#they ask gender first and have an option that is Named!!!! nonbinary!!!!

[ziptieparty]

harvestella lets you pick your pronouns body shape and voice independently btw

[transmascissues]

i just got back from my first ever gynecological exam and somehow, despite the doctor being really nice and way more knowledgeable about trans bodies than i was expecting, it still ended up being incredibly upsetting and honestly probably mildly traumatizing. i’m sure it’s no secret to anyone following me that going to the gynecologist is a uniquely shitty experience for a lot of trans guys and i knew that but i really was not prepared for that.

first of all, everything you read says that the pelvic exam and pap smear shouldn’t hurt even if they’re super uncomfortable, but let me tell you, that shit fucking hurt. like, i have a pretty high pain tolerance and usually even when something does hurt i don’t show it very much, but that was maybe the most painful thing i’ve ever had a doctor do to me and it showed. to be fair, i’ve never had good luck with things like that — i couldn’t even use tampons back when i had a period because the one time i did, taking it out was really painful — and i’m on t now so i’m sure that makes things even harder and i was prepared for it to hurt, but i really wasn’t ready for just bad it was. it’s been an hour since the exam finished and there’s still some pain so, yeah, so much for “it’s just uncomfortable, not painful”.

(and a side note: when it did hurt, the doctor told me to relax my muscles because the tension makes it hurt more. what they didn’t seem to realize is that if your brain and body are collectively rejecting the presence of something inside you, making those muscles relax is a fucking herculean task and i for one was not in any way capable of it so it just…kept getting more painful.)

i also was never informed ahead of time of what a pelvic exam actually entails; i had assumed it was a more general external checkup, and that the pap smear was the only really invasive part. as it turns out, i was very wrong, and “pelvic exam” actually means the doctor sticks their finger up you to feel around. she asked me if i was comfortable getting the exam because it was so obvious that the pap smear didn’t go well, but i had no clue what i was saying yes to and it was a total surprise for me when there was something inside me again. and she knew it was my first time, so she had no reason to assume i knew that the exam would be like. by the time i realized i absolutely should not have said yes to it, i was too late and it was already happening. it really feels like common sense that if you’re going to be giving someone what basically amounts to a professional fingering, you should probably make it clear that that’s what’s about to happen, but i guess that doctor would disagree.

and of course, the whole time i was also being misgendered. the doctor used the right name for me, but the other staff didn’t and everything about it was so excessively gendered (i’m pretty sure the appointment i had was literally called a “women’s wellness visit” on the same sheet that had trans man and nonbinary as gender options). not to mention, when i told them i’m getting top surgery and have the exact date set, the nurse made a comment to like“well aren’t you one of the lucky ones,” which really felt like it had “i think trans guys have a super easy time getting surgeries that cis women have to fight for” energy.

and the irony of all this definitely isn’t lost on me — i just did a project this past semester about how trans guys are fucked over by reproductive healthcare practices so a lot of us just never go, and now i got some firsthand experience in exactly why so many of us just say “no fucking way”.

i just want to put this out there for anyone who hasn’t done it before because i think this would have been a lot less awful for me if someone had just told me “yeah, it might hurt way more than you think, and also that thing they call a pelvic exam is actually an internal exam.” i thought i was prepared and i totally wasn’t, so hopefully this will reach someone else who will be better off knowing all of this.

[etherealspacejelly]

i am once again feeling emotional over the fact that i get to be the trans adult role model i wish i could have had when i was a questioning teenager for a whole new generation of trans kids

hi, im a 21 year old genderqueer demiboy. let me tell you some of my wisdom

you dont need to have dysphoria to be trans. if being a different gender would make you happier and improve your quality of life then do it

you dont have to want top or bottom surgery to be trans. you dont have to want hrt to be trans. if all you want to do is change your name and/or pronouns, thats perfectly ok. if you dont even want to do that, thats ok too

not everyone gets their name or pronouns right first try. theres no shame in changing them multiple times

gender =/= pronouns. you can be nonbinary and use he/him. you can be a cis guy and use they/them. you can be a girl and use ze/hir. its all made up anyway do what makes you feel good

multigender people exist. you can be a boy And a girl. you can be a girl And nonbinary. there are literally infinite options

the only persons gender you should care about is your own. everyone elses is none of your business. if you see someone being trans the 'wrong' way, no you fucking didnt. shut up. what are you, a cop? no one wants to be a cop.

if you fuck around with your gender and realise you're cis after all, you're not a faker or a trender or whatever. you were just figuring yourself out. thats allowed. detransitioners are valid. but! that doesnt give you an excuse to shit on trans people!!! just because You realised you werent trans after all doesnt mean no one is. your experience is not universal

dont engage with terfs/transphobes. dont send them asks or reply to them. just block and move on. trolling them only gives them more ammo to hate us. it doesnt actually help. if someone sends you a transphobic ask, dont answer it. just block them. its better for your mental health in the long run

i love you, and im proud of you.

[elminx]

Elminx's Ritual Walkthrough: A Spell to

Remove Unwanted Things From Your Life

Note: This ritual is my own creation - it combines the elements of a cleansing spell with cord-cutting. It also involves the basic concepts of sympathetic magic and some candle magic. Feel free to make it your own in any way that fits your personality and practice.

This is one of the most versatile spells in my repertoire - it can be used as a general all-purpose cleansing spell or specifically to target a particular problem you are currently experiencing. I am going to go through the basics of the spell first. The second section will involve how to adapt this spell to varying concerns. Its ingredients are meant to be simple and accessible - you can follow it as written or add more for flare. As always, I assume you will arrange your sacred space before you begin.

At its bare bones, this is a longer-lasting candle ritual of cleansing that involves strong elements of cord-cutting into the mix. You will be asked to actively attend to your candle every 30 minutes while your candle is lit. This is not optional - if you are not willing to do this, this is not the spell for you. A lot of the magic of this spell comes into play with the repetition of action - this is the MOST IMPORTANT element of this ritual, do not skip out on this step.

The Basic Ritual

You will Need:

1 Pillar Candle, preferably a figure candle* A fireproof bowl or tray Salt or Sand 1 or more Cleansing Herbs** A Cleansing oil, olive is fine (optional) A pair of scissors*** A stopwatch (the app of your phone is fine)

*This is especially true when you are new to this ritual. This candle is supposed to represent you and using a figure candle of your gender will reinforce this in your mind. I prefer to use the figure candles by Darknessvoid on Etsy, but any figure candle will do. Beeswax is best for this purpose because it has a long burn time which we want for this rituatl. For those of you who are nonbinary, I know that Madame Pamita sells nonbinary figure candles. Any pillar candle will do in a pinch just keep in mind that we WANT the candle to burn for a long time. I don't find the color of the candle to be important here (I use undyed beeswax) but you can add color magic here if you wish. **This should be a cleansing herb that you have a solid relationship with. I would suggest lemon, mint, sage, hyssop, or cedar as good options for this step but ultimately use what you have and feel comfortable with. For additional fire safety, use fresh herbs when applicable as they are less likely to ignite. ***I use regular old house scissors for this ritual. If you have a cutting device that is sanctified and important to your craft, use that. It does not have to be scissors, a knife or other cutting utensil will be fine

Set up your sacred space - this does not have to be fancy; do what feels right.

Prepare for A Long Burn, aka Candle Burning Safety - This is a long candle ritual - the longer your candle burns, the more effective the end results (in my experience). So we want to set up for candle safety - I do this by choosing a fire-safe plate and lining it with salt (you can use sand as an alternative). I place my candle in a safe space with nothing flammable nearby. Please follow your very best fire safety rules here.

Prepare your candle for burning - Take your pillar candle and become better acquainted with it. This candle is supposed to represent you; you may wish to carve your name and date of birth into the candle. Rub the candle over your entire body - focusing on problem areas (I'll go more into that below). If you do energy work, focus on pulling what you want to remove out of your body and into the candle. You can breathe into the face of the candle - whatever you have to do until you feel like the candle is a representation of you. This is an important step - take as long as you need to here. When this step feels complete, you can anoint your candle with a cleansing oil if you are using it (many traditions will call for holding the candle against your body and anointing the candle from the feet to the wick signifying that we are working on removal.) Place your candle in the center of your plate of salt/sand.

Sanctify or Empower Your Herb(s) - I will not go into details about how to do this because you should have a way that is already in your practice. The goal here is to somehow "wake up" the herbs and inform them of their role in this ritual. I like to arrange the herbs in an ascetic way around my candle, but do what works for you here. They just need to end up on the plate on top of the sand/salt. Keep in mind that dry herbs are quite flammable, so keep them farther away from the candle for fire safety.

Light your candle and begin the ritual - the goal of this ritual is to cut away any problems in your life every 1/2 hour while the candle is burning. The first cut should begin immediately after you have lit the candle and is the most important. I like to speak out loud as I make cuts around the candle with my scissors - I "name" each thing I am cutting as I focus on letting it go to exit my life. As I see it, there are five planes involved in a candle spell like this: to the left and right of the candle, in front of the candle, behind the candle, and above the candle. I was taught that the left side represents the past, the right the future, the back the mental realm, in front the physical realm, and above the spiritual realm. You do not need to use this format, but it can be a helpful way of thinking about WHERE to cut on the candle. Bring whatever is bothering you to mind, speak your intentions to remove it from your life, and then cut the air around the candle in the appropriate location. If you are good at energy work, you may be able to "find" the cord to cut, but it's okay if you can't do this. If something is feeling especially stuck, I sometimes cut the cords from around the candle and then from around my body. I am most likely to do this on the first cut.

Set Your Timer for 30 Minutes - You want to repeat the cutting part of the ritual every 30 minutes for as long as the candle burns. You may find that you are cutting at the same locations every time you return to this action, or you may find areas that need cutting that seem to be revealed as the ritual progresses. You can go with your intuition here or do divination on this subject - I wouldn't start divination for this until you've lit your candle and begun the ritual.

Take an action in your physical life to aid this spell - This is a great opportunity to take real-world steps that reflect the magic you are working on. You could cut your hair. You could clean your space. If you are removing a person from your life, this is the time to block them on social media if you have not done so already.

Rinse and Repeat - You should be cutting as part of this ritual for as long as your candle burns. It is okay to put out and relight your candle as needed; just make sure to burn it in half-hour increments. You could use numerology to your advantage here by burning the candle over nine days (nine is the number of completion). Doing this for the nine days leading up to a new moon would enhance the natural energy of this spell.

Finishing Touches - because this is a spell of removal, you want to clean up and discard any leftover elements of this spell as close to spell completion as possible. These items should be thrown away and I suggest doing so away from your house. I gather the items into a plastic bag and dispose of them in a public trash bin. If you can't do that for whatever reason, at least put them in the bin outside of your house.

How to Modify This Ritual

This ritual can be modified in any way that you can think of to remove something specific.

To Remove a Person From Your Life - To do a gentle cord cutting, repeat this ritual as written. Specify that you are cutting the ties that bind you and the person you want to remove during the cutting sections. Adding an herb like lavender that has a soft and calming domination element to it can aid in this effect. Here you might put your focus on the past, the future, and the physical sides of the candle.

If you need to forcibly remove a person from your life - add in some banishment herbs. If there is an air of obsession on either of your parts, cut in the mental realms as well.

Hexbreaking - this isn't in and of itself a hex-breaking ritual, but it can be used in conjunction with other magics to mollify some of the effects of baneful magic or the evil eye on your person. In this case, it is best to have a good idea of what effect the baneful magic is having and, from there, cut in the appropriate quadrant of the candle specifying "I am cutting away the baneful magic cast by xxx on my xxx". Add hex-breaking herbs to your ritual for this purpose.

Healing - I can't believe I have to say this, but magic cannot heal you of anything major, life-threatening, or chronic. But this spell is especially good at drawing out SYMPTOMS (I have used it to augment the treatment for my chronic illness and to help with colds and viruses in the past). On the step where you rub your candle over your body, focus on areas where you are symptomatic and draw the symptoms out of your body and into the candle. Add herbs that help you with these symptoms to this ritual.

For Help with Trauma - Please only do this if you have some handle on the trauma you have undergone. If you feel that there is a chance that thinking about the trauma may hurt you further, this is not a helpful ritual for you. When you are at a point where you understand your trauma well and wish to do a ritual to help release it, you can cut it away from your body as part of this ritual. It will help to understand where you are carrying the trauma - cut it away from your mental realm if you keep ruminating on it, or away from the belly of your candle if you carry it as stomach issues. You may need a buddy to be with while you attempt this sort of work; tread with care here.

For Intrusive Thoughts - Again, this ritual cannot cure you of intrusive thoughts, but it can help to manage them for a time. Rub the candle all over your head during step 3, focusing on pushing your intrusive thoughts out and into the head of the candle. During the cutting stage, focus on cutting in the mental realm.

I…could go on. If you need to remove it from your person, this ritual can be adapted for that purpose. If you have an idea in your head but don't know how to actualize it, feel free to send me an ask so I can spitball ideas with you.

A Few Final Thoughts

As humans, we tend to accumulate lots of stuff in our minds and in our bodies. This is a ritual that is designed, at its core, to separate out what is ours to carry forward from what we might just be carrying with us. This may not be the right ritual for you; if so, that is completely okay. You should never perform magic that doesn't feel right.

That said, keep in mind that when you clear out a lot of stuff, you can create a bit of a vacuum. Once whatever you want gone IS gone, you should take steps to protect yourself from its return. As always, I hope that this post was helpful. Do you like my work? You can support me by tipping me on KoFi or purchasing an astrology report written just for you.

[drinkyourvillainjuice]

Drink Your Villain Juice - FAQ

Contains mild spoilers.

What is the story about?

You play as a science experiment turned undercover supervillain, charged with gathering information on a mysterious new villain group in town. With many skeletons in your closet and mixed allegiances, whose side are you really on?

Genres: Horror, action, traumatised people trying to heal (or get worse)

Who is involved with this IF?

There's the writer, and there's her wife (the secretary!). Both of us are active on the blog, so you may sometimes see posts unrelated directly to DYVJ, usually tagged #unrelated.

What are the protagonist's powers?

The protagonist/MC can grow a resilient membrane over their body, forming two tendrils from their shoulders. The membrane makes them stronger, faster, and more resilient.

MC can also select one of three power specialities: inducing wild and uncontrolled mutations of their body, creating small creepy-crawly minions (referred to as 'nodes'), and growing a protective carapace.

Will we be able to gain multiple powers/will you add new powers?

No: both would add too much complexity and also detract from the significance of the choice.

Will our powers get stronger?

Yes, to an extent, but I don't write based on power levels anyway. :)

Who is this Paradigm/Dime person people keep talking about?

Paradigm, AKA Dime, is the MC! It's their codename with their 'true' faction.

How long will the story be? Is it going to be a series?

Length: I have no idea! I'm not intending to get completely bonkers, but I want to ensure all the ROs get their time in the sun too.

Series: I suspect this will be a duology, but I can't be certain yet as we're not deep enough into the narrative.

Did you say Romance Options!? Elaborate!

There are currently 7 romanceable characters in DYVJ. You can also play the MC as aromantic, asexual, or both. The ROs are explained in more detail on choice of games, but briefly:

Mallory (non-binary), Wilson/Wilma/Willow (gender-selectable), Kay (female), Teddie (male, men only), Control Group (female), Alistair (male), Beth (female, women/nonbinaries).

I'm intending on including at least one poly route, featuring Wil and Kay.

I've heard there's a choice to have a previous RO in the past?

Correct! There's a flashback sequence with MC and some friends before the supervillainy. You can choose to have MC dating or crushing on Prii (nonbinary), Shauna (female), Grant (male), or Beth (female). This doesn't prevent you from romancing someone else later on!

Will the characters from the flashback show up again?

I can promise some level of closure! There won't be romance routes though. (Beth notwithstanding)

Will you make [X] an RO?

Seven is already an awful lot! I don't want to overcommit by adding more!

Can I select all the options for the Juice changing my character's appearance?

I'm presently not planning on adding this. I'd have to alter some code in an annoying way and I enjoy it being a choice with intent instead of an 'all of the above'.

Will we be able to get off the Juice/free from control?

Keep playing and see. ;)

How villainous can I get?/Do I have to be a villain?

There will be opportunities to leap off the proverbial slippery slope, but also to be unhappy and conflicted about what you're being forced to do.

Drink Your Villain Juice! is kind of a goofy name.

So I've heard! I know it's given people the impression that this is a comedy, which it, uh, very much is not. Honestly Drink Your Villain Juice! was the only title that popped for me in the conceptual stage: everything else felt much more bland or generic.

I've found a bug, how can I let you know?

First, please make sure you didn't resume playing on Dashingdon from an old save: updates to Dashingdon tend to break a lot of stuff in the backend and that's been the root of a lot of errors in the past.

If you're confident this isn't the problem, then just send an ask or post on the COG forum! I'll look into it.

I'd like to give feedback on the game!

Once again, send an ask, or post on the COG forum. I also have a feedback form I'm trying out for each chapter, so you can fill that out if you like!

Can I support you?

That's very kind of you! Support from fans is how I can work on the game and update as frequently as I do. I have a Patreon and a Ko-fi, but honestly, I'm grateful just for your feedback. :)

Do you have a discord?

Yes, it's tied to Patreon membership. However, if you have sent a tip/donation/etc, please reach out to DYVJ requests to talk about an invite. :)

[multigenderswag]

Multigender Survey Results Dec 2023: Anything else relevant

Participants were asked "Share anything else about your multigender identity that you find relevant" and had the option to respond with long answer text. Some notable responses include:

As a m+f bigender person who uses he/she pronouns, I sometimes feel like the "he" refers to my female side, and the "she" refers to my male side

I am no longer religious/Christian, but the expression “God is Change” resonates deeply with me and my approach to gender as experience. I accept that my gender (holistically) is an amalgamation, something that breathes new life into itself repeatedly and often unexpectedly, sustained by its own willingness to grow past its bounds and taste richness anew. Teaching is part of my work, and as such I consider myself an eternal student: gender is just one avenue for discovery and learning for me.

I feel so boring but it is what it is, name wise I use one (completely feminine) with group A and one (completely masculine) with group B and hope and pray that they never interact

I identified as a 'tomboy' (gender wise) as a child and transmasc as a teenager. As an adult part of my being multigender is honouring these past versions of myself and acknowledging that who I was is an important part of who I am today.

I like to describe my gender like this: imagine there’s a house on a street. the house represents being a boy/male, and being *in* the house means you’re binary male. The road represents a neutral, non-male/female gender. My gender is like the driveway — both part of the road *and* the house

i think this is relevant-ish, but the way i experience gender kind of feels like. there's a man and a woman in my head at all times, not in a system way so much as a (this is very obviously stupid but i can't find another comparison to articulate it) inside out way. they're both always there, and they're both separate, but at the same time, they come together to make the same person, me! nonbinary is a label i understand and identify with, mostly to simplify the matter for others, but in reality, it kind of feels like a... superbinary of sorts. i'm 100% a man, and 100% a woman, but because the binary only "allows" you to choose one, nonbinary is technically correct, isn't it?

I'm multigender in the "one gender that fits into several categories" way than being multigender in a "has multiple genders" way

My gender is the intersection of butch dyke and trans man. I'm questioning things right now, but I'm somewhere in that region, with a foot in both at once. I've always been drawn to butchness and sapphicism as well as transmasculinity. I think most of my journey to understand my gender has been a balancing act between identifying as enough of a guy to feel comfortable in my skin but non-binary enough to not have to abandon my identity with butchness. Recently I've adopted the label multigender, and it's helped a lot. I'm only even a little bit a girl if I can be a boy first and foremost, and I could be just a boy or just a dyke but I would have to kill part of myself to do so. I'm trying to find a way to exist in my gender without blood on my hands. I think I'm getting there. It's hard but I'm getting there.

It is complicated but I love it

Yay I love multi gender people we are so cool. <3

A number of participants also referenced being autistic and how that has influenced their multigender identity, so it is possible that autism may be included as a question on the next survey.

[the-sparkling-diamond-satine]

Why Wishverse Buffy Fuels my "Buffy Summers is nonbinary" head canon

I will write my entire Non-binary Buffy meta post someday but it's a lot and for now I've got people asking about my wishverse + gender thoughts so I went ahead and wrote this piece of it. Wishverse!Buffy raises a lot of questions about Buffy's gender identity and gender expression. Like, why is Our Buffy so insistent that's she's Definitely A Girl with a feminine gender presentation when Wishverse!Buffy Who Has No One To Impress And Doesn't Care How She's Perceived presents as butch or masculine or even transmasc?

And this change in presentation isn't just the result of Wishverse!Buffy having nothing in her life outside of slaying. We've also met another Slayer (Kendra) who has no friends, no family, no one to impress except her Watcher who only cares about her usefulness as a Slayer, who still presents as feminine? We also meet Faith who only really has Buffy in her life to care about for a lot of s3 but Faith + gender is a whole other post (and this is not that post haha so we're not going there today).

Wishverse!Buffy is the ONLY TIME in canon that we meet a Buffy who doesn't care at all about how people perceive her, and she drops a lot of her femininity. Since Kendra's Watcher didn't try to take her own femininity from her—I mean, the girl named her own stake because she has nothing to care about besides weapons but her Watcher buys her jewelry and makeup?—surely Wishverse!Buffy also had wardrobe options and she chose THIS. Also I can understand why Buffy's Cleveland Watcher insisted she lose the dresses and skirts and heels from her wardrobe, but Buffy did have athletic wear we saw her training in sometimes in the library, so why did Wishverse!Buffy go out and buy herself completely new clothes? And instead of shorts and sports bras and t-shirts she chose this??? She took the time to buy a cross but no chain for it! That looks like she tied it into jewelry herself. Just...look at her:

Also WHY in season 2 when Buffy meets Kendra for the first time does Buffy suddenly have the queerest outfit she's ever worn in her entire life and Kendra looks so gorgeous and feminine and put together? What were the costumers trying to say?? Buffy looks like a lesbian. Or I know non-binary and transmasc people who dress like that (myself included sometimes). Oversized shirts help so much with chest dysphoria and/or achieving a more masculine appearance I'm just saying.

Actually she kind of looks like Oz and that guy has the most trans guy style and energy ever???

I digress. Wishverse!Buffy is not Buffy simply choosing not to care about hair and makeup and fashion because she's depressed. Look at s5 and s6 Buffy. She is so depressed, so Not Okay, but there's one key difference between these two characters: unlike Wishverse!Buffy, canon Buffy cares SO DEEPLY about what others think of her. She even says as much to Spike:

BUFFY: I guess. Everyone...they all care. They all care so much, it...makes it all harder. SPIKE: I'm not sure I followed you around that bend, love. BUFFY: I don't know. I just, I feel like I'm spending all of my time trying to be okay, so they don't worry. It's exhausting. And then, I... SPIKE: And that makes 'em worry even more. (6x04 Flooded)

MY POINT IS the only time Buffy stops focusing so much on what others think about her and stops performing for others and simply allows herself to exist, she stops performing a lot of femininity and gender stuff as well. And I do think Buffy finds some enjoyment in being feminine and fashion, but how much of it is genuine enjoyment and how much is Buffy earnestly saying "I'm a normal girl and no one can say otherwise, look at how normal I am, I am the girliest girl who ever girled!!!!!" As in, Buffy's insistence that she's a girl isn't actually about wanting people to think she's a girl. It's about wanting people to think she's "normal," and that means them seeing her as a girl. When she actually isn't (a girl), because she's non-binary.

Also I KNOW that gender expression =/= gender identity, but since we are not Buffy and therefore cannot know what she thinks and how she would identify if given the education and label options, we can only look at what she says and how she dresses and acts. Buffy Summers is non-binary TO ME. And Wishverse!Buffy is a piece of why I think so. Meta post incoming one day when I write it all down.

[tepli-mravenci]

hey homonoromo! a czech related question: how is it with queer acceptance in your country? preferrably in brno, haha. and especially about trans people? do you think it'd be possible for me to transition there? and how much would it cost in general? and do i have to get psych approval and wait in the queue for years or stuff like in the uk?

i know you're not a consultant or anything, i just don't know who to ask. also, i guess that's way more than one question

Aight so when it comes to acceptance it really comes to individual people but regarding transition there's a couple things to consider:

- according to law you are required (among other things) to get sterilized to complete your transition if you're transitioning fully from one binary gender to another (aka you want your personal documents say you're that gender and you want a name that's purely given to people of that gender), also there's no nonbinary option for the "full" transition, you either have M or F on your ID

- before you're allowed to start taking HRT you need to go to a therapist essentially, it really depends on WHERE exactly and WHO your therapist is and I don't know the Brno situation but there are forums (mostly on Facebook I think) where people discuss their experiences (also čumblr Brňáci might know more than me)

- this is also individual when it comes to how long you'll be waiting, how long they'll be examining you and how long it will take you to transition

- I'm not sure how MONEY works when you have a non-czech insurance company (since I have no idea how insurance works) but if you do have one that operates in the Czech republic they WILL pay for your transition as if it were any other medical treatment (there's of course examinations and shit that determine whether it will psychologically benefit you to receive that treatment), you should still check if your insurance covers these kinds of things tho

- during your examination period you're first required to "try out" presenting yourself socially as the gender you're transitioning to which includes using a gender neutral name

- a recent GOOD development here is that you can now change your name to a neutral one ANYTIME even if you're not "officially" transitioning! Here's a list of legally approved gender neutral names!

- there are invasive and unnecessary examinations that should not be mandatory for the transition but your therapist can still try to make you go through them, depends again on the specific one, it's also important to remember that the way trans people are diagnosed here is reportedly ancient and just...really stupid? (to quote what my classmate told me, they asked him things like "did you play with dolls or cars as a child?")

- if you are married (to someone of the opposite sex) or in a registered partnership (with someone of the same sex) pre-transition, you have to get divorced when you complete transition because they're not the same on a legal level

Trans*parent is a great Czech resource when it comes to transition and trans stuff in general

I am not sure how different it is with foreigners or even if you'd find a therapist who speaks english honestly. Don't quote me on this but you might need to get Czech citizenship first? But I really don't know.

If I said something stupid or inaccurate (or no longer relevant) here pls correct me!!

[celepom]

FAVOURITE GRAPHIC NOVELS OF 2023

The Infinity Particle - By Wendy Xu

In this gorgeous graphic novel by Wendy Xu, co-creator of the award-winning Mooncakes, a young inventor falls for a lifelike AI and confronts questions of freedom and autonomy. Clementine Chang moves from Earth to Mars for a new start and is lucky enough to land her dream job with Dr. Marcella Lin, an Artificial Intelligence pioneer. On her first day of work, Clem meets Dr. Lin’s assistant, a humanoid AI named Kye. Clem is no stranger to robots—she built herself a cute moth-shaped companion named SENA. Still, there’s something about Kye that feels almost too human. When Clem and Kye begin to collaborate, their chemistry sets off sparks. The only downside? Dr. Lin is enraged by Kye’s growing independence and won’t allow him more freedom. Plus, their relationship throws into question everything Clem thought she knew about AI. After all, if Kye is sentient enough to have feelings, shouldn’t he be able to control his own actions? Where is the line between AI and human? As her past and Kye’s future weigh down on her, Clem becomes determined to help him break free—even if it means risking everything she came to Mars for.

Not Sew-Wicked Stepmom - By i r u, Yir, Mo9Rang

Once upon a time, there was a lovely young princess who suffered under her cruel stepmother…that is, until a children’s clothing designer is reborn as the evil stepmother! All the new Queen Abigail Friedkin wants to do is dote on the adorable Princess Blanche and give her the happy childhood she deserves. The problem is, the previous Abigail has garnered a reputation for being extremely jealous and materialistic—and to top it off, her smile is the stuff of children’s nightmares! Will Abigail be able to convince her stepdaughter that she might not be so wicked after all? 

(TW, childhood SA of the main male lead)

Until I Love Myself: The Journey of a Nonbinary Manga Artist

A bravely blunt autobiography about confronting the tangled traumas of gender dysphoria and workplace sexual harassment. Nonbinary manga artist Poppy Pesuyama is excited when forms offer the option to choose “neither” for gender and thrilled about their new job working as an assistant for mangaka X! But then he sexually harasses them, treating them first like a girl and then like something less than human. It only lasts a few months, but in some ways it never ends. Born into a body they hate and still reeling from the abuse they faced seven years ago, Pesuyama begins to rail at their past, their friends, and even their mother as they try to come to terms with who they are and what happened to them.

Belle of the Ball - By Mari Costa

High-school senior and notorious wallflower Hawkins finally works up the courage to remove her mascot mask and ask out her longtime crush: Regina Moreno, head cheerleader, academic overachiever, and all-around popular girl. There’s only one teensy little problem: Regina is already dating Chloe Kitagawa, athletic all-star…and middling English student. Regina sees a perfectly self-serving opportunity here, and asks the smitten Hawkins to tutor Chloe free of charge, knowing Hawkins will do anything to get closer to her. And while Regina’s plan works at first, she doesn’t realize that Hawkins and Chloe knew each other as kids, when Hawkins went by Belle and wore princess dresses to school every single day. Before long, romance does start to blossom…but not between who you might expect. With Belle of the Ball, cartoonist Mariana Costa has reinvigorated satisfying, reliable tropes into your new favorite teen romantic comedy.

The Princess and the Grilled Cheese Sandwich - By Deya Muniz

Lady Camembert wants to live life on her own terms, without marriage. Well, without marrying a man, that is. But the law of the land is that women cannot inherit. So when her father passes away, she does the only thing she can: She disguises herself as a man and moves to the capital city of the Kingdom of Fromage to start over as Count Camembert.   But it’s hard to keep a low profile when the beautiful Princess Brie, with her fierce activism and great sense of fashion, catches her attention. Camembert can’t resist getting to know the princess, but as the two grow closer, will she able to keep her secret?   A romantic comedy about mistaken identity, true love, and lots of grilled cheese.

[doberbutts]

Hi! Very sorry about the vague bitesports ask - I wasn’t actually aware that there were multiple types!

Could you start by explaining a bit more about what you and Fenris do for mondioring?

Oh, sure, but I think first you should acquaint yourself with the rulebook: https://www.fci.be/medias/UTI-REG-MON-en-4624.pdf

(This is a PDF file, it will download, that is intentional and not a virus I promise, I have literally this exact file from this exact link saved on both my phone and my laptop)

Your original questions were:

What is the overall goal of the sport/what is the dog specifically being trained to do? Are there competitions, and if so, how are they judged?

In regards to mondioring, mondioring is a competitive protection dog sport based off of french ring, which was based off of belgian ring, which was based off of the belgian border patrol program. However mondioring itself was always intended to be a sport, not a military or police program or something to determine breed-worthiness. It was developed as a fun handler's challenge instead of anything else.

As a side note, I think this is why mondio tends to have the most relaxed atmosphere as well as tends to draw the least amount of really intensely bigoted people of all the bitesports. I'm not saying they don't exist in mondio, in fact I can name a few names right now that are rather notorious for it. But it's very unlike IGP (the most popular bitesport within the US) where you can't go a week without tripping over a nazi, a sexual predator, or a domestic abuser... occasionally all of them in the same person... being outed and then immediately defended by the wider sport-going population. I also find it tends to be more friendly to women, racial minorities, disability, and marginalized genders and sexualities- which was reflected in a recent poll done by the USMRA that stated that while it's mostly half and half, it's technically women-led in the US with 51.6% of competitors identifying as women and the rest identifying as men.

(Which either means there was no nonbinary option on the poll or what nonbinary people took the poll were not comfortable identifying as such, which tbh is fair, bc as said bitesports tend to be a hellscape for anyone who's not cishet white and abled- I know I have two nb ppl in my club but they also id as nb women so that may also skew results if not polled correctly)

The goal of mondio is, put simply, good and correct work in increasingly challenging and ever-changing environments. Mondio differs from other sports because each trial is different. They are themed and each theme can completely change the picture. Unlike in sports like agility, or even sports like IGP and french ring, where the jumps always look roughly the same and the retrieves are always dumbbells and there's always a pause table and it's a specific pattern that maybe the individual method of going about the pattern changes from field to field, the total picture always looks roughly the same to the dog... in mondio, the exercises are always the same in the vaguest sense but the means of going about them are different.

For instance, we just had USMRA nationals, which was a pirates theme. That means that the jumps looked like pieces of ships sticking out of "water" (grass), the distractions to see if the dog would break its stay included the decoys having a sword fight, cannons and splashes of water went off constantly, the retrieves were things like toy treasure chests, glass bottles with paper inside, swords, and gold coins... The work that the dog has to do remains the same- you must stay, you must retrieve, you must jump, you must bite- but this becomes more a test of how well your dog has generalized these behaviors and how strong your dog's nerve are environmentally than of precision or perfection.

That is also why you can still place on the winner's podium even if you don't qualify on a passing score. This is recognized to be difficult, so those who don't DQ are still praised for trying. Failure has the attitude of "you gave it your best! now you know what to work on for your next try!"

It also means the judge is looking more for overall correctness rather than dinging you for every possible infraction (usually)

Finally, having done both IGP (with Creed) and mondio (with Creed and with Fenris), I'd say that mondio is less mentally stressful on the dog when it comes to protection itself. There is less focus on defense and aggression and more focus on prey and play. While some exists (face attack, defense of handler), the best way I've ever heard it put is that mondio is much more of a conversation between the decoy and the dog where they are sparring partners instead of mortal enemies.

Creed genuinely wanted to hurt the decoys who worked him, and got angry at the thought of being held back from doing so, and technically that is very correct for a doberman to displace such defensiveness and anger in their protection. Fenris does want to keep biting the decoy, but it is more because he finds this to be a very fun and deeply pleasurable thing to do rather than any feelings of actually wanting to cause harm. I also have been very careful not to work him on decoys that will bring this out of him, even though I do think it is correct for the breed to be like that, because his breeder assures me that when the time is right he will with the defense he needs. I have no need for a civil dog, and what little protection in my day-to-day I've required he's more than satisfied, so to me as long as he passes his temperament tests as an adult and is competitive in sport, I don't really need him to be another Creed.

[campbyler]

Hi!

I’m curious, when you planned this fic, did you discuss about maybe having genderneutral (or just gender free) cabins? The gender binary is really the only thing bugging me while I read 😅

I get that those may not yet be reality, but I kinda hope that the possibility at least crossed your minds. If not, I hope it’s doing so now. 🙂

Apart from that, I love this fic! You are such talented writers, all 3 of you! 💛

Best wishes,

One of your non-binary fans

hi! your ask has a few different things i’d like to address:

first, we actually did discuss the logistics of the cabins when beginning to worldbuild for this fic. we talked about eliminating that disctinction altogether and just having all the cabins be gender neutral/coed, but ran into a couple logistical issues with this. i agree, nonbinary campers absolutely do exist, but going off that same realism vein, someone pointed out that it would be inevitable that hopper would get one million angry messages from parents complaining about the sleeping arrangements, which would most likely be true even if this fic didn’t take place in rural indiana.

i understand that having boys and girls cabins can be frustrating to you as a nonbinary reader, and i empathize — at least two of us currently identify with gender identities outside of that binary — but i would like to gently remind you that this is a fictional summer camp in a fanfiction about a show’s fictional world. to put it plainly: it’s not real. we haven’t excluded gender neutral cabins because we don’t think they should exist or that nonbinary children don’t exist. it’s just… it’s a fanfiction. about summer camp. we imagine that the rest of the camp has plenty of accommodations — gender neutral bathrooms, name tag options w pronouns, probably a couple of shower facilities outside of the cabins — but when it comes to long term sleeping arrangements, there’s probably only so much hopper can do. if it were that imperative to a camper that they be placed in entire gender neutral accommodations, camp whiteman (a fictional place! in a fanfiction!) is probably just not the best fit for them.

i know this ask came from a good place, and again, i do empathize with how frustrating the gender binary can be when you don’t fall into it, but i’d just like to remind you that we are doing our best. while we try to root as much of our worldbuilding in realism as possible, this is not an original work we’re posting, and frankly, no matter what we did, there would probably still be someone who wasn’t completely happy with it.

[nonbinaryresource]

hmmmm not sure how to phrase this exactly, but I've been looking through the questioning tag and thought I could try just asking specifically. (Sorry it got quite long!)

I'm pretty sure watching too many trans tiktoks did not make me nonbinary, but it sure brought up questions. Mainly, what if relating to nonbinary/trans experiences in my case is just that, relating? I'm thinking I might be nonbinary or trans, all because I suck at almost everything considered my gender, from looks to skills and so my "disphoria" is me not liking how others see me, rather than it being my body. I don't want to be my body to people first and then my person, besides I get the feeling top surgery would make me look and feel aesthetically cooler lol but that's just me

Is that a thing or I'm just extremely in denial?

Not sure if you caught the study we were just reblogging on how dysphoria and transness is not caused by "social contagion" like tiktoks, but if not, it feels relevant to link.

Researchers from the Fenway Institute disproved the theory of "rapid-onset gender dysphoria" (RODG) and determined that "social contagion" does not influence gender identity in the largest study of its kind, published earlier this month in Pediatrics journal.

"The hypothesis that transgender and gender diverse youth assigned female at birth identify as transgender due to social contagion does not hold up to scrutiny and should not be used to argue against the provision of gender-affirming medical care for adolescents," Dr. Alex S. Keuroghlian, the study's senior author and director of Fenway's National LGBTQIA+ Health Education Center, and the Massachusetts General Hospital Psychiatry Gender Identity Program, said in a statement.

But I'm gonna focus on the idea of "what if I just relate to trans experiences but aren't trans?"

Okay.

So.

What if you do?

What?

Then what?

You...find out more about yourself?

You...discover new things about your own feelings and comfort?

You...consider all of the options and come to decide on which label is best for you to adopt?

I'm not seeing a downside here. I'm not seeing anything to panic about. The transphobes have turned exploration and experimentation into the boogeyman. Life is about exploration and experimentation. Capitalism has absolutely ruined us. It's ridiculous to expect children who aren't even done psychologically developing yet to know and pick their life path and dedicate the rest of their life to it, including going thousands of dollars in debt to get a degree if necessary. It's ridiculous to expect people to not explore and experiment and have some damn fun in life, whether that's trying out 60 different jobs to find something that they want to do or discarding and picking up a new hobby each every single week to find what they actually find enjoyable or playing around with genders/sexualities/names/pronouns/clothes/etc. to figure out their feelings and better get to know who they are.

There is nothing - NOTHING - inherently wrong, bad, or immature about exploration and experimentation in life period.

So what if you relate to trans experiences but are actually cis? So what you identify as trans now for whatever length of time and change how you label later? So what?

I am so tired of the idea that anybody knows what they are doing ever. Nobody knows! We're all just making it up! The imposter syndrome we're putting everyone through for every aspect of their lives - from their jobs to their hobbies to their genders to their sexualities - is out of control. The society we have built is not meant for people. And that's incredibly, incredibly heartbreaking.

People should be allowed to play and explore and experiment!

People should be allowed to grow and change!

People should be allowed to be confused and unsure!

People should be allowed to not know!

People should be allowed to try on identities like we try on clothes at the store!

Fuck the self-gaslighting society is pressuring you to put yourself through.

I don't care what you know for sure. I don't care if you're going by a label you're unsure of. I don't care if you're going by a label you know is technically not the most accurate. I don't care if you stuck up a bunch of identity labels on a dart board, threw a dart, and decided to identify as that one. I'm here for you. The messy, confused, complex, hard to understand you. The real you.

Could it be a thing that you relate to trans experiences, don't really relate to cis experiences, and yet are cis? Sure. (Slightly tangential, but I think you might get some food for thought out of this piece of writing.)

But don't sit here thinking you have to identify as cis because you don't have "proof" of being trans. That's not a thing. It's just what the transphobes want you to think. You can identify as any damn thing you want (let's avoid cultural appropriation, though!), even if you're only 0.5% thinking you might be that thing.

If you think you might be nonbinary, practice not giving into the thoughts like "but I can't really be nonbinary because I'm only just now thinking about it". Practice letting yourself try out being nonbinary! For at least several months, unless it's just too terrible and you realize right away that it's not right for you. Don't debate on this or put yourself through a court of law or beat yourself down. Just let yourself be nonbinary. In a couple months, then come back to the questions of "is this right for me?".

And there is no "right" or "wrong" reason to identify with whatever identity. Some people identify as nonbinary because they have a very specific, pinpointable, non-binary gender. Others identify as nonbinary because they're not really sure but nonbinary makes them the most comfortable. Others identify as nonbinary because they want to be nonbinary. Others identify as nonbinary because they don't relate to or don't understand or don't want to identify with the binarily gendered structure of our society. Whatever your reasoning, it's both valid and nobody else's business (though ofc you can tell anybody why if it's what YOU want to do).

~Mod Pluto

P.S. If anything in this ask comes off as angry or frustrated, it is not with you. It is towards society and bigots who purport attitudes that harm people, even if in seemingly "little" ways like making them feel like they can't trust their own feelings.

[riddlerosehearts]

Okay now EYE must ask you - how are you liking BG3??? How far are you?? Tell me about your Tav!!!! (Please and thank you <3)

hi!! 💖 i only started the game a few days ago and it was an impulse decision i made after having previously told a friend of mine that i definitely wanted to play it but that it'd probably take me a while to get around to it (and, because i thought i wouldn't play anytime soon i hadn't really been trying to avoid spoilers). but, i have the PC version and while it generally runs just fine, my computer is kind of slow and the game is so big that it took hours to download and install. so i kind of went ahead and started to come up with a whole character idea during that time LOL. sorry if my explanations of things get a bit too rambly/disorganized. i'm actually not very far in the game at all yet, i've been spending a ton of time doing stuff in the druids grove and i'm supposed to go find halsin but i haven't even gotten karlach in my party yet! i've recruited all the main companions except for her but i am excited to meet her. gonna put the rest of this under a cut for length.

my only background with DND is that i listened to the first campaign of the adventure zone and i've watched the legends of vox machina show. i also have a friend who's super into her own DND campaign and another friend who's told me a lot about dimension 20, specifically fantasy high--and i've considered trying it out for her but haven't gotten around to it yet! i think she actually told me the same thing about the episode lengths making it easier to get into than critical role, because i had tried critical role and it was just so long that i couldn't stick with it. but, yeah, i've also looked at the forgotten realms wiki a bit but i've never actually played DND. i have played skyrim and final fantasy 14 and some other similar RPGs with customizable blank-slate protagonists, and in those types of games i always have to make OCs to roleplay as--usually i'll think up a basic idea to start with and then flesh the character out as i get into the game. they're never really self-inserts but i do often project onto them a little.

so, in games like these my first character is usually an elf that specializes in elemental/destructive magic. idk why, that's just what i've always liked. in ff14 i started out as a black mage without knowing it was the hardest class to play LMAO. soooo i went into this planning to create a high elf sorcerer, but as i started writing out ideas and thinking about what to do, i ended up creating a half-high elf bard. they're transmasc/nonbinary and in my head they use he/they pronouns, but i picked the nb option in the character creator and that causes npcs to actually use they/them in dialogue which i think is so cool. i love that the character creator is so inclusive in regards to gender.

anyway, i named them elenion, which is something i took from the lord of the rings universe because i'm a huge nerd. in LOTR it's an elvish word that basically means "of the stars". here's a couple screenshots i took when i first started. let's just ignore the fact that this hairstyle clips into elf ears (and also that the face preset is from a mod i downloaded).

i didn't really give him a tragic backstory or even the most interesting story haha--i'm wanting to do something bigger and angstier with another character on a second playthrough when i'm more familiar with the lore and world of the game. and i'll probably also end up changing or expanding on some things about this character later, but for now i just kind of made a normal guy with normal problems. i had this idea that his father, a human who attracted the attention of a beautiful elf woman, was also a bard and was a very successful musician in his youth. so elenion has always shared his father's passion and dreamed of being like him, being able to effortlessly tell incredible tales and inspire crowds of people through song, but no matter how much he studies and practices he never feels good enough. if he seems confident it's usually just because he's gotten really good at faking it. he's also pretty reserved and often avoids having to talk about himself by asking a lot of questions. see, i kind of wanted to specifically find a way to not roleplay the usual sort of loud, flirty, goofy bard, lol. not that i dislike those kinds of characters or anything though!

however, bards are meant to be super charismatic, witty, and persuasive and of course the game strongly encourages that with the dialogue options and skill bonuses you get. so my way of explaining this is to have elenion be a bit like raine from the owl house, in that they may be shy, but they're very firm in their ideals and are no pushover when it comes to protecting themself or their allies. they're clever and have a snarky side to them, and they're genuinely friendly and caring in a way that gives them a sense of quiet charisma. which reminds me that one of the spells i gave them at the start was sleep, and it's made me imagine that when they were a kid they tried calming a crying baby by playing a lullaby on their lute and accidentally ended up casting their first spell.

oh, and, i also wasn't really sure at first where in the world i wanted elenion to come from but i decided on something pretty quickly after getting multiple of those dialogue options suggesting that the protagonist is baldurian! i pictured them growing up in a somewhat small town with their family but moving to baldur's gate as an adult, hoping that if they left the comfort of their home and started to journey out into the world a little they'd eventually find their spark and become the bard they wanted to be. unfortunately they've had little luck so far because even after all this time they can't see that maybe their whole fixation on trying to be just like their father and achieve the exact same kind of success that he had is holding them back. the fact that their father died the year after they moved away hasn't helped either. and now, in the middle of traveling to a historical site that they'd wanted to see in person and use as inspiration for a song, they've been abducted by mindflayers and are struggling with the massive upheaval that this has brought into their relatively mundane life.

so. yeah. my tav for this first playthrough may not be the most unique or exciting character but i like him! i like figuring out what kind of choices he'll make and thinking up new ideas for what he likes and how he sees the world. also, i find it funny how in your reply to my ask you said you thought you'd be into gale but then you fell for astarion--because i thought that i'd be all over the edgy, brooding, snarky vampire man, but it turns out gale is so charming and funny that i'm probably going to romance him first. i'm also pretty intrigued by shadowheart and wyll but i'm so early in the game that i can't even say who i think my overall favorite companion will be because they all seem so interesting!! even karlach despite the fact that i haven't actually met her yet, i've seen a bunch of cool gifsets of her and my brother told me he's been romancing her on his playthrough. i really need to go find her soon.

i'm sure you can tell from everything i wrote here that i am definitely enjoying the game LOL. i can already tell that there's just so many different things to do and see, that i will both need and want to do a lot of different playthroughs and that it's going to be something that sticks with me. nothing wrong with using guides and walkthroughs btw! i do it too because i'm worried about missing too many things and have the world's worst sense of direction even with a minimap. honestly i probably need to look up some guides for certain mechanics that i don't feel like i've really figured out yet. there's a sarcophagus trap in the ruins early in the game that got me SO stuck and got my whole party wiped and then i looked up a video and found out you could turn off the whole trap system by pushing a switch... i felt so stupid askjdfgf.

anyway, i think this got to be way too long of a reply so i will stop here! but if you ever wanna tell me more about your tav or anything definitely feel free to and i hope you're having an awesome day!

[scriptlgbt]

one of my recurring side characters learns along the way that they identify as nb, but when my MC gets to know them, they still use female pronouns. would it be alright if I write the change of pronouns or should I just don't use pronouns at all for them until they've come out? their name wouldn't change and no one would use incorrect pronouns after they've been told the correct ones - does writing the changing pronouns still count as offensive?

(thanks! and sorry, english isn't my first language and I have some difficulties finding the exact right words to say what I mean)

An easy way to make this work would be to just have this character explicitly (written in the text) state that they prefer she/her pronouns at a given time. That way, when readers describe the character at that point using she/her pronouns, it isn't wrong. The issue might come when readers aren't sure whether to use she/her pronouns when referring to the character in the past, once they prefer different pronouns. In this case you can add dialogue specifying what the character wants. In real life situations, this is generally a thing of, "well, these pronouns aren't what I want right now, and I currently want these pronouns. So please call me by these pronouns."

Another option is simply to have an author's note in the beginning clarifying what pronouns a reader ought to use for the character when.

Yet another option is to just have the character prefer whatever pronouns they do throughout the story. Pronouns are often seen as having certain gender associations (ie. "female pronouns") but that isn't necessarily true. Lots of nonbinary people prefer she/her or he/him and so on. And lots of nonbinary people also like multiple sets of pronouns used interchangeably (like she/they). I do want to note that there is a mild difference in she/they vs they/she - some people will format their pronouns in a way to indicate that, though they like both sets of pronouns, they want the first one listed given slight preference. This isn't the case with everyone though and it always benefits to ask for clarification.

mod nat

[friendsofmedusa]

How could you claim to know anything about the whole of trans people when you solely go off of the people who are bad, who just so happen to be trans?

I am an s/a victim, both of a cis male, and years later, of a nonbinary person. To avoid your mockery, I won't say anything about the fact that although I am still skeptical of men, I try hard not to judge, I will only say it of nonbinary people.

I am a skeptical person, and I don't trust others as quickly as I do women. I can acknowledge that there are bad people who are trans. But I'm not going to see a problem with them as a whole.

What I can't understand, I will give voice to, and what I have a problem with, I will give voice to as well. But I'm not immediately going to dismiss it because I'm angry or don't understand.

So I don't understand why TERFS or " radical feminists "—you're not radical, by the way, you're nothing new—claim to know so much about others' lives, despite the fact that they don't understand anything at all about why trans people feel the way they do so much as assume how they feel, based off of a narrow‐minded, extremist outlook that will only ever see the negative of anything that isn't immediately understood.

Standing up for women and speaking on the struggles they go through, talking about the trans people who happen to be bad, standing up for assault victims, talking about the men that are bad and what's wrong with male culture, that's not wrong, at all. I don't even need to say so, but I would like to clarify it.

But you are extremist. How can you accurately or impartially assess anyone's life—especially one you would never fully understand, even if you were supportive of it, or humble enough to try and learn about it—from a standpoint like that?

How can you talk so knowingly of the minds of people you don't take seriously, anyway?

First of all, I'm deeply sorry about what you went through, that is horrendous and I hope you are well and recovering.

Now, addressing the rest of your ask.

I don't base my opinion of trans people solely on the bad ones, that would be stupid. I've met plenty, both on the internet and in real life, who were good people. And I do believe there are some genuine transexual people, whose dysphoria is so severe that transitioning is the only valuable option for them.

That said, I don't believe in the concept of gender. Or, I think it's a concept we should actively work to dismantle instead of enforcing it, as it's the main tool men use to keep us women under their heel. Gender is nothing but a stinky pile of conservative and downright sexist gender roles and expectations, why shouldn't I be against it when it's actively harming my life as a woman?

And before you say something along the lines of "But trans people are redefining the gender binary yadda yadda yadda", let me just say: no, they are not.

There is literally nothing as sexist as claiming to be of the opposite sex because you don't conform to society's expectations of how you should dress, act, speak. I should've transitioned years ago if that were the case.

But moving on.

I don't see a problem with the whole of trans people. I fully support their rights to housing, jobs, healthcare, you name it.

Who I have a problem with is men, aka adult human males. Reason why, scroll my blog and you'll get the gist. And trans ideology is offering men new ways to torture women.

Just look at all the inmates id-ing as trans to be moved to women's prisons. It's either one of two cases: one, there's an alarming number of rapists among trans women, and women are fucking right not to want them in their spaces; two, you can't take someone's word at face value when it comes to psychiatric disorders (because let me remind you that gender dysphoria still is a psychiatric disorder).

And when you say that radfems don't know anything about the trans experience, you are just plain wrong. Many, many of us are dysphoric women and detransitioners. We've been there, we just didn't fall down the hole of medicalisation.

And that's really the crux of it. You say I'm an extremist, and for what?

For saying we shouldn't unnecessarily medicalise children? For saying that SRSs are Doctors playing fucking Frankenstein on depserate people? For saying that therapy should be the primary form of medical care a dysphoric person should receive, instead of going straight to irreversible surgery?

If that makes me an extremist, glad to be one.

[straightbaittournament]

only the option with the lowest percentage will be eliminated! propaganda under the cut:

fitzroy angursell and pali avramapul:

I’m pretty sure even the author thought they were straight and endgame when she started writing them. Although initially Pali is portrayed as the love of Fitzroy’s life so that you think you’re going to have to put up with this straight relationship, she’s later canonically confirmed aroace with a lot of subtext around two other women, while it becomes clear in later books that Fitzroy has a growing interest in another man. Tfw you are sure they’re going to kiss by the end of the book and then it turns out that previous marriage proposals were plausibly about friendship in the first place

oscar francois de jarjayes and andre grenadier:

Okay, so this might sound kind of weird but bear with me because I really think they should count. Oscar was afab but her father gave her a boy's name and raised her as a boy (by 18th century standards) because sexism and he had 5 daughters and decided she was going to be a son because they were a noble family and he wanted a son to become a high ranking military official because they're rich so they can just do that. Oscar joins the army and becomes Marie-Antoinette's personal guard. Her and childhood best friend Andre are very close through out the series (he supports her throughout the many scandals that she has to deal with because she works for the royal family) and at the end of the series it is revealed that they are in love, but they are both killed in the war before they can actually get together. The dying before they can be together might fall into the buried straights category but they relationship also has really queer energy because throughout the series it becomes apparent that Oscar usually Does Not Vibe with only the gender she assigned at birth. She sometimes refers to herself as a woman, sometimes refers to herself as a man, but her attitude is usually basically 'I'm a man, I'm a woman, I'm both, I'm neither, stop asking'. So I think they should count as straightbait because we find out that Oscar is nonbinary and Andre loves her no matter what her gender is (and then they die before they can get together).

abbie mills and ichabod crane:

They both start out as main characters, working together since the ep. 1. Next three seasons follow the regular m/f protagonist duo pattern: they need each other's help, there's chemistry going on, there are heartwrenching scenes and dramatic sacrifices, they learn they can only truly rely on each other - so the next step is to let them be together, right? Wrong. The next step is to let lt. Mills make a final sacrifice, which on top of killing the pairing insults her as a character - suddenly from the POV protagonist she started as she's demoted to secondary character who always was just there to be the main guy's support. There are some feelings acknowledged, but no confessions or promises exchanged during the final fleeting reunion. Three-seasons-worth of build-up and then she dies.

angel and cordelia chase:

They met as characters on Buffy the Vampire Slayer, but their dynamic doesn't take off until the Angel spinoff Because the showrunners of Angel didn't go in with the idea of putting these two together, the characters' friendship was allowed to develop organically without the assumption of romance, which then made the realization of their feelings for each other more satisfying. Unfortunately the shadow of Bangel (Buffy x Angel) still held over Angel's character, so I think it was a hard sell at the time and didn't gain a lot of popularity in the years since. Both these two characters grew alongside each other, supported each other, and despite knowing that they loved each other, let each other go to pursue their destinies. A really underrated het pairing!

entrapta and hordak:

Heavily heavily heavily hinted/slow burn?

joseph cooper and amelia brand:

These two are explicitly set up as the male and female leads of the movie and shown to have a close relationship with each other, one where in any other movie I would have expected them to end up together by the end of the movie, especially since one of the central themes of Interstellar is love as a force that can change the universe. However, the two do not get together by the end of the movie and there is never any explicitly romantic scene between them.

akko kagari and andrew hanbridge:

Very typical hetero-love-interest introduction, rival vibes, aloof rich boy & headstrong "commoner" girl, learning to see each other's point of view, she dresses up for the first time in the series to sneak into his party to try to talk to him. Just classic 'ugh they're clearly gonna get together' but... they don't. Nothing romantic is ever explicit, and by s2 they're friends and that's it. there's no discussion or drama. they're good friends. literally shocked me. apparently a guy and girl who fit a bunch of romantic tropes... can just be friends

kurosaki ichigo and kuchiki rukia:

Oh man, where do I even begin? So, for some context, Bleach starts when Rukia (a shinigami) gets critically injured saving Ichigo from a monster, and she transfers her powers to him so he can finish it off. Instead of transferring half her powers as planned, however, she transfers all of them, which forces Ichigo to take over her job as a shinigami. During this time period, Rukia... lives in his closet. Yeah. The entire first arc of the manga is dedicated to their relationship, and while a lot of it is playful banter, Rukia's presence in Ichigo's life fundamentally changes it for the better. Rukia then gets kidnapped by the rest of the shinigami who aren't at all happy she gave her powers to a human, and the main plot ensues from there. Throughout the story, Rukia and Ichigo constantly save each other when they're at their worst. When Rukia thinks she deserves to die, Ichigo is there to tell her she deserves to live. When Ichigo is in a funk about his superpowered evil side, Rukia is there to snap him out of it (something his canon love interest explicitly realises she was unable to do). They share a sun/moon motif for crying out loud, and yet like that last sentence said... they don't end up together, but with other people instead. Yeah. No shade to the canon ships, but Ichiruki is peak straightbaiting, honestly. They have a lot of banter/chemistry, fundamentally change eachother's lives for the better, save each other when they're at their lowest, and have a very deliberate sun/moon dichotomy... but they both end up paired off with different characters instead asdfghkl

bow and glimmer:

They didn’t get together until the VERY END of the whole show and even then it was a little ambiguous (was it a BFF “I love you?” 🤷🏼‍♀️)

hardwon surefoot and moonshine cybin:

They’re DnD characters so they’re bi disasters canonically. Just not for each other The best way to describe Hardshine is this: “They’re soulmates” “Platonically or romantically?” “Yes” Literally they care so much about each other. Moonshine cured Hardwon’s vampirism by reincarnating him into a half elf and he told her “I’ve been half elf ever since I met you”. Moonshine is a high level elf druid which means she’ll basically live forever and literally the most emotional scene where she asks her mom “How long do half-elves live?”. Hardwon was always a fish out of water who never really fit in until he found Moonshine and the Crick. Are they dating? Queerplatonic partners? Siblings? Idk man they’re just in love it doesn’t matter how.

good luck everyone! now go vote!