#they are at negative levels of sanity

[lambilegs]

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striking a deal (sevika x reader)

contains: sevika being a jackass (what's new tho I still love her), gambling, reader sort of being a hater against gambling due to the negative impacts its had on their friend, enemies-with-a-bit-of-desire sort of vibe going on, reader is called a "girlfriend," very sfw, not much explicit romance and just a bit of flirting + attraction

a/n: hiii pookies so this is my first fic for miss sevika!! I hope it's accurate to her character and you all enjoy <33 would love to hear what y'all think hehe

art: four gentlemen of high rank playing primero

✮🃜🃚🃖🃁🂭🂺✮

"hey, do you know where I can find sevika?" you tentatively ask the bartender. he's some nervous looking kid who's probably going to quit after two weeks of witnessing the shit show that is the last drop since vander was killed.

not that you can blame him. you rarely frequent this part of the undercity, avoiding it for both the sake of safety and your own sense of sanity. you couldn't stand half the crap that went down here -- all the drunken fights, the sloshing of alcohol spilling and soaking through nearly every visitor's clothes, the lewd public displays that sent your face burning and ducking down -- and, of course, the gambling.

the damn gambling you had been imploring your friend, zafar, to put aside for almost half a year now. ever since he had lost his younger sister to an "intervention" enforcers had made at a party a year ago, every bad habit of his that had once been a small spring in the ground, roots shallow, had blossomed into a rotten, ugly plant that had spread faster than the blink of an eye could capture. you tried to be there for him, you did, but you also had your own family to take care of, and with his new friends being nothing but a bunch of enablers, he had now landed himself into a world of debt.

why, you ask? he had made the stupid decision to play with one of silco's little henchmen, sevika, whose reputation at cards is so notorious that even you've heard of it from your dinky little corner, far away from this place. you had heard rumours of her, some admiring, others downright terrifying. her help in smuggling shimmer, the ass-whooping she did for silco, how she was a constant presence when it came to the drug lord. that was enough to drain you of any admiration you could've beheld for such a strong woman. you had seen what shimmer did, the power it had in crumbling people's bodies, mental states, and their ability to keep living. you don't approve of anyone who's involved in the horrors of it.

the only reason you're here now is because zafar came to you sobbing this morning, grief heavy in his eyes over the money he had lost. he claimed sevika cheated it out of him, and while you still aren't sure as to how true that is, you'd at least try to set the record straight with her. you want to do something, anything, for standing around and watching zafar self-destruct no longer feels like a valid option. you promised him you'd try to see if you could convince her to return his money, under the condition of him avoiding gambling as best as he could and beginning to work part-time at the shop where you worked so he could have a more reliable source of income.

you can only hope this shitty plan will be in your favour. already, your stomach is tightening with anxiety, the knot circling and circling to bulge against your gut and make you slightly nauseated. but, you try to, at least physically, keep your cool, schooling your features to be calm, levelled and devoid of any jitters or twitches.

the bartender cocks his head to a dark corner near the jukebox. "right there. why, you've got business with her?"

a spring of irritation flickers through you at his prodding. the less he knows, the better. "in a way." you nod your thanks, then make your way to her.

you had seen flashes of sevika before. rallies, protests, gang fights. a blur of dark hair, a murky red cape and swinging fists. that's all she ever was to you. so, now, to behold her in her full state, feels... intimidating, to say the least. she carries herself as though the rickety wooden boards and worn out hinges of this place are her prized palace and she's the hailing king, rightfully seated on her throne. her dark lips are twisted into a leering smirk, haughtily bringing her cigar to them and taking a prideful puff from it. you swallow hard. you're definitely out of your league.

you linger nearby, watching through the crowd and awaiting an opportunity to approach her. when the men around her slam their palms down on the shared table, groaning and shutting their eyes in clear loss, her arm tossing towards them cockily, you stiffen up. you have an opening.

as the losers begin to file away, shoulders slumped in defeat, you can't help but feel a twinge of pity for them. everyone in this city struggles, one way or another. to have those struggles tied off with a loss in poker is a downright cursed fate. you try not to meet their eyes, sliding through the sweaty bodies until you reach her table.

you pause in front of her, hands twiddling as she collects the coins. you wait for her to look up, and when a few seconds pass and no such thing happens, you clear your throat.

eyes still casted onto the table, she speaks. her voice is like sand that's fallen through the surface of the ocean, rough and textured, impossibly deep and smooth. "you waited your turn long enough. what do you want?"

you flinch. "waited my turn?"

she tilts her head in the direction you came from. "you were lurking there. just watching, or is there something you need?"

jesus, and here you had thought you were at least a bit subtle. "oh, I--"

"didn't think I'd notice you?" she scoffs, scooping up the coins and pouring them into a small sack. "you almost fell head-first when bunny-face bumped into you."

your eye nearly twitches. "okay, well, good observation, I guess." honestly, it's impressive. you had expected her to be all brawn, no brain. "I'm here to talk to you about something."

her eyes finally meet yours. they're nearly silver, a dark grey that flashes under the colourful lights. her gaze is piercing, punctuated all the more by her dark eyebrows that are drawn in curiosity. "make it quick."

that's all you need. "okay, well, my friend, zafar, gambled with you last night."

"okay."

"well, you won, and took a bunch of his money." you wobble on your feet, hesitation seizing at you due to the accusation you're about to lay out. she could probably snap your neck in less than a millisecond. you've heard of her ability to totally crush any enemy designated to her by silco. definitely not a person whose bad side you want to get on. hopefully, nothing of the sort will happen if you express yourself in enough of a civilized way. "he, I don't know if it's true, but he says you cheated." you avert your eyes, the hand in your pocket gripping tightly onto the handle of your dagger. you haven't had to use it, not yet, at least, but in the undercity, it's better to be safe than sorry. and, frankly, you're expecting the worse from her.

which is why you nearly flinch when the corner of her lip twists up, and she says, "a common scapegoat for losers."

protectiveness immediately kicks in, searing through your body and urging you through your fear. you know it's hypocritical, considering you, too, don't fully believe him. but, still, you at least know his character, whereas she's just riding off her assumptions. "he could just as well be telling the truth."

"oh, yeah? is that why he sent his little girlfriend to save his ass?"

gross. the insinuation feels nearly as offensive as her insults towards him. "I'm not his girlfriend. and I volunteered to come here myself."

her eyes flicker up to you, and you rear back when they linger on your face, skimming over your features before settling back down to the table. "and while that's nice, and well, pretty stupid of you, I didn't do any cheating. anything he lost was because he couldn't play his hand well."

you grit your teeth together. "I'm not stupid. I just came here for a friend."

"a friend who clearly is a sloppy poker player and likely to lose to anyone who has the playing ability of a child." she snickers, and you catch sight of the split between her two front teeth, a little gap protruding. you force yourself to meet her eyes. the last thing you'd want is for her to catch you staring at her mouth.

what's worse is that you can't even argue back with her on this. for all you know, zafar very well may be a shit player. probably is, in all honesty. it wouldn't surprise you -- he always was impulsive as hell, and you wouldn't bat an eye to discover that challenging sevika had been an in-the-moment decision of his. but, you know what he's been through. you know how down in the dumps he is financially, and just how desperate he's gotten. his mourning has only made it worse.

"okay, well," you trail off, not really knowing where to continue. you didn't really lay a plan for yourself, and now that she's swiftly shut you down in a manner which you have no rebuttals for, you're not sure how to proceed.

"was that all?"

"no." you force your shoulders to straighten, hoping you sound somewhat firm, maybe even dignified. "is there any way you can return his money? he's been through a lot this year, and--"

she cuts you off with a bark of laughter, the raspy noise of it harsh and grating to your ears. the anger it's stirring in you probably isn't helping either. "okay. listen, friend of...?"

deadpan, you respond, "zafar."

she nods. "yeah, whatever his name is. this game comes with risks, and one of them is losing all your shit if you play with no tact."

you suck in a sharp breath at the condescension in her tone. "I'm well aware of that. but, listen, he's had a hard time of it lately, and--"

"and what? we've all had a hard time of it lately. if he chose to put his life's worth on the table, that isn't my problem."

"I'm not saying it is, but c'mon, can't you have a little empathy now and return his money?" you stick an incredulous finger at the table. "you have enough as is! no need to drain every zaunite of their hard-earned money before you're satisfied."

her eyes flutter in what seems to be exasperation, but you firmly planted, both on your feet and in your stance. physically, you can't do shit against this mass of muscle. but, maybe, just maybe, you can verbally get somewhere.

she stares up at you, elbows propped on her knees. "if it's so hard-earned, why did your friend gamble it away? are you asking me to return someone's money because they were an idiot?"

frustration begins to gnaw at your stomach, a burning sensation swarming through your insides and making you tense up. "I'm telling you, he's not in his right mind right now. things have happened in his family lately, and it's been hard for him."

"are you forgetting where you live? things happen in every family here. being smart is how you survive. if your friend can't do that..." she shrugs, continuing to sweep the coins into the opening of the sack. "then, that's not my problem."

"being a decent person helps in surviving in this place, too. being there for each other and our community. don't you care about that?"

her movements halt for a second, eyes flicking between you and the table. you nearly crack a grin and do a little rejoicing dance. bingo.

you add a sticky sweet tone to your voice, pleading and coaxing. you've heard she frequents babette's brothel, and if that's any indication about where her romantic interests lie, maybe you'll be able to woe her into complacency. "c'mon, I promise, he'll never gamble with you again, and if he does, take anything and keep it. but, please, just this one time, help him out, hm? do it for him, do it for your people."

her face, which was stoic only moments ago, shatters into a loud round of laughter, her palm smacking against her knee. "I gotta hand it to you, the 'for your people' thing was a nice touch." she stands up, and you try not to blink too hard at the sight of her towering over you. jesus, she's gigantic. no wonder people are scared shitless of her. no wonder you were scared shitless of her. "now, be honest. was the money yours? boyfriend left you and stole from the cookie jar? told you you had to come and get it back yourself?"

the more she talks, the more you get the sense that to her, this conversation is simply something to toy with, and just engage with as a playful little pastime. it only causes more anger to ooze within you, fiery and hot within your guts, like lava. this isn't a game. this is about people's lives, people's financial sustenance. she must earn a decent amount of time for her work for silco, and yet here she is, milking the people of zaun who don't know any better or who are too entrenched in their habits to put a stop to their gambling.

you want to make a jab at her that's as harsh as the blow to your ego was. it might risk you a limb, but you're praying the surprising amount of calm she's shown so far is a sign that your safety is secure. "you know what? I was stupid for coming here in the first place. to think one of silco's little servants would actually have a moral compass."

unfortunately, her irritatingly cool collection not only keeps your physical wellbeing in check, but does the complete opposite to your pride. for all she does is stare down at you, the long, blue scar seeping through her cheek curling as she chuckles, the noise husky and rough, like crushed velvet. "ouch. good one. anyone else might've gotten offended by that." her stormy eyes skip to your lips for a split second. "quite the mouth you have on you."

what the fuck is that supposed to mean? is that a pass or a genuine comment on your temper, which is very much flaring up? either way, you're determined to try harder to goad her. "yeah, well, I'm sure it has no impact on you, right? after all, you spend your days contributing to half the shit going down in this fucked up city."

her jaw suddenly clenches, mouth pressing together. you would've thought someone in this business would be a bit more discreet with the physical manifestations of their moods. but, sevika is like an open book, grey eyes wide, and eyebrows sunk down, her newfound disdain clear as day. "what the hell is that supposed to mean?"

"the shimmer," you answer, squinting at her, praying the expression conveys how stupid you think she is. "your little boss has just tossed it to this city and watches the damages of it unfold without doing shit. wasn't his glorious plan to make this city a better place, not fuck us over even more?"

"the shimmer is helping," she retorts, her voice harder than before, lined with a firm pressure that had been absent in her prior teasing and casual dismissal. "we have something that topside could only wish for, something that gives us an advantage."

"an advantage?" you laugh bitterly. the injustice of it all, the agony you see your people in everyday -- it all floods your insides, wracking you from within. "it's been years since it's come about, and nothing has changed. piltover is still on top, and in addition to that, they have hextech." you make sure your eyes pointedly lock onto hers, hoping she feels every single fibre of your rage. "just admit it. you guys haven't done shit."

"and what exactly are you doing?" her voice is lowered to a heavy whisper, and you feel the noises surrounding you two melt away into a light, background buzz. the iciness of her voice feels almost worst than any other stupid tone she's taken since you started interacting.

"something you and your boss don't seem to be helping at all with." you give her a tight-lipped smile, your gums aching with how hard your teeth press in together, the disjointed shapes of them uncomfortable and crooked as they mash at the edges. "trying to survive."

her nostrils flare, her burning glare pulsing through the barrier of your skin and making your insides turn from the onslaught of anxiety that enters. god, will she unleash some goons on you now or something?

"sevika!"

you jerk at the sudden sound, whereas sevika simply blinks down at you, gaze unrelenting. "what?" she calls out.

uncomfortable at having her eyes still pointed at you, you turn to the voice, seeing a man with small, rectangular glasses hanging off his nose looking awfully mopey.

"you promised us another round," the guy wails, tossing his hands in the air.

you swallow hard at the silence that ensues, still feeling her stormy eyes hooked onto you. after a moment, she says, "maybe later."

the man's shoulders sag as he heaves a dramatic sigh, turning to who seems to be his friend, whimpering, "she's too busy with her date."

you grimace at the mistake, though the disgust you feel at it is fused with an irritation directed at the way your stomach spins at the word 'date.' you're not stupid -- sevika is, objectively, pretty attractive. hot, some people might say. but, jesus, she's a bitch too. and working with silco, which makes for a very unappealing combination.

"come on," she drawls out. you turn back to her, the anger from before now replaced with a wide smirk, one sharp eyebrow lifted up inquisitively. "I can't be all that bad, can I?"

you roll your eyes. this conversation has strayed too much as is, and you're not about to let it tiptoe off into flirtatious territory. "are you going to give my friend back his money or not?"

"hm," she ponders, and lifting a hand to stroke her cheek. you can immediately catch a whiff of the falsehood in the gesture, and tap your foot, waiting for her to just solidify your assumption. "no, I won't. but, do give him my regards."

you grunt, shaking your head. despite your expectancy of it, you can't help but feel a stone of disappointment sink through the waters of your body, falling to the bottom with more impact than you'd like. you shouldn't expect anything of her, there's no reason for you to feel disappointment. your expectations shouldn't have gotten this high in the first place. "of course. have a good day."

as you whirl around to leave, she grabs your forearm, callouses brushing against your skin. "hey, I just turned down a poker game for you."

"uh, yeah, and as a reward, you get a departure from me that doesn't include a kick to the shin." you snatch your arm from her grasp, trying to direct your thoughts to her shitty words as a desperate attempt to ignore the warmth in your stomach. "you're welcome."

with her snarky laugh ringing in your ears, you practically dash to the door, wanting to get out as soon as possible.

it's awful, but at the opening, something in you whispers for you to look back once more. it's okay -- it's reasonable, right? you barely frequent this place, anyone would want to catch one last glance at such a notorious woman in your city, no matter how degenerate and callous she is.

the only con to this is as soon as you find sight of her through your tentative search of the crowd, she's already staring back at you. at being caught, you internally cringe, the feeling only intensified by a tenfold when she tips her head at you with a grin.

ugh. never again.

two weeks later, you find a crisp envelope laying out on the mat outside your front door. in neat, cursive writing, it reads:

A thank you gift for the free business consultation. Do with it what you will. Whether you or someone else needs it. - S

[omamervt]

I think that a flaw in a lot of the more ambitious horror RPGs I've read is that they all tend to go for the pitfall of Lovecraftian horror, but mechanize it, so it very often seems to end up as "roll to see if you lose sanity."

Some games, like Absurdia, handle this fairly well by not making it about your mental state along the way. It's more like... You can only handle pushing yourself so much before something bends or breaks.

but others, like Call of Cthulhu, seem to kind of operate on a "because I said so" type logic. From the APs I've listened to, at least, the GM seems like they just have the power to call for you to roll to Stay Sane or whatever. But it ends at the same destination, that dealing with The Horrors has a negative mechanical effect on your character, and if they experience too much Horror, you lose your character. the same as if they just die.

While this is interesting to think about from a narrative perspective, I think it ironically discourages players from playing like they're characters in a horror story. Which means everyone is operating on, like, Scream logic, where everyone is playing as The Guy Who Knows He's In A Horror Movie, even if they don't say it out loud.

What I'm MUCH more interested in, although I'm not sure how compatible it is with long-form play, is a game whose whole reward structure is built around Getting Your Player Characters To Do Stuff That Gets People Killed In Horror Movies.

Split the party! Go have sex in the guest bedroom while people are dying downstairs! Give in to the monster's threats/demands! Hide the weird not-quite-dog thing that followed you home under your bed for the night! Yeah, the killer will DEFINITELY fall for that trap! Wander off alone without telling anyone where you're going! It's FINE! If you survive, it's how you LEVEL UP!

[itshirohi]

What's Derpy's favourite thing about being the Mad God? What doesn't he like about it?

On the surface level, it's definitely all the power and chaos that comes with being the Mad God. There is never a boring day on the Shivering Isles in Derpy's opinion, there's always more cheese to summon, more subjects to play around with... overall pretty fun!

But going a little deeper, Derpy is the most happy about having a place where he belongs. He especially likes having Haskill around. Having lost pretty much all of his friends and close ones, he is absolutely clinging onto the friendship that's building between him and his new-found Chamberlain. Derps has been through a lot and lost a lot by the point he becomes the Mad God, so having a one constant in his life that he can be sure will most likely never change is a very comforting thing. Think of it as a tired old stray who had found his forever home that he can comfortably (and chaotically) spend the rest of his days in.

Generally in Derpy's opinion being the Mad God has more positives than it does negatives, but it's definitely not perfect either.

The thought of losing his individuality and sanity to the mantle of his new position is... scary, to put it simply, yet he both fears and welcomes it to some degree. The ever-growing chaos in his mind is hard to navigate sometimes, but perhaps all that disorder will eventually bring him peace, make him forget all the painful things he naturally struggles to let go off?

[lizardaggro]

on the flip side (twst bully!au) part 4

sorry this didn't get out sooner; my sleep issues are really upset (might be daylight savings?) and i spent most of the past few days feeling like a zombie. i'm better now though! it's also a bit shorter than i'd like, but i didn't want to leave you guys hanging. also two fics? in one day?? crazy!

part 1 part 2 part 3 genre: gn reader, angst trigger warnings: bullying, yandere has officially escalated word count: 897

“Child of man,” Malleus said. Even his voice felt suffocating. “Lilia has informed me that some… pests have been bothering you as of late.” He must mean the others. Did he really not know? Well, you supposed it wasn’t too farfetched, since he didn’t have any friends and everyone was afraid of him, especially after his Overblot. “You need only have let me know and I would have… taken care of them. But worry not. You’ll be safe here, where no one would dare to harm you.”

Oh no. Oh no no no. It was finally happening. Malleus had lost his mind. It felt a little nice, you’d admit, knowing that at least one person still cared for you. But that didn’t mean you could accept being trapped here for who knows how long. You still had to take care of Grim and attend classes. Not to mention you hated feeling trapped.

You knew you couldn’t count on anyone to save you. Lilia was the only one who might be able to make him see reason, but he seemed to be fully complicit in the matter. The dorm leaders might be somewhat capable if they worked together, but they’d have no motive for that, other than to torment you further.

Getting angry and yelling wouldn’t solve anything here. You had to be smart about it. “Tsunotarou, I can’t stay here. You know that,” you reasoned. “I have responsibilities to take care of. Besides, wouldn’t you grow tired of me? Everyone else did, after all.” You surprised yourself with how true your sentiments were. Maybe you harbored more negative feelings about all of this than you’d realized.

Naturally you were pissed that everyone turned on you, but you’d never really stopped to think about how lonely you’d been. Even your professors would hardly give you the time of day. You didn’t even know what you possibly could’ve done to set them off. Grim and the ghosts were the only ones whose attitudes never changed; but it wasn’t the same.

Malleus was pouting; there was simply no other way to describe the look on his face. “Surely you don’t mean that; not after everything they’ve done,” he quipped. Was he serious? In what way did he think you’d enjoy being trapped inside one tiny room for who knows how long?

“Yes. I do. And I don’t appreciate you taking away my freedom like this. If you really cared about me, you’d respect my wishes.” You hoped appealing to his emotions would work, no, you needed it to work. If it didn’t, you weren’t sure how long your sanity would last.

“I do care about you, Child of Man,” he objected. “Can’t you see that’s why I’m doing this? It isn’t safe out there. You’ll get hurt by those vile beings you once called friends.” He spat out that last word, like they were undeserving of the title. You didn’t know how to feel about that.

There was one thing you did know, however: this man was delusional. He’d gone paranoid with worries for your safety, even though he knew nothing just hours ago and was fine. He’d always been a little possessive, you’d noticed, but you’d brushed it off as him being afraid of losing his one and only friend. Now this? This was a whole new level.

Ah, but then you remembered. Malleus knew about most of the bullying, but not all of it. You doubted Lilia would’ve tattled on his own dorm members. You smiled, catching him off guard. “But am I any safer in here? I bet you don’t know, after all. You don’t know how Sebek would beat me in the halls, how Silver watches me everywhere I go. It’s creepy; I don’t like it. And I’m sure Lilia didn’t tell you how he tries to poison me with his cooking,” you listed calmly, as if you were having an ordinary conversation.

“They WHAT?!” Malleus shouted. “LILIA! SILVER! SEBEK! GET OVER HERE THIS INSTANT!” You flinched; he was usually so calm, you didn’t expect him to suddenly yell like that. It was good that he believed you, not that you were lying. You didn’t have a backup plan.

As the unfortunate trio entered the room, you made your way over to the door. You thought you’d managed to slip out unnoticed, but Lilia shot you a wink. Did that mean he’d keep his mouth shut about your escape? You could only hope.

You ran through the halls, Malleus’s shouting covering up the sounds of your footfalls. You knew this place like the back of your hand, so you weren’t at risk of getting lost. The only question was how long the lecture would last. If you were lucky, Lilia would buy you some time, but you wouldn’t count on it.

And then, at last, you were safe, on the other side of the portal. You were totally winded, after having had the run of your life. Everything seemed great, but then you heard a voice.

“Oya? What do we have here? What were you doing in Diasomnia, prefect?” Jade asked with a definitely fake smile like he didn’t know exactly what you were doing in Diasomnia. Oh, great. Azul was with him too. How… lovely. Staying with Malleus was starting to sound like it wasn’t so bad after all. No, nevermind. It was definitely worse.

taglist (CLOSED): @twistedcece @slxt4h1m @teawhere @pleasehugmeaether @reivelmin @aoiyx @trashlanternfish360 @probablynoposts @d3sperate-enuf @mono273 @help-whatdoimakemyusername @justuraverageeverydaydegenerate @im-here-for-the-fun-of-it

[mixelation]

i've been reading heavenly tyrant (the sequel to iron widow by xiran jay zhao). thoughts after finishing the first part below the cut.

note my impression is mostly critical so far, and so clicking will reveal negativity. i assume most people have control over their own ability to gauge if they can handle this or not, but i've been proved wrong before

bullet points:

i feel the writing has improved on a structural level, but frequently veers into strange twitter-esque rants about the evils of capitalism? and often there are very first draft vibes to descriptions

there is a scene-- i shit you not-- where zetian accuses qin zheng (a legendary emperor who was frozen for 200 years that zetian woke up) of treating her like he owns her, and then makes a quip about how a guy who's against private property shouldn't be like that. qin zheng then replies-- i shit you not-- by explaining the difference between private and personal property. then he says something like "i have to go reform the education system" and leaves. i choose to believe this is a joke for my own sanity, but it is genuinely unclear

one of my complaints about iron widow is that the last 2/3-ish of the book seem to lack focus because zetian doesn't really have a specific goal, she's just doing stuff. in the first third of this installment, she spends 85% of her time confined to a single room. so now she doesn't seem to have much of a goal (she keeps talking about learning how qin zheng became powerful, taking that power, and killing him... but it's unclear why she wants to do this or what she thinks will happen if she succeeds) AND she's not even doing stuff.

i do like qin zheng more than shimin or yizhi. probably because he is the only one in this book making any sort of decisions. that being said, his ~toxic situationmance~ with zetian isn't... like... fun? they just don't like each other

if you liked yizhi or shimin then bad news!!!! they're barely here!!!! i didn't really care so i'm having fun with this new guy. how are you going to uplift the common man but live in a palace, new guy? hmm?

also zetian has gone from "ridiculous but fun to watch break things" to just like. unlikeable. it's to the point where it's hard to feel bad for her because some of her problems really do feel like they wouldn't exist if she was just, like, polite.

ANOTHER complaint i had about iron widow was that there was too much telling instead of showing. i felt this had improved a little with heavenly tyrant, as we see zetian actually attempting positive interactions with women (one of her repeatedly stated goals in the first book was wanting to help girls, and yet we barely saw her give a shit about any individual woman) and the narrative actually gives itself enough room to have zetian and qin zheng interact. however qin zheng keeps giving speeches about new policies he's going to use to fix society and folks, we have not been shown all these societal problems. like at all. there's medical debt? educational debt? no named character has these problems. i did not know these problems existed in this society before this speech.

also his big plans really do read like a 16 year old on tumblr making up an imaginary government based on some posts they read and 0 real world experience. slay

a lot of the reviews on storygraph complain it's too slow but honestly i read the first ten chapters really quickly because like. what is happening here. we'll see if anything manages to happen in the next part

[yanderenightmare]

Do you normally get any 'ew, you're disgusting' shit in your inbox? I just now posted my first incest fic and got one like 'i hope you don't have any siblings lalala'. Prior to that, I was like "how do these authors go untouched by antis?" but then I realised that it was a tad bit naive of me lol. I was going to respond with a taunt but decided to just delete it because it wasn't worth the effort.

Are they frequent and are they easy to ignore?

On Dealing with Haters/Critics

Good question! I was actually going to make a post on this, as others have asked me the same thing, so here we go!

♡ Personal Experience!

I get my fair share of hate from time to time—more often when I publish things that are more taboo than other excepted things—for example, like you say, incest, as well as bestiality, wide age gap, born-sexy-yesterday readers, etc.

It's an odd thing, as haters will often accept the fact that I write rape for titillation but will take issue with these other tropes. But anyway, we can talk about the nonsensical opinions of haters all day, but it wouldn't really do us any good.

So, here's my advice.

♡ First Off, Accept that Haters are Gonna Hate!

Some people won't like what you write. And that's fine. The problem is that they feel the need to tell you that—at which point, you'll just have to console yourself by telling yourself that no decent person would be rude to a total stranger whom they don't know the first thing about and, therefore, whatever they have to say warrants neither second thought nor reply.

With that being said, however...

♡ You Gotta Do What Feels Right!

Engage or don't engage, do what you need to feel at peace. Sure, you can be the so-called bigger man and ignore all the meanies, but you absolutely don't have to!

Of course, we can be cool as cucumbers and say, "Not worth the effort," but who are we kidding? This is Tumblr, and you're allowed to rant when you want in whatever manner you want!

So, if you feel you gotta bite back to maintain your sanity, then that's what you should!

However, I do believe there's a way to go about it!

♡ Never Go to Bed Angry!

This is my personal advice, but if you ever choose to acknowledge hate or critique, do so with tact and with based and factual arguments instead of slinging heated insults in return.

This way, you walk away from the fight feeling good about what you've said and not worse off than before. In other words, don't stoop down to their level.

I actually feel in many ways that answering hate can be rather therapeutic this way, as you've succesfully turned something negative into soemthing positive!

♡ The Difference Between Hate & Critique!

Actually doesn't matter. You're not really obligated to answer either if you don't want to.

But for the sake of differentiating the two: "Ew, you're disgusting" is hateful slander, but "Incest is wrong, and you're actively condoning it by writing what you write" is a genuine critique.

And it bears repeating, you don't have to address either because you don't owe anyone anything.

People are entiteld to their opnions just as much as you're free to disagree, and ignore if you want!

But something I've found is that explaining it to those who don't understand why we write such things, and furthermore why people want to read it without being interested in such things in real life, is actually quite a rewarding thing to do!

And by that, I mean it might make your critics and haters understand and rethink their comments, but it can also help your existing fans deal with their own similar self-loathing, and lastly, it's even great for your own mental health for when you yourself doubt your own mental standing!

Personally, in regard to the example I used above, when I get hit with the "you're condoning this and that" I just play the argument that those who play violent videogames aren't condoning the killing carried out by their avatar. Naturally, when roleplaying a fictional version of ourselves, we're not actually playing as ourselves.

Some people have a very hard time understanding this for some reason.

But anyway, moving on.

♡ Final Advice!

Ignore and delete any and all the dumb, off-handed comments you feel like. If and when you want, return their rudeness with a cheeky smile and a slap on their ass. Be as cordial as you can be but as sassy as you feel you must—like an aged Queen who drinks her fair share of likewise wine.

But whatever you do, don't ever make things personal!

Though that's also my personal advice. I think, by making personal attacks, you're not being factual anymore, and you'll only feel worse for it. And by personal attacks, I mean calling people ignorant, dumb, awful, etc. You can, of course, say that their chosen words were in ill taste, but going after them themselves won't make you feel better. So, I'd suggest avoiding it.

Anyway, hope this helps!

♡ NIGHTMARE'S HELPDESK

[nostalgic-shamefest]

Deadass though, let's play script doctor cause the patient is coding. How to fix the mess in our hands:

1. Probably best route. Bobby's coma dream.

Pretty self explanatory. Everyone is acting wildly out of character cause they're not themselves. They are Bobby's perceptions of them. Bobby who knows his wife will be impacted, but who -having only recently dealt with his intense suicidal tendencies- doesn't yet comprehend the level of impact his loss would have on the people in his life. He expects Chim to be angry at him for not consulting him on the choice, making the monologue about there being no other choice his own subconscious regrets and pondering. He expects Buck to be strong, just like he asked and not need him there, cause that's what he genuinely hopes for, for him. He knows Hen will cry but thinks she should embrace her role as captain in his place. He expects Eddie to be preoccupied with his own family drama and not really show up besides to mourn him, cause again he doesn't think he's all that important to the people that love him. And he obviously knows he'll devestate his wife. He expects her to throw herself into her work. He wishes and convinces himself his step kids move on immediately and just cry at his funeral momentarily, cause the thought of them suffering is unimaginable.

It's all tied up by the beautiful bow of the subplot being a memory of his. Bobby was there. Bobby remember losing that baby to the fire. Bobby is telling his wife this story to convince her to let go, in his own subconscious

In reality after he collapses he's immediately put on life support and Chim's blood gets drawn so they can remake the cure from his antibodies. Bobby wakes up to find the havoc his impending loss has caused to his loved ones. He entirely reconsiders how he views the importance of his life for the people around him

Positives: last episode makes the tiniest bit of sense/ Actual exploration of long term suicidality recovery process/ juicy chance to explore what actually happened to the characters during Bobby's coma, dare I say even next season.

Negatives: they're for sure not doing that at all. I'm convinced they don't have a fuck to spare for these characters anymore. Doubt they could pull something like that off.

2. Classic 911 fuckery, the resurrection

Fuck realism we're going beenado evil doppelganger up in this bitch. The disease actually only makes someone appear dead. Idk how the fuck he survived the freezer. Don't ask me. Plot hole alert. He wakes up buried next to his dead family. Memory loss could be very interesting here. He wakes up with very little recollection of his life at the place where he experienced his most severe trauma. He gets to rediscover who he is and what he did. Will he choose to go to LA again? Will he lead himself down another path completely. News of his empty grave send his poor window on a downward spiral since last episodes subplot makes her doubt her own gut and sanity.

Maybe she finds him next season. Maybe that's the cliffhanger. Or maybe she finds him and he doesn't recognise her. How will she convince him to come back to her after he's found out what he's done, without any memory of all his progress

Positives: juicy Bobby drama/ heavy angst/ maddie boston parallel type shit/

Negatives: heavy bobby nash character regression/ doesn't fix the bad out of character writing in the last episode/ they're not doing it at all they don't care they hate their audience I-

3. Classic 911 fuckery, electric boogaloo.

Lab rat Bobby

We're going full tin foil hat on this one. The disease makes you momentarily appear dead. He is being kept in a chemical coma by the lab scientists and is being experimented upon. Because he's the last living organism to have carried the virus. Something something big conspiracy. Heavily supported by the lack of corpse!Bobby (I'm so sorry for that) showing up. He eventually manages to wake up, breaks out and shows up on national television or something, forcing them to let him go. He signs an NDA and that that on that. It's another action lacked little nothing of a plot but then Bobby is back and we proceed with the show.

Positives: bobby's alive/ shaw trap ass plot

Negatives: shaw trap ass plot/ sucks ass kinda/ doesn't explain yesterday's horrible horrible writing choices/ basically this would have worked if last episode got retconed/ they're not doing it they don't care.

[det2x-fanfic-dump]

Levi's Powers and Abilities

Disclaimer: This is my headcanon and basically as reference for my the fanfiction and is a repost from my last year's post because there's a lot of changes and additions. This is just inspired from my knowledge of the game and does some stuff to spice up.

Celestial creatures such as demons in the Devildom and Angels in the Celestial Realm are indeed strong in both magic and strength but have you ever thought on why demons requires to be in a pact with humans or angels needs to be a human's guardian angel?

Because in the human world, they require a mortal host to be able to do certain magic in the human world.

POWER AND ABILITIES:

Leviathan relies on both his magic and physical strength when in demon form. Being the third eldest, he's one out of seven that doesn't rely heavily on humans for magic energy in the human world; however, he can do just fine alone in terms of physical strength.

LEVEL 01 Abilities: These are passive abilities that demons can do easily that affects human lifestyle.

Detects the feeling of Envy  of humans 

Although Levi can't make people envious, he can worsen it by giving humans self-pity and negativity. May it be in a form of anger or being emotionally dramatic.

[Limitation: This only works in the Human World and to mortal beings such as Humans and animals. Fellow demons and angels  and those who made a pact are immune. ]

Cure Curses and provide Poison 

In RPG language, he sees himself LARP-ing as a Healer class. He is very knowledgeable about dispelling curses in the human world. However, he can't heal wounds or illnesses in full.  Leviathan is also part snake. He can poison humans or his victims by biting just like venomous snakes do.

Reason: 

Dispelling Curses is one of his powers in the canon game. However, I added poison in this category because both relate to health. Given that Levi is a water elemental, I imagine him being a healer.

A Strategist with Physical Tail Strength

Leviathan was once a high ranked general in the Celestial Realm before. Even though he doesn't have an army to order anymore, his tactics are still useful because he often uses them in strategy-based games. He was quite a strong angel before however after becoming a demon, all his strength went to his tail, making him a fast swimmer and can even constrict someone using his tail.

Reason: 

I always had the thought that Levi still has his abilities as an angel before. He has full self-confidence and bravery in the field, however, ever since he had fallen to the Devildom and sin, he became  self-conscious and isolated making him the baby girl that we love.

LEVEL 02 Abilities: These are abilities passive abilities that demons can do that is inclined to magic. It may require someone's magical energy.

Water Elemental 

Levi can manipulate any form of water and conjure water spells.  He can bring rains, fish and floods to both land and sea. Being known as the avatar of water, he can talk or attract any sea creatures living in water and control them to do his bidding.

Reason: 

I gave Leviathan the power of a god, controlling and manipulating water. Since he is one of the princes of hell and representative of the sin of Envy, that's basically equivalent to a god in my opinion.

Level 03: These abilities require a lot of magical energy, has to rely on a human's magic and their life. Highly dangerous as this may affect their sanity.

Summon Lotan and the Gatekeeper of Devildom

He can summon the Mythical Sea Serpent, Lotan at any time and place but this requires envious emotions, may it be jealousy and pity from either him or his pact human. If there is no body of water nearby, the skies, may it be outside or inside will rain and flood heavily. He may also summon sea life wherever and whenever.

About Lotan: [HC]  

Lotan consists of multiple sea creatures that Leviathan controlled by will, making Lotan have one or multiple heads or be any monstrous sea creature. 

Entering Lotan's mouth is one of many ways to enter the Devildom. However, it is the traditional way and Levi doesn't like the idea of  getting drenched by saliva so he prefers and recommends teleportation  items and other means of transportation instead.

"In the name of Leviathan, Avatar of envy and master of water itself, I command my other half. Come forth, Lotan!"

Reason:

According to demonology, Leviathan's mouth is the entrance to hell. Since Lotan is the equivalent of the Sea Serpent Leviathan. Lotan will basically be Levi's other half.

GIFTS THAT LEVIATHAN WILL GIVE TO MORTALS.

The gift of controlling water creatures. 

Ability to Breathe underwater. This includes being great excelling at swimming

The gift of having armies. The power to manipulate other creatures to do the mortal’s bidding. This is because of Levi’s military skills. 

To summon a Trident or the Hana Ruri Shovel as a weapon. No one can wield the trident other than Levi and the pact human.

Note: In exchange for such gifts,  said mortal will be cursed to wear cosplay and be a magical girl that they are whether they like it or not. With a free pink Hana Ruri shovel.

[noval1t]

a compilation

A small collection of the boys!

Their names? Donnie is signal, leo is static, mikey is waves and finally raph is radio. They're a mess and old but they still keeping their internal gremlin child nurtured.

And by nurtured i mean they're sanity levels are in the negative but are just really good at hiding that fact.

[jmdbjk]

In my purest delusions and unpopular opinions...a random list.

My delusions and opinions.

More for my own sanity: Jimin and Jungkook are safe and sound with trusted fellow soldiers surrounding them every day. They fulfill their daily activities and are feeling some level of accomplishment, satisfaction and pride through them. In my purest delusion, they are insulated from the negativity going on in the outside world due to their isolated location. They are only told what they need-to-know. Of course, they are up-to-the-minute informed about the things that are pertinent to their current duties but in my purest delusion, they are not aware of the vilest of vile things that have been going on. There is no need for them to be distracted by it at the moment.

Opinion: Hanteo Chart is corrupt and inaccurate because it is owned by Kakao which also owns SM Entertainment so that renders that chart meaningless. Regarding BTS or the members' winning any of these, the Fact Music Awards and VMAs are worthless because many of their awards are fan-voted and they use that for engagement. None of these awards have any impact on BTS's or the members' success. These days, they only serve the fans' egos. Though of course, for other groups who are not BTS, any award is important.

Opinion: Most people do not thoroughly process and comprehend what they read online. A lot of what the fandom believes is from the power of suggestion. Even I am influenced by this phenomenon. If I am very acutely interested and invested I will devour every detail of a situation, but as soon as my interest wanes, that energy dissipates and I just take what I read in headlines as the status of the situation (the power of suggestion) and it may or may not be 100% accurate.

Opinion: Social media posts that are not complete thoughts or sentences that are grammatically incorrect due to author error or lack of language/writing skills are easily misunderstood and have the ability to spread misinformation and misunderstanding which can be difficult and sometimes impossible to undo. Such is the nature of social media. Its the doom of humankind as we know it.

In my purest of delusions, when Jimin and Jungkook are discharged, they will move into that black metal fortress that Jungkook built. It is a huge structure with 5 floors and a beautifully landscaped outdoor area. Jungkook being a not very social person, there is no reason to have such a large house. His best friend/partner/lifelong significant other, will move in with him. They will live there peacefully behind those tall secure walls. Jungkook will exploit his newly acquired cooking skills to his heart's content in his wildly expensive and fully equipped kitchen. Bam will have the run of the house and a doggie door so he can go in and out whenever he wants.

Opinion: We must stop saying "we were cheated out of this," "we were deprived of seeing this between them," "they edited it, why didn't they show us all of it!" "when will they say this or tell us that?" It is not our right to claim ownership of things that are not ours. It is not ours to decide if we see things between Jimin and Jungkook. Those things belong to them. To claim we are being cheated is pure selfishness. Am I guilty of saying this? Yes. And its not right. I will do better. They show us A LOT. A LOT, A LOT already.

In my wildest and purest virgin delusion: Filming for Are You Sure? season 4 (Jungkook said Sapporo was season 3 so that's my reference point) will commence at some point after their military discharge, perhaps shortly after, over a long weekend in the U.S. in the Rocky Mountains somewhere where they can see snow of the likes they've never seen before, snowboard on slopes they can't imagine exist. Season 5 will be scheduled for Budapest where the group will be headed to film the comeback MV. Season 6 will be them exploring Busan during Christmas. And on and on. We have 12 seasons coming.

AND FURTHERMORE... this isn't delusional at all, its pure fact:

Who owns Weverse? Hybe. Whatever fees other artists pay to be on Weverse to host their activities there or Weverse shop to sell merch and albums... Weverse makes money, BTS members make money.

Among the many groups paying these fees to be on Weverse and Weverse Shop: EXO, Blackpink, PLAVE, NCT (all iterations), aespa, SHINee, NewJeans, Enhypen, Seventeen. Weverse makes money, BTS makes money. The latter three groups are active artists on Hybe's subsidiary labels. If those labels make a profit from their artists work, guess who else makes money? BTS members.

People who are still engaging in fandom pissing wars on X with other kpop fandoms... stop lowering yourselves to their level. Time to get out of the mud. Look up at the stratosphere instead because that's where our men exist. Reflect on that instead of engaging in nonsensical fan war fighting.

Get yo ass outta trunk.

I don't know what else Namjoon can say to you guys for you to get your head out of your asses and get with the program. We are moving in different circles here, you either keep up or stay behind.

LASTLY, a legit question. At what point in a man's life, in a Korean man's life, in a Korean male idol's life... is it NOT ok to snuggle or cuddle with their male friend? Or even their biological brother? When is it crossing the line and no longer considered acceptable behavior? When do Koreans believe it is time to stop that sort of behavior? When men are in the 20s? 30s? 50s? Is there such a point? Or do Korean idols get a pass because of what they do for a living? Because I don't see other Korean men of any age doing what Jimin and Jungkook do. Ever. Just sayin.

[snowe-zolynn-rogers]

Solar: So on the line of sanity, where are you right now.

Eclipse, high and crying hanging off Solar: Hide me, I’m begging you! I don’t want to be near the fish in the ball pit anymore, it has sixty rows of teeth!

Solar: We’ll say negative sanity levels, got it.

[t-allyitup]

core traits

edd:

dark trait is manipulation (hear me out) i really do think one of edd's biggest dark area traits is that he ultimately wants everyone to get along to the point of destruction, i did post about this a bit ago in relation to my fic but i feel like this desire would lead him to bending his morals and sacrificing his own sanity/peace for everyone to get along. i feel like he could easily go down the road of either 1. manipulating, blackmailing, etc etc people into staying on good terms/keeping the peace or 2. letting himself get walked all over or used or something in order to keep tension at a stasis point

as for light traits definitely his humanism, he genuinely cares about his friends and people on the cul de sac and in multiple episodes despite his participation (and sometimes masterminding) the scams he tends to prioritize safety and comfort initially, even if the sentiment is lost during the actual scam

grey traits in my opinion would be his unquestioning loyalty/blindness to failure in authority figures (his parents mainly, this isn't necessarily a bad thing it can just become very stressful and dangerous) and obsessive/compulsive nature (can be a good thing when he's concerned about safety, can be a bad thing when it drives him to be controlling (containing vs restraining))

ed:

ed's dark trait is spitefulness. hear me out! again! ed rarely shows negative emotion outside of sadness, but when he does get angry or upset, he tends to get that way as a reaction to the behavior of others. he went back and forth with double d calling him "stinky hat" when double d wanted to take his cheese, and when he got that rock in his shoe he tried to annihilate eddy because eddy was fed up and insulting him. ed reacts out of spite, not always, but it's a pretty clear trait.

light trait is his acceptance of others and openness to experience, which combine with each other well. he has a broad emotional pool and is seen "communicating" (acting responsively) to plank in a few episodes. he is validating of his friend's choices and participates in their scams/activities

grey area is his response to change. he clearly harbors some kind of difficulties with this, just various comments throughout the show and some inferences shows that he seems uncomfortable with it (cheese episode again but he would not let go of that mf)

eddy:

dark traits with eddy is a where do i even start situation. he shows lots of the qualities of machiavellianism, egoism, self interest, and spitefullness. i think in my opinion his trait is self interest. i think eddy does feel bad about what he does to the other cul de sac kids but self interest is his obsessive desire and he has a massive preoccupation with his need to fit in/feel seen so self interest is the one.

light trait is, as you probably guessed, his charisma. it is one of his most magnetic qualities and occasionally the only redeeming quality about him in general. he is compelling and direct in his approaches, genuine or not, and he channels his charisma effectively even if he uses it for evil sometimes

grey area would have to be his seeming emotional detachment from things. could lean to psychopathy, could lean to a trauma-informed response to his situations in the past. either way it creates a lower level of empathy but a higher level of protection for himself so maybe it's a grey area trait

[mekrowave]

random willow thoughts copy-pasted directly from my ramblings in discord

1 - i think she is generally kind of a shitty member of the camp. she can be flakey at best with chores, and struggles to handle long term interaction with other people. to cope with this, she spends most of her time off on her own. the most reliable time to get ahold of her is at night, where she is almost always keeping the campfire burning throughout the dark of the night.

2 - bernie in some way responds to both her sanity level and her amount of negative emotion. he won't become hostile unless willow perceives something as a threat. he isn't sentient, really, but more of an extention of her.

3 - she attempted adventure mode sometimes for fun, but never took it seriously and didn't usually last very long. too cold in all of those harsh winter worlds.

3.5 - on the note of winter, on her own she rarely made it past winter. she had a bad habit of never really settling down, burning both ends of the candle so to speak as she rambled and roamed across the constant. when she did build a base, it was usually a matter of time before it ended up in smoke. (there have been a handful of incidents where she has burnt down parts of the camp or otherwise caused or almost caused significant damage. this is another reason she usually doesn't stay there very long.

4 - willow likes people, but she genuinely just doesn't understand a lot of social things and was never really taught them either. even if she genuinely wants to be good to someone it will still come out in an odd way.

[anim-ttrpgs]

Composure, Tiers of Fear, and Monsters in Eureka: Investigative Urban Fantasy

Time to make another post about a cool mechanic in Eureka: Investigative Urban Fantasy, this time about Composure, a mechanic that has actually been mentioned a bunch of our other posts because it interacts with a lot of other mechanics, but hasn’t gotten its own post. Hopefully this will make all those other posts make a lot more sense.

So, every PC in Eureka has a Composure of 7. Think of Composure as kind of an emotional HP, though it is not ‘sanity’. Composure loss represents stress, fear, fatigue, and anything else that can make people not quite work at their peak performance.

Here’s how that works:

Normally, a character’s base stats for any skill max out at +3. +3 in Eureka is actually a very good modifier and will make the roll very very likely to succeed, and it represents expertise in the subject of the skill in question.

Composure, however, caps those skills. If a PC has 7/7 Composure, they’re fine, and their skills are unaffected. But a base skill modifier(the modifier that comes from putting skill points into a skill) can never be higher than the level of a PC’s current Composure. So if a PC has only 2/7 Composure, then that +3 becomes a +2. Skills that were already +2 are unaffected, but the PC now can’t make use of the full extent of their skill. Their hands are shaking, sweat is dripping in their eyes, they’re tired, and they’re more likely to mess up because of all this. At 1/7 Composure, their skills max out at +1, and at 0/7 Composure, their skills max out at +0. Thankfully, Composure cannot go into the negatives, but having +0s at best for all rolls is pretty bad.

There are ways to get around the Composure cap, but I’m not going to get into that for the sake of simplicity. You can find the full rules explanation for free in the shareware version of the rulebook on our website.

One way that PCs lose Composure is by making Composure Rolls whenever they encounter something particularly threatening. Failing these rolls takes away Composure. The modifier for these rolls is dictated by their Tiers of Fear.

-3 Horrific: -2 Terrifying: -1 Frightening: 0 Unnerving: +1 Creepy: +2 Obnoxious: +3 Ridiculous:

Tiers of Fear is a little chart on the character sheet that tells you how scared they are of certain things. There are mandatory Fears that must go on this chart, such as gunfighting, but players can also add their own.

What is “horrifying” and what is “ridiculous�� varies from person to person. For example, an adventurous whip-swinging college professor who brawls with Nazis on a seemingly regular basis might consider a fistfight Obnoxious and a shootout Unnerving at worst, but any kind of snake is firmly in the realm of Terrifying or worse.

Whip-slinging Archaeologist Example Tiers of Fear -3 Horrific: Snakes -2 Terrifying: -1 Frightening: Monster +0 Unnerving: Witchcraft/Magic, Gunfight, Blood/Gore, Death, Corpse +1 Creepy: Arachnids +2 Obnoxious: Extreme Heights +3 Ridiculous: Fistfight, Melee Weapon Fight

So when gun combat starts, the PCs must first make a Composure Roll with a modifier based on how much they fear getting shot at. A worse modifier, obviously, makes it more likely they will lose Composure points.

There are also ways to lose a flat amount of Composure points, such as by skipping a meal or staying up all night, and ways to restore Composure points, such as eating 3 meals a day and getting a full night of sleep(resulting in a restoration of 2 Composure points a day.) Composure points can also be restored by the PCs comforting each other. See the rulebook for the full rules.

Here’s where it gets really interesting, though.

PCs that are literally Monsters.

Monsters are not limited to +3 in Skills, they’re supernaturally powerful, certain skills can go up to +6 or sometimes even higher. (They can still only put 3 skill points into a skill though. See the full rulebook for rules on how to make a monster PC.) link

Because their skills can go so high, they obviously start feeling the effects of the Composure cap a lot sooner, but for a lot of types of monsters, the way they gain and lose Composure is very different. Vampires, obviously, do not fear guns very much, nor do they have to worry about eating normal food or getting a good night’s sleep. This means that while their opportunities to lose Composure are fewer, they also have fewer ways to gain it… that’s where the part about eating people comes in.

Monsters eat people to restore composure. Not every monster literally “eats” people, but you get the idea. They hunt people and do their thing, or else, organically by the way Composure works, their supernatural powers will start to wane. This gives monster PCs a choice: Do they eat innocent bystanders to keep their strength at its peak, or do they let themselves wither and soldier on weak and helpless in the hopes of sparing more lives?

Note: No, you cannot just eat “bad people” who “deserve” to be eaten. If you have enough time, foresight, and detective skills to effectively and consistently determine if every meal is a “bad person” that “deserves” to die, why haven’t you already solved the whole mystery by yourself then, hotshot? Engaging in one’s True Nature may be a necessity for continued existence, but do not pretend this is an act of heroism.

You can pick up the free shareware version of this game from the download link on our website, or the full version for $5 from our Patreon.

[a1sh1teruu]

fic recs by zerda

ateez

mists of celeste by @hongism [m]

note:: i lovelovelove this series so much, i’m making up my own fanfic about it. it’s so intensely written, the complexity of the characters and the lore just makes me want to read it over and over again (probs did it four times already). the world building is another level, pictures and inspirations of the systems and the planets of the system is the cherry on top imo, because it just helps so much with visualization. and lets be honest, i’d totally fuck hongjoong but also kill him in his sleep.

murphy's law by @atzfilm [m]

note:: read this in one go and it was so fun! the concept of aliens and peacemakers that aren’t actually peacemakers but just people who do it for shits and giggles, made me invested. especially the plot twists made me read one paragraph more than i should have.

love you to death by @/atzfilm

note:: i was BAWLING my eyes out on this one. like. fr. the ending was mwah and unexpected. the whole process kept me awake and my heart fluttering (positively and negatively) that had me thinking that i needed to be shocked.

noctem by @pocketjoong [m]

note:: i am, and still will be, the biggest nerd when it comes to shit with with dragons etc. my love for httyd goes WAY back into my childhood years, and this series had be BOUND by its chains. i love reading it, i love setting myself i to this world, and i love the way you write, lovie.

wicked games by @tohokuu [m]

note:: hades will always know my love for this piece of art. it never gets too old. i’ve read it more than i can count, and every. single. time. my life turns upside down. my love for this fic will never die. thank you, hades.

elysium rising by @/tohokuu [m]

note:: after wicked games, this is my fav fic of hades. it made me question my existence AND taste in men. this fic had me buying the a touch of darkness series real quick and now they sit on my desk :).

can't take my eyes off of you by @bobateastay [m]

note:: one of my first ateez fics i ever read. it’s so filthy, it had me question my sanity. it will always linger in the back of my mind. mwah x

more tba..

[cosmicjoke]

Levi’s selfishness when it comes to Erwin is crucial to understanding his character arc, and understanding why Mikasa was able to break Ymir’s curse, and not Levi

Why do you think the story took every single opportunity they could to remind you everyone thought that Levi made the wrong decision by letting Erwin die? It was because it had to set up the contrast to Mikasa, who had the courage to do what was best for humanity, vs Levi who couldn’t bring himself to do what was best for everyone, instead he did what was best for him and Erwin.

You're an idiot.

It's pretty obvious that you can't think of any way to hold Mikasa up without putting Levi down, which shows that you don't actually understand Mikasa's character, or Levi's on any level. You're so determined to paint Mikasa as the one, true hero of AoT, that you clearly feel threatened any time someone even suggests that the other characters can also be called heroic. Specifically, you seem to get a bug crawling up your ass and dying each time I make a post talking about Levi's heroism, to the point you constantly have to send me these lame as fuck anon messages trying to "prove" that it's Mikasa who was the hero, and not Levi, constantly pitting them against one another when my posts talking about Levi's heroism have zero to do with Mikasa. And you know what? I think it's because you know, deep down, that it's actually Levi who most genuinely embodies that ideal.

Mikasa learned her selflessness from Levi. Mikasa spends fully 99% of the story doing everything she does in the hopes of her and Eren ending up together, and in the last moment, is finally able to let him go. Her entire drive for the majority of the story is one of self-interest. She wants to be with Eren, she's in love with him, which is why she follows him everywhere and lets him pull her and everyone else into unfavorable situations and still refuses to accept what a horrible person he is. It's because she has an idealized image of who he is in her head, because he saved her life when she was a child and at her lowest point. And so she keeps dreaming of running off with him and them having their happily ever after, and everyone else can get fucked in the process. It's also why it's specifically Mikasa that has to break the curse of Ymir. It has nothing to do with her having some special ability to make the selfless choice when Levi can't, it's to do with her relationship with Eren being a distinct parallel to Ymir's relationship with Fritz. Mikasa has to learn to let go of her selfish dream in order to help save humanity, and that's what inspires Ymir to let go of her dream, too. Being with Eren is Mikasa's one, true desire, just like being with Fritz was Ymir's one, true desire, and why the Titan curse continued on through thousands of years. Mikasa learning to accept that Eren was a bad person and wasn't ever going to put her before his own, selfish desires, and that her dream of him returning her love was never going to come true, is what allows Ymir to realize and accept the same about Fritz.

That you don't see how Levi letting Erwin go, or how in watching Levi make that decision, Mikasa was able to learn to let go too, shows that you need to go back to school and work on your media literacy. If anything, it's Mikasa learning to let go from Levi that's then paralleled by Ymir learning in turn to let go from Mikasa.

And how the fuck was letting Erwin die "best for Levi", when, as I've spoken about innumerable times, it left Levi without any sense of direction and bereft of certainty as to his own role in their fight? Levi depended on Erwin to direct him, and guide his strength, and Levi willingly gave that up for the sake of Erwin's own sanity. Again, if you had any concept of who Levi actually is as a character, and what actually drives him, his desire to help people and use his strength to that end, you would understand why that loss was so devastating to him and why it had such a negative impact on him going forward. If you think that's selfish, then you've got a seriously warped definition of the word.

Your entire argument also hinges on the false conceit that Levi made the "wrong choice" by letting Erwin die, which he didn't, and I won't bother wasting my time trying to explain to you why, as I've gone over this so many times already and in painstaking detail. To put it briefly, though, again, the themes of AoT and actually understanding them depends entirely on understanding why the choice Levi made was in fact the correct one. Giving up ones humanity for any cause isn't meant to be seen as a good thing. There can be no "greater good" if in the process of bringing it to fruition, we lose sight of what makes us human to begin with. Floch is a good example of what it looks like when we lose our humanity to ideology. Zeke is another good example. Mikasa didn't have to give up her humanity in order to save humanity, she just had to give up the person she loved. She just had to give up on a personal dream. We see Levi's humanity and compassion toward others again and again throughout the story, because within the context of the story, he's meant to represent this idea of retaining ones humanity and empathy in the face of cruelty and against ideological pursuits. He's never able to become a monster, and he isn't willing to let anyone else become one either, and that's a good thing. It's heroic. It shows how much Levi actually believes in humanity's worth. And, ultimately, it's the one and only thing that will actually save humanity itself. It's what's best for humanity. Holding onto and refusing to give up the thing that makes us human. That's what Armin talks about in the end with Eren, and why we see his despair at Eren's decision to destroy humanity while fully understanding it would solve nothing and only perpetuate the cycle of hate. If we lose sight of our humanity, of our compassion, no matter the cause, then ultimately there won't be any humanity left to fight for. Ultimately, that's what leads to humanity's destruction, also laid out in the final pages of AoT, when we see Paradis destroyed and the implication of the Titan curse starting all over.

Also, you don't seem to be able to differentiate between objective reality and the unreliable narration of certain characters. Just because Hange, Armin and Floch think Levi made the wrong choice doesn't mean he did. Each of their individual characters are suffering from their own, inherent biases and insecurities and faults which drive them to view Levi's choice as the wrong one. Understanding that, though, would require you to actually pay attention to each character and their personal arcs and traits and to understand what drives them. In reality, the choice Levi made was correct, which is exactly why Levi doesn't regret it, as he clearly states in the end.

Again, Mikasa was needed to break Ymir's curse because her love of Eren was intrinsically tied to and paralleled Ymir's love of King Fritz. Levi didn't love Erwin in the same way, he wasn't in love with him, and he wasn't blindly loyal to him or blind to his faults the way Mikasa was with Eren, or Ymir was with Fritz, and so it would have made zero thematic sense for Levi to the be the one to break Ymir's curse by forcing Erwin back into the role of Commander. Levi's relationship with Erwin has little to no resemblance to Mikasa's with Eren's, and so Levi sacrificing Erwin's humanity and well-being for an ideological cause wouldn't have had any impact on Ymir whatsoever. Ymir specifically looked into Mikasa's thoughts because she saw in Mikasa a kindred spirit, her obsessive love for Eren reminding Ymir of her obsessive love for Fritz. Mikasa was willing to sacrifice everything for Eren and wouldn't, up until the very end of the story, have ever sacrificed Eren for anything or anyone else. Levi, meanwhile, is shown clearly and without hesitation, being willing to sacrifice Erwin for the cause of humanity two, separate times leading up to his ultimate choice on that rooftop. Levi had no such issues letting Erwin die for humanity. Because Levi and his relationship with Erwin shared no such similarity with Ymir, and so whether he'd given Erwin the serum or not would have had no bearing on anything to do with the curse. But this is what comes of idiots believing eruri is canon, I guess. No "contrast" was required between Levi's choice and Mikasa's. Mikasa's selfishness is clear throughout the story, her obsession with Eren on full display from beginning to end, and that's contrast enough for the audience to understand the weight of her sacrifice in taking Eren's life. Beyond that, there is no contrast between Levi's choice and Mikasa's, but only a parallel, because both choices reflect one another. Both are equally selfless. Levi's sacrifice is foreshadowing for Mikasa's. It lays the groundwork for Mikasa learning to put others before herself. In being able to find her own compassion and empathy beyond her self-interest.

You seriously need to get over your inability to accept characters other than Mikasa as heroic, because you just make yourself look like a clown each time you open your mouth on this topic. If Mikasa was really as great and selfless and the one, true hero of AoT as you want to force everyone to accept she is, then you wouldn't need to shit on Levi to do it, or keep making your pathetic and obvious attempts to downplay his heroism and sacrifices in order to make Mikasa's own look good or better.

Mikasa was a hero in the end. Levi was a hero from beginning to end.