#they aren't here to make you feel validated

[lilithofpenandbook]

Out of everything that traumatised Neville, Snape isn't one of them. If he is, that's not because Snape is abusive, it's because Neville is literally weak. That's not an insult, that's his flaw- being unnecessarily scared of everything. The other children are not afraid of Snape himself. They're more afraid of the consequences of angering Snape (house points lost, detentions, scoldings) rather than Snape as a person.

Neville's feelings are shockingly enough, not valid. Those feelings of fear, that cowardice? A flaw. Just as much as arrogance, spitefulness, being overly afraid is a flaw and in his case makes him a danger to others, as does his clumsiness and forgetfulness. Now, forgetfulness isn't something you can choose, I'd call it a weakness more than a flaw, but at the same time there are ways to manage it. But the cowardice? That's a flaw that needs to be corrected.

Neville's trauma comes from his family. His uncle is awful to him, as is his grandmother, and seeing his parents in such a state is enough to mess anyone up. He comes from a messed up family. It does not come from Snape.

People also like to say that "Oh look his boggart is Snape even though his parents were tortured!!!" but here's the thing: Neville was probably never even present.

He probably never ever even saw his parents tortured. He knows what happened, but was most likely never a witness. If he was present would he have actually lived? Of course not. So of course he's not going to have that as his worst fear. It's not going to come to mind in school. Not when he just got grilled by Snape.

Neville's been through traumatic events, that's undeniable. But Snape is not one of them. Snape isn't obliged to be nice to Neville. Snape's job when it's Neville is, by some point, just making sure Longbottom doesn't kill them all. Neville's cowardice and clumsiness aren't reasons to coddle him. If I was teaching Potions, I'd have kicked Neville out by second year- no way am I risking a whole class because one child can't follow basic instructions.

Neville's family is the real problem in Neville's story. They're supposed to look after him and care for him. If we're going to be talking about this boy's trauma, we need to discuss how he was more alarmed at the thought of his grandmother being his boggart than Snape was to the point that he didn't mention her, Lupin just mentioned her to give Neville an idea of how to sort out the boggart

And let's also talk about why Lupin decided to essentially completely humiliate a colleague that is already not respected by the children. Making his likeness look ridiculous is so petty and unprofessional. Lupin could have easily told Neville to do literally anything else that would have made the situation funny without making a mockery of Snape, but he didn't. He chose to suggest the grandmother's clothes to humiliate the real Snape- look at what happened at Christmas when Snape got that hat from his cracker, he was clearly upset by it, he clearly knew why the boys were laughing-and not only that, he prompted Neville through the entire thing. He didn't simply say "imagine Snape in your grandmother's clothes", he dragged out the entire thing to make it as ludicrous as possible (like, why the handbag? Why did he prompt Neville to also describe her handbag? Obviously to add to the ridiculousness). That's his colleague. He's leading the kids to disrespect his colleague, their teacher. When you read that scene, it's fairly obvious Snape was likely to be Neville's boggart due to him literally making a remark that embarrassed Neville seconds prior that Neville visibly reacted to (and in all honesty, it was a fair warning. Sarcastic, but fair- Neville should not be entrusted with anything dangerous and DADA involves doing things that could hurt others). If you want to talk about the boggart scene, acknowledge how Lupin had a full conversation with Neville to prompt him to imagine something to humiliate Snape with. "Oh, it's just a boggart" But it's not. Something like that is going to be spread, gossiped about, it will ruin whatever little respect the kids have for Snape. Lupin was behaving absolutely unprofessionally and honestly when I looked at it just now, it made me feel a little sick the way Lupin was talking.

And I'm not even going to discuss Trevor The Toad, I've already gone on about him multiple times before. It's probably the most misunderstood and misused scene against Snape. Like, it only takes two seconds to realise that if Snape's intention was to hurt or kill Trevor, he would have just squished Trevor when Trevor was reduced into a tadpole (was it a tadpole?). As it was, he didn't even leave Trevor as a tadpole and make Neville make the counter-potion, he administered it himself and was specifically mad that Hermione helped Neville after being told not to. Once again, Snape's not being abusive or a bully for the sake of it- he's trying to be a teacher. It's the kind of thing you hate as a child but grow up to realise that actually, the adult had a point. Even if it seemed unfair at that moment.

Anyway, people geniunely don't give a shit about Neville's trauma, and when they do, it's to use it against Snape without acknowledging that actually, it's far worse that his Boggart could have easily been his grandmother but Lupin didn't allow it (he didn't even question why he was so afraid of her). It's far worse that his uncle treated him so badly. It's far worse that the people who were supposed to raise Neville were cruel to him. And it's far worse that McGonagall, who IS supposed to care for Neville, is just as mean to him as Snape is.

The fact that people (Marauders Stans) only care about Neville's trauma to bash Snape. It's always Snape was his boggart never McGonagall risked him dying twice and humiliated him in front of everyone. Or his grandma treated him like shit and his great uncle nearly killed him several times. They literally don't care about Neville. It's Snape fans who actually care more about him (even if they don't care about him) because they don't treat him/his trauma like a tool (which is a very low bar). I feel really sorry for him. After everything he went through, his trauma is not talked about enough.

[glisten-inthedark]

“like what episode? Because if you're talking about the episode where he confided in Will didn't he say they had arguments but nothing like that?”

season 4 episode 4, direct quote:

“Before the cops came, me and El, we…we had a bad fight. And we never fight. I mean, we fought before, but just like, silly fights, stupid fights. But, I don’t know, this one just felt more adult. Like, it…it just felt more real. Like it was a fight you can’t come back from.

The part that always rubbed me the wrong way was the way he says, “And we never fight.” He says it with some incredulity, a fair amount of conviction, with a furrowed brow, like he actually believes it before he corrects himself. And I found it weird because yes, the show itself frames El dumping him as comedic, but he’s still essentially calling the time he lied to El and she dumped him over it as “silly and stupid” which, considering that (if we take the novellas as canon) they were broken up for 3 months because of this and it seemed Mike was gonna make no effort to restart his romantic relationship with her until she kissed him and told him I love you, is just odd to me?

Even if he does admit that they’ve had “silly fights, stupid fights,” it’s nothing compared to what we’ve seen Nancy and Jonathan have, or Hopper and Joyce, or Max and Lucas. Each couple even before they got romantically together had mutual disagreements, arguments, and then for Max and Lucas specifically, they spend all of season 4 broken up and have disagreements that are so heavy and deep but just so laced with love and concern.

Mike and Eleven didn’t fight in season 2 because they barely had any screen time together, and in season 1 it was mostly Mike lashing out at El when he was upset with her and her not responding/running away/connecting to Will through the radio to prove he is alive.

In season 3, post break-up, Mike and El only argue a few times, Mike mostly just asserts concern and Max is the one who makes it an argument. The fight that I would call silly and stupid in season 3 is in the pool shed when El says she makes her own rules and Mike finds out El spied on him. That one is also played a bit comedic and ironically it becomes a fight that they make the group’s issue so it once again becomes more of a Mike v Max fight. Yet while it’s still silly and stupid (with some validity—El invaded the boys’ privacy and she’s also wanting to assert more independence and spend more time with Max) it’s still a fight.

Does any of this make sense? To me, his reflexive conviction to say that they “never fight“ feels like a parallel to El lying throughout her letter that everything is perfect. 

Addendum, while analyzing this scene I noticed on the wall above the bed and above Mike there’s a picture of a mountain with a faint but definitely there rainbow across it.

Hello!!! Oh now I see what you mean! Thanks for the clarification because I was confused.

Yes, there's a lot to unpack here.

Firstly what you said about Mike stating that they never fight. Like you said in your previous ask, it feels like both of them make too much of an effort to hide part of themselves so that no conflict arises because of it.

Couples fight and argue and have disagreements, and while too much of it is unhealthy, hiding yourself and not standing your ground can be as unhealthy because then there's no compromise.

Secondly, the more I think about it, the more I start to suspect that even if it was subconscious, Mike seems to want someone (Will) to tell him he and El aren't working out.

The fact he tells him as a fight he and El can't go back from is telling and I just an insight it didn't even occur to me until now.

I know the can't say he love her spiel has been addressed thousands of times at this point but it didn't even occurred to me at this point that Mike tells Will he doesn't think he can come back from it, meaning, he doesn't think there's anything he can do to fix it.

Now, if we think about the fact that El told him he doesn't say he loves her and he tries to gaslight her and say he does say it, and that he knows what the argument was about and why she was so sad and desperate, you'd think that if he actually did love her like he'd later claim, that he knows is something they can come back from if he's honest with her and tells her what he knows she wants to hear.

The only reason why he'd think is a fight they can't come back from is if he'd known he can't say something to her he knows he doesn't feel.

If he had known he loved her - that he loved her from the moment he saw her -, he wouldn't assume this is something they can't patch up because all he had to do was tell her the truth.

Holy shit, how the fuck did I not think about this before? It feels so obvious now.

[pseudowho]

Good god, I thought I was the only one that would literally roll my eyes and exit the page at child like descriptions of genitalia in fanfic. Do you have any insight as to why that has become a thing?

Side note: You absolutely rock in a cool older sister way

Warning! Please do feel free to block me if this is not to your liking. Personal theories and opinions ahead that may well make you hate me!

I have quite a lot of theories, but! all of them are theories, interspersed with my personal opinions, and none of them are pleasant. Here they are...

The trend of hyperfetishisation of, and normalisation of sexualising extreme youth/barely legal young women, has possibly created a push towards extra young 'women' being viewed pornographically. Those who are young in our communities may often therefore feel their burgeoning sexuality is validated, and seek to reflect images of extreme youth in their depictions of pornography (smut).

The rise of labiaplasty; once more, teaching young women that their perfectly normal bodies are disgusting has paid off. I can say with firsthand experience that the amount of women paying money for surgery to make their genitalia as 'barely there' as possible (almost like a child's) is climbing.

The trend towards hypermasculinity, and traditional male!dom, female!sub roles in the heterosexual community where historically the man has been significantly older, and this was considered normal. This has created a push towards 'daddy' culture (in an older man, and much younger girl/woman, way). This will ultimately increase the push for women and girls to be portrayed as younger in porn/smut.

Women's bodies have, throughout the ages, been expected to fall into fashion trends, as if we are clothes to be worn by men. Pin-up girls were expected to have a certain shape (the in fashion shape!) to cater to men. Noughties 'cocaine/heroin chic' builds were typically the ones that would be seen on the arms of the most famous men.

And now? The hyperfetishisation of youth is back. So our society is now creating a progressive push towards extra young women being pushed to the foreground as aspirational partners.

What's even filthier about this, is it has allowed more and more people to feel ethically validated in 'blurring the line' between girls and women, and it appeals to young girls and young women, at the time in their lives when they're often most likely to seek validation.

Society is taking advantage of young women and girls wanting to be wanted, by telling them that it's okay for a barely legal girl to be pursued by a much older man.

In short: I worry about what I feel is a concerning rise in the push towards extremely young women being the 'partner of choice'. There seems to be a patriarchal push back towards women remaining less powerful in more submissive societal roles and in partnerships with men, and it's being packaged as 'womens' choice'.

I'm not saying that young women and girls being able to explore their sexuality is wrong; not at all. I fully support it. I just always ask the question: who is leading this, and why, and who is in control here?

Not all men are as feminist as we write them on Tumblr. Not all men are how we write Nanami Kento. As well most of us know. Which is why we're here...writing men who will be dominant/take care of us while respecting us fully. Because deep down, a lot of us feel that this man is a fantasy.

Older women aren't bitter than men our own age often want younger women; we're suspicious of their reasons for it. Is it because she's less self confident? That you perceive her as easier to mould? That she's less likely to see all of your red flags? Hmm.

Love,

-- Haitch xxx

[hard--headed--woman]

i love my friends but hearing my tif pal complaining about how gay men are a "toxic and bigoted community" because 90% of them "wouldn't date a trans guy" which is "transphobic" and "need to change" makes me so angry. she also said "it's because most of them are problematic and see trans men as women" and "i don't care if it's about vaginas cause they have a genital preference but not wanting to date someone because they're trans is disgusting and most gay men are like this". please girl stop calling gay men problematic for being gay and go date a straight guy (or don't. you'll be happier)

[starshower1215]

Beware of my own rant, because this post reached back into my mind and pulled out my adoration for Blitzstone and my own viewpoint as an avid supporter of Blitzstone's ambiguous nature.

Reading Blitzstone content like this always gets me trembling with some deep feeling of internal satisfaction. You have it completely correct, Aestophobia (or Summer, I mean). I recall an analysis post I had made about them, I believe making a connection between the fandom's desire for Riordan's confirmation of Blitzstone as romantic and a need for external validation of something (in a sense, that isn't articulated as well as I'd like it to be). I had detailed all about how there was no need for a kissing scene or a confession scene, or even any explicit scene which marks the two as "canon." For multiple reasons. For one, what if the nature of their relationship isn't romantic? Or what if it is romantic, but they don't prefer kissing or such? That exists as a romantic relationship, it's just on the asexual spectrum. A lack of kissing doesn't invalidate the romance. Or another, why do we even need such scenes to confirm someone's love for someone else, when it is so clearly shown, as Summer said?

I never cease to get frustrated when I remember how somebody responded to that post, in the most point-missing manner, saying that "kisses are fun to read." It makes me want to tear myself apart every time I think of it, because that wasn't the damn point. From my perspective, just that sentence had cheapened my analysis, and my entire viewpoint, to such a shallow response. If you like romantic Blitzstone, that's fantastic. I do, too, I think it's a really fun thing to explore. But there's so much to be learned from the fact that they aren't confirmed to be romantic in nature. There's so much room for so much else, and in reality, "romantic" is merely a label, and while labels clear things up for sure, they also limit. I really believe we all should be more open-minded towards how the author has truly portrayed them, and really, a lot of characters in general by a lot of authors, instead of viewing them through our biased lenses. That's completely fine to do so, but it has to be kept within fanon territory. Blitzen and Hearth canonically love each other any way, it's incredibly apparent. The only thing we're really searching for here is the label, which isn't necessary.

And then on top of that, I just want to add that a romantic relationship is built off of the foundation of a friendship. This is why romance is something "more than friends." But that also means that a lot of the love in romance is really just pure love you find in a friendship, too. Hearth and Blitz have a lot of chemistry, but they could, literally, be friends. Not "just friends," as they obviously have a deeper connection, but truly, romance isn't the only incredibly intimate connection out there.

ngl one of Rick Riordan's weirdest choices was not having Blitz and Hearth be married. like Richard they're married, they have more chemistry and are more natural and at ease with each other than almost any other Riordanverse characters, they're not made for each other's environments but they both have ways to get around it when they need to and they're both more comfortable mentally in Midgard's middle ground anyway, they're outcasts in their societies, they see the strengths and beauties in each other that nobody else does

literally in every way they're the couple ever

[knifearo]

reminder to everyone that trauma IS a valid reason to use aspec labels. "i don't know if i'm aspec or just traumatized—" protip!!! you can be both!!!! the thing about labels is that they're not immutable states of being that you're born as. they're literally just words that we use to describe our lived experiences, and if asexual or aromantic or any related label feel relevant to the way that you experience attraction, whether it's a result of trauma or not, they're there for you to use. having trauma as a cause does not invalidate the fact that someone is experiencing lesser or no attraction. that's still the aspec experience babey. use the label if you want it's there for you <3

[runawaymun]

Have you ever just stared at an idea and couldn't write it? You want to buy it's so you tailored that no one will read it, in fact your scared that people who ship the rare pair might be disappointed with it.

If so how do you deal with it because I am struggling. I lost a lot of my creative drive because I feel like no one wants to hear my stories. Has that ever happened to you?

Sorry to come in and like have a big sad in you inbox but I love your work and I always wonder if other people with such amazing work feel this way too.

Ah, nonnie, you sent this in a little while ago and I was laid flat, so I'm so sorry that it has taken me this long to reply!

But yes, this has happened to me! I think it's very natural. The only way you can get past it is by saying fuck it tbh. Write what you want to write; write what makes you happy!

I thought Stars was going to be way too hyperspecific to me. I hadn't really seen anything like it, and platonic OC & Canon Character fics as a whole rarely see any popularity, but I wrote it with my whole chest and surprisingly it resonated with a lot of people. That happened with Brimbrond (there were like, I think three people who shipped it at the time I started writing Partake), and now with my Zhongli x Baizhu fics, Genshin is such a large fandom and it is such a rarepair. Zhongli is attached to one of the most popular fics in the fandom and Baizhu is simply rarely ever written about. But I love them. And I feel that way about Dehya and Baizhu, too, and plan on writing stuff for them and making art.

Truly the only way to get past this is to write what you love. You don't even have to post it. Write what you want to read. It helps if you can find even one other person who ships the ship and likes your work, and the two of you can scream about it together. I know it really sucks when it feels like no one's reading your work. I've had flop fics myself, and it happens especially with art since people just don't reblog as much as they used to. It can be really discouraging. But you have to do it for you.

If it's really bothering you, then maybe take a step back and just don't post anything. You don't have to post it at all. Write it without posting. Let it be Bad, even. Put your whole chest into it, write whatever tropes you want, skip around. If you're bored then don't write it. If you aren't having fun, don't write it. Skip all the uninteresting parts and just write the shippy nonsense you want to read.

I guess what I keep wanting to say and keep repeating ad nauseam is that you really, really cannot be writing for others. Again, believe me, I know it's disheartening when something flops and you feel like no one wants to read your work, but that's where you have to decide that you're going to write for you.

And if you're burnt out and absolutely nothing is fun, then take a step back and just read. Like, fanfic sure, but I mean a physical book. It'll exfoliate your brain. Read for fun. If you aren't enjoying the book then don't be afraid to DNF it. Play a good story-based video game if that's your thing. Watch a show or a movie and really pay attention to it. When I'm lacking inspiration and everything Feels Bad sometimes I just need to get some input. As it was described to me years ago: your writing brain is like a well. You have to pour good stuff into it. Nothing is written in a vacuum, and if you're struggling to make anything come out it may be because your well is empty, and you just need to top it up a bit.

Anyway, yeah. Enjoy some good fiction. Kill the critic inside your head. Write for you. I am pretty much terrified 100% of the time when I am writing and posting that it won't be good, it'll flop, no one will like it, etc. etc. But you absolutely cannot let that paralyze you into not creating. Don't let the critic in your head win. Tell yourself it doesn't have to be good. Repeat that over and over. It's okay if it's bad. It's okay if it's bad. No one even has to see it.

Plus, when it comes to rough drafts --- accept that it is going to be bad. You are just shoveling sand into a box to build castles with later.

If you want to post, please try to remember that it is a gift to the community. It is a privilege that we get to read other people's work. For FREE. For FUN. And make friends doing it! You do not owe anyone anything. At risk of sounding like a broken record: please, please, please write for you and no one else. If you choose to share it that is up to you, and the rest of us say fucking thank you. The inner critic never goes away. That fear never goes away. I'm so serious. But it's fake. It's so fake. It doesn't matter. Imagine it in a silly, stupid little voice (mine sounds like a whiny kylo ren or sometimes like Donald Trump, and then it's easy to dispel). Tell it to shut up. If it's like 'this is awful' then say 'that's okay. I'm having fun', and if it's like 'no one will read it,' then say 'that's okay, i'm writing it for me,' and then write what you want to write, because you like it and want to read it. Fuck it you ball.

[rainbowtvz]

*grits teeth*

i do not want to discourse here or anywhere anymore but it does kind of affect me as a transmasc bi person when i see shit that indirectly misgenders me and implies that bisexuality is an icky no good word and identity and you have to be bi and gay and bi and lesbian and bi and straight at the same time or support them or you're an evil stinky stinky terf like... hello where am, i

[katboykirby]

"Low quality" is entirely subjective. It's totally understandable and expected that players won't all enjoy every facet of the game equally. You might think that certain content is "low quality" but other players will absolutely love it. I've personally seen plenty of people complaining about how much they hate WW and FabSnap, but I've also seen just as many people gushing about how much they love those features. This isn't ever going to be a good metric to use when discussing game development because literally every player will have different tastes and opinions. Not discrediting your feelings about it, just saying that it's not an objective measure.

As for the point about dating characters in a dating game - this is an issue that probably could have been mitigated somewhat by giving the new feature a different name. If they had called it "Private Moments" or "Private Time" with your favourite character, that might have helped. I've seen plenty of people making this point, and while I understand where you're coming from, it's still just a bonus feature. It's optional, it's not mandatory for progressing in the main game, you're not obligated to buy it. There's still romantic moments in the Main Story, and in Pop Quiz events, and in Devilgrams. There's still kisses and romance with the characters in the rest of the game. Believe me, I would love if they leaned harder into the romance aspect. It's one of the things I've personally told them myself, both in Player Feedback Surveys and when talking to the staff face-to-face. But the idea that they're locking the romance and dating behind a paywall is simply false. They aren't removing romance from the main game, it's still there.

As for Lucifer and Mammon being the first two characters available...you don't think that has anything to do with them literally being #1 and #2 in the character lineup? They tend to release these things in order, which means Lucifer first, then the rest of the brothers, then Diavolo and Barbatos, etc. Just like the release schedule for the Character Songs. And multiple sets of merch. And so on, and so forth. If they're doing it in batches of two, then we can expect Levi and Satan to come next (or perhaps Levi, Satan, and Asmo will be released together, then Beel and Belphie as a pair, etc) like they're literally just going through the characters in order. The fact that Lucifer and Mammon are also the most popular is coincidental.

Anyway.

Yes, they can definitely improve this feature by adjusting the price or providing more options. Yes, people's grievances are valid and no one is telling you that you're not allowed to be disappointed. Yes, I would also love it if they leaned harder into the romance in all aspects of the game. But at the end of the day, it's a completely optional bonus feature. It doesn't impact the gameplay and it's not required for story progression. It's just a fun little side thing that you can get if you want to get it. And if you don't want to, you don't have to. It's all good.

Here's the link to Solmare's contact page, where players can email the Support Team directly. I encourage you guys to actually email them and let them know your thoughts. Because the concerns about prices ARE valid. The desire to see more romantic elements in the game is valid! I'm in complete agreement with you there! And telling Solmare directly is the best way to make your feedback heard.

Going to play Devil's Advocate (ha) here for a moment, as someone who has experience working in the industry & game development:

Remember, every single time that any new feature is added to the game (even if that new feature is "just a new artwork and phone call") it means that Solmare is -

Paying artists for the new artwork

Paying writers for the new scripts

Paying the voice actors to record the new voice lines

Paying the game devs, coders, debuggers, etc, to actually implement the new feature into the game without breaking anything

Paying for QA

Paying the translators for all the different language versions (Obey Me is currently available in 4 different languages)

Paying the localisers for all different language versions

Etc, etc

This is all on top of the monthly costs of keeping a live service mobage like OM running smoothly. Anything that isn't paid for by the players is being operated at a loss. This isn't a flaw with OM itself, this is a fact that exists on an industry-wide level.

Secondly, while any concerns about the price are entirely valid, I think that a lot of people are glossing over an important point - Solmare is not charging you $30 for a Date Ticket. Solmare is charging $30 for a BUNDLE, which includes the Date Ticket as well as 300 DP. So this is similar to all the other sales bundles that have been rolled out in the past.

And the price is consistent with the standard price for DP in Akuzon. It has always been about $30 for 300 DP, so the price has not actually changed or been increased. This is an optional, $30 bundle for 300 DP that essentially includes the Date Ticket as a bonus for free.

You're totally justified if you don't want to spend $30 on this. I'm definitely not arguing that. While I think that this feature isn't as bad as some people are saying (I never would have expected any new features to be totally free) I do think that Solmare could have rolled this out in a better way than they did.

I think that most, if not all, of the complaints would disappear if they simply offered different bundles for different price tiers. This is something they've already done in the past, even! Just give people alternatives, like...

$1.39 for the Date Ticket by itself

$10 for 100 DP + Date Ticket

$20 for 200 DP + Date Ticket

$30 for 300 DP + Date Ticket

And so on. I think this probably would have alleviated many people's concerns, and would have made the new feature more accessible for more players.

Now, I don't think that harassing the official Twitter account is the way to go about communicating your thoughts. There's a difference between genuine constructive criticism/feedback given in good faith, and needlessly rude hate comments. "Fuck you, hope your game goes broke" doesn't help anybody, and will only make Solmare less likely to listen to the EN fandom. They've dealt with a lot of harassment from Western fans before, including death threats, and you aren't communicating anything useful or constructive by sending hate to the EN social media account.

Solmare has a Support team that you can email, if you have feedback and you actually want to reach the JP game devs. If you want to let them know that you want other/more affordable options for the new Date Ticket feature, this is the best way to do that. Just remember to be civil, since harassment and hate mail are extremely likely to simply be thrown out before it reaches the hands of anyone in charge.

[bi-chimneyy]

I think we all need to go back and relearn what canon means

[la0hu]

masha broke a bowl by accident in the kitchen and when i brought her the broom and dustpan and asked her if she was okay, she looked at me, straight-faced, and said, "no, i'm not okay." and then i realized she meant that she still feels emotionally abused by the house somehow, and i felt a flash of anger because i am so sick of her shit, and i rephrased, "are you physically injured?" and she gave me another look and said "i'm physically okay." and then when connie asked from her room "what's going on?" masha replied "nothing new." like fuck off ohhhhhhhh my god

[blackvahana]

Ugh god.

Yeah I KNOW old man

Anyway. As I was saying. Ugh god. Fucking. Grey's pregnancy hormones getting thrown at me. And by pregnancy hormones I mean this is literal rut-level internal "my body is telling me it's TIME and something HAS to be created"

"God is speaking to me and telling me to do (what I do)" I already knew that was the story of his life and this feeling is so familiar... At least it's not the "God's telling me to drown and consume the fabric of this city full of people" urge that comes about every thousand years or so but like. Theres a star in me and it's emanating a message just like the beginning of. things

[aeide-thea]

very much an off-the-cuff post so there may well be bugs, i'm still workshopping my thinking here, but—

i seem to see posts fairly regularly in which a member of some marginalized group A is objecting to attempts by less marginalized group B to make connections between discrimination against A and harm experienced by B (the main thing i have in mind here is when people attempt to align themselves with visibly-trans people by pointing out the ways that transphobic legislation also impacts gnc cis people, theatrical crossdressing, &c, but there are definitely also examples along other axes)—

and like. the main objection i've seen from A is 'why do they have to connect my experience to their experience in order to care about it? why can't they just agree that i shouldn't be discriminated against as a matter of, like, compassion for fellow humanity?'

and this reaction does honestly always just seem a little, idk, naive to me?? like, i don't know, it's gotten very popular ime to complain about normies' clumsy attempts to Understand Instead of Just Accepting [this feels potentially linked to like. the way many of us now prefer silently clicking 'like' to producing our own original, maybe clumsy, responses? but don't @ me on that point], probably because a lot of the time they aren't genuinely seeking to Understand but just to point out all the ways our queerness &c doesn't fit their received (unexaminedly conservative) understanding of the world, which feels to us (very reasonably!) like renewed pressure from the establishment to make ourselves fit that established framework, and so we resist… but at the same time, idk, maybe i'm just outing myself as lesser-than-thou here, but for every sort of person i was raised to distrust and have since arrived at genuine loving acceptance/appreciation of, it's involved first coming to understand their frame of reference at least a little? not to say that there isn't a place for shutting up and listening while you're still working to understand, because there definitely is! but i do kind of think this idea that's become popular in certain liberal circles of like, 'you don't have to understand my experience, you just have to respect it,' is fine and true for keeping peace with strangers, but really isn't a recipe for winning friends or influencing people—it's a recipe for keeping people at arm's length where they can't hit you. and then people turn around and want to apply that rule to coalition-building, and get all shocked-pikachu-face when others seek to identify more active points of connection.

...

another ~Radical Objection to Liberal Approaches~ i've seen, though often not specifically in this context (of discussing the way attempts to oppress A have knock-on effects for B), is like—'there's no point in deconstructing their logic because it's fundamentally illogical! insert that sartre quote abt anti-semites!' and like. no, there's absolutely no point in debating their logic with them. but fundamentally when people assert a logical resistance to bigoted positions they are not doing it to Own The Bigots, imo, or at any rate shouldn't be; they're (we're) doing it to reaffirm the basis of their/our own camp's position, namely, we see your knee-jerk fears and reject them; we substitute instead a patient allegiance to logic, that reasons its way into compassion.

that said, obviously there's a conversation to be had here about, like, platforming bad positions, and to what extent deconstructing them is implicitly platforming them! but. i do think that complaining that logic won't win over bigots is missing the very fundamental point that the logic isn't for the bigots: it's for us. we're talking to ourselves; we're affirming ourselves. and yeah, we need to understand that this sort of intra-party discussion doesn't, on its own, constitute sufficient activism! messages need to be communicated beyond the bounds of the party! but i do think i disagree that there's no place for it.

[xenoshadow13]

you really should take the matter over fictional content more seriously because one day you could actually really someone out there over what you think is just harmless fun

you might laugh right now but you won't find it so funny when you're dropped by a former friend over it :/

As I've once said to another anon, I rather not be pulled into this nonsense over fucking fiction. It's nothing but a very stupid shitstorm that should have NEVER gotten this bad in the first place.

And because I know there will be folks out there who will get on my case for this, no, just kindly fuck off and leave me alone. I refuse to be dragged into a shitstorm all because some folks out there want to throw a hissy fit at others enjoying ANY sort of fictional content that THEY find uncomfortable.

I said these before in another post and I shall say it again because I feel it's needed. Putting this under readmore tho cuz post getting rather long here.

It's okay to feel upset over certain fictional content & interests, but that does not mean it's okay for you to act as if those who enjoy said stuff are horrible people. You're allowed to feel however you want over certain content, but for fuck's sake please just use that block/mute/whatever and move on with your fucking life. No need to announce to the world how much this or that makes you uncomfortable okay.

It's YOUR job to curate your own internet experience, NOT US STRANGERS. Most of us will do our best to tag certain shit to make it easier for others to avoid content but the system here isn't perfect so stuff is bound to slip by regardless. But even then, it's still YOUR job to curate your own internet experience. Again, a lot of us fellow online folks will do our best to tag certain content to make this a little easier for you, but that doesn't mean it's our job to cater to you.

News flash people, everyone has trauma and everyone deals with it differently. You're allowed to feel however you want over with anything regarding your trauma but that does not give you the fucking right to act as if only YOUR experiences and how YOU deal with YOUR trauma is "right". What's that? Do you find how this or that person deals with their trauma to be really weird? Alright. That's okay. You think so-and-so doesn't count and that gives you the right to treat them however you want for it? Yeah no. You can fuck off with that mindset there.

Everyone is bound to unwittingly do something that will make you and others uncomfortable but that doesn't make them some horrible person. So please take a chill pill and not jump the gun so soon on others solely because of that. Not to say that you're not allowed to feel however you do but for fuck's sake 1) a lot of us are socially awkward folks who struggle with recognizing social cues and such and 2) it's not easy to read tone and such over text. :|

Alrighty. This is getting long enough as it is and uhm starting to get a bit tough to not go off completely here so just gonna stop.

But yeah. If you have a problem with any of this then go right ahead and hit that unfollow button there. You will not be missed. :)

[unproduciblesmackdown]

already thinking "and by 'religious' really i mean 'christian'" re: how the term "religion" is not really useful when it's largely like, from a christian perspective, what is considered "equivalent" of christianity, see: perhaps a "rival"/obstacle to some person or group being considered christian....and even if not thinking about converting anyone, resulting in some at best misinterpretation / misrepresentation based on framing it through/as [element of christianity] and limiting of any more accurate language

like how tumblr recommends me a post about someone thinking about "religion" in general and concluding that it's Weird and perhaps Wrong for anyone who is a "true believer" in their religion(tm) to Not be proselytizing / trying to Convert everyone. like yeah why isn't everyone being an evangelical christian, they ought to be, benevolently informing all those around them that they're going to hell, otherwise. don't see any problem with this conclusion, or that someone's getting antisemitic in the notes already in agreement, or that That's Not How This Works and you don't just know how All "Religion" works based on considering it to be an alternate version of christianity (which in itself doesn't All work like that either)

[somekindafairy]

i have a family member who i feel is just so susceptible to certain scams and idk. its like all these people telling you how to get rich, if you just give them money they will tell you the tried and true method to get rich, you can become a millionaire if you just give them money and come to their seminar and...

idk just she talks about it and is so excited and it feels so sketchy and idk how to talk to her about it.