#they are from WITHIN the fucking walls
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I've reached the nervous breakdown because of ants in the house level
#usiamo they're quick to get rid of bc they just stick to the kitchen an#and* the front door#tell me why i woke up this morning to them invading bedrooms and mezzanine ???#to make everything worse they're not even ON the wall so i can follow where they come from and stop ot a#stop it * at the root#they are from WITHIN the fucking walls#inside the fucking wood#i am about to lose it so bad I've cleaned and put pepper powder and cinnamon powder everywhere so they're like less#but the one who keeps coming are even going into the beds now so what do i do#idk why ants make me have such an irrational response but i can't be at peace if they're inside the house#i am literally shaking
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The one thing I REALLY want to from Welcome Home is an actually episode from the show! Or maybe just a cut of it or somthing along thos lines!!! But I doubt that will ever come true...
What about you? What do you REALLY wanna see from WH?
i'd enjoy and appreciate Anything we're given! i'm not picky!
#more audios or animated clips or scripts or art or-#i have no preference tbh!#all i Really want to see is how the story unfolds and What The Fuck Is Going On#which is a given! so! yeah!#rambles from the bog#you never know whats in the future....#& clown's latest kofi preview has part of an image from what is most likely a Storyboard#so i think its most definitely Well Within the realm of possibility that something animated is in the works#or maybe its just a storyboard!#i say 'just' as if the mere prospect doesnt have me clawing at the walls
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one thing i didn't expect from this update was old man yaoi, but old man yaoi i got
#warframe#warframe whispers in the walls#whispers in the walls#whispers in the walls spoilers#warframe loid#wait whats human loids tag#because#loid is already yknow loid#with otak scratched into his back#i hope this turns into a human nigel situation if youve seen that tweet#anyway mans wakes up from his short coma and within the first minute i realise him and jotaro entrati are like 200% fucking#(me and my friends call albrecht jotaro because of his jotaro-like drip)#there was some '🏳️🌈🤨?' in the cutscene with the fuckin wiping away his tear extremely gently#but there was still some wiggle room yknow#but my mans walks out of his time travel coffin and calls a mf 'my Albrecht'#there is not a singular heterosexual under the sun that would call someone of the same gender 'my' in that fucking tone of voice#in short:#there is was and will be no heterosexual explanation for all of that#by all of that i mean the whole quest
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sorry im just thinking about bcs but like. why not add a few smaller scenes of gus interacting with his own men? why does it seem like, in comparison, mike is almost immediately elevated to a higher status than those two in bcs purely because we actually get to see him having normal conversations with gus? like i understand they might not keep the plot moving as well because of the fact obviously if victor is currently doing something it’s because gus told him to etc. but for the most part all of the smaller interactions gus does have with those two ends up being in a somewhat high stress situation where it feels very tense between everyone. and it’s just like damn! is it always like that?? why do those two even care that much about their jobs if their boss is a bit of a dick? etc. i think even an additional scene or two with those guys (either alone or the both of them) talking with gus in a more normal situation could’ve both added a bit more depth into how gus treats his employees (we got a lot with how he treats lyle and co., but not a whole lot with the illegal side of things), how comfortable vic and tyrus feel around him in a calmer setting, and exactly why they both feel the need to be as loyal as they are to the guy.
and also on the other side of this i don't think it'd hurt to maybe elaborate on their pay just a bit..? i'm not saying to randomly put a number out into the atmosphere but i just mean some smaller things like. do they buy nicer things for themselves? what's their housing situation? what's their car situation? are the escalade / yukon their own vehicles or does gus just use those two for business situations? do they use them when they're doing their own stuff off the clock or do they have their own cars? etc. that can also help with understanding their motivations a bit. don't get me wrong i don't think they should be visibly rich or something because that's not what gus would want but just smaller things! cause it's easy to write their loyalty off as Well they probably get paid super well, which i'm sure is true, but if they don't show a single hint of that then what's the point. even something as simple as giving tyrus a nice watch, or maybe victor having a nicer looking gun, etc. something small like that. because as it stands right now the average 41 year old viewer who watched the show once only knows and will only ever know victor and tyrus as those two guys in the background who do random stuff for gus with no clear motivation. just the personification of "On it boss (salute emoji)". and to be honest this is true for a whole lot of fans who do watch the show multiple times and enjoy thinking about it more in depth, because on screen we barely have anything about the two.
and to be clear i'm not trying to say we should have an episode just for them or something like no i understand they're side characters. i understand we don't need all that. and i understand this is also primarily Jimmy's show. but it's not like these two are on the same level as like, arlo or paige and kevin etc. these guys have been around since brba. victor was literally introduced in the same episode gus was. and they are a huge part of gus's story, especially in brba. s4 wouldn't have been what it was without victor and tyrus. and in bcs, ignacio's situation wouldn't have been the same if it weren't for victor and tyrus as well. and i just personally believe that if their goal with gus in bcs was to go back and elaborate on how everything came to be and show what he was like a few years younger, they could've dragged victor and tyrus into that. and i think his character would've benefited from taking that extra step with those two.
#gray.txt#and you know. obviously i personally have my own clear ideas of everything. and i'm content with what i got. this isn't coming from a place#of Well victor is my favorite guy so everything should be about him LOL. i know what he is.#but thats only because i spent like what? 2 years now watching random interviews and analyzing the smallest details within the show that#genuinely meant nothing while they were writing the scripts. and then throwing some random ideas at the wall to see if they stick.#and i just dont think everybody should have to do that LOL. and i think gus's character gets a lot more interesting#when do you do have this clear idea of victor and tyrus in your head and how he interacts with them. but 99% of people dont have that!#nobody fucking knows everything giancarlo and vince ever said about box cutter. nobody knows about the interview where giancarlo referred t#his entire business (meth and restaurant) as his 'family'. and they'd never think of that in those terms#because with the exception of his restaurant workers and mike#it feels like he HATES them LMAO.#tldr all i'm saying is i think we could've benefited from at least one 1 minute long scene of victor and gus exchanging words#where it doesn't end in gus snapping the phone in half out of anger. and also let tyrus speak his mind and have gus agree with him once#also yeah sorry this is all over the place but it is somehow the most coherent i have felt in months so this is as good as its getting sorr#sorry .#also to be clear about my earlier statement that’s a lie my idea of those two is not clear in my head whatsoever i just meant in comparison#to literally the average viewer. and my own personal thoughts about them aren’t even true it’s just opinions and guesses.#and i love a character that i can just say shit about but at the same time i think it’s fun to have idk something in the source material#that you can actually use while thinking and not have to dig around 11 year old reddit AMAs#and that money paragraph sort of came out of order what i meant by saying all that is like#i feel those two could benefit from a clear motivation for why they do all the things they do#and if we have neither personal reasons nor monetary reasons then it just makes them feel like one dimensional henchmen or something#came out of no where* not order you dumb fuck (< me)#also it doesn’t have to be clear in our faces or anything whatever you know what i’m saying . this is too long i can’t keep elaborating
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可待的意思是 请你 等等我。 (please wait for me.)
#posts made by me for me myself and i only#keep scrolling! just me having a mental breakdown! nothing to see here!#me hearing lwx say 可待的意思是请你等等我 for the 7378414828th time: *bursts into fucking tears*#my posts#hlht#lhl#ok. serious thoughts time. it's always lowkey funny to me that it's genuinely believed#(like in xcp's eulogy for him)#that xdq cares more about his people than anything#it's not that i think he doesn't care? he's actually kind and good and feels for his people but?#he cares in a detached and distant way exactly in the manner he can from within the palace walls#...which is reminiscent of huahua in the last episode going yeah he's a good emperor (really?)#and i'll give up my only chance to survive in exchange for the peace of the world#(he says. but it's also for xiaobao - like. every political move xdq makes it's mixed with personal stake)#he does things *for* the good ever since he has been the lxy who built sigumen#but is it really *out of* goodness or he's just trying to live up to the ideal xia#his self-imposed isolation as the top of wulin is as iron-clad as the palace walls of confucian social roles that hold xdq in#the way that hlht is all about the social world and lhl is all about the world outside of that which xdq dreamt about#then at the end of the day they both go back to the water bodies where they wish to be released into... bye#and they leave behind loved ones who will go see the world for them#xdq is so much less cruel to them than huahua is tbh#at least xdq had aggressively fought for them and to be with them#both stories are like. what happens to someone AFTER they're at the top and was born into/for that role?#do you know what fucked up things that does to someone?#ok bye FOR LEGAL PURPOSES THIS POST IS FOR MYSELF and whoever wants to read ONLY
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last minute pre-grandparent-visit room deep cleaning has revealed that within the drawer i tend to assume just has old, off generic birthday cards and theater/concert programs there are also many, many going away cards and letters and things from the last couple of times i moved away. i guess i always thought of it as such a lonely thing, and i talk a lot about how i don't think i made Real friends until recently, and not to get choked up on main or anything but i think maybe i was completely fucking wrong
#Real friends = deep friends and admittedly it's hard to have deep connections with ppl when you're like 10#and also hard to have deep connection with people when you don't understand yourself at all (bc how could you share it?)#but i was so profoundly loved.#and it's not like the bday cards and stuff aren't a part of that they're just so.. obligatory? whereas such cards from friends is. guhhh#like they missed me. maybe they still do at least a little bit. ahhhhhhh#like i was a shithead but i meant something to a lot of good people and so many of these aren't from just one person#they're a bunch of them coming together and bringing along inside jokes i only half remember and drawing my fucking ocs like GUYS.#GUYS I LOVE YOU GUYS. i may not remember all of you but you were like. goddd i think you made this bearable#and im so glad i saved these. i didn't know there were so many#speaking of which i also found THREE count em THREE decks of cards i know for a fact i have never used bc i have a favorite deck and it's#not those. what off the wall madness was i planning where i needed three non-matching decks of cards within sleep-reach at all times#anyway im reorganizing bc like 10% of that drawer was stuff i actually needed regularly (literally Just the knives) and it's a nightstand#so it should be like. stuff i frequently need like pens and junk. idk#like it's not as if i don't think about how my moving away hurt ppl like i've been abandoning ppl against my will my whole life#but i guess ive been thinking of it as some kind of responsibility or guilt thing? or painful in a me-centric way. they sent me off#with well wishes though they poured their hearts into these. they drew and printed photos and made little crafts bc they loved me#and that's what you do when someone you love has to go away. waughhhhgghhghbn
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Before the begining there was nothing.
It stayed that way for a long, long time. But honestly, It was blissfully unaware. Simply being. Simply present.
Until It tripped over itself and thought,
“wait. What was that?”
…
“Oh fuck, thats Me!”
It became aware that It was there.
“what freedom! To Be!,” It thought. “ I would much rather To Be, than Not To Be,”
Merrily it thought. It thought and thought and thought, until It thought every thought there was to think. Then it started to do something preposteros… It started to want.
It wanted… something else to think about. Nothing came to mind. Hmmm. maybe even,,, someone else to think With! What a great idea, It thought.
It suddenly became aware that It was completely alone.
It turns out, Alone is a very painful thing to be.
Of course, then came the frantic questions:
where am I?
Where did I come from?
Why am I here?
But there was no answer.
There was no reprieve, just more of the same. Every moment, the pain and despair grew greater, for eons, until It got so great, something broke.
A Bang Errupted.
Let There Be Light, thought the universe. From that moment on, Creation was no longer One.
#preacher#god from the preacher. but what if all creation was god splitting from the trauma of being completley alone#idk how much if any of the rest of this i will write. but then#after the big bang there is like matter and shit ok. and god likes the look of light.#It identifies with Light. the dark reminds it of being alone.#It ruins god's day. to have those painful feelings. and those painful questions. It folds those things up on themself to hide them away#this banished place becomes its own place: Hell.#as God travels the expanding universe there are things it labels as bad - it sends those things to Hell.#then there are things it considers beautiful. Good. It wants to be Good#and surrounded by these things.#it gathers them around it. It holds them close. It builds walls around itself made from this Light. within these walls becomes Heaven#all the rest of the plot of Preacher plays out from that: there is the Waking World#The Banished Place which is Hell#and the Holy Place which is Heaven.#But god doesnt stop dividing: all matter are another time another part of god has seperated itself into pieces.#it divided itself into the angels who lit the stars. the angels (its children and also itself) who displeased God were cast into hell.#That is where Demons come from#Angels operate on gods behalf. they are seperate from It but. in the eyes of God. not their own#this continues on and on until life happens. All life is made OF god but it removed to thousands of degree from its Oneness#Exept. Genisis. Genisis happened when an angel grew suspicious of God and went to Hell; curiosity#The Demon and the Angel fucked. they merged as one. Creating a being of both Dark and Light. Genisis#So god is like a disaproving and controlling host. and also like an abusive and overly sensitive father.#send tweet
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mob psycho(logical horror) 100
#Chatterbomb#There are some terrifying concepts in there they should be stretched more#That comic reminded me of junji itos The Long Dream#I’ll have to do a rewatch and write some stuff down#The mental prison stuff? Terrifying 10/10#Shigeo in fabricated world for six months is terrifying but I feel like being trapped in a static environment that only gets longer even#Though real world time has barely passed and you are all alone and you can’t escape and you can’t change the environment besides clawing at#The walls#day and night don’t pass with the sun and moon but your body is aging anyway#Nothing changes and you are running out of resources.#How long until you accept no one will come and save you? How much are you willing to starve while waiting for someone who left?#What if the world that trapped you won’t let you die? Starving for centuries without a sign of life#Thinking at some point you must have escaped. Or was it a dream within a dream? Can that happen? How many times have you fallen asleep?#How many dreams deep are you already in?#WHAT IF HE STARTED ROTTING#what if he was living in his own dead body!!!!! Would that be fucked up or what!!!!!#Something about reigen sparks a desire to see him experience pain disconnected with reality#The dreams in train hell are only getting longer. None of them are peaceful. He can’t tell if his hair is greying from aging or how much th#Dreams take a toll on him. How much time has really passed? Can he even rely on how his body is changing? Is it truly time who is#Responsible? Or is it him? Or the train itself?#What if all they found of him was a dryed up body with a beating heart and pulsating brain. Laying limp and clothing scattered#If I really indulge myself the scratched out days. When looked at from farther away. Still marking the potential days reads#Abandon all hope#ye who enter here#Which yeah that’s stretching into being ridiculous but it would be cool TO ME#Dante’s inferno you are so silly and special to me#I got really autistic here but <3 big fan of horror huge fan of suffering <333#ALSO!! taking inspiration from “heck” short film but the days might be counted by “sleeps” as time cannot accurately be measured in a place#That defies universal law#Ok I think I’m done now ok I’m normal probably
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Just had the idea of doing a Roxy askblog that's based on it being a secret blog she's not allowed to have and every so often if someone asks her something she just says stuff like "To the Fazspy reading this, I'm not the real Roxy." to try and throw the staff off her trail lmao
Will probably never make a blog like that, but it could be kinda funny. Maybe I bring the idea of an 'ask Roxy anything' game back where I draw the answers for it instead so it's not a whole ass blog dedicated to Roxy being a sneaky lil shit on the internet
#there's several reasons I probably won't do it but it's a fun spin on stuff#roxy exploring the closed off parts of the plex in first person lmao#taking pictures like 'look see? its right there!' and she's pointing at literally nothing because the camera doesn't see what her eyes see#could be funny!#but doing things is... I would say it's improving but not really#it's improving in a maybe it is maybe it isn't sort of way so who knows if I'll ever get to do it anyway#ANYWAY yeah I'll probs not do this. literally no one would interact with it#the people are bored of my plex history stuff anyway so like... yeah it's cool I know when something won't work#an askblog only works if it gets asks and uh yeah the amount of askblogs I've seen die off within a week here because of that is crazy#no thank you to that I think!#I'm not putting the effort into something like that just to have it die so fast#hi if you read this far go find an askblog and pester the shit out of them it's fun#I haven't seen any around for a while but I also can't view half of tumblr on my phone#so it's really fucking hard to see them even if I follow them :(#but yeah if there's any sb askblogs out there or anyone that wants to have a go at it tag me in a post.#I WILL show up to be silly in your inbox though I may not always remember the plot if there is one#again. I can't see half of tumblr on mobile and that includes blogs but I'll do my best man#askblogs are fun! they're goofy and chaotic!#highly recommend!! I haven't ran one in years but they were very fun!!#ANYWAY Roxy just making posts like 'Jerry. Sandy. I know what you two keep doing in the Gator Golf caravan. :)'#just name dropping random plex guests to be like 'I KNOW WHAT YOU ARE' for shits and giggles#'who are they?' 'oh just two morons that dont know I know Everything Ever. Don't worry about it.'#ya know?? fun! goofy shit! could be funny!#random pictures from inside the plex like 'lmao they think I cant see them' and its just a fucking wall like yeah I wonder why#maybe it's the fucking wall in the way who knows? it's a mystery sdfdsf#pop rox talks
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I am going to need that rewrite on my desk by tomorrow, 12 point font, times new roman, double spaced
noOOOOOO IT'S TOO MUCH WORK!!! I DON'T HAVE TIME AND I DON'T CARE ENOUGH........ girl help!
my rewrite where uhhhhhhhhhh. everything is the same except the writers actually care about female characters. a lot of decisions were made because of actresses no longer being available so plotlines like fish's are more or less the same but like, Ivy either gets to grow up normally or is never a child at the beginning to start with (you can go the weird plant body route if you have to keep her relatively younger since this is a prequel ig), and I don't... even know what to make of KK or Isabella, and Sofia should just be fucking. dont tell me there isn't a single female italian bodybuilder who can act, I don't believe you. let her be buff. let her take up space. let her be huge and wear vintage fashion.
also Oswald is fat and trans
#the problem is that largely i think gotham should suck ass#the only thing that really drives me up the fucking wall is the like. obvious sexism#every fully disposable female character makes me evil#i dont know what they were on about the riddler fangirl and i've chosen not to examine it bc i suspect you had to be there#in order to understand what whoever wrote that was mad about specifically. i can't stand that shit#'we have to openly mock some actually harmless aspect of our fanbase' ok but can you do it without being weird and sexist '🧍♂️'#but generally? the Stupid plotlines the Really dumb crap#whatever the fuck gordon is doing from episode to episode#...it builds character. i wasn't paying attention to most of it anyway#hey real quick look me in the eyes#there was something there. i hate the galavan arc so much but there was something there.#a sympathy. a kinship between tabitha and silver. tabitha was groomed for a role the same way silver is being groomed and she recognizes#the childish desire to please authority figures in their stupid bullshit organization even though silver can't see it because she's still l#living in it#did you guys see that? because i saw it#and it's in the middle of like. one of the worst arcs in the show#(the arc is fine the actor who plays theo is just so like. he has no charisma at all and something is Off about the whole thing bc of it)#oh wait no yeah actually. the stuff with silver is kind of hard to watch bc it would be interesting if they wanted to examine it#but it's a stupid drama series so it's just a love triangle even though she's a pretty sad character even within the writing in this show#and silver never comes back. and she doesn't need to bc they wouldnt know how to treat her#but did you guys see that too?#I like tabitha#anyway that arc is bad but i do think sometimes about silver saying 'my favorite animal is a dolphin bc they're magic'#and for a second bruce forgets the situation and looks like he's going to snap#exclusively because she said something factually incorrect about an animal#what was i talking about again
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I would absolutely love it if I could look up one of the only things making life bearable rn without seeing either a constant stream of content about a show that makes me deeply uncomfortable or “actually your favorite character is boring as hell and does not work at all in anything and has no effect on the story at large and also doesn’t matter and sucks and he doesn’t do anything remarkable or have enough abilities to warrant any attention and literally you can skip those games tbh they don’t have a story anyway play this fan game that changes all of the dialogue instead because he is so lame and has no personality or plot significance whatsoever he could spontaneously not exist and nothing would really change even that show you don’t like that doesn’t really adapt anything from the games and changes everything about every character they decide to write about couldn’t make him interesting he is that much of a nothing nobody character because he has no modern triple A game level cutscenes he is basically whip man Mario he go kill Dracula so boring that’s it”
#castlevania#castlevania games#text post#simon belmont#vent post#I don’t even know if I should use the main tags but eh#anti netflixvania#cw netflixvania#just an implied mention of it but yeah#I’m genuinely depressed over this and it’s so stupid like it’s just a fucking game get over it stop being such a fucking child#I should delete Reddit cause it’s all just this all the time#I’ve seen this from both Netflix and game fans too#and yeah everything in that text wall are things I’ve seen people actually say#I hate being online rn#the only reason why I have been at all is because I go to this series for comfort#yay having a niche special interest within a niche special interest oh boy#I’ve been trying to come back to regular internet stuff on multiple platforms#but I just can’t do it#every time something happens and hits me back into artblock and low energy burnout hell again ugh#I haven’t been able to get myself to talk to people very much lately#partially from already not having much energy because of this#and partially cause I don’t know how to manage having like more than maybe two or three friends at a time#and I guess also cause I don’t really have anything good to say#it’s all just been bad news stress I can’t deal with and mild annoyances lately#which is pretty fucking insufferable of me isn’t it#not an excuse to just fucking abandon people god I’m such a bitch#the digestive issues aren’t helping either#and my fucking Xbox broke so I can’t even play curse of darkness about it#so I go online to calm down and immediately get blasted with everything I like being insulted all the time#I’m just so tired
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why has nobody ever caught "eroica". this seems like a massive skill issue on the part of the legal system. like everyone seems to know who he is. klaus always holds calling the police on him over dorian's head but like don't they know who he is? if they cared to wouldn't they have done something? we all know klaus won't do anything because he's deeply closeted but otherwise i think dorian should be a bit more confident i think nobody is gonna go after him any time soon
#also at a certain point he stops actually stealing art and just thinks about it. free my boy from this fucking manga#the wall came down and his whimsy did with it jesus christ go to the club. get out of there girl#also for sure if the police did decide to investigate the guy who says he's eroica often and whose face they have pictures of#there's no way in hell that dumbass german wouldn't emerge from where he dwells within narnia or wherever to stop it.
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The Untamed (2019) // “You’re Not a Girl in a Movie,” Hala Allan
#IT'S JUST--that he was dead at the beginning!! he was dead at the end!!! he's always been in a state of loss born from a second chance that#wasnt so kind--to be taken in by a family but with the unspoken agreement between your guardians#that you will not always be second to your siblings but that you are expected to give them anything you are---and he would have done#it anyway. is the thing. he didnt need madam yu's anger or sect leader's guilt. he would have done what he did#for jiang chang even if they had all lived. because what does life mean to you when you've always existed in an in-between state of having#ost it / owing it to someone else? it's that he should have died the first time as a child#and in his mind everything was---borrowed time. what the wens said to him as a thank you#being the process he's always existed within even without realizing#to do as much good as possible--to be a hero even one that no one but tens of people no one will listen to#believe you to be. because its never been about fame or acclaim but about what doing what no one#had done for him: protect / sheild/ help someone who cant help themselves because that's what you trained for; thats why youre alive#his siblings / their lives & careers & reputuations / lan zhan's reputation / his#old sect's reputation / the wen's existence / innocent lives that didnt bring anyone back#they just made the walls even more red#its that he died and died again & there's always going to be somewhere darker for you to go#when you never even expected to make it there#JUST. FUCK. rewatching this four years later & making me realize how much it was all the first time its. its.#his life was never his!! it was never his until an abused kid gave him life to not only bring wei wuxian back#but to give him. his own existence--absent of anything he didnt choose to incorporate. no more#loved ones means no more expectations which means more time to find. what you want. what you need.#and that he never expected lan zhan to be waiting for him---trying to 'spare' him from wei wuxian's presence even then#oh god. oh god.#im not making any sense but WHATEVER ITS MY POST I& im having . a time.#the untamed#mdzs#wei wuxian#wei ying#lan zhan#wen qing#wen ning
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An attempt at concept art for the beginning of the Dreamtale AU that rn I'm calling Dreamertale (I know I'm extremely creative and totally good at naming things lmao. Might change it later we'll see).
Also have this:
(I know the dialogue isn't great but you get the gist. Check tags for further au rambling lmao).
#In this AU the monsters aren't trapped underground after the war but rather confined to their own walled in territory on the surface.#This wall btw is ancient and strong and tall as shit. Frisk's hands bleed so much from climbing it.#Within this territory is the “Tree of Mind” kind of this aus version of the “Tree of Feelings” from Dreamtale but pretty different too.#The Tree of Mind is powerful and almost like it's own character. It purposefully makes the monster's walls very hard to find usually#It's connected to emotions but also consciousness and the universe's very code.#If the tree ever were to die reality would basically be fucked.#Using it's connection to the universe's code it purposefully makes it so the walls are hard to find and that getting there can be deadly.#However Frisk finds the walls no problem and climbs them anyways partially out of curiosity.#Anyways you're probably gonna be seeing more of this au so be ready bc I've got ideas sdujfhasldikfj#dreamtale au#my au#dreamertale#concept art#my art#frisk#mine
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#you wanna know what i fucking did today?#cleaned inside my freezer. outaide of my fridge. did the dishes. dusted the blinds#cleaned the bathroom sink. took all stuff off the walls. cleaned the microwave. cleaned my bedroom window#cleaned the kitchen baseboards. under the fridge. under the oven#packed up my art supplies and some clothes#cleaned my bathroom door. front door. wiped my bedroom walls. cleaned the bathroom floor#cleaned my stove top. tidied my bedroom floor. and listed my dresser in two facebook sell groups#all within about 2.5 hours#isnt that fuckin wild?? im so tired#oh and i sold my table. i had to get up early for that. and i went for a walk to get a fun little drink#my apartment is starting to get pretty empty. furniture is going and stuff is getting packed into bins. its wack#i need to put my shit furniture by the dumpster. isnt it lovely how we put furniture by the dumpster so others can take it#i mean. the sign by mine says not to put furniture in it. so maybe its just some malicious compliance by putting it next to the dumpster#but ive heard that furniture goes next to the dumpster so that others can take it. thats where i got my desk and my mirror#im gonna miss my desk. its so cute and i love it. but i dont have space. i dont mind getting rid of the other furniture tho#its shit furniture from estate sales that i bought out of necessity#now someone can have my shit furniture if they want it#its kind of fun to see my apartment get emptier and cleaner tho. my moving time is coming up and im so excited#its wild to look at the list of shit i cleaned today. i made a list in my notebook so i could keep track of what i was doing#and its really satisfying to cross stuff off of a list. it takes up almost a whole page length#im exhausted now tho. that was a lot of fucking cleaning#okay bye
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looking at this overleaf document is making me take morale damage
#chattering#<- new tag for my ramblings#anyways tag rant inbound feel free to ignore#I hate whatever hell phase of the research process I’ve found myself in lately#the technical note I’m writing has been dragging on and on#and I know the solution to that is to just sit down and finish the damn thing but I am so utterly unmotivated to work on it#I’m dreading my meetings with my PI because I’m not making reliable progress anymore because I fixed the major issue we were having#so now we’re in the throw spaghetti at a wall stage which means I’m not making a lot of progress within the 2-day interval between meetings#and my laptop is still broken because I haven’t been able to get the executive functioning together to make the phone call#to actually get it repaired#so I’m using a laptop my PI loaned to me which makes me so so anxious I’m going to break it every time I have to bring it into campus#and I need a letter of rec from this man and I need to email him and two other professors about that and Yikes#anyways#biting and gnawing and maiming the overleaf document#war and hate on fucking planet earth#research jeremiad
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