#they are a mystery of a time gone by here
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I'm a 30 year old transmasc non-binary person. I saw the movie Atlantis: The Lost Empire when I was 7 in the theater. My dad's dad had just died, and we weren't all that close. But, it really helped me to see Milo process the death of his own grandfather at the time. I think Atlantis came out about a year(?) after my dad's dad died? Anyway, I really always related to Milo even if I couldn't understand why at the time. (Now I get it.) I just watched the movie again because I wanted to, and my toddler watched bits and pieces with me while we shared some tea. They watched me *bawl.* My mom's dad, though we never got to talk about the fullness of my experience before he died a little less than two years ago, was the only family member who just understood me with no words. He never knew my name or pronouns - so he never used them. But, he got *me.* His yard was where I could climb trees, feed birds, roughhouse, and do all the "forbidden boyish" stuff. I watched Robin Hood and The Sorcerer's Stone in his living room. I built towers up to the ceiling. I got to read Frankenstein on his porch when I was in the seventh grade. I'm pretty sure my first unabridged copy of the Sherlock Holmes mysteries was purchased for me by him. He was basically my dad or second-dad. Later, he would listen to me talk about my papers, my poems, and my stories and, in turn, I'd listen to the latest of his research in biophysics, when he was still a researcher, or I'd listen to him explain, in layman's terms, the newest experiments he would read about after he stopped doing his own stuff. These were our lost civilizations and genuine arrowheads. When Mr. Whitmore handed Milo the Shepherd's Journal and said the line "Our lives are marked by the gifts we leave our children, and this is your grandfather's gift to you." My own kid was pillowed on my shoulder. I heard that line at 7. I cried in the theater because it's sad. You don't have to have lived the line for it be sad. I needed to learn loss young so I could feel loss better older. Because, now? That line collapsed on me like a ton of bricks, but I didn't get crushed by those bricks. I had a hard hat and padding to protect me. Like I said, my grandfather was like my dad. He's not coming back. But, he has given me so much. He has left me so much, and I get to decide what I want to leave to my own kid someday. I get to decide what world, what legacy, and what I leave for my own child. Because, it wasn't just the journal that Thaddeus left for Milo. It was the values that allowed Milo to remain steadfast when standing up to people physically stronger than him. I remember that right now. Especially right now. It's not just the intellectual gifts my grandfather left me. It's the tenacity. It's the love. It's protectiveness. It's the gentleness. It's the grace. It's the desire to be curious. It's the *need* to know. It's quiet faith. It's the desire to do justice. It's the desire to see peace for the next generation. It's the desire to listen to all sides of an argument before saying my own piece while also knowing when things have gone way too far and need to be shut down. It's knowing when and how to give people space to grow in their own way and time. Because, while everyone else in my family was forcing me into dresses, my grandfather was letting me climb trees in jeans and sneakers. He also didn't bat an eyelash when I cut my hair off my junior year of high school. So, he may not be here. But, he lives in the gifts he left me. So, while, I got my vaccine at 7, it didn't take effect until 28. Even then, I'm only just starting to feel like I'm actually inoculated at 30.
We can't be afraid to keep inoculating the youth. Kids need to see death, loss, and such like in their media. Withholding it from them just makes them less equipped for these exact moments when they're older. I firmly believe that.
Dear, sweet, Littlefoot, do you remember the way to the Great Valley? I guess so. But why do I have to know if you’re going to be with me? I’ll be with you. Even if you can’t see me. What do you mean I can’t see you? I can always see you.
The Land Before Time(1988) dir. Don Bluth
#death#loss#dealing with grief#grief#children's media#child development#pip does life#land before time#atlantis the lost empire
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Just Trust Me
WORD COUNT: 1,028
PAIRING: Simon 'Ghost' Riley x F!Reader
I've written the second part, but I want to break this into 3 parts. So the second will come out at night or tomorrow.
Part - 2
Maybe you shouldn’t have dated Simon.
Lord knows he isn’t the most stable man. Between the night terrors and the need for constant reassurance that you love him, he was the poster child for red flags. But red flags are easier to ignore when they’re wrapped in soft smiles and strong arms, aren’t they?
So, it comes as no surprise when you notice an app you don’t recognize on your phone.
It sits there innocently enough, nestled between your email and social media apps, but you’ve never seen it before. The icon—a blank, generic symbol—seems deliberately nondescript, almost as if it’s trying too hard not to stand out.
Your thumb hovers over the screen.
The moment you tap it, a prompt appears: Enter Password.
Your stomach twists.
Jesus Christ, Simon. What do you think I’m doing?
You don’t need to be a tech expert to figure it out: the app is meant to spy on you. What it’s monitoring—your location, your texts, your app history—is the only mystery.
Deleting it would be the logical move, but that’s not an option. Simon would notice. He notices everything. And you know he could win an Olympic gold medal in jumping to conclusions.
So, what to do?
You close the app and lock your phone, your heart pounding. Maybe you’re being paranoid. Maybe it’s just a weird app you forgot you downloaded. Or maybe Simon has taken his possessiveness to a new level.
You decide to get out of the house.
The local sandwich shop isn’t much—a fluorescent-lit counter, a couple of mismatched tables—but it’s familiar, and more importantly, it’s public. Simon hates crowded places; the noise and chaos set him on edge. This is one of the few spots you feel like you can breathe.
You’re halfway through your order when someone taps your shoulder.
“Hey, long time no see.”
You turn to find Kyle. His easy smile and warm eyes are a stark contrast to Simon’s calculated demeanor. Kyle was a friend from years ago—before Simon, before everything. You’d lost touch, but here he is, as if no time has passed.
“Kyle? Wow, it’s been ages,” you say, surprised at how natural it feels to smile back.
“You look great,” he says, shoving his hands into his jacket pockets. “How’ve you been?”
You chat for a few minutes, the kind of light, easy conversation you’ve forgotten you’re capable of having. It’s a rare moment of normalcy—until Kyle glances at his watch.
“I’d love to catch up more, but I’ve got to run. Let’s not make this the last time we bump into each other, okay?”
“Sure,” you say, though the odds of reconnecting feel slim.
Kyle gives you a quick hug, his hand lingering lightly on your back, then heads for the door.
You smile to yourself, picking up your tray, when it hits you—your phone and wallet are gone.
Your heart drops. Frantically, you pat your pockets, rummage through your bag, even check under the table. Nothing.
Panic tightens your chest. Did I drop them? Did someone take them?
A man wirh the most ridiculous haircut brushes past you on his way out. You lock onto him, suspicion flaring, but he’s already gone.
Kyle’s gone. The phone’s gone.
The app. You didn’t delete it. You couldn't. That stupid app, the one Simon uses to track you—how much did he see? Was he checking on you now? Was it only a matter of time before you realized it was gone too?
And now, with your phone gone, you have no way of knowing what Simon might already know. No way of tracking where your phone is. No way of knowing if Simon has access to everything you’ve done. You clench your fists.
You need to get it back.
You stand frozen for a moment in the middle of the sandwich shop, still processing the absence of your phone and wallet. You glance at the door, trying to make sense of what just happened. Kyle is long gone, slipping out into the busy street, leaving you standing there, uncertain of what to do next.
A feeling of panic gnaws at you, but you push it down, taking a deep breath to steady yourself. It’s just a phone. You’ll find it, or you’ll figure something else out.
But when you check your wallet again, your heart sinks. It’s the second thing gone.
Your fingers tremble as you gather your things, scanning the floor one more time, but it’s no use. Your things are gone, and there's no point in standing here any longer. The unease creeps back in. What now?
You step out of the sandwich shop, pulling your coat tighter around you. The cold air does little to calm your nerves.
You don’t bother checking your watch or asking around. The last thing you need is attention right now. Instead, you slip your hand into your bag, fingers brushing the empty spot where your phone should be. Panic rises again.
Just as you’re about to walk down the street, hoping to retrace your steps, the sound of a car engine pulls you from your thoughts.
Simon’s car rolls up beside you, the headlights cutting through the dusk. The car slows as he rolls down the window.
"You alright?" he asks, his voice steady, though there’s something about it that feels too calm, too neutral.
You glance at the car, his face hard to read in the dim light. How did he know to come get me?
"Yeah," you manage to say, forcing a smile. "Just... was gonna walk."
He doesn’t press, just gives a small nod, the car idling in front of you.
“Get in,” he says. His tone is casual, but you catch that sharpness in his voice, the one that makes you hesitate for a split second before getting in.
You slide into the passenger seat, the warmth of the car a stark contrast to the cold air outside. Simon doesn’t say anything else, and neither do you. The silence feels heavy as you pull away, but your mind keeps circling back to one question: How did he know?
#call of duty#call of duty mw2#cod#cod mw2#simon ghost riley#kyle gaz garrick#ghost#simon riley x reader#andromeda pleiades
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Caleb's alive?! What's going on Nika. Someone fill me in on the storyline 😔
Caleb is back after a year of being gone. He's also no longer just a Deepspace Pilot for the DAA he's a Farspace Colonel
MC infiltrates an island in the sky that's known as "Sky Haven" where the DAA is basically the government they run everything up there. MC went there posing as a scout/rookie to investigate an explosion that happened that seemed similar to what happened to her house.
She gets caught (of course) and the colonel (Caleb) takes her to be interrogated and pretty much covers for her during it to get her off the hook so he becomes his "Adjutant" which is like the colonel's right hand. This is so no one in lower ranks and other soldiers won't question her.
While she's in Sky Haven she goes to visit one of the victims who's in the hospital – Mia. Mia is I believe 7 years old and MC runs into Zayne while she's there because this man is in every hospital and medical facility known to man. Mia is a little messed up but she's in a stable condition when MC visits her.
Mia asks if they've found her brother Kevi and unfortunately he's still missing. Mia then gives MC a plushie that has a recording on it of Mia and her brother playing hide n seek and he's hiding in the "secret base". With this information MC goes back to the site where their house is and plays this recording and gets Kevi to come out. He was hiding in some kind of time rift because he has a piece of the "Spatium Aether Core" and the DAA wants to get their hands on this. Mia and Kevi's parents told them to not go with the Farspace soldiers because they can't be trusted so thats why Kevi stayed hidden.
Kevi is in need of medical help though because he's covered in black crystals that will eventually turn him into a monster. MC tells him to stay hidden and conspires with Zayne on how to get him back to Linkon to keep him safe. MC says she'll bring Kevi to him later that night so they can get him out of there. Caleb is a little cray cray though there's some bolts loose in that head.
He catches MC trying to sneak out and he's like "here's some pills to keep you from getting more sick" or something like that I already forgot what he said but he lied about what the pills actually were and since she trusts him (like a dumbass) she takes the pills and lays down to wait for him to leave so she can sneak out after he leaves. (She was caught in the rain the day before this is where we met viper who tried to kill MC and Caleb saved her and threatened Viper to never touch her again also apparently Viper is some kind of science experiment idrk wtf he's supposed to be he's annoying)
He drugged her with sleeping pills.
So she wakes up the next day and finds out the Farspace soldiers found Kevi and have the Spatium Core fragment now. Mia "suddenly" died and her funeral is swiftly taken care of. Kevi is given to "The professor" no we don't know who this man is he's a mysterious character.
MC notices something seems off with Kevi he's not that sad over his sisters death. MC brings these concerns to Caleb and he's basically like "He's a kid they get over stuff faster but i'm here for you MC im always here for you" and damn near shrugs it off like bro thats not regular wtf. Kevi is fixed up crystals removed and has some kind of chip put in his head which controls his mind now. (MC wasn't supposed to know about the chip, but she found out because she secretly visited Kevi and he like damn near started short circuiting)
The DAA is doing some sketchy stuff though. People who've lived in Sky Haven said the farspace soldiers were rarely ever on the ground this long before. It's a recent event that they've started deploying so may soldiers on the ground like this. They've been doing what's known as "Clean Ups" at night. They're killing and disposing of everyone who is turning into monsters. MC found this out because she snuck out (After Caleb locked her in her room lol) to see what they were doing and she injured her knee in the process.
This entire time Caleb is putting on this nice caring front to keep MC calm and safe. If he had it his way he'd lock her up in his home and put a bell on her ass so she can't escape. Caleb is what people thought Sylus would be. Full yandere and MC still trusts him because he's a childhood friend.
Edit: MC is willingly staying with Caleb because she wants to complete her mission and she missed him.
If I missed anything please comment guys im not going back to read through that whole story again that shit was long as hell lowkey.
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through it all, jun ho
prologue,
1621 words
summary
Rising K-pop star Ji-hyun's glittering career is overshadowed by the growing distance between her and her boyfriend, Jun-ho, a police officer consumed by his brother's mysterious disappearance. Unbeknownst to her, Jun-ho has gone undercover to infiltrate the deadly Squid Game, hiding the truth to protect her.
When Ji-hyun stumbles upon his secrets, she risks her fame and safety to help him, diving into a dark world of danger and deception. As their love is tested by secrets, fear, and the stakes of survival, they must decide if their bond is strong enough to face the shadows together-or if their worlds will tear them apart forever.
The stadium roared with energy, the cheers of thousands reverberating through the air like a storm crashing against the shore. Spotlights swept across the crowd, illuminating a sea of faces, each one crying out for her. Lee Ji-hyun stood in the center of it all, bathed in a dazzling glow that felt almost too bright.
She adjusted her earpiece and clasped the microphone tightly in her hand, her chest rising and falling as she caught her breath between songs. This was what she had worked for: years of sleepless nights, grueling rehearsals, and the relentless grind of being an idol. Yet, standing here, as her groupmates chattered excitedly during the break, she couldn't shake the gnawing emptiness in her chest.
The encore began. Ji-hyun moved automatically, her body flowing through the choreography like second nature, her voice clear and steady despite the ache in her throat. She smiled for the cameras, waved to the fans in the farthest rows, and sang like her heart was full. But in her mind, there was only one thought.
Where are you, Jun-ho?
The first time Ji-hyun met Hwang Jun-ho, it wasn’t love at first sight. In fact, she’d found him rude. She had spilled coffee on him in a crowded café near her trainee dorm, and instead of the expected awkward apology, he had simply raised an eyebrow and said, “Next time, maybe look where you’re going?”
She’d been mortified—and annoyed. But when she noticed the dark circles under his eyes and the exhaustion etched into his face, her irritation softened. “Sorry,” she’d mumbled, handing him a wad of napkins.
“It’s fine,” he’d said, brushing her off. But as she walked away, he called after her, “What’s with the uniform? Are you some kind of idol?”
It had been a teasing comment, one that annoyed her more than it should have. But it also stuck with her. Over time, their paths crossed again.
The second time was at the convenience store down the street from her dorm. Ji-hyun had been rushing, a hood pulled low over her face to avoid being recognized. She had reached for a drink just as another hand grabbed it, and she looked up to see Jun-ho smirking at her. “You again? Do you just bump into people for fun?” he asked.
“You’re in my way,” she had replied, yanking the drink from his grip. He laughed, a low sound that stayed with her even after she left the store.
The third time, it was raining. She had forgotten her umbrella, and as she stood outside the trainee building, debating whether to make a run for it, a familiar voice called out. “Need a ride?” Jun-ho was leaning against a car, his police badge hanging loosely from his neck. When she hesitated, he added, “I’m off-duty. Don’t worry, I’m not arresting you.”
She had reluctantly gotten into the car, and as he drove her home, they talked for the first time about more than just teasing remarks. She learned he had an older brother, though he didn’t say much about him, and that he’d been a cop for three years. In return, she told him about her dreams of debuting and how hard the trainee life was.
As the conversation flowed, Jun-ho found himself glancing at her, trying to ignore the nagging thought in the back of his mind. She was 26, six years younger than him. It wasn’t a massive gap, but something about it made him hesitate. She had this youthful energy, a brightness he couldn’t help but admire, but it also reminded him of how different their worlds were. She was chasing stardom, while he was knee-deep in crime reports and missing persons cases.
“You’re awfully quiet,” Ji-hyun said, breaking into his thoughts.
“Just thinking,” he replied, forcing a smile. “You’re really going all-in on this idol thing, huh?”
“It’s not a thing,” she said, feigning offense. “It’s my dream.”
“Fair enough,” he said, chuckling softly. But in his mind, he couldn’t help but think about how different their dreams were—and whether those differences would matter in the long run.
Before she got out of the car, he handed her an umbrella. “Keep it. You’ll probably forget again.”
Their next meeting wasn’t random. Ji-hyun had returned to the café where they first met, half-hoping to see him again. He showed up an hour later, looking surprised to find her there. “Don’t you have better things to do?” he had asked, but he sat down anyway. Over coffee, their conversation flowed easily, and for the first time in months, Ji-hyun felt like someone understood her.
Before she knew it, he was her confidant, her safe space. Their casual conversations over coffee turned into longer, more personal ones. He started to remember the little things about her: the way she liked her coffee with just a splash of cream, the nervous way she tapped her fingers when she was thinking, and the songs she hummed under her breath when she thought no one was listening.
One afternoon, after Ji-hyun had finished a vocal practice that left her completely drained, Jun-ho had texted her out of the blue: "You look like you could use a coffee. Don’t deny it, I saw you struggling through the window." When she glanced outside, there he was, leaning casually against a lamppost with two cups in hand. She couldn’t help but laugh as she rushed out to meet him.
They spent the rest of the afternoon walking along the nearby park trail, talking about everything and nothing. She learned that Jun-ho had always been the responsible one in his family, often stepping in for his parents when they worked long hours. He’d joined the police force because he wanted to make a difference, though he admitted it wasn’t always as rewarding as he’d hoped.
“It’s frustrating,” he’d said, tossing a pebble into the pond they passed. “You think you’ll fix the world, but sometimes it feels like the world’s just a little too broken.”
“You’re doing more than most people,” Ji-hyun had replied. “And that’s enough.”
Moments like that became more frequent. Jun-ho would surprise her with small gestures: showing up at her company’s doorstep when she had a late practice, waiting to walk her home; slipping notes of encouragement into the bag she’d forgotten at his place. Slowly, Ji-hyun realized she was falling for him. And when she finally confessed it one quiet evening, sitting together on the rooftop of his building, his answer was simple and warm.
“I’ve been falling for you for a while now,” he’d said, brushing a stray hair from her face. “I just didn’t know if I should say it first.”
From that point, their bond deepened. Jun-ho was there for her debut, cheering her on from the shadows. By the time she debuted with Starlight, he was the one who brought flowers to her first music show performance, standing awkwardly in the back of the crowd.
“I don’t get it,” he had joked after the show. “All these people screaming for you. Don’t they know you’re terrible at coffee pouring?”
“Don’t ruin my moment,” she’d said, laughing.
It was easy with Jun-ho. They would tease each other, sharing playful banter that felt like second nature. But that ease didn’t mean their relationship was perfect. Slowly, life’s complications began creeping in, and the simplicity of their early connection started to feel like a distant memory. Until it wasn’t.
The crowd screamed as Starlight finished their final song, and Ji-hyun felt the rush of adrenaline as she waved to the fans, her lips forming a perfect smile. But as soon as the lights dimmed and the stage emptied, the weight returned.
Back in the dressing room, her groupmates were buzzing with excitement, scrolling through social media to see the night’s trending posts. Ji-hyun joined in half-heartedly, letting their chatter wash over her as she pulled off her boots and wiped the makeup from her face.
“Unnie,” one of the younger members, Min-ji, said, nudging her. “You okay? You’ve been kind of… quiet today.”
“I’m fine,” Ji-hyun lied, flashing her a quick smile. “Just tired.”
It wasn’t entirely untrue. But it wasn’t the whole truth, either.
Her phone buzzed in her bag, and she felt a flicker of hope. Pulling it out, her heart sank when she saw the notification.
Manager-nim: Schedule updated. Tomorrow, 9 a.m. rehearsal. Don’t be late.
No messages from Jun-ho. Again.
Ji-hyun’s apartment was dark and quiet when she got home, the kind of silence that felt oppressive after hours of deafening cheers and flashing lights. She dropped her bag on the floor and collapsed onto the couch, staring at the ceiling.
She hadn’t seen Jun-ho in weeks. He hadn’t been answering her calls, and the rare times he picked up, his voice was distant, distracted. She understood his job was demanding—being a police officer wasn’t easy—but something had shifted recently. He wasn’t just busy; he was gone.
She had tried to ignore the sinking feeling in her chest, the one that whispered that something was wrong. But the more she thought about it, the harder it became to push away.
Her gaze drifted to the framed photo on the bookshelf. It was of her and Jun-ho, taken on one of their rare days off together. They were at the Han River, both of them laughing, the sunlight catching in Jun-ho’s dark eyes.
She missed him.
Her phone buzzed again, and she grabbed it quickly, hoping against hope that it was him. It wasn’t.
It was her manager, sending a final reminder for tomorrow’s schedule. Another long day ahead, filled with rehearsals, interviews, and endless smiling for the cameras.
Ji-hyun sighed, setting the phone back down. She closed her eyes, willing herself to sleep, but her mind wouldn’t stop racing. Questions about Jun-ho swirled in her head, unanswered and relentless.
Where are you, Jun-ho? she thought again, the ache in her chest growing. And why do I feel like you’re slipping away?
#squid game#squid game 2#squid game fanfic#squid game wattpad#hwang jun ho#jun ho x reader#junho#hwang junho#jun ho squid game
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Ohhh I can get on this train.
So I know a lot of people say Alice got stuck in Wonderland where she then had Alistair, but in Kitty's diary she seems at least old enough when leaving Wonderland to realise what's going on, so I like to think that Bunny and Alistair knew each other pre-curse and/or Alistair was actually about to start his story when the curse happened (so his mom wouldn't have been there or she would have come back after the story already played out - you could also argue that the Jabberwocky exists so the idea of her returning in Through the Looking Glass would as well, which might have opened opportunities to come visit, but timelines with Wonderland always get tricky in this show). That being said...
With them spending all the time in Wonderland because of the curse, I like to imagine that's what finally gets Bunny to start opening up. The curse doesn't seem like it's ever going to end, and life may be a living nightmare in many ways, but Alistair's not leaving anymore! She starts to open up, little by little, letting all his declarations of love finally get to her, and starts to think that she might be okay with them going somewhere.
That is, until they find the Storybook of Legends. Because now, this discovery means the portal is open again, and the future where she loses him comes rushing back. And Bunny and Alistair are nothing if not good people, so they won't let this discovery remain a mystery forever. Of course they'll bring it back.
This would be a really good explanation for why they keep denying that they're dating once they get to Ever After. Alistair knows why Bunny doesn't want them to become official, and he won't push her on this because he doesn't want to hurt her, but pretending that they're nothing is hurting them both, and nobody really gets why they're so upset. After all, the book has been gone and they can choose whether to follow their destinies, so why would these two be so upset?
Here's where things get really fun. Alistair is pretty vocal in the series about liking adventure and wanting to follow his destiny, and Bunny has been seen to be pretty fond of her destiny as well. Kitty and Maddie may not care about destiny, and would be fine with the two running off and forsaking their stories, but there's also the question of Lizzie. Lizzie, who misses home so badly she spends all her time in the Wonderland grove just to get the briefest reminder of home. Lizzie, who's dreamed of being the Queen of Hearts her whole life. So we get a fun little dilemma for Alistair and Bunny. They could go against their destinies to be together, which would mean neither fulfilling the role they've dreamed about their whole lives and potentially robbing one of their best friends of her only chance to go home and live the life she's been dreaming of since childhood as well, or they could go through with their destinies and fulfill their roles, but ultimately lose each other.
And while, sure, running away together might seem more logical, this is Alistair and Bunny we're talking about. These two practically advertise their need to people please. It would kill them to cause the kind of upset that going against their destinies would result in.
So was there really any choice for them at all?
bunnistair's been said by some to be kinda bland, a little too predictable, too boring. and while i kinda agree, i think the best way to make a ship more interesting is to give it a bit more angst. consider this: in the original story, alice always leaves wonderland. she wakes up from her dream, unsure if wonderland, with all its nonsense, was ever real or if it was just a figment of her imagination. in the eah world, of course it's real, but alice still has to leave. though she did fall in love with wonderland's wonder and magic and charm and riddles, she still had to climb back up that rabbit hole. because she had her family to go back to, her life to return to.
with this, alistair knows that he has to leave wonderland one day too. so he approaches his crush with bunny with so much gusto. he wants to spend all his time with her and confess his love before he has to leave. he wants to dive in 100%. but bunny approaches her own crush the total opposite way. she's hesitant to confront her love for allister because she knows how the story ends. alistair would have to leave and she doesn't know if she can deal with the heartbreak of him being gone from her life. she's convinces herself to never love at all instead of experiencing a love so great and wonderful and then losing it.
#well this was a fun little writing experiment that totally didn't awaken any feelings in me about these two#i have a lot of thoughts abt wonderland and the wonderland kids that i haven't really made public here but anyway loved this post a lot#ever after high#eah#bunny blanc#alistair wonderland#bunnistair#uhhh hope u don't mind the rant in the reblogs op TT
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Sacred Animal
Summary: Hermes takes you on a "mystery date" that becomes very cute and silly, very quickly.
A/N: I'm doing it, I'm being brave and posting one of the drabbles I wrote like over a month ago but felt kinda shy about. Biggest, most fluffy Thank-You to @lickoutyourbrains for reading and rereading and encouraging me through everything. If you guys enjoy this one I'll consider posting the others. Please let me know what you think, and as always let me know if I missed any tags!
Read on Ao3 here!
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Hermes' domains were a wide net that covered a lot. Travelers, Messages, Thieves, Trickery and Cunning, Athletes, Merchants, Speed, Language; the list went on for a while. And in keeping with the diversity of his domains, his moods and interests tended to whirl and swing around with the days.
It made for some chaotic date nights.
But really, you enjoyed the chaos; the thrill of his surprises, not really being able to guess but being able to follow where his mind was going. You could keep up with him, and he loved you for that. Therefore, date nights like tonight were surprising, but not completely out of left field.
You were bundled up in a thick coat with ear muffs on your head; it wasn't snowing yet, but it was cold enough that the snow predicted for the following days would stick, and probably make a thick blanket on the ground.
You faintly wondered if Hermes had ever made snow angels…
“Ready?” he asked at the front door of your apartment building; he was wearing a wide-brimmed hat instead of his usual helmet, and it cast a shadow over his eyes in lieu of his sunglasses. He also had a warm-looking red cloak, apparently lined with fur or some other fluff over a thin shirt that you couldn't quite see. He probably didn't need the cloak, he never seemed to feel cold, but it was important to keep up appearances when visiting public places.
So you were going somewhere that would have other people.
You huffed, checking the strap of the bag you carried to make sure it was close to your chest - he could still easily steal your wallet and phone, but it was a little harder when he couldn't just reach into your pockets. One of these days, you might just cave and buy the weird chest-strap bag that kept all your valuables up high and theoretically safe from nefarious hands. See if he could break into that…
Belongings secure, coat and muffs adjusted, you nodded and his face lit with a grin as he effortlessly lifted you into his arms. You could barely see the glow of his eyes under the shadow of the hat - the longer you dated Hermes, the more you learned to look closer for the little things. Right now, he was excited; more childlike joy than gleeful mischief, which was even more exciting for you. As much as you enjoyed his pranks and silliness, it was rare that he had this much anticipation for something.
He was usually all soft smiles and warmth, but this was bright like a star.
You tucked your face into Hermes' chest, knowing he was going to fly directly to wherever he was taking you. There would be no sight-seeing on this trip; another mystery to confuse you about potential locations. He pressed a gentle kiss into your hair before taking off, the wind quickly whipping around the pair of you as he sped towards your destination.
It was still bright out - the sun wouldn't set for another hour or two, and the light and wind surrounded you for a few moments before you felt Hermes slow and finally land. At least this time he hadn't gone high enough to make your ears pop.
You waited for his arms to loosen, looking up at him after a few moments.
“Put me down?” You asked, teasingly. He shrugged.
“Nah. It's pretty cold, it's nice to have a personal heater.” He replied. He only laughed when you lightly slapped his chest with the back of your hand, and finally released you.
“How does your hat not fly off?” You asked, noticing the tips of his hair under the brim were ruffled, but the hat itself remained secure. He shrugged again.
“God magic?” he theorized, jokingly. That was his answer to a lot of questions about his anomalies, and you knew better than to press. You rolled your eyes and huffed, crossing your arms.
“Ok, fine,” you gestured for him to lead, “where exactly are we?” He took your hand and began to walk across a rather large expanse of grass, passing a little gravel parking lot full of cars, and you could see some farm buildings in the distance.
“We’re gonna meet some friends!” the wide smile returned, as if his statement wouldn't raise more questions, but you just chuckled and followed. You were definitely on some kind of farm-store property; a place that probably did apple picking or a pumpkin patch in the fall. Right now, though, all of the trees were bare, the grassy field yellowish from winter frost, and the rows of dirt in the distance empty as the plants that grew there waited for spring.
The pair of you walked up to a little gate, where an older man was sitting with a little cash box. The man smiled as you approached.
“Well, how can I help you two?” he asked, a bit of a ‘country lilt’ to his words. You expected Hermes to wave a hand and work his ‘god magic’ on the man so he allowed you to pass, but instead your godly boyfriend handed over a real, American ten-dollar bill and responded “Two please.”
You tried not to look at Hermes in shock and confusion; he ‘paid’ for a lot of your dates, but not usually with actual money. You faintly wondered if he was starting to understand the difference between stealing from corporations and small businesses; a subject of many debates and discussions throughout your time together. You were impressed.
The man took the bill and traded it into his cash box for two bright green silicone bracelets, and began to fish out some change before Hermes held up a hand and told the man to keep the change.
The god handed you a bracelet and led you around the gate as the man wished you both to have fun. After it appeared Hermes was not going to say anything about it, you tugged on his hand, causing him to stop.
“Who are you and where is my boyfriend?” You asked, only half-jokingly. Maybe even less than half.
He bounced on the balls of his feet; damn he was really excited. “I learn things when we talk! I'm supporting some local farmers!” He defended with a grin. “I’m not only a Patron of thieves, you know.”
With that response apparently being all he planned to say, he began to walk again, taking your hand, and by extension, you, with him. The pair of you were walking around the main building which you were now certain was some kind of store, and as you turned the corner you could hear the excited jabbering of children.
What the heck.
‘Meeting friends,’ he said. You were on a farm. There were little kids. You looked at the bracelet now on your wrist which read ‘Friendly Fields Local Craftworks and Petting Zoo’ in thin yellow letters.
Well, this was certainly the most unique date he'd ever taken you on.
In the rapidly diminishing distance, you saw a series of low fences housing several animals, and about a dozen children with parents in varying stages of exasperation. Most of the little ones were crowded around a hutch of extremely fluffy rabbits, but there was also a pen with mini ponies, one with two alpacas, one with a cow, one filled with chickens, and one with a small handful of sheep. You were pleased to notice that all of the pens had little heaters for the animals, and were sheltered in case it rained.
You had to admit, this was kinda cute.
Hermes continued to lead, heading straight for the sheep who ‘baah’d at him as you both came near. This one was the farthest off, and it seemed none of the children were very interested in visiting the sheep.
“Hello, lovely ladies,” Hermes said as he leaned down and began to scratch one under its chin. You were a bit surprised; normally petting zoo animals were pretty apathetic towards their visitors, unless there was food involved. But all four of the wooly sheep had wandered over and were waiting for Hermes' attention.
“So you're the god of sheep.” You said, a wry smile on your face as you watched him pet one animal with each hand.
“Ha! You're close,” he replied, “I’m the god of shepherds. But sheep are one of my animals.” He paused, realizing you hadn't joined in, and stood back up to look at you. “Is this ok? You like petting things…” he asked, and now his face was hesitant.
You did like petting things. You constantly tried to pet the stray cats around your apartment complex, and the second someone offered for you to pet their dog you were all over those good boys and girls. You had even been to petting zoos before! Sheep were one of your favorite animals (although now you were absolutely not going to tell Hermes that). You felt your cheeks get hot, and it wasn't from wind burn.
“Well, you looked like you were pretty excited to see them, and I didn't want to get in your way…” you said lamely. In truth, you just thought watching Hermes talk to a small herd of sheep was adorable, and had forgotten you were also supposed to be interacting with the animals.
Hermes smirked, and pulled you a little closer, holding out a hand to the sheep closest to him, “here, just let her sniff you first. They'll probably feel a lot safer than normally because I'm here.”
You followed his lead, surprised when the sheep forewent sniffing your hand and plopped her little chin in your palm. You could almost believe she was smiling at you. A surprised giggle bubbled out of you; no animal had ever done that.
Seeing that there were now enough hands for all four to get pets at the same time, the whole little herd came up to the fence to vie for attention. It was strange and a little wonderful; their wool was thick and dense and incredibly warm, once you pushed your fingertips into the fleece. Hermes was saying something to the two in front of him, but you were only barely aware of that as you watched the little sheeps’ tiny, nubby tails wagging and twitching.
He was probably giving them a blessing, the big softie; to be warm and live long and always have the tastiest grass.
You had no idea how long the two of you had stood there, spoiling the little sheep with your scritches; thankfully the sun hadn't set yet, but it was a little darker. Hermes led you around to the other pens, now significantly quieter as several of the families and children left for the evening. There were still a good number of people around, but not so rowdy. One of the alpacas was interested in the pair of you, though not nearly as much as the sheep. The horses looked at you like you were some kind of aliens; as if you were the ones in the pens for their entertainment. Hermes avoided the cow, saying she was giving him a dirty look.
You knew he had a history with cows but you didn't think it went that deep…
The chickens were also quick to look for Hermes' attention, running over to the fence posts to investigate. They formed a wide clump of feathers, and would have been centered around him if there hadn't been a barrier in the way. As it were, several chickens were reaching their heads through the fencing, clucking and (apparently) trying to peck at the god. You giggled. Hermes looked around a moment, that mischievous smile on his face, and you saw him pull his hat down in the back just far enough to free the wings behind his ears, which flapped a few times at the chickens in return.
The chickens went wild, some of them darting away, some of them flapping their wings back, some almost screeching; to the point that one of the farmhands came over to make sure they weren't fighting, and Hermes had to quickly slip his hat back in place.
You'd never pet a chicken before; and the farm hand was kind enough to let you and Hermes each hold one. They were warm, surprisingly heavy, and you were taken aback when you realized the bird was purring. Not as deep and consistent as a cat’s purr, but still noticeable; the vibrations just barely palpable in your hands. Hermes' face was practically glowing in the low light, looking at you holding the chicken. After a little more cuddling of the soft feathers, and watching Hermes (probably) whispering a blessing to the other birds as well, the farmhand helped you place the chicken back in her coop, and Hermes led you to the last pen; the bunnies.
Angora rabbits, to be specific, with their carefully brushed fur and softly padded pen. A visitor could see clearly that these were the prized animals for the farm. And they certainly were cute; well-socialized and hopping over to see the newcomers, hoping for treats, clearly relaxed while being handled by the humans.
You opted not to hold a rabbit, but you did get to pet a few of them as they wandered from person to person - their fur was as silky-soft as you imagined; always hearing about angora wool being special and extra soft (and probably extra expensive) but never going out of your way to find clothes made with it.
The sun was finally setting in earnest, and the farmhands were beginning to pack up the petting area and move the animals back into their warm barns and hutches; the little country store was still open though, and it only took a little bit of begging to convince Hermes to go inside and look around.
He’d already been planning on going in, but you were cute when you made your sad-eyes and exaggerated pout.
Inside, the shop was warm and smelled like fresh cinnamon and vanilla. There were a few people milling around, looking at the different products - lots of fresh baked goods, homemade preserves, craft items, and even a cubby of milled goat milk soap. There was also a large sign on the counter that read “Chelly is OUT” in large red letters, and you assumed the tile that read OUT could be flipped to say something like IN as well.
You wondered if you'd get a peek at Chelly. You did love shops that had kitties wandering around.
Hermes unpinned his cloak so it hung at his shoulders instead of clipped at his throat, and you loosened your coat as well; the shop was nice and warm, and you were getting a little too warm under so many layers.
Hermes was definitely just showing off his shirt - a meme shirt, because of course he'd been collecting those recently...
You took your time looking at different things, eventually Hermes handed you a little shopping basket with a knowing grin, and you blushed again as you carefully placed a bottle of lavender oil for baking and a pack of flaky, delicious looking chocolate pastries into the basket. You were a bit surprised when Hermes actually added some things to the basket - namely two little crochet sheep that had a tag reading [80% angora, 20% wool] and a crochet chicken that apparently had a squeaker in its body.
Oh gods. That was going to drive his siblings insane.
And then suddenly, Hermes yelped and jumped, floating just a second too long before landing and looking down at the floor.
Looking at a little tortoise riding around on a skateboard-like contraption.
The yelp had attracted the attention of the woman running the counter, but Hermes was unbothered; consumed with the sheer delight upon seeing the little reptile appear from under the shelves.
“Oh, I'm so sorry!” the woman said frantically, “she's perfectly healthy, I promise, she just gets a little feisty when it's close to closing time, because she knows once the customers leave she gets a strawberry. She didn't bite you, did she?”
Meanwhile, Hermes had become a metaphorical kid in a candy store, sitting down right on the floor and cooing at the tortoise. He waved the woman off, saying, “She's so cute! So fast!” And then addressing the turtle, a mess of babbling that included “Look at your little wheels!”
You'd seen many moods from your godly boyfriend. You'd seen him happy, frustrated, confused, annoyed (usually by your car and your coworkers). You'd seen him drunk and giggly, when he had twirled you around until you both threw up. You'd seen him cry, though rarely; he rarely felt safe to do so. You'd even seen him divinely angry once when a nymph at one of Dio's parties asked why a mortal like you were allowed to attend.
You had not seen him like this. This was newborn-baby-cute-aggression levels of babbling. He gently scratched around the tortoise’s shell, watching the reptile wiggle when he apparently hit a good spot. (It was admittedly adorable.) You were pretty sure you could see his wings ruffling under his hat.
Thankfully, the woman was pleased with Hermes' excitement. “Oh, yes. Poor Chelly was hatched without her back legs working. My son made the little wheel board for her. She has one that only has wheels on the back, but she seems to prefer the ability to race around.”
Ah. Chelly was the tortoise.
“It's brilliant!” Hermes' replied, and then after a moment of hesitation, he surprised you again. “Can I pick her up?” He asked, almost bashful.
The woman only laughed. “Sure, if she'll let you! Just be careful, she likes to give love bites.” She patted the reptile’s shell gently and asked if you needed any help before returning to the counter to attend another customer.
Your boyfriend was still sitting on the floor.
Not knowing what else to do, you joined him on the floor.
He gently wiggled his fingers in front of Chelly, and when she didn't reach out and bite, he carefully scooped her off of her skateboard and held her right up to his face.
“Helloooo, Darling! You like to go fast, huh? Go Zoomies? You're such a pretty girl!” He was almost blushing, and for the second time you wondered what clone had spontaneously replaced the man you were dating. Meanwhile, the tortoise was content to extend her neck and brush his nose with her face. Her front legs wiggled as if she was still walking or possibly swimming, and he continued to talk to her.
The longer you sat there, the more you wondered if they could understand each other.
With a sigh, you gave Hermes a kiss on his cheek, told him you were going to look some more, and left to explore the other shelves. (You may or may not have snapped several dozen photos of him cooing at Chelly in the meantime.)
He sat there with the tortoise a full ten minutes; meanwhile you found your own mischievous gift. You had paid quietly and hidden the item at the bottom of your purse, under the ‘valuables’ and wrapped in a brown paper bag. That was for later.
When he finally rejoined you, you playfully bumped him with your elbow as he took some offered hand sanitizer from the counter to clean his hands. He paid for the rest of the items in your basket, once again with real money, and you knew better than to question it at this point. The pair of you rebuttoned your extra layers and prepared to go out into the night.
“So, are you replacing me?” you asked. He smiled, nuzzling your cheek with a little huff.
“Nobody could replace you.” He replied softly, and your face suddenly felt a little warmer. He easily picked you up once more, having put your purchases into his trusty messenger bag, and with little warning he took off.
This time, he did fly a little higher, just so you could see the stars on the way home. The cold wind bit your nose and you would probably have chapped cheeks in the morning, but it was worth it.
He landed easily outside your apartment building, fishing the brown paper bag out of his pack. He would have to be back on Olympus tomorrow morning, and was leaving tonight to have time to leave a trap for Apollo. You barely had a moment before he pulled you into a kiss, then twirling you around and dipping you backwards, throwing off your balance. At least he kept you from falling, even if it was an almost cartoonish dip. He was probably floating to have you so far back.
“So,” he panted lightly, his breath making little bursts of fog in the night air, “did you have fun?” You laughed, patting his shoulders as a request to stand back up. His face was positively glowing as he helped you right yourself.
Yes, he had been floating, damn god powers…
You laughed anyway; “Yes. More fun than I have in a while.” You said, and it was the truth. Hermes' silly side was your favorite thing about him, and you had gotten to see so much of it tonight. His smile was brilliant once more, and under the shadow of his hat you saw his eyes start to glow silvery.
“I love you.” he said, and kissed you again. “I'll be back in two days. I'll pick you up from work.”
“Okay. Don't be too mean to Apollo, okay?” You teased. He rolled his eyes, and began to break away, before you grabbed the strap of his messenger bag and stuffed your own small gift inside, feeling it disappear into the organized clutter of the bottomless bag. He quirked an eyebrow in question.
“Don't open it until you get back to Olympus. Promise?” You asked, and held up your pinky finger.
He snorted. “Sure. Promise.” He linked his pinky with yours, and you shook. Truly a sacred oath. One last stolen kiss, and then he was gone, zipping away into the night sky. You hugged the bag from the store to your chest, and went inside to your (thankfully warm) apartment.
The treats went into the kitchen, to be enjoyed for breakfast tomorrow. You were already scrolling your phone for that lavender shortbread cookie recipe you'd seen a week ago and thinking you would have to go to the store tomorrow after work anyway. The little sheep plushies (you now noticed one was a ram and one was an ewe. Dork.) went onto your shelf of ‘Hermes Trinkets’ for now, though you knew you would probably move them to your bed for cuddling soon. Damn those things were soft. There was also a pair of thick purple socks that you hadn't seen him grab, equally soft, and you already planned to change into them with your pajamas.
Not even an hour later, as you were settling in for bed, you received a text message with a photo attached.
Hermes, his hair wild and hat off, with a gigantic grin on his face. Proudly wearing the crochet headband with a carefully curled pair of stuffed ram horns. Captioned: ‘Better than my laurels.’
You suddenly really hoped he wouldn't wear that to council meetings. You'd created a monster.
(If you enjoyed, please reblog!)
#warcats writes#epic hermes#epic the musical#reader insert#hermes x reader#gender neutral reader#fluff#petting zoo#sheep#turtles#chickens#sillies#ask to tag
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hi pals, ily pals, it's been a minute pals! 🖤
first, i want to share these pieces of gorgeous gallavich art from some absolute beloveds -- a perfect, snowy, stressed in gay!mickey in a santa hat by @crossmydna & two absolute masterpieces of the boys from my a.u.gust 2023 red string of fate/soulmate drabble by @sgtmickeyslaughter -- these pieces really brought me a lot of light in a really dark time! thank you both, i love you both!
then, i also want to share a little more as to why i've been quiet & absent lately. this space has been such a beautiful place of loving support for me over the years & i really cherish all of the friendships & connections i've made here 🫂
tw: medical updates
i've been having quite mysterious, yet life-altering and debilitating health issues since august 2023 & i've struggled to find doctors to stay interested long enough to solve the puzzle, so they've largely gone un-diagnosed.
late last year, i got injured & ended up being hospitalized for over a month–through all of the holidays & the new year 😭 it was absolutely the hardest time of my life & even though i'm home now, i'm still really injured & probably pretty sick. we still haven't been able to get a firm diagnosis & while i want to stay hopeful that it being hard to find or pin down means it's nothing major, but what's on the table is very serious 😭😭
i want to find a groove here again, or at the very least find meaningful ways to stay connected to the fandom. but please forgive me if i jump into the present moment & am not able to catch up on all of your masterpieces. if you feel really strongly that i need to read or see something, please DM me or pop them links in my asks! or you can also just say hello! i've missed you!!
okay, see you round the dash! please continue screaming about dock sluts or s1 baby boyfs or whatever's striking your fancy these days!
LOVE YOU LOVE YOU
#cross - i'm so sorry i didn't get to switch up my pfp in december. this mickey is perfect. you are perfect.#gigi my sweet - you are a true artist! these boy dolls are getting framed i hope you know. ily ily thank you for sharing your gifts <333#everyone else - you're doing amazing sweetie#filing this one under: bizarre life updates#about bee
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Recently extinct species make me sad for all the usual and normal reasons (loss of life, biodiversity and unique life forms that experienced the world wholly uniquely and acted in it like no other, to name three), but a big thing that also makes me so sad is the forgetting that comes right after. Many endangered species are greatly ignored to begin with whilst alive of course, which is awful, but the way that extinction also causes us to forget. A species could’ve been so abundant a hundred years ago, people would’ve used a fish species or a tasty plant for food, or parents would’ve warned their children to not put a poisonous toadstool or insect in their mouth, a diver would exclaim, “Aha!” after emerging from the shallows holding an especially big bivalve, or someone making a species diary would sketch out a local bird or fasten a single flower to the page. But.. then the species goes extinct. It doesn’t exist anymore. None of these events, these actions happen anymore. Not with these species. The people who had these experiences dwindle out and they may not even realise that their experiences were among the last of their kind. And we forget.
#i was thinking about the new zealand greyling which was once abundant#the maori people used to fish it and use it for food#for generations upon generations this fish species was their normal#but now it is just gone#could they have guessed that this will happen? that their everyday food item would go extinct one day#i was also thinking about the atlantic sturgeon and how it went regionally extinct in the baltic#the old northern europe people knew sturgeons. heck we had them less than a hundred years ago still#it was a native fish just like any other. just like salmon and trout#now? no one talks about them#they are forgotten#we dont learn about them alongside the perch and the pike and the roach and the trout#they are a mystery of a time gone by here#and it makes me so sad… how quickly we forget. we shouldnt
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I already know I'm gonna be obsessed with falin's subversive version of haunting the narrative. as soon as I figure out what she has going on, I'm gonna be insane about it.
#because at least in the beginning she is the classic laura palmer haunting the narrative- the story is about her#the inciting action is in response to her death (almost. her eatening) and it sends the rest of the story on its way#marcille makes constant references to her and her influence and what she would think about things#but then also they find her and she is dead so they have to mourn for a minute and we get visceral closure with#the fact that they were hoping to find her alive the whole time and that's crushed now#and THEN she gets revived and comes back wrong#she is here but it's not right and there's a mystery#and now she's gone again- not in the narrative anymore- but it's still all about her#they have to find her they got her back but she's gone again.#it's so....#i dont know youre deal yet but falin im gonna be insane about you i can tell#dungeon meshi#jennie reads dungeon meshi#dm spoilers
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got visually spoiled on the literally last thing i was still actively missing and working towards in totk but i dont think im gonna like it anyway ...
if it is what i think it is, and what it looks like to be, its just yet another nail in the coffin (or however you say that) as to why the lore sucks in this game even tho it had such good setup and so much potential
#ganondoodles talks#totk spoilers#tagging it as such bc im gonna say my current thoguhts about it here#again its just visually and i havent seen the text to it yet#so please dont say anythign about it#but#im 100% certain its the reward for all shrines which i dont have yet#and first of all it looks dumb as shit#and second of all its supposed to be the ancient hero in the tapestry isnt it#the zonau got their grimy hands on that too dont they#the thing that was such a cool mystery all this time got solved just like that isnt it#nintendo saw us theorizing about gan being the ancient hero and thought oh gods now we cant give him nuance quickly invent some zonau excus#however that makes sense since they were supposedly long gone by the time the first calamity happened#which still happened even with the time fuckery going on since the tapestry still exists and the last guardian remains#tho it doesnt look quite like a zonau but more like some creepy ass unholy mix of a lizard and gerudo#im gonna wait with my final judgement since i havent read the text yet#but it for sure isnt motivating me more to get all the last 50 or so shrines#i regret finishing the underground first so much man#all you get is a you did it sticker#literally#should have done the shrines first so at least i couldnt get spoiled on that still#im guessing its funney reference or whatever#some mysteries are better left unsolved#didnt want to rush and get all shrines in a hurry and isntead explore it on my own since the exploring part and world is what i love#aside from the music#but i guess i gotta do that now#actual shrine hutning stream incoming i guess#:/
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Spoilers for Alan Wake/Control games and DLCs: one of the things I really like in Alan Wake 2 is the confirmation that, no, Alan can’t create something out of nothing. There were implications in-story that supported that, but it was good to have that be a big part in the sequel. The AWE control dlc easily made it seem like Alan himself had a role in the events of the game and the formation of the FBC, and, personally, seeing it through that lens cheapened a lot of the game and Jesse’s story. Instead, having his writing influence the Hiss and try to manipulate (even out of desperation) Jesse/the FBC to end Hartman and get help, fit right into plot and conflicts of Alan Wake 2, with Alan being sympathetic, but also an asshole for trying to change and control people’s lives in his writing.
#since the awe dlc dropped I was slightly worried that it was going the meta route of Alan writing everything in control#but since Alan wake 2 I’ve been. thank god that wasn’t the case 😭#this way makes everything more complicated and mysterious. which I appreciate. makes everything creepier#will say. it’s still wild how much Alan can influence the narrative.#light spoilers for the final draft but—> makes me think of the writers room video where he doesn’t know what he’ll be at the spirals end#like I don’t think he’ll be Evil or anything. but it’s unnerving#might delete#Alan Wake 2 my beloved#so many times in that game it could’ve gone a direction that would’ve lessened or soured the story but somehow it didn’t lmao#more game spoilers but for ex: Alice coming back at the end instead of leaving it with her demise in the documentary#when I first saw that it was devastating. but also wasn’t sure what to feel if that’s how she’s gone from the story#having her actually manipulate her photos. become art to make Alan think she died. go to the dark place and help him and saga#that last video left me Speechless it was so good.#esp after how much I disliked Control (spoilers here) for quickly ending with Dylan in a coma and not much else.#could not be happier with how the AW2 ending played out and the clear love for all its characters#REALLY hope that Control 2 ends in a good or interesting place. give dylan some focus!#not tagging this bc I’m just yelling my thoughts. but knowing tumblr it will somehow be seen on every tag 😵💫
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Completely random question that has nothing to do with anything I'm working on but let's say someone goes through some unimaginable, completely terrible unstoppable pain
And the only way they see in the moment they can get relief from it is stabbing themselves in the chest with a rock, would that make sense or is that just something a edgy and cringey 10 year old Shadow the Hedgehog fan would come up with (no offense to 10 year old Shadow the Hedgehog fans)
#being this vague may not help my case but whatever *I* control how much i embarrass myself on my blog#anyway i need some brutal honestly here. pretend I'm your annoying most hated sibling or something if need be idk#my ramblings#oh and this mystery person has also gone through possible months of Isolation beforehand if that helps#so like they're having a super fun okie dorey time and def not in a honestly hopeless situation#typing this at 12-1AM is probably a bad idea but I'm gonna be busy tomorrow so
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youtube
oh hooray that this was reuploaded by the videographer
#posted it here some time ago upon realizing the original upload was gone. says this one was posted a year ago? mysteries#really thorough stuff going on in the video description. which is a compliment#will roland#Youtube
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I feel like I say this a lot, but I really don't want fandom blogs here 💀 not comfortable with that
#ash rambles 💚#idk just keep having these mystery people pop into my notifs#i just feel so embarrassed absjahsja#also.. if you're not a selfshipper what even is for you here..? I'm just lost#i cannot tell you how many times I've checked my notifs these last few weeks and gone#who the FUCK are you???
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I think the take-away from my near death experience is that I am simply unkillable
#its either laugh or cry and i choose laugh#i have become extremely cautious since then#in case this post is concerning#i honestly never felt i was in that much danger#i wasnt able to check my skin at the time even though i knew i had hives#only once i had been admitted and set up in the ER did it start to feel severe#esp after i saw my vitals#and looking at it from the ERs point of view#patient walks in after driving three hours in anaphylaxis for two of them#epipen a foot away and unused#HR 144 BP 150/100 and PMH of uncontrolled severe asthma#and also reporting difficulty swallowing and asthma#yeah okay i get it#there was a moment i decided between going into my home after a long drive or restarting the car and driving five min to the ER#thats a crossroads#i had no clue i had a life threatening allergy disorder#i thought i had a nearly gone childhood peanut allergy#good call i suppose#i did get scolded for the epipen tho#heres the mystery to me tho: where did the hypertension come from?#im normally hypotensive#bp technique wasnt ideal but not enough to cause that kind of distortion#anaphylactic shock is supposed to cause hypotension#maybe one of the many medications im on#or a unique feature of mcas#ramble over#although I'll never be done treating my medical records like an interesting puzzle#disability#chronic illness#salt baby talks
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in all seriousness i 90% sure im going to quit my job tomorrow and for a while i will have just enough money to live on and will have to spruce up my resume and job hunt and stress but MY GOD i need to do something else because this is making me suicidal
#like actively suicidal. wanting to die in a way i have not since highschool. literally woke up and thought 'i dont want to be here anymore'#and then couldnt make myself get out of bed until like 10 minutes before i had to leave the house for job 2#i know its unprofessional but i pretty much...quiet quit i guess. i worked from home for like a month straight without telling my boss#and she called yesterday wondering about it and the whole time the only thing i could think of was 'you didnt even know for a MONTH#thats how little people communicate around here#the office culture is toxic. the people are self absorbed and shut me out. ive gone through like 6 big life events and no one knows because#no one in that office cares enough to ask. and even if i volunteer the most i get is a 'wow that wild look at this tiktok yeah anyway'#im so burnt out. i have 1 day of rest and i dont get to do that at all. so no like im not going to get up get dressed sit in traffic park#on the street because a year later they still havent given me a clicker for the parking lot and sit in the back of a warehouse for hours#talking to no one. ive literally gone days without talking to anyone there. its so lonely.#theres only so many audiobooks and podcasts and albums you can listen to before you think 'i would be ok getting hit by a truck tomorrow'#im going to hate these next few months but i just need time#and the lord works in mysterious ways because my other boss just started talking about hiring for mon/tues which are the days i work bad jo#so i would at least get those hours until i find something else stable. im going to try very hard not to be mean about it but im like...#hey girl this place sucks ass and you know it. im not negotiating#but thanks for that raise 9 months late#im giving you three weeks for find a replacement and i dont care if you fire me in that time#il work from home or panera or starbucks or library but im not stepping in that office again unless its for my minifridge and heater
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