#they are draining everybody's energies and i fucking hate it

[teddybeartoji]

mickey omfg so many of our friends have deactivated im so sad 😭😭

I KNOWW IT'S SO FUCKING SADDD:((((((((((((((((((((((( WAHHH I HOPE THEY'RE ALL DOING GOOD I WANNA GIVE EACH AND EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM A BIG BIG HUG:((((((((((((((((( i miss them all sm i just found out that another one of them deactivated today too aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa come back to meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee:((((((((((((((((((((((((((

[teddytoroa]

lrt to be honest now if i meet someone and they're extremely self loathing i just dont foster that relationship and avoid them. And i left all my friends that did that over the years and now only befriend folks who are like...at least trying to be better. if you're depressed im sorry but we're all fucking depressed and traumatized and just trying to make it through and sometimes that means not adopting relationships with people who are going to make our lives worse. yes thats maybe cruel but like. if someone is just a huge downer all the time why the hell would i want to spend time with them. its different ofc if its a friend who wasnt like that who then falls into that behavior bc then somethings Up, but if i meet someone new and they just talk about hating themselves all the time and act extremely traumatized and panicked and people pleasery its like. annoying. i dont have the ability to help these people and if i get involved im just gonna end up drained and miserable. sorry your life sucks but im not dealing with that. adios.

[time-can-fly]

Jade the Prototype. (Female pronouns or they/them she doesn't really care. She likes being called that over 'it') She's one I can actually pre-explain. I've done a revamp on her. Her original name was Ayo, which supposedly means water in Mayan, but I've changed it to Jade since that's important to Mayan culture, and easier to incorporate. Jade was the prototype right before Shadow. She's physically younger than Shadow because of this (For being more compatible with Maria at the time) but time wise is older by 4 years. She's hedgehog, echidna, and cat. Echidna was chosen because of their already close relations to chaos energy. However, this backfired, and because of not having inhibitors at the time, Gerald had to seal her away for being too unintentionally destructive, becoming a hazard to those around her and herself. He planned to fix her flaws once Maria was cured, but to first learn from the mistakes with her to make Shadow. (like creating inhibitor rings for Shadow) Shadow finds her in a preservatory region while on a mission investigating things on the ARK. He drained the fluids, and assumed with no movement, she was dead, and started to leave. This allows her to catch him off guard. Similarly, but differently to Shadow, she has anger pent up from being stored away. Though in her case, it's the fact people saw her only as a tool, and when she fucked up once, she was called a monster and a mistake. (Not by Gerald, but by other ARK scientists.) Jade and Shadow find comfort in eachother, and after being on Mobius for so many years now, Shadow has some insight that not everybody is going to hate Jade, but she needs to put down her shields to let friendships happen.

[pictuajjx]

Sun HC!!! (Part one)

NOTES

🫧🐟📝Hi hello! Welcome aboard!! So yeah, I know I was going to make a headcanon version of LJ but I couldn’t resist making headcanons for the DCA (daycare attendance)!! So yeah, here it is. Some won’t (?) make sense due to me changing the story, but hope that’s fine :3 and yeah, these are just mainly in general hcs, but also random and interaction stuff, btw if your looking for more just ask me in my inbox! This post is also going to be separated by DCA’s!! So this is part one. ~ Debvin!

Warnings?

Spoooooilers?? Maybe? Idk. Also, it’s going to be a pretty long post.

Sun

(hugh jumpscare)

In General???

Okay, just to get this straight, all of their heights are at 7 ft tall. Why? Because I said so.

Because of his height, he’s like really lanky. I mean all of them are so.. not much of a difference.

His name is Sun, just Sun, NOT Sundrop. He doesn’t really mind it if your calling him the candy name, same goes for the others. He actually kinda finds it amusing. The candy name is to just not get him and the others get mixed up with the ACTUAL sun and moon.

Based off the game little battery system, I’m assuming same thing goes for Sun that he has to charge… again, for others as well.

Except, you know how he has to be ON and Moon cannot? And you know how he’s the ONLY ONE taking care of the loud ass kids at the daycare?

Yeah, this POOR ROBOT IS TIRED. He’s also technically dying a bit and getting his energy drained.

He sometimes snaps at kids, acts fucking insane but tries to act cheerfully.

Sun is trying his best to be happy go lucky, I swear he’s really trying.

Actually growls. Not the seductive growl your expecting (sorry Sun simps), but the “GRRRRR RAGHHHHHAYAY RUFF RUFURFU SNARL, SNRAL” rabies dog growl. He does this when he’s stressed.

Sometimes when he’s stressed he curls up into a ball and rocks back n forth at a corner. I don’t even know how I came up with this one.

PULLS stuff out of nowhere, always comically large.

His little sunrays shifts a lot depending on his emotion and feeling.

The only music he has listened to is his daycare music. Nothing else. Would love it if you introduced him to something else though.

A lot of the employees neglect him.

With Kids

Plays with the kids a lot, I mean I don’t know what your expecting he’s the only one that plays with them.

Because it’s little kids they’re going to be dirty.

Sun despises that but tries his best to clean up.

Most of the time kids are afraid of him. (His canon version, but in my hc version they aren’t due to my design change.)

Has scribbles, stains, and handprints all over him.

As much as Sun tries to clean himself after the terrible incident of kids rubbing disgusting things on him, he eventually gave up and went insane.

Not too insane, but clean freak insane. (Clean freak but doesn’t even clean his own room).

References a lot of theatre stuff to the kids, they don’t understand him at all.

With Moon (before corrupted)

FUCKING LOVED HIM BUT ALSO HATED HIM.

In a platonic way ofc, I hc all three of them as brothers.

Appreciated his entire being because that means he can go to resting mode and build up his energy for the next day.

Also didn’t appreciate him at the same time because he says unnecessary stuff to him in their little mindset (which I will explain how that works in another post).

Ohhh, if he could have his brother in a separate body he would hug him then go world-star on him by beating the absolute shit of out of him.

Whenever it was time for Sun to take turn, his body is just covered in stacks of blankets that causes him to overheat a lot.

With Moon (after corrupted)

Missed him a lot, didn’t realize how much he wanted his brother back.

Because he had to stay in light all times, he wasn’t able to transform back into his brothers body anymore due to how dangerous he was.

Because they are programmed into the same body, Sun’s programming was also slowly getting a virus and corrupted.

When everybody else is gone, sometimes he finds somewhere dark, but not TOO dark to plug a nightlight that his brothers face on there.

The purpose of this was to let his corrupted brother see what’s going on, but because it’s not fully dark he isn’t in control and is slowly getting hurt from the light.

Corrupted moon thinks Sun is damaging him on purpose, when Sun just wants to show how much he misses his brother.

Corrupted moon somehow doesn’t have access to the mindset space, so Sun and Eclipse can think freely without him.

Angst hehe

With Eclipse

Doesn’t actually interact with him that much.

Sun kinda wishes he was more like Eclipse, because he’s much more calm and nicer than he is.

Kinda is jealous of him in a way??

I’ve been there Sun, being jealous of your sibling for doing sm better ☹️

Talks to him in mindset space but Moon always butts in and interrupts.

The only person that was there for him when he was going insane.. ☠️

Wished he got to talk more with Eclipse, but their interactions varied little.

OKAY THATS ALL FOR PART ONE!!! Will probably post another part tmrw :3 Next one will be Moon (reblogs appreciated!!)

[declanlikesmusic]

Personal Vent: The Internet Has Just Been Sadder Lately

A lot has been on my mind lately about the landscape of the internet in my view. A lot of it stems from me looking back at the past and how it contrasts with how I experience the internet today and if you know me for anything, it's that I fucking hate looking back at the past. My actions & inactions? Shit. Terrible. Fuck me as a young, stupid, naive human being. How other people have treated me? Varies completely across the range from some of the most kind-hearted & generous people I've ever met to people who know nothing more than complete spite, hatred & villainy. The overall landscape itself? I couldn't tell you the difference between wholeheartedly welcoming communities and people who are more than ready to shoot you down, dismiss you or think of you as lesser than them, outside of their superiority & elitist cliques.

I guess the reason why I title this post after the whole internet being sadder lately is sheerly & solely due to the fact that I am seeing it all now more than ever. I am looking back at over a decade of me exploring & investing myself in this overall online space and I am using the detriment of hindsight to realise just how toxic it all can be.

Some of y'all are too fucking good for the internet in its current state. Twitter is now a radioactive wasteland that everybody dreads being stuck in and finding no way out. Me and some of the people I know close to me are lucky enough as we are, but if you're looking for clean, spotless, perfect alternatives, then just give up now & settle for the fourth best thing. Not that one. No, not that one either, that's got cryptobros involved. No, that one's not secure either.

Oh my god, Twitter used to be such an okay place. There used to be these memes like "mutuals, like this post and I'll send an anonymous compliment" or "hey, look at this fun chart or joke I just made" or some bullshit like that; It was bullshit but it was fun! I used to have so many fun & insightful conversations in replies & direct messages that in hindsight were not all that fun or insightful at all and we were all just dumb & stupid. Now a third of those people are inactive or just gone from the face of the earth, another quarter are moving on to other platforms I don't even wanna be on, another third of them are still with me on the platforms I've moved on to and yet they are equally as drained of their enthusiasm & happiness as I am and the remaining twelfth, bless them all, they are still young, vibrant, happy & full of energy and I'm so happy to see them in my life, but they feel so much smaller altogether than they used to feel in the grand scheme of this fucking world wide web.

Then there's just the fact that the world itself is in a far worse state than it was exactly five years ago! In 2019, we did not have the coronavirus pandemic, we did not have wars mercilessly killing several thousand Ukranian or Palestinian civillians for no real fucking reason, we did not have billionaires being as loudly shitty as they have been lately, we sure had abhorrant & hateful right-wing influencers & political figures, but they're not swarming in droves like they have been lately and we're seeing more hatred, abuse, violence, negligence & dismissal worldwide in the public than ever before.

And now there's an extra layer to all of this that I really don't want to blame on fellow zoomers and the coming gen alpha, but I'm seeing a lot of people take in the communities they're joining at face value, seeing the toxic, negative energies & events they were known for in the past that were really powerful five years ago and that we're really trying to move past from today, and they're just getting ready to absorb that energy and unleash it onto others when even the slightest wrongdoing is noticeably committed. I have never felt this unsafe joining & frequenting other communities since either 2018 or 2020 and I've had to resort to making my own community / friend server multiple times even though it still makes me feel like I'm trapped in my own bubble these days. (Join LikesMusic, link in pinned post.)

After writing all of that, I just don't have a hopeful conclusion here. I am very well aware that it always gets worse before it gets better, but everything has just been much worse & worse & worse the more time passes on and the littlest betterments are thankfully present, but I'm still waiting for a point where we all just begin to soar and learn from how bad all of this has gotten and how we can just be fucking good again. I hope that one day, I can just walk into a community, immediately feel welcome & unintimidated and just grow into it organically like I used to almost a decade ago. I am hopeful for all of that, but I don't have that much hope at this current point in time. (Not to mention my body has been feeling like shit the past several weeks.)

[idreamtofmanderleyagain]

One thing about the anger directed at AI from other artists right now is that what I'm alarmed and frustrated by is not the legitimate concerns of the usual corporate hellscape issues the tech industry created with it. It's not the concerns over theft and plagiarism (although I think there is misinfo about some aspects of this and a lot of intense reactionary shit. Even so, it's okay and normal to feel alarm and concern and want to discuss protective/ethical measures). And it's certainly not people fighting and advocating for worker's rights.

No. What's bothering me is the weird borderline elitist shit being the loudest voice in artistic/fandom spaces. It's "I worked so hard and suffered so much and now because people can ask a machine to make stuff, it's ruined my special identity." It's "people who make anything at all with AI will never be real artists like I am, and that's why we should ostracize them all, deny them legal protections, gatekeep all our spaces, etc." It's "everyone who uses AI for any reason is uncreative, a liar and a thief." It's "only people who endured my definition of hard work are real artists." It's "art can only be made by certain people under certain parameters that I dictate as legitimate." It's the insinuation that the bad shit that AI did to our jobs should be happening to everyone else but artists. It's the way I'm for some reason seeing fanfic writers, the queens of 'taking inspiration,' literally pull arguments from Anne Rice's famous hits.

I didn't know that my understanding of art was so different from so many people. And I think that's part of what is bothering me so much about this.

Like, listen. I put in the hard work. I have taught myself for decades. I have taught other people for a living. I have struggled, and shared my work to the world, and known what it was like to try and fail to make financial successes happen. I have known what it feels like to have others take 'heavy inspiration' from my hard work. I have known what it feels like to project that kind of "they're copying me!" anxiety and self-protectiveness unfairly onto others who did not deserve it.

But the way some of us have been behaving, the vicious pettiness, the fearmongering, the misinformation, the sheer anger directed at folks who are *not* shady corporate tech bros. It's ugly.

Art is not just all the hard work we put into being ~special~, or the endless struggling to get paid for it, or even the fucking attention. And if your voice in the conversation is just "weh all those ~less creative~ people might use this to make better looking, more financially successful art then me, when I should be the one rewarded with attention because I worked so hard!" Well. Welcome to having your work automated like everybody else ~less creative~ than you already has. Can we get back to just...enjoying ourselves making art for each other? Sharing the experience of creativity? Teaching one and other? Communicating deeper ideas about the human condition? Because nothing about AI is actually interfering with those things for me. AI hasn't taken my hands or my mind or my voice (not even if it manages to actually plagiarize my public work), but late stage capitalism has taken all my time and my energy and my money. AI's not ever stopping me from making art. People who play with it and make things are not interfering with my capacity to create, they are not actually harming me at all by playing in my sandbox. The mere presence of it will not crush the human drive to create (it might even open new doors). But the daily grind of exploitative american labor sure will. AI might take away what would be an already shitty, soulless, exploitative job that drains me creatively, but uh...that's the system I was already living in. The issue of workers rights is much bigger than just automation.

AI alone won't take anything away from you but a shitty job you would probably hate anyway, but billionaires sure will find ways to take away all your time and energy and financial security to be creative. And whether AI is a fad or is here to stay, unless we advocate for our rights politically, unless we hold politicians and corporations accountable, that will not change.

[toonjazzy]

“You used to be such a happy child and now you think it’s cool to be depressed and hate everything and never have fun anymore”

No, I don’t think depression is cool. No I don’t hate everything

Maybe I just grew up and developed my own thoughts after years of letting everyone else tell me what to think and believe but nobody liked that and started gaslighting me to the point where I don’t know who even is the real me because EVERYBODY compares me to my old self, my…literal 5 year old self. Maybe my Anxiety and Autism and all my other fucked up issues drain me so much due to all my masking every day 24/7 that now I have no energy to play, dance, put up with others’ shit, or anything

Sorry I don’t enjoy much of anything anymore, sorry I slowly went from being an Energetic child to an Exhausted Jester in a decade. Isn’t that just growing up?

[000life-is-meaningless000]

We Really Live On A Psycho world, it's not a clown world it's a Psycho World.

everybody knows murder is wrong but to a degree murder really is based on context. if you murder a fly nobody gives a shit but if you murder a cat everybody loses their mind. if you murder the spider which is not causing anyone any problem's, nobody gives a fuck.

but if you shoot a fucking dog all the sudden everybody's going to be up in arms and be utterly piss at you if you shoot someone who's really bad person, let's just say you saw a man raping an actual child laughing his ass off trying to pinch his ass while he's completely naked, and you're beyond disgusted you're early enraged for the child so what do you do the most righteous honorable thing you can

( if somebody reports this post you like pedophiles )

you whip out a fucking gun you blow the pervert's brains out. yes the fucking little babies going to be Utterly Traumatized especially by the big loud sound from the gun cuz his/her Mind can't understand what's going on but when it gets older becomes an adult only when it becomes an adult around age 30 probably, it'll understand that there was a hero that saved his ass that day keep in mind human being really has around 100 years.

so logically speaking, but we live in a world where if you did that you be convicted of as a murderer because we have a corrupt justice system that does not value morality and values of rules over ethics and morals.

which is a completely Unholy system which is called the beast system, or the Antichrist system or the System of Satan !

&

to make matters worse, if an angel came down from heaven and found a demon controlling and terrorizing a fucking town somewhere out there in America and it was traumatizing everyone torturing everyone giving the nightmares creating an aura of Darkness, Blot out the sun & cursing everyone draining anyone killing people making people kill each other just absolutely causing chaos panic havoc and the cops can do nothing the churches are crumbled, this is a real fucking entity this is a creature made a pure evil energy.

tell the angel comes down and slays the demon with a golden shining sword keep in mind gold is kryptonite to anything dark.

with a Sword of light you Would Kno, it's Dead !

we live in a world where people would call for the angel to be put to death, the angel is falling, the angel is a murderer

WE LIVE IN A WORLD THEY WOULD ACTUALLY DO THAT ! ! !

people would actually cry foul but the angel killed the demon and freed the people we live in a world to win evil a slain the world cries and mourns for the darkest of evils villains are mourn for heroes are hated.

good is not cherished evil is cherished, the righteous actions of the hero are always seen as the darkest actions the most unforgivable evils, but the actions of evil in the world are always seen as either normal or someone benevolent or people always act like evil doesn't exist, it's a conspiracy or it is to be cherished.

Criminal's Stealing : 🤷🏻‍♂️

A Righteous Man STOP's, The Thief : 😡 ARREST HIM, HE'S MENTALLY ILL ! HE'S VIOLATING THAT MAN'S PERSONAL SPACE, AND HE TOUCH HIM Witch is Violence !

We Really Live In A World with Satan has the World by the balls Satan has his disgusting fucking demonic hand for a call right around the balls of this goddamn world.

it's got this world by the balls and by the throat as well staring at directly in the fucking eyes.

I hate this fucking world there's a reason why satanic billionaires rule the whole goddamn world there's a reason why elite is 1 world government.

I know the Antichrist is supposed to lose in the end, what the fuck is giving a Goddamn, Antichrist motivation to begin with to think he's going to have a Chance That Dumb Fuck Didn't He Read The Bible ?

what a dumbass, anyway we live in a dumbass world we live in a world that worries about fictional problems like racism or gender affirming care

I live in a world with people are so mentally insane they believe they can change their fucking gender their energy and their chromosome by simply saying that they are the opposite energy I mean the opposite gender

the mind of a man in the mind of a woman looks so fucking different to each other it it look they're literally polar opposite to each other

Gold And Silver, May both be metals but they're completely different fucking metal and have completely different energy from each other !

Gold is not Silver and Silver Is Not Gold.

&

I'm just trying to let you God damn fucking know that we live in a goddamn world that is completely an absolutely fucking insane people worry about racism if it's a fucking problem it's not a God damn fucking problem the definition of racism keeps fucking expanding and changing and becoming more and more all in common thing

now you're not allowed to talk about characteristics of creatures in nature patterns of behavior or any type of psychology that comes with fucking DNA otherwise those are called stereotypes or you're just called a racist and I'm at the Goddamn point where I want to say I'm proud to be a fucking racist because racism is literally got interfered with science. you're no longer allowed to have fucking knowledge of creatures and entities and specimens especially if they're human otherwise you will be hated for the knowledge.

we live in a world with good is hated we having a world where truth is hated.

we live in a world where the good and the true or hate it and people love lies and Evil.

THE FUCKING BIBLE WARNED ABOUT THIS

AND

you speak any goddamn Truth, you will be hated you will be shot down if the enemy, do not speak the truth about an African or an Asian or any protected crew for the world will go crazy for they've already lost their mind they're already taken by the Beast and Satan has swallowed their soul. they are already predestined to be screaming in hell for all eternity.

( as much as about the fucking racist part, it's about God damn everything but this is the part that keeps getting screened at all about every fucking day of our fucking lives, I'm visible meaningless empty devoid of purpose fucking life, being alive on this planet is more like a fucking torture it's like being in Hell already, we haven't been condemned to it, but it's as bad as hell, I'm not trying to Spew, Blasphemy, But, we have the right to Talk about & as we suffer )

&

but yet Africans can look upon their own people and say they are traits characteristics and qualities of their own people they can see and confirm a real and no one calls them a fucking racist but if you as a white person do that God damn thing then automatically you're a racist black people are allowed to call themselves a black people and say black lives matters which is a fucking racist statement in its own right but everybody acts like it's fucking normal it's not racist because Africans are saying it, great this is really if this is really double standard as fuck !

if you are a white person and you see quality characteristics traits or any kind of nature that usually comes along with something those are called stereotypes even though that they're going to happen and it's fucking nature it's a stereotype of the dog bark you have to keep doing it it's a stereotype to the cat meows it is going to keep doing it it's a stereotype that mice are fucking assholes and they're always going to keep doing it !

if you think that that's way too simple of an example how about this it's a stereotype to aliens abduct people and experiment of them and take their goddamn sperm and eggs from them and then put them down the Earth and cut their fucking body up like they're a fucking piece of meat, is that too fucking simple last I checked people think aliens are more intelligent than anything in existence all they do is have fucking spacecraft and everybody thinks they're fucking, God !

🤦🏻‍♂️

[aajjks]

Animal!JK yes of course you don't butter me up BUT YOU BETTER EVERYBODY ELSE...WOAH so now I can't even question you, but you can do things on your own and fuck up everything. TSK-! ( folds her hand over her chest while giving him a mean stare)What's the point of talking if I can't question you?(rolls her eyes at him) MOVE OUT OF MY WAY!! I NEED TO EAT BECAUSE YOUVE DRAINED MY ENERGY!! STUPID bitch!!

“ stop calling me a stupid bitch and come and eat so you will feel better because when you don’t eat you turn in to this stupid monster go eat you’ll never have to worry about cheating with me because you know I hate cheaters.”

[withered-rose-unbreakable-lotus]

One of the things that scares me about the whole youtube thing is when I will have to start interacting with people more again. You unfortunately can't do anything in life without making connections and I fucking hate that part because everybody wants to grow and inevitably many people tend to act to succeed.

The thing is, I spent too many years dealing with shallow or not-really-compatible friendships and draining myself to keep them going that the moment I feel sb is fake, now, or not compatible with me I just leave. I have stability at this point of my life in this aspect, it's perhaps the only stable thing in my life and with everything else being a mess, I don't want to have to deal with such energy again. Also I can't act to save my life. I might be nice once, twice, 3rd time I might start ghosting or pushing people back cause I am getting sth is off. Not necessarily with the person but with our dynamic, like i feel i can't make it work past a specific point.

Still it's the last thing I can think of. I see all those vtubers sharing their goals and be like yeah I like games, I wanna do this for a living, I want to be a content creator and I am here like, yeah I am actually doing this for money, cause I suck at anything else but I can be funny or at least nerdy for game theory videos and stuff. I prefer watching youtube not make videos (it used to be my dream job, I wanted to be making films and videoclips, but now, after more than a decade of trying without a single spec of luck, it's boring to me), I hate being in front of a camera and I am incredibly shy. So I dunno how that's going to go.

I will just make videos and hope the algorithm will help me at first. Maybe I will get to speak to a person or two eventually. Others advise to get on discord but no thank you. I don't want another account and especially when it includes group chats in getting to know others. Last time I tried group chats I was stressed out of my mind and I can't afford being stressed rn. I hope these past 4 months of work won't go to waste, otherwise I'm going back to my book and accept my fate.

[2017worththetell]

Dear Ryan Baker,

Mr. Hyde here. I’m writing this for myself. Not for you. I couldn’t give a damn if you ever read this or not. Truthfully, you can choke. Fuck you, your fake ass friendship, and your half assed apology. My life fell apart and i almost lost everything, and you didn’t. I live with the trauma of what happened and you get to go on with your life.. It really was just a game to you. Did you have fun? Was it worth it? Did you ever even stop to think how it would affect me? We were not on the same page and i hate that you assumed we were. I developed actual feelings for you. Which is funny considering how horribly you treated me. If we are both being honest, you weren’t even my friend. Almost everything we talked about was about you. You didn’t know a single thing about me. You still don’t. It sucks because i spent every day trying to be the friend you needed. I was already depressed and emotionally drained as it was, but i spent the remainder of my energy on you. I bought you your favorite drinks, snacks, made sure you knew you were loved and made sure you were doing okay mentally and physically. I just wish you would’ve cared about me the way I cared for you. It’s my fault, though, for expecting a narcissist to care about someone other than themselves. Do you ever think about anybody but yourself? No, you don’t. You don’t understand how hard it was to love you, yet it was also so easy at the same time. You’re so self centered and careless, Ryan. You saw I was vulnerable and took advantage of it. You knew my marriage was not in a good place. I’d like to give you the benefit of the doubt and think you didn’t do it on purpose… but at your big age, I know you knew exactly what you were doing. You played me so well and you know it. I bet that was quite the ego boost. And the fact that you made a comment on my mental health was so unnecessary and hurtful. You knew exactly where to strike to hurt my feelings.. I never even insulted you, I simply stated facts. It’s a fact that you treated me horribly. It’s a fact you met with your fuck buddy after I tried to kill myself. It’s a fact you weren’t there for me. It’s all facts. You’re just mad because I’m calling you out on shit that’s true. And best of all, You’re mad at me because I’m still not over something that happened 1 year ago and was very traumatizing to me. maybe Someday I will be over it but for now i hate you for all of it…. Even if I do hurt your feelings, i really don’t care. You hurt me first. Go fuck yourself.

I hate how you made me feel. The good and the bad.

But… i do love some things. I love how small your glasses make your eyes look. It’s ugly. I love how greasy your long hair looks. It’s ugly. I love that you look like you have let yourself go. You’re ugly. it made me so much easier for me not to like you anymore. Because i remember there’s more to you than your looks. If I’m being honest, I hate your narcissistic personality and your perverted comments. I always tried to laugh them off, but in reality, i just thought they were gross. You’re gross. You’re also old and lonely. It’s so sad. It’s probably why you have been single for the past 8 years. You were not wrong when you said you were unlovable. Its hard to love somebody so heartless. It’s probably why your ex girlfriend, Erin, left you. She knew better than to live an awful life with you. I could never be with someone like you. I would probably try to kill myself again. But this time, I would say a prayer beforehand to make sure i succeed.

You made me feel like shit everyday and made me believe I wasn’t a worthy person. I bent over backwards for you. Nobody else would put up with you. But i did. Everybody else hated working with you. I made it work. Despite the fact you treated me like garbage, i loved you. I was there for you. Nobody else was. But i was. And you played with my heart. You didn’t deserve me. I hope someday your life falls apart like mine did. I wish I could be the bigger person, but I’m not. However, part of me is thankful things played out the way they did. I saw your true colors and saw my own, as well. I learned I never really respected you or liked who you were as a person. And as much as I wished differently in the past, I’m glad I never ended up being yours. You could never be half the man I needed you to be. You are not even half the man you are. The truth is, I think you are a coward and a whore. You are the worst thing that has ever happened to me. You made my life miserable. I hate you and I wish I would have never met you. i hope I never see you again.

P.S.

I hope you’re miserable and alone until you’re dead.

Yours truly,

Nicole.

[ipercreeper]

WORRY. - Jeff Rosenstock [2016]

We Begged 2 Explode

Laura said to me, "This decade's gonna be fucked Friends will disappear after they fall in love (Fall in love) Fall in love and get married Isn't that shit like, crazy? The workin', havin' babies and promotions? The cheatin', cryin', leavin', and divorcin'?"

Pash Rash

I've been doing this for half my years; I've been mouthing off in bars, trading shame for self-respect My trajectory is crystal clear I can see it in the stars that frame the shame above my neck That frame the shame above my neck And the sky is always pitch black When I sneak away, I only wanna come back and see your face, see your face again

Festival Song

It feels completely ridiculous That I'm a willing participant Gazing at the purples and pinks In the shadow of a bank-sponsored skyline "Unite against the establishment!" While drones transmit the images To a server farm in the valley For a culture that'll eat its own insides

Staring Out the Window at Your Old Apartment

The city don't care if you live or die It's just gonna grow and it doesn't care why You're tired of kicking and fighting through life And left me alone on this cold winter night

Wave Goodnight to Me

Yeah, ignorance is bliss until the day The things you ignored all come into focus And those conveniences leave cavities That can't get filled 'cause you didn't notice

To Be a Ghost...

Born as a data mine for targeted marketing And no one will listen up until you become a hashtag or a meme But hate's not a fad that dies with its virality They want you to be a ghost when they rob you of your hope But you've got power when they're not expecting anything

Pietro, 60 Years Old

Will you wait for me? Keep me warm in the cold? Will you stay with me

I Did Something Weird Last Night

Everything so unexpectedly started to change in the dream But I was preoccupied with how the magic would end Because nothing intangible remains sustainable Hope is a scheme Will I ever see you again?

Blast Damage Days

We'll get lost and wander off, enraptured by fake doom When our towns fall to the ground Oh, it won't shatter me and you Whenever we feel ashamed being alive and awake In such an era of hate and military police These are the mass murder days We are the blast damage age

Bang on the Door

And we can keep pretending this isn't really happening Or wait until the noise goes away We can declare our grand ambitions about living somewhere different But we aren't doing anything today We can avoid the telephone when it's a number we don't know But we don't even know what they're gonna say

Rainbow

They wanna hear us scream "We ain't got no money, we ain't got no money! You got me! You got me! You got me! You got me! We ain't got no money, we ain't got no money! You got me! You got me! You got me! You got me! Please don't take my love away! My home from me today!"

Planet Luxury

They brutalize your confidence and drain you of your energy Until you're always tired and unsure They make a lot of promises but keep on taking everything So you always want more You want more? You want more

HELLLLHOOOOLE

But we don't have to live inside a hellhole And give our money to some fucking asshole We don't wanna live inside a hellhole

June 21st

I didn't leave the house all day For the last thirty Saturdays It's time to trade the darkness for a view Because it's June 21st

The Fuzz

I can't stand feeling violent But it's hard not to sometimes When the innocent get slaughtered And the guilty get a fine When I drown myself in chemicals Do I even have a choice? And if you scream and no one hears you Are you even making noise?

...While You're Alive

I wanna let you know while you're alive Because everybody loves you when you die But when it matters, they're not there Not there I gotta let you know while you're alive Cause I'll be a disaster when you die Chubby body, no hair, don't care

Perfect Sound Whatever

Next time I see you I'll find better words than I'm sorry (I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I'm sorry!) Perfect always takes so long Because it don't exist Perfect always takes so long Because it don't exist It doesn't exist It doesn't exist It doesn't exist It doesn't exist

[your-dearly-demented]

do you know how relieving it feels to see this instead of the horrors of humanity and begging for my attention and shit that drains my mental health every time I open Tumblr? it feels good. there is NOTHING I can do. everybody and their fucking family knows about Gaza and Palestine already and I don't have any money so stop sending me hate asks just because I don't have the emotional energy to deal with the Horrors.

I get a tiny sense of relief every time my filters keep me from reading another one of these posts, and I'm NOT apologizing 💞

alright I just officially blocked every word associated with Palestine, Israel, and Gaza. I care about the cause but ffs my whole dashboard is full of it and has been for months. Sorry that I don't wanna see the horrific parts of the world every single time I boot up Tumblr. Everyone else who doesn't want to see that should feel free to as well. You're not obligated to listen or expend energy or drag down your mental health even more over issues that aren't your own.

[dallysnecklace]

heyy! I saw the soft reader x Dallas and I loved it! I saw wondering if you could do another where he’s at the diner with the gang and the reader is there with a friend and Dallas hears her laugh and it reminds him of his mother and he just keeps staring at the reader and he tries to distract himself and the gangs like Dallas are you even listening? Have a good day💗

Dallas Winston x soft! F! Reader

Once again I love the idea of polar opposites being together, and I kinda imagined him just seeing her for the first time, and what that would be like for the two of them. Have a lovely day aswell! Thank you for the request, I LOVED writing this

Warnings: Mentions of abuse, death of a loved one (breast cancer), immigration from Italy due to WWll, and not edited because I’m tired and wanna sleep LMAO

Dallas Winston was a known player.

Everybody knew that.

Except, maybe, you. The sweet girl who’s favorite hobby is reading, always has her head in the clouds, and is very much a loner. However, you enjoyed being alone.

You loved not having to worry about gossip, drama and all of that stuff. All you worried about was your best friend, Libby, and your books. You had recently started Dune, and fell in love with it. You weren’t going to lie, you loved a long book that could keep you entertained for more than just a few days. This way, you could put off spending time with Libby.

You loved Libby, she was very sweet, but high energy. Every time you go out with her, you need to take a break because she drains you.

But here you are at the diner, next to Libby, and her telling a ridiculous story about her cousin, that you weren’t really paying attention to. Dune was just really interesting, okay?

A few seats over at a booth, sat the entire Curtis gang. Yes, the entire Curtis gang at a booth meant for four people. Dallas was sitting on a pulled up chair at the end of table, holding a black cup of coffee that he had ordered, meanwhile the other boys shared milkshakes and a basket of fries.

Ponyboy had just won his first track tournament of the year, and everyone insisted on celebrating.

Dallas, like you, needed alone time. He loved his gang, they were pretty much his support system, but he stayed quiet except for the occasional teasing or chuckle.

A waitress walked by your table and you called out, “Excuse me?” She turned to look in your direction, plastering on a fake smile.

“I’m sorry for bothering you, but could I please get a cup of breakfast tea, with milk and sugar?” You felt bad for her. She was obviously overworked and tied.

The waitress smiled at your kindness and walked away, writing down your tea in her notebook so she wouldn’t forget.

Libby perked up at the sound of your order.

“Seriously y/n? Another cup of that disgusting dirt water?”

“Okay, first of all it’s not dirt water, and it most definitely is not disgusting!” You defended yourself, voice growing a bit louder and higher.

This peaked Dallas’ attention. He heard you from a few tables over, looked over, and studied you for a second. You were one of the prettiest girls he had ever seen. Not in a basic kind of way, but you just looked unique. It intrigued him. For the first time he was just admiring something beautiful, not looking at a girl as a quick fuck.

“My dad is British, and so I drink tea. It’s simple.” The waitress from before returned to your table, and set down your tea in front of you.

“Jesus Libby you really are missing out this shit is good.” You sighed, taking a sip from your beloved cup.

“No that shit sucks y/n. Just like my cousin with her boyfriend.”

You looked at Libby, your jaw dropped, wondering how you missed this part of the story! You started to laugh, your loud, giggly, unique laugh. You hated it and you mad at Libby for knowing she would make you laugh with that comment. You hit your friend on the shoulder and continued to giggle, you just found it so funny!

The sound of your laugh made Dallas whip his head back to you, his eyes wide open. He thought he heard his mother.

His mother was the sweetest women he ever knew. She loved books, the stars, Brooklyn, and cinnamon. She had so much love in her heart for the whole world, even though it had treated her horribly. She immigrated from Italy in her teens, and while traveling her father fell ill and passed away. She arrived in America, alone, and ended up living with her distant Uncle. At a young age, her Uncle made her marry Dallas’ father. An older man who was quite wealthy. Though soon into their marriage, he lost all his money to gambling. The couple was poor, and this led to his fathers abuse.

But his mother would always stay positive, no matter what. She laughed every day with her son, making sure he knew how to. When Dallas turned 15, she passed away from breast cancer. This led Dallas to destructive habits. Why did the world have to be so cruel to such a kind person? He never understood.

He has never found someone as pure as his mother. And maybe that’s why he goes through so many girls. He’s trying to find someone with that same happiness and love for the world. But, maybe he’s just found that person.

Sodapop noticed Dallas was ever distant from the conversation, and followed his eyes, landing on the beautiful Y/n.

“Y/n.” Soda broke the silence between the two.

“What?” Dallas replied, not looking away from you.

“Y/n L/n. You’re staring at her. I mean shes real beautiful Dal. Maybe you can actually get a girlfriend instead of a one night stand.” Soda laughed and and punched Dallas’ arm, making him turn away from you.

“Do you know her? What is she like? Why have I never seen her before?” He questioned.

The rest of the table noticed Dallas’ weird behavior.

“Hey what’s going on?” Pony asked

“I think Dallas has a crush on y/n!” Soda teased.

The rest of the boys turned to look in your direction, and you spotted them peaking over the seats to look at you. You gave them a weird look, and they quickly ducked back into their seats.

“Think she noticed us?” Two asked.

“Yeah dumbass she totally did.” Steve answered, shooting a glare at the boy.

Pony looked back to Dallas.

“She’s really sweet Dal. She loves to read, and wants to be an astrologer. She’s always got her head in the clouds though.” Pony answered Dals long forgotten questions.

“She’s kinda a loner. I only know her through book club, but I don’t think she’s ever had a boyfriend or anything like that. She’s not a grease either, but she’s not rich. She’s too sweet to be a grease though.” Ponyboy finished, staring to delve into his own head.

Darry looked to Dallas.

“Why? Do you want to be with her or something?” He asked, genuinely curious.

“She sounded like my mom when she laughed, it just, it was like she was in the room.” He said, looking at you.

Darry was the only one in the gang who knew about Dallas’ past, and how he wanted to find a girl who was like his mom. He wanted to encourage Dallas to talk to you.

But your eyes suddenly met Dallas’. You both stared at each other, basking in the somehow comfortable eye contact. You didn’t recognize this boy, but wow did he look beautiful. His jawline and cheek bones were pronounced in the lighting, making him look sharp. Yet, he had these cute lips that made him look adorable at the same time. It was a mixture that made butterflies in your stomach start to emerge. You smiled at him, and waved.

Dallas and you were fully being watched by your friends, but at that moment you couldn’t notice the rest of your surroundings.

He smiled back at you, muttered a “hi” and turned back to his table, a small blush apparent on his cheeks.

Libby turned to you, shell-shocked.

“I think Dallas Winston might have a full on crush on you y/n. Holy shit! This is insane oh my god!” She shouted.

“Shut up!” You giggled and put your hands over her mouth.

“Go talk to her!” Darry ushered Dallas out of his seat and towards you. Dallas had never been nervous talking to a girl before, this was very weird for him.

You heard footsteps approach your table, and you looked up, meeting the eyes of the boy you thought was ever so pretty.

“Uh, Hi. I’m Dallas.” He said, holding his hand out for you.

“Hi.” You placed your hand in his, and he brought it to his lips, kissing it gently, making you giggle.

“I just wanted to say I heard you laugh earlier, and it felt familiar so I looked over and I saw you. You’re just real beautiful, so do you want to go out sometime? Like a date?” He asked, now sitting down at the table with you.

You blushed having never been on a date before. “Yeah I would love that.” You excitedly answered, a smile very present on your face.

“Great uh-“ He looked at his friend and yours watching you two intently.

“Do you want to go outside real quick?” He asked you. You nodded, and he offered you his hand while you walked out the doors, sitting on a bench nearby.

“Do you want to go to the movie house with me? My favorite book is being turned into a movie and I need to see it?” You suddenly asked Dallas. You were quite nervous.

“Yeah man, here’s my number.” He wrote it down on your hand.

“Okay. I’ll call you tonight.” You smiled again, beaming at the boy with the moonlight covering his features.

“Can I- I know this is real soon but I wanta kiss you, doll. That okay?” He bashfully asked, not wanting the moment to end.

You nodded and quickly his lips met yours, melting together. He tasted like bitter coffee and you tasted like sugar. The perfect mix, they balanced each other out. You pulled away.

“WOW!” You said and then your hands flew to your mouth, embarrassed you said that aloud.

“Uh- I’ll call you tonight Dallas thank you!” You walked to your car, seeing Libby wait for you there.

“I’ll be waiting!” He replied.

“Libby did that just happen. Holy- oh my god!” You screamed. Libby jumped into your arms capturing you in a hug.

“I told you that you were the most wonderful girl in the planet and that the right guy would come eventually didn’t I?” She looked at you.

“I think I’m going to marry that man. I’m not joking Libby.” You said.

Dallas overheard this entire conversation, along with the rest of the gang, who walked right out of the diner after he had kissed you. Darry walked up to Dallas, patted him on the back and smiled at him. Dallas returned a very genuine true smile, and Darry was so happy that Dallas finally found someone that made him so happy.

You two ended up getting married, just like you had said. Dallas felt like his mom was there the whole ceremony, watching over both of you. He was right, she was.

[d10nsaint]

u asked for dion i give you dion

dion x reader thats just as yandere as him?

pls ty

THANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOUUUUU

So,Dion with a reader whos a yandere-that could be a possible term.

But more than him?

No way bro.

->Dion is the kind of yandere who leaves you in the illusion room when you disobey him.Dion is the kind of yandere who locks & chains you in bed when he finds out somebody complemented your beauty.

->While,Dion doesnt interact with people who arent his family much,so nobody really gets to flirt.

->even at the small times where he does get flirted with,you'd be right there watching someone say your husband "gives big dick energy",and he'd be confused,but its you next to him about to drain the life out of his arm while you grip it and fucking spew profanities at the person who 'flirted' with him.

-> I could see you getting jealous and him understanding why,but says that 'its not much of a big deal because he doesnt respond to women flirting'.

->and then you get extra jealous and start making out with him

->I would see him with a yandere that likes to show their relationship off,so everybody knows he belongs to you.

->You would hate his mother..because I said so.

->But,your personalities really complement each other, So you both have a mutual understanding of eachother tendencies.

->That doesnt mean that you both dont become hypocrites and tell the other that others' obsession is becoming too much,though.

->Like..you both are bad.why r yall fighting??

[ravenadottir]

Based on looks alone, how would you rank the season 4 love interests as someone who has never play it?

oh i actually love this!!

'cause i don't even know, for instance, which girls besides angie and najuma are li's, so if you allow me, i'll just rate everybody lol

i think i'm just gonna do it alphabetically to make it easier.

angie. hot, cute, great tattoos. she reminds me of the hot girls i wished were li's on the 'choices' app. also i like her pose but she gets a boot for the hair. it's not great, i don't care for it. 9/10

bruno. this might be the biggest meh for me... hate the hair, HATE IT. what happened?? what went wrong? why did they make his face match the size of his neck? the face is not as generic looking, but it's not great either. the outfits are... gutted. oh my god, they're bad! solid 5/10.

cora. SUPER CUTE. i love the buzz cut, the hair color, her face is just absolutely adorable, cute style. she's hopefully an li?? 'cause if she wasn't y'all were robbed. a boot for the star on the hair (i don't really like buzz shapes on hair). 9/10.

dylan. rotted. gutted. beast. down the drain. most generic looking bitch in this entire cast, BUT IN A BAD WAY. weird ass legs for an athlete, awful face, looks like the type who says "you're just a lesbian because you hadn't had good dick". MANSPLAINING KING. HATE THAT FACE specifically, what a waste of torso design. and i HATE that smirk. gross. solid -3/10. i can't stress this enough, I HATE HIS DESIGN SO MUCH. all of it.

hazeem. HOT!!!!! so fucking handsome, hello??? and i know he's not an li and that was a d-i-s-s-e-r-v-i-c-e. mustache could've been trimmed on the sides but i still think he's hella attractive. i don't mind body hair, and his looks actually good. a boot for the mustache but he was gonna be a 11/10, so 10/10.

james. cute, handsome, good body, but he doesn't make my panties twist you know? i think it's because he looks kinda boring. granted i've never seen any scenes featuring him, so i might be wrong, but he just looks like he would recite poetry and talk about books on the first date. i hate that, it's so tedious. but i love guys with long hair, no matter what texture it is and the bun does it for me. 9/10. hate the glasses and the shorts though.

juliet. NO. she reminds me of the mexican actresses that played villains on telenovelas when i was growing up. BIG SORAYA ENERGY, holy shit. love the eyes, but everything else... it's a no from me dog. hate the diaper she's wearing as a bikini bottom. don't like her, she's not cute. 3/10 and i'm being generous. she looks like she would say she's 40 and people would be like "you don't look 40" but lowkey she's supposed to be 40, you know?

kelly. quirky, cute, looks like would be fun to hang out, probably really flirty. the lip bite is the most they've ever done for a character on any of these ads and it looks good. 10/10.

kobi. great body, good face, but those trunks were a disservice. he looks like the type who would mansplain though, there's definitely an energy there. personally i don't think the "i'm a confident and dynamic guy" is attractive at all. some girls get wet by listening to them, i'm yawning, and he gives me that energy. 8/10.

lexi. i don't see what you guys are talking about. she looks fine but she's not out of this world. the body is ten times hotter with someone else's face. she looks like the lip injections went a bit too far. wouldn't give more than a 6/10.

najuma. SEE, NOW WE'RE TALKING. thicccc, gorgeous face, gorgeous body, gorgeous hair, amazing style. those eyes???? MA'AM, SPARE THAT HAND IN MARRIAGE. truthfully the hottest person in the entire cast and i haven't seen the others yet. 12/10.

oliver. YEP, HE DOES IT FOR ME. beautiful face, good body, hate the tattoos, he gets a boot for that, but he seems like the type of guy who talks to you all night and falls asleep on your lap after sharing stories and laughing about nothing. i love the vibe. he also strikes me as the type who can get a little shy. 11/10.

thabi. gorgeous face, cute style, cute hair, cute glasses, lovely energy. i personally think she's the type to like... laugh timidly about things and that's what i like. i just like how bashful and adorable she looks. she really does it for me too. 10/10.

tiffany. um... i don't know... something's off about them. i think it's the head? or the head-to-the-body position? something is definitely off. i do think she's cute though, and the body is a 10/10 for me. she gets a boot for the wonky design but she's gorgeous! 10/10.

tom. very meh. face is generic looking, and he has no lashes??? it's like they said "let's give him a strong jaw to make him look masculine" and it just looks... wrong. hate that hair, it's not the best let's be honest. the body just doesn't go with the face... the design is not designing, there's a disconnection for sure. i don't like it. also, not that it's bad, but he looks like he has a mommy kink, which added 2 points for him lol 5/10.

valentina. see now that's a bombshell! holy shit. great pose, hot. hair on point, face? amazing. love this one but she gets a boot for the tattoo. also, she does look like a dom/top and that energy makes anyone look ten times hotter, and she's already there. 10/10.

will. my-whole-damn-type! oh my god, long hair on guys is a different level. the tattoos though, are such a BOOT. i hate all of them. this is definitely the only character we can all agree it would be a downgrade if he got another tattoo. hair, face, body, it all does it for me. will is gorgeous and it's not even a discussion, but he gets two boots for the tattoos. 10/10. he was supposed to be a 12.

youcef. hate the hair shape, hair color... go back to party city where you belong. hate the outfits, hate the lips, hate the jaw. oh my god, what did they do to this boy?? body? 10/10, but what the fuck is this face??? why does he look so... weird?? he looks in pain when smiling, i- 3/10 and i'm being super generous. you know i am.

and can i talk about something else for a second? WHO THE FUCK DECIDED ON THEIR OUTFITS???

they're horrible! with the exception of will's night outfit, thabi's and najuma's, i don't think there was anybody else's i was into. the clothes are NOT IT.

valentina's dress was a trip to the gyno. girl... you move one inch i can measure your uterus. i also hate angie's... that fabric? so shiny, and in a very bad way. and i hate the sleeves. juliet's... the diaper? the blue dress?? i don't even... i don't... i-

moving on.

cora's blue something is fine but it's not gagworthy. i prefer the neon pieces and i hate neon. she just pulls it off really well and the cut is super cute. i love it.

now...

CAN WE JUST BURN EVERY OUTFIT BRUNO HAS EVER WORN IN THIS SEASON. GIRL, NO. THOSE SHIRTS ARE SO UGLY! just 'cause you're a comedian... dude, tell me the jokes, don't wear them.

youcef's too. what the fuck was that suit??? why are you wearing a bow tie on a vacation? what is... i don't... i- and again, go back to party city where you belong. you look like you borrowed sam winchester's white wig from the last episode of supernatural and gave it a cut yourself. get kobi here, ASAP, it's an emergency.

don't get me started on tom's. it's so corny to wear something that's not... occasion appropriate. that makes the entire outfit misplaced and why the fuck do you have a handkerchief in your pocket? jacket and sneakers, how very ellen degeneres of you. HATE HIS OUTFIT.

dylan can rot in hell. he's the most basic looking motherfucker and i bet he thinks he's the last vibrator on the shelf. BET. white shirt and jeans? GROUNDBREAKING.

kobi's is fine, not much going on but i kinda prefer that over whatever was going on with the others'.

james' i like because it's pink and pink on dark complexion is UNDERRATED. personally i think it took TOO LONG for a dude to wear it. *thinks of rahim and bobby in blush pink*

i just don't think i missed out on much by not playing this season.

the islanders... appearance alone, because i haven't played any episodes, those are my opinions. i remember being so TORN when i first started season 2. gary, rahim, noah and bobby WERE DOING IT FOR ME, you know?

when lucas and henrik came along, same! the only people that didn't cause any stir with me were rocco, jakub, felix and elijah, but the others?? HOLY SHIT. i had to play on different accounts, i just had to.

this art style is not it. what was wrong with s2's?

also, it does look like multiple artists, from different backgrounds, worked on this season's characters and it absolutely shows. some of them look 2d, some 3d. some of them have some bounce to their hair, some look like they're wearing a helmet (*clears throat* YOUCEF AND TOM).

god, they didn't make one effort did they? anyway. those are my scores based off appearance alone.