back something she had to sell when she first moved to the Imperial City. She originally sold an enchanted ebony dagger that was her father's that he stole from a guy in Morrowind. After making money fighting, she purchases it back as it hold sentimental value <3

Neither of them ever thought they'd end up together and as their relationship develops this impending doom (for lack of a better word) hangs over them. As you've read my fic We Will Find a Way, the exact moment that Ondolemar realizes he will do whatever it takes to be togteher is when Elenwen lets it slip that she was the one who made Theodora leave Skyrim. At this point he has already been deeply questioning his position in the Thalmor heavily (both for reasons related and unrelated to Theo), so this is kind of the breaking point for him. Trying to leave, find her, and hopefully make some sort of life together is worth the danger.

See growing up I used to create characters or self inserts (as a lot of us probably did/still do) but I can't remember any of them specifically. My first tes oc was named Anya, she was a Nord from a small farm in Eastmarch. I have tried to write her story through the Dragonborn DLC, plotted 20 chapters but I just wasn't feeling it. It wasn't clicking. I think the issue was I felt like I had to write a longfic, because that's what everyone else does. But I really don't enjoy it. I like one-shots and minifics, I prefer to focus on character rather than action, and I know what themes I like to explore now.

[emeraldhazeart]

Twenty Questions for Fic Writers

Thank you so much for the tag @hikamaus 💚 This looks really fun.

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

At this moment, I have 32 works on Ao3 (most of them oneshots)

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

At the time of posting this, it's 146,576, but I'm very close to posting the next chapter of Solace

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Mostly Undertale right now, but I also occasionally write for Harvest Moon/Story of Seasons and Sonic the Hedgehog

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

1. Leaving a Mark

2. Robin's Nest

3. Solace

4. In Your Corner

5. Riding Therapy

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I love responding to comments! Even if it's just an emoji, I try to say thank you in reply, so they know I appreciate them taking the time to leave a comment.

I know there are some comments that I haven't gotten round to responding to, and those haunt me. Please know that it's either because I don't have the spoons at this moment, or because it's been so long that I'm shy about replying. But I genuinely do appreciate each and every comment I receive. 💚

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Probably No Man's Land (which also happened to be my first Undertale fic)

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

I've got to say Photograph for that one. It still brings tears to my eyes rereading it, but they're happy tears.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

No one has said anything directly to me, but I did stumble upon a comment someone left elsewhere saying that one of my fics wasn't their thing because they "[didn't] like how the story is being told".

That really hurt at the time, especially as there was no other context as to why they felt that way. But my friends gave me encouragement and support.

Please be aware that anything you say online can eventually find it's way to the author, so please be kind.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

I don't, sorry.

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

Not really. I've written crossovers featuring characters from separate games in the same franchise before, but nothing that spans entirely different franchises

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I know of.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

I would be delighted if anyone enjoyed my work enough to want to translate it

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

No, but I would love to 💚

14. What’s your all time favourite ship?

Do Canon Character x Reader stories count? No?

Hmm... I can't think of any that would be my OTP. I generally prefer familial/platonic relationships, tbh

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

None of my WIPs are abandoned. But probably most of the original stories I've started and then never finished over the years. It's just much harder for me to maintain motivation when I don't have anyone reading my work and cheering me on.

16. What are your writing strengths?

I've always loved painting a scene or an emotion with words.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Oof, so many 😅 one thing I struggle with is wanting to post what I've written straight away. Sometimes that can work, like freshly baked bread. But most of the time it's like a plain cake: it needs time to cool, and then be assembled/decorated/finished in order to get the best experience from it.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

I'd only do it if I was totally confident that I'd gotten it right. A common or short phrase would be my limit otherwise. If I really wanted to write dialogue in another language, I'd ask someone fluent in the language to help me with the translation and proof read my work.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

I think it was actually Legend of Zelda. I was about 12, and my brother, his friend and I made ourselves LoZ Ocarina of Time OCs. We started writing a fic of them, but never got very far.

20. Favourite fic you’ve written?

Probably Photograph. I'm a sucker for a moving reunion scene, and that fic genuinely brought tears to my eyes as I was writing it.

No pressure tags (I'm going to try to avoid tagging anyone that @/hikamaus already tagged 😅) : @sneakyfox55 @hannah-heartstrings @lizzie-tempest @robanilla @thebeckster and anyone else that would like to have a go 💚