#they both met in high school but went their separate ways for their college studies

[bunnies-n-bowties]

✧ Say hello to the two Sanrio characters that run my brain, Retsuko, and Melody. ✧

✧ Some close ups and individual images!✧

[violet-snail-sfw]

The first time I saw a trans woman was in porn. I was pretty young then, in early middle school I think. My first thoughts about trans women only existed in a sexual context, since that was the only place I saw us mentioned

The next time I saw trans people mentioned was a TV show presumably about trans people and transitioning. I didn't watch it, only saw the description because even as a kid I had already internalized the idea that it was taboo and I would get in trouble if my parents walked in and I was watching it

Eventually I saw enough TV and cop shows to see an episode with the dead trans hooker trope. It further reinforced the building idea that trans women were something else, separate from "normal" people and always on the outskirts of society

And then Caitlyn Jenner came out. At my Catholic middle school there were few kind things said about her and plenty of nasty comments, but this was the first time I saw trans people being publicly talked about

In high school my views on trans people started to fracture. On one hand, I was being pushed the idea that gender was about what's in your pants, that if you've got a dick your a man and there's nothing that can be done about it. On the other hand, early high school me had stumbled across some gender change erotica and quickly became obsessed with it. While it wasn't great representation, it was still pretty positive about transitioning. The people in those stories were always happier afterwards

I struggled to reconcile what parts of society were saying about trans people with my daydreaming about what I'd do if I woke up the next morning as a girl. Eventually I decided that it was just a fetish. I just thought it was hot, there was no way I could be trans because I was just a normal person. I wasn't weird or a spectacle for others to gawk at, I was just a person

Around that time I also met a trans person in passing for the first time. One of the trans guys at my high school was in one of the musicals that I went to because some of my friends were also in them. When I was talking to my friends about it after someone mentioned the trans guy and that he was trans. I wasn't really sure what to think so I kinda just didn't think about it. Thinking back, there were a few trans guys at my high school but I don't think there was a single out trans woman

Eventually in college I actually met some trans and nonbinary people. In some classes we introduced ourselves on the first day with names and pronouns which was my first exposure to people using pronouns other than just he/him and she/her. I had a few classes with trans and nonbinary people, including a survey of transgender studies class I took in my last semester. I had plenty of excuses for why I was taking it (I needed a few more credits to graduate. It still had room open. It fit with my other classes. It seemed interesting. I'm trying to be a good ally.)

Around this time as well I found some trans creators online like ContraPoints and Philosophy Tube (whom I had watched before she came out as trans). I was weirdly excited and interested when Odyssey Eurobeat came out as trans and I went to go listen to some of her music right after I heard. I was starting to have examples of trans people just being people. Not just porn stars or public spectacles, but people

Later I met and befriended a few trans women, one of whom was extremely open about her transness and happened to share a video which started the initial steps of my egg cracking and figuring out who I am now

If I had actually known any trans women, if the world had been kinder to trans people, if representation of trans women as people existed and was well known, I might have been able to realize who I was sooner. I would have been able to exist as myself for more than a tiny fragment of my life so far

Representation matters, both in media and in daily life. Trans people being out and open about who they are made it possible for me to realize that about myself. Please never stop being who you are

[eulalias-haven]

in our wildest dreams.

ㅤ─┈ the hsr characters as your cliché college tropes.

ㅤ─┈ dan heng, jing yuan, & kafka x gender neutral reader. separate.

❪⠀themes : super fluffy & sweet & cliché with a sprinkle of good ‘ol angst❕⠀❫

dan heng. ︎︎⋆ ࣪. ࿔

dan heng, your aloof childhood friend whom you drifted away from. when the two of you were young, dan heng was more friendly and approachable—gentle, as he dressed your wounds from rough housing with the other kids too much. however, a certain incident changed both him and his relationship with you.

you had zero idea why dan heng was much more distant with you; there was even a huge fight between you two, with you desperately trying to seek an answer from your beloved childhood friend. yet the response you sought for couldn’t be found.

the distance between the two of you gradually increased—smiles were hidden from one another, eye contact was avoided, and the physical touch you were once so comfortable with suddenly disappeared. this went on, even after the both of you graduated high school and went on with your separate ways.

separate—until you found out that dan heng is your partner for your lab final project. separate—until dan heng’s gaze finds yours once more, and just like before; all ︎︎those years ago, you feel your heart race. until you realize that dan heng was trying to mend the broken bridge between the two of you, wishing for your smile to be directed towards him once again.

jing yuan. ︎︎⋆ ࣪. ࿔

the untouchable student body president who aces in everything he did. jing yuan was adored and loved by both students and professor’s alike—his plethora of fans were unending, his charm never failing to capture anyone’s heart. until, of course, he met you.

perhaps jing yuan underestimated your way of living; you’re a college student who simply wishes to graduate and find a job, not someone who has the time to fawn over a human being. this is what you tell him—bluntly, before you brush past him, waving at the stunned president; calling out that friendship is still plausible.

it blooms, though. the friendship between the two of you grows into a lovely flower, your bond inseparable. jing yuan found you amusing, and you found him annoying, but in the fondest way possible. jing yuan helped you study, you helped him evade the numerous stalkers. jing yuan helped you in your darkest times, and you held him when the stress took a toll on him, reminding you that despite his achievements and what he presented, jing yuan is still human.

once the two of you graduated—the student body president grinned at you; smile akin to a lion. when asked why, jing yuan will simply laugh, and tell you that now that university is over, he has a chance. a chance for what?

well, a chance to finally make you his, of course. he waited four years for you—and he’s not going to waste any more time, when he could spend his life with you by his side.

kafka. ︎︎⋆ ࣪. ࿔

the life of the party, the famous student who everyone wanted to be friends with. kafka was someone both envied yet loved, who could bring someone into a trance with her honeyed smiles. she was a model student—with high grades and an extensive social circle that extends beyond university itself.

including you; her sheltered “bestfriend”, whose wealthy parents were far too strict and overprotective to the point that it was stifling, especially with someone whose soul was carefree. kafka met you when you were about to throw a heel at a snatcher, who she caught. the moment she handed your bag—designer, brand new, expensive—kafka knew she had to befriend you.

not just because of your wealth; she isn’t some jerk who befriended people because of their social status. (well, for some, that was the case. but not with you; kafka could never lift a finger against you.) but because of that fire within you—that stubborn streak that refused to bow down to your parents, interested her.

she’s the main cause of your escapades that often had your parents grounding you; catching you when you threw yourself off of your balcony, letting your arms wrap around her midsection as the two of you sped through the highway, your cheerful laughter ringing in kafka’s ear, reminding her, once more, that perhaps there is more to life than what it seems.

[droids-in-disguise]

Good Omens 2 making me think a lot about religion and religious deconstruction.

For context, I grew up Baptist, went to Catholic school for jr. high, and attended a private Christian school for my undergrad.

I grew up being told that the Bible was the ultimate source of truth, that is was the guidebook for our lives as Christians, and that, most importantly it should be taken literally.

I started wrestling with the concept of queerness when I was in jr. high. By then I had joined tumblr and had a best friend who was openly pan. But it was still a problem, because my church's reading of the Bible was that being gay was a sin. I existed very much in that "hate the sin, love the sinner" space that so many Christians seem to think is the appropriate answer. I also realized that despite being told that my church was doing Christianity the "right" way, these Catholics seemed to be just as sure in their conviction that they were doing it the right way.

In high school, I could sometimes privately admit to myself that the label "asexual" felt good, but more often than not I would lie to myself and say I was just too busy with grades and extracurricular activities to commit time to dating boys. I certainly never came out to anyone.

Ironically, it was the theology classes I took in college combined with the freedom of living away from my parents that helped me to finally realize that the Church as I knew it did not have the final say.

I learned that Biblical canon was not always set in stone and that it varies from denomination, that Hebrew and Greek words can have more than one translation or even no direct translation in English, I learned about liberation theology, and about womanist/feminist interpretations of scripture. Outside of theology class I took classes focused on Islamic history and literature. I had conversations about faith with my Muslim, Jewish, and Pagan peers. I met queer people who were both queer and Christian and who didn't see these identities as conflicting.

I had an old, hardass British lit professor who said something once during our study of Paradise Lost that I'll never forget, and that was that he believed God was like a diamond or some other precious gemstone, and that that all the different groups of Christians, Jews, and Muslims were all just seeing different facets of the same thing. Apparently this statement was something he had once told university higher-ups and it nearly cost him his job.

Despite all the deconstruction and the private acknowledgement that the church I grew up in did not have a monopoly on truth, I still went to church for years after. I did have the good sense to stop going to my parents' church and found one that was much more progressive and openly accepting of queer people, but even still it was hard to separate how much of me was there because I wanted to be there and how much was out of obligation or some sense of needing to reclaim my now tarnished view of the Church. I'm not sure where I sit now, only that I don't think I can be the one to create change from within, I am too damaged and tired for that.

All of this is why I think I relate so deeply to Aziraphale and the journey his character has undertaken, and why claims that he behaved out-of-character in the finale or that his coffee was drugged irritate me so much, because in another universe where I'm Aziraphale, I could see myself doing and saying the exact same things.

Letting go is hard, it's been painful and traumatic for me, I can't imagine what it would be for a being like Aziraphale with a much longer history.

There's such a strong desire to believe that it's only some of the Church that's bad and that if we have enough good people on the inside we can change it for the better.

Aziraphale has been hurt by Heaven and he's realized that Heaven is just as capable of doing bad as Hell (in many ways what Heaven does is more sinister because they won't admit to the bad and hide behind the façade of goodness and moral superiority), but he's a people pleaser and he's been an angel for so long, he can't just let go of his community and everything he has ever known no matter how poorly he has been treated by said Heavenly community. So then he gets this offer, work for Heaven, be in charge, make a difference. He can keep Heaven and Crowley, have his cake and eat it too. Of course he takes the job.

Crowley has had the outsider perspective for longer, he was the first to start asking questions. Perhaps there was a time when he too would've said yes to the Metatron, but now he knows better.

"We don't need Heaven, we don't need Hell. They're toxic!"

Aziraphale hasn't reached the same level of understanding that Crowley has, that no matter how many times he goes crawling back, Heaven will never truly accept him or be the place for him.

They way this story has been told over the past two seasons has been magnificent. Just as I can pinpoint all the different moments in my life that have helped to unravel what I thought I knew, we as the audience get to watch Aziraphale have these revelations too. In the first season we have the ineffable plan and this idea that armageddon is necessary and that Aziraphale shouldn't be the one to question it, but he does question it because he loves humanity, sees their goodness, and can't understand why a good God would allow them to be destroyed.

In season two, I found the bits surrounding Job to be especially poignant. First the shock that Heaven would condone the killing of children, then the realization that Crowley wouldn't kill the children or the goats going against his demonic "nature" proving Aziraphale's assumptions wrong, and finally the fear that lying would make him into a demon and the surprise when this turned out not to be true.

I have a feeling that by the end of season 3, when we get it, we will have the satisfaction of seeing Aziraphale and Crowley finally on the same page and I for one can't wait.

[astoldbyaja]

Bark like you want it! - Ch. 1~AU Demon Slayer~

Yara wants to enjoy her college life, studying and fucking and living her best life. However she keeps getting caught between a rock and a lot of hard places when the Kizuki gang and the Hashira gang get involved in her life. So she fucked Akaza, okay and! And Kyojuro may want to drill her until she over flows with his seed. Sure! But can't they just leave her alone after that? Fuck, can't ALL of them stop bothering her!

-------------------------

Freshman and sophomore year of college were pretty straight forward, but when I became a junior, things started to become complicated for me and I didn’t know how to back out of it.

I was pretty content being single and having my fun. My student apartments were pretty relaxed too even for me being new to them. My roommates, Shinobu and Mitsuri were very welcoming. I kept to myself mostly and the two respected my privacy as I did theirs. They always had friends over, but I never left my room to meet them. I didn’t even have classes with them which was fine too.

When class was over, I hit the school gym, showered then came home to study. Sometimes I’d get tea or coffee somewhere in between.

Somehow along the way, I caught the attention of a student in one of my classes, Akaza. He has beautiful eyes and a way with words which made me more attracted to him. We went out for a few drinks, and I made it clear I have no intentions of dating. I didn’t need the titles and he was fine with that.

“Oh, fuck Yara! Your pussy is so fucking tight it feels like it’s going to devour me!” he growled as I bounced my body hard and fast on him. He holds my hips hard.

“Yeah, you like how my pussy feels around your big dick!” I panted as I felt my walls locking around him with each gushing movement. I could really get him screaming.

“Ngggh fuck yeesss!” he yells as he jackhammers up into me.

After he violates my clit, we’re both howling with intense pleasure. We’d collapse in the bed as one sweaty mess. But once I come down from the delicious high, I was dressed and gone.

Now he was becoming an annoying pest who refused to respect my boundaries. If I was reading in the courtyard on the grass, he’d come and join. But not just him, he’d invite his friends Doma, Kokushibo, Ume, and her brother Gyutaro.

“Fellas meet my girl, Yara!” he introduced.

“More like a lover, not his girl.” I corrected immediately. Yet they embraced me like their own against my will. They all clung to me, Akaza specifically.

I pushed him against the nearest building wall when his friends finally separated from us.

“Are you crazy? Why would you introduce me like that?” I asked. He smirked.

“Why not, it’s quite an honor to be labeled my girl.” he said with a purr. I frowned.

“We both agreed we’d just fuck nothing more nothing less.” I hissed.

“Well can’t change it now. Besides being labeled as my girl gets you protection in the gang.” he said. I stiffened immediately at his words.

“The fuck are you talking about?” I asked. He looked up almost innocently.

“Did I not mention that? Yeah, we’re just a gang of misfits is all! Nothing to worry about!” he said. I was immediately turned off, not liking this at all.

“Stay the fuck away from me.” I replied and walked around him.

“Yara, come on!” he whined but I was already on my way home.

Once I arrived back to my apartment, I could see Mitsuri and Shinobu sitting on the couch in the living room with… Shinobu’s sister Kanae? She was a senior I had met in passing. She was nice just like her sister. I smiled.

“Hey all. Kanae nice to see you again.” I replied putting my bag down noticing the looks of worry on their faces. I looked at them all. “What’s wrong?”

“PLEASE DON’T TELL ME IT’S TRUE!” Mitsuri cried out suddenly rushing up and taking my hands shaking them.

“Wha-” I was so confused. Kanae looked at me sternly standing up and approaching me. I watched her confused.

“Yara. I would like to ask you something and I want you to answer me honestly.” she said. I shrugged.

“What?” I asked now growing worried.

“Is it true you are dating Akaza?” she asked. Now my face dropped.

“Ugh, no! He and I are not dating at all! Geez word spreads fast.” I replied. Mitsuri sniffled.

“R-really you meant it?” she asked. I nodded.

“I mean it. We sleep together now and then, but that’s it. I made it perfectly clear I do not want a relationship with him or anyone else.” I snapped.

Shinobu joined her sister.

“Good. We have no reason to request this of you, but since you are our roommate, I must ask you to never bring him or his friends to this apartment or tell them where you live.” she said.

“Shinobu what is going on, you’re scaring me?” I asked worriedly.

“Let’s just say those guys don’t get along with our gang.” Shinobu said. My eyebrow flexed.

“What- gang!” I blurted.

“Exactly that.” Kanae said. “Yara, please promise us you won’t bring him to the apartment.” she said. I nodded.

“Okay, I won’t. I broke things off with him already.” I replied. There was a knock on the door and Mitsuri squealed happily.

“That must be the boys and Obanai with the pizza!” she called happily. I looked at the two sisters worriedly wondering exactly who I was rooming with. But they both smiled sweetly now.

If I wasn’t mistaken from the constant conversations and moaning from heated passion, Obanai was dating Mitsuri, Sanemi was dating Kanae, there was Giyu who was with Shinobu, and I think that was it. Two other men have been around before, a large man by the name of Tengen who, I heard was dating three women at once, and a fiery blonde with red tipped hair who went by Kyojuro. He definitely liked to stare at me whenever I had to enter the common areas for something. He was always smiling with those big bug eyes of his.

“Good evening Yara, you look nice today!”

“Yara good morning, I trust you slept well. I’m making breakfast for everyone as our movie night has ended. Help yourself!”

“Hello, Yara how are your studies going!”

“Hi beautiful.” Obanai said giving Mitsuri a peck on the lips before entering the house. “I’ve got the food.”

“And I’ve got the drinks!” Tengen boomed as he followed in behind him.

“And I have the horror movies- Oh Yara, hello!” Kyojuro said, tone transitioning from happy to downright excited. Obanai and Tengen gave polite smiles.

“Yara.” They said in unison. I smiled and waved respectfully at everyone however now I was worried about exactly who these men were. What gang were they even in?

“Hello guys.” I replied moving to pick my backpack up and head to my room.

“Oh, Yara wait why don’t you join us! You bought all the stuff we’re going to eat off of!” Mitsuri said as she placed some paper plates down on the table. I had restocked with plastic plates, cups and utensils for their get togethers. It felt odd not contributing in some way to an area we all shared so sometimes I would bring stuff in like groceries.

I smiled warmly and shook my head.

“I don’t want to be an added wheel. This is you all’s thing I don’t want to intrude.” I said feeling my phone vibrate in my pocket. I looked to see it was Akaza.

“Come oooover. I need your plump ass on my cock like yesterday!”

“No.” I merely replied and tucked my phone in my pocket.

“Are you sure. We just want you to feel like you’re a part of the group.” Shinobu said. No, I don’t want to be a part of any group!

*vibrate vibrate*

“I’ll eat it from the baaack. No strings attached!!”

I had to bite back the groan that almost left me. He’s so good at eating me out from the back too. I tucked my phone away into my pocket and looked at Shinobu.

“Alright, what movie are you all watching?” I asked. I ignored Kyojuro fist bumping in the air quietly.

“Freddy vs. Jason!” Tengen said happily draping his arm around my shoulder. Damn his arm was heavy. I nodded.

“Okay let me just set my things down in my room.” I replied. Shinobu smiled happily and Mitsuri clapped.

“Yay!” she cheered.

I dressed in a t-shirt and shorts and watched as the boxes of pizza were opened. Sanemi looked at me and motioned for me to get a slice, but I said everyone can get food first and I’d get my food last.

“You are such a sweetheart!” Mitsuri claimed and I chuckled.

“It’s always expected in my home for guests and children to feed themselves first.” I replied.

“Nonsense, please get your food.” Kyojuro said, and I shook my head.

“I insist.” I said politely. He crossed his arms.

“Not until you go first.” he said. Stop being difficult!

“Well will someone get food so we can start the damn movie!” Sanemi complained. That’s when I realized everyone was sitting at a spot in the living room pizza on a plate and a plastic cup on a coaster. I looked at Kyojuro who only smiled waiting for me to get a slice.

I caved and got my food and sat down. Throughout the movie my phone was vibrating so much I put it on silent. Akaza sure was persistent. I had hoped my glancing at my phone went unnoticed as I felt rude for looking at it so many times during the movie.

I’d like to think it all ended there with everyone, but it did not. Akaza came looking for me on campus and cornered me in between the science and communications building while Dumo and Kokushibo stood watch at the entrance. I should have been afraid of the dark look in his eyes, but I wasn’t. I know that there are men out there who couldn’t or wouldn’t take rejection well and I learned Akaza was one of them. The stories I’ve heard about women falling victim to these assholes used to scare me, but now if anything it pissed me off because of their audacity.

“Just who the hell do you think you ignoring me like I don’t exist!” he snarled, all the while I glared up at him.

“Who am I, the girl who had your dick in a vice grip with how much you’d cum in me. Is that why you’re pissy?” I asked, and before I knew it my cheek was pushed hard into the building wall, and a hand had gone right up my dress and beneath my panties.

“Don’t act so high and mighty like you didn’t enjoy my dick grinding deep into your guts.” he snarled, and I cried out feeling a finger push pass the ring of muscles of my asshole.

“GET OFF OF ME!” I shouted, but my mouth is covered too quickly, and his body pushes up on me. Akaza whips his head to Doma who just gave a thumbs up. Nobody heard me. Fuck!

I then feel the slight sting of a cut as I realize a blade was to my neck and I stilled, glaring as I refused to give this man my fear.

“I wanted our first time in your ass to be beautiful. You have no idea how many times I’ve cum to the thought of your tight ass around me.” he purred in my ear. With his finger gone, I feel a breeze against my bottom as I realize he’s pulled my panties down and further parted my legs with his own. I feel something firm prodding and poking at my ass now.

“Beg for it.” he pants in my ear, breath hot and causing shivers to shoot up my spine and I shook my head, my skin cut from the wall, and I taste blood in my mouth from my teeth cutting the inside of my cheek.

“You don’t deserve my begging.” I mumbled and he moaned.

“Guess we’re going to have to do this dry- mmph!”

He doesn’t finish his sentence, and I just close my eyes for a second hearing an obvious scuffle. I hear grunts and fighting.

“Get his fucking legs!” I hear… Kyojuro threaten. But I just remain still, eyes closed, body shaking. I peak my eyes open briefly to see Sanemi and Tengen throwing hands with Doma and Kokushibo. I feel knuckles against my ankles, someone’s taking hold of my panties, and I whimper out now thinking someone else was going to have their way with me. And I’m too deathly afraid to move now. But the panties are slid up my legs and being gently secured over my bottom. I feel a warmer body against my body, hands sliding up my hips and over the small of my back until they’re finally on my shoulders giving them a gentle squeeze.

“You’re safe now, Yara.” he says lowly in my ear.

I thought I could believe him when he said that. I mean he just saved my life, right? Boy, could I have been more wrong.

After that fight, Kyojuro made sure I got back to my apartment safe. Shinobu and Mitsuri were all over me asking if I was okay and how my bottom felt. That was Mitsuri.

Kyojuro checked in on me and although I was grateful for his help, I wanted to force myself to forget and move on. That didn’t stop him from checking in on me and even texting me. Mitsuri gave him my number which I was heavily pissed about. I would thank him for his help, but I wanted to push both groups from my mind and distance myself because it was evident I was too close, if either by fucking one gang member or rooming with the enemy gang members. I didn’t want to be associated with either group if I could help it.

So why were both groups acting like creepy ass clingy significant others!

As I finished my work out, I moved upstairs to the locker rooms which had large showers. I removed my sweaty clothes and pinned my curls up sighing happily as the water poured down on me. It was nice and serene, and I let my hands run over my breasts quietly washing them. However, the sound of curtains ripping open made me yelp as I saw the smiling face of Doma and the disinterested glare of Kokushibo.

“Ah there you are! The woman we’ve been looking for!” Doma said happily and immediately my eyes went straight down to their bare bodies, cocks half erect and looking at me.

“Hey, why are you in here and naked- HEEEY!” I screeched as both men stepped inside, Kokushibo pulling the curtains close behind them.

[bts-spnlvr12]

All of the Stars

Pairing: Sean McLoughlin x F!Reader

Summary: When you were in college as a transfer student, you met a young guy named Sean McLoughlin, who was 18 at the time, you both met while in the same home room, you both fell in-love but at the wrong time, as you had to head back to America to finish your final school year, will you cross paths again? Will the stars align to meet him again?

Prompt: “All of The Stars’ Cover by Kurt Hugo Schneider & Alex Blue

Warnings: A bit of a slow burn, romance and fluffy shit, angst, language, mentions of mental health (I think that’s it..)

Also I apologize in advance, I don’t really know how further education schools work in Ireland, so I’ll just be making stuff up! Jack has an amazing girlfriend, but for the sake of the story he is single! Anyways~ Enjoy!~

(Y/T/N) is your town name!

~Flashback...~

It was your first day being a transfer student in Ireland, you were doing a major project where different students go to different countries to study the ways European schools are like, and get a day-to-day life of a student...

You held your backpack against your shoulders and head to your first class, which was an art class where you started the first project of the school year, but you were a transfer student until Christmas, so you worked hard while you could...

After a few more classes, it was time to head to home room, once you got into the room, you were told by the teacher to come up front, “Listen up, I have an announcement! We have a new student who came all the way from America, she’s doing a project on...” He pauses to let you finish...

“Hi, I’m Y/n, the project I’m working on is a study where other students and I have traveled to different parts of Europe, to get an idea how the schools work and how a students day-to-day life is laid out...” You look back at the teacher, “Excellent Y/n, so everyone be polite to Ms. (Y/n), feel free to take a seat right next to Mr. McLoughlin, raise your hand sir...”

Sean does so, you thank the teacher then go sit down next to Sean, as you walk towards the desk, you noticed how he was absolutely adorable, you sat your stuff down and sat in the chair, then started some school work when you suddenly felt like someone was watching you...

You looked up to see a pair of bright blue eyes, looking right at you, causing you to giggle softly, “Hi Sean..”

“Hiya, how are ya?” Sean asks, you could tell he’s very high energy, and very playful, “Good, how about you?” You question him, “Great now that you’re here.” You laugh softly, “I can tell you’re a flirt, Sean...”

“Eh maybe a little bit, but I can’t help it when you’re here.” You lightly shove him, and you both talk and joke around until the bell rings, then went your separate ways onto your next classes...

Once the school day ends, you head out to the front of the school, when you heard a familiar Irish man yell your name, you turn around to see it was Sean running to catch up with you, “How was your first day?” He questioned...

“It was great, I got to meet some new people, how was your day?” You walked with him down the sidewalk, “Eh, kinda boring, but good, where ya headed?”

“Back to my house, I’m renting a place nearby the school, why?” You quirked your eyebrow, “Just curious, plus I wanted to see if you wanna go get something to eat?” You smiled, “Yeah, I’d like that very much...”

“Alright! Let’s go, I know a good spot to eat.” He grabs your hand and pulls you along, you giggling at his eagerness, once you got to the restaurant, you ordered your food and ate while talking about one another...

Almost an hour later, Sean paid for the food, and you both left and started walking towards your place, when you get to the front door, you turn around and thank him for walking you home, you were about to head in when you feel him kiss your cheek...

This made you blush furiously, you looked at him and smiled then did the same, “See you tomorrow.” He nods then waits till you’re inside then makes his way back home...

This went on for a while, until it was time for you to head back to America in December, you went to school for one final day then had to get into a cab right after to get to the airport, when you were headed to the cab, you were stopped by Sean, he looked confused as to why you were leaving, “Hey, where are you going?” You looked at him sadly, “I have to get back to America, I only had to be here for a few months...”

“Oh, well...can I..?” You tiled your head, then suddenly he laid his soft lips on top of yours, which shocked you for a split second, but kissed him back, cupping him softly on the face, he did the same but eventually had to stopped, knowing you had to leave, “I...I love you Y/n, will we see each other again?” You shrugged as you got in the cab, “Maybe, time will tell...” He nods, then caresses your cheek softly then lets you go, then watches as the cab drives off...

“One day we’ll see one another again...” He says to himself then walked home, feeling bummed out...

~Flashback end...~

Back to the present day, you were sitting in your house, watching the snow fall and drinking hot cocoa, thinking about the past, you remember it to every detail, and you still ask yourself if you’ll ever see him again...

You got a call from a friend of yours, who you’ve know for several years, “Yo bestie! Guess what’s coming up in a week?” You think but couldn’t give an answer, “What’s happening?”

“Dude, jacksepticeye, Sean Mcloughlin is coming to (Y/T/N)! I got us tickets so we can see the tour, plus I know you wanna see him again..” You widen your eyes, “Pfft, no I don’t, he probably doesn’t even remember me...” You knew he did, you just didn’t wanna admit it to your friend...

“Please Y/n, just admit you miss him and that you love him!” You shake your head even though your friend can’t see it, “Mmm, negative, anyways, I’ll be glad to go, talk to you later!” Your friend says her goodbye then hangs up, which after processing for a minute, you start freaking the fuck out!!

You started watching Sean’s channel when he first started it, and supported him from the very beginning, now that you see where he’s at now with almost 29 million subscribers, made you think about the past...

You then went into your bedroom, but you suddenly got to thinking if he would even remember the way you look, you both changed a lot over the years, but not in just looks, you’ve been through a bunch of struggles, finding out you have anxiety and depression as you got older, been through many relationships that never worked out, mainly because they were douches...

You got over them, and worked on your mental health and are better, but still have your struggles every so often, you sit down on your bed then think, ‘Maybe he does remember how you look, even though it’s been forever since the day you both met, you were in a trance when you forgot you turned on some music then heard a cover of one of your favorite songs...

Maybe this was a sign you were meant to see him, you laid down in bed and scrolled through social media until you passed out from exhaustion, which coincidentally, Sean appeared in your dreams...

~Fast forward to the week of the tour...~

You were standing in line with (Y/F/N), getting nervous by the minute, you wanted to pace but with everyone close to each other, you aren’t able to but you suddenly start to hyperventilate a little bit, causing you look look around nervously and whisper to your self over and over, “Shit, shit shit! I can’t do this, this is insane!” You friend grabs your shoulder and shakes you, “Snap out of it Y/n!”

You nod and rub your eyes, “I just...what if he doesn’t remember me, what if he doesn’t remember what I look like? I’m questioning so many things its insane...”

“We’re gonna be sitting front row, in front of the stage, there’s no way he can’t find you, now look, we’re about to head into the building, lets get some merch and go sit in our seats, you’ll be fine, just breathe..” Your friend explains, you both get to the merch table, buy your things and head to your seats then get comfortable...

About 45 minutes later when everyone is seated, then the lights go down and the intro of the tour begins, fans start screaming and the laughing ensues, when Sean comes out on stage and says hello to a few fans at the front, you saw a sparkle in his eyes, you knew he absolutely loved his fans, and what he does and how he was able to be in this position...

When he came closer to your side of the row, he looked right at you and paused for a split second, but moved on cause he had a show to put on for his fans, which was filled with laughter, tears and much more, you we’re having such a good time you barely noticed the show was ending, he was speaking on how he got here, starting by thanking his fans, where he started, where he’s at, how it doesn’t take much to get to where you want to be no matter where you are in life, and so on, when finally he said his farewell and bowed to the audience, everyone stood up and applauded as he blew kisses and left the stage...

Everyone left, you left the building stunned and in tears, you wiped them as you cover your face and knelt down in front of the building, “Holy shit, he looked straight at me, he recognized me right fucking away...” You friend knelt in front of you and rubbed your back, “See, I told you he would!” You jokingly shove their shoulder, then chuckle once you get yourself together and stood up...

“He saw me, but how could I catch him again, he could possibly be leaving to his next tour location...” Your friend shook her head, “They’re probably packing up equipment...stay here Y/n...” Your friend pauses then walks away for a few minutes, little did you know she was about to make the day so much better than it already it was...

Your friend returns with the tour manager, “You must be Y/n? I’m JP, the tour manager for Sean, you know him?” You nod and shook hands, “Yes, I went to school with him for a while, several years ago...” “So you’re the infamous Y/n, follow me.” You looked to (Y/F/N) and followed JP to behind the building, where you round the corner and see Sean standing by the bus and joking around with some of the other folk on tour with him, he just so happens to turn his head for a split second and paused...

You walked towards him slowly, and he jogged over and gave you the biggest hug you’ve ever felt, and hugged him back tightly, tears streaming down your face, PJ silently told everyone to get on the bus, to let you and Sean have a private moment, “Dammit Sean, I missed you so much..” You looked into his eyes...

He wiped your tears, then cupped your cheeks and kissed you passionately, which made you kiss him back the same way, you both pulled away, “You have no idea how long I’ve wanted to do that...” He lays his forehead against yours, “I felt the same, I didn’t know if you would remember me or not, guess I was wrong.” “I could never forget a gorgeous face like yours, your mine babe...”

“How long are you gonna be on tour?” You want to be with him, but you want to wait until he’s off tour, “For a few more months, why?”

“I want to be with you for good, but I don’t know how we can be in a relationship while you’re on the move...” You lay your head on his chest, he rubs your back, “How about you come on tour with me? Your eyes widen, “Seriously, what about your manager and other people who are traveling with you?”

“I can ask, I’m sure they wouldn’t have an issues, give me just a sec, I’ll be back out...” He goes inside and is gone for a few minutes when your friend comes back out, “He wants you to go with him? You should do it, you both want each other, I can tell..”

“I will if I can, but then again I don’t want to leave you alone.” Your friend shakes her head, “You won’t we can call one another, tell me about Sean or how the tour went, I know you want him, go Y/n, this is your chance to be with him!” You nod, “You’re probably right, (Y/F/N), I’m leaving with my man...” You both giggle and chat for a bit...

Sean suddenly comes back out and picks you up excitedly, “You’re coming with me missy!” You giggle, “I’m going with you, but I’ll need to pack some stuff up..”

“We’ll stop by your place, alright? Your friend can come too if she’d like?” He looks to (Y/F/N), “Thank you for the offer, but I got a job to be at, Y/n don’t forget to call your boss, okay?” You nod then hugged, said your goodbyes, you got on the bus with the others and sat next to Sean, then detoured to your house and packed up for the next several months in a large wheeled suitcase, then went on tour with the love of your life, like you were meant to be...

[endlessreruns]

(Jordan Calloway) [The Mediator]. Please welcome [Kevin “KC” Carpenter (he/him)] to Huntsville, WV. They are an [32]-year-old [RESIDENT] who lives in [TOWN]. You may see them around working as a [FIREFIGHTER]. They are looking for [EVAN STERLING] their [FRIEND] Poor unfortunate soul. We’ll see if they survive. 

Kevin "KC" Carpenter - 32 - heteromantic/asexual.

Born a middle child with four siblings (two older and two younger), Kevin grew up in a working class loving home in Huntsville. Neighbors to the Flowers family, both families often viewed the other as an extension of their own, often even combining holiday celebrations together. His father worked as a firefighter at the local station and his mother worked as a receptionist at the high school. Kevin was far from popular in high school, though it would also be wrong to say that he was picked on or bullied. His friends and teachers knew his name, but he was more just there when it came to the student body as a whole. He was on the academic decathlon team, and took part in the crew side of theater productions. His specialty being working in the sound booth.

After graduation he headed out to college where he received an Associate's Degree in Fire Science and later on his Bachelor's of Science in Homeland Security and Emergency Management, as well as his EMT certificate. This is also when he met his group of friends that he had throughout his years at university. If Kevin wasn't in class or studying it was more than likely you'd find him hanging out with at least one of two of them.

They all went their separate ways after graduation, Kevin going on to become a firefighter, something that had been a tradition on his father's side of the family, and that he'd looked up to his father for growing up.

A few years passed when Kevin was contacted by the friend group, a a chance to do some reconnecting and have a fun spring break trip like old times. Kevin was more than down. Little did he know that the trip would leave him stuck back in his home town with injuries from a car accident, and no way to contact his fiancée back home.

He spent time recovering at the commune from his injuries along with his friends, but eventually wound up moving into one of the apartments in town.

[cornfields-td-nonsense]

Hand it. hand the eve family over. hand it over

alright. meet the Sǒmun-Córdoba unit!

here’s Eve’s parents, Mi-Cha Sǒmun and Juán Felipe Córdoba. the high school sweethearts who almost never were. they liked each other back then, but Juán was even more of an awkward nerd than he is now, and Mi-Cha was one of the popular girls, so her friends were all “nah, he’s below you, don’t bother with him”. so they both pined from a distance until high school ended and they went their separate ways. by chance (totally not because they were keeping tabs on each other’s social media, both too nervous to reach out), they met up again at a party during college. They reconnected, fell back in love, and the rest is history. they are Actual Good Parents, which is rare for the Nautilus cast, and are generally adorable.

and lucky you, I recently made a lineup of all of Eve’s siblings, so here they are:

Eve, as I’ve mentioned before, is the second youngest out of this bunch. Diego’s an utter menace, and has hit that age where he’s convinced he’s a Big Boy Now and no he does not want hugs and kisses from Mama that’s for babies. yes he’s all grown up and wants to be treated as such. he can do everything all by himself because he’s such a big boy. shut up. (Also he’s broken the neighbour’s windows with that baseball bat multiple times. So, so many times.)

Dae-Hyun and Felipe are kind of an opposites duo, in terms of personality and what they value. Dae-Hyun dropped out of college, has no plans for further education, and has a part-time gig working at a diner, and doesn’t really care to do much more than that. He’s a party dude at heart, rocking his way through high school while barely studying and getting just about passing grades. He doesn’t party as much as he used to, but still goes to the odd rager. Never throws them, though - he’s rarely left home alone, usually needing to babysit Diego (even if Diego insists he doesn’t need it and can be trusted on his own. He can’t.) And Dae isn’t going to throw a party at his house when his baby brother’s there, he’s not THAT irresponsible.

Felipe, on the other hand, is a law student (and hates it). He mostly went to law school because he didn’t know what he wanted to do with his life and it seemed like a safe bet. Biggest mistake of his life.He’s elbows-deep in work, constantly stressed, will go multiple days without seeing sunlight, and is generally an anxious wreck. But he’s not about to drop out of law school. No, not after all these years of getting on Dae-Hyun’s ass about ‘wasting his potential’ by not being in college. That would just make Felipe look like a total hypocrite! He’d much rather keep studying something he hates, to earn a qualification he’s lost interest in, to get a career that he doesn’t want! That way his pride gets to stay fully intact.

Hana’s doing a lot better than her trainwreck of a first little brother. She’s graduated art school, works as a freelance graphic designer, and recently moved into her own apartment with a roommate, and the two of them seem very happy living out their own personal “and they were roommates!” story. But Hana still comes round to visit whenever she can - she loves her family, and hey, even fully functioning adults need help from their parents sometimes. She’s the sibling Eve has the closest relationship with, and the person she confides in with things she doesn’t want to bring up to her parents.

Wow. Yeah, as you can probably tell, me and CR have been brainrotting pretty hard about these guys. We love making overly developed background characters that will barely if ever show up in the actual season lol

[helenadurazzo]

The Jack of Clubs

Here is some information on Helena’s role as the Jack of Clubs in the Cardverse AU that was created by @ariparri In addition, Cato and Reilly both belong to @catohphm

Helena is an intellectual and sincere advisor to the King of Clubs. Raised in a high class family and receiving an advanced education has taught her about her own homeland and the surrounding kingdoms. She also works closely with the Ace of Clubs, one of her longest friends in certain decision making. Despite her quiet nature, she speaks with wisdom and respect for others, often trying to not let rumors define a person or place before she is able to gather her own information.

Helena’s father, Alessandro Durazzo, comes from a wealthy family in the Capital of the land of Clubs. Her father is a scholar and expert in economics, her aunt works in developing medicine, and her uncle trains various types of animals which serve as the steeds of the Club’s army. He worked with maintaining the economics balance of the clubs kingdom and also was interested in government although he never pursued it.

Meanwhile, Helena’s mother is from a city not too far away from the border the Land of the Clubs shares with the Spades. When Olivia’s younger sister, Cynthia, expressed an interest in joining the Clubs military, their parents did not want Cynthia to travel alone and decided that Olivia would go with her. Olivia tried to convince her parents to either just let Cynthia go alone or send her with someone else because she didn’t want to leave home (she was also in a relationship with a farmer named Garrett which her parents would quickly object to and forbid if they found out). However, despite her requests, Olivia still ended up traveling to the capital with her younger sister

After moving, Olivia quickly found success as a researcher and botanist who focused on identifying and growing different types of plants with medicinal properties. During her work, she also befriended many of her co workers, including a woman named Reilly. In addition, through various connections she gained, she eventually met and fell in love with a scholar who specialized in civics and economics named Alessandro Durazzo.

Helena and her older brother Jacob lived comfortable lives in the land of Clubs and received some of the best educations possible. Her parents had multiple connections with high class families and she developed a childhood friendship with the son of her mother���s friend and co worker, Cato Reese. The two sent to the same schools growing up and only separated when Cato enrolled in a military academy and Helena went to college to further her studies. Despite this, the two friends still kept in touch through writing and other methods of communication. The two would go on to collaborate and both of them had high government positions with Cato being the Ace and leader of the country’s military and Helena being the Jack and advisor to the King.

After many years, Helena eventually became the Jack and a trusted advisor to the King of Clubs, Orion. She tends to make decisions rationally, trying to not let anger sway her judgement. While she is quiet natured, she will fiercely defend any of her ideas that she believes will benefit the kingdom and ensure prosperity and happiness. Oftentimes, when faced with a tough event to provide advise on to the king, she ventures into the forest to see if she can get signs from nature. She also tries to keep calm and have a level head with meditation

However, the times inched closer to becoming truly dire when the neighboring Country of Spades fell to a coup and had a dictatorship set up by Patricia Rakepick. The threat of invasion became more real as if the Spades wanted to conquer the other kingdoms, the only way to do it, was to pass through their shared border with the Clubs. Helena entrusted Cato to make the right decision and supported his idea to strengthen their security on the border. Helena supporting Orion’s desire to help the people of the Country of Spades and also keep the people of Clubs safe, particularly those on the border. She helped make advisements for the best approaches to take with this growing conflict

[airirivera]

stats.

full name: airi fernando rivera age: 28 date of birth: november 8th place of birth: new york city, ny current location: havenridge, nc residential area: pinecrest gender: cis-female pronouns: she/they sexual orientation: lesbian occupation: nurse at island medical associates

bio.

trigger warning: teenage pregnancy, child neglect Airi was born to a set of teenagers that couldn’t handle the pressure of the choices they made. Instead of giving her up like they should have due to them not having any support, they kept her. Moving into a small apartment, she stayed with her parents for four years before she was found on the street with nothing but an oversized t-shirt on. Her parents were later found in a car where both were high on drugs. She was taken into foster care but was almost immediately adopted by Bastian and their husband where she finally became Airi Fernando Rivera. She was loved and doted on from the moment she was brought into their world and she wouldn’t have wanted anything different. From a very young age, she was put into dance classes where she instantly fell in love. It was such a release of endorphins whenever she was on a dance floor whether that was ballet, tap, or hip hop. She knew that this was the life she wanted to live for as long as she could.  And along with dancing came the realization that she was interested in girls. While her friends were boy crazy, she found herself looking and thinking about girls the same way. When she was in middle school, she came out to her friends and family who all supported her in ways that she didn’t know she needed. It was during one of her dance classes that she met Reagan - who she had no clue would become the love of her life. They were instantly best friends but come freshman year of high school they were girlfriends. Their bond was inseparable and it had been such a freeing relationship for both of the girls. But tragedy struck the summer before senior year when she had fallen during a dance show and the injury that followed ended her dance career. She recovered but losing her dream was something that she never got over.  Thankfully - or I thankfully - her fathers were wanting to move to a small town and out of the city and Airi took that opportunity to get away from the place that held her dreams. The only thing that she missed was Reagan but they decided love was enough and they did long distance for quite some time. They both graduated high school and Airi decided to take time off before going to college but by the time she was 20, her relationship with Reagan had fallen apart. The other woman built a wall up and Airi became tired of trying to knock it down. They went their separate ways and when Airi was 24, she went to a the University of North Carolina where she studied nursing. It was a hard road and she very much isolated herself from friends and family for those four years.  With her recent graduation, she moved back home to a small apartment with a job already lined up with Doctor Harts office. She had volunteered many times before she left for college and he had told her once she got her nursing degree a job would always be there. She hasn’t been in town long and she’s excited for what this new chapter was going to bring to her. When she’s not working with Doc, she tends to spend her time home reading or going around town with her camera capturing their small island town to share with the rest of the world. 

[senseiofbullshit]

Josuke, The Superhero

Summary: Shortly after moving in with Josuke, you wind up pregnant. Even though your baby was unplanned, you couldn't have picked a better partner to start this journey with.

Pairings: Josuke x Fem!Reader

A/N: Sorry that there's so much exposition. This was actually my first Dad!Josuke fic.

WC: 1.1k

Read it and my other Josuke pieces on AO3 here.

Warnings: Unplanned pregnancy, implied smut, sprinkle of angst if you squint

It brought you great joy to know that your first impression of Josuke at the end of high school had been completely wrong. He was mischievous, yes, but he was also very kind and sweet. He was not the complete delinquent that you'd thought him to be. He blushed when he kissed you on your third date and since then, you were completely smitten. You quickly assimilated into his group of friends. His mom loved you from the moment she met you. According to Okuyasu, Josuke was completely whipped. After graduation, you and Josuke ended up going to separate colleges. Josuke was studying to become a nurse. The distance was hard but you pushed through it. You saw each other every chance you got, even if it was only for a few hours. Josuke came to your graduation and bought the largest bouquet you'd ever seen. Josuke's graduation was the semester after and you couldn't contain your excitement. You would finally be able to be together again. As soon as Josuke's graduation ceremony was over, he grabbed you and asked if you wanted to move in together. Of course! How could you say no? You loved him so much. Of course, you jumped at the chance to take the next step in your relationship.

You'd only been living together for a few months before you felt as though the world had come crashing down around you. Josuke's eyes were wide as saucers. He was still as a statue as his face paled.

“You're sure?”

You felt fear roll in your stomach as you nodded. Tears began to well up at the corners of your eyes.

Josuke hugged you as he began to cry. You hadn't planned for this. Both of you were still so young. You had so many things to accomplish after moving in together. Getting pregnant before 25 was not one of them.

“Josuke, I'm sorry,” you muttered as Josuke's tears began to seep through your shirt.

He looked up at you with tears in his eyes and a big fat smile on his face.

“Sorry? Why are you sorry? I'm gonna be a daddy!” Was all he said before hugging you so tight you thought your lungs would burst.

It was as if a weight had lifted off of your shoulders. You were so prepared for Josuke to be upset that you were completely blindsided by the idea of him actually being happy about your pregnancy. He peppered your face in kisses.

“You're not upset?” you asked absolutely dumbfounded.

“Not at all! Why would I be upset?”

“Josuke, aren't you worried? We're both so young. We're not ready for a kid.”

He hummed as he brought your head to his chest.

“I know. I know. Of course I'm worried but babe, I have to say that there's no one I'd rather be doing this with. You're my everything. Yeah, it's going to be tough, but we'll be together every step of the way. I'll pick up more shifts at the hospital. I'll take care of you.”

“Aren't there things that you wanted to do before having a baby?”

“Well yeah, but now we can do them as a family. Life doesn't stop when you have kids. My mom taught me that,” he says as he places a kiss on the top of your head.

“Are you sure?” You really want to ask him if he's sure that this is what he truly wants.

“I'm positive, babe."

It was as if all your fears had immediately been put to bed.

“I love you, Josuke. So much.”

“I love you too. So much.”

Josuke’s brain changed gears so fast, it was almost scary. He went from thinking about what you guys should eat for dinner to thinking about baby names.

Telling Tomoko was the hard part. She'd given Josuke one rule when he moved out. Don't knock you up. And what had he done? He knocked you up. Telling Tomoko that she was going to be a grandmother in her mid-forties frightened you. Josuke certainly had to get that temper from somewhere. At first, she'd been absolutely furious that Josuke had knocked you up so young. You remember how she wacked Josuke over the head with a balled up newspaper, yelling about how he should've been more careful. But then her eyes softened and she cried in your arms. She was so happy. She admitted to being lonely in such a large house since Josuke moved out. The gears were already turning in her head thinking about how to turn Josuke's old room into a nursery of her own. Her grandkid would have a room of their own when they came to Nana’s house. She made it very clear that the kid would not be calling her “grandma”.

Josuke adjusted much better than you thought he would in the following months. There were times where he was overbearing when it came to monitoring your physical activity and your eating. You had to tell yourself that it was only because he worried about your health as well as your baby’s. He accompanied you to every single doctor's appointment with a list of questions. Josuke being a nurse didn't quell any of his fears. It only made him more anxious because he knew of all the things that could go wrong.

The doctor could tell by your nerves that you were both first time parents. It was common to see new parents as nervous as you were; however, the doctor loved how attentive Josuke was. You had to give Josuke that. He was very attentive. The only time Josuke ever left your side was when he was working or getting something to calm your cravings. Though Josuke had been lazy in his teenage years, he'd grown out of it as an adult. Josuke always grumbled under his breath, but he'd get you whatever you needed or craved, even at three in the morning.

The doctor hadn't even finished his question as to whether you'd like to know the baby's sex before Josuke jumped up with an excited ‘yes’. Josuke always said he'd be perfectly happy with either a boy or a girl, but you could tell Josuke wanted a boy as most fathers do. He had many more boy names on his list than girls. Both you and Tomoko were dying to see Josuke with a daughter. She would have Josuke completely wrapped around her little finger. You daydreamed about a daughter that would have Josuke drink out of pink, plastic tea cups or painting his nails. Josuke denied being susceptible to the charms of your future daughter, but he could never resist a good set of puppy dog eyes. Not even from you. A small part of you couldn't deny the appeal of seeing Josuke with a miniature version of himself if you had a boy. Once the doctor told you the sex of your baby, Josuke cried all the same. You were having a boy. You remember how you could taste the salt from Josuke's tears when he kissed you.

Josuke kept every ultrasound. He kept them stuck to the fridge for the entire duration of your pregnancy. Josuke begged to be put in the NICU or in the pediatric ward at the hospital. Josuke grew up an only child and didn't really have much experience with children aside from the short time that he spent with Shizuka. There were things that books couldn't teach and he wanted to learn before your guest of honor made his appearance into the world.

Josuke had always been very handsy with you, but it seemed to only increase once you got pregnant. He couldn't keep his hands off of you. He was always holding you or had his hands on you regardless of whether or not you were naked. Any changes to your sex life were taken in stride by Josuke. He knew that pregnancy was not easy on your body. It's why he would always bend over backwards for you. He often fell asleep with either his head or his hand on your stomach. The first time your son kicked, he kicked Josuke right in the jaw as he laid his head on your stomach. From that day on, Josuke didn't want to miss a thing. If you both were home, he was touching you in some way.

A little further into your pregnancy, you and Josuke moved out of your crappy apartment and into a home. Josuke was practically jumping for joy when he saw the blank canvas that would soon be your nursery. You told Josuke about your vision for the nursery and he immediately put things into motion. He bought everything that you asked. His issue was assembling everything. How many men does it take to build a crib? Seeing Joksuke, Okuyasu, and Koichi all struggle to put the thing together made you giggle. You're not sure what devil Josuke had to sell his soul to, but somehow he got Rohan to paint your nursery. It was beautiful. You told Josuke you wanted the room to be black and white with pops of color as it was better for the baby's brain and Rohan had completely delivered.

A few weeks later, you were stepping on the scale in your shared bathroom to track your weight as the doctor had ordered. You turned around to see Josuke on one knee with a small, black box in his hand. He was sweating nervously and there was a light blush dusting his cheeks.

“Josuke, wha—”

“I know. I've been carrying this ring around for weeks trying to find the right time. Then I realized that the right time won't come. I have to create the right time. Listen, I just, I love you so much. I want you to know that. Even before you got pregnant, I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you. There's never been any doubt in my mind that you're the person for me. You're the best partner a person could ever have. And, and, and you're having my baby. You're having my baby.” He gives a small chuckle at the end as if he's amazed that this is happening. “You're having my baby and I love you so much. I want you to marry me. Will you marry me? You deserve a nice proposal. You do, but watching you these past couple days...I couldn't wait.”

You had started crying before he even finished. Josuke was shirtless and wearing tattered sweat pants and on one knee in your bathroom. You were half naked standing on a scale. It is hardly the perfect setting. But it was. You dropped down to your knees and met Josuke at eye level. You put your hands on Josuke's cheeks and he broke. He cried and you gave him a smile that was filled with happy tears.

“Yes! Josuke! Yes! Of course, I'll marry you!”

Josuke leaned forward and kissed your breath away. He laughed as he peppered your face with kisses. You were sure your heart would jump out of your chest. Josuke had asked you to marry him! He wanted to be with you for the rest of his life! For better or worse!

“I love you so much!” You told him as he wiped the tears from your eyes.

You giggled as Josuke opened the box to grab the ring.

“It’s beautiful. But Josuke—” you began to say as he brought the ring toward your finger. “Josuke, it won't fit. My fingers are too swollen.”

Josuke sighed.

“No, it's okay,” You laughed at the defeated look on Josuke's face. “You can just propose to me again when it fits.”

Josuke gave you a quick peck on the cheek.

“I can't wait to marry you."

You both had decided that you would have a wedding further down the line. You didn't want to be uncomfortable at your own wedding or on your honeymoon due to your pregnancy. So you decided that you could wait. You'd wait until the end of time if you had to. It didn't matter. You would marry him in a sewer. As long as you got to marry Josuke Higashikata. A few weeks later, you both stood in front of an officiant at the courthouse up the street from your home. It was a small and intimate ceremony, only your immediate family present. You're sure the flash from Tomoko's studio quality camera left you partially blind with the hundreds of photos she took. When you exchanged vows, there wasn't a dry eye in the house. Josuke had prepared vows for you and bump. He'd promised you not to be perfect but the best he can be. He'd make mistakes and it wouldn't always be easy, but he couldn't imagine doing this with anyone else. To your bump, he promised to be the best father he could be. He's never been a father before, so it would be something new for both him and your baby. He promised to take the time to get to know your baby and learn the way they want to be loved because he had so much love to give his only son. He sealed the deal with a kiss to your lips then a kiss to your bump. After that, you were officially married. A huge wedding would come later.

Everything else seemed to fly by. Before you knew it, your baby was crying in your arms for the first time. You and Josuke couldn't stop crying. Months of waiting culminated for this very moment. Your heart grew twice as large. Your son was here and he looked exactly like the man you wished to spend the rest of your life with, right down to his cute eyes and ears. You felt happy, complete. Josuke had told you the same between sobs.

The doctor was in awe of the way you healed so quickly. It was almost as if your body had not accommodated a baby or that you had even given birth. The doctor and attending nurse were dumbfounded at how quickly you had healed by the time you returned for your follow up visit. They didn't need to know how Crazy Diamond had healed you as soon as you got home from the hospital. Josuke couldn't bear to see you in pain. One thing Crazy Diamond couldn't fix was how tired both you and Josuke were. Figuring out parenthood was hard. All the baby books in the world couldn't prepare you for when your baby actually arrived. Changing the diapers on those lifeless dolls in your class was nothing like changing the diaper of a squishy, wiggly baby. In Josuke's sleepy state, he'd accidentally fastened a diaper or two backwards.

Josuke was a good dad. No, Josuke was an amazing dad. The speed that he adjusted to being a parent of a newborn was blinding. You'd expected you both to fumble a lot as new parents. It was still hard, but having Josuke as your partner made things much much easier. He was able to implement a lot of his nursing skills and tricks he picked up in the NICU. Sometimes you felt like he had a better grip on parenthood than you did. No matter how exhausted he was, he got up for midnight feedings and diaper changes. You wish you could say it was without complaint, but Josuke griped all the way down to the nursery, every single night. If you fell asleep while putting the baby to bed, Josuke had no problem cleaning any mess that you and the baby had left behind. When you asked him about it, he said that it's the least he could do since he couldn't be home with you and the baby all day.

Crazy Diamond was a big help around the house. It didn't surprise you anymore if you came home to see your baby rocking back and forth in mid-air while Josuke was busy doing something else. Crazy Diamond was also very helpful with the bumps, the bruises, and the teething. He was honestly a lifesaver. He didn't complain nearly as much as Josuke when changing stinky diapers.

It was hard to believe that just a few short years ago, Josuke was considered a delinquent. That version of Josuke would surely tease him for strapping his baby to his chest as he went grocery shopping or yelling at the neighbors to turn down their music at 9pm.

Josuke cried for all the milestones. Baby’s first time sitting up. Baby's first solid meal. Baby’s first crawl. Baby's first ‘dada’. Baby's first time standing. Baby’s first steps. And baby's first birthday. He was there for it all and he cried for it all. He was such an emotional father and you loved him so much for it. There was never an issue with Josuke showing you how he truly felt. He took what felt like millions of photos and would show them to just about anyone who would entertain him for longer than five minutes. “Look at my family!” he’d say as he shoves photos into someone's face.

The most emotional day for Josuke was your son's first day of preschool. Josuke took the day off to be there. “Wouldn't miss it for the world,” he said. You'd gotten emotional putting on your son's school uniform that morning. Josuke reassured you that everything would be fine. It was time for your little rascal to go to school and socialize with other kids. You thought you'd have a hard time letting your son go when you made it to the campus, but it was Josuke who was on his knees holding onto your son with tears in his eyes.

“Josuke, you have to let him go. Classes are starting,” you said as all the other parents stared while walking past the three of you.

Josuke pressed a flurry of wet kisses to your son's cheek and hugged him tight.

“I'll be okay, Daddy. I promise.”

“Okay, kiddo.” Josuke placed a gentle kiss on your son's temple as he rubbed his head. “You're gonna do great. I love you.”

“I love you too, Daddy,” your son said as he hugged Josuke.

Little hands smushed Josuke's cheeks to look him in the eye. Josuke sniffled as he looked at your son. If you weren't holding back your own tears, you might've laughed at how your son was the one comforting Josuke and not the other way around.

“Be good Daddy, okay?” he said as he placed a kiss on Josuke's forehead.

“I will.”

Josuke let your son go with one more kiss to his forehead. There was a watery smile on Josuke's face the entire car ride home.

There are times where you would catch Josuke staring at you two. He says that he's taking a mental picture. He has a hard time explaining to you that he's staring at you because he's so, so happy. He loves you both so much. He is so grateful. At sixteen, he'd crossed paths with a serial killer and been badly injured. He had a close brush with death, but he made it. He survived. He went on to live a full and happy life. He managed to get married to the love of his life and have a rambunctious little kid with you. He was grateful. He had a family. It was small, but it was his. Growing up, he always had his mother and grandfather, but this was different. This was a family that he'd crafted with his own two hands. He was the foundation of it. There was no greater pride in his life.

The first thing that Josuke always did as soon as he got home from work was shower. He wouldn't even kiss you or your son until he's showered the work day away. You know he does it for your safety. He'd gotten both of you sick once with a cold he'd passed on from a patient. He never forgave himself. Most days Josuke snuck into the house through the garage. Your only signal that he was home was the sound of the shower running.

You were putting the finishing touches on dinner when you heard heavy footsteps padding towards the kitchen. You can't help the smile creeping across your lips. Warm arms snake around your waist from behind.

“DADDY!” you hear your son yell as he runs over to hug Josuke's leg.

“Hey, kiddo,” Josuke says as he leans down to pick up your son.

You turn to face Josuke, his freshly washed hair tickling the tip of your nose. He's grinning ear to ear when he leans down to kiss you.

“Yucky!” Your son says as he pretends to cover his eyes.

It only makes you want to kiss Josuke again.

“Welcome home,” you say sweetly as you place a chaste kiss to his lips.

Josuke presses a big, wet kiss to your son's cheek before putting him down. Your son runs back over to his table where he's working on a drawing that will surely go on the fridge or on Josuke's work desk later.

“How are my favorite two people doing? How was school, buddy?” he asks as he walks over to the craft table.

“It was good!” your son tells him as he scribbles away at the paper.

“You finished all your homework?”

“Yup! Momma helped me with it!”

“Today, his teacher had the whole class draw a picture of their favorite hero,” you tell Josuke over your shoulder as you finish plating the meal.

“Yeah and who'd you draw, kiddo? Let me guess. Superman or, oh! Spider-Man. I know you like his costume!”

“Nope!”

“Then who? Spider-Man is your favorite!”

“I drew you.”

You can physically see the moment that Josuke's brain sputters and stops working.

“What?” is all that comes out of Josuke's mouth.

“I drew a picture of you, silly goose. Momma told me that you help people everyday. I want to be like that when I grow up. I could be a nurse just like you,” your son says without even looking up from the drawing that he's working on.

Josuke looks up at you in absolute disbelief.

“Yup. Here's the drawing,” you tell him as you take the drawing off the counter and hand it to Josuke.

Josuke looks at the picture as if it held all the secrets to the universe.

“This is me,” Josuke says in utter shock.

“Yup! Do you like it, Daddy?”

His son thought he was a hero. His son. His son wanted to grow up to be just like him. Josuke didn't always like his job, but he liked helping people and that was always good enough for him. Or at least he thought it was. This is better. He's an example. He's someone that his son wants to be when he gets older. Parents always want their children to be good in life. Knowing that his son not only thought he was good, but good enough to emulate later in life? It made his heart feel like it was going to liquify and pour out of his chest.

It was difficult for you to make out exactly what the picture was when your son handed it to you. Then he told you it was “daddy in his work uniform” and you'd melted just the same as Josuke was now. You couldn't wait until Josuke got home. You almost spilled the beans when Josuke called you on his lunch break. You're so happy you waited for this moment. You could see the waterworks getting started. Josuke brought your son into a tight hug and burst into tears.

“I love it,” Josuke says so low, it's hardly a whisper.

“Why are you crying, Daddy?”

Josuke begins to pepper your son's face in big, wet kisses that make your son laugh.

“I love you so much, kiddo!” Josuke says with so much pride in his voice.

“I love you too, Daddy.”

“This is so great. I can't wait to show everyone at work! And Nana! I just—I love you. So much.”

You desperately want to take a picture of this moment, but you don't want to trample on the genuity of the scene unfolding in front of you.

Josuke is on cloud nine for the rest of the night. He and your son giggle right through dinner, bathtime, and a bedtime story. When you're done cleaning the kitchen and putting away the food, you find Josuke tucking in your sleeping son. Josuke joins you in the doorway, watching your little one sleep.

“Hey. Come to bed,” you tell him as you tug his arm.

Josuke slides his arms around your waist as he brings you to his chest. He hums with a smile as he looks down at you.

“He's such a good kid,” he says and his voice is filled with nothing but love and warmth.

Josuke is still in a dreamy daze that only his family can give him. It's almost like he's daydreaming while he's looking at you. He's so proud and so happy. Nothing is more important to him than this.

“You're just saying that because you're his favorite!” You giggle quietly.

“I am not! He's a good kid, really. Besides, I'm just the hero for today. You're definitely his favorite.” He presses his forehead to yours. “We did good.”

“Yeah. We did,” you sigh as you close your eyes.

“Let's make another one.”

Your eyes snap open at that. His eyes have lost their softness in favor of something much more mischievous. A devilish smile begins to work its way across his lips as he leans down to kiss the junction of your jaw and neck. You push him away playfully.

“Josuke!”

“I've got four days off. In a row.”

He holds you tight as he smiles like a tiger. You look up at him and you can see the exhaustion in his eyes.

“I have a sexy suggestion,” your words causing him to raise a brow.

He's all ears.

“How about tonight...we get—” your fingers rub a warm path against his chest. “—a full night of sleep?”

“Ooh. A full night? So sexy.”

“And in the morning? We can sleep in.”

“Mmm. So dirty. Tell me more.”

You both giggle. Josuke gently kisses your forehead.

“Come on. Let's get to bed,” you say as you take him by the hand and lead him down the hall to your bedroom.

You settle into bed and lay your head on Josuke's chest. You can tell he's having trouble keeping his eyes open as soon as his head hits the pillow. His arms are warm as they hold you close. You almost think he's fallen asleep before he pipes up to say something.

“I meant what I said. We should have another kid.”

You look up at him and his eyes are closed. He's seconds from drifting off to sleep.

“We can talk about it in the morning. Get some sleep.”

Josuke grunts in approval.

“I love you, babe.”

“I love you too.” You're not even sure if he hears you before he drifts off to sleep. “So much.”

[linkemon]

Kaoru Sakurayashiki (selfship)

Comission for coretta with a special wish for enemies to lovers.

Friendly reminder that English is not my first languge. You can check my Masterlists both in English and Polish here.  Consider supporting me on Ko-fi. You can also check out my commissions if you're interested.

❇ It all started the day you met Kaoru by accident, while riding your bike. You raced with him, even though he was skating. Each of you wanted to prove that you are better at all costs. The boy did not expect to see you again. He met you again when he and Joe came to compete with Adam. You happened to be in the opposite group.

❇ Then Kaoru, Joe and you ended up by the same table in the high school canteen and somehow it turned out that the three of you started wandering around together.

❇ You've been skating a lot and more. Night meetings were the order of the day. You've been bidding on who will do bolder tricks. Usually Adam won but you just had fun.

❇ Your relationship has been largely based on constantly challenging each other. There were also friendly taunts all the time.

❇ The older Sakurayashiki was, the more he said you were irritating. You answered him the same but you knew he didn't mean it. It was just you two bickering.

It was only when it was time for you to go to college that he realized that you were really not disturbing him. In fact, he wanted you to stay with him.

❇ He didn't know what to do with himself when you were gone. Joe was making fun of him at first but he found out pretty quickly that his friend missed you a lot more than he.

❇ You talked with Cherry on the phone a lot but each of you tried not to show how much you wanted to see each other again. As Kaoru trained in AI technology, he upgraded your smartphone model so you could call more often, faster and better.

❇ You came to your hometown for holidays and Christmas. Always during such visits, he realized how much you are changing. On the other hand, you were still the same person. Just a bit more subdued compared to what you were in your youth.

It often happened that Joe was cooking dinner for you and then the three of you went out to ride together. Especially in S.

❇ When your studies ended, you returned to your hometown. Cherry was now a grown man and started to see many things differently. He had a stable job, a hobby and was quite recognizable. He lacked the other half to be fully happy. In fact, whenever he thought about it, he had you on his mind. So, when you arrived with all your suitcases and put your feet on the doorstep, he saw his chance. He wasn't going to waste it.

❇ Your first kiss was when you were helping him choose the frames for his glasses. A new pair fell off his nose so you wanted to fix it. Halfway through this, you both froze for a moment and pressed your lips together. You have moved away from each other. It was awkward for the rest of the shopping but on the way back, he gently grabbed your hand. You cleared it all up in the evening.

❇ Kaoru is an absolutely old-fashioned romantic. His advice is mainly from Carla. He makes it find good dating sites or asks for advice when it comes to you. AI searches the Internet so the answers are usually textbook and classic.

❇ Your dates are often held at exhibitions. He is happy to invite you to his calligraphy show but prefers to separate work from time with you, nevertheless. That is why museums and galleries are perfect.

Kaoru is also happy to accompany you to a traditional Japanese festival. Mandatory yucatas. He will help you choose the perfect one and will be very proud if you follow his advice on this matter.

❇ Lets you brush his hair. Of course, when others aren't looking. In the comfort of your home, he doesn’t mind. He says it relaxes him.

❇ You buy him professional calligraphy kits or skateboard parts as a gift. You have to look for a long time because these are not cheap or readily available things.

❇ If you can replace Carla in singing lullabies, at least partially, he will be grateful. He has trouble falling asleep. He happened to go out with you at night for walks to calm down enough.

❇ You are sometimes jealous of his crowds of female fans. Especially during S. You don't show off your relationship there because you want to keep your identities a secret.

❇ You were very worried about his condition after he was skating with Adam. You spent a lot of time caring for him while he was in a hopeless condition. It made him even more confident that he could rely on you. Even if you scold him terribly for being careless. After all, he's not a teenager anymore.

❇ You have been together for a long time. You slowly begin to plan your future together. He doesn't say it out loud but his secret dream is a proposal of your initiative.

[miekasa]

daylight’s wasting (you better kiss me)

↯ pairing: eren jaeger x reader

↯ genre and warnings: college au, fluff, someone please be gentle with this boy i’m begging you, jean and eren pretending they don’t give a fuck about each other whilst actually being best bros for the win

↯ word count: 2k

↯ summary: based off of that reddit post about some guy talking about his girlfriend washing his hair for the first time + hoping it fills a request for someone asking for reader playing with eren’s hair for the first time :’)

↯ notes: this is cross-posted and edited slightly from another blog in a completely separate fandom, so if you’ve seen it before, no you didn’t </2

Jean can’t say that he immediately noticed a pep in Eren’s step when the green-eyed boy met him in the library, but what he does notice is the stupid, dopey looking grin and starry-eyed gaze in his eyes that he’s sporting while he’s not doing his part for their project. And while Jean considers himself relatively attractive, he knows for sure Eren isn’t shy about making it known that he doesn’t; so the brunette doubts the literal heart eyes Eren has are for him.

“Eren? Eren, bro, are you good?” Jean calls, a dark eyebrow raised above his left eye. Eren barely registers the calls of his name, and it takes Jean waving his hands in front of the shorter’s face for him to wake from his trance, looking up at Jean with that same, longing smile (that’s, admittedly, starting to creep him the fuck out).

“Yeah,” Eren sighs, something reminiscent of a lovelorn cartoon prince, as he rests his elbow atop his notebook and his chin the palm of his hand, “I’m good.”

Jean looks at him, skeptical and confused. He shifts in his seat, but Eren’s eyes don’t follow—he just stares ahead, lost in thought and completely unaware of everything around him. He looks like a lovesick little bitch if you ask Jean. Or completely sloshed.

Slowly, Jean leads forward, eyebrows pinched, looking for streaks of red in Eren’s eyes, “Are you stoned right now?”

“What?” Eren pulls back, almost offended, “No, I’m not high—Jean, what the fuck?”

Jean simply shrugs, leaning back into his seat, “I dunno. Yesterday you were so stressed about your acrobatic salt cycle samples—”

“—Acetylsalicylic acid. It’s basically Asprin, and I wasn’t stressed, they just weren’t crystallizing the they way they’re supposed to—”

“I don’t fucking care. But now you look mellow as hell,” Jean cuts him off, “Just thought maybe you rolled a good one before coming here or something. Not that I’m judging, of course. But you’re much more of a lightweight than you think, so try not to go—”

“‘M not a fucking lightweight,” Eren groans, “You and Reiner are just heavy bodied.”

“Just admit you can’t hold your shit, Jaeger.”

“I’m not admitting shit. Mikasa makes strong drinks, that’s all.”

Jean grits his teeth at Eren’s stubborn antics, but lets it go. It’s not like the conversation was going anywhere, anyways. “If you’re not baked, then what’s got your head in the clouds?”

Eren shifts in his seat now, pulling his hand off the table, and into his lap. Jean’s suspicious eyebrow is quirked again, and that slightly creeped-out feeling is back when he spots Eren’s ears going red.

Jesus Christ, he just asked a simple question.

“Not that I care,” Jean tacks on, feigning disinterest, “But if it’s gonna keep you from doing your half of the project, just spill it already so we can get this shit over with.”

Eren rolls his eyes, but that blush is still there. He looks like he contemplates waving it off for a minute, before he sighs. “(Y/N) and I showered together yesterday,” he finally blurts.

Jean blinks. “Oh. So you got laid—”

“—No, no, it wasn’t like that!” Eren corrects him, the red on his ears spreading to his cheeks slowly, with every word that spills out of his mouth. Eren stutters, a hand coming up to rub at the back of his neck, “She just… She washed my hair.”

Eren sighs, flustered and frustrated, and annoyed that he looks like this in front of Jean’s horse-faced ass of all people; but he knows, that no matter how much shit Jean talks, he can rely on him. For better or (often times) for worse.

And Jean, for as hotheaded as he can get, and for as much as Eren annoys the shit of out him, knows how to read a room; and in this moment, he can see that Eren is actually coming to him with genuine emotions, other than masked anger and abrasiveness. So, the both of them concede; pull back from their usual pointed commentary, and listen to what the other has to say. 

“Ah,” Jean comments, lamely; an embarrassed blush of his own growing on his face at his stupidity. The two sit in silence for a moment, before Jean speaks up again, “It’s, uh… It’s nice, right?”

Eren’s eyes snap to him, wide. He almost completely forgot that Jean’s in a committed relationship, too. The two don’t often go to each other for relationship advice, or… relationship venting, but Eren makes a mental note that maybe, just maybe, he should.  

“Yeah,” Eren admits, “I don’t, uh, I don’t know how to explain it. It was just—”

“Relaxing?”

“Yeah. Like all the bullshit from school just melted away all of a sudden,” Eren confesses, “All she fucking did was wash my hair and hum for, like, five minutes, but I feel like… I don’t know. Good.”

Jean hums, acknowledging Eren’s words and mulling them over. “Loved,” he chimes in with an awkward cough, “Pretty sure that’s the word you’re looking for, Jaeger.”

Eren chokes on air, his eyes darting around the room. So, yeah, it’s still a little awkward, talking with Jean of all people about his relationship, and love, and all that gushy stuff; but, even Eren can admit, it’s comforting to know that someone knows what he’s feeling—even if that someone is Jean.

“You should tell her. Girls like that shit, when you tell em what you’re thinking, you know?” Jean comments, picking up his pen to resume scribbling in his notebook. He sounds nonchalant, but from the redness on his face, Eren can tell he’s just as flustered, and probably thinking about his own girlfriend. “Besides, you’ve been together for a long ass time now. Don’t know what you’re waiting for at this point.”

“Yeah,” Eren coughs, pretending to resume his own homework, “Yeah, I think I will.”

“Good,” Jean nods, “Now will you fucking paste your paragraph in the Google Doc so I can rewrite it and make it coherent.”

“Fuck you, it’s coherent as is.”

“As if. I’ve read your shit before, and it sounds like it was written by six year old on meth. You science majors can’t write to save your life.”

“Tough talk from someone who can’t do basic addition.”

“Derivatives and shit aren’t basic addition, they were created by a man who died a virgin. Tells me everything I need to know about them and you.”

Three days later, Eren finds himself alone in your off-campus apartment, laying on your bed, stomach to the mattress, while he tries to convince himself to study for his upcoming biology exam. He finds looking around your room to be much more interesting, though, and takes the time to notice things he hadn’t before.

There’s a small strip of images of the two of your in a clear mason jar on your nightstand—the newest addition to your collection—from the photo booth at the ice-skating rink you went to last week. Eren doesn’t know why you insist on going to every photo booth you come across, but who is he to deny you the pictures.

When he looks to your closet, he isn’t surprised to see two of his hoodies, one of his warm-up soccer uniforms, and last season’s hockey jersey hanging up. What does surprise him, is the way they’re all hung up next to each other, like they have their own little section amongst your clothing; like they were reserved, special almost. He bets they’re all probably washed and clean, too; because you take care of his things like that.

He thinks about how he has a few pairs of sweatpants and pajamas—hell, even a pair of slacks and a button-down from one of your fancier dates—all tucked away in his very own drawer in your dresser. The bucket hats thats you claim are oh-so ugly still have their own place in your room, hanging next to your belts. Even his psychology textbook sits on your desk, clearly set aside for him and taken care of, but still integrated amongst your other belongings. 

You seem to be the only person who thinks Eren and all his baggage can have a place in your life. You seem to always have space for things to fit in, no matter how stupid, or ugly, or tattered they are; no matter how emotional, or lost, or impulsive he is. Nothing is out of place here, himself included. 

Lost in his thoughts, Eren doesn’t register the sound of your front door opening, or your footsteps growing louder. In fact, he doesn’t register that you’re home at all, until you come padding into your bedroom, shaking your backpack off of your shoulders and setting it next to his on the ground.

“Hey, baby,” you greet him, almost offhandedly, as you place your coffee down on your desk. He doesn’t mind—actually the element of practiced casualness in your tone brings a kind of warmth to him, and makes his stomach flutter. 

“Hey,” he smiles, a stupidly fond look in his eye as his watched you shimmy your jacket off of your shoulders. 

Eren sits himself upwards, shifting so that his long legs dangle off the edge of your bed as he watching your silhouette move throughout your bedroom. When you’re finished removing all your layers and jewelry, you finally look to him, greeting him a second time as you walk towards him and your bed.

Eren cages you in when you reach him, his ankles wrapped on top of each other as he secures you standing between his legs. He wraps his arms loosely around your waist, while your fingers crawl up the nape of his neck.

“Your hair’s dry,” you hum, your fingers raking through his brown locks as if to make your point, “You didn’t shower yet?”

Eren shakes his head lightly, craning his neck forwards to tuck the cold tip of his nose into your collar. He holds you a little tighter when you smooth his hair down, one of your hands resting against the back of his neck, and lightly scraping at the hairs near his nape.

“How come?” you question innocently, “I thought your classes ended a few hours ago—did your lab go late again? You should tell your TA you have a life outside of trying to culture bacteria in a dish, you know.”

Eren chuckles lightly, but feels the concern in your voice tug heavily at his heart strings. You seem to really hate his lab TA.

“Wasn’t him this time,” Eren mumbles against your skin, “Was waiting for you.”

“Yeah? That gonna be a regular thing, now?”

“Wouldn’t mind,” Eren confesses, words barely audible as he buries his face into your neck. He tries tickle you with his eyelashes, shift the heat towards you, but you move out of reach too quickly; your hands on his shoulders, forcing him to sit upright.

He has to look up you, just slightly, and he hopes he doesn’t look like a complete blushing idiot. If he does, you don’t seem to mind, if the way you cup his face between your hands is any indication.

“Well then, come on. I bought two new loofahs yesterday.”

Eren follows you to the bathroom with a smile, borderline giggling with excitement all the way to the shower. When it comes down to it, he relishes in the feeling of your fingertips against his scalp, suds of shampoo cascading down his neck as you find amusement in coiling his hair into a bubbly mohawk.

It’s so mundane, so simple, yet overwhelmingly intimate the way you’re taking care of him—the way you always take care of him. It fills Eren to the brim with emotions he can’t even begin to convey with words.

And when you’ve had you’re fun, and made sure his hair is throughly clean and smells like apples, you take your body wash on the ball of his (his! his very own!) loofah, and scrub away at his back, down his shoulders, across his torso; and Eren can’t stop the tears from falling.

He realizes his must look bizzare, to be standing the middle of your shower, crying like a baby with soap and suds all over his body, but he can’t help himself.

“Eren? Baby, what’s wrong?”

“Nothing, nothing,” he assures you, hiccuping between his words and sniffling away any more tears that threaten to fall. You don’t seem convinced, and once again, Eren feels his heart swell at just the sheer thought at you’d hold even an ounce of concern for him the way you do.

“You’re crying, Eren,” you point out, voice soft, but clearly concerned, as you reach your hands up to cup his face again, “Did I hurt you? What’s wr—”

Eren cuts you off by wrapping you in a hug, hoping—praying—you know that you could never hurt him. The two of you spend nearly five whole minutes like that, your arms wrapped around each other’s middles, with warm water pouring over your naked skin. Eren can feel you pressing shallow kisses into his chest, and he feels his heart physically swell every time your lips make contact with his skin.

It’s on the fifth, quiet press of your lips that Eren knows he can’t hold it in anymore; pulls away from your embrace to look you in your eyes.

“I love you,” he finally confesses, with wet hair stuck to his forehead, and teary eyes. It’s hardly a picture perfect moment, but Eren can’t bring himself to care; he needs you to know.

But, of course, you already did. “I know, Eren,” you say with a smile, kissing his chin, and then on the tips of your toes, his lips, “And I love you more.”

[fortheloveofwonderland]

Ask the Stars [Spencer Reid x fem! Reader]

Find my masterlist here. Requests are Open.

Requested: Yes l No

A/N: I’ve had this idea floating around for a while and finally decided to write it and it flowed liked nobodies business! I LOVED writing this so I hope you enjoy reading it. Special thanks to the angel @dreatine who gave me the title for this fic and showing me the beautiful song the title is from (lyrics for which can be found throughout). Set pre-BAU.

CW: swearing, drinking, mutual pining, friends to lovers, age gap between consenting adults, virgin! Spencer, penetrative sex, unprotected sex, fingering, groping. I think that’s everything!

Plot: growing up together, best friends Spencer and the reader have always been secretly in love with one another. But a night together under the stars might be too little too late and with Spencer moving to DC and you to Idaho, that one night may be all you ever get.

WC: 12.2K

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Ask the stars up in the sky,

Ask the stars they’ll tell you why.

Stars know ev’ry little thing you do,

There’s a little star that’s watching you.

Ask the stars when you’re with me,

Ask the stars then watch and see.

Las Vegas, Nevada - 2003

Spencer didn’t think he would have made it through the last ten years of his life and been where he was now if it hadn't been for the family next door.

He was just twelve years old when they’d moved in, struggling to cope with high school bullies and his mom's schizophrenia all on his own.

They would help out with his mom in any way they could, they had him round for dinner when it was too tough for him to go home and they took him along on their annual camping trips every year.

They had been there for him when he’d had to have his mom committed when he was eighteen. They were kind, friendly people. They treated Spencer like their own son.

He liked to pretend when he was with them that they were his family. He liked to play pretend, that he had a loving father and a mom who wasn’t sick.

He lived in a fantasy world whenever he was with them.

But Spencer’s favourite part about the family next door by far, was their daughter, Y/N.

You were four years Spencer’s junior, just an adorable eight year old when you’d moved in next door to the young genius and his mother. The two of you had grown up together and somewhere along the way attraction and feelings developed.

Of course neither one of you had ever said as much. You were best friends, you didn’t want to risk destroying that by confessing your feelings for him.

And besides, at the end of the summer the two of you were going your separate ways; you were off to college in Idaho and Spencer was moving to DC for his illustrious new job at the FBI.

This was the last chance the two of you had to spend time together before everything inevitably changed. So maybe going on a camping trip with your parents at eighteen was a little lame. But there was one reason and one reason alone you were going on the trip.

Spencer Reid.

***

Just as you were lugging the last of your bags out of the front door, you heard the front gate creak open.

Your eyes shot up and landed instantly on his as he slipped through the gate.

You immediately dropped the bag on the floor and were dashing down the front steps and down the path.

“Spence!” You squealed, running at him at speed.

He caught you in his arms and the two of you almost went tumbling back to the concrete but he managed to steady you both.

“Whoa Y/N,” he laughed, wrapping you tightly in his arms. “I missed you too.”

You clung to your best friend, breathing in his scent. He’d only been gone two months finishing up his third PhD, but it felt like forever.

The last few years Spencer’s studies had taken him away from Vegas much more than you would have both liked. He’d missed the last two family camping trips and they had been so dull without him.

You were so happy to have him back for one last trip.

“It’s so good to see you.” You smiled, pulling back from the hug to get a proper look at him. Of course over the years you’d memorised every sculpted curve of his face, those sharp cheekbones, deep set eyes and sinfully plump lips but you would never tire of looking at him.

“Y/N, Spencer, it’s time to go!” Your mom hollered from the street, breaking you out of your thoughts.

“Give me a hand with my bag?”

“Of course.” He smiled, following up the path to the house.

You felt lighter when Spencer was around, like all of your worries and fears just melted away.

You had no idea how you would cope with him in DC while you were in Idaho. But that was a problem for another day.

For now you were just revelling in Spencer’s presence.

***

Admittedly camping with your parents was never a terrible experience. Your dad was the outdoorsy type, your mom was not. So they compromised.

Yes you were in the woods but your mom would not allow sleeping in rustic tents. Every year she booked up the most glamorous of tents for your stays. Wood flooring, real beds, even nightstands and lamps.

So technically you were sleeping in a tent, but it was just as comfortable, if not more so than your bedroom at home. The site was equipped with showers and real toilets. It wasn’t really like camping at all.

“Oh Spencer sweetie,” your mom called to him as you were unpacking the car several hours of driving later.

“Yes?” He looked up at her with a smile.

“Did Y/N tell you, we weren’t able to book three pods this year, I must have called late. I hope it’s ok for the two of you to share?”

Wow. Your mom was a better liar than you pegged her to be.

Even your dad seemed to fall for it.

When she’d told you a few days ago, you’d seen right through it.

You knew your mom had known for a long time of your crush on your genius neighbour. She’d probably known before even you did.

So you didn’t question it when she’d told you she’d only been able to book two camping pods, but you were sure your blush gave away exactly what you thought about it.

“Uhm yeah I guess that’s fine.” He shrugged and was that a blush you saw spreading to his cheeks? “I’ve got my sleeping bag, I can just sleep on the floor.”

Not if I have anything to do with it, you thought but his response seemed to appease your father.

Once Spencer went back to emptying the bags from the car your mom gave you a look and a small smirk.

You tried not to blush. Your mom had always been pretty cool for a mom and you had never been more grateful for that until right now.

You finished unpacking the car and took your stuff to your allocated tent to change before heading down to the lake.

Spencer took some clothes to the toilets to change and you spent longer than was necessary picking out the perfect bathing suit.

The last time Spencer had seen you in a bathing suit was two years ago and boy had your body changed in two years. You couldn’t wait to show it off to him.

You just hoped he liked what he saw.

***

Thankfully Spencer had already dived into the water before you took off your summer dress and unsheathed the glorious body you were hiding underneath the fabric.

The water made for a great way to hide the erection that almost immediately grew when he saw you in that bathing suit.

He tried not to look at you, mostly because your parents were there and he was sure they wouldn’t be happy with him gawking over their daughter.

But he was in essence, a cold blooded male. He’d had a crush on you for about as long as he could remember, you’d grown up together, surely it was only inevitable?

But you were his best friend. You were the only real friend he’d ever had. And he didn’t want to ruin that by sexualising you. But god that would be so much easier to do if you weren’t so damn hot.

When had you stopped being the adorable girl next door who used to play with her pony toys in the front yard? When did you become this drop dead gorgeous woman standing before him in a scantily clad bathing suit?

You had changed since the last time he’d seen you in so little clothes. You’d developed curves in what Spencer thought was all the right places.

You looked up and your eyes met his and you gave him a bright smile that made him feel a little weak. You walked to the edge of the lake and he couldn’t tear his eyes away from you.

You walked with poise, a sense of a confidence Spencer could never muster. He watched as you dove into the water so gracefully, and re-emerge a few feet in front of him.

You pushed your wet hair off your face and waded closer to him, wiping the water from your eyes.

Spencer felt a lump forming in his throat the closer you got. His eyes betrayed him and they fell to your chest, the water droplets rolling over your skin shimmered in the sun.

How I want to lick those beads of water off your skin.

“You ok?” You laughed, coming to a stop in front of him.

“M-me? Y-yes why wouldn’t I b-be.” He stuttered at the close proximity he now found himself in to you. He could reach out and touch you. He could reach out and kiss you.

He did neither.

“Come here,” he raised your hands out of the water. “Your hair is going to get in your eyes.”

You gently stroked a strand of Spencer’s wet hair out of his face and it sent a shiver racing up his spine.

His cock was aching. He’d never been touched by a woman in such a way. He’d never been touched by a woman in any way and honestly it felt like he could blow his load just from you stroking back his hair.

“Much better.” You smiled at him, leaving him feeling a little downtrodden when you withdrew your hand.

“Uh thanks.” He croaked, feeling light headed.

“You’re welcome.”

For a moment the two of you stared at each other, eyes locked as though communicating subconsciously.

Spencer wanted to grab hold of you and kiss you like there was no tomorrow. He wanted to pull you close and feel your body pressed up against his own, run his fingers over your every curve.

He wanted his hands to get lost in your hair. He wanted to bury himself between your thighs. He wanted to feel you, to taste you.

Honestly you were thinking the same, he just didn’t know it. His white t-shirt cling to his skin now soaked in water and you could just make out the soft skin of his chest underneath. You wanted to run your hands over that skin, through his hair, over every part of his body.

You wanted to feel him inside of you, his fingers, his cock, anything. You wanted to stare deep into his eyes while he made you come.

All of a sudden Spencer snapped out of his trance before he did something to make a fool of himself.

“I’ll race you to the next dock!” He dove beneath the surface before you had time to register his words.

You watched him go, splashing a lot as he swam, gangly limbs flailing.

It took you a few seconds to pick your mind up out of the gutter and start swimming after him.

Being the much more adept swimmer, despite Spencer’s head start you managed to beat him to the next dock.

He was much more out of breath than you when he arrived.

“How did you get into the FBI again?” You laughed as he gripped hold of the dock for dear life.

“They ultimately had to make exceptions to allow me into the field.” He panted.

“Clearly.” You teased. “Ohh and look, we’re right by the jet ski hire!” You pulled yourself up on the dock and sat on the edge looking down at Spencer.

“You know I hate those things. Did you know there are around seven hundred jet ski related accidents every year which results in approximately forty deaths? I don’t like those odds, I’ll wait on the dock.”

He tried and failed to get out of the water and in the end you had to help hoist him up.

“No way, you're coming with me.” You stood up and pulled him to his feet as well.

“I most certainly am not.” He made the mistake of looking into your eyes. Those beautiful expressive eyes that could probably make him commit murder.

“Please?” You asked softly and he was like putty in your hands.

“F-fine.” He grumbled.

“Yay!” You squealed a little, throwing yourself into his arms.

Your body pressed up against his and he tentatively wrapped his arms around you.

Your wet bathing suit and his wet t-shirt clung to each other and he could feel your every curve.

Thankfully you pulled away before he got too excited. You took hold of his hand now and started leading him towards the hire booth.

Honestly he’d let you lead him anywhere.

***

Spencer was still shaking almost ten minutes after pulling up in the small alcove a way up the lake and dismounting the jet ski.

He’d enjoyed the close proximity with you it had involved but it didn’t make up for the sheer terror of your haphazard driving.

“You look like you’ve seen a ghost.” You laughed staring down at him as he laid on the grass.

“All I’ll say is, if you drove a car like that I would never let you drive me anywhere.”

“It’s a jet ski Einstein, they are supposed to go fast.” You nudged his ribs with your toe. “Get up, we need to head back.”

“I would literally rather swim back.” He groaned.

You rolled your eyes, nudging his ribs again.

“It’s probably almost a mile back, don’t be so dramatic.” You leant over him and took hold of his hands, pulling him into a sitting position. “How about you drive? That way we can go at a granny pace.”

“Funny.” He grumbled, getting to his feet. “But I will drive actually. I’d rather not die of a heart attack on this lake.”

You slid the rubber band over your hand that the key dangled from and tossed it at Spencer.

He flapped about trying to catch it and just managed to stop it falling to the floor.

You got in your positions on the jet ski. You wrapped yourself tighter around him than was necessary, your arms snaking around his waist and resting on his stomach.

Spencer shuddered but he hoped you would think it was due to the wind.

It could have been the wind but the timing seemed a little too convenient. Did your touch really have that effect on him? He’d never given you any indication that he liked you in that way, but could it be possible? Maybe you would have to test that out.

Spencer took a tentative breath and started the jet ski’s engine. You tightened your hold on him as it started moving.

Spencer was slow to start with just like you had assumed he would be. It was quite nice actually. You had a chance to revel in the way the water felt as it splashed onto your bare legs, the way the wind felt in your hair.

But mostly you were wrapped up in the way it felt to be this close to Spencer.

You pressed your chest into your back, making sure he could feel your breasts on him. You started by gently moving your fingers over the fabric of his t-shirt, round in little circles on his stomach.

As he picked up the speed a little you dared to let your fingers drop a little lower, over his hip bones. You felt him tense a little but due to the sound of the jet ski you didn’t hear the way his breath hitched at your touch.

You moved your hands again, your fingers gently grazing the waistband of his swim shorts.

Spencer practically jumped at your touch so near his crotch and he inadvertently swerved sharply, so sharply that it sent the two of you flying off the seat and crashing into the water.

The engine cut off when the key attached around Spencer’s wrist was yanked out with him.

You both broke the surface, spluttering a little.

“What the hell Spencer?” you pushed your hair back off your face. “Why did you do that?”

Because you have no idea how long I have wanted you to touch me like that.

“You uh...your...I don’t know. I just lost control I guess.” he didn’t want to tell you that your touch had sent him into a tailspin and he had completely lost his focus.

But you had a pretty good idea that was what had happened. And if that was the case, why? Why had your touch affected him in that way? Surely he did not feel for you the way you felt about him?

It couldn’t be possible. But it surely did seem that way.

“I’ll drive the rest of the way.” you told him, rather than pushing him. You didn’t want to make him uncomfortable.

But you might have to test this more, maybe on stable ground.

You both climbed back up onto the jet ski, Spencer slightly less gracefully than you, and he handed you over the key.

You made it back to the jet ski hire with no further incident and Spencer was happy to be back on dry land. Although he did miss the closeness the jet ski brought.

“I need to use the bathroom, I’ll be right back ok?” Spencer told you while you returned your life vests.

“Sure, I’ll be here.” you gave him a soft smile.

He couldn’t help but give your body a once over again, it was accidental, he couldn’t stop himself. The feeling of your fingers on his waistband and your chest pressed up against his back were imprinted in his mind and by the time he reached the bathroom he was hard again.

Making sure there was no one else in the bathroom he shut himself in one of the cubicles. He leant against the closed door and exhaled a shaky breath.

It wouldn’t be the first time he had touched himself while thinking of you but this seemed dirty. This wasn’t the comfort of his own bedroom where no one would catch him.

But he knew he needed to take care of this otherwise it would plague him all day.

With another shaky breath he relieved himself from his swim shorts. He closed his eyes, taking his length in his hand and started stroking himself. He bit his lip hard to stem his moans as he pictured you in that sinful bathing suit.

He imagined your fingers moving from his waistband inside his pants and tried to imagine it was your fingers wrapped around him.

He was panting and mumbling your name in no time and it didn’t take long at all for him to come.

He cleaned himself up as well as the tiled floor he had dirtied before using the facilities and heading back outside.

God he hoped you wouldn’t see his deed written all over his face, he would be mortified.

But by the looks of it, you were too busy to notice anything.

The guy putting the moves on you was shorter than Spencer but much more broad and muscular. He had sun kissed skin and beach blonde hair. He had a charming smile and it was clearly working its magic on you.

Spencer approached slowly, you didn’t seem to notice. As he reached your side the man looked over at him with a frown.

“Can we help you?” he asked Spencer.

“Spence, hi.” you smiled at him before turning all your attention back on the other man. “Greg, this is my best friend Spencer. Spencer, this is Greg.”

Best friend, of course, because that’s how you saw him. Friends. Only ever friends.

You hadn’t had any intention of talking to someone while Spencer was gone but when Greg had approached you, you engaged in friendly conversation.

He was attractive, sure, but in your eyes he had nothing on Spencer.

But there was something in Spencer’s eyes that looked a lot like jealousy. Maybe you could use Greg to your advantage?

“Greg invited us to a party at the lake tonight.” you spoke when neither man said anything.

“I actually invited you to a party.” Greg corrected you.

“Oh.” Spencer squeaked a little.

“I’m only coming if Spencer does.” You told Greg with a seductive smile.

Greg smiled at you and stepped a little closer.

“How can I say no to a face like yours.” He ran his finger over your cheek and Spencer wanted to smack him. “I’ll see you tonight babe.” He winked at you before sauntering away.

“He seems like a complete jackass.” Spencer grumbled once Greg was out of ear shot.

“You didn’t even speak to him.” You frowned at your friend.

“Neither did you, not really. I was only gone five minutes. I don’t think we should go to that party.”

“And why not?” You folded your arms over your chest.

“Because we don’t know him. He could be some creep for all we know.”

“I don’t think that’s what’s bothering you.” You stepped closer to Spencer making him swallow. “Are you jealous Spencer?”

“W-what?” He croaked. “Jealous? W-why would I be j-jealous?”

It was written all over his face. He was jealous.

“I don’t know Spence, you tell me.” You stepped even closer to him now, so close he could feel your breath on his face.

You let your hands drop to your side.

“Do you want me for yourself Spencer? Because you know all you’d have to do is ask.”

Good god, what are you doing to me?

Of course he wanted you all to himself, it’s all he’d ever wanted. But that didn’t change the fact you were his best friend and you were moving to different states.

Telling you he wanted you was completely pointless.

“Of course not.” He tried to scoff, forcing himself to step back away from you. “If you want Greg that’s fine by me.”

“Fine.” You spat.

“Fine.” Spencer mirrored.

And with that you turned on your heels and stormed away.

Maybe you’d been wrong after all. Of course Spencer didn’t like you. What a stupid thought that had been.

***

That night your dad allowed you and a very reluctant Spencer to use his car to head back to the lake and meet Greg and his friends.

You and Spencer hadn’t said much of anything to each other since that afternoon but if your parents had noticed they didn’t say anything.

You felt foolish for thinking he could have possibly been jealous. Of course there was no way the brilliant Spencer Reid looked at you that way. There was no way he would deem you smart enough or interesting enough.

It had clearly all been in your head. Or so you thought.

But of course it hadn’t.

Spencer had wanted to scream at you that of course he was jealous and of course he wanted you all to himself, but he didn’t want to make a fool of himself. There was no way he was confessing his feelings for you. He’d done a good job of keeping them hidden up until now and he certainly wasn’t going to let Greg be the reason he told you.

He would take his feelings for you to the grave. It was easier that way. It was easier than ruining your friendship.

You drove to the lake in stifled silence. Normally small talk wasn’t an issue for the two of you, you could talk about anything and everything for hours on end. But for the first time, neither of you had anything to say to one another.

Thankfully it wasn’t a long drive to the lake and you pulled up soon enough and exited the car as soon as you shut off the engine.

Spencer sighed loudly once alone in the car. This was the last time the two of you would be together in god knows how long and you were in a fight already on the first day of the trip.

He didn’t think the two of you had ever fought, not properly anyway. Was this a fight? Spencer wasn’t even sure. He hoped not. He spent a few minutes alone in the car just collecting himself.

He got out of the car and followed in your footsteps. You were already down by a bonfire near the lake edge with none other than Greg. Greg had his arm around your shoulders as he handed you a bottle of beer which you took with a smile.

Spencer took a deep breath before heading towards you. He really didn’t want to be a third wheel with the two of you but he also didn’t have the kind of confidence it took to go and talk to new people.

Third wheel it is.

“Hi,” you barely acknowledged him as he joined you and Greg and if Spencer wasn’t mistaken you moved your body closer to Greg.

He gave you a half-smile and nodded in Greg’s direction.

“Can I get you a beer?” Greg asked him.

“No thanks. One of us is going to have to drive back and looks like that’s going to be me.” Spencer shrugged, trying not to sound annoyed but he clearly did because he saw you roll your eyes.

“Want to take a walk Greg?” you smiled at the other man who gave your shoulders a squeeze as he eyed you up and down.

“I would love that.” he chuckled and before Spencer knew it he was leading you away from him.

It had been all of two minutes and you had already abandoned him. Great.

He turned away from the lake and started back up towards the car assuming he would just wait for you there while you were off doing god knows what with Greg.

He made his way towards the car but didn’t get very far before someone ran into him, knocking him to the floor.

“Ow.” he groaned as he hit the ground, someone landing roughly on top of him.

“Oh my gosh, I am so, so sorry!” she pushed herself off of him, standing up before holding out a hand to help him.

Spencer took it and allowed the stranger to pull him to his feet.

“I was chasing after a frisbee and I wasn’t looking where I was going. Are you ok?” she was smiling sweetly at him and Spencer couldn’t help but think it was a very pretty smile.

Maybe not as pretty as yours but pretty in its own right.

“It’s ok.” he told her, shaking it off. “These things happen. I’m uh...I’m Spencer.”

She smiled again and nodded.

“Rose.” she replied. “Would you care to join me for a drink Spencer?”

“You know what?” Spencer smiled. “I don’t mind if I do.”

***

You and Greg had walked further up the lake and found a spot near the water's edge to sit. It didn’t take long before his lips were on yours and his fingers were in your hair.

It was...nice. It was nothing special but it was ok. And you couldn’t help but wish it was Spencer’s lips pressed against your own.

When Greg’s hands moved from your hair down to your breasts, palming them through your top a little roughly, you pushed him back.

“Nuh uh.” you shook your head frowning at him. “I don’t think so.”

“Oh come on babe, we’re just having a little fun.”

“We can have fun without you groping me.” you picked up your beer bottle and swigged from it.

“I didn’t peg you as a prude Y/N.” he raised an eyebrow at you.

“Because I’m not. I prefer the term selective.” you scoffed.

He didn’t take your reluctance as a no however and he moved in again, his lips latching on to your neck and his hand finding your thigh.

He moved his hand higher up your bare leg, over your denim shorts and soon his fingers were toying with the button.

Once again you pushed him, harder than before.

“Hey asshole.” you spat. “I said no.”

He rolled his eyes, picking up his own beer, downing the contents and then tossing it away.

“You’re a drag.” he groaned. “Is this because of that pipe cleaner friend of yours?”

“No.” you pushed yourself up from the ground, grabbing your beer. “This has nothing to do with Spencer. I just don’t like pushy men who think they’re god's gift to women.”

You turned away from him and started back towards the bonfire you could see burning brightly in the distance.

“Girls like you are a dime a dozen.” he called after you.

You flipped him the bird over your shoulder but you didn’t turn back to look at him.

“Asshole.” you muttered to yourself.

You should have listened to Spencer, he’d always been a good judge of character. Maybe you’d have to apologise to him.

You made your way back to the bonfire to find him and make up but you didn’t have to look far.

He was sitting on one of the logs next to the fire but he wasn’t alone.

He had a petite redhead sitting in his lap, her arms wrapped around his neck. And her lips were hungrily exploring his.

“Oh god.” you felt like you’d just been kicked in the chest, like all the air had been forced from your lungs.

You lost your grip on the beer bottle and it fell to the ground.

His hands were gently on her hips, holding her place while he explored her mouth.

Your tears came out of nowhere, alarming you as they started heavily cascading down your cheeks.

Just as a sob wracked your body, you took off running up the bank and towards the car.

You couldn’t watch anymore. Seeing Spencer kiss that girl made your heart feel like it was shattering into a thousand tiny pieces.

You got back in the car and sobbed. Every time you closed your eyes, all you could see was Spencer and that girl, locking lips.

And all you could think was, it should be me.

***

“Sorry if that was really forward of me.” Rose blushed a little when the kiss ended.

Spencer was blushing too, but he had been since their lips first touched.

“I-it’s o-ok.” he stuttered, completely baffled by what had just happened. “I-it was n-nice.”

“I hope it was a little more than nice.” Rose giggled.

But it wasn’t. It was simply nice. It was a nice kiss but it wasn’t with you. He’d kissed girls before but it never felt quite right. And he knew it was because he wasn’t kissing you.

He didn’t speak, he couldn’t find the right words to say.

Rose’s face fell a little and she slid off Spencer’s lap onto the log next to him.

“I know that look.” she chewed her lip. “That’s the look of a guy who is thinking about someone else.”

He wanted to argue with her but it seemed pointless.

“I’m sorry.” He shrugged pathetically. “You’re beautiful and you have no idea how much I wish I wasn’t thinking about someone else. But I am. I always am.”

“It’s ok.” She placed her hand gently on his knee. “It was nice to meet you Spencer.” She pushed herself up from the log.

“You too Rose.” He stood too, needing to find you before you did anything stupid with Greg.

Just as he had this thought, Greg came wandering towards the bonfire alone.

“Where’s Y/N?” Spencer rushed over to him.

“How should I know?” Greg scoffed. “That girl is a cock tease. Not worth my time.”

“Don’t say that.” Spencer practically whined, making Greg chuckle.

“What are you gonna do about it?” Greg snarled at him.

“I uh...I need to find Y/N.” He changed the subject. He did not want to get into a fight because he would most certainly lose.

“Whatever.” Greg scoffed, turning away from Spencer.

Spencer scanned the crowds but couldn’t see you, he knew he’d be able to pick you out of any crowd.

He practically sprinted back to the car, hoping to find you there and as luck would have it, there you were in the driver's seat.

But even in the dark he could see that you were crying.

He ran to the passenger door and flung it open.

“Oh my god Y/N, what’s wrong?” He threw his arms around you, pulling you closer over the console.

“Get off me.” You pushed him away, sniffing back your tears.

“What’s wrong? What did Greg do?” He asked clearly not noticing your hostility towards him.

You sighed, not wanting to tell your best friend you were crying over seeing him kiss another girl, you shook your head, fixing your seatbelt in place.

“Nothing. I just want to forget all about tonight.” You started the engine.

“O-ok.” Spencer chewed his lip.

Neither of you spoke again on the drive back to the campsite or once you were back in your pod.

You slipped into the bed and Spencer in his sleeping bag on the floor.

Neither of you got much sleep that night, you both had too much on your mind. Namely, being in love with your best friends who were seemingly oblivious.

***

The next morning when you awoke you decided today was a new day. You weren’t going to allow yourself to spend the whole trip being mad at Spencer.

You’d never seen him with a girl before, it had been a shock. But he was twenty two, he must have had girlfriends before you guess he’d just chosen not to tell you. And it wasn’t as though you’d never been with a man.

You resided yourself to the fact that you and Spencer were destined to be friends and that was ok. At least it would be ok. It had to be.

You knelt down on the floor next to his sleeping bag and watched him for a second. He was sound asleep, his breathing soft and even. His plump lips were parted ever so slightly and his hair was draped over the pillow. His eyelashes grazed the skins under his eyes.

Maybe it would be a little harder than you thought to just see him as a friend.

Suddenly his eyes fluttered open and landed on you.

He frowned a little, rubbing his eyes with the palms of his hands.

“Uh...good morning.” He croaked, voice riddled with sleep. “Were you staring at me while I slept?”

“No.” You scoffed, standing back up. “I was just wondering if I could free your hand and put it in a glass of water, see if that peeing thing really works.” You started rummaging through one of your bags to hide your blush from Spencer.

“Mature.” He laughed a little as he sat up. “Hey Y/N, are you ok?”

You took a few deep breaths and turned back to him with a large, fake smile on your lips.

“I’m great.” You beamed. “Now get up sleepy head, we’re going for a hike!”

And with that you took your clothes and stepped over him, undoing the front of the tent pod and disappearing.

Spencer ran his fingers through his hair with a sigh.

He wished falling out of love with you was as easy as it had been falling in love with you.

Not being in love with his best friend would make his life so much easier. But life never was good to Spencer.

***

Spencer loved your family but you were all much more athletic than he could ever hope to be. After a five mile hike, Spencer was exhausted. Sweat made his shirt cling to his body and his hair stick to his forehead.

When your mom had suggested stopping for the picnic she had packed, he was more than happy to oblige.

He practically fell to the grass on his back, panting and sweating.

“If it wasn’t for that huge brain of yours there is no way you would have gotten into the FBI.” you laughed as you flopped down next to him.

“Be nice Y/N.” your mom scalded you to which you rolled your eyes.

Your mom set some food while your dad poured glasses of soda for you all. You spent an hour sitting in the sunshine eating while Spencer worked on getting his breath back.

They still had a five mile walk back.

Spencer found himself stealing glances at you as you ate, like he usually did. He never grew tired of watching you.

You were wearing cargo pants and a vest top. His eyes caressed the side of your neck and the curve of your shoulder and your collarbone. Your skin glistened a little from the heat.

His eyes grazed up to the side of your face and the stray strand of hair that fell onto your face. He wanted to lean in and tuck behind your ear but that seemed too intimate.

He must have been watching you for a long time because when he resurfaced from his thoughts your mom was packing up what was left of the picnic.

“Spence and I will make our way back.” You stood up and brushed down the back of your cargo pants.

“Don’t get lost.” You dad shot you a sarcastic look.

“We’ll be fine. Come on Spence.” You encouraged to which he stood too.

“See you later.” He waved at your parents before following where you had already started walking.

“Do you even know where you’re going?” He asked once he caught up with you.

“No idea.” You shrugged.

“Oh good, just what I want. To get lost in the woods with you.” He rolled his eyes.

“Yeah I’m sure you’d much rather get lost in the woods with that redhead from last night, right?” The bitterness was seeping from your words.

Spencer stopped in his tracks.

“Uh...what redhead?” He tried to lie, he didn’t know what you’d seen so he didn’t want to give away too much.

“Don’t play dumb Spencer.” You stopped too so you could look at him. “The one who was cosied up on your lap, eating your face.”

“Oh. That redhead.” He chewed his lip. “I uh...didn’t realise you saw that.”

“Well I did.” You shrugged. “Looked like you were having fun.”

“It w-was...she was nice I guess.”

“Good.” You spat a little more harshly than you’d meant to.

Spencer frowned, stepping closer to you, leaves crunching under foot.

“Are you annoyed?”

“What? No. Why would I be annoyed?” You scoffed, giving him your best eye roll.

“You seem annoyed.”

“Well I’m not.”

“Good. Because you wouldn’t have any right to be.” It was like he was poking a bear with a stick. He was trying to get a rise out of you.

“And why wouldn’t I?” It was working, you were rising to it.

“Because you left me alone while you went off to do god knows what with Greg. I had to pass the time somehow.”

“By sticking your tongue down some random girl's throat?”

“I’m sure you were doing much more with him.”

“And what’s that supposed to mean?” You growled, stepping closer to him now.

“You know exactly what that means.” He stepped closer to you too, as though you were challenging each other.

“You really think I was off fucking him?” You raised your voice. “Is that what you think of me?”

“Weren’t you?” He shrugged.

“I most certainly was not! He tried to get fresh with me and I pushed him away. He was a jackass! And then I come back to find you making out with that girl!”

“So you are annoyed about that?”

“Yes, happy? Yes I am annoyed about that.” You yelled.

Spencer closed the space between you but you stepped backwards away from him. He backed you into a tree where you collided with the bark.

He put his hands either side of your head pinning you in place.

Where had this side of him come from?

“Why are you annoyed Y/N?”

“I don’t know.”

“Yes you do.”

“No I don’t.” You tried to insist but you knew he could see right through you.

“Tell me. Tell me why you’re annoyed with me for Christ sakes Y/N! What did I do that was so wrong? I was just having some fun.”

“Without me.” You pouted.

“I can’t have fun without you?”

“No, it’s not that.” You shook your head, very conscious of how close Spencer was to you.

“So what is it then? Tell me.”

“I don’t like seeing you with another girl ok?” You raised your voice again.

“But I have to see you with another man?”

“I offered myself to you Spencer. I said all you had to do was ask. You said no. What was I supposed to think?”

“Y-you…you meant that?” His facade faltered and his hands fell to his sides.

“Of course I did.” You spat.

“You...you…” he swallowed.

“It should have been me you were kissing. Asshole.” You mumbled pathetically.

Spencer didn’t know what came over him at that moment but he couldn’t hold back.

He took your face in his hands and pushed you back against the tree trunk before pressing his lips to yours.

For a moment you kissed him back but then your anger returned and suddenly you were pushing him away.

“Stop it!” You yelled. “It’s too little too late Spencer. I don’t want to be your second choice. I don’t want you after she’s had you.”

“S-second choice? Y/N you could never be my-“

“Save it.” You pushed passed him and started walking again. “I don’t want to talk about this anymore. We need to get back before it starts getting dark.”

You didn’t know what had come over you. All you’d ever wanted was to feel Spencer’s lips on yours. But when he kissed you, all you could think of was that redhead from last night.

And it broke your heart all over again.

***

“Spence?” You whispered into the dark. “Spence are you awake?”

It had been a long, awkward walk back followed by a long, awkward evening back at the campsite with your parents.

You and Spencer had said barely two words to each other before you called for an early night and crawled into your bed.

“Yeah I’m awake.” He whispered in reply from the floor.

“I’m...I’m really cold.” You felt foolish but you were freezing, you couldn’t seem to warm up.

And the only thing you could think that would help would be Spencer’s warm body next to you.

You heard him sigh followed by some rustling. Then you saw his silhouette beside the bed.

“You want me to warm you up?” He asked softly.

“If it’s not...too much to ask.” You didn’t deserve him being kind to you but that was the thing about Spencer, he was always there when you needed him. No matter what.

He sighed again before lifting the covers and sliding into the bed.

“Come here.” He held his arm open for you and you slid closer to him, his arm wrapping around your waist and you rested your head on his chest.

As suspected, he was radiating warmth. You snuggled into him sighing in content. He ran his fingers up and down your side.

“I’m sorry about earlier Y/N.” he spoke into your hair.

“Why are you sorry?”

“I shouldn’t have kissed you, not like that. It was wrong of me and I’m sorry.”

You shifted a little so you could look up at him.

“I’m the one who should be sorry, Spence. I shouldn’t have acted the way I did. I just...I don’t like the way I felt seeing you with that girl.”

“It didn’t feel great for me seeing you with Greg either.” he cupped your face with his free hand and stroked your cheek with his thumb.

“I don’t want to ruin our friendship, Spence.” a tear escaped your eye. “You’re my best friend and I don’t want to do anything to change that. But I can’t pretend that it didn’t hurt to see you with another girl. And I suppose that means I have feelings for you that go beyond friendship. But I can’t lose my best friend Spence.” a few more tears fell and Spencer tried to wipe them away with his thumb.

“I know Y/N, me too.” He agreed, chewing his lip.

You settled back into his chest and he tightened his hold on you. If this was as close as he could have you then he was going to soak in every moment.

Eventually you both fell asleep, into peaceful slumbers brought on by being wrapped in each other’s embraces.

***

For the rest of the week you and Spencer avoided unnecessary touches and glances each other’s way.

You tried to act normal. You tried to act like you hadn’t kissed and spent the night in each other’s arms.

You knew your parents suspected something was amiss with the two of you, you weren’t quite as pally as you usually were but neither of them said anything.

You spent days at the lake, you went for hikes and sat around the campfire in the evenings as the sunset around you.

On your final night your parents retired to their pod but you remained sitting on one of the logs, a blanket wrapped around your shoulders.

“Are you coming to bed?” Spencer asked you softly.

“Not yet, I might watch the stars for a while.”

“Want company?” He smiled at you and you nodded.

He laid his own blanket out of the ground and motioned for you to come over.

You laid side by side on your backs and you draped your blanket over the top of you both as you stared up at the sky.

“I can’t believe you’re leaving for DC when we get back.” You sniffed back any tears that might fall. “I have to spend the rest of the summer at home without you.”

“You’ll be off to college in a few weeks. You’ll forget all about me.”

You rolled your head to the side and he did the same so you were looking at each other.

“Spence, I could never forget you.” You reached for his hand and entwined your fingers.

He sighed in content at your touch. It was the most physical contact you’d had in almost a week.

“I’m going to miss you so much.” He gave your hand a gentle squeeze.

“I’m going to miss you too Spence.”

You laid like that under the stars, just staring into each other’s eyes for some time. There were so many things you both wanted to say but nothing seemed good enough.

Somehow you ended up closer together on the blanket, you’re not sure how it happened. You weren’t sure if you’d moved closer or if Spencer had or maybe you both had, but somehow you ended up with barely a few inches between your faces.

You could feel his soft breath on your face and you couldn’t tear your eyes away from his lips. That kiss had burned itself into your brain and you couldn’t believe you’d pushed him away before you got to really enjoy it.

“Spence,” you whispered after a long stretch of silence.

“Yes Y/N?”

“All you have to do is ask.” You repeated what you’d said to him at the lake your first day.

He knew exactly what you meant and it made his chest tighten at the mere thought.

“Y/N?” He whispered, edging even closer to you.

“Yes?”

“Can I...c-can I kiss you?” He stuttered.

“I’d be disappointed if you didn’t Spence.”

He let go of your hand so he could cup your cheek and slowly closed the small space between you.

This time when your lips met it was slow and soft. You revelled in the feeling of his plump, pillowy lips pressed against yours for a moment before you cautiously parted your lips.

Spencer was tentative in his movements as though you may push him away again at any moment.

But of course you didn’t. He slid his tongue in your mouth and started exploring you, slowly at first but soon an animal instinct took over.

He explored your mouth hungrily, holding your face delicately in his large hands. You wrapped your arms around his neck and helped him roll on top of you.

He was hard already, you could feel it pressing against you and you knew a kiss wasn’t going to be enough.

You played with his hair, tugging it a little and he moaned into your mouth, subconsciously grinding his hips into yours.

You dared to let your hands roam his back until you reached the hem of his hoodie and slipped your hands under the fabric.

He moaned again at the feeling of your hands on the skin of his back. It spurred you on to rake your nails lightly over his flesh. You were met with another hard roll of his hips.

The kiss ended so you could both gasp for the air that had left your lungs. Spencer chewed his lip nervously, scared of what might happen next.

“Should w-we uh...do you want to go into t-the tent?” he was so unsure of himself. He didn’t want to sound as though he was being presumptive.

“No,” you whispered, but you were smiling. “I want to stay out here.”

“B-but your parents…”

“Sleep like logs.” you laughed, stroking back his hair. “Spencer, I want you to make love to me under the stars. Do you think that’s something...something you can d-do?” you suddenly felt nervous telling him what you wanted. Maybe that’s not what he wanted? Maybe it was just a kiss?

But the hiss that slipped from his lips told you it was exactly what he wanted.

“I-I...there is n-nothing in the world I want m-more.” he swallowed. “B-but I...I’ve never...done this before.” his cheeks turned crimson in an instant.

Your heart swelled. You had no idea. You assumed Spencer was just quiet about his exploits. You had no idea he’d never been with a woman before.

“Oh,” you didn’t really know what to say. “Is this...have you ever pictured, you know, what your uh...first time would be like?”

His blush deepened and he gnawed heavily on his lip.

“All the time.” he confessed. “And it’s always with you.”

“Kiss me Spence.” you smiled at him, pulling him closer again by his neck.

Your lips met again but this time it was much more frantic and desperate, now you both knew exactly where this was going.

You hooked your fingers under the hem of his hoodie and pulled it up his body. He sat back so he could pull it over his head.

“T-shirt too.” you told him with a smirk while he was sat up.

He looked a little nervous but he complied. In all the years you’d known Spencer you didn’t think you’d ever seen him shirtless before. He was always conservative, insecure about how skinny he was. But in that moment he didn’t have time to worry about his insecurities, all he wanted was you and that was all that mattered.

He discarded the items of clothing, pulling the blanket tighter around his shoulders. Your eyes raked up and down his torso and soon your fingers followed suit, running over his flesh. He hissed again, telling you he liked it.

“W-what about you?” you swallowed nervously.

“What about me?” you smirked. You knew what he meant but you wanted to hear him say it.

“Y-you uh...can I...your dress?” he was blushing again and it was so adorable.

“Spencer, you can do whatever you like to me.” your voice was dripping with seduction and it made his cock twitch achingly. Oh how he’d dreamed of this moment.

His hands were shaking as he reached for the bottom of your dress. He was slow to raise the fabric, making sure you weren’t going to change your mind.

He inched it up your thighs and paused when he got it to your hips. The black pair of lace panties you wore underneath made his head spin.

“Oh gosh.” he panted a little as he spoke.

You smiled, arching your back so he could continue undressing you. Inch by inch the fabric got higher and higher, revealing more of your body.

Once you had discarded the dress, Spencer sat back again to take you all in. Your panties had a matching bra, cupping your breasts magnificently.

“Do you like what you see, Spence?”

“Are you kidding?” He smiled. “You are perfection Y/N.”

You raked your nails down his chest once more and came to a stop at the waistband of his trousers. You toyed with the button a little.

“Can I?” You whispered.

He chewed his lip and nodded.

You unbuttoned his trousers and tugged them over his hips. He wriggled out of them and tossed them in a pile with the rest of the clothes.

His cock was straining at the front of his boxers, begging to be freed.

You allowed yourself to palm him through his underwear. His head fell back and he moaned deeply.

“Oh gosh.” He panted. “I’m sorry, no ones ever touched me like this before.”

You smiled to yourself, loving that no other woman had been here before. But you could also tell if you were to touch him properly, he wouldn’t last to the main event.

You moved your hand to his wrist and guided his hand between your legs instead.

You panties were soaked already.

He looked at you with large, uncertain eyes, but you nodded in encouragement.

“Please Spencer?”

He swallowed.

“What if I’m no good.” He whined a little.

“It’s ok baby,” you cooed. “You could never make me feel anything other than amazing.”

You let go of his wrist and his fingers shakily played with the lace fabric.

He took a few deep breaths before he moved the fabric aside enough so he could get to your heat.

He was so cautious with his movements, trying to ensure he was doing everything right.

He’d read books. He’d watched porn. But he’d never had the real thing.

He started slow, circling your clit with his fingertip in gentle movements. It was enough to make several moans leave your parted lips and he took that as a good sign.

You pulled him down by his neck so you could kiss him again and his confidence built a little, moving his fingers faster between your legs.

“Oh god Spence,” you mumbled into his lips. “That feels so good baby.”

Spencer felt a swell of pride that he was able to make you feel good, but he wanted more, needed more.

“Y/N,” he panted. “C-can I...can we…”

“Yes Spence. God yes.” You kissed him again and he reluctantly removed his hand from between your legs.

You arched your back and unhooked your bra.

His mouth fell open at the sight of your breasts and he moaned viscerally.

You smiled, taking hold of both of his wrists now and placing his large hands on your breasts.

“F-fuck.” He moaned feeling you beneath his hands. “Jeez Y/N.”

You laughed, now working on sliding your panties down your legs.

Spencer gave your breasts a small squeeze, tweaking your nipples a little between his fingers.

You moved your hands to his hips and cautiously slid his boxers down his hips. You couldn’t stop the small moan that left your lips as you freed his erect member.

“Fuck Spence,” you groaned eyeing him up.

He removed his hands from your breasts so he could shimmy his boxers off.

He laid back down on top of you, his cock nestling between your legs. He kissed you softly, stroking back your hair.

“Y/N, I need to tell you something before w-we...you know…”

“You can tell me anything.” you encouraged him.

“Y/N, I have been in l-love with you for as long as I can remember. I need you t-to know that. I need you to know h-how inconceivably in love with you I am.”

You felt tears spring to your eyes at his words. You pulled him close for another kiss.

“Spencer, I love you too baby.” you whispered, making him sigh in relief.

“I have waited so long to hear you say that.”

“You should have asked.” You smirked, kissing him again. “Are you ready baby?”

He nodded with a deep breath. You wrapped your legs around his waist and he kept his eyes firmly on yours he slowly pushed his way inside of you.

His eyes widened and his jaw fell slack. Nothing in the world could have prepared him for the way you felt. Honestly, he almost came as soon as your tight heat was sheathed around him.

He pushed all the way inside you, filling you up beautifully. He paused to take a few steadying breaths.

“Are you ok?” You traced your finger along his bottom lip.

“Yeah,” he panted. “I just need a minute. I don’t want to uh…f-finish too soon.” He blushed.

“Take your time Spence.” You smiled lovingly at him.

He took a few more breaths and captured your lips in a kiss before he started moving slowly.

He was careful in his movements, slow and gentle as though you were made of glass.

He withdrew almost all the way, before slowly plunging back inside you.

His eyes rolled back in his head and the two of you moaned together under the starry sky.

“Jesus Y/N.” He gasped. “This f-feels so...so…”

“I know Spence,” you kissed him harder, messily exploring his mouth, your hands roaming his body and he moved in and out of you.

“I’m r-really not g-gonna…l-last long.” He spoke into your lips.

“Touch me again Spence. I want to come with you.”

He exhaled, moving his hand between your bodies and his fingers started circling your clit once more as he continued his slow thrusts.

The feeling of being inside you was otherworldly. Spencer had never dreamed in a million years it would feel this magical.

He wanted it to last forever. He never wanted this end. If he could feel one thing for the rest of his life he wanted it to be you wrapped around his dick.

He was getting closer and closer to the edge but now his fingers were working deftly on you, so you were you.

You found it hard to believe he’d never done this before because he was amazing at it. He seemed to know just what to do to bring you to your orgasm.

“I’m s-sorry Y/N…I can’t...I’m g-gonna…”

“Me too Spence.”

Hearing you moan his name was all he could take and with one last thrust, Spencer came, filling you with his load.

You came too, clenching around his spasming cock.

He fell on top of you, panting and moaning into your neck.

You wrapped him in your arms and kissed his messy hair.

“God damn Spencer,” you panted. “That was incredible.”

“R-really?” He lifted his head so he could look at you.

“Absolutely.” You held his face and kissed him gently. “I love you Spencer.”

“I love you too Y/N. So much.”

“Shall we go to bed?”

“Five more minutes under the stars?” He asked to which you nodded.

He gently pulled out of you and rolled onto his back on the blanket. You curled into him, resting your head on his chest.

He wrapped one arm around you and held your hand tightly.

“Beautiful isn’t it?” You sighed sleepily, looking up at the night sky.

“Not half as beautiful as you Y/N.”

***

It didn’t take long at all for you both to fall asleep like that. Thankfully you woke up before your parents and managed to sneak back into your tent before they found you.

Your dad would have a coronary if he found the two of you like that.

The drive back was long, it seemed longer than on the way. Maybe because you knew your time together was coming to an end.

Tomorrow Spencer would be leaving for DC and who knows when you would next see each other again.

At least you had your night together under the stars.

You were both exhausted when you arrived home so retired to your own homes to rest, Spencer promising to come and see you before he left the following morning.

Your night together had been magical, but the air between you was now stifled. It was what Spencer feared most. Giving into his urges had probably ruined your friendship.

And now he was leaving and didn’t have time to make it up to you.

As promised he showed up at your front door the following morning, his car already packed up.

You stepped out onto the porch and closed the front door behind you.

“I can’t believe you’re really leaving.” you wrapped your arms around your body as though shielding yourself from the pain that was going to be caused.

“I know, me either. I never imagined leaving Vegas, not permanently anyway.” he shrugged sadly.

“Don’t forget about me when you’re a hot shot in the FBI, Agent Reid.” you gave him a half smile.

“You and I both know it’s Doctor Reid.” he tried to laugh but it came out as more of a sigh. “Look Y/N, I need to know. After what happened the other night…”

“Spence-”

“Where do we stand Y/N?” he cut you off. “What...what are we?”

You sighed heavily and tried to smile even though your heart was breaking.

“We’re best friends, Spence.” you shrugged. “Always.”

“Best friends.” he muttered sadly. “That’s what I thought.”

“Spencer, we’re moving to different parts of the country, I’m not sure exactly what you thought that night was.”

No, neither am I.

“What was it to you?” he said instead.

“I guess...it was a perfect way to say goodbye.”

Spencer couldn’t keep his resolve any longer and his tears broke free, falling down his cheeks.

“Of course. Goodbye.” he whispered.

“Spence, please don’t cry.” you reached for him but he stepped out of your touch.

“I need to uh...g-get going. It’s a long drive to Quantico.” he rubbed the palms of his hands heavily over his eyes.

“Spence,”

“Really, I n-need to go.” he turned away from you and jogged down the front steps of your house and down the path.

“Spencer, please don’t leave like this.” you called after him, dangerously close to tears yourself.

“Goodbye Y/N.” he turned back to you when he reached the front gate. “I’ll always love you.” he sniffed but before you could say anything more, he was gone.

He ran to his car and seconds later he was inside and you were watching him pull away.

You fell to the ground on the porch and you sobbed. What else could you possibly do? You’d lost your best friend and the love of your life in one fell swoop.

All because of one stupid night under the stars.

Ask the stars up in the sky,

Ask the stars they’ll tell you why.

Stars know ev’ry little thing you do,

There’s a little star that’s watching you.

Ask the stars when you’re with me,

Ask the stars then watch and see.

***

Quantico, Virginia - 2020

Seventeen years seem to pass almost in the blink of an eye. One day Spencer was walking into the BAU for the first time and seemingly the next he was almost forty with a lifetime of trauma behind him.

He thought about you every single day for the longest time. He wondered what you were doing with your life. Were you happy? Had you met someone and got married? Had kids?

Honestly he probably still thought about you every day of his life until he met Maeve.

Maeve was a wonderful reprieve from thoughts of you, and for the first time in almost ten years you hadn’t been the first thought on his mind when he woke in the morning.

But he’d never loved her the way he loved you. It was probably for the best that he and Maeve never got to be together properly because it would have inevitably ended when he couldn’t give her his whole heart.

No, he’d left a piece of that in Vegas years ago.

After Maeve he thought about you from time to time but not everyday like he once had. When he was incarcerated he thought about you a lot. He wondered what you think of him if you could see him sitting in that cell, becoming a man he didn’t recognise. Surely you wouldn’t recognise him either.

Then he met Max and once again he thought maybe, just maybe he would finally be able to give his heart to someone else. But his hopes were dashed. They dated for a few months but she always knew there was someone else. Someone else occupied his mind and his heart and it wasn’t fair on Max to stay with her in the hopes that one day he might be able to love her like he loved you.

You hadn’t fared much better in the love department.

You met a man in college and the two of you married at the tender age of twenty one. You knew you were over compensating. You knew this wasn’t the man you were supposed to be with. But he helped take your mind off your lost love and you were sure in time you would stop thinking about Spencer all together.

But of course you didn’t.

The marriage lasted three years and you were divorced soon after your twenty fourth birthday. There had been other men over the years, but none lasted very long.

They scratched an itch. They filled a void in your life that had existed since Spencer walked out. But inevitably you couldn’t commit so each one ended quicker than the last.

You stayed in Vegas all those years, maybe hoping one day Spencer would come back to you, but of course that had been foolish. Spencer was off living his own life, he probably hadn’t given you a second thought in years.

And then, at the age of thirty five, the job offer came that changed everything.

***

“It’s so quiet around here.” Luke mused as he and Spencer walked through the bullpen.

“Yeah I know what you mean. How is Garcia getting on at her new job?”

“She’s enjoying it but she misses the BAU.”

“Tell her we miss her too. Isn’t her replacement meant to be starting today?”

“She is and she’s settling into her new office.” Emily’s voice caught Spencer and Luke’s attention.

“I guess we should go and introduce ourselves.” Luke shrugged.

“Sure,” Spencer shrugged too and the two of them made their way out of the bullpen towards Garcia’s old office.

“I bet it’s going to be so drab.” Luke laughed.

“No more unicorn mugs or fluffy pens.” Spencer agreed.

“Penelope is one of a kind.”

“Undoubtedly.” Spencer swiped his card on the door and pushed the door handle before stepping into the office, Luke just behind him.

“You must be our new technical analyst.” Luke spoke as the door closed behind the two agents.

The woman sat in Garcia’s old chair tapping on the keys turned in the chair to face them.

She seemed to move in slow motion.

“I’m SSA Luke Alvez and this is Doctor-”

“Spencer Reid.” she cut him off, the words falling from her lips.

“Y/N Y/L/N.” Spencer croaked, glaring at the woman in front of him as if he’d seen a ghost.

Luke frowned looking between the two of them who seemed to have forgotten his presence.

Spencer and Y/N stared at each other without saying a word. Spencer’s chest tightened, constricting his breathing. Was he having a heart attack? Was this how he was going to die?

“You uh, know each other?” Luke spoke up.

“Uh...did know each other.” you croaked not tearing your eyes away from Spencer.

“A long time ago.” Spencer added, not looking away from you either.

Sensing the tension in the room, Luke backed up towards the door.

“Maybe I should let the two of you get reacquainted.” he said but neither of you acknowledged him.

He pushed his way back into the hall just as JJ was heading his way.

“Hey, I was just coming to meet the new tech analyst.” she smiled at him.

“I would give it a minute.” Luke told her, making her frown.

“Why?”

“There’s a lot of unfinished business in that room, trust me.” he put his arm around her shoulders to lead her away from the door.

“Spencer and the new Garcia?”

“Yeah.” Luke sighed. “If my profiling skills are accurate, I would say they were in love once. Probably still are.”

Back inside Garcia’s old office, you and Spencer were still staring at each other.

“I had no idea you still worked here, I swear. I wouldn’t have taken the job if I’d known.” you chewed your lip awkwardly.

“You look different.” he spoke as though ignoring what you’d said.

“Well yes, it has been a long time Spencer.”

“Seventeen years, three months and fifteen days.”

“Precisely.” you frowned at his recall. “I’m not eighteen anymore.”

“No and I’m not twenty two.” he sighed and ran his fingers through his hair.

It was longer now, curlier and messier. He sported stubble on his cheeks and dark circles under his eyes. He’d gained weight, somehow gotten even taller you were sure.

He was most certainly not the twenty two year old Spencer Reid you had spent a night with under the stars.

“You look different too. Good different.” you told him.

“A lifetime of trauma will probably do that.” he nodded stiffly.

“Spencer? Strange question for you…”

“Yeah?”

“Did you uhm...did you ever tell Penelope about...that night.” you felt yourself blushing.

Spencer closed his eyes for a moment with a sigh.

He hadn’t been this drunk in a really long time. Maybe ever. Spencer never had been a big drinker. But they’d had a tough case and Garcia had suggested they all spend the evening at her apartment drinking.

Spencer couldn’t recall who exactly had suggested the drinking games, possibly Kate, but they had been Spencer’s downfall.

“You never did answer the question,” Garica helped Spencer into his jacket after everyone else had left.

“What question?” he slurred, narrowing his eyes on her.

“During truth or dare Morgan asked you how you lost your virginity. You didn’t answer.”

He swallowed, stumbling over his feet a little.

“I uh…” he sighed. “It was with my best friend. On a camping trip under the stars.”

“How romantic!” Garcia swooned.

“Hmm not really. It doesn’t have a happy ending.”

“I don’t remember,” he opened his eyes. “Why?”

“I met her a few times before she left, she was training me up while you guys were away on cases. She told me about the team and that’s when I figured out you still worked here, but I’d already accepted the job by then. Anyway I told her I used to know you, that we were best friends. I didn’t really think much of it until I found this today.” you fished in your pocket and pulled out a brightly coloured post it note. “It was slotted between the desks. I recognise her handwriting.”

You handed the small folded up note to Spencer who took it and unfolded it. In Garcia’s signature handwriting, it read, “You’re in love, just ask the stars.”

“Ok so maybe I did tell her about my best friend who I lost my virginity to under the stars.” he confessed.

“Ah then the note makes sense.” you took it back from him and slid it back into your pocket.

“Yeah.”

Silence followed, heavy, palpable silence.

He thought maybe after all this time he didn’t feel as strongly about you as he used to. But looking into your beautiful eyes, all those feelings came flooding back to him. He didn’t have a shadow of a doubt that he was still in love with you.

The question was, did you still feel the same?

As if reading his mind you stepped a little closer to Spencer, cautiously at first but when he didn’t shy away you came even closer.

You took hold of his tie and played with it between your fingers.

“I know what you’re thinking Spence,” you smiled coyly. “I always know what you’re thinking.”

“You should have been a profiler.” He smiled softly, making you laugh.

“I’ve said it once, Spence and I’ll say it again. If you want to know if I’m still in love with you...all you have to do, is ask.”

When they twinkle, twinkle,

Wedding bells will tinkle, tinkle.

You’re in love, just ask the stars.

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[forever-rogue]

Alright alright ty for responding! I’m super hyped abt this one hehe but here I go:

This is for Frankie Morales, who I love so freaking much ☺️

Okay okay here: A high school reunion where Frankie and Reader meet again after 10 years.

They had such a huge crush on one another and reader was ‘popular’ while Frankie was just shy/nerdy. Maybe they dated but had to separate while they were in college because of the distance but they still have feelings after all these years?

Also reader has learned that Frankie has a kid but didn’t know that his wife divorced him so she’s kind of upset until Frankie tells her (assuming she runs off or something?).

Eventually they start again in their relationship and it’s a fluffy and cute!

I love angst and fluff so since you like writing about those I thought you would be a great person to ask hehe. Anyways I love your works so much and thanks in advance if you write this! ❤️✨

A/N: this is literally just a ton of softness, enjoy! 💕

Pairing: Frankie Morales x Fem!Reader

Word Count: 2k

Warnings: none

FRANKIE MASTERLIST

MASTERLIST

»»————-　♡　————-««

You could hardly believe your eyes as you scanned the room and found the one person you hadn’t been expecting to see. Out of all the people in the world, there was Frankie Morales, across the crowded ballroom, mingling with a few other of your old classmates. It had been two whole decades since you’d last seen him; two decades since you’d last kissed him, last told him you loved him, last held him. Back then you had been positive that you wouldn’t see the last of him. 

You knew he’d gone into the military after high school, greatly deviating from your plans of college, and ultimately causing your break up. You’d never heard a word from him or seen so much as a glimpse of him since the day of your graduation. At first you had been hopeful that you’d see him again sometime at some point, but the time had never come. That had led you to believe that he wouldn’t even be coming here tonight, to your class reunion. You could just picture him saying something along the lines of ‘why? what a silly waste of time!’ Unbeknownst to you, he hadn’t actually planned on coming - not until he’d gotten word through the grapevine that you’d be there. 

The sight of him was enough to take your breath away; he still looked exactly the same after all this time, just older, hardened, and world weary. Much like yourself and everyone else here, you supposed. But when his soft, chocolate eyes met yours, you couldn’t help but grin at him, the corners of your mouth tugging upwards without a second thought. Turning to the group of women you were chatting with, you offered them a half hearted excuse and made your way over to teenage love. Frankie didn’t hesitate to do the same.

Meeting halfway in the middle, you almost crashed into each other, your body practically humming with excited nervous energy as you stared at Frankie - your Frankie. He smiled that same smile you’d fallen in love with all those years ago, his magnificent dimple making its appearance. 

“Frankie-”

“Honey Bee-”

“I can’t believe you’re here,” you both said excitedly, before breaking into a fit of giggles. At least you were on the same page about this one. Part of you had always wondered, even if just a small, tiny part of you, whether he held any disdain or dislike for you after you ended your relationship. It had been hard at the time, you were both lovestruck young fools, but you both knew at the time, even if only deep down, that it was the right thing to do. Maybe it had all happened the way it did for a reason. 

“Do you want to go outside? To the gardens?” he asked softly as you nodded in response. Without a moment of hesitation, he reached for your hand, clutching it tightly, but gently, in his much larger one, lacing your finger together without a second thought. Trailing behind his long strides, you couldn’t help but admire his frame; tall and broad, with just the right amount of softness that somehow remained firm. He’d gone from a good looking teenager to a handsome man. 

Once you were away from all the commotion and outside in the cool evening air in the gardens decorated with lightly twinkling lanterns, he paused and turned to study you. A look of pure adoration was etched into his eyes as his hands found either side of your face and he gently traced over your features. 

“You are just as beautiful today as you always have been,” he beamed at you, “my sweetest Bee. After all these years, I get to see you again.”

“Francisco…”

“May I kiss you?” as soon as his name fell so softly from your lips, he couldn’t help him. It was like he was eighteen again, and falling over, so easily, so effortlessly. You watched with wide, doe eyes, the most innocent expression on your face as you nodded before biting on your lip.

Before either of you could think too much about it, he crashed his lips onto yours and kissed you with a fervent, but gentle intensity. It was like no time had passed and neither of you had to think about it; it all worked so easily. Just like it had always been meant to be.

When you finally, reluctantly, pulled apart, you grinned at each other like fools. You couldn’t help but steal a few more kisses from him. “Frankie...I never thought I’d see you again. I can’t believe you’re here.”

“I wasn’t planning on coming,” he admitted sheepishly, looking down at his feet for a moment, “but I heard you were going to be here, and I had to come.”

“For me?” a flush rose into his cheeks as you beamed at him and offered up a shy nod.

“Of course,” he confessed, “why else? I always hoped I’d see you again one day...I never stopped thinking about you. How horribly cliche is that?”

“Well, even if it is, then I suppose that makes the two of us fools,” putting your hand on his cheek, you traced your thumb over his features, “you’d always cross my mind...a lot. Probably more than I should have…”

“Somethings never change, huh?” he laughed light as he led over to an empty bench surrounded by beautiful evening blossoms. You sat next time, watching with nervous intensity as he held your hand in his, “how’ve you been, Bee? Really? Tell me everything.”

“Only if you promise to do the same.”

“Always.”

»»————-　♡　————-««

And it was easy to talk to him; just like it always had been. In some ways, it was like no time had passed at all. With him you never had to think about what to say, or worry about him passing judgment or anything. It just was...and it was a beautiful thing. An odd longing feeling settled into your stomach the more you listened to him, leaning in closer and closer until you were almost in his lap. In some ways you wondered if it had always been him. Like you were both here again for a reason. You liked the idea that everything happened as it was meant to, as the universe willed it. 

“But then my wife…” as soon as the words hit your ears, you tilted your head to the side and gave him a confused expression. Wife, wife, wife. Holy shit.

Springing to your feet, your mind was reeling as you imagined all the ways in which you had fucked up, but Frankie was fast on his feet and was still right behind you, calling your name as he tried to catch up, reaching for your hand. Of all the things you had imagined, this wasn’t one of them. Eventually you stopped and turned to face with a wide eyed expression, “what do you mean wife? Frankie, I-I still have a lot of the same feelings I always did, but if you have a wife-”

“Bee, please no,” he shook his head fervently, trying to get you to calm down and calm his own racing heart, “no, no, no, I shouldn’t have said it like that - old habits die hard. I meant ex-wife. We’ve been…we’re divorced, and have been for over a year.”

As if to prove his point, he held up his left hand and showed you that he wasn’t wearing a wedding band. His own eyes flitted awkwardly to our own hand, almost as if to check that you weren’t someone else’s either. Instantly you felt foolish and silly, knowing it had been foolish to explode like that. You should have known better; Frankie would never lie to you, “I-I’m an idiot. I’m so sorry, Frankie. I just...I couldn’t handle the thought of you...well doing anything with someone’s married, or you being married to someone still. Needless to say, my own marriage didn’t end well; he cheated on me with multiple women.”

“I would never put you in that position,” he promised softly, “and I would never do that to anyone. Especially not to you, Honey Bee. If...if you’ll have me, however you want, I promise you I will never lie to you. I never have and never will.”

“Promise?” you looked at him with glossy eyes as your lip trembled, but he just nodded and reached for your hand, pulling you closer to him, “Francisco…”

“Of course,” he replied softly, “so full disclosure - I’m a divorced, single dad - very proud dad of the sassiest and sweetest little girl that is my world. I know that’s a lot, on top of everything else I’ve told you, but that’s...that’s what it is. Who I am. I guess it’s probably not what you were expecting...probably a let down.”

“No,” you promised him quickly, with a big, wide grin, “it’s wonderful. You’re wonderful, Frankie. None of those things are a letdown; you’re perfect. We’ve all got our issues - I’m a divorced, single dog mom that’s considered a failure by so many people because I went to college and ended up doing something completely different, and now run a small coffee shop. It’s not exactly lucrative, but I love it.”

“You always wanted a coffee shop,” he remembered; you’d told him about it more times than you could remember when you were just kids, “your dream came true!”

“It’s even better now,” you insisted softly, “because I’m here - with you. I think...I think it’s the only thing I’ve ever really wanted. Seeing you again, after all this time...it’s still you, Frankie.”

“After all this time?”

“Always.”

“Good,” he beamed at you, “I’m glad the feeling’s mutual. Honey Bee...may I kiss you again?”

“Mhmm.”

“And again and again and again?” you laughed at his playfulness, but underneath it all, you could see there was a serious side to all of this. He was looking at you like you had hung all the stars in the glittering night sky, “if you’ll still have me?”

“Always.”

»»————-　♡　————-««

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[figuringouthowtobehere]

to people with access to high-level education

if you went to/are in college, if you went to/are in university, if you went to/are in any form of high-level educational institution, including taking college/uni courses:

you have an incredible privilege. you are likely unaware of the ways your high-level education has impacted the ways you think about yourself, others, concepts, and opinions. you are likely unaware of how you come off to people less ‘educated’ than you. you likely think that education and ‘educational’ institutions can never be separated. you likely abuse this privilege on a daily basis, and aren’t aware of it; and you likely don’t care to listen when called out. every person i have ever met - except one person who has been doing and is doing a shit ton of work so as to not abuse their privilege - who has had any form of high-level education abuses the privilege the have in having access to high-level education. every person i have ever met who’s had any form of access to high-level education is obnoxious about their opinions, uses inaccessible language, makes their opinions inaccessible and incomprehensible to anyone and everyone without the same level of knowledge about that subject, does not listen when anyone without that same level of knowledge on that subject presents even a slightly opposing opinion, perspective, or experience, AND cannot hear it when anyone - but especially less ‘educated’ people - try to call them out on their behaviour and how privileged, stagnant, reductive, ableist, and colonial their behaviour has been. 

i have called out many people who’ve had access to high-level education on how their behaviour while ‘engaging’ with me as a ‘less-educated’ person (i dropped out of high school when i was 16, i have a grade 9 education and i will likely never return to any form of formal education) was/is demeaning, ableist, reductive, condescending and/or just Awful - i am usually met with insults, yelling, being called a retard (i am Autistic so that one has particularly stung), being told im wrong and i have no place to even discuss x unless ive gotten a bachelors in that subject (which i am literally unable to do for a variety of reasons) - usually the subject is film which ive been studying for quite a while and, in the majority of these discussions, am more knowledgeable than the other person is about actual film crap (idk everything tho and am always quick to say that) - and being ‘one-upped’ with inaccessible language and irrefutable arguments that are only irrefutable because i dont have access to the studies, textbooks, lectures, language, history, discussions, etc that they do. 

if you have/have had access to any form of high-level education:

you are privileged. it is your job, especially if you were recently in uni/college of any sort or are currently in uni/college of any sort, to use the access that you have for good. find ways to make your knowledge accessible to cognitively impaired people, people who are HoH or d/Deaf, poor people, PoCs who have faced violence through education systems, neurodivergent people (autistics, adhders, people with tourette’s, i could go on) who understand the world in ways that theyre made to feel bad or ‘less’ about or that there’s usually no space for them to learn in formal education systems, people who had to drop out of school, people who dont speak english or are learning it as a second language, pretty much EVERYONE who has any interest in whatever youve studied/are studying - your job as someone in uni or college is to do what you can to make your access accessible to the people who the state has deemed unworthy of it for whatever reason. it is your job to bring into your mind and your life and the way you engage with knowledge the Fact that knowledge ≠ bachelors degrees, phds, mds, textbooks, lectures, academia, etc; that there are many different forms of knowledge and each and every one of them is valid, beautiful, important, and worthy of attention. it is your job to listen to people like me, people who do not/will not have that access when we tell you you’re being condescending, or patronizing, or whatever, due to your access and then work to be better. because you can. you can be better. you can do better. you have power. you dont just have privilege, in your access, but you have Power. in pretty much every situation, if both you and i are in a group discussion, the other people in that discussion are pretty much guaranteed to listen to you vs me about anything and everything - given that they know you were/are in higher education and i didnt graduate secondary school - they’re gonna listen to more of what you say and brush me off. it’s likely they wont even be doing this consciously, that its just how theyve become wired to engage with that situation, but they will be doing it. it is your job to make space for the opinions, ideas, experiences, and knowledge of people who dont have access to your ‘education’, because its very likely that nobody else is. but when you, someone who’s had access to a bachelors degree program, or took a few college courses in clinical psychology, or whatever, when you say ‘wait, listen to them, they have knowledge too and its not more important than mine’ people are gonna fucking listen. 

be better. im tired of being brushed off. my knowledge is just as important, valid, and useful as someone with four phds and an md, or whatever the fuck.

be better.