#they are very chaotic and it makes me very happy

[cheeseceli]

The Night We Met

Pairing: Hwang Hyunjin x Gn!reader

Genre: fluff, angst, strangers to lovers, second chance, fic (2.8k words)

Prompt: “I had all and then most of you, some and now none of you. Take me back to the night we met."

Warnings: both of them cry at some point, heartbreak, insecurities, party (?), Han makes a cameo, happy ending

A/n: when the hardest part of writing is finding the right layout | daily click

I had all

Hyunjin knew more than to trust Han Jisung. Of course, he loved Han as one would love a brother, and he would trust his life to his friend if needed, but he should've known to not trust Han to stay put during the party. Simply because Jisung was nowhere to be found and Hyunjin was now holding two glasses of drink in the middle of unknown faces.

Great.

Trying to get a hold of his friend, Hyunjin navigated the sea of strangers. "I'll stay with you all the time. It will be fun." Honestly, how did he even believe his friend at all? Throughout all the time he looked for him, he made a mental note of never going out with Han again.

Finding a balcony, Hyunjin thought his friend could be there. He probably ran out of social battery and ran away from the crowd. Yeah, that could be it. Even better, as Hyunjin himself couldn't stand being in that party anymore. Maybe they both could just put an end to the night and finally go home.

Hyunjin even smiled at the thought, only to see an empty balcony when he opened the door. He was not going home any time soon apparently.

With the not so optimistic thought, he leaned on the wall and sat down, sighing. That was not how he thought his night was going to look like. Now he was with two cups of a horrible drink, sitting on the dirty floor, shivering because of the cold breeze and -

"There are some blankets in the sofa if you want."

He turned his head quite fast, almost dripping the liquid on the cup into his clothes, to the direction of the voice. You were sitting in the corner of the balcony, where the lights couldn't reach properly. He couldn't see your figure, but as he didn't recognise your voice, he probably didn't even know you to begin with.

"Uh... Thank you" he got up off his spot and went in the direction of the said couch, which was fairly close to where you were sat. There were some blankets in there, and they were surprisingly clean. Hyunjin glanced at you only to see you weren't looking at him anymore, instead facing the view and covering your body with a fabric he believes you took from the couch. "What are you doing?"

You looked at him again. He didn't recognise your face, which proves the fact that he really didn't know you before, but he's sure he won't ever forget you after tonight. You were unfairly beautiful.

"I'm just taking a break from the party" you say nonchalantly "Things can get overwhelming rather quickly there."

Hyunjin chuckled; he knew the feeling very well. Actually, he was drowned in the sensation of "overwhelm" just five minutes before. Funnily enough, he was feeling way better now. Refreshed, even. He sat on the floor, back on the sofa, while he covered his legs with one of the blankets "I know what you mean. The ambience was... Chaotic, to say the least. I'm Hyunjin, by the way."

You smiled and God, he wished he could be the reason to so many of your future smiles. And he was, in fact. That night was only the beginning of a "you" that meant two. The only difference would be that instead of finding yourselves in boring parties, you'd purposely go to each other every cold night, just so you could share a blanket under the starry night.

You would admire the view, he would look at you, and he felt like he had it all right there.

And some of you

But not every night was about staying awake under the moon. Some were actually used to sleep, and how Hyunjin despised those were inexplicable.

At the beginning, he thought he just didn't want to close his eyes when he could be with you instead. That stopped when he convinced you of sharing a bed almost every night. Then he would hug your figure and sleep with a smile on his lips. Sweet dreams would fill his brain until he had to wake up, only to find you in his arms and have the first smile of his day.

However, at some point, the night became full of terrors. Maybe it was that one night where he had a bad dream, where he could feel you slipping away from his fingers. Where no "I'm sorry" or "I love you" convinced you to stay. Where your eyes were still filled with love and admiration, yet you turned your back and went away. Amidst his tears and the dreadful pain in his chest, he felt realisation. The moment he completely lost you. And to wake up to an empty bed was not the confirmation he needed.

"Y/n?" he whispered his voice still too weak to actually speak. That could not be it. He repeated himself, louder. "Y/n?"

He felt his lungs unable to breathe. No no no no no no. There was no way he lost you that easily, that he lost you at all. The moment he tried to get out of bed in a failed attempt to go after you, he shattered down into the floor. It all felt too dark. Too real.

"Hyune?" he heard your voice on the doorstep, now your footsteps coming closer. Thank God. "Hyune, look at me."

You kneeled down next to him, holding his face. Your touch immediately melted him down and he had no other reaction than to hold you as close as he could, like his life depended on that. He could feel your heart beat and your fingers caressing his hair. He could hear your reassuring voice and how your breathing was calming him down. You were there. No matter what was going on inside his head, you were there. With him. Nowhere else. And Hyunjin really swears he did his best to focus on that, but it didn't completely work.

Somewhere in his being, he didn't feel you as completely as he used to. Maybe it was just his inner voice, but, since that night, he was affirmative that he could feel you slipping away. Even if you reassured him of your love, he was still scared. You still looked at him with love when you left on that cursed night after all. Which made him think that maybe it would be his fault. So he really tried as much as he possibly could, and even more. He said "I love you more". He never hesitated on apologising after a fight. He didn't even dream of losing an opportunity to kiss or hug you, especially at night. Especially when he closed his eyes to sleep and he knew he wouldn't be able to do anything if you decided to just leave.

In those moments, his dreams became prayers, asking God to let him be with you. If not forever, at least for most of it.

Some

He tried to convince himself that it wasn't his fault. It was his first time being in love, it was the first time he ever lived for love. He was still learning. At least he was willing to understand and improve, his friends said, so that should mean something. But none of those things helped him forgive himself.

He couldn't, not when he saw you crying. It wasn't the first time that the both of you argued, not the first time he made you stressed, nor the first time you made him want to rip his hair out. But it was mostly certain the first time he made you cry. And with your eyes filled with tears in front of him, he found himself lost. What on earth was he supposed to do?

He'd love to become a time traveler and just go back to where he hadn't screwed everything up. But that was impossible, wasn't it?

Hyunjin was in shock like he had never been before. What had he said? He doesn't even remember, and he doesn't think something that cruel could've come out of his lips. At least not something that he actually meant. So what did he say? Why did he say it?

Maybe he could've kneeled down next to you, just like you did for him that one night where he had a nightmare. But he remembers that, after falling to the ground, he kept on searching for you. He still wanted you to find him, he needed you to come to him. Would you want him to come any closer? Would you want him to hold you? Would you want him?

He didn't know. And in no part of his being he found the strength to find out. Maybe the fear of being rejected, even if temporarily, scared him the most. He hurt you. You had every single reason to want to scream at him, fight him, even run from him. Would Hyunjin be able to take it? If you were to break his heart, would you just scratch it or would you destroy it? Either way, he couldn't take it.

So he just stood there. He watched as you started to seek comfort in the sweater you were wearing, the one that was originally his. He saw your tears falling in the same rhythm of his unsteady breathing. And he doesn't know when his knees failed him and he just fell down to the ground, helplessly, but he felt it alongside with his heart aching.

We'll be alright, he tried to say. Mostly he tried to convince himself of that matter, but he felt nothing but disappointment the moment he saw your face again. He failed you. As your friend, as your lover. And maybe he could try to say it was his first time being in love, but that doesn't take away the guilt that consumes his brain right now.

Maybe he could say that with some more effort, that could be forgotten in the past and he'd love you better, but he didn't know if you could endure more "some" with him.

And now none of you

Maybe that was the worst that ever happened to him. The punishment of feeling your weight in the bed, of feeling your warmth not too far away, but not feeling your touch. Because that was what was happening. And it hurts.

He could only see the back of your body, as you refused to face him during the night. The bed wasn't even that large, but it seemed like there was an entire ocean separating the both of you. It was unfamiliar, so wrong to not have you attached to him. It felt like what he feared the most. And what's possibly worst is that he should've been used to that now as the past nights were like that too. You were still in his sight, but not where he could reach you.

He tries to think of where he failed and how he can turn back. You never showed sighs of going away until he convinced himself you were. He just didn't want to take you for granted. Did he self sabotage instead? All he ever wanted was to love you. How did he miss himself between the lines?

He hears your soothing breathing and he feels like he could cry. When thinking about losing you, he felt like his world was collapsing. He used to do his best to try to keep you by his side. But now he just feels lost, filled with regrets. Simply because he was dumb enough to lose you for nothing. When did it go wrong?

At that moment, he wondered why you were still there. Obviously, he appreciated it more than he could ever explain, but he couldn't understand. Maybe you just wanted to find something, a single reason, that would be able to explain your permanence. After all, he loved you. You loved him just as much. But maybe, because it was your first time being in love, none of you knew that just love wasn't enough. You can adore someone and maybe even then it won't be enough. Merely because it isn't.

Although you wished to stay, maybe it just wasn't correct for you to do so.

That night, Hyunjin finally came to terms with it. Nothing would stop you from leaving. Not even him, not even you, not even love.

Just like he once prayed to have most of forever with you, now he prays that this will not be your last goodbye. Maybe a "see you soon". Maybe a "we will find each other when we're both ready". Anything along these lines. Just not, for God's sake, a final goodbye. Anything but that.

You're a little bit confused when you wake up being held by Hyunjin. Considering how you made sure to have some distance for the night, hoping that would make things easier, it was a shock to find your entire being intertwined with his. He was hugging you like he would never let go and you were counting on that. You almost complied. But when you felt his tears falling on your shirt, right where Hyunjin laid his head, you knew that he knew it too.

That was not how any of you expected it to go, but none of that mattered in the moment. Not when it was already decided. You hugged him closer, in hopes of stopping the inevitable. When it didn't work, you just wished you'd have more opportunities to hug him again.

Take me to the night we met

It was funny, to say the least. The one time Han didn't forget about Hyunjin in a party was because Hyunjin decided to run away himself this time. At least Jisung improved since the last time they partied together.

But right now, all Hyunjin could think of was to breathe. Breathe in, breathe out. Again. The mood inside the party was suffocating: way too many people doing everything at once. It was chaotic, really. So that's how he found himself in the balcony of the hosting house, breathing in every time the cold air touched his face.

When the door opened, he felt the bit of sanity he had left disappearing. No way he could talk or interact with someone without losing his mind; there was a reason he was running away.

He genuinely thought of just asking the person to go away, claiming he needed some space. But when he glanced at the stranger, he realised that he actually knew the person quite well. He promised himself that he would never forget your face after all.

You haven't perceived him just yet,you were too busy looking at the view. Just like the night he met you. He has always thought it was beautiful how you looked at the dark sky. It was almost as if you had a connection to the stars, like you're one of them who got lost in Earth. You for sure looked as dazzling as one.

"There are no blankets this time. I checked."

It was almost comic how fast you turned your head towards him. You didn't believe your ears when you heard his voice, and you now didn't believe your eyes. It was amazing how you always found your way to him whenever you needed a break from the world. Even after going almost no-contact with him, in a way or another you'd always find him. Or perhaps he is the one who'd always meet you.

"I actually needed one right now." you chuckled, feeling yourself a bit vulnerable to the cold breeze. However, your focus was in Hyunjin and how he looked at you in the same way he did before... everything. You probably looked at him just the same. "Do you mind if I stay? Just for a bit, inside there is quite..."

"Chaotic?" He smiled, emanating this huge feeling of peace.

"To say the least." You watched him move a little to the left, leaving you a spot to sit. And so you did.

Although you were both shivering by being exposed to the outside weather, it felt surprisingly warm being next to each other. It still felt comfortable.

He remembers how he once prayed he'd see you again. He did. He also remembers how he wanted to stay the most part of forever with you. Now that he spent some time without you, he wonders if that means that from now on it will be different. He hopes so.

Hyunjin smiled to himself and looked to the sky just in time to see that the moon seemed to smile right back at him. At you both. And he has a feeling that his prayers were heard after all.

Masterlist | you'll probably like: hold me

Reminder that this is all fiction, this does not represent the members in real life!

Taglist (open!): @yuyubeans @dandelions-143 @sleepyleeji @jinnie-ret

Dividers by @thecutestgrotto | images 1, 2 and 3

[jerzwriter]

Thanks to @liaromancewriter for sending this prompt for Ethan x Kaycee: "I love you, I swear I do, but we're not wearing matching costumes." I swear I wanted to have this done by Halloween, but things just didn't go as planned! lol

Book: Open Heart Pairing: Ethan Ramsey x Kaycee MacClennan (F!MC) Rating: Teen Words: 968 Summary: Halloween snuck up on Kaycee this year, but she still wants to make it memorable. But will her "secret" boyfriend comply?

A/N: Participating in @choicesmonthlychallengenov2024 - holidays

Everyone has a favorite holiday, and Kaycee’s was Halloween. Each year, she’d spend countless hours deciding upon and creating the perfect costume. But this year was different than most. Being a medical resident was chaotic and by the time she realized Halloween was upon them, she only had two days to put together a memorable costume. She was not happy.

Ethan wasn’t happy, either. After all, seeing his girlfriend upset brought him no pleasure, but he was able to find a silver lining in the dilemma. Even though their relationship was still a secret to most, he knew Kaycee would have still tried to wrangle him into a couple’s costume. But now, with only a couple days to spare, he was confident he found a reprieve. His fear of dressing up as Mickey and Minnie, Morticia and Gomez, or peanut butter and jelly was put to rest

His doorbell rang, and Ethan rushed to answer, finding a delighted Kaycee beaming from ear to ear. She kissed his cheek and buoyantly stepped into the foyer, her arms loaded down with shopping bags.

“You managed to do this much damage in just two hours?” Ethan asked, eyeing the bags.

“Mm-hmm,” she smirked. “You, of all people, should know that I always get what I want.”

“There’s no denying that,” he agreed, looping his arms around her waist. “Did you manage to put a costume together?”

“I did, but I had to go simple,” she sighed removing a pair of black spandex tights and red stiletto heels from a bag. “I’m going to be Sandy from Grease.”

“Really,” Ethan grinned, recalling the crush he had on that very character during his early teens. “You may have to model that costume for me in advance.”

“Why? So it ends up in tatters," she laughed. "No chance, Ramsey!”  

They were setting the table for dinner when Kaycee crushed Ethan’s hopes in another way. “Now, we have to work on your costume,” she grinned.

“My costume?” He froze in place. “I think we can skip that.”

“Oh, no, we're not!” she replied. “You need a costume, Ethan! Having fun will keep you youthful. And this year, you’re going to be Danny Zuko!”

“Danny Zuko?”

“Yeah, from Grease!”

“I’m aware he’s from Grease, Kaycee. But are you forgetting, only a handfull of people know we're dating. A couple's costume wouldn't be the best idea.”

“But that’s what makes it so cute,” she insisted. “We're not arriving at Donahue’s together, so it will look like a coincidence! Then, we'll have an adorable story later on once everyone knows."

He shook his head with a grimace. “Kaycee, I love you. I swear I do. But we are not wearing matching costumes.”

“Why not?” she pouted.

“Because in all my years in Boston, I have had one costume and one alone...a curmudgeonly, sarcastic physician. If I show up as anything else, it will be suspect.”  

Kaycee rolled her eyes. “You won’t dress up? Not even for me?”

“I think we just covered that,” he deadpanned.

“Fine, Dr. Crumudgeon! Have your way,” she sighed. “But I’m still going as Sandy.”

When Halloween arrived, Kaycee sauntered into Donahue’s, looking like the perfect 1950s bombshell. She twirled a lock of blonde hair around her finger as she scanned the room, expecting to see Ethan perched on his usual stool wearing his old grey cardigan as he nursed a Scotch.

But then, she saw him. He leaned against the bar, wearing a fitted pair of blue jeans, a classic white T, and a black leather jacket. The casual observer may not have recognized it as a costume at all, but Kaycee knew, and her heart began to flutter.

She rushed to his side, a small smirk lifting one corner of her mouth. “Danny Zuko, I presume?”

Ethan's eyes met hers, and a warm smile was shared between them. "Look, I wasn’t about to wear a T-Bird jacket or brush my hair into a pompadour. But this was simple enough, and I needed a new leather jacket, anyway.”

“Uh-huh,” Kaycee replied, her eyes sparkling. “Sure you did."

She didn’t thank him; she didn’t have to. Her face was radiating pure joy, and Ethan stared back with a stupid grin. Life was sure different with Dr. Kaycee MacClennan in his life, but it was different in a very good way.

Eventually, some of their coworkers noticed the matching costumes and rushed to surround them, eager to know if the rumors they had been hearing were true.

“I knew you two were a thing!” Nurse Sarah squealed. “A couple’s costume is the perfect way to announce you’re, well, a couple!”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about, Sarah,” Ethan said nonchalantly after putting down his Scotch. “I’m James Dean. I was just telling Kaycee I’ve never even seen Grease.”

“Never seen Grease!” Harper shot back. “When we were dating, you told me you had a huge crush on Olivia Newton-John after seeing her play Sandy.”

“Oh, is that so,” Kaycee teased. “Well, Ethan, I’m pretty sure James Dean was Danny Zuko’s inspiration anyway. So we could technically enter the couple’s costume contest if you want, that is."

“What’s the prize?” he asked.

Kaycee looked around to make sure no one was in earshot, then leaned over and whispered in his ear. “The prize is my costume scattered across your bedroom floor later this evening. I'm sure you'd be pleased.”

Ethan downed his drink in one gulp. “Then, by all means. Where do we go to sign up?"

"Follow me!" Kaycee grinned.

Harper and Sarah exchanged knowing looks as the two walked away.

“Do they really think they’re fooling anyone?” Sarah asked.

"Let them have their fun," Harper shrugged. “But if they think they're fooling us, then neither of them is as bright as we think."

@choicesficwriterscreations @openheartfanfics

[rabb1ttrash]

they were absolute menaces as padawans and you can’t take that away from me

[rjshope]

Namseok through the years for @raplinenthusiasts ✨

+bonus:

[tj-crochets]

Okay I know I’ve posted about this before, but I just want to say thank you all one more time for the curly hair advice!!

My hair keeps getting curlier as it gets longer, and I haven’t quite figured out how to keep it this curly on days where it’s not freshly washed (or, more accurately, I haven’t found curly hair products I’m not allergic to) but even when it’s less curly I love it. It’s almost long enough for tiny pigtails!

[bunnyboy-juice]

spent the first hour and change at work deleting some old files and am having a grand ol time laughing at myself for not realizing i was a lesbian sooner

[found--family]

am i the only one who sensed some jilted lover vibes from jensen? 

[thatchaotictiefling]

Id in alt text

You wish you were me, with my FIGHT SONGS: THE MUSIC OF TEAM FORTRESS 2 vinyls.

[ereborne]

Song of the Day: April 15

"Something in the Way She Moves" by James Taylor

[doctorweebmd]

coming out of my baldurs gate 3 delirium (aka i am working a night shift and can't physically play it. at work.) to say that horikoshi. horikoshi when i GET YOU. you are NOT leaving izuku with no quirk and no arms. i am in your walls

[onward--upward]

hey do you have any estimated idea by when you'll be finished with (make me) misbehave? and if you'll post it all in one time or release it in chapters in intervals?

hello friend!! that is an excellent question and i do not have a great answer, lol. the good news: (make me) misbehave is, i would estimate, probably going to be within the 30-40k range?? the bad news: i'm at about 15k right now, so there's still a long way to go

its definitely going to have chapters, but i'm not certain yet whether i want to post it all at once or post it in intervals. i'd like to wait until its fully written before i start posting it, either way.

my goal is to start posting it by the end of the year!! if i am super fast i would say maybe late november, but if i'm being realistic it probably won't be up until december

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

[crossbackpoke-check]

Okay so this is gonna sound very unhinged

But the screenshot you posted of the doc for Omega Yamo had text

And I may have zoomed in and been able to decipher the words

And I’m obsessed with there being more than one Alpha in that scenario

And I think you’re a genius and I love your writing even though I probably wasn’t supposed to be able to read it

Again I’m sorry for being so insane but I couldn’t help it 🙃

SCREAMINGGGG anon i am in love with you. i appreciate the level of unhinged sooo much, the only thing you have to be sorry for is inflating my ego to an enormous size

howmstever!!! i may have tricked you!!! there are actually two omega yamo fics in the works 🤐🤫 they just happen to exist in the same document right now because ??? why not

[thehappiestgolucky]

Ah fuck now there’s rain world brainworms-

[thormanick]

"Light of Kshahrewar indeed. No wonder I always have a feeling that I'm talking to a brick wall." - Alhaitham about Kaveh, probably.

[harakanvarpu]

Happy New Year!

Finally a year with drawings for almost every month except January, apparently :D

I'm very happy my arms are doing good enough for me to draw again and this often! ^^

Template made by @necromosss !