The yawn stretched Lena’s jaw to the point that she felt like a cat, baring her fangs. Naturally, it prompted a Kara Danvers Pout, which was utterly devastating. Kara looked at her over the top of her drink cup, straw still pursed in her delicate pink lips as she frowned slightly.
“How long have you been awake?”
“I had a half hour nap this morning,” Lena sighed.
She’d been in the office for three days, but she didn’t admit that.
“Leeeenaaaaaaa,” Kara said, drawing her name out into a gentle rebuke. “You promised me you’d stop doing that to yourself. I’m taking you home.”
Lena’s heart skipped and Kara abruptly jerked upright, briefly glancing at her. Lena hated when that happened, when her body betrayed her. Kara meant escort her home; Lena’s thoroughly tired mind had supplied another scenario, one where Kara carried her onto the bed, relieved her of her clothes and dove between her legs, but that was never going to happen. Lena let out a long sigh of resignation, trying to be satisfied with best-friendship.
She hoped Kara hadn’t suddenly developed telepathy.
If you took me home I’d never leave. I could make love to you for a hundred years.
Kara smiled back at Lena’s wistful look. “I mean it.”
“Okay. I can come back to it tomorrow. Besides, I’m too full of grease and cheese to stay awake. Should we…”
Lena never finished her sentence. There was a crackle in the air, a sudden wet smell of ozone, and the thunderous boom that made her ears ring.
Kara flashed in front of her at super-speed, yanking off her glasses and tossing them on the couch in a smooth motion.
Hovering in the middle of her office was some ramshackle contraption resembling a mechanical eye about the size of a basketball that scanned Kara with a faint purple energy ray.
“Kara Danvers. Supergirl. I am Zeglos, Regent of the Alotian Republic. I am calling to you from the home of my people, located in what is to you a subatomic realm we call Universe Q. We need your help, you are our only hope. The invaders are slaughtering us and razing our home. There is no time.”
Kara glanced back at Lena. “I’ll help if I can. Let me-“
“There is no time. You must come with me now.”
“Wait, hold on a second-“
The machine flashed, thrumming as it powered up, and blasted here with a wave of light that surrounded them both, and then in a crackling boom they both vanished, leaving behind the ozone smell and a faint impression of Kara’s boot heels in the carpet.
Lena stared into the empty space for a moment, then shot to her feet, snatching the phone off her desk, where it had lain ignored since Kara walked into the room.
She called Alex, shocked at the blubbering panic in her own voice. Within a few minutes, everyone was there, piling into the room. Lena warded them off from the spot where Kara had stood. Alex was cold and calm, her voice clinical, and she immediately began issuing orders. J’onn took Lena aside and gently asked her probing questions in the manner of an old detective, coaxing every meager detail of the event out of her.
Within half an hour, Brainy and Lena had set up all sorts of equipment around the room, scanning, hoping to find some energy signature or other clue that could enable them to bring Kara back from wherever she’d been taken.
It proved fruitless. They tried everything.
Minutes stretched into hours. Lena was exhausted, heavy with fatigue.
“Go home, get some sleep,” said Alex. “We can’t help her if we pass out on the floor.”
“I’ll sleep here.”
She did, throwing a thin blanket over herself on the couch. It was Alex, not Lena, who cleaned up the Big Belly Burger mess. Lena slept fitfully, showered in the en-suite attached to her office, and changed into an old hoodie that she kept there and wore when no one was looking.
It wasn’t hers. Threadbare, a maroon color faded to a soft red, the back still emblazoned with a cracked and fading Midvale Mathletes Club logo, it was Kara’s. Lena had snatched it from Kara’s sofa and put it on one night when she was feeling bold and then, as now, felt surrounded by it, the oversized garment swaddling her.
And it smelled like Kara, just enough. Kara had stared at her intently for a moment when she took it that night but said nothing, a wistful sad look on her face before the moment was broken by Wynn’s bad joke at the table. Wynn was gone now, but the hoodie remained, just as it had remained when they were fighting, when she thought she’d never see Kara again. She’d worn it then and cried herself to sleep in it.
Just like now.
A day became two. Then three. Five. Lena tried everything, pursued every theory. They called in every favor, human and alien. Brainy tried to send messages to the future. Nia dreamed fruitless dreams. Alex paced like a caged animal and Kelly kept the peace, keeping them all fed, making sure everyone slept, talking things out whenever tempers flared.
Nothing worked.
Lena even tried praying, something she hadn’t done since the last time she was in a small church in Ireland. It didn’t work this time, either.
Lena was seated next to Brainy on the couch, going over a design for a new device to try to follow what was by now a thoroughly cold trail. Alex stood at the balcony door, staring out into a slashing summer rain squall that buffeted the glass with distant thunder and gusts of wind.
The ozone smell tickled Lena’s nose and she looked up, just as Kara took a stumbling step out of nowhere, appearing in her office with an utterly bewildered look on her face.
“Kara?”
Alex snapped round, adding her voice to the chorus. “Kara?”
Kara stared at her sister, open-mouthed, tears welling in her eyes.
“Alex?” she said. “Alex, you’re alive? How is that possible?”
“Alive? Why wouldn’t I be?”
“Kara!” Lena cried, her voice ragged in her throat.
At the sound of her voice, Kara snapped around, eyes wide. Her knees buckled and she sagged, almost falling. She stumbled forward as Lena stood and they fell into each other, Lena hurling herself, reckless, into an embrace that revealed too much. She almost climbed Kara, all but throwing her legs around her as well as her arms as she buried her face in the Kryptonian’s neck.
“Oh God. Oh Rao. I thought you would all be gone. I begged them to let me leave but they wouldn’t let me go, I had to…”
“Kara?” Alex asked, cautiously. “Why would we be gone?”
Kara barely seemed to hear her as she gently twined her fingers in Lena’s hair and wrapped her powerful arm around Lena’s waist, encircling and shielding her.
“How long has it been?”
“About a week,” Lena choked out. “I was so scared.”
“A week?” Kara blurted. “It’s only been a week here?”
Alex put a reassuring hand on Kara’s back, standing next to them. “Yeah, you were taken on Tuesday, kiddo. It’s Wednesday, the 17th.”
Kara stared past Lena, resting her chin on the shorter woman’s head, and began to sob with relief.
“Kara?” said Alex.
“Time dilation,” said Brainy.
“They told me time would pass slower up here but I didn’t believe them. I’ve been gone for… for…”
“It’s okay, Kara,” Lena whispered. “You’re okay, you’re back.”
“Eighty seven years, four months, and eighteen days,” Kara sobbed. “It’s been so long, I thought you were all dead.”
Alex stiffened. “Kara. Oh my God.”
Kara buried her face in Lena’s hair and breathed her in, shuddering. “I’d given up. All that kept me going was hoping I could see you again. This is a gift. A gift. I love you all so much.”
Kara still held her, rocking slightly, her big shoulders shaking with powerful sobs.
“Kara,” Lena whispered. “Kara, it’s okay.”
“I love you,” Kara blurted. “I love you. It’s okay if you don’t love me back, I just need to tell you, I have to tell you. All I could think about down there is how stupid I was and how stupid I’ve been and how none of the reasons I never told you made any sense,” she sucked in a breath as if she’d briefly forgotten how, “I love you, I love you, I love you.”
There could be no mistaking her intent. She seethed with it, it radiated from her very bones. Lena hugged her hard, crushing her with all her might as if to crawl inside her.
“God, Kara, I’ve dreamed of hearing you say that. I love you too. Let’s… mmmph!”
Kara was kissing her. Lena’s brain briefly froze, then she realized the full magnitude of what was happening. Kara was kissing her. Kara was kissing her. Then Lena was kissing her back. There was so much in it, need and lust and adoration and an unbelievable desperation, but above all love. Lena felt her heart open as if hadn’t in a long time, like a flower unfolding to receive the nurturing warmth of morning sun.
“I’ve been waiting for this for so long,” Kara whispered when they finally broke and Lena again could breathe.
“Let me take you home,” said Lena.
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“Lena, you’re coming with us.”
She looked up sharply as Alex stormed into her office, followed by a dozen DEO goons and a flustered, apologetic Jess as she flipped rapidly between apologizing to Lena for permitting the intrusion and shouting at Alex to get out, only to be ignored.
“Jess, it’s fine,” Lena said, calmly, though her heart was racing. “I’ll hear what they have to say.”
“Cover the entrances,” Alex told her men.
Even when balaclavas over their faces and goggles, Lena could sense their unease. The one who was unmasked -Lena vaguely remembered she was named Vazquez- gave Alex a plaintive, pained look before stepping out. The doors hissed shut behind them, and Alex was alone with her.
“We don’t have time for you to be argumentative.”
“What horrific crime did I commit this time?
“I’m not accusing you of anything. I’m taking you into protective custody.”
Lena put down her phone.
“What?”
Alex produced a tablet from the bag on her thigh and stormed over, hitting play on a video.
It was Lex. Lena’s stomach dropped.
“Hello, Director Danvers,” said Lex. “I hope this message finds you well, because none of you are going to be well much longer.”
A thought hit Lena like a freight train: If I’m in danger, where’s Kara? Even now Kara would drop everything, risk everything, to keep her from harm.
Lex opened a velvet box and drew out a small device. Lena recognized it and felt her gorge rising. It was another disperser, but something was wrong. The crystal within glowed a deep, scintillating red, like a hot coal drawn from a fire.
“Remember this?” said Lex. “You and the rest of this world are about to learn what happens when you trust an alien.”
“What the fuck?” Lena blurted. “He can’t be alive.”
Alex shook her head.
Lex slammed his fist down, and Alex turned it off.
“Well worry about your brother later. He spread red kryptonite into the atmosphere. We can’t find Kara and she’s not responding to our hails. We have to take anyone she might come after into secure custody where she can’t sense you and we have to go now.”
“But…”
���This shit drives her insane,” Alex snapped, seizing Lena’s shoulders. “The last time she was exposed she threw Cat Grant off a building. She almost killed me. ME, Lena.”
A cold flush ran down her limbs, as if she’d been thrown into the cold sea, and panic surged from deep down inside. The last time Lena had seen Kara it had been through Kryptonite-frosted crystal before she abandoned her in the fortress of solitude.
“Part of me wants to leave you here and let you get what you deserve,” Alex said, coldly, “but we are going to fix her and when we do she’d never forgive me for letting you get hurt. Even now she won’t let go of her feelings for you. She keeps talking about saving you.”
Lena swallowed hard. “Her what?”
“Lena, get up. For once in your life just cooperate and do what you’re fucking told before…”
Boot heels thudded on the balcony and dread could tight in Lena’s gut. It was a futile gesture but she stood anyway as Alex stepped between them.
The door was locked, but Kara didn’t care. She threw the door open, sending the lock mechanism flying across the room and cracking the bomb-proof glass on the process. Alex pulled her alien pistol and aimed it at Kara’s head.
“Don’t make me hurt you, Kara. I won’t let you do something you regret.”
Kara stared at her with bloodshot eyes, the ocean blue irises turned a bruise purple as red flashes danced across the whites, like the setting sun chasing across frosted snow. She moved with a languid, inhuman grace, at once casual and as menacing as a predator stalking prey that had no means of escape.
“Hello, Lena.”
“Kara,” Alex warned. “I know you’re in there. Come back with me.”
Kara ignored her, sweeping her aside with an outstretched arm. Alex went flying, crashing into the doors with a grunt, rolling to the ground unmoving.
“Kara,” Lena said calmly, backing away. “You hurt Alex.”
“I know.”
“Why are you doing this?”
Kara smiled at her, but there was none of her usual joy, her usual mirth, only a cold, vicious baring of teeth. Lena thumped against her bookcase and a model of the HMS victory that Lex gave her after he finished it toppled from the self.
Kara caught it and returned it to its place. She thrust her hands out, bracketing Lena as she leaned in, trapping her. Lena’s heart was pounding.
“You’re scared,” Kara said, “I can taste it in your pheromones. Did you know I can do that? I can sense your skin’s electrical impedance and see the heat bloom in your flesh and hear your heartbeat. If I focus very very hard I can hear brainwaves.”
“I didn’t know that,” Lena said, shocked at the smooth calm in her own voice.
“I knew it was a lie the whole time. I knew it was a lie from the night at the Pullitzer gala, when you really started loathing me.”
“Then why did you-“
“I didn’t want it to be a lie!” Kara snapped, jolting Lena as she pressed into the bookcase. “I wanted it to be real. I wanted finally be free of the pain of hiding myself from you.”
Behind them, Alex groaned as she sat up, staring at them with a thin trickle of blood running from her nose.
“Kara,” Lena said, very softly. “I can see that you’re sick . Let me help you. I can purge the red Kryptonite from your system in my lab.”
“Why would I want to purge it?”
“You hurt Alex. You love Alex.”
“Do I?”
“Yes,” said Lena. “You’re good, Kara. You’re so good. You’re the kindest, most merciful-“
“I’m tired of being kind!” Kara shouted, stinging her ears. “I’m tired of being nice. I’m tired of taking bullets for people! Just because they don’t inure me doesn’t mean they don’t hurt!”
“I didn’t know that either,” Lena whispered. “I thought…”
“You thought nothing hurts me,” Kara said, leaning in close, so close her breath tickled Lena’s lips. “But you hurt me. You hurt more than anything. More than your brother, more than Reign, more than the clone. Dying don’t hurt as much as you hurt me.”
Lena spared Alex a glance. She was lying against the doors, holding her belly. She met Lena’s gaze levelly and Lena knew in an instant the danger she was in and the terrible truth.
She was the only one who could stop Kara.
“I know,” said Lena. “I know I did and it felt good when I was doing it.”
“Lena!” Alex gasped, “are you fucking crazy?”
“It felt good,” Lena said, trying to force the trembling out of her voice and failing. “It felt so good to lash out. I wanted to hurt someone. I want to hurt everyone. I wanted everyone to feel what I’m feeling. Especially you. I bet it felt a lot like what you’re feeling now.”
Kara’s eyes were wild with fury, moments from kindling the red-sun fire that would wipe Lena from existence.
“I never stopped believing in you,” said Kara. “I’m the only reason you’re not in a cell beneath a secret desert compound. All this time I’ve defended you and believed in you and protected you.”
“All this time?” Lena snapped back, fury kindling behind the terror, chasing it back as a fire’s light chases the dark.
She was Lena Luthor. She wasn’t going to die afraid.
“You mean all this time when you accused me of conspiring against you? When you suddenly turned cold to me after telling me how you believed in me? When you made my boyfriend spy on me and destroyed my relationship?”
Lena’s hands released the shelves she’d been strangling in twin death grips.
“I… I…”
“How was I supposed to react to learning that you were both people? After what you did? You should punish me, Kara. I’m a murderer.”
Alex gasped, eyes darting from Kara to Lena.
“I killed my brother for you,” Lena said, very softly. “I killed him because I had to. Because you never would. I’m not a hero like you. I’d do it again. I’d do it all again for you. Now I find out he’s still alive. I may have to. I will. I’ll make sure he’s dead this time!”
Kara blinked, her eyes steaming from the heat inside her as tears ran down her cheeks.
“It hurts,” Kara whispered. “It hurts seeing the truth. It hurts to know what I did.”
“I know how much it hurts,” Lean said, bringing her hands to cup Kara’s face lightly. She was shaking, feverish, her skin almost uncomfortably hot. Lena felt a touch of rising panic and forced it down.
“It hurts knowing that I broke up you and James on purpose. It hurts knowing why. It hurts that even now I can’t say it, I’m too scared.”
“I’m supposed to want you and not him,” Lena said.
Kara jerked back slightly, her eyes going wide. It was an admission without words, a confession to a crime she’d already admitted. She pressed her eyes shut and the tears flowed anyway.
“I’m sorry.”
“I know,” said Lena. “It hurts, doesn’t it? The anger.”
“Yes,” said Kara. “It burns. It’s burning me up. I can feel it in my chest, like it’s turning my ribs to cinders.”
Lena nodded. “I came back for you.”
“What?”
“I came back for you. I went back to the Fortress. I was as going to let you out, accept the consequences of what I’d done, but Alex must have already found you.”
“She did.”
“She always takes care of you, doesn’t she?”
Kara blinked. “Yes.”
“It hurt the most then,” said Lena, “knowing that I’d made my choice and I couldn’t take it back. I planned it all for months. I lost myself in how good it would feel to make you suffer like I’m suffering. Then when I did it there was nothing. No joy. No catharsis. I just felt hollow.”
Lena sighed. “I fucked up. I ruined my life.”
She flinched as Kara’s too-warm hand brushed her cheek, her thumb grazing lightly over her chin.
“I would forgive you any trespass. I would never hurt you,” she said, even as she trembled with rage.
“I know,” said Lena.
“Part of me wants to.”
“I know. Kara, let me help you. Please. You’re sick.”
Kara looked at her and Lena wondered what was going through her head. Did she think it was all a manipulation, a ploy? Would she lose it and snap Lena’s neck, or whip her head with a burst of heat vision and burn them all?
“Okay,” Kara breathed.
Lena reached over and pulled the book on her shelf that opened with direct elevator to her private lab. It was a touch melodramatic, but hell, it was he office.
She gave Alex a glance, waiting for the nod before she stepped inside with Lena.
They rode down in silence. Kara fell back on Lena’s exam table and closed her eyes as Lena placed the device on Kara’s chest. The House of El rune on the machine glowed as it recalibrated itself and began purging the radiation from her system.
Lena knew it was working when Kara began to weep, her face twisting in a grimace of towering grief. When it was done, Lena carefully removed the device and brushed loose strands of hair from Kara’s eyes and gently wrapped her arms around her. Kara buried her face in Lena’s neck and sobbed, shaking the table with the fury of her sorrow.
“I didn’t mean it,” she whimpered.
“I know,” Lena whispered, smoothing a hand over her head. “I know.”
“Is Alex…”
“She’ll be fine, her people have already taken her to the L-Corp infirmary. She’s fine.”
Kara’s voice was almost childlike. “Did I hurt you?”
Lena closed her eyes. “Yeah. You hurt me. It’s okay, darling. It’s going to be okay.”
Kara’s arms looped around her, tentatively. When Lena didn’t push her back, Kara relaxed into the hug.
“I’m sorry, Lena. I’m so fucking sorry.”
“Shhh, I know. I know. I’m sorry too. I forgive you.”
“You can’t,” Kara whimpered. “You can’t just do that.”
“Yes I can. I’m so rich I can do whatever I want. Here.”
Without letting Kara go, she reached over and took Myriad, placing it in Kara’s hands.
“It’s going to be okay,” Lena whispered, as Kara hugged her tighter.
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