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ramblingguy54 · 3 years ago

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Sonic & Tails R: A Love Letter To Miles Tails Prower’s Characterization

Warning: This will contain massive spoilers for the short radio play series of Sonic & Tails R. If you haven’t listened to the radio play yet on Youtube, I’d highly recommend any hardcore Sonic fan who hasn’t seen it check it out. It’s one Hell of a treat.

For as far back as I can remember in my childhood, Tails’ story of trying to step outta Sonic’s shadow has been such a resonating one for myself. Even when I was a much younger kid playing my Dreamcast, during entries like Sonic Adventure 1 & 2, there was some idea lingering about why Tails just stood out more emotionally in his journey to grow beyond depending on Sonic all the time for help. Now here I am a young adult in my late twenties having such a deeper appreciation of this little two tailed genius kiddo because he’s got an important element that’s made him so beloved for good reason.

In spite of his genius being a rival to that of Eggman’s high IQ and of course proving to surpass it plenty of times when scenarios boil down to being a high stakes battle, Miles Tails Prower beneath it all is still just like any one of us. We’re all trying to find our place in this world about what defines us for who we are as unique people. He wants to be more than just seen as someone who’s alongside Sonic The Hedgehog’s never say die attitude, but prove he’s plenty capable of standing on his own two feet to protect everything the kid holds dear to himself. Underdog stories, when they’re naturally executed very well, can reel me in so easily. They are very much my bread & butter trope I adore seeing.

To no one’s surprise, the two Sonic Adventure’s iterations portrayal of Tails’ characterization are hands down some of my favorite writing for the two tailed fox, regarding what the 3D era has done toward him, development wise. It gave him more of an existential struggle to endure like, “What happens when Sonic isn’t around to help stop Eggman? What if I’m not strong enough to accomplish what he can?”, making Tails plight to be seen as an equal all the more endearing when stopping Eggman in his climatic battle against the Egg Walker in Station Square. This here is a great use of a timeless lesson you can apply in life that if you set you heart and mind on anything, there isn’t a thing you can’t accomplish on your own, which is why many fell in love with Sonic Adventure 1 & 2′s writing for Miles Tails Prower’s journey of independence.

As someone who comes from a large family tree of relatives, I feel the weight of my existence on my shoulders at a number of points more than I’d care to count, admittedly. Seeing Tails struggle with his sense of purpose, in contrast to observing how much Sonic has accomplished with his carefree, yet deeply compassionate attitude, means the world to me in watching another trying to comprehend their value as a whole on how much they matter, overall. This is a big part of why my fondness for SA1 & 2′s quality has never wavered over these years, besides still obviously enjoying most of their game play mechanics. People can try to debate to their heart’s content on whether the Adventure games still hold up in their own eyes, but I’ll always respect them for how they tried to develop certain characters, such as Tails, Gamma, and Shadow The Hedgehog notably, to attempt expanding upon their characters, as well as world building.

I won’t bother going into a rant about how Sonic’s recent 3D games have butchered Tails’ personality & relatable nature, due to the current writers in charge of handling the cast of characters. More or less, I greatly empathize toward the notion many have already stated about Tails being so cowardly and God forbid, looking at Lost World, downright severely mean spirited. Rather, I’m obviously writing this lengthy post to breakdown why Sonic & Tails R succeeds, where these certain 3D games have greatly faltered in exploring Tails’ emotional dilemmas as an insecure, yet still having the courage to prove himself, talented boy full of hidden potential he doesn’t quite realize, until his back is against the wall in life threatening situations.

“That day, I realized I couldn’t depend on you forever. Not that I can’t depend on you, but like, “What happens when Sonic isn’t here?”, you know?”

Sonic & Tails R further delves into this fundamental rule of what has defined Tails in Sonic Adventure 1 & 2′s stories of events where Sonic wasn’t there to aid his best bud in taking down Eggman’s evil efforts for global domination, most importantly his fear of defending the Earth without his role model. Besides what I already stated in SA1′s events in Station where he stopped the Egg Walker, as well as the missile Eggman launched from detonating before their climatic battle, Tails watched Sonic blow up in ARK’s capsule presuming him to be dead after Sonic imparted how much faith he has in the kid’s abilities to be truly strong in the face of any foe. Sonic & Tails R manages to use fan service in a way that doesn’t feel like “pandering” for the sake of it, using this past canon material to do more of an in-depth study about Miles’ anxieties of existing without Sonic.

Wouldn’t put it past them if EmuEmi & crew were using SA2′s Sonic death fake out scene in that space capsule to further add trauma to Tails’ psychological attachment to Sonic, as well as his insecurities of depending on him too much, to boot. While it’s never obviously outright stated in their radio play, I definitely believe they were factoring this element into adding dramatic exploration for why Tails is so self-conscious about the worst case scenario of permanently losing Sonic. Watching Sonic supposedly die put Tails into a deeper state of self-reflection, so I very much enjoyed how they went using these past events to create a thorough exploration about him learning just as it’s important to realize you need to stand up for yourself without using someone else as a crutch all the time, it’s doubly important to remember there’s nothing wrong about asking someone for help when you’re about to be down and out with little options left.

Sonic & Tails R beautifully builds upon the foundation these two games’ stories left behind years ago, creating new damn great material to explore with the most iconic characters of this cast, Sonic & Tails brotherly dynamic. I’ve been praising Sonic & Tails R out the wazoo for how well it captured Tails underdog story of overcoming death defying odds, but it managed to remind me how simply adorable and outright wonderfully endearing their brotherly chemistry is as a whole. This is a big friendly reminder Sonic isn’t all about being cocky wise cracking character making meta jokes left and right, but he can be plenty capable of showing serious compassion to anyone he values as an ally and friend. This is no greater evident, than with him verbally lifting Tails up in his time of need when he’s self-depreciating his own significance. It can be seen in Episodes 2, 4, and 7 giving Tails motivational pieces of advice.

Episode 2 In Adabat’s Cavern

-Sonic: Wasn’t it your radar that helped us find these Emerald shards in the first place? How could you be slowing us down when you’ve gotten us this far?

-Tails: But, I...

-Sonic: I could never make something like that. You’re the smartest person I know, Tails. One way or another, we’ll figure this out, count on it.

Episode 4 In Holoska After Helping Silver Save The Chao

-Sonic: So, what was that back there? At the cave, in Adabat? -Tails: What do you mean? -Sonic: Frozen stiff. Confidence shot. It’s not like you. It was more than feeling like you were “slowing us down”, right?

Episode 7 Inside The Egg Carrier 3

-Sonic: Let’s split up! I’ll distract them and you can go after the energy source. -Tails: You’re gonna take them on all by yourself!? Let me help, Sonic! -Sonic: No time for this, Tails. Stop overthinking and just go! If I can get their attention, I’ll take the heat off of you and that room you’re going to probably won’t have any security. Take this emerald and I’ll take the other one we have. It’ll lead me right to you after I beat these guys. -Tails: O-Okay... -Sonic: Hold on, Tails! Listen to me. Don’t stop moving and be careful. I’ll be fine and so will you!

Sonic & Tails R remembers the most crucial detail of their important relationship. One isn’t better than the other and needing to always rely upon that notion for helping one outta a jam, but instead showcases how they’re equals as a team/bros. Sonic may be super fast and strong, however Tails has his intelligence to analyze situations in a different angle Sonic wouldn’t necessarily consider, per say. Which isn’t to say Tails couldn’t put up a fight either, as we’ve seen in SA1 & SA2′s stories where he faced Eggman one on one with no outside help to best him at his own game of wits & strength.

We get see the apex of this idea through Tails facing Eggman in his super improved mecha walker. Although Tails may get thrown for a loop here at first by Eggman, it’s his villainous speech about winners and losers in their world that ironically does the exact opposite of what he intended. Eggman wanted to crush Tails’ sense of self worth before finishing him off, but all it did was reignite the very lesson Sonic told him earlier before running to distract Eggman’s robotic minions. That said lesson of he’s more than capable of facing dangerous threats

-Eggman: Poor boy. We all have to learn this lesson, sooner or later. In every game there’s no one you can depend on. You’re all alone and you’re either a winner, or a loser. And as you know, loser’s lose all of their lives. Say goodbye, fox!

-Tails: You’re wrong! I can depend Sonic! I won’t let him down! I can’t because...Because he’s depending on me! And because of that I won’t lose to you!

This radio play strikes a good balance in utilizing the grey moral area about depending on someone vs it being an unhealthy display of attachment derived from serious insecurity. Word’s can’t begin to describe how much I loved this moment to pieces because it’s oh so important for writing Tails’ characterization. If you’re going to tackle him being super self conscious about his reliance on Sonic, then you gotta remember why they are so close to one another to begin with. Sonic & Tails have an unbreakable connection, considering they’ve brought out their best qualities in themselves from being together as individuals. For Sonic, it’s his older brother compassion to Tails to bring him outta feeling melancholy. For Tails, the kid finally understands there isn’t anything wrong with depending on Sonic when he needs it most.

After all, that’s what a real healthy friendship is all about. Whether you’re giving someone a dose of tough love, or simply a piece of motivational advice, it defines how much you truly care about someone, period. Sonic & Tails have this very same power from their bond, which is why new emeralds form from their compassionate friendship that hasn’t been shaken after all the years they’ve been together. Another detail worth noting is it adds to the lore in an impactful manner when Tikal expresses in Episode 8 about positive connections and thoughts from users of the Chaos Emeralds having a strong will & heart. Using the ideas they had for encapsulating Sonic & Tails’ dynamic to create new emeralds from their love for each other as brothers adds an emotional weight.

“So, Sonic’s not the only one who harness the power of the Chaos Emeralds? I can too!?”

“Yes, you have a strong heart! There is a power waiting to be unlocked within you, as well.”

I’d always daydreamed about in my childhood seeing Super Sonic & Tails take down a threatening villain, whether it was Eggman or different powerful creature such as Chaos or the Biolizard. You can imagine how fucking giddy I was beyond belief to see this artwork of Episode 9′s cover for the radio play. Tails not only got to have another one on one with Eggman, but a team up with Super Sonic in his own respective Super form? Sign me the Hell up! Talk about an all you eat buffet of good writing for Tails’ journey reaching its climax. Getting to hear this play out, alongside the amazing song of Fly With Me, made it authentically feel like something straight outta if there were an installment of Sonic Adventure 3 being brought into reality, which certainly feels like it now.

Episode 9 has so much awesome stuff with Sonic & Tails working together in their super forms. Particularly, my favorite scene is at the beginning when Sonic teaches Tails how to navigate his newly acquired speed in his respective Super form. My heart melted hearing Sonic help Tails through it all, while he was overjoyed about how fun this new form is for himself. Wholesome Sonic & Tails content is the perfect daily serotonin for me, easily. It’s an awesome fun fact to know they used a scrapped boss from Tails Tornado segment in SA1 for Eggman’s flying dragon three headed robot in their big final battle, once again using old canon material in a very effective manner to boost the quality of their fan made story.

It’s been a real thrill to hear Mike Pollock play a straight forward serious Eggman making my day in more ways than one, considering that’s another thing I’ve been yearning for desperately besides Tails being a competent character again. His performance in Episode 9 when Eggman gave that speech about how long he’s been at odds with Sonic & Tails stubborn will power was simply excellent. The moment he told his mechanical dragon to crush them I got serious chills. That’s the Eggman I remember and grew up with. He could be a hammy villain sure, but Eggman wasn’t a doormat that could be swiftly beaten. Robotnik can be considered a serious threat in his own right and this radio play nailed it down to the very letter with how much he predicted their actions.

“Sonic, all I ever wanted to do was be like you. You’re not scared of anyone or anything. I could never be like that. At least, so I thought. I grew from that, but then I got so caught up in trying to prove it that thought it wasn’t okay to depend upon anyone, especially you. I just didn’t want to be that scared little kid in Station Square anymore, but now I understand. It’s okay to depend on your friends. It all means is that we’re stronger together, so the next time Eggman comes back and wants to start any trouble with you, or any of my friends. Emeralds or no emeralds, he’s gonna have to get past me and he won’t!”

Sonic By Episode 1′s End: Aww, yeah! Adventure, here we come!

Tails By Episode 10′s End: Aww, yeah! Adventure, here I come!

Turn your thoughts into power. Be all that you can be.

The ending legit got me choked up because what of they decided to do for wrapping up Tails journey in a poetic fashion. Having Tails go off on his own separate journey to grow more independence pulled on my heart strings perfectly. Very much so, as I’m transitioning slowly, but surely, into gaining more freedom to go out into the outside world in my own life. Concluding the story, by Sonic & Tails holding onto the two Emeralds their bond had formed from positive energy, due to their powerful friendship, was so heartwarming. This is how you write an overview of what makes Sonic & Tails chemistry work so well as it does.

Sonic & Tails R’s ending represents while some things never change, like Sonic and Tails bond for each other, it also shows there’s very much a necessity for people to grow, hence Tails’ whole solo journey in the epilogue. People can’t stay in the same place forever and will need go about finding their own path, even if it means saying “goodbye” periodically for a notable amount of time.

It’s for these reasons I’ve listed in great explanation above throughout this detailed post cement Sonic & Tails R high on my list of favorite Sonic fan projects. They captured the magic of what made the Adventure games so beloved. Gonna be looking back on this passion project for many years to come. Everyone involved in this year long effort of a project dating all the way back Summer of 2020 ought to be immensely proud for how much their hard efforts paid off in the long run.

Thanks for taking the time to read my thoughts here!

Hope you enjoyed.

#sonic and tails r #emuemi #sonic the hedgehog #miles tails prower #sonic analysis #long post #dr eggman #sonic adventure #sonic adventure 2 #this fan project means so much to me #everyone poured their heart and soul into it

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lovejustforaday · 4 years ago

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Sonic Youth Albums Ranked (Part 3)

6. Sister (1987)

Main Genres: Noise Rock, Alternative Rock, Post-Punk

A decent sampling of: Experimental Rock

This is the first LP in the Sonic Youth discography accessible enough to be labelled a true ‘Alternative Rock’ record. It’s still rough around the edges, but Sister is full of catchy hooks and thrilling guitar sounds. I feel like this record and Daydream Nation probably went on to spawn at least 200 new alternative rock bands by the time the 90s came around (not that I was there to see it or anything, just speculation).

Sister deserves a lot of credit for solidifying on tracks like “Catholic Block” and “Stereo Sanctity” what would become the dominant formula for the band’s sound throughout most of the rest of their discography. I think that's part of the reason why this is Sonic Youth’s second most acclaimed and beloved record. Perhaps some fans would even be downright offended that I only put this at #6 on the list, but trust me when I say that this is only because the band has made so many fantastic records. In fact, for most bands, this would easily be their greatest record.

I can still remember the first time I heard the opening to “Schizophrenia”, I had never heard anything quite like it. The guitars sound upbeat yet worn out and dejected, making me feel isolated and almost spiritually weak when I listen to this track, yet somehow also comforted. The song is partially inspired by Kim’s older brother who has schizophrenia, though the roles are reversed in this song with a brother whose sister is schizophrenic. It’s a deeply fascinating and memorable piece, and I can see why many fans consider this to be a top five Sonic Youth track.

Most of the rest of Sister is very scratchy and punkish with some very tight guitar work, like “Catholic Block” which boasts one of my favourite melodic riffs in the Sonic Youth canon. There’s also “Hot Wire My Heart”, another major highlight and a cover of the obscure British punk band Crime, where Sonic Youth takes their song and upgrades the guitars and drums while also adding a bold wall of feedback at the end.

Then there’s “Pacific Coast Highway”, a completely sickening song and one of Kim’s very finest moments as a lyricist and vocalist. This haunting noise rock jumble tells the story of either a unhinged stranger, or perhaps a resentful ex-lover, who is obsessively catcalling the listener from their car, with the not-so-subtle implication that you’re all by yourself somewhere and that this person intends to harm you. I have no idea if this was written about a personal experience, but I do know from listening to their voices that this is something many women have either gone through or live in perpetual fear of. Seriously fucked up stuff, but also one of Sonic Youth’s very best tracks.

"Cotton Crown” is an odd one out in the Sonic Youth discography; an uncharacteristically sincere but still off-kilter love song that Kim and Thurston sing as a duet. Their voices are a bit out of tune with each other, but i think that honestly fits the Sonic Youth aesthetic and it’s sweet in its own quirky way, although very bittersweet decades later with hindsight about the fate of their relationship. Sort of a noise rock lullaby almost, maybe even with hints of early shoegaze.

Sister does a really good job of taking the seemingly juxtaposing ideas of the ‘fun’ and the ‘grotesque’ and fuses them together. This album is both largely exciting and still somehow alienating and depressive. It’s textbook Sonic Youth, really. I will say that the best tracks are clustered together with a noticeably weaker middle portion, but really this is still a consistently great record throughout. Altogether, Sister is one of the many entries in the band’s discography from 1986 through 1990 where Sonic Youth could basically do no wrong. A classic record.

9/10

highlights: “Pacific Coast Highway”, “Schizophrenia”, ‘Catholic Block”, “Cotton Crown”, “Hot Wire My Heart”, “Beauty Lies in the Eye”

5. A Thousand Leaves (1998)

Main Genres: Noise Rock, Experimental Rock

A decent sampling of: Alternative Rock, Post-Rock, Neo-Psychedelia

I’m just gonna say this now: A Thousand Leaves is by far Sonic Youth’s most underrated record. It’s also the last truly amazing record that the band ever put out. Maybe it’s just the bizarre choice of an album cover that turns people off of this LP. Really, what the hell were they going for here with the minimalist hamster vibes? The beautiful title really suggests something a lot more visually stunning.

In all seriousness though, I feel like nobody talks about this one because it’s overshadowed by its predecessor Washing Machine, but if there’s one area that this record exceeds above all other Sonic Youth LPs, it’s that it perfectly captures that mellow feeling that the later Sonic Youth albums were inclined towards. Not a lot of Sonic Youth records put me at ease like this one does.

Likewise, this is maybe the most ‘feel-good’ record in their discography along with Murray Street. But where Muray Street is something you could put on in the background and enjoy pretty modestly, A Thousand Leaves is a largely experimental, out-of-body experience that pulls you into its surreal, flowery, evergreen world.

“Contre Le Sexism” is a perfect opener for this kind of record; this quiet daze of a waking dream is both dainty and delirious, alluding to Alice in Wonderland with Kim’s vocals never before sounding so gentle and bright. I swear I start to hear a door creak at the end. Maybe that’s the sound of stepping out into the rest of A Thousand Leaves.

What follows immediately after is “Sunday” which is actually one of the band’s poppiest moments, making it somewhat of an outlier on this highly avant-garde and immersive record. But the warm spring vibes of the melody fits right in. The wall of sound introduced during the bridge is a soft mesmerizing bliss more akin to a band like My Bloody Valentine, if not for the tiny distant screeches of atonality whirling around here and there. As a big fan of both bands, I’m all for this kind of sound.

“Wildflower Soul” is easily one of the best things Sonic Youth has ever written. Endless amounts of creativity are poured into this nine minute noise rock acrobatics performance along with a lyrical ode to love, nature, and childhood. The vibes of this one are really quite jaw-dropping given the fact that these are the same guys who wrote “Schizophrenia” and “Death Valley ‘69″. There’s such unison and harmony in the band’s performance here as they switch between different bpm and even time signatures, and the usage of the heavy phaser effect towards the end sounds nothing short of godlike. "Wildflower Soul” almost feels like an entire album experience in one song, and I’m beyond impressed every time I listen to it.

This makes for a hard act to follow, but A Thousand Leaves still has plenty of other highlights. “French Tickler” is a strange and satisfying track that switches back and forth between a playful melody and churning, stretchy distortion. “Karen Koltrane” is a murky but textured portrait of Lee Renaldo’s ex-girlfriend, who got addicted to hallucinogens and became heavily withdrawn from the rest of the world. “Snare, Girl” is a soothing spell where Thurston sounds like he’s trying to coax the listener into a never-ending slumber.

My only real complaint here is “Hits of Sunshine (For Allen Ginsberg)”, a lackadaisical jam session that sounds cool enough, but really overstays its welcome given the lack of development it achieves over its eleven minute run time. It’s a nice piece to vibe to, but it very noticeably disrupts the album’s flow. Take this one track away entirely, or even just edit it down severely, and this would probably be a 10/10 record for me.

Still, wow what a cool album. A Thousand Leaves is a great example of why I respect this band so much. Even this late into their career, Sonic Youth were willing to try so many new bizarre things while also building judiciously upon the foundations of their past work with great attention to detail. I wouldn’t recommend most people start with this one, it’s definitely a bit more challenging especially if you haven’t listened to some other really weird experimental rock records. But once you’re in the right headspace for it, it’s easy to get almost completely lost in A Thousand Leaves.

9/10

highlights: “Wildflower Soul”, “Sunday”, “French Tickler”, “Karen Koltrane”, “Snare, Girl”, “Contre Le Sexism”, “Heather Angel”

4. Goo (1990)

Main Genres: Noise Rock, Alternative Rock

A decent sampling of: Experimental Rock, Post-Punk

Goo was my very first Sonic Youth album, and I can definitely still feel some of the old teenage angst that I had at the time whenever I listen to this one. What probably adds to that feeling is the fact that this along with Daydream Nation is one of the two albums in the band’s discography that I’d say possesses a great deal of immediacy. Albums like Sister and A Thousand Leaves are a bit more subtle and they take a while to be fully digested. But this one, this one hit me like a brick wall.

Between “Tunic (Song For Karen)”, “Kool Thing”, and “Cinderella’s Big Score”, Goo is above all others the Sonic Youth record where Kim Gordon is really the star of the band, featuring not one but three of her most captivating songs. Likewise, I would also say that this is Sonic Youth’s most overtly feminist and socially conscious record.

I don’t know if anybody else feels this way, but to me the opener “Dirty Boots” really does sound like “Teen Age Riot” part 2. That’s not a bad thing of course, Sonic Youth making more songs like “Teen Age Riot” could never be a bad thing, and “Dirty Boots” is definitely one of the highlights of Goo with its massive build up of kinetic energy. That being said, I do have to say that I don’t think any song could do this particular kind of album opener better than “Teen Age Riot” already does it, but I still really do enjoy “Dirty Boots”.

“Tunic (Song For Karen)” is one of Sonic Youth’s most poetic and poignant songs. Kim’s sing-talking voice is even more solemn than usual as she takes on a surreal retelling of the final days of drummer/pop star pioneer Karen Carpenter from her perspective, highlighting the severity of her loneliness and the criminal negligence of many of the people around her who let her succumb to her eating disorder. Set to a backdrop of stark and droning alternative rock, I would say that this is possibly the band’s most depressing moment and certainly one of the biggest statements that they ever made.

A lot of the rest of Goo is actually pretty fun though. “Kool Thing” features Chuck D on guest vocals, and its a funny sarcastic take down of the subjugation of women’s voices in supposedly liberated spaces like the world of rock and hip hop, inspired by the time Kim interviewed L.L. Cool J and attempted to have a political conversation. The song mocks L.L.’s attitude towards women while also poking fun at Kim’s own self-perceived elitism. There’s also “Mote”, a sensational head rush that dissolves into noise rock weird-isms, sorta recreating the feeling of going from buzzed to totally black out.

“Mildred Pierce” is almost a practical joke but I kind of love the hell out of it anyway. A short track with lyrics consisting only of the song’s title, it starts with the band getting into a nice little riff before (without warning) bursting into a hardcore punk cacophony as Thurston screams the name over and over into the listener’s ears. Made me jump the first time I heard it.

And then there’s “Cinderella’s Big Score”. If “Schizophrenia” vaguely hinted at Kim’s estranged relationship with her older brother, then “Cinderella’s Big Score” confronts it dead on. Featuring some of the band’s most totally insane and disfigured guitar work ever, this song sounds harsh and militant, like the dawn of a nuclear cataclysm. It’s very hard to believe that Kim is 37 years old here; she reverts to sounding exactly like a hurt teenage little sister, rebelling against her childhood trauma and lashing out at her brother’s past bullying and now his cold indifference towards her.

The song grapples with some very painful emotions, but the experience is raw and cathartic. “Cinderella’s Big Score” is definitely somewhere in Sonic Youth’s top 10 tracks for me; it just doesn’t get any realer than this. Honestly, the record could’ve ended here. I like “Titanium Expose” enough as a closer, but this would’ve made a really powerful and lasting impression to end the album.

Despite that, Goo is an excellent Sonic Youth record that demonstrates just how much the band had mastered their craft after a decade of making all sorts of noises. Obviously I’m biased since it was my own first Sonic Youth record, but I really do feel like this is the very best place to start with the band. Goo is one of their more melodic and accessible offerings, but it’s also one of their most provocative records and it really captures the essence of Sonic Youth’s identity.

9/10

highlights: “Cinderella’s Big Score”, “Tunic (Song For Karen)”, “Mote”, “Kool Thing”, “Dirty Boots”, ‘Mildred Pierce”

3. EVOL (1986)

Main Genres: Noise Rock, Experimental Rock, Post-Punk

A decent sampling of: No Wave, Alternative Rock

If Bad Moon Rising was bleak and desolate, than EVOL is disturbed, uncanny, and deeply paranoid. Sonic Youth’s third record evokes the feeling of being all alone at midnight on a sketchy highway, complete with mental images of flickering street lights and looming shadowy figures. I mentioned earlier that I have to be in the right mood to enjoy Bad Moon Rising, but this record puts me in the right mood almost instantly whenever I put it on.

EVOL isn’t exactly a no wave album like their first two records. The highly experimental influence is still there, but the arrangements are starting to sound fuller and more intentional.

You could say that this LP marks somewhat of a transitional phase between Sonic Youth the no wave band and Sonic Youth the alternative rock band, and in many respects it has the best of both worlds. There’s a few catchy darker alternative rock songs here and there, sandwiched between tracks that could best be described as ‘mad scientist’ music, which altogether creates a varied and unique album experience.

“Tom Violence“ immediately establishes the tone of EVOL with crooked, scraping flashes of post-punk guitars. This track reminds me of heads hung low, bodies slouched uncomfortably, and the feeling of being completely wide awake at 2:00 am. There’s something very unfriendly that lurks beneath the dissonance of these sounds.

If “Tom Violence” is uneasy, then “Shadow of A Doubt” is an auditory nightmare, managing to capture something akin to the fear of being watched by an unknown stranger hiding in the shadows. Notes are gently plucked like icy cold fingers slowly crawling up the listener’s back while Kim whispers about murder plots and oneirophrenia. The “just a dream” lyrical motif is first uttered reassuringly, but eventually turns into a desperate plea as Kim begins to shout frantically and the music intensifies.

The album dials down the spook factor a few notches with “Starpower” and “In The Kingdom #19″. The former is an early example of Sonic Youth’s ability to combine melodic hooks with meandering chaos that would become refined on the next few LPs, while the latter features Lee’s first solo vocals (and one of his best performances) reciting a lucid, jet black vision of a car accident. Thurston threw firecrackers into the recording studio when they did Lee’s vocals on this track and you can hear it in the recording, and just like “Mildred Pierce” it really caught me off guard the first time I heard it.

“Secret Girl” is the scariest fucking thing in the whole Sonic Youth discography, and also just one of the scariest songs I’ve ever heard. It starts with a deep shuddering thud that sounds like it’s getting closer and closer. Then out of nowhere, a cassette-recording of an old detuned piano starts to play a simple, unnerving refrain while Kim offers a cryptic and uncomfortably suggestive spoken word piece. It feels like a scene that might play out in a horror film, where a television screen comes on by itself and the person on the screen begins to talk directly to the viewer.

Finally, there’s “Expressway To Yr Skull” (alternatively titled “Madonna, Sean, and Me”), which would be my #1 Sonic Youth album closer if not for the #1 album on this list. That being said, this song is still one of the biggest highlights of the band’s career. "Expressway To Yr Skull” starts off restless and spectacular, leading up to an utterly earth-shaking climax, and then it’s as if the song promptly dies, only to become a lingering undead entity that pulls you down with it. I still can’t get over how the ending really manages to sound like it’s dragging you down further and further into its barren depths.

To add to that, there’s actually a locked groove on the original vinyl release of this LP that plays the last little bit of “Expressway To Yr Skull”, meaning that if you let the needle sit there, it will forever loop that last little bit of droning at the end of the track. I really appreciate this little detail; it’s as if the pervasive darkness of EVOL is so encompassing that it could turn into a deep midnight that never ends.

EVOL is honestly so close to being a 10 for me, but just like Sister I find that it is decently weaker towards the middle. Still, I’m absolutely enamored with the atmosphere on this album. No gothic rock record has ever managed to sound so deeply unsettling to my ears like this little experimental record does. You really just have to experience this one for yourself. Honestly, don’t be surprised if in a year or two I’ve changed my mind and bumped this one to a 10.

9/10

highlights: “Expressway To Yr Skull”, “Shadow Of A Doubt”, “Tom Violence”, “Secret Girl”, “In The Kingdom #19″, “Starpower”

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emperorsfoot · 4 years ago

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After @this-is-an-error made this post about their Kevin headcanons, I was inspired to type up my own headcanons. There’s a lot of them and some of them openly conflict with each other (example: I have different headcanons about Osmosians as both aliens like in AF/UA, and as mutants like in Omniverse).

If you’d like to know my takes, click the Read More:

1. Osmosians as Aliens

1-A : Self-Control

(Kevin is an outlier and should not be counted.) Osmosians have a have rigid culture that places a heavy emphasis on self-control and personal discipline. They have a number of martial arts that are unique to Osmosians that give members of their society a physical outlet for pent-up energy, that also instills values of control and discipline.

Aggregor’s spear-fighting style is one such Osmosian martial arts. An advanced enough master in any of these martial arts can develop fine enough control that they would not lose their mind if they absorbed too much energy. Aggregor was close to achieving this master status, which is why he remained lucid and appear to be in control of himself when he was Ultimate Aggregor.

Devin Levin, before leaving Osmos V, was a student of a hand-to-hand form of Osmosian martial arts that taught energy redirection as an alternative to absorption. He also left the planet before he achieved master status.

1-B : Mating Rituals and Practices

The Osmosian power of absorption is more deeply woven into Osmosian physiology than Kevin displays. (Remember, if Osmosians are aliens, then Kevin is only half-Omsmosian and so is not a perfect example of his race.)

A mating pair will absorb a small amount of their partner’s life force. This will be an equal exchange, as they absorb from their partner, their partner is absorbing from them, so there is no danger of over absorbing and one eating the other. The sharing of energy creates a bond between Osmosians and a mating pair might be able to sense each other’s emotions even if they’re not in the same room together. Because of the very close and intimate nature of this bond, Osmosians tend to mate for life.

(If an Osmosian, or half-Osmosian were to mate with a being that already has empathic or even telepathic abilities ((such as an Anodite)), the mating pair might be able to communicate telepathically.)

2. Osmosians as Mutant Earthlings

Okay, okay, okay, so, almost 3 years ago I made this post and this post based off something Max said about aliens and folk lore in the OS. If you don’t wanna read them, let me sum-up.

According to Max, all monsters and/or non-human creatures from folk lore and mythology were actually just aliens all along. But according to Omniverse, Osmosians aren’t aliens, they’re Earthlings. But there a creature from folk lore that Kevin and his power set and character arcs resemble. גולם the golem.

For those of you that do not know, a golem is a creature from Jewish folklore. It’s a creature (usually a man) molded from clay and given life (specifically given life for the purpose of protecting the Jewish people). If left alive too long, the golem inevitably goes mad and starts rampaging through the town or community it was created to protect. The most famous one is the Golem of Prague (1800s), but there are golem stories stretching back into the 12th Century. There is even conjecture that Adam (yeah, that Adam, from the garden) is a golem as he was molded from the earth.

A golem’s powers include inhuman strength and shapeshifting, both of which are powers Kevin had.

Levin is also a Jewish name.

If Osmosians are Earthlings then they’re not some rando weird mutation that Proctor Servantis just up and discovered in Kevin. They’re Jews and they’ve been around since forever. If Adam is a golem, then that means that golem can breed, so Kevin might not be the original golem that was made from clay, but he could be a descendent of a golem that was molded from clay.

(I am Jewish and I want my favorite character to be Jewish too!)

Kevin is obviously secular, but he -and all Osmosians- are ethnically Jewish.

Servantis loses all naming rights. Fuck that guy!

3. The Future, Kevin 11000, and Devlin Levin

I have so many mixed feelings about the futures we see across the Ben 10 franchise.

I want Kevin to be a good guy

I want Kevin and Gwen to be together forever

I want Gwen to be Devlin’s bio-mom

I also want Gwen to be Devlin’s loving step-mom

Okay, so Kevin is my favorite character, of course I want him to be a hero and live a stable semi-happy life. So, ya know what, it’s a multiverse, so in one universe, he does! Kevin stays a good guy. Kevin stays a member of Ben’s Team. Kevin stays a Plumber. He and Gwen get married and have Devlin (and more kids?), and live happily ever after and nothing bad happens ever.

I also have a head canon where things are not so perfect. That one can be read on my AO3; [ HERE ]

But I also like the idea of Gwen being a healthy and nurturing step-parent to a damaged and neglected Devlin who never had a stable good parent and really needs one. Originally, in the OS, Kevin was never planned to join the good guys and Gwevin was never planned as a ship. So Gwen was not Devlin’s mother in the OS. But, she would be a great step-mom!

Also, whether you believe that Osmosians are mutants or aliens, I also have a head canon that Osmosians -any Osmosian, regardless of anatomically presenting sex, or gender identity- can reproduce asexually. All they need is to absorb from basic coding from another living organism during the right time in their reproductive cycle. You ever see that episode of Futurama where Leela gets Kiff pregnant? Like that. But in the Ben 10 art style and with more angst.

...

So, there’re my takes and headcanons. Hope you had fun.

#Kevin levin #gwevin #Kevin 11000 #Kevin 11 #ultimate kevin #weapon xi #devlin levin #devlin 11 #osmosians #aggregor #devin levin #ben 10 #golem

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carelessgraces · 4 years ago

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@valiantsword said: What made you decide to write this muse? ( questions for meeeee | accepting )

i picked astoria by chance — scrolling through the crystal reed tag & stumbling across a post for an rpg that i ended up joining, spending almost two years with, and meeting some of my best friends in the universe through. this was back in 2012, when we knew only the following about astoria:

she was married to draco malfoy.

her sister was named daphne greengrass, and daphne was in draco’s house and year. astoria was two years below him.

lucius and narcissa didn’t much like astoria because of her more liberal politics, gained through a similarly “frightening but less violent” conversion as draco’s.

draco loved his wife enough to stay married to her despite the fact that his parents ( his guides and rocks during the books ) disliked her, and the way that he and astoria raised their son.

their son was named scorpius hyperion, which was a pretty blatant break from malfoy naming practices while sticking to black naming practices ( celestial names ) and, we can imagine, greengrass naming practices ( greek mythology ).

this was pre-TCC !! there were no rules !! by which i mean i got the opportunity to write a character who had all the weight of a canon character with none of the restrictions, except for a handful of things i could use to reverse-engineer the world’s worst girl. and while, at her core, astoria hasn’t changed a lot, she’s still been pulled out of her canon almost entirely; at this point i really only write her in canon verses with a handful of people and even that’s not steady.

i decided to keep astoria, rather than just develop an original character with a new name, out of spite. jkr wanted her to be a salvific woman whose only role was to make her husband & son Good People™ and then die? now she’s a deeply impressionable and highly adaptable con woman who is more likely to be influenced into a redemption arc by Good People™ than to inspire any goodness herself. now, she’s a powerhouse of a witch determined to find immortality. she was a side character whose death is required for the canon she exists in to function? now she’s the main character of dragon age: inquisition, the literal most important person in the entire world, and the savior of the planet.

jkr wants astoria to be nice? lmao. i love villains & terrible women — astoria was initially designed around the concept of ‘weaponized femininity’ and all the ways that fails !! she’s violent and vicious and cruel, and the fact that she’s a woman / that she suffered at the hands of men doesn’t excuse her for the terrible choices she makes. any goodness is something she has to work for, and work hard for; she doesn’t just get to skate on the mention of a tragic backstory. she’s a character i find extremely interesting, and one i enjoy too much in collaborative settings to want to write about in original fiction, so !! when, a year ago, i thought about whether or not i was happy with astoria and realized i wasn’t, i decided to keep writing her out of emotional attachment to the time & energy devoted to her ( eight years, baby !! ) but also out of sheer fucking spite.

#valiantsword #iv. tilting pretty sharply bitchward. ( marianning )#(astoria's not even a hp character at this point and i've thought more than once abt dropping all her canon interactions)#(i decided against it mostly bc i like what i've developed w/ a handful of friends? but i'm happiest when she's mine & far from hp)

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starksinthenorth · 4 years ago

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...

I’ve been pretty absent from Tumblr and AO3 over the last month or so. In that time I: moved back to the city my school is in from where my parents live, started a new job, dealt with my city’s race riots/protests happening right outside my building (the stores on the first floor got broken into two nights in a row and a neighbor got maced by a cop while watching from their balcony, a friend got arrested for violating curfew - and that’s just a few things that happened), and started a new job. I live alone with a cat and dealing with the emotional isolation from friends and family has been more draining than I anticipated. My apologies for not responding, but with all the personal shit I just did not have the emotional energy to deal with ship wars and people’s adamant defenses of their faves.

This post is an address to a series of comments on my fic, Brave, Gentle, Strong, on AO3 by someone who has (generally) been respectful until recently, when the comments got somewhat more demanding and entitled. In fairness, I did promise to answer but just did not have the emotional space to deal with this. There’s a lot in those comments, so I’ll be addressing them in chunks. Here goes.

Request to tag fic “Sansa-centric”: I’m not going to be doing this. This fic is not Sansa-centric, I have fans of J, S, and D who have all enjoyed it and are sticking around despite controversial decisions I’ve made. While it’s mostly a romantic angst fic, the political plot thus far has been wholly dedicated to Dany finding a way to get her throne. The ending will be successful in that endeavor. If you do a “find” search on the “entire work” option, Dany appears 569 times, Daenerys 153 (total = 722); Sansa 837; and Jon 732. I have a horrible habit of using epithets, and “queen” appears an additional 197 times, most of which are “the queen” or “his queen” in reference to Dany.

Advocating for Dany is encouraged, not discouraged: I never said I don’t want people to advocate for their faves. Especially since I’m still not as familiar with Dany, I don’t mind people calling out areas I’ve miswritten her. Someone mentioned that I only have Sansa and Jon reflect on Dany’s beauty and not her strength and accomplishments. That’s not entirely true, but a reread did show me I have ways to go on making that more evident. Part of the difference with her and Sansa being appreciated by the other/Jon was two-fold: 1) Sansa was coming into the already established relationship of Jonerys, and 2) Sansa gets trashed a lot more in fanfic that I’ve read. When I was mostly into Jonsa it was a few years back and writers were still kind to Dany. When I got into Jonerys fic, it was during/after S8 and the writers were absolutely TERRIBLE to Sansa. I had my reasons for making Sansa appeared loved by the other two; but it’s on my list of things to add in on edits to show ways that J and S appreciate her more than just being pretty.

The reason that comment was made was some threatening and uncomfortable comments made by Dany stans.: I got some pretty awful comments from other Dany stans and it made me very adverse to reading any comments about her because of it.

I am a fan of Dany.: I really hate having to defend myself to people just because Sansa is my fave. I wrote this fic in anticipation of the horrible things to come after 804: Who Would Ever Want to be Queen?, a decent amount of fics with D/S as the premier couple in a happy way, and even some J/S fics where she’s featured positively. I’ve also written plenty of meta, rants, and defenses of her on tumblr: book!Dany and saving Missandei; how Dany could have been pro-slavery out of bitterness and wasn’t; Jon won’t kill Dany; GRRM Does Not Want Us to Think Negatively of Daenerys in ADWD; How Dany + Sansa will meet; Way D&D Fucked Up Daenerys Targaryen #32423423; and more. Like, just because bad things are happening to a character doesn’t mean the author hates them.

This OT3 is made of characters I deeply care for. I just also really like angst. This fic is tagged heavy angst and we’re only 2/3 of the way through part 1 of 2.

OT3’s future together:

1) Dany’s first child. I’m confused why you think Dany is “unhappy” when she leaves them at King’s Landing. She’s concerned to realize she’s pregnant – she stutters through her excuses to go away before puking; Missandei describes Dany as thus: “The look on Dany’s face nearly breaks her Hand’s heart. The joy and worry mixed with so much pain. She’s already lost two children. Must she lose a third?” Dany is severely worried that this child will die and explicitly doesn’t “want to pain [Jon and Sansa] with the news” that they could lose a child. Dany is an incredibly giving, loving character, but she also has an aloofness to her. This isn’t necessarily a negative thing, but it’s something she’s dealt with in canon: “Do all gods feel so lonely? Some must, surely.” (ASOS, Dany VI). And while they’re happy, she’s still dealing with that and learning to trust her partners. That’s why she goes to Dragonstone to give birth.

2) Writing Health poly relationships: You point out “Poly relationships that are healthy, have three or more people who love and respect each other. Equally.” And that’s what I’m working towards. The problem between how we each view this is in that exact statement: I am working towards a healthy relationship. They aren’t in one yet. Everyone has some personal and plot issues to work through before they can get together. And for that to happen, various plot devices needed to occur. It is not the purposeful “destruction and misery of one [partner]” in this fic from the other partners’ POVs. It’s an authorial decision to make everyone pretty miserable before they can be triumphant. I’ve written a fair amount of angst and fics that are literally just characters suffering. It’s a dynamic I like to explore and this has been labeled Heavy Angst since the first chapter was posted, back when it was just Dany taking a nap and chatting with Sansa. If angst isn’t your thing, this isn’t the story for you. I’ve said it since the beginning. I’ve been doing reading in on this and how to write it better, but at the end of the day they aren’t a couple yet. They’re each individual parties thinking as individuals about their individual interests. They still need to realize they’re better together, and they aren’t there yet. If you want to know how that looks, checkout The Price of a Princess, a newer fic about their future as parents and rulers together.

3) Authorial plot devices do not equate abuse character behaviors. You said it was “abuse” that I had a plot device (the miscarriage) that is going to cause character and romantic development. That’s not abusive behavior. The characters are unaware of the events as they occur. A living human cannot abuse fictional characters. You might disagree with the choices I made about this plot, but it’s not abusive because only one of us is actually a person.

#/#//#///#////#/////#bgs

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rocket-bear · 5 years ago

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⭐star⭐ FOR THAT ONE ASK THING!

aaaah ty for asking!!! I’m just gonna take this opportunity to, ramble about a couple of different things so this is going to be real long I’m sorry,

First, two scenes from All-In:

When she tells him that Saikyoudai is her number one choice for university because it has the degree plans that best suit her hopes of double-majoring in child development and education, he ditches his other options and goes all-in on his own application. She’ll get in, he knows, and she does. The football team isn’t sterling– though the big fucking baldy is there, and that’s a mark in its favor– but he’s had experience with building a team from the ground up. He can make it work.

I’ve seen folks critique the idea that Mamori just follows Hiruma to Saikyoudai at the end of the series, and while there are DEF criticisms to be made about HiruMamo– tangent: I personally don’t know why I love it so much, because “male character treats everyone around him including his love interest with blatant disrespect bc the way he actually shows respect does not at all reflect anything that another human being would ever recognize” is like, usually VERY much not my jam, but meanwhile it somehow works for HiruMamo to the point that they’re one of my everlasting OTPs– to me, there’s no actual evidence that Hiruma picked Saikyoudai first (unless it’s in a guidebook or something?), so I wanted to push back on that assumption a little! Everyone that’s attending Saikyoudai is canonically very smart or very talented, so it makes just as much sense to me that they either landed on Saikyoudai together because it’s a great school, or that Mamori was actually the one to choose it and Hiruma followed her there. The only canon character on the Wizards before Hiruma joined was Banba, so while Banba is great, it’s not like the football team would have been a particular selling point for him. Hiruma’s a literal genius who could go to any school he wanted, so– yeah. Saikyoudai was Mamori’s pick, not his!

Next is the kiss scene! I’m not going to quote it because this post is already going to be long enough, but GOSH I have had that specific set-up for The Moment HiruMamo Happens in my brain literally since I was 13 but I just never actually took the time to write it into anything, and then abruptly last night it was just like, IT’S TIME. (The fact that it’s been in my mind for that long always makes me vaguely worried that it was something from another fic or a prompt that someone wrote over a decade ago and I’ve accidentally stolen it by thinking I came up with it myself so ANXIOUS BLANKET APOLOGIES, IN CASE THIS EVER HAPPENS, SOMETIMES YOU COME BACK TO A FANDOM OVER A DECADE LATER AND MEMORIES ARE HARD,)

But!!! In any case, whenever I think about HiruMamo finally happening, in my head it’s always Mamori that actually… not necessarily makes the first move, but actually approaches the conversation?? because Hiruma’s allergic to being actually, genuinely vulnerable, and jokey vaguely antagonistic flirting is one thing, but acknowledging that the Vibes are Real is a whole other thing and Mamori’s the one in that equation that’s emotionally mature enough to accept it. So in All-In, Mamori opens the door by just, legit inviting herself into Hiruma’s room, Hiruma does some flirting that could easily be brushed off if he was misreading things, and Mamori explicitly challenges him to DO IT YOU COWARD. One of my favorite dynamics for them!

FINALLY, from Kick Drum Heart– again, rather than quoting a scene I want to talk about a specific plot device, because if I let myself dig into scenes then we’re gonna be here all day. When I was first plotting KDH, the whole idea was really just Sena and Shin developing their relationship in college via Shin tutoring Sena, and I hadn’t planned for either Shin’s poetry plotline or the consistent presence of Panther in story with his mirroring romance plotline with Homer. I fleshed out Panther’s storyline because I just REALLY, REALLY wanted to include the detail of he and Sena casually hooking up in the US since it’s one of my favorite headcanons rofl, and so I wanted to expand his role to be more central to the narrative out of respect for his character and so that scene would feel more cohesive! And then for Shin’s poetry, I really wanted to find something that would allow me to explore the way ShinSena is mutually supportive, rather than limiting it to just Shin supporting/inspiring Sena. Modern fandom is MUCH better about this so shout-out to all the other wonderful writers still writing for ShinSena, but back in the day there was tendency to reduce Shin down to nothing more than Sena’s Hot Sexy Supportive Perfect Boyfriend, without really delving into the ways that Sena is also a hugely important positive influence on Shin’s life instead of it being a one-way street. (Like!!! Shin literally, canonically does not even enjoy football, the thing he devotes every single second of his time and energy to, until he loses to Sena!! Literally in canon this is true!!!!!! I HAVE A META POST IN THE WORKS ABOUT THIS,)

So, I wanted to think of something that Shin could be struggling with during the story that Sena could support him with the same way Shin was supporting him for biology. This was tricky, because Shin’s canonically a great student and Sena isn’t, so I had to think of something academic that A) Shin would struggle with in the first place, and B) Sena would actually be better at. I faffed around with ideas for a while but finally landed on literature/poetry while I was rewatching Chihayafuru for oh like the fifth time, due to the scene where Chihaya’s summer homework is to write some original poems and some of them are extremely silly (“I FEAST UPON A WHIRLWIND OF ICE CREAM…”) and some of them are accidental beautiful love poems about her love interest. I thought that would be perfect for Shin, who tends to approach things in overly clinical/literal terms and struggles to openly express his more positive feelings, and while Sena’s not a poetry buff, I figured he would at least be able to help Shin rework things to sound more expressive and less clinical! This in turn then set up the entire climax of the story with Shin sharing the theme of his poetry collection with Sena, so I’m soooo glad that I landed on that idea because it really made the whole story come together. (SO LIKE, EVERYONE SHOULD PAY RESPECTS AND GO WATCH CHIHAYAFURU, IT’S AN AMAZING SHOW)

Shin’s poems went through a lot of drafts of mostly small tweaks to change wording or slightly adjust a metaphor, but as a bonus, one that I didn’t end up using at all was [Bradycardia, / until you appear ahead. / My pulse comes alive.] I thought the idea of Shin trying to use the word “bradycardia” in a love poem was hysterical, but then the rest of it was like, actually deeply romantic, and too similar in theme to [Muscles atrophy. / You appear along with spring, / Promising new growth.], so I scrapped it.

my god that’s so much more than you asked for sorry about the wall of text BUT I HOPE YOU ENJOY???????

#meta #kick drum heart #all-in #shin #hiruma #mamori #sena #sestet

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saltine-kakyoin · 5 years ago

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🎶 and jotaro and also kakyoin AND another character..whoever u want ;)

oho… you’ve sent me another message? you know what comes next bro, u brought this upon yourself….this is us now man

anyhow, AH. thos boys…god this one is gonna be so difficult because I have So Many Songs that are tied to them. as for the other character, i think i will do my boy sergio because i really need to share my brainstorming songs for him before i explode! :0 thank you again for sending these in, bro!! have a good night, ily! c:

this will be long bc i always ramble..i will be tagging this as long post for mobile gang!

Jotaro:

thom- i hate to start this off with a jotakak-themed song because i know some people Despise jk. i’m sorry for y’all who do, but ahh this song has been stuck in my head for days now! :’( In terms of the SDA, i always think of this song as like…jotaro’s bittersweet journey w his feelings for kak. it’s something about the like, ghostly windchimes in the beginning, the phone buzzing in the bg, and the “please don’t run away”s man, ahhh. I listen to this song a lot when brainstorming him coming to accept that friendship is as far as he and kak go. However,“ The pitter patter gave a rather rinse and lather feeling/ As opposed to shitty attitudes that made me bitter after laughter/ And I dearly regretted it” really makes me think of pt. 4 jotaro in any context. We only see the end result of his development from SDC, but like hhh… do you think he regrets being so gruff? I think of that 1 fanart where he’s looking at the group picture + hoping they knew he wasn’t annoyed by them (or something along those lines, i forget the exact line…ahh)

something’s missing- So, ofc not all parts of this song apply.. and truthfully, I listen to this song while thinking of the immediate period after the crusade in the SDA and how the crusaders are all left with this hole in them (..@kakyoin literally.. i’m sorry i had to. also, abdul is the hole). Out of all of them, though, I always think of Jotaro the most w this song- “My dad asks, ‘Were you okay out where you were stranded?’ How do I tell him that I wasn’t just okay… I was so much better?” LIKE DAMN THAT IS ONE (1) KUJO JOTARO… :( i think he comes back from the crusade and just feels.. severely misplaced. Going back to Japan and the girls following him to school every morning feels so alien to him.

tempest rhapsody- this song is just… *chef kiss* It makes me think of like. star platinum’s first manifestation, and of the emotions one would feel during a 50-day crusade to a place you’ve never been before, where you run the risk of death at least once a week…how would it feel to know if you got seriously injured in a fight, there would be a very real possibility that your *cough* dearly beloved *cough* mother could die? this song is my answer to that question

only in sleep- another choir song! i cannot help myself. This one is more for canon Jotaro. I’ve read a few fics about the universe reset where he’s reunited with the other crusaders one last time before everything becomes nil, and…..augh. “The years had not sharpened their smooth round faces, I met their eyes and found them mild — Do they, too, dream of me, I wonder, And for them am I too a child?“ is imo such a jotaro 4 am deliberation

softly- THIS. this was the Original jotakak song, no offense thom. i used to listen to this song on REPEAT while reading nessun dorma, ahhh. so much of the sda jotakak dynamic is shaped from that fic and this song, hghshg. Anyhow, now that I’ve worked on the development of their relationship in the sda, this song is most definitely a song for the jotaro who unknowingly pines in 3rd year and then comes to realize that ah…these are Emotions during uni. during their third year, jotaro and kakyoin do a ton of self-exploration, and spend more than one night floating in the pitch black void of the ocean talking about what they’re going to do after graduation with only the stars to accompany them. they lose this when jotaro goes to florida for uni + kakyoin paris, but they make up for it by calling each other all the time, so “Touch you softly I call you up late at night” made this song an instant hit in my book ghshghw. I adore this song, through and through. ;u;

post-published honorable mention bc i rediscovered him while i was workin on polnareff’s playlist!! DOLLY ZOOM is another really good song for pining jotaro. in the sda, he feels really Horrible about having a crush on kakyoin for a long time because he and his family (that is phrased weird, i am sorry) are the entire reason kakyoin got a hole punched right through his abdomen and spine. they’re the entire reason kakyoin spent months learning how to walk and use his legs again. he doesn’t do anything except bury his feelings because, to him, it’d be Really selfish to do otherwise. i listened to dolly zoom nonstop when i started writing Jotaro’s Decade-Long Yearn because it captures the guilt really well, ahh.

Kakyoin (it is 1:24 am as i’m starting this… let’s see how long i agonize over this part lmao)

ultraviolence- ahh, ze Mindworm Song. I really despise diokak and the fact that he had to spend like…3-4 months with the mindworm just chilling in his brain, but I can’t ignore the fact that he latched onto dio’s friendship and was initially elated to have that whole thing happen. It haunts Kakyoin in canon, and it Most Definitely haunts him in the SDA, and i think he and jotaro have a lot of conversations about how and why and what that whole experience was like. I always end up coming back to this song when brainstorming this year in the au. The beginning just sounds so lonely, and the background choir/ voices really give me the heebie jeebies. Then, there’s the build-up to the beat drop, which really make me think of like. what being mindwormed could feel like? And how it must feel to be so lost in that sauce that you become a passenger in your own mind, lost to the whim of one super manipulative vampire, augh. “You give me love, you know you give me love with your ultraviolet rays” ties into a few of FKA Twigs’ other songs where she sings about not being enough and really obsessively deriving love from someone whose attention is ultimately really harmful and unhealthy, and I think about that and Kakyoin a lot. :(

sound and color- so truthfully, this is my go-to song for any character that dies/almost dies and comes back, or goes through a Huge Life Change. kakyoin fits both of these bills to a T! this song makes me think of getting used to being around such a rowdy but tight-knit group of people who genuinely care about you All Day Long after spending your entire life in isolation. I always think of like, a happiness montage when the second half of this song comes around, and the montage i daydream about for kak during that section is *chef kiss* Sound + Color is like one of the best songs ever, and it’d be a crime to not have a kak setting for it.

first love/late spring- fellas, here’s the kakyoin equivalent to jotaro’s softly. this song was IT, back when the sergio-divergent au and the “All the Crusaders Live” au were two separate things. back then, kakyoin and jotaro’s realization that oh, fuck, they really meant the entire world to each other happened much earlier in the plot. Looking back on that now makes me squint, but I do think that this song is still really fitting for kakyoin exploring those feelings- friendship is one thing, but romance is something entirely different and a lot more intimate. i think it’s a tug-of-war for him, between wanting to jump in to those feelings and wanting to run far far away from them because he doesn’t want to be wrong and ruin their friendship. good times in the kak hole

last words of a shooting star- I really love the bastard fucker side of kakyoin that is explored and celebrated in our fanon, but I can never shake the fact that some of his last thoughts were of his parents (and i think he was sorry for making them worry? which… baby…) and that his polite, “outwardly anxious” presentation was this big facade for like.. the Deep and Soul-Wrenching loneliness he felt because he was a stand user? The first stanza and “They’ll never know how I’d stared at the dark in that room/ With no thoughts” make me think of kakyoin deeply- if his family had never gone to egypt and he’d never met dio or jotaro, what would have happened to him? Who would he be? i’ve always been super attached to that part of kak bc fundamentally… I Relate. but also i am just fond of it because it makes me sob- he deserved so much better than to get murdered by the same man who manipulated his entire identity right at the climax of his character arc….some crimes can never be forgiven, hirohiko….

vertigo- i don’t listen to this song for kak often, but it is a Quintessential Kakyoin song. according to khalid’s twitter, vertigo is a song about “Overcoming overthinking. After every dark days, there’s a brighter outcome. Being at a super low place in your life and realizing that, there’s other people going through that same path you’re walking down. There’s always light at the end of the tunnel. It’s also a story about fear of abandonment.” which….Big Kakyoin Energies. The “Are we alive?Or are we dreaming?” part also ties back into the Kakyoin Parties in a Coma for a Month arc- your mind has a wild wild time when you’re in a medically induced coma, theoretically because it’s trying to fill in the blanks for all of the stuff you’re sensing? And coming out of a medically induced coma is a bizarre experience, where it’s hard to tell if you’re still in the coma and just imagining things or if you’re actually awake. Kakyoin has a mad time in the month immediately after SDC, one that i’m sure he doesn’t enjoy too much after the death 13 fight.

honorable mention goes to i am not yours- this has been a kak song to me for a long time as well. the context of the song is way different from my interpretation for this setting, but AH. I just think kakyoin really struggles to differentiate and understand romantic feelings. This song really reminds me of that struggle, and I think also touches nicely on like. the identity issue of it all too.. “yet i am i, who long to be” yanno? ; J ; it’s hard for me to explain

another honorable mention, my statue sinking. in the sda, after the events in egpyt, kakyoin is thrown into a coma for like an entire month while his body gets operated back together, and then he spends months in physical therapy learning how to walk w a prosthetic spine (kudos to cyborg speedwagon being a reverse engineering madman :D). i like to imagine that there’s also some degree of therapy going on this whole time, also. you don’t just get donuted + thrown into a coma for a month without some counseling to get you back on your feet..i think the lasting effects of dio’s influence are addressed here, but only briefly because it’s not something kakyoin is eager to explore. however, I think that this song captures the like... distress? i guess? of knowing that your life has been irreparably thrown off course because of dio. like yes, you met some really wonderful people that helped you learn how deeply healing friendship could be! but also.. you lost months of your life to mind control, and then another month to a coma, and then additional months to training your body to function again....there’s some psychological stress there. While I think that Jotaro and Polnareff are affected the most by the crusade, I think they all emerge from it with some degree of ptsd. Being targeted by complete strangers at all times of day cannot be good for your mental health, you know? Anyhow, I think My Statue Sinking captures that aftermath feeling really well. Everyone survives and recovers from the crusade, but there’s a part in all of them that is lost to Egypt.

on to sergio!! (it is now 2:04 am lmaooooooo) sergio will be easy because I only ever listen to the same handful of songs when I’m writing him hdhgh

i will come to you- this is THE sergio song. i think of this song every time i write about him, whether it’s the “believe in me…” “also believe in me” lyric exchange that i imagine he has with both tomoko and holly; the “and i will pray to my father…my father…and he will abide” part being about him reaching out to joseph with his final breaths and spilling all of the beans about dio and begging him to finish things so that Tomoko and Josuke, the Kujos, and he and Suzi can be safe; the “foreeever……foreee-eever.. forever..” part being where he dies and his soul passes into the next realm.. “even the spirit of truth [golden prophet] whom the world [..yeah..] cannot receive, because it seeth him not [bc suad defects and buries sergio instead of bringing his dead body to dio]. Neither knoweth him, but you know him…for he dwelleth in you and he shall be in you [literally the entire joestar/kujo/higashikata family being so near and dear to him + his spirit being with them even after death]” and then, like.. george i, jonathan, and george ii coming to retrieve his soul during the “heeeee shallll beee in youuu” part… “i will not leave you comfortless. i Will Not leave.. You Comfortless… iiii wiiiill come…. to you.. to You” part being about his soul mingling within star platinum and crazy diamond because he has a Need, even in death, to protect them. UGH (also his essence being especially prevalent in crazy diamond, which is partially why its power is to repair things!! bc hamon! ; O ;) literally I have an Entire music video with sergio’s death set to this music. i’ve listened to it way too many times.

when david heard- so to be frank this is actually more of a joseph song, but it’s only a joseph song when sergio exists + gets murdered. :o i cried the first time i listened to this, and then months later i listened to it while thinking of sergio + like. sobbed fr fr. Joseph is asleep when Sergio calls him, so he gets sergio’s final message as a voicemail on his answering machine hours after the fact. the message itself is chilling because Joseph had no clue his son had gone on this huge mission by himself to kill Dio, and now he’s dead! however, it’s made even worse because Joseph wasn’t there to pick the call up and comfort his son in his dying breaths or do Anything. it’s just like Caesar, which is. god awful. it’s such a horrible realization because sergio, whom joseph named after what caesar wanted to name his own son, has been condemned to the same fate as his namesake. Thus this song- i’ve yet to come across a song that captures the feeling of hearing that kind of news so well. (also when i tag things as my sOOOOON or *cries my son in 8-part harmony a la whitacre*, this is the song i’m referencing :D)

zombies / terrified- ahhh, these songs capture the HORROR sergio feels upon sensing dio’s presence in Japan really well. (also “I’m going to eat you alive/please don’t find me rude, but i don’t eat fast food/ so don’t run too fast” is SUCH a dio mood…) Sergio maintains his composure about the Dio Dilemma for a good year before he flies off the handle, and his entire proto-crusade against the vampire is just. Laced with paranoia, even if he is learning a ton of useful skills. These two songs capture that feeling of something constantly watching/creeping up on you so well, and ever since i discovered them, I’ve listened to them for Sergio inspo.

the prophet- This is the only song I’ve done so far that the characters would actually listen to lmao. Sergio is a Huge fan of The Temptations, and his stand is actually named after this song! (+ the esoteric title for the hermit, which was really amazing luck on my end ; J ;) it also had a huge hand in figuring out what his stand power would be, the lyric that decided it was “God doesn’t listen to the words you pray; he hears what your heart has got to say.” However, the entire last stanza of the song ties really well into his character arc fhshgh. Also, this song just feels like it could Be the child of Bloody Stream, if that makes any sense. it’s so groovy and funky, but the lyrics are like big ominous lmao. I was super ecstatic to find this song- if sergio were to ever get an animation, this song would be the OP, yanno?

armageddon- This is another “this song would be on their personal playlist” song. Sergio’s got a lot of love for all styles of music in his heart, but jazz is his home base and always what he comes back to. I like to imagine that Lisa Lisa’s husband introduces Sergio to Wayne Shorter’s music at the age of like 8 or 9, and Sergio’s just. obsessed with the man’s music for the rest of his life. I really love Shorter’s explanation for the meaning of this song and its album as a whole: “What I’m trying to express here is a sense of judgment approaching - judgment for everything alive from the smallest ant to man. I know that the accepted meaning of ‘Armageddon’ is the last battle between good and evil - whatever it is. But my definition of the judgment to come is a period of total enlightenment in which we will discover what we are and why we’re here.” Like… wig.. I feel like that’s such big sergio energy. Armageddon itself also feels like a really nice ED- it’s lively, but in a good episode-ending kind of way. Do i dream of animating Sergio’s adventure one day? Mayhaps.

honorable mention goes to just my imagination/ my girl- We’ve covered that Sergio adores The Temptations, so it’s no secret that he would listen to these songs ceaselessly. however, i really like the broadway harmonies + instrumentals that they did for Ain’t Too Proud, so that’s what’s goin in here. these songs are THE tomoko/sergio songs…He loves Tomoko and the way she quips + teases + gets up to nonsense with him So Much. There’s a huge part of him that has No Idea what Tomoko sees in a music geek like him, but ughh he is so grateful that she likes him because she is a Goddess. he’s blessed yo..

#long post #i went into a deep meditative state typing this... i don't even remember typing some of this ghdhs #it is 3 am and i am BOPPING to the temptations tho so it's all good #this ask meme is so fun.. litch rally anything w music is bound to be a Good TIme #thank you for asking again!! <3 #fullmetal-the-last-alchemist

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argylemnwrites · 6 years ago

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It Couldn’t Wait Another Moment - Chapter 11

Pairing: Drake Walker x MC (Riley Liu)

Book: The Royal Romance (Canon Divergent from Book 2, Chapter 15)

Word Count: ~4800

Rating: PG-13 (brief language)

Summary: Drake makes some decisions about his future and Liam turns to some unlikely sources to help him move forward.

Author’s Note: Sorry for the delays. Better late than never, though? I was going to post this much earlier in the week when I realized that my word count was over 10k. Whoops! Instead of posting a bloated beast of a chapter, I completely reworked this chapter and the next two in order to give you all something that you can sit down and read in one sitting without having to take a snack break, and at the end of the day, I’m much happier with this chapter than I was before.

This series diverges from TRR canon, where instead of waiting to discuss his relationship with Riley until their last night in NYC, leaving her a note while Liam is proposing to her, Drake tackles this topic as soon as possible after Tariq makes his statement and Riley’s name is cleared. To catch up on this series, you can find the previous chapters in my masterlist (link is located in my bio).

Liam sighed, sitting in an armchair in front of the fireplace in Olivia’s private office. It had been a long day. No, a very long week. Between the funeral preparations, concerns over possible attacks at the funeral, and public appearances, he hadn’t really had any time to catch his breath. Madeleine had been trying to pick up some slack, for which he was grateful, but there were certain requirements she just couldn’t or shouldn’t be tasked with. For instance, she and Leo could barely be trusted in the same room together without her lashing out and snapping at him.

Leo being around was both a blessing and a curse. Having someone who was also mourning the loss of their father on a personal level who he could talk to was a godsend. But Leo’s methods of coping were not always the most helpful in the big picture. Drinking to the point that they both had nearly blacked out, remembering both the good and the bad, had seemed like a good idea in the moment, but Leo didn’t have to attend the Security Council meeting hungover the next morning. Plus, as complicated as Liam’s own relationship with Father had been, it was nothing on the dynamic between Leo and Father.

While he hadn’t been sleeping much since the first attack at the Homecoming Ball, things had gotten even worse since Father’s death. There was just so much that needed to get done, and ultimately he was the only one who could handle most of it. Plus, there was the fact that when he finally laid down at night, his mind was filled with so many thoughts, it was difficult to process them all. From the safety of those closest to him to the protection of the citizens at large, from the calls for his abdication to the unwavering support of a select few, from his upcoming marriage and the need to produce an heir to his very recent heartbreak, it was hard to quiet things enough to gain any restful sleep.

He had thought he’d been putting on a good front, but after his opening remarks, during his first dance of the night with Olivia, she’d encouraged him to duck out and head to her office when he got a chance. This had left Madeleine alone for the rest of the night and responsible for the closing remarks. Liam could tell she was annoyed by this turn of events, but at the same time, she’d not expressed too much frustration towards him, so he must have been showing some signs of his utter physical and emotional exhaustion. Otherwise, he was sure she would have made her displeasure known.

As needed as some time to himself was, sitting in Olivia’s office with just his glass of wine and no distractions had led to some introspection that he’d been avoiding for nearly a month at this point. Riley and Drake. Together. Since his engagement, Drake had said. Since his father had driven a wedge between him and Riley, making sure what they had would never come to be.

For some reason, it seemed to be getting harder to process than easier. It was like the more he saw and learned about the two of them together, the less sense it all made. The Riley he’d caught glimpses of since he’d learned of their affair was somehow the same woman he fell in love with and a completely different person at the same time. She’d always had a playful sense of humor that he’d adored, but he now was beginning to understand what Drake meant when he’d called her a “snarky piece of work” that would scandalize most of the court and press back when the social season was just starting. How had he been ready to marry her, to start a life with her, to have children with her when there were parts of her personality he’d never fully seen? It would have been one thing if she had been a political match, but she wasn’t. He’d never felt anything before like what he’d felt with her. But had he even known her?

The fact that it was Drake she chose over him complicated his emotions even more. Liam had always hoped that Drake would find someone someday, someone who saw past the bitterness and anger to the deep affection and loyalty he had for those he truly loved. But why did it have to be her? And why hadn’t he approached Liam when things had started to develop between them? What had compelled his best friend to sneak around behind his back for months? And had they really been that great at hiding their relationship, or had he just been oblivious, maybe only seeing things as he wished they were?

Everything just didn’t quite add up, as if Liam was missing some crucial pieces of information. He just wasn’t sure how to best go about getting them at this point. Drake and Riley were leaving the day after tomorrow, and with having to put in an appearance at the festival in Lythikos, there was not going to be much time to really talk. And even if they did talk, Liam wasn’t sure he could afford to delve too deeply into the whole situation. Doing so would undoubtedly dredge up a wide variety of emotions that could cloud his judgement, and with the terror threat still ever-looming, he needed to remain clear headed.

He raised his glass to take another sip of wine and was surprised to find it empty. Walking over to the sideboard, he was pouring himself a refill of the strong vintage when the door slowly opened.

“Glad to see you decided to help yourself to one of my most expensive bottles,” said Olivia as she shut the door behind her.

Liam smiled a little at her joke. The Nevrakis wine collection was legendary, and Olivia had added to it extensively herself over the past few years. Even a several thousand dollar bottle was unlikely to be noticed as missing. It was nice to be able to crack a smile. There was almost no one who would joke around with him these days. “Would you like a glass?”

Olivia nodded and moved over to one of the armchairs in the corner, “I need a drink after having to deal with your fiancée.”

“What did she do now?” Liam asked with a sigh as he passed her a glass and sat down in the other armchair.

“Oh, just some comments in her closing remarks about the loyalty of the citizens of Lythikos that I’m guessing she ad libbed from your prepared statement that seemed highly specific to the leader of said region.”

“I’m sorry. I should have known she’d do something like this. She’s not pleased I asked you to be in her court.”

Olivia shrugged. “She’s just lucky this dress doesn’t allow for me to carry more than two weapons.”

“Olivia…”

“I kid, I kid, at least somewhat. So what have you been up to since you made your escape?”

“Just thinking.”

“About?”

“Olivia, can I ask you… Did Riley and Drake being together surprise you?”

Her eyebrows quirked up slightly, but she showed no other sign of surprise at the turn the conversation had taken. “Honestly?”

“Yes, of course.”

“I mean, I suspected they were hooking up on your engagement tour. They were always next to each other, teasing each other, and there was definitely an increase in the amount of physical contact between the two of them as time went on.”

“Huh,” was all Liam could muster. He could feel Olivia’s eyes on him, but he stared into his wine glass, not quite ready for any eye contact. After a few seconds, Olivia must have decided to clarify her statement.

“Their decision to move in together did catch me off guard, but I thought it was pretty clear they were into each other. But really, talking to Hana or Maxwell is going to get you more information. They spent way more time together, and quite frankly, probably cared a lot more than I did.”

Liam sighed heavily, “It seems like I was the only one who had no clue there was an attraction there.”

“Yeah, well I’m guessing you had more important things on your mind than watching the body language of two commoners.”

“Olivia…” Liam warned, not having the energy to deal with any ingrained snobbery.

“Sorry, sorry. Not trying to offend here. Where is this coming from?”

“Never mind, I just was caught off guard by their interactions at breakfast this morning.”

“You had breakfast with them?”

“Yes, I had them come stay at the palace last night. They were staying at a hotel if you can imagine.”

Olivia let out a little snort that quickly morphed into a chuckle.

“What’s so amusing?”

“You really are a glutton for punishment aren’t you? Why would you invite the two of them into your home?”

“He’s my best friend, Olivia.”

“He’s fucking the woman you love.”

“I can’t lose him over this, though. I need to find a way to move past this.”

“So you decided to move them into the palace as a what? Royal blessing?”

“I had to do something. I have to figure out how to handle seeing the two of them together.”

A long sigh escaped Olivia before she continued, “Do you want some advice?”

Liam turned to face her fully at that statement. Clearly, Olivia had her heart broken at some point, but he wasn’t sure when or by whom. Still, if she had some insight, he would be a fool not to listen, so he nodded.

“You like spending time with her, right? Well, that has to be enough from here on out. You aren’t going to get anymore from her.”

Liam nodded, but Olivia was far from done. “Anytime you find yourself wondering ‘what if,’ you have to remind yourself that she rejected you. She knew she could have had you, and she didn’t want you. All she wants from you is friendship, nothing more.

“You can try to channel everything into being a good friend, focus on that, but be careful. Just because she’s nice to you doesn’t mean she regrets her choice.”

“I know she doesn’t love me, it’s just…”

“It hurts to see her clearly in love with someone else?”

“Yeah, it does,” Liam looked up to see Olivia staring into her own wine glass. “So I’m guessing your knowledge on this topic comes from first-hand experience?”

Olivia’s head jerked up and she stared at him, but her eyes lacked their usual fire. Instead she just looked tired. She shrugged slightly, “You could say that.”

“Is this how you got over it?”

There was a pause before Olivia answered, “Let’s just call it a work in progress.”

Liam tilted his head to the side, trying to determine who Olivia could have been in love with recently. She hadn’t been pursuing anyone during the engagement tour as far as he knew and before that was the social season… The realization washed over him as he recounted moments between the two of them over the past several years. Conversations held at formal dinners, dancing with her at various balls, the kiss he had assumed was meant to unsettle the other suitors. Here he was, bemoaning that Riley didn’t love him to the one person who had to have been hurt the most by that sentiment. He should have seen her intentions. He needed to apologize for not recognizing her feelings.

She must have noticed the change in his expression, because her eyes hardened and she rolled her shoulders back before she spoke again.

“Don’t you dare say anything. I can handle rejection, but I will not tolerate your pity.”

“But Olivia, I-”

“Not another word. I’m deadly serious, Liam. I don’t care if it’s treason, I have two knives on me right now, and I will not hesitate to use them if we go any further down this road. Understood?”

He swallowed and gave her a small nod, “Understood.”

“Good,” Olivia said, raising her glass to clink against his. They sat in a comfortable silence for several minutes, both lost in their own thoughts as they finished their wine.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Drake looked around, trying to process the destruction in front of him. The pictures hadn’t conveyed just how bad it was. But now, standing here at Applewood, it fully hit him. There was nothing left. Absolutely nothing.

It was on impulse that he’d asked Bastien to head to the orchard on the way to his parent’s old home. The plan had initially been for him and Riley to go and box up some family mementos to be shipped over, but after Maxwell whined incessantly yesterday about not getting enough Riley time, she’d agreed to meet him and Hana for lunch in the capital. However, this threw a pretty big wrench in their plans when Riley informed Drake that the last time she drove was when she was 17 years old and had been dating a guy who lived in New Jersey.

“I grew up in Manhattan, Drake. I didn’t exactly ever need to learn to drive,” she’d said to him that morning, like that was supposed to be some perfect explanation. Regardless, they’d had to adjust. Bastien had agreed to essentially chauffeur them out to the Walker home, then take Riley to the restaurant, before returning to help Drake with some packing. But as they were riding along, Drake had asked Bastien to swing by Applewood. It was basically on the way, and Drake wanted to get a sense of what Liam had been facing first hand.

It was worse than he ever could have imagined. There wasn’t a single tree left. Centuries of agriculture, of history, of national pride. All gone. And he’d been off fucking a girl in a different country.

“That’s not exactly a fair assessment,” he thought when Riley came up behind him, wrapping her arms around him in a comforting embrace. It wasn’t just some girl; it was the girl. Being with her hadn’t been a way to avoid his responsibilities. She was his responsibility. But that didn’t erase the fact that his best friend had been left to handle everything alone while he was off getting laid. With the girl his best friend loved.

The weight of the guilt only increased when they pulled into the driveway of his parent’s home. Being at Constantine’s funeral had brought up a lot of memories of his own father, and now being here again, where they had spent so much time together, it irritated the wound that most days felt like it was basically healed.

Riley grabbed his hand as soon as they were out of the car, almost as if she knew how tough it would be for him to be back here.

“Little different from the palace, huh?” he said, gesturing towards the small home tucked behind a few trees.

“A lot nicer than the apartments I grew up in,” she replied with a shrug.

He gave her a brief tour of the place, showing her his old childhood bedroom with walls covered with posters of football players, the kitchen with its olive green appliances, the living room with family photos that did not show any progression of time since he was 14 years old. He stopped outside his dad’s office, though. He hadn’t been in there in 15 years. Riley ran her thumb over the back of his hand soothingly, but he couldn’t bring himself to open the door.

“Ahem.”

Both he and Riley jumped slightly as they turned around, startled by Bastien’s reappearance. “Ms. Liu, we should probably head out in order to make your lunch reservation. Drake, I can take care of your father’s office when I return, if you’d like.”

Drake nodded mutely. Riley tugged him around to fully face her, staring into his eyes, “Are you gonna be okay here? I don’t have to go to lunch.”

“Nah, Liu. I’ll be fine.”

She nodded, but the look in her eyes was clearly skeptical. Still, she took him at his word, giving his hand one last squeeze before she let go and walked toward the front door with Bastien.

It turned out going through the house, even just to decide which items he wanted to ship to New York, was a huge project. He hadn’t been out here in basically a year, and hadn’t spent any significant time here in over five years. Quite frankly, he’d severely underestimated the amount of crap that had been left behind. He’d barely made a dent in his bedroom by the time Bastien returned from dropping off Riley.

“I brought us back some food,” he said from the doorway.

So he and Bastien ate lunch, laughing about all the times that he’d let Savannah and him stay up late watching horror movies and other misadventures in babysitting. After finishing their meals, the two of them had dipped into his father’s bar, sharing more stories from years and years ago. They didn’t exactly get drunk, but Drake knew he wasn’t exactly sober. And not-sober Drake was even less motivated to pack up the house.

Drake knew that there were a lot of reasons that he was avoiding boxing up this house that hadn’t really felt like home since his father’s death. Quite frankly, with all the upheaval in his life over the past month, digging through his childhood memories felt like an unneeded burden. He had enough to process without revisiting pains that were over a decade old. Also, it seemed like a rather pointless endeavor. There were very few items he would want to keep, and most of them would be useless in New York City. What would he do with his dad’s fishing rod or tackle box in New York? Where would he store their tent in Riley’s tiny studio? He could maybe grab a couple of family photos, but he would feel weird adding them to Riley’s shelves. Plus, it’s not like he was putting the house on the market or anything. He and Savannah were both named on the deed, and he really hadn’t talked with her about selling it. So instead of doing the task he’d set out to complete, he reminisced about his dad.

He had to wonder what his dad would think if he could see him now. Would he be happy that he was attempting to forge his own path? Proud that he was trying to do right by the woman he loved? Or would he be disappointed that he’d abandoned king and country when they needed him most? Ashamed that he’d ignored the olive branch extended by his sister? Horrified that he neglected his duties in a time of crisis? His father had always stressed doing the right and honorable thing, even when it was the difficult choice. Would his father have even accepted him being with Riley, knowing that the foundation of their relationship was built on the deception of his best friend?

He didn’t bring anything back to the palace with him, brushing off Bastien with an excuse about the size of Riley’s place. He knew what he needed to do, he just didn’t know if he was going to have the courage to do it.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It was well after dinner time when Maxwell and Hana dropped Riley off at the palace. Their lunch had led to drinks followed by a dinner consisting of only desserts and pastries. It had been great spending time with them, but Riley knew she needed to get back and help Drake pack up some of his belongings in his quarters. Their flight wasn’t until the afternoon, but Riley was hoping Drake would take some time in the morning to spend with Liam. He would be back from Lythikos sometime tonight, but tomorrow he didn’t have any formal meetings scheduled, so it would be the perfect time for the two of them to actually talk.

When she got back to Drake’s quarters, she was surprised to find them empty. Things must be taking longer than expected at his parent’s house. She pulled out her phone to text him when a knock on the door startled her. She had no idea if it was technically okay that she was here without Drake. Obviously, everyone was just kind of looking the other way and ignoring the fact that she was sleeping there, but would it be okay for her to be there alone early in the evening?

“Drake, are you here? It’s me,” trickled through the door. The voice was muffled, but it was clearly Liam’s.

Riley hesitated for just a moment before heading to the door. Liam eyes widened briefly at the sight of her, but he quickly composed himself, giving her a friendly smile.

“Good evening, Riley. I was hoping I might speak to Drake.”

“He’s not here.”

“Oh.”

The silence that followed was awkward, stilted, heavy. Liam turned to leave, as he said “Alright, well I’ll see you both tomorrow before you leave,” but Riley felt wrong leaving it at that.

“Why don’t you come in and wait for him?”

The invite had slipped out before she really thought it through. Liam stopped in his tracks though, and gave her a smile that actually reached his eyes as he stepped into Drake’s quarters.

As the door closed behind him, the awkwardness began to seep back in, but both of them seemed determined to squash it away.

“A drink,” said Riley, walking over to the hutch that Drake had apparently kept stocked with whiskey, “Let’s have a drink.”

“That sounds perfect.”

After pouring two whiskey neats, Riley settled onto the opposite end of the couch, handing Liam one of the glasses.

“So where is Drake?”

“He’s packing some things up at his parent’s house.”

“I suppose that makes sense.”

“I kinda thought he’d be back by now. He’s supposed to decide what he wants to ship over from here,” Riley added, gesturing around the suite.

“Why wouldn’t he take everything?”

“Square footage is kind of limited in New York City.”

“Ahh, yes. My apologies.”

Riley waved him off. He had no way of comprehending how tiny the average NYC studio was. She took another sip of her whiskey, trying to think of another topic of conversation.

“How was Lythikos?”

Liam gave a little shrug, “The Winter Festival is always a highlight. With how much snow they get there, they always look to celebrate the start of the season as early as possible.”

“I can’t believe you went right after your father’s funeral. I was useless for like a month after my mother’s funeral.”

“Yes, well… The country doesn’t stop for familial loss. My father would have wanted me to be there.” Liam took at larger drink of whiskey at that, and it was impossible to miss the way he stared into his glass.

“You can talk to me about it, you know,” Riley said after a moment, “I know what it’s like to lose a parent where you had a… complicated relationship.”

“Oh, I won’t burden you with that. I got through my mother’s death when I was much younger. This one should be easier as I’ve had some time to prepare myself.”

“But Liam, he didn’t die from the cancer. It’s okay if this still is shocking to you. It’s normal to be affected by the loss of a parent. No one would blame you if you took some time to grieve.”

He gave her a hollow smile at that statement, “As king, I don’t exactly have the luxury of taking a few days off when there is an active terror threat that still hasn’t been neutralized. Once things have calmed down on that front, I think I’ll probably cancel meetings for a few days, take a little time for myself.”

Riley squinted at him and cocked her head slightly, “And what happens when there is some other crisis that only you can handle?”

Liam let out a little chuckle at that, “Then it’ll have to wait a little longer.”

“Right, because I’m sure there will be a day where everything is one hundred percent calm, and you’ll be able to take as much time as you want to just relax and do nothing.”

That elicited an outright laugh from Liam. “You sound just like Drake.”

Riley didn’t know how to respond to that. It was clear Liam didn’t know exactly how to move past the implications of that sentence either, as an awkward silence settled between the two of them. They both moved to reach for their drinks, clearly looking for something, anything to do now that the conversation had come to a screeching halt.

After a moment, Liam sighed before soldiering on. It didn’t surprise Riley that he spoke first, given all his years of diplomatic experience. What did surprise her was that he didn’t redirect the conversation.

“I suppose it’s not surprising that you sound like him after spending so much time together over the past few weeks.”

“Months, if we’re being honest here. But Liam, do you really think I’ve changed by being with him? Because I can tell you right now, I haven’t. I think you are just seeing a different side of me than you saw when I was on my best behavior during the social season.”

Liam nodded slightly as he said, “ I’m getting that sense.” He took another sip of his drink and paused, seeming to be contemplating his next words. “Drake told me that things between you two started after my engagement, but it seemed like that was a difficult question for you both to answer. I assumed that your hesitation was born out of a desire to shield me from the duration of your relationship, but the more I see of you two together, I have to wonder if there was another reason you were reticent to share things with me.”

Riley swallowed. This seemed like a conversation for Liam and Drake, but at the same time, she wondered if there wasn’t a reason Liam was asking her instead of Drake. It was a fair question, really. He had a right to know. “It’s hard to define exactly when things started, but honestly?” Liam nodded at her, probably trying to be encouraging, but he was radiating tension, as if he was bracing himself for some horrible revelation. Still, Riley knew she had to continue, “I would have answered that question a little differently than Drake did.”

Liam did not seem surprised by her answer, continuing to stare at her as he waited for more details.

“I would say that things started between us at Applewood.”

“The time we were there after my engagement?”

Riley shook her head, “No, the first time I was there.”

Liam nodded slowly, eyes staring up at the ceiling. Riley wasn’t sure whether she should keep talking, or if more details would just be cruel at this point, but in a flash, Liam composed his face, a gentle smile taking the place of his pained grimace. “Thank you for your honesty, Riley. I think I will leave you for the evening. It’s been a long day.”

“But Drake-”

“I’ll talk to him tomorrow. Goodnight, Riley.”

“Goodnight, Liam.”

He set down his glass on the coffee table and walked out of Drake’s quarters, giving Riley a slight nod of farewell as he shut the door. He couldn’t have been gone for even a minute when Drake entered, shoulders sagging and eyes downcast.

“Hey you, I was wondering when you’d be back. You just missed Liam.”

His eyes shot up to hers at that. “What was he doing here?”

“Looking for you. He wanted to chat before we leave tomorrow. Speaking of which, we’ve got some packing to do here.”

Drake sighed and shook his head, taking another deep breath before he spoke again. “Liu, I can’t head back with you tomorrow.”

Tags: @wickedgypsymoon @thesumofmychoices @cosigottahavefaith @thequeenofcronuts @thequeenchoices @katedrakeohd @carabeth @feartheendlesssummer @jovialyouthmusic @gibbles82 @iplaydrake @sirbeepsalot @ladyangel70 @ao719

#drake walker #drake x mc #trr #the royal romance #choices trr #king liam #trr liam #olivia nevrakis #choices #choices stories you play #playchoices

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thelogicalghost · 6 years ago

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The Problem of Hans

With the Frozen 2 trailer drop, I wanted to finally organize some of my thoughts about the original in a post I can link to instead of trying to repeat this argument every time it comes up.

Before I dive in, I want to emphasize that I am not trying to ‘forgive’ or ‘justify’ Hans being a dick. My goal is to parse his actions throughout the movie and find a plausible explanation for seemingly contrasting character moments.

Part 1: Some Background

The original story of the Snow Queen, on which Frozen was loosely based, set the icy-powered queen as the villain. However, during development, songwriters Robert Lopez and Kristen Anderson-Lopez composed and pitched several songs including “Let It Go” that put the sisters’ relationship at the center of the story. The decision was made to redeem Elsa and make the sisters the heroes, requiring the previously supporting character Hans to become a last-minute villain.

Because of this rewrite, and perhaps in order to preserve the ‘twist’, Hans spends the majority of the movie seeming utterly charming and even heroic. Disney inadvertently created a truly terrible villain, a sociopath capable of utterly fooling an entire country but revealing his evil plans and unfathomable cruelty only to a dying women. However, this also meant that Hans’ portrayal has several serious inconsistencies that bring his twist betrayal into question. These moments continue to bother me every time I watch the movie, creating a conundrum that a purely evil, brilliant, manipulative Hans doesn’t explain.

Taking the finished, theatrical release of the movie as canon, I as the audience was left trying to reconcile these discrepancies into a plausible narrative. First, I’m going to talk about the moments that force me to question the movie’s explanation, and then I’m going to present exactly that plausible narrative.

Part 2: The Bits That Bother Me

There are two moments that trouble me particularly in the movie. One is much more significant than the other, so let’s start with that one.

Hans has gathered a group of volunteers to find the missing royal sisters. Two of these volunteers, attendants to the Duke of Weselton, have been ordered by the Duke to kill Elsa. As they approach Elsa’s ice palace and are confronted by her snow monster, these two men take advantage of the confusion to run ahead of the group. Both try to shoot Elsa with crossbows. Elsa defends herself, pinning one man to the wall with ice spikes and pushing the other man onto a balcony with a sliding wall of ice.

Just as she’s about to push the second man off of the balcony, where he would fall to his likely death, Hans and the rest of the men arrive. Hans shouts, “Queen Elsa! Don’t be the monster they fear you are.” Elsa pauses, realizing that she had been about to kill. The first man tries to take advantage of this pause by raising his loaded crossbow for a final shot. Hans, after quickly glancing upward, dashes across the room to yank the man’s arm up and send the bolt toward the ceiling. This sends an ornate ice chandelier falling to the floor. Elsa jumps out of the way but is knocked unconscious.

The key moment here is Hans’ intervention. Let’s consider the logic of this moment based on an evil, manipulative Hans:

If Hans wanted Elsa dead and out of the way, he could have:

Ordered his men to attack. She was obviously having difficulty managing two assailants, but attacking them with her ice powers could have been a perfect excuse to need to take her down

Continued to distract Elsa so that the first of the Duke’s men could shoot her

Grapple with the man but let the crossbow ‘go off’ to hit Elsa, either killing her (since he could obviously aim it very well) or prolonging the fight and creating other opportunities

If Hans wanted Elsa alive for some reason, but wanted a great excuse to kill or dethrone her later, he could have:

Said nothing, let her kill a soldier from a neighboring country, making her a killer and potentially exacerbating a diplomatic incident

Said literally anything else to provoke/manipulate her or the situation, for example, beg her to surrender (which she wouldn’t, making her look like the bad guy) or urge his men to save the Duke’s men (which would have turned into a full conflict that might have resulted in her wounding or killing her own people)

Instead, Hans appeals to her humanity. He says something calculated to make her stop and consider what she had been about to do. Then he takes an action that was much less likely to do her harm - Elsa had plenty of time to dodge that chandelier - but disrupted the standoff and diffused a tense situation.

No matter which way I look at this scene, Hans’ actions just don’t make sense if he sees Elsa as an obstacle to the throne.

The second moment I want to mention is much smaller, but to me, equally disconcerting. It happens much earlier, at the end of the scene in which Hans and Anna meet.

Memorably, their initial meeting ends with the two of them standing in a boat that is perched precariously on the edge of a dock. As Anna leaves, both of them seeming quite taken with each other, Chekhov’s boat finally tips over and dumps Hans in the water. As he lifts up the overturned boat, Hans gives the departing Anna a fond smile.

This smile is what bothers me so badly. Hans, in this moment, has no audience. He is under a boat off the edge of a dock. Even his horse would have difficulty seeing him from that angle. Yet his expression contains no spark of malice. It’s gentle and hopeful, suggesting that he’s as smitten with her as she clearly is with him. If Hans were a sociopath, he would need to put effort into faking this expression, and why would he without an audience? There is absolutely no reason to think that his feelings in this smile are not completely genuine, except for the fact that he later claims they’re fake.

Which leads me to ...

Part 3: A Plausible Narrative

Hans arrives in Arendelle and meets Anna. She’s young and clearly unpolished but sweet and authentic. During the coronation ball, they enjoy each other’s company. Hans sees a woman who clearly lacks practical education and whose romantic ideas could land her into a lot of trouble, but whose spontaneity and youthful energy he appreciates.

Now, in the mid-1800′s, like in most of European monarchical history, marriage among royalty is not a matter of love but of exchange and consolidation of goods and power. Hans suspects that there are problems in Arendelle. The princesses have been sequestered completely in the years since their parents’ deaths. Perhaps the reason Anna’s been kept behind locked doors is that she’s prone to thoughtless acts of romanticism that could easily bring harm to the royal family. He can’t offer the family riches or titles, but he can provide this woman the trappings of romance, be patient with her, and in time, nurture a genuinely loving relationship. He can promise to reign in her impulsive behavior and encourage her to act in ways that benefit the kingdom. Maybe he can offer more, in terms of what experience and knowledge he’ll bring to the table as a prince from a powerful nation, but first he has to talk to the queen.

Surprisingly, when he and Anna approach Elsa, the two sisters seem to be misinterpreting his offer of engagement and negotiations as an offer to run off to the church, like, NOW. Elsa gives a public, automatic rejection. Anna confronts her in an embarrassingly public argument. Then, of course, something happens that Hans couldn’t have predicted: Elsa reveals that she has ice powers, freezes the harbor, and sets a snowstorm on the country.

Without consulting anyone or taking anyone with her, Anna rides off to find her sister. Instead of calling on any of the advisers, minor nobility, or other titles of the realm, Anna puts Hans in change. Hans is not only shocked at the impropriety and irresponsibility, but the fact that no one seems to challenge him for that position. Everyone, local or visiting, is content to turn to this visiting prince, despite the conflict earlier in the ballroom. Well, if he’s what they’ve got, he’ll take that duty. He hopes to eventually be part of the royal family, after all, so these will soon be his people. He sorts out emergency responses including hot food and thick blankets, walking through the streets himself to aid in distribution.

Anna’s horse appears, riderless and distressed. Now Hans is deeply concerned. It seems that whatever sisterly means Anna intended to use to calm Elsa have failed. He organizes an expedition to travel up the mountain, taking volunteers (not hand-picking people who might be loyal to him, note, but inviting people who genuinely care about their monarch to help find her). He probably plans this trip and finds at least one guide, because he gets to the palace shortly after Anna leaves.

Despite having to battle a giant snow monster and nearly falling to his death, when Hans sees the standoff between Elsa and the Duke’s men, he says what he hopes will be the most effective at calming her down. He sees an opportunity to diffuse the standoff by destroying the chandelier, which knocks the queen unconscious. Despite having every opportunity and a long journey back to the city, Hans takes Elsa, unharmed, to the palace dungeons and restrains her.

When Elsa comes to, he begs her to break the curse. This is when Elsa says, simply, “I can’t,” and begs him to let her go. She doesn’t even know where Anna is.

Now, if Elsa was thinking even slightly rationally, she would know that Hans can’t simply let her go. She plunged the city into deep winter. IF the effect is related to proximity, leaving might help, but if it’s not - and Elsa clearly isn’t in control of this curse, how does she know? - then they’ll have lost the opportunity to track her down again and try something else. People are going to die.

A visiting dignitary tells Hans that, if something’s happened to Anna, he’s “all Arendelle has left.” The message is clear: this is on his shoulders. The fate of thousands of lives and an entire country rests on him. He wants to go look for Anna again because she maybe will have some idea of how to break the curse.

And then Anna shows up, cold and dying. What she says to Hans, specifically, is that she was wrong about Elsa never hurting her, that Elsa has frozen her heart and only an act of true love can save her.

This is the last straw. Sure, eventually Hans would probably have grown to love Anna, but true love at first sight? That’s absurd. And of course, there’s no one else. Clearly something terrible has happened between the sisters, so hoping for love there is pointless. He’s been here two days and not seen so much as a close family friend who might potentially love the girls enough to save them. So now he has a country buried in snow in the middle of the summer by a queen who can’t control her ice curses, and the non-magical princess is going to die.

So Hans does a crappy thing and takes his anger out on a girl who’s going to die. He mocks her for being naive and impulsive, gives her the worst possible scenario just to make her feel stupid, and enjoys her shock and pain. And then he douses the fire and opens a window to make sure she dies quickly, because now Hans has a plan.

You see, witchcraft is a really flimsy excuse for executing a sitting queen, especially when he’s only just got here. But with everyone present perfectly happy to take his word for events, Hans comes up with a way to save everyone and take the kingdom without looking like a monster. All he has to do is say that he and Anna exchanged vows. Elsa’s killed Anna, so now he’s going to execute her for murder. Every story about magic from the era and before suggests that slaying the person who cast the curse will end the curse. He’ll save Arendelle not only from eternal winter, but also from two girls who almost destroyed their own nation with their magic and incompetence.

But, of course, both girls escape, Anna stops Hans and saves herself, and Elsa finally realizes what the trolls should have told her parents all those years ago and saved everyone a lot of pain: love is the key to melting the effects of her powers.

So Hans is arrested for attempted regicide (despite his actions being assented to and supported by everyone else present), Arendelle cuts off its largest trading partner for the Duke’s role in events, and Anna starts spending time alone with a commoner while Elsa continues to show no interest in marriage arrangements, further eroding the stability of the monarchy. Not to mention the potential massive agricultural and economic problems from the two-day winter.

Part 4: In Conclusion

As I said earlier, I’m not trying to defend Hans’ actions entirely. His tirade at Anna when they were alone was nothing short of abusive. What I’m trying, instead, to offer is an explanation of why his supposed confession doesn’t fit with some of his actions during the course of the movie. I’m trying to frame the events of a movie set in a historical time period in a way appropriate to that time period.

(Yes, I know, it’s a kid’s movie and to some extent a fairy tale, but if your best argument is “well reality should be handwaved for the story” then I would counter that the story’s inconsistencies were actively harmful to the intended message. If the point was to make Hans a gaslighting monster, then don’t make his actions plausibly rational and rely on a single scene to demonstrate that he’s actually monstrous.)

I’ve tried my best to keep this post limited to the content of the movie and extrapolations made from that material. I don’t think Hans should be brought back as a romantic interest (GIVE ELSA A GIRLFRIEND DISNEY) and I don’t think any backstory, up to and including Hans himself suffering abuse, justifies his cruelty. That said, I continue to hope that Frozen 2 will see the return of Hans not as an all-out villain but as someone who knows he’s made mistakes and is working to be a better person.

I mean, if Elsa can be forgiven for plunging the kingdom into eternal winter, maybe Hans can find some resolution, too?

#frozen #Prince Hans #speculation #historical fiction #perspective

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psqqa · 6 years ago

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makeste replied to your post “i can’t say i came out of bnha with a whole lot of Shipping Thoughts,...”

I would read all of these but especially 2 and 3 and especially especially 5 omg. or a version of number 8 where Shouto interrupts their usual 30 minutes of silence and good vibes by asking Momo for advice about his love life because of number 5. and he asks her because he knows she's in a polyamorous relationship with Jirou and Kaminari, which happened due to the band AU, and something something but I'm sure there's a way to fit the rest of it in there too lol

ok omg yes we can do this. hmmm ok so it’s eri’s.........13th birthday??? i have no idea how old she’s supposed to be in canon. but let’s say that in seven years or so she’ll be turning 13. (oh okay the wiki tells me she’s 6 so bang fucking on fuck yeah!! wow that’s a first.)

anyway, it’s eri’s 13th birthday and because it’s eri’s 13th birthday it has to be The Greatest 13th Birthday Party In The World because mirio’s baby girl is a teenager now and that needs celebratin!!!!

and THAT means Getting The Band Back Together because that was an Important Moment in the development of eri’s happiness and safety and joy and she’ll need that energy going into adolescence.

it also means asking aizawa to cater because like he’s a chef or something in his spare time right? ‘you should ask literally anyone else’ says aizawa, ‘that is not the kind of cooking i do. it is in fact virtually the antithesis of the cooking i do.’ but eri gives him her Big Doe Eye Look Of Awe all ‘you can cook and you’ll make food for me???’ so now he has to do it. it’s perfectly rational ok.

(hmm ok this turned into a whole thing, so let’s throw that under a cut)

so that’s happening and casa momokamijirou is now band practice central. which means some Domestic Fucking OT3 Shenanigans. progress on this is discussed during the weekly breakfast and todoroki offers to be part of the tech crew again. he also recently worked a case with inasa. which is a thing that keeps happening every few months somehow despite being on opposite ends of the country, and he’s like ‘yo you know airbending would make for some cool effects. i’ll see if i can rope him in somehow. it shouldn’t be hard, he does like kids.’

inasa is successfully roped in. tech crew planning occurs. ‘wow inasa sure is enthusiastic about this’ todoroki thinks to himself one day while he eats cold soba in his office at 4 pm because villains have no respect for reasonable lunch hours. there is some more contemplation on inasa’s enthusiasm around children and also todoroki and then his brain makes on small step for mankind but one giant leap for todoroki and goes ‘wait.’ he spends roughly the next 20 minutes blinking rapidly at the framed silver age all might poster he’s got hanging on his office wall because he can be a bit of a petty bitch like that. there is a further amount of blinking that happens over the next 48 hours.

halfway through his next breakfast with momo he puts down his natto and says ‘kaminari is a bit of a flirt, right?’ which prompts some blinking from momo as well. she puts down her natto as well.

‘i suppose?’ she says. ‘i would characterize it more as spirited affability, though.’

todoroki considers this briefly and nods. that is a fair assessment. ‘how did you know that the.....spirited affability aimed at you was different from the spirited affability aimed at the rest of the world?’

momo blinks at him again. ‘he told me.’ she says. ‘and kyouka.’ she smiles. ‘he knows us quite well, after all. he knew we needed the help.’

todoroki returns her smile because he is happy for her happiness but then he frowns because that doesn’t exactly help him.

‘........has someone been aiming.......spirited affability at you as well?’ momo asks, catching on.

todoroki nods. ‘i came to the realization a few days ago that over the course of our acquaintance yoarashi inasa has been......particularly spirited in his affability towards me. i’m struggling to figure out what that means.’

momo smiles. ‘what would you like it to mean?’

todoroki frowns more deeply. ‘i’m not sure,’ he admits, ‘but i suppose the amount of thought i’ve put towards means i would like it to mean something.’

momo nods. ‘perhaps you should ask, then. in my experience direct communication is crucial to the success of any relationship.’

todoroki nods and smiles. ‘perhaps i shall.’ he says.

‘would you like me to ask denki for his thoughts?’ momo asks. ‘he is admittedly better at this than i am.’

todoroki considers this. ‘i think i would prefer to ask him myself, if i decide i need the help, if that’s alright.’

'of course,’ momo says and they go back to their natto and their silence and their good vibes.

bakugou attends therapy. bakugou attends a yoga session. bakugou takes up jazz drumming. bakugou calls his mom. bakugou buys a birthday present for eri. each step of the way he thinks to himself ‘time to show these assholes how it’s motherfucking DONE!!’ then he thinks on the 45 minutes his therapist spent explaining the trap of external validation like he was some kind of idiot who hadn’t read up on this shit before starting therapy. he’s a model fucking therapy patient. he’s rocking this shit. he considers that again. he acknowledges briefly that she may have had some kind of point. bakugou goes to band practice and fucking obliterates each and every count in. John Bonham fucking wishes he could count off as good as bakugou does.

momo comes home for another band practice to find that kaminari, who is not my self-insert but who is in this moment embodying my spirit, has locked bakugou in the quirk-killing space momo has been experimentally building, and has been playing Learnalilgivinanlovin at him on repeat for the past few hours. ‘yeah he’s like a million times better than he was when we first met, but he was just telling me about how he’s going to win the yoga session his therapist suggested he go to, so like, i think he could do with some reinforcement of the concept.’

‘todoroki may come to you for advice at some point soon,’ momo says. ‘if he does be nice. if he doesn’t, don’t push it.’

kaminari grins that big grin of his. ‘you know me, yaomomo, i’m always nice!’

momo says nothing.

kaminari’s grin falters. ‘aren’t i? momo? momo, i’m nice person! momo!!’

momo smiles. ‘you are. that’s what i love about you.’ and leaves him blushing in her wake.

jirou, on the other hand, is holed up with tokoyami in her Music Room, introducing him to the Great Hits of early 2000s goth rock. tokoyami looks pretty rapturous as some guy dissolves into feathers on screen. he asks her for the tabs. she hands them over as if she had been expecting this. momo’s sure she had. it’s what she loves about her. she leaves them to it.

the birthday party happens. aizawa looks like he’s aged about 15 years but the food is delivered and it is delicious. eri shyly asks him if he’ll do her hair once more ‘for old time’s sake’. he smiles and those 15 years return to him. eri’s hair looks great.

the band comes out. eri is surprised and thrilled. she asks if she can sit on mirio’s shoulders again like she did the first time. mirio looks like he’s about to vibrate into the sun with joy and says yes, of course.

the band is a hit. everyone dances, including toshinori, who is dragged into some kind of jive by ashido and he rocks it. and then has to immediately sit down for 20 minutes. but it’s good, it’s fine, he’s happy. eri’s happy. mirio’s happy. midoriya fucking cries into his plate of birthday cake he’s so happy.

todoroki drags inasa off to the side at some point to ask him about the thing. momo was correct, of course, and he resolves to tell her this at their next breakfast he thinks as he too smiles happily and dances (awkwardly. with inasa. it’s great.)

it’s a friday night, but crime never sleeps, so a number of them have to get home to sleep so they can work in the morning. the rest remain to help clean up because ‘that’s what heroes do!!’ and as mirio picks up garbage, he looks over to where eri and kirishima are sorting things into recyclable and non-recyclable trash, laughing together at whatever story kirishima is telling, and mirio’s done it, he’s a professional hero, he saves people every day, but this right here is the most heroic he’s ever felt.

#makeste #bnha #The Ficening

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sunlitroom · 6 years ago

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Thoughts on ‘The Beginning’

So - as with The Trial of Jim Gordon, I'm going to regard this episode as an extra, and do some meta as opposed to a full recap. My rationale is pretty much the same: this is an optional easter egg, and one that can easily be regarded as outside canon if desired.

Also - I found the deeper message, like that in The Trial of Jim Gordon, was so unpalatable it strained the show’s broader ideas and themes. So I’ve decided it’s not part of canon, for me.

Thoughts after the cut. Same disclaimer as with The Trial of Jim Gordon. I love the show. I tweeted like a maniac as episodes were airing, and got booted from Twitter. I want another network to pick it up.

However, my idea of meta is the old fandom one, which is critical analysis. If that’s not your thing, fine - but that’s what I’ll be doing here.

So, first things first.

I understand the rationale behind the time-jump, to an extent. The two extra episodes were just that - extra. One was spent on The Trial of Jim Gordon, which I have already been salty about in another post. This one was a sort of nod to the fans - offering Batman as a sort of reward. I’ve always been more interested in the story Gotham actually set out to tell, though, the story before Batman. The story of the city and its inhabitants. As such, I was always going to be less taken with an episode which was fundamentally mostly interested in giving us Batman.

But there were a couple of other issues that confused me. Gotham has always presented its own vision of the city, the characters. It’s shown it can be creative with canon, as well as adding its own ideas. Not only, for example, is their take on Oswald unique, but Fish Mooney – so pivotal in his development – only exists within Gotham’s universe. We got the Executioner and Cyrus Gold – yes, but we also got Nathaniel Barnes and Butch Gilzean, who had character and stories and lives all of their own.

I like that it thumbed its nose at Jim’s moustache. But go all the way with it. Yes, we know Batman’s coming. But if you want to continue to focus on Jim, and his wrestling with the notion of heroism – then just do that. Have the courage of your convictions. You can draw inspiration from the 60s series if you want, but you’re not shackled to it: Oswald doesn’t have to don a top hat and become 60s Penguin if you don’t want him to. The city doesn’t have to morph aesthetically into something we saw in the movies. You’ve told your own story. See it through.

That aside - the details.

The flash-forward was also a difficult ask because the story has been unnaturally cut short. Characters who were still wrestling with huge issues didn’t really get to address them in a truncated season and - as such - it’s sort of hard to accept where we find them now.

For example

We’ve seen Jim deal with several demons over the years. He has major issues with authority. His relationship with his father looms large. He wants to be a hero, but gets on better with the villains. He compartmentalises like crazy. He’s emotionally dishonest with others and himself. He enjoys playing dangerous games. He can’t resist a pissing match.

Am I to honestly believe that Jim has been entirely clean and pure in the interim? Why? Because the city was saved after near destruction? That’s happened before – he didn’t change. If anything, he’s more likely to have reverted to old habits once the crisis was over. Is he reformed because he’s a father now? Didn’t stop him killing Theo Galavan while Lee was pregnant.

Jim’s development was still very much in progress. As such, he feels unsatisfying here and - given what we know about him - you can’t help but feel he’s probably been up to his old tricks, but we’re just getting to see the sanitised surface of his life.

Lee likewise generally suffered quite a bit from the truncated season, and is good example of how the flash-forward doesn’t serve characters well.

In season 4, we saw her explore a darker side to her personality that the show has strongly and consistently hinted at since way back in season one, explicitly – when she says that Jerome’s confession of matricide thrilled her, and implicitly, when we wondered why the hell she was working in Arkham. We also saw her enjoy power in season 4. We saw her deeply committed to improving the lot of the residents in the Narrows, even if her way of going about it was short-sighted. We saw her shoot Sofia Falcone point-blank in the head in cold blood. We saw her, although many hated it, form an intense romantic relationship with Ed, where she seemed to find a fulfilment and recognition that she never found with Jim or Mario.

However, in season 5, the show clearly needed her to quickly step into the role of Mrs Jim and stepmother to Barbara. This meant becoming the angel at the hearth again, so it essentially erased those experiences, all that new characterisation.

As such, like Jim, she feels flat here – like we’re only getting to see a facade. She’s back in her old post of intermittently saying supportive things to Jim, and apparently quietly looking forward to him quitting his job. When she's bizarrely given the task of defusing the bomb, as Lucius the tech specialist stands by the side - it really only underlined that stripping her of all that history and characterisation meant that she doesn't really have a real role of her own in the wider workings of the city.

Now to the heart of my problem with this episode.

We’re told, without any explanation, that Oswald was sent to Blackgate shortly after reunification, and Ed to Arkham.

Now, to be honest, I find this fairly implausible. In all the rebuilding efforts, I doubt the authorities would have the will or energy to go back and rake over who committed what crime when the city had been abandoned by the government. And even if they did, both their actions – willingly manning the barricades (Oswald sustaining an injury when doing so), would have likely gone some way to mitigating everything else.

You could argue that it's for some nameless crime they committed later - but the show could easily have indicated that by throwing in a line about some heist or scheme they tried to pull off that ended up with them being put away.

Mayor James - ‘Oswald Cobblepot is getting released tomorrow’

Harvey - ‘Should have got 20 years for that stunt he pulled after reunification - not 10. So should Nygma.’

It didn't take the trouble to do that - so I'm left assuming they were sent away on the basis of crimes committed during the split.

However, this poses us with some problems both in terms of the plot, and more deeply in terms of narrative repercussions. Because if we are going to start to get persnickety about charging people with crimes they’ve committed, and then having them face actual consequences – well, we saw Barbara shoot loads of randoms in season 5. Going back not too far, Lee shot Sofia Falcone in the head. Going back further still, Jim murdered Ogden Barker and Theo Galavan, and was indirectly responsible for several deaths by inviting Sofia Falcone to town.

So – then – if we’ve decided that actually charging people and sending them to prison is now the done thing, why are we so selective with who’s punished? Gotham is a show with a million shades of grey. It gives its villains humanising back stories and motivations – but it ultimately still wants to punish a select few like it’s a black and white universe. You can’t do that when your good guys are equally tainted. Not unless you want to give off an unfortunate stench of hypocrisy, anyway.

Oswald flat-out asks Jim on the pier. I could have escaped this city. I chose to stand shoulder to shoulder with you and defend it. Why was I punished?

It’s telling that Jim never actually furnishes Oswald with any good answer to his question on the pier. Because - over the years - the show itself has never quite figured out how to answer this one. He can’t answer. What could he possibly say?

Why then, do some get away scot-free, while others are punished? Why, as Ed observes, do some get to make choices - while others never get the chance?

Jim and Lee are ‘heroes’ (arguably wandering into designated hero territory, at points). They're never going to face consequences for anything. Jim going on a self-pitying drinking binge doesn’t count - not compared to a ten-year stint in Blackgate or Arkham. Lee never expressed any remorse for Sofia.

As for Barbara, well Barbara is brought back into the heroic fold, too.

First and foremost, she’s offered moral redemption by bearing Jim’s child. Becoming a mother meant all previous sins were forgiven.

When we meet her here, we see now that she’s wealthy and powerful – playing a serious role in the city. It’s empowering in a way – but it’s also a means of re-affirming the established order and putting her back in her box. Remember that Barbara is from one of Gotham's elite families - and she's finally behaving like someone from an elite and wealthy family would do. To make her position clear - she’s explicitly placed in the same category as Bruce here in terms of her wealth and control of the city. I’m assuming that pregnancy also made magically clean whatever money she used to buy up the city when it was on its knees. She didn’t seem to have access to her parents’ cash before now - so she must have used her ill-gotten gains.

(I would argue that strategically buying up parts of the city post-reunification is screamingly Oswald, but like other chunks of his characterisation and storyline, it got sent Barbara’s way in season 5 in a bid to flesh out her character)

Last up, she’s not demanding a romantic relationship with Jim anymore, but they’re now forever safely tied in that context due to their daughter - there’s no mention of Tabitha, or casual mention of a new partner. Troublesome, restless Barbara, poor little rich girl – demanding of Jim’s time and attention, namelessly unhappy, and with a murky ‘past’ is now ‘fixed’ and neutralised.

Thinking about those brought into the fold necessarily asks you to think about those who were excluded.

Oswald might have roots in an elite family, like Barbara, but - crucially - he’s also one part poor immigrant (as well as all his many other markers of 'otherness'). He can’t escape this - we got his jangling east European music as soon as we saw him in this episode, and we were reminded of Gertrud when he said he would lay flowers on her grave as his first act after his release.

Ed’s background is unknown, but we can safely hazard a guess that there’s no moneyed upper-class upbringing there. He was also willing to step up when it counted, and was even used by those in power for their own ends during the break – but none of that counts for anything, apparently, and he finds himself in Arkham. You could argue that Ed is unwell, and needs to be in a hospital – but Arkham is not shown as a hospital in any meaningful sense in the show. It’s an oubliette, where you send those you just can’t be bothered dealing with. It doesn’t look any better here than we’ve seen it before. Why hasn’t anyone tried to improve it? Again, they don’t have to succeed - if you’re determined to stick to canon, but why not suggest that Jim or Lee or Lucius has at least tried to have conditions improved or an official review launched into treatment of inmates? It would go a long way to nodding to the long and complex histories these characters have. However things ended – Lee and Ed had a pretty intense relationship. They cared about each other. She can sleep at nights knowing he’s in Arkham?

Jeremiah might have been clever enough to win himself a scholarship and a way out of the circus – but it’s not enough to enable him to escape his past – either explicitly, when he was hunted down by his resentful brother, or implicitly – when he winds up in a similar situation to the other outsiders. Yes, Jeremiah might have been manipulating the situation – but he was still sent to Arkham and left vulnerable to casual abuse. Whether it’s intended or not, Jeremiah’s accusation of abandonment can be read more deeply. Bruce left town - but, just like Oswald and Ed, the city in general abandoned him.

Selina’s an example who, I would argue, reinforces that this moral order of the universe. She's always been depicted more ambiguously - capable of villainous acts, but tied to the heroes through her bond with Bruce. This is reflected in what we learn about her here. Like Jeremiah, she's been punished by Bruce's abandonment, but her grey heroic status means that she doesn't lose her freedom, despite living a life of crime.

So what picture are we painted of the city?

Aubrey James is back in charge - corrupt as Oswald ever was as mayor, but less competent. The city’s remains were picked clean by Barbara - it’s now seemingly largely owned and controlled by two scions of the city’s elite. The commissioner’s got more than one murder to his name. His wife has one attempted murder to hers - giving her the benefit of the doubt and assuming that Sofia’s still in her coma. Arkham’s still a hellhole.

What does all that say? Like I said before, you can argue that this was the inevitable endpoint – but you’ve changed the story already, so that doesn’t wash.

What you’re left with is the outsiders comprehensively punished. You can sacrifice your chance at escape and an easy life in favour of standing shoulder to shoulder to defend the city, you can be unwell, you can be a victim – doesn’t count. No matter what you do – you’ll always be an outsider anyway. You can’t win for losing. Some are chosen, some aren’t. And if you’re not, tough luck.

So in this universe, why the hell not don a showy suit and your best hat and commit yourself to villainy? Go for it, I say.

(Yes - I’m aware this is more analysis than it warranted, and it really just wanted to say ‘look Oswald has a monocle and Batman’s here now!’ - but I felt the need for venting meta)

#gotham commentary

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managician · 5 years ago

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ARC V Anniversary Day 12

Disccusion prompt: Favorite ships?

ARC V has really made me ship a lot of things, be it with or without taking canon into account just because of the potential, so buckle up ‘cause this is gonna be long. I kept it to a top 10 or otherwise I’d be here all day. Honorable mentions to prodigy and whistle, as they barely didn’t make it.

(PD this is a reupload because I realised the post wasn’t showing up properly, so if you’ve seen it before already I apologize)

With that out of the way, let’s go!

10. Natureshipping

I love many of the bgirl/bgirl ships so naturally I’d love all of them being together… Not only for the awesome aesthetic though, I also think their personalities would fit so nicely with each other and they’d like having the chance to meet and talk about everything they’ve gone through; I have so many fluffy headcanons for them and I really just wanna see them bonding and being happy together!

09. Frypanshipping

Probably the oddest ship in this list, I sure as hell didn’t expect to like them so much, but Crow really helped in making Shingo become a better person, and poor Shingo clutching onto his card post BB-arc the entire time made me so emotional. You could tell they had a good relationship and were very happy to be fighting together after that, they’re so cute.

08. Wingshipping

Look at these two precious babs… On a visual level they both have some of my favorite designs in all of ARC V and they’re both counterparts, so I was bound to at the very least consider pairing them up, but when they actually had a rather peaceful meeting in canon all things considered, and immediately valued each other? When you take into account all the possible fluff and angst you could make with setting these two into any scenario? I was soo sold. And they both share the egao philosophy, they’d definitely get along… It’s just fun to think about ideas with them.

07. Janushipping

I have a weak spot for Fusion/XYZ ships because I think there’s so much room for growth and forgiveness if done right, and while I didn’t expect Dennis and Ruri to actually have some backstory together, this relationship has all I could wish for both of their characters. It adds personal conflict to their stories (especially on Ruri’s side, something that isn’t about being related to Shun or Yuto) and leaves room for Dennis to be able to apologize and improve himself after the war; not to mention their aesthetics mesh beautifully together. It’s so easy to picture them awkwardly falling back into an acquaintanceship and figuring out together where to go from there.

06. Fruitshipping

aka the ‘these two care so fucking much for each other, I don’t know how you can watch arc v and at the very least not appreciate their relationship’ ship.

I don’t know what to say that hasn’t been said about them already, honestly. I was admittedly… Reticent, let’s say, to ship this at first, because the relationships between the protagonist and lead girl in YGO shows tend to be lackluster at best for me, but they built each other up as equals from day one and have a genuinely heartwarming friendship, where they know they can lean on each other for support no matter what. They’re one of the most important people for the other and you can feel that throughout the entire show. To this day they hold the honour of being the only protag/main girl ship I can stand romantically.

Though… since they’re so well-executed in canon, I don’t feel the need to seek fanworks of them because there’s no real conflict in their relationship, if that makes sense, haha.

05. Mysteryshipping

This is sort of to be expected as I enjoy all the relationships between this trio separately (even if Yuto/Yuzu’s was short-lived); this shot in the 2nd ED is what got me to even become interested in the OT3 potential, though it was after I finished the show. Yuzu had clearly been having a period of self-doubt in S1 because of the Yuto situation, and thanks to episodes 36-37 we got a wonderful showcase of how well Yuto and Yuya would have clicked, so if Yuzu happened to explain her problem to either of them and caused them to meet in not-so-tragic circumstancies… You can only dream of the possibilities. And thanks to their bonds being established early on, you can expand on them during or post canon events, both in a positive and negative light. We’ve seen teamwork and discussions between all of them already; it’s fun to try to translate that dynamic into a three-way interaction (cranky but overly protective Yuto being dragged around by his two enthusiastic Standard S/Os who also happen to love each other very much, for one).

04. Musicboxshipping

Gosh, these two are just so cute together. Sora was heavily influenced by both Yuya and Yuzu, but you can tell their relationship is really important by the way they both act with each other, especially during the Synchro Arc. Sora taught Yuzu how to Fusion Summon and thanks to that Yuzu was able to become stronger; but Sora also was able to form a solid connection with her and basically made his first true friend in all of his life. They support each other and care about each other so much that even after they know of Sora’s true colours, Yuzu still has blind faith in him, and Sora returns that feeling by saving her from her Duel crash and even being unable to carry the mission Academia gave him because he treasured their friendship that much. Their little master/apprentice moments are adorable and really give off the fluffy energy these two have around each other; and of course Sora’s Mad Chimera and Yuzu’s Bloom Prima dancing together was beautiful too! That was such a lovely scene that made me really appreciate the trust they have in each other.

03. Swiftshipping

I shipped them together from the moment I learned both of them had been kidnapped, and I was really happy when I saw that their designs fit well with each other’s color scheme. They’re both very caring for people they hold close and since there was no indication of the opposite, for the longest time I assumed they were in a cell together. Imagining both of them trying to comfort and support each other through their predicament got me really invested in their possible relationship, and even if it didn’t turn out like I’d hoped in the end, I still had a solid grasp on their personalities by that time, and I couldn’t let go of all the AUs and concepting I’d made for them. It should be said that I have a really weak spot for f/f ships, and this one hit many of my favorite tropes (stuck in same bad situation where they both would try to be strong for each other’s sake, different growing-up backgrounds; to name a few) so my investment only went up from there. I love them so much.

02. Triggershipping

I didn’t expect them to interact much, much less positively, and much less for them to grow to care for each other so much in a short span of time. They have such a friendly and beautiful relationship; Yugo hugging Yuzu because he thought she was Rin and poor Yuzu becoming a blushing mess was a sure way to make me interested from the get go in them, haha. And it only got better from there! Even though she was a complete stranger to him, Yugo still tried to comfort Yuzu to the best of his abilities and looked out for her, fully trusting everything she said, even if to someone else it would’ve sounded like a crazy story. And you can tell Yuzu grows very comfortable with being around Yugo; their small scene with the domestic bantering and her pulling out her fan says that much, as she only uses it with people she really cares for. Whenever they’re on screen together you know you’re gonna be in for a good time, their interactions are always funny and heartwarming.

Yugo saying that Yuzu will always live on his heart in a similar manner to what Yuri said of Rin made me realise how much she really meant to him, and both of them cheering for each other in their Friendship Cup duels was adorable. But if you put their situation into context their relationship is… really sad, as Yugo has lost Rin and Yuzu is all by herself in an unknown dimension. They have that perfect mix of fluff and angst to work with that I love in ships. I adore their relationship; even if it was born out of less than desirable circumstancies, they made it work and learned to appreciate and love each other. It’s always a source of inspiration for me!

(And Yugo’s lack of knowledge of what personal space is just made it even easier to ship them)

01. Counterpartshipping

ARC V has always had the uncanny ability of making me consider ships in the span of a single episode because of the wonderful character interactions. But these two… These two really take the cake. I’m not exaggerating when I say the relationship and development between them has made me cry.

Anyone who has heard me talk about YGO may know how much I like them. As I mentioned in a previous post where I talked about my favorite characters, I hadn’t expected to enjoy Yuto’s character so much, and much less this ship. Yuto remains a latent force of encouragement for Yuya during the entire show; as Reiji beautifully points out on his duel with Yuya after the Battle Royale fiasco, Yuya’s immediate connection with Yuto thanks to their shared ideology was the bond that allowed him to perform a XYZ Summon. His concern for Yuto in episode 37 was so palpable that it hurt; Yuto went from being some random shady dude who was beating up his friend Sora to a kind damaged person who believed in Yuya’s potential to make people happy in a way that he no longer could. It’s really interesting for me to analyse how deeply they affected each other in a short span of time. We’d seen that Yuto was a very protective person thanks to his interactions with Yuzu, so when he said that he didn’t want to hurt anyone else and ended up protecting Yuya at the cost of his own life… It drove the point home, Yuto really saw Yuya as someone worth protecting and that made it so much more painful.

Yuya also later on refers to their dialogue as a vow/promise, despite the fact that Yuto never said so, which really shows just how much thought he put into his words; to the point where those very words managed to snap him out of Berserk Mode when he was about to fight Sora. It really moved me, and the soul-crushing sensation I felt then stayed fresh in my mind right until the final season, which made me fall in love with them even more. They argued, they had fallouts, but their undying trust for each other still rose through all the problems. Yuto trusted Yuya so much that he essentially told him he was okay with falling to darkness because he knew Yuya would be okay and he’d still believe in him no matter what; that moment nearly made me actually tear up because it shows how much they’d helped each other grow.

They’re hands down one of the, if not my most favorite ship in all of the YGO series, and they’ve spurred my creativity so much. I love making AUs or analysing their interactions. They made me interested in creating content for other people to enjoy after I’d hit a stalemate 5 months ago, I’ll just never be able to express how much I love them and how grateful I am that they got to meet.

#arcvanniversary #ygo arc v #arc v #yugioh arc v #long post #you can tell these get longer as the list goes on because i have so many feelings and tbh im not sorry i love all the relationships

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banncrbraincd-blog · 7 years ago

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NOTICE —

as i’ve recently stated , i’m working to revive juliette’s muse. in order to do so , i’m making some changes . some small , some large . please feel free to chat with me if you have any questions , but i would like to clarify that none of these changes ought to be taken in a personal manner should they apply to you ! which i know probably sounds shady , but i’m really in need of some flexibility to explore juliette as a character . i’ve been writing her since i was 15 , and while she has undergone many a transformation , i’ve maintained certain traits and things more out of habit or a sense of i have to , it’s been so long than it actually feeling right for her . again , please , take none of this personally . i’ve gone through major personal life changes this year which have deeply effected this muse as well .

ONE —

an updated dossier . unlike previous drafts , juliette’s place of birth is no longer listed as new mexico , nor was she raised on an army base . new canon will list her hometown as willowdale , virginia , home of culver university . she had contact with her grandfather only during major holidays . additionally , and importantly , her sexual and romantic orientations have been changed . while previously she was listed as bi , reflection has me shifting to back to what it was when she was first developed as a muse , which is heterosexual and heteroromantic . additionally , details regarding her mental health have been updated .

TWO —

regarding ships . as i’ve been gone , many of ships have fallen to the wayside . for that , i apologize . given i am making some major changes to juliette , i feel it will be the fairest to me and to my muse to , at least for now , transition to a single ship dynamic with my current main . please know that i love and value each and every muse and individual who this may apply to , and i hope we can continue to explore dynamics outside of a romantic sense between our muses . again , i’ll be glad to discuss this with you personally and i may return to a multi ship blog at some point in the future , but for now , i feel this is most fair to everyone given my lack of time to be here and my inconsistent muse .

THREE —

activity notice . until otherwise stated , this blog is on a semi - hiatus / low activity . i work a full time job , and due to some health issues , am not always feeling up to being on even when i do have free time . i do not want to stress about how quickly i reply , who i owe , etc . while i will of course keep tabs on such , i ask that if you value me as a partner , you respect this . when i have the muse to write , i will write . if you see me on the dash posting everything other than replies , please know i am not ignoring you because i dislike you . i may simply lack the physical , mental , or emotional energy to write the way i want to . thank you .

#░ ✧°·⑈ ᵒᵒᶜ┊❛ caffeine and cardigans. ╯ᶜᵃⁱᵗˡʸⁿ.#♥♥♥

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strangesmallbard · 8 years ago

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1, 2, 7, 15, 25, 28, 37. you don't have to answer them all! I'm very curious and I love your fic!

ghfgGHF thank you so much!! this made me smile oh gosh. i’m sorry this is so late, i haven’t been on anything but tumblr mobile in a good while and i tend to only lurk on there.

1. Describe your comfort zone– a typical you-fic.

swan queen LMAO. anything with a lot of women tbh, i haven’t completed a fic with a dude narrator in so long. romance could probably be considered a comfort zone even though it’s not irl. i love writing one-shots, and they’re either in a short prose style w/ more humor and attention to dialogue or long-winded, almost stream of consciousness. i usually write aus these days for ouat lmao, but i also like working w/ canon if there’s something interesting i want to expand on. i’m also trying to get more comfortable writing multichaps w/ longer plots! it’s challenging bc my brain is a mess, but v fun.

2. Is there a trope you’ve yet to try your hand at, but really want to?

hmm, nothing super in particular comes to mind. maybe best friends to lovers? snowed-in? i’ll keep thinking on this one. i recently wrote a meetcute in the airport, and that was really fun.

3. Share a snipped from one of your favorite pieces of prose you’ve written and explain why you’re proud of it.

hoo boY i think this section from “there’s always love if you need it,” which is a year in the life fic post emma breaking up w/ ho0k. i like this bit bc i feel good about the descriptions, imagery, and i feel pretty solid about the characterization which is rare bc i’m always nervous about that.

winter,

After Emma leaves Killian, she considers leaving Storybrooke. It wouldn’t be forever, she reasons, just to get her bearings, walk along once familiar streets in the skin of a once familiar life. She used to be a lot of someones and no-ones, and now she doesn’t know what shape tomorrow will take.

But she doesn’t leave. She finds herself driving to 108 Mifflin Street and ringing the doorbell. Regina answers and Emma is brought back to her last someone, when nervous, confused energy burned in her belly and something like hope burned equally bright in her chest. She didn’t know it was that word, then.

“Emma,“ she says, not Ms. Swan. “I heard.” Concern curves the end of the consonant, and Regina shifts her weight from one foot to the other. Her hand grasps the door frame, maroon nail polish catching cool porch-lamp light.

Emma wants to say, I was ready. Emma wants to say, I felt hollowed out like a pumpkin during halloween, all my everything somewhere else and I don’t know where. Emma wants to say, I’m tired.

She says, “Still have that glass of the best apple cider I’ve ever tasted?”

(regina’s smile is like sunset along the maine coast; gradual, soft, picture-worthy but you don’t want to spare a moment looking away.)

“Of course.”

15. If you could choose one of your fics to be filmed, which would you choose?

god “when in the chronicle of wasted time.” regina saving emma w/ true love’s kiss. can you imagine. GOD

25. What do you look for in a beta?

oh man i haven’t Officially Looked for a beta in a long time. usually i pass it off to trusted friends and i’m like PLEASE TEAR THIS APART. what i would look for though is someone with a similar style?

28. Share three of your favorite fic writers and why you like them so much.

oh gosh!! i love so many that i’m gonna expand this a little bc even in swen i have so many. so here’s three swen, two non-swen.

amycarey, deemn, skywideopen, wagyubeefy, and montparnasse!

what i love about amycarey’s fic is that emma and regina (and their relationship) are still so recognizable in every single au. like, no matter what the premise is, it’s like AH YES THERE THEY ARE. and all of her aus!!! some of my favorite sq fics. down the rabbit hole was such a beautifully written and healing fic, it’ll stay with me always.

deemn’s fics are like…gosh every single word she puts together in a sentence. i feel SO much. if you like swan queen and haven’t read who needs shelter yet please read who needs shelter please let that fic be part of your life.

skywideopen wrote an AMAZING sw!dw fic that was absolutely everything i ever wanted out of a sq!dw fic, it was so emma and regina i cried, and it was also so true to the dw universe! spark is absolutely amazing.

wagyubeefy writers wicked fic and it’s !!! wicked was my first fandom and i always wanted a modern oz au, and boy does wagyubeefy have modern oz aus! they translate the issues of wicked to a society that also deeply reflects ours and has an incredible take on elphaba, glinda, and every character and have such a seamless, clear way of telling stories and !! so awesome.

montparnasse writes for hp, dragon age, and other fandoms and their narration/use of language is so gorgeous, like. i can’t even convey. they write rarepairs for hp like tonks/fleur and ginny/luna and each fic has just so much beautiful imagery and description and characterizations. GOSH wow.

37. Talk about your current wips.

aah!! unfortunately they are Very wips bc i have no time until the summer to work on any of them. but! here they are.

“one step, not much (but it says enough)” is my first tentative step back into multichaps, and one chapter is released already! the premise is that henry goes away to college, and emma/regina suddenly are confronted with their feelings w/ each other and It’s a Mess, also someone is trying to destroy sb, so that’s a mood. it’s also solidly in the romcom genre w/ some very sharp/sad moments, and i’m having so much developing sb into the hilarious mess it should be. the parks department hates the charmings. lesbian nights at the rabbit hole

unnamed as of now but i lovingly call it the “disaster road trip au” even though the road trip is only half the fic. it’s a college au and the basic premise is that emma and regina dated in highschool, they break up, emma moves away, years later in college she runs into zelena and they miraculously start a wild friendship. over winter break they take a road trip and end up having to pick up regina along the way and it Is A Mess and i’m excited to write it.

unnamed parks and rec au. if you’re on twitter u might have heard of this one, but regina is leslie, emma is ben, marian is ann, mm is chris, and hook is jamm.

that x files au i think i’ve been working on since last summer OH boy. regina is mulder and emma is scully but they’re also both mulder and both scully. one day i’ll figure it out.

#anonymous #ask

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