#they called the wind god Garfield | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

megamangxtheadventure · 2 years ago

Text

MAGE CHONiCLES CHAPTER 24 MAGE SUPER FORM UNLEASHED

sunak fired a pure conceratred beams of maths energy while zane blasted him with pistols “THE S BLADE HAS A HACK BLOOD CHARGE!!!!!!!” he chrgarted the hack blood and blowed away 100s of psykos in one hit

suella braverman takened out a gun shotgun “i will send you back to the boats you little basterd” she snizzled and fired but robbie rotten kicked her in the face “theres only room for one villain here!” he pointed and windmill kicked her over and over

“WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS WHY MUST YOU HAVE TOMAKIE PEOPLE SUFFER THIS SO PAIN!” megaman gx beged to know.

kemi banerdock laughed “why becuse suffering is the point we want people to suffer and have no rights and be in pain becuse the suffering energy will bring our dark god into the world GOREFIELD!!” she laughed and megamangx had a look that was the horror “GOREFIELD ARE YOU INSANE IN THE BRAIN IT IS THE MOST EVIL ELDRERITCH HORROR OUT THERE IT WOULD BRING THE VOID OF LIGHT AND END EVERYTHING”

sunak fired more maths energy at megamangx while zane had gun fight with kenmi baderdock “theres too many psykos they keep coming” zane shouted holding his grounder as 900 psyko syndicate members had comed

yukari joined the fight and suddanly remilia scarlet was there too “don’t worry megamangx we’ll help you fight the psykos you just deal with the torys” re,milia smiled and fired red spears of magic into them killing lots of the psykop heavy weapon solders.

“suffer suffer suffer THERE WILL BE MNO JOY FOR HUMANITY NO MORE FUN NO MORE GOOD TIMES JUST AN AGE OF ETERNAL MISERABLE AND PAIN HAHAHAHA!” laughed the insane prime minister.

megamanGX was filled with angry and remembered the magi books “the power of the elemants the true mage forms i must focus and draw from new power TO GAIN MY MAGE SUPER FORM!” megamanGX glowed as magic runes floted around his body “elemetnss of fire wind water ice and void i call to you and the crystals”

MEGAMANGX glowed WITH LIGHT AND ELEMANTS AS THE CIRCLED AND HE TURNED INTO HIS MAGE SUPER FORM WITH A SILVER WIZARD ROBE AND WIZARD HAT “ELEMANTAL JUSTICE STORM!” he shouted bringing a rain of fire and ice onto the tory party members hurting them real bad

“what is this he is not meant to unlock his mage forms kill him now!” screamed sunak

megaman gx kicked him in the face as he flyed into a tree real hard “i am the hope of the world the light of the crystals of magic and the end of suffering, you will pay for all the people you hurt for your culture war” megaman gx flashstepped and began punching him at high speeds

with the way cleared zane used the hackblood talisman and blew all the psykos up “you messed with zane now its time to pay the price” Zane grin and blasted kemi banderdock and suella braverman away as they crashed into a boat and exploded into explosions “at least you stopped the boats haha” zane laughed.

MegamanGX turned off his super form and joined the others “if they want to bring gorefield back thats bad news” said megamangx

Robbie rotten did not know the name “gorefiled what is that?”

Yukari looked nervsous but had to tell him “many years ago one of megamangx mentors who we joined with on a few missions years ago, a super sayian wolf called Vash but also called codename blade was tracking down an evil edlerich eniety called gorefield its not like garfield but his dark counterpart made up of all the evil garfield varianats from the multiverse you see everytime there is a good garfield there is energy that goes to make the gorefield” yukari sai

megamang gx looked at the sky “me and vash blade tried to stop it back then but it was to powerful almost destoryed contntess worlds so we had to work with a powerful girl lain to seal it away”

“lain the most powerful hacker ever, the hack blood masters have only heard of her in legend some say she doesn’t even exist” zane was surprisnised to hear that name.

“that is right only the most powerful hack blood masters ever knew even the name becuse lain feared her hacker powers so she sealed herself away and erased her name from peoples mind to stop the evil of the world from abusing her powers” yukari siad.

megamangx ofolded his arms “lets go to the human village i want a pepsi afgter that” and they all laughed

one day ago

Cat boy sans was in chains beaten as a bald pattern sunglasses man was smoking a cigar and cover in gold chains “hey boy hey boy you mess with me you messin with top g” he said and booted catboy sans with hard as he couthed up blood

“i will never betray megamangx or tell you how to break the gorefield seals” catboy sans couthed and the baldy man punched him.

he lighted up enother cigar “i’ll teach you not to fuck with andrew tate you betyter give me what i want to know OR YOU A GONNA DIE!” andrew tate slapped him

there was a group of 12 year olds with there hair shaved bald wearing andrew tate shirts sunglasses and gold chains “listen up kids you want to be true top gs like me then you gotta k ill this son of a bitch a real man a real alpha he kills people cold blood style” andrew tate ordered as the 12 year olds started kicking the wounded catboy sans.

“THATS RIGHT YOU GOTTA KILL HIM DON’T BE A PU SSSY HIT EM HARD KILL HIM HIT THAT FUCKER HARDER YOU WANT TO BE AN ALPHA LIKE ME RIGHT!” Andrew hate laughed watching his radcialized fans beating catboy sans to death

one buy was scared “i don’t want to kill him its not nice” the boy said and andrew tate grabed him by the neck “you want to die instead you want to die as a beta male boy?”

THE boy cryed “no sir i dont wanna”

Andrew tate throwed him to the grounmd ��then kill him or your not a real man DO IT YOU LITTLE SHIT” andrew tate said as the bot kicked catboy sans over and over u ntil he was dead

“there your becoming a real man now like me just make sure to keep paying your month fees for the program” andrew tate shed poofing his cigar and a man with a mushtash comed in wearing red and black overhalls and the mario hat but it was black and had the andrew tate cobra logo

“good a work with the a kids you are making them stonger for the a new world a world where a weakness will be a purged” SAID MARIO!

andrew tate poured mario a whiskey and they sat looking over the night city “you have learned well from me Mario i am glad you embraced the darkness being a hero made you weak” said andrew tate

m,ario pufed a cigar “i was a weak as a hero but your programs made me an an a alpha and lots of money now i will make sure i get my a money and anyone that gets in my way will a b e destoryed” mario said

Andrew tate looked over the body of catboy sans “send this beta cucks to the tory party as a massage to megaman gx” andrew tate ordered his followers,

mario looked at city and puff cigar “it is a new world a cruel a world only those who a embace pain and stength will a survive and a soon all that is a good will burn” said mario.

to be continued.

#megamangx the adventure #megaman gx #fanfiction #fan fiction #fanfic #mario #slayers x terminal aftermath #Zane rocks #zane lofton #Yukari Yakumo #remilia scarlet #robbie rotten #andrew tate #catboy sans #sans undertale

4 notes · View notes

mint-moon25 · 2 months ago

Video

youtube

Forget About Takeout And Make This Kung Pao Chicken Instead!

WHO - THE - SELLER - IS

BETTER - START - WITH - AMAZON - PRIME

REMEMBER - OTHER - SLIME?

GLAD - THEY - WERE - BOUGHT

MADE - NULL - THEIR - WEBSITE

SO SMARTPHONE - DEPENDENT

SHOCKED - ABOUT - THEFT

WHEN - STOLEN - BYE - BYE?

MADE - VOICE - TOLL - FREE

CANCELLATION - NO - BECAUSE

NO - CONTRACT - ‘BILLIONS’

GOT - AWAY - FR - THOSE - YES

PAST - MONSTERS ...

BETTER - RESTART

AMAZON - PRIME - MEMBERS

WHO - THE - SELLER - IS

QUITE - IMPORTANT

ULTRA MOBILE

SELLER - MINT MOBILE

ACTOR - RYAN REYNOLDS - OWNER

ABOUT - TIME

WHEN - 3 MONTHS - REQUIRED

THEN NOT - $15.95 - EA MONTH

REQUIREMENT - VOICEMAIL

4 - NEW - SALES ???

ULTRA MOBILE - NEW - THING

VOICEMAIL

U - MUST - GO - THERE

U - CAN’T - JUST - DELETE ALL

NOW - I - AGREE ...

2 VOICEMAIL

AFTER - RAPED - BLUDGEONED

LIKE - BAKERY

MIAMI - MIDGET - MALE

‘RUN - WITH - THE - WIND

BOXING - BREAK?’

IT’s - DARK

MALE - OR - FEMALE - WHO - BOXED

YOU?

MIAMI - MIDGET - MALE - LOW - GPA

NO - BLEEDING - COMES - FR

BOXING - MA’M - AGE 59

‘WE - NEED - IT’

LOOKED - AT - BREASTS - OF ASIA?

‘HEROES - OF - REPUBLICAN - PARTY

OF - FLORIDA’

LIKE - BAKERY - NUMBERS

LOUD - ‘NEXT’ - WHO - NEEDS THEIR

HELP - THEY’RE - ALREADY - THERE?

ULTRA MOBILE - VOICEMAIL

PRESS 1 - MAYBE - ENTER

VOICEMAILS

SAYS - ‘STATE’

LIKE - OHIO

WELL - CLICK - ( 7 )

FEMALE - ‘MESSAGE - DELETED’

2ND - VOICEMAIL

WIX - BUSINESS - PLAN - $43 - MONTHLY

MALE - PINOY - ‘CHRISTIAN’

YOU - KNOW - BEVERLY HILLS - HIGH SCHOOL

HOTTEST - NEWCOMER

‘HIS - NAME - IS - CHRISTIAN’

PILIPINAS - BA - NAMAN

10,000 - BOYS - NAMED - CHRISTIAN - SOON ...

‘HOT - NAMES’ - GOD - HOT - PRETTY EYES

BEVERLY HILLS - CA - 90210

PAID - IN - FULL - HOUSES

RESIDENTIAL - PROPERTY - TAXES - THEIR

PAY - THEIR - POLICE - DON’T - ASK - 2 YES

CONFIRM - FR - ANY - AMERICAN - FEMALE

BEVERLY HILLS - POLICE

LANGUAGES - ENGLISH - FRENCH

MALIBU - CALIFORNIA

MALIBU - BEACH

JURISDICATION - SHERIFFS

NOT - LAPD - LOS ANGELES - POLICE

THEY - HAVE - RESTAURANTS THERE

BARBIE - MOVED - FR - CHEESE STATE

WISCONSIN - 2 - SOUTHERN CALIFORNIA

OLDER - STATE

FORMER - SLAVES - OWNER - COUNTRY

WELL - GIVE - THEM - UP - 2 - JOIN

THE - UNITED STATES

CALIFORNIA - ‘OKAY’

BECAME - US - STATE

NORTHERN - CA - LAKE TAHOE - WARM

SNOW - SPECTACULAR - BEAUTY

SEE - THRU - WATERS

PROBLEM - WITH - CA

NICE - TREES - WATER - VIEWS

ILLEGAL - VIOLATES - 8TH - AMENDMENT

‘CRUEL - AND - UNUSUAL - PUNISHMENT

INFLICTED’

WARNING - DOGS - NOT - ALLOWED

WALKING - RUNNING - OBSERVING

DOGS - NOT - ALLOWED - PRESENCE

GLAD - (GARFIELD)

NOT - THERE

WARNING - NO - CATS - ALLOWED

EITHER - EQUAL - OPPORTUNITY

LAWS - NO ANIMAL - DISCRIMINATION

(SO - FAR - NOT - THERE)

MEOWS - VS - LOUD - BARKING

NOISY - DARGEROUS - BARKS BITING

BIG - MEAN - UGLY - MIXED - BREED

REVOLTING BAD BREATH - BIG DOGS

SO - PROBLEM - WITH - CALIFORNIA

ENTER - BARBIE - AND - HER FAMILY

BECAME - FIGHTERS - 4 - ANIMAL

RIGHTS - NOT - JUST - HUMAN RIGHTS

BARBIE - ANIMAL - ACTIVIST - FUTURE

EVERY - YEAR - THEY - STILL - VISIT

ESPECIALLY - 4 - CHRISTMAS THEIR

FRIENDS - RELATIVES IN WISCONSIN

ULTRA MOBILE

MOBILE - DATA

NOT - WI FI - FREQUENCY

CAN’T - WATCH - HALLMARK+ - APP

ENJOY - YOUTUBE - PREMIUM

DISNEY+ PREMIUM - VIKI PASS PLUS

PREMIUM - NO - ADS ... IMPROVED - 2

CHRISTA DI PAOLO - NEW - APP

ANDROID - APPLE - $14.95

SHE’s - THE - GREATEST

JUST - 2 - FAST - RIGHT - NOW

4 - ME - CHRISTA - IS - SO HOT

SHE - WOULD - RATHER - DIE

THAN - B - MIAMI - POLICE

ARMED - 2 - KILL

14TH - AMENDMENT - VIOLATORS

NO - US STATE - CAN - DEPRIVE A

PERSON - OF - LIFE

CALLING - ASIANS - SMALL - BREASTS

SMALL - EYES - UGLY ...

VIOLATES - 8TH - AMENDMENT

‘CRUEL - AND - UNUSUAL’

LOW - INCOME

DISCRIMINATION - OF - RACE

NATIONAL - ORIGIN - 1ST DEGREE

FELONIES - EACH - INCIDENT

MAJOR - $$$$ - FINES - EACH TIME

THEY - DON’T - DO - HOMEWORK 2

POLICE - COLLEGE

CRIMINAL - JUSTICE

ULTRA MOBILE

5G - 4G LTE

UNLIMITED - FREE - CALLING

GLOBAL - TEXT

OVER - 90 COUNTRIES

SOUTH KOREA - CHINA

JAPAN - SINGAPORE

THAILAND - HONG KONG - ISLAND

FRANCE - ENGLAND - BELGIUM

SWITZERLAND - ITALY - MORE

JESUS - IS - LORD

FIVE BELOW - NEW

6TH - FLOOR

AUDI - GROCERY - U - BRING YOUR

BAGS ...

PUBLIX - (WEIRDOS) - IN FRONT

OF - THEM - (ANY - CENTURY)

TARGET - IN - FRONT - ALSO

NOT - ONLY - HAS - STARBUCKS

INSIDE - HAS - GROCERY

IF - IT - AIN’T - BROKEN

I - ASKED - HISPANIC - PRETENDING

HE - DOESN’T - SPEAK - SPANISH IF

I - CAN - USE - MY - PUBLIX - GIFT

CARDS - FRIENDLY - SAID - ‘SURE’

IF - U - BROUGHT - THEM

I - SAID - ‘IT - HELPS’

JUST - KEEP - LIKE

‘CONFESSIONS - OF - A - SHOPAHOLIC’

JUST - KEEP - SLIDING

WE - USED - 2 - THROW - AWAY

PUBLIX - EMPLOYEES - NOTICED ...

WE - TOLD - ASIAN - SMALL - BREASTS

SAID - PUBLIX - HISPANICS - WITH

HAIR - DANDRUFFS ...

AS - CASHIERS

ALWAYS - WITH - MIAMI - POLICE

THEIR - NEIGHBORS

ILLEGALLY - CLOSED - EASTER

SUNDAY - CHRISTMAS

FREEDOM - OF - IT

FREE - OF - RELIGION

WALMART - WHOLEFOODS

PUBLIX - WILL - HAVE - 2 - CHOOSE

EITHER - ONLY - OPEN - WEEKENDS

ALL - HOLIDAYS - OPEN

OR - ONLY - OPEN - WEEKDAYS

ALL - HOLIDAYS - OPEN

OR - VACATE - BUSINESS PROPERTY

WITH - DUE - HASTE

US TREASURY

SEVERENCE - PAY - HANDED

MARTIAL - LAW - MIDNIGHTS

US - ARMY - WHILE - STILL - FUNDED

BRIEF - MARTIAL - LAW

HISPANICS - BLKS - LAUGH - ABOUT

PARIS - FRANCE

BASTILLE DAY

UNEMPLOYED - FAMILIES

PREGNANT - WOMEN - STARVING

CHILDREN - DEHYDRATED FAINTED

SO ACUTE - THEIR - HUNGER SNOW

PUBLIX - WILL - B - REVOKED - OF

‘WHERE - SHOPPING - IS - A - PLEASURE’

1 MILLION - EMPLOYED

AUTO - REMOVING - OF - SIGNS - ADS

EVERYWHERE - MACHINE - HELP ...

DEMOCRATIC - PARTY

ADOLPH HITLER - AUSTRIA - GERMANY

‘WHO - ARE - THE - OWNERS?’

CAFES - RESTAURANTS - HOSPITALS

GROCERIES ...

ALL - 18 AND OLDER

HOSPITALS

KIDS - DEAD

NO - 18 AND OLDER - 2 - PAY - BRING

THEM - AS - EUROPE - DWINDLED IN

POPULATION - NO - THEY - LAUGHED

LITTLE - CHILD - ADOLPH HITLER

BORN - IN - AUSTRIA

FOUND - OUT

JEWS - OWNED - ALL - THESE

PLACES

APPENDIX - REMOVAL

EXAMPLE - $5 MILLION - FEE

BASTILLE - DAY

PARIS - FRANCE

CHRISTIAN - ADOLPH HITLER

AND - HIS - CHRISTIAN FRIENDS

GERMAN - CITIZENS

HITLER - BECAME - GERMAN

THEY - AND - MORE

MASSACRED - OVER - 6 MILLION

JEWS - AS - CHRISTIANS

ITS - CALLED - ‘RAGE - OF - KIDS’

MIAMI - POLICE

THEY - DON’T - READ

THEY - WON’T - LIVE - LONG

WHO - READS - DAILY - LIVES

LONGER - THAN WHO - DON’T

UNITED NATIONS - HAVE - CAPTURED

COURTS - 2 - DECLARE - GUILTY

CAPTURED - MANY - US POLICE

DICTATORS - GENERALS - KINGS

MANY - CRIMINALS

ROTTEN - GANGS - VUDU WEIRDOS

CAPTURED - CULTS - DOES - NOT

EXCLUDE - MIAMI - POLICE - DEPT

CAPTURING - 2 - EXECUTE

DEAR - KOREAN - GIRLS,

UNITED NATIONS - SAFER - IN

PARIS - FRANCE

THEIR - FRENCH - NO 1 - BEST

SOUNDING - LANGUAGE - IN

THE - WORLD

LONG LIVE - UNITED NATIONS

UNITED - AS - DIFFERENT YES

KINDS - OF - PEOPLE - 2

ANNIHILATE - CRUELTY

THESE - BLKS - HISPANIC

THIEVES & MURDERERS

TO - JULIUS CAESAR

ROMAN - EMPEROR

‘WHEN - U - MUST - B - ARMED

OBEDIENCE - IS - BETTER

THAN - SACRIFICE’

SOLUTION - AGAIN?

U - KNOW - WOOD - AND - SMALL

ARROWS - READY - 2 - ISSUE - IN

FRONT

NARNIA - ARCHERIST - SMALLEST

KIND - ARCHERY - ARROWS - THE

FASTEST - RESCUE - ALSO

DAGGERS - THROWN - AT - ONCE

LOTS - OF - SMALL - DAGGERS 2

THROW - AT - THAT - STAGE

THEN - ARCHERS MASTERY

HOW - 2 - DO - THAT - LIKE

THE - OTHERS - WATCHED

A - STAGE

I - GUESS - ALL - POLITICIANS

ONLY - MALES - ALLOWED - 2

IT’s - ITALY?

JULIUS CAESAR - TODAY

‘NO - ASSEMBLY - ALLOWED IN

ITALY - ESPECIALLY - ROME’

GATHERING - OF - MANY

ANY - REASON - I - GUESS

2 - DANCE - ON - STREET

4 - OR - MORE - FOR - GOD

ADDED - HIM - IN - BIBLE

BIBLE - ‘RENDER - 2 - CAESAR

WHAT - BELONGS - 2 - CAESAR

(JULIUS) - AND - RENDER - 2

THE - ONLY - TRUE - GOD - NO

ONE - HIGHER - THAN - THE

MOST - HIGH - THE - INVISIBLE

GOD - OF - ISRAEL - WHAT YES

BELONGS - 2 - HIM - GOD

ALMIGHTY THE HIGHEST’

REVISED

DR JERRY SAVELLE

THE - FAVOR - GIVEN - HIS LIFE

THE - LEGACY & BLESSED LIFE

24 DEC BLAH BLAH - YEAR 2024

JIMMY CARTER

FORMER - PRESIDENT - AND YES

COMMANDER - IN - CHIEF OF THE

ARMED - FORCES - OF THE

REPUBLIC - OF THE - UNITED

STATES - OF - AMERICA

HIS LEGACY - AND - HIS - LIFE

IN - LOVING - TRIBUTE

... - AND - YEAR - 2024

‘TO - PRESIDE - OVER - THE

UNITED STATES’

STILL - HAVE - SOME - FORGETFULLNESS

YOU’LL - B - FINE - SPIRIT - AIRLINES

THANK - YOU - DELTA - AIRLINES

#youtube

0 notes

spidey-stark · 3 years ago

Text

Peter Parker x Reader

Summary - Peter is late for yet another date with the reader and shows up to her apartment injured and finally ready to share his secret identity with them.

Warnings - Mentions of sex, mentions of blood

Word Count - 2,669

Authors Note - I’m still just madly in love with Andrew Garfield rn so I can’t stop writing bad one shots about tasm!Peter.

Three hours and thirty-seven minutes.

That’s how long I had been waiting on him. Over three-and-a-half hours of sitting cross-legged on the end of the my bed, patiently staring at the phone screen and hoping to see it light up with his contact picture. After the first hour had passed, though, that patience quickly began to morph into annoyance as I sent a somewhat passive aggressive text his way--once again getting no reply. But at least I still had some hope that he would eventually respond. However, by the time the second hour rolled around, most of that hope had been completely lost.

Being late once or twice is one thing. Things happen and I was well aware that people couldn’t always be as punctual as I might prefer. This wasn’t the first time that Pete had left me hanging without so much as a simple text though. Hell, it wasn’t even the first time this week that he had been late.

I stared blankly at the phone, reaching forward to tap the screen to make it light up, displaying my lockscreen. That picture was probably one of the only things that was keeping me from being totally furious with him.

It was hard to look at the picture that his Aunt May had snapped of the two of us without having all my anger fade away just a bit. The sight of the two of us after we had fallen asleep on their couch one night--his arms wrapped around me with his mouth wide open and my face buried in his chest--made it difficult to continue being mad at him. Staying mad at Pete had always been difficult. But lately it was less about being angry with him and more about feeling hurt.

Just as I leaned my head back slightly, my fingers pulling at my hair for probably the billionth time tonight, I felt my mattress vibrating from underneath my phone. Quickly, I snatched it off the bed, hitting the green button before it could even complete the first ring.

“What’s the excuse this time, Pete?” I sighed into the phone.

“I am so sorry-” it was hard to even hear what he was saying over the sound of wind blowing into the speaker, but even then it was still evident from his tone that the apology was genuine. “I swear I was going to call and let you know that I was going to be late but I just couldn’t find the time and then-”

“Save it.” I interrupted him. “Don’t worry about it tonight, ok? I get it. Things happen.”

“No!” Peter protested, groaning slightly. “I’m almost to your apartment and I promise that I’ll explain everything to you.”

I pulled the phone away from my face for a just a moment to check the time. “Peter it’s already eleven o’clock! Just go home.”

“Too late.” He stated just before the line went dead, a knock on my bedroom window causing my head to jolt in that direction.

You’ve got to be kidding me I thought as I jumped to my feet, rushing over to the window and throwing the curtains open to be met with Peters face, displaying his typical goofy over-exaggerated grin.

“What the hell Peter?” I pushed the window up so he could come in. “What are you doing? How did you even get here? We are literally fifteen stories up right now how the fuck did you manage to get to my window?”

Peter chuckled a bit, his voice coming out kind of breathy, “Can’t go giving you all my secrets, can I?”

As he went to climb through the window into my room I turned around, resting my hands in my hair once again as I went right back to nervously pulling at it. “You are seriously gonna drive me insane, Parker.” I began the anxious and frustrated rant we both knew was coming. “I mean, what, first you’re gonna scare the absolute hell out of me by showing up late as hell at my bedroom window and god knows how you even managed to get up here in the first place. And on top of that this is like-the fifth time that you have ditched me this week. Do you know how much that sucks Peter? How much it hurts? You don’t call. You don’t text. Nothing.” I shook my head slightly, my eyes glued to the ground and my back still turned to him. “Absolutely nothing.”

Peter remained silent for a moment, knowing that any response he had to give right now likely wouldn’t make me feel any better in this moment. “I know this is probably hard to believe but I promise that it hurts me just as much as it hurts you.”

Wrong response, Parker.

I quickly turned on my heal, already spouting off some nonsense about how he couldn’t possibly be saying such a stupid thing to me right now when he was the one that had been ditching me nonstop lately, but before I could even make my point I stopped mid-sentence at the sight of him. This was the first time I had looked in his direction since he had entered my bedroom, the light coming from my desk lamp allowing me to see what the streetlights from my window did not.

“Oh my god.” My voice was just barely above a whisper, my hand instinctively covering my mouth in shock as I took in what I was seeing. “What happened to you, Pete?”

Every ounce of anger in my body vanished in an instant at the sight of him standing there, his face covered in dirt and his hand pressing tightly onto his abdomen, his shirt soaked through with blood.

“No no-” Peter moved closer to me, lifting his hand that wasn’t covered in blood to place a finger against my lips to shush me, “Keep being angry! You have every right to be mad at me right now! So go for it! Keep screaming!”

I glared at him. “You’re intolerable.”

“Ah but you love that about me.”

Usually Peter’s cheeky comments were always enough to bring a smile to my face, but right now it was impossible to focus on anything other than the idea of my boyfriend bleeding out in the bedroom. I mean, how would I even begin to explain that to my parents?

“Please just tell me what happened to you because I am about five seconds away from having a full-blown panic attack.” I told him honestly, the shock wearing off just enough for me to come to my senses and help guide him over to the edge of the bed so he could sit down, sinking to my knees in front of him so I could look at the wound on his stomach.

“It’s just a little cut.” Pete said casually, brushing it off like he wasn’t bleeding on my comforter. “Besides, how am I supposed to focus on talking about literally anything when you look so good on your knees for me?”

I shot a cold look up at him, both of us knowing damn good and well that this was not the time for this. Without even acknowledging his remark I went to lift the bottom of his shirt, knowing that I obviously wasn’t going to get any answers out of him anytime soon. As the fabric lifted off the wound I heard him hiss, his teeth gritting together at the sensation shooting through his abdomen. “What the hell.” I muttered under my breath as I took a look at the gash on his side. “What did you do Pete?”

“Look,” Peter began, losing any trace of his once cocky and sarcastic tone. “I promise that I’ll explain. Cause I know this is a lot and I’m sorry but you were the only person I knew to come to with this. So could you please help me patch this up? Because believe it or not? This hurts like a bitch.”

“Trust me, I can believe it.” I quickly raised myself back up to my feet, “Wait here for a second.” He nodded in response as I snuck out of my bedroom door, careful not to make too much noise in fear of gaining my parents attention. I rushed to the bathroom as quickly as I could, gathering the few medical supplies we did have. Gauze, medical tape, some bandaids, and Neosporin. Was the Neosporin necessary? For something so deep? I wasn’t quite sure but I grabbed it anyways and grabbed a few cloths, dampening them before making my way back to my bedroom.

Peter was now sprawled out across the bed, his shirt now laying in a ball on the floor.

“Okay,” I started, swallowing hard as I once again glanced at the gash on his stomach. Maybe now would be a bad time to tell him blood makes me squeamish. “Here’s how this is going to work. I’m gonna work on keeping you from... dying. And you? Are going to explain what you were doing for this to happen.” I instructed.

“You don’t wanna keep talking about you being upset?” He leaned back up slightly, groaning at the feeling.

“Me being upset is actually the last thing on my mind right now.”

With that I sat all the supplies down by his feet, settling on the floor in-between his legs once again and beginning to get to work on cleaning him up, dabbing at the blood with one of the wet cloths. “So? Get to talking, Parker.”

“Okay-” He let out a deep breath. “Would you believe me if I told you that I’m actually a super-criminal? And I got this injury during my latest encounter with the law?”

I stopped wiping the blood off of him, shooting him a stern look as I went to grab the roll of gauze. “No.”

He hummed lightly, frowning a bit. “Fair enough. I would be a pretty bad criminal, don’t you think?”

“Peter I’m being serious here.” I told him as I lightly began to press the gauze against the wound, holding it in place with one hand while I reached for the medical tape with the other.

“Okay, okay.” He held his hands up defensively. “I’m Spider-Man.”

I paused, my hands pressing lightly against the piece of tape that I was sticking against the gauze and his skin, my eyes fluttering up to meet his.

“You don’t have a serious bone in your body, do you?”

“Why do you think I’m not being serious?”

“Pete you’re not Spider-Man.”

“Yes, I am.”

“This isn’t funny.”

“Good thing I’m not laughing.”

I narrowed my eyes at him before ripping off another piece of tape, securing it to his body to finish dressing his wound before quickly standing up. “Alright then Spidey-” I rolled my eyes as the word fell out of my mouth, “Go on. Prove it.”

“How do you want me to prove it?”

“I don’t know! If you’re Spider-Man then do some spider things!” I cried out, immediately regretting my loud tone as I remembered my parents who were asleep just down the hall.

“What are spider things?” He held up air quotes as he spoke, laughing a bit too hard as he spoke, his hand instinctively gripping his stomach in pain.

I shrugged at him. “How am I supposed to know? I’m not the one claiming to be Spider-Man!”

Peter threw his head back. “Well I’m not exactly in the condition to be doing... spider things.” he pointed towards the window, where he had obviously sat his backpack down on the way in. “Just look in there, alright?”

I didn’t want to be mad at him anymore. I had already spent so long tonight being pissed with him and seeing him injured at least made that problem go away for a bit, but now sitting here and watching him make this entire situation into a huge joke was just making the anger come back ten times worse than before. As I leaned down next to his backpack and began to unzip it he spoke up again, “Before you look-” I glanced over my shoulder at him, noting the look of genuine concern and... fear that painted his face. “just know that I’ve wanted to tell you about this for so long Y/N. Literally, so long.”

I didn’t respond to him, though his words did send a wave of anxiety crashing down on me. There was absolutely no way that Peter was being serious with all of this. No way at all. And yet as I unzipped the bag I found myself unable to breathe as I waited to see what was inside.

“Holy shit.” I breathed, eyes shifting back and forth between the contents of the bag and my boyfriend. “You...You’re not joking, are you?”

He responded with nothing more than a tight lipped smile, the fearful expression still there.

I reached in and grabbed the red mask, running my fingers over the white patches where his eyes would be. “This is so unfair.” I stated, my voice completely devoid of emotion. I could tell Peter was unsure of how to process my words, still obviously not knowing whether or not his admission was being taken well. “How am I supposed to be mad at you for being late if you are freaking Spider-Man?”

Peter sighed, a small chuckle following it, clearly somewhat relieved by my reaction. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner.”

I walked over to him, mask still in hand, and carefully crawled onto his lap and placed my free hand on his face. “You really should be. Being a superhero isn’t exactly the sort of thing you hide from your girlfriend, Pete.”

Peter snorted. “How are you being so cool with this? I expected you to flip out on me or-I don’t know-maybe even breakup with me or something. But you’re just... Being... You.”

“Ah, yeah. Well, I think I’m probably in shock from patching up a giant gash on my boyfriends stomach and then finding out that he can shoot webs from his wrists and swings around New York city on a daily basis.”

“Ya know what? That’s fair.” Peter nodded at me, wrapping his arms around my waist. “I’m just glad that you know now. Because I have seriously hated keeping this from you so much. Plus? It’s kinda nice to have my own personal nurse.” He winked playfully, lightly squeezing my sides.

“Yeah let’s not make a regular thing out of that one.” I replied quickly, knowing that my heart could only take so many times of Peter showing up to my bedroom window with blood all over him before it eventually just gives out.

“No promises.” He said as he pulled me into his body, burying his face into my chest and mumbling, “So you’re sure you are okay with this?”

I smiled to myself, running my hand through his hair. “To be honest? I don’t think I’ve really processed it yet.” I told him honestly. “But I think I can be. And at least in the future when you’re late for our dates I’ll know it’s because you’re out saving the city or something! But I do need you to promise me something.”

“What?” He spoke, his voice still muffled with his face pressed against me.

“It only seems fair that you make all of these missed dates up to me, right?”

Peter nodded his head in agreement. I leaned back a bit, forcing him to move his face away from my chest so he would look up at me and once he was looking I held up the Spider-Man mask with a devilish grin. “Fuck me in the suit?”

Peter’s eyes practically bulged out of his head at the words, his jaw falling slack and nodding rapidly.

“Hell yes.”

#peter parker imagine #tasm peter parker #peter parker imagines #peter parker one shot #peter parker fluff #peter parker smut #tasm imagine #tasm fanfiction #tasm peter x reader #peter parker x reader #the amazing spiderman #the amazing spiderman imagines #spiderman imagines #spiderman one shot #spiderman fluff #spiderman smut #andrew garfield imagine #andrew garfield one shot

693 notes · View notes

waitimcomingtoo · 5 years ago

Note

would it be too much to ask for another part of plank all over me? maybe this time is an autocomplete interview with both of them and there‘s rumors going around that they’re engaged or that she’s pregnant so they’re acting all mysterious for it... thank you so much ❤️ i loooove your stories!!

Plank All Over Me - Autocomplete Interview Edition

Pairing: Tom Holland x Reader

Synopsis: You and Tom do a WIRED autocomplete interview

Disclaimer: you do not have to have read the other parts to understand this, but check them out ;)

Plank All Over Me

Yoga Edition

Couples Tag

Prank Interview

Waitimcomingtoo Masterlist

“Hi, I’m Andrew Garfield.” Tom smiled at the camera.

“And I’m Emma Stone.” You blew a kiss at it.

“And this is our weird Autocomplete Interview.” Tom finished.

“It’s WIRED.” You giggled at his mistake.

“What’s wired?” Tom asked you.

“Nothing’s wired. The channel is WIRED.” You corrected. “You said “weird”.”

“My apologies.” Tom said to the camera and he rested his hand on your knee. “This is our WIRED Autocomplete Interview.”

“Dyslexic king.” You praised and Tom laughed.

“I like how these videos gradually get more and more chaotic as we make them.” He smiled at the thought of the other stupid videos you’d done together.

“I can’t wait to be 80 and playing with puppies over at Buzzfeed.” You joked.

“You and me both, darling.” Tom leaned in and kissed you. “Should we start with mine or yours?” He asked as he picked up the boards of questions.

“I like to save the best for last, so yours first.” You quipped and Tom gave the camera a blank stare.

“Isn’t she sweet?” Tom said sarcastically. You picked up his first board and peeled off the first strip of paper.

“Who is…Tom Holland.” Tom read off the board.

“I bet my mom was the one who googled that when I told her we were dating.” You said and Tom laughed.

“My mom probably googles “who does Tom Holland think he is?” when I’m acting up.” Tom added.

“Oh my God.” You covered your mouth with your hands. “Have I ever told you when your mom and I call you when you’re acting up?”

“No, what?” Tom inquired.

“No. I can’t.” You shook your head. “It’s our secret.”

“What? You have to tell me.” Tom shook your arm like a little kid. “Please?”

“Fine.” You sighed. “We call you Bitchy Elliot.”

“WHAT?” Tom screamed and you bent over laughing. “WHAT?”

“You wanted to know!” You reminded him.

“Bitchy Elliot? That’s not even clever.” He scoffed.

“It’s clever.” You disagreed. Tom picked up the board and dramatically ripped off a strip of paper.

“Who is Tom Holland…civil war.” You read amidst your giggles.

“Like who do I play?” Tom asked the camera.

“No, silly. They’re asking if you were on the North side or the South side of the American civil war.” You replied as if it were obvious.

“Oh, well I’m from Southwest-“ Tom began.

“The south was the racist side.” You interrupted.

“North.” Tom said definitively.

“I knew you didn’t know enough about American history to answer that question.” You laughed as you peeled the next strip off.

“Who is Tom Holland…girlfriend.” Tom read off the board.

“Whoever she is, I bet she loves proper grammar.” You poked fun at the phrasing.

“Y/n almost canceled our first date because I texted her and used the wrong form of “your”.” Tom told the camera.

“I think I was being completely reasonable.” You defended.

“Were you?” Tom squinted at you.

“Yes.” You answered and brushed his hair back. “Next question.”

“Where did Tom Holland…college.” Tom asked as he peeled the strip off.

“Oh God, where did Tom Holland college?” You asked in sarcastic amazement.

“I didn’t college.” Tom answered. “And I don’t think whoever asked this question did either.”

“Where did Tom Holland…meet Y/n.” You asked as you revealed the next question.

“We met over at BBC Radio 1 when we did the Plank All Over Me Challenge.” Tom replied with a smile.

“And I haven’t been unable to get rid of him since.” You said sadly. Tom rolled his eyes and peeled off the next question.

“Shut up.” He teased. “You love me.”

“Most days.” You agreed.

“Is Tom Holland…in the MCU.” Tom read off the board.

“He is!” You said excitedly. “I actually almost left the MCU when the Sony/Disney thing was going on because I didn’t want to be in it if Tom wasn’t.”

“She was two seconds away from not renewing her contract for Venom 2, so you have me thank for it happening.” Tom boated.

“Or we have the cast and crew to thank.” You suggested.

“Or me.” Tom shrugged as he revealed the next question. “Is Tom Holland…taller than Y/n.”

“You could ask “is Tom Holland taller than…” and no matter who you fill in the blank with, the answer would be no.” You stated.

“Haha!” Tom said sarcastically. “Read the next question.”

“Anything for you, shorty.” You laced your fingers though his and kissed the back of his hand. “Is Tom Holland…engaged.” You smirked a little when you read the question. Engagement rumors had been off the charts lately and you and Tom decided to be vague.

“I don’t know, is he?” Tom looked at the camera and tilted his head.

“Like engaged to a girl or engaged in combat?” You stroked your chin.

“Well he’s definitely not engaged in combat.” Tom confirmed and wiped his brow.

“So is he engaged to a girl?” You kept up the act.

“I can’t tell. He’s very mysterious. And very handsome.” He added.

“I wouldn’t go that far but he is pretty private about his personal life. I wish I could ask him.” You leaned your chin on your hand and sighed.

“I heard he’s pretty difficult to get a hold of.” Tom said sadly.

“Yeah. Maybe someone should give him a ring, see if he’ll answer.” You looked at the camera and shrugged. Tom peeled off the next question and dropped the paper on the floor.

“Is Tom Holland…British.” He read.

“He’s Australian.” You answered confidently as you revealed the next question.

“Does Tom Holland…drive.” He read off the board.

“No. He usually winds up his ears and flies off.” You said into the camera with a straight face. “They flutter like butterfly wings and that’s how we get around.”

“I think I know the answer to “is Tom Holland engaged?” now.” Tom mumbled.

“What’s the answer?” You asked him.

“No.” He told you before breaking into laughter. You cupped his face and kissed him swiftly as an apology.

“Was that your last one?” You asked when you noticed the lack of boards.

“Oh I guess it was.” Tom looked around. “Your turn.”

“Who is Y/n L/n…mcu.” You read. “Uh I play Iron Man.”

“She plays Iron Man very well.” Tom added as he peeled off the next question. “Is Y/n L/n…pregnant. Wow, second question.”

“Do I look pregnant?” You sassed the camera.

“Is Y/n L/n…engaged.” Tom read the next one.

“Nope, just pregnant.” You nodded.

“Is Y/n L/n…married.” Tom revealed the following question.

“Married to the money.” You answered and Tom chuckled.

“Is Y/n L/n…Tom Holland’s girlfriend.” Tom smiled as he read the next one.

“Depends on who you ask.” You shrugged.

“No, always.” Tom said, a little offended.

“Depends.” You shrugged again.

“Depends on what? Who would say no?” Tom questioned you.

“Me, if a cute boy asked.” You joked. He made a face and you laughed before kissing him.

“Is Y/n L/n…engaged to Tom Holland.” Tom read the next one.

“Im engaged in this conversation with Tom Holland.” You replied.

“Why does everyone keep asking if we’re engaged?” Tom asked with fake curiosity.

“Because we are.” You deadpanned.

“Oh right.” Tom matched your seriousness before you both burst into laughter.

“They’re probably asking because of the prank interview we did with Conor and Josh.” You reminded him.

“We didn’t say we were engaged.” Tom said.

“But we talked about marriage.” You countered.

“Guys, we’re not engaged.” Tom said to the camera.

“But Tom is pregnant.” You pointed at the camera. Tom laughed before peeled off the next question.

“Did Y/n L/n…win the plank challenge.” He read.

“I don’t even remem-“ You started.

“I won.” Tom stated. “I hold the record.”

“Well there you have it.” You laughed.

“Did Y/n L/n-“ He started to read the next one.

“Ryan Reynolds.” You cut him off.

“Oh okay.” Tom nodded as he peeled the next one. “Does Y/n L/n…have a boyfriend.”

“See the above answer.” You smiled at the camera.

“This is a video. There is no above answer.” Tom sassed. “And your boyfriend is not Ryan Reynolds.” He added quietly.

“Don’t remind me.” You sighed sadly. Tom made a mock hurt face and you pouted.

“Aw.” You laughed. “I love you.” You pulled him close to you and covered his face in kisses.

“Okay. I love you too.” Tom kissed your cheek. “There’s one more. Does Y/n L/n…John Mulaney.”

“I genuinely do not know how to answer that question.” You said after a minute of silence.

“I genuinely don’t know if that is a question.” Tom added.

“I think that’s a great way to end the interview.” You laughed. “Thanks John Mulaney.”

“Thank you for watching our Autocomplete Interview.” Tom grinned. “I’m Tom Holland.”

“And I’m engaged to Tom Holland.” You finally confirmed as you held up the hand with the ring. “Goodbye!”

Tag List 🏷

@maybemona @foreverxholland @writing-for-hours-on-end @lavender-writer @captainmandeestudent17 @whatareyouhidingpeter @takenbyheartstrings @ultrunning @imyourliquor-youremypoison @theolwebshooter @andreasworlsboring101 @guksmyfav @waiting-to-be-myself @letsloveimagines @peterparkoure @a-villain-vying-for-attention @m19friend @justcallmehitgirl @averyfosterthoughts @jackiehollanderr @tiny-friggin-human @celestial-skylines @loveat2am @mara-twins @iamaunicorn4704 @delicately-important-trash @mjspxrker @spideygirl2003 @the-crazy-fanfictionist @kii-mii @maryjanee23 @spacebitch2 @vgiselle @geeksareunique @emmamarshmellow

#tom holland x reader #tom holland x you #tom holland x y/n #tom holland fluff #tom holland imagine #tom holland autocomplete #tom holland fanfiction #peter parker x reader #peter parker x y/n #peter parker x you #iron man #peter parker fanfiction #peter parker imagine #plank all over me

3K notes · View notes

charmandhex · 4 years ago

Text

Fic or Treat!

Or, damn, there really aren’t a lot of fall/Halloween/Thanksgiving seasonal TAZ fics, huh?

Right, but in all seriousness, I wanted to create a TAZ fic rec list for the fall/Halloween season. Per my aforementioned point, some of these are not strictly speaking related to either of those things, but fit in a more tangential spooky/eerie/supernatural way. But these are all authors I’ve read things from and whose writing I enjoy, so I hope you do to. As always, mind the tags, and kudos and comment to support these folks!

So, without further ado, in no particular order (I am literally rolling a d10 for that):

1. The Robots of Maureen Miller by AlwaysAmused ( @simplyaskeleton )

A little goofy, a little angsty, a whole lot of accidental robot murdery. Featuring disaster scientist Maureen Miller and a battalion of equally disastrous robots. What could go wrong? Really, Baines, what could possibly go wrong? Baines? BAINES? I guess you’re just going to have to read this good good fic and find out!

2. dancing in a swirl of golden memories by everqueen ( @everqueen12 )

So you’re on my page, so I’m assuming you like TAZ. Also a fan of Over the Garden Wall? Here’s Kat’s OTGW AU fic for a Taakitz week of old. If you’re not familiar with Kat’s work, this is one unknown I’ll yeet you into myself, because Kat is a delightful author. A is for awesome which is what Kat is, B is for boys lost in the woods, C is for comments are the best, and D is for dear God I don’t know how to end this bit!

3. Rest for the Wicked by BoPeepWithNoSheep (@thisiswhyidonthaveatumblr)

This is one of the ones that is really not fully on with the Halloween theme, but Bo can write the creepy and the unsettling so delightfully well that... well, my list, my rules. So there. It’s good fic! A particularly creepy look at what happens when a new antagonist pops up after the world has been saved and they have a little too much interest in Lucretia. Hm. HM. (Mind the tags!)

4. Draw Me Forth from the Otherside by TaraHarkon

1880s post-Civil War spiritualism and seances with Barry, Lup, Taako, and more? YES. As it’s Tara, you can of course expect that more to include the Wonderland twins. Ghosts and spookiness abound, and as always, Tara is an excellent writer.

5. The Clone in the Back Room by M_Logolepsy (@lonelyjournal-keeper)

So who was left with questions about Garfield growing a Magnus body? Who DIDN’T want those questions answered? Great! Enjoy Mads’s fic about Garfield through the Balance arc, where she absolutely fucking nails just how unnerving all that is and makes you laugh while doing it!

6. A Chill Wind Blowing by DragonWrites

Jen herself calls this one a ghost story, so fair game for this list. What happens when the crew of the Starblaster dies during the century? Is our dear Captain really haunting Barry’s denim-clad ass? How is Jen still the best Davenport writer out there even when she kills him? HA! Like I’m spoiling this good good fic for you!

7. Not Your Usual Round... by Jairephix

Definitely the shortest fic on the list, but Briar setting Wonderland and Haunted Doll Watch on a collision course made me cackle with laughter. Absolutely nails the sibling energy.

8. (I Put a Spell on You) And Now You’re Mine by ceilingfan5 (@ceilingfan5)

Chances are you’ve seen some of Larissa’s shorter work floating around the taz fic tumblr world, and I am here to assure you that her work is always that good! Hello fluffy Halloween Taakitz goodness - this is probably sweeter than the whole of that Orange Creme Halloween Oreo display in the Fantasy Target!

9. In This Town (We Call Home) by Hoothootmotherf_ckers (@hoothootmotherf-ckers)

Didn’t ship Ren and Noelle before well guess what now you do because of this good good sweet fluffy Halloween filled fic featuring girlfriends Ren and Noelle celebrating their favorite holiday. This fic has the feel of eating candy while cozy under a blanket on the couch watching a Halloween movie while you’ve got a cinnamon pumpkin candle burning and I love it so much.

10. stepping back to golden days by Hoothootmotherf_ckers

Another fall fic from Shell, this one focuses on Magnus and Lucretia and their good good sibling energy and also just absolutely fucking oneshot my bisexual ass with the image of both Magnus and Lucretia in flannel shirts with rolled up sleeves. It’s so very fluffy and you get to run around and see all your favorite characters happy and enjoying nifty fall activities and this one is like wearing that flannel shirt out to go pick a pumpkin and eating local caramel apples and popcorn.

Now go forth and enjoy these good good fics! Stay safe out there, and Happy Halloween!

#taz #taz balance #taz fic #taz fanfic #charm talks

113 notes · View notes

bigskydreaming · 4 years ago

Text

Little bit from a fic about the next generation of Titans, in a universe where DC’s weird vendetta against Titan offspring isn’t allowed to get in the way of Robert, Lian, Cerdian, Mar’i, Jake, Irey and Jai all growing up together. Also Sarko, the alternate timeline future son of Kyle Rayner and Soranik Natu because hey why not.

And with special guest appearance by Mar’i and Jake’s alternate universe half-sibling, Thomas Grayson, son of Dick and Babs, and who takes up his universe’s Red Hood mantle after his Uncle Jason.

*****

“I mean, its not like I have a ton of options here.” Lian spread her arms wide to encompass the rest of the Teen Titans and make it all the more self-explanatory. “We kinda all grew up together, and I’m just saying, once you’ve seen a guy shove a crayon up his nose and then eat it, there’s a little less shine on that future prospective love interest.”

“Hey! That was one time, and I was three!”

“Oh Robbie, neither of those things are even a little bit true,” Lian said pityingly.

He scowled. “Oh, like you’re some great catch yourself. You’re the literal dictionary definition of a walking bi disaster. Remember that time you got ahold of one of your dad’s explosive arrows and brought it to daycare and almost blew us both up? What do you call that, huh?”

Lian narrowed her eyes at him and planted her hands on her hips, adopting a challenging tone that - as Mar’i knew from far too many previous experiences - could carry the name “Brace For Impact.”

“Precocious,” she said loftily. “I almost took out a potential world-ending threat all by myself, when I was five. Way to go, me.”

She pivoted to offer an explanation to their bemused extra-dimensional visitor. “See, there was this whole prophecy thing before Robbie was born, about how he was destined to be the god of douchebags and would grow up to take over the world while calling himself something suitably ridiculous like “Lord Chaos.” So periodically we like to check in with his ego, knock it down a few pegs here and there, make sure its still in manageable ranges. Kinda a team-building exercise.”

“Of course, at this point you’re far more likely to all be my actual villain origin story instead,” Robbie grumbled. Lian leveled a smirk at him.

“Oh, we have contingencies for that too.”

“Yeah, we’ll probably just have the twins run around you in circles at hyper-speed while making up shit about alternate timelines and stating it all as absolute fact,” Cerdian contributed from where he still sat cross-legged on the floor, engrossed in his video game. “It drives Rob up the wall. He just physically can’t with them.”

“Oh come on,” Robbie exploded. “Just because I refuse to take them at face value when they just start spouting off BS about alternate timelines where, wait what was it last week, oh yeah, where Jamie Lee Curtis was Buffy the Vampire Slayer....”

“How dare you!” Irey jumped to her feet. “That was 100% true. I watched every single episode and they were all flawless!”

“Six seasons and a moooooovie,” Jai sang out.

“What does that even mean?” Robbie yelled.

Jai picked cackling like a hyena over giving him an actual answer.

“You’re so weird.”

“Hey! You know better than to give Jai shit for being weird,” Sarko piped up from across the room. “Its not his fault he has West DNA.”

Jai snapped his fingers and pointed at Kid Ion emphatically. “Y’know, its funny he should mention that. There was actually this one timeline once, where practically everything was the same as this one except our dad’s name was Wally East there instead of Wally West. And you and me were best buds there, Rob. We were like. Sympatico.”

Robbie took a deep breath and rubbed his face with his hands. “I hate them so much,” he said in a much calmer, almost subdued tone. Conversationally, even.

Which of course was when Irey jumped up onto the couch and shook her fist at her twin, who shook his right back at her, from his seat on the floor.

“They can’t keep getting away with this!” They yelled, in creepy twin-unison.

Mar’i shook her head and sighed. It was like you could actually see the wind-up mechanism hovering invisibly behind Robbie start back up all over again.

“What are you even quoting right now?! One hundred percent of your references are lost on every person who has a normal relationship with the space/time continuum, which is every single person other than you two!”

“Quick Jai, run! Before he gets us, and our little dog too!” Irey yelled, speeding out of the room, her brother hot on her heels.

“Oh no, not our little dog, Garfield!”

“Toto! The little dog’s name is Toto!”

“No, dude, that’s the hamster from the Lion, the Witch and the Laundry Basket. Which, I understand the confusion there, like you’d think there’d be a lion in that movie, not a hamster named Toto, but I guess it wasn’t meant to be taken literally. It was like, a metaphor.”

“Stoooooooooooop!”

Dramatic silence permeated the room in the wake of the trio’s equally dramatic exit. Lian pursed her lips and turned back to Thomas, contemplatively.

“Now I know what you must be thinking. Its not cool that we all gang up on Robbie like that. And that’s true! But there’s something else you have to keep in mind here.”

Thomas raised an eyebrow. “And what’s that?”

“Its also really fun for the rest of us.”

He laughed. “Hey, no judgment here. I mean, I’m Mar’i and Jake’s half-brother from another universe, remember? You know how this works. I’m probably evil anyway.”

Lian beamed.

Mar’i gagged.

46 notes · View notes

praisethepizzagods · 4 years ago

Text

WandaVision Theory

Okay so this contains some spoilers (mostly specculation really) from wanda vision so... spoilers below cut.

We have all seen the casting for Spiderman 3 & Doctor strange 2.... It includes people like: Andrew Garfield (spiderman) Tobey Maguire (Spiderman) Xochitl Gomez (America Chavez) Ryan Reynolds (Deadpool) Tom Hiddleston (Loki) Among others.... lots of universes being mixed here guys. So I have a theory... Blame my friend for this thing being birthed she had to listen to this as it came out. Peter/Pietro (since xmen pietro is called peter, but wanda knows his as pietro) maximoff is Loki, last we saw loki he had the tesseract and was fleeing, loki is trying to find out the state of the awvengers post end game, and yeah loki likes to fuck with thor & in the comics he lovveeesss just winding people up (God of mischief ffs), so he is trying to find out what the fuck is going on, he is curious about wanda's level of powers (like she is one of the most powerful mcu characters, hes gunna be curious), wanda as we know has a town hostage and is controlling everything, this is similar to avenegrs where loki wanted to rule earth, so hes seeing if she could be of use to him/try figure out a way to get his end goal. End of wanda vision season 1 - wanda looses complete control, she snaps. She breaks the multi verse because she has been believing this pietro is her pietro but with a different face... she finds out it is loki in pietros body which causes her to loose total control and snap a rift in the multi verse OR sword cause her so much stress, vision is questionign everything/realises what wanda did (Sees the footage maybe?) or she has to watch him die again and wanda is so torn over by emotion that she looses control, pietro/loki then realises that oh fuck this is about to go down and wanda uses her powers to try control more and either knocks pietro loki back into loki for or loki shifts just before to do a reveal, he may even try and fix this and help wanda because he knows intense powers and notice she is going insane????? But this ends in her bringing in all the spidermen into the MCU. Bringing deadpool with em. Bringing america chavez with them (She lives in a paralel universe and thats where she got her powers so wanda drags her into MCU because hey, she snapped). Doc strange 2 happens which is about the multi verse. Strange appears at end of wanda vision kinda like "Oh no...." like he's seeing what is about to happen and sees wanda is about to cause he doesnt see this coming, So doc strange 2 is now begining wanda has lost control and merged all theses universes into one - sony,fox,the new characters universe etc etc etc are now all in the MCU universe there is many spider men now (Like into the spider verse) kidna like that level of how it happens they just got ripped into this reality. In spider man 3 this is also playing a part because all the spidermen are still here (Showing this could be a long winded issue/they cant get back to their universe because wanda doesnt know how she did it, doesnt want to do it/cant do it again) Back to doc strange 3 - this movie will be directly dealing with the immediate backlash of this, the many spidermen, deadpool, america chavez all appearing, strange realising what has happened, trying to fix this, loki also there because he doesnt even know whats happened but DAMN is he interested because THIS level of power.... thats interesting to him. Loki's disney+ series happens after the multi verse of madness/during it (like loki's show is bought up in it like "lokis fucking president?!?!?!" like thats another thing thats gone wrong from wanda's melt down and destroying the multi verse, and another thing for strange to to and do damage control on. wanda cant fix this, shes now gone fully off rails, if she watches vision die twice she wont be coming back from that we know. so strange is also trying to help her on how to use her powers as she never reallllly has had training, strange might know people who can help her deal with this insane amount of power. Strange cant fix this alone he needs wanda to try and fix this, and the issue could be a permenant one ( i recon it will be permenant and all wwhat phase 4 & 5 will be about) Doctor strange 2 sees them going between thesee multi verse's they have discovered (maybe strqange & wanda, maybe strange & wong, maybe wanda and someone else who knows... but they are trying to find out how far this damage has gone End of doctor strange is them realising this isnt a quick fix, the world has gone insane as there is all these new ones, ("WHY ARE THERE 3 SPIDER MEN!" - JJJ shouts (cause hey he was in the tobey mcguire spidermen ffs we get him with this package too) spider man 3 then happens & tom holland (The spider men will be refered to by their actors names) see's that um theres another spider man??? what the??? he finds him and they all find out they are the same spider man. This movie plays out similary to into the spiderverse but they dont all go at the end of it because this is a long winded issue. But... now we have america chavez, shes just been bumbling round the MCU being a hero cause she's here.... Monica as you rememebr from wanda vision has her internal sequencing rewritten each time she goes through the hex, this gives her powers cause she has gone through the hex so much at this stage in wanda vision.... So Monica = Photon America Chavez Cassie = Stature Kate bishop = Hawkeye Tom holland = Spiderman How did kate get here and Cassie? KATE So clint stepped down, hawkeye disney+ seems to be like fractions, clints training kate (maybe his family left after end game because jfc clint is probs a wreck, or clint didnt stop so hsi wife left.... maybe they live in iowa happily who knows) Clint was going solo for a while in newyork, when he met this other hawkeye (Hey maybe kate got dragged through the multi verse or maybe she was just a great archer rich kid in newyork who saw hawkeye had fucked off after the blip (maybe she was working during the blip, but towards the end? in comics she took hawkeye mantle while clint was off beign a depressed noodle and he then found out there was 2 hawkeyes and confronted ehr and agreed to train her so maybe somehting simialr to this is what happens in hawkeye) But anyway Clints training kate in new york and yeah shes good. CASSIE Scott after end game & Hope continue being antman and the wasp, but cassie eventually takes over the suit from them (Maybe something happens in antman 3 quantamania that means neither scott or hope can use the suits any more because it will tear them apart, like hank cant use the suits because it takes too much of a toll on his body now and he wouldnt surive it really...) so cassie has taken over the suits and is now operating under the code name stature. This then begins the next arc for the avengers now they have got people powered up, and atleast 1 person from this destruction of the multi verse (America chavez) but we may have more that are discovered over the course of phase 4 that were bought through with the multi verse. So, where does this go??? The young avengers is the next big arc.... Maybe wanda (&peter maximoff? not sure how that would work as young piettro (evan peters one) was from the 80s or something in xmen so is an adult not a kid like he is in wanda vision, which adds to my this isnt pietro but loki thing) But maybe wanda is leading them, maybe not. But the multi verse cant be fixed so they have these heroes now and the avengers kinda died after end game cause tony died and steve fucked off. Sam helps train but hes off with bucky alot too doing a buddy up thing together, but as sam is the new cap he also heads up this young avengers kinda as a mentor for them. Now... right now your pronbs thinking "Morgan stark though" Morgan has a suit... but morgan is still even in 2030 (hawkeye is 2025...) morgan would only be 7..... so she isnt really old enough.... But who else had an iron man suit in the comics? who may of got dragged through the multi verse? Enter riri williams aka iron heart. That takes us up to about end of phase 5 with the rise of the young avengers & champions maybe??? Hi and thanks for coming to my ted talk

#wandavision #marvel #mcu #avengers #spoilers #spiderman #doctor st #loki #monica rambeu #vision #wanda maxim #pietro maximoff #peter maximoff #xmen #deadpool #its only 8pm and this is where my ramblings are going #ive been deprived of marvel too long #send the next episode of wanda vision #i need more clown sword in my life

10 notes · View notes

not-ready-for-gaster · 5 months ago

Text

OK SO DEITY LORE TIME (VERY LONG

(these are the gods)

the gods all live in Otherside, a utopia to the west of Farside, where all the dead souls go n stuff.

all the gods lived in harmony, until the fire nation attacked the four waters flooded the land and drowned out the other gods and they all died oops

legends say that Braizen, the leader type person, did not drown as she was in the sky floating or smth cause shes the light god

so Braizen kept the essences of the gods instead of saving them (cause as 'girlboss' as she is, she cant carry 4 whole gods at once forever) and chose bloodlines to inbue the gods essences into.

(this means that the essence of the particular god is passed down in generations and if the youngest generation, the one currently holding the essence, is killed, the god will come back (also means that stuff can still happen- ppl can still die and wind can still come and fire will be fire ect- bcause the gods arent technically dead))

uh and also the god of darkness' essence is in a different dimension now dont ask

Braizen goes into hiding after doing this, changing form into a lil satyr mortal called Braiden (yeah he trans, keep scrolling)

unfortunately, the 5th or so baby from Babil's (death) essence bloodline died as a child, so she came back pretty fast.

she lead 3 souls into Otherside before she realized that maybe being in Otherside is not the best idea rn, so she goes to find darkness' bloodline cause they were gay for each other

so yeah she changes form, finds a way to travel to other dimensions or smth and goes to find darkness' current essence holder, but she chill so theyre friends now (Ona and Erin's backstory)

Braiden decides to find the others essence holders too, so that when the time comes he can just kill em and everything will go back to normal

and that brings us fairly up to date! Ona finds what she needs to travel back to Farside and takes Erin with her, and they arrive in the forest (Erin gets bitten by a vampire there lol) and thats how the gang is formed‼️

i mean, thats what everyone says happened...

SECRET REAL DEITY LORE TIME

Ok so first off, Braizen is a real arrogant asshole of a leader god. thinks shes better than everyone.

Braizen wanted to see how bright she could really shine, so every day for a year she would glow a little brighter in the sky.

Only by the end of this year did she realize that below her, what was meant to be Otherside was just water.

she had shined so bright, it forced the four waters to flood the land to dull the light and all the gods were forced to live under there. except for Microwave (darkness) who got immediately erased and their essence was yeeted into the other dimension.

(Oh yeah and that essence thing is a natural reflex to a god perishing, Braizen didnt do shit)

the only complication was that Akira (fire) cant live underwater and was extinguished, and Garfield (wind) was starved of air and suffocated.

So now the four waters are the only gods left, exept for Braizen, who they force to leave cause shes an asshole and killed everyone.

braizen changes form, is now braiden, ect, goes to find the bloodlines, and the rest is accurate.

damn this post is long

#BeesOcees #oc #oc stuff #worldbuilding

0 notes

johngarfieldtribute · 4 years ago

Text

Singer and songwriter, John Prine’s The Late John Garfield Blues song isn’t really about the actor. It’s a song originally included on the artist’s second release from 1972, “Diamonds in the Rough.”

My take is that Prine is describing that feeling you get when something chill is ending and you’re about to go into a less desirable set of circumstances. As Prine says, “life’s in-betweens.”

Give the original recording of the song a listen.

Prine re-recorded the song for his album “Souvenirs” released in 2000. Here’s that beautiful rendition.

John Prine wrote this about the song:

The Late John Garfield Blues notes

"What I was writing about was how late Sunday night going into Monday morning was always a weird period of time. Whether you were apprehensive about work or school, it was like the twilight zone. At first, the song was called "The Late Sunday, Early Monday Morning Blues." I finally decided to make it like the kind of movie that would be on TV at that hour, a John Garfield movie. It's not so much about him, the actor; I used this character to get into something else.

When Kris Kristofferson and Rita Coolidge got together, they moved into this house on Franklin Avenue in Los Angeles. They had an acetate of the record, and when they played that song, the electricity went out in the house. The next day, they found out that John Garfield used to own the place. It's a good thing it wasn't a song about John Garfield, or he'd have been turning my lights out.”

Kristofferson and Prine chatting it up. Looks like it’s probably in the 1970s.

Kris Kristofferson does a cover of the song too. He’s pictured above with Rita Coolidge.

In an article about John Prine, by Gabe Meline, he recounts a slightly different version of the story, “Kristofferson told me that when he was living at Rita Coolidge’s place in Hollywood, he bought Prine’s latest album ‘Diamonds in the Rough’ one day and was playing it on the turntable. And it got to that song, and it kept stopping in that song! He said, What the hell’s wrong with this thing?”

“And we looked at the title, ‘The Late John Garfield Blues,’ and Rita said, ‘My God. This was John Garfield’s house!’ There we were in John Garfield’s old house, and the record stopped twice to call our attention to it.”

A mysterious happening for an even more mysterious tune. “As to what it’s about?” Kristofferson added. “God, I don’t know. But I love the song.”

God’s possible favorite songwriter is pictured below singing with Kristofferson.

And below sharing the stage with Bruce Springsteen who had strong feelings about Prine’s passing. Prine fought numerous health battles throughout his life, but he tragically couldn’t beat a coronavirus attack and died in Nashville on April 7, 2020. He was born on October 10, 1946, in Maywood, IL. He passed away at age 73 while hospitalized at Vanderbilt University Medical Center.

“John Prine was a sweet and lovely man, and I was proud to count him as my friend,” Springsteen said during a Sirius broadcast shortly after Prine died, “He wrote music of towering compassion with an almost unheard of precision and creativity when it came to observing the fine details of ordinary lives. He was a writer of great humor, funny, with wry sensitivity. It has marked him as a complete original. His death just makes me angry. He was simply one of the best we had and we will miss him.”

This article from NPR recounts John Prine’s life and has links to some of his music.

Prine’s widow also shared this message:

Our beloved John died yesterday evening at Vanderbilt Medical Center in Nashville TN. We have no words to describe the grief our family is experiencing at this time. John was the love of my life and adored by our sons Jody, Jack and Tommy, daughter in law Fanny, and by our grandchildren.

John contracted Covid-19 and in spite of the incredible skill and care of his medical team at Vanderbilt he could not overcome the damage this virus inflicted on his body.

I sat with John - who was deeply sedated- in the hours before he passed and will be forever grateful for that opportunity.

My dearest wish is that people of all ages take this virus seriously and follow guidelines set by the CDC. We send our condolences and love to the thousands of other American families who are grieving the loss of loved ones at this time - and to so many other families across the world.

Thank you from the bottom of our hearts for the outpouring of love we have received from family, friends, and fans all over the world. John will be so missed but he will continue to comfort us with his words and music and the gifts of kindness, humor and love he left for all of us to share.

In lieu of flowers or gifts at this time we would ask that a donation be made to one of the following non profits:

thistlefarms.org

roomintheinn.org

nashvillerescuemission.org

The Late John Garfield Blues by John Prine

Black faces pressed against the glass

Where rain has pressed it's weight

Wind blown scarves in top down cars

All share one western trait

Sadness leaks through tear-stained cheeks

From winos to dime-store Jews

Probably don't know they give me

These late John Garfield blues

Midnight fell on Franklin Street

And the lamppost bulbs were broke

For the life of me, I could not see

But I heard a brand new joke

Two men were standing upon a bridge

One jumped and screamed you lose

And just left the odd man holding

Those late John Garfield blues

An old man sleeps with his conscience at night

Young kids sleep with their dreams

While the mentally ill sit perfectly still

And live through life's in-betweens

I'm going away to the last resort

In week or two real soon

Where the fish don't bite but once a night

By the cold light of the moon

The horses scream- the nightmares dream

And the dead men all wear shoes

'Cause everybody's dancin'

Those late John Garfield blues

#john garfield #John Prine #diamonds in the rough #souvenirs #the late John Garfield blues #bruce springsteen #kris Kristofferson #rita coolidge

2 notes · View notes

mirkwoodshewolf · 6 years ago

Text

Love for a Princess; Tom Holland x reader

*Author’s note*

Okay now for the real reason for all these updates, here is a request that came from an anon who wanted a Tom Holland fic. Thankfully I have written for Tom Holland before (hopefully soon I can transfer what I got on wattpad onto here cause let’s face it I love the boy and idk why I haven’t posted anything beyond the one fic I’ve got of his version of Peter when I know I’ve got like 4 other stories on my wattpad, I am sorry everyone)

So to the anon who requested the fic I hope you find it and I made some slight changes, NOT big but just very small changes but I still hope I did you proud on what you wanted and I also apologize for having you wait so long. Hope you and everyone else who sees this enjoys this loveable fic :)

Taglist:

@psychosupernatural

@plethora-of-things

@ixchel-9275

@platawnic

@waddles03

__________________________________________________________

I was up in my suite watching Spiderman Homecoming for what was probably the millionth time. I can easily quote it word for word but the main reason why I’ve watched it so many times is because of the newest face taking the mantle of Spiderman, actor Tom Holland.

Sure while I did grow up watching the Toby Maguire version and enjoyed what he brought, and watch the Andrew Garfield saga however his story got a little too dark and I hate to say it boring for me, a bit boring to me. So when they announced that for the MCU they had brought in this upcoming young actor named Tom Holland, one look at him and it was like I was actually looking at the real life Peter Parker.

What he did for Civil War, he had me at ‘Hey I’m—I’m—I’m Peter.’ Plus you’d have to be blind to say that he’s not cute. God I just wish that one day I could get the chance to actually meet him, however there’s one slight problem.

“My lady, your mother has rescheduled your badminton practice to 11 o’clock instead of noon, shall I help prepare you?”

“No thank you Niles, I can do it myself. Thanks for the update.”

“Of course your majesty.” That’s why. See I’m not like other girls, hell I’m not like other people. I’m a princess. No really I mean I’m an actual princess, the Princess of England to be precise. My name is (Y/n) Diana Elizabeth Charlotte (l/n), daughter of Prince Brian and Princess Anita. I am their eldest child so that would make me next in line for the throne should anything happen to my mother.

I sadly had to stop the movie because it was now half an hour till 11 so I had to get ready. My maids twin sisters Brigitte and Brigitta came in and they helped gather up my bat-mitting outfit, shoes and hat.

“Here we are Princess, your badminton outfit.” Said the blonde Brigitte.

“Shall we help you change your majesty?” asked the brunette Brigitta.

“No thanks girls I can help myself, you girls take the rest of the afternoon off for lunch.” They curtsied to me but I told them, “Ah-ah what did we talk about?”

“No more curtseys.” Brigitte whispered to her twin.

“Very well (y/n). Just call us if you need anything else” Brigitta answered and the two of them smiled and winked at me and I thanked them before dismissing them. I went into my grand closet and stripped out of my normal clothes and into my badminton outfit. Once I got on the shoes, placed my hat on and quickly raced down towards the badminton court.

As I ran through the palace, I was dodged servants and butlers but nearly may or may not have caused some of them to drop some stuff like plates, or accidentally bumped into pillars holding priceless vahzes to which of course were caught by the servants and I apologized profusely before taking ff running again.

“Here I am right on time as promised and I—” I suddenly tripped over my feet and I saw dozens of people coming towards me but I said as I stood up, “I’m good. I’m all good it’s all good.”

“I swear (y/n) you are probably the clumsiest girl I’ve ever seen. Even as a child you were.” I heard my mum tease.

“Mum please!” I whined out.

“Alright my Princess, let’s see what I’ve told you to practice.” My instructor Javier said.

“Bring it on Javey.” I challenged. He served first and I quickly went after it.

Practice went on for the next hour and a half and by then I was beat and winded.

“Not bad your highness, although your stance is still a little off balance on some of your swings, you’ve got to make sure to pivot your dominant foot before striking the birdie.”

“Yes Javier.” I said as I took a sip of water.

“But other than that well done, your strike is excellent and you’ve got good distance on you. Keep that up and you could go pro if you want to.”

“Thank you again Javier, same time next week?” my mum said and he nodded before taking his leave. “Oh hey (y/n) guess what?”

“What is it mum?” I asked her.

“Well I’ve heard some news that for the next Marvel movie, they will be filming it here in London.”

“Really? Which movie is it?”

“The next Spiderman movie.” It was then I spat out my water.

“The…the new Spiderman movie…shut…up!”

“I do not lie love.”

“So that means….”

“Yep the entire cast will be filming some scenes here in London.” I then offered a crazy idea, I mean really crazy and I didn’t know if she would allow it but I just had to try.

“Can we invite them over for tea and brunch when they come?”

“Well…..”

“Please mum, please! I’d never wanted anything more than this, you know that!” She looked at me and she said.

“When your father gets done with his meeting I’ll talk to him about it. If he’s in, I’m in.” I squealed and hugged her thanking her repeatedly.

Later that day as I was doing some homework, (mostly political stuff because hell even royalty needs to go to school) when I heard a knock at my door.

“Come in.” It was then both my parents came in. My dad had his usual stoic face while my mum looked like she just wanted to burst out a secret.

“Your mother tells me you wish to invite some of the cast of the new Spiderman movie over for tea and brunch.” His tone was low and authorative, and I knew whenever he spoke like that, there was no chance of horsing around.

“Yes father.” I spoke softly as I gave my full attention to him.

“Your mother and I talked about it, and she suggests that it would be a good idea for you to hang around people your own age so we’ll send out an invitation for the entire young cast members of the film.” I think at that moment my heart just stopped.

“Are—are you serious?” I as bewildered. He nodded and that’s when I squealed in pure joy as I hugged him and thanked him repeatedly. He hugged me back and stroked down my hair and I felt him place a kiss at the top of my head.

“But there are conditions.”

“I better sit down for this.” I sighed as I went back over to my bed.

“First, I will be there with you to meet them.” I nodded and he said, “Second, if I see that you and Tom aren’t with the rest of the group and see the door less than 3 inches open, then they are all out. And number……”

“And number three your father promises not to be an overbearing daddy bear.” Said my mum as she wrapped her arms around his waist leaning against his shoulder.

“We’ll send out the invitation once the cast arrives here for their London location shooting.” With that my parents left my room and once they left I squealed and jumped backwards into my bed literally fangirling out at the fact that I was going to meet Tom Holland.

*Tom’s POV*

Once we had gotten done with the Atlanta shoots, we flew out to my hometown of London. After a day of filming here in London it was then I was told by my manager that I personally had been given a special letter. Thinking it was from either a loving fan or even my nana (since she still sends in letters, not really tech-savvy) but it wasn’t until I had seen the Royal cross and the special wax-sealing that I began to panic.

“Oh shit, Harry come look at this!” Harry came running into the room and he said.

“Wha What is it?” I then showed him the letter which bared the Royal cross and he said.

“Wow is—is that……”

“Yeah.” I answered breathlessly.

“Well what the hell are you waiting for open it!” I broke the seal and it almost felt like I was waiting my letter to Hogwarts and I unfolded the letter inside and it read.

To Mr. Tom Holland,

My daughter Princess (Y/n) Diana Elizabeth Charlotte (l/n) has expressed pure interest in the Marvel Cinematic Universe, specifically the Spiderman movies. Having been told that the cast would be here, you all are cordially invited to Buckingham Palace to spend one full day with the Princess herself.

You are allowed to bring as many of your younger cast members along to join her for tea and brunch. Please RSVP us back immediately once you have come to a decision.

Thank you and have a good day and filming process.

Sincerely,

King Brian Harold Harrison Adams (L/n).

Holy shit. The Princess of London is a fan of the Marvel movies. I thought politicians and rulers couldn’t focus on anything but politics but now knowing that the Princess herself is a fan, it was—mind boggling!

“Well what’s it say?”

“We’ve been invited to Buckingham Palace for tea and brunch with the Princess.”

“Wait, you mean Princess (y/n)? The Princess (y/n)?!”

“Yeah. And she’s even wanting to invite the rest of the cast to come along.”

“Whose invited us to where?” Peeking in was Zendaya and Jacob.

“Guys, we’ve been invited to be amongst London’s royalty.” Answered Harry.

“No freakin way are you serious!?” exclaimed Jacob as he raced over and took the letter from Harry’s hand.

“I shit you not guys.” Said Harry.

“Okay wow this is…..are we supposed to wear anything fancy to the palace? I mean I only had to do a meeting royalty for the Greatest Showman but this—this is the real deal now.”

“It’ll be okay Zendaya, it doesn’t say anything about a dress code so I guess just casual will do, but if you want I guess we could do semi-casual.” I said as I placed my hand on her shoulder trying to calm her down.

“When are we supposed to go?” asked Jacob.

“It say this Thursday.” I answered.

“That’s two days from now.” Harry stated.

“So are we gonna go?” asked Jacob.

“I’ll talk with Jon when we get ready on set and we’ll see what he says.” Man I still can’t believe it, the Princess (y/n) is a fan of the Marvel movies and she’d like to hang out with us. Somebody pinch me because I must be dreaming.

After talking with Jon about this visitation, he allowed us to have a late afternoon/evening shoot once we got done with our meeting with the royal family.

Finally the day had arrived.

Instead of getting one of our cars ready, a car sent by Queen Anita herself to pick up me and my friends. As we drove down towards Buckingham Palace, I said to them.

“Okay guys remember we’re gonna be before royalty. So that means no funny business, no insulting or offending stances, and try not to embarrass yourselves.”

“Uhh Tom, I think you should look in the mirror and say that.” Zendaya teased. I glared at her and soon we felt the car stop. We all looked out and even though I’ve driven past it most of my life, here I was standing right before the actual gates of Buckingham Palace.

“Spiderman Far from home party?” one of the security guards came up to us. We nodded and he said, “We’ve been expecting you, right this way.” We were escorted throughout the large corridors, all the while I heard Jacob say.

“Wow. Never did I think I would get the chance to walk through an actual castle.”

“I mean I had to but that was just a set. No this is the real deal.” Said Zendaya. We walked for what felt like eternity until finally we reached the grand throne room.

There sitting on the throne were King Brian and Queen Anita. Our escort then stood before them and said.

“I present to you, King Brian and his fair Queen Anita.”

“Your majesties.” I said as I bowed along with all my friends.

“Oh please rise Tom, you and your friends are no strangers to us. Richard, go fetch our daughter.” Said Queen Anita.

“Yes my Queen.” He bowed and went off to go get the Princess.

“Your palace is amazing your majesties…..uhh your highnesses….I mean….” Jacob started stammering before Zendaya kicked him in the shin making him cry out.

“Thank you Jacob.” Said King Brian gratefully.

“Presenting, her royal highness, Princess (y/n) Diana Elizabeth Charlotte (l/n).” Richard’s voice soon proclaimed. It was then coming out from the side door was the most gorgeous girl I had ever seen.

She was in a beautiful lavender A-line wickstead dress. Her hair was done in gentle waves and she wore one of those large sunhats of the same color. It kinda reminded me of one of those old school movies from like the 30’s or 40’s when the actress would walk in wearing those big hats before revealing the beautiful face underneath. She walked up towards us and smiled widely.

*My POV*

God I can’t believe they’re really here! Zendaya, Jacob, Harry (Tom’s assistant) and of course the leading man himself, Tom Holland. They were all dressed up in semi-formal outfits.

“Hi. I’m so glad you all accepted the invitation. I’m a huge fan of the MCU but if I had to pick, then Homecoming if defiantly my #1”

“Wow that’s awesome!” said Jacob.

“Thanks Princess.” Said Zendaya.

“Oh please no formalities I hate that. Call me (y/n). And by the way Zendaya, amazing job in the Greatest showman, I literally can’t stop watching that film.”

“Thanks, you know I did all my own stunts in that right?”

“Shut up!” she exclaimed.

“For real I did, as did Zac.”

“Okay that’s it, you’re officially the coolest person ever!” She grinned and the two of us shook hands with each other. Guess I already found my best friend of the cast. I then turned to Tom and said to him. “You’ve been a bit quiet Tom, is everything alright?” He stammered but managed to say.

“Y-yeah. Yeah everything’s…..everything’s fine.” His voice even did that cute little boyish crack. I smiled and said.

“I hope you weren’t expecting anything grand or different.”

“No!” he suddenly blurted out which echoed throughout the throne room. He cleared his throat embarrassed and said, “I mean no, not at all. I mean I wasn’t expecting much I mean—” I giggled softly. Oh go he was cuter in person.

“Well, since you all are already dressed, I’ll escort you to the garden where Martin will serve us our tea and brunch. If you all will please follow me.” I then escorted them out of the throne room and out to the garden.

*Tom’s POV*

As we were walking I couldn’t help but think how much of an idiot she must think I am.

“Mate what’s going on with you?” whispered Harry. I shrugged and that’s when I felt my phone vibrate. I opened it up to see that Zendaya had texted me saying.

Smooth lover boy

I glared at her and she just grinned smugly at me.

*My POV*

We soon arrived at the garden where Martin and Chessie were serving us brunch and tea. The garden was decored with the finest silk streamers and the tea set we were using today was imported to us from Japan. The finest Japanese tea set we’ve ever had the privilege of owning.

“I hope all of this isn’t too much for all of you. I don’t wish to overwhelm you all.” I said.

“No, no this is great. Never did I think we’d get to go into a real royal palace.” Jacob said.

“And these teacups are so beautifully decorated.” Said Zendaya as she admired her teacup.

“Yeah. It was hand painted by one of the best Japanese painters and sculptures.”

“Wait so this was also sculpted too?” I nodded. It was then Chessie came in and said.

“So what shall it be today your majesty.”

“Ohh Chessie you know the rules, guest always go first.”

“Right, right forgive me Princess.” Zendaya went and ordered some blueberry French toast, Jacob got the order of deviled eggs, Harry ordered some Egg and cheese hash brown waffles, and surprising Tom asked for my favorite brunch meal the Vanilla crumpets with cinnamon cream.

“So you like vanilla crumpets too?” I asked.

“Yeah uhh….my mum always made them for brunch when I was a kid and I just can’t stop eating them.”

“Yeah, my mum got me into these when we went on a business trip to Madrid. Ever since then I had it immediately put on the brunch menu.” Soon enough the food arrived and I asked, “So how long are you all here shooting in London for?”

“Three months?” questioned Zendaya.

“Yeah about three months. Just to get some of the vacation shots before we have to go back to Atlanta.” Answered Harry.

“So Jacob, Zendaya have you two seen more of the city yet?”

“Not yet, film schedules keep us on our toes that we rarely have any time to go see the sights. And this is my first time visiting London.” Answered Jacob.

“Well if you’re willing as well as with the permission of your director. I’d be more than willing to give you all a royal escort throughout the town. I can even show you my favorite sights.”

“Really you’d do that? Oh thank you your majesty. Uhh I mean (y/n), sorry.”

“It’s okay Jacob.”

“So (y/n), if you had to pick your favorite marvel superhero who would it be?” asked Zendaya. I blushed and quickly looked to Tom and said.

“Well I mean…..not to be biased since the actor playing my favorite character is here but Spiderman was my first superhero movie I ever saw. Saw it during Toby Maguire’s movies, then I watched the Andrew Garfield ones, wasn’t as into them as Toby but…..when Civil War came out I—guess I found my new favorite Spiderman.”

“Re—really?” Tom asked. I bashfully nodded and I said.

“Yeah, ever since then I’ve been diving into the Spiderman rabbit hole. Reading everything I could. I even have some of the original comic books up in my room.”

“You’re serious? The Original copies!? Like first print editions?” exclaimed Harry.

“Mm-hmm. Got the as birthday presents. Didn’t ask for them but dad has always spoiled me like that. I—only just wish I could’ve met the creator of my favorite franchise. I’m so sorry to hear about him.”

“We never even saw it coming. I mean yeah he was old but every time we saw him he was—just so full of love and life. And now he’s gone.” Tom said solemnly. I then reached out for his hand, hoping that I wasn’t crossing anything but I said to him.

“Yeah, and I have no doubt in my mind he finally got to see the Spiderman he imagined through you Tom. And—at least he’s now reunited with his wife. It couldn’t have been easy living without her with as long as they’ve been together.” He looked at me and softly smiled before gently squeezing my hand back. God his hands were so warm.

“He even kept a picture of her in his pocket and he’d look at it every time he was on set with us after she died. He really did love her.” Zendaya said.

“I’d probably do the same.”

“He was a great man, and he’ll be forever missed. To Stan “the Man” Lee.” Harry said as he raised his teacup.

“To Stan “the Man” Lee.” We all joined in the cheers.

After we all had brunch I showed the guys more of the palace grounds. From the garden, to the meeting rooms, the training facility (cause hey even a royal Princess needs to know how to defend herself) and the shooting range.

“Oh hey guys I haven’t shown you the best part, c’mon follow me!” we all raced along the corridors till we reached my dance room. In here I’ve got practically every dance game known to mankind from the old school Dance, Dance revolutions, to the current Just Dance. The Michael Jackson experience, Black-eyed Peas experience, and everything else in-between. You name it, I’ve got it.

“Whoa!” the all choired out in awe.

“Welcome to my personal ballroom.”

“(Y/n) this is—this is dope. This is…..you’ve got practically very dance game that’s ever been released. Even the old machine ones that you jump up and down on to match the arrows with.” Said Zendaya. I entered into the changing room to put on some more casual clothes that are appropriate for dancing and said.

“Yep. So you guys think you can take on the champ?” I bragged.

“Please Princess, I’ve got the high score on Just Dance 3 by beating these three losers.” Zendaya bragged as she tossed her hair aside.

“Well then, care to see who the champion of champion really is?”

“Oh girl you are on.” We slapped hands with each other and I got the game set up. I told the guys where to find some clothes in case they didn’t want to ruin their formal attire and let it get all sweaty. Zendaya came out wearing a black tank top with a pink heart on it as well as yoga pants. Jacob wore a plain white t-shirt and khaki colored pants, Harry kept his jeans but changed into a grey short sleeved shirt and Tom was wearing a black basket-ball like t-shirt as well as pants. I adverted my eyes so that I wouldn’t be caught staring at those toned arms of his.

I turned on the X-box 360 and went through the process of getting through the menu and both Zendaya and I signed in as a duel battle.

“Alright you pick the song Z-Daya.”

“Gladly your majesty. And don’t worry I’ll make sure to make it an easy song.” At that point the guys exclaimed as she had burned me.

“Ohh that’s how it is huh?”

“That’s exactly how it is Princess.” She teased. She scrolled through the menu until she reached ‘Pump it’ by the Black-eyed Peas. “You ready?”

“Are you?” I mocked as I stretched out my arms and gave my legs a good shake off. Zendaya jumped up and down shaking out her nerves and I slide the screen to play.

I’ll admit, Zendaya definitely kept me up on my toes. It was literally a back and forth of us either nailing the move or one of us missing a step or two. Our scores were practically neck and neck but in the end she did end up beating me by 100. The boys were all cheering and Zendaya and I clasped hands with each other and hugged it out.

“You weren’t kidding, you truly are the master.”

“Yeah but gotta admit, you’ve worked me harder than those three chuckleheads over there combined.”

“Okay so whose next?” For the next couple hours it was nothing but dance battles. Tom vs. Harry, Harry vs. Jacob, Jacob vs. Tom, Tom vs. Zendaya, and every other combination you can think of. That was until it came to Tom vs. me. I was scrolling through the playlist until Rihanna’s Umbrella came on and at that point everyone but Tom exclaimed.

“DO THAT! THAT’S THE ONE! DO THAT!”

“Ohh god guys no!” Tom groaned.

“Ohh c’mon Tommy honey that’s your song!” Jacob exclaimed.

“Are you guys talking about the time you two were on Lip Sync Battle?” I asked.

“Oh my god you—you saw that?” squeaked Tom.

“Yeah, I didn’t see it live but a friend of mine showed me the Youtube link and I was….amazed. You’re a pretty good dancer Tom, and you definitely pulled off the Rihanna look quite well.” He blushed and cleared his throat and said.

“Okay we’ll—we’ll do it. If you’re game for it.”

“Ohh I’m game. But in the light of us doing this song, if we’re gonna do it….” I quickly raced over to my prop box and pulled out two umbrellas. “We’ll do it right!” I tossed him one of the umbrellas and everyone cheered. I went back to the controls and scrolled through the list explaining to them, “Let me just find the one with the alternate duel battle of this song. That doesn’t have the umbrella in it.” After about 7 songs, I found it. “You ready?”

“Let’s do it.” He said. I pressed the start key and I got into position one.

I gotta say even with a whole different choreography than he learned the first time, Tom still knows how to work an umbrella and how to sensualize himself when the dance called for it. I was just thankful this wasn’t a Lip sync battle cause otherwise I would’ve definitely lost.

*Tom’s POV*

Wow she was good. She was…..she knew exactly how to keep in time with each dance move and it….wow she was sensational. I swore I almost got distracted and almost stopped dancing because I just couldn’t take my eyes off of her. If I didn’t know any better I’d say that like me she had dancing experiences when she was a child.

By the end of it all she ended up winning but I wasn’t a sore loser about it, I congratulated her on the win.

“Not bad, you still got it.” She said.

“Thanks, hey did uhh—did you ever take dance lessons before?”

“A little bit, mostly ballet but I hated it so I quit within a year. No most of my dancing comes from playing these games.”

“Well you danced like a pro.” I said.

“Care to go for another round?”

“Uhh hate to break it up guys but that was Jake. Says Jon wants us back on set within an hour.” Harry said as he held up his phone.

“Aww man but I was about to break my high score on Crazy little thing called love. And I was gonna have (y/n) be my leading lady!” Zendaya whined out.

“Sorry guys but we gotta go.”

“No problem, go ahead and change and I’ll have a car for you guys outside to escort you back to the set.” She explained but I could sense the sadness in her tone. Call it my own ‘spider sense’ but I could tell she was a bit disappointed in the visit being cut so short. And believe me she wasn’t the only one.

After getting changed back into the clothes we came in with and walking through the hallways to the same path we came in on, Harry pulled me aside and said.

“Alright when you gonna tell her?”

“Tell who what?”

“Don’t play games her Thomas, all day you’ve been making goo-goo eyes at the Princess. When you gonna tell her you love her?” Zendaya pressured.

“Whoa what? Love!? Who—who said anything about love? I mean yeah she’s cute but I—she….” Of course all three of them weren’t buying this and I sighed heavily and said, “So what if I did? Huh? She a Princess. I’m just an actor. I’d never fit in with her class.”

“Bullshit, don’t you know she’s been making the same lovey-dovey look to you. She does love you. And not just because you’re Spiderman dude, you’re a total catch. Now let her reel you in!” Zen lectured me.

Soon we reached the main entrance and walked out of the palace and there standing by the same driver that brought us here was (y/n). We all walked towards her and she said.

“Thank you all again for accepting my invitation this…was the most fun I’ve had in years.”

“Thank you (y/n) for inviting us. I really hope we can hang out again sometime.” Jacob said as they shook hands with each other and he got into the car first. Zen walked up to her and said.

“See yah later Princess.”

“See you Zendaya, and I promise next time we meet on the dance battlefield, I will show you why I am the champion.”

“I’ll be counting on that.” They clasped hands with each other before hugging each other and she went into the car. Harry walked up to her and bowed his head.

“Thank you your royal highness for this lovely day.” He spoke with such a posh tone it was laughable, and (y/n) seemed to agree with it.

“You are most welcome kind Harrison.” He took her hand and kissed the back of it just to irk me before getting into the car. Finally it was my turn. The two of us stood face to face with each other and we both spoke up at the same time.

“I just wanted—” we both laughed nervously and I told her to go first.

“I….especially want to thank you for coming. I—didn’t think you’d come personally.”

“I maybe an actor but I’m not like all those spoiled kid actors that throw tantrums if they don’t get their way.” She smiled and continued,

“Still it—made me happy that you all accepted the invitation.”

“Thank you for inviting us. And hey if—if you have time to come by the set, I’ll personally see to it that you are given all access to everything. Just as long as you don’t spoil it.”

“Don’t worry I won’t. I’m not like you when it comes to spoilers.” I gawked at her which made her laugh some more but I didn’t retaliate cause it was true. “Well, goodbye Tom.” She held her hand out to me and I took it and we shook on it.

“Goodbye, (y/n).” she smiled before finally letting go of my hand and she started heading back up the stairs towards the palace. Graaahhh! You bloody idiot go after her! This could be the last time you see her! Go. After. Her. C’mon Spiderman! “(Y/n) wait!” I raced up towards her and I quickly said as I gripped her shoulders, “I pray I don’t get shot for this.” Then I went for it.

I kissed her, right on the lips.

I felt her tense up but she didn’t push me away. I felt her wrap her arms around me as the kiss deepened a bit before we finally separated. The two of us softly panting and I said.

“God I—I’m sorry I-I-I-I just….it’s just that I….” she interrupted me by kissing me again before whispering.

“You have no idea how long I’ve dreamed for this to happen.”

“R-really?”

“Yeah. Sorry if that sounds creepy.”

“No! No not at all. I—it’s just when you first walked out it….it looked like I was looking at an angel, oh god that sounds so cringy doesn’t it?”

“A little. But also sweet. Most boys that I meet either just want to get to the crown or just treat me as a Princess. They don’t see me for what’s underneath, and I’m glad you got to see that.”

“Anytime. So…..are we….” I drawled out as I gestured between the two of us. She giggled and said.

“Only if you’re okay with it.”

“I’m okay if you’re okay.”

“Okay then we’re okay.”

“Okay.”

“Alright this is getting old.” She joked which made us both laugh.

“Can I….get your number?” She nodded and we exchanged phone numbers with each other and I sent her a test text and once she got it, she simply replied with a heart emoji. “I’ll give you a call whenever we get done filming.”

“Sounds good, have fun filming. Spiderman.” I smiled at her and gave her one last kiss before she turned and walked back up towards the palace.

From the car I could see the guys all giving me emphasized winks and thumbs up. I rolled my eyes at them but I couldn’t help but thank those guys in the end. If they hadn’t gotten me to admit that I had fallen in love with (y/n), I wouldn’t have gotten the guts to kiss her and show her how I felt about her.

As I got into the car, I couldn’t help but stare down at her message and so I sent her a kissy face emoji along with a little message. That typical three word phrase “I Love you” MY Princess.

#tom holland #tom holland request #tom holland x reader #tom holland imagine #spiderman x reader #spiderman far from home #spiderman ffh cast #tom holland imagines #tom holland fanfic #tom holland fanfiction #peter parker #peter parker imagine #spiderman imagine #spiderman cast imagines #spiderman cast imagine

146 notes · View notes

queennicoleinboots · 5 years ago

Text

A Whole Bear World with Fartman

"BaeBae! BaeBae!" I chanted in Native American fashion as I playbeat Joebear's leg.

Joebear laughed and chanted along.

Kissy sounded like the broken toys that never worked. The broken toys were much like the people in our neighborhood. To go forward, they have go backwards and sideways and do the twist. They get bewildered when you say normal shit, but when you talk crazy, they seem normal. They seem so allergic to new knowledge and to half-bears half-humans.

They don't like computer science majors like Joebear or Albear. They start glitching and having panic attacks.

Joebear mauled me and gave me a hug. I began to rub his bear butt. All of a sudden, I felt his butt begin to break wind. He let out a fart that sounded like an angel's trumpet.

"Oh! My bowels are moving!" Joebear said as he ran into the bathroom and closed the door.

Preston Nichols, the scientist, then faded into existence. "That toilet seat costs $150. But, it honors his bear butt," he said super seriously before he burst into laughter.

His laughter is so contagious that I started to laugh.

When Joebear emerged from the bathroom, Preston Nichols then faded out of existence.

"You're an asshole," Joebear said super seriously before he burst into laughter.

I started laughing hysterically again. My sides were splitting. My belly all of a sudden became super pregnant from laughter and the presence of Joebear's sexy bear body.

--------------------------------------------------

I was on a hospital bed and contracting like crazy. Joebear, Albear, Fartman, Kissy, Garfield, and Tug were circled around me. The Chinese lady I met in the lab where we were first introduced to this mainframe was my nurse. I had learned that her name is Chung Ming.

After Chung Ming helped me birth my first cub, whom Joebear and I named Paddington Joe, Fartman fell asleep in a chair.

I fell asleep after Paddington Joe was washed and placed in my arms.

-----------------------------------------------------------------

Fartman was melting his computers and his cell phones with his toxic farts. "Goddamn computers! They don't work! I can't get access to my bank account what the fuck?" he screamed.

He threw his small, flip cell phone in the air and turned to fart on it. It disintregrated in thin air.

"I'm so pissed I'm going to fart on every goddamn computer there is on the Earth!" he screamed as he farted on his silver laptop. "Fuck you."

He farted on boom boxes that sang "I'm Gonna Be (500 miles)" by The Proclaimers.

In fact, I watched him fart on the Publix ATM machine with his to the beat of "I'm Gonna Be (500 miles)" by The Proclaimers. He also spoke in a Gaelic language as he farted on the ATM to submission. The ATM magically was restored to its former glory of being a new ATM machine.

"You needed a zero at the beginning of every account number this goddamn bank has!" Fartman screamed. "Sangeetha!!!"

"I'm Gonna Be (500 miles)" by The Proclaimers was playing in the background as Fartman was running around and farting on random ATM machines. He even farted on the parts of Peter's computer that flew outside of his house.

Apparently, Peter was beating his computer inside of his house this time. I wondered if Ted the Alligator was arguing with him again.

When Fartman returned home from farting on random ATM machines around the Southern United States, he came home and farted on the pieces of his new laptop computer.

"I'm Gonna Be (500 miles)" by The Proclaimers stopped playing in the background.

I cracked up, laid on the couch, and damn near had a coronary from laughing so hard yet again. I could also barely breathe from the noxious fumes from Fartman's ass.

"Fucking piece of shit. I just want to open up my computer and do a few things. I turn the damn fucking thing on, and three games and little gray creatures who drink Lysol pop up on my screen!" Fartman yelled a mighty Tarzan yell.

"Holy Shit not again! Donald Marshall talked about them when he exposed the cloning facilities!!!!" I shouted while getting in a fetal position and snickering.

"Oh God," he said. "Computers are getting worse and worse!!!!"

I laughed. He continued to fart on the laptop. "I have things to do. I don't have time to fuck with little gray creatures who drink Lysol," he said.

I'm Gonna Be (500 miles)" by The Proclaimers started playing in the background.

"Seriously. Get this goddamn fucking shit off my computer!" Fartman yelled as he farted on the laptop to submission in rhythm with "I'm Gonna Be (500 miles)" by The Proclaimers.

I'm Gonna Be (500 miles)" by The Proclaimers stopped playing in the background. Mickey Mouse appeared, and the Pokemon battle theme song started playing.

"You fucking asshole!" Mickey Mouse screamed at Fartman.

"What the fuck?! Who manifested YOU?!" Fartman yelled.

"The little gray creatures in your computer that you broke!" Mickey Mouse yelled.

"Oh God get the fuck out of here!" Fartman yelled and sounded like George Carlin.

"Yeeeeessssssssssss!!!" Mickey Mouse sang before he vanished.

The Pokemon battle theme song stopped. I'm Gonna Be (500 miles)" by The Proclaimers started playing in the background again.

Fartman continued to fart on his cell phone. He pooped his pants.

-----------------------------------------------------------------

I was taking a dump in Fartman's bathroom and giving birth to yet another poop child. My butt was sore as I was pooping.

This poop child was the longest one yet. I decided to call him Artemis Peter because he was tall. He was my fifth poop child... and also the messiest. I used every rag in the house to clean up after myself.

-----------------------------------------------------------------

A TV popped out of Fartman's cabinet and showed this commercial:

Do you need to shave your beard?

Don't use your razor!

Use the Vaginasaurus Rex!

The commercial showed a mound with mock pubic hair on it. The mock pubic hair was full of tiny razor blades that looked like pubic hair. The vaginal lips were in the middle of the mound, and a handle could go in there as a guide for the razor.

The commercial showed the man shaving his beard and trimming his moustache with the Vaginasaurus Rex.

Fartman and I laughed our asses off while the commercial was playing.

"It will only cost you $19.99 plus handling if you order now by calling 1-800-VA6INA9," the commercial said.

The TV went back into his cabinet. Fartman called 1-800-VA6INA1 and reordered the Vaginasaurus Rex. He wore out his first one by shaving too much.

My phone rang. I went to see whom it was. It was Joebear.

"Hello BaeWhuhhhhhh!!!!" I yelled happily.

"Bae! I need to tell you something," he said.

"What, Buh?" I asked.

"The hunger games are here," he said.

"Excuse me. What?!" I asked.

"It's true. The price of housing is going up. Food costs have skyrocketed in the last seven years, and families are fighting each other to survive, Bae. Our former friends are zombies and ghouls," he said.

"Yes, Bae. And don't forget! The new world order is here. The banks are changing the numbers on the account. The people have no money. The banks have all the money," I added.

Joe was making all kinds of angry bear noises to prove a point.

"Damn, BooBoo. How did this happen?" I asked.

"It has been happening since before our grandparents were born," he answered.

"Damn, BaeBae. What shall we do?" I asked.

"I SHOULD EXPECT MY VAGINASAURUS REX NEXT WEEK!!!??? THANK YOU!" Fartman yelled excitedly.

I giggled. Fartman is a fucked-up human being.

"Finance an RV and live off the grid. Remember Zombieland," Joebear answered.

"Oh yes. We must rebel against apartment complex companies, banks, insurance companies, myspace.com, and the new world order," I said.

Fartman was now farting obnoxiously on the printer.

"Ugggghhhhhh!!! Can't have a conversation with THAT going on in the background!" Joebear shouted.

"I know, bae. Fartman is farting on his computer accessories again . I have to witness the never-ending farting," I said.

Joebear growled loudly. "That's fucked-up," he said.

"It is, but it's necessary," I said. "Computers are part of the new world order."

" Yes, BaeBae. Well, I won't keep you," Joebear said.

"Love you, Boo!!!" I yelled.

"Love you, Baelove!!!" Joebear yelled before growling.

I made dolphin noises in return.

We both hung up, and I witnessed Fartman shitting on the printer.

End music: "I'm Gonna Be (500 Miles)" by The Proclaimers. End scene: Fartman walking backwards toward the camera endlessly while farting to the beat of the song.

2 notes · View notes

eldritchsurveys · 5 years ago

Text

887.

5k Survey XIV

651. Do you think that it would be a good idea if people served in the army, navy or air force for a while before they were allowed to vote? >> I don’t think it would be a good idea at all. In fact, I think that’s a terrible idea. Just utterly awful. Absolutely deplorable. Hate it. Next. 652. If you were required to do this to vote, would you? >> Of course not. I’d literally rather just leave the country, as insanely difficult as that is. 653. Do people often give you weird looks? >> I don’t know if people’s looks are meant to be perceived as “weird” or not. I’d prefer people not look at me at all, really. 654. Do you like Japanese cooking? >> I’ve greatly enjoyed what I’ve had of it. There are some things I still haven’t had a chance to try and really want to, like yakisoba and mentaiko. 655. Do you care for stray animals? >> No.

656. Which animated movies have you seen and what did you think of them: A Charlie Brown Christmas: I did not see this. A Garfield Halloween: Or this. The Secret of Nimh: Or this... The Last Unicorn: Okay, I haven’t seen any of them. Next. The original Lord of the Rings cartoons: 657. Are you ambidextrous (equally good at using both hands)? >> No. 658. Do you always say; “bless you” after someone sneezes, or do you hesitate? >> I usually don’t say anything, actually. I don’t understand why I should (”because everyone else does” doesn’t fly with me). 659. If you and your friends could go away for 2 days over Halloween weekend where would you go? >> New Orleans again, probably. It was so much fun last year. 660. Which of these animated movies have you seen and what did you think of them: Watership Down: As the Wind Blows: Grave of the Fireflies: Oh, I’ve seen this! I thought it was lovely. How the Grinch Stole Christmas: Spirited Away: I saw this a long time ago so I don’t remember it so well, but I do remember it being very imaginative. 661. Do you feel that society is male dominated, female dominated, or neutral? >> I don’t know, nor does it particularly concern me at this point. 662. What words offend you? >> Well, the N-word. 663. They’re just words. Can you get over it? >> I don’t see why I should. It’s literally a word meant to cause harm, I think that’s pretty significant. 664. Have you ever looked into different religions? >> Of course, that’s one of my favourite things to do. 665. Which ones have you looked into? >> Multiple forms of Christianity by default, since it’s everywhere anyway. Judaism of course, it’s my fave (particularly Reform, obviously). Buddhism, a bit of Hinduism, Wicca, Satanism, bit of Zoroastrianism, Hellenic Reconstructionism, peeked into the door of African Traditional Religion (strange I didn’t peek harder than that, I know, but feeling alienated from one’s own genetic history is a bitch), various others in passing. 666. What do you think of Satanism as a religion? >> I think it’s neat. 667. Do you like it better when your classes are taught sitting in rows or sitting in a circle? >> --- 668. Have you ever read your own tarot cards? >> Many times. 669. Which ones do you like better, the three old star wars movies or the 2 new ones? >> Damn, remember when there were only five Star Wars movies lmao... 670. If you scream in outer space does it make a sound? >> From what I understand, space is a vacuum, so whether the sound itself is created or not is one thing (that’s like the tree in the forest argument at that point), but you probably wouldn’t hear it as such. Don’t quote me, though, I might have misinterpreted what I learned. 671. If you saw The Queen of the Damned did you want to be a vampire/Goth afterwards? >> I mean, I was already a goth (and I think I was already in the vampyre scene) by the time I saw that movie. 672. If you saw SLC Punk did you want to be punk afterwards? >> No. 673. What is your favorite zombie movie? >> Shaun of the Dead was pretty good. I generally don’t like zombie movies. 674. Best kids birthday party: ceramics, chuck-e-cheese, roller rink, bowling, sleep over, movie theater >> --- 675. What were your parties like when you were a kid? >> ...Didn’t have any. 676. Best teen (about 15-16) birthday party: ceramics, chuck-e-cheese, roller rink, bowling, sleep over, movie theater, house party, catered in a hall, restaurant, family trip, concert >> --- 677. What are/were your 15-16 year old parties like? >> ... 678. Best 18th birthday party: ceramics, chuck-e-cheese, roller rink, bowling, sleep over, movie theater, house party, catered in a hall, restaurant, family trip, concert, club, pool hall, college party >> --- 679. If you are 18 what was your party like? >> I don’t even want to think about what turning eighteen was like, thanks. 680. Best 21st birthday party: ceramics, chuck-e-cheese, roller rink, bowling, sleep over, movie theater, house party, catered in a hall, restaurant, family trip, concert, club, pool hall, college party, bar, Atlantic city/Las Vegas trip >> --- 681. If you saw The Craft were you interested in wicca/paganism/magic afterwards? >> No, The Craft wouldn’t have put me on to that. Like, I see how it happened with so many other people, but like... I’m pretty sure that movie didn’t end well, from what little I remember, lmao. 682. What are your top 3 priorities? >> *shrug* 683. If you saw fight club did you want to get into a fistfight afterwards? >> I did see Fight Club, finally, but I wasn’t really interested in the physical violence aspect of it. The bit about Tyler Durden and the Narrator being the same person was way more interesting. 684. What is your favorite smell? >> --- 685. Give everything below a humor rating (1 = laugh your ass off, 2 = lol, 3 = smile, 4 = lame, 5 = not funny, 6 = offensive): People falling I’m not going to do this. Context and delivery are generally what makes things funny to me, no matter what it is, and that’s that. Rape jokes Sarcastic comments Blonde jokes Dirty jokes God/religion jokes Long-ass jokes Death jokes Pain/sickness jokes Animals doing cute stuff Bodily functions Knock jokes Ethnic jokes Puns Ironic situations 685. If you saw Cruel Intentions did you want to have lots of meaningless sex afterwards? >> LOL fuck no. I adore that trashy ass movie, though. 686. Do you get at least three hugs per day? >> No thanks. 687. What should someone never say to you/call you if they want to remain on your good side? >> That’s a pretty long list, to be honest. 688. If you saw Trainspotting did you want to do drugs afterwards? >> I don’t think so. I really want to rewatch Trainspotting but I can’t find it on streaming anywhere. It’s so annoying. Maybe I’ll suck it up and rent it (and the sequel) at some point. 689. Do movies have a great influence on you? >> I mean, sure. I’ve seen a lot of movies, and a fair number of them have been emotionally or spiritually or cognitively affecting. 690. Do you have a favorite reality TV show? >> No. 691. Are there certain roles that people are pressured to play in society or can they basically do whatever they want? >> Yes. 692. How does the 2004 Dawn of the Dead remake compare to the original movie? >> I don’t know, I haven’t seen either one. 693. Have you ever held a magnifying glass over an insect to burn it? >> I never got to do that. I’m still curious about it, and I swear one day I’m going to try it, lmao. 694. Have you ever pulled the wings off a fly, butterfly or any other insect? >> No. 695. What would you think of a guy (if you’re into guys) or a girl (if you’re into girls) who wanted to take you to the park to feed the birds and look at the turtles and fish in the water on a date? >> I’m fine with going to the park, that sounds like a good time. I love parks. 696. Do you use public pools? >> No. 697. Do you use public bathrooms? >> Sometimes. I usually don’t have to, though. Unless I’m at a bar, lol. 698. Do you use public showers? >> Nooooooo. 699. How old will you be in 17 years? >> 50. 700. Would it effect you at all if you knew that a very large meteor was headed towards earth that would impact in 17 years? >> Of course it would affect me, because I do hope to live past 50. But, hey. Them’s the breaks.

#surveys #survey #5000 question survey

1 note · View note

spacemilkies · 6 years ago

Note

Bart Allen x reader

summary: He’d ran to the past purely by the determination to unselfishly prevent the future from fallling into ruin.

For that for that act of valor, wasn’t he allowed this one selfish want ?

Notes: It took me awhile to come up with something. Sorry for the lateness. Here’s a little snippet drabble thing.

When he’d first appeared he wasn’t quite sure who was more surprised. Naturally he managed to send the premature flock of superheroes into a mild panic.

That wasn’t entirely intentional. So far into the future calculations were somewhat accurate at best. Nathaniel had planned for the when, but the where was more abstract in nature.

So yes, Bart was equally as astonished to not only find the machine in working order but to find himself at the center control panel of Mount Justice?

Now that was crash.

All his idols were in attendance.

The creative and instinct driven Beast Boy.

The premature and determined Robin.

And oh man, the notorious Nightwing in the flesh.

And then there was you.

For a moment Bart wished for nothing more than looser suit to drag away the spandex from red itch crawling up his neck. The poster on his wall had depicted you as an older hero, matured in both your talents and prowess. But there had been plenty of opportunities for him to imagine what it might have been like to fight beside you.

Share the excitement and spoils of victory.

If only he’d been born a few decades earlier.

If only you hadn’t-

The time capsule hero jerked in response,“Careful now, watch the claws!”

As part of the infamous Allen lineage, all speedsters relied on that split second decision where time slowed to their advantage.

It separated life from death.

Freedom from capture.

“Now that would have not been crash. Seriously Robin ? I have your action figure man. “

Bart shook a non threatening fist from his perch atop the massive screen. He’d narrowly managed to avoid quick shot of cable. The young hero hadn’t even been aware of his speed inclement yet smartly chose to go after his legs.

He couldn’t put it past the detective.

It was obvious that his window of opportunity would have dwindled. During his fanboy episode the startlement had worn off.

And now he was outnumbered.

… yet still a little crash.

Yeah, he expected to feel the mode shortly after.

But damn did he enjoy going head to head with the best of the best.

Sure, they were still in their youth and nothing compared to what they would be in the future but damn wasn’t it still a thrill.

No one could blame him for at least attempting to shift out of the bindings. His vibrations only managed to encourage the current Robin to tighten the ropes further.

Bart wasn’t entirely certain that he hadn’t taken a bit of pleasure in the act.

“You’re from the future? Ha, right dude.”

Bart’s attention whipped over to the green meta human, taking in the distinctively furry texture of his skin. Funnily it had been a small detail the cameras managed to miss when capturing his likeness.

“Oh man, Beastboy if only I could get started on you.” Unfortunately, Bart had seen enough movies depicting the consequences of speaking so openly about what was to come.

No, he would need to be sensible here.

Regardless of how easy it would be to drag these chump- eh- heroic deities.

“Look, no hard feelings. I’m one of you!” His hand twitched from the desire to bring it to his chest in emphasis. “ Name’s Bart Allen. You know, of the Barry Allen legacy? Really, the speed should have been an indicator.”

Among the skeptical faces it was yours he kept darting to the most. He couldn’t help it. You were just so young and so here.

And right in front-

Oh well … was right in front of him before Robin had taken the initiative to cut in between, effectively severing the point of contact.

Bart would have been more baffled had he not understood the root of the protective stance.

It didn’t help that bat family was incredibly rich.

They just had to be eligible bachelors to boot.

Speaking of the family, where had the older bat flown off to?

“Dude if you’re honest we can figure this out. And then you can go.”

Bart tried extremely hard not to roll his eyes but it was painful. The littlest bat really needed to brush up on his interrogations. The summation of this little group was only the junior leagues.

Once he really got started talking they were going to have to draw out the majors.

“What if he is? It wouldn’t be the craziest thing to happen here,” your voice trilled over silence.

Okay, maybe crossing spacial dimensions was a little different but it was the future! He obviously shared some connection to the Flash- grandson did he say?

All you were saying is that you couldn’t rule out the impossible without considering the possibility.

Your gaze flickered uncertainly to the bulky machine sitting like a quiet observer.

Beside you Robin scuffed I’m firm disbelief. Granted it too a lot to get the junior detective to think outside of the realm of possible. You were starting to think he was being a bit close minded.

The two of them had barley known one another for twenty minutes and you could already feel the bad blood thrumming under the veins. It was obvious that Bart knew something they didn’t but was it so inherent that Tim would react out of instinct ?

“Not you too,” he groaned. He caught your eyes from the side. “A tourist ?”

Okay, that was an odd thing to call oneself given the situation. It was hard to determine what was more concerning.

That fact that a kid would travel so lightheartedly into the past without considering the consequences or how easily accessible it was for him to do so.

Beastboy settles his arms across his chest,”I don’t know man. I mean, yeah, I’m green but from the future? That’s a little crazy.”

“Batman will deal with him,” Tim reasoned under his breath.

As subtly as you could, you reached for him, finger tips just skimming the callouses of his own. While his face didn’t portray emotion, your loose grip tingled with the ripple of calm you were trying to make mutual.

Unbeknownst to you, the red haired speedster followed the minuscule movement with a grimace.

“Easy, Robin. If he travel from the future he must have accumulated quite the thirst. Barry’s grandson, right? That’s quite the journey.”

Bart watched Nightwing with interest as he reapplied with a glass of water in hand. Bringing his tied hands up, he accepted it with a shallow nod. He was a little thirsty but more in the lack of proper clean water kind of way and less of a time travel exhaustion.

It wasn’t until he’d taken a few sips before the subtle insinuation of the offer became apparent.

Now he was realizing how one graduated out of the Robin role.

“Ah, you’re not really worried about the culprit. You just want this.” Bart probably added more of the wanted specimen than necessary when he spit heartily into the glass much to the grimaced disgust of some of the observers. “There you go. Authentic DNA of the Allen family. Just don’t go cloning anyone.”

His gaze widened comically at the thought. “Oh man, that’d be so crash though. Surely Dick Grayson could figure out the proper cloning sequence. Just ask Connor.”

It had started off as a joke and tumbled horridly into a snowball effect after that. What could he say? Once he got started talking, it was just downhill from there.

To say the hero was affronted would be putting it off lightly.

“I know all of you guys? Future guy remember ?”

He gestured to each member individually.

“Dick Grayson.”

“Garfield Logan.”

“Newly appointed Robin, Tim Drake.”

And then there was you. Your eyes were already comically wide by this point as if already knowing your fate.

It didn’t matter really. He was immediately overshadowed by Beast- Garfield was who didn’t find it very crash to be the last one to get he knowledge party.

By the end of it all, he’d left the heroes more confused than the moment he’d arrived.

His ride had unfortunately arrived before he alleviate some of their obvious worries. The tell tale sound of the dimensional portal gate called out the name of another rememberable hero, but he was already shaking past the restraints before the computer could finish the introduction.

Besides he had his own history to change.

And somehow managed to alter his own future in the midst of it.

With the current Flash properly save and hopefully alive in his future, he was more than ready to return to a brighter more lively lifestyle.

When he returned, you were all better prepared for his arrival. Not so much for the older man that ‘Impule’ had hastily referred to as his great grandfather with no little excitement and current Flash and Kid Flash in tow.

It was like a backwards family reunion.

Nightwing’s analytical results had proved the impossible, well possible. Bart Allen was a direct descendant of the Allen family.

The red haired future superhero seemed to take the news with the strongest stride, not doubting his truth for a second. Part of you felt for him, this had to be his only chance to properly meet the senior Flash.

Regrettably, the meeting was cut relatively short as his urge to go home out ran the present desires. He was still an erratic variable of the future and had no place here.

A few hugs were exchanged amongst family, the current leagued Flash expressing his anticipation on meeting him again in a proper timeline.

You found yourself longing for the same. Eager to see his origin and watching the child become what you’d witnessed today.

“Well this has been crash, but gotta run.”

God, were you not looking forward to the puns though. A mutual groan rumbled amongst the gathered crowd in agreement.

Impulse had nearly disappeared into the awaiting machine before his body staled as if forgetting something. After saving the life of a hero you couldn’t imagine what other time altering event he could have on his agenda.

Then his gaze locked with yours.

Your hair fluttered behind you from the sharp gust of wind from, a noise of shock barely escaping your lips before his swallowed it down.

Somewhere behind you the sound of Tim’s shock tried to reach you but it was lost to the soft press of lips molding against your own.

Then it was over.

And you were left wading in a pool of soft baby blues.

“Oh man, I wish you could have married me instead of Drake.”

And left you stranded.

“Now I should really get going. Be nice to me in the future!”

He raced back to the machine with a sloppy salute, before sliding inside the machine. The only sound it gave was a clank of metal as the latch sealed.

And then the silence stretched on for several seconds.

“Isn’t he supposed to be in the future by now,” Garfield asked unhelpfully.

“He better be.” You felt Tim appear at your back, his growl echoing a darker intent.

There was a drawn out groan, as the metal protested the slow opening of the door. It was likely the slowest you’d ever seen and of the speedsters move as Bart reluctantly stepped out of the machine.

Something told you he wouldn’t be returning home anytime soon.

A sheepish smile pulled at his lips as his gaze darted across the room.

“Anyone else feeling the mode?”

#Anonymous #young justice imagines #bart allen x reader #bart allen imagine #bart allen fanfic #young justice x reader #yj imagine #bart allen

426 notes · View notes